#plus her character song REALLY gets to me. like shes well aware hes always been watching and protecting her and she cherished it deeply

[lavendorii]

Sixth ending

[hmspogue]

Outer Banks season 2 Official Trailer shot-by-shot rundown

A comprehensive post where I scream about analyze the entire trailer frame by frame for clues, theories, and plot. Just my own opinions and general tin foil-hatting

These are screenshots from Netflix’s trailer for Outer Banks season 2. I do not claim or own any of these.

note: this post is tagged as a long post if you wish to avoid having to scroll until your thumbs break.

“My old man used to tell me, ‘it’s best to never say you’ve hit rock bottom’.”

(Putting all of these shots together since they’re scenes we already know but-) Holy shit, okay let’s just....start off like this I guess, damn.

“'Trust me’, he said...”

Kiara looking back and forth between the boys like this really just feeds the headcanon I have that her form of grief this season is going to be her trying to hold it together for their sakes (and eventually just snapping).

JJ just looks fucking furious someone give these kids a hug? I already know this scene is going to ruin me.

“You can always go...”

JJ back working at the hotel. He looks literally so angry again in this scene I could see him self destructing at work and losing his job? (Please do not be isolating yourself you beautiful son of a bitch even though I know you’re going to).

Pope in the Twinkie (costuming wise they all are in warmer looking clothes for some of the shots, so just confirming it’s a little bit into the school year when this all takes place).

“Lower”

Big John was real big into pep talks, I see. (seriously can you imagine Big John having this conversation with like 8 year old John B after he fucking dropped his ice cream cone or some shit I shouldn’t be laughing).

I’m just-

These poor kids, I wanna know how the police all the way down in the Bahama’s knew about them?

Their calves....

“RUN!”

Are going to be so fucking jacked by the end of this season I stg.

Fuck you.

“The gold from the Royal Merchant....it’s here.”

For a while, I had thought that maybe they didn’t even make it to the Bahama’s at the front of the season and ended there (because everyone had been filming in there). But I guess they’re going to be making two trips.

If I were a bird from this POV I’d shit right on that house no questions asked.

oooooh ho hokay. Just so we’re clear. Ward Cameron not only get away with murder and about two dozen other felonies, but-

“Half a billion.”

HE STILL FINDS THE GOLD IN THE CRAIN HOUSE AND GETS TO KEEP IT?

Not the polo with the snap back, I just know this man has a playlist called Sad Boi Hours that is just Juice WRLD’s top 5 songs on Spotify and he tells his friends they wouldn’t know the underground artists he listens to.

Sh, you have lost screaming privileges. Go inside and take a nap maybe.

“John B, we are fugitives in a foreign country.”

So, previously, I was talking about how I was confused how they would still be trying to find him is everyone thought he was dead, but here the wanted poster clearly says “presumed lost at sea”. I think that will be interesting to see how the Pogues all interpret that. 

Especially because they already had a memorial for John B and everything, I wonder if there will be any part of the Pogues holding out hope that they both could still be out there OUCH.

I’m going to circle back to this, but it looks like John B and Sarah are going to get separated for a little while in this man hunt, I could see my idiot himbo son trying to sacrifice himself so Sarah can get away but in reality just....stranding her.

“Promise me you won’t do anything stupid?”

Oh, sweetie....

“Well, Sarah Cameron, I do stupid things all the time without realizing it.”

The volume of his self awareness is astronomical. sir, that is your whole character summed up in your own words.

GOD, IT’S ME AGAIN. PLEASE LET THEM LEAN INTO COMPLETE HIMBO JOHN B THIS SEASON I’LL DO ANYTHING-

nyyooooOOOOOOOOOOOOM-

“Hold on!”

The complete abject terror I would feel having John Booker Routledge driving get-away and then saying the words “Hold on” while reaching fro the gear shift? The english language fails me. 

Sarah, bestie, I’m so sorry.

I just wanna know-

what the plan or objective was in this situation. What was the reason for being this dramatic.

Rest in piss, bozo <3

“Ward’s still out there...”

Okay, same conversation they were having as before. I wonder what makes them decide they need to get back to the OBX for this tho.

“I can clear my name. This can all be over in one shot.”

It looks like Topper watching this but way more concerningly, correct me if I’m wrong but this 100% looks like....John B gets caught. And the DEATH PENALTY?! He did have a mug shot for the fliers in s1 and the one above but he was never brought in? Plus he just looks super dirty and dishevled in this one so I-

Jail break anyone?

I also still want to know if they’re going to go with a Topper redemption arc this season. like, does he know more than he should just from being around Rafe and his big fat mouth? Is he going to help out the Pogues even if it’s just for Sarah?

This shot just suddenly made me really sad. The thought of this all started because Big John left one last thing for his son to find, his literal life’s work. And when it all started, it was just a fun adventure John B and his best friends were going on together and having fun with. Then it all got dragged to absolute shit and turned into what it did, including the remaining 3 Pogues thinking that this treasure hunt took their two best friends away from them. And it’s nothing like Big John intended it to be.

Why my eyes wet?

Now we’re edging into what I was talking about earlier with John B and Sarah getting separated.

“If you think there is anything I wouldn’t do...”

Once again, John B is no where to be found. Also, just in case y’all didn’t already know or forgot Ward is an actual psychopath.

I believe this one of the new character, played by Jontavious Johnson (Stubbs). Based on the voice over it lowkey sounds like they’re implying Ward maybe hired Stubbs and Cleo to find and bring Sarah back. My theory would be I bet they do go to retrieve her, but she somehow convinces them that it would be more beneficial for them in the end to be on the Pogue’s side instead.

Miss Girl you gotta be keeping your head on a SWIVEL. Especially when you’re a FUGITIVE of the LAW-

“...you haven’t been paying attention.”

My guy, who are you clarifying this for?

It’s what you deserve for monologuing.

in all seriousness, the idea of them coming to face to face with Ward in Nassau after thinking they finally escaped him is genuinely terrifying.

“SARAH!”

It kind of looks like they’re either hiding their faces or covering their noses? I don’t know maybe it was from some tactic to get away from Ward.

What did I literally jsut say about yelling privileges, you unhinged mother fucker?

“I’m calling the shots now. I’m driving.”

The following progression of scenes made me actually snort-

“I can’t drive stick.”

PLEASE THE FINGER GUNS LAUNCHED ME INTO ORBIT I LOVE THEM, YOUR HONOR.

Alright, so now it looks like we’re in Charleston. This is the same scene with Heyward’s truck that got leaked from BTS (read: JJ and Kie shoulder touch).

One of the main things that stuck out to me in the following scenes which, you will see, is it lowkey looks like Pope is kind of heading up this part of the operation, or even going in alone? The following clips are just very Pope focused. 

I don’t know what it means, it’s just an observation.

“John B was not the only one that Ward double-crossed.”

LIMBRY-

Bro, we have been hearing about this woman for literal months and I just have....so many questions? 

Who the hell is she? How is she connected to Ward? Why is she in South Carolina instead of the OBX? How do the Pogues even learn about her and how to track her down? How is she meant to “help” them? GAH I JUST WANNA KNOOOW. I already know I don’t trust her though and no I will not be offering up supporting evidence.

Sir, that is my son please unhand him.

“I think you know what I want.”

.......no? But feel....free to explain yourself?

The print on the paper is the same one that’s on the ceiling tiles in the following scene. Obviously, with a key on it that most likely goes to the place a few shots from now.

Hell yeah, son, let’s get SLEUTHING.

“The treasure belongs to the Pogues.”

DAMN STRAIGHT.

Bestie’s I’m not going to lie, I stared at this frame for a solid 10 minuets and I have no idea what it says on there I’m sorry. Someone in the comments is welcome to enlighten us.

“We gotta find it first.”

I can’t tell if that’s just dirt or if he hurt his head? But he look GOOD right now for one thing. For another, same outfit as the one in the Twinkie from the beginning of the trailer.

Look at her. LooK AT HER! LOOK! AT! HER! I MISSED HER SO MUCH even in that damn smiley face top that continues to haunt my waking hours she is in it so much and it stresses me out for literally no good reason I’m sorry-

I could literally cry right now and I think that speaks volumes to how little we actually see him genuinely happy. Have I mentioned how much I love that red hat?

Also, probably not that important, but this is not from the same scene as the shots of Pope and Kiara were. This is from the next one-

“Woogity-woogity?”

“Give me some woogity, baby!”

Yeah, this pushed me over the fucking edge, the way that they’re actually happy and laughing? The fact that they kept woogity-woogity and made it A Thing? Yes.

I am, however, going to be intentionally ignoring what appears to be the very intentional stagingof having such an obvious space between where Kiara and Pope are sitting adn where JJ sits, even including the level they’re sitting on because I don’t have the emotional capacity to face those implications right now. Thank you for your time.

Yes yeeeeEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

GIVE ME ALL OF THE SCENES OF THEM ACTUALLY GETTING TO BE TEENAGERS AND JUST BREATHE AND LAUGH AND HAVE A GOOD TIME AND NOT BE RUNNING FOR THEIR FUCKING LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!

before Rafe comes in and literally starts shooting because they can’t breathe for more than 7 seconds but we’ll....get to that.

They refer to Sarah as a Pogue this season or I burn Netflix to the ground. Your move, Jonas.

50 bucks says John B is driving the Twinkie again for the first time since being back.

I deadass think the Pogues JUST got Sarah and John B back and they’re just having the time of their life. Kie was in her smiley face outfit when Pope was in this one a few clips ago, and I still hold to the belief that that one still they released of JJ and Kie hopping over a fence is the Pogue reunion so-

Ward? I have no idea what he’s looking at behind the wall paper and I’ll be so honest I don’t care my eyes are only seeing Pogue content right now.

“This is a map of the whole island.”

This fit, when will John B learn how to operate buttons, stay tuned for season 5. Also my previous theory of this being their reunion outfits and stuff because Pope is in the back in the same jacket as before.

The plot thickens and so has JJ’s hair, Rudy drop the shampoo brand.

Please, dear God, tell me they’re back in the sex church. For @jiaaraa sake.

Kiara, your Madison is showing.

Okay, I really did try but all I can make out is Something to the tomb begin something something.

You’re welcome.

I am no expert but I do not believe boats operate on land.

John B looks like he is in the same outfit here that is in his mug shot we saw on the TV screen so I have a sneaking suspicion this is where he gets caught. 

“John B is back-”

Once again with the damn sexual tension that’s always between Barry and Rafe in every scene they do are we about to kiss right now?

“-it’s him or me.”

First of all, no.

Second of all, I’m just....so very confused about this time line this season. It kind of looks like Ward and Rafe follow and find Sarah and John B in Nassau (unless those scenes by the truck were actually back in the OBX). So did they....go to Nassau, then just come right back when they did? I’m just confused.

Put that thing back where it came from or so help me.

Literally when will you stop at this point I am begging you. 

This looks like the same scene the Pogues were, ya know, literally just having a good time at so fuck me, I guess.

Yeah, no, it’s going to be a no from me, I’m just going to pretend like I’m not seeing this and moving on.

I have simply no idea what is going on here or who that is on the bike but maybe JJ? Maybe Luke even? I think that’s JJ’s bike. 

The sewer scene. The SEWER SCENE-

For months sicne that tiktok leaked this damn scene has been genuinely all I could think about. So (obviously) it seems like they’re sending Kie down into the sewer to go do seomthing and things go horribly, horribly wrong. 

If you haven’t seen the tiktok, essentially all it was was JJ and Pope screaming and trying to lift up the man hole cover while Kie is begging for them to hurry from inside. I’m cheating a little bit as this isn’t a shot from the trailer but this picture was posted and it’s from the same scene.

I’ll just....leave this here. Back to the trailer shots.

Nice. Also, same shirt as mugshot.

Hey, um, what? 

Kiara’s car, she’s driving, I can’t tell who’s in the back seat or the front.

Holy God what is going on and how can I as an audience member put a stop to it?

So, same scene as we will see and was in the teaser but, for some reason, they’re all jumping off of a giant ass boat into the little life raft where it looks like JJ gets hurt later but don’t you worry we’re getting to that.

JJ AND KIARA WITH THE POGUE HANDSHAKE JJ AND KIARA WITH THE POGUE HANDSHAKE THEY BOTH LOOK SO DAMN GOOD AND THEIR LITTLE SMILES SPARE ME-

Cleo 🥵

I’m so excited to see her arc and what it brings this season you guys have no idea.

Please for the love of God be about to get Ward Cameron’s ass like he deserves literally punt him into jail right from Tanny Hill.

Sarah at My Druther’s with what looks like a bloody bandage on her side? Same outfit she’s wearing when they’re running from the police on the beach and she has the bandage there too so. Interesting. 

Topper hugging who I’m pretty sure is Sarah, being a general douche because he’s clearly looking at John B like 😏 

Clips like these serve to remind me just how many of my worldly posessions I would gladly give up to be able to punch Topper Thorton in the throat one time. 

I think this is Cleo jumping off the boat with Pope after John B and Sarah. 

Absolutely busting a lung at Pope’s form in this one.

John B and Sarah waiting in the life raft, still Cleo and Pope coming after them. The obvious next question is where are JJ and Kiara. The scene I’m sure you all have been waiting for is coming up and clearly takes place in the life raft as well.

So, I really think JJ and Kie get left for last, something horrible happens as they’re trying to jump (my head instantly goes to JJ maybe like pushing Kie out of the way and getting hit on the head instead or even just some accident). 

And, oh my GOD a scene of him falling off the boat after it happens and Kiara diving in after him immediately, having to desperatly try to stop him from sinkingand get to the life raft holy shit-

Girl CATCH HIM?????

Because why wouldn’t this be Rafe’s fault. Part of me wonders if this isn’t related to JJ being hurt.

I am going to try and unpack this as calmly as possible because behind my computer screen I am vibrating at a frequency that could shatter glass but respectfully.

WHAT IN THE FUCK IS TIAUEWFHLAILA

Okay, so scene wise, JJ’s hit his head somehow (probably while he was jumping with Kiara) it looks like and now they’re back on the raft. 

In my opinion, this is either:

A) JJ is in really, really bad condition after getting hurt in the jump and they’re not sure he’s going to make it. So this is a “Please stay with me, stay awake, please don’t die” hug OR

B) They very narrowly just avoided a deadly situation (my first thought is JJ hits his head while jumping, passes out in the water, maybe almost drowns but Kie and the others get him onto the life raft in time) and this is more of a “Oh my God, you’re okay, you’re safe now, we’re okay” hug. 

I honestly lean more to the second one based on the little bit of Sarah’s face we saw in the background. To me, it almost looked like she was smiling thru tears, which, fits way more with the second option than the first. 

Anyways. Moving on before I burst a lung again.

(also, before anyone comes at me, no, I’m not happy JJ is hurt, obviously.  

(Once again, arrest outfits). You can still see the bandage but it looks like Sarah’s limping now too so...good Lord give the girl a break maybe?

Everything in this trailer just went to shit so fast I think I have whip lash, can we go back to the Pogues hanging out and being happy now pkease I liked those scenes.

“I get it. You guys are scared.”

“No.”

She’s cute but, uh, hello sewer scene outfits. Seems like them planning to do whatever the hell they were going to do in the sewers but the boys are starting to get cold feet as maybe they should but hind sight is 20/20 I suppose.

“It’s kind of cute.”

“I’m not scared.”

“You should’ve just led with that.”

I will never be able to express how much I adore Pogue banter and general dumbassery and I have a feeling this season will not be lacking in either department

I high key don’t think these two are actually going to be there for this scene to go down but I’ll let it slide this time because-

They do be kinda cute.

It both feels like I’ve been waiting for this damn show for 3 years and also like I just watched season 1 last month explain that to me. 

Either way holy shit. I missed this dumb show and these dumb kids so much it physcially hurts and WE GET THEM BACK IN T-MINUS 16 DAYS.

Also. Where The Hell Is Wheezie Cameron And When Will She Have The Rights She Deserves.

[thebigbadbatswife]

One Single Thread Of Gold Tied Me To You

Summary - Everyone is tied to their soulmate with a red thread tied to their wrist. All except Y/N’s, who’s thread is gold. Tired of waiting for her soulmate to come and find her, she decides to go and find them. It doesn’t go quite how she expected it to.

Warnings - A little angst

[A/N] - This is a soulmate au where you and your soulmate are attached by an unbreakable red thread (or, in this case, gold), tied to your wrist. This was inspired by the song 'Invisible String' by Taylor Swift.

Word Count - 4k

As the early morning sun slowly filtered into your room, through your blinds, you carefully examined the thread attached to your wrist. Everyone had one; it was your link to your soulmate. Yours was different to everyone else though. While everyone had red, yours was gold. As you turned your wrist, it caught the sunlight and glistened a little.

Everyone you knew had always been fascinated by it. As was nearly every stranger you met. Why was it gold? What exactly made you and your soulmate so different to everyone else’s? Questions you had often asked yourself as well. Why were you two so different?

Your family had a theory that whoever it was, they were rich. Very rich. That was surely the reason it was gold. Nothing else made sense to them. Meanwhile your friends were completely convinced that your soulmate was some kind of God.

“Come on, Y/N! It’s the only thing that makes sense!” Tracey said before taking another sip of her third glass of wine. Her usually bright emerald eyes were glazed over from all of the alcohol. “Why else would it be gold?”

“You gotta admit, Tracey might be drunk right now, but she has a good point!” Skylar joined in. She took her brown eyes off the blonde and looked over at you before continuing. “Oh! What if your soulmate is like Wonder Woman or Superman or something! How cool would that be?”

You rolled your eyes and took a sip of your own glass of wine. “Stop it. You’re both being ridiculous,” you had told them because they really were being ridiculous. There was no way your soulmate was a member of the Justice League, let alone an Amazonian Princess or the Man of Steel.

You were, of course, curious of your soulmate yourself. Who wouldn’t be curious of the person they’re destined to end up with? But you didn’t think up the crazy theories your friends and family liked to come up with. Instead you wondered things like, what kind of hobbies do they have? What’s their favourite colour? What type of music do they listen to? Were they a cat person or a dog person? And other things like that.

Another thing about the thread that tied you to your soulmate was that, while everyone could see the thread around your wrist, only you and soulmate could see where it led. While you had always wanted to follow it, you had decided that it would be better to focus on having a decent job and place to live first.

During that time a small part of you had hoped that maybe your soulmate would come looking for you, but since they clearly weren’t, maybe you should? After all, you had a well paying job and a great apartment, so why not? Every job was legally required to allow people time off to go search, so that wouldn’t be an issue. It was paid time off as well so you didn’t have to worry about money. You also had a car so you wouldn’t have to spend a shit ton of money on travel. At least, you hoped you wouldn’t. In truth, for all you knew, your soulmate could be in a completely different country. Now that would certainly complicate things.

Shaking that thought away (because there was no way fate could be that cruel), you got out of bed and set about putting the wheels in motion that would allow you to start following your thread

‘ Welcome to Gotham City! ’ the sign read as you drove past it. When you had told those close to you, your plan, they had been super supportive. Now, if they knew where your thread had lead you, you doubted they’d be as supportive. Hell, even you were rethinking things now. Out of all the cities for your soulmate to be in, it just had to be this one.

How did you know it was this city that they resided in and it wasn’t just another stop along the way? It was hard to explain, but you had a feeling deep within your gut, almost like a sixth sense that just yelled “Yep! This is the place!”.

You felt extremely uneasy as you drove through the city. It was night-time as well which did absolutely nothing to help. Honestly, of all the times to arrive in Gotham, night-time was definitely the worst. Well, there was nothing you could do about that now, you just had to keep on going, so you did.

The golden thread snaked through the gothic city and went from the “posh” part of the city all the way to the worst part of the city. The buildings were run down and most of the windows were boarded up. Each turn you took there were shiftier and shiftier characters on every corner. You started to get the feeling that you really shouldn’t be here. Plus you were starting to wonder if you really wanted to know who your soulmate was if they were hanging out in neighbourhoods like this.

You brought your car to a stop in front of a particularly dark and sinister looking alleyway. A particularly dark and sinister looking alleyway that your golden thread lead straight into. Coming to this part of this city was already a bad idea. Continuing to follow that thread to what had to be your certain doom was even worse. Yet, at this point in your mission, you were pretty much committed.

You couldn’t help out a quiet and very nervous laugh as you climbed out of your car. ‘ This is fucking insane ,’ you thought as you stepped out of your car. Before shutting and locking it (though you doubt that would do much to protect it in this area), you grabbed your pepper spray. ‘ I really hope your worth all this .’

As you followed the thread down the alleyway, you heard a sudden loud bang. A gunshot. You stopped in your tracks and you could feel your heart pick up its pace. Your thread lead in the direction the shot had come from. ‘ I really hope you weren’t involved with that .’ Taking a deep breath, you continued down the alleyway.

The alleyway lead out onto another street. There was a small crunching sound as you stepped out onto the street. Taking a step back, you looked to the ground to see what you had just stepped on. The ground was littered with small shards of glass. Looking up, you figured the shards of glass were from the bulbs from the streetlamps. Something had broken them. It didn’t take you long to figure out what, or rather who ,was responsible.

Further down the street, taking on group of ten men, was none other than Gotham’s Caped Crusader. The Batman.

You quickly ducked back into the alley you had just left. You then carefully peered around the wall, so you could watch the fight. You were well aware of the fact that your thread was leading straight toward the fight. Which meant that your soulmate was involved.

You watched the fight intensely, both intrigued and terrified to figured which one of the men was on the end of your thread. There was a voice in the back of your head praying hardcore that it was the hero in the centre of the fight.

Batman was a blur of black and dark grey as he rapidly made his way through the group of men. With a variety of different punches, kicks and gadgets, he made short work of them. During his combat flow, you followed your thread with your eyes and a small gasp left you as you realised who the other end was attached to.

Holy fuck. You’re friends had, kind of, been right. While your soulmate wasn’t Wonder Woman or Superman, like they had suggested, he was apart of the Justice League’s ‘Big Three’. Your soulmate was Batman . At least now you knew why he hadn’t come looking for you. He’d been busy saving the world.

Now you had to figure out how to approach him before he ended up disappearing into the night.

Exiting your cover, you took your thread between your finger and thumb and gently tugged on it a couple of times.

Batman looked at his end of the thread curiously as your tugs had gotten his attention. Then his head drifted upwards, following where it lead till his eyes settled on you.

If he was shocked, he didn’t show it. He just stood there, his eyes never leaving you. Part of you wanted to cower away from the intense stare, but you willed yourself not to. He was your soulmate, and you weren’t a criminal,  you had no reason to be afraid.

“You shouldn’t be here,” he said, finally ending the silence between you. His voice was deep and almost robotic sounding. Probably some sort of voice modulator to help hide his identity, you figured.

“In Gotham? Yeah, this place really sucks,” you replied, thinking about all the things you had heard about this city, “but I came here to find my soulmate; to find you.”

“You shouldn’t have.” His voice was sharp and serious as he spoke. He also sounded irritated at your sudden appearance, which caused you to frown. That couldn’t be right… could it?

“What?” You hated how meek and pathetic your voice sounded, but you couldn’t help it. Wasn’t this supposed to be a happy moment? One of the happiest in your life in fact. Instead you felt like you were being scolded rather than meeting the person who was supposed to be your other half.

“I didn’t want to meet you. Now I suggest you go home. It’s not safe here.”

What? You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. There was pressure behind your eyes and your throat tightened. You took a shaky breath as you took a step backwards away from him. It quickly sunk in that the man you’d been destined to be with, the man you had thought about since you were old enough to understand the concept of a soulmate, wanted nothing to do with you.

