#plus a jealous carmy

[lunalivvy]

listen, LISTEN- i will forever be a sydcarmy truther, sydcarmy endgame is my main priority BUT.. sydluca do have me clutching my pearls a little i’m not gonna lie, im kind of all for it 😭😭

[etherealising]

poll courtesy of @anakinswh0re3005’s comment about wanting pure baby content, specifically her copenhagen adventures. thank you for the inspo lovie! 🩵

[chefkids]

I love your meta!!! It’s amazing that you’re still able to identify and connect new things that the rest of us overlooked. Do you have any predictions for next season? Not just with SydCarmy but also any thoughts about where the show may take us

Thank you!

I think a big focus of next season is going to be on their lives intertwining and their families coming together. Season 3 ended with Richie, Nat, Carmy, and Sydney all coming together to open the restaurant and including her in their core group like family. And like Ayo and everyone in the show has said, this is all about chosen family and real family. But I also think a lot of bad shit is going to happen, especially at the very start of the season.

After Carmy practically begging to meet Sydney's dad, I do think Emmanuel and Carmy will finally meet. I do not think he is going to like Carmy at the start. He is very sceptical of their whole arrangement, he knows Sydney quit for a minute and might have heard Sydney talk shit about him. And if he ever finds out what went down on opening night, I don't think he'll be too happy with Carmy. But I do think they will eventually bond and get to know each other, I think including that Sydney's dad was sober from alcohol is going to be a big conversation for them.

I think they were alluding for Natalie having some sort of complication maybe preeclampsia with her shoulder pain. I think she's going to give birth sooner rather than later. Natalie giving birth is going to bring Donna back and is what is going to get Carmy and his mother to finally see each other again after seemingly years apart.

I also think Donna and Sydney will meet. I think Natalie and Sydney are both going to try to get Carmy to at least try to give his mother a chance because they are both much more optimistic and forgiving people than him. I think it's going to cause a lot of tension between all of them because Carmy doesn't want Sydney seeing that side of his family.

Sydney's share/ownership of the restaurant comes back into question. I also think Carmy getting more credit/recognition than her in reviews or press will bother her. I think she will basically say that this place is not really hers. Someone tries to poach Sydney, Carmy freaks out. Sydney starts to consider if it is worth staying if another good opportunity comes along.

Marcus' mom is dead and gone. RIP to that lady. I think grief and how they all deal with it differently will be a big theme. Carmy ignored his grief for a long time and tried to use work to fix things. Sydney and her dad still keep her mom's memory alive but she still struggles with letting others know about her grief. I think Marcus will be letting others help him and be there for him and Sydney will be there for him. I think this will bring back things Carmy about his own grief and how he's still dealing with it.

Luca returns to fill in for him for a bit and emotional support for Marcus. Which I think will also bring us to see Competitive Carmy in full force as goes into Michelin Mode, for Syd's sake. No amusement or enjoyment. I also think this will kinda turn the crew against Carmy as they'll prefer Sydney, they kind of already do. Especially considering she was more involved in training them and in the build than he was. Plus she's just nicer than him.

Sydney will overwork herself and burn out, she won't trust Carmy on his own and will inevitably put a lot of pressure on herself. She's not going to want to quit or stop but Carmy and her Dad will be pressuring her to slow down because she's making herself sick. I think a large focus of Season 3 will be on their energy. In Season 1 it was all about the pressure of money, Season 2 about time pressure, and now they need to find the energy to keep going because they need to make back money in a set time frame. The focus on energy and their internal dynamics between them, rather than external issues like things in restaurant being broken.

Jealous Carmy. When he realizes Marcus likes Syd more than a friend, he's going to view everyone as competition and a threat, even though he's still to scared to do anything about it. I think Sydney will grow closer to Marcus and Richie and maybe even Luca or new guy Connor, not in any romantic way, but it is going to bother Carmy a lot that she never spends any time with him and that they know her outside of work but he doesn't.

Menu overhaul is inevitable, aside from Marcus dishes, most of the menu is not that remarkable and they really need to pull out new interesting ideas if they want a star. I'm sure we will see a lot more of Syd and Carmy actually testing recipes together. Carmy is just not as creative as Sydney when it comes to food, he struggled with the chaos menu. Mostly as Carmy's way to force proximity with Syd when she doesn't want to be around him.

I'm also still rooting for the return of the short rib risotto and the missing acid chaos ingredient. They have to bring it back.

Tina and/or Richie straight up comment on Sydcarmy. I think Tina knows and suspects a lot more than she lets on. She is very observant and protective over Sydney. She's overheard and seen a lot of what has been going down between them. She's going to put Carmy in his place and scare him a little on Sydney's behalf.

Richie on a similar note is going to put 2 and 2 together on what Carmy is feeling and basically tell him to stay away from Sydney because he doesn't want a Claire 2.0 to happen to her and he probably feels like Carmy does not even deserve Sydney in any way and he would just fuck things up for everyone at the restaurant.

Natalie finally says something to him and that's what finally gets him to do something and stop bottling everything in. She never commented on his relationship to anyone except Sydney, and that was more so to get her in the loop and protect her, because she knew Carmy was leading her on while seeing Claire and not telling her. She's going to subtly or not so subtly ask him wtf he is doing. I also think Jimmy fully thought Sydney was his girlfriend.

Fire Suppression System will tested for real with an actual fire. I have a lil theory that Sydney is going to be the one to accidentally start a fire next season. The fire suppression test was all a metaphor for Syd and Carmy suppressing their feelings and the spark/fire that they have. At the end of season 1 Carmy started a grease fire after Sydney quit, because he couldn't suppress his sadness and feelings for her. In season 2 they passed the fire suppression and Carmy decided to declare Claire his girlfriend. They managed to contain their feelings, but eventually they still came out with Carmy and his panic attack. But now I'm sure Sydney is going to be the one trying to suppress feelings because of how everything went down, and I think it will just blow up in her face literally and metaphorically. They spent so much time explaining the fire suppression system and the electrical wiring and the amperage of it all, that I think it's going to come into play again.

Carmy uses Sydney for emotional support without her realizing. When he texted her because he needed her comfort and forgiveness before opening Mikey's note, she didn't know that was what was happening. When he had panic attack and thought of her to calm down he used her for comfort, but she doesn't know all that. I think he's going to tell her or show her that she is his comfort person. I also think we will also see Sydney eventually reach for him for support and comfort as well.

Sydney's catering days and UPS flashback. Please I am begging. We need more of her lore. I think next season will be a lot of seeing her as more independent and being the boss, we only just started to see her at her peak performance in the last episode. I think we'll see more of her evolution, and also her flighty nature. She went from restaurant to restaurant. I think the idea of her leaving The Bear will hang around all season, but she won't leave.

Claire apology then goodbye within the same episode. Sorry to that girl. I think Carmy was already planning to breakup with her after he had the panic attack and the talk with Uncle Jimmy, which is why he freaked out when after he saw her at dinner. I don't think there would be much place for her unless they throw her into some hospital scenes with maybe Nat or Sydney being sick. I think her work here is done. I think she might make other appearances with the Faks. They are close family friends. Maybe she's friends with the elusive Francie Fak that everyone is dying to know what happened between her and Nat.

I think Richie will try to work elsewhere for a bit. He wants to prove that he doesn't need Carmy and that he can succeed without him. I think he'll come back when Sydney asks him to. The situation with him and Tiff feels very 50/50 to me. On the one hand I think it could be him learning to move on from his ex, on the other hand I think Chris and Joanna are all about second chances and I could see Tiff seeing Richie change and wanting to give things another chance.

I also think there's opportunity to see another city like we did with Copenhagen. I'm still rooting for Carmy to take Syd to Noma before it shuts down. I could also see a New York flashback episode with Carmy working at Eleven Madison and Sydney going on her NYC food tour and their whole invisible string coming together.

Not in this season, but The Bear Cookbook will happen. Trust.

And The Psychedelic Musical Episode. A girl can dream. But I do think we'll get another karaoke scene, maybe with the whole crew going out after a shift and just letting loose for once.

[sydcarmyfan]

Syd needs more people in her corner, so I’m glad she’ll have Marcus!

I am glad Marcus and Sydney will get closer in s3. From the trailer and how s2 ended, we know Carmy will not be in the best place to be the best friend/partner to Sydney. Sydney needs someone (outside Tina, Nat and her dad) to be there for her as The Bear (both Carmy and the restaurant) go through major changes. She needs someone in her corner, so Marcus being her friend, even best friend, is what Sydney needs, and when Marcus opens up and shares his feelings about his mother’s death, Sydney may be encouraged to tackle her own grief over her mother.

Also, jealous Carmy is what I need. I need to see Carmy’s face turn different colors when he sees Marcus make his girl laugh. Plus, didn’t some of you ask to see more platonic relationships between men and women on TV? Well, ask and you shall receive, said The Bear creators.

[yezzyyae]

@sula1956 this is a proud 35 yrs old black woman!!!! I’m not a troll & I have been in a real life love relationship with my boyfriend for the last 6 1/2 years! So I hope yall go outside & learn real love because Carmy & Sydney is not a romantic couple. They have NOTHING IN COMMON BUT FOOD! DID YALL DISMISS THE FACT THAT SYDNEY HAS NEVER OFFERED HER CONDOLENCES TO CARMY ONE TIME IN 2 SEASONS SO FUCK OFF LIKE SHE IS THIS SAVIOR! Sydney is selfish!

