#jij verliest fic
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ravenbrenna09 · 4 years ago
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i don’t know if i made a text post about it or just said it in the server. 
but, i would love to see the first shot hit Jana, then Zoë, and then Robbe (like how it hit Jana than Zoënne in s3) before moving towards Yasmina only for her to shake her head or hit away or say “no, no, not yet” (if it’s not her season) before landing on the actual main. i think it would just be amazing if they got a little meta with it.
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Can you recommend some of your favourite Sobbe fics/ao3 authors?
I have loved so many fics, omg. But I will be honest, I haven’t read a lot of recent ones bc I’ve been writing (I’d meant to read a whole bunch after I finished “Color of Love,” but “I Want it All” wouldn’t leave me alone…so I started it almost right away, which meant no reading 😞). I kind of live in my own au until I’m done bc I’m afraid of either getting distracted or confused by another characterization or plot (I get so drawn into what I read I can’t get it out of my head, which doesn’t work well when I’m writing). I’ve actually been reading Merthur fics recently bc they don’t conflict in my mind.
With that being said, here we go:
Two authors I will read no matter the ship or fandom are @peaceoutofthepieces (same on Ao3) and @azozzoni (silver_etoile on Ao3). They are probably why I’m on Tumblr in the first place, though for wtfock they predominantly write VDS, some Sobbe.
Peaceoutofthepieces’s social media aus are my favorite. Some Sobbe ones: The Stars Look Very Different  and When I Live my Dream . On Ao3, I loved Coffee and Croques.
Azozzoni has a lot on Ao3, a few Sobbe, but there’s more Sobbe here on tumblr. Masterlist
@kartoffelblume wrote two of my favorites: It Calls Me on and On Across the Universe (so good and so original, loved it so much) and And the Stars Look Very Different Today (a skiing story; I also love the companion VDS fic that goes with this one)
Swimmer Sander by @bijvoorbeeldja is a favorite. The link is to a masterlist, and I’ve read everything on it. Highly recommend (now I want to reread them all...)
Instagram Love series by Ravenbrenna09 (@sincerelyyousmina). ALL of her fics are so good. Jij Verliest is also a favorite.
Run and Score by aurorawinds. Also the summer camp one and the flower shop one and the acting one. Look at the whole list.
Drie by Skamtrash. It is E, but it’s the first dad fic I ever read. Love it. Then we got a second chapter!! 
I am always excited for a Five out of Thirty update. It’s amazing and a WIP.
My to-read list is soooooo long. Here are a few I can’t wait to read (and please feel free to recommend some to me!!):
Paint me in Trust by themoongirl (update: LOVED it, super fun!)
Hair’be and the piano/bookstore one and the writer!Sander one by @thenerd10 (update: read them ALL and loved them, and Cat’s new ones are good too!)
Torn Between Two by @sobbefairytales
That Burnt out Spot by @maade-of-stardust
Running With The Wolves (Wildfire Burning In My Lungs) by @art3misjade (update: I have a few recent chapters to catch up on, but I’ve enjoyed it so much!)
I will admit I read a broad spectrum of fics and crackships, so these are my favorite Sobbe ones. I also read Merthur, Elippo, VDS, Buddie, Evak, some Elu, and Nicotino. Sobbe is just my favorite. (Malec is my other favorite, but for some reason I don’t read shadowhunters fics—apparently I write crossovers instead; that and I guess I’m happy with what canon has to offer).
I hope there’s something on this list you haven’t seen or read before, and if I tagged you, I hope you don’t mind. All it means is that I think you’re amazing! Thank you for your stories and your wonderful imaginations!! I credit Ao3 for my sanity, especially during quarantine.
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abittersweetsongforyou · 4 years ago
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wtfock fic recs part 1
okay so some points
im sorry about the spacing but i cant be bothered to fix it, im sorry if i missed anything and i hope this was helpful
the classics (v popular, many kudos)
I Didn't Want To Share My Boyfriend Anymore by teen_content_queen So He's Happy by Masterless rescue my heart by themoongirl go and hold that lightning by themoongirl i've learned to lose you (can't afford to) by petitepeach and my love life waits by petitepeach Truth by MsAshlyjudd8 Carry You by clarecas Are You Jealous Or Are You Sulking? by teen_content_queen Sick Day by teen_content_queen can i try again? by lamourestout Floating in a most peculiar way by skamsnake rotten work by aholynight run and score by aurorawinds
Unattainable by sincerelysobbe
canon divergence/missing scenes/fix-its
woensdag 21:21 (redux) by eliottamoureux - the post first kiss that sander deserved living life and loving boys by TheGlassesPredicament - post hate crime, milan and our boys :( but :) all we can do is keep breathing by aletterinthenameofsanity - sander is homeless explanation Bringing A Boy Home by ForeverInIdle - Sander takes Robbe to meet his mother watch myself watchin' you by vitane - robbes crush on sander developing during the beach trip hey wolf, there's lions in here (hey wold, just see there's no fear) by tokyometropolis(mesohorany) - sanders perspective of ohn Rebel Rebel by skamsnake - sanders perspective on trying to get robbe to fall in love with him on the beach trip In which Sander and Robbe emigrate from Robbe's bedroom by orphan_account zaterdag 22:02 by wasteourdaysdreaming - sander wants to be with robbe diminuendo by noobishere - sander at the flatshare after robbe leaves for his exam and I know what you're feeling ('cause I feel it as well) by nothingbutniall - kissing in the tunnel a warning sign by themoongirl - sanders perspective after he ran out of the hotel reunited by themoongirl - reimagined ohn you don't even know who i am by lamourestout - robbe and sander getting to know each other take these broken wings and learn to fly by ladypeaceful - the hate crime gonna build you up (gonna help you believe, honey) by ladypeaceful - robbe takes sander to meet his mama
the broers
being assholes fucking asshole. by richietrashmouthtozier - jens is a dick and robbe is tired and sad The Familiar, Foreign, or Both by TOZ1ER - robbe grew apart from the broers by then he runs into them in the supermarket oké, so? by severegas4 - moyo is a dick being mostly good friends jahsdaj by the way by TheGlassesPredicament - robbe has been dating sander and is tired of hiding it Now I'm In It by cicelsticks - sander on a broers holiday, there's only one bed, and pining Low Volume by clubstocrews23 - sander is down but robbe is there for him a teenage manual on breathing by merengue - robbe comes out to jens, this one is seriously so good Fun Get Away by Masterless - jens doesnt like sander but he's a good friend
wtFOCK - Moyo season 4 by Createdforyou - screenplay style moyo season 4 written by some lovely people and very well done, even if screenplay isn't your thing i highly suggest trying it
romcom type aus that make my heart all fuzzy
Croissants by bruisingknees - sander works at a bakery, robbe is a customer, flirting ensues its an unrequited love by eggsntoast - sander works at a museum and robbe keeps visiting The finest of the meadow by allforyoumylove - two boys meet in a meadow Coffee and Croques by peaceoutofthepieces - barista!sander and barista!eliott we love to see it
My hand around the base of your holy neck by allforyoumylove - friends with benefits and we all know how that turns out
Come closer I'll give you all my love by Createdforyou - fake dating au babyyy
Christmas Dreams by Createdforyou - they're coworkers and its christmas! tell me that doesnt scream romcom
careless in its choosing by noobishere - they meet in a club its very cute
life was a willow and it bent right to your wind by nbrook - friends to lovers and its christmas and robbes boyfriend sucks
just friends by sincerelysobbe - friends with benefits with much pining
But darling, love is passing by by Createdforyou - barista!sander i mean who doesnt love barista!sander and strangers to friends to lovers
fun and funky aus that just hit
Let's Dance by msleviss- Sander is a DJ we love to see it our camp of dreams by aurorawinds - a summer camp au Falling For You by silver_etoile - soccer au babyyyyy Seek Only Love by iwritetropesnottragedies(recklesslee) - Sander goes to Robbe's highschool Jij Verliest by sincerelysobbe - robbe is a streamer and he deserves a nice boyfriend aka sander the blood of both is my limbo by tokyometropolis(mesohorany) - robbe is an angel and sander is a demon its fucking awesome i'm slowly falling away. by fockinglevendcliche - enemies to lovers paint me in trust by themoongirl - vampire!sander that's all u need to know Pizza Time by Quirlequast - robbe cant tell if pizza deliveryboy sander is flirting with him we don't gotta be discreet by noobishere - robbe and sander fake date but theyre actually really dating, aaron is just an idiot
flower moon by cicelsticks - hogwarts au v cute
love me while your wrists are bound by alsjeblieft - siren!sander is fucking awesome this one also has under 100 kudos and thats just wrong
masterpiece by sincerelysobbe - soulmate au babyyyy
For Real by peaceoutofthepieces - fake dating at christmas time what could be better
everything all at once by whalefairyfandom - robbe is a barista and sander is his coworker britts 'asshole' ex-boyfriend
love potion no.9 by thekardemomme - hogwarts au and its amortentia day
the blind date bomb by thekardemomme - robbe and sander on a blind date and it goes very well
I See You When You Run From The Light (within your eyes) by womenstan - sander is blind and robbe is an idiot but itll be okay eventually bsadhajshd
carry me through this sleeping city by aurorawinds - imo this is some of aurorawinds best work, they're neighbours and coworkers and v cute
the sports we play by dottori - this one was very fun and cute although i only vaguely know of the foxhole court it was still very enjoyable so even if you dont know the reference read it anyway
makes me feel things i cant explain
vrijdag 21:37 by wasteourdaysdreaming - the same party from told from different perspectives (one of my all time fucking favourites fr) to build a home by aguamarina - sander has a sister and she's the sweetest thing
you know i'm always at your shoulder (take your heart out of its holster) by wafflesofdoom - this is unfinished but so so worth the read anyway especially because the chapters kind of function as one-shots
hop in the corolla by noobishere - god this fic is everything to me like them on a trip together, in love, happy, being young, fuck its so wonderful
A New Sunday Feeling by foxsake5 - they're in love and horny and v sweet
Fizzy Colas by foxsake5 - its boys night out but robbe and sander are in love
in this universe by dottori - fluff fluff fluff my little heart
Suns Set Before They Rise by writingbuzz - boyfriends waking up together
lovers never lose by dottori - this has to be one of my all time favourites, perfectly cheesy i love it sm
Taking pictures of you as the light came through by allforyoumylove - this one is steamy so be warned but so tender and sweet
My hand around the base of your holy neck by allforyoumylove - friends with benefits but they're in love and its beautiful
Pull Me from the Dark by TheOceanIsMyInkwell - wow i mean wow, they both have issues and they're still learning and trying and they love each other even though they're sad and a bit broken.
Always mine, always yours by allforyoumylove - they go to a wedding and get engaged and its romantic as fuck and im crying
one through seven by dottori - robbe and sander are in love
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nbrook29 · 4 years ago
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💞 My ultimate Sobbe fic recs 💞
Recently, I have gone through Robbe/Sander tag on ao3 and I decided to compose a list of fics that are absolute gems for me. A few disclaimers first:
✔ I didn’t include works in progress (WIPs), however I did include fics that are only on tumblr
✔ the order of the fics below is random
✔ this is the list of my personal favorites so if your favorite fic is not on the list it doesn’t mean it’s bad or that I consider it bad - we just vibe with different things :)
✔ if there’s a fic on this list that you decided to give a shot and loved it, please remember about leaving a comment under it to let the author know that
✔ I’ve been trying to add the “read more” thingy but it doesn’t show, I’m sorry, I know long posts are annoying af
under 1k
we’re keeping it simple by noobishere | G
Summary: Sander comes over unannounced and attacks Robbe’s very person (a.k.a the one where Sander teases Robbe on Eenvoud)
This is a guaranteed mood lifter. It’s short, sweet, to the point, and oh so funny. The banter. And I’d die to see that in the show. 
1k - 5k
Fizzy Colas by Foxsake5 | M
Summary: Let’s say this is a clip (hopefully not as short as the standard 1:40 of this season) with Sander as the main on a ‘bros night out’ 🍻
This author is my queen/king alright? They take a simple idea and turn it into the most lovely/cute/soft story. This fic is exactly that. Sobbe’s chemistry here is out of this world and the banter is to die for.
high for this by flowersmaze (@bowieskam) | G
Summary: In which Sander remains a Flirt™ and in love with Robbe even when he can’t feel his face after a medical procedure
The summary says it all. Loopy Sander is the cutest and funniest thing.
Pull Me from the Dark by TheOceanIsMyInkwell (@theoceanismyinkwell) | T
Summary: Sander discovers that Robbe has recently been prescribed antidepressants, and Robbe opens up to him about the night he almost stepped off the bridge. Only love will show how much they’ve grown and pull them through.
This time, the boys talk about Robbe’s mental state which is unusual in fics. This oneshot is communication 101. And this line is just 👌🏻 “But after the dust of their first kiss and their first vows of commitment settled around them, Robbe took a look at the space in which he floated and realized, somewhere along the line, that finding the love of your life doesn’t fix you.”
diminuendo by noobishere
Summary: Waking up feels like an ordeal. His eyes are heavy, arms a dead weight, he isn’t sure if his limbs are even in the right places, but eventually, Sander comes to. (a.k.a a take on how Sander fairs after Robbe left for school.)
Sander’s POV after Dinsdag 7:27. It’s a great insight into his headspace during that time. This could be a scene in the show because it fits so well.
you’re wonder under summer sky by nothingbutniall | M
Summary: Two city boys go camping. What could go wrong? (Everything, apparently.)
Those boys are a chaotic mess okay? They’re such dorks. This fic has the best kind of grumpiness there is and sobbe is written so in character here.
if we can make it through december (maybe we’ll make it through forever) by nothingbutniall | G
Summary: Robbe and Sander at the Christmas market.
Can you imagine those two dorks at the Christmas market? Well you don’t have to anymore because this fic is everything you need and more. And this line “Couldn’t,” Sander sulks. “You can’t hold hands properly with mittens on.” makes me go all gooey inside every.single.time 😍
A New Sunday Feeling by Foxsake5 | M
Summary:  Sander before Robbe: Ugh, Sundays 😒 Sander after Robbe: 😏🥺🥰
The way this author writes sobbe’s intimate moments is just pure talent. They have such way with words.
memories painted with much brighter ink by nothingbutniall | G
Summary: Saint Nicholas is the perfect excuse for an evening of gifts and banter with the flatshare. (Basically all five of them being cute together, and then Robbe and Sander being cute with just the two of them.)
