#-online friend and listen to me ramble about my interests without any regards to yours and show off how cool my life is to you like always?

[katyspersonal]

Cool.. Our rent price got raised. :') I did not know it was even possible to get even MORE poor than me and mom already were, but here we are. Guess I'll start surviving on literal bread and water at this rate.

[savvyblunders]

Personal Post: Imposter Syndrome, Reading Traditional Books, and thoughts about my own writing

{Just rambles regarding books, fanfiction and some of my thoughts therein.}

It’s been a terribly long time since I read any published books--aside from those written by fellow fanfiction authors. It has reached the point that I find them entirely too cringey. The plots are tame, the characters stiff, the language rote. I especially have a hard time caring if there is a supposed ‘romance’ involved. Forget about het romances, they’re so formulaic that they leave me cold. It isn’t that I have no interest in the portrayal of a relationship between a woman and man, it’s that by and large they might as well have been churned off of a factory production line. 

Part of my objection is to the tired old tropes and gender roles which authors (and readers) don’t seem to realize they’re not only falling prey to, but encouraging with their work. The world doesn’t have to be turned on its head to be interesting, but you shouldn’t know from the first few scenes between characters how it will play out--and further more, not care.

I did read a rather good psychological mystery a few days ago, however. I think perhaps it was successful in part because it was so different from the usual run of stories that people publish, but also because there wasn’t a romance shoe-horned into the storyline. The narrator wasn’t particularly sympathetic, but nor were they entirely unredeemed. I don’t want to give too much away, but it explored the themes of bullying, memory, redemption and revenge, with an enjoyable twist that I didn’t see coming--I was successfully led astray by red herrings, which isn’t always the case when I’m reading mysteries. The book, should anyone be interested, was Girl Gone Mad by Avery Bishop.

{I keep on rambling after the break ;)}

I also read another which was such a stinker I deleted it from my Kindle history and couldn’t tell you the title or author. This beauty had a somewhat interesting premise of a woman who wakes from a six month coma with full amnesia and throughout the book has to struggle with not remembering anything and depending on her husband, children and neighbors for the details of her life. Frustratingly, she finds parts of her personality and tastes have changed--at least as far as they all tell her. She begins to doubt that she is who they say--an issue further compounded when certain facets of her life pre-coma are revealed. Then when the ending arrives, there is a twist and a reveal which could have been pretty neat, only it arrived at the end of such a rote story, with such clunky storytelling and unimaginative language that I kind of didn’t care. It was clear, I might add, that the female protagonist was written by a man. Although blessedly he didn’t go into raptures over her perky breasts, long hair, or other physical attributes [insert vomiting]

My reading resulted in a two-fold feeling. One, traditionally published books are by and large crap. A few months ago I tried reading a book from a famous author whom I used to be quite a fan of. It was part of a series with which I used to be enamored. I settled in, expecting a very enjoyable read. After slogging through three chapters I gave it up. The writing was generic, the characters shallow and the ‘bad guy’ was so sketchily written as to be bewildering, not mysterious. 

That book left me frustrated and annoyed. But it also revealed something to me which I had somewhat accepted and understood prior to that, but not entirely absorbed. Just because a book is traditionally published doesn’t mean it’s any good. Just because an author is well known--or even on the best seller list--doesn’t mean they can write. There are more places to find interesting, funny, heartbreaking, sexy, fun, amazingly written, daring and wonderful stories than at a bookstore or through Kindle. 

The second part of my two-fold feeling was that while, as a writer, I may have much room to grow, I still have valuable skills to offer. My four years of writing fanfiction have honed my talent, refined my style, and influenced my voice, perspective and ability. A good beta, or editor, is invaluable. While I used to write solo and not show it to anyone, simply edit and post, I’ve come to understand the inherent value of feedback. It can be a tricky road, as you might find yourself influenced too much by a reader into trying to suit their tastes rather than your own, but a good beta (eternal thanks to @paialovespie & @hoomhum)--that is to say, a great beta, will not only see the nuts and bolts which might need tightening, but will offer insights which blow your story from ordinary to inspired. The same goes for a ‘personal cheerleader’ (the highest of praise to @mottlemoth) or someone who reminds you at your dark times that you are capable of far more than you can conceive of in that moment. Forget nasty comments online, most of us are our own worst enemies--after all, we know our weakest spots and can zero in on them mercilessly.

Even without a beta, I believe in myself as a writer enough these days (most days) to hope that one day, with hard work, skill, great editing, and some luck, I too could be published. Not a NYT best seller, perhaps, but then, I’m not entirely certain I’d like that. I don’t say this out of any sort of pretentiousness, but because, in essence, these days, I want to write the kind of things that appeal to a more niche audience. I’d like to point with pride at my small book, nestled there on a bookshelf, or available with one click of a button, as something that helps give a voice to a community which has, and still continues to be, marginalized, ignored, fetishized and pandered to, in equal measure. Perhaps it would be for the best if what I wrote wasn’t palatable to the greater reading public.

Of course, those days when I’m full of zest and confidence don’t always last. Like any creator, I fall prey to Imposter Syndrome. Lord, I can’t believe that a time used to exist when I didn’t know what that was! I knew the feeling (oh, how I did), but had no clue that a term existed to encapsulate it. The concept that I wasn’t alone in having days (weeks, months, years) of being cast into doubt that I had anything worth saying--a voice worth listening to--isn’t a new one, but to find out that I’m not alone was unutterably comforting. 

Since, like so many people, I’ve been suffering from a lack of ambition and ability to focus during this global pandemic, I haven’t written much at all, that inner voice rang loud and clear. I’m a fraud, a fake. Any ability I had was used up, clearly as shallow as a mud puddle if a little adversity was enough to dry it out. The struggle to get myself past that was, and is, one that swings from good to bad almost day by day. I had to finally give myself permission to be sad, scared, worried, tired, uninspired. Eventually I decided it was enough that I could find comfort and solace in other’s writing. And oh, how I have! Even though days and days would pass when I couldn’t even muster the interest to read, other times I would consume fanfiction fervently, feverishly. 

And there was so much out there! Adventure, sex, romance, comedy, crack, fluff, hurt/comfort. It seems funny that I can rail against the ‘formulaic’ writing of published books and then turn to ‘tags’ and ‘tropes’ for comfort. But I think the difference lies in the heart that is written into those fanfiction stories. Most of us, while being somewhat influenced by friends, mutuals and fans into writing for a hungry public, are, by and large, writing for ourselves. The old tried and true ‘write what you know’ advice seemed empty and meaningless to me for years. If we only ever write what we know, then how do sci-fi, fantasy, adventure, etc., get written? My brain went to the obvious and ignored the heart of the matter--it isn’t so much what you ‘know’ as writing what you need. What makes you passionate. Even if you’ve never been on a space ship, or been part of a polyamorous, platonic communal family group, if you write it with that yearning and spirit in your heart, it will reach out to someone else.

Fanfiction, at it’s core, is self-comfort.

In my estimation, looking at traditionally published books, it seems that what most of them lack is that heart. The writers aren’t writing because they need the story, or because they are compelled to tell it. It isn’t that they had a hell of a good time writing it, or that they made themselves laugh while doing so. They had a publishing deal to fulfil, a publisher to make happy, a reading public who had certain expectations. There’s nothing wrong with that of course, but if it’s your only motivation...then the writing suffers the neglect and a percerptive reader will note the difference. 

By and large, the fandom, the ship, even the trope, aren’t what captivates me most. I’m a pretty eclectic reader. I enjoy a good story more than I do the fact that it is a particular pairing. The draw is how well it is written, any chances the author took, the indulgence into style, formatting, etc. that they allowed themselves. So why should published books be any different? I’ve heard (non-fandom) people dismiss fanfiction as niche. Perhaps it is. But it is also broad, vast, uncharted territory where we’re all having a lot of fun and enjoying the hell out of ourselves.

Maybe those published authors need to spend a little time with us. 

[aquariusrunes]

The Superfriends AU (part 10)

Damian was not having a good day. It was six in the morning, he had to be at Edna’s photoshoot in an hour, he had left a perfectly warm and very cuddly boyfriend and large dog in his bed, and his cousin was rambling far too much for his taste. He sat out in the lobby of the floor their rooms were on, leaned back as far as he possibly could in one of the red chairs, his legs crossed, hands gripping the armrests. A scowl to rival Batman's resting on his face. 

Marinette sat in the chair next to him, his laptop on the coffee table in front of them. The girl was hunched over typing frantically on his phone. She had kept it all night, which didn’t both him much, he could go a few hours without being constantly updated on the Gotham Academy Class 1A drama. As long as she was keeping it charged. 

The second half of the photoshoot the day before had been very interesting, his cousin spending every moment of every break they got on his phone. When he had a moment to check it at dinner he noted four unknown contacts, she labeled each of them.

First there was Sweetness.

Then there was Mighty Mouse.

One labeled Rock Vamp Opera.

And finally the one she had been exchanging the most texts with, Foxtrot.   

He waited for his cousin to finish whatever long text rant she was obviously on, instead he checked himself in the camera of his laptop, fixing his hair. He smoothed it back as best he could but without any product it was hard. Edna had forbidden him from gelling it till the shoot was over. The things he put up with in this family, really. 

“What exactly are we doing?” Damian asked. 

“We’re going to…” She trailed off, still focused on her texting. “Video call some girls I go to school with.” She finished. 

“At six in the morning?” He asked. 

“Time difference Dames.” She set down his phone. “Okay!” She pulled his laptop close. “They just broke for lunch so Juleka should be logging on soon enough!” Marinette pulled up a web page browser, typing in the URL for Instagram. She immediately went to Damian’s account. He wasn’t sure when his cousin had gotten his password, but knowing how much Dick loved to mess around on it, he had to assume she got it from him. 

“Okay, I’m going to change a few lines of your bio.” 

“Why?” He asked, head falling back. 

“Well, Colin takes over your instagram on weekends right?” She asked.

“When I see him, yes.” Honestly, Colin and Dick were really the only ones who posted on his instagram. It was clearly stated in his bio that Colin controlled his instagram on weekends, the fact that Dick was in control of it the rest of the time, was not mentioned anywhere.  

“So I’m going to change this line, red menace takeover weekends. To something clearly stating your relationship.” 

“He’s called my boyfriend in practically every post that features him.” Damian said, now leaning forward to see what his cousin was altering. 

“Yeah, but people are lazy, and don’t want to dig. They want things to be obvious and loud so they don’t have to put a lot of thought into it.” She grumbled. “Trust me, I know from experience, some of the people at my school literally have to be punched in the face and then kick in the nuts by the truth before they believe it.” 

“Try not to sound too bidder Nette.” Damian hummed. 

“Just, prep yourself to give a good speech about your and Colin’s relationship. We’re really going to need something that pulls right on the heart strings.” 

“Because?” He asked, this whole morning was excruciatingly annoying. 

“Are you going to use Rose?” Damian looked up, taking notice of two blonde Parisian teens standing at the entrance to the lobby. They both were still in what looked like pajamas, both holding coffee. 

“That’s the plan.” Marinette said, answering Adrien’s earlier question. 

“Devious.” Chloé cocked her hip, taking a sip from her cup. “And relatively smart. Should be quite the show. Shame we’ll miss it.” 

“Someone could always ask nicely for their friends to record it.” Marinette mused. 

“Should I text Nino?” Adrien asked, his face clearly stating how unsure he was of the situation. 

“If you want.” Marinette said, finishing her work on her cousin’s social media. “I’m going to give my crew a heads up once things are in motion. If you do text him though, let him know nothings happening till, most likely, after lunch.” 