“I-I’m sorry I disturbed you.” Your voice broke as you fought back the tears that threatened to fall. You weren’t going to give him that satisfaction. You then turned around and ran back toward where you had left your car.

As fast as you could, you started your car up and made your way to a safer part of the city. It didn’t take you long to find a somewhat empty parking lot to park in. Once the engine was off, you screamed and aggressively slammed against the wheel as you let the tears freely fall.

You felt like a complete and utter fucking idiot. Of course he didn’t want you. You’d probably just get in the way of him saving the world or something like that. Besides, what was that article you had seen a few months ago? Something about Catwoman and a relationship between the two? While it happened very rarely, some people in the world had been known to reject their soulmate because they had found someone they deemed better. Is that what had happened? Whatever the reason, you could feel your heart breaking.

You had used to think that, out of all the members of the Justice League, Batman had been one of the cooler members. Now all you could think was that he was a massive jerk.

Maybe it was your own fault for romanticising the whole thing and thinking that your meeting would be something out of a fairytale. Apparently fate was far crueller than you could have ever thought it to be.

Bruce watched as she ran away from him, back down the alleyway she had come from. A small voice in the back of his head told him to go after her. To grab her, hold her close and apologise, tell her that he hadn’t meant it. He ignored it and headed off in the opposite direction, back to where he had left the batmobile.

Over his comms, he heard a barely audible sigh and he could easily picture his butler and lifelong friend shaking his head in disappointment. No doubt he was going to get an earful once he got back to the batcave. Well it certainly wasn’t the first time.

As the batmobile pulled up in the batcave, he could see Alfred waiting for him. ‘ Here we go ,’ he thought as he got out of his car and removed his cowl.

“I don’t want to hear it,” he stated as he walked past him and toward the batcomputer. He set his cowl down on the desk. Even as the words left his mouth he knew he had wasted his breath. If there was one thing that Alfred had done consistently since Bruce had started down this path, it was letting him know when he disagreed with something he did.

“Was that really necessary Master Bruce? She’s come all of this way…” Alfred started, but ended up trailing off. There was a small moment of silence before he continued. “You know, I remember a small boy who couldn’t wait to go out there and find…” Before he could finish what he was saying, Bruce promptly cut him off.  

“What would you have me do, Alfred?!” His voice echoed off of the cave’s walls and disturbed some of the bats still hanging on the ceiling. Bruce gestured toward his equipment and the display cases that held some rather badly damaged batsuits. All of them testaments to injuries that had come far too close to killing him. “Would you really have me force this life on to her? The dangers, the no guarantee I’ll come home…” He took a deep breath and rested both his hands on the surface of his desk. “She deserves so much better.” His voice was quiet, but still easily heard in the, almost, silent cave.

“With all due respect, sir, I believe she should be allowed to make that decision, not you,” Alfred replied before leaving the batcave, not giving Bruce a chance to respond.

He looked in the direction of the stairs that lead up into the manor. The direction that Alfred had headed in. Was he right? Should he be leaving it up to her to decide what she wanted? But with all the dangers he faced nightly… No, it was better for him to stay far away from her.

Over the following week Bruce found himself distracted. It didn’t matter where he was, what he was doing, he couldn’t focus. And considering what he did once night fell over Gotham, to say being unfocused really wasn’t good was a complete understatement of the situation. He had been having far too many close calls recently.

He couldn’t get it out of his head. The way she had looked at him as he told her he didn’t want to meet her, that she should leave. Alfred’s words echoed in his mind and he found himself questioning the decisions he had made that night. Something that Bruce rarely, if ever, did. Everything he did was meticulously planned and there was never any doubt when he made a decision. Was this what happened once you met your soulmate and rejected them?

Bruce was sure that the rest of the Justice League had taken notice. With how off beat and slow to react to certain things, it would be hard not to. Of course, if they had, none of them had mentioned it to him. Apparently they knew better. For the time being, at least. He was sure it wouldn’t be long before they did try to pry into his personal life.

Which lead him here. On the roof of the building opposite of Y/N’s apartment building. He hadn’t needed to do any extensive research to find her, or learn her name, because he had been in this exact spot a couple of years ago.

Two years ago Bruce’s own curiosity had gotten the better of him. He blamed Clark and his soulmate, a reporter by the name of Lois Lane, for it. He had seen them one too many times in the Watchtower together and had found himself wondering who exactly his soulmate was and what they was like. As a result, he had gone looking for them. Not because he wished to finally meet them, but so he could make sure his soulmate was safe and happy. And she was, so he had left. Only ever checking up on her every now and then to make sure she had stayed that way.

He looked down at the golden thread that came out of his gauntlet and lead down toward the apartment he’d been watching. Both as Bruce Wayne and Batman he had made sure to keep it well hidden. With its unique colouring he couldn’t allow anyone to see it. It would be all too easy for his enemies to find her if they did see it.

He knew that by being here he was easily undoing everything he had done to keep her safe, but, then again, had she not done exactly that when she had tracked him down in Gotham? Besides, and while he would never say it out loud, Alfred had been right. It should be up to Y/N to decide whenever or not she wanted all the baggage that came with him being in her life. Baggage that had driven more than one person from his life…

He shook that thought from his head and got up from his crouched position on the roof. Bruce then leapt from the roof and allowed himself to fall for a couple of seconds before opening up his cape and let it catch the wind that was rushing past him. He silently glided over to her apartment’s balcony.

Y/N was in her apartment alone. She was sat on her sofa, the light from the tv was the only thing illuminating the room.

Bruce was unsure of how exactly to go about this. Back in Gotham he had originally thought of approaching her as Bruce Wayne, but quickly discarded it. Bruce Wayne showing up at an out of the way apartment building was sure to garner attention. As would Batman using the front door, so the balcony had seemed to be the best option. But now that he was here, he wasn’t entirely sure it was.

Should he just knock? That seemed like the best way to go about this. It was going to scare the everloving daylights out of her, but he could deal with that.

He gently rapped the glass of the balcony door with his knuckles. As he had expected, Y/N leapt up from her seat. A bowl and the contents of the bowl followed her and scattered across her carpeted floor. She spun around and when she saw him, the look of shock on her face quickly turned to anger. Her eyes narrowed and he swore that glare would be enough to make even the toughest of Gotham’s thugs would cower at its intensity. Maybe she would deal with his life better than he thought.

After a minute of glaring at him, she turned around and walked toward the lightswitch. At the same time, she gestured for him to enter.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing here?” she demanded as soon as he had entered the apartment and shut the door behind him. The rage in her voice was evident and Bruce was sure he could cut the tension in the room with a batarang.

“I came to apologise,” he said, his voice gentle despite how distorted his modulator made it sound. Y/N scoffed immediately. He didn’t blame her. If he was in her shoes, he wouldn’t believe him either. After all ‘Batman’ wasn’t exactly known for making apologies.

“Yeah right.” She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest.

“I’m being truthful. I… I shouldn’t have said what I said. It wasn’t right.”

“Then why did you say it?” A fair question and one he had an answer to. Before he even said it, Bruce was aware how cliché it sounded.

“I wanted to keep you safe. This life isn’t for everyone.”

“So without even meeting me, you decided that it wasn’t for me.” She shook her head. “That’s not your decision to make!” she yelled at him.

“I know. It’s been pointed out to me before.” In fact that night in the cave wasn’t the first time Alfred had told him that. “But that’s why I’m here now. To give you all the information you need to make that decision.”

You listened intently as Batman explained the dangers of the life he was leading. The dangers that effected the people in his life in one way or another. He also made it a point to reiterate the fact that when he left at night or was summoned by the Justice League there was no guarantee he would return. You asked the occasional question, but for the most part you just listened to him to talk and let his words sink in.

You got it. You understood the very clear concerns that Batman had about this whole thing, they concerned you as well, but you weren’t about to let it deter you. You wanted to know your soulmate. Even if it ended horribly, like he was saying it would, you felt it in your core that you would regret not knowing him, especially if the worst truly did happen. And you told him so.

“Even if you’re not wearing a mask, this life is dangerous. Anything can happen.”

“Anything could happen to me when I leave my apartment each day.”

The superhero life wasn’t special in that regard. As you spoke, your voice was a lot calmer than it had been earlier. In fact, as he had spoke and explained you had found your anger slowly fading. You still wanted to slap the jerk superhero before you, but that was a considerable downgrade from your overwhelming need to deck him when you first saw him standing on your balcony.

“It won’t be easy.”

“I’ve never backed down from a challenge before.”  

You admired his commitment to deter you, but it wasn’t going to work. You were too stubborn to let it. Something you were positive he was learning very quickly.

“There’s nothing I can say to convince you that this is a bad idea, is there?”  

“Nope.” You made sure to pop the ‘p’.

Batman sighed deeply. You watched as he looked away from you and toward the golden thread that linked the two of you together. You could almost hear the gears in his brain turning as he thought. Then he was looking back up at you.

“In that case then.”

You watched as Batman brought his hands up to his cowl. Your eyes widened and you couldn’t help the small gasp that left you as he removed the cowl and revealed his identity to you. Bruce Wayne. While you didn’t live in Gotham City, you were well aware of Gotham’s favoured son. You would’ve had to have lived underneath a rock to not know who he was.

And apparently your family had been right on the money, literally. Not that you cared about the money, you weren’t superficial like that. Personality was far more important than the material items someone may or may not have. In your eyes, at least.

You both stood in silence, his blue eyes studying you, probably trying to gauge how you were going to react. To be truthful, you weren’t entirely sure how to react. Except maybe…

“Well, it’s… it’s nice to meet you Bruce Wayne. I guess this is the part where we forget about what happened and start over?”

“If that’s what you want.”

“It is.”

Yeah, sure, this was probably going to end horribly, but you were looking forward to the adventure that lie ahead.

[putonmyfavoriteshow]

10 characters, 10 fandoms, 10 tags ✨

Proceed with caution I get chatty!! Thanks @funkyliloboist

Luna Valente (Soy Luna)

My ultimate blorbo <3 but for real I relate to her on so many levels but especially with her adoption storyline. I rarely find characters that depict my feelings as well as hers regarding her adoption and it was such a surprise and refreshing take. Her s2 chat with Ámbar is by far one of my fave scenes ever on this topic. And beyond that I just love her optimism and kindness. She’s def more active and athletic than me and has way more of a bubbly personality. So I wouldn’t say she’s me exactly, but I do like to call her my daughter <3

Bia (BIA)

I love Helena a lot and think about her often, but I have a soft spot for my dcla lead girlies and I just feel that while Bia may be considered the coolest and laidback dcla lead, there’s so much more to her (I GET HER THE MOST!!! The baby sister energy it me it me). She’s also dealing with so so so much. And as I watched the series, I connected a lot with her grief and how she used creativity and friendship to power through difficult times. And I admired her for how she never made everything about herself but always went out of her way for the people around her.

Francesca Caviglia (Violetta)

Vilu is so close, but I think ultimately I choose Fran as my fave (I mean Vilu would too). There’s this scene in s3 where Diego comments on how much she loves her friends and how loyal she is and ugh that’s exactly why I love her so much too (preach Diego!!) She really just cares so deeply for her friends and it’s so 🥹 also her voice??? Girl can sang!!! Girl can perform!!! When she starts strumming that guitar and sings out her heart I am SEATED!! Plus like everyone on this crack show she can be an absolute looney tune and I love her for it <3

Kara Danvers/Supergirl (Supergirl)

First of all Melissa Benoist deserves an Emmy for her role. She embodied Supergirl in every damn way and I bow down to her. But ugh I just love everything Kara is and stands for. She’s everything I wish I could be. She’s what I strive to be. She’s everything. I’m very normal about it!!!

Lorelai Gilmore (Gilmore Girls)

If Luna is my daughter, Lorelai is my bonus mother. This lady raised me. She was such a role model to me growing up and rewatching the series I still was just as enamored with her as I was as a kid. I just adore her sense of humor. I never take life too serious and she taught me it was ok to be my goofy self all the way into adulthood because you better have some fun when life knocks you around. Not to mention all her pop culture references. I wanted to be as cool as her soooo bad. (And I blame my coffee addiction on her)

Abed Nadir (Community)

He’s any tv fanatic’s fave for good reason. He perfectly exemplified what it means to love television/film/media and have hyper fixations. And he never stopped being himself no matter what anyone thought of him even tho he was always so fully aware of what people thought of him. He also just had the biggest heart. He loved the study group so much he saw them the same way he saw his favorite shows. And I just ❤️

Zoey Clarke (Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist)

It’s been a while since I watched this show but it was really nice to have a modern show revolved around someone my age that did such a good job of depicting what that looks like balancing all parts of her life. I also like that she’s more rough around the edges and introverted but still a very caring individual. Even tho unlike her I would LOVE witnessing everyone’s heart songs and music in general I loved experiencing that reluctant journey with her. I feel like she’s someone who I would click with so easily. (Also cool that she worked in STEM!)

Lemon Breeland & Wade Kinsella (Hart of Dixie)

My rewatch of Hart of Dixie was such a gift and my love for Lemon just grew a second time around. She’s someone I relate to the least but I just was so obsessed with her arc. And even tho she could be vain and cruel, there was also such a softness to her. And the way she grappled with the pain of her mother’s abandonment and proved herself to be nothing like her was beautiful to watch. I love how damn determined she always was to fight for herself as well as those she loved.

I’m cheating but idc because Wade had a similarly amazing arc becoming the man he was always meant to be. I love that that he always did care for his father and the town of Bluebell. He played himself down and acted like he didn’t care but he always stepped up when it mattered and when he finally got the confidence to see himself as something more, he really became a better man and I was so damn proud of him.

(Also their unlikely friendship: iconic)

Winston Bishop (New Girl)

Every character on this show is lovable and funny af. But I just adore Winston so much. In the beginning they had such a hard time figuring out who he was going to be but once they channeled this puzzling Prank Sinantra bird shirt wearing cat lover it was kismet. And as absolutely bonkers as his character was he was still grounded and deserved his happy ending too. I love how he ended up falling for Aly and how amazing that relationship ended up being next to the more setup stories for Nick/Jess and Schmidt/CeCe through the years. I’m so glad they threw away their initial plans of him being a smug b-ball dude to just being the fun loving Furguson dad we know and love.

Tagging whoever feels like it 🤪

[aquariusshadow]

Live!Blogging Legacies s4x10

It's been so long...Legacies how I've missed you.

Gimme that Hizzie goodness. I'm finally here and I'm finally ready.

--

....new character?

im sorry the background music in the opening scene just reminds me of harry potter music ahaha

hope

bby

honey

how ive missed you

yesss cleo, jed, MG super squad trio

adfhadhflajsdfh

"i do not consider ethan a friend anymore"

gdi my methan heart

yall i wasnt prepared for that

look at jed sticking up for cleo

i do really like their friendship

oh

limbo squad

i forgot about them

"dead. ted" hehe

oh good christ what the hell is that

oh i just remembered

this is aurora in hope's body, right?

sigh

i still dunno how i feel about the body-switching storyline tbh

lizzie bby

oh great is this another therapy box thing?

oooooooo the keys have my attenion

did...did she just ignore the rest of the keys to look at lizzie's?

ehehehe

"two bros, sittin five feet apart in a barrier spell cuz theyre not gay"

okay im already really vibing with this dynamic

idk sometimes theres just that natural chemistry that's just there

and it's pretty evident with ben/jed so far

aw noooooooo poor ashur

ah yes lets bring the young college students into the supernatural clusterfuck

well that was fast

she just

went for it

heretic!lizzie

im really getting some caroline vibes when she first became a vampire

thats pretty neat

okay the song playing with hope and the keys is really cool

look at lizzie showing off her fangs to hope ahahaha

god i adore the heretic!lizzie and tribid!hope dynamic rn

okay this is actually kind of an intersting back story of some of the monsters origins

look at jed sticking up for ben

.......

is

is she

is she sired to hope

oh god this better not turn into a delena thing

i really hated the sirebond plotline in tvd ahaha

still wtf is that monster even supposed to be

i cant get past the fangs

......hope and lizzie's keys are each other's names

ehehe

_*the bibrid to your tribrid*_ lmfao

okay this sire bond dynamic is already so much better than delena's

lizzies actively trying to refuse

and her commentary constantly calling it out

jed and cleos hi-five/fist bump ahahaha

oh the creepy creature is now a pet....

im not sure how i'm feelin about jen tbh

oooooooooo he's prometheus

duh okay

i probably shouldve caught onto that alot earlier

whoops

hsdlkfajhlfdajsdfas

JHALFDKAJSDHFKLASD

"I've come to like Ben. It's simple, like Jed. And I've come to like simple things."

"Well, buddy, I'm your guy"

ASTOPSTOPASDKJAHLSDKFAHSDF

guys

GUYS

i cant go through this again

look at them look at each other

guys

PUKWUDGIE OH MY GOD

...........is

is mg gonna forgive ethan

i shouldnt have laughed when mg failed to hug lizzie

hlsjdhflajsdalhfsdf

okay see this exactly is why i dont like mizzie

"If there's one thing I've always been able to do, is manipulate Milton Greasley"

wtf

i'm supposed to root for that???

i just

ugh

its such an off dynamic

theres nothing really mutual between these two

yes i've actively ignored the limbo scenes

no i dont care about them

except for landon

--

Alright this episode was pretty strong overall! I'm vibing with Ben/Prometheus as a new character plus I adore his dynamic with Jed. Heretic!Lizzie is pretty much what I was expecting and I'm very happy about it.

The sire bond thing did make me nervous at first but there seems to be a strong self-awareness with what having that bond means for Lizzie as she tries to constantly push some sort of autonomy over herself and make it clear every chance she gets as to what she actually wants/doesn't want--feels/doesn't feel. Plus her dynamic with Hope still feels very balanced so I'm super curious to see more of these two now that Lizzie is a heretic.

I forgot a bit about the previous episode before the break and I think it shows in my commentary but I still seemed to follow along the plot fairly well.

I...I really like Hizzie now ehehe. Hello Hizzie fandom, I'm here to stay.

[xoruffitup]

Annette: The AD Devotee Review

So I saw Annette on its premiere night in Cannes and I’m still trying to process and make sense of those 2.5 hours of utter insanity. I have no idea where to begin and this is likely going to become an unholy length by the time I’m finished, so I apologize in advance. But BOY I’ve got a lot to parse through!!

Let’s start here: Adam’s made plenty of weird movies. The Dead Don’t Die? The Man Who Killed Don Quixote? There are definitely Terry Gilliam-esque elements of the unapologetically absurd and fantastical in Annette, but NOTHING comes close to this film. To put it bluntly, nothing I write in this post can prepare you for the eccentric phantasmagoria you’re about to sit through.

While the melodies conveying the story – at times lovely and haunting, at times whimsical, occasionally blunt and simple – add a unique sense of the surreal, the fact that it’s all presented in song somehow supplies the medium for this bizarre concoction of disparate elements and outlandish storytelling to all coalesce into a single genre-defying, disbelief-suspending whole. That’s certainly not to say there weren’t a few times when I quietly chortled to myself and mouthed “what the fuck” from behind my mask when things took an exceeding turn to the outrageous. This movie needs to be permitted a bit of leeway in terms of quality judgments, and traditional indicators certainly won’t apply. I would say part of its appeal (and ultimately its success) stems from its lack of interest in appealing to traditional arbiters of film structure and viewing experience. The movie lingers in studies of discomfiture (I’ll return to this theme); it presents all its absurdities with brazen pride rather than temperance; and its end is abrupt and utterly jarring. Yet somehow, at the end of it, I realized I’d been white-knuckling that rollercoaster ride the whole way through and loved every last twist and turn.

A note on the structure of this post before I dive in: I’ve written out a synopsis of the whole film (for those spoiler-hungry people) and stashed it down at the bottom of this post, so no one trying to avoid spoilers has to scroll through. If you want to read, go ahead and skip down to that before reading the discussion/analysis. If I have to reference a specific plot point, I’ll label it “Spoiler #___” and those who don’t mind being spoiled can check the correlating numbers in my synopsis to see which part I’m referencing. Otherwise, my discussion will be spoiler-free! I do detail certain individual scenes, but hid anything that would give away key developments and/or the ending.

To start, I’ll cut to what I’m sure many of you are here for: THE MUSICAL SEX SCENES. You want detailed descriptions? Well let’s fucking go because these scenes have been living in my head rent-free!!

The first (yes, there are two. Idk whether to thank Mr. Carax or suggest he get his sanity checked??) happens towards the end of “We Love Each Other So Much.” Henry carries Ann to the bed with her feet dangling several inches off the floor while she has her arms wrapped around his shoulders. (I maybe whimpered a tiny bit.) As they continue to sing, you first see Ann spread on her back on the bed, panting a little BUT STILL SINGING while Henry’s head is down between her thighs. The camera angle is from above Ann’s head, so you can clearly see down her body and exactly what’s going on. He lifts his head to croon a line, then puts his mouth right back to work. 

And THEN they fuck – still fucking singing! They’re on their sides with Henry behind her, and yes there is visible thrusting. Yes, the thrusting definitely picks up speed and force as the song reaches its crescendo. Yes, it was indeed EXTREMELY sensual once you got over the initial shock of what you’re watching. Ann kept her breasts covered with her own hands while Henry went down on her, but now his hands are covering them and kneading while they’re fucking and just….. It’s a hard, blazing hot R rating. I also remember his giant hand coming up to turn her head so he can kiss her and ladkjfaskfjlskfj. Bring your smelling salts. I don’t recommend sitting between two older ladies while you’re watching – KINDA RUINED THE BLATANT, SMOKING HOT ADAM PORN FOR ME. Good god, choose your viewing buddy wisely!

The second scene comes sort of out of nowhere – I can’t actually recall which song it was during, but it pops up while Ann is pregnant. Henry is again eating her out and there’s not as much overt singing this time, but he has his giant hands splayed over her pregnant belly while he’s going to town and whew, WHEW TURN ON THE AIR CONDITIONING PLEASE. DID THE THEATER INCREASE IN TEMPERATURE BY 10 DEGREES, YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT IT DID.

Whew. I think you’ll be better primed to ~enjoy~ those scenes when you know they’re coming, otherwise it’s just so shocking that by the time you’ve processed “Look at Adam eating pussy with reckless abandon” it’s halfway over already. God speed, my fellow rats, it’s truly something to witness!!

Okay. Right. Ahem. Moving right on along….

I’ll kick off this discussion with the formal structure of the film. It’s honestly impossible to classify. I have the questionable fortune of having been taken to many a strange avant-garde operas and art exhibitions by my parents when I was younger, and the strongest parallel I found to this movie was melodramatic opera stagings full of flamboyant flourishes, austere set pieces, and prolonged numbers where the characters wallow at length in their respective miseries. This movie has all the elevated drama, spectacle, and self-aggrandizement belonging to any self-professed rock opera. Think psychedelic rock opera films a la The Who’s Tommy, Hair, Phantom of the Paradise, and hell, even Rocky Horror. Yes, this film really is THAT weird.

But Annette is also in large part a vibrant, absurdist performance piece. The film is intriguingly book-ended by two scenes where the lines blur between actor and character; and your own role blurs between passive viewer and interactive audience. The first scene has the cast walking through the streets of LA (I think?), singing “So May We Start?” directly to the camera in a self-aware prologue, smashing the fourth wall from the beginning and setting up the audience to play a direct role in the viewing experience. Though the cast then disburse and take up their respective roles, the sense of being directly performed to is reinforced throughout the film. This continues most concretely through Henry’s multiple stand-up comedy performances.

