#plus I need to see where this goes
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camellcat · 4 months ago
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gahh I just got to the weight of the world but ohh I love willow taking charge when buffy is out. she's buffy's second in command!! her best friend!!!!
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exampartners · 25 days ago
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everytime someone depicts stollen cookie as a horrible and irredeemable person an angel loses its wings and is brutally mutilated
#stollen cookie#i blame this on poor media comprehension and internalized fandom misogyny#because WHY#of all the cookies you could direct your rage towards you pick... the fledgling train girl who has a hard time with her words#people keep talking about her as if shes this horrible person when at MOST shes just overeager bossy and very blunt#she is literally just a girl??!!!!! what why is she so hated on#people saying her partnership with scc is toxic like one wrong word against him would completely vaporize him into mist#its literally been shown in the cutscenes that scc learns to understand the intent under her words even when she doesnt say it outright#to the point where hes able to correctly translate what she means to other people. and its why as time goes on hes not bothered by her words#he reacts very happily to some of the seemingly plain things she says because he knows what she really means#plus stollen is straight up just a good person?? its emphasized so much in the story that the right people can see her good and kind heart#she watches out for people and is observant to their needs?? and offers her own gloves because she thinks peppernut is cold??#she doesnt even need to be told when someone needs something#shes just a girl ☹️ she is learning and working on herself why do people make her out to be so mean#she is the epitome of teenage girl#by the way no hate to scc i love strawberry cream hes a sweetheart#its just that one scene of him accidentally overhearing her convo w pinehog gets misconstrued a LOT#like people keep forgetting that it was a misunderstanding and stollen said she didnt want to be partners with him#because she thought he wouldn't like her. not because she didnt like him#she literally says this part OUT LOUD to pinehog like it wasn't an internal secret thought or anything she straight up admits her insecurity#and people with selective reading STILL call her a backstabber and accuse her of talking smack behind scc's back like WHAT#THERE ARE COOKIES WHO HAVE ERADICATED CIVILIZATIONS#AND YOU HATE STOLLEN COOKIE#rant
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orcelito · 1 month ago
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So the funny thing about my veilguard game is that I'm almost definitely overleveled. I just went and fought the blighted dragons in the wetlands, and... eh. Before this id already fought and killed the revenant dragon in the crossroads, which was a bit of a challenge. I even needed to use 2 potions for it. But I still killed it no problem. The wetlands blighted dragons were pretty easy in comparison.... though I Will say, fighting *two* dragons at once was a fun, unexpected surprise. Kept me on my toes a bit!! I still didn't need to use any of my potions, though
#speculation nation#fanny plays dav#datv spoilers/#i have 5 potion slots but ive got a fuckin freakishly high defense#for a rogue especially. like 435 or smth?? i forget exactly what it is but definitely over 400#i already killed the demon-possessed dragon in the crypts. so i got the 200 defense armor#plus a +30 defense enchantment. plus a really good helmet. plus a +10% defense enchantment.#PLUS that one defense ring fully maxed out so it's giving me another +30 defense and i think another +10%??#plus protecting me from taking more than a quarter of my health in a single hit.#so i may be a melee rogue with questionable dodging skills who never fuckin parries. but im a fuckin Tank of a rogue.#and ive got that pilfer skill still that i tend to default to before using potions. or have a mage heal me.#so i rarely need to use potions. still like keeping the extra slots there tho. just in case.#im also still using the toothpick dagger. a bleeding build. got that ring thing that adds to it too.#and my other sword is the super beefed up necrotic sword. bc i love it. and im a necrotic build too.#so im just throwing around necrosis and bleeding like it's nobody's business.#my ability damage isnt the best since that's the downside of that armor. but i ALSO have that talisman from mythal#that does extra damage for low health enemies (counting any average enemy as low health) so like. im still wrecking shop.#i also suck ass a little bit so i'll be out there getting knocked on my ass in really embarrassing ways.#but it's ok i have a wonderfully high defense. i can survive Anything.#very effective build. i jab them with my swords a few times. make sure i dont die. and then enemies just have a habit of dying on their own#(since both necrosis and bleeding are damage over time. and i can do up to like. 11 bleeding slots i think. they bleed a LOT)#though it might even be TOO effective... nice to have a surety in my abilities but im also like#things have a habit of dying so quickly when i fight them... :( no i wont lessen the effectiveness of my build tho fuck that#im just looking forward to my next game where i play a mage. probably still gonna be pretty melee. but we'll see how that goes.#i also maybe wanna play a grey warden too. and romance davrin. for the funsies...#but for now. the most badass short little elf taking heavy fucking hits as they jab enemies with this tiny lil dagger#and then suddenly the enemies are dead! imagine that lol#tho it does create a bit of a challenge if things are resistant to necrotic or immune to bleeding.#like i fought that Zara lady today and realized it was taking a lot longer than normal bc my bleeding wasnt Working on her#which makes sense. given the blood mage thing. oh well i still got her >:]
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sadgirlautumn · 3 months ago
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I’m currently very upset about the American healthcare system. Like I hope they know that they are making people actively sicker 🫶
#don’t read the tags if you don’t like skin related stuff although I’m not going into major detail but I felt like I should warn people an#anyway*#autumn rambles#so basically I had a regurlar cyst on my lower back which isn’t abnormal for me and wasn’t causing me any pain until like a week ago when I#say down on my bed but I did it in a way that I think made this minor cyst burst inside my skin and now it’s definitely infected because#the skin around it is swollen and red but my cat also recently got put down so I felt like such a burden that I didn’t want to tell my#parents but eventually the pain got so bad I caved and told my mom on Sunday night and today she called to try and figure out if I could go#to my primary care this week but since I haven’t been in three years (which I know sounds bad but I see my other two doctor every six#months PLUS I have my double infusion every month so I’m fucking burnt out on seeing doctors so yeah I’m not going to go to my yearly#appointment like I’m supposed to because I’m fucking tired of it PLUS my primary care goes through doctors like crazy and I was tired of#having to explain my life story every time I go to get a regular check up)#but anyway since it’s been 3 years I have to fill out a new patient form in their office before they can even let me know if they have an#appointment available this week like how fucked is that??? why can’t I fill it out before my appointment???#also they had the audacity to say to go to urgent care when the whole reason I called my doctors office is because my info is all there in#the system where as the urgent care people are likely going to have no access to my medical history and they won’t know anything about my#chronic conditions#I’m just so mad because the cyst hurts so fucking bad right now#I had to put a bandaid on it because it’s slightly beginning to burst and I’m terrified of taking the bandaid off#I’m just so torn on what I want to do#like I need to suck it up and go to urgent care but we need the car to get there and my dad has plans tomorrow night and Wednesday is#thanksgiving prep and I hate feeling like this huge burden#it’s the middle of the night rn so I can’t do anything about it and I’m just sad#like I should have stopped being a baby and went after supper but the cyst didn’t hurt as bad then
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supercantaloupe · 5 months ago
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mfw i ask maestro if he needs me at rehearsal on tuesday and he responds by telling me i'm wonderful, i'm always watching and listening, play better than a principal, etc
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ajdrawshq · 1 year ago
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listening to octopath music and drawing and writing stuff for my octopath pmd au so The Horrors(tm) dont get me
#i am getting WAY too in depth with these character profiles but if i dont hyperfocus on it i will implode .#like. we got species (including fusions/variants) types (may differ due to species) (plus an extra type bc of mixing in octopath mechanics)#also bc they can have up to 3 types at once i calculated everyones weaknesses and resistances which is actually kinda fun w tri-typed mons#also movesets up to 9 moves including 8 from their species(es.?) and 1 from their extra type . bc octopath#and abilities which everyone can have up to 2 of bc of how the older pmd games worked#tho each start with one and gain one in a similar way to octopath which allows for more mismatching#and also making it easier to choose fitting abilities for everyone they otherwise woildnt have access to#their IQ groups (tho. i am mildly tempted to scrap that and make my own groups. no yeah thats my next task now)#held items and general/single use items theyd most likely have#and any other individual notes i have on them 👍 like therion being unable to evolve further bc part of his lineage is a 2 stage evo#ohhh i also need to note where everyone comes from. except maybe therion bc we dont know his hometown at all#thats gonna be kinda hard bc each continent has pretty much all the biomes but psmd changed that up a bit..... hm....#and the sand continent is straight up from psmd only unlike the rest so i need to check if theres anything besides deserts there#bc i could theoretically put 2 travellers per continent and go from there.. OH wait that works hold on. im a genius#maybe i need to replay psmd again and see.. i gotta be at least partway in my current playthrough it camt be too hard#id like to mimic where everyone starts out as much as i can.. tho i cant remember if theres a livable tundra area in pmd#still gotta do those iq groups tho . that goes first#octotag
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ichigosoju · 9 months ago
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🍪🥛
#out of sight out of mind....#im not gonna check his blogs every day from here on out#and i hid/archived our chat so i dont have to see it when i open the messaging app#i do have some kind of 'fomo' lol bc i dont wanna miss out on any potential glimpse into his mind or days#esp now when he doesnt tell me anything anymore. idk anything abt what goes on with him#but .. i am allowing and letting him control my life#i obsessively check my phone and refresh his blogs ALL day#it's extremely unhealthy and pathetic and i know this#it's just hard to stop bc i genuinely... love him sm#plus he told me he wanted me for real so he made me not only dream of a life i thought wasnt possible for me#but also WANT it. i only want him and to live with him and be his. that's all i want but he just cut me off out of nowhere lol#and im still hung up on it... i dont want my boring reality. current nor future. i just want the reality where im with him which he made me#think was smth i could have one day soon.#but anyway. if his feelings changed that's how it is. it's not even his fault it's just how things work in life#even if i dont want to accept it i have to. i cant keep living in this limbo. i try to talk to him but he's a wall so that's a No.#so i cant let him control my life and waste away all my days on him#i need to stop checking his blogs and our chat. that's the first step#im still gonna allow myself to think of him and daydream and fantasize. but that will have to stop soon too#then i have to focus on doing my assignments and read books and go to the gym#things that will help me get realistically where i want in my current reality#i want to finish highschool and then apply for a preschool or library program#and hopefully the plan is to get a student housing apartment so i can move out finally and live on my own and study#then when i finish i'll look for a job as either of those things. and a place to live (which is super fkn hard in these modern chaos times)#even if i have to live my life all alone... i want to be as comfortable as i can at least#i can live in my own row house and have pets and work and read and play games and watch shows#and see and talk to my mom#i mean hopefullyyyy i'll be able to try to make at least some shallow connections so i have ppl to hang out with#i can always hope to meet someone who'll fall in love with me but im not counting on it#ugh.. bc as it is now#i dont do ANYTHING but be on my phone
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hoperays-song · 2 years ago
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Johnny’s Fight Scene
***Potential TW: mentions of past injuries, abuse (just say the word once), fighting, and questionable fighting tactics.***
For those of you who might not know, I was in martial arts for several years growing up. In fact that’s where I met my girlfriend! I was in the class for numerous hours a week for over five years, so the things I learned there definitely stuck with me. 
