#playing in first person is not for me but im so used to it so third person minecraft feels so weird :(
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[Front donation page]
Currently €22,271 / €40,000 as of January 21, 2025
LINK to post with all Updates as of January 21, 2025
I am physiotherapist Ahmed Khalil Al-Habil
from palestine _Gaza
I have been displaced from my home since the first day of the war,and I have been displaced more than 20 times since the beginning of the war.
With:
My father Khalil Al-Habil (68year)
My mother naima Al-Habil(64 year)
My wife maha Al-Habil(30/year)
My kid jowan Al-Habil(6year)
My Kid khalil Al-Habil (4year)
I lost my job, I lost my home, and we are living the worst days of our lives in displacement
We took refuge in Al-Shifa Hospital and were forcibly displaced to the south, claiming that we would go to the safe area and then to Al-Anwara schools to escape the barbaric bombing, but we were not spared.
My father was injured as a result of a nearby bombing, and his pelvis was broken. He has not had an operation to this day, and as a result of lying down continuously, ulcers appeared on his back and feet, and his right foot is threatened with amputation because he is a diabetic.
Now we are living the worst days of our lives in the tents, where the bitter cold that we experienced in the winter and now the summer heat that almost melts our bodies. After all this, there is no clean water to drink and there is no sufficient food, so we are threatened with starvation. Also, there are no appropriate medicines, so skin diseases have spread on my children’s bodies, and so my father’s foot has become inflamed and is threatened with amputation.
My eldest child, Joan, was sick and suffering from an esophageal reflux. Thank God, half a year before the war began, she began to recover and return to her health, and now her condition has begun to worsen Due to lack of good water and food.
We need this funding so that we can live on a daily basis and I can provide water, food, and medicine for my family of 6 people (me, my wife, my father, my mother, and two children). Also,
Im using this Fund to help me and family to evacuate to Eygpt. By travel agency called (Ya Hala) arabic name is (يا هلا) . And its cost Five thousand dollars per person and Half the amount is for the children just to cross the border to Eygpt
.I will be receiving the fund of my gofundme from my cousin from belgium via western union and banking transfer
later after the crossings open.
We have nothing left...we have lost everything
My hope to you is to help me and my family Our relief and help my children to obtain their right to play, learn and have a safe environment without destruction and killing.
I will be waiting for your support and help !
[Updates will be in a reblog]
6-year-old Joan Al-Habil is has been repeatedly hospitalized due to severe gastrointestinal problems and overwhelming fatigue. This poor girl has been to multiple facilities and seen multiple doctors, undergone extensive testing (as extensive as is possible in Gaza's collapsed medical system), even having to endure an unsedated endoscopy.
She has now been diagnosed with severe gastritis due to starvation and hazardous living conditions. Remember, she and her family are living on the streets, which are cold and wet due to winter rain. Homelessness, stress, exposure to the elements, her previous injury when the lOF firebombed her tent, and malnutrition all conspire to sap little Joan of her strength.
Her condition is so serious that she even had to undergo surgery. Gastritis very rarely requires surgery to treat, so this is an indication of how dire her condition is. The surgery was successful to a degree, but she is going to need ongoing treatment to manage her symptoms.
The treatments are administered weekly and cost $500 USD (just under €500 EUR). Her family has no income and cannot afford this. If Joan goes more than a few days without treatment, her symptoms worsen rapidly, and she sometimes has to be hospitalized. It is vital that we help her family procure her treatments so that her condition does not worsen!
