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jhdyuiee · 10 months ago

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alibi

★ pairing: childhood friend!haechan x fem!reader

★ tags/warnings: smut!, slight angst, fluff, unprotected sex, nipple/breast play, kissing/making-out, multiple positions (doggy&face-to-face), oral (f receiving), fingering, marking (hickies&biting), pet names (baby) & name calling (good girl), dirty talk, cursing, spanking, squirting, multiple orgasms, rich ceo haechan, haechan was your childhood friend who one day up and disappeared

★ w.c: 3.7k

★ a.n: hello! as promised here is my story for the week! sorry for the delay, i spent majority of my week finishing up my term paper, but now that, that is over i'm free again!! woohoo, i can finally enjoy my summer ㅠㅠ . anyhow this my first haechan fic, yippie! also thank you all for the massive love and support on wildflower & million dollar baby <3 please stay safe out there during this summer time, i love you berry much, jiji out 🤍

5 years ago.

You're lying… No… This couldn’t be possible… He couldn’t have just disappeared without telling me…

How could he? We were supposed to graduate tomorrow. Go to the same University. We were supposed to be together.

“Why did you leave,” I muttered as tears streamed down my face.

As I headed to school this morning, I stopped by his home like I’ve always done. However I was met with an empty home. Everything cleared, as if no one ever lived there. I thought maybe I’d arrived at the wrong home or I was still dreaming.

So I called Haechan. Once, twice, ten times yet to no avail. He answered none of my calls or messages. I went with the second option, calling my mother. Yet little did I know that, that call would shatter all remaining hope in me.

“You didn’t know? The Lee’s left yesterday. His father was hired in, hmm where was it? Toronto! Toronto, Canada!” my mother said. My eyes widened, hands shaking. Haechan hadn’t informed me of anything.

So he just left. Like that? My legs grew weak, I found myself outside his door; sobbing. Nothing else mattered to me right now, I just wanted Haechan. His bright smile, his sparkling eyes, and warmth. It was like he took my other half, leaving me now half dead.

In all honesty, I loved Haechan. Ever since I learned what love was. Yet, now I never even got the chance to tell him. This would be the end of us. 18 years—since birth—gone.

Present day.

I thought that day 5 years ago would be the end. Me and Haechan would never find our way back to each other, yet why was he standing in front of me now?

“Y/N…” he says, loud enough for me to hear. I snapped out of my trance, remembering I was still on the job.

“R-Right this way sir,” I said, guiding him and the women that held his hand to their table. I set their menus on the table as they got situated. “I’ll be right back to take your orders,” I said, trying to make my exit.

I left without turning back, without glancing back at Haechan. My heart pounded so fast, my body trembling. This couldn’t be… No, he… What was he doing here? Out of every restaurant, why did he have to come to the one I worked at!? Just when I had begun forgetting about him, he reappeared and with a woman by his side no less.

I sighed, trying my best to compose myself. I mean after all he’d be gone once he finished eating and I’d never have to see him again. As I made my way back to their table, the woman he was with smiled so brightly, laughing at whatever Haechan was saying.

“Hello!” I said enthusiastically, putting on a smile. “I’m Y/N and i’ll be your waiter today. Can I get you started on some drinks?” I asked. I felt Haechan’s gaze the whole time I stood there.

“Hello, uhh I’ll get the Strawberry Vodka!” The woman spoke happily. When I finished noting her drink down, I turned to Haechan. Our eyes meeting one another. “And for you sir?”

He opened his mouth, then closed it before opening it up again to speak. “Some water is fine, since I still have to drive us afterwards.” I nodded my head, “Are you guys ready to order or would you like more time?”

“No, no it’s fine we can order now,” he said. And so I took their orders, walking back to the kitchen once I finished. I poured their drinks and walked back over to them. Only this time I didn’t linger there for long. Then after a good while, their food was finally ready. Plates in hand, I walked over to them again, giving them their food. “Anything else that you would need?” I asked. Before Haechan could answer, the women politely dismissed the question.

I continued working, I had no time to just idle around. I served every table I could possibly attend to, until I finally noticed Haechan and the women getting ready to leave. I made my way over there for what I hoped would be the last time. “All ready to go?” I asked.

“Yes, could we get the check?” Haechan asked. “Oh! Yes, here you go,” I said, setting the receipt I pulled from inside my apron's pocket on the table. “Thank you for dining with us!” I gave my last remark, displaying a bright smile. I might’ve been hallucinating but I saw Haechan's lips faintly twitched.

“Thank you!” the woman said, standing up from her seat to grab Haechan’s arm. He happily got up, “Thank you so much for your service, I’ll be sure to tip you generously.” “Oh no, Thank you for being such wonderful customers! Be sure to stop by next time!” I said, only wishing he never sets foot in here again.

He smiles, “Will do,” he says, his words sounding like a promise. Great. I watched as they paid and left. Catching Haechan as he gave me one last look, his eyes filled with longing.

・❥・・❥・・❥・

Finally, my night shift at the restaurant was over! I could finally go home, maybe stop by the convenience store to buy a beer or two. After tonight I could use some alcohol.

I bid my coworkers goodbye, making my way out of the restaurant. “Y/N!” A voice shouted my name. I turned to find the voice. Only now I wished that I simply had just feigned ignorance to the calling.

Haechan stood before me. His body leaned against his vehicle, arms crossed. I stood there, not a single move from me. It was as if time had stopped and we were the only two in this world. He moved first, making his way towards me until we were only an inch apart. His eyes, the same ones that shun so bright, were now eerily emotionless.

My lips quivered, “H… Haechan.” My vision blurred and only then did I realize the waterworks had started. I heard a faint chuckle erupt from him, “Still a crybaby huh?” he asked as the pad of his thumbs wiped my tears away. No, I didn’t want to feel his touch.

I backed away, the two of us just staring at one another. “Wh-Why are you here!” I said, coming out rather loudly. “To get you,” he answered. Confusion overrode my face, “For me?! Haechan, you left me 5 years ago!”

His eyes now saddened; hurt. “I didn’t mean to! I meant to tell you about my father’s job… it’s just-” I interrupted him before he could finish, “So? I had to find out through my mother for christ sake Haechan. Not to mention it was on the day before our graduation!” He sighed, coming closer to me. He cupped my face, “I know, I know I was a jerk but I didn’t tell you because I was going to come back! I was supposed to be back after a couple of months.” Now shock overrode my face. What was he talking about? Come back after a few months?

“Don’t bullshit me,” I spat out. “I’m not!” he slightly raised his voice, causing me to flinch. “Sorry,” he then said, embracing me into a hug. “I really was supposed to come back yet to my surprise when I returned you had already gone,” he whispered into my ear.

His hot breath, his low voice sent an intense shiver throughout my body that I got lost in him. I couldn’t formulate a sentence, a word. I pressed my hands against his chest, trying to push him away but he was too strong. “B-But what about that woman,” I asked.

We locked eyes, a smirk formulated on his face. “She was just some woman my mother set me up with. Why, jealous?”

I shook my head. Me, jealous?! Please… “No! Why would I!” He shrugged his shoulders, “You tell me.” I gripped his arm, “Wh-What do you mean?”

His expression softened, “You think I wouldn’t know?” I looked at him, confused once more. He chuckled, “That you love me.”

My eyes widened, my mouth fell open. How? How did he…

I detached myself from him, “What… How did you-“ “The way you would always look at me,” he interrupted me. “How would I look at you?” I questioned.

“Like I was your entire world.”

My vision blurred, “How long have you known…” He inched closer, “Since before I even left.” “Bu-But why didn’t you say anything!?” I raised my voice a bit. “Because I knew it wouldn’t work out.”

My cheeks felt wet when he told me that. He inched closer, stopping me from talking. “Before you say anything I just wanted to say that it had nothing to do with you, in fact I loved you too. Heck, I still do. Y/N I love you.”

“But?” I asked, even more tears streaming down my face. He sighed, putting his hands on my face to wipe away the tears. “It was me. I knew I was going to have to leave one day and even if it wasn’t for too long I couldn’t bear it. I couldn’t just leave you.”

This man. He sure has a knack for worrying over the simplest things…

“You could’ve still talked to me about it,” I said, embracing him this time. I buried my head into his chest. His hands were holding onto me and stroking my hair. “I know… and for that I’m sorry.” I looked up at him, “You know… It’s okay and you wanna know why?” I asked. “Why,” he replied.

“Because I too still love you. Then and now, Haechan. I have always loved you, no matter how much I tried hating you… I just knew that if you were to ever show up in life again, I would welcome you back. I just can’t seem to live without you.”

He didn’t react. I watched as Haechan stood there, wide eyed like he couldn’t believe what was unfolding. I giggled a bit, finding his reaction amusing. However, now I was the one left wide eyed when he abruptly crashed his lips onto mine.

The kiss was gentle, yet still passionate. I tasted him, finding contentment of how perfectly his lips molded onto mine. He holds my face with both his hands, deepening the kiss. A moan ended up slipping from my throat when his tongue intruded inside my mouth. I wrap my hands around Haechan, enjoying this too much that I didn’t want to let go.

Unfortunately he's the first to pull away, both of us panting. His hands don’t let go from cupping my face as he leans down to my ear. “How about we continue this at my apartment?” he whispers into my ear. And so with a nod of my head, we hurriedly got into his car.

The car ride was silent, but the air felt heavy. Haechan’s hands on your thigh, fondling the flesh. You were sure your panties were soaked by this point. You seriously were growing impatient, you wanted nothing more but to have him within you already.

・❥・・❥・・❥・

Around 10 minutes later you both arrived at his apartment. You both hurriedly take off every article of clothing whilst kissing one another hungrily. You feel as his fingers slip to cup your sex before taking two of his fingers to glide along your pussy lips. The sensation causing you to pull away from the kiss panting and moaning.

“Feels good Y/N?” Haechan asks as he takes those two fingers to your clit where he begins rubbing it. “Y-Yes!” I say, coming out rather loudly. He smiles before continuing his ministrations on your cunt.

On the other hand, his mouth has found its way on your body. Kissing every part of you from your cheeks, jaw, collarbone, and your breasts. Using his free hand, Haechan fondles one of your breasts while his mouth kisses around your nipple, nipping on the skin which causes you to wince. His eyes look up, “You alright baby?” he asks. Baby, god that has a nice ring to it, don’t it?

“I-I’m fine, just feels so good,” I reply, bringing a hand to his fluffy hair. Taking that as his sign that you were fine he continued. He stuck his tongue out, teasing your bud before bringing your nipple to his mouth. He sucked on it, using his tongue to lick on your bud. Then you watched as Haechan kissed a bridge to your other breast, repeating his actions onto your other breasts.

