#please tell me if what I'm saying makes sense

[pasteldreams]

aftercare - c.s.

pairing: fwb!chris sturniolo x reader

summary: you teach your fuck buddy, chris, how to care for you after he rails you

cw: mentions of sex and bodily fluids (mdni), aftercare, pet names (baby, pretty girl, etc.), educational maybe?, fluff

word count: ~1.2k

you and chris had been "together" for a while. when you broke up with your ex 6 months ago, you missed his dick more than anything. fortunately, your friend, chris, offered up just what you needed. you two weren't technically dating, but everyone knew you were fucking each other and only each other. chris was great in bed, he knew exactly what to do to make your back arch and your fists grab the sheets. however, he didn't have nearly as much experience as you do. his lack of experience didn't seem to affect his performance much, but his aftercare skills were shit. and today was no different.

"fuck, you did so good for me baby," chris says in between heavy breaths. he slowly lowers himself to lay next to you as he gently brushes your hair off of your face, both of you sticky from a combination of bodily fluids.

all you could release was a soft hum in response as the blood pumping through your ears began to quiet. you attempt to open your eyes only for the exhaustion to drag your lids back down.

chris laughs, "damn, it was that good?" you could practically hear the smirk in his voice before he let out a soft laugh.

"i'll give you a minute to recover, pretty girl." he presses a soft kiss to your forehead before moving to check his phone on the night stand. after seeing his notifications, he begins rambling on about something sports-related, but you were still much too fucked out to comprehend any spoken language. once your senses returned to normal, your eyes fluttered open and you slowly turned towards chris, cringing as your lower body vibrated from even the small movement.

"guess what time it is," he grins laying against the pillow while facing you.

"what time is it, chris?" you ask trying to mask the discomfort.

"it's… CUDDLE TIME!" he yells suddenly before throwing himself on top of you, forcing you to lay on your back, and engulfing you in his arms.

you groan and attempt to push him off quickly receiving a pout in response.

"heyyy, what's wrong? why won't you cuddle with me?"

"dude… i literally have your cum dripping down my ass crack right now," you roll your eyes.

"oh," he pauses. "um. do you want me to get you a towel or something for that?"

"uh, yeah, that'd be nice," you say passive aggressively.

he doesn't respond as he quickly shuffles to the bathroom to grab a towel.

"do you want a big one or a small one?" he yells from the bathroom.

you sigh. "either is fine," you grumble just loud enough for him to hear.

he returns with a small towel.

"what's wrong baby?" he says as he climbs onto the bed putting the towel next to you.

"have you ever heard of aftercare?" you ask using the towel to soak up as much of the leaking fluid as you could, grimacing at the friction on the sensitive area.

“aftercare? like when a parent forgets to pick their kid up from school?" he jokes.

"no, chris… like for after sex," you state bluntly.

"no? am I supposed to know what it is?"

"do you wanna keep fucking me?"

he looks at you with surprised eyes not expecting that kind of question.

"of course I do, I mean─fuck─look at you," he gently slides his hand up your side as his eyes follow, taking in each inch of your skin on the way up.

"well, if you wanna keep fucking me, you need to learn how to take care of me after. you can't just fuck me the way that you do and expect me not to be in pain afterwards…"

"wait, you're in pain?" he furrows his brows in concern. "why didn't you tell me, angel? i can be more gentle whe-"

"no! fuck, no. i love the way you fuck me. please, don't be gentle. that's not what i want"

"so what d-"

"christopher, you can't learn if you don't let me talk."

"oh right, sorry, i'm listening," his expression turns serious suddenly.

"aw, what a good boy," you smirk teasing him.

"yeah, yeah, yeah, let's get on with this so I can keep fuckin' you, pretty girl."

"my pleasure," you grin. "first, you're usually pretty good with this one, but after you practically abuse me with your dick, i need you to tell me how good i was for you. because it's a lot of work taking you like i do, and i deserve the praise."

"you do deserve it princess. i can─no, i do do that. easy. next," he responds confidently.

"next, the towel. non-negotiable, and honestly, put it down before we even start 'cause once you pull out, sometimes even before that, it all just…"

"yeah, yeah, makes sense. i definitely should've thought about it when i was washing the sheets every single time we fucked," he admits sheepishly.

you laugh, "yeah, maybe."

"what else can I do for you, baby?" he cups your face with one of his warm hands, softly gliding his thumb across your cheekbone.

"now… i'm gonna need some help getting to the bathroom, 'cause i don't think i can even stand up on my own right now," you laugh softly, thinking about the less-than-natural positions chris had just put you in.

He laughs, smirking. "i really fucked you good today, huh?"

"just shut up and help me up."

“yes ma'am," he salutes jokingly before standing up and reaching his hands out to lift you out of bed and to the bathroom.

"you didn't have to carry me," you tell him.

"i know, but i like carrying you," he admits as he gently places you on your feet in the bathroom. once you're standing with the support of the counter, chris can't help but look you up and down.

"are you just gonna watch me piss or can i get a second by myself?" you tease him.

"oh shit, right, sorry. i'll be- um, i'll be out here," he says clearly flustered by your comment while backing out of the bathroom and closing the door.

You laugh, shaking your head.

After finishing in the restroom, you call chris's name softly.

"yes, baby?"

"can you help me get back to the room?" you giggle at your own sad state knowing it was partially your fault for begging chris to go harder.

he opens the door, quickly scooping you up and carrying back to the room.