And one of those things that I learned immediately jumped out at me as I was rewatching Sing 2 with said girlfriend and their younger brother who was in the class with us. Johnny appears to use a mental method of losing your inhibitions during a fight, something we called flipping the switch, in his fight with Klaus.
Now, this technique is kind of odd to describe. It involves you essentially shutting off all your thoughts and switching into fight or flight mode (we were trained to go immediately into the fight aspect). You stop thinking. Your mind goes blank. All that matters is getting out of this situation and giving your attacker as much hell as they just gave you.
And when I say you stop thinking, I do literally mean that. I once broke a bone during sparring with someone who had “flipped the switch” (that was not the other student’s fault but our teacher’s, I should not have been allowed to fight). And the person who did that? Amazingly sweet guy. Literally like a big brother to almost everyone. Which just shows that this flipping of a switch method is extremely effective since it bases itself off people’s survival instincts. 
Now, why would I and my family think that that is what Johnny did during his Sing 2 fight? Because it’s Johnny. We’ve seen this kid trapped in a flooding building, was in a room with angry gang members who seemed pretty chill with murder, at active bank heists, and run from people who want him dead. And yes, he did break his skateboard out of frustration after weeks of literal abuse, but we also see him immediately regret that action. In no other scenario do we see him act on a fight instinct. Ever. Hell, even that skateboard scene started with him running away from what was happening. Johnny’s first instinct isn’t to fight, it’s to run. 
So why would this suddenly change? Why would the kid who had been solely on the defensive the entirety of the fight before that point just change to extremely offensive in a second? Well, we know that Johnny likely is trained to fight. His father boxes for fun, and every other member of his family has proved themselves to be extremely good at fighting as well (to the point they can easily take out professional bodyguards). And despite it being a very poor excuse for a gang, Johnny was still in a gang. He knows how to protect himself. And judging by his reaction to being told he has a fight scene, not only is he likely good at it, but he enjoys it.
But the point stands that he didn’t fight back until he looked back up towards the others. Which actually just further proves to me that he used the “flip the switch” method. That technique is harder for some people to learn than others, especially if they don’t like hurting people or are worried about hurting people. That anxiety can cause someone to not fight back in dangerous situations as it essentially stops that survival instinct I was talking about earlier. 
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To get around this in training, our teacher would either physically place one of the younger kids a few feet behind us or tell us that they were in danger (though that was typically after the physical method had been used several times), trying to get protective instincts to come into play. And speaking as someone who had to be told this a ton as I don’t like hurting people, it works insanely well. Like scarily so. And I imagine it would work for Johnny too. We see just how family oriented this kid is. His dad and uncles are extremely important to him. His theatre family is extremely important to him. He cares a lot about them. He’s willing to do just about anything for them, no hesitation.
And if he was to tell himself during a fight that he had to protect them, that they were in danger, it’s likely that flipping of a switch would be pretty much instinctual (think of all those references to (insert family member)’s love being a powerful force to be reckoned with).
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However, it is important to point out that Johnny was still restraining himself during that fight scene. We see Johnny throughout both movies perform acts of pretty extreme strength (ie. lifting giant slabs of concrete with a basic pulley in Sing 1). The fact that the most destruction he causes during that scene is the breaking of his opponents staff shows the restraint that Johnny was using, despite being in a defensive mindset. 
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This does speak more on Johnny’s character than anything, as he was able to disarm his opponent in a hyperfocused state, especially since he still has to blink himself out of it at the end and be surprised when the scene was over. He genuinely forgot what was going on and was focused on protecting himself and his loved ones. He forgot he was performing. And yet he still managed to avoid seriously harming his opponent. 
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That amount of control is insanely hard to come by. It takes years and years of training (the shortest amount of time I saw was 4 years) to be in a flip the switch mindset and still be able to subconsciously access the situation. Johnny is a skilled fighter for sure, with an insane amount of control in his techniques.
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TLDR Conclusion: 
Johnny used a trick taught in some martial arts classes called “flipping the switch” which involves tapping into a person's survival instincts and essentially only focusing on getting away from/hurting your attacker back during his Sing 2 performance. This shows how skilled he is as it is extremely hard to do damage control subconsciously (ie. Johnny not actually hurting his opponent and only breaking the staff), and that he was likely trained in self defense for years.
TLDR Evidence:
- The look back at family and friends is often used to get your brain into a protective mindset.
- Flipping the switch involves instantly going onto the offensive, which we see Johnny do after behaving purely defensively in the past.
- Johnny would likely know this trick as we know he at least knows how to fight.
- The fact he seems surprised at the audience at the end of his scene is similar to what it’s like coming out of a “flip the switch’ mindset, you’re shocked by reality or where you are.
- Johnny is very protective of loved ones, as seen with him helping Mrs Crawly and Rosita during the escape, as well as never turning in his family to the police despite not agreeing with the gang.
- Johnny’s typical first reaction in dangerous situations is flight (as seen by him running from the classroom before), so the sudden switch would have to have some motivation behind it.
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that-tall-queer-bassist · 1 year ago
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Fic Rec Friday!
This week's fic rec is If The Universe Was Merciful by bloop_im_a_frog_now (@bloop-im-a-frog-now)
First of all, YES. Angsty and amazing in it. I am also SO looking forward to learning what the tag "Jellie is an Eldritch Being" means :eyes:
And! If i'm not mistaken, the second chapter is out today! YAY!
It's a very good read, very much recommend ^-^
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phoenixiancrystallist · 2 years ago
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Month 3, day 7, got the nose done and since the guide helped a ton with that (and fixing some weirdness in the eyebrows), I'm gonna try animating the eyes and mouth at the same time and see if I can get them to agree with me. If they don't, it's no big deal; I'll just go back to animating one facial feature at a time :)
#the great artscapade of 2023#art#my art#my animation#walk cycle#oc: mizu#I've only gone one day not playing Forspoken and already I miss having Frey and Cuff being snarky assholes at each other ):#I'll have time to play tomorrow (in theory) but I miss them anyway ):#I should hurry up and beat the game so I can go lurking in the subreddit and other places with Forspoken love and appreciation#I need to beat it first so I don't accidentally spoiler myself again#because if I understood that one spoiler right I'm sad I won't get the full impact of the reveal scene#but I'm really hoping I misinterpreted the spoiler and can still be fully surprised#bc it was just a picture and a name#unfortunately there were enough context clues I'm pretty sure the conclusion I came to with that one glance is the correct conclusion#which makes me sad because that would have been one hell of a plot twist to get blindsided by#as it is I'm looking for clues and foreshadowing and man oh man let me tell you#if I'm not wrong and I read the context clues right and I'm not misinterpreting everything the game goes BONKERS with the obfuscation#because I can see the spoiler coming if it's actually what's going to happen but it's the kind of ''I can see it coming'' where it's like#I'm watching the shadow of an invisible hawk dive-bombing me from my blind spot#plus I'm actually like this close to writing fix-it fic for how I expect the reveal to play out just for some catharsis about it XD#but I don't actually know! and that's really the worst thing about spoilers! it's not knowing what happens that makes spoilers suck#it's knowing what's going to happen but not knowing what leads up to it and driving myself frantic looking for the foreshadowing!
