#polaris era

[creschendos]

230917 XIUMIN, BAEKHYUN, and CHANYEOL at the final show of CHEN's Polaris Tour~

c: vanilla1127

[breesperez139]

Dc x Dp Prompt #6

“I’m a twin”, Damian said one night. He could feel the narrowed eyes of his family drilling holes on his back in disbelief. Not that he could blame them. Damian had never so much as implied being raised with a companion, much less a sibling.

“I had a brother”. Damian paused to recollect himself. He had not said his brother’s name out loud in over 8 years.

“His name was… Danyal”. Damian hated the way his voice wavered, but he could not help it. Danyal was everything to him, his other half. Their heart beat as one and when one heart stopped beating, the other one died with it. At least until his family put his heart on metaphorical life support without ever realizing.

“Where is he now?” His father asked, voice filled with knowing grief and a hint of betrayal. It had in fact been 6 years since Damian first showed up on his doorstep.

“Up there”. All eyes shifted towards the specific star he was pointing to. “Right before he died, he promised me he’d guide me from the stars. Unfortunately, the stars are not visible in Gotham, so my brother is unable to be of much help unless I leave the city.”

“Your brother is Polaris, the North Star?” Tim questioned warily, most likely in attempts to not offend him. Damian was aware of how stupid it sounded, but Danyal had promised, and his brother never broke his promises.

“Yes. Danyal is with the stars now, just as he always wanted”

[livingdeadhorse]

do y’all like. need a room or something what’s happening

[ale-chii]

MAGNETO & POLARIS

|| Fall of the House of X #5

[pacing-er]

The Krakoa Era Reading List Cherik Version (PART 1):

(In order of timeline)

1. House of X/Powers of X

Tons of Cherik interactions with a lot of emphasis put onto their relationship. Moira/Charles is mentioned but very minor and in the end Charles chooses Erik over her. Highly recommend reading the whole thing since it establishes the universe and has a lot of ship bait.

2. Dawn of X

Some cute moments but overall they do not play a huge part in this series. A majority is dedicated to world building and other characters. Worth reading for the small parts they are in which are unfortunately dispersed throughout 15 volumes. I recommend skimming through it since the moments they are in are good but it is overall skippable.

(Highlights: Charles is assassinated and revived. There are a few angsty scenes with Magneto and their reunion is a little lackluster but sweet. Charles and Erik go to speak at an international meeting and it's cool. Logan gets Magneto drunk so he can steal his helmet, Magneto is a cute chatty drunk. I recommend reading that part at least bc I love it sooo much.)

3. X of Swords

Most of their appearances are in silent counsel meetings and Charles is shown several times in the resurrection chambers. Again they play a much smaller role in this series. The most noteworthy things to come from this series are the cute co-parenting moments between Erik and Charles. Since this one is much shorter (5 volumes as opposed to 15), I will include the moments I personally enjoyed. Aside from these moments I think this series is skippable.

Erik and Charles co-parenting an angsty Polaris (Magneto's daughter):

Erik and Charles being proud of their son Cyclops:

And I just really loved this scene XD Someone hatched from their egg mad as hell and Charles was NOT having it

I am planning to make a series of posts as I read through the Krakoa Era, so for now this is only Part 1. My memory isn't great and I pretty much just scroll until I see Erik or Charles and only read those parts so I'm missing some major context LMAO but I hope this is helpful to anyone

[vertigoartgore]

2024's Fall of the House of X Vol.1 #2 cover by cover artist Pepe Larraz and colorist Marte Gracia.

[receding-tides]

Agent 3, a little on the broke side, decides to sign up for the local shifty job everyone calls 'Salmon Run'. Fighting an army of ferocious fish isn't above her skill level, but the true difficulty lies with her teammates - as one of them seems to have recognised her as the New Squidbeak Splatoon's most fearsome agent.

Here's my piece for @heroshotzine !! :] Leftover sales are open until December 8th!

The fic can be read here with the pretty layout from the zine itself, or alternatively it's posted on Toyhouse and AO3 !

[whackdreamer]

Claire: Look at him! (Gestures Nacht's appearance. Bleached hair, ripped clothes and jeans)

Odette: He looks cool.