"so, when do we get to cuddle?" he asks laying you down on the bed,

you roll your eyes playfully at him. "now, we can cuddle now, chris."

"fuck, finally, i've been waiting years to hold you," he exaggerates as he lays next to you, pulling your frame against his chest.

"chris, it was like 10 minutes."

"yeah, and I was going through withdrawal."

"you're so dramatic."

he nuzzles his head into your neck, releasing a content sigh. "you trust me to take care of you now? i can keep fucking you? please say yes."

You laugh. "yes, you can keep fucking me, on one condition."

"anything for you. what is it?"

"you promise to always cuddle me after."

"i promise to always cuddle you, whether we fucked or not."

a/n: love y/all and thanks for all the support! enjoy :)

🏷️ taglist: @y3sterdaysproblem @sofia-is-a-sturniolo-triplet-fan

reply/msg/inbox and ask to be added to the taglist!

cake divider by @dollywons, apple divider by @ithemes, and heart divider by @cafekitsune

[wesleyiszombieboy]

Is it weird for me to say that I think Will was getting bullied in Lenora too? I mean I know El was, but I feel like there is just no way Will wasn't getting bullied either. I know its wrong and hurtful to just assume someone is getting bullied, believe me I know, it just doesn't really make sense to me. As a kid who has been bullied by every one my whole life, I find it pretty easy to tell what type of kids would get bullied in school. And Will is definitely one of them. And even if he wasn't get bullied to his face like in Hawkins or how Angela treated El, maybe they talked about him? Like behind his back or something? I just feel like he would have definitely gotten bullied in Lenora if El was getting bullied, but I feel so weird saying it. Please tell me I'm not the only one.

[lbulldesigns]

Group Chat between Vi, Mylo, Claggor, and Ekko.

VistandsforVictory has created Chat titled "Pow Patrol"

LadyKiller: Pow Patrol? Seriously, Vi?

VistandsforVictory: Yep. We need to talk about this. Powder is trapped in Demacia, and we're all planning a party instead of rescuing her.

BotanyNerd: It's a charity event, not a party. And there's not much we can do in regards to Powder Vi, Demacia is in full lockdown it's near impossible for foreign dignitaries to enter the country, let alone a bunch of nobodies.

LadyKiller: Speak for yourself. I'm going places.

TheBoiSaviour: So you finally decided what your major is going to be?

LadyKiller: 🖕

BotanyNerd: You know the rules, Ekko.

TheBoiSaviour: Sorry.

VistandsforVictory: CAN WE STAY ON TRACK PLEASE?!

BotanyNerd: Okay Vi, say we hop on the first boat or airship to Demacia to ride to Pow Pows rescue. What's the plan gonna be?

VistandsforVictory: We find our sister and bring her home.

LadyKiller: Sounds straight forward enough.

BotanyNerd: Where do we begin looking? Where would we, foreigners who have never visited the country before, start looking that the Demacian local law enforcement haven't?

TheBoiSaviour: There's also the whole "kidnapped royalty" to factor in, we don't know if in our search to find Pow we'd unwittingly draw the people she's staying out of sight of to her. And given Demacia's arrest first policy, I don't think she'd be given a fair trial before being sentenced.

LadyKiller: Also, Silco is handling finding her. He will keep us updated.

VistandsforVictory: Oh, right. Because he's done a fine job finding her and bringing her home so far.

TheBoiSaviour: He can't exactly hog tie her and bring her back Vi. That would be considered kidnapping. Also, Powder would be pissed.

VistandsforVictory: But safe.

BotanyNerd: Vi your not going to Demacia. One, Demacia is on lockdown, and their arresting anyone and everyone they consider suspicious or dangerous. Two, if your search to rescue Pow results in both of you being arrested, there would be little we could do to get you back and then we would all be pulling our hair out worrying about the two of you. And three, Dad really needs us here right now helping him with the pub, the event, and Isha.

VistandsforVictory: Don't tell me what you do! And the kid has nothing to do with any of this.

BotanyNerd: At some point Vi, you're going to have to actually acknowledge Isha's existence. She's our little sister.

VistandsforVictory: Powder's our little sister too!

LadyKiller: Vi have you been drinking?

VistandsforVictory: NO!!!

LadyKiller: Had to ask, because your making FUCK ALL SENSE!!

TheBoiSaviour: Okay, okay. Stop! This is getting out of hand. Mylo, you mean well but you really need to learn tact man. Vi, you need to understand that Isha isn't replacing Pow and Pow wouldn't view her as a replacement. I really think you need to speak to your therapist about this. Also I really, really don't think Pow would appreciate you running to her rescue.

BotanyNerd: That's it I'm bringing in Silco and Dad.

VistandsforVictory: Wait!!!

BotanyNerd invited TheEyeofZaun and WolfDaddy

WolfDaddy: Hello

LadyKiller: Why is your username WolfDaddy?

WolfDaddy: Powder made my profile for me, she said that it was factually correct whilst being anonymous. Now what's going on? Is this about Powder?

@lullabyes22-blog

[disobey-disappoint-deviate]

Ok, but you know what I noticed?

The meaning of "deviating" kinda switches a little when it comes to Connor.

With both Kara and Markus, deviating is portrayed as 'making the decision to obey or disobey their orders'; in a way, deviating is basically developping a free will regardless of what the android chooses to do with it after. That means that Kara can still stay in that spot and not move, and Markus can still decide to listen to Carl and not defend himself against Leo after they become deviants.

