#plus i’m seeing my ex on thursday and i’ll probably sleep over

[callixton]

have i gone 40 hours without sleep yes. am i dangerous levels of sleep deprived and making poor decisions yes. am i taking advantage of that boy’s kindness yes. but also it’s true that i wasn’t feeling confident about making it into my dorm safely i was just expecting him to offer to walk me in not to invite me to sleep on his couch

[boldlyvoid]

Sugar, Honey, Ice Tea | Chapter 5-9

1Summary: Fix-it-fic: Dr. Y/L/N and Savannah Hayes have been best friends since their medical internship at Bethesda General. When she receives a frantic call that Derek's best friend is being transferred to the prison she works at, an unlikely friendship bubbles.

Eventually falling head over heels for the innocent man.

Warnings: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Prison, Prison Violence, Assault, Blood, Depression, Murder, Self-Hatred, Hurt Spencer Reid, Canon-Typical Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Drug Addiction, References to Drugs, Drug Use, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Romantic Tension, Forbidden Love, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Strangers to Lovers, Requited Love, Falling In Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Smut, past abusive relationship, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault

Word Count: 14.3K

1-4, 5-9, Epilogue

Chapter 5

Spencer agreed to a Thursday night game night in her office sometime last week, and she’s spent every day since then planning it out for him.

Learning that he really loved Tandoori chicken, making it from scratch at home and packaging it into a couple containers to bring into work. She followed a recipe from Pinterest, hoping it bared any resemblance to what he was used to, only changing full chicken to boneless bite size cutlets, because he couldn’t use a knife in the prison.

She got a chess set at the store, as well as a deck of playing cards for the Vegas boy. Rushing out her door early Thursday morning so she could stop and get a coffee and one of his favourite doughnuts too.

Deciding that she wasn’t going to tell him how she felt any time soon, just wanting to show him friendship and support until he was finally out of prison. Vowing to uphold her oath, he was a patient in her care, she would care for him as such until he wasn’t.

She carefully placed her lunchbox and the chess set on the security desk, letting them look through it as she waited. Taking out all the food from her bag, looking through the plastic to ensure she wasn’t sneaking in anything.

“It’s just my lunch for the next 2 days, I promise,” she smiled.

“I know, but I have to look anyway,” the nice man smiled. “Have a good day today Dr. Pat.”

“Thank’s, you too, officer Kyle,” she smiled, picking her things back up and heading past the gates.

Spencer was turning the corner towards the infirmary as she walked towards the door. Officer Wilkins holding him in handcuffs as he roughly walked Spencer to her office.

“Hey, hey, hey,” she stopped, looking at Wilkins like he was an idiot. “Un-cuff inmate Reid, he’s not a threat. Plus, he can hold some things for me.”

“Whatever,” he huffed, roughly taking the cuffs off Spencer's wrists before leaving. Not saying another word.

“What a dick,” she mumbled as she handed him the lunchbox.

“Good morning Spencer,” she changed her tone to match her growing smile.

He sighed, smiling back as he rubbed his wrists. “Good morning to you too, Y/N.”

She opened the infirmary door, walking past all the sleeping men in the care area. Unlocking her office before inviting Spencer in. “Sorry I was almost late,” she said softly, taking the chess set and a brown paper bag out of her purse.

She set it on Spencer's desk along with the coffee that was in her hand, “for all your help this week,” she smiled.

Spencer placed her lunchbox in her fridge, laying a hand on her back as he walked past her towards his desk. “You’re too kind to me,” he was bashful as always.

“I have something I wanted to talk to you about,” she closed the door softly, making sure the blinds on the doors window were closed as well.

“That doesn’t sound good,” he tried to joke as he sat down.

“I asked to help with your case, maybe give a fresh opinion, so Penelope sent me all the files but I haven’t opened them yet,” she sat on the edge of her desk. Trying to read his body language as he took out his donut.

He liked the pink frosting off his finger, nodding as he followed along. “Why not?”

“I wanted your permission,” she pressed her lips together in an awkward smiled. His eyes raising to meet hers, innocent as ever.

“Oh?”

“You’re very reserved, you have rules about what you share, I don’t want to break the trust we’ve built by looking into something so intimate,” she explained her thoughts. “It’s not fair for me to learn about the worst thing that’s ever happened to you, without you being the one to tell me.”

“What do you know already?” He asked softly, blinking at her as he patiently waited.

She smiled at him softly, grateful that he understood. “I know the 3 charges that you’re in on, and that you’re being framed.”

“I think I would prefer it if you read the file and just asked me questions. I don’t think I have the mental capacity to recite it all back to you today,” he was honest. Taking a sip of his coffee and looking away from her.

Giving up so much of himself to her so early in the day, she felt like he was finally comfortable with her.

She found the key to his thoughts and it opened just right, she could see the hurt that flowed through him, but she could also see the happiness. The side of him that he was afraid to bring out, in fear it would get him in more trouble.

“Okay,” she agreed. Sitting at her desk and finally opening the email form Penelope.

She read through his tox-screens, his drug history, his mental state. His first-hand accounts, witness statements, clues and findings his team had made. It all felt like the plot to a bad movie about revenge, possibly even female rage. But for what?

“I finished reading,” she said softly, brows furrowed as she chews the inside of her cheek. “Do you know anyone other than this Mr. Scratch guy who you’ve put away, wronged, lead on, or just pissed off?”

“Why?” He asked, clearly attached to the idea this was all Mr. Scratch’s doing.

“It feels like revenge, but very well planed. Like a women is mad at you so she found your weakness, I’ve done mean shit to exes in the past but this is insane. They knew you’d do anything for your mom, they knew your drug history, and the fact you might get schizophrenia one day, they wanted to drug you and make you think you did all this.”

Spencer stood then, listening to her words as he scrunched his face. Thinking as hard as he could, “can you call Penelope?”

“Yeah,” she nodded as she dialled her number, putting her on speaker phone.

“Well hello there, Love Doctor,” Penelope teased as she answered.

“Um hi, Spencer wanted to talk to you,” she panicked.

“Oh, sorry, how are you Spencer?”

Spencer looked so confused, “I’m good… Y/N and I were looking at the case files you sent-”

“Good, did you find anything?” Penelope cut in, eager to talk to him.

“Have you looked into everyone I’ve ever encountered on a case? Specifically women?” Spencer asked. “I told my lawyer and Emily that I remember a woman being there and helping, she must know me from a case too, like the other prison escapees he’s helped?”

“On it pretty boy, any specifics about her that you remember?” Penelope asked over the sound of her keyboard clicking away.

“Long brown hair, but it’s probably different now,” he added. “Everything else is dark, I didn’t see her face or any other features.”

“Alright, call me anytime Spence, I miss you,” Penelope said softly, changing her tone to a more sensitive one. “Take care of each other, my loves.”

“Love you,” they say at the same time. Looking at each other awkwardly after she hung up, leaving them to sit with their words alone.

Spencer was leaning so close to her she could feel his body heat radiating off him. Spencer placed his hand on her shoulder as he stood straight, towering over her as she looked up at him.

“I have patients to talk to, but I brought chess for you to teach me later,” she smiled up at him.

“Can’t wait,” he beamed a smile back.

She felt his hand rub the back of her blue scrubs lightly, pulling away as he walked back around to his desk. She watched him with careful eyes, wishing he would have stayed longer.

—

Normally at 4:30, Y/N would bring Spencer a tray of whatever the kitchen was serving her patients for dinner that night. Tonight, however, she walked into her office at 5 pm on the dot, closing the clinic for the night and putting all her attention on Spencer.

“So,” she smiled as she leaned against her office door, excitement radiating out of her. “A little birdie told me that you really like Indian food, Tandoori chicken to be exact…”

“No way?” He gasped as he turned around in his chair.

She nodded with a cheeky grin, “homemade so I could sneak it in.”

She took her lunch box out of her mini-fridge, opening it up to show him the 2 Tupperware containers. One for him, the other for her. She took the lids off and dished it onto 2 plates she keeps in the cabinet above the fridge.

Spencer grew more and more excited as she warmed it up, filling the room with a familiar smell. He was so happy, “I don’t know how to thank you for everything you do for me?”

“Come here,” she said softly, watching him walk towards her carefully.

She wrapped her arms around his middle, holding him in a hug. He carefully placed his hands on her back, holding her against his chest as he snuggled his cheek into her hair again.

“I’ll take hugs as payment from now on,” she pulled back from him as the microwaved beeped.

Taking a plastic spoon from the cutlery jar, she opened the microwave and handed him a plate. “Did you want to stay in here or go to the break room? I never use it cause I don’t have any co-workers, but it has a couch and a coffee table?”

“Okay,” he smiled. Taking the plate from her and waiting for her to warm up her own meal before taking a bite.

He was ever the gentleman.

Y/N reached back into her lunch box, taking out the package of naan bread, seeing Spencer’s eyes basically roll into the back of his head. “You thought of everything?”

“Bread is my life,” she laughed.

When her food was ready, she placed it on top of the chess box and led the way down to the break room. Spencer holding every door for her.

She flicked on the lights in the break room, watching them strobe before making that awful powering up frequency. She groaned, putting her food on the table before turning on a few lamps instead.

The room went from bright and anxious to relaxed and personal, the amber glow bouncing off the cream walls, it was nice. As nice as it could be in a prison. She never thought she’d be having a date at a prison.

That’s basically what this was, a date.

She made him dinner, they were going to play games, he was going to sit right beside her, close enough to kiss. She really wanted to, she’s thought about it a lot, his pink lips were perfect and she just wanted to see how they’d feel between her own.

But she wont.

“Dig in honey,” the name rolled over her tongue like it was always meant to.

She felt his eyes on her right away, realizing that she called him honey in a situation where he wasn’t crying, where he wasn’t vulnerable. She said it as a term of endearment, she couldn’t stop the embarrassment form settling in her veins.

She sat beside his softly, picking up her dinner and pretending it didn’t happen. “Thank you,” Spencer cut into the awkwardness.

“You’re welcome,” she said softly. Feeling like she could flip inside out at any moment.

From the corner of her eye she saw him take the first bite, closing his eyes as he appreciated the moment. His shoulders settled as he chewed, she could swear he almost moaned as he ate it. She has had the food in the cafeteria before, she understood his reaction.

“That good?” She asked, teasing him softly.

He nodded, silent as he took it all in. He took another bite, and another, she felt like he was going to get the hiccups at this rate but it was too cute to stop. He was like a stray dog eating inside for the first time in months, it made her happy and then a little sad.

He stayed quiet the whole time. Crossing his legs as he sat on the couch, the plate pulled in close to his chest as he shovelled spoonfuls of food into his mouth. She sat there admiring him as he did so, falling more and more every time she glanced at him.

“That was delicious,” Spencer said as he stood, placing his plate on the counter across the room. “Are you done?” He asked, taking her plate as she reached it out to him.

“Yeah, thanks,” she watched him carefully, always wanting to help her in whatever way he could.

He didn’t sit on the couch when he came back, instead, sitting on the floor on the other side of the coffee table, taking the chess set out and beginning to set it up. Not wanting to miss a moment of the freedom he felt when he was with her.

“So, chess is pretty easy to learn,” he said, looking up at her through thick eyelashes as he spoke. “Do you know any of the rules yet?”

“Um, I know where they all go, I know that you can’t go through other pieces and the horse gets to jump?” She tried to remember all the way back to grade 4, the last time someone explained the rules to her.

He was so soft with her, explaining the rules and showing her what to do. His hand would lightly brush over hers occasionally, eventually, he’d just guide her hand over the pieces that she should move. It was so nice to just be alone with him, knowing they were both allowed to be happy.

The room was mostly silent, only the sound of Spencer's advice and her giggle as she still wasn’t grasping the concept of the game.

“I just like, don’t care about the rules?” She couldn’t stop giggling at the fact she wasn’t picking up on anything he said.

Spencer laughed, it was deep and hearty, right from his soul, “then how do you want to play?”

She picked up the queen and moved it to a random spot, “I want to put this here and fight your guy. That’s why I don't get this, what is my XP? What are their skills? I was raised on Pokemon, honey.”

He made his way back to the couch, sitting closely beside her. “Well sugar pie, do you have any other games you want to play?”

She couldn’t stop herself from leaning in and pressing her lips against his. His hands wrapped around her waist on instinct as they connected.

It was everything she imagined. Soft, gentle, refreshing. Like a cold glass of ice tea on a hot summers day. She wanted more, never letting up as she kissed him.

Spencer was the one to pull off first, “shit,” she whispered, covering her mouth with her hand as she stared at him, horrified.

He laughed, smiling at her softly. “It’s okay,” he promised, “I’ve wanted to do that for a while.”

She doesn’t stop him from pulling her back in, holding her hand on his cheek as he kissed her again. Hungrier than before, Spencer’s tongue was on a mission. He tastes like dinner, but with his own Spencer difference.

Kissing him felt like a fairytale coming true.

She forgot where they were, his hands on the back of her scrubs and her hands in his hair as their mouths clashed. She started to lay back on the couch, pulling him down on top of her.

“We can't,” he pants against her lips. Regretting it as he pulls away from her.

“Sorry, this was unprofessional I know,” she tried to play it off.

Spencer pulled her back in, flush against his chest once more. “No, I don’t regret it. It’s just, I’m not ready.”

“Oh,” she says softly. Then it clicks, “oh, oh my god, Spencer I’m so sorry I forgot. I didn’t mean to push you into anything,” she worries, running her hands over his arms softly.

He shakes his head, “you didn’t. I want to, believe me, I just don’t think I can handle the after part…”

“I cried for 3 hours after I had sex again, after everything,” she told him in complete honesty. Not even Savannah or Derek knew that.

“You don’t have to-“

“I want to,” she assured him. “You shouldn’t have to be the only vulnerable one here, I want you to know about me.”

“You don’t have to tell me the details, I don’t want to think about someone hurting you,” he whispered, his eyes innocently studying her face for how she was feeling.

“Okay, so here’s everything else,” she was still holding his face in her hands. Rubbing her thumb over his cheeks. “I had 2 moms and a little sister, and I was raised in Boston. I met Savannah in 2004, I worked with her until a few years ago. She’s my best friend, Derek is like my big brother.”

She gave him the basics, “I don’t have a dad, my mom used the same donor for me and my sister, so I’ve never really felt safe around men because I never knew many.”

“Understandable,” he smiled softly. “what’s your mom like?”

“She died when I was 26,” she pressed her lips together awkwardly. “I haven’t talked to her wife since then, my other mom, she remarried not long after. I think she was cheating on my mom when she was going through chemo.”

“I’m so sorry,” Spencer whispered.

“I can relate to a lot of the stories I know about you already. My mom was my world, I don’t know my dad. I’ve been hurt by people, I’ve lost a lot of myself while trying to help others,” she brushed her nose against his softly. Letting him know she wasn’t pulling back any time soon. “Who you are is not what you did, or what you’ve been through.”

He kisses her again softly. Breathing in through his nose lightly, his hand on her back pulling her in closer and closer. He didn’t want to let her go, and she was more than happy staying in his embrace forever.

He pulled back softly, “I lied to you.” He whispered against her lips.

“When?” She asked, scared to know the answer.

“I do remember you from Derek’s wedding, he told me about you a long time ago. I told him I was ready for dating again when you told him about Mark,” he couldn’t look at her.

“That’s not a huge lie,” she smiled softly. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking at you all night, with that little blond boy. You two were so sweet, Mark got really mad at me for staring at you actually.”

“Derek told me when he hurt you, he came to my apartment right after so he wouldn’t go and kill him,” Spencer’s voice was so low she had to stare at his lips to understand him. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” she shook her head softly, kissing the tip of his nose. “Thank you.”

“I don’t want to go back to my cell,” he whispered as he pressed his forehead against hers.

Breaking her heart in the process.

She kissed his cheeks and his lips a few times, peppering kisses to his soft face to make up for it. “We can’t do this again until you’re free,” she whispered.

“I understand.”

“So you better think long and hard about this woman you remember so I can track her down and shove her in that cell instead,” Y/N’s stern voice made him smile.

“Thank you,” he replied again, hugging her the way he promised he would thank her from now on.

—

For being 9 pm on a spring night, it was rather warm in the Vermont parking lot. She left the prison a while ago, not able to leave Spencer’s gravitational pull yet as she sat there, staring at the prison thinking about him alone in his cell instead of pressed against her chest for the rest of the night.

Thinking about the feeling of Spencer’s hands on her body and his tender lips. Her hand over her mouth as she remembered how his bottom lip ghosted over her own, the anticipation was enough to light her on fire.

She took out her phone and called Derek, knowing he would put her on speaker if they were already in bed for the night. Really needing her best friends right now.

“Hey kick-ass, how are you doing today?” Derek’s voice was overly cheery, “Hey!” Savannah added in the background.

“I’m in love with him.”

Chapter 6

She barely slept anymore. Waking up at 6 am every morning without her alarm clock, her heart physically aching to return to Spencer's side after a night without him. She felt like a love-sick school girl, wanting to be with him all day even if they had nothing to say. Just looking at him was enough to make her happy.

A few weeks passed. Weeks filled with smiles and laughter, singing and reading, inside jokes and shared jello cups. She was so madly in love with him, hugging him every morning when he arrived and every night before he left. Keeping her word, kissing him on the cheek every so often instead.

She started a routine of picking up a coffee and a donut for Spencer every single Thursday, worried that he probably thought about his case all night, yet again. Which only kept her up worrying all night about him, wondering if he was doing okay all alone.

Only getting sleep when she remembered that he had a photo of her, his mom, Derek and hank with him. He’d be okay.

She walked into the infirmary to find Jerry and Mike waiting for her with a guard. Mike bleeding all down his face while Jerry held his clearly broken hand.

“You two are going to be the death of me,” she sighed. Putting all her things in her office before coming back to care for them.

She excused the guard, telling him she had it from here. They wouldn’t put up any more fights with her, they looked up to her like a momma bear, and they were her terrible cubs.

“It is 7:33 am, who the fuck did you have to fight this early?” She whisper yelled at them. Not wanting to wake Leo in the care ward, “who is worth this?”

“You don’t want to know,” Mike said under his breath.

“Well clearly he’s not here, is he dead or in violent crimes? If you two fucked up our plan of me helping you during parole next year, I’m going to be pissed,” she tried her best to entice the answers out of them.

“It was Shaw,” Jerry said softly. “He was planning to hurt the new guy, he’s all fake buddy-buddy with him.”

“Excuse me?” She panicked.

“He’s been talking to Milos at night in the locker room, Wilkins lets him out of his cell and into gen-pop,” Mike carried on the story as she tried to clean the blood off his eyebrow.

“What are they going to do to Spence?”

“Spence?” Jerry teased her, poking her side. “I didn’t know he had a nickname already. Why haven’t we met him yet?”

“I’ve kept him locked away to be safe, I’m going to find a way to keep him here at night,” She said softly. “He’s best friends with my brother, I can’t let him get hurt.”

“So you knew him in freedom land?”

She nodded, “a little.”

“All you need is a bandaid,” she changed the subject as she reached into her kit. “And Jerry I’m going to have to set your fingers back in place, if you scream in my face, I will kick you in the nuts.”

They laughed at her fake tuff guy act, never actually being able to hurt them. They were her buddies, giving her a big hug after she finished with them. Getting them both a pudding and telling them to stay put for the day if they wanted to.

Spencer found her in the lab when he arrived, she knew it was him when the door opened, no one else had a passkey to get in. She was writing down some numbers on a chart when he wrapped his arms around her from behind.

She dropped her pen and turned around in his grasp, holding his face in her hands immediately as she pulled him into a quick kiss.

“I thought you said I couldn’t do that again till I’m free?” He asked softly. Kissing her a second time as he finished.

She smiled against his lips, “you’re free when we’re alone.”

He kissed her harder. His hands around her waist as he picked her up slightly. Twirling her around as they kissed, she laughed against his skin. Unable to stop herself from smiling as she held onto him.

She kissed him one last time as he put her down on the floor, “I have a coffee and donut for you in my office.”

“You’re too good to me, Sugar Pie.”

“Anything for you, Honey Bunch,” she bit her lip as she smiled at him again. So absolutely overwhelmed with love for him.

“I actually have a serious question to ask you,” his tone changed, making her concerned.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m still trying to figure out more about that night, and I think I want to try exposure therapy,” he explained. “I was wondering if you’d help me get high, so I can remember what happened in the same mindset.”

“Okay,” she nodded softly. “I can book you in for the night here, say you’re under observation, and I’ll stay here with you.”

“Are you sure?”

She kissed him softly again, looking up at him with a smile after. “If you’re sure about it, I’ll help you. But we need some ground rules.”

“Of course,” he agreed. Letting go of her as she stepped back, leaning against the counter now.

“No kissing, nothing like that, we’ll do it in my office so you can be alone and then later you’ll sleep in the observation room. Leo is in there, he’s harmless and sleeps all night on his morphine anyway,” she explained. “I’m not going to take advantage of you, I don’t want you to regret it. It’s going to be hard to sober up again once you get a taste of euphoria in here.”

He nodded along as she set the rules, “those are good. Thank you.”

“They drugged you with heroin, and while I know where to get some, I’m not letting you do that,” she laughed. “I have Dilaudid in pills and liquid morphine.” Letting him pick his poison.

“The pills will be fine,” he said softly.

“Alright,” she smiled. “And if you want, when you get out I can take you to a meeting? You’ll need to talk to someone other than me, someone who gets it.”

“You’ll stay with me after all this?”

“As long as you let me,” she felt her heart grow 3 sizes at the way his puppy dog eyes stared back at her. “Go have your breakfast and I will come to see you soon, okay honey?”

His smile was glorious, she could feel the love radiating off him as he looked at her. It felt wonderful, knowing at that moment her feelings weren’t one-sided. That he wanted her just as bad as she wanted him. He was going to be good to her.

—

She had mike and Jerry help her move the couch from the break room and into her office, allowing them to meet Spencer, finally. It was awkward at first, two big muscle men telling him how much they also loved their Sugar.

“Should we tell him?” Mike nudged Jerry.

“What?” Spencer asked softly, sitting at his desk on the other side of the room, really not enjoying their alpha energy.

“Shaw, Milos and Wilkins are all secretly buddies, they were planning to hurt you and so Mike and Jerry beat Shaw up in the yard,” she scrunched her face as she explained it, not ready for his reaction.

“How?”

“After they cut that kid's throat, they wanted to get you to run heroin for them. But you ended up in here, we heard them in gen-pop last night saying they wanted to get you,” Jerry explained as he played with the bandages on his hand. “He won't be out of the violent offender's infirmary for a while.”

“Thank you,” he replied to them with a pressed-lipped smile. “I need to call my team about the case.”

That was their queue to leave, Y/N patting them on the back for the help, telling them they could stay with Leo or go back to the yard, she didn’t care. They just couldn’t be in her office for this.

Spencer looked a little pissed off. “I didn’t ask them to do that,” she said, defensively.

“I’m not mad at you,” he shakes his head softly as steps into her space. “You’re the only person I can trust in here.”

She placed her hand on his chest softly, “call Penelope. Take your time on the phone with the team.” She handed him her cell phone, “FaceTime them if you want. See their faces, it’ll be okay.”

He hugged her, a silent thank you. She ran her hands over his back as she pressed her face into his neck. Holding back every instinct to tell him she loved him as she pulled away.

“I’ll be back soon, okay?”

“Okay,” he smiled. Taking her phone, “how do I?”

She couldn’t help laughing, “here,” she dialled Penelope’s cellphone number and hit the FaceTime button.

Seeing her beautiful, bright and bubbly face smile as she answered. “Hey! Oh my god, hold on,” they watched as she got up and ran down a hallway.

Spencer was instant giggles and smiles, a side of him she’s never seen before. True, pure love. This was his family, these were his people. She could see herself fitting into his little world one day.

“Guys! It’s Spencer!” She yelled as she ran into another room.

“What’s wrong?” “Is he okay?”

Suddenly she turned the phone sideways to show all his co-workers. “Hi!” He waved to them.

“Spence!” Emily and JJ cheered, “oh you look so good.”

“I feel good, how are you all?” He asked softly, taking her phone and sitting down at his desk.

She watched him softly from the door, slipping out when she saw his attention was fully on his past life. She walked down the hall towards the lab, hearing his laughter through the walls.

—

She placed 2 pills in a plastic cup, taking an apple juice and jello from the fridge for Spencer. She placed it on his desk 20 minutes before his shift ended, giving him a little space to decide when he wanted to. He told her that he get’s cold when he comes down from a high, so she leaves a fluffy blanket and a pillow on the couch before slipping back out of the room.

She returned to the care unit, looking over Leo as he got ready for the night. Administering his meds and wishing him a good night. She closed his curtain, so when Spencer eventually went to bed he wouldn’t be disturbed.

When she finally settled into her office for the night, Spencer was in the dark. Sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket. “Hey,” he said softly.

“How are you?” She asked softly. Closing the door behind herself. Locking it and making sure all the blinds were closed.

“It’s going to hit soon,” he said softly. Suddenly embarrassed and closed off, hiding from her as he laid down.

She didn’t want to bother him, sitting at her desk with her reports. The light from the computer is just enough to see what she was looking at. She glanced at him every few minutes to make sure he was okay.

He enjoys it at first, a blissed-out look on his face as his head is tossed back against the couch. She knows the exact euphoria he’s feeling, she understood perfectly why someone would want to escape like that.

Then his face changes as he starts to hate it, he mumbles to himself with his eyes squeezed shut, she could see him gripping the sheets as he tries to force himself to remember.

She’s uncomfortable watching it, feeling like an intruder. She tried to only focus on her work, flipping through emails and Twitter, scrolling through Facebook for the first time in months to preoccupy her mind.

He was like that for at least an hour.

She could hear his teeth chattering as he came down, just like he said would happen. “You okay, honey?”

“Y-yeah,” he tried to speak through the shaking. “C-can we cuddle?”

“Yeah,” she whispered, turning on her desk lamp before joining him on the couch.

She pulled him up into a sitting position, sitting where his head once was and letting him settle into her lap. She ran her hands through his hair, combing through the locks as she shushed him. Running her hand up and down his back in a tender motion, he snuggled into her leg.

“I’m not that high anymore,” he says softly.

“I know, it’s okay if you are. I’m not going anywhere tonight.”

“I love you,” he whispers.

It makes her stop. Her whole body stills at the words, he wanted to clarify so she’d know it wasn’t a spur of the moment thing. She closes her eyes and squeezes them shut, biting her lip as she tries not to burst into tears.

He felt it too.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, “sit up.” She instructs him softly.

She laid down against the couch then, waiting for him to snuggle into her side. Wrapping the blanket around them both as they found the most comfortable position.

“Sorry,” he whispered against the crook of her neck.

“It’s okay, it just feels wrong for me to say it back right now. I feel the same, believe me, Spencer.” She wanted to assure him to the best of her ability. “But you’re still an inmate in my care, I can’t. Not yet.”

“You don’t have to,” he pulled back to look her in the eyes, his own still droopy from how tired the drugs made him. “I’m going to love you regardless.”

She broke her own rules. Kissing him softly, holding him close to her, under the blanket where both their body heat was trapped. She had never felt safer in her entire life.

Spencer only crawling into that bed in the care ward when he woke up to her alarm the following morning.

Chapter 7

There’s someone banging on her office door just a little after 8 am. She was in the middle of putting a new pair of scrubs on over her long-sleeve undershirt, the banging on her door doesn’t stop until she opens the door.

“What?” She yells at them.

It’s Officer Wilkins. “Where is inmate Reid? We have a visitor for him.”

“No one is scheduled to see him today?”

“There is now. Where is he?” The man towered over her. Trying his best to intimidate her.

“Care ward. I’ll get him. You can go wait in the waiting room,” she pushes past him. Watching him stumble as he hits the wall.

“He’s not worth dying over,” he whispers under his breath.

She doesn’t leave Reid’s side as Wilkins attempts to escort him to an interrogation room. Y/N stands in the observation room as Spencer waits, cuffed to the table. Looking through the mirror at each other, only he couldn’t see her. He just knew she would be there.

“Mom?” Spencer’s shocked voice breaks her out of her thoughts as she sees Diana walking into the room.

A dark-haired woman she’s never met before escorting her in. Y/N whips her phone out to take a quick photo before running back to her office as quickly as she can.

Y/N: I need you to check on Cassie, Diana’s nurse. Someone I don’t know just brought Diana to the prison.

She attached the photo she took, setting her phone down to looking through the visitor's logs on her computer. Wanting to know the name of the woman accompanying Diana.

“I’m sorry,” the familiar voice says from her doorway.

She looks up at him from her desk. Wilkins is stepping into her space with a look of guilt, taking his baton off his belt.

“You don’t have to do this,” she backed up against the wall, trying to keep as much distance from him as possible.

“I have to,” his tone changed. Like a personality switch, his eyes darkened as he charged at her.

She ran around the desk, watching him follow. Punching her in the face, causing her to fall back against the couch, she didn’t want him to get on top of her. Dropping to the carpeted floor as he dove onto the couch.

She crawled on the floor towards the door as he tried to get up. Standing as fast as she could, roundhouse kicking him in the face with a grunt. Her foot hit his jaw at just the right angle, rendering him unconscious.

She reached for his cuffs as soon as he hit the floor, “Leo!! Help!” She screamed down the hall.

She heard bare feet running down the hall, followed by the sound of rubber on linoleum. “Sugar??” Mike and Jerry yelled as they followed.

“Watch him,” she insisted once the cuffs were on him. “Hurt him if you have to.”

She took the second pair of cuffs off Wilkins's belt before running out of the room, her lip busted and bleeding down her neck.

She ran down the hall towards Spencer, busting into the room and knocking the nurse to the ground. Struggling to get her onto her stomach, “stop struggling, who the fuck are you?”

“Get off me!” She screamed in return.

Y/N cuffed her and pulled her to her feet, pushing her against the stone wall.

“What is going on?” Spencer stood up, cuffed to the table so he couldn’t help.

“Wilkins just attacked me, Diana wasn’t supposed to be here,” she said over her shoulder in Spencer’s direction. “So I’ll ask again,” she whispered in the woman's ear as she pushed her against the wall harder. “Who, the fuck! Are you?”

“He knows me,” she spat out.

Y/N ripped her off the wall, making her look at Spencer who was shocked, speechless as he tried to remember her face. “Who is she?”

“She told me Cassie was fired, she’s been with me all morning?” Diana tried to explain, slightly freaking out.

“I sent her photo to Penelope, I need a guard,” Y/N said, hauling the unknown women into the hall with her.

—

The prison was put on lockdown as they tried to figure out this security breach. Wilkins and the nurse being held in prison custody as they waited for the BAU team to fly in.

Figuring out that her name was Lindsay Vaughn, Spencer remembered as much as he could about her. How he tried to save her dad, losing him to his carnal need to kill. Lindsay following closely in her daddy's footsteps.

Diana sat at Spencer’s desk, Mike and Jerry stand watch at the door. Y/N was sitting on top of her desk in front of Spencer, it was his turn to run alcohol over her cuts. Holding her face in his hands as he cared for her.

“I'm sorry,” he mouths the words at her. Not wanting his mother to overhear them.

She nods in response, unable to smile as the cut on her lips stings. All things considered, she could have been in a lot worse condition if it wasn’t for Derek and her training.

She wants to kiss him, she can tell he’s looking over her shoulder at his mom. Waiting to make sure she’s not looking before he leans in a little closer.

Pressing their lips together as silently as possible, his eyes still on her’s as they did so. It’s the most tender kiss she’s ever had, “I’m okay Spence,” she said softly as he pulled back.

“I’m still sorry you were dragged into this,” holding her against his chest softly.

From where she was sitting on top of her desk, she placed her head on his chest, holding him as close as she could, his cheek resting on her head. She wrapped her legs around him, not wanting to let him go, ever.

Needing the comfort he brought her, now more than ever.

When Derek and she started training again it was mostly to help her feel safe. To know what to do if it happened again. She didn’t ever expect it to, thinking it was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. That she’d learn from it and then she wouldn’t be in this situation again, being punched in the face by a man.

She started to cry, the throbbing pain in both her face and her foot taking over as the adrenaline dissipated, she was too overwhelmed to do anything more. He let her cry against him, rubbing his hand on her back as he kissed her forehead.

She couldn’t wait for him to get out of here, and she was going to leave with him.

—

Derek is the first to burst through the door. Wrapping Spencer up in the biggest hug she’s ever seen him give. Rocking Spencer back and forth in his grasp as he kissed Spencer's cheek a few times.

He pulled back, holding Spencer's face in his hands. Smiling so he didn’t cry, “they’re dropping the charges.”

“You’re kidding?”

“Nope,” Derek shakes his head adding, “You’re free.” Expecting Spencer to hug him again.

