#please one time 12 years ago was enough i dont want to watch this happen again

[hecate-valentine]

[triplexdoublex]

Good Enough To Eat

Pairing: Colson, Rook, Slim, Baze, Modsun, Travis Barker X Reader

Warnings/Tags: Gangbang, implied consent, all holes filled, Sacrelige, mentions of a foot fetish

a/n: This was much harder to write than I anticipated -- 6 dicks, 6 tongues, 12 hands (and dont even make me do the math on fingers) is a lot to keep track of , especially when they’re all on/in one body at once. Reader is written as not really being familiar with who they all out so you’ll see then more often referred to by description or known references to help you figure out who’s who. Names are only really mentioned when another character is saying them. Also please note Justin and Sophie weren’t around when I started this fic over a year ago , so that’s why they’re not included . Enjoy!

“…Happy birthday, Dear Rookie, happy birthday to you!” Six male voices clamor in celebration, as you lay on the table before them ; your nude body a flesh platter, serving up the freshest array of strategically placed sashimi and rolled sushi.

“Damn, that looks good enough to eat!” The shaggy blonde announces; his words dripping with inuendo.

“KELLS!” The man to his left warns.

“Oh, for Fucks sake Slim you know you were thinking it too.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t say it, cuz I’m polite like that.” Slim responds suppressing a laugh.

It’s not the first time you had a customer say something like that; and in your line of work, it certainly won’t be the last. This time it felt a bit different though— Usually it’s a group of middle aged business men with grey hair and overpriced suits making lewd remarks and trying to get handsy in lieu of using their chopsticks as they feasted off your body, but this time the suggestive nature of the gorgeous, young, heavily tattooed men’s words have you imagining them feasting on your body in other ways.

“Yo, Rook! Listen man I don’t give a shit if it’s your birthday, you ain’t sitting at the end of the table near her feet— g’ the fuck outta my seat!”

“All yours, Kells,” Rook laughs with an eyeroll getting up to switch seats with the tall blonde, knowing his friend's affinity for a pedicured pair.

“Perfect,” he smirks, taking his new seat as he admires your toes.

********

“Aye, yo if none a y’all are gonna be brave enough to go for the last piece above her pussy—I’m calling dibs,” the blonde announces rising from seat, his lanky body towering over you before bending at the waist. He firmly plants his hands on the table; one on each side of your hips and dips his head. “It seems I’ve forgot my chopsticks,” he states, looking up at you through his pale blonde lashes. “and it’s rude to eat with your hands,” he dips his head lower, his mouth just centimeters away from where you were picturing it earlier.

Using his tongue as a scoop, he lifts a small chunk of raw Salmon into his mouth; the decorative leaf placed under it for hygienic purposes is the only barrier between his tongue and where you want it most. He barely has to chew the soft raw fish — it’s so fresh—before swallowing it down.

“Best bite yet,” he licks his lips seductively. “Say, sweet girl— you wouldn’t happen to have any dessert for us tonight, would you? He glides a finger along the seam of where your two bare thighs meet.

His crew and friends shift awkwardly in their seats, beginning to worry the self-proclaimed ‘wild boy’ is taking things too far when,suddenly they take notice of how the blondes touch has your legs spreading easier than butter on warm toast.

“I don’t think we’ll be needing these anymore,” he smirks before removing the three strategically placed leaves and last of your modesty.

He takes your breasts in his hands, groping them as his mouth descends a trail of open mouth kisses down your naked torso. His friends watch in awe as Kells hands and mouth travel lower, his blonde head settling between your thighs. He licks one long languid stripe up your soaked slit before pausing.

“Silly me, where are my manners?” He wipes at his mouth . “Birthday boy always gets the first piece of cake.” He motions to Rook with a smirk.

Rook stands, his pants already tented as he makes his way over to between your thighs. He plucks an elastic from his wrist and quickly secures his braids back— and fuck, he’s even more gorgeous now without the braids obstructing the view of his ever changing hazel/green eyes and sexy dimples. He wraps his arms around your legs and grips your thighs with calloused hands swiftly pulling you to the edge of the table. You let out a surprised squeak at his actions, causing him to smirk as he places a series of kisses descending down your inner thighs before pausing to marvel at your wetness. Using his middle and ring finger he gathers your arousal and brings it to his lips, sucking the sweet elixir from his fingertips. He hums to himself enjoying the way you taste before diving in fully; those same two fingers plunging into you, and his mouth engulfing your clit. It feels like heaven as he slurps and sucks at it and you can tell he’s a man with a lot of experience under his belt — typical rockstar. It’s only a matter of time before the rest of the gang shows off their experience as well, swarming your naked body like ants at a picnic.

A expedition of hungry hands roam over the swell of your breasts and descend down your body to the valley between your thighs. In a state of arousal you allow them to use you as they want; touch, grab, taste and take turns with you as they please— everything a blur of euphoria.

Last you knew the birthday boy was working his magic between your thighs, your eyes squeezed shut in pleasure , but now as they briefly flicker open a vision of the Virgin Mary begins to come into focus and for a moment you think perhaps you died and went to heaven—- it certainly feels that way. It’s not until your eyes fully focus you realize the image is inked upon the bald head of the man devouring you now. The absolute irony of the religious imagery being present during such an unholy act just turns you on even more— just another layer of taboo. The next thing you know it’s as if Jesus himself is hovering over you, long light brown hair dusting across your bare breasts as his cock moves insides you. Your words seem to match your thoughts and you cry out “Jesus Christ!” in a fit of pleasure as the long-haired man repeatedly slams into your G-spot.

“Someone give her something to shut her mouth up” the biblical-looking figure orders.

In an instant you felt a slippery tongue push in past your lips, the sweet taste of Shirley Temples still lingering on the green haired man’s taste buds. For a brief moment as his tongue fights against your own you find yourself wondering about his story— about how long he’s been sober. You noticed he hasn’t touched a drop of alcohol all night despite it being paraded in front of him, the boys downing shot after shot. Your thoughts are interrupted by the man still inside of you.

“That’s not exactly what I had in mind, Mod” he jokes “Slim, show him how it’s done!”

The salty flesh of a hard cock quickly replaces the sweet tongue that occupied your mouth. Standing above you he reaches down pinching both your nipples between his thumb and forefingers, giving them a series of tugs as he forces his cock down your throat. You notice his hands are much softer and less calloused than the other hands that are roaming and fondling your body, and you figure he must play a much more delicate instrument than the others, which is ironic given he’s being anything but with you.

It’s not long before there’s so much going on and you're completely drunk off pleasure that you can no longer even keep track of who’s mouth, who’s hands, who’s fingers and who’s cock, is where. All you know is you’ve came at least three times, you’ve been folded into every position possible , and every orifice is deliciously sore and well used. But your ass might just be the sorest of all, having been the blonde ring leader's favorite most of the evening; his huge cock stretching it and filling it so well. You wonder how much more your body can take and how much longer the men can possibly last, but truth be told, this is by far the best night you’ve ever had on the job and you never want it to end .

[luna-nigthshade-wood]

Au: Where Dean lives with his ducklings, before he goes hunting with Eileen...

Dean: Alright ducklings, front and center 

(Ducklings form a line)

Dean: Due to the fact, that is clear to me I cant trust any of you to be in charge, I...

Emma: Well, thanks dad, that makes us feel so love

Ben: Yeah, dad. I dont understand why you dont trust us. I mean I understand  anger issues here (pointing at Claire and Emma) and stab king over there (pointing to Jesse), but I think I am old and mature enough to be in charge of the Bunker while you and Eileen are gone.

Dean: How about no? Should I remind you of the fire extinguer incident?

Ben, with a betrayed face:... You promised we would never talk about it. 

Alex: Wait, why cant I be in charge? I am responsable

Dean, exasperated: Last time, you were in charge you tried to throw a party, try being the key world

Alex: Sory for not talking snitches into consideration (throwing a smirking Claire a glare)

Krissy: I feel I should be in charge Dean. 

Dean: No, you cant. You tried to summon an interdimensional creature last time.

Krissy: Oh yeah, that was fun

Dean, seeing Claire raising her hand: I suppose you are going to tell me why you should be in charge, Carrie

Claire, rolling her eyes: Cute, but no. I was going to say that you are right and you should put Kaia in charge

Dean, seeing right through: Absolutely no, you only want Kaia in charge because she lets you do everything you want. (Turning to her) Sorry, Kaia

Kaia,: Fair enough

Dean, seeing Bobby John excited: Same for you B, sorry, but you bend easily for your fellow ducklings (cue Bobby John deflating but nodding)

Jack, innocently: Can I be in charge Dean? I promise I will do my best

Dean, somehow softly: Sorry Jackie boy, but you are three, how about you focuse on taking care of Sir Fluffy? (refering to Jack´s stuffed bear)

Jack, pleased: Of course Dean

Jesse: Could I? (seeing Dean´s face daring him to ask after Thee Incident TM) Yeah no I am good

Sam, who has been quiet and has a broken arm, therefore not going to the hunt: You worry so much Dean. I can take care of them just fine (cue glares to Sam)

Dean: Yeah, you are also not in charge

Sam, ready to agree with Dean: Of course I... Wait the fck do you mean I am not in charge?

Dean: I could give you a list of reasons

Sam: I am a grown adult, besides Cas is going to be here with me

Dean: Yeah, that is not ressuring and also number one on the list of why you are not to be trusted. May I remind you why your arm is broken?

(Cue flashbacks of Cas and Sam experimenting on Sam with spells from a suspicious looking book that randomly appeared in the Bunker)

Eileen, who has been watching the chaos: Face it babe, you two are not to be trusted alone. Besides, when you are with the kids alone you suddenly revert to your 12 year old self

Dean: Anyways, getting back on track, the person in charge is... (seeing Patience enter the kitchen) Patience

Patience: Wait what? 

Dean, nodding: Yes you will do. Dont worry Patience I trust you besides I left a bowl of papers with suggestions

Patience, taking the bowl: And how would I know if the paper apply to the situation?

Dean, grabbing a paper: Dont worry, for example “Jack, dont eat that” aplies to anything that is not food, you also have “Claire, dont go hunting” “Emma dont do the ritual” “B, please dont dismember yourself” was originally for Bobby John but after what happened two months ago it applies to everyone. And lastly, my favorite “For the love of my sanity and my health, Sammy and Cas DONT”, which applies to anything they try to do together. Anyways we are going. See you in two days (Dean and Eileen exit the bunker)

Eileen, after Babby is already running: Do you actually thing we should have let Patience in charge?

Dean, tapping his fingers: Absolutely not, they will eat her alive. That is why I called Jody, she will be there in two hours

(At the end there were only three small fires and an arrest order, three of those things happening before Jody arrived so Dean counts it as a win)       

[siriuslystargazing]

I new I could count on you

 Request: hiii, I see your request are open and I was hoping for a sirius x reader based in book 5, the time when Molly and Sirius have an argument and reader steps up for Sirius? thank you! 

A/N: Yess oo this is going to be good !! i feels right to be back in the grove again no Uni work to worry about so lets get this ball rolling :) quick disclaimer, my spelling is bad i have dylexcia sorry but hopefully its not that bad... i havent read the books in a few years but hope you like it :))

Summary: after all this time sirius can always count on you to back him.

Grimmauld palace was far from a palace to Sirius, he saw this place as more a prison than anything, no matter how much Molly cleanend the walls always seemd to hold the memories and dirty secrets that the black family held. The newest secret the walls held were the wearabouts of Harry Potter, Harry was relived to finally leave his tiny room at 4 private drive much be his new room was a somewhat dusty upgrade but he could live with it he was finally with his family again. but the reunion had to wait a while as the Order meeting was getting a little intense in the kitchen “Well Well Well” George Weasly Started “if it isnt Harry” Fred followed “want to know whats happening down stairs then?” the twins quized smirking bettween themselves 

“i have a feeling your going to do whatever it is wether or not i agree” Harry replied, the twins shared a look and nodded Harry smiled and followed the weaslys to the stairs 

“surly we shouldnt be doing this we’re not in there for a reason” hermionie stressed watching the twins lower the ear down listing on to the convosation...

in the Kitchen the table played host to a mix of wizards and witches, Sirius sat inbeteewn Remus and Y/N with Molly oppersit all four of them in a heated debate over harry “ Molly, Harry has a right to know about what is happening, if it wasnt for him we wouldnt know that Voldamort was back! he isnt a child molly ” Sirus started earning a frustrated huff “but he isnt an Adult either, he is not James-” Y/N flinched at the name sirius took note and placed his hand in hers giving a reasuring squeez “-He is not your Son! Molly!-”Y/N began “ Harry is our Godson we have a duty of care for him -” 

“Oh please Y/N ! where have you two been for the past 12 years, one of you was rotting in Azkaban and you were galavanting across Asia” 

“shut up you slimey Git thats my Wife your talking to!” sirius shot from his seat slaming his palms on the table silencing Snape.

“oh Enough of this the lot of you, i say we leave the meeting here and get dinner on” Molly disbanded the meeting opening the kitchen door and calling everyone down for dinner, 

“Harry Potter!” sirius Greeted embracing the teen in a tight hug “i have someone very imortant here for you to meet” pulling away and waving Y/N over to them 

“Hello Bambi” Y/N started, Tears pricked at her eyes as she took in the teen before her, he really was a spitting image of James “im Y/N, Your Godmother, i want to apologise for not being in your life i was told you died that night and well...” Y/N trailed off but was embraced in hug from Harry “its okay Y/N its nice to finally meet you Remus and Sirus told me so much about you !”

“not to cut the reunion short my love but i belive Molly is ready to plate up dinner” 

“oh yes of course!” 

Each sat at the table Whilst molly continued to cut vegetables as Arther informed HArry on his Hearing at the Ministry “this is very peculiar Harry, your hearing at the ministry is to be infront of, well the enitre Wizard front..”

��but i dont understand what has the Ministry got against me ?”

“Show him” Moody Grunted from the Shadows “he will find out soon enough beter to just show him now” more looks were exchanged at the table until Kingsly grabed a copy of the profit showing Harry the headline, sirius sighed “dont worry they have been attacking Dumbledor aswell”

“we belive Fudge is using his influence and power over at the profit to discourage the rumors of Voldemorts return, and he is deluded, fudge thinks Dumbledor is after his job!” Y/N continued 

“but thats insane No one would-” “Thats exactly the point Harry! Fudge isnt in his right mind, its been twisted by fear, and the last time Voldamort gained this much power, he nearly destroyed everything we hold dear to us” Remus cut in looking towards Y/N and Sirius with a small smile “and the minister we will do anything in his power to avoid that truth” 

Sirius and Y/N looked at eachother for a moment Nodding in silent agreement “We think, he wants to build up his army again..14 years ago he had a huge following not just witches and Wizards but other dark creatures and he has started up again, the order have done the same but gathering followers isnt the only thing hes interested in... we belive Voldamort is after somthing” The sound of mollys chopping grinded to a halt “Sirius” Moody warned but Sirius ingnored and continued “Somthing he didnt have Last time-” 

“No! thats Enough, he. is. Jusy. a. BOY!” Molly orderd her Knife claterted to the table as she rushed to Harrys side “you say much more and you might as well induct him into the order” 

“great i’d love to Join” HArry Protested “if Voldamort is raising an army i want to be a ble to fight” Sirius didnt reply but gave molly a look and clapped 

“he has a point” Y/N spoke her voice quite, sirius gave harry a wink “Excuse me!”

“Molly, Harry has a right to know and its Sirius and my duty to inform him of what is happening, you cant shield him away from this its his life, he might not have asked for it but we cant keep him hidden from the inevitable, and last time i checked and i did in asia you can’t change a profacy like this its self fufiling no matter how hard you try it will happen, all we can do is support him and help him.” the table was silent apart from a small wimper form Ron as he noticed his Mothers look 

“But he is just a Boy Y/N, What would James and Lily think? why on earth they made you two his Godparents is beyond me? both of you are reckless, young and have no -”

“HOW DARE YOU QUESTION THEM! THEY TRUSTED US FOR A REASON, MAYBE IF YOU NEW THEM THE WAY WE DID YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND BUT YOU DONT MOLLY! everything i have done was for Harry, for them, they asked me to figure out a way to save Harry  and i did i travled across the world to find a way to save him, so dont you ever question my husband or my friends actions” Y/N argued, everthing she did for the past 14 years was to find a way to save harry, Lily asked her to do it,  Lily trusted Y/N like James trusted Sirius.

Molly was shocked she hadnt known much of the witch before her, only that she was a well known unspeakable, at every meeting she was quite always sat between Sirius and Remus not say much, but tonight she new that Y/N was hot headed and would do anything to protect her frends and family she sighed and went back to the cooking, Remus let out a low laugh “you always were a hot head and you still are, trust me harry dont ever get on her bad side, that isnt the worst she can do” 

“oi, Thats my loving wife!” sirius smirked pulling Y/N kissing her temple “I new i can count on you, at least you didnt set the curtains on fire this time” 

“Dont push it fleabag” Y/N smirked, sending an apologentic smile to Molly across the Table “setting curtains on fire?” 

“It was summer 1976...” 

