#plumbing is easy until it is very very hard

[sreegs]

i can't stress enough how much money you can save once you live in your own place by learning simple repair and DIY. since I live in the city, it's probably more common for me to encounter people who are actually fearful of picking up a drill and mounting something on their wall. however, it's so damn easy to do the absolute basics of home maintenance and DIY/hardware installation/just gotta mount something on the wall/whatever. do not think you can keep sticking things to the wall with blu-tack or tape, that shit does NOT last and you will ruin your walls with it

There's a MOUNTAIN of youtube videos that will literally save your life out there. Literally just search "this old house" and the subject you need, and you'll find the information you need. Does the video use words you don't understand? Google that and I guarantee you'll get videos that explain it. in detail. by very nice people.

even if you end up renting your whole life, you will eventually run into the need of fixing your toilet, replacing a light switch, mounting a TV on the wall, etc.

I don't want to turn this into a "home maintenance megapost" because it's hard to decide where to start and where to end. However, I have a few general tips and advice for you:

Safety first

should go without saying, but your most important tools are safety goggles, work gloves, ear plugs for loud things, and any other protective equipment that saves your eyes, fingers, etc. Even if a job is quick and simple, you have no idea when you might slip up and fling something into your eye, so just be safe every time and wear your gear.

Electrical stuff is not as scary as it looks

This is usually the most mortifying ordeal I hear from people. They're terrified of replacing a light switch. However, it's 100% foolproof to prevent yourself from being electrocuted. Apartments and houses have breaker boxes that completely shut off electricity to a circuit. All you have to do is turn on the switch/something in the outlet you want to mess with, switch off the circuit at the breaker, confirm the thing you need to repair/modify no longer functions because electricity is not flowing to it (the circuit breaker will have shut off the flow of electricity), then start your repair. Do not flip that circuit breaker back on until the job is done. That's it. Now, the details of the job are a whole other story, but wiring an outlet or a switch or a lamp is pretty darn simple. Again, youtube has endless tutorials.

You will be sloppy when you get started, just take your time

if you don't do this stuff for a living, it takes years of infrequent practice to finally get good at it. have drilled through interior walls to the other side a few times before I learned my lesson. the old adage "measure twice, cut once" is true. do it three times if you need to. and if you botch your wall drilling into it (you will botch your wall at some point) it's so easy to spot fix things like that. on the other hand, fragile stuff like plumbing need a gentle touch (i.e. some stuff you should only hand-tighten, because over-tightening can cause leaks). so it's best to take your time, check and re-check your work, and don't do something until you're confident you can do it. watch tutorials or ask a friend to help!

Use the right tool for the job

Good tools are pricey, but last way way longer and will not break on you in the middle of a job. Furthermore, it's a bad idea to force the use of a certain tool that doesn't do the job right. For example, you're trying to take something apart and you don't have the right type of screwdriver, but if you just, kinda like, wedge the bit in there... stop. Don't do it. You might end up stripping the screw, then you have two problems. Don't ever force something that's not the right fit. If it's not an emergency, it's better to wait till you have the right tool to fix it than to cut corners. Lastly, tools wear out, specifically tools that cut and drill, so you do actually need to replace those periodically

Stud finders don't work

except for that joke where you point it at yourself and it beeps and you say "yep, found a stud". that's the only time they work. If you need to find a stud, you might be lucky enough to be able to use a magnet to find the nails, but most of the time you're going to have to measure the distance from a corner (studs should be placed at a standard distance apart... however that has changed based on how old your house is). tbh this is a nitty gritty topic, and again, google some tutorial videos to help, but i just wanted to say don't waste your money on those studfinders

The type of material you're working with changes the tools you work with

There are specific tools and materials made to be used with other specific tools and materials. For example, with drills, you're going to run into different terms like "hammer drill" and "impact drill" or just a plain old "drill". Materials like concrete and brick need specific drill bits and high-powered drills like hammer drills in order to drill into them. However, a hammer drill will damage drywall and wood. Find out what your apartment or house is made of, and then figure out what tools you need to work with it.

I know this is kind of a scattershot post, and I will admit I'm definitely not an expert, but feel free to shoot me an ask about any of this and I'll try to answer

[glorious-spoon]

I prompt "what's wrong with you?" because it made me giggle even though that's probably not how it's meant! If it sparks ofc ✨

that also made me giggle, so this is... definitely not a serious interpretation of the prompt, lol.

-

"Listen," Buck says. "I can explain."

"Uh huh." Eddie sounds deeply skeptical. Buck can picture the expression that goes with it: the flattened mouth betrayed by the teasing sparkle in his eyes. He can't see that expression, unfortunately, because he is currently wedged headfirst in the basement wall along with a jagged tangle of dislodged pipes. At least one of them has ruptured, and there's a sour stink of stale water. Buck should probably count himself lucky that it's nothing worse than that, but he's not feeling especially lucky right now.

"It's not what it looks like."

"Well, it looks like you got your head stuck in the basement wall."

"Okay," Buck concedes. "It is what it looks like. But it's not my fault."

"How did you even…" Eddie trails off. His footsteps move around Buck, like he's trying to take in the whole humiliating scene.

Buck tilts his forehead against the bare concrete wall with a sigh. That makes the pipes shift slightly, but not enough that he can actually disentangle himself. "I was trying to get at the trap vent. Maddie said they've been having a weird smell coming from the bathroom sink, and I told her I could just take care of it while she was at work so she didn't have to call a plumber, and then…"

"And then the plumbing came to life and tried to kill you," Eddie concludes. He's not doing a very good job of pretending not to be laughing at Buck, here.

"You're very funny," Buck says sourly.

"So I'm told."

"No, listen, whoever did the plumbing down here was a moron who didn't secure everything right, and one of the anchors came out, and—can you just help me out, please? You can make fun of me as much as you want afterward."

He probably could get out by himself if he really had to, but not without breaking something potentially expensive. At least Eddie lives within fairly easy driving distance. His other options would have been waiting for Maddie to get home in six hours, or calling 911, and he'd absolutely never hear the end of it. Good thing his phone, which he left on the other side of the room, has voice commands enabled.

"Oh, believe me, I will," Eddie says, but he also steps closer, pressing against Buck to peer over his shoulder. "Is that big pipe anchored to anything?"

"I think so. I didn't really want to yank on it too hard and find out."

"Okay, but what if I lift here—" He leans over Buck's shoulder as he speaks. "Hang on, let me get a better grip."

And then he hitches himself against Buck, warm and solid from chest to thigh, and honestly, Buck's life is a fucking farce.

"I'm pretty sure I saw a porno that started like this once," he blurts, because he can always be counted on to make an awkward situation worse by running his big mouth. And, okay, a little bit because Eddie plastered against him like this is extremely distracting, even under the current circumstances.

There's a long silence behind him, long enough to make him wonder if Eddie is genuinely offended. If maybe he's just going to stomp off and leave Buck stuck halfway through a basement wall until the 118 can show up with the halligan to rescue him, and then inevitably tease him mercilessly for the rest of his life. Which, like, he'd probably deserve, but he hopes not. The warm weight of Eddie's thigh tenses, then relaxes, but doesn't pull back.

"Oh my god," he says finally.

"Just saying," Buck adds, pressing his burning face to the cool concrete.

"What is wrong with you?" Eddie asks, but he sounds like he's laughing. "Don't answer that. It was a rhetorical question."

"I mean. Lots, technically."

"And we are not—" Eddie breaks off with a grunt, shifting back. Something creaks ominously overhead. "Okay, here. Duck your head a little, and I think we can—"

The pipe shifts, scraping painfully across Buck's trapped arm. Cloth tears, and he winces as the sharp edge of the metal digs into the point of his shoulder, but then he's free. He stumbles backward, the torn shoulder seam of his shirt flapping stupidly, and trips over Eddie, sending them both to the floor in an awkward tangle of limbs.

"Oof," Eddie mumbles, and shoves Buck's elbow out of his gut to sit up. "You good?"

"My pride is never going to recover," Buck says, putting a hand over his burning face. Then, "Yeah, I'm good. Thank you."

"Anytime," Eddie says, reaching down to pry Buck's hand out of the way. His hair is ruffled, and he's grinning, and honestly, Buck is in hell. "Come on. I think maybe this time we can leave the plumbing to the professionals. Have you had lunch yet?"

"No, I've been stuck in a wall for the past hour," Buck grumbles.

Eddie laughs again and gets to his feet, leaning down to offer Buck a hand. "Come on. We can stop by my place so you can grab a clean shirt, and then go get lunch. My treat."

"No, come on, I'm—you drove all the way over here to rescue me, I'll buy lunch."

"Well, I wasn't gonna leave you stuck in a wall all day."

"You're a good friend."

"Believe me, I know," Eddie says, but there's no rancor in it, or in the smile he aims Buck's way. His face is still faintly pink with laughter, and his eyes are sparkling, and Buck wants to kiss him.

It's an urge that's more or less constant these days, but it overwhelms him at the oddest moments. And the thing is, he's starting to think that if he tried it, Eddie might let him.

Now is probably not the moment for it; his shirt is still damp and smelly and Eddie is going to spend the rest of the day rightfully heckling him about this. But maybe someday. Maybe even someday soon.

Eddie pauses at the door, tilting his head toward the stairs. "You coming, or what?"

"Yeah, okay, I'm coming," Buck says, and follows him up out of the basement.

[smash-64]

2023 Game of the Year Countdown #4 Atelier Ryza: Ever Darkness and the Secret Hideout Nintendo Switch, 2019

@boner-taunt recommended this game to me as a chill, low stakes, relaxing game. I picked it up on sale and then I let it sit around until I just needed a no stress experience to escape into. I desperately needed just such a game back in May and June, and this game was absolutely perfect for what I was going through. I’ll keep it short, but I had to go to the dentist three times within two weeks, had to report for jury duty, had some minor plumbing issues, got sick from vacation, and those Ohio Mario Kart 64 tournaments finally wore out their fun (and my wallet) after five or so years. And this all happened within a few weeks!

Luckily, Ryza was a great calming activity. While there is a plot, it’s not really pushed as hard as you might expect. The game’s focus is supposed to be the item creation in Ryza’s atelier, so it might be surprising to find out that I essentially hated the item creation part of this game! Luckily, there is significant customization in the game. You can make it really easy or really challenging. You can basically skip most of the item creation due to an auto-create feature, which was my savior. 

Combat was fairly low stakes at the difficulty level I chose, and you are free to change it at any point throughout the game. Combat can be pretty fun, and I actually ended up seeking out quite a few extra battles just to hear the really solid combat music, which varies throughout the game.

Speaking of the music, this is honestly an OST that I have on repeat super often at work. It’s just relaxing and easy-listening. It’s cheerful and welcoming most of the time, with very few heavy or ominous tunes, and nothing stressful. Even battle tunes are encouraging. The credits track is also a favorite. Even if you don’t play the game, I think most people would enjoy the soundtrack.

Characters are cute and mostly kind, although you definitely have a rival who hates your guts. But even he has his reasons that you’ll come to learn later on. Townspeople feel familiar and they know Ryza, which makes the community feel real and tangible. This is something that the Trails games do exceptionally well, and something I’ve come to love when other games do it as well. I found myself doing as many of the little sidequests as I could simply because each little quest came with a little bit of development from Ryza, the person asking for your help, or even other members of the town. It made Kurken Island, Ryza’s hometown, feel like a place I’d want to go to, or even live in. Far from my jury duty obligations!

I picked up the sequel on sale as well, and I’m saving it for another time I need a no stress, low stakes sort of game with cute music and a developed world.

