#piers is gonna be the most complicated

[desired-misery]

Currently considering what Chris thinks about religion/death/souls now that I've decided that Leon is firmly atheist (out of hatred and anger), and Piers thinks he is agnostic but realizes that no, actually he has no idea anymore.

In a world with zombies, how fucked up does people's ideas of death/eternal damnation/salvation/morality/souls get?

To be thematic with Chris' characterization, Chris is probably not very religious but believes in some rough concept of God and Heaven and Hell. But conceptually... what does he think of people who turn into BOWs? Have their souls moved on already? Or are they trapped, waiting for someone to 'free' them?

Chris seems like the type to NOT want to think about those complications. Just that when good people die, they can be happy in the afterlife and see the people who passed on before them. Maybe he doesn't so much believe in a hell, but some days he wishes he does because surely some people deserve to suffer for longer than they did on earth. (Chris generally doesn't struggle with the idea of his own morality because Chris firmly believes in what he is doing for much of his life-- religious/moral crisis seems to be a post RE8 thing for Chris).

Leon gave up on religion and god. He sees too much hatred, too much anger, too much violence to want to believe that there is a higher power that started this all, that holds people accountable. It is wishful thinking to believe that bad people get what's coming to them and that good people get what the earn. And besides, if there was heaven and hell? Leon knows he's not going anywhere pleasant. (Leon gets extremely skeptical/critical of religion during his depression/alcoholism era around Vendetta time period. He has killed too many people, almost died too many times. He really really fucking hopes death is nothing at all so he can finally have some fucking rest).

Piers is complicated. He is young, but not that young. I'm making his mother very religious. Piers strayed from religion in the army, finally let her know that he doesn't believe when he was living on his own. She is disappointed (and constantly trying to coax him back, out of love because she wants him to be saved), but for a while Piers doesn't think he is religious anymore... except he is. Just non-denominational. He realizes that he wants to believe that the people he knows will be there in heaven. Especially his fellow soldiers that die in combat-- that there is something peaceful waiting for them on the other side. (Talking to Leon when they all think Leon is on death's door made Piers realize just how firmly he still believes in some concept of an afterlife, especially because of how bothered and upset he gets when Leon insists there is nothing but the end of his own existence waiting for him if Leon bleeds out). Not to mention, Piers desperately wishing that if there is a heaven after all, that he is there waiting for his mom when she passes so that she won't be distraught when she gets there.

[evvyyypeters-fics]

“She’s got a way. She got away”

Misty Day x f!reader

Warnings! Angst, maybe cringe writing idk, short, not proofread rlly, hopefully not ooc

Been obsessed w/ Subway by Chappell Roan (needs to be released ASAP PLS CHAPPELL PLS) so I decided to write Misty angst. This is probably gonna flop like my other angst but it’s ok

Misty Day fic also requested by @urlittlelisb0ngirl sorry

Required listening (I’m not responsible for your tears)

Lily of the Valley. Was that it? Or maybe it was Jasmine. That scent that always lingered on you.

I think I smelled it again, on a girl with your hair that walked past me today.

It’s like a sign, because I swear I could smell you on her. A reminder that there will be a fragment of you in my mind. The memories of us on the pier are fading, just like the ones of us eating ice cream on the ferris wheel–the first time you had ever been to an amusement park. It was also our first date. Do you still remember it?

I don’t.

The look on your face is blurred. Were you smiling? Did you even look at me? Did you drip ice cream on your blouse? Were we laughing? What time of day was it?

It’s all a blur to me now. I guess that’s a blessing and a curse, because as the memories fade, so does the pain. But as the pain fades, so do the feelings I had for you. There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to let go, but at this rate it’s inevitable. Are you ready to move on? Is that what you really wanted?

I think about you a lot, and I can keep holding onto the memories as long as I want, but I still watch them as they slip past my fingers. I wonder the most–if you still think about me? Do you regret it? Have you found someone else? Where was it that you ran away to again? Saskatchewan? You really were always a country girl at heart, weren’t you? If only I knew your new address, maybe I’d show up on your doorstep with a charming bouquet of flowers, maybe a boombox over my head and playing your favorite Stevie Nicks song.

I still have your jar of swamp mud you gifted me for my birthday, you told me it didn’t mean anything, that it was “just good wishes”. But I know how much it really means to you, and I can still remember the faint feeling of a burning in my chest from the way you gazed at me, and the way your fingers whispered over mine as you placed the jar between them.