[disaster-bay-leaf]

Ok so these were the cutest~ (ㆁωㆁ)

4, 6, 7, 9, 12, 19, 22, 23, 28, 33, 34, 46, 47, 52, 59, 60, 63, 66, 83, 87, 88, 93, 99

I kno I listed like....all of them lmao but feel free to answer whichever you want and ofc you can ask me in return Baybe ( ◜‿◝ )♡

uHUHUHUHU much content for me to answer, im happy bebe 💜💜💜✨

4 - how do you take your coffee/tea?

hm coffee either Very Black No Sugar (for the sleep deprived me) or iced latte three sugars and theres no in between

and as for tea its All Black Teas That Exist, cinnamon-flavoured especially (but basically all teas that come to mind when u think “autumn”), and rooibos!!! okay basically the only oke i dont like is any type of green tea (which is sad because they look cool but my tastebuds said ✨no✨)

6 - do you keep plants?

honestly id l o v e too because i love plants but,,, im kinda horrible at taking care of them though still way better than the majority of my family (research helps) so the only plant i own is kinda a small-palm-tree-looking thing in a bigass glass jar that i saved from my mother’s plant-destructing hands and its mostly doing well (the ends of its leaves are starting to be yellow tho and im worried:((( )

7 - do you name your plants?

yes!!! though the current one was named by my sister and its called “pickett” after fantastic beasts shsjjsj

9 - do you like singing/humming to yourself?

oh god oh dude you have n o idea

i have absolutely n o singing voice but its something i do constantly to give my brain the right amount of stimuli so basically i listen to music 24/7 and hum to myself 99% of that time

12 - whats your favourite planet?

oh i actually didnt think about this for so long but either pluto (hes a planet screw nasa) or saturn (RINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) or venus (girls,,,and libra,,,)

19 - do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw in it?

okay im gonna be completely honest with yall and say that my every single try at keeping a journal failed spectacularly and i lost motivation after like a few months so my only journals rn are my fancy fake-leather-bound calendar to note tests and assessments into, a kinda roughed up notebook that i uses for noting down poems or scribbling or passing notes in class, and a kinda fancy bullet journal notebook that i used as a book of shadows for a while but since my fountain pen died i didnt touch it

22 - are you a morning person?

n o

i am so not a morning person but i wish i could be because honestly dawns are beautiful

but as it is rn im either sleep deprived all the time and loathe every second of being in an awake state or (if i have a few days of schoolbreak) my biological clock moves forward a few hours and i sleep 2am-10am

23 - whats your favourite thing to do on lazy days with zero obligations?

except for the fact that i dont remember the last time it happened, i would probably spend it drawing outside, watching anime with my sister and riding a bike around the forest

28 - sunrise or sunset?

i love sunrises because its so peaceful and everyone is asleep but also i subconsciously immediately correlate them with waiting for a train to take me to school (because thats basically the only time i see them) so its a bittersweet love especially with my fucked up biological clock

but sunsets are really really pretty too and i see them more often so i cant choose

33 - whats your fave pastry?

and isnt that a millior-dollar question dhsjjsjsj

either cinnamon rolls (i absolutely adore them) or that one specific type of cupcake-shaped-thing made out of shortcrust/bread/whatever its called and filled with vanilla pudding

34 - tell us about a stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

awwww this is cute

okay so basically my two favourite stuffed animals (i still have them, they sit in my wardrobe) were two teddy bears (like maybe 20cm high each of them) and one was pure brown and the other was silver-brown and they had stereotypical polish male names “Waldek” (read. Valdek) and Stefan (i think tho im not sure if i remember correctly, my memory is a feeble thing sometimes

46 - tell us the worst pun you can think of

what dog would never bite you? a hot dog *badumtss*

47 - what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

huh a year ago id say pineapple pizza but i guess i dont hate pineapples that much anymore (tho putting them on pizza is still an abomination) but i think that if id ever want to get rid of anything it would be parsley, i hate that freakin herb (does it count as food tho)

52 - what are your favourite memes of the year so far?

the ever given for sure shsjshjsjsjsjjsj

but bullying tramp stamps is gold and pure tumblr energy too

as for fandom memes: im in love with all keeping-up-with-the-todorokis variations and the fact that the entire bsd fandom looked at fukuchi and said “biTCH” and thats one of the only things we’re unanimous about

59 - whats your favourite myth?

i always liked the kora/persephone myth (though demeter is an overbearing parent to the nth power), loki and thor crossdressing at a party to get mjolnir back, atalanta because shes a queen and id politely ask her to kick my ass, and cassandra because she deserved better, and theres a l o t more because alas i was a mythology nerd but this post is long enough for me not to make this section 20 times longer sjjsjsjsjsjks

but there are a lot of slavic myths that are very cool too, though we dont know that much about them as about the greeks for example

60 - do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

o o o o h yeah i do like poetry because to create such a beautifully sounding thing with only words someone has to be a genius

some of my favs are: some works of nakahara chuuya (thank u bsd for introducing me to this man’s beautiful imagery in his works i swear to god the descriptions do it for me) (also his poem about having hangovers is a mood like i feel you buddy), the raven by ea poe (i know everyone likes it but hOLY DAMN THE INTER/INTRAVERSE RHYMES ARE LIKE,,, BREATHTAKING) (and aso im a slut for gothic horror), and many more but also That One Poem From Welcome To Nightvale about reaching the island in the west,,, only perfect vibes from it

63 - are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organised or kinda leave them be?

okay heres the thing. for anyone else both my playlist library and my bookshelf would be considered pure chaos of a mad man b u t they actually have a highly focused system which means that i sort them based on their vibes, lovability and (in case of books) their age and whether or not theyre a part of a series so i would say my bookshelf is rather organised (when a quarter of it isnt occupying my desk that is) and my music is more organised than not but sometimes it gets out of control and i have to sort it entirely again

66 - what would your ideal flower crown look like?

either entirely constructed of simple white daisies, entirely constructed of only white roses, or something that probably would win a “how many different coloured flowers can one fit in a flower crown” competition

or something purple (maybe not belladonna)

83 - whats some of your favourite album art?

god i dont know if it counts but hozier’s wasteland baby is probably one of my absolute favourites and no one shall beat that

“thrifted youth” (dalynn) and “standard deviation” (danny schmidt) have very aesthetic covers too

also the iconic p!atd too weird to live, too rare to die! album cover,,, its just iconic what can i say

and last but not least matt meason’s pink-and-black album covers (though bank on the funeral is really pretty too but like,,, “who killed matt meason” d o e s it for me and so does the 2017 tribulation single)

87 - what are some movies that you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

this is such a hard question because im not a really cinematography-oriented gal but i suppose that (at the risk of not going deep enough into the cinema world):

- the princess bride

- inception

- night at the museum

- SPIRITED AWAY

- forrest gump

- truman show

- E.T. (i cried okay)

- the lord of the rings (because damn me if this isnt one impressive adaptation)

- parasite

and one more personal recommendation: “ready or not” with samara weaving because goddamn i dont usually watch this genre but holy s h i t is it good

93 - whats the hairstyle you wear the most?

honestly just plain hair down (because having curly hair is a menace), split in the middle when i have longer hair and split on one side when its short

also low ponytails or half-up-half-down when im exercising, or double french braids when my hair doesnt cooperate enough to look presentable in any other form

99 - list some songs that resonate with your soul whenever you hear them

this is difficult because my music taste is a goddamn rollercoaster on a good day, but heres some:

- me and the sky from “come from away” musical (this is sort of a test song for my mental stability, if i cry i aint stable)

- dancing after death by matt meason (okay most songs by matt meason except for like,,, hallucinogenics maybe)

- tears and rain by james blunt

- i will follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie

- almost home by mxmtoon

- anything by hozier really but shrike especially

- payphone, the cover by alex g (i cried to this song so many times)

- burning pile by mother mother (can i roast all my problems please)

- long way from home and cleopatra by the lumineers

- autoclave by the mountain goats

oooh that was c o o o o o o o l as fuck thank you sm so much bebe (and sorry for the long post @everyone else)

[sunbellylou]

ask for writers !!

thank you @tomlinvelvetfics​ for tagging me! and thank you @soldouthaz for making this tag!

1. describe how you first started writing and when you first posted: i’ve been writing for years now, i started with het (ew!) 1d fics in portuguese back in 2011, it was actually those little imagines we used to write, don’t know if anyone remembers hehe. i posted them on a facebook page i was part of and i remember the first thingy i wrote was something with niall, but i really don’t remember any details (but was probably bad as heck since i was 11).

my first larry fic i probably wrote around 2012 when i found out the gay fanfics world haha, i don’t remember what it was or anything tbh, in my head i always wrote and posted gay fanfic.

my first fanfic in english was a little one shot (like 400 words honestly), it was a translation of a previous work i wrote portuguese. i posted it a year and a half ago and it’s called playground love (please don’t look).

2. which of your characters do you typically resonate most closely with? do you base any characters off of yourself?:  i usually write from harry’s pov because i love love l o v e describing louis and how angelic he is, so usually i tend to see louis as this ethereal ish character, cause it’s usually about harry falling in love with him. so whether i like it or no, i tend to be closer to harry’s characters in my fics, i always like to put a bit of myself on him and make the character real, you know?

3. where do you often find inspiration?: honestly? anything! i’ve written fics inspired by tumblr posts, tweets, pictures, songs, movies, things that happened in my real life, books. i literally wrote a pwp because i couldn’t stop thinking about leather pants (go read my robin hood au).

4. has quarantine helped or hindered your writing process?: in the beginning it was really helping me, i’d stay up till 4am everyday just writing like crazy, but then i got into the worst writer’s block and didn’t write shit for months. (and of course right when i started getting new ideas, i started working so i have no free time).

5. do you listen to music/noise while you write or do you prefer silence? always listen to music, all the time. i can’t do anything without music. mostly because my brain is a mess and music helps me concentrate. i usually go for some chill songs, some indie pop and stuff.

6. what is your biggest writing pet peeve in your writing or in general?: oh my god, when i’m writing and two or more paragraphs start with the same word, one after the other. it drives me crazy!!!! and sometimes i spend hours looking for ways to word differently the sentences, just so i don’t have two paragraphs starting with “the”.

also when my paragraphs are two (or one) lines long, i can’t! it has to have three or more lines.

7. describe your ideal writing setup: at the dining table, in the middle of the night, with some soft music playing in the background and some popcorn with me!

8. favorite time of day to write?: well, just said it hehe i like writing at night.

9. favorite genre to write + one you’d like to try writing in the future?: woah, that’s tough because i literally write any genres! i really love writing fantasy and horror stuff, but i feel like it’s not really well accepted in the fandom? (spec horror). and when people like it, they only read from bigger authors so i usually keep myself from writing those. aaand tbh i probably already wrote most of fic genres out there, so there isn’t much left to try.

10. do you struggle with writer’s block? how do you typically overcome it?  i’m writer’s block bitch and i do not know how to overcome her

11. what is the easiest part of your writing process and the most difficult? outlining tbh, i usually don’t (and it comes back to kick me in the ass). i always have too many ideas at the same time and can’t stick to one, so outlining and finding the right plot is really hard.

12. how do you come up with original characters? (if applicable): lately i haven’t really had the chance to come up with ocs, but when i wrote original books (not fanfics and stuff), i usually started with the gender and one outstanding personality trait and went from there.

13. what is your favorite and least favorite word?  i love the words ethereal and breeze, omg you’ll find them A LOT on my fics. and my least favorite word is growl.

14. what is one thing about your writing that you’re really proud of and one thing you hope to continue working at?: i think i describe the vibez in the scene really well, it’s my favorite thing to do. and i need to work more on building my sentences, because theyre always supermessy.

15. what work of yours has your favorite ‘verse/world building? how did you come up with it?:  definitely the fic i’m working on right now! i’m putting so much work on the world building since it’s a fantasy fic, so i’m planning every little detail about it. i hope other people like it too when they read it !!

16. what font and size do you write in? single spaced or double?: comic sans, 12pt, single spaced. don’t come at me.

17. what is a typo(s) you find yourself making consistently?: because english isn’t my first language, i always change like ‘th’ for ‘d’ (because it has a similar sound in portuguese), so catch me typing ‘de’ instead of ‘the’ or ‘dey’ instead of ‘they’.

18. (if applicable) do you separate fic writing from fandom?: i didn’t understand the question so i’m pretending i never read it hehe

19. what emotion is your favorite to write? which is the most difficult?: my favorite to write is probably,,, love/adoration, like harry looking at louis like he’s the whole world and thinking about how amazing he is? i love it.

and the most difficult is probably anger, i find it really hard to write like fights and stuff like that because usually i make the characters sound more sad than angry.

20. what is one thing you hope readers always take away from your works?: i never thought about that but,,, i hope they start finding joy in small things that happen in their day. that’s something i use a lot in my fics and i think it’s very important to bring it to real life. like enjoy that late night tea, showering in the morning, spending a summer day in the house, cleaning, etc.

21. what is the best and worst writing advice you’ve ever received?: i think the best advice is one i got from someone i no longer talk to, they told me this when i first started writing in english and it is to stop trying to write fancy or like native english speakers, because it’s much better to write simple sentences that i’m confident about than write sentences with words i barely know how to use.

and the worst advice is TO OUTLINE! i know i should maybe i dont know but leave me alone, i hate outlining bye

22. which one of your works would you most want to see turned into a film/television show?:  ok so,,, it’s a book i wrote like three years ago with original characters. it’s called great evil and i wrote it in portuguese. it’s full of violence and acid humor, about a very evil and sarcastic demon and an angry hunter. (one day i’ll translate that book and turn it into a larry fic)

23. do you write scenes chronologically or out of order?: chronologically. always

24. how do you handle criticism?: really bad. please be careful with what words you use. i’m already really hard on myself when it comes to my writing, so sometimes someone says something and (it might be dramatic but) i feel my world crumbling and i want to stop writing right away.

25. what is the advice you would give to someone who is looking to start writing?:  just,,, do it. there’s no right or wrong way to do it. there’s no such thing as too much or too little, bad or good plots. every idea is a good idea. write it for yourself, write something you like. go ahead and just do it. there’s always someone out there who will enjoy your work, no matter what.

26. what kind of feedback on your work always makes your day?: any comments make my day tbh, if you comment on my fic i’ll be forever grateful and will be smiling like a fool the whole day. honestly, even a “omg i loved it” comment can make my day.

27. which fic ‘verse of your own would you most like to exist in? which fic’s characters would you most like to befriend?: the one i’m writing 100%, please i want to live in a fantasy world. i wanna live in the water kingdom and have faerie louis as my king please.

and i’d like to befriend louis from my fic kiss me in your chevrolet, he’s a sweetheart and i must protecc.

28. what do you always enjoy getting asks about/wish people would ask about more?: anything! i rarely get asks so anything is good hehe

29. what has writing added to your life? how has it changed you?: it’s such a big part of my life, i spent all my teenage years writing and it really is what built my personality. it helped me being more creative with all aspects of my life and take life lightly, enjoy little things and moments. 

30. why do you write?: i just love having ideas and putting out there, playing with words and finding new ways to describe daily things.

boost yourself + tags!

1a. share the last sentence you wrote:

The path through the dense forest, covered in slippery rocks and burning trees is already difficult enough, but it becomes ten times worse when you’re being pestered by small, demonic creatures. 

2a. describe the wip you’re most excited about:

i’m honestly only working on one fic right now and i’m super duper excited about it

3a. share the piece of dialogue from one of your works you’re most proud of:

"I mean, I still don't plan on watching Star Wars, so…" 

The boy groans playfully, throwing his head back and Louis' eyes are suddenly really interested in the column of the guy's throat. 

"Americans really have no culture." He shoulders Louis slightly, warmth spreading through Louis' dainty shoulder and making him trip to the side lightly. With a faux outraged scoff, Louis waves a dismissing hand. 

“What do British people know about culture? All you do is drink tea and talk about the weather all day,” Louis teases with a mischievous gleam in his eyes. “Also, Star Wars is American, just so you know.” He rolled his eyes playfully, feeling surprisingly comfortable in his presence.

Skater Boy sighs comically, shaking his head, his wavy locks falling gracefully on the sides of his face and Louis can’t stop thinking about how soft his hair must be. 

“You got me there.”

not posted but i kinda like it (i’m not really good with dialogues, so it was really hard to find one lmao)

4a. share the best first and last lines from your work(s): I will do only those that are already published:

best first lines are from a halloween fic i never finished: 

Louis’ blue eyes snap open. His heart pounds fast inside his rib cage, making something as easy as breathing almost impossible. Sweat drenches his body and he feels like drowning. He feels too awake and wary as his breathing calms down, as well as his grips on the sheets under him loosen.

best last lines are from my 2019 BLFF there’s more than one place to call home: 

Their life was utter chaos, and they were definitely complete opposites, and sometimes Harry wished Louis would just shut the hell up, but at the same time, Harry wouldn’t change a single thing about his life, because he had Louis, and that was all that mattered to him. 

5a. link the last fic you read: it was the devil's in the details by @raspberryoatss​

6a. link the last work you published: you could take a lick (but it’s too cold to bite me)

7a. link to your ao3 (if applicable): cinnamons

8a. someone that inspires you: louis hehe 

9a. a comfort fic/work that you’ve been grateful for this year: tbh i don’t read a lot of fics, but there’s this work a friend of mine wrote. it was in portuguese and she ended up deleting it but it’s amazing.

10a. other writers that you’d like to tag! @bottomlwt @raspberryoatss 

[concentrateandpush]

Who's the Daddy?

-WARNING- 

This story mentions abortion.

So, it all started about 8 weeks ago.. I went out with the girls, it was such a good night and I saw a guy I used to date, Tyler. We were together when we were younger and I fell pregnant, he didn't want the baby, I did but he won and I got rid of it. After that, he couldn’t look at me because of the guilt he felt for forcing me to abort my own baby.

He looks older, he feels like a man now and not like the boy I used to know. "Hey, Cassie May" he says softly, touching my right arm. "Tyler Jay.. how are you? It's been.. a long time" I smiled at him. The girls in my peripheral vision are shaking their heads and I can see Emmy mouthing "Don’t even think about it". One drink, two drinks, three drinks and I'm back at his.

His room looks way more grown up, he has a double bed now.. where's the movie posters gone Tyler? Back to the future was his favourite. I know what he wants, if I'm honest, I cant even remember if we had good sex and I've had sex with way too many men to remember our sex. But I remember the phrases he would use, the words he would initiate with and that he liked my birthmark on my right upper thigh.

"You okay with this?" He asks as he removes my dress, I nod, he pulls my tights off and starts kissing my thighs. His body feels new, like a guy I've never slept with, I'm not familiar at all and I'm not sure if he is. He climbs up and starts to kiss me, he used to taste like orange tic tacs but he doesn’t now. As I feel his tongue on mine, I feel him inside me, he's big and he knows what he's doing. He thrusts deeper and harder the more we go along and circles my areolas with his thumbs.

It lasts a long time, I climax no less that 3 times and then he makes that face, this is the moment I remember him, that deviant look in his eye as he injects me with his sperm again causing my body to shake with anxiety remembering that the last time he did this, the time he implanted his young and made me kill it. "Get off" I scream at him, he looks scared, like he just did something he shouldn't have. "You said it was okay?" He bites quickly and reaches for my arm. "Don’t touch me" I shout as I run to the corner of the room, what am I doing? I knew what was going to happen, I knew he would want sex.

I call Emmy and it's like shes been expecting the call "Em, please come and get me, I'm at Tyler’s" I say as I dress myself before running down the stairs. "Cassie" he shouts after me "Cassie, we didn’t have to do that, it was okay if you just wanted to hang out" he says softly. "Tyler, it's not you, I wanted you to do that, I just.. I didn't expect to freak out, it's the.. the last time you had sex.." I try to explain but I cant bring myself to say it.

"I know" he says softly "I know I was hard on you, and I mean.. it turned out okay didn’t it? I mean we would have a 10 year old, were only 24 Cassie" he adds. I feel my body wanting to throw up, is he trying to justify what I did? Is he trying to say what he did was right. I just look at him, staring.. wondering what our child would have looked like.. and then there she is, Emmy hoots her horn, she's outside.

She lectured me the entire way home, "You know what he made you do, against your will".. "He took a choice from you that was yours".. amongst a million "I told you so's". Neither of us quite knew where this was all going to go, until now, 8 weeks later.

I don’t know why I'm doing this test, I know I'm pregnant. I feel nauseous, bloated, my boobs hurt and my period? What period? Why, out of every guy I've slept with, is it him who gets me pregnant.. twice. There it is, two little lines, two pink lines.. what the fuck am I meant to do now. "Cassie? Cassie?! What are you doing? You've been in there ages.. CASSIE?" My brother shouts.

"Um two minutes" I shout.. my brother, Joe, and I are close, he hates Tyler. He's going to kill me. I put the test in my back pocket, open the door and run over to my room. "She's feisty today" he laughs and then realises I'm crying. I'm lying in my bed, facing the wall and I hear him come in softly. "What is it Cas?" He strokes my hair and says "It doesn't matter what it is, you can tell me".

"I did it again" I say, softly. "Did what? Cas, what are you on about?" He asks. He is so patient, we've always been so close, he has always been my biggest fan. "I went out with the girls.. a while ago now and I bumped into Tyler" he nods at me, innocently having no idea what I'm going to say next. "I slept with him" I say, quickly. "He's such a dick Cas, I dont know why you.. why are you telling me this now?" I watch the cogs turn in his mind and his face turns green "You're not.. are you?" he says softly and I nod in response.

"You're so fucking stupid Cas, you know how horrible he was last time, you know you're worth way more than he offers you.. Cassie, you-", I cut him off, "I know all this, Joe.. I know" I say laying on my bed holding my stomach. "You're keeping it" he snaps "There is no way you're getting rid of it, I saw how much it damaged you before, you were a shell of a girl for years." I nod "Yeah I-" he stops me and says "No excuses Cas.. wait, what?". "I'm keeping this baby Joe, I'm not telling him, I know he wont want it, it's my choice, he doesn’t need to know" I say as I rub my stomach. "Oh, Cas" he says tearfully as he holds me letting me nuzzle in to his neck.