“Marinette?” Her fingers stopped their work, her head popping up to look at Adrien. “You sure about this?” He asked. “It could be kind of...explosive.” His fingers tightened around his coffee. “What if it causes an akuma?” 

She gave him an understanding smile. “Don’t worry Adrien, I’ve got contigonsies for that. Like I said a few days ago, I’m playing a game of RISK, and you can’t win the game if you don’t capture any territory.” 

“And your about to clear the board form the looks of it.” Chloé smirked. 

“Something like that.” Marinette looked back down at the computer, switching back onto the video chat app and logining online. “But the goal isn’t to clear the board, not yet.”

… 

Contrary to popular belief nowadays, Mylène did not hate Marinette. She didn’t even necessarily dislike the girl. But she did not agree with the brash and loud way she had been going about her problems with Lila. She found them rude and distasteful, and honestly, a little out of character for her once friend. She was sure Marinette didn’t do everything Lila accused her of, at least half of the allegations had to be simple misunderstandings that the two girls could never figure out because they were always at one another's throats. 

But try as she might, she just couldn’t take Marinette’s side. Lila brought up quite a few good points in regards to Marinette’s character, while the Italian girl wasn’t a saint either, Marinette wasn’t quite the angel everyone thought she was. And some of her and Lila’s fights were truly violent and horrendous to watch. 

But she wasn’t one to speak poorly of others, especially not Marinette. While the girls weren’t friends anymore, and she didn’t agree with what was now Marinette’s additude, she still was nice to most people, even those who sided with Lila. And she did a lot for people, even when they didn’t notice her good deeds. 

Marinette had always been very eccentric ever since Mylène had known her. But this was probably one of the strangest things she had ever experienced due to Marinette. Mylène was seated on Juleka’s bed, Rose seated on the goth girl’s other side. They were staring at Juleka’s laptop, a facetime app opened. 

Last night all three had received text messages from unknown numbers claiming to be Marinette texting from a friend’s phone. Mylène was sceptical, even after getting a picture sent to her, but Rose was curious and so was her other friend, so when they said they were going to be eating lunch at Juleka’s house so they could talk with Marinette, Mylène agreed to go along with everything. 

“Okay…” Juleka typed in the screen name she had been sent the night before, AmyrWayne05. 

“What do you think she wants?” Mylène asked. “And who’s phone was she texting from?”

“I don’t know..” Rose crossed her ankles. “I didn’t recognize the boy in the photo she sent.” 

“Neither did I.” Juleka said. 

“I didn’t even know Marinette was out of the country.” Mylène whispered. 

“Kim and the others probably did.” Juleka supplied. “I doubt she wouldn’t have told them,”

“But why didn’t they tell us?” Rose asked, blinking innocently. 

“I can think of a few reasons.” Mylène’s voice was low, wondering why her boyfriend hadn’t said anything. 

“Well whatever they might be, we’re about to find out.” Juleka called attention to the screen name displayed on her laptop. The three girls watched as the smaller text underneath the name changed from offline to online. A second later Juleka was being asked to join a video call. She quickly hit except and the screen went black, loading until the familiar face of Marinette Dupain-Cheng was on the screen. 

“Girls!” She said happily. “Thank you so much for calling!” 

“You said it was important.” Rose said, eyes a little down cast. The girls didn’t exactly talk on the regular any more. 

“It is! Super important.” 

“So, what’s going on?” Mylène asked, wanting to get through the call as quickly as possible. She had felt weird all day, not telling Lila or Alya about the texts from Marinette, it was like she was cheating on them. 

“Okay,” The bluenette let out a large breath. “I know you guys think Lila hung the moon-”

“Marinette I am not going to sit here and listen to you bash on her!” Mylène interjected. 

“That’s not what this is!” She waved her hands frantically. “I promise!” 

“It better not be.” Mylène crossed her arms. 

“I promise girls, it’s really not. I-just, okay, so I heard that Lila’s been telling people that she’s dating Damian Wayne. Right?” 

“She is.” Rose informed. “They’ve been dating for a few months now. They’re really in love and I’m not going to listen to you say anything negative about their relationship Marinette.” Anyone who knew Rose, at least knew her well, knew that love was the thing she was most passionate about. She refused to stand for any sort of injustice involving the subject and would defend a couple till her dying breath, no matter how well she knew them. 

“Okay.” Marinette said, voice low. “Then I won’t say anything.” She gave a sad smile. “I’ll let him tell you.” The laptop suddenly shifted, the view changing quickly from their classmate to a good looking young man they recognized from the photo Marinette sent the night prior. 

“Hello.” He said, eyeing each of them carefully. “Do you three know who I am?”

“Your the guy from the picture Marinette sent.” Jukela answered. 

“Would one of you please google Damian Wayne for me?” He asked, Rose quickly complying with the request. She looked up the famous boo of their friend on her phone, a small gasp escaping her lips as she turned the small screen towards her girlfriend and Mylène. 

And there was the boy currently on Juleka’s laptop.

“You’re Damian Wayne?” Mylène asked. 

“That’s what my driver’s licence says.” He said, but his tone made the three girls unsure whether it was supposed to be a joke or not. 

“Why are you with Marientte?” Juleka asked. 

The boy looked to something off screen, probably the girl in question. “Can I?” He asked. He waited a moment before sighing. “I’m sure you’ll all find out why later, but for the moment, all you need to know is that I am with her as of the current moment.” 

Rose gave him a strange look but didn’t say anything. 

“This is why you wanted to talk to us?” Mylène asked. “To tell us you were hanging out with Lila’s boyfriend?”

“No.” Her voice came. 

“Actually, Lila is why we wanted to talk.” Damian said. 

“What about her?”

“She’s not my girlfriend.” 

The three girls all went quiet, none speaking. His face was pensive, eyebrows nicked and corners of his lips pulled down into a frown. “I’ve never even met Lila.”

“But she said she’s known you since you were very little!” Rose exclaimed.

“A lie.” He said simply. “I couldn’t have known her from the time I was little because I was locked away in a compound till I was ten years old, and even then I was kept exclusively within the walls of Wayne Manor for another year before my father could introduce safely to the world as his ward without my Grandfather taking harsh and violent action.”

“She said her parents were friends with your dad.” Juleka added.

“I’ve checked with my father and he’s never met anyone with the surname Rossi. And none of his friends have a child named Lila.”

“I’m very confused.” Rose whispered. 

“Girls, we need your help!” Marinette’s voice came. “Or rather, Damian does.”

“With what?” Mylène asked. 

“Adrien mentioned that Lila’s been telling pretty much everyone that she and I are dating, is that correct?” Damian asked, his hands folding in front of him. 

“She’s been talking about it for the past few days.” Mylène said, she vaguely remembered Nino mentioning Adrien being out of town for a modeling gig that involved Damian Wayne, she was still confused as to why Marinette was with them though.

“She’s told practically everyone who would listen, and some who wouldn’t.” Juleka crossed her arms. To most it would be hard to pick up on, but Mylène could tell when the girl was angry. Juleka had been questioning Lila a lot more lately, Mylène was sure the girl was just waiting for a good reason to switch sides, and the only reason she hadn’t already was because of Rose. Juleka had been Mylène’s saving grace when it came to her current problems with Ivan. The goth girl was probably afraid of a rift forming between her and her girlfriend the way it had between the classes former favorite sweet hearts. 

Damian sighed on screen. “I’m not a person who likes to ask for assistance from others, but under these circumstances, I’m in need of your help.” The three girls watched as his hand raised to pinch the bridge of his nose, eyes closed before his hand dropped and he looked up at them. “I don’t know how much you all know about Gotham, but people have always had mixed reactions when my siblings have come out in the past, my own coming out included. Normally they don’t have a huge problem with it because all of my siblings have come out as pansexual or bisexual, or something that includes both genders. But when I came out I didn’t specify my sexuality. I just announced I was dating Colin.”

Oh no. 

Mylène could feel it, Rose’s heart was swelling. If he was really about to go into a long winded story about he and his boyfriend’s love, then Mylène was sure Rose’s Champion of Love and Justice persona was about to be uncaged. Many of their classmates called it her Sailor Moon mode. 

“Who’s Colin?” Rose asked, voice timmed and quiet. 

“Colin is my boyfriend.” A small smile gracing the boy’s hard features. “We’ll be celebrating our three year anniversary in two months and two days.”

“Oh.” Rose’s hands clasped together, a dreamy look crossing her face. 

Suddenly Damian’s face become more downcast. “Not a lot of people like Colin. Well, not a lot of people who people listen to like him.”

“Why ever not?” The blonde asked, moving so her face was closer to the screen.

“Colin is an orphan.”  The words were blunt and hit all three girls hard and unexpectedly. Of all the things Mylène had been prepared for this morning the heart breaking backstory of Damian Wayne’s boyfriend was not one of them. “Basically anyone with money and influence insists he’s a gold digger trying to mooch off of me. And the Wayne Ward Fangirls are quick to crucify him for anything he does, wrong, right, good, bad, all of it. And of course there are those in the religious communities who are constantly berating us. That faction is especially hard on him, he lives in a Catholic orphanage you see.”

“That’s terrible!” Mylène could swear that the small blonde girl had tears in her eyes. 

“While I agree that’s awful, and I also agree that Lila shouldn’t be lying about dating you, I don’t see what it is you need our help with?” Juleka asked, voice laced in confusion. 

“If word gets around,” suddenly Marinette’s face was squished in frame with Damian’s. “That Damian has a long distance girlfriend, things are going to get worse for his and Colin’s relationship.”

“People in Gotham play very dirty, they’ll latch on to any rumor or fact, as long as it serves their needs. People will be throwing Lila Rossi’s name in my face, in Colin’s face, and in the faces of all of my family members for years.” Damian’s face had gone back to sternly neutral. “People will insist that Colin broke us up or something absurd like that, they’ll use her to villainize him.”

“They will?” Juleka asked, concern written on her face. “That sounds like something that only happens in movies.”

“They will.” He insisted. “Trust me, I’ve seen it happen before to members of my family and their friends. It’s just a matter of time before it gets to the right people, unless…”

“Unless?” Rose asked, voice going high, the girl eager to help. 

“Unless we cut off the head of the snake.” Mylène supplied. “We need to make a statement, make sure everyone who might have heard Lila’s lies knows that it’s fake.”

“The louder the better.” Marinette added. “To make sure she doesn’t turn it around on Colin or Damian.”

“I hate to ask this of you,” Damian said. “Especially since we are perfect strangers, but my c-“ He grunted, his body jostling on the screen as Marinette shot him a glare. “Companion.” He finished begrudgingly. “My companion here, insists that you three can be trusted with this task.” 

“Please help us girls.” Marinette said. “If not for me, then for Damian and Colin.” 

Damian sighed before going into his own plea. “Colin is very important to me.” His voice was quiet. “I’m not the easiest person to get along with, and everyone says I don’t deserve someone like him.” He looked down. “He is one of the most important people in my life and I don’t want some girl, who I’ve never even met, to ruin it because she wanted her five minutes of fame.”

Rose stood quickly from the bed, almost knocking the computer off her girlfriend’s lap. “Don’t worry Damian! We’ll take care of everything!” She shouted, running for the door, her voice leaving behind the call of “no one stands in the way of true love!”

Juleka and Mylène watched her go before the goth girl sighed. “We should go get her before she runs all the way back to school.”

“Yeah,” Mylène stood. “She’s going to need backup.” She looked back at the computer. “Don’t worry, we’ll take care of everything.”

… 

Nino didn’t know what was going on. 