At this point your brain started becoming foggy, his hands and mouth were god's work. “Fuck,” I moaned. Haechan departs from your breast, ”You gonna cum already?” I nod my head, but then he flips me around. My hands on the door, and when I whipped my head around to look at him, Haechan was already going down. “Spread your legs for me baby,” he says in a sultry voice. I complied, opening myself for him.

I felt as he slapped me on my ass, “Good girl” he muttered as he takes in the wet mess behind me. Gripping onto my thighs he begins to lick up all my juices, letting out a satisfied groan when he finally tastes me. “Taste so good, baby. Can’t believe you’re this wet already,” he says as he kisses the sensitive skin around my cunt.

“Please.. M-More,” I moaned. I couldn’t handle his teasing anymore, I wanted him to make me cum already– to make a mess of me. “My pleasure Y/N,” Haechan says before licking up my cunt in slow strokes. Then bringing his tongue to my clit to give it some licks before using his mouth to suction on it. The sensation leaving me drooling, chanting his name repeatedly like some prayer.

When he finally lets go of my clit, his mouth departs from my cunt. I was left confused for a second before I felt his thumbs spread my lips apart. A second later his tongue intrudes inside me so deep it had me pressing my cheek against the door. The pleasure had me crying out, “S-So good!”

His tongue pushes itself further inside my gummy walls, while one of his hands smacks down on one of my ass cheeks. The smack eliciting more pleasurable moans from me. I felt myself growing close to cumming all over his face, just a little more…

Haechan must’ve sensed it too by the way I began tightening around his tongue as he brought his thumb to my clit. Once more he rubs on the sensitive bud, then pinching it with the help of his index finger.

So close… So close, but then he takes out his tongue. However I didn't get to whine at the loss of sensation because he quickly brought two fingers from his unoccupied hand inside my hole. His fingers stretched me out wonderfully, reaching me deep inside, and the pace kept above 100.

And with one final pinch on my clit, I gushed all over. Taking his fingers out quickly to capture all my juices as they leaked. He drank me up, from my cunt to my thighs. Like a starved man he managed to clean me all up.

Finally getting up, Haechan reaches me. He stares for a while, taking in my fucked out state. “You did so good,” he mutters, pecking my temple. “However, we’re not done yet so don’t fall asleep on me just yet.” As he said that he presses his hard cock in between my ass and rubbing it against my fucked out cunt. I swear I almost went crazy from the way his tip rubbed against my clit. I press myself against him more, wiggling my ass for him. I hear as he lets out a low chuckle before grabbing the sides of my ass and shoving himself in me with one swift move.

I yelp forward against the door, my first clenching. His hands gripping onto my waist, his finger tips sure to leave little crescent moons when all this is done. He pounded into me like a madman, rough and merciless. I was too engulfed in the pleasurable feeling of his tip reaching my womb that I didn’t mind his thrusting. He didn’t falter even after a while, grunting whenever he felt me clench around his cock.

The sounds of skin slapping and the squelching wetness were all you could hear throughout his apartment. You’d secretly hoped his room was soundproof because the obscene noises you two were making were sure to bring the neighbors complaining. However in Haechan’s mind he didn’t care one bit. Your noises were just too beautiful, becoming his new favorite song he wished to listen to on replay every single second of his days. Haechan glances down to where you both were connected, noting the white ring formed around his cock. Weirdly, but not weirdly turning him on all the more. You didn’t know if it was possible, but he picked up his pace.

Both of you growing close to your releases. Guiding one of his hands off your hips and to your swollen clit he works you closer to your second orgasm. All the more kissing his way up to your neck when he nibbles on the exposed skin when you tilt your head to the side. A thrust or two later, rolling your eyes back and fingertips piercing into your palms you have the most euphoric orgasm of the night– no of your life.

Taking his lips off you, he glances down to your gushing hole. Your orgasm coating all over his dick and pussy clenching around him, he twitches inside you before releasing. His cum coating your walls, stuffing you.

Taking his cock out, still half hard, he glances down at you as you collapse onto the floor. Your legs giving in, leaving you weak. He couldn’t stop thinking of how beautiful you look, and all like this because of him. Just those thoughts alone were enough to get him hard again. Haechan decides he hasn’t had enough yet and picks you up.

Hazily, you watch him carry you into his bedroom. He places you down first before sitting on the edge of the bed. He turns around to meet your eyes. “Come here,” he said, signaling you to come sit on his lap. Once again obliging, sitting on his lap. His hard cock resting in between your bodies, you bite on your bottom lip when you feel his tip rub against your stomach.

“Sit on it baby,” he whispers into your ear. Your eyes go wide for a moment before taking his cock in your hand, lifting yourself up so you slide it inside you again. In this position his cock reaches you deeply, fitting snug into you. “All that fucking with my fingers, mouth, and cock but you’re still so tight,” he whispers into your ear. His hot breath turning you on. He kisses his way to your neck, marking you even more. You were his after all.

“Come on baby, don’t be shy,” Haechan urges me. So placing my hands on his shoulders and lifting myself up, I slam down back onto him. My eyes widened at the way he reached me again, his cock feeling as though it was made specially for me.

I continued working my way on his cock, going at my own pace. Although to this Haechan felt as though he was being tortured. He felt as though you were teasing him; the way your face would scrunch up in pleasure, your low moans, your tits bouncing– all of it was torture to him. Having had enough, he brings his hands to your hips again.

He helps you bounce on his cock, faster and faster. The deep penetration, caused you to clench around him once more, squeezing him for all he’s worth. He groans, bringing his hand to your tit, squeezing it and using his fingers to pinch on your bud.

Letting go of his shoulders you bring your arms behind you, resting your hands on his knees. Thrusting into him this way on your own, he lets go of your hips now playing with your tits with both his hands. Later bringing his mouth into the mix as he licks on your nipples again, occasionally biting on your buds.

Your pace begins to falter, growing closer to your release again. Feeling too as Haechan’s cock twitches inside you, you bring one of your hands to your clit where you begin to play with it. His eyes begin watching you, enjoying the view in front of him. He hopes to engrave this memory into his brain forever.

“Le-Let’s cum together,” I moaned. “Mmm, cum on my cock for me again baby,” Haechan says. Your pussy obeying him, cumming on his cock for a third time tonight as his hot white seeds fill inside you again. Overwhelmed and exhausted from the pleasure, you both collapse on the bed, Haechan’s cock still inside you. He didn’t wanna slip out just yet.

・❥・・❥・・❥・

Eyes fluttering open, the morning sun peeking in through the curtains. You’ve finally awakened from your slumber, turning to your side but are met with nothing. The memories of last night's activities flood into your brain. You feel your face heat up. Oh god, I thought. Glancing down, I noticed I was now dressed in an over-sized shirt. It’s probably- “Sleep well,” he says, walking into the room. Well, well speak of the devil.

I tuck my hair behind my ear, smiling at him. “Mmm, best I’ve ever slept!” I say cheerfully. He smiles– that smile I knew from all those years ago. Walking over to me, he cups my face. “I love you.” I swear my smile reaches my eyes at his words, “I love you too, always have and always will.”

“You’ll be the death of me,” he mutters before bringing his lips onto mine. Kissing delicately and with so much love.

When he parted, he asked me something– “Will you be my girlfriend?” I didn’t hesitate as I jumped into his arms, “Yes!” I repeated.

Sharing another kiss, we spent the rest of the morning and day with one another. Enjoying one another like a couple of teenagers in love, making up for lost time.

2024.07.21

final a.n: as promised, the fic of the week! i’m truly sorry it took longer than anticipated, i was working on my final the whoke week ㅠㅠ but now i should be free for the rest of the summer!!! anyhow im rlly excited for next week, kcon && seeing 127, practically sobbing ahhh! anyhow i hope to be back soon with doyoung’s story next, stay tuned! please continue supporting “WALK” !!! 🤍

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andredeyemii · 5 months ago

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hii girll ur page is amazingg <3 how do u make manifestation fun?

girl manifestation is soo fun in general like you don't even need to do stuff babes (but you should cuz it's fun skdksk) the concept of just being unserious and carefree enough to choose how you want to think and accompany yourself so good, you can influence how you feel (like talking to someone and your mood gets better) damnn it's just fun.. but then you get you desires after!? soo fun.

H E R E I S H O W ( I D E A S ) : :

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : GRATITUDE : : instantly top one, it's life. I mean use anything else but this one is tradition and pricelessss

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : SELF-CONCEPT : : just because it's second doesn't mean it's "less important" it should be a repiblic act

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : RAMPAGES : : I recommend high frequency guru for this, she has many amazingg rampages they're life

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : VOID STATE : : it's veryy spiritual and instant, like it feels so sacred like it belongs in ancient civilization practices

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : SUCCESS STORIES : : turn off the stress news and listen to magical girls who manifested money outta nowhere this is what my account is forrr

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : SUBLIMINALS : : guys we are evolving as a species, please use this and cherish it rnn goiss

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : SATURATIONS : : these are my 2025 goals and this has the right to be included in beauty rituals cuzzz wow

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : SCRIPTING : : you can script habitually or you can just write about your day with a lot of exaggerated positivity

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : DRESS UP : : would your higher self think like you? no, that's why you do saturations. would my higher self dress like me? no, so I do shopping sprees.

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : SHADOW WORK : : it's free therapy and it releases blocks and past traumas so you can embody ur dream self

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : VISUALIZATION : : it's the basics of manifestation do it as much as you can

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : BLAH BLAH BLAH : : stop complaining and start talking about success stories and lifelong goals instead, it's technically a mini-mind saturation

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : WORK W PLACEBOS : : knowing if something is just a placebo effect doesn't take away the magic of the mind when it just proves it. lmao.

T E C H N I Q U E S : :

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : social media technique : : when you see something you want, think "omg I have that too!!", "me rn", "twins!!" cuz y'all that's so much inspirational than jealousy

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : lists / checkbox technique : : list your desires and affirm that you have all of them cuz it's fun and you will anyways

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : the water technique : : esp if you're planning on drinking 2 liters of water and being hygienic for 2025, keep saying that water makes u prettier

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : the love letter technique : : if manifesting an SP or simply someone loving you, write a love letter to urself as if you're them with visualizations. or write yourself a love letter from you and write love letters you won't send hehee

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : I would like more technique : : gratitude is key for this, but basically if you experience one small good thing or a small manifestation, affirm "I am so grateful for this, universe / god, I would like more".

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : for you and for me technique : : you have to block out limiting beliefs. if you hear someone say "your standards are too high, good men don't exist." you think to yourself "good men don't exist FOR YOU" and stay safe. update your affirmations to say "money is so easy FOR ME to have" also <3

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : play some music babes : : everytime you listen to music esp those dreamy love songs and those pretty lyrics, pretend they're all about you. feel beautiful.

G E N E R A L T I P S : :

!! some people will not find some ideas and techniques fun because they're coming from a place of attachment, scarcity desperation and doubt !!

