#please this idea haunts me every time i go to the restroom at work

[justthatspiffy]

[gojoho]

MERCY

• pairing; toji fushiguro x reader [ nsfw ]

• premise; it’s the same dance with him, a shameless game of cat and mouse in which he always win but maybe losing is equally as rewarding. 

• words; 2078

• note & warning; i’m back with some toji content, he’s just been in my mind a little to long for me not the write about him. some warnings for this one is public, unprotected ( wrap it and then tap it folks ) sex, with the usual grammatical errors—I swear I try to proof read ya’ll but they just manage to find a way to stay in there. i am slowly but surely getting my mojo back.

Old habits die hard; it's easier to hate each other that way. Labeling whatever that was manifesting between the two of you as that, a bad habit. A dirty secret only an onyx sky could appreciate enough to hide. Perhaps that's what kept it alive and kicking, midnight turmoil, where even the most terrible of bad ideas are more seductive.

Though it's debatable if the alcohol left you unhinged, mindless, and bold. What other excuse did you have for allowing the bastard to enter your domain? There was no shame from the thinking without a conscience, but with the pounding music and pulsing lights, you weren't sure there was even space to think. He held a brazen stare all evening, keen to every move you made.

A man's attention was never anything to sneeze at, but when it was a straggler like Toji Fushiguro, it was intoxicating. And more than the liquor, everything seemed to be within reach under his spotlight. He held his distance, clung to the darkness, yet with such an adamant gaze he could have been right there beside you. At least, that's how you imagined it but the game wasn't that easy.

  He'd stay in his dark corner, not quite able to step closer until you were ready. Until the heat underneath your skin became unbearable, leaving you an aching mess. That made it easier to devour you. Whether it meant burying his head between your thighs or hooking his arms around your waist and keeping you open. Or bottomed out inside you, mouth feasting on your chest.

The club was full, Friday night packed but it would work in your favor. You knew none of the songs, not that it mattered, it was mere fuel to your movements. A nice accessory to the sway of your hips, to suggestive temptation behind them.

It wasn't worth looking in his direction; he was always watching. At that thought alone, your clothes become a nuisance. A means to an end, that would start with him. Toji was a patient man but knew that patience didn't extend to everyone, you in particular. He was a tease, and as your dress inclined it almost felt as if he'd been the one to hike it up.

A sensation too similar to his hands moving over your bare thighs, ready to pry them open. His smug chuckle was right there feeding your imagination, and as one song faded into the next, there wasn't a spot on your body that hadn't been kissed in theory. With one thought, you were drooling over a man less than ten feet away, fantasizing about all the ways he could take you. It was more of a headache than it seems, and as the pace of the songs picks up, the conscience returns. Whilst you make your way back to the bar. You'd need a little more liquid luck to get through the rest of the night.

  “That was quite a show.”

  “Didn’t know I had an audience.” What else could you have done but tell a bald-faced lie? Telling him the truth didn't do anyone any good. How you envision him fucking you in the middle of the dance floor.

“Could’ve fooled me." The bar was located farther away from the DJ and next to the restrooms. The quieter end of the venue, but you're sure you'd have heard his smirk regardless.

After all this time, it's only then that you turn to him.“What are you doing here Fushiguro?”

Big mistake, ten feet away he looked the same as when you last saw him, but up close and personal, some details that had escaped memory came back to haunt you.

“Would you believe me if I told you, I’m here to see you?”

Yeah right, “Not in the slightest.”

“It’s true for the most part, had a job in the area and thought I’d pop in do some sightseeing." He shifted his weight back to the counter, his elbows well-rested on either side.

“Well you came and you saw.”

“On the contrary,” he said. The double meaning has turned your cheeks crimson, and you're thankful for the red lights underneath the counter. “Cute dress.”

Images from moments before gloss over your eyes, heating every part of your body. They burned a path down your chest before settling below your hips. “Seriously Fushiguro what do you want? You made it pretty clear we both want different things the last time you popped in.”

“Things are different.” Sincere wasn't the word you or anyone else would use to describe the guy, but his demeanor defied all expectations. He seemed to be a completely different person.

  “Yeah, they are,” you mumbled, tossing back a shot you managed to order before his interruption.

  “Look," he started and turned to face you. Face inches from yours, his scent enveloping both of you. "I tried the settling down thing and it doesn’t work with my kind of lifestyle.”

It wasn't the words you wanted to hear, but you probably wouldn't have had them anyway. Wishful thinking, “Then that’s clears things up doesn’t it?” Toji Fushiguro didn’t do apologies, much like he didn’t do commitment, and even as he called after you, that would never change. Something you wish your body would recognize, no matter how much it longed for him.

  The corridor to the restrooms was too quiet for him being that close to you...too intimate. In the quick second you had turned you back to him, ready to sober up and head home, he’d already been behind you. Pushing you up against the wall in the far corner, his arms barricading you in.

  “You’re quite stubborn, you know that.” His voice was low, quiet all to maintain the secrecy veiled in the darkness.

  “Thanks, I’ll be sure to add it to my resume.” You witted, going to duck around him but he was quick and with a step forward his hips pushed yours in back place.

  “Will you just listen,” he pleaded. Not that you had much of a choice, but he took your silence as obedience. “I won’t make excuses, I’m a shitty guy but it’s gotten me this far. You won’t get the white picket fence with me. That’s not who I am.”

It was true, he was a shitty person. One minute here and the next gone with the wind. All with impeccable timing, usually around when he’d finish fucking you senseless. Truthfully it wasn’t something too much of a problem, it was better if he had his life and you with your own. Though you supposed between the kisses, and that final thrust that brought you both over the edge left some vulnerability.

  “If I’m stubborn, then you’re quite dense. I never asked for that Toji. I was fine with the wild sex but was a little conversation too much to ask? You’ve got baggage, newsflash so do I, but you’d think we’d handle it like two grown adults. You’ve always been on the move, please, slow down every once in a while.”

The silence is deafening, louder than the upbeat track in the distance. You were irritated, angry, and, to make it worse, aroused. What else did he expect from you but a meltdown? As he moved his head to your back, he lowered his arms, allowing them to ghost your waist. “I'm sorry,” he said softly, kissing it.

In retrospect, you should have jumped for joy, climbed to the top of the bar, and screamed at the top of your lungs like a lunatic, but you didn't. You didn't want to abandon his embrace at that moment; he had really changed.

The kiss in trial is slow and tender, responsive to not only the worries but any emotion in between. Everything you didn't think he was capable of and all rage bleeds into desire. Each of you starved and desperate to find a fill.

The stiffness of his pants condemned his hold, which found its power over your hips. You want to propose that he return the excitement to your place or whatever hotel he was staying in, but he broke the kiss to turn you around. His patience had reached its maximum for the night.

“Wait for a second,” you mumbled out. A slight moan slipped through feeling his erection firm and strong against your rear. The ends of your dress taunted by his fingertips liked how you pictured them too. “Sorry princess, no can do.”

  It’s almost impressive how quickly he lifts your dress and slipping a finger past your thong. But should anyone know your body in grave detail it was him. There’s a ceremonial cheer from the crowd as the DJ lets the beat drop, Toji’s opportune moment of intrusion. Your own cry, not one in interest to the music but the long slender finger to part your folds.

“I’ve waited all night to get my hands on you,” he mumbled out, lips pressed to the back of your neck.

  “Toji—”

“I’ll be quick, just the way you like it.”

  It’s in your best interest to stop him there, keeping private matters just that, you should stop him...should.

  “Fuck…quickly.” you cursed out in compliance. There’s a smirk on his face, you know it. Sure he’s different, but some things never change.

  In the second he pulled his finger away, you whimper half expecting for it to slip back in, maybe even with a partner but a casual Friday night turns into Christmas.

  “I'll take my time with you later, right now—” he started face pressed into the back of your shoulder. “I just need to be inside you.”

  First was the tip of his cock, a feeble tickle before the rest of his inches followed. Stretching you full, slipping deep into your heat. Coaxing the ache that was for him, letting the world see just how easily your body welcomed his own. Yet, it was hard to care about the rest of the world when your own revolved around everything below your hips.

  He gripped them tightly, anchoring you there at the hilt with a slow sure thrust before looping a hand to your front. Twisting the nerves in time with his sudden thrust. Quick like he said, but still slow enough to feel him move inside you. In and out, then over again. The excitement of having him there indulging with your body, and the anxiety of getting caught clashed. Making you even more aware of your walls around him, but in his muffled moans there are words of encouragement. Sweet nothings that make your arousal fierce, sexy, and less wrong.

  “Don't stop, ” you say a little too loud for doing something taboo but you don't care, “Don't fucking stop.”

  The million and one fantasy that flooded your mind on the dancefloor spirals, winding with the moment and coiled in an untamed void. Ready to snap at those trying to control it. And there, shrouded in the thin veil of privacy Toji picks up his pace, teasing it with each stroke until finally, it shudders through. Coming in waves, meeting your peek every time he pushed forward. Bolting down your legs the more sloppy and anxious his hips became.

  “Fuck, ” he grunts hands shooting to your chest. Pulling you closer to him, eating up your moans with his.

  Almost feral with the way he continued despite his cock’s twitches, he wasn't nearly satisfied but that was a mess neither of you was capable of cleaning up at the moment. Regrettably, you push back on his rhythm stopping it completely. Snapping him from the haze.

“We should go, ” you whisper out on his lips. Which he can only grunt back in response to, hesitant to slip from your warmth.

His hands are glued to your body, unable to null all contact as you tugged your dress back down or as he tucks himself back into his pants. You'd ask whether it was back to your place or his but the languid look on his face as the two of you shamelessly stepped into the light made it fruitful. It didn't matter where the two of you went, he'd have you crying for mercy.

[ladyreapermc]

Drabble: Jealous (Henry Cavill x OFC)

Summary: Henry regrets letting her go one he sees her with someone else.

Pairing: Henry x Unamed OFC (can be read as a reader insert)

A/N: This request has been sitting on my ask box for months because I hadn’t really been feeling good with my writing. I still not all that confident with this drabble, but I decided to post anyway.

Wordcount: 666 (ominous lol)

Warnings: mentions of alcohol and implied smut)

Henry should not be this upset over this.

It made no sense, but here he was, clenching his jaw and downing his beer like water, struggling to keep his grip on his pint somewhat normal because if he squeezed the glass any harder he might break it and the last thing he needed was shards of glass all over his palm alerting everyone around that he was far from alright.

He was furious.

The sort of white rage that made you completely unreasonable and crazy and brought out the most primitive instincts in a human. That made you blind to anything around you. Anything except them.

The couple standing by the bar, chatting like intimate friends, maybe even more. And that thought alone was enough to send a bolt of ire through his spine, his stomach burning with the acidic jealousy.

The worst thing about this entire thing was that he had only himself to blame for this.

Henry was furious with himself and not anyone else.

Ok, maybe he was a little bit mad at the other guy.

At the way he kept pawing at her hips, leaning closer and closer, whispering in her ear, bringing out that sweet giggle that sounded like music to his ears.

Henry wasn’t angry at her though. He had no right to be.

He was the one that decided it was a bad idea for them to keep seeing each other. He was fresh out of a relationship and she was focusing on her career. They had their fun that night but they would have to work together for the next two months and getting involved would probably be a recipe for disaster.

She agreed very gracefully. They remained friends and Henry thought he was ok with just that but he couldn’t get her out of his mind.

She was in his dreams, night and day. Every time he heard her voice or the sweet smell of her shampoo whiffed his way, his heart sped like a bullet train, his hands got sweaty and he lost all of his well-composed finesse.

She drove Henry insane just by existing and he couldn’t handle watching her talk and flirt with someone else.

He couldn’t handle that he wasn’t the one making her smile and laugh like that, with her head thrown back, one hand resting over her companion’s arm to keep herself steady on her high heels.

Henry made a mistake letting her go. He could see it now and he needed to do something, anything to make this right.

So he waited, gaze never leaving them; his drink completely forgotten and conversation washing over him like white noise.

He got up when she excused herself, heading to the back of the club where the restrooms were located. Henry felt like a predator haunting her steps and the rational side of his brain kept shouting for him to go back, that he was being a creep.

Unfortunately, the only thing Henry could hear and obey was the primal urge to claim what was once his even if it made no sense. She wasn’t anyone else but her own.

She disappeared inside the ladies’ room and Henry followed, freezing in his spot when he found her there, standing in the middle of the room, arms crossed over her chest, a smirk on her red painted lips as she watched him.

“Took you long enough to make a move,” she declared, voice low and sultry, sending shivers down his spine. “I thought I’d have to fuck him right there to get you to do something.”

“So you were trying to make me jealous?” He asked, stalking towards her, her heels doing very little to ease the height difference between them, but she seemed unfazed.

“Succeeding, actually.” She flashed him another smirk, before letting her delicate hand rest on his chest. “Now... should we go back to your place or just lock the door?”

"Lock the door,” Henry growled, pulling her into his arms.

xxx

If you enjoyed this work, please consider reblogging and/or commenting please. Feedback gives life to us writers! 

[heyitssmiller]

Clandestine: Chapter Three

The first mission doesn’t exactly go as planned. Also, Logan has a thing for glasses, apparently.

@lumosinlove Thank you for letting me run away with your characters! <3

Again, @donttouchmycarrots is my hero and the best proofreader ever! This fic wouldn’t be what it is without her.

Clandestine Masterlist

.

The bank was quiet, save for the soft murmurings of tellers and customers. Sunlight filtered through the windows of the storefront, light and hazy. The office plant by the front door was growing way too big for its pot. There were a few people waiting in line, absently scrolling through their phones. Others were sitting in the waiting area, mindlessly taking in their surroundings. It was calm, peaceful.

Or it was, until a redhead came sprinting out of the men’s restroom, screaming “Fire!” at the top of his lungs.

The bank then descended into madness.

A man watched from the driver’s seat of his car as people frantically streamed out of the building and onto the sidewalk. He sighed, taking a second to rest his forehead against the steering wheel. “Damnit, O’Hara. This wasn’t part of the plan.”

29 Hours Earlier

“Good morning, cubs!”

“Fuck you, Black.” Logan muttered into his cup of coffee. “It’s too early to be that excited.”

Leo smiled a little and set a paper bag on the table. Logan stared at it. Where had it come from? He hadn’t seen Leo carrying it into the briefing room, but it was too big to stuff into his pockets. He didn’t have a bag or anything – the only thing he was carrying with him was a notebook and a pen. How did he manage to smuggle it in?

Logan was so confused, and it was still too early.

“I brought muffins.” Leo explained, opening the bag and handing one to Finn. “They’re cinnamon swirl.”

“Nut, did you make these?” Finn asked, removing the wrapper and taking a big bite. Leo shrugged.

“I like to cook.”

Black looked up at him in awe. “These are amazing.” He cradled the muffin in his hand like it was something precious.

“I can give you the recipe, if you want.”

Logan grabbed a muffin, looking up quickly at Remus’ snort. “He can’t cook.”

“Neither can you.” Sirius shot back, a little more hostile than his usual teasing manner. Logan glanced back and forth between the pair, tearing off a piece of muffin and popping it into his mouth. Fuck, that was good.

His partners had clearly picked up on the tension, too, but neither of them brought it up. Leo twirled his pen around in his hand, eyes moving from the pair to Finn. He smiled as the redhead enthusiastically grabbed another muffin. Logan snapped his gaze back to Sirius. “Can we get started, please?” He asked pointedly. “If you make me get up this early, we’d better be doing something productive.”

Finn laughed at him, nose scrunching. “Are you always this grumpy in the morning?”

Green eyes rimmed with dark, dark lashes glared back at him. Logan didn’t say a word but took a long sip of coffee instead, refusing to break eye contact. Finn let himself stare a little longer than he probably should have. He wasn’t lying when he told Logan he was a sucker for green eyes.

Sirius finally broke the tension-filled staring competition between himself and Loops and looked down at his files. Remus started the projector without a word, only speaking up when he was ready to begin his presentation. “We’re starting you three off with the easiest flash drives to retrieve – the two in the banks.”

He moved to a picture of the layout of one of the banks, pointing at a small room tucked away in a corner of the building. “So the safe is back here in this room. You can’t get back there without permission or an escort, which makes it a little trickier. The security system is also very high-grade, so I don’t think trying to break in after hours is our best bet here. There’s too many little things we might miss.

“The plan is to go undercover. Leo and Finn, you’ll be infiltrating this bank. Logan, you’ll be lookout. Leo, you’re going to pretend to be a safe specialist. Tell them the make and model of the safe Riddle uses is faulty and the company sent you to see if this one needs to be replaced. I don’t really care what you say, just make it believable.”

“What kind of safe is it?” Leo asked.

Sirius looked down at his notes. “It’s a… Tigerking Digital Security safe. Does that mean anything to you?”

Leo grinned. “Makes my job a hell of a lot easier. They’ve got a weak spot.”

“What am I doing during all of this?” Finn asked through a mouthful of muffin, crumbs stuck to his mouth. He swiped at them with his tongue before speaking again, “Distraction?”

“Yeah. It’ll have to be big – big enough to get Leo alone with that safe. How long do you think it’ll take to crack, Knut?”

He shrugged. “Ten minutes, tops. It’s got this small hole at the back where bolts are fed through. I can get a stiff wire through that hole and hit the reset button. Then I can reset the code of the safe and open it without leaving a trace.”

Finn smiled, mischief in his eyes. “I think I can manage a ten-minute distraction.”

That… that didn’t sound good.

Finn took one look at Logan’s fearful face and laughed. “Relax, it’s nothing too dramatic. I’ll probably just ask for whoever takes Leo back to look at the safe and then throw a fit when they say he’s not available. And then I’ll drag out our conversation to give our dear Nut enough time. Simple.”

“That… actually works.”

Finn scoffed, giving Remus a look. “Why do you sound so surprised?”

“Because you’re Finn O’Hara.”

Finn thought about it for a second, then shrugged. “That’s fair.”

“Nut, when you open the safe you need to replace the real flash drive with this decoy.” Sirius said, holding up a blue flash drive. “This op might take weeks or months – if Riddle comes to check on this drive, he needs to see one instead of an empty safe. Now, if he actually checks the information on the flash drives… well, we’re screwed. Hopefully it won’t come to that. He doesn’t usually check the flash drives unless absolutely necessary – it’s too much of a hassle.”

“And I’ll loop the security camera footage when you get there, so there won’t be any evidence of you tampering with the safe.” Remus said. “Get in, get out. Not too hard, right? And we’ll both be with you every step of the way. You’ll have microphones and earpieces so that we can all communicate.”

Finn couldn’t tell if the bouncing of Leo’s leg was his normal restlessness or nerves. His face was a mask of calm that revealed nothing. For someone who didn’t have any previous experience in espionage or conning people, he sure was good at hiding how he was feeling.

Finn handed him another muffin anyways.

The dimpled smile he got in return was nothing but genuine.

***

Remus sat down on his couch with his dinner, sighing to himself as he stretched out his back. It had been a long day, but he finally felt ready for tomorrow. Their plan was solid, the cubs were as ready as they were ever going to be, he had his video loop for the security camera in the safe room, the rest of his tech had been checked over and deemed ready to go. There wasn’t much else he could do besides get a good night’s sleep if he could.

That would be easier said than done, though.

Sirius chose that moment to throw open the door and close it loudly behind him. Remus glared at him. “Is that really necessary?” He asked, but didn’t add anything else on as Sirius slammed down a stack of hand-written pages onto Remus’ coffee table. 

“You want me to open up? Fine. There’s all you need to know about me.”

Remus looked down at the pages and instantly felt guilty. How long had he been working on this? “You didn’t have to-”

“You said you couldn’t trust me.” Sirius interrupted coolly. “I can’t get my brother to safety if you guys don’t trust me.”

It appeared that his brother was his sole motivation. For all of this. Remus could understand that. He’d stop at nothing if the safety of his own brother was put into question.

“Yeah, but you didn’t have to do this.” Remus looked up at him, at the stiff set to his shoulders, the detached look in his eyes. He went too far the last time they’d talked about this, hadn’t he? “Look, we got along for over a week when you first got here. I think we can do that again, right?”

At Sirius’ skeptical face, he sighed. “This is on me just as much as you. I… I don’t trust easily.” He had to laugh at that massive understatement. “Perks of being a spy. But I feel like we can manage learning to trust each other the old-fashioned way.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow. “And what’s that?”

“Getting totally, outrageously drunk and sharing all our secrets.”

Sirius’ straight face only lasted for about a second before he busted out laughing. “You go from wanting my entire life story to wanting to get drunk together?”

“It’s a failproof way to gain someone’s trust.” Remus said solemnly, cracking a smile when Sirius laughed again, incredulous. “But not tonight. We’ve got a big day tomorrow.”

“This Friday, then?”

He couldn’t help but notice the hopeful look on Sirius’ face. Had he ever done this with someone before? Did he have any friends besides his brother previously? He put up this excitable, outgoing façade, but Remus honestly had no idea what lay underneath. He nodded decisively. “This Friday.”

Sirius hesitated, then spoke again. “Do you think they’re ready?”

“I think so. And we’ll be there if something goes wrong.” Remus met his eyes, trying to instill confidence into the ex-Snake. “No matter what happens, we’re going to do our best to get your brother out safely.”

“And what if that’s not enough?” Sirius asked, eyes haunted.

That was exactly why Remus hadn’t made any strict promises. There was no way to guarantee that they would get Regulus back. If Remus was in Sirius’ shoes, if this this was Jules instead of Regulus, what would Remus most want to hear?

“We’re going to do everything we can, I promise.” He said, soft but firm. “I know that’s not enough, but it’s the best we can do as of right now.”

Sirius stared back, then nodded. “Thank you.” He looked down at Remus’ food. “What’s for dinner? I’m starving.”

Remus laughed, shoving him away. “Get your own, you leech. This is mine.”

“Leech?” Sirius demanded, dramatizing his offence. “I can’t believe you called me a leech. You were the one who offered to house me, after all.”

That was true. Even if he hated to admit it, Remus was lonely. He lived in this apartment all by himself, worked mostly on his own, and his family lived miles and miles away. And being a spy didn’t exactly make it easy to find friends. He was distrusting and cautious by nature, especially after... well. After he left fieldwork and transitioned to a desk job.

He didn’t know why he’d offered to let Sirius stay, honestly. He just got this gut feeling that it was the right thing to do.

And Remus Lupin always trusted his gut.

“Worst decision I’ve ever made.” He quipped, laughing as Sirius threw a pillow at him. Sirius was a horrible roommate. He left dishes in the sink, beard trimmings on the bathroom counter, and his shoes haphazardly strewn about the living room.

But he always had hot water on the stovetop in the mornings when Remus woke up, always let him pick what they watched on tv at nights, and always replaced anything he had used up without being asked. And, if Remus was being completely honest with himself, soft gray eyes paired with an even softer smile weren’t exactly a terrible thing to wake up to.

So far, this whole roommate business wasn’t too bad.

***

Logan hated nothing more than being lookout.

He watched on as Finn and Leo geared up, testing their mics and earpieces and making adjustments accordingly. He was supposed to be watching the entrance to make sure no Snakes entered the building. They were doing the first bank heist while Logan was stuck here, in the car parked on the street, where he couldn’t see what was going on or if his partners were in trouble.

Their first mission, and he was stuck outside.

Ugh.

“You ready for this?” Finn asked Leo as he discreetly tucked a wire under his collar and out of sight. Leo had his eyes trained on the building across from them, wrapped in his coat and a thick scarf, fingers drumming out a staccato beat on his thigh. He didn’t seem to have heard Finn.

“Nut?”

Leo swiveled his head to look back at them. “Hmm?”

“You ok?” Logan asked, watching the blond’s face for signs of nervousness or stress. But his gaze was steady, determined. For someone on their first mission, he was remarkably calm. Either that or a much better actor than Logan had given him credit for. But then his expression flickered and a shadow of doubt crept in.

“I’m fine.” He said, and Logan couldn’t tell if he was trying to convince them or himself. He reached out and gave the blond’s shoulder a squeeze, letting his hand linger before trailing it down his arm and pulling away.

“You’re fine.” Logan reassured with a smile and watched the resolve build back up in Leo’s eyes, causing the knot in Logan’s chest to ease up a little.

That was better.

Finn looked at him for a second, then took his glasses off. “Here, put these on. I feel like your cover story requires glasses.” He gently eased them onto the other boy’s face. Leo blinked rapidly, then squinted and widened his eyes to adjust to the lenses.

“Jesus, what prescription is this?”

“It’s not that bad.” Finn said, ruffling Leo’s hair in retaliation. He took a step back to see the finished product and whistled lowly. “Damn, maybe we should take those off again. We’re supposed to be unmemorable when we’re undercover. No one will be able to take their eyes off you with those on.”

Logan had to agree there. Soft blue eyes blinked back at them from behind tortoiseshell frames, looking larger than they normally did. Leo buried his nose in his scarf in an attempt to hide the blush caused by Finn’s flirtatious words.

The sight did strange things to Logan’s stomach.

Remus’ voice reached them through their com link, startling all three of them. “You guys ready to go?”

Leo took a deep, steadying breath. “Let’s do this.” He looked back at Logan, eyes fierce – a stark contrast to the soft look of only a few seconds ago. Logan sucked in a breath of his own. This kid sure was something.

“See you in a bit.”

“See you in a bit.” Logan echoed, grabbing the car keys out of his pocket and letting his lips twitch up into a smile at Finn’s cheery salute. He leaned against the car door and watched the pair make their way around the corner and towards the bank without glancing back.

He got back into the car and moved it around the same corner before putting it in park. His eyes shifted between the street in front of him and his rearview mirror, a book in his lap to keep from raising suspicions, and settled in to worry and wait.

***

Leo shoved his hands in his pockets to keep from fidgeting and made his way to the front desk. Ignoring his pounding heart as best he could, he locked eyes with the teller and smiled. “Hi there. Is your manager here?” He asked, dragging his accent out slow and sweet like molasses. “I’ve got a few questions about your safes.”

She smiled back. “Sure thing. I’ll go grab him.” Leo thanked her as she left, looking around while he waited and trying his hardest not to squint too much in Finn’s glasses. 

“Nut, between the accent and the glasses - plus your looks in general - I think that girl is half in love with you already.” Sirius’ voice teased, causing Leo to flinch slightly. He needed to get used to hearing the voices of people he couldn’t see during these missions.

“She is not.” He muttered back as he pretended to rub his nose, covering his mouth as he spoke so that no one else could see it. His hand absentmindedly played with the old, frayed bracelet on his wrist.

“You can do better, Nut.” Logan chimed in, voice a little gruff.

“How do you know?” Sirius asked. “You can’t even see her.”

“I’m using my imagination.”

Sirius barked out a laugh while Remus just sighed and requested that they all stay focused. Leo glanced around at the lobby again. Finn was standing in line behind him, looking at something on his phone. He forced himself not to look at his partner too long and kept scanning the rest of the lobby. It seemed to be a pretty quiet day - there weren’t too many people inside. A few people were seated in the waiting area and some were waiting in line behind Finn. Leo saw the teller and a short, balding man who must have been the bank manager making their way back towards him.

Leo stuck his hand out when they reached him, which the manager shook with a fake smile on his face.

“Hi, how are you doing?” Leo asked, withdrawing his hand. “I’m Fred Decker with Tigerking Digital Security. I have on record that you’re currently using one of our safes, is that correct?”

“Fred?” Sirius’ voice asked incredulously. “Of all the aliases you could use, you choose Fred? Nut, you should be ashamed of yourself.”

Remus hissed at him to shut up. Leo ignored it.

“Yes, that’s right.” The manager said, a bit stiff. “What’s this about?”

“There’s a recall on a few of our safes. I was wondering if I could take a look at yours and see if it needs to be replaced. Free of charge, of course. This is an error on our part, and we want to do all we can to fix it.”

The manager hesitated, then nodded. “This way.”

Leo followed the man through a set of doors into a hallway, spotting Finn out of the corner of his eye as he approached the front desk and sent Leo a quick wink. That, more than anything, calmed Leo’s nerves. If Finn was acting like this was just run-of-the-mill and not a big deal, then they must’ve been doing something right. The door closed behind Leo, blocking his vision of the lobby. He took a fortifying breath and followed the manager into the safe room, secluded from the rest of the bank.

“Here we are,” The manager said, then pointed to a safe wedged into the corner of the room. “And there’s your safe.”

“The camera in the safe room is already on a loop, Leo. You’re all set.” Remus’ voice said, steady and calm. Leo looked the safe over, stalling as he waited for Finn’s distraction.

“Fuck,” he heard through his earpiece. “Leo, you’re going to have to hang in there for a few more seconds. The planned distraction didn’t work.”

Leo swallowed, looking back up at the manager. “So there’s these holes in the back, see?” He said, figuring a sure-fire way for him to stall was to talk about the safe. He could keep up a conversation like this for hours. “They’re used to bolt the safes into the wall. A few of our older models have larger holes.”

He grabbed the stiff coil of wire out of his pocket. “Some thieves have learned that you can get to the reset button in these older models if you use a tough wire like this and insert it through one of the holes. Basically all I want to do today is see if a thief could potentially do that with this safe. Is that all right with you?”

“Yes, of course! If there’s a problem, our client would want that fixed immediately.”

“I’m sure they would.” Leo said absentmindedly as he started fiddling with the wire for as long as he possibly could. He straightened it out from it’s coil, looked down it’s length, and then pretended to straighten some kinks out.

Don’t panic don’t panic don’t panic-

Remus’ voice was a little more tense now. “Finn, where’s that distraction?”

Finn, who was in the men’s bathroom grabbing handful after handful of paper towels and shoving them into a trash can, grumbled, “I’m working on it, ok? Sirius was right - that teller definitely has a type, and it sure as hell isn’t me. I had to improvise.”

“What does that mean?” Logan asked warily. Finn could practically see him gripping the steering wheel in a white-knuckled grip as he forced himself to stay put. “What are you doing?”

Finn grabbed the bottle of hand sanitizer on the bathroom sink and took the top off, dumping the contents into the trash can as well. He grabbed the lighter in his pocket (he liked to be prepared, thank you very much) and produced a small flame.

“Something stupid.”

He lowered the lighter to the trashcan and prepared to run.

Leo could hear the shouting from Finn’s distraction all the way back in the safe room. He looked up at the manager, pretending to be confused. “What’s going on?”

“I’m not sure.” The manager frowned, shifting from foot to foot nervously as he looked towards the commotion. “I’m going to check it out. I’ll be right back, ok?”

Leo waved him off with a reassuring smile. “I’ll be right here.” He messed around with the safe until the door closed, then hissed, “Finn, what the hell is going on out there?” He moved Finn’s glasses to perch on top of his head and shoved the wire through one hole in the back of the safe. He grabbed his flashlight to look through the hole on the other side, searching for a small red button.

“I might’ve started a fire in the men’s restroom.”

“You what?” Leo demanded, finally finding the reset button and moving the wire steadily closer to it. “You do realize that does the exact opposite of give me more time, right?” Sure enough, the fire alarm sounded, loud and clear.

“Fuck me.” Leo muttered as he jabbed the reset button with the wire. Someone - Leo thought it might be Finn, but he wasn’t sure - muttered something too soft and muffled to be picked up by their mic. Leo didn’t have the time to question it. The safe door opened with a soft click. He quickly switched the flash drive with the replica and closed the door again. The wire got recoiled and shoved back into his pocket, Finn’s glasses returned to resting on his nose. He climbed to his feet and made his way towards the lobby at a quick pace. “I’ve got it.”

“Nice work, Nut.” He heard Logan say, and couldn’t repress the jittery feeling he always got after a successful job. He exited the bank, looking around for the manager. He seemed busy as he talked to his employees in an attempt to get the situation under control. He caught Leo’s eyes and stepped towards him. “Mr. Decker! I was looking for you.”

Leo only just remembered to over-exaggerate his accent. “I heard the alarm and high-tailed it out here. Was it a prank?”

“No,” He said after a beat of hesitation, “Someone actually started a fire in the men’s bathroom. The fire department is on its way. Hopefully it won’t take too long and you can get back to looking at that safe.”

“No need, I already finished. The holes were too small for the wire, so y’all should be fine. Anything thinner than the wire I used will be too flimsy to press that reset button.” Leo glanced down at his watch. “I do have six more banks to visit today, though, so I’m afraid this is where I leave you. Thank you for being so cooperative.” He held out his hand for the manager to shake again and gave one last smile before walking back down the street towards their designated rendezvous, trying to look casual and not like he was running away from the scene of a theft.

Sure enough, a non-descript gray car was waiting for him, right where it was supposed to be. Without a word, he climbed into the back and sprawled across all three seats, throwing an arm over his eyes as Logan put the car into drive.

