#please know that i am autistic and i tend to over explain because i am worried people wont understand | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

saydams · 8 months ago

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i am going to start with the easiest way first. again, i can modify this to be simpler (hint: duct tape is actually amazing) or to do something different if you need.

the easiest way is going to be the "quick and dirty" horizontal chest strap i suggested just above. we can add the velcro option to it for more stability.

(the version i describe below isnt actually "quick and dirty". it's a permanant version that should be functional, comfortable, and not fall apart.)

the easiest way is going to be the "quick and dirty" horizontal chest strap i suggested just above. we can add the velcro option to it for more stability.

you will need:

flexible tape measure, or a long string you can wrap around yourself and a ruler to measure the string afterwards.

scissors that can cut fabric and velcro tape

a vinyl tablecloth or big piece of cardboard or newspaper or something to protect your table from glue spills.

an alcohol prep pad or some rubbing alcohol and a tissue, to clean the wheelchair back where you will be attaching velcro

fabric to make the chest strap (we will measure for length soon)

(you might like a pre-quilted fabric for comfort and padding, and fewer wrinkles. this is basically like if you cut up a quilt into strips, but without ruining your blanket.) you might also like something sturdy like denim (when you see 12oz or 7oz that's the thickness. think of jeans. less than 12 oz are lgihtweight jeans, 12 oz is medium weight, and 16 oz is heavyweight)

if you are using pre-quilted fabric, you will need some fabric strips or ribbon to fold over the edges and cover the cut ends (so the stuffing doesnt show) 1 inch or more wide for ribbon, 1.5 - 2 inch wide for fabric strips.

some rope or cord or ribbon to wrap around the headrest and loop around chest strap behind you

velcro strips for the chair back and also to close the overlapping ends of the chest piece. i suggest at least 1 inch wide as you will have to line the fuzzy strip and the hooked strip up on top of each other on your chest every time you put it on. wider strips will be easier to match up. again, we will figure out how much you need later (the plain velcro tape i linked just below is more than you need, but it is a good quality one at 1 inch wide. the shorter lengths i found were too narrow or poor quality. if you think 3/4 inch is fine, you can go with 5 feet in multiple colors here.)

i am going to suggest you use plain velcro tape (no attached glue) for this project. sticky velcro tape (with a glue under a peel off paper strip) wont stick as well to the fabric. however, if you want to use the sticky stuff, i bet you could use a stapler with it and it would work frusteratingly, the easiest thing to do would be to use 2 kinds of velcro for this one project. plain velcro tape on the fabric and sticky-backed velcro tape for the metal on your chair back. if you do this you will only need the "soft" or "loop" part of the sticky-backed velcro. you will use your plain velcro for the "scratchy" or "hook" side

you may need a couple of glues:

fabric glue or a hot glue gun for gluing fabrics to each other and for gluing the plain velcro to the fabric. (skip this if you are going to sew everything instead) if you use fabric glue you will also some clothespins or heavy books or something to hold things together until they dry. also i suggest some plastic shopping bags or a trash bag (not the "flex" trash bags) to keep your books from sticking to your project. i also find that it's nice to have some glue spreaders just in case. you can use little strips of cereal box, the handle of a plastic knife, or coffee stirrers. (if using hot glue gun you wont need clothespins, weights, plastic bags, or glue spreaders) and then to attach your velcro to the metal chair back, you can use the sticky-backed velcro i mentioned above, or you can use thick superglue or something similar to attach your plain velcro (let me know if you want more info)

other things you might need: if you are going no-sew, you may need a few large safety pins and/or a stapler.

i think that's everything! if you are sewing instead of gluing, you will of course need sewing machine, thread, needles.... you know. sewing stuff.

if you have a sewing machine (or can hand sew) you can sew the edging and the velcro onto the chest strap instead of gluing if you want. (let me know if you want instructions for that, happy to give them if needed)

ok i am going to help you with the measuring so you know how much material you need. then i will take a break!

here is the picture i drew just above, for easy reference. it's exactly the same.

you will need your flexible measuring tape (or piece of string), a buddy, and a way of taking notes. a big mirror might also be helpful but not necessary. oh! and some masking tape to mark your chair (or if you dont have any, some clear tape and some straight bits of paper. you can tape the paper on the chair back to mark positions.

you are going to sit in your chair, in the posture you want to maintain. have your buddy wrap the string around the back of your chair following the pink band in the picture, and then around to your front. you can adjust it to the hight you want and then have your buddy make sure the measuring tape is lying straight across the back, not drooping down or sliding at an angle. (if the top and bottom of where you want the strap are different measurements, go with the bigger one.

record that number. we can call it the "around chest"

now you need to figure out how much the strap should overlap. (probably more is better, for comfort and better hold? also it will be more adjustable for weight changes or a heavy coat). measure that distance that you want it to overlap across your front.

record that number. this will be the "overlap"

now decide how wide you want the strap to be. that is, how high and low on your front do you want it to go? measure that vertical distance

record that number. this will be the "strap width"

you also need to make a mark on your chair back how high and low you want the strap to be. we will need to know that to figure out the velcro. have your buddy put bits of masking tape (or tape bits of paper) to the chair back so you can reference them later.

now is probably also a good time to figure out if you want 2 areas of velcro on the overlap in the front, or one long continuous one. im not sure which one will be easier for you. i am thinking maybe two: a vertical patch on the left side to hold the straps together, then a bigger patch (of two horizontal strips) that starts just past that and stretches the rest of the overlap to the right, to properly position and tension?

ok! the rest of the measurements are on the back of your chair, so either you can have your buddy do them or you will have to relocate to see the back haha.

you are going to be putting velcro on any exposed metal (that i was calling hard plastic before but then i went to the comfort company's site and oops it's metal isn't it) that the chest strap is going to cross over. (look at the masking tape/bits of taped paper to see what will be covered)

now, this is important because i realized i made a mistake. i put the velcro vertically, but it will have the best hold if you can stick it on horizontally instead (the direction of the pull). so i am thinking 2 or 3 horizontal strips across the bend from the back to the sides, and then a vertical strip along the metal edge at the outermost edge of the seatback.

(if you dont need access to those 2 holes (on the metal sides of the back, above those (armrest?) brackets), you could instead run the 3 horizontal velcro strips all the way along the metal from the inner edge to the outer edge. it all depends on where you have your brackets positioned, and if you need to be able to add stuff/move stuff a lot.)

so what i want to know is how long each of those strips of velcro will be? (i dont really need to know each number, but we want to make sure we bought enough, so just add them all together.

record this number. this is the "total sticky-backed velcro"

last measurement! the rope or cord (that will tie around the headrest and the chest strap behind the chair back) shown in purple in the drawing above. this will be an estimate. just sort of wrap your tape measure in an oval shape around the headrest and the left side of the chest strap. double it.

record this number. this is our "back tie"

great! take a break. next is math, then you can order your supplies.

now we have to do math. if you are not good with math, that's ok. i will explain. (or, if you are not up to it right now, send me all the measurements you just did and i will do the math for you. you dont have to read any further down this post)

first, how much chest strap fabric do we need?

chest strap fabric length = "around chest" + "overlap" + "overlap"

(if you are making it out of pre-quilted fabric, that is the length. if you are making it out of another fabric, it will need to be hemmed. add 2 inches to the total)

chest strap fabric width = "strap width"

(if you are making it out of pre-quilted fabric, that is the width. if you are making it out of another fabric, you will need to AT LEAST hem it but you should probably fold it in half so it is two layers. so add 2 inches to the total for hemming. then add another "strap width" if you want it two layers. that is, you would want the total fabric width to be: "strap width" + "strap width" + 2 inches)

now we know the width of the fabric and the length. when buying fabrics though they wont sell it that way. you need to know the length of the "bolt" (that's how wide the fabric comes. it's always gonna be that wide when you buy it. you just get to tell them how long you want them to cut. different fabrics will all be different widths.) when you want a long narrow piece like you do for this project, you are probably going to need to order it backwards. that is, you check the width of the bolt and see if it is long enough for your whole length or if you will have to double it. if it's long enough, you can order just the 10 inches of fabric you need for the width. but probably what will happen is the bolt isnt wide enough. so you order, (in our 10 inch example) 20 inches of the fabric. then when you get it home you cut it into two 10 inch wide strips, and attach them together in the middle.

again i can help you with this. no fear.

next, edge binding ribbon: (if you are using pre-quilted fabric)

if you are making your chest strap out of pre-quilted fabric next you need your fabric strips or your 1 inch wide ribbon (ribbon is expensive at joannes so i suggest shopping online if you are going to use ribbon)

you need enough to go around your whole chest strap. you can use the "chest strap fabric length" you came up with above, + "strap width". now multiply by 2. and you will want to be able to fold under the cut ends. so add 2 inches.

so that was:

"around chest" + "overlap" + "overlap" + "strap width" = "subtotal"

("subtotal" x 2) + 2 = "edge binding ribbon"

then, headrest tie:

take your "back tie" measurement from above and add enough to tie a bow. i suggest at least 12 inches.

last, plain (non-sticky) velcro:

we are just going to estimate because we just want to make sure we bought enough (if you are going with the 1" roll i suggested, there is plenty and you dont need to do this step. im just making sure its enough if you went for the 3/4" 5 ft package instead)

i am estimating we will need at least 2.5 - 3 ft for the front. so if you went with the smaller, thinner 5 ft roll, as long as the total of sticky-backed velcro you measured above is 2 - 2.5 feet, that should be fine. if the sticky-backed is more than that, you should go with the 1" plain roll i linked. (does this make sense?) or you could buy 2 of the 5 ft rolls if you want the colored tape.

god i hope this makes sense. so sorry if not! take your time.

tho in other news. insurance approved headrest & better cushion for manual chair n deliver in half a month maybe help with neck instability 🎉

haha though when body get tired slump forward like shrimp spine slump forward neck slump forward don’t have ability keep body up even if backrest really leaned back so idk if will actually lean on headrest

maybe make self chest strap time… with pretty fabric

how to attach to chair though is. question

and. headrest going to be idk. probably another 5-10 lb weight? putting “ultra light” manual chair 50+ lb total.

they should make these shit lighter

one reason hesitant for joy stick based power assist like e fix is because add 50+lb weight (another is insurance prob won’t cover nor have enough time until lose insurance but whatever). at this point 50 more lb not matter if can’t propel current chair weight anyway

#i hope this isnt too annoying :)#please know that i am autistic and i tend to over explain because i am worried people wont understand #im not trying to be condescending or anything i am sincerely just trying to be helpful.#so i hope it comes across ok!#anyway be well

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infinitelyprecious · 6 months ago

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An autistic person's view on the scene where Aylin decided to open up to the group.

2 disclaimers: 1) Aylin is not confirmed/canonically autistic (afaik), however she heavily reads as one to me, hence why I'm writing this specifically from an autistic pov. 2) I am just one singular autistic person, I do not speak for all of us as a whole, if you're autistic and have different view on this, that is valid.

Part of all this is teenagers being teenagers and I don't expect them to have the knowledge or life experience to handle situations like these particularly well, so this is more me getting my own thoughts and feelings in order. Maybe it can be educational in a way. I'm withholding judgment on how the show itself is handling Aylin's story until the show has finished airing.

Aylin goes to talk with the group, bless her brave heart.

Ton, the smart-ass, asks why Aylin acts like an alien when she knows her loved ones don't see her like that. I get that the writers wanted her to explain at some point why she identifies with aliens specifically, but please, for the love of all that is good, do not say something like this.

This question only shows that her friends in fact, do see her as an alien. They don't accept her like she is, they ask her why she is the way that she is. It keeps boiling down to "Why is she not like us?"

She might be different from the rest of the group, but she is normal. There's nothing abouts her that needs to be fixed. If she wants to learn more social skills for example, that is completely fine. However, it should not be a requirement. And if she wants to learn, patience is important.