Instead, Spencer turns to Y/N and pulls her into a kiss. She’s startled at first, eyes wide open as Spencer’s hands find her waist and pulls her right up against him.

She can't help but settle against him. Holding his face in her hands as she kisses him back. He picks her up slightly, spinning her around with his face buried in her neck as she yelps.

Everyone in the room watching him celebrate with her in shocked silence.

He placed her back on the ground, kissing her one last time. “You did it, Spence,” she smiles at him.

“We did it.”

She hears someone clearing their throat. Both of them turning to see the Warden as well as the entire BAU team standing in her doorway. But they don’t pull apart, Spencer’s hand stays on her side as they wait to get yelled at.

“I quit,” Y/N said before he could say anything to her, “and I might sue.”

“I’m suing for sure,” Spencer added.

“We’re terribly sorry for the condition of your stay Doctor Reid. And Doctor Y/L/N, I’ll never be able to make it up to you. I’m incredibly sorry for what Wilkins did,” the warden tried to cover his ass from a bureau lawsuit.

“Too late for that,” Emily added. Stepping into the room more. “Doctor Reid will be leaving with us, now.”

“Understood,” the Warden hurried out of the room before any more damage could be done.

Everyone took a turn hugging Spencer then. A handful of them even hugging Y/N as well.

Emily wrapped Y/N up in a hug, rubbing her back the way she would all those years before. “Thank you, you have no idea what he means to us.”

“I think I do,” she laughed against her. “If that’s not weird?”

“Not at all,” she pulled back, looking at Y/N with her big beautiful eyes, her bangs pushed out of the way so she could take a good look again. “You two are good together.”

She smiled, “thanks Em.”

“We need to fill him in on everything, will you stay with Diana?” Emily asked.

“Of course, I’m just going to be packing up some things anyway,” she said as she turned to Spencer. “Have fun with your friends, honey.”

“Thanks, sugar,” he kissed her on the cheek before walking out. Everyone whistling and hollering at the boldness Dr. Reid had developed in prison.

They all filed out after him, she watched the door with a soft smile as they wandered down the hall, Spencer taking them to the break room so they could chat.

“Thank you, Y/N,” Diana’s small voice came from Spencer’s desk.

“Oh, Diana,” she smiled. “Can I give you a hug?”

Diana nodded as she walked over to her, wrapping her up in a hug, much like how Spencer would. She can imagine Spencer’s hugs once feeling like this, imagining him small and shy, holding her slightly. Unlike his more beefy, relaxed form since being in prison.

“He means the world to me too,” she says softly as Diana pulls away.

“You saved him, if he didn’t have you he might not still be my soft and sweet little Spencer,” Diana patted her shoulder. “Thank you.”

“Thank you for making him,” she laughed slightly. “He’s a wonderful man, I have a feeling you played a big role in that.”

Her smile was just like his. The smile of a mother, someone who was going to love him forever, maybe she’d love her too. Y/N felt a little emotional, this could be her family one day.

Chapter 8

There was a lot of information to process as she sat at the BAU round table.

Learning the entire plot of some women’s revenge against Spencer, just how much Wilkins and Lindsay were involved, the crazy scheme they planned and how terribly it would have ended if she wasn’t there.

Spencer, on the other hand, was visiting this Cat person in prison. The one who orchestrated it all, the one who was obsessed with Spencer, the love of her life, to the point she might be having his baby. He had some things to settle with her.

He was on edge before he left, going with Derek and JJ while Y/N stayed back with Diana. David Rossi had even offered to let them all stay at his guest house later that night, seeing as Spencer’s apartment was a crime scene.

Lindsay murdered Cassie, leaving her dead body on Spencer’s apartment floor. Ruining the place he was so desperate to return to.

She was a little out of it. Trying to think of everything that happened and everything she would have to do in the next few days. Compiling a list in her mind as the anxiety bubbled in her gut.

She needed a new job and a new place to live. First, she’d have to go back to Vermont to pack, and she’d have to find a way to support her boys on Parole. And Mike and Jerry.

She put her hands over her face and rested against the table. Overwhelmed with everything, her face still hurting, the lights were too much, she was tired.

Then she was crying softly.

“Hey,” Emily rubbed her back softly. “Shhh, it’s okay, what’s wrong Y/N?”

She sat up and wiped her eyes with a small laugh, embarrassed that her kinda ex-girlfriend was comforting her. “I’m stressed?” She answered, not even really sure herself.

Emily smiled while she nodded, looking so different now than she did back when they first met. Older, but in a beautiful way, gracefully becoming who she was always meant to be. “I get it, believe me.”

She remembered Derek saying she ‘died’ once. How they buried her casket and how pissed they were when they found out she was actually alive. Y/N only knew Emily re-born, as they called her.

She was always caring, always wanted to comfort and make people happy. It was the way she coped with hurting them all, but it carried on past the team. It carried on to strangers, victims, sometimes even unsub’s.

And most definitely Y/N.

There was a part of Y/N that wonders what loving Emily would have been like; if it would have felt half as good as loving Spencer. Or would it be better? She’d never really know, but she could imagine it would have been nice.

“How can we help?” Emily asked, still as wonderful as ever.

“I need a new job,” she laughed. “Can Penelope use her mad skills to find a reputable business in need of a doctor around here?”

“Are you moving back to Virginia?” She smiled at the thought.

“Yeah,” Y/N nodded, a smile growing on her face. “I’m kind of attached to Spencer now.”

“Good, maybe Derek can help you find a place, he has like, what 7? Right now that he’s fixing up?” Emily threw out ideas. “You’ll get the ball rolling soon, it’ll all be fine.”

“Thank you,” she said softly. “For not giving up on him, I know you would never but, I was worried he had lost all hope and you never did. Thank you.”

Emily hugged her again, not saying anything. Y/N knew there was nothing to thank her for, this was a family. They would kill for each other if they needed to.

“Let’s go see Penelope,” Emily replied as she pulled away. Standing and extending a hand for Y/N.

The BAU offices were so interesting, many people running around to get jobs done before the end of the day as the main team chilled. It was like any other office she was in; controlled chaos and hierarchy.

Diana was sitting with Penelope in her office, flipping through a scrapbook while eating a jello cup. It made her smile to see it ran in the family.

“Hey,” Penelope cheered as she noticed them.

“I was just going to ask for some help with something, I see you’re busy,” Y/N awkwardly commented on the situation.

“Oh, we’re not,” Diana said. “I was showing her photos of Spencer. Would you like to see them?”

“I’d love to, um while I’m here, Penelope would you be willing to help me search for a good job?” She asked a lot mousier than Spencer would have if he was asking her for something.

“Of course, what are we looking for?” She wheeled to her main computer, cracking her knuckles as she got ready to look.

“Um, anyone hiring a GP close to here, I’m willing to go all the way to DC for work,” she explained. “I just want a place where I won't get punched again,” she tried to laugh at the trauma.

“The sanatarium is hiring, they’ve got good ratings and not a lot of patient complaints, they’re looking for a physician to care for the elderly members of the program,” Penelope explained as she clicked through screen after screen of info.

“That would be nice,” she smiled towards Diana. “Did you like the one you were at?”

“Oh yes,” Diana mused. “I had many friends there, I miss them and the social aspect. For a bunch of loons, I really loved the company.” She laughed at herself.

“I send the link to you,” Penelope smiled. “Now let me see his little baby bum again that one is my favourite, he’s so funny,” she leaned back in close to Diana.

All the pictures were priceless. Seeing Spencer grow up, page after page, every award and accomplishment displayed proudly. It made her miss her family, the love that a mother could bring to her life.

She got a little emotional, trying to nonchalantly wipe the tear off her cheek as she watched Diana flip a page.

“Are you okay?” She asked softly.

Y/N laughed, “yeah I just miss my mom.” She scrunched her nose so that the tears stayed in, waving her hand in front of her face as she tried to blink the tears back.

“Where is she?” An innocent question opening the floodgates.

“She had cancer,” Y/N cried softly. Not noticing as Emily and Penelope left the room. Giving them a space to bond.

“She died when I was 26,” she explained.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” Diana placed her hand on Y/N’s back as she rubbed her softly. “Do you have any other family?”

“My moms are gay, well. After my mom died I stopped talking to her wife, yes she raised me but she hurt my mom too much for me to love her like a parent,” Y/N unloaded her trauma onto Diana, it must be genetic to find comfort in the Reids.

“Spencer never had a father either,” Diana related to her. “After William left it was just us, and Spencer stepped up to being the man of the house. He’s always been thrown into situations where he has no control but he needs to make the decisions. You’re probably the best person he could be with, he doesn’t have to take care of you.”

“Cause I baby him,” she laughed as she wiped stray tears off her cheeks. “He’s pretty wonderful, you did a fantastic job. Both of you did, look at the love you have. This is a perfect family.”

She gestured to the book of photos, seeing the love beaming off Diana’s face as she held a 12-year-old Spencer in her arms. Braces, on his face, thick glasses, long hair. He was adorable.

“You’re welcome to join,” Diana offered softly. “I’ve always wanted a daughter.”

“Why didn’t you?” She asked softly.

“Why have more when you can stop at perfection,” she smiled, the same wonderful smile Spencer had.

“That he is,” she agreed. “Thank you for him.”

“Thank you, I mean it when I say you saved him,” Diana’s serious look making Y/N cry again.

“I know,” she cried. “And I’d do it again.”

In a heartbeat.

—

Rossi had 3 rooms ready for use in his guest house. Only 2 were ever used during their stay. They spent a few nights recovering together, helping Diana into a new routine for a few days while trying to just spend as much time as possible together out in the real world.

Rossi’s property was huge, never-ending even. He had lake access, ponds with ducks, fields and fields of long grass topped with flowers. It was like a dream getting to explore it together.

Happiness hit her like a freight train, smacking her in the chest and knocking the wind out of her.

She blinked and suddenly she had been waking up in Spencer’s arms for a week straight. Going on adventures together, waiting for him with a coffee outside his NA meetings, holding him all night long.

He had a hard time adjusting to a real bed again, it was too soft. He spent most of his time with his head on Y/N's chest, letting her rub his back slowly as she kissed his head, helping him drift off to sleep every single night. Causing her to fall deeper and deeper in love with him.

Every day beside him was a blessing, no longer was he a dog trapped in a cage. He was free, running with her through the fields like wild horses.

She woke up with him still snuggled into her, arm around her waist, legs tangled together, his face right in the crook of her neck. His hot breath on her skin being the thing that finally woke her up.

Absentmindedly running her fingers through his hair, eyes still closed as she woke up. Snuggling her cheek against the top of his head, causing him to pull her in tighter. Both of them slowly coming alive again.

“I love you,” her voice coarse from sleeping with her mouth open, dry as she licked her lips. It was the only thought that came to her mind. Not even realizing it was the first time she’s said it to him.

Spencer kissed her neck softly, “I love you.”

She couldn’t believe the happiness she was feeling, almost positive that even in her saddest moments she still loved him just this much. He was everything, even under all the scares and trauma, he was the most wonderful person in her whole world. And she was beyond blessed to be holding him in her arms.

The sun was barely up yet, having fallen asleep around 10 pm last night, they were up way earlier than they expected. It was so nice, the deep orange light of the morning sun creeping through the window behind the bed.

“Do you want to go watch the sun come up?” She asked softly.

“Yeah,” he nodded softly. Sitting up with her to get ready.

They put on track pants and sweaters and shoes, grabbing a few blankets and heading outside. A few minutes of walking behind Rossi’s house led them towards a beautiful little pond, they laid out 2 blankets over the dew-soaked grass before cuddling on top of it.

The birds were performing for them, the clouds were cleaning into the most beautiful morning blue sky she had ever seen. She couldn’t help herself from holding him tighter against the blanket.

The sun shined on the water, casting beautiful pinks and oranges across the surface as it stretched into the sky. A few ducks followed their mommas in the May morning breeze, quacking in agreement as they swam across the pond. Playing a game of following the leader.

It was a dream, she was sure of it. It was all too perfect to be real.

Including Spencer, he laid there softly underneath her, holding her against his chest as she appreciated the world around them. His attention only on her, even after being locked up for 3 months. He would always choose her.

“I’m so happy,” she said softly. “You make me so happy.”

He kissed her on the forehead, pushing her back against the blanket so he could kiss her whole face as she laid there. Smiling as she held his sides, letting him smother her in affection.

When he finally stops kissing her, he brushes her hair behind her ear. Cupping her face with one hand as he looks at her. The sun casting a vibrant glow on the both of them as they appreciated each other for a moment.

“I don’t know how I made it so long without you,” he finally speaks. “But I never want to do it again.”

“Move in with me?” She replied without a second thought. “I need to find a place here anyway, and I doubt you want to go back to your apartment.”

“I already asked Derek for the place he was fixing on Wilmont, it’s close to the sanatarium, mom wants to be social again,” he filled her in on his plans. “We just have to sign the lease.”

“We?” She teased him.

“I love you,” he reminded her.

“Good,” she smiled as she pulled him into another kiss. “Because I love you, too.”

Spending time with Spencer was intimacy in its purest form. It was a relationship built on trust, respect, and mutual love. It was the first time in her life she felt truly in love, not mesmerized by the idea of it.

She trusted him when he said that he loved her. She believed him when held her when he talked to her about his day or the most random things his mind could conjure. When he’d just hold her, enjoying her presence without wanting anything more than just her.

Chapter 9

They arrived in Vermont early on a Saturday morning, heading to her apartment to pack everything up. It was just the two of them this time, flying in together, half asleep at the break of dawn.

Only bringing 1 bag with her essentials for the next 2 days, hoping to pack her whole life into a truck and pray it arrived in Virginia okay.

And she got to show Spencer her space. A personal side of her that he had no idea about. He knew her mind, her feelings, her trauma, but he didn’t know what her personality was really like outside of loving him.

He was surprised by the amount of stuff she had. Wandering around her apartment quietly as she started taping boxes into shape.

Rented white walls enclosed the space when she moved in, not being able to paint them or anything felt wrong to her. So she covered them in photos, artwork and posters. Bringing the space to life with a touch of colour.

Mostly neons, having an affinity for green and purple accent pieces. Not a single shade of blue to be found, getting enough of that at work over the years.

She had plants everywhere, an old record player and a million different albums spread across the living room. Her bedroom was a mess, the closet was even worse. The kitchen would be easy to pack, it was the stuff on the walls she was worried about.

“I’m probably not getting my deposit back,” she laughed as she started taking the paintings down.

“I didn’t know you went to Harvard?” He points at her medical degree on the wall as she takes it down.

“Yeah, let me guess you’re a Yale guy?” She teased him.

He scoffed, nudging her arm lightly. “CalTech and MIT actually, Yale was my safety school.”

“Mine too,” she smiled.

Spencer stood beside her and watched for a minute, “what should I do?”

“Pick an area and pack the way you would if this was your place, I trust you won't break anything.”

“Okay,” he nodded, beginning stacking all her books on the kitchen table.

They worked well together, they knew that already. She put on music, they moved around each other freely. Occasionally singing the words and dancing around to the good ones. It was a lovely day to just open the windows and clean.

Hours passed, pizzas had been ordered and destroyed, boxes filled every corner of the space as her personality was completely ripped from the room. Soon it was just them, a couch and the record player.

She got up and walked into the bedroom to change, feeling sticky and gross from the day. Not expecting Spencer to follow and sit down on the edge of the bed.

“Who knew packing boxes for 7 hours would make you so sweaty,” she jokes as she peels the shirt off her back. Standing in front of him in just her sports bra.

He turns away from her, making her laugh slightly. “Spencer, it’s fine.”

“Are you sure?” He asks as he turns back to look at her.

She nods softly, “do you want to shower with me?”

He’s speechless for a moment, staring at her with an open mouth, “yeah, yes sure.”

She can't help herself from laughing, taking his hand and pulling him into her tiny bathroom. She makes sure they both have a few towels, seeing him awkwardly stand by the door like he’s not allowed to move.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” she reminded him. “Go as slow as you want.”

“I want to join you, but just to clean,” he made his decision.

“Alright, I have 3 different shampoos you can choose from,” she smiled, opening her cupboard and letting him pick. He smiled, appreciating how easily she made it a strictly business situation.

She took off her pants, watching him get undressed out of the corner of her eye. They had been much more intimate with each other already, getting naked in front of him shouldn’t have been as nerve-racking as it was.

She turned on the water, making sure it was the right temperature with her foot. She took a deep breath and just took the sports bra off, freeing her boobs after a long day felt amazing, replacing the fear of Spencer seeing her for the first time. She dropped her underwear to the floor and stepped into the shower, waiting for him to do the same.

Before she knew it, he was standing in front of her, naked. She didn’t know how to act, just laughing and smiling at him. He did the same, it felt kinda crazy that they were standing in a shower, butt naked as the water pooled at their feet.

“You have to pull the thingy up,” she pointed at the bottom of the shower behind him. “It might be cold when it hits you, here pull it up and hide in the corner, like I do.”

He followed her instructions, pulling the small silver plug up to redirect the water from the tub faucet to the shower head. Cowering into the corner with her, their chests pressed together as the cold water hit his back, making him gasp as she laughed.

She wrapped her arms around him, leaning against the shower wall as she held him against her, “hi,” she whispered through her smile.

He kissed her quickly before backing up under the stream. She watched the water cover his hair, making it darker as it spread through the long locks. She watched it drip down his body softly, her eyes travelling down as it did.

He had a scar on his neck and all the bruising on his chest was long gone. His skin was so pretty, he only had a small amount of chest hair, but it was the collection of freckles all over capturing her gaze the most. She reached out and rested her hand on his chest, seeing his eyes open as he ran his hands through his hair.

“Sorry,” she pulled her hand back.

“It’s okay,” he laughed slightly. “Here,” he reached behind her for the bar of soap, “if you want to touch me while I wash my hair?”

“Yeah,” she smiled. Reaching for the loofa on the tap behind him, standing directly in his space as she did so.

They switched sides, slowly turning so he would be out of the spray of the shower head. He put shampoo in his hands and rubbed it through his hair while she watched quietly for a moment.

She rubbed the bar of soap against the fabric of the loofa, watching it foam up and fill the small space with a soft cucumber scent. Running it over his chest softly as he massaged his scalp. She was so soft with him, mesmerized by how lucky she was.

He was beautiful and soft. He wasn’t big and buff like Derek, he was just a normal man with a love for chocolate donuts and jello. She ran the loofa over his tummy as she smiled, loving everything about him.

Loving every part actually while trying to avoid both eye and physical contact with specific sections of him. Not knowing if he was okay, wanting to respect his space, and appreciating that he was doing the same with her.

He laughed when she ran it along his side, ticking his armpit as he tried to wash his hair, soap dripping down onto his eyebrow. She reached up and wiped it off his face so it wouldn’t go in his eye.

“Thanks,” he smiled.

“Switch?” She said as she guided him back under the water, his eyes still closed from the fear of getting soap in them. Scrunching his face up in the cutest way.

The water cascaded over his body, washing the soap down him as she watched, her hair not even close to being wet enough to wash yet. She just wanted to watch the show, to look at all of him and appreciate the moment.

He opened his eyes once all the soap was gone, his hair longer than ever as it laid flat behind his ears, he looked so funny without a big curly mop of hair on his head, remembering he said it used to be like this at one point.

“Your turn?” He offered, taking the loofa from her and reapplying the soap to it. “Can I?”

“Of course,” she answered as he slowly ran the material over her.

He was so gentle, she watched his face as he washed over her. Biting his bottom lip in concentration as he covered her chest, arms and stomach, “um,” he tried to speak, she knew what he wanted.

She took the loofa from him and replaced it with a bar of soap, “rub it in your hands for a sec, and then use them it’s easier.”

He did just that, lathering up his hands before he placed them directly on her breasts. She let out a sigh, bordering on a moan, as he held them in his hands, massaging the soap in carefully. Thumbs rubbing over her nipples as he made sure to not miss a spot.

She was in heaven, tossing her head back against the shower wall as he ran his hands over her more. Exploring her as she leaned against the wall.

Down her stomach, past her belly button, washing her hips before dropping to his knees. Using the bar of soap once more to wash over her legs as she stared at him, amazed by the bravery he was showing.

The water getting in his eyes down there, he stood and pushed his hair back out of his face as the water dropped to the floor, “turn around?” He asked softly.

“Yeah,” she replied, turning to face the wall.

He ran his soapy hands all over her back, over her shoulders and arms. Paying special attention to her butt, which made her laugh, she was only a little ticklish there.

She was covered head to toe in bubbles, Spencer looked at her with a big grin on his face as he noticed his job was done. Helping her under the water to wash all the soap off.

She lifted her arms to run the water through her hair, feeling her boobs perk up as she did so. Spencer's attention being completely switched to her chest as he watched. “Pass me the gold shampoo bottle?”

“Y-yeah,” he said, grabbing it from behind himself and handing it back to her.

She stepped into his space, pouring the soap into her hand and rubbing it in. “They say if you lather it up it’ll apply easier,” she explained her little life hack as she rubbed her hands together.

Finally running her hands back through her hair in Spencer’s personal bubble. Her boobs pressing against his chest once again. He was breathing heavier as she watched him, hoping soap didn’t make its way into her eye and ruin the moment.

When she finally stepped back to wash the soap out of her hair, Spencer followed, pressing them together once more. Holding her by the waist as she continued to get the soap out.

Once the water ran clean, she rested her hands on Spencer's shoulders. Staring at him as the water ran down her back, his eyelashes covered in water droplets as he stared into her eyes.

He was beautiful like this, just himself.

“Are we ever going to be like a real couple?” He asked softly.

“What do you mean?”

He ran his wet hands over his back as he thought about it for a moment, “I would like to be with you, more than this, but-”

“You mean sex?” She smiled softly, trying her best to not tease him. It was a serious moment, but she loved him too much to see him struggle.

“Yeah, I just don’t know how I’ll react,” he admitted.

“Honey,” she cooed, rubbing her nose against his softly. “Sex doesn’t make us a real couple, first of all. And second, we have all the time in the world, so you take it as slow as you want. We can start little by little, I don’t mind waiting.”

“How do you mean?”

She smirked at him, “have you ever masturbated in the same room as someone else?”

He swallowed sharply, shaking his head softly, “no, have you?”

“No,” she whispered. “But it’s a small step. You can sit beside me, we touch ourselves, nothing overlaps unless you want it to. Ease into it. It would be another easy way to be comfortable with your body around me.”

“Okay,” he agreed.

She reached behind herself to turn the water off, tapping the silver plug with her foot to release the pressure, and stepping out of the shower finally.

—

They dried off, getting into their pj’s before laying on the couch in her empty living room. Listening to the Hozier album that was already sitting on the player and cuddling while their hair dried. Just enjoying each other's company, he was so soft and he smelled amazing, it was so nice to have him in her space.

“Did you still want to?” Spencer cut into the moment.

It made her smile against him, lifting her head off his chest as she went to stand up. “Come on,” she took his hand, helping him to his feet.

She pulled him in close, kissing his lips softly. Only planning to kiss him once, being drawn into his mouth as his hands wrapped around her back.

She held him in return, slowly making her way into the bedroom as they stayed connected, laughing as her back smacked the door frame and then at the way he fell into her bed with her on top.

Her music softly travelled in from the living area, they kept the lights off as they stripped out of their pants and got under the covers.

“How did you want to start?” She asked, turning to face him as she laid against the pillow.

“Can we just kiss for a while?”

“Absolutely,” she smiled, placing a hand on his cheek and leaning in.

She was laying slightly on top of him, holding his face in her hands as she kissed him. His tongue was soft, swirling with hers as they made out softly. He was very handsy, wanting to touch every single part of her once again like he didn’t get enough in the shower.

She spread her leg between his, sitting on his thigh as she rubbed against him. He bit her lip, squeezing her skin at the feeling. “I think I can do it,” he said softly.

“No,” she whispered, kissing his neck before getting off him. “I don’t want to hear I think. It’s a yes or it’s a no.”

“Okay,” he managed to bring reason back into his horny brain.

He took his shirt off, only in boxers beside her, tenting in them slightly. She took off her shirt as well, laying back against the pillow. He watched her breasts the whole time, licking his lips as he leaned on his side.

She ran a hand over her side, cupping her breast and tossing her head into the pillow more. “I’m starting without you,” she teased, her other hand slipping under the band of her underwear.

He laid on his back, bending his knees as he slipped his boxers off, she looked over at him with careful eyes. Genuinely curious about how beautiful he would look rock hard and begging for it.

She didn’t move her hand, just resting it under her underwear to entice him to start. She watched as he stroked himself softly, returning his attention to her smiling face.

She pushed her shirt and underwear off as well, scooting in closer to him so she was pressed against his side. Bending one knee so she could ghost her fingers over the folds as he watched her.

“I want to touch you,” he rushed the words out.

“Okay.”

He reached his left hand over, resting it on her hip before resting his hand on top of hers. She slipped it out from under his grasp, guiding his fingers to her clit as she stretched her legs further apart.

“Yeah, like that,” she encouraged him.

“W-would you?”

“Finish the sentence,” she instructed him. “Tell me exactly what you want.”

“Stroke me, I want it. Yes.”

She wrapped her fist around him, feeling his fingers swoop down to see how wet she was. “Oh,” she jerked her hips against his side, not expecting him to loop the wetness back up and rub her clit again.

He groaned as she stroked him faster, both of them staring at their own handiwork. She was fascinated with how big he was, being able to stroke up and down him so gracefully it was like she was always meant to. She licked her lips as she saw the pearl of precum drip out. Gathering it up with her thumb as she slid back down his length.

He was panting, trying to hold himself back as she kept jerking him off. Lightly touching her clit as all his attention focused on not cuming so soon.

“It’s okay honey,” she whispered in his ear.

Straddling his thigh then. His hand resting on her clit still as she ground down on him. “Is this okay?” She asked.

He nodded, “yes,” biting his lip so he didn’t explode right then and there.

He felt amazing on her, every time her hips ground down her clit rested right between his fingers perfectly to gain the perfect amount of friction back and forth.

She let herself go, bucking her hips and moaning as she stroked him with one hand. Resting the other behind her neck so he could look at her boobs perk up again, sending him so close to the edge he almost jumped out of his skin.

“Fuck,” he gasped. “C-an I?”

“Cum baby,” she gasped. Following her own instruction as she watched the cum burst from him, shooting up over her fist as she stroked him through it. Grinding against him as she whimpered, “fuck, I love you,” leaving her mouth.

Letting go of his dick as he started to whine, she dropped down against him with her face nestled into his neck.

She kissed him, over and over again. Peppering them against his skin for the best orgasm she has ever had.

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close against his skin as he came down from the high. His chest heaving as he tried to calm down, only picking up again when she heard the sob.

“Shhh,” she whispered against his skin, letting him hold her tighter against him as he cried. “I love you, honey, it’s okay. I’m here for you.”

She felt the tears welling in her own eyes, overwhelmed with her feelings for him. “I love you so much Spencer,” she cried against his skin, the tears dripping down his neck slowly.

His hands ran over her back, they held each other while they cried.

Everything from the last week finally catching up with them both. They hadn’t taken a moment to talk about any of it, the fact he was even in prison or what happened after. They just moved on, pretending it was fine now.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered finally.

“Me too,” he pressed his hand onto her cheek, freeing her from his neck as she sat up a little.

Both of them still gross from the sex, pressing sweaty foreheads together as they took a moment. “I’m so sorry,” she emphasized, “are you okay?”

“I’m wonderful,” he laughed at the absurdity. “I’m crying because I love you so much.”

“Really?” She laughed too.

He nodded softly. Kissing her nose as she pulled back to look at him better. “I want to touch you but,” she laughed at the mess on her hand and where she rested it on his chest. “Can we pause for one sec?” She couldn’t stop smiling.

The two of them continuing to laugh at the situation as they cleaned up in the bathroom, laughing even harder as she sat to pee like they had been married for a million years already, laughing the hardest when it came out in dribbles from all the laughing.

Going through every emotion in the book as they coped with the insanity together.

Once they were clean they crawled back into bed. Resuming almost the same position as she sat down on his lap, holding his face in her hands like she wanted to. Rubbing her thumbs on his cheeks as he pulled her in closer by her hips.

“Tell me what you’re feeling?” She whispered.

“I’m happy, you saved my life and I can’t believe I get to do this with you,” he explained softly, moving his hands on her back. He talked with his hands, not able to say anything without them moving.

“You’re the best person I’ve ever known, Spencer,” she reassured him.

“Why?” He asked softly. “not in a pity party sense, I just want to know how you feel. You haven’t really told me, I’ve been waiting for you to open up, I thought maybe you were just like that because it was your job, but I want to know you more.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered as she bumped their noses together. “I don’t normally talk to people, even with Derek I’m really closed off. But I do trust you, and I want to, I just wanted to experience you when you’re free. I wanted to see if this overwhelming ache in my heart would dissipate as I was allowed to love you.”

She didn’t want to cry again. Blinking so the tears rolled back behind her eyes, licking her lips as her head tilted slightly. She just stared at his honey eyes, glossy and blown out. So absolutely beautiful.

“It got worse,” she laughed slightly. “I realized that now that you’re free you don’t have to see me every day, luckily you want to. But, now I think about losing you instead of keeping you safe.”

“Never,” he shook his head, face still cupped in her hands. “I’m never leaving you, you’re going to need a restraining order if you want to break up.”

She laughed, pushing the tears out, finally. Spencer kissed her cheeks, wiping the tears away with his lips. “Okay,” her voice broke as she tried not to cry anymore.

“I love you,” Spencer whispered. “You’re brave and kind, incredibly smart. You’re willing to do whatever it takes for the ones you love, you’re the only person I want to talk to every day.”

“I was going to say that about you,” she pressed their lips together finally, pushing him back against the headboard.

She laid her head on his shoulder, cuddling into him as she sat in his lap, “I have never loved anyone like this.”

“Me either,” he admitted as he pressed his cheek to her head. “Not even with Maeve, or Derek I know he told you.”

“And your mom,” she smiled. “She actually welcomed me to the family, said she always wanted a daughter. It’s nice to have a mom again.”

That broke him, he finally dropped the tuff boyfriend act he was putting up to hear her feelings, crying at his mother and the love of his life being close. She could tell he was a mamma’s boy, they had a bond Y/N wished she could have with someone. The closest she had to a Diana was Derek, as funny as that was.

She let him cry, not prying into it at all. Letting him take control of his emotions and the conversation. She ran her hands up and down his arm, soothing him softly as he held on to her.

“I was so scared,” is all Spencer says.

“I can imagine.”

“No, I mean about my mom,” he corrects her softly. “I thought the second she got her diagnosis that I ruined everything for her. She was going to forget me before I could even find a person to marry, let alone give her grandkids.

‘She was going to forget me,’ echoed in her mind as she wrapped her head around what he was saying. He was more terrified of losing his mother and missing time with her than he was about being in prison. He really put every ounce of his love into his family, it was beautiful.

“I applied to work at the sanatarium,” is how she answers. “They needed a GP and I need a job. This way I can see her every day, and you can go to work or teach or do whatever and know she’ll be okay. And old people seem nicer than cops and criminals.”

“I love you.”

She laughs, kissing his neck softly. “She’ll be okay, we’ll get her taken care of and who knows, maybe we’ll have more answers before a grandkid rolls around.”

It’s a risk, joking about having kids with him already. But she was ready for a life sentence with him, willing to stay in that god-awful prison as long as he was there. Including if he lost his case.

“You’re too good to me.”

“I try,” she smiled. “You’re pretty fantastic yourself, I didn’t just fall in love with your pretty face, sure you’re helpful and do what I say. But I love you because of what’s in here,” she ran her hand over his chest.

He just held her, silence encapsulating the room finally. The record stopped playing in the living room, no one was on the street at this time of night, the world stopped as she laid in his arms.

The Sunday morning sun was going to start coming up as she stayed up in his lap, both of them settling more against the pillow. She had no plans to get off him, he had no plans to separate from her loving embrace.

a/n: still working on an epilogue idk when it'll be done

Permanent tag list:

@ssacalumsg0lden @doctorspenceryeet @samuel-de-champagne-problems @reiding-recs @shemarmooresfedora @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @blanchardsbk @idonotexiste @measure-in-pain @dreams-in-blxck @doc-padfoot @nomajdetective @xoxospencerreid @mggswhorificlover @dinonuggets1967 @meganskane @kya-li @reidsbookclub @muffin-cup @sassymoon @shirleyrose @reidsacademia @this-is-doctor-and-its-calm @spooky-goob @anaagraceeberr

[sxltedcxramel]

Lover’s Quarrel

c!techno x gn!reader

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

: ̗̀➛ Summary:  You and Technoblade have been friends for decades, always by each other’s side you two faught alongside each other. That was once in a lifetime, and should never happen again. Unfortunately life doesn’t play out that way and you happen to need him one more time... or maybe they’ll be a change in plans?

