#please help I can't stop rambling

[lucabyte]

On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.

Bonus:

[remyfire]

I work with somebody about once a week who is so fascinating to me, especially when they are at our first desk. When someone walks in, they do not so much as smile or look at them, much less greet them. When someone leaves, they don't do anything either. If someone says, "Thank you," they say, "Sure," and if someone says, "Have a good one," they say, "Sure."

Listen. I don't know if it's because I was born and raised in the South for over three decades or because I was the front-facing customer-service-driven person at my previous jobs for a grand total of eight years. But I wince and get a little flappy anxious every time. What do you mean, you're not greeting people warmly so they're smiling as soon as they come through the door? What do you mean, you don't thank them for coming, wish them a good day, and bid them farewell? What do you mean, you just don't interact with the public unless forced, even in our front-facing job?

I think the amiable Southern politeness is just too engrained in me. There is no getting rid of it. And I'm kind of hoping that eventually I can work my way up to having more shifts at our first desk instead of our second because it's a lot weirder to gently greet someone from a distance when the employee closest to them is not paying them a single bit of mind.

[pain-is-too-tired]

Pride month is in a couple weeks chat. And I'm begging for Piper art with queer/unlabeled flags instead of bi/lesbian

I'm on my knees, please please please-

[kyouka-supremacy]

---

[shirleyjacksonism]

"student life" this "student life" that. girl I haven't been to a club in a year. haven't spoken to another student for longer than 10 minutes since the beginning of uni. haven't made plans with ABSOLUTELY ANYONE. everyone seems to get on well with each other and hang out together and everything and I have only spoken to 3 of my classmates in total. I'm living in my childhood home with my mom. thank you but I think I'll skip this "student life"

[gilgil-machine]

I wish some people never had access to internet at all...

TW assault, TW r*pe

[rayofmisfortune]

*confused crying*

Rayyyyy they're being mean to the British baby againnn

Moon's going on a killing spree based on WORD OF MOUTH IMPLICATIONS from A VILLAIN who would FIND ENJOYMENT IN WATCHING HIM RUN AROUND IN LITTLE CIRCLES. THEY HAVE ZERO EVIDENCE AGAINST HIM ASIDE FROM CIRCUMSTANCIAL AND HIM BEING A QUIRKY LIL MAN

Poor Sun trying to talk him down, too- @ikamigami was right (at least I think it was them) Moon is paranoid and going off the deep end

I'm on the verge of making a "the canon is not real if I do not look at it" AU so I can pretend the AU is canon and my babies can be happy

Blorbos confiscated. If they can't play nice with their own characters, then they can't play with them anymore :(

(insert free invitation to rant at me)

I WILL GLADLY TAKE THAT RAJT INVITATION MY DEAR FRIEND (oh my gosh I haven't followed you hsve I 😭 AAAAAH GONNA FIX THAT IM SKRRY AH)

This'll be a little long so, the whole rant and ramble is under cut hehe

MY ROSE TINTED GLASSES HAVE BEEN SHATTERED DUDE 😭

I refuse to accept canon as canon so- *drags over RJ AU Ruin Eclipse* THEY ARE THE CANON RUIN NOW I DON'T MAKE THE RULES

BUT TO BE FAIR... I've noticed a few things that should've been a glaring red flag to Ruin still being a little off the rails I guess-

It's a thing we love about them and it makes then unique i guess... but.. but THEIR ACCEPT STAYING THE SAME SHOULD'VE BEEN A GIVEAWAY THE MOMENT THEY CAME BACK ONLINE AFTER REBOOTING

We've HEARD the actuals Ruin Eclipse before on.. very few occasions.. BUT WE HAVE HEARD THEM! (In the episode where Ruin rescued Foxy and the first Interview with Jigsaw) it wasn't for a long time but... the ACTUAL Ruin Eclipse had talked through Ruin on few occasions.

Linking them below here

With this ^ one, I think that when they start chanting "save me" it was already Jigsaw back in full control.

BUT WHAT I MEANT! Do we hear a poor british accent in any of these instances? NO WE DO NOT!

With this one v

I'm not sure what this one meant. When the video first came out I thought we were hearing Ruin Sun and Moon talking through Ruin who was going on and on about needing to get back to connection and internet..

I mean.. from the Ruin DLC, we know they can probably seperate and talk for themselves?? As seen with Sun who thanked Cassie after being rebooted into Eclipse. (Yes I'm dragging the canon dca into this, Ruin WAS based on that DCA itteration after all..)

And what do we hear when Ruin gets rebooted?