Social settings with neurotypical people tend to be overwhelming and use up a lot of energy for autistic people. It's important to go slow and respect her declines if she doesn't feel up to socializing. The last thing you want is for someone to feel like they have to mask or for them to experience a meltdown as a result.

Aylin answers that humans being unfriendly is the reason she 'acts like an alien'. She's been made to feel like she is not welcome, like she isn't just another human worthy of love and respect. It's very understandable for her to then want to remove herself from her human identity and look for friends in other-worldly beings. They don't bully.

It's interesting to me that the whole group stays silent when Alpha asks who did something to her. Did they forget about Aylin shoving a plate in Ton's face or do they think she was in the wrong there?

Because she wasn't. It was visible in her body language and verbal declines that she was uncomfortable and yet they pushed her.

It tends to be harder for autistic folk to handle unexpected situations. Reactions like that are very normal if you get an autistic person into a situation that is overwhelming. They'll go into their fight or flight and things go wrong. That is not their fault.

Aylin goes on to explain what happened and Mawin finishes her sentence for her. Or rather, speaks his conclusion before Ailyn is finished talking. I think this is pretty common decency, but don't talk over people when they are trying to tell you something, especially when they are being vulnerable. Even if they talk slower (which Aylin didn't do, but it's something I've experienced a lot). Please bite your tongue and let people finish talking.

Ton, again, says something he shouldn't have, but thankfully Luna steps in this time.

Then Sun. "Do you know that those who bully and harass people are not actually humans?" The main problem I have with this sentence is that it feels belittling. This might just be a me thing, but the way she says it comes across as if she's pointing out that Aylin's perception of the situation is incorrect.

But they are humans, shitty ones, but still humans and Aylin has every right to view humans as a whole as untrustworthy, because that has likely been her experience. The thing I would've preferred here, would be to jump directly to saying those bullies are garbage. That would've come across more validating.

After this, the friends exchange a couple sentences about how to handle bullies. Which is lovely, except, they talk about Aylin as if she isn't there. She just bore her heart - comfort her. Talk about how to handle bullies later, don't let her swim in the discomfort of vulnerability.

Then Sun goes to touch Aylin?!?!? Again, Aylin is visibly uncomfortable. Please, please, if someone is uncomfortable to be touched, do not touch them. Also, ask! Ask for consent. Again, probably a common decency thing, but the amount of times I've had people go like yeah no worries, but then still touch me is high up. A casual hand on the shoulder is still touch, a handshake is still touch.

Related to that is personal space. Some people's, like Aylin's, personal space is big. They need a good distance from other people in order to be comfortable. If there is one thing I can ask of you it's to try and be observant of that. So that if someone takes a step away from you, you don't step closer again, but allow them their space.

I've had conversations with people about personal space and somehow it blows people's mind that I am most comfortable when there is a significant bigger amount of space between us than they would initially think. Please try to leave space between you and other people. For some people physical closeness is severely overwhelming and it makes it significantly harder to navigate our daily lives.

I do love Ongsa specifically saying Aylin can hangout and eat with them. Often times when you've spend your entire live being non-verbally rejected, it's very hard to feel like you are wanted somewhere. You're always looking for signs that people don't want you there. Having it specifically confirmed that someone does want you there, can be very assuring.

Ton. I would like for Ton to not talk for a while lol. On the surface it might sound nice that someone wants to start a club that is a safe space for other bullied kids, but it is a very look-at-me-saving-people thing to do. It's not treating someone as your friend, it's making a charity project out of their hardship. I get the thought process, but please don't.

I don't really have a conclusion or anything, so I'm going to leave it at this. If you have thoughts you want to share or a conversation you want to start, feel free to. Keep it respectful, but other than that go wild.

#23.5 degrees #23.5 the series #precious talks #precious talks 23.5 degrees

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necromancy-enthusiast · 10 months ago

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Golly gee I hate that post with that RAADS-R test score poll going around, like yeah they do say in the discussion section right before the test that it's flawed and a lot of the wording is straight up insulting, but with this sort of thing a lot of people skip the nitty gritty details at the beginning and go straight to the test like how a lot of people don't read the terms and conditions before hitting the 'agree' button, so I'm betting a lot of people missed that.

They even have a big 'TAKE THE TEST HERE' button that takes you right to the test and skips all the details at the beginning, so they're basically encouraging you to skip it, although I imagine that wasn't their intention. I admittedly did at first, I only went back to read it after I finished the test, so this isn't me pointing the finger at anyone who also did that.

The wording on so many of the questions is incredibly unclear. There's no option to say how true an answer is to who you are or were in the past, just 'I've always been like this', 'I've never been like this' 'I was like this before age 16' and 'I'm like this now but wasn't as a child'. The nuance! Amazing!!!

The first statement is literally 'I am a sympathetic person' which is... What does that have to do with being autistic? (jk I know what people think it has to do with being autistic, they conflate sympathy with empathy and assume all autistic people have low empathy).

Moreover there are flaws that are only very lightly touched upon in the discussion section, like how the test seems to assume low empathy= autism. I'm not throwing low empathy people under the bus, I'm just stating that some autistic people have high empathy. I don't mean that as 'oh yeah you know some of us just happen to be high empathy but it's not correlated', having high empathy can also be directly linked to autism (I REALLY don't like how the first paragraph in that article also conflates empathy with compassion and sympathy, but it's otherwise the best description of hyper empathy in autism that I've found), so it's not that autism= low empathy but that autism is likely to affect a person's relation to empathy in a way that's not typical to, well, neurotypicals.

This assumption that all autistic people are low empathy keeps a lot of people from being diagnosed or even really considering that they might be autistic. I am one of those high empathy people and yet because of it I've been basically told it makes me less autistic before. I got a pretty low score for an autistic individual at 75, and 65 is, according to the test, 'the minimum score at which autism is considered' *cough* although some people diagnosed with autism got scores as low as 44 *cough*. 39 out of the 80 questions on the test are about 'social relatedness' so you know, empathy, or at the least aspects that are closely linked with empathy.

And there's another test on the website about masking called the CAT-Q that's used partially to explain why autistic people may get 'low scores' such as myself (at 133 I had a score higher than even by the average for autistic women, who scored highest overall at 124) but it's not linked in the post. It's linked at the bottom of the web page. A lot of people will also probably miss that, and it helps even out some of the biases in the RAADS-R test, but honestly it feels more like putting a bandage over a gaping wound that needs stitches instead of fixing all the problems with the RAADS-R test. No test is perfect but I think this one is kinda shit and needs to be majorly revised if not totally abandoned.

I don't blame anyone for taking the test and reblogging the post uncritically, this isn't me trying to make anyone feel bad or stupid, I just want to say that the test itself is deeply flawed even if it tends to be very accurate in scoring whether or not someone is autistic. Please keep all that in mind if you do take that test or share the post.

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buggysmalls69 · 11 months ago

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Well I'd best explain myself.

Hey. It's milk ✌️

If you know me from being moots elsewhere.. Hi! This is my special interest blog. A real rebloggy blog. For reblogging. And talking about my interests if I feel like it!

Current interests:

In no particular order

- Figures ✨

I collect figures. I have like well over 300 at this point. I don't keep track anymore and this one is slowly but surely subsiding. I will always adore figures and collecting them though. My figures make my room a safe place for my senses. They're all so pretty 💖

- Pokémon 🌈

Oh my god an autistic person who likes Pokémon it's a miracle. Yeah. I started playing Pokémon when I was 3, so 18 years going strong. I originally preferred the toys and cards, but heart gold and soul silver converted me and then I became a mega fan. Tracking releases, learning lore, creating fanart. Mind you I was like 7. There's a deviantart account out there from when I was 6? and yeah that shit Sure Is (you can try and find it I don't really care anymore jfjsjfjg). Anyway!!! Faves are cleffa, whimsicott, blaziken, galvantula, giratina, mimikyu and Registeel. Faves by proxy include lapras, torkoal, lilligant, gengar, rayquaza, mudkip and ledyba. Fave humans are Iono, Caitlyn, Lillie (LillieMoon 💖💖💖), Ingo and Emmet, Allister, N, Erika and Elesa. Gen 5 is currently my favourite but I have played gen 5 a LOT the past few years and a lot of my faves are gen 5. I attended both the Pokémon center pop up in London in 2018, and EUIC 2024 in London, also for the Pokémon center lmao. I have a cleffa tattoo also!!! Planning on getting a large majority of my faves tattooed at some point.

- Bugs 🐛

Woo big surprise it/they user enjoys bugs. My favourites are moths, exact favourites being hummingbird hawk moths and Madagascan sunset moths. Also a huge fan of weevils, worms, snails, beetles, bees and butterflies! I hope to have a butterfly collection one day in frames :3

Hatsune Miku.

- One piece ☠️

Pretty new one but yeah, I'm caught up so I spend a LOT of time thinking about them damn pirates. Faves in no order are Zoro, Luffy, Usopp, Sanji, Robin, Perona, Mihawk, Law, Corazon, Ace, Yamato, Katakuri, Crocodile, Buggy, Doflamingo, Lucci, Okiku, and Big Mom.

- No but for reals Miku 🎧

Fun fact! I've been a Miku fan since 2010. That's 14 years baby!! My first vocaloid songs that I remember hearing are nyan cat (duh), world is mine, Romeo and Cinderella, butterfly on your right shoulder, gugurekasu, and my all time fave, corruption garden. Absolutely underrated banger. This should be a general vocaloid section really because my favourite cryptonloids are Kaito, Luka and Miku and then my favourite non cryptonloids are Meika Mikoto, Lily, Nekomura Iroha, PoUta, Teto and Luo Tianyi! My favourite producers are PinocchioP, Neru, Giga, Kira, Iroha(sasuki) and OwataP!

I went to Miku expo in London 2018, 2020 and I am going in 2024!!! A selection from my personal wishlist for London 2024 setlist :

Paradichlorobenzene - OwataP 💛

Kokoro - Toraboruta 🧡

Kunoichi Demo Koi ga Shitai - MikitoP 🩵🧡

Digital Girl - Kira 🩵

Break it, Break it! - E.L.V.N ❤️

Non Breath Oblige - PinnochioP 🩵

Erase or Zero - crystalP 💛💙

-Minecraft 🌲

Yeah yeah you can laugh all you want. I've been consuming Minecraft since it came out, and I've played it for 10 whole years. I got pc edition 5 years ago now (INSANE). I love Minecraft. I tend to play just random mods shoved in a folder, but I do play with friends sometimes!!! If anyone ever wants to play please tell me I will kiss you.

NON SPECIAL INTERESTS BUT VERY IMPORTANT TO MY IDENTITY

-Dinosaurs (since I was like 4)

-Sanrio (as long as I can remember)

-Animals

-Anime in general

-Art (lotta A's huh)

-Shitty adult cartoons (south park, family guy, American dad, I have encyclopedic knowledge of all 3 and I can recall every episode. I also know family guy season 4 word for word :3)

-Sitcoms (Actually enjoy: Two and a half men, modern family, young Sheldon kinda, does house count? It should. Encyclopedic knowledge: Big Bang Theory, Two and a half men, Frasier, Friends)

THE "SOMETIMES" SPECIAL INTEREST

- Five Nights at Freddys 🐻

I know, I'm so cool. This game has had its dirty grip on me since it came out. Basically I hate it but every time a new game comes out I can't help but go on a self destructive info absorb and I watch like 6 hour video essays on the new lore and implications. It's fun I like fnaf silly Creachure. My fave is the puppet because I'm non binary haha.

-UNDERTALE ❤️

I pretty much tick all the boxes for middle school anxiety huh. Yeah undertale is a beautiful masterpiece and every few years I'll have a mega "aaaaa undertale" phase where I'll just do nothing but play and consume undertale content. I've played the game through at least like 10 times? A few of each ending. I'm still really bad at sans fight.