This is the perfect fic for an October evening, when Christmas is just around the corner and you’ve just made yourself a cup of coffee and want to read some heart-warming well-written christmassy fluff. 
5k - 10k
Let’s Dance by msleviss (@sander-driesen) | G
Summary: Robbe and his friends go to a club to check out Amber’s DJ cousin.
THIS PERSON PREDICTED DJ SANDER Y’ALL. And Robbe thirsts over him. And there is an instant connection. And Robbe dances. And it’s so cute.
video phone by tokyometropolis (@luludemauryyy) | E
Summary: AKA OH MY GOD, THEY WERE QUARANTINED…except not together, because life is cruel. Thankfully it’s 2020 and when Robbe has an…er…intense dream about Sander in the middle of the night, all he has to do is press one button and Facetime him about it. Thing is…sometimes FaceTiming isn’t enough.
Look. I get that smut fics are not everyone’s cup of tea. And that’s totally fine. But. If you’re looking for a well-written smut that’s in character and where you can feel the love between the characters, this is it. Hands down. Sorry not sorry 💁🏼‍♀️
10k - 20k
our camp of dreams by robbesanderx (@robbesdriesen) | M
Summary: a summer camp!AU where robbe and sander are both co-counselors
Misunderstandings lead to pining. Teenage angst at its finest. I really like camp stories, it’s my thing.
Falling For You by silver_etoile (@azozzoni) | T
Summary: Robbe only knows one thing about football: that Sander Dreisen is the hottest player on the FC Utrecht team. When Jens drags him to a match, the last thing Robbe expects is to meet someone so perfect, and it’s all he can do not to mess it up, but will he succeed?
Sobbe in a different setting with a bit different dynamic yet still having that special something. It’s a nicely written story of the development of their relationship, first meeting, falling in love, ups and down, all the best things in fics. And Sander as a soccer player is a pretty 🔥 concept (and I think Robbe agrees).
This isn’t our first time around by noobishere | E
Summary: One moment they are in the kitchen of their shared apartment, the next, they’re in this strange but familiar room.(a.k.a the au in which they accidentally go hopping through multiple universes)
The universe takes matters into their own hands and shows those silly boys that they are meant to be. Sign me up for the ride.
Coffee and Croques by peaceoutofthepieces (@peaceoutofthepieces) | G
Summary: Sander works at the on-campus coffee shop with Eliott, and he might just have a crush on the cute boy in the brown coat.
I’m a sucker for coffeshop fics. There is just something so good about them. This one is the coffeshop!AU that sobbe deserves. Oh the pining, and the secretive looks, the silly boys, and a pinch of Elu. Me likey ☕
The finest of the meadow by allforyoumylove | M
Summary: The universe brings two lonely boys together in a flowering meadow. They fall for each other fast and hard among delicate daisies, warm summer breezes, and shooting stars.
This is magical. My comment on the work was “So soft, so beautiful, so THEM, ugh.” and I MEANT that. This is just the right amount of sweetness. This is a must read. I’m not messing around. 
two side of the same coin series by MajorAccent (@acespaceacepilot) | E
Summary: the valleys and mountains of sander’s bpd
How the boys handle Sander’s ups and downs. Robbe being the best boyfriend ever. I love how good he is for Sander, being there for him, not treating him like a baby, and not controlling him. How much he tries to make it at least a little bit easier for him. If you don’t want to read explicit stories, at least give the first part a try since it’s not E rated. 
Zaterdag 9:58 by Foxsake5 | M
Summary: What happened after the croissants dropped to the floor 🥐🤭💕
I meant it when I said Foxsake5 has great way with words. Every single piece of theirs is just “chef’s kiss”. This fic is a definition of a domestic fic. Oh, and it happened. Totally. It’s my headcanon now.
its an unrequited love by eggsntoast | G
Summary: Sander works part-time at a museum every Sunday. Robbe is a frequent visitor.
A Sander POV fic. I was sold from the beginning. The development of their relationship here is so cute, and they’re being so stupid with their pining instead of just talking to each other and you just want to shake them but at the same time you’re rooting for them so hard. Oh and did I mention pining?
20k+
Jij Verliest series by ravenbrenna09 (@djsander) | M
Summary: For the past three months, Robbe’s life—and what it once was—had been stripped away and rearranged. Now, if anything, his life had become a bit repetitive: homework, stream, ignore Thomas’s Instagram, repeat. But one Friday evening, Robbe meets a hurricane in the form of a platinum-haired tattoo artist who just might show him everything that he’s been missing.
This is a long series okay? But oh so worth it. It’s captivating and you don’t want to stop until you finish. And once you finish you’re sad it’s over even though you’ve just spent 8 fucking hours reading it. It’s amazing. But you probably know that because it’s quite popular (rightfully so). The best thing is that you expect it to go bad halfway through because it’s difficult to keep the quality on the same level in a fic that long. But it doesn’t.
Visitations by lucidpantone (@lucidpantone) | E
Summary: Does Robbe and Sander’s relationship survive into adulthood. This fic takes place in two simultaneously timelines: the past and the present.The present occurs in one entire day. Both timelines are completely out of chronological order. Everything is in clips.You can be dropped in at anytime of the day in any timeline. So clip by clip you will need to piece together what happen to Sander & Robbe and why the present looks the way it does and what happened in the past that got them there.This love story is a journey. So be prepared.In the words of one of our Even’s. It’s a complicated love story between complicated people.
This is not a regular fic. The author put so much thought into it, there are so many gems, so many little things that you have to pay attention to because it.all.matters. And there is not one interpretation. Don’t you just love when a story forces you to think and use your brain? Cause I do. Not gonna lie: this story hurts, and like the author says themselves, it’s a journey. But oh my god get in because it’s amazing. And the ending is just sjsjsjsjsddhdhsdsgdsg 🤯
the night we met by themoongirl (@dearsander) | T
Summary: Robbe Ijzermans has a brain that won’t let him sleep, a chest that feels far too heavy and thoughts that never stop.During his first year of college he meets Sander Driesen. Robbe finds what he never went looking for.
A college AU. This fic is a journey of pain and fluff and humor. It has awesome friendships. And sobbe falling in love. And liminal spaces. I read it a while ago so I don’t remember it as well as the others but you know what? I still remember that it was great and I’m lowkey happy I don’t remember it that well because now I can go and read it again. 
The Stars Look Very Different by @peaceoutofthepieces 
Summary: Robbe is bored. He’s bored of listening to his friends talking about girls, and his other friends making out, and no one ever doing anything. He’s tired of having to put in all the work, of making his own fun. He’s tired of feeling nothing so he doesn’t have to feel like nothing. His party stunts are pushing the limit, his thrill seeking beginning to worry even his friends, and his carelessness is toeing the line of dangerous.
He’s a little tired of being ‘dangerous’, too.
Sander may or may not have a crush on the older boy with the apparent death wish. He wouldn’t mind a little danger.
Once I started reading this fic, each day I was waiting for an update at the edge of my seat which was a feeling I expected from s4 that did not deliver. TSLVD definitely delivered. My favorite sobbe social media AU
Ziggy Stardust Series by skamsnake (@skamsnake) | M/E
A collection of fics taking place throughout the season. Most of them are E rated so be aware of that but it’s a really cool mixture of fluff and spice *fans myself*
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happilyinsane · 4 years ago
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hello! i was wondering: do you have any fanfiction recommendations? for sobbe 🥰
Hi anon. This is my favorite question of all time and no one has ever asked me this. So thank you for asking me this. I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS. 
So lets see, 
Money is (not) everything by @/jxoxsxsxi is an amazing fic. With loads of fluff and drama and lil bit of angst. The story of posh boy Sander and normal teenage boy Robbe. You will love this one.
Jij Verliest and Unattainable by @/djsander are two of my fav fics. Unattainable was one of the first fics i ever read and I instantly got hooked. so I would highly recommend this one. Same with Jij Verliest. I absolutely love this fic. Sobbe are so soft and caring. *whispers* also, Sander has tattoos in this fic.. hehe. So no further explanation needed. She also has this Social Media AU- Behind the Camera if you wanna check that one out too.
When I tell you that you have to read every fic written by @/robbesdriesen, I really really mean it. YOU CANNOT MISS ANY OF IT. She is such an amazing writer. I am sorry but I just cant pick one. I will also link you to her masterlist, please go and read, you will love it. Also, she is so soft and kindest of all.
Another amazing writer @/vearthling. Their writing is out of this world. Its really really hard to pick one fic written by them. But if I really had to.. I would pick drie and besotted with your love. I have re read them soo many times, I cant even count. But honestly go read all of their work here and they write such good drabbles. it always makes my day 100 times better. 
Another one is just a cute fluffy Robbe’s birthday fic- the birthday (boy) of his dreams by @/robinscurls. its all very romantic and giddy and soft and very much in love Sobbe. Also ruin me is phenomenal (WIP). Go read that too. Lil bit of angst but we get flirting and fluff. 
purple lips (underwater) and in this universe by @/croissenne is everything you could wish for in a Sobbe fic. In this universe is my personal fav. I remember reading it while my class was going on and my professor kicked me out but I kept reading it anyway. Its such an amazing fic soo many kisses and loads of fluff and *whispers* some mature stuff.. hehe.
To the one I love : fuck you by @/hopelessromanticvirgo is another awesome masterpiece. Mind you, it has a lot of angst but its pretty awesome. And ofc they are Sobbe.. so there is kissing and softness and fluff. Its one of my fav fics, ngl. I read it a lot. She also has these amazing Social Media AUs which you should definitely check out. Her stories are so different and out of the box. She really is an amazing writer.
Zaterdag 09:58 by @/foxsake5 READ THIS ONE PLEASE! ITS THE BEST THING EVER! ITS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL!
Another king/queen of Sobbe fics is allforyoumylove (idk their tumblr.) Go and read each and every fic they have ever written. please! oh my god, I don't have any words. their writing is beautiful and soft and you just fall in love with Sobbe all over again!
Remember my name (WIP) by @/sobbefairytales is my new obsession. So read this one too. Its too exciting. I absolutely love it.
Last but definitely not the least, our very own @/ayellowcurtain. She is a sobbe fic producing machine. She is so incredible and her writing is soo good. Godd!! The talent she holds. All her sobbe fics are here and here . CHECK HER OUT. GOD I LOVE HER.
I do have alot more. But its getting too long. So.. these are my top fav <3
I hope this helped.
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sincerelyravens · 4 years ago
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WIP Wednesday
based on this image
However, despite the sadness Jana felt whenever she thought of Beauxbatons and her wishes that she had never left her friends, there was something equally as thrilling and magical about being at Hogwarts. Whenever she had first seen the castle, leaning out over the side of a carriage drawn by threstrals, Jana had been amazed at the beauty that it held and how a feeling of warmth seemed to rush through her all at once—like she was home.
The castle itself had a large number of floors and secret passageways and moving staircases that Jana thought it was a travesty that no one had bothered to craft a map. The hallways were not just occupied by students and teachers; there were also ghosts, who liked to walk through the walls unannounced and figures in portraits that sometimes liked to abandon their frame. There was even a large dining room with four large tables for each of the Houses (Slytherins, Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws, and Gryffindors—like Jana), a thousand or more floating candles, and an enchanted ceiling that showed the sky.
Outside the walls of the castle, there was the dark and looming Forbidden Forest where it was, as the title suggests, forbidden to go into without the presence of a professor. In the middle of the castle grounds, there was a massive lake where a colony of merpeople resided beneath the water’s surface as well as a giant squid who frequently surfaced to see the students. There was also a large willow tree that had a habit of swinging its limb at annoying birds or ruffling its leaves in annoyance. Closer to the castle, there was a cluster of greenhouses—filled with plants of all natures and levels of deadliness—and a decent-sized Quidditch pitch with stands towering high above the ground.
Over the summer, Jana had been brought to the school by the Headmistress and sorted into her house before the Head of the Gryffindor House, Neville Longbottom, gave her a quick tour. While Professor Longbottom had made extra sure to hit important places around the castle, such as the Gryffindor Common Room and dorms and the outside Greenhouses, little could’ve been done to help her overcome the massive learning curve. She, like the first years, was still struggling to learn the castle and its intricate hallways—and the trickster doors.
(discussion below the cut)
This week, I’ve decided to start a new “tradition” on my blog on Wednesdays by posting a section of my WIP. Recently, my writing has been rather slow and spontaneous (judging by me creating the idea and then posting ‘punch and tell’ in the same day) and it’s been incredibly frustrating to me. However, I’m hoping to get back to writing more frequently. 
In addition, I’ve been working on what I want to highlight as my “WIP”: my Hogwarts AU. I know I’ve been saying it for months, but it finally seems to be coming to fruition. Finally. The plans are all set—the background characters, the changes, the plots. However, still, I find myself stuck and second-guessing myself and doing this story because well, it’s not a sobbe��story (and, let’s be real here, that’s what everyone wants to see). 
While this fic is a step back towards HP—my OG fandom and where I got my writing start as well as my favorite childhood world to disappear to—it’s also my first fic where I won’t be writing Sobbe and Robbe or Sander as the main POV character. So, while it takes a step into my comfort zone (into HP, where i know an embarrassing amount of minuscule trivia and random headcanons), it’s also a step outside of that because I’m starting a new pov with a character that I haven’t really written a lot of before: Jana.
Her book of Hogwarts AU—originally: the magic of betrayal; now: the curse of betrayal (or as I refer to it tcob)—depicts the story of season 1... with some minor changes. Of course, there’s the obvious such as magical classes and spells and flying broomsticks and ghost. But there are some also minor plot changes that I feel would be beneficial to focusing on Jana’s story—as well as taking out some that I just don’t really like as much—and inclusion of a plot that will hopefully focus more on Jana’s difficulty with school in the first half of season 1 (later in the season, she’s shown to be studying physics with Yasmina, but I always wished that they’d focus a little more on school). 
(I’ve also included magical technology since texts/social media are such a prominent part of every-day life and there’s no way Muggleborn students can disappear off the face of the earth completely for 9 months of the year without people getting suspicious. I’m sorry.)
