#please talk to me about avar

[emeraldvsociety]

Finished every THR Adult Novel, and I’m devastated 🥲

Spoilers for all current THR Adult Novels and The Battle of Jedha & The Tempest Breaker because I have to get my THOUGHTS out.

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Note: My reading order was weird since I was reading with a friend, and she was abroad for a hot second. We read TotJ together, and then I got impatient and jumped into Phase 2 to wait for her. LEAVE ME ALONE IT MADE SENSE AT THE TIME. I obviously don't recommend skipping Phase 2, but it was not detrimental to my reading experience.

TOTJ: This book was masterful. I love, and I mean I LOVE Avar Kriss. The Great Disaster Sequence was incredible, and I think Mr. Soule really did an excellent job of cinematically introducing this universe and setting up the Jedi in their prime. I just WOW the way Avar handled it, the sacrifice everyone went through to protect Hetzal. However, if I’m being honest I kind of forgot the rest of the book. I did a recent reread, and, my HEART, Avar loved Elzar from the start and he just had to go and fuck it up.

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TRS: I did not like this book despite everyone raving about it. My friend and I both have the consensus that Elzar is just very problematic, but not like in the way that he IS, but in the way that he isn’t. He can be a very inactive character, and when he is being active, he often makes the wrong choices. I am currently rereading it to find what people like about it so much. I do not dislike Elzar Mann (obviously). I think he is an expertly crafted character

I think from the get-go, I was pissed off at him for revealing he tried to kiss Avar in this public setting where she had just gotten a very big work promotion. I get the Battle of Valo was cool & all, but I genuinely do not remember the key details of the battle or what the stolen lightsaber is about. Everyone always raves about the plot, but I remember thinking that Valo was just a massive distraction. Yes, obviously, I loved Stellan, and I'm sure on my reread, I'll come to appreciate his and Elzar's interactions a lot more.

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Convergence: People do not like this one?? I think Convergence is my favorite. Now, I have reread Convergence in its entirety. The first read, I was not that happy until the core four were all together and letting their personalities bounce off each other. I LOVED Axel. I would only refer to him as the gambling addict. He had so much personality, and Gella foiled him so well; it was glorious. I did not like the Xiri & Phan-tu plot line when I intentionally read it, but on my second read, I was like, “Why did I not like this??” I love them.

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TFS: I love Stellan. Then I did not like Stellan. But then I had to mourn Stellan. Unfortunately, Stellan’s death was spoiled on Twitter years ago for me, so it definitely had less impact, but my friend was DESTROYED. Now, I will say this, TFS would have been 100% more effective if I had read phase 1 of the comics because I was VERY upset about how Stellan was treating Avar, and I felt like I had very little context. I loved the pacing and the stakes, and I legitimately felt like I was falling myself at times. Gloriously written and probably my second favorite Claudia Gray book.

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EOD: Alright. I love Avar Kriss. Her journey and growth through this book REALLY sold me. She felt so raw, real, and devastated the whole time that I cried with her when she got Elzar’s message. I know Stellan is “the golden child” in their little trio, but I can’t help but picture her as the golden child of this era entirely. I could talk for hours about her and how much weight she carries. Every scene with her felt so impactful, special, and growing. I’m not anywhere near close to thirty, but I felt comforted that there is this representation of growth still in your thirties, like I somehow needed to see it.

…Elzar was hamletting the whole time. I’m glad he got a message to her, but I really want him to have more impact in the future. Also, I’m not trying to exclude Bell from my notes, but I think his story is pretty great, if a smidge formulaic. He’s likable, growing, and on the path to becoming great. Elzar & Avar are more messy and commentatable (made-up word).

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TotF: I was PISSED Bell didn’t have a POV. I think that’s what bothered me the MOST about this book. I know Burry is like Bell’s bff and all but I wanted BELL. Give me back his POV. Also, whatever Burry was doing was lowkey forgettable. I’m not sure if I really vibe with the blight threat. Elzar did something, I guess, but he was def still Hamletting. Avar gobbled every scene she was in. I do think he had major growth when he rejected Avar at first. I was proud of him for being self-aware because, in TRS, I was lowkey tired of his lusting for her. That whole book, he was like, “I wish I was fucking Avar rn, please, please, please, where is she” After she said no, like, c’mon, I get those are his thoughts, but I was tired of it. I think it is incredibly good NOW, like, “Oh, before he had uncontrollable lust, and now it has evolved into something healthy.” And obviously, if I want two characters to be together, I’m glad one wanted the other so badly sexually, but even in my reread of ToTJ, Avar LOVED him so positively and selflessly. She puts her reputation on the line to get him promoted because, yes, he’s a friend, but she LOVES that man. Wtvr, I’m glad they’re practicing, and I’m glad they killed a Nameless together s/o Elzar for the killing blow. I’ll give him that. Also, I love Xylan.

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The Tempest Breaker: My first audio drama EVER, and I LOVED it. I gobbled it up in like a day during a roadtrip. Like I mentioned previously, I haven’t read the comics, so I had to do some Googling for Keeve & all that. Even without vital context, I think the plot & presentation spoke for themselves. Obviously, I’m going to comment on Elzar’s insane behavior. I would have slapped him. I know Avar was acting emotionally, but idgaf she was right. However... I found it very in character. Even if I was unhappy with him (again), he was there to balance her when she needed it. Avar needed that calm. She grew so much within two scenes, and I love her sm. Also??? Lourna's ex-gf lusting over Avar like crazy in THAT dress?? I need concept art??? Why do we have concept art of Lourna dancing with Marchion but none of Avar in the hot dress?? This is discrimination against wuh luh wuh tbh.

I’m actually writing a companion fanfic about Elvar to this audio drama rn not to promote, but if you want my full thoughts… I’ll let that fic speak for itself.

Also, huge fan of Tey. I'll be on the lookout for the Phase 2 comics for him. My one criticism is that Marc reads Avar with a british accent, and Avar's actress here is American... Yeah, I sometimes had a bit of trouble clarifying Quin and Avar's voices.

LOVED IT. Thanks Mr. Scott. Srry I didn't love TRS. I didn’t gaf about Lourna before, but now I do. Great! (Yes, I did not listen to the Tempest Runner).

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The Battle of Jedha: I listened to this after my reread of Convergence. I have SO many questions. First of all, why did they pick JEDHA? Second, why weren’t Xiri & Phan-tu there?? I know Master Sun was like, "Newlyweds have more important things to be doing," except no they don't what are you talking about. Third, why couldn’t they just Zoom for the treaty at the rate things were going so long?? No more questions: only love for Master Sun. Oh, and the pious droid. Apparently, people like Marda Ro, but I found her actually insufferable. She yelled at that kid for giving Master Shoh a flower, the kid cried, and then Marda was like, "jk I'm glad you gave her that flower." ...girl make up your mind and leave the child alone.

And before I get jumped, no, I did not read PoD. I read the Wookieepedia Summary because the audiobook for PoD was thirty-two dollars. (I'm sorry, Mrs. Gratton; I bought a paperback and the audiobook of TotF please forgive me).

This was definitely way more overstimulating than Tempest Breaker in terms of ...everything. It took me way longer to get through. I liked it. It genuinely felt like I was there.

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Cataclysm: I haven’t crashed out about a character this hard since Jaime Lannister in GøT season 8. Axel Greylark committed what felt like personal betrayals against me. I screamed for his release. I cried when I saw him so sick, and I cheered when Gella got him out. I begged for him to be fixed, and not even Gella could. He left her when she was hurt, and I lost it. He hurt my Gella. I should have recorded myself listening to this. It was stubbing my toe over and over and then hearing, “Jaime. My name’s Jaime,” echoing around me. He devastated me. I’ve never been so livid in my life. I prayed he would change, but then I prayed he would get on his knees whimpering for forgiveness only to be slapped by Gella. I got embarrassed when Gella kept trying to reason with him. Then I cheered when he FINALLY, and I mean FINALLY, did the right thing. My delusional ass knew it all along!!! I'm appalled that there's not more content of Gella & Axel out there. I know, I know, I know, he's toxic and inexcusable.

...BUT WE ALL NEED SOME TOXICITY IN OUR LIVES!! It's okay in moderation, I swear I swear I swear. Plus, he said he was sorry, and in his head he said he loved her omg redemption YAY! (I'm still delusional).

…the child character was so annoying. Also, Xiri & Phan-tu were driving me crazy, please, for the love of GOD, say ‘I love you’ when you hang up the phone on your spouse. I wasn't the biggest fan of Yaddle tbh. I was destroyed whenever Master Sun broke his femur that like lowkey set me off. I'm still crashing out over Axel; why did he DO that...

ALSO??? The way Dr. Kang writes battles is INSANE; that woman has so much strength there.

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Final Notes:

I am not sure how to feel about Lina Soh. They def do not put enough focus on her. She came in very strong, but I can't help but feel that she's been diluted and is lacking the power she needs. Chancellor Greylark felt like she carried a lot of weight in P2. Although maybe that's because it was so pivotal to Axel's character that she "cared more about her work than him," but I need more Soh. I need like at least four POV chapters of her in Trials. Is her son still missing?? What is going on with that?? My main actual issue with THR is the lack of politicking tbh. Mr. Soule opened so strongly with this epic cinematic golden age of the Republic, and yet I see very little *democratic* promotion.

I did not talk about Marchion Ro because omfg that man is crazy. I am a little worried they're giving him the (show) Ramsay Bolton treatment, making him too invincible and horrendous. Like, when he kicked that cat?? Insane behavior. I'm glad that Ghirra is there to play the complex/conflicted villain as a foil. I'm not saying Marchion isn't complex, but his main attribute (for me) is that he is crazy & evil. I think it works logistically because he is surrounded by people fit to govern when he is off being crazy. I don't know. I love his whole setup. Every chapter in ToTF had me being like, "More! More Marchion!" then it would cut to Graf, and I would be like, "You know what? Hell yeah!" Also, I hate Ghirra. Her delusion levels are unmatched (except for me and Gella about Axel, but at least Gella came to her senses).

Also, I did not mention Vernestra, but I enjoyed her in ToTF. I think Elzar needed someone to be mad at him. Not sure how to feel about her in the Acolyte? I guess I'll never know now LOL

I will say this: Every character works. Across these novels, very little space is wasted. I can tell how much effort & love went into these projects. Everyone has a purpose, a goal, an obstacle, and a foil. They have all grown (except... Marchion?), and even when they hurt my favorites, I understand.

I have DNF'd a lot of Star Wars books. Aftermath 1, Master and Apprentice (sorry, Claudia), Thrawn: Treason, and Ahsoka (DNF'd this TWICE, sorry, I simply cannot do it). They don't all work for me! But every Adult High Republic Novel has (enough to reread FOUR of them!). I really appreciate this corner of the galaxy, and I'm sad to see it end when I have just now found it.

(Also, someone please write Gella & Axel content IAMBEGGING).

[i10v3sh4rk5]

A short discussion on Fiyeraba

I’m not necessarily anti-Fiyeraba. I don’t think that it is a bad relationship- in the musical that is. I have a few problems with the musical iteration of Elphaba and Fiyero’s relationship, but it’s relatively okay. Please watch this video about why it’s mediocre. My problem comes from the book version of their relationship. It is troubling, and I would even go so far as to say disturbing.

To start with, in their Shiz days, Elphaba and Fiyero have very limited interaction, only having contact with each other in the context of their wider group hanging out (Glinda, Boq, Avaric, Crope, Tibbett, and Nessa, along with Nanny). This isn’t unusual, it is just a deviation the musical took from the book. The relationship between Elphaba and Fiyero properly begins a few years later in the slums of Emerald city.  Elphaba is praying in church at a cloister of St Glinda (the reason for which she never tells Fiyero), and Fiyero recognises and approaches her. Elphaba vehemently denies knowing him and attempts to escape, even going so far as to use the back door of the church- this is where it gets bizarre and upsetting.

Wanting to pursue her, Fiyero asks the people working at the church if there was a back exit, knowing that Elphaba would be trying to escape that way, and he finds her and follows her home. There’s a bit of a cat and mouse game wherein Elphaba is really trying quite hard to shake Fiyero off around alleyways, but he keeps catching up to her. Eventually she makes it to where she’s residing, a worn out upstairs shack, and Fiyero gets to her. It is at this point on her doorstep that she tells him to leave her alone, to which he responds with this:

‘I’m not going rape or kidnap you, I just want to talk’. Which is terrifying. After some pressure, she eventually lets him in and gives him some food, telling him to eat and then leave. She is clearly unhappy about Fiyero being there and wants him gone. They talk for a bit and then Fiyero leaves. Elphaba tells him to not come back for his own safety. 

He does come back. And he keeps coming back, which for some reason Elphaba doesn’t question.

It is at this point after an emotional outburst from Elphaba that they start a sexual relationship, though it is unclear as to whether feelings have developed at this point. It should be noted that Elphaba does not let Fiyero touch her beneath the waist (it is implied that Elphaba is intersex). After a few weeks Fiyero comes and goes for sex and discussion, and Elphaba is doing domestic things like baking vegetable pies for him. Fiyero questions whether he is in love with her or not. 

It should also be noted that at this point Fiyero has three children with his wife Sarima, who Elphaba later stays with to try and work things out with her following Fiyero’s death and her 7 year stay as a silent nun.

Elphaba calls Fiyero ‘my hero’, and they continue their relationship until Fiyero is killed. Elphaba later goes on to give birth to their son Liir whilst in a shock induced coma.

This relationship is very troubling to me, as it represents several very frightening realities so casually. First of all, that of a man going out of his way to pursue a clearly unwilling woman and forcing his way into her life. Statements such as ‘I’m not going to rape or kidnap you’ are words that many women have heard, and then suffered the reality of. He may not have done either of those things, but it is very intimidating.

Second, is Elphaba’s almost immediate acceptance of Fiyero. She pushes him away, avoids him, tells him to leave (as she should), and then within a few weeks she’s cooking for him and having sex with him. 

Finally, I must stress that when their relationship began, Fiyero was married and had three children. I understand that love is complicated, and that Fiyero and Sarima’s marriage was purely political. However, when his physical relationship with Elphaba began, he did not love her. He was simply sexually attracted to her.

I am not denying that Elphaba had strong feelings for Fiyero. The problem is the premise of their relationship. I do think that this is partly just Gregory Maguire’s interpretation of heterosexual relationships. However, it is still troubling and unpleasant to read, especially if you’re a woman. A disturbing relationship that has been heavily romanticised by both author and reader. 

As previously stated, the musical version is not really that troubling, though please watch that video on why it’s still not that great.

In the musical, Fiyero is an existential, nihilistic prince who yearns to find his place in the world. In the book he is a Winkie prince in an arranged marriage who comes across Elphaba through circumstance, and then by chance.

