#ao3 wrapped (reader edition)
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Ao3 Wrapped Reader Edition
Questions from this post.
Reading has been so difficult for me over the past few years. This year, I seem to have really broken down the wall I had surrounding it, so let's celebrate! Ao3 Wrapped, here I come!
Do you know how many works your read this year?
I do not. It was more than I read last year, Iâm pretty sure.
Longest work you read this year?
Just a Kid by @howtowhumpyourhiccup. I need to catch up on it, actually. Iâm so impressed by this story, honestly. I love it.
Shortest work you read this year (not including art published on ao3)?
It was one of @howtowhumpyourhiccupâs AI-Less Whumptober stories! All really great stuff.Â
Do you have any works you read that are between you and your web browser?
Nope. Shameless enjoyer of all things dark and smutty. No such thing as guilty pleasure, especially when it comes to reading.
Did anything you read make you cry?
I know I left a comment about crying on someoneâs fic, but for the life of me I canât remember which.
Wait.
I got it. look what you made me do. I distinctly remember that one making me cry.
What's your absolute favorite works you read this year?
I honestly canât choose! Anything by @lilliths-httyd-blog, @howtowhumpyourhiccup, @thedragon-and-hisboy, @fictionalnormalcy, and @ashleybenlovereally roped me in! I also had the pleasure of helping @butterfly-siege edit their Hijack fic! Also, how can I forget my sister, @lifblogs?
Did you read through any authors entire works?
I think I read everything by @thedragon-and-hisboy.
Pairing you read the most for?
Viggo/Hiccup
Favorite rare pair you read works for this year?
Viggo/Astrid!
Largest fandom you read for?
Star Wars
Smallest fandom you read for?
This one I reside in: How to Train Your Dragon.
Did you as a reader receive any works as gifts?
Yes, I received quite a few! Still have to read all of them though. Oops.
What trope do you think you read the most of?
Whump.
Favorite AU you read this year?
@howtowhumpyourhiccupâs apocalypse AUs are always my favorite.
Favorite canon concept you read this year?
Honestly, reading about Hiccupâs problems and struggles as an amputee is something I always love. Fandom brushes past it quite a bit sometimes, but that was a huge thing that happened to him, and thereâs no way it wouldnât still cause him pain.
Were you comments coherent or mostly screaming?
Healthy mix of both.
Did you leave any comments that had to be in more than one part?
No.
How many works did you bookmark this year?
9. Most of them are currently in my to read pile.
Did you read any works published before this year?
I donât think so, no.
Did you download any works?
Yes! I downloaded some of my favorite authorsâ works! One included a Teen Wolf fic that was so good. and the universe is forgetting you. This one really stands out to me. Also, one of @howtowhumpyourhiccupâs works that really dealt with Hiccupâs chronic pain got downloaded because it was so accurate to my experience as someone with chronic pain. Also downloaded a number of @lilliths-httyd-blog's fics.
WIP's or completed works?
Category you read the most of?
M/M
What time of day do you read the most during?
Night time!
Where do you read the most?
In bed
Do you read on your phone or on your computer?
Either my phone or my ipad. Never on my laptop. It doesnât seem comfortable enough.
Did you do any beta reading for anyone?
That I did! Some for free, so like, light editing, and then intensive paid editing.
Do you listen to anything while reading?
Usually, no. I just want to focus on the story.
Did any line/passage stick with you after you read it?
So many that I canât even begin to choose.
Do you have any works you think are required reading for (fandom)?
Not really, honestly. Read what you like! Avoid what you donât! That sort of thing.
Biggest surprise for you as a reader this year?
I read a lot more than I expected for a lot more fandoms than I expected. I also surprised myself the other night by reading a fic for a fandom Iâm not even in. Iâve never done that before, but I was so intrigued by the character (Astarion from Baldurâs Gate 3) and I knew the writer, so yeah, I read it. It was That Sweet Man by @thetrapperstrap.
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6, 24, 30
YAY oh my gosh thank you so much for indulging me in the AO3 Wrapped [Reader Edition] ask game situation! I LOVE any and all ask game situations and this one is extra fun because I get to chat about the fun fics I've read this year by so many talented people! If anyone else wants to send any other asks the list can be found here.
6. What's your absolute favorite works you read this year?
Aw man asking the hard questions! There have been so many fics I've enjoyed this year! I reread Poses by @vinylandcoffeecollection multiple times this year because it is my all time favorite / comfort fic! I've also really enjoyed everything @lookedlikethebins, @sundrownsthehouse and @0ceanxey3s have written!
24. Where do you read the most?
On my phone curled up on my couch with a fluffy blanket that my friend got me for Christmas two years ago that has horses that look like Pop on it đ
30. Biggest surprise for you as a reader this year?
Hmmmm another hard one! I'm not sure if this means biggest surprise in a fic I've read or biggest surprise in general and I absolutely over think everything so I'm answering it as a more general thing. I've been really surprised but how small this fandom can feel sometimes. Everyone that is writing for the fandom is so incredibly talented and for the most part so incredibly kind - I've just been surprised there aren't more of us!
Thank you so much for sending in this ask and for (hopefully!) reading my fic! I really appreciate the support and am so grateful that people are willing to take the time to send me fun asks like this! Thank you so much and I hope you have a FANTASTIC rest of your day / night!
â¤ď¸Ally
#allylikethecat#ask ally#anon ask#fanfiction#matty fic#keep it kind#AO3 Wrapped [Reader Edition]#questions#answers#ao3 wrapped#ao3 wrapped reader edition#thank you so much for sending this in!#these are so fun!
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2, 14, 20 for the ao3 wrapped đ
Thanks for sending this in! đ¤ and as I'm sure you know, all of these fics are for K/S as they're 99% of what I've been reading for the past year.
2. Longest work you read this year: errrr I can't remember, I think I remember one being around 190k? From my bookmarks the longest is Fires of Forever by CateAdams at 65k - which I'd of course highly recommend. I was wondering though, do series count? I feel like they should, in which case The Field of Evermore series by Tiger Tyger (Southern_Comfort) comes in at approximately 180k and guys this series as a whole is my favourite piece of spirk fanfiction ever, and it is incredibly underrated imo. I regularly go back to reread this series, my absolute favourite characterisation of Spock and Kirk - just amazing.
14. Favourite AU you read this year: Nastiiii whyyy? you know I don't tend to read AU's, and errr apparently I don't have any fics bookmarked from this year that are tagged as an AU, but I did really enjoy Errand of Mercy by Ruminavi which gives a wonderful (and very hot) alternative ending to the tos episode of the same name.
20. Did you download any works: I didn't, and yes before anyone tells me I should in case an author deletes their works, I have considered that. However, as a writer who has deleted quite a few of their own works, this is something that I know happens and have accepted.
From this ask game.
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Megs!! đ 6 & 9 for AO3 Wrapped: Readerâs Edition!
When I decided it would be fun to do this, I immediately realized I have read SO many works this year, it is all a blur, but I will do my best!!! đ
6. What's your absolute favorite works you read this year?
đ Collateral Damage by @danpuff-ao3
Draco Malfoy/Ron Weasley | E | 16k Fandom: Harry Potter
Yes, I realize you are the one that tagged me in this and asked the question, BUT I cannot discount the fact that this was one of my first 2022 reads and ABSOLUTELY one of my favs! I've reread this... I have no idea how many times at this point. It truly made me fall in love with Dron, and as many as I have read since then, I always come back to this one. It was so well written; you can tell you enjoyed every word!! đ
an unsteady sun by @museaway
Nanase Haruka/Matsuoka Rin | M | 15k Fandom: Free!
I did a rewatch of Free! thanks to @makeitp1nk and re-fueled my love for RinHaru! đ Of course, that meant I needed to go searching for fic and stumbled upon this lovely amnesia fic! I'm planning to podfic it when I'm able! đ Thank you muse for being my intro to the Free! fandom, and I absolutely love it here! đŚđŹ
i'm just a guy whose intentions are good by @phenomenalasterisk for @hpcestfest
Harry Potter/James Sirius Potter | E | 9k Fandom: Harry Potter
So Phe doesn't write often. She's a fantastic Podficcer and the world's greatest cheerleader, but when they *do* write - damn. Just. Damn. I was SO in love with her characterization of James in this fic. Just a sweet chubby boy trying to ignore his crush on his dad, and then finding all the love he deserved in return. It was absolutely "wholesome incest" and I loved it so much. I'm so glad you were able to finish it!
9. Favorite rare pair you read works for this year?
Insert airhorn noises here đ˘đ˘đ˘đ˘đ˘đ˘đ˘
đS N A M E SđŚ (Severus Snape/James Potter)
Good god, I could go on for days regarding my love for this pairing. From the very beginning of my entry to HP fandom I adored Snarry. I was definitely one of those Snape fans with a grudge against the Marauders, but as my multi-shipping grew, my love for James Potter blossomed into a burning adoration that I cannot get enough of.
I can thank GoldenEmpire's The Friend of a Friend for introducing me to this pairing and convincing me of soft, redeemable James. It has since been removed from AO3, which breaks my heart, so I'm thankful I had it downloaded as I reread it CONSTANTLY.
I'll supply my next favorite fic as a recommendation, because, holy shit, this is the wildest of rollercoasters that makes you feel ALL of the feelings in one story... from anger to hope to despair, to anguish and optimism and that ultimate happy ending. I had to take some breaks when the road got rough, but it was so worth the journey!!
Revenge is Sweet by BlueHorizon6 (FFN | AO3)
James Potter/Severus Snape | M | 120k Fandom: Harry Potter
AO3 wrapped: reader edition
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Hi Mari đĽ°!! 15 and/or 23 for the reader asks, please đ
hello penny 𼰠thank you so much!!
15. Favorite canon concept you read this year?
oooooh, this one is hard. i am realising just how little canon compliant stuff i read (there's barely anything in my bookmarks that happens during canon, that's crazy) -- no matter what fandom hahaha!
i think hp wise, it would have to be Yours is the Earth (Hold On, Hold On) by chickenlivesinpumpkin which is incredible! It is set post-war and not EWE compliant but i don't believe that's canon anyway soooooooo... yeah. It is faithful to canon but it introduces a ton of really really cool concepts, the writing is brilliant and I enjoyed it a lot
i also have to mention Baltimore Blues by SpangleBangle for AFTG because reading the riot from Andrew's POV was all I wanted after i finished the books and this delivered. for Merlin, I really enjoyed And like the cycle of the year, we begin again by katherynefromphilly which is completely canon compliant but doesn't happen within canon, and instead deals with Arthur coming back 1500 years after his death, which is a fic concept I will happily read as many times as there are days between Arthur's death and his coming back.
23. What time of day do you read the most during?
hmmm, i read mostly in the evenings, before i fall asleep, although this year i ended up reading more books before bed than fic. in the past few months, i have read a lot of fic between 3 and 6am which i know is terrible but i have been struggling with sleep a lot and reading fic is a lot more entertaining than staring at the darkness wishing i was asleep lol
ao3 wrapped [reader edition]
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(That other ask was for the writer version). For the reader ao3 wrapped: 11
11. Smallest fandom you read for
Definitely The Wayfarers Series by Becky Chambers. It has 51 works on AO3.
#thanks so much for your asks i love talking about fanfic!#anyways if anyone likes soft queer scifi Wayfarers is great#ask game#ao3 wrapped#ao3 wrapped reader edition
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Do you know how many works your read this year?
đ ao3 wrapped [reader edition] (accepting)
Pfft... Umm... So, small disclaimer: I'm a speed reader and tend to read mostly long fics, and due to memory issues will also reread earlier chapters of multichapter long fics to remember wtf was going on previously before reading the newest chapters (because I also tend to wait until there's at least a handful of chapters before getting caught up because otherwise I'll have to keep searching for fic immediately after just having picked one to read).
I have also been hyperfixated on Mass Effect (since introducing you to it, no less), so that's been the predominate fandom to the point that I've read almost everything in some of the tags unless it outright has stuff I won't read at all due to being NOPTs, squicks, and/or severe triggers. Like, I think there are only a handful of Nihlus/Shep fics I haven't read at all yet. And fyi, there are only 3 fics for Joker/Tali, which makes me sad and I kinda want to fix that if I can get the spoons to do so.
All of that was written mostly while I waited to get out of the AO3 frozen jail from trying to load through too many pages too quickly, so now that I can get a rough estimate based on my history, I've read close to 200 fics in 2023 - the majority of them long fics of 100k or more), and the majority of them this year being Mass Effect (including Andromeda) and/or Dragon Age, including various crossovers in some cases (I'm a sucker for a good crossover and/or AU, as you well know).
I read everything from complete fics to wips (including abandoned fics), so there's not much limiting what I'll read. The biggest thing is just staying away from the ships I don't care for, and the tropes I don't want to see, which AO3 makes super easy to avoid (especially since I also use userscripts for highlighting tags, so I have warnings highlighted as red to make them easier to find in long clusters of tags as necessary).
Lately, rarepair hell has been the most common theme I've found myself in, with some pairings having only single or double digits of fics, and most of those are really short (like 1000 words or less), so I'm always looking for the next long fic to dive into.
If I read more short fic, the number would easily be higher, but I actively sort by word count and start at the longest fics possible and work my way down through the pages. Given it only takes me a couple hours to read a 50k fic, and only about 2 nights to read a 200k fic, it's little wonder I seek them out first, unless I'm pressed for time or am having bad ADHD issues with attention span, then I might filter down to a smaller range for a bit.
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6 + 16 + 25 for the reader ask game
Hey there! Thanks for the asks!
6.) What's your absolute favorite works you read this year?
Oh goshhhh!!!!! How to narrow down my loves. I'll stick to fics that were posted this year, yeah? Otherwise we'll be here all day. (I do a lot of rereads!)
~ Compulsory Figures by LilaDiurne (@liladiurne)
I hate to do this to her, but like...Okay, my friend Lila is so very gifted and I adore all of her work, but Compulsory Figures blew my socks off. Smug, famous Severus and starstruck Harry???? The smut is stupid hot. I can't tell you the number of times I've reread this fic. It's ridiculous. It's a Muggle figure skating AU!!!!! All that elegance and grace and beauty I associate with figure skating and all the questionable hotness of Severus abusing his fame and power to seduce pretty boys?? Yes please and thank you.
~ Ghosts of Christmas by PinaNaponi (@vulnerasanenturmyprince)
My sweet Nina. She has produced so many excellent fics, but this one from Adopt-a-Prompt still stands out to me. Found family fluff plus family history angst. It's set at Spinner's End (which I'm always a sucker for) and features Eileen (who I'm also a sucker for.) Postwar recovery, set during Christmastime! Combines my love of Snarry in particular with my love of Severus himself, and how that love extends to learning more about his history and exploring more of where (and who) he came from and how it shaped him.
~ A Life Worth Remembering by Writcraft (@writcraft)
This is especially special since it's established Drarry that becomes Drapery. It's very rare that I can read Harry or Snape with others, even if it's both of them with others. I have very strange, specific feelings about my OTP, okay? But I've always loved Writ's work, and I knew they were very excited to get this work finished and posted, so I couldn't resist giving it a chance. And I'm so glad I did! (Should have known I could trust them!) It's such a unique premise, and it's de-aging the only way I like it (as in: retaining an age gap!) The exploration of each individual connection (between Harry and Draco, and Harry and Severus, and Draco and Severus), and how they all work together. The struggles they face. And how real and human they all feel. And while I've been able to read the occasional Drapery in the past, this is the first one that really made me see it. This convinced me it could be real, as more than just a bit of smut to scratch an itch. (For me personally, this is just about my weirdly specific ship feels LOL.)
~ The Lamb of Tartary by eldritcher
One of few WIPs I follow! Such a strange, dark fairytale-esque story! I still owe them a comment on chapter 2, I believe...Which means I need to reread, oh no. EYES. Eldritcher always has such unique ideas and such a unique writing style and every one of their works is stellar, but this one especially captured my mind and heart, and I'm so excited for the third and final chapter to be posted!
~ The Afterlight by perverse_idyll (@perverse-idyll)
Another of the very few WIPs I follow! Listen, PI has been my biggest writing crush for the longest time. I've been reading since The White Road, okay (still one of my top fave Snarries of all time, btw.) To get several new stories from PI this year was such a treat! Social Lubricant was such a joy, and I'm so excited to see where The Threefold Death goes, but The Afterlight has my heart. We're barely in the story at all but I already have a feeling it'll end up on my faves list one day, when all is said and done. Her characterizations of Harry and Severus are, as ever, fully on point and exactly how I like them, as is their electric dynamic. Her prose is as gorgeous as ever, and the story itself is full of the grit and humanity and passion I'm forever in love with. I could not be more jazzed about this story and I about die whenever I see an update. (Speaking of which, this is another one I owe a comment on...Oops! I'll get there soon, PI, I swear!)
16.) Were you comments coherent or mostly screaming?
Ahahahahaha. People tell me I'm more coherent than I think I am, so who knows. I make solid attempts at being coherent that I feel turn into babbling, rambling nonsense.
I think my comments for my favorites all turned out to be a good combination of both? Like "this work is so great and it blew my mind and it deserves me waxing poetic, but also my brain is melted so this is hard."
25.) Do you read on your phone or on your computer?
Prior to this year, I'd have said my Kindle! I was doing so good about reading all my fics there, but I got a bit lazy this year and have been reading on my phone instead. I think I've only read on my computer for helping check fest fics, or looking over fics for friends on Google docs. I don't like "checking" fics on my phone, it's easier for me to get in the right mindset for that on my computer.
ao3 wrapped: reader's edition
answered: 5, 9; 6, 16, 25
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5, 6, 8 for ao3 wrapped! <3
8. pairing you read the most for?
hmm probably a tie between sterek and buddie
5. did anything you read make you cry?
yes!! uhhh i cry allll the time when i'm reading but, just off the top of my head, these wrecked me:
@kitkatpancakestack's even gods die
the autistic!eddie series by nonalovesyou that i will literally never shut up about (when i tell you i read the entire thing in one night and cried through most of it. i am not exaggerating.)(if anyone sees this and has read this series. please tell me. i'd love to scream about it together.)
@hattalove's weddings fic (happy tears. this-is-the-cutest-shit-ever tears. but also like. in-my-feels-about-being-arospec tears and god-i-wish-i-felt-what-they-feel tears. but also queer-love-is-so-beautiful tears.)
also, i re-read @wearethecyclones's pcts series at least twice a year and it never fails to make me sob hysterically at, like, 3 am. truly a great time.
(i know there are more but the issue is: i simply cannot remember.)
6. absolute favorite works you read this year?
omg omg omg. ok. this was so challenging. but i think:
the autistic!eddie series, as mentioned above. (you know when you read something, and you're like, "holy shit. this is me, on the page. those are my thoughts. those are my feelings. and this work of art just explained things about me to myself." that was me with this fic. i literally have an annotated version of it saved on my laptop.)
@emmagrant01's something like this (this fic has accidentally replaced parts of check please canon in my brain. also my first thought when i finished was, "can't wait to find some fanfic of this," before remembering that, uh, this was the fanfic.)
@hattalove's letâs hear it for the boy (i feel like i've already gushed over this one to a nearly embarrassing degree so i will simply say: it broke me into pieces and put me back together)
@alocalband's not quite lost (not quite found) (maybe cheating since i didn't read it for the first time this year? but it's one of my top fav comfort fics, and i did indeed read it many times in 2022. it's so GOOD, but on top of that it just feels gentle and cozy and healing. it's like. worn-in flannels and hot tea and soft knit blankets, but in words.)
(again. i know there are more but these are the first 4 that came to mind and i refuse to let myself keep going because i already feel bad about how long this is. i also feel bad bc i know i read SO MANY amazing shorter one-shots this year, but unfortunately shorter fics tend to fall right out of my brain.)
ao3 wrapped (reader edition)(ask me about my fanfic consumption!)
#WINTER!!! tysm for asking and for giving me a reason to ramble on about fanfic <333#sorry it turned into an essay#i meant to get it done faster but i got a mental block about it when i realized i was gonna end up tagging actual real people#(and if i tagged you and you see this and you don't want to be tagged just lmk!! i will untag <3)#ao3 wrapped (reader edition)#scattered-winter#fanfic#fic recs#leo's asks
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Ao3 wrap reader edition! 7, 8 and 22 if youâd like? :)
I like a lot đ
7. Did you read through any authors entire works?
I didnât and I donât think Iâve ever done that? I think there are authors from whom Iâve read (almost) all of their work in one fandom because I think they are spectacularly good. But I usually donât read their other work for fandoms Iâm not interested in/donât know much of and those usually exist.
8. Pairing you read the most for?
Mmh ⌠it might be Darrell Rivers/Sally Hope â only because I took a trip down fanfiction memory lane last week and read a lot of Malory Towers fanfiction and they tend to be the couple-to-be even though Iâm very partial to Darrell/Alicia Johns myself. The months before I didnât read much ff at all. Fun fact: I thought about Malory Towers after years of not thinking about it because my mobile randomly played a song from a very persistent iTtunes playlist thatâs years old via the carâs loudspeakers when I took our cat to a friend with said car. The damn playlist is somehow still stuck in my phoneâs cloud even though I no longer use iTunes and never actively choose this playlist or even know how to access it voluntarily :D And this song reminded me of Malory Towers of which I read all the German translations and continuations when I was a kid. Itâs a super outdated and super repressed boarding school saga and one can read a lot of queer subtext into it which the famous author Enid Blyton would totally be offended by even though there are a lot of rumors about her and her affairs with women :D)
22. Category you read the most of?
I think all fall under the hot women are hot for each other though maybe oblivious about it category.
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I'm curious about 13, 26, and 27 for the ao3 reader wrapped!
Ahhhh thank you so much for sending this in! I love question games so much!
13. What trope do you think you read the most of?
Does Hurt/Comfort count because I primarily read Hurt/Comfort across all of the different fandom I am in!
26. Did you do any beta reading for anyone?
I did a little bit for a few different people (including my IRL Bestie who is in a VERY different fandom lol) I am always so blown away by how talented everyone is an so honored to get to be a part of their creative process! I am also always happy to take a look at something or chat through ideas if anyone is looking for beta reading or someone to brainstorm with đ
27. Do you listen to anything while reading?
I listen to a lot of The Chainsmokers when Iâm reading and when Iâm writing because itâs just kind of background noise? I donât usually get caught up in / distracted the song with them like I do with other artists. If someone has mentioned in an authorâs note though that a certain song relates to a fic or if they have made a playlist for the fic, I will try and listen to that though!
Thank you so much for indulging me and sending in this ask! I love question games! If anyone else wants to ask any other AO3 wrapped [reader edition] questions the list can be found here! Thank you again for reading and being such a wonderful friend and cheerleader! I don't know what I would do without you đ
â¤ď¸Ally
#allylikethecat#ask ally#fanfiction#keep it kind#sun ask#AO3 wrapped [reader edition]#questions#answers#ao3 wrapped reader edition#ao3 wrapped#i always get so excited when i get an ask#so thank you so much again#and also thank you so much for being the best cheerleader and so lovely and supportive always!
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PLEASE, LOVE ME. PT 1
simon riley / reader
FIND PART TWO || read the full thing on ao3
tags: childhood friends, friends2lovers, virgin!reader, soft!simon, protective!simon, afab!reader, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, MDNI
cw: reader is over 20, pining, masturbation (reader), loss of virginity, explicit workplace sexual harassment/assault, so much crying, one-sided love, not-really-unrequited love, vomiting, panic attacks, depression, crying, sex related shame, PTSD (reader), codependency but cute, self-deprecating thoughts, slut shaming, wet dream, dry humping, simon fucks up tho, reference to suicide & suicidal ideation, really nasty argument, reader hits simon sorry, apologizes tho!!!, reader struggles to orgasm, drinking, fooling around while drunk (no sex), breast play, fingering, orgasm denial, simon's a tease, p-in-v, cunnilingus, multiple orgasms, creampie, mating press, missionary, simon's dirty mouth, dirty talk, wet&messy, big cock, uncut simon bc i said so, reassurance & encouragement, some pain upon penetration, clit spanking, post-coital crying!!!!!!, aftercare, briefly edited so apologies for any lingering mistakes
note: any triggering acts such as harassment/sa are done by a third party, not simon!!! also the sa is not vague or implied, there is a written out scene so please be mindful when you read! thank u to @allsaiint for reading over this and helping!
you've loved him since you were children. after a confession when you were 14 went rejected, you vowed to never let your feelings be known again. but after an incident that left you hurt and fragile, you find it hard to keep that promise.
part 1: 17.8k total: 35.8k
Your muscles were stiff, thighs twitching and trembling as you laid in bed, staring at your water stained ceiling. Your chest rose and fell in time with rapid breathing. You had worn yourself out, caused a wet spot on your bed, yet you remained completely unsatisfied. Your fingers were cramped up and you let out a groan of frustration, rolling over to crawl out of bed.Â
It had become a daily ritual at this point, you with your hand between your thighs, rubbing and touching, only to get into the shower completely unsatisfied and embarrassed at your own inability to get yourself off.Â
People your age didnât struggle like this, you convinced yourself. Your cheeks burned as you stepped under the warm spray from your showerhead, the creaking pipes just background noise to you now. You were broken, that was the only explanation you could think of.Â
By the time you got out of the shower and changed your sheets, throwing the dirty ones into the washer, it was evening and a familiar knocking rang through your apartment.
You didnât even have to answer it before the lock was clicking and the large form of your best friend Simon ducked in.Â
âHey, Simon!â you called cheerfully, excitedly bounding into the room and wrapping your arms around him in greeting.Â
He grunted, harshly patting your back in the familiar way he always does before kicking his boots off. When he straightened up, his eyes narrowed as he looked down at you.Â
âWhat's with you?â he asked, a thick, dark brow raised suspiciously.Â
âUm,â you stepped back, shrugging as you tried to look nonchalant, âWhat do you mean?â
âYou lookâŚâ his eyes raked down your body, clearly assessing you, âYou look tense.â
Immediately, your cheeks erupted into flames. Your face felt so hot that you had to bring your hands up to cool them before laughing nervously, âThatâs no different than usual.â
He was silent for several, long, grueling seconds before grunting and breezing past you to the kitchen, clearly letting it drop. You took a moment to catch your breath before following him, finding him hunched over looking into your barren refrigerator.Â
âWhereâs all your fuckinâ food?â he snapped, straightening back up with a huff when he heard you come in behind him.