In addition, it also includes characters introduced later in the series—from the beginning. Milan has become the assistant to Madam Pomfrey, who is getting close to retiring, and Noor Bauwens and Aaron Jacobs are already included with their canonical friends from season 3. Sander Driesen—everyone’s personal fav—has also been included since the beginning, with one of my favorite non-canonical friendships to tie him into the season 1 storyline. I’ve also included some of my favorite OCs to enrich the background (and mostly because I’m too attached to them)—such as Valentin and Sophie from Safe, Jonathon from Jij Verliest, and Celeste (who now has the last name, Maes) from just friends. 
As I mentioned, I’m rather nervous about this fic and I’m going to come right out and say it: it isn’t a sobbe fic. In the first book, Jana’s, I do not have it planned for them to even have an interaction—though currently both of them will have separate interactions with Jana. I know that hits/comments/kudos do not matter, but I’m also internally terrified that no one is going to read it or care for it. I’m writing for me, this is true, but I also love hearing that people are enjoying what I’m writing and regardless of any internal motivation that I feel, comments and kudos and asks fuel my motivation a lot more than people realize. 
So, I apologize that this fic has been taking a long time—especially since I’ve been slowly working on the idea for about a year now—and I hope that I’m able to get it out to you soon. I hope you are looking forward to this story as much as I am.
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peaceoutofthepieces · 4 years ago
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Hey! I’m really sorry I’m not really a fan of vds (😬sorry folks, feel like that’s blasphemy in the tag these days) so probably won’t be able to get into this new fic even though it sounds great! But I love your writing and your social media au so much!
Do you have anymore sobbe fics I can get my teeth into to avoid watching this current shambles season?
Also if you have any recommendations for other writers too that would be fab, ao3 is a bit of a minefield but based on your writing I trust your judgement! ☺️
Have a lovely day ✨
hey!!! each to their own, no need to apologise to me 🥰
this may take a bit of organisation so bear with me
if you’re looking for more of my sobbe fics:
when I live my dream is the first au I did but it is half vds
show me some stars is a 5+1 type fic I wrote during s3 that’s a bit like missing scenes and it is purely sobbe (it’s quite angsty though but also very soft)
and coffee and croques is a coffee shop au I wrote that has some background elu! (and a tiny bit of vds. because it’s me. but it’s just a sobbe fic I promise)
now for recs:
honestly I think these ones are very popular and you’ve most likely read them already but I’ll give you the fics I’ve bookmarked!
I say these every time but imma continue to do so — just read everything by @hopelessromanticvirgo, all their aus are perfect and sobbe (though angsty too, so be aware!) you’ll find all the links on their page!
all of @djsander’s fics. all of em. you can find their ao3 here. ‘unattainable’ is iconic, ‘safe’ is sander’s pov of that (and AMAZING), ‘we’ve been through a lot of things, you and I’ is the angsty childhood friends fics everyone needs, ‘jij verliest’ is the gamer/tattoo artist au of your dreams. enjoy!
rotten work by aholynight is just iconic. angsty. daredevil-y. beautiful.
dreaming of you by bonjourmags was super interesting. Sander seeing Robbe in his dreams before he meets him. background elu. it’s a cool fic
All You’ve Got To Do Is Win by berrevy. the sobbe tennis game! fluffy and cheeky and adorable
Draw Me A Flower? by robbesanderx. florist!robbe, tattoo artist!sander, what more do you need?
My darling, I’m rooting for you by allforyoumylove. bit angstier. hurt/comfort. soft.
the night we met by themoongirl. college au!
Falling For You by silver_etoile. soccer au with a tiny bit of background vds. interesting characterisation and stuff in this one
paint me in trust by themoongirl. now I know this was popular but if you’re dubious over the vampire idea DON’T BE (unless it’s like a really no-go type thing for you, but honestly it’s just so well done)!! this is one of those fics, the one you have no idea you desperately needed until you read it. an actual gift. I wanna reread
our camp of dreams by robbesanderx. summer camp au, lot of cute kids and games and pining and yeah, amazing
This isn’t our first time around by noobishere. I legit just read this last night and it’s so good. if you love the parallel universe theory, this fic does an amazing play on it
they’re my saved ones! since they’re all a bit angst-leaning though (that’s my game) I’m gonna link you to this rec list of lighter sobbe fics too :)
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lucidpantone · 4 years ago
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Funny ask 🤣 rank your top 10 fic tropes from your favorite to you least favorite
Hey Anon, well I am assume you’re asking me this since am basically no.1 fan of all the wtfock fanfic writers (love you all please feed me wordcount am greedy). So let’s use the wtfock top 20 fanfics as an example (evaluations based on hits/traffic count since kudos have a one time max so they tend to give a distorted look on whats actually popular in Ao3. )
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☝🏽 Grrrrrrr why Ao3!! (I want deluge a million kudos) 
1-10 (1 being my fav/10 still a fav but am reading 1 first)
1. A rotten work (ANGST give me all the angst all the time) by @aholynight (Warning this fic explores heavy drug use as a coping mechanism and concepts around sex as self validation but its truly a masterpiece of the human condition and how one self can perpetuate a cycle of abuse onto one’s self)
2. You are safe here (trope would be original characters au/concept) by gayboy99 I really like the development of parental figures in this fic that skam lacks. Author thank you for highlighting the male on male dynamic of father/son.
3. Rough Magic (enemies to lovers) by @aholynight I already told you how amazing of an angst writer she is so slap on enemies to lovers too. The woman is incredible in every trope.
4. The night we met (college Au) by @dearrobbe. Since we are only including the front page of ao3 I gotta discuss the masterpiece concept introduced in this fic concerning a liminal space. A million kudos for creativity.I have so much fucking respect for you Jenna you are an incredible writer. Go check out paint me in trust too its due to end this weekend or next.
5. Unattainable (social au trope: aka instagram, youtube, text crafting concepts) by @ravenbrenna09. I was one of those old school peeps that was resistant towards the whole social au concept but Breanna’s amazing writing and creativity really sold me. Also unattainable is only one part of the pov. She flips it in the next installment of this fic world. She is so fucking creative it makes me sick! Also check out her new work Jij Verliest. 
6. Do I know you? (amnesia au) by @srta-pepa you know when you realize you didn’t know you needed something and then it appears and you’re like omg why didn’t I demand this before?!?! This fic is that for me it has had me anxious/worried/biting my nails. What a ride.... Thank you for attempting a trope that not many people do and killing it. Also you writing has grown so much I am so proud to read every chapter and see your development. It doesn’t go unnoticed how much you’re killing yourself for us. Thank you!!!! You’re crushing it know that.
7. the blood of both is my limbo @luludemauryyy / Rescue my heart by @skamsnake & @zaddyskam (am cheating because one is top of 2nd page but am combining fairytale/abo/soulmate au because both these fics are part of adaptive lit category). Say it with me people exposition, exposition, exposition. Did I know that I needed to know what a bar looks like in the 9th circle of hell? NO, but did luludemauryyy describe it in the most vivid unbelievable detail. Hell yes, they did. No one comes close to writing exposition like they do. They are literally masters of this style. Maybe the best in the fandom. Only people that come close to world descriptions and exposition building is snake and zaddy explaining concepts to me around abo because I didn’t even know what this was until I read their fic. Am a simple brain people. I stan all of you so much and I am looking at you for inspiration as I attempt a world fic in the future.
8. Vrijdag 21:37 (multiple pov shift au) by @wasteourdays​ Shut up, shut up, shut up. I am so jealous of your impeccably talented brain. I love this concept. I want to steal it. You killed it and if anyone ever says that its impossible to write the same scene 5+ times and keep it interesting needs to be sent this fic because they are simply lazy and need to be school by someone like you. Also its one of smoothest reads because I was engaged the entire time. 
9. Five out of Thirty (Future au) by @tyrusmwm You know what I respect a writer that consistently ask for feedback and adjust their style and takes on real time ideas from their readership. When you write characters many years into the future it’s so hard to capture the characters correctly because 16 yr old you and 30 yr old you are worlds apart. I love when someone takes a chance to write a character many years into the future and basically carve out an entirely original character in a way. Also personal note the growth I have seen in your writing when you are timely and detailed really wrecks my heart. 
10. All of you!! (Am cheating because its goes pass the front hit page) Every trope, every wacky idea, every leap of faith to be original. I stan each and every one of you that is brave enough to share your writing with us and some of your inner most intimate thoughts and experiences. You are all fucking crushing it, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. 
Please applause, kudos, comment, anon and dm all these writers. We are so damn lucky to have them creating content for us and they all literally inspire me on the daily to become a better writer. I love and respect all your talents so much. Thank you and a million kudos!!!!
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kalemakar · 4 years ago
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allezrobbe, to-enter-polaris, sanderijzermans, luxandobscurus, trying time find people you haven’t done already aksbsbdej
heyyy anon and ty for trying lol
@allezrobbe
beccas gifs? outta this world! her gifs are so well colored and theyre soooo beautiful!!! theyre so beautiful i start crying thats how beautiful they are! the talent-- im just in awe. her art?? imma boutta faint its amaaaazzing! beccas also really nice
@to-enter-polaris
sarahhhhhhhh!!! youre edits are soooo beautiful (especially that wtfock poster one im--- its soooo heckin beautiful). im eagerly waiting for more from you bc ik its gonna be amazing! and you are so nice and wonderful
@sanderijzermans
i already did them but their writing is amazing EVERYONE HAS TO READ IT i love her fics such as jij verliest and unattainable! 
@luxandobscurus
omg your vid edits and fics and drawings are just so amazing!!!! youre so frickin talented!! plus your post about the notes just put all of my frusturations into words and i have to thank you for that  
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ravenbrenna09 · 4 years ago
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Jij Verliest - Master List
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Summary: For the past three months, Robbe’s life—and what it once was—had been stripped away and rearranged. Now, if anything, his life had become a bit repetitive: homework, stream, ignore Thomas’s Instagram, repeat. But one Friday evening, Robbe meets a hurricane in the form of a platinum-haired tattoo artist who just might show him everything that he’s been missing.
Character Profiles/Announcement
Teaser: Press Start
Chapter One: 
Zaterdag 9:31
Zaterdag 12:41
Zondag 18:31
Maandag 15:11
Dinsdag 19:47
Woensdag 11:26 (part one) (part two)
Donderdag 19:50
Vrijdag 20:23
Chapter Two: 
Zaterdag 22:35
Zonday 13:14
Maandag 10:52
Dinsdag 12:39/12:46
Woensdag 18:49/19:53/20:58
Donderdag 12:16
Vrijdag 8:23
Chapter Three:
Zaterdag 15:52
Zondag 18:25
Maandag 19:21
Dinsdag 17:38
Woensdag 21:51
Woensdag 22:39/23:43
Donderdag 17:04
Vrijdag 22:32/22:52
Chapter Four:
Zaterdag 9:31
Zondag 10:21
Zondag 19:21
Maandag 15:10/15:23
Dinsdag 20:41
Woensdag 16:36/17:03/18:23
Donderdag 18:45
Vrijdag 12:12
Chapter Five: 
Zaterdag 8:27
Zondag 18:53/20:34
Maandag 18:16/21:32
Dinsdag 19:12/19:25/20:04/22:34
Woensdag 21:45/21:49
Donderdag 22:39/22:51
Vrijdag 12:21/12:24
Chapter Six:
Zaterdag 11:29/12:01
Zondag 9:24
Maandag 14:51/17:42/21:22
Dinsdag 17:43
Woensdag 19:03
Donderdag 19:52
Vrijdag 12:42
Vrijdag 21:21
Chapter Seven:
Zaterdag 4:27/10:23
Zaterdag 10:29/Zondag 13:38
Maandag 11:52/Dinsdag 17:45
Woensdag 15:49/16:21
Donderdag 18:03/18:28 & Vrijdag 18:39
Chapter Eight:
Zaterdag 22:27
Zondag 13:26
Maandag 14:11/Dinsdag 19:25
Woensdag 12:39/17:36/17:49
Donderdag 18:28/Vrijdag 22:41
Epilogue: The End
Preview #1
Preview #2
Preview #3
Preview #4
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ravenbrenna09 · 4 years ago
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the end link:
Since the second that Sander saw Robbe in that bar—long before they knew each other’s names, long before they met again and fell in love, Sander knew that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Robbe. Now, four and a half years later, he’s ready to have his life completely and forever intertwined with Robbe’s… with some encouragement from those closest to him.
here we are again <3 
thank you all to everyone that has loved this series to its official completion. this wonderful series that is so near and dear to my heart and it means the absolute world to me that you have loved this series so much and watched robbe and sander fall in love all over again. i can’t wait to show you guys what i have in store next—even though it might be a while until i feel ready to bring it out to you. but definitely look forward to all of my gifs and screams about the upcoming season on here :) 
special thanks to valentina (@nooraevas) for editing and helping me. not only with the entirety of Jij Verliest but also with the epilogue. you kept me focus on days when i couldn't write as smoothly and you're an amazing human being. i couldn't have done any of this story without you <3
Until next time, I love you guys and thank you so much from the bottom of my heart <3
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ravenbrenna09 · 4 years ago
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Jij Verliest - Chapter Seven: Clips 3&4
master list
...
Zaterdag 10:29
With the forks clenched between his teeth and clutching at the full plate with his hands, Robbe stepped down the hallway, closer to his destination—to his bedroom and the sleeping Sander waiting on his bed. Reaching out with his free hand, Robbe opened his bedroom door slowly and stepped into the room. He half-expected Sander to still be asleep on the bed, but, as he closed the door behind him, Robbe spotted him awake. 
Sander was sitting up on the edge of the bed with slumped shoulders as he stared out the window. His long legs were splayed out in front of him. He was gripping onto his jeans tightly, his knuckles turning white. Sitting like that, he looked something like a statue, carved and perched on the edge of Robbe’s bed, and Robbe couldn’t help staring. Sander reached into the pocket of his jeans, pulling out his phone, and Robbe returned to the present with a start. 
Once Robbe locked the door—knowing Milan’s tendency to barge into rooms unannounced—Sander glanced up to the door. As soon as Sander’s eyes landed on Robbe, the change was instantaneous. He sat up a little straighter and Robbe saw his body visibly relax. His face lit up in a bright smile and his eyes barely glassed over. “Hey,” Sander said, so quiet that Robbe nearly missed it. 