It should also be understood that neither Fiyero nor Glinda are in the book a whole lot. They are not the main characters. They have some importance, but the main character is Elphaba. The book is not a romance, it is a scathing indictment of imperialism and dictatorship told through an ostracised woman’s philosophical narrative.

Here's the video in case the link didn't work: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_wSKtiE_0A&list=LL&index=50

[bikananjarrus]

meet me at midnight

fandom: the high republic | relationship: avar/elzar/stellan

rating: gen | word count: 2k

happy first firebrands friday of 2025! please enjoy this silly little modern (university professors) au wherein our favorite trio celebrates new year's eve <3 also avar talks about fighting bears (the animal). bc she's a park ranger in this.

[read on ao3 or keep reading below!]

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Elzar was having a staring contest with the front door.

Friends and colleagues milled about through Lina Soh’s house. He’d seen most of them just the other week at Coruscant University’s end of semester faculty Christmas party. But Lina had invited a number of them to her house for the New Year’s Eve party she threw every year. Though house was a bit of an understatement. The university president’s open concept living room-slash-kitchen alone were probably half the size of the apartment Elzar shared with Avar and Stellan.

Though, Lina’s house was a welcome relief from Yoda’s. The ancient university board member was known for being a bit odd, and it was certainly reflected in his maze-like old home. Elzar couldn’t say how many drunk party-goers had gotten lost on their way to the bathroom last year.

Anyway—Lina’s home was even more gorgeous decked out for the holidays. The tree standing tall in front of her living room’s bay windows twinkled with golden lights and bulbs, and it still smelled of pine when you walked by it. Similar golden strands of lights hung all around the room, intertwined with garland. A wreath hung above the fireplace; vases of poinsettias and red roses mixed with white lilies and baby’s breath sat on multiple tables. Music emanated from the sound system, mingled with laughter and chatter from the fifty or so guests.

It had been a lovely evening so far. But it was nearing midnight, but Avar still hadn’t arrived. Elzar had been passing the time chatting with Orla by the buffet table, which was laden with charcuterie boards, platters of fresh fruit and vegetables, and various desserts. Including a chocolate fondue fountain! But she’d abandoned him with an apologetic shrug half an hour ago when Cohmac and Jora had walked in. 

That was just as well. Elzar had never minded sitting with his thoughts. When he had the time and patience for it, anyway. Neither of which he possessed right now.

He knew—even without watching the door like a hawk—it wouldn’t be a surprise when Avar showed up. Though she wasn’t a faculty member at the university, all of Elzar’s friends and colleagues loved Avar.

She and Torbin instead worked together at the nearby state park—Avar a park ranger, and Torbin the on-site medic. Stellan had been the one to suggest to Porter—who was the fencing coach and ran the wilderness activities club at Cor U—to bring Avar and Torbin to the wilderness club as guest speakers two years ago.

And the rest was history. Avar and Torbin had immediately been absorbed into their university family.

Elzar and Stellan had mentioned Avar in passing plenty before she’d met everyone. But in becoming friends with all their friends, she’d somehow surpassed them and was now, apparently, the life of the party.

Again—everyone loved Avar. He could hardly blame them.

The cheers that would surely herald her arrival would alert Elzar immediately. When she arrived. He glanced at the clock on the wall again. If she arrived.

As if sensing his doubt, a familiar deep, soothing voice rumbled next to his ear, “She’ll be here.”

Elzar exhaled through his nose, leaning back into Stellan’s touch as the other man slid a hand across the small of his back.

“I know,” Elzar said, unconvinced.

Stellan pulled Elzar more snugly to his side and pressed a kiss to his temple, repeating, “She’ll be here.”

As if on cue, Elzar felt Stellan’s phone buzz in his pocket where their thighs were touching. “Is that her?”

Elzar’s phone had died hours ago; he was terrible at keeping it charged.

Stellan shimmied to pull his phone out with the hand not settled on Elzar’s waist. He watched Stellan’s face as he swiped up on the screen. A slight frown pulled into a half smile and a fond eyeroll.

“Stell?”

“An email,” he mumbled. Still looking at the screen, he gave his head a little shake, “What on earth is Vernestra doing grading on New Year’s Eve for?”

So, not Avar. Elzar’s disappointment was tamped down easily enough with the opportunity to tease Stellan about his teaching assistant.

“You’re just jealous because you’re not grading right now,” Elzar grinned. “What’s that quote about all work and no play?”

Stellan pinched his side playfully, leaning down close again. He thought—if they hadn’t been in public, surrounded by people they worked with—Stellan might have nipped at his ear. Elzar’s already alcohol warmed blood flushed hotter.

“You’re one to talk. I practically had to drag you out of your office. Which you need to clean, by the way. Maybe that should be your new year’s resolution. Might be nice to actually see the surface of your desk again.”

Elzar waved a hand, twining his other with Stellan’s where it rested on his waist. “My office is just fine, thank you very much. I know where everything is, and that’s all that matters.”

“Right,” Stellan responded, though he sounded half distracted. He’d shifted a bit as they’d talked, and now he was almost completely behind him, chin hooked over Elzar’s shoulder and both arms around his waist as they swayed gently to the change in music.

“You’re being awfully bold tonight,” Elzar murmured. Usually he was the one taking it a step too far. Not because he wanted to embarrass Stellan or Avar—mostly because he sometimes forgot they weren’t the only three people in the world. That the audience around them had eyes and liked to gossip as much as anyone.

He felt rather than saw Stellan shrug. “It’s not like people don’t know we’re together. Besides, pretty much everyone here is good friends with us, and anyone who isn’t, Lina will tell off.”

“True,”

“Plus,” Stellan gave him another kiss, this time to the underside of his jaw, the hairs of his beard tickling the sensitive skin, “I’m trying to distract you from all your worrying. We’re supposed to be having fun, remember?”

“I am having fun,” he argued.

Stellan wasn’t wrong—he was worried about Avar. It was habitual, at this point, to worry about both of them when they weren’t around.

Right now, though, he couldn’t help but push back at Stellan a bit, because it was too much fun to see what he would do. Especially when Stell was emboldened like this. Stellan was the most professional of the three of them—buttoned up, some might say if they were being respectful; average to the point of being boring or bland if they weren’t.  

But Elzar and Avar knew better than anyone else just how much of a troublemaker Stellan could be when you got him going. How much Stellan thrived off laughter. He and Avar were a lot alike, in that way.

“Oh, yeah?” Stellan smiled. He untangled himself from Elzar, leaving them connected by only a hand, which he tugged, pulling Elzar further into the crowd and out of line of sight to the door. “Prove it.”

As they stepped further into the warm glow of the living room, Elzar took in sight of their friends around them. Emerick and Sian were off in the corner, heads close together, deep in discussion. Cohmac was laughing quietly at something Orla had said. Jora had moved to stand next to Sskeer, Cor U’s new younger adjunct, Keeve, telling them a story involving a lot of hand gestures. Orbalin was—was he doing jello shots? He must’ve brought those himself, because no way Lina would’ve made those! The hostess herself was curled up on one of the couches talking with Loden and Nib, her two massive Maine Coons sprawled with her.

As they merged with the crowd in the living room, the countdown started.

Ten! Nine! Eight!

Elzar smoothed his hands down the front of Stellan’s sweater, worries fading from mind as he met his partner’s warm gaze.

Seven! Six!

One of Stellan’s hands cupped his jaw, thumb brushing his chin. Elzar’s fingers went to Stellan’s belt loops.

Five! Four!

“Three,” Stellan said, eyes bright.

“Two,”

“One—”

Elzar tugged him forward, crushing his mouth to Stellan’s as cheers erupted around them.

Happy New Year!

Stellan tasted like the pinkapple wine he loved, hands warm where they cradled Elzar’s face.

Celebration, laughter, hugs—and probably some other midnight kisses—erupted all around them. Fireworks could be heard in the distance. But it all felt very far away as Elzar kissed the man he loved.

Only when a new cheer erupted through the gathered guests did he pull away.

“Ayy, it’s Avar!”

“And Buckets of Blood!”

“Maru!”

Elzar turned with Stellan to the subject of the commotion, grinning broadly as the three park rangers finally entered the house with a brief gust of cold and fresh bottle of champagne in hand.

Torbin, despite towering over many of the others there, was practically being tackled with hugs already. Maru beelined for Lina, kissing her on both cheeks and thanking her for inviting them, before a glass of champagne was being shoved into his open hand.

And Avar—her eyes had found them in the crowd at the same time they’d found her. She floated over to them. As if gravity itself would accept nothing less than immediately putting the three of them back in their intended orbit around each other.

Elzar and Stellan opened their arms and Avar walked right into their embrace.

“Sorry I’m late,” she said, crushed between them. “We got called in last minute because some idiot college kids decided it was a good idea to break into the campgrounds after hours. Two of them drunkenly wandered off so we had to help find them. And then I had to shower and change and, well, you know.”

“It’s okay,” Elzar said as she pulled back. He gave her a once over, admiring her fitted black jeans and shimmery softly golden sweater. She wore the diadem he and Stellan had gifted her after their college graduation years ago—because she said she’d always liked the idea of a crown!—the three central gems shining. “You’re here now.”

Stellan nudged him with an elbow. “He’s been worried sick.”

Avar just smiled and tilted her head at Elzar. “Would it make you feel better if I said there weren’t even any bears involved this time?”

He rolled his eyes as Stellan and Avar broke into laughter. “You and the damn bear stories.”

“Hey! My bear stories are true!”

“Some of them,” Stellan pointed out.

“Most of them!”

Stellan just raised a brow at her.

Avar leaned towards him. “You know, I noticed how you said Elzar was worried about me tonight, but not you—”

An impressive eyeroll from Stellan. “You literally texted me that you were busy getting ready like an hour ago—”

“Just remember the next time you don’t believe my bear stories—"

“—so, I was pretty sure you weren’t in any mortal danger from curling your hair.”

“—that I could’ve been eaten by one tonight.”

“You are not going to get eaten by a bear.”

Elzar watched their back and forth, waiting for the inevitable moment when one of them broke.

It was Avar’s favorite party trick—and one of her favorite ways to annoy Stellan—telling ever more ridiculous ranger stories involving bears and other wild beasts. But mostly bears.  

Stellan was apparently still feeling confident enough not to concede to Avar tonight. He stared her down, both of them on the verge of breaking into smiles.

Finally, Avar giggled brightly. “Happy New Year, Stell.” She yanked on his sweater and kissed him soundly.

Pulling away from Stellan, she turned to Elzar.

God—she was breathtaking. His hands damn near shook as he reached for her waist to pull her close. Avar cupped his face the way Stellan had minutes before.

“Glad to hear someone—“ a pointed, teasing look over her shoulder at Stellan “was worried about me. Happy New Year, El.”

“Happy New Year, Avar.”

She kissed him then, and the beat of Elzar’s heart seemed to match the boom of the far off fireworks.

They kissed until Elzar felt drunk off it. Then, she grabbed both their hands and tugged them back into their crowd of friends. Someone had turned the music up; fresh glasses of champagne were poured. And the three of them danced together until dawn.

[shield-and-saber]

FINE I'M GIVING UP

please tell me how to properly get into the high republic era because this is the only part of star wars i am completely unfamiliar with and it's starting to drive me insane to the point i'm rewatching the acolyte

👀🦗🦗🦗 yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

long story short, the high republic is cut into three sections that are meant to mirror the skywalker saga. you have phase 1 that was published first, meant to be the OT. you have phase 2 published 2nd, meant to be the prequels (it takes place a couple hundred years prior and is also my favorite). and then phase 3 that's almost done publishing right now, meant to be the sequels.

i use this link from the star wars website to help me keep track of all the books, comics, and other tie-in stuff in the high republic. i don't fully agree with the reading order, but we'll get into that later. i can also send you personal recommendations from my experience reading through if you would like!

there are adult novels, young adult novels, and middle grade books. as well as comic runs and audio books. i can give you an mp3 for the audio books! they're really well produced and you can also buy printed scripts if it's hard to listen to/you get distracted.

reasonable take:

you're gonna be familiar with vernestra and she's in phase 1 (OT), so if you want to start there and meet her as a young jedi knight/master that's a great place to start!!

there are a lot of books and comics, it was really overwhelming for me at first and i still haven't read past the first book. but the first book was really, really good and i loved it.

you start with light of the jedi (basically, a new hope) and you meet a bunch of new characters, so that can be a lot at first. i recommend keeping tracking of the main main characters: avar, elzar, bell, loden, marchion, and burryaga!

biased take:

i started reading phase 2 (prequels) because of the acolyte, and i loved it. i skipped over phase 1 bc i just wanted to read chronologically

if you chose to do start with phase 2, i suggest starting with path of deceit. that's where you meet marda (my icon!!) and is also helps to establish the entire plot of the high republic going forward. it's basically like starting star wars w/ the phantom menace.

it's the shortest of the 3 phases, so there's less material to cover and it's easier to get through

the characters in path of deceit remind me so much of the acolyte that it's no longer funny. osha and marda are the same to me (and also they should kiss). the mother is like if mother aniseya was worse. arguably, yana is like mae. the story focuses on jedi vs non-jedi and centers on two cousins who are both orphans, like hello?????????? (also there's are two separate padawans called enya keen and rooper nitani who both remind me so much of jecki)

i actually have annotations in my copy of path of deceit that reference the acolyte bc i was watching and reading in tandem

also literally everything about my blog is a phase 2 reference. my url. my icon. my blog title. everything

i personally have enjoyed reading phase 2 first and am recommending that to all my friends lol, but do what speaks to you!!

i'm so excited you're interested in joining us and i can't wait to talk to you more about all the new blorbos you will acquire!!!!!!!!!!!!

[marsbarsfrommars]

alone with you (the only heaven I'll be sent to)

star wars: the high republic | rated t | complete | 2,344 words | avar kriss/elzar mann | fluff, a little hurt/comfort

summary

She nods and simply says the only thing she has to, “I understand.” 

“I knew you would,” he responds with a certainty that makes Avar's heart seize. 

or, in a quiet moment post-chapter 53, avar finds out about elzar almost dying on grizal

read

under the cut or on ao3 for better formatting

notes

first of all, this is dedicated to the person who headcannoned that elzar has burn scars on his hands from crashing his vector on grizal. I've tried, but I can't find their post, so if anyone knows whose post I'm talking about, please comment so I can tag them here.

edit: it's the lovely @ledalausnows and you should definitely check out her posts bc she's super cool!!

also, a huge shout out to the thr fans on tumblr: if it wasn't for you I probably wouldn't have finished this. thank you for all your support and I hope you enjoy this <3

this is the first time in at least six years that I've actually finished one of my wips, so while I'm a little proud of this, the quality might be questionable. my perfectionism made me proof read this so many times I could probably recite it from memory so I hope this is readable and I fixed all major mistakes. anyways, I hope you enjoy this

also, english isn't my first language, so please just ignore any grammar/spelling mistakes

content warning for mentions of scars, injuries, near-death experiences and past major character death. none of this is in any way graphic but I wanted to mention it anyways

The overhead lights in Avar’s quarters are turned down to a dim glow, and it's quiet apart from the gentle hum of the ship's engines. The night cycle must have started a while ago, but neither of them had noticed; both of them were too wrapped up in each other. Now, though, they're resting. Elzar on his back in her bunk, one arm gently wrapped around her with his hand lazily caressing her waist, and Avar on her stomach, half resting on his chest, the fabric of his shirt soft under her wandering hands. 

