#plus theres more stuff I have yet to even consider as well too!

[thebuttsmcgee]

now that I've washed the Ghost Gang, and then put them into the basket I put all my plushes,

I'm running outta space in that basket LMAO

like for years since I stopped getting plushes at a certain point due to many circumstances, it never really even got that close to the top.

But since last year when I first got the Luz plush and started getting them again, now I'm almost completely outta space for all of them lol

Feels good tho ✌️ :^]

Seriously tho I am running outta space for that.

[ganondoodle]

Since you said it's ok to send you random ask, i've always found your "monsters" design to be really really gorgeous, and I wanted to know : in any form of media you've interacted with, what's PEAK monster design for you ?

i have been thinking about this ask alot bc ... i dont ... know? theres a problem with what counts as a monster really too, most are either some sort of anthro/furry or the horror gore type of monster that instills you more with disgust than awe

i guess theres some i really like but idk if thats what id call 'peak' (though its rarely JUST the design but their vibe and stuff too);

(its a lot of zelda.. sorry)

Eldra, Farodra and Naydra (engl Dinraal, Farosh(?)) though Eldra is def my fav one of them, i like how they are a little more less typical dragon- with the fur around the neck the floppy ears and kinda goofy face yet manage to be the most ethereal, awe inspiring creature i have ever seen in a game with how they act and are presented as (in BOTW!!! do not mention anythign sonau/zonai with stupid magic pebbles to me about them i will manifest worms into your tea)

Leunen (Lynels) (botw) -i could not find a better picture wtf, fav are white and silver ones) FINE they had some pretty neat new horn designs in totk- idk i just like them alot, rather simple if you think about it, horse lion plus horns- but its so well put together it just kinda scratches my brain in a good way (also how intelligent they clearly are, like the way they fight and act and also even their death animation is so??? huh?? you are just gonna treat them like any other mindless monste- *remmbers they treat ganondorf even even worse all things considered* .. nevermind you're good)

'Beast' Ganondorf (twilight princess) its my favorite beast ganon design (even if it technically is just kinda a man boar .. again) though if ww gan had a non puppet beast form that one would most definitely be my fav lol (i will not get over the fact that some descriptions call this a hideous beast EXCUSE ME???? WHERE???) (honorable mention here, darkbest ganon from botw, pig on fire but it looks cool as fuck)

Nimbusgarde (ww) .. (engl .. darknuts?) do i need to say anything? (i could throw alot of ww design here) not sure if it counts as monster but they are not human so ????

the pathless bosses- (here in order, Cernos, the Godslayer, and Kumo) all of them are rad as hell (except for the final version of the godslayer ... liek im sorry but it looks to boring compared to any other one lol) again not just the design but man do i love them

since i dont know what would count as a monster or no i could just list my fav characters here bfmjbfmjsbmj like radahn (elden ring) is just kinda a zombie, aurelion sol (league of legends) is a space dragon, the forest god in princess mononoke, Narisha (skyward sword- sky whale)- i could go on but this post is long already (honorable mention to Omus in nausicäa, weird bugs but also something divine, though it is much more how they are treated and the vibe etc)

in all honesty though i cant think of one that i would describe as perfect, what i want of a monster design is to be ... cool but also a little weird, big hulking monsters that have something off about them and something that makes them 'other', but also not, as much as i like bloodborne, just bloody gory messes of rotting flesh, AND not just as a monster to kill, i just crave a game or otherwiese piece of media where the cool monsters arent just there for you to kill- the perfect one i guess would be something kinda big scary weird and off but while non verbal clearly not a mindless beast?

and here is the thing; my own characters do not furfill that, my designs are really rather conservative, much to my dismay, anthro of a mix of animals, maybe an extra arm thrown in- Eadrya, one of my favorites, is really just a blueish furry (yes they have fur) and their demon form is a mix of seals and catfish with some extra arms, too many teeth and a mouth that goas wayy to far (if they want) - Shargon is a feather dude with extra arms and his demon form is really just a chinese type dragon crossed with a bird, throw some darts at the color wheel, done

together with my problem of my monster characters losing their 'otherness' vibe within the story rather fast bc the majority of my characters are non human and speak and you see them in all sorts of emotions and parts of life- they lose that divine, unknown vibe and i HATE that that happens, i want them more akin to the forest god in mononoke but thats not possible unless i start from scratch

and i really dont mean to make myself look bad to sound self depre- ... however you spell that; i really am rather dissatisfied with my own designs but mostly just roll with what i got bc i never seem to be able to actually achieve what i want

even my redesigns often really make things LESS interesting (unless maybe the og was just ... human, but they are blue eyed with golden hair and white so that makes them divine you seE-), the skyward sword dragons as i redesigned them made them much more classical dragon, in part intentional bc i was drawing a connection of them becoming the botw dragons at some point, but by all means the canon design is much more weird and unusual than what i did with them, you could apply the same to even demise, his canon design might seem a little uninspired but really what did i do? inject him with some classic satan spice like that makes it in any way less stereotypical evil demon ??? lol

im sorry this post devolved into whatever this is but i really am trying to answer sincerely, i am confused about it myself, what counts as a monster, what doesnt, there must be more that i really loved but why cant i think of them, why do i design characters like this when i really want something much more different, i dont know, i feel like my brain is in a cage, why do i keep making things less interesting in an effort to make it interesting, am i falling into the corporate trap of cool sells who am i what am i doing

(theres a zelda artist with a style so strikingly genuis in shape, color and just .. DESIGN that i want to chew my nails off bc i cannot design like them, their designs and redesigns are so different yet sensical and so full of crisp shapes i have never seen before it drives me nuts and i would want to give them a shoutout but i think they dont like me so aaaaarhekjbfhgdknbgdfklbg)

[sillyandquiteawkward]

I'm super late to the party but did you watch the fallout show? And what are your thoughts? I have a few little ones like:

How well they portrayed the BOS as a militant cult

The prewar stuff. First 7 minutes of the pilot episode had me so on edge

The video-gamey hyperviolence was gross, sure, accurately translated from game to cinema

me and ray have watched about half of it and we mystery science theater-ed it the whole way and heckled the fuck out of it. needless to say, not a big fan.

but thats so funny the first prewar segment i was so pissed off. the bombs dropping immediately right next to them was written so stupid. just took out any grounding in reality and grace i had just immediately. really did set the tone for the whole thing that it would not be for me. like. i thought the sole survivor and the vault 111 people seeing and getting blasted (yet remaining perfectly fine) as they went down was stupid too. this was just ten times worse bc it was SO focused on. GAH

not even mentioning they branded the black main character on screen for no reason, named the enclave scientist directly after a real life holocaust survivor (to the point it muddies his google results) and then carried his decapitated head around as the macguffin (bc they invented a disgusting prosthetic leg to be so cruel that he killed himself over it. way to go honoring a holocaust concentration camp survivor???), the uncaring anti-recovery view on ghoul/drug recovery and weird parallels they tried to equivilate it to turning feral and drug addicts having a point of no return, plus more im sure bc we hadnt even finished the series? lots of people have written more in depth posts about the weird n bad shit the fallout tv show decided to do for some reason.

that said, i did really like in broad strokes how they were characterizing maximus and his relationship with the bos and how power and expectation and cycles of abuse corrupt. but i also havent seen how his arc ends. however the writers view that the wasteland is just a suffering machine i think fails to consider that fallout doesnt have to just be about lets blow each other up with nukes and kill each other for fun. functioning society exists in this post post apocalyptic world and theres plenty of interesting stories to be told about THAT.

i havent played classic fallouts yet but when i learned about the narrative repercussion of the original bloody mess trait, i think it fundamentally changed my view on how modern fallouts idea of gore and savagery for just the spectacle. without saying anything about it. fallout nowadays feels like it rings hollow, but the tv show tended to ring with like. really weird things to say that i wish it didnt.

anyway yeah.

[sixosix]

To approach ask length and my apologies… lkfhdh you created this monster and now you gotta deal with the consequences of your actions.

i wanted to keep this separate as a more focused thing as opposed to my other rambles. But as to how i think the potion stuff goes down…

Rosalie: no, unless T!Reader desperately wants her to.

T!Reader: Depending on how the interaction with father goes/any interferance, yes.

Rosalie I don’t see drinking it unless T!Reader wants her to, because I’d think she’d want to remember someone she considers her daughter, even if T!Reader doesn’t stay by her side. I’d think she would still cherish those memories and want to hold onto them, kinda like a parent looking back on memories rasing their kid when their kid is now living their own life and creating their own family. But I do think that if T!Reader does push hard enough, that she would drink the potion as to not put her child in distress in what could potentially be their final moments together.

As for T!Reader… something i’ve noticed but never really said rambling wise is that both her and lyney have that same intate urge to do anything for their family and loved ones. And right now, from T!Readers point of view, her only loved one (and family) is Rosalie. If she gets promised/convinced that Rosalie will be safe and left alone by the Fauti if she drinks the potion, I bet she would. Even if she no longer remembers her maman or the positive memories she has of the fauti, as long as Rosalie was safe I doubt she would care.

As for if she actually gets the chance to drink it or not… i’m honestly torn. On one hand, there is the chance that the trio + aether and paimon get their in time to stop her from drinking it and find another way. Which would be very cool and neat… But the potion is already the nice way out, as the hearth’s rule is with their life is the cost. 

Theres not really any nicer way to go around the hearth’s core rules, especially with the distraction t!reader is and the persistence lyney has. I’m sure Arlecchino knows that although her orders to leave t!reader alone may put lyney on a pause, it won’t last forever. I mean, the guy went straight to T!readers house with lynette’s help once their meeting with father was done. And although I haven’t done the story quest yet, I know enough to know that even with the traveler helping, they wouldn’t win unless father specifically let them. 

Plus, (and i had to go digging to find the exact words once i remembered it) i remembered something you said in one of my very first asks. Specifically art naosaki’s quote, "Reader needs to learn how to stay, and Lyney needs to learn how to let go". I can see the reader’s form of staying being finally confronting her past and taking the deal not for herself but for everyone else, while lyney’s form of letting go is letting go of the mc from before the potion. A bit more bittersweet, and again, i’m torn over it, but its just my thoughts! 

Also, I sent this at the same time as the fic since my theory influenced it a fair bit… so ye, back to the pit i go-

-deadman aether anon

- HI DEADMAN AETHER ANON u sent the fic first but i wanted to answer this one cus i got excited and wanted to treasure it…

- im very glad u got rosalie figured out tho!!! despite all the suspicion she received by everyone in the beginning, at the end of the day, she really just cares about mc and will always put her first! AND MC TOO!!!! top tier character analyzation 🙏🔥🔥

- I LIKE HOW U HAD TO SEARCH FOR THE QUOTE 😭😭😭 your interpretation of the quote deserves praise for fitting in the plot of the way things are going right now but i dont want to say anything in case i end up confirming or denying it HHAHA

- still, such a thoughtful and fun little read from you once again 😭🫶🫶 i have so much fun listening (reading???) your thoughts but now i got a wholeass fic from you as well?? oh i am so blessed truly U ARE A BLESSING TO MY ACC

[corvicarum]

@paramythas asked: gimme the ship bias for La Creatura (wuya), kayn and che'nya-

technically already answered here. but. some others id like to explore:

ortho ( besties,, lil pranking pals )

jade ( platonic )

malleus ( platonic )

rook ( buggs bunny & elmer fudd fr )

jamil ( one sided crush lets go )

not a ton. im rlly... rlly picky with kayn actually.

gwen/kayn: oh... oh mythe you already know. you've got me rlly in deep on these two okay. i love the aesthetic, i love the dynamic. especially what we have going right now for hearsteel. i definitely wanna dive into main canon at some point too, because i do think kayn would enjoy her personality a lot? idk, people tend to overlook gwen a lot or misunderstand her as a goody feelsy doll. girl legit runs around with a pair of giant scissors and jokes about cutting people into bits. like?

yone/kayn: this isn't even related to heartsteel tbh. i havent dove a TON into yone's lore but i do like the feeling of the pairing. i think kayn just pairs best with characters who are as ruthless as he is. i like them in their heartsteel au too though...

zoe/kayn: if i see anyone shipping these two romantically im going to strangle someone seriously. but these two as friends? oh my GOD fuck me UP! zoe is just a goofy, cosmic little kid- she's deeply terrifying sure, but! i think she could take the edge off for kayn a bit. plus her being the new aspect of twilight? hello?? theres way more chemistry with them as besties- and even found family. you know, instead of shipping kayn romantically with a fucking child. LOL.

chenya is kinda hard to ship with ngl. he's too carefree, too loosy goosy, and really is just out here doin whatever he wants.

idia/chenya: listen. come on. this is... this is a no brainer. seriously though i do love the potential here, and not just because he's a cat. chenya, at least how i write him anyway- is so whimsical and quirky. he isn't necessarily extroverted, but he isn't a big introvert either. like, he is genuinely a cat through and through. not a beast man, not a fae-- something else. i love the idea of idia having sb who doesn't push him to go way outside his comfort zone-- but wont let him just shut himself off from the rest of the world for too long. dunno. at least with my take on him, this one is a fave.

riddle/chenya: so i could really see these two going p much any direction. i love the two of them just... interacting, regardless of the relationship. chenya has known riddle since they were kids. and a bit like trey, i like to think he knows how to push riddle without him blowing up. there is also the added factor that chenya definitely knows at least in some way, what riddle's home life is like. it's the sort of thing that would make their potential bond that much better. i could rlly go in depth on it but then i'd be here making an entire meta on it lmao.

jade/chenya: funny enough. i think jade and chenya might click really well in long term, more than you'd expect. and yeah, i could see this developing from friends, to more given the appropriate amount of time. chenya would be sooo fascinated by how weird and how deeply fucked up jade actually is. and jade likewise would be really intrigued by chenya's strange and uncanny nature... good stuff.

others i've considered but not given a ton of thought to yet:

chenya/floyd

chenya/vil

chenya/trey

[neutrallyobsessed]

I challenge you to make a tier list of your opinion on Ace Attorney ships >;)

Challenge accepted motherfucker >;))))

i did like 5 different lists cause not all them where complete enough to my tastes and then i found this MASSIVE tier list (with a lot of crack xdd) so i was able to do it, fortunally the nrmy week gave me some time to work on this and EVEN THEN some kinda obvious ones were missing so i had to edit them in from the other tierlists, plus stuff i made up lol

also, for it not be too long and mark very clearly my Heterosexual Bias, the list was divided in two, so let's start: (spoilers for investigations cause shih-na doest appear as shih-na)

