#please someone laugh with me
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r3nblade · 1 month ago
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lemon-bread-slice · 8 months ago
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This came to me in a vision
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seventh-district · 10 months ago
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Making Incorrect H:SR Quotes Until I Run Out of (hopefully) Original Ideas - Pt. 1 - Ratiorine Messages Edition
[Pt. 2] [Pt. 3] [Pt. 4] [Pt. 5] [Pt. 6]
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tommarvoloriddlesdiary · 4 months ago
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Hermione: Okay — He’s a 10, but he kills people, calls his sycophants ‘Death Eaters’, and hasn’t gotten over his rather specific fear of babies. Harry: Hmm… and what’s my pet name? Hermione, sighing in dismay: He calls you ‘Darling’- Harry: Smash — we don’t need kids. 
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tubbytarchia · 1 year ago
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For the ranchers a bit more shleep i just really like charakters comfy and nice:Dc /nf
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Eepies. Jimmy woke up to really sore wings but its okay because Tango
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racke7 · 6 months ago
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De-aged and injured Danny
Danny is found out by his parents. They don't take it well.
Clockwork is very upset about this, because he'd gambled on almost-certain odds of them being chill about it. So now he has to run damage-control before this very unlikely time-line goes even further off the deep end.
Unfortunately, Danny needs to be in the living world, not the Infinite Realms. Which means that Clockwork needs to put Danny somewhere safe. Somewhere where nobody will find him.
And double-unfortunately, the only place that remotely fits this bill is to contact Lady Gotham.
City-spirits aren't... super-reliable. They're Neverborns who very very rarely consider "humanoid shapes" worth figuring out. So they just kind of... exist. An ectoplasmic presence that's undeniable, but also extremely difficult to have a conversation with.
Thankfully, Lady Gotham is (for all of her... quirks) generally very hero-aligned. Which is why she's the best one to ask for sanctuary for Danny.
Danny who Clockwork de-aged as a way to "limit his injuries" of being vivisected.
Lady Gotham agrees, but she only has one "safe place" to put him. And her Knight is a little bit too paranoid for her to just dump an injured child in his lair, without causing more trouble than it's worth.
But it's hardly a difficult thing, to arrange a few things, and place Danny in a spot where his injuries will cause her Knight to hurry to his aid.
Such as... in a room filled with medical equipment, right next door to where Joker has just lost a fight with Batman.
Things escalate somewhat when Batman finds him and makes some assumptions about what Joker has been up to. Tempers run a bit high, someone loses a few extra teeth, someone else has to physically drag Bruce off Joker's body before he beats him to death, and the Joker considers the whole thing a grand old laugh (he has no idea what's going on, but it sure pissed off Batty, and that's always a treat).
Of course, the Batfam has to actually investigate the scene, evacuate Danny, give Danny medical aid, and then also ask Danny about what happened.
Danny wakes up and is very confused about a lot of things.
He's no longer being vivisected. Great. Love that part.
He's somewhere he doesn't recognize (the Batcave). Could be good, could be bad. At least the bed is pretty nice?
He's very small. This feels like a personal attack. He might not have gotten a good growth-spurt yet, but taking away what he had is cruel and unusual.
And there's a weirdo in an... armored bat-costume? Who isn't setting off his ghost-sense? What the hell kind of "normal" person wears something like that?
Still, Danny does answer the questions that Batman asks him, because... well, there's a green post-it-note in his pocket that says he shouldn't lie.
So Danny tells Batman about his parents cutting him up "for science". And Batman hears that the Joker somehow managed to hire two mad scientists who (upon the tiniest bit of suggestion from the Joker, who'd definitely seen the similarities between Danny and Jason and thought it would be a "funny prank") had leapt at the opportunity to vivisect their own son.
This is definitely worrying, because from the phrasing, they'd been "wanting to do it for a long time". And considering Danny's slow heartbeat and low body-temperature? They'd been wanting to do it because he was a meta.
So, somewhere out there (the Bats had found no trace of the two) were two deranged lunatics who wanted to cut open metas to "see how they worked".
Batman does the very reasonable thing and actually contacts the rest of the Justice League with their descriptions, just in case they'd managed to leave Gotham before the Bats had tracked them down.
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catwouthats · 6 months ago
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Guys, I’m pretty sure they CGIed/edited Deadpool’s boner to make it more pronounced here, and I can’t stop laughing
Some fuck had to sit in front of their computer and edit this so there was dramatic lightning on his dick 😭😭😭😭 you can see the fucking ridges, I’m losing it 😭😭😭
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cj-kenobi · 2 years ago
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a wild otter-wan has appeared!
do you:
- fight! - give him a little pat!
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sabh0 · 1 month ago
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hello tumblr, the lack of skk content made me go back to my roots (tgcf)
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ginawankenobi · 1 month ago
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LOST • The Onion Articles, part one
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playgroundeyes · 2 months ago
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is this anything
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ratatatastic · 2 months ago
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"Matthew before we start, I wanna talk to you about your mouthguard. What's the purpose of it? What purpose does it serve 'cuz it's never in your mouth?" "I mean, I guess it doesn't really serve that much of a purpose all the time? I try to keep it in as best I can but its got a mind of its own, and it's everywhere so... I don't know. I think in the important times I have it in? But it's not all the time." "Does that bother anyone? Teammates? Opposition? Probably your mum? Does she say anything?" "Yeah, my mom did not like it at the start but she's completely given up on it. Call it about 8 years ago, 9 years ago, when I came into the NHL she gave up on it so. I don't know! Teammates don't really care. Opposition? I've had it grabbed a few times but it's all good." "It's workin' for ya."
florida panthers @ edmonton oilers | 12.16.24 (x)
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5view · 23 days ago
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GOT7 CHAOS, I USED TO PRAY FOR TIMES LIKE THIS
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bolszaja-miedwedica · 10 months ago
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me: do you guys have a nickname you call me?
gods: yeah
me: can you spell it out for me?
gods: *everyone is yelling the letters at the same time*
me: this shit is just gibberish please speak one deity at the same time okay? Apollo please go first
Apollo: fcorcj
me: are u sure its even a word
Apollo: yeah just search it
me: *finds an old book after half an hour and finds the meaning*
me: decoration?
Apollo: yeah :)
me: okay? Aphrodite?
Aphrodite: c / o
me: oh this is actually adorable thank you
Aphrodite: :)
me: Dionysus its your turn
Dionysus: apdedi
me: addition?... just call me a trinket man /j
Dionysus: lmao
me: Marzanna do you have one for me too?
Marzanna: yeah:)
me: is it in polish?
Marzanna: no:)
Marzanna: amndcp
me: a cactus needle...?
Marzanna: lololol
me: be so for real do you guys see me as your cat?
gods: yeah lol
me: alright Bastet?
Bastet: hxddbe
me: is it even a real word?
Bastet: yeah but you will only find it in an old ass book lol
me: can you spell the meaning in english?
Bastet: nah :3
me: do you guys enjoy making fun of me? /j
gods: yeah <3
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