#please reblog this if its good and please argue with me if im wrong

[enanzaz]

In Defense of the Shinonomes:

pt1: Ena Shinonome and talent

note: its been a while since ive written summaries on some of my fav characters so if get things wrong feel free to tag me or reblog or dm me or sumthin. this is me word vomitting bc i js like yapping about my fav characters. i will try my best to provide solid evidence. this is mainly written based of her first event/comm and the main story. im still tryna keep up w the events lol but ive been playing for 3ish years

written by an ena kinnie/enthusiast

ena is such a well written character for the enviorment shes in the authors really locked in for her. shes portrayed as this insecure hotheaded girl with an affinity for art despite (allegedly) not having any talent for it. this is what drives her to do art in the first place, to prove to everyone she can do it. she represents anyone whose ever had to prove to someone/people they can do something. she faces failure time and time again. she has canonically failed getting into art programs and by her first comm, barely has a name for herself, in social media and in person

but she still keeps going, albeit for not the greatest reason but still understandable, spite. she despises her father and get increasingly annoyed/insecure because she is so stuck on the fact he doesnt think she can do it, so she does it anyway.

in a way, her dad makes a couple of crucial points as an artist (hear me out for a minute). its INCREDIBLY hard making it as an artist. for a good portion of them they get little to no fame because they are always rejected. its only easy if you have connections or an innate talent (which can be argued). most people create art because they WANT to. they either have a message to give by doing it or they just like the act of creating something pleasing to look at. which makes it SO hard because it can take YEARS to even have a good grasp of it. a good representation of this exact dilemma is blue period (i love that show sm and i need yatora and ena to meet). so from an artists perspective and if her were talking to a COLLEAGUE hes not exactly wrong on this front.

but worded perfectly by akito in her firsy comm (again) shes not seeing him as a fellow artist/ colleague, but this is her DAD, and the fact that hes saying ‘she cant make it’ IS INFURIATING. this is his daughter and hes immediately undermining her will are you fucking kidding me?? this is YOUR child and you arent supporting her interests and goals and career she wants to pursue in life??? everything i listed in the former paragraph is thinks she needs to find out HERSELF or if its even going to be a problem for her. as a girl who also wants to pursue painting/art as a career whose been blessed with parents who can semiaccept it (love my momma), this is just a HORRIBLE thing to tell a kid growing up,.

its no wonder why shes seen as angry/insecure when at home if shes always put down time and time again, which is why its so satisfying to see her succeed in something seperate. why its so nice to see that even though she failed her first art contest/didnt win any prizes she can still feel CONFIDENT in herself and her art. its what all artists want to be.

holy shat this is long but tldr; i love ena, i think shes a wonderful representation of an artist not born with an innate talent, which makes the payoff so much more worth it when you have to work for it. it is incredibly rigorous and time consuming and draining and sure lets say her dad is right, maybe shes not BORN with a talent, but honestly, nobody is, its just easier for some than others. and ena is DAMN GOOD at what she does, and the fact that she still chooses to keep GOING is a testament to her craft and how dedicated she is to it. she is one of my favorite characters EVER because it is admirable how she finds the will to keep going, even through rough patches, anger, frustration, and crying and even wanting to quit multiple times (to my knowledge) she keeps GOING.

i think thats her talent; her perseverance.

authors note: if this does well maybe ill post an akito summary or maybe my own art

more notes: holy crap i word counted it ITS ROUGHLY 700 WORDS SORRY YALL

[likeadog]

sorry for any inconvenience, please feel free not to respond (i know a lot of people are giving you shit rn, and you're dealing with a lot of unexpected attention, so its totally understandable if you choose to just stop responding to asks in general tbh), but i was a little confused as to what the one person with the super long response did wrong? like the one who said it was more about boundaries than fandom stuff. this isnt me like trying to argue or anything im just genuinely confused. like i saw the response you reblogged but i had a hard time kinda understanding it (terminology sometimes is difficult for me), so im mostly just kinda asking about clarification? like specifically why what they said was wrong. again, sorry for any inconvenience, and remember to take care of your mental health cause i imagine all this would be kinda draining!

no worries, i promise im like, way more chill than that post was. this isnt a bother at all and im always happy to clarify

that person wasnt wrong in theory like objectively the point was fine but what annoyed me was

do not police my tone in such a condescending manner if you try to have a "you know what? fuck this. fuck you." ya moment in my house im going to explode. its a massive pet peeve of mine. complete disregard of why i may have been mad in the first place or the context of the post

it still entirely centers the fandom and the fandoms desires, which wasnt the point. if you see a post like "hey it was fucked up of these people to do this" and go "WELL UMM NOT EVERYONE ACTUALLY" its just . cringe. ok.

i literally already said that i think wh is a really good work and i think a lot of fan work is fine. my post is pretty clear in the fact its talking about the stuff that breaks boundaries. preaching to the choir i do not enjoy being treated like im stupid

thats all. really more of just a decorum thing than an objectively incorrect statement.

[thatonebipotato]

antizionist jew here. sorry to disappoint you, but antisemitism as a word was created to mean hatred against jews. it has shitty etymology because a german guy who was into eugenics created it. he meant to revamp the old word judenhass which signified a more "medieval" and religion based hatred, into a word which defined jews as an inferior race in the modern day.

trying to argue about etymology gets us nowhere when palestinian americans are being stabbed to death and jewish-parisian schoolchildren are facing bomb threats. yes, most antizionism is not antisemitism. but every so often it can be, whether that be a white supremacist co-opting the movement or a leftist who has genuinely unexamined antisemitic biases. and we need to understand what antisemtism looks like so we can shut down hatred that israel will use to continue presenting itself as the only safe place for us jews (hint: it's not).

please take this as an opportunity to learn. not calling you out but calling you in. thanks.

https://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/anti-semitism-or-antisemitism

alright, thank you for informing me! when trying to make sure that what i was saying was right, i found nothing that really said anything about this(i guess i just didnt look in the right places or hard enough).

what i had originally said was information that I'd gotten from many different kinds of groups, mostly others trying to shut that original argument down, so i thought wholeheartedly what i said was correct. im so sorry if i upset anyone with what i had said, i really am. i feel like i have a good enough grasp on the situation that is and has been happening, enough so that i could reiterate what I'd been taught/told on my own, but i was wrong.

i was trying to help deconstruct the argument I'd heard so many times, and i got it wrong. i have taken down the post, but some ppl did also reblog it already, so its going to stay there. cant do anything abt it, i fucked up, thats my own fault. if youre coming back from those posts to see what's up over here, uhhh here's what im saying :)

again, thank you very much for informing me! im a little new to actually being involved in things, so im very desperately trying to get everything right and try to help where i can, and im so sorry that i did it in the wrong way!

ill be sure to try staying a bit more on top of things, and thanks so much to you and also the few others who decided to help me understand, it means a lot!

[himbos-hotline]

hey! while it’s disheartening and sucks to get hate comments, you should try to remember that the fics you write should be purely for your enjoyment. it’s stuff you like and want to share with the world, and some people find it and end up liking it a lot! you’d be surprised how many people probably read your fics and love it but don’t say anything bc they’re shy. unfortunately, there are a lot of hateful people on the internet and they will do anything to try and bring you down. you should try your best to ignore it (i know you probably don’t wanna hear this but it’s true). another way to get rid of hate is turn off anon on tumblr, if anyone sends you hate after then you can block them. you can also restrict comments on ao3. if you ever get a hate comment on ao3, you can also block or remove (i think) the comment. trust me, there are a lot of people who LOVE your work. just continue doing what you love. if you have haters, they’re most likely just jealous or miserable people. sorry for the long note, hope your day is good!

anon this is gonna sound really mean and I am PROMISING that it isnt, but I kinda just, need to reply to little bits of this message like were having a convo and im not arguing, im just..tired of being told the same thing [again not mad, clarifying stuff]

you should try to remember that the fics you write should be purely for your enjoyment

yes I know that, so is people baking or drawing. but if someone gets told "this cake kinda sucks." or "your drawing is wrong." they seem to be allowed to get upset but with writing its just "well youre writing for yourself!" Yeah, I know that and I am. But if I was writing for myself, I wouldnt be sharing it. People wouldnt be requesting it. if it was just for me. I wouldnt have an ao3 account. im writing for ME but im posting and sharing for other people, the people who ask for said fics, people who are my friends, people who like the ships, the fandom cuz fandoms simply do not exist without fanworks, not creations. were not getting paid for this. AT ALL! Like you cant do fic commissions cuz youre just sitting fanfic and fandom culture back YEARS AND YEAR.

I am writing for me, why do writers always get that? why is it never "but youre editing for yourself" or "youre making gifs for yourself" or "well you are drawing for you."

and end up liking it a lot! you’d be surprised how many people probably read your fics and love it but don’t say anything bc they’re shy.

Please get over that shyness. Thats what anons are for, thats for like guest comments are for on ao3. thats what reblogs and nice tags are for. thats for recommending fics on PUBLIC spaces, not discord servers youve made privately. Please tell fanfic authors that you like their fics, please leave comments and draw fanart or whatever you want to do just share it with us! because otherwise writers are going to feel unloved and lost and NOT write anymore and then fandom spaces will, im sorry die cuz the whole point of fandom is we inspire each other, we lift each other up!

im sorry for ranting back at you anon, this ask was really sweet but there was just points that I had to put out, things I had to say because it gets kinda draining being treated differently as a writer than say an artist. Its just like if I drew, like really instead of once or twice a year. People wouldnt be going "youre drawing for yourself." also just the weird diconnect between like, people who write and other people who are making things in fandoms is upsetting because it takes so much work, so much dedication.

like sometimes it feels like people forget that me personally, am disabled and chronically ill. Im currently fighting off pheumonia, ive just gotten out of a very abusive and manipulative relationship where him not liking my writing was a big way he would control what I would do. writing is harder than what it should be right now. But I do love writing, I adore getting requests and every nice comment I get I reguarly go back to read and it means so so so much

[uiruu]

People talk a lot about how HxH is a deconstruction of shonen anime, and like, for a long time, that’s the word I’ve been using too. I watched a youtube video that made me reconsider, and it got me thinking about this. (tho you dont need to watch it before reading this, i disagreed or had slightly differing opinions about slight things anyway)

On the whole, Hunter x Hunter does have the standard themes and tropes of shonen. The optimism, the growth, love, friendship, hardship, adversity, often loss and tragedy and overcoming it, that stuff... but what sets it apart is how it explores and examines the way those themes are handled in shonen. When HxH deals with the standard tropes of shonen, it often deconstructs.... but the series is not overall a “deconstruction”.

It digs into and subverts and often breaks things down... it deconstructs a trope and peers into its guts, only to build it back up a little. Is it a “reconstruction”? I don’t know lmao, that’s nothing haha. Even though a lot of the time, you’ll be watching it and things will happen that make you go “wow, I kind of can’t believe this is happening in a shonen battle anime...”, so yeah, it does feel different than you’d expect it to feel, but at the same time... it’s pretty distinctively still a shonen feeling. I think Puella Magi Madoka Magica is a proper deconstruction cause none of the shit in that series would fly in a regular magical girl anime, I think (uhhhh maybe. im not well versed, maybe it would, idk), and so when things spin off in that darker direction and are direct counters to tropes found in the magical girl genre, thats a deconstruction. It saw the original tropes, picked out what made them work, did the opposite, and made that work. But that’s not really what HxH does. If that was the case, Gon might face a villain and outright lose, and never recover. Or, circumstances will develop that portray the protagonist as very clearly the villain of this story. In that way, I guess you could say Death Note is kind of deconstructionist. It’s essentially a shonen battle manga/anime with psychological battles instead of physical ones, and the main character is undeniably the villain, and he only gets worse with time. HxH doesn’t usually completely deconstruct or subvert a trope, so much as it more fully explores those tropes, and has to play with deconstructing them a little bit to do so.

Here’s an example of what I mean. Take for instance, “Knov has to go in and plant teleport portal things in the king’s palace. He manages to do it, but is discouraged when he sees Pouf’s aura”. That could happen in Naruto. What HxH does differently is peer into the workings of that scenario, and thinks about what would actually happen there. It shows Knov’s panic attack, his mental state. This is maybe more of a deconstruction, because even though Knov succeeds, he is overwhelmed, and his confidence is shattered. He withdraws from the rest of the mission, at least for the time being. He is noticeably scarred by this event forever afterwards. Other shonen wouldn’t delve that deep into the implications of the actions characters take.

But then take for instance Gon’s Anime Power Up versus Pitou…. “young kid ages up because of magic to a point at which he can beat the opponent, but risks losing his nen and possibly his life”. That could happen in Dragon Ball Z (in fact dbz wrote the book on this trope). But it differs in the tone set, the way it was handled, the sheer emotional weight of every word spoken in that episode, the terror Killua has once he finds Gon, etc. This is a bit of deconstruction, in that it has this power up be an unequivocally bad thing that could end Gon’s life and shakes Killua to his core, but in the end, some of the “construction” is build back up, because Killua’s calling out to Gon saves him, and the bond of friendship (AND LOVE) that these two share brings Gon back from the brink. It was, of course, a little too late, and Gon is essentially, for all intents and purposes, dead from this point on, and the only thing that could save him was something that breaks all the rules of the universe up to this point, and is possibly a power originating in the Dark Continent, which is mysterious and ancient and seemingly full of unexplained phenomena. So, Gon is saved, lessons are learned... Things were still awkward for Gon and Killua even after Gon apologized but... in the end they still care a lot about each other. That’s not very deconstructionist... that’s awfully shonen, actually. But the level of detail HxH goes to to break from formula and show in depth what the characters think and feel is really nonstandard.

Conceivably, characters could be feeling these emotions in other shonen when these things happen, but it’s not explored in them. I bet when an anime character has a big “I’m risking my life to attain ultimate power!” moment, it could really traumatize the friends of that character... but that’s rarely something explored in any other canon of a show in this genre. And that’s the thing about HxH. It’s not so much a full, dark, terrifying deconstruction of shonen tropes, it’s an examination of them. If it was a deconstruction through and through, Powered Up Gon might have died there, or hurt Killua so bad that Killua leaves Gon forever, or he could have lost after it wasn’t enough to stop Pitou, or he could have used this power for evil and killed someone truly innocent, etc. HxH would never do any of those things. The moment of Gon’s transformation wasn’t done to emphasize how twisted the main character of a shonen could be, it was done to emphasize how much the people around Gon could love him, and how Gon was forgetting that. Gon withdrew, succumbed to grief, pushed the people he loves away. But no matter what, even after committing to this being the end of his life, Killua was there for him. Not pushed away. He saved Gon and in that moment reminded him that there are still things to live for and love to be experienced.