It's nice like this—peaceful. For a moment, Avar allows herself to forget about their upcoming task, about the possible danger the future holds, and just exist in this moment with Elzar. She feels more at peace than she has in months, possibly years. She slowly runs her hand down Elzar’s arm and intertwines her fingers with his, her thumb softly brushing over the back of his hand. The motion is familiar; they've held hands more times than she can count in those weeks since she escaped the Occlusion Zone, but there's something that makes her pause. It only takes her a moment to realise that tonight is the first time since that fateful night in the garden on Starlight Beacon that they've held hands without the barrier of Elzar’s gloves between them. Elzar wearing gloves is in itself nothing out of the ordinary for a Jedi; most of them routinely wear them as part of their robes, which explains why she hasn't noticed it before. Now that she really thinks about it though, it does strike her as odd that she can't remember seeing him without gloves even once since their reunion. 

She slowly brushes her thumb over the back of Elzar’s hand again. The skin feels rougher in some spots. Avar knows the feeling of scars, enough of them are covering her own body, but she can't recall Elzar ever suffering an injury to his hands that would cause scarring this significant. She raises their intertwined hands to his chest, and sure enough, a thin web of healed fine-line and burn scars covers the back of his hand and wrist. An uneasy feeling settles in her stomach. What happened to Elzar to leave his hands scarred like this, and why wouldn't he tell me? 

Elzar, sensing the subtle change in her demeanour, chooses precisely this moment to open his eyes and look up at her. And for a moment, as silly as it may sound, she feels overwhelmed by the sheer force of her feelings for him. She had missed him for years, and sometimes, even though it's been months since their reunion, she still can't believe she doesn't have to anymore. Avar is certain he already knows what she wants to ask about, but he doesn't say anything, waiting for her to take the first step, so she does. 

“These aren't recent.” It's a remark, not a question. She knows Elzar will tell her everything without her having to ask. There are no secrets between them; nothing is left unspoken. Not anymore. The thought makes a familiar warmth bloom in her chest. 

“No.” Elzar’s voice is soft, reserved for the quiet of quarters and whispered secrets after dark. “I got them on Grizal when my Vector crashed. The healers at the Temple did their best and apparently Bacta also helped a lot, but they couldn't prevent the scars.”

Avar furrows her brow. “I didn't know you were injured on Grizal.” She feels Elzar's body tense ever so slightly underneath her, anyone else wouldn't have noticed, but him and her—and Stellan, of course—have always shared an unusually deep connection, and now they're as attuned to each other as they haven't been in years, perhaps ever. 

“It was at the end of the battle. We thought we were winning, but we didn't know there were Nameless on Grizal. I don't remember this part at all, and most of what came after is pretty blurry in my head, but Stellan later told me that he saw my Vector go straight down. I don't understand why, but I must have passed out when the Nameless appeared. My Vector caught fire when it crashed, and the cockpit bubble shattered. I wasn't wearing gloves that day, that's why the damage to my skin there was so severe. Ty pulled me out, saved my life. I don't remember anything after, but I know Stellan was with me.” 

Avar takes a moment to process all of this. When she finally speaks, her tone isn't accusatory, there may be a tinge of hurt to it though. “Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't Stellan?” she asks. Before Elzar can answer, a terrible thought takes shape in her mind. “It's not that you thought I wouldn't care, is it?” 

No matter what happened, she had never and would never stop caring about Elzar and Stellan. She knows without a doubt that it's the same for them, but she and Elzar hadn't spoken for a year at that point, and her relationship with Stellan had already been strained, so what if they had started to doubt her? Avar lowers her head. She's not sure she can look him in the eyes when he answers, the possibility of what she'll see there—of what he'll see in her—too overwhelming. 

Elzar draws his hand away from her waist to gently cup her face and tilt her head up until her eyes meet his again. His gaze is earnest and there's an urgency in it—he needs her to believe what he says next. She already knows she will before he can utter a single word because she trusts him implicitly, and she knows that trust is mutual. 

“No, I never thought that, I promise.” He pauses for a second and takes a deep breath, “And I know that Stellan didn't either.” 

Avar lets out a shuddering breath and tries to quell her bubbling emotions, which threaten to spill over at his words. Even so, her voice sounds a little shaky when she asks, “Are you sure?” 

Elzar nods sincerely. “I am. Stellan wanted to comm you, but I told him not to. We argued about it, and he relented in the end.” 

The sheer relief she feels at his reassurance is dampened by one burning question, but she doesn't have to ask for him to tell her. 

“I wanted you to know, I really did, but you were halfway across the galaxy fighting the Drengir and I didn't want you to be distracted.” He briefly averts his eyes, as if he's unsure about his next sentence, before he says, “I thought if you found out, you'd want to come see me, but we both know you couldn't have, and I didn't want to make it harder on you.” 

Part of her wants to argue, wants to protest that she would have come if only she had known. But Elzar is right; she couldn't have. Still, she wishes someone had told her. But of course he wouldn't want that, she should have known. Elzar tends to view himself as selfish, but she has always known him to put the wellbeing of others, particularly hers and Stellans, above his own. 

“And later?” she prompts gently. It's certainly not a conversation either of them had expected to have tonight, and she never wants to push him, but they've spent so much time keeping things to themselves in fear of crossing a line that hardly existed in the first place, and what good did it do them? 

“As bizarre as it sounds, almost dying wasn't the worst experience I had that week.” Now it's his voice that sounds shaky. The experience has clearly affected him more than he's currently letting on, understandably so, and Avar sends a burst of warmth through the Force. 

“When I was fully healed, everything was still so chaotic after Valo and Grizal, and there was so much going on that it just didn't seem that important.” Avar hates that he thinks that way but doesn't interrupt him; there will be time for reassurance later. “I got used to the scars fairly quickly, and even though they should be a constant reminder, I hardly think about it now. And I don't wish to. I've made my peace with everything that happened and everything I did then, I truly did, but I still don't like to remember it.” 

Avar understands, of course she does. Enough bad things have happened to her in these last few years that she's made peace with, as is the Jedi way, but still doesn't like to think of. They're the same in that way. She nods and simply says the only thing she has to, “I understand.” 

“I knew you would,” he responds with a certainty that makes Avar's heart seize. 

There's a pause in their conversation then, both of them processing and coming to terms with what was and what hasn't yet been said. Avar is the one to break it when she says, “Please never do that again.” 

Elzar quirks an eyebrow, the tension caused by their conversation slowly melting away. It seems he has decided that the heavy part of their conversation is over, which Avar truly doesn't mind. “Which part? Almost dying or not telling you about it?” 

“Oh, do shut up,” Avar says, but there's no heat to it, just affectionate warmth. 

Elzar laughs softly and pulls her down for a gentle kiss. Far too soon, Avar pulls away again and cups his face with her free hand, her thumb gently stroking his cheek. This time it's her who needs him to believe her next words. Her voice is soft yet insistent when she says, “I care about you, El. I don't want you to get hurt. And if you do, I want to be by your side if it's in any way possible. And even if I can't be, I want to at least know, please.” 

Elzar nods, every trace of playfulness gone from his face and replaced by sincerity. “I know, and I promise you, the next time anything of the sort happens to me, I will tell you.” 

Avar nods as well. “Good.” 

A slow smile spreads across his face at that and the tenderness in his eyes is almost overwhelming. Avar thinks if she had a mirror, she'd surely see it reflected in her own eyes. 

Elzar turns his head and presses a gentle kiss to the inside of her wrist, and she feels the familiar warmth spread in her chest once again, chasing away the last remnants of distress. 

She leans down to press her lips to his once again, their connection in the Force glowing with love and understanding, making her feel almost giddy. 

The kiss turns heated when Avar slides the hand still cupping Elzar’s check back into his hair, her fingers tangling in the soft strands, pressing her lips to his with more urgency. Elzar responds in kind by wrapping his arm around her waist once again and pulling her as close as their current position allows. She feels butterflies in her stomach at that, like when she was seventeen and kissed him for the first time. It amazes her that time and distance haven't dulled the effect he's always had on her in the slightest, but then again, how could they? He's Elzar, after all, her Elzar. 

They don't belong to each other, of course not; there's no possessiveness to their love. But they belong with each other; side by side always. They both know it and the Force rings true with it. 

They break apart, eyes closed and foreheads still pressed together. The kiss has left both of them breathless, as kisses like this often do. Once they've recovered enough to open their eyes and ever so slightly pull away from each other, and Avar really gets to look at him again, she is hit with the realisation of just how beautiful Elzar is like this. She doesn't think there has ever been a moment where she hasn't thought of him as beautiful, but seeing him like this is something else entirely. The dim glow of the overhead lights is reflected in his dark eyes, his hair disheveled from where she ran her hands through it earlier, a soft smile gracing his lips. A sight that's reserved just for her. 

Avar's musings are interrupted when Elzar starts to speak again, his voice still sounding a little breathless. “Avar, I…,” he begins but then trails off, unable to finish his sentence. It doesn't bother Avar. She knows. 

She pulls their still-intertwined hands up to press a gentle kiss to his knuckles, then the back of his hand, then his wrist. She feels his sharp intake of breath more than hears it, and when she meets his eyes, he's gazing at her with a look in his dark eyes Avar can't quite place. Later, she will come to recognise it as pure, unfiltered devotion. 

“Stars, Avar,” he murmurs. 

Elzar seems to know exactly what she's thinking—or maybe he just shares the sentiment—because he kisses her again, his hand slipping under her shirt to gently caress the bare skin of her waist. It's an exquisite kiss, and for the moment Avar allows herself to get lost in it, in this, until the only thoughts in her head are how lovely it is to feel so at peace, and Elzar. Always, always Elzar. 

“What is it?” she asks. For a split-second, she's scared she's overstepped, but Elzar just shakes his head and leans up to brush his lips against hers in a tender kiss that ends far too quickly for her liking. If it were up to her, he'd never stop kissing her, she thinks, only slightly bothered by the fact that she sounds like a character in one of those stereotypical Jedi romance novels Kantam and her used to read to each other for fun in their Padawan days. 

[mischiefxmuses]

taking inspiration from kasey with the pinboards. Here is my plotting/ starter call for the mini event. If you want a starter please be very specific about muses. Also if you like this for plotting i'll hop into your DMs. I'll be dropping most older threads pre event but keeping new ones going or plot heavy and important ones. But yeah that's it from me here goes:

Alastor - Going Solo

Alastor is chaos so he is likely going to be wandering around, watching and learning. Causing some chaos. Maybe talk to a few people, get a few secrets from people. He might offer up a song or two. Possible plots: People wanting to cause chaos with him, someone who spills their heart out to him, roaming around the museum together, judging people together. (2/3) - Shu Hualing, Clara

Angel - Going with Buffy Summers

Angel does not like events like this. He is going because he wants to be with buffy and he is trying new things. But he's still often going to be found wandering or in a corner. Possible plots: people watching from the sidelines as well, wandering the museum together (1/3) - Buffy

Billy Loomis - Going with Jill Roberts

Billy wonders what sort of chaos will happen but he is looking forward to getting to dance with his girlfriend. On this night he might not be focusing on Ghostface quite as much and more on her. (He does still have his knife on him just in case). Possible plots: causing a little bit of chaos, drinking, wandering around. (2/3) - Jill, Tara

Charles Xavier - Going with Ororo Monroe

Charles promised her to focus more on her so for this time he is really trying to make it about her and not work. He is going to try his hardest but will be quite sad that he cannot dance with her properly. Possible plots: Charles talking your muses ear off about the museum, having a drink with the professor, exploring the museum. (3/3) - Rose, Feng Yu , Ororo

Charlie Weasley - Going with Lydia Martin

After the war he struggles with big social events so it is going to require some getting used too. Especially since he used to be a social butterfly. He will be drinking, exploring and just chatting to as many people as possible. Possible plots: exploring, having a dance, drinking buddies. (1/3) - Dora

Charlotte Emily - Going with Max Lightwood

Charlotte never really got to experience these things and the random date thing with Max as well makes her nervous. Her aim will to be have fun but not to get overwhelmed and keep the puppet at bay. possible plots: someone who helps calm her down, someone to drink with, someone to explore with (2/3) - Cassidy, Mike

Cleo Mckinnon - Going with Thor Odinson

Cleo just wants to get away from the family drama and have a fun night. She will try to keep the peace in her family if things happen as best as she can but she wants to be able to enjoy her night with Thor. She wants to explore and be a person. possible plots: someone to explore with, someone to drink with, family plots. (1/3) - Thor

Cordelia Goode - Going with Alastor Moody

Cordelia loves an elegant event. She is even happier to go with Alastor. She is looking forward to a romantic evening with some dancing and conversation. possible plots: drinking together, exploring the museum, getting some fresh air (2/3) - Qi Yang, Alastor

Cullen Rutherford - Going with Jing Xi

Cullen doesn't like events like this but being who he is he needed to show his face and participate in the event. He is really awkward and uncomfortable but he will try. Just be ready for awkwardness. possible plots: exploring the museum, having a drink together, getting some fresh air, fellow government staff, catching him trying to sneak off. (0/3)

Dream - Going with Avar

Dream is not good in places like this. But he is trying, he really is. He will likely be on the sidelines most of the time. He won't try to leave because he's there with Avar but likely spending a lot of time outside. possible plots: exploring the museum, getting some fresh air, being with him when he tries a drink, judging people together. (2/3) - thanatos, Avar

Fleur Delacour Weasley - Going with Bill Weasley

Fleur cannot wait to be able to dance with her husband. She enjoys these sorts of events and looking forward to a romantic evening. She is excited to see how everyone is dressed. possible plots: exploring the museum, getting some fresh air, talking about the fashion. (1/3) - Bill

Harwin Strong - Going with Rhaenyra Targaryen

Getting to go to an event like this with his wife. He is very excited because he never got to show them off back home. They got that one dance together and it was so nice, one of the times he knew he loved them. He never got to show his affection so getting to now, he is very excited. He is so in love and cannot wait to dance with them. Even if he is not overly fond of parties. possible plots: exploring the museum, getting a drink, parents happy to have a night off. (0/3)

