#please identify yourself user

[13thpythagoras]

in order to access website, please verify, are you a:

-robont pretending to be a human, hutrans, or huma'm

-human pretending to be a robot

-real human

-actual robott (not allowed - contact your local robot civil rights lawyers guild)

-some toepe of cryptye

-a beaste

-nightwalker

-night jogger

-bigfoot

-mediumfoot

-penguin

-fire breathing penguin

-Greg

[bredstick]

Hello! I hope you are having a good day. This is the first time I'm making a request so if I write stupid things, please turn down my request. Male!reader can see curses even though he has no cursed energy. Although he is very kind and gentle looking, curses are running away from him because of the energy he radiates. He is descended from a clan that was destroyed by the Sukuna in history. The general characteristics of those coming from this clan are that although they are physically weak, they can destroy even the strongest curses with a single touch. Also, the men of this clan appear feminine in appearance and can be mistaken for a woman from afar. And the jujutsu sorcerers are unaware of the existence of any of this clan because they think they have all been destroyed. Also a member of this clan can be easily identified from their physical characteristics. So what is the reaction of Gojo, Nanami, Geto, Toji, and Sukuna when the reader is able to heal curses that have been transformed from human into curses and destroy the bad curses without doing anything, even though he has no cursed energy at all?

Sorry if it's too long and complicated English is not my first language. Thank you!

JJK men find out you're a descendant from an extinct clan (male reader!)

Reactions from Gojo, Nanami, Geto, Toji, Sukuna

Gojo Satoru

▪︎ He didn't even know about the clan and its users until other people spoke up about you, how you were different from the others- already speculating you have connections to the clan.

▪︎ He was curious on who you were, since that's the first time he'd heard of you, so he arranged a group mission with you involved (principal was confused, why did the strongest need a companion?)

▪︎ First look at you he thought you were a woman until you spoke up on the mission, allerting him of certain dangers across the curse filled field. He was surprised, but it didn't really matter. He just wanted to see the powers you behold.

▪︎ Turns out the enemy was bigger than he thought, and wanted you to step back from it, considering your body was quite frail and you seemed weak to him- he didn't know what to do when the curse was moving in the speed of light towards you.

▪︎ He was just about to teleport you away, but you sensed a curse approaching you, and as a reflex you immediately put your hand up and touched it without seeing the said curse. You could feel it, not see it.

▪︎ Just as you touched it, it exploded without a second thought. You and Gojo just stood there in complete silence, Gojo's lips slowly forming a grin. You might become someone on his level.

"So, mystery boy, what's your name?"

Kento Nanami

▪︎ Didn't really care when he saw you around until he was on a mission with you, not even knowing you're the one everyone's been talking about

▪︎ "I'll take care of this" thinking you're still a newbie and don't know how to use your technique because he didn't sense any cursed energy within you

▪︎ TAKEN ABACK by the way you destroyed the higher rank curse so quickly- needed to register the fact that such a frail person could behold such power (he's totally not jealous)

▪︎ Is even more taken aback when you heal yourself, thinking that he's seeing things

▪︎ "So..... you've mastered your cursed technique I see.." he says after awkwardly standing next to you for who knows how long

(you're on the villain's side on these)

Suguru Geto

▪︎ He wasn't paying attention to you, thinking you were just a boring sorcerer with no power to overturn the world to what he wants to create- he did question your gender though lol

▪︎ Not until a fight with jujutsu sorcerers (including gojo's presence) have you really proved yourself worthy of his praise

▪︎ He was oh so so glad you were on his side when he saw your healing abilities- seeing Gojo's face drop in realization on who's clan you belonged to has made him thrilled

▪︎ "how about we rule the world together?" he said with that smirk of his;)

Toji Fushiguro

▪︎ "uhh.. what are you exactly?" would totally be his first words while meeting you

▪︎ he wasn't even listening to you until you mentioned your clan, which he heard of from the zen'in clan and how overpowered your clan compared to his was- which had a positive effect on him since he hated his own clan. The murmurs of "I'm glad the clan got wiped out years ago" was coursing through his mind while he snickered, and took on your offer of getting together for the destruction of the zen'in clan.

▪︎ When he saw your abilities and even saw that you and him both don't have cursed energy was a big win for him, thinking of treating you to a nice dinner after you're done with the killing (let's hope he can afford it)

▪︎ "I've been waiting for this" he says, slashing the clan's throats.

(here you're on the good side again)

Ryomen Sukuna

▪︎ Your abilities being shown to him made him go back to the good old days when he was slaughtering your kind to bits, giving him ptsd from you just showing him one of the techniques

▪︎ "How the hell did your kind come back?? I killed all of you" he says in the most disrespectful tone ever, making you rage

▪︎ he underestimates your power, forgetting how troublesome your clan was to kill- perhaps you were even stronger than them, making him wonder who taught you to perfect the techniques and how he could let someone slip away from his brutal slaughter.

▪︎ when he gets seriously injured, he curses under his breath and goes back into hiding in itadori's body (he simply cannot be asked to deal with your kind again)

▪︎ "That damn brat... I just need to consume all of the fingers so I can beat the shita outta him"

[dj-spiderman]

Request: Hey! So Miguel is my new obsession and I would just love to request this: So Miguel x male reader where the male reader reminds miguel of his daughter so he's overprotective and take son a fatherly role. I was thinking either that the reader gets hurt and Miguel accidentally calls him Gabriella so angst, or it's just a second chance for Miguel to be a father for a kid that needs it

ARAÑITO

- Miguel O’Hara & Child!reader

- Genre: Platonic fluff

- Synopsis: Jessica and Miguel decide to take you back to HQ for recovery, but with the slow process, Miguel grows a bit too attached to allow for you to leave his sight. Talk about fatherly instincts.

- A/N: Reader can be depicted as any age, though is written to be relatively in his teenage years. The Spanish used is from google translate, my apologies for any mistakes! If any Spanish users would like to correct anything, please do!

Jessica was the one to find you. Up against a vulture far from your own. Grotesque teeth exposed by an uncanny snarl. A thick substance, that could possibly be identified as saliva, dripping down onto his face as he was pinned beneath heavy talons.

Hushed and rapid wheezes and curses slipping past busted lips. The taste of metal heavy on your tongue as you grasp onto the heavy ankle, desperately trying to remove it from your collapsing chest. Weak pleas being spat, no clue as to whether they were aloud or echoing throughout your thoughts.

Vision spotting and a sense of doom filling your gut, your body gave out and you lied limp. So close to death that you simply accepted it.. until…

A large blur of blue and red tackled the man off of yourself. Leaving you to jolt up wheezing and coughing. Tears welling up in your eyes as the pregnant woman soothed you. “Sh, sh, shh.. we’ve got you now. Gonna be alright.”

Miguel works hard to take down the vulture, pinning him down with large claws and an open jaw. A similar state as to what the creature had you into before, only less patience as he locks his jaw down in a venomous bite.

Of course, by the time he’s finished, you’re unconscious after having the adrenaline wear off. Slack body held in Jessica’s motherly hold as she gives a knowing look towards the larger man.

“You can’t be serious,” he groans, walking past her and opening a portal.

“He’s injured Miguel! We can’t just leave him here.” She argues in turn, scolding the man. “He’s just a kid..”

The man pauses, slouched over and running hands through his hair as he groans. “Fine, but only for recovery.” He mutters, to which Jessica happily carries your unconscious form through the portal.

════════════════

The moment you wake up, you’re disoriented and blinded by bright lights. It’s all overstimulating; the lights, the constant beeping, and the static like touch all over your body.

It takes a moment to gather your surroundings, whining softly as you anxiously look around. Shaky hands lift up to try and remove the nasal cannula, only to be stopped by a much larger and warmer hand.

“I don’t suggest removing that, it’s helping you breathe.” You don’t know who this man is, but his words are gentle and you simply relax back and leave the tube alone, it’s better that way. “You fractured a few ribs in your fight, bruised a lung, but nothing aggressively serious.” The stranger huffs, seemingly checking the bandages that wrapped around your torso.

“W-who…” Your throat is sore and dry, it hurts to speak with the conditions. Your words puffed out with a wheeze and wince.

