#placements that scare me
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astrology placements in a natal chart that scare me: Part 1
(this is for fun, don’t take it too seriously!)
Moon Square Pluto: This placement just looks scary but there is a lot of baggage/trauma surrounding the mother/maternal figure/childhood here. SO MUCH heavy shit going on and these natives know it.
Sun Square Mars: Argumentative much? The potential for violence can be intimidating. There is so much excess energy here, and even as a gemini moon, yall need to chill out before something or someone gets hurt.
Moon square Saturn: Depression and numbing of the emotions run rife here…there are a number of years spent in therapy to manage this. Repressed emotions.
Scorpio Mercurys: No, for the last time, I am not lying (I am, signed, a Gemini Moon x )
Mercury square/ Uranus/Saturn: Stop talking to me please
The planet Neptune scares me the most…how do you focus on the energy of a planet when the planet itself is nebulous, confusing and mysterious…
Mercury in aspect to Venus: You guys are charming and I fall for it everytime.
Venus in aspect to Saturn: They exude tough love but they need love the most…who hurt you.
Venus in aspect to Pluto: I love your energy but please don’t cling to me or stalk me.
Mars opposition Saturn: Motivation goes and comes fast. Struggles with depressive thoughts.
Moon trine Venus: LAZYYYYYY
#placements that scare me#aspects#astrology aspects#square aspects#moon#venus#astrology observations
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listening to the locked tomb audiobooks is incredibly enriching (phenomenal narration, audio is best for me to imagine a book vs reading it) and so painful. what do you mean it's going to take me 9 more hours to finish nona. the stakes are just ramping up i should be able to demolish it in one evening as god intended.
#but i'm too scared of missing stuff if i 2x speed it. got to respect the narration#i listened to all of gtn on my commute during my last placement block#and htn during a home alone no friends week (everyone on holiday)#and ntn is now my knitting entertainment#these things stay with me idk#WHAT WILL I DO WHEN IM DONE I WANT TO SAVOUR BUT I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS#the locked tomb#tlt#gideon the ninth#harrow the ninth#nona the ninth#tamsyn muir
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find me at london mcm in the artist alley at table j-01 this weekend for queer victoriana, trans ocs, these new items, and also talking extensively about gale dekarios! see you there!
#it's this week iT'S THIS WEEK I AM SO NERVOUS and ofc excited!!!!#i'm gonna get my gale print signed by tim!!!!!!!!!! AAAAA#i'm gonnA GET MY WYLL PRINT SIGNED BY THEO!!! AAAA#also pls find me at my table!! i'm yet again at the v back next to catering and i'm v scared about my placement ;-;
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one odd thing about going deeper is that I'm no longer satisfied with shallower. and that's, weirdly enough, a net positive. I've self harmed - eh, twice? in the last month. both were well into the criteria that should have got sutures and ignored it; suspect I hit a vein once and was extremely close to muscle, which feels kind of odd. yeah, it's ramped up; yeah, there's a lot of blood and all that kind of stuff. very high risk of infection, potential nerve damage and all that kind of stuff (though I have not got either of them; I scared off an infection that wanted to hang round by chucking quantities of alcohol on it). but at the same time. that's only twice. that's a lot better than previously.
#tw sh#the one from a fortnight ago. which i have told nobody irl about including the person to which i showed the first one. is still thinking#about healing and not really doing it yet. it'll get there. might have to wear a bandage or smth on placement#if we were going into winter i would think there was a serious concern of doing it a bunch more but for now i know i absolutely cannot#because it will be visible.#i mean it already will but im gonna pretend it was from months ago and hopefully deflect questions about just how i got such scars#actually the one that i think approached muscle is surprisingly close to healed and probably going to scar surprisingly little#the other one is simply too fresh still to know how it'll scar#should've taken progress pictures to monitor healing but was too scared others would accidentally see it#didn't want to traumatise folks#honestly was genuinely tempted to take one (1) photo of the more recent one and post on my secret sh tumblr but i talked myself out of that#anyway im fine#personal#puddleglum hours#yesterday dad hugged me and patted my arm and it was LITERALLY directly on top of the fresher one but i was able to Not flinch#fun fact: when you go that deep it is in fact Less painful than a few layers shallower#which i found to my own concern the first time and was freaking out thinking id done something nerve-related#anyway yes i really am fine prommy#fessed up to my doc about self harming anyway#and technically unless muscle is involved it is clinically described as superficial#(fat layer is the one where they will nearly always consider sutures necessary but some shallower will be dependent on how much they gape)#but also because of how much blood there is every time you kinda have to spend longer making sure you're not gonna bleed all over everythin#so that also stops me bc oh it's nearly midnight i cannot devote like two hours or three to making sure i don't wake up in a puddle of bloo#(hyperbole)#anyway in some ways i find this funny. probably should be vaguely concerned. but eh
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The secret to good school is good funding. One day, I dream of a world where all schools have options for their children. Personally, I think it's pretty important for that sort of thing to start out early. See if you're actually into that think BEFORE you're 100k in debt and hating your life.