-Animal Crossing 🐾

I think everyone should have this one. Occasionally I'll just be like "hm being an adult in the real world isn't really what I wanted right now" so I play animal crossing until oops 6 hours passed. I'll then play for about a week before putting it down again. I tend to stick with new horizons, just because it has the best gameplay. Also BUGS heheshhfksjgh. Fave villagers are Lily, Eugene, Beardo, Judy, Merengue, Lolly, Merry and Marina. I also love Flick and Celeste.

Kinning!!

Yeahhh I kin some bitches. Big deal.

- Yamada Ryo

The big one. She's just me for real for real. I love her for realsies. Also um hi bocchi kinnies.

- Rina Tennoji

She's so fucking autistic. I also struggle with expression (fluctuates between under and over!).

- Kokoro Tsurumaki

Genki. I have made it my personal goal to make people happy in recent years and it's really helped my own mental health

- Madoka Kaname

😳🩷🖤

- Kirby

Small, Round, Pink, Poyo

- Flandre Scarlet

Tiny Creachure clinging to childhood (with a dash of trauma).

- Kanna Kamui

I just, deep down. I experience friendship the exact way Kanna does. I have no concept of boundaries. I will crawl into your bed at night.

- Stocking

Sweets, hypersexual, kinky, goth, chubby. Me.

- Yamato

Oblivious, love friend so much, bad family relationships.

- Kuromi

*cough cough* *straightens paper* Although Kuromi may look and act tough and punk, she is actually very girly and is attracted to good-looking guys. That is all.

And yeah I think that's pretty much it. Obviously this post will get updated as regularly as it needs it. Hope u enjoy my silly content!!!

#figures #bugs #pokemon #hatsune miku #one piece #Minecraft #Dinosaurs #Sanrio #Milkytalk #updated 8/7/24

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soleadita · 2 years ago

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5, 6, 8 for ao3 wrapped! <3

8. pairing you read the most for?

hmm probably a tie between sterek and buddie

5. did anything you read make you cry?

yes!! uhhh i cry allll the time when i'm reading but, just off the top of my head, these wrecked me:

@kitkatpancakestack's even gods die

the autistic!eddie series by nonalovesyou that i will literally never shut up about (when i tell you i read the entire thing in one night and cried through most of it. i am not exaggerating.)(if anyone sees this and has read this series. please tell me. i'd love to scream about it together.)

@hattalove's weddings fic (happy tears. this-is-the-cutest-shit-ever tears. but also like. in-my-feels-about-being-arospec tears and god-i-wish-i-felt-what-they-feel tears. but also queer-love-is-so-beautiful tears.)

also, i re-read @wearethecyclones's pcts series at least twice a year and it never fails to make me sob hysterically at, like, 3 am. truly a great time.

(i know there are more but the issue is: i simply cannot remember.)

6. absolute favorite works you read this year?

omg omg omg. ok. this was so challenging. but i think:

the autistic!eddie series, as mentioned above. (you know when you read something, and you're like, "holy shit. this is me, on the page. those are my thoughts. those are my feelings. and this work of art just explained things about me to myself." that was me with this fic. i literally have an annotated version of it saved on my laptop.)

@emmagrant01's something like this (this fic has accidentally replaced parts of check please canon in my brain. also my first thought when i finished was, "can't wait to find some fanfic of this," before remembering that, uh, this was the fanfic.)

@hattalove's let’s hear it for the boy (i feel like i've already gushed over this one to a nearly embarrassing degree so i will simply say: it broke me into pieces and put me back together)

@alocalband's not quite lost (not quite found) (maybe cheating since i didn't read it for the first time this year? but it's one of my top fav comfort fics, and i did indeed read it many times in 2022. it's so GOOD, but on top of that it just feels gentle and cozy and healing. it's like. worn-in flannels and hot tea and soft knit blankets, but in words.)

(again. i know there are more but these are the first 4 that came to mind and i refuse to let myself keep going because i already feel bad about how long this is. i also feel bad bc i know i read SO MANY amazing shorter one-shots this year, but unfortunately shorter fics tend to fall right out of my brain.)

ao3 wrapped (reader edition)(ask me about my fanfic consumption!)

#WINTER!!! tysm for asking and for giving me a reason to ramble on about fanfic <333 #sorry it turned into an essay #i meant to get it done faster but i got a mental block about it when i realized i was gonna end up tagging actual real people #(and if i tagged you and you see this and you don't want to be tagged just lmk!! i will untag <3)#ao3 wrapped (reader edition)#scattered-winter #fanfic #fic recs #leo's asks

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derpu-doodles · 1 year ago

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wow, it was interesting to hear your thoughts! and what are your headcanons about this character, if it’s not a secret? he looks mysterious

MANY THANKSSS <333 I'm Very glad he comes off as mysterious because that's almost exactly what he's going for himself LMAOAO, he's very closed off for reasons I will Explain in a bit

I will put the HCs under the cut because I have a feeling this will be Longe—

ANYWAY STARTING OFF WITH THE FIRST HEADCANON I EVER HAD FOR THIS MAN!!! as I said in your other ask, I HC him as the Ultimate Sharpshooter purely because he was able to land a shot. on I z u r u K a m u k u r a of all people. while dying. me and Milk made that HC because of a Kamukura compilation though, so later when I actually went and rewatched the massacre. I noticed that Asukasei was really fuckin shit at aiming with the automatic gun (I think. I don't know guns very well but he held down the trigger and it went RATATATATA so). SO MY EXCUSE IS THAT HE JUST DIDN'T WANNA KILL THEM LMAOAOAOA

SECOND OFF!!! I. this one came somewhat later than the next headcanon but I wanna mention it first SO AJDNSNS in writing this man, over time, I gradually noticed specific mannerisms and whatnot that I'd subconsciously given him and. that they line up with some friends who have The Tism™. so I was just debating for like a whole month if I should Actually write him with it or not because "on one hand. it matches how I've already been writing him, and it matches my friends who have it. but on the other. I've never written an autistic character before what if I fuck it up horribly and piss everyone off." long story short I ended up going Fuck It We Ball because how will I get practice if I never do it—

THIRD HC!! as I said I came up with this one before the second one—basically. he. he is Gay I SWEAR THIS ONE WAS COMPLETELY ACCIDENTAL TOO ANDHABDB MILK AND I WERE WRITING HIM WARMING UP AND OPENING UP TO THIS OTHER GUY AND AT FIRST WE WERE LIKE "yay besties!!!" BUT THE LONGER IT WENT ON THE LONGER WE WERE PLAGUED WITH "but what if they were More than besties." AND WE JUST NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT IT TO EACH OTHER FOR WEEKS LMAOAOOOO it was so fucking funny just going up to her like "dawg help. I am being. Plagued with Thoughts. namely What If They Fell In Love." AND SHE WAS LIKE "mE TOO—" AND SO THAT'S!! JUST OUR HC NOW!!! it's so fuckin funny because. y'know he's an ass at first right. so obviously he needs to be The Homophobic Homosexual™. like "oh hm those men are kissing that feels uncomfortable." except he's also "oh hm I would like to kiss a man. wait hold on I cannot kiss men that is not. I. am. supposed to like women."

FOURTH ONE!!! this one mentions child abuse so proceed with caution (or skip to the end if it makes you uncomfy!!). nothing is described in detail

basically. the reason he's so closed off is because as a kid, he was constantly taught by his dad that emotions need to be buried, and that crying was pathetic (it is not please let yourself cry if you need to HUGSS). basically he was raised with toxic masculinity. he also holds himself to stressfully high standards, also because of his dad. so it's just so lovely writing him gradually opening up to the council and going "huh. this is nice, actually,,," it just mMMRHHTHGGJJDFJGJ!!! GO KING LET YOURSELF FEEL!!! GO KING RELAX!!! GET ALL THE HUGS YOU COULD POSSIBLY WANT!!! GET YOURSELF A BF TO CUDDLE AND SMOOCH!!!!! I also tend to write Asukasei's mom as an enabler. she isn't doing it on purpose by any means, but she just,,, doesn't stand up to his dad. she's too afraid to, reasonably so, and she does try to comfort Asukasei as much as she can but in the end she's not sure how to stop the abuse (IalsoliketomakeitsoafterAsukaseigraduatesshedivorceshisdadandgoesontofindherselfamuchbetterhusbandandtheyloveeachotherverymuchANYWAY)

I think those are The Big Four HCs™ I have for him so wHeEeEe thank you so much for the ask and letting me pop off LAJDJAJA <333333 Asukasei is my baby sonboy and I love him Very much

edit OH YEAH I FORGOR. he's Somewhat Ambidextrous, he can't do like. Everything. with both hands, but he still does use both (namely with shooting)

#askie asks #Asukasei Hino

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bohemian-rhapsody-in-blue · 6 months ago

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I’ll start with the disclaimer that I don’t have an autism diagnosis and am not 100% sure I’m autistic (I’m also not 100% sure I’m not…). But here are some tactics and techniques I’ve used over the years that seem to have been successful. I hope I’ve explained them clearly enough to be understood; please let me know if you have any questions, or if I’ve got any mistakes/oversights! I also almost never reblog stuff with my own additions outside the tags, but this ended up waaaaaaay too long for the replies; as such, I’m putting it under the cut.

My number-one tip is that it’s almost always a good idea to ask people questions, especially about themselves! Questions provide a natural way for the conversation to continue—sometimes if you finish what you’re saying with just a statement, the other person won’t know what to say next, and there will be an awkward silence. Also, people tend to like talking about themselves and what they like, so this will often fill up a lot of time in the conversation where you don’t have to input much. Plus, your conversational partner will come away with a good impression of you because you showed so much interest in them and what they have to say! And don’t forget that on your side, you can get some genuinely interesting information from these questions. They might tell you about places you’ve never visited, media you’ve never seen/read/played, family structures you’ve never seen, or ideas you’ve never considered!

Usually, I pull from a list of “acceptable” questions that have proven pretty successful in the past, especially for people you’re meeting for the first time (or have only spoken to a few times) and with whom you want to be better friends. I’m a college student, so some of these may seem pretty college-student-centric; I’ve tried to adapt some to other environments.

What’s your major/what are you studying? (Again…college-student-centric. Sorry.)

For people in the workforce, “where do you work?/what do you do?” is a good question (although not so good if you already know because they work in the same place you do).

For the “what’s your major” question, if they’re a student at your school and they have the same major as you, you can establish a similarity—“Oh, I’m a ___ major, too!”—and then ask what their favorite class in that department was or if there are any classes they’d especially recommend (especially if they’re in a higher grade/year than you). Asking about favorite things or things they find interesting is always a good idea! They’ll often talk or even gush for a while. And you might get a cool new thing to check out from it!

Where are you from?/Where’s home for you? (The latter is how people at my college likes to phrase it.)

At my college, where a lot of people are not from the area and there are many international students, you can sometimes say “Wow; so you’ve traveled far to be here!” or “Wow, not very far from [place you are now]!” This may or may not work for you, depending on the environment you’re in. If they say the same place you’re in now (ex. if you’re in Chicago and they say they’re from Chicago), you can say, “Wow, born and raised here!” If you’re wrong, they’ll probably correct you with some personal history, which is good because it’s lots of input from them where you don’t have to do much work, and it usually opens up some good avenues for follow-up questions.

If you’ve been to the place they say or are from there yourself, you can tell them that, and then say “Have you ever been to [place you’re familiar with]?” (ex. “Oh, yes, I’ve visited Chicago! I got to see a game at Wrigley Field. Have you ever been there?”

If you’ve never been there, you can say, “Ooooh, I’ve never been there, but I want to someday! It sounds cool!” (Even if you’ve never felt or expressed a desire to go there in your life, this makes the other person feel good.) Then you can ask what their favorite part about it is, or any interesting places there that they’d recommend.