The three of them were silent for a few seconds before Leo cracked a smile and laughed. “The one thing – the one thing that could get me kicked out of that safe room too fast, and that’s what you decided would make a perfect distraction?”

Finn looked back at the back seat with a grin, which softened when he laid eyes on the blond. His hair shone in the late-morning sunlight, highlighting a streak of gray at his temple. Those long legs of his took up most of the back row, and even then he still had to bend his knees to fit all the way. His eyes were blocked by his arm, but Finn could’ve seen those dimples via satellite image from space. 

“Hey, cut me some slack. I was making it up as I went.” This sent Leo into another fit of laughter, causing Finn’s smile to broaden.

“Besides,” Logan added, “You’re quick with your hands. You didn’t need all ten minutes, you barely needed three.”

Leo shrugged, which looked really strange in his current position on his back. “Got lucky. Found that reset button faster than I usually do.” He adjusted Finn’s glasses, which were still resting on his nose. “Maybe I need glasses, too.”

“Shut up. Those glasses are a statement piece, thank you very much.”

Logan snorted, watching Leo’s hand reach over the center console to return the glasses to their rightful owner. “Maybe that’s why you’re a terrible marksman, O’Hara. When’s the last time you got that prescription checked?”

Finn gasped in offense. Logan glanced over briefly and noticed the tips of his ears getting red. Cute.

“How dare you! I am not a terrible marksman!”

“That’s not what your file says.”

“What?”

“The evidence doesn’t lie.” Logan said, struggling to bite back his grin. Finn was just so fun to tease.

“Screw debriefing. When we get back to the office, we’re going to the shooting range.” Finn crossed his arms over his chest sulkily. “Terrible marksman. How dare they. Nutter Butter, back me up here.”

Leo blinked at the new nickname, but he couldn’t say he minded it too much. Especially when Finn said it like that, with such unfiltered affection. He watched the redhead turn around in his seat to look at him with big Bambi eyes, only then remembering that he was looking for an answer from Leo.

He put on a show of thinking about it, then shrugged. “I dunno, Finn. The evidence doesn’t lie.”

“Et tu, Brute?” Finn whined. “Betrayed by both of my partners. Unbelievable.”

Leo wished there was another word for partner. Maybe he should refer to them as just coworkers now. The term partner was giving him ideas. 

Ideas he couldn’t afford to be having for the first and quite possibly the biggest op of his life.

“Also, you’re one to talk!” Leo looked back up at Finn when he realized he was talking to him. “Have you ever shot a gun before, rookie?” He stopped suddenly, then grinned broadly. “Oh man, please tell me you’ve shot a gator when you were back in Louisiana. That’s so badass.”

Leo arched an eyebrow.

“Just because there’s horror stories about gators doesn’t mean they deserve to be shot.” Logan said, switching his turn signal on and waiting for the left turn light to change from red to green. “They’re a big part of the ecosystem.”

“And they kill people.”

“Oh come on, when’s the last time you heard of someone being killed by a gator?”

“Literally last week, down in Florida.”

“Well, that’s Florida. Crazy stuff like that happens in Florida all the time.”

“Did you hear about that guy from Florida who made a beer run while holding a gator?”

Logan chuckled, glancing over at his partner in disbelief. “What?”

“You heard me! Apparently he walked in, looked around and asked ‘Y’all ain’t out of beer, are you?’ But then the story gets weirder!”

Leo just sat in the backseat and laughed at Finn’s dramatic retelling of Florida news as building after building flashed by outside their windows, feeling lighter than air. His first mission was a success. He grabbed the small, innocuous flash drive out of his pocket, twirling it in his hand. One down, six more to go. If all missions were like this, taking down the Snakes wouldn’t be so bad.

He should’ve knocked on wood after having that thought.

[barnesandco]

Accidents Happen

Part 1

A healed man finds a woman he lost a long time ago, and they relearn each other.

This is an entry for @star-spangled-bingo​​ 2020. Word count: 1433. Square filled: “Blind Date”

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: PLEASE STOP READING IF YOU ARE NOT 18+

A/N: Remember when I said there would be a part two to Blame it on the Heartache the week after I posted that? Yeah, well, I guess it’s been more than a week, lol. I hope you enjoy anyways! (This was so fun to write)

He finds you by accident. It’s a bit more complicated than that, and somehow, not at all. Clint kept trying to set Bucky up on a date, and eventually, after Bucky kept rejecting everyone Clint told him about, Clint insisted on a blind date. That’s why he’s sitting across from you, the woman he had a frenzied one day stand with several years ago in Kiev. Clint decided that you were the perfect woman to set him up with, and Bucky doesn’t know you well enough to decide whether he’s right or not.

That’s why he doesn’t flee when the maître d’ guides you to the table, although your shock is written all over your face. Instead, he stands, as he was raised to, takes your hand and plants a kiss on the back of it, and pulls out your chair as though this is all normal. He’s glad the restaurant isn’t too formal, because he fears he might have suffocated in a tie. As it is, he loosens the top button on his button down, folds his hands atop the table, and watches you adjust the neck of your dress.

The silence is stunning. Before either of you can break it – not that there was much chance of that happen quickly as neither of you could come up with anything to say – a waiter approaches, with menus in hand and an offer for drinks. You ask for water, and so does Bucky.

The air trembles with anticipation. You watch Bucky with hooded eyes, and he works up the courage to speak. “How do you know Clint?” He manages.

“Sokovia,” is your simple answer, and you continue to scrutinize himself, until he figures, he might as well address the elephant in the room.

“I had no idea Clint was going to set me up with you,” Bucky says nervously.

You laugh drily. “That’s why it’s called a blind date, honey,” you joke, and Bucky thinks you’re flirting.

You wink at him and he gulps nervously. “You can leave, if you want,” he says, and you smile, baring teeth.

“If I leave, I’m taking you with me. I haven’t forgotten last time,” you tell him, and the memories flood Bucky’s mind. Suddenly, all he can think of is that borrowed bed in Kiev, and how much he misses the warmth of you on him, and then he is standing, looking at you with a fiery gaze that you return in equal measure with a deceptively relaxed smile. The years have changed you enough that you are comfortable playing like this. He, however, is no.

“Bathroom,” Bucky says, and heads for the back of restaurant, hoping you’ll follow. Two minutes later, you round the hallway to the restrooms, and he grabs your hand, heading to the men’s room.

It’s empty, thank God, and soon, you’re in a cubicle, and Bucky fumbles to lock the door as your mouth finds his under the glaring yellow lights. He wishes he had a bed to take you to, the way he did in Kiev, but he thinks he’ll make up for it. He remembers laying in that bed later that night, your scent still clinging to the pillows, wishing he had kissed you a little longer, had relished the taste of you a little more.

In the cubicle, he resolves to do that now. He cradles your face tenderly, pressing you into the wall, glad to be in a corner stall, feeling every inch of your perfect warmth against him, and he kisses you the way he couldn’t back in Ukraine. The way he didn’t know how to, because all he wanted was to feel warm, and he was just in a hurry to find that heat of pleasure for you and for him before you left like all the good things he couldn’t remember.

He’s a different man now. Still wears rings – an onyx band, criss-crossed with silver in a snakeskin pattern rests on his right ring finger – but they’re no longer a desperate attempt to give himself something that Hydra wouldn’t. Everything he does is his own, no longer driven by spite or against something bad, but rather for something good.

You are also something good, arching into his touch, your hands finding their way into Bucky’s shorter hair as you open your mouth to him. The taste of you is electrifying, peppermint sharp and sweet, and Bucky explores it like a man starved. He kisses like it is the last thing he’ll ever do, and the only thing he’ll ever do, taking his time, tongue laving over yours and lips pressing and lifting, gentle but intense all at once.

Bucky loves kissing, and he really, really likes the taste of you, and he wants to see if the other parts he remembers are just as good as they are in his broken brain. He’s a little more whole now, a little more holy, but his sacred hands shudder as the leave your jaw to hold your waist and he kisses his way down your neck.

Your collarbone is sweaty and soon spit-slicked as he bites a mark into place just below where your dress will cover, while you nibble at his ear lobe and gasp a crescendo into his ears.

His bent knees buckle to kneel at your feet, and your hands find his hair again. Bucky lifts your dress and then freezes. The door to the bathroom has just opened. Someone enters, and your eyes lock with Bucky’s in hilarious horror as the person uses the urinal, the sink, and then leaves.

Bucky’s head tips forward to your stomach as he huffs a sigh of relief against your bare skin, dress still hoisted and held at your waist by his hands. When you giggle, the sound is suppressed behind your hand, until Bucky looks up to meet your eyes and you laugh at his raised eyebrows and the unamused set of his lips.

You don’t stop laughing, so he decides to do something about it. Turns out, placing sharp kisses and small bites on the insides of your thighs is a good way to turn that laughter into a shaking gasp, a small moan. You bite these sounds back to the best of your ability but Bucky is relentless, seeking the haven between your thighs with a fierce mouth.

He’s cautious about his stubble, in a manner he didn’t have the foresight to be before, but you seem to enjoy it, arching your hips towards him with encouraging sounds. Bucky finds himself a bit braver for it. “You like that, sweetheart? I’ll give it to you, make you feel good,” he murmurs lowly, hoisting one of your legs over his shoulder and opening you up to him.

Your folds are covered in arousal, and Bucky looks up to find that you have closed your eyes and leaned your head back and are biting your lip in a desperate effort to keep silent and still, and on any other occasion, he would’ve tried to loosen you up, get you to release those inhibitions, had wanted you to let out the sounds of ecstasy, but lamentably, this is not the place for that.

So he traces your opening with a finger, and watches you buck towards it, before slipping it in and then taking your clit into his mouth. His cock is hard in his jeans, and he wants you so bad, but he’ll have you somewhere much better than a restaurant bathroom, soon. Right now, all he wants is to show you even a trace of the pleasure you gave him that morning several years ago. He wants to show he’s capable of more than lusting after you once that urge has been sated, and he wants to show you he dreamt of you and your smile for months, and that you have haunted him for so long.

Your desperate movements increase in frequency and Bucky increases the pace of his hand so you are coming with a muted gasp, a swallowed moan, your arousal on Bucky’s tongue, leaving his hand and his mouth slick and sweet with the taste of you.

You are quivering when he kisses your trembling body, and when he stands again, you take his hand and lick your juices from his fingers. He surges forward to grind himself against you as you kiss the back of his knuckles, your smoldering eyes meeting his.

He’ll take you out, properly, soon. He’ll get to know you again, with words instead of just his mouth, and then he’ll relish knowing you inside out.

[the-blind-assassin-12]

Feel More Alive

Word Count: 1,503  Warnings: language & (gag) mention of William A/N: The second that I saw this piece of artwork, I heard I Can’t Stand It by VHS Collection in my head, so the title comes from that song. 

(ARTIST APPRECIATION SUBMISSION)  

Happy Friday everyone! I know it’s been a little while since I posted one of these, and since there has been so much amazing art lately, I thought I would get back to it. This one made me gasp aloud when I first saw it, even though I KNEW it would be incredible from the second I sent the request in. @pheedraws​ literally never disappoints and always delivers absolutely stunning portraits and drawings, and this one was no exception. 

Phoebe! How do you do it? How do you manage to get so much emotion and expression in your art? How do you fit so much detail and light and life into these pieces? You are an art enchantress... an ARTchantress, and I never cease to be amazed at the magic you create. 

So from me to you, THANK YOU so much for sharing your talent with all of us. You are fabulous, you are appreciated, you are a frickin gem. 

He should not be allowed to look that good in purple aubergine and yet... 

The wide expanse of the city spread out before him as he took his seat across from the solid plate glass wall. The hotel bar that he was in offered one of the most stunning views available of Singapore at night, and while he’d been to the city countless times before on business due to the island-nation’s favorable international tax rates, he couldn’t remember the last time he had visited purely for pleasure. When was the last trip I took where I wasn’t working? He couldn’t remember that either, only able to recall the various times he’d been in the room where he sat now. Outside, the lotus shaped structure of the ArtScience museum went from orange to violet as the lights changed, the reflections bouncing off the water below and coming through the window to tint Logan’s cheeks. Maybe one’a these days I’ll get down there, check it out. I bet- 

A server came by then to deliver two tall, slender champagne flutes, and Logan let his thoughts trail off as the woman smiled. “Is there anything else I can do for you right now, Mr. Delos?” She tucked her small round tray beneath her arm, the fingers of her free hand skimming the bottom hem of her dress where it sat almost plastered to her thighs before trailing those same fingertips over the table top. Subtle. 

It wasn’t her fault. He knew that the staff here had been instructed to cater to whatever requests their high profile visitors might have. In the past he would have taken her up on her offer, but this trip, while still business related, was different for a few reasons. Logan returned her smile, undoing the button on his jacket and leaning back in his seat. “No, thank you, I’m all set for now.”   

She let her tongue slip out from between her lips before giving him another slowly spreading smile and bringing her hand up to innocently toy with one of her dangling earrings. “Well, if anything changes, I’d be happy to-” 

I’m sure you would. “I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks.” He lifted his glass to her, cocking one eyebrow as he did, then brought it to his mouth and took a large gulp. The woman nodded and turned to head back to the bar, but Logan caught her throw one last glance over her shoulder at him as she did. 

I should talk to the manager, tell ‘em that they can stop tellin’ the staff to do that with me. He let his eyes scan the room then, flitting over the faces of the people at the other booths in search of one face in particular. He laughed to himself as he brought his glass back down to the table. They’d probably look at me like I had six fuckin’ heads.  

It had been a few years since he’d chosen this location as a meeting place for a business contact, mainly because of the way things had unfolded after his last meeting there. Last time I sat in this booth I… He looked down and to his right at the empty cushion beside him. On Logan’s last visit, that space had been occupied by an attractive young man with captivating eyes with whom he’d planned to leave the hotel bar, had the Argos Initiative representatives he was meeting-if I can really call them that now that I know- not shown. He ran his palm over the dark leather upholstery. Can’t remember his name. Maybe I never even… It wouldn’t have been the first time Logan had gone to bed with someone without knowing what to call them. But I didn’t, not that night, not with him anyway. He closed his eyes and drew his hand back to the table, pointer and middle finger running up and down the stem of his glass before turning his head to the left, an involuntary frown forming as his eyes landed in the spot where William had sat on that last trip. 

He closed his eyes and turned his attention back to the floor to ceiling windows before opening them again, the golden lights of the lounge’s chandeliers joining the countless others in his field of vision. He’s gone now, no use in… Though Logan had already run though every single second of his trip to the park with his former brother in law, chastizing himself for not taking control of the situation sooner- If I’d have just fuckin’ shot her, if I’d have dragged his ass home- he hadn’t gone back further than that in his “what ifs”. But now, sitting here where it all began, he couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened had William not called it a night so early, had he been in the room with Logan when just a twitch of Angela’s finger had frozen the entire assembly of Hosts. He’d had to have seen it then. They’re not real, they’re...they’re not alive, they… With a sigh he trained his eyes on his glass as a string of tiny bubbles rose to the surface. If he’d have seen what I saw, felt what I felt, there’s no way he would have… I’d at least have seen it sooner, seen it before I brought him to the park and… 

Fuck. He hadn’t wanted to think about that time, or the initial meeting with Argos. This trip was different not only because of what Logan had gone through since the last time he’d set foot in Singapore, but because of who he had with him this time- you. He’d been hesitant to bring you with him on this trip, not because he wasn’t sure of how he felt about you or because he wanted to take the lounge’s servers up on their offers to take care of whatever he needed, but because he wasn’t sure what being back in that place would be like for him, what feelings it might bring up. While this was a business trip, and you were a contracted Delos employee, that’s not all that this trip was, and he didn’t want it to be shrouded in the pain of his past. You knew everything that had happened, so it wasn’t that he wanted to keep anything from you. I just don’t want her to have to deal with this now. She shouldn’t. She deserves...she makes me... 

His thoughts dropped off again as the face he’d been looking for finally emerged from the hall that led to the restrooms, and he felt his chest expand as he took a breath in through his nose, his mouth dropping open to let it back out. Damn. Teeth snapping back together as you moved toward him through the crowded room, Logan watched the amethyst and orange reflections from the city lights paint swatches of color across your white dress. The rush he got just from looking at you made him feel more alive than any Host could, no matter how lifelike they were, and your smile as you noticed him noticing you was enough to banish all thoughts of his last visit to the lounge.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to take so long there was,” you rolled your eyes. “Some poor girl was crying in the bathroom mirror so I,” you twirled your hand as you sunk into the seat next to him, your knee brushing his. “I talked to her for a minute and-” 

But Logan didn’t hear the rest of your sentence, instead swallowing it with a kiss as one arm wound behind your back to pull you even closer to him. “Don’t be sorry,” he spoke against your lips before pulling back to look into your eyes. “Just don’t go anywhere else.” 

Your cheeks lifted into another smile as you brought one hand up to rake your fingers through his thick hair. Damn that’s… “That can be arranged, Logan.” You leaned in then, biting down gently on his earlobe and making him suck in a breath. “Unless,” you whispered, pressing your lips to his skin and raising goosebumps, “unless you wanna come with me.” 

Oh she has no idea what she just… “Now there’s an idea.” He picked up his glass, emptying it down his throat as you winked and did the same, then grabbed for your hand. “C’mon.” He pulled you to your feet and then with another tug, dragged you into his side. “Lemme show you the rooftop. ‘F I’m gonna buy this place, I should at least give you a private tour.” 

You hummed, a spark igniting in your eye as you rose on your toes to kiss him sweet and slow, drawing it out and making his heart race like no one else ever could. As the two of you made your way out of the lounge and into the elevator, Logan realized that his past wouldn’t haunt him anymore; that there was no longer any reason for him to hold on to the ghosts when there was so much life right in front of him. 

.

.

.

Thank you a million times to all you fabulous artists! If you are an artist in the Ben Barnes fandom, or if you want to surprise an artist with a quick drabble, send me a message or link me to the piece of artwork that you would like me to write about. Let’s show these talented folks how much we appreciate them and the things that they create!

And if you would like to be added to or removed from my tag list, please feel free to drop a line! 

General Tags:  @something-tofightfor​​ @its-my-little-dumpster-fire​​ @suchatinyinfinity​​ @malionnes​ @thesumofmychoices​​ @gollyderek​​ @pheedraws​​ @beautifuldesastre​​ @alraedesigns​ @dearmarii​​ @fific7 @traeumerinwitzhelden​​ @obscurilicious​​ @luminex3​ @bisexual-space-slut​ @vetseras​ Logan Tags:  @valkblue​ @belladonnarey​ @ymariejp​ @drinix​ @jigsawlover10​ @getlostinyourparadise​ @nananananananananananabatman​ @qhostboyyy​ @ofgeneticperfection​ @delosdoll​

[kookscrescent]

Mile High (m) │ knj

➤ pairing│Namjoon x female reader ➤ summary│You’re a nervous flyer, but your boyfriend seems to find a way to help distract you from the fact that you are 35.000 feet in the air.  ➤ rating│NC-17, mature, 18+ ➤ genre│smut, fluff, boyfriend au, idol au ➤ warnings│protected sex, bathroom sex on a private jet, a tiny bit of dirty talk, slight mentions of anxiety (nothing major i promise! - mainly the fear of flying), semi public sex, joining the mile high club ➤ word count│5.3k│semi edited ➤ release date│January 3rd 2020 ➤ disclaimer│This is all fiction! Nothing mentioned/written are facts and/or real! So please just keep that in mind when reading and enjoy! Thank you ♡

⇥ Masterlist

A small but audible ding sounds throughout the cabin, indicating that it is okay for everyone to unbuckle their safety belts. Everyone around you does just that. The various clicking noises from the buckles flying through the air.

You make no move to undo yours.

The person beside you stirs, turning his body towards you. “It’s safe to unbuckle now,” Namjoon tells you quietly. His voice soothing to the nerves cursing through your body. “Are you still feeling nervous?” He goes on to ask you.

You nod. You face turning to him and being met with the gentlest of smiles. “That’s understandable. It’s your first time in a private jet… it’s smaller than a normal plane so its normal to be nervous.”

Nervous is a bit of an understatement. You are a nervous flyer in general. Every time you have to get on a plane your entire body stiffens, your toes and fingers begin to tingle and your breathing becomes erratic. More often than not, you need a person with you to help you calm down or else you are sure to have a panic attack.

And the fact that your boyfriend has just dragged you on to a small private jet just doubles all of those feelings. It would have been fine if it was just you and Namjoon traveling alone, but it’s not. You are joined by the rest of the group, and you don’t want to cause any trouble for them or be a burden by showing your anxiety about flying. You know your anxiety is “mild” compared to what some people experience and go through, so you did the best you could to try and push it aside. That led to you not saying anything in fear that your breathing would go haywire and instead you tried to keep busy by eating.

Namjoon of course noticed that you weren’t being your usual self. Normally, you are so talkative that he sometimes has to shut you up by dragging you away from a conversation or else you could go on for days. So seeing you act differently made him stay close to you. He questioned why you were acting differently and for that you are thankful, because you honestly don’t think you would have been able to give him an answer without shedding a few tears.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper feeling like you need to apologize.

Namjoon frowns, “You don’t ever have to be sorry for fearing something!” His voice has dropped an octave. It’s his serious voice. “The mere fact that you are facing one of your fears is admirable!” He tells you and softly brushes a piece of hair away from your forehead.

“Thank you,” you murmur and he presses a quick kiss to your lips.

Feeling like Namjoon has giving you some strength with his words, you reach and unbuckle the safety belt.

“There…” you say mostly to yourself but Hoseok, who is sitting directly opposite you, hears you as well and he offers you a smile.

“Nervous flyer?” He asks.

“Yeah…”

“Don’t worry, the flight will be over before you even know it.” Hoseok tries to ease your nerves, but you know it’s easier said than done. You still have 10 and a half hours left before you land in New York and there really isn’t much for you to do to distract yourself when you are 35.000 feet in the air.

You could try watching a movie like Jimin and Jin are doing, or you could pull out your book from your bag and make an attempt at reading a few chapters, but you know none of that will work. It usually never does.

You could always try to sleep the hours off… but that will result in the hell of jet lag when you eventually land.

You could ask Namjoon to listen to some music with you? At the idea you glance next to you, seeing him pull out his small notebook and pen and his headphones – he’s going to work on writing lyrics.

Your stomach sinks but you can’t help but admire him. No matter where he is or what he is doing, he finds the time to work.

Heavily you sigh and slump back into the comfortable seat. You really don’t want to disturb him when he is writing, knowing that once he gets in the zone, he like to stay in it until he himself pulls out of it.

Guess you will just have to settle on staring into the air for now. You can do that for a bit, and it will give you some time to try and calm your nerves as well.

Closing your eyes you try to relax. You try to think of a happy memory and instantly you land on the first time you and Namjoon met. Two years ago, to be exact, you met him by accident at a small bookstore in Seoul. You were on the haunt for a novel to read but the one you really wanted was up to high on a shelf you couldn’t reach.

Enter Namjoon coming to your rescue. He had noticed you from a distance, struggling to reach the book by yourself and decided to help you. He had been so quiet walking up to you that you hadn’t heard him and didn’t even notice him until he was right behind you reaching past you to get the book.

Startled, you had turned around coming face to face with his collarbones. He handed you the book with the most handsome smile you have ever seen on a person and instantly your hands started shaking as you took the book from his grasp.

At the time you didn’t recognize him and he later told you that that was the reason why he didn’t venture far away after giving you the book. He had been curious and wanted to get to know you more, but he had been too nervous to ask you out after just having met you. He was afraid of coming off as a creep.

After that he had quietly retreated to his seat but you would be lying if you said that you hadn’t been stealing a couple glances his way and one time your eyes even met and you had been so embarrassed and went to hide on the other side of the store.

But after a while Namjoon had found you again, sitting against one of the shelves with the book open in your hands. He had finally gathered courage to ask you out, and that is exactly what he did.

You smile at the memory. Clearly remembering being sceptic when he had asked you out for a coffee. You weren’t really into the whole idol scene and you still didn’t recognize him, so to you it all seemed a little… weird? You have never been one to get asked out by guys you’ve just met before, but despite everything your parents have told you about strangers, you eventually accepted his invitation for coffee.

And now two years later, here- *thud*!

You are immediately brought back to the present time in the small cabin when the plane abruptly lowers. Your heart instantly starts to beat faster and your hands grip onto the seat for dear life.

Namjoon senses your change in posture and drops the pen in his hand and turns to you. Grabbing your hand in his, he tries to calm you down. “It’s just a little turbulence.” He continuously strokes the skin on your hand with his thumb – creating a little comfort in your body knowing that he understands. Slowly you start to relax again.

“I know, I know… I just,” breathing deeply you try to find words to justify how you are feeling, but truth is you know that it’s just turbulence, but your mind immediately goes into panic mode. “I need to find a way to distract myself.”

Namjoon switches his hold on your hand to interlacing your fingers. “What about watching a movie?” He suggests.

You smile, “That usually never works. I can never seem to focus enough on the movie to actually distract myself.” You tell him, the corners of your lips turning down to a frown. “Same goes for reading a book.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? We can talk and listen to some music together.”

“I didn’t want to interrupt you when you were writing.”

“Screw that!” He says and makes a show of closing his notebook. “I don’t have a deadline and I already have more than enough songs and melodies written for the next three albums. You are not feeling well so I would rather use my time trying to get you mind off all your worries.”

You can’t help but shy away from his eyes. The way he looks at you so adoringly when saying this has your stomach whirling with butterflies of the good kind. How you ever came to deserve being with someone as perfect as Namjoon is beyond you.

“No Joon, it’s fine… really, I don’t wa-“

“I’ve got it.” He suddenly lowers his voice so only you can hear him – even though everyone else is too occupied doing their own thing or sleeping.

“Go to the bathroom and wait for me there,” he whispers, his eyes gleaming with mischief. “I’ll knock six times so you will know its me.”

“What? Why?” You question.

“Just go.”

He makes a maneuver to pull your hand up and your body automatically follows. Standing from your seat you, you step past Namjoon and scurry down the narrow pathway between the seats and the rest of the boys. No one seems to take any care in it, probably thinking that you are just going to use the restroom. To say that you are confused is an understatement.

When you get to the bathroom, you double check that it is vacant before going inside. You gasp as the door closes behind you. This has got to be the most spacious and luxurious airplane bathroom you have ever seen! You could fit like ten people in here!

Wow!

“There’s a shower?!” You gasp with no one to answer you.

In awe, amazed at today’s technology as you step further inside the bathroom, trying to understand the concept of putting such a bathroom in a small jet. Either you are really stupid, or your brain is too wrapped around your anxiety and is drained from energy because you can’t seem to wrap your brain around this. You would be afraid to even sit on the toilet!

Footsteps emerge from the other side of the door shortly after and you wait. Someone begins knocking.

*knock* *knock* *knock* *knock* *knock*

You wait for the sixth knock before opening the door…

… *knock*

Namjoon slips through the open door, carefully making sure to lock it behind him. You stare at him in confusion, your brows knit together.

“Well?” you ask him expectantly.

“I know how to make you think of something else.”

“Okay… how?” You aren’t really sure what being in the bathroom has to do with that.

After a few moments of silence he answers you with a sly smile on his lips, “Let’s have sex.”

“W-What?” you stutter.

“Let’s have sex.” He repeats and steps closer to you.

“We’re on a plane Namjoon!” You whisper harshly, afraid that someone will walk by the door and hear you.

“So? Lots of people have sex on planes,” he tells you with no care. “It will help you take your mind off of things for a while.”

“Yes but… but the guys are right outside that door!” you sharply point to the closed door. Surely they would be able to hear every single sound you were to make in here. Right? “They’ll hear us!”

“So what? Do you honestly think they haven’t already heard us at the dorm?”

“Oh my god,” you murmur in embarrassment.

Namjoon takes two steps and your chests come in contact. He gently backs you up against the sink and rests his hands on your hips. “Have you never been the slightest bit curious to what it’s like having sex on a plane, huh?” he places a kiss just below your ear, his soft lips tickling your skin. Your hands find his wrists for support. “I can help you baby – another kiss – let me help you forget.” His voice has turned to a hoarse whisper, his words rolling through your body like an electric current.

“But they’ll he-“

He shushes you with a kiss to your lips. He lingers there for a moment letting you feel him before he pulls away. “Stop thinking about them,” he whispers, “right now it’s just you and I… okay?”

Even though he has worked himself into a hot mess, Namjoon waits for your confirmation to proceed, and only when you nod and a softly whispered yes follows, does he reconnect your lips.

Barely grazing your lips, he gently lures you in and as your lips become one all your previous worries seem to fade to the back of your mind. Moving together in sync, you move your hands from his wrists to the back of his neck where you bury your fingers in his soft locks.

He has been growing out his hair lately, and you must say that you agree with the decision!

Gradually, your kiss grows heavier. Every breath gets mingled and Namjoon’s hands travel from your hips and down your thighs. Carefully, he lifts you and sets you down on the counter space behind you.

At this angle you can fully bring him to you, your chests smushing together and you wrap your legs around his narrow waist.

His hands never rest – this time cupping both sides of your jaw to tilt your head to the side. The kiss gets heavier. You tongue is battling with his for dominance but in the end, you just give up and let him win. You like it when he takes the lead anyways.

Parting from your lips, he showers you in wet pecks down the side of your left cheek, across your jaw and down your neck, till he reaches your collarbone. There he gently bites the skin and the slight sting it leaves behind is quickly soothed by his tongue.

Moving his lips up again, he settles on a spot just below your jaw. Your sweet spot. Namjoon knows fully well that this spot makes you see stars, and of course he doesn’t waste any time in making your head spin by sucking on the tender skin there.

You gasp. The grip you have on his hair tightening and you crane your neck to allow him better access.

All your previous thoughts and worries are flying out of the door one by one with each suck and kiss to your neck. After two years of being in a relationship, Namjoon knows your body in and out – sometimes you even wonder if he knows your body better than you do. The possibility is there!

You are so distracted by your own thoughts, that you don’t even register Namjoon undoing the string on your sweatpants until his hand is already down the front of your pants – his fingers skimming over the front of your panties.

You already know where he is headed with this, “Namjoon we don’t have time for that,” you gaspingly tell him.

But he just ignores you. His fingers continuing to skim over your soaked panties… once, twice… before he pushes them aside to allow his fingers to feel your wetness. Doing your best, you attempt to hold back the groan that is threatening to leave you throat.

Despite everything you are still well aware that more than a handful of people are on the other side of the door, and they will most likely be able to hear you moaning if you don’t hold back.

He rises from the spot on your neck, your eyes connecting and exchanging a heated look before he slots his lips over yours in a lazy kiss. Two of his fingers have found their way through your soaked slit and down to your equally if not even more soaked entrance. Automatically, you are clenching around nothing but air, waiting for them moment when his fingers enter you.

You were so against the idea of having sex in an airplane bathroom only minutes ago, but with each kiss, each touch and each breath, you are becoming more and more desperate.

“Namjoon,” you whine, breaking your kiss as a rushed breath fills the room when he finally enters you with two of his fingers.

He gives you no time to adjust to the intrusion. His fingers quickly working up a rhythm that leaves you short for breath. Clinging on to him, your hands fisting in his hair and his t shirt, you bite down on his shoulder when he brings his thumb into the mix. He works it over your clit in soft circles and he slows down the pace of his fingers to match.

He slants his other hand over your clothed breast, squeezing and massaging – a pleasure added to the already burning euphoria rushing through your body. You groan, “Please,” you whisper without really knowing what you want.

You lock eyes, “What is it baby?” he breaths, planting a kiss on the corner of your lips. Down south his fingers never seize – working you softly and slowly.  

“You!” your entire body is heavy with the desire for him to do something, anything! “Just…You!”

He responds, not with words, but by looking deep into your eyes while he begins scissoring his fingers inside of you. With every push he can feel you clenching around his digits, your body craving his touch. Curling his fingers upward, he hit a tender spot that has you seeing white and the moan that escapes is inevitable.

“God, I love the sounds you make, but you have to keep it to a minimum baby.”

“I’m – ugh fuuck – I’m not going to last much longer!” you desperately mumble, trying to hold on to him as the pleasure fills you from head to toe.

The tension is building in your stomach, and your hips carelessly buck against his hand trying to create more friction to set off your orgasm. And just as the tension is about to snap, Namjoon pulls away from you completely. You whine, closing your eyes and aimlessly trying to pull him back to you.

“Why?!”

He chuckles as he battles with your fumbling hands, trying to undo his pants. “Don’t you want the real deal baby?” you nod before he is even done asking the question and no sooner do you hear the faint sound of his pants pooling around his ankles.

“Hop down and turn around,” he instructs, reaching for the condom that lays next to the sink. You hadn’t even noticed it laying there until now.