RUIN'S BRITISH ACCENT! I'm probably looking too deep into just how their voice sounded at first vs now... by all means they could've changed their voice over time (as was seen with Puppet). But... I dunno... if they really were just playing everyone a fool this whole time.. I don't think the voice is something we should overlook.

Granted... I believe a lot of things with Ruin may have been retconned or rewritten after the DLC came out. (As canon Eclipse acte nothing like the teams Ruin at the time)

ANYWHO WHY DID I DRAG THIS BEAN OVER HERE YOU ASK? *gestures to RJ AU Ruin Eclipse* well!

Because of a little theory and hc of mine I've slapped onto them! The antivirus DID NOT get rid of the virus as a whole. RJ Ruin Clipsy over here needs to take periodical dosages of the cure to keep the virus at bay and chip away at it to finally be rid of it!

That... that's what I'm gonna hold onto as the reasoning behind how Ruin acts. The actual Eclipse (and even Sun and Moon) is still somewhere in there. As seen in the clips listed above.

Just- PLEASE I NEED THEM HERE W/ ME

[mehmyselfandanxiety]

This is what happens when Ron Perlman voices a majority of the villain's from your childhood.

Painfully hungover one day. This is my response to my lover checking in on me.

[ryebunny]

Hey chat, what do you do when the person you're pretty sure is your soulmate confesses their feelings to you while drunk and then doesn't acknowledge it again once sober? Also the situation is complicated-

[katyspersonal]

Cool.. Our rent price got raised. :') I did not know it was even possible to get even MORE poor than me and mom already were, but here we are. Guess I'll start surviving on literal bread and water at this rate.

[daily-shadow-milk-cookie]

I just got over 60 scambots raiding my inbox right now.

[sarah-kings]

There is two types of content enjoyers when they enter a new fandom:

The type who just is there for the plot, makes some theories here and there and has a good time making head canons and gathering a general knowledge about the lore

The type that has a pin board filled with messy notes and looks like a crazy conspiracy theorist, trying to drag friends into the fandom so they have someone to talk to about all their theories they have made

Usually I'm quite normal when joining a new fandom, but "The Magnus Archives"?

They are tempting me very much to buy the largest pin board I can find and to have at it, because if there is one thing I love more about a story than anything it's puzzling all the little clues together to get the bigger picture

[rachymarie]

Listen I know we are anti-AI here but hear me out: I have finally started seeing some kind of hope (aside from all the good work y'all do out here) for the destigmatization of schizospec illnesses, and liberate us from suffering alone hidden at the edges of society.

Firstly, AI NEEDS to immediately stop stealing from artists (I know, it won't. But a girl can dream) - a huge portion of whom I'd hazard a guess to say are schizospec (not to mention autistic, disabled, etc). Not to mention I have reason to believe that schizospec disproportionately affects BIPOC, or at least their outcomes are often worse. So it is largely affecting marginalized upon marginalized upon marginalized demographics, who are simply trying our best to keep food on the table etc and survive this cost of living crisis ETC.

Secondly, HELP us out! Humanity has been on this earth far too long to still be this embarrassingly behind on stigma. You'd think we would be accepted by now but alas it is not so. Until Hollywood stops making evil violent schizospec characters and saneist plotlines, until people stop making trends, using slurs against us, we can't truly say we are any kind of evolved society.

Now I think that, given it is anywhere near possible to seriously minimize or even eradicate the massive water consumption AI uses (which is currently being COMPELTELY misused on trying to take humans' passions and livelihoods (art etc) away instead of the actual betterment of society), it could be to our benefit. Used wisely (which it won't be), it should have potential to solve the issues humanity still finds itself plagued by. And not by placing any chips in our brains (YIKES. Deus Ex, anyone? If i am thinking of the right game) to "fix" us, but by educating

And hell, even if AI could aid (or if they won't stop being ableist, replace) saneist writers in Hollywood, since none so far (that I've seen) have been able to evolve past their bigotry/hypocrisy (being "progressive" in so many ways, including garden variety "mental health awareness", but ultimately failing to carve any kind of safe life for schizospec) and inspire change to finally touch the lives of a demographic of extremely traumatized and denigrated people.

Anyway I had this thought from Googling things and finding AI overview sometimes helpful and it got me to thinking.

So yeah, need to stop misusing - and overusing - AI!! If it is such a natural resource waste!! Stop adding it as a feature to literally everything, I know AI bros tout it as "making art accessible" - art is accessible (to most) you absolute NINNY - fight your fear/cowardice and pick up a pen/stylus, etc..