My area has some awesome architecture. One time, I wanted to do a project on it, and my teacher said it was too complicated. I cried, like genuinely left that class, found a place to sit down, and just cried. The buildings were pretty, and I wanted to talk about them. I really do love the amount of thought put into those buildings. The people who made them are dead, but their art is still there. A bunch of dudes 100 years ago sat down and designed this theater. Then more came in and built it. And here I am, sitting there.
Architecture is so awesome in the way that it's interactive. It can survive longer than any human.
definitely!! being able to explore interests before you gotta choose one for your career is soso important i rlly wish i got to try out some more shit before i had to settle on smth
also sameee my city has a lot of old architecture (especially my school. some of the buildings are falling apart but they're very old and very pretty) and im like just in awe of it like architecture is an art but it's more than an art because unlike a lot of art it's not just something to look at it's somewhere someone lives or works or goes with friends and makes memories like a lot of art doesnt have a practical function but architecture does and it serves as a setting for so much of people's lives and that's really impactful and so awesome because there's architecture everywhere and it's all so beautiful *dreamy sigh*
also sucks that ur teacher sucked i hate when teachers/profs won't let you do projects on what ur passionate abt like passion is the basis of learning why aren't u supporting that....
#ask#i love architecture buildings r so pretty my school especially like i hate school but im like so scared to have to leave campus and all my#favorite buildings like i think buildings are unique as an art bc they have a sense of nostalgia that a lot of other art forms dont and they#hold a lot of memories and like there's so much variety esp in cities like the way different buildings work off each other is sp beautiful#and like the scale pf buildings make them so impressive like esp if youve watched them get built like buildings just feel so powerful#theyre made of so many little parts that come together and they can be changed and made new and they can be a beautiful facade for ppl to#look at and they can be filled with ppl's lives and ugh i love buildings i love architecture#like literally our city has quite a few nice buildings that ive had to have ppl drag me away from staring at them and everytime i go to#[redacted city] that has So many different architecture styles like im chatting during the whole time im there about the new modern styles#that are being built and the more established areas w old townhouses and how they play off each other and abt the placement of certain#buildings at key points for how they affect the skyline or how the heights of some buildings are used to draw more attention to certain#areas and ough. also hadnt been mentioned yet but i am also the same way abt landscaping i go oughh oughh fhe color choices for the bushes#against the bricks oughhhhh the way they framed the yard the way the garden plays off of yhe suttounfung buildings oughh#im kinda like that abt everything though if something can be framed as an art im like drooling and banging my head against the wall and#going oughhhh can u see the vision i see the vision everyone come snd look at this and see what the artist was intending to achieve w this#it is my horrible beautiful whimsical heart that makes me yhis way
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barry's birth chart is..... concerning
wdym you have your moon in cancer? and MARS? wdym your mercury and venus are in fucking SCORPIO?
hes basically water...... that chart screams INTENSITY
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Wuh oh gamers, a piece of art you don't like seems to be doing numbers! <- said in a voice that knows someone is gonna be an ass on your art again
#Me talking in second person on Tumblr. Yeagh.#H.mmmm yeah I had someone be rude on my art b4 so I'm kind of. Screeching about people I think are cool reblogging dif piece#Cause on one hand thanks for the reblog? Ont he other oh god in heaven that was a concept piece not even the final product#I wanted to do some concept on paneling and colour usage + character placement#Which was what that piece was!! Its not even got my signature three stars on it!#Aaaaauuggghhhhh#This is just a lil screeching post don't reblog it I'm just being a lil scared cat under a porch rn#Also I'm not gonna turn reblogs off that piece I'm just. Kind of being a screeching cat
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#found out last night someone i knew at uni died and its odd. really odd#didnt know them well enough to really feel grief but always intended to hang out with them more#follow each other on spotify & their last listened to artist is one of my favourite bands#i would have liked to have known them better. yeah#really feel for the ppl who were closest to them like im sad but as i said its not like. actual grief#we hear abt other students dying every now and then but its never someone you knew personally or someone whos house you went to#& you meowed at them and they got scared because they said theyre a barking household. and they showed you the dead buzzard in their garden#from which you stole some feathers. and then you went in their fucked up shed that apparently had asbestos#yeah. i just wish id had more opportunities to know them. me and another friend always said we should hang out with them more#man it sucks. which is an understatement rlly but u know#and now its kind of just like. this is a thing that has happened#and i probably wont rlly feel the impact until coming off placement year next year because then ill actually notice that theyre not there#never had anyone in my peer group die before. really fucking weird#really hope theyre at peace now and all. and im glad one of my friends who knew them more i checked in on is doing alright#i mean i say im not grieving but i have cried and am crying but i also cry easily or when i hear people i dont even know have died#but also i do miss them and i wish i could see them again
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feeling so anxious rn send help
#mainly that i have a meeting with a trainer soon#and one of kings issues that we’ll be talking about is him sometimes barking at other dogs#which is a similar reason to why iris got moved from me#and like if kings placement changes i won’t be able to keep doing this or will need to take a huge break#like another thing making me feel like a failure at this will fully break me#i don’t think it will happen bc he is improving and is young enough that i think i can help him#and one of the organizations trainers will be coming over to work with our club weekly now#but i’m just so scared#it’ll be fine though i hope i need it to be#i need king to be my success i need him to do well and i need to be by his side til his final training
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art posted whatever. time to fucking. sew!!!!!!!!!!!
