#polyam aro culture is

[polyam-aro-culture-is]

poly-aro culture is having a queerplatonic crush on almost all your friends and being perfectly content with the situation

Same

[aro-culture-is]

Aro culture is being poly without realizing it

.

[aroallo-culture-is]

Poly aroallo culture is gossiping with your fwb about people you both have the hots for so you can team up and plan your double attack

.

[our-polyam-aspec-experience]

Hey everybody!

My name is Oryn and I wanted to create a space for people who are Aspec and also polyamorous!

This blog can be for anything relating to that.

I also run @polyam-aro-culture-is

You might have seen me mention a discord so if you are interested let me know! (Though I’m aiming to have it be 18+)

I might do a proper intro post later but I am 23 and my pronouns are he/they.

[scarletstripe]

Rest of the designs!

Check out my art-only blog!

[polyamorouscultureis]

polyam aro culture is getting imposter syndrome bc you can barely manage to land 1 person, much less multiple 😭

F in the chat to my arospec followers, yall are an inspiration 😭

[artsyaech]

a masterlist of [thing] culture is... blogs!

[PT: a masterlist of [thing] culture is... blogs!]

part 1: orientations and general queerness

queer - general

@queercutlureis

@gay-culture-is

aspec

@ace-culture-is

@aro-culture-is

@autospec-culture-is

@aspec-culture

@questioning-aspec-culture-is

@quoicultureis

@qpr-culture-is

@aroace-culture-blog

@aro-ace-culture-is

@angled-aroace-culture (run by meee)

@tertiary-attraction-culture-is

@omniaspec-culture-is

@aego-culture-is

@aegoromantic-culture-is

@demisexual-culture-is

@demiromantic-culture-is

@aroace-autie-culture-is

@plato-repulsed-culture-is

@atertiary-culture-is

@cupio-culture-is

@demiro-ace-culture-is

@demiro-allosexual-culture-is

@polyam-aro-culture-is

@greyromantic-culture-is

@aplatonic-culture-is

@apl-culture-is

@aspec-sapphic-culture-is

@gray-culture-is

@arospike-culture-is

@abrosexual-culture-is

mlm

@achilleancultureis

@mlm-culture-is

wlw

@lesbian-culture-is

@sapphic-cultureis

mspec

@mspec-gay-culture-is

@bisexual-culture-is

@bi-culture-is

@pan-culture-is

@mspec-culture-is

@gaybian-culture-is

@omnisexualcultureis

@neptunic-culture-is

@uranic-culture-is

[117-opossum-teeth]

i was gonna wait to share these until arospec awareness week but i’ve been in alloro spaces for too long and wanted to share my recent art of my aro ocs to shake the bad vibes off!! im gonna do a little bit of infodumping abt them below >:)

the first drawing is of tatum (left) and dylan (right)! they are QPPs! :] tatum (she/her) is aroallo, grayro, and polyam! she’s also in a romantic relationship with another character. she loves being out in nature and has lots of hobbies like gardening, photography, and foraging! she’s big on appreciating the small things and prefers to be in quiet, peaceful areas. dylan (they/them) is aroqueer and genderqueer, and loves vulture culture and anything to do with bugs (beetles are their favorite)! they like sketching and being competitive (although sometimes they take it a little too far lol), and they take awhile to be comfortable around others.

i don’t have their backgrounds completely fleshed out, but i like to think since she was young tatum never got the big deal abt romantic relationships (while she’s in one now, she doesn’t view it as inherently superior to other relationship types) and didn’t buy into amatonormative ideas. dylan, on the other hand, tried to be in a romantic relationship which failed, and they fell victim to some amatonoramtive ideas until they met tatum! tatum taught them about aromanticism and generally made them a lot more comfortable with themself and their identity. sooner or later the both of them realized they wanted to be QPPs and they now call each other their zucchinis! <2

the second drawing is of mistletoe (he/him)! he’s frayromantic, homosexual, and non partnering! he has a group of friends, one of whom he has a fwb situation with. he can act arrogant sometimes but he means well. he’s actually a big softy but tries to act cool (he doesn’t like people treating him like he’s weak or “lesser” for being a rabbit, so he thinks he has to make up for it by acting tougher sometimes). while being aro, he actually loves flirting with people, he treats it like a game haha. although as soon as the flirting advances to something more, he gets freaked out and repulsed. and ironically, being frayromantic, on the rare occasions he does experience romantic attraction, he loses his entire ability to flirt due to nerves.

thanks for reading!!! i love these guys sm :]

[hillbillyoracle]