[loominggaia]

Folkvar Kingdom

OVERVIEW

Current Leader: High King Gultopp Folkvar

Color: Red

Symbol: Broken Chains

Also known as the “Warrior Kingdom”. In the 4th Age, Evangeline Kingdom became a theocracy and imposed the Lindist religion onto its people. But many citizens opposed this change, particularly those in the northeast territories. This disagreement escalated into a civil war which tore Evangeline into two separate kingdoms. Folkvar Kingdom was founded by rebels who opposed the new religious order.

Folkvar has been at war with Evangeline Kingdom since its conception. Evangeline refuses to stop attacking until Folkvar surrenders or collapses, wishing to reclaim its old territories, but the Folkvaran people fought hard for their independence and will not give it up so easily. They hold values like freedom and honor close to their hearts.

Most of Folkvar’s territory is located along Noalen’s eastern coast, where the terrain is as harsh as the cold, stormy climate. Life here is not easy, but Folkvarans pride themselves on their resilience. The kingdom is currently bound by the Nymph Pact, though it has flip-flopped on this issue many times throughout its history.

Folkvar Kingdom is best known for its robust military, particularly its naval force. Its mountainous territories make it very hard for foreign invaders to get the upper hand, so most of Folkvar’s squabbles are fought on the sea. It is Gaia’s largest exporter of seafood and wooden ships, and one of the largest exporters of timber.

Folkvar invests so much money into its soldiers, it does not have much left over for civilians. There is no welfare system, very few citizens have access to electricity or plumbing, and civic services are spotty. Unfortunately it must be this way, as Folkvarans are still under constant threat by their Evangelite neighbors.

DIPLOMACY

HISTORY

ECONOMY

POLITICS

CULTURE

MILITARY

LAW

DEMOGRAPHICS

TRIVIA

-Folkvar’s banner depicts broken chains, symbolizing its rebellion against Evangeline Kingdom’s oppressive slavery laws.

-Its official color, red, represents the neverending bloodshed from its constant state of warfare.

SEE ALSO

High King Folkvar

Folkvaran Territories

Folkvaran Cuisine

Folkvaran Hairstyles

Ask - Folkvar

Ask - Gultopp

*

Questions/Comments?

Lore Masterpost

Read the Series

[a-vast-horizon]

Ink Demonth day 10: Creation

The room Henry woke up in was small. It had probably been a janitor’s closet, before—the door was locked from the outside, and there was still a tap in the wall over a small drain in the floor, meant for filling mop buckets. Whatever cleaning supplies had once been here had been removed, however. The only thing left in the room besides Henry himself were the posters plastered over every inch of the walls.

Some of them Henry recognized from shorts he’d worked on, while others were newer and unfamiliar, but they all shared one common thread: Bendy, front and center. No matter where Henry looked, he was met by that smiling face he’d first drawn so long ago.

His own creation, decorating the walls of his jail cell.

He lifted his hand to the side of his head, where Joey had hit him, and dried blood crumbled away at his touch. He’d been out for a while, then. The hallway outside the door sounded quiet; Henry couldn’t hear any footsteps of people passing by, or muffled chatter. 

“Hello?” he yelled. “Can anyone hear me?”

No response. The only thing he could hear from outside was a slow drip, probably from one of the ink pipes he’d seen around the Studio on his little tour. Joey was impulsive and reckless, but he’d apparently thought far ahead enough to lock Henry up somewhere he wouldn’t be heard.

Henry sat down on the floor, with no choice but to wait this out. He wasn’t going to be home in time for dinner, and Linda would notice. She knew where he was, and she was already plenty suspicious of Joey. It might take a few hours, maybe a day, but she would get the cops over here to find him and bring him home.

And then she’d tell him “I told you so!”, but that was fine. She’d more than earned that right. He’d been stupid to trust Joey Drew.

—

It was hard to tell how much time had passed. The closet had no window, no clock, and no way to overhear workers bustling about. No one came to the room, or tried to talk to him. The only frame of reference Henry had was his thirst.

It seemed like an easy problem to solve, given the faucet in the room, but when Henry turned the handle, a thin stream of black liquid poured out. He’d thought it was ink at first, but he caught a handful and spilled it onto the wooden floor to reveal it wasn’t nearly as dark as proper ink. Joey must have cut corners on the plumbing, and now an ink pipe was leaking into the water system.

For a while, he busied himself drawing on the floor with the diluted ink. He didn’t have a pen or brush, only his finger, so the results were a little rough, but it passed the time.

But as the hours passed and nothing changed, Henry’s thirst kept growing to a point he couldn’t ignore anymore. He found himself eying the faucet, weighing the pros and cons of drinking the ink-tainted water. The idea of actually consuming the blackened water was more than a little offputting, but he could practically hear Linda in his ear, “Don't you dare dehydrate to death over a little ink.”

And, to be fair, it wouldn’t exactly be the first time he’d consumed ink; he’d absent-mindedly tucked the wrong end of a pen into his mouth more than once before.

So Henry steeled his nerves, caught a little water from the tap in his hand, and drank it. It tasted bitter, like he expected from ink, but also metallic, probably from the pipes. It was icy cold, too, which was welcome; a few hours of occupancy had rendered the closet quite stuffy and warm. He sipped a few more handfuls of water, until his thirst had died down a bit. 

The workday at the Studio was probably ending soon, even with as late as Joey insisted people stay. Maybe then Joey would come to explain exactly what he was trying to do here, why he’d locked Henry into a closet. That could be his chance to get out; he’d never been very good at talking Joey out of his wild plans, but could probably muscle his way past him if he opened the door.

Despite the circumstances, Henry had to admit he was getting more than a little curious about Joey’s reasoning. The other man had always had some wild ideas, but Henry couldn’t even imagine the Joey he knew doing something like this. Had Joey gone completely off the rails since Henry left, gone insane? What reason could he possibly have for keeping Henry prisoner like this?

—

Joey didn’t come to the closet until the next morning. Or at least, Henry assumed it was morning; he’d drifted off to sleep at some point, curled up uncomfortably on the closet floor. He was back to idly drawing on the floor when Joey knocked on the door.

“Henry?” he asked. He didn’t open the door; apparently the knock was just to announce his presence.

“What the hell are you doing, Joey?” Henry demanded. 

“I’m revolutionizing animation,” Joey said.

“By locking me in a closet?”

“Not for long!” Joey said defensively. “I just have certain… preparations to make, and I need to keep an eye on you while I make them.”

“I’m not going to draw for you again,” Henry warned. “Especially after this.”

“And I’m not expecting you to!” Joey said. “This goes beyond drawings, Henry. Do you remember the first time we finished a reel?”

“I finished the reel,” Henry spat.

“The first time you finished a reel, then. Watching it back on the projector, seeing Bendy come to life for the first time there on the screen?”

“… what are you getting at?”

“I want to bring our cartoons to life on more than just a reel of film, Henry. To animate them all the way off the page and into the real world. Bendy, Boris, even Alice—walking around with everyone else!”

Henry couldn’t help but laugh. What Joey was describing might make some deep part of him spark with excitement, but it was also pure nonsense.

“You’re insane, Joey,” Henry said. “That’s not possible!” 

“It’s not easy, but it is possible,” Joey protested. “I’ve found spells, rituals, able to bring a new being into the world, given the right materials.”

“Even if that’s true, where do I play into all this?” Henry asked. “I’m not going to help you.”

“I don’t need your help,” Joey said. “Just your heart.”

“My heart?”

“Life cannot come from nothing,” Joey said. “There is an element of sacrifice needed for the ritual, from someone with a connection to the being that will result. And no matter how long it’s been, I know every creator holds a soft spot for their first creation.”

“You sick bastard. You’re insane, Joey, are you really going to kill me trying to bring a cartoon to life?”

“Oh, I’ll do more than try,” Joey said. “I am going to succeed, whatever it takes.”

Henry’s blood ran cold at the words. Joey sounded so confident, so certain that he would do the impossible. Henry couldn’t convince him otherwise, and he couldn’t get out of here. All he could do was hope Linda could get him out of here before Joey did something irreversible.

(Read and follow on AO3 if you have an account!)

[ryansholin]

Video workflow in 2023 is easy! Just do these 19 things…

Make vertical video a priority because phones exist.

Spend your budget on headphones instead of speakers, so pointing the phone camera at the monitor makes for terrible tinny sounding videos.

Don’t feel like editing a video, really.

Look up how to capture computer audio, screencast style.

Realize QuickTime is the answer.

Realize QuickTime and a third-party plugin is the answer.

In parallel, get frustrated and suspicious about using various “free” video conversion sites, since you know you’re going to end up with an .mov that needs to be an .mp4.

Vaguely remember teaching people how to do that step in the year 2007, and be sad about it still being a challenge, yet impressed that some of the same video conversion sites and services still exist.

Start installing ffmpeg

Realize you haven’t done much development on this computer yet, and watch it “brew update” all the things. Like, everything. Like, do I need Python and Ruby for this?

Meanwhile, the answer to your video conversion challenge is actually (still/again) Handbrake.

Get the audio plumbing right in Ableton; tomorrow you will forget you did this and be very confused as to why you can’t hear anything.

Record your screencast video for the eleventh time.

Convert the video.

Airdrop it to your phone. Airdrop is working today, so you don’t need to email yourself the file.

Walk away from the computer as the last error message appears in Terminal.

Post the video to Instagram. (This part isn’t that hard.)

Refresh obsessively until you fall asleep.

Think about how to make this into content for Tumblr.

[blogzone]

Cracking the Code: Understanding Your Water Hardness Levels for Healthier Living

When was the last time you thought about the quality of your water? If you're like most people, you probably haven’t given it much thought—until you start noticing issues like scale buildup on your faucets or spots on your dishes. If this sounds familiar, it might be time to crack the code on your water hardness levels. Understanding this aspect of your water can be a game-changer for your health, your home, and your wallet. In this guide, we’ll break down everything you need to know about water hardness levels and how they impact your daily life.

What Are Water Hardness Levels?

Water hardness levels refer to the concentration of calcium and magnesium in your water. Hard water contains higher levels of these minerals, while soft water has fewer. Water hardness is usually measured in grains per gallon (mpg) or parts per million (ppm). The higher the number, the harder the water.

Why Should You Care About Water Hardness Levels?

You might be wondering, “Why does it matter if my water is hard or soft?” Well, there are a few reasons:

Health Impact: Hard water isn’t harmful to your health. The minerals in hard water can be beneficial. However, extremely hard water may cause skin dryness and irritation in some people.

Home Appliances: Hard water can lead to mineral buildup in appliances like dishwashers and water heaters, reducing their efficiency and lifespan.

Cleaning: Hard water can make it harder to get things clean. Soap and detergents don’t lather as well in hard water, which means you might need to use more to get the same results.

Plumbing: Over time, hard water can cause scale buildup in your pipes, which can lead to clogs and reduce water flow.

How to Determine Your Water Hardness Levels

Determining your water hardness levels is easier than you might think. Here are a few methods you can use:

Water Hardness Test Kits: These are available at most home improvement stores and are relatively inexpensive. They come with easy-to-follow instructions and can give you a good estimate of your water hardness levels.

Professional Testing: For a more accurate reading, you can hire a professional to test your water. This is especially useful if you have complex plumbing systems or are dealing with high levels of hardness.

Check with Your Water Supplier: Sometimes, your local water supplier will provide information on water hardness levels. Check their website or give them a call.

What Do Different Water Hardness Levels Mean?

Understanding your water hardness levels can help you decide on the best course of action. Here’s a general guide to what different levels of hardness mean:

Soft Water (0-60 ppm): Soft water is easy on appliances and plumbing. It lathers soap well and doesn’t leave behind scale. If your water falls into this category, you likely don’t need to worry much about hardness.

Moderately Hard Water (61-120 ppm): This level of hardness is common in many areas. It can cause some scale buildup but is usually manageable with regular maintenance.

Hard Water (121-180 ppm): Hard water can cause noticeable issues with scale and soap scum. You may need to consider a water softener if you’re experiencing problems.