: ̗̀➛ Word Count: 1515

: ̗̀➛ Chapters: 1/1

: ̗̀➛ Tag(s): No beta reader we die like ghostbur, c!techno, gn!reader, immortal reader x immortal techno, angel!reader, god!techno, angst, friends to enemies to friends, complicated ik

: ̗̀➛ Warnings: slight cursing, mentions of torture and death

: ̗̀➛ Taglist: Here

: ̗̀➛ Link(s): Ao3

: ̗̀➛ Notes: *screams into oblivion* one this is all platonic I didn’t specify 😓 two I barely survived the writers drought (no friken inspiration) but I bring to you my first c!dsmp x reader fic (please be kind I tried-) basically this taks place in really old times and not modern considering how its writter like I just finished reading shakesphere although the idea came while listening to classical music so that it how you will. Also this isn’t edited so my bad if theres mistakes-

The room was dimly lit with candles and the r oaring fire that burned passionately at the fireplace. White tiles were plastered with gold diamonds, the shade almost as if it was antique jewelry, Old but could tell an amazing story. The colour completing the beige-coloured room

You waited patiently, cross-legged glaring at the clock that ticked every second or so. 10 minutes you thought to yourself while you grind your teeth. That man seemed to be early only when it was for his own convenience, how distasteful.

Just as you finished that thought you saw the dark oak wood door being pushed open. A man walks in, he wears a white loosely fitted blouse, with bishop sleeves which was decorated with frilly fabrics. Along with death-black dress pants that were worn up to the waist. His face where his mask usually is is replaced with glasses and the man's delicate bubblegum pink hair is loosely braided and thrown on the right side of his shoulder.

“Your late” you glare crossing your arms

He let out a sigh “Well pardon me for taking a while to get ready, It's almost like you didn’t come here unannounced” he spoke sarcastically.

He walked over to the glass tray and picked up a small glass cup with a gold ring around it and poured himself a drink. He eyes you “Would you care for a drink y/n?”

“I don’t drink”

He shrugs “Suit yourself”

“Technoblade, I didn't come here for idle chatter.”

He arched his eyebrow slightly “Oh?” Techno placed his cup down “Pray do tell, what exactly did you come here for?” You watched him walk to the other side of the room as he said that.

“I-“ you could even finish before being rudely interrupted by a rustling noise. You watched as your patience grew thinner by the minute he took out a black vinyl disc and placed it on a wooden box making sure the oin was adjusted well. A soft tune of the piano came out of the music player.

“Would you care for a dance?” He holds out his hand, you stare at it contemplating whether you should grab his hands, you really shouldn't, you didn’t want to play his games, you wanted what you came for, but then again it would harm a dance. Or course your brain chose the latter considering how you delicately placed your hand in his letting him place his hand on your waist the the other on your shoulder. He lead the way,(just like he always does)

“Apologies for interrupting music helps me think.” He spoke as he spun you around the floor “They calm the voices” . You knew all about the voices, how much they love to chant and clog his brain with different variations of thoughts, perks of being his ex-partner you suppose. But you watched as he hid a smirk, you guess he’s just telling only half the truth. You roll your eyes

“You can finish”

“Wouldn’t you mean start idiot” you snap

“Meh”

You clicked your tongue in annoyance, his inability to ever grasp the mood of the situation was flawless. It seemed as if he never cared about the other person's feelings, unless you were the god of death you were out of luck for a serious conversation. You’ve dealt with that for decades

You could remember once in a lifetime the two of you were partners, fast and precise that's how the job went. The blood god and the angel of destruction are an amazing duo. You remember when the two of you used to watch as people begged on their knees for their life or perhaps a mercy kill. Watching as your foes tried to retreat to their bases only for their pitiful lives to end in such a disgraceful manner. At the end of the day the two of you stood in the battlefield side by side knowing the world could shake in fear knowing you two were alive

And you loved it like that desire to make people fear you brought giddiness to your body and enlightened your world. You wanted one thing and it was to get revenge.

Revenge on all who did you wrong from your youth up, and now you were strong enough to bring it tenfold.

Everything was fine, It wasn’t until one day the two of you had sat down for a cup of tea like you usually did on Thursday evenings. He told you he wanted to retire, he was done with the killings and the torture.

He was finally putting down the title ‘Blood god’

At first you thought it was a joke but then you saw his eyes and they were as serious as he could ever be, anger rose up in you unable to process the statement.

How could he leave you like this, he promised to be by your side when no one else would.

A liar that's would your made him out to be

A slap to the cheek was all you left him that day

Now here you were decades later, hand in hand dancing to the sounds of the instruments harmonizing becoming one just the way you two were.

He spun you around gracefully on the tiled floor, there's something about dancing in an empty room that makes you feel weird inside. What was this feeling? Him making you feel weak in the knees, perhaps it was the fact the last time you did this it was when you two were young and reckless. He always seemed to know how to brighten your life,even to the point the friendship you two had was envied amongst the other gods.

He twirled you across the room dipping you slightly “Cat caught your tongue”

You rolled your eyes “As if”

You saw outside the glass panes, the sky was painted a blood orange mixed with lavender purples and hints of blue. The sun slowly sets,bringing the nightfall.

You chuckle to yourself, how romantic of the sky to show such a sight for people who would die before dating each other.

You turn your gaze to the god “I need you one last time” you say cutting to the chase

Technoblade glared at you “I already told you I’m retired, don’t be so stubborn”

“I’m not, your being selfish putting your needs before anyone else's”

He snorts “Isn’t that what you're doing y/n? Or am I reading the situation wrong?” He says sarcastically “Plus I thought you made it clear that you wanted nothing to do with me, or was that slap something you did on impulse and you couldn’t face me after?”

You grind your teeth “It was not, and why are you making it seem like you're the victim? You're the one who wanted to leave me!” You snapped

He took his hands away from you and pinched the bridge of his nose “See, this is why we cannot have a conversation. You always jump to conclusions” he growls

“I do not!”

“You do! I never intended to leave your side, only retiring. Is it so bad I wanted to stop killing and do something better with my life, and here I thought you’d be happy with it.”

You stared at him shocked, “I..”

Was he right? You were known to act on impulse which did cause problems in the long run but he’d be there to be by your side every time. But yet, you couldn’t fathom the thought of him leaving his life behind to start a new one. Why? You weren’t sure.

Techno sighed “You act so tough when actually you're broken inside. The thing is you weren’t mad at me for retirement, you were mad that things were changing. You're scared of change because you don’t know where you’ll fall between it all.”

The piano falls into a soft handsomely rhythm

The violinist quietly drag their bows delicately

You cast your eyes aside, you couldn’t argue with the truth. You swallow hard fighting back the tears. You couldn’t fathom the amount of times you’ve been in the wrong or how much you’ve hurt him

Stupid

Stupidstupidstu-

A hand is placed on you head

“You think too much, stop that”

“I’m sorry”

“For overthinking or for being impulsive” he questions

“Both” you whisper keeping your eyes on the floor

“And?”

You huffed “You were right about everything”

He grinned showing his pearly whites “I’m sorry what was that? I couldn’t hear you?”

You laughed slightly making your worries go away for the time being “You asshole, get your head out of the skies as if I’m repeating that again”

He chuckles shrugging “Worth a try”

“So, let's get something straight. I’ll help you one last time then I’m forcing you to retire. Seriously you have no say so.” He eyes you “You probably need therapy too jeez”

“Fuck You I’m perfectly fine”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night” he responds ushering you out the room

“Bold of you to assume I sleep”

“Bruhh”

Taglist: @ttakinou @angstyx

[buttybarnes1917]

An Unexpected Party

AN: There probably wont be any smut in this story, it just doesnt feel right; however, I am PROBABLY going to make this an AU because nerdy!bucky has my whole heart and I am OBSESSED with the characters that are creating themselves out of this whole story.  

Chapter 4

Honestly?  Bucky was REALLY fun.

You went to dinner on Monday, lunch on Tuesday, and bowling with Wanda, Vis, and Yelena on Wednesday night.  He surprised you with coffee before work on Thursday, and that night, you had plans to watch a movie. Bucky was very excited to show you a cult classic, The Room.  You were a little confused on the premise, but Bucky promised you it was supposed to be bad. For people that were fake dating, you spent a hell of a lot of time together.  You were actually happy with him, and were perfectly fine ignoring your growing feelings for the man.

That was, of course, until you got a call from Tony.

“Heya kid, you busy?” you heard as soon as you picked up your phone. “Just kidding, I don’t care.  When am I meeting this new boyfriend of yours?  He’s been all over your Instagram.  I’m assuming you’re bringing him to my wedding.”

“You mean Pepper is still marrying you? God, I would have thought she had been sick of you by now,” you sighed as you loaded the dishwasher.  “Why do you need to meet him, anyway?  Does it matter to you?”

“Matters to me if there’s gonna be drama at my wedding, seeing as my best man is your ex-boyfriend.”

“Your best man broke up with me for no damn reason, and I have every right to date someone new, just like he’s doing,” you snapped, not able to hold yourself back, and Tony was quiet for a minute.

“So you know, I reamed his ass for that,” he said quietly.  “I have your back on that one.  What Steve did was wrong.  One hundred percent.  I just wanna make sure that Pep has the best day she can.  I know she’s nervous about… people seeing people together.”

“I understand that, Ton, but I am not gonna start anything.  Promise.”  You pulled out the cookies you were baking from the oven.  “Plus, Bucky is just a friend.”

“What kinda guy goes by the name ‘Bucky’?” Tony grumbled.

“A very sweet guy,” you say, unable to stop your voice from going a little softer.  Tony definitely noticed—you could tell by the silence—but thankfully he didn’t say anything.

“Well, I’m glad you’re happy,” he said softly.  

“Thanks Tony.” You said softly. “Anyway, the wedding is almost here,” you changed the subject, and Tony knew better than to push you.

“Sure is.  Only one more night,” he chuckled softly.  “Dad’s not coming,” he added quietly and you sighed softly.

“Can you blame him, Tony? You remember Christmas—”

“He insulted Pepper—”

“Because you kept pushing about the government contracts and upsetting mom, and you know it, Tony.” You said quietly.  “Both of you took things too far.” Tony grumbled on the other end of the line.  “Have you tried calling him?”

“I’m the one getting married,” he pointed out, and you stayed quiet.  Tony heavy sighed. “Fine.  I’ll call him.”

“And apologize?”

“I said I’d call him.”

“And apologize.”

“Y/N.”

“Tony.”

“…fine. And apologize that he’s such a self-righteous dick—”

“Anthony Edward Stark—”

“And I’ll apologize for being a bitch, okay?” Tony sighed. “God.”  There was a shuffling on the other end and you heard Pepper’s soft voice calling Tony to bed. “Ball and chain is calling.” He said teasingly and you heard Pepper snap at him giggling

“Call her that again and I’ll slap you during the ceremony,” you retorted laughing.

“Yeah yeah.  I’ll see you at the rehearsal tomorrow, kiddo.  Feel free to bring your… friend to the dinner.”

“Thanks, Tony.  I’ll see if he wants to go.  Sleep well.”

Tony hung up and you leaned on the counter, looking at your phone.  You heard a knock at your door, then the door swung open.

“Babe, you gotta make sure to lock the door,” Bucky laughed as he walked in, carrying a bottle of wine and a thin wide box.  “Anyone could just walk in here.”

“Sorry,” you giggled a little.  “Force of habit.  My ex always forgot his key.” You smiled as he pressed a kiss to your cheek, placing the wine in the fridge.  “Hey, I have the rehearsal tomorrow… my brother wants to know if you want to come to the rehearsal dinner afterwards.”

“Do I have to wear a suit?” he sighed dramatically.

“Mmhmm,” you giggled softly and wrapped your arms around his waist.  “But I’ll have to wear a dress, so it’s even.”

“Well, can’t say no to free food.” He chuckled softly.  “Anyway, I made your brother a wedding present,” he said a little nervously.

“Oh?” you asked in surprise.

“Yeah, you mentioned that you, and your brother and your parents would go upstate,” he said. “Ya know, before school started again?  Well, you kept talking about how pretty it was and… I guess I thought it would be nice for you to give your brother something that reminded you both of a happier time,” he said a little sheepishly, and pushed the bigger thin box he had brought in across the bar.  You glanced at him, then slipped it open.  Inside was a canvas with a beautiful dark wood frame. Painted on the canvas was a beautiful scene of a family of four, canoeing across a lake, the trees a gorgeous mixture of red, yellow, orange, and brown.  You covered your mouth, your breath catching in your throat.

Somehow, Bucky had gotten the exact memory you had described to him.

“Bucky this is…” you breathed out, tears pricking your eyes.  

“Fuck I'm sorry,” he mumbled, reaching for the box. “I’m sorry, it’s not good enough, I shouldn’t have caught you off guard, you don’t have to give it to him—"

You cut him off by rounding the side of the counter, cradling his cheeks in your hands, and kissing him deeply, pressing your body against his.  He groaned in surprise, stepping back a bit, his hands on your hips to steady himself.  You felt your eyes drift shut as he kissed you back, his lips working against yours, and for a second, time seemed to stop.

It never felt like this with Steve.

You slowly pulled away and he opened his eyes, looking down at you, his cheeks flushed pink.  “What did I do?” he asked chuckling a little.  “So I can be sure to do it again?”

“That was… the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me,” you said softly. “Or for a family member they’ve never met.” You touched his cheek.

“I…Really?” he said softly. “You don’t think it’s too much?”

“I think it’s perfect,” you said softly.  “You painted it yourself?”

“And made the frame,” he blushed, and you kissed him again, pulling him closer, your fingers slipping through his hair.  He shivered almost immediately and panted a little as you pulled away.  “Okay so, making things equals kisses.  Got it.” He chuckled a little. “I’ll furnish your whole apartment if you’re not careful.”

“I don’t want you to come to the wedding as my fake boyfriend,” you said quietly and he nodded, after a second’s hesitation.

“How about… as your real boyfriend?” he asked hopefully and you nodded, grinning. His face lit up and he kissed you again, pulling away, then pressing kisses all over your face as you giggled.

“Real boyfriend sounds much better to me.” You whispered.  

TAGLIST: 

@ceeellewrites​ @anna-kaye​ @toothhurtyam​

[bangtansbun]

Endgame || Feels Right

pairing: jeongguk x f. reader

genre: angst, a little fluff

word count: 3k

warnings: casual drinking, heavy make out sesh

a/n: thank you for waiting for this you guys!! I know i was meant to post this on thursday, but it was the end of my term and it was just overall a crazy week last week. I really don’t like giving you guys half assed written parts so i hope you didn’t mind the wait! also, listen to delicate but tswift with this chapter. unedited

Minnie was thirty minutes away from picking you up and you weren’t even dressed yet. What the hell were you supposed to wear to possibly see your ex/love of your life/childhood best friend?? You had to look good, you knew that, but you also didn’t want to look like you were trying too hard. You stand in front of your closet for a little while longer before you’re letting out a huff and pulling out a suede moto jacket. While inspecting the jacket, your phone goes off with a text from Jimin stating that he was now only twenty minutes away. Without anymore thinking – because if you thought any longer about it you’d be showing up to the bar in nothing but the jacket – you grab a slightly sheer white top, a blue lacy bralette to peek count from under it, ripped jeans, and some charcoal grey suede heeled boots. As you look at yourself in the mirror you realize that this is 100% the type of outfit that Jeongguk would love to see you in. Your mission in looking effortless had failed, but you did like the way you looked in your outfit, definitely gave you a boost of confidence before Jimin’s knocking on your door.

The ride to the first place of the night isn’t too long. The two of you decided to grab something to eat at a restaurant (along with a few drinks because you’d need the liquid courage later) so that you aren’t dancing and drinking on empty stomachs. It was also partially because you weren’t quite ready for the possibility of seeing Jeongguk again. You didn’t even really know if he would be there, but just the possibility of him being there again and Jimin without a doubt pushing you to go talk to him has your stomach in knots.

The two of you order your meals and a glass of wine to go with it, easy chit chat flowing as you wait for your food. “So, are you ready for tonight?” He asks with a wiggle of his eyebrows. “We don’t even know if he’ll be there, but the answer is no. Why would I ever be ready for something like this?” you ask incredulously. He lets out a sigh before answering you, “oh, come on. You really thought you’d never see him again? You guys grew up in the same town and had one of those fairytale kind of loves, which is fucking incredible.” He had a small point, but you felt like your love was anything but fairytale-like. It all burning down in the midst of one of the worst times of his life. You ignore his actual question, “it’s just a little scary, okay? I don’t really know him anymore.” He nods in understanding. Jimin may be brave and outspoken, but he’d never push you too far, understands what you’re going through.

Your food arrives and the two of you munch in comfortable silence. The lack of conversation isn’t because of the topic that was brought up, but purely because the food is just that good at this Italian estaurant. While you didn’t love talking about your past with Jeongguk, Jimin was your best friend and you guys told each other everything, nothing was a secret or off limits. Jimin takes the last bite of his three cheese tortellini, an mmm coming out of him before he wipes his mouth and looks you dead in the eyes, “alright, you ready?” Unfortunately for him, the answer was no and you begged him to take you guys to another bar before going to the one he’d most likely be at. You just weren’t ready to face the music yet (not really sure you’d ever be, but you could sure prolong it).

Jimin didn’t really mind too much though, you guys hadn’t been to this bar in a while and it was nice to have a change of scenery. You both swayed to the music rhythmically, taking swigs of your drinking every now and then. Jimin was the best person to go out with because even though he constantly had men and women hangin off of him or wanting to dance with him, he never left your side unless you were pushing him to do so. Dancing with you and making sure you were having a good time was always as much of a priority for him as it was for you. You would be content staying right here, just like this for the rest of the night.

“Come on, man. I don’t think she’s coming, it’s already 11pm and we’ve seen no sign of her,” Taehyung says in exhaustion. In his defense, he had had a long day at work and he wasn’t really helping with the fact that anytime Tae suggested to dance he turned it down. Not wanting to move from his spot angled perfectly to see the entrance in case he missed you. “You don’t know yn like I do, she could stay up all night long if she wanted to. Plus, weren’t you excited to see her friend again?” Taehyung nods along hesitantly, “yeah, but that was when I thought they would actually be here and so far, they’re not.” Jungkook gets it, Taehyung wants to support him, but he’s also worried about him getting his hopes up (and ultimately, hearty broken). Doesn’t want to see his friend acting so desperate. “Alright, I’ll stay a little bit longer, but if they’re not here in the next thirty minutes, I’m heading home. I’m beat from work and I gotta get some sleep.” Jungkook nods in understanding and, honestly, he might prefer if Tae leaves because then if yn does show up he doesn’t have to feel bad about leaving him to the wayside while he tries to win you back.

In an effort to try to make Taehyung’s night a little more enjoyable, Jeongguk heads over to the bar to grab them some drinks and then abandons his coveted seat to go dance with his friend. He actually finds that he has a good time, letting his mind wander to things other than you because if he was really being honest with himself, he was scared. Scared that you wouldn’t want him back, that you hated him and never wanted to see him again. He’d deserve it too, for how he ended things with you – or actually, how he didn’t properly end things with you. However, he’s not letting himself dwell on these things for too long while he moves to the best of the music.

Taehyung does end up leaving eventually, but not as soon as he said he would because he ended up having fun once Jeongguk got out of his head a little bit. He apologized for needing to dip out, but Jeongguk understood his friend’s need for sleep and the fact that it was probably unlikely at this point that yn would actually show up. Jeongguk decided that he’ll probably leave within the next hour too, doesn’t want to humiliate himself anymore than he has to.

Much to your dismay, you and Jimin are finally on the way to the bar that you were meant to be at all night. Jimin bribed you on the fact that it’s already almost midnight and the two of you had decided earlier that you wouldn’t stay out past 1am, so it’s not like you would be there that long. Plus, if he was there, he’s probably left already since it’s getting pretty late.

When you guys arrive you can feel yourself beginning to fill with nerves. Your stomach turning and twisting at the thought of having to go in. “Don’t worry, baby. No matter what happens, you still have me and we can leave at any moment,” Jimin offers to you, and God, he is the best friend you could ever ask for.

He knows you miss Guk so much, miss the love you two used to the share, but even more so, the friendship that ran so deep between the two of you. He just wants you to be happy with the man of your dreams and he knows the only way for that to be possible is to take this chance.

He holds your hand as you walk in, turning around with a smirk on his face, “you think he brought his hot friend with him?” This makes you laugh because Jimin is shameless and will 100% jump Taehyung if he’s here with Jeongguk. You feel lighter now.

Upon first glance, you don’t see him or Taehyung anywhere and you feel your shoulders relax – had been carrying the tension there for probably the last hour. The two of you make your way to find seats on a swanky blue velvet couch before Jimin heads his way over to the bar to grab drinks.

Unbeknownst to you, you had walked right past Jeongguk. He was seated at the bar by the entryway, his back to you as you passed by. He was preoccupied with paying out his tab and hadn’t notice you come in. Luckily for him though, a certain plump-lipped pretty boy is standing next to him ordering drinks for two just before he was about to head home for the night, and he recognizes him instantly.

Before saying anything, he quickly turns around to scan the room. He wants to see if you’re actually here before looking like a lunatic to your friend. It takes maybe 30 seconds before he spots you and his stomach does a flip. He turns back to your friend just as the bartender is handing him drinks and gently taps his shoulder, “hey, are you here with yn?” Jimin’s eyes go so wide and he almost drops the drinks from pure shock. “You’re him!! Guk right?” Jimin practically screams. Jeongguk can tell right away that he’s pretty drunk which means you might be too, but he’ll feel out the situation once he gets over to you. Before he can even reply, Jimin’s grabbing him by the wrist and pulling him over to you. He’s so proud of himself for finding Guk, but the look on your face has him questioning everything.

The second you lay eyes on him, all color goes from your face. It’s like seeing a ghost from your past and you don’t know what to do. Your heart is beating so fast you’re afraid he’ll actually be able to hear it over the raging bass.

He’s gorgeous.

Not that he ever wasn’t, but it’s been five years. You guys have both changed so much and you weren’t sure what adult Guk would look like, but he’s stunning and you’re nervous because there’s no way a guy like him doesn’t have a girlfriend. You feel stupid because his post probably wasn’t even for you. Or maybe he just wants to catch up and be friends, nothing more.

“Hey,” he says in his most gentle voice, afraid you’ll run off based on the expression on your face. You shake your head quickly and force a smile onto your face, “hi.” You both stand there for a minute just staring at each other, you have no idea what to say. Jimin’s the one to speak next, “Okayyy, well, I’m gonna go dance with that cutie over there. Come get me if you need me, yn.” And just in principle, he shoots Jeongguk a look as if to say do anything to her and I’ll murder you.

Jeongguk slowly sits down next to you, “h-how are you?” His cute stutter loosens you up a little bit, you know that he only stutters when he’s nervous and it’s good to know that he’s just as nervous as you are. “I’m doing okay. How have you been?” You pause for a moment before saying the next part, “it’s been such a long time.” A sullen look takes over Jeongguk’s face and it makes your heart clench. He realizes that you’re not quite as drunk as your friend so he decides to just go for it, “I know and I’m really sorry about that. I- I really wanted to say I’m sorry to you. I saw you in here last weekend and I only just saw you before you left, but I immediately wanted to apologize. I shouldn’t have left things the way I did-” you’re quick to cut him off. “No, I mean, I get it. You don’t need to apologize.” But he’s shaking his head at you. “No, I do because I loved you and I shouldn’t have just disappeared on you. I really thought I couldn’t handle everything that was going on with me and be in a relationship, but it hurt more without you. I- I just didn’t know how to fix things and so I just let it go. But it hurt and I know I hurt you too.” He’s staring at you so intensely. Not that you would ever think Jeongguk would lie to you, but you can tell he really wants you to see how sorry he is about the situation. You keep hanging on to one word though, loved. Past tense.

You nod slowly at him, “yeah, it stung a little bit, but I just wanted you to do what you needed. I don’t have any hard feelings about it.” Your response is an understatement because it took you years to get over him, but now that he’s sitting right in front of you, seemingly as sweet as ever, you’re not so sure you really ever did. He gives you a small smile, but there’s still sadness behind it. “So, uh, who is-” he looks over in Jimin’s direction. He wants to feel out whether you’re seeing anyone or not, although, Jeongguk’s quite sure the guy you’re with is just your friend based on the way he dragged him over to you. “Oh! Um, that’s Jimin. I met him through work.” Something flickers in your eyes which as Jeongguk questioning his instincts, but it’s really just a fondness you have for your best friend. “Ah, I see, so you too are-” and you’re quick to correct him, “no, no, we’re just really good friends.” Relief, that’s the look that he gives you at his answer and it causes a swell of butterflies in your stomach. “Can I get you something to drink?” you give him a nod because Jimin had taken your drink with him on the dance floor, double fisting as he sways to the music.

The rest of the night is spent with the two of you catching up on the past five years. You realize that the two of you have changed a lot and are different in ways you wouldn’t have thought, but deep down you’re both the same two kids that fell in love with each other way back when. Jeongguk is still just as caring, considerate, and sweet as he always was. You also learn that he’s single which has you feeling things you didn’t think you’d feel tonight.

You’re both sitting close to each other now, getting tipsier and tipsier by the minute. He still makes you laugh and he still hasn’t gotten over how the sound of your laugh makes him melt. Especially considering he’s the one making you laugh. Your knees are touching and you can feel the warmth from his arm as he leans in to you to tell you something that halppened to him the other day. Your hold body seems to react to his closeness. His eyes still sparkle like they did when he was young and his mouth still forms that cute pout that you so desperately want to kiss. Before you know it, he catches you staring at him. “What?” he asks a little dumbly. His face is close to yours now and if you just leaned a little closer, he would get the hint, but you don’t move at all. Instead, he’s the one to make the first move, wrapping his arm around your waist, pulling you a bit closer until his lips are hovering over yours. Like he’s not sure if this is okay, but he wants to do it. And you want him to do it too. You give a slight nod to indicate that it’s okay and he immediately closes in.

The feeling you get when his lips are slotted against yours is almost indescribable. The best way to describe it is that it just feels right. Like you should have been doing this for the past five years. Like no time has passed between the two of you at all. Only difference is that now you can smell his cologne and his hair is longer, allowing you to gently tug of the ends of them while you explore each other’s mouths. He’s completely and totally drinking you in, he didn’t realize just how much he missed kissing you until this very moment and now he’s not sure he ever wants to stop. “I’ve missed you so much,” he says breathlessly in between kisses. You moan in response which he swallows down, he knows you must have missed him too. Your heart and your head are clouded with feelings and you’re so confused as to what all of this means, but you don’t let yourself dwell on it right now. You just want to enjoy how it feels to have your lips sliding against his, the swipe of his tongue against your own.

You’re not sure how long the two of you carry on like that, but you’re practically gasping for air when Jimin pulls you apart saying that he’s getting tired and wants to go home soon. A sorry on his lips at having to interrupt the two of you, but it was late and the two of you had already agreed on when you’d head home for the night. You clumsily get off of Jeongguk’s lap and give him and apologetic smile as you walk off with your best friend. The forethought to ask if his number is still the same not even a blip on your radar. He realizes this just a moment too late because you’re already out the door and getting into the car you and Jimin had arranged to pick you up at this time. He’s not too worried though, he’ll find a way to reach you again. He has to.

taglist: @ggukkieland @hecticwonderer @kookiepout @artistkoo @secretlycrazyhummingbird @imluckybitches @mybiasforsure @madaboutjeon @scentedsope @thequeen-kat @betysotelo18 @apollukee @nightapple4jk @peachthi @pimpnameyannie @xtrataerrestrial @somewhereinthestarss @xxminilah

[nahimjustfeelingit-writes]

Imagine 😈

Erik getting caught fucking a sex doll and plus sized Reader catches him in the act/ Fic inspired by Tanerélle- Mama Saturn.

Warnings: Straight up SMUT. Nothing but smut.

Y/N.

A sinful treat that Erik wanted to devour every single time he saw her. Sexy bitch. He likes a girl that’s a bit of a challenge to get into his bed. She didn’t wear her pussy power on her sleeve. Not a church girl exactly but one who’ll play mouse to his sharp-clawed cat. Y/N was exactly that challenge. She’s a plus sized model from Washington DC that Erik had the pleasure of meeting during a block party/ fundraiser in Oakland CA for the Wakandan Outreach Center.

She volunteered for one of the booths there and Erik couldn’t help but to talk to her. She compelled him. Erik found himself enjoying her east coast accent and how much she loved being a model. It was the only thing she’d ever wanted to do, and she was in it for the long haul. She was turned down plenty of times; denied opportunities because of her “shape”. Bullshit. Complete bullshit. Her shape, her overall beauty...Erik’s thoughts lingered on her pretty face and equally beautiful body even after he went home from the office, picturing her standing behind him while he showered, arms wrapped around his waist, her face nuzzled into the small of his back.

Okay...that wasn’t all he pictured. He’d pictured bending her over his California King Bed, her hands fisting the 800 thread count sheets while he plunged his fat dick deep inside of her throbbing pussy, making her cum almost instantly. He pictured her losing some of the calm control she exerted over every other aspect of her being, trusting him to be there to catch her as she trembled her way to ecstasy. From simple meet ups whenever she came around the Outreach, Y/N wasn’t the girl who threw her pussy around like a Frisbee. Fucking perfect. He liked inexperienced puss.

Good, Erik wants that. He wanted nothing more than to break that puss in hot and raw with his sizable appendage. A pretty puss that he could turn out. She’ll remember him in that pretty kitty. He’d never taken the time to actually become friends with a women without sex being involved. Y/N was just that. She would come over at times to chill with Erik, watching movies or chatting it up. Even though Erik wanted to fuck her, he still appreciates the times where they would just link up and bond. It got so crazy that Erik gave her a spare key whenever she needed a place to escape to when he was out of town with his cousin; the King of Wakanda. Every time he would come back home, her smell...nutmeg and vanilla bean would still be there. In his sheets. In his kitchen. On his couch. Ugh. He was half tempted to let her move in since she couldn’t stand living with her roommate.

“Have you ever had your big, juicy ass properly worshipped?”

That’s what he wanted to ask her while staring at her proud, thick, curves before him, imaging the luscious mocha color of her booty straining as she bounced gently up and down his big, fat dick. Her heavy bottom was the perfect roundness, a reward for Erik’s months without sex, of yearning to kneel down in front of her, to taste her sweet pussy and touch her beautiful voluptuous body.

This is all your fault, Y/N

Erik found himself doing something he hasn’t done in a long time. It was a late Thursday evening, he drove past a Sex Shop he’s been meaning to explore. Succulent was the name of it, one of the C’s blinking in and out from the faulty light bulbs. Big, read cursive letters over top of a sleazy adult toy shop in the heart of Oakland on a rainy Thursday evening. He needed a release. He hadn’t seen Y/N for a couple of days since she went to visit family in Atlantic City. She teased him with a few sexy pics in skimpy dresses and bikinis and Erik shamelessly beat his hefty dick to the images.

Parking his car, paying the meter to avoid a ticket, Erik pulled his windbreaker hood over his head to shield the rain drops, slamming his door shut before checking that the coast was clear to cross over. Once his left foot hit the cracked and wet pavement, Erik stood in front of the sex shop, rain hitting his lashes and the tip of his nose, his face illuminated by the LED lights that warmed his russet skin and sparked his nerves. In the display window, there are a few tall boxes with a picture of a very very titillating black women that looked like a cosmic beauty with an Afro and eyes that sparkles like diamonds. Her naked body glistened like some supernova sex goddess, skin like midnight. On the outside of the boxes there are big, bubble gum pink letters surrounding it.

Mama Saturn Kan Make U Kream!

Erik opens the door, a soft bell dinging above his head. The shop smelled like scented candles. The rug was a plush royal purple and the lights were dimmed to set the mood. Rows and rows filled with any and everything SEX. Occupying the register is a young black girl with long passion twists in her hair pulled up into a bun, a matching legging set colored peach with gold gladiator sandals on her feet. She’s currently standing on a step ladder, putting up the same sign in the window above a display behind the register.

Mama Saturn Kan Make u Kream!

“Hi!!!”

She was upbeat and good-humored with a pretty smile and hazel eyes. Erik returned a half smirk, the dimple in his right cheek creating a deep hollow. He removed his hood before taking his right hand to shake out his tapered dreads.

“My name is Shay, if you need any help at all, let me know,” she looked Erik over with appreciative eyes.

“I’ll let you know if I need anything Shay,” Erik says before walking further into the store, his eyes moving from left to right as he took in the scenery. Smaller shelves filled with DVD’s and porn magazines were situated in the front. Erik picked up a few to look over. Ebony Lust, XXX Cocoa, Busty Mochas, Ghetto Booty Queens...