For the longest time I’ve been thinking these thoughts as well that I don’t think the Ace label fits me completely. It’s not completely wrong but it’s not the whole picture. Before I came to this same understanding I made the decision to not have children or get married. Now that I’m coming to terms with the fact that I actually have low energy I’m still not sure how life will look. I was starting to think that I was non commital and that my ideal relationship would just be a long term partner. I don’t think I have the energy for « society’s relationship expectations » and I don’t feel like bothering other people because I already know they don’t want to deal with me. What are some of your long term relationships tips? It’s either that or I stay single forever which is an idea that’s I’ve always considered as an option. One of the things with being Ace is that when you don’t just follow the script that’s when your the villain. Any other time our sexuality is convient for the system so it’s fine but the minute it starts disrupting their program suddenly what was once admirable is now disdained. Can we briefly mention what sexual power looks like when your this sexuality. I’m super self conscious about how I dress because I know I can’t event express my sexuality the way I want to because people might get the wrong impression. I’m not looking for anything I’m expressing myself because with the little energy I have left I use for creativity. I don’t have a problem with people doing things to signal sexual willingness my problem is the violence in our society when someone finds you hot and you don’t want to « put out » That’s not even getting into the mind games that the genders are playing with each other just the idea of it makes me not want to date. I’m tired just thinking about it. I’m really starting to imagine my life as the village witch living in the forest far from the villagers.

I also don't know that Ace/Aro really fits me but whatever I'm experiencing is at least Ace/Aro adjacent because there's a major overlap in experiences - getting frustrated with compulsory sexuality/romance, chaffing against society being organized around romantic and sexual coupling, simply not having impulses that my friends and family do. I made the decision very young that I didn't want to get married. I wanted to care for children but I didn't necessarily want to physically have any. So I knew from a pretty young age I was going a different route - in those ways I really relate to a lot of aceness.

However, I'm hearing from so many people that dating has become exhausting. And it's substantially more of a sentiment than it was say 10 years ago. Research backs this up - fewer people are dating and having sex. The younger you are, the more pronounced this is. So clearly there's also been a cultural shift in and around dating that's made it unsustainable for a lot of people as well. I'm sure that's also shaping my desire too.

So it's difficult to parse for me.

I think I have very little in the way of advice for long term relationships for a few reasons.

One, while I've been with my partner for seven years, it's been a tumultuous relationship. She was originally diagnosed with BPD and more recently was diagnosed with NPD. While I care about her a whole lot, she's not exactly emotionally available and it's taken years of painstaking effort on my part to establish norms and guide us toward a point of relative stability in our home life. Even if therapy and treatment eventually lead to her being more available, the likelihood of other aspects of a typical relationship (sexual desire, level of romantic reciprocity, etc) lining up seem low.

"Then leave!" I always hear.

No. Because on some level this works. We both are polyam/relationship anarchists who value our friendships very highly and build parts of our lives around them. We have similar preferences in how home and finances should be maintained. She has few preferences in areas I have many and vice versa. She's very good at things I suck at (bureaucracy, paying bills, speaking with officials, etc) and I'm good at things she sucks at (meal planning, ordering and organizing inventory, maintaining a social calendar, etc). While she's far from perfect, she's the most functional and helpful roommate I've ever had. I simply cannot afford to live on my own and neither could she.

So I feel like I have little to offer in the way of long term relationship advice other than don't be afraid to establish relationship norms that aren't common in other relationships. If the other person is on board, you're not harming any one. I know of no one who's been living with someone for 5+ years who has stuck 100% to the classic romantic formula for success.

My parents have been together for 30+ years and have always maintained a high degree of autonomy and alone time - even with my mom's stroke leaving her paralyzed on her right side several years ago. I have a friend who's lived separately in the same town from her long term partner of multiple years and they're both quite happy with that arrangement. I think often of the research lead I worked under who lived in a completely different city than her husband for 10+ years. They visited each other's spaces most weekends but not all.

A lot of things people swear are innately part of a relationship are really optional. The base model is respect and mutual appreciation, everything else is an upsell. Take it or leave it.

Per dressing to express - I think miscommunication is just always going to happen. People act according to their lenses and there's no way to completely circumvent that. And yeah, they're hellishly rude and can even be dangerous about that but there's no way to be totally free of it since it's so far outside of ones own control.

I have found no way to accurately communicate my sexuality/preferences through my appearance with any reliability. My classic example of this for me is that it seems like no matter how I dress, people on dating apps assume I'm a top/dom/pleasure centered. Even when I included a picture of me in self bondage and explicitly listed my preferences on one more open minded app - only seemed to get interest from bottoms/subs/pleasure centered folks. Many of whom didn't bother to ask they were so certain - just based on my look. I've just come away from those experiences pretty convinced that people see what they want to see regardless of how hard you try to communicate yourself.