Nacht: My clothes fit my vibe.

Claire: And you bleached your hair because?

Nacht: To contrast my outfit, duh.

Claire: Well it makes you look like a fucking lamp post.

Nacht: ….

Yami: 😂 (on the floor wheezing)

[teatitty]

My mood plummeted a bit because my headphones broke but FUCK IT we're doin Wanda tonight we're binging all of Magento: Dark Seduction which also happens to be the first comic with all of the Magnet Kids since a brief issue in the 60's

[creschendos]

[itz-aeri]

Chanyeol and Baekhyun Instagram (Going to see Chens concert I think)

[lexxierave]

Crossing Paths - Sirius Black Part 9

~Flashback Continues~

"Ah Mrs Black. Lovely to see you." I greeted her sweetly. "Sirius was just going to show me the powder room."

Her narrowed black eyes stared at us closely before she spoke again "It can wait. I'd love to here more about you and your parents." She sternly said.

I took a small nervous glance at Sirius. He just gave me a small apologetic smile in return. Almost like he knew his mother was going to grill me about my views and upbringing.

"Follow me." She ordered as she started walking up the stairs and into another room.

We silently followed her to what seemed to be some sort of drawing room. I glanced at the wall and notice a family tree of some sort. A few faces looked like they were blasted off.

"Shut the door Sirius." She instructed once she took a seat. "Now dear what are your views on filthy mud-bloods?"

I strongly resisted the urge to make a face at the mention of that ghastly word and mulled over my words carefully.

"They should be pitied. Trying to compete with the old magic of pure bloods." I recited my father's words

Those words that have been drilled into my head for years. I'd love to see them try to take on Lily Evans.

"Yes. Pitied and wiped out." She agreed "You surprise me. I would have never thought my disgrace of a son would actually make a friend I would approve of. And when my dear Regulus started talking about you I had to be sure you were the same girl."

"Of course. I can understand the concerns of a mother." I started in an understanding tone.

"Yes, which is why a brought you here. The true measure of a person is based on their fears." She smiled wickedly eerie smile at me.

Her words sent terror and confusion across my mind. I glanced at Sirius and he immediately froze, the color draining from his face as his eyes glued to a cabinet in the drawing desk beside his mother.

Without saying a word she flicked her wrist and it opened. What came out was a trunk. Not just any trunk though the very one I had been locked in when I was younger.

Tears threatened to fall before I realized what I was facing, a boggart. Small rasping sounds a young child could be heard crying for help and banging against the wood.

Mrs.Black waves her wand again and the creature disappeared back inside the cabinet.

"Very interesting. You may go now." She calmly said as she rose up and stalked towards the door. "Sirius go help your friend clean up."

I hadn't noticed the tears that streamed down my face until she left and Sirius rushed over and started wiping them away.

"I'm so sorry. I knew she was going question you but I never thought she'd use the boggart." He gushed pulling me into a tight hug as I let my tears fall down my face and on to his shoulder.

"She's more horrible than you said." I cried out

We stood like that for what felt like eternity until my tears dried and I had calmed down. I hate what she did to me. Just to see my value. I was now furious. I could only imagine what Sirius went through all summer long. And every summer before now. 

I pulled away from him and stormed out of the room and up to his room. He followed close on my heels not saying a word until his door was shut again.

"I can understand if you want to leave and if you hate me." He began worried my angry was directed at him.

"I don't hate you Sirius. You can't control the family you're born into. But we can control when and how this party ends." I declared pacing in front of him to try an settle my nerves.

"Oh? What do you have in mind?" He asked intrigued

I walked to my bag and pulled out my wand and a small cage. "I was saving these beauties from Avery and his gang but seeing as they're here I guess it won't be a total waste."

"Are those pixies?" He voiced with surprise.

"Yes, they are. They can be easy to handle but they'll get the job done." I told him.

"Perfect but once they're loose you need to leave. I can handle the rest on my own." He urged.

"Are you sure? Your mother is a real piece of work." I pressed with worry.

"Yeah I'll just slip over to one of my other mates if things get too bad." He promised me.

I nodded in agreement and we set out to put an end to the downstairs party.