Now my brother knows.. there's only one other person I need to tell.. Emmy, my stomach is in knots, I call her and tell her to come over. She walks in with a McDonalds "You on? You sound all hormonal and stuff" she says as she throws the bag at me, how does she even know? "Emmy" I say seriously knowing it’ll make her listen. I reach into my hoodie pocket and hand her the test, she takes it off me and it takes a moment to process.. "No.. you're, you're pregnant?" she cries. "I'm pregnant" I cry with her.

"When did you find out?" She asks, "literally 15 minutes before I called you" I laugh. "Who's the dad Cassie?" She asks, then the penny drops "Not Tyler, anyone but Tyler..". I sit there and just shake my head crying, I don’t want it to be Tyler's, why couldn't it be anyone, literally anyone else’s. "I'm not telling him" I say firmly, "Too fucking right you aren’t telling him" she says in response.

The days have gone super fast and it's my 12 week scan today, I'm so excited, Emmy is coming too. I reach the hospital and wait in the waiting room for what feels like an eternity. "Cassie Rovers?" I hear my name on the tanoy. Oh God, that's me, Emmy gets up and walks over but I feel overwhelmed, everything has built up to this, I'm so ready but my body isn’t moving. Next thing you know I have a nurse kneeling at my lap and Emmy holding my hand "Count all the red things you can see", "Breathe with me", "In and out Cassie".. panic attacks, the bane of my life.

"I'm glad you're feeling better, it's an overwhelming experience, seeing your baby for the first time" the nurse says. I watch her spread the cold gel on my tiny bump and look around in there. "Here’s your baby" she smiles as she turns the screen to me "Do you want to know the sex?" She asks, I look at Emmy and she nods. "Yes please" I say eagerly. "Its a little girl" the nurse tells me smiling as I cry with my eyes shut and I feel Emmy hold my tight, crying herself.

I'm 32 weeks gone, baby is amazing, she kicks me every second of the day, which is getting painful the more she grows. Emmy moved in with us, her and Dave broke up and she stayed at mine most of the time, she has offered to help with baby until she finds somewhere. I'm currently lying in bed, I have to pick up the pram and crib today, I cant wait to get the nursery together now. I'm lucky my parents have such a huge house, I am blessed to not worry about money through this.

I feel like an invalid not being able to carry things, luckily Joe is home today so he can perform uncle duties and go to fetch the pram and crib for me. I need to grab some groceries when were out.. well, nutella.

People are so different, as I walk through this supermarket, people treat me so weirdly because of the bump. Fuck, its him, I haven't spoken to Tyler since I ran out of his apartment that night. Fuck. Fuck. "Hey Cassie May" he taps me from behind, I turn around and see him look down at my huge bump, he's with a girl.. "Hey, Tyler" I smile awkwardly looking at the girl with him "This is Amber.. my girlfriend" he says reluctantly as he looks at my belly.

I smile and wait for him to form conversation.. I know what's going through his head. "Ah when are you due?" Amber asks, she seems nice. "8 weeks left" I say smiling at her. "Ah we’ve just found out, I'm due in November" Amber says smiling at me. I don’t know how to handle this, how can I be okay with the fact that I'm also carrying his baby. not only that but he's happy with her keeping her baby, but made me.. I suppose he might have changed. I start hyperventilating, trying to gather myself and steady myself with he cart, everything is jumping out at me, I cant get my breathing right "Cassie?!" I see Emmy run for me before I collapse.

I come around on the floor of the store. "Cassie? Cassie are you okay?" Tyler asks, why is he still here?. "Yeah, I'm okay, did I fall?" I ask rubbing my bump protectively. "No I caught you" he says. "You've done enough damage, go on, leave" Emmy says angrily. "What have I done?" Tyler asks, both of them leaning over me at this point. Tyler looks at my bump, at me and then at Emmy and back to my bump. I don’t know what to say because, poor Amber is stood here newly pregnant and happy, I could keep it to myself.

"Am I missing something?" Amber asks as Emmy helps me off the floor, with difficulty. "No.. we should go" Tyler says as he pulls her away looking back at me.

It's later that night,  3AM, Emmy is sleeping, Joe is sleeping and Mom and Dad are out, drinking. I hear my phone buzz, "Come to the meeting point".. I know its Tyler instantly, we used to meet behind the garage in my garden, I look out and see him stood there, he looks drunk. I walk down the stairs cradling my baby bump in my dressing gown and out the garden causing the stone patio to make a noise and the garden lights to come on.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him anxiously. "Is it mine?" He asks, showing no emotion what so ever, I look down, I don’t know if I even want to tell him. "It is, isn’t it?" He says aggressively "Now everything in my life is coming together, you have to fuck it up for me" he rants. I turn around and begin to walk up to the house again, trying my best not to cry in front of him. "Fucking tell me" he shouts pulling me around to him. "Yes, she's yours, I don’t want you involved, you caused enough trouble last time" I say angrily as I storm up the path.

I notice he's gone quiet, no noise at all and I look up and the door that's a few foot in front of me. "I'll fucking do it" he shouts, I turn around and he's holding a gun to his head. "Tyler, put the gun down" I say walking towards him slowly, "You don’t want to do that" I say holding my hand out. "No, maybe you're right, maybe this bullet needs to go through someone else" he turns the gun on me and I start to panic. My hands start to shake and my legs go to jelly, I hold my belly and crouch down as far as I can "Please, Tyler, I will never tell her about you, I'll never tell Amber about this" I beg. "Shut up" he shouts kicking my foot as he cries. "Cassie? CASSIE" I hear my dad shout and run down the garden throwing himself on Tyler and then a gun shot sounds.

I’m crouched on the floor, hyperventilating and trying my best to move but I’m stiff. I hear my Mom run down shouting my Dads name and in no time, Joe and Emmy run down the stairs. Joe quickly runs in and takes the gun from Tyler and flips Dad over who is covered in blood. "Dad?! DAD" I shout as I pull myself over to him "I'm okay, I'm okay" he says as he pulls himself from Tyler as he still sobs on the floor. "My arm, that's all" he says as he stands up and I'm left on the floor looking at Tyler.

"You never come near me or my daughter, ever again" I tell him sternly as he stands. "Our daughter" he says before spitting on me and I just sit there crying. "Fuck" I moan, "Can you help me up?" I say to Emmy as she pulls my round, sore body from the grass. "I need to wash" I say walking up to the house, the ambulance already outside for my dad. "Cas" Emmy shouts to me, trying to check that I’m alright.  "Not now, Em" I shout back walking in to the house. I get in the bathroom and lock myself in, crying out loud alone as I lean against the bath.

Two weeks has passed since that night. I'm okay, it's just so hard knowing this baby that I love so much, is his, yet he wanted to kill me. "Not long now" I say smiling as I rub my underbelly. I've been having Braxton hicks all night, they don’t seem to go when I'm moving.. but it's too early for labor. My stomach cramps up as I move positions, god, if Braxton hicks are this bad imagine labor. It's so intense, I breathe it out slowly with my eyes shut and I hear Emmy barge through the door.

"OMG what's happening?" She shouts as she sits on the bed next to me rubbing my bump "Lean on me, I'm right here I'm not going anywhere" she says softly as I nuzzle into her. Its stopped thank god. "It stopped" I sigh with relief. "What's happening" she demands. "Its okay, it's too early for labor, I'm only 34 weeks, and it's my first time, she's not coming yet" I say calmly as she looks at my seriously. "I think it's worth checking" she says before calling my midwife and asking her over.

She turns up around 10 minutes later, I made the choice to get the closest midwife to me. Once she’s in my room, I nervously pull my panties off and spread my legs. The check doesn’t hurt, but it’s certainly uncomfortable. "Baby is doing good and should be here today or tomorrow" the midwife smiles checking me over. "She cant be, I'm 6 weeks early" I say. "Sometimes we get things wrong, baby has measured large every scan so it's possible that you were further ahead than we said" she says and I look at Emmy panicked. "I'm going to head off, give me a call when things come together" she smiles and takes her bag out to the car driving off.

I lay on my bed for a few minutes before speaking, I look at Emmy and she hasn’t realised what this means. "Emmy, if I'm full term.. you understand what this means?" I ask as she smiles "yeah the baby's coming we get to meet her earlier". I shake my head "Emmy, its not Tyler’s" I say softly. Emmy goes nuts, shouting and screaming that I should have "worked it out sooner". "Who's is it?" She asks curiously. I cant concentrate on working this out with the pain I'm in, I lean my head back and breathe through the contraction taking deep breaths. I don’t know what’s more unsettling, the pain, the fact that I have no idea who the father is or that Emmy looks like she’s about to pass out seeing my wriggle in pain. 

Once the contraction stops, I look back at my calendar working out people and parties.. its Simon's. Simon is a guy I went to uni with, he is so beautiful and kind, truly a gentleman. "I cant call him Em, I cant call someone I haven't spoken to since a drunk night out" I remember the night. "Simon asked me out, I told him I don’t date.. I woke up in his and he had made me breakfast. I didn’t speak to him after that, but he really is lovely.. I guess I was scared about how I felt for him. Hes been through so much. I love him to bits" I say softly. "You never said that about Tyler" Emmy says "not even as a throwaway comment.. maybe you should call him".

I pick up my phone and scroll through my contacts, Simon.. call. He picks up after the first ring. "Hey Simon, can we talk? I.. I'm so sorry that I have to tell you like this but I-I'm having a baby, like right now.. and it’s yours but if you don’t-, yeah, of course, its 143 Dreadwood Lane. See you in a minute". He's coming over.. how is he so nice.. "He's coming" I say to Emmy as she smiles.

The contractions are a lot harder to cope with, I'm having to squat, it's the only relief I can get. I hear the door and then Emmy talking his ears off. Is this really the first way I'll see him in all this time? I'm currently on all fours, in a baggy jumper and shorts, panting, sweating and trying not to scream. "Hey" he says, stood in the door holding a bunch of flowers looking down at me. He puts them on the side and kneels next to me putting his hand on my back, "Here, this should help" he says as he rubs my lower back. It does help, so much.

"I did a bit of googling on my way over" he laughs "Emmy said the contractions are close" he smiles. I nod "7 minutes apart". At this point everyone is in and out of my bedroom, Mom, Dad, Emmy, Joe and now Simon. But, Simon stays with me until this contraction ends. "I'm so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, if I'm being honest, I thought it was someone else’s. I thought I was 32 weeks but according to my midwife, I'm 41 weeks, making me overdue" I tell him. "Its okay, I'm sorry for the other guy, it must have been awful for him when he found out it wasn’t his baby" he says sincerely. "You have no idea.." I laugh.

"I'll always be here, I'll be a good Dad" he says. I look at him and smile "I know.. I know you will" I say softly. I don’t know if it's the hormones or just him but he is so attractive, I look at his brown eyes and his perfectly shaped lips. He leans forward and tucks my hair behind my ear. I see him moving in closer again and kissing me passionately. "Oh my god" Emmy shouts as she walks in, seeing me on top of Simon kissing him, she runs out and shuts the door and myself and Simon laugh.

A few hours pass, Simon's in the kitchen and Emmy comes in to the bedroom, the contractions are 5 minutes apart, my waters are still intact. "You dirty slag" Emmy says laughing at me and I laugh. "Your dad just told him about Tyler" she says. I nod at her and rub my bump leaning my head back feeling another contraction coming. "You're okay, breathe it through" she says softly brushing my hair from my face. "Its all in my back" I moan out as I breathe, Simon walks past the door and sees that I'm in pain and comes in to rub my back "That's it Cassie, good job" he says softly as I labor on my back, spreading my legs to ease the pressure. The contractions ends soon and I know I just need a second with the baby, nobody else. 

"Can I have some time alone?" I ask Emmy and Simon, "if I need you I can call you back" I smile. I lay back and talk to baby as I rub my sore and swollen tummy. "Now, I need you to be super strong for me through this. I love you so much already and cant wait to meet you. I'm sorry I've not been the best through this pregnancy but I'm going to look after you forever and always" I say softly.

"So.. how come you're such a nice guy?" Emmy asks Simon. "What do you mean?" He replies, laughing a little. "Not many guys would hear that they're about to have a baby and actually turn up.. especially with flowers" she says bluntly. "Cassie hasn’t told you about us has she?" He says laughing as Emmy looks furious, clearly thinking I’ve withheld juicy information. "Nothing like that" he chuckles "My Mom.. she died when we were in uni, Cassie came back with me after a night out and my Mom had fallen, she had cancer and was pretty fragile. Cassie spent the night talking with her, stroking her hair, making her tea and doing crosswords. The next morning, I told my Mom that I'd marry Cassie even if it took the rest of my life, she said 'I'll do what I can from my side' and then she passed away". "That's beautiful and I’m sorry about your Mom, she would be so proud of you" Emmy says as she hugs Simon "Thank you for being here, she deserves someone like you, she's been through a lot".

I carry on talking to baby, just whispering and slowly rubbing small circles around my tummy. It gets pretty intense and I lean back against the headboard as I get over a contraction, as I move back I hear a pop and feel a gush between my legs. "Guys" I shout "GUYS" I shout even louder with a slight moan. Simon runs in first, Emmy to follow and then my Mom, Dad and Joe. "Okay, my waters have broke, I need someone to call my midwife, someone to take me to the hospital and I need my bag" I order, almost like my maternal instincts took over and I felt okay to dictate what happened. "I want Simon and Emmy with me when I go to the hospital" I say hoping I won’t offend my parents and Joe.

The journey to the hospital was fast and my contractions are on top of each other now. Before we get out of the car, I tell my birthing partners "Right, I'm doing this as naturally as possible okay? No epidurals, nothing foreign goes inside my body" Emmy nods and Simon salutes me "Yes boss" he smiles at me before picking me up with ease and carrying me into the hospital. The midwife meets us and takes us to the room, luckily, thanks to private healthcare, I get a birthing suite. "Okay sweetheart, here's your gown, get comfortable, I'm just going to get my stuff and I'll be back".

As she leaves I get a contraction and it cramps my entire body, Simon is still holding me at this point and I turn to him and shout "don’t you dare put me down" as I moan and scream through the pain. It's almost constant, now, the contractions, they’re one on top of the other. Eventually it dies down and Emmy undresses me and helps me into my gown when Simon turns on the pool. "You're going to end up with this guy, he's definitely interested" she smiles as I try to catch my breath and mutter "I think I need to push".

"Right, let's have a look" the midwife says as I get in the water "this is going to sting" she says as she pushes her fingers up to my cervix. "You're an 8 lovely, not long now" she says softly. "I need to push now" I say sternly. "Is there a lot of pressure?" She asks. I nod and feel another contraction coming. "No pushing okay, just hold on a little while longer" she says, I snap back "I cant do this, there’s way too much pressure, I need to get it out, its freaking me -" I rant and Emmy stops me. "Cassie, baby isn’t quite ready, yeah? Just hold on and when shes ready, you can push, you don’t want to hurt her do you" she says calmly, she knows I’d kill myself before hurting baby. I shake my head and close my legs, tightly, my face turning red as I hold my need to push in.

I labor for 45 minutes more before the midwife comes back. "Can you please check me? I must be ready by now?" I ask her softly knowing how rude I was earlier. She puts her fingers in and smiles "good things come to those who wait, baby is ready when you are" she smiles. "When you get another contraction, you can push okay, so tell me when you get one" she says softly.

"It.. It's coming" I say gently as I grab the back of my knees and open my legs as wide as I can. "Feel my fingers? I need you to push against them" she says "big breath and bare down" she says softly. I pull my legs harder and push down hard, I'm already struggling and it's the first push. "Good girl, and again". I push and hold it a little longer, letting go and spluttering as I pant, moaning away the breath I had held. 

I’m clearly focusing hard, but I start to get irritated by the water "Get me out" I say sternly "I don’t want to push in the water" I say before Emmy supports me out of the pool and over to the bed. It's much more comfortable and I feel more in control. "I need rope, to pull" I say to the midwife as she pulls a rope out and attaches it to the bars of the bed. I put my feet against the foot bar and pull on the rope as I push as hard as I can "hnnnng! Ungggghh" I moan as I see Simon smile at me "You're doing it Cassie".

I pull at the rope again pushing as much as I can, the midwife coaching me "harder, love, you need to push harder". "You've got this Cas" Emmy says softly as she watches baby forming inside the bulge between my legs. "Fuck it hurts so bad" I shout as I hold my opening tight and realise how much progress I've made. "Come on little girl, come out for Mommy" I moan. straining as I feel myself and how close she is. "That's it, talk to your baby" the midwife says.

I turn and notice Simon crying quietly and I put my hand out to him and he holds it gently "it's a little girl?" He says softly and I nod smiling, wiping the sweat off my forehead. "Push here, where my fingers are" the midwife shouts and I bare down pushing as hard as I can. "You're crowning Cas" Emmy shouts happily. "One big push now and her head will be out" the midwife says. "Come on, you can do it Cass, push" Simon says, excited to get her out.

"Okay, let's get you squatting over here, it should open you up nicely and let your body do some of the work for you" the midwife says as I waddle to the squatting stool, wary of her head that's nearly out between my legs. I sit on the stool and push as I squat "OOWWW". "That's her head" the midwife smiles "reach down and feel your baby" she says guiding my hand down. I laugh and take Simon's hand to her head, I notice his eyes fill with tears and I smile a little “What colour’s her hair?” I ask him and he smiles “Blonde, just like yours”.

"Not long now dear" the nurse says as she massages my upper abdomen "just a couple more pushes" she adds. I give a big push and moan out "Gahhh" as I feel the shoulders push down on me. "I need to get on my back" I say as I slide off the stool, onto my knees and then lay back on the floor opening my legs up "Si, hold this leg, Em, this one". The midwife follows my lead and comes between my legs. "That's it, listen to your body and push for me" she says as I bare down hard. "Long and strong dear" she says as I push and push and push.

"Shoulders are here, keep going, harder, that's it, come on, there we go" she pulls baby from me and places her on my chest as she cries the sweetest little cry. I pant out of breath and feel my new born’s heart beat right next to mine. "Hello little one, I've waited so long for you" I smile as I hold her little hand. I stroke her back gently as the midwife tends to the afterbirth and before long she helps me over to the bed to lay down with baby. 

"That was the most badass thing I've ever seen" Emmy says crying. I turn to Simon, who's in tears at this point and he sits next to me on the bed. "Want to hold your daughter?" I smile as he takes her with out a second thought to his chest. "She's got your eyes" I say to him smiling as I stroke her head. "She had your nose" he laughs. "What are you going to name her?" Emmy asks. I feel there is only one name right for her, Simon's Moms name. "Angela" I say softly "we're calling her Angela" I smile at Simon as he pulls me tight to him kissing my forehead. "She would love her so much" he says sweetly.

[mandaloriangf]

okay. tlou2 spoilers will be under the cut. im having a hard time with writing this because i really do feel like a lot of people need to be warned about some of the contents to this game, but any trigger warnings would be an inherent spoiler. so if you only want to know about trigger warnings and the spoilers that come with it, please feel free to pm or ask off anon and i’ll let you know.

everything else is under the cut

seriously. be warned. 

so i want to preface this by saying i have seen video and photos that confirm the leaks. i haven’t seen proof of everything, but i’ve seen enough to be inclined to believe everything. there’s been conflicting reports about certain aspects so some you’ll have to take with a grain of salt since i dont have proof of those things.