Very Hard Water (180+ ppm): This level of hardness can be quite problematic. It’s likely to cause significant scale buildup and may require a more aggressive approach to water treatment.

Solutions for Managing Hard Water

If your water hardness levels are causing problems, there are several solutions you can consider:

1. Water Softeners

A water softener is a device that removes calcium and magnesium from your water, effectively making it soft. There are several types:

Salt-Based Softeners: These are the most common and use salt to remove hardness minerals.

Salt-Free Softeners: These don’t remove hardness minerals but rather alter them to prevent scale buildup.

Dual-Tank Softeners: Ideal for larger households, these systems have two tanks to ensure a continuous supply of soft water.

2. Descalers

Descalers are devices that use various methods, like electromagnetic fields or chemicals, to reduce scale buildup without removing hardness minerals. They can be a good alternative if you don’t want to use a traditional water softener.

3. Reverse Osmosis Systems

Reverse osmosis systems are more comprehensive and can remove a wide range of impurities, including hardness minerals. They are often used in conjunction with other systems for the best results.

4. Regular Maintenance

Even with a water treatment system, regular maintenance is crucial. Make sure to clean your appliances and plumbing fixtures to prevent scale buildup. Regularly check and maintain your water softener or descaler according to the manufacturer’s instructions.

Benefits of Managing Your Water Hardness Levels

Managing your water hardness levels can bring several benefits:

Improved Appliance Efficiency: Soft water helps appliances run more efficiently and last longer, saving you money on repairs and replacements.

Cleaner Dishes and Clothes: You’ll notice cleaner dishes and softer, brighter clothes with less soap and detergent.

Healthier Skin and Hair: Soft water can be gentler on your skin and hair, reducing dryness and irritation.

Lower Energy Bills: Appliances that run efficiently use less energy, which can lead to lower utility bills.

Final Thoughts

Cracking the code on your water hardness levels can make a big difference in your daily life. Whether you’re dealing with hard water issues or just looking to optimize your water quality, understanding and managing your water hardness can lead to a healthier, more efficient home.

Don’t let hard water sneak up on you—take action today to ensure your water is as soft and effective as possible. If you’re not sure where to start, consider testing your water and exploring the various treatment options available. Your appliances, your skin, and your wallet will thank you!

By understanding your water hardness levels and taking the right steps to manage them, you’re investing in a healthier and more efficient living environment. Here’s to better water quality and a happier home!

[yourmikecounsilplumbing]

How to Flush your Water Heater

Of all the chores that homeowners need to do, flushing the water heater is one that many people overlook. Do you know how to drain and flush your water heater? It's not very hard, but it does need to be done annually to prevent mineral buildup and help your water heater last longer. Note: some people recommend doing this every six months in areas with hard water, and if you live in the San Jose area, that probably applies to you. Here are some easy steps if you’re ready to give it a shot. - First, turn off the cold water supply to your water heater. The valve for this is typically near the top of the hot water heater. - Turn off the power to the hot water heater. The way you’ll do this varies based on the type of water heater you have. If it’s electric, you’ll need to turn the power off at the circuit box. If you have a gas water heater, turn the thermostat on the tank to off and close the gas valve to the tank. - Connect a garden hose to the water heater’s drain valve. The valve is a water spigot on the bottom of the water heater. Attach a hose and direct it outside or into a bucket. If you direct it outside, make sure it’s directed far enough away from your foundation. - Turn on your hot water taps. If you don’t want to turn them all on, open one on the main floor, or on a higher floor than your water tank. Turning them on all will help your water tank drain more quickly, though. - Open the drain valve on the water heater. Keep it open until all of the water has run out of the tank. Depending on the size of your tank, this can take between 20 and 60 minutes. Never force the valve open or closed because this can damage it. While the tank is draining, look at the water that’s coming out so that you can get an idea of how much sediment was in the tank. - Turn the cold water valve back on. This is the “flush hot water heater” part of the process. Rinse the tank by allowing cold water to run through the tank and out of the hose until the water is clear. - Clean out the drain valve. You can open and close it a few times to get rid of the sediment, used compressed air to push the remaining sediment back into the tank, or use a shop vac to suck it out. - Close the valve and refill the tank. Turn on the cold water valve and refill the tank with water. When it’s full, your hot water taps should start flowing. If the water flowing from them seems discolored, don’t worry- it’s just a little bit of additional sediment working its way out. Let them run until the water is clear and then turn them off. - Turn the heater back on. Either turn back on the power or the gas. Check to make sure your drain valve isn’t leaking, and you’re good to go! You can certainly flush the hot water heater yourself, but if you’d rather not, you can call on the professional plumbing contractors at Mike Counsil Plumbing and Rooter to provide stellar plumbing service with a smile. Since 1994, we’ve served San Jose, California, and the South Bay Area, building a reputation on excellent service and a 100 percent satisfaction rate. Our family-owned and -operated company is committed to exceeding our clients’ expectations, and our staff is kept up to date on all the latest advances in the industry. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, we’re available to take care of plumbing issues that can’t wait. Call 408.705.4820 or contact us through our website to learn more. Read the full article

[debouchageegout2155]

Learn the Benefits of Utilizing Hydro Jetting Services

The way to Unclog Your Piping Plumbing problems can be quite a key head ache for property owners. There is nothing worse than using a stopped up water pipe, and it can be far worse in the event you don’t learn how to unclog it on your own. Fortunately, there are plenty of things you can do to unclog your water lines without needing to contact the professionals. Continue reading for your top tips about how to unclog your débouchage egout!

Plungers One of the most typical approaches to unclog your plumbing is to use a plunger. Plungers function by making use of suction and tension to dislodge obstructions in drainpipes, so that they are good for clearing out blocked sinks and bathtubs. To utilize one particular, first be sure the empty is utterly covered off before plunging vigorously many times. If this doesn’t function, you can attempt by using a bellows-type plunger which includes a lot more suction power power.

Cooking Drinking water Another basic approach to unclog your pipes is as simple as boiling hot drinking water. This technique works best for modest blocks caused by fat or locks build-up because it assists break up the clog. Boil a container water about the stove and slowly fill it down the sink while simultaneously working very hot water out of your faucet. Accomplish this 2 or 3 periods and see if it does the trick! Just make sure to not use boiling hot water for those who have PVC piping as it could cause harm.

Baking Soda and Vinegar This tried-and-real strategy has been used for decades to remove out hard to clean clogs in kitchen area kitchen sinks and restroom drain pipes likewise. The compound effect between preparing soft drink (a base) and white vinegar (an acidity) assists breakdown any natural and organic materials which might be resulting in the blockage, including soap scum or fat build up. Begin with preparing 2 cups of baking soda pop down the sink accompanied by 1 glass of white vinegar. Connect within the drain having a wet cloth then let rest for ten minutes before eliminating with very hot water through your sink until obvious.

Bottom line: Unclogging pipes isn’t always easy but luckily there are many approaches you can test before contacting in a skilled plumbing service! Whether you go for plungers, boiling hot normal water, cooking soft drinks & vinegar, or one of many other choices accessible, with a little luck this information has offered you some tips on how to handle those obstinate obstructions yourself! Best of luck!

[soniasawyer]

How in order to Unclog a Twin Kitchen Sink Using Dishwasher

If you're wondering how to unclog a double home drain, you've are available to the correct place. You've very likely realized that your double sink drain looks to be back logged by food contaminants, but don't realize how to get it clear. Thankfully, there are several easy ways to solve this kind of problem. Here are usually some of the most popular solutions. After you have tried them all, you can actually keep your sink free of any mess!

Remove the pipes

First, disconnect the particular pipes. You may need to consider them outside to be able to remove the accumulation. Once the piping are detached, use a plumber's fish or a wire coat hanger to get rid of the particles. You may want to wash the water line outside if typically the buildup is specifically stubborn. Next, operate water throughout the empty to test typically the clog. When clear water comes out, you've successfully unclogged the drain. If not, repeat typically the test several conditions until it's clear.

Use making cookies soft drink

Found in some cases, typically the drainpipe may become clogged with sauces and other materials. You can use baking soda to get rid of them by possessing the curved part up against the drainpipe. This specific will help clean out the drainpipe and the clogging. If if you're using a hard time doing this, you can try a different approach. Nevertheless , if zero of these methods work, it could be moment for a professional plumber.

An additional solution is a white vinegar and baking soft drink mixture. This answer can simply unclog the double kitchen sink with dishwasher. You can also employ hot water to keep the plumbing clear. If all else fails, you can also try pouring hot water down the drain to unclog typically the sink completely. Typically the baking soda mixture will clear your clog and support prevent future clogging. Alternatively, you can certainly also try using a variety of vinegar and baking soda, but always remember that the mixture should be clean!

Then, you may use a plumber's snake, furthermore known as some sort of drain snake. This kind of is an improve from a plunger and works by dislodging the block from the water line. After removing the particular clog, you must place the trap back in place. Once you have done this, you can run hot drinking water through the pipes and even test the money ability of the particular snake.

Use a coating hanger

If you cannot find the block, it's likely within the drain pitfall, which is a new U-shaped part of the drainage water line. To remove it, unfasten any fasteners which hold it inside place. In case you still can't take away the capture, try using some sort of coat hanger to enhance the blockages from the pipe. After almost all, this step will unclog the complete double sink.

Find the right level regarding water

Using a plunger is usually another effective way to unclog a twin gold kitchen sink. You need to make certain you use the plunger using the correct size and variety. Put three to four ins of water inside of the clogged strain before trying this process. If you're unsure from the size of your sink, a person should run that until you get the right amount of water. Once you have reached this levels, vigorously pump the plunger to force the clog out of the sink's drain. Once typically the water swirls, the particular clog should have got been removed.

[waterworkscanada22]

Put Waste As An Alternative

Hopper projections have to be to the acute left of the mounting slot. If the mount ring is tough to show, you may add a small amount of liquid soap to the hopper projections . Now you can slide down on discharge elbow gentle plastic gasket and tight clockwise with plastic nut to the outlet plumbing pipe. If you power provide does not embrace a floor wire, you must provide one until metallic cable is used. Attach a copper wire securely to garburator ground screw and connect other and of wire to a reliable ground.

All plumbers had been punctual, courteous and, most significantly, knew their craft. Like most meals scraps, if it’s a small piece or a number of left on a plate after your meal, it ought to be fine to run via the disposal. Bones, nuts, pits, and other onerous food scraps are too powerful for disposal blades to chop through. Fats and grease are one of the essential gadgets to not put down a garbage disposal. It can additionally be important to notice that cold water will help carry any surprising fat down the drain pipes, preventing you from any future complications. As plumbers, we all know just how frustrating it's to have a damaged, smelly rubbish disposal.

Avoid starchy foods corresponding to pasta or rice, as they soak up water and broaden inside your pipes. Stringy fruits and vegetables can put on down the blades by wrapping themselves around the blades. Hard gadgets that you simply can’t break down along with your enamel, such as bones and seeds, ought to by no means go down your disposal both. Garbage disposal items are a useful and clean method of letting the drain and water take care of meals waste. There are additionally kitchen sink disposals that deliver a quieter performance than commonplace fashions. Choose between a wall switch for normal installations and a sinktop swap, which is right for kitchen islands.

Lets think about the previous first, as this is the half that we now have control over. Arrived at my residence inside a couple of hours and rerouted a sump pump drain line for my renovation. He made a reasonably difficult job, that involved drilling a hole by way of my stucco wall , look fairly easy. Unfortunately he was stung by a small nest of wasps that have garburator been disturbed in the course of however labored through the situation with professionalism and cleaned up the work area earlier than departing. I would definitely recommend Lone Star based on this experience.