He was sitting on the stairs in the gym area of his school, most of the student body just loitering around. Lunch was over but they still had about five minutes before anyone needed to start heading to their class rooms. The room was filled with soft chatter and laughter, he wasn’t invested in any conversations though. 

Adrien had texted him a few minutes ago and told him to start recording. He didn’t know why, but like a good bro, he did as asked. His phone was barely raised, picking up mostly just the shoes of his classmates. He noticed across the gym Marinette’s crew also had their phones up and were recording, though Nino wasn’t sure why. He now knew that Marinette and Adrien were in Steel City together, but Marinette had asked that the reason she was there with Edna remain secret and Nino didn’t want to pry into the girl’s personal life. If she didn’t want to tell anyone, then she had a good reason. But he also knew, via Kim, that Marinette had no international coverage and couldn’t contact anyone. Leaving the question of what her crew was currently doing? 

Maybe Adrien texted them too? 

But what would he need recorded so badly?

Nino debated getting up and going over to talk to the group but Lila and Alya were stationed in the middle of the gym, either girl would spot him if he made his way over to his secret friends. And he really didn’t feel like lying to his girlfriend today. 

‘ BANG ’

Everyone jumped as the doors to the school crashed into the walls behind them. All eyes on the entrance, taking in the petite form of Rose Lavillant. The small girl’s face was heated a blush pink, eyes narrowed into a glare and hands clenched into fists. Juleka stood on Rose’s right, her backpack slung over her shoulder and her girlfriend’s carried in her hands. Mylène stood on the girl’s left, arms crossed and an expression on her face that looked both angry and guilty. 

“LILA ROSSI!” 

His hand instinctively shot into the air, camera focusing on the trio. Nino had known Rose since he was five years old, and not once in all of those years, could he ever remember her yelling, nor could he ever remember her really being angry. And definitely not this rage fueled. No one spoke as the three girls made their way towards the center of the gym, Lila and Alya both standing helplessly in the girls’ sights. Nino took notice of his friends’ phones now trained on the pack as well. 

“Rose?” Lila asked. “Is everything oka-”

“SHUT UP!” 

Nino flinched at the pink girl’s tone, several others in the crowd did as well. 

“Rose what’s wrong?” Alya quickly inserted herself between the two as Nino stood, standing on a higher stair to get a better camera angle. 

“What’s wrong?” The blonde asked. “What’s wrong?!” Rose’s hand raised into the air, for a panicked moment Nino thought his girlfriend was going to get decked in the face. But then Rose’s finger shot out from her fist, pointing accusingly at Lila. “SHE’S A LIAR!” 

With her words came a few cheers from Marinette’s crew and a handful of others in the school who had come to resent the girl. 

Nino even heard one “preach” though he couldn’t tell where it had come from. 

“Ros-” Alya was cut off. 

“Everyone!” Mylène shouted, “Take out your phones and google Damian Wayne, you know the famous kid from Gotham? I’m sure everyone knows that he’s Lila’s boyfriend, or so she’s been telling us.” Mylène shot a glare over her shoulder at the brunette. “Go to his instagram!” 

Nino didn’t want to stop recording, thankfully he could see the people’s phones in front of him. The boy’s icon was a picture of him flipping off the camera with a rainbow painted on his cheek. His bio was only four lines. 

Damian Wayne

Animal Rights Activist 

My Boyfriend and Brother are the only ones who post on here

Please don’t talk to me

Nino tried really hard not to laugh, but couldn’t help his snicker. He knew pretty much instantly that Damian was not in fact Lila’s boyfriend, and doubted them ever actually meeting. But did she seriously not do even the smallest bit of research? There is no way it would have been that hard to figure out that the boy was gay, let alone in a relationship. 

“That’s right everybody!” Mylène shouted. “Damian Wayne has a boyfriend!”

“He’s cheating on me?” Lila asked eyes wide and heartbroken, Nino would admit, it was a good idea to save face. Claim the long distance son of a playboy was a player himself. If he didn’t know better he’d probably buy it. 

“They’ve been dating for three years.” Juleka’s voice was quiet but strong, the people around her who heard it started passing it back to those behind them who didn't.

Lila opened her mouth to spit out another lie but Rose beat her to the punch. “TWO YEARS, NINE MONTHS, THREE WEEKS, AND FIVE DAYS!” Her fists were clenched at her sides again, her whole body shaking. “THEY ARE TWO MONTHS AWAY FROM CELEBRATING THEIR THREE YEAR ANNIVERSARY! AND THIS-THIS...LIAR! IS TRYING TO TEAR APART THEIR HAPPILY EVER AFTER!”

Juleka placed a hand on her girlfriend’s shoulder, trying to calm her just a little bit. 

“Lila also lied about knowing the Waynes! Damian Wayne didn’t interact with anyone outside of his family until he was eleven! And Bruce Wayne confirmed that he doesn’t know anyone with the last name Rossi, and none of his friends have a daughter named Lila!” Mylène shouted. “The three of us talked to Damian Wayne today! Adrien Agreste is modeling with him right now in America! He asked Damian about Lila and he’s never even heard of her!” 

There were mixed reactions from the crowd surrounding them. Mylène suddenly shot her phone into the air. “He sent me a video telling the whole story! If anyone wants to watch it! I will happily show it to you!”

“I can so explain this!” Lila said, stepping forward. “You see, some of Gotham’s villains have come after my famil-“

“I SAID SHUT UP!” Rose screeched. “COLIN WILKES IS A PRECIOUS BOY WHO DESERVES THE WORLD! AND YOU ARE TRYING TO TAKE HIS PERSON FROM HIM JUST FOR A LITTLE ATTENTION!” Juleka pulled Rose back a step, worried about her girlfriend getting too out of control. “GOD!” She shouted. “YOU ARE SUCH A LITTLE...LITTLE-”

“Say it Rose!” Alix shouted from the side lines, Nino swore if her the short girl’s smile got any wider her face would crack in half.

“ATTENTION WHORE!” He almost dropped his phone. The crowd, which had started to get more vocal, went silent. Alya’s jaw dropped and even Lila was left speechless and wide eyed. 

“Oh my god.” Kim’s voice carried over the noiseless room. 

Rose was left fuming. Her body was still vibrating at a speed Nino was sure couldn’t healthy. Her cheeks were puffed out, making her eyes large, the blues popping out against her now red face. 

“Lila is a liar and nobody should believe a word she says.” The girl huffed. “I am the champion of love and justice,” she squared her shoulders. “And refuse to stand idle while someone destroys the bond of two sweethearts.” Rose took a deep breath before striking a pose similar to Sailor Moon’s iconic one. “In the name of true love, Liar Rossi, I will punish you!”

Nino was not prepared for the burst of applause that erupted from the crowd. He actually howled out a cheer of his own, phone focused on the girls in the center of the mob. He moved his phone to follow Lila as she went running out of the corral of applauding teenagers. He assumed she was heading for the bathroom, probably to fake cry till someone came to comfort her. 

A long, loud, exasperated sigh fell from his lips as he watched his girlfriend chase after the Italian girl. He shook his head as he stopped the video, tapping on his messaging app and sending the video to his best bro. 

DJBubbles: Dude

DJBubbles: how did u know this was going 2 happen?

… 

Alya hesitated outside of the bathroom door. Cautiously she glanced back over her shoulder, people were still cheering she could hear them from down the hall. She wished she could be with them. But she had a mission to see through, and with everyone turning on Lila she knew it was do or die time. 

She slipped her phone into her back pocket and took in a deep breath before pushing open the door, masking her face in concern as she approached the girl hunched over one of the sinks. Lila had her face in her hands, muffled crying sounds coming from behind her fingers.

“Lila?” She asked quietly. 

“Oh god!” Lila turned away from her. “Alya it’s so awful!” She took a few steps farther away, laying her head against the wall of the restroom. “I-I just-just…” 

“Lila it’s okay…” Alya placed her hand on the girl’s shoulder. “I’m sure this is all just a misunderstanding.”

Lila sniffled, looking at the girl over her shoulder. “It’s not.” She whispered. “I lied.” She turned her head away quickly. 

“Why?” Alya asked. 

“I don’t know.” Lila whipped around, tears streaming down her face. “I-well, I just-” She sniffled loudly. “I like Adrien so much.” She started, back leaning against the wall. “But he didn’t really seem to take notice of me, so I thought if while he was gone I could get everyone talking about how I had this awesome boyfriend it’d make him, well, I don’t know.” 

“You wanted Adrien to be jealous of Damian?” Alya asked, eyebrow cocked. 

“Y-yeah.” Lila looked down. “I know it was stupid and I just should have kept my mouth shut. But I didn’t know how else to get his attention.” A few more tears streamed down her cheeks, her hands raising to rub at her eyes. “I’m so sorry I lied to you.” 

Alya sighed. “Look, I can kind of see why you did it.” She crossed her arms. “But Adrien isn’t the type to respond to jealousy. In fact, if he did like you and found out you were with someone else, then he would gracefully bow out. He wouldn’t want to come between you two.” 

Lila’s eyes stayed focused on the floor. “I guess I didn’t think about that. He really is so sweet.” She whispered. 

“And while I don’t think you should have lied about dating Damian Wayne, I definitely don’t think Rose, Juleka, and Mylène had the right to humiliate you like that. It was uncalled for.” Alya’s eyebrows nicked together. “They should have just asked to talk to you in private. Seriously, I have never seen them act so vicious.” 

“Marinette must have turned them against me.” Lila’s face suddenly hardened. “She’s out to get me Alya. You know she is. She’s taking everyone away from me!” Lila surged forward, grabbing the girl’s shoulder. “She’s going to steal you too!” 

“Marinette will never steal me from you Lila.” Alya sucked in a deep breath. “Your my best friend, and I’ve got your back no matter what!” God that left such an awful taste in her mouth. 

“Thank you Alya!” Lila pulled the girl into a tight hug. One brunette’s face turned devious while it was hidden, the other simply rolled her eyes. 

… 

Nino took his seat at his desk, unable to hide the smile on his face. He was rewatching the video on his phone. He honestly hadn’t felt this good in a while, probably not since the last time he wielded the Turtle Miraculous. It felt like everything was over, but seeing as how Lila still had Alya, and probably Sabrina, who was out sick today, he figured it wasn’t. Meaning his job as mole wasn’t done quite yet. But the few minutes he had to celebrate the Liar’s major take down with his friends was invigorating and made him feel like he was operating at one hundred percent again. 

Rose, Juleka and Mylène all came into class together, everyone already in the room standing up and cheering for them. Alya and Lila weren’t back from the bathroom yet, so Nino applauded them from his seat. 

“Ladies and Gentlemen!” Kim shouted. “The hero of the hour, champion of love and justice herself!” He jumped up on his desk, extending his hands in an overly complicated gesture in Rose’s direction. “Ms. Rose Lavillant!” 

Nino’s classmates cheered harder as Nathanael walked forward and embraced the tiny girl in a hug. “We’ve missed you sweetness.” 

“I’ve missed you all too!” Rose hugged him back as forcefully as she could. “I’m so so sorry everyone!” She pulled back from the red head, positioning herself to look at those who filled the opposite side of the classroom as Nino. “Can you ever forgive me for falling for her lies?”

“It took all of us time to see she was lying,” Max came forward, setting his hand on Rose’s shoulder. “The important thing is that you finally saw through them.” 

“Yeah, she’s pretty good at covering her ass, none of us blame you for taking so long.” Alix said, kicking her feet up on the desk.

“Do you think we could have our old seats back?” Juleka asked, voice quiet as she stepped forward and took Rose’s hand. 