#i've made myself some new patches in the meantime (two loosely based on splat/on aaand one for the mojave express as i mentioned)#also i probably wont be posting more photos of my vest i got erm. scared sorries#i wanna do something star t/ek related too i've been watching a lot of it lately. at least more than i. used to eurm#i'll probably go with the little. pin they got? although i might just do a pin from clay or something. i have golden paint and shit so#i could even make it. 'realistic' to the show. whatever#mmmm what else#i've been having some troubles with the placement though? well whatever. it doesn't have to be perfect :] i'm having lots of fun that's#what matters! and the vest is really cool like. gender wise! i think i look awesome ^__^#the mojave express one turned out so great btw!! i love it so much. but i have to place it on the back unfortunately :((((#<i would sew it on one of the sleeves but i cut them off. oopsies!#whatever!!!! again. it's a fun project#oooh and thinking abt it i'd really want to do something dont st/rve related maybe! it really grew on me i don't think there's a single week#when i don't think about this game. maybe i'll do a spider?? <guy literaly named webber#OH MY GOD AND COMPUTERS AND ROBOTS AND MACHINES...i have to do something with that....#technically i DO have an aso inspired patch but i want something less subtle.....something that will make it clear i am NOT NORMAL!!!#about machines and automatons and computers and such!#ok well. that's a big wall of text. BOO!!!!
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Theres are a couple TikTok memes that always make me think of the Kuvira, Baatar, Bolin friend group dynamic and I wish I had the art to actually make them cries one is the Barbie Girl-Bratz-Monster High one, literally every time I hear that audio I think of them LOLOL
Bolin - Barbie Girl
Kuvira - Bratz
Baatar - Monster High
Just trust me it makes sense I swear 😭
#LoK Thoughts#[ Baatar and Kuvira's placements are very dependent on my AU lol#otherwise I could see the two of them being switched if you're going off the show versions#there are several other tiktok audios that I really wanna put them three too#like the 'who are the plastics?' one#that's was like the first one I really wanted to make one of them for lol#but sadly I must watch them in my head for now#I've spent a little time on art tiktok but barely#mainly I'm on kpop tiktok lol#art tiktok just scares me bc it's just a free for all over there#people can be so mean#and I have heard that LoK tiktok is ESPECIALLY hostile and hateful towards Baatar#so I dare not set foot over there lol#I wonder if anyone's stolen my art of him to make a hate tiktok of#I've heard about that happening with other artists (not lok art but still)#where people take fanart of theirs ti make tiktoks about how much they hate the character#or mock how the artist draws them ]
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Screaming crying throwing up (but literally teehee)
#so fuckimg anxious and scared for this placement i domt really know why but im just so fuckign scared#its also still dark outside and i have to get 2 buses to get there and like the bus drivers cannot see me waiting in the dark??#so heres hoping i manage to make it there on time
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going to donate plasma for the first time ever on new year's eve.. wish me luck lol!