We suggest utilizing considered one of our technicians to verify the installation is completed appropriately so your warranty isn't void. This rubbish disposal adapter is manufactured from scratch-resistant industrial grade premium stainless-steel for optimum durability. Make your kitchen a modern, eco-friendly hub of the house with InSinkErator®’s garburators and sizzling water dispensers. Talk to Kitchen and Bath Classics or Wolseley Studio consultants to find a solution that’s right for you. A permit may be required in order to set up your rubbish disposal.

There might be some standing water in the provide line, so put together to both catch the spillage in a small pan or to soak it up with a sponge. If needed, plan for the water line to run by way of cupboards, above storage and behind drawers to stop damage to the line. If there isn’t an independent water provide line, you’ll have to use one that feeds the sink or dishwasher. Locate this connection, preferably from a vertical water supply pipe, then map the shortest path from the provision line to the rear of the fridge . In addition, if food waste leads to the lake it can trigger high nitrogen degree issues, which is why garbarators are banned in some areas.

Jory additionally did an incredible job putting in our subway tile again splash. We extremely recommend BPM to anyone on the lookout for an electrician or home services as you're very professional, expert and go above and beyond to verify every little thing works and looks unbelievable. A garburator is a handy kitchen device, but not when it makes your complete garburator kitchen smell like a compost pile. If your unit is emanating a foul odour, there’s most likely some kind of blockage within the pipes, or within the unit itself. If that is the case, you’ll need a garburator repair technician’s help to take away, disassemble, and totally clear the unit, as nicely as clear the pipe under it. We’ve been in business for over 50 years and have installed numerous garburators in residential properties.

See our on-line specials on new garburators (installed from $249). Try to cut bigger pieces of meals into smaller bits and put them down the garburator one piece at a time to forestall clogs. Simple repairs can take DIYer many hours to identify and full, so embody that into the expense if you decide to deal with the problem yourself. Having a professional plumber, such as Miller Plumbing and Drainage, can diagnose and restore garburator the problem and assist in the discovery of different components that are about to fail. Trees and vegetation like water, and their root systems can grow into your service connection pipe through joints or cracks within the pipe. If you favor to scrub your cookware right away, pour fats, oils and grease in a compostable container and put the container within the compost bin.

Frequently cleansing your garbage disposal helps to ensure the blades and drain are clear of any obstructing materials. One of one of the best methods to scrub the rubbish disposal is flushing it down with some vinegar and baking soda. Never use any cleansing chemical substances similar to bleach or a chemical drain cleaner, as they may help harden grease and eat by way of your plumbing.

InSinkErator Evolution Series disposals characterize the best commonplace in efficiency. Simply put, they are the best grinding, quietest line of disposals we now have ever made. However, some cities elsewhere are looking at the means to do extra with the food scraps of their recycling system. It may seem like a nice way to wash out your disposal, however bleach and other harsh chemicals are corrosive and can truly injury your drain. RPG Calgary is led by a group with 10+ years of economic and residential plumbing experience.

[getvalentined]

What I needed to do: replace a fill valve in the guest bathroom so the toilet would stop hissing.

What happened: I replaced the fill valve, the toilet stopped hissing. Flushed to test, and it started leaking around the base, meaning the wax ring was probably cracked. Removed the toilet to access the wax ring (which needs replacement regularly because the floors of this house are about as level as the surface of the ocean during a hurricane) and discovered standing water and a visible mess of roots in the pipe. That explained the backing up and leaking around the wax ring, so I snaked that, only for the level of standing water in the pipe to begin rising rather than draining. Figured out that the water was rising because the faucet in the bath leaks and it runs through the same part of the main line as this toilet, so it was water from the leaky faucet backing up into the toilet pipe. The only way to turn off water to the bathtub is to turn off water to the house, so I turned off water to the house. Attempted to snake the pipe to clear the clog, a task at which I failed. The water level continued to rise because there was water left in the space between the tub and the toilet pipe that was still draining, so I had to bale that using a combination of empty water bottles and ancient towels. I worked at the clog for over an hour with assistance from my brother, and then my sister, and we succeeded at absolutely nothing. I had a breakdown and we called my parents, who own the house. My dad said he'd be by soon with a better snake. I plugged the tub and turned the water back on to the house so that we had, uh, water, and the faucet went from its earlier state of "dripping consistently" to "unstoppable pencil-width stream." I was less concerned about this because I just got new faucet handles, specifically because the cold tap is kinda fucked up and hard to turn, so I went to install those. This is an easy task, very simple, just two screws and some torque. I tried to remove the old cold tap knob and stripped the screw, rendering it stuck forever. The faucet was still running. I had a(nother) breakdown. My mom called back to let us know that Dad broke a tooth recently and it was hurting him really badly, and on top of that his blood pressure had spiked way up, to the point that him bending over to mess with the plumbing could be physically dangerous. This was to let my sister and I know that Dad wouldn't be over until tomorrow. At this point it had been almost six hours since this all started. My sister and I filled up some buckets with water and turned the water to the house back off entirely, which is how it will stay until this is fixed.

I hate this fucking shoebox that I live in.

God damn do I hate this fucking shoebox that I live in

[cyle]

Yo what's identities

tl;dr: it's my internal codename for a very ambitious project to fix all of the issues with primary and secondary blogs on tumblr. the project is not actually in flight right now, it's been on the shelf for years.

gs;wm:

as you probably know, and lots of tumblr users know, primary and secondary blogs are pretty confusing. you can only like/reply as your primary, you can only make a secondary/sideblog private or have more than one member, but you can reblog and post and send messages as your secondaries, etc etc. the logic table of what you can do per blog on your account is weird, to say the least. we get feedback about this all the time.

this is a holdover from how secondary blogs were originally built: they were just tacked on to the existing user model, via your primary blog, at a time when tumblr was growing super fast. behind the scenes, your secondary blogs are the same data model as your primary blog, but the actual relationship they hold is with your primary blog, not with your account. so it's like your secondary blogs are "children" of your primary blog, rather than being siblings, as one would probably build it today if we could do it all over.

and there's a lot, lot, lot of code and plumbing that relies on this assumption, so it's not as simple as just fixing that problem and magically having the ability to like/reply/follow/etc as a sideblog. this stuff is very very old, from the time when tumblr was a blogging network first and not a social network, so it made sense then. it doesn't make sense today, from a product point of view, if you consider tumblr a social network first.

the most basic "fix" for this could be a simple account switcher, like other platforms have, but this wouldn't solve the problem for existing users who have tons of sideblogs they may want to "swap" their primary for, or reply/like as, or whatever. you'd have to make a whole new account, and/or we'd have to do some magic on our end to detach all of your sideblogs and make them into separate accounts for you, which would be pretty jarring.

personally i think that account switcher option is pretty lame: we can do better.

instead of an account switcher, i think it'd be much more interesting to be able to "act as" any of your blogs within the same interface, kind of like how fast reblogging lets you quickly choose which blog you're reblogging to. messaging lets you pick which blog you're sending as when you start a new conversation. why not have the same option when long-pressing on the like button? or the follow button? or the block button? there's some discoverability to figure out here for sure, but it's surmountable.

and this leads to some other interesting potential changes to how someone could use tumblr via multiple proper blogs, like having a different dashboard per blog. different set of likes per blog. a more straightforward way to break apart how you curate your experience on tumblr. easy to just throw away your old blog when you wanna restart, without having to make a whole new account. hence, you'd be able to have "identities", rather than a primary blog and sideblogs.

sounds neat, right? i think so. but it's a fair amount of work to get this done. a lot of untangling has to happen. it's totally doable, it's just tedious. some of the pieces are already in place on the backend, we just haven't picked up the rest of the work. it's hard to prioritize this because, while it sounds neat, the number of people who would actually use it is probably pretty small -- but we'd never know until we try.

anyway, that's identities on tumblr. ✨

[vexicwrites]

Prompt: only one bed, terms of endearment

Pairing: Selina Kyle x GN!Reader

Warnings: sickly sweet fluff, gratuitous use of the word “baby”, and a lot of pining

It had been years, years, since you’d gotten to spend any time with Selina. Moving from Gotham to Blüdhaven for work had been a good choice, but a hard one as it meant leaving behind the people you’d considered family. Sure, you talked on occasion, but it was nothing compared to seeing them in person, so when Selina said she was coming to Blüdhaven you jumped at the chance to offer her your spare room until she could find a place of her own.

Unfortunately you also forgot in your haste that your landlord was fumigating the entire building starting the day she’d arrive. Of course. So now you were left in the dingy motel your landlord had graciously offered to pay for. $35 a night for one double bed, a TV from the 70s that looked like it might catch fire if you turned it on, and a bathroom with questionable plumbing–how very generous. At least they didn’t mind the cats.

“Don’t worry about it, baby,” Selina purred as she let Isis out of her carrier, “I wasn’t planning on invading your place for long anyway.”

You fought back a blush at the term. Selina always called people she cared for ‘baby’, it was nothing new, but for some reason it felt…different lately. At least over the phone she wouldn’t have seen you get so flustered.

“Yeah, maybe, but if it was my place your cats would have more room to roam and you’d have some privacy…”

You trailed off as Selina crossed the small room and took your face in both hands. You were sure she could feel it burning, especially with that sly smile that played on her lips. Stop staring at her lips, you thought, that’s creepy.

“Baby, it’s fine, okay?” Selina insisted as her cats wound their way around your ankles. “It’s fine. I swear, this is more than enough for a few nights. One bed can fit two adults and a few cats easy, so stop worrying.”

She dropped her hands and turned to set up a small area for the cats’ food but that didn’t stop your blush from growing. Of course, two adults were perfectly capable of sleeping in the same bed without it turning into anything or meaning anything in particular. Even if one adult has a clearly massive crush on the other. It doesn’t have to be anything more than two friends sharing a bed for a night. Though it certainly didn’t help when Selina stripped to her underwear and a tank top before climbing into bed. You were sure you had to be at least six shades redder than normal.

“Come on, baby, I don’t bite hard,” Selina teased, gesturing for you to join her under the covers.

“Yeah, okay, just a minute.” You disappeared into the bathroom to change into a loose nightshirt, nearly tripping over the litterbox Selina had set up in your haste to splash your face with cold water and calm yourself.

You finally joined her when you were sure you were calm enough and it didn’t take long for the two of you to be pressed together thanks to the cats who demanded more and more space. You didn’t even have a pillow anymore, one of the cats stretching out on yours so you had to share with Selina. You opened your mouth to offer to sleep on the floor instead so she could have some personal space but before you could actually say anything she’d wrapped her arms around your waist and laid her head on your shoulder.

“Is this okay?”

You wanted to tell her of course it was okay, this is everything you’ve ever dreamed and you wished you could stay like this forever. Instead you responded, “yeah, this is fine.”

You felt her smile against your shoulder, “goodnight, baby.”

[chiclet-go-boom]

we are baby tenno! zooming around, firing our little guns and aspiring to greatness!

and as you've just discovered, doing the quests is not a way to power specifically. there is stuff locked behind the quests that will give you access to things, but the quests themselves rarely hand out anything that you can just plug and play.

for the record, i did Second Dream yesterday because I told you I'd get it done this weekend and that was a blast. I ran into a bug on the 'get the Eye to do the work for you' part of things that I had to restart to make work, with a different frame than the one i was using for the first run, but i got there.

that was really excellent, i can see why everybody likes it so much. the visuals were top notch. you have no idea how long i spent in the chair, tweaking things.

also, the helminth room? :D

I have to grind rep on Deimos myself. I stopped playing just as that came out so I'd started opening the planet but never completed it so that's also languishing half done and no rep to speak of. same with Orb Vallis - tried working on Waverider and I suck at tricks.

EDIT:

Okay, one thing I was going to talk about and then got sidetracked...

Warframe is not a game where, ten years after launch, they've fast tracked the beginning stuff to allow for new players to catch up quickly to the veteran players.