Pro tip—generally, at least in my experience in the USA, people will name the closest big city or state to where they’re actually from. If they say they’re from Boston, for example, they may not actually be from the city of Boston, but a suburb just outside of Boston—but since that suburb will be less familiar to people who aren’t from there, they’ll just say Boston to establish general geographical familiarity. Or, if they’re from a non-US country that’s not very familiar to people in the US, they might just say the country instead of the specific city/province/state/etc. (ex. they might say they’re from China instead of from Guangzhou, or Guandong province.).

(If you’re both graduated and in the workforce) Where did you go to school?

Follow-ups: “Oh, that sounds cool, where is that?” or: “What did you study there?”

And if you have familiarity or a personal connection, that’s always good to mention—e.g. “Oh, my brother studied there!” or “I majored in English, too!”

(If you’re both at the same job or school) How is [thing you’re both going through] coming along? (Ex. “How are final exams treating you?”)

Follow-up questions can ask for more detail: “Do you have a lot of exams, or mostly projects?”

Keep these generally generic and focused on how they’re feeling rather than what they’re doing (“Oooh, five exams? That sounds stressful! Good luck, I believe in you!”), unless they choose to go into detail about what they’re doing. Otherwise, it can seem like you’re their teacher or boss interrogating them on their progress, which can make them feel nervous and defensive.

If they express negative emotions towards the thing—ex. saying finals are hard, stressful, or tiring—commiserate. Express that you feel the same way, or that it’s true that the thing is, in fact, hard, stressful, or tiring. If you don’t commiserate (ex. “Oh, you found that class hard? It was easy for me”), they may feel like you’re bragging, or emphasizing how you feel good/are okay with something and they don’t/aren’t, which won’t make them feel good. However, this is mitigated if you offer them help—“I took that class last year and still have my notes; do you want to borrow them?” Or “I did pretty well on that class—want me to help you study for the final?”

Often, basing a conversation topic something you can outwardly see helps, especially if it’s unusual. Ex. “I like your necklace/shirt/tie/etc.! It’s so pretty/cool/cute/nice.” And, to end with a question, “Where did you get it?”

Sometimes, if you’re lucky, they’ll launch into a long story about where and how they got it. This can provide lots of avenues for more questions to further the conversation.

If they got it at an interesting place or during a trip, use similar rules to the question about where they’re from—express your familiarity with it and ask them more about specific places there, like the store where they bought the jewelry.

If they got it from a local store/vendor or online shop, ask for the name and what else they sell. End with “Oh, that sounds interesting, I might check them out” (even if you have no desire to check them out). This makes the other person feel like their tastes are validated, and feel good because they’ve shared a recommendation of something they like.

If a friend or family member bought it for them, affirm that that person sounds very nice/kind. If you want, you can then ask follow-up questions about them (ex. “How long have you known them?” or “Where did you meet?” for a friend; “Are they your older or younger sibling?” for a sibling, followed by “That’s cool; how many siblings do you have?”).

If they got it to commemorate an occasion, especially if it was recent. it’s a good idea to wish them well for that occasion (ex. “Oh, happy birthday!”) or congratulate them (especially for a wedding, anniversary, graduation, or accomplishment). Sometimes you can work off of this even if the occasion wasn’t recent: if they got the thing for their birthday, you can say, “Oh, when’s your birthday?”

Speaking of birthdays: I recommend that you don’t ask people how old they’re turning, or do so with extreme caution. People tend not to like talking about their age because it reminds them how old they’re getting, which they see as a bad thing, or they want to be perceived as young in the first place and asking about their age shatters that illusion. However, asking for the month/day of their birthday is generally harmless. (If it’s within the next two months or so, you can say, “Oh, coming up soon!”)

Anyway, regarding outwardly-visible things that can be conversation starters—this is even easier if the thing is related to a fandom, media property, or even just outwardly declaring an interest (ex. a sticker with a funny pun about biology). Compliment the thing and ask about their relationship to it. For instance, you might ask, “That’s a cool Star Trek shirt! Are you a fan?” or “I like your sticker! Are you a bio student?” That way, they’ll feel good because they’ve received a compliment, and they’ll probably want to talk more about Star Trek or biology or whatever they outwardly showed that they liked.

If you’re also familiar with the thing, you can say something like “I like that too! My favorite [character/episode/fun fact/thing about it] is ____. What’s yours?” If the thing is a special interest or hyperfixation of yours, that’s even better, since both of you can connect over your shared love of it! (I made a lot of my first few friends at college by basically yelling about Avatar: The Last Airbender right along with them…)

If you’re not familiar with the thing, you can say, “I haven’t heard of it, but it sounds interesting! What’s it about?/Can you tell me more about it?/How did you get into it?” Often, people will talk a lot from just those prompts.

Do you have any pets?

Generally a fun one! If they do have pets, they usually love to talk about them and show you pictures, and you get to see cute animals that they obviously adore! Good follow-up questions include: “What’s their name?” “How old are they?” “Are they a boy or a girl?” “What breed are they?” “How long ago did you get them?” And, of course, it’s good to affirm how cute/good their pet is.

If they DON’T have a pet, sometimes they’ll like to talk about pets they used to have (in which case the above questions are also a good idea, although if the pet has passed away, it’s a good idea to temper your voice to sound less enthusiastic and more sympathetic). They might also talk about pets they’d like to have in the future (ex. “My apartment building doesn’t allow pets, but I’d love to have a cat someday”); in that case, since there’s no specific animal to ask about. you can go more general on the subject of animals (“Are you an animal lover?” or “Have you had cats in the past?”). You can also ask them if they’ve had pets before, and if they have, you can circle back to the above questions.

Sometimes, you’ll get someone who neither has nor wants pets, but this kind of person isn’t that common. In this case, drop the subject quickly and quietly, and ask another question.

And here are some general tips:

If, at any point, someone asks YOU a question, answer briefly (2-3 sentences) and then turn it back on them. (“What’s YOUR favorite class?” or “How about you? Do YOU have any pets?”) Sometimes, if you talk too much or for too long about yourself without letting the other person have a turn talking about THEMself, they’ll think you’re self-centered.

In general, it’s a good idea to reflect what the person has said back to them. Not a direct, word-for-word repetition because then they might think you sound like a robot and be put off by that (although sometimes you can repeat the last few words of something with an upward inflection to make it sound like a question, inviting them to elaborate on the subject—ex. Them: “I got this bracelet at Jim’s Curiosity Shop!” You: “Jim’s Curiosity Shop?” Them: “Yeah, It’s downtown and it’s got all sorts of cool jewelry and knickknacks…”). But you can just summarize what they said in different words, affirming that it is, in fact, true—“Awww, your dog sounds like such a good boy!”—or showing them that they’ve successfully introduced you to some new knowledge—“Wow, Jim’s Curiosity Shop sounds really cool, I’ll have to check it out!”

This is even applicable to people you’re closer to, if they’re explaining something complex or venting to you. You can say, “So if I’m understanding right…” and then tell them the summary of what they said in different words. (Ex. “So if I’m understanding right, you feel bad that you can’t spend more time with Mark, but at the same time you’re upset with him that he doesn’t seem to understand your busy schedule.” Often, you won’t have to make a ton of emotional inferences here—they may have outright TOLD you that they feel bad, upset, guilty, scared, confused, etc.) If your explanation is right or resonates with what they feel like they’ve been expressing, they’ll feel validated and good. If it’s not what they meant, this opens them up to correct you and help you understand; they probably won’t hold it against you because you’ve shown, from your question, that you really are trying to understand.

To end the conversation, you can say, “Well, it was nice meeting you!” (if you are, in fact, meeting them for the first time) or “I’ve gotta run/I need to work now, but it was nice seeing you!” or “I’ll see you later!” (or on a specific date if you know—ex. “See you next Thursday!” If you’re in a class or weekly meeting that meets on Thursdays). My personal favorite is “Well, I won’t keep you”—implying that you’re taking up their time and not the other way around; it kind of defers to them.

And don’t forget—if you try to start a conversation and it somehow doesn’t work, it’s not necessarily on you! Maybe the other person was just having a bad day and didn’t want to talk, or maybe the question you asked just happened to not resonate with them (ex. asking about pets to someone who neither has nor wants pets). Don’t take it personally, and don’t give up! This just sorta happens sometimes, even with neurotypicals. Soon you’ll find someone with whom you click, and they may turn into a great friend! I believe in you ♥️

This is an incomplete list, but I really hope it helped—and again, please feel free to come to me with any questions or inaccuracies I may have had!

AUTISTIC PEOPLE WHO ARE CAPABLE OF SOCIALIZING!

How the fuck do you do it? share your wisdom! let others who wish to learn learn of your truths!

In return I shall grant each who gives wisdom a GIF of their favorite piece of media.

REVEAL YOUR SECRETS!

(Please, I really wanna get better at making friends and shit)

#autism #neurodivergent #socializing #social cues #textpost #maya’s musings

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celestialcluttered · 2 years ago

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Hello hello!!!

This is Jynx/Astrophen, and I am the host of the celestial clutter!!

We are a traumagenic monoconcious system, that rarely ever has it’s main fronter, or host, me (jynx/astrophen), leave front! Its as is… we become a mix of the co-fronters? idk, but anyways!!

We collectively use they/them, although please try to use specific headmates preferred pronouns when you know what they are. we tend to use they/them as more of a default, idkwhoyouareprwhatyougobybutistillwantto respectyouridentity (translation if you cant read it: idk who you are or what you go by, but i still want to respect your identity) label.

We are bodily 13, although funnily enough none of us are 13 ajskskalaoal. Dont be creepy and sexual/romantic with us unless we know you and you’re sure that we wont care. Max of 2 years age difference and we have to have been talking for at least a month or two, minimum.

We have a currently unknown but estimated to be around like.. maybe 23 known alters? maybe 22 is more likely idk, but anywayssss, I am the host, and the one that you will be seeing the most of!!

We use i/me and us/we interchangeably very often, usually depending on context and stuff, but can be random as to why we used a certain word.

Dont say anything insensitive. if you think you shouldnt say it, please dont. I have undergone a shit ton of therapy to regain stability of my mental and emotional wellbeing, and i frankly will not hesitate to ruin your mood or fight back when I feel attacked. (Partially written by salem/scara) pls dont be intimidated by us for this, we just wanna be stern so that people leave us alone and dont gang up on us lolololll. we’re nice i promise /silly /gen

Use tonetags. please. also dont be a jerk if i (specifically jynx) tend to use too many. dont hit me with that “you’re infantilizing autistic people, i knew what you mean” type stuff, because i have my reasons for using them often. I get paranoid abt people misreading what im saying, so i feel the need to over explain and stuff, which BY THE WAY, is (atleast i think so, its likely, but im not 100% sure. dont take my word for it) an autistic trait.

Uhhhh we are all collectively polyamorous or ambiamorous (its one or the other, theres a chance we’re all ambiam or all polyam, idk and theres a chance its not actually all of us).

We are so so so so so silly (obviously 🙀)

We are VERY fictive heavy

Oh and heres a list of every known alter and their sign off (we usually use our name and an emoji, or just our name but emoji silly and fun so why not)

Jynx/Astrophen -🎸

Salem/Scara -💜

Kari/Collei -💚

Orchid/Alluka -🌷

Melody- 🌊

Noel-🎵

Jack- 🧡

Dottore -🧪

Mischa- ❤️

Flame -🔥

Breeze/Breezepelt- ☁️/🐈‍⬛

Aspen- 🦌

Angie -☀️

Asmo- 💞

Chrollo- 🕷

Fable- 👾

Lucifer- 🖤

Mae/Madoka - 🪷

Varina- 🌸

Whizzer- 💧

Xavier/Kurapika- 🐳

and uhhhh, yeah!! let us know if we missed any important info and we’ll add it!!

-🎸

#plural community #plural #plurality #plural system #dissociative identity disorder #multiplicity #other specified dissociative disorder #plural positivity #system #important to blog

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jamiewintons · 2 years ago

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Why I Think Jamie Winton is Autistic

An anon sent me an ask asking why I think Jamie is autistic, so here is my explanation. I'm autistic myself, but every single autistic person is different, so I can't speak for everyone. Please forgive me if I didn't explain things clearly. If anyone has any thoughts they'd like to share, or examples to add, please let me know! (Explanation about why I think Thomas has ADHD is coming soon!)