With shaky legs, you hop off the counter and automatically your sweatpants slide down your legs and you kick them off when they reach your feet. Hooking your thumbs in the side of your panties, you slide them off as well.  

Behind you, you hear the familiar sound of foil ripping and Namjoon seethes himself with the latex, “Don’t wanna make a mess,” he says and steps up behind you, his hands grabbing your ass to pull you against him.

You can feel his hard erection pressing against you, the latex somewhat of a disappointment, but he is right – now is not the time to make a mess.

“Please,” you whimper, your eyes connecting in the mirror in front of you.

“Please what? What do you want?”

“You. Please, just… I need you.”

Namjoon’s eyes drop to where he is fisting himself, giving his cock a few pumps before he lightly shifts and pushes the head inside of your waiting entrance. Already, you are tensing around him, making it harder for him to push inside fully, but with two sharp thrusts, he seethes himself fully.

Both of you groan in unison when he hits home, and Namjoon has to calm himself with a deep breath and concentrate hard on not coming on the spot. You are clenching and unclenching around his cock like crazy. You didn’t know the extent of your desperation and need, but your body is clearly speaking for itself.

Slowly, he starts a rhythm. A rhythm that stretches you out so perfectly and each subsequent stroke is making your eyes roll to the back of your head. You whimper his name a little too loud and you bite your lip. But the shame that was starting to fill your body quickly washes away with the look of pure lust and love Namjoon sends you through the mirror.

Namjoon pulls you flush against his chest. One of his arms reaching around your shoulder to your chest to keep you upright. With the same hand he grabs your breast, while the other sneaks down your body to the place where you are connected. His nimble fingers quickly find your clit, drawing quick circles over it.

You can already feel the telltales of your orgasm. “Are you gonna cum around my cock?” Namjoon whispers against your ear, his hot breath sending tingles down your spine.

“Yeah!” You erratically nod and drop your head back against his shoulder.

“Good girl,” he praises.

He speeds up. His hips snapping against your ass and the sound of skin on skin filling the bathroom. His fingers speed up too, matching the rhythm of his cock pounding in and out of your heat. He is drawing whimper after whimper from your lips and they gradually become louder as he keeps going.

Needing you to keep quiet, he moves his hand from your breast to cover your mouth. With the immense pleasure cursing through your body, your legs feel like jelly and you desperately try to hold on to anything in reach to not fall.

With one final punching thrust, your muffled whimpers turn to moans and you crash into euphoria. You are shaking wildly in Namjoon’s arms as he rides you through the waves, his cock nor his fingers on your clit seizing their movements.

Gasping for air, you slump forward onto the cold counter space, as Namjoon chases after his own orgasm – his cock continuously pounding you. Every muscle inside of you is vibrating, clenching and unclenching from the aftershock of your orgasm.

“Fuuuuck,” you hear him hiss before his head drops to your shoulder and his warm seeds fills up the condom. “Shit!”Namjoon rests his forehead on your back as he comes down, trying to catch his breath.

Eventually, he pulls away and slips from your heat. Instantly you miss the fell of him inside of you, the stretch and the way he fills you up.

You close your eyes as you bask in the post orgasm feelings. Every inch of you feels warm, your eyelids heavy and your heart full. If you had been in a bed right now, you would have turned around and cuddled all night long.

Faintly, you hear Namjoon throwing away the condom and pulling on his pants, “Are you okay?” he gently asks you when you make no move to move from your position.

With your eyes still closed, you nod, “Yeah…”

Namjoon can’t help but laugh at your fucked-out state. With your pants and underwear around your ankles and the lazy smile on your lips. You look too adorable for him to handle!

“Come on you,” he coos.

You protest when he gently peels you back to stand up. “You can’t stay in here forever,” he tells you and end up laughing when you pout.

He presses a kiss to your pouting lips before helping you clean up and get dressed. The hole time you pout. In this moment you are feeling so at ease and so relaxed that you don’t want to go back out there in case any previous feelings come back.

Running his thumb over the frown between your brows, Namjoon pulls you in for a hug.

“You smell like sex,” you say, your comment muffled against his shirt.

His chest shakes with laughter, “Yeah, well so do you,” releasing you, he reaches past you, “here, use this.”

“What is it?” you ask, taking the small perfume like bottle from him.

“It’s air freshener.”

“You’re kidding!” you deadpan. “You want me to spray air freshener on myself?”

“And on me.”

“Ew!”

“Oh come on,” he takes the bottle from your hands and sprays himself three times. “It’s either this or go back out there smelling like sex.”

Reluctantly, you take the bottle and give yourself a few sprays. It doesn’t smell bad – it leaves a sort of fresh and foresty smell lingering behind. But now you just smell like you’ve been in the woods camping for a week.

It’s better than smelling like sex, you guess.

“Ready to go out?” he asks.

“In a second,” you reply and turn to the mirror. The reflection that greets you is somewhat of a mess. Smoothing your hands down your hair you try to tame the stray pieces. Fortunately, you opted to not wear any makeup this morning, so you don’t have to worry about your mascara sitting halfway down your face or your foundation being smudge.

“Now I’m ready,” you say when you realize that this is as good as it’s going to get at this point.

With a bowed head you follow Namjoon back to your seats. No one looks up in curiosity when you both sit back down, everyone still occupied with their own things or sleeping. Maybe no one noticed you were both gone.

You sneak a look around the cabin, Jin is still watching a movie but Jimin alongside with Yoongi has fallen asleep. Jimin’s headphones are still in his ears and his feet are tugged under neat him. Jungkook is also asleep, stretched out on the seat in front of Jin. You can lightly hear him snoring. Cute.

Your eyes lock with Hoseok when you turn back. You don’t know why, but your cheeks instantly heat up. Maybe it’s because he is the only one that is not wearing any headphones? There could be a good chance that he heard what went down in the bathroom just seconds ago.

“Are you feeling any better?” he surprises you by asking.

“I-I am, thank you.”

“Good,” his innocent smile makes you feel a little more at ease. Without any further words he returns to the writing in the notebook in front of him.

Leaning back in your seat, you feel more relaxed than when you first sat down. Namjoon was right. The sex really did help you take your mind off of things and has helped you feel more comfortable.

Next to you, Namjoon offers you a bottle of water which you gladly accept and chuck about half of it before setting it down.

“Thirsty?” Namjoon quirks amused.

“Shut up,” you lightly push his shoulder with yours and hide your face behind your hair.

“Do you want to listen to some music?” he asks.

Shaking your head, you decline his offer, “No, it’s okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive,” you nod with a smile. “I’m gonna try and read my book.”

Namjoon accepts your explanation and takes the headphones for himself. Within seconds he begins jotting down lyrics on the white paper in front of him.

You pull your book from you bag. It’s a book you’ve only just started reading, and you don’t know how far you will get on this flight, but you might as well give it a try now that your body and mind seems to not focus so much on being 35.000 feet in the air.

You are only a few sentences into the book when Jungkook stirs awake on the other side of the aisle. His sleepy figure sitting up and rubbing his eyes from sleep. He looks around, almost confused, before he stands and walks the path to the bathroom.

With wide eyes, your stomach drops. What is you left something behind in there? Did you remember to put on your panties?! Yes, yes! You remembered! Thank god! Shit! What did Namjoon do with the condom? No, he would obviously have thrown that in the bin!

You tell yourself that there is no need to worry so much and you focus back on your book, turning a page and starting on a new chapter.

Minutes later Jungkook comes trudging back, his face a little paler than before. He comes to a stop in the middle of the aisle, right next to Namjoon’s seat.

Jungkook looks at Namjoon waiting for him to look back up at him and when he eventually does Jungkook speaks, “The next time you have sex in the bathroom remember to throw away the used condom properly.”

Red! Your entire face goes as red as a tomato! Namjoon didn’t throw away the condom?!

“Sorry,” Namjoon mumbles slightly embarrassed. “Did you…?”

“No I did not!” Jungkook shrieks in disgust, and on a laugh Namjoon leaves his seat to go take care of the situation in the bathroom.

You are left behind, mortified and you wish there was some way for you to hide, but for now you can only settle on hiding behind your hair. You don’t dare look around you, but you can feel both Jungkook and Hoseok’s eyes on you as you continue to remain silent.

“Decided to join the mile high club huh?” It’s Hoseok’s bemused voice that fills the silence just as Namjoon returns.

“I…”

“Stop embarrassing her Hoseok,” Namjoon tells him trying to sound stern, but you still catch the slight smirk in his voice. “It was my idea.”

You turn to the comfort of your boyfriend. Burying your face in his shoulder as you let your face cool down. You can feel his shoulder shaking with laughter.

“You are enjoying this, aren’t you?!” you ask pulling away.

He tries, but fails to not laugh, “A little bit.”

“You’re mean,” you pout with your arms crossed over your chest.

“It’s not that big of a deal babe,” he assures you. He pulls your arms from your chest to hug you closer to him. Your pout remains on your lips as you continue to sulk in embarrassment. “Everyone has sex.”

“Who is having sex?” Everyone turns to Jin who has finished his movie and is now joining your conversation.

“Joon and ____ had sex in the bathroom and forgot to throw away the condom.” Hoseok tells him.

“Ew!” Jin comments with a scrunched nose.

“And Jungkook found it.”

“Ew!” Jin repeats.

“Guys…” you whine. You don’t know whether to cry or laugh at this.

Namjoon repeats his previous words, “It’s no big deal ____.”

Obviously, you know that, but it’s still embarrassing to have one of his members – one of your friends – find the condom you used and call you out for it in front of everyone!

“Yeah, it’s no big deal,” Jungkook agrees from his seat. “Everyone has sex. Just, please for the love of god, remember to throw away your condoms if you ever wanna do it again! That is not a sight I ever wanna se again!” He shudders at the memory.

“Okay fine!” you grunt. “Can we please talk about something else now?!” you beg them.

They all agree to let it go and a silence settles over the cabin. Lazily, you open your book once again and try to zone in on the words on the page. It works for a little while, until Hoseoks voice rings through the cabin making everyone but you laugh.

“So, who else have joined the mile high club?”

“You are really not going to let this go, are you?” you ask with a groan.

“Nope,” Jin pops.

This flight suddenly got very long for an entirely different reason.

Thank you for reading! Remember, every reblog and comment truly motivates creators to keep on creating!

All Rights Reserved © 2020 Kookscrescent

[theabandonmentissues]

EPISODE ONE TRANSCRIPT

Warning: The following podcast is for entertainment purposes only. Trespassing is not only illegal, but often incredibly dangerous. The hosts do not condone any activities that could put their listeners in harms way, and encourage you to proceed with caution and do your research before exploring the unknown. We cannot be held liable for any accidents, injury, or hauntings that may occur. Listener discretion is advised. 

(full transcript under the cut.)

E:Alright I think this is right.

Z: Is it?

E: Yeah, yeah that's right, okay.

Z: Beautiful.

E: Let me find this tweet. The first thing in my drafts, is (laughs)-

Z: I'm scared.

E: (laughs)...I remember typing this out at like 2 o'clock in the morning when I had to be up for work at five. I put, “I love not learning new pop culture terms. Love being blissfully unaware. I still am not sure what poggers means. I do not care. I am free.”

Z: (laughs)

E: And I was so tired I thought that was profound. Let's see.

Z: (continues laughing)

E & Z: (laugh)

Z: Damn. That's like our declaration of independence.

E: (laughs) I'm going to print that out on the wall.

Z: That's Gen Z's declaration.

E: Let's see, where is it? There's one about Jack Black being sexy.

Z: Yeah, and it's in the drafts, why?

E: (laughs) This one says, this one all it says, no capitalization, no punctuation is, “I want Ellen Ripley to knock me out cold.”

E: (laughs)

Z: (laughs)

E: And I live by that.

Z: That's your truth and you should speak it.

E: Okay, here it is. “Sometimes, facing your fears means letting out that earth-shattering fart in the public restroom, even if there are other occupants. Speak loud, even when your voice shakes, babes.”

Z: (laughs) Shut the fuck up.

E: (laughs)

Z: No!

E: Yeah, that one...uh, that one is in the drafts. Alright, well. You asked about an intro, and I had something that was work shopping.

Z: Oooooo...

E: Do you wanna hear it?

Z: Yes, please. Please, please.

E: Alright. Hello, welcome to The Abandonment Issues, a periodical podcast about the past, the paranormal, and the just plain perplexing. I'm your host, Em.

Z: And I'm Zack.

E: How'd you feel-

Z: The other host. (laughs)

E: How'd you feel about that alliteration?

Z: You know I love alliteration.

E: I do too, I got really excited about it.

Z: (laughs)

E: I was like dead asleep, well, I wasn't dead asleep. I was very close to being though.

Z: Right.

E: And I had that thought, and I was like “Fuck, I gotta wake up and type that.” So...

Z: It was worth it though.

E: Thank you.

Z: I like it.

E: I don't know if that'll stick, but I think-

Z: I don't know, it's a start

E: It's a good start. Yeah.

Z: Yeah. Well..

E: So.

Z: Howdy doody, how ya doing.

E: Oh god, well um, I just whacked my headphones against my mic and I think it's still vibrating. But otherwise, I'm doing great.

Z: (laughs) Well, that's good.

E: How ya been?

Z: I mean, I've been alright.

E: That's good.

Z: We haven't seen each other, I mean, we haven't like recorded-recorded in two weeks?

E: Yeah.

Z: It's been like two weeks, so.

E: Yeah, I think so.

Z: It's been a second, but yeah.

E: Oh?

Z: So.

E: This is our first official, like official recording, the other ones were just tests, so.

Z: So, it's a little different, yeah. Like Em said, we did a couple recordings, so we kind of like, dipped our toes in the water of what it's like to just get behind the mics and stuff, but again this is our first episode, and we kinda just wanted to, lean in and kind of explain why we are here.

E: Yeah.

Z: What we are going to be doing, things we are going to talk about et cetera, et cetera.

E: Yeah.

Z: So. Do you want to-let's start with the-we have a couple ice breaker questions.

E: I'm so excited.

Z: Because, okay, so, you have a college degree.

E: I do.

Z: I have college credits. So we both went to college. (laughs)

E: Yes.

Z: You know, it's fun to do the ice breaker questions when you start a class.

E: Yeah.

Z: Because, even if you don't pay attention to anything that anybody else says-

E: Someone is going to change something that changes your life.

Z: Every single time-

E: Especially, I'm sorry to interrupt.

Z: No, you're good.

E: But, especially if you are playing two truths and a lie. I have found that that is the ice breaker game that I come away changed forever, like I've learned some things about some people playing that game. Are you okay?

Z: There's a burp coming.

E: (laughs)

E: Just let 'er out.

Z: (burps) There it is. (laughs)

E: Wow, that was lovely.

Z: Not to derail, real quick, but-

E: Go for it.

Z: Have you ever used Bumble?

E: Very briefly.

Z: One of my favorite things about Bumble, is that you can do like questions or whatever-

E: And that's one of 'em.

Z: That's one of them! It really, it's really telling. And I love, cause one of my truths is always so bizarre. You know which one I am talking about, but no one ever goes for it.

E: I honestly can't-

Z: The car. *laughs*

E: Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that one is pretty unbelievable. But-

Z: Yeah, we'll save that for another time.

E: I've seen that one, uh, I've seen the repercussions of that one in real time.

Z: Anyway.

Z: (laugh)

E: Alright, well...

Z: Episode one, we are going to expose my entire past.

E: Yeah.

Z: Okay, so. When we first kind of, started talking about the idea for this podcast, which really was just bred, I think just kind of like a joke text that I sent. Or that you sent.

E: I honestly don't even remember.

Z: It was, I mean just the, the very cliché, “We should start a podcast!” and then it just kind of went from there. Just I mean, 2020.

E: Yeah.

Z: It's nothing but boredom. When when we first started talking about, what we wanted to do with our podcast. It really just stemmed from, for me anyway, just really wanting to bring light to the history that exists here in the south.

E: Yeah we didn't really say that, we-

Z: No. (laughs)

E:...we are in the south, we are some good 'ol southern boys.

Z: Just a couple of southern boys.

E: Yea!

Z: We grew up very close to each other, as far as, location.

E: Yeah.

Z: And you know, our high schools probably taught around the same genre and path of like history.

E: Yeah.

Z: It's all white washed and gross. Bleh. But-

E: It's only getting worse, did you hear that Tennessee is like, passing laws to, how did they put it, it's so, it's such bullshit. Basically erasing any history of slavery or discrimination. I think that call it something like Radical Race Theory.

Z: Well, that's great. Welcome to our podcast where we are gonna nip all that in the butt.

E: Yeah.

Z: Because truly, like Em just stated, it's only getting worse, apparently. Jesus Christ, I hate Tennessee.

E: Yeah, I found out like a week ago.

E: Hi guys this is Em, I'm doing the editing, and I just wanted to clarify something really quick. When we were recording this episode, I misspoke and I said that this concept was called Radical Race Theory, but that is incorrect. The correct term is Critical Race Theory. So, I am sorry for that error. If you don't know what a ban like this would mean, the short version is basically, is that American lawmakers are trying to dictate and restrict what can and can't be taught in public schools about the history of systemic racism and slavery in the United States. I'm going to include some links in our resources for the episode where you can learn more about this and we really encourage you to check those out and do your research, because this is obviously an important part of American history for everyone. To erase these topics from lesson plans, really presents a biased and skewed version of events. Anyway, I'm sorry for that error and I hope you enjoy the rest of the episode .

Z: There's just so much history and just stories that are just passed down even by even just word of mouth-

E: Mmhmm

Z:...down here in the south. That literally no one knows about.

E: Yeah.

Z: I think that's, that really is what piqued our interest. When we were throwing around the idea of this podcast to begin with, it really was just like, “We're gonna find an abandoned building, we're going to dig into the research of it, and we're going to talk about this abandoned place.” And from what we are now, it's really expanded to literally just like a history lesson.

E: History, I think it's important to not only to cover the actual facts, but also, I think, not necessarily, like fiction and urban legends and that kind of thing. I think that sort of thing has a lot to do with like story telling, and the culture of the area like-

Z: Right.

E:..like there are, you know, you have things from like, the stories that your grandmother would tell you to keep you from being a little shit when you were a kid.

Z: (laughs)

E: Or, you know, why if there's like an anecdote for why is the sky blue, how did this mountain range be formed. Y'know I think stuff like that is really interesting. When you're driving along some random ass back road and you see an old house, and you think, “Huh, I wanna know the history of that place.” That is the kind of, the kind of thing, that I think really inspires me, is like. Seeing something, not knowing anything about it, wanting to learn about it.

Z: Exactly. And-

E: (laughs)

Z:...we had created like a little baby list of questions that we wanted to ask. When we first started kind of throwing around the idea of what we wanted to do. We kind of already covered a couple of them. But I guess I'll just kind of go down the list again.

E: Okay, sure.

Z: Just to kind of like, ya know, put the nail in the coffin, so to speak.

E: Yeah.

Z: So, the first question that we have, is who or what are our inspirations?

E: Okay.

Z: So I would say, for me personally, like I said, just growing up, and like I can't think of anything off the top of my head. But like growing up and learning that an event happened. Or someone did this thing and, you come to realize later on in life that what you were taught, wasn't necessarily the truth. The whole truth, anyway.

E: Yeah.

Z: So for me, I guess, it's not so much a who, as so much as a what. For me it's just really like uncovering what is real.

E: Okay, yeah.

Z: So.

E: I think, I think that's a good way to put it. And I feel like, y'know, disclaimer, we are not perfect, we are probably not always going to do perfect research. You know, we're not exposing all the facts, in their, 100% true form, 'cause you know. We're just taking the information that we can find and putting that to use. But I agree, I think that that's a big part of it for me is like. I can remember several times when I was younger, like having a teacher, do a lesson and be like, “Oh well this thing happened,” and then being like well, “Okay I want to know more about that but I don't know how.” And now, you know, I'm an adult, and I have better research skills, so.

Z: Right.

E: I think it's a far more entertaining use of my time, that what I was doing previously. Which was just, laying on the floor and looking at TikTok.

Z: Right. (laughs)

E: (laughs)

Z: TikTok truly, worms in my brain.

E: Yeah.

Z: But, it truly, this is just, even, I mean, we've been batting around the idea of this podcast for a couple months.

E: Mmhmm.

Z: And just getting started, and doing the research and like looking into these stories, has been so much fun.

E: Oh yeah.

Z: And, I know the story that you're going to cover today has been one.

E: Yes.

Z: And I know that I've heard bits and pieces throughout our friendship, pretty much.

E: Mmhmm.

Z: And we've known each other for awhile.

E: Mmhmm.

Z: So I'm excited to get, like the full, like get in there.

E: Yeah, I'm excited about yours too, because like,it-it's, I mean, I think, I feel like maybe comparatively I might know just a tiny bit more about yours than you might know about mine.

Z: Right.

E: Just because I've been to this location.

Z: Right.

E: And I've like snooped around there.

Z: Everyone has in this area.

E: Yeah.

Z: Well, goals for the podcast. Do you have any goals in mind?

E: I want a Lamborghini.

Z: I want to be Mr. Beast.

E: I thought you were *laughs* I thought you were gonna say Mr. Bean.

E&Z: *laugh*

E: Oh my god, which actually-

Z: That too.

E:...derailed, for a second, but this is relevant considering what I just said, um, did you know-do you listen...I know you like Gracie Helbig and Mamrie Hart.

Z: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

E: Do you listen to their podcast?

Z: Oh yeah.

E: Have you heard the one where they talk about how Mr. Bean has wrecked two McLarens?

Z: YES!

E: Apparently the man has like a 170 IQ and a passion, a deep burning passion for sports cars. And he has-I don't know if he has if he has wrecked two different ones or if it's the same one that he's wrecked twice. But he is currently trying to sell it for like 12 million dollars. And that, I have thought about that fact all fucking week. All week. They were talking about cars at work yesterday and I had to just like clench my fists and hold in the fact that I wanted to yell across the expo station, “MR. BEAN HAS WRECKED TWO MCLARENS!” Anyway.

Z: Truly it's a-

E: So sorry, but I had to get that off my chest

Z: Oh my god.

E: Rowan Atkincenter, what is his name? Ronan? Rowan Atkinson?

Z: Mr. Bean?

E: Yeah.

Z: I don't know his-the only thing I know about Mr. Bean is that he has wrecked two McLarens.

E&Z: *laughs*

E: Oh my god..

Z: Um, jesus. Goals for the podcast for me um. Yeah, a Lamborghini would be nice.

E: It would be nice, wouldn't it?

Z: No, truthfully, and I feel like I've said this like 50 times already. It's just getting the information out there. Letting people be in the know about what's going on in the south. Because I feel like *clears throat* excuse me. There's like this weird stigma against the south.

E: For sure.

Z: And it's just poor and dirty...

E: And ignorant.

Z: And ignorant. And like, there's so much that goes on down here that no one really knows about because it is so outside of “normal society?”

E: Yeah.

Z: I guess in other people's eyes? And that's even just like in the United States, even outside of the United States I'm sure that...The south is just like a cesspool of jokes.

E: Yeah.

Z: But-

E: Well I agree with that. I think that it's very much, uh there's a disconnect between like, people who actually live here and people that have never been here. And just like how it's, you know portrayed in the media. There's so. I think there's something like, I don't know the exact statistics, but I'm pretty sure that if you actually look at the numbers there is so much more diversity than in a good deal of the United States. Like, um I was reading something the other day that said that the south, like the American south is one of the most diverse places in terms of like LGBT folks and I'm not sure if that's true. But honestly, I would believe it. But yeah, I think that that's very much, getting the information out there, but also, it's a desire, personally, it's you know, a desire for more information in general.

Z: True.

E: Because-

Z: Yeah.

E: You know, I've lived here my whole life and I feel like I know a lot of cool little bits and pieces about stuff but you can always learn more.

Z: Oh yeah.

E: That is my motto.

Z: 100%.

E: You can always, always find something else out. Even if it's something that you think that you know everything about it, you can always dig deeper and find out more. So.

Z: 100%.

E: For sure, for sure.

Z: This next question is past exploration stories. I'm about to tell one of mine.

E: Okay.

Z: That's my whole story. So, do you have any that you would like to share?

E: Hm...

Z: I mean, I've done like geocaching, that sort of thing, but like.

E: Yeah,

Z: Other than that, like.

E: Yeah. I have been geocaching, I actually, I have been to the location you're going to cover today. And I thought I was going to get in big trouble, because the owner pulled up in his pickup truck and I was so afraid. I was there with my sister and, Vivian, I don't know if you'll hear this. But um, my friend Vivian, and we were walking around. We climbed the steps. We like went-I was too chicken shit to go all the way up to the top because it's a very tall structure and the stairs are very old. And I was like “nope, Imma go halfway but this step is broken, I'm not going any farther.” And then we came back down and this guy pulled up and I was like “Oh god, he's gonna get so mad at us.” He pulled up and we had Vivian's puppy with us and he rolled the window of his truck down, and he was like, “Can I give the dog a biscuit?!” And we were like, “Yes sir you can!” And he just stood there and talked to us for a little while, it was very cool.

Z: Yeah.

E: But yeah, I can't think of anything other than that, not offhand. I would like to make some more.

Z: Yeah. Same.

E: I have not been in an old building in a cool minute. Um, actually, I'm sorry, I did think of one.

Z: No, you're good.

E: Uh, we were walking around, I don't want to triangulate our location. *laughs*

Z: Right.

E: But we were, a couple of my friends and I, were walking around in this, kind of like, like uh small back road I guess you would say near one of their houses. And there was this old kind of a house? I don't know if it was actually a house at one point or if it was just like a shed. But we uh, hiked back a little off the road and went in there, and there was just like all these old bottles. Like, from the '50s all over the floor and that's something that I collect, and I was like “Oh shit, this is private property, I know we're probably trespassing. Imma take some of these bottles.” And I had a coat on with big pockets. So I put a couple of them in my pocket.

Z: *laughs*

E: And we hiked back out, and my mom called me, and I was probably like, I don't know sixteen, seventeen maybe?

Z: Sure.

E: She was like, “Hey where are you?” And I was like “We went for a walk, we're walking back to so and so's house.” and she was like “ Okay well, we'll meet you up there, I have something to give you,” and I was like “okay.” And when she pulled up I was like, “I have something to give YOU.” And she was like “What?” and I pulled out this crusty ass bottle of like vanilla extract from the 1960s, and was like, “Here ya go!” And my mom of course, I get that fascination from her, she also collects that stuff. So she was like, “Wow! This is so cool, where did you get it?” And I was like, “Well...-

Z: *laughs* That spooky building! As the thunder claps.

E:...we went in that spooky house.” And she was like, “Oh my god that's dangerous!!” And I was like, “Well, we already did it.”

Z: Yeah.

E: So yeah, that was fun. I love doing shit like that.

Z: God, me too. Is this trespassing? I love trespassing.

E: (laughs) I do, I do.

Z: Oh my god.

E: Yeah.

Z: Any topics that you wanna cover, discuss, why?

E: I think we both have a list of stuff that we would like to cover in the future.

Z: Right.

E: I will say, I don't want this to be like specifically true crime. Like I don't want to have all my stories be in one genre. I will say that some of them are paranormal related, some of them are true crime related, some of them are just general history.

Z: Same yeah.

E: I am always, I have very much a morbid curiosity.

Z: Same.

E: I will do my best to treat those with respect and there is one in particular that I am very interested to cover, because I have never heard of it, and it happened, like, in the town that I grew up in, which is very small.

Z: Right.

E: Not a whole lot of reported murders, but his name is Joe Shepherd and he was a killer in that area in the 70s I believe? And I was having a conversation with a friend of mine one day, when we were, like, first work shopping this. I don't think we'd even bought our mics yet-

Z: I don't think so either

E:...and we were talking about it, and she was just like, “Oh you know about Joe Shepherd right?” And I said, “No?” And she was like, “ Yeah, he murdered somebody and put her in the wood pile.” And I was like, “EXCUSE ME, how have I never heard this?!” So I uh, I have to, have to know more about that. I gotta know whats going on.

Z: Right. For me it's kind of in the same vein of, I mean my stories are kind of gonna be everywhere, but I'm really excited for my story for the next podcast that we're gonna do. Because it was right around the time where we started really figuring out what we wanted to do for sure with this podcast. And we went to just like a couple of used bookstores just to look for some, just some paper sources. And I found a book that was super cool, very interesting. Loved it, I've read it like twice already.

E: Oh really the whole thing?

Z: It's not very long, but I've read it like twice already, just reading through. The first story in that book is truly whacko-

E: Yeah?

Z:..so I'm going to cover that the next time we record

E: That's exciting.

Z: And I'm really excited for it. It's a missing persons. We won't say true crime, but I'll say it's a missing persons.

E: Yeah, 'cause we're not really sure if a crime was committed. Like I don't really know the whole story obviously but you've told me bits and pieces, and you know, there's several theories right? Of what actually happened?

Z: Oh yeah, I've got a couple theories that I have that I wanna, but we'll get to that.

E: We'll get to that next time.

Z: Alright, so full disclosure, this whole operation, it's just us, it's me and Em and Em and me. We do have an assistant.

E: Vanessa.

Z: Her name is Linda and we love her.

E: We love Tracy with all our hearts

Z: Veronica, she really gets it done. We asked our lovely assistant, Carly, to get some normal ice breaker questions outside of the podcast because it's really, like we said before it's really telling of someone's character to have these questions answered and we just told. We told Carol to go nuts, so.

E: I'm excited for this, because you've had a little bit of a look at these, I don't know anything.

Z: I've read like the first two, and was like okay, I can see the direction that Sharon's going. Okay, so you haven't looked at these, I've read a couple so I'm just gonna go for it.

E: Let's go.

Z: The first one is if you could be on any reality/game show what would you choose?

E: Wheel of Fortune.

Z: Wheel of Fortune?

E: I always loved Wheel of Fortune. Or Jeopardy. I'm not smart enough to be on Jeopardy, but I love Jeopardy. I miss Alex Trebek, rest in peace.

Z: Rest in peace.

E: That man, god fucking bless.

Z: God bless. For me, and you'll know this, here lately, I've been really into discord, like, essentially role play survivor games. They're so much fun. I've applied to play my first one, but they're so much fun to watch. So I would say maybe that, or if it had to be a game show, I'm going to go with either Press Your Luck-

E: Okay.

Z: Or Shop Till You Drop.

E: I don't know what either of those are

Z: Really? Press your-

E: What is press your luck?

Z: Press your luck is the no whammies, no whammies, that one?

E: I don't know what that is.

Z: You don't know that one? I will show you a clip of.

E: I feel like I've heard someone say that.

Z: So well, here's the tea, my grandma would wake up in the mornings and she would watch us before we went to school. She would wake up in the morning, she would make my grandpa food. She would sit her butt in her recliner and turn on game show network, until her husband came home from work, and then she would make him dinner and then she would watch more game shows until she went to bed. That's all this woman did.

E: I love that.

Z: So, this brain-

E: It's in your brain forever.

Z:..is a rolodex of game show trivia, but that one's a fun one. Shop Till You Drop was essentially, I don't know which one came first, but Supermarket Sweep.

E: Okay.

Z: Have you ever seen that?

E: Like guys grocery game?

Z: Kind of, but they don't like cook, so they'll have like a list, like you'll get carrots on aisle five, and tuna on aisle six, and baby formula on aisle 12, and they just, they go for it. And the first to do it wins or whatever.

E: That sounds like a lot of fun. I do love to grocery shop. I think that would be a fun one too.

Z: So number 2, if you could eliminate one food, so that no one ever ate it again, what would you pick to destroy?

E: My gut instinct says tomatoes, because I hate tomatoes.

Z: *whispers* Same.

E: But I do, it's only, like. I like tomato based sauces and I like tomato soup, so I feel like I would regret that choice.

Z: Ketchup.

E: I don't know if you're for or against ketchup.

Z: I like ketchup but I hate tomatoes. I was adding to tomatoes' cause.

E: Yeah. That's a tough one.

Z: I'm gonna go with green beans.

E: I don't think I can agree with you on that one, I'm sorry.

Z: That's fine, you're entitled to your opinion, but I'm destroying green beans.

E: Okay, okay, um, god, that's really hard. I don't, I don't like tomatoes at all. I hate touching them, I hate dealing with them. I work in food service. I could also say mushrooms 'cause I really hate mushrooms.

Z: I love mushrooms.

E: That is something I find so interesting about you.

Z: That I like mushrooms?

E: Yeah, you know. You're kind of a-I don't know much about. I don't know, you're-in my eyes you're kind of a picky eater. Cause you don't like, like lettuce.

Z: I don't like lettuce.

E: What about like a good arugula? Do you like arugula?

Z: What's arugula?