Taking the forks from his mouth, Robbe echoed, “Hello.” Robbe crossed over to him, and pressed a quick kiss against his lips before announcing, “I come with food.”
Glancing down at the overfilled plate, Sander eyed him skeptically. “Did you make breakfast?”
“No,” Robbe said bluntly, handing Sander the forks. “You don’t have to worry about it being accidentally poisoned.” Taking the silverware from him, Sander snorted. Loudly. Robbe sunk on the bed beside him and balanced the plate on his knee. “Jonathan, Milan’s boyfriend, is a master chef. If he’s here, he’s cooking and that’s mostly because he takes over the kitchen. His scrambled eggs are to die for and he said to try the potatoes.” 
Ah,” Sander said. “I’ll have to thank him then.” 
“Yes, you should.” 
In one long heartbeat, Sander leaned forward. Robbe tilted his head up to meet his lips in a kiss and Sander stopped a hairline before their lips met fully. At Robbe’s whine, Sander’s lips twisted into a knowing smirk and Robbe couldn’t stop the smile that formed on his lips. “Thank you for getting food,” Sander said, his lips brushing against Robbe’s. 
“You’re welcome,” Robbe said. 
“I should thank you properly.”
“Hmm… how are you going to do that?” 
“Let me show you.”
Tugging him closer by the back of his neck, Sander brought Robbe close to him, dragging their lips together smoothly and certainly. Robbe’s head was spinning, trying to pull Sander closer and keep the plate level, as Sander kissed him deeply, his hand moving to cradle his face. Sander separated their lips before placing a gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth. Robbe tried to turn his head, to join their lips again, but before he could, Sander’s grip tightened on his jaw, keeping him still.
“Sander,” Robbe said, half a warning. Sander agonizingly trailed down Robbe’s jaw, placing kisses on every inch of skin he encountered. Once he had covered Robbe’s jaw with gentle kisses, his lips dragged down his neck. Every other kiss, Sander would bite down on his neck before swiping his tongue across it as though he was trying to soothe Robbe’s skin. Robbe swallowed, focused on keeping the plate steady or else it would topple over on the bed, resulting in a gigantic mess. 
Suddenly, Sander stopped, halting against his skin. Pressing his nose into the crook of Robbe’s neck, Sander sucked in a breath. The nervousness radiated off of Sander in waves, his hand falling from his jaw. Robbe turned to press a kiss against Sander’s temple and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. After a few seconds of nervous silence, Sander spoke up, his lips gliding across Robbe’s neck, “When I woke up and saw you were gone, I thought that you left me.” 
Even with Sander tucked into his side, his face buried and hidden, Robbe recognized the insecurity in his voice. It was so similar to his late-night “Are you going to leave me?” The tremor in his voice and the insecurity in it made Robbe want to wrap him in a hug until he didn’t think that anymore—to kiss him until Sander felt better. But, Robbe knew insecurity like an old friend—how it always tended to pop back up without really meaning to, how it never seemed to go away when you wanted it to.
Robbe placed the plate onto the bed, making sure that it was seated where it wouldn’t topple over. Once he did, Robbe scooted closer to him, as close as he could, and draped his legs across Sander’s lap. Sander let him, wrapping his arms around Robbe’s waist, gripping him tightly. Robbe ran his hands through Sander’s hair, tugging onto the strands until he looked up with nervous green eyes. Once they were face-to-face, close enough that Robbe could’ve leaned forward to kiss him if he wanted to, he whispered, “Never.” 
As soon as the words left his mouth, an emotional look flashed over Sander’s face and his eyes glassed over again. It was like he couldn’t believe that Robbe would say such a thing—and Robbe knew the weight of his declaration. Before the beach trip, he didn’t want to let Sander go, and now, after a week of uncertainty and being apart, the feeling had only increased. Robbe never wanted to be separate from him again. 
Leaning forward, Robbe closed the gap, kissing him gently. Digging his fingers against Robbe’s scalp, Sander urged the kiss on and he dragged his tongue across Robbe’s bottom lip. His mouth fell open in response and Sander wasted no time licking into his mouth. One of his hands dropped to Robbe’s waist and his thumb slipped beneath the hem of his shirt, tracing patterns along his skin. Robbe clung tightly to the fabric of his shirt, pulling him closer, and Sander let out a sigh. 
As they separated, Robbe caught Sander’s bottom lip between his teeth, biting down lightly. Sander laughed, nuzzling their noses together before pulling back. Staring at him with a peaceful look on his face, Sander looked wrecked with bright red lips and flushed cheeks. Robbe had a feeling that he didn’t look much better. He was now entirely in Sander’s lap, his legs wrapped securely around his waist, and the food forgotten on the bed. 
Playing with the collar of his shirt, Robbe confessed for only Sander to hear, I would never leave you.” Sander grinned, happy and beautiful, as he looked at Robbe with that intense look in his eyes—the one that made Robbe feel so seen and secure in front of him. “Besides,” Robbe added, his tone light. “It’s my bedroom.”
Sander laughed, shaking his head, but his eyes were bright and his grin was wide. “Silly me,” Sander said, leaning closer to him. 
“Silly you,” Robbe breathed out before Sander’s lips were back against his own. 
This kiss was slow, almost overwhelmingly slow, and Robbe pulled him closer, held him tighter. Sander’s hands on his waist gripped a little tighter and held him against his chest. When Sander pulled back, Robbe chased after his lips and connected them again, and again, and again. Finally, Sander reached up, gripping onto Robbe’s jaw to stop him from following him. Robbe whined, leaning back, and Sander chuckled. “Ask the question,” Sander said. 
“Huh?” Robbe asked, confused. 
Sander turned serious with a sorrowful look on his face. Leaning back on the bed, Sander braced himself with both hands, making sure to avoid the plate of food. Robbe could see the nervous look in his eyes as Robbe leaned back as well. Then, Sander said, quietly, “Ask the question, Robbe. I know that you’ve wanted to ask it more than once.” 
Robbe sank further on Sander’s lap. Swallowing down his nerves, Robbe ran his hand across his chest, feeling the muscles beneath his shirt. Raising his eyes back to meet Sander’s, who was waiting nervously, Robbe asked, “What happened while I was at the beach house?” Despite insisting for Robbe to ask, Sander had grown nervous and quiet. Unable to handle the silence, Robbe couldn’t stop himself from talking to fill it, “I know something happened—something that made you change your—”
Before Robbe could finish the statement, Sander was cutting him off. “I never changed my mind, Robbe,” he said. 
“I know, it just—”
“I know what it looked like and I’m sorry that I made it seem like it was that way,” Sander said. Robbe could hear the sincerity in his voice, knew that he was telling the truth, and Robbe swallowed. “I never changed my mind, Robbe. I promise.” The look of insecurity crossed his face in a flash. “Do you believe me?”
Robbe nodded. “I do.” He swallowed, glancing down at his hands on Sander’s stomach. “Was it something I did, Sander?” Even though Sander started shaking his head, Robbe continued. “Because that’s the only thing I can think of and if I did something, you need to tell me.”
Sander cupped his face, trailing one of his thumbs down Robbe’s jaw. “You didn’t do anything, Robbe,” he whispered. Robbe leaned against him, nudging their noses together, and Sander mirrored his action. “And I didn’t change my mind.” 
“So, what happened?” Robbe asked. “Britt told me that you walked her home on Tuesday—after having dinner with her parents—and that you started texting her more after that. And… that’s when I started thinking you were acting strange too.”
“I know, I know,” Sander said, letting out a breath as he gripped briefly to Robbe’s thighs. Robbe ran a hand across Sander’s shoulders, feeling his muscles tense beneath his fingers. “After I walked Britt home, I headed back to my apartment. On my way, I ran into Thomas.” 
“Thomas?” Robbe asked. “As in my ex-boyfriend, Thomas?”
Sander nodded and Robbe felt a brief surge of anger whip through his bloodstream. But, he stayed quiet as Sander ran a hand down his leg. “As I was passing by the bar—the one where I met you, he stumbled out of it with one of the bartenders supporting him to a cab. He was completely wasted and pissed off at you, I think, and everyone at the same time. He nearly ran into me and I helped him the rest of the way. Once he realized that it was me, he started yelling at me and saying all these things about you.”
Robbe swallowed. “What did he say?”
“It’s not important, Robbe—”
“Yes, it is,” he said. Robbe knew that he was being a little more forceful than he meant to be, but he had seen the hurt in Sander’s eyes, the twisted remains of Thomas’s harsh words. There was white-hot anger boiling in his gut and even though it wasn’t like him, Robbe wanted to hunt down his ex. Why couldn’t Thomas be gone? Letting out a breath, Robbe said, “Sander, if it hurt you so badly, it is important.”
Sander sighed. “It’s not necessarily what he said at the moment,” Sander said. “I knew he was just a pissed off ex and he’s certainly not the first ex to be pissed at me—hopefully, he’ll be the last—plus, I could tell that he was drunk out of his mind. So, at first, I was able to write it all off as just that: an upset and drunk ex… but…” Sander paused, bowing his head. “But, as the week went on, I kept thinking about his words again and they started affecting me more and more until they were all I was thinking about—”
“Sander,” Robbe said, gently. “What did he say?” 
Sander sighed. “That you would get bored of me and leave me as you left him,” Sander said. His voice was so quiet and small. Robbe moved to speak, to remind him that it wasn’t true, but Sander shook his head before continuing. “And, what he said was ridiculous—because he was the one that broke up with you—but it was like he managed to string at all of my insecurities in one quick, drunken shout. The longer it went, the worse it became and it just all caught up to me on Thursday and I—” He cut himself off, swallowing obviously. 
“I understand,” Robbe said. Sander glanced away from him, preferring to look at his shirt, and Robbe ran a hand through the hair on the nape of his neck. “Your thoughts are like the mural, right? The ocean slamming down until it feels like your drowning?” Sander’s eyes flickered up to him, surprised. “Thomas has always been frighteningly good at figuring out insecurities, Sander, but he is wrong, okay? I am not going anywhere.” 
Sander stayed quiet, staring up at him with wide eyes.
“I’m never going to go anywhere and I will make sure to tell you that every day,” Robbe said. He leaned to him, rubbing their noses together, and Sander leaned against him. He sat up, taking Robbe with him, and Sander placed his hands on Robbe’s waist, gripping him tightly. Robbe placed his hands along Sander’s jawline and kissed his nose. “I’m not going anywhere and I’m going to prove it to you every day. Is that okay?”
Sander nodded before letting out a sigh. “I’m sorry,” Sander said. His breath fanned out against Robbe’s face, warming his skin. Robbe pulled him closer, feeling the nervous tension in his shoulders. “For making you feel that way… From the minute that you left last Friday, I wanted to chase after you and kiss you senseless but my thoughts were just so loud and I thought that you would be safer if I… I didn’t want you to get hurt because of me—”
“You can never hurt me, Sander—”
“I just did, Robbe,” Sander said, hurriedly. “I’ve spent the last week hurting you, not responding to messages and making you feel like I never—” 
“Okay,” Robbe said, running a hand through Sander’s hair. He began to calm, leaning his head in the direction of Robbe’s palm, and Robbe pressed a kiss against his cheek. “Let me rephrase that… You would never hurt me to hurt me, okay? No matter what happened this past week, I am going to forgive you, Sander—and I’m not going anywhere.” 
Sander swallowed, his voice breaking as he said, “Really?”
At the hurt and pain in his voice, Robbe could feel his heart ripping into two. Sander didn’t believe that Robbe forgave him—Sander didn’t believe that Robbe was never going to leave. How many people had left Sander? How many times had he been hurt? His gut knew that he would never be able to tell Sander enough right now so Robbe leaned forward and kissed him, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. As much as he could, Robbe tried to pour every ounce of feeling into the kiss—to let Sander know with certainty that he was never going to leave, to let him know that he forgave him.
When they separated, Robbe placed a flurry of kisses across his face before declaring, “Really.” 
For the first time since Robbe returned to the bedroom, Sander smiled. It was bright and it was genuine, but Robbe could see the emotion fluttering in it—overwhelmed but happy. Wrapping his arms around Sander’s shoulders, Robbe pulled him closer and Sander clung to his body. Glancing at Robbe’s lips, Sander tilted his chin up a little and Robbe was more than willing to kiss him again—for the rest of the afternoon—or forever. 
But, before their lips could meet, their stomachs let out a loud, unison growl. 
Unwrapping his arm from Sander’s shoulders, Robbe chuckled. “Looks like our stomachs had enough waiting,” Robbe teased, trying not to let his disappointment show. When Robbe attempted to climb off his lap, Sander gripped tightly on his hips, not wanting him to move. Getting the message, Robbe stopped trying to get off and simply reached for the set-aside plate and the discarded forks.
As Robbe took a bite of the scrambled eggs, Sander said matter-of-factly, “I don’t know how this food is going to compare when I have the most delicious thing right in front of me.” Robbe could feel the flush creeping on his face. Flirty, confident Sander was back in full force. The insecure Sander was still there, swimming in the broken pool of his eyes, but Robbe knew that his jokes meant he was feeling better. Plus, the sight of Robbe’s pink cheeks brought Sander’s bright smile back.
“We’ll see about that,” Robbe said, scooping up a bite of eggs.
“Hey, I’m deadly serious—” Sander was cut off as Robbe shoved the bite of eggs into his open mouth. Swallowing, Sander started drooling as he reached blindly behind him, “Oh my god. That’s amazing! Where’s the other fork?” 
Robbe laughed loudly as Sander reached for the second fork.
Zondag 13:38
Yesterday, after they had finished their cold breakfast, Sander raced into the kitchen to thank Jonathan for the food with Robbe and the empty plate trailing behind. Leaving the comfort and solitude of Robbe’s room had been a mistake. Now that Milan wasn’t in a hurry to leave, he proceeded to interrogate Sander about everything that Robbe didn’t tell him. Sander dutifully answered all of Milan’s questions—going into meticulous detail about their picnic in the park and their first kiss by the warehouse to Milan’s glee—and Robbe was the one sitting on the kitchen counter, writhing in embarrassment. 