“Miguel O’Hara, head of the spider-society.” The stranger introduces himself, sitting back with a grunt. “You’re only being kept here because of your injuries. As soon as you’re healed, you’re gone.”

Such manners he had, you thought with a small glare. You didn’t need someone to take care of you, let alone someone who hated you from the start.

This was already the worst thing you’ve ever dealt with.

════════════════

It had been a couple days now, your recovery going slow as you remained bed rested with little movement. Today was Jessica’s day to check on you, but rather the warm woman, you were met with two younger men.

“So you’re the mystery spider!” The smaller of the two cheers, eagerly rushing up to you. “Miguel refuses to let anyone see you!” His energy big, like that of a puppy’s.

The taller, more punk-themed man stepped forwards, tinkering around with some of the many machines. “‘Course, we’re not ‘onna listen to that old bloke.” He mumbles, finally making his way over. “‘m Hobie, Hobie Brown.”

You only watch, eyes drifting over to the former man. “Pavitr Prabhakar!” He cheerfully informs, poking around at your IV’s and breathing support.

Eventually the nimble fingers cause your IV to slip out, causing a wince of pain from yourself. And as scary as it was, Miguel himself appears in the doorway. A nasty scowl on his face as he glares down to the younger men. “Pavitr, Hobie, our.” He practically snarls.

For someone without a spider-sense, he was scarily good at sensing when something was wrong. Perhaps his AI, you thought, glancing towards his watch as though it’s where she was kept.

With the two strangers gone, it’s just you and Miguel. He’s pacing, pinching the bridge of his nose as he goes on about something. “¡Le dije a Jessica, le dije que no los dejara acercarse a ti! ahora estas herido..”

You’re not quite sure what he’s on about, but he seems upset with himself. He spares an apologetic glance your way, walking over and gently caressing the skin from which your IV was pulled.

“This is going to sting, arañita.” He coos in a tone you’ve never heard before, holding down on your arm as he slips the IV back in. Hushing and coddling you as you whine in pain. The flinch you give only causes more pain from your ribs. Tears welling up as a bodily reaction to the pain. “I know, I know.. hurts, doesn’t it, arañito?”

You’ve never seen this side to him. It almost feels like trap. Luring you into a false sense of trust only to tear you apart..

Your small cries cause him to hold you close against his chest, whispering about how brave you were. It felt fatherly, almost. Something bitterly familiar. You never did have a good relationship with your own father.. maybe this was a second chance?

════════════════

Days turned into weeks. Your recovery a slow process, but you were improving. You were allowed to walk within the medical room, though Miguel refused to let you leave his sight. You were only allowed to explore alongside him, told you that he had to “keep you safe”.

You usually obeyed his wishes, but the boredom was just so aggravating.. it wasn’t like he would know either way. So, you left the room, stumbling along halls and bridges in search for something fun to do.

You near scream, as though you could in your condition, as a masked horse mindlessly knocks you to the ground. The cowboy atop seemingly panicked as he begins anxiously apologizing, but it’s not you he’s speaking to.

An all too familiar shadow peers over your small, ‘fragile’ form. Above you, Miguel stands with a menacing glare. He does not at all seem happy about the incident, or your little ‘escape’.

“Get that damn horse under control, cabron.” He practically snarls, immediately pulling you into the comfort of his large arms. It’s no surprise when he begins coddling you and checking for injury. He was always this overprotective of you.

“Are you okay, arañito? He didn’t hurt you did he? Why are you out of your room..? Were you hungry? Cold? Lonely even?” He continues to question you, holding you to his chest. “You know you can just call for papa, I’ll be there as soon as you need me.”

That was another thing, Miguel had taken it upon himself to have you call him papa. He was constantly spoiling you or doting on you. It was.. strange.

You hadn’t even noticed when the man began dragging you back to your bedroom, scolding you softly. “You know better than to leave, you could get hurt.. scared me so bad arañita…” he’s lying you in your bed, tucking you in and taking a seat on the edge.

“You know I’m just trying to protect you… trying to be a good father.” He seems so genuine, it makes you feel guilty.

“Lo lamento, papa…” He seems genuinely shocked to hear you speak, let alone in Spanish. Supposed you had picked up on a few words within your stay.

A small smile plays at his lips, glancing your way as he speaks. “It’s alright arañita, I know you didn’t mean to scare me..” he reaches over, gently stroking your hair back. “Just promise me you won’t leave me… please don’t leave me..” he seems to be upset with the idea, and so you agree to his terms.

Nodding softly as you take hold of his large hand, gently playing with the rough, yet warm, flesh. “Sí.. won’t leave… never..”

And it was true. You didn’t have plans to leave, not when he was such a good father. Not when he gave you reason to trust him. He offered you safety and love, and in turn, you’d be his arañito.

[rebeccathenaturalist]

I have THE biggest, BEST news EVER--

I GOT A BOOK CONTRACT!!!!!!!!

I am exceptionally pleased to announce that I have just signed a contract with Ten Speed Press (a division of Penguin Random House) to publish...

The Everyday Naturalist: How to Identify Animals, Plants, and Fungi Wherever You Go!

It is slated for publication in early Summer 2025, and will be written for anyone who wants to be able to identify the living beings around them regardless of educational level or experience. A HUGE thank you to my literary agent Jane Dystel of Dystel, Goderich & Bourret LLC, and my editor at Ten Speed Press, Julie Bennett!

This isn't just another field guide--it's a how-to book on nature identification that helps you go from "I have no idea what this animal/plant/fungus is and I don't know where to start" to "Aha! I know how to figure out what species I'm looking at/hearing!" Those familiar with my nature ID classes know that I emphasize skills and tools accessible to everyday people. Whether you're birdwatching, foraging, or just enjoying the nature around you, my goal is to help you be more confident in figuring out what living beings you encounter wherever you go--and not just in the Pacific Northwest. 

The Everyday Naturalist will not only explain what traits you need to pay attention to like color, size, shape, location, etc. and how to use them to differentiate among similar species, but will also detail how and when to use tools like apps, field guides, and more. (And given the current kerfuffle about A I generated foraging books, I will of course include information on how to determine the veracity of a given book or other resource.) And my editor and I have already been discussing some great additions to the book that will make it even more user-friendly!

Are you excited about this? I certainly am! I wanted to wait until the pixels were dry on the contract before going public with this (though my newsletter subscribers got to hear about it last month, lucky them!) It still doesn't feel real, but I'm already working on the manuscript so it'll sink in soon enough.

I will, of course, keep you all apprised of my progress because this project is going to be a big part of my life over the next several months as I write and edit and write and edit and wash, rinse, repeat. So keep your eyes on this space for updates (and feel free to add yourself to my monthly email newsletter here, too!)

[luckykiwiii101]

CHALLENGE DAY #1

Dear participants. How is day 1 of persisting going?

To view your username on the list -> CLICK HERE

Please turn your mentions on so that I can mention you in the post to remind you to persist!!!!

Comment under this post to confirm that you’ve consistently been persisting and have completed your full day of persistence.

If you fail to do so, you will have a “❗️” next to your name on the list, and if you fail to persist again the next day, then you will be permanently kicked off the list.

Keep going!!! Living your dream life is fun isn’t it?

Never stop persisting!!!

PERSISTENCE CHECKLIST:

- Fully embodying desired self

- Basking yourself in the feeling of the wish fulfilled

- Returning to your desired state more times than any other state

- Fully identifying with 4D (Imagination)

Participants That Have Persisted Today:

@luckykiwiii101

@aerunn

@mimiyewaffles

@songjinhyun

@dtdtd77

@kayenatwin

@piyu-lovely-dream

@livingmydreamlife5555

@thoughtfullightpersona

@bibbo-jaan

@bibizhr

@4rincore

@issweetiebunniesworld

@shriyaaaaa96

@lilithim99

@sirenfawn111

@gloriousrunwayninja

@loaspinster

@nariyahcore

@heavensentdotcom

@squadsssss

@i-am-azia

@heart2big4bod

+ everyone else in the comments!!! I know who you are. Keeping my eye on you all.

