#please please please take me back to october 19th | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cillianhead · 1 year ago

Note

Hello dear!!! I hope you're having a wonderful day!

Could you please write a piece about Cillian falling for a (younger!) poet? He starts frequenting her reading sessions and that's how they meet. The rest is up to you!

Thank you 🩵

Yes!! Love this, thank you <3

Enjoy my sweet nonny!

This is heavily inspired by the song All Too Well (10-minute version) (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift!!

Wind In My Hair, I Was There || Cillian Murphy x Reader

warnings: Smut, angst, age gap (reader is in her mid to late twenties, Cillian is in his forties.), swearing, Cillian is sort of an asshole in this in some parts, so that is a warning, infidelity (Cillian is married), general adult content ahead!!

Minors DNI! 18+

I'd also like to clarify this isn't really based on the real Cillian!! I know he's married and very happy, this is just fiction and fantasy!! Not meant to portray Cillian as a bad person!! I'd also like to clarify that the ready doesn't really know who Cillian is... or maybe like Cillian isn't that famous in this fic universe or something because there are a few plot points that may seem questionable... that's all. Anyway... enjoy!!

The autumn you spent with Cillian Murphy would be one you would always remember, not that you really had a choice in whether or not you could forget him.

Your apartment was small and cozy at the time, with a perfect view of the falling leaves outside. It was sitting across from a small park in New York City; the trees were red and orange, and it felt like the fall was putting on a show just for you. You felt fortunate and privileged to live in such a place.

You lived right up the road from a small cafe with a library. Every Thursday, you meet with like-minded writers and read your work aloud. It helped bring you out of your shell; you felt a sense of pride when you read your poetry out loud and had people praise you for being so brave and how well you wrote. Despite the fact you have been attending these little group meetings for almost two years now and you felt pretty comfortable amongst the people who were there, you felt like you could vomit your pounding heart right up every time you stood at that podium in front of the dozen or so people that attended. But even with the lump in your throat, you'd read with a shaky voice and tears ready to spill, you would receive the same round of applause every time and a pat on the back from some of the attendees you were closer with.

It was September 14th when you first saw him, but it wasn't the first time he had seen you, summer still lingering in the air but barely grasping on as Autumn began to take the reigns. You were standing at that cedar-wood podium, reading aloud as nervously as you always did. You had yet to notice him quietly slip in; you were too busy ensuring you were on the right line.

"-And something beautiful sprouted, something that I am not... something that I never will be." You looked up after reading the last line, biting your lip nervously and stepping back from the speaking podium. There he sat, in a sweater and the most hypnotizing eyes you had ever seen. Maybe love at first sight was real, you thought briefly. People clapped, but the room remained silent and still for you as you two made eye contact; he didn't clap; he just stared at you with a look that told you he was just as taken aback by you as you were by him.

He kept attending the sessions, but he never got up and read anything and never really interacted with anyone else; in fact, you'd see him get up and leave once you had finished reading your poetry. You wondered if anyone else noticed him the way you did, or maybe he was a figment of your imagination... a ghost.

It was October 19th when you first spoke with him. You dreamt about him day and night, and you two had never even spoken before every session; you'd wonder if he'd be there, and he always was. Sitting in the same seat, at the very back, going ultimately unnoticed by almost everyone but you.

"Excuse me, sir!" You yelled out, rushing to follow the man in the plaid shirt and beanie. "You dropped this!" It was a pair of keys you had clutched in your hand, the crisp autumn air meeting the apples of your cheeks.

He turned around, only a foot or two away from you, as he looked at you up and down, taking notice of his keys in your hand. "Oh gosh, thank you, love," He took the keys gently out of your hand, his fingers lingering on yours a little too long for a stranger, fingertips brushing together. "I swear I'd lose my head if it weren't screwed on." You took notice of his Irish accent. It made you even more curious to know him better. "Erm... thank you so much."

"It's no problem..." You trailed off. You're not sure what to say now. He gave you a stiff nod and started to turn around and keep walking, but you just couldn't let him leave. "Wait!" What do you say now?

"Yeah?" He turned around, tilting his head at you, blue eyes staring at you, waiting.

"I... I'm Y/N... by the way... I always see you here... but I never see you read anything..."

"Cillian," He chuckled. "Not interested in reading anything I've written, only here to listen." Cillian's response was short but straight to the point.

"You don't stick around for very long... you always leave after... I've finished reading my writing..."

"Well... your work is the only one I come to listen to. The rest of the lots' poems just go in one ear and out the other," He said honestly. "You've got a charm about you; I've never heard anything like what you write. It's unique and intelligent, cleverly crafted written pieces... It captures my attention, unlike the rest, which all seem like people trying to mimic someone else... you write from your heart... or your head... I can't decide which, really." He notices your silence, Cillian steps a bit closer to you. "Perhaps I've said too much." He mumbles. The proximity of where he stands is close enough that you can feel his warmth, a stark contrast to how cold it was outside. "You've surely captivated me, Y/N." He said your name like it was a sacred prayer.

You felt like your heart was in your throat, looking at him dumbfounded and unsure what to say. "That's... very flattering, I don't know what to say... thank you, Cillian..." You scratch behind your ear, swaying nervously on your feet. Cars honked, and people passed by as you two stood outside the little cafe, which was now closed since the reading sessions had ended. Cillian looked around awkwardly before sucking in a deep breath and exhaling, his breath visible out in the open air due to how cold it was.

"Would you like to go out for dinner with me?" Cillian looked at you, eyes reflecting the city lights. The moment felt like something from a movie or something you'd write a poem about. It felt like something that wasn't quite possible within these depths of reality. "I understand... if not... you're a young beautiful woman... probably got someone waitin' at home for y-" "N-No, I'd love to!" You interrupted him, with your heart racing. "I'd love to go to dinner with you... I don't have anyone at home... waiting for me..."

"Well, aren't I lucky... when are you free?" He gave you a smile, the first you'd ever seen from him. It made his usually sombre face light up; he grinned, making you feel all giddy.

"I'm free any time on the weekends... and on Tuesdays, I have work off, so... I would love to... see you this weekend, maybe?"

"Wonderful, Saturday evening, you and me?"

You nodded. You exchanged numbers and went on your merry way, walking down the streets of New York City with a smile on your face that was purely gleeful. People would give you looks, but you didn't care. You were excited about something for once. You obsessed over it for the next day and a half.

October 21st marked your very first date with Cillian Murphy. At six, you waited patiently outside your apartment building in the cold air. With a red scarf wrapped around your neck your nose runny from the autumnal weather, you looked around like a lost puppy.

"Y/N," Cillian's warm voice startled you from behind you. You jumped but swiftly turned around to look at him, a bashful smile on both of your faces. "You look lovely." You felt your heart pound at the sight of him.

"Thank you. You also look lovely yourself." You replied. He leaned in and kissed your cheek before taking your hand in his and guiding you down the street. The feeling of his hand in yours made the cold weather seem like summer. Your body lit in flames at the idea he wanted you close to him. And the feeling of his lips on your cheek remained there the whole evening, burning its mark into your skin.

The night went on, and you found yourself in a charming Italian restaurant. It was nothing too fancy, but it was nice and romantic for a first date, definitely nicer than any other places other guys have taken you. It was just the two of you sitting towards the back, in a small booth, eating your plates of pasta. You talked, and you talked, and you talked. He spoke about how he was an actor; you could see his eyes light up at his passion for his work. He told you he was in New York for work and was filming a movie for something he couldn't legally disclose yet. Your chemistry was magnetic, and the conversation would weave in and out of different subjects. You talked about anything and everything, things like masculinity, The Beatles, the incident that happened on your 21st Birthday, batman, and everything else there was to discuss. You felt like you had known him forever. He said the same thing and referred to you two as twin flames. When you were about to leave, his phone began to ring.

"Fuckin' hell, what is it now?" He groaned. "Probably just a wrong number... or somethin'... hold on, love." He stepped outside, and you watched him on the phone. Cillian looked angry and frustrated, like he was arguing over the phone with someone. Your heart, which once rode the waves of love and joy, now sank beneath them into the deep dark depths of navy blue and dismay, watching him grow angrier and angrier and yell over the phone. He was seeing red.

When he waved for you to come out, you approached him cautiously. He huffed, puffed, and fidgeted his hands in his pockets, clearly restless. "Who was that? Are you okay?" "It was no one," He replied shortly and coldly. "I'm fine, let's go." You didn't say a word after that. The tension was thicker than the cold. You were afraid of saying anything to further upset him. So silence was the answer as he walked you home. You felt disappointed that this was how the night was ending. You wondered who it was and what they had said that had upset him so badly. The familiar apartment building you called home came closer and closer within sight, the disappointment weighing you down like water in your shoes. The disappointment tracing every inch of your freezing skin.

You stood in your elevator with him. He promised to walk you back to your unit at least, and he kept that promise. "Would you like to come in... Cillian?" You asked. You pulled out your house key and unlocked the door, looking at him hopefully.

"No, I'd better not." He remained cold and rigid with you. He couldn't even bring himself to give you a smile. You felt you'd never see him again; maybe he didn't like you the way you thought he did. Maybe he found you obnoxious and dumb. Perhaps the phone call was from another woman he realized was better than you. Maybe you simply needed to be better for him. "Goodnight, Y/N." He turned and walked away; you couldn't speak as tears welled in your eyes. Sorrow built up within you like some sort of horrible game of Jenga; one wrong move and you'd come crashing down and falling apart all over the place.

"Goodnight..." You whispered, but by then, he'd already stepped into the elevator, and the doors shut, taking him away from you. You cried yourself to sleep that night, both out of self-pity and disappointment.

When you awoke, it was to the sounds of soft raps on your front door. It was eight in the morning. Padding gently down the hallway, floorboards creaking, sleep still in your eyes, and your face puffy from the tears that leaked from your tear ducts the previous night, you opened the door, expecting it to be a neighbor asking you if they could borrow some sugar or something along those lines.

"Good morning," Cillian stood at your door, this time with a big apologetic smile, a complete change from last night's cold demeanour. He held a pink, yellow, and white bouquet and a small paper bag in his other hand. "I came here to apologize... for how I treated you last night." "Come in." You ushered him in.

He noted your knick-knacks, the photos on your walls, and your old, worn-out furniture. The way you decorated the place stood out to him, but the look on your face stood out to him the most. Sad, tired eyes, puffy and glazed over, you looked at him expectantly. "I'm so sorry." He whispered to you.

"What for?" You asked as you sat in your favorite olive green armchair. It was velvet and soft, and you'd spend most of your time writing, reading, or drinking your morning cup of coffee.

"For treating you like I didn't care," He sighed. He sat on the leather sofa beside you, gently placing the flowers on your glass coffee table and the paper bag smelling of freshly baked goods. "I don't want to discuss exactly who it was or what happened on that phone call... but I... I shouldn't have shut you out just because I was upset... that was... wrong of me, and I'm sorry." Your anger and sadness dissipated the way a fire dissipates when it's being smothered: immediately. His big blue eyes were the blanket that hushed that flame out, striking him as immediately forgiven.

"I understand, Cillian..." You mumbled, pulling your knees up to your chest. "Things happen... it's alright... I...." You wanted to confront him and tell him how insignificant and stupid he made you feel, but you swallowed it back and gave him a small smile. You remained the people pleaser you always have been. You spared his feelings over your own. "I understand." You repeated.

"I thought... I would make it up to you," He pushed the small paper bag over to you. "We could spend the day together... if you don't already have plans."

The paper bag contained a chocolate eclair. You had written a poem that mentioned eating a chocolate eclair while in a made-up love affair. The rhyming was cheesy, but it was one of Cillian's favorite poems of yours. It was the first one he had heard from you. Of course, you didn't realize the irony of it at the time. You just grinned and accepted it happily. You didn't know that you were engaging in a relationship with a man who was already married. So you took a bite of the eclair, letting him into your fragile heart, and entered this sad and tragic love affair.

So you spent the whole day together. You walked around New York City, holding hands and laughing your heads off. It felt romantic and intimate, and you got to know each other even deeper than you did before. You kissed under a stop sign and shared sweet nothings. The clouds rolled over, and the sky opened up. The rain watered you down like a pair of leaves in a pot plant, and you both ran through Central Park, trying to find the nearest shelter until you came across a large oak tree. It was something out of a movie, sitting together, soaking wet, staring at each other as lightning strikes in the distance. The wind was in your hair, and his lips were on yours.

You spent pretty much every day together after that. You made love in every room of your apartment, cherishing each other's bodies. Cillian would sit in that cafe, and he would clap after your readings and then reward you with a kiss when you got back down to him. You wrote poetry about him, and he would write some for you. It was a beautiful, quiet, little harmonious relationship you had going on. You found yourself falling in love. You thought he was, too, though you never said it out loud.

He even met your dad. They got along quite well. Your dad didn't seem to mind that Cillian was only a few years younger than him (and much older than you). Your dad just wanted to see you happy and safe. In fact, your dad told you he had never seen you more content. Cillian made your dad laugh, they got along like old friends. Seeing them bonding and getting along made you incredibly happy and excited.