So why can't Connor deviate and still decide to obey and finish his mission by capturing Markus? It's not... impossible for a living being with a free will to make a fucked up decision. It's not impossible for a brainwashed individual to turn against their own people.

Of course, it doesn't make that much sense to deviate if he doesn't wanna disobey, but it doesn't for Markus either, imo. I admit that it's a 50/50 with Kara as she can deviate and still "decide" to obey Todd only if you don't do anything which is just the default and not an actual action by the player.

But Markus does feel like he is being treated unfairly by Leo and Carl, he feels it's too much and that he needs to decide for himself how to react, so him enduring being pushed around after deviating doesn't necessarily make a lot more sense than Connor deviating and still capturing Markus.

Maybe Markus decides to endure because he sees that Carl is suffering a heart attack and misjudges the situation by believing that defending himself is more likely to lead to Carl's death because it would stress the man out. That's a valid response.

On the other hand, it would also be valid for Connor to try to capture Markus after deviating if he believes that's the better choice - Jericho is about to be attacked, and he already told Hank that he believes the deviant uprising will cause chaos. And moreover, Connor went there looking for answers and for "himself", as Lucy says. There is enough conflict in him to make him deviate just so he can know for sure who he is and where he wants to stand, without actually abandoning his mission before he finds these answers. He basically tells Hank he will find out whether or not they are on the wrong side before he leaves for Jericho and deviates - he is already torn before meeting Markus.

You know what I'm saying? The whole "become a deviant" vs. "remain a machine" dialog before the red walls could have just been replaced by an alternative dialog, which could appear after he breaks the red walls and goes like "join Markus" vs. "stay loyal to Cyberlife".

Ultimately, I don't know if that would have been better, tbh, but it would have been more consistent. The way it is now feels like with Kara and Markus, deviating means "making the conscious decision to obey or disobey", but with Connor, deviating suddenly means just "disobey".

And must deviants be good people? Must they be on the right side if it benefits them more to be on the wrong side? If they are anything like humans, at least 10% of them would have betrayed Markus, hoping to get immunity from Cyberlife (ofc it would have backfired, but well, that's anothet topic).

Anyway, please, feel free to discuss and prove me wrong, I don't claim to have understood everything about the game yet :D And I love discussions!

[nightlyrequiem]

miss requiem please please with a cherry on top make detective reader part 2?!?!???!?

Of course of course! For some reason this was so hard for me to write??? I don't know if I like how it turned out. Alikeness 1 and 2 will probably be getting a rewrite in the future...

First Part

Tags/Warnings: WLW, Gun Violence, Murder, Mild Violence

Alikeness II

"You and I are alike." 

Valeria's words leave you uneasy and disturbed. You should turn her in. You know her identity. But for some reason you just can't bring yourself to make it common knowledge. You tell yourself it's because she wouldn't face proper punishment through the legal system. Money talks.

Yes. That is why you can't tell anyone. You're immune to corruption. An archangel sent to cleanse this Earth of evil. The blood of the tainted only purifies you. Your only interaction with Valeria shook you. You stayed away. Only for the time being. Focusing your efforts on others that need exterminating. Bad people you can't prove are bad in the eyes of the law, but you know. You always know. It's a sixth sense. 

You stare down at the plastic wrapped body of a corrupt politician. Valeria's words ringing in your ears as you fill his grave with dirt. He was taking bribes from the cartel. He was actively trying to take away the rights of other people because of his greed and hatred. The plastic around his mouth slowly rises and falls. You had to do this.

You've been given a new case at work. They're looking for the person responsible for the murders of previous cases. They're looking for you. You're forced to stay silent while your collogues unknowingly call you all kinds of names. You're disheartened to hear that the general public thinks of you as a monster. You make them afraid.

You stay in late, acting as though you're looking into the murders of the previous cases when really, you're plotting your next move on Valeria. It's not safe at home anymore. You're too paranoid about her bugging your house. Even your office is starting to feel unsafe. During the day you eye your coworkers with distrust. One of them could very likely be working with Valeria.

You keep your head pressed to the wall. Eyes shut tightly so you can think.

'You and I are alike.'

Begrudgingly, you accept that the statement is true to an extent. Two sides of the same coin but where you are capable of doing bad things for good, she does bad things for selfish gain. You slowly move away from the wall. You can use that to your advantage. Think like Valeria to kill Valeria.

You're shoved to the ground with the barrel of a gun pressed to the back of your head. Valeria looks down at you with a blank expression.

"You were right." You say, looking up at her. The low lighting is giving you a headache.

"About?" Valeria raises a brow.

"Me. Us." You reply. "I'm too good for what I do and I am not appreciated. Why should I expend my energy fighting for people who think I'm a monster?"

Valeria stares you contemplatively. A glint in her eyes.

"Yes, why should you?" She hums. Valeria slowly walks towards you and crouches down to eye level.

"You told me to find you when I was ready to accept that." You say. Disturbed at the small part of you that's tempted to believe it.

You didn't get to work with her at first. Valeria is a distrustful person and for two weeks she kept you locked in a cage. Only after she began to let her guard down did she let you out. You started work guarding shipments. Feeling disgusted at how you were helping her. But you took your job seriously, even if you didn't agree with the tasks you were given, you still took it seriously. Telling yourself it's a necessary evil.