Henry Creel - Going with Phoebe Buffay

Henry is curious if anything will happen at this event. He is very intrigued by the whole thing. He agreed to do the blind date thing out of sheer curiosity. Not that he actually cares but he is a curious individual. He will be hungry for some chaos. possible plots: exploring the museum, creating some chaos, catching him trying to sneak into a place he shouldn't be going. (0/3)

Hera Syndulla - Going Solo

It'll be a fun night even if she's going solo. It's going to make her miss Kanan more than usual but she's happy to show her face. She wants to support her colleagues and meet new people. Maybe explore the museum. possible plots: hanging out with colleagues, having a drink or two, interacting with her pilots, exploring the museum. (0/3)

Hunter - Going with Rowena Ravenclaw

Hunter is getting better about going to these events. He is become more accustomed to not just being a soldier. He is looking forward to spending some time with Rowena, he will not dance because he cannot dance and doesn't want to embarrass him in front of her. He will try not to work either. possible plots: enjoying the vibes, exploring the museum, having a drink, someone trying to convince him to dance. (2/3) - Feyre, Rowena

Iorveth - Going with Lexi

Iorveth doesn't do these sort of events. Back home he was actively shunned so he never got to. He doesn't know how to do these sort of parties but of course Lexi dragged him along. He is reluctantly there. He will not dance. (Lexi will likely make him). possible plots: exploring the museum, having a drink or a few, watching from the sidelines, going outside for a bit. (0/3)

Loki Laufeyson - Going Solo

Loki is going because of curiosity and he works at the museum but he's not super keen. He doesn't need the reminder of all the festivities back home that he suffered through because no one really wanted to interact with him. But he's here. He might set of some magical fireworks or bring things in the museum to life because funny. possible plots: playing some tricks, exploring the museum, having a drink or a few, catching him trying to escape. (1/3) - Wei Wuxian

Nimona - Going with Reggie Peters

Nimona is ready to cause some chaos. She's never really been to an event like this and never gone while on a date. They have no idea how to navigate it but she's excited. Hopefully people will join in on the chaos they want to create. possible plots: causing chaos and mischief together, dancing, having a drink, exploring. (1/3) - Kaz

Peter Hale - Going with Bev Marsh

Peter is very intrigued and just happy to go with Bev. He can be very social and very charming. He is looking forward to dancing with Bev and having an evening just hoping nothing crazy happens. possible plots: having a drink or two, exploring the museum (2/3) - Bev, Allison

Rabastan Lestrange - Going with Narcissa Black

The main thing is he is looking forward to spending the evening with his fiance and getting to celebrate with her. He is going to avoid getting into fights and avoid any of the idiot brigade as much as possible. He will not engage in fights. possible plots: having a drink or two, exploring the museum, someone trying to engage in a fight with him. (0/3)

Satine Kryze - Going with Obi Wan Kenobi

Going as besties to enjoy the evening. Have a few drinks and relax. It is comforting to just have him around and going with him eases any stress she might feel about all of this. She knows it's important to show her face as well as a senator. possible plots: other government people, having a drink or two, exploring the museum. (0/3)

Sanji - Going with Nami

Sanji is over the moon excited to go with Nami to this and to get to dance with her. It will be interesting to have the rest of the crew see them together but he doesn't care about any judgement, he wants to make this night special for Nami. possible plots: straw hats seeing nami x sanji together, having a drink or two, judging the food together, exploring the museum. (2/3) - Usopp, Nami

Shanks - Going with Yor

Shanks is very intrigued about this. Never really experienced anything like this but he loves a social event. Getting to talk to people and he is very interested to get to know Yor a bit more. possible plots: having a few drinks together, exploring the museum, having a dance, judging people. (1/3) - Yor

Silco - Going with Emma Swan

Silco feels he needs to go as the Secretary of the Treasury and participate in the blind date thing. He does intend to sneak away at some point. He will try to enjoy himself but it is Silco. He will be very worried about Jinx. possible plots: having a drink together, exploring the museum, judging people. (1/3) - Jinx

Sion Val Palpatine - Going with Ashley Brown

Sion is not letting Ashley out of his sight. He just wants them to have a happy evening together after everything. He wants to dance with her and be with her. He doesn't want drama so he will avoid serious conversations. possible plots: having a drink together, exploring the museum, trying to have a deep convo with him and he's not doing it. (2/3) - Rey, Ashley

Tenel Ka Djo - Going with Jacen Solo

Tenel is hoping for a nice evening with Jacen. She doesn't want drama or anything just a chance for them to have fun. They both need it but she is very aware that they will be surrounded by their family. She is still going to try to enjoy herself and make sure Jacen isn't stressing. possible plots: having a drink together, judging people, exploring the museum. (2/3) - Jacen, Jyn

Percy De Rolo - Going with tbc

With his memories he is happy to get to go to an event like this. Respectability and dancing. It was something he missed. Constant battles and fighting, now he is happy to get to spend time with Vex on top of it. Though she doesn't remember, she is still Vex and he wants to make the night special for her. possible plots: having a drink together, exploring the museum, talking, gossiping (sort of) (0/3)

Yennefer of Vengerberg - Going with Geralt Of Rivia

Yennefer will try not to work but it will always be in the back of her mind to watch out for Leia. She enjoys dancing and socializing but never trusts events like this. She is looking forward to dancing with Geralt again. possible plots: fellow USSS trying to relax, exploring the museum, having a drink, gossiping. (2/3) - Dru, Zoya

Lyanna Stark - Going with Rhaegar Targaryen

They never got to do this sort of thing together, their relationship was secret and then they lost each other. So she is so excited to have this time with Rhaegar. She hopes to just enjoy. possible plots: exploring the museum, gossiping, having a drink or two, enjoying the vibes. (0/3)

Zash Baen - Going with Megara

This is so not his scene. He is going because he has been paid by Jabba to keep an eye on him. The blind date thing is to cover why he is there. He won't make it obvious that he is watching his boss. He will have his lightsabers on him. possible plots: drinking a decent amount, trying to engage him or gossip with him, exploring the museum, finding him sat away from everyone. (1/3) - Alani

[storiesbreathed]

@avinkusprince continued from HERE !

"Please, I don't want to talk about it, if you—" A sharp, hissing intake of breath as she touches the broken, bruised skin of his ribs. The blue of the trailing diamonds there is marred with blotchy purples and smearing reds. He exhales with what, from the tone of it, can only be an oath in Arjiki. "—If you don't mind!" Whatever private and completely managed imaginings he might have entertained about Elphaba's touch on his bare skin, he certainly cannot have ever anticipated that he would feel it in a wound-dressing after an after-dark attack on the streets of Shiz. But he'd gotten too comfortable, willing himself to believe that he was getting to be familiar and not a foreigner - choosing not to see the looks nor hear the jeers that sometimes met him when he walked in town alone. Or if he saw, if he heard, he reasoned away that these people must have only be like Avaric: a little dumb, a little mean, but harmless and able to be won over. This is what happens when someone like him forgets. He'd come to Elphaba thinking she'd be the most savvy of the few true friends he's made, and the most likely to competently put all his pieces back where they belong, but he hadn't considered that that righteous sensibility of hers might be inflamed. How long can he withhold the ugly truth under her questioning. "Why talk about it? It would be unpleasant, and isn't this—" Another hiss, a wince. "—isn't this unpleasant enough already?"

elphaba knows she can be short tempered. her father tried his very best to teach her to not be ( she recalls mutterings on how it is not becoming, on how she needs to be a good big sister, an example ) but it is not a trait she has corrected just yet ( and she is fairly confident it will not ever be ). worse, it is a trait of hers that cannot be restrained when the things and people she cares about are bothered, which is why the moment fiyero approaches her a fierce mixture of concern and rages fills her. she does not try to reel it in, not until he hisses for a second time.

fingers withdraw from the bruise hesitating to figure out where she should touch “ we need to talk about it. ” she insists, despite seeing fiyero’s clear discomfort, looking back down to the injury before looking up into his eyes again, a softness to her for a moment as her gaze lingers and she shakes her head.

“ we need to talk about it because in order to give you the best care i can, i need to know what happened. ” it’s not entirely a lie and she would not be surprised if fieyero saw right through her. later she will hope he will either not mind or come to forgive her… for as she allows her eyes to drift down again she feels her concern deepen as well as her anger at all of the what if’s flowing through her mind.

... do not get ahead of yourself elphaba... it could have been a nasty tumble down some stairs... but would fiyero seemingly sharply dismissive about talking about what happened?! frustration boils inside of her ( not at him, but at the what ifs roaming in her mind ), all the while her mind reels to try and figure out just how to treat this. she takes a deep breath. she tries to center herself. the last thing she needs is to get to wrapped up in her emotions. she inhales, she exhales, she rests a green hand upon his shoulder.

" sit." she says. " and talk to me. "

[projectjasper]

Hey! Can you please explain why it's wrong to use Caucasian to mean white? I tried to google it but all I found were explanations of how we started using it.

yeah, sure!

so the word "caucasian" comes from the caucasus, which is a mountainous region between the black and caspian seas bordering turkey and iran in the south. the territories situated in that region are: the countries of azerbaijan, georgia, armenia, and the territories which were colonized and are still occupied by russia to this day, which are adygea, dagestan, ingushetia, kabardino-balkaria, karachay-cherkessia, north ossetia - alania, and chechnya. the ethnic groups native to those regions are: azerbaijanis, georgians, armenians*, abkhazians, cherkess/circassians, avars, dargins/dargwa, kumyks, lezgins/leks, laks, nogais, rutuls, ingush, kabardians, balkars, karachays, ossetians/alans, and chechens.**

*azerbaijanis, georgians, and armenians have certain ethnic subgroups but i believe they have all historically been joint by their respective ethnic group for a long time and do not separate themselves from each other outside of having small differences in traditions - if someone knows differently, please do correct me

**sorry if i forgot someone and do let me know if i did

now, here are some examples of what people of some of those ethnic groups look like:

chechen activist tumso abdurakhmanov, ossetian comedian ariana lolaeva, half-georgian singer valery meladze

just looking at these people, you can probably already take a guess at why it is at the very least silly to point at blonde becky born in ohio and call her caucasian. but there is also a reason why i took the time to list every single ethnic group that lives in the caucasus region (apart from trying to generally educate you) - i listed them because these groups are objectively the only ones, who can be called caucasians. moreover, not only are actual caucasians in a weird spot in terms of whether they can even be called white or not (as i said, it is a relatively small mountainous region that borders iran, and i believe no one would call iranians white), but even if you do consider them white, there is an enormous variety of other ethnic groups under the white label AND the majority of white americans' ancestors are NOT caucasians.

apart from the fact that using caucasian as a synonym to white is kind of nonsensical, it is also just unnecessary. there is no context in which the usage of the word caucasian provides any additional information - you can always replace it with the word white and the meaning would remain the same. (btw, as a linguist, this is actually a little hint from the language itself that something isn't right with the way you are using the word - no two words can be fully synonymous in a language, there is always some subtle difference in meaning, but with the way americans use caucasian and white - there is none).

finally, and to my mind most importantly, by using caucasian in the way that americans use it, you are stripping actual caucasians of the ability to talk about their identity in english, THE international language of the world. this is already offensive enough, but considering the colonization of the caucasus by the russian empire throughout the 19th century, the horrors and genocides performed by russians in the region, and the continuous oppression of caucasians in russia today, you are effectively silencing a whole bunch of ethnic groups on their past and the things their ancestors suffered, and helping russia erase that part of history from the general knowledge of the public by co-opting the word you don't need that is so central to the identities of these ethnic groups.

[i-will-always-love-the-jedi]

The three firebrands (and guests)- Incorrect Quotes Part 13

Avar: *has a piece of paper on her back*

The Text on the Piece of Paper: Please don’t talk to me I have no self control and will gossip with you for three hours and get no work done.

Elzar: I did a thing.

Stellan: A thing?

Elzar: Let’s not talk about the thing.

Stellan: We’ll talk about the thing later.

Stellan: I’m heading to the kitchen, do you two want anything?

Elzar: Vodka.

Avar: White wine.

Stellan: … It’s seven in the morning.

Elzar: Very well. Vodka and cereal.

Avar: Red wine then and toast.

Avar: What if the 'g' in 'gif' is silent?

Stellan: Go the fuck to sleep

Avar: What gif I don't want to?

Elzar: Fuck You I was dreaming about Unicorns

[feanorianethicsdepartment]

more of tauriel’s hellfamily adventures! there’s still a couple of gaps in my conception of this au, which is why these are bullet points and not an actual fic, but i think i’ve got enough to progress the plot, such as it is. certainly got a bunch of anecdotes i think are funny

i’m not even going to bother explaining how tauriel ended up in one of the fëanorians’ boltholes being treated for mild injuries

nothing super serious, but enough that she’s out of action for the rest of the night. the palace is on fire

the bolthole opens, and celegorm (who’s doing first aid) turns his head. his preemptive scowl melts away instantly. ‘hi elrond!’

the former lord of imladris just sighs. ‘please tell me you idiots haven’t abducted tauriel’

legolas has concerns, apparently. he saw celegorm vanish into an alleyway with her slung over his shoulder and immediately started panicking

‘i've talked him into delaying his rescue mission until i had the chance to check that she was safe’ elrond finishes, sounding absolutely exhausted

tauriel confirms that she is doing fine, as much as she can through the concussion. celegorm’s like ‘if he’s so worried about her why doesn’t he just come up here’

elrond disappears, and a few minutes later legolas scrambles inside

he’s glaring at celegorm. celegorm tells him where the first aid kit is, punches him on the arm, compliments his tracking skills in a vaguely threatening manner, and jumps back out to assist with the chaos

legolas collapses by tauriel’s bedside, still clutching his bow. tauriel pats him on the thigh reassuringly

neither of them are surprised elrond knows the fëanorians - they stayed in his place in tol eressëa for a while, dude knows literally everyone - but they don’t really know why

closer to dawn, elrond’s voice drifts up into the hideout. he’s going on this long irritated rant that climaxes in an extremely exasperated ‘valardamnit dad!’

