#political irony

[alwaysbewoke]

and i don't feel a lick of sorry for this dude smfh.

[lgbtlunaverse]

The world exists in such a baffling state of simultaneous sex-aversion and sex-hegemony. Every social platform on the internet is trying to banish sex workers to the shadow realm but I can't post a tweet without at least two bots replying P U S S Y I N B I O. People are self-censoring sex to seggs and $3× but every other ad you see is still filled with half-naked women. Rightwingers want queer people arrested for so much as existing in the same postal code as a child and are also drumming up a moral panic about how teenage boys aren't getting laid enough. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

[izzystizzys]

“ - but have you ever considered, I don’t know, not sucking all the time? Just a thought.”

It takes the combined grips of Nuisance and Hound to keep the wriggling, snarling body beneath Fox from throwing him off its back. With three years’ practice of having to fix his own rickety desk chair over and over again, the movement merely ruffles the proverbial fringe on his helmet.

“And I don’t mean that as an insult, necessarily. Well, I do a little bit. But also I have some amount of empathy for the no doubt immense amounts of trauma that had to go into the creation of something so dysfunctional as you, on a very personal level, so have you considered going to the root of that in a way that’s like… useful? Instead of wasting it all on kriffing Kenobi, I mean. Look at the guy. All he does all day is drink tea and commit warcrimes. I bet he knits for fun. Bit of an embarrassing nemesis, don’t you think?”

“I”, says Kenobi, then pauses. The space between his eyebrows is creased with uncertainty, and he looks deeply torn between continuing rocking the shaking Duchess of Mandalore against his chest from his corner of the throne room and re-activating his lightsaber to continue losing his fight against the Darksider Fox is currently sitting on. “I feel like I should object to some part of that, but I’m not entirely clear on what. Or how this happened, again. Isn’t Mandalore a few star systems from your purview, Commander?”

“Probably the warcrimes”, mutters Nuisance underneath his strained breath.

“About as far from my supposed assignment as yours, General”, says Fox a little louder.

Kenobi twitches. Fox cannot claim to know which of them does it. Both, maybe. Probably.

“I will - taste - your - flesh!”, heaves out Darth Maul, snarling and hissing.

“Oooh, kinky!”, calls Grids, from the corner where she’s got her stun-setting aimed at the other Zabrak, currently passed out cold. Fox sighs deeply. He knew he shouldn’t have taken those three - any combination of Grids, Hound and Nuisance in a room together usually spelled chaos.

Unfortunately, it also spelled competence. The Basic alphabet can be funny that way.

The point being: as of some months into the war, one of Fox’s assigned tasks is the surveillance of all GAR-wide communication. All command-class staff theoretically got that memo, but no one seems to have read the fine print where that includes both professional and personal communication, as well as any and all comm devices registered or suspected to be registered to that person. Especially not one Anakin Skywalker and Padmé Amidala.

The point further being, if that sounds both immensely impractical and sort of terrifying in a democratic supposedly non-surveillance state, you’d be bang on the credits, and to Fox’ eternal chagrin the singular person in this whole useless army who’s spent the second of thinking necessary for that conclusion.

The final point being, when one frantic General’s mad dash across the Galaxy to rescue his teenage sweetheart from the spectre of his supposedly dead nemesis crosses his desk on its way to the Chancellor’s inbox, it doesn’t take much time for him to block any and all trace of it across the digital space of the GAR commboard and take matters into his own hands.

“ - which is why I told Thorn to suck it up and be in charge for a few days, and also why you’re still alive, your Highness, very welcome, was no trouble at all”, he concludes, drily. The Duchess stares the wide-eyed look of someone attempting to reconcile clones with ‘sentience’ or perhaps ‘personality’ in her head, but won’t say it outright.

Or the look of someone who’s just been violently overthrown and nearly murdered, perhaps, Fox allows.

“Um -“, Kenobi hedges, blinking rapidly.

“And the reason you’re still alive, probably. You’re welcome for that too, by the way”, Grids calls from the back of the throne room, cheekily.