You can help Joan get her surgery and treatment by
reblogging this post
copy-pasting this link (https:// gofund.me/85a1b400) in your own Tumblr posts and all across your social media accounts to share her family’s story
boosting posts from her parents @mahafamily1 and @ahmed-family-1
donating to her family’s GFM campaign below
Current: €22,271 EUR
New temporary goal: €22,771 EUR
Need to raise: about €500 EUR ($500 USD)
#palestine#gaza#genocide#ethnic cleansing#medical aid#emergency aid#donate#charity#gfm#gofundme#money
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Hai since you aren't taking actual fic requests right now and only headcanons I wanted to ask if you also do those rankings? If you haven't seen basically people ask a question like 'who would be the biggest gentleman in a relationship' and the person who asks either gives a few characters for the writer to rank and write a few sentences or let the writer choose which characters they think fit best
But yeah I've basically have been seeing this a lot recently and had to think of you and your blog because I think I'd be something nice and short to write when you don't wanna do hc's/fic's and could help with potential writers block !
And if you plan on doing that then here would be your first ranking request !! :3
So out of Thanos, gwi-nam and niragi who would be the most freaky and rough in bed?
(btw I know this is long and I hope this wasn't a bother to you, I just ramble a lot about things I'm interested in and I just love your blog and everything you've written so far and I hope you continue <33)
im in love with this ranking system thingy uhm oh em gee ?!?!?!?!
i will absolutely be ranking now it's such a cute concept😭😭
below is my personal ranking.. (also thank you for liking my writing it always makes me so nervous when people compliment me..)
No.3: Choi Su-Bong/Thanos (Squid Game)
Thanos is rough, yes. He likes choking you, he likes making you cry - not to mention he really enjoys edging you for as long as possible to watch your face contort in slight pain as you beg him to let you cum.
However, I'd argue he's not entirely the type to force you into anything if it makes you super uncomfortable. The only exception for this is when he's high and not really mentally present but most of the time he doesn't push you too far over the limit.
Of course, don't mistake this for me saying he's not rough! He totally is. But, compared to the others I'm ranking, he's def less extreme..
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No.2: Yoon Gwi-Nam (All Of Us Are Dead)
This is pretty self-explanatory.. we've seen plenty of scenes with him and he does NOT play.
Again, he also likes seeing you cry and choking you and blah blah blah but he's more freaky than Thanos which is why he's number two on my ranking.
He's ONLY degrading. There's nothing nice about this man. Maybe he would've pretended to be a little nice but he drops all that when he's fucking you honestly.
However, he's still only no.2 because while, yes, he isn't above being violent toward you and man handling you - he's not quite as bad as who i put as no.1
────────────────────────────────────────────
No.1: Suguru Niragi (Alice In Borderland)
No.1 for a reason.
He's the roughest and the freakiest best believe it !! He really doesn't bother playing nice whatsoever. If he sees you and he likes you, he'll just claim you without a care in the world.
Just really kinky in my opinion!!
prolly into gun play, knife play - anything incredibly violent sorry not sorry. I mean.. we all know the typa guy he is so..
i'd argue he views you ENTIRELY as a doll for his pleasure. Not anything more honestly.
────────────────────────────────────────────
CONCLUSION: First time ranking and I may have made it a little fancy set up bc i got excited at this concept..
But, yes - Niragi is No.1 on this list. I feel like he's just a real kinky and rough asshole. Although, I do totally see Gwinam being similar to Niragi in the future when he reaches PEAK dickhead-ness.
My king Thanos is only No.3 bc he's not totally mean at heart i feel.. he's just really rough when he's high but I don't think he'd be the same level of rough as Gwinam and Niragi.
anyway, hope my ranking was good !!
────────────────────────────────────────────
(thank you sm for this idea i need more holy moly..)