Reliance on daily routines - Pretty much the first thing we learn about Jamie is that he loves his routine. All of his work outfits are on coat hangers labelled with each day. He has the exact same breakfast every single morning. He doesn’t like stepping out of his comfort zone whatsoever.

There's also the part where he temporarily gives up on finding Layla, and he keeps going to work despite the end of the world;

Paula: Jamie, why are you bothering?

Jamie: Because I'm a bank manager. I mean, what else of me is left? At least here, I know where I am.

I know that this is because he’s depressed and protecting himself from more pain, but as an autistic person myself, I tend to bury myself in my routine even more than usual when I’m depressed.

Finding it hard to understand what others are thinking or feeling - We know that Jamie is definitely a kind, caring person, but sometimes he doesn’t recognise that he’s not the only one feeling things. For example, he doesn’t realise that Paula would be upset about him not calling her for a week until Dave brings it up.

Dave: Listen, I know Layla did a number on you, and I’m sorry, I really am. But it’s time to start thinking about other people now. Like Mary, like Paula.

Jamie: Paula? What’s Mum got to do with this?

Dave: Paula rescued you from the car park! Paula raised you! I mean, have you called her this week? No. I know you haven’t, because I did, and she’s gutted. Look, you’re upset, of course you are, but we’re all upset, mate. Everyone’s scared.

Also, the scene where Dave says he wants to car surf and Jamie is quite blunt with him:

Dave: This is not just about you. You’re not the only person who’s got stuff he wants to do before he dies.

Jamie: Right. Yeah. Okay. But my stuff actually means something, doesn’t it?

After both of these conversations, once Dave has explained things to him, Jamie clearly feels guilty about the fact that he’s disregarded other people’s emotions. He’s not a jerk, but sometimes he just gets so caught up in his own head that he doesn’t think.

Having increased empathy or immense care for people - On the other hand, Jamie can also be incredibly empathetic. I think that the best example of this is when he goes back to working at the bank, and he lets homeless people come and sit inside where it's warm, and clears a lady's mortgage so she doesn't have to worry about getting kicked out of her house.

Difficulty regulating emotions - Jamie definitely has a lot of emotional meltdowns over the series; for example, when he’s banging on the glass yelling at the cops, and the “I’m not having a meltdown!” scene. Also, Layla mentions him getting “high-pitched and shouty”, so these kinds of things still happened before she disappeared and Jamie got depressed.

Difficulty with relationships - He'd never had a girlfriend before Layla, and he was an adult when they got together. Not necessarily an autistic thing, but I think I can count it.

Extreme interest in one particular topic - This one is just a headcanon, but since Paula mentions that Jamie was obsessed with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles when he was a kid, I like to imagine that was one of his special interests. He's also intensely single-minded when it comes to finding Layla to the point that nothing else seems to matter to him.

#autistic headcanon #autistic headcanons #autism headcanon #autism headcanons #jamie winton #ymata #you me and the apocalypse #mat baynton #mathew baynton #six idiots

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an-android-child · 10 months ago

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Hello! I am procrastinating and autistic, so I'm gonna refute the rebuttal, if you don't mind. Please, don't take anything personal. I do not know you and I'm not judging you as a person. With that out of the way, let's begin:

"However, 2 is where most of the discourse seems to be happening. Your argument is that Jason doesn't have the right to ask that that of Bruce. I do actually disagree on that point, both more generally because I think children are allowed to ask things of their parents that a peer shouldn't ask of another peer, and more specifically I think a close reading of Jason's original '80s Robin run shows a Bruce that would've been more willing to grant his request." Parents are still human beings who deserve to have boundaries respected. Just because someone is a parent doesn't mean the child deserves to take away their one boundary to force them to do something against their will. We're not talking about Jason wanting a hug and Bruce having touch aversion, we're talking about Jason telling him to kill a man or watch him kill a man. Also, about that other point, I have no words to explain how much him granting that request would have ended him as a person. In every universe he gives in and kills the Joker he's unable to rationalize himself from stopping, because once he has already crossed the line, he can cross it again, and again, and now everyone is safe and no one will die and who cares if he's alone or if he's an enemy to the Justice League, or who cares if he'll kill without thinking if the person deserves a second chance. Once committed the crime there's no going back. Everytime he starts killing, he stops trying to rehabilitate the crooks. He becomes disillusioned, he decides this is the way Jason would have wanted this. So, no, I do not believe 80's "even rapists deserve to face a fair trial, and if that doesn't work it's a societal problem we have to fix instead of just simply killing off the guy" Batman would have given in. He would have wanted to, he may have even almost given in because he tended to be quite emotional and impulsive, like it happened in canon, but I'm completely sure that if he actually did it, it would have killed him. Jason would have come back to a ghost or to a grave.

"2 (If Bruce won't kill the Joker, then Jason will.) is hardly more kind, but I do think it is an important element people don't actually address when they talk about this moment. Jason isn't necessarily asking Bruce to kill; he's asking for him to bear witness. It's a halfway point. It's still unacceptable to Bruce, which is allowed. But it is a significantly more complex moment." Bruce has raised that boy so he would be better than him, so he could experience the happiness he never truly could. The only reason he didn't kill the Joker was because Clark convinced him Jason wouldn't have wanted that. He didn't even care about starting WWIII. Hell, child!Jason wouldn't have wanted that: He didn't mind Two-Face as a child (or even as an adult) after he killed his bio dad (maybe that has been retconned actually, comics are weird). Watching people kill has been exactly what created Batman. His disgust for guns and killing has been a core trait of the character for decades, and the fact that Jason would make him watch him, the son he grieved and failed, kill someone he has always wanted dead, would be incredibly traumatizing, to say the least. It's not as complex of a situation, because Bruce would never live with himself knowing he could have prevented Jason from becoming a killer. Because when Dick killed the Joker and started struggling with guilt, the one that made everything in his power to bring the man he hates most in the world back was Bruce. And it was out of love.

"Bruce violently imposes his own boundaries on Jason. They're both pretty awful to each other in this moment. I love it." With a hand over my heart, I think someone is a little bit more awful here, and the other is a little bit more justified. We're using comic context here, right? Jason has almost killed Tim, Bludhaven has blown up and is swimming in radioactive waste with Dick still in it, and Jason is purposefully taunting Bruce about the fact that he won't be able to save another son again, because he's forcing him to stay right there, with him and the kidnapped Joker. He's the one forcing him to stay here and every minute that passes is a minute Dick can die, which I would say it's a bit more unethical. Also, I'm pretty sure Bruce was trying to get away as fast as possible. I'm not even sure he wasn't expecting Jason to dodge, like he had already done before, but I digress. He needed to find his first son quick, he needed to save him and as many people as he could, but instead he was in a warehouse full of bombs with his dead child telling him to watch him kill or to kill somebody. With a gun. That's like, one of Scarecrow's hallucinations levels of fucked up.

"I think I generally agree, but I disagree that Batman can or should be considered a single person." Batman is a man. I know, I know he tries to create an idea, a symbol. The symbol literally means there will always be second chances, no matter what. But underneath that, Batman will always be Bruce Wayne, will always have seen his parents gunned down in an alley, and will always try to stop bullets from hitting anyone else, no matter what. That's Batman, too.

"Batman is a self-appointed vigilante. He is not beholden to literally anyone. He regularly transgresses upon other people's rights. He is functionally a public figure free of any oversight. People are allowed (and ought to) demand better of him. No one owes Batman the benefit of the doubt or personal consideration because he rarely grants those things to others." One word: GCPD. Another word: Justice League. These two powerful organizations have held him accountable plenty of times. Hell, he has a team full of people who will hold him accountable, as shown numerous times, even in the infamous Gotham War. He's not a figure free of oversight, he's basically a cop, but if a cop actually got the job done and didn't kill (a fantasy indeed, at least at the time this was written). And, if I may agree he doesn't grant the benefit of the doubt to a lot of people, he did grant it to Jason Todd, the man we're talking about, when he may or may-have-not killed Felipe. So, this is definitely not a fair argument in this context.

"Now, whether "demanding better" encompasses "demanding that he kill" is a different question. I think, within the world of the comics, Batman as self-appointed arbiter of justice being permitted to do everything he does, but having his no-killing rule respected because "he's just a man" is sort of not tenable, because Batman isn't a man, he's an idea, and I don't think he can be both." It's in the name. If he's an idea, the idea is redemption, vengeance for the innocent, but he will always be a man first. There are countless stories of Bruce having to come to terms with this simple fact: that he's just a man. And this man wants to do good, and he wants to save as many as he can, and he wants to give second chances, because if he can reform just one person, if he can help just one civilian, then it doesn't matter all the pain that he has to go through. It's not only tenable, it's the only thing that doesn't make him an actual cop, or a tyrannical murderer.

"I think Bruce Wayne not killing because he personally doesn't want to is compelling and interesting; I just don't think it's really ethically justified?*" In a world where the Joker has seen himself rehabilitated countless times (even if he relapses) is it fair to just kill him without lawyer or judge? In a world where Bruce decides if someone will take a life, it will be with an electric chair, after a fair trial, because he won't be judge, jury and executioner, in what world is that not an ethical position? Yes, yes, the Joker always escapes because the Joker needs to sell, but Bruce has given money to the asylum countless of times, has made it as humane and high-tech as his billionaire's money allows him to. And that's the thing, the Joker is always sent to a mental facility because he's incredibly dangerous, but also because he's mentally unwell (how unwell, depends on the writer or reader), and so people can try to get him the help he needs. How is this an unethical position for Batman to take? Hell, Commissioner Gordon only trusts him because he never kills, because he knows he tries to give everyone a fair chance. Batman at his core is compassion, and many writers forget that.

"All that said, I mainly replied because I think you're working from an ethical framework that's highly individualistic. I think that makes sense for discussing Bruce & Jason in UtRH, but I don't think it works for Batman, The Vigilante or for Bruce Wayne, The Public Persona or for Bruce Wayne, The Parent.**" At the end of the day almost all moral is individualistic because all moral concepts come from the minds of individuals, if that's what you meant. But also English is like, my third language, so I might be jumping the gun here. Also, all of those masks make the man that is Bruce Wayne, the man who has watched his son die because he was too late, his other son get beat up almost to death, and is now seeing his first son get blown up in a radioactive explosion while the son who died is taunting him and telling him to traumatize himself even more by letting someone die where he could have prevented it, or letting his son become what he fears most. So.... yeah.

"I'm sort of troubled by the insinuation that billionaires don't owe their communities anything. I mean, I know that's basically libertarianism, and if you're a libertarian then we're just going to have to disagree but: Bruce Wayne, billionaire, is not legally obligated to do any of what you mentioned (and canon is very inconsistent on if he actually does) but the idea that someone with a literally unfathomable level of wealth isn't ethically responsible for giving back to his community is weird to me. Even ignoring real life logic, which states there's no way Bruce could have that wealth in an ethical way, having that kind of money creates, imo, a moral imperative to help people." Bruce Wayne canonically gives to charity a ton of money, tries to create as much change as a billionare as he can, and the only reason Batman exists is because he realized he can't really help the middle man as a philanthropist as much as he could by being there in person. But Bruce, very consistently, gives back to Gotham constantly. I don't understand what is your point here. Bruce The Persona, as you called it, very much is a billionare playboy who only makes public apparances when charities are involved, and who gives and gives without second thought, whose whole company is full to the brim with ex-convicts and street people because he tries to hire as many as he can so they can afford an honest living. Hell, he even pays college tuitions and has pretty good healthcare plans, but that, of course, will depend on what continuity you consider canon. But, even with that, the constant is always the same: He donates, at least, large quantities without second thought.

