#pirate raid

[silvereternitywrites]

Don’t let your (Human!!!) Mechanic make Mixtapes

Writing Prompt: A pirate ship boards, the human crewmate uses the coms to blast music trough the ship as a terror tactic.

Prompt Source: user fire-sword; subreddit Humans Are Space Orcs

The Captain had listened to this remix exactly once in its entirety and labeled it a terroristic weapon of mass morale destruction before locking it in a drawer.

To be honest, the human crewmate was perhaps a touch more thrilled than she strictly should have been to be given permission to actually use it.

It was horror-rock, falling into that delightful "creep" tune category with synthetic violins that wailed between high and low notes and a bass strumming heartbeat that artificially raised the pulse rate of the listening parties. Aliens... well, she'd found out aliens responded to that unconscious cue WAY more than humans did.

The fact that she knew every beat and bounce and hitch of it, well, that was where the morale destruction came in.

The pirates had boarded in a specific hallway- and they had been subtly guided to this door for a reason.

It was the maintenance crew hallway. The entire floor had holes big enough to reach through or climb through, and the human crewmate? She fit through them, being lanky, tall, and double-jointed. The ceiling had the same grates on either side of the walkway, to allow for access when the gravity was turned off, making it a catwalk surrounded by bolt holes.

The voice was soft at first- only someone who knew the song would know the words. But Human Jazz played them out perfectly to make the Pirates regret ever trying to raid this ship.

The first set of verses were about "burying" something, and every time it said "buried it" Jazz dropped uninterrupted from the ceiling to the floor. Just at the edge of vision, without touching the holes or making a sound, timing her catch of the bars below to the thump of the drum.

And once they were good and spooked, on edge...

She added her voice to the ship speakers, a roar that made the walkway vibrate under their feet for the chorus.

"RUN! AWAY! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, BEFORE THE MONSTER- MONSTER IS INSIDE! THOUGHT IT WAS DEAD! AND GONE! BUT YOU WERE SO WRONG! HASN'T BEEN SO LONG; YOU NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D SEE- SEE, SEE THE DEAD WALK!"

Screaming from above and plasma lighting up the walls told her it was working.

What a shame for them- the pursuit would continue until morale improved. Her morale, or course. All that light would make this more troublesome until it cooled.

The next verse was about what had been buried coming back to bury the singer- it was time to change tactics anyway.

Now her hands reached up through the tiny holes and grates throughout the verse, grabbing and yanking on legs, tentacles, weapon barrels, whatever was in reach, heedless of the burns she was getting or the catch of nails on fabric and skin. Her fake-claw nails were just acrylics, she'd replace them after this, and some bloodstains from a ripped cuticle or two would really sell the idea that something dead and gross was trying to get at them on top of the “detached fingertips”.

As they were coming up on the second chorus, she pulled both hands back down and put them on a panel instead, directing one of the repair-bots with their dozens of arms to dance to the tune, the lyrics printed on it's glowing screen that loomed up out of the dark.

She already knew what she was going to do with the bridge- it talked about disease and parasites, so she was going to yank body parts under the grate and "bite" them with needles full of weak general anesthetics from the first aid kit. She didn't need to actually like, poison or paralyze them, the imagery from the song would make their minds do that for her.

Except-- the thunder of movement, out of sync with the music, headed back up the catwalk at an honestly dizzying speed, and suddenly it was absolutely quiet except her, the repairbot who had now started the fix the plasma damage to the walls, and the music on the ship speakers.

Poking her head up from the nearest access hole, the pirates were gone- with the exception of one, who'd been hog-tied with their own tentacles and blinded with their Captain's hat. Left as a sacrificial offering to the monster for leading their crew into a deathtrap, probably. Well, Jazz didn't want them to think they were too hasty and come back...

She bared all her teeth in the widest, meanest grin, including her sharper-than-normal canines, and whipped the pirate's hat off, the light of the repairbot's torch illuminating her from behind in only brief flashes.

"Buried what I thought would die, don't got no alibi, I buried it," she sang at the alien's horrified face, "I FUCKING BURIED IT!"

The pirate's scream was a noise she couldn't have replicated in a million years. Yeah, driving it home was a good idea.

"RUN! AWAY! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, THE MONSTER'S ALREADY INSIDE! THOUGHT IT WAS DEAD! AND GONE! BUT I WAS SO WRONG cuz it had been so long and life went on thought it was done I never thought I'd live to see THE DEAD WALK!"

‐-------------------------------------

"I still don't think you needed to render the enemy so terrified they entered an involuntary coma state," the Captain scowled at the human crewmate, who was slung sideways in her work chair. Again.

"It's not like I knew their species can even DO that, Cap! Besides, it was a bloodless battle that successfully repelled the enemy, right? And we haven't been bothered by pirates in that entire sector since!"

The Captain squinted angrily with all their eyes.

"We're a terror-tale in that sector now," they replied flatly.

"Wait, shit, did I accidentally Flying Dutchman our ship?! Aw fuck, Captain, I’m sorry."

The Captain sighed- finally, she understood the gravity of the iss--

"If I'd known that was gonna happen I'd have picked a better song! Dead Walk is kinda underground, how are other ships supposed to lean on the legend with an obscure Earth song?"

