#pluralclutch commentary

[clutching-our-plurals]

Can you explain your stance on endos a bit more? /genq, we can't tell what your stance is, and we LOVE hearing about others with more nuanced stances! Plurality is too complicated of a topic to be fully anti or pro endo imo, nuance is the way to go!

Absolutely! I have no idea how long this has been sitting in our askbox collecting dust because I have no memory of getting it, but hopefully it hasn't been long! Lmao.

You are incredibly right about plurality being too complex to simply say "yeah endos exist" or "yeah no they don't," hard agree.

The nuances of our beliefs actually deviate a little from person to person in our system, some of us have our own little theories and opinions, but here are some things we all agree on:

1. Endogenic formation probably isn't a thing.

2. If the common summary of current research one day shows definitively that it is? We'd be totally chill with that.

3. regardless of whether endogenic system formation is real, harassing or fakeclaiming ANYONE is revolting behavior. I don't wanna see nobody doing that shit. Cause I'll call ya out.

4. I am civil with endos and will not invalidate their experience of plurality because my own beliefs. Will I debate with an endo? Totally, if they initiate first. If an endo says something incorrect about plurality will i correct them? Yes. Will I go and call somebody names and shit over being an Endo? No. People identifying as Endo does not affect me, or you, for that matter.

Okay. As for the more detailed thoughts, you can have those beneath the cut. ⬇️⬇️⬇️

So there seems to be two schools of thought within endogenic circles.

A. I am endogenic and disordered

B. I am endogenic and experiencing functional multiplicity.

I believe this discrepancy can simply be explained by endos not realizing that they have trauma on account of having the "don't remember, be plural" disorder. A truly shocking side effect of having a disorder that separates parts of the brain with literal amnesia, the "don't remember" disorder, is that you... don't remember!

Also, if you are familiar with the dearly beloved Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, the first stage of grief is denial. When you are traumatized at a young age, you grieve a lot of things. A childhood, your sense of normalcy, your ability to live life without fear? You grieve. That is okay. It is never wrong to grieve, my friends.

To put my own system forward as an example: I, as our host, did not know where the system came from for many, many years.

I will try and keep this vague for you, but this is a conversation about domestic abuse, please skip to the next word in RED if you do not want to read that.

As terrifying as it is, I know I may only know part of the story, even now. Before I knew what we were, I had been denying the domestic abuse I witnessed at home, and the abuse I had been subjected to myself within that home, as I had accepted those things as a normal part of my home life.

There were also great portions of my suffering that I didn't remember at all. The worst, most identifiable parts of the abuse I faced were completely wiped from my memory. How was I meant to know? Easy! I was not.

Were we endogenic because I did not remember? No, of course not. We just... didn't remember. And if you don't remember, how will you know that you don't remember?

RED

So, do endogenic systems exist? More than likely, no.

But, do they deserve disrespect and subjugation for believing they are endogenic? No, absolutely not. That's just ridiculous. Denial, is part of grief. Not remembering, is part of who and what we all are. Why would we deny someone's experience of plurality over experiencing the goddamned symptoms of it? Do y'all hear how stupid that sounds? Everyone firestarting over this is making us all look like fools.

Should endogenics be in system spaces?

Complex question, but I appreciate that about the question. Is it beneficial to endogenics to be in plural spaces, yes! The sooner they are exposed to nuanced opinions and fellow plural folks, the sooner they're likely to realize that not knowing where their system came from isn't necessarily causation, it's correlation.

Is it beneficial to traumagenics for endos to be in plural spaces? Probably not. These people are in a state of denial, and most traumagenics are looking to achieve a state of acceptance with their plurality. They don't need people in stage one holding them back.

Or maybe... the real problem isn't that at all... maybe it's more complex than just... people considering themselves traumagenic or endo...

I'm gonna spoil it for you: It's kids.

The issue isn't traumagenics vs endos, it's kids who are unable to process or form complex opinions vs adults who can. (Endo kids and traumagenic kids) Kids need to stay out of system spaces. I don't wanna see you in a space about mental health that isn't 1 on 1 with your therapist unless you are 16 years of age or older!

A. If you're younger than 13 you really can't tell all that well if you're plural or not. Your brain is still putting that shit together!

B. If you're 13 or older... you're a child! You don't need to be announcing that you are in a vulnerable mental state on the internet! You're. going. to get. Groomed. People. Are. The worst!

I would just like to say that even if you're 16 or older, you need to watch yourself in spaces like these. You are not mature. You are not the smartest in the room. You do not have the high ground, Anakin. That comes from a place of the utmost love and 20/20 hindsight, not a place of superiority or "holier than thou" attitude, I promise.

Are full grown adults (25-28 is when your brain is finished, so we'll call that full grown) also incredibly stupid sometimes? Yes. Do they have no excuse? Also yes. Will we always have people who can't form a nuanced opinion based off of fact in spaces online? Again, yes.

So what do we do about that? Block. Button. Use your block button as the Tumblr gods intended, people, please!

That's pretty much my whole stance on it. Feel free to drop more questions in my ask, no question is a dumb question, no question is too specific or too niche.

