#please don’t fight with my top 5 they’re not perfect i know

[musings-of-a-rose]

I Don't Want to See Tomorrow (Unless I See It With You) - Chapter 5

Pairing: Benny Miller x wife!reader nicknamed “Juni”

Word Count: 3000+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: HUGE shoutout to @laurfilijames for listening to me babble about this fic. I hope you enjoy your husband Will! This is not beta’d - we yeet and post.

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

→Tell Tumblr this should be shared with others by reblogging! That's what the algorithm loves (it's how it works here. I don't make the rules!)

**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Benny Miller Masterlist

I Don’t Want to See Tomorrow (Unless I See It With You) series masterlist

Sunlight streams through the cracks in the wooden boards on the wall, casting light on my face. I yawn, stretching when my hand bumps against something. No, someone. In my bed. Before I can react, the body beside me shifts, rolling to face me so the light hits his face.

Benny. So it wasn’t a dream.

I reach out, gently tracing my finger across his cheek. He’s always been so beautiful. A hand shoots out, gripping my wrist as he rolls on top of me, pinning my arms to the sides of my head. His bright blue eyes roam over my face before leaning down to press his lips gently to mine.

“This is still real?” He whispers. 

I nod. “Real.”

After spending some time between my thighs to make sure I was really real, we managed to get dressed and head into the kitchen area. We crack open a box of Sugar Bombs cereal and grab some leftover Brahmin jerky, sipping on our purified water as we idly chat. 

“Did…did anyone else..” I hesitantly ask.

Benny nods, swallowing a bite of jerky. “Yeah! Frankie and Santi joined the Brotherhood. They don’t always agree with what they stand for, but Frankie has a ton of knowledge about the vertibirds. Plus it gets him flying. And you know Santi can’t ever sit still.”

I chuckle, remembering how Santi would flit from place to place, even on leave. Usually from bed to bed too. “What about Will and Tom?”

Benny takes another sip of water. “Tom owns the bar in Diamond City. Will is living there too with his wife.”

My jaw drops. “Wife?? Why didn’t you tell me this first? What’s her name?”

“Lauren. Nice, but keeps him in line too. Honestly, they’re perfect for each other.”

“Was she in a vault too?”

Benny shakes his head. “No. She was living on a farm that got overtaken by Raiders. She just managed to escape. Will found her half dead but full of fight. They hit it off right away and not just because he had clean water.”

“Well I’m glad he found someone.” 

“Yeah me too. He was getting annoying.”

I remember something I’d seen him do the day before. “Hey, I wanted to ask you something.”

“Shoot.”

“Yesterday, when I came home and you were just magically there. How did you just disappear? In the darkness?”

Benny takes his time finishing his bite of food, washing it down with the last of his water. “A couple years after I woke up, I heard about another group trying to establish themselves here. The Enclave. I’d had the thought about being a merc so I figured out where they were as they were a science-y type group. They were able to, uh, mod me out. Make it so I can see in the dark, I can jump a little higher than normal, take some more damage and rads (radiation) than others. I also have better aim.”

My jaw drops. “How?”

He rubs the back of his neck, not quite meeting my eyes and it makes me nervous. “I uh…it’s an implant of sorts.”

“YOU LET THEM CUT INTO YOU??”

He finally looks at me but to my surprise, his eyes are sad. “You were gone. I figured I had nothing to lose.”

I cup his face and turn him to me. “Oh Benny.” I give him a soft kiss. “I’m so sorry.”

“ ‘s not your fault….anyway, they implanted me, asked me to do some tests and runs. Then one day they got into it with the Brotherhood or some other vault dweller. They were just gone. But the mods still work so..” he shrugs, then turns his head, pointing to a line behind his ear. “This is where they went.”

I trace the scar with my finger. “Did it hurt?”

He lets out a hard scoff. “Like a mother fucker. But they’ve kept me alive more than once.”

I turn his face back to me. “Well now I’m back, please don’t let anyone else cut open your skull to put shit in it, ok?”

He smiles at me. “Deal.” 

He closes the distance between us, pressing his lips to mine, his large hand cupping the back of my head to hold me closer. I moan into him, my fingers twisting in his shirt as he lays me back, pressing me into the couch. I wrap my legs around him, gasping when he pushes himself against me..but then the sound of a gun cocking into place makes us both freeze.

“What the fuck is going on?”

I glance up into the eyes of Preston, who has his gun aimed directly at Benny. 

“Preston-”

“Get off of her! You don’t get to come in here and take-”

“Preston! It’s Benny.”

“-take whatever what??” Preston’s mouth falls open in disbelief. “Benny is the Nightshade?!”

“Apparently so.”

Preston continues to stare, not moving his gun. Benny clears his throat. “I’d uh, shake your hand but you’re sort of aiming at me.”

“I’m not sure I shouldn’t shoot.”

I sigh. “Don’t, Preston. Because if you shoot him, I’ll have to shoot you and I really don’t want to clean up all that blood.”

His eyes shift from Benny’s to mine. “You vouch for him?”

“Of course.”

After a few moments, Preston lowers his gun but doesn’t holster it, his eyes never leaving Benny. “I think I need an explanation.”

Benny looks to me for confirmation and I nod. “Like I told you, Preston’s a good guy. He’s trying to do good with the Minutemen. I think he deserves to know the truth.”

Benny nods, trusting in me fully. He shifts his attention to Preston and tells him everything, ending with meeting me at Red Rocket.

“Well I’ll be. I never would’ve considered that the Nightshade was your Benny.”

“Who would have?”

Preston turns back to Benny. “I didn’t realize all of what you are doing for the Commonwealth. Many people have their lives because of you doing the work you do. I’m sorry that you don’t get the recognition you deserve.”

Benny shrugs. “Probably best I don’t. I have a feeling the Raiders wouldn’t work with me if they knew the full extent of everything.”

“Do you mind if I tell my people? A condensed version.”

Benny nods. “Maybe leave out the part about the mods? I keep that pretty quiet.”

“Agreed.” Preston stands and holds his hand out to Benny. He takes it and they shake. “Why don’t you come meet the family, officially?”

They were weary of Benny at first and I can’t blame them. His reputation as the Nightshade preceded him and it’s a big one. The only person who didn’t seem phased was Mama Murphy, who simply gave him a knowing smile, glancing between us. Like she knew exactly who he was the entire time. 

As the weeks went by, and Benny helped everyone out from the gardening to helping refortify not only our defenses but our homes too, people started to warm up to him. Group meal times were no longer silent and tense, people starting to chat and even sing once Benny presented his makeshift guitar he’d been secretly making. A couple months after we were reunited, he comes home after helping a new family of settlers fix the last spot on their roof. I give him a kiss and motion towards the counter where I had set a bowl of corn soup for him. 

“Thanks, Juni. That new family is all settled. Their little girl is so cute. She was following me around and asking me all kinds of questions.”

“She is adorable. She came over to play with Dogmeat yesterday. He ate that shit up.”

Benny laughs as he takes a slurp of his soup. “I bet he did. But I was thinking…I think I need to make a trip back to Diamond City. I gotta see Will. Let him know about, well. You.”

I nod. “I’m going with you.”

“You’d be ok with leaving for a bit? It’ll be dangerous.”

I scoff. “It’s the Commonwealth, Benny. Everything is dangerous.”

“Fair point.”

We leave for Diamond City a couple of days later just before the sun comes up. I command Dogmeat to stay behind, as much as it kills me. It’ll be better for him and the new little girl just adores him. Still, I’m going to miss the hell out of him.

It takes us longer than it normally would for us to get to Diamond City, which they built inside Fenway Park. Pretty cool idea if you ask me. But with all of the debris and general rubble from not only the bombs but the past 200 years, we have to take a longer route. Fortunately for me, Benny is familiar with the nearly hidden paths through the city. We only encounter a random pack of feral ghouls, which Benny spots from a distance and takes them all out before they even know we’re around. 

We turn a corner and I nearly collide with a man dressed in umpire gear, a rifle held in his hands. Benny waves and calls the man by name and they chat for a few minutes. Apparently, Diamond City has enough people to put out patrols a few miles from the city. It helps to keep out things and people that they don’t want infiltrating their protected city.

We make it easily through their security, Benny having his reputation seems to open doors a little bit quicker than the rest of us. Once the heavy doors slide closed behind us, Benny takes my hand and we walk forward, looking down on what was once Fenway Park and my jaw drops.

I’d heard the Minutemen talk about Diamond City, but nothing could’ve prepared me for what I’m seeing. The dirt is still there, buried under sidewalks made from old pallets and wood slabs. All around in what I’m sure is an actual street-like layout, are buildings of different sizes and shapes, all made from some sort of sheet metal slabs or old cars, some are even old buses! The middle of Fenway, or the middle of town, is what looks like a giant smoke stack, people below it sitting at counters and eating whatever is on the menu for the day. It seems to stretch on and all I can do is stare.

“Told you it was pretty impressive,” Benny whispers in my ear, squeezing my hand gently. “Come on. Will and Lauren live higher up.”

We take a few sets of stairs, some there from before the bombs and some makeshift more recently, to what would’ve been the fancy seat boxes back in its hayday. Benny explains that some of the box's walls were knocked down to make them bigger and people could live in them - if you had enough caps (money) for it. Will is head of security here so he definitely has the pull. We stop outside one of them and Benny knocks, waiting for a moment before the door flies open and Will’s smiling face greets us.

“Hey Be- JUNI??”

Will stares at me like he doesn’t believe his eyes. I smile and give him a small wave. “It’s me.”

“What the fuck?” Will grips my wrist and yanks me to him, nearly suffocating me in his embrace. Will had been the brother I never had and it wasn’t until this exact moment that I realized how much I missed him. I squeeze him a bit harder and he kisses the side of my head before pulling back to look at me.

“Where the fuck have you been? How-”

“Can we talk inside, man?” Benny asks.

Will shakes his head. “Right. Yeah, of course. Come on in.” Will doesn’t let go of my wrist, pulling me inside and closing the door behind Benny, sliding a very heavy lock into place. Benny pulls off his long coat and hangs it up on a hook near the door. Will looks down at me, disbelief still etched in his features. 

“Are you hungry?”

“Yeah. But I don’t want to put you out.” 

He gives me The Look. “You just came back from the dead. The least I can do is give you some soup. Right this way.” 

We head through another door and through a living area into a small kitchen. At the stove is a woman with chocolate brown hair and freckles on the exposed skin on her arms. She turns to face us, smiling at Will, her green eyes flitting between all of us, a slight pull between her brows as she takes me in.

“Hey darlin’.” Will walks up to her and gives her a quick kiss, releasing my hand for the first time. 

“Hey baby. Who is this?”

“Lauren, this is Juni. Juni, my wife Lauren.”

Her eyes go wide as she looks from Benny to me. “Juni? As in your Juni?”

Benny’s smile is wide. “Yup!”

She drops the spoon she was holding on the counter, clapping her hands together. “This is wonderful! But how? Why?” Will nods in agreement with her. 

“Ladle us some of that soup and we’ll tell you,” Benny nods towards the pot behind Lauren and I elbow him in his side.

“You don’t have to be so rude.”

Bowls of soup in hand, we sit around a small table in various chairs, Benny and I taking a few sips of soup before starting in. We tell them everything, what happened on the day the bombs fell, all the way up to us walking into Diamond City. 

“Sounds like you were lucky to have met when you did,” Will says, putting his bowl in the sink. “You been to see Tom?”

Benny shakes his head. “We came here first.”

“Well I think a celebratory drink is in order! Let’s go to Tom’s bar,” Lauren suggests. She turns to me as we pull on our boots. “They also have non alcoholic drinks if that’s more your style.”

“I’m sure I’ll find something. Thanks.”

Tom’s bar is loud with people, crowding around small tables and huddled at the bar. A jukebox sits in the corner, quietly playing tunes from before the bombs fell. The crowd parts and I can just make out Tom behind the bar, barking orders at what I’m presuming is a regular customer, who is now several sheets to the wind (drunk). He spots Benny first and points at him, beckoning him closer. It’s only when we’re right in front of him does he see me, his eyes going wide.

“Juni? I thought you were dead!”

“Likewise!”

“I’ll want the story later- sit DOWN Jeff!” Tom glares at a customer who was about to stand on the bar. “Come to the back for a sec, Benny?” He nods and follows Tom, taking my hand and pulling me along into a back room. When the door closes, the volume lowers by at least half. Tom looks at me and Benny nods.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, Ben. I’m happy to see you, and especially happy to see you, Juni. But what the fuck are you doing Ben?”

Benny’s eyebrows pull together. “What do you mean?”

Tom crosses his arms. “You stopped doing your runs.”

Benny shifts his weight. “Yeah. I mean I found Juni. I figured they’d assume I’d died-”

Tom holds up a hand. “Well they didn’t. Rumor has it the different Raider factions are teaming up to try and find you.”

“Fuck. You think it’s true?”

Tom nods his head to the side. “My sources have never lied before. What are you doing, Ben?”

Benny sighs, rubbing his hand over his face. “I’m done, Tom. I can’t do this anymore. I was strugglin’ before Juni but now? I’m not gonna leave her to go traipsing around the Commonwealth.”

“Did you think it would be that easy?”

Benny shrugs. “Yeah, actually. They knew I’d probably die eventually.”

“I think you’re gonna need to talk to them, Ben. Tell them you’ll do one last run, a big one, and then you’re out. Tell them you’re injured or whatever. But you have to do something before it gets bad.”

Benny nods again. “You’re right. I’ll think of somethin’. Thanks Tom.”

Tom nods at him but then shocks me as he pulls me in for a hug. “Now you I really missed. Give me the cliff notes version?”

We end up staying in Diamond City for a few weeks, Benny renting a room above Tom’s bar for us to stay in. Both Tom and Will offered to let us crash with them, but Benny didn’t want to impose, especially when he didn’t know when we’d be going back to Sanctuary Hills. I liked Diamond City, I did. There was a barber and many shops, an eatery and a place to get your weapons or armor inspected and repaired. There was even a garden and a mini stage where the kids from the school would put on plays. A school! But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss the peace that comes with Sanctuary Hills. Plus, I miss my dog.

Benny was with Will tonight, helping him with patrol while they discussed what Benny could do to get the Raiders off his back. They were pretty close to a solid plan. I wave bye to Lauren as I leave their home, heading back downstairs and winding my way through the streets back towards Tom’s bar. 

Something smacks against the back of my head, the last thing I see is the logo from Tom’s, glowing neon bright as my vision fades to black just before I hit the ground, a voice saying “And they said Raiders can’t be sneaky!”

General Taglist:

@frankie-catfish-morales @chaoticgeminate @janebby @astoryisaloveaffair @balekanemohafe @greeneyedblondie44 @hoeforthefictional @marvelousmermaid @hauntedmama @icanbeyourjedi @wretchedmo @sunnshineeexoxo @livingmydreams13 @adventures-of-a-noodle @sara-alonso @theewokingdead @punkerthanpascal @giggly-otter @f0rever15elf @phandoz @gallowsjoker @lovesbiggerthanpride @booksarekindaneat @charlispersonallyhell @xoxabs88xox @amneris21 @gooddaykate @avengers-fixation @paintballkid711 @harriedandharassed   @ladykatakuri @practicalghost @withakindheartx @batdarkladyvampir @justanotherkpopstanlol   @mermaidxatxheart @alexxavicry @justreblogginfics @kmc1989 @veryprairieberry @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @heartpascalispunk  

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 25

chapter 43:

1. “There wasn't an outcry of excitement and delight for what's to come. Instead, the crowd was fucking furious . People were sobbing; people were yelling in protest; people were looking at Victors that were supposed to be safe and raging that they no longer were.”

good. make people finally realize that the games are not okay. make the hallow angry

2. “and now Regulus knows what Remus sounds like when he weeps. It's heart-rending.”

3. 😭😭 most of the tributes/victors not using the fighting space is so real. they’re all just done. they’re not even gonna train. they’ve done this all before and came out for either the better or the worse

4. this is heartbreaking. sirius is going into the arena and thinks he’s saying goodbye to james forever, the same way it was last games, except with james going in. i can’t do this.

(i would like to interject and say i am not criticizing this fic in any way. i am not upset with the author in any way. i’m just dramatic and expressing emotions. whatever direction zar takes with this fic is his choice and we should not be angry at him)

5. why is it always “i love you” and never “”I'm as temperamental as the ocean, and just the same, I'm at your mercy. Give me a ship, and I will wreck it at your command."” -sirius

6. i love how sirius has a safe space to try things with remus

7. 🩷🩷🩷 i love playful wolfstar (sirius telling remus he can do the thing where he can climb a person and wrap his thighs around their head)

8. “Asher, in contrast, poisoned a water supply and killed everyone off that way; her games lasted two days, and she came out entirely unscathed.” holy shit. quick and efficient. i don’t know if that’s better or worse for her sanity

9. 😧 i had no idea that sirius had the highest kill count period. the next person with a high kill count only has NINE people. sirius killed TWELVE holy shit. no wonder he’s so confident

10. “The Hallows love all the members from the Black family. We're their favorites. The most entertaining," Sirius explains, wrinkling his nose. "It's because we're all fucking mental. Makes for a good show. They love the drama, no doubt, and there's no family more dramatic than ours."”

sirius is so real for that. it’s good to know that they’re still insane in this universe and famous for being so.

11. “He shuts the door gently, locks it, and goes to start a bath. At least there, when he cries, he can lie to himself about why.”

real tears coming out of my eyes rn

12. DORCAS FREAKING MEADOWS YALL <3333333333 she’s gonna break into the arena and i love her

13. lily activating flight mode when dorcas said she loved her 😭😭😭

chapter 44:

1. “-brief depiction of violence (you'll probably like it, bc it's james” -authors note 😭😭😭

2. james fucking knocking lucius over with his cane is top tier

3. “”Frankly, you look like you got into a fight with a vacuum and are ridiculously pleased about it.””

4. “"James assaulted Lucius!" Pandora hisses. "Smacked him in the face with his cane."

"Oh, nice," Sirius says reflexively, then shrinks back when Pandora turns a withering glare on him. He coughs. "Sorry, no, I mean—oh no, James, how could you?"” BWAHAHHAHHA

5. “”After I stabbed you with a fork, I'm still the favorite?"

Bellatrix chuckles. "Oh, bygones and all that. Honestly, you could actually kill me, and I'd still like you better than Sirius. He's such an ungrateful, mouthy little shit. Besides, you were protecting your boyfriend. Sweet of you, really. It's cute."”

oh. she’s insane

6. oh. oh no. oh no. regulus is going to become a death eater. i- dnakjdksjsjsjsksk AHHHHHH NO

7. “”I hate you so fucking much," James chokes out, because that's the only explanation, that's all this can be. The words barely spill out of his mouth before he's catching Regulus' face in his hands and kissing him desperately, furiously, pathetically.”