(also this is kind of jumbled since im upset and im finding a lot of new stuff every time i look at twitter, so i’ll make more posts if i find anything else out)

anyway, a month ago the plot was supposedly leaked on 4chan, but it was so stupid that no one believed it. sound familiar? im sensing a pattern here. 

video began getting leaked yesterday and spread like wildfire. rumor has it a disgruntled naughty dog employee did it. for those unaware, recently the company was exposed for crunching their employees and horrible working conditions. 

this is the 4chan leak

since its hard to read heres a summary:

the muscle lady is named abby. she is the daughter of one of the surgeons joel killed. she vows revenge against joel since it destroyed her life. theres a cult that ellie, dina, and jesse are sent to go take care of, but jesse dies. 

ellie goes out for revenge which takes her to seattle where she ends up running into abby. abby kills joel. (i can confirm that joel dies. i have seen video of it and a picture of ellie at his grave.) ellie is captured and kills a bunch of abby’s people in her escape. 

the second half of the game you play abby hunting down ellie. in the end, abby and ellie fight. ive seen the video of it and its honestly really violent. at one point abby takes dina by the hair and smashes her face multiple times. its super awful to watch, honestly, and i can stomach a lot. according to this leak, as abby, you kill ellie and its implied that then ellie’s people will hunt abby down, thus a circle of revenge. 

okay so. yeah. a bunch of that has been confirmed. 

i will say that one thing that doesn’t add up is that jesse and joel die at the same time. i just saw a cutscene between ellie and dina where dina confirms this. she also says “we have a family.” theres been a persistent rumor since yesterday that dina is pregnant with jesse’s kid and wants to raise the baby with ellie, so that all adds up. 

i cannot confirm or deny that ellie and dina die. i have not seen that happen, but its still possible. 

so yeah. its a fucking mess and im not wasting $60 on this shit. not when nd is already treating their employees like shit. this feels JUST like tlj/tros and endgame all over again. 

for anyone that hasn’t played the first game but wants to know why this sucks so bad, heres a brief summary.

joel is a single father to his 12 year old daughter sarah at the beginning of the zombie apocalypse. sarah is killed by a solider and dies in his arms, sending him down into depression and violence. 

decades later, joel is older and hardened, working as a smuggler. he is hired by a militia group called the fireflies to smuggle 14 year old ellie out of the city since she is immune and they want to make a cure/vaccine. 

the story follows the two of them as they travel across the united states, meeting other survivors and growing as a pair. at first joel is cold and quiet while ellie is bouncy and energetic. they bond over their year together and become father/daughter. at the end, they get to the fireflies, but because the infection grows on the brain, they’d have to kill her. joel massacres his way through the fireflies and saves her. he brings her back to his brother’s settlement and lies, saying that there’s bunch more immunes so they dont need her. when she asks him if everything he’s said is true, he tells her it is and she goes, “okay.” 

i know its hard to understand how amazing the game is from that, but trust me. they’ve taken one of the best developed relationships in video games and they’ve butchered it. troy was right when he said people will either love it or hate it.

[maknaesdancersrappers]

july 21

hello. july 21 is a special day for me and you dont have to read this because its just me venting out my thoughts and emotions as long as i can without word/character limits on any platform.

july 21 is my maternal grandmother’s birthday. when i was born, my mom went abroad often and my dad had the regular 9 to 5 job plus extra hours for commute. so growing up with my sisters who are 5 and 7 years older, our grandparents and aunts took care of us.

im also more fond of my maternal grandmother since my paternal grandmother lived far away and we rarely ever get to see her (usually only during summers and once she stayed with us for awhile) until she passed away from Alzheimer's.

during the long hiatus i took early this year (late december to mid-march?), a lot has happened in my life. my health was put at risk because of the ash fall brought by the volcano eruption (january 12); i had allergies for weeks - i couldnt breathe properly, let alone sleep because of it. it was about to be the second year after graduating college and i have yet to get a job; the pressure from my family - and myself - was so unbearable that i caught myself slipping back to my very, very, very dark thoughts. and the worst thing that happened in those three months: my grandmother passed away. in filipino, grandmother is lola (loh-lah) and i’d like to use that for the rest of this post.

if you ask anyone in their neighborhood, any of our family friends, and relatives, everyone will tell you that her death was sudden. because everyone knows her as the sometimes-funny-sometimes-cranky old lady that owns the convenience store at the corner of the street. she was 96. she was 96 but she refused to get a wheelchair or use a walking stick even though her knees started to hurt after a few steps. she was 96 but didn’t need glasses to read most of the time. she was 96 but didn’t have any maintenance medication. ever since she reached her 90′s, she had gone to the town clinic at least twice because she fell over (from loss of balance) and busted her head. yet she would walk the next day like she doesnt have stitches on her scalp. she hated going to the doctor, she’d always claim that nothing hurts and the only thing she wanted the doctor to fix was her hearing (its as weak as how her eyesight is clear)

i wasnt the only one in the family that got severely affected by the ash fall. my lola also had trouble breathing because of it. she also went to the doctor for it and they only prescribed her antibiotics. please remember this info. this should be around early february

she got a little better but her voice was very hoarse from the phlegm. even before this, lola had little to no appetite and would only eat when someone else is eating (usually if it’s us, her granddaughters). and by little to no appetite, i mean her whole meal would be three spoonfuls of rice and one piece/chunk of whatever the main dish/ulam is. whenever we ask if she had eaten (even though we know she hadnt) she’d always claim that she already has (this eventually became a little joke in our family.) we took this sign as her dementia getting worse (although she was never really diagnosed with it, we had naturally assumed it because she would always repeatedly tell us stories that she insists happened even though some have been debunked and there were times she forgets our names if we havent visited in a while.)

after she gets better from the cough (idk the real diagnosis of it), her legs started to swell and because her routine had been reduced to being bedridden for most of the day, my aunts thought it was just poor circulation. it took two weeks before they brought her back to the town clinic and again, they just prescribed her with some medicine. everything after this is blurry to me until feb 21

my mom, being the eldest, made the decision to bring lola to the hospital. she’s, rightfully, unsatisfied with the town doctor’s diagnosis and prescriptions because lola is in so much pain and her legs were still swollen and its been weeks. i was with her in the emergency room while my mom and aunt did the paper work and the staff ran tests on lola. i’m contacting my sister who was in singapore and we’d video call to entertain lola since she was very adamant - and vocal - that she did not want to be admitted to the hospital bc she was “fine.” goSh she made so many hospital staff laugh because she would always announce whenever she had to fart. after like 2 hours, we move her into a ward and my mom tells me that i’ll have to stay overnight to watch over her. i was very apprehensive of this idea. i honestly did not want to. seeing her in pain was bad enough, but the fact we were in a room with other people and she was crying out loud made me really anxious but it was final. my mom, aunt, and uncle all went back home just to have dinner and they’ll come back since lola’s doctor would be coming by to give the results and for that hour they were gone? i lost it.

lola started talking/praying out loud, asking god why she was in so much pain, asking what she had done to deserve this; and i didn’t know what to do but hold her hand and kiss her head. i couldn’t even show her i was crying. when my mom got back, i told her i cant do it and she eventually convinced my other sister to join me, who cancelled her plans for the next day. that night, i did not and could not fall asleep. after a few hours, her doctor finally came by and dropped a bomb on us. he was kind enough to talk to my mom and aunt behind the curtains in the softest voice ever while i helped the nurse with lola, but i could hear him crystal clear.

cancer of the liver. 

they even momentarily walked back to lola to touch her stomach and stepped back out. i almost thought i misheard, but my mom and aunt’s expressions were too grim that it basically confirmed it. later on, my mom finally told me and explained that the antibiotics she had been taking weeks ago were too strong for her because of her lifestyle and diet. there were tumors in her liver and surgery wouldn’t do anything. i dont remember what i did aside from sketching on the journal i brought, but until i got home at 10am the next day, i did not sleep a wink.

feb 22. when i woke up at 2PM, i was told that they had lola discharged from the hospital. there was nothing we could do but try to ease the pain to the best of our abilities and wait. starting that day, i went over to lola’s house to help out with feeding her, giving her medicine, and just trying to keep her happy by randomly smiling at her when i see her looking around or dancing to no music.

feb 24. these were the early weeks of covid - ph hadn’t had a case yet, i believe, but travel restrictions were being implemented. my sister in singapore was doing everything to make sure she could come home because we don’t know when, but we know lola was leaving soon. of all the things our mom told her not to do, she cried at the entrance of the embassy and by the grace of god, someone took pity and listened to her (bc she was denied entry since she had a small cough) and she was able book a flight at midnight and be home in 4 hours. that afternoon, when i arrived at lola’s house, that was the very first time i stood at the doorway to greet her like i usually did and she didn’t smile. not even the corners of her lips moved. she was in that much pain that she couldn’t even greet me back like she always did, which was to smile and nod her head. that night, we all decided to sleepover there (with the exception of my dad since he had to feed our dogs at home). i take my usual seat in the living room and i notice a white dress that i remember (from photos) being lola’s 50th anniversary wedding gown and without being told, i know it was what she was going to wear for the very last time.

feb 25. being notoriously a late sleeper, i was about to go to sleep at 2AM when i hear lola groaning and whining out loud. when i checked her, her stubborn lil ass was trying to get out of bed alone!!! so i obviously panic and try to wake up anyone by exclaiming that lola had to go to the bathroom - she’s been wearing adult diapers for weeks now but refuses to go in them and is adamant about bringing her to the bathroom so she could relieve herself - so me, and the same aunt and uncle from the hospital, assisted her into this modified chair so she could pee and the only thing i could do was hold her hand, like always. after that, my uncle said he’d watch over her and lie down beside her on the bed so in case she needs to go again, he can take care of it himself. after falling asleep, i heard a few hours later that my sister from SG arrived. when i woke up later on, my sisters and i presented ourselves to lola bc its been so long since she last saw us complete, and this time she was able to give us a small nod of acknowledgement. i realized that none of my uncles and aunts went to work that day, thinking it was just so we could be complete since my sister was home. but then i overhear them making plans to have a priest come over for the sacrament of anointing of the sick - which based on my last and only experience (my grandfather/lolo), this must be the day. during the session, a few of my aunts and an uncle cried. my sisters cried, too, but i forced myself not to. when the priest left, i don’t know how long, but suddenly, she was gone. i didn’t know how to react. this was the second time i’ve seen someone pass away before my very eyes. everyone was crying out for forgiveness, kissing lola’s head, but i couldn’t move one bit. i was finally crying, but i couldn’t move at all.

3 days. from learning about the real problem with lola, it only took 3 days for it to take her away from us. not even a week, or a month. the only bright side to this was that she’s finally relieved of all the pain that’s been causing her suffering. 3 days of knowing her time was very, very short, but it was still a shock when she finally left. 

for the longest time, lola’s goal was to reach the age of 100 because apparently our government will reward her with 100,000 pesos (like 2k usd) for doing so. she wanted to reach 100 because she wanted to leave us with some inheritance haha. and everyone believed she could do it. no one doubted her. until this happened. maybe its just me, but i feel foolish... completely stupid and ignorant for knowing deep down in my heart that she would reach 100 that losing her 3 years prior her goal hurt me more than ever. 

it’s been 5 months but remembering her death still makes me cry. i have dreams (and you all know im a lucid dreamer) where she’s still alive and we’re talking about how she beat cancer at 96 in just a few months, but then i’ll remember that she didn’t and the dream in front of me just shatters and i’ll wake up empty and crying. i have never felt so much regret after she passed bc all she wanted was to see me graduate and it was up to me to show her that i got my first job and give her a portion of my first salary, but i couldn’t even do that. i waited too long and now its too late. her ideal type for me was a rich atenean boy who could drive 😂 and i still couldn’t give her that bc im so anti-men. there was a time i was so scared to go back to lola’s house bc she called me out during dinner - “baket ka malungkot/why are you sad?” - when all i was doing was browsing through my phone, scarily enough going through another “episode”, and the last person i’d ever want to know about my possible depression was her. of all my suicidal episodes, i’ve always resolved them by thinking of her - that i will continue living because i wanted to see her smile. because i wanted to see her happy.

i miss her so much. i wish i had been a better granddaughter to her. the small things i’ve done for her were never enough. in the past 5 months, i’ve only dreamt about her twice (actually being with her) and both times made the day so hard to function. i havent moved on and i dont know if im the only one. i dont know if i’ll ever move on. she would have been 97 today. whenever she forgets my name, i’ll tell her i have the same birthday as her and she’ll remember me. she’ll say “ahhh rosean! july 10!”

if someone read through this, im sorry you had to go through that mess. but thank you for hearing me out. no, i’ll thank you the way my lola would thank people, verbatim:

thank you very much from the bottom of my heart.

[dolphin-enthusiast]

hello there buttercup!! 🌟💝☀ it's lovely to see you again this night, morgy dear! i hope today was much better for you than yesterday, you do only deserve nice and pleasant days after all dolcezza 💞💞 (1/12?)

"in all seriousness, i'm sorry to hear that yesterday was so terrible for you my darling, but the hard part is over, you got through it! its hard when things get overwhelming, but please remember that it's okay to take a step back and get through it one day at a time!! make sure to do some things that you find relaxing/enjoyable, and if you do need/want a little cheering up at any time, don't be shy to let me know!! i have a lot of tricks up my sleeve hehe 💓 (2/12)

and oh my, you like cheesecake too dear?? ahhh it's one of my favorite classic desserts!! my favorite kinds are strawberry, key lime, and this special family recipe of mine,, it's a limoncello cheesecake with a touch of strawberry compote, it's especially refreshing during the summer! oh goodness, i'll have to make it for you sometime, i bet you'd love it! ✨ (3/12?)

ah, and the accident?? i actually don't mind talking about it since it was so many years ago, i've worked through it enough,, so i can tell you! a warning though: it is pretty brutal, so for those who are easily triggered, please scroll past for your well-being! (4/12)

it happened the weekend after one of my annual finale ballet recitals, which was strange timing indeed,, my mamma and i were driving down a highway to go home from an appointment, when a car behind us suddenly swerved and hit us from the left side, towards the back,, unfortunately i took most of the impact, but thankfully my mom wasn't too injured, just in shock (5/12)

i don't remember much except flashing lights from the police cars and people yelling, but a few minutes later i found myself being carried and placed into the back of a truck,, apparently a good samaritan wanted to help drive us to the hospital since it would take too long for the ambulance to arrive, i fell asleep and woke up in the ER (6/12)

and thank god, i didn't have any life-threatening injuries or any broken bones, just a very sprained ankle, a concussion, and cuts/bruises from glass shards,, i only stayed for a night and then we both left quickly,, what caused me to sadly stop ballet and skating wasn't the injuries themselves as much as it was the aftermath (7/12)

i found myself having a very painful time when trying to execute different moves and my endurance took a severe hit,, we soon determined that continuing such high-intensity sports in this state would be detrimental to my body,, (8/12)

it was truly crushing since being a prima donna was little me's biggest dream, but not everything works out,, i've greatly recovered over the years, but it's still difficult to do certain things because of the after-effects, so for now i'll just continue dancing and just watch figure skating and ballet from the sidelines! (9/12, i had to go on anon since i hit the limit 😅)

anyway, aside from the sad stuff, today was quite relaxing for once!! i actually ate a nice breakfast today, and i ended up spending my morning lounging around and playing minecraft, which was nice 🌸after cooking dinner for my family, i went to check on the bunnies again, and today they got themselves into a sticky situation hehehe 💫 there's a section of the garden that's fenced off, where different types of hot peppers grow,, (10/12)

they're not allowed in there since the pepper plant leaves are extremely spicy and not good for them to eat,, but somehow, they were able to jump the high fence and get inside!! the poor little bunbuns were trapped and couldn't find a way out... so i had to lure them close with vegetables and pick them up (which took all of 10 minutes) they're little troublemakers, but i guess they make up for it with cuteness 🌺 (11/12)

boh,, i seem to be getting sleepy now, maybe that's why a headache came on all of a sudden! well, i guess i'll take my leave for the night!! sleep well amore, i'll be thinking of you 💘- love from the moon and back, waifu xoxo 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗ps: rollerblading hm?? ooh, maybe you could teach me~ 😘 (12/12)"

Let me start off by saying that ur so lucky u made it out without any severe injuries like....ur life really sounds like a movie bc wtf🤡🤡 u went thru some real shit yet here u are snatchin wigs and acting like an angel, we all dont deserve u fjdhdjd like honestly thats so fucked?? Imagine loving to do smth only to not be able to do it anymore and ur dreams being shattered bc of smth like an accident that was someone else's fault happenin...its a damn shame and i hope maybe someday u will be able to pick up on ballet or ice skating again and i'll be personally looking for the one who did this

On another note, im glad u relaxed again bruh shhchd i also a d o r e cheesecake and its one of my fav desserts, i acc really love the strawberries, blackberries and raspberries ones the most (although lemon ones arent bad either and i once tried an orange one which was g o o d) 😩😩 thank u as always for whising me the za best also, unfoetinately today my volleyball practice was canceled due to cases increasing again and the coach said they'll resume in the following weeks so 🗿🗿🗿🗿

AnYwAYs u lookin our for the bunnies is still the cutest most disney princess thing ever and im all for it👁️ also i def will have to teach u rollerblading fjshhss ppl say its the same as ice skating but i beg to differ....while i can rollerblade like a pro i cant ice skate to save my own ass s o-

[australian-desi]

Qurbaan Hua ~ Episode 10-14: Of Murder, Bel-Gadis and The Death of My Favourite Character

There’s a lot of shouting, sorry in advance 

Episode 10

Wow he really had the audacity to ask forgiveness 

Do not tell me he’s the one that killed Saraswati 

He’s trying to intimidate her??????? With what????? 

She actually packs a punch, she pushed him right off of her

See this is the stuff I love about her 

SHE LOCKED THE DOOR FROM THE OUTSIDE AS WELL!!!!!! OMG WHAT A DAY IT HAS BEEN A TELLYWOOD CHARACTER WITH INTELLIGENCE 

And that’s on saying Sarasti instead of Saraswati you swine 

Where is this goddamn mandir, and why did she not take a car or something 

He’s found her (it’s not her fault, she tried her best to hide) and omfggggg she’s right next to a cliff 

I THOUGHT SHE DIED IN CHILDBIRTH OR SOMETHING WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS 

HE THREW HIS HEAVILY PREGNANT WIFE DOWN THE STAIRS AND HE WANTS TO BE THE HEAD PRIEST

HOLY SHIT 

OMG 

WHY AM I HERE 

AND HER COUSIN IS JUST WATCHING THIS HAPPEN

ofcourse Neil’s rakhi breaks just as is sister is dying 

NAVELI BE OUT HERE ACTUALLY JUSTIFYING KILLING HER SISTER WTAFFFFFFFFFFFF 

CAN NEIL LISTEN TO HIS GODDAMN THIRD SENSE AND GO GET HIS SISTER FFSS

WHAT DID I TELL HIM, TAKE YOUR SISTER AND LEAVE BUT NOOOOOO 

MANS IS KILLING HER RUTHLESSLY 

He’s also comparing a position to the love of his unborn child????????????