This store must be owned by a black male or female. Erik really liked that. He could see a few white men flipping through pages, eyes as big as saucers staring at all that chocolate, divine booty and pussy on those pages, the visuals popping out at them like 3D pictures. Erik bobbed his head to Megan Thee Stallion’s- Sex Talk while peeking down a few aisles to explore. What Erik hadn’t noticed until now is that there are booths in the back with a black velvet curtain as the only concealment. Curious, gait so smooth, Erik made his way down an aisle filled with male sex toys to see what was behind those curtains.

Finally there, standing before one of them, Erik pulled the curtain back. The booth was small and cramped. It was one of those booths where you put a quarter in a slot to watch a quick porn scene. The booth and walls were nice and clean, painted black like the curtains, but Erik could only imagine how it looked before. Cum stains on the floor and on the booths, women watching the thirty second flick while rubbing themselves down. Men slipping their dicks past the velvet curtains like a glory hole so they could provide something for the women to suck and slurp on. 

“You can go in if you like. It’s only a quarter.”

Erik was alarmed when he felt a small hand rub the tension from his muscles. Turning to look over his broad shoulder, Erik’s whiskey-colored eyes fell on a 5’5, caramel skinned baddie. It was Shay, the store clerk. 

“Just make sure you wipe up when you’re finished, okay?”

Erik chuckles, releasing the curtain so that it can close, “Damn...it gets that messy, huh?”

“Oh, yeah,” Shay shakes her head with a grin, “I can’t even begin to tell you what goes on beyond these curtains...some of the shit I’ve seen...”

“Wild,” Erik licks his lips.

“Like I said, you can go inside, the flicks are only thirty seconds but it’s worth it,” She says with a honeyed tone.

“Yeah...I need more than thirty seconds to bust a nut, ma. That’s not nearly good enough.”

“Oh?” Shay folds her arms across her small cleavage, “See...I can tell you’re no amateur. You’ve probably tried a lot of the toys in here with women.”

Erik’s lips twisted in thought, eyes heavenward, “I’ve tried a lot of things...I guess you can say I’m an expert...what? You got something that will spark my interest?”

“Just the thing,” Shay walks closer, making her voice smaller, “ Mama Saturn can make you cream.”

“Mama Saturn?” Erik blinks his eyes down at Shay before pointing towards the front of the store, “You mean the sex doll in the display window? Nah, that’s not my type of thing, baby girl.”

“You’d be surprised. Ten have already been sold and they came in today. They’re selling out in other sex shops too. Thanks to one of Tony Stark’s ex-employees that worked in his artificial intelligence department.”

Erik’s eyes squinted as he elevated a single brow down at Shay. If one of Tony Stark’s ex-employees created Mama Saturn it must be an impressive design, almost like the real thing. He knew it had to cost an arm, leg, and head. Erik wasn’t going to lie, he is curious about the sex doll. He remembers laughing about men fucking sex dolls. Who would want to stick their dick in a plastic blow up doll to bust a nut? The shit was comical. 

“Well, I’ll leave you to it,” Shay gently squeezes Erik’s bicep, “if you change your mind about Mama Saturn, you know where to find me, handsome.” 

Erik regarded Shay as she sashayed away down one of the rows filled with erotica before disappearing completely. It was midnight and he was standing in a sex shop. He came here to buy something he probably already has packed away in one of his heavy duty suitcases at the back of his closet. Toys he hasn’t used in FOREVER since he laid his eyes on Y/N. He’s been courting Y/N for months. Yes, Erik “the pussy monster” Stevens. He didn’t earn that nickname just for the fun of it. 

He could only imagine the women he used to sleep with seeing him again. They wouldn’t hesitate to give him the finger or an evil scowl  and for the most part he didn’t blame them. He was selfish, greedy and horny in his younger years, too full of himself to appreciate the true joy a woman could bring him on all levels. Erik has never been in a situation where he wasn’t in a hurry to get a girl out of her clothes, to figure out who she was by the way she writhed, the way she moaned his name into the pillow or his ear, the way she came on his dick or his tongue. 

Deciding to get something quick; some new BDSM toys, Erik grabs a basket, filling it up with handcuffs, edible lube, vibrating tongue covers, candles for hot wax play, nipple clamps, floggers, anything so he could get home for the evening. An evening he could be spending sitting up on the phone with Y/N, her sweet voice keeping him company while he was in bed. Erik trailed to the front of the shop, standing behind a few men. One of them he noticed carried a box with the sex doll inside; the long box in front of him. 

“That will be…$105.86,” Shay watches the customer insert his chip into the card machine, his transaction completed. 

“I can help you!” Shay called to the man with the sex doll. She began ringing him up, Erik’s eyes looking at one of  the boxes in the window.

Tell me all your names, baby

Tell me all your names, I need to know

Then I'll tell you mine, baby

Then I’ll tell you mine and we can go

To past the time

Shift paradigms

Align our bodies with the sky

'Til I am yours and you are mine…

The song began to play with the surround sound of the sex shop. The sultry voice called for him, tickling his ears and making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. 

I'd do anything for you

Yeah, I’d do anything for you

Baby, just say the word

And we make perfect sense

God could not resist no

I can feel the urge

To drop defense

At my expense

Allow my body to ascend

Along with yours

Let love commence…

“That’s all for you today?”

Erik was the only one left in line now. 

“Shit, it’s late as hell,” Erik spoke in his defense, “Long ass day.” 

“No problem, handsome,” Shay rings in his items, “Candles?”

“You never know,” Erik chuckles with his signature half smirk.

Close my eyes, embrace my matter

Swing my hips as if they bear the rings of Mama Saturn

Stretch my vertebrae so we can climb it like a ladder

And step into our world…

“Who is this?” Erik asks with fondness in his voice.

Mama Saturn,” Shay says with a coy smile, “Well, she’s who inspired the design of this sex doll. 

Erik couldn’t keep his eyes off of the boxes in the windows. What was it that made this sex doll so compelling? Maybe it was because he was aching for a sexual release. Maybe because he wanted to know why this sex doll was so popular. Did it do tricks? Did it talk to you? Was it designed to feel like the real thing? A really pussy?

“...how much for one of those sex dolls?”

Shay tried to fight a smile but the corners of her lips couldn’t help but to turn up. 

“2,000.” Shay says flat out.

“Makes sense,” Erik didn’t flinch at the price, he expected it to be that much especially since it was created by an ex-coworker of Tony Stark. 

“Last chance,” Shay teases, all of his other items priced at $78.86.”  

“Shit, why not, add one to the total.”

—————————-

Friday Evening

“hmmm what can you do?” Erik paced his bedroom in a pair of grey sweats and a plain white T-shirt. The manual for Mama Saturn rested between his fingers, the doll itself sitting in a recliner chair in his bedroom. The doll was indeed impressive. The skin felt so real, the face just as mind blowing. Erik honestly felt that 2,000 was a snag compared to what it should be retailed for. He had it charging since this morning since he planned on testing it out tonight. 

“Mama Saturn can make you cream...I act out live fantasies for you...charge me up and take me for a ride...you won’t even tell the difference between the real thing and me...”

Erik shakes his head before folding up the instructions. He looked over at Mama Saturn sitting in the chair, the eyes on that doll feeling more and more realistic the longer Erik gazed. Tearing his eyes away, Erik reached for his glass tumbler filled with cognac, taking a long sip. Was he really going to fuck a sex doll? The thought of it has him laughing into his glass. Wiping liquor from his chin, Erik’s phone began to vibrate in his pocket. Erik pulls it out to find Y/N calling him. Placing his drink down, Erik answers the call, resting on the edge of his bed.

“Hello?”

“Erik?” 

He felt warmth creep up his belly.

“Hey,” He says with a soft spoken voice. 

“I missed you,” She sighs, “I had to cut my vacation short.”

“I missed you too,” He really wanted to tell her to come see him since her trip ended so quickly, “Wasn’t even there for 48 hours.”

“Well...my family is pretty broken. I was hoping to make amends but that didn’t work out. I was not going to be there for two more nights and deal with it.”

Erik lays back against his bed, sliding the instructions to Mama Saturn to the side, “If i were there to keep you company the trip would have been better...am I lying?”

She giggles, “No. you would have made it even better.”

Y/N grew silent on the other end, the sound of her turn signal blaring through the phone.

“Where are you?” Erik asks.

“I’m on my way home from the airport. I’m tired, I need some sleep. I have a lingerie shoot in the AM.”

“Jet lagged, huh?” Erik runs his fingers through his dreads, “Once you get in that house you’re ass is gonna be passed out on the couch.”

“I know! I was thinking damn it’s a Friday night and I’m usually eating Chinese with Erik intstead of by myself on his couch but yessss I am entirely too tired to stay up late. Rain check?”

Erik hopes he didn’t have disappointment in his voice when he responded, “Yeah, of course. If you’re free tomorrow you can come over.”

“I’ll hold you to that, Erik...let me get off of this phone, I’m almost home. Night, Erik!”

“Night, ma,” Erik ends the call, resting his phone against his chest, “Damn…”

Erik looks up and over his head at the sex doll. Lifting up, stretching his arms above his head, Erik exhales before removing his sweats and his T-shirt, sitting on the edge of the bed completely naked now minus the gold chain around his neck and his Nike socks. His dick was semi erect between his legs, resting against his inner thigh. The minute he went to grab his smooth, brown dick it thrummed against the palm of his hand. Erik rolls his tongue along the inside of his left cheek.

Standing, Erik walks over to his closet, opening it and grabbing one of his suitcases filled with sex toys. Opening the suitcase, Erik grabs a bottle of lube before closing it back up. Erik shook the bottle, the contents inside sloshing around. Erik with his lube in hand walked over to Mama Saturn seated on his recliner chair. He stood before the sex doll, his eyes dancing over it, wrapping his mind around the fact that he was about to fuck the shit out of this doll. Grabbing the remote control that came with it, Erik admires the different vibration and pulse settings. 

Erik grabs the sex doll, bringing it to his bed before resting it in the middle of it. Even caressing the thighs was bizarre. Eyebrows disappearing behind the curtain of tapered dreads resting over his forehead, Erik pulls the legs apart on Mama Saturn, eyes growing wider the more he stares at her “pussy”.

“No fucking way,” Erik was stunned. 

Before him is a pussy molded for him to deep-dive into. The ULTRASKYN material is smooth. He was going to need A LOT of lube to help his fat dick glide inside of Mama Saturn’s soft, fully detailed vagina. Erik takes his finger tips to stroke the outer lips of her mound. Erik cracked a smile when he used his finger to insert inside of the realistic sex doll. Flexible, walls covered with countless ridges to create a realistic sensation. 

“Shit,” Erik says barely above a whisper, “they weren't playing when they made you…”

Erik removes his finger, grabbing up his lube to cover his dick and balls generously before doing the same thing to Mama Saturn’s vagina and...how impressive, her asshole. Three holes to explore including her life-like mouth with lips so full. Mama Saturn is amazingly detailed from the smooth texture of her skin to her brown eyes with luxurious lashes, curly fro, and plump lips. Erik decided to try out the mouth first. His dick hasn’t been in a woman’s mouth for months. This will have to do for now until he finally gets a chance with Y/N. 

Using his fingers, Erik opens her mouth, amazed to see a smooth pink tongue and a deep throat. It’s a sex doll so he knew it would be never ending. His pipe would be able to go deep in all three of her holes without a barrier. Grabbing his dick at the base, jerking it, Erik lines his dick up with the mouth on Mama Saturn before pushing himself fully inside. 

“Ooh?” Erik shuttered, his gluteal muscles tight, “fuck...fuckk.”

Shocked, confounded, dazed, Erik stared down at the doll like it came to life and slapped him across his pretty face. What else can you do, he thought before grabbing the remote, pressing a random button. His body almost fell on top of the sex doll. Erik just knew that there was some man out there, lonely and undesired who would marry this fucking doll. Mama Saturn’s mouth and throat are lined with stimulators to make Erik bust strong and hard. The squishy, ribbed texture along with the way it pulsates and vibrates had Erik grabbing a fist full of the doll's hair that felt so silky smooth to the touch, the curls coiling around his thick fingers.

“Goddamn,” He whispered shallowly from his lungs, “ahhhHHH, fuck this fucking doll ain’t no joke!” He spoke through clenched teeth.

Who knew a damn sex doll would make his balls tight and heavy with cum and his dick so damn hard he could bench press a barbell. His thrusts became even more sloppy, hips smashing into the realistic face of Mama Saturn. So much room for him to swivel his hips, ram his dick in hard and fast, and yank and pull her hair. No teeth, just straight slippery ridges giving him an ultimate sensation. 

“Unh, shit,” Erik felt the muscles in his back flex, “Shit is so deep.” 

Deeper than the real thing. Nothing compared to the real thing, NOT AT ALL but Erik could understand in that moment while his dick went in and out with a gluttony to cum why this toy sold as much as it did. One thing for him to check off his list of sexual exploration. The sheen of sweat on his back trickled down over his ass and the muscles in his arms trembled the more he lowered that doll's mouth over his dick. 

“SHIT- oh my fucking God-“

Erik pulls his dick out, stroking it a good two times before his thick, tasty cum landed on the doll's face. It was the vibrations and the pulses. He’d never cum that quick from oral. 

“Mmmm,” He moans, before rubbing the last bit of his nut on the doll’s face, “This is so wild.”

Dick still poked out and nowhere near softening up, Erik pries Mama Saturn’s legs apart, staring down at the realistic vagina with horny curiosity. Once again, Erik slips his fingers inside, closing his eyes and imagining that it was Y/N’s pussy he was fingering. She had to have the fattest pussy ever, not to mention the wettest pussy ever. She would probably cover his entire hand with her slick juices. Biting his lip, Erik lines his sensitive, wide tip up with the tight opening on that damn doll. With a slight shake of his head, Erik’s dick slipped past the flesh-like labia before fully burying inside. 

“Ugh! Shit!” Erik’s head flew back, eyelids flickering, “Shit don’t make no sense…”

He was frustrated with himself for fucking a sex doll when he could be ten inches deep in Y/N’s pussy with his balls slapping her ass. Hips pistoning in and out of Mama Saturn while his sweat dropped from the tip of his nose, Erik kept his eyes closed as he imagined this doll being Y/N, staring up at him with her innocent brown eyes, confused and moaning. He imagined that he was with her, sliding hot and nasty against her sweaty body, watching her arch and stretch as he pulled his dick almost all the way out of her gorgeous, slick pussy, then slamming it back in and making her scream. 

“Y/N...damn...your pussy feels so good Y/N...I knew that puss would be nice and tight for daddy’s fat dick, baby...I just wanna make you cum, girl...fuck...I just wanna feel that sticky cum all over this big-fucking-dick-

“Erik?”

“Yeah? I’m in that pussy baby? Daddy fucking that pussy?”

“Erik…”

“Yeah, call daddy’s name like that, Unh fuck, girl...pussy is so damn good-

“Erik!”

His eyes popped open almost instantly when he heard Y/N’s voice elevate. The vibration from Mama Saturn shot straight to his heavy sack before Bam!!!! His cum filled that toy to the hilt. Erik pulled his body away from the doll, staring at it with bewildered eyes while his dick bobbed up and down between his legs. Did it just speak? Now his mind was really playing tricks on him…

“Erik-Erik I’m, I’m so sorry.”

A jarring expression on his sweaty face, Erik turns towards the entrance to his room to find Y/N standing there in a fabletics outfit with a Nike cap covering her braided hair, white Nike huarache on her feet, and a take out bag in her left hand. She was frozen, her eyes dancing between the doll covered in his cum and his naked body glistening and still very much hardened. 

“Y/N-

“I’m really fucking sorry Erik, oh, fuck, I’m so fucking sorry I feel so bad for walking in on you like this, Erik shit, I’m sorry-

“I...I thought you were going home?” 

“I...was...but...I…” she instantly stopped speaking. Y/N’s eyes could not stop looking at the doll and Erik’s body. She was half-tempted to drop the food and scurry away but the scene in front of her eyes…

“Y/N? How long have you been standing there?”

Longer than she would like to admit. When Erik hung up she decided last minute to surprise him with food. Y/N wanted badly to see Erik, hoping that tonight would finally be the night that he would take advantage of her but instead he’s taking advantage of a sex doll that he envisioned was herself taking his big ass dick. All that dick that he was giving to a sex doll…

“I’m just...I think...Erik I’m sorry,” Y/N turned on her heels, taking wide strides to his kitchen to drop off the food and rush out of his luxury apartment. She didn’t know that having his key would lead to her walking in on him having a blast with a sex doll. She felt embarrassed. Erik looked abashed for a second but then his body seemed to relax, his nudity and the sex doll with its legs wide open before him just another thing in his room. 

“Y/N! Wait!” She could hear Erik getting up from his bed. Looking over her shoulder, she could see Erik walking towards her, still naked, dick swaying, eyes soft and pleading for her to stay. 

“Erik, I’m sorry,” She couldn’t stop apologizing. She was at his door, twisting the knob when his hand grasped her shoulder. Y/N didn’t turn, she couldn’t bring herself to face him while his amazingly-built body and that beautiful, fat dick stares back at her, inviting her. 

“Stop apologizing,” He used force, turning Y/N completely, her back pressing against the door hard. She turned her head away from him, looking over his sweaty shoulder. 

“It’s nothing for you to feel sorry about, Y/N...I just wasn’t expecting to see you tonight…”

She could smell his sweat...it was an intensely masculine scent. The spiced nuances burned her nose, she could even smell a hint of cocoa. His entire atmosphere warmed her and electrified her body in ways she hadn’t felt since forever. Why was he doing this? Standing before her, looking down at her with his blazing eyes, fully naked and still as stiff as concrete. 

“Last minute decision,” she stuck her hand in a small pocket on the side of her athletic leggings, “Here...your key back-

“Nah,” Erik folded his hand over hers, “Keep it...I like it when you use it...makes me think you live here with me…”

She looked at him then. Their eyes matched the same compulsion. 

“What?” He asks with a whisper.

“...Erik, I should go,” Y/N went back to twisting the knob but her eyes stayed glued to his, “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He closed his eyes before raising a single brow, “I really wish it was you instead, Y/N...I really wish it was you, girl.”

His eyes opened and THAT'S when things really turned up. His body pressed into hers, the flesh of his girthy dick resting against her stomach from their height difference. He was still sticky down there from using lube to fuck that doll. She swallowed spit, lower lip trembling as she watched his face get dangerously close to hers. 

“You don’t know how bad I need you,” He mumbles, “Stay, please? here,” Erik reaches for her hand, Y/N’s fingertips touching the swollen, wide tip of his dick. She gasped, eyes glossy. Erik made her wrap her hand around his dick, her fingertips barely touching. 

“Please?” His eyes swam with lust as he studied her face.

The urgency in his voice made her quiver. This was too much to unfold at the moment. The doll was still on his bed. Could she really have sex with him right now after he just ejaculated inside of a fake vagina? His fingers lightly touched her hips and Y/N’s lower lip rested between her teeth. While she nibbled nervously, Erik’s warm breath tickled her cheek. His lips were so close. 

“I wanna fuck you,” He whispered, “I wanna fuck you so bad, Y/N.”

“Not now, Erik,” Y/N pushed herself away from him gently, quickly opening the door, “I’m sorry.”

She didn’t look back, her mind was swirling with tremendous confusion. She did have an early shoot in the AM and she was indeed jet lagged. As he called her name, his voice desperate, Y/N decided to take the staircase so he wouldn’t follow her, or worse, pick her up and carry her back into his apartment, MAKING HER STAY. She stopped on the next level to catch her breath before deciding to take the elevators the rest of the way down. How was she going to face him the next day after what she just witnessed? She had to sleep it off.

—————————

Y/N sat down on a fluffy white sofa after shooting her last few pictures with her personal photographer. Dressed in a black leather lingerie set with matching leather gloves and a choker that spelled out Baby Girl in silver lettering, Y/N thought about what happened just six hours prior. 

She didn’t call or text Erik. She couldn’t bring herself to do it yet. He gave her space even though a part of her missed his silly texts. He liked to send her voice messages instead of typing. She didn’t complain, his husky voice was ear porn for her. 

“We did good today,” Her photographer, Bruce, a good friend and talented artist says while looking at her pictures on his camera, “You just get sexier and sexier every time I see you.”

She blushed, “Thanks, Bruce. When are you going to show me those sexy polaroids of your fiancé and all her thickness?”

“I’ll bring them next week, I promise,” Bruce walks away to put his camera in its designated bag.

“Let me get dressed,” Y/N stood up from the sofa, “I’ll lock up, Bruce, you don’t have to worry about it. Go home and take your fiancé to brunch.”

“You’re sure? Ain’t no rush for me.”

“I’m positive, go on,” Y/N waved him away while grabbing a robe from her vanity to put on, “Treat her to some food and have a good time.”

“Thanks, Y/N, I’ll see you next week, Aight? I got Jayla hooking you up with a sexy set of dresses. I’ll see you at 8 AM, next Saturday.”

“Can’t wait! Bye Bruce!”

Y/N gave him a final wave as she watched him leave the studio. She was just about to gather her things and get dressed when a knock came to the studio door. Y/N sat her things back down, walking towards the front of the studio and finding a man standing at the door, his head downcast as he typed on his phone. She couldn’t make out his face because it was shielded behind a hood. He wore a denim jacket over his hood with a pair of black cargo pants and black and white Jordan 13’s on his feet. 

Her phone rang. Reaching into her robe pocket, Y/N pulls out her phone. 

Erik.

Her eyes shot up towards the door, his eyes staring back at her through the glass. There was no use in ignoring him, he could see her through the glass, wrapped in a robe. With an irregular breath, Y/N walked to the door, unlocking it before stepping away. Erik opened the door, pulling his hood off of his head before allowing the door to swing shut behind him. He turned, locking the door before facing her again with searching eyes. 

“How was the shoot?” He asks while placing his hands in the pockets of his denim jacket.

“It was great, always great,” Y/N’s eyes darted around the studio, “What are you doing here?”

“Figured I would try to show up and see you work but I’m too late,” Erik’s eyes burned into hers, “Then I figured we could get something to eat and talk about what went down last night before you ran away from me.”

She wasn’t getting out of this. Y/N motioned for Erik to follow her towards the back of the studio where Bruce’s backdrops and furniture were. Erik took a seat on the white sofa, Y/N right next to him, folding her shiny, chocolate legs. Erik couldn’t help but to glimpse a peek of her smooth legs and the little bit of cleavage that teased him through the small opening at the top of the robe. Beneath that thick robe was a body he wanted so deeply he shivered. There was so much to see and taste and touch. If he pulled that robe from her body he wouldn’t know where to start or finish. 

“I ain’t expect for you to see all of that,” Erik spoke with his hands, eyes glancing over at her from time to time, “how did you feel when you saw me fucking the doll?”

“Uhm…” Y/N adjusted her hips on the sofa, “It was shocking...I guess I was a little turned on by it…” she couldn’t bring herself to look at him.

“If you were turned on...why didn’t you stay?” 

Y/N batted her lashes as she gave him a once-over, “Because it was too much to deal with. The doll...your body…”

“Hm,” Erik observed her with his whiskey eyes, “I really wish you would have stayed with me…”

“I will tonight...I am right now,” She gave him a soft, timid smile.

“Yeah...you are right now,” Erik bites his lower lip, “I’ve been wanting you for months now, Y/N...you heard what I said last night while I was fucking the doll?”

She nibbled on the corner of her bottom lip before shaking her head, “I don’t remember.”

Erik scoots closer, grabbing one of Y/N’s hands, “I said that I wanna make you cum.”

With a shivering inhale, Y/N’s hand in Erik’s became sweaty. 

“I’m tired of playing games when I know you’re feeling me too...I know you want me just as much as I want you. I waited for months, I’m tired of fucking around, Y/N.”

“I do want you, I just didn’t want to rush into things. I didn’t want to get my hopes up about you so damn fast but I just couldn’t help myself...Seeing you like that last night I…”

Her brown eyes blazed into Erik’s. Y/N scoots closer, her hand nervously reaching out to tug on the collar of his denim jacket, “How long have you wanted to fuck me, Erik?”

“Since the first time I laid eyes on you,” Erik stared down at her hand pulling harder, the fabric applying pressure against his neck. His smile was that of a predator spotting its prey, victory assured. Pure, dumb-founded lust was painted on her beautiful, round face. 

“Same,” She says barely above a whisper, “Oh, Erik.”

That was an invitation to pull her on his lap. Erik wrapped his arms around her plump body, his left hand coming up to palm the back of her head so that he could hold her steady while his thick tongue slipped past her lips and into her warm mouth. Y/N reached up to grasp his shoulders, her breath halting each time Erik’s tongue would graze hers. 

“Take this off,” He spoke against her lips, “I need to see all of you…”

Without hesitation, lips still pressed against his, Y/N opened her robe before shimmying it off her shoulders, letting it fall on the floor.

“Damn...this is exactly what I pictured.” 

All her curves...all that chocolate skin...everything for him to bite and lick on. 

“You looking sexy as fuck in my lap, ma,” Erik’s hands couldn’t resist reaching behind her and rubbing her sizable cheeks.

“All this ass…” He wanted nothing more than to pull all of her weight down on his dick, “You don’t know how bad I want to fuck you right now-

“Please?” She begged.

“You remember how I put this dick in that doll? I was fucking that doll like crazy wasn’t I? with all this big dick you sitting on?”

Visions of him screwing that sex doll with all of his fat dick has her more than prepared to take him right there on that couch no matter how many times it needed to be. She’d fuck him and let him put her body in different positions. Anything he wanted, anything he imagined himself doing, he can do that shit. 

“Stand up,” Erik instructed with his hands resting on Y/N’s hips. 

She stood from his lap, the sexy lingerie making his mouth water. Erik rose from his seat, taking off his denim jacket and his hoodie. With a white beater stretched across his vigorously ripped body, Erik wraps his toned, bulging biceps around Y/N’s waist, kisses long and hot-blooded while he backs her against a nearby wall. Y/N fought for oxygen between kisses, releasing her lips to inhale but it only lasted a millisecond because Erik’s hungry lips were back on hers. 

As sexy as the lingerie was on her beautiful body Erik needed to see all of her before him. Reluctantly releasing his lips from hers, Erik presses his forehead against Y/N’s, his hands trailing over the patent leather of the bra and panties she wore. The set barely covered her breasts or her ass. Heavily breathing against her cheek, Erik reached around to unclamp the bra that was struggling to hold up her DD’s. She didn’t stop him, she didn’t tell him no, she simply allowed him to pull the leather from her smooth chocolate skin. 

“They are so fucking pretty,” Erik kisses down her neck, “delicious titties baby…” his lower lip poked out when he got closer to her dark brown nipples, “I ain’t even put your titty in my mouth yet and look what you got my dick looking like…”

She heard his zipper, his jagged, labored breath tickling her nipples, “Look what I got for you…”

She took in the sight of his big black dick and at the moment she could already feel her pussy expanding to take all of him. The throbbing deep inside of her itched to feel just how much that fat dick would pound her. Y/N isn’t nowhere near experienced with big black dicks but staring at Erik’s thick pipe made her want to learn with speedy delight. sucking a dick like that she just has to get that mouthful of sperm.  She wanted to slow down, take her time and really ENJOY the sheer pleasure of licking, sucking, feeling, smelling and just making him feel the best he’s ever felt before. 

“Damn, Erik…” Y/N licks her bottom lip, “that’s a big fella.”

Erik chuckles, “can you take it though? That’s the question,” His hands came up to squeeze one of her breasts, “big ass titties...you are just perfect.” He was amazed by her sheer motherfucking sexiness. Tongue dripping spit Erik lowers his head to suck one of her nipples into his mouth. Face in between her titties Erik felt smothered in the best way the more she squirmed. Staring at them now they looked bigger than what he expected which makes the situation even better. 

Y/N stroked his dick with a twist of her wrist while Erik’s hips thrust back and forth into her hand. She took the time to memorize his length and thickness while slowly jerking him into extreme stiffness. Erik has her breasts covered in saliva the more he nibbled and sucked. 

Hissing, Erik removes his lips from her hardened nipple, “put your hands up on the wall.”

Y/N turned, her back arched with her hips propelled back against his dick. Erik got down on his knees, her ass hovering about him, and pulled down her patent leather panties. The tight leather was a struggle to get over her big ass. The panties were digging into her thick thighs and she struggled to stay arched against the wall with her titties smashed. 

“Erik,” She called to him, trying to look over her shoulder, “What are you about to do to me?”

Her timid voice has Erik’s dick pointed straight up like a skyscraper. The visual before him, her plump pussy lips peeking at him from the back with her large, wide ass...Erik couldn’t resist giving each cheek a solid slap, the sound echoing in the room as the sting reverberated in his palm, “Have you ever had this big, juicy ass properly worshipped?”

“No,” came her muffled reply as Erik spread her open and let his thick, long tongue explore her sweet curves. His hands pressed painfully into her twin globes before spreading them as far as they could go, giving himself room to taste her sensitive pussy. 

“Unh, Erik,” she whimpers. 

Erik curled his tongue into a point and dove right in while his finger circled her asshole, teasing it. She took in a sharp breath, her ass jiggling from the pressure he applied. Erik could tell that she never took any dick up her ass and he would surely be the first to introduce it to her. 

“Spread your thighs, girl,” Erik commanded, “I’m tryna eat…”

“Fuck, Erik,” Y/N felt his thumbs stroke her wet pussy lips before they parted her pussy lips. Awaiting his assault, Y/N clawed the wall with her acrylic nails. Her mouth fell open wide when she felt his tongue dip in and out of her back door. He was tongue-fucking her ass on his knees, madly slurping and getting it nice and wet. She would have never imagined a man doing that to her, EVER. 

“Oooh, Erik! Oooh shit!” 

Erik worshipped Y/N’s ass like he would never get another chance, his tongue savoring her sweetness while her pussy juices dripped. Her pussy needed attention too so Erik moved his tongue up and down from her ass to her clit while his sturdy thumbs kept her pussy lips open. 

“Ugh, Damn, girl,” Erik swallowed spit, his face shiny, “don’t know where I want my tongue first...this big ass or this fat pussy…”

“All over me, please!” 

“Let me taste that clit,” Erik’s lips sucked her clit into his mouth. His eyelids fluttered the more he savored her. Her sweet, sweet pussy compelled him to bury three of his fingers inside of her pussy. When she felt the thickness of his fingers enter her, Y/N shouted, reaching back to hold one of her hefty cheeks open. 

“Yes, yes, yes!!!” Erik heard her cry, a little louder than before as he pressed his three fingers deep into her tight tunnel. With her hips rocking back on his hand, Erik feasted on her bottom, her strikingly soft mounds against his cheeks massaging him while he coaxed her into an orgasm. 

“Yes! Erik yes! Please keep doing that! Oh God! Erik I’m cumming!!!!!!!” 

Quickly, Erik’s fingers left her pussy to spread her ass cheeks extensively, his entire mouth wrapped around her pussy as best as he could since she’s so damn fat down there. He could feel her sticky syrup coat his tongue. He could eat her ass and pussy all damn day but now he needed to be inside of her. Slow stuffing, balls deep, make her cream. That was his motto. He wanted to make her cum on his dick so damn bad. 

“Come here,” Erik barked out, picking Y/N up and carrying her to the sofa. He lays her down on her back, spreading her legs wide open for him while she leaned back on her elbows watching. Erik couldn’t wait to get his dick inside of her. The second her pussy lips parted and her tight, wet hole winked at him Erik fisted his dick, dipping his hips low before sliding inside of her. Her head fell back against the sofa, braids resting over her eyes and a steady moan escaping her mouth. 

While her head twisted from side to side, Erik watched the way his dick went in and out of her pussy. He loved the sounds her pussy made whenever he pulled his dick all the way out to his wide tip before sliding back in. She was the wettest. Each time he pulled out her juices would gush out. 

“This pussy is swallowing this big dick, girl...you ain’t tell me it was this deep...ain’t flinch at all when I got up in this fat pussy.”

“No,” She moaned.

“It’s cuz this pussy needed my dick, huh?”

“Yes,” She closed her eyes, savoring the way his curved erection bounced off her walls, “yes...yes...yes.”

“Yes yes what?” Erik asks while pounding into her on the edge of the couch, “you got my balls heavy with this nut, what’s that yes for, huh?”

“Your dick is just so big inside of me...all up in me…”

Erik threw her legs over his shoulders and rocked into her with a force that has her ass lifting off of the couch to meet his thrusts. It was like magic to her the way her body reacted to him. She grasped his biceps, her bouncing breasts hitting her chin the more he picked up speed. He would thrust fast then slow, repeating that, making her tip over the edge.

“Can I cum please?” She pleaded.

“As long as I get to cum in this pussy, girl,” Erik pulled all the way out, his eyes staring down at her stretched hole, “Can I cum in this pretty pussy?”