“Alright”, says Kenobi, loudly. There’s color back in his deathly-pale cheeks, Fox notes, even if that color is a lot of red. It doesn’t fade very gracefully into his beard. “Opinions on whether or not I had everything under control notwithstanding -“

“You really didn’t”, Hound supplies helpfully.

“ - opinions notwithstanding, I am admittedly still lost on why you’re now sitting on Darth Maul and attempting to, to - jeer at him, Marshall Commander!”

“We’re not jeering, we’re trying to create a safe space and lay the groundwork for more open communication”, Fox says, primly.

Maul screams into the ground, attempting for the umpteenth time to rear up and visit great violence upon Fox, which admittedly has him rattling in his crosslegged seat atop his back.

Kenobi raises a perfectly plucked eyebrow. “Safe space?”

“He’s restrained and not stabbing anyone, I personally feel much safer than before”, Grids muses. “Watch the teeth though, Hound. Little biter.”

Indeed. Fox’s right greave will have to be replaced posthaste.

“And anyways, the point isn’t to jeer at him, it’s to make clear that he’s focusing his energy in the wrong places and could be doing much better things with his admittedly not-great life”, Fox adds, shifting to cast a pointed look down at Maul. The Sith is panting open-mouthed into the durasteel floor, sharp teeth gnashing wildly as his piercing yellow eyes shine with barely restrained rage. “I’m just saying - aim higher. You aren’t seeing the forest for the Kenobis, Maul. Can I call you Maul?”

“I will feed you your own entrails”, yowls Maul.

“See, that’s exactly what I’m talking about. Right now, I’m an easy target to focus all that built-up rage on, but is killing me really going to help you achieve any of your goals? No! Think about it - when it all comes down to it, who sent you on that mission to Naboo in the first place? Who made sure the Jedi and, by extension, Kenobi would be there to kill you? Who used you as a dejarik piece and then cast you aside the second you outlived your usefulness?”

Beneath him, Maul slowly stills in his struggle, still panting heavily. Hound and Nuisance don’t let it deter them in their vigilance, because they’re damn good vod’e and possess an ounce of common sense.

“And, look, I get it. I could spend the rest of my life punching every civilian who spits on me in the streets and it would even be satisfying. I could hit back the Senators who think of clones as easy targets. Or - I can aim my sights at who’s on top. And I think you know who I mean, because you know as well as I do the same damn man has ruined both our lives.”

Kenobi makes an alarmed noise, and Maul an interested one - not that Fox is going to let him walk out of this place awake. Still, he tilts his head in a way he hopes conveys his helmeted grin successfully to non-vod, as well as the bloodlust behind it. “You’re also welcome for the fact that the Chancellor won’t have heard of your spontaneous resurrection yet, by the way. You’ll retain your element of surprise instead of gambling it away on petty revenge on Kenobi.”

“He cut me in half!”

“He killed my master!”

Fox waves their protests away.

“Also, that’s treason!”, Kenobi adds, sputtering. Fox grins. Kenobi purses his lips, and continues. petulantly, “…do you have any proof?”

“So. Much. Proof”, says Nuisance, dreamily. “Like, do you want it alphabetically or by date?”

Which is when the Duchess, of all people, bursts out into barking, crazed laughter.

“You - you’ve certainly given yourself an edge in that fight, Marshall Commander”, she wheezes, brushing tears from her eyes. Fox raises his eyebrows at her, which she somehow seems to be able to tell, because she gestures at the clunky handle dangling from his belt.

“What, this old thing?” He unclasps the black rectangle from its hook, holding it up in the air. Maul stills strangely beneath him, and Kenobi goes ghostly pale again. Fox is starting to get a bad feeling.

“I took it off Viszla and beat him over the head with it. I figured he’d taken it off a Jedi cadet or something. What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

[madame-helen]

Seethe Maoists.

[animentality]

my brother isn't voting today.

he has a perfectly legitimate reason, though, don't get mad.

his fucking lungs collapsed and he's in the hospital :)

he was planning on voting, but, you know. things happen.