âDidnât get a chance to shop this week, Si,â you replied stiffly, crossing your arms over your chest.
âWhy?â he demanded, slamming the appliance closed before heading to your cabinets to do inventory there too.
âPaycheck was short again this week,â you answered, speaking quietly in hopes he wouldnât look into it anymore than that.Â
He angrily slammed a cabinet closed and leaned on his palms against the counter, head hung between his shoulders, âYour boss fuckinâ stiff you again?â
âI-Itâs not a big deal, Simonââ you attempted to quell him.
âNot a big deal?â he snapped, slamming his hands down on the counter, making you flinch at the noise. You knew Simon would never, ever hurt you but his anger was something to behold nonetheless, âIt is a big deal when you canât even afford to fuckinâ eat!â
âSimonâŚâ you whisper, anxiously picking at a string on your cotton shorts, âI wasnât going hungry, I have likeâŚramen and stuffâŚâ
He says your name through gritted teeth, letting out a frustrated sigh, âWhy didnât you tell me that you couldnât afford proper groceries?â
âI didnât want to bother you with it, Si,â you mutter, âI-Itâs my problem, not yours.â
He gives you a long, unblinking stare. His usual soft, puppy dog brown eyes now felt intimidating. One thing about Simon was that he never hid it when he was clearly upset with you. And knowing he was right now made you hang your head pitifully.
He moves suddenly, tugging his wallet out of his back pocket, pulling out a small stack of clean bills, slapping them on your countertop.
âSimon, noââ you attempt to reach out for them, willing him to take the money back.
He grabs your hand immediately, shoving the appendage away from the money, âYouâll take this and youâll go to the store tomorrow and get some damn food or Iâm going to go to the bar and wrap my fuckinâ hands around your bossâs throat until he coughs up your money.â
âYou donât have to do this, Simon!â you argue, exasperated, âY-You donât have to take care of me like this.â
âYes, I fuckinâ do!â he counters, âYouâre my responsibility and I���m not going to let you exist on fuckinâ cup noodles until that shithead pays you properly, not when I can take care of you. Now stop arguing and put this in your wallet now.â
He used that damn Lieutenant voice, leaving no room for argument. You bit your lip and slowly picked up the bills from the counter.
âThank you, SimonâŚâ you whisper, clutching the money close to your chest as you offer him a wobbly smile.
âShut up and go,â he huffs, though his voice is much softer and affectionate now.Â
You turn on your heel and go to the table by the door, slowly taking the time to place the money safely inside. You felt tears pricking at your eyes. You were so, so lucky to have someone in your life that did everything in his power to take care of you, to look after you and make sure you had food on the table. No one had ever cared about your well-being the way Simon did, and your heart felt incredibly full because of it.Â
You could hear him still stalking around the kitchen, grumbling to himself in annoyance. He comes out of the kitchen, phone in hand, before heâs taking a seat on your old, creaky couch. His knee is bouncing up and down in that way it always does. Itâs like heâs always a live wire, ready and waiting for something to happen.
âIs something wrong?â you ask, still standing by the table.
He grunts, shaking his head, âOrderin' dinner.â
âOh,â you mumble, âWhatâre you getting?â
âGettinâ from that breakfast diner you like,â he responds quickly, not looking up from his phone.Â
âYou donât even like that place,â you giggle, âIn the mood for a breakfast sandwich?â
âNot for me,â was his clipped response.
âWhat?â you whine, âSimon, donât order me food!â
âDid you eat today?â he asks quickly, placing his phone on the table, clearly done with the order.
âI had cup noodles!â you point an accusing finger at him, âSo yes!â
âThatâs not real food,â he leans against the back of the couch, closing his eyes with his arms crossed over his chest. End of conversation.Â
You sigh, shaking your head. You debate continuing to pester him about it but you hear your washing machine begin to ring the jingle signaling the cycle is finished. You cast one last, unseen glare to the man on your couch before heading to the washer, methodically taking the now clean sheets out.Â
You finish placing it in the dryer and turning the machine on, stepping back into the living room when thereâs a knock on the door. Simon is on his feet in seconds and at the door before you can even react. When he slams the door shut, he holds the bag of food up for you to see, dropping it on the coffee table before taking a seat again. He resumes the same position, arms cross over his chest and eyes closed.Â
âAre you tired?â you ask softly, taking the empty seat beside him. He hums in response, âYou want to spend the night?â
âGuess so,â he responds after a few seconds, âYou work tomorrow?â
âTomorrow night,â you mumble, reaching for the bag of food, untying the knot so you can get inside, âI hate working Friday nights.â
âI can stop by tomorrow if you want,â he offers, finally opening his eyes.
You think it over for a minute. It wouldnât be the first time he sat in the bar on a busy Friday night, nursing a half-drunk bourbon, as he waited for you to get off, âI think itâll be okay. Last week was fine.â
He simply stares at you in silence before sighing through his nose. But he doesnât argue and youâre thankful for that.Â
Simonâs been looking after you like this since you turned 18 and moved out on your own. There have been many, many days and nights that youâve taken up his time and energy and as you grew older, you tried to do it less. He had an incredibly busy job and life and the last thing you wanted was to add weight onto his already heavy shoulders.Â
The evening turned to night and before you knew it you had a full belly and leftovers to store in the fridge for breakfast. You folded your dried sheet and placed it in the hallway closet, acutely aware of the sound of Simon showering in your bathroom.Â
It wasnât a very big shower and you sometimes wondered what it looked like for him in there. Surely he had to hunch down to properly wash his hair and shoulders. But those thoughts always turned into something less than innocent.Â
You imagined what he looked like, all wet. How big he surely looked in there, no doubt he would dwarf you. He would be able to easily crowd you in the corner, make it so you couldn't escape as he blocked the exit â not that you would want to escape.Â
You slapped a hand against your forehead, shaking your head violently to rid yourself of those thoughts. You tugged a spare blanket out of the closet and slammed it closed, rushing to your bedroom to place it on your bed.Â
Your cheeks burned with shame over having such unsavory thoughts about your best friend. As much as you liked to pretend that the crush you had on him when you were children had faded like typical puppy love, you knew your feelings were alive and well deep inside where you had pushed them when he rejected you when you were 14.Â
It was just because you were so pent up, you convinced yourself, you would have those thoughts about any man that was inside your shower!
You crawled onto your side of the bed, flopping back into your pillow as you waited for him to come in. You completely ignored the throbbing between your thighs, a feeling you were more than used to by now. But your fingers itched to reach down, slip beneath the band of your shorts and touch your clit, the little bud throbbed so desperately that when you clenched your thighs together, a shiver would go down your spine.Â
Just as you started to reach down, just to try and relieve the ache that settled there, the bathroom door opened. You yanked your hand back up and tried to look casual as you heard his heavy footsteps move towards the bedroom door.
He pushed the door open wider so he could come in, having to duck his head down to avoid hitting his head. He placed his towel in the laundry basket and slowly crawled into bed beside you, placing his pillow flat so he could comfortably lay down.
Some people may find it strange sleeping with him like this, but your couch was much too small for him and he would rather cut his own fingers off than make you sleep on the damned thing. It was old and so uncomfortable that it caused you to be sore if you sat on it for too long. Plus, you never felt uncomfortable having him in the bed with you like this. He was warm and safe and he always smelled like your grapefruit body wash after he showered.Â
It made your heart thump in your chest, knowing he walked around the next day smelling like you.Â
âGoodnight, Simon,â you mumbled, reaching over to turn your bedside lamp off.
He grunted quietly, rolling over so his back was facing you. You smiled in the dark and snuggled down into your own blanket, closing your eyes as well.Â
The next morning, you woke up and the bed was empty. As usual.Â
Even when he was home, Simon functioned off of the strict military schedule heâd been accustomed to for his many years in the military. You sat up and stretched your arms above your head, tossing your blanket off of you. The floor was chilly against your bare feet, making you shiver.Â
After going pee, you ventured out into the living room. Simon was lounging, quietly watching TV â the morning news, it seemed.
âGood morning,â you called.Â
âEat,â was all he replied, not even breaking his gaze off of the TV.
You purse your lips but do as youâre told â not because he said so, but because your stomach was painfully growling and the breakfast sandwich in the fridge sounded delicious.Â
As you heated it up in the microwave, you hummed to yourself.
âIâm going to go to the store after I eat,â you called, âDo you want to come?â
âNah,â he grunted, âGotta go soon.â
âOh,â you tried to hide your disappointment, âWill you be back tonight?â
âProbably not,â he responded, your disappointment only growing at that.Â
The microwave beeped and you pulled your plate of food out, bringing it back to the living room to eat it beside him. He took up an absurd amount of space given how large he was and how small your couch was â but you didnât mind being pressed up against him. You didnât think he minded either because he never bothered to move away.Â
You quietly ate your breakfast, finishing up just as the news segment ended. Simon stood, knees popping as he did, patting his pockets to make sure he had his keys and wallet before pausing, looking around.Â
âYou leaving?â you ask, placing your plate on the table as you followed his lead, standing.
âGot to,â he mumbled, still glancing around, âWhereâs my phone?â
âYou leave it in the bedroom?â you offer.
He sighs and disappears down the hall for a split minute before returning, tucking the device into his pocket. He grabs his coat off the table by the door, slipping it on and zipping it up. You approach him by the door, watching him slip his boots on and tie them.Â
âSee you later, Si,â you say, trying your best to hide your disappointment at him leaving.Â
You never wanted him to leave, always feeling painfully lonely without his presence in your home. Since he was gone for long periods so often, you liked to enjoy his company as much as you can when heâs home. But you would never be the type to ask him to stay when he couldnât because you knew he would run himself ragged to keep you company even when he was exhausted and had other things to do on top of it. You never wanted to be a burden to him.
He straightens up, stomping his feet a couple times to make sure his boots were on fine. He wraps an arm around your shoulder, pulling you against his chest. You wrap both arms around his middle and hug him tight.
âIâll come by when I can,â he mutters, pulling back to press a kiss to your forehead.
Then heâs gone, the door slamming closed and leaving you by yourself in the doorway, already feeling an emptiness that would remain until he returned.Â
Just as you promised, you went out and bought groceries, courtesy of the money Simon had so kindly given you. You made sure you had some meat, fruit, and veggies, along with some canned goods. You made sure you didnât buy cup noodles because he certainly wouldnât be thrilled to know you bought that since he was so vehemently against them being in your diet.Â
When you got home, you put all the groceries away and quickly realized that you had some time to spare before you had to get ready for your shift at the bar.Â
As you sit on the couch, mindlessly watching some random show youâve seen a hundred times before, you suddenly realize youâre squeezing your thighs together.Â
And your panties are feeling awfully sticky.Â
Your body heats up as you find yourself cupping your breasts through your shirt and bra. But you quickly realize thatâs doing nothing for you and you strip your shirt off, pulling the sports bra over your breasts to cup them without the fabric restriction. You sigh and relax into the couch as you pull and pinch your nipple, tugging them and rolling them beneath your fingers. Your thighs clench and rub together as you tease yourself.Â
But you tire of that quickly, knowing you could do something that felt so much better.Â
Your fingers tremble as you tug the button of your jeans open and kick them off, letting your panties go down with them. You take note of the fact the center is completely sticky and wet. God, how long had you been dripping into your panties like that?
You lean back on the couch, placing your feet on the cushions, letting your legs open nice and wide. Your folds flower open, embarrassingly wet and shiny. Your clit is hard and swollen between them and you can practically see the bud twitching.Â
With two, shaky fingers, you reach down and swipe over the bud. Your entire body twitches at the contact and you sigh as you slowly circle it, using your own slick as lubrication.Â
You bring a finger to your entrance, prodding at the stickiness there. Itâs embarrassing how wet you are. Your pussy makes loud noises as you touch but it doesnât really provide you much pleasure so you bring your finger back to your clit.Â
You circle it, pinch it, and roll your fingers over it. Youâre quietly moaning, lidded eyes hazy as you watch your fingers play between your thighs. It feels good, a warm feeling settling in your gut the more you touch yourself.Â
But then the inevitable happens â itâs like you hit a wall.Â
You whine in frustration, speeding up your movements to hopefully reach the edge that you know is right over the wall. But you donât get any further, if anything you feel that warmth vanishing at an alarming rate.Â
Tears sting your eyes, âNo, no, noâŚâ you beg no one.
You grit your teeth in frustration, yanking your hand away to watch your pussy clench and throb over nothing, drooling and dripping slick onto the couch. But youâre too frustrated to try anymore.Â
You close your thighs and flop down onto the couch, letting a few tears escape.
âWhat the fuck is wrong with me?â you quietly complain, slapping the couch out of frustration.
Your lamenting is interrupted by your phone going off. You look at it on the table and see it's the alarm you set to let you know to start getting ready.Â
Great, you spent 45 minutes playing with yourself and still didnât get any further than you had for the last 20-something years of your life.Â
You were starting to think you should schedule an appointment with a doctor and find out if you were well and truly broken, but quickly decided against it. That would be fucking humiliating.
What would you say, âHi, I canât make myself orgasm and never have, please doctor, tell me if my vagina is broken?â Absolutely not.Â
You collect your clothes from the living room floor and toss them in your laundry basket in your room before you take a very fast shower just to clean your own mess up. Then, you get dressed and ready for the shift you know is going to suck at the bar.Â
At the door, you make sure you have your belongings. You turn out all your lights and lock the door behind you before setting off to the bar.Â
Itâs not a long walk, about 15 minutes away. But just the idea of stepping foot inside the bar fills you with dread.Â
It was a little hole in the wall place, shady and seedy were the best ways to describe it. You got pretty good tips from the patrons most nights but your boss was the biggest piece of shit youâd ever had the misfortune of being in close proximity with.Â
He had a very bad habit of putting his hands where they didnât belong and cutting his employeeâs pay for no reason â or reasons he completely made up. Your last paycheck was short because he claims that you âgot enough in tips to make up the lossâ â you didnât. And when you argued, he threatened to fire you.Â
You were already living in the cheapest flat you could afford; it was run-down and poorly maintained. But it was better than not having a roof over your head. And it was a fight to even get hired at the shitty bar you worked at now, you werenât willing to go back to looking for work.Â
So you simply bit your tongue and took what money you could get. It wasnât the first time he did it and you were sure it wouldnât be the last.Â
You got to work as soon as you clocked in, greeting your coworkers with a tense smile that they returned. Everyone was in the same boat as you, after all. No one would choose to work here unless they were down on their luck like you.
The night started slow, slower than usual for a Friday night. Despite the place looking like it was going to fall down around you and the occasional rat that scampered across the floor, the bar was actually kind of a hotspot. The alcohol was cheap and your boss never cut anyone off so patrons were free to get as sloshed as they wanted.Â
That also meant the customers tended to get rather unruly.Â
Which is exactly what happened when the night inevitably picked up. More people came in, more drinks were ordered, and you were running around the place like mad to get drinks where they needed to be.Â
You cast a glance to the clock behind the bar, sighing in relief when you realized you had 10 minutes left of this hell.Â
You were sure you were a sight, clearly run ragged and ready to get the hell out of there and go home. Your feet were sore from the old, worn shoes you wore. They looked fine on the outside, cute, but the soles were worn down and provided absolutely no cushion. It was hell.Â
âThis goes to the corner table,â the bartender called over the loud voices of the bar. He was a nice guy, couldnât be older than 20, but you honestly couldnât even recall his name.Â
You took the tray of shitty beer from the counter and quickly made your way to the corner table in the back, careful not to spill a drop. You placed the tray down and gave the guys at the table a charming smile.
âHereâs your drinks,â you said, placing a glass in front of all 4 of them.Â
âThanks, beautiful,â one of them slurred, given a drunken wink.
âUm, is there anything else you need?â you asked, ignoring his flirting, as you picked up the tray.Â
âMaybe,â another one chuckled, leaning back in his seat, raking his eyes down your body. You wished you could crawl into a hole at the feeling of his gaze on you. Despite being fully clothed, it made you feel incredibly naked â like he could see through your clothes.Â
It certainly wasnât the first time a customer or two flirted with you. It was sort of a rampant problem in this bar, if you were honest.
âWhat is it you need?â you asked, wishing so badly you could just be free from the conversation.Â
One of them pulled out a stack of money, waving it in front of your face, âIâll tip you this if you show us your tits.â
Your cheeks burned hot in humiliation as the other three laughed and jeered. You shifted on your feet, tapping your fingers anxiously against the metal tray in your hands, envisioning yourself slamming it over their heads.Â
âN-No thank youâŚI-I donât think that would be appropriate,â you hope that they canât hear the way your voice trembles over all the noise in the bar.
âCome on, sexy,â the one with the money grinned, licking over his teeth as his eyes narrowed on your chest, âBet theyâre real nice. Câmon, you need the money right? Why else would you be working at a place like this? Go on, just lift your shirt up and let us see them tits!â
âM-My shift is over, I really need to go,â you shakily smile and take a step back, âI-I hope you enjoy your night, boys.â
Your attempt to diffuse the situation and get out of it proved futile because when you attempted to flee, one of them clapped a firm hand around your wrist and tugged you forward. You stumbled on your feet, dropping the metal tray with a gasp, finding yourself nose to nose with one of them. The smell of alcohol was potent on his breath and it made your lip curl in disgust. You tried to tug yourself free of his grasp but his grip was too strong.Â
The guy sitting on the other side of the one who had a hold on you reached over his buddy to yank the neckline of your shirt down, the cheap, worn material stretching with ease until it tore at the weakest point. You let out a horrified cry when your bra became visible to the group, all of them cheering and shouting degrading things right in your face.Â
The one across the table reached down, you felt his hand against your breast through your bra and a lightning bolt of pure terror ripped through you. It was like everything happened in slow motion.
You could feel his thumb hook under your bra and start to tug, tears flooded your eyes and dripped down your cheeks. You raised a hand and as hard as you could, slapped the one still holding you clean across the face.Â
The entire table went still but his grasp loosened enough for you to turn on your heel and bolt as fast as you could into the staff room, covering your exposed bra with your arms as best you could. You passed one of your coworkers, her eyes wide in concern when she saw your state.Â
She followed you into the staff room, closing the door quietly behind her. You stood in front of your locker, ripping it open as you attempted to collect your things but your mind was running too fast for you to actually make any meaningful movements.
Your coworker called your name and you paused.
âHey, take a breath,â she whispered softly, placing a hand on your back. You realized you were hyperventilating. You attempted to level out your breathing, wiping the tears off of your cheeks only for more to replace them.Â
âWhat happened?â she asked softly, âDo you want me to call someone? The police?â
You shake your head, opening your mouth to respond but only a little sob comes out. You couldnât even find it in yourself to be embarrassed. She looks nothing but sympathetic, softly patting your back and encouraging you to breathe deeply.Â
The staff room door suddenly slams open, making both of you jump. Your boss storms in, completely red in the face and furious.Â
âGet out,â he snaps at your coworker.Â
She casts an apologetic look to you, squeezing your hand before she ducks her head and leaves the staff room. He slams the door behind her, locking it for good measure â leaving both of you alone.Â
He advances on you faster than you can react, he wraps a hand around your throat and slams you against the lockers. It hurts but you canât get a noise past the grip around your neck. You blink back the tears that are still coming, trying to see him more clearly.
âAre you broke in the fuckinâ head?!â he screams, a volume that makes your ears ring. You wonder if the patrons can hear it outside, âYou put your hands on a customer?!â
âTh-They put their hands on me first!â you defended yourself, hoarse and choked under his grip, âThey touched me!â
He only looks more furious, eyes falling to your ripped shirt and exposed bra. He grabs one side of the already torn shirt and yanks, ripping it the rest of the way. Your eyes go wide and your first instinct is to kick him but youâre panicked and uncoordinated so it misses its mark.
âI donât give a shit if they forced you over the table and fucked you!â he howls, spitting all over your face in his rage, âYou better think fast and hard about how youâre going to rectify this. Do you understand me?â
His grip tightens a bit more around your throat and you hastily nod, blubbering mindless apologies to try and appease him. He doesnât look any less angry but lets you go nonetheless. Your knees are too shaky to hold you up so you slide down the lockers until youâre sitting on the dirty floor.
âYou go out there and you apologize to them,â he hisses through clenched teeth, âOr Iâm going to fire you and youâre gonna be out on the fuckinâ streets, got it?â
You nod your head, holding back your sobs but canât control the tears that fall down your cheeks. He sends you one last glare before turning back to the door, unlocking it and throwing it open.Â
Youâre left there, trembling on the floor and quietly crying to yourself. Your heart is racing and youâve never felt more terrified and humiliated in your life.
The door opens again and you look up in horror at the idea of your boss coming back. But itâs your coworker again.Â
She quietly crouches next to you and gives you a once over, âAre you okay? Did he hurt you?â
âI-I have to apologize t-to them,â you manage to choke out.Â
Her eyes widened, âNo way! You didnât do anything wrong!â
âI canât lose this job,â you sob, pressing the heel of your hands to your eyes as you cry, âI need this job. He says heâll fire me if I donât apologize!â
âOkay,â she whispers, âIâll go with you, okay? You can apologize and then you can go, thatâs it.â
You nod your head and stand up, using the lockers as a crutch. Your coworker helps you steady yourself before she sees your shirt is ripped even more than when she left.
She whispers your name, âAre you sure he didnâtâŚâ
âHe only ripped it,â you assure her, sniffling softly, âBut I canât go out there like this.â
It dawns on you that you forgot a jacket. It was a little warmer today than it had been in days and you had simply neglected to bring one.Â
âYou can borrow my hoodie,â she assures, opening her locker to tug it out, handing it to you, âGo on, you can return it to me another day.â
âThank you,â you whisper, clumsily sliding it over your head. You feel much better now that youâre covered up, you feel less vulnerable. You quickly collect all your belongings so you can leave as soon as you get this over with.
You let her lead you out of the staff room. The second youâre out, the blaring noise immediately proves to be too much. You wipe your eyes, using the sleeve of the hoodie. You make a note to wash it properly when you return it.Â
You feel the eyes of strangers on you and it just makes you feel worse with every passing second. You want to go home. You want to shower. You want to crawl into bed. You want Simon.Â
You let her lead you to the table, all the men are still there laughing and drinking their beers. They fall silent when you approach, four pairs of eyes falling on you, making you feel humiliated and small. They look expectant, the one who ripped your shirt tapping his fingers against the table.Â
âThere you are!â the one who had held your wrist grinned. It was a predatory smile that made your heart race anxiously, âThought you were gonna run away without apologizing for beinâ a raging bitch.â
You flinch at the insult and your coworker squeezes your hand in support, âI-Iâm sorry for slapping you.â
âThatâs fuckinâ right!â another one jeered, âPractically ruined our night. How are you going to make it up to us?â
âIâve got a few ideas!â a different once laughed. The other three joined in eagerly.
âHow about you stay back late and really make it up to us, huh?â you squeezed your coworkers hand in yours, already feeling the tears returning with a vengeance.
âHow about I bring you a round on me, huh?â she quickly intervenes, âIâll buy.â
That seems to do it for the 4 men and they rambunctiously cheer and slam their hands on the table obnoxiously. You think you hear her promise to be back with their drinks as she pulls you away from the table. You both hide away in the staff room again and she holds both your hands in hers.
âGo on home,â she says softly.
âI-Iâll pay you back for the drinksââ she shushes you quickly when you start.
âDonât even worry about it,â she coos, âGo home.â
With a gentle nudge to the back entrance, she casts you one last kind smile before slipping out of the staff door.Â
You donât even remember the walk home, your mind completely fuzzy. But youâre sobbing again by the time you stumble into the door. You collapse onto the floor in front of your couch, wailing into the cushions as the weight of the night fully and entirely collapses on you. You can barely breathe through your tears, hiccups and coughs breaking up the endless crying only to resume when you catch your breath.Â
You have no idea how long you sit there, crying louder and harder than you have in a very, very long time.Â
You hear your front door creak open before the living room light flips on. You go completely stiff, your crying finally going silent as you hear the familiar heavy footsteps step into the living room before they fall still when he sees you.
He calls your name, soft and gentle in a way that is completely unlike him. Simon isnât soft, he talks to you in a cold, apathetic and teasing tone. Heâs always clipped and blunt. Sure, heâs kind but never gentle.
Just the sweet tone makes your lips wobble and suddenly youâre sobbing again. His boots hit the floor fast, taking quick, big strides so he can reach you as fast as he possibly can. Two strong hands hook under your arms and turn you towards him. He takes a seat beside you on the floor and tugs you into lap.
You melt into his chest, secured by his embrace as he holds you. One hand cups the back of your head and the other wraps around your back.Â
âYou didnât answer your phone when I called,â he explained his arrival, lips pressed to the crown of your head, âGot worried so I rushed over.â
You grip his hoodie in your hands, anchoring yourself to him as you cry and cry. He remains silent, content to hold you and let you cry out everything youâre feeling.Â
Just having him there, holding you and comforting you, is enough to ease your tears until youâre just a hiccuping, sniffling mess. Youâre taking those quick, stuttering gasping breaths that signify the end of your meltdown and Simon slowly eases his hold on you.Â
He cups your cheek in one hand, raising your head up so he can really look at you. He rubs a thumb under your eye, wiping away your tears. He looks so concerned, brows furrowed and a frown on his lips.Â
The sight of his face makes your lips wobble again, âSiâŚâ you finally manage to choke out.
His gaze softens immediately, his other hand coming up to cup your face as well. He leans forward and presses a lingering kiss against your forehead.