On November 16th, at noon, you got ready to go to where he was staying, wrapping that red scarf around your neck again and stepping out into the living room where Cillian waited for you with eyes full of affection. You had packed a small bag since Cillian told you he was staying at his sister's house in upstate New York. She was away at the moment. "Most beautiful girl I've ever seen." He hummed jollily. You wrapped your arm through his and went down to the lobby.

His car had that new car smell, clearly a rental. "No matter how often I've stayed in America, I never get used to driving on the wrong side of the road." Cillian chuckled, exiting his parking spot and beginning the long drive to his sister's house.

The drive was beautiful. Driving through the city and slowly entering into suburban areas, red and brown trees lining the streets, Halloween decorations on display, and music playing through the radio, you both sang along to the words happily. The drive was surreal and peaceful. You drove down a long country road, and the tall trees created a tunnel above you. Only small slits of the grey sky could be seen through the scarlet leaves.

"We're here, Y/N," Cillian smiled at you, stepping out of the car and walking off without you. You hurriedly got out of the car with your things. "Oh, lock the car for me, the button doesn't work... please, love." He tossed you the car keys, not looking where he was throwing them, and they landed in the dirt before you. You ignored how it made you feel (stupid, insignificant, small), picking up the dirty keys and locking the car manually before rushing over to where he was unlocking the door.

The house was nice and quiet and far from the rest of civilization. It felt like home somehow. It is decorated nicely with photos of his sister and her husband, even some with Cillian when he was younger. It was getting dark by now, and you set your belongings down in the guest bedroom where Cillian was staying. You never asked when he was going back to Ireland. You didn't wanna know. You wanted to appreciate your time together instead of counting down the days.

Cillian cooked you dinner and shared a long, loving kiss to say thanks. You sat cuddled up on the couch together afterwards, your crimson scarf hanging over the stair railing as you rested your head lovingly on his shoulder. An old Western movie played in the background, but you were too busy holding each other and whispering sweet things.

"Cillian..." You whispered, pressing soft kisses along his stubbly jaw. "I'm so happy you brought me here... this feels so special." "I'm so happy to have you here, Y/N." He whispered back. Cillian pulled you into his lap. "This is special, just you and me... here... I'm going to make you my own." You wanted to tell him, 'I'm already yours, Cillian; my heart and soul are yours', but you remained silent, smiling dopily at him.

And with those charming words, you kissed him. Flashes of red played through your mind, fireworks sounding off in your head as your lips danced together. His hands cradled your head as you made out nice and slow. Both in your pyjamas now, warming each other up, hands running up and down his back. Cillian's hands wandered down your back until they rested on the tops of your hips, his thumb fiddling with the waistband of your sweatpants.

"Take them off." You hummed, raising your hips slightly off of his, and he obeyed, sliding your pants off until you were only in your panties. Cillian observed how you sat back down on his lap, the lace scrunched up, showing off the curve of your ass.

"I'm going to ravish you." He growled, eyeing you up and down. The timbre of his voice caused your thighs to tightly squeeze together. He pressed you down onto the couch, slipping his pants down until he was just in his briefs. He slipped your shirt over your tits, breasts bouncing out of their containment and straight into his mouth. He sucked happily on your nipples until you were a panting mess, begging for more. "Let me feel you, sweetheart."

"Please..." You exasperated. "Please... Cillian."

Two nimble fingers slipped under your lace underwear, straight down to where your arousal pooled. "So wet f'me, always so wet, aren't you, baby?" He groaned, fingers teasing your slit before sliding back up to rub circles on your clit.

"You know what you do to me..." You breathed out, biting your cherry red lips and closing your eyes, embracing the pleasure. "Always so wet for you, Cillian..."

The way Cillian cradled you in his strong arms as his fingers caressed you to your peak was the most intimate thing you had ever experienced. His eyes watched your face contort with pleasure, mouth open and spilling sounds of satisfaction as you came on his fingers.

"That's it, baby... doing so good," He whispered, kissing your cheek. "So beautiful."

You lolled your head to the side, panting and looking at him with a dazed grin. "Please fuck me."

Cillian laughed at your words. "Such a dirty mouth!" He teased as he tugged down his pants. "Gonna fuck you nice and slow, gonna show you how much you mean to me, love."

Then, in the dim light of the TV and the moon shining through the window, you made love like it was your last night on Earth. Hands ran up and down each other's bodies, trying to savor every final touch. Lips captured together, your bodies working as one, the love was there, glimmering in the light. No words could explain how you felt then; nothing else existed to you, just him and his hands all over your body. You and him for the rest of eternity, at least; that's how it felt in your heart.

You held each other tight in bed, clinging on for dear life. You listened to his heart slow as he slept and the way he breathed. You wondered if he dreamt about you the way you dreamt of him. Eventually, you fell asleep at midnight after watching his pretty face sleeping.

At three in the morning, you wake to an empty bed. Sitting up with a sweat, where did Cillian go? You slip out from under the covers, wincing at the room's cold air that meets your bare legs. You wore one of Cillian's button-ups, only the middle button holding it together as you slowly creep out of the room, listening to the sound of quiet music from the kitchen.

"Cillian?" You called out, cautious and slightly afraid at how dark the house is. It was a lot quieter than you were used to. You were a city girl, unfamiliar with the countryside silence.

"Y/N?" You heard, which relieved your paranoid mind.

Down the stairs, Cillian stood in the fridge's light, soft music playing through a small radio on the kitchen counter. "What're you doing up, Cillian?" You worriedly walked over to him, arms reached out as he turned to look at you, only in his sleep shorts.

"Just needed a midnight snack. I'm alright, my love," He smiled sleepily, with a sheepish look since he wasn't fully awake yet. "C'mere... dance with me."

"Oh... Cillian..." You giggled, walking over to him, letting him wrap you up in his strong arms and sway you gently. "This is nice."

"Mmmm..." Cillian hummed into the soft skin of your neck.

The refrigerator remained open, the cool-tinted light painting you both as you swayed side to side. You were half asleep, and the rocking motion didn't help your drowsiness. You felt as though this was some strange dream.

"Are you real?" You whispered.

"What do you mean?" Cillian purred back.

"I just feel like I made you up." You muttered, pulling your head back to look up at him with big, sleepy eyes.

Cillian looked back at you with the same look. Your wide-eyed gaze and his sweet blue eyes looked like something out of a romance film or something you'd see in a painting. The love you shared was unanimous... or at least you thought so. A kiss and then another kiss and then another turned into a sleepy yet heated make-out.

"Gonna take you right here," He grumbled into your mouth. "My midnight snack."

You giggled at his words as he pressed you against the kitchen island countertop. Kissing so hard it felt like your lips could bruise. He ripped off your shirt and pulled it off you like it was nothing. Cillian growled at the sight of you, hands groping at your tits and lips trailing down your neck. You whimpered, letting your head hang back as he ground his stiff cock into your clothed cunt.

"Fuck!" You whined, wrapping your legs around his hips even further. You ignored the feeling of the marble countertop digging into your lower back; the feeling of his cock was too delicious, too distracting, to really let it ruin the mood. "Cillian, please, baby, just put it in me... need you so bad."

He gave you a grunt and slipped off his shorts before pulling your panties to the side. Cillian acted like a feral dog as he pushed his cock into you and began fucking you on his sister's countertops at three in the morning. The act was sinful.

"Oh god! Yes!" You wailed. You could be as loud as you wanted to out here. No one else was around to hear, and you knew how Cillian liked to hear you scream for him. His hips pistoned in and out of you, cock fitting perfectly inside you. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head. He had never been so rough with you before, but you were enjoying it.

"Best pussy I've ever had," Cillian groaned, sweat dripping from his forehead. "Fuck... so good... feels so good."

His fingernails dug into your hips, grunting into the dips of your neck and shoulders as he chased his own high. You ran your hands up and down his back, leaving scratch marks across his shoulder blades. The fridge remained open, but right now, you didn't care. All you could think about was how good he was fucking you. Drool spilled down your chin, mind blank, and legs went limp from the euphoria taking over.

"Yeah, is that it?" Cillian muttered, voice gritty and low as his hips sputtered. "You gonna cum for me, baby? Gonna cum on my cock?"

"Yes... oh fuck! Yes!" You moaned. "Gonna cum for you, Cillian..."

"Love the way my name sounds comin' from your mouth," He whispered, letting out a mouth-watering whine straight into your ear. Your pussy clenched around him tighter as Cillian, usually a quiet and stoic man, came undone and let out the most delectable pornographic-sounding moans. "Y'make it sound so dirty..."

"Please cum in me..." You whimpered. "Please... need it so bad."

"Really?" Cillian panted and looked at you incredulously. He had never had the pleasure of getting to cum in you yet. "You sure?"

"Yes!" You threw your head back, panting like a dog. "Please, Cillian! Please... give it to me." "Fuck... alright... gonna fill you up, love."

You pressed your face into the curve of his neck, mewling as you came around him and the feeling of his hot cum beginning to spill into you. "I love you." You gasped out, squeezing your eyes shut as you came around him. You meant it; you did love him. You had never loved anyone the way you had loved him. You could see yourself with him for the rest of your life, having his babies, getting married..., and dying together. He just groaned loudly as he came inside you, not saying a word to your confession. Maybe it wasn't the right time, or he would wait until he was done to say something.

"Fuckin' hell..." Cillian whispered as he slipped his softening length out of you and pulled his shorts back up. "Look at that..." He mumbled with amazement, getting down on his knees in front of your quivering and cum-filled pussy.

"Cillian, I-"

"Shhh..." He hushed before pressing a loving nip to your inner thigh, and then he unhinged his jaw and attached his watering mouth to your cunt. You forgot everything you were about to say at the feeling of his tongue licking you up and sucking on your swollen clit. You came again quickly due to how sensitive you were, and Cillian sucked up your gushing juices and his cum that still dripped out of you. Standing up, he grabbed you by the chin and kissed you, spitting the mixture into your mouth, tongues swirling together. You moaned at the salty taste and the dirty act. "Such a good girl..." Cillian hummed. "Swallow it, baby. Show me how good you can be for me."

He watched you gulp it down before leaning in and rewarding you with a wet and messy kiss, teeth grabbing your bottom lip before pulling away. "Cillian..." You whispered, out of breath and incredibly flustered. "That... was so good... I love-" "Let's go to sleep," He interrupted abruptly, crouching and picking up your discarded clothing. "It's real late, sweetheart."

"Oh..." You mumbled, heart breaking a little. "Okay... let's go then." You didn't get a peep of sleep that night. While Cillian snored beside you, one heavy arm draped across you and his hot breath fanning the back of your neck, you stared at the ticking clock with tears slipping down your face. Why didn't he say it back? Why didn't he at least say something? You knew he heard you. The dread built up within you that night, and daylight didn't seem to get any closer.

At 7:47 AM, you were pulled out of a state between consciousness and sleep by Cillian's phone ringing. "Fuck..." Cillian said groggily, reaching over with a heavy hand to pick up his phone. "Who is it?" You moaned out of dissatisfaction from being pulled out of your slumber.

"It's my sister..." He groaned before answering the call. "Hello?.... Yeah, it's alright... no, I don't have anything on today... you're comin' home today?... I thought you'd be home Monday..." You sat up at this, heart racing. Were you going to have to meet his sister today? You were nervous but also excited. Cillian looked over at you with a horrified look in his eye. "Yeah... alright... see you then... bye."

"...Is everything okay?" You asked cautiously.

"Yeah, I guess we're not sleepin' in..." He grunted as he got up and walked towards the en suite. "Gather yer' things, we're going back to the city." "What? Why?"

"I just don't want my sister to know I had a girl over." That was the last thing he said before shutting the bathroom door, clearly in a bad mood. Your heart sank at his words as if it wasn't already hurting. So you got up, fighting back the tears and gathered your things, shoving them back into your bag as you let out a choked sob.

Half an hour passed, Cillian was still in the shower, and you sat at the bottom of the stairs, feeling sorry for yourself. Your bag sat beside you, and the floorboards creaking behind you caught your attention. You turned and looked up at Cillian, dressed in a lovely blue turtle neck, dress pants, and a grim look on his face.

Begrudgingly, you followed him outside and into the car, then began the drive back in silence.

"You wanna grab some lunch wit' me today?" Cillian asked after about twenty minutes of silence.

"No." You said dryly.

"What? You got plans or somethin'?" Cillian asked with a chuckle. The question felt condescending and rude.

"Because what you said to me earlier really fucking hurt me." You hissed, turning to look at Cillian to see him already looking at you.

"What the fuck are you on about?" He barked back, putting his eyes back on the road and giving you that dry, condescending laugh again.

"You said you didn't want your sister to know about me.... that you didn't want your sister to know about you having a girl over."

"Yeah, and?" Cillian quipped, clearly flustered.

"Is that all I am to you?" You whimpered, trying to keep your composure, trying to seem strong. "Just a girl?" "'Course not, Y/N." He said in a hushed tone.

"Then what the fuck are we?" You raised your voice, a tear slipping down your cheek. "Why can't your sister know about me? About us?"

"B-Because..." He faltered before falling completely silent.

"Why, Cillian?" You cried. "You've met my friends... you've even met my father... for fuck's sake... why can't... why can't I meet your sister and her husband?"