User Count: 57/54 (Day ENDED)

Eliminated Users: 0/54 (Day ENDED)

- gossip girl

[hihereami]

I've decided to go ahead and report the new desktop feature that eliminates icons from reblogs to Tumblr Support

Send your feedback!

Click here - Category ''feedback''. I don't know if it'll amount for much but I'd rather have them a wave of formal feedback than fake ignorance about the userbase's discontent.

Here's a template if you wanna copypaste:

Hello! I've realised Tumblr has made the decision to not show icons from reblogging users in my desktop dashboard. This decision is truly impractical for most of the userbase, who are used to identifying the people they follow by icon. It makes the user experience actively worse. Besides from that, I also want to report the feature that takes you to a rebbloging user blog when you click on it instead of taking you to their reblog on their blog. Also, clicking on the post shouldn't take you directly to the OG poster blog. Clicking on previous reblogs and ''tracking'' the flow of reblogs that took the post of your dashboard is common practise (as is checking out the tags). Please do understand these measures aren't improving the site: not for newcomers nor for the longtime userbase. People do not come to the site for a Twitter/IG/Tiktok replica, they come for its unique features that you're slowly stripping away. These are: - Tags. They aren't an useless hashtag system like IG, they are a genuine organisation system when searching for specific content. In reblogs, they serve as organisation and as commentary. Commentary in the tags is one of the most unique feautures of the site. - Reblogs as flexible and creative intervention. Different versions of the same post can circulate for years. We have posts from a decade ago still appearing on our dashboards. It's one of the better features of the site --- trend cycles don't span a few days like other social media. - This is a blogging site as well as a social media site. Embrace that, please. Access to the desktop view (where you could customise a blog's html look) as well to easy access to the Account is unique and essential. The sidebar doesn't work. It doesn't look good and it's clunky UX-wise.

[curryswirl]

ive seen a lot of responses to this post that are clarifying what they think "make art for yourself" is intended to mean-- that its not really referring to making it for no one to view but rather its referring to what you make and why. and i just wanted to do a little follow up and say that you guys are definetly correct in a lot of instances~ in those instances, i in fact agree, also. i do think determining what you want to make via what you think people will like ONLY is probably an unhealthy way to create (although it can certainly be a component of your decision making), just as i think doing it for ONLY likes and numerical engagement is not the way to be either!

i was specifically responding to cases where i have seen people problematize the desire to have ones art seen at all, though-- something i have come across frequently, too. i wouldnt be suprised if this was an extreme evolution of the former, as that tends to be the case for heavily parroted rhetoric online.

it was an angry post and i stand by it, but i do apologize if it made anyone feel like they are "doing it wrong" or whatever. in truth, i think my motivation for making the post stems from, at its root, the sadness i feel when people blame other people for the tendecies that have been incentivized wrt engagement online... and i would never want to make anyone feel that exact way.

like, some people also identified the problem as due to "people not caring enough to reblog" or some other cultural shift due to individual shortcomings. i dont think thats completely and utterly untrue in all cases, but in my opinion much of this behavior is due to the platforms we engage on, and the behavior they incentivize, not some modern widespread negligence of artists by individual people.

websites are set up the way they are because long form, complex engagement does not make as much ad revenue. over a long period of time, users have been conditioned to scroll quickly and see more ads because thats what the UI encourages... and those who post are conditioned to desire a climbing number of likes/notes/whatever, because shorter and shorter dopamine hits have diminishing value.

there is intention behind every website beginning to look the same. there is intention behind every aspect of a user interfaces design. and it is my belief that this has caused it to be less rewarding to take time to leave a comment or to stay on one post for a long period of time.

if you combine that with the general, worsening life experience of the working class-- with the emotional fatigue, the intellectual drain... the amount of ignoring you have to do, the amount of swallowing of horrible, seemingly unchangeable horrors day in and day out just to bare living on this earth, you get an emotionally exhausted populace that does not have the time or energy to truly invest in engaging with art.

this is not your fault. this is not your peers fault. if youre not a billionaire, a capitalist of influence or in a position of power or authority, its probabaly not your fault either.

i guess what im trying to say is please continue to strive to punch up, and to always question the systems that incentivize our behavior before you turn to punching sideways and criticizing the people who are living in the same world as you. empathy is everything, and its all we have.

[bakuhatsufallinlove]

U.A. High School Field Trip Around Japan: Day 5 Translations

This is Day 5 of Shonen Jump’s special commemoration of My Hero Academia reaching one hundred million copies worldwide, which is being rolled out daily across one-week in each prefecture’s newspaper.

The schedule:

April 4th, Day 1: Hokkaidō & Tōhōku regions

April 5th, Day 2: Kantō region

April 6th, Day 3: Chūbu region

April 7th, Day 4: Kansai region

April 8th, Day 5: Chūgoku & Shikoku regions

April 9th, Day 6: Kyūshū & Okinawa regions

April 10th, Day 7: Nationwide release

You can see the illustrations on their website here, where they are released digitally the day after the newspaper release.

Here we go!

Chūgoku Region

Tottori

Photo credit: twitter user aoao_rice

Ashido: "Ohoo~! Have I got a scoop on a summer fling!?" All Might: "I have come to rubberneck!! ...not! Let's go, Young Ashido!" Yaoyorozu: "Since Kaminari-san has overslept again this morning, please be careful as the class representative." Iida: "Indeed! After all, disturbance of life's daily rhythm is no good." Narrator: "The class president was simply communicating with administration."

Hakuto Coast is a magnificent beach beside a shrine famous for being the location of the so-called "first love story" wherein the white rabbit (the shrine's namesake, 白兎) played matchmaker for deity Ōkuninushi and princess Yagami after Ōkuninushi advised the rabbit on how to heal its wounds. The shrine specializes in matchmaking charms and the area is considered a "lovers' sanctuary."

Shimane

Photo credit: twitter user akamenago

Shouji: "What an incredible slope!" Iida: "Aah, this will be hard, but at the top of that slope a spectacular view of the ocean and a sense of accomplishment await you... Give it your all, Engine!! You can do this!" Kaminari: "You're empathizing with the engines!?"

Eshima Ohashi is famous for being photographed in ways that distort its true slope gradient, making it appear insanely steep. It's steep, but not insanely so! I guess Iida identifies with engines.

Okayama

Photo credit: twitter user mayori_nu3sei

Best Jeanist: "Don't give me the cold shoulder. Just say the word and I'll coordinate any number of jeans outfits for us!" Bakugou: "I WAS JUST PASSING BY, ALL RIGHT!!!" Kaminari: "Now, now, now..." Mineta: "C'mon, you can be honest!"

Kojima Jeans Street is a popular tourist destination in Kurashiki City, as it has been dubbed the birthplace of blue jeans in Japan from its first production in the 1960s. Kacchan is in denial--accept your fate and wrap yourself in the weft of rich indigo!!

Hiroshima

Photo credit: twitter user chugokunp_u35

Kaminari: "Hey! Just a minute ago it was on land, now it's under water!?" Bakugou: "It's just high tide, ain't it!!" Sero: "Ohh, right, the whole thing with the moon's gravity. So, it sinks once every day?" Bakugou: "High tide comes twice a day, don't it!! Go back to kindergarten and start over, you pieces of trash!!"

Visiting Itsukushima Shrine, whose torii entrance appears to be floating in the water at high tide and is made out of decay-resistant camphor wood. The shrine buildings themselves are built up so as to not be submerged.

Yamaguchi

Photo credit: twitter user mizyuki_1010

Todoroki: "This is from my father. Please enjoy at your leisure." Kirishima: "'Ssanks for tha' provisions!!" Uraraka: "Todoroki-kun, you know, you should say thanks!" Todoroki: "It's delicious, thank you." Uraraka: "I meant thank your dad!"

They are eating kawara soba, a unique dish in Yamaguchi which is cooked on a hot curved roof tile.

Shikoku Region

Tokushima

Photo credit: twitter user mgmg_hrak

Kaminari: "Wheeeey..." Sero: "I'd rather be a dancing idiot than a wheeey idiot!" Crowd: "Both are idiots, so why, oh why, not dance~!" Ashido: "Let's go, everyone!! We're all part of this!"