So fuck em. As frustrating as it all is there's really only one path I've found - do what you want (as long as you're not hurting anyone.)

Cause like what the fuck else is there to do?

[brain-stuck]

what up welcome to brainstuck

were called that because we . Because we are Stuck in th

were a massively introject heavy system of like 27 or some shit and we made this blog to. idk reblog system shit and maybe you guys can interact with us or smth . this blog was the result of a democratic vote so here it is 💯

COLLECTIVE INFO

bodily 23

trans dude, default to he / him

overall aroace. headmate identities heavily impact the Flavoring so were loveless, lovequeer, nonamorous and partnering all at the same time

refer to us as a whole as brainstuck or perhaps bingus. i am serious we will respond to bingus

not endogenic or traumagenic but a secret third thing (nunyagenic) (nunya business)

DISCLAIMER some of us arent white in brain but we are bodily white . we dont claim those identities but we do like learning about those cultures so if you got any cool facts hit us up

the resident shawties

COHOSTS: kyle (irl), xingqiu (discord), dave (tungle)

FREQUENT FRONTERS: tao, shinobu, yoimiya, layla / samira, lynette, kaveh

OTHER SHAWTIES: bo, john, rose, jade, jane, dirk, jake, lark, aradia, sollux, karkat, feferi, lumine, barbara, keqing, xinyan, kokomi, bronya

LITTLE BITCHES: dimple (<- what we named our intrusive thoughts demon)

click the read more for more info on us individually OK EPIC BYEEEE

KYLE 💤 - Our core Guy. The OG. He / him, trans, aroace. Handles IRL stuff. Professional Sleeper. We are all facets of this guy including This Guy

DAVE 🎧 - @aroacedavestrider and @incorrect-hs-quotes (mod dave). he / him aroace homestuck gang. yallready know whats goin on. cohost

QIU 🌊 - @alegendofsword and @blueboy-mlm. He / him, gay ace, trans. Genshin Gang. Cohost. Name is pronounced “CHYO”. Writer and reader.

KAVEH 🏛️ - @kavehshahrewar. He / him Genshin gang uh. Horrendously gay. I am suddenly the tallest bitch in this house and I don’t know how this happened. Slay

BO 📺 - @nosignal-standby. he / it. aroace. nonhuman static entity. voidsona. shoutout to deltaverse. probably a trauma holder.

JADE 🌱 - @gardeniagnostic. she / they demigirl! polyam pan, homestuck gang :) talk to me about hawai’ian culture and green magic!!!

LAYLA / SAMIRA 🌟 - @fantastical-eveningstar. she / her for both of us, two-person subsystem. demiaroace and maybe bi about it ?? genshin gang. astrology nerd

JOHN 👻 - he / him, biro ace, homestuck gang. resident Dissociator™. i’m learning spanish and greek! june egberts can interact if comfortable. :)

ROSE 🐙 - She / It. Demi, sapphic. Bi lesbian, don’t care to figure out which I am specifically. Homestuck gang. Talk to me about crystal magic.

JANE 🎂 - She / He? Bi, some kind of gender going on. Homestuck gang. Not frequently near pilot. Sorry :B

DIRK 🔥 - He / him. Gay, aro, left arm amputee in headspace. Rewatching MLP. Rarity is funnier than I remember. Homestuck Gang.

JAKE 💀 - He / they demiboy quoi-aro and bi! Homestuck gang. Absolutely talk to me about crazy ancient relics and sites. Australian not british!

LARK 🐦‍⬛ - he / him and bi. kind of a fucked up human bird davesprite thing. not crow strider. used to go by luke. part time protector

ARADIA ♈️ - she / they n0nbinary thang. ar0ace. autistic 0n the beat ab0ut cryptids and urban legends 0u0. h0mestuck gang. name is pr0n0unced “uh-RAY-dee-uh”

SOLLUX ♊️ - he / hiim, biiro ace. iidk much el2e ii ju2t work here. ii play a lot of miinecraft. home2tuck gang

KARKAT ♋️ - HE / HIM, GREY-ARO, PAN AND ACE. VITILIGO NATION RISE UP. FREQUENT FRONTER. HOMESTUCK GANG.

FEFERI ♓️ - S)(e / )(er and pan! Name is pronounced “F-EF-furry”. )(omestuck Gang 38) !! I’m a trauma )(older, actually!