And please stop blaming racism when people are stating facts! Sydney & Carmy have nothing in common I mean literally nothing but food & Sydney can’t even cook that good & she can’t handle pressure. And yall Carmy x Syd shippers are ruining the show because it’s so much bigger than a cheesy love story about 2 ppl that are literally PLATONIC! Please grow up & stop ruining the story because it is so important for society! Plus yall shippers are LIARS LEGIT ASS LIARS, it’s not one scene where Carmy is looking lovingly in Sydney’s eyes! There is not 1 scene where Sydney is staring at Carmy lovingly foh yall are liars! Sydney is a clinging ass only child who wants Carmy to herself smh she is not jealous of Claire over Carmy, yall dumb asses! Sydney is jealous because she is clinging and she thought she would have Carmy all to herself while building “The Bear” & its menu! That’s not romantic love yall Damnn kids it’s clinging “only child” behavior!

And Carmy has never had family, friends, a girlfriend, employees or a restaurant to run all at the same time. So for Sydney to be mad that Carmy was spending time with Claire is selfish & weird & I hope I am never like her ever in my life! Carmy cut everybody off in his life when he was in NY but this time he hasn’t so people need to give him room in case he makes an error! I hate that Richie & Sydney judged Carmy so harshly when he was doing his very best to satisfy everybody around him. But @sula1956 don’t ever tell me I am not a 35 yr old black woman! Because I am and I wear my blackness as a badge of honor!

[afrofairysblog]

I know it's been a week but I haven't forgotten @spywhitney ( check out her blog it's great Mwah)

Here are my thoughts on all of the The Bear ships (both canon and non canon)

SYDCARMY: They honestly have a special place in my heart( one of if not the main reason I downloaded this app) and I was not ready for the chockhold it was going to have in my life but here I am 🤷🏿‍♀️. I first saw them in an out of context clip while watching a YouTube video ( ot was when Carmy asked Sydney to say yes chef in S1) and i was like oooo they intrigue me and ngl when I finally did watch the show I thought it was just gonna be platonic. However when I saw that last shoot in the S1 finale I was like OOOOO this is a slow burn and then I got to Ao3 and it was history ( as you can tell with my page I have been fighting to the nail with this ship lol).

SYDRICHIE: ngl.... I have a soft spot for this ship 👀 what can I say I love a good enemies to lovers or enemies to friends pipeline 🤷🏿‍♀️. I think it's because they have good banter and they are pretty funny together where I can see but I am so far gone with the Sydcarmy Army that I can't fully commit to this. Also the age gap, lowkey micoraggresstions Richie was throwing at her in S1( he did change so I'll give him that and me not seeing Sydney being a StepMom are so factors too. Regardless, they are my Top 3 Bro-Otps on the show cause I love their friendship and shootout to the Sydrichie girlies tho.

SYDMARCUS: sign... in another life I would have been a full time sydmarcus girlie cause I've had a had a ✨️ Ooooo are they gonna start something ✨️ moment with them but then I saw Sydcarmy and that I was like yeahhhhh Sorry Marcus . I just feel like they are better off as brother and sister you know what I'm saying. Plus there are a few people that only ship them because they are the only two prominent black characters that are around the same age. Nevertheless, they are also apart of my Top 3 Bro- Otps on the show!!

SYDLUCA: They're cute 🤷🏿‍♀️. Like ngl, I can see the appeal, but not for a long-term relationship, you know what I'm saying. Like it's giving plot device ship so Sydney can get her Stella got her Grove Back moment ( not that I don't mind that cause honestly she needs it and it'll be good to get a different perspective and a jealous plotline)but Luca is a supporting guest star and not a main so even if we do get the relationship it's not gonna be fully fleshed out ( and they always do this with black female characters). Also we know what this can develop for Sydney but we don't know how this can develop for Luca( not to say that Luca has no reason to not like Syd cause who are we kidding she's a catch but still" . Sydluca girlies are cool so shootout to yall too

CLAIRMY: Yall already know how I feel about them, THEY NEED TO JUST END IT !!!! Like idk why this ship brings out the hater in me but it just does ( it's mostly field by the metas I read which give a more perspective about the relationship and how weird it is). Like at first when I watched S2, I mostly just didn't ship them cause I thought they looked related and were boring. However, rewatching I, both of them don't let themselves be authentic with each other, it's like they try to be this witty Wes Anderson ahh type of couple where the manie pixie dream girl falls for the shy wonder bread art boy who just needs to find he's way with the power of love and unnerving eye contact ( see they truly bring the hater in me)which just don't work both character wise and for the show( ot derailed the show a bit. It'll be better if they are not together before they get even more Toxic.

CHEF FIELDS X CARMY: JAIL!!! Idc JAIL!!!!!!

MICHEAL X CARMY: ......To each there own but JAIL just JAIL

CARMY X RICHIE: I don't personally ship it cause they are very cousin coded to me but they're dynamic is really fascinating to me cause it's like a I hate you , I love you but your the only person I have in my life but why does it have to be you sorta vibe.

NATALIE X PETE: They are the Absolute cutest and underrated ngl. They show a depiction of a healthy relationship on the show that pretty refreshing to see like I love them.

MARCUS X LUCA: This is a sleeper hit ,I'm telling yall like they are cute!!!! They have such an ease and calming vibe when they interactive it gives so much warmth. I just feel like they would be a lowkey type of couple, and idk if the show will commit to the ship or even hint at it, but if they do, it has an audience 🤧

RICHIE X TIFFANY: They got some cute moments but I'm glad they are just friends. I feel like both of them needed to grow separately and not be together romantically.

RICHIE X JESS: Ngl, I don't really care about them but they're moments are really wholesome and I like there banter. I ship it 🙂‍↕️💅🏿. Also can reddit not make it weird with this couple like we get Jess is a good woman ( I like her) but let's not make it weird oof.

RICHIE X MICHEAL: Tbh o see the appeal, but damn if they ever were a couple, it just makes it more tragic .

TINA X HER HUSBAND: Once again they are the Absolute cutest and I lo e how they are married in real life!!!

SYDCARMRICHIE: Unpopular opinion ig, I really like this ship like they are the big three for a reason. Plus, I feel like when I come to stories involving this ship( kinda underrated), they bring the best of both worlds ( or worse if you wanna get messy with the story with both respective ships.

Well that's it for me guts, let me know ow your thoughts. This was fun and one of my longest post lol.

Also, wow, Sydney is in a lot of these ships lol

[carmenized-onions]

and i’m back with another yap session🤭okay okay, there were some parts that i forgot to mention last time so hopefully i can hit them this time and feel less insane😀

1. SYD AND TONY!!! i’ve been wanting to touch on them for a while but i never know how to do in a way that makes sense?? BUT THE FRIENDSHIP IS SO PRECIOUS, I CAN’T. they remind of the tiktok sound that’s like “we were girls together” and i literally can’t get that outta my head with them🥺 i think i just love reading about tony and the rest of the gang?? like i love seeing how they fit into the chaotic puzzle that was the beef– ESPECIALLY with all the new changes happening!! plus carmy’s reactions to tony’s dynamic with everyone is actually hilarious😭 like when he was so pressed that ppl have their own nicknames for her. like carmy, please remember to breathe LMAOOO

2. also the current chapters are still making me wanna run up my WALLS😭i don’t think i ever know peace anymore… WHAT DO MEAN THE WORSE DAY IF THEIR LIVES IS COMING?? SAVE ME?? IM SCARED??

3. and carmy’s so sick and twisted but like me too so it’s cool😎 but in all seriousness, it reminds me of that feeling of being in a 3 person friend group but knowing there’s a duo and you’re not apart of it (am i articulating this properly?? idk??) it’s such an odd feeling to be jealous of something that you know you probably shouldn’t be. like just because they’re besties, doesn’t mean that they care for you any less. but i also get his desire to wanting to be her person and not just the little brother full in but then again, you can’t even blame him for feeling like that cause WHO WOULDN’T??

AHHH THERES SO MUCH MORE I WANNA SAY but this is getting kinda long so i will hold off‼️again, just wanna reiterate how much your writing makes me wanna ascend into the divine plane; it literally so amazingggg😫 tysm for reading this certified long ass yap session🫶🏾

Cannot define enough how much I love these yap sessions, literally always feel free to send me any and all fleeting thoughts in the brain box.

aside: new chapter uhhhh Sunday probably? Maybe tomorrow possibly? Pending how fast I am. I'm trying to get the next two chapters drafts done together so I can refine the first one with the knowledge of what's gonna happen in the second. Cause n Effect, All That.

ANYWAYS, you can be incoherent-- Just so you know-- It's my job to make sense of what's in my inbox, u don't have to work on that. BUT YES I LOVE WRITIN EM, I am slowly more and more just writing bits and pieces of my own friendships and isms into them. So, they're a delight of memories, to write about. AND VERY MUCH SO WE WERE GIRLS TOGETHER. I think that's literally a line, in delivery fees, something like 'you become girls, together' cause it's just ! regress! in a good way hehe.

I love writing Tony with the idea of a season 3 Bear-- Because it's this weird thing where she is simultaneously new and old-- And everything to her is also new and old. It's this weird fucking neo-nostalgia that's really fun to chew on. AND YES HE'S SO CREASED.

I try to put myself in the perspective of the perspective I'm writing for, with whatever, and when I was writing Carmen's chapter I was like this stupid motherfucker Richie got to do all this shit and hae all these stupid nicknames why the FUCK DO YOU WANT TO SAY HI TO HIM?? RICHIE!!!!?!?!??!?! And then reading it back now, a week or so later, I was like Wow. Kind of a lot, bro. Lets both take a step back.