HOLY SHIT THIS MAN IS GOING TO PIN THE WHOLE MURDER ON DOCTOR BAIG 

KILLLLL MOIIIIII

I KNEW THIS SHOW WAS INTENSE BUT I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR A FULL FLEDGED MURDER 

IT TOOK NEEL AN UNANSWERED PHONECALL, BROKEN RAKHI AND A LECTURE FROM A SAGE TO GET OUT OF THE VEHICLE

NOT THE FEELING OF IMPENDING DOOM AND PANIC 

Here Daddy Pandit is preaching that all human beings are equal, and being Hindu does not make you better or worse than those of other religions 

If these are his thoughts, why does he refuse medical help from people of other religions, I do not understand 

Ummm surely the doctor can tell the marks all over her body are from being physically assaulted and not just from a trivial fall

GOTTA LOVE CHAHAT, WHO IS A FRESH NEW DOCTOR, WAS ABLE TO TELL THAT SOMETHING’S UP, SHE DIDN’T JUST FAINT AND NOT A SENIOR DOCTOR

ALSO SHYAM1.5 IS OUT HERE FULLY READY TO SHIFT THE BLAME AS IF HE BROKE A GLASS OR SOMETHING AND NOT FULLY KILL HIS WIFE 

Episode 11 

Neel, is still running around the house screaming for his sister when it is quite clear no one is there, so good on him

Again I say, for a doctor this man is quite daft - DOCTORS ARE TRAINED TO LOOK FOR ABUSE

The fact my girl has to conduct CPR in the hospital really shows how much it is lacking in medical technology, so I guess Anjali2.0 was fucked from the start

And he’s now talking to Daddy Pandit, who is continuing the pooja as if Neel isn’t even there 

VYASJI IS USELESS, GO LOOK FOR HER ON YOUR OWN YOU DIMWIT 

This dumbass doctor is asking him point blank if it is a case of domestic violence as if he will just admit to it

YOU CALL THE POLICE FOR THE INTERROGATION YOU DONT JUST CONDUCT IT YOURSELF IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HALLWAY 

Pehla banda dekha jo pandit banne ke liye itne paap ekhate kar raha hai 

Also since when did pandits become gunde 

The baby has survived?????? Wow I am proud

Well this is just, holy shit, ummm, religion is an absolute joke when taken to these levels and like the joke is really all on them, because one of their own is a murderer/abuser/womaniser/manipulator 

SARASWATI GET UP AND MURDER HIM BACK COZ WTAF

CAN THE DOCTOR MOVE OUT OF THE GODDAMN WAY SO IT DOESNT LOOK LIKE SHE’S POINTING AT HIM

I KNEW THIS WOULD FKN HAPPEN

HOLY SHIT AND SHE’S GONE 

There goes the only person in Neel’s whole household (apart from Neel) that I liked 

These people are proper dumb, she was clearly pointing at the doctor 

AND IS NO ONE LOOKING AT HIS GLEE OF HIS WIFE’S DEATH

ITS DADDY PANDIT NOT GIVING A SINGLE SHIT THAT HIS DAUGHTER IS MISSING 

HOLLLYYY SHIETTT NEEL GO SEE YOUR SISTER RATHER THAN CARRYING OUT YOUR AINVAYI KE DRAMATICS 

GOOD NOW SHE’S DEAD AND YOUR KAMINA JIJA IS ABOUT TO GET AWAY WITH IT

Omgggggg why have they hit me with the manpain so early in the show, im going to cry 

Holy shiettt my dude is going to get so fucked over this, I can’t 

Episode 12-14

Basically, I’m just very triggered by this whole thing

Neel has lost all sense and is after blood, because murder as revenge does not count as a paap apparently 

Chahat is the only one with half a brain in this whole show, the person with the other half is now dead #rip #IAmStillTraumatisedFromHerDeath

Daddy Pandit is a horrible actor, coz I felt nothing, when he sees his daughter’s dead body, and the fact that I showed more emotion at Saraswati’s death 

Fake Kamini knows something’s up between Shyam1.5 and Naveli, and she does not bat an eye which is worrying 

When Neel ‘saved’ Chahat it was quite hot, it got me going (coz his whole body covers hers, and she clutches on to him tightly and that whole thing)

Ofcourse she faints coz she wouldn’t be an ITV female lead if she didn’t 

Gotta also love how dramatic Neel got, with the whole, the person who’s blood I’m after, his daughter is in my arms, and my sister would also want me to avenge her death

Neel darling, yes she does want you to avenge her death, but I really wish you were a bit smarter to know/bother to find out who actually killed her even though I know this whole thing is a mess, you are an emotional mess and can’t think straight, but please calm down and think 

Also, if I was Daddy Pandit or Neel I would’ve lost my faith in God a long long time ago, so proud of both of them in keeping this religion thing up

HAVE THESE CRAZIES REALISED THAT THE CHILD IS WELL AND ALIVE 

OMFG THAT IN ITSELF IS ENOUGH PROOF THAT THEY DIDN’T KILL SARASWATI

COULDN’T THEY GET A POST-MORTEM REPORT DONE AS WELL WHICH WILL TELL THEM SHE DIED FROM TRAUMA NOT FROM POISONING 

Awww that scene when Saraswati’s spirit comes to Neel to snap him out of his bullshit, that was sweet, hopefully he calms down and is able to get some much needed therapy, and go live happily with Meera

Who am I kidding

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, HE HIT HER WITH A BELL, AND IT FELL AROUND HER NECK, AND THEN LIKE A BEL-GARDI, HE IS DRAGGING HER 

OMG WE’RE LITERALLY AT THE POINT WHERE THE ABUSE HAS LED TO A COMPLETE DEHUMANISATION OF THE FEMALE LEAD 

ALSO ENJOYED THE WHOLE BELL HITTING HER MAANG, SO IT LOOKS LIKE SINDOOR - THAT’S VERY VERY FUCKED 

I CANNOT

WHAT THE FUCK

WHY AM I WATCHING THIS

We’ve gone from occasional forceful arm grabbing to tying a bell around the girl’s neck AND PULLING IT BY IT 

and I’m also lolling at the warning about how they don’t promote this behaviour

OMG DADDY PANDIT IS THE ONLY ONE WITH HUMANITY IN THIS WHOLE VILLAGE HOLY FUCKING SHIT (he’s said how burning the hospital down, going after their life, rioting etc. is not okay and is against everything he has taught his followers) 

NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS DID I THINK THIS MAN WOULD COME OUT AND BE THE MOST SENSIBLE

And he’s keeping her hostage, lovely 

It’s amazing how it’s taken them this long to call law enforcement

Well Neel has well and truly lost it, now he’s having another go at his dad

And Mami has found out that Chahat is in a room and coz of the blood/bell/sindoor situation has assumed that she’s Neel’s gf who he has just gotten married to

I don’t blame her, that’s on Neel locking a woman in his house 

Now I’m wondering can this show get even more fucked than it already is

[im-not-a-joke]

Mmh... All the field

the whole- the whole field....

thank you for asking, this is going to be one long post

Alisons: Sexuality?

asexual, unlabeled/queer romantic

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

they/them or he/him, nonbinary

Amaryllis: Birthday?

february 4th

Anemone: Favorite flower?

bleeding heart

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

steven universe

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

probably offer a place to sleep overnight

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

“Do you think God stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he’s created?”

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

strawberry lemonade

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

my gf? yes, absolutely.

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

i’d like to think so, yes

Baneberries: Favorite song?

currently “better than me” by the brobecks

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

a mess, i have three siblings, and two of them are currently living at home, we also have two large dogs

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

yes! my best friend anna, and her brother bryan!

Begonia: Favorite color?

purple

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

mantis shrimp

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

night person

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

dog, i want the constant love and affection

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

first a botanist, then a geologist

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

i want to adopt some someday! sometimes they suck, but i want to be there for someone who doesn’t have a family to lean on.

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

abandonment, because i’m annoying

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

i shared a room with my little brother until i was like 12.

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?  

visiting all the people i love most, all of my friends, my gf, i’d call my sister

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

taken!

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

france

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

when people take the time out of their day to talk to me

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?  

nope, i do want some someday, though

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?  

yes! i got my ears pierced twice because it ripped my earlobe the first time

California Poppy: Height?  

~5′8″

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

yes, and if i die before any of my friends, i’m coming back to haunt them

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?  

a floral tank top, my favorite sleeveless cardigan, and jean shorts

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

yes, my little brother was afraid of the dark and insisted on having a nightlight on

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?  

my mom

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

my gf

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

architect’s daughter

Columbine: Are you tired?

yes, very

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

tomorrow i get to leave the house all day to drive across the state and it’s going to be a lot of fun

Coneflower: Dream job?

language teacher! either english to people who don’t speak it or german/french to english speakers

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

introvert. i’m on tumblr all day

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

yeah, i think so

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

i’d actually die for multiple people in my life

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

yes! a stuffed white dog with a plaid scarf and matching antlers! my friend got it for me because it reminded her of my big white dog.

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

aquarius

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

once i came 3rd in my age group for a 5k i ran

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

i successfully kept a frail axolotl alive for an entire summer

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?  

i dont care what my parents think about stuff like that, they cant tell my who i am or am not allowed to date

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

@byler-obsessed literally like, maybe 15 minutes ago as of writing this

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

i’d like to think i’m decent at singing

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

staying awake during the day

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

i saw my gf for the first time in months! i came out to the girls team for xc! i spent a lot of time with one of my closest irl friends!

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

decent, i had coach practice, which was nice

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

yeah, i’d say i’m pretty happy where i am

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

learn guitar

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

my best friends anna and bryan, my older brother, the girls on the team, my ukulele, my therapist, my dogs, the creek in my back yard, my grandma’s amish apple dumpling recipe, random internet memes, books

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?  

listening to my spotify playlist

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

reassurance and/or talking about things that i enjoy, i’m really insecure so if i’m talking about something i like, that’s me trusting you. 

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

the mental health progress i’ve made

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

i lay in bed until like 11, then, i spend the rest of the day out with my friends, we get sushi for dinner and stay up until like 3am

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?  

be on tumblr

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

i met them both in 6th grade, anna nad i were in the same science class and i met bryan at lunch, he didn’t talk to me for at least the first half of the year.

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

bryan, he always knows just what to say, and knows that he doesn’t have to fix my problems to be a good friend.

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

like, 13?

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

my friend once told me that they couldn’t tell if i was a boy or girl upon first meeting me and it made my day.

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

i’m a mess, an anxious, depressed, gay mess

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

my hair, it’s really fluffy and soft, and just about light enough to dye bright colors

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?  

my chest, it’s always been a huge part of my dysphoria and i want it gone please

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

i would play dress up with my dog, he had to suffer through wearing all my old dresses, but he got treats so it was ok

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

my friend ry, we met in second grade, we’re still on and off friends, currently off

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

in 5th grade i used the word “suck” in class and got yelled at

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?  

see above answer

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

carson: christian. it’s my name because i like how it sounds, and anna really liked it too, she picked it for me.

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

white, suburban ohio. all the kids had cliques by the second day of kindergarten, and if you were knew, you generally had a pretty good chance of being picked up by the popular kids.

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

i had bunkbeds with my little brother, i slept on the bottom.

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?  

so far, not really. i’m just mentally ill and closeted, it’s not great

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

she likes to dye her hair crazy colors, and she used to be a beekeeper, even though she’s allergic to bee stings.

Onions: Tell about your dad.  

he rides his bike almost every day, and supports my mom in whatever she does

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

on my mom’s side, the kindest boomers i’ve ever met, my grandpa used to take us on “adventures” to the park and just watch us play

on my dad’s side: my grandpa loves seeing us but doesn’t get out much, my grandma laughs hysterically at every family gathering, and has all the best amish recipes

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

when i turned 13, i went ice skating for the first time and fell and sprained my wrist

Peony: What was your first job?

mowing lawns

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

we had mutual friends and slowly ended up being close, we were in school plays and track together.

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

i bite down on my finger to simultaneously distract myself, focus on something else, and hold myself back

Pink: Where is home?

my best friends’ living room at 1 am, with the golden girls playing in the background

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

i’d go back and stop current president from becoming president

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

my sister, she has always been driven and passionate and talented, and she makes everything seem effortless and still gives it her all.

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

me and my spouse and my kids amd my dogs all live in a decently spacious house in europe, my job is stable and i love my work, my students think i’m cool and come to me if they need help, i am doing well.

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

i used to believe that the smoke from fireworks was where clouds came from

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

my best friends

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

the sound of rain on my roof at night

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

when my sister, dad, and i all climbed to the top of a mountain in california

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

throwing up in the car on the way home for visiting my sister in new york

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?  

a hug from anna

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

it’s hard because i don’t trust people

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

the internet

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

like 5.5 hours

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

to run, it makes me feel better and i love cross country

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

lmao i dont have one

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

my binder!

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.  

the record player song but a boy

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

a list of reasons why you deal with me/things you like about me

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

the fact that this is taking a lot longer than anticipated and i don’t want people to think i’m ignoring their asks

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

actual books? only 2, Catcher in the Rye and the Night Circus

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

out with my friends

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

yes, and i regret it

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

i’m double jointed in my left pinky

[mikami]

Death Note Audio Drama 02

Disk 2: Collateral Damage - a summary / partial translation

Disk 1 and an attempted explanation of What This Is are here.

This episode also isn’t particularly wild as far as plot diversion goes, but it changes a key element of how Death Note manipulation works and.... introduces a whole lot of Matsuda trivia, somehow. We also say hi and bye to Naomi.

___________________

We begin with Naomi tracking down the bus driver of the busjacking. The driver is really annoyed that people keep tracking him down to ask him about it. Naomi asks about Raye. (Her vacation pic is from Honolulu in this version). Naomi presses the driver to tell her as much as he remembers about the other passengers.

_____

TITLE MUSIC PLAYS

_____

We’re back in time. Light is trying to think about how to get Raye Penber’s name. His dad’s computer has no notes about it. Light deduces that his dad doesn’t even know about the tailing. Ryuk brings up the eye deal.

RYUK: I can offer you the eyes of a shinigami.

LIGHT: U-uh, you mean a real pair of eyes? That’s disgusting!!

RYUK (amused): No, I just mean the power of those eyes.

The lifespan halving gets brought up and Light just goes “uhm... no thanks”, literally. 

LIGHT: Are there any more surprises? Some kind of bonus point system? Fine print? 

RYUK: Uuuuuhm, can’t think of anything much right now.

LIGHT: You could have written it into the Death Note, alongside the other rules. I don’t like to be led by the nose, I’m not your goddamn----

RYUK: ... what?

LIGHT: I am not your puppet.... But I can get one for myself.

RYUK: I don’t get it.

LIGHT: I know now, how to get my pursuer’s name. And that’s without making any kind of contract with you.

_______

A TV transmission. An attorney has issued a lawsuit against prisons for the way prisoners die. His client died of heart attack after writing a pentagram in his own blood. He was close to being pardoned. The lawyer says that the government has a duty to ensure safety of the prisoners, no matter what they are in for. 

_______

L and Soichiro discuss the murder and other abnormal murders like it. They have Soichiro be the one to discover the “L did you know” message, oddly. But they don’t really detail how it is coded, so it might have just literally been written down word by word in this version. L tells Soichiro to not tell anyone about this, not even his team. Soichiro immediately says he’ll only keep it in her personal data files.......

_______

RYUK: Are you really sure you should snoop around your dad’s office like this?

LIGHT: If you want a useful way to keep your eyes busy, why don’t you keep watch?

RYUK: I am not your partner. Oh, an apple. [eats]

LIGHT: Luckily, I can do just fine without your help. A-ha! Interpol listed them all!

RYUK: All your extremely dramatic deaths?

LIGHT: More or less. Seems like not all I wrote into the notebook actually happened.

They go over the stipulations of manipulation needing to be physically doable for the victim. 

LIGHT: And now I just need... a catalyst.

_______

News transmission. A news entry about the killer of the Amane parents having died. Channel switch. A Christmas-themed advertisement for Space Land. Channel Switch. A news feature about Kiichiro Osoreda and his failed bank robbing.

______

Light meets Yuri and Yuri’s dialogue is kept pretty accurate to the manga, which is something that I found really disappointing actually. Light’s and Ryuk’s dialogue here is also very close to the original. 

Raye Penber complains that he’d like to do real policework at some point again, otherwise he acts the same as in the manga here.

The whole busjacking is just really manga-close. But when Raye says he’s police undercover...

LIGHT: Oh, really? And how do I know you’re not in cahoots with this madman?

PENBER: And who are you? A detective?

YURI: His dad is a detective, that’s why he’s so smart.

LIGHT: Do you have ID? Otherwise I’ll have to deal with you first. 

PENBER: Of course! Here.

LIGHT: Raye Penber... FBI? What is the FBI doing on a bus to Space Land?

PENBER: This isn’t really the time for that, boy.

LIGHT: Alright, cowboy, then toss your lasso already. 

I cannot overstate that he literally says this. Word by word. After that, the scene returns to its canon version. The bizarre thing is that Ryuk explains the plan out loud, including telling Light’s name to Otoharada. Of course, Otoharada is brainwashed and acting according to script, but still weird.

_______

News transmission. The busjacking gets described. Light turns the news off and shows the Death Note entry to Ryuk, who reads it out loud. 

______

We hear a New Year’s countdown. 

WATARI: What in Hercules’ name was that?

INTERPOL REP (still clinking champagne glasses): It’s the time difference, Mr. Watari! It’s midnight, here in the USA. 

WATARI: Oh... I am so very sorry. I must have lost my overview. 

INTERPOL REP: Forget about it. Just a moment.

She leaves the party room. She informs Watari of the deceased FBI agents. It happened three days ago, but she only got the report now, thanks to the holiday crunch. She now refuses to involve the FBI further. 

______

Soichiro calls L. He’s pissed about L involving the FBI, now that he’s heard. 

______

Back with Watari and the Interpol Rep (her name is Paula Virilio and she’ll be referred to as Virilio in the future) are still talking about the matter. She tells Watari that on Dec 28th all the agents asked about names and photos of their coworkers, so she gave the first four the file and asked them to pass it further.

______

Soichiro is really mad about Virilio’s miss-step too. L and Soichiro work out that they need to know who sent the first email about the files. The phone call ends.

The Task Force is really mad about L still not taking the same risks as them. They actually seriously consider L being Kira for a moment. 

______

The Task Force enter the hotel L is staying in. Pardon me for sometimes just saying ‘someone’ as the speaker, I find the Task Force really hard to tell about and without context cues I am often lost.

MATSUDA: A whole hotel suite? How do you earn the money for this stuff?

L: By being smarter than everyone else, Detective Matsuda.

MATSUDA: You are... [He corrects himself from the formal ‘you’ used to address adults to informal ‘you’ here] You are L....?

L: The one. Please sit down, gentlemen.

MATSUDA: He’s still a child...

L (laughs): I am old enough to vote, Mr. Matsuda. Old enough to carry a weapon, to marry, to fall in love... and to catch a murderer.  And you are Chief Inspector Yagami. I also know you from TV.

SOICHIRO: Yes, here’s my ID, for protocol. This is Matsuda, as you know. Detectives Aizawa, Ukita, Mogi...

L: A group of dead men. 

SOICHIRO: Excuse me, what?

L: If I really was Kira, you’d all be dead now. 

MATSUDA: How can we know that, boy?

L: Because you are not dead, detective. 

MATSUDA: We call that kind of thing circular logic.

L: I call someone like you an idiot. 

MATSUDA: I don’t need to listen to this from a civilian, you little shitty---

SOICHIRO (softly): Matsuda. 

L: You name is Touta Matsuda. Graduated from Kumamoto University. Passion for sports cars and every Thursday, you go to the cinema. Big drama. Not in a relationship right now, but in pining hope for something complicated with Noriko Takai. Hm. A very concerning sympathy for both [???? I DONT KNOW THE WORD] as well as country music. Loves Korean cuisine, but....

SOMEONE: He’s got your number, Matsuda.  

MATSUDA: So what? You all can easily figure out the same from social media.

L: Yeah, that’s what I can do. Everything. About you, and your sister, and your stupid aunt who doesn’t know how to properly set the privacy settings of her account. I know where you live, you tool--

SOICHIRO: I think we got it, L. 

L: Really? Kira plays this game to win. I agreed to meet you, because you were all getting nervous about working with an anonymous specialist, so I am here. To get my hands as dirty as yours. But really, is this necessary...?

SOICHIRO: What do you want, L?

L: I want you to take this seriously.

SOMEONE: In the face of 12 dead agents, matters are serious enough, I think.

L: Correct, so you take care to not become number 13. All of you have to disappear. Get off social media, get new email accounts. If you address the public or the press, you will introduce yourself with these names. You are not going to tell anyone your real names. That’s exactly why I am still alive.

And this is how we get the fake IDs.