He kept his silence. You could see the tears in his eyes that refused to spill. Those tears were just as stubborn as he was.

"Answer me!" You screamed, tears pouring down your exasperated face. "Say something!"

"Because I'm married!" He screeched back.

That shut you up. You leaned back and just stared at your feet. You felt like you had been winded, like all the air in the car had been sucked out, and you were choking on carbon monoxide. He was married. You sobbed as the shock set in, and Cillian pulled the car over to the side of the road, unbuckling his seatbelt. You fell into a state of despair; your chest felt incredibly heavy, and your brain played a loop of hopeless thoughts.

"Y/N," Cillian said firmly, reaching out and placing a soft hand on your shoulder, which you quickly smacked away. "Y/N... look at me..."

You looked over at him, and you could see him wince at the look on your face. He'd never seen you in so much pain. Never had he seen you look at him so coldly. "What?" You spat. "What is it, Cillian?"

"I... I'm sorry."

"Fuck you," You cried harder, covering your face with your hands and leaning on the dashboard. You cried so hard it felt like you could vomit. You felt like the salty tears were slowly dissolving you away. "Fuck you!" You sobbed.

"Y/N... I am sorry."

"If you were sorry..." You hiccuped, looking back at him with red eyes and tears endlessly slipping down your flustered face. "You never would have... you never would have done this to me... you never would have gotten involved with me!"

Cillian sighed and shook his head, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "I... I stumbled into that cafe one night, and I saw you and... I heard the way you spoke... and the words you said... and I couldn't believe you were real... and things haven't been amazing in my marriage lately... and I haven't seen my wife in months..." He was rationalizing with you... with the infidelity. "I... I've never met anyone like you."

"You lied to me."

"How was I supposed to tell you I was married, Y/N?" Cillian snapped at you, looking at you with fangs barred. "What was I supposed to say to you?"

"You didn't have to say anything," You sobbed. "You shouldn't have invited me to dinner... you shouldn't have even... you shouldn't have ever shown up to those reading sessions... you just shouldn't have gotten involved with me in the first place!"

"My wife doesn't have to know."

"That... doesn't make it any better," You bawled. "You have a woman... back in Ireland fucking waiting for you, and I'm here... thinking I'm falling in love with you while you fuck me over!"

"I'm sorry..." He whispered, defeated. "I'm so sorry."

Silence.

"Do you feel anything for me?" "Of course, I feel something for you, Y/N... you're-"

"Do you love me?" You corrected. "Could you say you truly and honestly love me?" "I..." He looked away at that. You scoffed and shook your head, wiping tears off your face. "I don't... I don't know... I just..." "What the fuck was going to happen between us?" You cried. "How was this going to end? This was always going to end tragically... wasn't it? Wasn't it, Cillian?"

"I didn't... I never thought about how I was going to end things... I go back home in December... filming ends in two weeks... I was going to spend the last few weeks with you..." You scoffed again loudly. "Aww... how sweet! Spend your last few days with your mistress, who's twenty years younger than you... and then fuck off back to Ireland and go be with your loving wife and your... oh god... you have kids, don't you?" "Yes... I..." "Fuck!" You screamed. It wasn't like you to be so angry. You weren't usually this loud. But the pain was just too much, and you needed some way to get the pent-up rage within you out. "So this is it... this is going to be the last time I'll ever see you."

"It doesn't have to be that way, love," Cillian whispered, placing a hand on your arm; this time, you let it stay there. The shame of having him touch you made you sob again. "We could... spend this last month together... we could... cherish what we have while we still have it." "What we have is gone," You replied. "It's gone! It's dead! You killed it! You can't even say you love me."

"What good would that do?" He pushed you further over the edge. "I mean... I could lie and say I love you... I could feed into your fantasies that this... this could last... but it's not..."

Those words 'I could lie and say I love you' echoed over and over again in your head.

"I know that!" You yelped.

There was a pause. The silence hanging heavy in the autumn air and your teardrops falling into your lap where your hands lay curled up. Cillian's thumb rubbed circles into your arm, and you only cried harder.

"Maybe... if we had been closer in age... maybe we would have... maybe we would have been fine." Cillian broke the silence with that banger. The words ringing in your ears, you didn't reply. You didn't utter a word. Those words made you want to die. A minute or two went past. You just ignored him, ignored the way his hand lit your skin on fire, and ignored the way his eyes bore holes into the side of your skull. "Y/N?"

"Take me home." You muttered.

"Y/N..." He whispered.

"Take me the fuck home, Cillian."

And so he did. He pulled out of the parking spot, and you spent the next hour in an agonizing silence. At some point, the tears stopped falling, and the stupidity sunk in. You felt stupid and ashamed. You had told everyone about him, how happy you were, how handsome and funny... and how sweet he was. And now you sat in the car of a man you felt like you didn't know.

"We're here, Y/N."

"Goodbye, Cillian."

"Please don't do this." He begged, you looked at him, and he had tears in his eyes. "Please." You sucked in a breath, his eyes pleaded with you, and you wanted to stay so badly... you wanted to give him one last kiss and say, 'I understand,' but you knew you couldn't. You were too heartbroken. It was going to end one way or another... and it might as well end now.

"Goodbye, Cillian." You said once more before stepping out of the car and walking off into your building. Never looking back to see the broken man in the car, crying just as hard as you did, loving you just as hard as you did him.

Three months went by. There wasn't a day where you didn't think of him. Not a day passed when you yearned for his touch and to feel him hold you again. You thought about dancing with him in the refrigerator light. You thought about his hand on your thigh as you drove upstate. The memories all too real and... all too there.

And tonight, as snow fell outside, you stood at that same podium, reading the poem you wrote for him. You could barely utter the words, your heart catching in your throat as you looked around the room and spoke the words written on the page.

"Just between us, I remember it all too well." You finished, and the room clapped, but the applause didn't matter. Your heart still felt just as broken as it did the day you left him.

And as you descended from the podium, people would pat you on the back and murmur praises for how well-written your poem was and how well-spoken you were. But your eyes were focused on the hazy figure outside the cafe, the silhouette all too familiar.

And it was wearing that same red scarf you had left behind.

And you knew it was him, watching you from afar. Loving you from a distance... remembering it the same way as you did...

All too well.

hope you enjoyed!! Sorry this was all over the place a bit but I really wanted to write something angsty... anyway... there are lots of little easter eggs and references to the song, did you pick them all up? Okay byeee!

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy x reader #cillian x reader #cillian x fem!reader #cillian murphy fanfic #thomas shelby #tommy shelby #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders

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simmerianne93 · 10 months ago

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[Simmerianne93]Fantasy_poses_18

Hi everybody, how are you today?

I've been putting this pack off for a few months, but finally here it is.

The funny thing is that, although it was ready, the reason I couldn't publish it was because I had to take the cover pic... and I was too lazy to have to dress (create) and pose 8 sims... I hate 8 sims poses hahaha it's too much work for the cover xD... Anyway, I think they turned out pretty good.

This pack was initially going to have only 2 poses for 8 sims... but since it took so long to publish it, in the end I decided to make a third round of poses for all 8 sims...

They are not "THE" poses, but I like them and I think they can be quite useful for certain "events"... I leave that to your imagination, but I can think of a few scenarios to use them xP.

And no, I have not based on Joy Boy and Luffy's Awakening to make these poses xD hahaha (for those who know about ONE PIECE and are up to date with the manga) It was a mere coincidence that it looks similar... Initially I was going to publish them in October, along with the simblreen gifts, as part of the "tribal" poses that I was doing back then, but I didn't finish them in time and then I simply postponed them because of what I have already mentioned haha and this here was the reference that I took as a general idea, along with a couple more:

BTW my original idea was to make the pic in Sulani but Chestnut Ridge is SOOO BEAUTIFUL and was the ideal place to recreate what I saw in my head when making them hehe.

In the other hand, I have made an additional "ALL IN ONE" pose which is all the poses from the 1st set, but to use with just one sim, running around the campfire. (Yes, it would be ideal to have several of this type with different variations, but it was crazy so I discarded the idea haha sorry).

But still, I hope you like these poses and find them useful.

Now I leave you with the detailed description of the poses:

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What is on it?

3 Groupal poses for 8 adult sims.

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What do you need?

Andrew's poses player

Teleport any sim by Scumbumbo or Mccc by deaderpool.

OPTIONAL: A campfire.

Instructions in the original post.

——

TOU

Do not claim my creations as your own.

Do not re-upload or modify my creations.

Do not make money of my creations.

Do not include my creations in Mods folders to download.

Please follow my Term Of Use.

——

Download it now here — [Early access until May 19th, 2024]

——————

If you want to support me: Patreon | Ko-fi

All my poses overview: Pinterest | Wix | Tumblr

More in-game preview pics of all my poses: Instagram

My socials: Twitter | BlueSky | Instagram | Tumblr

——————

I really hope you like them and I will say in advance: Thank you so much for using them.

@ts4-poses

#ts4 #poses #simmerianne93 #sims4poses #thesims4 #posesforsims #sims4 #thesims #ts4poses #creator content #fantasyposes #groupalposes #tribalposes #soloposes

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reneesghostinthelivingroom · 4 months ago

Note

Reneé X agender!reader where reader is dating reneé but is friends with Chappell. Reader has BPD and is showing signs that Chappell is necoming their new FP and possible love interest. Eventually Reneé Reader and Chappell become a throuple 🐇

Both? Both.

|| Reneé Rapp x Chappell Roan x agender!reader

|| Warnings; reader has a tough conversation with Reneé, mentions of cheating, reader has bpd but it doesn't come up much, anxiety mentions, small make out scene

|| Summary; after Chappell leaves, reader and Reneé have a difficult talk about where their relationship stands.

Requests open!