maglor cackles. tauriel’s like ‘huh didn’t know that.’ legolas makes a face like he accidentally swallowed a spider

by this point, tauriel’s known the brothers hellspawn for long enough legolas has been unnervingly close to a kinslayer way more times than he’d like

this is the longest he’s spent in proximity to them by far, but it’s not the only time he’s interacted with them. they seem to like tauriel, and he knows she can take care of herself

but like still

it keeps happening, though. as tauriel further ingratiates herself with these awful awful elves, her two separate social circles keep bleeding into each other

take the time legolas and co visited the aulendili

before they left middle-earth, gimli whipped round every dwarf they knew and assembled several volumes of complaints. they refuse to confirm or deny whether aulë is the maker, but they are determined someone’s gonna hear their grievances

and thus a small wagon train of wood elves head up into the mountains. including tauriel

tauriel offhandedly mentioned the upcoming trip to the twins, and amras was like ‘hey we’ve got family up there!’ a few messages went up and down the funicular, and now gimli and crew have a place to crash up there

they’re put up by some of the fëanorians’ less murderous (if equally loud) relatives. it’s a pretty interesting trip

half the town is redheads. several people still mistake tauriel for a fëanorian. it’s been happening a lot in the wider noldorin territory lately, it’s weird

caranthir stumbles up into town about halfway through their visit. he gets into an extremely long philosophical argument with gimli that somehow ends with a mutual dwarven nod of respect

he also ends up fighting back-to-back with tauriel in one of those debatebrawls so common among the noldor. neither of them is quite sure how it happens

that’s the way it goes, isn’t it. there’s no big official moment when tauriel becomes part of the family

she just grows closer to them over her time in valinor, as they do to her

she merges into their social world. she develops a rapport with maglor’s wife - a first age mountain sinda and a third age forest avar don’t have that much in common, but they are both looking at noldorin culture from the outside. they have so many injokes about ridiculous bling

(it goes the other way too. this childhood friend oc of hers i’m developing - pretty sweet guy, the token sane man in the legolas-tauriel-him trinity - gets along really well with celebrimbor)

this one time tauriel punches a guy out for calling elrond a traitor. it doesn’t matter that he’s like three times her age, he is babey

she gets chewed out by maedhros and tests out new devices for curufin and drops in on nerdanel for tea. even though she doesn’t permanently live in the definitely-not-fëanorian quarter, she has her own personal space in its innermost warren

she’s one of them long before anyone consciously realises it

what causes that realisation is, admittedly, partially the conspiracy theories. if you say something often enough, you’ll start to believe it, and while the tauriel origin stories circulating through the noldorin rumour mill vary a lot in the details they all agree she is a fëanorian

but that’s a gradual long-term thing. it’s one more thread that leads to the moment

because there has to be an inflection point, i think. the fëanorians have plenty of family friends within the ranks of their definitely-not-minions. some are even as close to them as tauriel’s become

something has to happen to show she’s something more. fortunately, as demonstrated by the darkening and the númenorian invasion, no matter how peaceful it seems, history never stops

shit goes down. the exact details i’ll admit i don’t know yet, but at some point some sort of massive crisis rocks all of valinor. it’s during that crisis that tauriel does stuff that makes it blindingly obvious she’s not just on her side, but one of them

what stuff? again, i don’t know yet. i have this mental image of her leading a strike team that’s half definitely-not-minions and half legolas’ people through a burning city to do... something badass, but that’s as specific as i can get atm

what i am certain about, is that throughout the unfolding of the crisis, tauriel is permanently on the fëanorians’ side, just like they’re on hers

it’s one thing to be someone’s friend in bright happy days. it’s another thing to stick by them when everything’s falling to pieces and the whole world is against them. it’s in the depths of this crisis that both parties have the chance to fully prove their worth to each other

that probably wouldn’t be enough on its own, but combined with the friendship and the conspiracy theories and just the general way she is, once the dust settles it’s blazingly clear that tauriel is a daughter of the house of fëanor

there’s a little debate about where exactly she fits on the family tree, but not much. our sample size is admittedly small, but third generation fëanorians tend to have the slightest modicum of common sense? elrond and celebrimbor both have a fair degree of self-awareness and at least a few brain cells

tauriel does not. tauriel is mad, bad, and dangerous to know, just smart enough to understand that her sheer chaoticness is something she can channel but not nearly close to regularly thinking through the consequences of her actions. she’s loud and violent and does whatever she wants whenever she wants without a single thought towards what people will think of her

and more than that, she doesn’t relate to the second generation fëanorians the way the third generation does. she’s their friend and partner-in-crime, not one of their precious perfect must-protect children. she gets jerked around and bullied and does all that stuff right back, and while she doesn’t have a solid place in the second generation’s internal hierarchy yet she would easily slot in

no, tauriel’s a second generation fëanorian, one of fëanor and nerdanel’s horrible children. the fact that fëanor is currently indisposed and unable to provide an opinion on the matter doesn’t seem to bother anyone

she gets inducted into the family in a massive group hug, and from then on out the brothers hellspawn are the siblings hellspawn

her new family doesn’t replace her old one, of course, she has a long talk with elrond wherein she hashes this out. she’s still a silvan of the greenwood

she’s just also the little sister of the most bloodthirsty elves in history

(that sound in the background is legolas screaming)

[brachiosaurus-on]

Reverse Unpopular Opinion meme: Who is your SECOND favorite High Republic Jedi?

AAH. THIS IS SO MEAN. Now I have to decide who my FIRST favorite is. AAAHHHH. I hope you can hear me screeching across the internet. I kid, I kid, you know I love an opportunity to scream about my favorite Jedi. BUT WHICH ONE.

How do I decide between Elzar and Stellan??? They're both so amazing?!?!? You know what, we're going to move past that and say Elzar & Stellan are tied for first. That means I have to choose from all the other amazing Jedi. Which is... not any easier.

I'll rule out Vernestra because I haven't finished her books yet, so I wouldn't be able to properly scream about her. I'll rule out Avar because if you have Elzar & Stellan you already know Avar is somewhere nearby and it becomes redundant.

I'm leaning towards Loden or Bell. I mean, Bell is such a good character. And he comes with Ember, who, I would like to remind everyone, breathes fire. Is Ember an option? But Loden is so... yeah, ok, so let me scream about how much I love Loden. Below the cut. Because haha, this is going to be so long and you did ask for it.

Loden Greatstorm appreciation below the cut. Spoilers for Light of the Jedi.

Ahaha ok, here we go. All images are from Light of the Jedi by Charles Soule.

We'll start with his teaching methods, which Bell lovingly describes in this excerpt from page 36.

His primary teaching philosophy is "why should I do it when I could make you do it" 😂😂😂 I love him. (I also love that Bell knows this is for his own benefit and not Loden being lazy)

And though Bell has long suffered having to do everything, this is how he describes his master, who is capable of doing something, should he so please. Excerpt from page 37.

And we do see what those enormous reservoirs of strength can do. Being a Jedi is not about being a badass but damn, does Loden pull off both. He is powerful.

OKAY. Now let's talk about his sense of humor because this is easily the best part of his character. When Bell is struggling with the Jedi cultural tradition skill of yeeting yourself from high places, this is his extremely helpful suggestion. Excerpt from page 60.

"HOW ABOUT I THROW YOU OFF A SKYSCRAPER, THAT SHOULD HELP YOU FIGURE IT OUT, RIGHT BELL???" LODEN, PLEASE. He might actually be worse than Obi-Wan "good job" Kenobi. Bell should be knighted just for putting up with him. Actually no, Bell gets the honor of putting up with him. Poor Bell just says "Yeah, great idea Master." and Loden responds "I know, right? Aren't I so funny?" Yes, Loden, yes you are.

But even better, is that HE ACTUALLY DOES IT. Excerpts from pages 158 and 160.

Bell is just out here trying to enjoy the view and not jump to his death and LODEN PUSHES HIM OFF A CLIFF. "I believe in you." THAT'S ALL HE SAYS. AND THEN HE PUSHES HIM OFF THE CLIFF. I CAN NEVER READ THIS WITHOUT CACKLING. Never change, Loden, never change.

Let's rewind to this exchange with a guard during the Hetzal Disaster. Excerpt from page 63.

This entire exchange is a joy (everyone go read the full version). Loden has complete control of the situation he's basically just trolling the guard. This is another thing about Loden, he's always smiling. He's like Kit Fisto. We do love our green Jedi Masters with long tentacles/lekku. But also, he has prearranged signals with Bell and I love that. Those two are such a good team.

Here's a continuation of the events. Excerpt from page 82.

"They must have misunderstood the understanding." I love him. He's perfect. But also, he's so Jedi at the same time. He recognizes "They're afraid. They're trying to carve out a little control from an uncontrollable situation." And he teaches this to Bell. He knows that people want to feel like they're in control, especially when they're afraid. But in pointing this out, it tells us that he knows it's beyond his control and that he understands and practices Jedi philosophy. Loden is perfect and I will hear no criticisms.

Moving on to what he does for fun... Excerpt from page 173.

"But maybe I want to fight a hundred chromants." Loden, please. This is not a normal thing to do for fun. Have you tried screaming about the Jedi on tumblr? Ok, maybe I shouldn't be talking.

He also loves and appreciates his fellow Jedi. In fact, he regularly gets distracted by how amazing they are. Excerpts from pages 202 and 261.

He's so mesmerized by Porter that he's not paying attention to anything else and their Vanguard gets blown up 😂😂😂 pay attention to your surroundings, Loden! I wish that Soule had described Porter's face after that happened, like "what were you two idiots doing while they blew up the ship?" At least he thought to take the ship's laser canon, and then fire the laser canon from his shoulder. The laser canon. Designed for a ground-based version of the Vector (their star fighters). He fired a spaceship gun from his shoulder as if it was a blaster. And he didn't even break his step. Loden is a gift.

And when Indeera shows up flying two Vectors (with her MIND) "By the light, look at her go." LODEN, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE RESCUING A KIDNAPPED FAMILY. Ok, to be fair, I would also get distracted by Jedi being amazing and this is not an uncommon occurrence in High Republic. All of the Jedi are so impressed with each other, they're just like "wow." Sparkles in their eyes and everything.

[badger-writes]

Star Wars OC Ship Week 2021 - for light and love

2 - Fluff/Humor

“...And then I told him my name was ‘Kolto’,” Kelto despaired to Jora Malli later, in the Temple Refectory.

Jora pursed her lips sympathetically, nodding. For the better part of the lunch hour, she had endured her fellow Jedi Knight’s attempt to process the encounter which had transpired between himself and Knight Sskeer in the medical bay earlier that morning. To say he was taking it rather poorly was, well - not exactly correct.

“You did well to come to a friend for support,” she said neutrally, cutting into her shaak steak - a staple of Togruta cuisine. “In my experience, attempting to bottle your emotions concerning these experiences never ends well. Instead of deferring a resolution for later, you seek closure now, so you might move on. ‘There is no emotion - ‘”

“‘There is peace’, yeah, I know, I know.” Kelto groaned and sank his face into his palms, propping his elbows on either side of his platter of Rodian foodstuffs. “Not a whole lot of peace going on here right now, though…”

“Okay - then walk me through what you’re feeling. How would you describe your emotions?”

“Uhhh… Frazzled? Flustered? Deeply conflicted and anxious? I mean, you know, with me that’s not so much a him thing as an in general thing, but, you know - ”

“Kelto,” she said, a touch sternly.

“Sorry, sorry.” 

He sighed, picked out a cranker root from the corner of his plate, and broke into it with his teeth. As he chewed, Jora looked over his right shoulder as surreptitiously as he could; sitting at another table, head bowed over his own meal, was Sskeer himself. How he’d managed to occupy the table behind them without Kelto noticing, she had no clue, but presumed he’d been too wound up in venting his emotions to notice.

From the way Sskeer had oriented his chair and met her gaze in furtive glances, she could tell he was listening. Knowing what she knew of her mutual friends, she was willing to hazard a guess that he was harboring similar conflict, though he would never say so aloud.

Perhaps the Force was providing her an opportunity to resolve both sides of this spiritual conflict at once.

“Start from the beginning,” she said, after a sip of water. “When you first saw him. What was your reaction?”

“At first? Um, well…” Kelto gulped. “Well, the first thing I noticed is that he was huge, right? Not like Dowutin huge, of course, but this guy could take an airbus going 50 over the speed regulations straight to the chest and not even feel it. A-and buff, too. Burly, even. The kind of physique a sentient like me can only dream of. The kind you chisel out of marble and put in the Galactic Museum a couple hundred years later. It was - he was very handsome, is all I’ll say.”

Sskeer, leaning over his dish, perked up. A bemused smirk plied its way onto his face. 

“I’m fairly certain he’s not that physically impressive,” Jora cut in, speaking to them both.

“I mean, yeah, probably not. But that’s just how I felt! I couldn’t help it, I jumped straight into awkwardly crushing on him and I’d only seen him for like two seconds.”

“And then you saw his many scorch marks. From his errant training session.”

“Right,” Kelto said, as Sskeer snorted behind him. “Which - should probably be the first thing I pick up on, as a healer. But what do you want me to say? This morning was almost as much of a disaster as I am.”

“Kelto,” she said warningly.

“I-I can’t help it, Jora. I make jokes when I feel nervous or awkward. Which is almost all the time.”

“But they don’t all need to have you as the butt,” she said, jabbing at him through the air with her fork. “Be kinder to yourself, please. Make it a habit. For me?”

“R-right. Sorry.”

“Keep going. What did you think when you first started talking?”

The Rodian took a slice of galma fruit and popped it into his mouth, chewing and swallowing quickly. “To be honest, I thought he was a nut,” he said with a shrug.

This time when Sskeer glanced over, he looked just a touch offended.

“A nut,” Jora repeated. The surprise in her voice was largely an affectation; she knew Sskeer had adopted odd, borderline overzealous habits in the pursuit of becoming a Jedi Guardian. She teased him for it occasionally, a reaction to which he’d become accustomed. Here, though, she sensed an opportunity for someone else to do her dragging for her - apparently quite candidly.

“Oh, sure. I mean, who else do you know sets the training droids a couple notches above safety standards so he can really feel it when he gets spanked with a training saber, huh?”

She sputtered into her cup, lifting a hand to hide a smile. She really wouldn’t have taken that drink if she knew that sentence was coming.

“Right?!” Kelto gestured animatedly, oblivious to Sskeer glaring daggers over his shoulder. “How is that supposed to make you a better Jedi?”

“I’m sure he has good reasons,” she coughed, thumping her chest. “Being a protector - it requires a certain discipline.”

“I wouldn’t call that discipline. I’d call that masochism. But only because I’m a coward,” he confessed.

“Be kind.”

“It’s a joke!”

“You say it too easily. Like you believe it’s the truth.”

“It kind of is. That’s what makes it funny.”

She gave him a look. Sskeer did, too. His was less pointed, though.

“Assuming that’s true,” Jora continued, “Allow me to pull from your earlier statements two points: one, you find him physically attractive. Two, his habits confuse you. Would you say that’s accurate?”

“Yes and yes.”

“Very well. Is there anything else that you’d like to joke about, since that’s apparently the only way of pulling a straight answer out of you?”

“I can give straight answers!”

“Feel free anytime, for Force’s sake.”

Sskeer was smirking again, she noticed, poking around on his plate. Apparently, he found the way her scheme to annoy him with secondhand ridicule had imploded on her amusing, the bastard.