Though he performs to an audience in the film rather than directly to live viewers, these scenes are so lengthy, vulgar, and excessive that his solo performance act becomes an integral part of defining his character and conveying his arc as the film progresses. These scenes start to make the film itself feel like a one-man show. The whole shtick of Henry McHenry’s “Ape of God” show is its perverse irreverence and swaggering machismo. Over the span of what must be a five minute plus scene, Henry hacks up phlegm, pretends to choke himself with his microphone cord, prances across the stage with his bathrobe flapping about, simulates being shot, sprinkles many a misanthropic, charmless monologues in between, and ends by throwing off his robe and mooning the audience before he leaves the stage. (Yes, you see Adam’s ass within the film’s first twenty minutes, and we’re just warming up from there.) His one-man performances demonstrate his egocentrism, penchant for lowbrow and often offensive humor, and the fact that this character has thus far profited from indulging in and acting out his base vulgarities.

While never demonstrating any abundance of good taste, his shows teeter firmly towards the grotesque and unsanctionable as his marriage and mental health deteriorate. This is what I’m referring to when I described the film as a study in discomfiture. As he deteriorates, the later iterations of his stand-up show become utterly unsettling and at times revolting. The film could show mercy and stop at one to two minutes of his more deranged antics, but instead subjects you to a protracted display of just how insane this man might possibly be. In Adam’s hands, these excessive, indulgent performance scenes take on disturbing but intriguing ambiguity, as you again wonder where the performance ends and the real man begins. When Henry confesses to a crime during his show and launces into an elaborate, passionate reenactment on stage, you shift uncomfortably in your seat wondering how much of it might just be true. Wondering just how much of an animal this man truly is.

Watching this film as an Adam fan, these scenes are unparalleled displays of his range and prowess. He’s in turns amusing and revolting; intolerable and pathetic; but always, always riveting. I couldn’t help thinking to myself that for the casual, non Adam-obsessed viewer, the effect of these scenes might stop at crass and unappealing. But in terms of the sheer range and power of acting on display? These scenes are a damn marvel. Through these scenes alone, his performance largely imbues the film with its wild, primal, and vaguely menacing atmosphere.

His stand-up scenes were, to me, some of the most intense of the film – sometimes downright difficult to endure. But they’re only a microcosm of the R A N G E he exhibits throughout the film’s entirety. Let’s talk about how he’s animalistic, menacing, and genuinely unsettling to watch (Leos Carax described him as “feline” at some point, and I 100% see it); and then with a mere subtle twitch of his expression, sheen of his eyes, or slump of his shoulders, he’s suddenly a lost, broken thing.  

Henry McHenry is truly to be reviled. Twitter might as well spare their breath and announce he’s already cancelled. He towers above the rest of the cast with intimidating, predatory physicality; he is prone to indulgence in his vices; and he constantly seems at risk of releasing some wild, uncontrollable madness lingering just beneath his surface. But as we all well know, Adam has an unerring talent for lending pathos to even the most objectively condemnable characters.

In a repeated refrain during his first comedy show, the audience keeps asking him, “Why did you become a comedian?” He dodges the question or gives sarcastic answers, until finally circling back to the true answer later in the film. It was something to the effect of: “To disarm people. It’s the only way I can tell the truth without it killing me.” Even for all their sick spectacle, there are also moments in his stand-up shows of disarming vulnerability and (seeming) honesty. In a similar moment of personal exposition, he confesses his temptation and “sympathy for the abyss.” (This phrase is hands down my favorite of the film.) He repeatedly refers to his struggle against “the abyss” and, at the same time, his perceived helplessness against it. “There’s so little I can do, there’s so little I can do,” he sings repeatedly throughout the film - usually just after doing something horrific.

Had he been played by anyone else, the first full look of him warming up before his show - hopping in place and punching the air like some wannabe boxer, interspersing puffs of his cigarette with chowing down on a banana – would have been enough for me to swear him off. His archetype is something of a cliché at this point – a brusque, boorish man who can’t stomach or preserve the love of others due to his own self-loathing. There were multiple points when it was only Adam’s face beneath the character that kept my heart cracked open to him. But sure enough, he wedged his fingers into that tiny crack and pried it wide open. The film’s final few scenes show him at his chin-wobbling best as he crumbles apart in small, mournful subtleties.

(General, semi-spoiler ahead as to the tone of the film’s ending – skip this paragraph if you’d rather avoid.) For a film that professes not to take itself very seriously (how else am I supposed to interpret the freaky puppet baby?), it delivers a harsh, unforgiving ending to its main character. And sure enough, despite how much I might have wanted to distance myself and believe it was only what he deserved, I found myself right there with him, sharing his pain. It is solely testament to Adam’s tireless dedication to breathing both gritty realism and stubborn beauty into his characters that Henry sank a hook into some piece of my sympathy.

Not only does Adam have to be the only actor capable of imbuing Henry with humanity despite his manifold wrongs, he also has to be the only actor capable of the wide-ranging transformations demanded of the role. He starts the movie with long hair and his full refrigerator brick house physique. His physicality and size are actively leveraged to engender a sense of disquiet and unpredictability through his presence. He appears in turns tormented and tormentor. There were moments when I found myself thinking of Conan the Barbarian, simply because his physical presence radiates such wild, primal energy (especially next to tiny, dainty Marion and especially with that long hair). Cannot emphasize enough: The raw sex appeal is off the goddamn charts and had me – a veteran fangirl of 3+ years - shook to my damn core.

The film’s progression then ages him – his hair cut shorter and his face and physique gradually becoming more gaunt. By the film’s end, he has facial prosthetics to make him seem even more stark and borderline sickly – a mirror of his growing internal torment. From a muscular, swaggering powerhouse, he pales and shrinks to a shell of a man, unraveling as his face becomes nearly deformed by time and guilt. He is in turns beautiful and grotesque; sensual and repulsive. I know of no other actor whose face (and its accompanying capacity for expressiveness) could lend itself to such stunning versatility.

Quick note here that he was given a reddish-brown birthmark on the right side of his face for this film?? It becomes more prominent once his hair is shorter in the film’s second half. I’m guessing it was Leos’ idea to make his face even more distinctive and riveting? If so, joke’s on you, Mr. Carax, because we’re always riveted. ☺

I mentioned way up at the beginning that the film is bookended by two scenes where the lines blur between actor and character, and between reality and performance. This comes full circle at the film’s end, with Henry’s final spoken words (this doesn’t give any plot away but skip to the next paragraph if you would rather avoid!) being “Stop watching me.” That’s it. The show is over. He has told his last joke, played out his final act, and now he’s done living his life as a source of cheap, unprincipled laughs and thrills for spectators. The curtain closes with a resounding silence.

Now, I definitely won’t have a section where I talk (of course) about the Ben Solo parallels. He’s haunted by an “abyss” aka darkness inside of him? Bad things happened when he finally gave in and stared into that darkness he knew lived within him? As a result of those tragedies, (SPOILER – Skip to next paragraph to avoid) he then finds himself alone and with no one to love or be loved by? NO I’M DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT AT ALL, I’M JUST FINE HERE UNDER MY MOUNTAINS OF TISSUES.

Let’s talk about the music! The film definitely clocks in closer to a rock opera than musical, because almost the entire thing is conveyed through ongoing song, rather than self-contained musical numbers appearing here and there. This actually helps the film’s continuity and pacing, by keeping the characters perpetually in this suspended state of absurdity, always propelled along by some beat or melody. Whenever the film seems on the precipice of tipping all the way into the bleak and dark, the next whimsical tune kicks in to reel us all blessedly back. For example, after (SPOILER #1) happens, there’s a hard cut to the bright police station where several officers gather around Henry, bopping about and chattering on the beat “Questions! We have a few questions!”

Adam integrates his singing into his performance in such a way that it seems organic. I realized after the film that I never consciously considered the quality of his singing along the way. For all that I talked about the film maintaining the atmosphere of a fourth wall-defying performance piece, Adam’s singing is so fully immersed in the embodiment of his character that you almost forget he’s singing. Rather, this is simply how Henry McHenry exists. His stand-up scenes are the only ones in the film that do frequently transition back and forth between speaking and singing, but it’s seamlessly par for the course in Henry’s bizarre, dour show. He breaks into his standard “Now laugh!” number with uninterrupted sarcasm and contempt. There were certainly a few soft, poignant moments when his voice warbled in a tender vibrato you couldn’t help noticing – but otherwise, the singing was simply an extension of that full-body persona he manages to convey with such apparent ease and naturalism.

On the music itself: I’ll admit that the brief clip of “We Love Each Other So Much” we got a few weeks ago made me a tad nervous. It seemed so cheesy and ridiculous? But okay, you really can’t take anything from this movie out of context. Otherwise it is, indeed, utterly ridiculous. Not that none of it is ever ridiculous in context either, but I’m giving you assurances right now that it WORKS. Once you’re in the flow of constant singing and weirdness abound, the songs sweep you right along. Some of the songs lack a distinctive hook or melody and are moreso rhythmic vehicles for storytelling, but it’s now a day later and I still have three of the songs circulating pleasantly in my head. “We Love Each Other So Much” was actually the stand out for me and is now my favorite of the soundtrack. It’s reprised a few times later in the film, growing increasingly melancholy each time it is echoed, and it hits your heart a bit harder each time. The final song sung during (SPOILER #2), though without a distinctive melody to lodge in my head, undoubtedly left me far more moved than a spoken version of this scene would have. Adam’s singing is so painfully desperate and earnest here, and he takes the medium fully under his command.

Finally, it does have to be said that parts of this film veer fully towards the ridiculous and laughable. The initial baby version of the Annette puppet-doll was nothing short of horrifying to me. Annette gets more center-stage screen time in the film’s second half, which gives itself over to a few special effects sequences which look to be flying out at you straight from 2000 Windows Movie Maker. The scariest part is that it all seems intentional. The quality special effects appear when necessary (along with some unusual and captivating time lapse shots), which means the film’s most outrageous moments are fully in line with its guiding spirit. Its extravagant self-indulgence nearly borders on camp.

...And with that, I’ve covered the majority of the frantic notes I took for further reflection immediately after viewing. It’s now been a few days, and I’m looking forward to rewatching this movie when I can hopefully take it in a bit more fully. This time, I won’t just be struggling to keep up with the madness on screen. My concluding thoughts at this point: Is it my favorite Adam movie? Certainly not. Is it the most unforgettable? Aside from my holy text, The Last Jedi, likely yes. It really is the sort of thing you have to see twice to even believe it. And all in all, I say again that Adam truly carried this movie, and he fully inhabits even its highest, most ludicrous aspirations. He’s downright abhorrent in this film, and that’s exactly what makes him such a fucking legend.

I plan to make a separate post in the coming days about my experience at Cannes and the Annette red carpet, since a few people have asked! I can’t even express how damn good it feels to be globetrotting for Adam-related experiences again. <3

Thanks so much for reading! Feel free to ask me any further questions at all here or on Twitter! :)

*SYNOPSIS INCLUDED BELOW. DO NOT READ FURTHER IF AVOIDING SPOILERS!*

Synopsis: Comedian Henry McHenry and opera singer Ann Defrasnoux are both at the pinnacle of their respective success when they fall in love and marry. The marriage is happy and passionate for a time, leading to the birth of their (puppet) daughter, Annette. But tabloids and much of the world believe the crude, brutish Henry is a poor match for refined, idolized Ann. Ann and Henry themselves both begin to feel that something is amiss – Henry gradually losing his touch for his comedy craft, claiming that being in love is making him ill. He repeatedly and sardonically references how Ann’s opera career involves her “singing and dying” every night, to the point that he sees visions of her “dead” body on the stage. Meanwhile, Ann has a nightmare of multiple women accusing Henry of abusive and violent behavior towards them, and she begins growing wary in his presence. (He never acts abusively towards her, unless you count that scene when he tickles her feet and licks her toes while she’s telling him to stop??? Yeah I know, WILD.)

The growing sense of unease, that they’re both teetering on the brink of disaster, culminates in the most deranged of Henry’s stand-up comedy performances, when he gives a vivid reenactment of killing his wife by “tickling her to death.” The performance is so maudlin and unsettling that you wonder whether he’s not making it up at all, and the audience strongly rebukes him. (This is the “What is your problem?!” scene with tiddies out. The full version includes Adam storming across the stage, furiously singing/yelling, “What the FUCK is your problem?!”) But when Henry arrives home that night, drunk and raucous, Ann and Annette are both unharmed.

The couple take a trip on their boat, bringing Annette with them. The boat gets caught in a storm, and Henry drunkenly insists that he and Ann waltz in the storm. She protests that it’s too dangerous and begs him to see sense. (SPOILER #1) The boat lurches when Henry spins her, and Ann falls overboard to her death. Henry rescues Annette from the sinking boat and rows them both to shore. He promptly falls unconscious, and a ghost of Ann appears, proclaiming her intention to haunt Henry through Annette. Annette (still a toddler at this point and yes, still a wooden puppet) then develops a miraculous gift for singing, and Henry decides to take her on tour with performances around the world. He enlists the help of his “conductor friend,” who had been Ann’s accompanist and secretly had an affair with her before she met Henry.

Henry slides further into drunken debauchery as the tour progresses, while the Conductor looks after Annette and the two grow close. Once the tour concludes, the Conductor suggests to Henry that Annette might be his own daughter – revealing his prior affair with Ann. Terrified by the idea of anyone finding out and the possibility of losing his daughter, Henry drowns the Conductor in the pool behind his and Ann’s house. Annette sees the whole thing happen from her bedroom window.

Henry plans one last show for Annette, to be held in a massive stadium at the equivalent of the Super Bowl. But when Annette takes the stage, she refuses to sing. Instead, she speaks and accuses Henry of murder. (“Daddy kills people,” are the actual words – not that that was creepy to hear as this puppet’s first spoken words or anything.)

Henry stands trial, during which he sees an apparition of Ann from when they first met. They sing their regret that they can’t return to the happiness they once shared, until the apparition is replaced by Ann’s vengeful spirit, who promises to haunt Henry in prison. After his sentencing (it’s not clear what the sentence was, but Henry definitely isn’t going free), Annette is brought to see him once in prison. Speaking fully for the first time, she declares she can’t forgive her parents for using her: Henry for exploiting her voice for profit and Ann for presumably using her to take vengeance on Henry. (Yes, this is why she was an inanimate doll moving on strings up to this point – there was some meaning in that strange, strange artistic choice. She was the puppet of her parents’ respective egotisms.) The puppet of Annette is abruptly replaced by a real girl in this scene, finally enabling two-sided interaction and a long-missed genuine connection between her and Henry, which made this quite the emotional catharsis. (SPOILER #2) It concludes with Annette still unwilling to forgive or forget what her parents have done, and swearing never to sing again. She says Henry now has “no one to love.” He appeals, “Can’t I love you, Annette?” She replies, “No, not really.” Henry embraces her one last time before a guard takes her away and Henry is left alone.

…..Yes, that is the end. It left me with major emotional whiplash, after the whole film up to this point kept pulling itself back from the total bleak and dark by starting up a new toe-tapping, mildly silly tune every few minutes. But this last scene instead ends on a brutal note of harsh, unforgiving silence.

BUT! Make sure you stick around through the credits, when you see the cast walking through a forest together. (This is counterpart to the film’s opening, when you see the cast walking through LA singing “So May We Start?” directly to the audience) Definitely pay attention to catch Adam chasing/playing with the little girl actress who plays Annette! That imparts a much nicer feeling to leave the theater with. :’)

[pikapikabishes]

Light of My Life

DESCRIPTION: CHARACTERS ARE NOT MINE, THEY BELONG TO THEIR RESPECTFUL OWNERS. ONLY THING THAT IS MINE IS THE PLOT

Summary: Kirishima and Y/n realize their love for each other after years of yearning

Warnings: slight nudity, some cursing, tooth-rotting fluff

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two years.

Kirishima has been in love with you… for two whole years. Ever since he met you on the first day they had started as first years in UA. When you stood up for your new friends against the angry blonde pomeranian that is Kasuki Bakugo, then for some reason apologized for it. You were just the epitome of beauty, both inside and out, and benevolence, a fiery spark in your eye that indicates the strong will and fight that you have.

And the way you handle yourself in combat during that first training exercise with All Might? Kirishima swears that the existence of Cupid must be real because he was pretty sure it must’ve been incredibly abnormal with how fast he had fallen for you. You fought like some kind of battle goddess. And with your quirk, you might as well be.

You called your quirk “Celestial Light,” meaning you manipulate sun-, moon-, and starlight to your will. He’s seen you use the sunlight as powerful beams, to which you secretly admitted to him later that you got that move from Pokemon, forge weapons out of either light, and can now weave yourself a dazzling pair of wings along with armor as your ultimate move.

And while all these features, plus with just how stunningly beautiful you are; with your soft, shiny (h/c) hair, your (e/c) eyes that seem to make the stars in the sky lose their sparkle, those plump, soft-looking lips that stretch out into that dazzling smile that proudly shows off your pearly whites. What really reeled in his attention was all the little quirks you have.

The way you twirl a lock of your hair when you’re deep in thought; the way you chew on that kissable, plump lower lip of yours and your nose scrunches in the cutest way he’s ever seen, when you’re stuck on a difficult problem or when you don’t understand said problem; the way you always pluck out the tomatoes from your salad; how you always save your dessert for last so that, according to you, the delicious taste lingers on your tongue long after you’ve eaten it, or how you’re quick to offer some of your said dessert when a friend seems upset or sad about something; or the way you lightly sway your hips while you’re cooking to a song that’s either sounding from your phone or ringing in your head, at times humming to the tune playing, and how you tend to hum to what seems to be a pleasant daydream, if the soft smile on your face is anything to go by; as well as how you always, always make hot chocolate late at night when you have problems sleeping and how utterly adorable you look as you fight to stay awake as he fondly watches from around the corner during the times he himself has gown downstairs for something to drink as you sigh so contently when you take that first sip before clumsily making your way back up to your room. Especially when you still continue to argue with Kasuki to this day on how he treats Midoriya even though he’s mellowed a bit, Kirishima can’t help but find you so utterly adorable when your 5’7” is all up in Kasuki’s 6’5” personal space. It’s like watching a cute golden retriever puppy going up against a big bad (pomeranian) wolf.

Man, he could just go on and on. And he can go on and on and on about how hopelessly in love with you he is. Which he was subconsciously doing right now with his group of friends as he watched you happily interact with your best friend Mina and the other girls, as they undoubtedly plan their “girl’s night” tonight. Kirishima gave out another sigh, which earned him a hard smack on the back of his head within the next second.

“Ow!” Kirishima’s hand shot to the spot the angry pomeranian he calls his best friend had smacked him. He turned a questioning look over at the seething blonde next to him, looking at the bulging vein that looks ready to pop on his forehead. “What the hell was that for, Bakubro?!”

“That is the fucking twelveth time you’ve fucking sighed like that in the last 20 minutes, and I swear to fuck if I have to hear another fucking comment on how ‘beautiful’ Lamp is, Imma blow your ass all the way to Timbuktu,” Bakugou angrily spat out.

Of course, the threat of getting his ass handed to him rolled off him like water on a swan’s back. In the back of his mind, Kirishima laughed at how his friend was just all bark as he knew Bakugou wouldn’t actually beat him up that bad… probably.

Kirishima blinked, “Wait, what?”

“Yeah, bro,” Denki butted in, looking slightly annoyed as well. “You’ve been going on about ‘(L/n)’s hair looks great today’, ‘(L/n) looks so cute with her nose scrunched up when she chews her food’, ‘(L/n) looks so good in her uniform today.’ Like bro, you say she looks great in her uniform everyday, which I won’t argue, she do be looking mighty fine in a school uniform,” Denki trailed off as he leaned back in his seat as he stared at the girl in question, looking suspiciously like he’s trying to get a better view of her ass.

At that realization, Kirishima glared at the pervy, knockoff pikachu and kicked his shin hard.

Denki yelped, high-pitched and whiny as he brought up his leg, tendly rubbing the spot that was kicked. “Oooww, dude! What the hell?”

“Don’t look at her like that,” Kirishima growled, eyes glaring daggers.

Denki puts his arms up in surrender, cowarding before his suddenly intimidating friend. “Okay, okay! I’m sorry, I won’t stare at your girl again!”

Blood quickly rushed to the red-head’s cheeks, painting them a rosy color. “Wha- She’s not my girl!”

“You wouldn’t be able to tell with the way you look at her with that lovey-dovey expression on your face and how you follow her around like a lost puppy,” Sero intervened, casually leaned back in his seat with his hands behind his head, the straw from his drink dangling from his lips.

“Yeah what he said,” Denki agreed, still tenderly rubbing his injured leg.

“That’s not-” Kirishima tripped over his words. “We’re just hanging out! I do the same thing with you guys!”

“Yeah. but if ya compare how much time you spend with us vs. (L/n), you’re practically non-existent in our group hangouts,” Sero laughed at his friend’s red face that is one shade off from blending into his hair.

“Guys, com’on. I- I just-” Kirishima was waving his hands, trying to think of something to say.

“Quite making fucking stupid-ass excuses,” Bakugou butted in. “Do you like Lamp or not?” Kirishima nodded hesitantly before glancing back over to your table as if nervous that you would hear this conversation even when you were like 4 tables away in this noisy cafeteria. “Then be a fucking man, or some shit, and fucking tell her already before I pop a goddamn blood vessel from all your fucking lovey dovey shit and whinning!”

Kirishima blinked thinking about his best friend’s words. After a moment, Kirishima gave the pomeranian his usual bright grin that could blind anyone who witness, hence why Denki and Sero simutaniously brought out sunglasses and place them high on their noses, and Bakugou’s squinting. Standing up suddenly, he declared, “You’re absolutely right! I have to man up and tell her how I feel!”

The commotion of Kirishima’s declaration turned around all the heads in the cafeteria, causing the red head’s cheeks to heat up again as he became fully aware of all the pairs of eyes on his 6’4” self. After giving a hasty apology, Kirishima plops back down, leaning on the table and covering his eyes with his big hands. Unknown to him, a pair of disheartened (e/c) orbs glanced at the embarrassed red-head with a sadden longing lingering in them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You’re staring at him again,” Mina, your number one best friend, noted in a singsong voice, popping another french fry in her mouth.

“What? Staring at who?” You questioned, immediately picking at your side salad, suddenly having lost interest in eating.

“Oh com’on. I saw you looking at Kirishima again.” Mina nudged you with her elbow. “Why don’t you just tell him already?”

You looked at her in confusion. “Tell him what?”

“That you’re completely and hopelessly in love with him,” she gave off a teasing lovey-dovey sigh.

Heat rushed into your cheeks. “I-...” You stuttered, going back to jabbing at your salad. “I don’t know what your talking about.”

“Oh, please gurl,” Mina scoffed. “It’s so obvious, it’s kinda painful watching. Why don’t you go talk to him?”

“What do you mean? We talk everyday, we’re best friends just like you and me,” You defended. “Besides,” You absentmindedly twirl a lock of your hair around your finger. “I doubt he’d be into someone like me. I mean, I’m not all that special.”

“Are you kidding? You���re freaking gorgeous, how could he not love you?” Mina asked.

“I just feel like, I don’t know, maybe I’m too plain for him?”

Mina rolled her dark eyes before grabbing your shoulders, and turned you around towards the other girls sitting with them.