You pace the dock. Watching the dock workers sign off on the cargo and taking the bribe to keep quiet about it. A shot rings out and the worker falls to his knees. You and your companions dive for cover. Alarmed by the sudden and unexpected bullets flying through the air. Your only thought is to protect the cargo. Keep the cargo safe. Leaping up you make a run for the ship. Something wizzes past your face and slices your cheek. Warm blood trickles from the cut. Bullets rain behind you as you climb aboard. 

You swiftly run to the cargo hold. Pulling out your gun you sit silently. Waiting. Careful footsteps sound in the hall. Heavy combat boots against the floor. Your grip on your gun tightens. A man decked out in riot gear enters, rifle slowly panning over the room. You crouch low, hiding behind a large barrel.

You move out of sight. Keeping to the shadows. The man nudges the lid of another barrel, shining his light inside. Is he seeing alcohol or bags of cocaine? You sneak up behind you and cock your gun. The noise alerts the man, and he promptly swivels to face you, rifle pointed at your chest. He stiffens and says your name. You recognize his voice. You worked with him before. Familiarity means nothing to you. He lowers his weapon, but you keep yours pointed at him.

"Are you okay?" He asks. "You've been missing for weeks, we thought the cartel got you."

"It did." You say. Feeling a little regretful.

"... I'm going to get you out of here, okay?" He says softly, like he's trying to soothe a child.

You back up.

"One of us will be getting out of here, yes, but it won't be you." You reply.

"What are you talking about?" He says, his voice hardening. "Whatever they have over you, if you're scared, it doesn't matter, we can get you into a witness protection program."

You frown. "I can't let you leave because you will jeopardize the cartel and this shipment." You say. Something unpleasant crawls down your spine at the realization that you mean those words.

The man tightens his grip on his gun.

"You're here... willingly?" He asks hesitantly, sounding disappointed.

You remain stony faced. "I am." You nod.

He raises his gun, aiming for your chest. "Then I'm going to have to ask you to put your gun down and put your hands behind your head."

You slowly lower your gun and raise your hands, staring straight as him as you do so.

He circles around you and comes up from behind. You can hear his laboured breathing behind his mask. His gloved hand brushes your wrist and you swivel, grabbing his gun. He pulls the trigger, the shot sounding too loud in the cramped cargo hold. You hiss and wrench it away, stumbling. The force pushes him down and before he can stand and make himself an even bigger threat you fire into his chest blindly. Emptying the clip.

You realize that you're shaking. Your shoulders drop as you stare at what you've done. Shame and rationalization warring in your head. Hurried footsteps head towards the cargo hold and you hope it's not more of them. They stop and you feel the presence of people. You don't bother turning because whatever will happen, will happen.

"You protected the shipment." Valeria says. Sounding a little surprised. You were supposed to kill her. That was the whole point of seeking her out to join her cartel. Instead, you shot one of your own.

"That's what I'm supposed to do." You murmur. He isn't moving anymore. Are his eyes open or closed behind the helmet?

Valeria mutters something to the people beside her and they leave. She walks forward and puts her hands on your shoulders. Her face next to yours.

"I'm proud of you." She says. "Not everyone is capable of doing the right thing."

Her words comfort you somewhat. You wish it were her lying there instead. "hm."

"Your foot is bleeding." she tells you, grabbing you by the arm to lead you out of that room. "I'll patch that up for you."

[numberonetacostan]

I went through an overthinking train and realized more tacomic stuff (please share you thoughts I am insane rn)

and she finishes with a ''not neccessarily teamwork prevails.'' she picked up mic was probably seeking out for reassurance but she didn't understood what she wanted reassurance on, like she definitely looked at her like that because she picked up mic was being oddly...'pushy' about getting her to promise her this. And I assume with her understanding of mic she comprehended she needed reassurance even if she didn't know for what

this part especially kills me because THIS is the moment of realization she has that mic is seeking out for some reassurance, maybe she interpreted as ''she is scared or at least nervous for what will happen, but its okay we are together she doesn't have to be''

I think that's why she said ''teamwork prevails'' I feel she may have interpreted it as mic maybe also being scared? or perhaps nervous about going into the ship in the first place or what could happen if taco used violence but taco reassures her and it feels like a way to say its okay I'm here nothing bad will happen to us (lets remember they thought this was cobs.) she probably understood this as mic being afraid of what could happen if taco uses violence against him and so that's why she doesn't promise anything like nah its okay we can take him together teamwork prevails above all. She was basically telling her she'll protect her. And hey maybe I am overthinking but it makes the line ''teamwork prevails'' make a lot more of sense, she wasn't saying it because, she was saying it because she misunderstood what mic wanted. She thought mic was perhaps nervous or scared and so she reassured her for another thing, tacomic fallout really is just a bunch of misunderstandings mixed with miscommunication that didn't end up well.

Hi Kiara!!!^^ Welcome back, and thank you for sending in some analysis!!!! :) I just watched the episode back, so let's get analysing!!

It's important to also factor the events of the scene prior to their conversation in which they finish the rocket and Test Tube takes off!! All the remaining contestants worked together to make it, and it feels good!! Mic feels happy after they've finished working, and even gives it a little "huh", because that's not really how she feels after working on one of Taco's plans. She feels bad about hurting other people when she works with Taco for her own benefit, but here she worked with everyone to help someone else. With the doubts Knife already planted in her head about Taco's intentions, Mic really does desperately want reassurance from Taco! That she's not being strung along, that Taco won't make her do things she's not willing to do, that she can work with Taco and get that same sense of belonging and accomplishment.