🌺 : : but baby girlll manifestation is supposed to be magiccc. you have to feel like a little girl again and pick up the feeling of believing that you're just a pixie fairy or a pretty princess WHEN you were a child.

that's what ultimate detachment is!! children can experience stuff, they throw tantrums ofc honey but they don't get stuck in the experience. you'll cry over the past but them?? they'll cry over a broken crayon but once the crayons are gone, they're playing tea party next. SEE???

so yah, feel like a child. you should have no problems believing in anything because you're overconsuming. I see you gurl. stop thinking serious and hanging on. have fun y'all.

#dream life #loassblog #manifesting #master manifestor #quantum jumping #self concept #just girly things #law of assumption #void state #subliminals #law of manifestation #manifestation #loassumption #loassblr #it girl #summer #manifest it

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hannahbarberra162 · 7 months ago

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Under the Microscope, Part 7 (Yandere Sabo x Reader)

18+ MDNI on Ao3

All the other parts

@orioncipher said that Sabo is basically getting a second cat to keep his first cat company when he travels....and that's exactly right! Two meow meows on a deserted island! Let's see how they do together :3

SPOILERS FOR EGGHEAD

~~~

Your POV

Maybe it would have been better if Sabo had killed you after all. That would have been a less humiliating circumstance than Sabo kissing you in front of Ace and practically skipping out the door, leaving you alone with his brother for who knows how long. Your face burned with embarrassment as Ace looked you over with a smirk.

“So, you and Sabo, huh?” he said, talking with his mouth full. Yep, Sabo should have killed you.

“Uh, it’s not really like that -” you said, trying to get your blush to recede. Your statement only made Ace look more smug as his smile widened.

“I think it’s exactly like that,” he replied, “I’m sure Sabo’ll fill you in eventually.” You frowned, you didn’t like the implication that they knew things you didn’t. You didn’t answer, but also didn’t resume eating. Between Sabo leaving suddenly and the kiss you still felt lingering on your lips, your appetite was gone. You took your cup to drink some water but your hand was shaking so hard you were spilling. Waiting a moment, you took a deep breath and were able to calm down enough to hold your cup and drink.

“What’s with the shaking?” Ace asked, pointing towards your hand with his fork.

“Nothing,” you said tersely, getting up from the table. You weren’t in the mood to deal with Ace’s rude behavior.

“You gonna finish that?” Ace said, gesturing towards your plate. You pushed your nearly full plate of food onto his, dumping it into the sink when you were done. You’d get to the dishes later, you thought, you didn’t want to be around Ace and his teasing right now.

Sabo had told you to stay in the house until the ship was gone, so even though you wanted to be alone, you still didn’t feel safe ignoring his rule. Walking up the stairs, you went to your room to calm down until the coast was clear. Shutting the door behind you, you went to lay on the bed, and saw a note had been left for you on your pillow case. Turning it over in your hands, you saw Sabo had written his nickname for you on the front, as if there would be anyone else in the room.

One thing was for certain - Sabo had the most beautiful penmanship you’d ever seen. He must have spent hours and hours practicing to achieve handwriting like that. The only time you’d seen anything of a similar caliber was when you’d gotten a letter asking a few follow up questions to an article you’d published. The article itself hadn’t garnered a lot of interest from the scientific community, so you were especially surprised to receive queries from a Warlord. It had been a very esoteric article about the overlap of lineage factors and hereditary conditions and their effect on idiopathic diseases. The letter had been professional and the Warlord had clearly understood your research, so you answered the questions to the best of your abilities. Shortly thereafter, you’d been transferred and begun working on sequencing new Lineage factors unlike any you’d seen before.

You opened Sabo’s letter, quickly reading through the brief contents.

Dearest Sunny,

I am loath to leave you so soon after our arrival to the island, but I am unable to be absent from the Revolutionary Army any longer. I know this is yet another abrupt change for you, but you will have to be the strong and brave woman I know you are. You have nothing to fear on the island and Ace will help you with anything you may need. He has a baby Den Den that can be used to contact me. Please call at any time of day or night, I would delight in hearing your voice.

There are warmer clothes in the trunk at the foot of the bed, use them in my stead.

I look forward to seeing more of your pressed flowers, talking together about your findings, and spending our evenings under the stars together. I will be back as soon as I am able.

Love,

Sabo

Reading through the letter a few times in a row, you had to set it down before you shredded it to pieces. The information Sabo provided was helpful but made you feel worse than you did when Ace was making fun of you. Sabo’s letter was obviously romantic and made your life sound idyllic. Flower picking, dates under the stars, cuddling together for warmth…your face regained its reddened hue you’d worked to lose. You had to take a few deep breaths to keep from screaming in frustration. Not for the first time, you wished that your Devil Fruit was destructive, explosive, powerful, anything that you could channel your rage. But no, all you had was making small things larger. Flopping back on the bed with a huff, you balled your hands and covered your eyes.

When had you accepted that Sabo had kidnapped you? Why were you allowing him to manipulate you into complacency? Sure, the first few days had been fun, especially after you were so seasick. But now you could see things as they really were. You had to get off the island, get away from Sabo, and get back to the Marines, no matter what. You weren’t sure how you’d do it yet, but you’d overcome a lot in your life and you weren’t going to let Sabo lure you into contentment with fake love. Yes, you’d had a good vacation but now it was time to get back to work.

You stayed in the room for hours, trying to think of ways to escape the island and its fraternal inhabitants. Based on the angle of the sun you thought a large enough amount of time had passed, so you went back downstairs to find out if the boat had left. Ace was sitting on the front porch of the house, leaning back against the siding, eating sunflower seeds and spitting out the shells.

“Ace, is the boat gone?” you asked from the nearest window, still inside the house. You hoped he would clean the shells but didn’t have high hopes.

“Oh. Yeah. Like a few hours ago. Thought you were sleeping or something,” Ace said, shrugging. Your lips pressed into a thin line as you fought the urge to say something snarky to him. Irritating the only other person on the island - especially one with a Den Den - would not work in your favor to escape.

“Thanks,” was all you said, moving away from the window to get your shoes. Getting your sweatshirt and your notebook, you set out for some nature time. Maybe looking at plants and walking around would clear your mind and help you think of new ideas.

A few hours later and you were no closer to an idea of escape than you were before. Sabo had trapped you quite well, you had to hand it to him. It seemed like the only way you were going to get off the island was if Sabo came back and took you with him. You’d have to work on convincing him to let you off the island, to take you to the RA Headquarters. Which raised another problem - you were a bad actress and a worse liar. You sighed as you headed back to the house to make some dinner, your stomach rumbling. You hadn’t eaten since the failed breakfast this morning, you’d forgotten in your anguish.

Looking through the pantry, you saw a lot of ingredients but were unsure what to make. You were good at cooking three dishes, one of which was the buns and eggs you ate for breakfast. The other two were spicy seafood fried rice and gumbo, both of which involved fresh caught fish. Maybe Ace would be helpful and catch some fish for the next day, because you certainly couldn’t catch anything. You decided to make gumbo and leave out the fish for today. When Ace resurfaced, you’d ask him about fishing gear. You hauled out a big pot for the gumbo, you were hoping to make enough for a few days so you didn’t have to keep cooking.

After the gumbo was finally completed, you plated yourself a bowl and sat down at the table. Stirring the stew with your spoon, you tried to make yourself eat a few bites. Even though you hadn’t eaten all day, your stomach felt like it was completely full of your overwhelming anxiety. Still, it wasn’t half bad, so you forced yourself to eat a little bit. You laughed a little to yourself as you got up to get a glass of water to drink. While Sabo was there you hadn’t had to get yourself anything during mealtime, he was as attentive to you as a waiter. Sitting back down and resuming eating, the door banged open, revealing a sleepy looking and sunburnt Ace.

“Whatcha make?” Ace yelled while walking towards the table.

“Gumbo, want some?” you asked. You wondered if he was a Zoan bloodhound the way he found food.

“Sure, smells good,” Ace replied, already rummaging in the kitchen for a plate and eating utensil. As he kept piling his bowl higher and higher, your eyes widened. You thought you made enough food for a few days, but you’d forgotten Ace’s appetite. He sat down at the bar, one stool in between you, and started shoveling it in. “S’no fish?” Ace said, while showing you his full mouth. Grimacing, you looked down at your plate trying to ignore his messy eating habits.

“This dish needs seafood. Can you go fishing and get some? I’m not really a good fisherwoman,” you explained. You didn’t mind eating the dish with only meat in it, but it really did taste better with shrimp or some kind of crustacean. Ace hummed but neither agreed nor disagreed. Things became quiet between you two as Ace ate and you resumed your thoughts. Sighing again, you dumped the remainder of your plate on Ace’s as you had earlier in the day. Ace grunted a thanks. You hoped this wasn’t going to be a recurring theme of your stay you didn’t want Sabo bothering you about losing weight again. You went up to your room, hopefully to fall asleep fairly soon as you had the previous few days.

Except, you didn’t. Dusk had come and gone, and you laid in the bed tossing and turning. Sabo had left and so had your habit of falling easily to sleep. You didn’t want to admit it to yourself, but curling into Sabo’s warmth was so pleasant, and it had such a calming effect on you that it put you right to sleep every night. But now he wasn’t here and even with the extra clothes from the foot of the bed you were cold. More than that, your mind was still whirling with thoughts on how to get back to where you belonged. Your hands were shaking and you kept turning your pillow over again and again. Eventually, you gave up and decided to do what you always did when you couldn’t sleep- read anything scientific.

Covering yourself with a blanket, you went downstairs to read on the couch. You forgot to bring a book from Sabo’s room upstairs, so you went into the office. You knew there were books there, you’d seen them during the one time you’d gone in. Sabo had left many papers and books on his desk and you quickly scanned them to see if there was anything of interest. The pile of papers were academic articles, you discovered after picking one up and reading the title. They all seemed to be about lineage factors, genetic sequencing, and devil fruits, you realized after fanning them out on the desk. You sat down on his chair, spreading the articles out further to read them. At least you’d found your reading for the night. And it was all in your area of expertise.

Sabo POV