The OTP category is very self-explanitory, so the second place is all other ships that i like and ship too just not as hard since i have OTPs for the characters already~~

Ohters I like and Im listening have varying degrees of crack but im still considering as potential ships to like seriously

the canon ships acting as a neutral divider, they are canon, you can't complain about that (or you can im just a tumblr post you can do what you want forever). if they arent higher is cause they are not as interesting or funny as the above ships, i still love them very much

then theres the absolute crack that i find amusing but couldnt take to ship it seriously and then ships that are either boring: too tame, lack spice, feel like avoiding being problematic was the priority instead of they'd be cute togheter; or ships that feel a bit too cruel for comfort and i percieve as no longer fun, but sad

this tier list didnt have ema/nahyuta but did have poly ships that included the three so there we go, the only het ships i dont like (2)

finally, the only gay ships i consider to be neat, silly funny friends-to-lovers not overly popular, very cool and epic

And now, the interesting one:

Rangu referenced and teased by canon joke ship goes first of course!

for real tho, there's friends to lovers OR rarepairs OR lawyer x assistant ships, being my go-to in het ships they'd rank higher here

Evil People In Love! What else can I say? When 2 people are down bad for each other and down for destroying everyone and everything whether for revenge or the lulz cause they're bad and they're doing it togheter it's just beautiful~!

anything crack or toxic in a funny way goes next

incest as a neutral divider since being gay is super normal thus uninteresting but adding the taboo incest spice that will NEVER be approved by society IRL will make me a bit more interested but like you know- neutrally

any boring crack or toxic in a unfunny way goes next

and finally we reach my real (yet still neutral) beef with the ace attorney shipping fandom, being the popular ships that get talked about ad nauseum and if you wanna talk about any other ship you get ignored at best or harrassed at worst. Overrated could be the perfect way to describe this ships as they're so oftenly rated over other ships when they're SO LAME AND BLAND AND BRING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. i am not criticizing originality, you know im unoriginal as well, but other fandoms have this something called ✨VARIETY✨ that EVEN IF the boring bland m/m ship still is number one ship of everyone and their grandmas, it'll still be in a relative equal number of fans and content (or directly opposite where Super Popular Ship has like 100 fans producing stuff and literally anything else has like <5, so you only have to block 1 or maybe 2 Super Popular Ships and then is smooth sailing full of variety~)

tl;dr they're annOyedTPs actually they're not bad, they are meh plus the over exposure can really grind someone's gears, second place being not AS popular thus annoying but still pretty much talked about and liked by many people as they are second places to ships in the normie zone

and finally finally what i actually dislike, shipping canonically het married characters with same-sex characters (and not in the funny way)(specially the gay best friend in love with their straight friend, my absolute belothed) or any flavor of enemies-to-lovers, whether it's a tame rivals-to-lovers or a legit hero x villian (stockholm syndrome can be fine but it depends on how its presented....or if it's... y'know funny) or same-age shipping where the characters maturity levels are SO DRASTICALLY DIFFERENT idk it feels kinda icky :////

In any case, i'm still answering asks for particular ships if y'all want a more in depth opinion ^w^

[rabarta]

🏳️‍🌈 i do not even remember if i even sent you one of these. tell me about alhanelem :3

GOOD GOOD YOU HAVE ASKED THE ONE CHARACTER I HAVE EXTENSIVE SOURCE BACKED RESEARCH FOR he is gay demisexual and a trans man and let me explain why. youknow that post like 'the wisdom that only a post-menopausal man can provide' thats him.

okok jokes aside there is an important plot point where there's an impostor masquerading as alhanalem and she has king kolka placed under a spell and stuff. and the First thing al takes issue with other than the obvious fact that someone is pretending to be him is that shes a woman and the name alhanalem belongs to a man - the phrasing "belongs to" is important here, because names in yuke culture are unique and no two have the same name. again i say this scene makes a lot of sense if he's trans, of course it's upsetting to see someone pretending to be you and using your own name, but then using your past against you? fucked UP. (as an aside the lich is my favorite villain in the game but that's for another post)

AS FOR THE GAY + DEMISEXUAL HC i do think that he is attracted to men, he's flirted with by a shopkeeper and goes 'either i am having difficulties aural or your sales pitch is quite unusual' 😭 al doesn't really take to it well when the idea of him being with a woman is presented. when yuri and chelinka tease him about 'picking flowers' (gathering herbs) and assume it's for some girlfriend, he immediately changes the subject back to moogle plants and gets mad (more so than he usually does when the kids don't pay attention). theres also the dialogue he has with a yuke npc who was an engineer at rela cyel, who recognizes him as the king's royal mage and the head of the institute, and says he's been "waiting so long" to see him again... and al immediately shuts that down and says he's mistaking him for someone else, but that's just because he didn't want the kids to know about his past yet... in the new world after yuri and chelinka defeat galdes, where they haven't met al and meeth yet, al is actually seen talking to the same npc about rebuilding rela cyel together

i think given his general personality plus his previous (and current) responsibilities, it would take a lot of familiarity with someone else for him to experience romantic/sexual feelings... plus MAYBE a little bit of projection as someone who is considering the demisexual label

to end this off

(this is a real quote. taken a little bit out of context but it's still gay in context too.)

[monards]

YES!!!!! THE LOG THINGY!!!!!!!! YOU FIND IN "???" AFTER THE MIRRORS THINGY AND ORDO CHAIN!!!!!!!!

>> First of all. oh my god. the ambiguity around her identiy already sets up SEVERAL red flags; because most people sort of assumed 'oh!! rhine must've been doing stuff for the government, hence why she was likely able to pull the resources for the half the stuff and why celestia thought it was a big no-no' BUT NO!!!!!!!!!!! If she *were* to of been of any political importance other nations would've STILL remembered in some regard. its. kind of hard to forget about an alchemist who learned to bring life to the world through science. considering there hasn't been anyone (who isnt a god,) to have done that SINCE then!!!!!!!

>> This is also implies that, even centuries ago *WHEN* the ordo was in work; her work wasn't properly documented or well-kept?? obv one side of the coin is 'oh hoyo just wants to tease us and mention her ambiguously to give everybody heartattacks!!' but we're able to find records that go back FURTHER than that-- ITS SO OBVIOUSLY MORE!!!!!!!!! First assumption is 'woah. unknown god REALLY fucked up those records. huh' but the issue is that it DOESNT make sense for celestia to mess up those notes in the first place Even in Enkanomiya; 'Before Sun and Moon' (a FORBIDDEN book with knowledge of heart attacks and knowledge from istaroth herself!!!!!) is never properly confiscated by celestia. only that those who read it get. the Orobashi treatment. ^^ so. pray tell. why they'd care to eradicate some random ass khaneriahn alchemists notes (which, mind you were likely incomplete because she was studying matters that she would *not* have found out by the time of the cataclysm) that also, mind you, would be impossible for the average person to follow anyway, because it requires EXPLICIT study of Khemia (which seems to have been otherwise forgotten,) and a deep, deep understanding of alchemy (WHICH THE PEOPLE OF TEYVAT. DONT HAVE!!!!!! LOOK AT THE ALCHEMY QUEST WE JUST DID!!!!!!!!!!!!!) This then leaves the two ideas that 1. she was working completely under the radar from any khaneriahn government to prevent being found out, hence lack of proper documentation because really. theres only so much you can do on your own. / or 2. the khaneriah government was the one making sure these documents weren't properly documented ^^ and. not to be that person. but i am leaning a TAD towards 2 obviously i havent read the rind of nibelung yet (i will soon. i promise) but even just searching it up gives you the simple premise of it beginning with the dward, Alberich, stealing gold from the rhinemaidens. alberich. rhine maidens. do you catch my drift. it REALLY isn't a insane concept in human history for dynasties and rulers to take work and ideas from others. pass it off as there own. only to leave that other person to be obscured from history. this could ALSO explain rhine's clear bitterness!!! i mean. how would you feel if you were completely forgotten. while your work was still out there. ID BE PISSED TOO!!!!!!!!! plus. its not as if im trying to antagonize the alberich clan out of nowhere because (no offense) they already seem shady and. very messed up. already. just look at kaeyas dad himself!! mf what do you MEAN you left your son in mondstadt. let him have a family there. and are inevitably gonna make him choose between his family or khaneriah. THAT IS NOT WHAT PARENTS DO.???????????????///// IF THATS HOW YOURE TREATING YOUR CHILDREN HOWWW ARE YOU TREATING OTHERS??????????????//

theres more i should write and add. but i also need to work on theses rhine designs. so woe is me!!!! hope you enjoyed the insane braindump!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m actually so insane over the fact nobody ever talks about that note we found mentioning Rhine after the Ordo quest’s and mirror quests. WHY DOES NOBODY TALK ABOUT IT!!!!!!!! EUGEHHHH

[antiloreolympus]

8 Anti LO Asks

1. Nah but i agree tho, hermes and persephone in lo just have more chemistry and actual history/compatibility that she just doesnt have with hades, and the same can be said with hades and hera. its just wild the whole point of the comic is supposed to be about hxp and yet theyre so boring//illogical meanwhile decent writing goes into them being with other people.

2. LO is supposed to have modern values, yet the gods, or at least hades, are authoritarians? like the denizens of the underworld do not like him, so they have every right to question persephone and see if shes actually going to be a good queen to maybe make their lives better and not just someone to aide in hades' abuses of powers, and it's pointing towards the latter. how is this "progressive' if it promotes absolute monarchs are allowed to do whatever they want and face no consequences for it?

3. so much of what could have been interesting design symbolism is just gone. persephone and hades were dressed in white and black to look like a bride and groom? now every guy wears a black suit and the women all wear white, no matter the relationship. the red eyes are to symbolize persephone's inner darkness and feelings? theyre just slapped on at random now. her hair length lost all meaning. persephone isnt even a unique color anymore. any thought that was once there is just gone now.

4. good lord the person who interviewed rachel for that fancast is kissing her ass hard, arent they? people have been fancasting their stuff for years now, even when it's just for themselves, she's hardly the first or most important person to do so, esp when it comes with some, ahem, rather racist undertones. why are most if not the only people of color the villains or hypersexual compared to the pale and pure persephone? rachel please check your internalized biases here for a second, please.

5. Maybe it's unwarrented, but the non-greek names of some of the nymphs pisses me off to no end, and I'm not even Greek. They feel so out of place! Why does EVERYTHING have to be Americanized?!?!

6. the flying stuff persephone does also is such a dumb cop out? like one of the most iconic things in myth is the chariots and their animals, including demeter having flying snakes. plus shes not even unique in it either? like hermes flies, so does zeus and hades and im sure basically everyone else, so who cares? how is it a big deal if persephone does it? doesnt that also just make the powers of the gods less unqiue? like so whats so special about hermes then?

7. does anyone know why hxps first meeting was retconned tho? bc them meeting with cerberus is still something webtoons clings to advertise it yet thats not canon anymore bc they met way earlier with persephone being naked, him drunk, and her possibly being underage at the time too?? like theres so many dumb writing choices in this series but retconning the one iconic part in nearly 4 years of publishing for a creepy new version that just makes the series more confusing is so??? why???

8. Okay the shading on Persephones outfit with her pink skin tone makes the outfit look pink as Well.

Also lmao Hades outfit makes him look like a military dictator not a king. The tassels on the coat make it seem like hes going to war not to court.... Well I guess he is sorta declaring war on Zeus by not backing him and protecting Persephone - whos currently a "traitor to the triarchy".

(Also why is Persephone so Tiny next to him?? I can't be the only one who thinks she looks like a child?? Or young teen and not a young woman?)

Whyre people getting mad at Demeter? Shes a mom. She was worried about Persephone. And yeah, maybe the questions arent the "most pressing" but if I was Demeter I too would be wondering where my (basically) teen daughter was staying (with a friend or 40 yr old man who you barely know).

And considering Demeters insistence on whether Perse was with Hecate makes me think Hecate lied to Demeter - so shes likely covering Hades and Kore's asses because she knows its creepy and that if Demeter knew the truth she would (rightfully) freak out. (And I would also be concerned with why the underworld staff are referring to my daughter who I haven't seen in weeks as "my lady" and (I know she didnt hear this, but) why the king of the underworld is referring to Perse as "his wife" even mistakenly).

[bansheeoftheforest]

Uh, is there still an angst break? Ignore this ask until your ready if so 👉😎👉

-

What was the au where Jekylls pushed down the stairs and experiences a skull crackening again? Oh well but I've been thinking of a branch of that where Jekyll doesn't know hes dead like all day. I also cant remember if that was already discussed or not

The lodgers patch him up, he complains of a headache, and goes on his merry way! He's confused why all the lodgers are so nervous and being nice to him all of the sudden, why creature is looking at him with a stange mix of empathy and pity. He was told he fell down the stairs, fell unconscious, and obtained a bit of an injury. He cant fathom why Frankenstein is "The only doctor who can treat him" why he has to constantly go to her for checkups. Why Maijabi is suddenly following him practically everywhere.

Hyde squeezes back control for a moment and tries the potion but it doesn't work. Maybe a bit of pain but certainly no transformation. Jekyll assumes his injury or whatever medication they're giving him to treat it somehow negated the effects

Jekyll complains about "suddenly blacking out" the lodgers know its because his soul is slippery. They tell him it must just be a side effect of the injury and not to worry

How long can they keep it secret from him? When does he find out? Does he? Does it get to be years only for him to realize that he hasn't aged? That he still needs checkups from Frankenstein? Does he learn sooner? Does a lodger crack and say it? Does he rot? Does he notice how so very cold he is. How animals act around him? It's all very interesting,,

-

I actually did think a bit of Jekyll's kidnappers for the amnesia kidnapping au! When drawing that lil sketch of Henry and O'Leary meeting Robert I had considered making it so O'Leary was suspicious of Lanyon like "Oh theres no news anywhere of someone matching Thomas' description who's missing. But some random people walk up claiming to know him? Begging to take him back with them?" And he'd think they were the kidnappers. But ultimately I decided against it as I felt Lanyon and Rachel were pretty clearly, genuinely concerned for "Thomas" :p

-

I tried playing assassins creed once, the first(?) one. But the controls were confusing and everything was sorta thrown all at me at once, and I got bored of it quickly

But! I went to the store the other day and just so happened to notice Syndicate was being sold for 15 dollars 👀 So I bought it because funky Victorian assassins and your influence! It's a bit less confusing then the first ac game I tried but why is going down or dropping so hard bdksnks. I'm having quite a bit of fun! If you dont count my rage and annoyance-, the B button refuses to cooperate with me unless I'm looting corpses >:(

The b button being the bane of my existence aside, I AM having fun! I like the funky outfits and I want to play as the girl twin (evie?) forever because her clothes are good and shes better at attacking than jacob(?) For some reason. Probably the stun her weapon has? Oh well! I have not unlocked any new outfits yet, nonetheless I wish there were more.