Every single thing does not need to have AI. People can't be trusted with this technology at this stage, or at least, largely do not know the true cost of AI and strain on an already suffering planet earth.

At least TRY to put adequate time into making it sustainable before foisting it upon us all!!!!

That is my rant (#2362)

[kyouka-supremacy]

%

[poguelandiarafe]

showered in secrets | drew starkey

pairings - drew starkey x secretgf!reader

warnings - smut, unprotected sex (p in v)

summary - you and drew are in a secret relationship. or at least it’s a secret until drew forgets it is and follows you into the shower, prompting madelyn to interrogate you as to what he was doing.

masterlist

--------

the house is buzzing with excitement, the kind that only comes from the anticipation of a night out with your closest friends. you, along with drew, madison, jonathan and chase have decided to get ready at madelyn's house and have some drinks there before going out.

you're always at her house due to living close by and she always jokes about how you may as well move in from how often you're there, even to the point of having your own drawer full of clothes, shower stuff and a spare toothbrush. it's perfect for an impromptu sleepover.

"mads, can i use your shower please?" you ask, already going to grab your stuff.

"course, you know where it is." she replies, flashing you a smile.

you grab your stuff and a fresh towel and disappear into the bathroom. the sound of the shower running fills the bathroom as you step in, taking a minute to relax in the hot water. you're wrapped in your thoughts, unaware of drew letting himself in and calling out madelyn's name when he's met with a seemingly empty apartment.

----

meanwhile, drew is looking for you, a frown on his face when he sees you're not in the kitchen or living room. his frown deepens when he sees you're also not in madelyn's room while she's doing her hair.

"hey, is y/n here yet? thought she'd have been the first one here. not me." he asks, leaning against the doorframe.

"she was actually," madelyn laughs, curling the last piece of hair, "she's just in the shower."

"oh, thanks." drew smiles, already making a beeline for the bathroom before he has a chance to realise what he's doing.

"drew?" she says, but he's already gone, "she's showering!"

his brows furrow in confusion, wondering why that was an issue, forgetting your relationship was a secret, "yeah, i know!"

stepping into the bathroom, the steam surrounds him and he takes a few seconds to stare at you, not having noticed he's in there.

"you should lock the door you know." he smirks, leaning against the door.

his voice snaps you out of your thoughts and you spin around, eyes widening in realisation that he might've just blown your relationship.

"what are you doing in here?" you hiss.

his smirk falters once the realisation seems to register and you watch as his eye widen, mouth opening to say something but nothing comes out.

"oh my god, drew." you groan, a sigh leaving your lips.

"shit." he chuckles awkwardly, "i asked madelyn where you were and she told me you were showering and well, i've never really not thought about joining you in the shower and i didn't realise and i'm so sorry i-"

"come here, stop rambling." you cut him off, reaching a hand out with a soft smile on your face.

stepping towards you, he grabs your hand and places a gentle kiss on your knuckles. your heart melts at the way he's looking at you and you can't help but lean forward and cup his jaw to bring him into a soft kiss.

"are you mad at me?" drew asks.

"no, but you have to sometimes think before following me into the shower."

his smirk returns and there's a playful glint in his eye, "i do think about it. that's why i always end up in the shower with you."

you roll your eyes but don't stop the giggle escaping your lips, "you're impossible."

drew hums in response before letting go of your hand and pulling his shirt over his head wanting to join you. you go to tell him it's a bad idea but he's already kicking away his trousers and boxers and stepping in, his tall frame towering over you.

"you know, i don't think mads would appreciate if we fucked in her shower." you mumble, but a smile tugs at your lips regardless, arms wrapping around his neck.

"hey, i said nothing about fucking," he leans closer, arms sliding around your waist, and whispers, "but i reckon we have at least a bit of time before she gets too suspicious, don't you?"

you scoff, shaking your head from his boldness, "you're a bad influence, drew."

"yet you still love me." he mumbles, starting to kiss your shoulder, trailing up to your neck.

"course i do," you reply with a genuine smile, "always going to."

drew smiles against your skin and playfully bites at your neck, teasing you. you're so close to giving in, enjoying the feeling of his lips on your skin and large hands gripping your hips to keep you in place. glancing at the door, you bite your lip, contemplating, knowing your friends might be just down the hall by now.

"fuck it."

pulling his face from your neck, you stand on your tiptoes and capture his lips in a heavy kiss. he reacts instantly, walking you a few steps backward until your back is pressed against the cool tiled wall. the kiss is intense, messy, desperate, making you forget all about the fact your friends are probably wondering where you two are.

he pulls back, breathless, "gotta be quick."

rolling your eyes, you tease, "wow, romantic."