âYou want to tell me what happened?â he finally asks, letting go of your face to hold your waist, keeping you curled up in his lap.Â
You think about it. You want to tell him all about it, to get it off of your chest and figure out how the hell youâre supposed to move past it. But you know that if you tell him, heâs going to march his ass to your job the second he gets a chance and put your bossâs head through the wall and find those assholes from the table.Â
You really canât afford to lose your job. Your bills are tight enough as it is, youâre scraping by by the skin of your teeth. If youâre jobless for even a week, itâs going to fuck everything up. Youâll never make rent and you canât end up on the street.Â
âJust aâŚbad shiftâŚâ you supply lamely.
Simon stares at you, jaw set and tense, âI donât know whatâs worse. The fact youâre lying in the first place or the fact you donât think you can tell me what really happened.â
âSimonâŚâ you whine, pushing yourself off of his lap, âJust let it go, please.â
He follows your lead when you stand up. He still hasnât taken his boots off, still too concerned about you to care. Every step he takes is a loud sound of his weight in those boots.Â
You pace back and forth, arms crossed over your chest.
âIâm not letting it go,â he responds, âI think you know me better than that.â
âSimon, please!â you feel the tears returning again and you suddenly realize how tired you are from crying. Your eyes are sore and you just want to sleep.Â
âI want to know what happened,â he argues, clearly growing exasperated.Â
You know heâs not going to let it go. He knows you too well to believe any lies. You press your hands to your face and let out a noise of frustration and despair. You can feel his eyes on you, unwavering and firm. You feel hot, like youâre overheating and suffocated. With trembling hands, you haphazardly tug at the hoodie â you need it off or youâre going to go mad.Â
Simon reaches forward to help you, watching your rising panic but you slap his hands away. He looks stupefied at your reaction but retracts his hands.Â
But you canât get the damned thing off, youâre uncoordinated and clumsy, unable to pull your arms through the sleeves so you can get it off. Why wonât it come off?Â
âG-Get it off,â you finally cry, completely unaware of the pure horror in your voice.
Simonâs hands are back, âIâve got you. Iâll get it off ya.âÂ
True to his word, he tugs it up and it slips over your head with ease. You feel like you can take a deep breath finally, feeling the cool air of your living room against your skin again. Your chest rises and falls rapidly as you attempt to calm yourself.Â
He says your name softly but you canât bring yourself to open your eyes. You jump when you feel the ghost of his fingers against your stomach â the skin is bare and it makes your eyes fly open. You look down and remember that your shirt was completely torn open, the hoodie had been hiding it, and now Simon is seeing. You can see the realization in his face.
Heâs not an idiot. If anything, heâs more intelligent than anyone youâve ever known.Â
Suddenly your stomach turns and you place a hand over your mouth. Youâre running down the hallway, dropping to your knees in front of the toilet as you heave.Â
You donât hear any movement from Simon. He doesnât follow you to the bathroom. Youâre briefly thankful for the escape as the nausea disappears before you suddenly crave to have him near you again.
âSimon!â you cry, his footfalls an immediate response.Â
He crouches beside you, placing a hand on your back, âYou finished?â
You nod, spitting one last time into the toilet, âI-I want to shower.â
Heâs quiet for a moment before he stands, stepping past you to turn on the shower for you. He places a consoling hand on the top of your head in passing before he goes to leave you alone. You reach out and grab his hand before he can get too far.
He pauses and looks at you, easily understanding. He brushes his thumb over your hand, âNot goinâ anywhere, love.â
He takes a step outside of the bathroom and stands there, hands held in front of him as if he were on guard, like a security guard. You flush the toilet and shakily strip your clothes off before stepping into the shower, letting the warm spray ease your sore body and clear your sinuses. Youâre terribly stuffy from crying so you canât even smell your grapefruit body wash this time.
You finish your shower, making sure you scrub your body as best you can before you step out and wrap a towel around your body.
âAre you hungry?â Simon suddenly asks.
âNoâŚâ your tone is flatter than you had intended and you realize that youâre completely emotionally drained.Â
âAlright,â is all he says in reply.
You approach the door, where heâs still standing. You place your hand against his back and he quickly steps aside to let you by. You hear his boots behind you as he follows you to your bedroom.Â
You sit on the bed, completely exhausted. Simon makes himself busy with going through your dresser, pulling out some clothes for you to wear before he places them on the bed beside you. You donât make any movements.Â
He sighs, softly saying your name before crouching in front of you, taking your hands in his.Â
âWas it your boss?â he asks softly.Â
âHim and some assholes I was serving drinks to,â you tiredly answer. You donât have it in you to fight in anymore.Â
âWhy didnât you want to tell me?â he pries, squeezing your hands.
âBecause I know you, Si,â you sniffle, âYouâre going to go down there and put them all in the hospital when you find them.â
âAnd?â he scoffs, âThey fuckinâ deserve it. No one gets to put their hands on you like that and get away with it.â
âBecause I canât lose my job, Si!â you finally cry, âI barely make ends meet as it is! I-If I lose my job, what am I supposed to do? I wonât be able to afford rent. Iâll be on the streets!â
âI would never let that happen,â he says firmly, âYou will never be on the streets, love. I will always take care of you, you know that.â
âI canât do that to you, Simon,â you mutter, sniffling again, âY-You already have so much on your plate I donât want to be another problem you have to deal with.â
âIs that what you think?â he scoffs, standing up, âThat I deal with you? Youâre important to me, I take care of you because I never want anything to happen to you. Iâm not going to let you work at that shithole for a minute longer.â
You hang your head, unable to supply any arguments to him anymore.
âIâm going to make you something small to eat. Youâre going to eat and drink some water and then youâre going to get some rest, understood?â he gives a satisfied hum when you nod your head in compliance.Â
Once youâre alone, you go over his words again. Youâre important to him, thatâs what he said. It was the most clear he had ever been with his feelings towards you since you confessed your feelings when you were young.Â
As you methodically got dressed in the clothes he picked out for you, you reminisced. Memories of him were always something that made you inexplicably happy â except for one memory.
You were 14 and he was 17 at the time. Youâd known each other for your entire childhood after his mother had brought him over for a playdate despite the age difference and the fact you were closer in age to his brother.Â
He had always looked after you and taken care of you, walking you home after school and simply looking after you when your parents were busy. It was inevitable that you would grow feelings for him. You remember the way your heart would race every time you looked at him. You remember telling your friends that he was your boyfriend, hoping he wouldnât find out.
You had told him one evening when he was hanging out, having dinner with your family, that you liked him â like liked.Â
You remember how you cried into your pillow night after night when he rejected you. Told you flat out that you were an idiot and to drop it and never, ever bring it up again. That he didnât feel the same. And that was that.Â
You never brought it up again.Â
But the crush never once waned. You decided that his friendship was more important than your feelings for him so you would never let him know. And thatâs how it had been ever since.Â
Simonâs voice calling your name ripped you from your reminiscing. You tied the drawstrings of the sweats he had picked out and quickly made your way to the kitchen.Â
Simon was washing a pan by the time you arrived but he nodded to a plate he set on the counter for you. It was just a small omelet he made, complete with a light drizzle of ketchup.Â
He knew you well, you couldnât deny. You picked up the fork heâd placed on the plate for you and slowly began to eat.Â
After being sick, your stomach was painfully empty so you were happy to have something on it once again. Simon quietly finished washing the dishes he had dirtied before he placed them on the dish rack and dried his hands.Â
âUm, Simon?â you called softly, receiving a grunt in reply, âDidnât you have something going on tonight?â
âWas gonna be out the lads,â he responded, âDoesnât matter, can hang out with those idiots anytime.â
âYou shouldnât talk about your friends like that,â you said, shaking your head as you took a final bite of your omelet.
âAint my friends,â he reached down and took your plate from you, tossing it into the sink.
âSimon Riley doesnât have friends?â you asked, eyes following him as he locked up your apartment and started to turn out the lights.
âGot you,â he said as you followed him down the hall, âAll I need.â
A fond smile made its way across your face as he yanked his shirt above his head. You began to make yourself comfortable in bed, trying to keep your eyes off of him as he got dressed for bed. Despite the way you wanted to take the chance to look at him.
Friends. Thatâs what you were, you reminded yourself.Â
Finally, he climbed into bed beside you, making himself comfortable before you turned out the light.Â
Yet, despite your exhaustion from the night, you felt like you couldnât close your eyes. You felt like you couldnât relax. The tension in your body was so much that you were sore. Like you had gone to the gym instead of went to work.Â
âSimon..?â you whispered into the dark. He was silent for a second before he hummed in response, âCan IâŚtell you what happened tonight?â
He was quiet again but you felt him move, a hand blindly reaching over to you to find your hands. You took it in both of yours, nervously fidgeting with his fingers.Â
âThis stupid group of guys were sloshed beyond belief,â you began to tell him, aware of his gaze on you through the dark, âThey were just chattinâ shit, saying theyâd tip me if I showed them my tits,â he scoffed beside you, clearly displeased, âI said no and tried to leave and they wouldnât let me. One of them ripped my shirt and tried to pull my bra up so I slapped him.â
âFuckinâ bastard deserved to get his teeth knocked down his throat,â Simon growled from beside you.
âI got away and went to the staff room but my boss came in and he was so fucking angry, Si,â your voice shook as you remembered the way his face had been so red and a look of pure hate had been in his eyes, âHe grabbed my throat and pinned against the lockers. He was angry that I had struck a customer.â
âOf course thatâs all that bastard would be angry about,â Simon spit, not bothering to hide his distaste.
âI tried to tell him that I was defending myself but he saidââ your voice broke and you struggled to blink back the tears. Simon sat up a bit, pulling you into his chest, letting you curl against him, the rapid hum of his heart loud in your ear, easing you immediately, âHe said that he didnât care if they put me over the table and fucked me, he would fire me if I didnât apologize to them.â
Simonâs arms tightened around you immediately, cursing under his breath, âHe made you apologize to them?âÂ
You nod your head, âIt was so humiliating, Si. B-But I just didnât want to lose my job. They just laughed at me and made a joke of it.â
âPieces of shit,â he hisses, pressing a kiss against your temple, âThey better hope I donât find them.â
Youâd really love to see them blubbering on their knees, crying and terrified like you had been. They wouldnât be so awful in the face of a guy bigger and stronger than them â someone like Simon.Â
âI should have gone to the bar tonight,â he sighed, âEven though you told me not to, I wanted to.â
âItâs okay, Si,â you sniffle, âIâm just glad youâre here now.â
You wrap your leg around his waist and snuggle deeper into his chest, finally feeling content to sleep so long as you got to be in his arms.Â
You wake up late, well into the afternoon. Youâre groggy and struggle to pull yourself out of bed. Simon isnât in bed, so you force yourself up in search of him.Â
As you left, you noticed that the clothes you were wearing last night were gone and werenât in the laundry basket. You knew for a fact that you left them on the floor.Â
Heâs relaxing on the couch as usual. His hair is wet and you can smell your body wash wafting off of him when you crawl onto the couch beside him. He reaches a hand out and pets your head gently as a greeting.
âSleep well?â he asks. You nod your head, âHungry?â You nod again.
He huffs through his nose and stands up, pressing a fleeting kiss to the top of your head to go prepare something for you to eat. The sound of Simon bustling about the kitchen filled the apartment and you found yourself relaxing into the couch.Â
âSimon?â you called, getting to your feet to make your way to the kitchen.Â
He had his back to you as he fried up something in the pan but he hummed in response nonetheless.
âWhere did my clothes from last night go?â you ask softly.
He pauses his stirring of the food, âThrew them out. Figured you wouldnât want to see them when you woke up.â
âOh,â you respond.Â
Your heart feels full at his show of care. It was quiet actions like that that just made you feel soâŚin love, you think before correcting yourself. Fluttery. Cared for. Loved.Â
No, he doesnât love you.
You shake your head and move to the fridge to pull out a bottle of water, going to sit on the couch to wait for Simon to finish cooking.Â
The day was spent like that, just you and Simon in your flat. Him just keeping you company and keeping your mind off of things.Â
You were curled up against him, listening to the beating of his heart and watching the movie he had decided to play. It was peaceful. He smelled nice, like you. And he was so comfortable beneath you, firm and big.Â
His thighs were spread wide, one of your legs thrown over one of his, only serving to make you more aware of how big and firm he was. Solid. Well-built.Â
Handsome.
You cast a glance at his face. His brown eyes were half-lidded as he mindlessly nibbled at his bottom lip. They looked soft and shiny. You wondered what he tasted like, how he kissed.
Was he rough? Soft? Did he like to use tongue.Â
Youâd never kissed anyone before. You wondered if he would be okay with that. You knew some guys liked experienced partners and some liked them inexperienced. You wonder what he preferred.Â
Just the idea of kissing him had your heart hammering in your chest and your face burning. You quickly looked at the TV, snuggling closer to him. He squeezed you closer, hand mindlessly rubbing up and down your back.Â
Kissing SimonâŚyou pictured him over you, cupping your cheeks in the way he always does. You imagine him pressing his pretty lips against yours, moving them softly against yours. You imagine what it would feel like for him to pin you down, sliding his tongue into your mouth as you moaned and whimpered beneath him, unable to move anywhere because heâs so much bigger and stronger than you. In charge.Â
Your pussy clenches around nothing, already starting to drip into your panties. Suddenly you sit up, eyes wide and cheeks flush. Simon looks perturbed, an eyebrow raised at your sudden movement.
âIâve got to take a shower,â you shakily supply before fleeing to the safety of the bathroom.
You look at yourself in the mirror, hand over your mouth to quiet your heavy breathing.Â
What the hell was wrong with you? How the hell could you be thinking about sex and getting turned on after yesterday? How could you be thinking about Simon like that when he was right there? What the fuck was your problem?
You hastily reached over and turned the shower on, the pipes clanking loudly as the water flowed through them.Â
Shouldnât you be the opposite of horny after what happened yesterday? Maybe you really were broken.Â
You strip and quickly step into the shower, turning the water as hot as it would possibly go. You needed it to hurt so you would stop acting like such a freak. Like a slut.Â
You fight back tears as you begin to wash up.Â
By the time your shower is done, youâre exhausted again. You dry off and wrap the towel around yourself, opening the door to find Simon standing on the other side. You jump and gasp, placing a hand over your heart to calm the beating.
âYou scared me!â you whine, slipping past him to the bedroom.
âWanted to check on you,â he says, following slowly behind you, watching as you pick out clothes.
âIâm fine,â you assure him, âI just got really tired and Iâd like to turn in early, thatâs all.â
âAlright,â he replies, standing there for a second before making his way back to the door, âJust call if you need anything.â
âI will!â you offer him a smile, watching as he leaves, closing the door behind him.Â
You quickly dress and climb into bed, turning the lights out before squeezing your eyes shut to will yourself to sleep. Surprisingly, it came quickly and easily â maybe you were more tired than you thought.Â
Little did you know that Simon took the opportunity of you sleeping early to slip away and take a little 15 minute walk.Â
When you start to dream, youâre acutely aware that itâs a dream. Youâre not sure how but, you just know that youâre sleeping and none of this is real.
But god it feels real and you want it to be real so you go along with it.Â
Simon is there, youâre both in your bed. Heâs got his shirt off and heâs on top of you, kissing your neck softly. Sweetly.Â
He doesnât smell like your body wash anymore, he smells like his â a crisp, musky scent that you love so dearly. And heâs so warm against you.Â
You realize that youâre only wearing a pair of panties when his lips suddenly attach to your breast, mouthing at your nipple. His tongue swirls over the bud and it feels so good you canât help but moan.Â
âSiâŚâ you sigh, reaching down to run your fingers through his hair. He rewards you by surging up and pressing his lips against yours. He tastes vaguely like mint and itâs intoxicating. So simple, nothing special or poetic. Just mint. Simon.Â
You wrap your arms around his shoulders and eagerly kiss him back. Kissing is easy, you hazily think. You just move your lips in time with his and it falls into place.Â
Simonâs hips move against yours and you cry out when you feel the hard swell of his cock press against you through his sweatpants and your panties. Heâs so hard and it's so hot even through the layers of clothes.Â
âSiâŚâ you whimper again.
âIâm here, love,â he coos, âIâve got you.â
He rocks his hips against yours and fuck, it feels good. You eagerly spread your legs and find yourself wishing that the panties werenât in the way. Youâd love to hear the sticky sound of your pussy against his cock through his sweats. Youâd love to see the stain of your slick against them, knowing that you marked him as yours like that.Â
You feel hot, that tense warmth growing in your tummy. The promise of pleasure that youâve never been able to experience. Maybe Simon could supply it. Youâre sure he could, actually, you convince yourself.
If he just keeps going, keeps rutting his hips like that, you could cum all messy in your panties. Just for him. Only for him.Â
Just as you swear itâs going to wash over you, your eyes fly open and you gasp. Your entire body feels hot and sweaty and you realize youâve thrown your blanket off of your body. The sun is shining through the window and Simon is nowhere to be seen in bed.Â
You swallow, your throat feeling painfully dry.Â
Suddenly, the bedroom door creaks open and Simon comes in with a laundry basket. He casts a glance at you and seems to relax when he realizes youâre awake.
âWas doinâ some laundry,â he explains, turning to open your drawers to begin putting the clean clothes away.
âOh,â you whisper, sounding hoarse, âThank you, Si.â
As you watch him, you realize he seems tenser than usual. You sit up and bed and watch him put the clothes away until heâs finished. He stands there for a moment before looking over his shoulder at you.
âI uh,â he clears his throat, âIâve gotta go tonight.â
âGo?â you ask, eyes going wide. You donât want him to leave, âGo where?â
âIâve got some work to take care of,â he replies, âPaperwork Iâve been puttinâ off. Gonna pull a late one to get it done.â
âI-I donât want you to go,â you confess softly, trying to blink back the tears that sting your eyes. You feel so pathetic, crying because he needs to leave. But you havenât been without him since it happened and youâre scared to be alone with just your thoughts.
âI know,â he hums, taking a seat at the foot of the bed, cupping your cheek, âIâll just be a call away, you know. If you need me, Iâll be there.â
âPromise?â you ask. He nods, teasingly pinching your cheek before you smile and bat his hand away. When he pulls it back you notice his knuckles â bruised and split open. They werenât like that last night you were sure of it, âSimonâŚâ
He catches you looking and gives you a tense smile, âDonât worry about it.â
He stands up and kisses your forehead before turning and leaving the room, leaving you to get ready for the day.Â
Thankfully, Simon remains around for the day. You notice heâs on his phone a lot more, typing away. Itâs unlike him, heâs more the type to do phone calls rather than text. When you ask him about it he just waves you off with an explanation about Soap being on his ass.Â
You have a feeling heâs lying but you donât pry.Â
Before he leaves, he makes you dinner. You walk him to the door, unable to stop the pout on your face when he puts his boots on. You canât help but wish that heâd change his mind at the last second and stay with you after all.Â
But he doesnât. He pulls his balaclava over his face and slips his hood up before turning back to you.Â
âDonât cry, love,â he coos, wiping a stray tear away, âI promise Iâll get all my work done and Iâll be all yours for a good long while.â
âOkayâŚâ you sound so miserable but you canât bring yourself to care, âIâll miss you.â
He brings you in for a hug, making sure to squeeze you nice and tight before he pulls back. He canât give you his normal kiss because of the mask and that only makes you sadder.Â
You donât want him to go. You donât want him to go. You want him to stay. You want to keep him close. He makes you feel safe. He makes you feel complete. You love him so much.Â
You hold onto his hoodie for as long as you can until he has to shake you off and close the door behind him. And you stand there for a long time. Like a puppy who's been left home alone for the first time, just waiting for its owners to come back because itâs scared itâs going to be alone forever.Â
By the time you bring yourself to leave the door, the food Simon made you is cold. That only seems to make you feel worse.Â
Then you sit on the couch and watch TV, feeling hopelessly alone. You wished you had Simon to curl into and snuggle with. The tiny couch has never felt bigger.Â
You shower and brush your teeth, pouting at the sight of his toothbrush, another reminder that he isnât there.Â
Before that night at the bar, you never would have felt so isolated without him; lonely, sure. But now that youâre experiencing this gut-wrenching emptiness, you feel close to tears every time you think about him. He was truly your rock, the only thing that brought you comfort. You loved him.
You flop against the bed and let the tears fall down your temples. You love him. You do.
Youâre so fucking in love with him that it hurts. Your heart aches in your chest. You want him there to hold you.Â
You know he doesnât feel the same, you know it will never become anything. But youâre willing to take whatever you can get. Just his company. You can be content so long as heâs with you, as long as heâs in your life.Â
But you can think about him, imagine yourself telling him how you feel. Imagine that when he holds you close that he feels the same too. That he loves you. You want him to love you so desperately.Â
You wish that he loved you.Â
You curled into his pillow, sniffling pathetically as you closed your eyes. You cry yourself to sleep.Â
Your eyes fly open and the gasp you let out changes to a sob. All you can hear is your heart pounding in your ears. All you see is flashes of their faces in your head. All you can feel are their hands on you.Â
A nightmare, your brain supplies but it does nothing to quell your anxiety and fear.
You reach for Simon, instinctive and desperate. But you only touch the cold mattress and youâre reminded that he isnât home tonight.Â
You fumble through the sheets to find your phone.
Iâll just be a call away, you know. If you need me, Iâll be there.Â
He promised.
You can barely see the screen as you look for his contact. You call him, hands trembling as you hold it to your ear. It rings and rings and rings. Then beeps and goes to voicemail.
You hang up and try again. And again. And again.
He doesnât answer. Why wonât he answer? He promised.
You call him again but it goes straight to voicemail. You can practically feel your heart shatter in your chest. He was ignoring your calls. He ignored you.Â
But he had promised he would come when you needed him. And you needed him.Â
Your phone becomes completely blurry through your tears as you begin to cry in earnest. You feel hurt, betrayed, disappointed, and angry. Youâre fucking angry.Â
You suddenly need to let it out. So you take your phone in your hand and throw it, listening to it slam against the wall. Itâs loud and the light on your screen goes out. But you donât feel better. Youâre still a mess of volatile emotions. It feels like itâs all bottled up inside you and it hurts.Â
You take his pillow and grip it in your fists. You want to rip it to shreds, want to tear it open and release all your anger on it. Instead, you just slam your fists against it.Â
Then you do it again. And again. And again.Â
You punch the damned thing as you cry and cry. Youâre sure you must be a sight. You must be making so much noise as you sob and shriek.Â
You were angry at what happened to you, you were angry you had apologize to them for hurting you, you were angry because you couldnât even sleep peacefully without being plagued by a nightmare the first night you were without Simon, and you were angry he broke his fucking promise.Â
Before long, all you were doing was sobbing into his pillow â wailing and crying your broken heart out. You tire yourself out, completely exhausted of all emotions. You lay there, quietly hiccuping and sniffling, just staring into the inky darkness.Â
Youâre there for hours, unable to fall back asleep. The sun slowly creeps over the horizon and begins to cast an orange glow around the room.Â
You canât even find beauty in it. Youâre so exhausted. Your heart aches. Itâs agonizing.Â
Itâs early morning by the time you hear your front door open. You donât feel excited to see him. Youâre not happy heâs back. You donât feel anything, actually. All you can do is slowly blink, gaze focused outside the window where you can faintly hear birds chirping.Â
You wish you were a bird so you could fly away wherever you want. You would fly away from here right now if you could. You wanted to leave.Â
You didnât want to see Simon. You were so angry at him. Youâve never felt like this about him before. You donât know what to do. All you can think right now is how much you hate him.Â
God, you hate him.Â
Heâs surprisingly quiet as he walks through your apartment. You hear him push the door open, your back to him. But you can feel his eyes on you, can feel how he hovers in the doorway.Â
He wanders further into the room before pausing.Â
He rounds to your side of the bed and sees that youâre awake, simply staring out the window. He holds your phone up, screen clearly shattered before he places it on the table beside you.Â
âYou called,â he says softly, shifting anxiously on his feet. Simonâs never anxious. But he is right now, âIâm sorry I didnât answer. I was justâŚbusy. Had some unruly recruits, you know how it is.â
Your eyes finally move from the window, landing on him. Heâs wearing the same thing he was last night. Just some jeans and white t-shirt. Itâs a nice one, it fits him well and it looks comfy.Â
Simon stands there under your gaze, growing increasingly uncomfortable. Heâs not used to feeling scrutinized. And thatâs exactly what your gaze feels like.Â
Your eyes wander to a strange discoloration on his shirt. Itâs tan, just a light stain. Thereâs a tiny smear of black as well. Then you spot the red on his collar, ruby red.Â
He looks guilty. He would look like a kicked puppy if you didnât know any better. This isnât guilt because he missed your call. Heâs guilty because he was too busy getting his dick wet to answer you.Â
Thatâs why he ignored you? To fuck someone?