Also! I was thimking, and my current quests are taking place at 1868? Did I get that right? And Jekyll is like 35 in 1885. So in game he'd be 18! An au like I believe you mentioned sounds very interesting 👀 but I must play more to know what's going on and daydream about it

That would be the resurrection au <3

But god, I really like that branch! Especially combined with the hc that he can't feel pain bc the HJ7 and the transformations made him immune. Frankenstein patched him up and made fleshweaver to heal the crack in his skull but it still has to be bandaged, he surely broke a few bones, yet all he has to do is to be careful because it doesn't even hurt. He doesn't even realize how severe the injuries are because it doesn't hurt, it very well might just have been that he accidentally slipped at the bottom of the staircase and accidentally hit his head on the railing during his fall, rather than getting physically pushed and flying down the stairs, shattering his skull upon impact with the marble floor. Y'know what would be extra fun? If he only starts getting a bit suspicious about how severe the injury was once he realizes his lungs stop breathing for minutes at a time when he gets distracted, or his heartbeat stops dead in his chest. I know that that's not how biology or even creature works but lets say the HJ7 is funky, Zombie Jekyll my beloved. Perhaps he would only fully grasp what had happened once he blacked out too much and 'passed out', but his soul slipped out enough to leave his body unconscious on the floor while his soul/ghost was just... Watching. And it's not until Maijabi (who, as you said, follows him everywhere) immediately calls for more Lodgers saying that Henry's soul is getting unstable and Frankenstein's lousy job is starting to shine through that he fully understands that it was not a mere hit to the head. Or maybe it is when days, weeks, maybe months has passed and the headache never goes away, he only feels how his body starts feeling so much more... Fragile and delicate, that the guilt has eaten Helsby up alive and he corners him and spills everything, knowing he is going directly against what the group agreed to but not being able to keep it a secret much longer-- or maybe Creature would tell him immediately, once Henry is, for once, alone perhaps days after the initial accident. He cannot see Henry struggle to understand what is going on when he already knows what's happening to Henry, his mind, and his body. He doesn't listen to the plan that Frankenstein and the Lodgers has set up and immediately tells Henry the first moment they are alone. That would certainly be horrifying, I can only imagine how the Lodgers would find Henry after that, once he actually knows and manages to process everything. He would be so mad, not only to have been killed in the first place, but also because he was robbed of an afterlife because the Lodgers were selfish and could not accept the consequences of their actions. He would be mad, he would be so pissed and I have no doubt he might actually be mad at Maijabi too for even agreeing to help Frankenstein and the rest of the Lodgers. That anger would not stay long, though. That anger would soon turn into misery and sadness and paranoia so even as Henry has tried to push Maijabi away, Henry still ends up on his doorstep begging him to help him make sure he is not rotting, because no matter what anyone says, he is sure he can see rotten spots and patches on his skin and he is just so scared and jdhfjsdfdsfsfs... <3

--

Ooooooohhh, I was actually daydreaming about this just this morning! Granted, I woke up at 5 and began to daydream to fall asleep quicker but I still like the thought of O'Leary being suspicious of Robert/Rachel/Jasper/the Lodgers bc he is protective of 'Thomas' and doesn't want anything bad to happen to him and especially with the idea that Henry still has hallucinations and they both think he was abandoned by his family, left to rot at a mental asylum. O'Leary might very well think that it might be Henry's friends and family that dumped him that Henry had 'escaped' the hospital and that's why they knew he was missing since the Asylum itself obviously wouldn't have posted the news... I really liked Jeks idea, okay? Like a lot, I absolutely love it <3

--

Oh, the oldest AC game I played was Unity bc it was free after the Notre Dame fire, and I can confirm, I played 15 min and could not get through it even if i would have wanted to, it absolutely sucks so i have no doubt the older games are just as frustrating <3

BUT!!!! I'M SO GLAD MY CORRUPTION IS SPREADING AND YOU BOUGHT AND PLAYED IT AND ARE ENJOYING IT SO FAR!!! Trust me, Syndicate truly is an absolutely amazing game and is definitely one of my top 3 games of all time. I sometimes play it w my friend watching me play and trust me, I know that rage of trying to do smt but the character does smt else... or you try to do smt but the game doesn't react and you miss your chance... Oh well, still a wonderful game <3

My friend loves to play as Evie as well but I'm definitely playing Jacob every chance I get and I honestly get a lil pissy when I have to play as Evie bc I always prefer to play male characters, plus, I just like Jacob better bc he is a sweetheart. He is also canonically bisexual as hell!!! Have you met Abberline yet? The police officer? Him and Jacob together is one of my fave ships for the game. I also bought the ultimate/golden/whatever name it was edition so I had a bunch of extra outfits, I love the sherlock holmes outfit for Jacob but my friend keeps bullying me for it </3

Honestly? The time difference is the bane of my entire idea for the au bc if it's during their time Henry hasn't even graduated yet, and definitely not well-known enough for them to actively meet for whatever reason, and if you use the timeline for the jack the ripper dlc (in 1888) a lot of... Less than pleasant things happen so it wouldn't really make a lot of sense for a crossover to happen at that point but maybe it's just bc im a pussy and refuse to play the dlc. Rn, while imagining the au, I just imagine the 1868 timeline to be the same as the TGS timeline. I like to imagine the Frye Twins hearing about Henry and the Society and promptly breaking into his office to ask him to make poison and stuff for them. I also have a feeling that Jacob would flirt wildly with Henry and that Henry would be less-than-amused. It would also be a very fun thing with the fact that there would be two Henrys, with TGS Henry Jekyll and AC Syndicate Henry Green, soo... XD

[neitherever-nornever-goodbye]

Number Five Fic Recs

I have spent days reading Five fics since season 2 aired, so I decided that I might as well start jotting them all down for anyone’s interested. It’s a long list, here we go xD

Completed

1.  Blood and Steel by @e-vasong, T, 6900 words

Diego gets shot. Five is evasive. There is a bit of an emotional reckoning, and neither of them are even vaguely equipped for it.

2.  Carry Him by ClaraCivry (Kat_Of_Dresden), not rated, 2422 words

`Five times Five's siblings carried him, took his weight.

Some hurt Five, some fluff, but mostly Hargreeves being worried and looking after him.

3.  Small Changes by calypso42, T, 3509 words

“I need to ask you something.” He set down the large stack of books he was carrying beside him. Klaus glanced at a few of the titles - Consciousness in the Brain - Memory & the Role of the Hippocampus - Soul vs. Matter: A Comprehensive Look at the Origins of Sentience - and grimaced.

“Are you… having an existential crisis, or something? Because I am possibly the worst person you could go to for that.”

...

When Five goes to Klaus to ask him something about his powers, Klaus doesn’t think much of it. At least, until he realizes that what he thought was simple curiosity was actually deeper than that, leading to a revelation about Five himself.

4.  Strike A Violent Pose by @ford-ye-fiji, T, 1268 words

And here he was, limping along with a twisted ankle, going to save his siblings from certain doom yet again.

5.  You are not alone by my_monster_are_real, T, 4259 words

Five doesn't like to be taken care of, but Allison doesn't care.

6.  They Could Care Less (as long as someone’ll bleed) by @ford-ye-fiji, M, 2835 words

Number Five is cornered once again by commission agents, but this time with his family.

-

Diego and Klaus learn something about their littlest-oldest brother.

7. Didn’t Give Me Time to Say Goodbye by rookflight, Gen, 1769 words

After dealing with the second apocalypse, Five takes time to think about everything that’s happened. Klaus seizes the opportunity for some quality sibling bonding.

8.  With Two Arms by karcheri, T, 3345 words

What it comes down to, really, is that Five had been too eager for results. Once it became clear to him that there was a connection between his powers and his energy level the obvious course of action, as he saw it, was to test this information. The hypothesis was this: higher energy levels = stronger powers and the easiest way to get more energy is to eat more. Pretty simple stuff. Too simple.

or Five times that Five starves himself and one time that he gets called out on it.

9.  Number Five The Monster Under The Bed by Kraeyola, T, 5460 words

It's easy to forget sometimes when you look at Five; small lanky body, little boy-scout shorts, and a perfectly pristine uniform. A smooth youthful face that's always wearing a too-serious expression for someone (supposedly) so young. Not that the siblings don't respect Five as an equal, it's just... well. It's hard to take him so seriously. Especially when he gets mad and makes such an adorable pouty face.

It's why they find it so difficult to deal with reconciling Five to the boy they (thought they) knew, to the boy they're seeing standing right in front of them. But you can't really blame them, can you?

After all, it's hard to believe things without witnessing them first hand.

There is a monster under the bed and it's in the shape of a thirteen-year-old boy.

10.  Nonlinear theory for dummies by Inkjade, Gen, 4786 words

After forty-five years of fighting, it's kind of hard to know how to stop.

11.  Vital Signs by aye_of_newt, M, 3524 words

Sometimes, it's difficult for Klaus to tell if someone is alive or dead.

When Five shows up, covered in blood after killing the Board, Klaus panics.

12.  Not with me by Claracivry (Kat_Of_Dresden) Gen, 5681 words

They never asked if any of that blood was his.

Five is bleeding, and he is also giving up.

AU to 2X07, with hurt Five because after all that boy has been through...

13.  Nothing’s Going on (and that’s the problem) by briegretful, T, 5231 words

(Directly after the season 2 ending, except everything's normal and everyone's still around) He did it. Five saved his family. They landed in 2019 and everything, somehow, worked out.

He's not sure how to deal with that.

or

Five struggles to deal with not having an apocalypse to stop, and his family tries to help him.

14.  A New Life by BirdInTheCave, T, 3884 words

Allison had convinced Ray to come back to 2019 with her and her family and after a month of being cooped up in the house with the other Hargreeves plus their own unconventional guests, Ray suggests they spend some time alone. He's still struggling to fully comprehend the new world he's stepped into but he's determined that with Allison at his side he can get used to anything. Allison can't find a reason to say no. She should have said no.

Luckily for her, Five will always be there for his family, now that he's back.

15. Side Effects May Vary by CivilBores, T, 6565 words

Allison crosses her arms. “Five,” she says firmly, “when was the last time you slept?”

“I don’t know,” Five says honestly. At Allison’s expression, he quickly adds, “But it doesn’t matter. I don’t know what it’ll take for all of you pea-brained idiots to realize that.”

“We may not be as intelligent as you, Five,” Allison says, “but at least all of us are smart enough to know how to take care of ourselves.”

OR

A week after the world is saved, Five convinces himself that he is still experiencing lingering side effects of paradox psychosis. His family has something to say about that.

16. The Walls Kept Tumbling Down by @ingu, T, 64888 words, 8 chapters

It started small.

There was a nagging ache in his chest, phantom pain from where the bullets had pierced his flesh, in the overwritten timeline that never will be.

(the one where rewinding time doesn't miraculously resolve mortal gunshot wounds)

17. Stay by maddienole, T, 6027 words

Five had saved his life once, many months ago. Maybe it was time for Klaus to return the favor.

18. Growing Pains by kakashi_mole, Not rated, 10520 words, Fiveya (personal fave, angst too much)

Number Five remembers his first kiss

Notes:    

Takes place after Season Two. A Five-centric fic. Some teenagers get growing pains, some don’t, but the last “cycles” of pain usually occur around age 13.

19. Another Cog in Murder Machine by @ford-ye-fiji​, T, 2463 words

Five finally gets the breakdown he deserves 

20. Sorrows Like Thunder Clouds by Emotionally_Detached (Yeah_Toast), T, 6953 words

He makes it. He time travels and makes it through another apocalypse.

He makes it, but his siblings don't.His siblings don't make it, except he's in his own childhood and they're still here, alive and thirteen and he can fix things.

He will fix things

On Going

1. “I’m Too Tired” by beastboy12, T, Chapters 2/?

A slight re-telling of the barn scene. Five manages to save his siblings, but at what cost?

In which the author takes a throw-away line in season 2 and runs with it.

2.  And We All Turn To Ash by @golden-redhead, Gen, Chapters 1/?

Seconds, not decades. 

The blue glow pulsed between his fingers and he pulled at the familiarity of the feeling, pulling until time and space bent under his touch, parting as he struggled to squeeze himself through just enough to jump and change the course of history. 

The energy, familiar but somehow different, courses through his body and then he moves, for a few precious seconds existing within the time and yet outside of it. 

-

a.k.a. Five is so, so close to getting them back home and making things right. And then he isn't.

3. Tangled in The Hanging Tree by TiredPigeon (TwistedSkys), T, Chapters 2/?

The timeline is still messed up, obviously. There is still so much work to do, still so much to fix. His siblings have questions and concerns, and they want answers.

Five just wants his nose to stop bleeding.

(Post-season 2, but I have no plans to speculate on season 3, so consider this fluff.)

Five is tired, his family is starting to notice.

 Thats all for now!

@tomatojuicem apologies for making you wait ;)

Lmk if theres something wrong with the link Notes: All these fics posted after season 2 aired, but not neccessary related to season 2

[masterhandss]

‘My Next Life as A Villainess’ Anime is over...

SO WHAT NOW???

A lot of us are disappointed that Katarina’s adventures are finally over, and a lot of us are gonna miss watching the wacky hi-jinks of our dense villainess. I’ve seen a lot of people say that they will stop posting or paying attention to hamefura after the anime ends, and while I might be the same to some extent, I just want to say that there are still a lot of hamefura things to look forward to after the anime ends!

These are actually some very obvious things to look forward to, but you know I’d still like to share them so you can use them to fill the hole in your heart that the anime left behind.