Started; october 19th

Finished; october 19th

~~~

It's been about a year since you and Reneé started dating, at some point in the last month or so you've grown close with another singer. Chappell Roan. Who was basically your best friend at this point, if you don't include Reneé in that. At the moment, the three of you were all hanging out together at your's and Reneé's place. Just chilling on the couch and looking at your phones, sharing any funny memes or videos.

You had yourself propped up in a way that your back was rested in Chappell's lap and your legs stretched across Reneé's. Leaving you pretty comfortably placed between the two singers. Reneé was starting to notice how happy you seemed around Chappell, it reminded her of when the two of you were just friends. Leading her to wonder if you were starting to crush on Chappell. She knew you still loved her, but she could tell the other singer was quickly becoming your favourite person. Especially with how you seemed to favour her lap over hers. Reneé glanced down at her phone, taking a mental note to talk about it with you later.

It was pretty late by the time Chappell left, you'd really didn't want her to and practically begged her to stay. But she had an early interview and you knew she needed to rest up for it. Very reluctantly, you let her go. Reneé said her goodbyes to Chappell and when the door closed, she turned to you.

"Hey, can we talk for a moment?" She asked, you nodded though your anxiety definitely spiked a little. Talk usually was never used in a good sense and you didn't think you'd done anything wrong. What was this about? Reneé took your hand and lead you over to the couch, sitting down with you. With her hand in your hand." So... Chappell." She paused for a moment, trying to think of the words to say because she knew you weren't cheating or anything. She really didn't want it to sound like she was accusing you of anything.

"What about Chappell?" You asked, a little confused about what this was about. Did she think you were cheating? Was your crush on Chappell that obvious?

"Do you have a crush on her? It's okay to be honest, I'm not mad." Reneé added, really trying to get her point across that she wasn't upset with you. She just wanted to know the truth. Apparently your crush had been obvious.

What do you say? Do you tell her? If you do, would she end things with you? You really didn't want things to be over with. Getting to love Reneé has been one of the best parts of your life. But lately... Chappell has too. You wished emotions didn't have to be so complicated. That relationships weren't black and white; do you love me or not? You hadn't realized how long you'd been quiet, but Reneé had.

"You do." She sighed, fidgeting with her rings as her hands rested in her lap. Your silence told her what she needed to know. A frown tugged on the corner of her lips.

"Please don't take it personally." You pleaded, trying to explain yourself and the complex of your emotions." I love you. So so much. And I don't want us to be over." That's when you remembered something and you felt yourself relax just a little. Knowing that you could have both," can I ask something? Promise you'll keep an open mind?"

Reneé looked into your eyes, studying you. She saw the love you had for her and knew you were genuine, which did made her relax just a bit." Yeah.. yeah, I'm listening."

"Do you think- we could have an open relationship? You, me and Chappell?" You felt yourself tense again as the words left your mouth.

Reneé was quiet for a long moment, thinking it over in her head. On one hand, she wouldn't lose you. On the other, she'd have to share. She wasn't good at that. However she also couldn't say no to you and Chappell was good to you. Reneé knew she wouldn't hurt you. Maybe they could give it a try. Worth a shot, at least.

"We could give it a try.. if that's what you really want." When Reneé agreed, your smile widened and you kissed her deeply. Pulling her into her lap. She easily followed, kissing you right back. Your lips moved against hers as you gently pushed her down onto the couch, straddling her hips as your hand goes to her side. Giving a small squeeze to get a little moan out of Reneé.

The following day, you and Reneé had a chat with Chappell. Seeing where she stood on the idea of a poly relationship with them. She admitted to having a crush on you, but being too nervous to do anything about it. Given that you were already in a relationship and all. So she was pretty happy about this turn of events and agreed easily to it. That's how you'd started dating two famous music stars. Did you ever think your life would go this way? Nope. But yet here you were. Practically living out a fantasy.

#fanfic #x reader #canon x reader #agender reader #agender #renee rapp x reader #renee x reader #renee x chappell x reader #renee x chappell #renee rapp x chappell roan x reader #chappell x you #chappell x reader #chappell roan #renee rapp #renee rapp fanfic #chappell roan fanfic #queer fanfic #little agnst #comfort

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huellitaa · 2 months ago

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bee's record player: '24 complete 🎧🎀💬

welcome back to the final edition of bee's record player in 2024! 🎀🎧💭👛🐈‍⬛️✨️

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 notice!

bee's record player will be undergoing a large format change in 2025! this issue is a preview for the next version, so enjoy...💭🐈‍⬛️

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 disclaimer

bee's record player is a simple project i enjoy writing every month and is in no way final or official. these are all my thoughts, opinions and insights that i have compiled together and are by no means definitive or final. take everything with a pinch of salt. enjoy! ♡

🎀🎧 ྀི𓂃 ࣪˖ ALBUMS OF 2024

꒰ა 🐈‍⬛️✨️ a semi-exhaustive list of all the albums released this year: ...♡

and now, in no particular order...

BRAT, charli xcx 👛𓂃 ࣪˖

released june 7th

best songs: von dutch, apple,

running time: 41 minutes 23 seconds

i genuinely think this is the most iconic album of 2024. it was such a massive thing and brat summer was so huge. we love u charli youre an icon 4ever

eternal sunshine, ariana grande 💬𓂃 ࣪˖

released march 8th

best songs: eternal sunshine, supernatural, yes, and?, the boy is mine

running time: 35 minutes 26 seconds

might be biased here cuz ive loved ari since i was little but this was my favourite release this year! id waited for so long and she did not disappoint 💕✨️

tomorrow, tomorrow x together 🍬𓂃 ࣪˖

released april 1st

best songs: deja vu, miracle, the killa

running time: 17 minutes 2 seconds

my comfort album of this year 🫶🏻🧸

short n sweet, sabrina carpenter 🧁𓂃 ࣪˖

released august 23rd

best songs: espresso, please please please, juno, good graces, dont smile

running time: 36 minutes 15 seconds

THE iconic summer '24 staple ✨️🩷

this is how tomorrow moves, beabadoobee 🐈‍⬛️ 𓂃 ࣪˖

released august 9th

best songs: take a bite, real man, california, post,

running time: 41 minutes 23 seconds

charm, clairo 👛𓂃 ࣪˖

released july 12th

best songs: juna, sexy to someone, glory of the snow

running time: 38 minutes 2 seconds

HIT ME HARD AND SOFT, billie eillish ⭐️𓂃 ࣪˖

released may 17th

best songs: birds of a feather, lunch, l'amour de ma vie, chihiro, wildflower

running time: 43 minutes 45 seconds

MEGAN, megan thee stallion 🎀𓂃 ࣪˖

released june 28th

best songs: BOA, otaku hot girl, worthy, where them girls at, spin ft. victoria monet

running time: 52 minutes

strategy, twice 🧁𓂃 ࣪˖

released december 6th

best songs: strategy ft. megan thee stallion, kiss my troubles away

running time: 20 minutes 47 seconds

ATE, stray kids 💭𓂃 ࣪˖

released july 19th

best songs: chk chk boom, mountains

running time: 23 minutes 21 seconds

sanctuary, tomorrow x together 👛𓂃 ࣪˖

released november 4th

best songs: heaven, over the moon, danger, forty one winks, resist, higher than heaven

running time: 14 minutes 52 seconds

from zero, linkin park 🧸𓂃 ࣪˖

released november 15th

best songs: the emptiness machine, good things go, from zero (intro)

running time: 31 minutes 54 seconds

CHROMAKOPIA, tyler, the creator 💭𓂃 ࣪˖

released october 28th

best songs: darling, i, like him, st chroma, rah tah tah, tomorrow

running time: 52 minutes 54 seconds

🎀🎧 ྀི𓂃 ࣪˖ 2024 MUSIC CROWNS

best artists 💬𓂃 ࣪˖

charli xcx

♡ charli xcx, of course!! she has been an absolute icon this year with brat and all the remixes and collaborations and such, brat blew up so much and is THE most iconic album of 2024 and so of course the creator of this masterpiece had to be on here too! 🩷

sabrina carpenter

♡ sabrina carpenter has been the pop princess of 2024 and her success is growing every single day. i've only been listening since emails i cant send but she has blown up so much it shocks me. espresso was a global hit and with the ongoing short n' sweet tour i think she's only going to get bigger. love u brina 💭

chappell roan

♡ chappell roan. though the only thing she released this year was good luck, babe, which was still an absolutely huge success, she has been SO iconic throughout the entirety of 2024, with all her performances and appearances, along with her tour and the success of hot to go in the summer. shes too iconic not to put up here ♡

kendrick lamar

♡ okay i don't even LISTEN to kendrick lamar and yet i KEPT hearing about him CONSTANTLY this year. his music kinda goes hard actually and that whole thing w drake as well?? honestly though hes not on my playlist i definitely think the world has heard too much about him for him not to make it up here 💬

tyler, the creator

♡ tyler the creator i feel like also deserves a mention in this list. i also kept hearing so much about him and his music is genuinely so good. chromakopia was such a massive success and all of his albums are so incredibly complex and enjoyable it would be a crime not to put him up here ♡

honourable mention 🧸𓂃 ࣪˖

though there wasn't a place for her on the leaderboard, i definitely feel ariana grande deserves a special mention, with the success of eternal sunshine and the part she played in the success of wicked in november. we love u ari ♡

best albums 🐈‍⬛️𓂃 ࣪˖ (IN ORDER)

BRAT, charli xcx

HIT ME HARD AND SOFT, billie eillish

short n' sweet, sabrina carpenter

eternal sunshine, ariana grande

cowboy carter, beyonce

songs of a lost world, the cure

best k-pop 👛𓂃 ࣪˖

i feel like kpop deserves its own little section because its so different to western music in the way of management and music output. and the winner of said section for this year has to be stray kids. with ATE in july and their new album in december, they have been touring and collaborating and going all out this year. i am more of a casual listener these days but i have not been able to stop hearing about them. they are so iconic every year but this year i cant think of anyone that tops them in all honesty 🩷✨️♡

🎀🎧 ྀི𓂃 ࣪˖ 2024 MUSIC SUMMARY

2024 was a very much pop-oriented year in the world of music, and with hyperpop being surprisingly the top genre, many conflicts were started and many bangers were made. though i can't say its been a legendary musical year, its definitely been a memorable one, and i feel next year will only continue that and take it even further. i look forward to seeing what 2025 brings for us in the music scene, and i hope you all have a beautiful new year, inside and outside of music 💬🩷🫶🏻🎀🎧⭐️

🎀🗒 note: you can see my personal music favourites from this year in this post here! ♡)

all my love, and happy 2♡25! 🎆🎀🫶🏻🩷🐈‍⬛️

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cissyenthusiast010155 · 1 year ago

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Mommy Kink with Mon Mothma ~Kinktober 2023

Happy October 19th!!! It’s almost three week of Kinktober! 🤍🎃 The kink of the day is a Mommy Kink. This kink will be partnering with the marvelous Senator/Chancellor Mon Mothma. Hope you Enjoy!! 🖤🪐

Previous Day <—found here!

Kinktober 2023 <—Here!!

Mommy… Master List

Requests & Prompt-List

Warnings: NSFW, 18!!, smut, mommy kink, vibrator use, fingering, light humping, teasing, pet names, light overstimulation, light orgasm denial, implied future smut, etc.

Enjoy (;

“Mommy please… it hurts…” you whimpered desperately as the toy ruthlessly vibrated against your clit.

The woman chuckled lightly in amusement, and she shook her head.

“No, sweet girl… You can take it.” Mon cooed, insistent in her stance.

You whimpered and whined lightly in response.

“Yes mommy…” you breathily whimpered in defeat, continuing to let the toy absolutely ravish your folds.

You sat over the woman’s lap, you ass in the air, as the vibrator placed in your folds went ham on your aching sex. Your legs twitched as you hung on top of Mon’s legs. The woman caressed your ass with one hand, trying to soothe your shaking, as she worked at her desk.

You whimpered and whined throughout the whole process. But the woman was quick and stern to silence you.

“Shhhh, Mommy needs to work…” Mon reminded you, “And she cannot focus if her Baby is whimpering every other second.”

You bit your lip and nodded.

“Sorry mommy…” you whispered, your head going down in shame of disappointing the woman.

“Good… Be good for mommy for twenty more minutes, and then she’ll be finished with her work.” Mon hummed.

You nodded again, this time with more enthusiasm.

“Yes Mommy…!”

The twenty minutes seemed to be that of the longest twenty minutes of your life. You squirmed in pain as you desperately tried to stave off any possibility of your orgasm, as Mon had said that you weren’t allowed to cum. Finally, you breathed a sigh of relief, when you heard her putting away all of her papers.

The woman then picked you up and placed you in her lap. Her fingers went in your pants and past your knickers, slipping with ease into your throbbing cunt. Your eyes rolled back and your hips eagerly bucked into Mon’s lap. Your arms flew to her shoulders for support, as two of her digits curled inside you.

“Oh Mommy Yessssss…!!” You hissed in delight.

Mon chuckled at your response.

“You were good for Mommy…” she hummed, “So I thought you deserved a reward”

You nodded eagerly.

You couldn’t agree more…

~~~

Next Day <—Uniform Kink!!

Mon Mothma Masterlist

Kinktober 2023 Masterlist

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tbhk-twt-events · 7 days ago

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Kamome Monster Nursery S1 Pt. 1

October 17th, 2020 -> October 31st, 2020

Translations and images from the Jibaku-Shounen Hanako-Kun Wiki page and AidaIro's Twitter. These translations in particular were done by @mokketastic on Twitter!

Part 1 | Part 2

Icon

Banner

October 17th

Narrator:

"This is a fun paradise for monster eggs, aptly named Kamome Monster Nursery! The researchers strive hard day and night to raise monsters. From today, you are the nursery's HR manager, so do support the researchers. All for the sake of raising fine monsters for Halloween–!"

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"Good evening, manager, and welcome to Kamome Monster Nursery. I am Researcher S, and will be your assistant. Pleasure to meet you. This may be a little sudden, but this year's eggs and researchers will be introduced starting tomorrow, so please use this as a reference for business matters from now on. I look forward to the strength of your instincts and your fate."

Original Tweet

October 18th

Researcher S

"Ah, there you are, manager. I look forward to working with you tonight. Well, as I mentioned the other day, let's do the researcher introductions tonight. Now then, the researchers should all be somewhere in the nursery, so…" Nap Room — 40.2% Cafeteria — 18.2% >>> Library — 41.7% 6,382 votes

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"The library, then. It's the pride of our nursery, with a large collection from picture books to research texts. Not only useful for newly-hatched monsters, but also researchers and grown monsters. By the way, the one making a tower of books over there is…"

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"Manager, that is Researcher T. D-don't get too close… please make sure you maintain a certain distance. It's for your own good."

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"Well, Researcher T is a valuable contributor who made a 100 million MP (monster point) profit for our nursery last year, and also the prime culprit behind the closure of Kamome Monster Kindergarten in the year before that. The monster he's raised will surely become the talk of the town. For better or worse, that is."

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"Over here, Manager, before Researcher T notices us. Oh, is it this late already? I must get back to my research, too… Well then, I look forward to working with you again tomorrow."

Original Tweet

October 19th

Researcher S

"Good evening, manager, I have been awaiting you. Where shall we go tonight?" Cafeteria — 43.2% >>>Nap Room — 56.8% 6,534 votes

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"Are you perhaps tired, manager? If so, then let me first show you to the break room. Maybe have some coffee as you take your time to decide today's destination. Oh, that over there is…"

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"Manager, that's a cushion that's now popular in the research institute. It's very comfortable, and popular with the young monsters too. How about having one for your residence as well? It's made-on-order, up to 28 Oct before Halloween, so do decide early."

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"The nap room it is, then. Our nursery does have attached staff dorms, but there are many who are so devoted to their work that they stay overnight, so we try various ways of making the nap room more comfortable. Like the recent introduction of HMM (healing monster music) and such… Well, it looks like someone's sleeping there now, too."

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"Manager, this is Researcher K. He seems to be sleeping, so perhaps it's better not to wake him up. That said, he's by far the most good-natured even among the researchers, so it's not dangerous anyway. His regular data is over here."

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"Due to that good nature, Researcher K hasn't been involved in egg cultivation until now. Until the year before last, it was the trend that the more vicious a monster, the better, you see. But from now on, it's the era of diversity. I also look forward to seeing what kind of things the monster he's raising will do."

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"Manager, manager… Are you okay? You seem very sleepy. Oh, the HMM must be working. Do return for the day and have a good rest. I forgot to place an order for that cushion, so I must go do that now. Well, I look forward to working with you again tomorrow."