When we got close to the base of the stairs but still out of view I looked at the pixies "Now there's a terrible boring party down there. Why do you lot go down and liven it up." I suggested as I opened the cage.

We watched them zoom down and soon heard the cried from the party goers.

"Now it's time for your grand escape." Sirius said taking my hand as he led me through the maze of screaming pure bloods to the fireplace.

I glanced at the fireplace and back to him. I didn't want to leave him here alone but his pleading eyes told me he needed me to leave.

"You better write me and let me know your still alive after this." I halfheartedly joked.

"I'll send an owl as soon I leave." He promised raising our connected hands and giving my hand a kiss.

I, again, nodded at a loss for words at his actions as my cheeks started to feel hot.

I entered into fireplace and called "McCoy household." as I waved goodbye to my evening's date.

Soon the familiar look of my living room was before me and I climbed out.

I absentmindedly walked up to my room and threw myself on my bed. Who knew a simple favor would have turned out like this. 

*I just hope he's ok. If he dies, I'll bring him back and kill him myself.* I thought as I let out a big breath of air.

Tag List:

@evyiione

@logan-deloss

@suchatinyinfinity

@strawberriewithchocolate-blog

@wangmangagavroche

@iamabeautifulperson18

@allknowingnerd

[lumafly]

Trying to design main character for Book1 and want to make her outfit extremely practical for travelling/sleeping outside in a desert while also being inspired by african/saharan cultures (Reef inspo is not 1:1, nothing specific, this is not Earth) and also keeping the theme post-apocalyptic so mixing hand-made textiles with futuristic aspects. Harder to redesign the human cast than I thought.

(For B1 human clothing context- nothing can be mass produced or automated but the fabric/materials/tools/etc are all there and are traded between towns easily. It leaves room to be completely personal per character since everything has to be made from scratch but does need to stay within the realms of 'this had to be made by hand by a living person' so it has to be efficient/practical in terms of how it is used and if it is worth making- ie no capes or flashy garments , but yes to hoods and scarfs because sand, and yes to small accessories because they wouldn't take as much time or resources)

[vertigoartgore]

2015's Uncanny X-Men #600 variant cover by Olivier Coipel (a big fan of the late 80's Outback era & Marc Silvestri's art style obviously).

[anyosu]

no bc im losing it

so in english it's "I never knew you were a hugger" which is incredibly painful and all that

and so I went to check out the norwegian dub for shits n giggles and to laugh at the voices and mf sonic says "I KNEW you were a hugger!"

I NEED TO BE SEDATED

edit 1:

edit 2: NEW LANGUAGES!!! IT GETS CUTER FOR EVERY FUCKING DUB

@dykedandelion: sonic in french says "ON A JAMAIS ÉTÉ AUSSI PROCHE" which means "WE'VE NEVER BEEN THIS CLOSE"

I checked the swedish dub and sonic says: "TÄNK ATT DU KAN VARA SÅ KRAMIG" which means something like "TO THINK THAT YOU CAN BE SO HUGGABLE"=!"=)!)"!=

@lephalacat courteously gave me a heart attack by giving the korean dub, where sonic says: "너한테 안기는 날이 오다니" which means "I CAN'T BELIEVE THE DAY ARRIVED FOR ME TO GET HUGGED BY YOU"

with the combined effort of @wackyunicornart and @dykedandelion they've expertly deduced what sonic says in the dutch dub: "I DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU WERE SUCH A CUDDLER" i need aIR

@shadowthehedgehog swooped in with a delicious spanish one where sonic says: "QUIEN DIRÍA QUE TE GUSTABA ABRAZAR" which is "WHO KNEW YOU LIKED TO HUG" I NEED TO SIT IN A CORNER AND CRY

@luankuro in Portuguese sonic says something akin to "DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE SO AFFECTIONATE/TENDER" THIS SEASON HAS RUINED ME

@tenebraevesper graciously handed over both the croatian dub and the german dub; both of them just as DEVASTATING - in croatian, sonic says: "I DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU LIKE TO HUG", and in german, he says: "I DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU'RE INTO HUGGING" THESE HEDGEHOGS ARE GONNA BE THE DEATH OF ME