“Cum in your pussy, Erik.”

That was all he needed to hear. Erik angles his hips so that he could stroke her G spot with his wide tip. Y/N’s toes curled, her thighs squeezing Erik’s neck. She felt her body shaking and convulsing while his pulsating dick reached depths inside of her she didn’t know existed. 

“Oooh, I’m gonna cum,” She mumbled, mouth opening and closing with no sound coming out. She hit Erik’s chest with weak blows before her heavenly pussy pulled his dick into a tight embrace. Erik growled as his glutes tensed. He could feel his veiny dick swell inside of her like he was ready to pop. Erik watched his big dick spurt thick load after thick load into her pussy. 

“Damn, Y/N, FUCK GIRL, look what you got this dick doing! Let me see all of it.”

Erik pulls out watching his jizz ooze out and on the couch. She rubbed her clit while pushing his cum out and Erik’s eyes rolled shut at the beautiful view. 

“Lift that ass up...Turn the fuck around I need some more pussy..waited too long for this...watch how I handle you girl.” 

Y/N turned around on the couch, whimpering when Erik’s hands came down on her ass hard to force her to move. As soon as she was on her stomach, Erik yanked her hips hard, pointing her ass into the air before slamming back inside of her pussy. She didn’t throw it back on him, too eager for him to do all of the work inside of her pussy. 

“Just lay there and let me take care of this pussy…”

Erik kicked off his pants, his hands slapping her ass before they grabbed hold of her plush hips so that he could bang into her. Erik watched her face, wanting to see every single reaction his fat dick gave her. He had her for sure, especially with the way she drooled on the couch. 

“Fuck yeah this pussy is good-

“Oooh-

“Yeah? You feel me digging this pussy out? Huh? This dick about to bust…”

She gasped when she felt Erik’s heavy balls hit her clit. He was pulling all the way out and slamming back inside of her with so much force her body would shake. She spaced out when he arched her back more, his hand reaching around to grab her neck from the front. 

“You ain’t going nowhere,” He spoke harshly, “You were doing so good taking my dick, baby...DON'T disappoint me.”

She heard his warning, her arms trembling the more she stayed still for him to use her pussy. 

“Think I’m playing with you? Huh?” Y/N moaned sharply, cumming on Erik’s dick again, “There you go… creaming all over this dick baby…”

“Erik,” She felt him swelling inside of her, “Erik I feel your dick! It’s stretching me!”

“That’s because I’m about to nut, stay just like that.”

“Oh, my-“

Her fat pussy lips gripped him tightly while his thick cum coated her walls again. Erik didn’t pull out, He kept thrusting until he was satisfied. She made little noises, her eyes droopy while his thick pipe covered in his white cum slowly left her pussy. His release had him shouting curse words to the ceiling in that studio. Erik’s hands left her hips, stepping away to allow her body to relax. 

He was glad he waited to have her. It was even better than what he expected. She laid back on the sofa, staring down at her pussy covered with his cum, all swollen and thoroughly beat up. 

“I can’t wait until tonight to see you, Y/N.”

She looked up at him through her lashes with her thighs still wide like she was silently telling him to get up in her some more. Bottom lip pulled tightly between her teeth, Y/N admired Erik’s cum-covered dick. 

“I wanna suck your dick,” Y/N asked but she didn’t wait for a response. Y/N was on her knees crawling to him. His glistening dick rested on her lips before she opened wide with her tongue covered in saliva, her lips drawing him in. Breathing through her nose slowly, Y/N took her time sucking more and more of Erik’s dick. 

“Shit, baby! Okay,” Erik licks his lips, “you tryna’ make me cum again, huh?”

Y/N didn’t respond to him she was all in: locked and ready to take off. The consistency in the way she sucked him even though she couldn’t take all of him...the crease in her brow and the way her head moved in sync with her warm, wet mouth made Erik moan. 

“I NEED THIS...suck daddy like you mean it.”

Y/N tried to go lower but ended up gagging, her lips pulling back so she could breathe comfortably.

“Don't worry if you can’t manage as long as you're kneeling down you will practice until you do...Ooh that’s nasty,” Erik’s mouth fell open when she went down to show his balls some attention, “you better get sloppy on this dick and stop playing.”

“Yes, Daddy,” She knew that would make him growl when she said it. 

“Got them brown sugar lips on my big black dick, mmmmm,” Erik started panting, his hands twisted in her braids, “damn...some beautiful sexy lips Unh I’m cumming baby...I’m cumming… Unh, get this nut baby…”

Erik found himself shooting off on her face because his hips jerked so frantically that his dick slipped out of her mouth. His cum hit her eyelids, trailing down to cover her cheek. Erik watched his cum drizzle down her neck, thinking about buying a ring for her after the monster head she just delivered. With an uneven breath, equally shocked by how much nut his balls produced, Y/N cleaned herself off with her fingers before doing the same to his dick. 

“Daddy didn’t even have to tell you to clean me up, such a good girl,” Erik pulled Y/N up before grabbing her neck, his fingertips applying just the right amount of pressure before pulling her close so he could taste himself off of her tongue, “You’re coming with me, no need in going back home when you were coming to see me later anyway.”

“True,” She blushed before sucking on his bottom lip, “When we get back to your place...more fucking?”

“You’ve been teasing me all these months...it’s time you make up for that shit...yeah, we’re fucking, girl...still gotta get in this ass.”

“I’d try it with you...I’m a little nervous though-

“You’re gonna enjoy it so much, trust me,” Erik gives her a reassuring smile with his dimples, “get dressed, baby girl.” 

Y/N slips away, walking to her vanity to get dressed while watching Erik do the same. Going back to his place this time around knowing that it’s going to involve more sex has beaming and while she rushed to get dressed. As he ties his Jordan’s Y/N thinks about the sex doll. She wouldn’t mind watching him fuck the doll while she sat in his recliner chair and fingered her pussy. She’d wait to ask him about it. 

“You’re ready?”

Y/N looked around at the studio. She could come by tomorrow and clean up a little.

“I’m ready,” She says while running her hand through her braids, walking forward to grab Erik’s hand. He lead the way to the front of the studio, both of them inflamed and fighting the urge to fuck again. 

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[write-orflight]

Songs to Play While Hunting a Killer: Chapter 2

*Gif not mine*

Prev -> Next

Pairings: HotchxReader, Enemies to lovers

Rating: M

Words: 1.8K I know :(

Warnings: None right now, eventually will be smut

Request: OPEN/CLOSED

Summary: Y/N is a Bounty Hunter who always runs. Aaron is the Agent that stays behind, it was no mystery why they didn’t get along. When the two are called to revisit an old case together it’s no wonder old feelings revisit too.

A.N: I know this chapter is short which is why I’ll be updating this again Thursday. It just felt like a good stopping point.

  Chapter 2: Hold the Line by Toto 

You and Hotch drove in silence again, Toto now playing softly in the stereo as you made your way to George Foyet’s. Your left leg propped up so your left arm could rest on it, your fingers drummed lightly on the steering wheel while you drove. You didn’t notice but Aaron was watching you. God, he hated how you were always like this, carefree and blatant disregard for the order of things. It reminded him of when he first saw you. 

Hotch watched the woman sat a ways in front of him, leg propped up and sunglasses on in class. She was obviously hungover and not paying attention, taking the time to balance a pencil on her nose. Hotch rolled his eyes as he saw you check your pager and phone, he couldn’t stand people who joined the academy only to not pay attention to lessons.

“Can anyone tell you the difference between a trigger and a stressor?” the instructor called out looking to the class. He levels his gaze on you on your pager. “Ms. L/N? Since you want to check your phone, perhaps you want to call your dad and ask him for the answer?” He laughs, snottily. 

Hotch watches you peel your sunglasses down to look at him. “Not necessary.” You turn to look at your peers. “A trigger is something that makes one think directly to abuse/trauma, they often lead to flashbacks or intrusive memories. While a stressor is an event or situation that creates a sense of threat or stress and causes someone to lash out or change behavior and sometimes even have a psychotic break.” You say with a bored expression. “Would you like an example of a stressor?” 

“Oh, do you have one?” The instructor asks. 

“Yea. An impending divorce is actually a great example of a stressor.” You say looking him in the eye. The instructor looks a bit shaken. “You’re wearing the same suit from yesterday but it’s pressed, which tells me you spent an unexpected night in a hotel and whenever your wife is mad at you, you take it out on your female students. Especially when she pages you during a lesson which is why you took your anger out on me, a woman checking her pager. I do suggest calling her back though, before she actually is an ex wife.” with that you pushed your sunglasses back up, returning to your pager to your pocket. 

That was the moment Hotch decided he didn’t like you very much. You were smart and skilled, sure, but you were also arrogant to a fault. 

Your phone ringing took Hotch out of the memory. He watched you pull it out of your jacket pocket, smiling at the name before answering. 

“Hey, Seanie.” You croon into the phone. “Yea, I was in Mass last week. Now I’m back, your brother asked me to work a case with him.” Aaron instantly sits up at the mention of his brother. “Yea, I know I said I was going to visit after my bounty, work never sleeps you know that.” You’re smiling at the phone for a second, listening to Sean talk. “Well I can make my way up to New York once we’re finished here if you’re buying drinks.” Hotch watches laugh again. “Alright talk later, kisses.” You say hanging up. You loved when you got the chance to talk to Sean, of the two he was definitely the more fun Hotchner. You looked over to see Aaron leveling you with a stern look. 

“What?” You say. 

“Are you going to be able to focus on this case?” He says. 

“Relax Hottie. I only answered the call because we hardly get to talk. I work too much.” You shrug. 

“And what exactly is your relationship with my brother?” Aaron asked, a little too sternly but he knew your reputation.  

“Your tone suggests you already have an idea of what our relationship is.” You roll your eyes. 

Aaron brings a hand up to his forehead. “Please tell me you’re not fucking my brother, Y/N.” 

You look at Aaron incredulously. “Jesus christ, no. Why would you say that?”

“I know how you were in academy--” 

“You mean when I was in my 20s? Some of us were actually having fun. Not everyone was trying to salvage an already failing relationship with an engagement ring!” You say, you knew it was a low blow but Aaron was basically trying to call you a whore. “And FYI, No, I’m not sleeping with your brother, and even if I was, it'd be none of your business since we’re both consenting adults. But no, He and Katie, the girl he’s been dating for the better part of a year now are just really good friends of mine. And you’d know all this if you ever called.”  You angrily threw the car in park. “We’re here.” You say, instantly jumping out the car, leaving Hotch behind. 

--------------------------------------------  

After leaving Foyet’s (Who thankfully provided you with his other known addresses and aliases) you and Hotch headed back to the FBI Boston office with the rest of the team working on the bare bones profile Hotch already made. There were still a couple things that gave you disconnect. Like why the 911 call was only made for one victim, and the change of M.O when the victims were young women. You didn’t say anything about your thoughts, you always were a speak when you can prove it kind of girl. You ignored Hotch the rest of the day after his comments in the car. You knew you and Hotch weren’t cut from the same cloth but at least you respected him. It was clear he did not do the same for you. 

After working for a while, Hotch sends you and the rest of the team back to the hotel. You sat in your bed still working before you realized Hotch would probably still be up too. You put on your slippers before walking the short hallway to his room. You knocked twice before Aaron answered the door. If there’s one thing you missed about academy days it was the way Aaron looked in regular clothes, not the Armani suits. You looked at the way his broad chest fit tightly against the white t-shirt he was wearing. He was still pretty fit, you focused a bit too long on his biceps before you noticed the eyebrow raised at you expectedly. 

“I was working on the case, figured you’d still be up doing the same.” You say, holding the file in your hand up. “Two heads might be better than one.” 

Aaron thinks for a moment, before sighing and moving aside to let you in the room. As much as he didn’t like you he couldn’t argue with your logic. 

The two of you look over the cases silently before Hotch speaks up. “What do you think?” He asks. 

“The change of M.O has been bothering me.” You say. 

“Change?” 

“Yea, he usually stabs female victims multiple times. But this one he shot in the head once, just like the males.” 

“Could’ve been a time thing.” Hotch says. “He was impersonating a cop, can’t do that for very long.” 

“Or… It’s an age thing.” You say. “All the girls he stabbed were young. I think he’s a Hebephile.” 

Hotch nods. “That’s…. actually a good observation.” 

You roll your eyes. “Thanks, I’m full of them.” 

Hotch opens his mouth to say something but the phone rings. You both look at each other in confusion. Who could be calling this late? He gets up to answer it. 

“Hotchner.” You watched Hotch's demeanor completely change. “Who is this?” You sit up at that, watching Hotch have a very angry and incredibly vague conversation. Not before long, Hotch is hanging up angrily. 

“What’s up?” You ask. 

“The Reaper just offered me the same deal as Shaunessy.” 

“And you didn’t take it?” 

“Of course not.” He scoffs. 

“So what does this mean?” You say, looking him in the eye. He looks back at you, solemnly. 

“I don’t know.” 

——————————————————

Later that night when you’re finally back sleeping in your hotel bed, you hear a loud rapping at your door. You answer it sleepily to see David Rossi standing at the other side. 

“What’s wrong?”

“There’s been another killing. Get dressed.” He says, turning to leave your doorway. You yell down the hallway at him. 

“Why are you getting me and not any of your actual team?” 

“Hotch told me to specifically get you.” He shrugs. 

Hotch asked for you? 

Weird. 

The scene is gruesome. You’re used to seeing dead bodies in crime scene photos because of Academy but never in person and certainly not this many people. 

The Reaper had killed a bus full of people. 6 people plus the driver made 7. 

To make matters worse, he scrawled a sequence of numbers on the windows in the blood of the victims and you still couldn’t figure out what they meant. You and Rossi were discussing theories when you saw Aaron turn angrily down an alley. You and Rossi watch him go for a second before you signal with your hand you’re going after him. Rossi nods, opting to talk to the lead detective. 

You jog down the alley to see Hotch, running a hand through his hair frustratedly. 

“Hottie, what’s wrong?” 

“This is my fault. I hung up on him and then he turns around and does this. It’s my fault—“ 

He has tears in his eyes. You haven’t seen Hotch cry since that night-

Don’t even start to think about that, Y/N. You think to yourself. 

“Hottie...” You say, he’s still looking down. “Aaron, look at me.” He looks up at that. That’s not surprising. You never call him Aaron, at least not since academy. It was always Hottie or Hotchner. “This isn’t you, okay? You didn’t decide to kill these people. A serial killer did. Because that’s what they fucking do! They keep killing people and that’s why there’s people like you to catch them.” Hotch is looking you so intensely in the eye that you can’t help the flutter you get in your stomach. You guys need to solve this case fast, before these old feelings try to come up from the woodwork.

“So do you want to catch a killer or not?” You ask, Hotch nods. You punch him lightly in the shoulder. 

“Thanks, Y/N.” He says, sincerely. 

You shrug. “I’m charging you for the next one. Only the first pep talk is free.” You smile. 

You can’t help the swoon of your heart at the small smirk Aaron gives you.

Taglist: @evyiione​ @weepingmoneywagontoad @yeah-just-ignore-me-thanks​ @dj-lowkey @zizzlekwum​ @blrthelines​ @diesinspanishbcimhispanic​ @liaabsurd​ @genevievedarcygrangerreading​ @softbibxtch​ @monachopism​ @afuckingshituniverse​ @ssahoodrathotchner​

[goldeneyedgirl]

TwiFicMas20 Day 3: Married in Vegas

I hope December is treating everyone well <3 Today’s offering is ‘Married in Vegas’. G requested it to be included in FicMas months ago, and it’s here. In pieces, because I may have over-estimated how ‘ready’ it was to be seen. 

It also degenerated into something terribly depressing, when I was definitely going for something happier, rom-com meets coming of age, so large chunks definitely need to be rewritten.  

Oh, and if you want more of a specific fic, you NEED to tell me, or it will simply languish on my harddrive, forgotten forever.  

Onwards!

--

I meet him on a Thursday night, in the shitty little bar where I work. We talk, he drinks, and then he leaves.

By Saturday night, I am Mrs Alice Whitlock-Hale, with a ring bought from some cheap jewellery vendor and a plastic flower crown in my hair.

It was the best night of my life.

--

Okay, so I could start at the beginning. But the true beginning is a four-year-old girl being left behind when her mom runs away with her baby sister, and the middle is when, at fourteen, that girl is thrown out of her father’s house. She tries to go home once, at sixteen, only to find out that her dad and step-monster moved away. Left the state and left her behind without so much as a forwarding address.

But that story is depressing as hell, so we’ll start when things get interesting.

My ‘husband’ – Jasper Whitlock-Hale - was a strapping 6-foot-something soldier fresh from his last tour – honourably discharged, he was quick to inform me when we first met, and I could tell that was a point of some pride for him.  

I worked at a bar called ‘Sassy’s’. It had been opened in the 70s and I was pretty sure it hadn’t been cleaned or redecorated since those halcyon days. The current owner was Bruno – his son, Emil, was the manager. They were both decent, in that they paid me on time and never groped me. It’s pretty sad when those factors qualify as ‘decent’, but you tend not to be too picky when you’re applying for work at places like ‘Sassy’s’.

Especially when you’re an underage runaway.

How were we still in business? Well, we did dollar beers after nine at night (it wasn’t good beer), and we served pretty good nachos, and we had a huge flat-screen television. Oh, and we ignored any kind of gambling that happened in the dark corners.

It started off as a totally normal night – the usual crowd waiting for their cheap beers, wiping down sticky tables, and killing time. If I was lucky, there wouldn’t be any decent sports playing tonight, and no one would bitch much if I switched the channel over.

He walked through the door just after nine, limping quite obviously. He was wearing a button-down shirt, jeans and a worn leather jacket. He looked kind of haunted – but that isn’t exactly unusual in Vegas; if you don’t arrive with regrets, you’re probably going to leave with them.

He also looked too young, too clean and way too promising to be a patron at Sassy’s. I was slinging beer at that point, as he approached.  

“Beer, please,” he said as he sat at the bar.

“Dollar, thanks,” I said with a smile, grabbing a chipped – but clean – glass, and grabbed a dish of peanuts. They were pretty good – more than often, they were my dinner.

“Thanks,” he nodded once, staring at the amber liquid for a moment. He looked exhausted.

I kept working – stacking fresh glasses, packing the dirty ones into the ancient dishwasher behind the bar that Bruno had installed last summer, so proudly. Pretty sure it was older than me, but it meant that I didn’t have to deal with the washing-up anymore, so I smiled and thanked him, as if I didn’t spend at least half a shift trying to get the damned thing to work.

“Mija!” Luis ducked his head out of the kitchen, passing me a plate.

“Thanks,” I said. “Need a drink?”

“Nah, just fine girly.”

Luis had it easy. He was in college, so this was a part-time gig for him – he only came in two nights a week. He earned twice what I earned, but we didn’t get as many orders for food, so he got to sit in the tiny-ass kitchen (seriously, two people couldn’t fit back there) and study. He’d make me dinner every shift we worked together, which was nice of him. Tonight was grilled cheese.

On quiet nights, I liked to prop the kitchen door open, and sit on the bar and listen to him talk about his classes while I ate. He was always hinting about me going to college, about financial assistance and scholarships, but it just wasn’t going to happen for me.

I had a mouthful of food when the group in the corner started yelling for more drinks. These guys knew Bruno and Emil, so I had to tolerate their smart-ass mouths. They liked to tease the ‘princess’ who worked there. I got that from a lot of regulars, but these guys liked to imply that I was a whore, and tell me they’d wait for me after work to ‘test me out’.

Luis said it was because they were testing me, and they were pissed that Bruno never fired the white girl. Camila, one of the ex-waitresses, was the daughter of one of them and that was why they never tipped me. A form of protest. I never breathed a word about it, and treated them just as well as any other customer.

“Beers, gentlemen,” I said, sliding the tray onto the table. “Can I get you anything else?”

“I’ll say,” one of them leered and another slapped me on the ass. I rolled my eyes and turned to go back to the bar.

“Rough night?” the guy at the bar said as I returned.

“What? Oh, them,” I shrugged, picking up my sandwich. “They’re here every night.”

“They act like that all the time?” he asked.

“Yeah, but they’re just blowing off steam. Don’t like that I kept my job and one of their daughters didn’t,” I said. “Can I get you another?”

“Please.” He watched me move carefully. “What’s your name?”

“Mary,” I said, placing another beer in front of him, and grabbing a soda for myself.

“Jasper, ma’am,” he said.

“Nice to meet you, Jasper. You from around here?”

--

By closing time, Jasper had nursed four beers and half my sandwich – which he inhaled like he hadn’t eaten in a while. We’d chatted. He’d just returned from his third tour in the Middle East – he didn’t say much about that, though I heard some pride in his voice when he mentioned it.

We talked about Vegas a bit, about the things he missed when he was overseas (his aunt’s chocolate cake, the cool forests of Washington state, and books). He was just passing through Vegas, here for a few days. Trying to adjust back to civilian life.

He stayed as I cleaned up, loading the dishwasher and scrubbing down the benches and tables. He watched as David and Sammy came up to pay, smirking as I leant over the bar to reach the money, giving them an unwilling flash of my pitiful cleavage.

All twenty-six dollars of it, in crumpled bills.

“Thanks,” I smiled brightly, handing them a receipt and a package of matches with the logo on it. They grunted at me and left. Their table was a mess of napkins, peanuts and glasses.

“Hope they tipped you well,” Jasper said as he watched me load the tray.

“Oh, they don’t tip. They hate me,” I said, as I piled the garbage onto a tray.

“How long were they here?”

“Since five. It’s fine, really,” I said. “It’s tradition.”

“No, it’s being an asshole,” Jasper muttered.

Luis chose that moment to leave the kitchen, bag on his shoulder.

“It’s closing time,” he sung at me, just like every night. “You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here!”

I snorted. “Well, Jasper, it’s been nice talking to you, but I have to lock up,” I said with a little regret. He was a nice guy, and nice guys didn’t spend a lot of time at Sassy’s.

“Do you need a lift home?” he offered and then froze. “Sorry, that sounded really… seedy. I was going to offer to split a cab.”

“Thank you, but Luis gives me a lift,” I said.

“Okay. Do … you work any other nights this week?” he asked, almost shyly.

Luis was doing his best to be invisible, grabbing the trash and dragging it out the back.

“Tomorrow morning, from eleven til seven, I said. “Beer is full-priced, I’m sorry to say.”

“Okay. Thanks. It was nice talking to you,” he said again, fumbling with his words.

“You too. And if I don’t see you again, have a good time in Vegas,” I said, and, leaving money tucked under his glass, Jasper finally rose and limped out.

I sighed; dumping the glass in the sink and counting out the four dollars for the till, I jammed the tip into my bra. There wasn’t much else to do – I was opening tomorrow; we opened from 11am til 1am, so it would be me who unpacked the soda in the backroom, and the glasses and ran a mop over the perpetually sticky floor. So I could go into the kitchen and change out of my uniform and go and find Luis.

Once the hot pink wig was peeled off, my black hair stuck clammily to my face. My make-up had mostly melted off and it was a relief to tug on my leggings and hoodie and grab my bag.

Luis was waiting for me in the car as I locked up.

“So, you and soldier boy,” he began as soon as I got in.

“Ugh, really?” I pulled my tip out of my bra. “He was alone, and flirting with the waitress. Won’t see him again.” It had been a quiet night – fourteen dollars, plus whatever Jasper had left me. I mean, on average, I made maybe twenty-five dollars in tips a night.

And I stared. Two twenty dollar bills were staring at me, along with six dollars. A forty six dollar tip for four dollar beers. And half a cold grilled cheese sandwich.

“No, he didn’t like you at all,” Luis drawled.

“Shut up,” I grumbled, but inside I was giddy. He was dashing, and smart and polite. And now I could make my rent.

“Here were are. Sleep well,” Luis pulled up in front of the apartment block.

“Thanks for the ride,” I said, spinning my keys around my finger, and headed home.

The apartment block was a grim brick building of roughly eighty apartments. I lived in number 48. Well, I rented a room in number 48. The apartment was really Victoria’s. Victoria had two kids and never actually told me what she did for a living. Nothing would surprise me. She was a bitch, didn’t give a shit about her kids, but rented out the third closet-sized bedroom complete with air mattress and a locked closet full of canned soup to me for the princely sum of eighty bucks a week.

//

What did I know about my new husband?

He walked with a limp – I was guessing an injury that got him discharged from the military.

He had a twin sister – one he spoke of with equal parts affection and irritation.  

He liked history – American military history, specifically.

He was raised in Texas, until his mother died when he was 10. He and his sister were packed off to live with his mom’s best friend and her husband in the wilds of Washington state, where he stayed until he finished high school. He never mentioned his father.

And he was a consummate gentleman.

I, on the other hand, lied my head off.

Well, I only told the usual lies – I was 21, earning money for college, hoping to be a nurse one day. Oh, and when he asked about my family, I told him they were dead. It was better to keep it simple, it meant there were no questions.

We got married on the Strip, Saturday night.

And when he woke up Sunday morning looking hilariously horrified at the fact we got married, I might have exaggerated how drunk I was.

That makes me sound like the worst kind of person, and I don’t think I am, really.

I mean, he was dressed very nicely, he had a black AmEx, and was clearly educated. But I didn’t want to take advantage of him, truly. I wasn’t looking for money or anything. He was so nice, so handsome and he made me feel safe. And before she left me, my mom always told me that life was meant to be full of adventures, and I had to get out there and grab them with both hands. She didn’t leave me with many good memories, so I kind of held onto that advice.

Just once, for a moment, I wanted to pretend to be the type of girl who could marry someone like Jasper Whitlock. The kind of girl who got to stay in beautiful hotel suites.

He kept apologising to me, seemingly more shocked that I had slept on the hotel couch than the idea we had gotten drunk, married and might have had sex. He looked completely panicked, pacing and muttering and staring at me like a stranger.

I took advantage of the giant bathtub and the endless selection of bath gels and lotions whilst he tried to be subtle about the panicked phone calls he was making, his knuckles white as he gripped the damning piece of paper that declared us husband and wife in the state of Nevada.

I emerged smelling of cherry blossoms and lavender. I mean, I only had the previous night’s clothes – my black mini-skirt, leggings, a Sassy’s tank top and my poor flats – but at least I was clean and tidy.

“I need to shower,” Jasper managed as I came out. “There’s coffee and juice if you want something.”

“Thanks,” I smiled.

As I went to grab a drink, his phone buzzed and I looked down to see the messages flash across the screen, one after the other.

ROSALIE (CELL) 9:17:04am: Cut the tramp loose. C spoke to E & u can annul when u get home. JFC.

CARLISLE (WORK) 9:17:11am: I’ve spoken to Eleazer, and he’s willing to work this out.

EDWARD (CELL) 9:17:24am: Tell me this is a joke or something. Rosalie keeps shrieking every time she calls.

ESME (CELL) 9:17:31am: Rosalie told us. Bring her home with you and we can fix it. Love you XOXO

BELLA (iMessage) 9:17:49am: R u ok? Saw on R’s FB what happened.

EMMETT (CELL) 9:18:00am: Did u srsly marry a stripper in Vegas?!?

EMMETT (CELL) 9:18:09am: Rose is losing her shit. Nice knowing u.

EMMETT (CELL) 9:18:34am: At least send pix of what she looks like dude.

I turned away from the phone, though it was fascinating watching the messages pop up. My cellphone was a beat-up second-hand Sidekick Tiffy had given me for my seventeenth birthday, the back bedazzled in pink and purple, and the only text messages I got were from Luis, Emil and Bruno, about work.

Or Victoria, bitching about the rent.

I grabbed my drink and sat on the couch, flipping on the television whilst I waited for Jasper to finish in the shower. He emerged, looking calmer, though pale and hung over, snatching up his phone, with a towel slung around his hips. I tried not to stare – goddamnit, this guy should not be marrying strange bartenders in Vegas. He would have absolutely no trouble getting a date. I knew I was bright red, refocusing on whatever cartoons were playing on the screen.

Jasper took me to breakfast at the hotel restaurant afterwards - I felt super underdressed with my sweater over my top, as I was served the fanciest eggs I had ever seen. Jasper crumbled a bagel up and drank about a gallon of coffee, barely meeting my eyes. I figured I might as well take advantage of my wedding breakfast, and also helped myself to fruit salad that included fruits I wasn’t aware were even available in America, and a doughnut that looked hand-painted with icing.

“I have some appointments today,” Jasper said, finally, when he finally pushed his plate aside. “We could meet for dinner later.”

I popped the last bite of doughnut into my mouth and wondered if he was planning on leaving town, leaving me behind.

Wouldn’t be the first time.

--

I had the day off, surprisingly enough. Normally on my days off, I had plans – sometimes I worked for a catering firm I was registered with, for some extra cash. Sometimes I’d hit the thrift stores to try and pad out my meagre wardrobe, or go and sketch or read in the park. I hated hanging around the apartment, since Victoria, James and Laurent kept unpredictable hours and could be there all day.

But today, I had nowhere to be. My phone needed charging and I could do with a few extra hours of sleep – a headache was definitely lingering. Plus, if breakfast was any indication, I needed to dress up for dinner. I was pretty sure that breakfast had cost more than my entire wardrobe. But I had one dress that was passable.

Luckily, the apartment was empty when I slipped in and collapsed into my bed, noticing only for a second that the hotel couch was far and away more comfortable than the ancient air mattress Victoria provided.

I was woken at five pm by a text message from Jasper.

360-555-0134 5:03:44pm: My meetings are done. Just heading back to the hotel for a shower. Our reservation is for 7:30pm. Pick you up at 7?

I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face – I hadn’t been sure I’d ever hear from Jasper again. But he was taking me out to a fancy dinner. Hell, I would have been over the moon if we went to a movie and ate hot dogs in a park. Flipping open the keyboard, I tapped out a response.

775-555-0182 5:04:59pm: Sounds good – am sending my address. Hope your day was good.

I had two hours to get ready for the fanciest meal of my life.

I could so do this.

—

Considering my resources, I didn’t think I looked too bad. I’d left my hair loose, since I didn’t own a curling wand or straightener, and managed to paint my nails with the half-empty bottle of nude pink I’d found amongst my stuff.

My dress was a black polyester number I had fished out of a basket at the thrift store and had cost me eight dollars. It was a baby-doll style and I thought it made me look older. My shoes were black wedges that were nowhere near fancy enough, but I didn’t own any proper heels.

I had run to the drug store around the corner for a lipstick, a deep crimson that made me feel much older and more glamorous. The effect was somewhat spoilt by the fact I didn’t own a decent coat, just a purple cardigan and a hoodie. And the only purse I owned was a silver crossbody-bag that looked like I had only paid two dollars for it.

At seven on the dot, I emerged from my room to find Victoria, the kids, James and Laurent eating pizza.

“Look at you, baby,” James was practically drooling as I walked through, jamming my wallet and phone into the tiny bag. “Told you she was gorgeous.”

Laurent made a non-committal sound but his gaze never left my legs, ew.

“Where are you going?” Victoria demanded, glaring at me. She definitely preferred me as skinny, bedraggled Mary instead of girly Alice.

“I have a date,” I said.

“A date? Finally working for the money, Mary?” Victoria said. “Thought you were too good for that.”

I made a face at her. “A date. With a guy. Where he takes me to dinner and we talk.”

“You didn’t come home last night,” Victoria said carelessly, and I caught a dark look pass over James’ face. “Excuse me for assuming that you’d come to your senses.”

I swallowed my vulgar response and grabbed my keys. “Don’t wait up.”  

//

My stuff was packed up – in the end, I had only a small duffle bag and my messenger bag of stuff for nineteen years of life.

Jasper was planning on driving back to Forks over two or three days. He had considered – and offered – to pay for us to fly back, but I’d never been in an airplane before, and figured a road-trip would give me time to prepare to meet Jasper’s family.

//

I wasn’t expecting it. Not for James to half-punch, half-slap me, and shake me by the throat. I couldn’t breathe, my lungs burning, slightly disoriented from the blows.

James half-threw me against the fridge, the handle digging into my back. I dropped my bags as he grabbed me by the scruff of the shirt and pulled me back towards him.

“You think you can leave?” he spat at me. “Stupid bitch, think you’re better than this?”

I tried to pull away, but I was too small.

“You’re just like Vic. Just like ‘em all. You’ll come crawling back when that prick gets bored,” he purred at me, one hand sliding down my stomach and I suddenly was terrified. “I’m not picky, I’ll take you back – when you beg.”

“James.”

We both jerked around to see Laurent standing in the doorway, with one of Victoria’s daughters in tow.

James pasted a bright smile on his face. “Just sayin’ good bye to Mary here. Takin’ her chances in sunny California.”

Laurent looked from me to him and shrugged. “Coming?”