“Gals,” she called, turning all five heads. She slung an arm over your shoulder and pointed at you. “Smash or pass?”

They all simultaneously replied, “Smash.”

“See? You are not just a plain, ol’ girl. You’re beautiful, and you’re kind, and fun. Why wouldn’t he like you?” Mina glanced at the Kirishima, watching as Kaminari and Sero poking fun at the gentle giant. She may or may not know Kirishima’s feelings about you, having picked them up a while ago.

Your blushed increased. “I don’t know. He’s just so sweet, and determined, and I just… Sometimes I feel like he’s way out of my league,” you sighed solemnly.

Mina hummed, thinking. “Well that’s too bad then. I think you guys would make such a cute couple.”

“That’s nice of you to say,” you thanked, a bittersweet smile resting on your lips. “But you heard him just now. He already has someone he likes.” You sighed, “Looks like I’m too late.”

Mina decided then and there, she was going to be both of your wingman, determined to get her two friends together by this weekend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Walking down into the common room later after school, with a nice blouse and a pair of skinny jeans with a purse hanging from your shoulder, you come to see the BakuSquad hanging on the couches.

“Alright Mina, I’m ready. Let’s go,” You happily say, waiting for her on the side of the sofa she and Kirishima were lounging on.

Kirishima looked up from his phone, seeing you all dressed up causing a faint blush to rise. “You look good! Where are you going?”

His compliment on your outfit causing heat to rise in your cheeks as well. “Um, Mina and I were going to head to the mall for snacks and clothes.”

“Oooh yeah about that,” Mina started, smiling sheepishly. “I can’t go with you.”

Your face fell a bit. “What? Why?”

“Some personal business came up, But hey! Why doesn’t Kirishima here go with you?” Mina nudged the giant next to her with her elbow.

Kirishima bounced onto his feet in excitement at the thought of you two alone together. “Yeah, let’s go!”

“You don’t have to Kiri, I can go by myself-”

“Nonsense!” Mina interjected. “Kirishima was just telling me he wasn’t doing anything today. Plus you’re going to be needing both an extra pair of hands and eyes if your going to be shopping for clothes.”

You looked ay her in confusion. “I mean, I suppose. But if he doesn’t want-”

“I do!” he shouted, interrupting you into a shocked silence. Clearing his throat, he continued, “Ahem, I mean… I do. I don’t mind tagging along.”

“Alright,” You smiled, your cheeks still feeling warm and butterflies swarming your stomach at being alone with your crush. “If you’re ready, we can go now.”

“Uh,” Kirishima patted his pockets. “Give me a minute to go get my keys and wallet,” he said, before full on sprinting up the staircase towards his room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Here we are,” Kirishima announced, turning off the engine to his beat-up, red pickup truck.

“Thanks for coming along with me Kiri,” you smiled at him.

“It’s no problem, really. I like spending time with you.” His smile was tender and genuine.

“That’s sweet of you. I like spending time with you too,” you said, reaching for the handle of the door.

“Nuh-uh, what do you think you’re doing?” He gently grabbed your forearm, effectively stopping you from opening the door.

You quirked an eyebrow in confusion. “Opening the door to get out??”

“Nope, not while I’m around. A lady shouldn’t have to open a door when a man is with her. I’ve told you this before,” He shakes his head in mock disappointment, not effectively hiding the upturn of the corner of his mouth. “What’s wrong with you?”

He steps out of the truck, quickly rounding the truck and reaching your door to open it. “Seriously Kiri, it’s not that big of a deal,” you said, stepping out of the truck and onto the asphalt, watching as Kirishima locked the truck before walking side by side to the giant building.

“What kind of man would I be if I didn’t open the door for you,” Kirishima asked rhetorically.

You giggled at his catchphrase, or rather catchword. As you two entered the mall, you mindlessly glanced at the stores around you. “So you’re going to buy new clothes?

“Yeah, and some snacks, too, for Girl’s Night tonight.”

“Any reason for buying more clothes?”

“Um…” You started blushing again. “It’s kinda embarrassing.”

“Oh, I get it. You don’t have to share if you don’t have to,” Kirishima reassured, not wanting to make you uncomfortable.

“Thanks,” you smiled gratefully.

You two continue on your way towards the clothing stores, when a shout suddenly sounded throughout the mall and people screamed. You both looked at each other before rushing over. There was a commotion, a young man had a kid hostage in front of the store.

“Give me my son back! Please!” A woman screamed, sounding terrified.

“Mommy!” the boy cried.

“A-Alright, listen up!” the young man stuttered, his whole body trembling as he held up his fingers to the boy’s temple in a gun position. “N-nobody try anything or else this boy is gonna get it!” Everyone stayed still as they nervously listened to his commands. “Everyone here h-hand over whatever money y-you have on you, including you register boy, or else the boy’s not going to be breathing anymore!”

“Robbery, one hostage,” you whispered to Kirishima next to you.

“And his quirk still unknown. We should be cautious about this, otherwise the kid’s gonna get hurt,” Kirishima added.

“Okay so what should we do?”

“How about I sneak up behind him while you get the kid away from him,” Kirishima suggests

“Fine with me,” you agree, going over to a potted plant as to hide your purse. “Let’s go.”

Gathering a small bit of sunlight in your palm, you directed the beam to the robber’s face, not powerful to cause permanent damage to him, but enough to temporarily blind him long enough for you to get the frightened boi away from him.

As soon as the robber yelped in surprise and closing his eyes, you sprinted forward and shoved the blinded robber away from the boy to which he fell against Kirishima who held him in a restraining hold while you jumped back with the little boy in your arms to put a bit more distance just in case. As the robber struggled again Kirishima, who didn’t even budge with all the squirming, you checked over the crying boy for any signs of injury.

Just as you were about to let the boy run over to his mother, the criminal being held by the hulking tank that is Kirishima, pressed his finger gun to Kirishima’s face and a loud bang sounded as he apparently shot at the redhead, a bullet of fire hitting him in the cheek. On instinct, Kirishima activated his quirk to protect himself, but since it was so sudden, he let of of the robber out of surprise. Once he was free, the robber aimed at the boy in front of you and fired.

Without hesitation, you threw yourself over the boy to protect him. Since you handle sunlight, you can take a bit of heat, unfortunately though… your clothes couldn’t. Next thing you knew, your blouse was catching on fire. You tried patting the fire out but obviously it wasn’t working so without thinking, you ripped off your shirt and threw it on the ground, leaving you in just your red, lacy bralette.

A thud sounded from behind you, making you turn around battle-readied, only to see Kirishima with his harden fist hanging in the air and the robber out cold on the ground. “Oh,” you said, “guess you handled that.”

Kirishima gave out a nervous chuckle, a red hue on his cheeks as he looked away. “Uh, yeah…”

A sudden shiver ran down your spine, reminding you of your current state. You let out a shriek, your cheeks now on equal footing with your crush’s red hair. You tried your best to cover yourself, your cheeks getting hotter by the second. Your embarrassment growing as well, as the stupid teenage boys your age started cat whisling at you.

Kirishima couldn’t help his red cheeks when he saw you in your bra, turning his head as to respect your privacy, but as soon as he heard the cat calls, he snapped his head towards the source; a group is rowdy guys his age looking over your general direction.

Wait… were they whistling at you?!

Glancing at you he catches how you were squirming and red in the cheeks, uncomfortable.

Nope. Not happening.

Without much thought, he took off his t-shirt he was wearing, leaving him bare, and went over to hand it to you. “Here, you can use this to cover up,” he said, the heat not entirely have left his cheeks as he trained his eyes solely on your sparkling, (e/c) eyes.

“What about you?” You asked, timidly reaching the shirt.

“No worries. Let’s just cover you up first,” he smiled reassuringly.

Smiling back gratefully, you took the offered clothing and went about putting it on. Meanwhile the group of teens were practically drooling over your figure. That is until Kirishima stepped into their view, arms across his chest with a glare starring daggers and a warning directing at them, his huge hulking frame completely blocking you from their hungry eyes. Being shirtless allowed Kirishima’s hardcore muscles to be displayed in all of their glory. It seems the red head’s goal was working, considering the group all froze up at the sight of his 6’4” muscular build, with not an ounce of fat visible. It took a moment for one of them to unfreeze and quietly urge his companions to move along before the frightening stranger decided to beat them to a pulp.

Satisfied with their scampering away with their tails between their legs, Kirishima turns back around only to be met with your figure practically drowning in his t-shirt. The heat made a complete comeback to his cheeks.You looked so adorable standing there in his clothes.

Before long, the mall’s security made their way over where they took their statements and the unconscious robber and bid the two young heroes their grattitudes before moving along to wait for the police to come and take the criminal away. Once they left, the boy and his mother walked up to you two to give their thanks as well, with the boy excitedly asking for Red Riot’s and (h/n)’s autograph which you both happily gave him, along with a picture being taken. Once the boy was satisfied and proclaiming to never washing his shirt, he and his mother left.

Kirishima turned to you. “You sure you’re okay? You’re not hurt or anything?”

You gave him a reassuring smile as you walked over to the planter in which you had hid your purse. “I’m fine. The fire didn’t burn me or anything, but I might have a bruise from where it hit me. Nothing that I can’t handle.”

“Good, good,” Kirishima nervously rubbed the back of his head.

When you secured your purse over your shoulder, you grabbed his free hand and walked in the direction of the clothing store you usually shopped at. “C’mon. The sooner we get my clothes shopping started, the sooner you can have your shirt back.” Though you didn;t really want to part with his shirt. It was completely engulfing you in his scent, something musky and manly that made you swoon.

“Aw, you don’t like seeing me shirtless?” Kirishima teased.

Hell yes, you thought to yourself. You’d have to be blind or gay to not drool over his washboard abs and bulging biceps, which you were desperately trying not to do. You didn’t want to come off as a pervert but it was hard to ignore the butterflies furiously partying around in your stomach and the intense heat coming off your cheeks.

“Yes,” you whispered, hoping to God that he didn’t hear you. He did, of course, which gave both his ego and the heat in his cheeks a nice boost. Before he could comment on it, you started, “Here we are. This is where I like to buy my clothes.”

Looking up, Kirishima saw the both of you walking towards (insert favorite clothing store).

~~~~~

Mina, having been standing far enough away from you two so as not to be noticed, grinned and squealed and she happily clapped her hands and did a little happy dance. She had followed you two as to figure out how to get you and Kirishima close, but lo and behold a robber with a fire type quirk came along, albeit she hadn’t really planned for this part to happen at all, but when your shirt was set ablaze and you tore it off in a panic, she had the perfect plan.

She had walked up to the group of teens earlier all flirty and bribed them to go over and give you plently of unwanted attention for some extra cash. Though judging by their snarky appearance, she had bet it wouldn’t be too much trouble for them to start drooling all over you.

Mina did feel a bit bad, exposing you like that and making you uncomfortable, but for the sake of the personal, covert mission she assigned herself to get her two friends together, she knew it would be well worth it. Plus you had the gentle, red-headed giant with you to comfort you in your time of distress so she didn’t let it hold her back too much.

Having the group return a bit shaken from the encounter with Kirishima, one of them shakily asked the pinkette, “W-Was that good enough?”

Giving them her signature grin, Mina handed over a few yen bills as agreed upon. “Yup! Thanks for your help guys!”

Muttering a ‘no problem’, the males continued along their way, counting the money they’ve earned, undoubtedly planning on spending it on drinks or food. Mina glanced back at you two as you lead Kirishima to your favorite store, the giant red-head’s posture now screaming protectiveness over your dignity. She was well assured that her plan to give you guys he right nudge was a success, knowing that Kirishima was planning on confessing his love to you today from her little conversation with the other guys of the Bakusquad.

Satisfied with her work, the cheerful pinkette skipped her way to her favorite store as to buy the required snacks for their girl’s night that evening, confident that you wouldn’t be returning until much later that night after your date.

~~~~~

Right away, as soon as you two entered the store, you stop by a rack of clothes, excitedly sifting through the hanging clothes.

“Sooo…” Kirishima started. “Is there a specific reason why you’re getting new clothes? Or are you just getting them for the hell of it?” He asked, mindlessly lifting up a blouse, examining it and then putting it back, and that’s when he looked up. Immediately, he felt a sweat drop sliding down the side of his face at all the hungry, drooling ladies in the store shamelessly staring at his bare torso.

“Um, I guess you can say a bit of both,” you responded, checking out a blouse that seems to have caught your attention. “I accidentally burned some of my blouses when using my quirk.”

“How’d you managed that?” Kirishima found what appears to be a pink sleeping shirt that said ‘Donut Worry Be Happy’ with sprinkles all over and a donut in the middle. “Hey this is cute,” Kirishima said, showing you the shirt. He was silently begging you to get it, he knew you’d be adorable in it and he was desperate to see it in person.

You looked over to see the shirt your best friend was holding up. “Oh my god!” You squealed excitedly, taking the shirt from him. “I love this! I’m so getting this. Great find, Kiri!”

Once you turned around, Kirishima silently fist pumped in victory. “Well, anyway. You know how a magnifying glass can concentrate the sunlight and you can start fires with it? Well my quirk is kinda like that. And because of that, there has been more than one occasion where I accidentally burnt my clothes, as much I hate to admit it.”

“Oh, okay I get it,” Kirishima said.

After finding a couple more outfits, you dragged your very shirtless, very hot best friend to the dressing rooms to get his opinion on the outfits you chose. As you showed off the outfits you chose, to which Kirishima said that each one looked great on you.

You guys were started getting goofier, as time went on, you two acted as if you were in a fashion show, with you strutting around in a new outfit each time striking a new pose every minute, even going as far as fixing your hair in messy styles for each one, be it a quick, braid, bun, or ponytail.

As Kirishima patiently waited for you to step out with the next shirt, you called out. “Oh my god, I think this one is my favorite so far! I think this would great with heels though. Hey Kiri?”

“Yeah?”

“You see those heels I was eyeying earlier before we came to here?”

Looking to his left where the wall was covered with shelves and shelves of shoe boxes plus the ones on display, he sees the pair you were talking about. “The white heels, right?” He asked, already walking over to them.

“Yeah, can you see if they have (insert shoe size)?”

Mumbling the shoe size you gave him as he scanned the boxes, he spots the only size that you requested. “You are in luck, milady. There is only one left.”

“Thank you very much, my good sir,” you giggled reaching your hand out for the shoes without revealing the shirt you were wearing. “I’ll be but a moment,” you impersonated a proper tone hand and shoes disappearing behind the closed curtain again.

While Kirishima waiting idly (and trying his best to ignore the hungry stares still directed at him), he decided to ask for some dating intel in the form of small talk. “So hey, random question. Have you ever thought about dating?” Yeah, so not obvious. Way to go, Kirishima.

You paused your struggle with the second heel strap. “What kind of question is that? Of course I have.”

“Oh,” Kirishima simply said. “So, you have a crush on anyone?”

Staying in your position in front of the full-length mirror, you thought about it. Obviously, you had a big fat crush on the male just on the other side of the curtain, but was this his way of finding out if you liked anyone for himself or just out of curiosity? “Yeah… there is someone I really like, but I doubt he’s noticed me at all.”

“Oh? What’s he like?” Kirishima asked, nervous as all hell that you liked someone else.

“Well, he has spiky hair.. Gorgeous red eyes that shine like rubies… he looks intimidating as hell when you first see him, but actually nice once you get to know him… and he’s really handsome, too,” you blushed, lightly hugging yourself as you pictured Kirishima in your head.

Said male had gone quiet, his heart dropping all the way down into his stomach, the weight feeling like a bowling ball. Wait… Do… Do you have a crush on Bakugou?! “Oh… um… he-he sounds like a lucky guy,” Kirishima responded, trying to keep the tremor and disappointment out of his voice.

Dammit, am I too late? Kirishima cursed his reluctance at approaching you with his feelings.

“W-...What about you? Do you like someone?” You asked, heart hammering in your chest in anticipation to his answer.

“Yes,” he said, causing your heart to stop.

“What’s she like? She’s gotta be amazing for you to like her,” you tried to keep your voice cheery, happy that your best friend had found someone, but a whimper threatened to spill past your lips as tears gathered against your lower lashes, your bottom lip wobbly.

“She’s so amazing. She’s strong, and kind, and sweet, and she’s probably the most beautiful woman I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing,” Kirishima gushed, a dreamy look on his face. “She does (insert hobby 1), and (insert hobby 2), and she’s so good at it. And she can make some really delicious food, though she swears up and down the road that she’s not that great of a cook, but I can’t help but love every single bite of it.”

“That’s… that’s great,” you said, unable to keep out the tear-filled tone out of your voice.

“Wait, are you crying?!” Kirishima panicked.

You sniffled, hugging yourself tighter, “No.”

Kirishima stayed quiet for a moment. And deciding to be a man and take that leap of faith, he continued, “Though, I admit, she is a little dense.”

That caught you off guard. “Huh?”

“I mean, you would think she’d at least notice a little bit how much time I spend with her,” He said, laughing out loud, partly out of nerves. “Or how no matter the hour during the night, if she came to my dorm crying, I would drop everything to make her feel better, and will do the stupidest shit just to see her smile and laugh. Or how she is literally the sunshine of my life, and with her quirk, its just makes it even more true.”

Your eyes widened. Was he talking about someone with a quirk similar to yours? No, it couldn’t be, there was no possible way he was talking about you, it must be some huge coincidence.

“Or how whenever we go stargazing with each other at night, I have never looked up at the sky, not even once, before. No star, or constellations that she makes up could ever compare to the stars in her (e/c) eyes. (Y/N)... you’re just so perfect, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be good enough for you.”

You whipped around so fast, you actually tripped over the clothes that were scattered at your feet, causing you to curse as you fell, hitting you head against the wall of the dressing room with a rather loud thud as you fell right on your bottom.

Hearing the loud, resonating thud, Kirishima panicked and went into hero mode, rushing to pull back the curtain to see if you were harmed or not. Quickly finding you on the floor, tenderly rubbing the back of your head, your expression pinched with slight pain.

“Hey, are you okay?!” Kirishima worried, kneeling down to your level with his arms outstretched as if to catch you should you fall over all of a sudden.

“Yeah, just banged my ass and head is all,” you groaned, still tenderly rubbing the sore spot, sitting up more.

“Here, let me check your head.” Before you could protest that you were perfectly fine, Kirishima gently cradled your head and tenderly pushed your head forward so he could check out the damage that had been done. You instantly shut your mouth, your cheeks blooming into a rosy color at the close proximity, smelling his natural scent coming from his bare skin. “Well, you have a slight bump but that’s about it,” he concluded, letting your head go. “But I don’t know if you’ll end up with a concussion or not.”

You shoke your head, saying in a soft voice, “I doubt it. I’ve hit my head harder on missions.”

Once he was sure enough that you would be alright, it was then that he noticed what you were wearing and he couldn’t help but blush. It was a one sleeved crop top that showed a moderate amount of clevage, the end of it reaching above your cute belly button, and it was such a nice shade of red, almost reminding him of his hair color.

“That’s uh… That’s a really nice blouse,” he complimented, suddenly flustered at how beautiful you looked along with the blouse you were currently wearing looking up at him through your hair which was hanging down, eyes big and doe like.

Completely blanking on the compliment thrown your way, you continued to stare at him in awe as you processed what he had said earlier. “…Did you mean what you said?”

“Oh, uh,” his hand shot up to rub his neck nerviously, chuckling. “Well yeah, of course. It would be pretty unmanly if I lied. And… it would be pretty unmanly for me to not tell you how I feel about you.”

“H-How you feel…?” Kirishima prayed that that sparkle in your (e/c) eyes was hope as you subconsciously leaned closer to him in anticipation.

“I’m just- I’m gonna just come out and say it,” Kirishima said, more to himself though as to encourage himself. Taking a deep breath, reached out and ever so gently held your cheek as though you were fragile and can break at any moment, and looked into those sparkling (e/c) eyes he loved so much. “I really, really like you (Y/n). For a long time now.”

Tears gathered in your eyes as a brilliantly bright smile spread across your beautiful face, rivaling the sun. “Really?”

“Yes really,” Kirishima confirmed, your bright smile bringing forth a bright grin of his own.

“Am I dreaming?” You giggled nervously, hoping to god that he wasn’t pranking you or anything. It all seemed so surreal and like a dream. “You actually like me?”

Kirishima laughed. “I’ll even go as far as say I love you.”

You leaned forward until your forehead bumped with his hard chest, clenching your fists against him. “This isn’t a dream…” you whispered happily. “You actually like me.”

“And I would be just as happy if you will have me as your man,” Kirishima muttered into your hair, bringing his arms around you in a hug.

“Yes!” You didn’t hesitate in accepting his proposal. You squealed in delight as Kirishima squeezed you tight in his arms, rocking the both of you back and forth.

Pulling away, you were blinded by his bright grin. “Let’s go to the movies!”

“What, right now?” You giggled, wiping at your tears.

“Yes! We can do a movie and dinner date! I know the food court isn’t probably the most appealing, but I want to take you on a date right now, especially in that amazing outfit you have on now,” Kirishima rambled, his excitement reminding you of a hyper puppy dog.

“Okay, let’s do it!” You couldn’t help but share his excitement, completely forgetting the fact that you had girl’s night later that evening and the reason you came to the mall was to grab snacks for it.

Right away, Kirishima helped you pick up the clothes that you were going to buy, in the process, finding and putting on his own shirt, insisting that you keep the shirt and wedge heels on for you last minute date. The both of you were practically jumping at the seams with excitement as you went up to the register. Being the gentleman that he is, Kirishima tried insisting that he pay for the clothes and heels for you, but you argued that you were perfectly capable on paying for them on your own, the two of you continued going back and forth as the cashier looked between you two as you argued who was paying as she tried her best not to laugh.

Ultimately you allowed to pay for the shirt you were currently wearing, the sleep shirt he found and the heels, but no more. As you paid the cashier for all the other clothes, you laughed at Kirishima’s grumbling, reaching up to kiss away his pout. After paying, you two had decided to stop by the theaters in the mall to choose and pay for a movie, and this time you let Kirishima pay. As you awaited for the time of the movie, you walked around sharing a pretzel as a snack as you continue doing a bit more shopping, with Kirishima also buying you a stuffed animal because what kind of man would he be if he didn’t buy you a plushie as a memento of your first date?

On your way towards the food court, you could hear Kirishima humming My Only Sunshine with a satisfied expression on his face. “Are you really humming that?” You laughed.

Kirishima grinned down at you, lacing his fingers with yours and swinging your arms. “I can’t help it if you’re the light of my life.”

[nexyra]

RWBY's Love Language - Part 2

Hello friend ! I'm back at it with a second part and whatever character I can think of ! (Among which best boy Oscar because he deserves it, and also more adults)

Let's go !

***

Oscar Pine

So ! While I love Oscar with my whole heart, honestly guessing his Love Language is no easy feat. One thing for sure : touch isn't is thing even if it's how everyone else chose to communicate their love.

I saw a post a while back detailing how Oscar is always putting his hands up as a barrier when he's scared or uncomfortable and that makes me cry a little instead but it's true TT. Anyway...

In the latest volumes we've got quite a bit of comforting Oscar-talks but I have to wonder how much of that is due to Ozpin's influence really. As a result I've decided to settle on... Acts of Service or Quality Time ! This is based on a few details : when people are upset with him in one shape or form, Oscar was always very eager to prove himself useful, give some aspect of concrete help (such as cooking a Casserole, ringing any bell ?). Plus I imagine that's the exact brand of help his Aunt would have needed most on a farm. Added to that, he always seems fairly happy to be included, be with the others no matter what's going on. Training ? Yay ! A movie with Jaune & Weiss ? Smiling puppy look. Fancy party ? Shenanigans together ! So yea, I love seeing my boy loved and hugged but please everyone settle for the loving he's most comfortable with <3

“She made a choice! A choice to put others before herself! So do I.”