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thetangibleghost · 4 months ago
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"give me a beer, a lullaby, and a word in my ear" -guy at a speed dating event in my dream
#dream log#also had a dream that this green alien came up to me on the street and like wanted me to pick it up and take it somewhere#the like video game objective changed to#changed to go home#but i didnt know where that was so i just started running#but as i. running the alien is like bouncing and it starts blushing#and later when i put in down to kind ageg my bearings its like super wet#between the legs and im like. oh man i think i need to fuck this thing#and i know theirs a game mechannic where you can have sex in bushes and stiff but im like 'no ill just go home first' but when i pick the#alien back up i get a 'failed objective' notification cause i never made it home i guess :(#and another dream. i was back in middle school math. there was a seat that was right infront of and right next to two people i was friends#with plus super close to my crush (other side of my friend) and there was a guy sitting there#but he was like. literally a fly. so i snapped and he just dropped dead.#and i got to sit there. my friend then was like “see this?” and pointed to her lip#and i wa slike “yeah” even though i didnt see anything#and she was like “you can hide a lot of your burdens but you cant hide a hickey” and i was like. man. am i supposed to do somehting sbout#that? idk im pretty sure this is a dream. did she actually say this to me before? am i supposed to do somehting now?“. but then the dream#ended#THEN these are out of order but then i had a dream i was in some sort of summer camp thing? people kept going home. my friend M. went home#home and left me a bunch of her clothes. one of the guys asked some sort of question about sleeping with him. and i was like “no? lol.”#then i invited a different guy to come watch me change and that first guy was i guess also in the room and was like “you know people can se#you through the window right?“ and i was like ”duh. its ohio. thats kinda the point.“#so. whatever that one means.#THEN last one THEN my cousin drove me to an abandoned trailer to explore and it had “too lo” or something spray painted on it or somehting#so then he finished the word to say “too long” or somehting of that nature. and then spray panted the handle of the door blue#and we went in side but the inside was all done up? like really fucking fancy#the kitched was completely lainted in this van gogh style and my cousin goes “this isnt haunted... its fixed up.”#so wel left. i think be showed me something else before that too but i dont remember#in the summer camp one i spent a long time trying to find these snake/pomegranate earings? they were blue abd green
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solxamber · 21 days ago
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Choose Us!
In which you have to decide on a dorm to become part of.
Part 2: You choose the dorm
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"You're serious?" you blink at Crowley, half-expecting Grim to wake you up from this fever dream. "I can move into any dorm?"
Crowley clasps his hands together with a benevolent smile that doesn't quite match his usual dramatic flair. "Indeed, my dear prefect! It's the least I can do to ensure your safety and comfort!"
Grim looks up from where he’s gnawing on a suspiciously burnt sofa leg. "Wait, what about me?!"
"You’ll go where the prefect goes, naturally," Crowley waves off Grim’s protests. "Now, chop-chop! Let me know your decision by the end of the day."
And just like that, he floats out of Ramshackle, leaving you standing in the middle of the chaos.
Heartslabyul
The second you hit send in the group chat, you regret everything. Ace and Deuce don’t even wait for you to explain. Within minutes, they’re barging into Ramshackle like the Kool-Aid Man.
“Heartslabyul!” Ace yells, grabbing one of your arms.
“Obviously Heartslabyul!” Deuce hollers, seizing the other.
“I haven’t even decided—”
“Blasphemy!” Ace gasps, as if you’d just insulted his mother. “We’re your best friends, how could you even think about choosing another dorm?”
Deuce nods fervently, dragging you toward the door. “Heartslabyul’s clean! Organized! You’d thrive there!”
"And the desserts!" Ace adds. "Think of the desserts!"
Before you know it, you're shoved into Heartslabyul’s rose garden, where Riddle is waiting with the most extravagant tea party setup you’ve ever seen. There’s a towering cake, delicate pastries, and enough tea to drown Grim.
“I thought you might need proper refreshments while considering your options,” Riddle says, adjusting his posture like he isn’t secretly trying to sway you. “Of course, I have no preference where you go. I’m merely concerned for your well-being.”
Trey hands you a plate with the biggest, most immaculate slice of cake you’ve ever seen. “You’d fit right in here, you know,” he says kindly. “We’re all about structure and care… and good desserts.”
"Plus," Cater slides in with a grin, “imagine all the cool pics we could take together! #DormGoals, am I right? You and me chilling in Heartslabyul, like, all the time?”
Riddle clears his throat loudly. “This isn’t about favoritism, mind you. But if you were to choose Heartslabyul, you’d be part of a dorm that values discipline and respect for the rules.”
Ace nudges you with a smirk. “Ignore him. Just think of all the times I’ll sneak you extra tarts.”
You glance around at the hopeful stares. Grim’s already halfway into a tart he snatched off the table. “I feel like I’m being ambushed.”
“Oh, you are,” Ace says shamelessly.
Savanaclaw
You stumble out of the Heartslabyul tea party, feeling like you’ve consumed enough sugar to fuel a small country. Before you can even catch your breath, a shadow looms over you, and suddenly, you're hoisted into the air like a sack of potatoes.
“What the—JACK?!” you squawk, flailing as he throws you over his shoulder like you weigh nothing.
“You’re coming with me,” Jack grunts, completely unfazed by your protests. “You need to see why Savanaclaw is the best dorm for you.”
“I can walk, you know!” you huff, punching his back.
He ignores you. “Not fast enough.”
By the time he sets you down, you’re in the middle of Savanaclaw’s common area, where Ruggie is lounging on one of the couches, counting a suspiciously thick wad of cash. Leona’s sprawled out nearby, pretending to nap, though his ears twitch at the sound of your arrival.
Ruggie grins as soon as he spots you. “Ah, perfect timing! I was just telling Leona how we could totally use someone like you here. Right, boss?”
Leona cracks one eye open and yawns, his tone dripping with disinterest. “Tch. Don’t care. They can do whatever they want.”
“That’s funny,” Ruggie says, nudging Leona hard enough to make him growl, “’cause I distinctly remember you saying—and I quote—‘If they don’t pick Savanaclaw, everyone else can rot.’”
Leona sits up, glaring daggers at Ruggie. “I said no such thing.”
“Sure you didn’t,” Ruggie snickers before turning back to you, his grin as wide as a hyena’s. “Anyway, check this out. Leona generously donated some funds to help you... you know, see the light.”
He shoves the wad of cash into your hands. You blink at it. “What am I supposed to do with this?”
“Whatever you want! Snacks, clothes, bribes for your annoying friends in Heartslabyul…”
Leona groans and drags a hand down his face. “You’re making us look desperate.”
“We? Speak for yourself, Your Highness.” Ruggie winks at you. “He’s just mad ‘cause he doesn’t know how to be subtle.”
Leona slouches further into his seat, watching you through half-lidded eyes. “Look, Herbivore, if you wanna be around people who won’t coddle you, Savanaclaw’s where it’s at. We don’t do tea parties here—”
“Obviously,” you mutter, thinking about the claw marks on the furniture.
“—but we’ll actually challenge you to grow stronger. You can’t get that in the other dorms.”
Jack nods. “He’s right. And we’ve got the best training facilities on campus.”
Ruggie waves a hand dismissively. “Yeah, yeah, training’s cool and all, but let’s focus on what really matters. Free snacks. Awesome vibes. Me.”
Leona rolls his eyes. “You’re going to scare them off.”
You cross your arms, trying to ignore the way Leona’s ears flick every time you shift your weight. “So… are you guys going to bribe me with anything besides money and vibes?”
Leona smirks. “What, isn’t my dazzling personality enough?”
Ruggie snorts. “Oh, sure. That’s totally why people flock to you.”
You can’t help but laugh, and Leona’s eyes soften just a little, though he quickly turns his head like he doesn’t care.
“I’ll think about it,” you say, handing the wad of cash back to Ruggie, who immediately starts recounting it like you’ve stolen some.
“Better think fast,” Leona mutters, though there’s the faintest curve of a smile on his lips.
Octavinelle
As you trudge back to Ramshackle, your brain still processing Savanaclaw’s “recruitment tactics,” a pair of arms suddenly wrap around you, lifting you clean off the ground.
“Shrimpy!” Floyd crows, spinning you around like you’re a prize he just won at a carnival.