LUMINE ✨ - She / her, lesbian. Genshin Gang, kind of a… splice between Traveler and Abyss Lumine? I was both. I am both. Where is Aether

BARBARA 🎶 - she / her and bi ^^ genshin gang. i love to sing and make playlists for my headmates! kind of a… religious trauma processor??

XINYAN 🎸 - she / they ace lesbian and im the proud token punk rock headmate WOOO!!! genshin gang. send me cool music!! names pronounced “SHIN-yan”

TAO ⚰️ - she / they aroace :) genshin gang ! i collect books full of ghost stories so tell me some if you dare~

KEQING 💫 - She / her, lesbian. Genshin gang. Name is pronounced “KUH-ching”, but I also go by Kit. Let’s call me the… “manifestation of productivity”.

SHINOBU 🗡️ - she / he. not picky. aroace, genshin gang. i also go by “shoby”. protector.

KOKOMI 🐟 - She / her lesbian and Genshin Gang! Qiu and I read a lot of books together and I would be very happy to hear recommendations :)

YOIMIYA 🎆 - she / her demi lesbian genshin gaaaang nice to meet you!!! i’m a… motivator?? lmao?? yeah!!

LYNETTE 🎩 - She / her aroace. Genshin Gang. Call me Nette please. Not much of a talker

BRONYA 🐰 - She / her unsure of what the Bronya is. Bronya likes Seele. The Bronya is a newer member of system and does not know what she likes yet. Only Honkai subject as far as the Bronya knows.

DIMPLE - this is our resident “and a half”. hes like our intrusive thoughts brain demon and we all hate him so we made him look like dimple mp100 and we call him shit like “scringle” and “bunkle” and “grinkle”. hes not allowed to talk cause he sucks but if he was wed make him use this 👹 ok epic

THANKS FOR READING THAT WAS MAD LONG ok. 👍

[charmixpower]

Here's a version with no bg! And under the cut imma explain my hcs!

Going in order;

Tecna: Nonbinary Flag cape, Aro and Ace belt clips, Transfeminine pin, and Autism pin

Tecna doesn't really care about figuring out what her exact gender is because that doesn't affect the happiness she experiences in her life so she uses the macro label of Nonbinary and Transfeminine, and was very happy simply socially transitioning to being more feminine

She uses She/He/They pronouns, and doesn't actually care which one people use for her. Since magic is a very female dominant field and because she's transfeminine most people just assume she only uses she/her and she honestly doesn't care enough to correct them

She experiences no type of attraction, but isn't repulsed. She's completely neutral but is very much interested in not participating

She's very autistic. She experiences shut downs, takes things very literally, is like aggressive sincere bc not doing that never occurred to her, can't read others emotions to save her life—people on Zenith usually keep to themselves and have a extremely straightforward culture that very autism friendly so Tecna never noticed she was different until she left

Aisha: Lesbian Flag, Demi aro ace pin, and that's the Pride flag in her bag

Aisha is exclusively attracted to women and only experiences attraction after knowing someone well. Additionally, Demi people have different amounts of time for when they feel attraction and for Aisha they have to be at the very least good friends before any attraction can develop

Musa: Bisexual jacket

Musa is bisexual with a preference for men. She figured out she was bisexual after watching the world's shittest romance movie and wished she was dating both of them. She is the most disastrous of bisexuals. Shes never had a crush on a normal person, that or it's another straight girl. Someone pray for her

Bloom: Omni Flag cape, and Autism pin

Had a friend describe Omni as being between Pan and Bi, where gender plays a role but not as big and it really fitt the way I see Bloom so here. Bloom experiences attraction differently based on gender but has no preference, so she's Omni. I genuinely think Bloom would like and use micro labels, she just comes off to me as a "I need to find the perfect word to decide my experience" girlie

Bloom's autism is all in the sensitivity, being easily overwhelmed and wanting to process in a safe place, complete lack of understanding of danger, and huge special interest baybeee. Also her complete inability to express empathy without filtering it though her own life experience but eventually she figures out how to just express empathy and sympathy without doing that XD

Stella: Pan dress, ADHD purse, and three different Polyamorous pins

Stella is pan "because I can't deny any gender a shot" - Stella of Solaria

That's a real quote. She told me herself. Yeah but she's pan and thinks everyone is hot. Shes our Combined type ADHD queen. Bow down. The three different polyam pins are because there're two different popular flags, the most common really ugly one and the redesign so I used both so people would understand and the new polyam symbol. If she and Brandon met someone they wanted to date there would be no question if they tried to bring them into the relationship. Only when

Flora: Bisexual dress, Pride belt, and Pride earrings

Flora is bisexual with a preference for women. She has no clue she was into men for a little while, primarily bc she finds femininity the most attractive so it was until she saw a gnc guy and couldn't stop staring that she realized she was bisexual. The distinguished bisexual to Musa's utter disaster

[polyam-aro-culture-is]

PLEASE SPREAD TO ALL AROACE AND POLYAM BLOGS THAT YOU CAN

Hey guys just so you know there’s a aphobe and polyphobe going around and leaving hateful messages. Just go ahead and block aphobic-polyphobe before they come harass you.