Before Milan could ask another question, the blushing Robbe dragged Sander back into his room. Even as Sander continued to tease him, Robbe knew that his words packed no punch and brought him into a kiss. The two of them fell on Robbe’s bed before putting a YouTube video on one of their phones and they stayed there until Milan knocked on the bedroom door, asking for Sander’s favorite pizza and demanding they join him and Jonathan for a Harry Potter marathon.
About halfway through the second movie, Sander promptly said that he was a Slytherin. Robbe reasoned that he could’ve been a Gryffindor or a Ravenclaw and Milan simply laughed. Jonathan insisted that Milan and Robbe were both Hufflepuffs—which Robbe admitted to seeing—before Sander spoke up that Robbe could be a Ravenclaw. 
As they argued about Jonathan’s house, Zoë returned home with Senne in tow. At the sight of Sander lying on the couch with Robbe coiled in his lap, Senne let out an obvious breath of relief before exclaiming, “Oh thank God!” Sander laughed and Senne proceeded to tackle them, trapping Robbe between their arms. Zoë doubled over in laughter as Robbe tried to squirm out of their hold and Jonathan stated, “Senne is a Gryffindor”, to kick start the conversation again. 
As Jonathan made another bag of popcorn and Milan put in the fourth movie, Robbe turned in Sander’s arms to face him, quietly whispering, “Did you need to head back to your apartment soon?” 
Sander glanced down at him with a soft look in his eyes. “Did you want me to go?”
Robbe shook his head. “No,” Robbe said. “I just didn’t know if you had work tomorrow. And I don’t want Emilie to think that I’m just stealing you away all the time.”
Sander chuckled. “I don’t have work until Monday and I’m not leaving until there.” As Robbe smiled up at him, the confident bravado of Sander’s faltered. “Unless you wanted me to leave tonight?” Robbe shook his head, leaning to kiss him. Sander kissed him back in full force, wrapping him securely in his arms. Robbe forgot that they weren’t alone until someone hit them with a pillow, jolting them apart. 
It was Senne. “Come on, lovebirds,” he teased. “The movie is starting.”
“Really?” Sander asked. “You wanna go?” 
Waking up on Sunday morning with Sander’s nose pressed against his neck and his arms around his waist… it was a feeling that Robbe hoped would never go away. For breakfast, all six of them crowded around the small dining room table in the kitchen, bumping elbows as they passed food around. Zoë texted Lucas a photo of the table and giggled at his jealous response. 
Once breakfast was over, Zoë raced out of the apartment, needing to get to work before her late morning shift. Senne left shortly after, meeting up with Max and his girlfriend. While Senne extended the invitation to Sander, Robbe felt his heart do a flip when Sander said: “Maybe next time.” Jonathan had to head out to his mom’s house and Milan went with him. Being the only ones left, Robbe and Sander did the dishes before returning to the comfort of Robbe’s bed, curled up together.
Robbe didn’t want to leave the comfort of his bed or the safety of Sander’s arms. Tomorrow, the two of them would return to ‘normal’—the type of normal where they didn’t wake up in each other’s arms or hold hands beneath the kitchen table. After their first kiss and spending the night at Sander’s apartment, Robbe always woke up in the middle of the night to find no one in the bed with him and he had a feeling that it would only be more intense now. 
As the day went on, Robbe’s need to never leave his bed grew tenfold. But, when Sander turned to put on another Youtube video—a Pokémon YouTuber/Streamer whose intro Robbe memorized in an hour—Sander spotted the time on his phone and turned to him. “Hey, it’s almost time for you to stream.”
Robbe blinked up at him, half-asleep against his shoulder. “Huh?” 
Sander showed him the phone—Robbe’s feeling euphoric from being in Sander’s arms to be embarrassed about the drawing as his lock screen photo—and Robbe focused on the time. 13:38. Robbe let out a groan, snuggling further into Sander’s chest. “I don’t normally stream on Sundays.” 
“That’s true,” he said. Sander ran a hand through Robbe’s curls, giving them a gentle tug and trying to pull him up from his chest. Robbe let out a low whine but turned to look up at him all the same. “But you also didn’t stream yesterday. Generally, if you didn’t stream on Saturday, you stream on Sunday.”
“That’s true…”
“So, are you?”
Robbe shook his head, leaning back against Sander’s chest. “I’m not going to stream today,” Robbe said, letting out a breath. Sander turned to him, a curious look in his eyes. “Since I ended the stream short on Friday and I didn’t stream yesterday, I know that I should probably stream but… I don’t want to get up.” 
Sander laughed. “You should.”
“Why?” Robbe asked. 
“For lots of reasons,” Sander said, chuckling. “It’s your job—and your main source of income—and you love doing it. I know you do. Remember, I’ve watched nearly all of your streams in the past month and a half and it’s amazing, like no one I’ve ever seen before.” Robbe felt his cheeks flush and that was before Sander rolled them over, hovering a breath above him. “Plus, when you play video games, you’re really hot.” 
Robbe chuckled, making an obvious show that he was rolling his eyes.
Sander leaned down closer, their lips brushing, but not quite kissing. Robbe extended his neck, to try and connect their lips, but Sander was evil and pulled back at the last second. Robbe groaned and Sander grinned like he won the lottery. “I promise that I’ll be good if that’s what you’re worried about.” 
“You are quite distracting,” Robbe said. Sander chuckled, pressing a feather-light kiss against his lips. When Robbe whined, Sander kissed him again—this time, deeper, pushing his mouth open instantly and lowering his body against him. Robbe pulled Sander closer, tugging at the fabric of his t-shirt. Sander wouldn’t budge so Robbe tugged a little harder, trying to get him to come closer, to kiss him harder.
But Sander, ever the temptation, simply pulled away at the last second and beamed down at him. “Don’t worry,” Sander said, grinning. Robbe blinked up at him. “I’ll go swing by my apartment for clothes to wear tonight and tomorrow.” Robbe barely had time to react before Sander was pressing another fleeting kiss to his lips. “Then, for the rest of your stream, I’ll stay at the café downstairs.”
With a sense of finality, Sander rolled off of him, leaving Robbe stunned on the bed. 
“What?” Robbe asked, sitting up. Robbe stood up from the bed, watching Sander grab his gray denim jeans from the floor from where they had been abandoned on Friday night. He quickly swapped Robbe’s borrowed sweats—the ones Robbe always had to pull up because they were too big but managed to look perfect on Sander—for his jeans. As Sander buttoned his jeans and reached for his belt, Robbe asked, softly, “You’re leaving?” 
With the belt in one hand, Sander glanced up, catching his gaze before Robbe glanced away. Instantly, he abandoned it, dropping it back on the floor, and instantly wrapped Robbe in his arms. Once Robbe was sunk into his embrace, Sander placed a kiss against his head. “Only temporarily,” Sander said, his voice sounding so sure in Robbe’s ear. “As soon as your stream is over, I’ll come back to you. Or, you can come to me and we can go get something to eat.” 
Robbe swallowed, feeling silly as he said, “So, you’re coming back?” 
Sander weaved his hand through Robbe’s hair. He gently pulled on the strands, coaxing Robbe to tilt his head back so they were looking at each other. Once Robbe’s eyes were on his own, Sander said, “Yes, I am.” Robbe nodded, standing on his toes to bring their lips together. Sander kissed him like he was precious, holding him tightly against him, and a warmth shot through Robbe with a frightening intensity. 
Sander broke their kiss, briefly, to place two more feather-light kisses against his lips. Robbe laughed and tried to lean forward to kiss him. But, Sander dodged his kiss at the last second, pressing one against his cheekbone and then his jaw. Finally, Sander placed a final kiss against the curve of his jaw before holding Robbe tightly. The two of them swayed in the middle of the room, simply reveling in each other’s presence. “Are you sure that you’re alright with me staying another night?” 
“Yes, I promise,” Robbe breathed out. “I want you here and you never have to ask. You’re always welcome to share my bed. If you want, I’ll even clean out a drawer for you.” 
Sander laughed. “I’d like that,” he admitted. Pulling him closer, Sander kissed him again. It was brief before they were separating and Sander was shoving him toward his desk. Before Sander left completely he paused to place one final kiss on Robbe’s mouth and he said, “Good luck”, with the brightest smile on his face. Robbe beamed at him, relinquishing one more longer kiss out of him before Sander left the apartment with his bag on his shoulder and his Doc Martens.
There was a part of Robbe that worried that Sander would never return—that Robbe had let him walk out the door without a fight. However, as he wrapped up his stream, the sight of ‘earthlingoddity: see you soon ;)’ in the flying stream of bye’s made his heart swell a dozen times… and briefly short-circuit his brain that he nearly forgot to end the actual stream.
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ravenbrenna09 · 4 years ago
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Jij Verliest - Chapter Eight: Clip 1
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Zaterdag 22:27
After sleeping in too late, Sander prepared a fancy brunch and declined Robbe’s help, claiming he wanted to do something nice for him. So Robbe sat on the counter with his feet crossed beneath him as Sander made pancakes for both of them. After a few minutes of pouting, Sander gave in and spent his time between flips kissing Robbe breathless. Despite his pouting, Robbe welcomed his kisses, even if they had to deal with a few burned pancakes.
After Robbe helped with the dishes—he had beat him to clearing the dishes, but Robbe was physically incapable of saying no to him, which is why Sander helped him—Sander insisted on a small hike down a trail near the cabin. 
Armed with his camera around his neck, Sander led Robbe on a path in the forest. 
Following the irregular path through the trees, Sander would stop every few minutes to take photos of the surroundings. When Robbe stayed at his place, he had seen the photos on the wall and all the products that Sander had thrown his life into. But seeing him like this—seeing him take the photos—was captivating. Even with Robbe there, watching him intently, Sander was absorbed in the work, crouching down to get the perfect shot of every flower, tree, or far-off house that he could find. 
While still crouched down on the ground, Sander dropped the camera to analyze the shot. His eyes flickered up to Robbe, who was smiling down at him. Grinning, Sander bounced to his feet and wrapped his arms around Robbe’s shoulders. Once he was secure against Sander’s chest, he handed Robbe the camera and talked him through making the perfect shot. Sander’s breath was hot against his ear and positively distracting, but Robbe’s photos came out good—or so Sander said. 
Even though Robbe couldn’t see the perfect shot, Sander could find it without blinking. Every few minutes, he would pause and look through the pictures that he had taken with a critical eye. When he did, Robbe would look over his shoulder, watching which ones he deleted and which ones he kept. Every once in a while, he would ask Robbe for his opinion. 
On their last stop, Sander asked him for his opinion, but Robbe didn’t hear him, simply taking in the path around him. When Robbe heard clicking noises, he glanced up to see Sander had been taking photos of him. His cheeks flushed red and he tried to partially wrestle the camera away from him. Somehow, they ended up toppling on the trail with Sander half-trapping Robbe’s body and descending into laughter.
“Is the camera okay?” Robbe asked, feeling the giggles subside. 
Without rolling completely off Robbe, Sander checked the camera in his hands. After a few minutes, he announced, “The camera is okay. No scratches or breaks or anything.” 
Robbe breathed in relief, tugging on the strap of the camera, which was back around Sander’s neck. For a second, Sander merely glanced up in confusion, but another insistent tug at the strap caused the realization to form in his eyes. Sander moved back to Robbe, hovering over his body and pinning it to the ground, before dragging their lips together again. Sander sank down, fully pressing his weight against him, with the camera on the floor beside him. Robbe wrapped his arm around his neck, tugging him as close as he could go until Sander abruptly pulled away. 
There was a worried and sad look in his eyes, but it flickered off like a switch. The look disappeared so quickly that Robbe worried he had imagined it. 
“Come on,” Sander said. He pushed himself to his knees before standing up completely. He towered over Robbe, who was still flat on his back. Sander reached out and grabbed his hands. “Let’s get back to the cabin. It’s hot, we can go swimming.” Robbe nodded, taking his hands and feeling himself be pulled up from the ground. 
On the way back to the cabin, Sander was quieter. He fiddled with the camera in his hands and constantly stayed one step ahead. Robbe watched him carefully, reaching out to rub his arm. Sander would raise his head and smile at Robbe flirtatiously and kiss him while they walked, but Robbe could tell that there was something lingering in his mind. 
Once they were at the cabin, they quickly changed into their swimsuits before climbing into the pool. The water was freezing cold, but they quickly warmed up by swimming around the pool. Sander challenged him to a game of “Who can hold their breath the longest?” and kissed him beneath the water like some Norwegian teen drama. Neither of hem could help pushing themselves to the surface to continue their kiss, so the bet ended with a draw.
Sander cornered Robbe against the side of the pool covered by the shade of a nearby tree. Their skin was cold to the touch, but Robbe could feel the heat pooling in his stomach. He tried to pull Sander closer and tried to find purchase against the side, while Sander crowded him against it and kissed him deeper. All too quickly, Robbe’s foot slid, propelling him a little deeper into the water. Their kiss broke and Robbe managed to save himself from falling beneath the surface, chuckling in the space between them.
“Sorry,” Robbe said. Sander was looking at him with worried eyes. “My foot slipped.” 
Sander nodded and Robbe leaned up to kiss him again. But, before their lips could connect, Sander pulled back and swam away. “Come on,” he said, moving across the pool at a gentle pace. “Let’s go inside.”
Robbe blinked, still gripping the side of the pool. “What for?” 
Sander grinned cheekily, but something felt different. “We’ve got to eat dinner,” Sander said. “Come on.” 
“Will you let me help?” Robbe asked. 
Sander’s smile grew. “No.” 
“Ugh.” 
Even as Robbe swam to the ladder, he could see that something was wrong with Sander. He wasn’t quite sure how he could tell, but it struck a chord deep in his stomach. Sander’s smile didn’t reach his eyes as much as it normally did. And it had been the second time today that Sander had pulled away from Robbe in the middle of kissing. 
After showering, they got to work on dinner and Robbe managed to convince Sander to let him help a little bit. Once the sun disappeared beneath the horizon, ushering in the stars and the beautiful night sky, Sander headed outside and expertly started a fire at the fire pit. From the bedroom, Robbe grabbed a blanket and two pillows before following Sander outside. 
After spotting Robbe with the blanket and pillows, Sander’s face split into a knowing grin. He helped Robbe spread out the blanket and pinned the corners with the chairs that normally encircled the fire pit. Robbe placed the pillows on one edge of the blanket. Once Robbe settled down, Sander laid down beside him, placing his ear above Robbe’s heart and looking up at the sky. 