Original Tweet

October 20th

Researcher S

"Good evening, manager. You're punctual today too, how excellent. Well then, let me show you to the cafeteria today. Our nursery's cafeteria also puts great effort into developing meals that will be delicious to both monsters and researchers. Have you already had dinner? Coincidentally enough, the researcher I was intending to introduce also seems to be eating BMM (bad monster meal), so how about you also have that together, manager?"

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"Manager, this is Researcher A. He's also the elder twin of Researcher T. They have the same face, but he's very serious, and submits very readable reports as a researcher despite somewhat poor handwriting. His performance is consistent, which also helps. Just between you and me… It seems that the monsters that he's raised often gain a strange dual nature. For the time being, he's a model student. So long as he doesn't take too great of a risk, it's fine."

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"Oh, we seem to have a little extra time today. What shall we do then, manager?" I'm going straight home — 9.7% >>>I want to know more about you — 51.9% I want to meet a grown monster — 38.4% 5,389 votes

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"About me? I am Researcher S, your assistant. Do you need to know more than that? To better perform our duties… ah, I see. What shall I answer, then. About my hobby, you ask? My hobby. Hmm… ……the calculation of profits, perhaps. It's pleasant work."

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"Well, it's about time to end for the day too. Tomorrow, the eggs will finally be introduced, and I will also entrust you with one important task. Do get plenty of rest and nourishment, and let us meet again tomorrow night."

Original Tweet

October 21st

Researcher S

"Good evening, manager. As mentioned yesterday, today will finally be the egg introduction and an important task for you. Without further ado, let me show you to the egg storage room."

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"Please take a look, these three are our monster eggs for this year. I can sense chaos from Egg M, strength from Egg 8, and desperation from Egg 3. Each and every one embodies such great potential, do they not, manager?"

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"…well, let me now give you this very crucial task. Yes. As is traditional, manager, I would like you to assign the staff members who will be in charge of the eggs. The staff in charge of egg cultivation will be the three I have introduced over these few days. So step over here, manager."

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"What do you think, manager? It's the ancient and honorable form of MA (monster amidakuji). Beautiful, isn't it. Well then – with your instincts and fate, manager, please divine the best combination, and decide the assignment of the eggs."

Amidakuji

SECRET Researcher K | Researcher A | Researcher T

Original Tweet

Narrator

★ Decide the assignment of the eggs! ★ (Starting from the egg with the highest votes, it will be assigned to left, centre, and right.) M — 35.4% >>>8 — 46.3% 3 — 18.3% 4,566 votes

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"I see, so that's how you've chosen, manager. And this is how the result has turned out. A combination we couldn't have chosen ourselves – impressive, manager."

8 -> T M -> K 3 -> A

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"Oh, it's gotten late. Time sure flies by. You must be tired after fulfilling such a big role today, manager. Do have a warm rest. I'll contact you at once if any monster is born from the eggs. Let's keep working together to make this a better Halloween."

Original Tweet

October 22nd

Researcher S

"The manager is on leave today. I'd better go check the equipment. Oh, what's this…"

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"……ah, what a nostalgic photograph. I'll show it to the manager one of these days, too."

Original Tweet

October 24th

Researcher S

"Thank you for coming even on such short notice today, manager. I wanted to let you know as soon as possible, you see."

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"Yes, it's as you see, manager. Finally, the hatching of this year's Halloween monster eggs is here. Do come over here, I'll show you to where they are."

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"Here is the monster egg Researcher T was raising. This monster seems to have a strong interest in the outside world. Already reflecting the researcher's personality, perhaps? Her hidden strength is very fascinating, too, isn't it."

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"Here is the monster egg Researcher K was raising. Look at this brightness of its eyes and beauty of form, how uncharacteristic of a monster. So unpredicted, it's amazing."

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"Here is the monster egg Researcher A was raising. Well, how energetic he is. Rather motivated, isn't he. To think that he's menacing us even now, he does have a promising future. I wonder what kind of monster will become."

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"This concludes what I wanted to report, that these 3 monster eggs have safely hatched. Let's keep watching over their growth from now on, too. I look forward to our continued cooperation, manager."

Original Tweet

October 25th

Researcher S

"Good evening, manager. Today, in celebration of the eggs hatching, last year's most outstanding grown monster and MS (monster disaster) countermeasure department manager has come. Everyone, do grow up big and healthy like them."

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"Here's a look at Researcher T caring for the infant. He's always tensely observing the monsters with great interest. How does he plan to stop the crying, I wonder…"

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"Manager, the facility has been half-destroyed. The monster has cheered up now."

Original Tweet

October 26th

Researcher S

"Good evening, manager. Today, do allow this new staff in training accompany you.

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"Yes. Depending on the monster, there's been instances like this where they work at the research institute after growing up. Rest assured. She's a monster of few words, but very bright, and… ……Ah, just do be careful not to step on her tail, that's all."

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"Here's a look at Researcher K caring for the infant. He always pays attention to the monster's condition, and takes great care of them; it gives a good sense of security, doesn't it. What is that bar, though…?"

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"I see, so it's for the monster's strength training. Ah, no thank you, Researcher K. I'll pass."

Original Tweet

October 27th

Researcher S

"Here's a look at Researcher A caring for the infant. He appears rather busy with work. Maybe because he puts great effort into an intellectual upbringing, he seems to be able to raise monsters of the highest intellect, who can read even difficult books."

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"Sometimes, other researchers also help to look after them instead when the researcher-in-charge is very busy."

Original Tweet

Researcher S

"Researcher A seems very busy. Oh, is that… the drawing of him that the monster gave him the other day? Looks like he's displayed it in a place of pride. I'll make sure to tell the monster later, too."

Original Tweet

TO PART 2

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theunholybastard · 4 months ago

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Kinktober: October 19th - Quickie (Papa Emeritus III x Gender-Neutral!Reader)

Hi, lovelies! 👋 Sorry I didn't upload yesterday, I've been ill and it's been making it extremely hard for me to concentrate on writing :( I'm uploading yesterdays and todays kinktober stories to make up for it, I should be back on schedule soon <3

Tags: Quickie, Established Relationship, Semi-Public Blowjobs, Throat-Fucking, Cum Swallowing, 1st Person POV

"C'mon, mi amore, give me something..." Terzo pleaded quietly with me, voice low to avoid anyone else from hearing. We were in his dressing room to avoid the watchful eyes of the backstage crew and his Ghouls, but the walls were still thin, and he was supposed to be on stage soon. This was not the time nor the place to be rock hard, yet here he was. Rock hard. "I cannot go out on stage like this! I might smack someone from the front row in the face with it if I am not careful! I could take someone's eye out!"

"I think you overestimate the size of your dick, Papa."

"I most certainly do not."

"I can assure you that your penis does not extend the several feet needed for it to hit someone in the crowd."

"We're getting off topic!" He groans frustratedly. "It's still very obvious, no?" He gestured downwards to his crotch. He was right about that one, the tent in his pants stood tall and proud, twitching excitedly. Anyone would see it very clearly if he walked on like that. And as lewd as he liked to be during rituals, he still wanted to leave some stuff up to the imagination.

"Please tesoro, help me out. You don't want thousands of horny fans to catch a glimpse of what rightfully belongs to you, do you...?" He purrs, dipping his face in the crook of my neck, playing up the seduction in hopes I will be entranced and powerless against his charm. "There's not enough time." I grumble, frantically looking at the time on my watch.

"I'll make it quick." Terzo promises, holding my hands earnestly. "We may not have enough time to make you feel good, and that I am deeply apologetic for. But I promise to make it up to you after the show. Just help me out this once, please." I click my tongue, defeated. He always gets what he wants with that mouth of his. "What do you need me to do, Papa?"

Terzo sighs in relief, swiftly unbuckling his belt, dropping trow right there. "Will you suck your Papa off, amore?" He quirks an eyebrow. What choice do I have? The poor guy looks like he's going to burst, I can't have him walking out in front of a crowd like this, his mom is in the audience tonight for Hells sake! I drop to my knees, prepping him with some spit in my palm, working him with my hand as I relax my throat. A soft whine escapes him.

"So it's just like that, Papa? No romantic banter, no sweet kisses, no words of encouragement?" I tease, taking the tip in my mouth and working my way down south. He hisses pleasurably. "L-like I said. Not enough time. I will provide you all of that and more when I have you in my bed tonight, tesoro mio. I'll m-make you scream for me..." He thrusts weakly into my mouth, hitting the back of my throat with a gag. Normally he's more of a gentleman when receiving head, but in this moment of desperation, it seems it's more convenient to operate at his ideal pace.

I give him the go to use my mouth, whatever way makes him cum the quickest. I blink back the tears from the forceful thrusts, retching no matter how much I try to loosen up my throat. "Cazzo, your mouth feels so good. So wet n' fucking t-tight... I always cum so fast from this, y'know? You always do so incredible for me."

I swirl my tongue around his length to further stimulate him, pulling a deep growl from the back of his throat, reverberating in his chest. The heaviness of his cock always feels so good in my mouth, like it was made to be here. Delicious beads of pre-cum start dripping from his tip, that I lick up greedily. I just know people can hear us from the other side of the door. His hips buck faster.

People are yelling for him outside. The shows about to start. But he can't stop now, he won't, he's in the zone. He's so close, using every ounce of concentration he holds in that little body of his to work towards his goal, to reach the precipice. The fans are cheering, I can hear them, they're expecting him. That seems to encourage him further, a cheeky grin forming as he tilts his head back against the door to listen to the distant screams. This self absorbed mother fucker.

He grips my hair tightly, yanking me down one last time as he releases, seed spilling down my throat and filling my stomach as I swallow all the warmth diligently. He pulls me off when the shock waves die off, panting. I stuff his softening cock back in his pants, adjusting the buttons and belt while he fixes his hair. He notices a few greys, missing a spot from the last box dye session. He curses to himself and hopes no one notices. It's too late to fix it now.

Helping me back up, and pressing one last kiss to my cheek, he waves himself off, exiting the dressing room and rushing on stage. Nobody questions why he was late, especially since everyone could see the little droplet of leftover cum in the corner of my mouth that I forgot to wipe off. I watch him perform, giving it his all, and I can't help but feel a sense of pride. Another successful show, saved by yours truly.

#the band ghost #ghost band #ghost bc #ghost band smut #ghost band fanfic #papa emeritus smut #papa emertius #papa emeritus iii #papa emeritus iii x reader #papa emeritus iii smut #papa emeritus iii x reader smut #papa terzo #terzo emeritus #terzo x reader #papa terzo smut #ghost kinktober #kinktober 2024

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bugisbonkerz · 9 months ago

Text

📢‼️UPDATE ON THE DHMIS REANIMATION COLLAB‼️📢

Hello! on October 4th 2023, i announced i was hosting a DHMIS reanimation collab. And thankfully, every part got taken.

but unfortunately, half of the people taking the parts didn’t get back to me (possibly forgot, decided not to, lost contact etc). exactly half of the parts were animated, but half of it is still unfinished. that’s why i’m making an announcement that 9 MORE PARTS ARE NOW AVAILABLE! (as of now.) please check my pinned post immediately for info and which parts are available if you are interested! i plan on getting this done on or around JUNE 19th!

There’s also discord for people who are joining! the link i currently have doesn’t work so please ask @mtsodie for the discord. i would also like to thank him for helping me with the collab :]

REMEMBER!

-please keep in contact with me if you are accepted! (in my DMs)

-only ask to join if you know you can get your part done near june 19th

-check the pinned post for updates on which parts are and aren’t available

-and obviously, only ask to join if you can animate.

-make sure your animation lines up with the time and audio of your part.

-when you’re finished with your part , email it to [email protected]

THATS ALL FOR NOW! remember to reblog :o] I’ll see you soon! 🏠

#yeah guys i’m really tired haha #sorry if this is too much i just wanted to get most things clear.#really excited about this still! i thought it’d be better to have a deadline #not sure what to say here. should probably start putting normal tags #dhmis reanimation collab #animation collab #reanimation collab #dhmis #don’t hug me i’m scared #dhmis yellow guy #red guy #duck dhmis #animation #animators #☎️

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piers-official · 9 months ago

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ANNOUNCEMENT:

Tha's right I'm GOIN' ON TOUR! I'll be travelin' from Galar all the way to Unova, alongside everyone's favorite poison punk: @rockstar-roxie! He'll be openin' up for all my Unovan dates, so don't ya dare miss it!

Carnival Tour Dates:

GALAR: ⭐Spikemuth gym- May 17th ⭐Hammerlocke Stadium- May 18th and 19th ⭐Motostoke Stadium- May 21st and 22nd ⭐Ballonlea Stadium - May 23rd ⭐Circhester Stadium - May 24th ⭐Wyndon Stadium - May 25th and 26th ⭐Spikemuth Gym - May 27th

UNOVA: ⭐Virbank Gym - May 31st ⭐Castelia City Stadium - June 1st and 2nd ⭐Nimbasa Big Stadium - June 3rd and 4th ⭐Driftveil Court - June 5th ⭐Oplucid Stadium - June 6th and 7th ⭐Nacrene Warehouse Court - June 10th ⭐Virbank Gym - June 11th

((OOC under the cut))

//Hello everyone! Mun Nova here to give you all a little more insight into this:

//Much like the tour Piers was on with Roxie back in October/November, I will be doing a similar story arc

//THIS IS NOT AN EVENT! This means that I will not be accepting or participating in any spontaneous roleplays with people I don’t know as many people do for “PKMN IRL events”.