That has not happened, that will likely never happen. Things might be tweaked to be somewhat less like smashing your face into the wall, but all they've done is added memory foam padding on some corners that used to scrape you to ribbons and now is just general bruising.

There are mods that you do not get until you have logged a certain number of days, and those how-many-times-have-you-logged-in do not go faster. there are very good mods that have crappy drop rates. there are mods that only are available through a special trader that only shows up every so often, with a rotating drop table. There are mods that only drop from eidolon bosses in the open world. There are mods that you can only get through one system that requires you to 1) be in a clan and 2) that clan has to have a certain laboratory built.

this is system upon system upon system to deal with, with so many frames and so many weapons that use them in various ways that its really, really hard to focus on one single thing to get to god rank. i am a slightly better baby tenno because i did do some grind-work to get some build-specific mods through various nodes and various syndicates, did a bunch of trading for them, and sometimes just outright bought a few when i was plumb exhausted.

Warframe is not easily understood and it does not explain itself well. Its still one of the best games out there, i recommend everybody try it, but it rewards time, effort, and yet more time and its very easy to get lost and then be a tenno-corpse buried under the latest patch.

So, here’s where I’m at right now in Warframe.

Keep reading

[shyficwriter]

You're Not Broken, Ya Hear Me?

Guardians of the Galaxy fanfic | Yondu x Reader, guest starring Peter and other Ravagers

Summary: Based off a prompt from my friend @giulscomix where Reader is coming up on a rite of passage involving having her first sexual experience and is very nervous because she doesn't wish to partake, because she's just not interested in sex at all. (i.e: Reader is Ace or Demi) She opens up to Yondu about it after he finds her hidden away and crying about it and he helps her with her problem, making her realize she isn't broken. Inspired by and using lines from this scene in Netflix's Sex Education series.

Author’s Note: Fic is SFW. Sex is talked about (obviously), but no sexual scenes occur. This also takes place in an AU where Yondu never broke the code (yet still has Peter, make that make sense lol) and therefore was never exiled from the other Ravager clans. Also, this is a long one, probably should have broken it into chapters, but here we go lol

Word Count: 10,189

The nervousness inside you grew with every passing day. You were almost seventeen- you should be happy about this! Not filled with dread about what turning that particular year would mean. You glanced at the calendar from your bed. Only three days left.

There was a rite of passage that every young man had taken before you, and would take long after you. They all whooted for joy when their time came, but you couldn't find the enthusiasm to do so, although you did your best to fake it. And as the day grew closer, the more you had to fake it.

Maybe it was because you were the only female Ravager on Yondu's team? Or maybe that had nothing to do with it. Maybe you were just... broken? Why couldn't you just be excited about this like everyone else? That thought made your chest ache as you pulled on your boots.

You didn't want to do it, this stupid rite of passage. No, it wasn't exactly like you'd be forced into a room until you "did the deed," However, you knew to refuse would be to cement your reputation as a lame prude who wouldn't know fun if it crawled up her ass. But still, you really didn't want to.

After all, who would want their first time to just be some random fuck for the sole purpose of "Becoming a man/woman" and an "official part of the crew."? Yes, you wanted more than anything to be accepted, like Peter or the others, but you wanted your first time to be with someone you loved and cared for. Now, this isn't to say that you weren't currently a respected member of the crew, but things were just... different. You knew things would change if the others knew you didn't want to go through with it. You'd be less "one of the guys" and more "the chick with the stick up her butt." You didn't want that.

You stood and took a deep breath, readying your facade before leaving your quarters to make your way down to breakfast.

As always, there were many other Ravagers also making their way from the crew quarters down to the mess hall. And, just how it had started happening the closer it got to that dreaded date, you'd encounter someone looking to congratulate you with a clap on the back, saying things like, "Ayy! How many days is it now? Bet ya can't wait, huh?" or more often, high-fives and fist bumps as your crew mates cheered you on for your upcoming "big day."

You took it all in stride, just like every other day. Big smiles, return the high-five, maybe throw in some finger guns, toss in an affirmative and that you "couldn't wait."

But each time you died just a bit inside. How long could you put on this charade? You knew you wouldn't be able to go through with it. What was going to happen then? What would the rest of the crew say when they found out? Normally it wouldn't be such a big deal for so long, when other guys came of age it was usually forgotten by the others after a few days. However, you were going to come of age the very day of the next scheduled shore leave, which was going to happen in just a few days, and for some reason this just bred excitement among your peers and they wouldn't drop it.

You tried to put these thoughts out of your head as you entered the Mess Hall and got your breakfast.

Today you got to eat in relative peace, the attention being taken up by the story Narblik was telling about his last job on an icy planet and how he hadn't been sure he'd make it back when the blizzard hit. It was when you got up to turn in your tray and leave when a few other's started back up again.

Scrote whooped when he saw you stand, crying out a "Get 'em!" at you and someone else shouted back that you were "Gonna be a man!" until someone shouted back at them "She's a girl!" earning an apology and a correction that you were "Gonna be a woman!" that earned some laughter from the others. You knew the laughter wasn't directed at you, they weren't insulting your looks. Some species on the ship just had a hard time getting genders right because the concept of gender just wasn't a thing on their homeworlds.

You passed Horuz and a young green man named Rahi who high-fived you with an "Ayyy!" as was becoming the custom greeting for anyone wanting to congratulate you on it being almost your big day. You returned the greeting. He had just turned 17 three days before along with another young man he often ran around with, and you heard him talking with some others (There were about 5 or 6 of you all either about to turn the big 17 or who recently had since the last shore leave 3 months ago. It was an abnormally large amount of young people coming of age this time around, which you suspected was further reason why some were making such a bigger deal about this upcoming shore leave.) about being excited for shore leave, as that's when they'd be able to 'become men,' aka, would be able to find a whore to screw. Younger crew often had more of the cleaning jobs aboard the Eclector, and unless assigned with an older crew mate, didn't get to go on many away missions where they could try and woo a willing partner, and even then, Yondu liked quick turnarounds on jobs so there wasn't a whole lot off "goof off" time without being reprimanded. There was no real rule about screwing crew mates either, but most avoided it just in case things got weird after. Easier to just bang someone random on shore leave and then get back to work. No muss no fuss.

Horuz teasingly asked if you had any studs picked out yet and you just laughed and said "Ha, one of these lot? You're joking!" as you put your tray away.

You heard Yondu playfully scold the two from a couple tables over, telling them, "Oh, leave the poor girl alone, yer embarrassin' her!" as he laughed. Horuz just shouted back, "Aw now, I didn't even get to tell her about Oblo here's first time!" This was met with Oblo, who was sitting nearby, choking out a "Hey!" and punching Horuz in the arm.

Kraglin laughed now, "I think she's already heard that one! Let's not ruin anyone's meal now."

You shivered. You had heard the story before. It involved a broken member and many stitches. You weren't looking forward to hearing it again. "I'm out!" you say, looking for a way out of this conversation. "Got work to do." With that you turned and started to leave the mess hall.

"That's what I like to hear!" Yondu laughed from behind you. "Some of you lazy gits should start acting like her, don't wanna work unless yer told to." He knew you were just escaping having to hear the story again, but he wasn't going to miss an opportunity to razz up some of his crew.

You finally make your way out of the mess hall and allow your grin to fall. You run a hand over your face, making your way toward the laundry where you had been assigned to repair one of the machines. You were grateful it was both early in the week as well as early in the day as you entered the room. Most of the crew waited until they were completely out of clean clothes to do their washings, which typically resulted in most of the crew crowding the laundry at the end of the week, so you were sure to have at least an hour or three alone to yourself.

You made your way to the back left-hand corner of the room towards the broken machine. It should be an easy fix, the complaint was that it wasn't draining properly, so you figured it was just a clogged drain hose.

Upon opening up the machine you found you were right. it was just a clog. You retrieved a plumbing snake from a nearby supplies trunk and got to work fishing it out. Unfortunately this menial task gave you enough time to dwell on your problems rather than engaging your brain enough to force them into the back of your mind.

You kept thinking the word "broken" over and over. You couldn't get it out of your head how you couldn't bring yourself to just be excited over something everyone else seemed to love.

Your chest tightened. "Broken.. Loser..." Why couldn't you get over it? Why didn't you have these feelings like all the others?

You latched onto the clog and worked to pull it out. "

Broken..." Why was this so hard? "Broken... Stupid... Wrong..." What was wrong with you? "Stupid... Broken..." Why couldn't you just be like everyone else?!

With that last thought you pulled the clog out with an audible "Pop!" that almost made you fly backwards. You looked at it in disgust and dropped it into the nearby trashcan before re-attaching the hose and sliding down to the floor. No one was going to show up to the laundry this early, might as well take advantage of this time to wallow in your own misery.

That's what you told yourself at least. In truth you could feel tears burning your eyes and didn't want anyone to see you cry. Better to let it happen alone than risk another crew mate seeing you and thinking you were weak.

What you didn't know was that Yondu was also well aware of his Ravager crew's laundry habits, and took advantage of the empty communal laundry room at the beginning of the week to wash his own laundry undisturbed. He made his way down after breakfast, actually having forgotten he had assigned you to fix one of the machines, and was therefore quite surprised to walk in on you sat in the corner crying.

"What d'we have here?" he asked, more puzzled than anything. He never once seen you cry, which now that he thought about it was rather surprising. He saw grown men cry at least twice a week, most of them Peter, but still. He tried to cover up any concern with humor. "Did Halfnut leave his dirty drawers in the machine again? Smell's bad enough to make anyone cry."

You had been startled when he first walked in and you were currently trying to quickly straighten yourself up. "Nothing. Sorry Captain." you said, not looking him in the eye as you bent down to pick up the plumbing snake. "Nearly done here." you say, unable to hide a sniffle.

Yondu plopped his laundry basket on one of the long steel tables running up the middle of the room and sighed, turning to walk towards the door.

You look up in surprise as you heard the lock engage.

He looked at you, arms crossed, and said, "Ya really think I'm gonna buy that? Yer not leaving here until ya spill it. Now what's wrong? Somebody bein' mean to ya? Yer feminine-ly cycle -or whatever it's called- hurtin' ya again?"

You blushed and gave him a sharp look before placing the plumbing snake back where you found it.

Yondu rolled his eyes as he moved his basket over to a machine and tossed his clothes in. "Fine, be that way. But I meant what I said. Ya ain't leavin' til we sort it out. Might as well talk or it's gonna get mighty borin' in here." He turned on the machine and hoisted himself up to sit on the table, patting the space beside him.

You begrudgingly approach, not meeting his eyes, and lifted yourself up to sit down on the table.

"Now what's wrong?" he said again.

You fix your gaze on your lap and sigh. "You're just gonna make fun of me." You say sadly.

Yondu smirks. "Maybe. Still wanna hear it though." Upon seeing your face fall further he elbowed you and said, "I'm jus' kiddin'! What's the long face?"

Your eyes remain down and you quietly say, "I... don't wanna do it."

Yondu raises an eyebrow. "What?"

"I don't wanna do it." you repeat.

"Ya dun wanna do... what?" he asks in confusion. He at first assumed maybe you didn't want to do your assigned morning task of fixing the machine, but it seemed like you had already finished it, so he had no idea what you could possibly mean to even begin to be angry for any disobeyed orders. Also, he doubted he found you crying over something as silly as not wanting to fix a washing machine.

"It," you say, "You know, IT." you make a crude gesture with your fingers, forming a circle in one hand with your thumb and index finger and inserting the index finger of your other hand in and out of it, to hopefully get the point across.

Yondu's eyes widen a bit. "Oh!" he says in surprise, before continuing in confusion, "I don't get it? Ya seemed just as excited as could be a bit ago?"

"I've been faking it. Don't want the others to make fun of me."

"Come now! They won't ma-"

He's cut off by you giving him another sharp look. He looks forward again and nods, sighing, "Yeah, yer right. They will."