WOOHOO! i honestly half saw it coming. perfection 😙💋 chefs kiss

8. 😭😭 james rips reg’s shirt off so hard that a button flies off

9. “All he says is, "Well? Don't you recognize a parting gift when you see one?"” 😧 my jaw is on the fucking floor. holy fucking shit. holy fucking shit holy fucking shit oh my god oh my god that’s an INSANE thing to say

10. “James had explained, flatly, that they had ill-advised hate-sex” real

11. i love the regulus/katniss parallels that are always made in the evaluations. i especially like the “hallow is hollow” note he left in the rugs

12. 👁️👄👁️ sirius my boy, what are you doing? HES UNBUTTONING HIS SHIRT AS A SHOW OF DEFIANCE. holy shit

13. “Look at me, Sirius thinks. Look at me and see who I belong to. Not you. Never you. I belong to me, and I've given myself to him, and there's nothing you can do about it.”

good for him

14. “When the evaluation scores come out, Sirius gets the lowest out of everyone, the lowest possible score to get, a score that no other tribute in history has ever gotten before him, and when he sees it, amongst everyone else's dismay, he laughs.” LMAO GOOD FOR HIM

15. “Sirius got the lowest ever in history.” LMAOOO STILL LOSING MY MIND

16. “The parting gifts are not great, as it turns out. They hurt quite a bit, emotionally speaking. Regulus is greedy for more anyway.” 😙✌️ regulus can’t stand to receive the cards he dealt

17. 😐 reg really did join the death eaters. i. hm.

18. “"You know, every Black who has gone into the arena always made it back out. This will be the first time that doesn't happen.”” oh shit. that’s wild. they really are a force to be reckoned with

[zzombiecleo]

what love could get this vicious?

i'm only like 2 hours late technically? whoopsie daisy! here's day 4 of yuri week! obligatory @mcyt-yuri-week, please enjoy this (or not, its not everyones thing)! check it out on ao3 as well!

fandom: life series smp characters: ldshadowlady, zombiecleo, mentioned bigb+ others ship: ldshadowlady/zombiecleo additional tags: major character death, graphic depictions of violence, alternate universe - superheroes/superpowers, superhero ldshadowlady, villain zombiecleo, emotional manipulation, manipulation, manipulative relationship, unhealthy relationships, unrequited love, murder, revenge, grief/mourning, mental instability, brutal murder, theyre both fucked up in this one!, drabble, mcyt yuri week, toxic ass fuckign yuri (affectionate), soemthing something revenge something something two graves summary: a grief-stricken hero hunts an unrepentant villian — mcyt valentines yuri week day 4: grief/revenge

LDShadowlady, superhero extraordinaire, is, according to everything Cleo knows, usually quite a nice and polite hero. Sweet, bubbly, but capable of dealing with threats easily when needed.

Unfortunately, her friend BigB never seemed to have quite perfected that skill.

Probably why it was so easy to kill him, actually.

Look, Cleo is well aware that she’s a horrible person! It’s her whole thing! She’s a villain for a reason, people! Killing someone who betrayed her the way BigB did is really not that big of a deal. She has done domestic terrorism before, murdering one random hero is not her worst crime. Yet, it seems that it’s the one that LDShadowlady has fixated on. Or, rather, the one Lizzie has fixated on.

Maybe she’s just upset about Cleo’s whole ‘tricking you into finding me sympathetic, making you fall in love with me so hard that you start spying on other heroes for me and then murdering your best friend in front of you after I got what I needed’ thing. Actually, not gonna lie, that does sound like the most likely reason Lizzie is currently on a one woman hunt for Cleo’s head. Attached or otherwise. In Cleo’s defence, what kind of hero actually falls in love with a villain. Also, the little shit deserved it. Maybe if he didn’t leave her for dead, they wouldn’t have killed him.

Joe always tells her she’s very vindictive. He also often tells them it’s one of their best traits. So, realistically, this is fine. This is fine.

Okay, so maybe the whole ‘pretending to date her’ thing was a teeny bit mean, even for them. Especially when she did it to one of the top heroes in the country. Cleo is, to be honest, screwed. Completely and utterly screwed. Apparently grieving and vengeful superheroes don’t tend to be very delicate when it comes to dealing with threats like, let’s say, a villain ranked #5 most wanted in the country. A villain like Zombie.

Cleo is standing on the roof of an apartment building, a cool night time breeze blowing her hair back, the only sounds the distant cars far below. It rained earlier so everything’s wet and they’re left to stand. She’s pondering all her life decisions, trying to figure if it was worth it. Just as she’s deciding that yes, revenge was in fact worth them being hunted by a pissed off hero, she hears a faint splash of something stepping in a puddle behind her.

Spinning around, she’s greeted by pink hair and a tear stained face. Lizzie. Fantastic. Just wonderful! Everything is fine!

“You!” Lizzie snarls, “You bloody monster!”

“I mean, I think that’s very subjective.” Cleo says, desperately wishing they actually told her friends where they were going today.

“Oh my gosh, I-” She stops and smiles, something dangerous and just a little unhinged hiding in her expression, “You know what? I really want to see you die!”

She launches herself at Cleo, not even bothering to use her little flower power to attack, going in with her bare hands. They smile and dodge. Despite the lies, fighting with Lizzie always felt like a dance. This will be fun! As long as they don’t die, obviously.

Lizzie swings wildly at them, nailing a solid punch on her jaw. Her eyes are wide with prominent bags and she doesn’t seem to be wearing her comms or the legally required camera that all heroes should have. That’s not good. But it’s fine. It’s all fine.

“I can’t believe I trusted you! You lied to me and I trusted you! I-” Cleo backs up and Lizzie slips in pursuit, grabbing their leg on her way down and dragging them along, “I bloody loved you, do you get that?! How could you?”

Lizzie climbs on top of her, keeping them on the ground and murmurs “The worst part is that I still bloody do! Because I’m stupid. And you’re beautiful. And you knew exactly what to say every time. I can’t believe I fell for you, for all your stupid lies!”

Cleo finally struggles free and throws Lizzie off of her and takes several steps back, wishing they kept comms on them.

“When you- When I saw you k-kill him, it didn’t quite hit and my first thought was about blummin’ heck, it was about helping you cover it up! You charmed that bloody badly, trained me like a blummin’ dog!” She stands, her costume dirty and wet, hands shaking, and they take some more steps back, “Can you even imagine how much I loved you? How much I still do because you know, I told you, that I hate letting go of people? You bloody monster. Did you ever even care?”

“LDShado-”

“Don’t! You know my name. I know you do, Cleo. Don’t be shy now.”

“Fine. Lizzie, then. What I figure is, I figure you’re real mad right now and- Well. You have the right to be, okay? I messed up, is what I’m saying. But I promise th-” They just wanted to buy some time, spout some of that bullshit Lizzie loves and get out. Clearly they didn’t say the right thing, not this time. No charming their way out now.

“No! No, no, no!” She lurches forward and grabs Cleo by the shoulders. “Oh no, you don’t! If you won’t say anything important. Then- Oh my gosh, then I suppose I can just cut to the chase!”

Lizzie pushes, far harder than they’ve ever felt prior and they land on the ground. Hard. Lizzie flips in her in a smooth move and grabs the back of her hair. They struggle but she won’t let go and the realisation strikes that no, everything is not fine, and that they never said bye to Joe when she left earlier and she left Scott on read and Stress was meant to drop by tomorrow and-

They realise the last thing they’ll ever see is the dirty concrete. The last voice they’ll hear is someone’s who loved them far more than they even thought of her. Will her friends even know what happened? There was so fucking much Cleo wanted to do! They wanted to tear down all this corrupt bullshit and have fun doing it! But now-

“I’m gonna avenge BigB. And myself. And my bloody heart! All in one!”

Nothing will come of any of it now, will it?

Then Lizzie pulls their head back and slams it into the concrete. And then does it again. Again. Again. Again, again, again againagainagainagain-

When the authorities arrive all that is left is a woman wailing and the unrecognisable remains of someone she thought was her forever.

[thisisanude]

it hurts so bad it hurts so bad God God God i’m fucked i’m fucked this is so painful i don’t know how to deal this hurts so bad i feel like my body is shutting down i feel like i can tdocsnhthjgg and there’s no solution there’s no fix because there’s no way i could ever 1) come out to my family and 2) leave my perfect boyfriend that my family loves and that i also love and have so many good memories with ???? but why am i so sad why does it feel so bad how am i going to get over this im literally nonstop feeling this awful feeling of impending doom and it’s just getting worse and seeing her feels so good but hurts a lot like so bad and i can’t do this i really don’t know what to do i need to make a choice i don’t want to make it i really don’t want to please don’t make me please don’t i hate this so bad and the guilt of emotional cheating is eating me up so bad actually eating me alive. like i can’t eat i feel bad all the time and to be fair im anxious about a lot of things rn but this is one of the top and nothing makes me as guilty as this. i’ve never felt this guilty before i really haven’t. in front of my boyfriend, in front of my family. not to mention this is how my relationship right now kinda started. like not fully but kinda this time with a lot more nuances. in my past relationship i loved him but i was never in love with him i don’t think. i knew i didn’t wanna be with him forever. and i wanted to break up months if not a full year before actually breaking up. i was just too pussy to do it and i was going back and forth with it but i was questioning our relationship and i wished i was single but in like a lowkey way like if he broke up with me id be ok type of way but i cant break up with him also i still like having a bf IDK. but my current boyfriend i was in love with for multiple years and even tho we’ve had periods in our relationship where it was rough we always came back and i really genuinely always thought we’d be together forever. i mean we’ve been together for 5 years and i feel like our lives are so intertwined like i have so so so many memories with him so many periods of my life where im like heavily with him and so many gifts from him and so many inside jokes and inside fun and i don’t understand what happened i really don’t i’m so lost im so lost i don’t know how this could’ve happened i just want to be honest honestly but i can’t i can’t i can never hurt him hes so precious and i love him so much. i don’t understand how i can love him as much as i do with my newfound issue like im doing the thing that hurts him the most by having feelings for someone else how dare i say i love him. im such a bad person i want to tell everyone they’re right and they need to stay away from me and i dont deserve to be happy and i just want to die honestly this makes me dissociate so heavy that maybe its a good thing that my mri was moved because im gonna be dissociating more heavily now. im not ok at all this is too much i cant handle it i feel so bad i dont know how to be a real person i just want to feel normal i just want to be ok. i keep thinking about spring semester and how good it was like up until april i would say except april was really good but really bad at the same time because that is when i realized it. i really wish i could have both of them i really wish that i was polyamorous but he is really not so thats never going to happen. but this makes me think back and think why did this happen like did our relationship also go downhill without me noticing. and it felt like we were having some upsetting fights not long before then like the one in august and then another 2 in november ? but then december felt really good with him it felt like things were getting better we had another fight in january but i don’t even remember what it was about. and it’s been a long time since then wow i feel like a fully different person. it’s crazy how much things have changed. i don’t know who i am anymore. i really don’t. i’m scared. i’m really scared. i just want to go home and feel normal and feel grounded and

[jinkicake]

BIG MOOD PATHETIC SCARAMOUCHE IS SO FUNNY HES RLY THE LITTLE MEOW MEOW😭 need him to be absolutely obsessed w me but he’s too embarrassed that he wants to hold my hand so he pretends to hate me and im like “ that’s mice sweetheart what di you want for dinner?” Saw someone make a dc where you ignore him for like 5 days and he’s on his knees begging like “PLEASE LOOK AT ME” like thats so real to me😭😭 bc once you’ve given him affection he’s gunna do everything to keep it within his grasp😔 ALSO HE DEF WOULD TIE YOU UP AND LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN💀 childe and singora are so casual about it😭 when he comes back they talk like you’re not even there “how long have they been here?” “I lost count after the fourth hour” “ they’re still conscious I’m impressed” like he’s such an asshole but he will do the 🥺🥺👉🏼👈🏼”can I have a hug” afterwards💀 love that for him. Keeps him in my pocket like a little purse dog, he’s my guard dog boyfriend bc he will kill first and ask questions later. “ I don’t like how he looked at you” “he’s the waiter” AND YOOOO DONT EVEN LET DOTTORE UGLY ASS COME CLOSE TO YOU ITS OVER FR-don’t like his new design he’s just a creep like I was the “clones” back the short haired funny scientist dude like I like them unhinged in a clown way!! He’s fuckable, the abusive leather daddy dom on the other hand😒 like he’s fun if he has a tired annoyed uncle personally like he lives to bully childe. But just going around threatening scaramouche and collei bc I forgot he did experiments on her too in the manga is musty like that mask is lame!! WHERE IS THE CLOWN KING😡- he would reflexively go for his throat like he opens his mouth and suddenly his throat is slit “ my bad I got anxious” SGDHSHS UNDERSTANDABLE😭😭😭 and the streets is saying he’s gunna have a claymore??? BE SERIOUS HES A SCIENTISTS TWINK WHOS HUNCHED IVER IN A LAB ALL DAY HE CANT CARY THAT SHIT?? Like he only experiments on KIDS bc he could never kidnap a whole adult like imagine he tries to get itto?? HIS ASS WOULD BE DEAD IN 10 SECONDS!! HE CANNOT FIGHT DELUSION OR NOT!! I would beat his ASS like if you don’t get your ass out my face looking like an X-ray 😒 like be bothering all them people bc he wants so ass he weights 70 pounds soaking wet so he needs to borrow childes body weight

no exACTLY. listen, i love mean!scaramouche as much as the next person but if he's not obsessed then i dont want him. pathetic!scaramouche is the best scaramouche

i saw this scaralumi fanart of him drunk at a bar and diluc calls lumine to calm scara down and when she answers hes like 'hey ugly' and she hangs up and he starts crying again and ugh it's too perfect like that artist captured his best side with that simple fanart heheh

HAHAH yeah scaramouche is the worst bc he would do something so mean to you like ignore you while working but the second he finds out youre mad at him he'll be begging for your attention like he didn't just starve you for two days.... hes a great yandere me thinks-

Scaramouche = purse dog is the best comparison ive ever read T T

okay hear me out... i can forgive all the heinous crimes dottore has committed but i draw the line at him being UGLY. Maybe if he were cuter I would also be obsessed w him but he's so..... eh- LOL i like the clones better than him! (rip to the clones :-(() but also.... him being ugly is kinda the appeal? am i right??? i can never make up my mind-

dottore is supposed to have a CLAYMORE?! WHAT THE HLLL,,,im very confused about his leaks bc i heard that the shit company can't let characters be playable if theyre evil and tbh i dont want him to be redeemed bc he literally cant be redeemed and hes fun as a psycho like??? idk idk idk im just focused on sexy yelan in 3.4 she will be mine!

also isn't dottore one of the top three strongest in the fatui??? right i think....? i seriously dont know how but tbh i dont care! i just focus on mr hottie soooooooooooo sexy capitano teehee

[itsladykit]

I posted 2,143 times in 2022

That's 1,349 more posts than 2021!

119 posts created (6%)

2,024 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@deaderrose

@musicalhell

@bishonenrockmysocks

@thebibliosphere

@chroniclethologica

I tagged 2,112 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#sandman - 86 posts

#my work - 73 posts

#the sandman - 73 posts

#writing - 62 posts

#ofmd - 57 posts

#our flag means death - 56 posts

#not my work - 50 posts

#awesome art - 47 posts

#undertale - 44 posts

#boost - 43 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#but also…sometimes it’s nice to find that sweetspot in boomer humor that allows for people to decide to just circumvent the complication of

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Sometimes, a mutual will surprise you. Unpleasantly.

And you just gotta unfollow and write a vague vent post about it.

25 notes - Posted February 24, 2022

#4

You know what?

I don’t think Tumblr should give writing advice like they’re offering absolutes. Some things work sometimes, but sometimes they won’t.

It reminds me of all advice I grew up with about creating characters without making them “Mary Sues”. You know what you get when you follow that advice to the letter? Boring ass characters.

Just write. Write your shit. Don’t worry about using “said” too much, or using too many adjectives. Don’t even worry about plot holes or writing something believable. Just. Fucking. Write.

Then, when you’re finished, tuck the thing away and bring it out once you’ve forgotten most of it. Now you can see it through a reader’s eyes and notice that the adjectives are distracting or you forgot to resolve a plotline or the romance is forced. Half the job of writing is editing, but they’re two different hats. Put them on one at a time and stop trying to make your first draft perfect.

(Obviously this format doesn’t work as well when writing fanfic or episodic pieces. I still think getting the bones down first is a good place to start. Fill in the flesh and tendons when you give it another look. Be patient with yourself and stop trying to mold yourself to some rando’s rules.)

28 notes - Posted August 30, 2022

#3

You got any thoughts, headcanons, or whatever about Imp you haven't had a chance to share before? And/or about Hordak and Entrapdak as well.

(Also they changed the ask window, it looks like the text post editor now and it's weird. Which has nothing to do with anything, I was just surprised by it.)

^_^ I’ll have to check it out in browser, now that I have a functional computer again.

Hmmm….

I don’t think my Imp headcanons are outside the common interpretation. Most of it cribbed from a @cruciferousjex fic, which I highly recommend. (Link HERE.)

I think the most significant thing about Imp is that he very much symbolizes Hordak’s commitment to being different from Prime, even before he makes the conscious decision to split from him. He doesn’t discard Imp because of his disabilities; he accommodates them. I very much headcanon that Imp is incapable of speech, but—in addition to sign language because I fucking love sign language—Hordak created the voice modulator that allows Imp to “speak”. He accommodated Imp’s disabilities in a way Prime never would have accommodated him.

I suppose my most unique headcanon about Imp is that he prefers the modulator despite its limitations. He knows sign language, but he just enjoys using others’ voices to speak.

39 notes - Posted April 18, 2022

#2

Alright, I’m resisting the urge to write for What We Do In The Shadows, so….

(Beware spoilers for season 3 finale)

I know everyone is completely upset that we were robbed of the happy Nandermo road trip we all wanted, but please imagine—

A tense reunion after some time has passed. (Let’s call it a year.) Perhaps after a dust-up of some sort. (I’d be lying if I wasn’t visualizing Nandor being given the chance to showcase his own warrior prowess. Him and Guillermo back to back, fighting baddies? Please.)

Anyway—Guillermo expects to settle back into his role as familiar bodyguard, but he quickly realizes that…Nandor doesn’t need his help with all the little (and big) things Guillermo used to do. Nandor’s had a year on his own—perhaps a hard year on his own—and he’s recovered his independence.