If you asked me if this is what I wanted too, I don’t think I’d have an answer. I’d say “It’s complicated” and either way, it’d end the same as it always does. Sometimes I think I see you, when I’m in large crowds. Usually by the subway. I’ll see a blurry image of your face, maybe a familiar feeling of a smile on someone else, or the sound of your voice walking by. But of course, it never is. It almost drives me mad how your shadow follows me, even in the dark of the night. As if the stars are the twinkle of your eyes. I can’t escape your gaze, even when I can’t remember it.

The warmth and radiance of your presence haunts me. There was something about the way you carried yourself everyday, a true angel. I guess that’s why you were so unreachable. You were made from heaven, and I was born in hell.

On that fateful day, when the it came down to the last page in our story, you said to me:

“I don’t think this is where I’m meant to be. I’m not ready. I’m not ready for whatever this is.”

Well, I don’t think this is where I’m meant to be either. I’m not ready to give up on what we had yet, and it’s the worst torture to experience. At least I still remember the feeling that was loving you. But as the image of you in the corner of my eye becomes dark and darker, I’m starting to think this was how it was always meant to be.

Misty Day, you truly have a way. If only you didn’t get away.

Taglist (you can be added or removed at any time):

@fear-is-truth @xkaisxjazzxsingerx @lemoniiiiiii @jazz-berry @marchsfreakshow @colinzabelswife @dearlizzies @americanwh0rerstory @xrag-dollx @lacucarachapisser @alittleobsessedbitch @n0tonlin3 @bellalove69420 @songbird-garden

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.48 Juggling

She left me without words, and I laid there, breathless, unable to move, and seeing stars. I never felt anything like that before. I didn't know it was even possible to feel that good. Yasmine, however, did not feel as good and crawled off of me with the most exasperated sigh, and I understood why she was so upset me earlier; I didn't last long enough. I thought she may have wanted me to leave, but to my surprise and delight, she wanted me to stay so we could do it again. I couldn't upset her a third time and hoped to be better. Neither of us had dinner, so we ate and watched TV for a little while. Well...the TV was on. I had replays of her breasts bouncing above me, playing in my head on repeat. When she gave me that look, I was ready, heh. The second time was better, thank the Watcher. The third time, she was the one seeing stars.

In the morning, I got up around my normal time, found my clothes, and got dressed. She did everything short of chaining me to the bed to get me to stay, but I needed to get back home to process the night and prepare for dinner with another woman. I didn't say that to her, of course. I told her I had Harvestfest plans and thanked her for a fun night. She didn't give up easily, but eventually she let me go.

On the way home, I was in a fog, replaying the entire night from the pier all the way to Sixam. How was I supposed to have dinner with Chi Chi and her family with that experience on the brain? Would I even be able to stay present? At home, I found Dad sitting in front of the TV, as always. That was the first time I considered him and hoped he had recently woken up and wasn't sitting there all night worrying about me. I didn't exactly have time to give him a heads up.

"Hey, Dad."

"I see you're alright," he said.

"Yeah. I'm good. Sorry I didn't call."

"No worries. After a certain hour, I figured you were, uh...entangled."

Was I ever!

"It happened so fast."

He chuckled.

"It's like that sometimes. So...are you okay? Did you enjoy yourself?"

I plopped next to him, yawning and rubbing my eyes.

"I'm so tired."

Dad grinned at me.

"A very fun night, then."

I snorted.

"Yeah."

Despite how amazing it was, I still could not shake how Yasmine treated me. She embarrassed me, not once, but twice in one night. No matter what her expectations were of me, she didn't have to behave like a child and treat me like an idiot. I hated to think about it, but she wasn't really a nice sim.

"So..." Dad began, again. "This girl... Is this just fun, or are you taking things to the next level?"

"Just fun."

He patted me on the back.

"This is a huge step. I'm proud of you for getting out of your own way."

Dad had a way of making awkward conversations feel like everyday small talk, but how was I supposed to respond to that? Saying "thanks" felt weird, so I changed the subject and prepared for my exit.

"Have you spoken to Eleanor? Chi Chi didn't say when dinner was."

"No, I haven't."

"Alright. I'll find out. I'm gonna take a nap."

"Good idea," he said. "Hey, Luca?"

"Yeah?"

"I know we made it hard for you to trust yourself and others, but I want you to enjoy this time of your life. You'll never be this carefree again, and it would be a shame for you to miss out because of something that's not even related to you. You understand?"