Hunter x Hunter arguably emphasizes the themes of love and friendship and optimism way better than standard shonen, rather than subverting those themes.

Long story short, I think Hunter x Hunter is basically Togashi flexing and saying “okay, I see what you all are going for, lemme show you how I’d do it” and fucking knocking it out of the park.

[ggukiepie]

so good

pairing: jungkook x reader

summary: just some steamy sex with your boyfriend jk

tags: established relationship, smut, literally pwp, the plot is maybe two sentences long lmao, a little bit of fluff

warnings: dom!jk, sub!reader, kissing, a little bit of cock warming, bondage (handcuffs !), pet names <33, spanking, oral (f. receiving), fingering, multiple orgasms, squirting, anal play, anal fingering, reader kinda goes into subspace at the end, unprotected sex (!! plz be safe), creampie, i think that's it

wc: 3.3k

a/n: first one shot im releasing that is smutttt yay <33 requests are open and like, reblog, tell me ur thoughts on this one shot !! / masterlist

--

“Stop,” Jungkook says. This is the second time he’s said it and you know deep down if you keep going, he’s going to snap pretty soon. Your body stills as you’re perched on his lap, arms around his neck and legs trapping his, face buried in the crook of his neck. His cock is inside you and he’s so undeniably hard that you’re trying your best not to move.

You can still feel his arms move, fingers moving quickly on his keyboard as he’s still playing Overwatch. He’s been playing for hours and you were bored. And horny. Horny because he was such a tease this morning—you were making breakfast and he had come up behind you, grinded his hips against yours as he oh so innocently asked if you could make him breakfast as well. And it wasn’t just that. He teased you while you both ate breakfast. He teased you when you showered, surprisingly joining you in the shower but not touching you at all. Then he ignored you and started playing, so you whined and whined until he said you could come sit on his lap and wait while he finished.

You roll your hips just to get back at him. He hisses through his teeth. You smile to yourself.

“Baby,” he warns and you roll your hips again, even daring yourself to start kissing up the column of his neck. “Stop moving or I’ll spank you.”

You roll your eyes and scoff. “As if,” you say as you grind down against his hips. “You’re too busy playing.”

He drops one hand to squeeze your waist in warning. You’re going to get what you want, finally, even though you’d probably be punished first. But you don't mind. You loved it even, craved for it. And you knew Jungkook loved this little game you both were playing as well.

Suddenly it’s quiet and you realize he closed the game. “Bed. Now,” is all he says. He sounds so serious so you have no choice but to stand up and walk quickly to the bed. You know this by now. Everything comes second nature to you that your body moves on its own. You take your shirt off so you’re finally naked and then you kneel on the bed and look down.

You don’t dare look up as you hear him moving around the room. Excitement is coursing through your veins and you can’t help but fidget in your position. Sure, you had to push a few of his buttons to get him to snap and give you what you want. You were probably going to get punished for it but it was fine. It was—

“Hands.”

Your head snaps up and your eyes zero in on the handcuffs he’s holding in front of you. Your eyes widen. Okay, so maybe you pushed him a little too far. He looks so serious, eyes brooding and staring straight at you. You’re frozen in place as he stares down on you.

“Don’t make me ask again, sweetheart.”

His voice snaps you from your trance and you bring both hands up. He cuffs your wrists silently and you feel goosebumps across your skin. You’re not sure if it’s from the cold metal or the scary look on his face. His eyes roam your body, from your lips to your perked nipples and down to your core. Your cheeks redden from his burning gaze.

“Ass up and head down, baby. You know the drill.”

Your mouth opens in surprise. “But—”

He raises his eyebrow. “Do you want me to get the whip?” You shake your head quickly and get into position but it’s hard because your hands are handcuffed. Jungkook knows this as well and he enjoys seeing you struggle as you try to get on all fours. You end up leaning on your elbows with your face pressed against the mattress. You spread your knees and arch your back, not in the slightest bit embarrassed that he’s now seeing how wet you are.

He places his hand on your back and you jump at his soothing touch. He rubs your skin soothingly but you know he’s just doing that to get you to relax. “Count to fifteen for me, okay?” he says lowly. “And if you make a mistake, we’ll start all over again.”

Before you can even reply you feel his palm smacking your ass, his big hand hitting your right cheek and your body jolting in surprise. You feel the pain shoot down all the way to your toes. “O-one,” you choke out. Despite this you arch your back even further.

Jungkook chuckles and rubs your skin slowly. “My naughty baby,” he says softly. “Didn’t listen to me at all,” he continues and slaps your ass again, this time the left cheek.

“Two,” you whisper hoarsely. “I’m sorry, I’m—”

Another hit. You count again. And again and again. There’s a fine line between pleasure and pain, really. You want to evade his slaps but you also want more. Jungkook’s slapping your ass and you’re counting and you want him to stop but at the same time you don’t because it just feels so good. It’s making your head fuzzy, the pain that’s spreading through your body but also making you incredibly wet. Your pussy is dripping, can tell from the way you feel it coating your inner thighs.

Another slap. This time it’s on the skin where your ass and thigh meet. “Six,” you croak out.

Jungkook laughs from behind you and pinches your butt. “Wrong number. Again.”

You try to shuffle from your position. Your elbows are starting to hurt from leaning on it for too long. Your ass is on fire and you’re sure you won’t be able to sit down properly tomorrow. “No—” you try to argue, try to wiggle from away but Jungkook’s holding your waist firmly. He’s rubbing smoothing circles on your skin but it’s not doing anything for you.

“We can always stop. You just have to say the word.” He touches your core this time, his fingers teasing your clit. You moan and press back further into him. “Seems like you even like it. My little pain slut.” He pinches your clit and you gasp.

“Again please. Slap me again. I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you rush out. Your brain is fuzzy and you feel everything and nothing at once. You want to feel the pain. You want to prove that you can handle it. Want to make Jungkook happy. To please him.

He says nothing more and slaps your ass. You start counting from one again and he keeps going and you don’t tell him to stop. You’re crying by the tenth slap, shoulders pressed against the bed and your arms stretched out in front of you. Jungkook alternates from rubbing your skin affectionately to slapping you harshly.

“Last one, sweetheart. You’re doing so well for me.” He’s rubbing your ass and you feel his thumb press down on your rim and you absolutely keen, the filthiest moan coming out of your mouth and your spine stretching even further. “God,” he laughs. “Such a fucking slut, hm?” he chastises and presses down even harder. Your eyes roll back and you’re seeing stars. The pleasure feels so good. His hand feels so good. “A fucking slut who’d take anything I’d give, right?”

You nod because you can’t say anything else, mind too ridden in pleasure.

Jungkook slaps you for the last time. One harsh smack that leaves a handprint on your left cheek and you hear it echo in the room.

“Fifteen,” you shriek. “Thank you, I’m sorry—” You’re babbling now. You feel Jungkook lean over you, his body covering yours as he kisses up your spine, your neck to your ear.

“My good girl,” he says so softly as if he didn’t slap you more than twenty times. He nibbles your earlobe and you shiver. “Took your punishment so well, sweetheart,” he whispers in your ear.

“I want you,” you beg. “Please, I want you now.” You feel his body leave you and suddenly you’re craving for his warmth again. But then you feel his mouth on your pussy, his tongue licking into you and you groan. “More.” You press further into your face as he eats you out. “Want more. Please.”

“Greedy girl,” he says as he sucks on your clit. Your orgasm is coming embarrassingly close. It just feels so good. His tongue is swirling on your clit, collecting your juices that he laps up like he’s starved. He pleasures you so well that your thighs are shaking. You’re almost there, almost feel the knot in your stomach snap.

But then Jungkook leans back just as you’re about to orgasm. He’s mean. Jungkook is so undeniably mean sometimes that you want to smack him for it. Want to reach down with your own hands and make yourself come but you can’t because you’re fucking handcuffed.

You whine out loud and more tears stream down your cheeks. “Jungkook,” you say, so wound up and frustrated and tired. All the while he’s laughing at your demise. Laughing at the way you struggle and squirm. Suddenly, he flips you and your back is on the mattress, eyes blown out and looking straight at him.

He hovers over your body and brushes your cheekbone with his thumb. “So pretty,” he murmurs. “Look so pretty when you cry, baby.” You pout at him and he grins.

He kisses you and you arch your back to get closer to him. His lips feel so good against yours, mouth opening slightly to let his tongue slither into yours and lick into your mouth. The kiss is messy and wet and it’s just the way Jungkook likes when he’s riled up like this. Likes it messy when he’s being mean and you let him anyway because you love it as well. He leans back and squeezes your cheeks with one hand, forcing you to open your mouth. You know what’s coming, can tell from the gleam in his eyes and the way he stares at your mouth. You put your tongue out and open your mouth even wider. He doesn’t even have to ask.

“God, you're filthy,” he says but spits in your mouth anyway. It hits your tongue and your hips roll up involuntarily. You swallow and open your mouth to show him, loving the way he looks at you like this. “Good girl.” He loops your cuffed hands around his neck so you’re trapped underneath him. His fingers trail down your body, pinching your nipples and then down to your clit where he circles it with two fingers.

“Jungkook,” you moan out. He’s rubbing your clit so quickly now and he’s also nipping at your neck, biting until the skin blossoms into pretty shades of pink. You’re coming before you know it, legs shaking and hips moving up and down. Still, his fingers don’t stop its assault on your cunt.

“Another one, sweetheart,” he whispers into your ear. “Let go for me.”

You close your eyes and focus on the way he’s playing with your clit. You’re not even embarrassed that he’s making you come again just from touching your clit alone. You feel your orgasm building up, the coil in your stomach becoming tight and then snapping. And then you feel the bliss, feel it all over your body that you don’t even moan or make a sound. You’re crying again from how good it feels.

Finally, finally Jungkook slows down his fingers. He kisses your forehead and looks down at you with his doe eyes. You can’t even focus on him, too busy trying to even your breathing. “So beautiful for me.” He thrusts two fingers into your core and you babble out his name over and over again. You feel full just from his fingers and you think you might come again.

“Need to stretch you out,” he huffs. He’s still wearing his boxers but you can see how hard he is already.

You shake your head. “Want you now.” He ignores you and continues fucking you with his fingers. “Jungkook,” you plead. “Need your cock. Please, please— I’ve been good,” you all but beg.

Suddenly he withdraws his hands and leans a bit back to take his boxers out, his cock springing out to slap against his stomach because he’s so big and hard and—it’s throbbing. He wants you just as much as you want him right now. He presses his body to yours as he holds his cock, rubbing its tip against your pussy to gather the juices. And then in one swift motion he enters you, filling you to the hilt where his pelvis is pressed against yours.

“Feels so tight,” he groans out. “Feel so good for me baby. God,” he chokes.

You’re at a loss for words, too focused on the feeling of being so full. He starts thrusting and he hits your g-spot right away.

“Faster,” you moan. You encircle your legs around his waist and bring him closer. He’s careful not to crush you so he places his forearms on either side of your head. Your legs instantly wrap around his waist and you push him even deeper, feeling him deep in your stomach. You can feel his cock brushing against your cervix and you arch your back even more, already unaware of the loud moans escaping your mouth. “Jungkook, I’m—”

He hikes your legs over his shoulders and because your cuffed hands are around his neck both of your bodies are pressed against each other, not a bit of space to separate you both. It feels like you’ve been folded in half and your legs are starting to ache but it feels so good. “God, look at you,” Jungkook breathes out as he keeps the punishing pace of his hips against yours, hands holding your thighs so tightly you’re sure it’s going to bruise. “Wanna wreck you, wanna—”

“I’m close,” you cry out and this time you’re not even embarrassed that you’re about to come again.

Jungkook starts kissing your jaw, nose pressed to your cheek as you feel his teeth nibbling your skin. “Come for me, baby. Want you to make a mess.”

And you do. You come from his filthy words, from the way his cock feels inside your pussy, from the way he’s holding you tightly. Your vision blurs for a moment and you cry from how good it feels, how your legs start to feel like static and everything’s wet and messy but you want more. Jungkook fucks you through your orgasm until you whine and tell him to slow down. Then he maneuvers your bodies until you’re on top of him and your hands are free of the handcuffs. You didn’t even realize he’s taken it off, your head too high up in the clouds and stuck in that feeling of pleasure and euphoria. You still feel his cock inside you, so big and heavy and it’s twitching. But Jungkook isn’t moving and is rubbing your wrists instead to try to ease the pain of being handcuffed for too long.

“You good?” he asks quietly and you look into his eyes, see the concern in it but there’s a bit pleasure in there too. You nod and kiss his nose, a small but sweet gesture that doesn’t go unnoticed by him because he’s smiling as well.

“Wanna keep going,” you say, voice hoarse and quiet from all the screaming you’ve done earlier. You start kissing down his neck, biting down on that sweet spot of his and it’s his turn to moan out loud. “Want you to fill me up, please.”

“Ride me baby. Be good and bounce on my cock for me, yeah?”

You nod quickly and start moving your hips up and down, resting your hands on his chest to go even faster. Your legs start to shake but you don’t care. You keep going despite the ache, the fatigue, despite the fact that your pussy feels so used but it still feels so good. But Jungkook’s helping you as well, hands on your waist to help you move up and down, words of encouragement and praise escaping his lips.

You feel yourself tighten around him, feel that coil tightening and wanting to snap. Your body feels so light but so heavy at the same time just begging for a release. You feel the wetness between your legs, to where you’re connected, to where it’s dripping down your thighs. You hear the sounds of skin slapping against skin. You feel rather than see Jungkook’s hands gripping your ass, squeezing the flesh between his long fingers. You feel his hand moving to your other hole, to the puckered rim that he played with a few moments ago. You push against him and moan again, wanting to tell him you want more but failing to get the words out your mouth because you’re too lost in the pleasure.