#xaeinfinity#squid game#squid game 2#squid game season 2#squid game s2#thanos squid game#choi su bong#aouad#all of us are dead#gwi nam#gwi nam x reader#alice in borderland#niragi suguru#niragi alice in borderland#aib niragi
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extremely funny coming from writers whose characters return and play major roles in more than one game. yeah sorry guys we couldnt do anything interesting with the game because we had to protect our fans from the conflict we would write if we did <3
#veilguard spoilers /#these arent my screenshots btw im old and dont know how to use bluesky#weekes REALLY rubs me the wrong way. i dont like their writing enough for them to be acting like this. mary kirby can get away with it#just about because i know she kind of means it but weekes' obsession with being the person that writes drama / twists is kind of juvenile#like we've all had that writing phase lol#likr what is this. you sound like a teenager talking about the supernatural finale#also the alistair comment is kind of not true at all. he can die in dai but his cameo in da2 is a really good example of choices in#the previous game having consequences in the form of a small cutscene? seeing him drunk in the bar the first time#i played da2 and KNOWING it was my fault was so good
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#iirc the datv embargo lifts in a few hours time#its exciting for sure!! ◕‿◕#(theres some good info out there about what u can expect etc)#everyones level of comfort/preference for spoilers or what they consider/dont consider spoilers or do/dont want to see beforehand#is different and thats valid#for me rn my pref is not seeing much more of the game than i have so far so i will probably not be watching/reading most of those bits of#coverage which are described as 'spoilery' due to this#im just at a stage personally where in the main the last thing I'd like to see now is just a good look at the CC and the CC options#and then just any of the more 'generic' stuff like any new official screenshots that get tweeted or if theres one more trailer or something#(know what i mean? maybe generic is the wrong word but like vague or general or something). and thats about it#so if i'm quieter on here or not postin about sth new that you've seen or focusing more on less-new stuff like V&V eps i didnt get a chance#to listen to yet or i dont know the answer to something etc thats why ^^#i've turned off asks and submit as well jic#sry for any inconvenience caused by that and for not following/posting everything in the coming weeks hh!!#its like a push and pull between wanting to be hyped with everyone/overanalyze every new crumb/wanting my blog to be useful and#not wanting to know much more about the game besides CC than i do atm hh#ultimately we will only get to go into this game and play this game for for the first time once so yea :D#(and in case it helps to know for your own curation purposes my datv spoilers tag is 'dragon age the veilguard spoilers'!!)#mj and the world
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Back then space seemed endless. Now it's empty.
a sort of companion piece to my anya one; i just think they share more parallels than people realize
#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#my art#this isnt a defense of curlys inaction im media literate but like#i feel like certain folks paint him as just Male Enabler without giving thought to like...why? idk if im making sense but work w me here#it was just so clear to me while playing the game that jimmy had been abusing curly long before the crash yk#maybe not in the same way as anya but. look at him.#jimmy to me is the exact type to use abuse to create enablers#also people act like curly was blind to jimmys Jimmyness and thought that he was a good man but thats not the read i personally got#points to his first questions to anya when she tells him she told jimmy being “was he angry” and “what did he do”#also the rapid frantic heartbeat as he goes to confront him#thats not the reaction of a guy whos not scared of his friend#idk i could go on but the tags are getting long sdrfegsg#safe to say as someone who spent most of my childhood with a 'friend' like jimmy i have Thoughts about curly
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made this for my gc and wanted to post it
#BUT ITS SO FUCKING TRUE#I HAVE NEVER HAD A CAMPAIGN THAT COULDNT RELATE TO RIPTIDE#MY FIRST CAMPAIGN STARTED ON A BOAT AND JRWI WAS ONE OF THE THINGS TO GET ME INTO DND#SECOND CAMPAIGN FIRST TIME A PLAYER I PLAY A PALADIN#SHE IS A VERY BASIC PALADIN#SHE IS A GILL RIP OFF ON ACCIDENT#CAMPAIGN MY FRIEND IS ABOUT TO RUN IS A PIRATE CAMPAIGN#THEN THE CAMPAIGN IM GONNA RUN OVER THE SUMMER HAS TWO MAJOR GODDESSES#AND THEY ARE SUN AND MOON LESBIANS#at least my paladin is a little original#she’s a sorcerer paladin#OH FUCKING WAIT#I JUST WATCHED CHARLIE SLIMECICLE USE SORCERY POINTS#FUCK MY GAY ASS STUPID LIFE#THERE IS NO NEW IDEAS UNDER THE FUCKING SUN#ITS ALL JRWI RIPTIDE PIRATES#also in the campaign with my paladin we were talking about how the ’one what comes after one?… foooouuuur i can only count to four…’#is so that party#which is also a three person party with a token girl#and i’ve found fanart of that song of the riptiders#jrwi#jrwi riptide
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I assume you:
Like indie music
Need a therapist
Would play ukulele if given the option to learn any instrument
Like stickers
Kin Maria
Are blonde or brunette
Have never dyed your hair
Consume media you know has queer characters, and when they come around to it during said media go "omfg i had no clue they'd end up together..."