"Yes, Dad."

How did he know? I never told him why I wasn't dating, and the most I ever said was that things were complicated. Then again, he was a very smart dude. And maybe I wasn't as mysterious as I thought. Either way, I appreciated him saying that. If he believed in me, I was one step closer to letting this thing go.

[lucaswarmhotchocolate]

Every time I think about physics and space too long I get a little clammy and nauseous and feel like maybe there is Something More out there. I’m gonna cut the crap and bare my soul here, be truly genuine for a minute. Space freaks me out. I love it but it terrifies me and when I realize how complicated things are and how little of it I understand my hands start to shake and my eyes get glossy. I am terrified of death I’m scared whenever I realize that even if I live a long life it will never be enough. I’m scared when I remember that I can die at any time here. Death has been a truly persistent anxiety for as long as I’ve been developmentally capable of processing the idea. When I remember that time is inseparable from space it makes me feel excited and still I am anxious. It’s not a bad thing I think this is maybe the most appropriate anxiety someone could have. I can’t escape it, which kind of sucks, but I’ve lived with it. I will continue to live with it. I will continue to marvel at the beauty of creation, the formation of planets moons solar systems asteroid belts galaxies the universe. It excites me and frightens me for the same reason, it’s terribly beyond my intelligence and I think I like that sometimes. I love feeling like I can’t understand something even though I can tell that I’m close. Like walking on ice. Lake Michigan has riptides that will pull you under and out and kill you. It Hassan’s bars that you can swim out to and suddenly stand on. It has ship wrecks and corpses and fish and enough invasive species to make your skin crawl. Deep enough that it makes your toes tingle thinking about the scale of it all. A lot of people have died in Lake Michigan because they don’t know about the riptides. Someone is always jumping off the pier and drowning. I went to a beach in April of 2020 and saw the waves licking houses tentatively like stray cats seeing if you’ll give them food. I saw the mountains and the towns on them from the road, everything was very small. I saw trees for miles and miles, barely noticed how high up we were because of the steady slope of everything. The Appalachian’s are very beautiful. Virginia smells nice. I don’t remember Florida. New York was busy and full of people and I hated visiting but I would love to live there someday. I see faces in doors and carpet and linoleum tiles and hear voices in humming electricity and the world is so beautiful. My nails keep growing. I keep writing because I hope that I will make a genuine connection with someone. I’m so lonely and tired but I think I will be okay someday.

[hyper-voice]

How does Flannery feel about Piers?

Ah..that's a little complicated.

She does adore him as a friend and a good person to talk to for casual conversation. Definitely idolizes the hell outta him,as his music has touched her heart during some rough patches of her life.

Most..of which she refuses to about unless you're REALLY close friends with her.

With a poster of him and his Pokémon by the end of her bed that she got from Kabu for one of her birthdays...like most fans,her mind does..tend to wonder towards the naughtier side of her thoughts. Though, she feels blessed to even be friends with him and able to get at least a small hug from Piers.

Despite the crush she has on him. She gonna tell him? Probably not.

Flannery respects Piers and his partner(s) and refuses to force her feelings upon him. Unless things somehow change, which she isn't asking for or holding her breath for.

The firey red head is more than happy to enjoy a platonic friendship with Piers. 🥰

Piers think Flannery is pretty cool. She doesn't go overboard with the hero-worship/celebrity blub, which he appreciates.

She knows her way around Pokemon, and the girl doesn't meet a stranger. It's a different kind of openness and confidence, one he definitely has never had. He does think she should believe in herself a little more, though.

[hb-writes]

🥛 maybe for Mia Cullen 🍼 maybe for Emmaline Grey…. Totally your choice and I absolutely love your writing!!!!!

Thank you so much! I answered this backwards at first so you're gonna get 🍼 and 🥛 for both Mia and Emmeline. 😅 I put Emmeline's answers under the cut because they come with trigger warnings for child abuse, neglect, and child death.

🥛 What is your OC's relationship with their biological parents like? What about their relationship with any non-biological parental figures?

Mia does not know her biological parents. Her mother passed away from complications in childbirth shortly after Mia was born. Her father was unknown to her for much of her life, but in The Language of Flowers, we learn that Carlisle did likely know who her father was (or at least, he had a strong suspicion).