E: Okay, we're gonna get you some arugula. It's a leafy green. You'll probably like, well no okay. I should-I take that back. You like Spinach.

Z: I do like Spinach.

E: Okay.

Z: Baby kale.

E: Do you like kale?

Z: I like baby kale.

E: Oh, okay.

Z: I don't like that-

E: I don't know that I've ever had the baby-

Z: It's just like spinach.

E: I mean it's-okay. Yeah that's fair.

Z: But.

E: Yeah, I'm gonna hard answer, I'm gonna say mushrooms 'cause I really fucking hate mushrooms.

Z: Valid.

E: Alright question 3.

Z: What is your favorite restaurant? In parenthesis, Zack, you cannot say McDonald's.

E&Z: *laugh*

E: Oh.

Z: Well.

E: Oh, Clarice. She's roasting ya.

Z: She really is. Shoot. I'm just going to go with fast food because-

E: Okay.

Z: Restaurants can mean any-

E: Fast food/fast casual, I think that's good.

Z: Sure. Dang, I really like. Well fast casual, I'm going to say Chili's.

E: Ooh yes.

Z: That street corn, honey chipotle tenders.

E: Those honey chipotle tenders, if I ever get married, that's what I want at my wedding.

Z: Catered?

E: Yeah, catered.

Z: Remember when I went to a-if you're hearing this Morgan, I'm sorry, remember when I went to a wedding that was catered by Cracker Barrel?

E: Yes!

Z: Morgan, I love you but, a choice was made. Okay, favorite restaurant?

E: The first thing that popped into my head was Olive Garden.

Z: *gasps*

E: I unironically, unashamedly, unabashedly. I love Olive Garden. I am-

Z: I'm white.

E: Very. Yeah, I am-I think like I don't wanna go all 23 & me, given that I haven't even taken one of those fucking tests. As far ass my family has told me I am like an 8th or a 16th Sicilian or something, so that Italian blood, it makes be crave Olive Garden like nobody's business.

Z: The breadsticks.

E: I see like the sign in the sky and it's like a werewolf to a full moon. And I go crazy.

Z: *laughs* I love Olive Garden.

E: The tiramisu? The chicken gnocchi soup with breadsticks?

Z: Gnocchi!

E: The Tour of Italy? Ah.

Z: The five dollar, to go entrees? You have lunch tomorrow.

E: That is a brilliant business plan.

Z: True.

E: You know what I want? What I desperately desperately want one. The unlimited pasta pass. I have wanted one of those since the day. Justin McElroy did an unboxxing and he got one.

Z: Olive Garden.

E: I really wanted one ever since.

Z: *whispers* Same.

E: Olive Garden sponsor us?

Z: Please god, I know this is our first episode but please.

E: I had an idea for another sponsor. Oh, Subway! Subway should sponsor us.

Z: Truly.

E: I can't believe that neither of us said Subway, actually. We-fun little BTS, behind the scenes, not the K-Pop group, sorry.

Z: Why did my brain go there first?

E: We know why.

Z: Not today. That's a song.

E: LITERALLY every time we've gotten together to brainstorm, put together anything for this show, with the exception of maybe once or twice, that I can't even recall, it's subway every single time, so.

Z: We gotta eat fresh.

E: Somebody, at Subway headquarters, say, “Hey, sponsor The Abandonment Issues-”

Z: Sponsor these people.

E: Plead our case, please.

Z: Please, please, we'll send you merch if we ever

get any.

E: I'll figure it out. I'll use my art degree. Alright. Question four!

Z: If you could take a trip anywhere in the world, where would you go?

E: Hm.

Z: Forks, Washington.

E: Oh my god.

Z: Final answer.

E: Oh my god. That's a good one, shit.

Z: (laughs) 'Cause genuinely, I don't know 'cause there's so many places to go.

E: Yeah, yeah it's very hard. I always did-okay, well on the topic of my Italian heritage.

Z: Oh Jesus.

E: I was supposed to go to Italy my junior year of college and, the trip got canceled because we didn't have enough people to go. And I was very excited for it, and I would still really enjoy it. I would love to go make that trip, because we were going to stay at a farm in Tuscany that's been there for like, I don't even know. Since like 700 A.D. Or some shit.

Z: That is crazy.

E: It's called Spannocchia if you want to look it up. There's this incredible little-they have this website with like a video that you can check it out. You get to eat like all the food that they give you and all the wine that they have is like made on site. We were going-they have like the original wood kiln-

Z: Wow.

E:...on site, and you could make things in their ceramics studio and you fire it in the kiln at the end of the trip. But they also do like chefs and like butchers internships there where you can go over there and learn how to do things the way they do them and I think that's fascinating.

Z: That's really cool.

E: One day I would love to go there.

Z: Oh yeah, 100%.

Z: Get the swear jar ready.

E: Oh god.

Z: What game or movie universe would you most like to live in? Kingdom Hearts.

E: *Did you bring a roll of quarters?

Z: I'm just gonna leave it at that. Kingdom hearts.

E: I know you said game or movie-

Z: Book?

E:...but can I fudge it a little bit and say podcast?

Z: Sure!

E: I would love to be a citizen of the town of Nightvale. I know you don't know anything about Welcome to Nightvale, but boy lemme tell ya. I would live there in a heartbeat. I love it. It's so weird. I know that that's maybe not some people want because it's kind of fucked up. Bad things happen to people there all the time.

Z: Right.

E: But it's that cosmic horror, but in a fun lighthearted way.

Z: Right.

E: That's the best way I can explain it. I just love it so much. Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Kramer.

Z: God bless.

E: God bless you. You two really do some amazing work. I'm literally looking at a signed photograph of Symphony Sanders and Cecil Baldwin right now. They watch over our podcast. But yeah, I would love that. I think that the aesthetic is immaculate. There's deserts, there's glowing lights in the sky above the Arby's.

Z: There's an Arby's in this Universe?

E: Yes bitch! They're just regular people like you and me. There's literally, I wanna say in episode one, there's this beautiful passage where Cecil is like “Lights, blinking in the sky above the Arby's. Not the glowing sign of the Arby's, but something higher.

Z: Did I write this? Did I ghost write this?

E: You could have. I have all the books behind me, I'm very much a fan.

Z: If you could be any mythical creature, what would you be?

E: Hypogriff.

Z: That was a fast but good answer. I would probably be a gnome.

E: (laughs) Oh fuck! Yeah.

Z: I spend my entire life-

E: Yeah.

Z:..being 6 foot tall, I just wanna live a little down there.

E: That's a good one.

Z: Yeah. What small, insignificant thing gives you joy?

E: Thrift store knick knacks.

Z: Sure.

E: That's pretty much the biggest one. I go into Amvets like once a week. And I'll get-I don't have my Keith Urban mug in here. But I get so many tiny dingy things and they always bring me such joy. That tiny little frog that I got at the antique store the last time you and I went, that thing? I'm still riding the high.

Z: For me, I would say it's like when you, complete a book series, and you get that final one and you put it up on the shelf, and you see it on the shelf together. That's my-and it doesn't have to be like, for me it's like books, video games, manga, whatever.

E: Yeah.

Z: Just seeing it complete on the shelf just does it for me.

E: I love that. That's a very good feeling.

E: Yeah.

Z: What is the dumbest purchase you have ever made?

E: Oh Zack, oh Zack, this is a hard question, cause I really-

Z: I don't know! Because I make a lot of dumb purchases.

E: I know exactly what mine is, I'm afraid to say.

Z: Can you say it? What is it?

E: You know what it pertains to.

Z: Do I? Why are you blinking? You don't have to say it if you don't want to.

E: No, I'm gonna say it.

Z: Thank god.

E: So, what was the year? I wanna say 2011/2013.

Z: Uh-oh. I know where we're going!

E: God, I made you promise not to mention this, to not drag me about any of this but i'm going to go ahead and out myself in episode one.

Z: Oh no.

E: I was a backer of the-

Z: Ahaaahaahaaaaa!!!!

E: Stop screaming and just let me get the words out. I was a higher tier backer of the Homestuck Hiveswap Kickstarter in 2013. And that haunts me to this day. To this day I will never-I will never recover from the amount of money that I spent on that when I was god-I was not a legal adult. I spoke to my mother, and I said, “Listen, I need to get this money out of my savings and I need it now.” And she was like, “Are you sure you wanna do that?” and I said, “Yes please.” and then she let me do it. And I respect that she gave me that freedom but I wish that she had just told me no.

Z: That's fair.

E: It was not worth it, and the worst part. It's been like a long time. I still have not played that game.

Z: That's just how the cookie crumbles.

E: Yeah.

Z: Dumbest purchase, my mind just scrambled. Because me and Em just shared a very panicked glance at one another before this story was told and it just jumbled everything I had lined up. I make very-

E: I'm like sweaty.

Z: (laughs)

E: That really stressed me out that I had to admit that. Feel my hand.

Z: Oh, you're clammy!

E: I am disgusting right now.

Z: You're a whole seafood buffet with them clammy hands.

E: I am.

Z: Oh my god. What was the question? Dumbest purchase. I don't know man. I make a lot of dumb purchases. I'm probably, most recently, I'm going to say my book drug dealer.

E: Oh yeah.

Z: Robert. I feel, like I feel obligated at this point to meet up with this man to buy antique books and some of them aren't really the best.

E: But still it's a cool hook-up.

Z: Yeah, I buy them anyway. So, the last time I saw this man, I bought this falling apart copy of Orwell or something.

E: That's pretty dope though.

Z: I mean it's cool, it's got a bunch of his novels and shit. It was pretty cool, but it not in the condition that he said it was in.

E: Aw, that sad.

Z: It's fine. Sorry Robert if you are listening. I'm just going to say that because literally my coworkers put me on a Facebook Marketplace timeout, and I wasn't allowed to buy from Facebook Marketplace.

E: I didn't know about that, oh my god.

Z: They were like, you have to take off two weeks. And I was like, “Fine, that's fine, we get paid in two weeks it's fine.” So, I'm just gonna say that. (laughs)

E: Oh wow.

Z: Question number 9 is what is the longest you have gone without sleep and why? I know mine.

E: Oh man.

Z: I know mine.

E: I mean, the why really for me is-it's one of two answers. College or the pandemic. And I'm leaning more towards the pandemic because I was basically only sleeping like once every other night. Over when I got furloughed from my job last spring. I remember a couple of times I was like, “I'm gonna start a craft project!” and was just cracked out on Monster Energy at 6:00 in the morning, ironing patches onto a denim jacket and shaking my ass to Glass Animals. But yeah, I wanna say the longest amount of time was like three days, but I know you got me beat, I think.

Z: You know mine.

E: Do I?

Z: You know mine. When I was in high school and I watched Men in Black.

E: Yeahhhh.

Z: So I didn't watch Men in Black when I was a child. Probably watched the first one when I was in high school and then I watched the second one, and then there's that whole subplot that there's a universe wrapped around a cat's collar or whatever.

E: It's in his little tag.

Z: It sent me down a rabbit hole. I did not sleep for four days because I was deep in infinite space theory because I just drove myself crazy. Because I was like, “If a cat collar can hold a universe, what if we're the universe inside the cat collar? Which I feel like was the entire point. But it drove me up the walls. I couldn't sleep, I just stayed up for four days straight in front of my computer just googling infinite space theory, and learning more and digging into it, and then I crashed, obviously after four days, and I woke up and was like, “Never again.”

E: Well.

Z: So.

E: I bought a book not long ago, it's called Time Warps. And I opened it and the first two pages this guy starts talking about time travel and the secrets of the universe and everything and reincarnation and physics are all connected and that really reminded me of that. So, maybe I'll read you a little passage of that after this and see if it-

Z: I can't wait.

E:..jogs anything in your brain.

Z: I'll see ya next week and I will still be awake.

E: (laughs) Oh my god.

Z: Last question, who is the most intelligent

person you know?

E: Brownie.

Z: Where is he?

E: He just walked right behind you.

Z: Oh.

E: He's not a person. He's very smart.

Z: That's a tough question.

E: Yeah, that is a really tough question.

Z: I'm gonna say it's our assistant Becky.

E: Yeah, yeah. Trisha, she really, she's probably. What even is her IQ it's gotta be in the 170s?

Z: It's probably at least a thousand.

E: The smartest person that I know of is Mr. Bean. I genuinely can't believe he has an IQ that high. Not anything against that man, I don't know him personally, but the fact that that is the kind of movie that he makes.

Z: Oh my god, and apparently there's only like 12 episodes of that show.

E: 13 I think.

Z: Yeah, so he really stretched it out.

E: Yeah.

Z: I don't know. Welp.

E: Well yeah.

Z: Thank you to Veronica for all those icebreaker questions. Really eye opening.

E: It was great. You really did the damn thing.

Z: Well. I guess that now everyone knows our deepest darkest secrets since we exposed them in episode one, I guess we can kind of get into our topics a little bit?

E: Yeah.

Z: So I feel as if you're gonna go hard.

E: Perhaps, perhaps.

Z: So if you don't mind I'm gonna go first.

E: Okay.

Z: I'm not gonna go as hard as I could. With mine, mostly just because I wanna leave it open for a return, if I want to cover it again maybe later on. My first topic is going to be about the Roundhouse that exists in Tellico Plains, TN.

E: Nice.

Z: Fairly local, kind of close to us for the most part. Here's the issue with this, is that it was a silo for a local mining company and dating back to even before the civil war, this thing was operational. So there's a lot of stuff that has gone on-

E:Okay.

Z:...in this big old building. Another problem is that there's not a plot of information online.

E: Yeah, that was a problem I ran into mine too actually.

Z: Unfortunately, the person who posted this, the beginning of this is going to be a lot from Reddit.

E: Oh, okay.

Z: The person who posted this is a local urban explorer. I've seen some of their stuff, all of their stuff is really cool, their photographs are amazing. They do posts on Facebook and stuff here and there. All of their stuff is really well researched and really good, but I don't want to set a trend of making Reddit a, you know.

E: For sure, it's not like a primary source. So do you want to-did you make note of who that person was though.

Z: Yeah, the post that was made thearcherofred on Reddit. That is their username. When we post all of our sources I will give a link to this specific person I am talking about.

E: Excellant.

Z: Yeah, that's the problem I ran into and I guess that's probably why I didn't get as into it. Mostly because I wanted to leave it open so I could share a little bit about my own experience when I went.

E: Cool, okay.

Z: I am going to give a little bit of a backstory about the area, the place, what all happened. Like I said this was a post made by thearcherofred on Reddit, all one word. About 30 years after the Civil War, Southern Slate Works purchased the land where the Roundhouse exists now. This land before used the be part of the Tellico Iron Works Company. The Iron Works Company basically mined iron and other ores during the Civil War. It was demolished during the war, and really from what I can tell, nothing really happened in this area where the Roundhouse exists now up until it was purchased on December 7th of 1893.

E: Okay.

Z: In June of 1920, J.B. Preston bought 300 acres of land from another citizen of Tellico named Cyril Herford with the intent to mine the area. It is unknown if this was part of the Southern Slate Company or a solo kind of gig. Preston had plans of making a fully working mine complete with machinery, houses for the mine workers, storage facilities, and other stuff you'd need to run a mine. He also was-he was also given permission to construct a railroad system to the mine and the quarry was set to open on January 1st 1921. He then leased this area out to Tennessee Rocks Products Company and it was operational from 1921-1928. In '22 Cyril then sued the rock company because some of the debris had gotten into the creek that ran through his property and it polluted the water. There was another lawsuit that same year against the rock company. This lawsuit came from a local farmer named Henry Fritts. He was suing for very similar reasons as Herford, because the dust coming from the mines and quarry had killed crops and vegetation. That lawsuit was settled for 600-I'm assuming there's no information about the 1st lawsuit, because there was no information on this post about it. From what I can tell, nothing really happened after that, company shut down until 1928-er shut down in 1928, that is until the mid to late 50s.

E: Okay, that's kind of a long time.

Z: Yeah, it's a minute. At this point, a man named Dr. William Alfred Rogers purchased the property in the 50s, and he was a local practicing doctor. A little bit about Mr. Rogers, he was born in Violet, NC. During the late 50s he was one of 6 doctors that lived in the Tellico Plains area during that time. He had a small stone house, that stood in downtown but eventually he built a large three story home on Unicoi Mountain.

E: Oh, okay.

Z: He thought that the high altitude would help his more chronic patients, so that's why he wanted his house to be so far up in the mountains. Rodgers and his wife ran the practice out of their home for about six years before the couple had the idea of turning the silo into a hotel/Air BnB. Not Air BnB. Sorry, that's the Gen Z in me speaking. Just a B&B. Just a normal B&B.

E: A 1950s Air BnB.

Z: Beautiful, ahead of their time, truly.

E: You get a telegraph after and they're like, “How was your stay? Please rate us.”

Z: God. So he essentially divided the space inside the silo into multiple floors and created small apartment like rooms on each story. Supposedly, right when it was set to open, a fire marshal came to inspect it and it was deemed unsafe as there needed to be two clear exits from each room, but there was only one considering that it's a large tall vertical-

E: It's just a tube.

Z: It's literally, quite literally a tube. I will. I will post some pictures and some links to some pictures so you can kind of see. But truly, it's an old silo, it's a big stone, round silo. Cylinder, and on the outside there's a staircase that leads into the first floor but there's essentially just a round staircase that-

E: It's like a fire escape.

Z: It just wraps around the outside of it and that's how you would go up there and get into your little hotel room or whatever. The fire marshal said it was no good so they couldn't really open it as a hotel.

E: So did it ever have guests like that? Or did he just kind of kill that immediately?

Z: It's hard to really pin down what really happened after that. Some sites claim that Mr. Rogers and his moved into the Roundhouse after this and they continued the practice there. Other sites claim that they went back to the house at Unicoi and ran the practice out of it. I also read somewhere, and I couldn't really pin it down again, now that I started doing the research on it again but there were some rumors about someone running a restaurant out of it.

E: I think I've heard that one actually.

Z: And it was just on the first floor, it wasn't on any of the other floors, I think there's 5 stories in that thing. I couldn't really find that again, so I don't really have any information on it. The doctor passed away 10 years after this ordeal in '67, and it has just kinda sat dormant since then, aside from the possible restaurant owner being in there, but there's not really a whole lot to go off of on that route. Unfortunately as of now, the inside of the roundhouse has been completely destroyed by vandals. The walls are covered in graffiti and there was a house that was right next to it, and again, I can't really pinpoint what that was really for. I would assume that it was probably just another house that was-

E: Yeah, I heard from somewhere that that was something to do with the hotel aspect of it.

Z: Sure, I mean. I wouldn't doubt it, but that house is all but rotted to the ground. I've been inside, and the floor is rotted to the ground. There's no foundation, there was also a large fire that happened inside the roundhouse. Can't really pinpoint a date or time. Because it sat, it was just out in the middle of nowhere.

E: Not necessarily keeping track or reporting that to-

Z: Right.

E:...anyone.

Z: It basically made everything from the bottom floor to the top floor inaccessible. I've been on the top floor. Probably wasn't that smart of a move.

E: Prolly not.

Z: I was like 17, and you're invincible at 17, nothing matters. We went up there and just kind of hung around, and I'll talk about that in a second. But that basically made all the other floors inbetween inaccessible. That's really, literally all I could find online about it. I definitely have tried to join the local library to get some book sources or something about it, but I'm currently fighting with our local library. It's so shrouded in mystery that no one really knows what's going on in there. We've got a couple reports about the lawsuits and the early 20s. Nothing until the 50s, and then this random guy wants to build a hotel there, and someone says no and it just sits there again.

E: Do you know-I know when we first started doing the research, we were talking about how it was for sale. Do you know if it still is or did it get bought?

Z: I looked at it yesterday before I was putting the finishing touches on everything. It is currently off the market, it was not sold, but it is off the market. It was going for upwards of like $500,000.

E: I would love to buy it.

Z: Same I would also-Subway?!

E: Subway sponsor us!!

Z: Please.

E: Subway just buy us The Roundhouse.

Z: We will put a Subway in the bottom floor.

E: (laughs) Like the food court in a mall.

Z: Truly. That's all the information that I have on it.

E: Well tell us your story.

Z: Well, when I was like 17/18, I worked at a local grocery store and one of my cashiers, the current at the time, the caretaker now is a new guy, but at the time she was friends with-the caretaker was a family friend. And she basically reached out to him and was like, “Hey we wanna explore after work one night. Do you think it would be cool if we went up there?” And he was like, “Yeah, sure no problem, let me know and I'll leave the gate unlocked for you guys.”

E: Cool.

Z: We went up there after work and it was probably like 10/11 o'clock and we were just gonna check it out and then leave, but I was just very curious and very fascinated so we went into the first floor and I will try to dig up photos because I took photos. The test of time has not been kind to them-

E: Absolutely not.

Z:...with phones and just everything, I think they're on my twitter somewhere so I have to really dig and find them, but like I said, the first floor there was a fire. You can look up and see the damage has been done to this place. It's covered in graffiti. We kind of poked around a little bit, there's not really much to see. There's old appliances, wood here and there, debris, vandalism, that sort of thing. We found the beginning of the staircase that leads up around the side of the Roundhouse and we climbed up to inspect it, about halfway up, it's broken-

E: Yeah that was-

Z: Very teetery.

E: Yeah.

Z: Once you get over that step it's solid again, bolted into the side of that wall or whatever, and you just keep on trucking. We went up to the top and we sat down on the floor up there, we pulled out a Ouija board.

E: Oh my god Zack.

Z: (laughs) Not my finest moment.

E: (laughs)

Z: It wasn't even a good Ouija board, it was obviously, very much produced by Hasbro, and it had the glow in the dark light in it, to where if you pushed down on the planchette it would glow.

E: Oh my god.

Z: Obviously, we got nothing because nothing happened in that building.

E: I can't believe it.

Z: Then we went back down the stairs and then we went into the house that's next to it. Like I said, there was very few places where I was comfortable standing. Floors rotted, walls punched in, knocked in, burned. We were able to go up-there's an attic.

E: Oh really?

Z: Yeah, there's an attic in there. I wasn't able to go-I didn't go up in it because I didn't really trust it. I stood at the top of the staircase and peered in a took a picture or two.

E: Cool, I never knew that.

Z: Then, we discovered a basement.

E: Oh god! Under that same house?

Z: Yeah. Here's the deal. You didn't know this did you? About the basement?

E:About the basement, no.

Z: So there's a basement, and the stairs have rotted off, so you kinda had to hop in that hole and-

E: Love it.

Z: We got down there, and it was trash.

E: Yeah.

Z: Broken glass, beer bottles, cans, old screen doors, anything that you could think of, old appliances everything, underneath that house. Then I saw a little filter of light off in the distance, so I was like, I'm gonna go in that direction. There was a tunnel.

E: I know you were going to say a tunnel and I was so afraid.

Z: A tunnel that lead directly underneath the roundhouse.

E: Bro!

Z: It's crazy.

E: That's really cool. Very scary.

Z: Very scary. I was like, “This is some-,” have you every seen House of Wax?

E: No but I think I know what you're talking about.

Z: Very House of Wax. Secret-

E: Like trap doors and stuff.

Z: Was not a fan. So then after that we kinda booked it outta there. 'Cause I was like, “Who's idea was it, to build a tunnel-,” I don't even want to know. I'm sure there was a reason.

E: I wonder if was with the intent of it being a hotel, if it was a service hallway or something like that?

Z: I mean, has to be. Has to be. Otherwise-

E: It's the only non-creepy answer.

Z: It's what's gonna let me sleep at night.

E: Oof.

Z: After that we kinda hightailed it out. I have since reached out to that cashier, and obviously neither of us work there anymore. I've since reached out, and asked if she knew who the current caretaker was and unfortunately that caretaker had passed away. There's currently a new one.

E: I wonder if that was the guy I met that gave us a dog biscuit.

Z: Might've been if he was nice.

E: He was just a nice old man.

Z: I never met him, but I'm assuming if he let a group of teenagers go wild out at the Roundhouse he probably didn't care and was a nice guy.

E: That's sad.

Z: Like I said a minute ago, it's not on the market, but when it does come on the market, I will be very eager to see if it sells this time. Hopefully, to me.

E: Maybe by then we'll get some sponsorship cash.

Z: Olive Garden please.

E: Can I trade an unlimited pasta pass for this house?

Z: Truly.

E: It's worth it's weight in gold.

Z: Truly, 'cause you think about it. We go to Olive Garden three times a day, lunch, dinner, second dinner. We don't eat breakfast anymore.

E: Oh my god, well I don't eat breakfast to begin with. Who has time for that nonsense?

Z: I do, but only because I'm at work.

E: Eating a banana. You're being very healthy.

Z: I'm eating a banana, having a monster.

E: Alright, well.

Z: Well, that's it for the Roundhouse. Like I said, thearcherofred on Reddit, thank you so much for that post. They're a couple more that they have made about the Roundhouse. I've only used the one, so feel free to look into it yourself. I'll be posting a couple links to some pictures, and hopefully I will be able to find the pictures that I took when I went. We'll post all those.

E: Thank you very much for that story. Today-

Z: Please, go off.

E:...I'm very excited about this story, because this is a story that has fascinated me literally since my childhood. I remember my teacher telling me about it when I was in, I wanna say 5th grade. Then, it turned out that there was a book about this guy, and I had the book because it was my dad's copy, and that's actually the copy that I used today for all my research. I am about to tell you the story of Mason Kershaw Evans-

Z: Yeeesss!

E:...the Hermit of Chilhowee Mountain.

Z: Yes.

E: Basically, my sources-I did have a couple, just for a little bit of fleshing out about the area and a couple facts about the specific region, but everything about Mason himself came from the book. As I discovered, the man doesn't even have a Wikipedia page.

Z: Right.

E: Which isn't really that surprising to me. 'Cause the area that he was from was a very tiny place, it was in the early 19th century. There wasn't a whole lot.

Z: Right.

E: So, let's get into it! Our story takes place in the area surrounding Chilhowee Mountain, which is more commonly known today as Star Mountain, but it was named that because of a plantation owner named Caleb Star, who back in the day, he basically owned the entire mountain. Chilhowee Mountain is located partly in the southwest corner of Monroe County, TN and in Polk County. It is in the Cherokee National Forest. The flat, plateau like mountain is about halfway between Tellico Plains and Etowah and it's elevation ranges from 750 to 2,290 ft. This mountain was a favorite hunting ground for deer. So that's actually how it got it's name, because Chilhowee means cold deer in Cherokee. During the 19th century, this area was the home to Mason Evans. As I said before, it's kind of hard to find anything about him on the internet, he doesn't have a Wikipedia page, so everything I know about him I pulled from this book, Torment in the Knobs by R. Frank. McKinney. To quote the book, “This book was written give it's readers the highlights of the main events from the early advent of the early white settlers in the area during the early 20s, during the Hiwassee purchase of 1817, the removal of the Indians in 1838, the great American Conflict, The Civil War of the 60s, the building and operation the fabulous White Springs Hotel atop Star Mountain, the coming of the railroads into McMinn County, and many other events of that century. So it's not just about Mason's life, it kind of encapsulates basically everything that was going on in this area at the time. Because there was a lot of stuff going on, there was a lot of conflict, it was the time of the Civil War. It was a lot. It is a very interesting read, it's one of the more detailed accounts of this area, however, it's not without it's flaws. It was published in 1976. R. Frank McKinney was an old white man living in a very rural area of the south. He had some prejudices. I'm not really going to talk about that a whole lot, but if you do decide to-if this story does interest you and you do decide to get a copy of this book and read it, just go into it knowing that. There is also a lot of dramatization and speculation. That is explained by, another quote from the book that said, “Torment in the Knobs is a historical novel but throughout the author was at many times forced to draw his own conclusions to what was said in the conversations or dialogues between the people. This he believed was actually said, but not verified. The pages of the book are mostly written in the newspaper reporting style, but not all in together for into the phraseology of fiction writers. In many places, it combines the two. There would have been no need to write this book, Torment in the Knobs had there been a printed history of the east side of McMinn County and the lower regions of Monroe during the 19th century. What little had been printed in the newspapers and periodicals was wildly scattered and never compiled into a comprehensive history of the area. This book is not intended to be a history of either McMinn or Monroe counties, although the events mentioned took place in one or the other. The book was inspired by this pamphlet and was written in 1890 by W. F. McCarron, who was the founder and editor of The Athenian newspaper. The pamphlet was called-this is a hell of a title. I thought The Abandoment Issues was kind of a long name. This pamphlet was titled The Wild Man of Chilhowee: the True Story of Mason Evans the Hermit, 40 Years in the Wilderness, the Most Wonderful Creature of Modern Times Lives in a Cave in this County, Subsists on Raw Meats and Stolen Food. That's the whole ass title of a pamphlet.

Z: A pam-that's the whole pamphlet!

E: Yeah, literally. The book also says the great many people thought was a legend was unfolded as fact as 90 years later when a house in east Etowah was being raised to the ground. An 1890 issue of The Athenian was found in a chimney and brought to me, the author R. Frank Mckinney, who was then the editor of The Etowah Enterprise. Mickinney also did extensive research and interviews with local folks who's parents and grandparents has either met Mason, or had seen them visit their homesteads. Okay, so, there's this hermit..

Z: (laughs) I was waiting for it! Oh my god.

E: So there's this hermit..R. Frank Mckinney is the king of the fucking run-on sentence. This man could ramble. I think he's dead now? Probably. He had a lot to say, and not a whole lot of punctuation to put in it.

Z: He had a lot to say and no comma, period, comma splice was gonna get in his way.

E: Lots of question marks though. That is evidenced by his introduction to the story of what happened to Mason Evans. He said, “What happens to a man when his sweetheart suddenly jilts him? Does he take it in stride, or does his brain snap and he resort to unearthly things? What really did happen that day in 1848 in that little school house in Monroe County, TN, that caused a brilliant teacher to suddenly walk out of the school room, head to the mountains, never to say another intelligent word? And live there on snakes, rabbits, or other raw meat and whatever he could forage from mountaineers' chicken houses or gardens, and for forty years? Let's find out.

Z: Let's. Find. Out.

E: Mason was born May 10, 1824 in a log cabin at the base of the Chilhowee Mountain. At the time, the Chilhowee Mountain region was occupied primarily by the Cherokee Trible of the Native Americans. The capital of their nation, Chota, was only a few miles from the Evans's home. Mason's parents were names Robert, I'm sorry if I pronounce this wrong, I believe it's Hebrew. Her name is Karen-Happuch. That is K A R E N – H A P P U C H. I think Karen-Happuch.

Z: Okay.

E: I'm not sure though. They immigrated to Greene county in 1820, but they moved to Monroe after the Hiwassee purchase of 1817. The Evans' family was of Quaker faith, and their family consisted of Robert and Karen-Happuch, and their four boys and five girls: Moses, Robert, Mason, Samuel, Abigail, Sophia, Demaris, Caroline, and Octavia. Don't you just love that name? I love an Octavia.

Z: It's so out of left field though.

E: It is. I wonder-is that like a biblical name?

Z: I don't think so.

E: I've never thought of it as such but maybe it is.

Z: I don't think so, but go off, Imma google.

E: Mason was said to be the most talented of those children. I don't know how I'd feel about that as a Sophia or an Octavia in that family. Mason-that's kinda not fair, you don't get to be the best. Anyway, art seemed to come naturally to him. His penmanship was the talk of the settlement. Men in the region would commonly come to him to solve medical problems. In his youth, Mason was good friends with many of the Cherokee children of his age. He was 14 when the Native American Removal began, and it impacted him for the rest of his life. I mentioned Caleb Starr before, he's the one that lived on this mountain and basically gave it its current name. I had never heard anyone call it Chilhowee, fun fact, until recently. One of his son's named James was very active in Cherokee politics and he actually worked to negotiate the treaty that would result in the Trail of Tears.

Z: Ah.

E: Because of his native ancestry, eventually forced him and his own family to leave home and move westward, and he was accused-rightfully fucking so-of selling out the Natives to the white man. Eventually he was killed because of this. James, come the fuck on, what did you expect?

Z: Truly. Hello? Okay.

E: I don't want to make light of that obviously, because it was this horrible thing. At one point I had the numbers written down here, but I must have moved them. Thousands and thousands of people lost their lives on the Trail of Tears and this man basically was just-

Z: Didn't help!

E: Yeah, I don't know what he was-what he thought was going to happen. His whole family had to leave and give up their land. Hundreds of other families had to, too. Caleb Starr, as I said was a slave plantation owner and he had many 100 slaves. This is another really grim part of the story, because the way it is written, it kind of makes it sounds very praisy? They basically kind of put him on a pedestal a little bit, and they talk about about how-they talk about how much the people Caleb Starr literally bought and sold adored him and how much pride they took in their work they took for him. It is said when he left on the Trail of Tears some grieved themselves to death and were buried alongside the waters of Conasauga Creek. And that may have been true, they were grief stricken but it really grossed me out that a book written in like the 20th century was like, “Yes, this man was great, he owned 100s of people.”