-------

Edit: (9/30/20) I added stuff, as well as a cut for all yall who says my posts are too long qwq

The Manga

Hamefura still has an on-going manga that is currently in Chapter 3 of the Light Novels! A lot of you already read it, and understand that it can get frustrating when there’s a lack of updates on the english side of things, but if you’re really curious, you can go over and check out the JP releases every month so you can have an idea of whats to come for the manga :DD (The fan translation of ENG Chapter 26 came out a few days ago so you know it’s not dead!!)

I’d recommend reading the english translation on Mangadex, since most translation groups officially upload their translation on there. 

The Spin-off (Hametsuo/Bakarina Alter)

It deserves it’s own category for just how unique it is in terms of its reception in the western crowd. I know a lot of people probably read it, but I guess people barely talk about because it’s not really that far into it’s premise yet. 

I just can’t stop recommending this manga to people (despite not going where I thought it’d be) because of how good the art-style is and how much promise it has. It updates monthly, which I know is a long wait, but it does pay off when you see the quality of everything. Plus it’s just fun to imagine how hamefura would go if it followed the typical “villainess otome isekai” format.

I actually love talking about hametsuo, so maybe my posts are woth the look ;; w ;;

The Light Novels

credits to @sparckle-art​ for the scans!

I’m happy to read that a lot of people are gonna go switch and buy the light novels after the anime ends! By the time the anime ends, the Vol. 6 of the LN would release a week later, acting kind of like a replacement of what is supposed to be a new episode for that week.

The fan-translated version of the web novel is available online, up until half of Vol. 4, but I still recommend buying the books on bookwalker (i don’t know if the sale is still there, but I’d recommend picking up the book regardless!). If reading the fan translation piqued your interest, then playing for the books would definitely worth your money if you ask me! 

An increase of sales might show them that there’s interest for this light novel, and might make them translate the JP novels even faster! (or maybe i’m just too impatient to wait 2-3 months for Volume 7 dshfjsfgs who knows?)

My only warning is that the tone really does shift post-arc 1 (Fortune Lover I) so if you’re looking for harem hijinks, from spoilers I’ve seen I think there would less of that and more of world building. (ps. please stop asking me where to read it ;;-;;)

Edit: Volume 8 is coming out in a few months, with Volume 9 probably being released at either Jan or Feb next year, then after that it’ll be a yearly update

StoryMe Otome Game

credit to the hamefura reddit discord for the screenshots!

I’m surprised a lot of people doesn’t know about the StoryMe game, despite it updating every week alongside the anime. Just kidding I didn’t either lol, I actually found about this thanks to the hamefura reddit discord server! StoryMe is a choose-your-own-adventure otome game, kind of like those “Episodes” or “Chapters” game that gets recommended on Youtube a lot. 

It’s still in japanese, which is probably why not a lot of people knows of it yet, but it seems like you can play as Katarina and romance anyone from the entire harem (yes, the girls too), so keep you eyes peeled for if ever it gets an english translation!

It’s basically the bluray Fortune Lover game with the DVDs, but instead of Maria, you actually get to play as Katarina!

(I’ll make a separate post for this later, maybe)

Edit: The game just came out in English in September 16, and just spat out a 11-episode update at September 30

tldr: go play it, it has 19 episodes out right now

Katarina’s Farm

It’s a newly announced mobile game with a web trial version that centers around playing as Katarina, trying to earn money and points for expanding your farm land, planting more expensive plants and getting the other members of the harem to join you! It’s a 2D pixel game that seems like it wouldnt take too much time to play (you can get the first 4 characters within 30 minutes of gameplay, but that might be adjusted in the mobile version) so I understand if it might not interest some people, but that’s still something to look forward to!

I made another post about it so check out the link to the web version here!

The Bluray Otome Game

While I can’t say this for certain, but maybe if there was ever an official english bluray release, it might include the Fortune Lover Male Capture Target Routes that are included in the game. Maybe someone will play it and translate it even! It would interesting to see how different the boys are, and give us further appreciation for Katarina’s influence and changes!

There’s a preview for a CG in Keith’s Route, which comes with the second bluray (no pv for Geordo ;; w ;;)

Edit: All the boy’s routes are out in Japanese

We don’t know if they’ll ever be released in English though, so hopefully someone translates them at least ;;w;;

The Manga and Yuri Anthology

Missing the hilarious and heartwarming antics of Katarina and her harem? Then you should check out the Manga Anthology (that has just been been translated in its entirety). It’s 14 chapters of absolute hilarity!

There’s also a Yuri Anthology, featuring the 4 girls of the harem! If you’re looking for more of that then, it’s an absolute recommendation!

Spin-off Visual Novel

Edit: They recently just announced a spinoff visual novel! It takes place after the Fortune Lover 1 Arc and features sexy pirates hgsjhgsdf

It’s just recently announced so there’s not a lot of info besides the company making it (it’s Otomate) and the fact that it’s gonna be an all new Bakarina adventure uwu

Bakarina Radio

I heard there’s a Bakarina Radio too, featurning the VAs of the anime cast. 

I don’t know if its a regular thing or a one time thing, but its still worth checkin out!

https//twitter.com/hamehura/status/1309831738525278209

The Second Season of the Anime

I seriously wasn’t expecting another season, considering how different the next arc is, but I’m happy nonetheless for more Bakarina! I hope this motivates the fans to continue supporting the series, as a bigger reaction will definitely lead to more content for us to enjoy! I have a theory about S2, which I think is worth the read :3c

Other Otome Isekais

There’s a lot of other Villainess Otome Isekai’s that are worth the read, and a lot of them as just as interesting as hamefura, despite the lack of a harem (from deep rooted revenge to hilarious and crazy villainess, there’s a lot!) The quickest recommendation I can give is just looking up “Akuyaku” and “Villainess” on Mangadex (do both btw they dont have the same results), but theres a lot that doesn’t get recommended so do your research! I swear it’s worth your time!

Anyways, I hope any of these fill the hole that the hamefura anime will leave in our hearts as we wait for season 2! (sorry for repeating the same line again hdsfgdjhsfg) Feel free to add anything like fanfic recommendations and artists, as I can’t cover everything on my own, as those really help provide hamefura fans with content :DD

[botwstoriesandsuch]

Sidequests are part of the story so it’s still my ballpark shut up it’s time for

Read Part 1 here!

Part 2 || Part 3

If you’re on mobile, and tumblr hates this post, follow along on this google doc!

Rules/overview this rewrite in the beginning of Part 1

- - - - - - - - - - 

Side quests, side quests, side quests. What are they? And what are they doing here, on an Age of Calamity rewrite? I must admit, game design is not an inherent forte of mine, and I like to think that my only “expertise” would be on writing and storytelling. So what the fuck is a fool like me doing here

Well my dear ladies, lads, and gentlefolk, if your memory does serve, I did say that the format of Age of Calamity was one that served the major plot and story beats for it’s cutscenes, and its worldbuilding and good parts of it’s character development for its gameplay and side quests. It’s actually a concept that can be seen in shows and movies too, although obviously it’s origins are in TTRPGs and videogames. Definition wise, a side quest is any deviation from the main story and plot that serves to flesh out an optional/overseen aspect of the game. So there’s out perfect outlet for worldbuilding, characters, and even a bit of humour. Side quests, by definition, can’t simply be just XP grinders, because otherwise you could…..just make an XP grinder. It’s like saying you’re getting your kids a bike, but then you get them a stationary exercise one. Sure it’s functionally the same and gives the same benefits, but it could be so much more. 

Does Age of Calamity have good side quests? I’d actually argue, yes. I mean sure, it’s not exactly gonna hold a candle to Fallout or Witcher 3, but there are great memorable side quests that do serve their purposes in this game. 

A fan favourite is “The So-Called Knight,” in which Link spars Mipha, Teba, Sidon, and Revali, a conflict of the Sidon’s confidence and belief in Link, with Revali’s skepticism and grudge against him. Not only is it great fandom content, but it explores the carrying POVs of several characters in a fun way. We also have Hestu’s Dance Competition, and the Miss Vai Battle Pageant. What they lack in serious character tone, they make up for in humour and world building. Even the quests that have nothing to do with the main cast of characters, like the Questionable Escort Mission, still provide funny and interesting details about the world, like how the Yiga Clan is still ever persistent in trying to take down Link with monsters and Windcleavers alike. 

It’s not like those side quests were functionally useless either, all of them still provided great amounts of exp and materials. What specifically made them great and memorable was their small little stories and character/world details. Of course, that’s not to say you can’t have the occasional plotless boss rush every now and again, those are fun in their own right and it’s good to have variety. But just thinking about it...what were everyone’s least favourite sidequests? The timed Yiga Escape?  The ones where you sit around defending strongholds? The one hit death Hair-Width Trials? Ah...so all the least enjoyable side quests were the ones that were difficult, with no enjoyable character or worldbuilding to back it up….interesting interesting….interesting pattern indeed. 

So, let’s improve the game a bit further. I do need to pace out my future character arcs somehow. I tried to make use of the existing quests where I could, but it’s just eaaaasier to just not think about it and do it from scratch. Just shove these in place of all those quests whose only description is “monsters have been spotted here! Take Mipha and go to work!” and stuff like that. Alrighty then! Here’s my take on cool side quests for every single character thus far, along with their paired gambit attacks. Prepare for heists! Drama! Simping! And Bananas!

Link: Mastering Stasis

Ok I have no idea when this quest unlocks so just for my purposes assume this only becomes available after Link pulls the Master Sword. 

Engage the hordes of monsters that have been spotted in Hyrule Field. Now is a great time to master the use of the Stasis Rune. Impa and Zelda accompany you, but it seems stasised monsters aren’t the only thing coming to a tense standstill…

This isn’t anything that special, I just want to further highlight this tension that Zelda and Link have, as it’s something touched upon in Botw, but never really mentioned or used ever in Hwaoc. Now more than ever, Zelda has an excuse to have a rocky relationship with him because she could actively see just how far he’s coming in such a short amount of time. Classic “he probably hates me so I guess I’ll hate him” thing.

You play as Link, the game gives you your little prompts on how to use Stasis, you take out a few hordes of Bokoblins and blah blah blah. I wanted to use an earlier level to establish Zelda’s relationship sooner as obviously it’s gonna be important to the story. But of course like all side quests it won’t kill you to skip out. Text dialogue can be Zelda saying science shit like “This will be a good opportunity to test out the full limits of the Stasis rune” and then Impa’s all “Yep! We got your back, Princess! We’ll clear out these monsters in no time.”Then Link the little angsty shit that he is says nothing, and as you play you clear out more and more bokoblins Zelda just says “...” and then we can toss in a Moblin or two in there for gambit voice stuff.  

Gambit dialogue with Impa would be supportive, her usual spunky dialogue. I had two ideas for Gambit attacks with Link: One where Impa does that thing where she cuts a giant laser through the air, but it’s aimed towards Link and he parries it right in a monster’s FACE because I think it’s badass and also a good way to show trust and stuff. The second thing was Impa’s giant bomb barrels, but Link is the one to somehow ignite them, because he is an arsonist after all. He can even have a chaotic Sheikah blue glint in his eyes like blue flame, I can already picture it so clearly given how anime/dramatic Impa’s movements are. Impa sets bombs, Link *teleports behind Moblin* nothin personal, kid. 

Also right at the end of their gambit attacks, Impa and Link should try to fist bump or something (cause the whole “cool guys don’t look at explosions” thing that Impa usually does on her own) but are interrupted by eggbot jumping up to try and join in. And then Impa can be annoyed and try to punt it or something. That’s not just self-indulgent that’s in her character she totally would and I want to make use of the fact that eggbot travels around with Link. The success of her attempts to punt him can vary.

If Link does a gambit with Zelda, her dialogue can just be her usual monotone Princess stuff, “Thanks for lending your strength,” or “There is still much more to do!” just purely professional, we’re not at a stage yet where she’s buddy buddy with Link. Their gambit attacks can still be cool though. One idea I had was Zelda using stasis, and you know how when you use it in botw everything lights up with that sonar effect? So Link stands besides Zelda, and she activates stasis, the first “sonar” light wave reveals the stasised monster, and you see it from the view of the Sheikah Slate. Then with each additional flash of sonar you just see this silhouette of Link going absolute ham on a monster. And then when the stasis “ding ding ding ding ding” is done, everything’s just dead. Can you see my inspiration from Persona 5 yet? Second idea was Zelda using cryonis and makes an ice ramp for Link to shield surf on and ram into a monster. For entertainment purposes Zelda should also be putting frogs on said slide. (Also also the reason I’m putting Link as the main focus for those gambit attacks is because I want to juxtapose it with future gambits where Zelda may or may not be more powerful…)

Anyhow anyhow, so this side quest, you beat some bokoblins, theres a moblin or two. However as you progress Zelda’s dialogue because a bit more passive aggressive, maybe Zelda can be a bit irritated at how quickly Link is defeating everything before she can even contribute. Impa can comment on this like “She hasn’t exactly been warming up to you, has she…” and then the last point of the side quest, Zelda runs off, there’s a...let’s say a big horde of blue or black Moblins. Or a horde of Wizzrobes, I’m not too picky on it. Link can save her and do a gambit or whatever, but the point of importance is that Zelda leaves with the clear mindset off, “You don’t need to keep coddling me, I can handle my own” to Link, but is “Thank you, I’m glad you’re here,” to Impa. 

Now I stole was inspired to use this based on this comic by @novellanova, and you should check it out here. But basically, at the end when all the monsters are dead and the last few text boxes are rolling, Impa says something like “Gee, at this rate I might have to protect you from the princess! Hmm…. you know, maybe if you two had the opportunity to hang out more and get to know each other, she’d warm up to you! Ha! That’s it! I’ve made up my mind. Listen up Link, from now on I’m gonna let you man the wheel when it comes to protecting Zelda. So with me out of the picture you better take the opportunity to be the nicest, most helpful, and most effective body guard there is. I know you already are, but still, if I hear that one little Chuchu so much as splat in her direction I will take you down...got it?” And, that’s that.

Side quest done. Fun Link gambits with Impa and Zelda, some little character POVs on the situation, plus an explanation as to why Impa doesn’t accompany Zelda everywhere/nods to the cutscenes of Botw as to what happened to Impa. Alright, that was probably the most boring one so let’s move on to

Daruk: A Rumbling Stomach

Alright I’ll be honest...I have no idea what to do with Daruk. Especially when Yunobo’s not here, I got zip-zero to work with considering his character is non-existent. Further down the line I’ll certainly try to give him more nuances and the like, but I’m afraid the majority of my character efforts have been towards Astor, Revali, Zelda, and [REDACTED] so this is my apology ahead of time, rock fuckers.