Taco does seem to pick up on Mic being unusually firm with her about not being violent, a precursor to Mic cutting things off, and she does put her gun away in this moment, even if she rolls her eyes about doing so. But Taco isn't picking up on why Mic is being firm. She doesn't realize that Knife has gotten in Mic's head, nor does she realize how her plans and their partnership as a whole have been weighing on Mic. Taco thinks they're on the same page, and that what Mic wants is to win. And she tries to give Mic that!! She tries to give Mic victory, and recognition in the same way she had wanted, but in doing so she proved in Mic's eyes that she was just using her and didn't actually care about what Mic wanted at all.

"Teamwork prevails" is so very much because it's Taco's way of saying, in a way, that they're partners. That she's not going to abandon Mic, that she sees her as an equal, because they're a team. But the thing is, Taco is more focused on the prevailing part of that, while Mic is focused (and wants Taco to be focused on) the teamwork part. Tacomic fallout really is so based on misunderstandings and miscommunication. I don't think we will, but in whatever ii content they're making next I hope we get to see the following conversations that Mic and Taco are going to have about this incident, in which they can really clear things up because they understand each other's intent. Taco didn't get to give Mic a longer apology due to the... events of that day, but I think she'll end up giving a longer one after one of these talks. Maybe pull a feelings letter out of her shell to give to Mic to help her explain her thoughts and feelings without need to be verbalizing them in the moment? (<- projecting)

[And no worries abt the small text!!^^]

[radicalrascals]

Nick shakes his head slowly, the slight frown yielding a smile. "You don't have to tell me, because I know. You show me every day." He takes a deep breath, trying to replay the scene in his head. It doesn't make sense and yet it does. A little uncomfortably so, but eventually he chuckles, if purely to express his disbelief, not because the two people he loved acting like assholes was suddenly funny to him.

"I'm pretty sure Rafa didn't want you to defend yourself either." He quickly raises his hand as to stop Hari from adding his tuppence, because one thing Nick needs to make clear: "It wasn't fair. He has no right to test you. And while I think it's..." he swallows any and all negative adjectives that come to mind and just shakes his head for a place holder instead, "It probably made sense in Rafa's weird brain and he didn't mean ill, even if he was being exceptionally... provocative..." The last word is almost whispered. Realisation hits and Nick bites his lower lip, frown back in place. "I know you wanted to leave and I'm not going to stop you, if you still want to. But if you're still here when I get back, that'd be nice. I just need to...", he picks up his half-smoked rollie and wiggles it about, before he gets up and places a brief kiss on Hari's hair.

Outside, Rafael's fingernails dig into his palm but he keeps himself firmly locked in place, not giving into the desire to pace and throw his arms around in wild gestures while trying to explain himself. He has a thousand things on the tip of his tongue but he swallows them all, for they were knives rather than shields. Eventually he just settles on an almost too neutral elucidation for someone so clearly passionate and governed by emotions: "The question was if he would break Nico's heart, not if his wife would. And if someone would ask me if I would cheat on you and they would name all the women I'm friends with, my colleagues, everyone I ever dated and, yes, my ex-wife included, I would still say 'no, I would not cheat on you and I have no romantic feelings for any of these people mentioned.' This has never been an attack towards his ex-wife nor him having an ex-wife in the first place." And he looks the other way before he gives in to a 'but you keep making it into something I never said.'

Still he mutters: "And I don't hate him."

"Good. I would still love him if you did," Nick could see Rafa being taken aback by Nick's sudden appearance, so he uses the brief moment of his older brother trying to wrap his head around the new situation to walk up to him and wrap his arms around him: "Cê não precisa esconder que tá magoado."

"I'm not."

"Tisha, can you please punch my brother in the shoulder. I'd do it myself but I don't feel like driving anyone to the hospital tonight." He lets go of Rafael and lights his smoke and finally, finally gets to enjoy it. "You don't give people a chance to treat you right, Rafa, and you think I'm the same. But I actually say if something bothers me. And you know what? Hari listens. And he can accept a no. But you think you gotta save everyone and be a martyr in the process. That's hurting people too, you know?! And I bet Tisha and I could tell you for hours and days how wonderful Hari is, but I want you to go back inside and see for yourself. And this time, when you apologise, make it sound less estúpido, yeah? And can you also try to forgive him too? Tisha, did I forget something?"

“He was… he told me that if I broke your heart with anyone, my ex or whoever, there would be consequences.” Hari sighs. “And I told him that if he ever talked about the mother of my children that way again, I would punch him in the mouth.” He’s really not sure what sounds worse in hindsight, the threat or the defence. “In the moment, all I was thinking was… fuck this, she’s not here to defend herself, she’s engaged - fine, he hates me, but why is he dragging her through the mud too?” He explains, slow shake of his head like he’s chiding himself instead of relaying the information.

“I’ve always been better at defending other people than myself. But he wanted me to defend this, us, not… I could have handled it better, in a few ways. And I will apologize to him, when he and Tisha are done out there.” But something else sticks in his mind, something Nick said before he asked- “But you are the person I wanted to say all that to. About... what you mean to me. At least, the first person. It’s too important to say it in an argument, to prove something to your brother. I had to say it to you.”