Kelto sighed, deflating slightly. “I - look, I’m sure he’s not as strange as I’m making him out to be. Just, you know… really serious. But I didn’t really get much else out of him while he was there.”

“You used Force healing on him, as I recall. That didn’t merit any kind of response?”

“O-oh yeah, I did do that! He seemed… pretty impressed, I guess. I - wasn’t really expecting that, to be honest.”

“And he caught you before you passed out. That’s something, isn’t it?”

“True, true. And then he held me up til I recov - “ Suddenly, Kelto’s cheeks went a deep shade of green. “A-actually, let’s not get back into that part.”

“Why?” Jora cocked her head, montrals shifting. “I wasn’t aware there was anything wrong with catching feelings unexpectedly.”

“I mean - mmmaybe not, no. I - I just don’t think I, you know, kept control of them very well there.”

“We’re only mortal, Kelto. You’re in your right to forgive an occasional emotion.”

“I--” The Rodian checked over his shoulder - the wrong one - and leaned in close, framing his huge, panicky eyes with both hands. “Jora, I was full-on touching his chest.”

Behind him, Sskeer’s eyes went wide, and he too wound up coughing water back into his glass. It served him right, Jora thought.

“He was holding you in his arms,” she said evenly. “You were disoriented. Worse things have happened.”

“Y-yeah, but - but I don’t want to end up like that horndog Elzar Mann!”

No sooner had Sskeer finished clearing his lungs than he had to duck and press his face into the crook of his elbow to stifle a laugh, so as to avoid being discovered.

“Really, have you seen that guy make eyes at Avar Kriss lately?” Kelto continued conspiratorially. “They hide it so poorly! It’s a wonder the Council hasn’t stepped in yet.”

“I doubt it’s much of a priority for either Master Lahru, Veter, or Yoda to be poking their noses into what two consenting adults do in the privacy of their bedchambers.”

“I mean - if word ever really gets out, it technically will be!”

“Only technically,” she retorted.

Kelto blinked. “Oh no,” he murmured. “This isn’t going to be another one of your lectures, is it?”

Jora hesitated for only half a second. “All I’m saying is if you really look at the Code--”

“If you start talking about the difference between celibacy and purity again--”

“‘Attachment’ is not the same thing as connection, to suggest otherwise is such a literalist misinterpretation--”

Gesticulating, Jora caught the eye of Sskeer again. He was grinning like a nexu, the scaly skink.

“What I mean to say is,” she said, waving her hands in some vague effort to get them both back on-track, “There’s nothing wrong with what you’re feeling right now, Kelto. Nothing whatsoever. It’s only a natural part of life, just like joy and sorrow.”

“Yeah, duh,” he replied, peeling a hardboiled vakiir egg. “Not my first day out of the creche. It just - I don’t know, it feels weird not being able to act on it.”

“Why?”

“Well, the big one is the Code, but let’s not get into that again. The other half is - well, Jora, I barely know him. I don’t even know if he likes me as a person, let alone romantically, or… you know, like that. But I can’t imagine he would.”

Jora risked a peek, raising an eyebrow. Sskeer shrugged, nonplussed, in a manner that communicated either that he could take or leave him - or just the general sentiment of ‘what do you want from me?’. Possibly both at once. In return, she flattened the eyebrow and pursed her lips to sardonically ‘thank’ him for his ‘help’.

“Why do you presuppose the inevitability of rejection, in either case?”

“I just - I don’t know, I’m a pessimist. What else do you want me to say, Jora? We live in totally different worlds.”

“Not that different. You are both Jedi. And remember what he called you before he left - a credit to the Order, I believe were his words?”

“That’s what everyone says after getting Force healed,” Kelto grumbled, rubbing the back of his head under his pom.

She shook her head doubtfully, skewering another bite of steak. “You’re focused too much on the banality of your own excellence,” she said, chewing. “Think back to his reaction. How he spoke to you. The way he looked at you. What did he think of you while you were together?”

He shrugged helplessly. Then his brow furrowed in thought. “Well, I guess… there were times when he seemed to pick up on - you know, everything I was going through. Granted, I wasn’t being very subtle, but…

“I guess I’d say he was being… patient? Like he understood I was a little… distracted by him. Well, he was a little touchy about the ‘masochist’ comment, but… he didn’t, like, tell me to settle down or anything. And then there were some weird moments where he - I don’t know, was trying to joke with me?”

“How so?”

“Like... being sort-of flirty, but not really? Like when he leaned back on the table, he had this little smile, and then when he left he sort of whispered right into my ear? Little things like that.”

“Oh yes. ‘Little things’. Like whispering in your ear.”

Kelto blinked owlishly. “... I mean. Do people not… do that?”

“Generally, in polite company? No.”

“Oh.” Kelto’s flush deepened. “Oh.”

“You really should leave the healing halls and try talking to people every once in a while, Kelto.”

“You don’t think he was…? F-for me? And I missed it??”

“I don’t know,” Jora hummed. “Without him here to speak for himself, I can’t say. I suppose you’ll have to ask him yourself.”

Kelto whined, sinking his face into his hands. “But that means I have to talk to him,” he protested.

“Yes,” she replied bluntly. “That’s how having a dialogue is supposed to work.”

“I-I can’t talk to him! I mean-- I made such a fool of myself earlier! You really think I can just… speak to him, normally?”

“Well, if you don’t, what’s your backup plan?”

“Useless gay pining, mostly. Or leaving the Order, maybe?”

“Kelto.”

“Look at me, Jora. I’m not built to carry a torch for anybody. I-I can barely make eye contact with people I’m not crushing on. My best chance at this point is just going back to the healing halls and hoping he doesn’t come back in too often. Maybe I’ll move rooms, now that he knows where my ward is. I’ll ask about it.”

“You can’t just hide from your problems in the medical bay, Kelto.”

“Why not? I--” Kelto bit the inside of his cheek and sighed. “Dammit, Jora, what else am I supposed to do?”

She dropped her fork on her plate and framed the sides of her face with her hands, as he had done earlier. “Literally just talk to him.”

“H-how? I’m not - I’m not brave enough, okay? What am I supposed to do?”

She groaned, folding her palms over her eyes. Through her fingers, she could see Sskeer raising his brow, lifting out of his chair slightly; not yet, she thought, shaking her head just slightly. He sat back down, but still seemed concerned.

“Indulge me,” Jora said finally, leaning her elbows on the table and holding out her hands towards Kelto, as if she were trying to physically channel the confidence to hold a single conversation into him through the Force. “Take a moment, don’t think about how you think you did, or what you thought he was thinking, in those moments. Don’t think about possible futures where you’re together or just friends or outright rejected. Just-- think about what you felt. How he made you feel. Don’t focus on yourself. Just find your center, search your feelings... and tell me what you find.”

Kelto opened his mouth - closed it - looked down at the tabletop, drumming his fingers. “I…”

From behind, Sskeer watched him think. Anticipation glimmered in his eyes.

“...I like him,” Kelto decided. “Really, I do. He’s… patient and serious, and respectful, once you earn it. A little intense, obviously, but… strong, and driven. I’d… I want to know him better. However that happens.”

“And your other feelings?”

He took a slow, deep breath. “I… can move past them, if I really have to. It’s what we’re trained for. It’s just… powerful, I guess is the word. I didn’t see it coming. It… knocked me off my feet.”

“I’m told that’s often how it feels,” Jora said kindly.

He nodded shyly.

“Do you plan to ask him?”

“Not - not right away, I don’t think. I-- that’s not the right foot for any relationship to get off on, I don’t think. Like putting the hovercart before the roth, you know? It’d define the whole-- no, no. I want to start as friends. And if he turns me down, then… then we’ll stay friends, and I’ll be okay. I- I want to do it right. … For both of us. For him, mostly, but… yeah.”

Kelto shrugged as he finished, going back to picking at his plate. Behind him, Sskeer’s face had shifted just enough that Jora knew he’d been affected.

“Well said,” she said simply, as Sskeer took his plate and stood.

“You think so?”

“Well, it was better put than the lust-flavored word vomit you began with.”

“Look, when I say the man’s thighs are like wroshyr trunks and his chest is like a set of Weequay thunder drums, I’m only half-joking. He’s genuinely an impressive specimen. It’s a compliment.”

“You get to say all of that, but I’m the one bending the Code?”

He snorted. “Jora, please. We may be technically sworn to celibacy, sure, but we’re not dead, either.”

“Pardon me,” a deep voice said from behind him.

Kelto bit down on a yelp. Every joint in his body seemed to lock up so he sat straight upright. His eyes went as wide as the Temple’s dinner platters.

“Jedi Sskeer,” Jora Malli said, conversationally. “What a lovely surprise.”

“I couldn’t help but overhear someone talking rather loudly about myself,” he replied easily, “so I thought I’d stop by. Is this seat taken?”

“Not at all. Please, join us.”

He sat down right next to Kelto. The Rodian seemed to shrink, quailing.

“How much did you overhear, incidentally?” Jora asked, returning to finish off the last of her steak.

“Enough to know better than to take offense,” Sskeer replied, tucking into his karkan ribene. “Life is too ssshort to worry about the occasional social faux pas, isn’t it, little healer?”

Kelto’s throat bobbled. He looked to Jora to throw him a lifeline; in response, she only raised her eyebrows.

His eyes rolled back to the plate before him - then narrowed. He set his jaw and took a long, gulping swallow of his Rodian ale, an action that left his snout twisting for a moment afterward. Then he turned in his seat towards the Trandoshan.

“We should probably start over,” he said, putting out his hand. “I’m Kelto. Kelto Lem. It’s - great to meet you, Sskeer.”

Sskeer sent Jora a sidelong glance. She nodded.

“Likewise,” he returned, clasping the Rodian’s hand in his own.

“Um - no hard feelings about… anything from earlier, right?”

“Consider the slate wiped clean.”

“Oh. … Good.” That was easy, his eyes seemed to say, as he disengaged from the handshake.

Jora Malli sensed her work here was done. “I have a velocities demonstration with the younglings coming up,” she said, gathering her utensils and standing up. “I suppose I’ll leave you to it.”

“Of course,” Sskeer said graciously. He turned back to Kelto. “Would you prefer to move to the other side of the table, that we may face each other?”

Kelto blinked. “Uh - sure! You, you won’t mind, will you, Jora?”

“Don’t look at me,” she said, shrugging. “I won’t even be here.” She turned, deposited her empty plate and glass at an appropriate refuse station, and departed without further fanfare.

Gingerly, Kelto repositioned himself and his lunch to the other side of the table, sitting right before Sskeer. When he pushed in his chair, he seemed to be sitting a little taller.

“So, uh. Hello again.”

Sskeer smiled, shook his head, and took a bite of ribene.

[arofili]

Dialogue meme: “You’re trembling.” For RogxMaedhros cause I am getting so deep into that Ship I need a lifejacket💚

(This got longer than anticipated! I wanted to figure out my feelings on how they came together, and how Fingon fit into the picture, and then they were talking about names and it turned into this. I’ll probably post this as its own work on AO3, not part of the drabble comp, because I like it a lot! But that won’t be til I’m done with all of these, lol. Anyway - enjoy!)

~

24. “You’re trembling.”

Maitimo froze. Behind him, Rôg sighed. “I did not mean to startle you. Forgive me, my lord.”

“No—please don’t call me that,” he rasped. “Just...” And again he found himself unable to say it, the name he’d always called himself. Maitimo he was no longer, but Russandol was Finno’s name for him and it felt wrong to give it away even if he could no longer look Finno in the eye, and Nelyafinwë would not do at all, not for a follower of of Nolofinwë...

And there he was, shaking again. Rôg crouched in front of him, his dark eyes steady. “Can I hold your hand?” he asked.

“I...what?” Maitimo said.

“Your hand.” Rôg extended his own: rough, callused, scarred. He was missing half his ring finger past the knuckle. “I find it helps, sometimes, if someone is there to ground you.”

No one had held his hand since... He shuddered, trying not to remember, and extended his palm. Rôg’s grip was firm, and despite himself Maitimo relaxed.

“Thank you,” he whispered, glancing back up into Rôg’s eyes. This was the one nér he had managed to look in the eye for longer than a moment since he had been freed—the one nér who looked at him with understanding, not pity or fear or hate.

Rôg looked nothing like him: he was broad-shouldered, not too tall, dark of skin and hair, and his scars were from hard labor in the mines, not the torture Maitimo had been forced to endure. He was an Avar who swore himself into Nolofinwë’s service; his loyalties were not to Maitimo. But he had been to Angamando and made his way out, and he knew, he knew what the others could not, and he knew how to help.

“You...your name,” he found himself saying. He wasn’t trembling anymore; Rôg seemed to absorb his excess energy into that firm and solid body. “Is it...Avarin?”

Rôg laughed, a low rumble that woke something in Maitimo he didn’t know he still could feel. “My first name was Rōka,” he said. “Strength, in the Hwendi tongue. But when I was taken, I fought like a demon, they said, and when they broke me they named me Rôg. A bastardized name, some said. A name to make me less elvish, more like them, others said. When I escaped I kept the name. I am a demon—but I am a demon to them. They will fear me and know me by the name they gave me, know who it is that will destroy them.”

This time, Maitimo shudder was of a different kind: not of fear but of admiration. Yes, this is what he wanted to be: vengeful, strong. Like the Valcaraucar—Balrogs, in the Þindarin tongue. Fire demons. Rōka was their demon; he could be, perhaps, their fire.

“I...admire that,” he said at last. “Very much.”

“You said not to call you ‘lord.’” Rôg tilted his head. “But you did not give me a name by which to call you.”

“None of my old names fit,” he admitted. Rôg rubbed circles on his hand with his thumb, and the tension slowly eased out of him as he continued. “But Moringotto...he did not give me a new name. I do not know what to call myself anymore.”

Rôg thought for a moment. “I am not one of your loremasters in the speech of these lands, or in the ones you came from,” he said. “But perhaps you could find what you like of the names you were given, and craft them into something new. Something you choose. I hear that the other lords are changing their names, to speak better with the Sindar. You may have to change it anyway.”

“Hm,” Maitimo said. “That is a thought.” He liked the idea; perhaps he would take the Mait from his amilessë, for he liked the sound. And Russ from the name Finno gave him, because despite all else he endured his hair still blazed like russet fire. Certainly Nelya would not do, not if he went through with his plan to cede the crown to Nolofinwë; Finwë would be pointless after removing himself and his brothers from the line of succession...

He lost himself in his thoughts, happily still for the first time in days. At last, Rôg rose, and to his surprise Maitimo found himself clutching his hand, not wanting him to leave.

“Oh?” Rôg said, a sharp-toothed smile glinting at him. “Do you wish me to stay, friend?”