This is my take on how to make those timed quests more fun. So basically, the premise of this stage is that Daruk was just happily hanging around trying to enjoy his rock roast, when a monster surprised him and he dropped it, and now it’s rolling down the hill. This is based on my real Breath of the Wild experience where I had to trek up that Volcano path to bring a rock roast for that shrine quest, but at the very top I dropped it and had to chase it down before it fell into the lava below. 

Daruk is eager to chow down on the finest rock roasts this year has to offer! It’s too bad things go downhill when monsters start to ambush. Defeat key enemies and rescue Daruk’s tumbling meal before this year’s wait goes to waste!

So, that’s what this is. The stage opens and Daruk says “NOOooOO! My rock roast! Damn monsters!” and you have to defeat baddies and catch up to the rock roast before the timer runs out and it falls into lava. And then when you finish and get back the rock roast that’s pretty much it….except SIKE no it’s not. Because a lot of these timed quests usually have a “surprise! There’s more!” thing at the end so I’ll do that here too. So Daruk has saved his rock roast and he’s talking about how he’s going to enjoy it in all its deliciousness, when he’s cut off by a random Goron’s scream. Turns out, Daruk’s yelling at the monsters about desperation to retrieve his lost lunch has attracted monsters to some traveling civilians, and now you gotta go beat a Talus, or a couple of Moblins, or something...Again I don’t really have level set or idea when these side quests unlock so just use your imagination. Once Daruk defeats the monster(s) the Gorons can thank him, and then one of the Goron kids can be like “Ooo! Is that a super special rock roast?!?” And Daruk is all:  “Ah! Well all the best Goron heroes eat plenty of rocks! This here is the gourmet stuff. You can only get it once a—” And the kid’s like “Woah! I’ve always wanted to have one, that’s why I’ve been training hard so I can explore more of the mountain. Where’d you get it??” And Daruk can sputter a bit, before finally sighing and giving into his instincts. “Ah….well, why don’t you have it? You’re probably really hungry after running around with those monsters…”

“Woah really?? Are you sure—”

“YEAH JUST TAKE IT ALREADY GO”

“Woah, thank you!” and then the Goron kid and co run off. Cue Daruk crying to himself in the background. Daruk may have an appetite, but I like to characterize him as the Goron Hero first and foremost.  

I’m sure that doesn’t stop him from mourning his rock though.

Mipha: Stronger Sentiments

Mipha and Daruk talked a whole bunch about training together so that Mipha can grow stronger, and Daruk was catching on to her crush on Link and it was a nice interaction in between them except for the fact that we never see them do the damn training so that’s what this is.

I think this is as good an opportunity as any to make this a Hair-Width quest, the ones where you can’t take one hit. The difficulty of a level is one of the most effective ways to put the players in the boots of a character to experience the same struggles they do. If the player works hard, then they automatically associate that with the character working hard. So, yeah, let’s have Mipha kicking ass and working to be strong enough to protect Link.

Mipha is determined to grow stronger. Daruk and the other Gorons are helping out with an intense training session by Gut Check Rock. Prove yourself by defeating all the enemies you encounter!

So Mipha is sparring with the Gorons, you fight through them and the captains and blah blah, the final boss is fighting Daruk without getting hit. 

“I promise not to hurt you more than I’m capable of reversing.”

“Ha! Give me all you’ve got, princess!”

You fight, cue the special music or whatever. I mentioned that gambit dialogue/attacks could also work to be custom for the character that you’re fighting, so I’m thinking something like this. Daruk slams the ground and rocks and magma sprout up around him like jagged pieces of glass, but Mipha is no where to be seen. Daruk’s kinda huffing and puffing, “Where’d you go Mipha…” and then FWOOSH, giant geyser right behind him. [yes I KNOW I overuse the *teleports behind you* “nothing personal, kid” thing but I think it’s COOL and you can’t stop me] So anyhow, you know that thing in Avatar where Pakku is just riding at the top of a whirlpool and destroying everything? That’s Mipha.

Daruk turns around and scratches the back of his head. “...huh….that’s not good.” Cue Mipha swooping down to deal the defeating blow. 

So Mipha wins, she can mention how wonderful it was and how much stronger she feels. And she can thank Daruk, and he’s all “No problem!” but he mutters something like “And I thought Gorons hit hard...now I know how Link feels.” End side quest….SIKE it’s another surprise boss at the end. A Goron captain suddenly reports that an Igneo Talus has appeared nearby. 

Mipha goes up to fight it, but wow! Link is already there. They both fight it, but it’s clear that Link didn’t need her help that much. You can defeat the Talus with a Mipha/Link gambit. It’s similar to Link’s usual “swing sword in a giant circle and become a death windmill” but Mipha kinda enhances it with water or something and it puts out the Talus. I wanted this ending with a focus on how strong Link is just to show that while Mipha is improving, she’s still not yet where she needs to be. 

Daruk: “Sorry I wasn’t much help at the end there, I was busy, uh, stretching.”

Mipha: “Oh it’s quite alright, Daruk. We were both quite tired from today’s training.”

Daruk: “Well I dunno about that...seems to me you were quite lively and active as you fought beside Link. *wink*”

Mipha: “Huh!?!? W-What is that supposed to mean??”

Cue laughter from Daruk. Mipha is flustered. And Link is just...confused, as always. 

Urbosa: Mighty Thunder of the Gerudo

So in the game this is just some normal outpost capturing, stronghold defending side quest, but we’re gonna spice it up just a bit. 

An important excavation site is being overrun by monsters, and Urbosa has set out to engage them. Defend and capture the outposts, in order to prevent this valuable place from falling into enemy hands…

So you fight as Urbosa, defeat some enemies and blah blah. When you first arrive there, I want one of the Gerudo Captains to be like “Lady Urbosa? Where did you come—What are you doing here? Aren’t there areas of greater importance for you to be at right now?” Urbosa says something like “Nevermind that now, let us focus on achieving victory over these rotten beasts.” 

As the battle goes through, it is revealed that this excavation site is where Zelda’s mother would often work and hang out with Urbosa. Urbosa says some stuff like “Her Majesty would not be happy to see all these monsters heading here!” *decapitates Moblin* and then she can say other dramatic stuff at the end like “We have fought well...for her memory” and other classic lesbian pining. Some guard at the end can say “Perhaps you should move on and help out somewhere else, Lady Urbosa. We can handle the clean up from here.” 

“Sure,” Urbosa replies, “Just another moment.” And then cue reminiscing. “She always did love these machines…”

And just other sentimental stuff like that. If you’re gonna be a coward and hold out on the Champion death angst, then you best be pumping that angst and emotion from somewhere, you know?

Also yay for worldbuilding! At least in my rewrite, the Guardian excavations and stuff were overseen by the Queen. Could be a reason Zelda hangs out with Sheikah tech so much...who knows who knows... who knows what other implications this has, it’s just a side quest after all.

Revali: Anti-Ice Training [get it??? Cause in this one, Revali’s gonna break the ice with some other characters?? I’m funny I swear]

Ok so for this one, I want to pull Revali’s character away from just “the birb that doesn’t like Link” and give him some other stuff to stand on. Obviously, there would be other side quests in a fully fleshed out game that did even more to characterize him, but for my rewrite I’m only dedicated this post and one other future post to sidequests, so I gotta really bring out what I can for the few side quest stories I have time to tell

Revali sets out alone to deal with some monsters by the Hebra trail. Although intended as an isolated moment to hone his skills, he finds himself with unexpected company. Defeat key enemies.

So you play as Revali and at first you’re alone, taking out Ice Lizalfos and the like. Revali’s text dialogue can say stuff like “Hmm...not fast enough” “My current needs to be stronger” “*mutters* Can’t compete with lightning and magma with aim like that.” Just stuff that establishes that he’s working hard to really prove himself as the best, but is still a bit insecure about his position. He thinks he’s better than Link, sure, and he certainly thinks that being a princess or a chief doesn’t automatically make you the best. However by this point, Revali has battled alongside the other Champions and seen their skill in battle, and has developed some respect for them. Afterall, Champions were chosen in some part for their skills, unlike Link or Zelda who destiny just thrust greatness upon. 

So Revali has this slight insecurity that compared to lightning, and magic healing, and magma, with chiefs and princesses and titles of heroes, he and his efforts will be overshadowed and forgotten, unfairly deemed the useless one. Thus, here he is, training in solitude, not wanting anyone to see the imperfections and mistakes until he is absolutely perfect.

Except for the fact that after you beat a Wizzrobe, the other three Champions show up. 

Revali: Wh—Huh?? What are you all doing here?

Urbosa: Well, we all have to travel with the princess to that Tower in a few hours, so I recommended we find you and hang out until then

Mipha: And a good thing too! Look how many monsters there are

Revali: I’m actually doing very well on my own right now. Wouldn’t want you to catch a cold or something, so why don’t you head on back and let me handle this.

Daruk: Aw, it’s not that we think you can’t do this. It’s that you’re hogging all the fun! Urbosa: And that it would be more efficient if all of us went to work

Daruk: That too

Revali: Look it’s not—you all can’t just—this is not just about—AUGH, look, I’m just trying to train myself at the moment, and I don’t need you all to mess with my drills

Urbosa: Training, hm? Well how about this...you let us continue helping you with these monsters, and after, I’ll let you in on a good Gerudo training technique

Revali: Hmph. Fine, whatever gets you out of my tail feathers faster

So Revali and the Champions clear out the monsters. Revali can have gambit attacks/dialogue with each of the other Champions. This is already incredibly long so perhaps I’ll save specifics for another time, feel free to use your imagination. Urbosa teasing Revali and they make a thunderstorm, Mipha and Revali swimming in the sky and kissing—wait that’s— 

When all the monsters are cleared, which honestly isn’t tooooo many, Revali speaks again.

Revali: So what’s this oh-so-holy technique you had in mind, then?

Urbosa: Ah yes, well really it’s quite simple. It’s called…

Urbosa: One-on-one combat

Now Revali fights Urbosa. It think it’d be really fun if your allies on a stage could swap to a boss, and I wish hwaoc had a bit more freedom with the interactions as a whole, but ah well, that’s what I’m here for I guess.

So when you/Revali defeat her, it’s a good accomplishment! Not only for you the player, as Urbosa would not be the easiest to beat, but also because match-up wise, Revali prevailing over Urbosa is a big feat as their styles are quite opposite, arguably with the strength in favour for Urbosa.

Revali might at first have the mindset that Urbosa is overconfident and thinks she’s got an easy win on Revali, but that mindset is quickly proven wrong when 1) the difficulty of the gameplay itself shows how they’re both doing their best and 2) Urbosa with her Gerudo qualities is probably shouting stuff like “give it your all!” and things.

And so, as you beat her...

Revali, kinda huffing and puffing, but just a bit:: ...you….held back

Urbosa: Come now, do you really think of me as someone who’d do that? I’m almost insulted.  

Revali: Hmm...perhaps not then....

Mipha: Wow! What a wonderful fight from both of you. 

And then insert some other dialogue from Daruk or something that shows the Champions acknowledging the training and hard work Revali must have put in to be so skilled. Perhaps it’s not so bad, when you train with others and your skill is fully appreciated by your frie—GAH. Perish the thought, they’re all just a bunch of royal fools who can’t hold a candle to the skill of a Rito Master….probably…

Revali: Well unlike you lax fools, I tend to take my job seriously. I don’t have time to longue and banter when the princess is still expecting me in an hour or two

Urbosa: Oh alright, let’s get to it then. What’s the expression? “The early bird gets the w—”

Revali: Gross. No. Don’t finish that sentence, I beg you. 

Urbosa: Oh? Well why don’t you fly off to escape my dreadful tones then?

Revali: ...Heh, don’t be absurd…

Revali: Without me, you’ll all probably get lost. So, I suppose I should stick around for that sake Great Fairies: Dress to Oppress 

The Great Fairies are holding a fashion competition and rating people’s outfits. Poorly judged outfits gives them the right to compensation combat. Defeat all your less than fashionable allies.

...

...yeah.

It seemed funny in my head, alright? cOme on, just imagine…

Revali, fully expecting to win: Well?

Great Fairies: Hm...I don’t know dear, all the colors are very clustered. Perhaps if you were taller—?

Revali: bWHAKT!? *other angry bird noises*

- - - 

Daruk: I brought my BEST out today! :D

Great Fairies: Is that a….chain?

Daruk: TWO chains, actually. :D

Great Fairies: Oh honey…

- - - 

Great Fairies: Ooo! Our little hero is about to come out! Wonder what he chose...a knight in shining armour? A handsome desert voe? Ooo!! And those Snowquill braids always made him look so cute…

Link: *comes out in the Tingle Outfit*

Great Fairies: …

Great Fairies: …………..hm…..

At the end of the side quest, after you beat everyone, the Great Fairy wins because of course they do. 

Great Fairies: Oh my! What an unexpected outcome...but it really couldn’t have gone any other way. I declare the judges the winner! I mean just look at me, I’m as dazzling as a jeweled desert flower, because I am! Ohohohoho…

This side quests unlocks the Tingle Outfit

Hestu: Forest Dance Festival

Alright this quest was already pretty perfect, BUT, I just want to use this opportunity to say that all of Hestu’s gambit attacks makes his allies and enemies do special dances. Absolutely abSURD that Hestu can only make the lesser smaller enemies dance on occasion, nonononono, my guy Hestu is making everyone dance. You can’t stop this. Nothing I say will ever top the imagination, so just take my word that this is a good thing. [Reluctant Revali doing the macarena against his will in sync with Hestu and they bash someone’s head in...ah the possibilities.] 

Maz Koshia: Links to the Past

Ok so before I get into this, a few things. This quest takes place well after the tower activations in Akkala. Age of Calamity leaves a whole lot of plots holes as to why a Monk is just...here, and what the point of the shrines are, and personally my first reaction to all this was just a five minute extended “huuhhhhhh???” 