Sabo hadn’t heard from Ace since he set sail, which wasn’t anything new. Sabo often didn’t hear from Ace at all when he left the island, no matter how long he was gone. Occasionally Ace would call with shopping requests, mostly related to food, but that was about it. His brother was content to wallow in his feelings day in and day out with no interruptions from Sabo. Sabo for his part didn’t often call Ace, wanting to respect his privacy and his wishes. But now things were different, you were there. Sabo was nervous that you would be anxious without him there to smooth things over, that maybe you were as tightly wound as when he found you. So, in the early evening on the fourth day he was gone, Sabo called Ace.

He was laying on the bed in his cabin, the very same one you had once slept on, holding your old bandana in his hand. He didn’t exactly lie to you, he burned most of your old uniform, but he’d kept the bandana as a reminder of the first time he’d seen you out of code in that warm jail cell. The memory of sweat dripping down your chest with your opened shirt had made him hard even though he knew you didn’t mean for the scene to be erotic. He’d already made notes of clothes he wanted to buy for you now that he was off the island, including a new belt. He saw you had been wearing Ace’s, and even though Ace was his brother, it still made Sabo jealous to see it slung on your hips.

Puru puru puru puru puru puru puru puru puru

“Yo,” Ace said, picking up the phone.

“Hi, Ace. I was just calling -” the snail now had Ace’s smug smile stretched across its features. Sabo wanted to punch it but knew it wouldn’t deliver the feeling to his brother.

“ - to ask about your girlfriend,” Ace said, finishing Sabo’s sentence. Sabo blinked slowly, he really couldn’t kill his brother. Well, shouldn’t.

“Yes, to ask about Sunny. How is she? I haven’t heard from you,” Sabo replied coolly. He wasn’t going to give Ace the satisfaction of knowing he was getting under Sabo’s skin.

“I dunno, I haven’t seen her,” Ace said while shrugging, making Sabo sit up on the bed.

“What do you mean you haven’t seen her? How? There’s only two of you there. Where is she?” Sabo was trying to keep himself from yelling. He was worried but maybe you were just avoiding Ace. That wouldn’t be out of character for either of you.

“Chill, she’s in your office. She’s been there for like, three days straight. Hasn’t made me more food or anything. I can hear her muttering in there, but I haven’t seen her,” Ace said with a shrug. Sabo was already off the bed and pacing the floor.

“Go to the office. Now.” Sabo demanded, picking up the snail in his hand. Sabo was worried you were working on Project Angel. He was planning on telling you everything he’d gathered, but he hadn’t expected you to put everything together before he got back. He wanted to get copies of a few more documents to show you before he asked you about your work. He kicked himself for not locking up his research in the cabinet.

“Ugh, why? She’s an adult, she’s fine,” Ace complained.

“Get off your ass, stop sleeping on the beach, and go to my office. Bring the snail,” Sabo snapped. He was in no mood for Ace’s pity parties.

“Fine. Gimme a minute,” Ace declared, rolling his eyes. Sabo nervously paced, holding the snail in his gloved hand. He waited until he heard the sounds of Ace slamming open the door to the house, then slamming open the door to the office.

“Look, here she is, whoa, what’s all this shit on the floor, she’s uh…..maybe not fine?” Ace said, tone rising at the end of the sentence, eyes darting around.

“What do you mean ‘not fine’?” Sabo demanded as Ace continued moving.

“Don’t step on those papers, I need them,” you said absently. Sabo couldn’t see you but the snail would pick up anyone in the immediate vicinity of the call. Sabo could hear the croak in your voice. It made him wonder the last time you had a cup of water, or went to sleep.

“Well, there’s nowhere else to step, there’s papers covering every inch of the floor,” Ace complained, the snail looking around at Sabo’s hand. “What’s with all the stuff everywhere? It kinda looks like Marco’s office when he would be researching.. And what’s with your fingers?” Ace asked. You mumbled some response but neither Sabo nor Ace understood it. “Uh, I’m not sure what’s going on here ‘Bo. She looks like she hasn’t slept in a week,” Ace said hesitantly. Sabo swore under his breath.

“Put her on the call,” Sabo requested, trying to keep calm for your sake. Once the snail shifted to your appearance, Sabo cursed again softly. You had huge bags under your eyes, you were reading something rapidly, and the snail’s little hands looked like they were bleeding. “Hi Sunny!” Sabo tried to interrupt you cheerfully, maybe you’d be receptive.

“Hi,” you replied, not taking your eyes off whatever you were reading. You were also furiously writing something down, he guessed in your notebook.

“It’s Sabo,” he continued, “how are you doing?”

“Okay.”

“What have you been up to?”

“Okay.”

“I missed you,” Sabo said, trying to get a reaction out of you.

“Okay,” you replied, not even listening to what he was saying. Sabo switched tactics, trying to get you to actually interact with him, not run on auto-pilot.

“I joined the Marines,” Sabo said nonchalantly.

“Okay.”

“They made me Fleet Admiral,” Sabo continued.

“Okay.” In all that time, you hadn’t stopped reading or writing notes for a second.

“Ace, take the notebook away from her,” Sabo said. He heard a short scuffle before you finally looked up from your work.

“Hey!! Give that back right now! It’s not a joke!” you yelled at Ace, with true anger in your voice. For the first time, Sabo heard you voice your frustration and anger. Though he was proud of you, he needed you to stop working.

“Listen to Sabo, then I’ll give it back,” Ace said, the snail holding its arm up in the air. Sabo had seen Ace take things away from Luffy and hold them over his head many times, that probably was what he was doing to you now.

“Fine. What, Sabo?” you said angrily, the snail’s eyes snapping to him.

“When was the last time you ate?” Sabo asked evenly.

You scrunched your face in thought, bringing a finger to your mouth to chew. “I don’t remember. I think…yesterday? Maybe the day before?”

“And the last time you drank water?”

“Before that. I’ve been drinking -”

“- coffee,” Sabo said with a sigh, finishing your sentence for you. “Have you slept at all?”

“Um, I think I passed out for a few hours…at some point. I don’t really remember and it isn’t important. Sabo, I need my work. Give it Ace, NOW.” Sabo had never heard you this upset before, not even when you were being dressed down by other Marines.

“Ace is going to give it back to you and you’re going to drink the water he brings, OK? You want to keep being able to work, right? If you drink water and eat, you’ll be able to work longer,” Sabo reasoned with you. You blinked a few times, breaking out of your anger. You nodded slowly, almost trancelike. “Ace, give her back her work,” Sabo requested. The snail snatched the air and resumed reading and writing rapidly.

“I’m not a waiter, I’m not bringing -” Ace started to complain again.

“Ace, got to the kitchen. Please,” Sabo practically begged. He wished he was there in person so he could do it all himself but for now he needed to rely on his brother. Something in his tone must have alerted Ace, because the door slammed again, signaling that Ace had left the office.

“What? She’s bitten her fingernails down to the nub but her hands aren’t broken, she can get water by-”

“Ace, shut up. I need you to reach behind the spice rack, there’s an unlabeled vial. Do it now.” Ace grumbled but Sabo heard the sound of rummaging. “Put five drops into a cup of water and make sure Sunny drinks it,” Sabo continued.

“What is this shit?” Ace asked, the snail examining something in its hand. “If it’s good drugs, I’m gonna be sad you held out on me,” Ace said with a raised eyebrow. Sabo sighed, at least Ace was consistent in his irritating nature.

“It’s to help her sleep. I was…giving her some when I was on the island. I think that because she suddenly stopped getting it, her sleep cycle is messed up -” The Ace snail’s face grimaced.

“Sabo, that’s fucked. I can’t believe you were drugging her, what else were you doing to her when she was asleep -”

“Nothing! It’s not like that! This is how she is if I don’t help her sleep. Can you blame me? I bet you she’s been working non-stop since the last time you saw her. Just make sure she drinks the water and then leave her alone. Come back in half an hour and she’ll be asleep. Transfer her to the bed and don’t wake her up.”

“Fine, fine. But only this once. You can’t just keep drugging her forever, you know,” Ace stated, crossing his arms over the bandages on his chest.

“Just this once, I promise. Please.” Ace sighed but Sabo heard the sound of running water and footsteps a few moments later.

“Here, Sunny, drink this,” Ace said, the snail holding out its hand.

“Okay,” you replied automatically.

“Ok, she drank it,” Ace confirmed to Sabo. “I’ll be back in half an hour,” Ace said to you.

“Okay,” you said again. Snail Ace rolled its eyes.

“That’s all she says ‘okay, okay, okay,’ geez. It’s annoying,” Ace muttered. Sabo finally stopped pacing and sat back down on his bed.

“Thank you, Ace.” Sabo said, grateful for Ace’s presence on the island.

“Yeah, yeah. I get it now, she’s even more self destructive than I am. And that’s saying something,” Ace said while yawning. “I’ll get her soon, don’t worry. I won’t forget. Talk to ya later, ‘Bo.” Ace hung up the call without waiting for Sabo to say goodbye. Typical.

Sabo rubbed his forehead as he imagined you passed out on his large desk. How could you argue that you needed his help now? He’d left you alone for less than a week and you’d already worked yourself back into a state worse than the one he’d found you in. He was nervous about your emotional and mental state if you made all the connections Sabo had. He’d call in the morning, make sure you were OK. For now, all he could do was worry as he wrapped your old Marine uniform tightly around his gloved hands.

Ace POV

Grumbling to himself, Ace entered Sabo’s office half an hour later, like he said he would. Sure enough, you were drooling onto a pile of papers you’d been making notes on. Sighing, he picked you up like a child and started carrying you out of the office with your head on his shoulder. He couldn’t believe Sabo would drug you without your knowledge. Well, he could, but he didn’t condone it. You shifted in your sleep, drooling now onto Ace’s shoulder. He smiled lightly to himself, it reminded him of all those times with Luffy, carrying him around the forest after a long day of hunting.

Climbing the stairs slowly so as not to jostle you, Ace made the short walk to your room. He hadn’t been in Sabo’s room in months, there wasn’t any reason to go in there. Ace deposited you gently in the middle of the bed, covering you with the thin quilt Bepo had made for him. It wouldn’t be enough to keep you warm in the night, Ace thought to himself. If he still had his devil fruit…well, a lot of things would be different. For now, he went to his own room and brought a spare blanket he had in his closet and set it over you.

Ace went out to enjoy the sunset and clear his mind. He’d done a lot of meditation over the past year, but it didn’t help. He was plagued by nightmares when he tried to sleep and deep shame when he was awake. Ace knew Sabo wanted him to leave the island, maybe go find his former crew or their brother, but Ace…just couldn’t. He couldn’t stand to see the disappointment, the rage, the bitter faces of those he had once stood next to, now glaring at him with hatred. A part of him thought that it would have been better if he died at Marineford, so that the death of his Father wouldn’t have been in vain. But, he hadn’t. Ace couldn’t even die right. And he couldn’t imagine the grief Sabo would feel if he left again. So Ace stayed in the limbo of living and dying, eking out a small, isolated life on the deserted island.

Until Sabo brought you. Ace was smarter than people gave him credit for, he knew what Sabo was up to. He was trying to win you over, to get you to like being with him and on the island. In reality, you had Sabo wrapped around your finger, but you couldn’t see it. Ace clocked Sabo watching you, preparing food and drinks for you, gaining your trust day by day. It was clear that you were an unmitigated genius, the conversations you and Sabo shared were far beyond Ace’s understanding. But you were also sweet and shy, kind and reserved, qualities that Sabo preferred in his partners. Some might think Sabo would want someone who could fight alongside him, but Ace thought Sabo needed someone to take care of, someone to protect. If it wasn’t Ace, it was Luffy. And now Luffy didn’t need them, he had a crew and was more powerful than either one of them, even if he was still an idiot.