"Additionally, I'm extra troubled by your saying "he didn't have to agree to cars for several angry, reckless, and bitter kids with death in their hearts" because like. That's a really weird way to frame his adoption of ... most of the kids." I'm pretty sure OP didn't mean it literally, but more like he could have not helped any of his kids and just let the authorities or assorted Wayne-paid subsidiaries deal with them. But, as we know, he's a bleeding heart to the core, so of course he decided to help the only way he knew how to. I don't see your point about it being a weird statement, so I'll assume it's simply a personal opinion phrased as fact.

"I think Bruce wanted to help his kids. I also think he wanted to help himself, (NOTE: while I do see what you mean, he has explicitly said multiple times he wanted his children to turn out better than he did, which is exactly why he took them. It's not as clear-cut as you make it seem) and it's weird to frame his taking in of Jason (post-crisis) as a selfless desire when he admits in Batman #416 that it's at least in part because he misses Dick." I wouldn't say all his motivations are selfish, because he states multiple times post-crisis he wouldn't leave Jason's side if he ever decided to stop being Robin, and that he'd always be there for him. He was more closed-off, less talkative (because we started with the arguments in this universe), but Bruce was very much against taking Jason in at the beginning (the whole Ma Gunn incident) and also him being Robin at first (he spent half a year training).

"It's even a weirder argument to make for Tim, who explicitly offers himself up to a grown man in A Lonely Place of Dying as a replacement goldfish since Bruce can't cope with Jason's loss." I think that's an incredibly oversimplification of what Bruce was going through, and of what Tim was truly offering. Bruce was not in a good place, and Tim decided to help by asking for Dick. Dick set a boundary, and Alfred decided to entrust way too much responsability in a very young person. I don't appreciate the dismissive tone of what is one of the more interesting takes on grief in the DC, at least in my opinion. Bruce is struggling, Bruce is passively suicidal. His enabler, Alfred, basically hires Tim to keep him afloat, something Bruce was so against at first that it took Tim saving his life for him to consider it, and even then he wasn't that ok with it. Hell, Tim didn't even do any field work 'till his Mother's funeral passed. That's a lot of months with nothing but training and comms duty (and it would have been longer if not for Scarecrow and Tim proving himself once again, against Bruce's wishes, but I digress). They formed a relationship with time: from boss and employer, to lifeboat and drowning man, to colleagues, to friends, to father and son, with all the tumultuous things that come with that rollercoaster of a relationship. They have a very complex one, and an incredibly interesting one.

"For Bruce's other canonical kids, Cass is mostly cared for by Barbara, explicitly does not have death in her heart, and is pretty poorly treated by Bruce." Once again, depends on the run. I've read Batgirl 2000, and I can see what you mean, even though I'm one of the few people who's very against the idea of Barbara as a mother figure (no, not all women who are caregivers or who try to help someone young need to be a mother, sometimes things can be messy and still be ok, but that's more of a personal opinion on the idea of maternity as something all women should aspire to or end up in) but for what I've read, I'm not exactly sure what you mean when you say "treated poorly". He has troubles comunicating, yes, but he never did truly go out of his way to treat her bad, even tried to give her the choice of reconnecting with Cain without as much as a second thought, and has had her best interest at heart multiple times, if not a bit overprotective. He was closed off and wasn't good at talking, but they had an understanding of each other thanks to Cass' unique abilities, and they're arguably the most similar of the bunch. I truly don't know what you mean. Maybe you meant when they sparred because he didn't know how to talk to her and knew this was the only way she knew how to talk, and when she told him that was what his abusive father also did he stopped? He's a very decent father to her, I can't think of many instances, at the moment, but I could do more research later.

"I can't speak to Duke because I haven't read his run, and Damian is his biological kid so yeah, he actually did have to be responsible for him." I would say he's pretty good with Duke, and as someone who's seen some friend's families... I can tell you blood can only do so much. If he hadn't wanted, he would have been in his "right", be it as morally questionable as you may think it is, specially because the child was hidden from him for ten whole years (if we go by Morrison canon, then there's an even bigger and valid reason). It would have been a complicated situation, but I think I get what OP truly meant.

"If you're counting Steph, who can go either way since she's not officially adopted, Bruce is super weird and awful to her." I have this whole meta in the drafts that's a three part long text BUT I haven't finished it, so meanwhile I'll link two of my favourite metas: the first and the second.

"Like I'm sort of not sure why you even brought the kids up (NOTE: probably because we're talking about one of them), or brought them up in that way,(NOTE: probably as a way to mention offhandedly one of Bruce's defining character traits: a strong, sometimes misplaced, sense of responsibility) because while Bruce does want to help his kids, his relationship with all of them is constantly motivated by a mixed desire to help, control, project, and mold. His impulses towards most of them are often rather selfish because he had trouble getting out of his own head and he is canonically a sub-par parent at best." I actually agree with this point, but i don't believe he's a sub-par parent... then again, it depends heavily on the writer and continuity. He has done very horrible things in different canons, and it is confusing to keep track, but I do find it more interesting when good intentions simply backfire, than just sheer selfishness... which I guess it could be debated isn't always the main motivator. I would actually say his paranoid nature and need to protect are much bigger setbacks as a parent, more than the sheer need to mold and project. But then again, i'll assume this is an opinion stated as fact, again.

"1. Public figures, especially vigilantes, do not get to set interpersonal boundaries the same way regular people do." A person does not stop being a person just because they're famous or a law enforcer, specially if that boundary is: I won't kill people and I will let criminals be judged by the justice system.

"2. Wealthy people have, in my own ethical formulation, a moral imperative to use their wealth for good." This is a moot point. Bruce Wayne already does that in all main continuities, as far as I'm aware.

"3. Parents absolutely owe their children more than the bare minimum. I do not think that extends to committing murder for them, but I do think Bruce taking in kids when he doesn't have to doesn't prove much about his moral character." The only thing it proves is that he wants to help, and that he cares for them somewhat, be it for better or for worse. And, again, this is a moot point. You say it yourself, the bare minimum does not extend to crossing your one and only boundary.

"4. I think I understand your point about boundaries and I think they're reasonable on an interpersonal level, but fail to take into account hegemonic power structures and social expectations." Talking about crossing boundaries, Jason has already done that a few times, and that is barely discussed in your argument. If I may add, from a moral standpoint, I believe Bruce has an ethical reason not to kill the Joker, just because Jason has stomped on so many lines with him over and over again since he came back (antagonizing, beating and almost killing his loved ones, using a friend's daughter's rape against her, stealing his company, killing people and showing him the bodies, forcing him to choose between killer or spectator, forcing him not to go save his son from dying, and I think I'm missing a few). I think you fail to see that if someone had power over the situation, it was the one with the trigger.

TL;DR: Your whole argument seems to need to depersonalize the man behind the mask, to make him just a symbol so that his one and only boundary, that comes from very deep trauma, can be torned off and used against him. I don't think there's a good resolution for a conflict like this, and that's exactly why I love it. But there are wrong choices. Bruce killing and Bruce doing nothing would be devastating for him. And that deserves to be taken into consideration.

If someone has burned all the bridges, it wasn't Bruce this time.

Jason Todd is my favourite character in all of DC but:

If someone doesn't want to kill, you can't ask, tell, or expect them to kill for you

Or, you can, but you'd be a complete asshole. The only time those expectations are valid is when a person signed up for a job where killing is expected (e.g. the military).

But as we all know, Batman is not the military nor the police. He only has one rule—or only one rule he truly cares about—and that's to not kill.

And frankly, I don't care what his reasons are for that; the bottom line is that he doesn't want to kill and we should respect it. Because at the end of the day, when you take a life, you're the one who's fully responsible for it. You're the one who has to live with it. And because of that, nobody should force you to do it.

Look, like I said, Jason Todd is my favourite character too. But that doesn't mean I don't find it disturbing or unfair when he expects Bruce, and only Bruce, to kill the Joker for him.

Do I find it understandable and human? Of course! Jason died horribly and gruesomely to a madman who'd do the same to anyone else so long as he finds it funny enough. It's only natural for him to want and expect someone—especially his father, the one he loved the most and the one he'd been searching through the thin crack of the door for even as the countdown struck zero—to put an end to the clown permanently, but. Does that mean he should? Absolutely not, and I think it's straight-up awful that so many people in this fandom encourage this take.

And the kicker is, if Catherine was still alive, if Catherine was the sort to become a vigilante and this happened to the both of them, do you think Jason would have the same expectations for her? I bet not. Not because he's sexist, but because Bruce is Batman and we take Batman for granted.

Yeah, you heard me. We take him for granted. We expect too much out of him.

This has been a slow-coming realisation, but it comes after a particularly harrowing conversation with my sister during which she told me that I was taking her for granted and I surprised myself by agreeing with her. I won't go into the nitty gritty details but what I took away from the conversation was that just because someone can do something, and you yourself would do that something for them, that does not mean you should automatically expect them to do the same for you—especially if it goes against their character and what they stand for.

This goes the same for Bruce. Just because he's capable of murder and is justified in doing it, that does not mean that he should do it if he doesn't want to. And just because Jason would do it for him if the reverse happened, that still does not mean he should do it if he doesn't want to (which Bruce would have never asked for anyway because that's just not part of his character). No matter their similarities, Jason and Bruce are two completely different people and they can't be expected to do and choose the same things.

Batman, of course, chooses to take responsibility for many, many things, most of which are completely optional. He's a billionaire, he doesn't have to help his city by spending his nights saving people, facing the worst the city has to offer, and risk his life and sanity on the daily. He's the CEO of one of the most wealthy companies in the world, he doesn't have to uplift his city by donating to orphanages, hospitals, and charities, creating programmes to help the youth, the poor, the disabled, ex-convicts, and other minorities, as well as funnel any struggling person he encounters to his company so that they can be assured of a job. He was a single and free man, he didn't have to agree to care for several angry, reckless, and bitter kids with death in their hearts.

All of the shit he does is completely optional! Yet, the one thing he explicitly chooses not to do, the one thing he absolutely refuses to take responsibility for and takes great pains to avoid, is killing.

And I get it, this is murder we're talking about here. You can't just expect people to be just okay with doing that, even if that person is a demented dude in a bat costume.

Actually, why are we expecting so much out of such a person? Cause Batman can do anything? Cause Jason is his son and Gotham is his city? Cause if given half a chance, we wouldn't let Jason down? Cause if something happened to us, we hope that we mattered enough to someone for them to avenge us, no matter if doing so would completely destroy them? Tear them apart from the inside-out? No matter that we're already dead and they'd have to live the rest of their lives like that?

Just something to think about.

At any rate, I think it's wrong to look at someone and expect them to kill for you. If Gotham wants Joker gone, they're just gonna have to do it themselves cause expecting a volunteer to do this extra shit they never asked for and explicitly does not want to do is more than just appalling.

It's cruel.

#meta #dc meta #dc comics meta #comic meta #can't believe i care this much about batman #maaaaan this was long #jason todd #bruce wayne #under the red hood #utrh #utrh meta #dc #dc comics #fandom meta

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thatadhdfeeling · 3 years ago

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The differences between HYPERFOCUSING and HYPERFIXATING

Tl;dr: Hyperfocusing is intense, uncontrollable concentration that can be productive and/or harmful. Hyperfixating is an obsession that can take up a lot of time, effort, and money, but is suddenly dropped. Both of these are common experiences with ADHD and other disorders, and hyperfixation can be mildly felt by neurotypical people, but to a lesser extent and far less frequently.

Hyperfocusing

is the state in which your attention is solely focused on the current task. This could be as simple as filing a nail, or as complex as reorganizing a room. It could be a minute, or several hours. And I don't mean this task is your main focus, I mean it's your ONLY focus.

Nothing else in the world exists to you. People struggle to interrupt and grab your attention. Time isn't a construct you understand anymore. Your nervous system stops sending alerts to your brain about physical symptoms. Hunger and a full bladder don't exist. Being in pain from not moving or muscle aches from heavy lifting aren't a recognizable thing.