Youâre no longer numb. Youâre angry again. That overwhelming feeling that you have no idea how to let out. Itâs like it just boils up inside you, like a pot boiling over. It has no place to go but out.Â
Youâre moving before you even have a chance to register it. You just need to show him how angry you are. Fucking furious.Â
You grab the empty glass on your nightstand and wail it in his direction harder than you thought possible. Simon barely dodges, slamming himself against the wall as it shatters behind him.Â
Now he looks angry. Good. Maybe heâll feel a fraction of what you feel right now.Â
âAre you out of your fucking head?â he snarls, animosity dripping off of every syllable.Â
You donât even answer, grabbing a book that you have stacked there before throwing that too. Then the second book. Then the third book. Then you throw your phone at him. Then you take the lamp, rip the plug right from the wall and throw that too.Â
When youâre out of things to throw on the table you throw your pillow. Itâs when youâre about to throw his pillow that he finally has enough. He rips it from your grasp and tosses it across the room.Â
Heâs standing there, fists balled at his sides and his shoulders heaving up and down as he tries to calm himself.Â
âI hate you,â you finally spit, standing on your knees. You donât have anything to throw so you slam your hands against his chest. You hit him, crying and sobbing as you wail over and over about how you hate him. You hate him so fucking much.Â
âI hate you, I hate you, I hate you!â you scream. Youâre so loud youâre sure the neighbors can hear but you donât care. It feels good to let your anger out on him, to punch and slap and claw at his shoulders, chest, and arms. He doesnât do anything but stand there and let you. Heâd never lay a hand on you, even when youâre doing it to him, âI needed you and you were too busy fucking some stupid whore?!â
He doesnât say anything but heâs trembling now. Youâre not sure if heâs just that angry or if heâs holding himself back from wringing your neck.Â
You pause to look up at him. His jaw is set hard but heâs staring at you, his usual lazy, lidded look nowhere to be found. He looks enraged.Â
âArenât you going to say something?â you spit, raising your hand as if youâre going to slap him across the face but you stop. You donât want to do that.Â
âSay what?â he finally responds, voice so cold you swear it drops the roomâs temperature, âI have a life that doesnât revolve around you. Thatâs the difference between us. You need me but I donât need you.â
You sit back on your heels at that, the hurt clear on your face. Simon doesnât seem to care in the slightest now, as tears trickle down your face. You must look a sight, pathetically gazing up at him as he glares down at you like youâre dog shit on the bottom of his shoe.
âYou hate me?â he scoffs, âThatâs just fine. Weâll see how long you last without me before youâre hanging from a bloody rope.â
He turns on his heel at that and storms out of your room, slamming your bedroom door behind him. It practically rattles the walls. Then you hear the same thing from the front door.Â
And youâre all alone. And you canât do anything but cry about it.Â
You find it impossible to get out of bed after that. You lay there for the rest of the day. Then all night. You fitfully sleep when you canât bear to be awake anymore and then wake when the nightmares hit.Â
Then you watch the sun come up and decide that itâs a good day to spend in bed. So you do. You sleep on and off, only waking to cry when youâre plagued with nightmares.Â
You occasionally think about Simon. More than occasionally, actually. Heâs always on your mind.
You think everything over and come to the conclusion that this was all your fault. From the beginning, really. Youâd been keen on staying in his life since you were children, attached yourself to his side and weaseled your way into his life. Really, you gave him no choice but to put up with you.Â
He was everything to you. He was right, you needed him. You didnât have anyone else. No friends, no family, not even a pet. Just him. Always just him.Â
What choice did he have other than to put up with you day after day? He didnât need you like you needed him, after all. Heâd surely been spending his days in dread of you â of your texts, your calls.Â
This was probably what he was waiting for; an escape. He probably wanted to leave a long, long time ago. You were in love with him and he wanted nothing to do with you.Â
What were you thinking? Actually believing that he would want to spend his days with you, taking care of you. Who were you kidding, you were just an idiot for letting yourself believe otherwise.Â
You wake up one day and realize youâre not angry anymore. Just sad. You almost prefer the anger and emptiness compared to the unending waves of sadness.Â
You cry all the time. Day and night.Â
You try to use your phone, you want to call him but itâs broken. The screen wonât even turn on. Youâre completely alone, canât even contact somebody â not that you have anyone but him.Â
God, that was embarrassing now that you thought about it. There he was going out and getting laid and youâve been holding out for him since you were a kid.Â
Youâre suddenly aware of the fact you havenât showered in days. Youâve barely eaten, only getting up once or twice to find something to nibble on in the kitchen â a slice of bread is what you usually settle on.Â
You pry yourself up from your mattress and stumble to the bathroom. The clanging of pipes is louder than itâs ever been but the hot water is completely welcome.Â
When you stand there, under the burning heat that makes your skin raw, you slowly sink to the shower floor. You havenât cleaned it in a while but you canât bring yourself to care.Â
You let yourself cry again, since itâs all you can do. By the time youâre done, the water is running cold and you stand up to quickly wash yourself with soap so you can at least be clean for the next few days until you can bring yourself to shower again.Â
Itâs when youâre crawling into bed that it suddenly dawns on you that you donât have a job. You hadnât shown up to your shift in days. And you donât have Simon anymore.Â
Panic takes shape and you realize you canât relax. If you donât find a job soon youâre going to be on your ass and homeless by next month.Â
You haul yourself out of bed and begin rooting through your drawers for something to wear.Â
Maybe you can go back to the bar and beg for your job back. Youâll do anything if you have to.Â
Youâre going to prove to yourself and to Simon that youâll make it without him â and you wonât end up hanging from a fucking rope.Â
The sunlight practically burns your skin from not feeling it in a while. Winter is coming in and itâs already damn cold out and you can see your breath. But you ignore it, wrapping your jacket tighter around yourself as you book it for the bar.Â
Youâre filled with utter dread as soon as you open the door. Thereâs a couple patrons already drinking and you wonder what day it is.Â
You look around, searching for your old boss. Heâs nowhere on the floor so you make your way to the staff room and ultimately his office in the very back.Â
You only realize youâre trembling when you raise your hand to knock on the door. But you bite back your fear when youâre reminded that you need the job. You need it.Â
âEnter,â you hear his chilling voice call. You take a breath and push the door open. He freezes the second he lays eyes on you, he sports a black eye and a busted lip, âYou.âÂ
âM-Mr. Dawson,â you shakily whisper, âI-I know I havenât showed up in a few days and Iâm really sorry butââ
âYou want your job back,â he finishes, tossing his head back to laugh, âYou want your fucking job back? After you sent that fucking lunatic here?â
âSent whoâŚ?â you ask softly, willing your knees to stop quaking.Â
âThat asshole in the skull mask. Beat the shit out of me and my blasted customers. You think Iâm going to let you back in after that?â he laughs again, âYouâre out of your fucking mind, you dumb bitch.â
You wince at the insult, âI-I didnât send him. H-He was a friend of mine and he did it on his own butââ
âYou can have your job back,â he says suddenly, making you freeze, âIf you come over here and bend over my desk for me.â
âWhat..?â you ask softly, watching him sit back and lick his lips as his eyes raked down your body.
âYou heard me,â he snickers, âBend over my desk and let me fuck you and Iâll let you have your job back.â
Granted, for a second, you think about it. You really do. To just let him do it. But you canât. You know you can't, you would never do that to yourself.Â
âN-No,â you find yourself whispering, âI wonât do thatâŚâ
His smile fades quickly when you say that and his lip curls in disgust and anger, âShould have let those blokes take you out back and leave you bloody in the alleyway like you deserve.â
You leave with your head hanging low and find yourself standing on the street, fighting tears. You only feel worse than before you went in.Â
When you get home, you stand there and cry. Thatâs all youâve been doing lately, crying. At this rate, Simonâs prophecy is going to come true and youâre going to be hanging from a damn rope. It sounds nice right about now, actually. Anything to stop the horrific pain that you feel.Â
You crawl back into bed and donât get back up that night. Or the next day.Â
The only thing that gets you up the day after that is a painful twang in your stomach. You stumble your way to the kitchen and pull out the loaf of bread youâve been nibbling at but frown when you see some pieces have begun to mold.Â
You take a look in the fridge, finding it painfully empty. The vegetables and fruits that were in there have gone bad now. The meat you had bought was all used up from when Simon cooked. You didnât even have any cup ramens because you opted to not buy any last time.Â
So you resort yourself to tearing the moldy parts off the bread and eating what's left.Â
As you stand there, you realize you feel so tired. Like your legs canât hold you up, so you allow yourself to sink to the floor, back leaning against the cabinet.Â
You almost want to laugh at yourself over what youâve become. Eating moldy bread on the kitchen floor and crying to yourself.Â
You place the bread in the refrigerator in hopes that that will stop its rotting process but you donât have much hope.Â
Then, youâre back in bed. And youâre so exhausted. Itâs impossible to keep your eyes open any longer. So you sleep.Â
But then you have another nightmare. You canât even remember what it was about, youâre too exhausted to even jolt awake like you usually do.Â
Instead, your eyes open and theyâre already filled with tears before you even get the chance to register the fact youâre awake.Â
So you lay like that. For a long time. Just staring at nothing. The tears stop on their own and youâre left exhausted as usual. Itâs become your default state and you begin to wonder if youâre going to feel this broken and hurt forever.Â
You zone out, letting your mind go hazy and erase all thoughts from it.Â
You donât even hear your front door open. Donât hear the boots on the floor. Donât hear your bedroom door open.Â
You hear a call of your name and that gets your attention. But you donât hear anything else.Â
Your imagination? You donât have a lamp anymore to turn on. Youâd thrown it at Simon and it broke.
Suddenly, light floods your bedroom and you bolt up in bed. A large, familiar figure blocks your doorway, a silhouette against the now illuminated hallway.Â
He calls your name again and your heart skips a beat.Â
âSi?â you whisper, choking on a sob when he steps further into the room.Â
Heâs got you gathered up in his arms faster than you can think. Heâs so warm and it feels so good to have him in your arms again. You wrap your arms around his neck and cling to him â hold him so fiercely that youâre worried you may actually break him.Â
âShh,â he coos into your ear, âItâs alright, everythingâs alright.â
âS-SimonâŚâ you canât help but wail, clawing at the back of his hoodie as if you can feel him any closer than he already was.Â
âIâm here,â he sighs, kissing the top of your head, âIâm here. Itâs okay. Shit, just let it out. I fucked up, sweetheart, I did. Just breathe and weâll make everything better, alright?â
âIâm sorry,â you find yourself apologizing through tears, âI-I donât hate you, Si. I donât, I promise. I-I was just mad. Iâm sorry I was mean.â
âYou donât have anything to apologize for,â he consoles you, cupping the back of your head as you sob, âIâm the one who fucked everything up. It was a fuckinâ mistake.â
You canât even formulate a response, too choked up with your cries that you let out into the soft cotton of his hoodie. You feel nothing but relief at having him in your arms again, youâre almost scared that heâs going to disappear if you let go.Â
But he stays there, shushing you and occasionally kissing the top of your head as he rocks you back and forth on the bed.Â
Before long, your cries finally quiet and youâre left curled up against him, quietly sniffling to yourself. His grip on you remains firm, unwilling to let you go.Â
After several, long minutes, he finally speaks, âWhy donât you go wash up, hm? Nice, hot, shower. Iâll fix you up some food, sound good?â
You sniffle and blearily look up at him, your lashes sticking together from your dried tears, âI donât have anything.â
âIâll make you some ramen cups,â he responds.Â
He doesnât like them being part of your diet but it seems he was willing to overlook it just this once so could get something on your stomach.Â
âDonât have any,â you sound completely congested as you talk, sitting up a little to wipe your cheeks.
âNone?â he asks, keeping his hands on your body even as you move off of his lap.Â
You shake your head, âI didnât buy any last time I went shopping.â
âWhat the hell have you been eating then?â he mumbles, slowly standing up from the bed.Â
You wince when you hear his knees and back pop from the movement, âI havenât had much of an appetite but Iâve got some breadâŚâ
Simon is silent after that, nonsensically looking around the room, seemingly taking stock of what's around him. Then he sighs, running a hand through his cropped hair before patting you on the head.
âIâll order then,â he assures you, âGo ahead and shower, yeah?â
You do as youâre told, eager to wash the drying tears off of your face and hopefully wash away the lingering sadness. You know that you and Simon have a lot to talk about, but you figure it can wait until youâre both mentally prepared for it.Â
You feel more refreshed than you have in days when you step out of the shower. You feel a surge of anxiety in your chest when you think maybe he had left while you were showering but when you pause to really listen, you can hear him shuffling about the flat.Â
When you slip into your bedroom, youâre shocked to see that your bed has been completely stripped. He also swept up the broken remnants of the glass and lamp you had thrown at him and picked up the books. He had picked up some scattered pieces of clothes and put them in the laundry basket where they belonged.Â
You get yourself dressed and place your dirty clothes in the basket so you donât undo the work that Simon had done.Â
You hear a knock on your door and it makes you jump but Simon quickly answers it. He calls your name to let you know the food has arrived and you quickly make your way to the kitchen.Â
Heâs methodically separating the food he had ordered into two separate groups, clearly having ordered for himself as well.Â
It smells positively delicious and you find your mouth watering as your stomach growls.Â
You turn to the fridge, opening it to grab a bottle of water out of it. You notice that the loaf of bread you had in there is gone, most likely thrown out by Simon when he realized it was moldy.
You feel your cheeks burn in shame when you imagine him knowing that you had been eating moldy bread because you couldnât afford to buy groceries â although, even if you had all the money in the world, you were sure you wouldnât have felt like going out to get any. You wouldnât have been able to order since youâd broken your phone.Â
You open the styrofoam tray and immediately start devouring the chicken tenders he had ordered for you. It was simple, easy, and tasty. He clearly didnât want to order you anything too hefty given the fact youâve been existing on bread.Â
He had a burger, taking slow bites of it and occasionally nibbling at his fries. You took the opportunity to look him over.Â
He honestly looked the same as ever. He didnât have dark circles or bags under his eyes like you did. He didnât have red-rimmed, bloodshot eyes from crying for days. For some reason that made a pang of resentment surge through you. He seemed completely unbothered by everything that had happened. Unbothered, even.Â
His words ring out through your head like a bell.Â
âWeâll see how long you last without me before youâre hanging from a bloody rope.â
Tears sting the back of your eyes again but you bite them back, choosing to take a bite of your french fries. You realize now that you can hear the washing machine going. Clearly, he had put your bedding in there to wash.Â
Maybe he was right, you couldnât survive without him. Couldnât even wash your own damn laundry.Â
âWhatâs goinâ on in that head of yours?â he interrupts your self-deprecating thoughts.Â
âOh, um,â you scramble to think of what to say. Something not depressing or something that could upset him, âI was just wondering what youâve been up to these few days!â
You try your hardest to sound chipper and interested. Youâre positive he doesnât buy the act in the slightest from the soft, pained look he gives you. But he thankfully plays along. Youâre grateful because you donât want to cry again.
âI was uh,â he cleared his throat and took a sip of water, âI was on base, actually. Nothinâ interesting, really. What, uh, what about you?â
You feel your smile falter and you look down at your food, âNothing interesting. Tried to get my job back but that was a bust,â you chuckled, playing it off like a goofy anecdote, âTurns out your ex-boss doesnât like when he gets beat to shit because of you!â
Simon drops his burger into his tray and his nonchalant expression turns sour in half a second, âYou tried to go back to work at that shithole? Why the fuck would you do that? You know itâs not good for you!â
All over again, you feel your body flush with anger, and youâre shouting at him before you know it, âWhat the fuck was I supposed to do, Simon?! You left and I had no idea what the fuck I was supposed to do without you. I assumed you were gone forever,â you voice pathetically broke but you ignored it, tearfully glaring at him, âAll you said was that I was gonna end up killing myself and I was doing everything in my power to prove you wrong.â
âYou should have known me better than that!â he shouted, slamming his hands on the countertop, âI never would have left youââ
âThatâs exactly what you did!â you shriek, pointing an accusing finger at him, âYou left me! You ignored me when I needed you to go get laid and then left like I was nothing to you! Look at you for fuckâs sake, Iâm a fucking wreck and you look like you couldnât have fared better! I almost let that scumbag fuck me just to get my fucking job back, Simon! All because you left me.â
For once in his life, Simon seems utterly lost for words. The only sound in the small kitchen was the steady dripping of your leaky sink and youâre stuttering, sharp breaths as you force yourself to not break down all over again.Â
âI should have known you better?â you whisper, resting your hands on the countertop, hanging your head so you can catch your breath, âApparently I should have. Maybe then I would have known better to depend on you like that.â
Simon stands there, across the counter from you but feeling like he was miles away. You could hear his breathing stutter every few seconds, like he was gearing up to say something but he seemingly changed his mind every time.Â
The washing machine jingle rang through the apartment and he immediately stepped away.Â
Typical. Simon was never the type to truly let himself be emotionally vulnerable so there was no reason for you to expect it now.Â
With him out of the room, you took the chance to wind yourself down, taking a few more bites of your tenders. You could hear Simon moving the laundry to the dryer, slamming it closed before turning it on.Â
But he doesnât reappear, evidently hiding out in the tiny room off the kitchen where your washer and dryer were. He was probably collecting himself just like you. But he appears a second later, lingering out of the corner of your eye. You can see him looking at you but you canât bear to look back at him.
âI didnâtâŚâ he pauses, taking a breath, âI wasnâtâŚâ he lets out a sound of frustration before he tries again, âI wasnât okay while I was gone.âÂ
He doesnât say anything more. It was evident that that was all he was willing to give up in the moment. But you want more from him, you need more.Â
âI donât know how Iâm supposed to get past this, Simon,â you whisper, âEverythingâs so fucked up. Iâm fucked up.â
âI am too,â he says softly, drumming his fingers against the counter, âWeâll fix it.â
His assurance marks the end of the conversation and you both resume eating the dinner he had ordered. But itâs silent and neither of you make an attempt to fill it.Â
Once the food is eaten, you take a seat on the couch, knees pulled up to your chest as Simon takes your laundry basket from your bedroom and puts the clothes in the washer.Â
Your eyelids feel heavy and you wish so desperately that you could crawl into bed and sleep. You suddenly realize that you have no idea what time it is.Â
âSimon?â you call out when you catch him passing by. He stops at your calling, raising an inquisitive brow, âWhat time is it?â
He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out his phone, unlocking it so he can see, â9:20.â
âOhâŚâ you respond, tucking your head back into your knees.Â
Simon walks away at that and you briefly wonder what heâs doing now. But your eyelids are so heavy and youâre finding it so hard to think clearly.Â
Youâre pulled from your sleep a soft hand petting over your head. Your eyes slowly drift open and youâre met with Simonâs sweet, brown eyes.Â
âMade your bed,â he says so softly, thumbing over your cheek, âGo ahead and get some proper sleep.â
You nod your head and sit up, briefly wondering how you managed to flop over on your side without waking up. Simon takes your hands and helps you to your feet.
You stumble down the hallway and immediately toss yourself onto your bed. You donât even bother to crawl under the blanket, simply drop your head onto the pillow and let sleep overcome you.Â
When you wake up next, itâs from a nightmare. You gasp into consciousness, eyes wide open in the inky blackness of your bedroom. Your heart pounds in your ears and you find yourself panting, trying to stabilize yourself.Â
A heavy weight tosses itself over your middle and you almost panic before you smell Simonâs cologne. Immediately, you relax and sink back into the bed.Â
âYouâre okay,â he whispers, voice thick with sleep, âIâve got you.â
âI want it to stop,â you find yourself whispering, feeling so utterly exhausted, âThe nightmares.â
Simon tugs you over to him, tucking you securely against his chest, his arm like a heavy weight draped across your abdomen, âWeâll get you fixed up.â
As you close your eyes and sink into his embrace, all you can think is that you should have never been broken in the first place.Â
You finally sleep through the night but you wake up feeling far from refreshed. Whatâs most shocking is that youâre still wrapped up in Simonâs arms â and heâs still asleep. The sun is well risen now, he should have been up and about a while ago. He never strays from his schedule.
You find yourself staring at him. It wasnât often that you got the chance to see him so peaceful. His lashes were so long, brushing his cheeks. You rest your head against his chest, listening to the steady beating of his heart and the deep sound of his breathing. Your eyes slowly drift closed again and you let yourself drift off to sleep once more.Â
When you wake up next, itâs because Simon is trying to carefully move you off of his chest so he can get up. You whine and find yourself clinging to him again.
âDidnât mean to wake you,â he mutters, settling back against the headboard. He wraps his arms around you and lets you melt against him again, your head resting against his chest.
âYou slept late,â you find yourself commenting.
âYeah, uh,â he clears his throat and softly rubs your back, âI havenât had the chance to sleep much. Base is pretty loud.â
You want to mention that itâs never been a problem for him before but you bite it back. Instead, you hum in response.Â
As youâre left in the still quietness of the late morning with him, you realize that you still have no idea how you feel about him. You donât know how you feel about him being back. On one hand, youâve missed him so, so dearly and you feel so complete with him by your side. You feel safer and more whole, like you could actually start healing again.Â
But on the other hand, there feels like thereâs a wall separating you two. The fight you two had is a heavy weight that seems to continuously pull you under the water despite how hard you fight to resurface for air.Â
You love him, you really do.Â
But youâre still so angry at him.Â
And it feels like neither of you are going to actually talk about it properly.Â
The two of you eventually make it out of bed and get moving around. You still donât have any groceries but Simon simply orders something for breakfast again.
âSomethinâ I need to ask you,â he says, suddenly terrifyingly serious as the two of you stand in the kitchen eating.
Anxiety flares through you but you try to appear calm and cool, âAbout?â
âYou said that,â he takes a second to collect himself, seemingly searching for the right words, âYou almost slept with that guy for your job back.â
Your heart dropped to your stomach, âYeahâŚwhat about it?âÂ
Simon paused when he heard the defensiveness in your voice, âYou really almost did that?â
You frown, âSo what? I can do what I want, Simon.â
He sighs softly, holding his hands up, âIâm not tryinâ to fight, love.â
âI donât know why itâs your business,â you mumble, using annoyance to hide the shame you feel, âI just needed a job is all.â
He nods, âYou donât need to worry about that, alright. Iâve got you.â
You take a bite of your sandwich, intent on trying to take the attention off of you, âThereâs something I wanted to ask you too.â
âGo ahead,â he says softly, sipping on the drink he ordered â some kind of soda if you had to guess.
âThat nightâŚâ you start, pausing when you notice the way he stiffens immediately. He plays it off by going back to his food, âYou, um, you left to hook up with someone, right?â
He places his sandwich down and sighs, âYeah.â
â...Why?â you finally ask, âI meanâŚâ
You trail off and Simon remains silent. The tension is so thick you could practically see it between the two of you. Your heart hammers in your chest, anxiety steadily festering the longer heâs quiet. You think he isnât going to respond at all and start to give up, hanging your head.Â
âI wasnât thinking clearly,â he finally says, âIt was aâŚlast minute choice and it shouldnât have happened.â
He says it but you donât feel any relief. That concrete weight on your chest isnât eased in the slightest. Itâs an excuse, something heâs saying to get you off his back. And that doesnât feel good.
âI umâŚâ you clear your throat to get rid of the way it sounds thick, âIâm sorry for that time, by the way. When I was throwing things and I-I hit you. I shouldnât have done that, it was wrong of me. So, Iâm sorry.â
âYou donât have to apologize,â he says softly, shrugging his shoulders dismissively, âYou were upset.â
âSimonâŚâ you mumble, food completely forgotten in front of you, âI want to talk. About everything,â Simon seems annoyed immediately but he tries to hide it. You know him too well for that, though, âI-It was a lot and I think we should talk about it â really talk about it.â
He says your name exasperatedly, turning to open the fridge so he can put his leftover food inside before he slams the door. âI donât want to talk about anything.â
âBut I do,â you say, following him as he storms out of the kitchen, âYou said some really mean shit, Si. I want to talk about it!â
He storms into the bedroom, slamming it open as he busies himself with picking up inside. You can tell heâs uncomfortable and simply trying to take his mind off of it. But youâre not going to let him avoid it.
âI donât,â he snaps, final and harsh.
âI do!â you argue again, âI-I want to know why you said that to me. I want to know how you couldââ
âFuck sake!â he hisses through clenched teeth, ripping his hoodie off of a chair he had tossed it onto.Â
He pushes past you, tugging it over his head. You follow him out of the room, watching with wide eyes as he picks up his mask from the coffee table. He tugs it on, painfully silent as he fits it into place.Â
âWhat are you doing?â you finally ask when he gets to the door, slipping his boots on with a grunt, âWhere are you going?â
âOut.â he growls, jerking the door open so hard it rattles on its hinges.
âDonât run from me, Simon!â you cry, grabbing hold of his sleeve to keep him from stepping out, âAre you ever going to tell me you're sorry? Are you ever going to look in my eyes and tell me that you're sorry for what you said to me? For leaving me? Or are you just going to do it again?âÂ
You canât fight the tears as you cry out, trying to tug him back into the apartment. But he gives you one final look before he rips his arm from your grasp and slams the door in your face. Youâre left alone again, frustrated, sad and utterly confused.Â
You wished he would stop leaving.Â
You decide to stay up a little later than you had lately, waiting for him to come home. The oven clock read a little past midnight when you finally called it and crawled into bed. Tugging his pillow to your side, you wrapped yourself around it and tried to imagine that it was him in your arms again. Closing your eyes, you will yourself to fall asleep, no matter how much you want to stay up and wait.Â
Youâre jostled awake by the weight shifting on the bed. Your eyes flutter open as it creaked under the additional weight. You know itâs Simon, even though your back is to him. He remains silent, clearly trying not to wake you and unaware that he already has.Â
The heat radiates off of him in waves, comforting and nice. But despite that, you feel tears welling up until they finally trickle down your cheeks. You can hear Simonâs soft breathing and you can feel him shift every once in a while as he tries to sleep.Â
âI canât do this, Simon,â you find yourself whispering. Itâs quiet but you know he hears it, âI want to feel better again. I want to stop being so fucking angry at you but you wonât let me. You just leave me again and I want you to stop. I wantâŚâ you suck in a breath and find yourself struggling to continue, simply dissolving into cries. You quiet them as best you can into your pillow.
Simon is painfully silent and still. Youâre positive heâs not going to say anything. Heâs going to pretend to sleep so he can avoid talking about it because thatâs what he does best â avoid. When things get too hard or emotional, he avoids it like the plague.Â
You suppose itâs from the way he grew up. A mamaâs boy who was punished by his father for showing any kind of emotional vulnerability. It led to him being terrified of it as an adult â he refuses to let himself show that kind of weakness, even to someone who means something to him. And you know that you do â mean something to him, that is.Â
âIâm sorry,â he finally whispers, just an echo in the darkness of the room. But it draws you to silence, âIâm sorry,â he repeats, voice thick with emotion, âFor what I said to you and for the way I acted that night. I fucked up, I know. It never should have happened. What I said should have neverââ he lets out a heavy breath, âI never should have said it.â
You roll over, blinking the tears out of your eyes, which tumble down your cheeks. With a sniffle, you scoot closer to him, his warmth welcome and comforting. He opens his arms for you, letting you situate yourself against him. You rest your head against his shoulder, letting your hand rest against his chest. His own hand comes up to take it in his, bringing it up to press a kiss to your knuckles.Â
âYou meanâŚâ he trails off again but you remain patient, knowing itâs difficult for him to fight through his desire to flee, âYou mean a lot to me. I never want to lose you. YouâreâŚimportant.â
You nuzzle your head against him, a silent acceptance of his apology. He kisses the top of your head and pulls you more firmly against him.