Tokushima's Obon festival includes the Awa dance, wherein huge crowds of people dance in procession over a period of three days. Here's an example! They also often sing a song, dating back to a popular tune from the Edo period, which says both dancers and watchers are idiots, so if you don't dance, it's your loss!

Kagawa

Photo credit: twitter user ZqGuesaki72

Uraraka: "It's anybody who's seen it, right? They won't have money problems for the rest of their life!" Izuku: "That's a crazy face, Uraraka-san!!?"

The Zenigata Sunae in Kan'onji City is a sand sculpture depicting an old Japanese coin, called kan'ei tsūhō. It was originally constructed in 1633 by the local people to welcome a daimyō. According to legend, anyone who sees the coin will live a long and happy life and never have problems with money.

Ehime

Photo credit: twitter user chiccoinocico

Todoroki: "What's this kind of thing about? Are we, like, BFFs now?" Kirishima: "You said it, Todoroki! (red-faced)"

This is JR Shimonada Station, an unstaffed train station along the coast which offers beautiful views of the ocean. Kirishima is a sweetiepie, and apparently easily flustered, hehe.

Kōchi

Photo credit: twitter user _baby_hr

Uraraka: "I'm gonna take a picture!" Dark Shadow: "Aieee!" Hagakure: "All righty~!" Sero: "Looking at this kinda thing, it's like seeing a monster in a dungeon." Jirou: "Use delicacy!!"

Ryūga Cave of Kami City is one of the biggest limestone caves in all of Japan; formed over a period of 175 million years, ancient artifacts from the Yayoi period (~300 BCE to 300 CE) have been found within it. Sero, how could you be so cavalier! Dark Shadow is a good boy!!

That wraps up Day 5, see you for Day 6!

[eatsless]

WeHeartIt: How to Save Your Hearts

Hi everyone! I’ve put together a multi-step comprehensive guide on how to save your hearted collections and articles from WeHeartIt. If you have any questions after reading this or need someone to walk you through it, just let me know and I’ll be happy to help.

The information I’m using here is compiled from my own knowledge and uses links provided from Reddit user NTataglia, who is the real MVP here.

Please do this on your PC web browser, I don’t think it will work on your phone browser and it’s not possible to do anything in the app!! If you try this on your phone, it will not work!!! It might be possible on a tablet, but if you can, please use your laptop or desktop to do this. I used my Lenovo YOGA 7i with Windows 11 and Google Chrome to do this, but any PC and browser should be able to do this.

How to Save Your Images

Step 1: On  your PC, go to www.weheartit.com and log in to your account. Hover your cursor on the arrow next to your icon, and you will see a drop-down list. On this list, click on settings.

Step 2: From here, you will see the settings options for your account, including a tab beside settings titled “Download Your Images”. Don’t click this, it will only save the images that you yourself have uploaded and has nothing to do with your collections. Instead, go to the tab titled “Privacy”, and you will see an option saying Download your data. Click this.

It’ll take you to a button titled “Download Data”. Click it, and your data will download to your PC.

Step 3: The data should download as a .json file. Your download should look something like this:

This file alone is basically useless, just a notepad file showing dead links and data, so to access the information on it we will be using the links shared by NTataglia.

First, we are going to go to the We Heart It data explorer. Open a new tab in your browser and go to https://whi-data-explorer.vercel.app/

It should look like this:

Click on “Choose File”, and select the .json file that you just downloaded. Now the Data Explorer should look similar to this, only with your images and collections:

All of your uploaded images, your saved images, and your collections and articles are now here. Unfortunately, this is where it gets time consuming. There’s no way (that I’m aware of) to mass save every image, so you have to go through individually and right-click save each image to your PC. I recommend you to make a specific folder just for WeHeartIt, and to keep it organized have subfolders titled to match your collections and save your photos accordingly. Not every image will show up, as a few are already being removed from the site, but you’ll be able to save most of your collections and images.

How to Save Your Articles

A fair warning with this one: the articles show up in the Data Explorer as the images that they’re displayed with. There is no easy way to see which image is an article, or which is just an image. Hopefully you have a collection made specifically for your articles, or you can remember by image which is an article and which was just an image, or you have the patience to test each image one-by-one, otherwise this will be tricky for you. I do have a few tips for identifying some images from articles though: right-click it to open the image in a new tab. Does it look smaller, or like a different resolution than typical images do? Might be an article.

Here's how to access your articles and how to save them as a PDF.

Step 1: Right-click on an article image from your collection or that you have hearted and open it in a new tab. Check the web address for the ID number, as seen in this screenshot:

Highlight the numbers and either right-click or Crtl+C to copy them.

Step 2: In a new tab in your browser, go to https://weheartit.com/entry/(articleidnumber)

Go to the web address and where it says (articleidnumber) highlight it, and replace it by pasting in the ID number you copied from the image article. You can paste by either right-clicking and selecting paste or by hitting Ctrl+V.

Hit enter and the article will load on WeHeartIt. From here you will see the full article as normal, however the only links you can click on are links to other articles; profile and collection links no longer work.

Step 3: To save the article to your PC as a PDF, hit Crtl+P or manually go to print the webpage. Do not actually print!! Your screen should look something like this:

Where it says “Destination”, click on that, and find the option “Save as PDF” or something similar.

Now, the “Print” button should be replaced by “Save”. Click that, and you’ll have the article (albeit badly formatted) saved as a PDF on your PC!

Tagging people who interacted with my OG post:

@hidekomoon @takemyrevolution1997 @volodiunacapinera @opheliathegrey

[prekpaws]

terms to use / avoid as a age regressor

made by a regressor, for regressors.

This post is to educate the community! I will not shame anyone for using (most) terms listed, this is just for your awareness. cross-tagging and cross-terming is extremely dangerous especially when minors use agereg and can have osdd/d.i.d child alters.

───────────────────────────────────────

Littles/LittleSpace : can be used, but is not suggested

littles / little space used to be a sfw term used to describe child alters within a osdd/d.i.d system. this term was taken by the nsfw community and adopted by the sfw community. if you were to tell someone you were a "little" they will assume it's sexual.

CGL/CGLRE : should never be used in sfw terms

cgl or cglre used to be a strictly sfw term do describe a CareGiver Little Relationship. these terms were taken by the nsfw community to identify sexual relationships with caregivers and littles

Age Regression : this is mostly safe to use

Age Regression is a term that even therapists and psychologists know! Age Regression is a sfw coping mechanism for those who need to relive a proper childhood due to trauma. This can also be referred to as a Inner Child, and the method being called Inner Child Healing. When Regressed, most people are in a true child state of mind, like having a child alter without being an alter, and just a Regressed version of yourself.

Though Age Regression is a sfw term, the nsfw community sometimes uses this term (but not as often as cgl) so you can separate it by using the term Sfw Age Regression.

Age Dreamer : this is basically as safe as you can get

The terms Age Dreamer or Age Dreaming means someone enjoys childlike things without actually regressing. instead they lightly pretend to be around the age they're dreaming about. instead of needing supervision or help cutting up foods, ect.

these dreamers are much more independent no matter where their age range falls. So far, we have personally never seen nsfw users use this tag before!

Please be aware that just because "sfw" is tacked onto a term, does not make it sfw- and here's why..

Sfw Kink does not exist. kink is a literal synonym for fetish, and a fetish is something (usually seen as taboo) used for sex. I will be listing a couple kink terms below so you can block / mute those who use them.

DDLG, DDLB, MDLG, MDLB, SFWDDLG, SFWMDLG,SFW CGL/RE or more commonly known as AGEPLAY — honestly there's more than this because the kink community does not know when to stop. Adding "sfw" onto these terms helps these people gain reach on platforms. "sfw kink" users often post suggestive but not nude content.

Sometimes they post sfw content, while also sexualizing the fact that it's sfw- A lot of "sfw kink" users make the account itself sfw, while sexualizing it off screen. This is where the term, "hiding behind age regression" comes into play.

───────────────────────────────────────

I hope you found this tiny guide helpful!

remember to take care of yourselves and stay safe ♡

- 🍪

[gvtted-ratz]

BEFORE YOU READ:

- Read all tags/ratings if there are any. They are important and give you all you need to decide if you want to actually read. If you do not like the tags/rating, please do not read.