It can be dangerous. When your body doesn't recognize hunger and you forget humans need to eat, you can cause digestion issues, low blood pressure, low brain oxygen levels, heartburn, etc. When your body doesn't tell you to stop and go pee, you can cause UTI or bladder infections and fevers. It is not a choice, it's not just working through lunch, and it's not just being super interested in something (although 99% of the time hyperfocusing is related to a task you find interesting).

Once you come out of the hyperfocusing state or are successfully interrupted, executive dysfunction tends to sink in and returning to that task is almost impossible. And everything hurts! It hurts to pee. It hurts to not eat. No time to prepare food, only to eat the food. You can feel very faint and confused due to lack of brain oxygen levels and lost perception of time. It's honestly not a fun experience to come out of. But you can get a lot of detailed work done while hyperfocusing! Hopefully something useful, but as it's not a choice of what on or when it happens, it isn't always productive.

Hyperfixating

is being obsessed with something. Could be anything. Learning a new skill, picking up a new (or old) hobby, an object, a person, a TV show.... Anything. But it's not just liking this thing a lot. It's an obsession.

Spending hours doing or researching or practicing or reblogging about it, even during inappropriate times. Sneaking it or something you can use to look it up with into work or school. Risking a lot to immerse yourself with it. Constantly thinking about it. Dreaming about it. And possibly hyperfocusing on it.

Everyone can enjoy a hobby or be a fan, but this isn't just enjoying it, it's obsession. It's the craving for that dopamine hit as though it were a drug. You find yourself spending so much money on it, and you're convinced it will last for a long time. You have this overwhelming desire to share it with the world. You'll tell your friends and family about it. Show them. Try to get them involved. Have your entire world surrounded by this hyperfixation by inserting it into every part of your life.

And then it's gone.

There's no warning, no getting bored period, no slowly becoming disinterested. You wake up one day and you don't care any more. It's over. It might come back in a few months or years, but more often than not it doesn't. And this can be a very low period. You feel incredibly dissatisfied and bored, but nothing fills that void. Nothing compares to the feeling of the thing you hyperfixated on, including the thing itself. It's like finishing a book or show and not knowing what to do with yourself after. When people ask you how it's going with that project or interest, it feels like a walk of shame to admit you haven't touched it for a very long time and no longer want to. That you spent so much effort and time and money on it and told yourself and everyone else that you weren't going to get bored of it. But you did.

And then the next hyperfixation comes along...

Hyperfocusing and hyperfixations are two common symptoms neurodivergent people experience. Mostly found in those with ADHD, but can be seen in other disorders as well (I believe autism is one of them. I am not autistic, I can't speak for members of the autism community on this). Both hyperfocusing and hyperfixating have their pros and cons, and neither can be controlled or started/stopped at will. The subject matter is also not a choice. Many neurotypical people experience times of intense focusing or obsessions with interests, but not quite to the same extent as often. Neurotypical people can mildly hyperfixate, but it tends to be for a longer time and usually includes a more gradual decline of interest. Some people are able to turn careers into it. If you are neurotypical and truly hyperfixate on something, congratulations, you've discovered your passion. But for someone with ADHD, they may struggle with this, as the hyperfixation can stop suddenly after a shorter time so they can't use it to help with career advancement. These are things that take over the lives of neurodivergent individuals. People have lost jobs over it, gone bankrupt over it, caused health problems because of it.... It's not just something everyone experiences. Neurotypical people can, but it's rarer and less intense. ADHD isn't a lack of attention, it's the inability to regulate it. So while we struggle to maintain focus, we also struggle to stop focusing at times.

If you know someone who's neurodivergent and tells you about these experiences, just listen. Let them teach you about their interest. Let them passionately talk to you about it. If they are hyperfocusing, follow up with them later. Even if they responded to a question during that period, double check if it's important to make sure they remember. Prepare them food ahead of time. Let them know if it's been hours since they got up and walked or went to the bathroom. Don't shame them for dropping an interest, or tell them their hyperfixation is annoying. Understand that they can't control hyperfocusing. Care for them, because they'll need it.

I don't speak for everyone with ADHD, this is just me trying to explain the differences and how strong they can be. I don't speak for anyone else, neurotypical or neurodivergent. Yes, everyone experiences these symptoms sometimes, but not everyone experiences them to the same extent and less frequently. That's why disorders are classified as they are. Please see my "Why saying everyone has ADHD is harmful" and "Disorder and disability aren't bad words" posts. I also have no sources, just personal experiences and what I have been explained by my therapist (who also has ADHD) and other neurodivergent people. So hey, I could be wrong. I'm always open to education, and wish for the world to understand that neurodivergent people are different, and that's not a bad thing!

#adhd #neurodivergent #adult adhd #adhd problems #living with adhd #adhd things #actually adhd #adhd brain #adhd inattentive #sorry it's so long #I keep seeing posts of people mixing up these two terms #thatadhdfeeling #theadhdfeeling #tadhdfpost

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dickgraysonsscrumptiousbooty · 2 years ago

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I’m sorta adding onto my post from a few days ago about how I think Vyn is autistic or at least neurodivergent and how that’s why some of us prefer him over the others.

One thing that sticks out to me personally is how he reads people and their thoughts so well. It’s to a point where it’s unrealistic lol but I’m the kind of person that’s not very articulate and I’m constantly finding myself struggling to say and explain things. I tend to mumble and stutter and it always takes a while to really communicate with other people and I think I’m really drawn to Vyn because of how much I wished there was someone who could just understand what I’m thinking.

At the same time, I’m a huge people pleaser lmao so I feel like I’d get a lot of anxiety if someone could read me that well because my brain is a mess but I do think it would be nice for someone to understand what I’m saying without judging me.

I’m also the kind of person who acts a bit impulsively and I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. Because of that, I usually try to be more understanding with people which is one reason why I still like Vyn the most even after the ableist issues in the past. To be 100% honest, I have said and thought some ableist things in the past too when I was ignorant and uneducated and I have experienced and learned and improved a lot since then. And while I sometimes do get frustrated seeing people be ignorant and ableist, I do also know that I was once in their position and that I wished someone had taken the time to be patient and educate me sooner. I feel like im rambling a bit lol but what I mean to say is I personally like how Mihoyo handled the situation and I appreciate how they’re putting in the effort to learn more so they don’t make the same mistakes and I do like how Vyn’s character has been growing and developing so far.

A lot of this is just from my personal experience so no one take any of this to heart please and I am not speaking for all autistic and neurodivergent people. But I do think it’s very interesting to see so many other autistic people simp over Vyn with me since I thought I would be the only one after the ableism issues in the past. Like I’d be enjoying Vyn content and someone mentions they’re autistic too and then it’s like

Anyways, I do really love seeing a few people sharing their stories and opinions and it’s really nice knowing I’m not the only one and I would love to keep talking and discussing with people!

#tears of themis #vyn richter #tot #mo yi #mihoyo #未定事件簿 #nxx #tears of themis vyn #autism

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an-anxious-gay-mess · 3 years ago

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Here's my headcanons of what neurodivergencies the lab rats (and leo) would have if I had been allowed to write this show

Adam:

-ADHD and Dyslexia

-"What do you mean the letters aren't supposed to move around?"

"Uh"

"Are you telling me most people don't have to read the same paragraph six times???"

"Uh-"

- After he got diagnosed he actually became a bit more interested in learning! It helps that most people are actually working with him now instead of just reassuring him that he's dumb -Chase especially feels really bad for teasing him so much without realizing how hard Adam had to try and researches ways to help people like him study

-Adam still doesn't go out of his way to do well though, he's fine as long as he's passing his classes

- is almost never standing still. He loves swivel chairs and will spend hours just spinning back and forth completely zoned out before he realizes he should probably eat something that day

-the only time you'll see him completely still is when he's sleeping or super upset about something. He gets RSD pretty bad sometimes and will just shut down completely when upset

Chase

-Autism, baby!!

-Gets really bad sensory overload and has a lot of meltdowns if he gets too overwhelmed

-he gets frustrated with himself a lot when he gets sensory overload and will try to ignore it, which usually makes it worse

-He has a lot of stims but he typically will only do the more visual ones when he feels safe (mostly when he's alone or with his family if he knows they won't make fun of him)

-Just. Constant info dumping. If you're going to start a conversation with him make sure you have at least 15 spare minutes to learn about the history of needle work (or whatever he's been researching that week)

-hates eye contact but will force himself for the sake of being Professional, to the point where he makes himself do more destructive stims (like pulling at his hair) or even having a meltdown

-(his family yells at him for doing this A Lot "Chase please just put on the goddamn headphones why do you do this to yourself-")

-he was kind of embarrassed about being autistic at first and still tries to hide it most of the time to prevent people from bullying him about it, but after a while he learns to accept that it's not his fault people want to be dicks, and that autism isn't something to be ashamed of

Bree:

-dyslexia and anxiety

-She's the one I have the least amount of headcanons for whoops-

-i think unlike Adam she's really embarrassed about being dyslexic and goes out of her way to avoid talking about it

-this is partially because of her anxiety too: she doesn't want to bother her teachers or anyone so she never mentions anything about getting accommodations

-because of this she struggles a lot in some of her classes, but she spends a lot of time worrying about them and studying too

-she's had a lot of panic attacks at 3 am over trigonometry

-after a while of her grades getting worse the school guidance counselor probably pulls her aside and is like "you know we can give you extra time to do tests right?" And basically gets her all the accommodations she needs

-Bree is like "wow glad I spent 2 years building that 5 minute conversation up in my head and making myself worry so much I threw up multiple times"

-she generally tries to not let anxiety control her too much, and once she gets some help from her teachers she gets way fewer panic attacks over school work

-she even tries to over compensate by trying to appear like nothing worries her even though Everything does

-she hates when her brother's occasionally go on missions without her (like if she's sick or injured), and her anxiety will scream at her the whole time they're gone

-they're always willing to reassure her that they're okay, though, and will even update her over headsets when they can

-she also worried a lot that people around her are secretly mad at her or don't like her. Her family is usually willing to reassure her that they love her, but it does tend to put a strain on relationships she forms outside of them

-also I think part of the reason she latches onto texting so much (besides the stereotypical Teenage Girl thing) is because spell check is a godsend

Leo

-OCD and autism

-tasha: uh hey buddy what are you doing?

6 year old leo: idk stacking these blocks

Tasha: oh, okay, why don't we work together to make a big tower?

Leo: no. There must be Exactly Six blocks in each tower

Tasha: okay buddy that's great :)

-the lab rats are initially very confused by some of his rituals

-for example: when he turned the lights in a room on or off, he had to flick the switch 5 times. Or at night, he had to check to make sure the door was locked three times

-they asked him if that was something that most people did in the outside world, and he explained to them what OCD was, and eventually told them about a bunch of other neurodivergences

-"wait so you said you have something called autism too?"

"Yeah, it's what makes me do that thing where I flap my hands sometimes. A lot of people with autism will know a lot of stuff about a few specific topics and will hate eye contact and other people touching them, but everyone is different"

Chase: "tell me more right now."

-that's how they end up getting diagnosed too!

-Leo tells them about different disorders (including ones they don't have) and they immediately launch onto the feeling of Are You Telling Me Other People Do This?

-they go to Big D about it and he's pretty accepting right away

-they debate a lot at first whether they want to get professionally diagnosed, but then they decide that it would be a lot easier to get accommodations at school with a doctor backing them up

-where was I going with this I'm completely spiraling

#long post #lab rats #bree davenport #chase davenport #adam davenport #leo dooley #these are kind of ooc but i havent fully watched this show in a couple years lmao

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justamessedupdisneyprincess · 2 years ago

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Alright so I’m just gonna explain more about myself and who I am. Just so people don’t judge me before even getting to know me.

I was gonna write more in the description but it wouldn’t let me so I’m continuing here.