[clutching-our-plurals]

Plural culture is being terrified of ruining the host's relationships with others because you know these friends are what saved your host, and your system as a whole. These are people that you know and trust deeply, but they don't know you. To worry that they don't want or care to know you? That's a kind of heart-breaking thing.

[clutching-our-plurals]

Our Thoughts on "Final Fusion"

I just saw a post that was talking about how they believed that the only way to live a functional life with a dissociative disorder that causes plurality is to work towards final fusion. Which I don't personally believe is true, and I find this line of thinking to be more than a little prejudiced.

I think if your system decides final fusion is the way you need to heal, that's wonderful. I think if your system decides that working towards better communication and focusing on healing your parts through integration (if fusion happens along the way that's cool) then that is equally healthy and happy.

Final fusion is not realistic for every system, and is not the answer for every system.

I think some aspects of fusion can even be traumatic. Becoming someone new(that you have never been before), having to re-cope with trauma that two alters healed from separately, other headmates missing friends that fused... It's just not the answer all of the time. It's complex and nuanced and it's unfair to pretend it isn't.

The point of plurality is to achieve functionality. Our brains split to survive and live like those around us after experiencing extreme damage. We are built to thrive with the damage we have sustained, it is almost an insult to the (sure, imperfect, but also) very capable evolution of our brains.

I don't want any arguing/debating about this, and I don't want any unnecessarily aggressive responses, but if you'd like, I'd love to hear some other plural opinions about this in the comments.

[clutching-our-plurals]

*MASTER POST*

||NSFW DNI: SFW BLOG||

Top ten things to know about our beliefs before you follow this blog!

We use the block button like the devs intended, do not test us.

Antis aren't welcome on this blog, nobody wants that kind of toxicity. Ship and let ship, it's block on sight if you aren't with it pals.

We're not gonna tolerate any right wing bullshit on our blog. This includes stigma related ideals about mental health, personhood, and accessibility. This blog is run by a queer, disabled plural. Please be SO for real.

Keyword blockers are everything when navigating online

No one deserves harassment over fiction. Public figures (excluding Politicians) deserve privacy and don't deserve harassment unless they've committed some truly horrible act. (Internet drama is not a horrible act)

It doesn't matter what you're diagnosed with, it doesn't matter how mentally ill you are, you are responsible for your actions and must take accountability for them. As a host it is your responsibility to right wrongs committed in the body, regardless of whether you committed them or not.

Plurality is a spectrum.

Not all plurality is dysfunctional, it doesn't need to be "cured" it needs to be functional.

Plurality is under-researched and almost impossible to accurately research. There is so, SO much we don't know. You've no way of telling if someone is plural or not. Endos are probably plural they're likely just in denial about their trauma (anything can be traumatic for a kid, it can be hard to recognize traumatic events and remember them) and denial is not functional.

We're always open to new friends, plural or not.

Instructions on how to use the Keyword blocker below ↓↓↓

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More about us!

Suspected diagnosis: OSDD-1b

(we can't risk getting more than a confirmation from a therapist/being diagnosed on paper because our physical health is so severe. Living in America means that our healthcare is limited and prejudiced, we will not be taken care of the way we need to in the event of emergencies where we live, if we are diagnosed. As unfortunate as that is, we still plan to work with a therapist to achieve the most functionality possible for our system.)

Diagnosis: C-PTSD, H-EDS, POTS

Our DMs are always open to Chill systems or singlets with similar ideas, and we love moots and new friends. (We only bite meanies, pinkie swear)

[clutching-our-plurals]

Ohh I have a hot take/side tangent for this one!

Even if you are accepting and welcoming, getting angry at someone for not telling you that they have a dissociative disorder, that they're a system sooner, is unfair.

It doesn't matter how much we trust you, as a system, at the very core of what we are is trauma, fear, and the desperate, desperate need to survive: and when you tell someone? There is this primal, inexplicable feeling within you that screams that you are risking your very survival. It curls around you and whispers, "you have severed your own head, you consume your own tail, you have wrung your own rope."

It is horrifying to tell someone what you are: You're not just telling them you're a collection of people, you're telling them you have been irreparably wounded, you're telling them you have gaps in memory that can be exploited, you're telling them you have trauma wounds that are deep enough to shove a whole hand into. You are making yourself a level of vulnerable that a singlet will likely never, in their whole life, understand.

"I'm okay with you having DID, I just don't want to talk to or meet any of your alters."

I'm an alter too, you know. Every single time you've interacted with me, I'm an alter. Even before you knew I had DID, even before I knew I had DID, we've been speaking to each other as various different alters. To ask to only interface with one singular version of me because you find the other versions of me uncomfortable to be around is hurtful.

We have little to no control over who's fronting at any particular time. We switch a lot, that's the nature of my system. Even we don't know who's fronting all the time, not least because we're discovering new parts still all these years later.

And, ultimately, they're all me. If you've only met one version of me and like that one version of me, do you truly like me? If you've only ever gotten to know me in that particular mode, how well do you actually know me? How can you say you love me when there's all these other me's that you cast aside and ignore?

You can't say you're okay with my DID but then ask to never get to know my alters. Because, ultimately, that means you never get to know me. And that means you're not okay with my DID- or with me.