Kim jumped down from his and Alix’s shared desk. He held his arms wide open, embracing the two girls. “Welcome home babe.” He said, dramatized tears in his voice. “God we’ve missed you.” 

Alix rolled her eyes. “Knock it off drama queen.” She yelled. “Seriously though,” She swung her feet around on the bench, standing up and gesturing to the seats. “It’s good to have you two back.” 

“I think you mean three.” Max said, he and Nathanael had their arms draped over Mylène’s shoulders. The girl had a small blush dusting her cheeks as she climbed the steps towards the back of the room where her boyfriend sat.

“I’m really sorry I didn’t listen to you.” She whispered, eyes downcast. “Do you think you can forgive me?” Ivan gave a soft smile, scooting down the bench so that Mylène could sit by him. The girl sat down quickly, latching onto her boyfriend’s arm with a large smile. 

“Power couple’s back,” Kim whispered. “We got all our lovely ladies on the side of truth and justice, I know have video of Rose striking her cute ass sailor moon pose. It’s like all's right with the world!” He said, sitting down at Alix’s old desk, the girl having reclaimed her seat now that everybody’s favorite girlfriends had retaken their old desk.

Everyone was happily chattering away, Marinette’s crew filling in the three girls on everything they missed when Lila and Alya walked in. 

“Not all our lovely ladies have come to their senses.” Nino mumbled, resting his cheek against his fist. As long as Alya had yet to see the light, he couldn’t in good conscience retire as Marinette’s mole. And he certainly couldn’t leave his girlfriend alone with that coyote. 

“How can you still be friends with her?” Mylène asked. “After knowing everything was lie?” 

Alya shot the girl a dirty look. “She lied about having a boyfriend, that didn’t give you the right to humiliate her in front of the whole school.” She crossed her arms tightly over her chest. “I swear, you’ve all become as bad as Marinette.” Alya took her seat behind Nino, Lila sitting where Marinette once did, large crocodile tears still streaming down her face. 

“Seriously Nino?” Juleka whispered, disbelief in her eyes.

The boy simply shook his head, turning away from the majority of his classmates. Alix flipped around on her knees, leaning close to the goth girl and whispering into her ear, she then moved on to give the small explanation to Rose. In the back of the room Ivan was quietly filling Mylène in on Nino’s situation. 

The three girls were quiet, save for Rose’s soft. “Oh.” Thankfully it wasn't loud enough for Alya or Lila to hear. 

It wasn’t long before Miss Bustier came into the classroom. She set her papers down on her desk, then turned to write something on the board before finally facing the class. Her eyes scanned the room slowly, a loud sigh escaping her lips. “Okay,” She breathed. “Let’s just begin class.” The poor woman was so tired. 

_______________________________________________________________________

(part 1)  (part 2)  (part 2.5)  (part 3)  (part 4)  (part 5)  (part 6) (part 7)  (part 8)  (part 9)  (part 10) - Here (part 11)

Not  exactly Photoshoot Part 3...I’m just trying so hard to get to this Incredibles cameo guys, I feel like I keep underestimating how long parts are going to be. I’m so sorry it’s taking so long for this character to show up. Anyway, who was prepared for Rose this time around? I love the idea of her being essentially this tank that no one sees coming till it’s far too late. Now it’s just Sabina and Alya, and Nino left on Lila’s side (or so she thinks). I also love the idea that the class has the most ridiculous pet names for one another. Not sure when part 11 will be up because we are getting very close to finals week at my college, but I’ll do my best to get something out as soon as possible! Thank you all so much for the likes, reblogs, and especially the comments! They are such huge mood boosters for me, they really change the whole course of my day and I appreciate them so much. Please let me know what you thought of this chapter! I loved writing it. As always if you have any questions about the story or AU feel free to ask, I love getting them and will happily answer any question you got (even if it’s not about this AU)! And if you want to be tagged let me know! 

@graduatedmelon @northernbluetongue​ @violatiger8​ @bamagirl513​ @vixen-uchiha​ @beaversuenightly​ @tumbling-down-hills-and-stuff​ @todaylillypads​ @laurakinneylance​ @vgirl-10123​ @wellcrud-blog-blog​ @silvergold-swirl​ @crazylittlemunchkin​ @an-ahez​ @queencommonsense​ @ladybug-182​ @meganemily231​ @driftingmoonlitpetals​ @kand-roo​ @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry​ @theatreandcomicfreak​ @paradoxal-occurance​ @miraculousl4dybug @thanks-captain-obvious​ @sassydepression​ @multishipper1needshalp @wegan97​ @surprisebishhhhhhhhh  @redscarlet95 @throneoffirebreathingbitchqueen @synnesstra @fandomkitty8 @tired-yeetling @saluteswifties @kanamexzeroyaoifangirl @dast218 @naclychilli @royalchaoticfangirl @panda3506 @nataladriana9 @shreky-boi @my-name-is-michell @dawnwave16  @thethirdwheelfriend @quiet-oracle @heaven428

[afrocentrick]

I think I figured out why we have no morals...

I'm so confused. Warning - this is just FOOD for though & a lot of rambling is about to follow:

Am I the only person that held a negative connotation to the word "cult" ? Like, for some reason the strange idea of a dude leading a pack of people into the abyss comes to mind like the scary "Joneston" incident where Jim Jones created a cult in Guyana and poisoned 900+ people. 

But earlier this week I had a really interesting conversation on how we're forced to be so invested in CULTURE. 

Lol. Your family, your church/religion/or lack there of,  your school, the building you live in, your neighborhood, the community it's in, your online community, where you work & spend time off - they're all different cults you're apart of. 

Most, are socially accepted because they correlate with the same morals and basic principles of the mass. Everyone agrees it's okay, so you're okay with being apart of it. 

The second people disagree, memberships requires commitment and only the far left people are committed. 

Someone once told me you are the 5 people you're around the most. True. They influence you a great deal, you even pick on the slang they use. Ever since then it's been my only goal to separate my mind from those of others and it starts with seeing any type of influence (good, bad, and in-between) and not letting it influence me. I've also diversified my crowd. I surround myself with all kinds of people.

I learn their ways, and I understand a part of their cult's and  cultures. Through this I'm able to be respectful and aware of the space I take up in someones living space. 

For example, I'll ask before I enter a household if I should take my shoes off, and I know when to leave. Now I hate code-switching (becoming unlike myself to cater to the needs of others).And it's a delicate balance to do so without losing myself, or insulting someone out of ignorance. 

I mean I want to be a better person w is accepting of myself, and demanding of others to respect my presence also.  I know everyone goes about their days and no one knows of my morals or beliefs, and I have no knowledge of theirs. 

So how do I find out? Youtube? No, I listen more.

I look people in their eyes, I move out of the way, I open circles, I talk to strangers, I make new friends, and I learn about the ways of people. Even though it's absolutely none of my concern. 

Someone else's morals, desires or life is literally none of my business - until they're apart of my family or "subculture". 

With those two idea's floating around in my head     - You become who you hang out with, and    - Cults are everywhere I started to think of all of the subcultures I'm apart of and the main being Guyanese - American.

How can we ever agree on moral standards when it is so diverse amongst different cultures?

Black diaspora is imminent because we have been influenced by so many culture, we don't even know how to regard African culture as our own. We talk a great deal of "coming together" as a black community. We do we even begin. Majority of us are charitable to our kind, even when we don't deserve it. We hold or back, while still defending ourselves against all and any that comes for black people. 

But we all disagree on the likes of what's right and what's wrong. All family do. So stop thinking we're the only cultures that don't have it together. We're only fail when we hide things, we're only held back when some people in this world think we're not good enough - and we hurt ourselves believing them.

[horanggae]

bonjour my dear aera! ／(=･ x ･=)＼

(don’t worry about sflr! I also take a lot of time to reply back ╥_╥.)

I loved the songs you wrote!! you picked some ballads and also catchy songs, but the way you described aurora and candlelight was so cute to me, i really loved your choice of words (yesterday I watched the color coded for aurora and that song is really something else<3, i really recommend watching it!).

oh you speak so kindly of me and my choices! thank u my deary aera <3. oh your friend is right! it is really draggy but it has a good plot and I really like to learn a lot about law systems all around the world, mmm, a summary? law school involves a group of first year law students and the murder of one of their professor’s, but at the same time nobody knows who killed him? (he was murdered on the school while doing a practice trial with students) and there’s a lot of unsolved business (that’s what hooks you from the beginning??) between students, professors, prosecutors and people involved in the law faculty. I believe the coolest thing about the series is how they apply the law and teach you about its articles! // I don’t know how to play genshin but my sister has been playing all summer! (I think video games are only for smart people like wonwoo haha).

oh I just opened the good reads link for the book you recommend me and I’m really looking forward to reading it! I think this is something that will help me to live a better life and to gain more focus on important things! I used to watched bones too when I was younger!! it’s really good!! I just added hospital playlist to my list, I’ll try to watch it this month but I must say I’m really slow when it comes to online series. You’re a hp fan!! I really enjoy that franchise! may I know what’s your Hogwarts house? Are you perhaps a Ravenclaw? / I haven’t seen good manager but I’ll search for a website to see it! and for friends, I have seen it during all my lifetime and I think I have seen all episodes without wanting too lol, oh I have that same style of watching series! It takes me a while to start / finish any series. Ah! we save some common pastimes! you seem out a of book! star gazing sounds so pretty but I don’t think I have ever done that :(

anyways! thank u for your detailed answers (I take them as recommendations too!), for next time, based on your hobbies, I would love to know:

fav painting?

if u could travel anywhere in the world, what museum would you visit?

do u dream on living abroad? if so, where and why?

based on your journaling hobby, what made u start one?

what languages do you speak? / what languages would you like to learn?

that’s all for today! hope you’re doing great and eating good meals<3

– f. (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

hello luv ❤️

yeah aurora is sooo good!! I'm gonna check out the lyrics for it later at night! Yeah I was really interested in law school and its plot; it seems really interesting having the students, professors & the investigators working together! I might start from where I left off again soon! Genshin is the only game I play tbh and ahskdkd naw doesn't require much brain work! It's just for me to pass the time! Take your time to read though as it's meant to be read at your own pace!

Bones hands down will be my all time favorite as I kinda grew up with it ( ꈍᴗꈍ) I hope you enjoy hospitals playlist as much as I did! It's okay, I've a bad habit of watching things half way too then months later, forgetting the plot and rewatching it from the beginning only to yet again stop watching (like good manager, I'm almost done but hehe) (´ . .̫ . `)

Yeah I'm a huge fan of hp! I love luna & the weasley twins the most ahdkdjfl. I'm a slytherin/slythedor mix! Hbu? Feels like you'd be a ravenclaw or hufflepuff mix! I've always wanted to do stargazing, I suddenly remembered I did once by chance at the rooftop in the city; the city lights drowned out most of the stars but it was still a nice experience!

fave painting is minghao's MY I artwork from his & gyu's art exhibition in 2018!

definitely the louvre!! I've heard and seen great things through the screen and by word of mouth from my college lecturers who have visited it before. My favourite architect, im pei, designed louvre's architecture and yes I'm biased towards it (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

I used to want to live abroad in the US (back when US are tooting their own horns and people were blindly looking up at them in awe), now, not anymore. I'm content where I am but at the same time not? I haven't thought about it tbh; the govt takes good care of the citizens here.

I've MULTIPLE journals that are incomplete, not even half way done and only one of them is filled. ㅠ ㅠ I started bc I wanted to cultivate good habits as a person but unfortunately failing countless of times. HOWEVER, I kinda succeeded now though hehe, for the past month I've been doing it pretty consistently! Weekends are usually for short and concise writing into a 3 ring journal that I'll decorate, while on a daily basis is a pocket journal that is meant for detailed thoughts!! I guess my drive for this boils down to me appreciating minghao's outlook on life and how he lives with the part and parcel of life!