“Oh, uh, yeah. I thought you guys would appreciate a hot meal after... spending all day looking for me, apparently.”

“No, it's okay. These past few days, I've been scared of the same things you were. I don't know how much longer I'm going to be... me. But I did some thinking, and I do know that I want to do everything I can to help with whatever time I have left.”

- - - - - - - - - -

Ozpin

For our favorite immortal wizard aka not quite dead Headmaster... I think the answer is rather obvious. When you're so careful with your words, but also so fiercely devoted to humanity, Words of Affirmation is a must. Ozpin constantly does his best to calm, to reassure. He's good at controlling the conversation and getting people where he wants... Except he more often than not use it to make them think and help them reach an healing ore motivating conclusion. This man is so insisten on giving and cultivating hope, so painfully aware of just how much words can change... There's no doubt in my mind that it's through these very same words that he tries to fight the darkness in others' mind, even when they don't want to let themselves be persuaded. And with some help from the farmboi, Ozpin is gaining in honesty and earnestness. And that can only help in giving comfort.

But to be honest... If you offer him a hug I doubt he'd refuse, and he definitely deserves one. Also therapy. For Oscar too. Everyone in therapy 2k21.

“Ruby. I've made more mistakes than any man, woman, and child on this planet. But at this moment I would not consider your appointment to leader to be one of them. Do you?”

“It's not every day that friends are able to come together like this. Time has a way of testing our bonds, but it's nights like these that can help keep them stronger than ever. Nights like these are ones we'll never forget.”

“Don't worry, Mr. Arc. Your journey is far from over, and the same might be said for all of you. Unlocking your Semblance isn't the end. It can still grow and evolve. Providing you are willing to put in the work, who knows what could happen?”

- - - - - - - - - -

Emerald Sustrai

Now here I'm gonna go ahead and say that the way Emerald has been taught to express her love and the way SHE would rather preffered to be loved most likely do not align. At the side of someone like Cinder, and even Mercury who isn't exactly the most emotionally vulnerable person; the only brand of love that gets an easy pass is Acts of Service, and that's probably what Emerald is the most used to. I can go on a mission with you. I can help. We go right back to the "I can be useful" mentality and I'm not sure she's been shown any other way honestly. Let's be real though : if someone offered a hug or some gentle words ? She'd probably pout & fuss but I hardly doubt she'd object.

“I don't care about Salem! But I owe Cinder everything. You want to fight her that bad? Be my guest.”

“I just... Cinder was the only family I ever had. She cared about me, taught me things... But without her here, I don't know if what we're doing--”

“I've been working on my Semblance. I can help. I won't tell anybody.”

- - - - - - - - - -

Pyrrha Nikos

What's with everyone and dedicating their whole love toward just helping their teammates anyway they can ?! Stop ! But any way, you guessed it. I'm pretty sure one of Pyrrha's top way of showing love is Acts of Service, and nothing means quite as much to her as Quality Time. For someone who's been put on a pedestal and has a hard time relating to people; both touch and words can be a bit awkward. But if they're wrapped up neatly in a training session or semblance explanations ? Well that's already a more familiar area. Pyrrha gives her whole to her friends and those she cares about. And in exchange, if anyone can simply... be there and spend time with her... May it be at the ball or simply sitting in the courtyard... I'm sure our girl would be delighted.

“Jaune, you know if you ever need help, you can just ask.”

“I'm constantly surrounded by love and praise; but when you're placed on a pedestal like that for so long, you become separated from the people that put you there in the first place. But thanks to you, I've made friendships that will last a lifetime.”

“I'll do it. If you believe this will help humanity, then I will become your Fall Maiden.”

- - - - - - - - - -

Qrow Branwen

If I say Gift Giving for the corvid, is someone gonna hit me ? Come on it's fun ! Okay, more seriously... I think this kind of love conversation is kind of a necessity for Qrow. With a semblance such as Bad Luck, making everything complicated... Qrow tries to keep his distance from those he cares about. And since he's an emotionally repressed (but caring) asshole on top of it... Well that kinda narrows down his option. You know what DOESN'T put anyone at risk but can still bring smiles on their face ? GIFTS. Shiny things, souvenirs from his missions all over the world to give to 2 smol nieces. Sounds safe right ? That said, as any good emotionally unavailable character in this show, I gotta say Qrow probably has a thing for helping out and making himself useful in relation to Oz, Tai or the rest of the inner circle. So you know what that means *whisper* Acts of Service.

That said ! When it comes to receiving some love back... Qrow probably likes everything he doesn't allow himself to have. Soft touches, loving & comforting words, spending time with a friend without his semblance making everything complicated... We know that's all he wants.

“You idiot. I know you didn't do this.”

“Look, pal, I'm not sure who you are, but you need to leave my niece alone.”

“No one wanted me... I was cursed... I gave my life to you because you gave me a place in this world... I thought I was finally doing some good...”

- - - - - - - - - -

Clover Ebi

And among our newbies (and gone too soon) friends we have Clover ! Clover was a very good contrast to our dusty old crow but also a great help. Kind-hearted, perceptive and honest; he knew just how to put Qrow's self-loathing in his place and push him to give himself some credit. He always had a nice word or a joke for everyone, and visibly the rock of the Ace Ops : an expert a keeping the moral up and the mood companiable. Evidently, Words of Affirmation was his expertise. Had things gone differently, I'm sure we'd have had time for many more earnest and helpful conversations with this teal-eyed fisherman.

“It's a good thing they had someone to look up to and get them through it. Not everyone is so lucky.”

“I meant deflect a compliment. Those kids wouldn't be where they are without you. You've had more of an effect on them than you realize.”

“We don't have to fight, friend.”

- - - - - - - - - -

Winter Schnee

And today in the "emotionally unavailable" category we have... Winter Schnee ! TALK ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS PEOPLE ! Just - I would say look at Ruby but even she doesn't talk about her bad vibes... Nor does any of the "Words of Affirmation" peeps. Honestly what's wrong with y'all people ? Anyway Winter cares so much. Is it hidden behind professionalism and a stern *big sister* demeanour ? Sure. But it doesn't negate just how much she loves her closed ones. She's fiercely loyal, and even if she doesn't let her personal feelings get in the way of her duty and doing what needs to be done, no one is allowed to say she doesn't care. Countrary to Weiss, Winter doesn't seem as good nor as aware of the love that exists in simply *being* with people. Rather, she's dutiful and ready to help any way she can when given the chance. You guessed it, yet another Acts of Service kind of love... Maybe I'm doing this wrong XD. I'm on the fence about Words of Affirmation as well. Despite her standoffish looks, Winter has always been very open & reassuring during her discussions with Penny. But she's more stern when it comes to Weiss so I dunno x)

“I don't recall asking about your ranking, I'm asking how you've been. Are you eating properly? Have you taken up any hobbies? Are you making new friends?”

“You've grown up a bit, haven't you? You're not the little girl clinging to the family name anymore.”

“You can't just buy trust like everything else! You have to earn it!”

And that's it for Part 2 ! I might do some other characters if people suggest some but I don't have a pressing need to right now. I have many ideas of songs to apply to various characters however so that's prob what my next posts will consist of (or fun templates)

If anyone has tips to create RWBY gifs or links to download the eps in good quality I'll take it ! Good day everyone !

[beautifulsnake2162020]

Ikevamp headcanons after watching Hamilton

Quick disclaimer: Yes I know this is a show about people who had owned slaves and slavery is bad. Having said that there's a reason why we suspend disbelief for a couple of hours and just allow ourselves to be swept into the story. I also love Phantom of the Opera but I also am aware that this is a story that involves an abusive and toxic relationship. The point is that I am aware that there are problems that needs to be discussed, but I still love the music, the story and the shows okay. This is just fan content not meant to be taken seriously and is just for fun. Okay? Now let's proceed.

I'll be doing Will and Arthur first since I'm currently doing Shakespeare's route and was inspired to do this after MC watches Romeo and Juliet with Vincent and I was wondering how Will would react to watching Hamilton. And Arthur is here because he is my husband/main lover. I might do Mozart and Napoleon next.

SPOILER ALERT: For anyone who hasn't seen the Disney Plus version of Hamilton, there might be some spoilers here (unless you already saw the show or know the story that is).

General Scenario:

You don't know how but Le Comte was able to get the filmed version of Hamilton, a musical which you've told Sebastian that you've been dying to see but was never able to because tickets were always sold out and entering the lottery was going to be a little too expensive for someone who lives in Japan and who doesn't exactly have the money or the time to simply fly to New York if in case she won. You were also excited because apparently Le Comte was able to modify the 21st century tech room that you use for your online classes and was able to get a wide screen and high quality surround sound which made you appreciate his efforts. A part of you was also curious as to how the other residents would react. You were scared that some of them might take offense, especially Napoleon who knew one of the characters in the show in real life. Would they react weirdly for seeing people different from them portray people that they knew? You were also wondering if they might even appreciate some of the 21st century slang that you and Sebastian would sometimes slip back into whenever it was just the two of you alone. After talking it out with everyone and explaining a few more things (like how its probably going to be different since it is a series of captured pictures-or at least that's your closest analogy- being played super fast with the synchronized sound of the actors- or what you were almost tempted to call "Techno Magic") during a dinner in which Shakespeare had decided to be present in, they were actually interested in what this show is about. Napoleon convinced you that he's fine and actually someone else playing Lafayette might even help with the suspension of disbelief since its been awhile since he has last met him anyway. Will even mentioned that while he has read and heard about stories from America, this is probably going to be the first story or production he's going to see from it. The only one who showed any hesitation - to no one's surprise - was Mozart, since he is attached to the kind of music he is familiar with (aren't we all?). But after prodding from both Jean, Le Comte and you giving him the puppy eyes, he finally relents. The day comes when everyone was once again free and for practicality everyone decided to have a meal first so that they won't be hungry during the show and also for you, Le Comte, and Sebastian to explain a few things everyone else may need to know to truly appreciate the show (like how the Presidential system and elections worked during the setting, what the word "Rewind" means, what is beatboxing, etc). So finally everyone gathered into the tech room after the meal, the lights were dimmed and once everyone was settled, you hit play. And as self-predicted of you, you find yourself crying in the end.

William Shakespeare (I'm still doing his route so please don't hate me if I get him wrong. Also no spoilers please).

- He was a bit shocked at first by how exactly up close you could see the facial expressions of the actors as well as the various ways it would cut to another person. He could now understand why you struggled with trying to explain how its played in a theatre but not exactly like the theatrical experience. But as you saw in your periphery, by the time Philippa Soo sings her first line, Will had already adjusted and allowed himself to be an audience and shut off his director and actor mindset (for the most part at least).

- While he didn't specialize in musicals, he found himself paying attention to the story of "the ten dollar founding father without a father." He knows how music could help both the actors and the audience in succumbing to their emotions in a scene and to suspend disbelief from reality. In his productions the words are not overwhelmed by any score but rather complemented to bring out the emotion he wants to evoke and for actors to show. Since many parts of the show has been influenced by the spoken word style without completely removing it from being sung, he has become enlightened with how powerful a show can be when it is done right.

- He not only enjoyed the story (especially the flow of it) and the production (especially some of the more technical details that the other residents hadn't noticed as far as a stage production is concerned), he loved that even the ensemble members had good acting and some of the onstage humor. One of the meta things he enjoyed was the obvious reference to his most superstitious work.

- Once you've seen how he loves analyzing the technical details of the production, you excitedly tell him about a special member of the ensemble who is known as "The bullet" among fans of the show. You could see him being enlightened as he watches the show with you again (this time with just the two of you) and he now sees "the bullet" and the way she interacts with the characters in a whole different light. He was so impressed with this idea that he may have adapted it into one of his new original plays (its not a copy paste of Hamilton's "bullet" but he definitely adapted assigning a member of the ensemble to have a special role that may not be significant at first, but he heavily notes that this member would have to be unique in interacting with any of the other characters).

- He didn't know what to expect from a 21st Century production but he found himself impressed with the prose and writing of various raps and songs. His favorite from Act 1 in terms of rhyme schemes was "Right Hand Man" and from Act 2 it was Jefferson's rap in "Washington by your side". And after settling down a bit his favorite emotional parts were "History has its eyes on you", "Hurricane", and "It's quiet uptown".

- He was impressed with how the double roles was given and how it actually is true for both of their roles in both acts. Ambiguity is one of his favorite things to have in a work, and he gives props to Lin for all the ambiguity he later realizes was in several parts of the show. If he and Arthur had been a little bit more closer, they probably would have bonded over the ambiguity Hamilton's comma in his letter to Angelica (see kids, grammar matters).

- A part of his brain wonders how the real life Hamilton would react to this and if him and Burr would still be enemies. But after some thinking he decides its not worth his efforts of asking anyone to bring them back since a wonderful production of their life has already been made even if it may not necessarily reflect who they truly are. He of all people knew what it's like to be inspired by great figures, it was fortunate that Lin Manuel Miranda decided to make a show about them before he had the chance to.

- You explain that in America Hamilton is one of the lesser known founding fathers of their nation and how it may be because his political opponents later on became Presidents and therefore was able to form the narrative. He becomes inspired by it and begins to search out people or stories who are hidden gems who may not be historically famous but had much more interesting stories than some of the ones he has heard of.

- Afterwards once you are sure that he has gotten comfortable enough with the genre you show him various videos of people rapping to his works and his reactions range from impressed to amused to "that's not what I mean when I wrote that" and you had to calm him down and explain that they can't hear him anyway after he started giving serious critiques on what the text means.

Arthur Conan Doyle

- While he was knowledgeable about many things, America's founding fathers was not one of them. He along with the other residents have gotten used to any rumors or exaggerated accounts of their lives and you and Sebastian have already warned that this is just a fictionalized production of the real person. As a writer of some historical fiction books he argued that he of all people was aware that any work based on history will speak more about the creators rather than the actual people they are writing about most of the time. He was nevertheless interested as to why you have become fascinated with the treasury secretary (and maybe it was with a twinge of jealousy that you began to expressly show admiration to another man even if he wasn't among the residents in the mansion). After all unlike many other residents of the mansion, on the surface it seemed that Hamilton was similar to Theo who mainly played a supporting but crucial role to his brother. He was thankful that you didn't hold it against him and was comforted that you were in a similar place. You even told him that the only thing you really knew about Hamilton before listening to the soundtrack and watching "Animatics" was that he was in the ten dollar American bill.

- And as someone who has delved into writing historical fictions, this was probably one of the most entertaining productions about a historical figure he has seen. He's going to be honest with you in that at first he was wondering if revealing Burr shot Hamilton in the opening was going to hinder him from enjoying the show; but he was pleasantly surprised that this was not the case at all. As a matter of fact it now made him want to find out who the real Hamilton was (although a part of him doubts if the real Hamilton had any regrets at all). According to him, this is why as a fictionalized historical work, the show is a success because it makes you want to find out more about the events and figures of the story (even if it means looking at darker realities that they did). And while the real Hamilton may be a lot different from what was shown, with all the things he went through and all the things he has done (for better or worse), he now wonders why exactly Le Comte hadn't approached him since he seems to be no better or worse than the average resident ("He and Newt could probably discuss mathematics all day."). You then explained that his political rivals (Jefferson and Madison from the show, and Monroe who wasn't shown in the musical) had later on become Presidents and was able to shape the narrative away from Hamilton. "Ron Chernow made Hamilton's biography because he was the lesser known founding father who was fading into obscurity among Americans and Lin read the book and recognized the story of someone who has risen through his writings. And to Lin that was also the story of hiphop." While he wasn't involved in politics as much as Hamilton was, Arthur had enough experience to know what it feels like to have those kinds of people in power. He also knows just how powerful it is to be in "the room where it happened" and how sometimes the real decisions weren't being made in an office but rather in either a private party or the right bar when people in power had their guard down and were more susceptible to being influenced.

- He could relate a lot with Hamilton on many things that he's only comfortable allowing either you or Theo to see. From being just so much more aware of death's inevitability coming for every living thing to survivor's guilt even though a part of him knows its irrational (but sometimes the emotional nonsense just overtakes our perspectives and actions). It's why he could understand Hamilton's need to write as much as he can before he dies. It's why for a time in his human life he had deviated from writing about Holmes and ventured into other genres. He could also relate to the need to prove what type of person he was, and how to go beyond his tragedies to serve people in their own ways. Hamilton did it as a soldier and the creator of America's financial system. And he is doing it as an informally practicing doctor and as a writer. It's a need that he's trying to mitigate since you've repeatedly told him that he doesn't need to prove anything to you or to anyone and to write whatever he pleases. But he also can't deny that it's still somewhere lodged in the back of his head.

- Just like William Shakespeare, in terms of the wordplay found in rap and the ambiguity present in the show and how those things were executed made him amazed and momentarily speechless. He was especially fanboying about "The comma after dearest" and how this essentially shows how important grammar was. It went to the extent that afterwards whenever he would write to you he would address you either as "My dearest, Y/N" or "My darling, Y/N" with special emphasis on the comma (sometimes you could see how there's more ink in the comma than some of the actual words. That's how much he wants to emphasize that you hold the title of dearest or darling). And you excitedly share with him some of the trivia knowledge of the show (like how in real life it was Angelica who originally made the comma mistake by writing to Hamilton as "My dear, sir" in one of her letters and it was Hamilton who was asking her what the comma means and even replied with "Ma chere, soeur") and how Angelica really did reference the Icarus metaphor in one of her letters to Eliza. And even though he wasn't a major musical nerd (he sang for fun), he would now join you in watching Howard Ho's Hamilton videos musically analyzing Hamilton (and would probably try to find a way to use this knowledge to annoy Mozart in some way).

- Speaking of music: Maybe it's because he's biased in his love for you but aside from Sebastian he's probably the one who has no qualms about the hiphop genre and was immediately into the various wordplays that rapping allowed. And because of this his favorite characters in terms of rapping are the ones played by Daveed Diggs (probably more than Hamilton himself even though you've explained that Lin is the one who wrote the whole thing). He even adapts to how Daveed as Jefferson would say Isaac's third law and incorporated it into his "let's tease Newton" kit. That's when you know he really loves Daveed Diggs ("Every action has an equal opposite -" "WILL YOU PLEASE STOP SAYING IT THAT WAY?! I didn't mind the first few times but this is ridiculous Arthur" "It must be nice, it must be nice to have a Newton on your side"). And his favorite character emotionally was Angelica (her raps in Schuyler Sisters and Satisfied may have helped).

- Speaking of the Schuyler Sisters, after watching it with you another time (this time with just the two of you) one of his favorite things to say is that you've got the best of all three sisters within you (Angelica's wittiness and intelligence, Eliza's cares for the more important things in life, and Peggy's humor) with the sexiness of Maria Reynolds. But because he sees all 4 of them in you he has the benefit of not needing to choose among them. Having said that there will be a period wherein he teases you if he makes you "Helpless" or "Satisfied" (and you respond either by kissing him or singing "That would be enough").

- Whenever you would sing as one of the Schuyler sisters he will join you as any of the male characters the moment he masters the soundtrack and could even sing it without the music. His favorite rap songs are "Guns and Ships", "Washington on your side", and of course "Satisfied". He also really loves "Non-stop", "the 10 duel commandments", and "The room where it happened". But his favorite sequence is from "the Winter's Ball" all the way to "Wait for it". Since it has romance, a shocking revelation, and gives insight to the perspective of the antagonist. He's also one of the first people to attempt to learn the choreography whenever he's in one of his mental blocks in writing. Of course he makes sure not to injure himself.

- He posts song lyrics to keep himself motivated in his times of mental block "There's a million things I haven't done. But just you wait" and "I'm not throwing away my shot" frequently appear around his desk.

-And whenever he's feeling low or insecure, just like Eliza you remind him to "Look around, Look around, how lucky we are to be alive right now."

[mxgilray]

Loki Season 1 Thoughts

Overall, I really liked this series. It has some issues without question, but I sincerely don't think it's the dumpster fire so many viewers on this site treat it as. Did it go how I expected? Not at all? Did I enjoy the heck out of it and look forward to it every Wednesday? Hell yeah!

Loki's Good Guy Personality

A big complaint many have had with it is how much Loki's demeanor has changed and how his emotional growth feels rushed or his personality is ooc. Truth is, he saw his entire future, saw what his angry, power hungry, I-work-alone persona would get him in the end, and it snapped him back to reality. He has always been shown to be quite emotional and craving attention and lacking in self assurance, it's just in the past movies he's masked it with violence and fake narcissism, and he's always been a secondary character so his perspective is rarely shown. But if you really pay attention it's obvious he isn't truly villainous; we all know that, it's largely why he has such a huge fan base.

Right after meeting Mobius, Loki got an infodump of his future, saw his parents both die, found out that free will means jack shit, and learned he's absolutely powerless in this realm. On top of that, this is 2012 Loki, fresh off of being under Thanos' control, suddenly being shown that the guy who controlled him is going to end up killing him. Frankly,, I think it all broke Loki. He was too shook up by it all and by the sheer helplessness he found himself in at the TVA that he let all his barriers down momentarily. Just long enough for him to open up to Mobius about his motivation and his lack of self confidence. And you know what I bet? Loki felt relieved after talking to Mobius. A weight was lifted, because he bore his heart to someone and wasn't rejected or laughed at or treated like a psycho. And after letting his walls down fully, Loki didn't feel the need to put all of them back up. He stayed guarded around other people, but he didn't need to pretend around Mobius. Mobius has seen under the mask, so Loki doesn't feel pressure to perform as an all knowing, all powerful God around Mobius. That freedom is life changing.

People who gravitate towards broken, pseudo-villain characters do so because we relate to their internal conflict, their mental illness, their need to fake it around everyone close to them. Their turmoil and depression and self destructive behavior are familiar and we see ourselves reflected in their actions. Now, when a person really truly let's their guard down, drops all their layers of facade, and embraces themself, they tend to change demeanor and even personality pretty drastically. It's jarring in real life, so of course when it happens to a fictional character who you usually relate to it is going to be jarring, maybe even more so because it feels like a change you yourself would never go through. I know this sounds bad and people might get at me for it, but...

I believe the issue here is that a large part of Loki's fan base doesn't want him to get better. They don't want him to move past his mental illness, to learn how to cope with anger and disappointment in healthier ways, to be happy. They like his damaged persona, they like the internal conflict. Maybe it's because they're still at that low place themself and feel like a relatable character is getting taken away from them, maybe it's because they don't understand how much being at peace with yourself can alter a person and to them it feels like he's been changed too much. To those of us mostly on the up and up from battling depression and mental illness, it's comforting to see Loki getting a chance to be genuinely happy and accepting of himself.

Sylki and Lokius

First things first, I'm not anti anything. Ship what you want, idc. Personally, I do not see the Sylki dynamic as romantic, but I get why people read it that way. I thought the series did a good job of showing unrequited love, namely Loki falling for Sylvie and Sylvie feeling zero romance towards him. This was aware of his attraction and in the end used it as a distraction so she could get the upper hand. The show played up the potential romance because we are viewing things from Loki's perspective and he's become smitten as a kitten. I do think in the long run they'll have a more sibling-like dynamic, one Loki realizes that you can feel extreme love and care for a person without it being romantic. I enjoyed how the show explored their relationship, though I do wish they hadn't had every character under the sun mention their moment on Lamentis-1 like it was some big deal to bond with someone you're about to die with.