At first, Guillermo’s happy about this. Less work, right? But then he really starts to realize…Nandor doesn’t need him. And that is crushing, because no matter what speeches he makes about “found family”, in his heart of hearts, he fears the vampires kept him around because they needed him, not because they’re fond of him.

As he’s starting to spiral, though, Nandor asks to speak to him. And he doesn’t ask him as he would an underling. He doesn’t demand or whine. It’s a request, and not one Guillermo knows how to deny.

They talk. It’s awkward at first. Stilted small talk between people that are re-learning each other. Guillermo loses patience first, and asks what Nandor wants to talk to him about. He’s not sure what he’s expecting, but it’s not what he gets—an offer to turn him. Here and now, no trip to the Tigris needed. Because Guillermo has earned it. It’s offered formally, stiffly, and without feeling.

Guillermo breaks. It’s everything he ever wanted but in the worst way possible. He shouts his frustration and his anger and every emotion he’s repressed for more than a decade.

But he’s not the only one. Nandor breaks too. And is finally, finally willing to admit what he feels for Guillermo and how terrified he was that Guillermo would leave him when he was turned. But he’s had a year away, and now he knows that he can bear the pain when Guillermo leaves again, even though it will break his heart. And Guillermo has earned this, and Nandor…Nandor is strong enough now to let him go.

When they settle, they realize that they’re both idiots that they both have strong feelings for each other. And now…they can enter into a relationship as equals, both wanting the other more than they need the other.

57 notes - Posted January 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

While I very much don’t mind the interpretation that Hob and Morpheus have romantic feelings for each other…there’s a big part of me that really wishes there was more appreciation for the developing friendship. I mean. Listen—

Dream starts this whole thing like a scientist observing a weird little bug. He’s disdainful of humanity—at this stage, he has more in common with Desire than Death—and puts Hob in a position he fully expects Hob to regret. This isn’t a gift. Not from Dream’s perspective.

It’s a classic story, really; deity gives human exactly what he wants, only for the human to realize this is more curse than gift. Dream’s just fulfilling that archetypal role, and he’s waiting to see how the story will conclude. He’s waiting to see Hob come to that realization and how he’ll react when he does.

Of course, this very classic story is turned perfectly on its head. Dream keeps waiting for the turn. He’s waiting for the story to reach its natural conclusion, the only conclusion he can see. And it never does. Further, as time passes, Dream stops seeing Hob as an object of study or an archetype in a story. He begins to see him as a person—in some ways, an extraordinary person—and eventually, as a friend.

That progression is beautiful. Again, I’m not trying to sink anyone’s ship, I just wish that slow growth from disdain to fascination to respect to real friendship wasn’t brushed over so often.

413 notes - Posted September 2, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[lady-stormbraver]

I posted 2,012 times in 2022

That's 1,044 more posts than 2021!

53 posts created (3%)

1,959 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@kyber-hearts

@brown-little-robin

@lovesodeepandwideandwell

@starcrier

@swinging-stars-from-satellites

I tagged 1,364 of my posts in 2022

Only 32% of my posts had no tags

#in a galaxy far far away - 88 posts

#looking for lovely - 73 posts

#batfam - 60 posts

#kenobi spoilers - 52 posts

#snadger.gif - 42 posts

#jason todd - 41 posts

#encanto - 35 posts

#oc: violetta - 34 posts

#humans - 27 posts

#kenobi - 24 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#deeply kind characters are compelling to me and i think it's because it's so hard and so antethical to what much of the world calls strength

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

okay mutuals, y’all have convinced me: I’m watching Free Guy. will update!

21 notes - Posted July 29, 2022

#4

nobody asked for this, but y’all should know that Sleeping At Last - Instrumentals is an absolutely lovely study vibes Spotify playlist. it’s gotten me through many a coffee shop homework and midnight study session over the years.

plus— the quietly hopeful and ethereal vibes of all sleeping at last songs. so calming and peaceful. 10/10 would recommend for all your light, dark, or light-in-the-dark academia needs.

68 notes - Posted July 11, 2022

#3

May I,,, offer you another chapter in these trying times?

A rough summary:

Bruno: Hola Casita :)

Casita: *smacks him upside the head with a tile*

72 notes - Posted January 2, 2022

#2

if you are in education, therapeutic services, or any form of childcare...

please,

please,

please

don’t give up on a child just because their challenging behaviors are scary and draining.

don’t give up on a child just because it seems like they’re not communicating with you.

don’t give up on a child just because they have greater (or different) needs than the other kids.

don’t give up on a child just because the work is hard.

and for the love of all that is good, don’t give up on the child on their FIRST DAY in a brand new environment with communication barriers.

no child is unreachable! no child is incapable!

but you have to give them TIME to become accustomed to New Things and New People, and you have to give them TIME to learn and grow in the areas you see needs-- especially if they don’t understand how to communicate with you yet, oh my gosh.

look, i get it. i really do. i know it’s hard. i know it’s exhausting. i know you’re crawling towards the weekend and feeling defeated.

but if this child was your child, wouldn’t you want someone to be in their corner?

wouldn’t you want someone to, at the very least, give them a fighting chance?

if you care about children, and i believe you do, then you have to be willing to do the hard work. you have to be willing to try all the resources you’ve got before throwing in the towel. you just HAVE to.

yes, the work is hard. yes, the days are long. but it is worth it.

your words and choices now will impact so much of how they see themselves in the future.

please, please be careful with these precious souls.

107 notes - Posted August 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

hey!!

i don’t know who needs to hear this, but being gentle with yourself is not admitting defeat!!

choosing to:

1.) take a step back from doing all the things while running yourself ragged and

2.) focus instead on doing fewer things in a healthier manner

…is actually really rad and wise of you!!!

it is perfectly okay to take your time!!

you haven’t failed. and you don’t have to be perfect. nobody is holding you to this standard but you, dear one.

you are free to just breathe, and be, and grow at your own pace.

and we’ll make it. i promise. 🤍

136 notes - Posted September 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[ladyonfire28]

Hi! Sorry I'm sure you've answered this many times before, but which of Adèle's other films would you most recommend? (FYI I loved Adèle playing a wacko in Die Blumen von Gestern, so I would love to see her in more comedic roles) And what about Noémie's other projects? Would be great if you could list your top 3 or top 5 for each of them! And also thanks for all your translations of the DVD commentary! You've been such a great resource for the fandom, esp for us non-french speakers!

I’ll have to separate their best films and best performances because it’s not always the same !

Also I haven’t seen all their films so you’ll have to take this into account ! And I won’t count portrait in it because it’s obviously first everywhere (or almost aha)

For Adèle, top 5 films :

120 battements par minutes (bpm)

Les combattants (it’s a mix between a drama and a comedy, she won a César for her performance here)

En liberté ! (It’s a comedy !)

Water Lilies

The Unknown Girl

Top 5 performances

The Unknown Girl

En liberté !

Les combattants

Suzanne (she also won a César for her supporting role in it)

Water Lilies

For Noémie, top 5 best films :

Les Drapeaux de papier/ Paper Flags (no way to find any English subtitles for that one unfortunately 😔)

Heaven Will Wait

Jumbo (i haven’t seen it but I’m gonna put it in the middle of that list anyway haha. No subtitles though... )

République (an interactive film that is only downloadable on the phone in a couple of countries and no subtitles either 😕)

Return of the Hero (a comedy !)

Top 5 performances :

Paper Flags

Heaven Will Wait

Jumbo (it should probably be number 1 but I haven’t seen it so I’ll keep it there lmao)

Curiosa

Twisting Fate

[raggaraddy]

Tae’s first time with a virgin if your still taking requests?

Virgin

A/n: Thank you for the request! It was fun to write. Enjoy xx ��💜💜

Trigger warning: Smut, first time, oral, D/s themes, examples of a bad D/s dynamic, dirty talk, mild spanking.

Taehyung

Dom!Taehyung

You pull out your phone and type the message. Over and over. Deleting it and re-writing it about 30 times.

Until you see the typing bubble pop up on Taehyung's side.

If you have something to say, get it out. He writes.

Damn. You really should have written this on paper first. But too late now.

You had spoken with Taehyung for months and had met him in person for the first time last week. With clever wording, so far you'd gotten around telling him your secret. But you know you have to tell him before your first play session tonight. You don't know if a guy can tell or not, but if he can it's going to be embarrassing if he finds out that way.

It's not like you haven't done things before, you were probably more experienced than most when it came to other areas. You've played with other kinky people before, hooked up with girl friends and guy friends, and you've had a full D/s relationship that was filled with BDSM. It's just that you'd never done that one thing.

Really, you don't even know why you held onto it for so long. At first, you were trying to be smart and not give it away too quickly or easily, but then it almost became something you had a sense of pride in and tried to protect. But Taehyung was special. Someone you felt connected to. And you know, it's time to get it over with. Both telling him and the act itself. You have to simply rip the bandaid off and tell him. He shouldn't be mad. You didn't exactly lie about anything.

Its just about tonght :)

Please don't be mad. I ddnt know how to say it before

But you should probably knwo I'm a virgin

Three separate messages. Typed so quickly they're riddled with spelling and grammar errors. The words are not nearly as well prepared as you had wanted. But at least it was done.

The read symbol appears, and then nothing. Staring at your phone for what feels like 5 minutes, there is no reply. You're running over a dozen new messages, typing them in your head first. Wanting to explain that you didn't lie and that everything you told him, you really had done.

Typing the first word, his answer finally comes through. Only 3 words that make you relieved but also anxious from their conciseness.

See you tonight.

After spending hours getting ready, it was finally time to meet him. You came to his house and were perfectly on time. Although, you had a moment of concern thinking you were at the wrong address. When Taehyung said he had a big apartment you hadn't expected it to be a 2 story, riverside, penthouse in the middle of the city. He never wanted to tell you anything about his job, and now you were a little worried he's someone famous or that he runs a drug cartel or something.

Feeling a bit out of place and with the upcoming plans looming ahead of you, you start the night filled with nerves. However, Taehyung's confident demeanour as well as some casual conversation and a few drinks, eventually help you start to relax. And soon you're even beginning to get a little impatient.

A mix of anticipation of what is to come, steadily becoming tipsy, and having not touched yourself for a week, your mind is already running with all manner of dirty thoughts. But unfortunately, you're far too shy to initiate anything so you are entirely dependant on Taehyung's schedule. And he is taking it slow.

Normally, he would have a girl naked and on her knees by this time, but you were special to him, also. And especially now knowing that you're a virgin, he is determined to make the night last. Sat on the couch with him, there are small touches here and there, provocative topics of conversation, and his commanding tone of voice that makes you melt. Your excitement peaking as he passionately kisses you, pulling you onto his lap.

Nearing 2 hours of talking and teasing, Taehyung finally starts the main event. Taking you with him into the most stunning playroom you have ever witnessed. An industrial meets a minimalistic-modern theme. A beautiful king four-poster bed, with an x-frame top, a wooden headboard, and a white canopy. Making you think that this must be where princesses who liked to get spanked come to play.

Never parting his lips from yours, slowly and gently Taehyung undresses you. His delicate removal of your clothes and his tender kisses are in explicit contrast to the sharp, rough tugs on your hair that he uses to move you around. The combination making your skin burn with lust.

Sitting you in the middle of the bed, he remains fully clothed. A prickle of excited nerves shivering up your body. You're beyond needy and ready. Your hands starting to pull at his shirt, unable to refrain yourself any longer.

"Please," you whine. As his mouth comes off yours, you pull him into you a little firmer.

"What do you want?" Taehyung asks. His voice coming out deep and lowly spoken.

"I want," you gulp trying to think of what to say. Your face heating. "you?"

"That wasn't convincing." He moves forward, his hand pressing to your chest, pushing you flat onto the bed. "I asked you," Leaning over, his mouth comes to your breast, sucking your nipple. Your gasps turning to moans as he bites down before repeating himself. "What do you want?"

"Whatever you want, Sir." Your hands cling into the blankets trying to stop yourself from digging them into his perfect dark hair instead.

Looking up he smirks. "Mmm, when you call me that," he grabs your wrist, bringing it to his crotch. Pressing your open palm to the hard bulge straining in his pants. "it really turns me on."

You whine as he pulls your hand away. You'd been fantasizing for weeks about what he must feel like and now you were so close to having what you dreamt of.

"Don't worry about me, Y/n. I'm going to get what I want. But what I want right now," his hand suddenly cups your pussy making you gasp, "is for you- my horny, wet, little virgin," instinctually you spread your legs wider and his middle finger presses deeper, slipping between your folds making you wail. "to tell me what you want."

"Anything," You're trying to make yourself say more, but your mind is swimming and you're glowing with embarrassment thinking about actually saying what you want him to do to you. His piercing stare, his beauty, his hard cock, you're aching to have him. He knows what you want. It's not fair for him to make you ask for it.

"Y/n," your eyes lift to his face upon hearing his rumbling voice call your name. "Have I given you the impression that I tell you to do something so I can hear my own voice?"

Your eyes get big as you chew your lip, shaking your head. Even his light scolding is turning you on.

"Good. Then I'll ask you one last time, and if you make me ask you again, I'm going to put your panties back on, and they won't be coming off again tonight." he purrs making you whimper at his threat. "I was going to accept your little two-word answer, but now you've made me ask you multiple times, so you'll tell me in detail. What do you want me to do to you, little girl?"

You feel like curling under the blanket from shame, but you start to push the answer out. "I want... you... to," you swallow looking down, "fuck me." You can see his eyebrow raise, telling you to go on and give him the specifics like he asked. "I want to have you inside me, Sir. I want," you're thinking of the next words while feeling near to tears from discomfort. Unable to even glance at his face. "I want you to be the first man to fuck me." It's nearly inaudible by the end of the sentence, but you get it out. Hoping it's enough to make him happy.

Finally building the courage to look up, Taehyung is brimming with satisfaction and hunger. Looking ready to devour you.

His fingers gently hold your chin, lifting your head a little higher to meet him as he hovers over you. "Thank you, Y/n." He says softly, making your stomach swarm with butterflies. His warm reaction has you even more confident in your choice. "Put your arms above your head, and interlock your fingers." He instructs hushedly.

Too eager to follow his order your arms stretch above you, knocking into the headboard making your wrists bend. Holding your hips, Taehyung yanks you down the bed giving you the space to hold your arms out straight.

Pressing down on your wrists his face softly becomes more serious "You're not going to move your hands at all until I say. Not in any direction. Do you understand?"

With a little smile, you nod. Already having fun. "Yes, Sir."

"Good girl," he praises making you blush for what is surely the 100th time tonight.

He releases your hands and you push them down making sure to follow his order.

Slowly Taehyung shifts down your body, his fingertips lightly tracing down your arms and your sides, making you flinch and squirm. Fighting through being ticklish to hold still and keep your position.

Setting between your legs he continues to play with you. Your eyes clenching shut as his touch runs down your neck, your chest and stomach, gripping your thighs, tracing your lips. His fingers softly pinching your nipples producing a moan, your hips bucking up as your breathing deepens.

Moving lower still, Taehyung pushes your thighs wider. Lifting one of your legs he has you bend it upright, kissing from your knee down your thigh. Trailing lower until his lips touch your core making you bite your lip to stop from crying out. Needing to bite back even more vocal cries as his tongue flicks out, kneading against your clit. Starting to suck and lick you. Your legs spreading further on their own accord. Quickly losing your senses to pleasure.

His nearly painful grip on your hips jerks you down, pulling you into his tongue as it dives inside you making you cry out. Instinctually, your hands want to cling onto him and lift an inch from the mattress. Quick realization making you panic and slam them back flat.

Soon you're fussing, calling out his name as the flat of his tongue strokes you, eating you like a man starved. His long fingers deep inside you, massaging you in the same insisting manner. Pushing you to the edge without pause. Cumming with a yelp you bite your cheek in lieu of your arm. Your orgasm not stopping him, instead, he spreads your legs further lapping up all of the juice you spill. And just when you can't stand anymore and your body is starting to shake, he finally springs up smacking his lips with a satisfied open mouth grin. Wiping your cum from his face.

Flopping onto the bed alongside you, he rests over you again, kissing you deeply, letting you taste yourself. Leaving you breathless when he finally parts.

"How are you doing?" He asks, his mindlessly touch once more trailing along your skin. "Good?" he presses for confirmation.

"Yes," you giggle, feeling lightheaded in the afterglow. Wanting to touch him back you, accidentally lift your arms off the mattress again. "Oh," You gasp, settling them back.

Raising up, he leans on his elbow. Digging into your joint hands, he clicks his tongue. "How many times did you lift your arms? Hmm?"

"Um," You feel like your cheeks burning under his inquisitive gaze. In truth, you hadn't counted. But you think at least 7 times. "Seven," you whisper.

"And how many times did I say you could move them?"

Your mind races for a moment trying to remember exactly what he said. You don't remember him saying a number though. And you realize it's a trick question. "None?" you squeak.

"That's right." He hums.

Sitting upright, he abruptly sticks his hands under you, flipping you onto your stomach in forceful motions. Trying to not break position, you stay straight keeping your arms flat to the bed. With a last tug, Taehyung pulls you onto your knees, your elongated arms and aching your back makes your face burry into the mattress.

"Seven," He says. His large open palm smacking your ass harshly. He doesn't count down the rest, but in your own head, you do. Each stinging slap only worsening your hunger.

But it doesn't matter how desperate you are, Taehyung isn't nearly done with you. Over the next 90 minutes, he touches and toys with you. You come serval times from his hands, his tongue, from toys, and even once from your own hand as he makes you get yourself off.

As the events go on, he gradually undresses. His own needs getting dire, he also cums, letting you suck him off and swallow his load. But soon after he is hard again. Getting too much enjoyment from teasing you with his cock, seeing you become a mess. And no matter how many times you cum, it is the part you want the most. At last, though, he addresses your needful craving.

Putting you on your back, you can see the switch in his eyes and the intent behind it. Laying over you and resting on his elbows, he lines up with your entrance. Your body almost shaking with expectation.

"What do you want little girl?" he repeats, his own breath strained with desire.

You no longer have any apprehension about saying it. You've never wanted anything, anyone, inside you more than you want Taehyung right now. "Please fuck me, Sir." you pant, tilting your hips up, your motion rubbing his tip through your dripping folds.

This time it's Taehyung whose exterior cracks. Dipping in your warm opening makes him groan. His jaw tensing, he has to restrain himself from slamming his dick inside you. He wants to do it. He wants to make you scream and writhe, and take his dick all at once. But he knows he can't be cruel. He knows he has overcome his baser instincts and be patient.