âIâm sorry,â he whispers again for good measure.
He didn't look you in the eyes and tell you he was sorry but he did the best he could. In the inky blackness of your bedroom, as you shared a bed, and he held you so sweetly, he finally said what you needed to hear. And that's truly all you could ask for.
PART TWO.
do not modify, translate, or repost.
#simon riley smut#simon ghost riley smut#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#ghost smut#ghost x reader#cod smut#cod x reader
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i'm not sure?! (m) | jjk/pjm/kth
title: i'm not sure?! pairing: jungkook x jimin x taehyung x show producer!reader(f) rating/genre: m(18+) ; fluff, smut ; the canon idol au summary: You're a producer working on a BTS travel show, called "Are You Sure?!" staring BTS members Jimin and Jungkook, with their fellow member guest star Taehyung. Everything is going well on set as filming for the night comes to an end, but when Jungkook and Jimin inform you that they caught you staring at their shirtless bodies, things quickly escalate between you guys by the poolside. warnings: fluff, language, pwp, threesome, foursome, tit play, nipple play, licking, some body boob worship, blowjobs, hand jobs, eating out, multiple orgasms, ass slapping, light mlm moment, cumming, oral sex (m and f receieving), biting, praise, they all have a big dicks but they're different!, tatted jk and jimin is a warning in itself, jungkook is a bit more rough, jimin is soft :(((, taehyung dom tease!, insinuation that this is not their first rodeo lmfao, kisses note: i am watching are you sure?! and i've thought many thoughts... i hope this one shot can be prescribed to you and heal whatever insane and nasty intrusive thoughts you guys have when watching. i am a simple woman, but these men only slightly older than me have me wrecked :"))) also s/o to @daegudrama for editing despite her busyness total word count: 6.6k drop date: August 29th, 2024 5pm pst ao3 link
A day of filming wrapped as the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm, golden hue over the lush greenery of Jeju Island.
The final shot had captured the last rays of sunlight glinting off the shimmering pool, where Jimin and Jungkook had been playfully splashing each other and playing mermaids, their laughter echoing through the tranquil evening air. The crew began to pack up the equipment, the usual post-shoot chatter filling the space as everyone prepared to unwind after another successful day.
You, the producer, had been watching the monitors closely, ensuring every moment was captured perfectly for "Are You Sure?"âthe travel reality show hosted by BTS members Jimin and Jungkook. Youâve seen how their chemistry was undeniable since filming started out in the US in July. Now, once again, their camaraderie was infectious as they explored the beauty of Jeju, Korea with their fellow bandmate and guest star Taehyung by their side. Each outing in Jeju had been a hit: indoor rock climbing, go-karting, savoring omakase as well as other Jeju delicacies, and now, the pool at the luxurious house accommodation, where they seemed to find endless ways to entertain themselves, and the audiences who would eventually be watching this.
However, throughout this filming project, you found your eyes constantly lingering. The cool blue water rippled gently as Jimin and Jungkook clambered out, their naked torsos glistening in the fading light. It wasnât the first time youâd caught yourself staring a little too long, mesmerized by the sight of them so effortlessly carefree and touchy. There was something about the way they moved, their playful energy, that made it hard to look away.
You shake off the thought. Get it together, Y/N! You finally got a big gig producing a reality show for BTS in your mid-20s and you cannot be ruining it over your lust. You sigh. Maybe the lack of touch and a relationship is really getting to you, but thatâs what happens when you value your career above other mundane things. You have to remind yourself that you have to continue staying professional to make it to the end of filming this.
What you donât know is that your stares havenât gone unnoticed, especially by the youngest of the trio, Jungkook.
As you begin to collect your things, your heart skips a beat when you hear a voice call out to you.
âHey, PD-nim. Can you come join us by the pool for a bit before you go,â Jungkook says, his tone casual, but his smile inviting. âWe wanted to talk about tomorrowâs shoot.â
Jimin nods in agreement, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he leans against the edge of the pool. âYeah, weâve got some ideas for tomorrow. Plus, itâs a nice nightâno reason to rush off, right?â
You hesitate for a moment, your mind racing. The day has been long, and you can feel the exhaustion settling in. But the chance to spend a few more moments in their company, even if just to discuss the next day's itinerary, is too tempting to resist.
âUh,â you turn to look around at the other staff, seemingly wondering if you should stay behind.
However, the ones who notice the interaction shrug, seemingly wanting to go back to their accommodation next door and eat dinner. Great.
âSure, I can stick around for a bit.â trying to keep your voice steady as you walk over to where theyâre waiting.
All the staff but you fully exit, closing the large doors that encase you in this space with these beautiful men. You sit on one of the comfortable seats by the pool, nervously hugging your knees as you watch Jimin and Jungkook swim toward you. You notice Taehyung is still inside the living room, lying on the floor as he scrolls on his phone. âIs he coming to join us?â You ask, wondering if there are any concerns for tomorrow, wouldnât it be good to have him hear this information too? Â
âHeâll join us later~â Jimin answers, his tone sounding like heâs up to something, but his adorable smirk makes you not question it.
âAh, alright.â
A brief silence follows as you look to Jimin and Jungkook to start the conversation, but instead, they exchange a glance and giggle.
Youâre confused, but you recognize this as typical behavior from them. âIs there something wrong?â
Jungkookâs giggling becomes softer before it cuts, âYou know, weâve noticed you staring at us too much throughout the trip in America and here.â
Holy shit! They noticed!
Panic sets in. Oh no no no. Is this it? They probably think youâre creepy. What if they think youâre some sort of sasaeng fan who somehow got involved in the production of this show to stalk them?Â
Youâll be labeled a pervert, potentially losing your job and getting blacklisted from the industry. All because you couldnât keep your eyes off of their beautiful faces⌠and bodies. Itâs not your fault! While you were a fan of BTS years ago, you gave that up once you entered the entertainment industry a few years ago and started out as a production assistant. Youâve occasionally seen them at music and end of the year shows you worked on, but you gently admired them from afar, prioritizing your work over anything else.
âIââ You struggle to find the words to defend yourself. âIâm so sorry!â You cover your face with your hands, your words muffled. âI-I didnât mean to! Y-Youâre⌠HeâsâŚâ
The professional and stoic exterior youâve maintained begins to crumble now that youâve been caught red-handed.
But despite your panic, Jimin and Jungkook find your reaction completely endearing.
âSheâs reacting exactly as cute as you said!â Jimin laughs, splashing water at Jungkook, who swims toward the pool ladder to get out.
âI didnât realize sheâd be this flustered, though!â Jungkook says, a hint of concern in his voice. He climbs out of the pool and walks toward you, dripping water onto the deck. âPD-nim, donât worry about it.â
You peek through your fingers, still mortified, as Jungkook approaches, looking as attractive as ever with his body glistening from light reflecting on the remnants of water falling down his body. His expression is soft, reassuring, and it only makes your heart race faster.
Jimin lets out a soft chuckle. âHey, itâs okay. Weâre just teasing you,â His voice is light and teasing as he floats lazily in the pool âWeâre not uncomfortable. Itâs kind of flattering, actually.â
Jungkook nods, his expression gentle yet probing. âYup! Youâve been nothing but professional this whole time. We just noticed that⌠maybe thereâs more beneath the surface.â
Jimin gracefully lifts himself out of the pool and takes the seat on your other side. His presence is both comforting and disarming. âItâs like thereâs something youâre holding back,â he adds, his tone hiding something deeper. âSomething youâre denying yourself.â
You exhale slowly, trying to steady your nerves. Internally, youâre awestruck. Itâs like they read you like a book. The intensity of their gazes still makes your heart race. Before you can respond, Jungkookâs eyes drop to your chest, his smile turning playful again.
âYou know,â he says, âI noticed the black bikini top peeking out from under your tank top earlier.â
Your breath catches as his fingers touch the straps that tie behind your neck. Youâd planned to swim later, after filming, wearing the bikini under your tank top and maxi skirt. Seeing how much fun they were having, youâd wanted to join in. But now, with their attention focused on you, you feel exposed in a way you hadnât anticipated.
Jimin leans in slightly, his voice dropping to a murmur. âWhy donât you take off your clothes so we can see it better? Weâll help you~â
Take off your clothes?! Your heart pounds in your chest, the suggestion hanging in the air between you. The teasing is taking a turn, and youâre not sure how to respond. Saying no might kill the mood, and who knows what theyâd thinkâor say. But if you say yes⌠thereâs no telling where this might lead.
Youâre not sure. But after a momentâs hesitation, you nod, your voice barely above a whisper. âOkayâŚâ
Jungkook gently takes hold of the hem of your tank top, his fingers brushing against your skin. His touch is both soft and deliberate, sending a shiver down your spine as he slowly lifts the fabric, his eyes never leaving yours.
Your breath catches in your throat as Jungkook pulls the tank top over your head, revealing the black bikini top beneath. Your cleavage and the roundness of your breasts are on full display, which makes them slightly more excited. The cool air hits your skin, making you acutely aware of how exposed you are.Â
But the look in their eyes isnât one of judgmentâitâs something far more intense, more primal.
Jimin watches with a satisfied smile, his gaze flickering between you and Jungkook. âYou donât need to hide, okay?â he adds, his voice soft yet commanding. âWeâre all just having a little fun, right?â
Jungkookâs hands linger on your waist, his thumbs brushing lightly against the skin just above the waistband of your maxi skirt. âThis too,â he says, his voice almost a whisper as he hooks his fingers under the fabric.
You glance at Jimin, who nods encouragingly, his eyes dark with anticipation. Thereâs no turning back now, and a part of you doesnât want to.
With a gentle tug, Jimin helps you slide the skirt down your hips, letting it pool around your feet. You stand up, stepping out of it. Now, your body is fully on display in the black bikini that suddenly feels far more revealing than it did before.
Jiminâs smile widens as his gaze travels over you, his hand coming to rest on your thigh. âWow, you look even better than I imagined,â he murmurs, his voice sending a thrill through you.
âSheâs really pretty,â Jungkookâs hands trail up your sides, his touch light but possessive. âLetâs go in the pool for a swim,â he says softly, his eyes locked onto yours.
Youâre momentarily thrown off by the sudden change of scenario, blinking in surprise. The intensity of the moment shifts, and both Jimin and Jungkook burst into soft giggles at your reaction. Before you can say anything, Jungkook takes your hands and, with a mischievous grin, pulls you up from the lounge chair.
In one swift motion, he lifts you into his arms, the strength in his hold both reassuring and thrilling. âHold on tight,â he says, winking at you before he leaps into the pool, bringing you along with him.
âHuh!? Wahh!!â The water rushes around you, cool and refreshing as you both plunge beneath the surface.
When you resurface, laughing and splashing, Jimin stands at the edge, watching with amusement. âWait for me!â he calls out before executing a perfect cannonball right between you and Jungkook, sending a wave of water crashing over both of you.
The three of you laugh as the playful atmosphere takes over. The tension from earlier dissolves into something lighthearted and fun. In the pool, you play a variety of games: splashing water at each other, racing from one end to the other, seeing who can hold their breath the longest, and even attempting to dunk each other under the water.
You become more familiar with them and vice versa.
Jimin and Jungkook take turns lifting you up and tossing you into the deeper end, your laughter echoing in the night. At one point, Jungkook even suggests a round of âchicken fight,â where Jimin hoists you onto his shoulders while Jungkook does the same with an imaginary opponent, both of you trying to push each other off into the water.
As the night progresses, the games become more relaxed, the three of you floating side by side, your bodies gently swaying with the ripples of the water.Â
Maybe this is all thatâs going to happen. Maybe you were overthinking any other scenario. They were just teasing you because you were staring at them throughout the filming. You guys are gonna call it a night, right?
Rightâ
âY/N, can I touch your breasts.â
The sudden question jolts you out of your thoughts, and you quickly stand up in the pool, water cascading off your skin. Jungkook is closer now, his gaze fixed on you with a seriousness that wasnât there before. His eyes are darker, a smoldering intensity taking over the playful spark youâre used to.
You swallow hard, caught completely off guard. âIs there⌠a reason?â you manage to ask, your voice coming out shakier than youâd like. You are on the bigger side than most girls here, so itâs not entirely surprising that your chest caught his eye.
Jungkook steps even closer, his presence almost overwhelming. âIâm just curious,â he says softly, his voice low and almost hypnotic. âI want to see how they feel.â
Your heart races, every nerve in your body tingling as the situation escalates far beyond anything youâd imagined. You canât believe this is happening, and yet, thereâs something in the way he looks at you that makes it impossible to say no.
âUh⌠sure,â you respond, barely above a whisper, your cheeks burning with a mixture of embarrassment and anticipation.
Jungkookâs hand moves slowly, deliberately, under the cup of your bikini top. His touch is tentative at first, as if heâs savoring the moment, but then his fingers press more firmly against your skin, exploring the softness with a deliberate curiosity. Your breath catches in your throat as you feel his thumb brush against your nipple, sending a jolt of electricity through your body.Â
The sensation is heightened by the sight of his tattooed right arm, the intricate patterns of his sleeve adding a dark contrast to his skin. The ink swirls and curves with every movement, the bold lines almost mesmerizing as his hand continues its exploration.
You bite your lip, trying to stifle the sound that threatens to escape, but you canât help the way your body reacts to his touch. The water feels warmer now, the atmosphere is charged with sexual tension. Luckily the cameras outside are now off, but you still canât let the staff in the building next door hear anything going on.Â
Jimin, who had been floating nearby, quietly watching, now moves closer as well, his eyes glinting with something unreadable. âJungkook,â he says softly, his voice a gentle reminder that heâs there too, âDonât hog all the fun.â
Jungkook pulls back slightly, his hand still lingering on your skin as he glances at Jimin with a playful smile. âI wouldnât dream of it.â
Jimin leans closer, his gaze intent and voice soft. âIâm going to touch you too, is that okay?â
You nod, anticipation and nervousness swirling within you.
Jiminâs hand moves under the bikini cup to grasp your left breast, his touch gentle yet confident as he begins to explore. His fingers graze and play with your nipple, causing a shiver to run through your body. His thumb and forefingers move in careful back and forth motions. Tenderly tweaking them, carefully observing the way your face reacts to his every touch. He appears as if he is under a trance, and looks at you with such a need in his eyes.
The sensation is heightened by Jungkook, who leans in closer, his breath warm against your skin.Â
âIâm gonna remove your top so I can suck on them a bit,â He says shyly, pausing for a moment to untie your bikini straps from the back of your neck and remove your bikini top, before lowering his head and softly pressing his lips to your nipple, his tongue darting out to tease.Â
His hands push your breasts together as his tongue caresses the inner curves of your tits, swirling his tongue across them. Your hands are on his shoulders as he continues, licking every inch of your chest, nuzzling his face between them and leaving kisses along the path. His tongue flicks your right nipple and your breathing hitches in your throat. Despite the water in the way, you can feel yourself becoming wet from below.
Jimin watches, clearly intrigued, and soon follows suit, his mouth finding the other breast. He rubs his mouth along it, giving it a couple of kisses then wrapping his lips around it. Suctioning and taking in the tit with such hungry delight.Â
You feel like you have whiplash, as you cry out from the warmth of their mouths on your skin, your back arches off of the wall of the pool. You want to touch them, reach for them, feel the silkiness of his hair in your grasp.Â
But Jimin doesnât let up, taking his time licking slowly around your areola until your nipple perks up, hard and stiff. He flicks it with the tip of his tongue, and with the sudden cold from the night air, it feels all too much.Â
Jungkook looks up at you through his wet hair, through black lashes as he widens his mouth over your breast, his teeth bared, scraping the fat of your breast without ever breaking the skin. You cry out in a cluster of pleasure, maybe pain, as your senses are confused about all of the sensations at once.
Despite the feelings of them against you, their actions are synchronized and perfectly in tune with each other.
The poolâs gentle ripples and breeze seem to fade into the background as the focus narrows to the intimate touch of the two men. Their movements are tender and explorative, a blend of curiosity and desire that leaves you breathless and overwhelmed.
Your mind is fighting for dear life to stay sane and not lose to your animalistic urges,
âLetâs get out of the pool,â Jungkook commands, his voice firm yet enticing. âI want you to sit back on that daybed couch, baby.â
The shift in how heâs addressing you in the past 45 minutes is strikingâboth intimate and commanding. You nod, your body responding almost instinctively to his command as you all exit the pool. The three of you walk over to the poolside daybed, water dripping off your bodies, cooling in the night.
You sink into the plush cushions, the soft fabric cool against your heated skin. The daybed is large, designed for lounging, but right now, it feels like the center of something much more intense. Jungkook and Jimin kneel on either side of you, their knees pressing into the mattress as they lean over you, their wet bodies glistening under the soft pool lights.
You look at both of them, a daring thought forming in your mind. âI want to⌠lick at your chests too,â you say, your voice trembling slightly with a mix of eagerness, shyness and uncertainty.
The thought of exploring the contrasting textures of their skin, the difference in their nipples under your tongue, is almost overwhelming. You wonder how each will react, the mere anticipation making your breath catch.
Jiminâs eyes light up with a mischievous glint. âGo ahead,â he murmurs, his voice a blend of encouragement and desire. âWeâre here for you.â
Jungkook watches intently, his gaze dark with expectation. âWeâre all yours,â he says softly, his tone dripping with promise.
You reach out tentatively, your fingers brushing against their chests to feel the firmness of their muscles under your touch. The warmth of their skin sends a shiver down your spine as you explore the contours of their bodies. Your hands glide over Jungkook's chest first, pausing to tease his nipples with your fingertips gently. His breath hitches, a low hum of approval escaping his lips as he watches you with darkened eyes.
Encouraged by his reaction, you lean in closer, your mouth hovering just above his skin. You start with a soft kiss on his chest before taking one of his small chocolate nipples into your mouth, your tongue swirling around it in a slow, deliberate motion. Jungkookâs hand instinctively reaches up to cradle the back of your head, his fingers tangling in your hair as he lets out a quiet groan of pleasure. His chest rises and falls more rapidly, his breathing growing heavier as you continue to tease him, alternating between gentle licks and firmer sucks.
The sound of his pleasure fuels your desire, making you want to elicit even more reactions from him. But as you pull back slightly, your gaze shifts to Jimin, who has been watching with equal intensity. His eyes are filled with anticipation, his lips slightly parted as if heâs already imagining what it will feel like when itâs his turn.
You move towards Jimin, your fingers tracing the outline of his chest as you did with Jungkook. His skin feels differentâsofter, yet still firm beneath your touch. Just below his right breast, he has a delicate script tattoo, the word "Nevermind" inked in elegant, flowing letters. You've always found it sexy, this handwritten tattoo adds a personal touch to his perfectly sculpted body.
His nipples are also differently shaped, bigger, and a bit lighter in color. You can feel the slight tremble in his body as you gently roll his nipple between your fingers before leaning in to taste him. Your mouth closes over his nipple, your tongue flicking against it in a teasing rhythm that draws a sharp inhale from him. His hand rests lightly on your shoulder, his grip tightening slightly as you continue to explore him with your mouth.
Jiminâs reactions are more subtle, yet no less intense. His soft moans mix with Jungkookâs heavier breathing, creating a symphony of sounds that only heighten your own arousal. The way their bodies respond to your touch, the contrast in their reactions, drives you to explore further, to discover just how much pleasure you can bring them.
You pull back slightly, glancing toward the large doors that separate the pool area from the rest of the accommodation. A flicker of concern crosses your mind, and you bite your lip before whispering, âYou two need to stay quiet. We donât want anyone overhearing us.â
Any slight mistake and you will lose your job, remember?
Jimin and Jungkook exchange a glance, their playful expressions tinged with a shared understanding. They nod, their eyes never leaving yours as they silently agree to your request. But just as you start to relax, your actions come to a stop when you feel them guiding your hands downwards, placing them on their lower bodies.
Your breath catches as your fingers wrap around their growing hardness, the heat and firmness of their cocks hidden under their swim trunks pressing against your palms. Jimin lets out a shaky exhale, leaning in close enough that you can feel his breath against your ear. âIâve wanted to feel you so bad for months now,â he confesses, his voice low and thick with desire.
Jungkook, not to be outdone, adds in a hushed tone, his eyes glinting with a dark sparkle, âMe too. You donât know how much youâve been driving us crazy.â
Their words send a thrill through you, intensifying the moment. You didnât realize you were having this effect on them. You look at them both, their shared longing evident in their eyes. Slowly, you pull their members out from their swim trunks, your heart racing as you position yourself between them, sinking to your knees on the cushioned daybed.
Oh fuckâŚ
The size difference even extends to their dicks. Jungkookâs is much longer, with veins prominent on its sides. Jiminâs is shorter, but the girth is insane. You canât help but imagine how theyâd feel inside your pussy. No, you canât get ahead of yourself Y/N. Not yet at leastâŚ
With a mixture of boldness and anticipation, you lean down, your lips parting as you begin to lick at their members, starting with soft, tentative strokes of your tongue. The sensation of their heated skin against your tongue is intoxicating, their quiet groans spurring you on. You alternate between them, your tongue tracing the veins along their lengths, savoring the contrast in texture and taste.
Jiminâs breath hitches as you swirl your tongue around the tip of his member, the salty taste mingling with the slickness of your saliva. His fingers suddenly tighten in your hair, but he remains obediently quiet, the tension in his body evident as he struggles to hold back his angelic voice.
You shift to Jungkook, taking him into your mouth with a slow, deliberate sucking. His quiet sounds of pleasure are like music to your ears, the low hums of approval vibrating. His hands rest on your shoulders, his grip firm but not forceful, guiding you as you take him deeper, feeling the way his body responds to every movement of your tongue.
At the same time, your hand reaches out to Jimin, wrapping around his throbbing length. You start stroking him with a steady rhythm, making sure to keep him engaged, the sensation of your fingers gliding over his slick skin keeping his arousal high. Jiminâs breath hitches, his eyes half-lidded with desire as he watches you.
The two of them try their best to stay quiet, but the occasional gasp, lust-filled phrases or whispered name of yours slips out, betraying their growing need.Â
âYouâre so good at this PD nimâŚâ
âY/N, youâre so fucking fineâŚâ
âSuch a good girl, Y/NâŚâ
âFuck, right thereâŚâ
The thrill of their restraint only heightens your own arousal, driving you to explore them further, your lips and tongue working in tandem to bring them closer to the edge.
While working your mouth over Jungkook, you feel Jiminâs hand sliding up your body, his fingers brushing against your wet skin before cupping your breast. His thumb grazes over your nipple, teasing it to a hardened peak, sending shivers of pleasure coursing through you. The dual feelingâJiminâs touch on your breast and Jungkookâs heat filling your mouthâintensifies the moment, driving you to pleasure them both with renewed focus.
The tension in the atmosphere thickens, all your quiet breaths turning into ragged gasps. You can feel the subtle changes in their bodies, the way their muscles tighten, and the way their grips on you grow firmer. The anticipation builds, and you know theyâre close, teetering on the edge of release.
Jimin is the first to break the silence, his voice low and filled with need. âY/N⌠can I come on your chest?â His eyes are dark with lust, the words almost a plea.
Jungkook isnât far behind, his voice breathless and shaky as he adds, âAnd IâI want to come in your mouth. Is that okay?â
The heat in their words sends a shiver down your spine. You pause, looking up at them, their faces flushed with desire.Â
âY-Yes thatâs fine with me,â You nod, your consent clear in your eyes and the slight smile that tugs at your lips.
With their requests granted, you resume your ministrations with renewed intensity. Your hands work in tandem, stroking their members with a firm, steady rhythm while your tongue flicks and teases them both. The taste of them lingers on your tongue, salty and intoxicating, driving you to push them further, to bring them to the edge of ecstasy.
Their breaths quicken, and you can tell theyâre both struggling to hold back, to savor the moment as long as possible. But the pleasure is overwhelming, and soon their restraint begins to falter.
Jungkookâs voice is the first to crack, a desperate whisper as he warns you, âIâm close⌠so closeâŚâ
Jimin removes his hand from your hair. Instead, Jungkookâs hand, adorned with intricate tattoos and the bold "ARMY" inked across his knuckles, slides from your shoulder to your hair this time. The grip is firm and possessive, his fingers weaving into your strands with a fierce, almost primal hold. The veins beneath his tattooed skin pulsate as he uses his arm to guide you closer, pushing himself deeper into you with each powerful thrust. His tattooed bicep flexes with every movement, demonstrating his strength and control, while the rhythmic thrusts become more urgent.
Jimin's breath hitches as soft, erotic moans escape his lips, each sound laced with urgency to let go. His voice quivers, with a strained yet sensual whisper, âMe too⌠Iâm going to comeâŚâ The words tumble out in a series of ragged breaths
With one last, deliberate stroke of your hand and a final suck, you push them both over the edge.
âF-Fuck!â Jimin lets out a guttural groan as he releases, his hot seed spilling onto your breasts, painting your skin with his pleasure. The warmth of it spreads across your breasts, the sensation almost surreal as you continue to stroke him, milking out every last drop.
At the same time, Jungkookâs hips buck slightly as he comes, the hot, salty taste of his release flooding your mouth. You swallow him down eagerly, your tongue swirling around him to milk him of every last bit. The taste of him lingers, warm and slightly bitter, but satisfying in a way that leaves you wanting more.