#it is time to begin giving a fuck about my diet so my iron is Ready for that day 😤😤😤😤#i am going to be so brave about the donation.. i'm scared of having a needle in me for that long but everyone says it's just the initial#placement that you notice it SO. it will be fine i'm writing this into existence now#needle cw#sriracha.txt
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damm someone got wild w/ the tags, girl put a whole ass fanfic there
just saw a steddie soulmate au that reminded me of an old trope of having every lie your soulmate ever told written somewhere on your body and I can't stop thinking about Eddie with "I'm fine," scrawled all over
#Eddie getting his first words when he’s young. maybe 3 or 4 he couldn’t quite remember#a little line right above his knee that says a simple ‘Not me’#that wasn’t unusual. toddlers lie all the time. most lies are from early childhood and silly little things kids fib about.#the first ‘I’m okay’ appeared less than a year later. a little sting on the inside of his ankle he watches etch out while running barefoot#he doesn’t like that one. just barely old enough to start really understanding what the words are#just old enough he doesn’t have to have his mama read out most of ‘em.#he wishes he knew who his soulmate was. find out why they were lying about that and cheer them up by playing knights.#throughout the years he likes the little lies less and less. small ‘my mom’s just running late’s#and ‘yeah I tripped’s#and ‘they’ll be home soon’s that make him angry and scared#he knows his soulmate has their own slew of lies covering their skin.#too many times he’d had to cover for his dad. or his mama when the school started asking questions.#it’s why he makes a vow to never lie unless he has to. doesn’t want all that ugliness rubbing off on the one person who might understand him#but the worst one. the worst of all his soulmate’s lies#or at the very least the most occurring#are those stupid ‘I’m okay’s and ‘I’m fine’s#they vary in size and placement#some small enough they could be passed off as weird freckles. one so big it covers his whole palm.#but he’s got so many of them. too many. has them up and down his arms by high school and takes to wearing Wayne’s old flannels to cover them#some nights he stays up and counts them#knows by the time he makes it through he might have a few more#it’s sad as fuck. and Eddie never really got over his want to just find whatever poor bastard is tied to him for eternity and make it better#but he doubts he’s gunna find them in Fuck Off Nowhere Indiana#and all of that’s BEFORE the lies start getting weirder#- sorry baby I went insane in ur tags again#steddie
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I can't wait for the new jewelry I ordered to arrive so I can downsize my labret. Any swelling has disappeared weeks ago and now the post is too long and I'm starting to worry about gum recess because the flat back is poking out of the nest and touching my teeth all the time. I also don't want it to sit at a weird angle because it's too long and for it to heal askew or get stretched by its own weight.
I know I'm not supposed to change it myself, but I downsized on my own once already (after I went to my piercer to upsize to allow for swelling and they allowed me to switch back on my own), and I had no problem putting the jewelry back in and the piercing didn't get infected so I supposed I did a good job? And there's no reason I'll get in trouble if I proceed the same way? Anyway, we'll see🤞
#I'm just rambling#I really really can't wait to downsize it's starting to bother me#also I've got a dentist appointment next week and I want to ask their opinion on my gum and if they think it's recessing#gum recess really scares me can you tell#but I think my piercing's placement is good. it's not on the gum#it's higher that's why I notice it clinking against my tooth all the time#if the post is shorter it'll be nice and snug in the flesh of my lip hopefully and the nest will prevent contact
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LIKE..
#alfonse and mani relationship/my feelings about lif and thrasir in reverse but ALSO. a thousand other things.#it's less about the ages in this case and more about the time periods. what moe was (supposedly) like at that time#also all my mani lore never escapes containment but it's also important. that alfonse did NOT have a good first impression LMFAO#it takes a long time to understand it and even longer to make peace w it.#another core important detail though. is at the end of the day alfonse prefers moe. exactly for who it is.#i think there are qualities about moe he actually envies. in all of moe's Difficulties. it's incredibly self-assured.#it knows who it is and what it wants. it's grown into itself a lot at this point.#mani most likely reflects a moe who was 18 or 19. but the way it Is. in its desperation and posturing#alfonse is surprised to hear that age placement from moe. since to him it read more like a scared kid.#ALSO JUST... THE DYNAMIC... of moe carrying itself silly/rough around the edges vs#mani who carries itself more formally and Perfectly. and how in alfonse's eyes moe reads as the more mature one.#he never questioned its age always assuming (correctly) it's either his age or closer to sharena's.#meanwhile he was mistaken about mani's placement. bc SO severely. to him. it just seems like a kid#trying to act older than they are.#IDK last time i talked ages i accidentally started a Whole Thing LMFAOOO DON'T. WANNA DO THAT AGAJN.#but mani is a study in so many things. in growing up too fast. in unrealistic expectations.#in the gender role it was assigned at birth and just how badly that went for it. even though it Seemed#to encapsulate it Perfectly. it's also a study in compatibility and preference esp w alfonse at the other end#it's a study in just how Wrong. horroring and painful. traditional/conventional 'romance' Is for moe.#it's a study in autistic masking. and how damaging that was for it as well.#mani is a study in all the ways moe had to protect itself.#mani is just.... such a loaded fucking character LMFAOOOOOOOO#put that thing back where it came from OR SO HELP ME‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#mani tag#* horrifying. typo LMFAOO#typing too quickly....
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