As for her relationships with Esme and Carlisle, they're very clearly quite strong. They're really the only parents she's ever known. They're over protective and dote endlessly, and Mia loves her parents and genuinely likes hanging out with them. I truly imagine she would feel comfortable talking to both of them about anything.

🍼 What's your OC's first memory?

Mia has a lot of vague memories of everyday things starting at age 3 but her first really vivid memory is her 4th birthday. The Cullen family lives in Chicago at the time and they take her to the Navy Pier which had its grand reopening the summer of that year. They let her eat all sorts of junk food and ride the rides with her and Rose and Emmett both spend the day in competition trying to win Mia the biggest stuffed animal. Mia still has a couple of them in her room that she's kept over the years.

🥛 What is your OC's relationship with their biological parents like? What about their relationship with any non-biological parental figures?

Emma doesn’t have a relationship with either of her biological parents. Her father was never involved in her life until she's much older (more about bio dad is here in the one shot Opportunities). Emma remembers her mother and her mother's pseudo boyfriend/ boss from her younger years. It was not a good living situation by any means. There was child abuse and neglect involved, and she has had no contact with her mother, who willingly terminated her rights. Emma doesn't even know whether her mother is alive or where she is. She likely wouldn't see the woman even if she did.

Emma has a good relationship with her adoptive parents and is reasonably close with both Carrick and Grace. They are both people she feels safe and loved with. The relationships she has with them have helped her a lot in healing process.

And then there's Christian, who isn't her parent, but certainly acts like one most of the time. Emma's relationship with Christian is complicated because he's obviously quite over the top and can be a low-key asshole at times, but there's something that really resonates between the two of them, something about the similarities in their early childhoods, and Emma may push back against just about everything he says, but at the end of the day, the relationship she has with Christian is a positive one. For her, he serves as evidence that she can be successful and more than her past.

🍼 What's your OC's first memory?

Emma has several traumatic memories from her early childhood that haunt her to this day, including the death of her brother, Daniel (Danny). Her first memories are all of her brother, who was just a few years older than her. Danny did a lot of caretaking for Emma and he frequently protected her from their mother and their mother's boyfriends, and she has several small snapshot type memories of things like him playing with her or reading her bedtime stories or making food for them both even though he was still young himself.

Send me an OC question!

[amostfoolishgold]

"Oi! Foodfucker!"

Lazuli turns around, fully prepared to deny everything*. Instead she breaks out into a grin. The siren in the water has hair the colour of fire coral and eyes like the water itself and a tail that, were Lazuli in the water with him, would match hers pretty exactly†.

"The fuck are you doing here, Osprey?"

He gives her a grin that, to any other audience, would be considered dashing and rakish.

"Well you see I'm looking for my sister. About yea long, looks a lot like you but normally with a tail, fucked off a month ago to hang around with a bunch of humans, maybe you've seen her?"

Lazuli throws a pebble at him and he laughs.

"I'm allowed to have a life! Moving out is healthy you jackass!"

Lazuli may be aiming for anger but she's missing it by a mile.

"Yeah but humans? Really? You know it's not nice to play with your food, right?"

"Ok so first off, I'm not eating any of them, secondly-"

"That's worse, you get how that's worse, right?"

"Secondly, they aren't all human! Look at Neb!"

Lazuli gestures to the owl person standing next to her before abruptly remembering that Neb has been standing there the entire time watching this nonsense happen. Osprey's face does something complicated as he grapples with the simultaneous desire to watch Lazuli make a fool out of herself and to continue poking at her life decisions, but he graciously allows her a moment of silence to figure out what to do about it.

"Right. Neb." Lazuli smiles brilliantly. "Please excuse Osprey, he's not a people person."

Neb cocks their head in a way that Lazuli would find adorable under normal circumstances.

"But he is your brother, yes?"

"Absolutely not."

Neb's head immediately tilts over to the other side.

"You match the description of his sister, do you not?"

"Well yes, but hey! I haven't had a tail the entire time you've known me! Why would I be a siren?"

Lazuli puts every ounce of baffled offense she can muster into it. Neb just stares at her.

"Uh huh."

Lazuli makes a hand gesture that could really mean anything‡.

"Love I've seen your claws. And your teeth. For that matter I've seen you use siren magic. You're not a good liar."

Lazuli may have flushed at the pet name, but that doesn't stop her mustering her best heartbroken look.

"You think I'm bad at lying? How could you saw some thing so mean? And in front of my family too!"