I am a very socially awkward bisexual autistic Demi girl who hates the human race in general and loves animals. Humans hurt me, animals heal me. So unless if you’re an alien disguised as a human just like me don’t interact LOL

I tend to get cyber bullied or hated on tumblr, why I am even trying for a third fucking time is beyond me. Guess I wanna show off some of my art even though it’s gonna get shat on. Above in the description is where I listed the reasons I tend to get hate so if you didn’t read that already look at my description before having anything to do with me please. I don’t do “fake” friends. Never again. I’m gonna show off EXACTLY who I am so people don’t find out a simple trait I have and leave me for it.

Here’s some weird things about ME.

One thing I have been embarrassed about but want to announce is I have trichtillomania (a hair pulling disorder). Sorry if the topic may be kind of hard to some but that’s who I am and I’m screaming it loud. It’s a rare disorder but it’s very real and I haven’t found out it had a name until just recently just through reading people’s head canons over a character. After seeing it I looked it up and was relived to discover I wasn’t the only one. People used to call it a habit when I pull so knowing I’m not alone helps. Don’t mock me for it, it’s harder than you think. If you read about it most people would describe it as an itch that needs to be scratched which sums it up perfectly.

I am a farmer so if any of you are farm haters don’t attack me got it? I love animals, farming is a beautiful bond between man and animals. We make sure to give them all the best life possible, life on a farm is better than any wildness (as long as it’s all free ranged, I am against farmers who keep their animals caged up. It’s a disgrace to us real farmers) as they can get worms and die very very young, some animals even struggle to give birth. If not for us being there the babies would die inside their mother and then the mother dies. We feed them and give them water so they don’t have to starve or go thirsty. When there’s an orphan or rejected baby we care for them for without us the poor things would die as they have no mother and they all deserve a chance to live a good life. We are anything BUT animal abusers. We may eat them after a certain point but we are not monsters, we be sure they live their life to the fullest before then. Also don’t hate on me for not being a vegan or vegetarian. I love animals with all my heart and soul but I have to eat meat, as it’s how my body works. Meat contains things that other foods don’t have and as it turns out I have to have a lot of it for reasons I won’t get into. I will give you a hint. It’s a topic related to a scene in Turning Red that made overprotective parents freak out. I need iron. Lots of it. Don’t hate me for eating meat.

I am bisexual, I have a bit of a male lean though simply because I have found I seem to get along better with men rather than other genders. It could be because I’m a tomboy I’m not sure. I have some crushes on some fictional girls though as well but finding my type appear in a character with she/her pronouns is weirdly rare. I like girls like Abigail from Stardew Valley for example. Goth metal aesthetic but they are also kind of goofy, someone I can play video games with and laugh with. Also most girls tend to bully me, I haven’t been bullied by a boy, non binary or anyone else. It could be why I am also more nervous to speak with girls rather than others as a result as well.

I have a super bad anxiety disorder and have to take lots of medication for it to the point I struggle to do much during the day. This is why I can be a bit slow with talking to people or just drawing anything in general. I need to work at my own pace because the pills make me tired but help keep me calm to some degree. If I get super bad I lose control. The doctors described it to my mother as a raincoat, if it pours too much it can’t do anything but a sprinkle of rain is what it’s strong against. I also have been diagnosed with OCD and I think I may have RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria) as I panic whenever someone makes fun of me over almost anything or if someone ever gets angry at me. The smallest argument makes me crumble. Just seeing one troll makes me upset. So I have lots of bad mental problems so if I ever panic please forgive me. I am trying very hard to learn to control it. But this is why I am setting my boundaries right here and now.

Speaking of which, since I am slow and also busy I can’t talk every day all the time so please don’t spam me with messages because I can’t talk all the time. Sometimes I might be gone for months sorry so please don’t pester me into talking to you. It’s not that I’m avoiding you I am just busy but please keep that in mind. Also do NOT try to guilt trip me into talking to you more or drawing free art for you. I used to get taken advantage of all the time when I was younger and was so easy to fool, I’m just over it now. I don’t have time to draw free art, I only ever make art for someone if it’s someone special, like a best friend.

My pronouns are she/they. I’m still not super sure of my gender or pronouns even my sexuality. Don’t harass me for that as well, I am who I am and still learning even if I am 20.

As mentioned I do have some fetishes but this is not a kink blog as I mentioned I like to keep them separate. I have my kink account on deviantart then my regular account. I don’t wanna make anyone uncomfortable with my kinks but I also want to be free and have my rights to be myself. If any of you give me a hard time for this as well you will be blocked. I just find chubby people cute. I like to imagine having a teddy bear as a partner, a living pillow who can gently pet my head and tell me everything is ok as I rest my head on a warm soft belly. That’s just me ok? Don’t make fun of me or yell at me for it.

I also hate inc8st ships. Not only is it just gross in general and illegal but as someone who is close to my family seeing any inc*st creeps me out. While Ian never had a Dad but had Barley, I never had friends but had my sister. Also if you even THINK of shipping me and my uggghhh sister for just saying that I will cut you limb from limb you fucking creep.

Porn blogs please don’t follow me. I may have mentioned I had a fetish but belly kink stuff is very different from actual porn (unless the two are combined obviously but I prefer fluff when it comes to that stuff). But I don’t feel comfortable with porn blogs following me so please don’t. I also do not feel comfortable talking about anything sexual as well. Yeah I’m an adult but that doesn’t mean I am seeking out that sort of thing. Part of my sense of humour might be dirty but it’s subtle and dirty humour is different to actual dirty talk or conversations about it. Although the majority of my humour is mostly dark so any dirty humour would be pretty rare from me.

Also don’t hate on me for loving Onward. I literally had someone give me a hard time for liking the movie just this morning as I’m writing this. I understand everyone has different tastes but don’t hate me for loving this movie. You can hate the movie sure but don’t hate ME for loving the movie. Don’t harass me for having opinions.

I also have emetophobia, which is the fear of vomiting. The fear can vary from general vomit or the action of it. I am scared of vomiting myself. Vomit in general grosses me out and makes me cringe but if I feel even the tiniest bit nauseous I have a full on panic attack. I even have to wake up my parents still if I think something is wrong with my stomach at night. Yeah I know, a grown ass person who is so scared of vomiting they need help from others over it. Childish right? Well it’s a REAL phobia you can look it up if you want. But don’t make fun of me for that either, it’s not something I can control. I’m just scared of it. Some folks say it could be linked to the fear of losing control. I guess that could be it but I just can’t stand the feeling to the point I fear it. Like with pregnancy I am more scared of the morning sickness than the actual childbirth. Yeah, it’s that bad. I wish I can get over it so I could have kids without that type of fear but then again I don’t think I would make a good mother as much as I do want kids someday.

If you hate me for any of these things about me above then just fuck off ok? I want to just be myself.

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wri0thesley · 4 years ago

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Could you please do headcanons for Bruno's gang with a s/o who is autistic? Like they have trouble in social situations, they have special interests, they stim, etc. Thank you!

hi anon! i am also autistic so i drew a lot from my own experiences here, i know that many autistic people have different experiences so i am sorry if this doesn’t match up with your own! <3

♡ Bruno’s own personality is a little . . . eccentric. He is kind, yes, and caring - but he also has a chaotic streak that likes to see people he cares about squirm and laugh and blink at him in confusion. It will take him some time to realise that these jokes can make you uncomfortable, or go over your head entirely - but once he does, he is likely to remember it. He makes an especial effort to include you, upon realising you have never really been one of the ‘included inner sanctum’ before - and your slightly different way of looking at things, at making observations on the rest of his gang, means that he is given plenty more ammunition for some of his more unusual jokes. He’s not bothered by your stimming, in public or in private - Bruno is a man who accepts people’s small quirks, as long as they are not dangerous to anybody. If you do have some self-destructive stimming habits, he will do his best to find you an alternative that won’t leave you in pain. Bruno takes care of his team.

Abbacchio is one of the harder members in Bruno’s gang to read, even without your problems understanding social cues. His face remains passive, his tone sarcastic - you often misunderstand him, and he rolls his eyes, and you feel lost and adrift. But he is not so stand-offish on purpose - he genuinely sometimes forgets about other people’s issues, because he can get so caught up in his own. If he sees your eyes fill with tears or frustration, you may notice his shoulders stoop, a soft sigh escaping him, as he rethinks what he’s saying. He has the bonus of being the kind of man who talks to one straight; he does not sugarcoat his words, and when he strips back his sarcasm, you appreciate the forthright words. He’s not the right person to go to if you want to talk about your special interests - he’s likely to put on his headphones - but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t respect you, or that he wouldn’t hurt somebody who hurt you. He’s one of the first to rise to his feet and draw himself up to his full height with a low; “Excuse me?” if somebody in the vicinity sees you as an easy target.

♡ Mista takes a little while to understand. Friendships, social cues, thinking he is very cool - all of these things come to Mista very naturally. You find his laidback nature frustrating - his ability to just take things as they come, without finding out why. His fear of the number four is one of few things that does make sense to you - you may not understand it, but you also recognise there are things about yourself other people do not understand. He will come around, in the end - Mista is nothing if not loyal to people he cares about - but he’s one of the more difficult members for you to be around. People just seem to click with him. One thing he is good at, though, is helping you with routines - noticing if something is Wrong and being able to fix it. He is so used to doing it for himself that learning your own particular quirks and needs come second nature, and he knows how off-kilter a stray quadruple of something can throw off his day - so he does his best to ensure it doesn’t throw off yours.

♡ Narancia, surprisingly for someone whose entire being is so chaotic, really gets it. This is a boy who values friendship above all else - and as a member of his gang, you are his friend, and he will fight for you to the death if it comes to it. He doesn’t make fun of you if you stim in public, but he will threaten those who do. Whilst he understands social situations, he has a tendency to be naive within them - and sometimes, your way of cutting straight to the point helps clear his muddy mind. He listens to you with wide eyes, becoming very interested in whatever subject that you have decided to infodump on him about today (and being willing to hear the same thing over and over again, because he can sense the happiness and excitement in your voice) - and you, in return, listen to him very seriously about his own interests. You do sometimes have trouble following his quick thought processes, but he cares so much about the friendship (and you, in return) that the two of you will rehash and go back over things until you are once more on the same page.

Fugo is no stranger to not understanding other people. A sheltered life as a child genius means that he did not have much time to socialise with other people at all, let alone people his age - his anger is partly because of this. He has never really learnt how to control it, and he sees shades of himself when your eyes dart from side to side as you try and work out what the proper way to respond to Mista’s jokes or Bruno’s kindness is. He’s good with words, and he loves to soak in new knowledge - so hearing you trip over yourself in excitement about your special interests fascinates him. He’s the kind of boy who would look into things you are interested in to try and gather you up in conversations - he needs his brain to be sparking at all times, and you are always excited to launch into a new spiel about your current hyperfixation, and he gives back as well as he can. Despite his anger issues, he genuinely cares about you - and he knows, too, that you’re one of the members more likely to not quite understand what’s gotten into him, so he holds his rage back and digs fingers into his palms so as not to explode at you. If he can hold back, and explain why he’s angry to you later, carefully and concisely without his emotions clouding his brain, he knows you will understand.

Giorno’s childhood means he tends towards being quiet - unlike you, though, Giorno is an expert at other people. He has had to be - he’s had to learn little tells if someone is angry at him, understand the modulation in people’s voices. He sees, in you, though, somebody who does not have the same skill - and as such, he reaches out to protect you, murmuring what he thinks is happening under his breath when you begin to panic at being unsure of the next step to take. You are in awe of Giorno’s confidence and determination - he knows exactly what he’s doing at all times, and you admire him for that. He’s another who is willing to quietly listen to whatever it is you want to talk about, offering you small smiles and leading questions to continue - part of him, really, just enjoys watching you talk about something you care about.

#jjba #jojo headcanons #jojo postin #bruno buccellati #leone abbacchio #guido mista #pannacotta fugo #giorno giovanna #Anonymous

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