Z: Yeah.

E: Anyways, but that's just-I only included that to highlight the way that it is kind of a biased telling of the story, but again it was pretty much the only source I had. Within a year the treaty was signed and the removal began in 1838. What at one time had been 50,000 square miles of native territory were reduced to only a few hundred. Until he saw them driven from their homes to an unwanted territory in the west, Mason Evans pleaded the case of the white settlers. After 1838, he formed a different opinion but kept it to himself, is what the book says.

Z: Okay.

E: I would imagine that was a pretty traumatic experience. Having all these friends and then seeing them be forced to move away.

Z: Right, yeah.

E: Anyways, so Mason went on to become a captain of a militia commissioned as such by the governor in 1841. He was 17 years old. Then, in his adulthood, instead of-I think he was supposed to go on to be a general or something. Initially thought he would have a career with the military, but he was so smart we would really rather you be a teacher, so he accepted a job as a teacher at a local school. Now we get into 'The Heartbreak' is what I have titled this chapter.

Z: Yay.

E: Essentially, the cause that is attributed to Mason deciding to go off into the wilderness forever is that he had his heart broken by his sweetheart. No one knows her true identity. What is known about her, is that she was the daughter of a prominent doctor in the area. “She was the apple of his eye, an only child whom he love more than life.No one would say, nor was it in print who the prominent doctor was, or what was his daughter's name. Was it because people wanted to protect the girl? Or was it because the doctor was so influential in Monroe County, that no one would even think to breathe a scandal such as the Mason Kershaw Evans affair.” It's all written very dramatically.

Z: Right.

E: Like a tabloid, but she was a co-teacher with Mason at the same school. They spent a lot of time together in the schoolhouse, but they would also go out together and roam around in the forest. They would ride their horses together. Mason would paint pictures for her, and draw for her. They just had a great time together. When he proposed to her, and she accepted. Mason didn't really wanna tell anybody, but she insisted that she had to tell her daughter, and he was like, “Okay, well, you tell your father, and I'll tell my mother and that'll be the only people that we tell.” Earlier, before we got started this was one of those where you could tell I was getting tired of their bullshit and just tired in general. Despite her anonymity, the author of the book gave her a name, that I quite honestly to be fucking hilarious. Dawn O'Day, and I put here, “Like bitch what is she, a leprechaun?”

E&Z: (laughs)

E: The whole that there was, there's this very dramatic story of her birth because Mason's mom a midwife, and though her father was a doctor, he decided it was bad luck to deliver your own baby, so he called for Mason's mother because she was an experienced midwife, and she was actually pregnant with Mason at the time. He and Dawn are only a few months apart in age, so she was born at the brink of day, and so the author was like, her name is Dawn O'Day.

Z: Oh-

E: Yeah

Z:...my god. What's his name again? The author?

E: R. Frank McKinney.

Z: R. Frankly, I don't like it.

E: (laughs) As I said, Mason's mother was the midwife who delivered his eventual sweetheart. What?

Z: Another thing.

E: What?

Z: I wouldn't care about bad luck. Well, I guess this was a different time period. But-

E: Yeah.

Z:...just, it's free. Just have the baby, you ain't gotta worry about it.

E: That's free real estate.

Z: That's free real estate, truly, but I mean, as soon as I said it, I was like “They didn't really have hospital bills.” But!

E: Well here's the thing that bothers me too about this whole debacle in the-I had a lot more of this whole birth scene when I initially was doing my notes because it was just. It's so hard to tell what of this was actually true, and what of it was speculation because everything seems like it was speculation the way that it was written.

Z: Right.

E: Basically there's this whole scene Dawn's mother is obviously in distress, she's in labor, she's in pain, and he just fucking backhands her and tells her to quiet down, and then she dies. Yeah, she fucking dies. She dies in childbirth. Okay first of all, he smacked the hell out of her, she falls back quote, “whimpering onto the pillow,” he drugs her to keep her calmer, and when she does deliver the baby, she dies. And he's like “Oh my god, my wife died, and I slapped her.” Like no shit. First, you shouldn't be slapping your wife in the first place, what the hell? That really-I'm sorry I just got real loud.

Z: No you're fine, speechless.

E: Oh, it frustrated the hell out of me. I could really go on about this book. He slaps the mother of his child, until she literally falls back on the bed, she dies, and that is part of why he was so protective of his daughter. Ironically, in turn, when Mason was born the doctor was the one that they called on to deliver him. This family structure, this community, they're all very tight nit, it's a very small place, they all know each other. As they got older, Dawn was very drawn to Mason because of his skills in the arts. She quickly became friends with him. She was allowed to spend some of her free time hanging out with Mason, but her father said, “Mason Evans is a bright chap, but I just don't have any use for soldiers.” It was speculated that he felt this way because he maybe had something in his past that made him kind of resent the military. A lot of people in this story in particular were draft dodgers for the Revolutionary War, which is a really weird thing to think about.

Z: 100%

E: I don't know why, I never really thought about the Revoutionary War having been-having had a draft. I guess that makes sense?

Z: Yeah.

E: It's possible that that's why he felt that way. He in general was very possessive and protective of his daughter. So she never really brought up the topic of her having any sort of affection for Mason until he proposed to her, and she said, “Well, I have to tell my dad.” She went home, and when she told him that she had intended to marry Mason, they had this massive argument and he forbade her to marry him. As incentive for her to not marry him, he promised her the farm and $1,000.00 in gold if she would turn Mason down. Now, I didn't google how much $1000.00 would have been in 1820 whatever, actually no that was later. I think this is like 1840. This is also one, in your story you had said there aren't a lot of really exact dates. There are very few exact dates in this too. Basically, I have his birth date and his death date and anything pertaining to the Civil War that was recorded by the government, but nothing specific in between. So, he promised her the farm and $1000.00 in gold, and he said, “Compare that to tending babies, scrubbing floors, tilling the ground, never having money of your own, your own husband being gone from home, soldiering, leaving you with all the chores to do. If you're in your right mind, you'll never do it.” And I have here, which, this guy was a raging shithead, but he did make some valid points. I would take that money.

Z: (whispers) Same. And a farm?!

E: A farm?! Yes.

Z: Cottagecore!

E: Yes, exactly.

Z: I don't mean to scream.

E: It's fine. That's how you feel about cottagecore.

Z: I love it, I love it.

E: Dawn didn't go to school the following morning. Mason received a note from her father's gardener, informing him that she would not be in school that day, and her students were to be sent home and return the day following. Mason accepted that, but he was acting very strangely after that. He was very anxious, and his students were taking notice. “At times he would lose his train of thought, stop his teaching, stare into space, and after a moment of silence, would again gain his pupils attention by frequently running his fingers through his hair, laughing foolishly, and whispering to himself.” Students feared that he had been bewitched because they had seen him act similarly at religious camp meetings, writhing, wringing his hands and crying. There's another quote here, “This was the first time anything had happened to him since the time he fell sick at his brother's home in Mississippi several years back.” He had gotten really ill. I don't think they ever said exactly what he had, but he had a very high fever. This is kind of where they think things started to really effect him, because he was kind of-It was a a high enough fever to where it was starting to effect his brain function, and they think that that may have permanently damaged his brain. His brother had actually said he had congestion of the brain, but Mason said, “But I wasn't crazy.” This is another-basically, any quote that I'm gonna say is certainly written by R. Frank McKinney, not by the actual people that said them. It says, “But I wasn't crazy, it was the high fever that caused me to go out of my mind,” he rationalized with himself. Mason had studied enough medicine to know something about fever. If he hadn't became a teacher, he would certainly have became a doctor, as he had said many times before. He wrote all of this behavior off of his anxiety and he told himself that he would see Dawn after class. The gardener came back, and brought him another note, telling him not to leave until Dawn showed up. Which I think is kind of funny, because why send this poor man to the schoolhouse, when you could have just said “She ain't coming to school today, also Mason, hang out for a little bit after.”

Z: Yeah.

E: Put it in the same note!

Z: Yeah.

E: I digress. So Dawn comes up, and they have this fight, she breaks it off with him. She basically does that whole thing of, even though she didn't actually hate him, she played it up like she really hated him, just to make it a cleaner break, which I get, I guess.

Z: Been there.

E: Yeah, it happens. Doesn't make it hurt any less, but that's what happened. He was devastated, and he got on his horse and he rode away into the forest to be alone. After that, he eventually went home, but Mason didn't come inside to get his food like he always did. His mom looked outside and she saw him run into the barn, grab a coat of a hook, and run back into the woods, leaving his horse behind. She said to his brother Milton, “Mason's gone off without his supper, wonder where he's headed for?” Milton replied, “To Panther Cave, I guess.” That's where he's gone a lot lately to write poetry and compose songs for that female school teacher. He said that Panther Cave is the quietest place in the Knobbs for when you wanna meditate.” Now what we'll learn here is that Mason is a douche. Oh, not Mason, sorry, Milton. Milton very much hated this girl. He, the whole time is portrayed as just thinking she has the worst of intentions. He literally calls her a witch at one point. That's another thing about this, all the exaggeration I've talked about before, instead of portraying as what I believe it to be, and what I think most people that would read this in modern times to believe, is that Mason was sick, he had some underlying illness and his behaviors after this point were possibly inflamed by trauma. To me it all reads as very much this man had undiagnosed mental illness in the 1840s. However, they demonize the shit out of Ms. Dawn O'Day.

Z: Great.

E: Constantly talking about Mason is wandering around in the woods just thinking about how he misses her, thinking about how she destroyed his life. Milton is constantly quoted as saying she ruined everything for him, and destroyed his future. It's fucked. Literally, all she did was break up with him.

Z: Right.

E: That really is another beef I have with this book. Panther Cave. Panther Cave is this cave on the western side of Chilhowee Mountain that was as the name implies known for being a hiding place for panthers and it became Mason's primary hide out in the years following this event. His family went looking for him there after he ran away, but they didn't find him because he had already left, and he was on his way back to the house. That evening, they heard someone in the barn and they thought that someone had broken in. When his father went in to investigate, he found Mason sitting on the floor in his horse's stall hugging his legs. Which, they say, this is a great horse, but I would not wanna be down there.

Z: No.

E: A horse could kill you straight up with one kick.

Z: Oh yeah.

E: Not the point.

Z: Mason's crying, he's sitting on the floor hugging his horses legs. He keeps repeating to his family, “I had to see my horse, I had to see my horse, he's the only one that would understand me.” And same, Mason I get it. Listen I understand you. I was a horse kid, okay? My mom still has horses. They're good animals. You still coulda got kicked in the head. His family convinced him to stay and have a meal with them. His mother told him to sit down at the table but he wouldn't. “Instead he began pacing the floor with bodily agitations and jerks. He ran his hands through his hair, jerking his head back and forth, then letting his body fall on the floor, writhing as if in extreme pain. Robert and Milton tried to get him off the floor but he fought them off. Finally, Mason righted himself, began to sing in words never heard before, singing most melodiously, not from the mouth or nose, but but entirely from the breast. I don't-that still boggles my mind, I have no idea. He would run from one end of the kitchen to the other and back again, often barking and grunting with each stroke of his head. His family basically thought what was happening to him was “a spell,” similar to behavior that they had seen people exhibit at Methodist camp meetings. Such as like speaking in tongues, that kinda thing. Mason was obviously in distress and they didn't know what to do. One of his parents said, “Mason's just like the man in the Bible that was possessed by demons, full of unclean spirits, until Jesus sent them into a heard of swine. But what could have caused such a thing? That was another point in which Milton was like, “It's all that woman's fault.” called her a witch. Like I said, they didn't have any idea what was happening because they had no understanding of mental illness or any kind of brain injury, knowledge or anything like that.

Z: Right.

E: So they just tried to make him comfortable and placate him. They finally fed him, and it said, “Mason ate his meal ravenously, with his hands rather than any other utensils. He ate everything they put in front of him and downed two quarts of coffee.” Which sounds like a great day. I would love for that to be me.

Z: Same.

E: I wanna do that.

Z: Same.

E: They tried to convince him to explain what had happened, but he jumped up from the table, grabbed a knapsack from a hook on the wall, and ran back into the woods. His brother Milton was a medical student and he insisted that one day he would become a doctor and he would fix Mason's problems. We're gonna time skip a little bit.

Z: Sure.

E: In July of 1850, there was a 10 day stretch of near constant rain. It brought widespread flooding to the region. Many people were forced out of their homes, and dead animals, human waste, and debris were washing up in massive quantities on the farmland. I feel like I should specify, in this area where this is all taking place. It's a lot of flood planes between mountains, so when it rains, even now, it's really easily flooded. Ten straight days of rain is bad. It was very bad. Mason, at this point, had been living in the wilderness about two years. His father had sold off his horse because Mason wasn't around to care for him. He gave him the money from the sale, he was paid $100.00, and he told Mason that he needed to take it and use it, but Mason didn't want it. He put it in his backpack, and just let this $100 bill get shredded up in his backpack.

Z: Mason.

E: Yeah. He didn't have any use for money, he was out in the woods-

Z: Fair.

E:...and at this point he had become an expert at chicken snatching, taking food from gardens in the middle of the night, anything that he could find, he could eat. He was an expert forager, he knew all the berries and roots and stuff he could eat. He did eat all his meat raw, but he didn't really have anything to cook with in a cave.

Z: You gotta do whatcha gotta do.

E: Yeah, although it's not like he didn't know how to light a fire, it's just he apparently didn't cook his food. That didn't kill him, so I guess it's okay. Disclaimer, if you're listening to this, and you're considering the Mason Evans Diet, don't.

Z: Don't.

E: Don't. Cook your chicken thoroughly. At this point, he'd lived out there for two years. Dogs would bark and chase him up trees and hunters had to come and call them off to rescue him, because they would tree him like a bear. Overall, he was adapting to his new life. He was learning how to function out in the wilderness, but things were about to take a turn because the Evans family was victim to a lot of the flooding damage. They lived right on the banks of the creek and they had to clean up a lot after the storms. By this point, all of Mason's siblings had grown up and moved away and gotten married, so his parents were all alone to deal with this. This is topical, unfortunately, the flooding brought with it something much worse than just property damage, it brought illness. There was an epidemic of typhoid fever, and people just started dropping like flies. Entire families were dead in days. Milton had gone to Knoxville to go to medical school. He was called home, not because they were enlisting all the doctors in the region to care for people, but because both of his parents died like (snaps fingers) immediately.

Z: Jesus.

E: It was horrible. He said, “I wonder how many people thought to boil the water before drinking it.” 'Cause they wouldn't have known.

Z: Right.

E: That was a lot of what was killing people was they were drinking unclean drinking water. The Evans family all came together to make arrangements for their parents, and the question came up, “What do we do about Mason?” Milton, always the spokesman of the group, decided he was going to track his brother down, but when he did find him, he decided to just yell at him. He told him that he was disgusting and that he looked like a wild animal, that he didn't look like a person at all anymore. He told him, “If you'll come and get cleaned up you can go with me, but not before. You can't see Ma and Pa looking like that.” He was just now finding out that his parents had died, he's already traumatized by a number of other things. Mason of course, didn't want to hear it and he ran off into the woods again. He didn't do what Milton told him to do, however he did attend their funeral. He followed the procession of, there was like a wagon with matching white horses that carried their caskets. It's described in this very beautiful and flowery way that honestly, genuinely very sad, and his parents were buried at Hickory Grove Cemetery, while Mason watched from the woods. After that, this is where things are getting up into the Civil War, because we are coming up on the 1860s. At this time, the construction was finishing up on the White Cliff Springs Hotel. It is a very important location in Mason's life, in his history. The owner, Harvey McGill, and instructed Jonas and Betsy Jefferson, the couple that ran the hotel kitchen, to attend to all of Mason's needs. They would feed him, and often, Mr. McGill would come to the kitchen while Mason was there and he would talk to him and kind of give him the scoop on what was going on. I also feel like I should mention at this point, Mason basically went non-verbal. He didn't really speak very much, if at all. At lot of time in the book they describe him as kind of communicating in grunts and hand gestures, but it wasn't that he didn't understand things that people were saying to him. A lot of things in the book kind of-at the same time they're like, “yes, he was brilliant,” there was kind of this air of, “well he didn't talk anymore so he was stupid.” I just want to say, that's not how it works.

Z: Right.

E: You can be nonverbal and understand things, you know.

Z: Yeah.

E: Anyway, that's a whole other spiel for another time. So he would come in, and he would get the hot goss, and he would find out what was going on. He basically learned, at the White Cliffs Hotel, that the war was coming. He learned all about states seceding from the Union and that sort of thing. He was like, “Well, I am of the age of the draft,” he would be draft-able, so he was like, “I gotta hide.” He hunkered down Panther Cave for a little while, a long time, several months I guess? While he was still in hiding there was an accident. He decided that he was afraid of being caught by the authorities, he wasn't even gonna go to the hotel, he was just kinda gonna stockpile supplies, stay in his cave. One night while he was out foraging, he sees this light in the sky. He followed it, and the hotel was on fire. Burning to the ground. He shows up, and the fire marshal is there, and they're like, “Well, there's your fire bug,” and they basically threatened to arrest him. He is very upset, he ends up-they describe him as kind of having a fit. He started convulsing, he was very upset, he didn't know how to communicate that he hadn't been the one to do it because people were basically just accusing him already.

Z: Right.

E: Fortunately, at the same time that this was happening, this woman came forward, and was like, “My daughter knocked a candle over into a laundry basket, and that's what happened.” He was exonerated and he got up and ran away. The hotel burned to the ground. Mason went back to Panther Cave. This is another one of those points in the story where the author speculates that Mason spent much of his time lost in the memory of his ill-fated love affair.

Z: I don't think so.

E: I have here, “Like come on bro, it wasn't that serious.” After that he visited his sister Demaris and her husband Horner Coltharp, and to his surprise, he learned that his brother, Milton, had become a doctor, like he said he would. Instead of doing anything to help Mason, he filed paperwork with the court system in Monroe County to declare Mason a lunatic and subject to the confinement of a lunatic asylum. Milton also sold the land that was willed to Mason, without his consent, and basically was like, “Okay cops, go get him. Lock him up.” Very helpful. So-

Z: I don't like Milton.

E:...yeah, Milton is a shithead!

Z: Truly.

E: Demaris and Horner explained to Mason that Milton had moved away, but he had alerted local authorities to be on the lookout for him. Demaris requested that her husband build a shelter for him, where he could be supervised and he could be safe. Horner Coltharp did what he was asked. He constructed an 8x10 shanty for him, supplied him with food. They implored him not to wander off. He did, of course, try to leave to go back to the forest, and he was captured and chained to the floor. Which was great, because when people heard about this, people would come and just stare at him like he was a fucking zoo animal.

Z: Great.

E: Yeah, but there is a silver lining to this because this group of women heard what was happening to him. They were sympathetic so they came to see him and they brought him some supplies. They asked him if he could make use of a file, and he was like, “Yes, fuck yes, I can use a file. I can get out of here if I have a file.” So they baked him a loaf of bread with a file hidden in it.

Z: (gasps)

E: He was able to eat the bread, get the file out, and escape. How cool is that?

Z: I love that.

E: I know! These vigilante southern mamas are just like, “Nah this is not okay, you can't be doing this. This is a grown man, let him live his life. Let him out, here's a file, go be free!” I have so much respect for that. That's probably my favorite part of this whole story.

Z: I love that.

E: Yeah, so he escaped and he basically-he vowed never to return to his sister's property again because even though they had tried to help him, he didn't wanna get captured again. He continued to wander. He did go back occasionally and visit the White Cliff Hotel because they were constructing a second one, or rebuilding it. But he felt really uncomfortable being around there. He set up a number of outposts throughout the knobs with supplies and shelters where he could hide, should the authorities come to hunt him down again. A lot of people had complained about him raiding their gardens, and stealing their animals. The police never really caught him. Four years passed from the night of the fire and Mason showed up and he was very surprised to find that there was another hermit living there. Well, he wasn't living there, but he was a visitor, and they were treating him the way they were treating Mason, where they would feed him and give him whatever he wanted. His name is Gabriel North, and he'd had a very hard life. He had been fending for himself since childhood due to a strained relationship with his family. The book also implied that he had some mental illness as well and that that might have been effecting the way that his family treated him, so he was on his own. He did, however, have two dogs and Mason did not like dogs. When Harvey McGill was like, “I don't want you two at my hotel at the same time, I think you both should leave, go show him Panther Cave.” Mason was like “Cool, let's go,” Gabriel was like, “Okay well here's my dogs, and the dogs immediately attacked him. Immediately attacked Mason. They get into a fight, he hits the dog, because the dog is trying to attack him, and Gabriel was like “If you ever hit my dog again, you'll regret it Mason.” He kind of explained, “I have a checkered past with dogs, they do not like me,” and Gabriel basically was like, “Okay, cool that's fine. Just don't do it again,” and they became friends. But, another epidemic of illness hit the region. Yellow fever this time, and Gabriel was like, “I don't wanna be around for that. I'm afraid, I don't wanna get sick, I'm leaving.” So he left, and Mason was left alone again. That was in 1878. At this point, the book talks about what Mason had done for companionship previously. Allegedly, he had a couple of different animals for companionship. He had a rooster that he stole from a farm, like a prize rooster. This rooster and him were like BFFs. He kept it in a hollow oak tree that he called his rooster house. It road in his pocket until the action of squeezing in and out of his pocket caused it to loose all it's feathers. So he had a naked chicken that-

Z: (laughs)

E:..that was his best friend.

Z: (still laughing) I love that.

E: I know!

Z: Oh my god!

E: He also befriended a very large yellow tomcat, which followed him around for a long period of time. Now, here's the thing that's kind of icky. The rooster eventually died, and Mason ate it. Which, yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and say, I get it because he, you know. You gotta do what you gotta do to survive, and he was already catching and killing chickens before that.

Z: Sure.

E: The thing that bothers me about this, is that people were very into the speculation that he ate the cat too.

Z: I was afraid you were gonna say that.

E: I don't know that that happened. That's another thing that is in there just for shock value I think.

Z: I think so too. I feel like he was smart enough to know not to eat the cat.

E: I don't know, and honestly who the hell am I to judge him if he did.

Z: I've never had cat, who knows maybe it's good.

E: Living in a cave in the woods, you forage for all your food. Honor every part of them right.

Z: Yeah...

E: I know that's kind of fucked up to say about a cat but yeah. I just thought that that was-it was just randomly tossed in there between, “Here's a story of the Civil War,” “Mason Evans may have eaten his cat.” Like what??

Z: (laughs)

E: What are you talking about??

Z: Written. Like. A. Tabloid.

E: It must have been a slow news day.

Z: Truly.

E: Anyway, we're finally winding down. In the 1880s, a lot of things began to change. Lumber became a big industry in the Monroe County area, therefore, railroad started moving in. It was also at this time, that The Athenian, the newspaper that printed the pamphlet that I mentioned in the beginning, began it's operation. The publisher was a man named Wilbur F. McCarron. McCarron had promised the people of McMinn County “a newspaper of prestige, one whose literary content would be the best in the nation. There, the people who subscribed to the newspaper could be assured of many interesting features about McMinn, Meigs, and Monroe Counties.” The funny thing about this, is that people were not about this happening because they were like, “We wanna know about politics, we don't give a shit about whatever literature you're trying to bring us.” They also didn't like him because this was in the time period where Democrats and Republicans were flipped values wise-

Z: Right.

E:...and he was a Republican, and I thought it was really funny because they were like, “We don't like republicans around here.” And I was like “Boy you better fast forward 200 years.

Z: You better buckle up!

E: That's all we got. Within a month of the publication's beginning, McCarron came to visit the White Cliff Hotel and he told Mr. McGill that he wanted to know about Mason and eventually write a piece about him. Mr. McGill basically told him that the best person to talk to would be Horner Colthrop, his brother-in-law. When he returned to Athens, McCarron immediately published a series of articles in his paper about quote, “The Wild Man of the Chilhowee.” He recounted the stories of the people who had encountered him through direct interviews. The article stirred up a lot of controversy, and on January 9, 1886, ,the sheriff captured Mason and brought him to the Athens County Jail, and yet again, his capture drew in a lot of spectators. A lot of people came to watch them, arrest him basically and put him in prison. They took his photo on the steps of the courthouse, gave him a change of clothes and sentenced him to an insane asylum in Nashville. Very, for context, Monroe County is like the bottom eastern corner of Tennessee. Nashville is 4 hours away?

Z: Yeah, like three of four.

E: Three or four hours away, so that's very far from anything he's every known. In The Athenian, Mr. McCarron wrote, “Till a short time ago, Mason Evans kept with regularity the date of his birth, the day of the week, the month, and the year, and when urged to do so, would write a few sentences and solve problems with as much exactness as the days of yore. But age is creeping upon him. His eyesight is failing, and the little spark of passion and the reason that should have never left him is gradually being extinguished. It was only by the exercise of strategy and urgent persuasion he was induced without using force to come down from his mountain home and get into a wagon waiting to convey him into town, a distance of some 15-20 miles.” Mason did not want-whether they forced him or not, he did not want what they took him to do. He attempted to escape several times. So far as to get the start of his guards, several 100s of yards going at full speed toward the mountains. Mostly reports said that he was harmless, but a few people had said that in his older age he would get confused, he would lash out a little bit. What it actually said was, “attacks of raving lunacy.” Which, yikes. A few weeks later, McCarron wrote that Mason was taken the McMinn County Poorhouse. Once he arrived there, he very quickly made his escape. He walked a distance of around 20 miles back to his brother-in-law's house. Horner Colthrop provided him a shelter to stay in at night and he was free to roam during the day. Which is kind of what the situation was before, but this time there wasn't really much of an issue with it. He actually used the shelter he was given, the cops didn't try to come take him away, they all kind of came to an agreement. At this point, things were really, finally starting to calm down for him. During the winter of 1891-1892, Mason stayed in the cabin intermittently. He continued to visit the White Cliff kitchens and he was very grateful for the services that they gave him, because he was 68 years old, and his health was beginning to decline. Any food that they could give him, any warmth, he was grateful for. Unfortunately, on the morning of January 11, 1892, Mason's body was found frozen sitting under a tree. His brother-in-law claimed his remains, and Mason was buried in a simple wooden casket near his parents at Hickory Grove Cemetery. For 40 years, he had lived alone in the wilderness, kept himself alive. I think that that is fucking crazy.

Z: Truly.

E: Obviously, if you threw me out there now, given that I am of the-I'm on the millenial/gen z cusp. I've basically always had a cell phone in my hand. I would not last a day.

Z: I can't even poop in the woods.

E: Exactly! Thank you! I know it was a different time but wow. 40 years, completely alone.

Z: Yeah.

E: Didn't have a house, lived in a cave. Finally I have a quote here from Harvey McGill, the owner of the White Cliff Hotel who said, “Mason Evans is much better off dead than alive and Hickory Grove is a much better place than the shack he lived in. The final resting place of his soul is with God, I am sure.” That is-

Z: That's sweet.

E:...the story of Mason Evans.

Z: Oh my god. I am still shook about those women.

E: I know.

Z: The loaf of bread.

E: It's so cool. It's so cool.

Z: Oh my god.

E: That just goes to show you. That's the definition of southern hospitality.

Z: Truly.

E: Truly.

Z: Well, thank god I finally know all about Mason.

E: I'm sorry that was so long-

Z: Nah.

E:...for our first run, but I really just needed to

get that one off my chest. Fortunately, it had given me kind of a branching off of some other topics that I want to cover too. I definitely want to talk more about the White Cliff Hotel and I am actually planning on doing an episode on sinkholes.

Z:OOooo.

E: Caves and sinkholes are all kind of connected. So that's that. Thank you for listening.

Z: Of course.

E: What's your issue this week?

Z: My issue this week, and-okay there is a side of TikTok-

E: I'm afraid now.

Z:...currently, and again, brain worms. My issue this week is cleantok. Cleaning TikTok.

E: Ooo, that sounds nice.

Z: I'm gonna do a little bit of a trigger warning here-

E: Oh, okay.

Z:...for child abuse.

E: Okay...

Z: Because skip ahead like 2 minutes, if you don't want to hear about this, but-

E: I was not expecting this.

Z:...have you ever read the book A Child Called It?

E: No, but I know about it. I know like the general plot.

Z: There's a scene where household chemicals are mixed and it's supposed to be-

E: Oh.

Z: Okay.

E: Like the mustard gas?

Z: Yeah, pretty much.

E: I think I know where this is going.

Z: There's this side of TikTok now where people are like, “We're on cleantok, we're gonna clean.” and they'll dump half a container of AJAX, Clorox, Dawn, literally everything under the-

E: Ammonia.

Z: Ammonia, everything and that's just where my brain goes is mixing chemicals together and making deadly toxic gases and I'm just waiting, because there's livestreams of people that'll just go live and dump-

E: Yeah, I've seen a couple of those videos where people are just throwing in 4 different kinds of powder and dumping multiple liquids on top of it.

Z: Yeah!

E: How are you not dead? Someone's gonna get hurt.

Z: Truly, and that's where my brain went. I was like, someone is going to not realize it. 'Cause it's science, they're chemicals. You're mixing shit together, you don't know what you're mixing. Somethings going to happen, someone is going to get hurt, because these people on TikTok are like “Oh I'm going to make a rainbow in my toilet today.”

E: Can I say, I feel like a lot of that we don't have home-ec in schools anymore.

Z: Yeah.

E: Because I learned, my mom was the one that told me, don't mix ammonia and bleach cause you'll make mustard gas, but I don't know if that's actually true. I know that it makes something that is very dangerous, but that is kind of where you would learn about these household things. Schools are so underfunded that you don't have that anymore.

Z: Yep.

E: That's just sad.

Z: Well, that was my issue. Sorry to get a little dark there for a second but truly I saw just one video, and you know how TikTok is, they'll be one here or there, and it really made me mad.

E: Well, hey, PSA don't do that. Don't mix things.

Z: Please.

E: Do your research if you're going to use multiple chemicals because, because holy shit you could literally gas yourself to death.

Z: Here's the tea. One is enough.

E: Yeah, most of the time.

Z: Scrubbing bubbles? Fine.

E: Yeah.

Z: Dawn Dishwashing Liquid? Fine. Don't start mixing shit. You don't need to. That's what they're there for.

E: Yes, yes. Please be safe. Please don't get hurt.

Z: What's your issue now that I'm all worked up?

E: My issue, maybe this is dark, my issue is honestly that I had to take Brownie to the emergency vet.

Z: Yeah.

E: 'Cause that was a nightmare.

Z: Yeah.

E: I had to take my sweet little boy to the vet because I came home from work and he had poopied blood and I was terrified and I thought he was gonna die. It turns out that he just had a mild infection, and he's had his antibiotics. He's good to go now. We did his follow up, and the vet said he looked fine. His issue this week is probably the fact that they shaved that funky chunk out of the side of his neck, because they had to give him fluids, so he has this wonky ass-it looks like the state of South Carolina.

Z: Have you ever seen that episode of Bob's Burgers where he gets the stitch in his finger-

E: Yes!

Z:...and he's like, “Why did you shave my arm?”

E: That is exactly it, yeah. God that's such-I love Bob's Burgers.

Z: Same.

E: But yeah, that's my issue. He's fine. I'm still-I don't think I'm ever gonna recover from that. That was so stressful. He's okay and he's standing here staring at me because it's been two hours, and he probably needs to poop.

Z: He probably needs to poop.

(dog shaking his head noises)

E: Yeah.

Z: We'll take that as a yes.

E: Alright, well, thanks for listening.

Z: Of course, thanks for listening to me ramble, thanks for listening to Em ramble.

E: Thanks for really listening to me ramble.

E&Z: (laughs)

Z: Well we'll hopefully see you next time, hopefully we'll see you next time, I'm really excited for my topic next week.

Z: Hi guys.

E: Hey.

Z: How's it going? So when we initially recorded this episode, we didn't have all of our social media set up completely. There were a couple that had different usernames or whatever, just rookie mistakes that we had made, but we just wanted to rerecord the ending here. Kinda touch base with you, so you know exactly where to find us so there's no confusion, and we're all on the same page. So Twitter, TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube @issues-podcast. Our Tumblr is @theabandonmentissues. Or you can simply go to our LinkTree whick is linktr.ee/issues_podcast. And all of this will be linked in the description below. But that's got all of our relevant links including our cited sourced, social media, and our Patreon can be found there as well.

E: We also have an email for listener story submissions now. So if you have any places nearby you that you think are relevant to the topics that we cover, we would like to hear from you. You can send those to us at tellusyourissue@gmail.com, and we might read it out on the air.