Pressing his lips to yours, slowly, carefully, he starts to edge his hips forward. His cock sinking inside you. Inch by inch. Allowing you the time and space to adjust to him. And you're grateful for it. He's stretching you and the deeper he goes the further you're being spread. The size of him, his thickness is larger than any vibrator you've used before. Or anything else you've had inside you.

Breathing lightly, shortly, your hands are clinging to the blanket. Your eyes fluttering closed. Feeling him fill you is beyond your wildest imaginations, and right now you wish it would never end.

"Fuck," Taehyung whispers, his entire dick buried inside you. Your virgin walls tightly constricting and twitching around him. With a few heavy breathes, he calms himself. "How does that feel Y/n?" He asks, half teasing you, half genuinely checking on your well-being.

Words have left you. Your mind is delirious. You can only whine and nod stiffly. Your hands wrapping his back draw his body against yours. Mutly begging for him to continue.

He gets your meaning and is all too happy to oblige. Keeping a slow, steady pace, he lifts his hips. The rubbing making you fevered. And when he sinks into you again, he sets up an even pace of long deep strokes. Rocking into your over and over and it isn't long before any hint of pain is replaced with pure euphoria. Your legs shaking and shivering.

"Such a good girl." He moans into your lips. "You're taking my dick so well," Starting to pick up the pace, your moans come out more unrestrained. A kind of vibrating static filling your brain.

As his thrusts become more empowered, the low ache returns. Hurting just enough that it's helping the incredible sensation build. After several minutes, one of Taehyung's hands lowers to your clit. The external pressure causing electricity. Enhancing the pleasure inside. Quickly the combination overwhelms you and you can feel pleasure in your core unlike any other. As if every single cell in your body were crying out in joy, you lift and fall, exploding in ecstasy. The sensation turning your stomach, aching the back of your jaw from how hard it hits you. Taehyung's tongue filling your mouth, he swallows the breathless screams of your orgasm.

"Oh god, Y/n, you feel so good." Taehyung groans, his thrusts not slowing any. Your body floating, your mind ringing in orgasmic relief.

The pulsing inside you seems to last for an eternity. And even after it fades your oversensitive body is still quivering from his unrelenting motions. You're exhausted and wrecked and now that you've cum, his size is starting to make you sore.

"Did that feel good?" He purrs. Your moans of pleasure turning into whimpers as his pace begins to pick up. Pushing on his chest a little, you're breathing too hard to vocalize your thoughts. But Taehyung can read your actions.

"You can take a little more, cant you, baby?" He coos, pressing deep and holding it, grinding his hips down. Making you squeal in pleasurable pain. "You wanna make me feel good don't you?"

He stops moving, pulling back a little to give you space to breathe and to hear him clearly. You nearly sigh in relief. The tip of him was pressing too far. Your eyes open as his hand comes to your face, making you look at him.

"Can you be a big girl for me while I fuck you?" he kisses you lightly, sucking your bottom lip. "Do you wanna be a good little girl and let me use you, let me fill you with cum?"

Even with your body depleted, you don't need to think twice. You want all of that. You want him to cum inside you. You want to make him happy, whatever it takes. Not looking away from his eyes you nod. A little scared, but mostly turned on and excited at the idea of him using you to get himself off.

Closed lipped, his mouth lifts into a smirk. His eyes getting prideful at your agreement.

Easing into you, his breath becomes shaky. Again he bottoms out inside you and you whine in pain. With your approval given he isn't waiting on a slow build this time. He's rock hard and your warm wet cunt is driving him crazy. He knows it's going to hurt you. But he also knows you won't need to endure for very long. He is already nearly ready to burst.

Quickly his thrusts get faster and rougher. Extending his arms he raises up and lifts one of your legs for leverage. His chest pushing down on the back of your thigh spreads you deeper and shoves him even further inside you.

You can't contain yourself at that point. Crying out with every thrust. Your skin is covered in goosebumps. You can tell he is still restraining himself, but it's easily too much. You're drained and tender. And he's too big and rough for you to handle.

But despite your discomfort, you force yourself to stay still. Repeating a mantra over and over in your head that you want to be good for him.

Sweating lightly, Taehyung is pounding you until all of sudden, with a final solid snap of his hips, his movements faltering. A chesty moan pouring out of him as his body falls heavier into you. Your raw sensitive walls twitching as they are flooded with warmth. Several small jerking thursts pumping all of his cum into you before he drops his weight.

Letting your thigh drop back down, he rests on his elbows on either side of your head, his heavy breath fanning your face. Lightly brushing his lips to yours he kisses you through a smile.

"Such a brave girl." He mutters.

You're so tender that he has you mewling even as he pulls out of you. The movement makes you wince.

Gasping, you're surprised you can actually feel his cum shifting. It feels like it's going to run out of you. Clamping your thighs shut, your face glows again with embarrassment. You're not sure if that is supposed to happen. You thought it would stay inside. But in any case, you don't want to make a mess on his bed.

With a last satisfied grunt, he drops onto his side, leaning on his arm while still hovering above you.

"I'm so proud of you. You did so well." He smiles warmly, brushing your hair off your face, wiping away your sweat. "How do you feel?"

How do you feel? Sore, exhausted, thoroughly use, but mostly,

"Good," You grin sleepily, leaning into his touch.

"Good." He whispers back.

Shuffling a little higher, he pulls a pillow down and nudges it under your head. His arm going under your neck he wraps his other arm around you, hugging you. As you roll to your side and cuddle into him, he takes the hint and draws you in tighter. His hands rubbing up and down your back softly.

"I had a really nice time tonight Y/n." He kisses the top of your head, his chest tightening against you. "Thank you for letting me be your first."

[darkmulti]

Hi! I love your blog! So hard to find a non con writers! Ignore the haters, just keep doing what you love! You’re not alone!

So happy to see your request open! I’d like to request a NON CON where Mafia JK fell in love at first sight with innocent reader and bought her in an auction. He is obsessed with her so he marries her and deflowered her, stuffing his thick manhood in her and. JK has a bloodplay kink. He wouldn’t stop fucking her until she passed out everyday. Milking her dry from orgasms. Thank you 💜

-> Thank you for the reassurance❣️

⚠️: BLOOD PLAY, NON CON, human trafficking, virgin reader, physical, mental & emotional abuse, little/innocent!reader, ddlg-ish, manipulation

“Get the hell up, you have to get ready.”

The man kicked you in your stomach and grabbed your arm, pulling you upstairs to the bathroom

“Wear this dress and fix up your face.”

He left the bathroom and you quickly jumped into the shower

Today was the “big day”

You were being auctioned off

Obviously, you were terrified and nervous

However, your current “owners” said that if someone doesn’t buy you today, they’ll make your life a living hell

They were hungry for money and if no one wanted you, you would’ve been a big waste of their money, time and energy

Well, not really — they just needed to blame someone for their lack of success

Plus, you’re the first person that they’re selling

They kidnapped you when you were walking home from the train station

You didn’t have much family nor friends which kinda made you the perfect target

You cooperated with your two “owners” because you didn’t want to get hurt

Yet, it still happened anyways

They’d often kick you, or slap you, or pull your hair

Nevertheless, you didn’t complain because you wanted to stay out of trouble

When you finished getting ready, your “owners” tied your arms and legs together and threw you into the trunk

The auction event was big

You could tell that you this event had plenty of rich and powerful people just by looking at all the cars

Your owners took you inside through the back door and told you to fix your hair

Once you did, they dragged you behind the stage and made you wait there for nearly 3 hours

There were other girls lined up in front and behind you, half looking terrified and half looking excited

In those three hours you overheard some girls talking about a certain man they wished to be bought by

Those were the girls who were “excited”

They were talking about how they went “all out” to impress him

You tend to not judge people but, you couldn’t help yourself

Who the fuck wants to be sold to anyone?

You couldn’t wrap your head around their thought process

They were practically gushing about this mafia guy who was supposedly young and handsome

Even if he was, why the hell would you want to be someone else’s property?

You muted their voices so you didn’t have to hear their nonsense and soon enough the auction started

One by one, girls and boys went up on stage and the bidding started

You were surprised because some of those girls got sold for only a couple hundred bucks

When it was your turn, your owners basically dragged you on stage and held you wrist as tight as they could so you couldn’t run

“A young, ripe, virgin finishing up university. Starting bid, $50,000.”

One by one, people raised their auction paddles and offered more for you

Your owners went wide eyed after the bids started increasing by $10,000

You eventually passed 1 million and were near 2 million

Random old men were raising their paddles higher and higher, determined to buy you

Eventually one of them had enough and said “5 million dollars!”

The room went silent and your owners were about to say “sold!” when someone interrupted and said “10 million dollars”

Even your mouth dropped

10 million?!

The man stood up and walked closer to the stage

Your two owners recognized him and started bowing multiple times

“S-She’s all yours, Mr. Jeon! Thank you so much. Please take her.”

This was the first time you saw the two males scared and nervous

And it kinda frightened you

It took a lot to scare those two but, this guy did it effortlessly

So, what in the world would happen to you?

You got dragged off stage again and the auction continued

You were dragged into a private room where the man who had just bought you gave the two men 10 million in cash

7 brief cases stacked on top of each other, full of hundreds

The two males happily accepted and let you go with the man

He didn’t want to stick around for the event so, he pulled you out of the building and pushed you into the car

“Anders, drive us home.”

The car ride was silent in the beginning

You’re eyes were glued on the window and his were glued on his phone

About an hour later, you fell asleep against the window and he noticed

He slapped you across the face and pulled you’re body away from the door

“What’re you sleeping for? You did absolutely nothing today. Do you think you’re some kind of princess? Do you think can sleep wherever you want whenever you want? Keep your eyes open. If I catch you sleeping again, I’ll make you regret it.”

Tears gathered in your eyes and you couldn’t hold it in

You started to sniffle, making Jungkook look over at you

“Shut up! If I hear you cry, I’ll force you to walk all the way home, barefoot”

You covered your mouth with your hand and lowered your head

After taking a moment to breathe normally, you apologized

“I’m sorry, Mr. Jeon. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

Jungkook raised his eyebrows

“How do you know my last name?”

“I heard my owners call you by that na-”

Another smack on your cheek, this time a little harder

“How dare you call them your owners?!”

Your eyes held so much terror, and it was a turn on for Jungkook

That was the moment he realized how much control he had over you

You were so naive and innocent, it made him want to ruin you

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Jeon! I didn’t realize! It was an honest mistake.”

“Just wait until we get home” he muttered under his breath but you were able to make it out

You were terrified and rightfully so

Once you got home, Jungkook didn’t have any mercy on you

You were running from him, not knowing where you were going

You ran upstairs into a large bedroom and locked the door

“Please, don’t hurt me!” You cried, clutching onto the top of your dress that he ripped apart

You thought he was on the other side of the door, calming down but the closet door busted open and there he was

You tried to open the room door but he was faster and pulled you back onto the bed

“Already causing so much trouble for me, little one.”

He hovered over you

“I’m sorry. I’m scared. Please, don’t kill me.”

You started to cry under him

You looked so precious, begging for your life

He couldn’t resist

He took off his suit and ripped your dress open

Underneath, you were wearing a red and black lace lingerie

He let out a low growl before attacking your neck and marking you all over

“Wait! Sir! Please! Mr- agh! Mr- Mr. Jeon! No! I’ll give you money! Please! I can give you all the money in my bank account if you just let me go! $59,000 is all I have! I can-”

Jungkook started to chuckle against your neck

“59,000 dollars? That’s all? You expect me to set you free after you give me 59,000 dollars?”

He laughed right in your face which broke your heart

It was your hard earned money

You hated to see someone discredit your hard work just like that

You frowned and got tearful

“It’s all the money I have.”

You said in a quavering voice

Jungkook looked at you

You were dead serious

“I bought you for 10 million dollars and you want me to set you free for $59,000. Anyone with a brain would deny that offer.”

He slapped you again and continued on

Jungkook sucked your neck, breast and chest; leaving dark, purple marks all over

“Wait! Mr. Jeon, I-I’m actually waiting till m-marriage.”

“That doesn’t matter, anymore. You’ll be getting married to me, anyways.”

“No! Please!”

Jungkook pulled down your underwear and rubbed two fingers up your slit, making you shiver

“So pretty. I can’t wait anymore.”

He pulled out his thick shaft and you started to panic

“No! No, no, please! I don’t want this! I don’t want to do this, please!”

He spat on your opening for some lub and pushed his whole length in harshly

You groaned in pain when he did but couldn’t fight back

Your hands were against his chest but, pushing him off wasn’t easy

He started thrusting inside of you at a cruel speed, causing you gasp really loudly before wailing

“Hey! Stop! Please! It hurts!”

Jungkook pinned your wrist next to your head and fucked you deeply

After hours of fucking, cum and blood covered his cock and the bedsheet

He smeared the blood and cum mix all over your body

“Look at you, covered in your virgin blood mixed with my cum. You look so pretty.”

You were mumbling incoherent words, unable to think straight

He forced three orgasms out of you, of course you weren’t able to think straight

Sweat covered your forehead and your tight hole was leaking cum and blood

He pushed in one more time and began fucking you hard

You were squealing under him, telling him to stop yet he slapped your ass and grabbed your throat

“Your cunt seems to love my cock. That’s why you’re cumming so much around me. So stop telling me that it hurts because I know it’s a lie.”

One more deep push and you both came together

He laid down next to you and pulled you onto his chest

“Next week, you’ll officially be mine.”

You weren’t listening

Because you were passed out

It was your first time and he had made you cum at least 17 times

It would be surprising if you didn’t pass out

Jungkook didn’t lie when he said that you’ll be his in the next week

He made one phone call and whoever was on the end of the line planned a huge wedding in a week

You woke up one day and were forced into a white gown

Once you put the pieces together, you had a panic attack

You were getting married to this man you’ve only known for a week

You were being so uncooperative to the point where Jungkook had to come to you and set you straight

He quickly fucked you back into submission and made you get ready for your wedding

After your wedding, loads of fucking

You guys didn’t even show up to your reception party because Jungkook could not stop fucking you

And it continued like this for a very long time

You weren’t sure how you were still producing cum

Every morning, every night, sometimes in the middle of the day, he wants to have sex

It’s not like he’s slow or gentle either— he’s aggressive in bed, it’s tough to handle him

You usually end up passing out and even that doesn’t stop him

The next morning you wake up tired and sore however, he wakes up needy and wanting more

Sometimes he’ll fuck you hard enough to make you pass out right in the morning

Even when he comes back from a mission, he still has the energy to fuck you

You just don’t understand

For weeks, you can’t walk straight because of him

And it hurts to put any sort of pressure on your lower abdomen

Despite all of that, you still love him

After all the manipulation and brain washing he’s done to you, he’s convinced you that you’re in love with him

And that you won’t survive without him

You’ve been craving for love and attention for your whole life and Jungkook was finally giving some

Why would you want the person who makes you feel loved and appreciated gone from your life?

Jungkook used guilt tripping to make you stay with him

Not to mention, taking advantage of your toxic past

Stockholm syndrome ending for the win 🥇

Sorry for any mistakes!! Have a good day<3

[rosesvioletshardy]

overtime win celebrations - mat barzal

okay this is very unedited because i lowkey rushed it and i know it’s bad. also this is very bad smut because i haven’t written it in a while and i tried to read others and my old ones to get some inspiration and try to make it at least accurate in a way idk

also a very happy birthday mat today 

(isles win today or else i’ll fly to new york and 🔪) (jk ,,, unless)

this was requested by @gigissports​ who gave me the idea of this fic when i said i wanted to write a fic but didn’t know what to write about or who to write about so thank you to her and i hope you like it

(also idk what that title is it’s the first thing that came to my mind)

(ps y’all should also follow her as well she’s an amazing person)

masterlist

mat masterlist

warnings: mention of fights, SMUT (18+) (minors please don’t interact), fluff, little angst? (idk mat is a little upset so idk if that’d count as angst)

# of words: 1,941 (sorry it’s short i tried to make it somewhat longer but my brain decided to go into writer’s block so)

----

It was all going well, up until it wasn’t. You knew that playoff hockey got even more intense than the regular season and meant that more injuries were prone to happen. Mat told you the night the Islanders got clinched that he wouldn’t try to get into many fights anymore or get anymore penalty minutes seeing that he’s their star and that the top player shouldn’t have that many penalty minutes. He managed to not get into any fights or get any penalties the first 4 games. You would’ve gone to the game but you decided to stay at yours and Mat’s apartment to watch the game due to being busy earlier in the day and Mat was completely fine with however you wanted to watch the game. The only thing he did request before he left was that you wore one of his jerseys that he wasn’t going to be wearing for good luck. As soon as you came home from work it was the first thing you did and you sent a picture to him to show him. You knew he wouldn’t answer right away but you saw that he read it. 

The game was going smoothly up until the second period where the penguins were leading by 3. You knew that the team was frustrated by the way they looked as the camera panned over to the bench and that they were trying their hardest. Mat’s line was now playing and you felt as if they were going to score during that period. It wasn’t until moments after Anthony’s goal where a fight broke out and Mat got into the middle of it. You couldn’t tell what happened but you stood up on your feet and became really concerned. It wasn’t until you saw him walk towards the locker room with one of the medics before they showed the reply. The rest of the game you couldn’t focus on and only worried that something would happen even later into the game. Mat had said he was fine but you knew that he wasn’t from when they showed him. 

The only good thing to come out of the game was the double overtime win and you knew it was going to be a while before Mat got home. You hadn’t really had anything for dinner because of it and could only eat crackers because your mind was only worried for Mat and Mat only. It wasn’t long before you fell asleep seeing how late it was. Mat on the other hand was exhausted as well and it was just from playing almost 5 rounds of hockey. A sigh escaped his mouth when he reached the front door and took out his keys only to find you sleeping on the couch wearing his white jersey. He smiled at the site before dropping his bag and taking his shoes off before walking over to you and crouching down in front of you. Mat took a moment to analyze the details of your face before he started to caress your face and wake you up. Your eyes began to flutter open as you saw him crouched down to your height 

“Hey baby” he whispered as you sat up making room for him

“Hi maty, sorry you had to see me like this” you told as he sat down and pulled you into his chest

“It’s okay you deserve some rest.” he said trying to hide his eye

“Let me see, don’t hide it.”