So here is my headcanon, explanation, thing, canon to the world of the Kip Cut story. Ones all the Sheikah Towers were activated, that officially woke up all the Shrines, because we know that the Towers and Shrines are all connected to the same system. [See Great Plateau Tower activating all the Shrines and Towers, and Creating a Champion explanation on the system] But when all the monks were in their little altars and noticed how Link hadn’t dont a single one, they were like “what the fuck.” Monk Maz Koshia, who is kinda the head honcho of the monks and probably the only one powerful enough to go out in the world anyhow, sets out to see what the deal is, and after many a teleportation and telepathic communication, he figures out that Link is just running around with the Master Sword already. This kinda confuses him, because the whole point of the Shrines was to test Link and give him the spirit orbs so that he could grow strong enough to get the Master Sword, but he somehow already has it...so hmmmm something fishy is going on in this timeline. So Link technically hasn’t proven himself at all, Maz Koshia ambushes him, they do their little combat trial, Link passes, and Maz Koshia’s like “ok cool so you’re not useless.”

So now Monk Maz Koshia has cast aside his old monk duties of waiting around for a couple hundred years, in favour of just hanging out with Link and continuing to train him combat wise. Shrines are still explored by Zelda and co because they are important areas to establish teleportation pads, and whenever they’re there, Maz Koshia forces Link to get in a shrine to get a spirit orb, which is not only useful in general for health, but since Link already has the Master Sword, the other characters can get the spirit orb too. (So all those little heart upgrades that you see on the map, those are all just in the real Botw Shrine locations, rather than just scattered around randomly. Also I’m ignoring the stuff about talking to Hylia in order to exchange for stamina or heart containers because the game never talks about her, or stamina, and I’m not about to create an entirely new custom gameplay feature for this game, fuck you.)

I like to think that Maz Koshia is very selective about the Shrines he encourages people to try out. “Oh nonono, don’t bother with Qukah’s….lazy ass, only set up one little mountain that you have to blast through with lightning and that’s the entire puzzle! Disgraceful...Here, Kaam Ya’tak has set up a wonderful Trial of Power for you. I’m sure you’ll find the level design quite thrilling. They spent a lot of time on the critical thinking aspects so have fun!”

“I should warn you that this one was made by one of the millennials...yes, those youngins who were only initiated 1000 years of age. Honestly, they lack so much experience. Ms. Agana over here was experimenting with something called ‘motion controls?’ Pretty lazy if you ask me. Traditionally I would just stick to combat and block and switch stuff...but ah well, variety I suppose.”

Right, what was I talking about? Oh right! This is a sidequest. So Monk Maz Koshia doesn’t really have...a character??? Or a personality??? So I don’t really know what to do with him other than use him as an outlet for world building. Apologies to the Monk….fuckers? Stans? Feel free to leave me a comment about how I missed all the nuances of his character or something I’m all ears.

On an expedition to mark more Shrines and establish more teleports for the Kingdom, a large horde of monsters is spotted, seemingly with the intention to destroy these Ancient relics. Link and Maz Koshia use this opportunity to sharpen their combat skills. Protect the stronghold and defeat key enemies.

And then that quest would just kinda echo the stuff I said earlier about the world. (As Maz Koshia defends a Shrine, somewhere Qukah Nata is smugly shouting “Bet you wish ALL of them were protected with a giant mountain now, do ya?)

Also Link and Maz Koshia’s gambit attack involves the Master Cycle. I don’t have the specifics, but damn if I want some call backs to Botw while also having fun.

Impa: Steal Yourself [Yiga Clan Escape]

In an act of pure hatred and malice, the Yiga Clan has snuck into Kakariko Village in the dead of night…and stolen all the Swift Carrots! Impa sets out to get them back, as well as taking something else as a form of swift revenge...Escape before the time runs out.

Ok I can explain.

So you know how the Yiga and the Sheikah have kiiiiinda been murdering each other a bunch in Botw, going as far as to kill a deserter’s wife and threatening to murder his kids, and also people on both sides were sorta massacred for no reason? And alsoooo one of those people who literally lived during that time of the massacre is just kinda floating around now?  And you knooooooooww how the Yiga Clan just kinda joins Zelda’s side later on and we’re not supposed to think about the implications of that too hard because they’re the funny banana ninjas, haha? Yeah well neither Age of Calamity or I really have time to explore the moral grey areas of an alliance between two warring factions, one of which has a leader who doesn’t really seem to remember the reason why they hate Hyrule which brings into question whether the lackeys even know their clan’s history, and brings about the moral dilemma of criminalizing the ignorant, and also there’s the whole other dilemma of depicting the side that submitted to their oppression as being “in the right” and the topic of a race of people being pitted against their own by a higher power is really brushed over sO WE’RE JUST GONNA TOSS ALL THAT OUT THE WINDOW AND MAKE THEM ACT LIKE RIVALLING HIGH SCHOOLS, OKAY? OKAY! This is fine this is fine— 

So I have dubbed the High School mascot of the Sheikah, the Swift Carrot. And although there does seem to be some internal debate about whether the carrot should be replaced by the Fortified Pumpkin, the hero of Hyrule Link favours carrots so that’s that. Then of course, the mascot for the Yiga Clan is the Mighty Banana. The two sides hate each other and steal their food symbols to be petty. I’ll be covering the side quests of Kohga and the other later characters in another later post, but just know that Kohga will have his banana heist sidequest too. 

So anyhow, you play as Impa. Maybe she can say a piece of dialogue or two about how she has to uphold the image of her people as she has to lead them one day. And then, this side quest is just her retrieving the carrots and running off with the Yiga’s big banana supply before she’s caught. This is based on that “Escape the Yiga Clan” quest if you couldn’t tell.

Custom gambit defeat of Impa vs Kohga: On one hand I think it would be badass to see Impa’s Sheikah skills go up against the Yiga Clan tactics. Kohga summons a giant metal ball to throw, Impa teleports behind him “nothing personal, kid” nO fuck I’m doing it again away goes to swing a blade at his face. He blocks it with his little energy shield thing, but not before an entire conga line of Impa clones start slashing at him until he’s defeated by a giant explosion. So yeah, that’d be badass and cool. But on the other hand…

Kohga, stomping his feet and having a fit: I cARROT believe you would do something this terrible! Give us back those bananas right now! D: ….please? You can keep the gross orange sticks.

Sooga: He asked nicely. You wouldn’t deny the wishes of the most polite and charming Yiga Chief there is, would you?

Impa: No can do, Yiga scum! I’m afraid this cruel action wasn’t veggie nice of you so I must exact justice! Now it’s my time to split. *Impa clones gather and throw Kohga into a giant frog’s mouth. Impa runs off with a sack of fruit [fruit (derogatory) if you will] cackling into the horizon*

Zelda: The Path She Laid For You

The King has order Zelda to head to the Temple of Time, in order to see if anything there could help awaken her powers. Zelda sets off quietly, with minimal company, as not to attract too much attention lest the Town’s folk be hit with another attack. It seems, however, that these precautions won’t be enough...Defeat key enemies

So this is a pure Zelda sidequest, with no other characters except for eggbot because I said so. Starts out normal when SURPRISE! Bunch of monsters appear and Zelda has to whip out her iphone and fight them. 

Also!! Good time for the Hollows to show up, and you know, tell her what a failure she is and all that. Convince her that she's useless and gonna doom everyone. All that good stuff!! It’s just nice to catch up with the villains and see how they’re doing, you know? ‘Sup Hollow Urbosa, last I saw you were barely spitting words in the Lost Woods, and now you’re giving full hard-hitting insults to Zelda’s character and ability? Good for you, Queen, good for you.

So Zelda and a handful of guards are fighting off monsters, and Zelda has to beat the Hollows too. Her gambit dialogue when she defeats Hollows can be stuff like “You’re not the real ___” or something idk, I don’t have a lot of experience with the evil clone trope, I’ve never played Ocarina of Time. But one specific I DO want to highlight is that Zelda uses the nearby Sheikah Tech to defeat the enemies. I find it a bit weird how Zelda just knows how to use those random water canons in the Faron region in later chapters, so we’re just gonna at least set up a pattern so that it makes a bit more sense later. Plus! This is in front of the Great Plateau, AKA Gate Post Town/Garrisons AKA oh lOOK it’s that area where Link and Impa and eggbot first meet in that Impa introduction scene of my rewrite so we have already established that Sheikah Technology is being stored here and ready to use! Continuity in world building! Nice.

So Zelda uses her knowledge of Sheikah Tech to defeat the Hollows, when...dun dun dun! Astor appears. But you don’t fight him...

Astor: Have you listened to one word spoken to you today? Why are you still resisting? Let me help you.

Zelda: And what exactly is your plan? You wish to kill me, then?

Astor: Not quite. I mean, if you do die, there are ways I can manage, so if some stray Yiga blade happens to strike you I’m not completely doomed.

Astor: But no, the most optimal outcome for everyone is the one where you live yet. You must see the truth as I do, and let me fix this. I can undo this terrible knot destiny has thread for you. [and insert other fate sisters and sewing metaphors here]

Zelda: But how? What’s your game here, if you’re truly claiming to be in everyone’s best interest then why all this secrecy?

Astor: Ah...ever the one to look for the facts and logic, hmm? Can’t blame you, you get it straight from your mother.

Zelda: …!

Astor: But...I’m afraid even if I did tell you now, you’re in no state to truly grasp it. No...the only way this works is for you to truly understand the position you're in, and the stakes that hang in the path before you. 

Astor: And if I have to kill every King, Champion, or knight to get you to understand…

Astor: Then so be it. 

[dun dun dun]

Zelda: No! I won’t let you hurt anyone, I swear it!

Eggbot [just pretend eggbot can have dialogue boxes too]: *chirps* 

Astor, suddenly noticing eggbot: ...You…you’re one thing I still don’t—

Eggbot chirps again beside Zelda, both seeming to be angry at Astor’s words. Eggbot releases a glowing flash of light. Kinda like a...flash bang? [is that the right word idk]

Astor: Ah—! *and he teleports away to escape* Astor: Until next time then...Princess

And that’s pretty much the sidequest. Zelda can question what exactly eggbot did, but he’s not exactly the most verbal in responses. Finally it ends with Zelda going home, “He was still right though...I’m still sitting in failure, with not a hint of my powers awakening. All I have is some Sheikah tech, some exhausted shoulders….and well, you, I suppose, little one.”

“Come, it’d be a waste to continue forth in this condition. Let’s go back to the castle.”

Eggbot: *happy whistles and chirps*

= = = = = 

Tune in next time folks, as we dive back into the main event! Needless to say, Chapter 4 is where the shit starts to go down...

[corpsentry]

allahrakhii (dot) tumblr (dot) com/post/148596180152/honestly-the-depths-of-ignorance-of-white-people

this is a really good post for those who want to learn more about the harmful portrayal of brown women in the legend of zelda series. theres a bunch of helpful links that direct to articles throughout the post as well. if you scroll through a bit youll find the section that covers why the gerudo outfit is racist.

i would appreciate if you post this and not simply brush it aside! this message isnt intended to be hostile or offensive, but rather it is an opportunity for learning and discussion. thank you.

i find the insinuation that i might brush this aside rather ominous anon! first of all, thank you for sharing this post. as someone vaguely from southeast asia i uncovered another facet of the fuckcluster of internalized racism in my system while reading it and will be thinking about it for a while to come. the post is well-written and thoughtfully phrased, plus op provides links to several other resources that i’ll be checking out in my free time too so i’d recommend anyone passing by here give it a read. i also want to apologize for responding to the earlier ask (now deleted) where op was like ‘how is the gerudo outfit racist’ and i was like ‘fuck all if i know’. i was talking out of my ass and failed to consider alternate perspectives. i retract that statement and replace it with this much longer and much more eloquent one.

now everything from here on is frankly quite unrelated to this ask so to the person who sent it please feel free to stop reading right here right now from high school musical as i want to talk about the previous anon message i received and some general stuff regarding fandom and none of that has anything to do with you (you are lovely and the rest of the world is a shithole).

i don’t know if the original anon who sent the ‘i like your art but the gerudo outfit racist :(’ is gonna see this but let’s take a moment to unpack it. i’m not quite sure what anon was going for with this ask. what did they want from me? did they want me to apologize for drawing and posting it? did they want me to delete the post? did they expect me to say oh thank you so much!!! sorry about the racism xd or did they want me to call up shigeru miyamoto and be like ‘hey dude your shit’s racist’ and then take down the entire nintendo corporation in one fell swoop like i was somehow implicated in either the development process or the game by pure merit of drawing fanart of it(????). this was the shit running through my head when i woke up at 6 am this morning because jetlag and opened tumblr and there was this Person sitting there trying to :( me. what’s up with the :(. why are you :(. what do you want from me.

this is where the second anon above comes in. relative to this ask, if the first anon had so much as dropped one (1) link to one (1) post explaining how the outfit might be racist (and taken out the :(, which is lame) then instead of being like ‘which reaction image should i use for this’ i would’ve been like ‘oh here’s something i didn’t know about the world and here’s how i can learn more’. ‘your art great but this racist u___u’ reads like someone trying to guilt-trip someone for shits and giggles. a B grade on a paper is useless unless your prof tells you where you went wrong and before anyone Calls Me Out i’m going to acknowledge that there is a broader issue with marginalized groups having to bear the burden of ‘explaining themselves’ to privileged people who aren’t willing to go and seek information on their own, but let’s just look at this ask for a moment.

what the fuck is this??? what am i even supposed to do with a statement that not only tells me nothing but also seems to have no clear purpose? i am sitting here drawing video game fanart in a college dorm in pennsylvania and i know like 3 things about western media because i don’t like live-action film. if you want to have a conversation please give me something to work with instead of trying to sound sad in my askbox. i can’t turn your :( into a :) because i have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about because i am not god (yet) (although i am trying to).

but let’s talk bigger. racist stereotypes are a huge fucking problem in everything the ideological west gets its hands on. i promise you i know this because i grew up in singapore where the racism was directed towards everyone including ourselves because sir dickbag raffles stuck a flag in the ground and then ruined everything. i can see how nintendo has replicated those racist stereotypes, especially given that east asian countries generally have a long history of racism towards black and brown people. singapore fucks with it too because we’re majority chinese-singaporean and majority lighter-skinned (relatively speaking). op makes a lot of excellent points. perpetuating stereotypes in popular media serves to reinforce racist ideas and further entrench discriminatory beliefs. it’s a chicken egg chicken egg thing. people are socialized into racist beliefs. they create media with racist depictions. young people consume said media and are socialized into racist beliefs. and so on. egg chicken egg chicken.