Don't like Knuckles (mainly cuz I've only seen you post him once. ever.)
Don't know that you're the first blog I ever followed on Tumblr
Saying you think I don't like knuckles is so sad.... He's just too cool for me.... (He's so hard to draw bc snoot)
#the kins Maria one made me happy idk why#the hair ones are the truth (brunette never dyed)#its so funny getting into media bc most i get into aren't explicitly queer#<- most media with queer aspects hooked me on different parts bc even tho I love rep. i don't actually care for canon romance#i did NOT know i was the first person you followed (jumpscare)/pos#i wouldn't want to play instruments because my hands get confused with things like that (also things like playing videogames)#i don't know what classifies as indie music lol#i would love stickers if i wasn't scared if using them lol (gets anxious about putting them on things BUT THEY'RE SO JOY)#for the therapist. i am currently in a time where im realizing stuff and. yeah. probably.#ask game#rednexxsaysthing#HII RED HAIIII
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look, i don't regret deciding to go back to school because i genuinely believe i'll get to do a job that's perfect for me but holy fuck, did i not miss the student part of being a student
#which is a bit of a surprise because i always loved being a student#(aka me becoming a teacher first wasn't random)#i still love the 'learning things' aspect of it and feeling like im fully using my brain it's stimulating and rewarding#but gosh being AT SCHOOL??? FROM 9 TO 5???!! SITTING???#LECTURES WITH 300 PEOPLE WHO CAN'T STOP TALKING???#SPENDING THE LAST FEW DAYS OF MY XMAS BREAK WRITING A 15 PAGE LONG MLA FORMATED PAPER?? ON TOP OF OTHER HOMEWORK DUE TOMORROW???#BECAUSE IM A STUDENT SO I PROCRASTINATED??#0/10 do not recommend#but anyway im done with my paper i can go play video games#back to school#éduc spé#personal
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if I said eisa davis' influence in making lmm actually write something rather radically progressive has subsequently inspired me to return to my roots of actually fucking thinking of making radically progressive musicals after a 3-year long hiatus in doing so, then what-
#thdjdjd i dunno like gjdjd#look warriors did something fucking weird to my brain#it brought me back to when i first was obsessed with WATT when i was 16#and hamilton when i was 13#like it makes me wanna write again#and now with eisa davis proving that Radically Progressive Ideas In Art Can Fucking Work If You Have The Balls#im um#really thinking about going back WHAHAHA#might rework Patron the musical into a concept album idea of sorts#side a being life as a filipino student who learns the ins and outs of activism and ndmos here#side b being their counterpart who is a writer that struggles against being indocrinated by um neo-colonialist capitalist beliefs#all that comes with prolonged exposure to the bubble of privilege in the phililpines#(especially the role that the US capitalism plays in it hahahahaha we haven't forgotten about that)#basically not exactly a princess and the pauper situation but um just two people on different sides of the same coin#and its meant to be an exploration of my experiences in college#both in terms of my activism#and me being made to mind the line at times as a communication student and a writer#its like splitting myself into two and making them butt heads PFFT but yea#and I call it Patron because Side A (Filipino) is inspired from the concept of patron saints ('who dies for us? who do we die for?')#(pronounce side A as PAH-tron with a roll to that R)#and Side B is um what are the privileges and pitfalls of foreign patronage?#(yes this is inspired by um some filipinos being so enamored by socio-economic privilege upon stepping foot in amerca that they forget-#where they came from)#anyways thats ny tiny ramble for today im gonna get back to wofk#personal shit#voila the return of the izzy idea rambles
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thinking abt the veilguard companions and sighing heavily
#they have no personality outside of the things they need help with. they are not their own people#they are tools for a force narrative about...fear and regret i guess? but like. ok...who are these people though#you dont actually get to KNOW them unless you bother to walk around the lighthouse and peep into their notes and journals#insane. i cant ask you questions about your life before joining my cause? about your family or upbringing?#i have to eavesdrop on ambient conversation to be able to learn about you? give me a freaking break#i constantly flip flop between a show-dont-tell and TELL ME MORE because this game cant make up its own freaking mind#it overexplains itself CONSTANTLY during the main quest and then when it comes to the NPCs it hardly explains anything#unless you actively seek it out. or you dont blight minrathous.