"shut up." he murmurs, but there's no malice in his words, "don't have time for foreplay baby, you gonna be okay?"

"mhmm, i'll be fine."

drew's arms encircle your waist again and lift you up, letting your legs wrap around him. your fingers play with the hair at the nape of his neck and you look down in between your bodies, watching as he strokes himself a few times.

"ready?" he asks, noticing the way your breath hitches when he positions himself at your entrance.

"yeah."

he pushes forward, both of you letting out a low groan at the feeling. the stretch is teetering on the edge between pain and pleasure, your jaw dropping in a silent moan. slowly, he continues to fill you until he's bottomed out, patiently waiting for you to tell him to move.

"shit," he moans when your pussy clenches around his length, "feel so good baby, so tight."

"move." you breathe out, head lolling forward to rest on his shoulder.

the sound of skin slapping soon fills the small bathroom and you can't help but bite down on drew's shoulder to silence the moans threatening to escape.

"look at me," he demands, forcing you to lift your head and look at him, "you okay?"

"harder," you beg, pulling slightly at his hair, "please."

immediately, he complies, thrusting deeper and harder than before. you don't even realise how loud you're being until drew's lips are back on yours in an attempt to silence you.

you throw your head back when a particularly harsh thrust hits your g-spot perfectly and drew takes the opportunity to slide a hand down to rub circles on your clit.

"c-close." you whine, squirming in his arms due to your high quickly approaching.

as much as he loves to hear every moan and noise he can draw out of you, there's not a chance your relationship has the chance to stay a secret if he doesn't cover your mouth when you cum. so, he tells you to take over rubbing your clit and his hand covers your mouth instead, knowing any second now your high would hit you.

"cum for me y/n." he encourages, "come on pretty girl."

seconds later, your back is arching off the wall into his chest as your orgasm rips through you. his hips stutter, the feeling of your pussy clenching around him triggering his own orgasm.

"fuck, fuck, fuck." drew moans, his cum shooting into you.

his hand drops from your mouth, uncovering your giddy smile. you don't know how he still has the strength to hold you up, so you press a quick kiss to his lips and let him set you down, though your legs still feel like jelly.

"i love you." he mumbles, hands squeezing your hips as if emphasising his point.

"i love you too. think anyone heard us?" you question, grabbing your shampoo bottle, since you do still need to properly shower.

"probably."

----

ten minutes later, you're standing in front of the mirror staring at a faint hickey that's starting to form on your neck. clearly, your 'no visible marks' rule has gone out the window. you'd kicked drew out before getting on with washing your hair, not needing any more distractions. but now you wished you hadn't purely to get the chance to scold him for leaving a mark.

a voice brings you back to reality, "y/n? you out the shower? i need to pee."

it's madelyn.

"uh, yeah hold on!" you call back, readjusting your top and sorting out your hair, attempting to cover the mark.

when you open the door, she stands there, arms crossed. she's looking over you as if she knows something but can't quite figure out what.

then she spots it. what you thought was a faint mark turns out to be getting darker the more time passes. she decides not to bring it up though, wanting to see what you'll admit to her first.

"thought you needed to pee?"

"not anymore," madelyn replied, stepping into the bathroom and closing the door behind her, "took you ages in the shower, you shaving your legs or something?"

you narrow your eyes at her, trying to figure out if she's being genuine or if she knows something. normally, she's easy to read, but now you don't know.

"just wanted to relax before the chaos hits soon." you gulp when she asks the next question.

"any idea why drew's hair was dry when he got here and it's now wet? or why he seemed to disappear for twenty minutes?"

your stomach flips and you can hear your heartbeat in your ears. pathetic excuses fill your mind, excuses you know she'll never buy in a million years and you don't know what to say.

"what? how would i know? why're you asking me?" you laugh dryly.

"cause i know he had the whole 'greasy bangs' phase but i know drew enough to know he'd never be seen in public wearing this much hair gel and i don't have some luxurious pool he could've been using while i was finishing my hair."

"maybe he just... i don't know, splashed some water on his face or something?" you stammer, avoiding her gaze.

"okay, now i know you're lying. spill, i know something's going on with you two." madelyn smirks.

you sigh in defeat, "fine, but you can not say a word to anyone. i mean it."

her eyes light up and she nods quickly, "i promise. not a word. please tell me!"

you look between the door and her for a few seconds, thinking over the pros and cons, but she's your best friend. you have to tell her.