The sounds they makeâthose broken moans, the gasps of pleasureâecho in your ears, a symphony of gratification. Their bodies tremble with the aftershocks of their orgasms, their hands gentle but insistent as they guide you through the final moments of their release.
When theyâve finally come down from the high, their breathing ragged but steadying, they look down at you with a mix of awe and satisfaction. The sight of you, your chest slick with Jiminâs release and your lips still wet from Jungkook seems to stir something deeper in themâa shared sense of intimacy that goes beyond mere physical pleasure. Your fingers move instinctively, collecting Jiminâs release and bringing it to your lips, savoring the taste as you clean yourself, erasing the evidence of what just transpired. The sensation is both surreal and thrilling, the intimacy of the moment lingering in the air.
Jungkook's voice breaks through the haze, his tone a mix of innocence and desire. âPD-nim, can we do more with you?â His eyes sparkle with the same enthusiasm youâve seen during filming, making it nearly impossible to deny him.
âH-Huh!? OhâŚâ you stammer, caught off guard. That look in his eyesâitâs almost impossible to resist. But a small voice in the back of your mind reminds you that you should be heading back before the other staff starts wondering where you are.
âCâmon, weâll be quick!â Jimin adds, his voice smooth and coaxing, making it even harder to stick to your resolve. âWe can eat you out, or we can penetrââ
Before he can finish, another voice cuts through the tension, startling you. âOh⌠so thatâs what you guys were doing?â
You turn your head sharply to see Taehyung standing there, now wearing swim trunks, with a smirk playing on his lips. Your heart races, the sudden realization hitting you like a wave. âOh my God, I forgot about TaehyungâŚâ you gasp, instinctively trying to cover yourself, though itâs far too late for modesty.
âHey, I thought you were going to head to bed?â Jimin narrows his eyes at the slightly younger man. He mustâve been watching you all this entire time, he thinks.
He chuckles, an amused glint in his eyes as he takes in the scene. âI thought you guys were still playing in the pool or something⌠but Iâm not surprised things ended up this way. You two are always up to shit like this.â He rolls his eyes and shakes his head, clearly unimpressed yet intrigued.
âHuh?â you manage to squeak out, your mind reeling. Always up to shit like this? Whatâs that supposed to meanâ
Taehyungâs smirk deepens, and he steps closer. âAnyways, Iâm bored. Let me join in too,â he says casually with a boxy smile, as if itâs the most natural thing in the world. âI wonât disappoint heh~âÂ
He winks. HE WINKS!Â
The three members of the BTS maknae line look at you deviously, waiting to pounce on you at your command.
âI donât think we should beââ
âAre you sure?â Jimin and Jungkook say in unison.
âI⌠â The title of the show is going to come back to haunt you.
âIâm not sureâŚ?â You canât find yourself to say no, having already gone to the deep end.
You will be closer to getting fired if you get caught at this rate, but to hell with it, âOkay, fine!âÂ
And immediately, theyâre all over your body, reigniting the hidden flame in your heart that reminds you how much you loved them as a fan years before. You wonât survive this.
âCome over here,â Taehyung murmurs, his voice deep and commanding as he settles against the pillows of the daybed. He props himself up, making sure heâs comfortable, then motions for you to crawl in front of him.
Your heart races as you move into position, with Jungkook and Jimin on each side of you, their eyes dark with lust. The daybed is deep enough that youâre perfectly nestled between them.
As you get closer to Taehyung, you feel his hands sliding up your thighs, tugging lightly at the waistband of your bikini bottoms. You gasp softly, a thrill running through you as he pulls them down slowly, exposing your wetness. The sensation sends a shiver through you, heightening your anticipation and eagerness to get this over with. You lift your hips slightly to help him slide them off completely, leaving you fully exposed.
Taehyungâs eyes darken as he takes in the sight of you, his tongue flicking out to wet his lips. âSo beautiful,â he murmurs, his voice husky with desire.
He props himself up with the pillows behind his head, his hands settling on your hips as he guides you closer. âSit on my face,â he tells you, his tone leaving no room for hesitation.
Your breath catches at the bold command, but the heat in his eyes, the way his hands grip your hips, sends a rush of excitement through you. You move to straddle him, your heart pounding as you position yourself over his face. Jungkook and Jimin remain close, their hands brushing over your body, adding to the growing heat between you all.
As you lower yourself onto his waiting mouth, the first touch of his tongue against your most sensitive spot sends a shockwave of pleasure through your entire body.Â
âA-Ah~ T-TaehyungâŚâ You gasp, your fingers gripping the daybed as Taehyungâs tongue begins to work its magic, teasing and tasting you with skillful precision.
Taehyungâs tongue explores you, from your clit to your entrance. His mouth working in a rhythm that leaves you breathless, and your body trembling with the intensity of it all.
Jimin and Jungkook are on either side of you, their hands moving to your breasts, where they each take a breast in their grasp. Their mouths soon follow, lips closing over your nipples as they begin to suck and tease you with their tongues once more. The dual sensation of Taehyungâs mouth on you and the boysâ attention on your breasts sends your mind reeling, pleasure coursing through you to unleash an orgasm. But you need to be patient and let it continue consuming you.
Jungkookâs hand slides down, tugging off Taehyungâs trunks with a practiced ease before wrapping his fingers around Taehyungâs impressive length. The sight makes your eyes widen, but you arenât entirely surprised by their actionsâafter all, youâve seen how touchy BTS are with one another. Even filming earlier in the day and even back in the States. But this? Seeing them work together to push you to the brink of pleasure only makes you even hornier.
And Taehyungâs dick⌠itâs massive, much bigger than the other two. The way his tan skin contrasts with the thick, veined shaft is mesmerizing, almost too much to take in. You canât help but imagine what it would feel like inside you, making you ache with the anticipation of trying it next time.
Jimin, not to be outdone, reaches over to stroke Jungkook, his touch slow and deliberate, making sure to keep him just as aroused. His free hand slips down to touch himself, fingers wrapping around his own length as he matches the pace. The sensation of their hands moving in tandem, coupled with the attention theyâre lavishing on you, makes your body tremble with need.
You ride Taehyungâs face, grinding down against his mouth as his tongue works magic on you, drawing out every ounce of pleasure he can. Your hands clutch the edges of the daybed for support, your breath coming in ragged gasps as you lose yourself in the sensations theyâre giving you. Since youâre facing outwards, Taehyungâs hands slide down to grab your ass, squeezing the soft flesh as he pulls you even closer, deepening the connection between his mouth and your most sensitive spot. His grip is firm and possessive, his fingers digging into your skin as he devours you with renewed intensity. He gives it a slap, which makes you cringe before you go back to indulging in the pleasure.
The feeling of the two menâs mouths on your breasts, Taehyungâs tongue inside you, and the sight of their hands pleasuring each other is almost too much to bear. The pleasure builds to an unbearable peak, your body quivering with the need to release.
Jimin and Jungkook suck harder on your nipples, their teeth grazing them just enough to send jolts of pleasure straight to your core. Taehyungâs tongue flicks and swirls with expert precision, driving you closer and closer to the edge.
And then, finally, it all becomes too much. The pleasure explodes within you, sending you spiraling into an intense orgasm that leaves you gasping for breath. Your body tenses, your thighs clenching around Taehyungâs head as you ride out the waves of ecstasy, the sensation amplified by the boysâ continued ministrations.
As the last tremors of your orgasm fade, you collapse forward slightly, your body spent and trembling. Taehyung gently guides you off him, his lips slick with your arousal, and you fall onto the daybed, your chest heaving as you try to catch your breath. Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook quickly follow, their own bodies shuddering as they reach their peaks, their releases mingling, landing onto each others bodies or the fabric beneath them.
Now the three of you lay there, breathless and spent, with limbs piled on top of each other. The air is thick with the scent of sex and satisfaction, however a yearning for more still remains. The outdoor area is quiet, save for the sound of your heavy breathing, as you all come down from the high of your shared pleasure.
Jungkook leans in close, his voice low and filled with unfulfilled desire. âIâm so eager to fuck you, but Iâll wait until tomorrow after the itinerary is done,â he murmurs, his eyes smoldering with lust as he looks down at you.
Jimin, still tenderly stroking your skin, adds with a soft smile, âWe donât want you getting into trouble, PD-nim. Weâll be patient.â
You manage a weak smile, your mind swirling with the aftershocks of what just happened. âHow have the staff not conveniently come in to check on us?â you wonder aloud, your voice shaky with exhaustion and disbelief.
The three of them exchange a glance, a shared understanding passing between them.Â
Donât say that the staff are aware that theyâre doing thisâŚ!? Taehyungâs words from earlier were already⌠odd, but you decide not to think too hard on it right now. You need to head back anyway, so letâs keep this drama-free, you think to yourself. Wouldnât be the first time you hear about idols doing these things.
They begin to clean you up, wiping away the evidence of your intense encounter. Theyâre gentle, their touches soothing as they take care of you, ensuring that youâre comfortable before helping you to your feet to get dressed.
They walk you to the door, each of them pressing a lingering kiss to your lips before they see you out, their eyes filled with satisfaction. You step out, your mind reeling from the events that just transpired.
âOh my godâŚâ you say to yourself in a whisper.
As you walk away from the daybed, you canât help but wonder how you ended up in this situationâtangled up with the three members of BTS in a way you never could have imagined. The memory of their hands, their mouths, their words lingers with you, a heady reminder of the connection youâve just shared. And though you know the risks, the dangers of what youâve done, you canât bring yourself to regret a single moment.
With a deep breath, you start heading back to your accommodation, telling yourself you still have more days of this showâs filming to go. And more chance encounters with them as well.
-
-
-
The End????
A/N: HAPPY SURPRISE ONE SHOT DROP! OKAY. ALSO I HAD PLANNED TO BLUE BALL YOU GUYS AND NOT GIVE YOU A TAE SCENE BUT RAE SAID I SHOULD WRITE IT SO I DID! I've seen all y'all thirsting over are you sure?! and honestly, the maknae line really FED US SO WELL WITH THIS SHOW. also never in my life did i think there would be no censoring of their bodies, but thank you god for allowing us to indulge in their beauty and cute antics lmao. if you somehow survived this and made it to the end, thank you for reading and please let me know what you think or like bc i was going THROUGH IT writing this 𼴠if it wasnât good, i am so sorry for wasting your time. đ
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⸠Any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated! ⸠For the ones that arenât okay with reblogging with a review, commenting on this, or sending a message, please feel free to send an anonymous ask where you can send in what you think! ⸠ask box link here to let me know what you think OR join the taglist for future works!⸠fic masterlist
#bts#bts fic#vminkook#jimin#jungkook#are you sure#jeon jungkook#park jimin#kim taehyung#vminkook fic#bts smut#jimin smut#jungkook smut#taehyung smut#jungkook x reader#jimin x reader#taehyung x reader#bts poly au#bts poly#smut#smut fic#taehyung#bts imagines#bts reactions#bts x reader
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10, 18 and 26 for the ao3 asks! Wishing you all the best for your travels friend đĽ°
hiya pal âşď¸ thank u thank u!
10. Largest fandom you read for?
i think itâs gotta be HP, and even if we go into the smaller branches inside it, i think Drarry is still pretty massive?? this question baffled me because fandom sizes are hard to tell so i looked at how many fics there were on ao3 for fandoms i read and holy shit itâs definitely Drarry đ (followed by Les Mis, and then BBC Merlin, if you measure by amount of works on ao3)
18. How many works did you bookmark this year?
ooooooh! so i am historically really bad at bookmarks and one of my goals this year was to be BETTER at it. still, i reckon i probably remembered to bookmark maybe 1/3 of the total amount of fics i read đ
my total of bookmarks for 2022 was 149 and i imagine iâll be adding a good 5 or so to that total before the 31st haha
26. Did you do any beta reading for anyone?
i sure did!! now⌠i probably did a ton in like the first few months of the year that i totally forgot about due to Bad Brain đŤ but i know i had an early look at a bit of gorgeous Regulus goodness by @ghaniblue, i helped @teacup-tai with some grindelore, i did a little bit for @vivantesopales and their gorgeous vampire fic, and i also had the pleasure of looking through @the-starryknight and @gryffindorhearts cluefest entry!! a ton of good reading really đđź
ao3 wrapped [reader edition]
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Show me where it hurts (part 1)
Miguel O'Hara x spiderwoman!reader
(AO3 Mirror), Part 2, Main Masterlist
summary: Miguel's acting weird, and you make it your mission to find out exactly what's going on.
warnings: no warnings for this chap, pg-13, swearing and canon level violence. smut next chapter xoxo
a/n: this is a combination of 2 asks and this post I saw on here a while ago: flirty/ snarky fem reader, Miguel during a ""rut"" (I don't know if it counts as a rut really, but its to do with his animal instincts/DNA) and Lyla playing matchmaker. I had so much fun writing this, enjoy :D
(i wrote this pre seeing spiderverse 2, so i think characterisation is a little off, esp for Lyla, apologies! I'll fix it in my upcoming fics)
edit: I use the term "bichita" which I have been informed can be read not as I intended in Spanish. I'm not a native speaker so I want to apologise in advance. I'm doing more research for my future fics and leaving this up as a testament to my stupidity. Spanish speakers, feel free to correct me / clown my ass in the comments. My bad guys :(
wc: 3.6k
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You think Miguel is avoiding you.Â
One of your closest friends, giving you the runaround for months, it seems. Calling the two of you close friends is a little extreme, sure. You've only known O'Hara for two years, and been in love with him for slightly less than that, thank you very much. And yes, he refuses to call you by anything but your last name. And the last time you saw him he wouldn't so much as look at you, but that was besides the point.Â
"..the point," You tell Lyla, in between exasperated bites of cereal, "... is that aren't elite forces of spiderpeople supposed to, you know, have some spiderpeople kick ass once in a while? And where exactly is our fearless leader? I haven't seen O'Hara's scary ass in weeks, and I'm starting to miss it."
She gives you a look, one that says this isn't what I'm programmed for , but you pointedly ignore it.Â
"His ass, by the way." You clarify. "I very specifically miss his ass. Remind me to get his routine. I know girls that would kill forâŚ"
"How the fuck did you get in here?" A voice croaks. You turn behind you and see Miguel, not in his suit, but wrapped up in a blanket like he's just woken up. And he looks rough, like a train ran him over on the way here: puffy eyes, splotchy skin, tension kneaded into his brow.Â
"Wow." Your spoon drops into the milk. "You look like shit.."Â
He furrows his brow even deeper, if that was possible. " Mierda. You shouldn't be here."Â
"This isn't quite the welcome party I was expecting, man. I'm the only one to actually turn up to one of your meetings, and this is what I get?"Â
"I thought I told Lyla to cancel," He mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose.Â
"Cancel? Since when do you miss a chance to talk about rules and protocol?"Â
"I don't have time for this-"Â
"-and I'm not leaving without a proper explanation. Is everything okay?"Â
"It's actually way worse now you're here." He deadpans.Â
"Haha ." You turn to Lyla. "You drop everything to travel halfway across the multiverse and this asshole won't even say thanks."Â
"Thanks, but this asshole needs you to leave. Now."Â
This is the most he's spoken to you in forever, and you hate that you like it. You just want his attention, however it comes. If that means dragging this out so maybe he acknowledges you, touches you, looks at you - then so be it. Squinting, you get closer to him. You scan his face for anything to latch onto. You put a hand on his shoulder, still searching.Â
"You sure you're alright? You know you can tell me if-"Â
"Si, si." He grits his teeth, looking away. "M'just fine. I'll explainâŚ. later."
"...because I'm your right hand man?" You grin, poking at his brow. "Stop frowning so much Miguel, you're gonna ruin that pretty face of yours."
He flushes, nervous, and swats you away. "-what? N-No. You're not my right hand man and I like my face just the way it is. Now, leave. "
Making your way to the door, you tap your nose teasingly. "You know where to find me!"Â
When the door closes with a click, you make your way down the corridor, and stop in your tracks when you hear it. It's muffled, but with the strain of your supersenses you can make out Miguel's voice just beyond the wall.Â
"I justâŚ. don't want her to see me like this⌠Lyla, it's not happening⌠I can't tell herâŚ." Tell her what, exactly?Â
Resolutely, you make up your mind. Miguel O'Hara's got a secret. And before you leave for home, you're gonna do everything in your God given power to wear him down and find out.Â
~~~
Despite his insistence otherwise, you liked to think of yourself as O'Hara's right hand man - and most of the other spiderpeople thought so too. You were one of the very first he recruited, after crash landing onto your earth like a spiderman-shaped meteor; the two of you were inseparable. Miguel was stubborn and headstrong and thought he was right all the time. Infuriatingly, he was, but that didn't stop you from telling him to get his head out of his own ass when his ego grew too big.Â
He was different around you, you think. Softer, sometimes. Harsher, other times. He told you what you needed to hear whether you wanted to or not; the result of mutual respect and agonising persistence. Slowly, you had chipped away his hard exterior; the one he built because he thought he needed to push people away. In that regard, you were similar, but this need manifested in you like a weed - an awful, awful compulsion to joke and laugh at your own expense, to keep others at an arm's length. You had spent your whole life picking and pruning away at yourself, looking for perfection. Even after all this, multiverse-hopping and fighting alongside people who were the closest things you had to friends , it wasn't enough. There was still something missing.Â
Ironically, Miguel had told you something similar the one of the last times you had spoken. You had fucked up a mission, well and truly. In the aftermath, all you can remember is coming back to base, limping on Jessica's arm.Â
"She's hurt!" She cries out. Lyla materialises and leads you both to the med bay, inspecting any visible wounds. There's a deep laceration, sticky with blood, at the base of your stomach. You shift onto the bed and hiss with pain.Â
Miguel is quick to follow, face twisted with confusion, pain, sadness. Even in your haze, you feel the tension radiating off of him as he drags over a cart of supplies.Â
"What happened?" He strains.Â
"I don't even⌠it happened so fast. We got ambushed, and all of a sudden I'm on the ground. I wasn't thinking straight and⌠" She sobs. "...she jumped in front of me. God, she saved my life-"Â
"-wasn't your fault, Jess." You croak, trying to sit up. "And I'm fine. Just need to walk it offâŚ"
"Sit, bichita," His nickname makes you frown, despite yourself, and you settle back down. "Lyla, what's the damage?"
Your vision goes spotty, and Lyla's voice barely registers. All you can feel is searing pain in your side, but Miguel is warm, oh so warm. You clutch his arms, and force him to look you in the eye.Â
"M'ready, Miguel." He nods weakly, but you don't think he understands. "I mean it . I can lead, j-just need another chance and I won't let you down⌠Jess, tell him that I can-"Â
"It's okay. I believe you. You just need to relax for me, hmm?" He clutches at your hand, tight, and it's like you're the only two people in the world. "You did good. I promise."
Faintly, you nod. You feel a pinch at your arm, and Jessica's there, with an empty vial of something in her hands. The pain washes over you, and you fight to keep your eyes open. In those last few moments of light, you swear you feel a shaky kiss pressed to your temple.Â
"Sleep, mi bichito amoroso. Sleep."
When you come to, you're still in the medbay, moonlight streaming through. Well, artificial moonlight. Time worked a little differently here, something Miguel explained to you a while ago - God knows what about dilation and quantum interference. It makes you smile now, remembering his frustration as he tried to explain to no avail. You were the only spiderman this side of the multiverse without a degree in quantum tech, you had said with a lopsided smile.Â
You move to sit, and pain shoots up your side. Groaning, you push through it, determined to get out of this bed and find the others. As if on cue, Miguel walks in, almost leaping towards you.Â
"You should⌠mierda ! You should be resting in bed."
You pout as you stumble into his chest. He hooks an arm around you and leads you back. You clamber in, sighing. "M'fine, O'Hara."
"Your guts were halfway out of your body less than 24 hours ago. So stay put, or you might give me another heart attack."
You scoff, incredulous. "You were worried?"Â
He shrugs. " 'Course I was."
"Why? You know I'm practically indestructible." You give him a shit eating grin, and poke the frown appearing at his brow. He doesn't bat you away like he usually does.Â
"Famous last words, bichita." He sighs. You can't speak a lick of Spanish, but you know he only calls you that word when you've frustrated him to his limit. So you take it as a win, for now.Â
He drops into the chair next to you. "How are you feeling?"Â
"Just peachy, dollface." You wink, and he doesn't so much as groan.Â
"I'm being serious. You went through something pretty traumaticâŚ"
"You want me to tell you it hurts, so, so bad, daddy? " You pout and flutter your eyelashes mockingly. Miguel shifts in his seat, unable to make eye contact.Â
"That's not what I meant."
"What did you mean, O'Hara? I feel fine. And in a couple of days, I'll feel even better, and I'll be up and about. I can finish what we started and-"Â
"-no, absolutely not." He frowns. "A couple of days? I'm sending you home-"Â
"You can't do that! On whose fucking authority?"
"On the authority of you almost fucking died ! Keeping you safe is our priority right now-"Â
"God, is this my punishment? This is a low blow, O'Hara. You know how hard I've worked for this: months of surveillance and intel a-and I did everything by the book, just like you told me to." You croak. "I fucked up . I know that, and I feel terrible. Give me a chance to make things right; that's all I'm asking. I can do it, I know it. "
He looks at you for a moment, something heavy in his expression. His face contorted, he strips you down to the bone with just his gaze. His voice is so quiet, you almost miss it.Â
"....you're still trying to prove yourself, aren't you?"
Honestly, it catches you off guard. You don't even know what the fuck that means, let alone why he said it.
"I don't⌠I d-don'tâŚ?"Â
"They all love you. Respect you. More than me I think, sometimes." He chuckles at that. "You're good at what you do. The best . What else are you trying to prove? What else do you need ?"Â
Your throat goes dry. You couldn't speak if you wanted to.Â
"I'm not punishing you. You made a mistake, but you don't need to be crucified for it. I just want to keep you safe. I can't⌠we can't lose you."
"Miguel-"
"-this isn't a discussion. And I'm not trying to argue, although I know how much you like to argue." He inches closer, cupping your face gently. You try to move away, blinking back tears. But his hands are steady and he strokes your jaw with so much tenderness you think you hear your heart break. He's pretty, so pretty. You don't deserve him, you think. "There'll be time to fight, bichita. Rest. That's your mission right now."
"C-can't sleep." You breathe. "It hurts."Â
Miguel pauses, head tilted like he's thinking. He taps your shoulder. "Scoot over."
You do as he says, and he slips into the bed with you. It's a tight fit, but he manages, placing you on his chest with an arm gently around your shoulders. You bury your face in his hoodie, sniffling and hoping he doesn't notice you choking back sobs. Absentmindedly, he settles into a rhythm, gentle breathing and playing with your hair, soothing you softly. He pretends he can't hear the tears.Â
"M'gonna stay here until you're asleep. For as long as you need."
You nod, unable to speak for fear of breaking down.Â
~~~
The days after felt like a blur. You woke up to Miguel gone, and an ache in your heart. Jess visits as much as she can, and Ben calls you a couple times, to see if you're okay. Peter B brings Mayday, and she clambers all over your bed, bringing some life into the room. Miguel doesn't visit per se - you hear whispers of him, Lyla visiting in his stead for comprehensive status updates. Once, you wake up in the night to see him on the adjacent chair, head lolling in deep sleep. He looks peaceful, calm - one of the first times you haven't seen his brow furrowed with worry. Of course, he's gone by the morning.Â
The very last time you saw him, he opened the portal home. It was weird, after everything, but if Miguel felt the same you wouldn't know. Talking at a thousand miles a minute, he alternates between assuring you they'll be fine without you and situation reports from spider people all across the multiverse. Things you'd missed whilst bedbound, asking for advice before you left. He trusted your judgement and the thought warmed your heart, almost making you forget that he completely brushed past the previous nights before.Â
You still remember the last thing he had said to you, which would've been weeks ago, now.Â
"...and if you need anything, and I mean anything, you call me directly. Not Jess, not Ben, and certainly not Peter B. Call me, and I'll answer, I promise. You need help, you need advice, you just need someone to talk to, then-"
"-I call you. I get it, O'Hara. Will do." He opens the portal, watching as you walk towards it. He can't take his eyes off of you, even though you can't see him. At the last moment you turn, and run towards him. You almost knock him over with a hug. Burying his head in the crook of your shoulder, he hugs you back, ever careful of your injury. Separating, your smile almost knocks him over again. Weakly, he smiles back as you head through the portal, back home.Â
You're left with that feeling, of his arms around your body - warm, so warm - as you putter about by the switchboard. After careful deliberation (you were really, really bored ) you'd taken to manage the Multi Modal Multiversal Switchboard - as aptly named by Miguel. Everyone else called it the Big Red Phone of course, but he had insisted on calling it by its proper name . Every. Time.Â
The thought makes you chuckle as you call up Peter B. His icon flashes on the screen in front of you. With a click, he picks up the call, his face materialising holographically in front you. A little hand reaches up and tugs at his ear.Â
"Ow⌠ouch ⌠Dad's on the phone, honey."
"Aww! How's my favourite Parker doing?"Â
"Not bad, actually! MJ just made us probably the best burger this side of New York-"
"-sorry, Peter? Me and May are trying to have a conversation." You hear her giggle in the background. Her gap toothed grin pops into frame and she babbles excitedly. "...yeah, exactly May. That's literally what I said."
"Okay, okay, that's enough." He puts the toddler down and watches her scurry away. "You're feeling better, I see."
"Yeah, back in action. Thought I'd check in."
"All good here." He squints, trying to take in your surroundings. "You're at HQ?"Â
You hum.
"Could've sworn Lyla cancelledâŚ"
"Yeah, didn't get the memo. But I think something's wrong with O'Hara."
He gives you a weird look. "Uhhh, what makes you think that?"Â
"He won't even look at me. Was it something I said? Something I did?" Your eyes narrow. "...what do you know, Peter?"