James looked back at me and sneered. “Yeah. The trash can take herself out.”

Within seconds, they were gone, and I was alone. I span on my heel and headed to the bathroom.

I stared at myself in the mirror. My throat was red, where he’d shaken me, and my eye and cheek were already swelling – and my lip was split. My back and shoulder ached, plus my right ankle was tender.

Thankfully, the collar of my cardigan would cover up my throat, and my sunglasses would cover up my eye. Hopefully, my lip would stop bleeding by then. Nothing that indicated James had hurt me. But I didn’t want to hang around, in case he came back.

Snagging my bags off the floor, I dropped my keys on the kitchen table and fled apartment 48 for the final time.

--

Jasper was waiting in the bar with a coffee and the paper when I showed up. I’d tried so hard to dress nicely – a blue shirtdress and lavender leggings – but the women in the hotel foyer made me look like a middle school student.

“Hi,” I smiled as I reached the table.

“Good morning,” Jasper said, jumping up to take my bags. “Can I get you anything?”

“An oj?” I asked, looking around at the fancy surroundings. I wasn’t sure anything as pedestrian as an orange had ever crossed the threshold of this place.

“Certainly.” A hotel employee suddenly appeared at Jasper’s elbow. “Could you put these bags with mine? And the lady would like an orange juice, and perhaps the brunch menu?”

“Of course, Mr Whitlock,” the employee said.

I wriggled around in my seat, gazing around the bar. One woman was wearing the most incredible red and gold heels, and another had an embroidered floral dress that was to die for.

“The hotel had some computer difficulties this morning – we should be able to leave soon,” Jasper said to me, drawing my attention back to him. “I’d like to make it to Boise tonight.”

“Sounds good,” I said, as a waiter swept to my side, placing the fanciest glass of juice in front of me, and a tasselled menu. “Thank you.”

“I’ve already eaten,” Jasper said, looking guilty. “Early start. But please, get whatever you want.”

“O-kay,” I said. I wasn’t very hungry, and my throat hurt after James’ assault, but I needed to eat – I wasn’t sure if we’d stop for lunch. Rule number one was never, ever turn down free food.

A hotel employee appeared at Jasper’s elbow the second my breakfast plate was cleared, to let us know that the ‘issues’ had been fixed, and our luggage was in the car.

It was happening. We were going.

Mary-Alice Brandon: now leaving Las Vegas.

//

The motel was neat and pretty clean, with two double beds and a TV. We’d grabbed burgers through drive-thru, and were ready to settle in for the night.

I had some ancient pj bottoms and a tank top to sleep in, and didn’t think of anything else as I left the bathroom, my hair hanging loose.

“What the hell happened to you?” Jasper was at my side in a second, his eyes wide.

“What?” I gave him a confused look, and belatedly realised that my make-up was washed off and in my tank top my throat was bared, the bruises that James had given me so much darker and angrier than before.

“Oh, um, my landlord’s boyfriend had a problem with me leaving,” I said uncomfortably.

“Jesus,” he murmured. “We can find a doctor in the morning.”

I waved it off. “I’ve got painkillers in my purse. Just have to wait til I heal.”

//

Jasper was determined to buy me clothing as soon as we finished breakfast, and I gave up and let him drive me to the Gap outlet. It was a novelty to be able to purchase whatever I need, something I wasn’t used to, as I carefully chose jeans and dresses. I also picked up a winter parka on sale, when Jasper warned me how wet and cold Forks was.

But when Jasper went to pay, he gave me a Look. “My sister spends more on a single pair of shoes,” he grumbled at me as I gathered my bags.

“I’ve got everything I need, I swear,” I said. “Probably too much, honestly.”

//

On the way from Seattle, I tried to memorise everything about Jasper’s family and friends, so not to fuck this up worse than it already was.

There were his ‘aunt’ and ‘uncle’, Esme and Carlisle. They had one biological son, Edward, who was 22 and married to Isabella, with a toddler named something strange. Ness, Jasper called her.

Jasper’s twin sister, Rosalie, was engaged to a man named Emmett, who was also one of Jasper’s best friends. They were building a house in Forks, and were getting married at the end of the year.

Jasper’s best friends were Emmett and a man named Peter, Jasper’s roommate in college, who now worked at a law firm in Seattle and had a girlfriend named Charlotte whom Jasper called ‘an angel’, and designed wedding dresses.

I felt like I needed flashcards.

[ravenbrenna09]

Jij Verliest - Chapter Five: Clip 2

master list previous

...

Zondag 18:53

With hurried goodbyes to the people spamming ‘bye!’ in the chat, Robbe ended his surprise Sunday afternoon stream and immediately slumped against his desk.

During the semester, Robbe didn’t stream on Sundays. He preferred to spend the time studying with Yasmina or simply doing homework. His plan was to keep the same schedule for the summer, simply to keep things consistent, and save his Sundays for skating with his friends or hanging out with Sander. But the beach house trip was going to prevent him from streaming for three days. Once he got back, Robbe knew that he would need to get back on a consistent schedule.

Today’s stream was unplanned and a surprise, but it had been one of the best streams that he had in weeks. 

Normally, Robbe would’ve only streamed for three hours. It was what his body was used to and Robbe was rigorous about keeping his streams uniform. Occasionally, he would extend the stream or shorten it in thirty minute intervals. But, normally, he couldn’t extend the stream by more than an hour. Until today. He had just ended the stream a few minutes shy of five hours.

As soon as he started the stream, Robbe had felt rejuvenated. His good mood was helped by Sander’s “good luck <3” text when Robbe informed him that he would be disappearing for a few hours. But, in the midst of studying for exams and his stressed-out streams, he had missed doing this. He had missed streaming simply because he could and hanging out with his viewers, who he saw as his friends. It was fun and exhilarating and he had missed it all. 

Plus, the fact that Sander was probably watching him sent a thrill up his spine. It made him more excited than he would ever admit to any of his friends. But the extended time in his chair had stiffened his legs and his joints. Even though Robbe had taken multiple five-minute breaks, he was still tense. 

As Robbe stood, stretching his body as far as he could, his phone buzzed on the desk and drew his attention.

Sander: Amazing stream, Mr. Streamer. Even if I don’t know a thing about Fortnite. Feeling stiff? 

Robbe chuckled, picking up his phone as he moved out of his room.

Robbe: Yeah, I’m walking around the apartment. Might not sit down for another 30 min. Did you get any drawings done?

It didn’t take long to respond. 

Sander: Of course, I’m still working on your concentrated face though. Wanna see?

As Robbe sent him the affirmative, he headed out of his bedroom. Across the hall, Zoë’s bedroom door was slightly open and he glanced inside to find her sleeping. Zoë was curled up on her bed, wrapped in her gray blanket, with her hair tied back. Her laptop was perched on the edge of the bed, playing a show. 

As Robbe closed his bedroom door behind him, his stomach gave an angry growl, reminding him he had waited too long. Robbe quickly moved in the direction of the kitchen, where he could hear voices. Rounding the corner, he spotted Milan at the kitchen table with Senne. Both of them were drinking what looked like a cup of hot cocoa. As Robbe stepped inside, Milan cut Senne off mid-sentence to ask, “How was your stream?”

Robbe blinked, confused. “It was fine.” Senne turned to him, smiling nervously, as Robbe headed to the fridge to pull out the leftovers from earlier. “I’m just getting some food. It should only take a few minutes. Then, the two of you can go back to your top-secret talk that I’m not supposed to hear.”

“Oooooo,” Milan said, grinning wickedly. “Is someone jealous that other people go to me with top-secret information?” 

Robbe rolled his eyes and flipped Milan off for good measure. 

“No, no, it’s not that,” Senne said, letting out a sigh. Robbe grabbed one of the plates from the cabinets as he looked over at Senne. Despite being so sure of himself, Senne looked unbelievably nervous—like he was about to jump out of his skin. In all honesty, Robbe wasn’t prepared to see it. “We were just talking about the fact that I’m going to meet your mama on Thursday.” Robbe nodded as he piled the cold spaghetti onto his plate. “Do you have any advice?”

Robbe nodded again, placing the plate into the microwave. Once he started it, Robbe turned back to Senne and Milan, who were waiting on him. “There’s absolutely nothing you need to worry about, Senne,” Robbe said. “Mama is physically incapable of hating anyone. Even my dad and Thomas. As long as you love and take care of Zoë—which you do—she’s going to love you.” 

“There’s always a first,” Senne said. 

“If there was a first time, it would’ve been Thomas,” Robbe deadpanned. 

“Agreed,” Milan said. He reached across the table to take Senne’s hand in his own. “She’s going to love you, Senne. How can she not?” The microwave let out a beep. Robbe moved to pull his steaming pasta out. He blew away the steam as he crossed the kitchen, taking up one of the spare chairs. Robbe extended his legs out beneath the table, stretching them until they popped. “You love her daughter and that’s all any mother would want. Especially Marie.”

Robbe nodded. “Nothing to worry about.” 

“Okay,” Senne said, turning to him. “I’m trusting you.” Robbe chuckled, taking a bite of his pasta. “How did your exams go?” Senne asked. Robbe glanced over at Senne, who had turned in his chair. “I didn’t see you at the party Friday night.”

“Are you still going to college parties?” Robbe asked. 

“Only when my girlfriend is.”

“Oh, did someone spend the night with his mystery man that we don’t know anything about?” Milan asked, raising his mug to his mouth. Robbe rolled his eyes as Milan suggestively waved his eyebrows. Beside him, Senne took a sip of his hot cocoa. He tried his best to seem indifferent, but Robbe could still spot the suggestive look on Senne’s features. “Come on, Robbe. It’s a safe space. If we talk about it, I’m sure Senne won’t mind.”

Robbe was certain he couldn’t roll his eyes harder. “Sometimes, I wonder why you’re so interested in everyone’s love life,” Robbe said. Senne snorted. Thankfully, he wasn’t holding his cocoa anymore. Senne covered his face with his hand as Milan sent him an accusatory stare. “But yes, I did stay with him. We went to his apartment, he cooked, and we stayed in his bedroom all night, playing video games.” 

“Good,” Milan said, grinning. “You seem happy with him.” 

“I am,” Robbe said, nodding. He took another bite of spaghetti before letting out a sigh. Milan raised an eyebrow and Senne glanced over at him. Despite the growling in his stomach, Robbe dropped his fork on his plate and leaned back. “I just wish Thomas would leave me alone.”

“Thomas?” Milan asked, raising his eyebrows. 

Senne glanced at Robbe, asking, “Your ex?” 

“Yeah, that’s the one,” Robbe said. “After my exam on Friday, as I headed out to meet ‘my mystery man,’ Thomas came up to me.” Robbe shook his head, letting out a sigh. “He gave me the watch back and told me that he wanted to get back together with me.” Milan’s eyes widened. “I was so angry that I couldn’t respond to him, but—uhh… the guy I’m seeing interrupted him and Thomas left soon after that.”

“Do you want to get back together with him? With Thomas?” Senne asked.

Before Senne finished the question, Robbe was shaking his head. “No,” Robbe said. “I don’t.”  

“If you don’t want to get back together with him, you need to tell that to Thomas face-to-face, Robbe,” Senne said. He crossed his arms over his chest as Milan took a sip of his cocoa. “He deserves to hear it from you in person. If he can’t understand, that’s on him.” 

“I know,” Robbe said, slumping back in his chair. “I’m just worried that he’s going to try and talk me into getting back together with him. Again.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” Senne asked, standing up from his chair. “I don’t mind.” He moved to the coffee maker. As the machine whirred to life, he moved around, starting to make another cup of hot cocoa. Once the machine started brewing, Senne added, “I’ve always been pretty good at scaring people away. Plus my parents will pay for pretty good lawyers.”

Robbe chuckled, shaking his head. “No, but I’ll keep that in mind. I’ll probably end up asking Jens or Moyo to come with me. I just don’t want to be worried about my ex showing up at the apartment for the third or fourth time.” As Robbe picked up his fork, his phone dinged in his pocket. 

“You could always go to the police,” Senne said. 

Milan nodded. “He’s right, Robbe.”

“Yeah,” Robbe said, pulling his phone from his pocket. “I just don’t want to have to deal with it. But if it gets too much and he keeps showing up, I promise that I will report him to the police.” Milan nodded and, from his spot at the coffee machine, Senne made an affirmative noise. 

“It’ll be okay, Robbe,” Milan said.  

Robbe nodded his head, turning his attention back to his phone. 

Sander: Sorry for the delay. Noor came into my room asking about dinner. Here are all my sketches.

Below his texts, a picture loaded in of a sheet of paper—or rather many sheets of paper—and Robbe had to stop himself from literally dropping his mouth open. If these were simply “sketches,” Robbe couldn’t help but wonder what Sander’s masterpieces would look like. In the middle of the page, his own profile was etched in with headphones over his ears. There were a handful of figures that looked like they could’ve been Pokémon, but Robbe didn’t recognize them. 

Robbe was so focused on absorbing each and every detail that he didn’t notice Senne walk up behind him. He peered over Robbe’s shoulder, holding tightly to the cup of cocoa with one hand. His presence behind Robbe had startled him, but Senne’s gaze was simply on his phone. As Robbe glanced up at him, Senne smiled down at the phone and gave him a knowing look. 

If Senne recognized Sander’s sketches, he didn’t say anything. In fact, Senne just returned to the table and struck up a conversation with Milan about work.

...

Zondag 20:34

[editorialsonlife]

Well

Welp, feeling like doing an update because there's been a lot going on to be honest. its one of those weird dichotomies where every day feels like an eternity and there's so much going on and then you look back and you're like oh, ok its just my brain making it difficult and making things take forever but anyway.

LOCKDOOOOOOOWWWWWWNNNNNNN

Lockdown life was good, apart from being thrust into it so suddenly dave left a banana on his desk. Wasn't great to come back to after 5 weeks out of the office - mummified mouldy banana!! Classic. We luckily got our first jab before lockdown started so that was good, and we were reasonably well stocked up on food and were generally a lot healthier this lockdown that last. honestly, there's a level of chill and serenity in lockdown that i just love. the ability to set my own schedule and only work the hours I actually work to get the job done? Amazing. getting 8.5 hours of sleep each night without having to wake to an alarm blaring? AMAZING. getting to go for walks every afternoon? SO FLIPPING GOOD. I love it so much, I really really do. I need this to be my life permanently.

WORK

Work is just ongoing and draining and honestly, coming back to the office was so fucking stressful and it was only one day. Being at home is just the fucking bomb. Pending home decisions, I wanna go contracting I think, but also ideally two part time contracts to have more flexibility? I dunno. You'd think a big 4 would provide variety but it really doesn't and honestly, with Richie leaving, wellington is just a sinking ship. Sean's off on parental leave, Kirstyn is down to four days a week, ben will be gone if he doesn't get promoted (and I don't think he will be tbh). Jack is just muddling along, Nigel wants to swap to consulting as well, Matt's going to be a shit leader in terms of bringing in work so it's just not going to work. and in our wider group it's going to get even more messy with heaps of the analysts leaving and a couple of senior hires too. so I think it's probably time to jump ship in general, pending the home stuff below. Also, coming back after a break again, I'm like, I don't actually like a lot of you? All the people I enjoy here are in other teams and groups, and I'll be sad to leave you all, but like, not enough to stay anyway lol.

Pending the home below, two options are to just going and get a job with a $30k payrise to make up for the maternity leave benefits I'm gunna leave behind when I leave this role - 18 weeks full pay, $100 a week for the first year back and a full year of maternity leave. It's basically 30k post tax which is a bit nuts to walk away from to be honest.

Otherwise the other option is to go contracting. Less security overall but holy shit so much money. If I went in as a project coordinator at the lowest rate to build up a bit of a portfolio I'd need to work 40 weeks of 40 hr weeks and Id basically match my current salary plus the lost family leave benefits and still qualify for govt maternity leave payments. Realistically I could go in as a project manager for $140 an hour ($60 more an hour than the above math) and absolutely smash it at that level as well so ya know, there's a bunch of other info. I like the idea of the flexibility of it and only having 6 months even if its a shitshow and beign able to walk away at the end of it. I really don't want to get a govt job and this is a v govt town which is fine but also, if I can avoid it that would be great. I just know I'm not gunna thrive in that environment.

Need to talk to Dave to get him across the line on the security issue part of that though. I've mostly come a long way in terms of my financial management (thanks YNAB) so I think he'd be ok with it mostly.

So there's a lot to toss up there because......

HOME

We got the reno plans done during lockdown, finally. which was super good. but holy fkn jesus $$$$$$ ++++++++++. The guy is coming around for the final quote on Thursday. We indicatively said $100k total because we're doing kitchen laundry bathroom and toilet. so only the most expensive rooms and when I was talking to him last week he said 'that might cover it' and they're seeing cost escalations of 7-10% a week which is just insane. we're not doing anything structural apart from putting in a cavity slider in the bathroom, and the quote they'll give us won't include flooring since they won't do it.

Meanwhile, the prefab homes I were looking at for our site were $425k fully done. Like, I'm not going to spend $130K on doing up my 1940s ex state house ya know? That's not good cost benefit ratio.

So depending on what that comes out at on thursday we'll be able to make some plans.

We also want to start trying for kids next year and need these renos done first - I am not having kids and no dishwasher lol.

Also we need bank financing so good to be in a permanent stable job for that application. the good thing is we have so much equity we know we can borrow whatever we need, I just don't want to spend that much money on it because it's fkn ridiculous. and if I'm going on maternity leave we need to be able to cover it all on dave's salary and whatever benefits I have as well so there;s a lot of financial planning and spreadsheeting going on at the moment lol. it's fab.

either way. we've got plenty of options up our sleeve. we've got friends who's brother owns a building company so we can talk to them, we've got the garage so we can get things prefabricated even if they're not installed til next year, Dave can get shit at cost through his work for whiteware, there;s plenty of things to like cost control we can do, we just need to know where we're starting from basically. thats the challenging part. but we'll figure it out, its just taking longer than I want it to basically.

We also planted up the vege garden for the spring/summer which was lovely, super jazzed about that. we've finally got the garden to a reasonably low maintenance level where everything is mostly under control and it's such a relief, honestly.

PERSONAL

Man what a shift to lockdown last year honestly. I think the last 8 weeks in particular has just been like, a massive reality check of how absolutely shit the last year was and how fucking glad I am to be rid of it. I spent a week absolutely spiralling 2 weeks ago now and honestly, I don't know how I lived in the state for more than a year. I actually don't know how I did it. and I could not be more glad that I'm finally on the other side of it, for the most part. There's still a bunch of other stuff to work through (hahahahahaha when is there not like damn) but fucking hell its nice to just not be anxious and nauseous and wound up constantly. life is actually accessible. miracle.

My workmate had his bebe - I went round and got newborn cuddles and was like, oh, is this what it is to be clucky? this is odd. so there's that as well. I think we'll probably start trying next year pending renos and jobs etc. If the renos can be done in jan I'll prob just stick it at the job to get the benefits but I dunno. it's a tough call to make really. we shall see. This all assumes we get knocked up without any issues which is questionable these days. I really want to feel healthier before getting pregnant as well, and part of that is losing weight. however, given discussing that is what triggered the spiral we're working on that one slowly.

Also, lets have a moment for counselling, because fkn bless anne and all her hard work honestly. I actually ended up emailing her being like, I;m losing my shit on the monday and then talked to her on thursday. And its so funny because it's such a counselling thing but I didn't realise until afterwards what she'd done but she was like you're clearly not doing well and then the night before dave got a fkn miserable migraine and he was up for like, 2 hrs powerchucking except he didn't make it to the bathroom in time so guess who was cleaning up vomit at 130am trying not to chuck herself but I digress. anyway, not doing well, couldn't even explain why, didn't even have words and super tired and she's like, what lynaire up to this week how's she going with izzy and chat about that and then be like how are you feeling about your body and then 5 more mins of chat about the cat and the chickens and then like bam hard question and then hows it going with x and y and z and its like, it wasn't til I was on my walk afterwards when I FINALLY started feeling marginally better I was like damn woman work your magic for figuring it out for me and helping me reregulate. all over the phone as well since we were still in lockdown. GREAT WORK FRIEND.

and then last week was like totally fucked theoretical discussion about religion and the role it's played in my life and fate vs free will and all this nutty shit but genuinely just a great discussion. She's the best and I love her. thank good for good counsellors. thank god I can afford to pay for it honestly.

Dave and I are just chugging along, god bless that man. I love him. its amazing. I miss having friends close by but understand why they had to move (boooooo f u house prices). Family is pretty chill, still not really talking to dave's parents which is nightmarish but we'll deal with that when we need to. gunna have to go and visit them at some point coz dave misses them and I feel for him, I really do. It's the whole boundaries renegotiation I went through with my family last year post wedding blow up and its just not a fun place to be. oh well. can't fix it for him but also I'm not putting up with that level of BS from either of our families once we have children. not gunna happen.

Either way, life is busy and full and fun and I'm enjoying it. Daylight savings starts this weekend too, its october next week WTF and I'm just waiting for 4pm to find out what's gunna happen to our girls trip. Clearly we cancelled our sept trip to christchurch and akaroa and hanmer springs so my covid travel curse continues. fkn ridic. Still dunno what we're gunna do with $2500 of flight credits coz if we get knocked up theres def no international trips happening any time soon.

thus concludes the almost 2000 word write up of life. hope you've enjoyed it. I'll throw up some pics in a separate post if people care about reno plans. such a good time!

[atlafan]

Take it Slow - Part Seventeen

a/n: okay this is my first shot at a harry:y/n fic, and it will be multiple parts. y/n had a bad experience with an ex over a year ago, and finally accepts her coworker and good friend Niall’s invitation to go on a blind date with his friend Harry.

(All I have to say is, please don’t be mad at me.)

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six Part Seven Part Eight Part Nine Part Ten Part Eleven Part Twelve Part Thirteen Part Fourteen Part Fifteen Part Sixteen

Masterpost

Sunday night you realized why you were so tired, you had caught a nasty cold somehow. You shewed Harry away in fear of getting him sick. With your day off Monday, you made a big pot of vegetable soup that would help you through the week. On top of that Monday night you got your period. You wondered why you didn’t just go on the type of birth control that made it so you didn’t get it at all. Being on the pill, it wasn’t even a real period. You insisted to Harry that you didn’t need him to take care of you while you were sick, as sweet as you thought it was.

Tuesday morning you contemplated calling out of work, but you somehow managed to make it in. You wanted to gossip with Niall about the weekend you had. You decided to wear your loosest pair of slacks with a blouse and a blazer to dress it up. You both had busy mornings crammed with meetings. At lunch you both decided to get out for a walk and fresh air.

“So, tell me all about New Hampshire.”

“It was perfect.” You sniffle. He hands you a tissue. “Thanks.”

“Other than catching a cold.” He chuckles.

“Yeah, other than that. The drive up was gorgeous, the foliage was incredible. We had a lazy night the first night. The next morning we got up and explored the property. There were a ton of walking trails.”

“Your pictures looked great. I especially liked the one of the two of you.” He nudged you with his elbow. “Can’t believe you got him to do that.”

“I know, he was a great sport. Then we had the most relaxing massages, followed by a mani/pedi.” Niall starts laughing. “What?”

“Nothing, it’s like he’s your girlfriend.”

“I think it’s incredibly sexy and manly that he takes care of his nails the way he does.”

“Sexy, huh?”

“Oh stop.” You nudge him. “Then we had dinner at the restaurant attached to the inn, it was so fancy. Oh! And our room had this giant tub Jacuzzi, it was amazing.”

“What did you guys do after dinner?” Niall is grinning at you.

“What did you hear?”

“Nothin’, believe it or not I haven’t had time to speak with him about your little weekend. Sarah and I took advantage of the long weekend ourselves.” He winks at you and you roll your eyes. “I’m seein’ him tonight actually.”

“Oh good!” You were happy they were still making time for each other.

“Give me the tea, let’s go.”

“Okay, okay. Well, I bought this like sexy nightgown to surprise him with.” He gasps sarcastically, making you giggle. “Then, um, well…” You blush.

“Oh just tell me, would you?”

“We did what we usually do, you know, he, um, used his mouth.”

“Mhm.”

“I told him I was ready to do a little more.”

“You let him.” Niall makes a hand gesture with his fingers.

“Jesus, Niall.” You look around to make sure no one on the street saw him. “Yes, but not like full on.”

“What do you mean?”

“I only let him use one finger. Well, even if I wanted him to use more, he wouldn’t have been able to it was so embarrassing.” Your face is beat red. “But, just him doing that on top of everything else, it was incredible, he made me feel so good.”

“That’s great, so you didn’t like feel scared or anything?”

“I was a nervous wreck, but he managed to relax me enough so I could enjoy it. And then I, um, returned the favor. For the first time, in a long time, I felt like my old self.” Niall nods along as you talk. “It’s still going to take me some time before I’m ready for more of him, but I think this was a really good step for me, for us.”

“When do you see Dr. Mara next?”

“Um, tonight actually. Is it weird that I’m excited to tell her what happened?”

“Not at all. You should be proud of the progress you’re making. You seem like yourself again, which I’m happy to see. Is Harry goin’ home with you next week?”

“Yup, just doing a day trip, but I’m glad he’s coming with.”

“Me too, I know how anxious you get.”

“I’m worried my dad is going to grill him.”

“He’ll be able to handle it, he’s great with parents.”

“You know how my dad is though.”

“True…it’ll be an interesting day for sure.”

//

Harry brings a case of beer over to Niall’s for their little guy’s night. Niall ordered Thai food for the two of them, and handed him a video game controller. It had been a while since they played FIFA.

“So, (y/n) said you two had a nice weekend.” Niall says giving the game a pause an hour after playing.

“Yeah, it was amazing.” Harry cracks open another beer. “She let me finger her.” He said bluntly, maybe a little buzzed from his third beer.

“You don’t say?” Niall was trying to be coy.

“Mhm, well, only with one finger, but she seemed to enjoy it. And then she gave me the best head I think I’ve ever had.” Niall nearly chokes on his beer. Harry starts laughing. “Sorry mate.”

“It’s fine, what did she do?”

“I don’t know, it was like, okay I was expecting her to basically curl up and be shy right after I did it to her, but it was like, I can’t even describe it. She became this really confident person and took complete control.”

“Sounds about right.”

“How would you know?”

“I’m dating her best friend, I’ve heard a thing or two. Please, continue.”

“She just took it, better than any other time, and when I came, she kept suckin’ on me.”

“Oh, I love when they do that.”

“Right? She had told me she was gonna do it too, she was like I’m gonna suck ya dry, and she fuckin’ did. I couldn’t believe it.”

“She said that to you!? Jesus, Sarah like refuses to talk dirty.”

“I’m surprised by that.”

“She’s great in bed, believe me, but she just won’t do it. I’ve tried to get her to, but I think it makes her nervous or something.”

“What does she like?”

“Well, she certainly likes when I talk to her, that’s for sure.” Niall laughs. “She likes that I take good care of her.” He clinks his bottle with Harry’s. “Thank god for watermelon.”

“Thank god for watermelon.” He takes a swig of his beer. “What can I expect from her family?”

“Her dad’s a bit rough around the edges, and her siblings can be a bit judgy, but once they warm up to ya it’s fine.”

“What do you mean judgy?”

“They like to ask a lot of questions. She’s the youngest by a lot. Her siblings are like a good age difference older than her, so she’s not just their little sister, she’s their baby.”

“But, she’s also my baby.” Niall smiles funny at Harry, and puts his hand on his shoulder.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you speak so fondly of someone before.”

“I think, I think I’m in love with her.”

“What?!”

“Yeah.”

“When did you come to this realization?”

“Over the weekend, when I took this picture of her.” Harry shows Niall his phone’s wall paper.

“Aw, Harry.” He ruffles his hair, and Harry swats his friend’s hand away. “I don’t think you’ve ever said you’re in love before.”

“That’s because I don’t think I’ve ever been in love before.”

“When are you gonna tell her?”

“I have no idea. She just let me do this really big, intense thing with her. I don’t want to make it more intense. Plus, what if she’s not there with me yet?”

“You won’t know unless you talk to her.”

“I think I’ll just love her from afar for now. You know, she caught a cold and wouldn’t even let me take care of her?”

“The nerve.” Niall says sarcastically. “She probably just didn’t want to get ya sick, mate.”

“Enough about me, you’re going to meet Sarah’s family soon?”

“Yup, and I’m staying the whole weekend too. Her family is like three hours from here.”

“Good luck with that. Gonna sleep in her old room?”

“I think we’re getting’ a hotel actually. Thank god, I am too old to be sleepin’ in a little twin bed.”

“At least your feet don’t hang over the edge when you do sleep in one.”

“I’m not that short! You’re just freakishly tall so I look short compared to ya.”

“Whatever you say.”

“Well, we can both agree that we’re not as tiny as Lou.”

“Yeah, he’s a pipsqueak.”

//

You felt great after therapy. Dr. Mara thought you were making excellent progress with yourself. You had a big bowl of soup for dinner, and took some Nyquil to help yourself sleep through the night. You did that pretty much every night that week. Luckily, by Friday you were feeling much better, and your period had ended. Things were looking up.

Niall texted in a group chat to see if you wanted to go bowling that night. Both you and Harry agreed it would be fun. Rachel and the girl she had been seeing were invited as well. You couldn’t wait to see Harry since you hadn’t seen him all week. You decided to leave your hair down in waves. You wore a black pair of skinny jeans, and a light pink crop top. You wore a cardigan over it so you weren’t totally exposed. Sarah and Rachel came over to have a drink with you before heading to the bowling alley to meet your respective dates.

The boys and Rachel’s date (Lora) were waiting by the two lanes they had reserved. Harry looked good enough to eat. He was wearing his dark blue jeans, a black t-shirt, and his beanie. You practically ran into his arms, suddenly realizing just how excited you were to see him. You gave him a deep kiss, deeper than what he was expecting, leaving the others to be surprised at your PDA. You clear your throat when you see everyone staring. You and the girls go up to the counter to get your shoes.

“How should we make teams?” Niall asks.

“Let’s do girls versus…I mean, um, Lora would you pair up with the boys, and the three of us could be a team?” Sarah asks.

“Works for me.” Lora shrugs.

You and your friends were good bowlers. You often went bowling on Thursday nights in school.

“Let’s order some food and drinks before we get started.” You suggest. “Harry, wanna help me?”

“You got it.” You both walk up to the snack bar. He leans down to whisper into your ear. “You look so fucking hot tonight, feeling better?” It sends a shiver up your spine.

“Much.” You order a couple pitchers of beer and some pizza. He gives your bum a quick pinch as you walk back over. “Hey.” You give him a fake annoyed look.

“Sorry, but those jeans really suit you.”

You get into your teams, and start bowling. You, Sarah, and Rachel all get strikes off the bat, leaving the boys and Lora speechless. The bowling had strobe lights come on after a certain hour and started playing club hits. You and your friends dance while you wait your turns. The beer definitely hits your head quickly. Your pizza is brought over, so the six of you take a break. Rachel puts an arm around Lora, and you smile at them.

“So, Lora, what do you do for work?” You ask, taking a big bite of pizza.

“Right now I’m in grad school, I’m a GA. I’m trying to become a Biology teacher.”

“Wow! That’s so cool.”

“Thanks.” She smiles at you. You wanted to be as welcome as possible. She seemed to already know Sarah pretty decently.

After a while, you and your friends were more interested in dancing than bowling. You were at Pinz, so it’s not like you had to drive anywhere to go dancing.

“So, we think we’re gonna over to the dance floor is that’s cool with you guys.” Sarah says to the boys.

“Sure thing, I think we’re gonna bowl a bit more and then we’ll meet ya.” Niall kisses her on the cheek.

Rachel grabs Lora, and the four of you head over to the dance floor on the other side of the building.

“I really don’t want to dance.” Harry says, sucking his teeth.

“You danced with her fine at Halloween.” He throws the ball, knocking six pins down.

“I was hammered that night, big difference.” Harry throws his, knocking eight pins down. “We’re really not very good at this, are we?” He laughs.

“Look, girls like it when you dance up on them. So, we’re gonna put our shoes on, and go dance with our girlfriends, and you’re gonna like it.”

“Is that so?”

“Yep.”

Harry and Niall put their shoes back on, and make their way to the dance floor. The DJ had just put on The Hills by the Weeknd. Harry knew you’d be freaking out, you loved The Weeknd. They spotted your group, Harry stopped to just watch you dance for minute. You had this specific way you liked to move your hips to the beat. He noticed the way you’d flip your hair around and close your eyes while you sang along.

You were starting to sweat, so you took your cardigan off, and tied it around your waist, revealing your full crop top. Harry wasn’t thrilled that just anyone could see your stomach, but he could either stand there and pout, or go over, dance with you, and show anyone around you that you were his. He sighed and walked over to you while Niall was just wrapping his arms around Sarah. Rachel and Lora were lost in each other, not paying attention to anyone else. Harry grips your hips from behind and pulls your butt to his pelvis, you squeak out a giggle.