“I didn’t want you to be mad”

“Why would I be mad?” you asked him confusion running across your face

“Because I promised to you that I wouldn't get into any fights or get any penalties during playoffs” he admitted

“I’m not mad, I was worried the entire time. It happens.” you affirmed him as you ran your fingers over the bruised eye lightly making sure that you didn’t hurt him. The two of you sat there in silence for a while taking in each other’s company before you both looked at each other and brought your lips together. You’ve been with Mat for over a year and a half and yet he still gave you butterflies every time you kissed. Straddling him, you continued to kiss as you ran your fingers through his hair.

Everything in that moment just felt perfect. Mat pulled away and stood up, picked you up and took you to yours and his room. After laying you down on the bed, he began to slowly push up his jersey while pressing small kisses along your jaw and down your neck, leaving marks, making you moan before pulling away to take the jersey off. His breath hitched when he saw the lingerie you had on underneath and smiled and you spoke up

“I was going to surprise you when you got home but i ended up falling asleep, so this isn’t exactly how I planned it” you told him sitting back up

“Well I’m still surprised don’t worry and you still look beautiful” he said before giving you another kiss and laying you back down after you took off his suit jacket, shirt and pants leaving him just in his underwear as you traced your fingers down his body

“I love you so much. Thank you for everything you do. From supporting me at home and away games to dealing with me and my antics” 

Mat unclipped you bra as he pressed light kisses over your collarbones as his hands roamed all over your body and stopping at your thighs, Pushing your legs apart, his fingers hooking onto your underwear before sliding them off and inserting two of them inside you. His eyes never left yours, curling his fingers more and while his thumb rubbed your clit, causing you to moan

“Maty, please” you let out

“In all time princess. It’s all about patience” he whispered in your ear before removing his fingers as soon as he felt you clenching. 

Removing his fingers, he brought them up to his mouth and sucked off your juices and sank down to his knees and kissed the soft skin of your thighs, feeling scruff from his playoff beard he was finally allowed to grow out. He wasted no time when it came to eating you out as he sucked back on your clit. One of his favorite sounds was hearing your moans and whimpers, as a smirk plastered onto his face, gripping your thighs tighter. You became more and more frustrated as you tugged on his hair wanting more. Pulling him closer onto you,  his hands grabbed your breasts making you gasp and moan his name more. He began to slowly lick your clit before starting to suck on it. You can feel him slowly pull away before going back and inserting his finger again

“Oh god. Oh fuck. Mat that feels so good. Please don’t stop”

“What do you need princess?”

“You. I need you.”  

“Fuck, maty i’m so close please” you told him as you could feel him humming against your clit, sending shivers down your spine. The familiar feeling began to coil in your stomach as you tugged on his hair harder and him licking you as his name left your lips, almost to the point where the neighbors would probably hear.

When he pulled away, he pressed a kiss against your lips, making you taste yourself. Mat leaned over to grab a condom from the nightstand next to the bed as you began to palm him through his boxers before pulling it down. You helped him roll the condom on him as he then lined himself in between you and grabbing your legs to hook against him

“You ready?” he asked looking into your eyes, making sure you’re still comfortable

“Yes” you told him as you curled your fingers at the bottom of his hair as he pressed his lips against yours while pushing himself inside you, groaning into his mouth.

His hips rolled with every thrust he gave, his lips leaving yours and pressing kisses along your jaw as he whispered in your ear as the occasional moan left his lips when you marked up his back or tugged his hair more. His hands gripped around your waist as he 

“I love you so much.”

“I love you so much too”

“Are you close?” he whispered pulling away from your neck “Mhm” you nodded as a whine left your left as he thrusted harder, 

“It’s okay, let go” he whispered in your ear as the both of you let go of your highs. Mat came out of you and fell on the bed next to you. The two of you stayed quiet as you both breathed heavily trying to catch your breaths.

“Well that was-”

“Yeah” he finished as he took the condom off and threw it in the trashcan when got up and went to the bathroom

When Mat came back, he started to clean you up with the damp towel, making sure that you were alright and that he didn’t hurt you. He took his time making sure to stop as soon as you started to feel uncomfortable or started to wince. You kept trying to fight off the sleepiness that was taking over so you had a chance to talk to Mat about everything he wanted just so he can get his mind over it. Your eyes were starting to slowly close once again until you felt the bed dip and Mat’s arm pull you so your head was on his chest

“What’s going on through that mind of yours?” you asked him knowing that he was thinking about the game again

“Just the game, the fight, how much my eye hurts” he laughs off but you can tell he’s still somewhat upset causing you to get up and face him

“Mathew, you did your best, and you’ll keep doing your best. I know you know this but you go close to a goal each period and in overtime. Yes, it’s not going well, but you need to have some faith in you. There’s still some positives that happened, you assisted a couple of goals from Tito and Scott, plus the game winning goal. Those are still something-” you told him before he cut you off

“Yeah but they’re not a goal you know? Everyone, from commentators to interviewers have been on my ass about not scoring and it’s frustrating to listen to and when it happens it gets blocked” mat exclaimed, as he ran his hand through is hair trying not to show his frustration

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news but that will happen and things will get better. Remember you were struggling towards the end of the regular season and then you got a goal straight out of the penalty box?”

“Yes but-”

“But nothing. You still have game 6 and I know that you guys will advance to the next round and you will get that goal that you want.” you finished as you now sit on his lap staring into his eyes and grabbing his hands

“Okay, mainly because I trust you and I love you.” he said as he gave you a small peck on the lips

“I love you”

“Now, do you still have enough energy for another round or are you tired?”

“I don’t know, I’m not the one who played 5 periods of hockey and got into a fight” you smirked as he flipped you onto your back

“Well then, you shouldn’t have said that missy” he whispered to you smirking as he went back down on you

[rafescoke]

Crime ; Part 3

masterlist

Part #3

Read the previous parts here:

Part #1, Part #2

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader

Summary: Maybe life just doesn’t go your way sometimes. 

Warnings: heavy writings on death! angst, just two people being in love but one of them is scared

A/N: ideas are inspired by @pogueslandia literally the sweetest <3

Maybe Rafe was overthinking it. 

He ran his fingers through her hair, his arms all wrapped up around her. The golden sunlight hit them squarely on the face, and the weather never looked so inviting. 

“Stop thinking,” he whispered, pulling her close. He placed a soft kiss on the crown of her head. 

She hummed, letting him caress her. The guilt was eating her away, and she hasn't felt good for a week now. 

5 more days until John B’s death sentence. 

And yet, here she was; all wrapped up with the boy she loved in the Bahamas. 

Rafe thought it would be ideal to bring her away from the chaos. Her parents thought it was a good thing too, with all of the commotion and rebellion by the pogues. It was her second day in the strange place, but even with all of the soothing sounds coming from the waves, she couldn’t forget about John B. 

Rafe sighed, “Is it about John B?” 

“No,” she quickly said. She bit her lips, blinking to stop her tears from crashing down. 

“I love you,” Rafe breathed. His fingers stayed on her stomach, and it was a pleasing sight to see; two people in love. If only one has never committed a murder.

(Y/N) pursed her lips, because she couldn’t utter the words back. She loved him, of course, but she was scared. It wasn’t like it was Rafe’s fault entirely; he gave her a chance to confess, but she didn’t. 

Love is truly a blinding bitch. 

. . .

“You guys came back early,” Ward said, helping them out with the bags. He turned to look at (Y/N), and then back to Rafe. He sighed. 

“What is it?” 

“She’s not feeling well,” Rafe mumbled. His eyes were tired, showing how they have been fighting since god knows when. (Y/N) didn’t look any well either, keeping to herself the whole time from their departure.

Ward made to grab his arms before he could follow (Y/N) into the house. “Control her.” 

“She’s not a dog,” he said through gritted teeth. He pulled his arms away, seething. 

“She’s going to tell on you.” 

“She won’t,” Rafe answered back, but he too, wasn’t sure. 

Because all of her actions were showing him otherwise. 

She wasn’t like (Y/N) he knew anymore, but he took it as her way to cope with the situation. 

“What is wrong with you?” Rafe finally asked. He plopped onto the bed beside her, his lips curling. 

“I’m just tired.” 

“All we did in the Bahamas was sleep,” he scoffed. “You can’t use that excuse, (Y/N), come on.” 

“Maybe if you actually try to understand me you’ll get it.” 

“What?” 

“Nothing,” she sighed. She laid her back against his bed and closed her eyes, letting the darkness take over. 

“So like what? You’re going to tell the cops, huh? Is that what you’re going to do?” 

“God, can you let me breathe? We’ve just had a long fucking flight.” Her eyes opened, feeling so exhausted from the overwhelming situation. She didn’t know what to do, but fighting with Rafe was definitely not on the list. 

“Whose fucking fault is that?” He mumbled before standing up. 

Rafe exited the room, wanting to get away from her as soon as possible. He could feel it. He could see what was going to happen. He thought of this exact moment, but he didn’t really want to act on it out of fear. 

He wasn’t sure if he would ever hurt her.

Sometimes he felt like doing it, but he just couldn’t. Everytime her eyes set on him, he felt like seeing her for the first time again. 

“Hey, I’m sorry.”

(Y/N) wrapped her arms around Rafe’s waist as he stood near the railing of the porch. The sun was setting in, and it would look so mesmerising; just them two, but the feeling was long gone. 

“It’s okay,” he whispered, and breathed into her scent. 

His girl. His. 

. . .

(Y/N) was sleeping right beside him. 

She looked so peaceful, her hair fixed to one side and her chest heaving slowly. 

He couldn’t help but place a soft kiss on her temple. 

She shifted, groaning slightly. 

Rafe panicked, “Shit, I’m so sorry, baby. Go back to sleep.” 

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” She grunted, shifting her position to face him. “It’s midnight.” 

“Can’t sleep.” 

(Y/N) sighed, and pulled him close to her. “Go to sleep.” 

He smiled, laying his head against her chest now, and he could feel her heart beating. 

A few minutes after, he felt her poking him. “You’re asleep yet?” 

“No.” 

“Wanna go swimming?” 

“Where?” 

“The beach.” 

Rafe smiled, “You’re not tired?” 

“Am tired. But you can’t sleep.” 

She guided him to the exit, her hair messy from her slumber before. The moonlight glowed from above, illuminating the pathway to the beach behind her home. 

They sat on the beach for a while, just staring into the never ending landscape, until Rafe pulled her close again. 

“I love you.” 

(Y/N) smiled. “I know.”

She couldn’t. She just couldn’t utter it back. 

He removed his shirt, revealing his toned figure, and pulled her up her feet. She giggled, removing her own tank top and shimmying out of her shorts. She was completely naked now, and allowed herself to be pulled into the water. 

Strange enough, the water was not too cold or too hot. Just perfect. It was like the night was made for them. 

She giggled when Rafe pulled her further into the darkness, and a sudden thought of a strange creature in the water occurred to her. 

She reached for Rafe, her eyes trying to see through the water even though it was nearly impossible. 

Rafe laughed, holding her tight. Her chest was all pushed up against him, and he had never looked at something more beautiful than her. 

“We’re gonna die.” 

“Probably,” he rolled his eyes. “Maybe there’s that dinosaur from Jurassic World down here.”

She hit Rafe from the sudden thought of a monster underneath her, and went to swim away. Rafe laughed again, pulling her quickly by her wrist and letting her lay against his chest again. 

“I’m kidding. I’ll kill a monster for you.” 

They stared at each other again, breathing in each other’s presence, and finally, he closed in the distance. 

She melted into the kiss, feeling so good she never wanted to let go of that boy. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close, and it was all so perfect; 

Like something out of a book. 

“You’re perfect,” he whispered. He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, admiring her eyes, and placed another soft kiss. “So, so perfect.” 

(Y/N) smiled, always loving this side of Rafe. The side she knew before he. . .

She made to move away, but Rafe grabbed her again. He sighed, “What is it?” 

“I have to go,” she mumbled, and swam towards the beach. Rafe pulled her again, still so unsatisfied, because the moment was perfect, right?

They were kissing, he was telling her that he loved her. 

What else could he do? 

“What did I do?”

“Rafe, just let go,” she said, and pried her hands away. 

This time, he let her go. 

. . . 

Rafe thought it was finally time to make it right again. 

His relationship was getting rockier, and he intended for a smooth ride again. He straightened the dark blue suit he got from Chapel Hill, eyeing his watch from time to time. 

“Hey,” (Y/N) smiled, brushing her fingertips along his face. 

The gazebo was set exactly like the first time they met; all bright with fairy lights and smelled of floral candles. Her breath hitched at the sudden memory of that night. 

“You don’t have to do this,” she said. 

“I want to,” Rafe shrugged, helping her to her seat. He brushed her hair for good measure before going back to his seat. “You’re okay?”

She shifted uncomfortably, “Yeah.” 

They ate in silence. The only sound came from the clanking of the cutleries and the plate, and the constant sipping of the wine. 

Okay. Maybe what she did was wrong. 

But he’ll get out of it, right? 

He got money, the best lawyer in the states, and a high position. 

They wouldn’t put him through the death sentence.

Right? 

“I think it’s time,” Rafe said suddenly. (Y/N) looked up from her plate, her heart thumping wildly. Her eyes scanned the lake, and back to him. 

Rafe walked towards her, his mouth forming a bright smile. He reached for his pocket, pulling out a white box-

No. This couldn’t be.

(Y/N) won’t accept this. 

She simply just won’t. 

They’re too young. 

Too afraid. 

“No,” she said, scraping her chair to the back. “No, Rafe.” 

Rafe’s smile disappeared, his eyes turning low. “What?”

“No. I, I- I won’t accept it.” 

The diamond ring glimmered under the lantern, and (Y/N) noticed something similar from it. 

Her breath hitched.

Of course it would be the same promise ring she threw at him last year. Except it was updated. 

“It’s my mom’s ring,” he took a step closer. “What’s wrong? Don’t you want this?” 

More than anything. 

Her chest heaved, and she quickly put her hands up before him, as if protecting herself. “Rafe, I can’t. I’m so sorry.” 

He took a step closer, because god, he was so, so confused. He loved her more than anything in the world; more than himself. 

He was unsure about a lot of things, but not this. 

“Rafe,” she warned, still putting her hands up. “Please? I’m sorry.” 

“I don’t understand?” He whispered. His eyes were now filled with tears, and (Y/N) used all of her energy to stay away from him. 

For her own good. 

“I just can’t.” 

She stole a glance at his watch. She glanced at the lake again, her heart beating wildly. 

“Did I do something wrong?” 

“No,” she said. His forehead creased, and the tears were now completely wetting his suit. The ring was still left untouched in the box, still glimmering in the hope to be wrapped around someone’s finger. 

“Is it because-” he whispered. “Is it because of JJ? Did I do something wrong?”

“Rafe, stop,” she shook her head. “It’s not anyone’s fault. Let it go.” 

He took a deep breath. The box closed with a snap, and Rafe kept it back securely in his pocket. He held his head, walking away from her, muttering curses incoherently. 

“We can still be together.” 

“Fuck off,” he laughed. He pressed his back against one of the railings, closing his eyes and admitting to the darkness. His head felt light, and his fingers were trembling. 

“Rafe-” she walked towards him, placing a hand against his cheeks. He leaned into her, feeling her warmth, and didn’t try to stop the tears from falling. “I’m sorry, okay?” 

It was like falling down from a cliff; too fast, and everything happened in just a blink of an eye. 

Lights were coming from all directions, hitting them squarely on the face. Rafe protected his eyes from the red and blue lights, groaning, all the while searching for (Y/N). 

But she wasn’t there. 

“What the fuck?” He said to no one in particular, looking around wildly. Whatever the reason was, the police were coming to him; straight and fast. He knew he didn’t have time to reach for his car, not without (Y/N). 

“We’re not going to hurt you, son,” a voice bellowed from the lake. Rafe tried to see the figure, but the light was too blinding. “We’re going to make it fast and easy.” 

“What did I do?” He said, still trying to keep his cool, but it was failing miserably.

Anyone could see that Rafe Cameron was scared. 

Maybe it was the rejection from earlier. He didn’t know. What he was sure of was; he wanted to get away. 

The gazebo was guarded by the police now, and (Y/N) was nowhere to be seen. He sighed, taking a seat on her chair and grabbing the wine bottle. He downed the content, his heart beating wildly and his forehead clammy. 

It’s time. 

. . .

He had never felt this painful before. 

His head was throbbing, and his chest was soaring with agony in all the right places. He trembled as he sat up straight, trying to clear off his blurriness. 

It failed miserably when he reached for the toilet bowl, emptying his already empty stomach for the third time today. Rafe was sure 98% of the vomit was his bile, and he wished for nothing more than death. 

Everyone does this to him.

Every. Single. Person. 

Ward tried helping him, hiring the best lawyer in the United States of America, but the chances for him to be freed were low. So, so low. 

They told him that he did multiple offenses in one go.

He couldn’t name any of it, and he has accepted his fate anyways. He didn’t see the point in living when the girl he loved was no longer there in the light. 

His memory was fading really fast, and everything that happened around him seemed like a dream. He wanted to reach reality, but he wouldn’t allow himself. 

“Cameron, you got a visitor.” 

“Tell Ward that I’m okay with getting killed.” 

“It’s not your papa, boy,” the police sighed. “It’s a girl.” 

His head perked up at ‘girl’. Maybe it was Wheezie, coming to see how fucked up her brother is. He bit his lips, stopping the incoming tears from the thought of Wheezie alone. 

He followed the officer down the jail, his eyes scanning the other cellmates. Some jeered at him, knowing him as the ‘rich boy who never got himself into jail because of money’, and loving the fact that Rafe Cameron was finally getting the treatment he deserved. 

Rafe sat in the empty room, his eyes staring at the bent part of the metal table. He remembered this room clearly; the room he was forced into questioning and had seen him cry until there were no tears left to cry. 

He waited a few more seconds, only hearing some noisy sounds coming from the old air conditioning. 

“Okay, thank you.” 

His head turned to behind him, hearing her voice so clearly now that his heart was soaring again. He watched as she entered the small room, not looking at him, and placed herself before him. 

“Hi, Rafe.” 

Rafe stared at her, not saying anything. His thumbs were fiddling with each other under the handcuffs, and his legs were shaking wildly. 

He had missed her more than anything in the world. 

She looked so much healthier; her hair was up in a ponytail, and her cheeks were rosy and bright. 

She didn’t look miserable like him. 

“How are you?” 

What a stupid question. 

“What do you think?” He asked, tilting his head to one side. “Are you my therapist, or something? Did Ward hire some kind of a prison therapist to help me stay positive until the day I’m hanged?” 

She sucked in a breath. “Rafe, I’m trying to help you.” 

“Congra-tu-fucking-lations,” he smiled. “I’m getting the death sentence. Would you care to watch me getting hanged tomorrow? It'll be like seeing me play volleyball on the beach like last time.” 