The two of you were quiet for a couple moments before Yondu awkwardly broke the silence. "Ya mind if I ask why? Like are ya scared or somethin'?" he looks at you with a raised eyebrow, slight concern painting his features.

He remembered his first time. As a battle-slave he didn't exactly see much action; the Kree weren't exactly fond of the idea of their battle-slaves reproducing or having any fun; and by the time Stakar freed him he was in his twenties. It was shortly after when with some other young Ravagers that the subject came up and he admitted he had never done it, only for his mates to excitedly cheer that they were taking him with them on shore leave so he could "become a man." He had been nervous, though he never expressed it out loud, not wanting to appear weak. He knew they meant well, but screwing a random whore just to fit-in and say he had wasn't something he had exactly been looking forward to, however peer pressure had encouraged him to go through with it. It wasn't too bad, he realized, but even knowing that he himself had come to enjoy the act, he always remembered the knot in his stomach leading up to his first time, and hearing you say that you might be scared of doing it made a similar knot form, only higher in his chest and feeling more like... pity? No, that wasn't quite it. Empathy? Yes, that was probably more accurate. Damn sentiment.

"It's not anything like that... it's just... I don't feel anything like that. I'm not even sure I'd know what that feeling is. It's just not there. I'm not scared, or even disgusted, I just feel... nothing."

"I'm not sure I follow..." Yondu said honestly. He supposed you feeling nothing was better than you being scared, but he still didn't quite understand.

"Ok, like, imagine you're surrounded by a feast, with everything you could ever want to eat, but you're not hungry. That's how I feel. I just don't want any of it," you said. Your voice cracked as you continued, "...and it's just so frustrating. Everyone else gets to be normal, while I just don't feel... anything. I don't want to do it-with anyone. When I think about it I feel nothing- it's like I'm broken." You covered your mouth, still not meeting Yondu's gaze as you tried to hold back frustrated tears.

Hearing you say that you thought you were broken tore at Yondu's heart. He wrapped an arm around you tightly and said in a firm voice, "Ya listen here. Yer not broken. I don't wanna hear that again. Look here."

You reluctantly do as he asks.

"Yer not broken," he said again, his face stern. "Sex doesn't make a person whole, so how could ya ever be broken, girl?"

You inhaled sharply as fresh tears pricked at your eyes. You hadn't realized until then that that was exactly what you needed to hear. You quickly wrap your arms around him, burying your face in his chest to hide your tears.

Taken aback at he sudden gesture, Yondu patted you on the back comfortingly and returned the hug. Good thing he locked the door. He doubted that any of his crew would be bothered to wash their clothes this early, but still, it would halt the possibility of new rumors that he was "going soft on the Terrans." He honestly wasn't sure he'd sleep tonight if he had to scold you for crying to save face with his crew right now.

You pulled back almost as soon as you went in, straightening up and quickly wiping your eyes.

"Feel better?"

You nodded.

Yondu sighed, "What to do now..." he said thoughtfully. "Ya know, I never actually liked this whole 'rite of passage' thing, to be fully honest. Crew just gets too wound up. Yer not the first to have reservations 'bout it. Handful of lads have come to me over the years, confiding that they were nervous, but scared of being bullied by the rest of the crew if they didn't go through with it. I suspect there might have been more, but were too scared of lookin' weak to tell their captain. I guess I can understand that."

Surprised by this honesty, you asked, "What did they do?"

"Faked it. They'd go on shore leave, pay a whore to put on a good loud show, yelling and banging on the walls 'n stuff, then lap up the congratulations of the rest of the crew for 'becoming a man.'"

You were further surprised that any of the the crew would have been that open with their captain to admit faking it. "Really?" you ask. "They told you about it after?"

"Who d'ya think told 'em to do it?" Yondu said, huffing a laugh out his nose.

That makes you smile, though you aren't quite sure why. After a moment of thought you say, "If you don't like the whole thing, why don't you stop it?"

Yondu sighed. "I don't think I could if I tried. It's widespread over all 100 Ravager factions. Doubt it do well to tell one faction they couldn't participate. Enough of them look forward to it they'd probably riot." Yondu laughed sardonically. "Not that I haven't thought about trying to steer the culture around it in a different direction. I can tell some of my older crew have the same thoughts, even if they won't admit it."

"How do you know if they never said?" you asked.

"The way they keep passing off horror stories as funny tales to the younger crew. Or did ya miss the story about how Vorker-"

"Nope! Heard it!" you cut him off suddenly. "I remember! I don't need to hear it again, please!" You held up your hands almost as if defending yourself from hearing it again, eyes wide. You most definitely did not need to hear a retelling of the time Vorker caught something very nasty off a girl he met on a job and the details that came with it. There were some rumors that it was how he really lost his eye, but you weren't sure of the truth behind those claims.

Yondu chuckled, patting you on the back. His expression changed when he said. "That's prob'ly what ya should do."

You raised an eyebrow at him.

"Fake it, I mean." he clarified. "Ya should wait til ya want to do it, with someone ya want, if that should ever happen. Not just go through with it to fulfill some dumbass rite of passage." He stared off into the space in front of him. "I can't really see another way to go 'bout it." he admitted. "If I called out for a change among the crew now they'd no doubt see the connection, think I was going soft 'cause yer the only girl here, and then it'd blowback on you. I ain't gonna let that happen." He gave you a look that you understood without him having to explain further. He actually cared about you, in a way similar to how he cared for Peter. He didn't want to see you hurt or bullied over something stupid like this.

You nodded in understanding, returning your gaze to the floor.

"Next shore leave is in a few days. I'll take care of it." Yondu said, his words surprising you.

"What?"

"Consider it a gift." he said, lightly punching you in the arm as he said, "Don't say I never gave ya anythin'."

"I don't understand?" you say, lightly laughing in confusion.

Yondu dramatically rolled his eyes and said, "Guess I gotta spell it out fer ya... I'll arrange for a "fake visit" from a nice whore-bot for ya. It actually costs more for them to fake it, if ya can believe it."

You stared at him, speechless. "I- thank you?" you finally say, blushing. You give him another quick hug.

"Ya, don't get used to it." he replied in his usual gruff fashion when you released him, but you knew better. The old softie.

Just then the machine buzzed, alerting that Yondu's clothes were finished washing. He stood from the table to switch them into a nearby dryer. Once done he turned back to face you. "Well, ya probably got other duties ya need to get to. Better get on 'em."

You smiled, giving him a mock-reluctant, "Yeah," before following him to the door.

You weren't expecting what happened next.

Yondu opened the door and exited, you following out behind. The hallway was no longer empty, and you heard the same young man from earlier, Rahi, call out from a group of two other Ravagers, "Ow Ow! Looks like she finally lost it to the Captain!"

No doubt he thought he was being funny, but he really, really, shouldn't have done that.

Yondu's whistle pierced the air, his arrow quickly finding its way to rest against Rahi's throat. "Ya wanna try that again?" Yondu growled.

Rahi couldn't find any words, just babbled out incoherent nonsense as he nearly shit his pants. The other two Ravagers in the group weren't laughing, just cowering with their friend afraid they'd be next once Yondu finished with him. Other crew mates standing within the hall also stopped to stare in stunned silence.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't run my arrow through ya for speakin' to yer captain like that? Even worse offense for implying I'd screw around with a child." Yondu's eyes were dark and full of rage. Even you were a bit frightened, enough to almost let the child comment slide, and you weren't even the target.

"Dude! He's so old! Ew!" you shout over to the terrified young Ravager, hoping to help the situation by making it clear that nothing like that was ever going to be a thing. And, if you were to be honest, slight payback for Yondu calling you a child.

Yondu whipped his head around to you, and you caught a momentary expression of "You little shit!" before he said, "And don't ya forget it!"

He turned back to Rahi. "I'm waiting." he said, still glowering and crossing his arms expectantly.

Rahi was still busy freaking out. It looked like he was about to cry. He eventually managed to squeak out a, "I'm sorry!" among his pleas for Yondu not to kill him.

Yondu called back his arrow. "That's what I thought. For yer smart mouth you and the other two there are gonna wash the outside of the Eclector, and yer all gonna keep at it until the whole ship's clean." With a smug smile he added. "Guess yer all gonna miss out on shore leave."

This obviously didn't go over well with Rahi's friends, who were now glaring and smacking him at the back of his green head. The next shore leave after the upcoming one wouldn't happen for another 3 months.

"Ya heard me. Git going. And yer still all responsible fer yer other duties too." Yondu added.

The three young men begrudgingly started making their way past when Yondu stopped them again with an, "Ah, Ah, Ah." making them turn back, dreading what else he might have to add.

"I think ya better apologize to this young lady too, for thinking she'd want her first time to be with someone so old." He looked at you pointedly as he said this and you squinted back at him, a nervous giggle escaping your throat as you rubbed the back of your head. Shouldn't have spoke up and called your captain old, now he was going to have to make an example of you as well for mouthing off. "Yer gonna be cleaning out the brig for that one, missy." he said, loud enough for everyone else to hear. Had to make it look good, after all.

Rahi muttered out an apology before scurrying away with his now very irritated mates, but not before Yondu cried out after him with a, "I'm startin' to think some of ya are gettin' a lil' too wound up about this lil' rite of passage among ya young-ins. It'd sure be a shame if you were the reason I decided to put an end to it." He said this with a thick veil of warning. It was a threat, and one you hadn't expected to hear after the conversation you just had with him.

It was clear that no one else in hallway had expected to hear this from their captain either. Looks of shock were exchanged among the Ravagers in the hallway. Rahi and his buddies' eyes all widened in shock when his words finally sunk in and their scurry turned into a sprint to get away before they could make things even worse. That comment Rahi made had apparently pissed the captain off bad.

"What the rest of ya staring at?" Yondu said, startling the rest of the hallway dwelling crew into motion. "I know ya'll got shit to do, get on it!" He looked at you and cocked his head as if to say "Get moving." and you obeyed, making your way toward the brig to complete your extra cleaning duties.

Yondu did his best to hide a smirk as he made his way down to his quarters. He knew rumors would start spreading like wildfire about Rahi nearly causing Yondu to put an end to the rite of passage after that display. It was bound to piss more than a few of the younger crew off. He didn't care much for the lazy shit anyway, so it was better the crew think he was the reason for any upcoming changes rather than you, and if it succeeded in helping him end the whole culture around that particular thing, even better. They really did get too wound up about it.

***

The morning of shore leave came and you were nervous as hell. Yondu had pulled you aside the night before to let you know he had taken care of what he promised, and described the whore-bot he paid to help you fake it so you would know which one to accept. Still, even knowing it was taken care of you couldn't help the growing pit of nervousness in your stomach, though you did your best to hide it.

Since clearly the Eclector couldn't dock on the planet, being about a mile and a half long and all, Ravagers on shore leave would pool together on M-ships for the journey to and back, kind of like a funny buddy-system.

As per usual, you pooled in a ship with Yondu, Kraglin, and Peter along with Tullk, Oblo, and Horuz. Yondu and Kraglin sat up front to pilot, Tullk, Oblo and Horuz filled in the middle, while you and Peter got put in the back, as always.

While the older men laughed and carried on in front of you, you felt Peter nudge you in the arm. You looked over to see him looking at you with a raised eyebrow. "You ok?" he asked, having noticed how you were unusually quiet and fidgety.

"Yeah, I'm great." you lied, "Never better."

Peter rolled his eyes with a knowing smile. "Don't give me that. Are ya nervous?" he asked, obviously knowing full well what everyone expected you'd be doing on this shore leave. "You can tell me. I won't tell anyone."

You gave him a look, saying, "No!" before coming clean with a, "Fine. A little." as you turned your gaze down into your lap to fidget with your watch some more.