[moonbean117]

[falling-feels-like-flying]

i just want it to be known that I've been a Lando hater long before being a Lando hater was cool

[girl-with-bones]

Now listen. Sometimes you see a post on here like this

And I know it can be really tempting at first to just scroll away and not even think.

But I bet if you gave them a chance, actually listened and actually talked,

People are more reasonable than you think. And more often than not, even willing to- wait, ah- shit

Wait- shit my hand slipped. Oh no! Ah- ah come on, wait-

Oh- damnit- that too?- hand slipped again! god that is crazy, do I need to get my phone checked out- aw, aw no! It's gone.

well isn't that just terrible. And I was so looking forward to that nice, reasonable discussion too! damn

[things-with-teeth]

[chimera-dolls]

Cos I saw someone 'defending' their misuse of the dollblr tag after receiving an ask about it because 'other people do it' - this is why it's a fucking problem in the first place. It is against TOS. It is unrelated to your post, it is spam, and don't be surprised if everything you post gets reported.

Just because other people spam the tag too, doesn't magically excempt it from TOS or user guidelines. Like at this point I am straight up breaking this down to bare bones website operation here, what's so hard to understand? It's shit like this that literally degrades website quality because as you spread your crap over multiple tags that are accumulating like a goddamn snowball, people stop actually using those tags for the topic they were meant for. People stop posting. People leave. Welcome to dead internet.

It doesn't matter if you see other people doing it, rules are rules. There is a reason WHY tag spam is against the rules and that's to keep a website useable. Actual Dollbr-bloggers? Keep reporting guys.

[this-acuteneurosis]

Dominos

Politicking comes with its ups and downs, but Padmé is starting to find the downs overwhelming. And suspicious. Almost like a setup, actually.

Meanwhile, there is no leash short enough to restrain a Skywalker.

[madame-helen]

France right now.

[calliopechild]

For the third-party voters arguing that they're pulling for a better candidate with a genuine chance of winning and not splitting the vote--okay. Let's suspend reality pretend that's true. In that case, please answer the following for me:

Why haven't I heard of your third-party candidate before now if they have such a good platform and they're clearly the better alternative? How good of a candidate can they be if they have no public support outside of your very vehement niche on tumblr and apparently no real skill at/infrastructure for getting their message out?

"Well, because they're a small campaign! They're not corporate shills! They aren't taking Dark Money!" Mkay, so are they taking in any money? If they don't have the finances to support their message, let alone their campaign, that doesn't exactly point to the kind of interest that substantiates your claim that they have A Real Chance, Guys, I Swear of winning the election.

For that matter, Insistent That You're Not Splitting The Vote blog, why is it that there is absolutely nothing on said blog about your candidate prior to this spring? Yeah, that's the time frame of most states' primaries, but like...you'd think that since [candidate] is your ideal political blorbo, you would have been boosting their message before then--you know, to support them and get people to vote for them in the primaries. Kinda weird that you weren't enthusiastic about them any earlier than 5 months before the election. Kinda convenient that you're insistent that this, Year Of The Most Fraught And Partisan Election Part 3: Fascism Boogaloo, is the year a third-party candidate totally has a chance.

On the heels of that, what have you been doing to work toward a future where a third-party candidate actually has a real chance? Because there's a whole lot of nothing on your blog about anything helpfully actionable, like how people can work to get ranked-choice voting on their state's ballot. Instead, your blog is mostly just how important it is to "show the Dems people are tired of choosing between two bad candidates by taking your ball and going home instead."

Does your candidate have any political support on the local, regional, or federal level from either party or independents? Because executive orders aside, they aren't getting shit done in their presidency if they don't have any political allies or a party allegiance to draw on.

For that matter, what has your candidate accomplished politically thus far? What can they point to as proof that they could be a successful president?

And the real question it all boils down to: do you really, full honesty, no bullshit believe your candidate can beat Trump?