Oh god.

She didn’t know.

How could she? 

They told her that everything will be alright, that he will be released after paying a large sum of money. It would be unfair to the sheriff, but at least no one is getting killed at the end of the day. 

How could she be so fucking naive? 

“I didn’t know.” 

He laughed, “It’s okay. Would you come and see me though? It’ll be a damn pleasure.” 

“Rafe, stop,” she said, clutching onto the table. “You’re not getting hanged, okay? I’m sorry. I’ll get you out of this.” 

He softened, finally realizing what he had been saying. He sighed, still fiddling with his thumb, and looked at her again. “There’s nothing else left to do. We did everything.” 

“No, no, I can fix this-”

“(Y/N),” he sighed. He placed his cuffed hands on the table, asking for hers, and she gladly accepted them. She bit her lips, failing to stop her tears now that she felt him around her again. 

Her sweet, sweet boy. 

“It’s okay,” he said. “I accepted it. It’s my fault. There’s nothing you can do.”

There was a knock on the door, and (Y/N) jerked slightly from the sudden commotion.

3 more minutes. 

“It doesn’t have to be this way.” 

“There’s no other way,” he whispered. “But you will always be my love, okay?” 

She held him in her fingers now, caressing his face. She ran his fingers over the new scratches on his face a few times, soothing the pain down, and placed a soft, longing kiss on his lips. 

He kissed her back, feeling better slightly, and only pulled away when the second knock rang throughout the room. 

“Yes, by the way.” 

“What?” He asked, confused. His eyes were teary because god, he wished he could do better for her. 

For them. 

“Yes to marrying you.” 

He laughed. What a stupid thing to say a day before his death sentence. But he loved it. More than anything else in the world. He softened, “I don’t have the ring.” 

She guided his hands, sliding an imaginary ring over her ring finger, and she examined it admiringly under the white light. 

“Thank you,” he said. 

It was brief; their moment of happiness, but it was enough for Rafe. He couldn’t think of anything better than this, knowing that the love of his life had accepted to be with him.

(Y/N) pulled him in for another kiss as the last knock blared, and they stayed in that position after the door was opened, revealing the same officer who had brought her in. She gave (Y/N) a warm pat on the back, allowing her to give Rafe another long, last kiss. 

He could still taste her when she walked out, her eyes all wet now, her mouth whimpering. 

He put a hand up, waved it slightly to the right, his own eyes glassy. 

“I love you,” he mouthed. 

. . . 

Rafe didn’t know what to expect the next morning. 

He watched many crime documentaries and movies involving a death penalty before, but he never truly put his mind on what he would be feeling on the walk to the inviting creature called death. 

After (Y/N), Ward came to see him. They didn’t say much, only exchanging a few words of “how are you?” And “I’m okay”. But it was clear Ward Cameron was broken at the sight of his son. 

He failed as a father. 

He wished he could’ve been a better father to Rafe, because god, he loved him too much. He even thought of admitting to the crime, but the crime was too strong on Rafe’s side. 

He gave his one and only son a last, longing hug. They held each other in complete silence, just feeling the moment until an officer came, pulling Rafe away. 

He didn’t even get to say I love you. 

“You’re okay?” 

Rafe looked at whoever was responsible to kill him beside him, and nodded. “Yep.” 

He looked down at his white suit and sighed. “Can I wear something proper?” 

The man pushed him into the room, annoyed at his impulsive words. 

This boy just killed a goddamn sheriff, and he was still joking? 

“Rot in hell,” he told Rafe, to which he accepted the remark willingly. 

The executioner motioned for him to step on the tool, and Rafe thought about the simpler times in his childhood where he was told to stand on a stool in middle school by a teacher for kicking on a boy who touched Sarah on her newly washed hair. 

He couldn’t even remember the last time he saw her. 

The executioner, blinded by the black cloth around his head, looped the rope around his neck, and Rafe involuntarily swallowed his saliva. 

He looked down at his fingers, imagining his wedding ring. He smiled, looking up to the ceiling, watching as the white light blinded his eyes. 

Maybe in another life. 

-

@okayshoto @joselyn001 @onceuponateenagetrash @dyingsleeping @iwannabeapogue @meaganjm @rafesobxs @flossy2929 @unfortunatekiwitrash @scottybitch @asimpwriter @amaya124 @tommy-tommo @thatshithurted8 @fallincindy @marvelwhor3 @rafeswh0ree @kookap @supernaturallydc-blog @blank-velvet @alaniskauany @kiiim8 @witchywrter @kaitlyn2907 @heyimflo @overcookedpastasause @tsukkiswifeey @spidey-d00d @anonymousobxfan @gotmeinloveagain @chicagoblackhawkslover96 @lexi-writes @classydragonthingknight @belongtoyou-u @badbussylol @savannah-elliott @angelreyesgirl100 @haterpenny @beehappyyy @alwaysclassyeagle @maybankslut @kayleea122 @clearbolts @lovelyxtom @christianaevans @jemimah-b99 @opierdalacz @dangerdolns @wildflowerliv @classygirlything21 @pogueslandia

[minahoeshi]

you were loved the most of all.

Ushijima Wakatoshi x reader | break-up angst

summary: You should've known that when Ushijima Wakatoshi found it easy to fall in love with you, it might be even easier for him to fall out of it. But who expects the worst when it comes to loving someone as seemingly perfect as him, anyway?

Chapter 1 of 2

Chapter 2 of 2

He said it was easy to fall in love with you. He said he didn’t know when exactly, at which place, nor for what reason. Simply one day, Ushijima Wakatoshi found himself looking at you with the epiphany that maybe there’s something more meant to happen between you and him. There you stood before him that day, the person he could promise love to. (And there he stood before you that moment, the boy whose promises you found yourself believing in no matter what.)

So maybe that’s why it was even easier for him to fall out of love. When he told you he was no longer in love with you, it didn’t matter to you to ask when exactly, at which place, or for what reason. Even the universe itself is meant to fizzle out one day along with the death of the stars. Just one more person drifting away from you like a lone planet with no real orbit shouldn’t leave you broken. You are used to this. You won’t fall apart.

But you break anyway.

It was snowing outside when he decided to tell you to end things now before it hurts both of you even further. Not that the snow has anything to do with the coldness creeping up your chest threatening to spill out of you in endless sobs. You were glad, though. That at the very least, he remained honest with his feelings. He never left you guessing. Every time, he never forgets to tell you what’s on his mind. His honesty is something he thought was necessary.

“I understand, don’t worry. Thank you for telling me right away. I know you’re also considering me–” you tell him and choke up. There are tears running down your face but you’re not worried about that. Wakatoshi never let you mask your emotions around him. For the longest time, he reminded you to feel free to be completely bare with him. All the good and the bad, he said. Don’t be afraid to show them to me. I will always understand.

He steps closer and puts you between his arms. You feel his chin on top of your head as you lean your face into his chest. You’re sobbing now. “I’ll be fine, Toshi. We’ll be fine.”

He kisses the top of your head and lets you stay in his arms for minutes. “I loved you then, and I love you still. It’s just that they’re no longer the same kind. I will stay if you ask me to, okay? Anything you want.”

This only makes you cry harder. He’s always been too good. And even in breaking your heart, he’s too good. You want him to hold on. You want to ask him to stay with you for years and years. Even with a different kind of love, you’ll let him be as long he’s close by. But someone like him who has dreams beyond yourself shouldn’t ever be with someone like you who still lacks certainty toward anything.

“Just for tonight,” you ask, still crying. “Can I stay?”

“of course,” he replies. Anytime you want. Anything you want. It has always been this way.

Because humans are creatures of routines and familiarity, you spend that night the way you usually do when you’re at his place. You cook dinner with him and eat on the dining table, sharing stories and laughter. You keep adding food to his plate and he smiles as you giggle at everything you find funny.

It’s okay, it’s okay. You’ll be okay. You’ll be fine.

You clean the kitchen and stay in the living room. He leans on the couch as you lay down with your head on his lap. You keep talking and laughing. He goes along, sometimes adding things to make you laugh even more, sometimes simply agreeing, sometimes asking questions. You keep it loud and light, afraid of the silence. Inside you, it’s so heavy, your heart might just fall off. This will be the last, you tell yourself. You want to be happy for now. While he’s still here.

"Do me a favor, okay?" You tell him as you're nearing slumber. "Let me leave first tomorrow. Maybe stay in bed, maybe pretend you're asleep. But tomorrow, don't get out of the room until I've left the house." Your voice shakes, feeling yourself wanting to sob.

"I don't want to wake up to another empty bed but I don't want to see your face when I wake up too," you curl into him even further. "I'm sorry for being selfish. I'm sorry I still don't really know what to do. And I know you wake up pretty early and you know, do stuff, but just for tomorrow, please?"

Wakatoshi didn't really understand why. He originally planned on cooking breakfast for you and taking you to the train station. He would watch you board the train and he'd make sure to smile at you as he waves. You always waved back. That's how it works. Even after fights, and even after especially bad nights, you'd still do the same. Watching you leave with a smile was how you both knew you'd still be fine the days after. That nothing much can affect your relationship. For years, this has been the routine.

But tomorrow, he knows he has to give way. He knows what he said hurt you. It would be wrong of him to do what he wants simply because he's used to.

Tomorrow's the last, he realises. And then if you want, he'd never see you again.

--

You wake up pretty early. The sky is a calm shade of blue, the world outside still waking up. You check the time on your phone and find it's 6 AM. Last night, you slept with your back on him. The sight before you is the other end of his bedroom and you notice just how much of yourself you've managed to leave around his place. Pieces of just one other person in his life, scattered in places around his world pretending that’s just where they belong. You didn't mind leaving things behind back then. You never really thought of the day that you might’ve to take back all of them. Just how does one pick up parts of themselves when they thought they’ve finally found a place for them to stay?

But as you stand up, you conclude that when things end, traces shouldn’t be left behind. He didn’t decide to break up only to be reminded of you even after you’re no longer close to him. So you go and pick every little thing that's yours. Even your jacket and sweaters and a few pairs pyjamas in his closet. You'll just take his things from your place too and hand it to Tendou's shop. Coming back here won’t do you any good. Him coming to your place instead wouldn’t either.

Collecting all your things, even the ones you can't use anymore, you leave the bedroom and enter the living room. You don't have many belongings here aside from some DVDs and books. You only take the books and leave the rest for him. You've always preferred reading anyway.

Setting your bag and things aside on the sofa, you go ahead and wash yourself in the bathroom and bring your toothbrush and some other products with you when you're done. You then head to the kitchen to cook him something light to eat for breakfast . You knew you didn't have to. He knows how to cook. It has always been him cooking breakfast for you. When you could, you’d rather stay in bed until the very moment you must start preparing to go to uni or work. But you did anyway. He's probably in his bed, awake. He has never been a heavy sleeper. With all the moving you did around his room, he was bound to wake up if he wasn't already.

You make him a simple omelette and write a small message on top of it with ketchup. "Good luck with practice today!"

You've already cleaned everything you used, preferring to wash and set utensils as soon as you're done with them. That way, when you're sitting down to eat, there won't be any cluster around to distract you.

You put the ketchup down and decide that should be enough. You'll stop here. You should go now.

Ushijima is sitting on his bed. He's been awake since 5 AM when he usually goes on his run. It isn't the first time he chose to stay with you instead of going out, but he can't help but feel heavy this time. He stayed in for you. But as the minutes pass by, it seems that he simply cannot find the courage to sit up and face you.

He wants to sink into his bed.

There's knock on the door followed by sentences uttered softly. "Toshi, I'm going now. There's breakfast on the table. Make sure to eat before you go."

There goes the heavy feeling again. Maybe if this keeps up, he might just actually sink and never get back up.

You've done that a few times. Leaving while he's still in the room. You don't even open the door. You simply knock and tell him you're about to go, always reminding him to eat before he goes too.

But this will be the last, he thinks. If you leave now, will he never see you again?

a/n

chapter 2 will be up soon not rly sure when tho. (it's up now the link is at the top)

also, im not entirely sure but i think i didnt use any pronouns or gendered nouns for this except "girl" in the 1st paragraph which i erased just now? if i'm right, then i hope everyone reading this get to feel as though theyre rly the person in the story. unless ofc u dont want that bc this isnt the happiest ushitoshi x reader fic u can find🥲. but thanks for reading!!!! m so sorry for typos nd other errors as well. i kinda cant read my own writings bc sometimes doing so makes me wanna smack myself in the head and never write again nd i hate that so now im leaving my mistakes to the gods nd hope they love me enough or smth. but yes thank u sm again for reading!!!!

[allthatyoulove]

The Perfect Spot

Fred Weasley / Reader

Summary: You get to stay an extra night at Hogwarts with no supervision. So what do you do? Play hide and seek, of course!

Includes: underage drinking, cussing, fluff, making out

Words: 3.8k

A/N: I’m thinking of doing a part two to this, let me know if that’s something you guys would like! Hope you enjoy the story! Feel free to leave any feedback and please let me know of any warnings or errors I missed! Thanks for stopping by :)

---

Tonight’s the night.

All of the professors and staff of Hogwarts have gone to some motel in Hogsmeade, leaving the 5th through 7th years in the school by themselves for the night. It’s tradition for the 5th-7th years to stay the night in the school without supervision after school ends for the summer.

It’s a new tradition, so we were going to make the most of it before some kids ruin the school and it gets disbanded.

Fred and George snuck in a bunch of alcohol, spreading it around the group and trying to keep it lowkey so none of the other kids snitched or, even worse, wanted us to share.

We were all in the corner of the long corridor that the students decided to sleep in for the night. It was exactly like the dining hall, but there were no tables or stage. The windows were the only source of light as the sun began to set. We weren’t sure what time it was, only being able to go off of the moon from inside the corridor, but either way, most of the group was already plastered.

We were sitting in a circle, in the farthest corner of the room, in this order from right to left: Harry, Ron, Hermione, Me, Fred, George, and Ginny. We each had our own pillows behind us, intending for us to all sleep with our feet in the middle and in this circle formation we had created. There was one huge blanket in the middle covering all of us that George had engorgio-d so no one would fight over it.

We were lightly drinking the bottles the twins had brought at the beginning of the night, then Ginny said she had an idea but we all had to be drunk for it to be fun. So we picked up the pace, and now almost everyone was hysterical. Harry and Ron were extremely smiley, laughing at almost everything. Hermione was almost in tears, telling everyone how much she loved and appreciated them. The twins were making jokes, making everyone piss their pants over what they were saying. Ginny was being the loudest, trying to playfully argue with everyone through her laughter. Everyone was feeding off of each other's energy, which made a circle of laughing and whisper-yelling.

“-and then 50 bloody spiders the size of Hagrid started chasing after us!” Ron finished.

“Ron there were like 3 spiders, mate” Harry said, bursting out into laughter. The rest of the group clutched their stomachs in laughter while Ron’s face turned red, soon laughing along with us.

Tears started to leave my eyes from how hard I was laughing at Ron’s attempt to sound brave in front of Hermione. We all knew he was deathly afraid of spiders, so it made it all the more funny.

I was coming down from how hard I was laughing, wiping my eyes when I felt a hand brush the side of my thigh. I looked to my left, at Fred, to see his eyes on George, who was making a comment to Ron about him being a coward. The knuckles of his hand were brushing the outside of my thigh underneath the blanket.

My entire body heated up, the voices of the people around me being tuned out as I focused on his touch.

I have had a crush on Fred since I first came to hogwarts, but in the past year he has flirted with me more than ever before, touching me whenever he gets the chance whether its his knee against mine when we sit next to each other or putting his arm around me while walking through the campus. I’ve noticed it, but didn’t want to get my hopes up or read the situation wrong and make it weird between us.

But with his hand going from brushing my thigh to resting his hand on it, I don’t think it could be read wrong. His hand sat on top of my thigh, with his fingers resting on the inside, lightly moving it back and forth.

He continued to pay attention to the rest of the group, who were engaged heavily in another conversation, darting his gaze to different people and even adding in some things himself. My eyes followed whoever was talking as well, but I couldn’t hear anything they were saying. I was too focused on the way Fred’s hand slowly got closer and closer to the apex of my thighs.

“Okay, listen up you lot. I think we’ve had enough to drink, which means it’s time to share my master plan.”

My eyes shot to Ginny, being snapped out of my trance at the sound of her yelling over the laughter.

The rest of the group followed, immediately snapping out of their laughter to listen and leaning in as if she was going to tell us a secret.

“I was thinking, what if we played…”

She waited a second, as if a drumroll was playing in the background to announce her idea.

“Hide and seek.”

The entire group gasped in shock, frantically looking around at each other and agreeing with how good of an idea it is. Ginny looked proud, nodding her head in confidence as everyone got excited.

“Should we have everyone else play? I think the more people, the better.” Harry said, looking around the group for their opinions.

“Yeah I think if we had a small group of seekers and the res’ were hiders, that’d be better. We could split it evenly so we switch after all the hider’s hv’been found.” I said, getting an adrenaline boost at how fun it was going to be. There were 429 students in the 5th-7th years, but most of them weren’t convinced to stay another day after school had gotten out. So, there were about 150 students in the hall right now that would be playing. It was going to be a good game.

Everyone nodded and agreed in confirmation to what I said, and Ginny got up to yell out the directions and rules to everyone else in the hall.

We all got up, trying to gain our balance after drinking on the floor for so long and giggling when Ron almost pulled George down with him after he started to fall over. We brushed off our pajamas, hiding the bottles underneath the blanket while Ginny was giving her speech.

“Alright I think everyone’s got it. You guys can pick which team you’re on, I think they’re already splitting themselves into groups over there.” Ginny said, coming back to the group as the rest of the corridor broke out into loud conversation. George was the first to speak up.

“I’ll be a seeker with Harry and Ron. You all can be the hiders because you lot can’t even see straight”

Hermione giggled, clutching onto Ginny to stay balanced as Ginny spoke up, pointing at George.

“You’re on, Georgie. I may not be able to see straight, but…”

We waited for her to finish, as she stood there with her finger pointed at him. It was quiet in the group for a couple of seconds before everyone burst into another fit of laughter.

“Let’s just get the game started” Ginny said, turning red and turning around slowly so she didn’t fall over.

We started walking out of the corridor, following the rest of the large group of students that were headed that way as well. Everyone had grabbed their wands to use as light in finding our way around the huge castle.

Fred caught up to me, grabbing my elbow that was holding my wand to get my attention. He leaned down and whispered in my ear, careful to hide what he was saying from the others.

“Have any ideas on where to hide?”