#''but you had to seek out companions in the past games!!!'' yeah. because you could actually TALK TO THEM.#you cant TALK to anyone in this game.#someone in the anti veilguard community put it best: theyre just dolls you pick up and play with on occasion. they have no real agency#literally. they have NO control over their own narratives. YOU are the deciding factor on everything they do.#''but this is true for every NPC in every dragon age!!'' can you not use your brain critically for even a moment.#the NPCs in previous games actually felt like people. when they asked for your help it was because you EARNED the right to participate#through talking to them and asking questions and building rapport and giving them gifts.#these characters trauma dump on you the moment you meet them. there is no building of anything. its all just vomited onto you immediately#bellara talking about cyrian in her first companion quest for example...like girl .#stupid worthless dialogue wheels that dont ever change the outcome of a conversation. the illusion of choice. all of it. im so angry.
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contemplating deleting my blog soon I might make a new blog but idk
#.bdo#i just need to work on some insecurity issues is all. been on a long self journey this year#can't shake the feeling that every time i say anything it's wrong somehow#and there is some reality to that. i have been wrong several times I've even been downright mean to people over misunderstandings#i just haven't been able to break out of the habit of feeling permanently embarrassed about every small mistake I've ever made#& old insecurities from my childhood are resurfacing#like when i was a kid/teen and no one would ever tell me when i was breaking social cues but they'd make fun of me behind my back#i have 3200 followers and most of my posts get 0 notes sometimes i get 1-5 so it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong#i end up deleting a lot of them...#almost every post of mine that's gone viral was just a screenshot or picture saved from somewhere else....#and the times that i have gotten attention over a post that stands up for people who aren't like me it makes me terrified#that i look like i'm trying to play a savior role or like i'm virtue signaling#i have a few good mutuals who i love so much and that's why I'm still here#it's also the only social media i use currently#but it does really hurt when i put a lot of thought into something like spending hours making a funny meme or a thoughtful post#just to find out that the only people who find them interesting is my extremely small circle on here if anyone at all#it's so dumb i shouldn't be feeling like this over fucking numbers....it's not even real#i find a little bit of (petty) solace in the fact that there are people on here who are loudly and repeatedly saying way more embarrassing#shit than I've ever said#but even then when i know someone is absolutely wrong it makes me feel nervous like what if im the next person to fuck up that bad#and i find out through public ridicule#well that actually kinda did happen on here once but not on that scale#last year i sent someone something i thought was funny and they sent back an 'ok'#and then immediately made a huge long post about how you shouldn't talk to strangers like you're already friends#called it parasocial behavior...got tens of thousands of notes and i knew it was about me...#i wholeheartedly agree some people go too far with parasocial behavior but i never fully understood what part of what i said/did was wrong#and i went back to feeling like the kid who never found out they were doing something wrong until they heard that they got made fun of#i don't even attempt to make new friends on my own on here anymore because i'm terrified of that happening again#almost all of the people I've become friends with on here came to me first and i love and appreciate them for that#but even then i feel too nervous to socialize that often bc i never find out/realize that i fuck up until later on
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i finished thesis, won an award, and have graduated.. hello 👋🥸