so, question: where does fanwork figure into all of this? is that 5k ganlink (is this the ship name lol idk if it’s wrong feel free to take me out with a bazooka) e-rated smutfic the egg or the chicken? who is it socializing? who’s writing it? what kind of audience is it reaching? and, more broadly speaking, what is fandom here for, and what does fandom want to achieve?

here we’re going to take a huge detour into another very popular disco horse (at least on twitter i have fuckall clue what’s going on on tumblr at all times) of the present times: the wmulti level wmarketing (wlw) discussion. it is statistically true that there are far less f/f fics on ao3 than m/m fics and f/m fics. this clearly reflects something about fandom’s habits, but the floor is divided. in fact, the floor is on fucking fire all the time. several arguments have been made over the years, of which 1) media creates less-nuanced female characters which makes them harder to connect to (mass media’s fault) and 2) everyone is a gay fetishizer (the individual’s fault) are, arguably, the most popular.

as a head ass philosophy student i’m going to pick the option no one likes and say that i think it’s a combination of all of these factors. and i’m going to step out further and say that people are so inseparable from our communities and societies that it’s impossible to tell where external influence ends and personal preference begins. what this means, more simply, is i think that both individual arguments are insufficient. media is fucking complicated and so are people so imagine when you put all of this shit together on one webpage and then you light a match. tell me, bethany, can you truly say that you like twinkies because You Like Twinkies or was it that advertisement you saw at the bus stop every day for eight years that finally got to you? are you trying to rebel against society’s fear of fatness? are you depressed? do you just like sweet things, and anyway, can anyone “just like” something?

now let’s transplant this issue of societal/self influence (a fandom friendly version of the nature/nurture argument, if you will) onto fandom. so okay, there aren’t a lot of f/f fics. what do?

some popular options i’ve seen are: 1) make angry posts/tweets about how everyone sleeps on f/f relationships in fandom and we’re all secretly lesbophobic 2) call everyone a gay fetishizer 3) write f/f fic

and so here is the other (other? i don’t remember how many problems i’ve listed lol i’m trying here guys) problem: fandom doesn’t have a single cohesive goal. like people don’t come to fandom and then sign a 5 page contract at the end of which is the company vision. everyone comes here to do their own shit. some people use fandom as a means of escape. some people are trying to spread a message (like the evangelists) or educate the youth. some people fuck around and find out.

concept: if the goal of fandom was social activism, then the argument could be made that We Should Write More f/f fics. that make sense to you? because there’s something we’re all striving towards, we can agree that we have an obligation to our community to do something. but the goal of fandom isn’t social activism, is it? maybe it is for you. but it isn’t for everyone here including the 14 year old kid in chinese orchestra and the 56 year old who just wants to read some good werewolf smut. and because we’re all different people who do different things and fandom is not and cannot be your entire life, we can’t make these prescriptive statements. we can’t tell people what to do. ‘people should write more f/f fics because there are very few right now’ that is a valid statement and observation. now will you write those fics? because you’re the only person whose fandom life you can control. because the point of fandom is we’re away from the rules and regulations of Society. because when people are told they can do what they want they will do what they want and if you tell them to do something else, it’s hard to fault them for not taking kindly to it. i’ve written 5k character studies. it’s work. not everyone wants to do that work. that’s why i do it.

detour end and now we return to the chicken egg problem. in my opinion, the shit we create in fandom isn’t the chicken or the egg. it’s the onsen egg that’s been placed on top of your ramen. it’s a product of several complex societal processes, but now it’s here you and maybe the dude sitting across from you are the only ones, by and large, that it’s going to affect. this onsen egg isn’t for the children of the world (broadcast via disney+). this onsen egg isn’t for the politicians who’ll decide on the policy of your country for the next hundred years. they’re not even going to see it because it’s a fucking onsen egg now and no one has taste anymore these days except for yourself, which is why this onsen egg is just for you. put in clearer terms, i agree with op that people in fandom often replicate societal bias in their work (people are copy machines, bethany), but i don’t think most fanfiction has the power to influence society the way that popular media can (see: marvel movies, i dunno, fucking, like, austin powers?), and to critique it with the same mindset we use to critique tony stark is to say that we earnestly think every 15k smutfic is going to be read by millions of people of all ages from across the world. which is not the case. ao3 has a thing you have to click if you’re not logged in you know where you have to agree that you’re 18 or older o read adult stuff. if you lie about that that’s your own goddamn problem. they asked.

and now, part 2, we come around to several interesting points made in the post. op mentioned that ganon is often portrayed as hypersexual (which is fascinating to me i don’t read e rated fic I See What Zelda Fandom Is Doing) or just fucks a lot in general. since i don’t go here i will take op’s word and roll with it, but i have my own word to add: so ganon fucks- what do we do? do we tell people to stop writing fics where ganon fucks? do we force them? do we tell people to write more gen rated character studies (please join me i sit here alone and i (pensive homo stare))?

we could. but we can’t make them. and we also can’t tell them where their ideas are coming from. i don’t, like, read a lot of smutfic but i sure know that shit exists because half my friends are horny as shit and can we all agree that fandom as a whole is just super fucking horny. like yes if ganon as a whole is portrayed more often in sexual situations than the other characters in the franchise, it’s a good and fair observation that Something’s Up Here. but can we really point to individual authors? the premises mentioned in the post by op are premises i’ve seen for haikyuu fanfiction. multiple times. tens of hundreds of times. what if someone’s just really fucking horny? what if they’re replicating racist ideas taught to them by mass media? can we tell? can THEY tell?

the answer is no because humans are black boxes that can’t be opened up even if we drop into the pacific ocean and instead screech helplessly at walls all our lives. the answer is these are complex issues and i don’t think prescriptive ‘Never Write Sexy Ganon’ statements or pointing fingers at random 30 year old smutfic authors will improve the situation. the answer, or at least my answer, is that we should consume media with a critical eye and be aware of potential biases perpetuated by the authors/creators, but striving towards ideological purity is impossible on principle (i promise you everyone on this planet is problematic in some way or another because this purity thing from christianity is fucking lame and also completely fake) and so we should all give that up. my personal answer is i’ve learned a lot about stereotypes about middle eastern and south asian people and i’ll take all this info with me moving forward, but i honestly and earnestly do not think me drawing link and zelda in dumbass princess jasmine outfits is going to directly correlate with an increase in racism as observed in the island city-state of singapore. i am aware now. that’s a good thing. but just like how the h*rry potter fandom has completely detached itself from its horrible creator and now fucks around in its own space doing its own thing, i think it’s fully possible to engage with flawed media because, surprise surprise, all the media in the world is flawed.

[theunconcernedembalmer]

Toko! I was thinking of creating an ask the character blog for IDV or Genshin Impact and wanted a few tips on how to start off. Anything you can share?

ey yo my dude!! thank you so much for this question, now im lowkey tempted (again) to make a genshin ask blog sjadhlkshgkahshglsaj anyway my 1.5 cents is under the cut, yall know how much i talk here HAHAHAHAH

uhhhhhh so i guess we start with picking a character u really Vibe with tm? I KNOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE COMMON SENSE BUT LIKE ive been considering making a genshin ask blog for a while now but i never really got to it cos i couldnt really decide on a character (plus the fact that their outfits are. so intricate. is also a hmm since i try to follow details to a t) (at first i wanted to do zhongli, but i feel like to be able to muse him well u need to know the lore super super well, which i dont n im too lazy to research on that aha. n u know how much i respect characterizations, especially for such a complex character like him. i also considered xiangling for a period of time mostly for guoba but also like i have 2+1 blogs here n having one more might not be a very good idea aha) (as for aesop he was my Hyperfixation Character tm also cos i looked at his kit n went Yep i could work with this. probably)

so assuming ur not a dumbass like me n u kinda know who u wanna pick, id actually say to snoop around here for other ask blogs n kinda get a feel of the... scene? is that the word? or like u know, other blogs that u can potentially vibe with. ive run a couple of ask blogs before this current one (both that have died for different reasons) n from my experience interacting with other blogs (if theyre okay with it, i think most should be) is pretty fun. it also kinda helps get ur blog around to other ppl on other blogs so they can go Oh whats this cool shit n check u out, n its also a reason why we kinda reblog promo posts for other blogs (also cos we’re always excited when someone new comes on, its really the more the merrier. we see all :eyes:). interacting with other blogs is also an option when ur inbox is looking real roomy too

another reason why i havent exactly done a genshin blog is that idk i cant actually seem to find genshin ask blogs around (i have seen rp blogs, or those that answer asks with mostly text instead of art, but thats. not my thing since i hate my own writing aha) (i did find one aether blog some time ago, but for some reason i hardly see them around anymore??? idk man i might be wrong). its not like im trying super hard to find them ask blogs, so im sure they exist out there (hopefully?? im not sure but im being optimistic). i mean theres nothing wrong with just starting an ask blog without others around, but for me i do find a difference when i interact with other ask blogs n when i dont, n i prefer when theres others to have fun with (unfortunately i couldnt find any ask blogs to interact with in my previous fandom. i tried, but the blogs i approached seemed to go inactive shortly afterwards...) plus u get to meet friends that way too :D (i made a lot of friends via idv askblogs n its really been a joy vibing with others)

as for the idv scene. gestures around me. unfortunately there are a lot of ask blogs that arent that active anymore, but theres still some of us who are alive n kicking empty inboxes, n im sure everyone would love to see a new face around. winks at u. also there seems to be a lot more blogs popping up lately, which is really heartening to see.

then u kinda just. make ur blog? n a starting introduction post so ppl can reblog it n spread the word XD n yay u have a blog i guess??? XD

i gotta say tho. dont expect ur blog to take off immediately (especially for smaller fandoms like idv, tvbh i didnt think my blog would even get half this far when i started cos of how non existent idv tumblr seemed to be) n ur inbox will probably be looking pretty empty a lot of the time (or at least filled with some that u havent quite thought of how to reply to yet aha) (but also like empty inboxes happen pretty often, im sure most of us here have experienced this problem)

in the case of the first ask blog i ever started, it never really took off at all. ngl it was kind of demoralizing n depressing but to be fair i had picked one of the more obscure characters in the series, so obscure that many ppl in the fandom would have never heard of this character before. if u wanted to know, i took a character that only appeared in the 2nd musical of the series, who also made a very brief cameo in the manga to acknowledge his existence within that universe. thats how obscure my character was, but i went with him purely because he was my favourite character. i will say though i did enjoy it while it lasted n i learnt a lot from the experience, n i think thats whats important really.

i guess this kinda leads on (not really but let me digress) to the whole uhhhh thing where if u choose a more popular character, u get more attention. which is fine i guess? if u really vibe with the character, i mean theyre popular for a reason. n choosing a more popular fandom (like genshin) would objectively also get u more viewers n numbers. but like honestly i believe that ask blogs are meant for u to have fun with, n like trying to get popular gets tiring pretty fast (this shouldnt be like a main goal, but u know sometimes u subconsciously also want that gucci follower count n bomb ass notes or something. i used to be guilty of this until i realized it isnt worth it) especially if ur not enjoying yourself in the process. (case in point: my previous fandom was considerably larger n my blog got about 700 followers within a year or so, but it got very tiring n stressful to maintain after my interest in it died, n no one was really interacting with the blog even though i tried which kinda made it even more depressing despite the so called success n popularity of the blog)

anyway on a less serious note, theres a lot of fun stuff u can do with the ask blog, like some ask blogs have really fancy tags that i really like n try to do but also like not really HAHAHAHA. i kinda just channel what i want to see in an ask blog into my own ask blogs (good art is one, i try very hard for it to be good :,DD another is characterization, n others is just extra miscellaneous arts n stuffs like au ideas or memes. these are also somethings u could work on during ask box downtimes perhaps)

uhhh another side thing is like a posting schedule i guess? like ppl would be more likely to interact (i think) if ur blog is relatively active, n this is usually determined by the last post u made (i think XD). but like generally for blog maintenence id say try to kinda find a frequency that ur comfortable with?? cos i know my once a day posting is kinda insane if i wasnt so hyperfixated on all of this n fight the urge to dump all ur replies when u finish them XD (though ive seen some blogs do that n they do it pretty frequently so its pretty nice to know once u see their post u can spend some time going through the latest batch of posts XD) the queue function is pretty useful here even though i truthfully have never really used it, i kinda just post from my drafts really but it also helps to space out ur content to seem somewhat active especially when u dont have the time to be working on replies sometimes. i hope u know what im trying to say here aha

ANYWAY that was like my 1.5 cents cos i dont even think its worth 2 cents HAHAHAHAH these are just my thoughts from running all my blogs up till now, some that are still running n the others that have just died a natural death. i wouldnt actually delete them (theyre still around actually XD) cos theyre kinda like archives n i can look back at what i did last time. cos ngl i made some high quality stuff back then, n i dont even know how i managed to do that aldhflhdsgk. also ppl do look at archive blogs every now n then for the content thats there yknow

BUT YES anyway if u do decide to join the idv ask blogs hmu, ill be sure to give u a lil shoutout here. winks

[kiyo-yoon]

Hes already bored of watching everyone fawn over valentines day so he's probably spent all his time listening to music. Yamaguchi has been oddly quiet all day and anytime he speaks, he won't shut up about the event. He thinks a quiet Yamaguchi is an annoying Yamaguchi and eventually breaks when they're walking home after practice.

"Why do you look so depressed?"

"Umm...I'm not, it's just...Daichi and Suga were really affectionate weren't they?"

"Well they are boyfriends and its valentines day. Are you blaming them or something?"

"What? No! No! No! No! It's just...we're boyfriends and...we don't really do that...umm, but I'm not trying to hint that we do more stuff, just pointing out and observing! Ahh! But not in the creepy way! Just th-umm?"

Yamaguchis rambling would be interrupted by Tsukkishima suddenly placing his headphones on him. He would get to listen to some metal band playing for two seconds before the blonde would lean over and kiss him.

"Valentines is about love isnt it? I love music so...so take what I love. Here, J-just listen and shut up..."

And he would walk away with a blush on his face, but never allow Yamaguchi to see it! Meanwhile, Yamaguchi is literally dying on the spot, face red and hands shaking and lips tingling. Plus he's got to listen through Tsukkis headphones which is a bonus!

All day, he's been watching couples get together and give each other gifts and cards and even kisses. During breaks between classes, he cant help but point out a new couple that's gotten together, or even someone who's been kissed or hugged...