Which only further cemented in Ace’s mind his decision to stay on the island. He was weak now, no Devil Fruit power. Yes, he still could use haki, yes he could still fight, but he felt like a piece of him was missing now that he didn’t have the Mera Mera no Mi. Not only was he a complete failure, he was also the first person to ever lose the ability to use his devil fruit. Sabo wouldn’t fight him using the fruit which defeated the point of sparring, in Ace’s mind. Who would want to see him now? Scarred, depressed, weak, useless. It was better that the world thought he was dead, that he stayed on the island in obscurity and faded into the nothingness that he deserved.

Your POV

You blinked awake, your mind and mouth felt like they were filled with cotton. Looking around, you were in your bed, covered by a much warmer blanket than your usual quilt. The last thing you remembered was thinking you needed a quick power nap in Sabo’s office…but looking out the window, it must have been at least early afternoon. Stretching in the bed, you saw you were still in your clothes from three days ago. It was gross, but you were glad Ace hadn’t changed you like Sabo had on the boat. You tried swallowing a few times to get the taste of old shoes out of your mouth but it didn’t work. After a quick stretch, you climbed out of bed. Your marathon of working had done a number on you, but you were feeling refreshed.

Descending the staircase, you yawned your way over to the kitchen to make another pot of coffee. You had a lot of research to go through and work on, it was going to be another long day. And night. You started thinking about the next steps in reverse engineering the research while unlatching the coffee canister. You prepared to scoop the grounds but found it empty, which was odd. You distinctly remember there being more coffee, you would have remembered something like that missing, even in your sleep deprived state.

“Looking for something?” Ace asked. You squeaked, you hadn’t seen him waiting for you on the couch.

“Yeah, eh, sorry for yelling,” you apologized. You hoped things weren’t awkward between you and Ace, it would make things a drag if the only other person on the island was mad at you. “Do you, um, know where the coffee went?” you asked hesitatingly.

“I have it, and I’ll give it back on two conditions,” he said, drawing out the tension between you.

“Um…what’re the conditions?” you replied, sitting down on a bar stool to continue the conversation. Even though you thought Ace didn’t want anything nefarious with you, not knowing anything about him made you nervous. You absently brought your finger to your face to chew on your nail, but put it back down when you saw the state they were in. Damn, you’d really bitten them down to the nub, you’d have to bandage them later.

“I think they’re pretty reasonable. One, we need to call Sabo. He’s been calling me like, every hour to see if you’re awake and it’s annoying,” Ace said, counting off his fingers. You swallowed, your throat dry.

“Alright. What’s the second one?” you agreed, chewing on your lip and tasting blood. Ugh, you had done a number on yourself.

“Two, you have to explain to me what you’re working on. I’m not as smart as you or Sabo, but I wanna know what’s going on. Sabo’s stressed out and so’re you, and I wanna know why,” Ace finished, crossing his arms over his chest. You blinked a few times, surprised at Ace’s demands. They were far more sensible than you expected them to be.

“Ok. I can do both of those things. But can we make some coffee before we call Sabo? I have a feeling he’s not going to be happy with me,” you said with a grimace. You weren’t particularly happy with yourself either, truth be told. Ace hopped off the couch and meandered over to the kitchen. Reaching up to the highest cabinet, he pulled a canister of coffee you hadn’t seen off the shelf.

“It’s convenient you’re short, me’n Sabo can keep stuff away from you up there,” Ace said with a smile. You raised an eyebrow.

“What is Sabo keeping away from me?” you asked, curious.

“Uh…n-nothing! Nothing at all, just saying! Let’s call Sabo!” Ace stammered, a blush rising to his cheeks. You hummed but didn’t say anything. Ace pulled the Den Den out of his kimono and dialed Sabo.

Puru…

Sabo picked up on the first ring. “Ace, is she -”

“She’s here,” you replied, interrupting before either one of them had the chance to, grabbing the snail from Ace.

“Sunny! Thank goodness, you had me worried, how are you feeling? Do you remember talking to me yesterday?” You squinted, trying to think of the past few days. Physically, you felt OK, you’d actually pulled worse stunts. Emotionally…

“I remember you called, but I don’t remember the conversation we had, I’m sorry,” you said. “Listen, Sabo, I’m sorry I worked myself too hard, but -”

“ Worked yourself too hard ? Sunny, you stayed up for three days with no sleep, or food, or water. That’s worse than you were before, I know that -”

“Sabo,” you interrupted quietly, “did you know about my research being used for the Seraphim?” The line went silent for a moment.

“I suspected, but I didn’t have enough proof. I was going to show you my findings when I came back and see if you made the same connections that I did,” Sabo said. “That’s part of the reason I was sent to retrieve you from the base, it wasn’t just the Will of D. -”

“-but you weren’t sent to retrieve me, right? You were sent to kill me,” you continued, setting the snail down on the bar counter. You didn’t know where your courage to speak your mind came from. Maybe it was because Sabo was far away and couldn’t physically see you, maybe it was from his confirmation about your research, maybe it was because you were tired of being left in the dark, maybe it was your conscience talking. All you knew is you needed to hear the truth, even if your hands were shaking too much to hold the snail.

“That’s true,” Sabo said quietly, “but I couldn’t. I just…couldn’t. Please,” Sabo begged into the phone, “please don’t be afraid. I won’t allow anything to happen to you. You’re mine to protect.” You didn’t reply, your courage deflating after Sabo’s intense statement.

“Ok,” was all you said. You handed the snail back to Ace and went to the kitchen to make another pot of coffee. You could still hear the conversation, you just needed a break. You didn’t deserve protection, not after what you’d done.

“See? She’s up and making more coffee, she’s all good -”

“One last thing, Sunny,” Sabo said in a stern tone. Your eyes flicked to the snail in Ace’s hand. “You can’t work like that. Not anymore. I’ll always protect you - even from yourself. Ace is going to lock you out of the office every night after 8 PM,” Sabo said while you balked. You’d already started thinking about which documents you’d take to your room when he continued. “And no working outside the office. I’ll know,” he said, his intense stare piercing you even though it was coming from a snail.

“I don’t need you or Ace looking after me, I can set my own limits, I -” you balked at Sabo, ready to defend yourself.

“Are you sure?” Sabo asked, voice low. “Look at your fingers. Look at your lips. You were practically in kidney failure when we last talked. You would work yourself to death if no one stopped you.” You flushed, Sabo’s words stinging your ego. He didn’t understand, you had to figure out what to do, the consequences were too dire otherwise.

“Please, I - I like taking care of you. Let me help you,” Sabo crooned to you. “I don’t want to embarrass or upset you. Please, Sunny? Will you do this for me? Let me help you?”

You nodded, silently agreeing with Sabo’s plan. You’d figure out a way to get everything sorted in the time he gave you. You didn’t deserve anyone’s kindness, not anymore, but you couldn’t refuse Sabo’s offer.

“Ok, that’s enough. We’ll talk again some other time, Sabo,” Ace said, hanging up the call. “Whew, glad that’s over,” Ace said, relaxing against the couch. “Now that you’ve started the coffee, what are the Seraphim? And how are you connected to them?”

Grabbing a mug and filling it with coffee, you shuffled over and sat across from Ace on the couch. “It’s a long story, get comfortable. OK, do you know anything about lineage factors?” you asked. Ace shook his head.

“Alright, not a problem. Lineage factors are the building blocks of life, every single living thing in the world has a lineage factor. It’s how we all turn out the way we do, from our strengths to the way we look to the diseases we get. Your genetic makeup, the traits you get from your parents, can affect it, your environment can affect it, and eating a devil fruit can affect it. With me so far?” you asked. Ace nodded.

“So, I’ve been researching lineage factors for a long time, at the molecular level. I was given different assignments by the Marines over the years, but they all were about how to replicate, create, or delete different elements from Lineage Factors. So, for example, I could have been working on how to cure West Blue Nerve Depletion. It’s a fatal disease you can get if both of your parents are from a certain part of the West Blue. With my work, if I successfully identified the right Lineage Factor, you could hypothetically erase it and no one would get it any more. That’s really simplified, but you get the point.”

Your face soured as you thought through the next part you had to explain. You gripped the edge of the cushion you were sitting on, pushing on it to relieve your budding anxiety “So. Um. A long time ago, Vegapunk figured out a way to make fake Zoan Devil Fruits using Lineage factors. It was before my time,” you supplied. “The first time around it wasn’t considered a success and the project was abandoned. But a few years ago the project got renewed interest. Sabo - I…we think that Vegapunk used some of my research to make the new generation of artificial Zoan fruits. They’re called SMILE fruits. They…it’s…there’s a lot going on with them. A lot of horrible, horrible…um…” you stammered as you felt yourself starting to clam up. You put your hand on your chest and rubbed as you continued.

“Um, Sabo’s documents show Donquixote Doflamingo was selling these fruits to Kaido and um…it’s…dangerous and they’ve hurt a lot of people. Killed a lot of people. He m-made a lot of m-money, well, the fruit users didn’t….Doflamingo..it’s not…I’m not…” you kept trying to talk but it was getting harder to take full breaths.

“Hey, it’s OK,” Ace said, leaning forward on the couch, getting up quickly. He moved to sit next to you, putting a hand on your back. You let him, the touch grounding you in reality.

“It’s not OK, um, I thought - I thought I was helping, um people and I was, ah….Doflamingo and Kaido…the Beast Pirates…” you couldn’t get anything in or out, either breaths or thoughts. Ace started rubbing his hand on your back in circles, trying to soothe you. You didn’t know why he was being nice to you, you didn’t deserve it with all the blood on your hands. Your work had resulted in the deaths of hundreds of people, injured thousands more, led to the consolidation of Doflamingo’s power, Kaido’s army growing exponentially and plenty more. You were directly responsible for the suffering of thousands and thousands of innocent lives.

“You don’t have to keep explaining if you don’t want to,” Ace said softly. You stopped talking for a few minutes, letting the anxiety flow through you. But you needed to tell someone, you needed someone else to know the terrible things you’d done. A part of you hoped Ace would find you repugnant after you told him everything, that he would yell at you. You wanted someone to make you feel as awful as you deserved.

“Th-there’s more,” you stammered. “Vegapunk was only able to make Zoan fruits at first, but documents from the RA show that they’re using pieces of my research to kind of make fake paramecia fruits. I worked on this blood a long time ago, I’m not sure exactly what it was, but I think - they’re…ah…making Seraphim. Or made them already, I’m not sure. They’re kind of clones of the Warlords with paramecia powers. Destructive, but completely controlled, it was all done using parts of my…my…uh…my…” you couldn’t talk any longer as your throat closed and your world narrowed.