Z: You never know what could happen.

E: You never know. You can also send whatever you want to that email. Anything you want us to know. Anything relevant.

Z: Send us memes. We'll print them out, and we'll hand them to Gertrude.

E: Exactly. Yeah.

Z: No problem.

E: That should pretty much cover everything, contact wise.

Z: We appreciate you guys understanding that we're fools.

E&Z: (laughs)

E: We're just some fresh faced youngsters.

Z: Listen, we're little rookies, we gotta figure it out as we go, and unfortunately this is one of them.

E: If you need anything from us, that's were you can find us.

Z: Please, send me memes.

E: (laughs) Please. It's what keeps him going.

Z: It's all I got left in this world.

E: Yeah.

[pandastern]

Gravity (Bakugou x OC)

Part 11: First Round - New Challenges

If youd like to be added to the taglist for upcoming parts please dm me :)

Masterlist  II  AO3

Bakugou x Vigilante!OC

Warnings: angst, explicit language, violence

Word count:   2976

Genre: enemies to lovers ; angst ; romance, slow burn

When a new student makes an entrance, Bakugou has a real bad feeling. There is something about this girl that just doesnt feel right. From the flaming hair to the calculating glint in her green eyes, everything about her just pisses him off.

Little does he know that his fate is intertwined with the person he despises so much, defining his future path in a way he would have never expected

The hardest part about preparing for the Sports Festival was the fact that none of the students had any idea about what they were up against. They could have all the time in the world to train, but with no proper idea of how to apply it, the preparation would ultimately be useless. On top of that, Aizawa had kept his word, only allowing Artemis to watch her classmates during combat training instead of taking part herself.

While it was annoying, it did allow her to observe the abilities of her classmates and plan how to handle them should she be up against them in combat. In fact, she was surprised by just how willingly they shared every aspect of their powers with her. Midoriya, in particular, was always talking to her about quirks and strategy.

“Well, since you're not able to take part in combat training, you're missing a lot of material that you can't just grasp just by watching,” he said to her one day. “So, to make things fair, you're more than welcome to look at my notes!”

Artemis was grateful, of course, and she had to admit that his infectious smile was enough to lift her spirits every time. But this whole friendship thing still felt so odd to her. And yet with every passing day, she found it less and less exhausting. Often, she caught herself wondering if this was how it was like to be a normal kid.

Her own training, however, was beyond frustrating. Her body was healing so much more slowly than she was used to thanks to the poison still circulating her veins. Her quirk control was off and her stamina so much lower than she needed to fight effectively. She pushed herself regardless, training every day by herself until her body decided that enough was enough.

“Man, I really wish we could’ve worn our hero costumes instead of our PE uniforms,” Mina complained while Class 1A changed in the waiting room of the big arena.

“But this way, everyone has a fair chance,” Ojiro piped up.

Artemis sat at one of the tables, braiding the long side of her hair to keep it out of her eyes. The festival had arrived so much more quickly than she would have liked. Pulling another energy drink out of her bag, she tried to ignore the fatigue that seemed to accompany her constantly since the USJ incident. 

She’d dragged herself through worse situations. All she had to do was get through the day. Shouldn't be too hard, right? After all, she sure as hell wasn't a weakling that needed to lay down at every minor inconvenience. Failure was not an option.

The sound of a door slamming jolted her out of her thoughts.

“Everyone, get ready! The competition is about to start,” Iida exclaimed in his usual student rep voice that he used to ‘organise’ class events.

But before anyone could actually leave for the arena, Todoroki got up and stepped into Midoriya's way.

“I think it’s safe to say that from an objective standpoint, I am stronger than you,” he said in his impossibly deep voice. “And since you have All Might in your corner, I’m going to make every effort to beat you.”

Artemis stood up without thinking. Something in the way Todoroki was hovering over her new friend made alarm bells go off in her head. There was genuine contempt in his declaration.

“Hey, now. No need to get all aggressive. We’re all in the same class.” Kirishima laughed awkwardly as he stepped between Todoroki and Midoriya.

“We’re not here to be friends,” Todoroki spat, shrugging off Kirishima's hand. “This is a competition to see who’s the best!”

Something in his tone of voice made Artemis hesitate. Was it because some time ago, she could have been the ones saying those words? It wasn't that she didn't agree with Todoroki, but the way he was talking to her friend didn't sit right with her. This sudden protectiveness over Midoriya surprised even herself.

“Todoroki… I don't know what you think you’re saying when you tell me you'll beat me. Of course you're better than me. I think you’re more capable than most people here,” said Midoriya. “But I’ll still be going at it with everything I have. I won't lose.”

The determination in Midoriya's voice was something Artemis hadn’t heard before. The usually kind, shy boy had a whole different look in his eyes. He really meant what he said. Artemis felt a smirk tug at the corners of her lips. Was she proud at how Midoriya was standing his ground? Perhaps he wasn’t the only one changing, after all. 

The stadium was packed to the brim. The USJ incident had made class 1A so famous that it seemed like the entire city and media had their attention only on them. The first round was declared as an obstacle course around the stadium.

That seemed easy enough, Artemis thought, though knowing UA, there would probably be several extra challenges along the way. She just needed to get through it as fast as she could while making sure to preserve her strength for later.

*

Bakugou ground his teeth until they hurt. His lungs were burning, his breath ragged. The stinging of his arms told him he’d pushed his quirk to a painful level, and yet still he’d lost. How the hell had he only made it  to third place in the first round, while Deku of all people had come first? His head pounded with rage as he glared at Midoriya. He'd been in the lead with Todoroki, and then Deku had just blasted himself into the sky, shooting past them at a speed neither he nor Todoroki had been able to catch up with.

Bakugou straightened his spine as Midnight explained that there would be a break to prepare for the next round. He wouldn't lose again.

Forcing himself to take a calming breath, he suddenly noticed that a certain redhead hadn’t placed anywhere near the top of the ranks.

His brows furrowed. He’d been surprised that she’d even taken part in the competition, considering what had happened just two weeks earlier. But she wouldn't have competed if she hadn't healed up properly… right? Yet her ranking said otherwise.

Bakugou turned slowly and looked around. Just where was Artemis, anyway? He scanned the crowd, an uneasy feeling settling in his stomach. He spotted her making her way towards the arena exit where the waiting rooms and restrooms could be found.

Even from a distance, he could tell that something was off. Artemis was hunched slightly as she walked, her face pale. Before he could stop himself, he was moving towards her. 

Bakugou had been walking through the empty halls of the stadium for a few minutes when he suddenly heard a terrible retching and coughing, followed by a curse in a language he didn't speak.

Why was it that this girl had no sense of self preservation? Following the noises, he turned on his heels, strode towards the women's restroom and kicked the door open.

Sure enough, there she was, looking like death. She was kneeling down over the toilet bowl and clinging to the seat with white knuckles. Anger bubbled up in Bakugou’s gut as he watched her retch again. Artemis's whole body was shaking. Even Bakugou could tell she was in pain. Fucking hell.

How many nights had he woken up sweat drenched because he could still feel her blood soaking into his clothes? The image of her head falling back, her body growing cold in his arms as he saved her life, haunted him the moment he closed his eyes.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he growled.

Artemis flinched at the sound of his voice. Bakugou watched her wipe her mouth with trembling hands and look up at him. A myriad of emotions flickered across her face. Shock. Frustration. Rage.

“What are you doing here?” she rasped, falling back against the wall.

“What am I doing here? Seriously?” he hissed.

“This is the women's bathroom, dipshit. You really shouldn't-”

“Who gives a fuck? Look at you! If you're sick, you shouldnt be anywhere near the festival. Are you trying to kill yourself?”

Bakugou felt his body tremble, the look of defiance in her eyes fuelling the rage within him. Why wouldn't she just listen? And why was he even so worried in the first place? He shouldn’t care. He didn’t!

“I’m fine. A little overexertion never killed anyone,” Artemis huffed as she finally pulled herself to her feet. “This has nothing to do with you. Leave me alone.”

Something inside Bakugou snapped. If she was going to wreck herself beyond help, she could do that in her own time. He wasn’t about to watch her kill herself. Not when he’d worked so hard to save her.

“Enough,” he growled, marching towards her. “I will not have you carried out of this stadium in a fucking stretcher again.”

Before Artemis could say anything, Bakugou grabbed her by the wrist and threw her over his shoulder. She shrieked and struggled in his grasp, but her body was so weak, it did little to deter him. He barely felt her efforts to push him away. 

“Bakugou, put me down this instant!” Artemis hissed, her fists drumming against his back.

“Quit it, squirt. I've had enough.”

Again, she tried to wriggle free, but Bakugou simply wrapped his arm tighter around her waist and picked up his pace.

“Where the fuck are you even taking me? Let me go!”

“The old lady’s office. You’re done for today.”

“Wait, what?”

Ignoring her complaints, Bakugou carried Artemis all the way to the second floor. When they got to Recovery Girl’s office, he didn't even bother knocking. He kicked the door open, strode into the room and dropped the girl onto the bed.

“What on earth is going on?” Recovery Girl asked, eyes flicking between Bakugou and the still-cursing Artemis.

“She's sick. I found her throwing up in the toilets. I need you to excuse her from the competition,” Bakugou said dryly, holding Artemis down on the bed.

“The fuck? I’m fine. Get your hands off me!”

Recovery Girl walked over and placed her hand on Artemis’s forehead. “Dark circles around the eyes, elevated heart rate, raised temperature. You've pushed yourself too hard again,” the old lady said with a scolding tone. “This is why I told Aizawa you shouldn't have participated in the festival at all. You're not properly healed yet.”

“For the hundredth time, I’m fine,” Artemis huffed, swatting away Recovery Girl’s hand. “I don’t need to be babied.”

“You are not fine. Tell me the truth, girl. Did you train after you were released from the hospital instead of taking it easy as I instructed you?” Recovery Girl’s eyes narrowed at the pouting girl.

Artemis didn’t look at her, which told everyone in the room exactly what they needed to know.

“Of course you did,” Bakugou growled with a shake of his head.

Before Artemis could utter another word, Recovery Girl got up and grabbed a handful of files. It was obvious that there would be no room to argue here.

“It was good of you to bring her, boy,” she said to Bakugou. “I’m going to go and fetch Aizawa. Can you stay with her and make sure she doesn't run off?”

Bakugou rolled his eyes. Of course he'd have to babysit again, though he’d rather stay if it minimised the chance of Artemis fucking off again.

Artemis sat on the bed, brimming with anger. Despite her exhaustion, she still had enough strength in her to glare holes into the back of Bakugou's head, though perhaps not enough to resist the urge to sucker punch him in the face.

Once the door closed behind Recovery Girl, silence fell over the room. Thoughts rushed through Artemis’s head so fast she could barely grasp them. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been this angry.

The fact that Bakugou just stood there, arms crossed, made everything worse. God, she wanted to strangle him. 

“You had no right to do that,” she finally spat through gritted teeth. “I don’t need your fucking help. I don’t need anyone’s help.”

“Right,” Bakugou scoffed, turning to meet her gaze. “Because lying on the ground hunched over a toilet bowl is just a normal day for you, right?”

“That’s none of your fucking business. I would have been fine! It was just-”

“No, Artemis,” Bakugou snapped. “It's not ‘just’ anything. Holy shit. You can't destroy yourself in full view of the public and expect people not to take notice. You’re in a school for heroes, woman!”

“Oh, please,” Artemis hissed. “As if you care. We both know you hate my guts. So, what’s this really about, huh? Payback for kicking your arse? Are you so scared that I could beat you again that your only option is to take me out of the competition?”

For a moment, Bakugou just stared at her as he processed the words that had just come out of her mouth. Artemis noticed the vein on his forehead pulsating dangerously, the scent of nitroglycerin filling the air.

“You…” Bakugou's voice trembled as he spoke. “You really… think that's what this is about?”

“What else would it be? I'm sick and tired of everyone trying to baby me. None of you actually care. Just leave me alone!”

Artemis rose to her feet to meet him, her eyes blazing with fury. 

“I don't understand what you want from me. Why can't you just let me be? Whatever happens to me is none of your concern.”

“None of my… You fucking dumbass! You almost died. You think that doesn’t affect people?” Bakugou roared. “Goddamnit. You know, I really thought you were smarter than this. You walk around pretending to be better than everyone else, but you can't get it through your skull that none of that matters when you're dead. If you can’t give your best, then why are you even here?” His hands balled into fists. “I dont know what the fuck is going on in that head of yours, but your reckless behaviour is driving me crazy! You think I didn’t notice how you dragged yourself through school the past two weeks? I knew this was going to happen the moment you heard about the Sports Festival.”

Artemis’s rage simmered down to confusion with every word he spat at her. Why was he so concerned? Despite the anger of his words, the look in his eyes was far from hatred. She watched him pace back and forth as he voiced his frustration.

“For fuck’s sake!” Bakugou stopped suddenly and ran his fingers through his hair. “You're so infuriating. I dont know what the fuck you went through to make you care so little about your own life, but I will not stand here and watch until someone has to bury your arse. If you’re incapable of keeping yourself alive, so help me God, I'll kick your arse until you learn.”

And that's when it clicked in her head. Bakugou didn't hate her. Artemis stared at him. Her mouth opened to speak, but she didn't find the right words to say. He cared. Katsuki Bakugou actually cared.

Artemis’s heart started to race. The realisation hit her like a sledgehammer to the head. No-one had ever cared whether she lived or died. No-one had ever been willing to fight for her or make an effort to keep her alive.

“You… care?” She asked in a hoarse whisper. “Whether I live or die… You care about that?”

Her heart was pounding so fast she was sure Bakugou could hear it. At her question, he turned to stare at her in disbelief.

“Did you not listen to what I just said?” Bakugou strode towards her and grabbed her by her shoulders. He shook her more gently than she’d been anticipating. “Of course I fucking care!”

Artemis didn't know what to say to that. No-one in her life had ever said something like that to her. And she knew Bakugou wasn't lying. She could read it in his heartbeat.

Bakugou had trusted her with his life in the USJ. He’d carried her to  safety when her own body had given out. And here he was, trying to keep her safe again.

Artemis should have been angry. She should have pushed him away and told him to mind his own business. But the happiness that bubbled up in her was intoxicating.

Before she could stop herself, Artemis leaned forward, grabbed Bakugou by his jacket and pressed her lips to his.

Bakugou froze under her touch. Artemis didn't quite know what she was doing herself, but before she could pull back, his arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer, his eyes falling shut.

The scent of burned sugar filled her senses, clouding her mind in a way she’d never experienced before. Artemis released the fabric of his jacket to snake her arms around his neck.

Before she could do anything more, the sound of approaching footsteps made both of them freeze. They broke apart breathlessly.

Artemis looked up at Bakugou and recognised the same stunned confusion that she felt. Her cheeks started to burn, the heat spreading from her cheeks to her ears as she realised what she… they… had just done.

“Fuck,” she whispered.

Aizawa's muffled voice sounded dangerously close through the door. Bakugou's eyes widened. She opened her mouth to speak, but found herself being tossed back onto the bed. The next second, Bakugou was standing as far away from her as he possibly could.

Artemis didn't mind that at all. Her heart was beating so fast in her chest she was almost afraid it would jump out. What the hell had just happened?

[nataliecarsonsuniverse]

Say You Will Remember (Part 6)

Check my master list for previous chapters :)

Summary: 2016: Spencer has just gotten married to (Y/n), the girl of his dreams. The two navigate their new life together as they work through his demanding job and a stalker that just won't leave them alone. 

2018: Wendy and Peter have been hiding out in Maine for nearly a year now from Wendy's abusive ex. The two are just starting to settle into the new lives that they hope to spend with each other.

2020: After two years of searching for his missing wife, (Y/n) and Spencer are brought back together again. However, things take a turn for the worse as Spencer realizes that she is no longer the same girl he married.

September 2017

Delaware

Her eyes were covered when she heard the door open. Shuddering in the chair that she was bound to (Y/n) cried out her body already tensing not sure what was going to come next but knowing that it was going to be bad.

“Please.” She whispered. “No more.” She felt the gloved hand come in contact with her skin wiping away the tears before he removed her mask from her eyes. She wasn’t sure exactly how long it’s been since she was taken from their home. It was hard to keep track when she was tied to a chair in the middle of a warehouse with no windows. There was no way to tell time, it could be 12 pm it could be 2 am, she has no idea. If she had to guess how long she’s been here she would say between 72 hours and 4 weeks. She really did have no idea.

(Y/n) watched as the man who was holding her captive grabbed a needle from a tray. She shook her head no but it was no use, he injected the drug into her blood. She rolled her head back in the chair giving up what little fight she had left in her. The man then wheeled over the tv plugging in his laptop.

“Why are you doing this?” She asked her voice hoarse from screaming.

The man didn’t say anything, only attaching wires to her head. She started shaking and crying harder. “He gave me to you.” The man said finally. “He’s the reason you are here, he is the reason you're suffering. He chose to save himself and give you to me.”

“But what do you want from me?” (Y/n) screamed at him causing him to slap her hard across the face.

After attaching all the wires, the man went over and played a video on his computer, she watched one of the many press briefings that Spencer has given during his time at the job. (Y/n) started shaking before the electric currents even started just seeing his face. When the electric currents started, (Y/n) closed her eyes causing the man to come over and make sure she was watching.

“He did this to you.” The man repeated. “He’s the one who is hurting you. He hurt you for so long. Don’t you remember?” (Y/n) nodded weakly. “Good girl.” He said turning down the current to be less painful. She continued to watch as Spencer spoke trying her best to ignore the pain. They went on like that for God only knows how long. Him turning up the current, forcing her to watch Spencer before turning it back down when she said that he was hurting her, that this was his fault.

Eventually, the man stopped leaning down in front of her. “You did so well today,” he said, reaching up to stroke her cheek. He slowly took all the wires off of her before leaving and coming back with food. “He’s not even looking for you.” The man said. “That’s how little he cared about you. How disposable you are.”

(Y/n) nodded once, her heart was fighting but her brain was starting to believe what this man was telling her. When she thought about Spencer she thought about the pain, the smell of this dungy warehouse, and the sound of electricity from the car battery crackling. “You know he actually told me how to hurt you the most.” The man said and (Y/n) shocked her head not wanting to believe what he was saying but also knowing that there had to be some truth to it. “Told me that you don’t even change lightbulbs at home because you are so afraid of getting shocked. He told me that the best way to hurt you would be to shock you.” (Y/n) cried, dropping her head down, the drugs were making her feel lightheaded and all she wanted to do was lay down on this dirty floor and sleep. “You can’t even shock yourself by changing a lightbulb, it's almost impossible. And I bet he explained that to you like twenty different times.”

She nodded and all of a sudden she was back at home. For a second she felt safe again but then he was storming out of the bathroom yelling at her. The bulb had died at some point and she had not bothered changing it knowing that he would be home tonight. She had been using the restroom in the dark for three days as she refused to change it.

“(Y/n)!” Spencer yelled. “Why is the bathroom light out?”

“I was too afraid to change it.” She responded.

“How many times do I have to fucking tell you that you can not shock yourself changing it?” He yelled at her storming over to where she was on the couch grabbing her arm to roughly yanking her up.

“Spencer!” She shrieked.

“Don’t Spencer me,” he responded, dragging her to the kitchen where he grabbed a new bulb, shoving it roughly into her hands. “Change it!” He ordered it when they made it to the bathroom. (Y/n) shocked her head, which only made him madder. He grabbed her hand forcing her to change it, her crying the entire time.

“I have not been gone for seven days only to come home and find a dead bathroom light bulb because my mouse of a wife can't change it.”

“I’m sorry.” (Y/n) said hearing someone call her name in the background. “I’m sorry.” She repeated over and over again tears streaming down her face.

“Come back to me (Y/n).” she heard the man say snapping her out of her memory, she was back in the warehouse and while she didn’t feel safe here by any means she was also relieved to be pulled back to reality from the horrid memory. “I think that you’ve had enough for today.” He said.

“Thank you.” She whispered the man nodded once before checking to make sure she was still tied up tightly.

“Get some rest,” he said softly and (Y/n) only nodded feeling her eyelids already starting to close. When they closed she prayed that she would make it out of this somehow, in some way that did not involve her going home to the other monster. She prayed that she would have a dreamless sleep and not be haunted by Spencer.

When she awoke again, it was to the warehouse door slamming shut. Immediately she started crying, not ready to again be subjected to the electric current. She looked over to whom she expected to be the man dressed in all black with a motorcycle helmet on but instead she was shocked when she saw Peter running to her.

“Hey” He whispered as he quickly untied the ropes that bound her. “Hey it’s okay.” As (Y/n) sobbed. Once he got her hands untied she quickly threw them around his neck looking for any kind of human contact. “You’re okay,” he said again as he untied her legs. She tried to stand up but immediately fell over, had it not been for Peter she would’ve hit the ground but he quickly scooped her up.

(Y/n) kept her hands around his neck burying her face into his chest sobbing her heart out. “Please don’t make me go back.” She said and he ran a hand through her hair whispering sweet nothings into her ear.

Outside he shielded her eyes from the sun as he gently laid her down in the backseat. She was grateful to not have to be sitting upright anymore, her hands and feet were still tingling from being bound for so long. Peter closed the door gently before going around and getting in the driver's seat. “Please.” (Y/n) whispered. “I can’t go back to him.”

“I would never take you back to him,” Peter responded.

“Where are we going to go?” she asked. “He’ll find me.” she cried staring up out the sunroof of the car. It appeared to be around 3 pm. She wondered how long she’s been gone, how long she had been stuck there.

“We’re going to go up to Maine. I have a cabin up there, off the grid, he won’t find us. I promise.” (Y/n) nodded. “But you have to change your hair and name, you can’t be (Y/n) Reid anymore. They are looking everywhere for (Y/n).” He said as he put the car in drive and drove away from the hell on Earth that (Y/n) had been living through. “Just a little outside of this place I’m going to find a gas station with the bathroom on the outside and we’re going to have to dye your black. And your new name will be Wendy Arnett. Do you think you can do all that?”

“Anything.” (Y/n) responded. “Anything to not have to go back to him.”

------

September 2017

Punta Cana, Dominican Republic

“This is kind of amazing.” (Y/n) said following Spencer in line at the buffet. “I mean this food looks so good I could die,” she said before telling the cook how she wanted her pasta bowl to be made. “They are so many options. I’m definitely going to have to come back for seconds.” (Y/n) paused to look down at what Spencer had on his plate wrinkling her nose in disgust. “I will not be having that.” She said as the two of them made their way through the maze of tables to find a table close to the edge where they could see, hear, and smell the ocean. “I mean what the fuck is that?” (Y/n) asked once they were out of earshot of any locals that she could offend.

“It's chivo guisado.”

“Stewed goat?” (Y/n) asked and Spencer looked at her questioning. “What? I know a little bit of Spanish.” Spencer quirked an eyebrow. “I might have taken 10 years of it in school, and yeah I went on the class field trip to Spain.”

“How did I not know this about you?”

“I don’t know.” (Y/n) responded. “It’s never really seemed to come up. I bet I know more of it than you do.” (Y/n) said playfully teasing him.

“Dudo mucho que lo hagas. Hablo con fluidez seis idiomas diferentes. Practicamente inventé ser bilingue” Spencer spit out a mile of minute and (Y/n) was pleased with herself as she caught every word.

“Du bist nicht der einzige, der mehrere Sprachen beherrscht, Baby.” (Y/n) responded in German, another language she had picked up in school.

“Toccare,” Spencer said.

“Italian.” (Y/n) commented. “Rossi would be very proud of you except for the fact that you are eating stewed goat.”

“I don’t know, he’s a chef. I wouldn't be surprised if he had a goat.”

“Have you ever had a goat?” she asked. “Like do you know what to expect?”

“Yeah,” Spencer responded. “I mean you can’t really get it back in D.C. but if you go to a nicer steakhouse and order lamb, it’s kind of like that.”

“I don’t know.” (Y/n) said as she took a bite of her buttered noodles very American, “the idea of eating goat just kind of grosses me out.” she watched as he took a bite and while he had just told her he had it before, she was still surprised to not see him grimace at the flavor.

“You should try it.”

“No.” (Y/n) responded as Spencer picked up a piece with his fork.

“Come on,” Spencer said, holding his fork out to her. “Most of the flavor is from the onions and the oranges, there’s a slight taste of garlic but it’s good. It’s not like deer where the meat itself tastes gamey.”

(Y/n) grimaced at him while he tried to stifle a laugh as she took the fork from him. They were not about to be one of those couples feeding each other. “I hate you,” she said as she opened her mouth taking the smallest bite possible.

“Oh come on.” Spencer said. “That’s such a small bite on the fork, you can eat it all.”

She took a deep breath before biting off everything on the fork, she watched as Spencer watched her curiously waiting for her answer. “Well,” she said slowly. “It’s not something I would order myself, but it’s not nearly as bad I was expecting either.”

“See?” Spencer asked. “You should try new things more often.” (Y/n) only shook her head both of them knowing full well that she would not be doing that. The two of them then slid into a comfortable conversation about anything and everything while they finished lunch. After finishing eating they cleaned up their table before heading back to the room to change into swimsuits and grab towels.

Back in the room, (Y/n) made a quick change in the bathroom readying herself to spend the rest of the afternoon sitting in a beach chair on the beach. When she came out of the bathroom dressed in a small white bikini she couldn't help the exhilarating feeling that came with watching Spencer’s mouth fall open.

“What do you say we hang out here just a little bit longer before going down to the beach?” Spencer asked her as he walked over towards her pulling her into him, his hands finding  their way to her waist. (Y/n) lightly slapped his chest shaking her head.

“We have all night to do that.” She said. “Plus it’s going to start raining in about two hours. Maybe during the twenty-minute rainstorm we can do that.”

“(Y/n)!” Spencer whined, pressing a kiss to her jaw and then down her neck. “How am I supposed to sit on the beach for two hours with you like this?”

“I don’t know.” She responded pulling away from his grasp grabbing her towel off the bed heading for the door. “Maybe you can just imagine all the things you want to do to me in the next three days, and then later tonight you can show me what you thought about.”

Spencer groaned sleeping on his flip flops, which he had to buy at Walmart right before they left, “remember at lunch when you said you hate me? Well, I hate you too.”

“You’ll get over,” she responded as they exited the room. He made sure the doors were locked before the two of them headed down to the beach hand in hand.

---

October 2019

Bar Harbor, Maine

Peter was two hours late, it was becoming a frequent thing to happen and it was really starting to piss Wendy off. Was it too much to ask for him to show up to dinner on time? Half the time he would stumble home drunk as a skunk and then fall asleep on the couch even though Wendy begged him to come to bed with her.

When Peter finally did come home tonight, she was surprised to find him completely sober. “How was your day?” He asked, walking into the kitchen and trying to kiss her but she pulled away. “What?”

“Why are you so late?”

“Oh my gosh,” Peter said, throwing his hands in the hair before going to the fridge to grab a beet. “This again?”

“Yes this again,” Wendy shouted at him. “You are never home anymore and I’m really lonely.”

Peter used a bottle opener to open his beer before taking a long swig. “I was meeting up with some friends.”

“Who?” Wendy questioned. “What friends?”

“It doesn't matter who Wendy. They are just friends.”

“Are you having an affair?” Wendy shouted at him, she had been wondering for a while now if there was someone else, recently he’s just become so distant with her and the affair would make sense. He used to be absolutely enamored with her but now it’s almost like she doesn't even exist.

“You’re being fucking crazy,” Peter said.

“Crazy,” Wendy said laughing bitterly. “You think I’m being crazy? You have no idea how fucking crazy I can get.” Wendy said, spitting the words out as she got up in his face.

“You better watch your tone with me,” Peter warned which only made Wendy madder.

“No,” Wendy said. “You better watch your tone with me.” She finished. “You drug me away from my life, my friends, my family, everything. I will not stand you cheating on me and throwing me away now.

“I drug you away ?” Peter questioned growing angrier and angrier. “I saved you from an abusive piece of shit.”

“I could’ve saved myself,” Wendy responded, causing Peter to raise as if to hit her before stopping himself mid-air, she flinched instantly covering her head with her hands. Peter immediately backed away with his hands raised in the air to surrender.

“I’m so sorry,” he said, his voice so much calmer than it had been before. “I’m so sorry baby,” He said as she looked up at him with tears in her eyes. That caused him to rush over to her bringing her into his embrace and holding her tightly. “I’m not sleeping with anyone else. I swear on my life. Please don’t ever leave me, Wendy. I can’t lose you again.”

Wendy sobbed into his chest while he picked her up and carried her to the bedroom, it was late enough that she had already been wearing her pajamas. She had just been up waiting on the couch for him to come. He gently laid her down on the bed and she curled up next to him, her sobs slowly evening out.

After about thirty minutes of laying there thinking everything over, Wendy realized that she was going to have to ask him the question she had been dreading asking for a long time. But the answer was crucial as to whether or not the two of them could continue in this relationship. She needed to know that Peter was a good man.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“How did you find me at that warehouse when even the FBI couldn’t?”

“I had been watching you for a while,” Peter responded.

“Watching me,” Wendy said slowly. “Like stalking me?” She asked her heart to go to the top of her throat.

“Stalking is the wrong word,” Peter responded. “I was making sure you were safe.”

“You were the stalker?” Wendy asked, turning over to sit up in bed to face him. “You were the one sending Spencer those letters and pictures?” Peter nodded once and Wendy shocked her head. “But then what about Scott Tidwell?”

“What about him?”

“Why did he have a key to my house and why did he have pictures of me all over his drive?”

“He had a key because I gave him a key, the pictures were the pictures that I uploaded.”

“Why?” Wendy asked, her voice shaking.

“They took you that safe house because they thought that I was the monster. He took you to the safe house where I couldn’t find you. I knew I had to make him feel that he was safe, like that the one person who knew that he was hurting you was dead. I mean I can only imagine what he did to you in that house when you had nowhere to go.”

“You killed an innocent man.” (Y/n) said scooting off the bed trying to put some distance between her and Peter.

“I didn’t pull the trigger,” Peter responded. “I believe the brunette did.”

“How could you?” (Y/n) asked the illusion that the two of them had been living in rapidly fading from her mind.

“I needed to know that you were safe, don’t you get that? I needed to save you.”

“But the warehouse.” (Y/n) whispered. “I knew Scott wasn’t the stalker because it was the stalker who held me in the warehouse,” she said faintly her heart beating a thousand miles an hour. “But you’re telling me now that you were the stalker. Was it you in a warehouse Peter? Is that how you found me? It had been you all along?”

“What?” Peter asked with shock in his eyes that she could even think that. “I would never hurt you like that. I could never ever hurt you.”

“Then who did Peter?” (Y/n) yelled at him. “Someone did!”

“Baby,” Peter whispered moving over to her, she wanted to back away from him but something in her brain told her not to. She let him pull her into a tight hug. “Spencer did,” he said softly and (Y/n) shocked her head no before he continued. “You know that he did. I knew where you were because I was watching you. I had to wait though until I knew that I would have enough time. Knowing you were in pain and I couldn’t do anything was the worst feeling in the world.”

“But he did this to you, Wendy. Think about it. How could I find you and not the FBI? He was leading them off in the wrong direction and has been doing that the whole time. He knows now if you come home that you’ll expose him. He can’t have that. If you go home he’ll kill you. I have no doubt in my mind that he’ll kill you if he ever finds you. Even the way that he hurt you, he knew how to hurt you the most, he wanted to inflict the most amount of pain.”

“I hate him,” Wendy whispered to Peter.

“I know.” He whispered. “I am so sorry that I couldn’t save you sooner. I never thought that he would escalate to the level of violence that he did, but I should’ve known and I will beat myself up for that every day until I die.”

“And I am sorry that Scott had to die, he didn’t deserve that.” Wendy nodded. “But that wouldn’t have happened if Spencer hadn’t moved you away from me.”

“It’s his fault Peter,” Wendy whispered.

“Thank you for saying that,” Peter whispered back

“Can you promise me things can go back to the way they were before you started staying out so late and coming home drunk?.”

“Yes,” Peter responded with no hesitation. “Anything to not lose you.”

----

September 2019

Washington D.C.

It was 11 pm before the jet finally landed back in D.C. The team shuffled off the small aircraft to head inside to grab their things. Hotch had told them that they could worry about paperwork in the morning, that they all deserved to be able to go home and sleep this case off.

Spencer followed everyone inside and watched as they grabbed their things before saying goodbye and heading home. He didn’t want to go home. Two years have passed since he lost her and the apartment still doesn't feel like home without her.