The Captain gave up and left to go drink their 400-year old heirloom spirits. They had never worried they were going to be the Onelle to finish off the 'drink in case of headache-inducing disaster' bottle but it looked more likely by the day.

Song: Dead Walk by RedHook Note: the remix featured here doesn't actually exist because I can't make it. Will update and link if that ever changes!

[cliopadra]

*laughs nervously* Izzy? Dead and gone for good? Naaaah, of course not, he’s just in the gravy basket…or on his way to get sea witch necromancied back by seagull Buttons. He’s ok, he’ll be back…he’ll totally be back 🥲.

[illustratus]

Charlemagne anxiously observes the approach of ships carrying Norman raiders by Alphonse de Neuville

[chuplayswithfire]

also in case it wasn't clear i am still edward babygirl teach's defense lawyer he did nothing wrong

[arsenicflame]

I love people who love competent Stede Bonnet but, for me, he's always at his best when he's at least a little bit cringefail

[miracleghast]

does somebody know what each streamer in pirates smp calls their chat cause for now I have

Seagulls: Acho's Chat, Tubbo's Chat

Sea Salt: Owen's Chat

Rats: Martyn's, Olives, and Eloise's Chat (her mods are cats which is cute!)

Magpies: Scott's Chat (Mods are Crows ?)

Parrots: Kyle's Chat

Ghost Parrots: Sausage's Chat

Adoring Fans: Krow's Chat

The Voices: Michela's Chat, Cleo's Chat

The Waves: Ros's Chat

Crabs: Oli's Chat

I can only watch so many perspectives, so please tell me about the ones I've missed or need to add, or if I've gotten any wrong!

I know this information is pretty trivial but I'd be fun to learn (especially after the war that happened after scott raided acho)

[silvadour]

"I shall become...the king of hell!" - Roronoa Zoro One Piece Ep. 1062 - "The Three-Sword Style of the Supreme King! Zoro vs. King!"

[oodlesofowls]

@alolanlan Ik I already replied to ur ask but pirates u say???? 👀👀

[comicchannel]

Funko Pop Animation One Piece Vinsmoke Sanji (Soba Mask Invisible) - 1277

Link para compra BR: *Possível importar pelo Link abaixo

Buy here: https://amzn.to/3xsAWeS

[howlerbat]

Honestly if you’d shown me these two with no context for Black Sails and told me that one of those characters is Long John Silver, a fearsome pirate legend who instigated a mutiny against captain Flint and the other is Billy Bones, his shifty first mate who inherited the map to his treasure, I would’ve never guessed which was which

[suffersinfandom]

Okay. At the risk of sounding really petty... I think that you can be critical of OFMD with little to no chance of being called a hater or a racist if you're not being a hater or racist. I would argue that calling the indigenous lead "a homicidal psycho" when he is not shown to be that isn't not racist or hateful.

Ed is not a psycho who tortures his whole crew for fun.

Big "Ed needed to be put down like a wild dog" energy.

No, that is not the message the show was sending.

Everything else was hate for David Jenkins and disdain for the "GBs" and their cult-like behavior.

Like, girl (gn). Friend. Have you considered that people are calling you a hater and racist because of the things you type? That maybe this is not something that everyone who is critical of OFMD faces? You go on and on about how the show and David Jenkins are abusive, racist, and ableist while grossly misinterpreting everything about Ed's character in season two in a way that feels kinda racist.

For the record, I have nothing against people who just don't like OFMD in a normal way or have actual, substantive, genuine criticisms to offer. Unfortunately, most of the criticism I've seen comes from people who have decided that it's "racist zionist slavetrader yaoi" or people who were obsessed with it up through S2E7, but then decided that the whole thing is morally reprehensible after the final episode dropped. There's nothing to be gained from entertaining people who hate the show without watching it or people who, like this individual from Twitter, demonize Ed in a way that canon absolutely doesn't support.

[fishlung8877]

Roomba has been executed by firing squad

[azurewildflight]

A Young and Adventurous Axe

[helenapsent]

There's not much time left!

How a game character got in among cartoon dudes - Jacques Fresco's riddle IT TAKES FIVE SECONDS TO FIGURE IT OUT!!! In fact, my entire childhood and adolescence is associated with this cow, so….. Why not?

[goldstargloww]

scott: guys, this is my stuff martyn: ooh! wait, stuff? i want stuff! shelby: :O there's things! water: wait, this is our stuff owen: oh, my stuff! scott: it's my stuff bek: maybe dai is in here… water: oh, my stuff is here bek: oh, this is my stuff! martyn: oh, my stuff! oh damn! bek: my- my stuff! MY stuff. shelby: oh this is my stuff! owen: my stuff! my stuff? water: my- my- martyn: it's myranium owen: MY stuff… shelby: mine? mine? shep: it's mine! scott: guys, i think it might be my stuff water: my stUff owen: …is, my Stuff shelby: my stuff! [owen and water laugh quietly] scott: where.. are we? bek: i think this might be my stuff owen: ohoh, yeah, it might water: we've been in there too long martyn: oh my god, if they show their faces again, they are done for, dude

[chocochococoffee]

why shinsei kamattechan is not on bandcamp aaaaaaa ive been buying (to support) my fav artists and they aint there augh auhh