“FLOYD! Put me down!” you shout, flailing uselessly in his grip.
“Nah, I got orders,” he says, grinning ear to ear as he hauls you off toward the Mostro Lounge.
By the time you’re unceremoniously deposited (read: still stuck in Floyd’s arms like a glorified teddy bear), you’re face-to-face with Azul and Jade, both of whom look way too pleased with themselves.
“Ah, perfect timing!” Azul says, standing up from his chair with his signature business smile. “We’ve been eagerly awaiting your arrival. Have a seat!”
“I would if Floyd let me down,” you deadpan, glaring at the tall eel holding you like a sack of seaweed.
“Nah, you’re comfy,” Floyd chirps, tightening his grip as if daring you to try escaping.
Azul clears his throat, pulling out a scroll of parchment that looks suspiciously like a contract. “Ahem. Now, as I was saying—let’s discuss the many benefits of joining Octavinelle. For starters, we pride ourselves on being a dorm of intellect and resourcefulness. Here, you’ll have access to unmatched networking opportunities, a plethora of unique beverages crafted by Jade himself, and—should you agree—my personal mentorship in matters of… negotiation.”
He flashes you a grin that screams, This is totally not suspicious at all.
Jade slides a glass of something shimmering and iridescent across the table toward you. “I would be delighted to name you our official taste tester. Imagine the prestige of being the first to try all my… experimental creations.”
You eye the drink like it might explode. “Define ‘experimental.’”
Jade smiles serenely. “You’ll find out.”
“Don’t be shy, Shrimpy!” Floyd chimes in, shifting you in his arms so you’re now sitting sideways like some sort of royal guest. “You’d have so much fun here. We’ve got good food, good drinks, and me.”
Azul adjusts his glasses, sliding the contract closer to you. “And, of course, we’ve prepared a special position for you. All you have to do is sign right here, and Octavinelle will officially welcome you as our newest member.”
You glance at the contract, then at the three of them—Azul’s scheming smile, Jade’s unsettling calmness, and Floyd’s unnervingly enthusiastic grin.
“I feel like this is a trap,” you say.
“It’s not a trap,” Floyd says immediately, which makes you even more suspicious.
Azul leans forward, steepling his fingers. “I assure you, everything is perfectly legitimate. Now, shall we seal the deal?”
“Or,” you say, leaning back as far as Floyd’s grip will allow, “I could not.”
Jade hums thoughtfully, handing you another drink. “At least try the beverages before you decide.”
Azul smirks. “I’m sure a sip or two will convince you.”
You glance at the drink, then back at Azul. “Is this bribery?”
“It’s persuasion,” he corrects smoothly.
“Same thing.”
Floyd suddenly squeezes you tight, grinning down at you. “C’mon, Shrimpy. Just say yes already! I’ll carry you everywhere. Betcha Heartslabyul and Savanaclaw didn’t offer that.”
You sigh, resting your head in your hands. This was going to be a long night.
Scarabia
You barely make it out of Octavinelle alive (or at least with your dignity and soul intact) when you’re immediately ambushed again.
“Prefect!” Kalim’s voice rings out, and before you can even process the sound, you’re being yanked into a whirlwind of color, music, and… is that confetti?
You blink as Scarabia's lounge comes into view, transformed into what can only be described as a full-blown festival. Tables are piled high with food, lanterns glow in warm hues, and cheerful music fills the air.
“Surprise!” Kalim grins, throwing his arms wide like he just gifted you the world. “Welcome to Scarabia! We threw a party just for you!”
“A… party?” you repeat, still trying to figure out how you got here so fast.
“Yep!” Kalim grabs your hands, his golden eyes shining with pure, unfiltered excitement. “I thought, ‘What’s the best way to convince you to join us?’ And then I thought, ‘A party! Everyone loves parties!’”
Before you can respond, a plate stacked with delicious-looking food appears in front of you, courtesy of none other than Jamil.
“Eat,” he says simply, pushing the plate closer.
“Oh, uh, thanks?” you mumble, picking up a fork.
Jamil nods, then leans in slightly, his voice low and almost conspiratorial. “This is just a taste of what Scarabia has to offer. Stick around, and I’ll make sure you’re well-fed every day. Properly fed.”
You pause mid-bite, noticing the way he emphasizes the word “properly,” like he knows exactly how many instant noodles you’ve been living off of.
Kalim, meanwhile, is still giving you the most devastating puppy-dog eyes you’ve ever seen. “You’ll join, right? We’d have so much fun together! And think of all the parties we could throw! Oh, and I can get you anything you want! Name it, and it’s yours!”
You glance between Kalim’s hopeful grin and Jamil’s subtle but persuasive bribes.
Jamil catches your hesitation and sighs, placing yet another dish in front of you. “Look, I’ll even help you stay on top of your work. You’re clearly the type who needs someone dependable around.”
“Hey!” you protest, only for him to raise an eyebrow as if to say, Am I wrong?
“Please?” Kalim chimes in, practically bouncing in place. “It’ll be so much fun! And I really, really want you to join. Scarabia would be perfect for you!”
You groan internally, stuffing another bite of food into your mouth just to avoid answering. Between Kalim’s overwhelming enthusiasm and Jamil’s quiet determination, you’re starting to think Scarabia might actually succeed in breaking your will.
You’re doomed. Aren’t you?
Pomefiore
You stumble out of Scarabia, clutching your overstuffed stomach and wondering how you’ve made it this far without officially losing your sanity. Taking the long way around campus to avoid any more ambushes seems like the best idea—you’ve had enough dorm propaganda for one day.
Or so you thought.
You’re halfway through the forest, breathing a sigh of relief at the quiet, when—
“Bonjour, mon cher trésor!”
You shriek as Rook appears out of thin air. Where did he even come from? Why is there sparkly lighting behind him? Is this even allowed?
“Rook! What—what are you doing here?!”
“Ah, I see you were clever enough to evade the others,” he says, ignoring your question entirely. “But you cannot escape me, the hunter of beauty! Pomefiore awaits, mon ami!”
Before you can protest, he’s scooped you up bridal style and is sprinting through the forest with unnatural speed, his laughter echoing ominously.
“This isn’t fair! You’re cheating!” you yell, flailing helplessly.
“All’s fair in love, war, and dorm recruitment, non?”
You soon find yourself unceremoniously plopped down in the middle of Pomefiore’s lounge. Vil is waiting with his arms crossed and an unreadable expression, though the way his foot taps against the floor suggests he’s less than pleased.
“Honestly,” Vil sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Was the theatrics really necessary, Rook?”
“Always,” Rook replies with a wink.
Epel is off to the side, clearly trying not to laugh at your predicament while casually carving an apple.
“Well,” Vil says, straightening his posture and fixing you with a regal gaze. “I’ve heard about this… situation of yours. Joining Pomefiore would be the obvious choice. After all, we are the epitome of elegance and refinement. It would be a privilege for you to stay here, and I might even be able to do something about your… appearance.”
You blink. "What's wrong with my appearance?”
Vil waves a hand dismissively. “Nothing I can’t fix. Consider it a favor.”
Epel, meanwhile, sidles up next to you, whispering conspiratorially “Don’t listen to him. He’s just tryna butter you up. But, uh… you should totally join Pomefiore anyway. Look, I brought you some fresh juice from Harveston. And this apple.”
You glance at the carved apple he’s offering. It’s shaped like a little heart.
“Epel,” Vil scolds, glaring at him. “Stop bribing them. That’s hardly dignified.”
“Well, it’s working, isn’t it?” Epel shoots back, crossing his arms. “I just think we need someone who’ll actually get how hard it is to survive your routines. And they seem cool. So there.”
You feel your brain short-circuiting as Vil and Epel start bickering in front of you. Rook stands off to the side, watching with sparkling eyes like he’s witnessing a masterpiece.
Somehow, you feel like this is still less stressful than Scarabia. But only barely.
Ignihyde
You somehow manage to escape Pomefiore in one piece, though your mind feels like it’s been through a blender. You’re determined to finally make it back to Ramshackle without incident when—
“Prefect!”
You freeze mid-step as Ortho zooms into view, his boosters glowing bright blue. Before you can even blink, he grabs your arm with surprising strength.
“Ignihyde is next!” he announces cheerfully, starting to lift you off the ground.
“Wait, wait!” you shout, flailing. “I can walk! Please, I’ve been carried around like a stolen handbag all day!”
Ortho tilts his head, his LED eyes flickering. “Oh… okay! As long as you promise to come willingly!”
You nod frantically. “I promise! Just no more flying, please.”
Satisfied, Ortho takes your hand and leads you to Ignihyde. The journey is mercifully uneventful, though you can feel your soul leaving your body as you realize what’s waiting for you inside.