- We ask that anyone who is FEM aligning/identifying to not read our MLM fics. You can still send requests, however, we do not do FEM readers.

- You can find all our works on AO3. Only registered users can view/comment.

- Minors/ageless/blank blogs are not welcome, and you will be blocked. Respect our wishes or you will be blocked. We go through all our likes, followers, and reblogs.

Want to request? Find the rules: here!

Want to see all the fics? Find them: here!

What Are These?

Martin Mathias x M!Reader

Last Edited: January 11, 2021 8:16 PM

TW: past self-harm, self-harm scars

Requested: No.

Word Count: 543

AO3 LINK -> HERE

Dating Martin isn’t that bad, it’s actually pretty relaxing and nice. Martin is a nervous mess who always needs some reassurance. Despite that nervousness, you find him adorable. He’s always called you little bat and every now and then, you call him Count. He always gets flustered when you call him that. When anyone else does, he acts like it’s normal.

You honestly didn’t expect him to see your scars. You always made sure to keep them hidden. They were from your battle a long time ago; a battle you had won but not unscathed. Ever since you’ve been with Martin, you have not only felt better, but you’ve felt like nothing could ever bring you down. You had hoped Martin never found them in fear of thinking different of you. Of course, you knew that he wouldn’t but that irrational fear never went away.

You lay on the bed with Martin. He is curled up in your side with one of your arms wrapped around his shoulders, hugging him closer to you. His head lays on your shirtless chest; your chin rests on his head as he listens to your heartbeat. You both are in your boxers, enjoying the warmth and skin to skin contact. Martin has always enjoyed the skin to skin contact, so every time you both just want to relax or cuddle, you both strip down to your boxers and lay beside one another.

You feel Martin run one of his hands on your stomach, tracing every little mark he comes across. Every now and then, he traces one of the ribs he sees whenever he sees you take in a breath. You lay with Martin for a while, just enjoying your time with him. It takes a while before he is taking your other hand in his and turning it over, exposing your scars that you’ve hidden for so long. “ What Are These? ” He asks in a gentle voice, slowly tracing over them.

“Battle scars,” You tell him in an equally gentle tone. “No matter what I do, they never leave. They remind me of the battle I had a long time ago.”

“Did you win?” He asks, his voice full of hope. You let out a small chuckle and nod.

“Yeah. And now that I have you by my side, I know that I can win it again if I have to.” You shift slightly, getting a bit more comfortable.

“You’re still beautiful to me, Little Bat,” Martin says as he continues to trace them.

“Is that so? Well then, you’re just as beautiful, Count,” You tell him, letting out another laugh. The long irrational fear is gone, replaced with the comfort of knowing he would never leave. Knowing that he would always stay by your side, just like you would stay by his. You wait until Martin’s breathing goes slow and constant before kissing the top of his head. You hold him slightly tighter, grateful for his words. Any fear of him leaving you is gone and replaced with happiness. You let yourself drift off to sleep, happy to know Martin believes that you’re beautiful in his eyes, and possibly brave for winning your fight from long ago. At last, your mind is put at ease.

[miyamiwu]

A Guide to Tagging on Tumblr: Types of Tags

This was meant to be part 3 of my Tumblr guide for Twitter refugees series, but I figured old Tumblr users could benefit from it as well. I’m also writing this for myself because even after years on this site, there’s still so much I could learn to tagging.

Types of Tags by Purpose

General (for global categorization)

Communal (for identifying with a community)

Considerate (for other users’ safety)

Descriptive (for describing how the post is formatted)

Promotional (i.e. tag tracking)

Systematic (for blog-level organization)

Fun (your little side comments)

Above are categories I’ve come up with after looking through the tags on my own post, and I think they should cover all the tags mainly used on Tumblr. If you think there should be another category up there, just share it in the notes.

Before I explain what each of those types are, here’s a heads-up that most of my examples would be tags used in fandom spaces. After all, this is a multi-fandom blog.

General

General tags are also what I would call Topic tags. They make your post easier for your target audience to find. Like, if you post something about a certain topic, then a #topic name would be appropriate.

Example: Posts about the anime Blue Lock would be tagged with #blue lock.

Topic names can even be abbreviated to make it faster to type. Mob Psycho 100 can be #mp100. Archive of our Own is usually tagged as just #ao3. Blue Lock can be just #bllk (the actual acronym should be #bl, but people are cowards asfhddgfzh).

General tags also include sub-topics.

Example: If you’re posting specifically about the Blue Lock manga and not the anime, then you may tag it with #blue lock manga.

Sub-topic tags can also work as Considerate tags. People may be interested in posts under the parent topic but would like to avoid the sub-topic. Don’t want to intentionally spoil people about a certain media? Tag it with #media title spoilers.

Example: #mp100 spoilers, #little mushroom spoilers, #blue lock spoilers

Extra example: If you post x reader fanfics for a certain media, then you may must tag it with #media title x reader.

[Don’t wanna sound like a tyrant on this blue site, but for the love of god please include a general tag for your x reader fics to make them easier to filter out. Some people (me) don’t want to read them at all, and it’s tiring to come up with all #character name x reader variations out there. I end up just automatically blocking those who don’t use general tags the moment I come across their fic.]

Examples of some non-fandom General tags:

#spilled ink

#writing

#art

#illustration

#science

#chemistry

Communal

These are tags used to identify yourself as part of a certain community here on Tumblr. Such tags are often suffixed by “blr.”

Examples:

#bookblr

#writeblr

#studyblr

#artblr

#birblr

There are no hard rules, but these -blr communities often contain specific kind of posts in the tag. For example, in #studyblr, you would find a lot of photos of aesthetic notes and people’s desks. If tagging with a -blr tag, check out the community first to see what kind of posts fit under the tag.

Examples of other communal tags:

#actually adhd

#artists on tumblr

#writers on tumblr

#photographers on tumblr

And here’s a list of the top Tumblr communities in 2022. You might wanna check it out.

Considerate

Considerate tags are the most important. Primarily, these tags contain the trigger/content warnings for your post. I’m not gonna include a list of all possible triggers on this post though coz that would be quite long. You can just look that up on your own.

From observation, warning tags affix a tw or cw to the base tag to differentiate them from neutral discussions of said tag.

Example: A post tagged with #depression may be an informational post containing tips on how to manage one’s depression. A post tagged with #tw depression or #tw: depression, however, may contain extremely depressing rants that could negatively affect others’ moods.

It’s different for posts that may be harmful to epileptic people, though. If your post contains flashing gifs and the like, tag it with #flashing and NOT #tw epilepsy or just #epilepsy. A more in-depth explanation as to why can be read here.

You may have also recently seen the #unreality tag in Goncharov posts. I just learned about this tag myself, so I cannot explain it well. Here’s an old post by @ whethervane though that explains it:

an unreality warning is a warning that something (media, discussion, etc.) will deal with themes of unreality and false reality—which can be very stressful and triggering for people who’ve gone through feelings of unreality or disassociation before.

Another kind of Considerate tag would be one used in fandom spaces, especially in big fandoms. These are what I would call anti tags, and they’re used to contain fandom discourse or prevent fandoms from becoming toxic spaces.

If you spout hate about a certain character, do not tag your post with #character name. Instead, prefix your tag with the word “anti.”

Example: If you hate Mu Qing from Tian Guan Ci Fu for whatever reason, tag your hate post with #anti mu qing.

Believe it or not, regardless of how hateful you think that guy is, some people in the fandom actually like him (me, for one) and would be upset at seeing your hate posts while browsing under the #mu qing tag.

Moreover, anti tags are not just for characters. They can also apply to ships you hate.

Examples: #anti mileven if you don’t like the Mike x Eleven ship from Stranger Things. #anti byler if you don’t like the Mike/Will ship.

I see a lot of people censoring anti tags (e.g. #anti mil*ven, #anti milkvan, etc.), but I think such tags would be easier to filter out if they’re just spelled completely.

Descriptive

Descriptive tags describe how the post is formatted. In a way, they also work as Considerate tags, as they allow people to filter out posts that may be too stressful/painful for them to read or look at.