“Hey baby.” You lean back into him as you move together.

“This would be easier if this wasn’t in the way.” He says into your ear, referring to your cardigan. You turn around to grind against him front to front.

“How’s this?” Before he can even answer your mouth is on his. He pulls you closer to him so your breasts are pressed against him. You swipe your tongue across his bottom lip, and he opens up for you. You mold your tongue to his, sucking on him slightly. You feel the strain in his pants become more evident against your leg. You moan into his mouth, and that was enough for him.

“Okay, we’re leaving, yeah?” He says to you. Your cheeks were rosy, and your eyes hazy.

“Your place.” Is all you say. He looks over at Niall and nods towards you. You wave goodbye to your friends, and walk out holding hands with him.

Luckily he drove, and was sober enough to drive. He didn’t drink that much while you were bowling, and you had drank way more than you thought. You kept a hand on his thigh the entire drive. You really were acting like your old self, and it felt great.

Harry keyed into his place, and you slipped your tennis shoes off. He looked at you and untied the cardigan around your waist, letting it drop to the floor. You wrapped your arms around his neck while he picks you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist, and he walked you over to the bed. He sits down, letting you straddle him. Your lips go right for his neck while your hips roll down on him. His hands slip inside the back of your jeans to squeeze your ass.

“I missed you this week.” He says into your ear. You bite down just under his earlobe, causing a groan to leave his mouth. “Don’t make me wait an entire week to see you again.” You suck harder on him. “Please.” You lift your head to look at him, your lips now swollen.

“Show me.”

“Show you what?”

“Show me how much you missed me, Harry.” Your eyes were hooded, pupils fully blown. You wanted him, bad. A devious smile grows on his face.

“Is that what you want?”

“Yes.”

He lifts you up, and sits you near the headboard. He moves to hover over you, he runs his thumb over your bottom lip.

“I missed these lips, pressed against me.” He says taking your bottom lip between his teeth. A hand slides down to cup your breast. “I missed these pressed against me with the way the cool from your piercings sends a shiver up my spine.” He says into your ear. You can’t help but let out a moan at the way he’s teasing you. His hand moved down to your crotch, pressing his palm against your center. “And I especially missed this, the way you’re always so wet for me.” He nips at your earlobe.

“Harry, please.” You say with a heavy breath.

He moves between your legs and undoes your button and zipper, pulling your pants down. You lift your hips to assist him. He tosses them to the other side of the bed. You’re wearing a cute pair of red lace panties. You sit up and tug at the hem of his shirt. He lifts his arms so you can take it off of him. You run your hands up and down his torso. You take his beanie off and run your hands through his soft curls. He tugs at your crop top. When it comes off his jaw drops.

“You weren’t wearing a bra this whole time?”

“No, why would I wear a bra with that shirt? It’s practically already a bra.”

His face goes right for your chest as he wraps his arms around your back. He pulls you to sit on his lap. He kisses between each breast, your head rolling back at the way he takes the time to suck on each nipple equally. You don’t know what is it is tonight, but you feel really sexy. However, your eyes start to feel droopy.

“Harry, I think, um…” You try to open your eyes back up. “I think I feel sleepy.” You say, passing out

“Oh, shit.” Harry sighs, and lays you down. He grabs a glass of water and puts it on the night stand for you. He rolls you onto your stomach, and sticks a small trash can on the floor, just in case you throw up. He didn’t realize just how much you had drank. The combination of beer, and drinking a lot of tequila at the bar with your friends must have did you in. He takes his pants off, and climbs in next to you.

//

You wake up the next morning with your hair a mess, and your face smooshed into the pillow. Your head is killing you and it hurts to look into the light creeping through the blinds. You turn over to reach for Harry, but he wasn’t in the bed. You don’t remember much from last night. You remember him picking you up and bringing you to the bed, then nothing. You still had your underwear on, but your other clothes were missing. You sit up slowly, wondering where he could be. You hear a flush from down the hall, and sigh. He was just in the bathroom. He smirks when he sees you sitting up, covering yourself with the blanket.

“Hey you.” He says, sitting on the edge of the bed next to you, only in his boxers. “Feelin’ alright?”

“My head hurts.”

“Here.” He has two Tylenol in his hand and drops them into yours. You take the glass of water on the table, and pop the pills into your mouth. “You, uh, scared me last night.”

“Hm? Why, what happened?”

“Well, we were making out and you just sort of passed out. How much did you drink?”

“God, I don’t know. We had tequila at the bar, so between that and the amount of beer I had while bowling.” You nearly gag. “Not a great combo. I’m so sorry if I ruined our evening.”

“You didn’t, it was still a really fun night. Maybe, just, if we go out like that again…not drink so much? You’re not in college anymore, (y/n).”

“What is that supposed to mean?” You say, a little annoyed with his tone.

“Nothing, just you don’t need drink to excess every time you go out with your friends. You don’t see me doing that.”

“Only when Louis is around.”

“One time you saw me like that, and if you noticed, I didn’t pass out. You’re lucky you didn’t have your head in the toilet all night.”

“I don’t appreciate you lecturing me.”

“M’not.”

“Yeah, you are. I don’t see them that much, nor do I get to go out dancing and drinking that much anymore. So if I want to party, I’m going to, Harry.” You see your crop top on the floor. You get up, covering your chest, and put it on. He squints at you, unsure of what to say. “And now you’re all quiet is that it? Is daddy done giving me a stern talking to?” You roll your eyes and walk towards the bathroom. You hear him get up and follow you, he stops you from closing the door. “I have to pee, do you mind?”

“What the fuck did you just say to me?”

“I said, I have to pee.”

“No, before that.”

“You heard what I said, I’m not repeating it. I don’t need you treating me like a baby!”

“That’s not what I was doing! Am I not allowed to be concerned? You literally passed out in my arms. You scared the shit out of me (y/n).”

“Well, I’m sorry for that, really I am. I would never intentionally try to scare you. But sometimes these things happen. I don’t usually drink like that. You make it seem like I’m not allowed to have any fun.”

“You are allowed to have fun, but you’re-“

“Not in college anymore?” He just looks at you, almost defeated. “Trust me, I’m aware.” You sigh. “Look, I know I’m in the wrong here, I get that. But please, do not talk to me like that. I don’t need my boyfriend acting like he’s my father.”

“I wasn’t doing that. So, what, am I not allowed to call you out on shit? That makes me your daddy?”

“You can call me out on shit, call me out on whatever the fuck you want, just don’t talk to me like that!” You slam the bathroom door closed, causing your head to throb. You sit down to go to the bathroom, and start crying. You brush your teeth and wash your face quick, wiping your tears away. You knew you were being childish. He was probably up all night worried about you, and this is how you act? It was your first fight, and you didn’t like how it felt.

You open the door slowly, and walk back down the hall to find him sitting on the bed with his head down, twiddling his thumbs. He doesn’t want to look up at you, even though you’re standing right in front of him.

“Harry, I’m sorry I yelled at you. I’m sorry I got so mad. It was a stupid thing to flip out over. You took care of me last night, and instead of being grateful, I acted like a brat.” He looks up at you, his eyes are red. Did he cry too?

“I’m sorry I set you off. It wasn’t my intention to talk to you with that tone. And honestly, you were actin’ like a brat, I didn’t like it.” You look down at your feet, in fear you may just start sobbing. “Look, next time we go out with them, or if it’s a girl’s night or somethin’, could you maybe just dial it back? All I meant about the college comment was that you can’t just bounce back the next day. I know I can’t. It’s okay that you want to party with your friends, I don’t care about that.”

“No, you just care that you didn’t get to touch me last night.” You wipe a tear from your eyes as he stands up, towering over you.

“Wanna run that by me again?”

“That’s why you’re upset right? Because you didn’t get to diddle me, or that I didn’t get to do it to you? Because, because baby missed me all week?” You were starting to be cruel. You grab your jeans from last night, and put them on. “I had a fucking cold, and you made me feel bad about it. I just needed some alone time to recover, and you didn’t want to give it to me.” Harry blinks over and over, and then pinches the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.

“So which is it?”

“What?”

“Am I baby or daddy?”

“That’s what you’re choosing to focus on here?”

“You’re using pretty derogatory terms, (y/n). Why didn’t you just tell me I was buggin’ you last week, instead of bottling it up?”

“Because I didn’t realize it bothered me until just now.” You cross your arms over your chest. “I was just fine without you. I made myself a big pot of soup, I bought some Nyquil, and I even got myself the good tissues. I feel like you think I’m this helpless little girl sometimes.”

“I don’t think that. I’m sorry I wanted to make sure you were okay and be there for you. Fuck me, right?”

“Don’t turn this around and make me feel bad for being truthful.”

“You’re purposefully saying nasty things to me!”

“I think I should go.” You take your phone out to order an uber, but Harry grabs your wrist. “Let go of me.”

“No.”

“No?”

“No. You don’t get to just walk away while we’re arguing.”

“Why not?”

“Because that’s childish? Let’s just figure this out like adults.”

“There’s nothing to figure out! We’re having a fight, and I don’t want to be around you right now, at the risk of saying more nasty things.” You yank your wrist out of his grasp. “And the next time I tell you to get your hands off me, you better fucking listen.” You scramble to grab all your things, and rush out of his apartment, slamming the door behind you.

“What the fuck just happened?!” He says to himself. Your first fight. Over something completely stupid, all because he called you out on your crap. Did you always act this way when you did something wrong?

Why were you acting like this? Oh, you knew why. It was the hormones from your new pack of birth control that always made you act like a raging bitch. Harry got caught in the crossfire this month. No, you can’t blame all of this on hormones. You knew every word that came out of your mouth was going to cut him, deep. Why did you want to hurt him? Anxiety. Were you pushing him away so he wouldn’t want to go home with you? You could punch yourself in the face for acting the way you did.

You screamed into a pillow the second you got into your apartment. You took a long hot shower, and got into some sweat pants and a sports bra. He hadn’t texted or called, you knew you had to be the one to do it. You picked up your phone and swallowed your pride.

“Hi.” He says after waiting three rings to answer. Your voice breaks and you cry into the phone. “I can’t understand you.”

“I’m, I’m so sorry. I was acting like a child. I said such hurtful things to you. It’s not an excuse, but I think I’m just getting anxious about Thanksgiving, and I think I was trying to push you away. It was so stupid. I was wrong. There I was telling you not to speak to me a certain way, and I spoke to you like an asshole. You didn’t deserve that, especially not from me.” You wipe your eyes. “I love you so much, Harry, please I’m sorry.”

“What, what did you just say?” What did you just say? You admitted that you loved him.

“I, I said I love you.”

“I love you too, (y/n).”

“Really?”

“Yes….I’m coming over there.”

“Okay.” He hangs up, and practically races to his car. He couldn’t believe this is how you said this to each other. How cliché, during a fight.

[braden-holtbys]

Like Morning Follows Night pt. 2

A/N: Hey guys! I’ve been working on this for a little while now. I didn’t wanna make it too long so sorry if the end seems abrupt. I may make a part three to this if y’all like it!  Also feel free to send me a message for more or anything else! And as always, it’ll be under the cut.

It’s been two years since Alec had left, and honestly, you’ve been doing so much better nowadays. You’ve been loving your job, but you also kind of feel like it’s time to get relocated. Not that the job or anything was bad, it’s just that you’ve been living mostly by yourself in LA, and you know damn well living in the city can get ridiculous. Occasionally you would look here and there for places that seemed reasonable, but of course there was a place that you avoided. Las Vegas, Nevada. The neon lights and the casinos weren’t for you, and you had previously gone there to visit family. However, you stopped going as much as you used to. 

I look around and see that I’m alone. Sin City’s cold and empty, no one’s around to judge me. Ooh I can’t see clearly when you’re gone. I’m blinded by the lights.

You figured that the relationship broke off because of the trade. It was true, but you tried to keep your focus elsewhere since you thought he’d move on anyways. For you, you didn’t get into a relationship and had some walls up that seemed so hard to break down. Your friends had tried to set you up on dates, and it just never worked out. Things seemed to be missing, yet you would try so hard to not be too nitpicky and reminisce on an ex. Hell, you’ve even avoided Staples Center when the Knights came around. 

Your friends have been encouraging you to take some time off of work. They seemed to notice that you’ve been dealing with a lot at work and trying to look for places near a new relocation site. Your boss had told you, as one of the event managers, that Vegas might be one of the sites. As much as you dreaded it, you accepted it as a new start and even if it’s the same place where he’s at. It seemed petty to dread being even in the same city as your ex, but you still believed that he wouldn’t even notice that you’re there and that he moved on. Plus, your boss was cool enough to give you a week off to find a place out there. The hard work, the ups and downs, everything really paid off. 

I’m running out of time ‘cause I can see the sun light up the sky, so I hit the road in overdrive. Baby, oh I can’t help it. 

Keys, bags, gas, snacks… check. Driving to Vegas wasn’t so terrible as  you had your music that slaps. Honestly, at least you’ll have time to yourself and you felt confident enough to actually attend the game on Thursday night. 

“Phew, that took long enough. Seems like I’ll just spend the rest of the night in the room,” you said quietly to yourself as you put the card in the slot. Four and a half hours of driving, getting something to eat, and finally checking into the Bellagio got you slumped. Honestly, you were tired enough to knock out then and there which didn’t sound like a bad idea. You actually were gonna look at a couple apartments tomorrow morning anyways. 

-Fast forward to tomorrow because idk how to end the night without more filler and not getting straight to the point-

The apartments you had looked at were nice, but of course one or two were better than others. At least that’s a good start. You also had some time to hang out with your cousins who were aware of the situation with you know who and with work. A little text and phone call here and there with them always made you feel better, also because sometimes their shit talking was funny. You were at their house out in the suburbs, just hanging out for a bit because what else is there to do in Vegas. Like honestly? 

“Anyways, what are you gonna do if you happen to run into Alec? I mean sure there’s lots of people here, but honestly…,” your cousin Lexi had trailed off. 

“I don’t know, probably just keep on going and just leave it alone,” you replied.

“Well he better not try anything sneaky, Y/N,” she added. “I don’t wanna see you get hurt again because of him or else he’ll catch these hands.”

You chuckled in response.

”Anyways, I gotta get going here. So we’ll catch up again sometime right?”

“Yeah for sure,” she commented as she walked with you to the door. “Just text or call.”

You nodded as you made your way back to the car and left for the hotel room. It was only three in the afternoon, but you always liked to nap before the games. Honestly, you still missed pregame naps with Alec. You missed being wrapped in his arms, his warmth, the light snoring, but most of all you missed him being the big spoon. You had plopped onto the bed as soon as you got back to the room. So many thoughts were racing through your head, yet it was hard to get them out. 

I said, ooh, I’m blinded by the lights. No, I can’t sleep until I feel your touch. Ooh, I’m drowning in the night. When I’m like this you’re the one I trust. 

It was hard to sleep, but with a puck drop at seven, you needed to get ready. The clock on the nightstand read 5:54 pm. It didn’t take too long to get ready, and you reluctantly took your jersey with you. It was Alec’s jersey, but you still kept it because it looked better on you anyways. 

6:15 pm and a quick uber to the arena, just in time for warm ups. You decided to stay on the Kings side but close to the benches and glass. It was a bad idea but you didn’t care. It was a risk, but oh you needed the thrill. With the buzzer going off and the announcement of both teams coming on ice for warm ups, the pit of anxiety was building up in your stomach. 

You looked up at the jumbotron, and for a brief second, you saw yourself on it. How embarrassing because now it announced to Alec that you were in attendance. You were sure he didn’t see it, but somehow you felt like someone was looking at you. Whoever it was, they were looking from a distance, like they knew you, examining you. It felt so intense and you didn’t want to look. Yet, you had the built up a tiny bit of courage to look around and to see if you can confirm the feeling. 

And there it was. Your eyes had locked with Alec’s for a brief moment in time as he was conveniently by the dividing line. It felt like eternity as you both looked at each other until he had skated off for a couple shots on net. The anxiety built up even more, you can feel it. It didn’t matter though since you were here for a time, good or not. You still stood by the glass until warm ups were over and hurried to the nearest restroom that you can find.

“Oh my god, oh my god…,” you whispered to yourself as you got to an open stall and locked the door behind you. Your phone had vibrated a couple times before you took it out of your pocket. It was a couple text notifications from a number you didn’t have, probably because you either deleted or wrong number or whatever. 

‘Hey, it’s Alec.’

You didn’t... you couldn’t believe that he still had your number. It must be a joke at this point because it’s been a couple years and he barely even texted you after he left. You’ve ignored the texts and figured that he’ll just delete your number. Why would he have a number of an ex anyways?

A: ‘Come meet me after the game outside the locker room. I’ll let the security know. Only if you’re comfortable…’

You read it over again before replying. Panic and somehow relief were the two main feelings you had.

Y: ‘Fine, I’ll be there’

It couldn’t be… why now?

You got me in the mood, mood. I’m scared but if my heart’s gonna break at the end of the night then we’re in danger.

[writers-block246]

Bucky Barnes x Reader - The Light Amidst my Darkness

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 4, Chapter 5

Warning: Mentions of mental illness. I tried to present Bucky’s challenges as accurately as possible. However, if anyone has some suggestions as to better portray his illness and resulting therapy, please lmk! (I researched to depict his struggle with mental illness and the type of therapy he would recieve as accurately as I could). Curse words are also included.

Notes: Italics are thoughts and emphasis. Set before Infinity War and Endgame. Slow burn. Slight angst in this chapter.

——————————————————————————

Chapter 3:

Your day had been, to put it simply, Hell. You had been plagued by nightmares the night before, the images consisting of subjects you could no longer remember once the drowsiness seeped from your skin. Thus, you had awoken on the wrong side of the bed (quite literally), and your mood hadn’t improved since. You weren’t going to lie: you were irritable and tired, and frankly? You just wanted some sleep.

On top of your sleepiness, your boss had you in meetings (discussing unimportant topics, in your opinion) all morning. There was not a moment to think, let alone catch up on some much-needed rest.

To make matters worse, your first session consisted of a whirlwind of emotions from your patient; ranging from solemn to outraged to cheerful. Normally, you could handle the situation just fine. However, your restless night made it nearly impossible.

You sighed. You just really wanted to get this day over with.

One last session and then I can go home and sleep forever.

Your last session of the day was with James Barnes. While the man still hadn’t said anything since your last conclave where he cracked and asked you about your motives, he had become noticeably less hesitant when entering your office. And dare you say, more comfortable. You had high hopes that he would continue to progress. However, you expected his silence would persist for a few more sessions, at the least. You definitely pegged him as a stubborn and determined man.

He wouldn’t give up easily.

Or so you thought.

The usual time of 2:30 struck and you settled in your seat, awaiting James’s punctual arrival.

As per usual, the soldier knocked, waited for your invitation to enter, and then opened the door quietly. After, he made his way to his seat and settled comfortably. You noticed there was only trace amount of tension in his shoulders. Still evident, but it was clear that he was more secure in this space. He no longer appeared ready to bolt at a moments notice.

Giving him your typical smile, you greeted him.

Instead of nodding however, he responded with a greeting of his own: “Hello.”

Simple, you knew, but this meant everything for James. You knew he had probably been preparing himself for this moment for days, trying to convince himself that you were at least somewhat trustworthy.

You really couldn’t help the smile that lit up your entire face.

He trusted you, at least a little. But, you refused to push him. Greeting you probably took a large toll on him. And so, the rest of your session was as quiet as a sleeping viper.

It was funny, really, how one little greeting from the man made your mood improve exponentially.

But it meant you had done something. As insignificant as it appeared to the human eye, you had, some way or another, helped James Buchanan Barnes. It was a small step, but it still meant progression. And in this case, any advancement was good. Plus, from the information in his files, you made the conclusion that no one had truly benefitted or assisted the ex-assassin. So, the fact that you, out of all the highly regarded medical professionals that he had dealt with, aided him in any way, was mind blowing. Of course, you were determined to see it done, but to actually have it happen was shocking.

What wasn’t shocking, however, was the smile that remained on your face for the rest of the session.

I can’t believe I actually made progress with him today. Me! Of all people!

Your plan, so far, was working.

Caught up in your pride at your accomplishment, you hadn’t even realized the session had ended. Realizing you were late to give your usual ‘goodbye,’ you went to open your mouth when Mr. Barnes beat you to it: “Goodbye. Have a nice day.”

And with that, he had crossed the room and exited before you could utter a response.

He truly outdid himself today. Not only did he greet me, but he also wished me a good day! Progress, indeed.

You grinned, perhaps the day wasn’t so bad after all.

And so, the following sessions occurred in similar fashion. Although, each time he greeted you, you tried to appear less surprised (it was up for debate if you succeeded). At the end of the session, like clockwork, he would say his goodbye and hasten out the door. (The previous session, however, he had seemed to wait a little longer before leaving the room, giving you just enough time to return his ‘goodbye.’ You still weren’t sure whether or not this was done on purpose, though. But you told yourself it was).

The change in him was small, but if you looked closely, it was clear to see that he was becoming more familiar with you. The thought left a little strand of hope in your stomach. Hope that you could truly help this traumatized and hurting man.

Thursday morning, as you strolled to the Tower’s coffee stand, you mumbled to yourself. “First I’ve got to turn in those reports, and then I need to update the information in my files. I also should probably-“

“Overworking yourself again?”

You jumped at the sound, turning to give whoever had the audacity to scare you a piece of your mind.

The blue eyes and blonde hair gave him away immediately.

Steve Rogers.

You smiled. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Captain.”

He chuckled. “I’m sure. But seriously, you need to cut yourself some slack, you know.”

“Oh, ‘cause you’re such a great role model in that subject,” you said teasingly.

He gave a bashful smile. “Touché.” He cleared his throat, “so, how’s it going with your new patient?”

You couldn’t help but smile. He was always so worried about James, so protective of him.

“Steve, you know that’s confidential.”

His face fell a little. “Yeah, yeah I know. I just worry about him sometimes.”

You sighed, feeling bad for the Captain. “Well, I can’t tell you much, but what I can tell you is that he is behaving quite well. Better than expected actually.”

At that, Steve’s eyes lit up. “Yeah? Is he improving?” he asked excitedly.

“Steve.....” you warned.

He coughed, embarrassed. “Right, right. Confidentiality.”

You smiled warmly. “Exactly.” Looking up at him, you playfully asked: “So, the only reason you decided to give me a heart attack was to ask about Mr. Barnes?”

Steve blushed and rushed to correct you. “No. No. Of course not. I just haven’t seen you in awhile.”

You laughed at his cute reaction. “Yeah, I’ve been super busy as of lately. I’ve been trying to stay on top of it, but I’m not sure if I’m succeeding.”

Placing a hand on your shoulder, he confidently told you: “I’m sure you’ve got it handled. You’re always so put together. Makes me a little jealous.”

You both laughed.

“Thanks, Steve. So, what about you, Mr. Captain America? What have you been up to?”

“Same old, same old, to tell you the truth.”

“Sooooo, saving the world?”

“Pretty much,” he laughed shyly.

Suddenly, a loud beeping noise interrupted your conversation. Checking your phone, you realized you had a session with Mr. Barnes in ten minutes. “Damn, looks like I’m not getting any coffee today.”

He nodded understandingly. “Work?”

“Our infamous Mr. Barnes, actually.”

He smiled. “Well, I hope it goes well.”

Grinning back, you said: “Me too. I’ll see you around, Cap.”

“See you later, Y/N.”

After exchanging promises to meet up and talk, you turned and headed back to your office. You were only a little disappointed in your lack of coffee.

If I had to give up my caffeine, at least it was replaced by some good company.

Finally reaching your office, you took a seat and began preparing for your next session with James.

The minutes slipped past, and you heard your phone ding. Still no James. Fifteen minutes passed and he still hadn’t arrived.

Where is he?

A knock then came at your door. After calling for them to enter, James strode in and settled in his seat.

“Hello. It wasn’t a good day for me.”

Holy shit. Did he just start a session? Like an actual session with talking? What the hell do I do now??

When you gave no response, he continued on: “I know that therapists usually ask you about your day, so.” He nervously avoided your eyes, remaining tense in his seat.

Recovering, you gave a slight cough. “Okay. What made it a bad day?”

Keeping his eyes rooted firmly at the side of your face, he said: “I’m tired. And angry. And normally, I can suppress the negative emotions, but it was too much today.”

You nodded. “That makes sense. Is there a reason it was too much?

He sighed. “Someone told me that they hoped I ‘got well soon.’ And I know, I know, they were just trying to be nice. But it just reminded me that I’m still so fucked up. Even months after I got rid of Hydra’s brainwash.”

You sighed. “Look, Mr. Barnes. I’m not going to sit here and feed you the same shit your previous psychiatrists have. I told myself on day one that I wasn’t going to treat you like some kid. So, there’s no point in lying to you. You’ve been through a lot of shit, and that’s going to take some time to work through. But Mr. Barnes, I don’t think you’re as broken as you think you are. As other people have made you think you are.”

“You—you don’t?” he asked hesitantly.

“No. In fact, you’ve made considerable progress.”

He looked confused. “I’ve hardly talked.”

“But you went from not talking at all, to talking a little. You also seem noticeably less tense. In quite a short time span, I might add.”

“I would hardly call that progress,” he scoffed.

“I would,” you stated strongly. “I know it’s hard to refrain from beating yourself up, because you want to go back to normal, to be the person you once were. Honestly though? Being the person you used to be is overrated, as there’s always room for self-improvement. After all, don’t you want to become a better version of who you were? Even before the whole ‘Winter Soldier’ thing?

He thought for a moment. “Yes.”

You smiled. “I want to be a better person than who I was years ago, too. So, I strive for it everyday.”

“You do?

“Oh, yeah,” you laughed. “I’ve done things I wish I could take back. But, the past is the past, and I can only move forward.”

He seemed to contemplate that last sentence, almost as if he didn’t agree. You made sure to take note of that.

You continued: “Plus, you’re on no set schedule. There’s no expectation that you improve by a certain date. So try not to push yourself, okay? I realize it’s hard, but we’ve got all the time in the world. Plus, you’re not too bad of company, Mr. Barnes.”

You saw the corners of his lips quirk up at that.

Clearing his throat, he said: “Thank you. I really appreciate you being honest with me. I get sick of hearing the same shit from doctors.”

You smiled. “Of course. That’s what I’m here for.”

A chirping noise signaled the end of your session.

“And that’s that, Mr. Barnes. I’ll see you Tuesday.”

He nodded. “Have a good day.”

With a smile in your voice, you said: “You too.”

As he exited your office, he couldn’t help but feel a little better about himself.

Maybe this isn’t such a bad thing after all, he thought.

-Admin Cheyenne

More to come!! Lmk what you think!

[lust-kth]

BTS Reaction: When He Confesses His Feelings

Pairing: BTS x Reader

Warnings: None

Genre: 100% PURE FLUFF

A/N: This is my first reaction and I am trying to write as often as I can. So I do hope y’all enjoy and stay tuned for my next post! 

Kim Seokjin

He’s usually a confident man whenever he does anything. But when it comes to you, he’s a whole mess. His long-time crush on you has gotten to the point where he can’t be without you anymore. One night when he walks you home after a night out with your friends, you can’t help but notice he’s quieter than usual and it makes you worried.

“Jin? Are you okay? You haven’t said much all evening and I’m worried something is up.”

“Ah I’m okay y/n, it’s nothing really. No need to worry about me.”

He gave you a quick smile before looking back down on the ground but you grabbed his wrist and he was taken aback by your sudden action.

“I’ve known you since we were teenagers so I know when you’re lying. Please tell me the truth Kim Seokjin.”

The use of his full name made him sigh and he looked deep into your eyes then cupped your cheek, making you blush unintentionally.

“You really want to know y/n? I’m in love with you. I know I shouldn’t because our friendship could be ruined and I don’t want that. But I thought it was time you knew.”

He dropped his hand from your face when you bit your lip, feeling stupid you didn’t see it from the beginning but then you laughed, confusing him.

“Damn it Jin, that’s all it was? Well then, I think I should tell my truth as well…I’m also in love with you.”

His eyes widened and he grabbed your hands, the biggest smile etched across his face. He couldn’t believe it, he finally got the girl he’s loved for so long.

Min Yoongi

Meeting Yoongi was a total coincidence. You met while you were looking for equipment to work on your music and he happened to be at the same store you were, both of you looking for the same launchpad since you were both rising producers, which became a great conversation starter. Flash-forward to 2 years later and you’ve been close friends since, working hard on music and you’ve been so high in demand, you two decided to work together to create your own label. In those 2 years, you developed a crush on Yoongi but never acted on your feelings because he was your friend but also your business partner and you didn’t want to ruin things. One afternoon you were finishing a sample for an artist when Yoongi knocked on the studio, letting him in and saw he brought food. 

“I bought tteokbokki for you cause I know you haven’t eaten since yesterday.”

“Wow Min Yoongi, you really are very considerate of my health. My heart is melting.”

“Yeah yeah, come on eat up.

”You took the bag of food and started eating while Yoongi sat at your computer and listened to what you were working on. He nodded in approval.

“That’s coming up really nice y/n. They’re gonna love it.”

“Thanks Yoongs. And thanks for the food too, I was starving.”

“Yeah no problem…look y/n, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you and usually I don’t speak up about my feelings but I really need to get this off my chest and it may ruin our friendship but at least I know that I said it…I like you. I really like you a lot and every time you come into my studio, my whole day gets better and there’s no one else I’d be doing any this with but you.”

You stared at him, unable to believe you heard the words you’ve been wanting to hear for so long, then you scooted closer to him and laid your head on his shoulder. 

“I like you too Yoongi.”

In that moment his heart fluttered in excitement and held your hand in his. He finally had the courage to confess the love he had for you since the moment he met you.

Jung Hoseok

You and Hoseok became fast friends when you met at a dance competition. Your dance team was up against his, yet despite losing to him, you found him interesting and wanted to work with him. Your dance teams got together every week after that and the two of you choreographed all the dances, being impressed by both your skills. At this point you integrated both your teams to be one and y’all were training hard for an upcoming competition. You and Hoseok were practicing your parts while the others were resting and he watched closely to the movements you were making with your body, suddenly getting flustered. He knew he found you attractive but never acted on his feelings since you two had a good thing going on. No this time he saw how focused you were and how much effort you put into your dancing. You noticed he wasn’t going the same rhythm as you so you stopped.

“Hoseok? Everything okay?” “Oh uh yeah sorry. I just spaced out for a moment.” “Alright. Well let’s take a 10 minute break and we’ll come back to it. Mind coming with me to get more water?”

He nodded and followed you out into the hall outside where you refilled your water bottle and looked over at him, noticing he was staring at you.

“What?”

“Y/n…I think I should say this before we go back. The reason why I haven’t been able to focus is because you’re distracting me. In a good way though. I really like you and I want to take you out for dinner.”

“Really? Umm yes of course! Wow I didn’t expect this. Here I thought I was gonna be the one to ask you out.” “Wait, you were gonna ask me out? So you like me too?”

“Yup. Did I do a good job hiding it?”

“Yes you did. Alright then, I’ll pick you up at 7 tonight.”

After the two of you walked in hand in hand, your friends taking notice and gasped. 

“It’s about time you two got together!” 

Kim Namjoon

He was your college algebra tutor since you had a lot of trouble with the subject and couldn’t study by yourself. Your upperclassmen recommended him to you so you reached out to him and y’all would meet up every Tuesday and Thursday in the library. You were so intrigued by him and felt yourself falling for him every time you saw him. It was soon finals time and you were on your last study session with him before your algebra final, reviewing everything you had learned. 

“So then what would x equal in this equation?”

You worked though the problem, biting your lip and showed him your work.

“x would equal 4?”

“Umm not quite. Here let’t try again y/n.”

“I’m never gonna get this Joon. I’m gonna fail this fucking final. I know it!”

“Well if that’s what you think, then I guess I’m a bad tutor.”

“No it’s not that, it’s me. My brain sucks. Like I do get some concepts but this is really kicking my ass.”

He shook his head and rubbed your back to comfort you. The sudden contact made you blush when he smiled, showing those dimples that made your heart dance. 

“No don’t sell yourself short. You can do this, I believe in you. This is probably inappropriate right now but maybe after your math final, you’d like to join me for ice cream to celebrate you finishing up your first year of college. Maybe like a date, because I really like you y/n. From the moment you walked through those doors.”

You sat there with your mouth open a little, was this really attractive, nerdy guy really asking you out. How could you say no to him? Plus you knew you liked him too.

“Alright then, it’s a date Joon.”He mentally high-fived himself, happy he scored a date with the girl of his dreams. 