2. Your fears are valid. Well. Is that what I'm supposed to say here? Hm. Here's what I'll say, I haven't gotten to the bad bad part, yet. So like, it could end up being not that bad, to you guys. To me it's bad. It's really bad. But like, maybe you're fine. ALSO 3RD OR 4TH WORST DAY I SAID-- JUST THE WORST FRIDAY. Because I had to give them Top something, I just needed to get specific.

3. As the littlest sibling, 100%. I can't see myself being friends with any of my older brothers' friends, so the idea of becoming one of their friends and posthumously finding out they were best friends with my brother? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? DID THEY TELL YOU ABOUT ME? DO YOU THINK I'M LITTLE BABY LITTLE STUPID? And it's also like, just being friends with All of The Beef is like ohhhhh, I remember it took me a long time to warm up and make my way with them, but for you it was probably so easy cause you're just like that, which is why I like you so why do I feel angry about that !!!

AND ONCE AGAIN, THANK YOU THANK YOU, FEEL FREE TO YELL IN MY INBOX WHENEVER. P.s if anyone made it this far, u got me. I'm makin' a taglist. Reply/DM/Ask to be added!

But if you wanna be added,,,, you gotta send an essay in with it baby, or I simply won't it's the RULES!

p.s i really do love u so dearly for sending in your thoughts thank u thank u angel <3

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

I just gave it a shot:

Play

Carmy and Sydney are sitting side by side in a family service that takes place after an insanely busy lunch service, which has proved to be obscenely profitable, so they are actually celebrating. But they are so exhausted that they don’t even feel like eating or talking for that matter. Most of the staff falls into easy conversation as per usual, small talk that turns into laughter, the typical internal jokes between Ebra and Tina that crack everyone start causing their typical effect in the tight-knit group but Carmy and Syd remain silent, at the head of the table. At the other end of the table, Richie clocks the EC’s hand that creeps upon Sydney’s braids and starts casually playing with them. She doesn’t mind and lets him continue indulging in this innocent game he loves. Carmy is not even aware he’s doing it and keeps it up. They are both in their bubble and Richie’s falcon eyes are all over them. Cousin says nothing. Two days later, in a run-of-the-mill shift meeting, the same creepy tattooed hand strikes Sydney’s braids again and Richie side-eyes it but tries to play it cool till the meeting is over. Once the meeting finishes, Richie, unable to keep his silence any longer, pulls Carmy aside to have a word. "Cousin, is there something you wanna tell me?" “Nope.” Richie’s voice laced with unease clarifies, "I've noticed you have been “playing” for lack of a better term with Syd’s hair a lot lately. I know you guys are close, but it seems a bit odd unless…” Sydney shows up unannounced behind Richie and goes, "Unless you mind your fucking business and understand that it's just something he does, Richie. It's like a comfort thing for him, I guess. It doesn't bother me, so I’m not sure why it seems to bother you." “It doesn’t bother me, it just looks unprofessional.” Carmy looks unbothered by Richie’s comments by Syd is furious. "Just because something doesn't fit into your narrow view of what's professional doesn't mean it's not," Sydney retorts, her eyes flashing with anger. "Try focusing on your own habits before criticizing others, Richie." Richie, taken aback by Sydney's fiery defense, stammers for a moment before replying, "All right, I hear you. I'll mind my own business, boss." Carmy, having stayed silent throughout the exchange, finally speaks up. "Maybe you’re just jealous, cousin. Do you want me to play with your hair too?” “Oh, was that it? Sorry, Richie, my bad. You deserve some love too. But Carmy, cousin doesn’t have much hair left to play with… you will have to hurry up.” Syd and Carmy both laugh out loud and Richie storms out, visibly obfuscated. The next day in family service Carmy stands behind Richie’s chair and starts to innocently play with his hair, “Touch me one more time, lizard and I swear to God I will rip it off.” Carmy backs off smiling mischievously and Sydney’s voice from the other side of the room rings out, "Careful, Richie, he signs your checks with that hand, plus stress causes hair loss, you might wanna relax!" Everybody laughs at Cousin’s expense and he storms out, yet again. Later that day, at Carmy’s place, while he’s doing the dishes, Syd goes up behind him, wraps her arms around his waist, and as she places her chin on his shoulder asks, “How do you think he will react when he finds out you also “play” with other parts of me?” ;)

Someone needs to write a fanfic of Carmy rubbing his hand along Syd's back, and he doesn't realize he's doing it. Like right in the middle of a shift meeting, and Richie side eyes it.

[yezzyyae]

PLEASE WATCH THE SHOW Properly! “THE BEAR”

Nothing makes my stomach hurt more than “Sydney & Carmen love stories” 🥴 I can say if yall wish they were a couple but yall literally lying about scenes in the show! Yall literally ignoring the writers, creators, and actors about how Sydney & Carmen is being written & acted upon. It’s disturbing because I can only imagine what yall everyday lives are like smh

There is not one scene where Carmen & Sydney are glazing at each other secretly in love! Y’all not watching the show correctly and it’s soo fu*king annoying!

Sydney is not jealous of Claire & Carmen’s relationship because she is secretly in love w/ Carmen. Sydney is jealous because she is wired that way. Sydney wants all of Carmen’s attention because she been following his career since eating his food in NY so once she got in his world, she wanted him all to herself. Of course Sydney would want Carmen’s focus because her last business failed so she is banking everything on “The Bear” smh ITS NOT LOVE! Please stop being weird! Carmen is not in love with Sydney smh Carmen was trying to balance his love, life, grief, and business in season 2 not holding on to these secret feelings for Sydney.

ITS SELFISH TO CARMEN’S STORY! To make up things when the show is not a riddle to figure out! Everything is laid out in color for us to see so I don’t understand how yall see Sydney & Carmen in love when Sydney didn’t even know Marcus liked her smh. Sydney is not focus on love right now she just wants to make her dreams come through and working beside Carmy is helping her. Sydney is not the angel on the show smh Sydney doesn’t admit when she is wrong & she is selfish! Carmy never asked Sydney to come back in season 1 finale, he told her to come get her last check. Sydney is not a good #2 and I hope season 3 reflects on that. Season 1 episode 7 “Review” the mistake was Sydney’s and plus she rushed Carmen in the to-gos when they were both not ready. Sydney blaming Carmy is insane to me I hate that whole interaction when she calls him a “shitty person” it’s SELFISH! Sydney never offers her sympathy to Carmen about the loss of his brother who restaurant she came in trying to control. It’s weird Carmen is not a shitty person, he is just a complexed person who does not know how to control his emotions when he is not in control. But Sydney is just selfish to me smh “The Bear” is Carmen’s dream and he brings Sydney along because he never had a mentor other than Mikey Berzatto. But Sydney only sees herself and nobody else. I hate how ppl watch the show & take from it that Sydney is the best chef and person but she was very mean to Richie bringing up his daughter in their argument was DISGUSTING! Sydney takes advantage of Carmy’s fragile mental state & try to turn the restaurant into her own. Why the fuck would “The Beef” sell Cola-Braised Short Ribs and Risotto when they just making greasy ass beef sandwiches smh it’s weird and stupid!

ITS NOT ENOUGH TIME IN THE DAY FOR ME TO BREAK DOWN SYDNEY ADAMU’S CHARACTER NOW. SOON SHE WALKED IN THE DOOR OF “THE BEEF” SHE WAS DOING BOOK REPORTS LIKE CARMY DOESN’T SEE THE THINGS THAT NEEDS TO BE CHANGE! HE WAS ONLY THERE FOR 2 WEEKS BEFORE SYDNEY GOT THERE THO! 2 WEEKS HE WAS JUST TRYING TO FIGURE THINGS OUT & GRIEVING BUT SYDNEY CAME IN & TOOK ADVANTAGE!

I’m not done ima do another analysis of SYDNEY ADAMU! I am so annoyed I hate how she is looked at as the Angel of the show when she is just ass shitty ass Carmen.

[gingerylangylang1979]

Why I’m Not Feelin’ a Sydney Love Triangle

While I can respect fans seeing possibilities for our ingenue having potential with several men on The Bear I just really hope that doesn’t happen. I’m not one of those people that is against ANY romance on the show but having a love triangle does seem a bit soapy and honestly I just don’t think Sydney is that flaky. 

I’m not saying I’ve never loved shows that have a love triangle, I just usually love those shows IN SPITE of there being one. I find it usually makes me not like the person at the center as much even if I previously adored them. Plus, I hate seeing female characters look that indecisive and not self-aware. Something about it just comes across as immature. Maybe it’s just because while I have personally been capable of liking two people at the same time I’ve never been in a Bachelor A or B scenario. It just seems unrealistic that any competent person would be struggling over something like that in pursuit of a deep relationship. Just choose one or choose none. I never walk away from those plot lines viewing the woman as super empowered or desirable, I think she just ends up looking childish.

Now there is poor embattled, repressed Carmy. First, I just don’t want Carmy having to compete with anybody. Boy has enough suffering and doesn’t probably catch feelings easily. It would be nice to see him navigate romance without feeling like he needs to smoke a motherfucker. Second, Carmy needs friends, male friends. He lost a brother who seems to have been more like a stand-in dad. He seems to have been a loner most of his life. As dysfunctional as last season was he did establish bonds with Marcus and Richie and I think he needs camaraderie, not a challenge and bad vibes. There is a male friendship crisis. Let Carmy have guy friends!

Then, we get to the options. Carmy versus Marcus and Carmy versus Richie. 