After a few minutes of silence, Robbe ran his hands through Sander’s hair, watching as his green eyes fluttered shut. Robbe knew that he wasn’t going to sleep. Even with his eyes closed, Sander still looked frighteningly awake. “Are you okay?” he asked. Sander opened his eyes, turning to look up at him. “There’s something going on in that head of yours. I can tell.” 
Sander’s lips upturned slightly. “Is there?”
“Yeah,” Robbe said. 
“I’ve just been thinking…” Sander trailed off. He sat up slowly and Robbe’s hand slid down to his hip. He left his hand there, trying to provide Sander some comfort. Sander pinched his eyes shut as he sat there. “I’ve just been thinking about how you might leave me.”
At his words, Robbe sat up. “Sander,” he said. “I’m not going to leave you.”
Sander glanced at him. His green eyes were barely glossed over, looking a little broken, and Robbe felt his heart squeeze fleetingly in his chest. Keeping their eyes locked together, Sander whispered, “You don’t know…” He paused, glancing over to the fire. “If you knew, you would think of me differently. It would change things between us.” Sander raised his eyes, green connecting with brown, as he confessed, “I don’t want things between us to change.”
Robbe straightened up, looking into his eyes as he said, “Things aren’t going to change between us, Sander.” 
“How do you know that?”
“Because I know that nothing you say would make me feel differently about you,” Robbe said. Sander stared at him with wide but slightly skeptical eyes. “If you want to tell me, you can. But if you don’t want to tell me, you don’t have to. You look like you have something weighing on your mind. I don’t want you to tell me because you feel like you have to.” 
“I want to tell you,” Sander said. “But… just promise that it won’t change what you think of me.” 
Robbe pressed their lips together. The kiss was brief and fleeting, barely any pressure behind it, but Sander leaned into it and breathed a little deeper. Once they separated, Sander’s breath ghosting over Robbe’s face and their foreheads pressed together, Robbe whispered, “I promise.” 
Sander leaned back, just enough so they could look at each other without being cross-eyed. Then, swallowing heavily, Sander said, “I’m bipolar.” 
He had heard the term once or twice before. Sometimes, Moyo would mention it in passing about his mama, but Robbe didn’t have a full understanding of what it was. Once, Moyo had mentioned his mother feeling so down that she wouldn’t leave bed for a week, which Robbe understood because of his experience with his mother. But he knew it wasn’t the entire story. “What’s that?”
“It’s a mental illness,” Sander said cautiously. He paused, staring at Robbe with a wary look in his eyes. It felt like Sander was waiting for him to say something else, or to storm off, but Robbe simply looked back  at him and waited. Once Robbe didn’t ask anything, Sander nervously continued, “It’s caused by a chemical imbalance. Sometimes, I have these manic episodes where I feel euphoric and like I could take on anything I put my mind to. My thoughts race and I have trouble focusing on one thing at a time. Once, I finished all my chores and started and finished three different paintings with little sleep.” 
When Sander looked at him, Robbe nodded to let him know he was listening.
“But I also have the opposite. In depressive episodes, I don’t want to do anything and my thoughts become overwhelming. Sometimes, I feel like I’m drowning in them. It’s hard for me to pick up a pencil to draw and I lay in bed all day. Sometimes, my dad would stay in the room until I finished eating because I didn’t have the energy to eat. Other times, I can’t stop eating,” Sander said. Pausing, he let out a heavy sigh, turning to the fire. “I wanted you to know because you deserve to know and I didn’t want you to be scared—”
“Sander,” Robbe said. Sander glanced at him, at his hand on his knee. “Thank you for telling me.” 
Sander nodded, his eyes glazing over as he turned back to the fire. “I know that you didn’t sign up for all this,” he said. Robbe’s eyebrows furrowed and the confusion washed over him in waves. “If you don’t want to deal with me being bipolar, I understand. You didn’t sign up for—”
“Hey,” Robbe said, interrupting him. Sander turned to him. Reaching out, Robbe took his hand, lacing their fingers together. Sander’s green eyes focused on their joined hands. Letting out a breath, Robbe said, “Sander, look at me.” 
There was a moment of pause. Sander kept his eyes focused on their joined hands, his thumb running across Robbe’s knuckles. After he swallowed, Sander raised his head and looked back to Robbe, who was still holding his hand. To Robbe, it felt like that night in the hallway of the flatshare with Sander confessing to him that he wanted Robbe. But it also felt different—like Sander was expecting him to say something else. 
Once their eyes locked together, Robbe gripped his hand tighter and said, “I want you, Sander. All of you.” There was a hint of disbelief in his eyes, but Robbe could see the hope residing there too. He could see how much Sander wanted to believe Robbe’s words. Leaning close, not caring about going cross-eyed, Robbe continued, “I signed up for you, Sander. Being bipolar is only a part of you and I signed up for all of you.” 
Sander let out a breath. “I’m not an easy person to be with, Robbe.” 
“No one is,” Robbe said. “My mom has depression. Sometimes, she goes through periods where she doesn’t want to eat or get out of bed. It’s not the same thing, I know, but I don’t love her any less because of her mental illness.” Tears welled up in Sander’s eyes, one stray tear falling down his cheek, and Robbe could feel a few forming in his own eyes. “When she gets down and it’s so hard to think far ahead, we try to take it minute by minute. We always say what we want to do in the next minute, like eating or getting out of bed. We can do that too… if you want.” 
Sander nodded. “That sounds nice,” he said. “Can you come here in the next minute?”
Without hesitation, Robbe climbed in his lap and wrapped his legs around Sander’s waist. Robbe could feel his arms wrap around him tightly, rubbing his back in large circles. As soon as Robbe’s arms were around his neck, Sander buried his face into Robbe’s shoulder. Robbe held him tightly, feeling Sander relax completely in his arms. Sander said something against the fabric of his shirt, but Robbe couldn’t make out the whisper over the loud cackle of the fire. 
Running his hands through Sander’s hair, Robbe confessed, “I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”
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ravenbrenna09 · 4 years ago
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Jij Verliest - Chapter Seven: Clips 9-11
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Donderdag 18:03
Sander: Hey, how was your stream?
Robbe: It was okay. Were you watching me? Because I literally just hit ‘end stream.’
Sander: No, I’m just now leaving work. Did you want to meet up for dinner?
Robbe: I can’t today. I’m going to meet my mom for dinner. Thursday is our weekly dinner.
Sander: Right, of course. For some reason, I thought it was Wednesday. Which is all the more reason for my text.
Robbe: What text?
Sander: Pack a bag when you get home.
Robbe: What for?
Sander: It’s a surprise ;) But make sure you bring a swimsuit and some shorts.
Robbe: What? What do I need a swimsuit for? Sander?
Sander: It’s a surprise, Robbe. The point is for you not to know.
Robbe: I’m not the biggest fan of surprises.
Sander: It’s a good one, I promise. Just getting some alone time is all.
Robbe: Okay. Does that mean I’m not streaming this weekend?
Sander: Just Saturday. I’ll have you home in time to stream on Sunday ;)
Robbe: Okay, I’ll pack a bag when I get home from dinner.
Sander: Great :) I’ll pick you up at 17:30 tomorrow? My shift ends at 17:00.
Robbe: I’ll see you then.
Sander: Yes :) Call me later?
Robbe: Of course. Wouldn’t miss it :)
Donderdag 18:28
As soon as Robbe stepped into her apartment, he could see the knowing look on his mama’s face. Her lips were upturned into a smile and her eyes followed Robbe into the apartment. As they were sitting down to eat their takeout (because his mama had to work late and was too hungry to cook), his phone vibrated on the table. Once the vibration started, the chorus of Rebel, Rebel played shortly after. Robbe rushed to turn it off, knowing it was a text from Sander, and fought the grin he knew was growing on his lips.
His mama watched his actions with a knowing look in her eyes. In an attempt to hide the blush on his cheeks, Robbe ducked his head. But avoiding her gaze did not stop her from asking, with a teasing tone, “Since when do you listen to David Bowie?” 
Robbe giggled, feeling his cheeks flush a little more. “I’ve been listening to him recently is all,” Robbe said, shrugging. He bit his lip and didn’t look up at his mother. “His music is amazing.” 
“Ah okay,” his mother said. From the light tone of her voice, Robbe could tell that his mother wasn’t buying it at all. She crossed her arms at the edge of the table and turned towards him with a critical eye. “Well, you certainly look happier than you did last week,” his mama said. She leaned towards him with a bright smile on her face and asked, “Does this have to do with Sander? Did you two figure things out?”
Robbe could feel the blush rising on his cheeks and dipped his head down a little further. His mother let out a giggle as Robbe said, “Yeah, we did and we’re together now.” His mama grinned excitedly at him, her dimples popping. “After work on Friday, he came over and we talked about what happened.” They didn’t talk until the morning, but Robbe was never going to admit that to his mother. “He spent the weekend and we went out to dinner on Tuesday.”
His mother smiled. “That’s so sweet, I’m happy for you,” his mama said. As Robbe placed his phone on silent and deposited his phone into his pocket, his mama dumped the contents of her to-go container onto the plate in front of her. Once his mama glanced up, catching his eye, she added, “I can’t wait to meet Sander.” Robbe swallowed. “I can see that he makes you so happy and that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.” 
“About that—” Robbe started. 
“What? Does he not make you happy?” his mama asked, confused. 
“No, no, he does,” Robbe said, smiling. “I promise.” His mama nodded her head. As Robbe struggled to find the words, she kept herself angled toward him as she cut up her food. “I was thinking about you meeting him.” His mama stayed quiet, keeping her eyes focused on him, but Robbe could still see the confusion and worry in her eyes… and he hadn’t even asked the question yet. “Sander and I were talking the other day and he has next Thursday evening off, so I was wondering if you might want to meet him then?” 
“I’m not sure,” his mama said, taking a bite of her food. Once she swallowed, she continued. “I know how important he is to you. I want to make sure that I meet him on a good day so I don’t scare him away.” The words made Robbe’s stomach twist—because Robbe knew that she would never scare anyone away—but he kept quiet. “So, maybe, we’ll talk about it next Wednesday? That way we can put everything together and make sure it's a good day for me.” 
Since the moment that his father had left them when he was 15, Robbe had vowed that he and his mama would be a package deal. Robbe loved his mama with everything he had and he wanted her in his life for as long as he could manage. Because his father left when things got too much, Robbe was left to help her with the pieces and took care of her on the days where she couldn’t get out of bed. 
And his mother knew this. 
Maybe it was why she put so much pressure on having a good day when she was meeting his boyfriends and why she was always sad when Robbe insisted on coming over on bad ones. On his mother’s bad days, Robbe felt it tenfold and took care of her because he knew that was what she needed. Sometimes, she welcomed his help, knowing that she needed to be taken care of occasionally. Other days, she despised it and it made her feel like a burden. 
At the end of the day, Robbe loved his mama with every fiber of his being and he would always take care of her. His mama loved him just as much—if not more. Since the months she spent in the hospital, Robbe wanted to do anything he could to help her feel better. He knew that he could never completely help her the way that she needed—he wasn’t her doctor nor was he studying to become one—but he wanted to help with the little things, such as washing the dishes or helping with dinner. 
And, if she insisted, he would wait so she could meet Sander on a good day, knowing that it would help relieve her anxiety. 
It was why, instead of arguing, Robbe reached over to take her hand. She gripped his hand back, shaking slightly, and Robbe pretended not to notice. Running his thumb along the knuckles of her hand, Robbe said, “We can play it by ear. I just wanted to ask you before I asked him.” Smiling, Robbe added, “I just really want him to meet my mama.” 
“I really want to meet him, too,” his mama said, sounding calmer. “Maybe we can talk on Tuesday and set it up.” Robbe nodded, grinning over at her. Before Robbe turned back to his food, she added, “But, if I’m feeling bad on Thursday, we can reschedule to the following week.” 
“Alright, Mama,” Robbe said. “Whether it’s next Thursday or the one after, it sounds wonderful and I know Sander will be excited to meet you.” 
His mama smiled, turning to her food. Letting out a laugh, she pushed herself to her feet and moved to the microwave as she took her container with her. Giggling, she said, “We talked so long that our food is getting cold. Do you want me to heat yours up, sweetheart?” Robbe shook his head and his mama smiled at him before turning back to the microwave.
Vrijdag 18:39
No matter how much Robbe asked, Sander remained tight-lipped about where they were going. 
During their phone call after Robbe got home from his mama’s, he pestered Sander into giving him information but the only response he got was a teasing smirk and a, “Do you not know the definition of a ‘surprise,’ Robin?” Throughout the rest of the call, Sander had teased him about what they were going to do but gave no real details or explanations. The teasing had only increased the nervous and exhilarating buzz that was present beneath his skin.
Not knowing where they were going frustrated Robbe to no end. 
However, at the same time, he was also eagerly anticipating whatever it was that Sander planned for their weekend getaway. Throughout his Friday afternoon stream—moved up to accommodate their trip—he was frequently phasing out of the match and getting killed when he shouldn’t have. About halfway into the second hour of the stream, his chat had a frightening realization and started screaming, or posting in all caps, “OH MY GOD, HE’S GOT A NEW BOYFRIEND,” which simply led to Robbe blushing profusely. 
Once he ended his stream, right at 17:00, Robbe made one last check that he packed everything that Sander had told him to bring as well as other necessities. Swimsuit, shorts, shirts, underwear, phone charger, shampoo, toothpaste, toothbrush… Robbe had packed everything. Now, all he had to do was wait for Sander to arrive at the flatshare to pick him up. As Robbe paced around his room for the fourth time, his phone dinged, announcing Sander’s arrival. 
Sander: I’m downstairs ;)
Throwing his bag over his shoulder, Robbe exited his bedroom and stepped into the hallway. Making sure to grab his phone and keys, he shouted goodbye into the nearly-empty apartment and practically flew toward the elevator. Outside the building, Sander was leaning against the passenger side door and grinned flirtatiously at him as Robbe approached.
“Where are we going?” Robbe asked, knowing he wouldn’t get an answer. 
Sander leaned down to kiss him and Robbe eagerly stood on his toes to meet him. Sander’s arms wrapped low on Robbe’s waist, pulling them flushed together. Robbe wrapped his arms around Sander’s neck, tugging him closer. Sander let out a low noise before pulling back. “Come on,” he said. Sander stood from against the door, taking Robbe with him, and opened the door with one hand. “We better get going.”