"It'll be ok," he assured, "I was a little nervous my first time, too," he admitted. Peter was a few years older than you at 20, and it was hard for you to picture him having been nervous about it, seeing as he now seemed to be trying to work his way through every cute girl in the galaxy.

"Really?" you asked, eyeing him skeptically.

"Yeah. I mean, I was still super excited, but I was a little nervous too. Those horror stories the older guys tell us really get to you."

You giggled with him, remembering what Yondu had told you the other day.

Peter continued, "But anyway, you're gonna be fine. But I did want to give you this." He pulled something out of his jacket pocket and handed it to you. It was a condom.

"Peter!" you whisper-shouted, blushing.

"Hey, if you're gonna do it, I wanna know you're being smart about it. Always use protection. Even with the Love-bots. Can't ever be too careful." He held his hand out more insistently.

You blushed harder and accepted the gift, even though you knew you wouldn't be needing it. "Thanks."

"Come on now, don't get all frowny on me. I'm just looking out for you." Peter teased, aiming a few pokes at your ribs, knowing it always got a good giggle or two out of you.

It worked. Giggles escaped your throat as you twisted in your seat and swatted at his hand, "Quit it!" you squeaked, but his mission was accomplished anyway, you were smiling now.

"There we go!" he teased, grinning at you.

"Shush!" you replied, sticking your tongue out at your friend and laughing when he flicked you in the arm for it. Soon enough the two of you were in a slap battle. You weren't really fighting, and neither of you struck with the intent to hurt (well, not much anyway) it was just how the two of you played sometimes. This carried on until you heard Yondu announce that you all had made it to your destination, and then the nervousness started to creep back into your belly.

Peter and you were the last off the ship. Yondu and the other men headed off, leaving the two of you to your own devices with calls to behave yourselves, but "not too much" *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*

You almost wished he had stuck around longer, but you knew he had already done his part. It would look weird if he stuck around to hold your hand, so to speak. You look to Peter, wanting to stall just a bit longer. "So, ya hungry?"

"Figured you'd want to get right to business," he teased. He knew you were probably stalling, but decided to go along with it anyway rather than abandon you straight away. You had been here before, but he knew this time was different. This time there was a pressure to do something new, and you had already admitted you were nervous about it.

"Uh, can't do it on an empty stomach," you say, forcing a smile.

He ruffled your hair. "Good point. I'm starving." He suggested you two grab some fries at the nearby bar inside the brothel (the whole place was the brothel, let's be honest) and you followed him.

When you both had finished you tried to think of something else to stall, maybe play some pool? However, you never got the chance, for a whore-bot with green hair and looking to be around your age came over to your table to greet you. It was the one Yondu told you to look for, and it asked if it could "show you a good time." You looked nervously at Peter who shot you a thumbs up while trying not to laugh. You glanced back at the bot and tentatively nodded, which Peter took as a sign to high-tail it out of there, leaving you alone. The bot asked for your ID, as you knew it would, and part of you wished you "forgot" it back on the ship, knowing that the bots were programed to refuse service to anyone under the age of 17 and required ID of younger-looking patrons to prove it.

After scanning your ID, the bot took you by the hand and flirtatiously led you across the room to a set of stairs. You began to hear some cheers as you ascended the stairs behind the bot and you were blushing too hard to even attempt to ham it up for their benefit.

Once in the room the bot turned to you. "I understand this isn't meant to be an ordinary engagement. Mr. Udonta left instructions to only perform counterfeit coitus, correct?"

You blushed and nodded, taken aback by the professionalism of the sex-bot, before wondering if you were being rude by assuming otherwise.

"Have you done this before?"

You shook your head, still blushing.

"It's alright. There's plenty of time to figure it out. I've been booked for three hours."

You sputtered. "Excuse me?!" you cried, trying not to be too loud. "Three-? What are we supp-"

The bot gave a laugh and held up its hand. "Do not worry, Miss. I was paid extra to deliver that joke. Mr. Udonta felt it would be very funny. I've only actually been booked for an hour, the standard amount of time."

You let a sigh of relief. You still felt that an hour was going to drag on, but at least it wasn't flarkin' three. "So, what do we do?"

The bot took your hand again and led you to the large bed in the center of the room. "Lie down here." You looked at the bot nervously and it clarified. "The noises will be more realistic if both our weights are on the bed."

You did as the bot instructed and it climbed over you. "I understand this may be awkward, but I'll ask that you trust the process. I will do this," the bot began to rhythmically rock its body back and forth, each rock ending in its hands hitting the headboard and making it knock into the wall behind it. "and then you can start making moaning sounds, you can repeat after me." The bot then started moan, encouraging you with a gesture of its hand when you were too busy blushing to follow the lead. You did your best to mimic the sounds. "We shall continue like this for 10 minutes, and then rest." the bot instructed, ushering you again with more hand gestures when you paused to give it a puzzled look.

After several minutes the bot prompted you to get louder, and then louder again still a few moments after. You realized it was coaching you to simulate you approaching the climax and you got nervous again, not knowing what to do when "that moment" was meant to happen. The bot read your face and told you to relax, just follow it's lead as it thumped against the wall faster and it moaned louder.

You followed its lead until it told you to make a last few loud "Oh's!" and then it began to slow its thumping before coming to a stop.

Whoops and laughter could be heard from the bar outside the door shortly after, and you blushed harder as the bot crawled off of you. "We will now have a few minutes of rest before beginning another simulation."

You sat up. "So we'll just keep repeating like this until the time's up?" you asked.

"Not quite," answered the bot. "We'll change things up a bit, different positions, different sounds, helps to keep it interesting."

"This seems like a lot of work?" you say.

"Yes, well we're paid to put on a show here. Might as well ensure it's convincing," the bot answered with a shrug and a smile.

You winced as you realized you could hear similar noises you had just faked coming from the rooms next to yours and then more whooping and cheering once they, too, stopped. "The walls are kinda thin in here, huh?" you say awkwardly.

The bot smiled sympathetically, "It seems that way, but not really. Only the louder noises make it out. Normal conversation levels are typically left unheard from outside the rooms, so you're clear to speak freely if that was a concern."

"Good to know," you say. You honestly had been a little concerned about that. "So, do we just sit around then?"

"I could give you a massage, if you'd like."

"That... actually sounds really nice. Sure, thank you." You accept the offer, realizing you could use a little stress reliever. "What's your name, by the way?" you ask, feeling a bit guilty for not having asked the bot's name before then and wondering if you should feel silly about that or not.

"You may call me Finn," the bot answered, not seeming fazed in the slightest. "Would you prefer to remove your clothes or leave them on?" The bot- Finn- motioned for you to turn around to give it access to your back.

"Um, clothes on, please?" you say, reaching for your zipper. "But I'll take off my jacket."

"Alright." The bot said, it's tone not caring in the slightest, and you supposed it very likely didn't care one way or another. It went straight to work, starting slow by gathering your hair and pulling it back and up almost as if it were going to tie your hair in a ponytail, but instead of securing an elastic it just repeated this motion a few more times. It was actually very relaxing, and it made you wish you had someone around to play with your hair more often.

With a final gentle tug the bot moved one hand to your forehead while the other worked at the back of your neck, kneading where the nape of your neck met your skull, making you close your eyes and sigh deeply.

To your delight the bot then threaded its fingers through your hair, scratching gently at your scalp. A soft hum escapes you as you stopped yourself from leaning into to touch out of shyness, and you almost let out a whine when the scratching stopped. However, you were soon soothed by the bot beginning to knead into your neck and shoulders.

You had just barely stopped yourself from moaning once when the bot then pressed into another spot that made it impossible to not make a sound, though you tried. Finn speaks up. "Let yourself relax fully," the bot encouraged. "It's alright to allow yourself to be noisy here, may even work to your benefit under the circumstances."

You giggled slightly and blushed. Finn was right, after all. If there were any time to just let go and relax it would technically be here and now. Before you could think much further Finn had dragged the knuckles of each thumb up each side of your spine with just the right amount of pressure to coax a genuine moan out of you, surprising you as it happened. You had never really realized before just how much stress your work as a Ravager took out on your back. You began to wonder if these Love-bots were also designed to be professional masseuses, because Finn seemed to know exactly what they were doing, and it was amazing.

Finn ended the massage a bit later by working back up your back and working their fingertips back into your hair for a last bit scalp massage.

You were almost disappointed when it ended, but when it was over you turned to look at the Love-bot. "Thank you, that was really nice." you say.

"Anytime." Finn smiled. "We still have twenty minutes left, shall we begin another simulation?"

You sighed. "I suppose. He paid for an hour, might as well act like I'm using it." You smiled, not feeling quite as bitter about the situation anymore after the massage. Finn really did have magic fingers. Or state of the art massage programing. Probably the latter.

"Indeed." Finn answered. "After all, there are no refunds."

You let out a slight chuckle at the bot's bluntness. "Alright, so what now?"

The next simulation involved you both standing on the edge of the bed with the wall to hold your balance as you bounced slightly up and down to make the bed squeak. The bot encouraged your to make similar noises as before, but to also throw out some curses, like, "Oh! Fuck!" It even did the same, occasionally calling out a "Yes! Right there! Oh, yes!" that made you raise an eyebrow. You had to fight from giggling the whole time at the situation. It was pretty funny after all. You were both jumping on the bed like children.

When that simulation had finished you sat down on the bed and looked at Finn. "Do you guys... er...-bots?... feel anything?" you asked, referring to the language the bot had used earlier. "Or are you just supposed to say stuff like that as an act?"

"We don't have nerve endings, and therefore we don't really 'feel things' like you might, but there are certain sensors that can be activated during a session with a client and prompt a correct response. However, as this session is only a simulation, I suppose you can call my dialogue 'acting.'"

You half-grinned when the realization of the bot's words hit you. "Are you saying... you're like a 'sexy' arcade game?" you say, trying not to giggle, before becoming suddenly afraid that might have been offensive. "I mean- obviously you're not a toy- I mean- I didn't mean to offend you."

The bot chuckled. "There's no need to worry. There are certain similarities, one could see how you might draw that conclusion."

You blushed again and attempted to change the subject. "So... what are we going to do with the last simulation?"

"You have a couple options. We can simulate against the door, or we can simulate bending over the bed. We could also simulate oral, but the noises you made during the massage more or less already worked in its favor."

You blushed at that. You already knew the door was out of the question, as you had an admittedly irrational fear that it might pop open as you were faking the deed. "We can try over the bed."

"Very well. This one will require less movement of you, you may remain seated there." Finn said as they stood up and moved to stand with their legs between your own. "This one may also be a bit awkward," the bot warned, "as it requires thrusting into the bed on my part. Ready?"

You nodded hesitantly and the bot began a steady rhythm of motion against the bed, making it creak.

The bot was right. This was more awkward, and you were grateful when it was finally over with about five minutes to spare.

You stood from bed and grabbed your jacket. "Thanks. This wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be." you said truthfully. In fact, you really almost thought you'd come back if for no other reason than to get another back rub.

"You still have five more minutes, is there anything else I can do for you today?"

You smiled shyly and said, "Well, I won't argue if you play with my hair again..."

***

You were of course greeted with congratulatory cheers and high-fives when you exited the room along with the other few crew mates who had recently come of age... and had still been allowed to attend shore leave that is. R.I.P Rahi and his friends. (They hadn't died, but you can bet they were probably really regretting pissing Yondu off.)

A few fellow Ravagers bought you some congratulatory drinks and the rest of the night seemed to fly by.

Eventually you caught back up with Peter and shortly after that Yondu announced it was time to head back, which of course received some disappointed grumbling among the crew. However, nobody argued, knowing it might cost them their next shore leave if they got "fussy like toddlers" as Yondu would say.

You and Peter got back to the ship to find Tullk and Oblo already there waiting. Horuz showed up just after and sighed to see Yondu and Kraglin weren't there yet. Yondu and Kraglin were the only ones with keys to Yondu's M-ship, so you all had to stand outside and converse among yourselves as he took his sweet time getting there.