As much as people harp on a power imbalance between Carmy and Sydney, the greater one exists between Carmy and Marcus (plus Sydney is technically Marcus’ boss, too). Now I can see Carmy maybe getting jealous of the friendship between Sydney and Marcus, I don’t think it will go beyond him mistakenly thinking something is up. And as much as people claim Carmy and Sydney have a strictly friends/mentor vibe that’s the vibe I get from Sydney and Marcus. Yes, they bonded fast but almost too fast like they are family. I see them as the two young Black professionals that are like, hey we in this together. I don’t see any sexual tension, like at all. No longing looks, no stolen glances, no touches that stand out. It’s more like I got your back, let’s giggle and talk shit. Them in a relationship also serves no narrative purpose. There is no challenge. Would either of them grow in a vital way? Would it add to any existing plot lines? No, it would be the definition of having a relationship just to have one, IMO. I also think Chester and Marcus could be a couple. 

Now, Richie. Granted, Richie and Sydney (also his boss) have an intense vibe that could be sexual tension, but this would be the messiest and most disappointing move. Like, serious broken relationships over what would just be merely a lusty hookup. And let’s not forget how disrespectful Richie has been to her. Like, at any other job he would be fired and have a potential lawsuit on his hands. The misogyny and harassment is kind of over the top. Even if the sex was explosive it just would not be enough to redeem how he treated this precious young Black woman just trying to be excellent. It just kind of grosses me out as a young Black woman. I could never be with a white man that treated me like that. We could get to cool, but never lover. Sorry. Richie also is kind of a loser. People say Syd is too good for Carmy (which I balk at, he just needs to heal), so no way in hell Richie is on her level. Richie has some good qualities but we have a man that is just kind of content with mediocre and lives in the past. What is the appeal for our fair lady? Carmy may be struggling emotionally but he has a maturity Richie doesn’t and has accomplished a lot and has a vision... that he shares with Sydney. Plus, Carmy and Richie would never be the same. Carmy is all Cousin got and Cousin is as close to Mikey as he will ever be again. 

So yeah, I know some people may really ship Sydney with more than one person or may just like maximal drama but I’m just not here for that kind of crazy on a show that already has enough crazy. Carmy deserves better, Sydney deserves better. Let the slow burn simmer. 

Bonus: Nobody looks at Sydney like Carmy looks at Sydney. The fucking end.

[kdbleu]

Thoughts on The Bears Season 2; Notoriety and Perfectionism

One of the things I would love to see in The Bear S2 (and/or beyond) is how Carmy feels about his own notoriety and deals with the stress and anxiety that brings to opening the Bear. And how that affects his relationships. No one at the Beef cares who is Carmy is, except Sydney, but food people would know and will very much care that he’s opening a new version of his family’s place. That adds an outside pressure to the Bear that Carmy been able to avoid making sandwiches at the Beef. 

Sydney would be the most impacted by his reputation and the pressure that comes with his being known, but it would ripple out to Richie not being the fine dining type, and Sugar who I think could still take or leave the restaurant in general.

Since so much of Carmy’s self-worth is tied up in his cooking as pointed out by @heardchef, being able to smoke anyone who comes into stage in New York in ep. 8, has a value to him beyond just beating the competition. It’s as much about driving himself to learn and get better. He wants to elevate the Beef because it can be better. He wants to love at the top of his game. He’s motivated by the need to be not just good or great, but the fucking best. Something more like perfect that number one. It’s not just that he could cook better than anyone who came to stage in New York was that he could beat all of them. The streak fed his ego.

Which also means he wants the best reviews and highest compliments, but only from people and places he really respects. Otherwise, it’s just something that makes him mad without adding fuel to the fire. He sees someone similar in Sydney. That she too wants to keep improving and work to be the best.

I think that’s where his line about expecting more from her comes from. That’s a compliment to him because he’s saying she’s good enough to be better than great. That he wants to work with her because she’s talented and can keep improving. (It should be noted that “I expected more from you” is the kind of thing what motivates me. In fact, it kind of turns me on that someone would see at potential in me that held me above the rest of the group.) Carmy’s faith in Syd in one of the things that he gives her. He believes she can be great and successful even when she doesn’t. And He’s unyielding in his support of her even when things are falling apart.

All of this is to say, it never felt like a coincidence that it’s the review that breaks him in ep. 7. Not because he’s jealous of the review. Or he doesn’t think she deserves the praise in a general sense. Because she wasn’t perfect*, but the dish could have been.

After he initially tastes her dish Carmy has every intention of coming back to work on it with her, but Sydney jumps the workshop. She doesn’t mean to, and he gets that as much as he can in the moment, but Carmy’s desire for perfect plus his need/ability to take his time means he puts in the work to get things as close to perfect as possible every time. I also think it hurts him that she doesn’t seem to value taking the time to get the food right or the time he’s offering her personally.

But it also makes me wonder about how the additional attention he’s going to bring the Bear will add stress to their relationship and partnership. Not just in how they approach moving forward impulsive vs intentional but also what it would means for them to get reviews that he doesn’t think are earned by the food or how they might be treated differently by the press and public. How would Carmy react to Syd getting more positive attention than he does?

 I think it would depend on whether or not he thought that praise was deserved, but then what does that do to their relationship both personally and professionally? And how does he deal with knowing she might walk like she did before? How does Sydney take slowing down? How do they both learn to really work together on things to improve each other and their food?

 Also, I really want Carmy to have to go on a local cooking show and have flashbacks to his cooking show nightmare, because his trauma is everything to me.

  *I think he gets that she’s not actually perfect which is why he keeps trying to not be mad at her and telling her everything’s fine when it’s so, so obviously not.

[ciaomarie]

So insightful!! I wonder if, in S1, he was feeling a little ashamed after seeing how Sydney turned the kitchen around by earning everyone's respect. Then she comes to him with that short rib dish. I understand his points with taking it slow because The Beef was just starting to run smoothly, but I agree that he was jealous and also territorial. He was supposed to fix The Beef (be the hero, earn love as you stated). BUT he also desperately wants emotional intimacy and community. He is a man divided against himself!! He started The Bear to create a new dream with Syd and honor his brother's wish to "Let it Rip". Then, self-sabotoging all S2, because he doesn't deserve the dream or Sydney, but maybe Claire can make him "normal" and is validation that he is lovable. Plus, sex. Idk. Poor Carmy. That mommy wound is DEEP. It will take at least one repairative relationship (possibly with a good therapist) and time to change those limiting beliefs. Ugh!!!

CARMY NEVER WANTED TO CREATE A MENU WITH SYD.

AND WHY THAT IS THE CORE THEME OF THE SHOW

PART 1: THE LIE THAT CARMY BELIEVES

So, one of the bases of creating an efficient character arc is to give the character something they want, and something they need. In the pursuit of getting what they want, the theme of the show and obstacles will show them what they need. Most of the time, they need healing from an emotional wound that prevents them from growing into the ultimate version of themselves, capable of winning the challenges of the story. I will try to explore Carmy's wound and, more importantly, the lie that created that wound.

In 'The negative trait thesaurus" by Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi, it reads:

"Wounds are often kept secret from others because embedded within them is the lie-an untruth that the character believes about himself."

When I started therapy (disclaimer: this is not professional advice; I am just talking from how I interpreted all of this), I was introduced to the concept of "limiting beliefs:" lies we have told ourselves about our own nature or the nature of the world. The most difficult beliefs to leave behind are those established in our early childhoods, and we told ourselves those lies to make sense of the world, to make peace with realities we were not equipped to comprehend yet. 

Some examples of lies people belive:

"I am too stupid to learn anything; my teacher said so" "It was my fault that I was molested." "I am a bad person for wanting a different life."

When people believe these lies, they will act accordingly, maybe attracting situations that hurt them but keeping the lie active in their lives. They may self-sabotage or create bonds with people who also believe the lie, even if it doesn't seem this way. 

In some cases, people may develop complete personalities or behaviors to prove the lie wrong, but deep down, they still believe in the lie. Carmy falls into this last category. This is where we find the most contradictory parts of his personality, how he can act shy and insecure in some instances and appear confident and even aggressive in others. 

Long post underneath.

THE RESENT OF A MOTHER:

We can only assume here because I think Storer is gonna let us know more about this soon, but I think I got an idea of this wound when I saw the only moment Carmy was alone with Donna on "Fishes."

I have a lot of things to say about Donna herself, but let's begin with the obvious: the conversation in this scene had little to do with the dinner itself. This was a woman stating that she felt alone and not valued, probably due to being abandoned by her husband and having to overwork herself at the beef to support her 3 kids, all while being a single mother. We don't know if this feeling of abandonment is something she has carried since childhood, but in the state of current womanhood, it wouldn't be uncommon. The work of women (especially mothers), particularly the emotional labor, is rather invisible and not valued at all.

But again, this is something she has used as fuel to resent her kids, who, at the end of the day, didn't ask to be here. Her anger has to go somewhere since she cannot direct it toward the people that ctually caused it. To get to the point:

THE BEARZATTO SYBLING DYNAMIC

Carmy said, "You are not alone; I am here with you." (This kind of comes back to telling Syd she was not alone at the end of the season.) This scene is about a kid trying to communicate to his mother that he loves her and trying desperately to connect with her, to get her to express her affection for him as well.

It tells me that growing up, he felt like he had to "earn" her affection. Donna likes to make her kids feel guilty about her unhappiness, so the kids feel that they are constantly walking on shells because they think their mother hates them, or at least that she resents them and that it is their responsibility to fix it.