His breath on my ear made me feel fuzzy inside, whether that was magnified by the alcohol or not, and I smiled up at him, knowing that I looked absolutely plastered.

“No clue. What’re you thinking Freddie?”

He smiled his mischievous smile and pointed with his head towards the doors we were about to walk through, leading to the hallway.

“I’ve got the perfect spot. I’ll show you.” He said, rather seductively.

My stomach fluttered as I smiled down at my feet. He rested his hand at the small of my back as we walked through the huge doors together, shuffling into the hallway with the group of kids. They were making a huge half-circle around what we could now see was Ginny, the hallway being lit up by the lanterns hanging on the wall.

“Anything outside of the castle is off limits. No Forbidden Forest or going out to Hagrid’s hut, because no one will find you and the castle is plenty big for everyone to hide. No magic cloaks or spells to see any footprints. The seekers will give you 5 minutes to find a hiding place, so make it good.”

Everyone was quiet, listening to Ginny give surprisingly good and clear instructions with how drunk she seemed to be 2 minutes ago. She was a good leader.

“Those are the only rules. So, let’s do this!”

Everyone gave a quick cheer combined with claps and talk of where they were going to hide. Some kids started to run away right away, squealing in excitement and rushing to get to their hiding places.

Fred, Ginny, Hermione, and I joined with the rest of the group while we waited for the other hiders to clear out.

“You are going down, mr. chosen one!” Ginny yelled at Harry, linking her arms with Hermione and walking off towards the stairs.

Harry blushed a little and laughed, turning in towards Ron and George, who looked like they were already coming up with a plan for attack.

Fred and I looked to each other, smirking. The alcohol definitely did nothing but amplify my attraction towards him. Seeing him in the dim light with his hair slightly ruffled, in a black shirt and plaid pajama pants while I’m drunk was definitely… sinking in. He towered over me and had his arms crossed over his chest, looking down at me with a smirk. If I’m being honest, one word from this man and I would jump into his arms. I had all night to gawk at him, and the low conversation from the people behind us reminded me that the timer was going down and we already spent a good minute just staring at each other.

“So where’s this place you had in mind, Weasley?”

“I thought you’d never ask” he said, grabbing my hand and turning to go down the hall opposite Ginny and Hermione.

We walked until the first turn, turning left and going down another long hallway before coming before a staircase.

“Just up here” He said, guiding me up the flights of stairs.

He broke into a light jog up the stairs and I struggled to keep up, trying to keep my balance. He had taken the same amount of shots I did, but he was also a giant so I’m sure it had less of an effect on him.

We reached the top of the stairs, and Fred looked all around him at the three different hallways in search of something.

“Y’know where you’re going, Fred?”

“Yeah, of course, umm….”

He looked around once more before settling on the hallway to his left, which looked like a last minute decision.

“It’s this way, trust me” He pulled my arm forward so I was now in front of him, wrapping his arm across my back and settling his hand on my waist, using his hand to hold me in place in front of him. I kept walking until he turned me, stopping us in front of a door.

“Go on, open it.”

I reached out and opened the door. It was pitch black inside, and before I could protest against going in, he ushered me inside the small space and closed the door behind us.

“Fred-”

“Lumos.” He whispered. The tip of his wand instantly lit up, brightening up the small room as I looked up at him. He smirked down at me, his gaze wandering over my face.

“Was this your plan all along, Weasley? Get me alone in a dark room?” I flirted, smirking at him as I stood on my tippy toes to look at him closer.

He faked a shocked gasp, “How’d you know, you little minx?”

I smiled at him as I settled back down on my feet, starting to fall back a bit before Fred’s hand instantly shot out to grab me and hold me in place. I didn’t register it in time, instead looking around the space we were in.

The light that Fred’s wand was supplying was rather dim, but perfect for showing the contents of the room.

Filch’s office.

There were a few dressers pressed against the wall, with a desk and chair in the middle. There were small artifacts around the room, but nothing that caught my eye. I gazed over the room, but it was all just a blurry mess to me. I turned back around to Fred, seeing that his eyes never wandered from me. I smiled up at him, looking at his lips and just waiting.

“You’re so beautiful” He said, cupping my cheek with his hand that wasn’t holding his wand.

“Not so bad yourself, Freddie” I said, leaning in.

He smiled at me, meeting me in the middle and pressing his lips to mine. I closed my eyes and leaned as much as I could into the kiss, hearing the faint sound of his back being pressed to the door. I held onto his elbows, deepening the kiss. He leaned his head forward, making me lean back. I stumbled backwards a little, and one hand left my face to wrap around my waist, bringing me in closer to him.

I softly moaned into the kiss, causing him to tighten his hold on me and lift me up completely with the arm around my waist, turning us around so I was against the door. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and both of his hands went to the bottom of my thighs to hold me in place. I heard the faint noise of a student yelling, signalling that they had started to look for everyone now.

Fred pulled away, kissing my neck instead as my hands went to his hair.

“Fred, they’re looking for us now” I said, out of breath, warning him in case he forgot that we were in a game of hide and seek, like I had.

“Mmm” he mumbled into my neck. I could feel him leaving hickeys that I would have to make up an excuse for later. I couldn’t grasp that this was happening, teetering on the line between euphoric and giddy on what I was feeling, what I was doing.

I had waited for this for so long, I couldn’t do anything but feed off his adrenaline and excitement in this moment and meet it with my same feelings.

He picked me up and pulled me away from the door, lifting his head to give me a quick peck on the lips before we were moving. My arms wrapped around his head right away, feeling the room spinning from how drunk and turned on I was right now.

His hand shot to rest across my back, resting on my shoulder as he walked over to the desk in the middle of the room. He sat me down on it, standing in between my legs. It was completely dark in the room again, Fred’s wand being the only thing turned off during this whole interaction.

He reached over and clicked on the lamp that was on the desk, both him and I turning slightly as our eyes adjusted to the dim light that filled the room. I opened my eyes slightly, turning back towards him as he did the same.

He smiled a big smile at me, nodding as if assuring to himself that this was actually happening.

“Wicked.” He breathed out, still smiling from ear to ear.

I let out a breathy laugh, pulling him in by his neck for another quick peck. He pulled away slightly and rested his forehead on mine, looking at me.

“You’ve no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

“Oh don’t be daft Freddie, you’re drunk” I giggled at him.

His expression turned moderately serious right away, scaring me that I had said something wrong or ruined the vibe.

“I’m being serious, you git” He joked, smiling at me and pinching my side.

“Ow- okay, okay! I believe you! It took you long enough to show it” I said, smiling back at him.

“Whaddya mean it took me long enough? I just figured out you liked me 2 minutes ago!”

“Who’s the git now? I’ve liked you ever since I came to this bloody school” I said, leaning up slightly to kiss his cheek and smile at him.

He looked at me incredulously, freezing in place.

“You’ve liked me that long? And never said anything?”

“Well, no… I didn’t want to make anything weird if y’didn’t feel the same way”

“You’re insane” is all he said before grabbing my face and leaning in to kiss me again. I smiled into the kiss and pulled the cord to the lamp again, turning it off.

This kiss was even more heated than the last, both of our hands roaming each other's body. My hands were going from his hair to his face, his going from my face all the way down to my waist, groping and pulling whenever he could. He tasted like cherry and alcohol, and I was getting drunk all over again, this time on him.

He pulled away once again, trailing his kisses from my neck down to my chest, exploring it with his tongue.

All at once, I heard 2 or 3 people’s footsteps running from the stairway down the hallway, towards the direction of the room we were in.

“Fred, fred” I whispered, nudging his shoulder to get his attention.

“Hmm?” He hummed, slowing his actions but continuing to place kisses on my collarbones.

“There's people coming this way” I said, using the hand I had in his hair to lightly tug on it, pulling his face up to meet mine.

He pulled out his wand, aiming it at the door.

“Colloportus” he whispered, making a gesture at it before I heard the lock of the door locking into place softly.

I fake-gasped at him before whispering, “You’re cheating!”

“I’ll make it worth your while, darling” He said, smiling, kissing me before bringing his attention back to my chest.

My hand went into his hair as I gasped out his name, encouraging him.

His hand barely dipped into my pajama pants, messing with the band but never going any further. I was ignoring the footsteps of the people outside at this point, not caring about the game.

“Fred, please” I begged, trying to hint at what I wanted from him.

His fingers dipped just below the fabric when suddenly someone from the outside of the door grabbed at and shook the handle.

“Hey! Someone locked the door!”

I grabbed onto Fred’s shoulders, craning my head to look over at the light underneath the door. He did the same, immediately moving his hands around my waist as if they could burst into the room at any minute. We both sat there looking at the shadow underneath the door as they shook the handle a couple more times before stopping. We froze for a second, waiting for something else to happen before we heard them run off.

He turned to me, and my eyes had started to adjust to the dark enough so I could see him looking at me with his lips swollen and his eyes dazed. His hair was ruffled, and he looked more drunk now than he did before we came into the room at all. He looked beautiful.

We both burst into laughter at the same time, burying our faces into each other's necks. I pulled away, pulling his face up to meet mine and fixing his hair as he looked at me with admiration.

“We better get out of here before someone gets your sister and it gets awkward” I said, looking into his eyes.

He huffed in irritation, dropping his face to my shoulder. We stayed like that for a minute as I ran my hands idly down his back, enjoying his presence. I didn’t want to wait too long, though, and have to walk out with hickeys on my neck to a group of more than 100 students.

He must have read my mind, because he straightened and stood up before backing up a step and holding his hand out to help me down from the desk. I took it, doing a little hop off of the desk as I took a second to regain my balance and brush off my pajamas. I took my wand out, casting “Lumos” to look around and make sure we left everything as we found it.

“You’ve got a little something there” Fred said, pointing at my neck.

I looked at him in confusion, following his eyes to brush my neck before I saw him break into a smile and realized what he meant.

“How am I supposed to explain that, bloke? You better hope it’s dark out there!”

He just laughed as I finished my scanning of the room and came to the conclusion that it looked as we found it.

I scanned Fred really quick, letting out a quick laugh before speaking.

“I think you’ve got a little situation too, Freddie”

He raised an eyebrow and followed my eyes down, before shooting his eyes back up at me and using his hands to cover where I was looking.

“Alright, very funny.” He said, suddenly uncomfortable with the way he was standing.

“Aww it’s okay Fred, it’s totally normal”

He turned red, motioning at the door with his head.

“Yeah, yeah, let’s get out of here”

I laughed and turned towards the door, hearing the sound of him messing with his trousers as soon as my back was to him. I turned off the light at the end of my wand, unlocking and opening the door slightly, peeking out and scanning the hallway. It was still dimly lit, with no one in sight.

I beckoned Fred over with my hand as I slowly snuck out into the hallway. He followed me, softly shutting the door behind me. I stood up straight, looking at him as he scanned the hallway as well.

“I guess we better go get found then, yeah?”

“Let’s do it” I smiled at him as he grabbed my hand, intertwining them. We started down the hall and got to the top of the stairs before Ginny and Hermione came around the corner.

“Ha! Gotcha! Finally, we found you! The whole team of seekers were looking for you guys, you were the last ones!”

I laughed as Fred turned to look at me, our eyes meeting.

“I told you I had the perfect spot”

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

All Men Have Limits - XI

Character: Dick Grayson x Reader x Bruce Wayne

Summary: A certain bat believes that Y/N is in way over her head, that she’s too naive to act in her best interest. So, whether she wants it or not, the vigilante family is going to help and protect her before she gets herself killed.

Word Count: 3,700+

Warnings: Mentions of past abuse

Previously on…

How did she let this happen?

Y/N had tried to push her short-lived romance with Bruce Wayne out of her mind for two years. And the moment she sees him again, for the first time since, it all went to hell. 

Why did she let him have her so easily? 

Why was he so hard to fight? 

His presence was difficult to ignore. And when he acted on their mutual feelings, Y/N knew she’d do just about anything for him.

But could two stubborn, emotionally distant, and nearly impossible people make it work?

But then Dick…Dick Grayson. 

Whenever Y/N thought of him, a warmth spread through her chest. He wasn’t scared of her. Instead of trying to break down her walls, he patiently waited for her to open a side door for him. He was patient and kind. Though he adopted Bruce’s flirtatious and charming ways, it was backed by substance in a way Bruce never bothered to follow up with.

Both men loved her differently.

But that didn’t mean one loved her more than the other either. 

–––––––––––

When Y/N reached the bottom of the cave, she found Dick training.

He was shirtless with a pair of shorts on, lifting himself up on the still rings.

She allowed herself to watch him for a moment. 

It was unreal the amount of strength he held to be able to move the way he was. He had clearly been modest when she asked if he could go to the olympics. 

Dick’s skin was shining, drenched in sweat.

How long had he been working out?

What she didn’t know was that Dick had been at it for hours, trying to work out his frustrations by making himself physically exhausted.

Finally Dick landed by doing an aerial dismount that consisted of so many twists and flips that Y/N just blinked in amazement. 

“Come to get your equipment?” Dick asked without looking at her. 

He was out of breath and clearly tired as he rubbed his face with a towel.

“Yeah,” she answered. “Jason’s bringing one of his cars to help me pack it up.”

She didn’t want to inconvenience anyone else in the family further. But she couldn’t exactly hire a TaskRabbit to help her pack up thousands of dollars worth of hacking equipment and ask them to drop it off at one of her many safe houses.

Plus, Jason owed her after the scene he cased at that infamous family dinner, and she made sure to tell him so.

Dick scoffed a bit. “So, you and Jason hang out now?”

Y/N smirked. “We started a club. We��re calling it The Club for the Parentally Abused and Recently Resurrected.”

Dick could help but let a smile slip.

“But I also came to talk to you.”

He walked past her now, and still hadn’t even looked at her since she arrived.

“You don’t owe me any explanation, Y/N. I got the message loud and clear.”

Y/N took in a deep breath. This was going to be hard. But she had to do it.

“When I was five years old, I left my stuffed animal at the park. I wouldn’t stop crying on the drive home. My parents started screaming at me to be quiet. Eventually they gave up, pulled over, and kicked me out of the car. It was 5 miles back to the apartment and it was 30 degrees out. Luckily, I knew my way home."

The story made Dick’s eyes snap up and he finally looked at her. And when he did, his expression was filled with rage and sympathy – rage towards her parents, but sympathy for Y/N. She should’ve never had to deal with such abuse.

Y/N shrugged. “And that’s one of the better moments.”

Dick took a step towards her. “Y/N…”

Her eyes were glued to the ground as she continued. “To this day, I jump anytime someone drops something. I can’t watch sports because the sound of men yelling causes panic attacks.” 

Then she finally found the courage to meet his gaze. 

“When I meet men, in my eyes, they’re all my father until they prove otherwise. And the reason I’m always waiting for the floor to drop out from underneath me... is because it always has.”

Dick waited. 

Y/N knew he was silently telling her he understood.

A couple tears managed to slip down her face, but she quickly wiped them away.

“Bruce was the first person I ever shared my past with. And now…now you’re the second.”

Dick still didn’t know what to say to her.

“I’m so sorry for hurting you, Dick. That was never ever my intention.”

Dick sighed, “I know.”

And he did. He did know.

Dick took in a deep breath, “I spent a big part of my life trying to stop myself from turning into him. I became terrified by the idea. I started disagreeing with his methods. He stopped looking like the perfect man to me. Eventually, I left Gotham because of it all.”

He shook his head in disappointment. “But I’m realizing those are the same things that make him the man that you love.”

His hand moved through his hair. “Now I’m starting to wonder…what if the only things you like about me is just everything that he made me be?”

Y/N couldn’t listen to any more of it. She couldn’t keep standing there and hear him tear himself down and compare himself to the man he had idolized for most of his life. Even if he saw Bruce as just human now, the man was still somewhat of a father figure to him.

“No,” she immediately stepped to Dick and clutched his face.

On instinct alone, he put his hands on top of hers, scared she’d stop touching him too quickly.

“Dick, listen to me. That’s not true. None of that’s true.”

“Don’t just tell me what you think I want to hear,” he begged.

“I’m not. I promise I’m not.”

Y/N took in a shaky breath.

By telling Dick what he needed to hear, Y/N was also exposing herself. It was scary for her. Talking to Dick about their complicated relationship was like speaking a different language compared to the way she used to communicate with Bruce. And she could admit that communication was often no communication at all.

“The things I love about you have nothing to do with Bruce,” her words were unafraid and sincere.

Dick blinked at the word ‘love.’

“You wear your heart on your sleeve, Dick. And I know you’re sometimes ashamed of it, because you’ve been convinced that you shouldn’t do that. But it’s…it’s so… different.”

She laughed lightly at herself, “Different than what I’m used to. Different than what I’ve ever expected from men.”

“I always know what’s going on in that heart of yours,” she continued. “There’s no guessing with you. I never doubt your feelings. Because you don’t hide anything.”

Y/N figured out what she was really trying to get at.

“Because you’re not scared.” She paused. “You’re not scared to love me, even when you think you don’t have a chance.”

“Do I have a chance?” He whispered.

Y/N finally dropped her hands from his face and stepped away from him. “I can’t – Dick, I can’t get between you two.”

He chuckled darkly. “It’s a little late for that.”

Y/N hid her face in her hands in desperation. “Please, don’t say that to me. Please.”

“He’s in love with you, too.” Dick declared.

“Dick, stop!”

“No, I won’t.” He snapped back. “Bruce is in love with you, Y/N. And you can’t keep lying and convincing yourself that he’s not.”

“It’s not that simple!”

But she could tell he was growing frustrated with her.

“Then tell me why you love him,” Dick surprised her by asking. “I need to know. I need to know why, because that’s the only way I’m going to be able to let you go.”

Y/N’s lips trembled as her eyes filled with tears again. She shook her head, “Please don’t make me.”

But when she looked up, his gaze was pleading.

So Y/N closed her eyes, the pressure of it made more tears escape and slide down her cheeks. She took in a deep breath, desperate for it to calm her down enough to even speak.

“That first night me and him shared...I hadn’t slept that soundly in years. And it was because I felt...safe. He’s always made me feel safe, like nothing could ever happen to me.” She shook her head and her eyes glazed over as she remembered the past. “I know I asked for this life. I’m always on the edge of being in danger, and I always have to be on the move. But it just felt like...like I could finally breathe.”

She gave Dick a sad smile. “And it’s been the same since I got here. I was just too stubborn to admit it.”

Then she shook her head. “I’m so tired of being scared. And I’m so tired of convincing myself that I don’t deserve to be loved.”

“Y/N,” Dick whispered her name as if he was begging. He moved to her and clutched her face and bowed until their foreheads touched. “I can keep you safe, too. I promise. I always will.”