I will join @kyri45 in their several several processing business days after the italian dub was revealed to have sonic say: "I DIDN'T SEE YOU AS SUCH AN AFFECTIONATE TYPE"

@polaris-reblog and from the left field we have an INCREDIBLE Thai dub with sonic that says: "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU'D BE THE TYPE TO CARRY/PICK PEOPLE UP" CAN I GET A WAHOO

@windpolygon comes in with an absolute gem in russian: "DO YOU LIKE/LOVE TO HUG" SO WHAT IF HE DOES

@transgender-battlekukku runs in with Brazilian Portuguese that has sonic say: "EU NÃO SABIA QUE VOCÊ ERA TÃO CARINHOSO" which they so lovingly translate to "I NEVER KNEW YOU WERE SO LOVING/AFFECTIONATE" FELLAS WE DIDN'T KNOW EITHER BEFORE TODAY

the polish version, given by @hereissananxiousmess, has sonic being a sMARTASS, saying: "AH SO YOU DO LIKE TO HUG" JESUS CHRIST THIS GETS CUTER EACH TIME

the Galician version has me by the tHROAT okay @shadowthtrash so in this version sonic says: "Nunca pensei que me foses levar no colo" which means "I'VE NEVER THOUGHT YOU WOULD CRADLE ME AROUND" OUEGHR that's so cute

@mmiriozuzo turkish dub and sub is sO sweet honestly bc in the dub he says: "Sarılmayı sevdiğini hiç bilmiyordum", which translates to "I NEVER KNEW YOU LIKED HUGGING" while the turkish sub writes: "Sen sarılmayı sever miydin?" which means "SO YOU LIKE HUGGING?"

@ash-doodles-stuff went for my soul by revealing what the japanese and hindi version says; in Japanese, sonic says: "TO BE HELD IN YOUR ARMS" SONIC PLEASE - in the hindi version he says: "DIDN'T KNOW YOU LIKED HUGS AND STUFF" OEURGH I'LL NEVER GET ENOUGH OF THESE

@sonicposting joins the bandwagon by announcing the romanian version has sonic saying: "n-am știut că-ți place în brațe", which means something like "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU LIKE BEING HELD" although "it's hard to translate, but the way it is phrased implies that sonic didn't know shadow likes being held" THESE DUBS WILL END ME ONE DAY

@cosmicgirlypop runs in with the Arabic dub, where sonic says: "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU LIKE HUGS!" this is the yEAR OF SONADOW PEOPLE BC SHADOW SAYS "STAY WITH ME SONIC" AS A RESPONSE

@geek-leak slides in with the Finnish dub that has sonic saying: "En tiennyt et oot halijäbä" which roughly translates to "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE A HUGGER-DUDE/HUG-DUDE" he truly is a smartass even when dying god bless

@indigocloudofnarcolepsy sprints in with a gem in hungarian, where sonic says: "Nem tudtam, hogy ölelkezős vagy!" which is "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU'RE A HUGGER" EVERY VARIANT IS SO CUTE

@scarlets-land-of-chaos-and-men NO EXPLANATION NEEDED BUT I NEED AIR

@darkmatters-ghost decided to decimate my every molecule with the Mandarin Chinese version where sonic says: "我不知道你喜欢抱抱， 啊。" bào (抱) means cuddle, and if you say a verb twice, it makes it informal and cutesy. Basically, he said, "aw, I didn't know you were such a cuddle-bug!"

C U D D L E B U G

suffice to say I think english is the glaring, obvious outlier here JHDJHDS

THE DUBBERS ATE AND LEFT NO CRUMBS BEHIND THIS IS TRULY THE YEAR OF SONADOW

[gg-pedro]

spin worlds - joel miller x reader oneshot

masterlist

summary: strings attached are easy enough to ignore when you're only trying to survive. when joel gets hurt, the world stops spinning, and you realize that you matter more to each other than you ever let yourselves believe.

warnings: 18+ MDNI, post outbreak!joel, boston!era, joel x reader, AFAB!reader, protective!joel, implied age gap, non-established relationship, set a few years before tlou hbo, hurt/comfort, non-gratuitous descriptions of a wound, hurt!joel, unprotected piv, fingering, end of the world sex, rough!joel, heavy on the petnames, drug/alcohol use, lots of feelings, its boston QZ joel so, angst with a happy ending, angst with fluff

words: 3.6k

a/n: is this what i really think the people want? maybe! is this what I want? absolutely yes!!!!!!!!!