Tisha chews on the inside of her cheek for a moment, trying to collect her thoughts. "No, you shouldn't have. You would have reacted just as badly if Hari brought up your ex wife, whether he was looking out for me or not. And I would be just as mad at him for implying that you'd break my heart by going back to her." Is what finally comes out, as if this reframing will make a difference. "And I would want you to defend her, if you felt her character was being questioned. Snowden… Nobody here is anybody’s first love. Singling out Hari for being divorced is hypocritical and you know that. His youngest is ten years old, his ex is going to be in his life for a while.”

I am not the first person you loved. You are not the first person I looked at with a mouthful of forevers. It’s not the time for poetry, but it flares into her mind anyway. “You two probably would have liked each other if you spent tonight getting to know each other instead of looking for reasons not to. And now Nick has to decide if he can be with someone that his big brother hates, and that fucking sucks."

[lost-romantique]

Blitz- Sex, Love, and Stolas

In order to understand how Blitz has romantic feelings for Stolas, you have to understand Blitz's complicated relationship with sex in general.

Sex is a weapon

Sex is a tool

Sex is enjoyable and pleasurable

Sex is something he can get lost in when things are tough, and he doesn't want to be alone

Sex is a means of getting what he wants

Sex is what he's good at

Sex is one of the only things he finds value in himself in

Sex is a way he can get his feelings out

Sex is the only way he knows how to show love

Unlike Stolas, who fell for Blitz almost instantly and saw sex with him as a way of being close with him. Blitz isn't like that.

Yes, Blitz can automatically find someone sexually attractive, but finding someone sexually attractive isn't the same as falling in love with them.

For Blitz, it takes time for him to fall in love with people. It doesn't come easy to him because, for Blitz falling in love with someone is the same as showing weakness, and Blitz doesn't do weakness.

Blitz puts on this mask of bravado because he uses it as a defense mechanism to keep people at arm's length. For Blitz, he's had this mask on for so goddamn long that it just comes natural to him, it's the same as breathing.

As a result, sex in a way, became one of Blitz's only ways of getting his emotions out, without the need to talk and communicate his feelings. Blitz can't talk his feelings out because that's scary, but he knows how to fuck people, so he uses sex to show he cares.

That's why Blitz sought comfort in the 'transactional fucking' he had with Stolas because it was a way for him to be close with Stolas, and be in a relationship, BUT it was also an excuse Blitz could use to keep Stolas at arm's length.

Because of the nature of their relationship, Stolas ended up becoming one of Blitz's longer lasting relationships. And that is how Blitz was able to slowly, and subconsciously develop actual romantic feelings for him.

Through sex with Stolas, through the complicated nature of their relationship, Blitz was able to delude himself and get lost into his very own fantasy where he could have one thing he truly wants, but he doesn't think he deserves: a 'boring as fuck monogamy'.

[cursedwerewolf]

so the thing about whelk and cars is that whelk constantly talks about his cars but we never actually learn what they look like. we don't know anything about the car he had before his fall from grace other than that he misses it and we know nothing about his current car other than that he thinks it's shitty. and we can extrapolate a lot of things about his character from that, but we're still denied access to any more concrete information about them. to me, this implies that whelk isn't really much of a person anymore. almost every character in trc who owns a car is introduced to us in tandem with their car and we usually learn more about them through their car. for example, we learn some things about gansey through the random stuff lying around in his backseat. and even if that's not the case, we can at least tell a bit about them through the brand of car they drive, like declan driving a volvo. but not whelk. whelk's first appearance is literally him driving past gansey, ronan and adam by the side of the road, but his car is just described as that, a car. it's almost like a part of him is obscured to us. i'd even go as far as to say whelk having a vague, unspecified car means that there is nothing beyond what we see in him - at least nothing the narrative deems worthy looking at. whelk is just a shell of a man, and the fact that we never get to see his car emphasises that perfectly

[nikolas-ghostbusters-fixation]

Something I've been thinking a lot about lately is how everyone thought Egon had gone insane. What Happened that made them think that. They've fought a gigantic Stay Puft Marshmellow Man TWICE (counting the 2009 video game because iirc it's canon? Correct me if I'm wrong), fought an interdimensional god, fought a blood thirsty ruler that killed thousands and was hated by all that was trapped in a painting (and managed to get in to beat him by making THE STATUE OF LIBERTY start walking down the street with slime that reacted purely based on vibes), found an underground abandoned transit system full of the moodslime, had a bathtub try to eat Dana and her baby, fought a giant murderous black widow lady, fought the fisherman ghost who turned an entire hotel floor into the bottom of a ocean, and that's not even mentioning them getting trapped on an island that randomly raised up from underwater that had been abandoned for decades created by Ivor Shandor who worshipped Gozer. So what did he do or say that made everyone else think he'd gone insane?? All I can think is maybe he was acting strange / eratic before, but he's always been like that to some degree.

I don't know. It's something that I've been thinking about. The correct answer is 'it's not that deep and they needed a reason that the others weren't together anymore and weren't aware of Egons death or know what was going on,' but also. What Was He Saying that prompted everyone, including Ray, to think he lost his mind when he'd been right almost every time before that.

I'm genuinely so curious as to what he was up to before this. What was he doing. What insane idea was working on prior to this or was he even working on anything at all??

Also want to clarify this post isn't negative 😭 I really love the newer movies and their lore / the newer storyline / characters, I just like thinking about small stupid things like this. Gives me something to think about / speculate about / figure out an answer to.