But Jungkook knows your body so well. “Greedy girl,” he says. “Always wanting more, huh?” he asks as you continue to bounce on his cock. You nod, the words barely processing in your pleasure muddled mind. His middle finger presses against your rim, not pushing it in but just applying pressure. Still, the coil inside you snaps and you feel your pussy gushing, your wetness coating your thighs and his chest and it doesn’t take long for Jungkook to start fucking into you, his pleasure taking control to reach that high he’s been holding off for so long.

“Come inside me, please,” you whimper as you let him use you, brushing away the sensitivity that’s building in your body.

“You feel so fucking tight, so fucking good, God,” he huffs out as he finally comes inside you, hips stilling against yours and cock twitching inside you. You feel him fill you up, so undeniably full and tired but so good.

You both stay like that for a while, with you on top of him and his arms around your waist, touching you everywhere while he’s leaving kisses on your neck.

His finger circles your rim again and you shiver but you don’t say anything. You both know you can tell him to stop and he will if you say so, but you stay quiet so he pushes his finger in.

“Jungkook,” you croak. God, you’re so tired but you want more.

His pace is slow inside your ass. “Think you can come for me like this, princess?”

You nod because you’re too tired to speak. He takes his finger out to gather your wetness around your pussy then enters your ass once more, wiggling his finger inside your walls and eliciting a tired and quiet moan out of you. After a while he presses another finger inside and it’s so tight and you feel so full, his dick inside your pussy and two fingers inside your ass. He thrusts his fingers a little bit faster and you feel your orgasm building again. You’ve lost count. Maybe you were at your fourth? You didn’t know.

Suddenly you’re coming, so silent because you’re tired and spent and then Jungkook retracts his fingers out. “So good to me. So perfect. You did so well baby,” he whispers into your hair. He moves to sit up but you shake your head and tighten your arms around his neck.

“Don’t leave me,” you say as tears stream down your face. You don’t know why you’re crying.

“Gotta clean you up, baby—”

“No,” you cry out and hug him even closer to you. “Rest first,” you breathe out. “Please.”

Your arms are tight around him as you try to slow down your breathing. Whimpering every so often when Jungkook’s hands brush over your ass. He rubs soothing circles down your spine, whispering into your hair words you can’t make out and kissing your forehead from time to time.

A beat of silence, and then, “Did I go too far?” he quietly asks.

You shake your head again. “I just…” You shiver from his touch. “Just need to calm down.”

“I love you,” he says, kissing your head, pressing his lips into your hair and rubbing his nose gently against it. He continues rubbing his hands up and down your back. You feel his heartbeat through his chest, slowly and soothing which puts you at ease.

“I love you too, Kook,” you murmur into his chest. “Love you so much.”

[starbuckie]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐦𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐝𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: 𝐨𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝟑

pairing: carter baizen x reader

words: 2.1k words

warnings: SMUT 18+ (car sex, unprotected(they have not learned their lesson), thigh riding, choking, not me writing carter as dominant for the first time,, ever), angst at the end, yn not taking care of herself and carter being clueless

summary: nine months after a new years hookup, little autumn eloise baizen-l/n was born. now, nearly a full year after her birth, nothing has changed except for carter and y/n, co-parents and occasional fuck buddies, planning for their baby’s first birthday. it should be simple, easy, straightforward. anything unlike the feelings they harbor for each other.

a/n: very very late, but enjoy some dom!carter smut because you’ll probably never see it again MWAHAHA! im just kidding i just love sub!carter a bit move lmao, please enjoy and reblog and comment if you do <33

main masterlist || sebastian stan characters masterlist || series masterlist

“I thought we said we wouldn’t do this anymore, Carter.”

“You quote me wrong, I said that we wouldn’t fuck in taxis anymore, this is a limousine.” He argued while fighting with Y/N’s skirt zipper. “I thought Dolce and Gabbana quality was supposed to be good, what the shit is this?”

Y/N sat atop Carter’s lap, her knees spread and digging into the uncomfortable fabric of the seat below them. She didn’t remember how it had happened- after all they were only riding together to grab a quick lunch and to begin talking about preschools for Autumn. And lunch was good, some pasta and a shared bottle of champagne (his signature) at Veselka. They were more than cordial, and it felt warm and friendly; stirring up bubbles of feeling like the rising ones from the pinky drink. Then they simply decided to also share a limo home. Easy, efficient, saves gas.

But then some feral need in both of them must’ve broken loose in the car, and now here she was, grinding down on his clothed thigh like a bitch in heat.

Ever since the bathtub night she had been a little frustrated. And the compiling stress of Ellie’s birthday party and the baby herself and her job and her mom’s friends taking their wrath out on her… it was all too much. Maybe it was wrong to use Carter for relief, but that was technically his role in her life. As a co-parent, it technically wasn’t immoral for them to fuck their pressure from everyday society away.

With a quiet moan she grabbed his larger hands, moving them with hers to rolls the skirt up over the apex of her thighs to reveal black, lacy panties that covered just a small amount of her glistening cunt. The thin fabric was soaked from her core and the sight of it made the man under her moan.

“Were you expecting to get some today, darling?” He smirked, pressing his lips to the exposed skin above her dainty sterling silver necklace.

“A little bit,” she retorted, pressing her fingers around the bulge in his pants. He groaned against her throat and bit down lightly on the juncture of her neck. “You’ve never been good at keeping your hands to yourself.”

Her hands wasted no time in teasing him longingly and thoroughly, getting him further riled up. She was pushing at his limits. The past ten minutes had been fully of pure grinding and broken moans but Carter was straining and the Boss suit he wore was seconds away from bursting open along with him.

“Stop. Teasing.” He warned dangerously. One of his hands moved from her hips to her throat, effectively making her eyes roll back into her head, her arms falling slack from his crotch. A low whine escaped the back of her mouth, spit falling from her lips like she was drunk (which to be fair, they both kind of were).

His other hand worked nimbly on unbuckling the leather belt he wore and greatly regretted. Everything was more difficult in a car. Once he finally managed to pop it open, he rummaged under the band of his briefs just to pull his erect, painfully hard cock from its refines. “Fuck, that feels so good.” He groaned.

He dragged Y/N down from her throat to his hot mouth, and though the act was a bit rough, his lips softly caressed hers, coaxing his tongue past her lips. Both of them were careless in their decisions- nothing else mattered when it just felt so right for Carter’s hands to be squeezing her neck so she saw stars.

She absentmindedly drooled, the friction of her panty-clad cunt aching down on his thigh making her dumb in the head with not a single thought in her brain. Carter was just as drunk on his lust for her, using brute strength to rip her lingeries from her body. The ache of the elastic and lace left indents in the crevice of her thighs, but she could barely feel it with the taste of champagne straight from his mouth so potent on her tongue.

Without a second to lose, he slammed her hips forwards so the head of his cock was rubbing against her weeping entrance. She was so slick, her juices dripping down her thighs and into his pants. He loosened his hand from her throat, just a little bit, as he spoke to her a soft tone. He was always so gentle with his words no matter how rough he got with her. “You ready, mama?”

Y/N cried out as he nudged his mushroom tip against her clit. “Fill me up, Car.”

So he did. Pushing down on her waist, she sunk down balls-deep, his full head reaching her g-spot first time. Y/N nearly screamed.

And he came almost as soon as she sunk down on his length. It had been long, far too long since he’d been with her. It was only her. No other woman could compare, no other woman was Y/N, with her pretty body rolling across his hips with her luxurious whines and responsive touch.

“Mhm-” he found it difficult to not blow his load as she moved on him, and he wasn’t helping himself “You making yourself feel good on my cock, mama?”

“Yeah, C-Carter,” she agreed, “want you to make me feel good.”

Carter nearly laughed at the dumb expression she wore as she overtly tried to rub her clit against his skin as she fucked herself on his cock. “You work too hard, honey, you deserve to take a break. Just rub your pretty little cunt out, don’t even think about it.”

“Carter!” She yelped as he harshly smacked her throbbing clit, her walls clamping around his twitching dick when he did so. The feeling of her constricting around him, it was too much.

“You’re so gorgeous, mama,” Carter sighed. With a few more shallow thrusts, his head was spamming inside her tight channel, spurting his white ropes of cum. He filled her up good and they could both tell by the way their skin squelched against each other as she continued to grind against him. His mind was nearly as blank as hers when he came down from his high, hands grappling at her skin and clenching down on the smooth flesh.

His come was already leaking from her hole, but he knew she still hadn’t reached her orgasm quite yet. “Your little clitty need some help, honey?” A barley comprehendable moan left her lips as she nodded desperately, begging him to do anything to put her right over the charming edge of release. “Of course, mama, whatever you want.”

His fingers soothed over her little bundle of nerves, raw from the spankings he’d given it. Instead his thumb and pointer finger began to rub it in small, stimulating circles, knowing just how fast to do it so she’s come sooner rather than later. After all, her small squeals and relentless groans were out of the fact that she could barely get herself off, and she needed this. She needed him. Only him.

“Oh, fuck, Carter,” she breathily moaned. Her hips gyrated on top of his softening dick. “I’m so close, can you please…”

Her hand brought his to her throat again, and before she had to say anything else he was squeezing again, letting her breath come to shallow puffs of air before vigorously rubbing at her clit again.

“You gonna come soon, mama?” He pressed his lips to hers, taking her bottom lip in his mouth and feeling her reach for air in his lotion. “I know you can do it, honeylove, just gotta get you real nice an’ relaxed…”

It only took one more sharp thrust into her slick heat before she was coming, her pussy squeezing his cock as come continued to flow out of her. A high whine escaped her parted lips as Carter let go of her throat and her tired hips slowly came to a halt, only stopping once she’d stopped moaning.

Silence filled the car after that. While Carter had been clear and sound in mind for a while, he was still caught in the beauty of Y/N coming for him. Her pinched eyebrows and girlish cries were something he’d never be able to get enough of even after all the times they’d fucked. The spent woman in his lap was barely awake, her heavy eyelids a remainder of the power he held over her.

And neither of them had even noticed the car rolling to a stop. What a gift for New York City traffic. The partition of the limo rolled down, a quiet frown on the face of the poor chauffeur driving the limo that day. “We’re back at the penthouse. I’ll leave so you can get… cleaned up.”

Carter supported her falling legs, trying hard not to break into laughter at the awkward silence filling the large car. He averted his eyes toward the roof and slunk down further in his seat while loosening his tie. “Ah, thanks, Quentin, I’ll leave my tip in your paycheck later.”

As soon as the word of Carter left his mouth, the chauffeur scrambled out of the car, desperate to unhear everything he’d just heard.

The bright blue-eyed man broke out into a fit of chuckles, hiding his large grin in the skin of Y/N’s sternum. “That was good, wasn’t it? I dunno why we don’t do it more often.”

He removed his head from her bare chest so he could look up at her, but she seemed far away. Her eyes were pretty still, even as they glittered with a shine he hadn’t seen before. With a gentle reassurance Carter dotted his rough fingers up to her face, grabbing her chin between a few of them. “Hey, what’s wrong? Was it something I did?”

Y/N looked down at him, with his pleading blue orbs and small frown. To the public he was cold as ice, a man who never seemed to change but she saw him. He was always soft when it came to her. Tears pushed at the corners of her eyes and she had to leave.

With a huff and a small groan, she struggled to get her skirt back down her thighs, dripping with Carter’s cum. The reality of it all set in. They had been too hazardous. This was bad.

“I have to go,” she murmured. By then tears were escaping her eyes hard and fast, dropping down her cheeks as quickly as her heart beat. She barely even bothered to cover her leaking cunt up, he did rip her panties after all, and pulled down her skirt before pushing the door open and nearly falling out. Her face was less than a foot away from the sidewalk concrete, but Carter, concerned as ever, grabbed her waist before she could slam into the hard surface.

“You’ve gotta be careful, Y/N, where the hell are you going so fast anyways?”

“I just,” she sniffed, swatting his hands as she clambered out, “I gotta go… do something.”

As soon as every part of her body had left the inside of the limo, she took off like a rocket, running through the front doors of her building in her half-dazed glory.

“Y/N!” Carter yelled. Never mind the fact that his pants were unzipped and his cock was barely stuffed back in his briefs, his best friend was clearly hurt, hurt somehow by him, and he had dug hard enough to force such a reaction out of her. He’d seen the tears but he was so lost on where he went wrong.

Passerby walkers stared at him oddly, the man who had obviously just fucked someone, deranged and defiled on the edge of the sidewalk with a YSL mini dangling in his hand. Carter waved them off when he received their strange looks, trying to act like everything was fine and hiding the confused maze his brain was. He felt scrambled. He felt like the autumn leaves pounded into the ground by each of the shoes that stepped over them.

“You forgot your purse,” he lamely added. There was no use though. Y/N by then was probably back up in the penthouse, worrying over Autumn or calling the preschools in Manhattan to schedule interview appointments. She’d do what she always did, repress her own emotions and issues until everyone else was satisfied, and when it came to a year old baby, it was never. She’d shut herself off and when she did that she went father off the grid than he did.

But he knew that he had to track her down. That’s how they worked so well together after all- he always knew how to catch her.