I'm trilingual! English, Chinese & a dialect (if I reveal my dialect, it will be very obvious as to where my I'm from hehe) I'm better than in my dialect than my mother tongue (Chinese); i feel like I can't hold a proper basic conversation if my life depends on it ㅠ ㅠ I can listen well but not read or speak fluently imo ahskdmfl.

I felt like I rambled a lot and just regurgitating everything out (´ . .̫ . `) hope the answers weren't too naggy for you! I just have a lot to say to you <3 AND BACK TO YOU, I wanna know your answers regarding the questions you asked me! Oh yeah ps, did you attend caratland today!! (✷‿✷)

[saladbroth]

(Not) Ready To Be Found (Just Yet)

My contribution to the second day of @seungchuchuweek Clothing and fashion, selfies, holidays and festivals, Boyfriend does my make up challenge

"It all starts with a picture that Phichit posts on Instagram of his dark skinned hand intertwined with a paler one and his left foot next to another person’s right one."

Seung-Gil Lee, biology student and average person is the new boyfriend of YouTube fashion icon and blogger Phichit Chulanont. They start to present their relationship online with casual mentions and pictures and the ultimate reveal almost breaks the internet.

It all starts with a picture that Phichit posts on Instagram of his dark skinned hand intertwined with a paler one and his left foot next to another person’s right one. The caption says: Taking a walk with the boyfriend <3. His followers go crazy, his post reaches a new record of likes in the shortest amount of time and everyone is screaming in the comments. The speculation on who fashion and make-up icon Phichit+chu’s boyfriend is starts and Seung-Gil gets a bit nervous watching its popularity rise. He is hunched over his biology textbooks and stares at his phone. The app is open and he isn’t sure wether he should like the picture.

He’s sure that it wouldn’t even stand out with the hundred thousands of likes, but he wouldn’t want to risk being outet as Phichit’s boyfriend. Of course, Phichit himself wouldn’t mind, but Seung-Gil knows that he is having a hard time with the media after his video on himself being transgender. So Seung-Gil doesn’t like the picture but instead procrastinates doing his homework and watches the hysteria unfolding. He’d agreed with Phichit on uploading the photo but somehow he hadn’t expected it to blow up quite this big. He’s gnawing on his nails and knows he’ll be scolded by Phichit later on. He doesn’t care, he’s too busy being nervous and living out his social anxiety.

His phone screen changes from the post to Phichit calling. Seung-Gil picks up immediately.

“Hey babe, you okay?” is the first thing Phichit asks, his voice soft and caring. Seung-Gil feels better immediately.

“Yeah. Well, no, I’m a bit anxious at the moment but I’ll be okay,” he says. Phichit is silent for a second then speaks up again:

“Do you want me to take it down?”

“No, your fans will have thousands of screenshots anyways so it wouldn’t vanish of the internet,” Seung-Gil says and the delighted “okay” from the other side of the line makes him smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah? I have to film a new video,” Phichit says softly. “Yes. I’ll see you, have fun. I still need to study a bit,” Seung-Gil answers. “Okay, don’t overdo it, love you.” Seung-Gil can hear Phichit rustling in the background while saying goodbye. “I won’t, probably. Love you too.” he answers and ends the call.

He lets his head drop onto his textbook, and he can’t stop smiling. He’s still amazed by the fact that he is actually in a relationship with Phichit Chulanont, internationally famous Youtuber and crush of a lot of non-straight guys. Also, his boyfriend. Famous, sparkly, lovely and happy Phichit is the boyfriend of bland, unknown, grumpy and studious Seung-Gil Lee. For almost five months now, and he still can’t quite grasp the concept of it.

They had met in a coffee shop (as cliché as it sounds) and while Seung-Gil had recognized Phichit he hadn’t made a move to talk to him because of his Social Anxiety. Phichit however had found interest in him, for whichever reasons and started up a conversation which had lasted for hours. They’d agreed to see each other again and after that again and again and again and somewhere along the lines they had started falling. Once again, it had been Phichit to make the first move, nervously asking Seung-Gil out on a date which they’d had and a few weeks and dates later they’d started their relationship. The last months had been some of the best he’s had in life and both Seung-Gil and Phichit where now comfortable enough with each other that they started making their relationship public. Slightly, at last.

Of course all of their friends and family knew, but considering the fact that Phichit lived in the public eye it was important for him to keep his fans updated as well. And Seung-Gil was fine with that, even though a bit nervous about it so they had agreed on taking it slowly. They were trying to keep their dates out of the public as well, so Phichit wouldn’t be recognized and Seung-Gil wouldn’t immediately be swarmed by fans and reporters or something along the lines. They are still figuring some stuff out between themselves after all. Still, Seung-Gil thinks it’s time to slowly make it public and so he looks at the post once again before finally getting too his biology studies.

+

After having a fit for about a week, the Phichit+chu – community, wildly regarded and known as Chuchutrain  (Phichit has a weekly laughing fit because of the name) has calmed down. There had been speculations on who the boyfriend was, but they had no clue. Phichit loves it. The next step is a moment in a collaboration of Phichit and Leo from Lion de la Igaysia. They are sitting on Phichit’s couch playing truth or dare with viewer’s questions.  At the end of the video the probably most anticipated question is asked: “Phichit, can you please tell us something about your boyfriend?”  it’s read out by Leo who then grins smugly and throws himself in the mountain of cushions behind his back. “Well, Phichit, can you?” he inquires while wiggling his eyebrows. Phichit blushes a bit, then grins. “Why, of course I can, dearest,” he starts off, smile spreading wide “he is the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. And he is really intelligent and sweet, though it doesn’t seem like it when you meet him. And he has a great dog and honestly the best natural growing eyebrows ever. Oh! His voice is really nice as well and he has beautiful eyes!” Phichit starts rambling, stops himself and blushes some more. Then he laughs. “Let’s just say he is amazing,” he says and smiles sweetly before the video cuts to the end cart.

Needles to say that the internet is in hysteric fits once again. Seung-Gil is at Phichit’s flat when latter uploads the video and when he sees it, he can’t do anything but stare at it over and over again. He is lying on the floor on top of one of Phichit’s soft carpet while his boyfriend takes a shower. Seung-Gil doesn’t bother getting up or moving a lot he just replays the moment until he can hear Phichit shuffle around his room. Then he starts reading the comments which basically consist of screaming and more screaming. “What are you doing on the rug? I have other furniture that is perfectly fine, you know?” Phichit says from behind him. “It’s soft,” Seung-Gil says. There is bit more shuffling and then Phichit plops down next to him with pillows and a blanket. He is wearing a baby blue oversized jumper with his hair still wet. His eyes flit to Seung-Gil’s phone screen and a tint of red appears on his cheeks.

“So you’ve seen it?” “Yeah.” “And, what do you think? Too much?” “No. It’s… I don’t know. Very sweet- uhm. I don’t know how to deal with it actually,” Seung-Gil confesses. Phichit giggles. “You like it, then?” he asks and settles his chin on a grey-yellow striped pillow. He hasn’t got any make up on at the moment, which doesn’t affect his beauty. Seung-Gil hums in approval.

“You’re going to be overwhelmed with questions about me though. Again,” Seung-Gil says. He starts fumbling with a loose thread in the carpet. “I don’t care. I love you.” Phichit says and giggles again when Seung-Gil choke son his own spit. He’s just not used to the amount of affection yet. Phichit notices, smiles, gives Seung-Gil a short kiss on the cheek and then gets the blanket which he throws over them both. Then he launches into a story about Yuri Plisetsky throwing a hissy fit once again because his landlord hadn’t allowed him to get a sixth cat. Seung-Gil gets sleepy listening and nuzzles into his boyfriend before falling asleep. Phichit does, too and they wake up with aching backs but don’t care.

+

It’s a month after the video, that they drop the next bit. Phichit’s followers are trying hard to find out who the man dating their idol is and for once Phichit is happy that Seung-Gil hasn’t really got a big presence in the media. He would almost be impossible to find amongst his followers and since Phichit follows some of his fans regularly  it won’t be remarkable that he follows Seung-Gil.

This hint, again, is placed in a video of Phichit’s. He’s doing a haul of his new bought clothes, as per popular demand, and somewhere in the middle of it he throws a shirt behind himself onto his bed, before sitting in silence for a few seconds. “Babe?” he calls and fixes his look on somebody behind his camera. “What is it?” another male voice answers from somewhere in Pichit’s flat. It belongs to Seung-Gil of course, but none of Phichit’s fans know that. “Can you bring me some water please? I’m talking so much right now, my throat’s getting dry,” he  says dramatically. “You talk less than sometimes with your friends and don’t complain about your throat.” Seung-Gil calls back, even though the clinkering of glasses can be heard. A few seconds later a pale hand hands Phichit a glass of water. The fingernails are painted in a dark red shade and Phichit grabs the hand.

“Doesn’t he have flawless nails?” he asks the camera and Seung-Gil snorts. “Yes, because you painted them,” he says and leaves after Phichit presses a fast kiss to his knuckles. “Thank you for the water, babe.” Phichit calls and takes a sip. “You’re welcome!” Seung-Gil answers and then the video is continued without further interruption.

In Phichit’s fanbase a new stage of analysing begins, as Seung-Gil realizes a few days later while innocently scrolling through Tumblr. It’s a bit ridiculous, really how hung up people are on getting to know him. Well, at least not directly him because they don’t know the person they’re searching for is him, but still. He doesn’t understand why they need to know him, why they aren’t just content on knowing Phichit is in a happy relationship. He also sees some discourse, since some people apparently shipped Phichit with Yuuri and were upset that Phichit had somebody else in a relationship. As if the marriage of Viktor and Yuuri wasn’t something to keep them from shipping in the first place. The fans don’t have a clue though, they’re just guessing wildly into thin air without proof for anything. It’s amusing to Seung-Gil and later in the evening, when he and Phichit have dinner together they look through the theories and laugh together. Seung-Gil realizes once again how in love he is.

+

Another post on Phichit’s Instagram blows up in a few minutes once again. It’s a picture of Phichit in the snow that’s freshly fallen outside, with his back to the camera, next to him is Seung-Gil’s back, and he’s got his arm slung around the smaller one’s waist, while they lean into each other. The caption says: I still can’t believe how lucky I am to have you. It’s been seven and a half months but it feels longer. Love u <3

People scream and cry about having strokes underneath the post and Phichit cackles delightedly while reading them all. He can be cruel at times, Seung-Gil realizes then, while his boyfriend leans into him, shoulders shaking with laughter. “Why are you this happy about them being hysterical?” he asks softly. Phicht turns and smiles brightly at him. “I just think it’s funny how much the react. Don’t you think it’s a bit over the top?” he says and goes back to scrolling through the comments. “I know the Katsuki-Nikiforovs ans Yuri Plisetsky, nobody will ever be more over the top than them,” Seung-Gil deadpans. “True. Still though, they should chill a bit.” Seung-Gil hums in agreement and then ducks his face into Phichit’s hair. It’s still surprising him sometimes how much he likes the body contact between them. But he enjoys it to the fullest.