_____

Naomi at the NPA. The receptionist refuses to let her speak to anybody from the Task Force. Light steps in, to hand in the spare clothes for his dad. His dialogue with Naomi is similar to the manga, but audio drama Light’s insistence and volunteering of excessively much info he shouldn’t have.... it makes me laugh.

LIGHT: And you are looking for my father?

NAOMI: Uh, yeah, I--

LIGHT: I can tell you’re up to speed, miss. You’re definitely correct to not just tell your matter to the next best person. Especially after those FBI murders. We’re all suspects, am I right?

NAOMI: U-uh, I didn’t say that---

LIGHT: If you’d like, I’d gladly get you in contact with my father. I’ll get through to him, even if he usually rejects calls.

RYUK: Take the bait, missy, take it...

NAOMI: Would that be alright, u-uh, Light?

RYUK: Aaand, bullseye!

LIGHT: Why don’t we take this conversation somewhere else?

RYUK: There’s just too many video cams here.

LIGHT: As long as we don’t know how Kira kills his victims, I’d suggest a less public place. 

_______

LIGHT: Okay, where were we? My name is Yagami. Light Yagami.

NAOMI: Shouko Maki.

RYUK: And my name is Ryuk, but you’re not actually able to see or hear me.

LIGHT: I think Kira is capable of more than simply killing people. It seems as if he could influence their actions before their deaths.

NAOMI: I think the same. And here I thought I was alone with it. Yes, he can control people before he kills them. But that’s not all. He can also kill them through other means than heart attacks.

RYUK: Who is this little snooper?

LIGHT: Should that be the case, we might be facing even more murders than thought. There are cases that haven’t been considered in connection to Kira yet.

NAOMI: Exactly. Those might be cases Kira hoped would stay secret. I am fairly sure that someone... someone I know... has met Kira.

LIGHT: Hah. It might be hard to get someone to believe this statement.

NAOMI: That’s why I came in person to explain the circumstances of the case.

LIGHT: Wouldn’t it be even more convincing if your friend told his own story?

NAOMI: He can’t. He was one of the murdered agents. 

RYUK: Oh, now it’s getting interesting.

NAOMI: He was my fiancé. He told me that he got involved in this busjacking. By now, I assume that Kira was on that bus as well.

RYUK: She’s talking about Raye Penber, wow. 

NAOMI: Something wrong?

LIGHT: Why are you assuming that Kira was on the bus?

NAOMI: Name and face of the culprit were on the media day by day. He was on the run after a totally miscalculated bank robbing. And then, 8 days later, shortly after Christmas... My fiancé dies. Together with his 11 colleagues.

LIGHT: The connection seems vague to me.

RYUK: What he wants to say is.... perfect match.

NAOMI: Something must have happened there. I think that my fiancé and the culprit were used by Kira to get to the other 11 agents. 

LIGHT: The culprit was hit by a car, it wasn’t a heart attack. This is how you got to the conclusion that Kira can control actions?

NAOMI: Yes. 

LIGHT: That seems pretty far fetched. 

RYUK: It really isn’t, lady.

NAOMI: Even the first time I heard of the busjacking, the circumstances seemed strange to me. I kept asking my fiancé questions, I basically interrogated him to tell me the story again and again. 

LIGHT: And... what was his story?

______

We flash back to Naomi and Raye talking. Both of their voices are tense.

RAYE: Yes, I showed my ID to one of the passengers, okay?! Are you happy now?

NAOMI: You shouldn’t have done that!

RAYE: I know that! It was complicated. The guy wouldn’t have cooperated without me proving that I’m a cop.

NAOMI: You were undercover, Raye! 

RAYE: Stop that! You weren’t there. 

NAOMI: You had explicit order to not blow your cover.

RAYE: And you are the only person who knows I have done that. If you don’t tell anybody, nobody will ever know. 

NAOMI: But I am not the only one. Isn’t that right? We still don’t know how Kira finds and executes his victims. You can’t afford even a single misstep.

RAYE: You’d probably prefer he’d shot all the passengers then.

NAOMI: Ugh, Raye, that’s not the point---

RAYE (hitting the table): Of course that is exactly the point!! 

______

LIGHT: This whole situation isn’t free of emotions. 

NAOMI: So?

LIGHT: I just want to make sure your feelings aren’t influencing your analysis skills.

RYUK: Which are working quite excellently.

NAOMI: Hey, you. I was a special agent with several decorations before I gave up my career to marry Raye. I’m not just some random brat.

LIGHT: I agree with you, the suspicion warrants a closer inspection. 

They keep talking, Light himself brings out the deduction that the person Raye identified himself to was Kira.

______

We’re with Ukita on phone duty. Someone who thinks they are Kira is calling. Ukita is already pretty annoyed, even before the guy talks of other hallucinations. He hangs up quickly.

_______

SOICHIRO: is it important?

MATSUDA: No, boss. Ukita is just whining again. He doesn’t want to be on phone duty anymore. He texted: “When do I get a hotel suite with 24/7 room service?”

SOMEONE: Does he think we’re just chilling here?

SOMEONE: Probably. Uhm, do you want the final shrimp?

SOMEONE: Take it.

They then move on to talk about surveillance footage of the FBI agent deaths. They have footage from 3 deaths, one of them is Raye Penber. They have the most material on him. They realize he’s done more than a full round on the Yamanote line. They also notice him having an envelope that disappears. They conclude Kira was on the train, receiving it.

______

Light makes his first attempt to kill Naomi, same cause of death as in the manga. Naomi wants to go back to the NPA building now. Light comes with her, as he notices she isn’t dying. 

_____

Ukita on the phone again. Akiko Misora is calling about her daughter Naomi being misses. Ukita is pretty annoyed (”Oh really? Was she kidnapped by aliens or something?”). Akiko explains that Naomi came to Japan with her fiancé,  but he died and shortly after Naomi also fell out of contact. Akiko complains about how much paperwork getting the ashes to the US was, and says how charming Raye was and how good his Japanese was...... Ukita wants to get rid of her, until Akiko tells him Raye’s name.

____

The Task Force discusses Naomi’s existence and disappearance. She left her hotel at Dec. 29th and has been missing since. They all suspect that Naomi, being an ex-agent, has started her own investigation. But they also worry someone found her.

_____

Light explains to Naomi that the Kira team doesn’t meet with people on principle, because of the risk. He calls them ‘us’ and Naomi picks up on it, leading Light to explain he is a member of the task force. (Ryuk: “And if you believed that one, you might as well buy a fake Rolex of him now.”) Light invites Naomi to the team, like in the manga. Naomi does a lot of nervous laughing in this scene, but she does give him her real ID.

______

The task force think about Naomi, and her existence in connection to Raye being the first one to send an email to Virilio. They decide to place cameras and bugs in the houses of those who were investigated by Raye. It’s the families of Kitamura and Yagami. 

______

Light writes Naomi’s name down again, this time her real one. They walk together some more. Light points out that Naomi doesn’t just want to investigate but also to hear the full story about Raye’s death. 

NAOMI: I already knew on the day of that something was wrong. Raye was acting really strangely. He got up and left, without a word. He even forgot his cellphone. 

LIGHT: Oh, is that unusual?

NAOMI: I followed him downstairs. He was at the reception and made them print something for him. I gave his phone to him, but he said nothing at all. He was so.. empty.

LIGHT: Distracted?

NAOMI: ... empty. Not a smile, not a kiss. He took the phone and left. At the time I still thought ‘well, maybe an order’. Next thing you know, the police arrives at the hotel. Asked me to come with them... identify the body. I have no idea what happened in the final hours of his life. 

LIGHT: I do. I know the details of Raye Penber’s death down to the very last second. 

NAOMI: I haven’t even told you his full name yet...

LIGHT: He entered the station via the west entrance. Past the street musician who always plays there. He passed the ticket entrance at 11 past 3. He went down to the Yamanote line, in the direction of Kanda. 

NAOMI: I don’t understand... That’s only too stations if you directly take the Chuo line. Why this giant detour?

LIGHT: Because someone was waiting for him. The Yamanote line is the perfect place for a meeting. It has stops everywhere and nowhere. 

_____

We launch into a flashback to the Yamanote line. Light walks up to Raye and greets him, but Raye does not answer him. Light introduces himself at more depth, even using his full name and calling himself Kira right after. Raye continues to not answer. Ryuk realizes that Raye cannot answer because that is how Light has written it down. Light keeps chatting, explaining his plan to Raye. On the train, he makes Raye watch as he writes the names of all his colleagues. He also touches Raye with the notebook, to let him see Ryuk. Raye can’t do anything.

____

LIGHT: Well, Naomi, I’m afraid Raye was just sitting there. His eyes widened a little. Panicked, you know?

RYUK: Yes, panic just about cuts it. Just like the face you are making right now, darling.

LIGHT: But he couldn’t move. Just like you right now. I was quite precise with my orders, you see? 

Light continues to explain that he needed the names of the other agents and that he can do anything to people whose names he has. 

_____

The task force discusses the family surveillance further. Light says the chance of Kira being among those people is 5%, but this is their only lead. Soichiro tells L to be thorough with his surveillance, like in the manga.

_____

LIGHT: All Raye could do was sit there until the time was ripe. And then get up...

RYUK: Without a word, Naomi. Silent like a fish.

LIGHT: And he left the train at Kanda station. 

RYUK: And then he died. 

LIGHT: Right on the platform, so to say. 

RYUK: He extended his hand like in a bad movie. As if he wanted to say ‘I am cursing you’ or something.

LIGHT: And thus, Raye Penber died. I find it regrettable. 

RYUK: Because he wasn’t a murderer. Which you also aren’t, Naomi. Just wrong place, wrong time... Collateral damage.

LIGHT: But I think you understand, Naomi, that I can’t leave you alive, if I want to keep working. I know you want to move, to hit me. I know that you wish above all else to take the gun out of your pocket. But none of that will happen, because I already put your final moments into motion. And that means I’m the one who’s in power here. 

Ryuk asks what she’ll do. Light explains that he wrote the same conditions as on the first try, about her suicide.

LIGHT: So Naomi, I think you know what to do. Now go. 

RYUK: And there she went. A woman with a mission. 

LIGHT: Hey, Naomi! Want me to call my dad? Still want to talk to him, tell him everything you learned today? Hm? .... and she just keeps walking. 

RYUK: She didn’t even say goodbye. I hope it was worth it. This new direction you’ve taken, it’s going to change everything. 

LIGHT: What new direction?

RYUK: Now you’re no longer simply a criminal. You’re a police killer.

[imnotcameraready]

chivalry is dead (12)

A/N: WE’VE REACHED!!!!!!!!!!!!! KISSES!!!! HELL YEAH—

there are also So many characters in this one y’all im so sorry to do this to you but also Suffer — since they’re not gonna be reoccurring, i’m adding a characters tag so y’all know what you’re getting into. also, i felt a liiiiittle bad with all the angst i was giving, so since chapters 12 and 13 happen simultaneously, y’all are getting the Softs for now :) 

what, angst on the horizon? says who? ;)

Characters: Deceit, Patton, the Playwright, the Artist, the Bard, Sleep (Remy), Dad Guy, Teacher Guy

WARNINGS: bruises and black eyes, references to imprisonment, food/food mention — i dont think there's much in this chapter, but if i missed anything, please let me know!!

Words: 6961

Pairings: i’m so. so proud to announce. welcome to some Roceit, some Royality, a sliver of Moceit, and Dad Guy x Teacher Guy (the best ship, imho)

AO3 link!

MASTERPOST! <– look here!! for some of the series long warnings!! including sympathetic Deceit and cursing/swearing, both of which are heavily present here!

chivalry taglist: @starlightvirgil​ @forrestwyrm​ @daflangstlairde​ @marshmallow-the-panda​ @askthesnake​ @k9cat​ @patromlogil​

general tag: @jemthebookworm​

enjoy!!!! sorry for the long intro, and ilysm !! <3 <3 <3 

This was very much not Deceit’s forte. He ran his hand through the Bard’s hair for the umpteenth time, shooting Patton a terrified expression. Patton was on the Bard’s other side, arms wrapped around his waist, head resting on his shoulder.

“You’re okay, Roman,” he whispered, again, “You’re okay.”

The trio had been standing in a weird multi-hug for nearly ten minutes, ever since the Thief absconded. Patton figured it’d be safer to stay with Deceit and the Bard; he was more accustomed to seeing Roman cry, sad to say, but it was still only a handful of times. He did know that Deceit was very much not equipped to handle situations like this, though, and, well. He didn’t exactly trust Deceit to not make things worse.

He wasn’t, though, so Patton was pretty happy. The Bard had even finished crying a few minutes ago. That wasn’t the issue. He just refused to let up from where he was pressed into Deceit’s chest, breathing slow and quiet.

It wasn’t like Deceit minded too much. It was a little annoying. Just a little. But it was also comforting. He tried his best to not look at Patton’s little glances, but Deceit knew his face was a little red. He didn’t want to let go of Roman. Not when he was this close, also comforted in his hold.

Despite Deceit’s strategy of letting go of his crush, he was almost falling faster. He pressed his lips to the Bard’s head and flicked his eyes up at Patton when he began talking again.

“You’re gonna be okay. We’ve just gotta get goin’ now.”

In all honesty?

The Bard had long since calmed down. He was now drunk on happiness. Yeah, sure, he was still really pissed off at the Thief, he’d ruined his make up, punched him in the face, made the Child cry, generally put a damper on the whole situation, but that was to be a problem for another day. The arms wrapped around his waist, the body he was snuggled into, the hand that was running through his hair, it all made him feel so secure. So loved.

He didn’t think Deceit was much of a physical person, but after this? The Bard would have to remember to go to the snake more often for cuddles.

He closed his eyes again and inhaled slowly.

Patton always smelt like cookies. Chocolate chip cookies and occasionally chai, depending on what he’d baked recently. Sometimes of just sugar.

Deceit smelt a little more just like a person, yeah, but the scent was carefully interlaced with hints of lavender and jasmine. Did Deceit wear cologne or something? Maybe he had a self-care routine. The Bard would also have to remember to have Roman ask Deceit if he wanted to do masks and manicures together.

The could just not follow the Thief. The Bard could invite Patton and Deceit to his home, hidden away amongst the pages of this story they’d written, watch a movie and bundle under some blankets together. He could just take the time and space to be content. He could take in the pleasures of life!

But, alas, it was curtains for those dreams.

“Alright, Padre, I’m good. I’m gucci,” the Bard murmured, “It’s just so nice to be held. King Cobra, honey, were you always this warm. And you’re so lovely, Patt-puff, I could fall asleep right here.”

Patton snorted, catching the briefest glimpse of Deceit’s bright red face. “You can have all the snuggles you want later, kiddo,” he patted the Bard’s chest again, “You just gotta—”

“Wait.”

The change was immediate. The Bard stood upright, pulling his face out of Deceit’s chest and turning his head around. “Someone’s singing.”

Patton and Deceit shared a confused frown. Faintly, they could hear a voice, far, far away, but growing louder.

“For years, I’ve roamed these empty halls~!”

“Yeah,” the Bard tapped Deceit’s back and pulled away, both other Sides letting go finally.

There was still mascara dried around his face, and the eye that’d been punched was swelling and angry red, but the Bard didn’t seem to care. Patton rubbed his arms, missing the warmth and scolding himself internally for wanting something so unrealistic. He nudged Deceit, who was grumbling and stretching his arms, and both looked up.

In the Bard’s hands was the ukulele, forgotten in the earlier argument, and he twirled it before lifting it to his chest. Strumming a few precise chords, he continued the song, like a bird returning a call.

“Why have a ballroom with no balls~!” he twirled in place and sprang toward the sound.

He sure seemed happier now. Patton smiled, watching him perform, and rested one of his hands on his cheek.

Roman was just so full of life, always. It was astounding.

Wait, the Bard was moving. Patton blinked, looking up to find Deceit watching the Bard, mesmerized as well.

….Ah.

So Deceit liked him, too?

That’d complicate things. Deceit and Roman were a little friendlier, and Patton definitely didn’t want to get in the way of anything, if it made them both happy. If there was anything. Of course there was something. Deceit and Roman were both so charming, how couldn’t there be something? That’d be like giving someone chocolate without the flowers on Valentines day!

“Finally they’re opening up the ga~ates~!”

Distantly, they heard someone echo the same line, getting closer. It was the Roman version of echolocation.

Oh. What if Deceit’s story about Roman and the pit was just a cover up for him being in Roman’s room? What if they’d been together?

Patton shook his head. Imagining worries like that was just gonna get his head spun in a tizzy. He chuckled to himself at his pun, though gained no mirth from it, and tugged Deceit’s hand.

“C’mon, we’ve gotta follow,” he said.

Deceit blinked, looking at Patton, then back at the Bard, who’d already dance-walked his way halfway down the street. “Ah, of course,” he hurried after the Bard, faster.

He didn’t want Patton to say anything about the staring and, frankly, Patton didn’t want to say anything either. Nor his own disappointment of missing them both.

“There’ll be actual, real-life people~”

The Bard strummed, twisting down a road, and Deceit and Patton followed.

They were probably being led to another Roman, since they could make out his voice as it grew louder. Were there any more Romans, though? Or, well, any new ones.

“It’ll be totally strange!”

The other singer was just behind a corner.

“Wow, am I so ready for this change~!”

“Will you cut it out! It’s bad enough we’re out in public,” the Artist grumbled, fiddling with the sleeves of his hoodie, “And now you’re drawing everyone’s attention.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, is my voice bothering you?” the Playwright shot back, bumping his hip against the Artist’s as he shouted, “‘Cause for the first time in forever~! There’ll be music, there’ll be light!”

Deceit and Patton blinked, watching the two bicker as they walked closer. Neither of them seemed very scared of the world around them; in fact, both were looking around at the scenery, as though noticing it for the first time. While the Artist was trying to hide, his hood up and everything, the Playwright was walking around with a coat slung over his shoulders and otherwise in the same outfit they’d seen him in the other day.

The Bard had stopped just around the bend, standing in the pathway and bouncing on his feet with an excited grin, as though waiting for them to notice him.

“Uh, yeah, a little. Shut up.”

“I, wh—” the Playwright’s singing screeched to a halt as he glared at the Artist. “How?!”

“Sounds too much like my voice.”

“We are the same person, you dunce, how—wait,” the Playwright looked up and squinted, “Oh, it’s Bard.”

The Bard struck a pose, pointing his ukulele into the sky like a sword. “It sure is! It’s been so long, Playwright, Artist!” he dashed forward, ignoring the Artist’s shouts of “NO” and the Playwright’s confused spluttering as he hugged both with his arms, “I’ve missed you both so dearly!”

He spun in a circle once before pulling away, smoothing their sides down with a hand. He then leaned forward and pecked their cheeks, one after another, shocking them both just enough that neither pointed out his black eye.

This again? It was much too high energy for Deceit, not as he had to study this...what, fifth Roman? Fourth? How many had he met, by now? Jesus, how many were there. He slunk back, behind Patton, letting the moral side do the talking.

“Good to see you again, Playwright! You too, Artist,” Patton smiled at the Artist, who flinched back and tugged the side of his hood.

Patton wasn’t about to bring up the fight from earlier that morning. The Child said, on their way out, that the Artist didn’t have much outside his art. Maybe it wasn’t good for him to be yelling at them, it was definitely upsetting. And Patton was definitely hurt. A little betrayed. A little confused. But that didn’t mean Patton would be angry. He didn’t hold grudges very well.

“Um,” the Artist looked down, twisting his foot against the cobblestone path. He couldn’t, in his right conscious, not apologize immediately. “Yeah. Dad, I just–I’m really sorry about this morning. I over reacted, and I shouldn’t have snapped at you and Logan and Child. I’m, uh, it was dumb. I’m sorry.”