-

Hundreds of nights spent with Joel since you’d been in Boston. Thousands of hours, words spoken to each other, yearning to stay in his arms longer and say more. 

The time you had with each other used to feel fleeting. Always after dark, sneaking around the QZ like you were teenagers together. It was a strictly private thing. It was almost like the two of you kept it a secret to feel a kind of thrill again, something from a past life, as if there was still right and wrong in the world and a little bit of something wrong was all you had left. 

That thrill wore off eventually, and you were with Joel for more than just the adrenaline hit. He made things more bearable and cut you deeper all at the same time. 

Flattened on his bed for yet another night, you got the feeling that something was bothering him. 

The sensation of cotton sheets was rough against your skin, acting as a futile means to abate the cold that was swirling through the apartment and raising the hairs on your arms. Your view was of his back, and the long, jagged scar that ran close to his spine. You reached your hand out to touch him and he flinched away.

“‘M goin’ out tomorrow. Without you,” he said, before you even had to ask. “Too many close calls lately.”

His voice was quiet and rough, sore from the dry air. You tried your luck at smoothing a hand across his shoulder, and this time he let himself lean into it.

“Doesn’t seem like that means you should go alone.” You pressed a kiss against his shoulder blade.

He turned his head to the side, not far enough to look you in the eye but far enough to confirm that you were there and not some twisted hallucination that he had dreamed up. “I’ll come back fine. I always do.”

Joel had this talent of convincing others that his word was his bond. He hardly had to try. When he spoke, it was like everyone sensed that they were in the presence of a kind of profit, and that he was privy to some knowledge or confidence that could keep people alive.

It didn’t help that he seemed to hold all of the knowledge in the world– knowledge about the important things. He could fix the leaky faucet in your bathroom blindfolded. Always knew what direction he was going in. Knew how to tie a million useless knots. Could look up to the night sky and point to Polaris like he was pointing to a map of Austin, showing you his old favorite diner that he went to every Saturday. I’ll come back fine. I always do. 

But Joel didn’t know anything. You’d been close enough to see that. He was just as frightened as you. But now more than ever, you wanted to trust him. Turn your back and fall, bet on the fact that he would stop the world from spinning to be there in time to catch you. 

Perhaps you were too easy, too willing to take what he gave. It was still heaven. Heaven, in a crumbling apartment building, sometimes with your restless mind placated by downers, draped across his silhouette. Sometimes you wondered, between the two of you, who deserved this life less. When you thought about it for too long, the answer was always Joel.

“Who are you meeting?”

He rubbed his palm against his forehead in slow circles. “One of my guys. Said he wasn’t gonna smuggle into the QZ anymore, son of a bitch.”

You only hummed in response, working your thumb into the knot in his shoulder. “And you trust him?”

“No.” He turned fully this time, his big hands roaming to the small of your waist and his lips to your jawline. “Sure as fuckin’ hell not enough to bring you out there this time.”

You grinned and smoothed his hair back off his forehead when he looked at you again. “Don’t have any faith in me, Miller?”

“You know that ain’t it, baby doll,” he whispered. “Don’t wanna take any chances with you.”

“Oh, yeah?” You laughed as he pulled you up onto his lap, looking deep in thought as he deliberated over where to plant kisses across your face and neck. “As if you’re ever careful with me.”

“I could be,” he said. “If you wanted.”

“Mmh, I don’t think I do.”

You looped your arms around his neck and he took your face fully into his hands. You felt almost engulfed as he kissed you. There was a fire blazing between you, and it felt like your clothes had melted away rather than been taken off with how quickly they disappeared. Your skin buzzed with desire, blood flowing to your most sensitive points. You felt limp like putty, lying in wait to be sculpted with the rough smearing of his hands across your body.

He was unrestrained in the way that he removed your roaming hands and pinned both arms above your head against the bed. “Y’think this isn’t gentle, princess? Yeah, let me show you rough.”