//Please feel free to make posts about the tour and act like you’re there on the dates stated above, BUT as someone who suffers from anxiety, I won’t be able, to respond to every post made about the tour. However do not let this discourage you from participating. Anyone is welcome to join~

//I will do my best to stay on top of things, so please have patience if I don't post on a specific date listed above as I do have work and my mental health to take care of.

//If you do make a post relating to this please tag it as #Piers's Carnival Tour so I can see it!

//If you have any ooc or ic questions, please send them my way!

//And as always, thank you @ripoff-robbie-rotten for all the help with everything. You're amazing friendo, and ilu <333 /plat

((Also I did make alt text for the image above, but I'm not sure if it's good or not. Please let me know if I need to fix it~))

#pokemon #piers posts #pkmn rp #piers rp #roxie rp #Piers's Carnival Tour #rotomblr #pokeblr #pokeblogging #colored text

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walkingintheheartbreaksatellite · 2 years ago

Note

Hiiiii there! I really liked your Meltdown one shot! It made me think about Save My Life and if you wanted could you write something about that song? I had an idea but you don't have to do it. But what if Niall is having a hard time after 1D break up and when he meets y/n she basically gives him the motivation and encouragement to write his own songs and have a solo career?? Only if you want to do that or even write it.

Thank you so much lovely!!! That means so much!!!🥹 I hope this is everything you hoped for! I do try when writing for this precious baby.

Save My Life

Niall Horan x Reader

Summary- Niall was depressed. He was lacking motivation and he wasn’t sure what to do anymore. But one day, he meets someone who just might save him.

(Wrote this in Niall’s pov so I hope it’s okay!)

Niall’s POV

January 2016, London

It had been a long couple months since we agreed to take a hiatus, and the boys all got to work on their own thing. But me? I don’t even know where to start… It came so easy to me before and now? I can’t even think.

I decided to get out for a bit, and visit a new pub Harry had been telling me about. I decide to take a walk there, needing the fresh air after being trapped inside in an attempt to write.

I enter the almost empty pub and I’m greeted by the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. She smiles at me and my stomach fills with butterflies, something that hasn’t happened in a very long time.

“Hey! What can I get for you?”

I smile and take a seat across from her at the bar.

“Just a pint of Guinness, please.”

She smiles and makes it quickly before she slides it over to me.

“Would you like to start a tab?”

I think about it for a second before nodding.

“Yeah I think so. But shouldn’t you check my ID?”

She giggles and shakes her head before giving me a smile.

“No need. I know who you are, Niall. I know you’re old enough. But not like in a bad way because you’re not old-I mean not that I have a problem with older people but…Sorry I’m just rambling now.”

I laugh and shake my head.

“No worries. I appreciate it. What was your name? I don’t think I caught it.”

She smiles and her eyes glow in the light.

“That would be because I never gave it to you. It’s Y/N.”

I tilt a pretend hat and she lets out another beautiful laugh.

“So what’s a girl like you doing working here, Y/N?”

She dries another glass as she looks back at me.

“Just putting myself through school. Going to school overseas isn’t cheap and I’ve got aspirations in life. What about you, Mr. Pop star? Surely you’ve got plenty going on but yet you’re in a bar by yourself on a Wednesday night.”

I let out a sigh and I grip my glass with both hands.

“I guess it’s just been hard since the band went on hiatus. The boys are starting to all branch out and do their own things and I… don’t know. I’ve got so much pent up creativity and no idea how to get it out.”

She nods and puts her rag down before she leans on her elbows and looks at me.

“So you’re in a creative funk and you’re unsure if you can actually do it? Here’s my advice. Don’t compare yourself to others. You’re your own person, Niall. Not Harry, not Louis, you’re Niall. And that is enough. Do what feels right.”

I smile a little and nod.

“Are you in school to be a therapist, Y/N? You’d make a great one.”

She laughs and shakes her head.

“Actually, I want to be a writer. But for now, bartending keeps a roof over my head. I’m glad to be of help though. Got some inspiration ?”

I nod with a big smile. I finish my drink and slide a few pounds to her.

“Thanks Y/N. I think I should get to it before I lose the lightbulb!”

She nods and waves. Her smile is the last thing I see before I turn my back to her and I’m out the door, heading home.

October 19th, 2017

I storm into the pub, as usual, but this time, I’m not as calm as I usually am.

“Y/N! Y/N, you have to help me! I’m freaking out!”

She raises a brow and sets down her rag as I walk up to the counter.

“Niall? What’s wrong? Why do you look so upset? Shouldn’t you be getting ready for your listening party?”

I shake my head and place my hands on the counter,

“I can’t. I’m freaking out! They’re gonna hate it! I’m gonna fail and it’s-.”

She places her hands on my shoulders and it grabs my attention.

“Calm down. You’re gonna do great! Your music is so unique, Niall. No one could be like you. You are one of a kind, Niall Horan. Your fans are going to love your album just as much as they love you. So don’t worry, okay? It’ll be great.”

I let out a sigh and I give her a small smile.

“Would you… Would you come with me? I- I really want you to be there…”

Her eyes widen and her mouth drops.

“A-Are you sure? I don’t want to impose-.”

I smile and shake my head.

“I want you there, Y/N. You’re my friend. Of course I want you there!”

She sighs and I smile, pulling her around the pub and out the door before she can argue.

>>>———————->

August 2018

I’m finally home from tour, or at least back in London, and the first place I go is the pub. As soon as I walk in, Y/N’s eyes train on me immediately. Her eyes light up and she runs through the empty room and pounces on me, hugging me tight.

“Niall! Oh my god! You’re back!”

I smile and nod, hugging her right before pulling away.

“I missed you, Y/N. I really did. Talking on the phone wasn’t enough…”

She looks at me confused and I let out a sigh.

“Y/N… I have feelings for you. I’ve never felt this way before… With anyone. I-I think I love you. A-And I understand if you don’t feel the same but-.”

Before I can say anything else, she cuts me off and surprised me with a kiss. I melt into her touch, pulling her closer to me as our lips move in sync until she finally pulls away with a smile.

“I love you, Niall. I feel the exact same.”

I hug her tight and hold her close, afraid to let go.

>>>——————->

March 22nd, 2020

I hear the front door open as I slump on the couch in the living room of my London home. Y/N comes in, a worried expression on her face.

“Niall…”

I hold my arms open to her and she climbs in my lap, laying her head on my chest. She lays her legs across my lap and I instinctively wrap my arms around her.

“They had to let me go… A-And your album! You were gonna tour with Lewis! A-And now-.”

I let out a small fry as I hold her close, running my fingers through her hair.

“I-I know, Petal. But it’ll be okay… I hope… You’ll move in with me. We’ll quarantine together. That way you can focus on school and you won’t have to look for another job. Okay? Does… Does that sound okay?”

She’s quiet for a minute before she nods against my chest. Things were rough, but at least I had her.

>>>——————->

June 2020

I sit at the piano, agonizingly as I attempt to be productive. Quiet patter of feet echos through the house until I feel someone sit next to me on the bench. Y/N. I turn my attention to her and she runs her fingers through my hair.

“You okay? I could hear you dropping f bombs all the way from our room.”

I sigh and shake my head.

“I-I’m frustrated, Y/N. I’m tired of this… I didn’t get to tour and I just- I don’t know… The most I can do is go live on Instagram… that’s not exactly a concert…”

She kisses my cheek and I sigh again.

“You’ll be able to put in your show, I promise. You’re doing what you can right now and that’s all we can do, babe. It’ll come to you. But you don’t have to do it alone. I’ll be here. Every step.”

I smile and peck her lips.

“I think you saved my life, Y/N. And you do every day.”

She pecks my lips a few times and loops an arm through mine.

“And you saved mine.”

The next day

I find myself back at the piano and for the first time since lockdown started… I feel inspired. Extremely inspired. I want to write a show.

>>>————————->

January 2023

“Please Niall? You said you finished it! I want to listen! I love your music! You know I do!”

I laugh and shake my head as Y/N clings to me with a pout.

“I’m sorry Petal, but I can’t do that. You’ll just have to wait like everyone else.”

She puts more and lets me go, folding her arms across her chest as she slumps on our bed.

“I should write a column on boyfriends keeping secrets from their girlfriends. I’ll get a lot of hits since YOU’RE KEEPING IT A SECRET FROM ME.”

I laugh and shake my head as I take my place next to her on the bed, taking her hand in mine.

“I promise, it will be worth the wait. Can you do that for me, Y/N? Just hold on a little longer. 5 months then it’s all yours.”

She sighs and squeezes my hand, giving me a small smile.

>>>———————->

June 9th, 2023

“Niall, please? It’s the release day! I just want to listen to it! I’ve only heard the bits you’ve teased!”

I laugh and shake my head, taking a seat next to her on the couch as I pull an AirPod out of the case and I place it in her ear.

“You can listen but I want you to listen to this one first. This album… I’m so proud of this one. This is everything I’ve ever wanted to make. And it’s all thanks to you. This is save my life.”

I hit play on my phone and she smiles as it begins to play.

Eyes are bloomin'

The floor is shakin'

Walls are movin'

Feelings changin' now

So, I'm rolling through it

Like I'm floatin' ten feet above the ground

As you float up to me

I just gotta tell you now

Ever since you walked in

I'm seein' a new light

Ever since you walked in

It's startin' to feel like

You might save my life

She tears up as she listens and before it’s over, I pull out the AirPod, much to her protest.

“Niall! I was-.”

I pull her into my arms and place my lips on hers, pecking her lips a few times before I whisper to her.

“You saved my life.”

She smiles and pecks my lips, cuddling up in my arms. I was lost before I met her. But she saved my life.

>>>—————————->

I hope that was okay! Thank you for requesting!!!! Please like and reblog! Let me know what you thought!

Please fill free to check out the rest of my writing!

Tag List

Those I couldn’t tag are in red!

@be-with-me-so-happily @swiftmendeshoran @babyiamperfectforyou @freedomfireflies

@kaminokatie @harrysmimi

@violetsandfluff @fruitmans @fruitmansrecs @strwbrrydaydreams

@rafaaoli @kimmi-kat

@cayleyhannha-blog @acesofspadess

@that-mcu-fan @styles-barnes-bitch

@purple9950

#niall horan #fanfiction #wattpad #niall james horan #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan x you #niall horan the show #niall horan x y/n #niall horan fluff #niall horan x reader #niall horan fic #niall imagine #nialler #niall fanfic #solo niall #niall 1d #niall the show #niall

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ros3ybabe · 1 year ago

Text

Daily Check in - October 18th, 2023 🎀

Hello my lovelies <3

Here's a little update for today!! It feels nice to be posting again!

🩷 What I Ate Today -

Breakfast - southern style hashbrowns with ketchup, a cup of coffee

Pre Workout snack - one medium banana and a 3/4oz single serve cup of jiffy peanut butter, 1/4 scoop of preworkout (in water ofc)

Lunch - 1 large bowl of protein pasta w 2 slices of buttered bread, a coffee

Dinner - 1 bowl of spicy ramen with a small handful on shredded cheese

Snack - 1 bowl of mint chip ice cream

Extra - 3 cups of coffee TOTAL

Feels like a lot and I did go over my eating goal for the day but it is what it is, I had an emotionally rough day filled with a lot of crying, a therapy appointment, and a lot of calming down from my boyfriend over video call. Rough days happen, and I tend to let myself just feel the emotions in order to sleep easy and have a better next day!

🩷 Personal Accomplishments -

Made it to the gym, attempted a glute workout (left early due to frustration, lack of proerpr form, and to minimize risk of injury)

Wrote down everything I ate and my workouts in my new fitness and health journal

Showered

Did both morning and night skincare routines

journaled a little bit

brushed teeth

did a large load of laundry and put away all clean clothes

washed dishes

had a therapy appointment

cleaned up parts of room, put away new stuff

There were no academic accomplishments bit I am going to complete a good amount of homework before my cooking shift (for my cooking class) tomorrow. I've been trying to take it easy in a way that doesn't set me behind in my academics.