[dirty-bear-rick-sanchez]

I know this is probably a rhetorical question but I wanted to break down every interaction they've had in the show so I'm going to take this as an excuse to do it xD

Although I've rewatched and analysed these scenes for this, I haven't done a complete rewatch with this in mind so I can't guarantee that I won't have missed stuff. If anyone notices anything I've missed please feel free to add it!

Their first direct interaction is Morty saying he’ll forgive her for abandoning them if she lets him fly her ship (to which she agrees saying that she was just going to give him space cigarettes) in Star Mort Rickturn of the Jerri. This reminds me of the way Morty sometimes manipulates Rick to get things (e.g. to take Jerry on an adventure, to let him pick the adventure, to make him the video game style place saving device, to get Rick to buy him the sex robot), which makes sense since Space Beth 'cosplay[s] as [her] shitty father in his 30s'. Morty tends to be more honest/direct with Home Beth, even when he's upset with her (e.g. in A Rickconvenient Mort). It's also interesting that he went straight for the abandonment thing since he knows that had such a big impact on Beth. I wonder if he does have some negative feelings towards her for leaving? After all, he did witness Home Beth telling Rick that she relates to her family and not to Space Beth since Space Beth abandoned them all. He might be angry on Home Beth's behalf the same way he was in The Wedding Squanchers.

This one is more about Rick and Space Beth but Morty does join in on the argument about her trying to talk to them/use a good line in Solaricks. I can't think of an equivalent time he's done this with Home Beth, but he has similar reactions to Xenon Bloom, Jerry, and Rick when they make jokes in times of crisis. Also, I never noticed his thumbs down before but it's killing me lmao. It's one of those subtle moments of Morty's intelligence - he knows that Space Beth can't hear them so gives her an obvious visual signal, whereas Rick continues to try and speak. Of course, they both attempt to speak to her afterwards, but they are both dumbasses after all (affectionate). Can't win 'em all.

Interestingly, both Beths say Morty’s name and hug him when he and Rick return from the Prime dimension - there’s no real difference between their reactions. Home Beth seems more... surprised? Sheepish? Maybe because of her jealousy surrounding Summer's admiration of Space Beth she wasn't expecting Morty to hug her as well? I'm not sure exactly what emotion Space Beth's face means here. Maybe she's proud of him? Either way, she obviously does still love him and was worried about him.

In Bethic Twinstinct, Space Beth tells Morty ‘back off, little man’ when he says that she and Home Beth need to tell Jerry about their relationship. He's the only one who tells them directly what to do (Rick tells them to go ahead but that everyone knows and Summer just says that Jerry is oblivious), so that could be why, but I still find it interesting that she targets him specifically. Space Beth hasn't had a lot of the development Home Beth has with Morty but the most prominent example that comes to mind is A Rickconvenient Mort. That episode was not only a big moment for Home Beth trying to protect Morty and actually being there for him at the end, but it also showed her that Morty does know more than she gives him credit for about how people perceive him specifically. Morty's other outburst to Beth in The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy is about how Beth's actions affect Summer and we do see a marked difference in how Space Beth treats Summer and Morty. Space Beth realised that Summer's feelings matter and that she's not just a hormonal/irrational teenager, but she never had that moment with Morty, which makes sense with her patronising tone with him here. Since Beth blamed Diane for driving Rick away and got pregnant as a teenager, I can see why she would view teenagers as irrational/their feelings not really mattering. After all, she comes to understand both Diane and Rick's actions/choices a lot more in the series, and becoming a parent so young has been very hard on her. However, Home Beth has not only chosen the kids and Jerry, but is going to therapy, so she has a different view on this to Space Beth, who can just blame her teenage mistakes on her past self rather than her current self.

Space Beth is present in the Time and Tide montage in Fear No Mort but she’s more enthusiastic about Summer’s wedding and more restrained with him going to college (whereas Home Beth hugs him). I find it interesting that Space Beth and Jerry are grouped together in the graduation scene - they're both standing to the side while Home Beth and Summer hug Morty and join him in the photo. This does make sense when you consider that Jerry and pre-S4 Beth were most responsible for letting Rick hurt Morty, whereas Home Beth is putting in more effort now. Morty is also very protective of Summer and Beth in S1-S3 in particular so I wonder if they appreciate this and feel closer to him than Jerry and Space Beth do? I can't think of a time where Morty has been protective of Jerry specifically, and Space Beth is not only a lot more assertive but probably hasn't considered/realised how much Morty cares for his family and therefore doesn't appreciate it in the way that Summer and Home Beth do. This one is interesting since it's inside Morty's mind so it gives us a good idea of how Morty expects his parents to act. He knows that Jerry and Space Beth would be there physically, but lack an emotional connection.

I know we didn't see them interact onscreen but Space Beth did get Morty the Pooplickian Gamepod. It could've been a gift for both him and Summer, but it’s only Morty who’s present as he’s setting it up in the intro. Also, while Summer does join Rick and Morty while they're playing it before she starts using it as an escape, she's much more critical and disinterested. Even if it was intended as a joint present, it's definitely more up Morty's street and Space Beth would've known that.

Space Beth is also the one who says ‘bored of your toy already?’ when Morty and Rickbot return to the living room after they left with the light sabre. She is being patronising again, but it does show her understanding of Morty's interests - she's surprised that he would spend so little time with his new light sabre.