“I know. Because you’re the only reason I’m alive right now.”  

“I love you, Y/N.” He murmured as if it was his most treasured secret. 

But they had both known that for awhile. 

“And I know you love Bruce…but I think you love me, too.”

Y/N hesitated before she whispered, “I do love you.”

Dick didn’t even try to stop himself from kissing her.

He pulled her hips to his, refusing to allow any space between their bodies. Her lips were wet with tears, but he didn’t care. This kiss needed to tell her everything he felt. This was his final statement. If his words couldn’t convince her, then maybe he could make her feel it all.

Jason Todd’s timing was like the rapture. 

His car screeched to a stop on the platform below them.

Except Dick didn’t give a damn if his brother saw them. He barely let Y/N pull away, but still tried to brush her tears away with his thumb as it grazed her cheek.

“Sorry to interrupt,” Jason yelled up with a cheeky grin.

Y/N still shifted out of Dick’s embrace.

To both the men’s surprise, she didn’t glare down at Jason.

“Come on. I’ll help you get all this into his truck,” Dick told her softly.

Their moment had ended.

And Dick couldn’t help but believe that he’d lost her.

———

Jason helped Y/N carry all her equipment in the storage unit she had directed him to.

The young man had the same strength as three professional movers and she was taking full advantage of it.

“Don’t you want all this crap with you?” Jason asked when he finally moved the final piece inside.

Y/N pulled down the garage door, slamming it closed, and activated multiple locks before facing him.

“Nope.”

Jason eyed her suspiciously. “Don’t tell me The Court traumatized you into retiring…”

“Of course not. But I am taking a break.”

He nodded, accepting the answer.

“Where to next?” He asked while nodding towards his truck.

“You don’t have to give me a ride. I think I want to walk.”

“Hell no. Bruce and Dick would kill me if I let you do that.”

Y/N rolled her eyes and slowly opened her jacket to show that she had one of her guns hidden away.

“You taught me well.”

Jason sighed heavily, “You wanna be alone. I get it.”

“Thank you for your help, Jason.”

He just shrugged, “I owed you.”

Y/N nodded and shoved her hands into the pockets of her jacket.

“You know what you’re doing?” Jason asked.

“Not really,” she admitted.

To her surprise, Jason's face was sympathetic. “Look, I know I give you a lot of shit. And none of it’s my business.”

He scratched the back of his neck.

“They both love you. OK? And I know they both go about showing it in completely different ways. But that’s just how they are. We’re all a fuckin’ mess.”

“I know,” Y/N mumbled as she looked at the ground, shoulders slumped.

“But I know what it’s like to be beaten down by life. So I just want to make sure you remember that you deserve it.”

“Deserve what?” Y/N asked, confused.

“To be loved.” Then his eyes turned the most serious she’d ever seen, and he pointed to her sternly. “Don’t let what happened in the past make you think otherwise.”

Jason already hated how preachy he sounded, so he gave a final nod and walked to the driver’s side of the truck.  

“Jason!” She called out.

He paused before he got into the driver’s seat.

“The same goes for you.” She smiled. “Remember, we’re in a club now.”

He smirked before giving her a final salute, and driving away.

———

Walking back to her safe house was therapeutic for Y/N.

Yeah, there were worse places than Wayne Manor to be kept on house arrest. But Y/N also couldn’t remember the last time she went on a walk like this. It did wonders to clear her head.

Though she was still paranoid and made sure to remain aware of her surroundings. And she probably looked over her shoulder too frequently to appear natural. But after everything she’d been through, her life still didn’t feel safe.

So, imagine Y/N’s panic when she walked into her safe house and immediately knew someone had been there.

She immediately pulled out her gun and started to do a perimeter check.

However, her panic slowly subsided when she saw a note on the kitchen counter.

Next to the note was what appeared to be a tracking device. Not as sophisticated as anything Y/N could make. But it was still rather advanced.

She walked closer to read it and instantly recognized Bruce’s handwriting.

“We had a deal,” was all he’d written.

When Y/N turned on the tracker, she quickly noted that the coordinates it gave matched the location of Wayne Manor.

A sad smile spread across her lips at the blinking light.

This was a strange way of expressing affection and trust, but that was Bruce.

There had been a part of her that didn’t believe Bruce Wayne would ever allow someone to always know where he was. But then again, he always found a way to surprise her.

Y/N looked around at her apartment.

It was cold and unwelcoming. The purpose was to provide a safe location and remain isolated. It was never meant to become a home – none of her safe houses were. Without her equipment humming, it felt even quieter than usual – unsettling even.

One thing was sure to Y/N…she couldn’t live this way anymore.

–––––––––––

Dick was fixing up his motorcycle in the garage at the manor.

He was planning on driving it across the country and wanted to make sure it was in good ship before he put that kind of mileage on it.

His attention shifted away from it when his phone lit up and vibrated from a message.

To Dick’s surprise, he read Jason’s name.

“You should talk to her. I think she’s really going through it right now,” was all his younger brother texted.

Dick sighed in frustration and tossed his phone away a little too roughly.

He rubbed his face. 

He’d been suffering from a headache every day since he last saw Y/N. 

Maybe it was his punishment for submitting so easily.

Dick stood up from kneeling next to his motorcycle.

No, he wasn’t going to talk to Y/N.

But he was going to talk to Bruce.

While Dick had been distracting himself with his upcoming escape back to the Titans, Bruce drowned himself in new cases. He’d extended his patrolling hours so long that he barely had time to sleep and eat. Half the time, he didn’t even bring Damian along with him. 

Dick knew he would find Bruce in the cave, seeing as he hadn’t left it in days.

Bruce didn’t turn away from his research even though he heard Dick’s entrance.

But that didn’t slow Dick down as he marched to him.

“Are you really going to do this?” Dick shot.

He didn’t need to elaborate, they both knew what he was talking about.  

“We’re not having this discussion,” Bruce tried to shut it down without even looking at him.

“Nope. That’s not going to work anymore.” Dick reached out and pressed a button, turning all of the screens blank. “We’re talking about this whether you want to or not!” Dick snapped.

Bruce was clearly irritated. Not only did he finally acknowledge Dick and meet his gaze, but he also stood from the chair and sized him up.

Dick’s jaw clenched before he began. “I know you’d protect her with your life. But are you going to protect her from Bruce Wayne?”

The question was brutal, but necessary.

Dick wasn’t holding back any longer.

“Because we didn’t have any choice. We changed our expectations and adapted. But Y/N? She shouldn’t have to do that. So you’re either all in or you need to let go.”

The ‘we’ was Dick and his brothers, but Bruce didn’t need him to clarify.

Dick never had any intention of being cruel. But he had to be blunt with Bruce. And Dick wasn’t going to watch as he put Y/N through what he and his brothers had to in the past. 

She would bend and fold herself for Bruce, lowering her expectations and latching onto what little he gave her, putting it all on a pedestal and giving it more meaning than it deserved.

“If you promise to actually commit to someone for the first time in your life and put them before Batman, I’ll walk away. I’ll do it for you. And I’ll do it for her.” The fire in his eyes was blazing. “But I can’t sit back and watch as you treat her like shit. She deserves better than that. And you know it.”

There wasn’t a single lie in what Dick said. 

Over the years, Dick was always the most frustrated with Bruce’s lack of emotional competence. Jason was angry at Bruce for far more than just that. Tim didn’t seem to have many thoughts on it. And Damian didn’t see it as a problem, which was an entirely different issue.

But if it weren’t for Dick, Bruce would be far worse – even though that seemed rather impossible.

“Do you love her?” Bruce asked Dick.

He blinked at the question, taken off guard by how intimate it felt coming from Bruce.

“Yes,” Dick answered, leaving no room for doubt.

“Why?”

“What do you mean why?” Dick glared at him.

But Dick still jumped right into it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Y/N is one of the smartest people I’ve ever met in my life. She makes me laugh – even when I know her sarcasm and humor are hiding darkness. She’s selfless – more selfless than all of us. And she cares about everyone, even when they don’t deserve it. She dedicated her life to helping people and, until recently, she was fine doing it all by herself. ”

Bruce couldn’t help but smirk darkly at Dick’s list and crossed his arms, “You forgot to mention how beautiful she is.”

“Yeah. Well… anyone with eyes knows that,” Dick rumbled.

Bruce was quiet, clearly deep in thought.

What was going on in that head of his?

“She left Gotham,” Bruce finally stated.

Dick’s eyes widened. “Left?”

“Yesterday.”

“Yesterday? So...what? You don’t know where she is or you’re not going after her?” Dick snapped.

“I know where she is.”

Dick’s face dropped. “You’re not going after her,” he muttered in disbelief.

Bruce didn’t have to say anything to confirm Dick’s suspicions.

“You’re an asshole and a fool, Bruce.”

“I’m doing the best thing for her,” he countered.

“That’s what you think. But how will she feel?” Dick shook his head in disgust. “But you never ask yourself those questions, do you, Bruce? You never consider other people’s feelings.”

“I promised to always put Gotham first, Dick.”

“Oh, come on, Bruce!” Dick groaned. “You made that promise – what? – 20 years ago? Don’t try to tell me that things haven’t change.”

“You think she wants to stay in this mansion by herself, wondering if I’m going to come back alive?” Bruce finally fought back. “You think she deserves a man who will always put her second?”

“Then don’t, Bruce! Don’t put her second! She chose you! Don’t make her regret it!”

But Dick had enough and he also wanted the final word.

So with that, he stormed out of the cave, leaving Bruce alone again.

Dick was about to go to his room and finish packing up his things to leave when Alfred called his name.

“This arrived for you,” Alfred informed him politely as he offered him an envelope.

Dick’s heart beat faster as he grabbed the letter, somehow already knowing it was from Y/N.

He ripped it open without hesitation, not bothering to wait for the privacy of his room to read it.

Dick,

We both know I’m absolute shit at opening up. But I am hoping that maybe writing it all down will be easier. I figured it’s worth a try. 

I’m sorry for the way things happened. I hope you believe me when I say that I never meant to hurt the two of you.

It recently occurred to me that I haven’t experienced much of life.

I went from living in an abusive household, to living on the streets, to using all of my energy trying to bring down the corrupt. I’ve spent so much of my life either running or fighting that I realized I don’t actually know how to just simply…live.  

So...

By the time you get this, I will have left Gotham. I think it’s about time I stop running and start learning who I am when I stand still. 

I don’t expect you to forgive me for pushing and pulling you.

But I hope you believe me when I say I love you. I really do, Dick Grayson. 

And the truth is, you scared the shit out of me. But I also know you deserve someone more than just me. And the idea of you realizing that at any moment, only to leave me, was too heartbreaking to face.

I hope this isn’t goodbye forever. 

“When did this arrive?” Dick asked almost panicked.

“Just this morning, Master Dick.” Alfred answered.

“Thanks, Alfred.”

He took a few steps toward the stairs before Alfred called out, “Master Dick?”

“Yeah?”

“It feels rather important to emphasize that there was only one letter…”

Dick’s gaze flickered to where the cave entrance was, the place they both knew where Bruce was currently hiding. 

Then he looked back to Alfred, showing that he understood what he was trying to silently tell him.

Y/N didn’t write a letter to Bruce.

-------------------------------------

Part 12 – The End

I’m sorry to tell you that there is only one more part after this. 

So please please please let me know what you think. Write me a book report. Write me a novel. 

A/N: The scene between Bruce and Dick was inspired by two things:

This conversation from the comics. 

And this scene from Sabrina. Obviously this is a much more comical take, but I’ve seen this movie probably 100 times and it holds a similar meaning to this story. 

[twinklelilstarkey]

Good Girl [HC] - Part 2

Words: 1.4k+

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol consumption. Rafe is a protective mess. Kinda Rafe vs JJ.  

  DO NOT REPOST, REWRITE OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORK!

Part 1

Your first date would start with a simple dinner out;

And end with a small walk on the beach;

Rafe would hold your hand as you two would walk silently through the empty beach that circled the island;

And not even with a complete second date, you two would start dating;

Your relationship, right off the bat, would be sooo envied by everyone in your school;

Like, you two are absolute perfection;

The island’s good girl and the island’s bad boy?

Now that’s movie worthy;

As your relationship evolved, the love you two share grew insanely;

You two would have everyday activities that were done so many times that became routines;

Rafe would always pick you up to go to school and to go home;

You two would hang out every afternoon together;

His nights would usually be reserved for his boys;

Who, by the way, love you like a sister;

Whenever Rafe couldn’t go to school, for any reason, they would hang out with you the whole day so you wouldn’t be alone;

Even though you still had your other friends;

Have lunch with you in the cafeteria or even take you out to lunch;

Those boys would always make sure you’re happy;

Once your relationship with Rafe reached a few months, he was finally able to take you to a party;

And you hate that he was able to do it;

Your parents were shocked when you asked them to go to a party at a Friday night;

And since it’s so rare, they let you go;

Rafe would pick you up and take you to the kook’s house that would end up trashed at the end of the night;

Whoever was sober enough was in shock when they saw you in there;

Like, 5 whole minutes of staring at you in shock;

Rafe would have his arm over your shoulders the whole time;

And it took you a while to actually start enjoying the party;

Since the first few minutes were filled with seeing people grinding on each other and smoking into other’s faces;

Topper would be the one grabbing drinks for everyone and he even got you one;

Rafe was the one that actually talked your way into taking a small sip to finally try alcohol;

Topper was nice enough to get you a sweet drink but the after taste of the alcoholic drink made you cringe at Rafe;

He laughed with you the whole night;

Even more when you decided to ignore the aftertaste and just enjoy the drink;

Bad way to find that you’re a light weight in your first time;

But even though it was hilarious to him, he still took care of you;

You had a good time;

You danced with some girls that you met through Topper and they also were one of the reasons why it was so much fun;

A lot of friendships started that night;

And as it got later, you started running out of energy;

Leaning onto Rafe’s chest as he talked to his friend, his hand running through your back in a comforting way;

You had to admit, it was hard not to fall asleep right there;

Rafe didn’t take you home that night since he didn’t want to make you do the silent walk of shame through the house that would surely end up in your parents waking up;

So he took you to his;

The headache on the next day wasn’t as fun;

For you at least;

Rafe finally understood why you would laugh when he was suffering in the mornings;

After that night you started going to parties more frequently;

You would still, sometimes, stay home to finish homework or just to watch a show;

But Rafe’s friends started to ask him many times when were you going to come party with them again, so that was one of the reasons why you went a second, a third and a tenth time to a party with them;

Your parents were slightly worried in the beginning but since they trusted Rafe, it was easier for them to see you walk out of the house on a Friday night;

The only night Rafe didn’t have as much fun was in a party between the Cut and Figure Eight, where the two rivals of the island joined in for a beach party;

He still doesn’t know why the party still happens on a monthly basis, since it’s just a simple, and sometimes boring, bonfire party that would always end with fights;

Quite hypocritical of Rafe, since he would usually be involved in them (when you weren’t with him);

And he disliked it more on your first time in one of these parties;

He had decided to stay (mostly) sober for the night, just in case something would go down;

You hanged out with his group most of the night, but as soon as you started talking to Kiara Carrera, Rafe tensed up;

The Pogues had no idea who you were when Kie brought you to their group, including who you were dating, since they don’t go to the Kook Academy;

And even though Kiara does go to that school, she never cared enough to check who the popular kids were dating;

So yes, this is just the perfect opportunity for all to turn shit;

“Hey Rafe, where’s Y/N?”

As soon as that girl would ask him that, as he talked to Topper, Rafe woke up to reality to notice that you weren’t meters away from him anymore;

He looked around the party to find you talking to Kiara and... JJ;

He was pissed;

But Kelce stopped him before he could go attack the pogues and snatch you away;

So, he offered to do the extraction;

Rafe stayed back as his best friend walked past the huge bonfire and kicked sand on his way to you;

If anything were to go south, Rafe, and, now also, Topper would be right there to run in;

“Hey, Y/N!” Kelce called out as he was close enough, making you end the conversation and look at your boyfriend’s friend;

“What could you want from her, Kelce?” JJ asked back;

You obviously didn’t feel the tense air building up, but everyone else from the group surely did;

As the two boys would bicker, you sipped your drink calmly and stayed lost in your thoughts;

“Rafe is looking for you, Y/N. Let’s go” Kelce would say, almost pleading;

Oh oh

That annoyed the crap out of the Pogues;

“Does he own her or something?” and “Last time I checked she’s free to be wherever she wants to be!” were just examples of what Kelce got as answers;

As soon as the tense atmosphere was more evident, Topper walked past Rafe and walked over there to try and help out his friend to not start a fight;

Leaving an annoyed and a overthinking Rafe with himself;

“Wow, does Rafe want to call any more reinforcements to get a girl?” JJ would bicker, making John B laugh at him;

“If she’s not leaving, it might mean that she doesn’t want to go hang out with your little leader, guys. Go annoy some other girl” Kie would add;

Pope would honestly just stand back and watch everything silently with you;

As they bickered the minutes away, you pat your pockets for your phone and you can’t find it;

Alcohol already affecting your mind enough to not acknowledge the argument in front of you, as well as why they’re arguing, you take a step back from the commotion;

“Wow, you guys really know how to scare a girl away” Kie would say to the Kook boys;

Both Topper and Kelce haven’t been able to say anything that would explain why they needed you to go back to the Kook’s side (example A: Rafe’s dating you), but it’s not like they didn’t try;

JJ would honestly not let them talk;

Same thing with Kie;

“Y/N, can we please go?” Topper would ask you, ignoring the girl beside him;

“Yeah, I don’t know where my phone is” You would murmur over the commotion;

“He has it!” Kelce would yell over JJ’s voice;

Everyone quiets down and you look over to the other side of the party to find Rafe glaring towards you;

You frown at him and walk away from everyone, drunkenly stumbling in the air as you made your way towards your boyfriend;

As he extends his hand towards you, you take it and lean in close to his body;

And that shocked everyone from the Pogue’s group;

Topper and Kelce would look at them in annoyance almost as if they would trying to say “We were trying to tell you this” with just their eyes;

JJ and Rafe share glares as his friends walk back to their side;

And as Rafe throws his arm over your shoulder to pull you in closer to his chest, JJ clenches his jaw and looks away;

Rafe, now satisfied, plants a kiss over your forehead and rests his chin on top of your head as you snuggle close to him;

This will be fun to explain to you in the morning.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Oh, I’m a sucker for rivalry between Rafe and JJ. Don’t judge me. 

(You can request more BadGuy!Rafe vs JJ moments if you would like to see that) Or just ask for more Good Girl x Bad boy.

Ask box