Heading up the stairs to Hotch’s office, Spencer felt so many emotions run through him, guilt for leaving his family, relief for not having to be in the field anymore to name a few. He was positive this was the right decision for him. It was kind of funny to him that this is what gets him to leave. After all the shit he’s been put through because of this job, it’s the missing wife that causes him to quit. Losing her has by far been the hardest thing he’s ever dealt with.

“You have a second?” Spencer asked, knocking on Hotch’s door. He was packing up for the night so that he could get home to Jack. Aaron nodded as Spencer came into the office. “I’ve already let the brass know, so please don’t try to change my mind.” he started taking a deep breath. “But this was my last case with the BAU.”

Hotch stopped what he was doing to look up at Spencer trying to gauge if he was serious or if this was some kind of a practical joke but seeing the look in his eyes Aaron knew that he was dead serious. “I understand.”

“You do?” Spencer asked.

Hotch nodded once. “When I lost Hailey I thought about quitting too. How did I not know that Foyett would do that? I blamed myself if I had been quicker on my feet if I had thought about this angle if I had done this if I had done that. It was exhausting.”

Spencer nodded knowing the feeling all too well. “What made you decide to stay?”

“Knowing that I could save someone else’s Hailey.”

“I’m not strong enough for that,” Spencer said weakly, his voice catching in his throat.

“You don’t have to be,” Hotch responded. “You’ve been strong for so long Spencer that you deserve to be weak for once.” Spencer looked down at his shoes as tears silently fell down his cheeks. “I got closure with Hailey. Not the kind I wanted but closure nonetheless. I know exactly where she is. She’s not coming back. I learned to deal with that. You don’t know where (Y/n) is. There is still a chance that she could come back to you which makes it impossible to let go.”

“I don’t know which is worse,” Spencer said with a bitter laugh.

“I don’t think anyone does.”

“Thank you for understanding,” Spencer said looking back up at the man in front of him. “It means a lot to me. I'll be in on Monday to get my things and let everyone know.”

“Okay,” Aaron responded. “We’re going to miss you.” He said and Spencer nodded. “And you’re more than welcome to come back at any time.”

“Thank you,” Spencer said even though they both knew that he would not be back. Even if (Y/n) were to come home, he couldn't see himself coming back not after everything that’s happened.

“Will you be teaching full time?”

“Yeah,” Spencer said. “They actually offered me a spot at the FBI academy to teach profiling.”

“They’re lucky to have you.”

“Thanks.” Spencer said “I’ll let you get home to Jack.” he said realizing how late it was getting. Aaron nodded watching the boy walk out of his office, his shoulder slumped in defeat. It wasn’t fair how hard life had been to that kid he thought to himself.

----

September 2017

Punta Cana, Dominican Republic

“You are such a lightweight,” Spencer said pushing (Y/n) up against the room door the second it closes behind the two. She giggles as his hands slip under her shirt to stop at the edge of her bra. “I didn’t even think it was possible to get drunk on Strawberry daiquiris.” he murmured before leaning down and kissing his way down her jaw to her neck.

“I’m not drunk.” She replied back between moans as she started unbuttoning his shirt before he shrugged it off.

“Are you sure about that?” He asked. “Your hand creeping it’s way up my thigh at dinner said otherwise.”

“I don’t see how that’s relevant” (Y/n) responded as he picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

“Because the drunker you get the more touchy-feely you get.”

“Not true.” (Y/n) responded by shoving her hands into her hair while he pulled away just enough to pull her shirt over her head and slip her bra off. “I always want to touch you even when I’m sober.”

“Sure” he countered. “But you never inch your hand so high up my thigh that I have to grab your wrist to make you stop in public.”

“No one would have cared.” (Y/n) responded. “It’s an adults-only resort, I’m sure they’ve seen way worse.”

“Possibly,” Spencer said adjusting the way that he was holding her so that he could move her over to the bed, he gently laid her down before resuming kissing her. “I love you so much,” he whispered into her skin.

“Then stop teasing please.” She said back wanting more than he was currently giving her.

“Only because you asked so nicely.” He replied, smirking before leaning down to put his mouth right. She desperately wanted him. It didn’t take long for her to fall apart, her hands tightly gripping his hair to keep him where she wanted him.

“God I love you.” She responded as he came back up to her and kissed her passionately. He separated only for a moment reaching over and grabbing something off the dresser. When she realized what was in his hand, she reached over putting herbs on top of his. “What happened to see what happened?” She asked and he looked at her judging how serious she was before throwing the unused condom into the trash can.

(Y/n) sighed in relief as he came back to her, locking eyes with her before leaning down to kiss her. “You’re my everything.” He whispered to her and she sighed at the feeling she had been waiting on for what felt like forever.

“Funny because I was going to say the same thing.”

----

February 2020

Washington D.C.

(Y/n) made sure the leash was tightened around Cherry as she approached the park that she had agreed to meet Spencer at. It was an unusually warm day in D.C. which is why she had mentioned it to him when they had talked on the phone last night. She wasn’t ready to go sit down with him at a restaurant. She wanted to be in an open space, where it was easy to getaway. A crowded space, where people would hear her scream. And she wanted to bring Cherry for the extra protection. Cherry being a labradoodle, and a pretty large one at that looked way more threatening than she really was.

She hadn’t told Louise that she was doing this because she didn't want to deal with the fall out in case things went south, in case she panicked and stood him up again. She also wasn’t ready to explain to Louise that no, she was not ready to move back in with her husband, and no this does not mean that things are going to be completely okay between them.

As expected, the park was crowded when she showed up ten minutes late. It was sixty degrees outside and there were tons of kids on the playground, adults running, moms walking with strollers. As (Y/n) made her way through the park, she headed to where the chess boards were set up. She knew that’s where Spencer would be.

Sure enough, she saw him sitting at a board playing with an eight-year boy. He looked so happy, his face was lit up and he just radiated joy. Something that she knew would disappear as soon as he saw her. (Y/n) watched from afar until Cherry decided to start barking at a squirrel that was running up a tree. The barking distracted Spencer enough to look up from the game and when their eyes met she realized that was wrong. He looked even happier to see her.

Spencer started to get up, much to the boy’s dismay, before (Y/n) walked over and stopped him. “You should finish,” she said and Spencer looked at her as if trying to figure out if she was serious when she nodded he resumed the game.

Five minutes later and he was telling the kid good game before standing up to join her. Cherry sniffed him curiously and when he held out his hands to pet her she decided that he wasn’t so bad. “Why did you let him win?” (Y/n) asked as they started walking on the paved trail.

“I didn’t.”

“Yes you did.” (Y/n) responded. “You never lose, I’m not buying that you lost to an eight-year-old.”

“He’s a good player and I got distracted at the end.”

“You know him?”

“His name is Charles,” Spencer said. “He’s here a lot.”

“I see.” (Y/n) responded before the two fell into silence.

“Thank you for suggesting that we do this.” Spencer said, “It’s a really nice day out.”

“It is.” (Y/n) responded. “I don’t know, I just thought that it would be easier for me to be with you face to face in a park than in a restaurant.”

“Of course.” He responded. “I’ll do whatever makes you the most comfortable.”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For not rushing me or making me feel pressured.” She said. At night when she was running through all the reasons that she knew Peter had lied to her, that was number one. “This is Cherry by the way.” (Y/n) said motioning towards the light-colored doodle that was sniffing anything and everyone. “Um, Peter got her for me. As well as the Fiat.”

“I was wondering about that,” Spencer responded. “She seems like a great dog.”

“She is.” (Y/n) responded. “How are your classes going?” (Y/n) asked, needing anything to fill the empty silence.

“Really well,” Spencer responded. “I mean some kids pick it up better than others but for the most part those who are actually interested in the class do really well. The girls that audit are kind of annoying though.”

“Why does that not surprise me?” (Y/n) asked and they both shared a laugh. It was so nice to be able to hear his laugh and for it not sound bitter or painful. He sounded like he was happy again and despite the fear, in her chest, it made her heart happy. “So what are your hours like now?”

“Usually I’m gone 9-5 but I use the extra time at the university in my office grading papers so I don’t have to bring it home.” (Y/n) smiled at the idea of him not traveling anymore. What a relief it would’ve been back before Peter had he done this. The idea of her husband having a 9-5 job would’ve made the old (Y/n) absolutely ecstatic.

“That’s great.” (Y/n) said, “I’m really happy for you.”

After walking another lap around the path, it was clear that Cherry was not going to make it for a third. “Do you care if we just sit down?” (Y/n) asked pointing to a picnic table and Spencer shook his head no as they made their way over there.

When they both sat down, Cherry made her way over to Spencer setting her head in his lap while he scratched her ears. “She likes you.” (Y/n) commented. “That’s high praise from her.”

“Really?” Spencer asked.

“Yeah.” she said. “She did not like the move down here at all. She was acting out all the time, when I would leave without her she would literally tear apart my brother’s house. When I took her to the vet the vet said that she was probably experiencing abandonment issues.”

“From losing Peter?” Spencer asked and (Y/n) nodded once.

“She did not like Derek at all.” (Y/n) said. “I mean the way she growled at him kind of scared me. She’s getting used to being here though, she’s much calmer.”

“That’s good,” Spencer said as the dog laid down in the grass, her head now resting on Spencer’s shoe.

“Can we have a hard conversation?” (Y/n) asked after a minute and watching the way Spencer tensed made her heartache. He nodded before she continued. “Did you ever um have anyone else during the two years I was gone?”

She watched Spencer furrow his eyebrow in confusion before he realized what she was asking him. “No,” he said. “Never.”

“Why?”

“I never thought that I would get married, (Y/n). Not that I didn’t want to, I just spent so long alone I kind of got used to it. So when you came along and agreed to marry me I knew you were the only one. I never gave up hope that you would come back.”

“Does it upset you that I loved him?” She asked her voice cracking slightly and she noted the way he looked away for a brief moment to composite his thoughts.

“Yes,” Spencer responded honestly. “I’m not going to lie and say it doesn't. But not because I’m mad that you ‘cheated’ or something” he said putting cheating in air quotes to make it clear he in no way thought that she cheated on him. “It makes me upset that he manipulated you into believing I was the bad guy and he was the good guy. It makes me really upset to think about you during those two years thinking that I was hurting you. That still keeps me up at night.”

“That makes me upset too.” (Y/n) responded. “I’ve come to terms with him being the bad guy in this story, his cover was starting to fade by the end anyways. And while I’ve come to see that there is no way that you could hurt me, there is still just this instinctive feeling in my chest that I should be afraid of you.” Spencer nodded. “That’s because of the extreme torture he subjected you too.”

(Y/n) was silent for a moment, reliving the horror that she endured. But then a thought crossed her mind and before she could stop herself she blurted out “Did they tell you what he did?”

Spencer shook his head no. “It was in the files, but I refused to read them.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t want to know,” he responded simply.

“I need you to.” (Y/n) said tears springing to her eyes. “I need you to know exactly what he did to me before we go any farther with whatever this is.”

“(Y/n),” Spencer said swallowing thickly. “I don’t want to imagine you in pain, I don’t want that image seared into my brain.”

“I don’t care.” (Y/n) said firmly. “I can’t live with this pain all alone Spencer. And if you want to be in my life again I need you to know. I need you to know how awful the night terrors are, waking up convinced I’m back in that warehouse. Or how the crackle of electricity makes my blood go cold. At the hospital when they tried to attach the wires to me to monitor her heart rate I became so freaked out that they had to sedate me. I need you to know just how broken I am Spencer or else this isn’t going to work.”

Spencer was quiet for a minute as he wiped tears away from his eyes. “Okay,” he whispered.

“Okay,” she repeated taking a deep breath wiping away a few of her own tears. “This is what happened.”

[dingdonghun]

Ghost stories!

So since @killjoy-loveit and @fangirlingandprocrastinating wanted to hear the ghost stories/experiences I have had... I will eggsplain the ones I can remember! I will start with the small quick ones first and go to the most intense one last.

1.) When my momma and I finally got our own house, which was very difficult since she was a single mother at the time, (owning your own house as a single mother at the time was unheard of), it was haunted when we moved in, but the ghosts didn’t seem to mind us! We would always hear loud cracks and footsteps in the attic at night, see lights that came from nowhere in the hallway, stuff like that, but they never tried to scare us. We kind of just lived in the same space together. When we moved out, our roommate still stayed until he had to get kicked out, and he said once we left, the activity got REALLY loud and bad all of the time. He said he thinks that they didn’t like that we left. I still feel sad about that.

2.) One time I brought home a little colored electric disco ball from an antique store, and brought home a little ghost girl with it. She was kind of a sad energy, honestly. I felt her around often. One time my mom asked me to get something out of my bedroom, in the middle of the day, keep in mind. So I went to my bedroom and the moment I walked through the door, there was a little sigh RIGHT in my left ear. I froze, then turned around and sprinted back to my mom in panic. I felt bad for reacting that way so I went back to my room immediately after and apologized for my reaction, and asked her not to do things like that because I startle easily. She didn’t after that. We couldn’t get her to move on, so I eventually got rid of the disco ball.

3.) We used to live in a house that people said had a “portal” in it. If you know what that is, it’s basically a portal to the “other side”, which means there is A LOT of activity in the house, ghosts constantly coming and going, and not always GOOD ones. The house was so dark, light really didn’t get into it. It was weird. When I was in the bath (I was only like 10) I always felt something watching me from the connecting door to the master bedroom of the guy who owned the house. (He was never there.) One time my mom and I had a huge fight and went to bed angry. I woke up in the middle of the night and there was a HUGE spider web connecting from wall to wall inches in front of my face, with a regular sized spider in the middle. Keep in mind, I have aracnophobia, and at the time, the lights in the room were off, it was PITCH BLACK, but I could see every detail of that web and spider as if the lights were on. I ducked underneath it and ran to my mom crying. She came in and turned on the light and nothing was there. In the same house at a different time, I also saw a daddy long leg spin down from a web directly in front of my face as I was following mom through the garage door. Daddy long legs cannot produce silk or web. So that was literally impossible. And when mom heard me yell and came back, it wasn’t there anymore. That house was a fucking nightmare lmao

4.) This one is the most intense one, as far as I can remember. A client we used to work for had a beach house. She let us stay there during the summer for free and we brought some friends most times. It was a really old beach house, and the children’s room had a bunk bed and cool toys. It also had a ouija board on the wall that nobody wanted to touch. Also when you opened the little toy closet, it felt like something awful was rushing out and straight through you. The very first time we used the beach house, I slept in the top bunk of the kids room. I woke up in the middle of the night frozen in fear, and I had no idea why. I looked out the window and there was a HUGE ball of solid light (no it wasn’t the moon, there was a building next to us blocking off the entire view of the sky) and it just... FELT... listen this part is personal and I don’t want to share it in front of all of my followers so I will keep it to myself, but anyways it felt like it was telling me to get out of the room RIGHT NOW. Like there was an urgency to it. So I literally jumped off the top bunk and hit the floor and ran to my mom.

After that, we went into the room and said we won’t come into that space anymore and to please leave us be. Every time we stayed after that, I slept on the fold out couch in front of the windows facing the sea. I liked it much better. But unfortunately, One time we were there, my mom brought her friend, and her friend brought her whole damn family, so her daughter and her daughter’s boyfriend slept in the bunk beds, where we promised not to go. The next morning I was sitting on the couch playing my ps2 while everyone else was eating breakfast, because I am an antisocial little shit, and all of the sudden everyone started yelling and then began to rush out of the house. Mom grabbed me and dragged me out too. Later she told me they were talking about the ghosts in the house. The girl and her boyfriend didn’t believe in ghosts, and the boy was mocking them. Saying “If there is really ghosts in this house why don’t they prove it” and immediately after that, he felt a huge scratch on his back, and they pulled his shirt up and there was a huge red handprint. Since then, my mom didn’t let us go back to the house because she said we “stirred something up and angered them” and she didn’t want to risk going back. A lot of little things happened in that house. Mom said when she woke up to use the restroom some nights, leading up to that incident, she’d hear the sound of a bouncing ball in the hallways, as if a kid was playing in it. She said she knew something was getting stirred up since then, because it was more activity then we were used to. 

The daughter went around the house as we were packing and took pictures of the house, and when she developed them there were orbs huddled together in a lot of the pictures, with one big orb off to the side by itself. My mom said the big one was probably what I saw in the room that night and that it was probably warning me to get out before the others ones hurt me. I was very thankful for that.

Anyways I know a lot of people don’t believe in ghosts and probably think I am crazy, but we can all agree to disagree and have different opinions. I am Ryan and you can be Shane.  

oh, a bonus story!!

5.) My mom and I had a cat named Princess a long time back. I had her since I was about two years old, and she passed when I was 18. she came everywhere with us (we moved a lot) so she was a huge part of my life. I still have pictures of her hanging up on my whiteboard calander. Anyways, when we go through hard times, my mom and I can feel a tickle on our lower legs like a cat tail brushing against us, for a few days in a row, and we can feel when we are almost asleep at night, something jump up on the bed and lay by our feet. It lasts for a few days and then goes away when I assume she thinks we will be okay without her. I miss her so, so much. I am very thankful for her still being here when we miss her or feel guilty that we couldn’t give her the best life she deserved. One day when I am finally able to get another pet, I hope she helps me find the one that’s meant for me.

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Z 204

Welp, Gohan’s just chillin’ in a giant nest.

Oh, also Goten’s here.    So there’s a family of those big pterodactyl-looking creatures and apparently Gohan and Goten are friends with them, but they’ve gone missing.  

This episode used to confuse me a lot when I first saw it, because I hadn’t watched the entire series up to this point, so I wasn’t sure if Chibi and his parents were a retcon or if they had appeared before this.     Gohan acts like he’s known them his whole life, but this is indeed their first appearance.   I think I might have confused them with Icarus aka Haiya Dragon, who was Gohan’s animal companion in Movies 3,4, 5, and Episodes 108-119.     Kind of weird how Toei just sort of dropped that altogether once the androids showed up.    Maybe Icarus died during the three year gap?   It just feels like this episode was written with him in mind, like he married a female of his species and now Gohan has to save his newly-hatched offspring.   

Meanwhile, Mr. Satan is chillaxing in his home, watching footage of himself winning the 24th Tenkaichi Budokai with a bottle of wine.    I suppose this is telling.   In private, this is the stuff that keeps Mr. Satan going.    His victory over Cell was a fabrication, but winning the World Tournament was a genuine achievement, one he can truly take pride in. 

I just wonder if he’s haunted by the memory of the Cell Games.   He’s the only one who knows what really happened, so he can’t tell anyone, even his own daughter.    Everything worked out, sure, but he still has to live with the knowledge that all of those strange people were stronger than himself.   That must put these highlight reels into a different perspective.   Maybe Mr. Satan is watching them for the sake of nostalgia.    He’s thinking back to a time when he didn’t know better, and he really believed he was the strongest man in the world.   

Anyway, Videl asks him about the previous Tenkaichi Budokai champion, and Mr. Satan explains that Son Goku was a mysterious man with a lot of fancy tricks, but he was surely no match for Mr. Satan.   

And this is apparently the moment when Videl realizes that the former champion has the same family name as Gohan.   Hmmm...

Meanwhile, Gohan and Goten watch news coverage of a circus wth a new act: a baby monster.  

Turns out, it’s Chibi, the baby they were looking for at the top of this episode.    This asshole named Musuka caught him and made him part of his asshole circus.    Seriously, what sort of act is this?    He just stands there with a whip and Chibi curls up into a ball and shivers in terror.    Why would people pay money to see this?

Awww, look at this adorable little man.    Fuck you, Musuka.    Fuck you and fuck your audience.    Fuck the circus, while I’m at it.  

Seriously, I don’t get the circus at all.    I have faint memories of going to one as a kid, and I’m pretty sure the only thing I wanted to see was Pac-Man, and I missed him while I went to the restroom or something.    I have no idea how Pac-Man was at the circus, but I just know I sat through like 95 hours of boring-ass non-Pac-Man content, and then I blinked and he wasn’t there.    Maybe I dreamed the whole thing.    Fuck the circus is my point.  

I’m pretty sure it was real, though, because I’ll see ads or circuses today and they promote appearances by Spongebob or some other cartoon character, and it’s probably just a guy in a suit.    The point is that they have to do that kind of thing because kids haven’t cared about animal acts for at least forty years.    They like cartoons and video games, because those are fucking awesome.   

And you don’t need a circus to have meet-and-greets with cartoon characters.    Just slap a costume on a guy and have him chill out in an air-conditioned building.    Circuses do it because they have to adapt to the times, except they keep clinging to all this other stuff that doesn’t work anymore.  

I have no pity for it.    I read a Batman comic from like 1988, where Dick Grayson checks up on the circus he used to run with before his parents got murdered, and every time Robin checks up on his circus pals they always do the sob story about how business is down because no one goes to the circus anymore.    It was cliche in 1988, and that comic is older than most of the people reading this.   I’ve been hearing about the slow, agonizing decline of the circus my entire life, and I was born in the Carter administration for crying out loud.   Nobody goes to Sears anymore, and you don’t see anyone feeling sorry for Sears.   

I don’t want to get too anti-capitalist on this thing, but it annoys me when people get all weepy over businesses that can’t keep up with the market.   Everyone was all sad when Toys R’ Us went bankrupt, but that’s bullshit, because no one really cares about Toys R’ Us, or they wouldn’t have gone out of business in the first place.   What is it we miss about that store?   You can buy the merchandise elsewhere, which is exactly what everyone did.    So what’s left?    Geoffrey the Giraffe?    Fuck that guy.    He’s no Pac-Man, that’s for sure.   The jingle?   You can look that up on YouTube right now.   

The circus is the same deal.    We’re supposed to care when one of them shuts down because it had been in business for like 105 years or something, like just because something is old that makes it important.   Once upon a time they didn’t have Pokemon, and the best you could do was to hope some carnies rolled through your town and they had a cool bear that would do tricks.    But that business model wasn’t going to last forever, and if it can’t adapt to the times then it doesn’t deserve to continue as it is.    I feel like I read once that circuses have shifted their focus towards human performers, which makes more sense to me, because it gets the animal rights activists off their back, and the humans can do flashier things anyway.    Then again, I scratch that itch by watching pro wrestling, so I don’t know if that’s viable.    It comes down to a question of what a circus has to offer without giving up its identity as a circus.    if the answer is to rebrand as some other kind of show, then just do it and don’t look back.    If you’re determined to keep up the pretense out of some misplaced sense of obligation, then don’t look for pity when the business dries up.  

Same deal with trains.     I dig Johnny Cash, but he had this one song that was basically all moping about how nobody travels by train anymore.    Well I rode a passenger train once and it was exactly like taking an airplane only cheaper and slower.   That’s why people don’t do it as much.    You can romanticize this stuff, but you need more than romance to turn a profit.   

Anyway, where was I?    Oh, right, Gohan tries to talk the owner into releasing Chibi into the wild, and when he gets shot down, Gohan just waltzes over to Chibi’s cage and busts him out.   

Yeah!    Fight the power!

Yeah, this is a Triangle Guy episode, by the way.  

Musuka doesn’t take kindly to hearing his star attraction has been stolen.   What’s amazing to me is how he’s just sitting at his desk counting huge stacks of cash, presumably earned from people paying top dollar to watch him abuse a defenseless animal.    I mean, yeah, this is Dragon Ball Z, but this is pretty broad, even for this show. 

So Gohan plans to just fly Chibi back to his nest, but oops, Chibi’s having a hard time flying so high and so fast.     Awwww, look at the spirals in his eyes, he’s all dizzy.  Hang in there, buddy.   

So basically Chibi is baby.    Gohan will have to carry him out of Satan City on foot.   

I forget why, but the truck driver from the Vegeta/18 fight is in this episode.    Pretty sweet.

Then Videl shows up.    Musuka called the cops, who in turn called in Videl, since Great Saiyaman’s a little out of their league.    Videl’s shocked that Saiyaman would steal like this, but it gives her an excuse to fight and unmask him, so she’s down with it.  

So yeah, you’ve probably seen the gif of this shot where Videl jumps on Gohan and wraps her legs around his head, but I’m pretty sure she was setting up a hurricanrana.   Everyone needs to get their heads out of the gutter.   

Awwwwwwwwwwww.

Awwwwwwwwwwwww.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

For some reason, Musuka wanders over and starts whipping Chibi, like that would help anything in this situation.    Seriously why does he need a whip?   Anyway, Chibi cries out and...

... Uh-oh.

So here are Chibi’s parents, and they’re not pleased.   This was exactly what Gohan was afraid might happen, but Videl wouldn’t listen to him, and he didn’t want to just punch out Videl, Musuka, and the cops to avoid this.   

The cops try to shoot at Chibi’s parents, and Gohan can’t get anyone to back off.   I don’t see why he doesn’t just grab Chibi and hand him over, but whatever.

I think around here, the dub has Gohan try to talk to them, and Videl points out that dinosaurs can’t talk.    So Gohan goes “Yes, thank you Videl, you’re very smart.”

But I do like this version, where Videl is surprised to find that Great Saiyaman’s childhood involved playing with pterodactyl monsters.    This is the sort of stuff Gohan doesn’t want gettng out about himself.   Not this specifically, but just the idea that he’s super strong and runs with huge animals and his best friend is King Piccolo and he turned into a giant gorilla a couple of times.   

Anyway, Gohan’s idea is that he can use his voice to get them to calm down, since they ought to recognize him.  

But at one point he almost uses his real name, and Videl gets so fixated on it that she takes her eye off the whole “giant monster” situation. 

Then Masuka pulls a gun and Chibi’s dad almost eats Videl and it’s all breaking down...

(Awwwwwwwwww.....)

So Gohan has to deck Chibi’s dad to get things under control.    Maybe he should have just done that in the first place.  

Chibi’s all upset, but Gohan didn’t hit him that hard, so it’s cool.  

Fortunately, Chibi’s mom is a bit more practical, so Gohan hands him off to her and escorts them out of the city, carrying Chibi’s dad on his back.   

Nice shot of the reunited family.

And Goten flies over to get a kiss from Chibi.    What a good boy.    My only regret here is that no one kicked Musuka in the balls.    He threatens to go back and capture Chibi all over again, but Videl threatens him into abandoning that idea.

The next day, Gohan’s wearing a bandaid on his face because of a scratch he got from Chibi’s dad.   I think in the manga, he got it from the Red Shark Gang, but whatever.    Point is, Videl thanks him for yesterday, and he completely forgets himself and responds to this, which basically blows his secret identity.   

The moral here is that there’s more to a secret identity than the disguise.   In the end, Gohan’s just too honest to live a double life.   Videl asks him if he’s the Golden Warrior too, and he insists that he isn’t, because he absolutely cannot let that secret get out.    I’m not sure why, though, since Videl already knows he has super powers.   A few episodes later, it’ll become clear that Gohan doesn’t want Videl to find out that he beat Cell instead of her father, so maybe that’s part of what’s going on here.

Anyway, Videl agrees to keep his secret, if Gohan agrees to enter the 25th Tenkaichi Budokai.    Last episode, she found out that the 23rd Tenkaichi Budokai’s winner was Son Goku, and she figures that must mean Gohan is his son.  And since her father won the 24th Budokai, she’s thinking it might be cool if they both entered the next tournament.   Gohan isn’t too interested in that idea, but he has no choice, since Videl will expose him unless he plays along.   

I never really thought about this, but Videl really acts as the flashpoint for this entire arc.    Everything that happens from this point onward is a direct result of the tournament.    All the major players converse there, and that only happens because Gohan chose to enter, and that only happens because Videl blackmailed him into it.   

And really, Videl’s only taking this much of an interest in Gohan because of the Cell Games, and the Z-Fighter’s indifference to Mr. Satan claiming the victory over Cell.    She’s convinced that her father and Gohan’s father are peers, and that the two of them could have an even match.     If the Cell Games had played out differently, maybe Videl wouldn’t bother bringing any of this up.   

Oh, one last thing, Videl wants Gohan to show her how to fly, since it gives him an unfair advantage over her.   

So now Gohan’s stuck.    He has to fight Videl in public and teach her how to fly.     Well, he’s been through worse situations than this.   

[lysung]

Wabi-sabi (part 1)

Genre: angst, fluff (in the upcoming chapters :))

Pairing: Minsung (Jisung + Minho)

Words: 2,750

Summary: Wabi-sabi means imperfect or incomplete beauty. This is a central concept in Japanese aesthetics, which comes from Buddhist teachings on the transient nature of life. A pot with uneven edges is more beautiful than a perfectly smooth one, because it reminds us that life is not perfect.

Han Jisung and Lee Minho are two average high schoolers who have differences in common; two of them are being from the other high schoolers are being a part from the LGBT community and too thoughtful in an unhealthy way, besides many other things society would see as "flaws". After accidentally knowing each other through Twitter, they eventually became best friends but both of them still had colorless and monotone lives outside internet, until that, someday, one of them is about to get beaten up for being LGBT and the other one defends a random guy from getting beaten up by one of his best friends.

Warnings: bullying, homophobia, depressive thoughts

A/N: hello! i'm alexis and this is my first au :) i know this blog is supposed to be a fluff imagines blog, but i've been feeling like writing some ansgt lately. i hope y'all don't mind it ^^ i've worked hard on this since it's my arts homework as well, so i didn't have all the time to write this, but i did write it on my pace and, honestly, im still a bit unconfident about this one. if this gets a great reaction, i will definitely continue this asap ❤️ i hope you enjoy and please leave a heart and/or reblog, it would help me a lot and make my day 💕

=================================

Legend says that, as soon as you’re born, you get a red string tied to your finger, connecting you to someone you’re destined to meet, regardless of time, place or circumstance. The string may stretch or tangle but it will never break.

Han Jisung always found the Universe majestic but crazy at the same time. Isn’t it weird how everything happen as it wills? Or, maybe, would it be They? Who is in control of the universe, if there’s someone with such power? Would they be God? But who is God, actually? Is there someone above God? — This kind of thought dominated the teenager’s mind every once in a while and, when it did, it would always keep him up at night. The thought of living his own life but, actually, being controlled by a divine existence, would scare him sometimes.

But, the thing is: the Universe, be it "it" or "they", never did anything out of the blue. Everything happens for a reason; whether if we trip or fall, cry out of pain or laughter, fake or genuinely smile, nothing happens “just because”. And we live to grow up as individuals and learn each and every lesson “it” has to teach us, even the small and silly ones.

Laid down on his bed, Jisung, who strongly believed in such legends, turned off his phone and stared at his dark-ish room’s ceiling, slightly bright thanks to the street lights outside.

These thoughts were, once again, haunting him. All he could do was wonder 3 things: What is he supposed to learn? Why? And, specially, who is going to help him?

These thoughts were soon replaced by self depreciative ones as soon as he looked through the window and noticed the sun rising. He would soon have to be up to get ready for another monotone day of school. He turned around, his back facing the windows, closed his eyes and, one more time, tried to fall asleep. But, as time passed, his thoughts wouldn’t go away; neither his usual philosophical thoughts or the self depreciative ones. There were hundreds of voices screaming in his head – some were calling him, some sounded mad, you would be afraid if you could hear them too. And when he least expected, his alarm ranged, meaning not only it was time for him to get ready for school, but also that he lost another fight to his strong mind.

Later that morning, during class change, he noticed 3 of his seniors in the other side of the corridor. Changbin, Hyunjin and Felix were staring at him and laughing out loud; he tried to ignore them and got his material for Math class. Walking to his classroom carefully, trying his best to avoid them, but they eventually came to him and Changbin pinned him to the nearest locker.

"Where are you trying to go, you shameless fag?" Changbin, their "leader", said to his face in provocation.

"Leave me alone, Changbin. Mind your own busin-" The younger tried to say and break free from his strong grip, but failed and was cutted out by Changbin.

"What are you gonna do? Are you gonna run away? Huh?" The oldest said, the provocation never leaving his tone.

Jisung was speechless. The small anxious boy didn't know what to do — should he fight back? Say something mean to them? Run away? He was totally alone and lost; there was nothing he could do.

"What is going on in here?" A high-pitched voice echoed through the, now, empty corridor, and, right next to them was the school's principal, looking pissed off as usual.

"Oh, nothing, Mrs. Kang! I was just... just... asking him how he'll go back home after school, so that I would know if I should take him home or not, hehe! I love this guy, Mrs. Kang. You have no idea how much I lo-"

"Detention. The 4 of you. And, Mr Seo, I'll let you go this time but, if you ever try to lie to me again, it's detention for a whole week. No buts." Mrs. Kang said and left, cutting Changbin's excuse off and getting a sigh from each of them in response.

"Listen up." To turn back to Jisung was the first thing Changbin did as soon as Mrs. Kang left. "I will get you and teach you how to behave like a real man, annoying faggot. Wait for it." Changbin threatened again, looking deep in Jisung's eyes and left. He watched their figures get smaller as they walked through the long corridor, fear and regret as evident in his eyes than never. Changbin had something in his eyes that made Jisung even more confused and lost.