#i'm not coming back but :') hello#i forgot i even had tumblr still on my phone djdkdkdkdk#i just opened it for the first time in ??? 5 months or smth i think idk for sure#life is weird :')#remember when i said i wanna drop out every day of my life :') bc i suck at design#welp i won an award for my design thesis :')#jsjdjdkdkdkdj#turns out having friends kinda changes your life 🫂#having friends at school has actually :') made me a happier more normal person lol#i haven't been miserable?? i haven't wanted to kms ... i have been so happy and yes school was shitty but i wanted to go and try hard bc#my friends motivated me to stay and try and that's crazy :') idk#felt really loved and like i belonged somewhere for the first time in my life 🫨 like woah ppl like me and wanna be my friend? me??#:') i'm really happy... isn't that weird#i used to want to kms every other day hsjdndkdkdks lol 😭#now i'm like 😭 every day i look forward to waking up bc i'm happy and i have ppl who love me and i wanna see them again and i wanna spend#time with them again and play games with them again :')#literally stayed up till ??? 4 am yesterday talking to one of them like#😭#god jm djjdkdkdkd idk :')#my life is good...#???? IM NOT MISERABLE IDK GUYS#wild af#even winning the award was such a shock like 🥲 damn . who ? me?#ppl from like :') this big design thing in toronto we're praising it too like djdjdodjdkdj#:') it's kinda crazy.. i was super !#man.. i cant believe how 5 months ago i was gonna kms 🥸👆 and now i'm like erm actually maybe we do need to live#:') anyway#i hope ppl on here are doing good 🫨🔨#it is sad to not be here as much but also 👋😌 i'm happy to be free at the same time so ✨
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who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it
#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it#idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character#someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it#and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly#its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked#because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately#like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means#it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by#a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time#i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid#so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or#smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them#become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words#but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/#a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened#especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that#need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta#once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it#circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it#actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt#i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me#that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly#mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them#have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP#IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL#yapping
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never thought i'd hear chk chk boom be played at our school field on the speakers but we gone done it lol
#we're basically having sports week at our school and all of our days are spent at the field#and they were making the kids play musical chair AS A SPORT (😭) but we were having fun because they started playing songs on the speakers#while everyone was busy cheering me and my friends started chanting 'change the song! change the song!" LMAO#and it was so fun seeing others join haha#its not like our school didn't play kpop. its just the usual gangnam style and SOME bts songs if we're lucky#but usually its just random songs i feel like the sir was just scrolling through insta reels and chose whatever he was watching 😭😭#WE SUCESSFULLY MADE THEM PLAY APT BY ROSE#we started chanting 'A-P-T!' continuously and then EVERYBODY JOINED IN IT WAS SO FUN#and maybe he found a kpop playlist via that because then he played dynamite lol#BUT THEN one of my teachers called me aside for some discussion regarding the prep for the next days and then while shes talking to me#I HEAR CHK CHK BOOM PLAYING HDASHDASJK#my stay friends came up to me to call me but then they saw things were v serious between the teachers and all so they started smirking/groa#-ing#RAHH I MISSED IT THE FIRST TIME AND THE FOMO WAS HITTING ME HARD#but THEN after a few rounds of some desi item songs THEY PLAYED IT AGAINDHAHDA#i had a religious experience listening to chan's pre-chorus on the loud speakers. thats all ill say#we were literally rapping in gibberish and i literally fell on my knees when chan's part came up im not even embarrassed 😭😭#and it was so surprising to me to see everyones reaction because they were like oh! ur a kpop stan! oh! like i feel their whole perception#of me has changed somehow 💀 cant say if its for the better or worse loll#but all that matters was i got to experience this religious moment with my friends cuz im just a girl🙇♀️🎀#(also cuz it was musical chairs they stopped playing just before the chorus 😥 but that didn't stop us from screaming the whole song heheh)#stray kids#skz#personal
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had quite the night drive earlier this evening.