In the scene, Carmy asked,

"What is so hard, Mom?"

I think what he was actually asking is, "What is so hard about being with us, to love us? What did we do to you that made you resent us this way?" He is asking because he wants to know, to finally understand. Why do you drink, Mom? Why do you yell? Why do you say such hurtful things?

When she answers, "Nobody makes things beautiful for me," you can see in his face the disconnection. He knows he can't do anything about that.

Then, a crucial part in the scene occurs when Donna calls him "Michael, " which indicates that the only one of her children who could make her feel happy was Michael, or at least that is how the other two kids felt. You can see the hurt in Carmy's eyes in the scene because this answer dismisses his effort to connect to his mother in his own right. She asks him to just leave. He offers to wait to connect with her. Then, it comes to the most chilling moment on the scene, the "we have a problem" using his full name, with resentment in every word. She hugs him while crying, kisses him, and then slaps him.

This is rejection. There is a book called "The Five Wounds of the Soul": wich are Rejection, Abandonment, Humiliation, Betrayal, and Injustice. I think Carmy's wound is rejection, for never earning his mother's love, particularly comparing himself to Michael.

Michael took responsibility for the Beef, finally giving their mom a break. It was Michael's job to make sure everyone was having a good time, to compensate for the discomfort that caused being in Donna's presence, to make sure all of them stayed as a family, which was Donna's intention, so Michael thought he had to make that happen for her. Therefore, Michael is the only one of her kids who succeeds and makes her happy. We know Donna rejects Natalie and Carmy. About Natalie, we can write another whole essay.

THE LIE THAT CARMY BELIVES

According to this scene, I think Carmy thinks that her mother didn't love him because he is not Michael; in fact, he is the most "not like Michael" someone could be. He was shy and stuttered and didn't have friends or girlfriends, comparable to Michael's ability to control every room he was in. Carmy was sensible and no macho alfa as Michael presented himself to be. Carmy left home and the family business, and both Michael and Donna expressed that they feel like he thinks he is better than them. Michael admitted later to admiring Carmy's work in Copenhagen, but Donna never did. carmy grew up having to live with the crumbles of Donna's attention that Michael left behind, wondering every day what was so wrong with him that made her reject him, and wondering what he could do to change that.

The lie that Carmy belives, could be sumarize this way:

I need to earn people's love. I need to always go the extra mile, doing the most possible at all times to earn people's love.

This all goes back to his trauma with Michael. It goes back to his career as a chef and how he became the best. He didn't need to succeed on a larger scale in the culinary industry to earn Michael's respect and love; he needed to be the best in the world, so he did that. He judges his own social abilities, comparing them to Miachae's. He left that promising career only because of Michae's death. He got the girlfriend Michael wanted for him (not saying it was the only reason, but it was there).

PART 2: WHAT DOES ALL OF THIS HAD TO DO WITH DYSNEY?

Well, what does a person who feels they always need to do the most? They do the most. I want to bring you back to the moments Carmy had to develop menu ideas with Syd on s1 and s2.

When Syd suggested items for the menu in s1, he gave her an inconclusive, not enthusiastic "maybe."

When she had to actually cook the thing for him to approve, he tried to make her feel small about it. He felt the need to remind her that she was "impatient and green," according to her previous bosses. He commented about her possibly ruining the flow by using time to cook her recipe. Yikes all around, but the core here is that he was treating her like an enemy, like competition, while she was trying to save the restaurant with what they had on hand to use the most efficient solution.

Then, when Carmy tries the dish and feels stunned by it, he has to make an ambiguous excuse on the fly and just finishes every chance of them using the recipe by saying, "is not ready yet"

And what does he do next? He goes to show the crew a recipe that is extremely complicated for the level they are operating at currently—they said so themselves. I think the recipe is a variation of Donna's butter chicken recipe. To put a nail on that coffin of his intentions to earn her love and approval at the end of it all.

But why does he do all this? Because he needs to be the hero, subconsciously, he is still that small kid begging for acceptance and love; he must go the extra mile. He cannot accept Sydney's help and partnership, because that will take away from him earning what he wants on his own merit.

In S2, he seems unenthusiastic about starting the menu in the first place. Then Claire comes along, and he tries to make it work with Syd and the menu, but I think he subconsciously thanks the universe for not having to go to his core wound. That is what self-sabotage is. That is why he bailed on the food tour with Syd, using such a stupid excuse as helping somebody else move out and never mentioning it again. He never asked her what she liked or what ideas she thought of. For most of the creative process, Syd is alone, working on her own creative crisis. The menu ends up being like two recipes they made in collaboration and then all of his family's traditional recipes. It is two of Syd's recipes and the rest of Carmy's. Then, desserts Marcus did on his own. The collaboration was superficial at best.

All of this creates the core theme of the show. The Bear was once a chaotic place (like their childhood home) that needs to evolve into an efficient, peaceful place built on love, support, and mutual collaboration like a functional family should be. Sydney is the member of this found family that forces Carmy to confront his core wound and learn he can actually be good enough while still accepting help. Therapy probably will play an important part in this theme, alongside with Carmy learning there was nothing wrong with him in the first place, that earning your parent's love is not something a kid can do.

Thankyou for reading. Gif and images are not mine.

[carmenized-onions]

okay i’m usually not one to leave messages but i feel like im going INSANE– so please feel free to ignore this vomit of words but i need to talk my shit so i can have PEACE😭 YOU’RE SO TALENTED, ITS SICK🫵🏾okay but seriously, i haven’t felt so feral over someone’s writing in a longggg time so im feeling a lil crazyy

AGAIN PLEASE FEEL FREE TO IGNORE ME but that latest chapter with carmy’s pov had me rolling!! he’s so real, feelin all jealous of tony but also of mikey because ngl i would too! like whatdoyoumean im late to the party and everyone has already built in life long memories with this person??? BUT ALSO, im not special?? crazy. like the thought of realizing that your person might just be everyone’s person (does that even make sense idk)?? yeah i would feel sick and twisted too😀and and it makes me feel more insane when he had that subtle thought of being mikey’s fill in, LIKE??? plus tony’s mysterious ass past with rich and mike?? i’ll never be free omggg

i wish i could articulate my point better in way that makes sense but im running on 2 hours of sleep and goldfish so i’ll spare you the rest of my delirious spiel– GOOD NIGHTh🤙🏾

I need you to know so bad, I WOULD NEVER IGNORE THIS!!! This made me so happy to read last night, and as I read over it again, with shattered wrists from CPR/First Aid training, eating an overpriced pizza in my grandmother's bed, this is like, such a balm to the soul bb. Please please please continue to yap in my inbox, i cannot define to what end how happy it makes me (and frankly, not to guilt trip, but how sad it makes me when people like but don't say what they thought ;-; but i get it, i lurk too)

BUT ANYWAYS, TO THE MEAT OF YOUR WORDS

YES!!! I'm so happy to hear someone say they also vv much get Carmen's point of like fuck, i missed this. It's such a tough emotion because it feels like-- You shouldn't be allowed to feel that way? AND SAME WITH THE YOUR PERSON IS EVERYONE'S PERSON-- EXACTLYYYYYYY

It's like, I can't be mad that everyone else also knows how incredible my person is-- But like, they're my person-- What do you MEAN they were your person first??? I'm gonna EXPLODE!!! Sick and twisted, fr.

THE FILL IN !!!! THE FILL IN LINE!!!! WHY IS NO ONE YELLING MORE ABOUT THE FILL IN TBH I THOUGHT THAT WAS GOING TO GUT Y'ALL LIKE FUCKIN FILLET O FISH MF--

Ahem,

I mean, I agree, yes, quite.

Please please please, continue to send in thoughts!!! But also GET CONSISTENT SLEEP!!!! I'm not one to talk i really need to go to bed now i'm already looking at 6 hours square in the face but i didn't get to WRITE TODAY and i'm gonna be GRUMPY if it STAYS THAT WAY!!!

[yezzyyae]

Listen when I make posts about Sydney Adamu from “The Bear” I always post the facts of the show. I am not making up things I literally point out her behavior from the 2 season she been on “The Bear”. It’s so crazy how ppl get on my post and call themselves cursing me out but never can dispute the facts I laid out.

That is called insanity literally Sydney Adamu’s fans are INSANE! They ignore the facts and make up things like this imaginary relationship they see between Carmy & Sydney. How can adults be soo insane and make up things, take scenes out of context, literally rewrite the script, & disrespect Carmy & Sydney’s friendship.

I know insanity is contagious so I don’t fault a lot of yall but the majority of yall “Sydney & Carmy’s shippers” need to be checked in a mental ward. Esp that scene near the lockers Season 2 Episode 1 “Beef” and Carmy & Sydney is awkward saying goodbye cause they going home early for the day. I seen someone say “Carmy wanted to ask Sydney out on a date that’s why he was awkwardly standing there” 😂😂wait I have to laugh but how did yall get that from that scene. Carmy & Sydney’s whole life is cooking & the restaurant at that moment so going home super early and not working was super awkward they didn’t know what to do w/ their free time. NOT CARMY SCARED TO ASK SYDNEY ON A DATE! INSANE ASS FANS!

Wait the other scene I hate if Carmy buying Sydney the “chef whites jacket”. As a friend Carmy seen how happy Sydney was looking at his and Carmy listens to his friends around him. So as a friend and boss Carmy order Sydney a “chef whites”. It was a kind gesture not romantic applied but Carmy being kind. Like Carmy giving Tina his special hand craved knife. So is Carmy in love with Tina because he gave up that special knife that he loves. I WILL LET YALL SHIPPERS THINK ON THAT!