He split your legs apart, hand traveling to your warmed and wet entrance like a magnet. Three of his fingers were pumping short rhythms into you before you could even breathe, and your vision nearly went white. You writhed, helpless to the desperate moaning that was slipping past your lips until Joel pressed his hand against your mouth.

It all hurt so good. The sparking pleasure came and went so quickly with his movements that it felt like a continuous wave of ecstasy, even if he was stretching you close to your limit. 

He wouldn’t stop murmuring things in your ear throughout. “Think I’m gonna let you out there? Get you hurt? No, baby. I only hurt you ‘cause y’let me. Don’t you, hm? Can’t have you screaming, not with the neighbors.”

Despite his best efforts, he was only muffling the litany of sounds that you were producing as he finger fucked you raw.

After he could tell that he had brought you close to your tipping point, rough hands grabbed your waist and forced you to flip over. He pulled you up on your knees, and he turned your head to the side before forcing it down against the bed.

With one hand he fumbled with his belt, cursing in desperation as he struggled with it for a few moments. He went silent for a beat before white hot pleasure shot through your, and all you could hear was the rough slapping of your bare bodies connecting with each other. 

He was not gentle. It was clear that his pace and frequent position changes were to fulfill only his desires, and your own intense satisfaction was just a byproduct. You couldn’t complain. In fact, it would be foolish to complain. If this is what he was offering, then you would take all that he would give. 

He came quickly. He always did on nights like these, when you had given him some sort of permission to just use you for a while. You stared out to your left, looking for Orion in the cluster of stars outside his apartment’s window. You felt warm liquid spill into you and begin to drip onto your thighs as he continued thrusting. Tears blurred your vision as you followed suit, unraveling into a perfect little mess beneath him. 

“Knew you could take it, honey. You feel okay?”

“Mhm,” you said in a high-pitched tone, biting back tears as he sat you up.

He gathered your naked form into his arms and held you there for a while. He kissed the top of your head, and you wished you could’ve watched the starlight reflecting in his eyes for a little while longer.

“C’mon, I’ll get you cleaned up. Shower,” he said, more of a command than anything.

You followed his directions without responding. It wasn’t him that hurt you, not really. It wasn’t the vulnerability that stung you too deep. It was just the reminder that your relationship with Joel was far from merciful, cut from desperation and an utter decimation of the people you used to be. In another life, you knew that this wasn’t the way you could’ve loved each other.

After a luke-warm shower and a poor attempt of washing yourself clean of sin, you sat at the kitchen table in nothing but one of Joel’s denim flannels. Your hair was heavy and wet with water, leaving dark blue trails down the back of the button-up.

He smoothed an errant strand back from your forehead as he sat in the chair across from you, pouring whiskey from his decanter into two glasses. You suspected he had been drinking before you came over, but you never said anything.

You took a long drink before speaking. “When’re you planning on leaving?”

“Early.” You watched him pop a few white pills in his mouth and down the entirety of his glass. “Back before dark.”

“Could’ve just used water,” you mused. “Do you want me here when you get back?”

He looked over at you fully, that lazy smile and those sweltering brown eyes. “Hard times, darlin’. Hard times.” He removed his gaze to shake a couple more pills out of the cloudy plastic bag, leaning over the table to drop them next to your half-empty cup. “And yeah, I do. Stay.”

You stared blankly at what was in front of you, shaking your head. “Let me come, Joel.”

“You can’t negotiate with me on this. It’s a hard no.”

“Just don’t be an idiot. Please,” you bargained. “This doesn’t feel right.”

You watched him stand and walk over to you, resting a large hand on your upper back. “I’ll be back before dark,” he said again.

You looked up at him. “And if not?”

“I’ll be back.” He leaned down to kiss your temple. “I will be.”

You nodded. “I’ll be here.”

“Good,” he all but whispered. “Good, that’s all I want.”

-

True to his word, Joel was out early. 

Doubly true, with blood and sweat dripping from his hairline and into his eyes, Joel dragged himself forward as the sun set over the harbor.

November in Boston. Brutal, wintery wind whipped past his face and stung the open wounds that had been hashed into his skin. His vision swam, and he brought his sleeve up to his head again to try and stop some of the bleeding coming from the left side of his head.