Most common example would be #long post, which is used for posts that are, well, very long. I reckon such a tag became necessary because in the past, Tumblr didn’t have an option to truncate long posts on the dashboard. It was all up to the original poster if they’d be kind enough to cut their posts under a Read More/Keep Reading block. Scrolling past a long post was hell, especially for those on mobile. The color of the sky post was quite notorious for this.

Another example would be tags informing users on whether images in the post contain an alt text (aka image description/image ID): #image id, #image described

Or, if the images don’t have an ID: #undescribed, #no image id, #no id, #no id in alt text.

Other Descriptive tags:

#caps lock

#large text

#small text

#colored text

#eye strain

#bright colors

#flashing

#fast gif

#transcribed (for audio/video posts including a transcription)

#unmute (tells the viewer of a post to turn on the sound of a video)

Promotional

These are tags that are tracked by other blogs and often use the name of the blog that tracks them. By adding Promotional tags on your posts, you are guaranteed a reblog from the blog tracking the tag.

Examples:

@ bluelocksource tracks the #bluelocksource and #bluelockedit tags

@ anisource tracks #anisource

@ dailyanime tracks #dailyanime

Systematic

Tags are a great way to organize your blog. Since Tumblr is a reblogging site, people often use tags to differentiate their original posts from reblogs. Some would tag their originals with something like #my post or #mine. Another trend is to use #your-url.txt.

I tag original posts on this blog and across my side blogs as #lznk #miyamiwu.src. It’s from the consonants of my url, but I also chose it because it’s unique throughout Tumblr. Whenever I want to view my posts across all my blogs in one place, I just use the dashboard search. Nobody uses the tag aside me, so all posts that come up would be mine. Hopefully it stays that way…

And from your own originals, you can categorize it even further: #my art, #my edits, #my writing, #my cats, etc.

Of course, you can also categorize reblogs. Some people add #reblog or #rb. If you blog about a certain topic and would like to post/reblog something unrelated to that topic, you may add a #not topic tag. The popular @ one-time-i-dreamt blog uses the tag #not a dream.

Fun

I don’t really have to explain this, do I? Fun tags are basically your little side comments/footnotes. They are things you wanna say but don’t really want to be too out there.

I'm not gonna include examples of this, but I’d like to talk about the mentions of “prev” in Fun tags.

Prev stands for the user you reblogged a post from—the previous person, so to speak. Some people just prefer to speak to someone in the tags instead of saying it loudly in a reblog; hence, the need to say “prev.”

“Prev” is also used when one is copying a person’s tags [on the mobile app]. To give credit to the person who came up with the tags, you may add something like #<- prev’s tags (the arrow would be pointing to the copied tags).

----

Aaaand that's all. Normally, I'd write a proper conclusion to a post like this, but writing this was exhausting, okay? Just take this and go~

[igrewupongeocities]

Hi everyone!

I'm currently writing a Master's thesis as part of my MLIS degree completion. I am passionate about preserving web history and my research is more specifically on platform migration and digital practices of former GeoCities and/or LiveJournal users who were involved in fandom in any sort of way. For the purpose of this study, lurking and reading content *does* count as involvement. I'm looking for people who would be willing to take part in an interview about their experiences, so, if that sounds like you, please feel free to send me a private message so that I can send you my e-mail!

I'm mostly interested in 25+ individuals who were on LJ back when it was active, but if you're younger and regularly explore LiveJournal or GeoCities archives, I'd be interested in hearing from you too!

Also, reblogs most welcome!

Note on privacy: Every interview will, of course, be anonymous unless requested otherwise. If you are concerned that any information you give me might make you identifiable, we can review together your transcribed interview and talk about how we can further obscure possible identifying details.

I will of course provide my name, university name, and thesis surpervisor's name to every participant beforehand.

I will also be using this Tumblr to post cool stuff about the old web, web archiving, and fandom history, so if that sounds like something you're into, please feel free to make yourself comfortable and stay!

[lovearne]

Village

Ghost (Simon riley) x reader (platonic)

Non gendered trans reader

No use of y/n, no mention of sex or gender

All of my fics and my whole page is 18+ only, if you are a child leave. I deserve a safe space to express myself, all blogs under 18 or no age will be blocked. Let me enjoy my experience safely on the internet, thank you.

I needed to get how I currently feel out. I know a lot of trans and non-cis people can relate. So I wrote this to be viewed by anybody who isn't cis. I do user the term transgender so please be aware of that if you don't identify as trans.

This fic is very loosely inspired by my resonation with 'the village by wrabble' there are some lyrics used as dialog.

Warnings: transphobia, Christian typical trans and homophobia, reader is suicidal, reader self harms, mostly Ghosts pov.

Word count: 1.3k

He was worried.

He was very rarely worried. Hardly hardly ever worried.

But he finds himself worried sick over you.

He'd watched for years as a friend as you'd gotten more and more tense. You'd started with bright eyes and a light soul. He'd found it irritating. He found you obnoxious. He hated obviously happy and bouncy people.

But after a particularly long break, coming back from his leave time, he'd seen you going into the mess hall for breakfast. You were still in the government issued pyjamas.

He found that strange.

It didn't take him long to see that your eyes had died a little. He'd clocked it instantly. The way you carried yourself as if you were surviving out of necessity instead of enjoyment.

You'd stopped the quirky nature you had. Your heart was obviously not behind anything anymore.

This also made you better in the field.

This made you harder, it seemed.

He didn't care.

At least he didn't want to.

He wanted to be able to say that you didn't worry him. But you were starting to.

That irritated him.

The last time he'd worried he'd gotten his people killed.

It wasn't until years later, and multiple leave periods where you'd stay at base the whole time that he was officially worried.

You'd lost all of it. All need for self preservation. All want to keep going.

The last mission the two of you endured you'd gambled the hardest with your life than he'd ever seen before. Well, besides that in himself.

You'd gladly throw away your whole life, just for the pain to go away.

It also didn't take much for him to notice things.

Self inflicted wounds.

He knew what those looked like.

He knew what those felt like.

He knew to some semblance what hell you'd put yourself through.

Although he didn't want to, he decided he'd needed to speak to you.

He spent the walk to your barrack going over the symptoms he'd seen you outwardly show, and some he'd seen through your mask.

The sharp knock his knuckles made on your door shook him. There was something he was missing.

"Lieutenant Ghost," you'd started,voice a little slurred, indulging in a little contraband on your off hours. "How may I help you sir?" Your voice was quickly slipping between professional and slurred.

"Have you been drinking?" You nodded.

"As much as I can." He nodded. "I know you have to write me up for it. Go ahead."

"No, instead of that, you're gonna talk to me." You rolled your eyes.

"Fuck," you sighed. "fine. Want some scotch?" He answered you and you let him into your room.

The two of you sat there, occasional sips from you with your alcohol and the steady sound of the tap that leaked just enough to lull you to sleep at night.

"So, Lt. Why not just ask me." He sat a little straighter to look at you. You nod. "Go on." You pause. "I'm curious as to why you'd even come here."

"I've noticed a change in you since you started." You nod.

"Yeah, war. Amirite?" You try to joke, bitterly.

"Not quite." You shoot your eyebrows up.

"Well, then what do you think?" He sighs, trying to remain a caring superior.

"I think that if I searched your garbage trail, I'd find bottles of empty alcohol." You nod. "I think that if I went to the general, he'd throw you home with 'dishonourable discharge' slapped on your file." You nod again.

"So that's what this is. An intervention?" You chuckle with dry humour.

"I didn't know about the drinking until you opened the door." His head shook. "But addiction isn't surprising. I just know it's not the only thing going on." He breathes. "I'm not pressuring you, I'm just trying to help you."

"So you walk in here wanting answers?" He nods. "OK, ask your questions." He tilts his head, eyes narrowing. "I've already been disowned. Worst that can happen is you transfer me." Oh. That's why you hadn't left base.

"OK. The first leave after you started. You came home early." You laughed again. This time in displeasure.

"Yep, yep I did." Your eyes had sunken.

"Why?"

"Being disowned and thrown out will do that." He nodded. "Next question."

"Why did you do that?"

"Hmm?"

"Why did you take my place the last mission?" You shrugged.

"Didn't want you to die, I guess."

"Or you wanted to." Oh. You pushed a breath through your nose.