I'm bitter towards the development of Lokius. It had a strong start in the beginning, and in ep 5 had some potential reignited, but then they had Mobius not know who Loki is at the end. I'm still hoping they're playing the long game with this ship and that it'll come to fruition partway through season 2. The chemistry is there, and Mobius knows Loki very intimately and isn't put off by his past. Loki also feels much more at ease around Mobius than he does around Sylvie. It's the comfort of a deep loving bond with Mobius verses the nervousness of a new crush that he feels for Sylvie.

I don't think Loki is quite aware of his feelings for Mobius, simply because it's based in friendship and mutual respect and isn't a hot and heavy lust. Plus, as soon as he was away from Mobius he was thrown into a near death experience with Sylvie and developed a surface crush during their heart to heart. Since Loki's still figuring out what genuine feelings are beyond anger and sadness, he sees the simplistic crush he has on Sylvie as love and the intimate bond he's been forming with Mobius as friendship. He doesn't understand his own feelings yet, but I think he'll figure it out next season. I mean, he was probably already rethinking his feelings for her after she kissed and betrayed him, mentally kicking himself for expecting her to not pull a Loki betrayal like he would've in the past.

The Time Variance Authority

I really like the concept of the TVA, the structure of it, the methods they use, the deeply fucked way they recruit employees, the cult like motto, shady Miss Minutes who is definitely playing her own long game, and the blind acceptance TVA agents have of the Time Keepers' will. It's all very well done... until your dig into the core, aka He Who Remains. They built up the idea that the Time Keepers created the TVA to prevent a multiverse war and that they created agents to enforce their will. Then the creating agents turned out to be fake, the Time Keepers were fake, I expected the reason for the TVA's existence to be fake to. It felt too simple to have it genuinely exist just to keep the multiverse in check. Why the anonymity, unless it's to keep from having agents target and prune versions of himself which.. songs like a decent solution. HWR made it sound as though the multiverse war was just a bunch of versions of himself screwing shit up, so why isn't the TVA's focus on eradicating every other variant of this guy? Sounds a lot easier and nicer than fucking with the free will of every other living being. So either Marvel made a bad call when choosing what HWR's motive was for creating the TVA, or he was lying about it all to cover up something sinister.

Overall Storyline

I'm fairly happy with the plot as a whole. There were some pacing issues and I think a few missed chances for deeper conversations between various characters. While I enjoyed the Loki variants, I honestly would've been happier seeing Tom playing most the variants (except Kid Loki and Classic Loki since they are clearly different age ranges). If there is supposed to be one sacred timeline, it seems off to me that Lokis would be allowed to vary so extremely without it causing a nexus event(an alligator, whose nexus wasn't that he's an animal who obviously can't do any magic much less command Thanos' army, but that he ate someone's cat) and not just in appearance but in life path (ie boastful Loki collected all the infinity stones but it wasn't till he had 6 that he caused a nexus event even though him gaining control of the Soul, Power, and Time stones should've each caused nexus events since on the sacred timeline he never interacts with those 3 and taking any one of them would've fucked up a lot of other timeline parts)

I love the display of Lokis raw power, and 2012 Loki coming to the realization that he's way more powerful than he ever thought. And it wasn't just Classic Loki who spent thousands of years alone honing his skills, 2012 Loki reversed time on a goddamn falling building! I also liked the small magic, the fireworks, the tablecloth blanket, Loki yanking Sylvie away from HWR with just magic.

As someone who is both bisexual and genderfluid, I would've really loved more concrete representation. The comment about there never being another female Loki hit me in the gut; it undermined the Easter egg "Sex: Fluid" on Loki's TVA file. With how big a deal Sylvie being female was made out to be throughout the season, I expected her gender to play a key role in taking down the head of the TVA, like it was foretold that only a female Loki could end it all or some shit.

I don't mind the idea of Loki finding love in a straight passing relationship. I don't even mind the selfcest all that much. It just feels so obvious to me that Sylvie is written as not having any romantic inclination towards Loki, while Mobius is clearly written as falling in love with someone he shouldn't and trying to maintain an heir of professionalism to keep from wrecking his bond with Loki. I really really hope they come through on season 2 and give Lokius the canon relationship and proper representation they deserve.

Mmkay I thinks that's all the thoughts I've got right now. If you've been feeling cheated or clowned by how things went this season, maybe my perspective of things can help ease your pain.

[thefanficmonster]

Never Satisfied [Chapter 3]

Corpse Husband x Original Female Character

Warnings: Language

A collaboration between Vy & Ashens 🖤

“I can’t tell if this is a date or a debt collection“

“So where do you want to eat?” Corpse murmurs, sitting in the same car with the same girl he’d been in only a few days ago. His seatbelt clicks and he tilts his head to peer at her from his peripheral vision. She’s buckling up and getting settled in the passenger seat where no one but her has sat in for months. His cheeks turn pink when she turns to look at him, catching him staring which brings a grin to her face. 

“I’m buying you food, bud, you pick.” She answers simply, leaning back in the old seat. 

Corpse sits frozen for a minute or two as he contemplates what the best option would be. 

Nowhere? Could I get away with that though? 

His anxiety is starting to creep up again - the dark demon of his existence. The everpresent rain cloud over the parade of his life. 

What if I make myself look like an idiot. What if I picked something she doesn’t like? Would she think I’m weird? What if whatever I get makes me sick and I end up embarrassing myself! 

Wait, she’s a klepto. What if she robs me?!

“If you can’t think of a place, there’s a little bistro about ten minutes down West Colt avenue that has some pretty bangin’ Greek food.” She suggests calmly, taking his silence as indecisiveness. She’s good at picking up subtle cues, he’s thankful for that. She seems to easily be able to get along with anyone despite her wild personality. She may have a wild spirit, but she’s got the ability to tame it when needed. She’s the only one with that power from what it seems. 

Corpse takes a moment, nods and puts his car into drive to head in the directions she mentioned.

He isn’t completely sure how she’s perceived his indecisiveness though, which is bothering him - was she annoyed by it and wanted to put an end to it or was she just trying to be helpful and prevent him from getting himself worked up? His mind spirals so easily, he hates it. Even in a calm and casual - ok, as casual as it’s gonna get with this girl - scenario, his head is spinning with nothing but the worst outcomes and possibilities. That’s anxiety for ya, it’s a fucking bitch. Either way he appreciates her stepping in like that, saved him quite the bus load of anxious pondering, so the least he can do is offer her a quick smile. 

Don’t make it weird, Corpse!, he scolds himself.

She’s looking out the passenger side window, fingers tapping calmly and rhythmically against her knee, seemingly not bothered by the loud silence in the vehicle. He, however, is not so at peace with it. He’s usually the one to enjoy silences, unless he finds himself in these kinds of situations - in-closed space with another person. He tries to ask himself what would other people do to put an end to the quiet that feels almost like a physical presence. Small talk? That’s one thing he’s never been good at. Music? That’s the key here, however he can’t be sure how to properly use it to his advantage. He can’t just play whatever and expect it to be fine. He appreciates taste in people - he knows he’d be mildly offended if people didn’t respect his taste, that’s why he always pays attention to the favors of others. Especially when it comes to music. 

That’s why, before turning the car radio on, he pauses to ask: “What kind of m-“

“Anything. Really.” She says quickly, cutting him off mid-question before laughing in a certain way Corpse can’t quite place...nervously? Could that be it? That’s a sound he never expected he’d hear from her. Is that feeling even in her specter of emotions? Her? Nervous? - sounds more impossible than him being confident. 

 “Anything?” He’s curious now. She’s managed to intrigue him so easily. He smirks, switching from the radio over to the CD he has placed in the stereo. It’s a compilation of several bands he enjoys listening to, songs that help relax and soothe him. Bonus points for the effect they have on his anxiety - they always manage to suppress it even the slightest bit. Many of his favorites are on there, a lot of genre mixing as well: rap, punk, industrial. But there are also a few mellows on there, even a couple foreign songs that she might not have heard before. 

Much to his relief, a little glow appears in her eyes at the sound of the tunes that fill the car, burning brighter than the reflection of the midday sun that’s already present in them, “I’ve always loved music...haven’t found anything I don’t like.” She tells him, voice traveling softly as she closes her eyes for a moment before opening them and allowing her grin to widen, “So...my choker, huh? Thought it suited ya?”

Corpse laughs a little, low and timid as the car comes to a slow stop at a red light. “I thought it was mine, I swear.” He admits, shrugging slightly. “I go by a C name on the internet so…thought it was a product of my bullshit sentimentality or a shopping spree I can’t recall.” He swallows hard, contemplating whether mentioning he’s online was a bad move or not.

 Luckily, she doesn’t  seem to have acknowledged it, as she promptly speaks up again, “You do look good in a collar, you have that bad dog kind of vibe. If it didn’t have such sentimental value I would’ve let you keep it.” She laughs, a sound so light, almost like a glow you can see more than a voice you can hear. It’s contagious too and he can’t help but chuckle with her, blushing again. 

“You would look good in one too I bet.” He says but cringes right as the words leave his mouth. He’s quick to regret what he has said, his tongue burning with a bitter taste as he tightens his grip on the steering wheel and clenches his jaw. 

Fuck! Stupid! Stupid! Why the fuck would you say something like that?? She’s going to think you’re a fucking creepy pervert who’s imagin-

Corpse’s mental anguish is put to an abrupt pause as something warm covers the fingers of his right hand. He lets his tunnel vision focus on his hand to find hers curled over it. 

“Hey…you still with me?” She asks carefully, thumb touching one of his rings. “You don’t have to worry about offending me. It takes a lot to do that, if you can’t tell. Besides, you seem pretty cool and you’re not a narc so that’s a huge plus.” She squeezes his hand before wiggling her fingers under his palm and pulling it from the steering wheel so their fingers could intertwine. “If you need it, you can always grab my hand any time and squeeze until you don’t feel nervous. Although, you never need to be nervous around me. Consider me your personal human safety blanket. Or a….what to call it?... - A checkpoint! If everything or everyone else makes you anxious, I’m your checkpoint person where that anxiety should evaporate. Sounds good?”

Corpse stares at this literal stranger in his car. A stranger holding his hand and promising to be there for him when his anxiety overwhelms him. Letting him rely on her whenever his chest tightens or his heart speeds up. He feels so much while looking at the sight she is. Gratitude and confusion take over though. “Why would...you-..” He attempts to mutter, but she’s quick to cut him off yet again.

“Because I know what it’s like to be anxious and I wish I had somebody to help me when I was feeling that storm in me.” She replies, shrugging her shoulders with nonchalance and gives his palm another gentle and encouraging squeeze. “Even if this is a one time hang out sesh between strangers, you can count on me until we go our separate ways.” Confidence radiates from her like waves of warmth and safety. 

Her aura’s reaching out to his, offering him reassurance and comfort. And so, he decides to accept.

Corpse finally brings himself to squeeze her hand back. “-...thanks.” He murmurs, lips quirking up in a smile. 

But I don’t want this to be a one time thing…I might actually have a friend. I may have just clicked with someone like I haven’t in so long. 

She releases his hand so he could continue driving, nodding her head as if to tell him she’s still there despite the loss of contact, reassuring him that he could reestablish that contact whenever he’d like or need to. 

He now feels more comfortable in the car, more relaxed than he can even remember. Music plays from the speakers but it’s overpowered by their voices singing along to the songs they recognize. Corpse can’t help but note she sounds nice, singing like that - so carelessly. She’s by no means a Utada Hikaru, or a Mariah Carey but she knows how to hold a tune and he can appreciate that. He’s no BONES either after all.

He doesn’t want this drive to end, he doesn’t want this bubble of comfort and leisure to burst. He rarely gets the luxury of finding himself in a state like this one so peaceful yet so chaotic. So familiar despite him not having experienced it before. It all feels so natural despite how out of place it is. It’s so many things contradicting each other and it’s beautiful to him. It’s comfort, it’s happiness. It’s the absence of anxiety - a feeling he wants to enjoy for as long as possible. He has Cora to thank for this, for managing in less than a full day of knowing him what people who’ve known him for years haven’t been able to do. He’s aware that this is temporary, this car ride can’t last forever and neither can this outing. But he knows that when they step out of this car, when they leave this bubble, her hand will still be within his reach. And when this hang-out sesh is over, he’ll be able to make another one happen. There is always this big step of overcoming his anxiety he has to face whenever he wants to invite people within his proximity and in his life, but with her, that step disappears. It’s erased from existence by the simple touch of her fingers. The oddly powerful grip of her small, gentle hand. 

Corpse is not one to believe in fate, but there are some things that are inevitable. Things that are special and always happen with a reason and a message. He’s not blind either - he knows what he’s got here, with her, falls in that category of special.

@fockingwhore  @vixenl  @annshit  @wineandionysus

[jeonsblackgf-writes]

ONE PLUS ONE || 1 ||

✨Summary: Trials and Tribulations of vinnie and his gf.

✨pairing: Vinnie Hacker x black!OC

✨genre: fluff ig

✨word count: 1.7k

Both characters are like 22 in this btw.

______________________________________🖊

"Come on Rhey, it's not funny." Vin groaned, already embarrassed at the outcome of his recent tiktok. He had posted a thirst trap on tiktok with boxers on. He thought the video looked okay, until he read the comments where people were talking about his dick size.

Ignoring him, Rhey continued to laugh, her box braid up-do coming down in the process. She scrolled through the comments to read more as her boyfriend glared at her, "Look at this one someone said Your dick looks so small I bet your girlfriend uses it as a toothpick.' I AM SCREAMING"

"Ha ha ha." He grumbled, crossing his arms as he kept his eyes on her. The comments weren't even all that funny, she just wanted something to laugh at.

"Awwww is the wittle baby upset his weewee is small." Rhey playfully cooed at him, grabbing his face in her hands. His cheeks went red as he felt her warm hands move his face fro side to side in a cooing manner, as if she were his grandmother.

"Baby stop it's not funny. Someone said my dick looks like a pebble. My dick is literally 11 inches. What fucking pebble are they talking about." He complained as he stood up from the couch and went into their room. The second he closed the door, the rest of their friends came inside of her LA villa with confused faces. She completely forgot she gave them keys.

"He's mad his fans are calling his dick small." She responded before walking into their room to see him lying down, stomach on the bed with his phone in his hand scrolling through social media. She walked over to him and laid on top of him, putting her head on his shoulder so that she could whisper in his ear.

"You know I was only joking right. You have a whole girlfriend, your thirst trapping days are over." She stated her breathe fanning his ear, causing chills to run down his arms. He sighed and shrugged his shoulders. He only posted it because half his tiktok was now filled with his girlfriend. People were tired of him expressing how long they were together. It's been 8 years, them getting together at 14.

"Everyone knows you radiate big dick energy." She exclaimed, trying to cheer him up but it didn't work. He was still upset about a bunch of 12 year old calling his dick small.

Not knowing what to do, Rhey started to get up to see the rest of their friends but Vinnie quickly grabbed her and turned her around to where she was on the bed and he was on top of her.

"I was fine a long time ago. I just wanted your attention." He admitted, laying his head on her chest, their typical position. She snorted and smacked the back of his head. He laughed and kissed her cheek

"What time do you have to head back to the studio?" Vinnie asked, momentarily breaking the silence. Rhey checked her phone.

"In about an hour. I have one more song that needs to be done. I just have I finish the last verse and record it." She replied.

Of course she wasn't going to tell him that the entire song was about him...and that she named it after him. What he won't know won't hurt him. She never told him about the other songs or the album cover either, hence why she made him do a photo shoot with her a few months ago.

"Great so that gives me enough time to cuddle you and post you again." He replied, as he went onto his phone and pulled up instagram. Rhey sighed. Every time he posted her his fans went crazy for no reason. They hated the fact that he was with someone who had a much larger platform than him.

He stuck his tongue out while she puckered her lips while grabbing his face.

"Well my phone is gonna blow up. Thanks for that Vincent." Rhey sighed as she awaited the thousands of notifications from IG.

"No problem princess." He replied cheekily, giving his girlfriend a huge smile. She playfully rolled her eyes at him.

The two sat in a comfortable silence for the next 20 to 30 minutes. No we're we're spoken, just the soft sounds of breathing could be heard from both partners. They were well aware that their friends were still in their house but they didn't care.

"Wanna know what I always found funny?" Rhey asked, playing with her boyfriends fingers. Vinnie perked his head up lightly, waiting for an answer.

"When we were 18, and I was just getting started with my career and you were getting hella famous on tiktok like you are now. I was always told that you and I would never work because of our race and two completely different personalities despite them not knowing we've been together since 2012. I don't know why I think it's funny but it just is." She explained, not looking at Vinnie. She knew he had always felt some type of way when people mentioned our relationship in a negative way. He was still getting over his anger issues at the time so of course when your at the peak of your influencer career, you're gonna make some rash decisions.

"I mean i've made some bad decisions I admit, but I knew the second I met you all of that had to change. I don't know why, but there was always something about you that I had to get to know on a more personal level when we were 14. You really are a light in my life, and I wouldn't change it for anything. Even with me being 18 at that time and so blind to new found fame, I knew what I wanted and it was you." Vinnie explained himself.

There was a period of time where he knew his feelings for Rhey were real but he knew that if he wanted to be the guy she wanted him to be he had to change, so they remained friends until he got his shit together and then he finally did he built up enough courage to ask her out, and it they're still together years later.

"Oh shit! I have to go!" Rhey shrieked after checking the time on her phone, jumping up from the bed. She hurriedly grabbed her nike slides and wallet, before rushing over to Vinnie to give him a kiss, which he happily returned, but before she turned around to leave he grabbed her hand causing her to look back at him.

"Am I gonna get a little snippet of the album?" He asked sneakily, making his girlfriend laugh.

"Theres 22 songs on the album. That's the only hint you're getting." She laughed before running out of the room to head to the studio.

Fortunately she made it in time, seeing her manager standing in front of the main studio door, waiting for her. She walked up to her and smiled wearily, not wanting to be scolded for being the second one to arrive.

"It's about time!" She exaggerated, grabbing the key and opening the door. Rhey hurriedly facetimed Vinnie who answered on the second ring. His face was deadly nonchalant as he looked at her. That's when she knew he was upset that she had left him so she tried to cheer him up by posing but it didn't work.

"I'm getting a studio built in the house. I hate leaving," She sighed, making a smile to quickly etch on his face. She rolled her eyes at his childish antics.

"I'm going to a meeting. Apparently some modelling company wants to meet up with me but my agent won't tell me who so we'll see how it goes." Vinnie explained through the phone. His nerves were shot with anxiousness.

"Well let me know how it goes."

"I will, I love you."

"I love you more,"

She hung up the phone and walked into the studio to begin her session, her producer, Pierce already working on some new beats for her last verse in her last song. After that gets perfected, the album is complete.

"You ready to get this masterpiece completed?"

Rhey smiled nervously. "Let's do it!"

"I know you said your boyfriend was your main focus behind the album. Is all the songs about him?" Pierce asked as he messed with a few buttons while Rhey got her lyric book out.

"Yes each and every song is about either him or our relationship." She replied mindlessly, flipping through pages, after finding the page with her recent song on it. She started to write words down that had came to her in the morning when she woke up. She smiled once she realized she had just finished her last verse for her last song on the album.

"Listen to this and tell me what you think about it. I added some small guitar riffs on the beginning to give it more of a natural groove." Pierce stated, turning the volume up. All of her songs were a little upbeat and happy and the last song was slow and smooth. A great way to end an album.

"It's amazing Pierce." She whispered, trying to get herself not to cry. She had been trying to find a way to express her love for Vinnie for MONTHS, and this album just might've done it.

Pierce smiled, "Then get yo ass in the booth and let's record it." He pushed her into the booth and got the music ready as she started to  get herself together to sing.

A few minutes later she stopped singing and sighed in happiness. Her album was finally finished.

>1 hour later<

"BABY! VINNIE WHERE ARE YOU?" Rhey yelled as she walks through the house, rapidly throwing her things all over the place, excited to tell her boyfriend about the news.

"Bedroom." He replied.

Rhey ran inside with a smile on her face, only for it drop once she saw the long look on her boyfriends face. He sighed and grabbed her hand, making her sit beside him. His face showed distress so she news couldn't have been good.

"The surprise meeting that I was had with vogue...they wanna sign me." He sighed, clearly not happy about the offer.

"Are you kidding me? This is huge! It means we'll be under the same company! How are you not happy about this?" She exclaimed with a large smile on her face.

"It's for Vogue Paris...not L.A."

Her smile dropped...

[pluviophile-bookworm]

High School Musical: The Musical: The Series: The Rewatch pt.3

Ok, full disclosure: I should not be doing this right now. But I've been thinking about it since yesterday and, well, I reckon I can go over 1x4 and 5, and then move on to my actual work. So here we are. I'm really, really excited for these two, so without further ado, I'll dive right into:

1x4: It's hard to believe that I couldn't see... the majority of what happens in this episode when I first watched it

Why is Nini such a pro at making a scene with whoever her current boyfriend is in the middle of a public place? I mean, I get it that she's upset about EJ going through her phone — who wouldn't be — but maybe - and this is just a friendly suggestion — she could try and discuss that in private, not start a shouting match within view of all their classmates. Just saying.

'Ricky would never steal my phone' — well, perhaps not, but he's not quite above deleting stuff from it, either... I wonder if whoever is writing this show knows that there are many other ways to make a relationship unhealthy... it's not funny anymore. Just repetitive.

Ahhh Natalie and her emotional support hamster! At least there's one good thing about this scene.

Sure, Ricky, blame Big Red for the fact that you misplace your stuff... a very nice best friend he's got, indeed.

Gosh, everything is so awkward and there is just so much tension all over the place — Ricky's parents, then EJ and Nini, and then Carlos just being oblivious to the fact that they just broke up... you know, that last part just made me laugh. And then Ricky's reaction to his parents legally separating just broke my heart. That boy's been through too much.

Big Red being completely clueless about theatre terms is super funny and endearing, but let me just put myself in his shoes for a sec. He's followed his best friend into a badly thought-out scheme to get back together with his ex, got dragged into joining the crew, and is now expected to know what everything is. I would not put up with that... ok, who are we kidding, I'm a massive pushover and would put up with anything, but my point is... he shouldn't have to. At least people are doing the bare minimum to help him learn and nobody's laughed at him for not knowing. That's the good thing about this crew.

Ok, so I have posted about my thoughts of their take on What I've Been Looking For before, back when the episode was brand new, so I won't go into detail about that. In short, I think they've got the arrangement all wrong considering that it is a plot point in the original movie, but... the execution is funny. The scene is about Nini and EJ's post-breakup tension and it shows. I just kind of wish now Miss Jenn had pulled Nini out and put Gina in, even just for this rehearsal — and I might or might not be saying this as a Portwell shipper.

Miss Jenn is done with the students' personal drama and honestly, I'm right behind her. These kids are being completely unprofessional — and well, I realise that we can't expect them to be professional at this stage, but... they could at least try to concentrate on rehearsal and not their personal lives for a second.

Ricky hugging a cushion is my spirit animal. That's it, that's the comment.

Ahhh the tension between EJ and Gina though... 'around here seniors don't follow sophomores' — well, we'll see how it goes, Mr. Senior.