"i-uh, okay. me and drew are together. and not in a 'friends with benefits' kind of way. like, we're dating, have been for about four months," madelyn's jaw dropped, her hand covering her mouth, "but it's a secret so please don't mention it to anyone later. you're the only one that knows."

"oh my god, i knew it. you're so cute together." she squeals, hugging you.

"keep your voice down!" you whisper-shout but return her hug nonetheless.

"i want details later." she pleads.

"yes boss."

"also, i know you guys totally just had sex in the shower. i don't care, but if you don't want anyone to find out, cover the hickey. the hickey makes it so obvious." she winks at you before leaving the bathroom.

yeah, you definitely need to cover that.

[aquaglow]

confidence guide for awkward girls 💫

LEARN TO SHUT UP. this is the first advice because it is probably the most important one, but the one that took me the longest to comprehend and master. girl, literally just shutting the fuck up does wonders. most of the times I was embarrassed out of my mind was coz I said something completely avoidable, only because I believed that being quiet was either rude or more awkward than whatever I rambled at that moment. bzzt, WRONG! being quiet means first of all being non-reactive, which gives you time to really reflect on what's being said and whether or not it even requires a response, and guess what; like 80% of the time, it does not. you are allowed to not respond, nod along, go "hmm" or "oh!" and leave it at that.

LEARN TO "FAKE" SMILE. this may seem controversial but it helps me so much. I've always been accused of looking mean, bitchy or just too serious, especially since I started to shut the fuck up (see previous item). and I am guilty as charged: I do have a RBF and when I am focused my eyebrow goes ò_o and I look judgemental and almost evil, and when I tried to balance it out by being funny or witty, it just came off even more awkward. the solution? I've started practicing a fake smile in front of the mirror when I was about 13 years old until I got the muscle memory of it so perfectly that now it's my response to nearly everything that I don't want/can't respond to. throwing an easy smile into a conversation will make you seem relaxed and in control even if you're bubbling anxious inside, and people will feel more at ease with you. also: learn to be generous with compliments, and try to make them your auto-response as well!

STOP COMPARING YOURSELF. comparison is the mark of insecurity and envy, and it's one of the ugliest and most useless habits you can have. yes, useless: what benefit do you get from comparing your face and body and circumstances to somebody else's? and please don't pretend you're getting "inspiration" from them. listen, you are your own lane. you are your entire universe. there is no other life to be lived, no other body to embody. this is it. these are the cards you were dealt with. the longer you try to peak into somebody else's cards, the longer you'll be ignoring yourself and neglecting your game. abandon ideas such as comparison, imitation or judgement towards others. confidence starts and ends with focusing on yourself.

LEARN TO CUT PEOPLE OFF. accumulating people in your life like they're pokémon is gonna be your downfall, because it's obvious not everyone can stay. imagine if a growing tree held onto all its leaves and branches, even the ones in obvious decay, how ugly and weak that tree would be, how much energy those dying parts would steal from the new ones in need of flourishing. it's the same with relationships. when someone disrespects you, hurts you, or simply doesn't align with you anymore, and you find excuses to keep this person around, what you're doing is betraying yourself, and how are you gonna have confidence in someone who betrays you? learn to cut people off or to simply let them go, and watch yourself become lighter and brighter.

QUIT BEING A BITCH. something people don't seem to understand is that the rude, conceited, mean girl persona is always revealed to be a small, petty and insecure rat on the inside. I've wasted years of potential connections trying to emulate the Blair Waldorf-y, Regina George-y vibes, trying to balance out my awkwardness with what I thought was their fierceness, because I was missing the whole point that their confident selves were lies. no girl or woman who is confident in herself spends any amount of time being a bitch, scheming to take people down, minding everyone else's business to make sure she stays on top. true confident people are kind even in the face of rudeness, they glow in shadows; their strength lies in tenderness. the sooner you give this mean girl show up, the better.

ABANDON YOUR NEED FOR APPROVAL AND COMPREHENSION FROM OTHERS. seeking approval is a very obvious trap but seeking comprehension is also dangerous, because the second people start doubting or questioning you – which is always going to happen when you decide to make a change of habits, traits, lifestyle etc – and you decide to explain yourself, you're accepting the premise that what you're doing is incomprehensible. if you're truly sure of yourself, there will be no need to assure others of yourself. if your peers or strangers don't understand it, so what? that's their enigma to sort out. respond to yourself and yourself only. if you understand and approve yourself, that's all you need, period. live for your damn self.

GOOD LUCK, LITTLE STARS 💫