INSANITY IS RUINING A GREAT SHOW “THE BEAR”. The writers does not need y’all help to writer this story Chris Storer and his team is doing an excellent job! Stop taking scenes out of context and lying it’s weird! Plus LEAVE ME ALONE UNLESS YOU CAN SHOW ME FACTS. Back up yall thoughts the show have 2 seasons because I can back up mines.

Sydney takes no responsibility she quit when Carmy realized her mistake and called her out. Sydney should have threw her dish away not give it to a customer. Sydney is disrespectful to Carmy & does not respect him. Sydney always argue back with Carmy when he correct her esp in the kitchen when he can cook way better than Sydney ever can! Sydney was an evil bitch to Richie and brought his daughter up in their argument which was cruel! Sydney is clingy and weird. Sydney was jealous of Carmy’s drawings which is stupid. Sydney can’t cook every recipe Carmy & her tried she got wrong and when she went to go cook on her own she still couldn’t cook properly! THESE ARE ALL FACTS IN THE SHOW!

I feel sorry for the world because there are soo many Sydneys out here who think that behavior is okay. Smh and it’s fucked up.

[yezzyyae]

Again you are living through Sydney so you not seeing her clearly. Ayo even says that Sydney is not that good of a person how ppl make her to be. And Carmy does the “I’m sorry” sign 1st after the “seven fishes” so please go watch the show properly! Sydney have never good a great dish that’s why she is jealous that Carmy talked to Claire. Sydney can’t control who Carmy talks too plus if she was so invested she should have called the “fridge guy” because as his 2nd chef she know Carmy didn’t call that man. But she also focus on Claire she was not focus that’s why she couldn’t handle the front of the house when Carmy got locked in the walk-in. Sydney always need a crutch smh she never on her own & hold it down.

Plus did you forget when Sydney cursed at the staff when they hid her onions then brought them back to her. Smh after Carmy said “they did the same thing to me it’s paying your dues” she still cursed and said “fuck you” to Marcus umm did you forget that?? Since everybody act like she so innocent & Carmy only screams but Sydney was so mad & compared herself to Carmy when she was the “sous chef” at that point! It’s insane how weird yall watch the show smh Sydney is a bitch but cause she is black & female ppl think she is soo strong but she is rude like Carmy was.

So please watch the show properly. Cause you are scaring me I say facts the things I’m saying are accurate and Sydney have done in the show. I’m not making things up.

Saying Sydney apologized about the “seven fishes” is a lie because Carmy said sorry 1st then she turned to Tina but she never apologized to Tina for yelling. Smh yall are WEIRD! Watch the show properly! Stop living through Sydney she is weird!

No like I’m totally fine I definitely haven’t been obsessing over how Claire is a literal manifestation of Camry’s past and his desire to be closer to his brother cause Mikey wanted Carmy to go for her when he’d been alive. And no I’m totally not thinking about how that clinging to Claire/the past is his way of avoiding Sydney who represents innovation, The Future, his life without Mikey, The Bear and Camry’s fear of his own possible success.

[yeschefthankyouchef]

the snippet you posted of the new chapter has spurred me into a reread and this made me realize that i never made any unsolicited commentary on this chapter? this is a great injustice and i must right this wrong immediately. plus my ocd is going bonkers knowing that i’ve talked your ear off about every chapter except for this one but that’s beside the point.

“Enter Donna Berzatto, a woman who came to feel like a second mom to you.”

one thing that has always struck me as interesting in this story is the way that you’ve portrayed donna - it’s still very true to the source material but you don’t paint her out to be this absolute villain with no redeeming qualities. you made her three dimensional and gave her some humanity without excusing her horrific behavior, it’s a really delicate balance that i feel i rarely see. it’s a nice change of pace and a unique take on such a loaded character.

“You weren’t just friends at his house, but you were school friends, you were everywhere friends.”

on both my initial and my reread i’ve loved this line, it’s just so cute and holds some childlike innocence in it. everywhere friends is just such a wholesome term of endearment.

“Include the fact that you had been neighbors practically your whole lives and never once taken an interest in each other aside from shy waves and curious childlike staring when either of you would be outside.”

another line i find absolutely adorable and human - i can picture this so clearly and i just love the visual.

“I know you didn’t come all this way just to stand outside staring at my family home like a fucking weirdo Baby.”

god i miss him - the biggest barby shipper of them all. i just know he’s kickin it in heaven fucking screaming at present day carmy for being such a stupid idiot, much like i also do😌

“Let Carmy be fucking wonder boy Carmy a’ight.”

how could i forget about this absolute gem of a line?! will be referring to carmy solely as wonder boy from here on out.

“This hug felt heavier, like there were things Mikey wanted to tell you but couldn’t, things he only felt he could convey through a hug, things you weren’t sure if you wanted to question or not.”

goddamnit this hurts something fierce - why am i putting myself through this again?

“Richie jutted his head in the direction of the front door, “Outside talking to Baby.”

i love that richie just dropped this on him so casually - it’s so on brand. i also love how jealous wonder boy gets about baby and mikey as if he didnt ghost her. truly some top shelf angst in this one.

“all anyone wanted from the youngest Berzatto was a visit”

that hurted

“Get a load of these fucking losers hugging on the porch like they’re in some fucking Hallmark movie or some shit.”

this is so funny to me simply because it holds the implication that richie watches hallmark movie which actually is 100% canon to me now and if anyone disagrees don’t tell me i’m sensitive

“A’ight fuckers you can all stop pretending you care so much about Carmy and his little rat in the chef hat bullshit. We got the real deal here now, Baby's gracing us with her journalist presence.”

your honor i LOVE HIMMMMMMMMM but also i can’t stop picturing carmy as the rat in the chef hat and not the chef with the rat in his hat

“Maybe the life where it was you and Carmy had finally taken its last breath and you were just too clingy and desperate to realize.”

this is more brutal than i recall but damn do i love the hurt! torn between basking in all the pain that is this life of barby and wanting to read about the life where they worked out and love eachother and have no problems ever😔 too bad carmy is emotionally stunted😔 but i also also a broken man it’s my toxic trait😔

“The first positive emotion he granted you since you walked back into his life 30 minutes ago.”

the wording here is absolutely everything to me. the use of ‘granted’ drives the knife in deeper and you come in with the kill of how short term you’ve been back in his life. it just is really the perfect close to the perfect beginning.

chapter one | a berzatto family christmas

masterlist | next chapter ↣

pairing(s): carmen berzatto x fem!reader : platonic!michael berzatto x fem!reader : platonic!richie jerimovich x fem!reader

summary: you reunite with carmy years later at the berzatto family christmas party.

warnings: language (cursing), blasphemy, angst (maybe?), spoilers kinda (if you haven't seen season 2 don't read), the berzatto family, not dialogue heavy, very subtle hints to mikey being suicidal, probably ooc!characters, idk what else but if you find something let me know please! not beta’d and minimal editing so sorry for any mistakes. i also wrote this overstimulated on caffeine so if it doesn’t make sense or it’s repetitive then we know why : )

semantics: no use of Y/N: reader goes by the nickname Baby it has a backstory and its literally so simple, if this bothers you idk what to tell you, sorry : (

wc: 4.7k

You were standing on the sidewalk, nerves filling your body as you hyped yourself up to take the few steps left to the porch and ring the doorbell. You shouldn’t have been so nervous, you knew that but your mind was spinning with the myriad of scenarios both good and bad; that could play out once you stepped foot past the threshold. In all honesty, it wasn’t so much that you were nervous to enter the house itself, it was the fact that you’d be face to face with your childhood best friend for the first time in you didn’t even know how long. Maybe childhood best friend was a stretch you had only been introduced into each other's lives due to circumstance, and because of that forced proximity, you both took comfort in having someone stable around.

The two of you weren’t friends because you had chosen each other, or because you had met in kindergarten and shared toys in the sandbox because the other kids were stingy. No, you met because as a single mom, your mother needed all the shifts she could get even if that meant working the graveyard shift at the hospital, and only seeing you a handful of hours throughout the day because most times she was too dead on her feet to be conscious for more than a few hours. And when she could no longer pay the babysitter her next best option was the eccentric woman across the street who had children close in age with you.

Enter Donna Berzatto, a woman who came to feel like a second mom to you. It's not that she replaced your mom, no one could ever replace her, but she was the only real mother figure you knew for a time in your life. Who took you in as her own when your mother needed a new babysitter, and not just you but integrated your mom into the family as well, when she was spared the time off from nursing. Donna Berzatto who never sent you home empty-handed, and always made enough food for you and your mom to last throughout the week, just so your mother wouldn’t have to worry about fitting grocery shopping into her already hectic schedule. Donna Berzatto who, even when you were old enough to no longer need a babysitter, would send Carmy across the street to fetch you for family dinner, or even just invite you over because she thought you needed company.

Now that you were thinking about it, it seemed like you were more friends with his mom than you ever were with Carmen Berzatto. But then that would be a lie wouldn’t it?

You and Carmen Berzatto were friends due to circumstance, maybe even best friends. You weren’t just friends at his house, but you were school friends, you were everywhere friends. He really was your only true friend, of course, you had school friends, but that’s just what they were. You saw them Monday through Friday for a mandatory education, never an hour before school started or a minute after the final bell. Which didn’t necessarily bother you, but sometimes you longed for a weekend invitation to hang out, not that it ever came. And it wasn’t like you were shunned or unpopular in school, you were just average, you didn’t see a point in making friends with people you weren’t actually interested in befriending.