This isn't an interaction, but I find it interesting that Morty specifies that he and Summer have 'two badass moms now'. Even after everything, he still loves his mom - no matter which version of her. This reminds me of him telling Ethan that Beth is a good mom in The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy. He really does look up to Beth.

There's not a great deal to analyse about this line but it is a direct interaction between the two of them so I thought I should include it. Again, we have the framing of Jerry and Space Beth together and Summer, Morty and Home Beth together. In this scene, it matches their attitudes - while Space Beth and Jerry take an interest in the events, they're much more detached emotionally from the situation. Everyone else is standing while they remain sitting, showing a lack if care or urgency.

In conclusion, Morty loves Space Beth and thinks she's cool, but she still views him as a child and is emotionally distant, and he's aware of this. She also has a much more obvious favourite child, as we saw in Morty's Mindblowers, whereas Home Beth doesn't show as much favouritism. In many ways, Space Beth is S1-S3 Beth, whereas Home Beth is S4-present. However, that's not true, they're both S1-S3 Beth, and I wonder if Morty would find that fact hard to reconcile? With Rick, it's much more obvious that he is both the good and the bad moments/parts of himself since it's just him. With the two Beths, you can almost convince yourself that they couldn't have become the other. I wonder if it would hurt Morty to spend more time with Space Beth and be reminded of how his mom used to be, how she still is sometimes. Would he appreciate Home Beth's efforts more? Would he begin to resent Space Beth for not doing the same?

I would love a Space Beth and Morty episode. I think Home Beth is generally still very oblivious to what Morty goes through (look how shocked she is in The Jerrick Trap that Morty is selling drugs). However, Space Beth has spent enough time out in the galaxy that she must have a better grasp on the sorts of adventures Rick is taking Morty on. I also feel like she has a lot more resentment towards Rick, or at least is a lot more guarded towards him than Home Beth is, so it would be an interesting way to explore Morty’s feelings towards Rick to have them both angry at him - especially if Morty does run away. We’d also get to see more of Space Beth’s development and feelings towards Morty, which I think would be something cool to explore.

We could even have a conflict between the Beths where Home Beth is angry at Space Beth for taking Morty somewhere dangerous or letting him do something inappropriate but Space Beth points out that he does it (and much worse) all the time with Rick.

Honestly though, I mainly just want to see Morty and Space Beth having a cool adventure.

[starfilledsky2810]

damn I yap a lot

tldr; im alive, sadly im still on hiatus, other stuff is fine now I just have new [physical] problems, you'll know when I'm fully back (give it another couple months) and comfortable, I'm in a [technically well-over] 3-month long ongoing depressive episode [not tryna do trauma olympics or make anyone feel bad btw it's all chill]

so sorry if I've left you hanging [with art or smth], I'll get to it in time, I promise [I may have unwillingly forgotten, likely not but there's a chance]

Hey, I'm alive, I have been for the.. almost 6 months I've been gone. Holy shit, I didn't even realise that it's been that long. I figured I should at least say something in case anyone is worried or wondering even though everything isn't solved yet, so, here. [under the read more so it's not flooding or anything]

Also, I figure I should apologise for venting on main and just leaving it up - this is all going to stay up because I need to keep it somewhere to aid with my memory issues - but, still, must've been a little weird

Absolutely not a good time to say all this [for me bc I haven't thought this message through] but I'm kinda half-back, just on hiatus from socials due to declining physical health. Really badly declining, I need help honestly

Originally, as you know, I was gone because I had a really bad fall out with my mother, but things pertaining to that have been solved now [except me not feeling 100% safe and trusting to my mother, that will never change. She's tried hard, I just wish I could find her reliable emotionally as well]. It's just that, since then, basically, all these physical problems that I don't understand have been royally fucking me up and messing with my mental too. It's messed with everything I love. I don't know what to do anymore.

Oh wait, where I was actually going with this, so

OK nvm I forgot but you'll see me around bc I've been talking to certain people trying to pretend like nothing's happened and I've made the kinda-silly decision to not fully come off hiatus or talk to other certain people before I'm okay again.

[longagoitwastuesday]

I have learnt things about Geto that I wish I could unlearn

[buddiesmutslut]

BEARDS ARE FLAMMABLE BUT BUCK IS A FIREFIGHTER.

OKay okay okay wait, I have a thought. Walk with me, bc -

Beards (as a gay man, using female partners to hide your queerness, "a disguise") are flammable (hello 7x10 finale, Eddie's life going up in flames as his son and girlfriend of several months walks in on him and Kim and then Chris moves away to Texas and doesn't talk to him for months), but Buck is a firefighter (when Eddie's life is in shambles, Buck is there to help. Wife just died and parents pressuring you about moving back to Texas at your shield ceremony? Buck will make his sister cut his pants up and hobble his ass down to the station despite the fact that he should resting. Get really traumatizing news and have a breakdown and scare your child and wreck your room? Buck comes running and looks after Chris and takes care of you and helps fix the mess you made. Life blown up bc your child caught you with your dead wife's (possibly clinically insane?) doppelganger and then calls his grandparents at 2am to take him back to Texas for God knows how long? Buck is there to try and convince him not to go, and then to hand the bag over and stand by your side when he can't.)

Buck is always in the room and beards may leave your life in ruins but he's always there to beat the flames back and help put the pieces back together.

[nuppu-nuppu]

I don't understand how other girls girl so hard and are so pretty and such girlies and everytime I try I feel like a man in a dress

[sysig]

The brainworms are winning, clearly (Patreon)