+

The big reveal, as Phichit took to calling it, is a “My boyfriend does my makeup” video. It’s posted a year after the first mention of Phichit being in a relationship, almost one and a half years after they’ve gotten together. In the meantime they were mentions of The- Chu – Boyfriend as Seung-Gil was officially titled by  Leo, in multiple other YouTuber’s videos, pictures of his eyes with makeup on had been posted on Instagram, there were shots of Seung-Gil’s body with Phichit’s new clothing line on them, without taking his face into the frame and gradually the hysteria had lessened after each post. This would change soon enough, because currently, Seung-Gil and Phichit are seated in their now shared apartment in front of a camera, with makeup on the ground before them. Phichit grins and kind of waves at the audience, dressed in a red button up with cut off sleeves and shorts. Seung-Gil has been dressed by Phichit as well and therefore he is wearing a dark green shirt with white geometrical patterns on it and black jeans. He has makeup on already, that Phichit put on him and even he admits that it looks kind of good on him.

“Heyo there, my dears! So, the long awaited reveal is here! This is my wonderful boyfriend, Seung-Gil. He will be putting makeup on me today.” Phichit says excitedly and wraps one arm around Seung-Gils shoulder. “Hi.” latter says, awkwardly and then looks at Phichit as if asking for help. The Thai grins and pecks Seung-Gil on his right temple. “While he does that we’ll try to answer some of you guys questions, I mean you’ve basically been bombarding me ever since I said that Seung-Gil and me were a thing, so I hope I’ll be able to satisfy your needs a tiny bit,” he then continues and the video cuts to him pulling up his phone and Seung-Gil putting foundation on the back of his left hand.

“Okay, so the question that was asked the most i: “Who is you mysterious boyfriend?”. That kinda reminds of the good old times when Chris just started wearing his wedding ring without any explanation and everybody was guessing who his husband might be,” Phichit reads out. Seung-Gil takes up a sponge and lightly dips it into the foundation. “Please don’t talk right now, I need to put it on you.” he says and leans towards his boyfriends face. “Well, back then I didn’t know any of you guys and I wasn’t really keeping up with the YouTube scene so I cannot say something from personal experience.” he then continues while tapping the sponge all over Phichit’s face to spread the foundation out on it. “Though it seems comparable to what happened during last year with your fans,” he directs to Phichit who hums in agreement. When Seung-Gil is satisfied with the foundation he puts away the sponge and, after giving Phichit a brief smile, picks up the concealer.  

“So, a lot of you wanted to know how we got to know each other? Well, I saw Seung-Gil in a coffee shop one morning and he looked very pretty, but also very tired and grumpy so I decided to chat him up and brighten his day a little and here we are now.” Phichit says while Seung-Gil busies himself with applying and blending the concealer in. It’s just needed beneath his eyes to cover up the bags “Also I was really attracted to his eyebrows,” Phichit adds. It earns him am muttered “furry” from Seung-Gil which leads to them both giggling stupidly. Seung-Gil continues with putting contour on Phichit’s face and blending it while latter tries to answer the question on how they realized they were in love with each other, just to be continuously shushed by his boyfriend.

“Babe, stop talking now, you’re ruining everything otherwise. Also, I can talk about it,” he proposed. “What am I ruining? I thought I was your everything?” Phichit gasps and dramatically clasps a hand over his heart. “You’re ruining my sanity.” Seung-Gil says and they stare at each other for a few seconds before breaking into giggles again. “Anyway. Phichit, please do stay still. I think I realized I’d fallen in love with him, like really in love was after we’d gotten together actually. He had just introduced me to all of his friends and we were sitting in Viktor and Yuuri’s apartment I think and I was just watching him talk. I realized it because he had spent all evening trying to make me feel comfortable and not left out and then he was leaning against me and smiled and I just knew.” he narrates and promptly blushes the moment he is done talking.

“Aw, man that’s so sweet!” Phichit coos and hugs Seung-Gil. “I realized  I was in love with him the first time he got really into telling a story about his dog and was just all  smiling and enthusiastic and his eyes were shimmering and I was hit by his beauty like it was a train and somehow I think that was the moment.” he then says and Seung-Gil blushes again. Phichit kisses him on the nose. “You can continue putting makeup on me now,” he says. “Thank you, it’s such an honour to be ordered to do so.” Seung-Gil remarks, flatly and starts looking through the makeup littered on the floor.

To be honest he doesn’t really know what he’s doing and just tries to remember what Phichit did with him all the times he put makeup on Seung-Gil. Somehow he makes it work though, kind of. The video is filled with banter and inside jokes and they answer a few questions, like how Seung-Gils studies are going (good), how comfortable they are with each other (a lot), how their characters developed in the past year (Seung-Gil loosened up and grew more confident, Phichit’s sometimes occurring self-depreciation got better, they developed a new kind of trust in each other) and their shared plans for the future (unclear). After finishing by putting a bit of highlighter on Phichit’s cheekbones Seung-Gil leans back and takes a look at his creation. It’s not as bad as he expected it to be. Sure, the eyeliner is drawn on shakily and Phichit’s eyebrows don’t look as good as they do normally and he may have used too much highlighter, but he’s happy with the result. He hands Phichit a mirror and watches his boyfriend examine himself in it. “You know, I kind of expected it to be worse. We can work with that! I’m gonna make you a makeup artist!” Phichit exclaims happily and grins at Seung-Gil with matte violet coloured lips. Seung-Gil really wants to kiss him, so he does. (Phichit cuts it out of the video in the end)

Phichit makes a surprised noise but immediately slides his hands into Seung-Gil’s hair and kisses back. They don’t really make out just kiss for a bit before pulling apart. “There goes your lipstick,” Seung-Gil says and Phichit laughs. “I don’t care, I think you did very good.”

They end the video soon afterwards, and in the evening Seung-Gil watches Phichit editing while Naree, his dog is comfortably draped over his own feet and they watch some kind of show. He doesn’t pay attention to it. It’s all focused on Phichit who looks up at him occasionally and then smiles softly.

When the video is uploaded Tumblr doesn’t work anymore for about an hour

[matsu-addict-blog]

I need to prove something to myself

(Long post)

I’ve always been of a creative mind. New ideas for stories, animals, worlds, races, and just about everything else under the sun just come naturally to me. I’m constantly doodling on my schoolwork and whipping up new designs for characters in the blink of an eye (whilst also procrastinating on the things I actually need to be doing…heh).

As a person who adores story, worldbuilding, and the application of creativity as a whole towards personal projects, lately I’ve been feeling quite alone in this sort of area.

I’m always getting myself spun in projects solo and in companionship with other people in the hopes that it can grow into something large and magnificent, even if it never actually comes to the eye of the public. This entails roleplays, story building, and just creature design in general. However I always find myself doing 99% of the actual building of the world and I get paranoid that the other person may be overwhelmed by it, they don’t have the time to absorb the information, they’re annoyed by my constant input of ideas, or they may feel that they have no place in contributing because of it. My brain operates at the speed of light but most times I worry I do too much - really, I just love worldbuilding. And after so long these projects are forgotten and abandoned. I'm worried I'm just throwing something on them that they don't actually want to do and they're just letting me have all the fun, or they're not interested in it as I am.

And I have actually had these kinds of things happen with equal input from me and the other person…for a while. Both were roleplays that got massive and then ended, for reasons of which are still unclear to me (and I’m too afraid to ask). I hesitate to relate them to this because in one instance I and the partner were more so developing our own separate things to butt heads in the story, while the other was collaborative. But these were restricted to the normal rules of that in a roleplay and had fixed storylines. It was enjoyable nonetheless and I absolutely loved them for while they lasted - however, the first slowly died away with increasing responses of “I’m busy” (and plenty of other dramas Id not get into here) and the other I asked one question and the whole thing shut down. Still too afraid to prove or ask of it much further, and it honestly hurts to think about them. I blame myself.

To make a long story short, I want to do this sort of thing again. Since these two fallouts, I’ve gotten very anxious over dumping a lot of my garbage on people and lost a lot of my previous confidence. I get paranoid about stuff that probably isn’t an actual problem. Just about everything I write and design I keep to myself. Even if I share it with others, I wouldn’t tell of it much, or if I do, it is too much. I love making stories but I rarely ever tell them.

Maybe I’m just not a social person, but I don’t really have any friends or know any people with this sort of dynamic - the ones I do know are famous and I am arguably not worth their time, what with their busy schedules and online presence. I’m obviously not wanting a carbon copy of myself. But someone who shares my interests in storybuilding is something I’ve longed to find in a friend ever since these fallouts. Someone who likes to make stories, someone who likes to collaborate on stories, someone who likes to design and create and think and just talk. Someone who doesn’t mind my constant ramblings and is equally willing to collaborate and expand on something together, say, a fictitious world or species. Someone who likes to spit that stuff out and doesn’t mind me spitting it at them. Someone who gets excited at the idea of a new character and likewise I with them. Every time I spit stuff of this manner I end up just dumping it on the other person for them to absorb and then…that’s it.

I don’t have anything wrong with people who like to listen but can’t or don’t want to contribute. I love making friends, but lately I just feel really…lonely? Isolated? I want to find somebody who can understand this. It’s been a long running desire to make a project where both of us are always doing something for it, in art or story or music or literally anything, a shared world where both of us are getting a kick out of it.

I know I’m not the only person like this. I know I’m not. I can’t be the only one in this big world, but I don’t know where to look. I’m much too awkward in real life to go in person and ask someone.

Please reblog this if you would be interested in doing something like this with me. Please. And even if you physically can’t or creativity of this nature isn’t your strong spot, reblog anyways. I need to prove to myself that I’m not the only person with this kind of gift and its really lonesome without somebody else like me in this regard. I don’t care what it is, I want to collaborate, I want to get creative and get messy and get knee-deep in this stuff with somebody. It gets really aching when I make a story I’m too scared to share with someone to.

Drop me a message, say something in the tags, I literally don’t care, I just want to find another friend. Really, really badly. (If you’ve read this far, congratulations.)

[trebaolsmovingcastle]

I read and reblogged a quote from this yesterday, and then spent the rest of the night pondering it.

The notion is simple...there’s so many competing facts that it breeds frustration and thus causes people to retreat into their passions and ignore facts.

It’s the old ‘Are eggs good or bad? Last week a report said they were good, this week they’re bad...so fuck eggs, and fuck facts.���

The end result is that if I have a shitty opinion, I can very easily go online and get that shitty opinion reinforced, rejecting any effort in looking at differing or alternate opinions. The inherent work needed to pursue truth is simply too much.

The outcome, we become more tribalist, where we retreat into our familiar groups and reject angrily outside information, driving conflict and leading to the complete downfall of civilization and ruin of mankind's work.

It’s a hip article, looks good, feels pretty good reading it. By the end you’re like...’damn, you’re right we are all gonna die because I can’t accept a Trump supporters point of view, and they can’t accept mine...fuckin...internet man.’

The problem became that the more I thought about it, the more it just seemed like he was angry at human history. When he describes tribalism he in essence is describing culture or social groups themselves. He tries to mean that you basically retreat into your ethnic group to the exclusion and hatred of all others and similar ideas, your ideology takes precedent over all facts and you reject the truth of the world.

I ask you all to take a moment and again ponder when this was never not the case in human history. I vote democrat, because the democrats are the group closest to my ideology, within that I vote for candidates who will advance my ideological viewpoint. My friends and the place I live often are made up of similar individuals. If I was alive in Georgia in 1840 I’d probably have a pretty narrow view of ethnic issues because, my world view was being informed by my passions and the environment I was in. Barring some random event or intervention by a family member or person close to me I would not doubt think chattel slavery was the best possible future for me, and pursuit of land and slaves my lifes goal.