"Nothing! Absolutely nothing!" He scoffs, a little too quickly, clutching his chest like you've offended him. He's stared down some of the scariest villains around, but the look you give him is truly chilling. "Just⌠uhhh. You didn't hear this from me."Â
"NaturallyâŚ"
"We tracked 'em down, the guys that ambushed you and Jessica."
"The Sinister Six? From Earth-215?"
"Yeah, but by the time we got there, it was just Kraven and some of his goons. Miguel got there first, andâŚ." He gulps. "He was pissed. Trashed the whole place looking for the rest of 'em. Beat Kraven half to death and we had to pull him off."
"Shit."
"Yeah, it was pretty rough. Never seen him like that before. And just generally? He'd been weirdly quiet, a little grumpy, more aggressive on missions. I don't know what's gotten into him."
"Hmmm. Thanks, Pete."
"No problem, sweetheart. And if the big guy asks⌠"
"...this didn't come from you, I know." Weakly, you smile. "Say hi to my favourite Parkers, for me."Â
" 'Course I will. We should celebrate, if you're back officially. Mine and MJ's is always open."
"Good to know. I'll see you around."
He waves goodbye, and the hologram clicks off. Sighing, you try to piece together what you've just heard.Â
Miguel: acting weird. Well, you knew that already. Aggressive was new. And Lyla? She had canceled, but not for you, for some reason. An honest mistake, perhaps. But Lyla doesn't make mistakesâŚÂ
You stew for a couple of hours, puttering about the switchboard, twiddling your thumbs. Something's wrong, and for some reason you're afraid to see him. To have him look straight through you, again, when you ask to do the same. Show me where it hurts. Tell me how to make it better. Â
On the way there, you chew your lip in anticipation. In the corridor, you're outside the door to his place, hand hovering above the door. To knock, to call. In the harsh fluorescent light, you hesitate.Â
"Lyla?" Nervously, you sink down onto the floor. It's hard to explain, but you don't expect her to actually come; to materialise in front of you.Â
"How can I assist you?" She says with a ding.Â
"Uhh⌠hi. Just wanted to talk." You pause, clicking your tongue. "Can you be honest with me?"Â
"I can only be honest with you. It is not in my programming to lie, unless specified by my owner."
"Sure. Cool. It's about him, actually. Is Miguel okay?"Â
She tilts her head, as if processing your request. "Okay is a subjective term. Is Mr O'Hara alive? Yes. Is Mr O'Hara physically well? Yes. By those terms, he is okay ."
Too vague for your own liking. "I guess I meant more⌠his emotional state. To the best of your knowledge⌠in your opinion , Lyla: is Miguel okay?"Â
"...I believe Mr O'Hara is experiencing some emotional turmoil."
You frown. "Oh. Do you know why?"Â
"Mr O'Hara has instructed me not to disclose that information with you."
"Fair enough. But you don't have to tell me⌠I could just ask questions?"Â
She nods. "There is nothing in my programming that prevents me from answering some questions within certain parameters."Â
"Did I do something? Not just today but⌠last time I was here. Did I say something to hurt or upset him? Is that why he's acting weird?"
"No." She says blankly. "And yes. I suppose it is⌠complicated." She gestures around that word.Â
"I'm a little confused, Lyla."
She sits next to you, on the cool tile. Not that she could feel it, but it feels more intimate - like two friends talking. The extent of Lyla's consciousness, you weren't sure of. Was she alive? To you, she might as well be. Could she think, feel, emote? Maybe, maybe not. You weren't smart enough to understand the nuances of her programming. But you were human enough to see it in her - something glittering beyond the surface.Â
It could be projection, but you swear her voice is softer. "He has a name for you. When he speaks about you, and to you. I have it logged in my memory database. Do you know what that is?" You shake your head.Â
Lyla opens up her palm and projects videos and images - little Miguel's popping up in her palm, tinny and gruff voices ringing through the hallway. They say your name, shout your name, whisper it. Some say other things in Spanish. Curse words had always been your assumption, and he had given you no reason to think otherwise. Now, having it played back to you, you hear a tenderness in his voice you would've missed. Words and phrases that come up again and againâŚ
"Bichita." She repeats. "Bichito del amor. Mi bichito amoroso. "
You shake your head, still confounded. "...I don't speak Spanish, Lyla."Â
"Little bug. Sweetheart. Lovebug. My little lovebug." She clears her throat. "I believe they are terms of endearment."
Steadfast, she directs you towards her palm. Another small Miguel appears, and you think it's him from this morning.Â
"I thought I told you not to let anyone in, Lyla?"Â
"I did not let her in. She let herself in using the code you previously gave her, Mr O'Hara."
"Yeah, for emergencies. Fuck. Mi bichita, too smart for her own good."
"...If you are in distress, I believe she would understand, Mr O'Hara."
"I just think it's too much. I don't want her to see me like this."Â
"According to Alchemax files, previous subjects showing this kind of aggression benefitted from-"
"Lyla, it's not happening, no chance. I can't tell her."
The figure blinks out of her palm. "Mr O'Hara has forbid me from telling you about certain things."
"...but not from showing me." Your eyes meet hers. You give her a watery smile. "Thank you."Â
With a hint of a smile, she nods and is gone from the corridor. You are left alone, with nothing but your thoughts of little lovebugs rattling around in your brain.
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#miguel o hara x reader#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel o'hara#spiderman 2099#spiderman 2099 x reader#across the spiderverse#kat_writesđź#this gif is fucking crazy btw
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Studious Seduction
Oh My Girl Arin x m! reader
10k words
Thanks to @i-am-lifeform24 for help with editing
Part One | Part Two
---
Read on AO3
"This seems like a bad idea, Miss Choi."
"It's a terrible idea, professor. Which is why we're doing it."Â
Without a doubt, thereâs very little chance that you wonât be spotted here. Heading up a stairwell that leads up to who knows where is hardly ideal, especially with the sudden rain shower that's started to pour above, foreshadowing this bad decision made in tandem.Â
Yet, youâve never been one to make the best choices. An inappropriate relationship with one of your students has to be ranked at the top of the list, wrong for a myriad of reasonsâall that could get you fired. Still, it somehow continues unimpeded, knowing the risks, both of you doubling down even.Â
At this point, youâre not sure if youâre a bad influence on Arin, or if sheâs a bad influence on you.Â
To make matters worse, todayâs outfit of choice is this poor excuse for a school uniform that draws all your attention. A risky little ensemble that consists of a white shirt and black tie combo that only pretends to be proper, covering very little of her midriff, as well as this dark little pleated miniskirt so short it might as well not exist for how little of her thighs it hides. It leaves more of her creamy skin uncovered, and being her professor, you know it's not appropriate to lookâyet you canât stop yourself from doing so anyways.Â
And then thereâs those dark frames on her face, the cherry on top that puts this whole thing together, that takes her from an innocent, responsible student more than invested in class, to this devilish vixen who struts into your office, demanding to be ruined, never taking no for an answer.Â
Thereâs almost no room for imagination, offering you such an obscene view when Arin heads up the stairs, purposefully walking in front of you with slow, deliberate steps. You can see the shape of her perfectly round butt cheeks exposed, her tight fitting thong doing anything but covering up delicious pale flesh. Of course, she knows exactly where your line of sight goes when you walk behind her, making an effort to shake her wide hips a little more with each step, giving you a shameless view of her tight, succulent ass.
This outfit is every dress code violation she could possibly make rolled into one.Â
But who's going to admonish her? You? Who can't even think logically at the moment when all your thoughts have turned to mush? Not a chance when all you want to do is slip your hand between her thighs too delicious to resist until she makes a mess on your fingers, the floor, and anywhere else that becomes collateral damage.
Right now, you have the perfect opportunity for exactly that. Youâve lost track of how many steps youâve walked, but eventually, the stairwell comes to an end, with a set of metal double doors that leads up to the rooftop. As good a place as any other, you think, especially when there's little reason anyone else would want to venture towards the top level during this never-ending rainstorm.
âHere?â you question, when Arin presses your back against the cold wall just underneath the final level of the stairwell. A solitary gaze into her eyes is all you get before she wraps her hands around your neck and plants a heated, sloppy kiss on your lips. She nods in affirmation, but doesnât give you the time to catch your breath, slipping her tongue into your mouth to make an attempt to taste all of you.
âIt's really open here. Pretty easy to get caught," you tell her when she moves from your lips, placing wet kisses across your jawline, moving lower down to your neck.Â
"That's the point, professor." Arin places your hands firmly around her waist, leading you exactly where she wants your touch. Her legs spread a little further apart so you can push her skirt up, revealing just how tiny of a thong she's wearing. "I don't care if we get caught. Make a mess of meâ"Â
She sighs when your fingertips press against her clothed core, so aroused you can already feel her slick leaking through the flimsy fabric. You add more pressure in response, rewarded with Arin's soft gasps against the sensitive skin of your neck.
"We could get in a lot of trouble, Yewon," you breathe out, barely paying attention to anything beyond this. In fact, you hardly care about what could go wrong either, so consumed with lust, one singular desire that Arin shares, and your fingertips ache to slip underneath these panties and sink right in.Â
"When has that ever stopped us before?"Â
She has a point.Â
This is risky as it gets. And thatâs what makes it all more exciting.Â
Without wasting any more time, you slip a finger underneath the fabric of her panties, into her ridiculously warm cunt. A second one slides in right after, and soaked as she already is, barely puts up any resistance, the entrance of her tight little hole eagerly swallowing you up.
âProfessorââ
A few strokes is all you manage before Arin throws her head back in delight, rolling her hips, moaning from nothing more but your fingers slowly pumping in and out of her needy cunt.Â
Arin clings to your shoulder as the tempo picks up, her other hand quickly traveling down your torso until it reaches your pants. She finds the button to your slacks right away, unzipping them to slip a hand inside your boxers. You let out a groan when she runs a gentle hand along the length of your shaft, slow and teasingâuntil she wraps her entire hand around it and grips you tight.
âYewon..." A wave of pleasure rushes through your whole body. She's stroking your cock with such a perfect grip, slender fingers reaching down to fondle your balls, eager for what theyâve stored up just for her. Meanwhile, the sounds that come from her own throat as she rides your fingers become a necessary distraction, urging you to thrust into her a little faster, a little rougherâÂ
"How many loads are you going to give me today, professor? I hope they're all as thick as they were yesterdayâ"
It's rather ridiculous, the things you hear come out of Arin's mouth. The demure looking girl in the front row, raising her hand up high, blushing just at the sight of you, now says the filthiest things when she's got her mouth on your earlobe and her pussy filled with your fingers. She's every bit the opposite of an exemplary student, but you suppose that's your fault, given you're the one who's trading straight A's for the roughest, raunchiest sex that almost always ends up with you finishing inside her.Â
But the way Arin sounds when she moans directly in your ear, riding your fingers so selfishly while they stay buried inside her cunt, it makes you forget all that. None of that matters. All that does is satisfying her needs and yours, and you won't stop until she's absolutely drenched your fingers, even if it ruins that pathetic pair of panties.Â
"Don't stop, professor. I'm so closeâŚ"
She's lost all inhibitions in her frantic desire to keep rocking her hips hard against your fingers. You can feel the tension about to snap, her walls squeezing the life out of your slick digitsâall while she tries to keep a steady rhythm in her own pumping, giving your cock a good squeeze each time your fingers plunge to the hilt.
"Professor, please, donât stop, donât stopâ" Arinâs breathing grows unsteady, heavy, and she gasps for air between every syllable that escapes her lips. Youâll do everything to oblige her, steadily thrusting, curling your fingers to find that sweet spot that gets her to moan the loudest until she lets go of your cock, clinging her entire weight onto you.
"You're gonna make me fucking cumâ"
Nothing gets said in response, obeying Arinâs pleas, an uninterrupted stream of juices beginning to coat your fingers while she lets out one continuous moan, unable to speak coherently upon climax. Biting down hard on her bottom lip, she nearly draws blood before the wetness gushes down your fingers, rendering her panties useless, completely ruined with all this sticky arousal.
Her walls flutter around you, this explosive orgasm lasting far longer than you expectâbut you donât let up, pumping away as she spills more, riding this out until it turns into a second one shortly after. And when you press your thumb firmly against her clit, right as she starts to come down from her high, the violent trembles in her body repeat, sending her over the edge a third time, forcing her body to shake against yours, another loud, shameless moan spilling out of her in overstimulation.Â
It's a wonder how the rest of campus hasnât heard the screams echoing all the way down the staircase. Were it not for the rain pouring overhead drowning out her cries of pleasure, it would be near impossible for anyone passing by to not hear a thing. So youâre blessed by the rains, both above, and between Arinâs sticky thighs.Â
After itâs all said and done, she can hardly support her own weight when the sensation of your fingers inside her becomes too much for her oversensitive cunt, Arinâs sweaty frame nearly toppling over as she breathes heavily. Good thing you're right here to do what she temporarily canât, clinging to your body, your hard cock still poking against her as you keep her upright amidst these intense aftershocks.Â
"That was, fuckâyou've really outdone yourself, professor. I can hardly stand."
When you pull your fingers out, you canât hide the smirk that spreads across your face with all this slick clinging to your fingertips as she leans on your body to take a breath. The praise washes over you while Arin unexpectedly grabs your wrist, bringing your soaked fingers, all the way up to her lips to fervently suck the delicious liquid off.Â
You intently watch her lick herself off you, tongue lewdly swirling around the length of each wet digit, making an effort to swallow all of her mess. Her lips glisten with spit and wetness, a ravenous look in her bespectacled eyes as she cleans whatever she can, tasting every drop of her delicious essence, staring at you seductively until nothing is left.Â
"Guess I don't need these anymore," Arin says after a pause, gradually recovering as she peels her drenched thong down her legs, letting it drop to her ankles before she slips it off, stuffing it into your front pocket. A cute little smile later, and she looks more than eager for what's next, unable to tear her gaze away from how hard youâve been left thanks to her.Â
"I should finish what I started, don't you think, professor?"Â
You don't even get to answer when Arin drops to her knees on the cold floor, tugging your pants and boxers further down, freeing your cock that so desperately needs itâso desperately needs her. With a cute, light giggle, she spits onto your swollen shaft, pumping the entire length with her delicate fingers, a low moan rising in your throat as she pays extra attention to the underside where she knows you're the most sensitive.
Her slender fingers work up the length of your cock, coming back down with a grip so wonderfully tight. Sheâs so ready, so eager to have her soft lips around it already. You can practically see her salivating when she leans in a little closer to lap her tongue around your cock in one long, lazy lick, pressing her lips into a light kiss on the tip of your shaft.Â
âYewonââ
You canât hold in a grunt when Arin rubs your tip against her mouth, not opening up enough to take you whole yet, instead tracing her full, soft lips over your needy cockhead.Â
âDonât you worry, professor. Gonna make you feel so good. I promise.âÂ
The anticipation explodes all at once as she parts her lips, slipping the entire head of your cock inside. The moment her wet mouth makes contact with your shaft, you groan at the sudden warmth, a sharp contrast from her icy cold hands. She takes more of your length down, hollowing her cheeks, keeping an intense, erotic gaze while slowly bobbing her head up and down.Â
"Mhmphâ" Her warm breath sends shivers down your spine as her lips slip further and further down, the tip of her tongue flicking against what hasnât disappeared into her mouth. You canât help but let out all types of unabashed moans while she guides more of you inside, spit dripping down to your balls as she slides deeper, until nothing of you is left to swallow up, the head of your cock hitting the back of her tight throat with ease.Â
"Yewon, fuck,â you say, nearly breathless, and the way Arin looks up at you with her mouth so proudly sealed around every inchâthereâs nothing better. âI'll never get enough of your pretty fucking mouth.âÂ
Arin hums against the length of your shaft at your praise, working more of her magic on you, lips getting down so devastatingly deep against your base. Sheâs oh so eager, so unwaveringly committed to covering every single inch in saliva. Her hot little mouth slides down effortlessly, bobbing her head back, each stroke just a bit sloppier, a little wetter than the one before, with zero intention of giving you a chance to gather yourself.
âNobody gives a blowjob like I do, right, professor? Nobody can make you cum as hard as I can. I love being on my knees for you so much, being a good little slut for my professor. Thatâs what I am, aren't I?"
Nodding your head is all you can do, breath heavy in disbelief of how good this oral assault is, the enthusiasm on display really proving how much Arin enjoys having your cock shoved down her wet, inviting throat.Â
Youâd sacrifice your entire livelihood for a blowjob like this.Â
Itâs quite simple to lose track of how many times her talented mouth takes your entire length down, so good at pleasuring you it's impossible to find words. The way her wet tongue flicks against your slit when she slides off, only to have you plunging all the way back into the heat of her throatâit's far, far too good.
"I want you to cum on my face, professor," Arin tells you, so casually as she pulls away for a brief second before going right back to licking up the length of your hard cock, spitting all the excess saliva over the rest of you. Then sheâs back to placing hungry wet kisses against each inch, her tongue making a slick path before she gives the leaking slit of your cock another teasing, torturous swirl. "I want all of it."
At this rate, you think you could blow a load anywhere she wanted you to, already so close to bursting just at her tongue lavishing your cock with these feverish licks. She has this way of making you feel so special, like worshiping your cock is all that matters to her, your pleasure the most important aspect in her life. Her greedy mouth proves just that, making you groan so easily, especially when she dips down to pay attention to your balls and slurps so messily on them like she wants your load at any cost.Â
A few lazy licks down your sack and youâre back down her throatâjust trapped there helplessly as she holds you, her pretty mouth so goddamn overwhelming when she swallows as much of your length as she possibly can, not showing even the slightest hint of strain. Her full lips stay motionless when they slide right down to your base, gaze locked tight, making your cock throb within her tight, wet throat.Â
âStay there, Yewon, shit,â you groan, hands clutching her head against your crotch to speed up the path to climax. Each second she remains there feels like absolute heaven, fostering all this unbearable bliss, all while those doe eyes speak for her when her mouth canâtâimpatiently waiting, desperately wanting to empty your balls.Â
When she releases her lips from your length, thereâs a sexy little gasp that comes with the messy string of saliva pulling her back down. Repeating the act, she plunges right back down, nose nestling comfortably against your abdomen, lips wrapped entirely around the base of your length. âYewon, god, you know whatâs gonna happen if you keep doing that.âÂ
"Oh, youâre gonna cum? Want you to paint my pretty face. Donât you, professor?âÂ
Thereâs no answer to offer other than what she wants, all thoughts drowned by another wet slurp when Arin once again takes every inch of you down her throat, the overwhelming warmth of her mouth suffocating your length. Then she rises, exposing your shaft to the cool air for only a moment until her throat tightens when youâre back down, fully sheathed.Â
Arinâs so dedicated to hearing you moan that these steadfast strokes show no relent, slurping from base to tip, hair all a mess as she bobs faster and faster, maintaining never-ending eye contact thatâll be the death of you.
âNeed it. Need it so bad, your hot cum dripping down my face when I walk back down these stairs. Canât wait to feel how thick and heavy a load youâll give me.âÂ
Her pace only begins to go into overdrive, picking up rampantly when Arin places her hands on your thighs for better stability, the hot slickness of her mouth far too much to handle. She takes every inch, all of you disappearing down, without needing to stop to take a breath, like sheâs proving a point at how good she can get you off. There's no restraint as she bobs her head without inhibitions, sloppily, noisily, not even gagging when her throat delivers an unimaginable level of pleasure.Â
"Oh my god, Yewon, fuckâ"
With each desperate stroke, you're so close to that edge, quickly approaching the inevitable. The tightness in your balls grows beyond your control, and thereâs no time to think straight when her mouth feels this fucking good, almost there, absolutely about toâ
"I'm gonna fucking cum, Yewon," you groan out just in time, with no qualms about how needy you sound. One last slow descent down to your base, then Arin pops your needy shaft from her mouth right when it seems youâre about to burst any second.Â
And looking as salacious as possible, she simply tilts her head slightly backwards, jerking you off while directing the tip of your cock straight at her face, eagerly anticipating the release that's about to cover her.
âCum all over me, professor.âÂ
You let out a strained, guttural moan the moment your first pearlescent stream shoots out, streaking across the bridge of her nose. These frantic strokes donât let up, guiding your milky seed that unloads onto the perfect targetâher glasses, coating the lenses in white and getting it all over her rosy cheeks. Another strand fires off as she shifts your cock downwards, a thick stream blasting across her parted lips that deserve so much of this load for helping you reach an explosive release.Â
She pumps, and pumps, until thereâs nothing left, and by the time your orgasm winds down, Arin is a total mess, one youâll never get tired of seeing your load plastered all over her. Her stunning features wear you like a proud smile, drenched in her handiwork, thick streaks that cling to her cheeks, those soft lips, and anywhere else it happens to land as she strokes your length to ensure not a drop goes to waste.Â
That look is all too familiar when the weight of your load starts to drip down, an orgasmic feeling that brings a grin onto her cum-stained face.
âThatâs a big load, professor. Just what I wanted," she says as she removes her stained glasses, taking a nice, long lick right over the lens and making a show of the entire thing. "I think I'm obsessed. With your cum. It tastes so good, but looks better on my face."
"Yewonâyou're ridiculous, you know that?" you tell her as she carefully slips the glasses back on, and wipes up whatever has run off to the corners of her lips, bringing her sticky fingers into her own mouth to slurp them clean.
"It's not my fault my professor's cum tastes so good."
But before she can even begin to clean off your cock, or savor what an absolute mess sheâs covered in, the sound of footsteps nearby force her to stop mid-stroke, causing both your heads to turn with a shared look of panic. There's only enough time to tuck yourself back into your pants, but there's nothing to do at all about this massive load that's dripping all over Arin, nor whatâs done a number on the stairwell.Â
"Get behind me, Yewon. Quick."
Arin nods and does as you say, scrambling to her feet, also making sure her thong is still tucked away into your pocket as you zip your pants up. The sounds of footsteps echo louder, yet there's only one real way to escape this stairwell, because you're not going out that door when the rain hasn't let up one bit.Â
When the moment those footsteps approach the stairwell entrance, they slow to a halt, making your heart beat faster. Arin moves fast enough to get behind you just in time, out of sight and behind your broad frame. And the two of you wait there, her body pressed against yours, trying to hold her breath, dreading to explain yourself to whoever just made this abrupt end to your fun.Â
"Professor? Is that you?" The voice sounds so familiar, but you can't quite pick it out, too muffled by the rain. But there's no doubt you've heard this voice before. It's certainly one of your students, so at least you wonât have to explain this to a faculty member. "What a surprise, seeing you here!"
Normally, you'd have all the time in the world for pleasantries and small talk, but this is the last place where you can do anything of the sort as you try to shield Arin. From who exactly, you have no idea as they walk into frame. Their name escapes you, not that you really care when all you want is to get out of this situation.Â
"Is something the matter, professor? Why are you standing there?"
"Oh, uh, nothing. I had some time between classes and came up here to check out the rain. It's not letting up is it?" You put on the best smile possible, knowing Arin can't be spotted right behind you. Luckily, your taller frame can block her body completely, and given how the area is poorly lit, there isn't much worry about the mess that's on her face at the very least.
"No, it isn't. We don't usually get so much rain this time of year, huh?" The unnamed student asks as she glances out the window, and for a brief second you fear the worstâbut she doesn't seem to notice anything at all that shouldn't be there. "I didn't even bring an umbrella today either..."
"You might check the library, they'll have them."
"The library?"
"They used to offer some a few months back, but I guess everyone forgot. I'm sure they still have a few left."
"I might give that a try then, thanks. It's good to see you, professor."Â
When your student smiles and waves goodbye, heading back the stairs without another word, you're able to finally breathe a huge sigh of relief, knowing the ordeal is finally over, despite taking years off your life. "Jesus, Yewon."
"That was close.â Her own breath stays ragged and heavy, almost completely forgetful to the mess you've left on her face that still glistens. "Good save. Really pulled that umbrella story out of thin air, didnât you?âÂ
âWhatever it takes. Hey, they might have umbrellas. Iâve never gone there except to rail you.âÂ
Arin laughs, then suddenly remembers she still has your filth all over her. âBetter go clean up I guess..."
"This was a really terrible idea."
"Hey, this was my terrible idea," Arin corrects with a grin that manages to shine through all the mess. "And I donât hear you complaining about me giving you a nice, sloppy blowjob, professor.âÂ
âI could never complain about seeing my favorite student on her knees.âÂ
âI'll go on ahead. Maybe I'll see you later? For office hours?"
You say nothing more as you let her pass you to head down the stairs first, standing here a bit longer for your heart rate to calm before you too make your exit. You've got a class in under an hour that you haven't prepared for, and now how could you, coming so close from potentially losing your job. But yet, somehow, through all that, Arin was rightâthe rush of getting caught is exhilarating, but that was far too close for comfort.Â
⌠âŚ
So after all that, logic would dictate that you should be a little more careful, that maybe you should stop having sex with your student in places you're bound to get caughtâbut logic went out the window the moment you bent Arin over your desk for the very first time. What else are you going to do though, take her home to your apartment where there's actual privacy, where you don't have to keep quiet?
That sounds so very drab and mundane, and you'd rather spend another ten hours grading papers than go the proper route. You don't even know what you would do if you wound up in Arin's bedsheets, having all the freedom to rail her for hours instead of the thrill of being in public where you have to be quick and quiet.
There's nothing wrong or unhealthy with this relationship. Not one bit.Â
You've told yourself on multiple occasions that you should dial it down a notch, not meet quite so often, or at least not in places that will put your career at risk. After all, your luck is going to run out one of these days, and the day could very well come when more than just a student catches the two of you, maybe one of the other professors, or god forbid the university staff.Â
And then it's all over for both of you.Â
Yet, there isn't a day when you don't seek each other out, find some empty closet, a vacant faculty office, or that spot near the back of the library that's so dusty that no one frequents.Â
The risk is almost as good as being balls deep inside Arin itself.Â
You can't exactly help yourself when she wears these slutty little outfits that practically beg you to rip them off her, nothing but the shortest skirts imaginable to class, where you have to stop your eyes from wandering throughout the entirety of the lecture.Â
Arin sits in the front row for a reason, and that's not to get a better view of the whiteboard. No, it's so she can spread her legs open when no one's paying attention, flash whatever sexy pair of panties she has underneath (or the lack thereof on occasion), and sometimes even play with herself so she can show off how wet she is.Â
Somehow, no one's really noticed how often you have her in your office, where there's less talk about class going on, and more your head buried between her thighs, or having her bent over your desk in some obscene position with her mouth stuffed by her ruined underwear and screaming through it.