Everything was too tight, too small, too constricting. You pushed Ace’s hand off you and ran out of the house, the screen door slamming with a bang. You needed to be away, away from Ace, away from the house, away from the words, away from the guilt, away from the shame…You didn’t know where you were going, you were just blindly running running running running…your socks hit water and you sank to your knees, palms touching the shore. The rocky pebbles of the beach pierced your hands and knees and the cold water lapped at your skin as you took half a breath, trying to calm down, trying to relax, trying to breathe, trying to forget, trying to breathe trying to breathe breathe breathe breathe

“-after you. Holy shit, you’re fast when you run,” Ace said, finally catching up to you, long hair fluttering around his face. “You alright?” he asked, hand hovering near you as if unsure whether to touch you. You tried to nod but weren’t sure if you were successful or not.

“C’mon, let’s breathe with the waves. In and out. Look, here comes a wave. In…….and out, look the wave is going……in……..and out……” You were on all fours, taking in ragged breaths to the sounds of the waves with Ace’s voice, your hands in the water up to your wrists. You didn’t know how long you were doing it, but eventually your breath evened out and you were able to take in a full lungful of air, making your chest hurt with the effort. Finally, you were able to sit down, though you longed to be back in bed. Your adrenaline rush had left you drained, probably still tired from the three days you didn’t sleep. You sat where you were, lower body drenched in sea water from the waves.

“T-thanks,” you said in a halting tone, unsure if your ability to speak would last.

“No problem. I used to do this all the time, it’s a..um, breathing box technique? I think that’s what Sabo called it,” Ace said, scratching his head. “Box breathing, that’s it.”

Everything was quiet for a few minutes as the two of you sat side by side, watching the deep blue sea. As the last of your adrenaline faded, you noticed your hands were stinging from the salt water on your open wounds.

“You explained lineage factors really good. Sabo’s tried before, but I was too dumb to understand when he did,” Ace said, breaking the silence.

“You’re not dumb, it’s pretty complicated. Most scientists don’t really understand it either, that’s why there’s not that many of us who study it in depth,” you replied. You didn’t think Ace was stupid, formal education on a lot of islands left a lot to be desired. You’d met a lot of highly intelligent people over the years who simply hadn’t had educational opportunities. Ace hummed.

“Can you look at my lineage factor?” Ace asked. His tone was casual but his back was stiff.

“Sure, gimme your hand,” you requested. You’d looked at so many lineage factors, most were the same outside of devil fruit users. Ace gave you his hand palm up, you took it like you were going to read his fortune. In a way, you were. Magnifying again and again, you reached his lineage factor. Ace leaned over to watch you study it.

“Oh, that’s - that’s really interesting actually. Are you a devil fruit user? Your lineage factor suggests you are,” you said, poring over his genetic structures. “But also, there are some anomalies, and wow, that’s unique, is that Conqueror’s…? ” you continued, magnifying it even more, “Ace, this is fascinating. I’d love to research you more,” you said. You were lost in thought, moving the magnification around to see more of his factors. You’d never seen anything like it, he had so many factors you studied, but you’d never seen them all in one person before.

“I was a user, but not any more.”

“I’m sorry?” you’d missed what he said, you were busy looking at the latent power held within the man.

“I used to have a devil fruit, but not any more,” Ace repeated.

“Uh, what do you mean, not any more? I thought they only regenerate if you die,” you questioned, dropping the magnification.

“I did,” Ace deadpanned. “I died at Marineford. I was completely dead for…maybe 3 minutes. That’s all it took for the fruit to regenerate. Sabo went and found the fruit when he wasn’t sure I would pull through and… it’s his now. I’m the first person in history to lose devil fruit powers,” Ace said, laughing bitterly.

“Isn’t it better that you lived? You can always -”

“Hey Sunny -” Ace interrupted. You’d gotten used to his bad habit by now and just cocked your head at Ace’s upcoming question. “Since your research was used to make paramecia and zoan fruits, could you make a Logia fruit?”

Your eyes widened.

#op x y/n #sabo x you #revolutionary sabo #sabo x reader #meow meows #x reader #reader insert #under the microscope au #tw yandere #yandere one piece #yandere sabo #flame emperor sabo #ace one piece

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wiinterz · 2 months ago

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: •̩̩͙ ໋ II. IN YOUR EYES ˖ Shoko Ieiri.

actress!shoko x actress/rockstar-fem!reader

genre(s) - headcanon, modern day au, social media au, older x younger, established relationship

description - your band, serenity & the stones, inspired by 90s glam rock and 00s heavy metal bands, are constantly growing with fans coming in hot. your acting career skyrocketing, landing you in the lap of shoko ieiri, which leads you to be lucky enough to start a relationship with her. it's easy so far, the only difficulty is nosy news reporters and fans wanting to know more about your relationship with the model and actress. can you handle the heat, or will it be too much for you?

warnings - profanity, fluff, age gap (shoko is forty in this and reader is twenty-eight), men dni.

tay’s letter 💌 - hi my angels, just wanna pop in and lyk i see your comments you left me on the taglist docs and thank you for the sweet words! it makes me happy to know that you guys are enjoying it so far, hope i keep that up for you! stay safe, drink water, and take time for yourself. <3

rules I taglist | g & r masterlist | <- last — next ->

shokoieiri

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shokoieiri in your eyes

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jamiesdiary: missing you crazy chickpea, can’t wait to be back in town so we can hang out, auntie also says hey

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⤷ shokoieiri: missing you & aunt a lot more, jam jam 🫶🏻

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yourusername: angelic as always + we love bambi

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⤷ shokoieiri: all you, angel face (you’re so right, can’t believe he’s getting bigger)

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⤷ allaboutshoko: flirting in public is the most gayest shit you two could ever do

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aintgotshiforme: i want you really bad 😩

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kiwianxious: y’all she posted for me, she did this for ME.

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cometatthealter: imma marry tf out of you one day 🤭

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⤷ gengotthat: that sounds like a threat 🤨

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⤷ cometatthealter: ain’t no threat when it’s gon happen hehehe 😛

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⤷ gengotthat: oh you need to be put in a straight jacket 🫤 you’re scaring the hoes

salemmitchell: you’re so gorgeous, i ❤️ u

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⤷ shokoieiri: thank you! i ❤️ u too!!!

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quite_the_opposite: SHOKO PLEASEEE I KNOW I’M IN HIGH SCHOOL BUT NOBODY NEEDS TO KNOWWWW 😩🤭 DADDDYS HOMEEEE

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⤷ shokoloco: fren you just told everyone tho KMFOAO 😭😭😭

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⤷ quite_the_opposite: shushhh I’ll just delete it hehe

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⤷ shokoloco: i’m going to hold your hand when i say this: digital footprint.

yourusername

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yourusername mini dump + suguru hitting me with info & my new wig i did

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shokoieiri: so that’s where my red heels went

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⤷ yourusername: i have no idea what you’re talking about 🧍🏾‍♀️👩🏾‍🦯

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⤷ chickencoop: being able to fit the same size is wild, AND EXCUSE ME?? TF IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN Y/N @/yourusername

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suguruslefttoe: no one gon bring up the softcore porn comment??? no??

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⤷ neogotmyback: everyone in the friend group freaks (me too 😔😩)

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⤷ she_loveme: tryna do sum softcore po- with her (WHO SAID THAT?!?)

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⤷ suguruslefttoe: GIRL?! HELP??? (i get it)

michelletheeicon: NEW MUSIC?!? Y/N PLEASE GIVE ME THE COMPUTER, SHIT.

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buckmytick: baby come home, the kids miss you 😔🫶🏾😛

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⤷ stoopid: imma need you to back up from my wife…NOW

yourusername’s story:

sierradeaton’s twitter:

taglist - maximum 60: @shokosbunny @dazaisfavgf @uzumakioden @soraya-daydreams @niyalovests @favbisexualh0e @toddjly @mits-vi @linaaeatsfamilies @mochipls @cup1dsh0t @evilari111

anyone name in red are ones i could not @ please get that taken cared of!

wiinterz © do not repost, copy or translate my works

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pukefactory · 4 months ago

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PLEASE comfort with n murder drones Tumblr dot com with a s/o who is emotional and constantly thinks they’re not good enough for n whenever you can! /ref ^^

remember to dink warder and eat when u need to bestieeee <3

If there’s one thing I’m particularly good at, it’s drinking plenty of water (which isn’t very good when my bladder is as fragile as glass lol)—but I hope you’re taking care of yourself too, staying hydrated and eating when necessary. The same applies to anyone reading this! That aside, this is such a wholesome request, and I hope reading about N being an absolute sweetheart eases any troubles you might be facing.

˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖✮ WARM THOUGHTS ✮˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖

▷ Summary: A compilation of headcannons featuring N comforting an insecure reader.

▷ Character(s): Serial Designation N (Murder Drones)

▷ Genre: Headcanons, Fluff, SFW, Comfort

▷ Warning(s): None - Completely Safe!

✶ Despite his shortcomings, N is deeply in tune with your emotions—possibly even more than you are. He instantly picks up on your distress, much like an emotional support dog, and is by your side before you can even explain what’s bothering you. Once you open up to him, N is determined to do whatever it takes to show how important you are to him.

✶ The moment you begin doubting yourself in any way, N is quick to reassure you that you’re not a burden to him and that you’re the most important person in his life. He pulls you into a gentle embrace, wrapping you in his sturdy metal arms while offering heartfelt affirmations of love and support.

✶ To help you feel at ease when you’re feeling down, N wraps you in the softest, coziest blanket he can find and sits beside you, resting his head on your shoulder while holding your hand. Instinctively, he wraps his tail around you for added comfort and support. Whether you need someone to quietly sit with you or listen to your troubles, he’s always there, no matter what.

✶ N may not be the greatest at offering advice, but he always puts in his best effort. You can count on him to listen carefully and take everything you say to heart. He works tirelessly to help you overcome any self-worth struggles with his gentle smile and playful gestures of affection. When he tells you he loves you, he truly means it—and if you ever doubt it, he’ll make sure to remind you every chance he gets.