That’s what made Carmy so different, yes maybe you were only introduced due to circumstances but that didn’t stop the two of you from latching onto each other for dear life. Your mom always wondered how you two even established the friendship you did, with both of you being shy and never feeling the need to go out of your way to make friends. Include the fact that you had been neighbors practically your whole lives and never once taken an interest in each other aside from shy waves and curious childlike staring when either of you would be outside.

Your relationship with Carmen progressed as any childlike relationship would, you befriended each other, had your incessant petty arguments and fights, nothing ever serious enough to actually cause damage just childish antics. And it continued to progress through middle school and high school, the two of you were each other’s person, you just understood each other, the two of you let the other understand you, and wanted to be understood by each other.

You could also recall what you explain as a minute change in your friendship. As Senior year approached and you and Carmy continued to grow into yourselves, you developed a slight crush on the boy you had grown up with. It obviously wasn’t as small as you thought it was if you were standing in front of his childhood home giving yourself a pep talk just to ring the damn doorbell though was it?

The unsolicited card and wrapped present weighed heavy in your tote bag, as your breath was made visible by the chilly Chicago weather.

It was Christmas and for all intents and purposes you had been planning on mailing the present to Carmen’s New York address, but after visiting The Beef on your way back into town Mikey and Richie had let it slip that indeed the infamous Berzatto sibling would be gracing everyone with his presence this holiday season.

It was moments like these you wished you had picked up on the Berzatto family’s horrible smoking habit, thankfully your mom had taught you just how vital having functioning lungs was.

Your head shot up as the sound of loud rambunctious voices drew your attention to the front door opening and closing revealing a face you were all too familiar with and actually relieved to see. The oldest Berzatto brother stood on the porch, hands on his hips as he gave you a goofy smile. You could feel your lips stretching into a smile of your own, the infectious aura that Michael Berzatto exuded doing wonders to calm your racing mind.

“I know you didn’t come all this way just to stand outside staring at my family home like a fucking weirdo Baby.” Mikey’s smile grew in size as he teased you.

You rolled your eyes at the childhood nickname you wish hadn’t stuck as Mikey opened his arms to wrap you in one of his signature hugs. The two of you stood on the porch embracing each other for what felt like hours, you needed this hug as much as he needed it, you knew it and Mikey did too. That was the thing about you and Mikey although not blood-related it was as if your souls knew each other in a past life. Of the Berzatto siblings, Mikey was the last sibling you developed a relationship with. Growing up he was always just Carmy’s older brother but as you grew up surrounded by him, he became your surrogate older brother as well. And when Carmy dashed off to pursue his culinary dreams in New York, you and Mikey grew even closer.

You stepped back from the embrace, your eyes finding Mikey’s as he looked at you with a knowing glint in his eyes. “You not standing out here cause of a certain Chef in that house are ya?” Mikey asked, smirking down at you.

You chuckled “The only reason I come around anymore is for Mama Donna.” You joked doing a poor job to convince Mikey.

He nodded, tossing his head back with a laugh, “You were always a shit liar Baby. Carmy’s an idiot, don't let him ruin your Christmas.”

You let out a sigh head resting against Mikey’s chest as you tried to let his words soothe you even more, “He’s not ruining it, you just know things have been kind of stilted between us, and I don’t know this whole situation just feels awkward.”

You raised your head to look at Mikey again, “It’s awkward right? Am I making things awkward? I don’t wanna ruin Christmas Mikey, I know how your mom is and I know how Carmy is, I don’t wanna ambush him.”

The worry in your voice was evident as Mikey stood there listening to your ranting. His hand reached out as he used his thumb to massage away the frown between your eyebrows. “Calm down Baby, you know Ma is expecting you, and she wouldn’t take it well if you missed Christmas. She looks forward to seeing you every year, you give her a piece of Carmy when he can’t be fucking asked to come home and visit.” His hand moved down to cup the side of your neck rubbing soothing circles where his thumb rested, “Do it for Ma okay? Let Carmy be fucking wonder boy Carmy a’ight.”

You laughed nodding your head as best as you could with Mikey’s hand holding it, he smiled giving you one last hug before dropping his hand to grab your wrist and tug you into the house. You stopped him by placing a hand on his arm that was connected to yours.

“Hold on Mikey, I got you something.” You moved to start rummaging through your tote bag stalling because you were too nervous for his reaction to the present.

“Awe you didn’t have to get me nothing.” You turned back to him with the present in your hands as he held his own hands over his heart mockingly. You knew Mikey didn’t do well when it came to sentimental things and the best you would get out of him was a joke as opposed to anything else.

You laughed holding the rectangular wrapped present out to him, “I wanted to Mikey, don’t think of this as a gift, think of it uhh…as a show of appreciation yeah?” You nodded feeling your face heat up as you dropped your head so he couldn’t see how unsure you were about the gift.

He smiled, finding your shyness endearing before tearing into the neatly wrapped paper and revealing a frame, his hands engulfing it from end to end. He smiled looking at it before you saw confusion etch across his face, “This is great Baby, yeah but uh what the fuck am I looking at?”

You shove his shoulder before laughing at him and grabbing the frame out of his hands but holding it in front of your chest so he could still see its contents, “It's a trademark certification you dumbass, can’t you fucking read Mikey.” You joked to try and underestimate how big of a gift this was.

Mikey’s brows furrowed before he snatched the frame out of your hands to get a better look at the certificate sitting behind the glass, eyes snapping back up to your face with a look you couldn’t read. You shuffled your feet feeling like you overstepped a boundary you didn’t even know was between you and Mikey, “Don’t worry though I-I, put it in your name, it’s not like I trademarked it for myself or anything. I just know how much this means to you and I, I know shit has been tough lately and I’m sorry if you feel like I stepped on your toes but…Mikey, you deserve good things too okay?” You hadn’t meant to go on a rant, but you could feel the apprehension leaving you as you became passionate in every word you spoke.

“You deserve to be fucking happy Mikey, and I, I want you to know I fucking believe in you and I’m always in your corner. If it's-” You were cut off by Mikey clearing his throat, causing your eyes to snap back up to his, all the emotions he didn’t know how to translate into words swirling in his brown eyes, a small smile resting on his lips.

“Mikey-,” Before you could get another word out you were once again trapped in his comforting embrace, this hug conveying something completely different from the earlier one you shared. Mikey’s head tucked into your neck as you felt his uneasy breathing through your hands clutched around him. Mikey wasn’t the type to get emotional in front of other people, and feeling a tear of his smear against your cheek as he raised his head from your neck and settled his bearded cheek against yours, you weren’t sure if you had done the right thing by giving him the gift or not.

The two of you stood in silence as you allowed Mikey his moment, not wanting to make him feel insecure about you being present while he was being emotional. When he finally pulled away you could see the leftover sheen in his eyes. He tucked the framed certificate under his arm as both his hands reached up to grab your face in both of his hands, eyes finding yours, a whispered “thank you, baby,” leaving his lips as he placed a kiss on your forehead before he grabbed the frame again and wrapped you in another hug.

His head rested atop yours as your face rested against his chest, ear pressed against his beating heart. You lied, you thought the last hug was different, but no it was this hug that was different, while the second hug you shared in the span of 20 minutes was a hug of love and gratitude. This hug felt heavier, like there were things Mikey wanted to tell you but couldn’t, things he only felt he could convey through a hug, things you weren’t sure if you wanted to question or not.

It had been almost 20 minutes since Michael had escaped the house to do whatever the fuck it was he was doing outside. Carmy didn’t know and in all honesty he didn’t actually give a shit either, too busy helping Donna out in the kitchen to try to give any thoughts to whatever had grabbed Mikey’s attention.

He was focused in the corner of the kitchen making Tiff Sprite to help alleviate her nausea symptoms. Anyone else would have done their best to block out the rambunctious noises going on throughout the house, not Carmy though, the chaos fueled him, it grounded him. If the house was quiet it would have been too much for him, to be alone with his own thoughts ping-ponging around in his head, waiting for a chance to drown him. So if he had to listen to his mom list a plethora of things he needed to make sure happened for Christmas dinner to go off without a hitch while he was making Sprite from scratch, he welcomed it.

He finished his concoction just in time for Richie to walk through the kitchen, the older man trying to figure out how the fuck it was even possible to make Sprite from scratch. Gratefully taking the glass Carmy had offered to him, marveling at the carbonated drink in his hand.

Carmy nodded in his direction, “Yo Cousin, where the fuck is Mikey. He just fucking disappeared.” Carmy’s head swiveled around the kitchen double checking whether his brother was there or not, coming up empty in his search. Richie glanced up before settling his eyes back on the drink in his hand still doing the mental math to wrap his head around what the fuck Carmy just made.

Richie jutted his head in the direction of the front door, “Outside talking to Baby.” His eyes finally focused on Carmy’s in time to see the frown grace the younger man’s face, his eyebrows pinching together in agitation, annoyed that his brother was on a phone call rather than inside. Though that’s what Carmy told himself subconsciously he knew he was just annoyed at the fact that Mikey was even talking to you at all. Carmy didn’t think he was possessive but as you and Mikey grew closer through the years, he couldn’t help but feel miffed about the ever growing friendship between the two of you. You and your friendship with Carmy was the first thing in his life that he felt like was actually his and his alone.