I broke down crying today with my boyfriend. I realized I've been feeling like such an imposter lately. Like I don't deserve all the good and all the accomplishments I've achieved. Like this life I'm living isn't real or this is the calm before some storm. I just feel so undeserving of everything. I feel inadequate, like I'm not good enough for a lot of thing. I feel like I'm perceived as this good daughter, good friend, good girlfriend, good employee, good student, good person but that it's not actually true? Though my boyfriend and my father have both reassured me that it is true and I am doing good. They've reminded me that I just need patience, discipline, and consistency in my habits and that everything is going to be and already is okay. I'm lucky to have such a loving boyfriend and such an awesome dad, too. The men in my life are the people I look up to most <3

🩷 Personal ToDos, Oct 19th -

morning + night skincare

morning cardio workout at the gym

read a chapter or two of a self help book

shower + brush teeth AM/PM

wash comforter + air dry

morning and night guided journal

morning stretching

Daily journal prompt

zoom call with boyfriend

sleep 6 to 8 hours

track all food and fitness in journal

complete 1 duolingo lesson

complete 1 busuu leson

complete 1 kanji review lesson

🩷 Academic ToDos, Oct 19th -

pre lab 8 quiz anatomy lab

lab 7 lab report anatomy lab

component 2 psyc class

nutrition chart: toddler nutrition class

quiz 10 psyc class

culinary nutrition ch 10 quiz

chapter 12 and 13 quiz nutrition class

My goal is to complete all of that between the time I wake up at 5am and 2pm with my morning routine, workout, meals, and getting ready for my cooking thing all in between. But I can do it, I'm not worried. I'll have the time to do it all! I just need to manage my time and not be on my phone as much.

I'm trying to get back into listening to podcasts and watching more producitve and healthy vlogs from youtubers I enjoy! I'm currently watching vlogs and content from Rebecca Jay, Michaela Bento, The Bliss Bean, LenaLifts, truly.jia, Study to Success, Lindie Botes (her earlier language videos), and Mikalya Mags. My favorite podcast is The 5AM Miracle: Healthy Productivity for High Acheivers by Jeff Sanders.

If you have any health, lifestyle, fitness, or productivity youtubers or podcast recommendations please comment them or inbox me so I can check them out!! I am always looking for new content to enjoy!!!

til next time lovelies 🩷

54 notes · View notes

mariaofdoranelle · 2 years ago

Text

Look at Us Now - ch. 13

Fic masterlist

Thank you for your patience ❤️

This chapter is my baby. I know I say this every time, but some of the scenes took me longer to write than entire chapters. So *cracks knuckles* if you don’t like it… just kidding I won’t do anything 😂 but please don’t let me know if that’s the case lmaoo

Words: 4,9k

Warnings: language, postpartum depression

The yet to be named Galathynius-Whitethorn firstborn came into the world on October 19th, after 13 hours of labor.

Rowan almost lost his mind with worry. It was the best day of his life.

Aedion was holding the baby, his eyes darting between Rowan and the little bundle on his arms. “Holy rutting Mala, the baby is Rowan’s.”

Aelin gave him an unamused look from the hospital bed. “You just figured that one out?”

“You don’t get it.” He lifted the baby so her face would be side by side with Rowan’s from Aedion’s point of view. “It’s like he made a girl clone of himself. It’s day one, and she’s already frowning like Whitethorn.”

To be honest, Rowan was more focused on the way Aelin’s cousin was carrying the baby than on his words. Aedion Ashryver wasn’t exactly a graceful person, and watching him carry that very fragile baby made Rowan a little tense.

”Enough of that.” Orlon took the baby from Aedion’s arms, making Rowan’s shoulders drop an inch. “Do you have no clue about what to name her?”

Aelin and Rowan exchanged a look, then she said, “Our favorite so far is Maisie.”

“It’s beautiful!” Philippa beamed, studying Aelin with a fond look while Orlon agreed with her.

Darrow came closer to his husband and cooed at the little one. “It suits her.”

“I don’t know.” Aedion wrinkled his nose. “I like Aedinna better.”

“Aedion,” Philippa cautioned.

Aelin was shooting daggers at him, jaw tight as she grabbed the tissue box from the bedside table.

Rowan went stiff. “That’s enough—“

Smirking, Aedion added, “Or Wiggly Jiggly—“

“Shut up!” Aelin aimed the tissue box at her cousin and sent it flying across the room. “You’re such a fucking loser!”

“Aw.” Aelin’s cousin beamed. “Is it the first time you curse in front of the baby?”

Instead of the usual glaring that was expected, Aelin’s face faltered. She clamped her lips together and blinked, but at the same time the baby started fussing on Orlon’s arms, then he immediately gave her back to Aelin, not knowing what to do.

Enough of visitors. Rowan’s blood was beginning to boil under his skin, so he looked at his watch. His online sources said the visits shouldn’t be longer than 30 minutes, and they’ve been here for 32 already. It was time to kick everyone out.

“Aedion. Out,” Rowan said through gritted teeth, low but stern. He didn’t give a fuck that Aelin’s cousin was raised as her brother or how they’d tease each other. She got upset, and Rowan only had one job. He gave Orlon, Darrow and Philippa something that could at least resemble a smile. “Please.”

The elder ones of the family were good sports about being kicked out, just taking a second to say their goodbyes before leaving.

Except that when Rowan was holding the door for them to leave, Darrow asked to talk outside and led him a few steps away from everyone, enough to give them some privacy.

“I won’t apologize for putting you in jail.”

Rowan gave him a stiff nod. “I don’t expect you to, sir.”

“Good.” Colonel Darrow gave him a guarded look. “But I was upset, and I put Military Law before my family’s trust. That’s not something I’m proud of. It put me in enough trouble at home.”

Rowan would never know what happened in his house besides Aelin moving out, and he might not want to. Whatever his intentions were, Rowan broke the law, and his sentence for improper sexual conduct was fair. The only person to blame was himself.

“Because you are family now, Rowan, and I want you to feel welcome with Orlon and I.”

Rowan’s breath hitched until his body restarted so he could swallow a lump in his throat. “Thank you, sir.”

“But don’t fuck up again. I’m still your superior at work.”

There was not a chance Rowan would have sex inside base again. Not after going to the guardhouse for it, not after Aelin.

“There’ll be nothing but teaching at the Training Center, Colonel.” Rowan did his best to bite back a smile. “I have everything I could ask for at home.”

Darrow gave one last tap on Rowan’s shoulder. “I’m happy for you, kid.”

He watched Aelin’s family leave—his family too now, not his words—but not for long. He quickly went back to the room, his eyes meeting Aelin’s as soon as he entered the room again.

She looked nothing short of heavenly today in the Air Force’s maternity ward.

Aelin moved to the side a little, silently telling him to join her in the bed. She didn’t need to ask twice. There was a lot of paperwork waiting for Rowan, but it wouldn’t be done until they decided the baby’s name.

They just stayed there for a moment, watching their baby’s rosy cheeks—she was all bundled up, so it was all they could see—the loudest thing in the room being the AC running.

Rowan chewed on his lip, thinking about her telling her uncle she liked ‘Maisie’ best. “You don’t mind naming her after a junkie’s song?”

“What? No.” Aelin gave him a confused look. “The name is so cute, and my dad was a fan. I thought you were the one who didn’t want it.”

”You know…” a gentle kiss on the crown of Aelin’s head. “I have really good memories attached to that song.”

“So?”

Rowan caressed his daughter’s chubby cheeks. “I think Maisie is ready for another nap.”

Aelin smiled against his chest. ”So is Maisie’s mother.”

He brushed her hair back with his fingers and said, “Me too. Maybe I should teach Maisie’s first lesson on adulthood and make her fill her own paperwork.”

Aelin mentioned to pinch his side, but Rowan grabbed her hand before the minor assault. He restrained his hug as much as he could, careful with her tired postpartum body, and cuddled Aelin to sleep.

Of all the pain Rowan had to endure in his life, his favorite so far was feeling his cheeks hurt from grinning so much. All because of his girls.

He was living with Aelin, the mother of his child. Rowan had the whole package already, he just needed to convince Aelin of one thing.

Rowan held her tightly, and there was something in his mind as he did, repeating itself like a broken record while he felt it take over his body and soul.

He loved her

˜˜

Turns out pursuing Aelin while having a newborn was harder than Rowan thought.

Between tending Maisie and giving Aelin space to recover from giving birth, the last thing on Rowan’s mind was his own dick. Actually, pursuing the woman he loved in hopes to become an official family with her went beyond ‘thinking with his dick’, but that’s how Rowan felt when he considered asking her that when she looked so… Aelin was far from fragile, but she still seemed to be overwhelmed by postpartum hormones, or whatever made new moms sad.

Rowan opened the fridge and ran a hand through his face, not missing the sharpness of his unshaved cheek. Did Maisie drink all those bottles already? They were prioritizing breastfeeding, but Rowan would do anything to let Aelin rest as much as she could.

He was so sure her insomnia would end with the pregnancy, but she seemed to sleep even less now that Maisie was here.

“Rowan!”

He blinked, jerking towards the stove, where his mom was. “What?”

At first, they dismissed his mother when she first offered to spend a few weeks with them until things were settled, but now Rowan thanked her every night for insisting to stay. He had just realized how demanding a two-week-old can be.

“Were you listening to me?”

Rowan grimaced. “Can’t say I was, sorry.”

Rory’s shoulders dropped, nothing but fondness in her gaze. “Did you talk to Aelin?”

Rowan settled close to his mother to wash a few dirty bottles. “She told me she’s fine.”

His mother had her I-know-it-all look, the same one she gave him when Rowan was a teenager grew like a tree, but wouldn’t admit he was taking workout supplements.

“Could you not?” Rowan gave her a look to rival her Mom Look. He failed miserably.

She was turning the beef around on the pan, frowning at the half-cooked meat. “I’ve seen a lot of new moms, Rowan. I know what a happy one looks like.”

He flexed his jaw, scrubbing the bottle harder than necessary. “If you’ve seen a lot of new moms, you know they get overwhelmed after birth.”

Rory turned back to work on dinner. “It’d be a lot easier on her if she had an actual partner, you know?”

His neck stiffened, his pulse faster in a heartbeat. Rory’s hints about him marrying Aelin had gotten less and less subtle as the months passed. As much as Rowan wanted to do that, those comments still irked him.

“You’re telling me she won’t be happy until we’re married and I put a white picket fence around the house?”

“I’m not telling you to marry her because of whatever people my age say a family should look like.” Rory gave him a dagger-sharp look. “I’m telling you to marry Aelin because you’re in love, but you two don’t seem to know what to do with that.”

His chest tightened, and Rowan wouldn’t look Rory in the eye. “It’s complicated.”

Her posture relaxed, and her eyes and tone were a lot softer when she said, “It’s not. You see what you want, and you seize it.”

Rowan felt his throat closing, and he just rushed with the rest of the dishes before leaving to check on Aelin and Maisie. For Mala’s sake, was his mother this desperate for a daughter-in-law?

He stood by the open door, watching them before announcing his arrival. Aelin’s hand was gentle but restless as she patted Maisie’s back, her eyes distant as she tried to burp the little girl.

Rowan would act on his feelings when the time was right, he was happy to just watch his family in the meanwhile.

And Aelin… she was recovering from giving birth. That’s the reason she wouldn’t get out of bed.

He sat beside her on the bed. “She’s done feeding?”

“Not quite.”

Rowan extended both hands. “Can I try?”

Since the usual technique wasn’t working, Rowan decided to try something he saw online. He held Maisie against his chest and shoulder as usual, but gently swiveled her bottom instead of patting her back.

Until the cutest little burp echoed through Aelin’s room. A completely different experience from the ones he’s used to hearing at the Air Force’s mess hall.

”There she is.” He kissed Maisie’s belly and held her in front of him, father and daughter staring at each other with the same pine green eyes. “Did you like Mommy’s dinner?”

“She better enjoy it while she can, that’s the only dinner I can make.”

Rowan squeezed her hand. “I’ll take care of that once she grows some teeth.”

She leaned against the bedpost, lips flat. “Of course you will.”

His breath caught inside his chest. Did he say something wrong?

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing.” Aelin bowed her head and grimaced. “I didn’t mean to snap, it’s just—“ she ran both hands through her hair. “I feel like I’m always messing up with Maisie.”

Rowan hummed, moving himself and the baby closer to Aelin. “I think Maisie disagrees, since you’re very clearly her favorite person.”

This line was supposed to make Aelin smile, but it completely backfired now that she was staring at the ceiling and blinking back tears.

“Wanting me is just her instinct. She’s biologically inclined to do that.”

He caressed her shoulder, trying to comfort her in any way he could. “Instinct or not, I still think you’re a great mom.”

“And you’re like a dream dad that came straight from a diaper ad.“ She gave him a weak smile. “It’s annoying sometimes. I love it.”

Aelin leaned her head against his shoulder and they stayed there, savoring the moment until Maisie decided it was enough.

It wouldn’t be long until the time to act on his fluttering stomach came. Rowan would pour his heart out, put a ring on her finger, and have as many children as she wanted.

He’d do it when the time was right.

˜˜

“Who’s ready for some beach-themed therapy?” Yrene greeted them into her office with a huge grin, holding a beach ball with emotions written on it.

Aelin threw her head back, laughing. “What’s that?”

That made Rowan’s chest fill with warmth, and it was a well-known fact that he could live his whole life gravitating around that laughter alone. He flexed his hands, then gave in to the ache in his fingers and fondly brushed them against the middle of her back. Aelin gave him a quick smile and turned back to their therapist.

Yrene gave them space to walk inside while explaining, “We use this activity mostly with teenagers, but I thought it’d be nice to get you in the mood for your trip.”

After they discussed last week’s homework, she explained that it consisted of passing the ball around, reading the first word that pops in and telling one time they felt that way. Easy.