What gives Nini the right to shout at strangers about their relationship? I am honestly so frustrated with her these days. Wonder why I never was during season 1. The reasons are all there.

'He loves you' — yeah, like a little sister, he does. Also, Ash is so precious, always trying to see the good in other people. EJ 1.0 is so lucky he had her as an example.

Ok, I'm not going to go into what an amazing best friend Big Red is because we all know that (plus I'm saving it for a certain scene in 1x5), but this must be so hard for him. I mean, he's trying his absolute best to help Ricky feel better and distract him from his problems, and Ricky is turning everything down. I mean, I guess I understand where he's coming from too, but I'm unable to look at things through the lead-centric lens alone anymore. I'm more aware of non-lead characters now (some more so than others) and this is putting a whole new spin on my perception of everything that happens.

I've got no idea how Big Red can sleep with all this noise, though. I could never. But to each their own.

'perfect on paper' — that's EJ 1.0 to a T. I've got to give Nini that.

Ricky wearing the pride t-shirt... we love to see it.

See, this is why I keep forgetting why I ever shipped Rini and then remembering again... their chemistry is just so on-again-off-again, and here it's definitely present, but I just need a couple with consistent chemistry, you know. Hey, isn't that kind of what All I Want is about? Kind of. I don't know. I've been unable to listen to that song ever since it got big irl. I have this... problem with media that becomes popular and mainstream... I mean, I never hold a grudge against things just for being popular, but I just... relate to underrated stuff much easier. Not because it's underrated, but it just so happens that nearly everything I like and relate to is underrated in some capacity. Even HSMTMTS itself — it's practically unheard of here in Bulgaria, so I would not have found it if I hadn't been looking for it specifically. Ok, this comment got derailed several times. I guess I'll just stop here and move right on to 1x5 at this point.

1x5: A bedazzled tablecloth, a perfectly balanced unicycle and bad reception at the barn... not the perfect ingredients, but they can still... Work This Out

'Miss Jenn says that's a life in the arts... well, that and almost constant unemployment' — alright, I know this line is not supposed to be funny, and that it's a painful reality for a lot of people, but... maybe it's the delivery. I just laugh every time.

See, this is what I mean when I say I want to see consistent chemistry — Seblos have it. I mean, I really don't want to jinx things, but... they do.

Big Red seems to be in a more... outspoken mood today, I guess you could say. Too bad Ricky is still shutting everything he says down. Seriously, Big Red and Seb should start a club for people who try their best to be there for their loved ones and still keep being shushed.

I might be super frustrated with nearly everything Nini says and does (can somebody please tell me why that is?), but... flushing her dress down the toilet? Major mood.

Listen, I love Miss Jenn and that she's close to her students, but... emerging from a toilet cubicle and inviting herself to Kourtney and Nini's girls' night was... Will Shuester level of questionable.

Ricky being the mature one about his parents separation is... I mean, it's admirable, but how did he move past the impending depression of last episode and towards being the one who tells his dad to get up and move on? Well, I mean, good for him. But I think the issue is far from buried yet.

'Friend of the year'? Ricky? I don't think so. First of all, if he were, he'd know that Big Red does not have two left feet. Wasn't it you, Ricky, who was stumbling over the steps in HSM a couple of weeks ago? You're one to talk. Plus Big Red's been listening and trying to help while you've just been spouting off about your personal problems for... how long has it been now? I get it, Ricky has issues that he needs to work through, but he's almost legally blind in both eyes when it comes to Big Red.

Ok, but Ricky is the epitome of 'cannot solve his own problems but has a suggestion on how everybody else should solve theirs' in this episode. Maybe take a step back and listen to your own advice?

'My parents think I'm bonding with the livestock' — I've got no idea why I find this line so funny, but I do. And I've got so much love for this entire scene. Carlos' reaction to Seb's response to his invitation is just... the most adorable thing ever! My heart might just burst. Especially given what we're about to go through tomorrow in 2x10... I am. Not. Ready.

The entire karaoke scene just reminds me of... pretty much every extended family reunion on my mum's side. Her cousins love karaoke and are also completely tone-deaf. I love it that they're able to have fun with it, but my ears are still recovering from my great aunt's birthday party two years ago.

'When did you become Nini?' — Why does Mr. Mazzara know so much about his students' dating lives? I mean, Miss Jenn does, too, but he doesn't strike me as someone as invested in them as her. Idk, it just struck me as kind of weird.

'I didn't agree to photos' — please, EJ, I'm sure you'll want memories from your first fake-dating gig with Gina... once you're no longer fake-dating, you know. Boy, these two are going to have stories to tell to their grandchildren.

I've said some stuff about Nini, but... 'a bedazzled tablecloth' is the funniest description I've heard for Gina's homecoming dress.

'Maybe it's not actually about you at all.' Yeah, you tell him, Reddy! Ricky needs to get over himself.

The way Big Red sniffs out the drama, though... I was not-so-randomly reminded of that moment in 2x9 where Seb was like Carlos. and Big Red was like, 'Are you guys fighting?'...

Big Red doing a comedic lip-reading of Gina and EJ's dramatic scene is absolutely hilarious. I might or might not have sold my heart and soul to him after seeing that scene for the first time. But I just remembered how he said earlier that maybe he can't read lips and that just makes this 100% funnier — he was basically like a child who can't read yet making up a story based on the pictures in a book, and I mean it in the best way possible. He's a theatre dark horse, this one, and they should all be intimidated — or inspired, whatever they choose — by his hidden talents. Gosh, I love this guy. But can you blame me?

'You think I'm actually going to confide in you?' — Absolutely. You can't bully someone from your position of authority over them and then act like you're their friend. I do know now that Mr. Mazzara has hidden depths, but he had no right to be as rude to Carlos as he was in 1x3. He was right about one thing, though — Carlos doesn't need a dance partner to dance.

Ricky saying he was going to apologise to Gina and counting that as an apology is giving me major TJ/ Buffy flashbacks. I wonder why that is... * sarcasm *

Nini feeling like a fraud makes me actually sympathise with her for a second. But I feel like Nini's flaw of defining herself through boys and Ricky in particular has been addressed one time too many now, since it was first addressed here in this episode. If they make her and Ricky get back together again in season 2, I will riot. [side note: I feel like the Born to Be Brave scene says a lot about both Rini and Seblos as couples. Nini and Carlos both feel, in the moments leading up to the song, like they are incomplete without their partners. Ricky, too, has built his personality entirely around Nini at that time (and is still not completely over that in s2). And then the song comes in to remind them that they don't need a partner to be happy. I'm just thinking of Big Red's 'perfectly balanced unicycle' comment from the promotional materials, and of how he and Ashlyn, even when they're dating in s2, are never portrayed as being incomplete without each other. I guess there's a reason why they're the Beta Couple of the show — their relationship drama is nearly non-existent, and when it does exist, it's just caused by them caring too much about each other. Every other couple on the show should learn from them.]

Everybody supporting Carlos during the Born to Be Brave number just warms my heart so much... I am actually crying real tears. And then the end, when Seb finally shows up, right in time for the slow dance... I have a lot of feelings about this scene.

Seblos' dialogue here still kind of makes me cringe a little... but like, in a good way.

Yikes... Miss Jenn's getting into trouble... I mean, it was bound to happen sooner or later. But she's lucky she's had enough time with her students for them to love her enough to fight for her. Still, this is a topic for another episode, and so I won't expand on it in this post.

Well, that's it. That was 1x4 and 5. Those were pretty much my favourite episodes when season 1 was airing. And I can definitely see why, even if my views on some things have changed due to stuff that happens later. But, as I constantly say, that's what rewatches are for. In other words, 'once more, with feeling this time' as my choir director used to say.

[shadowhuntertrash]

High Notes

Chapter Twelve

characters belong to Cassandra Clare

song: i won't let go by rascal flatts

It didn’t take them long to get there. Thomas smiled widely at the sign before turning his excited expression to Alastair and hitting his arm lightly and he shifted restlessly in his seat. “I love the zoo.” He said and it came out a little breathless which made both of them laugh as Alastair bent over Thomas to grab something in the glove compartment.

"I know you do, Lucie told me a while ago.” Alastair answered easily. Thomas couldn’t help but wonder how long ago Lucie told him that and how he remembered. Alastair passed him a hat and sunglasses and Thomas threw him a grateful smile. “Thanks. I honestly hate going out in public sometimes.” He said with a laugh as he put the hat on, which didn’t help conceal much but anything was better than nothing.

He slid the sunglasses on and wiggled his eyebrows at Alastair who laughed and put his own on. Thomas hesitated before getting out of the car cursing his height quietly because if he was being honest it was a dead giveaway.

Thomas didn’t realize he had spoken loud enough for Alastair to hear but after a moment Alastair had his door open and was standing in front of him with a silly grin on his face. “I love your height. It compliments mine, plus you’re the perfect height to hug and I love it.” Thomas laughed and his automatic response was to hug him tightly but he held himself back, the effort left his stomach hurting.

Alastair gave him a knowing smile that was soft around the edges before stepping back so Thomas could get out of the car. Thomas stretched as he got out and reveled in the way Alastair’s eyes immediately went to the strip of skin that was showing. He smirked, glad he wasn’t the only one who did that.

The zoo was relatively busy but Thomas had seen worse. A teenager was working the front desk, maybe three or four years younger than them, a safari hat on her head which contrasted drastically with the unimpressed look on her face. 

“Welcome to the zoo,” The girl said, her voice monotone. She looked as if she didn’t want to be there at all. She looked up from her nails and took a double-take when she saw the men standing in front of her, her mouth falling open slightly as she straightened hastily. “I-I, I mean you’re-” She cut off again as if she simply couldn’t imagine they were there. 

Alastair laughed and smiled at her charmingly as Thomas did the same. “What’s your name?” Thomas asked kindly, her hazel eyes turned to him, her pupils widening slightly. “M-Maribelle.” She said, her voice quiet and full of a sort of wonder that made Thomas happy and uncomfortable at the same time.

“Well, Maribelle, may we have two tickets? And if you don’t mind, if anyone asks about us just say you didn’t see us.” Alastair said with a wink but Thomas could see the tension in the way his shoulders were set. Thomas wanted to reach out to him but kept his hands at his sides and flashed Maribelle the most convincing smile he could muster under the circumstances.

Maribelle hurriedly pulled out three tickets and all but shoved them into Alastair’s hands. “Can you sign the third ticket?” She said, her voice still sounded dazed and excited. Alastair laughed quietly and nodded as he signed his name passing the small paper to Thomas who shook his head and laughed suddenly self-conscious. After all, she hadn’t asked for his she’d asked for Alastair’s which made sense because everyone liked Alastair and there weren’t many people who liked Thomas. 

Alastair gave him an odd look, the beginning of a frown dancing around his lips. He looked like he was about to say something when Maribelle cut in with a dreamy sigh. “Oh please? I would love to have yours too.” Thomas smoothed his face in an attempt to hide his shock and smiled pleasantly. 

“Alright.” He said softly before signing his name quickly. He handed the spare ticket back to Maribelle with a smile. “Thank you very much.” He said and Alastair nodded along. Maribelle smiled widely and nodded a little too fast. “Of course, thank you so much for signing this.” She said excitedly as she waved the ticket around before stuffing it in her pocket. Thomas and Alastair laughed and waved as they headed inside. 

Thomas had always loved the zoo because there was something about the smell and the atmosphere that brought back memories of going to the zoo with his family. They hadn’t been in quite a long time but Thomas couldn’t help the wave of peacefulness that washed over him when they stepped up to the large map that told them where all the animals were.

“Where are we going first?” Alastair asked his eyes falling on Thomas with an excited smile. Thomas looked over the map and his eyes fell on the giraffes. “Come on, come on, come on.” Thomas mumbled dragging Alastair by the wrist to the giraffes.

Alastair laughed and let himself be dragged. They stopped when they finally got to the large animals. Thomas had his head tilted back as he smiled widely at the animals. He’d always loved giraffes, he didn’t know why but he absolutely adored them. He turned to Alastair and started talking before he could think better of it. 

“Did you know giraffes are the tallest mammals on earth? Their legs alone are taller than most people, isn’t that weird? They can move as fast as thirty miles per hour but they make it seem so smooth, it’s insane.” Thomas couldn’t keep the wonder out of his voice. “Have you ever seen giraffes drink water from the ground?” He turned to Alastair with a laugh. “Their necks are too long to reach the ground and so they have to do this awkward leg bend thing to reach the ground.”

Thomas opened his mouth to say more but Alastair was looking at him with a small smile that made him instantly realize he was rambling. He blushed a deep red and looked away. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to rant.” He said determined to keep quiet because this was the first date and  Thomas had to go on and rant about giraffes out of everything.

Alastair’s eyebrows furrowed and he shook his head quickly. “No, no you’re totally fine. It was cute, I didn’t realize you knew so much about giraffes.” Thomas blushed again and let out an awkward laugh.

Alastair frowned. “Thomas, I really don’t mind. I like when you ramble, your face lights up and you get this smile that’s so open.” Alastair’s cheeks darkened and Thomas couldn’t hold back the smile that broke through at Alastair’s words. “I like it.” He finished lamely. Thomas laughed quietly and smiled tentatively at him.

They went to the lions next and laughed at the lioness who was trying to hunt the zebras in the exhibit next to her. Kids were squealing all over the place as she attacked the glass the large wall that separated her from the zebra.

Alastair picked a few more spots and they had seen five exhibits by the time Thomas turned around to see a group of about five teenaged girls walking over to them.

Damn.

He put on a rather forced smile and waved. The girl’s whispers turned to squeals and they came up closer to Alastair and Thomas. “Hello.” Alastair said and Thomas had to admit he seemed a lot more sincere in his excitement to meet fans. 

Thomas had always felt bad about the fact that he wasn’t as open or excited to see fans. He was forever grateful to all of them because he wouldn’t be who he was now without their love and support but every time he met one he couldn’t help the doubt and anxiety that crept in. 

Alastair moved towards the girls and Thomas followed him like a lost puppy, an awkward mix of trying to hide behind Alastair and being cursed with giant genes that didn’t let him hide behind anything.

The girls asked for a quick picture which lead to pulling the attention of a few onlookers who also asked for pictures. Suddenly there were way too many people here.

Thomas could feel his stomach begin to drop and his hands get clammy. His smile was starting to fall and everyone was standing a little too close. Thomas cursed silently and looked over to find Alastair but felt another shock of anxiety spike through him when he realized he wasn’t anywhere in sight. His body was shaking and he couldn’t breathe properly. 

No, no, no, no. Not here.

Thomas wasn’t aware of much other than the distinct lack of Alastair. He was spinning around trying to find him but his vision was blurry and there wasn’t much he could do to fight the dimming of his sight.

People were trying to talk to him but their words didn’t make sense. Why were there so many people?

Suddenly there was a hand on his shoulder and someone’s face was too close. He stumbled backward, too aware of the awkward way he was walking and everyone’s eyes on him but unable to do anything.

There was another hand on his shoulder and he flinched away from it. Tears were falling down his face and he was mortally embarrassed which only made everything so much worse.

“Hey, Thomas, hey. Listen to my voice, you’re okay. It’s just me. It’s Alastair. You’re okay.” Thomas’s mind didn’t register anything he said other than Alastair. 

Alastair, Alastair, Alastair. 

“Thomas, I have to touch you for a minute but I’ll stop soon, okay? I promise.” Thomas tensed when a light weight landed on the small of his back. Alastair was taking him somewhere but he was too far gone to care where or what was happening.

After an undetermined amount of time, Thomas was being lowered to the ground and Alastair’s face was in front of him. “Hey, Thomas you have to slow your breathing.” Alastair was talking calmly but Thomas could see the panic in his eyes.

Thomas felt laughter bubble up in his chest and he laughed harshly. He probably sounded insane but he couldn’t stop. His tears were choking the laughter but he couldn’t stop. Alastair looked alarmed and he made a move to reach out to Thomas before remembering himself and pulling his hands back.

A whimper slipped out of Thomas’s mouth as he reached blindly for Alastair who gripped his hands tightly. “Okay, Thomas. We’re gonna breathe, in and out.” Alastair exaggerated his breathing for Thomas and brought Thomas’s hand up to his chest. 

Thomas tried to follow his movements but after what felt like hours with nothing getting better he sobbed harder and gripped Alastair’s shirt loosely. “I can’t- I can’t breathe.” Alastair made a distressed noise and pulled Thomas fully into his arms. 

Thomas curled into him slightly when the initial shock of someone holding him wore off. Thomas wrapped his arms around Alastair’s waist and rested his forehead against Alastair’s neck. Alastair ran his hands through Thomas’s hair.

“You’re okay, sweetheart.” He said softly, kissing Thomas’s head softly. Thomas made a small sound and relaxed slightly into Alastair who had started singing softly. Thomas couldn’t exactly explain why Alastair calling him ‘sweetheart’ made him feel so calm but it was oddly reassuring.

Alastair starting singing words softly as he continued to run his fingers through Thomas’s hair.

It's like a storm

That cuts a path

It breaks your will

It feels like that

You think you're lost

But you’re not lost on your own

You're not alone

Thomas could feel his breaths evening out and his heart that had been racing was now slowing down to an almost normal speed.

I will stand by you

I will help you through

When you've done all you can do

If you can't cope

I will dry your eyes

I will fight your fight

I will hold you tight

And I won't let go

Thomas almost laughed at how emotional this song was making him. His eyes were burning and this time it wasn’t from lack of oxygen.

It hurts my heart

To see you cry

I know it's dark

This part of life

Oh it finds us all (finds us all)

And we're too small

To stop the rain

Oh but when it rains

I will stand by you

I will help you through

When you've done all you can do

And you can't cope

I will dry your eyes

I will fight your fight

I will hold you tight

And I won't let you fall

Thomas found Alastair’s hand and held it tightly as he buried his face in Alastair’s neck. The after-effects of the panic attack were making him tired and his head felt weird but he just relaxed further into Alastair’s arms when he felt the hold on him tighten.

Don't be afraid to fall

I'm right here to catch you

I won't let you down

It won't get you down

You're gonna make it

Yeah I know you can make it

'Cause I will stand by you

I will help you through

When you've done all you can do

And you can't cope

And I will dry your eyes

I will fight your fight

I will hold you tight

And I won't let go

Oh I'm gonna hold you

And I won't let go

Won't let you go

No, I won't

When Alastair stopped singing it was silent for a few minutes until Alastair’s hands stilled in his hair and he felt Alastair’s head drop to his. “You okay?” He asked quietly. Thomas couldn’t find his voice quite yet so he just nodded.

Thomas was mortified because not only had he just had another panic attack in front of Alastair but he had ruined their first date with it. Their date. The zoo.

The zoo.

He jerked away and looked around wildly trying to decipher where they were and if there were people. He felt a light weight on his chin and let Alastair guide his gaze back to him. “You’re okay, we’re in a bathroom but it’s closed so there’s no one here. It’s just us. You’re okay, love.” Thomas found himself nodding because even when he was panicking he trusted Alastair. 

Alastair held his eyes for a few moments before he sighed and pulled Thomas back in for another hug. “You scared me.” He said quietly. Thomas flinched slightly and closed his eyes tightly.

He felt awful for scaring Alastair, he hadn’t meant to. This time it was Thomas who ran his fingers through Alastair’s hair. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mea-” He was cut off by Alastair leaning back with a frown. 

“God no, that’s not- Don’t apologize. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I just meant that was worse than usual.” Thomas looked away from Alastair, a sick feeling in his gut.

Worse than usual. Than usual.

He felt weak. Like he wasn’t in control when that’s the only thing he wanted. He needed to have control of certain situations but here he was unable to control himself. He hated how this could happen at any minute. How he could be so happy one minute, and the next he felt like he was dying. 

He felt shame wash over him. He was weak. He was weak and he didn’t deserve Alastair nor did Alastair deserve to have to put up with his constant anxiety. 

Shit, shit, shit.

Thomas was yanked out of his spiral of self-depreciation when he felt warm lips on his. Alastair kissed like he did everything, gracefully and with care. Thomas brought his hand up to cup Alastair’s cheek as he deepened the kiss. He had no doubt that Alastair had kissed him to bring him out of his head and he appreciated it more than he would ever know. 

Alastair’s hands were in his hair, pulling lightly as his tongue collided with Thomas’s. It was rougher than their other kisses but Thomas found he didn’t mind it all that much. When they finally pulled back, both panting lightly with their foreheads pressed together Thomas smiled at him.

Alastair smiled back, his hands were still woven into Thomas’s hair. “Be my boyfriend?” Thomas couldn’t help the laugh that escaped but quickly cut it off when a flicker of uncertainty crossed Alastair’s face. 

“I would love to but are you sure?” Thomas asked quietly, his eyes falling shut so he didn’t have to look at Alastair who made a confused sound and lifted a hand to Thomas’s face. “I just mean- didn’t I ruin the date? We were only here for thirty minutes and then I had a panic attack and ruined everything. Are you sure you want to go out with me?”

It was silent for a minute and Thomas felt a jolt of fear go through him at the thought of Alastair changing his mind even though he had been the one to point out why he shouldn’t. Thomas couldn’t blame him if he did change his mind.

Eventually, Alastair pulled away and started talking. “Thomas, look at me.” He reluctantly opened his eyes again to see a fierce look on Alastair’s face. “First and foremost, I very much want to be your boyfriend. These panic attacks are a part of you and that’s okay. I’m not going to leave just because you have anxiety, Thomas. It was my fault anyway, I should have picked somewhere with fewer people. I set it off, I’m sorry.”

Thomas stared at him for a long time before shaking his head with a goofy smile. “Alastair Carstairs you sure are one of a kind. That was not your fault, there were just too many people. How would you know that would set me off, cariño?"

“Oh, that slipped out. Just-just ignore that.” Alastair made a tsk sound and shook his head. “Oh, no no. What does it mean?” Thomas blushed and brought his hands up to cover his face. “Kind of- well like the Spanish version of dear?” Thomas said awkwardly. Alastair raised his eyebrow with an amused quirk of his lip. “Is that a question or an answer?” Thomas blushed further but his laugh contradicted his embarrassment.

A smile crept up on Alastair’s face, one Thomas had never seen before. It could only be described as soft. “What did you just call me?” Thomas’s eyebrows came together as he thought, not really remembering. “Umm, Alastair?” He laughed and shook his head before attempting in a terrible Spanish accent, "Cariño?" Thomas blushed and laughed nervously.

Alastair stood up and stretched before reaching a hand down to Thomas. Alastair didn’t let go of his hand when he stood up like Thomas thought, instead he used it to bring Thomas closer to him. Alastair rested his head on his chest and Thomas smiled contently as he brought his hands up to run his fingers through the dark boy's hair.

Alastair pulled away from him with a devious smile. “Boyfriends then?” Thomas rolled his eyes but he was hit with a feeling so big that it almost hurt. It took him a minute to recognize it but when he did he tightened his hold on Alastair, Alastair Carstairs, his boyfriend. He could definitely get used to that.

Thomas used his finger to tip Alastair’s head up. “Boyfriends.” He said quietly.

They were both smiling when their lips met.

tag list: @lifewouldbebetteronmars @littlx-songbxrd (please let me know if you want to be added to the tag list for new chapters <3)

[hawkland]

Destiel fic recs (round #4) + commentary

Time for another (mostly) Destiel fic rec round-up post before my bookmarks get out of control! This one’s a mix of longer and some shorter fics (or series thereof), no particular theme except I guess a lot of angst, hurting Cas, and all the other things that tickle my Id. Several Season 9 human!Cas divergence fics, plus some later season angst-fests and rewrites.