With everything thatâs transpired today, one would think youâd call it early and pack up. Not you though. Not even an hour has gone by since your close call, and Arin is in your office again, sucking you off underneath your desk while you work on grading papersâat least you should be, if only you could focus for more than a few seconds without this warm mouth slobbering on your cock.Â
"I bet none of your other students can deepthroat you as good as I can."
"You said you were going to be quiet."
"And you said you were going to fuck me, professor."
You haven't exactly broken that promise, it's more like Arin decided she wasn't going to wait until you finished, always finding an excuse to get in her favorite position whenever she wants to suck you off.Â
Luckily, for your students, you're going to be in such a tremendous mood after finishing in this girl's hungry mouth. These papers are downright horrendousâso fucking awful and unreadable it makes you wonder if you should intentionally pound Arin in your office with the door wide open, just so youâll get caught, lose your job, and never have to deal with some of these students ever again.
Not even a few papers in and youâve lost every ounce of focus, groaning while Arin empties your balls, her mouth right at your base when your spills right down her throat. With your fingers gripping the back of her head, it's impossible to not avoid bucking your hips into her pretty, sloppy mouth as she drains each thick shot from your pulsing cock, swallowing it all with pride to make sure there's not a single trace of your creamy release that hasn't gone directly into her stomach.Â
"All those students probably failed anyways," she tells you, letting the saliva fall from her lips as she shows off her empty mouth with a pleased smile, planting a nice, loud wet kiss on your tip before getting back up to her feet.
"Yeah? Including you?"
"Of course not, professor. We both know before you even look at my paper that I've got a perfect grade."Â
"Is that so? And what have you done to deserve that, Yewon?"Â
Before you've even gotten your pants back on properly, Arin is already claiming a spot on the edge of your desk, undoing her tie so that it hangs loosely around her neck, and then spreads those luscious thighs as wide apart as they can go, her gorgeous, dripping pussy on display without any underwear in the way. "I can think of a few things. Doesn't emptying you down my throat count for something?"
"Hm, I dunno,â you ponder, shamelessly staring between those delectable thighs at whatâs all yours. âMaybe a few points. That'll get you a passing grade at best."
"Just a few? What about all the times I've ridden your cock this week alone, professor? And how many times did you cum inside me?"
"I've completely lost track, Yewon. I guess that'll get you at least ten percent higher."
"How generous of you," she retorts, tone all full with playful sarcasm, unbuttoning her white shirt enough so you can see the color of her bra. It's purple, just like the thong in your pocket that serves as a nice trophy. "Are you forgetting how many times I took your thick cock in my ass until you blew your load inside?"
"Does that really count if you beg me to do so every time you step in my office?"
"Oh no, you can't blame me for how much you love my ass, professor. That's at least twenty points."
"That's a little greedy, don't you think?"
"Absolutely not. If anything, I deserve extra for all those times I let you fuck my face," Arin suggests, spreading her legs further apart to give a clearer view of her bare cunt thatâs glistening so beautifully, accompanied with a set of fingers teasing herself for your benefit.Â
"Again, you're forgetting the part where you keep dropping down to your knees and begging for it."
Arin can't help but smile, both at knowing you're rightâand also how you can't take your eyes off the show her fingers put on when she rubs at her clit, getting wet so easily from playing with herself while staring into your eyes. It's the look on your face that drives her crazy and gives her the urge to show off even more, sliding two digits past her swollen lips into her tight hole, so eager to get herself off in front of you.Â
"What about now, professâ" she asks before a moan interrupts her words, leaning backwards to prop herself up so you can watch every bit as she fingers herself. "Does this count for anything?"
"It depends. If you can make yourself cum without my help, then maybe, that'll bump up your grade, Yewon."
"Twenty-five. For making myself cum right in your office," she manages between hitched breaths, pumping her fingers deep in and out, almost bucking her hips off the table at her own touch.
"Twenty. You're not there yet, Yewon," you correct, watching Arin roll her head back with her eyes shut, so beautiful when she's in bliss, achingly sexy how her slender fingers disappear knuckle deep into her own cunt. You've barely had any time to recover since emptying your load down her throat just a minute ago, but the mere sight is more than enough to have you as hard as the wooden desk sheâs writhing on.Â
Arin reaches down to further unbutton her shirt, giving the full glimpse of her breasts covered up in that pretty lace as her tight frame falls back against the cold surface all splayed out. While this shameless girl continues fingering her pussy, you simply enjoy the view, stroking your cock every few seconds to spur her on. Every desperate moan and gasp from her lips gets louder, all that nectar trickling down between her spread thighs youâre dying to lick cleanâbut you wonât, because she has to do this on her own.Â
You let the lack of words exchanged linger in the air while Arin fingers herself a bit rougher, moving a bit more frantic, knowing all the signs from experience that she isn't too far from that much craved release.Â
âProfessor," Arin breathes out, the quiver in her voice an obvious indication. Her fingers get so drenched, pulling them out from her heat for a moment to reveal how sticky wet they are as she groans, not bothering to hide how she slides them back in to curl right into herself. "Oh god, professorââÂ
When the pleasure becomes too much, when her back arches off the desk with breathless cries, there's no missing the split second Arin's entire body tenses upâthighs quivering, fingers buried so deep you can hear the wetness while she shakes on the desk from the intensity of her orgasm. It's a moment of euphoria that's only reached because you're watching so attentively, eyes glued the entire time as she rides her fingers long past completion, toes curling, moans echoing through your small office.
Even when Arin is finished, she's unable to regain her composure for more than a few ragged breaths, eyes still closed while the bliss hits hard, long after her high. And you savor every second of her looking so beautiful in this post-climax haze, an absolute mess on your desk that youâre thankful hasn't soaked into your papers.
"Fuck, that was too good, professor," Arin murmurs, slowly pulling her fingers out from herself, just to rub her oversensitive clit, borderline crying from the overstimulation. âItâs too bad it wasnât your cock I came on.âÂ
"Then maybe I should deduct points for that?"
"Hey, that's not fair⌠you just told meâIâd get points for making myself cum."
"I did, butâyou would have earned extra for waiting for me to do it. Guess you'll just have to earn back those points another way."
"How exactly should I do that, professor?" Arin asks with the best faux ignorance possible, sitting herself up to scoot off the desk, then leaning down to wrap her slick fingers around your shaft. "If you bend me over and pound me with this cock until your cum is leaking inside me, would that be enough?"
"Perhaps. That would certainly help raise your grade some points.âÂ
"Give it all to me then," she pleads, giving your cock a handful of languid strokes, just enough to leave a nice trail of her slick along the entire length. "Fuck a load into me, professor. Fuck your top student all over this office."
"Top student? Really?" You can't help but laugh at that, knowing full well Arin is certainly anything but. Far from it actually, not even top ten. "Then I better go find her then."
"Hey! Just shut up and give it to me already," Arin says with that pout still intact, keeping these strokes going on your cock that make you throb so easily, and youâre not sure who needs it more at this point.Â
"Fine, but not here. I'm tired of this place. Let's go somewhere else."
It's rather late into the afternoon, with the majority of classes for the day having ended already. That leaves enough of the campus vacant, lowering the risk of getting caught wherever you decide to take Arinâbut the risk still isn't zero. Wandering around the university after hours isn't the best idea, especially when there are plenty of places for students to hang out, and worse, faculty offices open late.
So you keep it simple.Â
You keep several feet ahead of each other, heading up a couple floors to that really small bathroom by the science department that no one ever uses because it doesn't lock properly. There are much bigger and better bathrooms scattered about, so everyone usually forgets this tiny, shabby thing exists, especially late into the day. Not the most romantic spot, but itâs suitable, and keeps you from scouring the halls without having to dodge other faculty and students.Â
You enter first, flicking on the light, and do a quick scan around the room while Arin slips in, pulling the door shut as quickly as possible. There's nothing but a toilet, a sink, and a mirror, but most importantly it looks clean, which is the most important thing. It's not that surprising given that nobody really uses it to begin with.
Itâs as perfect a place as ever.Â
Double checking the lock still doesn't work, nothing has changed on that front. Arin quickly moves to lean against the wall, and sheâs already unbuttoning her shirt, all the way this time, to give the full view of those perky breasts without any bra to ruin the view. You're on her in a flash, claiming those lips with a kiss full of nothing but aggression to match just how badly you want to ruin this girl right now.
"Fuck me," Arin urges as she palms your bulge through your pants, impatient to get your cock inside of her. Her fingers fumble with the button to your pants, thoughts clouded with desire, and sheâs so eager to release your aching shaft, to give it all the attention it so desperately craves.
Youâve got just a modicum of patience left to not let that happen quite yet.
Instead, with your lips still attached, you pick Arinâs slender frame off the ground, and guide her over to the sink, placing her there as gently as you can. When she settles down on the edge of the counter, there's no hesitation to shove that tiny skirt up past her waist, revealing her absolutely beautiful cunt still left glistening in the aftermath of her orgasm from a moment earlier, and you're just dying to fill her all up.Â
Still, somehow you hold back for a moment, to let it all sink in. The sight is divine enough, this privileged student of yours in this rather pathetic excuse for a school uniform, half naked, shirt wide open with her tits fully out, that barely-there skirt, and those sexy thigh highs that bring all the attention to her immaculate thighs that make you want to ruin her even faster. She knows thatâs your biggest weakness, knows how weak in the knees they leave you whenever you get to slide them off with your teethâbut now they make her look like pure sin.Â
"I know you wanna get that dick in me," she says, voice so sultry, and her thighs spread obscenely wide apart, so that every inch of her mouthwatering cunt is put on display with not a drop of modestyânot like Arin even knows what that word is.Â
"Not yet. Haven't gotten to taste you today." As per usual, Arinâs been more than a little greedy, and it feels like sheâs had her lips on your cock all day and this is the first opportunity to return the favor.Â
Any protest in those pretty eyes doesn't last when her hands wrap around your skull, drawing your face straight between her thighs that you have no trouble diving into. With your lips feasting on her cunt right off the bat, you give Arin all the attention she craves so badly, licking along the length of her slit, all the way up until your tongue starts flicking at her engorged clit.Â
"God, so fucking good," Arin breathes out, the silence in the empty bathroom getting cut with all her beautiful moans that ring out. For your efforts, youâre rewarded by her thighs locking around your head, as your lips get a tight seal around her swollen clit that has her grinding that delicious cunt all over your mouth.Â
"Professor!" she chokes out, while continuing this harsh grip on the back of your head while you slurp on her clit so mercilessly, every bit hungry to taste all those delicious juices that spill out. "Oh my god, professor, oh fuck!"
Your mouth doesn't quit, because nobody tastes better than Arin. You're an addict, every bit obsessed with this girl's cunt since the first time that you slid between these thighs. There's nothing you love more than this, her taste lingering on your tongue, all while these delicious thighs squeeze around your head, suffocating you perfectly as you eat her out with so much fervor she almost can't handle how good you make her feel.
"My god, Yewonâyou taste so fucking delicious," you tell her between long licks, slurping on her clit without restraint to savor every last bit of her soaking cunt. "I can eat your pretty pussy all day. For hours and hours."
"I won't say no to that, professor.â Her desperate hands dig into your scalp to hold your face right there, exactly where she wants, where she needs, gasping when her hips grind down against you. "Fuck, your tongue is so, so good."
This is your favorite part about going down on her, being trapped between those perfect thighs that squeeze and tremble while you sloppily eat her out, drowning in her heavenly aroma and all this nectar, her delicious pussy that tastes even better the longer you indulge.Â
It's never enough though, no matter how much time you get to spend with your tongue buried inside her cunt, or how many times she cums all over your faceâthe taste of her is heaven, and you love turning this girl into nothing more than a whimpering, quivering mess who canât even think straight.Â
"Just like that, professor, fuck, don't stop, oh my god, don't fucking stop, pleaseââ
She whines so freely while grinding down hard against your hungry lips you can hardly breathe. Not that you have any problem about that, because you know exactly where Arin is, can feel those thighs vibrate all around you to know those limits are about to be surpassed, and you don't plan to let up for even a moment.
You ramp up your efforts in devouring her cunt without a moment to rest, your tongue all over her clit, sucking so harshly, so relentlessly, drowning in these delicious juices. Itâs obvious how Arin's hips can't stay steady for a second longer, seconds from losing herself entirely. "Professor! Fuck, I'm so fucking close. Keep going, keepâoh fuck, right there, I'm gonna cum so fucking hard, fuckâ"
Arin bucks her hips into your face with wild abandon, her juices smearing across your lips when you bring her to the verge of release, until she finally topples over completely.Â
Everything goes muffled while she keeps her thighs squeezed tightly around your head, violently trembling throughout her orgasm as you lick her through the entire thing. Like every other time you've brought her over that blissful edge, it's beautiful, turning your face into a mess, and you greedily lap up everything that freely spills into your mouth from her overflowing cunt.Â
When those thighs let off and relax, you look up at Arin's blissed out visage, completely enamored in the pleasure, shivering and trembling with a high-pitched squeal as you give her clit one more loud slurp for good measure. Your focus then shifts back to her messy folds, delving deep into them to clean up those juices she's gushing so profusely, a never ending stream of wet, sticky deliciousness.Â
"Fuck, your cunt always tastes so amazing," you mutter, lapping at the girl's slick covered thighs, getting out every drop that leaks out with a few soft licks. Arin stays motionless on the counter, looking straight up to the ceiling while her chest heaves, still seeing stars.
After indulging a little while longer, and spending all the time necessary getting those warm thighs mostly clean, there's only one thing left to do. Your mouth pulls away, but only so you can yank your pants down to your ankles, your stiff cock aching to get inside of her.Â
"Gonna fucking ruin you, Yewon. Hope youâre ready for me to wreck that tight little cunt."
"When am I not? Please, give it to me already," Arin desperately pleads, pulling herself from her haze to look at the throbbing length you're stroking as her eyes beg you to sink in and fill her up.Â
Sitting herself up on the sink, she keeps herself propped up with her hands planted behind her body, spreading her thighs apart as far as possible, with her wet cunt presented so lewdly and invitingly. "Shove that dick right in me, professor. Give it to me as hard as you can."
Without another thought wasted, you slowly guide the swollen tip of your cock past those drenched lower lips, groaning unabashedly when all this slippery warmth welcomes you deep inside. It's far too easy, how you slide into her, walls so dripping with arousal that allow this ache to dissipate when you effortlessly impale Arin all the way, right to the hilt.
"My god, Yewon, fucking love this tight pussy," you groan as her walls clamp down, holding you right inside that delicious grip with no plans to release you.Â
She's so soaking wet when you start pounding away inside, each thrust coated in all those messy juices as your cock bottoms out every time. Your deep strokes make full use of her open shirt, causing her modest breasts to bounce as her back hits the mirror with each hard slam. Arin clenches around you with such an unyielding grip as you pump in and out, loving how rough you are, how forceful your hips are, moaning louder and louder, still sensitive from the previous release.Â
âAnd I love being stretched on your huge fucking cock.â
There's not an ounce of mercy in your thrusts, just pure carnal lust taking hold. Her wet folds remain parted, taking the full length of your pounding shaft, every last inch driving into that slick little cunt without restraint. You take advantage of how her legs drape over the sink, grabbing her thighs, spreading them to give you more leverage to angle your thrusts deeper, and she kicks her heels off to give you even more control, allowing you to use her body however you please.
"It feels so good, professor," she says, while each thrust stays rough and deliberate, buried to the hilt in her wetness. "This cock of yoursâis so perfect."
"That's because your cunt is made for it," you groan, sweat forming on her skin under your grip as your hips slam against her. It's absolute bliss, watching the way her entire body responds each time you sink in, hearing her soft whines that sheâs unable to hold any back while getting fucked so mercilessly over this counter top. "You take my cock so well."
"Of course I do," she insists, the biggest grin on her face that gets interrupted with more moans. "I'm the professor's favorite student, after all."
"But definitely the worst one," you fire back, fingertips digging hard into her bare thighs all wrapped up in these sexy thigh high stockings as they jiggle with every relentless thrust.
"Soâhow many points is this?" Arin asks, bracing herself against the mirror when you pound into her even harder, every inch of your cock covered in her sweet essence.
"As many as you fucking want, Yewon."
"Then make it a thousand. I can use them on the next assignment, right?"
"Use them on whatever you want, the final exam even. So long as I get to cum inside you."
"Of course, professor. Fill me all the way up. Cum inside me as much as you fucking want," she says, and those tits bounce more hypnotically every time you pick up the pace, slamming deeper with more force each time. After every plunge balls deep, that tightness becomes more overwhelming, urging you to give your all, as if the sight of her all sprawled out and creaming on your cock isn't enough already.Â
It's merciless. And your hips start to reach their limit, but Arin's desperate cries of pleasure become so loud, that she has no choice but to muffle herself with her hand, almost forgetting that this seldom used bathroom is still right by the science labâand anyone could be lingering around.Â
"Fucking fill me, professor. Empty your balls. Just keepâoh god, fuck, fuck," Arin whimpers, the limits of her body creeping up fast as your cock pistons so harshly in and out of her hot cunt. "Wanna milk every last drop right out of you, make you cum so fucking hard."
"Only if youâre good and cum on this cock, Yewon. Cum all over me, and I'll fucking fill this cunt up."
"Yes, god, yes," she says, practically falling back against the mirror while you brutally hammer into her at full force. She barely keeps the coherence when it all peaks, when you feel those impossibly tight walls clenching around your cock, borderline painful, forcing you to use every ounce of strength to not burst inside her just yet.Â
"Fuck, professor, this dick is so amazingâI'm gonna cum all over it, all over your fucking huge cock," Arin says as her pussy squeezes the life out of your cock with every impale in that wet, intoxicating heat. A flood of her fluids almost forces you out, an absolute mess that drowns your shaft in slick rips through her body without any care, and all you can do is fuck her through it.Â
Even when her orgasm subsides, and she somehow becomes tighter, wetter, easier to sink into, you don't show any remorse while fucking her tight pussy until you can't possibly hold on any further.Â
"You're close, aren't you, professor?" Arin gasps between collecting her breath as the pleasure begins to fade, watching the struggle you're going through to hold it back. "I know you are. Please, let me have all that cum. Blow your fucking load in me, let it all out."Â
That's all you need to be shoved straight over the edge, taking a few final strokes before that pressure builds up to a boiling point, and nothingâs going to stop you when youâre about to burst. âYewonââÂ
Her name barely escapes before youâre throbbing, letting out all types of lustful grunts while her pussy smothers you in warmth, offering the best place for such a messy release of seed that shoots out, coating her insides the way she begs for.Â
Your cock violently pulsates until youâre left with nothing but orgasmic relief, unloading shot after shot deep inside Arin with the thickest spurts imaginable that empty into her warm little pussy. These tight, tight walls take every drop, welcoming such a huge load thatâs even somehow stronger than what her mouth did to you earlier. Â
Thereâs no way you could do anything else with how delicious she looks on this bathroom counter. With whatever remnants of energy are left, you use all the power in your hips until they lose steam, remaining inside her euphoric cunt that refuses to relinquish you. You ride out wave after wave, each spasm pumping more cum into her, all this intoxicating bliss that feels like itâll never end.Â
And truly, both of you wish it never would.Â
âProfessorâŚâ Arin can barely speak between breaths, riding this collective high that fills the room with heavy panting, and sweat glistens on whatever bare skin her revealing outfit offers. Youâre right there with her, caressing her thighs, her messy cunt wringing out as much out of you as possible, like it doesnât want your cock to escape, even after your entire load is buried inside that delicious warmth.Â
âCame so hard on you, professor, fuck... I love the way your cum feels when you push it deeper, all the way into my womb. Wanna keep it all here until youâre ready for round two.âÂ
"You're fucking insatiable, Yewon," you sigh, dropping Arin's legs back onto the counter, which relinquishes the intense grip youâve held, allowing her body a chance to relax. When your breathing returns to something somewhat stable, you lean over to give her a tired kiss, one thatâs easily returned with whatever remaining energy she has.Â
âCan you blame me when your dick is this good? Itâs only your fault I turned into such a greedy little cumslut.âÂ
âOr maybe you were already like that before I even met youâŚ"
"Yeah. Maybe."
Arin looks away as she starts to giggle, giving you a perfect chance to kiss that exposed cheek. When she glances back, you share an impossibly long stare, one that goes on far too long without words until you lean in for another kissâ
One that gets interrupted by a knock at the door.Â
"Hello? Is anyone there? Custodial services, I'm here to clean up."Â
You must have angered some kind of god for this to happen two times in one day. Even worse, thereâs no easy way out of this while you're still buried inside Arin, the least of your concerns as this creamy mess threatens to spill out.Â
"I, uhâneed a moment. Spilled something on my shirt that won't come out. Be out in a bit," you blurt out, barely thinking while you look around at the poor bathroom that's been defiled. Arin can't help herself, covering her mouth to help from not immediately bursting into laughter as she fumbles to button back up her shirt.Â
âYouâre such a bad liar,â Arin whispers, but you just roll your eyes at her, glancing over the sweat on her body that youâd no doubt be licking clean were the two of you not nervously waiting to see if this unfamiliar man outside will buy your story.
"No problem, sir. Take your time, I'll be back after.â The janitor shuffles his feet, and you listen carefully, wondering just how obvious the two of you were being. When you can no longer hear footsteps, you release the longest sigh, and slowly pull out of Arin, along with an utterly unreal amount of hot semen that spills out.Â
"Can't believe he bought that," Arin sighs while hopping off the counter, where more of your cum gushes out as soon as she stands up. "Can't believe you came so much inside me, either."
"If I recall, you were quite literally begging me not to stop."
"No need to be smug about it, professor."
Arin does her best to look presentable in the mirror and fix her disheveled hair, shirt only half buttoned, and skirt a complete mess, but it all seems so futile. There's no real way to hide how she looks after getting railed over the sink relentlessly, or the cum still dripping all over her thighs that she doesn't even bother to clean up.Â
"We should get out of here before he comes back," Arin says after giving her appearance a once-over, making any minor adjustment to try and fix how ruined she looks. "Shall I leave first, professor?"
The question has only one obvious answer, but you still can't form your lips properly to speak it. "Not so fast, Miss Choi."
"Oh? Am I forgetting something?" Arin asks while running fingers through her hair again. You step towards her, pressing into her back to wrap your arms around her tiny frame before planting a kiss on the side of her neck.
"Yeahâme. You're not leaving this room without me."
You notice her grin in the mirror as your lips graze her skin again, nipping right on that sensitive spot that makes her gasp.Â
"Don't tell me you're wanting to go again. After we almost got caught. Againâ"
"No, not yet," you say between kisses, drawing closer and closer up her neck. "Need a little bit more rest for that."
"You poor thing. Did my pussy wear you out that much, professor?"
"You can barely stand upright as it is," you retort, taking your mouth away from her neck for a moment. Arin stifles a laugh that turns into a moan when your hand creeps up her skirt to touch her dripping folds still leaking your cum. "You need this a lot more than I do."
"Is that so? Wellâfuck," Arin moans, unable to hide her body betraying her words as she grips the edge of the counter when two of your fingers slide into her without warning, pushing a mixture of her nectar and the load you pumped inside deep into her messy cunt.Â
"It's too bad I can't continue this," you say, and withdraw those fingers from Arin's clenching pussy that so desperately tries to keep them in to no avail. "Let's get out of here. But you're not leaving my side."
"If you insist, professor." Arin has no further words, fixing up her skirt while so much thick seed oozes beneath. "But isn't it a little risky to leave together?"
"Probably. But besides, even if somebody does see us, so what? There's not much they can do about it even if they can already tell what just happened. And what are you always sayingâhow much you love the risk?"
"Guess I'm rubbing off on you, hmm?"
"Not a chance, Miss Choi," you correct, causing that grin across her face to grow wider. "I'm just tired of sneaking around so much."
"Me too, professor."Â
You turn to leave, opening the bathroom door to poke your head around the corner. Luckily, there doesn't seem to be anyone around, only a couple of students you don't recognize standing nearby chatting, paying no mind as you and Arin sneak out successfully together.
âWhere are we headed?â asks Arin as she settles in right next to you, something that's going to take getting used to.Â
"Dunno. Cafeteria is still open. Guess we can head there first."
"Not if it's still raining. It's a bit of a trek, isn't it?"Â
"My car's right out front. And if we so happen to take a little detour..."Â
"Now who's being insatiable, professor?" she asks, with this little teasing giggle in her voice.Â
âWhat? Who said I planned on doing anything with you other than grabbing some dinner? You know, I don't think you've had anything in your mouth today but myâ"
"Professor!" Arin's not used to your conversation being this open, or being on the opposite side of being so flustered. "Save it for when we're not outside! Or better, the back seat. With the doors locked, preferably."
"As you wish, Miss Choi. Besides, but there's nothing I rather eat than yourâ"
She desperately covers your mouth to stop any further words from escaping as you head to the parking lot, surprised to see there's nothing but abundant sunshine now. Even more surprising is the fact nobody looks twice as the two of you walk together. Maybe it's luck, or maybe everybody here knows damn well what happens on campus between you two.Â
And maybe you'll stop sneaking around campus every day, finding just enough time to spend the last half of your lunch hour buried between Arinâs thighs while she tries to hold her moans.Â
But maybe you won't.Â
#kpop smut#reader insert#arin smut#oh my girl smut#girl group smut#kpop fanfic#male reader#kpop fanfiction
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