[incorrect-riordanverse]

final part (tg)

did nico just get mad at will for tricking amphithemis ru joking? nico is not this soft can we bring back him being cool please

like will just outsold with that. it was a very peeta mellark if-it-werent-for-the-baby move. and nico got angry??? he really is better than me…

now theyre arguing and crying again. hehehe. more hurt/comfort for me yayyyy

wish this was written in first person. the characters just don’t feel like they have their own voice within the prose. i feel like first person pov mayyy have helped it better

small bob is literally CARRYING them dude. these two would be so dead if not for this cat

“i remember annabeth and percy saying cheesy stuff helps” “lay it on me, i’m your grilled cheese.” <- that’s terrible omg. and not in a funny haha way 😭

sorry i can’t imagine anyone hitting a high note mid fight. apollo child cringe

“i am the ghost king!” <- doing too much

LMAOOOO NOT NICO BEING NYX’S BABY DADDY AYO LAWSUIT

WHAT KIND OF PLOT TWIST IS THISSS 😭

‘you are the father’ type of moment 💀🙏

“no i can’t abandon them” <- nico seriously annoying the shit out of me. soon as disney+ bought pjo every character actually started acting like a disney character. and here yall go telling me ‘this book is for middle schoolers’ a middle schooler can understand running away from literal demons trying to attack you and this is the… like… fourth time nico’s been so soft on the things he has to fight in tartarus. like i get the meaning of redemption and healing but cmonnnn. this shit’s for pussies 😭

cocoa puffs is such a cute name to call ur demon kids stop

if these mfs dont start skedaddling

nico kissing bob had me flinch ngl 😭 were those two always so close?

will had to open his fatass mouth asking some shit like “did we do it?”

these bitches are crying every two pages and im sick of it. like i know its an emotional time but jesus 😭 every single chapter???

i take back what i said in the first reblog. bob is cool asf

the cacodemons warming up to will makes me so… aww. theyre so cute tbh.

are we ever going to actually know what the sun and the star is. like what. such a stupid metaphor if its supposed to represent will and nico LOL

THAT DREAM SEQUENCE?? with bianca and maria and hades?? jailllll (im in tears)

“i need to let you go” <- GOD IM IN TEARS

i feel like this book is so tell-y about the meaning of healing but it is for middle-schoolers so im gonna lay off it and go kick rocks

something about nico being a hugger now makes so much sense actually. bro would hug anyone real and true

why is mr d. so nice? make him mean again cmon

nico & piper bromance was something i never knew i needed until now (still random as hell though— where was reyna or hazel? why is nico opening up to characters he hadn’t known well until this book instead of the ones he alr knows?)

nico and will now married with kids lets go

such a full circle ending i love it (wish the insecurities will had at the start of the book were more developed towards the end)

conclusions: the plot was good, all the concepts were good, but repetitive minor things from the writing really irritated me ranging from the stale dialogue to the cringe humour (pop culture references should be illegal to include in books), especially humour added at the wrong times of the book. like they could have so easily been fixed and the story could be much stronger as were the emotionally compelling scenes (because nico is suchhhh a good character), but its always offset by a badly timed joke that i could never really get into it. making the characters cry is not going to make me cry. find a build up and a release and dont break it up with humour, i swear the middle schoolers reading the book will survive some darker parts. like damn. it also didnt have the magic the other pjo books had imho, maybe because it was cowritten.

either way tsats is mid, and it’s disappointing because it didnt NEED to be mid. im going to gaslight myself into forgetting the bad parts though

finally reading tsats here are my live thoughts (spoilers, obviously):

i’m so excited because some pages are darkly decorated and its so cool. still don’t vibe with the title though (the sun IS a star and its peeving me)

why are we talking about dating darth vader 😟 where are we rn (anakin is a yes, but DARTH VADER???)

maybe i’m too old but the jokes are not funny 😭

“this whole place feels like my soul. empty and dark. dark as the pit of the underworld.” <- i don’t care if he’s joking nico would never say thissss 🙏😭 we’re only 10 pages in but please stop butchering my fav character he’s not himselffff i am cringing so bad

i know i’m being dramatic but if they do nico dirty in this book i’m going to end it all

oh my god i don’t think i’ve thought about the words “significant annoyance” in so long. bringing back good memories for sure.

i can tell which parts were written by riordan and which parts were written by oshiro. i don’t think their voices are blending very well together…

also, maybe it’s because it’s the start of the book and they’re trying to familiarise new readers quickly with the characters but it feels like they’re making nico the caricature of ‘emo and shadow and ebony darkness dementia raven way 🥀⛓️🖤’ and will the caricature of ‘happy and sunshine and blonde and flower gleam and glow ☀️🌈🫧’ and i usually like this dynamic when it’s not blatantly pointed out every other page. i have faith they’ll show more complexity than this later on though. future yan will let me know by the end.

oh ok so it is bob the titan

since when was nico’s actual name niccolo??? how did i forget this detail??

“you have to listen if not you’ll share my fate.” “ominous much?” <- ok he’s finally himself again guys it’s all good

the one-sided beef nico has with percy will never not be funny

“cookie monster appeared over the mouth of the jar, reached inside and gobbled up nico like the chocolate-chip cookie he was.” <- nevermind i’ve gone back to hating this book again

“what was one straight boy when you spent your whole life longing for the impossible?” <- i’m reminded of that time a few years back where everyone made ‘having an unrequited crush on percy’ nico’s whole fanon personality, so i’m glad they addressed this somewhat. this boy has been through so much and people really thought crushing on percy was the biggest thing to focus on about ‘nico angst.’

“we made a mistake. you have to fix it.” <- call me a red flag but if i was nico i would do anything and everything to not go. i would medicate myself so highly on sleeping pills that i can’t dream (doctor bf can go kick rocks). i would track percy and annabeth down and haul their asses into tartarus instead to do it. and if i had to go i would only go in to kill bob myself for sending me those traumatic ass nightmares. no thx. bro willingly jumped in himself and now wants me to save him. nuh uh.

not cupid being will 😭 its like his aphrodite 😭 i am not well.

they always have a really good and emotionally moving scene and they ruin it with a dumb joke. let it be heavy 👏👏

something’s really fishy and i have a feeling that it might not be bob calling for him

if this whole “grumpy ball of darkness” thing continues i will actually lose it

you can’t tell me the percabeth pep talk was actually needed. i will forgive it because i miss them though

im sensing tension in the gap between nico’s connection to the underworld and his relationship with will and i’m here for ittttt. give me the dramaaa

who is the gorgyra girl and why is she in their business sm?

oh shit a will solace pov??? christmas came early 🙏

nevermind that whole nightmare sequence was so fucked up 😭😭

somebody HELP HIM i never thought we would get will angst (nico angst fs, but will???)

DONT JUMP IN THE STYX PLEASE

SOMEBODY TELL HIM HE’S HELPFUL OMG

nico strangling epiales in his sleep is so fucking cool he’s literally HIM he’s literally THAT GUY

[thatadhdmood]

Hey! First of all, how are you? Hope you're doing good :).

I wonder if you could help me with this. I've heard that when you have few neurodivergences, your brain is mainly "shaped" around one and then affected by the others. For example, two people can have both ADHD and ASD but one brain be "shaped" in ADHD and affected by autism and other the other way round. Did you know about that? Is that really a thing?

I've got my ADHD diagnosis this year, but I feel something is lacking. Maybe it's just severe anxiety, but I actually relate a lot to Autism symptoms. But also I feel like "I don't relate enough" and ASD being and spectrum is really confusing. If I read the ASD symptoms, I relate to most but if I read autistic people experiences, I find myself thinking "I relate to this, but lighter? It doesn't feel as intense". Some symptoms are supposedly not related to ADHD, like I've taught myself social rules and I mask the hell out of me when interacting to people, everything is learned and interpreted, and supposedly that's not an ADHD symptom but an ASD one. But is that true? I don't know anymore. And I feel like ADHD wouldn't let me relate to all ASD symptoms, like the need of routine. I am literally unable to stick to a routine, and the lack of structure affects me really badly and I know this is fully ADHD. But also, not knowing what's exactly gonna happen next makes me extremely anxious, and if something doesn't go as predicted I have very severe anxiety attacks. But well, that could simply be anxiety.

Sorry I actually didn't mean to rant about myself. I was just wondering, since you have both ADHD and ASD do you think it feels very different than having only ASD? And how can I figure out if it's really ASD or not, because I feel like I don't fit the spectrum but also I feel there's something different between my irl friends with ADHD and me.

Sorry if this is too long and thank you for taking your time for reading it, I appreciate you and I hope you have a good week <3.

Thanks for the ask i read it all over.

Im doing okay got back from my partners place. They gave me their old speaker and it sounds good :) ill try my best to help

Gotta do my general im not a therapist and cant give u actual advice but i will anyway. I am doing no research for answering this, using my own life experiences and memory of past research.

I have adhd and autism yep

I havent heard about the theory of being shaped and affected. To me its all just chemical reactions with behaviours being labelled by psychologists if you think about it. If metaphors help it make more sense then go for it but i am not aware personally of this being a scientifically documented phenomenon

Also anxiety develops as a comorbid to adhd a lot as a coping method for the symptoms of adhd. So anxiety isnt an unlikely to have developed. Theres high comorbidity of it with adhd.

The main thing i think that really defines the big difference of the neurodivergencies is adhd is task accomplishing, focus, and emotional regulation issues while autism is social issues, behavioural and sensory issues

If you feel you have more social issues that are not just caused by the symptoms of your adhd then autism is more likely to be the issue.

Point you brought up about unable to stick to routine but need routine is just what its like when u have adhd and autism

The autistic symptoms present slightly differet when comorbid with adhd. As well as the fact that not every autistic person has the same symptoms. Its like soup we all got different ingredients.

The anxiety you experience could either be an anxiety attack or a meltdown in the autistic way because of plans being wrong.

Having adhd and autism feels very different then just one or the other. The heavy amount of masking you do is very indicative of this being autism.

Hope any of this helps and i apologise if any of this is wrong. No one send asks to argue with me, keep it to the notes and reblogs please. Send me another ask if you want me to respond with more help. Have a good one. Sorry for not bolding every thing its 1am and im on mobile.

[vibraniumphoenix]

until you came along. [ b.b ]

a dad!bucky barnes x fem!reader wherein bucky finally gets to meet his little one.

WARNING: bucky hinting about his past but aside from that nothing else! maybe this fic giving you baby fever idrk, time is set somewhere after the events of tfatws, and lowercase intended!

A/N: hi my baby fever is torture and im dragging you along with me. dad!bucky has been stuck in my head for so long now and i’ve been feeling guilty abt not sharing that with you. please reblog the post, it really means a lot!

---

if someone was to tell bucky from a few years back he would be an expecting father, he would probably chuckle bitterly as he turned down the idea; but here he was now, rushing in the middle of the car-filled streets of new york, to finally meet his new born baby.

he cursed under his breath as the cab he was in turned into another corner that had cars barely moving, fingers drumming against the sides of his thighs as he tried to calm himself down, his right arm pulling out his phone to see multiple messages from your mother, asking where was he as you were already in active labor一 that was several hours ago.

he and sam were on a mission, taking down some mafia gang that wanted to smuggle in illegal goods in trade for stolen a truck filled with stolen vibranium; his mind replaying how he didnt want to leave the hospital and stay by your side, but you pushed him to go, not expecting that the infant would arrive later that day.

as soon as he saw the tall building of the hospital you were at, he paid the driver and got out of the car, sprinting all the way to the entrance where his father-in-law was waiting, “i’m so sorry i couldn’t come sooner一” were the words that left bucky’s mouth until he was cut off, “it’s alright, you should head up, your little one’s waiting upstairs.” your father said, patting him on the back as he motioned with his other hand to go.

weaving his way inside, he quickly found your room and composed himself, standing up straight as he caught his breath, smoothing the invisible wrinkles on his clothes before slowly opening the door, peeking his head through its crack to see your sleeping figure on the bed, your mother sitting right by your side.

“bucky!” your mother quietly greeted, standing up to give him a hug. her smile was wide as she stared at his almost organized look, his hair still in a disarray from the rush he was in moments prior. “both of your angel’s are sleeping as of the moment, you should get some rest too, son. me and f/n will go home and set everything up for the baby” she calmly said, motioning the seat that she was previously in.

a small smile formed on his lips as he nodded, wanting to actually take a seat and be with you. “thank you for looking after her, ma.” he answered, hugging the woman tightly before letting go, waving his had as she left the room.

he quietly walked over and took a seat, observing the small sleeping figure inside the clear bassinet next to your bed, tears forming up in his eyes to see such a peaceful little face. gently raising a single digit over the crib, he gently caressed the baby’s hand which held onto his finger, “hey there, little one. I’m your dad.”

---

you stirred awake, body feeling extra sore still from giving birth, you were about to open your eyes when you heard bucky’s voice, “... and i was probably more scared than your momma could ever be at that moment, my little angel.” you opened your eyes a little to see bucky carrying the infant in his arms, sat down, slightly facing the window.

the warm rays of the early sun peeked through the blinds of the window, illuminating the peacefulness displayed on his face, “when your momma said that she had a suspicion you were in her belly, she was scared that i would leave ‘er, since we weren’t even into a year of dating一 little did she know that i feared what would become of us.”

your heart broke silently as you tuned into his confession to the baby, “i’m way older than your grandma and grandpa, i’m afraid that i could never see you grow up, i’m afraid that your momma would leave me for someone younger, that could be better a dad than old me.” his voice was soft, fragile almost as cradled your son.

“but i set those fears aside when i saw you sleeping in that crib of yours, lookin’ so angelic as you slept. i could have only wished to start a family before since i… i was considered to be someone so dangerous; i’ve always thought i would never find love but momma came along and proved me wrong, and now you’re here with me.” bucky continued, raising the small babe up to place a gentle kiss on his forehead.

“i’ve seen so much on this earth that i thought i’ve seen everything it has to offer. your dad’s cool since he got to fight such a big alien and so many bad guys before but i never really realized how much of life i missed until i saw you open your eyes and look at me. i’ve never deemed my life so… worthy until i you and momma came along.” bucky finished, bringing up his flesh hand to wipe the tear that had managed to escape, sighing softly.

you also brought a hand up, wiping the tears that you didn’t even notice away before quietly calling out your husband’s name, making him look back at you with a big surprise, quick to get on his feet and sat by your bed, his flesh hand holding onto yours as he leaned down to place a kiss on your lips. “how long have you been up, darling?”

you smiled tiredly, “just enough time to hear you ramble on to your son.” your tone light and teasing, making the latter chuckle in embarrassment that you had caught him being so soft, “who knew mr. bucky barnes could be such a softy.”

“for someone who just gave birth, you sure are in a teasing mood, baby.” he groaned, shaking his head at your antics. “i’m sorry i couldn’t be here for you when this little troublemaker arrived, y/n.” bucky apologized, looking at you with a small yet disappointed smile. “i knew i should have never taken up that mission.”

you squeezed his hand, shaking your head firmly. “no, james, don’t ever blame yourself for that.” you started off, “i said that you should go一 besides, you’re here now, with me and our little prince and that’s what matters.” you reassure him, bringing his hand up to your lips to place a gentle kiss on his already healing, bruised up knuckles.

bucky sighed softly, knowing better than to argue with you about that, “i know better than to argue with you about that, y/n.” he retorted softly, heart filled with love as his vision bounced from your featured to the sleeping one in his arms, gently exclaiming, “my god, i love you both so much.”

you laughed softly, warmth spreading throughout your body at the sight of the, now two, men in your life, “and we love you too, bucky. we love you too.”

---

[shortprince-cos]

More Truths Than Dares

Summary: After "The Double Closet Incident" as Patton so calls it, Patton and Janus have a talk at their friends' sleepover.