#just me rambling again#web weaving#(?)#uh. one of my friends who is out of town for college was visiting and i got to see him and our friends and the only core member of that#group of people missing was my ex girlfriend who you may also know of as my wonderful wife#who has I assume been very busy with their own life things but has also barely and very sparsely had any hint of communication with any of#us within the past few months which I've been realizing very recently sort of hurts my feelings because we used to be so close and#they had been saying that they would be constantly making sure we still were in each other's lives. but then very quickly have#seemingly dropped off the face of the earth#anyways. I was driving aforementioned friend who is in town back home (family home not college obv) and when i was finally going back#towards my house afterwards my Google maps finally lead me to an area that i was more familiar with driving and i got to an#intersection and it was telling me to take a right to go home but i knew that i knew the way perfectly from that intersection to my#ex girlfriend / best friend / wifes familys house from all of the times I've gone that direction through the past years and so#i turned off my directions and i took a left towards their house#not super sure why but my brain and body just knew it was something i needed to do and so i went and drove down their street and cried#a lot the whole time and then drove myself home from their house once again following a super familiar path#and idk im still feeling very emotional about it. the fact that halloween by noah kahan was the first song to play on Spotify#after i made that left turn im sure didnt help (knowing that i miss them so much and am going to be leaving this area myself#soon enough here and there's been an open offer for a while now that they are welcome to follow and live with me once they get their degree#(and also um. halloween is next week lol)#idk i just havent felt the full force of how badly i miss having them in my life until tonight. when i was around this person i could feel#our souls singing in harmony. i genuinely cannot describe the feelings of our relationship in words i feel like only vaguely abstract art#could communicate the connection that was forged between us and the level of understanding and knowing#something not dissimilar to looking into the sun directly or trying to describe a vivid color to someone who is completely blind#something about the way the entire universe breathes in unison and everything around us are all pieces of the same stars#sigh#i miss my wife tails i miss her a lot /ref
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god i fucking hate my dad
#he came home today from a bike trip he went on and he's been arguing with me about honeybee the whole fucking day#he keeps saying just let her out let her run around! every time i put her in her pen to nap#and he refuses to stop her from biting him#and he got mad at her for playing with his socks when she'd just been playing with mine and he threw them on the floor of the living room#which first of all stop being such a fucking slob#and second of all what the fuck did you expect to happen? it's a soft new toy on the floor where she spends most of her time. where all her#toys are. very similar to the two soft items she's allowed to play with (my socks)#she's fucking 3 months old she doesn't understand the difference between my socks and his socks#and i keep telling him i know what im doing i was doing all the research while he went to buttfuck nowhere on his midlife crisis motorcycle#but he just wont fucking listen to me#and hes like oh youre at that age where you think youre right about everything and are so stubborn like fuck you actually#first of all im stubborn about this because its a living breathing puppy and his actions will affect her behaviour as an adult#and bc i know what im fucking doing. ive been an animal person my entire life. i did all the research. i did this exact same thing with#parrots for five years.#and hes like you cant just put her in her pen every time shes being a dog like no i fucking dont. i only put her in her pen when it's time#for a nap and she's getting overtired. you can't just let her run around until she collapses bc for one she never fucking will#second that's only going to make her energy threshold higher and then she'll be absolutely impossible to handle#and i told him that and that i read that on like every professional dog training source i read#and he said that might be true or might not be#like it fucking is bitch omfg#and then he tried to one up me like um i actually raised you guys for a long time i know what im doing#like a child is not a fucking dog. also my mom raised us lets be fucking serious. and look how well adjusted i turned out#and he told me to relax and calm down like i wasnt even arguing with him but i sure as hell will now#like dont tell me to fucking relax. when has telling anyone to relax ever made anything better. especially a teenager. especially a (for#simplicity's sake) woman.#and i told him dont tell me to relax and he got all pissy and stormed off#like literally fuck you#im my fathers daughter. im just as stubborn as he is.#rambles
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