✶ Whenever you begin to relax, N does his best to provide a distraction. Whether it’s anime, drawing, or reading, he will try anything to ease your mind. Once the two of you discover an activity that truly soothes your nerves, he makes sure to always have the necessary materials readily available for any future emergencies.

✶ Forehead kisses are his go-to! He gently presses soft kisses against your head to comfort you, whether it’s after a difficult moment or an emotional outburst. The tenderness of his touch provides a calming presence, offering something reassuring to focus on during moments of panic—a sweet and affectionate distraction.

✶ If you feel drained after a panic attack, N will effortlessly pick you up and carry you wherever you need to go. He’ll often keep you close simply out of concern, refusing to let you out of his sight for a while. His default is to hold you in a gentle bridal carry, never showing any signs of strain, no matter how long he carries you. Your comfort is his priority, and as long as you’re at ease, so is he.

✶ Deep down, N is genuinely concerned for your well-being and simply wants to keep you safe by his side. At times, he may push himself too hard in an effort to improve your mental state and solve everything on his own. However, the moment you reassure him to slow down and just stay by your side, he quickly relaxes, realizing that his presence alone is more than enough for you.

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inkykeiji · 1 year ago

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Clari, I see you missing Dabi 👀👀I must raise you my favorite playlist that someone on YT made for him of all time. It includes voice overs (Japanese voice lines, and also steamy additions around the middle to the end), in case you haven't heard this before!!

https://youtu.be/oQD-356fNM0?si=vqgZyHXPKPh6Aj3b

I love it so much, it's a huge comfort audio to me and I always listen to it when I have to drive from my hometown to the airport in the next city over (Canadians unite 😂😂) I have other playlists with English voice overs but none of them beat this one, aside from glitter's Shiggy/Dabi x Listener playlist (that also has voice overs and is??? WOW). ANYWAY ENOUGH RAMBLING HAHAHAHA!!

i am missing him so so so much today ｡ﾟ･ (>﹏<) ･ﾟ｡ ah omg!!! i’ve never come across this before, thank you so much for sharing it with me (and inadvertently the rest of my blog!!) <333 it’s really thoughtful of you and i appreciate it so much <3 i only listened to the first few minutes and it already has me grinning like a lovesick idiot (*ﾉ▽ﾉ)

#I DID NOT KNOW U WERE A FELLOW CANADIAN???????????#unless u mentioned it before and i just forgot but i usually remember my fellow canadians i think!!!#EITHER WAY VERY GROOVY #thank you again for sharing this with me!! <3 it was very kind c:#i hope you’re having a fab saturday night!!!#as always please stay safe!! and don’t forget to drink enough water!!!#lately i’ve been so dehydrated >.<#sending much love your way my friend <3 #clari gets mail #inky.recs

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trophyprincess · 10 months ago

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Here are some tips that have helped me stay sane in the face of my body dysmorphia and disordered eating habits.

Positivity time! This one's for all the ladies out there struggling with their bodies.

Body dysmorphia causes changes to visual areas of the brain. Your brain is literally lying to you. You are hallucinating. No, seriously. This is SO SO IMPORTANT. Look, if you have an ED then chances are, you may very well have legitimate body dysmorphic disorder. Your brain may be warping and distorting the image in the mirror. It's why everyone around you keeps saying how thin you are, but all you can see in the mirror is flab. It's a neurophysiological thing. (Most of the literature on BDD seems to pertain to cases regarding the patient's facial features or similar, rather than in the context of body size in ED patients, though.)

One binge won't undo your progress. Everyone fucks up sometimes. Don't dwell, don't ruminate, just pick yourself up the next day and keep going! This applies to "binges" in the proper clinical sense, as well as 4n4 "binges" that are more aptly described as simply "overeating." I occasionally will give myself a "free day" once a month or so, or if it's a holiday or something.

If you fast and restrict, take a good multivitamin, plus a calcium supplement! I also take thiamine to be safe. Being thin and undereating are associated with osteoporosis risk later in life, so calcium is a must! You need to make sure you're getting all of the critical micronutrients your body needs to function.

Exercise, especially cardio, helps with dopamine regulation. I have industrial strength ADHD-PI, ymmv. I also find that exercise bike, walking, or even pacing constantly = STIMMY STIMMY STIM TIME STIMS, MUST STIM, MORE STIM, CANNOT BE STILL, FUCK YOUR QUIET HANDS. Again, ymmv, fuck quiet hands, all my ND homies hate quiet hands.

Strengthening/resistance exercises help prevent osteoporosis later in life. 20-30 minutes 3-5x/week of yoga or pilates is great for this!

THC gummies are pretty low calorie. Shoutout to drugs other than alcohol for not having calories! (I use cannabis and hallucinogens, not big on hard drugs though.)

If you do drink, there are low cal options, but please moderate and try to follow CDC guidelines and avoid frequent binge drinking!! Guys, susceptibility to addiction runs in families. Also, struggling with impulse control aspects of binging may cooccur sometimes with susceptibility to alcohol abuse and addiction. I like vodka with diet tonic water, gin and tonic with diet tonic water, and vodka cosmos with diet 5 cal cranberrry "juice!" White Claw and similar hard seltzers are also great. Personally, I avoid drinking alone, don't drink all that often, and take care to be responsible and cautious. Ymmv, especially if you're still in early adulthood and just now starting to really experiment with substances!

When you do eat, make sure to get enough protein and fats! Carbs, you can take or leave. No one ever died from lack of carbohydrates, oddly enough. Protein and fat, though? I've had seizures due to low blood protein (combined with an accidental double dose of bupropion, to be fair). Rabbit starvation is a thing. This is especially important to pay attention to if you're vegetarian or vegan! Egg whites, chicken, tuna and other fish, olives, chickpeas, nuts, and beans are all good low calorie sources of protein and fats. (Olives, legumes, and especially nuts are energy dense though, so moderation is key.)

Enjoy the nice, healthy, low calorie foods that you do eat. It's okay to enjoy food, even if it's safe foods like light salads or cauliflower rice with vegetables.

Seek out social support and harm reduction advice. One thing people overlook about the whole "pr0 4n4" thing is that these communities are key sources of social support and harm reduction information for people who struggle with EDs.

#personal text posts

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dragcnbreak · 2 years ago

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AHHH THE AGE REGRESSION ONES R SO CUTE I NEED MORE!!!!! maybe one where reader is having like a breakdown/ptsd flashback which results in them regressing involuntarily and mike comforts them? could be headcanons or a fic idrc :3

IM SO GLAD PEOPLE GET THE CG MIKE VISION… here is my attempt at writing something along those lines!!! I hope u enjoy nonnie <3

◞♡࿐

The Schmidt household was practically a second home to you. You crashed on the couch more often than not and even had a drawer full of your things in Mike’s room for easy access. Your living situation was less than ideal and you felt more comfortable with Mike and Abby than anyone else so it just worked out.

That’s how you found yourself outside their door one morning, knowing it would be just Mike at the house as Abby had already left for school. You used your key and offered a shaky smile to the sleepy man on the couch. “Hey.” He says at first, taking a few seconds to look up at you. When he finally does, his eyes widen at the tears running down your cheeks and he rushes towards you.

“What’s wrong, honey?” Mike asks, using his thumb to wipe under your eyes. You don’t answer but instead, you start to sob loudly. He’s definitely awake now, all his attention on you. He helps you the best he can to the couch so you can sit down. The second he sits down with you, you fling yourself into his arms and continue your breakdown.

Mike is quick to hold you, rubbing your back softly and whispering soothing things like “it’ll be okay” and “I’ve got you”. It helps more than he knows and the both of you sit there for what seems like hours.

When you begin to quiet down, you detach yourself from him and rub at your eyes. “Are you feeling any better?” Mike asks you and you nod lazily, a sudden tiredness washing over you. “T’ank you, Mikey.” The slurring and the nickname alerts Mike to the fact that sometime during your crying session, you slipped into littlespace.

You didn’t age regress too often, specifically around Abby. But Mike was always more than happy to take care of you when you did, especially when you were sad. “Of course, baby,” he uses his favorite nickname for you when you’re in that headspace, “how about we get you something to eat and drink and then you go take a nap?” He continues.

You nod again, “m’kay.” The idea of eating doesn’t sound too bad and you know you need to stay hydrated, even more so after crying. Mike grabs the television remote and turns on Abby’s favorite channel with all the cartoons. He gives you a kiss on your forehead and then hurries to the kitchen.

He and Abby had just had breakfast so he heats up the remaining pancakes and bacon, periodically checking on you. He slathers the pancakes with butter like he knows you like it and also cuts them up. Mike then delivers them to you on a plate.

You lighten up a bit at the food, starting to dig in as he goes to get you a glass of water. He comes back and sets it on the table in front of you. Before too long, you’ve finished your food and water and are back rubbing your eyes tiredly again.

“How about that nap?” Mike offers with a knowing smile. You nod and make grabby hands, indicating you want to be picked up. The man isn’t the most built but he works out enough to easily pick you up, knowing how much you like it when he does. You wrap your arms around his neck while he holds your thighs not too tight.

In a few seconds, you’re in Mike’s room and he deposits you carefully on his bed. He tucks you in so you’re nice and safe and comfortable. He’s about to turn away when you stop him. “Can we cuddle, please?” You ask and he already knows he’s not going to say no. He hums and slips into the bed, fortunately already in comfortable wear.

In the bed, you turn to face the wall opposite the door and Mike catches on, wrapping you up in his arms. Before he knows it, you and him fall asleep even with the sun peeking through the blinds at you both.

◞♡࿐

this was kinda therapeutic to write because ive been going through a tough time myself :( tysm for the request <3

#mine #text #my fanfics #sfw agere #sfw age regression #agere #age regression #mike schmidt #michael schmidt #mike schmidt x reader #mike schmidt x you #fnaf #fnaf movie #five nights at freddy's #five nights at Freddy’s movie #mike schmidt x male reader #mike schmidt x female reader #mike schmidt x gn!reader

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iwamimimimi · 1 year ago

Note

Have you ever added too many/not enough mi’s when you’re tagging your art or do you count

Also thank you for creating! I’m not a sskk main but it still brings a smile to my face when I see your work. Please stay safe and drink plenty of water! <3

#asked and answered

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irondad-defensesquad · 2 months ago

Text

even if we're just dancing in the dark

In which Tony has a bad dream, Peter hasn't slept at all, and they're two stubborn idiots. Also on AO3!

TRIGGER WARNINGS: past abuse and neglect, bad dream/nightmare, and implied/referenced alcoholism.

DO NOT SHIP PETER AND TONY. P/roship DNI.

It’s dark and cold. Chilling cold.