He uses the notion that when he goes online he believes Trump’s cabinet is floundering based on news sites and people he speaks to, but when he hits up breitbart the narrative changes and the polls change too, reflecting an entirely different reality, and because of this society is being sundered. As if this were something new, some new concept that had not previously been the driving force behind politics and civilization up to this point. Returning to the South in 1840, I am confident that if I was able to read and could grab a gazette I would be apt to find vitriolic words of wisdom about the aggression and ignorance of my neighbors to the North. I would in fact be hard pressed to find a publication or person who would not reinforce that the North was all child labor and cruel factory work, while my ma and pa’s land passed down for generations was the honest to goodness paradise described within the bible.

If...if...we were suddenly becoming a new tribalized society, and this wasn’t just a continuation of our behavior and disposition, wouldn’t the left...the group I and many many people are a part of, and which is growing in size, wouldn’t this group in essence not exist. His image of tribalism is special interest groups as pillars of reality. You don’t belong to the left, you belong to white, hetero, men, 25-30, brown hair, with strong feelings about Reservoir Dogs...you see out only news that supports your very narrow world view, you only talk to other Dogheads as they’re called, you only drink Shasta, because there was a reddit joke about it and now everyone in your little internet mental tribe is obsessed with Shasta.

He basically pictures the Homestuck fandom as the grim future of society, ruined by the internet.

The reality of course is more complex than that. We have been ruled by our passions for all of history, just because it was hard to send a letter to Fat King George in parliament, doesn’t mean that we brilliantly filled all that time in between learning all the careful nuance of what reality was and how economics and the philosophy of the day crafted our worldview. No, we died of smallpox and kept slaves under the auspices of Christian charity.

He in essence is now forced to look at the bare ignorance of some people, and tear out his hair over how they got this way...when in the past, before the internet, and before the modern news cycle, he could comfortably go years with a bias and never have to think about it, be confronted by it, or even worry about changing it because it never existed to him in the first place. Just deep down he had a vague dislike of people from towns where the gas station is the tallest building. The internet age now allows him to intimately know the residents of bucolic Haberdash, Arkansas as he is forced to read their comments on the news article he was reading...causing him to frustratedly think of what rubes they are...and by extension drive him more into the arms of people he does not see as rubes.

This would all of course be terrible if, as he points out early on, there is no truth, or that truth simply doesn’t exist in the modern era. However I would argue that truth does indeed continue to exist, we continue not just to have a multitude of truths and realities, we have our competing viewpoints. What our issue is...is that the language and attitudes of our government and media bodies, is lumbering behind the times. We are unsure and mistrustful of government, because the language of government for as long as I have known it, has been disingenuous, it is recognized as double speak, there are no positions held because you try to look like you hold every possible position at once to avoid the scandal of having an opinion.

In this day and age it means that when the public, whichever side of the aisle you’re on, wants reassurance that something is being done, or that they’re hearing the truth, you get instead a rambling response that sounds as if its been read by a robot, who has laced it with nice sounding things...but when you think back on whether you got anything from it you’re left empty handed.

Meaning a blowhard, who declares everything he says true, does not speak that way, and generally acts completely off the cuff, is regarded as a ‘breath of fresh air’ in the stale tomb of the Capitol. Manson’s fear is in reality a fear of the intensity of the vastness of human behavior and experience. If you’d provided all the facts about the ills of slavery to that speculative southerner from earlier, who lived in 1840, would you perform any better than telling a Trump voter today that a Muslim ban would not protect america? No. So what’s the difference? Well now you gotta look at the people you disagree with, you’re already in your niche, you were there before you noticed you were, and changing your viewpoint hasn’t changed none, it’s just now you can’t wrap your head around how dumb some people seem and why they can’t seem to listen to reason. 

What will have to happen, what will happen, is likely a push towards candor. You’ll see politicians either lie outright if they worry about performative action, or you’ll end up with more ‘personalities’ in government, people who have convictions, right or wrong, and will speak them without being afraid of the political fallout, they’ll simply say what they think. The trick is whether the establishment will advance quality personalities, or flounder under a desire to remain true to the establishment and tradition.

But this freaked out ‘we’re fucked’ is just a guy waking up and realizing he lives in a stupid world, but not realizing that it’s always been this stupid, it’s just faster now.

[goldeagleprice]

Coin Finds: If you want it, you can find it

Based on the long-running “Coin Finds” column in Coins Magazine, which will continue to appear in print, this online version will give additional exposure to the thrill of the hunt.

Submit your own discoveries via email to David C. Harper at david.harper@fwmedia.com.

  I’ve been a collector, off and on, for probably 30 years now, starting at a pretty young age. My grandpa originally got me interested in coins, and over the years I’ve gone down different paths as far as what I collected. I’ve always made sure to check my change, though. In recent years, it has seemed much more difficult to find anything, especially the older silver coins, but yesterday while grabbing lunch in downtown Cedar Rapids, I discovered a 1948-S dime in my change! So I guess there are still finds to be had!

Mark S via email.

  I’m a long-time collector for 50-plus years, and I still buy rolls and pick up change in parking lots to keep looking for gems. I bought two rolls of cents last hunt and found one wheat cent, 1957-D, and a 1998 Wide AM variety cent in AU condition. Then I went to Walmart and found two coins in the Coinstar reject slot, a 2001 Canadian quarter and a 2009 South Korean coin about the same size. All in one week. I’ll keep looking. They are still out there. Even free ones!

Gene K. Southern Minnesota

  Here is an unusual one:

An elderly friend of mine told me he had “some old coins” from the U.S. Mint and asked if I would look at them and maybe sell them for him. I said sure, and the next day he handed me two small, heavy cardboard packages, both from the U.S. Mint in Philadelphia, one from 1961 and the other from 1962. He had been sitting on them for 57 and 56 years without opening them! I opened the 1961 package carefully, and stuffed inside were 25 Proof sets of the usual penny, nickel, dime, quarter, and half. All 25 were in sealed brown envelopes. Ditto for the 1962 carton, 25 more.

Initial selling price back in the day was $2.10, so he paid $52.50 twice to get two boxes that have been untouched for over half a century.

I checked with four Indiana dealers, and the best price I was offered is $14.50 per set, for all 50 sets. I’m a bit disappointed, as my two-year-old Blue Book says $18, but then again, $725 is not a bad return for two boxes that sat in a drawer for 57 and 56 years! Deal struck, and now my friend has a check for $725.

Steve B. Fishers, Ind.

  I’ve only been a serious coin collector for maybe one or two years now. I collect for the historic value, and investment, and just the fun of finding coins of interest or value. So to make a long story short, I called my bank looking for Kennedy halves and Eisenhower dollars. The manager at my bank told me to go to another branch, as they had a couple of Eisenhowers. Went over and, to my amazement, they handed me two rolls of uncirculated Eisenhower dollars! What a find! All were Bicentennial dollars, too! Just goes to show you, if you want it, you can find it.

Jim B. Tonawanda, N.Y.

P.S. My daughter shares the same interest in coin collecting as I do, probably because I give her doubles of what I have collected, but she has a very nice collection herself.

  I very much enjoy your magazine, especially the “Coin Finds” section. I haven’t had as much luck or success in finding hard-to-find items as some of the other readers have, but I’m still searching.

My youngest son, who has no real interest in the hobby, has brought me coins on occasions. On one such occasion, he called me from his job and asked if coins are counterfeited. I told him if there is some value to the coin, some people will try.

He proceeded to describe a quarter he had come across at work. I asked a few questions and told him to swap it out and bring it to me if he could. A few hours later, he showed it to me.

It turned out to be a 2005 Minnesota state silver proof quarter. This was a big surprise. It had been circulated for some time, by the scratches and blemishes on it, but still had some mint proof luster to it.

On another occasion, a couple of weeks later, my son brought home six Teddy Roosevelt presidential dollar coins he received at work. They were bright, new, shiny coins that looked as though they just came out of the package. I don’t know how or why these coins were in circulation, but it’s pleasing that I was able to acquire them.

Good luck and happy hunting to all.

Joe S. via email

  I’ve enjoyed “Coin Finds” in this magazine for a while. I want to write about one of the most unusual finds I’ve ever made.

One morning in August of 2017, I decided to go to the store for some items. As I walked to the Coinstar machine, I could see some coins in the reject tray. I got everything out, which included (as I somewhat remember) two dimes, three pennies, and four foreign coins.

It’s normal to find foreign coins at the Coinstar machine, as it is calibrated to reject such coins. What was unusual, however, were the dates of these examples. They include (from most recent to earliest): 1979 Australian 10 cents (the size of a U.S. quarter), 1958 Mexican 5 Contavos (I like the brown color of it), 1950 German 1 Pfennig (the smallest of the group), and 1923 Canadian 5 cents (with King George V on the obverse).

This was definitely among my oddest coin finds, but still very exciting.

James via email

  I first wrote to Coins Magazine back in December of 2016 regarding Wheat back pennies and was pleasantly surprised that my letter, and finds were printed in the August 2017 edition. Since that letter, I have a new find to share with you. I call it “The Mother of All Finds…….EVER.” Well, at least it was to me. Here’s the back story:

My eldest son is not at all a coin collector, but rather the grandson and son of coin collectors. He has listened to me for countless hours ramble on about every aspect of coins and collecting coins for as long as I can remember, much of the time with two minutes of enthusiasm (then his eyes become glossed over from information overload). Hey, I understand that. I was the same way with my Dad years ago. However, something happened to him recently that made him change his outlook on his Grandfather’s and father’s passion. You can say HE STRUCK GOLD.

My son works for a house flipper and recently came across a small metal bank tucked away in the back of an old dresser in a house they were prepping for rehab. He took it to his boss and asked what he wanted to do with it. The boss said keep it and get back to work. So, he did just that. At the end of his work day, he decided to smash open his rehab find as clearly there were coins inside. How many, what kind, and what condition remained to be seen.

He called me two weeks after his discovery to tell me the story and what he found inside. As he began to describe each coin, it soon became clear to me that, condition notwithstanding, his find was not your average, everyday piggy bank variety. In fact, it was exemplary. Here is what was inside:

• Three each Walking Liberty Half Dollars dated: 1935, 1944 and 1947 • Nine each Mercury Head Dimes dated: 1920, 1926, 1936 (two), 1939 (two), 1940, 1942 and 1945 •Four Buffalo Head Nickels dated: 1934, 1937, and two unreadable dates • Two Mexican Cinco Centavos dated: 1968 and 1969 • Nine Washington Quarters dated: 1936, 1942 (two), 1943 (two), 1944, 1949, 1954 and 1957 • Three Roosevelt Dimes dated: 1946, 1954, and 1957 • One Standing Liberty Quarter dated: unknown – worn off • Six Jefferson Nickels dated: 1940, 1944 (two), 1947, 1948 and 1949 • One Canadian Penny dated: 1981 • Twenty Lincoln Head Pennies dated: 1959, 1962, 1964 (two), 1965, 1966, 1967, 1968 (four), 1969 (two), 1970 (two), 1971, 1980, 1983, 1984 and 1990 • Thirty-six Wheat Back Pennies dated: 1910, 1920, 1928, 1930, 1935, 1937, 1939 (three), 1940, 1941, 1942 (three), 1943, 1944 (four), 1945 (three), 1946 (two), 1947 (three), 1949, 1950 (two), 1951, 1952, 1953 (two), 1955 and 1957

And last but not least, the gem of the bunch: one Gold Liberty Head $5 piece dated: 1882

Few of these coins, all which were gifted to me by my son, have any higher grade than an EF, and most not even that. But the 1882 Gold Liberty Head has the highest grade of them all, with an estimate of AU-56-MS-61, in my humble opinion.