As soon as the group had finally disappeared, Jisung bursted to the school's restroom without looking back, not being able to hold back the tears. Poor boy wouldn't make it to Math today and he was very aware of it.

This was just a tiny bit of Jisung's daily life, but it always shattered his heart in a billion pieces. He wondered, how can people be this heartless? Why are people like this to people like him, who were just born "different"? What's so wrong in being different? In being yourself? In loving someone, not minding their gender identity? What did Jisung do to deserve to live in such a inhumane society?

What did people like him did for the universe to punish them like this? What did they do to deserve such pain?

Jisung eventually lost his hope on society and hated his mind even more for being so cruel to him. All these voices calling him out, calling him names and saying stupid things would never shut up. How great would it be if he had somewhere to scream freely, without fearing to be heard...

As he walked through a dark path in life, it only seemed to get darker. He tried his best to run away, but something was stronger than him, pulling him further into the endless darkness, regardless of how much he fighted back, until he couldn't fight anymore. That's when he gave up.

After two hours spent locked in the bathroom, including some time to calm down a little bit and reduce the swelling in his eyes at least a little bit, he finally left the restroom and safely got his stuff and went to his classroom, lowering his head to hide his swollen eyes.

And this is how Jisung spent the rest of his time at school: hiding himself from everyone, specially his eyes. No one should see his eyes, or else he would be bombarded with questions and feel even worse with people pretenting to be concerned.

When he was finally back home, his safe place, the first things he's done was locking himself in his room and throwing himself on his bed. It was a way too long day for Jisung and all he wanted was to sleep forever.

Hence he couldn't sleep, he unlocked his phone and tried to look for a calm and soothing song to sleep when he received a message from one of his favorite people ever: Lee Minho, a friend he knew through Twitter. They were like best friends; sending memes, using matching icons, tagging each other in random "love yourself" tweets and even writing sweet things to the other, just to remind them that they are loved and appreciated. It was the kind of friendship people either envy or ship. They would never stop talking to each other and Jisung would never find the exact words that can express all his gratitute for having such an amazing person in his life.

"hey, how was school today? did those dumbasses disturb you again?" Minho asked him in the most "Minho" way as always. Jisung's heart always skipped a beat whenever he would receive a message from him - he's one of the few people who actually worry about him and he loved this feeling.

"it actually sucked as always, but there's not much I can do about it anyways. and yeah, they did, that's why :(" Jisung replied, trying hard not to remind of what happened earlier.

"wait right there bub, i'll brb i will get some tickets to go to your city and kick some asses to mars" Jisung smiled at his reply. Ever since they talked for the first time, Minho's personality amazed Jisung. They were completely opposites, and that was the fun part - their differences made everything perfect.

Minho was, unfortunately, the only person Jisung told about Changbin and his "crew". He just couldn't gather the courage to tell anyone but him, blind by scenarios of his family's possible reactions.

"you're so weird" "i love you so much" Jisung replied and smiled as wide as he could. This kind of reply between them would be pretty common. Now, the question is: is it really a joke or not? Did they mean it, or not? They never even thought about saying this, but it obviously made both of their hearts best crazily fast.

"now that's a lie because i love you more" and tons of heart emojis and memes were shared.

They were each other's happiness, home, a safe place. It was incredible how each message would melt both their hearts. Happiness was endless whenever they would talk. "If only universe could make us live near...", Jisung said to himself. He just wanted to hold tight this bright light that had been brightening up the path Jisung was going through.

"hey, I didn't go to school today so i kept on reading about random facts and found out about a japanese legend that says that two people who are destined to meet are connected by a string tied to their hands and i thought of you" "you said you really like legends like this, so i was wondering if you knew about this one..." Jisung's cheeks began to hurt for smiling for so long. Minho makes him feel so loved, which is a feeling he's still not used to, but he wish he could feel all this in person.

"you're so adorable :( and yes i do know this one, it's one of my favorites!" "i wonder who's on the other side of my string..."

"if you're not gonna be on the other side of my red string then what's the point."

"i love you. i wish i could say this in person."

"i love you too bub and that's fine. some day this will happen, okay? we can and will make it happen. promise?"

"promise."

(...)

It was time for another monotone day at school. He would always know what was going to happen because it's been like this for a while now: he goes to school, sleeps in class, is bullyied, sometimes sleeps a bit longer and then, go back home. It's like he's stuck in a viscious loop - in the end of the day, he would always come back home with a sad expression in his face but he couldn't change this.

At school, waiting for biology class to begin, Jisung decides to try talking to someone. If he wants to stop avoiding people, he should be able to have short conversations with anyone. While talking to this girl who sits beside him about a test they would have later that day, a group of boys sat next to him and started to talk in a much higher tone. Jisung couldn't see their faces before they sat, but it was, surely, Changbin as his crew. Soon they started "talking" about gays and how they are ridiculous. Nice. What a beautiful place with sympathetic people, yay. Poor boy could barely focus in class because of all the noise they were making.

As his class ended and he was about to get his materials for his upcoming biology class, the same group of boys pinned Jisung just like the day before. He was shaking; it was happening one more time and he still didn't know what to do. Shaking under his breath, he didn't say or do anything. He wouldn't dare.

"Hello fairy, we're back." This was enough for Jisung to want to disappear. No, not these feelings again...

"H-hey... b-b-back for w-what?" Jisung asked, stuttering, in deep hopes it wasn't about what he thought.

"I told you we we would teach you how to be a real man, didn't I? And we'll do it now. You'll thank us later when you finally understand what being normal is." Changbin said, clearly trying to scare Jisung even more but, unfortunately, he couldn't get anymore scared. He could barely move or speak. He definitely gave up when he saw Changbin's fist in the air, getting ready to punch him, but another yell from the other side was calling for Changbin this time. His attention was divided between Jisung and the mysterious guy.

"What are you even trying to do?" The guy asked, trying to separate Jisung from them.

"N-no, it's not like that, I swear-"

"What is this supposed to be, then? I saw what I saw, and heard what I heard. So, you're gonna teach him how to 'act like a real man'? Because of what, he's gay?"

"Minho, what are you doing?" Changbin tried to reach him and grab his arms, just like how they would do when they were children, but, this time, Minho wasn't feeling like it. He completely understood what was going on and something must be done about it. He wasn't going to keep anything to himself in such moment, even if the one he's confronting is one of his best friends.

"First of all, he is a man. He's not 'less manly' than you, just because he like boys. Love is normal. Don't you even dare try to say it is not normal, or a sin, or whatever excuse you want to give." Minho kept on yelling and pushing Changbin and his other friends. It did hurt him inside, but he wouldn't stop. "You believe in God, right? Well, God wants you to respect His children as who they are. Also, stop acting as if 'gay cure' exist. You think beating a gay up will 'cure' him, huh? Well, this is not and will never be the right option, Changbin. He's done nothing wrong and there's nothing to be cured. You are the one who should learn to be a man. I thought you had finally understood me when we had that talk, maybe you really weren't paying attention at all, apparently. I can't with all this. You have absolutely 0 respect for people who aren't like you, and I won't stand this anymore. I can't do this. You will never change." At this point, there was a crowd watching Minho, their jaw dropped. He really thouched each of them deeply. Jisung could feel the pain and suffering in his voice. All he wanted to do was to hug him, if it means it would make Minho feel better, even if just for a while. He thought he is so brave for standing up for someone like Changbin because of a stupid dude he didn't even know. This is insane.

Maybe you can still have hope on this society, after all.

[durazno-dulce]

All I Want

A/N: This is kinda bad?? My first time posting writing on here, this follows the song All I Want by Kodaline. Sorry if it’s terrible. 

Word Count: 1.5k+

(Part 2)

(Masterlist)

All I want is nothing more

To hear you knocking at my door

(Y/N) sat on her couch in an empty house wrapped in a blanket staring off into the void, her mind lost in thought. Her thoughts lingered to the night she had last seen Roger.

“I love you, I promise I do.” He said pleading with her, his eyes puffy with tears streaming down.

“You may love me,” she said voice quivering and stifling her cries,”but you’re not in love with me and it’s okay, I understand but I can’t hold onto somebody whose found that in somebody else.”

“Please don’t do this, it’s not like that.” He protested as though he were trying to make himself believe the words that were coming out of his mouth.

“I will always love you, but it time to let go of this, it’s not fair to hold onto me when I’m preventing you from being with someone you truly love.” She sobbed, her voice was somber but firm on her decision. Roger opened his mouth to say something but his mind was trying to process everything not allowing him to get any words out. (Y/N) picked up her bags and walked to the door.

“I wish-“ she started before a lump in her throat stopped her from continuing.

She let out a sob before continuing. “I wish it were different, I wish you could’ve found love in me, but I know you can’t control that.” She blurted out before breaking down.

That had been weeks ago, the sting of heartbreak seemed endless and her thoughts added salt to the wound. She gazed at the door longing for the sound of a knock. (Y/N) longed to see the beautifully disheveled hair and serene blue eyes staring back at her with an embrace as though nothing had happened. Instead she was only met with a deafening silence, only the soft crackling of the fireplace and soft pattering of rain could be heard making her feel more alone then before.

'Cause if I could see your face once more

I could die as a happy man I'm sure

Roger sat at the dining table of his flat, messy hair and dried tears lingered on the features of his face. His breakfast now seemingly unappetizing as he messed with the piece of toast in his hand. He got up from his table and threw it in the bin before walking into the living room void of (Y/N)’s personable items leaving it bare of any reminders of her.

Some of Audrey’s things lingered in his flat, she was the girl that he fell for, it was a small innocent crush that escalated. (Y/N) caught on and was quick to end things with Roger when she found out about the nature of their relationship, but he knew the connection with Audrey was nothing that compared to the one with (Y/N).

While Roger searches for a drumstick he had lost days prior he found a photo album, one that (Y/N) had made him for prior to the American tour so he could see her everyday and they both made sure to fill the book with everything they did. He opened up the album looking at each picture (Y/N)’s loving gaze as he laughed at something idiotic or more intimate moments where they each took time taking candid photos of one another.

His heart fluttered at each picture, before remembering his current state. His heart ached to see her, a picture couldn’t do justice to the beauty that his heart fell for the first time he saw her.

When you said your last goodbye

I died a little bit inside

(Y/N) regained her composure as she fiddled with the ring on her finger. Her chest felt tight as she struggled on each breath, her crying feeling endless. Her heart broke as she slipped the ring off her finger watching Rogers face fall, emotions getting to the best of him. He turned away, he couldn’t bare to watch his promise of a future being broken in a second.

She placed the ring on the small table by the door, she once again grabbed her things. She walked up to him looking flustered, but he still saw her beauty beyond the mess. She gave him one last kiss on the cheek before opening the door.

“I love you.” She said giving him one last sad smile before closing the door behind her and walking out of Rogers life.

I lay in tears in bed all night

Alone without you by my side

(Y/N) finally got up from her spot on the couch and walked into the restroom, she looked at herself in the mirror as she looked in disgust. Her lack of self care was starting to show after the past couple of weeks. She slipped into the shower taking some extra time to lather her body and clean herself up. Upon exiting the shower she felt more refreshed, her eyes less puffy and skin less dull. She slipped into an old T-shirt and some underwear before walking to her room and sat on the edge of her bed looking at the empty spot next to her.

She slipped under the covers turning off her light and turning on her side to observe the side of her that held Rogers body but now void of anything. The moonlight just slightly cascaded in through the window illuminating and emphasizing the void that haunted the space beside her. She lost sleep every night with a mind that refused to let go and imagining what life would have been like had things turned out differently.

She couldn’t help but pass the thought that maybe, just maybe, he was thinking of her too.

But If you loved me

Why did you leave me

Not a day went by that Roger didn’t think of (Y/N), he knew that her leaving was his fault but he couldn’t help but think that she would burst through those doors with a boisterous laugh and a story of how her day at work was.

He could still remember her voice so clearly as though you were still in the room with him. Roger wished she’d never let him go, he wished he’d fought harder to keep her, but he knew that it was not fair to blame her for his own issues.

Roger eventually walked to the kitchen and looked at the phone, his mind was deep in thought before he dialed a number.

Cause you brought out the best of me

A part of me I'd never seen

You took my soul wiped it clean

Our love was made for movie screens

“Roger!” (Y/N) yelled as she ran into Rogers arms following her arrival into the studio.

“Hello love.” Roger said smiling back at her giving her a peck on the top of your head as the other boys laughed at the two of you.Roger let go as you walked over to Freddie giving him a nudge on the shoulder before being pulled into a hug.

“How are you darling?” He said pulling up your hand emphasizing the new ring on your finger.“I’ve never been better Fred.” She said softly with nothing but happiness behind her statement

“You’re the only girl I’d ever seen that brought out the best in Roger, I’m so happy he found you (Y/N).” Freddie said with a smile as the rest of the boys caught on giving you each a congrats and hug.

To find somebody

I'll find somebody

The phone rang and rang, finally Brian answered.

“What are you doing tonight?” He asked with the intent to block out anything in his mind.

~

(Y/N) had finally gotten the courage to call Freddie on the phone after several weeks, he answered almost immediately.

“Love I’ve been waiting for this call, I knew you needed your time.” He said, you could hear the empathetic tone in his voice.

“May I ask? Roger has refused to tell me anything.” He murmured almost fearful of the result. She knew what he was hinting at, you hadn’t told anyone as to why you and roger called it quits and obviously he had the same idea.

You gave a small painful laugh, “One day, I was the love of his life, the next I wasn’t. Crazy how quickly feelings can change, but you can do nothing but accept what comes at you.” You said sadness in your voice.

“Come out with me tonight, you need some fun,” Freddie said a soft tone in his voice. “I promise you won’t regret it.”

~

Roger sat at the bar ordering a pint, as Brian excused himself to talk to someone in the pub when he feels a presence next to him.

He turns to see the long hair he could recognize in an instant and a lovely dress he’d never thought he’d see again. A sad smile appeared on the girls lips.

“It’s nice to see you stranger.”

[ila9182]

Angst/fluff 50 Sharon and Andy?

Thank you, anon, for the ask and forgive me it took me so long to write this one for you. This prompt takes place during Major Crimes, late season 4.

I hope you will enjoy it! ;)

50. “Nothing is wrong with you.”

“We could stay here some more, just like this…” Sharon whispered against Andy’s chest.

They had just finished watching a movie and Sharon didn’t intend to break the comfortable moment they were sharing. At some point during the movie, she had tucked her legs underneath her body and moved closer to him, her head resting on Andy’s chest. He had welcomed her need for closeness by simply tightening his hold on her without saying a word. He had been rather silent the whole evening and Sharon assumed he must have been tired after their eventful day at work. When Andy finally spoke, there was hesitation in his voice, “You’re sure this is a good idea?”

“I’m not sleepy yet and I’m definitely enjoying this…” she added with a smile, her hand playing with a button of his shirt. “I really needed this after today…” she added briefly closing her eyes before focusing on the button of his shirt again.

“This is not what I’m talking about…” He softly replied.

The seriousness of his tone made her stop and lift her head from his chest to look at him in the eyes. Suddenly she could tell it wasn’t only tiredness. There was something different this time in those hazel eyes; something that looked more like pain or fear, she couldn’t exactly tell. Her gut was hinting that something was off. She didn’t want to get nervous, but her voice gave her away once she was finally able to ask, “What are you talking about, Andy?”

“Today’s case got me thinking…”

Andy didn’t need to say more. Sharon knew what he was talking about. She closed her eyes and sighed. She should have known better, she should have known that the case would have hit close to home. A woman killed in a hit-and-run. They had closed the case pretty fast, finding the hit-and-run driver as he was trying to get rid of his damaged car. It could have been an ordinary case if it wasn’t for the background story that explained why the victim, Paula Williams was driving with a suitcase in her car in the middle of the night. She had found out that her husband Travis had once again relapsed into alcohol. They had argued and she had run away, sick of his empty promises and incessant lies. She had told him that this would have been the last time he would see her. Both had no clue of how tragic those words would have sounded. Travis Williams didn’t kill his wife, a distracted driver did, but in his mind, he would always be the reason she was out in the middle of the night, driving to God knows where. The guilt over his wife’s death would haunt him for the rest of his life.

Sharon reached for Andy’s cheek and cupped it. He closed his eyes as he leaned into her touch, memories of what happened at the courthouse and the words exchanged with Jack Raydor coming back to Andy’s mind.

“You really think you’re what’s better for my wife, Flynn?” Jack asked Andy, once he was close enough for the other man to hear.

Andy turned around and tried to hide the irritation that started creeping inside him when he corrected him, “Ex-wife, Jack. I’d like to remind you that you two are divorced.”

Jack scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest, silently studying Andy before answering, “Oh Flynn, don’t pretend to be better than me. I know who you are, we were drinking buddies, remember? As much as you try to get rid of that part of your life, it’s still here and it’s only a matter of time before you screw everything up again…” A satisfied smirk appeared on Jack’s face as he added, “and I’ll be here waiting for it to happen and to enjoy the show.”

Had it been a couple of years ago, Andy would have punched him in the face right away. Instead, he clenched his fists and took a deep breath, trying to calm down. He knew the last thing Sharon wanted was for her ex-husband and boyfriend to fight in the courthouse. She wouldn’t have tolerated any of it. So, Andy simply shrugged and shot back with a half smile, “Hate to disappoint you, Jack, but you may have to wait forever for that to happen.”

“Ha ha ha, funny Flynn. That’s what you tell Sharon to reassure her? Does she really believe that crap?” Jack asked as he rolled his eyes. “Thought she was more clever than that… too bad for her, she’s just making the same mistake all over again.” He said, shaking his head, falsely exasperated. “You’re no better than me or Travis Williams, Flynn. Keep that in mind.” Jack added as he walked past Andy, patting his shoulder.

Sharon had walked out of the restroom just in time to see Jack pat Andy’s shoulder and leave. When she had come across him in the hallway of the courthouse, her ex-husband had merely nodded at her and she had done the same. Now she started to wonder if the two men had really only exchanged a greeting as Andy had told her. She knew her ex-husband too well; he wouldn’t have kept quiet in such a situation. There was obviously something Jack had told Andy that had him suddenly growing so insecure and silent. Sharon didn’t have to think too much about it because Andy finally spoke again, “You’re just the most remarkable woman I’ve ever met, Sharon…”

His sudden admission drew a smile to her face and she felt her eyes glistening. Her hand still on his cheek, she stroked it with her thumb, when she noticed he was looking down, avoiding eye contact. She frowned. She could tell there was more, but she didn’t want to pressure him. She kept stroking his cheek when she saw his lips moving, “And you deserve the best… you deserve so much better than me.”

Sharon froze, her hand on his cheek stopping and unceremoniously falling to her lap as her smile progressively disappeared from her face. She hadn’t seen that coming. She wondered if it was one of those lame excuses people used when they wanted to break up. Something like it’s not you, it’s me or you deserve so much better. Her throat tightened as she felt a lump forming. If he was leaving her, she wasn’t going to cry in front of him, she wasn’t going to let him show how much he was hurting her. She couldn’t speak, she wasn’t even sure she could breathe properly. She wanted to ask him to explain himself, but she didn’t have to because he went on, “I mean… I just feel like the luckiest idiot in the world to have such a wonderful woman by my side… and I don’t think I deserve this, I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve someone like you. Possibly nothing good, I’m an alcoholic and will always be one… and you deserve so much better than having to deal with another jerk fighting alcoholism…”

Sharon would have slapped him if he weren’t already beating himself up. How could he be so stupid to think such a thing?! She needed to stop his rambling. She straightened and took a deep breath as she firmly said, “Andrew Flynn, stop this nonsense immediately.”

Andy sat with his mouth wide open and he frowned. It took him a few seconds to recompose himself as he answered in a barely audible voice, “Sharon, this is serious.”

“And I’m serious too, Andy.” She replied, shaking her head. “How can you possibly believe that I am better off without you? You are what I need, Andy.”

“I am so screwed up, Sharon.” He whispered, looking down once again. “And you…”

“Andy.” She firmly called to him, cutting him short and lifting his chin with her thumb. “Remember what I told you not long ago? That I’ve been looking out for my own interest all my life and that I don’t need you for that?” She saw him nod and she added, “Well, I’m telling you this again. I’m grown up enough to make my own decisions and I chose you.” She paused and looked at him right in the eyes as she repeated, “I will always choose you, Andy.”

“You don’t deserve someone so wrong.” Andy reasoned, as he kept repeating the things he had told himself during the whole afternoon.

“Andy, will you please listen to me?” Sharon replied, a hint of irritation in her voice. He was the most stubborn man in the world. Her voice went back soft when she moved her hand from his chin to his cheek, stroking it as she slowly told him, “Nothing is wrong with you.” She paused, making sure the words sank in, “There is not a single thing wrong with you, you hear that, Andrew Flynn?” She repeated. She saw him opening his mouth to protest, but she raised her hand to stop him. “You’re an alcoholic, that’s true, but you’re also the man who hasn’t had a drink in twenty years. You’re the man I admire for the strength, the integrity, and the passion you put in everything you do. You’re the man I’m proud of every single day, because you could have chosen the easy way out, but you didn’t. You’ve decided to fight every day and to fix all the things that you did wrong in your life instead of drowning your sorrows inside a bottle.” She paused as she studied him. He was looking at her and she noticed his eyes were glistening with unshed tears. She took a deep breath as she added, “You’re the man I love…” Her voice trailed off as she whispered, “What you are is who I love, Andy. Every part of you, even your stupid stubbornness.” She added with a smirk.

A lone tear escaped Andy’s left eye. She caught it and brushed it away with her thumb before it reached the crook of his neck. He offered her a smile and she answered with one of her brightest. He covered the hand she had on his face with his before taking it and squeezing it. Their fingers naturally intertwined and he stared at them silently for a few seconds before gently pulling her toward him. He let go of her hand and slid an arm around her as his lips met hers in a passionate kiss. They broke off for air and he whispered, his lips still touching hers, “I love you, Sharon, so so much.”

Sharon beamed at him before a small chuckle escaped her lips. “Good to know.” She answered with another chuckle. He looked at her with a questioning stare, a little taken aback by her reaction as she admitted, “When you started saying all that nonsense… I thought you were making up some lame excuse to break up with me because you were tired of me.”

“I could never…” He whispered, drawing her close again as they rested forehead against forehead. “As long as you know what you signed up for…”

“Oh, I sure do.” Sharon replied with a grin. “You know me, I love deals and I pay attention to every condition in them.”

[anvthemaeyes]

Picture Perfect Pt. 1/?

Trigger(s): Self-Harm- will begin and end with [**]-

Later chapters will include mature/explicit content - Happy readings :)

Josh Dun X Reader

2.3K Words

Today had been a good day… but It was your last class of the day and your brain was absolutely sick of cramming in useless information. Since this was also your favorite class you pushed yourself to stay awake. As of this moment your mind was in another place not caring for anything until you heard your name called. “Ms.Y/N.... you will be working with Joshua on this assignment”  Your eyes scanned the room to find your teacher, then Joshua’s recognizable mess of red dyed hair. He looked at you wearing nothing but a friendly smile on his face. You were glad you could work with him this time around since he usually aced his photography projects . Although he seemed to be an anxious, fidgety boy on the outside you knew you could really find out a lot if you took time to talk to him. While juggling thoughts you began to plan parts of the project in your head until your teacher abruptly announced something. “I have assigned partners based on the limited knowledge I have about each of you from this year. Being things i've noticed about your personality or past projects. These are people i think you all will work well together. So let your creativity run wild with this final photo set and have fun.” She ended her sentence with a nod and a smile as she quietly walked back to her desk. You soon moved over next to Josh so you both could begin to brainstorm ideas, stting quite close to him so you could look at each other's ideas  “So i kind of wanted to make the theme for this kind of about space and like our hopes and dreams and stuff and our future and x-files themed stuff ...if that’s alright” His voice was soft but quick. You could tell he was a bit nervous. “That sounds like a great idea. Maybe we can work on some stuff after school since my parents are on a business trip.We’ll  be able to have the house to ourselves” You gave him a small grin to comfort him. He nodded and tore a small piece of paper from your notebook. “ Here’s my snapchat i guess. Just text me everything later. I’ll be out with Tyler and Jenna until around 5 so expect me then.” His voice was a little shaky. “Well Jenna actually invited me earlier so we’ll be  seeing each other again later actually.” The bell rang so you waved goodbye to Josh and headed out.

-

You walked home and changed into a simple gray crop top, black leggings, and jean jacket seeing that you were feeling a bit more confident than you had previous days, so you wanted to take advantage. As you were pulling on your jacket your phone lit up on your dresser, it lit up with a snap from Jenna

Jenna: So it looks like we’ve got a double date tonight

Y/N: Oh hush, I just met Josh and it's not like Taco Bell is anything special

Jenna: I’m not the person to be talking to. Taco Bell was Tyler’s choice and itll be fun.See u in 5 :)

You walked outside just in time to see Jenna pulling in. You opened the door to see her smiling like a kid in a candy store. “What could you possibly want?” I said in an overly sarcastic tone. “Josh is gonna appreciate that outfit, now won't he” she couldn’t help but laugh after she said that. “ Tell me again why i decided to be friends with you”

-

Jenna found a parking spot and both of you soon got out. When you got out of the car you heard Tyler yell. “ How’s my favorite girl!?” You turned on you heel to them running into each other's arms. “ They’re so dramatic, it's only been a couple hours since school.” Josh laughed as he looked at the two love birds.

-

. Everyone sat for a few minutes as you began to feel a bit unsettled“ Hey Jen, I’m gonna head to the bathroom alright.” she gave a concerned look “ Alright. We’ll be right over here.”.You headed to the bathroom and locked the door even though it probably wasn’t the best decision for a public restroom

**

. You looked in the mirror and watched yourself as you took the jacket off, staring at your wrists that were lined with scars and more recent cuts that you tried to avoid making. The constant fear that you would get worse than your current state and Jenna would find out haunted you so you never knew why you continued with the habit you abhorred so much. You and Tyler were her first priority,and when she found out Tyler wasn’t doing great you saw the pain in her eyes. You couldn't put her through something like that again. You proceeded to fix your makeup and wipe away the tears that fell, making sure you looked presentable so no one would suspect a thing.

**

You turned the deadbolt on the door and walked out with a smile, spotting Tyler and Jenna sitting together so you could only assume your spot was next to Josh. Tyler was the first to speak up. “So what are you guys doing for the photography project in Smith” You glanced at Josh. “ Well we decided we wanted to something based on ‘I Want To Believe’-” Tyler cut you off “ Of course Josh chose something from the X-Files.” He rolled his eyes. “ Well what i was going to say was that we wanted to something based on like space but also ‘wanting to believe’ in like your hopes and dreams” Josh said it with a happy tone. You could tell how excited he was.“That sounds sick...So, it sounds a bit cliche but Me and Jen are doing one based on love and trust” You and Josh simultaneously fake gagged.

-

“So my house i guess?” you said looking down at your phone as you sat down in josh’s car. The inside was very nice and you noticed that he had some drumsticks had been thrown in the back. Surprisingly, sparking even more of your interest in the boy “Yeah. We can just stop by my house so we can get my camera and all my fancy lenses.” The singular comment created a more silent ride that only contained the radio playing various old rock songs that you recognized alongside the rain pouring down outside. You stared out the window until the car stopped at a large house that had a minivan parked in the driveway. “ On 3 we’ll run inside. 1...2..3!” You opened the door quick and grabbed his hand so he could pull you inside where there was a strong smell of coffee.You waved sheepishly at the woman leaning on the counter.. You assumed it was his mom. “ Oh, hi honey. Who is this lovely lady you brought with you?” a small blush appeared on his cheeks “ This is Y/N, I’m going to go work on a big photography project with her. I’m also going to her house to work on it, if that’s alright.” “ Of course just be careful out there. I don’t want you guys catching a cold” Once she finished her sentence Josh ran up the stairs. You followed him into his room where you saw a large drumset in the corner along with various posters. “ Hey do you want another jacket. That one looks a bit wet.” You looked down to see that you were practically dripping. Without thinking you took off your jacket and set it on a nearby desk.

**

“Oh my god” Josh’s tone became extremely concerned and you looked at him and his eyes looked like he just got shot in the heart. You swallowed hard realizing what he was witnessing. You froze and didn’t think to cover up. “Why? Just like Tyler. Why? Every time I meet a good person” Those words came out of his mouth with a sincerity and his head fell in his hands, with that a thousand responses came to mind but all you could do was fall apart. You sat down in the chair behind you and your face was in the palms of your hands as Josh knelt in front of you. “ We don’t know each other well but all I can say is that things will get better. You just have to believe that they will. Don’t let anything bring you to this point...please” You looked up at him and his eyes met yours. You saw his look of desperation and you could see he cared.

**

“Here, put on this jacket and let’s head to your house we’ll talk there.” you pulled the baby pink hoodie over your head,he gave you a soft smile and you both headed downstairs. “ Hey. Mom. I might be staying over at Y/N’s. I’ll let you know later tonight.”

--

As you finished rolling into the driveway you led Josh into your house and immediately switched the heater on so the house could be a bit more cozy. “Do you want to order some pizza or something before we get started with all of this?” “Yeah, i’m fine with whatever you get.” You snatched your phone from the counter and called the nearest place for delivery making sure they didn’t have to drive far in the rain. “Y/N I want you to know that if you need me i’m here. I know what it's like and i can help. Y-You’re too.. beautiful to be doing anything like that” The room stayed silent for a few seconds. The void being filled with the sound of  your shoes stepping on the hardwood floor. You sat next to him and grabbed his hand. “It’s an extraordinary feeling knowing that I’m not alone.” Your eyes faltered between his eyes and the window. Finally settling into his innocent eyes, the edges beading with tears like that of earlier. Although this time, they were of joy knowing that he was helping someone find a purpose. The “moment” between the two of you was interrupted by the abnormally fast delivery man. Josh quickly rose to his feet and answered the door, handing the guy a $20 “Thanks man.Keep the change” Josh speed walked over so he could set the pizza down. “ i was holding the bottom of the box...it got hot.” His cheeks turned a light shade of crimson with awkwardness as he grabbed your TV remote and flipped on a movie. “So I have some stuff that we can use for backdrops and lighting in my room. I’ll set that stuff out later

-later that night-

“So go ahead and place that galaxy fabric down on the floor. Make sure its pulled tight so it doesn't have too many wrinkles. And then lay down.. Like that.. And hold the ukulele in your arms. Turn your head a bit so your glitter reflects and okay perfect i’ll take a few shots.. And noooow done with that shot.” Josh directed with ease as he sat on the top of the small ladder so he could get some overhead shots. The ideas spilled out of him with an ardent passion. The two of you both loved music and that is what helped with all of the ideas Josh was suggesting. You just went along with it, knowing that they would turn out beautifully alongside the other photos you and him had taken . “Hey you look a bit spaced out” Josh said as he laughed at his corny dad joke. You were glad to see he was becoming more comfortable around you. “Oh I’m fine. Getting cozy down here.” Josh assisted you in getting up as you both started looking through the pictures.”Crap! You need to call your mom it’s 7:00. You need to give her a heads up if you're staying over” “Oh you’re right, i'll be on your porch.” you sat alone in the dining room thinking. Something inside of you wasn’t right. You were beginning to fall for Josh and it was a fast fall. He was a sweet boy that had so much passion for life while also being so scared of it. He was just intriguing and you wanted more. To know more..to feel more. You snapped out of your dreamland when the door shut. “Good news! My mom says I can stay over. I just need to go grab some clothes and stuff for the night.” “Alright. I’m super excited.”

--

Josh walked in with a duffel bag and small tupperware in his hand. “Hey my mom made us some brownies for the night.” he said while dropping them on the counter. “Sweet but we need to get that last photo done. I thinks it’s the one of the both of us right?” he agreed “Yeah, good thing you kept your makeup on….. Oh i need to hang up the black sheet!” his feet thumped on the ground as he ran to the living room to get it along with some small thumbtacks. You held the sheet in place while he shoved the tacks into the wall. As you adjusted it he grabbed his snapback and a pair of drumsticks to tie together the whole ‘Space & Music’  concept.  You knew this photo would turn out the best but would undoubtedly be the most awkward. “Okay Josh so were going to want to face each other and press our foreheads together..” He turned his body to you and put his face to yours. “Yeah like that and now just close your eyes  with your sticks crossed” you gulped as the situation got a bit as it got more intimate for the two of you. You pressed the control for the camera and a string of flashes began going off “Y/N you’re a stunning girl, I’ve liked you since freshman year and i've fallen in love with you ever since.” He grabbed your chin and brought it to his face, lips pressing against yours. A smile appeared and you stopped the camera. His arms slowly made his way around you.