In the Shadow of your Wings by Enochian Things (Salr323) (52k) The first of two fics by this author which I absolutely fell in love with! Canon-divergence from the end of Season 11. Cas finds himself blasted to Naples, Italy by the banishing sigil in the bunker and he stumbles — almost literally — into a sexy, delightful Italian Man of Letters, Luca. When he makes his way back to the bunker and finds Dean still alive, he tries to confess his feelings but Dean panics and shuts him down. Cas goes back in Italy soon thereafter and ends up beginning a relationship with Luca, much to Dean’s chagrin. Meanwhile Sam is still missing and it turns out there may be some dangerous individuals who are out for Cas more so than even the Winchesters. 

I loved everything about this fic so much - Luca is an amazing OC, the Naples and London locations are wonderfully evoked and took me straight back to places I’d been. The angst, the pacing, the plotting and the eventual Dean/Cas getting together are all amazing and this is definitely on my re-read in the future list.

The rest of my recs below the cut!

My heart is beating from me by Enochian Things (Salr323) (55k) The other fic by this author that I literally inhaled in one day! Season 9 Human!Cas canon divergence. It’s been months since Sam and Dean have heard from Cas, and when they do, it’s in the form of a wedding invitation. Cas is getting married to Daphne - the woman who “rescued” him and named him Emmanuel when he’d lost all his memories post-Leviathans. It seems Cas went back to her while on his own and they’ve rekindled their relationship...whatever it is. Dean just knows something isn’t right about her, so he sets out to investigate and try to figure out WTF Cas is doing before it’s too late. 

This story is so, so good! The case Dean gets Cas to come along on is unique and provides a neat investigation subplot, but what’s so especially wonderful is the explanation the author gives of who Daphne really is — and why she’d been so cool about just having a strange man with no memories move in to be her “husband” (and then want to marry him for real a couple years later, after he’d vanished from her life!) In fact it’s so brilliant I’m basically accepting it as my Daphne headcanon from now on and I don’t want to spoil it. The fic is also great in exploring Cas still struggling with understanding human emotions, customs and etiquette, Sam is A Very Good Friend, and Dean is, well, Dean. (I’m just sad this author hasn’t written more SPN fics because what they have is just brilliant.)

The wilderness. by orange_crushed (8k) Wonderful, shorter Season 9 canon divergence fic by an author who consistently makes me happy. Human!Cas leaves the bunker with a few things to get off the ground from Dean and directions to connect with Garth...but he ditches that plan to try to find his way on his own. It’s wonderfully detailed about the basic struggles of survival, finding work, making ends meet and trying to make some new friends...and why it’s important for him to prove he can make it on his own before he’s willing to welcome Dean (back) into his life.

I Through My Window See by deHavilland (26k) This is an interesting one, written well before we had canon human!Cas in Season 9. Canon-divergence in which Cas remains human after they avert the apocalypse in Season 5. Sam and Dean set him up in an apartment in Sioux Falls and then...just kind of abandon him there. He spends most of a year just barely existing before a visit from Sam finally stirs him out of his inertia and depression, to eventually get a job and also start hunting on his own. This is an interesting read, if just to see an author exploring the idea of human!Cas abandoned by Dean a few years before it actually...ended up becoming canon! I love how Cas is written in this (it’s a story much like the next one on my list that I thought does an amazing, realistic job of capturing what depression feels like), but I do have some issues with Dean. It’s never fully resolved or explained why Dean was being such an ass so I honestly wasn’t totally sold on the ending - I wanted some more out of Dean, some more explanation or apology or something. It’s a story that would have been great to have a sequel from Dean’s POV but after all this time, that will just have to exist in my brain, I suppose! Still worth a read because it’s excellently written, Cas becomes totally bad ass again by the end and it’s always fun to read early SPN fic speculating on future developments.

I Shall Not Want by domesticadventures (20k) I found myself inhaling a bunch of wonderful short ficlets by this author the other day, but this is the one I had to stop at to rec. It’s another Season 9 divergence fic, of a sort - Cas is newly human, for the sake of the story there’s no Abbadon to worry about, Sam is healed...and Sam wants to move out and get on with his own life. Cas and Dean are both struggling with adapting to their new lives and it’s a hauntingly rich and stark portrayal of depression, inertia, and the slow healing process of accepting and adapting to change. I also liked that this story gives us a Dean who is a little more aware of his feelings for Cas and they both struggle to reach out to each other - for once it’s not sexuality causing a crisis of identity but all the other shit they are coping with.

Don't Sing Love Songs by ireallydidthistomyself (17k). I’m not normally a big fan of baby/toddler!Jack fics - I like the angst that he was forced to grow up too quickly, and in general I’m not big on kid!fic in fandom. This author’s work is a big exception to that. They’ve written several stories along a similar theme: Cas raising Jack on his own/in secret for years, Dean only finding them or coming back into their lives later on. But this is the version of that idea that really packed the most punch for me and was incredibly emotionally satisfying. Dean finds Cas after 6 years, where he’s kept Jack mostly isolated and safe from the world. But with Dean allowed back into his life, Cas may be inviting grave danger upon Jack as well. This one ripped my heart out but managed to make it all better by the end.

Better Ways to Kill Our Time by always_a_birthday_girl (8k) I don’t know why I torture myself reading Dean-in-the-Ma’lak-box AUs, but I do. I think because it’s pretty much my biggest nightmare/horror and for some reason it’s cathartic while terrifying? Anyway here’s one where Dean goes through with his plan, Cas crashes and burns for most of a year, until Dean finally starts doing what he promised he wouldn’t: praying to him. Cas figures out a way to communicate back and over the distance, they manage to have certain conversations they should have years before. It’s painful but lovely and there is a happy ending, so it’s well worth the read!

Time Flows Like Water and We're Drowning by triedunture (7.9k) A little break from the later-seasons stuff I (mostly?) read, featuring a seriously hot (but angsty) Cas/Endverse!Cas/Dean threesome. When Zacariah’s plan to show Dean the future doesn’t change his mind about taking on his “responsibility”, he sends Endverse!Cas back in time to try to convince Cas instead, showing him what he’s to become. I don’t think Zac expected it to turn into a threesome, but it’s hot and beautiful and sad and wonderful all at once. 

hachikireru by vaudelin  (23k) At one point I went on a wallow-fest of reading a bunch of sad 14x20-15x03 divorce-arc fics. Just to hurt myself more, I guess. I know this fic’s been recced around a lot (at least on fail_fandomanon) and I can see why! After leaving the bunker, Cas ends up in Sioux Falls to visit Claire. She’s busy tracking down leads to find Kaia’s killer and he decides to go along with her on one such hunt. But what they find is an unexpected supernatural threat targeting those with broken hearts. Well. I think you know where that might be leading. This is a wonderful casefic with lots of character moments between Cas & Claire and then Cas & Dean, working through their pain and angst and just...it’s a very satisfying read.

Moriah Codas: A Trilogy by Toomanyfandoms99 (11k total) A series of 3 shorter fics spinning off the events of 14x20, developing a slightly divergent universe the author’s written where Cas does have his wings back and has helped resurrect a few of the angels (Balthazar, Gabriel, and Samandriel in particular). This series is absolutely heartbreaking — Cas is completely broken by Jack’s loss, has “fallen out of love” with Dean after he was ready to kill Jack, and sees no way back to what he’d had and felt before. He’s determined to just let the Empty take him...but not until he and his assembled squad of “avenging angels” clean up the mess Chuck has created, smiting zombies and taking out super-powered monsters across North America. 

Cas’s motorcycle gang/angel squad is so fucking awesome (I want a happy fic where they do this!) and this is BAMF!Cas at his finest. I just have to include a quote:

He set down the empty glass, and Gabriel said, “well, dearly beloved, we have gathered here today to kick some zombie ass. Since they have chosen to amass in Carthage, we are here to take out as many as we can without causing this town to flip the fuck out. Are we in agreement?”

“I expect,” Balthazar grinned, “a full-on bar brawl. Do not disappoint me.”

“Cassie, Driel,” Gabriel addressed the duo, “how are we with weapons?”

“I have enough machetes in a storage facility uptown to film a Jackie Chan movie,” Castiel said.

But it’s also utterly and completely heartbreaking, so don’t read this one if you need a happy ending. If you do read, check out the author’s other later-season coda fics and fic series as they are all really great.

to mend what is not broken by gothyringwald (2.6k) This last short one I’ve mentioned before, but I just have to rec it again! It was my gift for the 2021 Hurt Comfort Gift Exchange and it’s everything I wanted, and more. Sweet and caring Dean, wounded but still prideful Cas, and some lovely wing!kink/wing!care that pushes all of my button just right.

Anyway, that’s it for now as I think this is long enough. If you enjoy my recs, could you let me know? I try to not just list titles but give some commentary...as it helps me re-find stories I enjoyed the most, too!

[darkpoisonouslove]

Sparks of Life Opera Edition

I am still not over Singing a New Tune so I am going to recap for you the experience of writing that fic because there were many interesting moments over the course of those three days. Lemme start from the beginning.

- So I’m writing a fic that mostly focuses on sexual stuff but it is also mainly happening in an opera so my first order of business is to figure out what that opera is. Both the building itself and the show they’ll be watching. Because that is of utmost importance.

- I have already mentioned that SoL is located in New York so I looked up New York operas. I do not vibe with research most of the time but I vibe even less with having to come up with names for any kind of thing so research was definitely the choice here.

- I somehow get results about operas that are in the other end of the USA. That was not great. I get to the Metropolitan Opera House at last (which I might have known existed if I cared about opera in any way, shape or form) which is great! I am so close to starting the fic! Just need to figure out what opera they’re watching. Because I need that for reasons.

- I end up downloading a PDF with the seatings inside the Met Opera so that I can figure out where the hell they will be seating. But I leave that for later. I look through the actual plays that they’re having while absolutely failing with the navigation of their site. I find a show that catches my eye. It’s called The Magic Flute. I have zero idea what it’s about so I read the Wikipedia summary just to be aware. It mentions that a character has a moment when he’s singing about his search for a wife and I think “Perfect! Foreshadowing!” (since this is set pretty early on in Griffin and Valtor’s relationship).

- I decide to look up the opera and see if I can find a part of it on youtube to figure out how it will sound. I am pretty sold on it already because of the summary I read and also because it implies there is magic as a subject in it which would call back to canon. Still, I look it up. I find a full version of it on the internet with English subtitles... It is 2 hours and 35 minutes:

- “Wow, okay... that’s a bit much. But hey, it has got subtitles in English. Maybe I’d actually watch that... once I’m done with the fic. I’m just gonna listen to a little bit while I finish my research, though, so I can have an idea of what it sounds like.”

- Now it’s time to open the engagement fic - Enough to Be Yours - because I don’t remember what year they got engaged in and I need that to reverse engineer the year in which this fic is taking place so that I can make sure that The Magic Flute was being performed back then. I don’t have an year stated in the engagement fic, though. I have a date - 9th October which is Friday and that means the year is 2015. Great! So I need to figure out if they were performing The Magic Flute back in 2010. Great.

- That takes a shit ton of time and nerves as it turns out. I spent over 4 hours just researching the logistics for this fic and a lot of that was unnecessary but I’m getting ahead of myself.

- I cannot find out whether they were performing the Magic Flute in 2010. I get results of it being broadcast in English (for the first time, I believe) in 2012 but that is way too late for this fic to be happening. Also, they are speaking of a broadcast which just doesn’t work for me. So I am having a hard time over here.

- I find a list of the new titles in 2011 but nothing mentions The Magic Flute as far as I can see.

- I am now considering switching to another opera. I see an opera that is based on events from The Song of the Nibelungs (I cannot be assed to go back and check what the actual title was). That catches my eye because I have read a book that was titled The Ring of the Nibelungs, I believe, and I kinda remember stuff from it... which is what makes me hesitate because that was a big tragedy.

- Meanwhile, I have stumbled upon a trailer for The Magic Flute:

MY GOD IS THAT BEAUTIFUL! THOSE PROPS ARE FUCKING GORGEOUS! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN THAT YOU GET TO GO AND SEE THAT LIVE? THAT IS NUTS! (Also, when I mentioned paper birds (I think they are) in the fic, I meant the ones shown in 0:13, not the big one in the beginning but HOLY SHIT, DID YOU SEE THAT THING????? HOW IS THAT REAL?!?!?!?! IT IS SO FUCKING AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN’T. I AM DYING. THIS IS JUST TOO BEAUTIFUL.)

- I somehow happen upon an old archive of the opera (idk how I did that but I bookmarked it in case I’ll need it again) that has information about plays going back as far as the year 1900. This is nuts! I am in too deep but I can’t pull myself away. I’ve gotten this far, I will see it through.

- I search for keyword “flute” and I get results. Some of them are pretty old but I finally find what I need. Performances of the Magic Flute in 2010! Bingo!

-  ...Oh, wait, they’re all around Christmas and New Year’s Eve. Hmm... when will it be okay for them to go? I mean, Valtor has been established to have zero free time around that time of the year and I can’t see them going on the 24th or the 31st... Oh, those are matinees. Definitely no! I need them to go in the evening. And some of these are broadcasts which doesn’t work for me either.

- I looked up earlier years as well. I considered another opera again. I decided to switch up the timeline a little. It makes sense if it’s in 2009. I think they had spring performances of The Magic Flute then. Or was it 2008? Anyway, I finally settle on an early April date in 2009 (I think). Now that that’s settled, let’s go back to the seats.

- First I need to figure out what floor (let’s say) of the opera they’re on. I was thinking of the last one first (family circle) but the boxes (I figure those seats will be safest for their activities) look like this:

which isn’t vibing with me because they would be in the front row and it seems more visible. So I relocate to the previous floor (balcony) that looks like this:

That works a little better although there’s the danger of having more people in their box. But they’re sitting in box 14, seats 5 (Griffin) and 6 (Valtor) (where the arrow is pointing) and there’s only one man in seat 4 in front of them. So that is the best I can do.

- Wow, all that’s finally figured out. I decide to do all the rest of the research up front in order to be able to just write after that and not stop for another 4 hours. More on those other things later BUT I get to the part where I need to pick a vibrator and... well, I done fucked up.

- First thing that comes up for a remote controlled vibrator is Lush, of course. And I am immediately sold because it has a sound activated setting which Valtor will definitely love to utilize while in the opera.

BUT

Lush 2 (which is the first one to have the sound activated setting, I believe) came out in 2018. Even if we accept that Lush also has it, that came out in 2015. My fic is set in 2009. Searching for 2009 vibrators literally went no where so in the end I decided that the SoL verse is actually set in a parallel universe where time is a little warped so the Lush 2 is out in 2009. Plus, that way there isn’t going to be a pandemic in future installments. Overall, that works. Except that I needn’t have been so thorough with my opera research beforehand. Oh, well. It’s finally time to start writing.

- How do you write? How do you start a fic? One word in front of the other? Oh, okay, never mind. Lipstick is a girl’s best friend. Let’s start from there. And a kiss that leads to the discussion of lipstick... Damn, I forgot to spend one more hour on researching what kind of lipstick Griffin would have worn. Shame! You don’t get that detail now. I believe I didn’t even mention a shade.

- Oh, wait. Need for his breath to taste like something. Hmm, let’s see. Tonic water? Yeah, that sounds about right. Never mind that he should have probably drunk it right before getting out of the car to kiss her if it was still lingering on his breath. I mean, that’s not impossible. Just improbable.

- He’s also wearing cologne, right? Gotta research that too. How else would I get this:

and zero idea what it actually smells like despite the description. Also, did not check if that was a thing in 2009 but the story now exists in a vacuum so who cares.

- Apparently, Griffin doesn’t own any golden bracelets even though she does have a golden necklace? Or she could have a golden bracelet, just not one she likes for the current situation? Anyway, I wanted to mention Ediltrude as well because the twins always go together and that was the best I came up with. (That said, I didn’t need to put the mentions of them one sentence apart.)

- My god, I used a semicolon! That feels illegal. I sure hope I used that bitch correctly.

- Okay, I absolutely love all the banter and just flow in the car. Idk how I did that since it’s such a constricted space but I am really proud of it. However, the logistics were sometimes hard to logic my way through. I mean, Valtor doesn’t get to look at her a lot and I had to employ a red traffic light to give him the chance to do so.

- I hit a wall about three paragraphs later. Things started going in a weird direction. I was considering even deleting the last two lines but then I managed to get back on track thanks to having figured out how they met and I decided to write a little bit about that without spoiling it (that will be a fic of its own some day). Suffice it to say it was a meet-very-ugly. But it bailed me out. Also, they got over it so it’s all good.

- And now... that paragraph. You know which one I’m talking about. It stands out with the locations I’ve given. That paragraph required 30 minutes of looking at Google Earth to figure it out and I still nearly got it wrong. At that point it occurred to me that they’ll need a place to park. I mean, idk how parking is in NYC but it’s probably not the way it is in Bulgaria especially on small neighborhood streets where it’s just... park wherever (even in front of a garage if you’re brazen enough and don’t fear having your tires slashed). So first, I was going to have them coming down Tenth Avenue and passing by the backside of the Opera which is not ideal for me because I needed Griffin to figure out they’re going to the opera so that they can have the following dialogue. But there is the New York Public Library of the Performing Arts right next door so I figure Griffin will recognize the area if it’s next to a library. And I have them almost at the garage but... that’s not looking right. This garage is on 65th Street and mine is on 62nd... I have been looking at the wrong garage for the past hour. Now that I have caught that mistake, things get easier. They just drive right past the facade of the opera, take a right turn and then enter the garage. Easy peasy. For whoever’s actually paying attention to the map.

- They’re in the garage now and I have to write another kiss. Shoot! I do not vibe with writing kisses. Writing sex scenes is much easier. But I’ll try my best because this is a little bit necessary if we’re dealing with an insertion of a vibrator in a public bathroom one minute from now. (Again, logistics!) I actually went back to add in a little discomfort during the kiss (but not too much because they’re consumed with each other anyway and probably missed something) just to make it more realistic. They can’t be comfortable in the car. Also, you have got to love how I never even thought of what make the car is. But I did stop to research the tinting of the car windows.

- Now this is extremely funny but I would have had zero idea that there are different laws about how tinted your car windows can be in the USA if I hadn’t read a very extensive critique of Fifty Shades (whichever part it was that had that info). So I look up the VLT for New York and it says 70%. Great! Then it won’t be that visible through the windows what they’re doing inside. Oh, wait! VLT means Visible Light Transmission aka 70% of the light should be passing through the window. Aka it is only tinted on 30%. This much:

That’s practically nothing. You can see everything through it. Welp, then someone’s gonna see, I guess.

- Can’t believe I didn’t stop to look up clutches either. (Lmao, I was calling it a purse instead of a clutch at first even though I definitely meant a clutch. And then I remembered that clutch existed as a word. Who would’ve thought?) It’s baffling trying to figure out why my brain was prioritizing some details over others and I just genuinely have no idea what was going on.

- Griffin is blushing a lot in this. Can you tell I have no idea how else to convey Valtor giving her feelings through body language?

- I first envisioned the box being opened by the hair pin by turning it like a key. Only later did I realize that that wouldn’t be possible because the pin has two parts (whatever they’re called) and that would make turning it impossible unless all of the base fits into one hole in the lid of the box. So I had to adapt my vision to using the extensions at the ends of the hair pin like a hook that pulls the lid up once it’s clicked free. I have zero idea how that would be done but I’m sure it can be done. So yeah, anyway, the pin looks like this but with attachments at the ends to open the box:

- I might have gone a little overboard with Griffin’s reaction to having the vibrator inside her. I might have made her a bit too embarrassed but I still think that she simply wouldn’t appreciate someone knowing about what she considers a private experience (despite the very public setting).

- And I am being overly specific again with the seats but I worked for that information so you’re getting it against your will!

- Speaking of, that man in their box was pretty ignored throughout the fic. But then again Griffin wasn’t overflowing with lucidity. She is sure to have missed... A Lot, actually.

- My apologies (once again) to @her-majesty-wears-jeans​ for not letting Griffin punch Valtor in the face for the terrible pun he was about to make but I thought that that would ruin the mood so I had to skip it.

- I might have imagined things a little differently but then consent factored in and I had to change things up so that Griffin is clearly on board with everything. I hope it came through that way at least. She is on board even if she is very, very frustrated. She would never throw the bet just because it’s difficult for her. Though, I’m taking note for future fics of maybe being a little bit more explicit about the enjoyment of all parties involved. I just couldn’t really think of a way to convey it better back then and I am coming up with several ideas now and I will try to keep them in mind for future fics.

- I keep going back and forth on just how far into their relationship this is. Sometimes it feels like it’s not enough time for them to get this familiar with each other and sometimes it feels like too much for them to still be skirting their feelings for each other like that. Will update when I make up my mind about how long exactly it has been.

- In retrospect, probably should have picked up an opera that people would be less likely to bring their children to (as brought to my attention by @her-majesty-wears-jeans​). I apologize for this. Did not consider it at all.

- A wild tangent about Griffin’s sexual experiences before Valtor popped up (for the second time now). This is giving me thoughts and I am not even sure if I’ll manage to get them all out in the bachelorette party fic. Oh, no, I am getting ideas again.

- God, I had to mention those paper birds because I adore them. Also, needed to do a time skip somehow (sure hope they don’t show up at the very end or the very beginning).

- So there are some things about the whole thing with the suit jacket that if you squint, you’ll miss the very far-fetched and convoluted ways in which I could make them make sense but again, it isn’t impossible to make them operate according to logic so good enough.

- And now for the dress:

I thought it would be reasonable for Griffin to own something like that. It doesn’t look overly expensive or dramatic.

- I swear that most of the 2% angst was an accident. Griffin was supposed to say the “You paid how much for tickets exactly just so you could fool around?” line but the following few paragraphs sprang on me out of nowhere. That was where I left it off the first day I was working on it and I wasn’t sure how to continue it. Then the angst happened.

- I do not believe the retaliation part was planned but would it really be a Griffin x Valtor story if something like that hadn’t happened? XD

- “reverberated”, “multitudinous” and “unobtainable” are probably not words that Griffin’s muddled mind would go to in that precise moment but everything else I came up with for them just did not sound right.

- I completely forgot the word for neckline and was so mad at myself for that but, luckily, I managed to remember it before posting the fic. I believe the original read “he slipped a finger under the fabric of her dress, running it over the top of her breast” which is not incorrect but just not precise enough for my liking.

- Sure hope the shortened version of the opera did not cut out the ending musical sequence. But that seems unlikely.

- The idea was running overly long in my head by having them going back to the penthouse so that I could have the scene where he picked her up so I decided to move things around and have him carry her bridal style on their way from the opera to the car. It’s not like she didn’t earn it.

- Pretty sure I had planned something a little different for the last several lines of dialogue but I couldn’t remember what so we get this. Which isn’t a disadvantage. I mean, Griffin is already thinking of marrying him. XD (That’s probably a bit of a stretch at the current status of their relationship but then again, she was thinking of a wedding, not necessarily of their wedding even though I’m clearly a little romance gargoyle that meant exactly that.)

- Originally, Valtor was supposed to floor the brakes while they were out in the NYC traffic but then I decided that doing it while still in the garage with only one car behind them and both vehicles driving at a very slow speed was a lot safer so I switched to that. It also saved me writing more words which was appreciated. I thought this fic would be a bit shorter.

- I was at a loss for how many orgasms Griffin should want from him but then the commitment line happened and that was all avoided.