Robbe raised an eyebrow. Sander’s hand on his waist guided him toward the door. “But where are we going?”
A teasing smile spread across Sander’s face. “Get in the car and you’ll see.” 
“Sanderrrrrrr.” 
Once Robbe got in the passenger side, tossing his bag in the back seat, Sander closed the door behind him and moved to the driver’s side. Before they drove off, Sander started the David Bowie playlist. While Robbe wasn’t surprised, he also recognized the playlist immediately. Whenever the two of them were together, the playlist was always playing. Sander turned up the volume, sending him a grin, as Robbe simply rolled his eyes. Before driving away, Sander leaned over to press one final kiss against his lips. 
Throughout the drive, Sander held Robbe’s hand and quizzed him on the songs that came through the speakers. With each correct answer, Sander would beam over at him and squeeze his hand. Whenever he was struggling, Sander would give him hints and tease him the entire time. If he got a question wrong, Sander would tell him and remark that he needed to “study up” for his exam. 
After an hour of listening to David Bowie, Sander exited the highway. Still gripping Robbe’s hand, he navigated down long roads without pausing. Even though he could sense they were getting close now, Robbe still did not have a clue where Sander was taking him. As Sander guided them with expert ease, Robbe stared out the window, his eyes finding the large trees that stretched to the sky.
Unexpectedly, Sander slowed down and the blinker of the car flipped on. After a few minutes of wandering down a dark, narrow road, they emerged into a clearing with a cabin perched in the middle of it. 
The cabin was beautiful with a teal door that contrasted beautifully with the dark wood siding. The wall in front of them had large windows that peered into the living room and part of a beautiful kitchen. As Sander drove up to the cabin, Robbe could see a large backyard with a patio and possibly a pool behind the house. Once the car pulled to a stop, Robbe turned to Sander, who was staring at him nervously. 
“Do you like it?” Sander asked. 
“I do,” Robbe said. “But how much did this cost?”
“Didn’t cost anything.”
“Sander—”
“It didn’t cost me anything,” Sander said. He sat up in his seat and cupped Robbe’s cheek, swiping his thumb along his cheekbone and connecting the freckles. Without really thinking about it, Robbe leaned into his touch as Sander watched him with soft green eyes. “It’s Emilie’s cabin. When I mentioned getting out of town to surprise you, she offered the cabin. Normally, they come every weekend. I’ve been invited a few times. Alicia has a test on Monday so they aren’t coming this weekend.” 
“Really?” Robbe asked. 
“Really.” 
Sander leaned forward, connecting their lips. At first, the kiss was gentle and chaste; but the realization of them being alone without having to worry about roommates or streams was enough to break the proverbial dam of emotions. They hadn’t stepped out of the car, but their kiss became deeper, needier, and borderline desperate. 
Robbe tugged at the fabric of Sander’s work shirt, trying to pull him closer, but the hindrance of the console between them stopped Sander from being able to do so. One of Sander’s hands fisted at the hair on the nape of his neck, pulling enough to be pleasurable. His other hand dropped to Robbe’s waist, pulling his hips flush against the center, before slipping his hand beneath his shirt. Robbe gasped, trying to pull him closer, but to no avail. The console was still lodged between them. 
Sander let out a sigh, breaking the kiss. “Come on,” he said, turning the car off. Reluctantly, he untangled his hand from Robbe’s hair and reached in the backseat to grab the bags. “Let’s go inside.” Robbe nodded. Before he could manage to snag his bag, Sander was taking it out of his reach and stepping out of the car. Robbe stared at him in disbelief before climbing out of the car.
As Robbe stared up at the cabin in awe, Sander wrapped an arm around him. Robbe turned toward him, snaking his arm around his waist. “So, you didn’t spend money on this?”
“Not a dime,” Sander said matter-of-factly. Robbe let out a sigh of relief. “If you and I go out to get some food to cook later, I definitely will pay for it though. But even if it was the priciest cabin in the world, I would still do it because there is nothing in this world that is too expensive for you.”
Despite already knowing the answer, Robbe said, “At least let me pay for something.”
“No.”
“Sander.”
“No,” Sander said matter-of-factly before pressing a featherlight kiss on his lips. Robbe whined, trying to pull him closer, but Sander simply smirked and moved to the front door. As Sander fumbled with the extra set of keys, Robbe stood back, watching him with an amused grin. After a few minutes, the teal door swung open and Sander pulled him into the safety of the cabin. 
Immediately after stepping into the living room, there were two thumps somewhere behind him. 
Robbe turned, catching sight of their bags abandoned on the floor, before Sander was claiming his lips again. Robbe wrapped his arms around Sander’s shoulders, bringing their bodies flush together. They stumbled against the wall—Sander’s hand protectively cradling the back of his head before trailing down his body. They could’ve kissed for minutes or hours or maybe even days, simply lost in the feeling of being together and alone.
After their kiss, which felt like a glimpse of forever, Sander pulled away from him. 
His green eyes were blown wide and his lips were teetering on the edge of bright red. Robbe was certain that he didn’t look much better. But right now, he didn’t care. All he wanted was Sander, kissing him again, chasing that glimpse. 
“Come on,” Sander said. He sounded as wrecked as Robbe felt, his impatience threatening to overwhelm him. Sander tugged at the hem of Robbe’s shirt, pulling him from the wall and into an unfamiliar hallway. Without question, Robbe followed his movements, walking backward with Sander guiding him. He bent down, his lips brushing against Robbe’s as he said, “I’ll give you the grand tour.” 
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ravenbrenna09 · 4 years ago
Text
Jij Verliest - Chapter Seven: Clip 5&6
master list
...
note: I’m sorry, I’ve given up on actually making the texts. Also I didn’t italicize the texts because everytime I do, Tumblr doesn’t always get them all for whatever reason.
...
Maandag 11:52
Chat: Broerrrs + Luc
13 July, 11:52
Jens: ROBBE. IJZERMANS. What part of ‘text us about it’ did you not understand?
Robbe: Lucas. You could’ve warned me at least.
Lucas: Sorry.
Aaron: What happened to ‘Chill Jens’?
Moyo: Caps lock must’ve been on. 
Jens: Caps lock was on. Didn’t feel like changing it though. It served a purpose.
Moyo: What’s going on?
Aaron: Yeah, what do VDS know that we don’t?
Lucas: Um, do you want me to tell them?
Robbe: I can’t have one blissful Monday afternoon, can I?
Aaron: Of course not, it’s Monday.
Lucas: Robbe had a *visitor* this weekend. Someone who showed up on Friday night. And didn’t leave until this morning 👀 Should my sources be correct… 
Robbe: Zoë or Milan?
Lucas: My sources are confidential.
Moyo: Please tell me it was Sander.
Robbe: Yes, it was Sander.
Moyo: Thank god. Wait, are you being serious?
Jens: Yes! And *someone* forgot to tell us.
Robbe: I’m sorry, I was busy.
Aaron: Yeah, we know what you were doing all weekend.
Robbe: Cuddling and watching Harry Potter?
Moyo: You’re boring.
Robbe: Haha 🖕🏻 Sander didn’t think so. Also, who else would it be, Moyo?
Moyo: Worst case scenario? Thomas. Best case scenario? A random one nightstand.
Jens: Thomas? As if.
Moyo: That’s why it was the worst-case scenario.
Lucas: If it was Thomas, none of us would be able to stop Jens. And I’m thankful it’s not because I’m sick of his face. And my boyfriend isn’t in jail.
Aaron: Seconded.
Moyo: Third.
Jens: You guys know I almost always agree with Lucas. But I am also sick of Thomas’s face. And I would need bail money. 
Robbe: Yes, I know. I have a rotten ex-boyfriend. Luckily, I have a new one that’s ten times better.
Jens: Yes. Did he explain why he was distant?
Robbe: Yes, he did and I forgive him. I would’ve forgiven him anyway, but he did explain. And we’re together now.
Jens: Good. That’s all that matters.
Robbe: So, since we all know what *I* was doing this weekend: how were all of your weekends?
Lucas: the Netherlands was fun. Got to see Isa and the girls again. Plus, Mom kept trying to force-feed Jens. She told him he was too skinny.
Jens: She said the same thing to you. Why are you singling me out?
Aaron: Amber and I went out to lunch with her mom on Sunday.
Moyo: My girlfriend’s roommates were out on Saturday night. So we ended up cooking together. The first try was a bit of a disaster, but we managed to make something good the second time.
Robbe: That’s great. I’m glad everyone had fun.
Lucas: When are we going to meet this mystery girl, Moyo? You seem smitten.
Jens: Yeah, you do. And you call me whipped. You should see you.
Robbe: But you are whipped.
Jens: I’m not denying it. But he’s also whipped.
Lucas: You are.
Moyo: When are we going to meet Sander? As your friends, he’s just as important as you are.
Robbe: I don’t know. Probably about the same time that you introduce us to Noor.
Jens: Wait, Noor is your mystery girl?
Moyo: Aaron!
Aaron: I DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING. I haven’t even told Amber!
Jens: Wait, Aaron knew about this and not me? I’m offended, bro.
Lucas: I’d like to know how Robbe knew. Because if Aaron didn’t tell Amber, he didn’t tell Robbe.
Robbe: My source is confidential.
Moyo: Robbe, I hate you.
Robbe: Don’t hate me. She’s a great girl. Plus, it’s not like you two are sly. At our movie night, you two were far more comfortable than you should’ve been.
Moyo: Yeah, you’re right.
Jens: I feel like my entire world has changed. 
Dinsdag 17:45
When Robbe had stepped into the tattoo parlor a little before 17:00, Alicia had leapt over the edge of the counter and bounced across the empty lobby. She had tackled him, nearly causing both of them to crash onto the floor, and her electric blue ponytail smacked him in the face. Robbe recoiled slightly from the accidental slap before sinking into her embrace. Once she pulled away, she bounced on her feet, looking like she might explode from excitement. 
“I’m so happy to see you here again!” she said, grinning. “I was starting to worry that I would have to deal with grumpy Sander for the rest of my life.” Robbe chuckled and Alicia smiled proudly. “But I’m glad to see that you two have made up—you did make up, right? He has just seemed happier today and yesterday and I’m assuming it’s because of you.”
Robbe laughed. “Yes, we did.”
Alicia bounced again, still grinning. “That’s great! His shift is over in a few minutes…” She trailed off, eyeing him suspiciously. “But I have a feeling that you already knew that.” While Alicia continued to eye him with playful suspicion, Robbe shrugged and grinned. “Sorry, my mom always tells me that I seem strange to people who don’t know me. It’s just I’ve heard so much about you from Sander and he’s practically family so I’m pretty protective of—”
“No, it’s okay, I understand—”
As if on cue, Sander stepped out of the hallway. Even after a long day of work, his bleach-blond hair was still immaculate and pristine. Today, he was wearing another black shirt but this one had Emilie’s Tattoo Parlor printed across his chest. He looked tired, but Robbe wasn’t surprised. He had worked the early shift. 
Stopping at the desk, he placed down a binder and adjusted the strap of his bag a little higher on his shoulder. Glancing up, his eyes caught Robbe talking with Alicia. As soon as he spotted them, he grinned brightly over at them, all tiredness fading from his face, and said, “Alicia, leave my boyfriend alone.” His tone was light and teasing as he crossed the room. Sander wrapped Robbe in a hug before moving towards the parlor door. “I only have him for an hour before he has to go to work.” 
“Oh right,” Alicia said, smacking her head like she forgot. She grinned at Robbe, waving goodbye at the two of them. “Have a good dinner!” 
“Tell Britt hi!” 
Leaving the tattoo parlor, Robbe collected his bike before following Sander down a well-tuned series of turns to their destination. With one arm around Sander’s waist and the other steering his bike, Robbe felt like he was right where he was meant to. Robbe didn’t know where they were going—just to some restaurant that Robbe had to try—but he followed Sander’s gentle tugs and guidance with ease. Once they arrived at the hole-in-the-wall restaurant, Robbe locked his bike up and let Sander drag him inside. 
Robbe didn’t know what he had been expecting from the small restaurant, but it was one of the best pizzas that he’d ever had. As soon as they walked in, the cashier recognized Sander and proceeded to tease him about taking too long to bring his boyfriend around. When the cashier brought them their pizzas, moving before Sander could get up to get them, they were hot to the touch and fresh from the oven. 
As they ate their food, Sander would reach out to feed Robbe a bite of his or brush a hand on his thigh beneath the table. Every time Sander did something, paid attention to him, his heart grew three sizes. Even so early into their relationship, he felt so cared for. Robbe tried to do the same. He would reach out to hold his knee or hold Sander’s hand beneath the table. And Sander never shied away from Robbe’s touch. In fact, he seemed to blossom with it. 
As they left the restaurant, hand in hand and laughing, the cashier tried to say it was on the house for their favorite customer and his boyfriend. Robbe blushed profusely at their comment and Sander merely chuckled, thanking them. As soon as the cook called the cashier’s name, Sander quickly dropped the money to cover the order (and more) into the tip jar before dragging Robbe from the restaurant. 
Even though it wasn’t that long of a ride, Sander insisted on driving Robbe back to the flatshare. Their only trouble was getting Robbe’s bike in the car, but they managed to make it work by tilting it a little. The ride itself was short and relaxing. Sander drove with one hand on the wheel and the other was wrapped gently with Robbe’s hand. As he weaved through the traffic, Sander talked in vivid detail about a tattoo that he did earlier this afternoon as Robbe listened intently. 
As they pulled into a stop outside the building, Robbe got curious. “Hey, Sander.”
“Yeah?” Sander asked. 
“What were you thinking about, that night at the bar?” Robbe asked. 
It had been a question on Robbe’s mind for a while. His thoughts of the night were abundantly clear—okay, maybe slightly buzzed—that the random stranger with an armful of tattoos who sat down next to him and offered him a smoke and gave him an impromptu therapy session was hot. As he nursed his hangover the next morning, Robbe had briefly entertained the thought of meeting him again but Robbe had thought it was an impossible feat. Seeing Sander walk in that bar less than a week later… it had felt like a sign.
One that Robbe had been simultaneously curious and terrified of. 