There it was. Out in the open.

The Artist didn’t want his perfection at the expense of love.

A hand rested on his shoulder and he twitched. It felt almost numb, like television static. He looked up to see Patton smiling widely at him, almost beaming. “You’re not dumb for having your own boundaries and caring about what you make. Yeah, it was….” his smile faltered slightly, reminded of how terrified he’d been that the Artist would actually stab them with a palette knife, “I can’t say it’s okay. But thank you for apologizing, and I’m sorry Logan and I made you uncomfortable.”

….The Artist really hadn’t expected that. His cheeks tinged with a bit of a blush as he looked down again, still fiddling with his hood.

Patton always knew what to say.

“I don’t wanna just brush over this issue.”

The Artist closed his eyes and exhaled. Patton chuckled to himself, but watched the Artist closer. Um. Maybe he didn’t understand?

Patton didn’t want to actually offend him, not right after that apology.

“Get it? Like a paint br—”

“Patton. Darling. While I appreciate the sentiment, I must admit that our relationship is a,” the Artist opened one eye, a tiny smile growing, “Work in progress.”

The Bard and Patton both hooted, the Bard plucking his ukulele once. “Good one!” Patton patted the Artist’s shoulder, “Thought I was gonna start crying there for a second, but I’m glad that was a pun, too!”

“They’re ridiculous,” the Playwright murmured.

“He’s you,” Deceit gestured to the Artist, then to the Bard. “And so’s he.”

“My cross to bear, I suppose,” the Playwright said with a tired shrug.

They’d both stepped back when the Artist apologized, leaning on a wall and watching the scene. It felt like a personal moment of reflection, in all honesty. And they didn’t have the lack of apprehension that the Bard displayed, listening in and looking between the two.

Deceit exhaled, leaning back. So Patton was bonding with yet another figment. Big whoop. No water off his scales, no sir. He turned his head, lazily looking around

Hang on. Those men were guards.

Alarms blared in his head as he reached over to the Playwright. “Guards,” he hissed.

A quiet tongue click signified that the Playwright saw them. “Patton, Artist, Bard, we need to go,” he moved toward the group.

The Bard looked back, eyes widening as the guards began marching towards them. “Son of Hephaestus.”

The ukulele disappeared from his hands as he grabbed Patton with and the Artist with the other, tugging them along. The street was populated enough, characters and people walking around, but they were parting for the guards like a predator through a school of fish. Where were they supposed to run to? The Bard knew the city well enough, but all of the maneuvers he used to escape danger wouldn’t work with such a long procession. Not to mention that the Playwright and Artist had never been in the town. In an altercation, none of them would stand a chance; all the real fighters had left.

Patton winced. What were they gonna—

“Hey, babes, lookie here!”

“Oh, thank fucking Pollock,” the Artist breathed. “It’s our idiot.”

Patton and Deceit both snapped around, looking forward. There was Thomas. Not. Not Thomas. No, it was one of his characters, wearing a black leather jacket and a messenger bag, holding a half-full Starbucks venti cup with some unknown iced drink within. Somehow, the paper labeling him as “Sleep” was still firmly taped to his chest despite being held up by a single, half-inch piece of scotch tape. But, you know. Big mood.

He waved them forward again from the doorway he was standing in. “C’mon already, we don’t have all day,” Sleep chirped again, waving a little faster.

You know what? Deceit was going to question this one. He’d been through a lot, this past day. Roman wanted to play a medieval theme, but had random modern appliances strewn about? Yeah, he’d accept that. Virgil throttled him? Sure, yeah, that would happen, that was still within the last 24 hours.

But this?

“Hey, Sleepytime Tea,” the Bard hummed, pecking Sleep’s cheek as he ducked past. “Thank you for the rescue!”

Deceit pointed at Sleep. “That. Is. One of our characters.”

Patton grinned, holding his other hand and pulling him along. “Mhm! Child said they’re all around the Imagination. Ooh, I’m excited to meet him!”

Oh, yeah, that was super explanatory! That solved ALL of Deceit’s problems! That made total and complete sense!

“Sleep,” the Playwright greeted, nodding to him as he slipped past.

Deceit was going to go absolutely feral one of these days.

Sleep tilted his sunglasses and grabbed Deceit’s back. “Let’s go, girls, into the lil’ house.”

“Remy,” the Artist murmured, pulling Patton in.

Sleep nodded to him as well, shoving Deceit into the room and closing the door. He threw two locks, then spun around to lean his back against it.

All five of them watched, varying levels of panic on their faces, while Sleep took a long sip of his coffee. They could definitely hear the guards interrogating someone outside, so it wouldn’t be long until they were approached.

“Are we gonna—” the Bard began, only to be silenced by Sleep raising his hand.

He pulled the straw away from his lips and exhaled.

“Oh my God,” Deceit mumbled, “And I thought Roman was dramatic. Holy shit, you’re a character.”

“Oh, honey, you haven’t seen anything yet,” Sleep lowered his sunglasses and winked.

He fixed them, raising his drink to behind the group, further into the building. “Alright, lets go. You all, like, super do not want to run into those guys.”

Sleep led the way. The room they’d entered into was a large foyer, to a house but not. He led them down the hall, up some stairs, up some more stairs, and then out into a bridge connecting this building to the next.

The Playwright nudged the Bard, once they were out on the bridge, and pointed silently at his eye.

That was right, the black eye and smudged make up was still clear as day. He couldn’t be having that. The Bard nodded and pressed a hand to his face. The make up vanished, reappearing as though it’d never been smudged with his tears. Carefully, he also pressed onto the bruise, and the skin all sank back in and flattened out into regularity.

It was best to not show his damage. Bad enough that he’d cried in front of the other Sides. He wasn’t about to walk around with an actual wound. It would bruise over regardless, there wasn’t anything he could do about that, but Roman didn’t want them to see him as anything other than, well. That depended on the Roman. The Bard didn’t want them to see him as anything other than beautiful.

Patton and Deceit didn’t notice. That was fine, perfect on all three Romans’ accounts. They followed right behind Sleep, the other three trailing at the rear. They’d already seen most of the Imagination, having been there when it was built (though building and navigating were two different skills); for the other two, everything was starkly new, even Sleep.

The Imagination did have more structure than they’d seen the other day. Arches, bridges, buildings that looked more defined.

Something certainly changed in the world. Maybe it was the same thing that caused the Imagination to have a regular day/night cycle? Deceit pursed his lips and summoned his notebook again, jotting down some notes. A curious world indeed.

Meanwhile, Patton was just getting excited. It was Sleep! He was an older character than, well, Patton! Granted, Patton wasn’t exactly a character, that was more so the length of time he’d been in front of the camera. But he could still remember the day when Roman pitched him — a sassy Sue, dressed to the sassy nines and going out to fun sassy parties while getting no sleep whatsoever. Logan might have thought it was on the nose to just tape a piece of paper to his shirt, but, hey, it worked!

“You’re Sleep, right? It’s really nice to meet you,” Patton said, bounding a little closer.

Sleep glanced back at him with a small smile and waved two fingers, a lazy salute. “Right back at you, Patton. Heard you’re a ball of punny sunshine — that’s the Morali-tea, sis.”

Ah, well, his reputation precedes him. Patton laughed, holding the wall, and Sleep grinned. “That’s a good one!” he covered his mouth and rubbed his cheeks a little, continuing. “Where’re we headed? Ooh, and also, do you….have any other name? Than Sleep?”

“Nah, nowhere in particular,” Sleep waved his hand dismissively, “And kinda? Emile calls me Remy. So does the fandom.”

“I think the fandom coined that one,” Deceit said, “A pleasure as well, Remy.”

Sleep put up a peace sign in greetings. “Yep. If you wanna go by names, then it’s, like, definitely all good to call me Remy,” he shrugged. “Either works. What can ya do.”

What can you do indeed. “Alrighty, Remy, you didn’t answer my first question though! I don’t think we’re just going to nowhere,” Patton picked up the conversation again.

“Oh, that. Right now we’re just walking around until I get the all clear.”

“The all clear,” the Playwright repeated, eyebrow raised.

“Mhm,” Remy took another sip of his drink and shrugged, “There’s a Starbucks down the hall if you nerds wanna get drinks, too.”

He pointed down a hall and — wait, where in the blazes were they?! Deceit stopped focusing on Remy’s back and looked around.

At the moment, they were in what looked like it could be a church, with stained glass windows and a high vaulted ceiling, save for the fact that it had no pews and was more like a crossroads. Some people walked past, shuffling around in the sides. Some of them looked like Thomas, actually. Possibly characters from other vines? Not all of them were marked with signs so clear as Remy’s.

It seemed that the Starbucks idea had been shot down, because Remy shrugged and led them to the left. As soon as they turned, though, his phone buzzed.

“You’re in my world now, not your world~ And I’ve got friends on the o—” Remy held the phone up to his ear, “Hey, girl, what’s up?”

He held up his drink, stopping the rest of the entourage, and nodded his head. “Mhm. Sounds gucci, I’ll bring these bitches back ‘round. See you in five,” he hung up quick and slid his phone back into his pocket.

Remy pivoted on his heel, facing the group once more with a broad smile. All his dramatics really reminded Patton of Roman, which was making him kind of sad. He missed his energy.

The Bard’s hand nudged Patton’s subtly, and they laced their hands together while Remy began explaining. “That’s the signal, back around this way!”

“Wait, are we walking all the way back?” the Artist asked, anger mounting in his tone, “Remy, you can’t be serious. Can’t we go to Emile’s office or something?”

“Nah, nah, I’m dropping you all off somewhere else. Emile’s got appointments all day today, anyway,” Remy shrugged, “If you wanted to hang with him so bad, you shoulda left your house.”

The Playwright snickered behind a hand, and the Artist elbowed him in the side. “Now, now, no fighting,” Patton said, eager to break up another dispute before it began, “I’m glad you’re out now.”

To that, though, the Artist just pulled his hood tighter around his head and mumbled incoherently. That was okay, it diffused the tension! Better awkward silences and mumblings than any actual physical fighting.

He didn’t even want to think of the implications of the Thief punching the Bard. What was that, Roman punching himself? Why would he be so okay with that?

Like, Patton knew. He’d been upset with himself since they met with the Playwright at the very, very, very beginning. He should have known Roman was self-conscious. It wasn’t the best kept secret.

Agh, he promised himself that he wouldn’t think about it! They were going to get Roman back! It was going to be okay, gosh darned it!

“Patton,” Deceit’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts, “Come now.”

Deceit carefully touched Patton’s free hand, wrapping his fingers around Patton’s.

The Bard was right, Patton decided right then and there. Deceit was surprisingly warm.

Patton gave his hand a squeeze, turning to him with a smile. “Thanks,” his voice was quiet, just for the two of them.

Deceit, human-side-of-face lightly flushed, returned the smile. But why would Deceit be blushing at him? Patton’s mind trailed off, just as Remy stopped the group yet again.

“Alright, we’re he~ere!” he sang out the word “here,” throwing open a door.

The reaction was instantaneous.

Patton lifted a hand, pointing fingers directly with the man standing in the opposite doorway, holding two pizza boxes and wearing the same blue polo, grey sweater, and khaki pants that he usually donned. The man dropped the pizzas onto the table besides himself and pointed as well.

“Oh, fucking hell,” Deceit groaned.

“Oh, fuck yeah,” the Bard fist pumped into the air.

Dad Guy smiled first. “I think I need new prescriptions! You’ve got me seeing double!”

A laugh from the kitchen indicated that he wasn’t alone. Patton grinned back, shooting Dad Guy some finger guns. “You can try mine! My prescriptions are Patton-edly perfect!”

“Awh, c’mere kiddo, great to meet you!”

“‘Kiddo?’ Haven’t you felt my shirt? It’s all Dad material right here.”

“The only material you’re gonna need is some new material! Can’t go around reusing old jokes!”

“Well, an old man’s gotta have old jokes! Double the puns and double the Dad!”

Remy patted Deceit’s back and gave him a sympathetic shrug. “I’ve gotta dip, gotta meet with some other people around the town. You know, midday naps and all that. Good luck with that,” he gestured to the two dads, who were exchanging one liners back and forth.

Deceit only responded with a glare that begged for mercy.

Remy laughed.

The Playwright walked past Patton and Dad Guy, into where Teacher Guy was sitting at another table, a stack of papers beside him that needed hypothetical grading. There’d been too many people, too much going on in the past day. He needed someone who he could trust to be quiet if needed and, thankfully, Teacher Guy asked much fewer questions than Logan.

The Artist motioned for Deceit to follow him to the other table with the Bard, who was already opening the top-most pizza box and stealing a few slices. The trio actually stole the entire top box and slunk away to another room, just up some stairs, while the other four traded silence and puns. There was a balcony opposite of two doors, presumably bedrooms, and they sat outside on the ground, huddled around the large box of pizza.

It was probably lunch time. They didn’t have Logan to tell them that eating on a schedule was a vital part of setting one’s internal clock, so the only indicator that it was “lunch time” was the tinge of hunger in each of their stomachs.  

“If this hasn’t been a day,” the Artist sighed.

“Oh, definitely. The Thief punched me earlier,” the Bard laughed a little before biting into a slice, talking through the food. “Y’ kn’w, ah d’n’t e’he’ i’.”

Deceit snorted, looking away and laughing into a hand while the Artist reprimanded him. “Oh my God, chew your fucking food.”

The Bard rolled his eyes and swallowed. “I mean, I didn’t expect it. To be honest, I always forget that the Thief’s a violent one.”

“I always remember. Ever since he glared at me ‘first time we formed, I’ve been a little iffy about him,” the Artist waved his third slice in a lazy shrug. “You’re lucky he doesn’t hate your guts.’

“Oh, you’re lucky that absolutely no one hates yours.”

“Really? Thief and Playwright always seem two strokes away from stabbing me.”

“That’s because they don’t understand art. I know they love you! And that’s why WE love each other, remember?” the Bard took a bite out of the Artist’s slice and ignored his offended huffs, “And Deceit! How are you feeling?”

Deceit blinked. He’d been taking in the conversation, trying to dissect the differences between every iteration of Roman.

The Artist and the Bard were an interesting pair. They seemed to be so similar, yet so distinctly different, what with the Artist being an introvert and the Bard more extroverted. The Artist working with physical mediums whereas the Bard performed. But those glaring differences seemed to mask differences in desire, intent — that’s what Deceit had to focus on.

“Hey, Bruce Banner, come back. We miss you,” the Bard patted his knee with a smile. “Are you feeling okay? This has probably been quite the journey, especially with how fast things’ve been happening.”

“Well,” Deceit should indulge the Romans, if only for a little, “It has been. I haven’t spent this much time with….any other. Sides. In a while.”

The Artist nodded sympathetically while the Bard blinked. He tilted his head. “Oh. I thought you and the Dark Sides...? You know? Worked together more.”

Deceit shrugged. He wasn’t revealing anything. “Perhaps we do. In that case, then, it’s the longest I’ve spent with such good company,” he smiled coyly at the Bard.

It took a few seconds, but once the Bard fully interpreted what he said, he flushed almost as bright as his waist sash. He giggled, running his hands through his hair and swaying from side to side.

The Artist beside him also turned red, but just squinted tiredly at Deceit. “C’mon, you don’t have to play us,” he grumbled quietly, “The Prince isn’t here.”

“I know Roman’s not just a prince, he’s much, much more,” Deceit leaned on his hand, resting his chin on it as he watched the Artist.

“Anyone’d know that. He’s an artist. A bard. Playwright, thief, dragon, damsel, child, he’s all of us. But he’s all still a big dumbass,” the Artist ran a hand through his hair, pursing his lips in frustration, “You don’t have to pretend to love us or anything.”

It was Deceit’s turn to be confused. He frowned, leaning back a little in contemplation. Here he thought he was being obvious. And while staying behind the guise of secrecy benefited him greatly, if it was upsetting Roman this much….“Do you really think everything that I say is insincere?”

“Well….” The Artist looked away, staring down the Bard, who was still a bubbly and flustered mess, “Yeah. ‘Course.”

….That did make a little sense. Deceit scooted closer to the Artist. “May I touch your face?” he asked, voice soft.

The Artist’s eyes flicked back up to him quickly before he looked down at the pizza box. There wasn’t any harm. And….he couldn’t say he didn’t want to be touched more. “Sure.”

Deceit lifted a hand to cup the Artist’s cheek, cradling his head as gently as he could. Unconsciously, the Artist leaned into it, exhaling slow as to not lose his self control.

This was….a dream. It had to be. Because Deceit had wished for this for so long, and he was very used to not getting what he wanted. He just had to keep it together.

“Roman, darling,” to that, even the Bard stopped swaying, listening to what Deceit said, “I can’t say I’m the most honest person, but I can promise you this is no lie.”

With that, he pressed a careful kiss to the Artist’s left temple. The Artist’s eyes went wide as saucers as he realized, with an incredible start, that Deceit. Had just kissed him. Deceit had just kissed him, one of the saddest versions of Roman in this miserable little game.

The Bard covered his mouth with both hands, but even that couldn’t hide his elation.

“Holy fuck.”

He fell backwards, laying on the ground with his arms splayed out. It felt like he….was whole.

The Damsel looked out the small window of his room, squinting into the bright light between the bars.

What had just happened? He reached up to his head and ran his hand slowly through his hair, grazing over his left temple.

It felt like someone had just….

Deceit smiled a tiny bit, watching the two Romans collectively lose their minds. He was adorable when flustered. “You’re beautiful. Every bit of you,” he said, trying to force the Artist, force Roman, to understand that he was being truthful.

Even if it was a part of Roman, it still meant the world for Deceit to know that Roman knew. They could write this off later, write it off as some —

Deceit wanted to scream. Hang the fuck on. Oh, holy shit. He’d just admitted it.

He leaned back, trying to keep his movements as slow and deliberate and not-panicked as they were before, but holy shit. He’d just said it. He was in love. It was a round-about statement, series of movements and signals, but of course it was, with him.

He was in love with Roman — was it just Roman? It was a different feeling, but the same feeling across the board. God, Deceit didn’t want to deal with this, not on top of everything he was learning about the Imagination and the other Sides. He lifted a hand to his face and rubbed his scaled forehead, tugging his hat down just a tiny bit more. At least the Romans didn’t notice his sudden and extreme change in posture.

Their collective stupor was disturbed by a shout from below, and then the Playwright calling them downstairs.

“ARTIST! WE FUCKING FORGOT TO TELL THEM!” he snapped, “GET DOWN HERE, HURRY!”

The Artist swore, clearing his throat and standing up. “We, uh, we need to go downstairs, go ahead,” he motioned for Deceit and the Bard to leave, “Ah, fuck, I’m sorry.”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay!” the Bard picked up the empty pizza box and looped his other arm around Deceit’s, much to the snake’s chagrin. “And we’ll let you tell the others later, okay? We don’t want you to feel uncomfortable at all.”

That was….kind. Deceit didn’t know how to respond, he’d kind of expected the Bard to excitedly blurt it out at some point. Perhaps he would. Deceit couldn’t trust that.

He nodded, and the Bard grinned. He led the way down the stairs, barreling through the kitchen and setting the box down before entering the main room again.

The Playwright, Patton, Dad Guy, and Teacher Guy were all sitting around in a circle. The second couch was empty, so the Bard pulled Deceit onto it, paying the utmost attention. The Artist just sank into the couch on Deceit’s other side, eyes locked onto some papers on the table. Two of them were open, letters that had been opened and were now folded back into the envelopes they’d come from. Only the letter’s receiver’s name was visible, but that gave quite a bit of backstory by themselves.

Cordial invitation of Dad Guy to the Entry Gala — in celebration of Morality, Logic, Anxiety, and Deceit’s welcome to the Imagination.