So is there a moral to this story? I’d say so. Involve your kids or grandkids at an early age by planting the seeds of knowledge and appreciation for the things you love most. Their eyes may soon gloss over, but I assure you, your passion means more to them than even THEY realize.

Happy hunting, everyone!

M.D. Elgin, Illinois

  Editor’s Note: Upon reading a recent blog post by my colleague and Numismatic News and World Coin News Editor Dave Harper, I thought it was a perfect fit for this space and a story many of you would enjoy.

I am eating too many lunches at McDonald’s these days.

I have become addicted to speed eating since we moved our office from Iola, Wis., to Stevens Point.

The franchise is handy. It is fast.

I get back to the office so I can work during the remaining portion of lunch hour.

How long I can keep this up is a good question, but it has been going long enough that I can now claim a circulation find in change.

Recently, I ordered three cheeseburgers off the Dollar Menu.

The bill came to $3.17.

I tendered a $20 bill.

The change came back in the form of three $5s and a $1 bill.

The 83 cents was made up of two quarters, three dimes and three cents.

I knew I had something as soon as I looked in my palm.

There was the unmistakable look of silver to one of the dimes.

My rational brain immediately kicked in.

“It can’t be. You haven’t gotten a silver dime in years.”

But it was silver. The unmistakable white color was obscured a bit by some light dirt or dried grease.

The dime will win no prizes for beauty or top grade, but the date is 1963.

Flipping it over, the mintmark to the left of the base of the torch was “D” for Denver.

Beyond the satisfaction of getting a silver coin was a sense of nostalgia for having to flip the coin over to see a mintmark on the reverse.

It is kind of fun to be successful in circulation finds mode.

I will report on the rest of the coins.

The other two dimes were 2006-P and 2008-P.

The three cents are a 1977-D, 1983-D and a 2013-D, reflecting the dominance of Denver coins here.

Two quarters are a very worn 1973-D and a 2014-P Arches America the Beautiful quarter.

Now I can hold my head up among the readers of Numismatic News who continue to scan their change and search bank rolls.

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[writingwithinwriting]

Honest, soft spoken knicker-untwisting: I should probably say something about this whole Hollie McNish debacle, because I can.

(Hollie McNish, disagreeing with me.)

I have always maintained that some of the best insights you can hear in any field often comes from the person two-weeks into their endeavours rather than a person who has been doing it twenty years. 

This is also horrible, horrible advice and there is a reason I run a blog and not a full-blown literary journal. But then again, I have only been doing this for a year... Thus, I present to you my nicest hat I have to be trampled in the ring: here’s what I have to say about this whole PN Review debate...

If you have our ear to the ground on the poetry scene, someone said something not at all positive towards the current state of spoken word poetry. The piece is loudly proclaiming how it feels and I am not going to say what they are saying is totally invalid, I know I am a humble peasant in all of this. It is well worth a read. You can read Hollie McNish’s response here and, what I think is the most succinct defence out there, Melanie Branton’s well-written retort here. This isn’t a reply, it is a report from how things look from my point of view.

I hope not to prove that spoken word at large is indeed academic, or needs to be more technical or artful, or that the what reaches people fore-mostly is necessarily the best of what is out there. I think everything is fine, knickers simply need to be untwisted in this situation. Instead, I put forward that there is a reason that people are being reached by the poetry of this ilk, and it isn’t because we’re all beginning to drag our poetic knuckles as we frollick in delirious circles over the plug-hole of impending illiteracy blinded by our own conveniences.

I could use words like spiteful or vicious about the review, but I think the review knows that it is spiteful, and it is happy with its life choices. Watts doesn’t jive with spoken word as a genre and has mistakenly decided to attack it as a whole. 

“What good is a flourishing poetry market... less appreciative of nuance, less able to engage with ideas, more indignant about the things that annoy us, and more resentful of others who appear to be different from us?” 

I could write an entire piece around this statement which seems to misunderstand the fundamentals of the contemporary spoken word altogether but other poets have said it better and will continue to say it better than I can. But I will instead focus on what Watts missed.

She doesn’t deserve to be attacked for expressing her frustration and opinion in a genre that can often be an echo chamber of ideas. I welcome her voice as an outsider to spoken word. I read some of her work and it’s perceptive and has a lot of effort put into it, her voice deserves to be heard, she makes many good points but draws few good conclusions in my opinion.

I can’t even say I am neck-breathingly familiar with the work of Rupi Kaur or Hollie McNish or even Kate Tempest, of whom I consider myself a fan, who are all dragged into this piece. I decided to catch up on the work of Kaur and McNish for the sakes of this post, discovering I rather liked what I read and listened to. I won’t distract from my point by going out of my way to expand on my feelings. What I can say is that I am very familiar with the criticisms at hand here.

Mostly because Lindsay Ellis beat me to the punch with what was going to be one of my main points...

This came out after I had finished my first draft of this bloody blog post and I had to redo it all over again. I was going to talk about my unquestioning love of Jupiter Ascending and everything.

Ellis says it better than I ever could: this isn’t anything new, people just don’t like women. Even women don’t like women-y things. Our presence does not imply success. I’m not a woman myself, but I am easily mistaken for one all the time so I understand the resentment people have for when a medium is invaded by the feminine youth of today. People love to shake their fists at teenage girls; harbingers of degeneration in everything they touch with their grubby, right-swipey, manicured fingers.

Thankfully, I can ramble on more than just that aspect of why I think the review isn’t anything to be worried about. This isn’t a totally gendered issue, there are many facets to this and from what I can see it is a generational issue in many regards. Watts isn’t exactly middle-aged, but I know plenty of people who could be safely counted as millennials who dislike the technology that defines us as a generation and the possibilities that come with it. 

Social media allows us to show too much our lives to other people, it ruins the magic. Social media lets us show the best bits of our lives, its all false. Social media lets everyone have a platform regardless of quality, everyone has a blog these days. etc etc. Which brings me back to the review: Watts makes a few logical leaps in the piece which seemingly amount to ‘this ideal of honesty before technique has come to the forefront of these popular pieces of work no one can take them seriously anymore and they are the knell of the populist take over.’

I don’t want to attack Watts when I say perhaps she believes there is a throng of seraphic artistic thinkers whose opinions are the only ones we should care about thereby making her statement non-contradictory. Maybe in a few years time I will no longer be a sparkly-eyed amateur and agree. For now, I personally think that spoken word heading into the mainstream is a sign that it is being taken more seriously, not less. As well as a sign that more people are engaging rather than mindlessly teething over it. 

I think Watts has inadvertently proven that things are going rather well for spoken word; the piece brought up a defence hot on its heels and sparked rich debate, and must have been relevant enough to publish in the first place. Which is why I’m not angry, its why I don’t think McNish is all that bothered in her response. The review misunderstands how people take part in poetry these days. You can’t maintain that “the reader is dead” and also say the consumer has taken over; readers are consumers. 

People read and listen to Kaur’s work, they make hundreds of choices a day, they listen to Elliott Smith on their turntables whilst they eat toast with almond butter, or play Drake on repeat on their iPhones on the way to work as they shove a meal deal into their face. They might own tote bags, they might own tote bags and constantly forget to use them. They may or may not use groupons or own houseplants. You can’t just call the people consumers when things don’t go your way.

These are people, teenage girls on Instagram are people, many of whom care about things like caesuras and others who just feel resonant with the work of people they find in their every day lives. Maybe they are both.

I’m sorry not everyone knows where their local independent bookseller is and regularly listens to BBC radio shows on the latest publications but I don’t believe correlation is causation. Kaur and her colleagues across the social media spectrum are not discouraging engagement beyond their own works.

The internet just happens to be where young people live and I mean that literally. Online is where our friends are, where we watch our favourite vloggers, where we listen to our podcasts about shrimp and not, say, something useful. We aren’t always doing something ethical and studious, I’m afraid, and neither are you. I think poetry should embrace being a part of people’s lives when they aren’t wanting to feel smart.

Something I’d like to propose, however, is that you can listen to podcasts concerning jokes about shrimp that and know where your independent bookseller is in your city. The internet is another home, so I am going to allow myself to appreciate the poetry I find closest to home. 

I don’t know what to suggest about poetry outside the internet and spoken word, it is where I choose to engage with it, as a reader and consumer, thus I cannot say let it wither away and die nor can I list ways to engage us further in strictly paper publications. This is a false dichotomy.

I think it is pithy for anyone to complain when you don’t think a surge in interest in your passion is being done properly. I think it is ludicrous to say that short, clipped insta-poetry is akin to Orwellian Newspeak and “celebrating amateurism and ignorance...” All in all, it’s a bit mean-spirited and not all opening the floor to the people the attack is aimed at.

And the targets are not just McNish, although it was addressed personally in some regards, they are the people who brought McNish and others to prominence. Which brings us back to the Millenials and our self-created habitat of knee-jerk reactions, instant gratification and social media platforms that singlehandedly allowed Donald Trump to happen. We, the club-footed careless Godzillas crushing the old without thought, to make way for our new world order.

T.R. Darling’s work is a good example of something beautiful and lichenous that would not survive in its entirety outside of the ecosystem to which it has adapted. I wouldn’t call one screenshot of T.R. Darling’s work on Twitter a whole representation of what they do, I highly recommend scrolling through the muttering cavernous archives of Quiet Pine Trees yourself.

But in an interview on Wordpress Darling brought up something that I thought applied very well to the situation at hand, as a fellow peddler of literary internet snippets they had something to say on the nature of their work:

“Being brief isn’t enough. You can boil down a story to a sentence or two, but often you need context.“

It’s almost as if there’s a skill to this. Much like a haiku isn’t just about syllables but grounding in place and time, one of the online microfiction’s essential tools is the fact it is cut off by Twitter character count. Even Darling will admit their failures often curtail to not following through with the setting they’ve placed their work in. 

McNish is more than honesty. They are more than just an outpouring of what they feel, and if Watts can’t see that then it shows they are not seeing past the vehicles that have brought the work to a book’s pages. Rupi Kaur is more than soft-spoken delicately typed Instagram posts. Kate Tempest is more than blasting the tories on youtube. They are more than just what we perceive their draw to be, they are more than their audience, and the audience is more than that.

As I was watching McNish’s piece ‘Embarrassed’ and searching for devices to make some sort of argument against a professional poetry reviewer that her work is just as well crafted as anybody else, left me realising that what cannot translate to the page are the breaths held and spaces left open for thought and reply. As well as the fact my scrutiny was a fool’s endeavour.

Maybe McNish doesn’t want to do a finely tweaked disembodied personification of her feelings on breastfeeding in public because she wants people to reply and that would impede the voice she has created. I have absolutely no doubt that someone who shows as much intelligence and depth in their observations and work could do something adequately complicated to please us.

In my head, as I listened to Embarrassed and other poems, I felt myself start conversations in the pauses she left. Not just mmmms and yeahhhs, but actual interjections directed at the poet. And this is part of the medium, in finger clicks, in retweets and reblogs, there must be room to reply.

And it is not just about accessibility or the fact it says something you can tutt about my generation’s need to butt in with their opinions at all hours of the day. I think this could be what people are finding nuance in, I think there is an art to this. It isn’t just the legion drawling consumers with their apps and scant free time, but the people who buy poetry books and go to open mic nights. 

This is why people care. And I believe that is the goal in all of this, not in how many gold stars we get in using devices for devices sakes (or for the sakes of halting the rise of fascism, as the article implicates as the social media generations fault... somehow...) but communication and engagement.

I think the aforementioned authors have hit upon this better than almost anyone before them, and whilst I might be a scraggly infant on the scene, I do believe I care. And that is why I decided to write this, not because I necessarily had the most nuanced, experienced contribution but because I could.