Ship: Moceit (Patton x Janus)

Warnings: Smoking, claustrophobia mention, truth or dare. Tell me if I need to add anything else!

Note: This is a direct sequel to "In A Closet"! You can read this without reading that, but it'll probably be confusing!

{Previous}

{Masterlist} (I KNOW I NEED TO FIX IT BUT IM A PROCRASTINATOR FIGHT ME)

~~~~~

"Oh, I didn't know he was invited."

All Patton had done was walk in the door. He hadn't even said hi, or hugged Roman yet, he just walked in the door, and Janus was already on his back for just existing in his presence.

It was going to be a long night.

"Yes? He's my best friend, you know!" Roman defended as he brought Patton to sit on the couch with him and Logan.

"Wow, rude." Logan said.

Roman made a series of offended noises. "You're my boyfriend! So obviously Patton is my best friend!"

As the two quickly dissolved into playful banter, Patton stood to go put his overnight bag in Roman's room, hearing Janus whisper something to Remus and Virgil as he walked by.

Just ignore it, he thought, not really in the mood to argue today. Especially not after what Patton had dubbed ‘The Double Closet Incident’.

It was disastrous. Not only did Patton get locked in a closet with Janus, who has claustrophobia, he discovered that he may have a thing for men. Who knew?

Roman. Roman probably knew, especially after he had adopted Patton into their little friend group. And if being gay was a contest, Roman would be the judge.

But...it was normal to feel that way, right? It wasn't weird to feel embarrassed when someone got up in your personal space, was it? It wasn't abnormal to blush when someone said kind words to you, or odd to imagine yourself in different scenarios with someone you saw on a daily basis and they were-

Wait, what was he doing again?

Patton sighed as he set down his bag by Roman's bed. Those were thoughts for another day. He was supposed to be having fun at his best friend's sleepover, after all!

Patton put on a happy face and went back to the living room to join the others, finding that Roman and Remus were wrestling over something, Logan and Janus were debating, and Virgil was scrolling on his phone. Yep, it was going to be a long night.

---

After breaking up Roman and Remus' tussle, watching a couple of movies, and other various shenanigans, Remus decided to gather everyone up in his room to play truth or dare.

If Patton learned anything from watching the others' turns, it was to always choose truth when Remus picks you.

"Double D, Truth or Dare?" Remus asked excitedly, even though he already knew what Janus would say.

"Dare."

Remus grinned like a shark. "I dare you and Patton to stay in my closet for one hour together."

Both Janus and Patton went pale.

"I...lied. I meant truth." Janus quickly said, hoping that Remus would let up.

"Nope! Too late! Now, you and Patton have to get in there, have hate sex or something, and come out in an hour!"

"Uh- we can't!" Patton exclaimed suddenly, and then all eyes were on him.

"What, are you afraid of the dark or something?" Remus teased.

"Um- no- well, kinda- but no. I- uh- have claustrophobia."

Janus looked shocked, to say the least. Thankfully, everyone was still looking at Patton.

"Yeah, small spaces are absolute torture to be in, and I would prefer it if none of us did stuff that involves small spaces, because then I'll worry about them!" Patton rambled quickly, trying to get all attention on him.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Ugh, fine. But you guys still need to do something together."

Patton blushed a bit, and Janus sighed, looking relieved.

Eventually, Remus gave up, and just dared Janus to eat shaving cream.

The rest of the night went smoother, and Patton ended up telling a lot of weird secrets, but not very important ones.

Eventually, everyone was asleep in either Roman's room, or Remus' room. Everyone except Patton, who couldn't get his brain to turn off.

Patton reluctantly got out of his sleeping bag, and made his way to the front door, maybe some fresh air would clear his mind.

Turns out, he wasn't the only one who had that idea, because as he stepped outside, he found the one and only Janus on the porch, smoking a cigarette.

Before Patton could turn back around, Janus saw him, and nodded his head in acknowledgment. Well, no going back now.

Patton silently sat down in the wooden rocking chair next to where Janus was standing, staring off into space a little before speaking up.

"You-you know that smoking is bad for you, right?"

Janus' lips curled up in a small smile as he chuckled. "I'm aware. Don't worry your pretty head, I only do it when I'm stressed."

Patton decided to ignore the way being called pretty by Janus felt and focused on the other part of that statement. "What are you stressed about?"

Janus blew out a puff of smoke, and suddenly Patton was very distracted by his lips.

"You. You're...different than how I thought you'd be." Janus said solemnly, drawing in another breath.

"Is...is that a bad thing?" Patton asked quietly, looking down to the floor.

Janus glanced at Patton with an indecipherable look on his face. "To be honest? I don't know. On one hand, you're actually a decent person."

"Thank you?"

"And on the other," Janus continued. "I've treated you like s**t for no reason other than spite."

"...It's okay-"

"It's not." Janus interrupted.

They sat in silence for awhile, trying to figure out if the other still wanted them here or not.

"Why did you think I was a bad person?" Patton asked quietly.

Janus huffed. "It's complicated."

"I mean...we got all night."

"...true." Janus sighed. "I think it's because ‘nice’ people don't usually want anything to do with me, and when they do, it's usually for the wrong reasons." He explained. "So when you started talking to me...I don't know, you reminded me of all the wrong people."

Patton's heart broke. He reminded Janus of some probably terrible memories, and had probably been hurting him just by being around him! No wonder Janus frowned whenever Patton walked in a room!

"Janus, I'm so so sorry, I never knew-"

"What are you sorry for?"

"I- That I remind you of some terrible people in your life-"

"Patton," Janus rest a hand on Patton's shoulder, making him blush. "You don't have any control over who you remind me of. Please, don't apologize for that."

"Well- then you can't apologize for being reminded of those people either!" Patton argued.

"I didn't say that, I said I was sorry for treating you terribly!"

"Well, then, I guess you're forgiven!" Patton retorted.

Janus looked at him in shock, as if Patton had just said a bunch of profanities, before quickly looking back to stare off into the distance again. His cheeks were red, but Patton convinced himself that he was probably cold out here.

"You're...too forgiving." Janus mumbled softly, as if he was talking to himself.

"I think that's a good thing." Patton replied.

Janus huffed. "...Thank you." He said, looking at Patton with a small smile on his face. "For everything."

Patton blushed. "Y-Yeah. No problem."

Janus looked at him with a disagreeing look on his face, but let it go.

They settled into comfortable silence as Janus threw his cigarette away and Patton almost fell asleep.

The second time Patton had to force his head up, Janus huffed.

"You should probably get to sleep."

As if on cue, Patton yawned. "So should you." He said sleepily, rubbing his eyes.

Janus chuckled. "Fine. I'll go back to bed if you do."

"Okay, fine. You have a deal."

Janus had that stupid, self-satisfied smirk on his face that he usually wore that made Patton feel fuzzy inside.

"Good," He smirked. "See you in the morning."

"Yeah. See ya."

Janus ventured into the house, Patton following a few moments later.

Patton felt like he was getting into dangerous territory with Janus, but instead of feeling concerned, he felt more excited than ever.

~~~~~

Hi guys!!!! Its been awhile! So, this is an au that ive fallen in love with, so i wanna keep writing for it! If you guys have any name ideas, send em my way please!

General Taglist: @resident-crow-goth @macademmia @theantisocialghost @foreverfangirlalways @emo--nightmaree @moxy--sanders101 @quinnthequeer @gattonero17 @trashno0dles @tranquil-space-ninja @chaotic-murder-muffin @lugooble @sander-crossing @princess-rosie @sleepyysoot @hi-its-tutty @lookingforaplacetosleep @sarcasmremovedsoul @corkeecoderyt @drarrymalecsolangelo @private-snippers @girl-who-reads @emy-loves-you @reptilian-with-scallions

Ask to be added or removed!

Reblogs are appreciated!💖

[cantstopkillingtime]

hey! just noticed things were getting a bit heated with that issue about the loki thing. i haven't seen loki so i don't really care about the foundation of the argument, but as i trans guy i would warn against calling any person who disagrees with you "transphobic" and "homophobic", especially if they identify as part of the queer community, which they seem to. not only is it irresponsible, but it is dangerous as it encourages infighting in the queer community. if you don't like someone's argument, i would suggest finding a way to have a civil debate about it and support your reasoning with logic, instead of just jumping to the conclusion that someone's take is wrong because they are homophobic/transphobic. sometimes people will disagree with you, not because they hate you or the fact that you identify as part of the lgbtqia+ community, but just because people disagree about things. but there really isn't any reason to deflect it or hide behind that idea. if you feel uncomfortable about their take or want to argue against it, that's fine, just please don't accuse people of homophobia just because you don't like their opinion. i hope you're doing okay. take care of yourself.

THIS IS

THE FUNNIEST ASK I HAVE EVER FUCKING RECEIVED

LMAOOO

FIRST OFF

i wasnt heated at all, i just hate losers that think marvel has good writing and that the sylkie romance was "PACED WELL" and "MADE SENSE", it was bad and forced, plain and simple,

also i didnt call her transphobic as a joke, she fully misgendered me, and then made a shitty excuse like "its your fault you see it as a gendered term" after being called out by my friend, WHO IS ALSO A WHOLE TRANSGENDER MAN

whether she likes it or not, she was fully and unbashedly transphobic, and i dont play nice with cis people, because they do not deserve my kindness or respect without earning it

now calling her homophobic, that was a joke on how marvel both queer baited and has terrible queer confirmation all at the same time, and then after she blocked me, she reblogged someone who was openly racist on my reblogs too!!

also i dont give a fuck if she is bisexual as well, still cis! and still called it good, which i insulted her take for, thats what my whole thing was!!

and she talked down to me, called me "babe" and "maam" how is she not the biggest cunt in this scenerio!!

also you arent some fucking gospel either, going on anon like a fucking coward, and saying i should use "logic and have a civil debate" what is this, a fucking ben shapiro video and im causing "infighting" in the queer community, do you fucking hear yourself!!! im causing infighting in the entire queer community cause i called some lame ass cis cunt a transphobe for misgendering me and making fun of me AS A PERSON!!!! cause i called her analysis of the sylkie romance lame and wrong

you do not give a fuck about my wellbeing and i def do not give a fuck about yours

[mithliya]

ive been saying that i’ll be posting receipts on the hetfem server, which was also heavily requested by plenty of people on here. this post is going to be pretty long, so i’m putting it under a read more. keep in mind, this isn’t every single wrong thing that has been said on the server, some may disagree with some parts even being wrong to begin with, and this post may have more added to it afterwards in the reblogs. the individuals who have provided me with receipts were all feeling threatened due to knowing how vicious and prone to harassing others the women in this server often are. so ive been sent countless receipts with context, which i have tried to summarise as well. please remember that the point of this post isn’t to call out specific individuals, but rather it is to showcase that the concerns and ‘rumours’ going around about this server were reasonable and true, and to show how lesbophobic and racist this server is (which many have publicly stated before being dogpiled by members of the server). 

first is the zionism and racism in that specific regard. “theHettyishere” is black-diaspora, “Autumn” is probablyaterf. both are partaking in the erasure & justification of how israel is treating palestinians, erasing palestinians proven ties to their country, erasing the war crimes israel partook in, and also erasing the racism within israel which prioritises ashkenazim over mizrahim and black jews.

then they got more blatant and started saying that if you’re anti-zionism then you’re .. anti-semitic ?? keep in mind these people aren’t even jewish 

then they go onto defending christianity

and falsely claim hitler ‘deeply respected’ islam. interesting considering hitler called muslims ‘half-apes’ and all but oh well!  

second set of receipts is the defending of blackface and justification of it. in both these ‘debates’, they literally only present one side and then act like they had a great discussion at the end of it when they’re all just confirming their pre-existing beliefs and using one another to support that. anyways, girlsfrommars had previously come under fire for publicly defending the blackface tradition existing in her country, the netherlands. this is her doing it again after backpedaling on tumblr on this topic, and people in the server standing by her. battleking is bookrebelwordwarrior on tumblr. 

the conversation kinda goes on for a bit and girlfrommars does the same thing she did on tumblr not long before this convo, which was give a “oh ok i’ll reconsider!” which may not be her truth anyways.

next is people on the server saying straight women don’t have enough good representation and even talking about being upset over bi women and even lesbians being represented?? again, autumn is probablyaterf. laughing bird will appear in the screenshots a lot, although i’m not sure what her url is.

idk how to tell these het and bi women.... that lesbians have practically no good representation. especially not as much as het women. there’s a lot of parts of this conversation that are highly questionable. tldr its bad if lesbians or bi women headcannon gnc women as bi or lesbians. also its bad if gnc characters aren’t straight.

this next screen is coming from a het woman so keep that in mind. i don’t know how to put into words why i find this iffy so yall can see it and decide for urselves

she justifies it w this when a couple of members make it clear they find her message questionable:

on a different occasion, girlsfrommars, a white woman, decides to randomly ask other white women in the server what they think about reparations. a bunch of racist white women show themselves during this conversation. please keep in mind i was not the one censoring their usernames so i myself have no idea who these women are, but the person censored in white is emanon, who has a tumblr. i dont know what her tumblr is, but she will appear in multiple other receipts after this. keep in mind this entire channel ends up being deleted by probablyaterf to cover up the racism and prevent the collection of receipts, which you’ll see evidence of later on in this post.

then one of the white women dismisses the impact of racism, basically,

then woc start to chime in (white is the white woman, ‘emanon’)

then, after this conversation went on for a while, a mod decides to tone-police and shame the woc for taking issue with what the white woman was saying. this mod is also white.