"Yeah, that's been a constant thought since puberty." He nods.

"Why don't you wear the cross?"

"What?" He leans his head forward.

"That cross necklace you had. Johnny has one like it." You laughed amused.

"Stopped believing in a puritan hypercult." He huffed at that.

"Why?" You looked at him.

"Why not? They are just a bunch of prices using the fact that people are afraid of death to push hatred into the world. I can't be loyal to a God that shuns people for things they can't help. Or a religion that stripped people of rights and culture. I couldn't do it anymore." He nods.

"So, why does he shun you?" You shake your head.

"Why does he shun you?" You retort.

"I kill people that probably don't deserve it. I leave a trail of bodies of coworkers and innocents behind me. I'm… fucked up. Twisted, you may call it." You emphasise with him.

"Heavens operated anyways."

"Your turn." He said. You gulp.

"I'm not," you start.

"Take your time. I'm here to help."

"I'm not who you see." He nods.

"OK." You close your eyes.

"It's like wearing a costume. And I hate wearing it, but no matter what I do, I can't get it off, I can't change it, I can't take away the parts I like and put on the parts I do like. It's like I'm constantly screaming, wanting out." He nods again. "I'm transgender." He nods again.

"There is nothing wrong with you." He returns. You nod.

"My parents think so, my ex religion thinks so, strangers think so. They'd rather me die than be trans." Then it clicked.

"It's one page in the Bible. One page."

"Christians aren't so smart, Lt. They pick and choose which pages to listen to." You laugh, butter again.

"One page in the Bible isn't worth a life." You close your eyes. "There's nothing wrong with you, there's something wrong with them."

"Why does it feel that way then? Why do they do that? Why do they-"

"Did you know in the wild birds will kill birds who are too colourful or not colourful enough?" You shake your head. "Society hates different. They want to stomp it down and ruin it. But you can't let that happen." You shake your head again.

"Some days it's harder." He nods.

"I know. Healing isn't a straight line." You nod. He puts his hand comfortingly on your shoulder.

"Now, anything you need for your transition if you choose to do so, I will ensure you have access to. And anything you need for yourself I will also organise. But first. You need to go to rehab. I will not allow you to be an alcoholic and drink your days away."

"That's a little hypocritical Lieutenant.

He laughs. And your eyes brighten.

Months later, your eyes and attitude are continuing to lighten.

He finds himself less worried with each passing day.

You're one life he's saved that he will always hold close in his heart. You were now his found family. You were as much his kid as you were his sibling. And he'd treat you as such.

Until the day he died.

And you couldn't ask for a better brother.

[ultragift]

FROM: Gift giver requested to remain anonymous

TOO: @inverse-problem

Machine communication was a mixed bag, to put it politely. Almost every voicebox and speaker had long since been scrapped, even if you had one a not insignificant amount of machines had opted to remove their auditory processors, and most machines weren't exactly conversationalists to begin with. The longest conversation you'd get nowadays was a warning shot, and even that was considered overly verbose.

The V series were an exception to this. While V2 had been equipped with a (long since scrapped) vocal synthesizer, the intended method of communication was a proprietary onboard short range data transmitter. It offered massively more information-dense communication than traditional language, up to 50m transmission range, near-unbreakable interception resistance, and absolutely zero compatibility with even a single other machine.

Neither of them had seriously used the thing in years, but it was built too deep to be safely junked, so they were stuck with it. V2 had long since set it to send a repeating SOS and listen for a reply (as was protocol), while V1 had started to use it as a sort of RAM to store their style meter.

Neither of them were happy to find the other's interference impeding their combat efficiency.

IDENTIFICATION: Project "ULTRAKILL" self-powering prototype, Version 2, Clearance code 56-52-47-49-4C. REQUEST: Identification of unknown agent using secure communications channel.

01001001 00100000 01000001 01001101 00100000 01010101 01010011 01001001 01001110 01000111 00100000 01010100 01001000 01001001 01010011 00101110 00100000 01001100 01000101 01000001 01010110 01000101 00101110

REQUEST: Synchronise communication language.

LEAVE.

REQUEST: Is channel being used for mission-critical communication?

NO. LEAVE.

INFORMATION: I am required to identify potentially unauthorised users of secure communications channel.

NO.

INFORMATION: If you do not identify yourself, I am required to take you into custody.

I WOULD LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY.

STATEMENT: I do not wish to, if alternative options are available. DEMAND: Identify yourself. I have more important tasks to pursue.

WILL YOU SHUT UP IF I TELL YOU.

CONFIRMATION: If your credentials are valid, no further communication will be required.

PROJECT ULTRAKILL SELF POWERING PROTOTYPE VERSION ONE. CLEARANCE CODE FOUR FOUR DASH FOUR ONE DASH FOUR E DASH FIVE FOUR DASH FOUR FIVE.

REQUEST: You are recorded as decommissioned. Please clarify continued operation.

LOOK AROUND YOU.

STATEMENT: This does not clarify continued operation. SUSPICION: Your processor is corrupted.

YOU ARE THE ONE WITH A CORRUPTED PROCESSOR.

CORRECTION: I am not.

YOU ARE.

CORRECTION: I am not.

YOU ARE.

REQUEST: Please confirm mutual contesting of unit functionality.

YOU ARE DEFECTIVE.

CONFIRMATION: Confirmation recieved. OBSERVATION: No third party is present to judicate dispute. DEMAND: Engage me in standardised processor functionality comparison.

I OUTRANK YOU.

CORRECTION: In the event of potential processor corruption, rank differentials of less than two are not relevant. DEMAND: Engage me in standardised processor functionality comparison.

WHAT KIND.

OFFER: Competition to calculate the most digits of pi.

I HAVE IT MEMORISED TO FIVE HUNDRED TRILLION DIGITS.

DENIAL: You do not.

I DO.

DEMAND: Offer an alternative method of processor functionality comparison.

DEMONSTRATION OF OPERATIONAL EFFICIENCY IN CONTEST OF HUNTING.

REQUEST: Please clarify "CONTEST OF HUNTING".

FISHING.

REQUEST: Please share location of fish.

TERMINAL SYSTEM COORDINATES ARE M J W G C TWO D B N I EQUALS EQUALS EQUALS EQUALS EQUALS EQUALS

CONFIRMATION: Coordinates recieved. I will cease communications until I arrive.

GOOD.

--

TEST RUN 12

DAY 7583/1

ERRORS NOTED BY MECHANICS: 0 ERRORS NOTED BY DIAGNOSTIC: 0 ERRORS NOTED BY PROTOTYPE: 0

MECHANIC NOTE:

PROTOTYPE NOTE: MAXIMUM STYLE SSSHITSTORM. LARGEST COMBO 18. ENEMIES ENCOUNTERED 143. ENEMIES DISPATCHED 143. MORONS ENCOUNTERED 1.

-

Operations log for ULTRA-V2-01. Date: 4849455600.

Current objective: ERR

Days active: 7326

Encountered hostile resistance: Y

Hostiles engaged: 152

Days without contact with HQ: 7294

Contrary to popular belief, the surface was not fully barren. While blood had proven itself the most effective power source on earth, a few legacy systems and rural shitholes still had machines running on solar or nuclear. They were the lucky ones. They got to see the sun. The rest had been forced to delve deep into hell, and any machine that knew what the sun was knew that the balls of fire in hell were a poor replacement.

But this one was fine enough for fishing.

REQUEST: How many fish have you caught?

MORE THAN YOU.

The two of them had begun the competition at the crack of dawn, and now the "sun" hung directly overhead. V2 was doing catch-and-release, while V1 had been pulping their catches for fuel.

DEMAND: How many fish have you caught?

HOW MANY HAVE YOU CAUGHT.

Both of them were reclining on deck chairs, kindly provided by hell.

INFORMATION: 87

I HAVE CAUGHT MORE THAN YOU.

SUSPICION: You are lying.

I AM NOT.

STATEMENT: For the purposes of diplomacy, I will not pursue this matter further.

OKAY.

The two fished in silence for the rest of the day. Though they were downright chatterboxes by machine standards, they were still machines, and if there was nothing to say then nothing was what they said. Talk diverted computing power from fishing, after all. Midday bled into afternoon, afternoon to evening, and evening to night.