Cordial invitation of Teacher Guy to the Entry Gala — in celebration of Morality, Logic, Anxiety, and Deceit’s welcome to the Imagination.

On the stack’s top was another letter, with a red kiss mark where the stamp would typically go.

Honorable invitation of Patton ‘Morality’ Sanders to the Entry Gala — in celebration of your welcome to the Imagination.

“Ew, he kissed it,” the Bard bit his lip and looked up, scanning the Playwright’s face. “What is it? I’m guessing it’s from Dragon?”

The Playwright nodded to Patton, and he picked up his invitation and cut it open. Quickly, his eyes scanned it over, and a frown overtook his features. “This’ so weird, a gala? Like a party?”

“That’s my suspicion,” the Playwright said, then rubbed the back of his neck. “We all know, er….”

“Roman’s got a flair for the dramatics,” the Artist continued, voice soft, “Dragon got a lot of that.”

“But not all!” the Bard raised his hands up in Roman’s typical princely pose, grinning cheekily.

The Playwright and the Artist both rolled their eyes. “Yes,” the Playwright said. “It looks as though Dragon is trying to lure us all to the castle.”

“....Gosh,” Patton breathed, setting the invitation down on the table, so everyone could read it.

His hand was shaking a little. He did want to see the Dragon, of course, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t nervous about the implications of the letter. And a part of him hoped that….it hadn’t been the Dragon who sent it. Maybe the other Romans were wrong. Maybe the Prince, HIS prince, was there.

To Patton,

Roman ‘Dragon’ Sanders invites you to a masquerade gala celebrating your entrance into the Imagination, as well as Logan, Virgil, and Deceit’s. Please provide your own costume and mask, as this will be a masquerade ball.

It will be a grand evening of food, dance, and excitement, made all the better with your attendance. Entry at the Drawbridge gate tonight, gates open at sundown.

No RSVP required.

See you soon, my love.

Prince Roman

“Oh, fuck him, he’s just gonna sign it like that? What a lilly-livered jackass!” the Bard’s nose scrunched up.

He leaned back again and turned up his head, repulsed by the Dragon’s blatant arrogance.  And the gall, calling Patton his love! It was like he got all the pride and none of the brains! What the hell! The Bard almost wanted to trade him one bit of self-indulgence.

Oh, he might have to throw some of his own punches, once he came face to face with the Dragon. What a disgrace to the Prince’s memory!

“It’s not somethin’ to celebrate,” Dad Guy said, a small smile on his face. The way his brows pinched definitely betrayed his worry.

Teacher Guy still patted his shoulder and shook his head. “Not the time, Dad.”

“Sorry, you know I goof when I’m nervous.”

“Hang on,” the Artist said, rereading the note, “Playwright and my invitations were different.”

He reached into his hoodie pocket and took out his own invitation, spreading it out on the table.

To Roman ‘Artist’ Sanders,

Roman ‘Dragon’ Sanders invites you to a masquerade gala celebrating Morality, Logic, Anxiety, and Deceit’s entrance into the Imagination. Please provide your own costume and mask, as this will be a masquerade ball.

It will be a grand evening of food, dance, and excitement — with a very special and very familiar guest. Entry at the Drawbridge gate tonight, gates open at sundown.

No RSVP required.

Come prepared.

“He’s….so he’s pretending to be Prince,” Deceit bit his tongue. “That has got to be who the guest is, in your invitation.”

He picked up both letters, turning them around to face himself as he turned over the phrasing in his mind. This was almost his area of expertise. The minute changes of word, the different references to the Prince, everything was catered to the recipient of the letter. Probably as a means to get whoever the letter was sent to do go.

Him and Patton both couldn’t hide their disappointment, but….it did make sense, in his world. The Dragon was manipulating them into attending, offering whatever he could.

“I don’t get it,” the Bard said, crossing his arms, “What’s the point of this? A ball? Like, that sounds flipping sweet, but for what?”

The Playwright responded. “My hypothesis is that it’s to get us all in one place. Every one of us figments, and every Side, but I don’t understand why he would—”

“Okay, so he’s gonna kill us on the dance floor,” the Artist said, pulling his knees up to his chest.

“Why do you think he’s inviting us, then?” Teacher Guy asked, “I mean, we’re probably going? Not much danger for us, and, well….”

“I wanna dance with you,” Dad Guy declared, throwing his arm around Teacher Guy’s shoulders.

Teacher Guy smiled, patting Dad Guy’s shoulder fondly as he turned to the Playwright again with more questions on his tongue. “It’s a free party. Knowing that we’re all Thomas, there’ll probably be pizza. Why do you think he’s throwing it all like a party? And what’s the point of having the costumes?”

“Dramatics?” the Playwright offered, voice weak in confusion. “The Dragon would have to figure out which costumed Thomas-esque people are the Sides, are us, and are, well, characters.”

The Artist exhaled sharply. “This is a long way to go for aesthetics. That can’t be all he wants.”

“Either way, we should go,” Patton said, voice soft, “We….Deceit, we were all talking about this. We’ve gotta talk to the Dragon.”

Deceit looked up from the letters, meeting Patton’s eyes with understanding. He nodded slowly. “I agree. No doubt it’s a trap. Of course, of course it’s a trap,” his brain was working at the speed of light, trying to figure out the smartest passage through this, “But we do need to meet him.”

A beat of silence followed that declaration.

Patton was afraid. They couldn’t not meet the Dragon — he was a part of Roman! And every part was valuable and loved and he needed to hug — but the way that the Artist curled in on himself, the way that the Playwright was squeezing his knees with his fists, the way that the Bard was trying to smile, as though it could cover up all of their fears…. It was going to be okay. It was all going to be okay. He was going to talk to the Dragon and give him a scolding. And, if he managed to get through to the Dragon, then it might help the other Romans not be afraid of that part of him. That was what mattered most.

Of course this would be difficult. Deceit would have to tread carefully. He didn’t want to risk any more damage to Roman’s psyche. He almost wanted to forget that kiss, that stupid kiss, because now it was dwelling too heavily on his mind for him to focus on the task at hand. This gala, this party that the Dragon was throwing….did he have the Prince? None of the Romans knew where Prince had gone. The way they talked about him made it sound like he was dead.

There was no way he was dead. And there was no way Deceit was going to let any of them get hurt, either.

At least the other Romans weren’t arguing back this time around. Hopefully they’d been convinced of this turn’s necessity.

God, he was so happy he didn’t have to talk in circles around this topic.

“Well, um,” Dad Guy fidgeted with the sleeve of his cardigan, “I don’t know what you all wanna do now. I’ve got cookies in—”

A sharp knock at the door shut him up. They all froze, huddled in their seats and couches. Deceit actually drew one of his daggers, poised to fight if need be. This was poor timing for the guards to have found them.

The door flung open.

There was Remy, glasses slipping down his nose, panting. He fixed his glasses and waved an arm across his body.

“Guys. You’re gonna wanna come with me, pronto,” he pointed at Dad Guy and Teacher Guy, “Emile needs them. You’re good.”

“Awh, but I just made cookies,” Dad Guy said.

“We can bring them the cookies later,” Teacher Guy offered, to which Dad Guy immediately brightened up, clapping.

“You’re right! We’ll bring you cookies later!”

“What happened?” the Playwright asked, fixing his glasses.

Remy usually didn’t run. He liked to take his time, make things easy for himself. What might have caused this sudden conundrum?

“Can’t answer that right now, we’ve gotta get going,” Remy wasn’t even holding a Starbucks cup as he fixed his glasses and motioned to them again, “You really need to see this.”

[xp-egg]

paranoia/mental illness/disturbing tw.. related to the post i made on my main blog

So im about to drive up to see my mama for hanukkah, alone as i do each yr. redacted THING happened a few summers ago but essentially bc of it she believes ppl from [Japanese automobile corporation] tried to m*rder her on the job nd now cant keep a job or a place to live so she lives w my baba . i havent talked to her in a year for reasons i will explain ...so we r texting abt my travel plan, cooking plan, talking for the first time all yr besides birthday wishes n stuff, shes talking normally, we say our goodbyes/cantwaittoseeyous. bht 12ish hours later she sends me, un-explained with no preface, a cryptic list of what i slowly figure out are license plate numbers out of nowhere n says ppl are trying to run her over n cackling (this is not new.. just i havent had to deal w it all year and i was hoping she could let it go for just a few days....), i ask if she has gotten to a safe place and ofc she says shit like 'well unfortunately natasha i will never be safe. they follow me at all moments and one day you will read abt ur mother having been killed, etc etc.' like omg i just cant talk to u. At all. Anymore. can i not have one day.. without this... please g*d... she cant be around ANYONE bc she thinks they are all working w [car company] conspiring to m*rder, slander, whatever her.. shes lost 12 jobs in the past 4 years. everytime we go out in public she screams at people for even glancing at her/smiling at her and claims they were [doing some weird threatening thing they certainly werent ? .. like sometimes ppl with certain names or wearing A CERTAIN COLOR is enough to be a SIGN and she loses it and starts telling them loudly to fuck off and stop looking at her.... my non-hallucinating brain as a witness] and im mildly concerned someone WILL kill her in retaliation for her being insane in their face.. (she had some guy start yelling back at her and she recorded it as 'proof'. He was clearly very annoyed at her saying terrible accusations at him when he was trying to mind his fucking business.....it was indescribably scary but like can i blame him? she was being highly inappropriate publically.. SHE was prob scaring HIM. she scares me lmao) like she has been so mild mannered and rational her whole life.. she has a degree in chemistry and a literal genius IQ. its like watching a loving animal slowly go violently rabid. It Sucks

last year she finally accused ME of also being paid off/threatened by [company] to conspire against her JUST bc i went to visit her older brothers family (my aunt n cousins who are the family members ive been closest to our whole lives aside from my mother nd baba) w my bf at the time bc i wanted him to meet my non-insane family members..... JUST FOR VISITING MY OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS BC THEY ARE EXPECTING ME TO VISIT N THEY LOVE ME ? Like they love my mom too but multiple years of being accused of being bought off, or [company] threatening to m*rder my cousins (she always says the most brutal and disturbingly specific details too) if they didnt do whatever thing would intimidate my mom, [in this case purchasing the most affordable reliable new family car they could from [company] ..it WAS right after she told them about her initial event but likethey needed a new car and her claims are literally delusional. i rly dont want to disown my other family for that but its a hard decision.. terrible situation], but being accused to conspire to m*rder her gets tiring so they gave up a while ago. when she accused ME even tho i have been the literal last person to stand by her for the past 4.5 years.. i never made her feel like her claims were impossible even when literally everyone else did bc i figured she needed a buoy.. i said fuck it i can't talk to you anymore. i will start going insane too . we have all tried to comfortingly reason w her (well i didnt for a while, i just wholly accepted her story without trying to reason with her INSANE JUMPS IN CORRELATION.. fully bizarre and delusional.. bc i wanted to support her), i spent so much more money getting a less reliable car just to avoid buying from [company], supported her contacting the authorities (obviously they can't help bc she is making insane claims), make her feel as safe n protected.. did as much as we possibly could but like... theres a limit. this is year 4.5 of this, every day, every hour. EVERY year she says well the dirt on [company] will get out this year.. youll see.. ill be validated (essentially). she went to inpatient treatment and she said they accused her of having barbituates in her system when she arrived (what) nd the only diagnosis they gave her was 'rule out paranoid delusion' (bro come on... she thinks EVERYONE is trying to k*ll her.. help) so she wont get any more help. i want to at least try and save my baba bc she is old and puts up w this every single day. but on top of having my own problems, by saving my baba id be damning my mother, or myself. i never know what to do....

but well anyways i love driving hours into a fucking hornets nest each year. at least there are latkes ig

[greennightspider]

Fated Instinct Chapter 12: Confess. Confess and Repent.

Summary: Sequel to Cabin in the Snow. Akari finds herself in a predicament after an accidental overnight stay in a cabin grants her the title of fiance to the chieftain-to-be M’Baku himself.

Author’s Note: Yes it is dialogue-heavy forgiveth meh but also YAY I MADE MY SELF IMPOSED DEADLINE! 

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7 Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 13, Chapter 14,  Chapter 15, Chapter 16,  Chapter 17,  Chapter 18, Chapter 19,  Chapter 19(2),  Chapter 20,  Chapter 20(2),  Chapter 21,  Chapter 22, Chapter 23,  Chapter 24

Bonus Chapter 21.5

M’Baku x Akari (OC)

“Please, please help me.”

Akari took a moment to process what was happening, especially because she had thought she was going to have to throw fists, not hold hands.

"Akari please I cant do this anymore." N'Ceba started sobbing quietly, tears falling down her cheeks leaving Akari to try to switch from ‘fight mode’ to ‘friend mode’. Part of her was wondering if this was a ploy for sympathy, but until she heard her out Akari decided to comfort her sobbing classmate with an arm and gently sit her down, as N'Ceba looked like she was going to collapse.

"N'Ceba,” Akari started, slowly. “Tell me what's wrong."

"Akari I'm sorry I'm so sorry." N'Ceba choked through tears. "I didn't wanna do this right from the very beginning but I had no choice but everything was fine until the challenge day and then you and Baku got involved and I felt like shit-"

"Hey hey hey," Akari tried to soothe N'Ceba, who was clearly on a rambling confession. "Deep breaths, just deep breaths." She calmly instructed, with N'Ceba following her commands, which seemed to slightly lessen. "Why dont you start from the beginning, okay?"

"Okay." N'Ceba sniffed. Act or no act Akari couldnt help feeling sorry for her, it was hard to watch someone be so broken. Especially N’Ceba. Aside from her current ‘personal space issue’ with M’Baku, Akari could admit that N’Ceba was nice to be around. She was generally a happy person, always smiling, always happy, always social. Akari had never seen N’Ceba even come close to crying, even she accidentally got hit in the face full force with a ball.

"A couple of years ago, my father and his family took me to the palace and introduced me to Uuka. We would often go to the palace as my dad is a noble. We grew close and as luck would have it, Uuka and I slowly fell in love. He was so warm and kind and caring, I mean how could I not?" N'Ceba sniffed with a nostalgic smile before biting her lip. “He always looked out for me and cared for me. And one day in secret, since Uuka isn’t really one for big huge showy things, he went and told my father that he was the man I would marry one day." N'Ceba wiped her eyes as she continued. "While it wasn't anything official at the time, but it was something. We were going to tell people after the challenge day.” Akari’s eyes lowered and her mouth slightly parted as she knew where this was going.

"But the on the day of the challenge, when Uuka lost to M'Baku, everything shattered. What I hadnt realised at the time was that my father didnt want me to be with Uuka purely because he thought we were a "good match". No, he wanted our bloodline to continue in the Jabari throne. How stupid of me not to realise." N'Ceba chastised herself with a laugh, and Akari couldnt help but wince. Whatever misgivings she had, she didn’t think N'Ceba was stupid for thinking her own father wanted the best for her.

"It wasn’t enough that Uuka was good to me and treated me well and that he was a prince, no my father wanted his grandchildren to be friggin heirs." N'Ceba scoffed.

"Right after the challenge took place my father dragged me away by the arm and told me that from then on I was to act in a way that M'Baku would favour me. Or else. You know he would have beaten me if he wasn’t sure that it would affect my chances at wooing Baku."

"Ever since then I have acted the way my father wanted me to act. Slowly becoming closer with M'Baku, playing the typical 'fangirl'. And I know this all sounds fucked up but even you remember people never used to talk about me and M'Baku until a couple years ago." N’Ceba "And then when you came into the picture..."

"You were scared for your life."

N’Ceba barely nodded. "My father had pressured me to double my efforts, but it was pretty clear from the Winter Solstice Banquet that you two were a thing." Akari bit her lip and narrowed her eyes looking up, wondering if this really was the best time to divulge the whole ‘getting love-drugged’ story, but Akari thought it best to save for another time.

“Does Uuka know?” Akari questioned, but N’Ceba’s face said it all. “Uuka is the 'or else' isnt he.”

“I kept my distance since then.” N’Ceba sniffed. “

“Please Akari know that I am sorry I never meant to-“

“Its okay.” Akari held a hand up. "I get it now."

“But Akari this wasn’t supposed to be just me apologizing, I also came to warn you.” N’Ceba took a deep breath before speaking. “My father… even I’m not sure what lengths he would go to… have a foothold on the throne. I know it’s dangerous to speak of these things-“

Akari gripped her shoulder, settling into her serious demeanor. "N'Ceba it is treason."

“I know that!” N’Ceba exclaimed, gritting her teeth. “I know. And I have known for a long time. But I care about M'Baku. And I don’t want to see you two, or anyone else get hurt in the crossfire."

"Have you told anyone else?"

"No, I haven't. To be honest my father has eyes and ears everywhere and I can't be sure who is watching. Its why I have to keep the act up even at school." N’Ceba made a subtle glance at the door. I guess I’m not the only one with trust issues here… Akari mused. “And what exactly did you need my help for?” She drew out slowly.

“To believe me.” N’Ceba gripped her Akari’s hands. “That is my favour, believe me. Please.”

Akari exhaled and looked into N’Ceba’s eyes, judging her worth. Her story did fill some holes, however it was the fact that she would even dare speak of treason to Akari, that she would risk the stature of herself, her father and her family to only ask for belief.

“I only have one-

“I have no feelings towards M’Baku.” N’Ceba reading Akari’s expression. “I still love Uuka.”

“Okay.”

“Like I really love him.”

“Okay.”

“Like have you seen him shirtless? Like I mean those back muscles though.

“Ooookay.”

“And like you’d think he’d be all nice and sappy but when I well you he can be damn dominant-“

“OKAY THAT’S ENOUGH INFO!” N’Ceba burst out laughing at Akari’s outburst, who followerd suit with a laugh shortly after. “Well I’m sorry! It’s the first time I’ve ever been able to talk to anyone about it. About.. about everything.”

Akari gave her a sympathetic smile. “Don’t worry, I am 80% convinced.” N’Ceba laughed “Well I can’t blame you. I’d probably be more worried for you if you weren’t at least cautious.”

“Speaking of… in terms of who to trust. I think there’s at least one person that I know of in the palace who would be forever trustworthy, and that is the high priest.”

Akari tried not to tense up as flashbacks of birthing potions flooded her mind at the mention of the zealous priest. “And why would you say that?” She grimaced.

“Oh,” N’Ceba smiled. “He’s my grand-uncle.”

“…sorry he’s your WHAT??”

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 “My nephew. When will you let go of this obsession, this fixation that plagues you.”

“You know exactly why uncle.” The figure hissed. The two figures illuminated only in the light of the fire and candles of the temple, and the fire of the heated temper of the younger.

“M’Baku and Akari have been bound by the ritual.” The priest’s eyes followed his young nephew.

“It was an accident.” He scoffed.

“Did you not see for yourself at the Winter Solstice banquet?” The priest gripped his staff and furrowed his brows. “He has already pledged himself to her. They are in love. There is no going against the will of Hanuman.”

“We were so close.” The figure who paced in the amber light of the fire made no motion to show that he had heeded the old man’s words. “So close to gaining the bloodline of the throne and then that boy-” He all but spat, “Had to lose to that oaf and that harlot, Eshile’s daughter-

“Beware of how you speak!” The priest boomed. “They are the future bloodline of the throne, not ours!”

The priest then bit his lip in the silence filled the room after his outburst, tears threatened to adorn his eyes. “Why can you not let my niece be happy?”

“Happy??”

“Yes. To be free of this grudge, to be happy in her own right.”

“There will be no happiness for my family until we are where we belong.” The figure stormed away from his aging relative, who mourned the darkness in his nephew that saw no signs of regressing. He made for the darkness of the night that would conceal his intentions, gritting his teeth in the snowfall of the night. “Until we have what we deserve.”

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