“Furious.” Aelin gaped at the ball, and then at Yrene. “That’s a way to start.”

“Now you tell us a time when your family made you furious,” their therapist said.

Aelin squinted her eyes at him. “When you cut Maisie’s hair without telling me.”

Rowan grimaced. Fatherhood was hard, but nothing could prepare him for dealing with his daughter’s hair. There were so many different creams, he always got the hairstyles wrong, and she’d scream bloody murder while getting her hair rinsed.

So Rowan did the logical thing and cut his toddler’s hair around the chin.

Maisie liked it, but Aelin yelled so much at him she nearly ruptured his eardrums.

She had one arm holding the ball against her, the other on her hip. “You have nothing to say for yourself?”

“It grew back.”

Aelin threw the ball at him a little harsher than necessary. “Your turn.”

By the looks of it, there was a reason therapists chose a beach ball, and not something heavier and therefore deadlier to do this dynamic with.

“Thankful.” Rowan twirled the ball in his hands, smiling inwardly. “When Maisie trashed my house while I took a nap and you helped me clean it up.”

His memory broke her angry stance, making Aelin’s shoulders relax. “You could’ve pressed charges against Maisie for what she did to your house.”

“Technically, I could arrest her myself, but I don’t think the Brigadier would approve.”

Aelin rolled her eyes, like she always did when someone joked about her being the Air Force’s nepo baby, and he passed her the beach ball.

“Appreciated.” Aelin had a wistful smile on, and looked as if it was a crystal glass showing her past. “When I was pregnant, you’d leave the house in the middle of the night to buy something I was craving.”

Rowan’s heart constricted with the memory, but he knew he’d do it all over again. Getting to know her, living with her while they watched Maisie grow made those some of the best days of his life.

Flooded with memories, he almost missed the beach ball when Aelin passed it to him. It was like time stopped when Rowan grabbed it and read the first word his eyes settled in, his chest caving and the floor falling beneath his feet. Should he lie? There was only one time he felt—

“What’s the word, Rowan?” Yrene asked when silence stretched for too long.

He swallowed. “Betrayed.”

“What?” Aelin let out a low, shaky laugh. “I never betrayed—“

“When you asked me to leave.”

Aelin was rooted to her spot, gaping until she blurted, “How was that a betrayal?”

Yrene cleared her throat. “Let’s remember this should be a safe space to share our—“

“You want me to be petty now?” Rowan shook his head and started finger-counting everything he barely remembered now, but weighted on him six years ago. “You were my student. You had a boyfriend. I went against every rule I had for you.” Rowan’s mouth opened and closed, his breathing ragged as he voiced every feeling he ditched over the last six years, like weed growing from small cracks in an old road he buried with asphalt day after day. “I went to *jail* for you. I fixed your entire house for you—“

“I didn’t force you to do any of that—“

“But you forced me to leave!“ Rowan sat on the couch and scraped his palms against his face, trying to think of the right words. ”I know things were shitty, but you were clutching Maisie to your chest when you told me to pack my things and leave!” He held one finger up while holding his head down and took one deep breath. And another. And another. Until the boiling in his blood calmed down.

He continued after a moment, “I didn’t mean to snap. I know that wasn’t exactly a betrayal, but emotions don’t always align with facts, or whatever Yrene has been telling us.”

Aelin sat by his side, reading every line of his wretched expression with her own, and said, “I wish I’d done things differently, but I couldn’t make the right choices because my mind wasn’t in the right place.” She playfully elbowed his side with a small, tentative smile. “Or whatever Yrene has been telling us.”

Rowan slowly nodded, knowing he’d mull this words over and over after this session ended. “I wish I’d done things differently too. I can’t stop thinking about every time I messed up that year since…” Since Ansel suggested that he was the reason Aelin kicked him out, but he wouldn’t open this Pandora‘s box now. Rowan sighed, all the weight of these six years heavy on his shoulders. “I‘ve been trying to puzzle things together, and the only conclusion I get to is that I failed you and Maisie.”

Aelin squeezed his hand. “You never did.”

She meant well, but hearing that she regretted her decision and that it wasn’t his fault wasn’t reassuring at all. It only sent him back to square one, even more confused.

Aelin took a deep, pained breath and closed her eyes, then fiddled with his fingers. She must’ve read something on his face, because she added, “I wish I could give you a better answer and explain those last few days to you, but I don’t remember Maisie’s first months very well.”

Rowan caressed her wrist with his thumb, not knowing what to say. It was odd that she didn’t remember, but—

Yrene cleared her throat. “And remember that if you’re feeling overwhelmed by your own thoughts, I’ll be happy to help you with that.”

Beating himself up for every little thing he did six years ago was a natural response for losing the love of his life. Rowan had no idea why his therapist was so obsessed with him starting individual sessions.

He looked back at Aelin, noticing her unguarded expression and how the touch of her hand covering his wired and soothed him at the same time.

Right now, he just needed one thing.

˜˜

“Why is this taking so long?” Maisie whined from the backseat of the car they just rented.

Rowan had an ‘I told you so’ ready, but it wouldn’t help with anything now. With a plane trip to Southeastern Doranelle and a long drive to his parents’ house on the same day, he knew getting into the long drive-thru line would only make Maisie stressed. The problem is that his daughter was as stubborn as she was impatient.

“I don’t know, honey.” Aelin gasped from the passenger, eyes wide in a display of theatrics she only did to entertain Maisie. “Maybe they’re ordering the whole menu.”

“They’re taking forever.” The little girl crossed her arms, unamused. “Why did everyone’s daddy have to grab lunch today?” Maisie was doing distressed, dramatic gestures with her arms. “Where’s all the mommies?”

Rowan’s spine went rigid and he frowned at his daughter. “What do you mean?”

“Rowan…” Aelin grimaced and bit back her laughter at the same time. “You’re a slow driver. I thought you knew that already.”

His eyes widened. “I’m not!”

Aelin threw her head back, laughing. “You are! And Maisie has your road rage.”

He shook his head, but swallowed his retort when the car in front of them got their bag. He hit the brake pedal, hands clutching the steering wheel as he leaned forwards, breathlessly waiting… but the car wouldn’t move.

“Ugh!” Maisie looked up and sighed. “Daddy, do you want me to get out and push so they’ll move?”

Her “threat” worked like a charm, now that the car moved and they were one step closer to getting a meal. Rowan’s lips were pinched together, restrained, but when he saw Aelin’s shoulders shaking with her head between her hands, he silently rested his head on the steering wheel and did the same.

It should be illegal to feel this amused at his own daughter’s frustration, but Maisie was too cute with road rage.

After they got their food and went back to the road, Aelin put on the Little Mermaid soundtrack again. The girls were singing at the top of their lungs, and Rowan could finally agree that this was better than having the GPS on and not taking a wrong turn every fifteen minutes. He didn’t remember how many times he listened to Under the Sea today, but he remembered getting warm, funny feelings in his chest every time their voices got louder than the song.

Before the trip really began, Rowan already accepted that the vacation was theirs, and he was just the chauffeur.

He wasn’t supposed to love this idea this much.

However, his mind was half there, half on the last therapy session they had. It hadn’t left his mind ever since he stepped out of Yrene’s office.

Aelin told him very clearly she wished she’d done things differently.

Restless nights, charged pauses when they spoke, fingers hovering over his phone’s keyboard. Rowan felt like he was on the edge of a cliff, on the verge of jumping and asking a detailed explanation of what she meant, in whatever way that would answer all the questions in his head. Or at least the most important one.

“Use your words, boy and ask her!” They sang in the background of Rowan’s anxiety. “If the time is right and the time is tonight, go on and kiss the girl!”

Rowan paused the song with a heartbeat faster than it should, but not without groans of protest. “What’s that?”

“Kiss the Girl!” Maisie whined. “Daddy, I want the song back.”

“Okay, okay.” He put the song back, feeling a tad guilty for disrupting an already stressed Maisie. “Sorry, kiddo.”

Rowan only relaxed when the song ended, though, and half of the weight of his shoulders left his body later, when they finally got to their destination.

Maisie burst into his parents’ beach house as soon as her door unlocked like the little cannonball she was.

“Go on.” Rowan nudged Aelin forward. “I got the bags.”

Stubborn as the day she was born, Aelin took her bag from his hand. “I’m not gonna barge into your parent’s house like I’m their five-year-old granddaughter.”

This was ridiculous, considering how much Rory and Owen loved her, but he understood why she was a little guarded now. Rowan came here with Maisie once or twice a year, but it was Aelin’s first time visiting.

“Knowing my parents, they might even like it.” Rowan snorted, shaking his head. “They already act like you’re the daughter they never had, anyway.”

He took two steps towards the house, but Aelin didn’t follow. She was staring, frozen with an indecipherable look aimed at him, and the realization of what he’d just said rooted him to the ground, his body so heavy it expanded to his core.

This week at therapy. If she was looking at him like this, it meant that being part of the family to his mother meant something to her. Every single interaction now led him back to therapy.

She dumped him, but she wished she’d done things differently.

Of all the reactions Rowan thought she’d have if he ever voiced the thoughts that made him pace in the middle of the night, holding his hand and apologizing wasn’t one of them.

Maybe he held back for being still used to the explosive reactions he got from her before family therapy, or maybe he knew he’d never say it out loud only to have his fears confirmed.

That he focused on the baby and didn’t pay her enough attention. That he was working too long hours. That his fussiness made him micromanage her mothering—which Rowan was actively trying to stop. That she got trapped with him, then decided she could have more.

But whatever happened that year, she wishes she’d done things differently.

“Aelin!” His mother shouted from the front door, stepping out their way. “I couldn’t believe my ears when Rowan told me you’d come!”

She hugged Rory, finally out of that trance. “Your house is so beautiful.”

His father showed up with Maisie while pleasantries were being exchanged. “About time,” the old man mock-complained.

“Sorry we’re late.” Rowan gave his dad a man hug and got the usual two pats on the back. “Maisie and Aelin turned off the GPS. The voice directions were disturbing their Disney sing-along.”

“Oh, that’s understandable.” Owen picked his granddaughter up, grinning. “I didn’t know you like singing with your mom that much, Maisy Daisy.”

She nodded with all the earnestness a five-year-old could muster. “The songs are fun, and Mommy is really brave.”

“Maisie!” Aelin chastised, her lips somewhere between a gape and a smile. “Why am I ‘brave’ for singing?”

The little girl just giggled and hid her face on her grandpa’s shoulder.

Rowan slowly shook his head, never failing to be amused at his daughter. He was ready to defend Aelin‘s skills, but that was her own sass biting her in the ass. Maisie might’ve gotten the Whitethorn looks, but that fiery personality was all Aelin’s.

On the second floor, Rowan got his usual guest room, but his mother was still showing everything because of Aelin.

“This one I prepared for you.” She was pointing everything around, assuming everyone was catching up. “There’s Sellene’s room, the other is Enda’s. Their kids have a room for themselves, they just asked me to put on a show about a boy and dogs.”

Maisie’s eyes brightened. “Pawtrols.”

“That one!” Rory crouched down enough to be eye to eye with Maisie. “Well, the kids’ room I prepared has a TV and lots of toys.” She pointed at a door down the hall. “You could sleep there with your cousins and leave the other room just to your mom and dad.”

Rowan didn’t know why he was surprised.

Maisie crossed her arms. “No.”

Rory’s face fell. “What.”

The little girl put her foot down, dramatically shaking her head. “I wanna stay with Mommy and Daddy.”

His mother didn’t agree or protest, knowing she was already bordering the line between scheming and being pushy.

“We don’t have to decide now.” Rowan crouched to talk to Maisie, ready to get rid of that weird tension. “You can stay with us for as long as you want, and play during the day or have sleepovers with your cousins when you feel like it.”

Aelin wiggled her eyebrows. “You could have both rooms, Mais.”

The little girl’s eyes lit up with the idea. “Can I have both rooms, Grandma?”

“Of course you can, honey.” Rory grinned at her granddaughter, all the distress from her failed plan vanished already. “You three get settled, everyone’s downstairs.”

When they set the bags on the room, Maisie threw herself on the bed while Aelin excused herself to the bedroom.

Rowan laid on the bed next to his little girl, where the three of them would sleep squashed together. It’d be nice to have some alone time with Aelin, but he was also incapable of saying no to Maisie.

Besides, his mother didn’t need to trap him into anything with Aelin, he’d do it this time. Forget about reading her cues and waiting for the perfect time, he was tired of feeling like his soul was being ripped into threads every time he watched her eyes light up while her lips arch into a smile.

Rowan wished he’d done things differently too, but that had to stop somewhere.

And if he didn’t have a shot with Aelin, he’d at least fight for what he wanted this time.

She walked back into the room, smiled, and laid on the other side of the bed, hugging Maisie as well.

He’d make a move and do everything on his mind in the near future. Right now, he had a family hug to attend.

“Mom? Dad?”

Aelin hummed.

“You’re a slice of bread.”

Rowan frowned. ”I don’t get it.”

Their daughter beamed. “I’m the cheese!”

That earned her a chuckle. Indeed, Maisie was sandwiched between them in a hug.

Aelin smacked a kiss on her cheek. “You’re our Mayomaisie.”

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