[aro-culture-is]

aro culture is being very fond of your close friends, and wondering if you actually like them romantically and are actually a fraud bc of allonormativity

.

[relaxxattack]

a few people have remarked on my marriage for poly/aro people post like “this is why we should get rid of marriage altogether so that married people aren’t superior to anyone else” which is like. did you… miss the entire body of the post? explaining why you would want to be able to choose the people legally bound to you for emergency scenarios? like. you do realize that getting rid of the option to choose your legal family altogether puts you right back at square one of “your queerphobic parents will be in charge of your health choices, funeral, possessions, and children if you die”.

what part of “being able to choose who the government asks about your best wishes when you aren’t available is important, and therefore should be expanded to be multiple people if you are polyam or aro etc” somehow got translated in your mind to “being able to choose who is your legal family is a bad privilege actually and should be gotten rid of”

sure wedding culture is terrible and yes our society is grossly heteronormative and sort of socially poisoned the concept of marriage as that old “ball and chain” blah blah yeah. but i cannot stress enough (and i did. in that post. multiple times) that i’m not talking about the social dynamics of marriage but rather the LEGAL ABILTY to LEGALLY ASSIGN other people as your family and give them the stamp of approval for making your choices if you’re in a fucking coma and can’t legally sign off or consent to anything!

[docmerlin]

i think. one of the reasons ppl hate aros so much (and aces as an extension, but these thoughts came from seeing arophobia) is because a lot of allo people who do things the traditional way suffer so much for the sake of their romantic relationships, and they’re just... taught to be okay with that. like that’s Normal. “i hate my wife” jokes, “my boyfriend won’t let me do this,” “marriage is the end of your life,” etc. looking at these sorts of relationships from the outside, it seems like people are miserable and yet they don’t question it.

the default expectation is to pick one person to commit to for as long as you live, so a lot of people settle for someone they’re not 100% happy with, and they end up hating their spouse or they just get divorced and look for another person to fill some kind of void they think is there. and it seems like most people will just pick one person kinda early on in life since they’re afraid of being single or “dying alone“ or whatever. there’s this immense pressure to “settle down“ before everyone else has been claimed by a romantic partner, and if you don’t, people see that as a failure.

so when someone takes a step outside that default expectation and coins a term for it (aros, aces, polyam people, relationship anarchists, etc) people feel threatened. they go through So Much in order to find that one perfect romantic partner, and other people are out here having different types of fulfilling relationships without following the formula they’ve been taught all their life.

i think it’s the same with other types of queerness honestly. trans & nonbinary people break the Gender Rules set by society, so people get upset and yell “you can’t do that!“ bi/pan/etc people experience attraction to more than one gender, whereas you’re “supposed“ to be attracted to only one, so people think mspec people are a threat to them somehow. they think they need to point and laugh and shame these people for breaking tradition, so they can keep their fragile status quo.

i want to clarify that i am NOT saying aro/ace/polyam/RA people are inherently “better” for their identities or relationship styles. i’m not saying romantic relationships = suffering or that people can’t have healthy & fulfilling monogamous relationships.

i’m saying the widely-accepted culture around monogamy & romantic relationships in general is incredibly toxic. deconstructing these ideas of what we “should“ be doing in our relationships would benefit everyone, whether you’re queer or not. if you’re miserable in a committed relationship, you shouldn’t have to stay in it just because society tells you you’re worthless if you don’t have one. and if someone doesn’t feel a certain type of attraction or chooses not to engage in traditional relationships, they don’t deserve to be mocked and bullied for it.

if you have a fulfilling romantic relationship, or you want to seek one out, i’m so happy for you! this post is not an attack on you. it’s for people who are assholes to anyone who doesn’t follow tradition.

[qpr-culture-is]

Qpr culture is getting a qpc(queer platonic crush) on one of your mutually aro friends, but then figuring out they already have a qpr... (This totally didn't happen to me recently)

perhaps if they're interested and wouldn't mind you could suggest a polyaffectionate relationship. if you weren't already aware of what it means, it's just a term for a polyam qpr