#playing with danger?
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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 3 months ago
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hero/villain showdown but one of them has a spontaneous medical emergency and the battle gets put on hold while their archnemesis drives them to Urgent Care
#it should be like. a hernia. or diverticulitis#something intestinal for maximum Awkward Scenario#and the entire car ride alternates between awkward silence and the driver lecturing their nemesis on the importance of regular check-ups#this is funnier if the hero is the one having the hernia tbh. but both options are Very Good#want to emphasize that it is a 'medical emergency ' that is clearly not extreme enough for the emergency room#and the sidekick/henchperson gets stuck in traffic so the hero/villain stays for moral support#they spend 8 hours in the waiting room playing Uno (it devolves into a screaming match)#at the end of the ordeal one of them vows to burn the hospital to the ground with their laser eye powers#and it's Not The One You Think#oh oh oh! ALTERNATIVELY:#it's an allergic reaction; one of them accidentally poisoned the other by using like. soybean derivative in a tranquilizer dart#emphasis on *accidentally*. yes they were technically fighting but That Wasn't Supposed To Happen#so now they're obligated to take responsibility and Stay In The Waiting Room#(can't decide if it's funnier if it's the hero or the villain stuck in this situation)#(probably the villain)#“why didn't you TELL me you were allergic to soybeans???”#“um because you would use it against me in combat?”#“as opposed to NOT telling me! which has worked out fantastic for you!!!”#villain being genuinely offended bc they have a biochemistry degree and have invented literally dozens of untraceable poisons#they have the scientific skill to poison their favorite jackass in hundreds of ways#(and have done so before! in admittedly non-fatal outcomes but that was by design okay)#but it's “dangerous” to do them the simple curtesy of informing them about a SOY ALLERGY????#above all else they consider themself a scientist#and they're LIVID that their favorite (reluctant) test subject lied about their medical history#“technically i didn't LIE--#“I read you the questionnaire! the very first time i held u hostage i READ YOU THE QUESTIONNAIRE!!!”#“...the what now”#“the MEDI--holy shit you weren't even paying attention were you#i had you bound and gagged over an ACTUAL BUBBLING ACID PIT and you couldn't even be bothered to--#“--so i was obviously a bit BUSY at that moment! I'm sorry i ignored your VILLAINOUS MONOLOGUING while the BLOOD WAS RUSHING TO MY HEAD but
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heavendollie · 3 months ago
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batfamhastwitter · 9 months ago
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Part 34! Alfred let Tim leave the poster up for a day before he makes him take it down
Prev ~ Beginning ~ Next
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lovelyymeq · 10 months ago
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Its the daddy issues in me I swear
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greencaprisun · 3 months ago
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(kids faces are blurred for privacy)
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justarandomart · 3 months ago
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uppies
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sunlit-mess · 1 year ago
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love you just a little too much
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cookiedough77 · 3 months ago
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luka can actually hear the background music the show puts for certain scenes so he knows the situation based on the music
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roundclowns · 29 days ago
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I also have this doodle. psppsppss sapphics come get yall food
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ratwire · 2 months ago
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vendettaisafriendofmine · 3 months ago
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“Oh, let me tell you 'bout the sad man”
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s4tvrnspeaks · 21 days ago
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Girl do you like him or do you hate him?!?!?!?
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batcavescolony · 2 months ago
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🚨SOTR🚨
Haymitch: oh look bunnies- WAIT NO I'm supposed to be a rascal.
Haymitch: rascal rascal rascal, Lou Lou please get back here! I have an important task for you. Hold these rocks. Let me peal you an egg... Ok take mine
Haymitch: Ampert is coming, should I make him a snack.... Damit NO RASCAL!
He's trying SO hard but sadly his default mode is 'mom friend', and at any given time he has at least one kid trailing after him like a little chick. He can't help it guys!
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choccy-milky · 10 months ago
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bloody beater seb🥴💞
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lucabyte · 1 year ago
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siffrin starts the game with oddly empty pockets for a rogue who has a habit of stashing away every little trinket that isn't nailed down
and a hardy pocketwatch is an indispensable tool for oceanic navigation
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Say no to this, Bruce.
A few days ago Bruce had a fight with his sons, now he doesn't even remember why, it was probably something stupid that escalated and he didn't know how to stop it, it was probably his fault.
He was alone at the mansion, Damian was at Dick's house, Jason was ignoring him more than usual and Tim was on a case where he didn't want help, not from him at least, even Duke was away, it wasn't a good week for Bruce.
He grabbed a phone he had hidden and only took out before going to sleep alone in his room, hesitated for a few seconds and sent a message to the only number added.
His "thing" with the boy, Danny Fenton, had started four years ago, the boy was lost and Bruce found him when he coincidentally went for a walk as a civilian.
Danny was so charmed by Bruce (for some reason) that he gave him his hotel room number to keep talking about the universe, and later his home number.
Danny was a good, funny and witty kid, a very smart too, with parents who didn't deserve him because they didn't notice their son's brilliance.
Danny was a good boy with a not-so-good life, a strong, independent boy who wasn't always positive but didn't always let himself fall apart.
That's why when Danny answered his message with a call with him crying and asking for help, he could only go to his rescue without looking back, barely remembering to tell Alfred of his departure.
When he arrived he found only tragedy.
His family and friends had died, an explosion at an unfortunate time, Danny had no one in the world besides his godfather and Bruce, and he didn't want to fall into Vlad's clutches, so he was desperate.
He also told him about Phantom, and Bruce could only hug him and promise him that no one was going to find him.
The first thing that came to his mind was to take him to his mansion, Danny was like his son, it was the most logical action... except that Danny still looked up to him and trusted him a lot, and wasn't that a scary thought?
Bringing Danny to the mansion would involve many things, Danny would meet his children, which might make Danny see him differently, goodbye to his admiration and affection, goodbye to spending time "together" watching bad movies to criticize them, goodbye to quiet conversations and asking for advice, goodbye to trust.
Bringing Danny to the mansion would mean having him physically close but keeping him away in every other possible way.
"Danny doesn't want anyone else to know about Phantom." Bruce repeated to himself as he took Danny to a small, hidden apartment in Gotham, a cozy little place where Vlad wouldn't find Danny (and neither would Bruce's family).
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