When Sander was quiet, simply staring at the steering wheel with a small smile on his face, Robbe added, “I’m sure that it must’ve been one hell of a crappy impression.” 
Sander glanced up at him with a small look of disbelief and a scoff. “What makes you think that?” Sander teased. 
Robbe turned in his seat, facing Sander with a mischievous smile on his face. He placed their joined hands in his lap, running his finger over the back of his hand. “I don’t know, but if I saw a guy sitting quite dramatically on the floor—I think that was your wording,” Robbe said and Sander laughed, “and lamenting his ex-boyfriend, it wouldn’t have been the best first impression I’ve ever made.”
“I don’t know,” Sander said. He put the car in park before turning to Robbe, who was waiting impatiently beside him. Sander tugged their joined hands back into his lap before turning Robbe’s over so the palm was facing upward. Sander trailed a finger along the lines of his palm, leaving Robbe squirming in his seat. “I think you made quite the first impression.”
This time, it was Robbe’s turn to scoff. He leaned against the leather of the car, relishing in the feeling of Sander’s doodles on his palm. “You know as well as I do, I could’ve done a lot better than bitching about my ex with someone—”
“No,” Sander said, interrupting him lightly. His voice was quiet like he was having a private conversation with himself and Robbe watched on, biting down on his lip. “That wasn’t the time I meant.” 
Robbe’s eyebrows pulled tight, staring at him in confusion. “What do you mean?”
Sander’s eyes darted up to meet Robbe. He could see the panicked expression in his eyes, like he didn’t expect Robbe to hear his secret confession. Quickly, his expression shifted to nervous. A small lopsided grin formed on his lips as he tilted his head to the side. Sander’s hand fidgeted around his and Robbe twisted his hand around to grasp at Sander’s fingers. 
“Sander,” Robbe said. “What is it?” 
“Um,” Sander said, biting down on his lip. “Last August, I went to the bar with my roommates after a long day at work. While I was waiting for them to show up, I spotted this beautiful man standing at the bar talking with the owner like he did it every day.” 
Sander’s eyes raised, catching his brown ones in an instant, and Robbe was certain his heart stopped in his chest. Him, Robbe realized. Sander had seen him before. 
“Before I could work up the nerve to talk to him, to get the name of this beautiful man who turned my world upside down in an instant, his boyfriend showed up and whisked him away from me. I thought that was the end of it—that I missed my chance until…” Sander trailed off. 
Robbe felt his stomach flip, nervous and excited. Bringing Sander’s hand to his mouth, Robbe placed a kiss against his knuckles. Sander followed him with a heavy gaze in his eyes and the corners of his lips quirked up nervously. “Until?” Robbe asked, his lips brushing against Sander’s knuckles. 
“Until…” Sander continued. Robbe scooted closer to him—or as much as he could in the small confine of the car. He was practically leaning over the console, trying to get as close to Sander as he could. Sander glanced at Robbe nervously. “Until last month. It had been a rough few months, but I was starting to come out of it. It was my first time out of the apartment other than for work for a month and I looked over and saw the beautiful man in the bar again.”
Robbe giggled. 
“As soon as I saw him, I knew that he was the one. My mother used to tell me that there was no such thing as a coincidence,” Sander said, reaching up to wipe a thumb across Robbe’s flushed cheeks. “She used to go on and on about how ‘what is meant for you won’t pass you by’—”
“Is that what the quote on your side is?” Robbe asked, quietly. Sander paused, staring at him. “I saw it on Saturday but your arm was covering most of it.” 
Sander grinned. “Yes, it is. Now, back to the story—” 
Robbe mumbled out a quiet ‘sorry’ and Sander gave him a stern look. 
“When I saw that beautiful man for the second time, I knew that the universe was trying to give me a sign and I didn’t want to pass up the opportunity. When I saw him head outside to get some air, I followed. But I only managed to learn his name before the universe ripped him away from me again.” He let out a heavy sigh and slumped his shoulders. “But, lucky for me, I managed to find him again, not even a week later, and I knew that I couldn’t let him get away from me again.” 
“Wow,” Robbe said, breathless. Sander looked up at him with nervous eyes, staring at Robbe intensely. He let out a breath, reaching up to take Sander’s face in his hands. “You really saw me that long ago?”
“Yes,” Sander whispered. “Since the moment I saw you, I’ve wanted you, Robbe IJzermans… even before I knew what your name was.” His eyes scanned Robbe’s face. “Are you mad?” 
Staring at Sander for a few seconds, Robbe hastily undid the seatbelt around him. He could see the worried look on Sander’s face, like Robbe was going to climb out and never look back, but Robbe simply climbed on the seat. His knees dug into the leather as Robbe leaned across the center to press a deep kiss against Sander’s lips. He clung to the strands of Sander’s icy blond hair, holding on for dear life, as Sander let out a grunt. 
Since the beginning, Sander had always seen him. Whether it was last month outside the bar or last year inside the bar, Sander had seen him. He had seen Robbe in the comfort of his bed, in the disarray of a friendly gathering, desperate in a tattoo parlor, and so many moments in between. Robbe wanted Sander to see him in all of his moments and moods, just like he wanted to see all of Sander’s faces and facades. He wanted all of Sander, everything he could get them. 
Sander’s words from last Friday came rushing back: Robbe IJzermans, since the moment that I first saw you, I have wanted you. 
“So you’re not mad?” Sander asked, breaking their kiss. 
Robbe shook his head, practically panting against Sander’s mouth. “No, I’m not mad.”
“Good,” Sander said, quietly. “I was worried you might be.” 
“I’m not. I promise.” 
Robbe moved to kiss Sander again. Robbe wanted to kiss him a little harder. Robbe wanted to pour every single emotion bursting out of his chest into the kiss for Sander—for Sander to taste—at the same intensity Robbe was experiencing from him. But, at the last second, Sander pulled away a mischievous smile on his lips and Robbe couldn’t help the whine. “What were you thinking the night that you first saw me outside the bar?”
Robbe chuckled. “I could only think of one thing—” Pausing, Robbe leaned forward. His knees were strained from this position, but he didn’t care. Stopping a hair away from connecting their lips fully, Sander glanced up at Robbe with a mischievous look in his eye as Robbe grinned. “—Fuuucccckkk, he’s so hot.”
Sander laughed but his laugh was muffled by Robbe’s lips pressing against his. 
107 notes · View notes
ravenbrenna09 · 4 years ago
Text
Jij Verliest - Chapter Eight: Clip 2
master list
...
Zondag 13:26
It was the end of their trip, but Robbe didn’t want to leave the cabin or head home. Even though Robbe had been the one to insist on getting home to stream, the actual realization that they would have to leave the cabin to do so made him sad. There was a part of him that wanted to stay all afternoon in bed and he knew Sander would be willing to oblige him with ease. 
After staying beneath the stars until after 2:00, until their fire dwindled to wilting ash, they laid in the guest bedroom together and wrapped in each other. As they laid there, Robbe asked Sander how he felt during his episodes, what Robbe could do to help him, and their conversation ended up spiraling into stories. Sander told him about how he stole a kitten once, how Sander created one of his favorite personal paintings, how he repainted one of his bedroom walls with spray paint at the age of sixteen. 
When Sander got too sleepy, one eye shut more than the other, he asked Robbe about stories of his teenage years. So, as he raked a hand through Sander’s platinum blond hair, he recounted about his mother’s Valentine’s Day tradition, involving action movies and family. Sander had laughed as Robbe regaled the tale of how he and Zoë were scarred for life, finding Milan in the living room with a one-night stand. 
As Robbe told the story of how he broke his arm because one of their dumb vlogs, Sander fell asleep against Robbe’s chest. He was clutching tightly at Robbe’s shirt and his cheek was squished against his shoulder. Once Sander had fallen asleep, Robbe followed him into sleep soon after. 
When Robbe came to, Sander was still fast asleep in his arms. They hadn’t moved much. Robbe was still propped up against their pillows with his legs on either side of Sander’s waist. Sander was still resting with his ear against Robbe’s heart and had him in an iron grip. Robbe didn’t mind being wrapped in Sander’s sleep-infused grip and might’ve gone back to sleep. But Robbe’s growing need to use the restroom made him wake Sander up enough to slip out of his grip. 
The last few hours at the cabin were peaceful. 
Once they officially climbed out of bed for the morning, they washed the sheets and the grass-covered blanket from last night. When they made breakfast, Sander relented and allowed Robbe to whisk the eggs. When Robbe tried to help more, Sander had taken the bowl of whisked eggs from him and batted away his hand every time he tried. After they finished eating, Sander cradled Robbe against his chest on the couch with Elite playing on the television. 
As they laid on the couch, wrapped up in each other and love-drunk, time seemed to slip by and Robbe gripped Sander’s sides tighter. One episode turned to two and somehow, two turned into three or four because Robbe ended up falling asleep in Sander’s arms. When the sheets had finished drying, they remade the bed and Robbe folded the clean blanket up, placing it back in the cabinet where he found it. Once they had collected their bags, placing their leftover clothes in them, they were ready to leave the cabin behind. 
But before they have even left the driveway, Robbe could sense the hesitation as Sander moved to put the car in reverse. Sander swallowed, glancing at the cabin before turning his gaze to Robbe in the passenger seat, “Are you sure?”
For a heartbeat, Robbe thought Sander was talking about leaving the cabin—and, in all honesty, Robbe wanted nothing more than to cuddle Sander without worrying about streams or, worse, roommates. But he realized that Sander meant him—being together with him, loving him. Smiling gently, Robbe leaned over to kiss him. Sander kissed back gently, like he was something precious and delicate but also sturdy and strong, and Robbe leaned further into his kiss. 
Once they separated, Robbe breathed out. “Yes.” 
Sander smiled, soft and insecure, before he was kissing Robbe again. This kiss was a little needier, with Sander opening his mouth against Robbe’s and tugging on the strands of his hair. When their lips separated again, his mouth dropped open, but whatever he was going to say didn’t come out. Instead, he closed his mouth, grinning, and placed a longer kiss against his lips. “Come on,” Sander said, kissing Robbe’s cheek and patting his knee. “We better get going before your fans decide to yell at me for keeping you away all weekend.”
Robbe rolled his eyes. “They can wait five extra minutes.” 
Sander laughed, shaking his head. He turned toward the wheel as Robbe pouted. As Sander guided the car away from the cabin, pulling onto the street with ease, Robbe plugged his phone in and played the beginner David Bowie playlist through the speakers. As Heroes played, Sander reached over to take his hand. Robbe gripped onto him like a lifeline and pulled their joined hands into his lap again. 
The drive back was as peaceful as the stay in the cabin. As a kid, Robbe always loved long drives—the peaceful solitude, watching the world pass through the windows. With Sander at his side, holding his hand and letting him lean against his shoulder, the peaceful feeling increased tenfold. Robbe played with Sander’s fingers and let David Bowie’s voice roll over both of them. Somehow, the hour-long drive managed to pass in what felt half of that. 
Pulling up to the flatshare, Robbe let out a sigh. Sander parked the car and placed a gentle kiss against Robbe’s forehead. His eyes fluttered closed as he leaned against Sander’s shoulders. Robbe felt the weight of Sander’s head resting on his and let out a sigh. “I almost wish we never left.”     
Sander chuckled, his breath brushing over Robbe’s forehead. “Yeah, we could’ve stayed,” he said. “But we would’ve had an early drive in the morning. Emilie’s got me working the opening shift.” Robbe smiled, tilting his head to face him. Sander raised his head, his eyes practically closed as he stared at him. “Plus, you promised a Sunday and I’m looking forward to it.” 
“We still could’ve stayed,” Robbe said. “I wouldn’t have minded a late-night drive on a highway.” 
“They’re peaceful,” Sander said. 
“Yeah, but everything is peaceful with you.” 
Robbe thought it was too cheesy, his cheeks warming up instantly, but Sander seemed to enjoy it. He chuckled and nosed Robbe’s hair. Sander’s long fingers pushed Robbe’s hand wide. He trailed Robbe’s knuckles with the pads of his fingers. When Sander trailed his hand across his palm, Robbe shivered and giggled.
“I love you.”
The confession was soft and quiet like Sander was trying it out, like it wasn’t for Robbe to hear. But his lips brushed across the top of his head. It was for Robbe to hear, but only for them. Without removing his head from Sander’s shoulder, Robbe tilted his head back, catching the green hue of his eyes. There was a nervous look in his eye as they darted across his face.
“I love you, too.”
Sander grinned, happy and free, before dragging their lips together. Robbe felt the shift of the car which could only mean that Sander let off the brake. Sander turned, facing Robbe fully, and making it—somewhat—easier to kiss. Every time their lips separated, even for a second, Sander would manage to mumble another “I love you” and Robbe’s “I love you, too” was lost in their kiss. So Robbe poured all of the love that he felt into their next kiss, trying to mimic the intensity of his feelings. 
Of his love. 
When they pulled back, panting against each other’s mouths, Robbe clung to the fabric of his shirt, desperate to hold onto anything he could. Robbe tilted his head back and placed a fleeting kiss against Sander’s nose and listened to the resulting melodious laugh with glee.
“Go on,” Sander said. “You have to get upstairs and get something tasty to eat before you start the stream.”
“I don’t know,” Robbe said. Sander raised a curious eyebrow as Robbe tugged him closer by his shirt. “I’ve got something tasty right here.” Even though Robbe could feel the growing flush on his face and the embarrassment forming in his stomach, the loud, surprised laugh from Sander was well worth it. 
Sander kissed him again. “Go on, before I carry you up there.”
“What? You can’t carry me all the way up there.” 
“Oh, yeah?” Sander asked, raising an eyebrow. “Try me.”
Robbe rolled his eyes, grabbing his duffel bag from the back seat. With minimal effort, he tugged it into his lap with ease. Turning back to Sander, who was watching him with a stern look, Robbe said, “I love you.”
Almost immediately, the stern look disappeared from Sander’s face and a smile grew back in its place. “I love you, too.” Robbe leaned over the console to steal one last kiss and Robbe obliged him happily. Sander tugged at the strands of his hair, pulling him closer, before letting him go. “Good luck,” he said, his lips brushing against Robbe’s. They kissed once more. “And have a good stream.”
“You’ll be watching, right?”
“Always,” Sander promised.
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