It’s funny really for Carmy to think he has any sort of claim over you, or like the two of you were even really friends anymore. When he left Chicago to pursue his culinary dreams, he left you behind to, essentially ghosting the one real friend he did have. It’s not like he meant to, you two just went your separate ways after graduation, and he wasn’t even sure if there even was an “Us” when it came to the two of you anymore. If that was the case the only person he had to blame was himself, it was no fault of yours that your friendship had hit a plateau, Carmy hadn’t responded to a text of yours in years, and the fact that you still texted him to this day caused a slight pain in his chest as he stood in the middle of his mother’s kitchen, frown still etched into his features.

“He’s outside on the phone with Baby?” Carmy questioned the ache in his chest doing nothing to alleviate his irritation. It was Richie’s turn to frown reciprocating the same confused look Camry wore.

“What - No dickhead, he’s talking to Baby, like she’s right in fucking front of him and shit.” Richie swatted the side of Carmy’s head like a child. “Your moms invites her to every holiday, Cousin, and she comes every time.” Richie knew the last bit wasn’t necessary but felt Carmy rightfully deserved it, all anyone wanted from the youngest Berzatto was a visit.

“Dudes been out there for fucking ever though, those to idiots just standing outside like a bunch of fucking jackoffs.” Richie left the kitchen not waiting for Carmy to follow him before heading to the front door. He stopped moving the curtain on one of the side windows to spot two of the people he considered family. He let out a low whistle nudging Carmy’s shoulder who had finally joined his side nodding his head to the window.

“Get a load of these fucking losers hugging on the porch like they’re in some fucking Hallmark movie or some shit.” Richie laughed pointing at you and Mikey through the window. Carmy leaned closer to get a peak at what Richie was going on about.

Carmy hated to admit it, but Richie was right, the too of you looked like the happy couple who just saved a small town’s Christmas or whatever the fuck Hallmark movies were about. Mikey had finally separated himself from you long enough for Carmy to take in your features. He’d be lying if he said the years apart made him forget what you looked like. You were still the same girl he left in Chicago all those years ago except the wand of maturity had touched you, and in his opinion he thought you looked more beautiful than you had in high school.

Carmy was never one to pay too much attention to a woman’s features, and not because he didn’t care, it's just that he didn’t think it mattered. But as he drank in your form he learned in that exact moment why a woman might want people to notice the small things. Like the haircut you were sporting that Carmy felt shaped your face well, not that he knew shit about stuff like that, but he could appreciate art when he saw it. The outfit you picked out doing wonders to compliment your tall form and accentuate your legs. Carmy could look at you all day, scratch that he wanted to look at you all day.

He was torn from his reverie as Richie narrated the scene happening in front of them, “Aw look at these fuckers lookin all in love an shit.” He joked watching as Mikey slung his arm around you and led you towards the door, what looked to be a frame held in his other hand. The two of you walked side by side, your arm wrapped around his torso, hugging him into your side, Mikey’s head leaning slightly down to whisper something in your ear a small smile gracing your face as Mikey pressed his lips onto your temple lingering there for what Carmen swore was forever.

The tightness in his chest intensified tenfold as the realization of just how close you and Mikey had become sank into him. He didn’t know how to feel, his brain not even allowing any emotions to process, saving himself from any conclusions he might come to from a split second interaction.

Carmy left, he chose his path, he knew this, and he had no regrets he would pursue his dream every time the opportunity was presented. He just wished that, maybe if he held onto you as tightly as you still held onto him, it would’ve been him greeting you on the sidewalk on Christmas Day, being the sole object of your attention holding you close to his longing body. He knew overall the decisions he made regarding you were wrong, while he ignored your daily text and calls enough times for you to just resort to monthly check ins asking him about his endeavors and congratulations as you heard about his achievements in the culinary industry, he knew deep down that Mikey answered every text and call you sent his way, made it his mission to connect with you anytime you were back in Chicago.

Carmy couldn’t admit it to himself but deep down he knew his family saw spending time with you as a way to stay connected to him. You were the closest thing any of them still had to Carmy, and even though he had essentially cut you off from his life, his family loved you too much to allow Carmy’s shortcomings to affect their relationship with you.

He was broken from the recesses of his mind as Richie threw the door open stepping over the threshold raising his hands in the air to welcome you and Mikey into the house. The glass of Sprite still clutched in his left hand, a broad smile spread across his face as you left Mikey’s hold to greet Richie eyes not having spotted Carmy who was hidden behind Richie’s small frame.

Carmy’s first up close look at you in years were your hands wrapped around Richie’s torso as he pulled you into a hug, rocking the two of you back and forth, Richie let you go quickly turning his body back into the house “A’ight fuckers you can all stop pretending you care so much about Carmy and his little rat in the chef hat bullshit. We got the real deal here now, Baby's gracing us with her journalist presence.”

Carmy’s brows furrowed at Richie’s dig only slightly offended about being compared to a fictional character named after pasta, too caught up in allowing the sound of your laugh to grace his ears for the first time in what felt like forever. Mikey had finally caught up to you standing behind you with a hand placed on your shoulder, Carmy watched as his brother’s hand glided up and down your arm before giving your bicep a slight squeeze and nodding his head in Carmy’s direction.

If Carmy was being honest it was becoming increasingly difficult to quiet his mind that was eagerly trying to piece everything together. From yours and Mikey's prolonged moment on the porch, to the kiss he placed on your temple, add in Richie’s jokes and the almost constant physical contact between you and Mikey and Carmy was sure he figured shit out.

You looked to where Mikey motioned his head finally noticing Carmy’s figure standing there while Richie ran off towards the stairs after his impromptu introduction. Looking at Carmy was like being in a Time Machine, nothing had drastically changed, he looked more exhausted than what you remembered. But overall he was the same Carmy you parted ways with all those years ago.

A small smile graced your lips as you took him in, he was still your Carmy appearance wise, and right now for you that was all that mattered. You lifted your hand in a small wave gaining his attention, your smile growing wider as your eyes locked with his.

The clearing of a throat broke you from your thoughts, Mikey’s hand giving your shoulder a squeeze as he walked you two into the house before shutting the door behind him. As he finished he stood in front of you so that Carmy was partially covered from view by each brother in your line of vision though your focus was taken up by the eldest. He gave you a reassuring smile before gently knocking his fist against your chin and presumably turning to leave you and Carmy alone.

As Mikey walked past Carmy he gave him his signature grin and a wink before patting his shoulder as left to check on Donna in the kitchen and mingle with the other guests.

Carmy’s face was still set in the same frown it had been in when he first asked Richie where Mikey ran off to. You took a deep breath to settle your nerves before taking a step to close the gap between you, your hand reached out to gently squeeze Carmy’s arm though stopping in midair as you watched him subtly flinch. Your smile faltered, your hand finding its rightful place at your side. You looked up to see the apology in Carmy’s eyes, you did your best to brush the moment off, maybe you came on too strong, maybe it wasn’t fair that you were still pushing for a friendship when Carmy had given you all the reasons to stop trying, maybe the Carmy in front of you was a different Carmy to the one you used to know. Maybe the life where it was you and Carmy had finally taken its last breath and you were just too clingy and desperate to realize.

You cleared your throat trying to alleviate the lump forming from the thoughts that were racing through your brain. The small placating smile on your face there to stop you from having a full breakdown in the Berzatto’s foyer. “Its good to see you Carmen, I hope New York is treating you well.” You lips wrapped around the generic greeting forcing yourself not to say anything you might regret.

Carmy nodded his head rapidly accepting your lackluster words, his lips parting and closing all in the same breath. The man obviously had nothing to say to you, and maybe you just had to accept that. You stayed a moment longer cursing yourself for doing so as the air between you two filled with palpable tension.

“Baby, is that you? My goodness you look fucking gorgeous.” Half of Donna’s body had popped out of the kitchen finally gaining a spare moment to greet you. Her words mumbled through the cigarette between her lips, a ladle held in her right hand while the left was occupied by tongs. Her apron covered in all sorts of sauces and whatever the hell else your brain couldn’t even begin to discern.

You laughed half in amusement and half in relief, you weren’t sure how much longer you could stand there as Carmy burned holes in your body. You waved at Donna quickly, beginning to head towards her to join her in the kitchen. It wasn’t your first choice as an escape from Carmen but you’d rather try and help Donna finish preparing Christmas dinner than be around Carmy for another minute.

Donna waved the tongs in Carmy’s direction, “Jesus fucking Christ Carmen, take the girls bag and coat. Don’t just fuckin stand there.” She huffed eyes glaring the longer Carmen stayed glued to the spot. You handed him your tote as soon as his arm shot out and began hastily shimmying out of your jacket. You gave him a soft smile before laying the jacket on his awaiting arm.

You began to leave the foyer as Donna motioned for you to follow her, mentally preparing yourself for what you were about to walk into. A sudden thought occurred causing you to gently grip Carmy’s bicep as you were walking past him, “I uh, I actually bought you a Christmas present. So um, find me later yeah?” You smiled tilting your head slightly in questioning.

Carmen Berzatto graced you with a small smile, nodding back in agreement as you sent him one final nod and turned to enter the kitchen. The first positive emotion he granted you since you walked back into his life 30 minutes ago.

next chapter ↣

a/n: this is my first fic that i’m publishing and i genuinely have no clue what the fuck any of this is, : ) but nonetheless hope you all enjoy! or don’t i’m just a stranger on the internet. constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated though. please like, comment, reblog if this behemoth tickles your fancy!

also i write for fun/hobby and i'm such an inconsistent bitch so don't get your hopes too high, but this will potentially be a series idk yet though lol.