He was probably just paying the Sneeper woman who owned the place and would be there any minute, but 'any minute' still felt like forever when it was cold.

Eventually he and Kraglin did show up and unlock the ship so you could all get in.

Once inside the ship and mostly everyone had strapped in Kraglin called back to you from the co-pilots seat with tipsy laughter in his voice. "So d'ya have fun? Feel any different? Any horror stories to add to the list?" He looked teasingly at Oblo and Oblo flipped him the bird.

Yondu swatted at him, saying, "Aw, leave the girl alone," but there was also laughter in his scolding, so he wasn't that serious.

You answered anyway. "Ya. Had a blast, Kraglin. Smooth sailing. Just a little sleepy."

This made the other men chuckle, though you weren't entirely sure why, although you could guess.

Yondu piped up. "If she falls asleep Quill's gotta carry her in."

Peter scoffed with a laugh. "Why do I gotta?" he said, before turning to you to add. "You better not fall asleep then."

"Well if you fall asleep I ain't carrying you in! Probably break my back if I tried. You can just stay sleeping in the ship." you laughed back.

"Why you little!" Peter cried out with a grin, aiming to poke you in the ribs, but you dodged him, returning a swat of your own to his arm. And, like on the way over, the two of you were engrossed in another slap battle. The others just let you two carry on, busy with their own conversations and laughing amongst themselves.

Eventually you and Peter did tire yourselves out and Yondu chuckled to the other men when after docking the ship he noticed you had both fallen asleep, curled up in your respective seats. Oblo snapped a picture, cooing, "Aw look! Ain't that precious!"

"Send that to me." Yondu said with a grin. "Might blow it up, hang it in the Mess Hall." This earned a laugh from the others. He looked at Tullk with a grin before exiting the ship. "Ya better wake 'em. I'm sure as hell not carryin' them to bed."

***

The next morning Yondu was alone in his quarters when he decided to call up Stakar.

After a few rings Stakar's face comes up on the screen, and the two men give a Ravager salute in greeting before Stakar asks what's brought Yondu to call him.

"I wanna talk to ya about that whole coming of age and having sex thing."

Stakar raised an eyebrow. "What about it?"

"Younger crew just get too wound up about it. It ain't healthy." Yondu responded.

Stakar still looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"Ya know what I mean." Yondu said firmly. "They get all wound up like it's the most important thing in the world, and it's because everyone makes a big old deal outta something silly like that."

"It hasn't been a problem before?" Stakar said thoughtfully. "What's changed? It's that Terran girl isn't it? Of course. She just came of age." Stakar shook his head. "I don't care what you say, you're soft on her and Peter. You can't get attached and let them influence your judgement like that, Yondu."

"No, it ain't like that," Yondu said, trying to cover his ass and continuing before Stakar can interrupt him. "It's got nothin' to do with them. I just can't have my crew bullying their mates just cause they don't wanna fuck yet or lettin' the whole thing get to their heads makin' them all disrespectful-like. Almost had to keel-haul a few boys who suddenly thought they were big enough to start disrespecting their captain over it."

Stakar looked at him suspiciously. "No, we can't have that... What do you propose then? It's not like we can stop them. You tell young people they can't do something, they're only gonna do it more."

"I know that- Look. I'm not sayin' we do away with it entirely. I could care less what they do on shore-leave. But we can maybe make them realize it's not such a big damn deal. Ya know, slow-like. Maybe they'd stop getting so wound-up about it." Yondu said, quickly adding, "If they're less focused on that maybe they'd work harder."

Stakar thought for a bit. Yondu was right, he thought. He had noticed the younger crowd getting a bit wound up about it, and sometimes they did let the excitement get ahead of their duties... "Maybe you're right," he conceded. "If it's affecting their jobs maybe we should try and change the culture around it... I'll talk with some of the other captains and get back to you."

Yondu grinned and nodded. "All I ask."

***

You felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. It was the day after shore-leave and no one had brought up how you "Became a woman" at all. It was as if the previous week's excitement had been completely forgotten, and you couldn't be happier.

You did notice in the following days that Rahi seemed to be getting a bit of flack. He hadn't been particularly well liked before, always trying to push his duties off on other crew mates or blaming others for things he had broken, but now he was practically a pariah. Even his buddies didn't seem to want much to do with him, though that could be because they were still mad that they had been dragged under into his punishment despite not having done anything to deserve it other than be with him at the time.

You almost felt bad for him until Peter explained that along with the 'written' rule that Ravagers don't deal in kids; harming or forming inappropriate relationships with children and teens (i.e: having sexual relations with younger crew) was also a HUGE no-no. Even worse if the offender is someone high-ranking. Rahi, though he just thought he was being funny, had more or less unwittingly falsely accused Yondu of breaking that part of the code with the joke he made, hence why Yondu had been so offended and pissed. Peter was honestly surprised Yondu had let him live after that.

He also added that no one wants to be around someone who thinks it's funny to make those particular jokes. Real accusations of that nature are taken very seriously among Ravager Clans, so if someone is found to just be flippantly saying crap like that, the general feel is that it makes it harder for real victims to be heard, so the crew will tend to shun the offender to make it clear that behavior isn't acceptable. And well, if the offender didn't learn their lesson pretty quick and get back into the good graces of their captain and crew, they'd quickly find themselves to be cannon fodder.

Even Ravagers know there's a line between raunchy and unacceptable.

There may have also been the matter that when Yondu had said "I'm startin' to think some of ya are gettin' a lil' too wound up about this lil' rite of passage among ya young-ins. It'd sure be a shame if you were the reason I decided to put an end to it." much of the crew, after the rumor had gotten twisted up a bit via game of telephone, had taken it to mean that Rahi had almost gotten shore-leave taken away from everyone- forever. And well, that just didn't sit right with a lot of folks. It was a final nail in the coffin, if you will.

However, what you didn't know was about Yondu's conversation with Stakar.

Stakar did go talk to the other captains, and more than a few did finally admit similar instances among their younger ranks after having heard through the grapevines about a giant stink a lad called Rahi had caused on Udonta's ship. They admitted to instances of bullying, pressure, and disrespect occurring and directly related to the particular rite of passage and collectively agreed with Yondu that a change surrounding the culture could be beneficial, much to Yondu's surprise, and also his relief.

He never did tell you about his conversation with Stakar, though he was sure you may start to suspect if everything went well and things started changing regarding that particular aspect of life. As long as no one else had to feel like he saw you feeling that night in the laundry, he'd be happy.

You had come to his quarters the day after the visit to Contraxia, knocking almost as soon as he had hung up with Stakar. You had wanted to thank him him for helping you, both with the advice and with the Love-Bot. You told him how you felt so much better after having that talk with him, and how you no longer felt broken.

He'd never say, because screw sentiment, but it warmed his heart to know he helped you realize there was nothing wrong with you, that you had never been damaged. You two parted with a hug and he let you know to not be afraid if you needed to come to him about stuff like that in the future, just not to make a habit of telling the others lest they accuse him of going soft.

You were his little girl, something else he never intended to say out loud, because again, screw sentiment. He felt a responsibility for your well-being, even if you could be a little shit like Peter sometimes.

Ah, fuck sentiment. He knew you two were his kids, and he was damn proud.

***

About a week after shore leave you and Peter happened across Yondu outside the Mess Hall doors as you were heading in for supper.

"Hey, look! It's Terran One and Terran two!" Yondu said, oddly loudly.

"Um, hi?" You gave him an odd look. "What's up?"

"Now why would ya think somethin's up? Can't a captain greet his crew outside the Mess Hall before dinner?"

'Something's definitely up.' you thought, sharing a glance with Peter who was clearly thinking the same thing. "Are we in trouble? Did we do something?" Peter chuckled nervously. He didn't know about you, but he had maybe definitely rigged a supply closet in the control room with some firecrackers, and he wasn't sure if some poor soul (probably Kraglin) had already fell victim to it, meaning he was about to be in hot water.

You were also grinning nervously. You didn't know about Peter's firecrackers, but you had also maybe definitely hidden some poppers under the cushion of Yondu's desk chair that morning when he was busy on the other side of the ship, but you weren't going to just turn yourself in without more information, now were you?

"I dunno, you tell me." Yondu said, smirking. "Are you in trouble? Ya'll got a guilty conscience?"

You and Peter shared a nervous glance. You both knew you both were most definitely guilty of something, however you two had a code. Never turn yourself in, and never turn your buddy in. You looked back at Yondu, suppressing a nervous giggle. "No? I don't think so?"

Kraglin then came outside the Mess Hall doors to stand with Yondu. Kraglin had a big shit eating grin on his face, almost as if he were trying not to laugh when he saw you and Peter there.

Yondu threw him a glance which Kraglin returned with a nod. You noticed this and you exchanged another look with Peter. Something was definitely up. This felt like a trap.

"Well, what're ya waiting for? Get in there and grab some supper!" Yondu ordered, grinning strangely. He opened the door for you- oh shit something was absolutely up here.

You and Peter eyed him suspiciously but obeyed, entering the Mess hall without a word.

Once inside you noticed the rest of the crew inside were all oddly quiet, all staring at the two of you with grins and some suppressing giggles behind their hands. You heard the doors shut behind you and turned to see Yondu and Kraglin standing in front of them, both donning the biggest shit eating grins of all time.

"Cap'n has a surprise for you guys, d'ya- do ya like it?" Kraglin asked, trying to suppress his own giggles.

You heard Peter exclaim a, "Oh hell no!" and you turned to see what had caught his attention, noticing the crew had finally broke out into loud raucous laughter around you.

Hanging high on the wall about 10 feet to the right of the Mess Hall entrance doors was a humongous blown up photo of you and Peter. It was the photo you guys didn't know Oblo had snapped when you returned from Contraxia. It showed the two of you each curled up asleep in your respective seats of Yondu's M-ship. Peter was sucking his thumb. You were cuddling one of Yondu's softer dash toys.

You both paled as you stared up at the giant poster hung high on the wall. Hung conveniently high enough that neither of you would be able to reach it to rip it down, although Peter made a few good attempts.

Your eyes narrowed at your captain as he approached you, his laughter matching that of the crew. He pulled you towards him and ruffled your hair as he asked. "What's the matter? Ya don't like yer surprise?"

You glared up at him as Peter was now climbing up on a chair in a vain attempt to reach and pull the photo down. "This so means war, blue man!"

"Don't pick fights ya can't win, pipsqueak." Yondu laughed. "Consider this payback for those poppers in my chair, and ya can tell Peter this is for those firecrackers in the supply closet."

You sighed and punched him in the arm, but he only laughed and pulled you in close to ruffle your hair again, "Oh lighten up! Ya don't really expect me to just let my kids have all the fun, huh?"

You jerked your head towards him with a surprised expression, and it seemed it was only then he realized what he had said. Grateful that no one else would have heard it over his noisy crew he attempted to backtrack. "Uh, don't read too much into it." he said, clapping you on the back and announcing to Kraglin that he was going to grab some food. Kraglin, who was busy laughing at Peter, who had seemingly given up his attempts to rip down the photo in favor of walking dejectedly back over to you, nodded and joined his Captain in obtaining some supper.

Peter and you turned to face the photo again, the laughter from the crew still not having died down. Peter spoke first. "This means war, right?"

"Definitely. I had already set up a dye pack in Yondu's shower earlier. He'll be a weird shade of purple by morning," you affirmed with a grin.

"Nice. We gotta get one on Kraglin too."

"Absolutely," you reply. "After supper?"

"Yeah. After supper." Peter agreed.

The two of you made your way to get your supper, ignoring the laughs and teases of the other Ravagers along the way and discussing further options of getting Yondu and Kraglin back for this.

He may be like a father to you two, but that didn't mean he'd get off easy.