You were right. Always right about nearly everything, you were. It was a trap. Maybe he could’ve taken the three guys that met him at the deal site if you had been there too, but he razed each one alone and hardly made it out alive.

You. He would’ve stopped a few miles ago if it weren’t for you. In the moment he could’ve cursed your name and damned you to hell for what you drove him to do. He could’ve sat on the curb, rested his aching back against that old lamppost with moss and flora to cushion his injured head. Shut his eyes and die already, a death that would’ve been so easy, one that he begged for a million times.

You. He stared up to the sky, praying to something that his directions were right as his eyes landed on the north star. A mile or two east, and he’d be at the QZ. His blurred vision made the light astigmatic, so he could only hope.

The pistol in his back pocket felt red hot as he stumbled eastward. The only force driving him forward was the thought of putting a bullet through the head of anyone that touched you.

This was his fault, afterall. He should’ve taken someone. Maybe it was your fault then, for mattering so much to him that nothing could bring him to put you in even the slightest bit of danger. No, none of it was your fault. Nothing was. You deserved a whole world that Joel couldn’t give you.

He’d get to you. He would.

-

Making good on his promise, you woke up cold in his empty bed.

You could’ve sworn you saw your own breath freeze in the air, through sunlight that shone through the infinite planes of the apartment. You reached a bare arm up towards the ceiling, trying to catch some of the warmth that it gave.

You had an entire day of work ahead of you, likely doing maintenance on the water system or making house calls to troubleshoot issues with the electricity. Life here had made you more useful and skilled than you had ever been before, and sometimes work felt like a welcome distraction. 

You got yourself up and dressed, picking up around his place before you made it out the door. The discarded pills on the kitchen table swirled down the sink along with yesterday morning’s coffee.

You knew how to take care of yourself more than he did. You weren’t sure why Joel fought you so hard on some things.

On the return trip to his apartment far past dinner time, you were smeared with dried sweat and soot. Your eyes passed the stars, and you repeated a silent prayer to yourself that Joel had already beat you home. 

Scaling the stairs to the third floor, you saw that fate had cruelly twisted your own wishes.

“... My fucking god, J– what happened? Hey, hey, look up at me, please–”

You were crouched before Joel’s slumped figure, barely aware enough to respond to your voice or your touch. His flannel shirt was torn, exposing a bloodied white undershirt rising and falling along with his rapid breathing.

He had a hand almost glued to this side of his head, stained with dried blood. He made a strained groaning noise as you pried it away to reveal a nasty gash to the area. You could’ve screamed yourself at the mere sight of the state he was in.

It was clear that he only had the strength to drag himself to his own front door because you had been idiotic to lock it before you’d left that morning. A stupid force of habit left over from a lifetime where locked doors and tidied apartments actually mattered. 

“Don’t… don’t, m’hurt, just…” his voice trailed off as his glassy gaze passed over your face. He was still trying to catalog you, ensure that you were still in one piece even while he was in stitches.

“I know, I know… you have to get up with me, Joel. Give me something here, fucking hell– on three, okay?”

You managed to get him to his feet as you jammed the key into the door and shoved it open. You were shouldering most of his body weight as you helped him to the first available chair at the kitchen table. Aside from his head, there was no other major injury to his body– it was mostly fine grazes and blossoming bruises on his chest and arms. You filled a glass with water and poured it over the wound on the left hemisphere of his head, trying to clear away some of the dried blood that had matted down his curls.

He writhed in his seat and you tried to soothe him with gentle words and touch as often as you could. It was deep, as if he’d been hit with something dull, but not deep enough to be fatal itself. You exhaled at that conclusion and begged to the ceiling that you were correct about it. 

You sterilized the area with whiskey poured onto a kitchen rag and bit your lip as Joel hissed and swore in response. You made him hold the cloth there as you scavenged the apartment for something, anything that could be considered proper to wrap the area with.

“Bad deal… it went bad, baby, I tried… thought they were gonna hurt you here…” he mumbled to you once you returned with a t-shirt you had begun to shred into ribbons.

“Hurt me? I’m fine, and god, you aren’t. I’m fine. Nobody’s gonna hurt me. Us,” you added quietly, slowly removing his hand from his head again.