Sure enough, Idia is hunched over in the corner of the lounge, a laptop balanced precariously on a stack of game boxes. The moment you enter, the screen lights up with a title slide: “Top 10 Reasons Why You Should Join Ignihyde” in bold, glowing text.
“Oh, you’re here,” Idia mutters, adjusting his hoodie nervously. His hair flickers faintly pink at the tips. “Uh, okay, so—yeah, uh—welcome? Or whatever. Let’s, um, get this over with.”
He clicks to the first slide, which is an overwhelming wall of text filled with bullet points, charts, and what looks like a meme of a cat wearing glasses.
“Reason number one,” Idia starts, stumbling over his words. “Um, we’re quiet? Like, no loud parties or annoying socializing. Uh… unless you count Ortho, but, uh, he’s not that bad. And you can play games as much as you want. Or watch anime. Or—uh—just chill. Yeah.”
Ortho, standing nearby, nods enthusiastically. “Ignihyde is perfect for you! And Brother worked really hard on this presentation!”
You glance at Idia, who’s clearly fighting for his life to make eye contact with you. He clicks to the next slide, which is just a stock photo of a cozy room.
“Reason number two,” he continues. “We, uh, have good Wi-Fi? Like, really good. You could stream in 4K if you wanted to. Not that you’d want to. Or maybe you would? Uh… I dunno. Anyway.”
His hair flickers a deeper pink, and he clicks to the next slide. It’s a crudely edited photo of you and him standing next to each other in front of a glowing Ignihyde logo. You’re not sure whether to be impressed or deeply concerned.
He glances at you, his expression oddly hopeful. “So, uh… what do you think?”
You can feel Ortho practically vibrating next to you, his bright smile threatening to blind you. Meanwhile, Idia is trying (and failing) to look indifferent, but the way his fingers tap anxiously on the laptop betrays him.
“I’ll… think about it,” you say carefully, not having the heart to crush Idia’s dreams outright.
His hair sparks bright pink for a split second before he slams the laptop shut, muttering something about “overheating processors” and “input overload.”
Ortho cheers. “Yay! I knew you’d see how great we are!”
You manage a weak smile, already planning your escape route.
Diasomnia
You’re so close—so, so close—to finally making it back to Ramshackle when the universe decides to remind you that peace is but a fleeting dream.
“Ah, there you are!”
You barely have time to scream before Lilia literally materializes out of thin air, grabbing you by the arm and dragging you into a swirling vortex of green light.
“Wait, NO—”
Too late. You’re already standing in the middle of Diasomnia’s lounge, disoriented and ready to file a restraining order against anyone with teleportation magic.
Malleus looks up from where he’s seated, eyebrows raising slightly. “Child of man? What brings you here?”
“Great news, Malleus!” Lilia chirps, dropping you onto the couch like a sack of potatoes. “They’re choosing a dorm to transfer to, and we couldn’t possibly let them pick anywhere but Diasomnia!”
Malleus freezes, his eyes wide with surprise, before his expression shifts into one of regal determination. He rises from his seat, his imposing height making you feel like a pebble in the presence of a mountain.
“Is this true?” he asks, his voice deep and serious. “You’re choosing a new dorm?”
“Uh, yeah, but—”
“Then it must be Diasomnia.” His tone leaves no room for argument. “Here, you will be protected. No harm shall come to you under my watch. And…” He pauses, his eyes gleaming with excitement. “I have a gargoyle in my room. A fine specimen. You would enjoy its company.”
You blink. “...A gargoyle?”
“Yes,” Malleus says with absolute sincerity, as though that’s the most convincing argument in the world.
Before you can process that, Sebek practically throws himself to the floor in front of you, bowing with the intensity of a knight swearing fealty.
“Human!” he bellows. “You must choose Diasomnia! To live anywhere else would be an insult to the Young Master’s unparalleled grace and power! Surely, you can see this is the only logical choice!”
“Sebek,” Silver mumbles from his spot on the couch, not even bothering to open his eyes. “Maybe let them decide for themselves.”
“But, Silver!” Sebek protests, his voice trembling with the sheer force of his conviction. “The honor! The prestige!”
Meanwhile, Lilia floats into view, holding a plate of… something. “Don’t worry about dinner, dear. I’ve prepared a feast for you! Go on, take a bite.”
You stare at the plate. It looks like it might be alive. “I’m… good, thanks.”
“Nonsense! You need to keep your strength up!” Lilia insists, thrusting the plate closer to your face.
Silver sighs, finally sitting up. “You should just do what feels right,” he says, offering you a calm, reassuring smile. “Don’t let them pressure you.”
You glance between Malleus’s earnest expression, Sebek’s passionate pleas, and Lilia’s… questionable cooking. Your stomach growls, but you’re not sure if it’s hunger or the beginnings of a panic attack.
One thing’s for sure: if you survive this day, you’re going to need therapy.
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The sun is setting by the time you finally drag your aching body back to Ramshackle. The dorm looms ahead, creaky and crumbling, but for once, it feels like a safe haven compared to the dorm-hopping marathon you just survived.
As you step inside, you’re greeted by the unmistakable voice of your ever-demanding feline companion. “There you are! What took ya so long? I’ve been waitin’ forever!”
Grim is sprawled on the couch, a can of tuna already half-empty beside him. He squints at you suspiciously. “So? Which dorm are we movin’ to?”
You groan, flopping face-first onto the nearest piece of semi-clean furniture. “I haven’t decided yet.”
“What?!” Grim squawks, leaping onto the armrest beside you. “What do ya mean you haven’t decided? This is important! We gotta pick one where I can get the most tuna, y’know?”
You tilt your head just enough to glare at him. “Oh, sure. Let me just base my entire living situation on your snack preferences.”
Grim puffs up, indignant. “Hey! I’ve been puttin’ up with this dump longer than anyone! I deserve to have a say!”
You sigh, the weight of the day finally catching up to you. Somehow, Grim being his usual self is oddly comforting after everything. No bribes, no PowerPoints, no gargoyle sales pitches—just Grim being Grim.
“Can we talk about this tomorrow?” you mumble, your voice muffled by the cushion. “I’m too tired to think.”
Grim eyes you for a moment before huffing. “Fine. But don’t take too long, got it? I’m not stickin’ around this dump forever!”
With that, he hops off to raid the kitchen, leaving you alone to sink further into the furniture. You stare at the ceiling, your brain too fried to process anything else.
Tomorrow. You’ll deal with it tomorrow. For now, all you want is to sleep in your creaky, drafty old dorm. At least here, no one’s trying to kidnap you.
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teaboot · 5 months ago
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I've never had a cat before and I'm hoping to get one soon. Do you have any advice?
Treat a new cat as you would a new roommate. Give them space and time to settle, establish a pattern and a rhythm, and in time they may choose to become friends and spend time with you. Dont force a friendship.
Use simple words and repetition to establish communication. Words like breakfast, treat, snack, lunch, supper, dinner, food, and eat all basically mean, "I am feeding you; expect to be fed", but it's a lot for a little guy to remember. I just say "Dinner" when I mean "cat food is coming", and so my boy knows exactly what I mean when I say it. As a plus, using only one word for snack time means he has no idea what the other words mean, so I can talk about food in front of him without ruling him up.
Pay attention to body language. Cats all have different personalities, and you'll learn their likes, dislikes, and messages over time this way. Son boy here loves anything with plumbing but dislikes getting wet- his favourite blanket to chew and snuggle goes on his favourite chair, and he gives me a specific gesture when he wants me to kneel down so he can jump onto my shoulder.
Read into problematic behaviour. Cats pee in weird places when they're hurting, in distress, or have insufficient of unclean litter box space. Biting, attacking feet , and knocking things off tables often means they're understimulated and need you to play with them, or at least need some kind of enrichment or puzzle to tackle. Tail flicking can be frustration or irritation. Purring is usually good, but may also be self-soothing behaviour to alleviate pain, encourage healing, and relieve anxiety, like over-grooming.
Like children, "bad" behaviour isn't malicious- it usually means there's something you aren't seeing.
Learn how your cat expresses love. Loads of people think cats are uncaring, cruel, and indifferent, but the truth is, they're just not dogs. Spending time near you, showing an interest in tools you're using or projects you're working on, sitting the way you sit, laying on their back, rubbing on your legs, wiping their face on your shoes when you get home- these are signs that your cat is enamored with you. You're their family, they feel safe and protected around you, they're curious about things you enjoy and want everyone to know you're family.
Set reasonable expectations. Again, cats are not dogs.We bred dogs to desire our approval- cats walked into our lives themselves. They have no human-programmed need to fulfill a duty or perform a task to your standards.
Training cats to do tricks isn't as hard as people say, but the willingness or interest in doing the trick is more heavily reliant on personality and mood. Some cats will refuse all but the most basic requests- I'm lucky in that Ollie understands and is willing to do several, provided I don't abuse his trust and he's not crowded or overwhelmed or just bored of doing it over and over in a short period.
