#you always make me smile

[wintersovereign]

"You are lovely as the element you so easily embody."

"Your Majesty, what an unexpected but very welcome compliment. Thank you. Not many beings appreciate cold things. Perhaps it's because they see us as hard, sharp things that are hard to love, and they don't see the softness in us."

[nonsimsical]

💗💗Love train! Send this to all the blogs you love! Don’t forget to spread the love! 💗💗

[likedaylighht]

THIS ASK WAS SPONSORED BY SEATGEEK

I like to think about how Taylor told Scott B about how she was betting on her future. Because this year must be HAUNTING him. She is everywhere. More successful without him than with him. He can never get away from her and he has to live with a constant reminder of just how badly he fucked up.

karma's a relaxing thought! aren't you envious that for you its not!

[babygirlwolverine]

HOLY SHIT CONGRATS OLIVER??? THAT'S AWESOME

JON OH MY GOD ACTUALLY SOBBING RIGHT NOW HOLY SHIT THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH I AM SCREAMING RIGHT NOW THIS MEANS THE WORLD TO ME THANK YOU A BILLION TIMES FOR THINKING ME PASSING THE NAVLE IS AWESOME HEHEH!!!

[mjn-air]

Little wooly baaa lamb

who is she she's so lovely (or scary. on this blog we sheep-shame herc. forever. but with love.)

[saintlioncourt]

Hello my love! I am here to sprinkle some love and good vibes on you and hopefully give you something to smile about

It’s a sunflower for my sunshine! Love you💙💙

💕💛💕💛💕💛💕💛💕💛💕💛

[vyrantium]

💖

hello again nonny!! 💕 i hope you have a wonderful valentine’s day 💝💐🍫

[kailali]

Well well well, who do we have here.. a pretty lemon drop that I love very much.

and a sweet little bunny that I love very much! ♡ (you can't leave that part out. it's very important!)

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[hinamie]

god, i wish i knew you back when i was a kid / but when you stare into me now, it feels like i did

[milkyplier]

hey friendly reminder that u rock <3

hfhdnwnfjkJrjgkshbdhfjxjsngjjdjcjdjdjvjdnjdjrfj

I’m feeling horrible today because I have classes and I didn’t sleep at all last night and this made me happy and I laughed!!! Thank you!!! Thank you!!!!! Thank you!!!! <3 <33333

[kimtaegis]

Destination: your heart Estimated Time of Arrival: whenever you need him ➤ for @jung-koook ♡

[shepscapades]

Xisuma, why in the world were trying to fix your helmet with TAPE?? I thought the superglue idea was unhinged but THIS IS A NEW LEVEL

(I know that it's probably not holding itself ONLY on tape, but the image in my head is too funny)

What's next? You tell me he attached Doc's new arm to his body with tape and glue too??

THIS RESPONSE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE COMICAL but I let it get away from me;;

[babygirlwolverine]

Congratulations on finishing your rotations! Congratulations on graduating! This is so exciting you did it!!

sophos, my love!! thank you so so much oh gosh my heart is gonna burst!! thank you for this super sweet message! i can’t believe I finally made it ajslskks it’s so exciting!! although im anxiously awaiting my NAVLE results which will determine if I can actually start practicing as a veterinarian after I graduate, but im thinking positively and hoping for good news!! thank you again, this truly means the world to me! 🩷

[bacchuschucklefuck]

she turns, makes direct eye contact with you, smiles,

[miss-bookworm]

*hugs you real tight* would you please send this to the first ten people on your dash? make sure someone gets a hug today and stay safe! 💜

Jamie 💚💙💛