“Mkay… ow, you’re killin’ me, darlin’, s’fine, you don’t gotta do all that,” he said weakly.

You said nothing as you tried wrapping the makeshift gauze tightly enough to still apply pressure around his head. Realistically, he needed stitches, or at the very least some sort of proper medical assessment. Curfew had already passed and doctors were few and far between to begin with, so you could only hope that this would be enough to stop the bleeding. Keep him awake and alive.

When you were finished, you slumped down in the chair next to him, your hand still gripping tightly onto his shoulder. “What’s your birthday?”

“Why’re you–”

“–Answer me, Joel, I swear to god–”

He squeezed your hand limply. “September 26th. It’s November now, ‘18, I think? What, you want me to say my ABC’s too, or…”

Your laugh cut him off, shaky and very nearly turning into a sob. “I hate you. I hate you so much, you know that? I told you not to be an idiot, and you…” your voice trailed off, and he took both of your hands into his.

“I know. Hate you too, baby… can’t believe you patched me up.”

You couldn’t believe it either, or the fact that he cared enough about you to drag himself from the city back to the QZ out of fear that whoever had hurt him was going to hurt you, too. If that wasn’t the closest thing to love you’d ever been shown, you didn’t know what was.

He slept very carefully in your arms for a few hours that night, after you had gently washed the rest of his body and cleaned some more of the noticeable wounds. You couldn’t sleep at all, kept awake by a compulsion to check the bleeding on his head and make sure that he was still breathing through all of it. 

Despite it all, the two of you didn’t feel fragile. Something unspoken was heavy in the air, something that said you both cared for each other so deeply that no circumstance could stop you from taking care of each other. Joel would do it for you, too. In the meantime, you were glad he didn’t have to.

-

In the morning Joel explained how he’d been jumped by his supplier and a few of his friends, and how he’d lost both the ammunition he was trading and the opiates and cigarettes. You thought that was a small price to pay for escaping with his life, but his stubbornness fought you on that point. 

You paid a sort of friend of yours– a former nurse– all of your ration cards from the last week to stitch up his head the following afternoon, much to Joel’s utter dismay and protest.

“It’s already done. I already paid,” you had told him, staring into his eyes with a hand cupped to his cheek. “Please just let him. Please.”

For you, your words said. For you, I would. 

He said nothing, but he sat for the few minutes of what must’ve white-knuckling pain to let the wound be sewn shut. I would, too, he echoed back. For you. You held his hand through it, even if that comfort was more for you than it was for him.

You forced him to just rest with you for the rest of the afternoon, hoping that the expired antibiotics you had been saving would nip the traces of the fever he had started to run. If that didn’t work, you promised him you would look for something that did.

Staring up at you in bed, he tucked your hair behind your ears and looked as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t. “You didn’t have to do all this, y’know. It was my own fault.”

“I did, though,” you replied as you smoothed your thumb across his cheek. “I  couldn’t do all of this without you.”

He cracked a smile. “Don’t flatter me just ‘cause I’m dyin’ over here. You’re better than me at ‘all of this’.”

You had hoped that your effort to keep him alive would’ve told him that you did in fact need him, almost more than anything, but in the moment it was fine. You would show him a million times over if that's what it took.

Instead, you rolled your eyes. “You aren’t dying. Don’t be an asshole. I do need you. How else would I spend my time if I didn’t have you to worry about?”

“Don’t know.” He grinned up at you. “You’d be a hell of a lot richer, I think. Not wasting all your rations on some old man.”

“Mmh, maybe, but I like to spoil you,” you said through a smile.

He pulled you down next to him with a soft c’mere, and you laughed as he tucked you in close to him and he buried his face in the space between your neck and shoulder. You could tell the wear on his body was making him achy when he tensed before having to let you go.

You smoothed his hair off his forehead, your fingers brushing against the clean bandages wrapped around his head. “I’ll run you a bath, if you want.”

He shut his eyes against the cool touch of your hand and nodded. “That’d be nice, honey. Real nice.”

That’s all he would ever have to say. Even less and you’d still do anything for him. He would never even have to ask.

-