Park Jimin

You’ve been friends with Jimin since you were kids and you grew up together doing the same things. You cared about each other very much so when one day, your boyfriend of 1 and a half years decided to call it quits, calling you a cheater because you spent so much time with Jimin and you did your best to explain to him that he was just you best friend and nothing more. Unfortunately your ex didn’t see it that way and broke off you relationship with no regrets, leaving you devastated because you loved him, or so you thought. That night you cried your heart out and called Jimin over to your house since you didn’t want to be alone and he arrived within 5 minutes of calling him. 

“Oh y/n. He’s a piece of shit. He must have been really jealous and insecure to assume you were cheating on him. Forget that jerk.”

“But I loved him Jimin! I really thought he was the one.”

His heart broke for you, but it also broke for himself because he knew you would never love him the way he does. He wrapped you in his arms tightly, his face nuzzled in your hair as the familiar scent of your strawberry shampoo hit his nose and at that moment he couldn’t keep his feelings bottled anymore. 

“Y/n…I know this isn’t the right time to say this but…I like you. I like you more than a friend and when you were with this jerk, I wished it was me you stayed up late talking with, I wished it was me giving you flowers and gifts, and I wished it was me you would say I love you to.  I would treat you better than he ever did, and who else knows you more than I? So, if you want, I’ll leave.”

He released you from his arms and stood up to walk away but felt your hand wrap around his wrist. He was surprised and looked at you as you wiped your tears away. 

“Please don’t go Jiminie…look just give me some time and we’ll talk about this okay? I’m not rejecting you at all, in fact I’m glad you told me.” 

“I would never break your heart y/n. I promise you that now.”

He kisses your hand with his soft lips and lays you down so you can get some sleep, never leaving your side the rest of the day.

Kim Taehyung

Taehyung was one of your work best friends. He made your day in the office much more tolerable with his jokes and that boxy smile you loved so much. One day you sat in your cubicle, bored out of your mind with all the amount of work you had to finish before you left for the day. Your head was hurting and all you wanted to do was shove the papers in your boss’ face and walk out the door, but of course you couldn’t do that since you needed the job to eat and have a roof over your head so you put up with it. Moments later, Taehyung’s head appeared overhead and you looked up at him. 

“What can I do for you sir?”

“Eh nothing, just wanted to check in with you slick. You nearly done? It’s almost 5.”

“Pshh I wish I could say I was, I think I might have to stay over time.”

“Well I can keep you company if you want.” “Oh no Taehyung, you go enjoy your Friday night. I’ll be fine.”

He pouted, knowing you’d give into his offer with that look on his face. You sighed and gave him a warm smile in response, not having to say another word as he disappeared back into his cubicle for the remaining half hour. 5 o’clock arrived and everyone except the two of you left, your work nearly done but you still had to input the information onto your computer. Taehyung was on his phone, glancing up at you every few minutes and took in the sight of you. To him you were one of the most hard-working women he’s ever met and he felt upset you weren’t appreciated as well as you deserved. Finally after an hour and half you were finished and you looked over at Taehyung who was asleep and you felt bad he stayed more time than he needed to, but mostly thankful for him keeping you company. You looked at him a little bit longer, appreciating his facial features, especially that cute little mole on his nose and shook him gently. 

“Taehyung, time to wake up.”

“No 5 more minutes mom, I was just about to tell y/n I liked her.”

Your eyes widened in shock. Did he just say what you thought he said? Taehyung liked you? Not that there was a problem with that, you liked him just as much.

“Umm Tae? It’s me y/n.”

He jumped up instantly, realizing he said that and felt his cheeks flush red with embarrassment. He did not just confess to his crush while half asleep.

“Shit, you didn’t hear that right?”

“That you liked me? Yeah I did.”

“Fuck, I wanted to do it properly.”

“Tae, no worries. I like you too.”

“Really? So then would you like to go out with me tonight?”

“Absolutely.”

Jeon Jungkook

Jungkook was one of your online friends you met through gaming. He was the one you would play with almost every day and you grew closer as friends. You really hoped to meet him one day but you lived in different countries and you had no way to get to him. Except one day when y’all were talking on Discord, he surprised you saying he got money for his birthday and wanted to spend it on a plane ticket to go see you. You definitely wanted that more than anything so you two were quick to make plans and he arrived in your home country a month later. You picked him up at the airport and showed him around your hometown, doing everything you enjoyed. At the end of the day, the two of you went over to your place and started playing Overwatch. You couldn’t believe he was actually here playing video games next to you. When your team won a few matches, you took a break and sat on the couch with him.

“Damn if only you could stay forever. This is so much more fun.”

“I agree. Thanks for showing me around y/n. I just really wish I had more than a week with you.”

“Me too. I’m gonna be so sad when you leave.”

“Then we should really make the most of it then.” 

The rest of the week you and Jungkook were together, you mostly played video games but you also went out and enjoyed the nightlife. It was soon the day before Jungkook had to leave so that afternoon, you helped him pack as you felt tears starting to come on. 

“I don’t want you to go. I want you to stay here playing video games with me all day."

“There’s nothing more than that. You’re the only one who really understands me…I won’t find anyone else like you back home…”

“Jungkook…” 

“Y/n, I need to be honest. I’m in love with you. I have been for quite some time now and I should have said it earlier but I was afraid. Now I don’t want to leave you.”

You started crying, your feelings for him starting to come up to and you hugged him tightly. There was no way you were going to let him leave after that confession but you knew he had to go home. 

“I’m in love with you too…god this is so fucking hard.”

“I know…but I’m willing to do a long-distance relationship if you are. We’ll video chat every day and I’ll text you whenever. I don’t give a shit about the time difference. Whenever you need me, I’ll be there for you.” 

He kissed your head softly and you held each other for as long as you could.  

[itsgonnabe-brian-may]

The Cure to Anger

// Requested by: @carleebann

Hi there! I just wanted to say that I love your writing! It’s really amazing and the detail you put into the stories is appreciated. I was wondering if I could request some super angsty Joe/John maybe ending with some sexy Joe/John?? ❤️❤️

This is also loosely inspired by #14 - break up sex from @joemhazzello head cannon prompt sheet. 

AN: Apparently, I love some angsty joe so here you go! I hope you like it! 

Joe Mazzello x reader 

wc: 2.2k- ish

Warnings: some angst, cheating, breakups, some smut (18+ only)

//

The last few months you were beaming, everything was looking up, the world seemed like a perfect place, nothing could get you down. You were happy, and the ring box hiding in your shared dresser sock drawer made you even happier, he hadn't asked yet but you were thrilled. You had confided in your close friend and castmate Joe Mazzello about your secret finding. You didn't want to bore Gwil and Ben and you didn't want to seem like you were bragging that you weren't single and they were. Besides Lucy, who practically guessed it, was out of town, and you were just too excited to keep it to yourself. That left Joe, who was in his own relationship of a year or so to confess your findings. He was also ecstatic and happy for you. Of course, he accidentally hinted at it in conversations with the rest of the group. Joe was never the best one at keeping secrets, especially when they were super exciting and revolved around someone everybody loved. Pretty much the entire cast of Bohemian Rhapsody knew that Sam, your boyfriend was going to propose. Thankfully they didn’t let it slip to the press, which never ended well.

Well, that was a few months ago. Now you were utterly crushed. Hot red anger coursed through your body as you tried to figure out what was going on and how you could have been so blind. You had found out on Thursday and today was Saturday, however you would have to hide your anger and maybe get a little drunk tonight when you hung out with the BoRhap cast. It's not like you could cancel, you guys rarely had the chance to hang out together anymore. Especially now that awards season had been over for a few months now. Plus you knew Joe would want someone to get drunk with after his unfortunate very public breakup with his girlfriend. So you pulled on a short dress and some heels and lazily did your makeup, you didn't care enough to try tonight. It wasn't like you were trying to get anyone's attention, it clearly didn't work when you had tried.  

Once you showed up to the pub you walked straight to the bar and downed a shot of tequila to calm down. The fire in the back of your throat perfectly matched your rage. But you couldn’t relish in the feeling for long.

"Starting already I see," Ben teased as he joined you at the bar.

You shot him a glare, half kidding, half warning him to back off.

"Your the one to talk," you laughed as you saw him down his own shot. You joined him to the booth in the back, which was your group's regular spot. Soon the rest of the cast joined in and began talking and sipping alcoholic beverages. Excitement buzzed as you all caught up with each other's lives. And as expected Joe was diving right into the alcohol, 3 shots down before the ordered burgers arrived. You, on the other hand, were still slowly nursing a glass of scotch. Scotch was never your go-to drink and you didn't really like it, and yet, you didn't think twice about ordering it. Maybe because it seemed to fit your mood. Gwil made a teasing comment about it and you laughed with him and dove into your own conversation. Soon the topic of relationships came up and both you and Joe stiffened and you subconsciously reached for Joe. You patted his thigh reassuringly, knowing that he had no idea that you felt the same way. He returned a tightlipped smile and went on about the paparazzi making it worse than it actually was.

"Y/N, what about you and Sam? Is there going to be a ring anytime soon?" Gwil asked harmlessly, trying to lighten the mood after Joe's somber comment.

"Yeah, just not on my finger," You scoffed downing the rest of your drink quickly to stop your mouth from running. You were aware that you sounded like a bitch, but you didn’t really want to talk about.

"What do you mean? You said last time that you thought Sam was going to propose, you saw the box," Joe asked turning towards you concerned.

"Well it wasn't for me," You answered curtly.

"You said no? I thought you wanted--" Lucy asked trying to understand.

"Oh, I wanted too, The ring... The ring wasn't for me," You said looking away, the familiar sensation of tears stung at your eyes, but you forbade them to fall.

"You mean--" Gwil opened his mouth to say something but couldn't find the words. Nobody said anything for what felt like an eternity but was only a few seconds. Bens jaw clenched as he understood what had happened.

“My god, I’m sorry Y/N,”

"I don't want to talk about it, him or her," You said looking anywhere but your friends. They were all as heartbroken and arguably just as angry as you were. You and Sam had been amazing together, always happy, even the fans were supportive, which is rare. You guys had also been together for 3 years, which is a long time. Well, only 2 years if you don't count the year that he had been sleeping with the other woman. Awkwardly the conversation shifted to work and new gigs. You and Joe sat sourly not joining in on the conversation. Your eyes scanned the bar in order to keep your mind from drifting. Unfortunately, that meant you caught a glimpse at the man responsible for your anger in the back. The nerve of him to go to your favorite pub days after angered you further.

"Excuse me," You said suddenly interrupting the current conversation and began climbing over Joe who was blocking you in the shared booth. Joe tried to object and apologize but you just grabbed his glass of beer and stormed over to the corner where your ex was, with his fiancee. The rest of your friends immediately scrambled out of their seats to follow and stop you before you could do anything stupid.

You hurled the contents of the glass at Sam, then deciding that wasn't enough you threw the glass at him too. It shattered on impact. The second after the glass left your hand Joe's arms hooked across your waist and almost violently pulled you back before you could do anything else. Ben stopped Sam from retaliating by placing a firm hand on his chest. It took everything in him not to deck the guy for himself. Hot angry tears streamed down your face as you said nothing. Your mascara was probably messed up but you could care less, you were too worried about what your friends would think. You were always the cool, calm and orderly person in fights and you rarely lashed out unless you were really upset. And you were clearly upset.

"I'm going home,"  You said quietly not bothering to wipe the tears away. You had become quite embarrassed of your actions and started walking out.

"I'll take her home," Joe added immediately after, running to catch up with you.

The rest just nodded understandingly, knowing Joe was the best person to make sure you were okay. There was no denying that you guys were close. But you had been with Sam for so long before you met so there were no jokes about you guys getting together. Well, some of the fans thought you guys would be cute but most were respectful of your current relationship. Lucy was the next closest but Lucy was stunned and almost as angry as you, Rami and Gwil both stepped in front of her so she couldn't get her own swing in. If she wasn't too preoccupied in getting revenge for you, she would have taken you home. But Joe was just as capable and would make sure you were okay, truly okay.

You still hadn't stopped crying by the time you were sitting on your apartment couch with Joe getting a glass of water from the kitchen.

"Y/N," he started, gently guiding your chin upwards so you would look at him. Your eyes were bloodshot which just broke his heart even more.

"I'm sorry I brought it up, I didn't know, or else I never would've asked," He breathed out searching for any emotion in your face.

"Joe," You said your voice barely above a whisper, causing him to lean closer.

"I'm sorry too, for being a mess and throwing your drink," you said looking down away from his gaze, your's ending on his lips, which moved slightly in trying to formulate a response.

"Y/n, god don't apologize for that," he laughed weakly his own gaze darting to your lips. Hesitation and anticipation filled his entire body as you both leaned closer. Waiting for some sort of sign.

"Don't apologize for anything, ever," Joe said breathlessly, looking up at you.

In an instant your lips were connected, tongues fighting for space. The kiss was messy, sloppy, and lust drive . Gasping for air briefly before returning. Your hands roamed each other's bodies like trying to find something in the dark. His tangled in your hair, cupping your chin. Yours found the collar of his jacket and pushed the jacket off desperately, pulling his hands from your hair. Stradling his lap your hands began working at the buttons of his shirt, fumbling slightly. Soft moans turned to loud ones as he grew hard under you.

"God, your so hard," You wined nipping at his ear.

You rolled your hips against his trying to give yourself some relief as. Joe groaned out in response. His hand yanking the zipper down and pulling your dress off with no hesitation. Thumbs pressing into your hips guiding yours and moving them faster. One hand slipped from your wait and over your clothed heat.

"Joe!" You gasped the sudden contact igniting your body, the familiar heat pooling between your legs.

"May I?" Joe asked making eye contact. You nodded and he slipped a finger in you. Then two. Slowly building up the pace, his thumb rolling back and forth on your bud providing even more pleasure than you could take. He could barely handle it either, his other hand fell from your waist and to his length, palming it with a sense of urgency.

"Joe, god, I'm going to come," You moaned out trying to hold back from coming undone.

"Can you wait two seconds? I want to be inside you?" He growled shifting you off of him so he could take off his jeans. He fumbled with the condom as the arousal almost blinded him.

"Joe, I - I need you - inside me - now" You wined as he lined himself up with your entrance. As soon as he was lined up his hips moved fast colliding with yours. Your nails dug into his back as he hit all the right spots. Your moans were loud and shaky, as were his. His head buried itself in your shoulder.

"Y/N," he panted in your ear, groaning as you arched your back in search of more friction. "Joe, I'm-" You tried to say before being cut off as you were more screaming his name out in pleasure. White heat filled your vision as you gripped onto his shoulders as he slammed into you harder and more desperate than before.

The sound of his name sent him over his own edge. With a final low moan, he was riding out his own sensation of pleasure. Gently he pulled out, discarding of the condom and cleaning up after the two of you.

"Stay?" You asked sheepishly partially redressing yourself, in his shirt.

"Y/N, we should probably talk about what just happened... not that I didn't enjoy it," He said gently walking back over to you, the lust in his eyes had been replaced by pure admiration.

"The only thing that matters is that this was by far the best break up sex I've ever had," You joked taking one of his hands in yours.

"Look, it probably wasn't the best idea, but we can worry about it in the morning, can we just have one night where we don't feel shitty about ourselves and life?" You argued after seeing he wasn't laughing as you had expected. So you gently started walking to your bedroom.

"So I remember you saying that this was the best sex you've ever had," Joe teased wrapping an arm around your waist lazily, once under the duvet.

"Break up sex, Mazzello, don't get ahead of yourself," you laughed looking up at him, smiling.

"Whatever, there's no one to prove that you didn't say that," he teased running a hand through his messed up hair, trying to tame it.

You just rolled your eyes at him and soon you were overtaken by exhaustion and sleep. It was the first night you hadn’t fallen asleep in sheer anger, and you could get used to it.

Joe didn't fall asleep right away, he spent a good part of his time awake contemplating what had just happened and where to going from there.

[themonkeycabal]

Slightly random but Hodgepodge request: the end of chapter 4 of Its Alright We'll Be Up All Night from the lady who was being followed's perspective. Just a wee snippet of how that wee interaction went down perhaps? Please.

Well, since you said please:

***

Izzy Taveres just wanted to get home. She was having one of those days — her shift at the restaurant ran over with a huge family party that ended in a brawl and a police raid. The train was late, she missed her bus, and now she had to walk because she couldn't justify paying for a cab for five blocks. All of which meant she was going to be even later, and the babysitter was going to charge her extra. And it just … ugh. Her feet hurt, her head hurt, her uniform smelled like sour wine and marinara sauce, and now she was going to have to take down the laundry before she could go to sleep and she really hoped she could find a few quarters in the couch cushions or the junk drawer. God, what a day.

Sighing softly, she trudged down the sidewalk. It was late enough that the streets were relatively quiet. A handful of cars, not many pedestrians. Which is why her heart jumped when she heard the footsteps start up behind her. Closing her eyes briefly, she took a deep breath, and then shook her head. She was being silly. The street was well lit, there may not have been much traffic, but there was *some*, and the neighborhood was a long way from desolate. Still, she pulled her bag a little closer to her body, and slipped a hand into the outer pocket where she had that can of gel pepper spray her sister gave her.

Her steps picked up, and so did her heart rate, as she crossed the eerie black void of a mid-block alley. The footsteps behind picked up with hers and her mouth went dry.

Izzy most definitely did not need this. She really, really did not need this. She could not afford this, absolutely not. She had just enough to get her and Mia through to the end of the next week, and then she'd get paid. If she lost tonight's tips, it would be so much harder. She'd probably have to ask her sister for another loan.

The footsteps got closer. Oh God, she hoped her tips was all they wanted. She had an eight-year old daughter, and while being a single mom was hard, going home to her kid made everything worth it. That's all she wanted, to go home to her daughter. Oh Lord, help her. Please help her.

She thought she felt fingers brush her back and a sharp tang of adrenaline and terror filled her mouth. Pulling out her pepper spray, she hunched her shoulders, and tried to be brave as she turned around to face her attacker. Except, she couldn't help but squeeze her eyes shut, which probably wouldn't help. However, before she got all the way around, she heard a weird yelp and a thud, and that presence behind her wasn't there anymore.

Prying open one eye, still hesitant, still afraid, she peeked towards the alley as a man in a black leather jacket stepped out dusting off his hands on his jeans. Another, much larger, man turned towards her and held out his hands, trying to show he was harmless. Except he really was huge and she almost straight up hit him with the pepper spray on instinct.

"Our pardon, miss; we didn't mean to alarm you," he said in a deep, accented voice.

Two more men followed behind the first pair, and Izzy backed away and clung, with a shaky hand, more tightly to her pepper spray. Despite the big guy's attempt to appear not threatening, it was late, dark, and she was out-numbered and terrified.

"Hi, I'm Steve," greeted one of the approaching men. The guy next to Steve turned off and murmured something to the man in the jacket and they both stepped into the alley.

"And I'm Thor," greeted the large man.

Wait …

"Thor?" Izzy repeated, feeling dazed from the still swirling churn of fear.

"Yes," the man grinned a broad smile that flashed in the dim light.

"And … Steve? You're not Steve Rogers, are you?" That could not be right. Not even a little bit. But the big guy was both really big and he had long hair and she'd seen plenty of pictures of Thor. And maybe Steve Rogers looked like, you know, Steve Rogers, but it was still kind of dark by the alley and hard to see clearly. Also her eyes were still kind of squinted. The city could really put a freaking light near the alley. Who designed this lighting? That was terrible and dangerous. She was sending somebody a scathing email when she got home; which, thank God, it looked like she actually would.

"I am," he said gently. Then he waved a hand at the other two who had reappeared form the alley. "And this is—"

"Clint," said the guy in the jacket. Then he thumped the back of his hand on the last man's shoulder and said, "Vasily."

"Stop calling me that," the last guy growled. He looked over at Izzy and hesitated a moment before he muttered, "James."

"Okay," Izzy said. She had no idea who Clint and James were supposed to be, but Captain America and Thor were enough to assure her that she was probably safe.

The fear and adrenaline started to drain, leaving her feeling shaky and a giving her a strange, hollow queasiness in the pit of her stomach.

She would NOT throw up in front of Captain America. She wouldn't do it. Mia would never, ever let her live that down. Actually, she wouldn't be telling Mia about 90% of this story, but her daughter would love to hear that Izzy met the Avengers. Or, two of them at least. Or maybe four? One of them could be the guy with the arrows, maybe the blond in the black jacket? Nobody ever got a good look at Hawkeye without his bow, so who could say? And the other guy, long, dark hair to below his chin, didn't look like Tony Stark for sure, and it's not like Tony Stark would introduce himself as James. So … Hulk? What did Hulk look like when he wasn't green? Did anybody know? Except Hulk didn't have long hair. Except, Hulk was also ginormous and green. And if he could turn big and green, maybe his hair changed length, too?

"Ma'am?"

Oh, Steve Rogers was talking to her while she was stuck in her weird post-terror Avengers spiral. "What? Sorry, I was … just trying to get my head together."

"We were wondering if you'd mind if we walked you home?"

"Uh," she hesitated. Yes, she would like four Avengers to walk her home. Duh. But, also, she was a confident woman with a can of pepper spray who wasn't afraid of the streets (except when she was, because somebody had to put a light on that alley and she would make sure it was done if she had to personally shout at every member of the neighborhood council). "It's not far. You don't have to. I appreciate you … uh, doing whatever it was you did? Was there a mugger? Because I thought— well, I thought I heard somebody but then it was just you? But …"

James and Clint cast quick looks into the alley and shrugged. Steve didn't turn around but his smile looked a little tight. Thor just grinned some more. There was totally a mugger. Though, the mugger was probably currently unconscious or tied up or something. Maybe both. Served him right.

"It's no bother," Thor said. "We were on our way home, as well. We can walk together, as friends."

"It's really fine. I'm fine. Thank you. Besides, don't you live in Manhattan?" Yes, yes, please good-looking Avengers, walk her home. Also, stop trying to tell them not to, mouth. God.

"Our friend," Thor gestured to James, "is opening a tavern in the area. We were walking back from … dinner?" He glanced at Steve, who nodded back. "Yes, dinner. We had hotdogs. And ice cream."

"But not together," Clint offered.

Thor nodded. "Because that would be disgusting."

"Right," Clint agreed, then he frowned. "Although…"

"There was the jalapeño ice cream," Thor murmured back at him.

"Mother of God," James muttered and rubbed at his face with a gloved hand.

Why did he have a glove on? It was like 80 degrees out. And only one glove at that. What was he? Michael Jackson? Oh, maybe that wasn't nice. Maybe he had a problem with his hand. And he was embarrassed by scars or something? Or if he was Hulk, maybe one arm was always green? Wow, Izzy, how insensitive.

Wait … he was opening a tavern in the area? Maybe there'd be jobs. It would be amazing to get a decent job closer to home. Actually, she'd love to move out of the area, because it was getting more and more expensive every day, but her apartment was rent controlled and they'd have to cart out her rotting corpse before she gave that up — aside from their daughter, it was the only good thing her ex-husband The Bum ever gave her before he ditched them to go 'find himself' in Jersey. Plus, Mia's school was close and it was a good one. But, anyway …

"Well, thank you again, but I need to get home," Izzy said, and gave them a wave as she turned to head back up the street.

Steve and Thor fell in beside her. She couldn't bring herself to try to shoo them off again. Besides, AVENGERS! The other two walked behind them.

"You know, I think your bar needs a theme," Clint said.

"What do you mean?"

"Something to get people in the door," Clint explained. "Hey! You know what's due to come back? Tiki bars!"

"What's a tiki bar?" James asked sounding like he didn't want to ask but couldn't stop himself from asking.

"They're awesome. I'll show you."

Izzy had some big doubts about the long-term appeal of a tiki bar. The novelty would turn to tacky really quick. And were they ever really 'in'? She glanced over her shoulder and saw them both on their phones.

James snorted a laugh and tilted his phone's screen towards Clint so he could read it. "Darcy says, 'tell Clint to shut up.' Shut up, Clint."

Clint glowered and shoved his phone back in his pocket; there would be no tiki bar. "Darcy's no fun. She used to be fun, but then she started hanging out with you and her fun level cratered."

"You could have Thursday specials," Thor suggested brightly. "I'll bring you a few casks of Asgardian ales. There are several I think you'll like, though you'll have to mix them with something else. They're far too strong for you mortals. But there are no finer brews in any realm." Thor looked at Izzy and winked. "Thursday is named after me, you know. Thor's day."

That was so weird. She knew he was Thor, but somehow it didn't hit her that he was THE Thor. Or, she knew that, but it wasn't real until he said that, and that mean that he was like hundreds of years old. Or thousands? So weird. "I … remember that from school, I think."

Thor chuckled, mostly to himself. "Ah, Midgard. I love this place."

"Uh, where is the bar going to be?" Izzy asked, changing the subject to one her brain could actually wrap itself around.

Clint waved a hand towards the other side of the street. "You know that big hole in the ground on Havermayer?"

"By the bridge, yeah. Oh, there?" That was disappointing, it was a hole in the ground, and holes in the ground weren't anywhere near being a bar. Plus, Izzy didn't work construction. Well, not yet. If the pay was good, she just might. Also, if they'd hire her without her having any experience. But, she was a hard worker and she'd learn. She could sling concrete. Maybe. She was a hair under 5'1", but that couldn't be disqualifying, could it?

James looked reluctant to talk in general, but he nodded and shrugged at the same time like he was talking and trying to be uninterested at the same time. He wasn't rude or anything, just not very present. "The building on the corner."

"Where the Rosebud Family Restaurant used to be," Izzy said, feeling relieved. Not the hole in the ground! Then she scrunched up her nose and made a 'blah' face. "That place was terrible. I don't know how it lasted so long, it was open thirty years. I think I found cigarette ashes in my hashbrowns once."

"Gross," Cling said with a laugh.

Even James chuckled a little. "We won't serve hashbrowns."

This caught Clint's attention again and he asked, "What will you serve? You know what I miss?"

"I don't care what you miss," James said in a flat voice as he glanced away, his eyes scanning the street restlessly. Looking for trouble? Or looking to escape?

"Bratwurst," Clint said, ignoring him. "The hotdogs tonight reminded me. They were okay, but nobody does good brats here. You'd think maybe somebody would, but no. It's a Goddamned crime."

James pursed his lips and looked up at the sky and Izzy couldn't tell if he was thinking about it, or thinking about strangling Clint. "Maybe."

"I know a place in Iowa," Clint pressed, as if he sensed weakness and was going to take advantage. "They sell all sorts of sausage. German family, they've been making them for like a hundred something years. I worked in their warehouse over one winter when I was a kid. I got paid in liverwurst. Awesome job."

"Remember Mr. Sawicki with the hotdog cart, Buck?" Steve asked with a wistful sort of laugh. "He had the best franks in the city, I haven't found any that taste as good."

"I remember," James said quietly. He glanced at Clint, who gave him a triumphant little smirk.

"My guy does awesome frankfurters," Clint confirmed.

With a sigh, giving in, James nodded. "Give Darcy the number."

"My daughter would eat hotdogs for every meal if I let her," Izzy said, chatting with her new Avengers friends, as one does. Friends who were opening a bar and maybe she'd get a job. No! She wasn't going to try to leverage getting nearly mugged into a job. But, they did bring it up.

Steve's face brightened. "You've got a daughter? How old?"

"Eight," Izzy said smiling back. "And if you stick those hotdogs in a disgusting cornbread mess and fry it, you'll have her loyalty forever."

"I love corndogs," Clint said. Izzy didn't know any of them really, but somehow the idea that Clint — or Hawkeye, if that's who we was — loved corndogs didn't surprise her one bit. "We had some good ones back in the circus. Well, if Cookie remembered to change the oil. Sometimes he didn't for a few days." Clint grimaced and looked away.

The circus?

"It'll be a while," James said, looking thoughtfully across the street. "We just got the place last week. Now we've got to gut it. But Darcy wants to strip the brick off the whole building."

Steve nodded. "It's not that bad, but it doesn't fit."

"Not bad?" Clint echoed, his face twisted in disbelief. "It's horrible. The worst of the 70s. You guys are lucky you missed the 70s. I mostly missed them, but I saw the reruns. That was enough."

Izzy knew the building, it was dingy yellow brick and it looked like a horrible, soulless, government box. It was big and yellow and definitely didn't fit with some of the older brick in the neighborhood. "How do you strip brick?" She asked. "Sand blast it?"

James shook his head. "I guess they have to take this off all the way down to the framing."

"That's a lot," Izzy murmured. It would be a looooong time before that bar opened.

"We'll start in a couple days," James told her.  "But, yeah, there's a lot to do. Probably won't open until the first of next year."

Izzy tried not to pout, and then started thinking about transitioning into construction work again. Being able to walk to work would be a dream come true.

Steve hummed quietly and gave the other man a sympathetic glance. "Kind of rotten timing — starting up just when Darcy's going out of town."

James ran his hand over his face and sighed. "Fur— uh, Nick will be onsite supervising, at least at the start."

"Nick?" Thor asked. "As in …" he covered one eye with his hand and gave James a leading look. "I thought he was dead."

James dropped his head and looked uncomfortable and ashamed, and like he wanted to go back and hide in the alley with the mugger.

Izzy frowned. Except, maybe she didn't want to know. There was drama and then there was probably Godly and Avengers-level drama that she was maybe better off not knowing about. She was curious, it would make for damned fine gossip, but also, might get her black-bagged and tossed in a secret prison somewhere. She had a daughter who needed her. Curiosity wasn't worth the risk.

Clint jumped in and gave them all a sharp look, before quickly sliding his eyes to Izzy and then back to Thor. "You're thinking of our other friend Nick."

"Oh," Thor said and then he seemed to clue into what they were talking about. Good for him; Izzy was lost. "Our other friend Nick. Unlike this Nick, who is not dead. Nick … Hair … son. Yes, Nick Hairson. Harrison. Such a … magnificent head of hair. Not as magnificent as my own, of course, but very nice."

They were crossing under a streetlight, but it was still not exactly day time bright, so Izzy couldn't be sure, but it looked like a little bit of Thor himself died inside when he said all that. The Avengers were horrible liars. Which, she supposed, is what you'd hope for from heroes and role models. And, as a regular person, it was nice to know that even the Avengers could be really bad at something. It balanced the universe.

Izzy saw the lights over her building's front entrance and let out a slow, quiet breath. She made it. With help, but she made it. This long, horrible day that almost went so much worse, but somehow ended up just kind of strange, was almost over. She still had to do laundry, which sucked, and pay the babysitter, which also kind of sucked. But, she made it home safely.

"This is me," she said, waving towards the front doors. "Thank you for walking with me. I appreciate it."

"Of course," Steve said, sticking his hand out for her to shake. "I'm sorry, I don't think we ever asked for your name."

"Izzy Taveres."

"It was nice meeting you, Ms. Taveres."

Steve gave her hand a friendly shake, and then Thor was next, wrapping his giant paw around her little hand. She felt like a toddler next to him. Good lord, he was huge.

"A pleasure, miss."

"Oh, hey," Steve said, as she was now shaking Clint's hand. "What's your daughter's name? I've got something for her." And he pulled a trading card out of his wallet. She saw the Avengers 'A' and his picture in uniform.

James made a sound like a stifled laugh. "You carry around Captain America cards?"

Steve firmed up his jaw and gave the other man a flat look. "Sometimes there's kids."

"Her name's Mia," Izzy said and, okay, today mostly sucked, but the look on Mia's face when she gave her the card would be worth it all. The kid was going to light up like a Christmas tree. It was very thoughtful of him to carry them around, James. Don't be a jerk. Which she, of course, didn't say out loud; she was still hoping for that job.

Steve nodded and took a pen out of his jacket and carefully wrote 'To My Friend Mia' and then his name across the card.

"Now me," said Thor, taking the card and signing his own name. Next he handed it to Clint, who signed it 'Hawkeye' with an arrow as the crossbar on the "H".

James waved his hand, "I'm not one of you jokers." Ah, okay, he wasn't the Hulk. James also didn't shake Izzy's hand, and he hung back away from them a bit, part of the group but also still a little uncomfortable about it. He didn't ignore her, though, and he dipped his head at her in a little bow and offered a little smile. "Ma'am."

Izzy carefully took the card from Clint and waved it in the air to dry the ink so it wouldn't smear. "Well, thanks again guys. Mia will love this."

"Sure thing," Steve said. "Have a nice evening."

There were a trio of additional goodbyes and then the four men started back down the street. Thor's laughter echoed against the buildings and at one point James shoved Clint into the street and Steve yanked him back onto the sidewalk.

Taking out her keys, Izzy unlocked the security door, and trudged up the stairs, her exhaustion on hold as she planned out the carefully edited, but still exciting story she'd tell about how Mom Met the Avengers.

Izzy looked down at the card in her hand and laughed. The Avengers. What a crazy night.

##