Ollie, for example, knows Up to stand on his back legs and hold my hand, Down to get to a surface I indicate, Out to emerge from a closed space, Come to find me where I am, Help? when I'm offering to let him use me as an elevator, Dinner when I understand he's hungry and am getting food, and when I put on his collar he knows to climb into his carrier 'cause we're going somewhere. And he'll do any of these about 90% of the time, either ignoring me or phoning it in when there's something interesting somewhere else, or if he's feeling anxious.
Lead by example. If you dread taking them to the vet, they'll see the anxiety in your body language and behaviour and likely learn to hate it, too. Again using my guy an example, I starred taking him on walks long before his first vet appointment, just to get used to his carrier and leash. Then his first checkup was relaxed and informal, with plenty of treats, and I let him explore the examination room with permission from the tech. Now he loves going, so I'm not stressed about taking him, so I don't stress him out in turn, and the vest doesn't have to deal with a stressed out cat slowing things down and fighting with them.
Make sure your sources are good ones, and also good ones for you. I will recommend Jackson Galaxy's YouTube channel for cat advice because a lot of what he does matches up with what I've learned and know to be true. I don't personally recommend Ceasar Milan because I personally find his methods distressing to recreate regardless of efficacy, so even if that advice was useful, *I'd* be miserable, and it'd just be trading one issue for another.
Have a person who can help. You never know when you might end up out of town overnight unexpectedly, or when your place may need serviced or fumigated, or if you may be called out of town. Before getting a cat, research reliable pet sitters, house sitters, pet daycares, whatever, just in case.
Consider pet insurance. No long spiel here, just think about it. Especially if you don't know your cats ancestry or potenyial health risks. An on top of that, fucking vaccinate them.
Dont let them free roam. At all.
I grew up on a farm with free-roaming barn cats. Do you know how many times child-me cried over having to bury them? Illness, disease, pregnancy, vehicles, other territorial cats, ticks, fleas, litter, poisoned prey, malicious humans, local wildlife, predatory birds, scrap metal, extreme heat, freezing temperatures, tainted water sources, poisonous or venomous critters, getting stuck in small or high places, tapeworms, loose nails, old equipment, falling branches...
I've seen some truly body-horror slasher-movie shit- just truly nauseating visual fuckery- and I'm telling you not to let your cat free-roam.
Leash training isn't hard. Supervised walks aren't hard. Even keeping your cat physically fit and entertained indoors isn't an impossible feat. Don't let your fucking cat fucking free-roam. Fuck
Also read up on foods and plants cats can't do, like every houseplant in existence is toxic it's insane
Anyhow yeah that's like. A couple things I guess
Here, have an Ollie Pic
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fazcinatingblog · 1 year ago
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Would my boss hate that there's like three desks downstairs that are all sort of mine, there's my normal desk (without a computer) then my other desk that has the computer and then Jenette's desk that we use to lodge things but three desks for ONE PERSON
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gaywineauntsstuff · 10 days ago
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Headcanon that bludhaven hates heroes with a flaming passion bc theyre just cops in tights but love Nightwing and therefore vehemently deny his hero status to anyone and everyone.
Like there is no official Nightwing merch bc he’s a criminal he’s committing a crime okay vigilante justice is in fact not legal and he’s not TECHNICALLY on the justice league and he’s NOT TECHNICALLY the leader of the titans anymore. But there are about 400 different Etsy stores that make hoodies, crop tops, joggers, sweats, sunglasses, bracelets, t shirts with nightwings logo or some art of him on them.
Like they love this guy and will get into beef with any Gotham national who tries to claim Nightwing is THEIR hero.
1) hes not a hero he’s a criminal fuck you
2) you have a hero and just bc he’s shit at his job and needs our guy (who is NOT a hero) to help him sometimes doesn’t MEAN SHIT
people are walking around with tiny v shaped blue tattoos or embroidered on clothing but again NOT A HERO BLUDHAVEN DOESNT DO HEROS
There are coffee shops with bad nightwing pun names nightbird, beanwing, nightwinging it and so on
Every third piece of graffiti is this man’s logo
Every sandwich place or fast food chain has a ‘secret menu item’ that’s not actually secret bc everyone orders it and it’s just one of their normal items dyed blue (sodas, desserts, burger buns, condiments so on) some places will sell wings fried in blue panko bread crumbs and call them them ‘nightwings’ ofc these are ALL off the menu you can’t see these items and if you try to order them out of the city you get weird looks.
Superman goes on tv and says Nightwing is one of his favorite hero’s and bludhaven riots. wtf nightwing is your favorite hero you fuckin poser
1) nightwing isn’t a hero he’s a criminal so back off
2) he’s ours you and your frou frou fancy city that hasn’t been nuked by a sentient pile of radiation can fuck RIGHT off
Naturally the only person in bludhaven who is unaware of this is Dick Grayson bc tbh this man is too busy to give a fuck about what his city thinks of him. They trust him to get shit done. Good that’s all he needs okay he has 22 reports he needs to log he’s busy.
Tim Drake professional nightwing fanboy however is fucking furious about this because.
A) dick was a GOTHAM hero FIRST and bludhaven can suck it
B) fuck you nightwing isn’t just a a hero he’s THE HERO and the BEST hero and don’t be rude bc you have a complex
C) all of the cool nightwing merch only ships around bludhaven so has to get it ordered there and it’s just a hassle and he’d pay double he swears just let him get it delivered to where he is please Everytime he stops by bludhaven he leaves with 10 new pieces of nightwing merch and bc he has so much. Damian doesn’t think he notices when some of his doubles mysteriously go missing. He does.
D) since they are anti hero they are firmly unhelpful whenever he or Steph show up bc a case has lead them to the city
The one plus side was watching Jason Todd having a mental breakdown bc apparently in bludhaven redhood counts as a hero and is therefore hated.
“Yous worked with the bat yous a hero thems the rules”
“I KILL PEOPLE”
“Yeah so do cops and people always call them heroes”
“Okay but I kill people to protect the general public I put down scum”
“Cops say they do that too”
“I- okay you know what I’m a hero fine okay. Why isn’t nightwing a hero”
“Vigilante justice is a crime”
“I’m documentably worse than a vigilante”
“But you have worked with the bat”
“For money yeah”
“See you even get paid, face it you’re a hero which means you suck”
“You realize Nightwing has worked with the bat right like way more than I have”
“Listen that ain’t his fault okay, the bats incompetent and so are the rest to you idiots. He’s a nice guy and a good neighbor don’t mean he’s a hero”
“I- what the fuck is in this cities water”
“I don’t fuckin know but it’s prolly better than whatever gothams got in its harbor”
“I- yeah you’re probably right”
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cosmicdahlias · 2 months ago
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And They Were Roommates
Logan Howlett x Reader
MINORS DNI
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Your roommate, Wade Wilson, brings home an alcoholic Canadian bastard with knifes in his knuckles. After a month of putting up with him, an argument between you two goes in an unexpected direction.
tags: hard drugs mention, marijuana mention, alcohol usage, age difference, enemies to lovers, slapping, claws, hate fucking, mdom/fsub, breeding, degradation, praise kink, belt usage, choking, p in v, knifeplay (counting claw usage as knifeplay lmao), blood, creampie, possible impreg, aftercare, oral, multiple orgasms (emphasis on multiple), overstimulation
i’ve recently started watching the xcu movies after deadpool and wolverine dropped on disney+ and MY GODDDDDD have i been missing out!!! i’ve been an mcu girlie for so long (plus deadpool). the x-men movies are so fun but alsoooooo uhhhh hugh jackman as logan??? HELLO??? i need this man biblically like it’s not even funny. i have yet to watch logan (2017) but i’ve seen edits on tiktok and WHOA MAMA talk about a silver fox!!! also fun fact male wolverines bite down on the female’s neck during mating and i couldn’t resist including that in this fic. animalistic logan is THE BEST logan 👌
You were Wade Wilson’s friend turned roommate. You first knew each other through your other roommate, Althea, a blind woman who went by Al. At one point in time you were Al’s dealer before giving up that life once you got your degree and found steady employment. You never dabbled in the devil’s dandruff like Al did, as with the rest of gen Z, your drug of choice was weed. Your friends often asked why you chose an old woman and a mutant in his forties as roommates, but honestly rent was cheap and that was all you cared about.
You hadn’t seen Wade in a few days, he mysteriously disappeared during his birthday party. Neither you, nor any of his friends had any idea what had happened to him. You knew he’d kinda hit a rough’ish point in his life, giving up his assassin alter ego by the name of Deadpool for becoming a car salesman. You wondered if he had gone off on some sort of bender, but you honestly didn’t know.
You had just gotten off of work and opened the door to your apartment. Getting home took longer than expected, half of your street was cordoned off, from the damage looked like a bombing was the cause. You sat on the couch and pulled out your phone, trying to see if the local news had covered what had happened when door unlocked and swung open.