“my race doesn’t matter, but i’m jewish” sounds convenient. especially since this person admitted to being white and stated thats why she should stay in her lane the previous day:

back to the dispute between LB and the woc:

remember LB’s tone and behaviour in  the above screenshots as you’ll see how different it is from how she acted when a white woman was being lesbophobic on the server. 

probablyaterf eventually comes in with “both sides were bad :)” basically

girlfrommars makes a non-apology apology about bringing up reparations the way she did

the next set of screenshots is just.. i dont even know what to say about it? yall can see it for yourselves because i think its self-explanatory. battle king = bookrebelwordwarrior, thehettyishere = black-diaspora, autumn = probablyaterf.

then the subtle lesbophobia comes in

this convo was then moved to a channel that was eventually deleted (receipt of that will be shown on this post).

probablyaterf then comes in and says lesbians are All saying the things mentioned above 

then radfemkitten talks about how upset she was and probablyaterf goes on about how this conversation should stop or something 

PAT then lowkey admits that part of the point of her server is to be able to talk shit about lesbians without being criticised for lesbophobia: 

radfemkitten more or less confirms this

PAT basically says “if you think women here are lesbophobic then leave but if you keep criticising what is said then i’ll mute and maybe even kick you!” ok

after this PAT muted that woman for saying that some of the women were being lesbophobic. 

someone showed exactly where lesbophobia was present 

 “straight women should have a space where they can shit talk lesbians without criticism” basically ^. this is the 3rd screenshot where members of the chat, specifically the creator PAT, states that the server exists partially so that non-lesbians can say shit without being criticised for being lesbophobic. 

this was then said by emanon (racist reparations lady): 

then probablyaterf coddles the women who were upset for being held accountable and kicks out the women who called out lesbophobia

probablyaterf deleted entire channels which involved members being lesbophobic and racist for the bullshit reason she provided here, basically admitting she would remove things to prevent the collection of receipts:

this is why she is so confident on her blog about how people can’t possibly have receipts on her server. because she makes sure to delete the evidence. issue is, she did it too late. she then started twisting the story and lying to save face. she removed the conversations regarding reparations, separatism, the accusations of racism & lesbophobia, them complaining about there not being enough good representation of straight women, etc were all removed. evidence:

then it gets even more blatantly sketchy, where PAT basically tells the members of the group to not repeat the drama or dish the details of it, as any honest and open person not hiding questionable shit would do, apparently. 

the details and specifics of this drama were all kept quiet by those involved as well, and those involved agreed to not talk about what has happened in detail.

the bit “one of the members was crying SO MUCH because you called her lesophobic that she almost LEFT HER JOB :(” is funny as y’all can see the situation for yourself up there, she said something and people questioned her on it. this wasn’t a case of a poor defenseless victim being cruelly attacked or whatever.

“a lot of them do tho clearly” keep in mind that there were like what .. 4 lesbians that took issue with the server? and initially there was even less than that.

radfemkitten then goes onto a lesbophobic rant.  

then they changed the story within the server and claimed that the accusations of racism were directed at woc... when it was directed at white women exclusively, as shown above. keep in mind the person claiming this and putting racism in quotations is a white woman herself so. hmm.

next incident is some white woman being very blatantly lesbophobic on the server. several people took issue with it, and she received multiple warnings but was not kicked. keep in mind that earlier, someone was kicked simply for questioning a member on the server and saying they were being lesbophobic. yet when someone is blatantly lesbophobic, they receive multiple warnings and then get away with it. “pinkie the feral one” goes by roxxy, i don’t know if she has a tumblr. notice how laughing bird is comparatively very civil and patient with this roxxy person. 

bi & het women determining that lesbians talking about thinking of pussy somehow implies ‘homosexuals are sex crazed deviants’, is what’s homophobic, btw.

next are when the hetfem server came under fire after TD spoke against it and drama ensued. i was initially 100% for the hetfem server and said those opposing it were being illogical. however, after a while of that drama, some lesbophobia was starting to come out from the hetfems which is when i said i think both sides are wrong. the hetfems took this very personally and proceeded to make lesbophobic comments about how im just bitter bc i dont have a gf or something (altho i was in a relationship back then so lol) and then they blatantly said they dont think het women have power over lesbians. the convo resulted in them full on arguing that lesbians have it easier than het women.

next coming is the hetfem server arguing that abrahamic religions actually *helped* women and how radfems should be talking about that. keep in mind some of these are the same people that mock people who say islam is a ‘feminist religion’. 

next is them arguing on the hetfem server that Nasime Aghdam, the youtube shooter, is male and referencing a meme as a source. they completely ignored the fact that Nasime’s childhood photos make it pretty obvious that that meme was inaccurate anyways. also probablyaterf argued that it’s somehow racist to note that nasime aghdam resembles many other people in the middle east (somewhere im from & where ive lived my entire life). its interesting considering how many things she argued weren’t racist or homophobic, yet noting that someone isn’t a Weird Unusual Looking Alien like she wants to claim is ..racist

the probablyaterf goes on to strawman that i claimed all iranians are clones of each other or smth simply bc i said nasime aghdam’s face is not unusual in countries like iran. also keep in mind the person censored in red is a white woman lol.

henryhetta = foxfur-nadine.

listen.. ive seen women wearing borderline clown makeup in my country. it doesnt make them male. anyways then PAT says ‘maybe im wrong but ill insist im not anyways’, basically.

next is the time black-diaspora posted a pic of my mom taken from my country’s gov facebook page, which provides people with her first & last name. this was brought up on the server. they said i was lying (i was not) and went on about how im crazy and need to get laid. also calling me a ‘nigel’ in one of those screens.

then they just keep justifying it and insulting me. instead of taking issue with what a member of their server did.

so basically “calling out lesbophobia is bad, but posting information that leads to someone’s mom’s full name and facebook is ok, and somehow posting something from a ‘public news article’”

then they said “homosexuality is legal in bahrain” to somehow justify any of this??? as if Bahrain doesn’t have a history of killing, imprisoning, torturing, and exiling Bahrainis that they see criticising the government (which i frequently do) or anything. not like around 200 people have lost their lives for critiquing Bahrain’s government or anything. moreover, plenty of things are ‘legal’ in Bahrain but still lead to punishment. sex outside of marriage is illegal and gay people can’t legally get married, for one. and people have been imprisoned in Bahrain for kissing members of the same sex. but whatever i guess. anyways then radfemkitten argues that i sent a picture doxxing my own fucking mother to black-diaspora. so i endangered my own mother and then begged these people to delete the information they posted, apparently? 

sadly, that is the end of the receipts i have on the topic of BD endangering my mom and the hetfem server justifying it and finding ways to blame me for BD’s actions. so i don’t have the bit that confirms how she explained herself to others and justified it, however she did justify and defend it publicly when i called her out on it. BD was not kicked or muted or anything of the sort for what she has done, and as you can see, everyone justified it and took it as an opportunity to insult me. this wouldn’t have been as much of an issue if i wasn’t from a dictatorship and if my blog wasn’t so political. what BD posted is STILL present on another blog and i could not get staff to delete it, so if the information falls into the wrong hands i don’t know what’ll happen to my mother, or even to me.

next is them justifying allying with the right despite their homophobia, racism, etc. keep in mind some of these women reblogged white supremacist propaganda in agreement with it so this isn’t particularly shocking. christmas begins in november = autumn = probablyaterf.

the issue with this, by the way, is associating with a group that is often misogynistic, homophobic, and racist solely to have a slightly larger platform of people who are more or less heavily for gender, gender roles, and more, sends the message that somehow these are ok things to side with as feminists. yall notice how many ‘radfems’ are literally just conservatives who are against some aspects of misogyny or trans people? these are the people you’re roping in a lot of the time. and this makes the voices of radfems easier to dismiss by the left as well. instead of establishing a space in the left, you end up placing yourself closer to the right and effectively putting the success of your movement to a halt.

these coming screenshots are the hetfems arguing het women have it The Hardest in radfem spaces 

separate event is just some lesbophobia, again.

“imagine a straight/bihet woman wondering what the purpose of a lesbian is” go outside. there’s plenty of that. one idiotic woman saying that about bisexuality doesn’t somehow override that.

more blatant lesbophobia in a separate event. note the reactions underneath the text (all in agreement)

how often have gay people talked about how the stupid “you have equal rights now uwu” bullshit is simply bullshit? this is exactly what men use to dismiss feminists, why do it to dismiss talk of homophobia?

a bunch of white & het/het-passing women joking about making a straight pride or kkk march

remember the white woman, emanon, who argues against reparations because “what about poor white people? :(” she comes in with more racism, and some intersexism too! this is her calling caster semenya, an intersex black woman, a man and using ‘he’ pronouns for her. girlfrommars, the white woman keen on defending blackface, comes in to express her agreement.

then they argue that semenya was raised as a male.. because she refused to wear feminine clothing including in school & because some people thought she was, and thus treated her as such until they realised shes not, a man??

this is more recent than a lot of the previous receipts. i reblogged one post by radfemkitten a while back, and she was so flattered she felt the need to complain about it on the hetfem server, to which someone replied by likening me to a male hippo from madagascar. 

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 45

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43 || CHAPTER 44

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4k // 4.4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- note for this chapter: just extra super fluff for this chapter. soo enjoy? i hope you like it haha! also, i know the song she sings comes out a year later buuuut yea, whatever lol! a few more cute fluff chapters before drama happens sooo yea. i hope you guys like it. i know not many ppl read this anymore and its okay. just know i love you guys for being loyal and reading this story after 45 chapters. your comments and reblogs and likes and asks make me so so so happy i cant explain! keep sending ideas youd like to read too :)

only one request for this chapter but its fluff so :P

Chapter 45 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

I felt myself waking up slowly but kept my eyes closed. My lips curled slightly when I heard my boyfriend’s voice from the shower and I forced myself to open my eyes. I sat up in bed and stretched but when I pushed the covers off of me, I felt a shiver run up my spine despite the fact that it was the end of june and that it was most likely very warm outside. I put my feet off the bed and moved my toes on the carpet before breathing in and getting up. The door was ajar and the closer I got, the better I could hear Niall sing. I pushed on the door slightly and leaned against the door frame, listening to his voice as the steam hit my skin and warmed me.

I had never felt so happy in my entire life with someone and even after all these months, I could barely believe we were dating. I crossed my arms on my chest and leaned my head on the frame too, staring at my boyfriend singing and dancing in the shower. After a while he turned to me and saw me staring at him. He smiled back and made a quick head movement but I shook my head slightly. He rolled his eyes with a smile and opened the glass door. His hair was full of foam and he looked cuter than ever, making me nibble on my bottom lip despite myself.

“Please?” he asked, raising his eyebrows and making me roll my eyes.

I took a few steps closer, letting my arms fall on each side of my body, and his lips curled more at my sight. When he was finally able to reach me, he grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me his way, making me chuckle.

“No no, I took a shower last night remember?”

He smirked and raised his eyebrows at me, not letting go. “And then I fucked your brains out, remember?” he replied in a smartass tone. “Come on, you smell like good sex and sweat.”

I laughed at his words and let him pull me with him. He closed the door behind me and I held my breath as the warm water fell on me and soaked my shirt and panties. Niall smiled more and quickly moved his head back right under the stream to rinse his hair. I stared at his naked body as he closed his eyes, running his hand through his hair to make sure all the soap was gone.

Without thinking, I ran my hands on his wet chest and quickly, he moved his head up again and opened his eyes, bending down to reach my smile with his. The kiss was gentle and soft and I felt water drops fall from his hair to my cheek. A wave of well-being washed over me and I pressed my hands more on his chest.

“What were you singing?” I asked, tilting my chin up.

“Something I wrote. I’ll sing it to you when it’s done.”

I smiled and licked my lips, staring at him some more. I felt like Niall hadn’t written anything in months and I knew he was missing it. I loved watching and listening to him when he was playing guitar, or when he was sitting in front of the piano, but it hadn’t happened much until very recently. He was not the type to share and I respected that, but I was curious and interested in everything that made him happy.

“Happy Birthday petal.” he whispered against my mouth. “How does it feel to date a younger man like me?”

I laughed against his mouth and felt his lips curl against mine.

“Feels amazing.” I admitted, still amused. “Better than yesterday, for sure.”

“But not as good as tomorrow, yea, I know.”

I laughed more and felt his hands slip under my drenched shirt, reaching under my breasts slowly. I bit my bottom lip as he stared at me before kissing me again but deeper this time. I could feel my whole body throb until his thumbs brushed under my breasts. I quickly held my breath again, my heartbeats accelerating, but he just slid his hands back down to my waist.

“Mm, come on darling, take a shower, i’ll go prepare something while you do.”

“Nooo!” I complained when he took a step back. “You can’t turn me on and then leave me here alone.”

He laughed and shook his head, pushing the glass door of the shower again and getting out.

“Such a horny girl.” he just let out, clearly amused by my behavior.

I sent him puppy eyes but he just shook his head and closed the door, trapping me in the shower before blowing me a kiss and leaving.

I grimaced but decided to wash my hair and body quickly after getting undressed and when I finally got out of the shower, I grabbed a fluffy towel only to realize it was warm and I quickly wrapped it around me.

“Thanks for putting it in the dryer.” I let out with a smile when I walked back into our bedroom. “You’re perfect.”

He had put sweatpants and a t-shirt back on and I stared at his back as I tried to find a similar outfit in one of his drawers. With a sigh, I took my towel off and dressed up before rubbing the towel in my hair to dry it more. After a few minutes, he turned around and sent me a fond smile and I smiled back until he handed me something.

“This is one of your gifts.” He explained, holding out a box about as large as a book, wrapped in silver and pink paper. “The personal one.”

I felt my heart skip a few beats inside my chest and smiled as big as possible, pressing my lips together. These were the gifts coming from Niall that I preferred. Of course, I enjoyed the trips, the spa days, the jewels and the activities he gave but the gifts with a meaning meant a million times more and Niall always knew exactly what would make me happy. He gave me things I didn’t even know I needed before.

I licked my lips and grabbed it, unwrapping it very slowly as he stared at my fingers. I let the paper fall on the floor when I noticed an old picture of us in a frame. It was the one I told him to bring on his trip and my lips curled more but i noticed something at the bottom and frowned, moving the frame up to have a better look. My lips parted when I noticed what it was and I looked up in his eyes. It was a card that was part of a game Lottie had brought at the lodge. I remembered picking up that card from the “Kiss & Tell” game before rushing to the bathroom and locking myself in it. I hadn’t told anyone what was on the card except Niall. We had been laying in the dark and I had showing him right before telling him it was him I wanted to kiss, but I didn’t have the guts to. I looked down again at the card and read the words. “Kiss the person you love the most in the room.”

“I kept it and I didn’t know why. It was in my wallet all this time. I remember wondering how I would have felt if you had kissed me instead of Harry after picking up that card, you know?” he shrugged and looked down at it. “That night you said you loved me more than anyone else in the world and I said I did too. I didn’t understand back then why it was so important for me but now I do.”

