i-am-a-social-experiment

[i-am-a-social-experiment]

I thought I had hit rock bottom.

I had not.

I am here now and I can’t live like this.

I think it’s time to go.

[i-am-a-social-experiment]

My most recent advice to someone was even if you’re afraid, do it scared.

I’ve been afraid of death my whole life, but…

[i-am-a-social-experiment]

What if I just disappear?

[i-am-a-social-experiment]

June 2025.

Once a happy deadline.

Still a deadline.

Just, a different one.

[i-am-a-social-experiment]

I can’t take my anxiety any more.

I can’t keep feeling like this.

[i-am-a-social-experiment]

There’s a special kind of sadness that holds hands with emptiness as you watch the life you always wanted fragment in front of you.

When you know it’s ending, but it’s not yet, and all you can do is stare blankly.

You can’t stop it.

There’s no fixing it.

And the pain rolls in slowly, gently, like a wave on the beach.

Except it’s not poetic. It’s hell.

[i-am-a-social-experiment]

Between how fucked my life is personally and the upcoming nightmare that will be the United States, my 2025 plan is to not see 2026.

[i-am-a-social-experiment]

I don’t even care anymore.

The world can and will do its worst to me. I am a no one. No one loves me. No one misses me. No one cares if I wake up or not.

Let it be done.

[i-am-a-social-experiment]

It’s time…

I’d say goodbye but there is no one to say goodbye to.

[i-am-a-social-experiment]

At what point do you get to admit you know everyone around you is sick of you and doesn’t care at all that you’re literally on the verge of giving up completely?

[i-am-a-social-experiment]

If I left tomorrow, no one would notice.

[i-am-a-social-experiment]

My end-of-year goal is to be gone, completely.

[i-am-a-social-experiment]

[i-am-a-social-experiment]

I will tell you this as well, no one will ever love me like I love them, and I no longer believe in love because of it.

I am only here to be used. Not loved.

[i-am-a-social-experiment]

My plans for 2025 is not to see a day of it.

[i-am-a-social-experiment]

My existence doesn’t make anyone’s life better and my life is a never ending nightmare so ….what am I doing?

[i-am-a-social-experiment]

My birthday is tomorrow and all I want for it is to not wake up.