It’s all black and white. Only black and white. Tony sees no gray. He sees no stars, either. Only white snow.

He searches for any other color, preferably any orange, warm fire, the smell of hot cocoa… any welcoming home.

Tony, finally, encounters a payphone. Unfortunately, it’s not inside a cabin. He has some change left and he calls the first person on his mind. The one person who misses him when he’s gone. The one person who always picks him up, no matter how long it takes.

“H-Hello? J?” Tony is freezing so damn much, it hurts. “C-Can you come p-pick me up? He… He k-kicked me out of the car… M-Made me walk… Please, I’m cold…”

He doesn’t receive any reply.

“I-I’m- I’m in the middle of the road. I can’t… see anything, b-but I know I’m not anywhere near home. I s-see a bench, though.”

Tony receives no questions. Least of all any concern from the other end. He hears nothing, not even the ringing. Not even breathing. But someone is there, right?

“J-Jarvis?” He calls. He sounds like the little kid who would go to his butler after having a bad dream, or after Howard screamed at him again.

He waits for a “yes, sir?” or “Master”. Or just “Tony”. Anything.

But…

“Jarvis…?” Tony’s voice is higher, about to break into tears. “Please, don’t leave me.”

Jarvis?

Don’t leave me, buddy.

He wakes up crying.

Tony doesn’t remember the last time he cried after a bad dream. It must’ve been after his parents died, as well as after Jarvis was deceased.

He’s near his fifties and yet he feels like a little kid.

Tony realizes he’s in his room, upstate. He’s home, not anywhere near a blizzard. He’s safe here.

But he’s alone tonight. Pepper is working abroad.

He’s not having an anxiety attack. No, he’s just…

Sad.

Tony curls up in a ball, hugging himself fiercely, yet hiding from the world. He keeps it down, or else Howard is going to open that door with the most violence possible and scream at how worthless his pathetic excuse for a Stark son is.

But then, like Tony usually does, he can’t stay in his bedroom. He often tiptoes to the kitchen – or, in his later years, his workshop. Not his father’s. Tony briefly looks at the time – it’s almost 3 AM. Sighing, he leaves his bed and goes out to another sleepless night.

He figures it’s best not to bother Pepper, considering the time zone. Same counts for Rhodey and Happy, despite them readily talking to Tony whenever he needs.

It must have something do with the topic of the dream.

Tony has told others about the nightmares where he loses everyone he cares about, or a potential end of the world where he’s the only one left alive. But never the ones about his deepest fears: of never being enough, of his father’s words, of the smell of alcohol, things breaking and exploding…

Sometimes, they’re scarier than the usual superhero baggage.

Either way, Tony makes his way to the kitchen to either drink water or make coffee. He hasn’t decided yet.

He passes by the workshop, and…

The lights are on.

Did he forget them on or-

No, there’s music playing. And it’s definitely not AC/DC.

Tony makes a detour, wanting to understand what’s happening. If he did leave everything on or if someone is in there, indeed.

When he goes inside, it’s “I Wanna Be Sedated” by The Ramones playing. It’s not very loud.

And someone’s humming along the music…

“Just get me to the airport, put me on a plane, hurry, hurry, hurry, before I go insane, I can't control my fingers, I can't control my brain, oh, no, oh, oh, oh, ho…”

A teenage boy happens to be hanging from upside down, reading a book and rubbing his pencil against his head. He’s quick to notice Tony in the lab.

“… Oh! Mr. Stark! I’m sorry, did I wake you up?” Peter smiles nervously, getting down from the ceiling.

So, two things: 1) Tony completely forgot that Peter was staying over tonight, and 2) Why is he up at 3 in the morning?

“Mr. Stark?” Peter’s smile disappears. “Are you okay?”

Albeit confused, Tony frowns and questions, “Why aren’t you in bed, mister?”

“Why aren’t you?” Peter puts his hands on his hips, looking far goofier than ever serious.

“Answer me first.”

“But I asked firster than you!”

“Firster- have you even slept at all?”

“What about you? You look spooked, Mr. Stark! Did you have a bad dream or something?”

“I’m the adult here, just answer me already! Why are you up at this goddamn hour?”

“Jeez, Mr. Stark, it’s not even school night, why do you bother?”

“Because someone never tells me what’s going on until I have to find out for myself!”

“Okay, when you’re ready to talk, let me know,” Peter just jumps and returns upside down.

Tony groans. “Do not go upside down on me, young man.”

“Everything is fine, Mr. Stark! I just couldn’t sleep.”

“Why?”

“‘Why’ why? Why do you ask so many questions?”

“Peter, I literally just woke up, stop being a pain in my ass already.”

The teenager pretends to be reading whatever book he has, refusing to look Tony in the eye. Yeah, something is definitely going on with him, too bad Peter is too much of a stubborn little shit to trust his own mentor.

“God, you’re fucking impossible,” Tony gives up and sits on the couch. Dang, he needs coffee.

… Turns out Peter made some coffee, now that he smells it. The coffee maker is not too far from there.

Sighing, Tony takes his mug and gets some coffee for himself. The first sip seems to calm him down. No one ever understood his relationship with black, bitter coffee.

… Even though he knows Peter put a bit more sugar in it. Tony doesn’t mind it, though.

He glares at the teenager, who’s still up there, doing the silent treatment. Meanwhile, “Pretend We’re Dead” by L7 plays in the background. Peter goes back to his humming – he seems to be taking notes in the book. Tony will assume that’s just his homework.

Tony just… “vibes” there. Mostly because Peter won’t say a damn thing.

The music selection seems to tell it for him.

Garbage’s “I Think I’m Paranoid”.

Then Van Halen’s “Jump”.

Peter hums the songs with passion.

Tony, as concerned as he is, notices that the boy is wearing those Hello Kitty pants again. Peter loves saying he hated them, but here they are.

Suddenly, it’s Bruce Springsteen.

“Dancing in the Dark”.

By far the saddest one.

How the hell does Peter dance upside down without feeling sick?

Tony sighs again, seeing that DUM-E is dancing along. A sad dance as well.

His grumpiness, having recovered thanks to the coffee, mostly disappears. Tony may only move his feet along with the music.

Hell, Tony used to hear this a lot when he was Peter’s age (or close to it).

…

“Even if we’re just dancing in the dark… Even if we’re just dancing in the dark…”

For once, Peter turns around to Tony. He isn’t smiling.

The man doesn’t yell at him again. He just gestures at the coffee and drinks another sip.

Not too long after, Peter gets down again. He leaves the book aside and takes his own cup.

“Can I… sit here?” The boy asks, referring to the free space on the couch.

Tony shrugs. “Knock yourself out.”

They sit together in silence. Peter is rather stiff.

They drink coffee simultaneously.

It’s almost funny. They do that without even trying.

“… Um…” Peter gulps. He doesn’t finish the sentence.

Silence.

“… I couldn’t sleep ‘cause… I dunno, sometimes there’s so much in my head, y’know?” Peter explains, awkwardly. “It’s a lot- a lot of things. I didn’t want to be in my room so I thought I could distract myself.”

Tony hums. “I take it that it’s school too, right,” he guesses.

“Yeah. There’s this test coming up… I’m scared I’m gonna screw up, so I just- I just wanted to be prepared.”

“You could’ve asked me to help you—”

“It’s nothing we do here, honestly. It’s English.”

“I can still help with that. I’m not an outsider in other subjects.”

“C’mon, you don’t have to—”

“Peter,” Tony inhales before getting mad again, “I just want you to remember you don’t have to do everything by yourself. If you need help, you can ask me or ask someone else.”

The teen doesn’t protest.

“… Yeah, I know.”

Tony doesn’t reply with a snarky comment or a scoff.

“And you can let me know when you can’t sleep, either,” he says instead. “Especially if something is bothering you.”

Peter may not outright accept, but he’s not completely avoiding the offer, either.

“… You can tell me when something is bothering you, too, Mr. Stark,” the arachnid says. “I know you’re the adult, but then who’s looking out for you?”

“It’s not your job, kid.”

“Yeah, but… you don’t have to, like, put a façade when I’m around. I’m not gonna think any less of you.”

Tony wants to shake his head, but he doesn’t. He wants to cry, too. He wants to cry because of these little puppy eyes that care about him no matter what. Tony certainly doesn’t want to use the kid for his own problems… But coming here helps.

The man puts his free arm around the couch, somewhat inviting Peter to sit closer if he wants.

“… Well… You know my dad,” Tony begins. “He was cold, he never wanted me around, I could never live up to him… So the thing is, in my dream, I relived this one time where… we were returning home from a party – my dad and me. I was drunk. We were both drunk, honestly. But Howard acted like I was the fucked-up alcoholic, that I embarrassed him. I don’t remember well what I said to him, but whatever it was, it was enough for him to kick me out of the car and force me to walk all the way home.”

Peter tenses, listening to all of this.

“I remember yelling right before he left,” Tony continues, “‘Yeah, you know what, I don’t need you! I never did!’. And I was alone. In the freezing snow, with no coat on, because he simply did not care. So, I walked. I was so freaking cold. I was crying and it hurt a lot. I was lucky to find a payphone so I could call my butler, Jarvis. He was the only one there for me at home, from the very beginning. Even then, I had to wait for him, lying on a bench. For a second, I thought Jarvis was going to give up on me, too. ‘Cause he’d been dealing with my bullshit for who knows how long. But no… first thing he did, was wrap me up in two coats, and he took me to his home, so I didn’t have to face my parents’ disappointment. He didn’t get angry at me, and I couldn’t understand why… But I knew I could count on him, always.”

There’s a few seconds of silence before Peter sits a little closer in curiosity.

“Wow. You… never really told me about Jarvis.”

“Jarvis… He was…” too good for me. “He was an actual father to me.” And I feel like I never really told him that.

Peter looks contemplative.

“Jarvis reminds me of you.”

Tony immediately looks at the kid, shocked.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You’d do the same for me. Well, you already do.”

…

“Well… In the dream,” Tony clarifies, “Jarvis gave up on me. So I just… lied in that cold bench, all on my own.”

Peter looks pained for him. Then he replies:

“I’m glad he didn’t, in reality."

Tony gazes at him. Peter is smiling yet tearing up.

“I’m also glad you didn’t give up on me,” the latter whispers, briefly looking away in shame.

Dang it. This kid is going to make him cry again.

But in the good way.

Tony, instinctively, wraps Peter in a hug. Which shocks the teenager.

“Is this- happening??”

“Yes, Peter. It’s happening.”

“Oh.” The boy awkwardly hugs Tony back. “Are you crying?”

“It’s good tears, kid.”

“Okay.”

“Thanks.”

“… Y-Yeah. Thank you, too.”

Tony doesn’t break down like before, but he lets himself cry quietly. He rubs Peter’s back up and down, until he reaches the back of Peter’s head to smooth his curls. The other is still a little unsure how to react, though he eventually relaxes and doesn’t care much about it.

Finally, Tony releases him and pats one of his shoulders.

“… You wanna watch a movie?”

“Oh, sure!”

“I can make popcorn and there’s still ice cream left.”

“Yeah, that’d be cool.”

“You can pick the movie.”

“Awesome, yeah, yeah.”

And of course, Tony hands him his old MIT sweater, noticing that Peter is cold.

At one point, not too long after… Peter has fallen asleep.

Tony doesn’t, but at least he gets to look after the kid, and thus take him to bed.

After smiling fondly, Tony leaves Peter’s room.

After that, he revisits some old family pictures. Specifically the ones with Jarvis. They never had many solo pictures together, unless they were taken by Ana, Jarvis’ wife.

He needs to frame these. Tony is Jarvis’ son, after all.

#lotus speaks #irondad #dad jarvis #abuse tw #neglect tw #alcohol mention tw #fics #my fics

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