They had a short practice of volleyball today, but he couldn't even concentrate because he's been busy admiring Suga and Daichis affectionate teasing and behaviour. He's totally jealous, but doesn't show it and as a result, realises that his own boyfriend has actually forgot what day it is. They all leave Asahi and Noya to lock up and on the way home, Tsukki finally breaks and asks him what's up.

He explains and then totally freaks out when Tsukki thinks hes not happy for Suga and Daichi. His freaking out disappears when Tsukki gives him headphones and a kiss and...that's enough for him, really.

"I can't believe Tsukki just-oh my g-!"

"What did you say? Something wrong?"

"No! Sorry Tsukki!"

Considering that they're already a couple, Daichi plans out the perfect day for them. His parents are away on holiday for a week, so he's pretty keen to get Suga at his house. He's been admittedly more lovey dovey than usual and after giving Asahi a pep talk for later, he takes Suga out of practice and out to town. He takes him to a cake shop where they would have cake and whilst he's ordering, Sugas waiting at the table.

Daichi is totally known for his jealous nature and when he returns to the table and spots some drunk delinquent high schooler, with an arm draped around Suga, he politely tells the guy to...go away.

And of course when he doesnt, Daichi would provoke him until the delinquent ends up trying to start a fight. The cake shop owner ends up kicking all three of them out and Daichi storms away in a mood because everything's been ruined until Suga stops him and grabs him into a hug.

"Sorry...I guess I just wanted today to be...perfect..."

And after a bit of reassurance from Suga, a cheeky innuendo, they end up sharing a smooch and head back to Daichis.

Suga would be the type to constantly tease Daichi for not getting everything right, it's in his nature to be cheeky. He succeeds in making Daichi blush when he lies and says he's upset for not getting flowers. Where's his kiss and hug? He didn't even get him a card? Heartbroken...

Still, Its cute that Daichi is dedicated anyways. Suga would probably be the type to leave a longing kiss, enough for Daichi to remember long in class. He's been listening to his boyfriend mumble their plans to himself and he's totally flustered with that because that's just adorable.

At the end of practice, they walk towards a cake shop, hands joined together and Suga sits down at a booth whilst he's waiting for Daichi to come back with cake. Suddenly theres a weight on his shoulder and he realises it's a teenager, maybe his age? And...yep, definitely drunk and now rambling about anything and everything.

After a few attempts of trying to get this guys arm off him, the guy is refusing to budge and Daichi is standing there and then the pair start arguing and before they know it, the owner of the shop has kicked them all out. Suga ends up chasing Daichi down the street when he storms away in a huff.

"Oi wait up! Daichi! Oi!"

Daichi rambles on about how he wanted today to go perfectly and then Suga pulls him and hugs him again.

"Today was more than perfect. You were pretty perfect too"

Suga would bring his face down for a kiss and then squeeze Daichis hands and grin and hint that they should probably go back to his place because Daichis parents arent in and the rest is up to them.

All day today, his new boyfriend of one week, Kageyama has been in some sort of weird mood. It's their first valentines together, so Hinata had done some research and bought Kageyama chocolates. Unfortunately for Hinata, he didnt know Kageyama is...allergic to nuts and therefore couldn't eat it.

Practice was short that day so Kageyama decided to use the special date as...their official first date together. Hinata is still wondering why the heck his boyfriend is in a bad mood until he spots an arcade poster and teases Kageyama that he would beat him in all the games.

Challenge accepted.

They head to the arcade and after constant arguing about the other somehow cheating, they go to the coin slot machine because...its impossible to cheat on that game. Hinata spots an adorable keychain of a nose with kawaii eyes and tries his best to get it. He fails, watches Kageyama get it and when Kageyama does, Hinata has to scream at him that the keychain is not ugly, it's cute!

On their way home, Hinata is about to split ways from Kageyama when Kageyama gets all sad and moody.

"I'm not just saying it though! I'm serious!"

"Really?"

Hinata would nod with a smile.

"This is my favourite day with you!"

Kageyama would surprise him by tossing the nose keychain over and after listening to Kageyama have some sort of weird battle with himself, Hinata would try something they've never done before.

Kiss...

Except...they've never done it, Hinata doesnt know how to and he's too short to reach Kageyama. Kageyama leans down because Hinata is making some weird face and Hinata pushes himself up on his toes and kisses Kageyama on the cheek.

The lips are too far for their early stage relationship right now.

But his face turns scarlet and he cycles away home and turns around and laughs when he sees Kageyama wobble in his steps. Not bad for a first valentines.

So as soon as he wakes up, Kageyama NEEDS to plan out today since he and Hinata just got together last week. Only problem is...he's utterly clueless. What's he supposed to get Hinata? Flowers? Chocolates? Those are normal...if you're a girl.

Still, he's unsure but decides to just let today go with the flow. At school, Hinatas been commenting on his 'scary' face which, rude, it's the face he was born with. Hinata tries to give him chocolates but...hes allergic to those specific ones..oops.

He's still pretty much clueless, decides at the last minute that maybe he should do extra volleyball practice because Hinata likes that, only for Nishinoya to explain that he and Asahi are locking up instead. They havent been on a date yet so...maybe a date would be pretty good for today?

So on their walk after school, thankfully Hinata finds something for them to do! He finds a poster for a new arcade that's opened and he literally just called him a loser...

Challenge accepted!

Hinata somehow wins the air hockey game three times in a row, cheating obviously, until they both settle on a coin slot game. No way Hinata could cheat on that...

He doesn't, but now Hinata has a new motive and that's to get the most ugliest nose keychain in the world...it even has kawaii eyes on it, as if that'll make it look cute.

In the end, Hinata doesn't win the keychain, but he does instead. He keeps it for a while because...is he supposed to give it to him right now? Later?

They end up walking to a certain path that they'll split ways when Kageyama finally decides to hand over the ugly stupid keychain that makes Hinata smile so much.

"Yeah, just keep it, or throw it away, or keep it..."

And then Hinata would surprise him by making some sort of...weird face by widening his eyes and suddenly theres lips on his cheek and...wow, they technically just kinda kissed in some sort of weird way...

Before he knows it, Hinatas cycled away and he needs to walk home and...wow, his legs are so wobbly right now.

Thank God Hinata can't see his embarrassing smile right now.

Hopefully valentines will be the same next year.

She's not really bothered about valentines to be honest. She's just getting right into her studies and managing the volleyball team etc...

During school, she spots several couples acting all loved up because of the day and...well, she just passes by. She's not one for poking around in anyones personal business, even if it is just something silly like receiving a box of chocolates.

Her only thought right now is...why is she the manager of a ridiculous childish volleyball team?

Because it certainly looks like Tanaka is proposing to Nishinoya and the libero is hiding some sort of letter behind his back. Oh. Tanaka is using his girl voice...isnt it usually the guy who proposes?

Still, she cant help but let out an adorable giggle which attracts Tanakas attention and suddenly, he's bounding over towards her with his face flushed red. He shouts her name loudly, once exactly and then suddenly retracts and spins around and sprints out the hallway.

What...just happened?

Later, at practice, Kiyoko ends up getting a call from her mum, warning her that it's still quite dark at night so she was to be careful.

Tanaka, being the loud person with a heightened sense of hearing, decides to shout and declare that he'll walk her home and...well, maybe a bit of company would be nice?

Maybe she should put Tanaka out of his misery already...

Nah, she's way too playful like that.

"Maybe...maybe you can walk me home?"

And Tanaka? Well, he does his usual adorable cheer that he does and they're on their way! She refuses to let him hold her bag though, shes self independent that way.

Its decided as soon as the clock struck midnight and its valentines, but he decides that he wants to make today a day that Kiyoko will remember!

Obviously he'll get the bro advice from Nishinoya since he has also asked for some advice. So, he ends up heading to school, bumps into Nishinoya who is...screaming about a letter that was posted through his door that morning and Tanaka can only snort at the original poem that's been written inside.

He advises his bro that he should totally just let it play out, be all romantic and even does a simple drama performance for him to follow. And then...Kiyoko is standing there looking perfect as per usual and she blinks twice and suddenly, his feet have left the floor, ready to shout for Kiyoko to hear his confession!

Wait

Hes supposed to be all suave and romantic, especially on the most romantic day of the year. So he stops, clears his throat and spins around and sprints out of there, embarrassed! He was totally NOT cool!

Later at practice, he hears Kiyoko mention that they'll be finishing up soon and then answers her phone. Tanaka just so happens to be standing nearby and hears Kiyokos mother mention how dangerous the streets are because it's still quite dark. This could be his chance!

He could totally walk her home, right? At least occupy her?

"Oi! Kiyoko! I can walk you home if you want!"

For a second, it seems like shes gonna just ignore him again, but then she gives him the most adorable tiny smile ever and nods ever so slightly.

"Maybe...maybe you can walk me home?"

Then hes ready to run away because Kiyoko ignoring him is pretty hot but-hang on, she just said...

Yes!

"Spending valentines with Kiyoko!"

She smiles again and he notices her bag and holds a hand out.

"I'll carry your bag!"

"No thanks"

Where to begin?

Asahi ends up having a nightmare of a valentines! Hes spent every single day of being in Nishinoyas presence, debating whether he should confess to him or not. He ends up asking for Asahi and Sugas advice over the phone for several nights before he finally comes up with the idea.

A letter? That's pretty basic and even Nishinoya should understand the concept behind that. So he wrote one out, maybe the original poem was too much but he had too many things to say and a poem sounds like it should be enough to express his feelings.

He slides it into Nishinoyas foot locker and sprints away before the said boy comes in and catches him. Now he just needs to wait.

So naturally, in class, he cant concentrate. He cant focus on any of his schoolwork and Suga ends up flicking him on the back of the head with a rubber during class because he can literally see Asahi shaking that much...

Why did he ask Nishinoya to stay behind after practice again? Why did he write that? Nishinoya probably wants a different valentines. What if he rejects him? What if he decides that he just...oh god. What if he quits the team? Never speaks to him again? Could he be reading all of Noyas signals wrong?

Something hard hits the back of his head again and he turns around and theres Suga again with his criticising look. The teacher yells and he turns back around with an apology. How embarrassing.

Later, at practice, he's ready to freak out again because Kageyama asks Nishinoya if he and Hinata could lock up. They'd recently become a couple...what if Noya said yes? Asahi wouldnt be able to give his confession...

Thankfully, Noya says no with an apology and then a short explanation that he and Asahi would do it instead. Then Daichi is running over and patting Asahi on the back with a calm 'Try not to freak out. Dont worry, just worry about Suga if you do end up chickening out' and then hes away again!

When it's just the two of them, they clean up together, quietly until Nishinoya finally pulls out the letter from his bag and looks up at Asahi.

"This letter..."

And of course...he freaks out.

"Umm! Oh! It's just...you dont have to read it, well even though it looks like you already have, but it's not worth reading, I suppose you could just look at it as a joke if you want to, but even though it's real...I'm sorry if it wasted your time!"

And to his surprise, Nishinoya only laughs and wiggles the letter in his hand.

"It didn't waste my time, but...are you serious? About your feelings...about you liking me since I was a first year?"

"Mhmm! Of course! I just...sorry, that probably sounded creepy!"

"Eh? No! No of course not!"

"But it's the truth! I'm completely honest! You...you're the best person to have ever come into my life so...so please hear my confession! I...I love you Noya!"

He's pretty sure he hears Noya chuckle for a bit and he wishes he could see him, but suddenly tears are building in his eyes and the thought of rejection from Nishinoya of all people is enough to make him cry.

His body is suddenly falling forwards, Noya is falling backwards because hes grabbed onto him but Asahi is fast, so he loops his arms around Noya and straightens them up so they're standing. Noya grins and then pushes forwards for a hug and presses his forehead against Asahis forehead, his blonde fringe pushing against the aces headband. Asahi can only sigh in relief because thank god...he couldn't imagine going on in life if this turned out differently.

He's never really thought about valentines to be honest. He's always had one person in mind and he's pretty sure that's rude to try and confess to your upperclassmen. Sure he plays along with Tanaka to protect Kiyoko, but its more of a...let's protect the girl because guys are creepy predators kinda thing...

Anyways, he heads to school like a normal day, changes shoes and...is that a letter?

It totally is!

Someone just...this is definitely Asahis handwriting! This was a dream, right? If so, please dont wake him up!

He reads the inside, smiles at the cute poem and when he realises theres a message asking to stay behind after practice so they could talk, he fist pumps the air and rushes to find Tanaka.

He shows him the letter, asks for advice and all Tanaka does is simply tell him to let the day play it out, just like a volleyball game. He even gets down on one knee and pretends to propose, as if that'll happen today.

Still, he keeps it in mind, not for...future reasons...

He watches Tanaka sprint over to Kiyoko within seconds and then run away and remembers that he and Tanaka were on the phone last night. The future ace had declared that he wanted valentines to go perfectly for Kiyoko, so he would act like the perfect gentleman!

Still, he waves to Kiyoko and heads to class.

The rest of the day, he doesnt see Asahi which isnt much of a surprise since they're in different years. He has caught sight of Suga and Daichi kissing at some point and frowns.

If he and Asahi were to get together, there would surely be a lot of looks. People already mistook him as an elementary kid and Asahi as a grown man who is also apparently a delinquent. But hey, when was he to care about looks?

He looks away from Suga and Daichi in the distance and lightly pats his burning cheeks twice before shaking his head. He liked Asahi, no, he loved Asahi! He'd admired the man from day one!

So when it comes to the end of practice which is cut fairly short, he has to quickly explain to Kageyama that he and Asahi would be locking up instead. Kageyama looks slightly annoyed but hey, he always looks like that. He ends up showing Asahi the letter and of course, the big ball of anxiety starts to flip.

But in the end, Asahi confesses properly...reveals that he's liked Noya from day one and...

"I love you too you big baby! Oi! Why are you crying?! I accepted your confession! Baka!"

And then he lunges forwards to try and grab Asahi into a hug but they end up staggering for a bit and...god, he wishes Asahi would just stop crying! He does though, and they hug and Noya really wants to kiss him right now, but hes pretty sure the ace would faint if he did it right now. So he settles for a forehead touch, just so he can reassure Asahi that he's there and...he's not planning on going away anytime soon.

He's there, he's not disappearing and even when Asahi graduates, he knows they'll still be together, no matter what obstacle they face.