Friend. Yes, that was something he was happy to be called—someone’s friend, someone’s equal. Not the poor thing Findekáno dragged home from the cliffside, not the fallen prince or Kinslayer waiting to bite the hand that fed him. A friend, a companion.

“If...you would,” Maitimo (Mait-russ?) admitted. “I...you are better company than any other. And—you bring me peace. I want you here.”

It felt strange, to say those words, when he thought he never would again, and with someone who was not Finno... But Finno treated him different now, no less loving, no less kind; in fact, even more, and that was what stifled him. It was too much; perhaps later, they could rekindle what they had, but now, he needed a nér who was solid, who was strong, who was real. A nér like Rôg.

“I want you,” he whispered as Rôg knelt back down, drawing his new friend closer. “I did not think I would want again, but I do, and you are...”

“Do you want me to kiss you, my friend?” Rôg rumbled, and Maitruss (no, Maedhros, with the Þindarin words, he would soon decide) blushed. “I know how it feels to miss touch, intimacy, and yet fear it. We need not do anything else.”

We, he said, and the word was sweet on his tongue. Maedhros clung tighter to his hand and Rôg cupped his face with the other that he could not hold, and then kissed him, and oh—his lips were even sweeter.

[hello-robin-goodfellow]

Assorted Self Ships: Yakovlev x Rebeca (Me)

🍬Assorted Selfship Asks 🍭

@amalthea9​

🎨 How would you describe your ship aesthetic? (Include a moodboard if you like!)

🎁 Have you and your FO(s) given each other any meaningful gifts, material or otherwise? What are they and why are they special?

The first present my Yakovlev gave to me was a blue ribbon. When we got married, his aunt Masha told me about the “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue” charm that gives luck in marriages, and i used it as both my something new and blue. I still wear that ribbon in every special ocasion. Later, i made the only gift i could make for him: a pair of new boots. Also, my always husband gives me sunflowers when he can. And he says that our son, Liev, is the greatest presen i gave to him.

📖 Is there a quote/lyric that fits you and your FO(s)?

An old hebrew love song called Et Dodim Kala, wich means A Time of Lovers:

Et dodim kallah, bo'i el gani; Et dodim kallah, bo'i el gani: Parchah hagefen, heinetzu rimonim. ( A time for lovers, my bride: Come to my garden; A time for lovers, my bride: Come to my garden: The vine has blossomed, The pomegranates have budded).  

Et dodim kallah, bo'i el gani; Et dodim kallah, bo'i el gani. Parchah hagefen. heinetzu rimonim, Parchah hagefen, heinetzu rimonim.

( A time for lovers, my bride: Come to my garden; A time for lovers, my bride: Come to my garden; The vine has blossomed, The pomegranates have budded. The vine has blossomed, The pomegranates have budded). Chalaf hageshem hastav avar; Chalaf hageshem, hastav avar. Kumi ra'ayati hacheshek gavar, Kumi ra'ayati hacheshek gavar.

( The rain is gone, Winter is over; The rain is gone, Winter is over. Arise, my loving companion, For desire grows strong. Arise, my loving companion, For desire grows strong). Yaradnu chevrah lir'ot beganim; Yaradnu chevrah lir'ot beganim. Sham babayit dodi, einayich yonim, Sham babayit dodi, einayich yonim.

( A group of us went down To graze in the gardens; A group of us went down To graze in the gardens; There, in the house, is my love, Your eyes are like doves; There, in the house, is my love, Your eyes are like doves); Yafit vena'amt, kesheleg shinech; Yafit vena'amt, kesheleg shinech. D'vash vechalav tachat leshonech, D'vash vechalav tachat leshonech.

( Beautiful and pleasant, Your teeth are like snow; Beautiful and pleasant, Your teeth are like snow. Honey and milk under your tongue, Honey and milk under your tongue). Et dodim kallah, bo'i el gani; Et dodim kallah, bo'i el gani. Parchah hagefen; heinetzu rimonim; Parchah hagefen, heinetzu rimonim.

(A time for lovers, my bride: Come to my garden; A time for lovers, my bride: Come to my garden; The vine has blossomed, The pomegranates have budded. The vine has blossomed, The pomegranates have budded).

🐚 What do you do to feel close to each other when you have to be apart?

When i was still living in Ekaterinbourg, we wrote letters to each other. Later when got to live together in Moscow and married, Yakovlev presented me to the telephone.

🤗 How do you and your FO(s) express affection for each other? Do you tend to engage in PDA?

When we are alone, Yakovlev caresses my hair and kisses my botton lip. In public, we show our affection running to hug each other, and he starts to cover me in kisses.

🧗‍♂️ Are you and/or your FO(s) the adventurous types? What kind of adventures do you undergo together?

Yakovlev surely is an adventure. Me? I value tranquility and stability inside my house.

😚 What was your first kiss with your FO(s) like?  How did you and your FO(s) react?

We exchanged our first kiss when Yakovlev made a second visit to my family’s house on Ekaterinbourg after months, to personally ask for my hand in marriage. He enjoyed trough and trough, while i was at the same time excited to be kissing him and nervous due to fear be doing it wrong. He insists that our kiss was perfect.

🧸 Do you have any items irl that remind you of your FO(s)?

We still guard the letters that we exchanged. My blue ribbon is still smong the letters i received from him. And soon after we married, Yakovlev asked our friend Benjamin, who is a photojournalist, to take a picture of me that he could put on a locket that was from his father and that he always wears on his neck.

💋 What are the kisses you share typically like? What kind of kisses do you prefer? (eg. ‘good morning’ kiss, ‘i missed you’ kiss, kisses in the rain, etc.)

When Yakovlev comes back home from his work with the Party, we run to hug each other and he gives me passionate kisses on the face, eyes, and mouth.

When he moans kissing my mouth, i can’t avoid blushing.

📚 How do you spend your free time together? Do you usually go out or do you prefer to stay in?

Usually we stay in, talking, reading or playing games like chest. But sometimes Yakovlev’s companions make some dance parties, and he takes me along to dance with them.

🍯 Do you and your FO (s) use pet names for each other?

I call him “Yakov”. And he calls me  “Solnechnyy svet” (Sun Ray).

💕 Would a stranger meeting you and your FO(s) for the first time be able to tell that you’re together? If so, how would they be able to tell?

At first a stranger wouldn’t believe we are married, because i am jewish. But then that stranger would have to shut up after seeing the wedding rings we use.

🌱 How have you and your FO(s) changed each others’ lives?

  I spend most years of my life with fear. My Yakov gives me hope, optimism, confort and courage.

And my Yakov says that i changed his life because i bring him the feeling of peace that he was looking for, after having being forced to fight in the Great War.

🥰 What was the first thing that attracted you to your FO(s)? What was the first thing that attracted them to you? Who fell first?

At first i was afrayed when i saw his soldier uniform and his horse. But Yakovlev surprised me by speaking with kindness and respect to me and my sisters. The more we talked with each other, the more i was impressed by his stories of sailling the ocean, and fighting in distant battles, and deciding to rebel against the Tzar. I tought: “He is so brave. What a man. What a hero”.

 While Yakovlev says he liked what he described as my simple and honest beauty. We fell for each other at the same, but he was the first to admit it.

⚔ Are you and/or your FO(s) protective? How do they react if you get hurt and vice-versa?

Yakovlev is very protective of me, specially after i miscarried our first child and had to rest during all of my second pregnancy. It got to a point of him skeeping meals so i would eat more during the gestation. When i discovered it, I had to beg him to stop before he got anemic. And when le leaves to his work in the party, i always pray for him that he never get caught in a armed conflict. If anyone of us get hurt or ill, we get at each others side, holding hands and calling: “Don’t die. Stay with me”.

👀 Any spicy headcanons about your FO(s)/your relationship?

I’m a discret woman. And for me, spicy is a therm you use to talk about food. Or about discussions between rabis that are disagreeing about the Talmud.

🕯 How would you and your FO(s) pass the time if the power went out?

Talking, telling tales. And them we go to sleep.

💘 How did you and your FO(s) meet? What was your first interaction like? Was it love at first sight or did you take some time to warm up to each other?

 We met when he stranded with his companions in Ekaterinbourg, having to wait for six days to the train that would take him to Moscow finnish maintenance. He brought the boots of his companions for me and my sister Noemi to fix. When i saw him on his hourse, i runned to hide, thinking it was the start of a pogrom. But Noemi calmed me down and called me, sayinng that he had dismounted and tied the horse. He told me about his situtation of being stranded during six days, and when we talked about the boots i promissed him to fix them in four days, because the other two would correspond to the Shabbat. Yakovlev asked the price of the work, and we sayed one scent for all. And he answered: “Oh please, i know that such hard work of fixing boots pair by pair with your hands costs way more them that. Come on, tell me the real price”. It was the first time a gentile wanted to pay us rightfully. After we fixed the boots, i invited Yakovlev for supper with my family during the Shabbat. He accepted it, and was so respectfull and curious about our ritual during the night. We armed with each as friends during those days, and them even more when we started to write letters for each other.

🤩 What do you most admire about your FO(s)? What do they admire most about you?

I admire how my Yakovlev is brave to fight for his beliefs on justice and equality. And he says he admires how i am hard working and resilient in the face of adversity. 

[rvexillology]

The Caucasus has some pretty cool flags, doesn't it? (Explanations in comments)

from /r/vexillology Top comment: **A few things I wanted to note first:** - It was probably dumb of me to list Ossetia and Dagestan separately from the rest of the Caucasus. Dagestan is very much Ciscaucasian, Ossetia is split between Cis- and Transcaucasia. - The surrogate tricolor used for Ciscaucasia is one which according to an unreliable-looking Italian vex site was used by the MRNC shortly before they adopted their more well-known American-style flag. - The surrogate tricolor used for Transcaucasia is the one used by the short-lived Transcaucasian Democratic Federative Republic. - I've vaguely heard that the names Cis- and Transcaucasia are disliked by Caucasians. If you're Caucasian and the names offend you, then sorry. I just didn't want to use longer names than necessary. - The listing of a flag here doesn't guarantee its official or unofficial use. So, think of these more as *some* flags *for* rather than *the* flags *of*. - Please don't talk about whether or not Abkhazia, South Ossetia, and Artsakh should or shouldn't be recognized. - Abkhazia is sometimes considered part of Ciscaucasia for cultural and linguistic reasons, although it is geographically Transcaucasian. - I used the Georgian name of Akhalgori/Leningor because that's what Wikipedia uses. - There are tons of really cool ethnic and city flags which I didn't list, plus some more Southern Russian flags which may or may not be Ciscaucasian depending on your definition. - There are also tons of really cool emblems and anthems you might want to check out. - Sorry if some of the pictures are a bit low-quality. Now, time to quickly explain these flags. **Please correct any mistakes.** I'm sure there's at least one. **Ciscaucasia:** - Krasnodar Krai's flag is the Kuban People's Republic's defaced with a golden version of the krai's coat of arms. Said coat of arms is heavily based on the one used by Kuban Oblast in Imperial times. - Adygea's flag is the same as the flag of Circassia. Green is nature and Islam, yellow is wheat, nine stars in the arc are the aristocratic tribes of Circassia, three horizontal stars are the democratic tribes, and the three arrows represent unity between the original princely families of Circassia. - Stavropol Krai's flag has a yellow field to represent sunshine and agriculture, and a pure white cross to reference the name (from "Stauropolis", Greek for "City of the Cross"). The cross also represents Stavropol Krai as "crossroads" between Europe and Asia, and Russia and the Caucasus. - Karachay-Cherkessia's flag is unofficially said to have sky blue for Turks, green for Adyghes, and red for Slavs. The central emblem represents the beauty of the Caucasus. - Kabardino-Balkaria's flag features a representation of Mt. Elbrus, which is located there. I think I read somewhere that the blue represents the Turkic Balkars, green the Adyghe Kabardians, and white the peace between them, but I'm not sure where. - Ingushetia's flag has green for Islam, white for purity, and red for the struggle against injustice. I do have to wonder if the colors are related to the Ichkerian flag. In the middle is a traditional solar sign, with three rays for the oneness of past, present, and future. - Chechnya's flag uses the Chechen colors, also found on the Ichkerian flag often used in its place. Green is Islam, red is bloody history, white is peace and the mountains. At the hoist is a traditional ornamental pattern. **Ossetia:** - Tskhinvali's flag shows the city emblem on a white field. This emblem features Ossetian colors, three towers, a sunrise, the name, the key to the city, the Nartamonga bowl from Ossetian mythology, and an Aryan symbol of harmony and perpetual motion with a 12-string harp. - Eredvi, Akhalgori, Tigva, and Kurta's flags are similar to their respective coats of arms. The flags and arms were designed by heraldists of the Georgian government, using patriotic Georgian motifs. I couldn't find any further information. Interestingly, Eredvi and Kurta are abandoned. - Mozdok is the only city in North Ossetia with a flag of its own. It's based on the coat of arms, itself based on the Imperial-era arms, with additional stripes at the bottom. I couldn't find the significance of the saffron flower. **Dagestan:** - This Avar flag features stylized mountains, a Hunnic wolf, a crescent moon, and a banner with an ancient Avar swastika symbol. This is based on the symbol of the historical Avarian Khanate. Variants change the colors or drop the mountains. - This Dargin flag is officially the flag of Dakhadayevsky Raion, where many Dargins live. The eagle with a traditional Caucasian dagger represents the Caucasian man, master of the mountains, striving upwards towards wisdom and spiritual perfection. - This Kumyk flag has blue, green, and a star and crescent for Turkic heritage and Islam, and red for the "national self-image". The triskele represents the eternal cycle of being in Tengrism. The horse is the Kumyk's eternal companion, the wolf represents freedom, and Umai-Ana is the ancestress and patroness of the Kumyks. - Lezgians use many similar flags. Sometimes it's simple stripes, sometimes it has "ALPAN" (Lezgian for "Caucasian Albania") written in Caucasian Albanian letters, sometimes an emblem with an eagle and stars, sometimes both, sometimes other variations still. Red is bloody history, white is peace, green is Islam. - This Lak flag has a stylized mountain range and a picture of an eagle. I can only imagine the meaning is similar to those in other flags with similar elements. - This Tsakhur flag depicts the mountains, with seven stars for the seven countries Tsakhurs have been under throughout history. "TSAKHUR" is written in Caucasian Albanian letters. Green is Islam, white is Tsakhur scientists, and red represents a bloody history. - This Nogay/Nogai flag has a winged she-wolf to represent the Ashina tribe, the ancient leaders of the Turks. The colors presumably also represent Nogays' Turkic heritage. **Transcaucasia:** - The flag of Abkhazia combines elements of the flag of the MRNC, of which it was part, and the flag of "Sevastopol" in the Book of All Kingdoms, which is believed to have represented what is now known as Sukhumi. The stars represent the historical regions of Abkhazia, and the stripes represent the peaceful co-existence of Christianity and Islam. 7 is a sacred number to the Abkhaz. - Adjara's flag depicts the national flag of Georgia, with blue for the Black Sea. The seven stripes presumably represent the two cities and five districts of Adjara. - Georgia's flag originated in the Middle Ages and was adopted in 2004. It features St. George's Cross and four Georgian Bolnisi crosses. One explanation of the meaning is that it represents the Five Holy Wounds. - The flag of Armenia was based on a flag of the Lusignan Dynasty, but with the charges removed and yellow swapped for orange. Among other things, the red represents the Armenian Highland, blue the will to live under peaceful skies, and orange creativity and good work ethic. - The flag of Artsakh is an Armenian flag defaced by a zig-zag pattern used in local carpet designs. This defacement also creates the image of a smaller Armenian flag separated from the rest. - The flag of Azerbaijan has sky blue for Turkic heritage, red for modernity, and green for Islam. The star and crescent is also a symbol associated with Islam and Turks. The eight points may represent the letters of "Azerbaijan" when written in Arabic, or the different Turkic peoples of Azerbaijan. - This flag of Nakhchivan was never official. It was reported in protests in the '90s, although in reality it was just a variant of the national flag. Nevertheless, it's still occasionally used to represent Nakhchivan.