Wade walked in, sporting the iconic red suit you hadn’t seen him wear in six years. He was carrying the most… unique looking dog you’d ever seen and he was accompanied by a man with a rugged appearance who was wearing pants of similar material as Wade’s suit and nothing else. The stench of blood permeated the room.
“Al, I’m back.” Wade said.
“She’s out. Dude, where the hell have you been?” You asked.
“Oh no big deal, just saved the entire multiverse from total annihilation. I’m Marvel Jesus now.” Wade answered.
You elected to ignore his explanation. You never knew why you asked what he’d gotten up to whenever he wore that suit, none of it ever made a lick of sense to you.
“Who’s the dog?”
“Her? This four legged scrotum is Mary Puppins, or as I like to call her, Dogpool. Something… unfortunate happened to her last owner, so I’m her papá now.” Wade said cheerfully.
Knowing him, he definitely had something to do with whatever happened to her previous owner, but that wasn’t what you were asking about.
“Cute, but I was talking about the washed up Abercrombie & Fitch greeter next to you.”
The man rolled his eyes.
“Ohhhh, yeah that’s Logan. He’s gonna be crashing here for a while.”
“Wait, hold the fuck up. You disappear for days and you just show up in the suit you haven’t worn in years, reeking of blood, telling me some shirtless dude who also smells like blood is gonna live here like it’s no big deal?”
“Well funny thing is he doesn’t exactly know anyone else around here, not really his fault since I had to pull him from his universe and bring him here to save ours. May or may not have done so to a choir rendition of Madonna. You know, typical multiverse stuff and whatnot. I mean we’re Disney property now and that’s the horse they’re beating to death at the moment.” Wade answered.
Once again ignoring the exposition dump, you continued to protest.
“You can’t be serious, Wade! This is a two bed apartment. You and Al already share a room, so where the fuck are you gonna put him?”
“Isn’t that a couch you’re sitting on?” Logan scoffed.
“Oh perfect, so I can’t even use the goddam living room anymore?” You asked, growing even more irritated by Logan’s input.
“Jesus, you’re just a fuckin’ princess, aren’t you?” Logan huffed.
You glared at him before turning your attention back to Wade.
“Do I literally not get a say in this like at all? Even though I live here and pay my share of the rent?”
“Look, I promise it’s temporary. Just until he gets his footing in this universe. It won’t be so bad, I mean look him, total eye candy.” Wade said, gripping Logan’s face and turning his head to you.
Logan gave him a look that could kill. Long metal claws sprung out from just below his knuckles. Your eyes widened.
“THE FUCK ARE THOSE?” You shouted.
“Riiiiiiiight, so those are adamantium claws. They ain’t vibranium, but hey, can’t always be the number one. He’s a bonafide animal, in more ways than one, maybe you’ll find out for yourself.” Wade said, you could tell he was winking underneath his mask.
“The fuck do you mean by that?” Logan growled.
“Yeah, what?” You asked.
“Hey, I know sexual tension when I see it.” Wade retorted.
“I literally just met him.” You said.
“Yeah and with Hugh Jackman’s face and body, the time between introduction and need for face riding is a matter of seconds.” Wade said.
You gave a quick glance at Logan. Sure, he was incredibly attractive, but you sensed a sort of emotional unavailability that put you off. You had standards.
“You know my type and he’s not it, Wade.” You insisted.
“Forget type, he’s THE Wolverine. You know how many fanfics people read about this guy? Lookin’ at you, reader.” Wade said.
“Whatever, I’m not getting into a debate over my preferences for men.” You said, walking to your room and slamming the door.
“I think that went well.” Wade said.
-
A month had passed and much to your dismay, you were still being forced to share the apartment with Logan. At the very least he’d upgraded to wearing a shirt instead of walking around with his top half exposed.
After getting home from an exhausting shift at work, you opened the fridge, looking for the bottle of wine you saved for those evenings after a particularly long day. It was nowhere to be seen and you immediately knew who the culprit was.
“For fuck’s sake, Logan!” You shouted.
You headed to the living room to confront what was supposed to be your temporary roommate who sat on the couch.
“Christ, what now?” He groaned.
“Where the fuck is my wine?”
“Hm? Oh that? Yeah, it’s gone.” He answered dismissively, almost like taking time to respond or even look at you was beneath him.
“How many times do I have to tell you to keep your barely functioning alcoholic ass away from my stuff?”
“Didn’t see your name on it.”
“I specifically told you not to touch that fucking bottle multiple times.”
“Must’ve not been able to distinguish what you said from your typical bitching, I usually just tune that shit out.” He said, still not making eye contact with you.
“Jesus you really have no respect for anyone.” You spat.
Logan stood, coming in way too close for your liking.
“Respect? That’s a really funny word coming from someone who doesn’t respect themselves enough to not wear short little skirts like the one you’re wearing, bending over all the time to show off that ass.”
“Excuse me?”
“Oh you fuckin’ heard me. You think I don’t see what you’re doing with the clothes you wear, or when you come out in the morning in nothing but a shirt and panties because you think I’m asleep and won’t notice?”
“Back the fuck up, the hell do you mean by ‘think’ you’re asleep?”
“I barely sleep enough as it is, I’m awake the second I hear your door open. You have any idea what seeing you like that does to me?”
You blushed.
“You’re fucking disgusting.” You said through gritted teeth.
“Please, you do it because you hope I’m watching you. I see the way you look at me. You can say you hate me all you fuckin’ want, but I can smell your goddam pheromones from across the room. I’ve been around for over two centuries and have more than enough experience to know when someone wants me. Especially when they’re acting like as much of a slut as y-“
You slapped him hard across the face. Logan immediately responded by pushing you up against the wall, unsheathing his claws and holding them under your chin. Neither of you said anything, the only sounds being a mix of him and you panting in anger.
Fuck, you had really grown to hate him, but something about his claws so dangerously close to you was playing into your kinks. You stole a glance down under, holy shit he was hard. You grabbed him by the face, kissing him aggressively. His claws retracted and he let his hands travel to your waist, pulling you closer.
“Mmf- fuckin’ knew it.” He said between kisses.
Logan picked you up by the underside of your thighs and carried you to your bedroom, his lips never once leaving you. He threw you down onto the bed, pulling your shirt over your head and unhooking your bra, tossing it aside. He took in the sight of your exposed chest.
“You’re such a pretty little thing, babygirl.”
His rough, calloused hand cupped your breast. He leaned down and you gave a yelp as he bit and tugged your nipple.
Logan chuckled. “Sensitive, aren’t you?”
You kissed him as you pulled his shirt off and traced your fingers along the dip between his abs. He unbuckled his belt, unzipping his jeans and slipping them off. Your eyes widened at the size of his cock, he laughed at your reaction.
“Yeah, like it don’t you?” He smirked.
“How the hell am I supposed to enjoy this if you’re gonna tear me in half?”
“Don’t pretend you don’t want it like that, I can tell you like it rough.”
“That’s a bold assumption to make.”
“Yeah? Keep telling yourself that.”
Logan pulled off your skirt and hooked his thumbs in the waistband of your panties, slipping them down your legs. He looked at your pussy with pure animalistic lust.
“Fuuuck babygirl, look how wet you already are for me. You got it that bad for older men, huh?”
“Don’t flatter yourself.” You retorted.
“Oh I don’t have to, the way you’re dripping says more than enough.”
“Just shut up and fuck me already.”
You laid back on the bed with your head against the pillow and Logan flipped you over on your stomach, pulling you up to your hands and knees.
“No, you don’t get missionary. You act like a bitch? You’re getting fucked like one.”
Logan reached for his belt, he raised it, bringing it down sharply on your ass, making you squeal.
“This is what you get for being such a fuckin’ brat. From now on you call me ‘sir’, understand?”
“Like hell I will.“
He lashed you again.
“Keep talking back and see what happens. Now, what do you say?”
“Y- yes sir.”
“There you go. I’ll be nicer if you listen to me… maybe.”
Logan looped the belt around your neck.
“I’m keeping you on a leash in case you continue making smart comments.” He smirked.
“As if that’s gonna shut m- hrrrk!”
He pulled it tight, the leather dug into your skin and constricted your throat. The most you could get out was a strained moan.
“Got nothin’ to say to me now, huh? C’mon, tell me how much you hate me.” Logan mocked as he pulled harder.
You looked back at him and mouthed “fuck you”.
He laughed. “Oh I will.”
He pressed the tip of his cock against your slit for a fraction of a second before sharply forcing his full length deep inside you, causing you to cry out as his intimidating girth stretched you wide. He began to fuck you at a ruthless pace, the sounds of your yelps and squeaks filling the room.
“Poor thing, am I hurting you? It’s okay, I’m only fucking you senseless.” He teased.
His free hand gripped your ass, nails digging into your skin.