He took a step closer and brought his hands to my waist, waiting until I looked up in his eyes again.

“When we fought a few months ago after my trip, I left you here to get drunk. We both went to bed mad, or at least not on good terms, and I realized how wrong it was. I want to keep this frame in our room, right next to the bed, so every time we fight or argue, we always work things out here before falling asleep. I will always kiss the person I love the most right before I fall asleep. Every single night. I promise.”

I felt myself tear up and swallowed the lump in my throat. I couldn’t talk, I knew that my voice would crack, and without thinking, I crushed my mouth against his, It hurt slightly but he didn’t say anything. He just pulled me closer and deepened the kiss. He tasted so fucking good and I felt tears fall down my face as we kept on kissing for I don’t know how long. When he pulled away, I kept my eyes closed and brushed my lips against his.

“When you said you were romantic I thought you were the type, you know, to give flowers and stuff.”

He laughed and moved his upper body back to look in my eyes.

“There’s a bouquet waiting for you int he kitchen.”

This time, i’m the one who laughed. I turned around and put the frame next to the bed on the small table and sighed as I looked at our younger faces on the picture. I wanted this house to be full of pictures of us, whether they were recent or old.

“Come, let’s go bake that cake of yours.”

I turned back to him with a frown and tilted my head.

“I gotta bake my own birthday cake?”

He laughed and grabbed my hand, pulling me with him until the kitchen and I noticed all the ingredients already out along with a big bouquets of white and purple lilacs placed in the middle of the table.

“The florist said it looked ridiculous and tried to convince me to add other flowers but I knew that’s what you wanted.” he pointed out. “Just in case though, there’s also a bouquet of roses in the living room.”

I smiled more and chuckled, loving the fact that he knew me so well, and took a step closer to him to kiss his lips.

“Aaaand maybe a few tulips next to the piano.” he grimaced before I brushed my lips on his jaw.

“How are you so perfect?”

He searched for my mouth with his and kissed me deeply again. I was not even surprised that his kisses still made butterflies hit the inside of my stomach, even after so many months. I knew it would always be like that.

“Okay, come on now, let’s bake that cake yea?” he said a little louder, getting out of my embrace and turning around to go grab the flour. “We got up late and we have a busy evening and an even busier night!”

“Niall, I said I didn’t want anything big.” I complained with a grimace, letting my head fall back on my shoulders.

“I promise on my life you’re gonna have fun! It’s just a few hours with our friends, and then i’m bringing you somewhere else just the two of us.”

I wanted to be annoyed but the truth was, I was touched and very very curious. I walked up to him as he was cracking an egg, letting it fall in a bowl and I sighed low of happiness.

“Thank you, Niall.”

He turned his head quickly to peck my lips with a light sound and I chuckled.

“Come on, read the recipe out loud will you?”

Quickly, we made the cake mix and ended up having a bit more difficulty working on the icing. I ended up a bit annoyed and searched through his fridge, taking the cream cheese out and putting it on the counter.

“We’ll just prepare the easiest icing ever and pretend we’re amazing bakers, how’s that?”

He laughed and we started working on it in silence right after putting the mix in the oven.

“Just a bit of milk.” I specified. “Do you have vanilla?”

I watched him combine everything in a bowl as I nibbled my bottom lip and added icing sugar slowly to the mix.

“You know, we’re actually a good team.” I pointed out.

I watched him dip his finger in the icing and sticking his tongue out to get a taste.

“Heyy, what about me?” I frowned jokingly before he dipped an other finger in it and wiped the icing on my cheek, making me groan.

“Come here.”

He pulled me closer and licked my cheek, making a shiver run up my spine at the contact of his tongue with my skin.

“You’re right, it tastes amazing, we’re a good team.” he admitted low. “Not just for baking.”

He took the icing again, taking more of it with his finger and putting it on my neck. I held my breath as his tongue ran on my skin and quivered again in his arms.

“I just took a shower, remember?”

“Oh shut up.” he let out, making me laugh, as he grabbed my waist and pulled me closer.

“Can I get a taste, too?”

Without answering, he brought his lips against mine and kissed me deeply but very slowly.  I closed my eyes, running my hand in his hair and letting a moan escape my lips. He swallowed it and I felt his fingers slip slightly under my shirt, on the skin of my back. I laughed against his mouth when he broke the kiss and shook my head.

“I meant you know, really taste.”

“Mmhm.” he shrugged, pulling away and taking the icing bowl. “I know that’s what you meant, but you can’t taste your cake before tonight.”

“But-”

“Don’t argue!” he cut me with a smirk. “Go in the living room, i’ll join you, okay?”

I groaned and let my feet rub on the wood floor in an annoying noise as a sign of protestation. It’s only when I reached the living room that my lips curled back again. There was a literal fort made with blankets and cushions and I let out a chuckle of amazement.

“Niall?” I asked loud enough for him to hear.

“Sit down! I’m coming!”

I chuckled and got on my knees, pushing the blanket that acted as a door only to sit on the tiny mattress. I couldn’t believe he had taken the time to make a fort in his own living room and I started wondering how long it took him to plan that. He had placed his tablet on the side and when he joined me, I frowned slightly.

“Why did you bring this?” I asked, pointing it right before a smile reappeared on my face.

He handed me a bowl of ice cream and I started jumping slightly on my ass while still sitting.

“Don’t move too much, it’s not that solid.” he laughed a bit. “I thought we could watch a movie together?”

I sent him a fond smile and tilted my head again before nodding very slowly.

“Great! So I bought your favorite ice cream but added candies, chocolate syrup and caramel, the way you like it.”

“Thank you, Nee.” I let out as he sat in front of me. I moved my upper body closer to kiss him. “Thank you so fucking much.” I kissed him again. “Thank you.” Again. “Thank you.” And again.

“You also get to pick the movie.” he let out with a smile, kissing me back. “We’ll watch anything you want. It’s your day.”

I sat back and looked at him with a smirk, raising my eyebrows as his face changed.

“Now you’re scaring me.” he admitted as I laughed, grabbing his tablet. “Wait what are you doing? Isn’t the movie you want to watch on netflix?”

I held his tablet against me and raised my eyebrows at him again.

“Do you promise we’ll watch whatever I want?”

It took him a few seconds but he finally nodded.

“I promise.”

                                                     —

The bar was loud and crowed but we quickly found our friends waiting for us, sitting a bit further with beer and sangria pitchers. I smiled more, a bit excited, and everyone greeted us, telling me ‘happy birthday’ for the first time in person on that day. Louis was the last one and he got up to wrap his arms around me before I hugged him back.

“Happy birthday princess.” he whispered after kissing one of my cheeks and pulling me closer. “I hope your day is perfect, that’s what you deserve.”

I laughed when we pulled away and bit on my bottom lip.

“It is, I have the perfect boyfriend and he made this day perfect.”

We sat down and I felt Niall’s hand slide on my thigh. I quickly put my hand over his and intertwined our fingers, squeezing them hard.

“What did she make you watch?” Louis asked with a smirk. “Back To The Future again?”

Niall’s smile fell and he rolled his eyes, making Louis laugh.

“Which one?”

“Louis, don’t even ask.” Niall argued, shaking his head and making me smile more.

“We didn’t watch Back To The Future.” I pointed out, leaning on the table to get closer to Louis. “I made him watch This Is Us.”

Louis’ eyes moved from me to Niall then back at me and finally on Niall before he burst into laughter, making Niall growl next to me. I squeezed his fingers tighter but I couldn’t help the smile that spread on my face.

“How was it, Neil? To watch a movie with you in it with your girlfriend by your side?” Louis teased.

Niall raised his eyebrows and nose up as he leaned one of his elbow on the table, staring in his friend’s eyes.

“The worst was actually looking at you for an hour and a half, Tommo.”

Louis laughed again and shrugged.

“Guess you’re cursed, mate, because here I am again!”

I laughed and rolled my eyes at their banter until Louis grabbed a glass and poured me sangria. Niall did the same for himself with beer and he finally sighed, the left corner of his lips raising up.

“You know, I can’t really blame her though.” Niall joked. “The girl enjoys looking at me, I just give her what she needs.”

“Oh shut up.” I let out, making him laugh more. “Now what’s so special about tonight? Why are we here anyway?”

I glanced around before meeting Louis’ eyes and he smirked, raising his eyebrows. I didn’t like it and frowned, suddenly a bit scared of what was to come. Julie chuckled and it caught my attention, making me look at her.

“It’s karaoke night.” she explained with a sigh but also a smile on her lips. “And apparently, we’re all going to sing.”

I felt suddenly extremely nervous and without realizing it, I squeezed my boyfriend’s fingers hard between mine.

“Ouch, darling, watch the fingers, they’re important.” he chuckled. “For music and for… you know.. pleasure.”

“Niall.” I whispered, looking down at our hands together. “You know I hate being on a scene. I don’t like attention.”

“You did it a few years ago and you had fun.”

I sent him an annoyed look and sighed, raising my nose up in a grimace. He was right, I had sang a song a while ago at a karaoke night and we always had a lot of fun doing those in someone’s living room, but in public it was a bit different. I was already a bit shy around my friends, so to think i would do it in front of a bunch of strangers made it even worse.

“Here.” Louis let out, pushing the sangria pitcher closer. “Drink up. I’ll go first.”

I swallowed the whole glass in front of me and filled it out again as I watched Louis get on stage and grab a microphone.

“Here’s one of the best written songs in the whole world.” he only explained as the music started.

I held my breath and smiled when I recognized the oasis song and mouthed it with him.

“So Sally can wait, she knows it’s too late as she’s walking on by My soul slides away, but don’t look back in anger I heard you say.”

When he was done and the music stopped, we all got up and started clapping. Liam even whistled loud and I let out a ‘woohoo!“ when he got off stage. He hugged me and bent down to whisper in my ear.

“Do it now, it’s worth it.”

I quickly nodded and he moved away. He extended his hand and I slapped in it before bumping my fist against his.

“Come on, you can do it.” he added as I sent him a smile.

I turned to Niall and I smiled without thinking. I watched him push his glasses on his nose and a bunch of memories of us came back to my mind. I felt so lucky to have him in my life and I chuckled.

“Just for you.”

I didn’t wait for his answer and ran up the stairs as a guy walked up to me to ask me which song I wanted to sing. I told him and he chuckled before nodding and finally left after handing me the microphone.

“I dedicate this to my best friend in the whole wide world.”

The first notes started and I kept my gaze on Niall and when I started singing, I saw him start laughing hard, his mouth wide open. He let his head fall back and clapped in his hands a few times to encourage me.

“Right from the start, couldn’t pull us apart, it just works Nobody else ever gets me as well on this earth Like rock and roll, Marshall’s and telly’s Mac and cheese, PB’s and jellies Some things are better together, and that’s you and me-e

Dude, I love you, bro, I love you Man, I love you You’re my brother from another, 'nother mother You are my favorite, I’m not ashamed to admit Cause I do, dude, I do Dude, I love you, bro, I love you Man, I love you You’re my homie, no one knows me like you know me Like the sun and the moon, all the best things comes in two What would I do without a friend like you?

W-w-w-w-what would I do? Without a friend like you W-w-w-w-what would I do? Without a friend like you?”

I smiled as I sang when I noticed all my friends were standing up and dancing together and when the song stopped, I bowed down quickly and ran back to my friends without really giving them any attention. Niall bent down slightly, his arms open, and I ran to him.. He picked me up for a few seconds and put me back down before kissing me hard, laughing against my lips.

“Good song. Thank you.” he whispered, pulling away. “Now listen to mine, yea?”

I nodded and he grabbed my hand before walking to the stage. When he was far enough, my hand slipped out of his and I just stared at him as he grabbed the microphone. He cleared his throat and licked his lips, making my heart melt in my chest. I sat down but remained on the edge of my chair as he talked.

“For the love of my life.”

It took me literally one note to recognize the song and I held my breath as I felt myself tense. I tried to remember all the words of the song and something twisted in my stomach.

“You’re a falling star, you’re the get away car You’re the line in the sand when I go too far You’re the swimming pool on an August day And you’re the perfect thing to see

And you play it coy, but it’s kinda cute Oh, when you smile at me you know exactly what you do Baby, don’t pretend that you don’t know it’s true 'Cause you can see it when I look at you

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times It’s you, it’s you; you make me sing You’re every line, you’re every word, you’re everything”

I don’t know why but slowly, I got up and walked closer to the scene as we stared at each other. Was it possible for this love story to last forever? Could this love we felt for each other never fade away or die?

“You’re a carousel, you’re a wishing well And you light me up when you ring my bell You’re a mystery, you’re from outer space You’re my every minute of my everyday

And I can’t believe, uh, that I’m your man And I get to kiss you, baby, just because I can Whatever comes our way, oh, we’ll see it through And you know that’s what our love can do

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times It’s you, it’s you; you make me sing You’re every line, you’re every word, you’re everything

So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times It’s you, it’s you; you make me sing You’re every line, you’re every word, you’re everything You’re every song, and I sing along Cause you’re my everything Yeah, yeah

So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la So, la, la, la, la, la, la-la-la, la-la-la”

I didn’t scream when he was done but I heard all our friends do it. He jumped off the stage and cupped my face the way he had done it after playing the song he had written for me and when his wet lips met mine, my eyes fluttered close.

“It’s been six moths but I love you as much as I did back then, maybe even more.” he whispered, kissing me deeply again. “Definitely more.”

“Thank you, Niall.” I breathed out, swallowing hard as I felt myself tear up for the second time that day. “This day is perfect.”

“This day is not over.” he added, smiling more, the palms of his hands warming my already burning cheeks. “Happy birthday Olivia, I love you.”

[bleepblopbloop56]

The Murder in the Dressing Room

Chapter 4: Puzzle Peices

Chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3, ao3

Warnings; blood, death, language, bit of crying, nothing too bad yet

As ALWAYS with this fic the wonderdul lovley beautiful person @pathos-logical did all the editing and 90% of the work. Go love her

((HI I FORGOT TO POST THIS YESTERDAY SO ITS ONE DAY LATE AND IM S O R R Y ))

One more thing before we get started, butnif yall ever wanna come into my askbox and just yell at me about this im so fuckin down for that! Or DM me and yell? Oh it gives me life.

((Reblogs with comments are very very VERY appreciated by the way))

-----

Officers swarmed the apartment just as they had swarmed the theater only days before. Roman was now being shoved into the spotlight by the press, and worse, being deemed suspect number one by every detective on the case. Well… almost every detective. 