[marsbarsfrommars]

if you need to be mean (be mean to me)

star wars: the high republic | rated t | complete | 2,661 words | avar kriss & elzar mann, a little avar kriss/elzar mann | hurt/comfort, angst, little bit of fluff

summary

“Are you alright?” he asks then, his voice gentle yet heavy with concern. It makes her want to scream at him and break down crying at the same time. She chooses the former. “Of course I'm not!” she snaps, whirling around to face him with so much force she nearly stumbles. “Starlight is lost at the bottom of the ocean, along with Stellan and Maru and so many others, and it's all my fault!”

or, a continuation of their argument in sos #2

read

under the cut or on ao3 for better formatting

notes

I told everyone who asked me to write more elvar (I'm incredibly honoured by that btw) that it would definitely take a while, but it hasn't even been a week so now I look like an idiot, but at least I have this for you

this one is dedicated to everyone on tumblr and ao3 who commented/liked/reblogged/left kudos on my last fanfic. your support means the world to me and is probably the reason I was able to finish this so fast

unfortunately, this is not as fluffy as the last one, but I really wanted to write this because I feel like we don't talk about avar's trauma regarding starlight and stellan's death enough. she deserves to let it all out and receive the comfort she needs.

I need to be real with you for a moment, though. I struggle with perfectionism, and that makes me really insecure about my writing, and while I try to overcome it, I have managed to convince myself that this is actually the worst thing ever written in the history of fanfiction. initially, I didn't want to post it at all, but I'm trying to overcome my perfectionism because it's actually pretty hard to get anything done like this, so I have forced myself to post it anyway. that is actually not at all relevant to the fanfic itself, but I needed to get this off my chest. anyways, I hope this isn't as bad as I think it is and you actually enjoy it

what avar and elzar say to each other during the first argument at the beginning of this will probably seem familiar to you because those are direct quotes from the comic. everything after that is written by me only.

also, english isn't my first language, so please just ignore any grammar/spelling mistakes

content warning for survivor's guilt, loss of a loved one (stellan in this case) and description of the start of a panic attack, but it's not more severe/graphic than in the books

“I am going into Nihil territory. I will find their leaders and bring them to justice,” she said when they fought that afternoon, the anger clear in her voice but not fully masking the still-audible edge of desperation.

Elzar looked taken aback. “Wait, you're leaving? After I just told you…” he hesitated then, like he just realised something. “Is that why? Because of what I did?”

It wasn't; of course it wasn't; she would never dream of leaving him because he had made a mistake. Normally, she would have explained herself and told him that she wanted to leave because of her own mistakes, not his, but she was too shaken up to properly explain herself, and he continued talking almost immediately.

“Or… is it something to do with us?”

“I can't make important decisions based on us, Elzar. I am a Jedi,” she answered, already turning on her heel and starting to walk away from him. “And so are you.”

She left him in their tent and went to help with the relief efforts until dusk, when the Eirami disaster relief workers told her to go and rest. She protested, of course, but they couldn't be persuaded to let her continue helping them.

She debated checking on the other Jedi, but she couldn't bring herself to face them at the moment. Ultimately, she decided to walk back to the refugee camp, hoping that Elzar wouldn't be in their tent. Out of all the people here, he was the one she wanted to see the least.

When Avar opens the door to the tent now, it's empty, and she lets out a breath of relief. Maybe I really should rest for a while, she thinks, even though deep down she knows she won't be able to, despite her tiredness. Nevertheless, she strips off her torn and singed cloak and washes her hands and face at the small sink in the corner.

Someone placed water and a small pile of ration bars on the low table between the bunks while she was away. Avar unwraps a bar and takes a bite. It tastes like nothing, like it always does, but unlike so many other times before, she's not bothered by it this time; she has no appetite anyways.

She takes another bite and lets her thoughts wander, almost desperately trying to avoid thinking of Stellan and Starlight. Amazingly enough, she succeeds. Instead, her thoughts travel back to Elzar and the argument they had this afternoon, which is only a marginally better thing to think about if she really intends to rest.

I can't make important decisions based on us, Elzar. I am a Jedi. And so are you, she told him and she meant it, she still means it. They are Jedi, after all. They can't put their feelings for each other above the wellbeing of the galaxy. Not that he had asked her too; he would never. Both of them believe in being Jedi too much for that.

Deep down, she knows that her desire to leave has nothing to do with them at all, and everything with her not being able to face her own failures. But it's easier to not think of that right now. Instead, she reminds herself that there is no them—there can't be, not like it's supposed to be, because they're Jedi and because Stellan is dead. They are a constellation missing a star, a composition with one note crossed out, an ocean devoid of life. They are forever incomplete. And there is nothing she can do to fix that. She has failed them all.

The pain manifests as a physical ache in her chest, and it becomes harder and harder to breathe. Before, Avar had hardly noticed the panic building up inside her, but now it threatens to overwhelm her. She clenches her trembling hands into fists and tries to breathe as deeply and evenly as possible. This is not supposed to happen to her. She is a Jedi; she doesn't let her emotions control her. She's not supposed to be overwhelmed by them or feel like she might die.

Avar tries to push the panic away, but the harder she tries, the worse it gets. Theoretically, she knows she has to calm herself, but it's hard to focus on anything but the fact that she can hardly breathe. Every single one of her senses is solely focused on the panic, until she abruptly senses something else—she expected him to return at some point, but she didn't expect that point to come so soon and even hoped to be gone by then. The shock snaps her out of the spiral she was threatening to go down and lets her focus on her breathing until she feels the panic subside. It's still there, but it's less overwhelming now.

She feels Elzar's presence before she hears the door open. At least one thing is still the same. He pauses at the open door, and there's a moment where neither of them say anything. Avar thinks he might just turn around and leave again, but he doesn't. Instead, he closes the door behind himself and walks over to her, stopping a few steps behind her. “Are you alright?” he asks then, his voice gentle yet heavy with concern. It makes her want to scream at him and break down crying at the same time. She chooses the former.

“Of course I'm not!” she snaps, whirling around to face him with so much force she nearly stumbles. “Starlight is lost at the bottom of the ocean, along with Stellan and Maru and so many others, and it's all my fault!”

He doesn't seem taken aback by her anger. A part of her wishes he was, wishes he would shout back. He doesn't. His voice remains gentle when he shakes his head and says, “It's not, Avar. I said this earlier too, but you can't put all the weight on yourself. I know you blame yourself, but no one else does, I promise you.”

“And how would you know that?” Her voice is raised and full of anger, she's almost shouting. It's unnecessarily mean, she knows that. Elzar is just as hurt as she is, he doesn't deserve to be the target of her rage at all, but he's here right now, and the anger is simmering hot beneath her skin. She knows she shouldn't give into it, but she's afraid of what will be left once the rage is gone.

“I know,” he responds, still infuriatingly calm, “because everyone out there has made mistakes as well, and some of those mistakes have set something in motion that got people hurt in the end, but no one blames them for that. How could they? Making a mistake that gives people who want to harm others the opportunity to do so doesn't make you wholly responsible for the harm caused. Sometimes it doesn't make you responsible at all.”

He's right. She knows he's right, but she can't quiet the song of fault and failure the Force has been singing to her all day. It's as overwhelming as the panic had been before.

Elzar continues talking. “Yes, you've made mistakes that indirectly led to all this happening, but so did I, so did Stellan, so did the Council, so did the Chancellor, and so did lot's and lot's of other people. But in the end, it's the Nihil alone who blew up Starlight. They caused all of this. They are to blame for all the deaths and all the hurt.”

He still sounds calm, but there's a clear edge of desperation in his voice now. “I know it's hard to accept that no one else blames you, when you blame yourself.” He doesn't say, I blame myself, too, doesn't say, If you blame anyone but the Nihil, it should be me, doesn't say, Logically, I know what I said is true, but I won't stop thinking it's all my fault, but she knows anyways. Normally, she would try to comfort him, like he's trying for her now, but she is unable to comfort anyone right now, not even herself.

“But I need you to know that the galaxy doesn't blame you, Avar. I don't blame you, and I know that Stellan doesn't-, didn't… that he didn't either.”

And that's what makes her tip over the edge she has been so precariously balancing on. “You have no idea what Stellan thinks of me or if he would blame me!” She's definitely shouting now. “The last thing we ever did was fight! It's the only thing we've done the past year, and now Stellan is dead and I can't ever tell him that I'm sorry and that I didn't mean any of it and that he will always be my best friend and that I… that I…” her voice breaks, effectively interrupting her rambling outburst. She has to take a deep, shaky breath before continuing, only to find that she can't. At last, her voice has failed too. That's when all the emotions she had been so carefully pushing down finally spill over and she just breaks down.

Elzar is there to catch her. He takes two quick steps forward and wraps his arms around her. Avar allows him to pull her close and clings to him like a lifeline. She buries her face against his shoulder and starts sobbing uncontrollably. He holds her for what feels like hours and lets her cry for as long and as hard as she needs to, while gently caressing her back and occasionally stroking her hair.

Eventually, the tears stop coming, and her breathing steadies enough to allow her to speak again. She pulls away slowly, not enough to create any real distance between them, but just enough to look him in the eyes. Elzar’s been crying too, she realises. His face is stained with tears, and his eyes are just as red as hers probably are. She brings one hand up to cup his face and he leans into it like it's instinct.

Avar leans her forehead against his and closes her eyes. They’re so close now that they are sharing breaths. She can't remember the last time they've been this close to each other. She missed this; she missed him.

“I'm sorry I yelled at you,” she whispers, her voice hoarse from all the crying. “It's just… I miss Stellan. I miss him so much, and I can't stop blaming myself for Starlight and for never apologising to him.”

“It's alright, I understand. I miss him too.” Elzar's whispering too, his voice as hoarse as hers. “And I know that he didn't blame you—he would never. He wanted to apologise and make things right with you. He missed you, Avar, and he wasn't angry with you in the end.”

She had thought she physically couldn't cry anymore, but she feels the telltale pressure of tears behind her eyes return at his words. “If he didn't blame me, he didn't blame you either, El.” It’s the only thing she manages to say before she has to bury her face against his shoulder, as her body is once again wracked by sobs. Elzar is crying too, she can tell by the way he's trembling in her embrace.

She doesn't have to question if what he told her is true or not; he wouldn't lie to her, she knows that. She also knows that he believes what she told him. It makes everything a little better. Still, neither of them will stop blaming themselves. Starlight is still gone, and Stellan is still dead, and there is nothing they can do to change that. The grief is something they have to accept and work through, as is the Jedi way. And as much as each of them wants the other to be okay, it's not something they can offer one another. Elzar and her—they're as broken as the song of the Force and all they can do is hold each other so they don't fall apart. It's a painful realisation, but Avar is grateful for it nonetheless. It's better than the panic or the anger.

It's then that she truly realises how tired she is. Her body feels heavy with exhaustion, and she doesn't think she can stay on her feet a moment longer without collapsing. “I think we should try to sleep,” she tells him.

Elzar nods. “Yeah, we should. I can go and find another tent if you-”

“No,” she interrupts him firmly. She doesn't want to be alone tonight, not anymore, and she imagines he doesn't either.

“Alright,” he answers, and Avar can hear the relief in his voice.

They pull away from each other fully, and while she toes off her boots and takes off her belt, outer tunic, and gloves, Elzar strips off his cloak and washes his hands and face like she had done earlier tonight. He takes off his boots, belt, and outer tunic as well, but leaves his gloves on, which should strike her as odd, but she's too tired to even question it right now.

They sit down on the edges of their respective bunks, facing each other. After everything, the physical distance between them feels too far like this. It's something both of them know, but neither is brave enough to address in fear of overstepping the boundaries they've so carefully drawn up between them. It's not something Avar can deal with tonight, she decides. So she walks over to him, sidestepping the low table, until she's standing right in front of him and he's looking up at her. There is a question in his gaze, he doesn't dare assume anything. She cups his face again, this time with both hands, to reassure him and because she wants to.

“El,” she whispers his name. There's more she had planned to say, but all the words are wiped from her head when his hands find her hips. This doesn't need to be discussed; they understand each other just fine without words. He gently squeezes her hips before letting go and scooting back on the narrow bunk. She climbs in beside him. It's clearly not made for two adult humans to comfortably sleep next to each other, but they make it work. They lie down side by side, faces turned to each other, and Elzar pulls the blanket over both of them. They don't speak, both of them are too exhausted to have a conversation.

Elzar softly brushes his lips against her forehead in lieu of saying good night, and she presses her hand against his chest, right over his heart.

They fall asleep like this. Lying on their sides, facing each other, arms slung over waists and legs intertwined. It's a surprisingly deep and restful sleep considering the events of the day. For a moment, it feels like maybe they'll be okay after all.

In the end, though, that night changes very little in the grand scheme of things. Avar still leaves in the morning. She wakes before he does and slips out of his arms and the bunk as quietly as possible. As much as it hurts her to leave Elzar like this, she knows in her heart that she can't go back to Coruscant. She can't face her own failures, so she tells herself someone needs to be out there fighting the Nihil and runs, even if she hates herself for it a little.

(Six days later, the Stormwall goes up and she's trapped in the Occlusion Zone with no way home. Three hundred seventy-six days later, she finally hears Elzar's message and his words make her sob once again. Three hundred and seventy-eight days after she left him on Eiram, she steps into the Council Chambers in the Temple on Coruscant and he's there. It takes her three hundred seventy-eight days to find her way home, but she gets there in the end.)