“Jesus Christ, you’re so fuckin’ tight. It’s like your little pussy was made for my cock.” He grunted.
Logan leaned down, sucking your neck, leaving mark after mark, his hand letting the belt loosen.
“You’re gonna look so pretty all marked up by me.”
You rolled your eyes.
“Are you seriously giving me hickeys? Really? What are you thirtee- ngh!”
Logan pulled tight on his belt again, keeping you from finishing your snide remark.
His thrusts became more aggressive, and as much as your feelings about Logan confused you, his cock felt incredible. You moved yourself back on him and he growled in approval.
“Yeah that’s it, take this fat cock like a perfect little slut. So good for me.”
He let go of the belt, both hands moving to your hips. His pace became punishingly fast and brutal. Between his growls and the way he fucked you like a dog, he honestly seemed more animal than man.
“I’m gonna fuckin’ breed you, I don’t care if you’re on the pill or not.”
You whimpered and tightened around him at his words. He smirked.
“Oh you like that?”
You nodded.
“Yeah? You wanna get knocked up? Tell me you want it, babygirl. Lemme hear you say it.”
“I need you to cum in me, get me pregnant. Please.” You begged.
He stopped his thrusts with only his head remaining inside you. He grabbed you by the throat and pulled you up against him, pressing his chest to your back.
“Please, what?” He commanded.
“Please, sir.”
He shoved you down onto the mattress and slammed himself fully back inside you, immediately resuming his vicious pace.
“Such a good fuckin’ girl.”
He panted like a wild animal, his claws slowly extending as he grew close.
“S- shit, sorry. Happens sometimes.” He said.
You tightened around him.
“Use them on me, hurt me, sir. Please, I need it so bad.” You whined.
“Goddam, you’re a fuckin’ freak. Aren’t ya, babygirl?”
He raked his claws down your back, you moaned obscenely loud as pearls of blood formed from the long slits he’d created. The mere sensation of it all immediately caused you to cum on his cock. The feeling of you pulsing around his shaft pushed him over the edge. He grunted as he buried himself to the hilt and leaned over, biting down hard on your neck, capillaries breaking under your skin. His cock throbbed with every rope of cum he shot into you.
“Fuuuuckin’ Christ, it’s not often I find someone that’s as into the hardcore stuff as me.” He chuckled.
Your whole body shook and you collapsed onto the mattress on your stomach. Logan removed his belt from your neck and got off the bed.
“Stay there, don’t move.” He said, pulling on his jeans and leaving the room.
He returned five or so minutes later with gauze, a roll of medical tape, and a wet hand towel.
“Had to really dig around for some of this stuff, when two out of four roommates regenerate there’s not a real demand.“
Logan got back onto the bed, sitting next to you.
“So what’s it like? To not heal immediately?” He asked as he dabbed at the blood on your back.
“I dunno, I never really thought about it. I guess you just deal with the pain for a few days, weeks, or months depending on what it is until it’s fine again.”
Logan chuckled.
“Sometimes I forget just how fragile everyone else is, until the world reminds me of it again and then…” He trailed off.
You could tell there was a heaviness to the latter half of his words, you knew why. Wade had told you that in Logan’s universe (a concept which took weeks for you to fully grasp) every single one of his fellow mutants had been murdered. You didn’t know the details, but you didn’t need to for you to understand why he was the way that he was. You looked up at him.
“It wasn’t your fault.” You said softly.
“What do you-“ his brow furrowed. “What did Wade tell you?” He growled as he covered his claw marks with gauze.
“Don’t get mad, I just- I wanted to know why you act like-“
“A dick?” He scoffed, pulling out a few inches of medical tape from the roll.
“Like someone with severe trauma.”
He went silent and looked away from your gaze as he finished adding the last line of tape to secure the gauze.
“…You’re all patched up.”
You moved to get up and dress yourself, but Logan wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you back onto the mattress.
“No, c’mere. Lay back for me.”
“Do I still have to call you ‘sir’?
“It’s alright, you can call me ‘Logan’ again. This is about making you feel good, not me. I think I owe you one for being such a good girl.”
You laid with your head against the pillow and Logan began to kiss his way down the length of your body until his head was between your thighs. His lips were so close to your pussy that you could feel the heat of his breath.
“Didn’t peg you for the kinda guy that gives head.”
“You thought wrong. I’m eating this pussy until you’re shaking for me.”
His lips met your clit, his tongue rolling and circling it. You moaned and tangled your fingers in his hair.
“Fuckin’ Christ, your scent is addictive.” He growled against you, making you shudder as the deep vibrations went straight to your clit.
You bucked your hips and he moved his hands to them, keeping you in place.
“Eeeeasy there. I know it feels good, but you can’t move around like that if I’m gonna eat you out, babygirl.”
He slipped two fingers inside you, curling them at just the right spot to absolutely send you over the edge. Your breath shuddered as you tightened around him.
“That’s it. C’mon, be a good girl and cum for me.”
You gripped his hair harder as you came undone on his tongue, pulsing around his fingers.
“Fuuuuuck, Logan!”
Your back arched off the bed, he pressed a hand to your stomach, holding you down.
“No, I’m not done with you yet.”
He continued sucking and licking your clit, his fingers fucking you hard and fast. You shook, feeling a second orgasm build. Your head cocked back as all of the nerves in your body ignited in pleasure for a second time. You expected Logan to remove his mouth, but he kept going.
“Fuck, I can’t stop. You’re just too goddam perfect when you cum.”
You moaned loudly, your clit throbbing in his mouth as you came for a third time, cursing like a sailor and writhing against his tongue.
“You doing good there, babygirl?” Logan asked.
“Uh-huh.” You murmured.
At some point everything went hazy and you lost track of just how many times he’d made you cum. The more you had, the quicker the next one came, until it was one immediately after another. You were a shaking, stuttering mess.
“L- Logan, I ca- an’t keep going. I- it’s too m- much.”
“Shhh, you’re okay. Just one more time, I promise.”
He pumped his fingers relentlessly, his tongue working your clit at an equally vigorous pace. Every muscle in your body tensed as the most intense orgasm you had ever felt in your life rocked you to your very core and everything went white for a moment.
“Ohhhhh godddd, Logan. You’re gonna fucking kill meeee.” You groaned.
Logan moved himself to get on top of you, kissing you deeply.
“I’m sorry babygirl. I know I pushed you hard, but you did so well for me.” He whispered softly, holding your face in his hand and stroking your cheek with his thumb.
He laid next to you, pulling you to him, his chest pressed against your back as your post orgasm haze finally subsided.
“Never saw you as the cuddling type.” You said.
“Depends on how I feel about whoever I’m fucking, and unfortunately for me I’m starting to actually like you.”
“And what did I do to deserve that?”
“Well, you’re still a total bitch, but you’re actually pretty sweet when you want to be. I like you that way though, makes things interesting. I’ll admit when you slapped me I got so fuckin’ hard.”
“So, you’re saying I should slap you more often?”
“I’m not saying no, but just expect to lose the ability to walk after I fuck it out of you.”
“You got yourself a deal.”
He pressed a kiss to the back of your neck.
“Good. Now, there’s something you should know. Regeneration doesn’t just mean that I heal quickly.” He said, pressing the hard bulge in his jeans against you.
“Holy shit, so… we could fuck all night without stopping?”
“Exactly.”
“Then what the hell are we doing just lying here?”
Logan turned you onto your back, getting on top of you.
“Attagirl, let’s fuckin’ go.”
-
The two of you spent the whole night fucking like rabbits nonstop. When morning came you made your way to the kitchen. Logan followed, wrapping his arms around you and hugging you from behind as you made yourself a cup of coffee. He buried his nose in the crook of your neck, taking in your scent.
“I hope you know I’m never gonna get enough of you.” He said, his hands traveling underneath your shirt to your breasts.
“I swear, you’re hornier than a dog that hasn’t had his balls chopped off.” You teased.
“Yeah and you love it.”
“There you go with the assumptions again, you’re so right though.” You purred, turning to him.
“I know I am.”
His lips met yours and he lifted you onto the counter. You laced your fingers in his hair and wrapped your legs around him. Both of you were too focused on each other to notice the sound of a door opening. Wade walked out from the room he shared with Al carrying Mary Puppins.
“Judging by the NC-17 noises I heard all night I’m guessing you two had fun.” Wade said, causing you to jump and pull away from Logan.
“For fuck’s sake, do you not know when to leave people alone?” Logan huffed.
“Oh c’mon peanut, you know boundaries aren’t my forte. It’s my toxic trait.”
Logan glared at him.
“Alright alright, I can take a hint. Just try not to get any fluids on the appliances. I certainly don’t mind a little Wolvie in my coffee, but I don’t think Al would appreciate it.” Wade said, heading back to his room.
Logan turned his attention back to you, his lips brushing against yours.
“Now, babygirl, where were we?”
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