"Victim showed obvious signs of a struggle," Remy started, and Logan thought back to the bruise on Roman's stomach, the one his fingertips had grazed over not long ago. He should say something. He didn't. "'Valuable' belongings, if you could call them that, are all in place, and his wallet still has cash, plus one expired credit card. It doesn't look like a robbery," Remy drawled on, circling the body like he belonged with the vultures lining up outside. "And based on… this-" he leaned down and lifted the mask off Remus, exposing his features- "it looks like you were right about our murderer." 

Not only was Remus's corpse adorned with a gold theater mask like the one that Thomas had been left with, it seemed a Joker-esque frown had been carved into Remus' mouth

"It doesn't make sense. I mean, an upper class actor from the nice part of town, and an unemployed man from the bad… What's the relation?" Logan voiced his thoughts, trying to push down the sick feeling that arose upon seeing a photo of Remus and Roman as children covered in the splattered blood. 

"Logan, you know the the relation…" Remus said quietly, eyes softening even as his voice hardened. "You really think it's a random coincidence that Roman moved to town and then both of his roommates were found dead by Roman?” His tone was harsh, but Logan could hear the underlying message. You’re not stupid, Logan, don't do this. Logan shook his head and stepped out into the hallway.

"Roman was with me all night," he admitted. "He has an alibi."

"Unless he fucking killed this guy and then went out and got you tipsy," Remy argued, but his eyes looked more pleading than accusatory. Logan's stomach twisted, and it took effort not to visibly wince. 

"You didn't see him when he found Remus," Logan said flatly. He had heard the scream all the way from the car. When he ran in, Roman had backed himself into a wall, screaming and crying harder than Logan had ever seen anyone cry. Breathing exercises could only go so far when you were five feet away from a dead body…

Logan had been forced to cover Roman's eyes and drag him out of the place to get him to calm down, and even then he'd shaken like a leaf until the ambulance showed up and he'd been treated for shock. 

"Logan I think you're too close to the case." Remy gently placed a hand on Logan's shoulder, but Logan jerked it away.

"How do you know Roman is a suspect and not a victim?" he snapped. "What evidence do you have that says he murdered these people? People he loved and was close to? Why would he wear Remus' clothing because it was too emotionally taxing to move his clothes out of Thomas' house? Why would he leave the bodies and evidence out lying around instead of disposing of them? This is a direct attack towards him, not by him, Remy." Logan was distantly aware his ranting was earning him more than a few confused stares by some of the other officers, but he couldn't bring himself to care. "Someone is out there killing people, and you're accusing an innocent victim based on one piece of evidence." Logan walked out of the building, leaving Remy alone at the scene before he could point out that that one piece was all they had.

_____

"Alright, first of all!" Remy slammed open the door of Logan's office, where Logan had been poring over case files for the past hour. "You don't just do that, okay? You don't just fuckin leave a scene like that and make me hitch a fuckin UBER back, okay? Do you know how sketchy that sounded?" Remy slammed his coffee down and threw off his satchel. "Hey bitch, come pick me up at this crime scene swarming with investigators, sorry my partner dumped my ass and took the car!" He demonstrated talking to the driver over his phone before dropping his hands and staring at Logan with his patented "are you fucking kidding me" face. 

"I apologize, Remington," Logan said tiredly. He set down his pen to give the appearance of giving Remy his full attention, but his mind was a hundred miles away.

"Don't fucking 'Remington' me!" was what Logan got for his efforts. He might have been Logan's inferior, but he sure as hell didn't act like it. "Listen, I get it. You're in love with your ex, who could be a murderer for all we know, and you're super pissed at me for telling you you're being unprofessional for the first time in your life. But that doesn't excuse any of this shit, alright?" Dropping all pretense, Logan dropped his head onto the desk, ready for Remy to shut the fuck up and get out of his office. 

"People. Are. Fucking. Dying. Logan," he growled, voice getting louder with each word. "So how bout you get off your ass and get your shit together!"

There was a beat of silence.

"Okay that's it, I'm done, end of rant." Remy dropped into the chair, going from furious to calm so suddenly it felt like he'd flipped a switch 

"Are you finished?" Logan deadpanned, rubbing his temple. Remy sucked on his straw, nodding silently and kicking his legs up in Logan's desk. Logan took a deep breath, straightening up and picking up his pen again.  "Good. Now can we get to work?" 

______

When Logan picked up Patton from daycare, it took everything in his power not to start sobbing. His baby was here, safe in his arms and alive. His profession wasn't one that exactly supported having kids, and it definitely wasn't one that made it easy to drop off his kid to a stranger and say "here, watch this while I'm gone."

Patton, for his part, didn't notice anything was wrong at first and just enjoyed the extra snuggle time with his dad. Instead of laying Patton down in the baby bed like he usually did for nap time at home, Logan had set him down in his own bed next to him, just wanting to hold Patton as close as possible. 

"Dada?" Patton didn't know many words, but he knew that one well, and it was Logan's favorite. Despite everything, he smiled on reflex, but his expression turned to one of alarm when Patton's bottom lip started to quiver. Patton pressed his little hands into Logan's cheeks, and with a start, Logan realized he'd been crying.

"No- I'm alright, Patton, Dada's alright, please don't cry," he shushed. He sat up slightly and bouncing Patton on his lap in an attempt to calm him down. When Patton's face began to screw up, he said again, slightly more desperately, "Shhh, look, Dada's fine-" But Patton wasn't stupid. He began to wail loudly, upset not only that he missing nap time but that his dad was crying. 

"Is everything okay in here?" Virgil asked, poking his head into the bedroom at the commotion. He was met with the sight of a bawling Patton and a completely overwhelmed Logan looking like he was heading the same way. Virgil wasted no time in walking in and taking Patton from Logan.

"You need a break, man," Virgil said over the crying. His eyes lit up as he was struck by an idea. "Hey, why don't you call your brother? Patton loves that doctor dude."

Logan shoved his head in his hands, trying to keep his breathing even. For a second he wanted to insist he was fine, he could handle this- but then he flinched when Patton's cries got even louder, and he could only sigh and nod. 

Doctor Emile Picani had always loved children. He’d always wanted kids of his own, but the one man he loved more than anything had passed away right after their second anniversary. Emile still wore his ring. So when his phone rang and he was met with his brother practically begging him to take Patton for a few days, he was more than happy to oblige. He was at the house the very next day to take Patton away for him.

"Thank you so much for doing this," Logan sighed, handing over the baby to Emile. Patton bounced and smiled at him, happily wrapping his arms around him the best he could. The night before, Logan had sat down Patton and explained he'd be going to have a playdate with Uncle Emile for a few days. He wasn't entirely certain Patton had understood any of it, but he looked happy enough in his uncle's arms.

Logan gave Patton a small kiss on the forehead before Emile left, straightening out his bright yellow sunflower dress in Emile's hands. (Patton had picked it out himself in the store, and who was Logan to say no to him?)

"Bye bye!" Patton waved enthusiastically, smiling at Logan as he got strapped into his carseat. 

"I love you, Patton," he smiled back, trying to pull up genuine cheer for him. He knew that sending Patton away for a day or two would be good for Logan, would let him grieve and mourn in private, but god was it hard sending his baby away. 

Virgil was waiting for him when he dragged himself away from the car and back into the apartment. 

"How ya holdin' up?" he asked gently, and that was the straw that broke the camel's back. Logan collapsed forward into his shoulder, despite the considerable height difference. It was sloppy and unprofessional, but it was also long overdue.

"Hey, hey, hey- dude, it's okay," Virgil tried, running a hand through Logan's hair. Logan's glasses were stabbing at Virgil's shoulder through his pajama shirt, and Logan had to be uncomfortable too. But Virgil wasn't going to mention that now. He just stayed standing as his friend heaved and sobbed, clutching at his shirt and desperately looking for comfort.

It was in moments like these that Virgil remembered Logan really was still just a kid. He might be a detective and act all mature and have a kid, but he was still just twenty-seven. He didn't really have his life together yet- because who the hell did in their twenties? And he had just lost his best friend, and now was the first time he'd let himself honestly cry. 

"Logan, it's okay," Virgil tried again when Logan's sobs had quieted to sniffles. But he only got a soft "Is it?" in return. 

----

The murder in the dressing room taglist:

@cataclysm-al @theteenagetrickster @intrurality-fusion @katie-the-noble-fangirl @whizzie72 @grayson-22 @i-have-n0-idea-what-im-d0ing @winterwonderland7669 @missieluvsmurder @sign-from-god-complex @dragonindigo245 @angryfanboyscreaming @ninja-wizard101 @sombraookami @crystalistrappedintheinternet @imtooaromanticforthis @why-should-i-tell-youu2 @dragon-hair @satanblessi @spookilyfingergunsoutofexistence @skruffy901 @selectivereality @nonbeenary-enbee @imbasicallyshakespear @cats-vetal-miking-vomit @incoherentfangirl @oofmood

[tanukyclaws]

This will be a rant/discussion about Fairgame, Bumbleby, and how badly RT actually treats LGBT characters:

Someone said that this volume was meant to be watched in one sitting, and now that I did it I agree, and watching it in one sitting also changes things and some of them get a new meaning.

Firstly, Id like to apologize to the fairgame shippers, I said that nobody’s at fault here since they didnt have enough scenes, stuff like that. I was wrong, I forgot some of them, when you dont rewatch the show you forget things, and I think most of us who did say they werent that focused just forgot all the teasing. I shipped it too, I thought it was cute, wasnt amazed by Clover but i didnt dislike him either and his interactions with Qrow were cute and the start of something nice and healthy. Now that I saw all their scenes again, now that I realized just how much teasing went in there, c12 hits differently.

“Oh they had just 2 scenes” “oh it was just a wink nothing much” may I remind you, before the end of v3 thats all we had for the bees pretty much? I dont want to compare either, but lets face it, the bees werent the most outright teased ship out there like arkos, it was subtle, just like fair game. Often in my pro bees argument I say “Why did they show them like this in this scene?” because scenes exist for a reason, focus exists for a reason, people smile and wink in real life and its just a coincidence sure, but things in the show are done  FOR A REASON. So unless someone can explain to me while all of Clover’s scenes were with Qrow, why he had the same flirty scene as that waitress from v4, why Qrow always playfully smiled and said stuff like “showoff heh” and make it make sense then Ill just blame it on unprofessionalism. No, I dont think its queerbaiting, but heck it almost was. There were miscommunications between the animation team and the writers and you can see that, they even acknowledged it.  But its already done, the hurt is already here.

Now, someone else who was mad about fairgame (rightfully so) said “oh its not queerbaiting cause they have other lgbt characters? Oh yeah that one lesbian that was bad at first and the 2 wlw women we will never see again” and they’re right:

Coco? Have we EVER seen her flirt/have interactions with women? She’s such a “player” in the book but in show she does nothing like that?

Scarlet? Same as Coco, and poor guy had only like  2 lines??

Oh look we have a trans character too! With only 1 line. Trans people, well all lgbt people deserve better. Im happy about May, I hope we get more trans characters that are actually relevant and not just in the background for 2 scenes.

Jaune’s sister? She said she has a wife once, we saw her in 2 scenes, and they touched hands while far away from each other on a couch. PEAK romance right?

I want you to actually look at our lgbt content, like actually look at it. Do you think its satisfying now when you see all those things?

We were too happy about the bees that we didnt realize how shitty lgbt characters get treated. If you think being in the background all the time is satisfying enough then good for you! I dont think lgbt characters not dying is peak representation. And lets face the truth about the bees: its taking too long. I dont care how slowburn you want it to be, they were from the holy trinity: arkos, renora, the bees. It took us how long exactly to get a definitely romantic interaction? (the blush from earlier this season). While Nora was talking about her and Ren and teasing it herself to say so, while Pyrrha was crushing on Jaune and showing it, while the straight characters got the romance.

Gay romance is the fucking same as straight romance. There’s no such thing as “I dont know how to write it”. Simple, write a het romance, then change the gender of one character, boom you got it.

I dont  care that the bees are romantic at this point, they are, I can bet on it, they will be canon too. But what’s up with all this waiting? Why do we have to wait YEARS for this? Why do the straight romances get kisses and blushes and romantic lines while we get a funny cute dance in the background and a few looks? Slowburns are good if done RIGHT, which if they continue like this bumbleby will not be. Its like the feast the straights are having, they give you a plate full of food too but tell you to wait. You wait, and you wait, and you wait, then the food is cold and gone bad and nobody’s there anymore and its just shit. I used to ship bubbline before I got into rwby, heck they were the reason I realized im gay. 

And I felt nothing when they kissed, it was just too long, its been more than 5-6 years of my life that I waited. When does too long become too long? Arent yall also tired of gay character getting some scenes right at the end of the show/episode? Arent we all tired of getting treated like shit?

I want you to take a moment again and think. Think how all the confirmed lgbt characters we have are either in the background/had only 1 line/ never were shown to be lgbt in the show. Think how all the straight pairings got definitely romantic moments, even got to kiss, but we just get a blush and a few looks.

Are you truly satisfied? How come we got to defend roosterteeth so badly? How come we got to defend RWBY and say it got rep, even good rep at that?

Look at these things and tell me in the face RWBY’s got good rep.

I just cant anymore. The show is fantastic, story and animation is really good, but Im tired of how we get treated.

Ill quit RWBY, Ill move to SPOP (which got actual good lgbt content and rep, and its EQUAL to the straight rep, unlike rwby that treats lgbt characters like dogs and barely give them some bones while straight characters get all the shit), Ill probably reblog some fanart and stuff of the bees cause I still love them to death, but roosterteeth is dead in my eyes. Ill cancel my subscription and never subscribe again, and I feel bad that I had so much hope and paid just to be spitted in the face.

Dont try to argue me into anything, I ask you, to please, just actually think about what we got and what we’re getting, and answer yourself honestly: is this enough? Is this what we actually wanted?

* cough salty stuff dont read cough* ALSO WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE POINT OF THE FUCKING “Will they kiss?” IF THEY BARELY HAD 2 SCENES TOGETHER THIS WHOLE VOLUME BARBARA FUCKING PLEASE. You tease something if you FUCKING DELIVER, not for the sake of it. This is one of the biggest factors that got me this disappointed