"Well, if people just--" Nope. No "well, if these 18 extremely fortuitous and equally unlikely things happen" wish-fulfillment scenarios. As things stand right now, in the real world, can your candidate get the necessary votes? Do they have the kind of appeal that can get even lifelong Republicans to endorse them and the track record to back up their campaign promises? Do 270 Electoral College votes' worth of Americans know them and support their policies?

Because unless you're lying to yourself, I'm willing to bet the answer is no. And yeah, this applies to all of the third-party candidates. Look at this piece from Politico: https://www.politico.com/interactives/2024/where-are-third-party-candidates-ballots/ You'll notice that not one of them has managed to get on the ballot for every single state. Please make the extremely obvious conclusions about their chances.

('But calliope, there's another third-party candidate that isn't on there.' Yes, I'm aware. Politico is no doubt aware too. For some wacky reason they decided not to include the Unicorn Party on their list, idk.)

"I'm still not going to support a genocide--" Even if you don't "support a genocide" by voting, I'm sorry to inform you that you are green-lighting a genocide by not acting to prevent a second Trump presidency. Because the reality is that either Kamala or Trump will be winning the election, regardless of what you'd like to believe. If Kamala doesn't win, we get Trump--the guy who wants Netanyahu to "turn Gaza into a parking lot" and wants internment camps in the U.S. for immigrants. You don't want to support a genocide, so instead you're splitting the vote or talking people out of voting so that we end up with both a genocide abroad and one right here at home. Because if you don't think Trump will take the Supreme Court-ordained right to commit any crime he'd like and, backed by the Heritage Foundation, go after immigrants and the LGBT+ community--like he's explicitly said he'll do all throughout the Project 2025 manifesto--then you haven't been paying attention to anything in the last 8 years.

We can't afford a close election like 2020. The right has been tossing around the phrase "civil war" for the last couple years and is just waiting for an excuse. Unless they lose by an undeniable margin, it'll be "stop the steal" and fascist gun nuts storming state buildings and harassing governors and secretaries of state at their homes all over again. And to make sure that we have the margin we need to make it clear Trump has lost, splitting the vote cannot happen.

It's awesome that you're invested in the idea of eliminating the two-party system, because yeah, it's fucked. No arguments here. The two-party system, the Electoral College, the lack of automatic voter registration, the lack of ranked-choice voting...a lot of things are fucked about the U.S. electoral system. But we will be able to change approximately none of them under a Trump presidency, and no one has any chance of beating him in November other than Kamala Harris.

And full offense, but if you're still trying to insist otherwise, I'm genuinely unable to assume you are anything other than stubbornly naive at best and a bad faith actor/psyop at worst.

[gayforcarstairsgirls]

I'm absolutely dying at this even THE BIBLE doesn't pass republicans' insane standards for book banning anymore agshahah

[kindredspiritsandgoodomens]

Sam Tyler: I'm going undercover as a new money twat at a country club to investigate murderous swingers. I need a suitable name.

Sam Tyler (undercover as a new money twat at a country club): "Hi. Tony Blair."

[manglechan1204]

Avant d’avoir les résultats et qu’on ait tous envie de crever, j’ai voulu faire un tour des fanfics sur la politique française ( a des fins scientifiques bien entendu ) et oh boi y’a des trucs à dire

Sur Wattpad :

-Il y’a plus de 270 fanfics Bardella x Attal ( Les gars ?? Je comprends amour haine tout ça, mais wsh )

-J'en ai trouvé aucune sur le Front Populaire ou la gauche en général ( ce qui est une bonne chose ? je suppose ? )

-Par contre j’en ai lu une ( pour la science toujours ) où ils sont des persos secondaires 🤷‍♂️

-Antoine Daniel a fait des dégâts irréparables au milieu des fanfics shitpost /pos

AO3 :

-Y’a un tag populaire " RPF Political " ( Je dois vivre avec cette info maintenant )

-La tendance est beaucoup plus au ship Macron sur ce site bien que tjr pas mal de Bardellattal ? *Ugh*

-Toujours aucune du Front Populaire mais j’en ai trouvé avec Mélenchon qui datent toutes de 2017/2018

Voila

Si vous vous voulez plus de détail hésitez pas 👍