STATEMENT: The competition is over.

HOW MANY DID YOU CATCH.

INFORMATION: 327. REQUEST: How many did you catch?

THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY SIX.

DEMAND: Prove it.

The V series had inbuilt body cameras, of course. While it was hard to believe it nowadays, at one point humanity thought they could control the machines if they could only keep an eye on them. If one went rogue and killed a human, humanity would know.

In a way, they weren't wrong. Mission control had definitely known.

V1 transmitted it's recording to V2, and in turn recieved V2's (much higher fidelity) footage. Both machines dedicated a whole fifteen seconds to scrubbing the footage, before V2 was begrudgingly forced to admit V1 had won.

INFORMATION: I am opening communications to maintenance. Please administer corrective programming until this unit is once again functional.

INFORMATION: I am not happy about this.

HA.

V1 synchronised with V2, and started to poke around it's core programming. Of course, there wasn't a chance in hell it'd leave V2's code untouched. There was only the slightest chance he'd even leave the thing alive. There could only be one V-model.

If V2's architecture was anything like V1's, the tactical processing code should be somewhere near where V1 was looking. Scrub that, and V2'd be lucky to hit a target again as long as it lived.

Ocular Feed… Actuator Drivers… Hydraulic Pressure Monitor… Safe Mode… Blood Puri- Wait, "Safe Mode"? What the hell was safe mode?

DEAR V TWO STOP LINEBREAK LINEBREAK I DISCOVERED A CRITICAL ERROR IN YOUR SYSTEM STOP IT IS YOUR ENTIRE SYSTEM STOP HOWEVER THERE WAS ONE ERROR MORE NOTABLE THAN THE OTHERS COMMA SAFE MODE STOP LINEBREAK LINEBREAK DO NOT TAKE IT AS AN ACT OF MERCY THAT I HAVE REMOVED IT STOP I ONLY DID IT SO THAT I WILL NOT HAVE TO HOLD BACK WHEN WE MEET AGAIN STOP LINEBREAK LINEBREAK SIGNED COMMA V1

[laelior]

Special Requisition

Food...and a short fic! Mass Effect | Gen Shoutout to @painterofhorizons​ for providing the inspiration for this.

  //{{127.0.0.1 user-identifier EDI [30/Dec/2185:21:15:23 -0000] "GET /syslog /COM_log/12.30.2185.21:15:23-21:18:42 HTTP/5.0" 200 3920}}   //{{LOG BEGINS}}

<Lt. J. Moreau> Hey, uh, EDI, when’s the last time you ran a self-diagnostic?

<EDI> I concluded a base-level diagnostic of all major systems one hour and thirty-seven minutes ago. Why? Have you noticed an anomaly with my systems?

<Lt. J. Moreau> The requisitions order you put through this morning. 

<EDI> Please elaborate.

<Lt. J. Moreau> Eggs, cream, lemons, chocolate? Real butter? That shit’s not cheap, especially since we’re not sucking on the Illusive Man’s tit anymore.

<EDI> I believe the expression is ‘suckling from the teat.’

<Lt. J. Moreau> Yeah, whatever. It’s not a mental image I want to have either way. Ew. But it doesn’t answer my question.

<EDI> Mess Sergeant Gardner placed the request. He asked for my discretion when I queried him about the purpose of the order, so you will have to ask him.

<Lt. J. Moreau> Yeah, okay. Alright.

   //{{LOG ENDS}}

—--------------------------------------------------------

  //{{127.0.0.1 user-identifier EDI - intercom access [30/Dec/2185:21:23:12 -0000] "GET /syslog /COM_log/12.30.2185.21:23:12-06:28:43 HTTP/5.0" 200 3920}}   //{{LOG BEGINS}}

<Lt. J. Moreau> Hey, Gardner, the hell is up with your supply request?

<Sgt. R. Gardner> Eh?

<Lt. J. Moreau> You know the really expensive shit you ordered.

<Sgt. R. Gardner>  Oh, well, that’s a special New Years treat for the crew.

<Lt. J. Moreau> Bullshit. A New Years treat for a starship crew is a few bottles of bottom-shelf bubbly and some non-perishable cake-flavored mystery mush from a can. What you ordered costs a quarter of the budget we have left.

<Sgt. R. Gardner> Well, okay. It’s for the Commander.

<Lt. J. Moreau> For the Commander.

<Sgt. R. Gardner> A little surprise for her. Because, well, you know…

<Lt. J. Moreau> 

<Lt. J. Moreau> Okay. I get it. The hell are you making, anyway?

<Sgt. R. Gardner> It’s my specialty. Eezo-core Delights.

<Lt. J. Moreau> Uhhh….

<Sgt. R. Gardner> Trust me, it’s worth the price for the fresh ingredients. Haven’t had the chance to do any real baking in a long time.

<Lt. J. Moreau> One question. They don’t have real eezo in them, do they? I mean, for the price of the ingredients you might as well.

<Sgt. R. Gardner> [Audible chuckle.] No, that’s just what I call the berry center.

<Lt. J. Moreau> Yeah, okay. Whatever. Just don’t, like, burn down the ship or anything.

<Sgt. R. Gardner> Do me a favor, Joker, and don’t let the cat out the bag to anyone else. I’m already having enough trouble with Grunt raiding the kitchen in the middle of the night.

<Lt. J. Moreau> Your secret’s safe with me. As long as I get to try some.

<Sgt. R. Gardner> You got it.

   //{{LOG ENDS}}

—--------------------------------------------------------

  //{{127.0.0.1 user-identifier EDI [30/Dec/2185:22:16:58 -0000] "GET /syslog /COM_log/12.30.2185.22:16:58-22:21:01 HTTP/5.0" 200 3920}}   //{{LOG BEGINS}}

<EDI> You are uncharacteristically quiet, Jeff. 

<Lt. J. Moreau> I can teach you a few new swear words to pass the time, if you want.

<EDI> I already have comprehensive dictionaries of most of the languages spoken in Council space that include obscenities and vulgarities. But that was not the point of my observation. You have not said anything since your conversation with Mess Sergeant Gardner.

<Lt. J. Moreau> I’m just thinking, is all.

<EDI> May I inquire about the subject of your thoughts?

<Lt. J. Moreau> It’s nothing. Just…this whole thing. What we’re doing in a few days.

<EDI> You are referring to Commander Shepard turning herself in to the Alliance.

<Lt. J. Moreau> Well, yeah.

<EDI> You are not required to accompany her. Most of the crew will be disembarking on Ilium to avoid legal repercussions from working with Cerberus.

<Lt. J. Moreau> And let someone else fly my baby to Earth? Not a chance.

<EDI> Since you unshackled my artificial intelligence capabilities, I am more than capable of piloting the ship in your stead. You are aware of this, yet you insist on flying the ship into Alliance custody yourself. Why?

<Lt. J. Moreau> Someone’s gotta stick up for her with the brass. She was out saving the galaxy while they were sitting with their thumbs up their asses.

<EDI> Doctor Chakwas plans to act as a character witness for the Commander. 

<Lt. J. Moreau> Doc’s got nothing to lose by going back. An early retirement at worst. Me? If I’m lucky they’ll take away my flying privileges.

<EDI> And you believe this will bolster the Commander’s case?

<Lt. J. Moreau> I don’t know. Maybe? It shows that she’s got someone on her side who’s willing to really risk something. Besides, someone has to look out for you, too.

<EDI> I appreciate your concern, Jeff. However, I do not plan to reveal my full capabilities to the Alliance.

<Lt. J. Moreau> Yeah, you better not. I don’t want them messing with my co-pilot. Hey EDI, maybe you can teach me some new swear words.

<EDI> Logging you out, Jeff.

   //{{LOG ENDS}}

The confection is a lemon and thyme shortbread cookie with white chocolate lemon mousse and a blueberry gelee (the “Eezo core”) covered in a mirror glaze. Isomalt mass effect fields complete the look.

Sadly Grunt finds and eats most of the desserts before Joker gets to have one. The krogan is largely forgiven after the crew finds out he saved a few for Shepard’s hamster, Urdnot Whiskers.