Neb's feathers floof up not quite in Lazuli's favourite way, but it's still adorable.

"It's not a bad thing! You- I- it's not that you're a bad liar! I'm just- invested in observing you, I mean-"

Their explanation★ is cut short by Osprey's laughter, every bit as musical as Lazuli's.

"You realise she just admitted we're siblings, right? You don't need to play nice."

Lazuli turns a sharp look on him as she tugs Neb into a hug.

"Hey! I happen to like them bein nice to me!" She presses a kiss to the side of their head hen sticks her tongue out at her brother. "So nyeh!"

He rolls his eyes and Neb does their level best not to combust.

"Whatever, are you gonna drag me up there or am I gonna have to find some actual beach in order to bother your human friends?"

Lazuli sighs and reluctantly lets go of Neb. She crouches down at the edge of the pier and brandishes a hand towards Osprey.

"Come on then, I won't laugh too much when you fall over."

(*Up to and including having ever heard of sirens, having ever talked to a human, and even being on the faction island right now. The efficacy of such denial would require the recipient to be blind, deaf, totally unaware of their location, and exceedingly gullible

†Give or take a mark here and there

‡Well, most things. It has a certain "What do mean "uh huh" is that agreement because it better be" vibe to it, but that's not exactly a clear message to pick up

★if you can call it that)

---

Neb belongs to the wonderful @solsearchingnights! Hope I captured my beloved owl decently <3

And hey! Introducing Osprey! He's modelled after my irl brother in appearance and he & my brother's names are as related as mine is to Lazuli but that's about where the resemblance ends lmao. He's born from a line I wrote down somewhere about Lazuli's origins and "siren manners being as sharp as their teeth" or something along those lines and my mental decision that Lazuli has a loving pod out there who are baffled by her decisions. One day I will write Lazuli on a normal day on the isles because USUALLY she's delightful and flirty and a touch manipulative but that has not come up in anything I've written her in lmao. She keeps coming out all violent whoops. My fault for writing a character who should be eating humans.

[cadaverousdecay]

any cool gothic architecture facts im so interested id love to hear all the stuff you know

YEAH YES YES YEAH ABSOLUTELY

(im just gonna say a few things i know off the top of my head without fact checking anything so. be warned that the information may not all be 100% accurate)

so the name gothic comes from the goths, one of the tribes that invaded rome and brought about the fall of the empire. basically "gothic" was a synonym of barbaric and was seen as a degrading term when it was first used for architecture. it was too complicated, it was nothing like respectable romanesque architecture, it was medieval (gothic eventually started to mean medievalism, especially in gothic literature. trying not to get offtrack here cuz i LOVE gothic lit as well. i will just say that horace walpole had an infatuation with gothic architecture and remodeled his mansion strawberry hill in the gothic style. he also wrote a super influential novel sometimes viewed as the first gothic novel. he titled it a gothic novel in the second edition, in the first edition he published it as a genuine text from medieval italy.)

anyway, the big idea of gothic cathedrals were light. the buildings needed to be spacious and bright and make you look up and think of god and heaven etc etc etc. the way they were able to do this was a few different wonders of architecture that allowed them to build tall and thin. pointed arches were a big one, and are a defining trait of the gothic style. they allowed the weight to be distributed down and out so that thick walls were no longer needed to support them. ribbed vaults were another, specifically arched ribbed vaults, they allowed for lighter sturdier roofs and rested their weight on 6 or 4 columns or piers. the third big thing was flying buttresses. these were stone supports that transferred the weight outwards and downwards and supported the walls. atop the flying buttresses is where you'd often see gargoyles or grotesques (gargoyles spouted water, grotesques just sat there and looked pretty grotesque)

the less support that the walls needed meant that bigger and bigger windows could be put in, eventually rose windows which are circular and have diameters of sometimes 40ish feet. the stained glass windows brought in more light, and also allowed for stories to be told on them. and in medieval times when they were making these cathedrals, they took forever. most cathedrals took over 100 years to complete, many who commissioned or worked on them wouldnt see them to completion. they had so many people working on them, all specialists in their crafts. masons, carpenters, glassblowers, everyone had their own specific job. and they didnt have modern machines, they had wooden structures and pulleys and this one cool device that you walk in and it pulls stuff up let me see if i can find a picture

also, because so many people with specialized skillsets were employed for the job, you see fine details in everything, there are designs carved into stone and wood and put in places not everyone will even pay attention to. its beautiful.

anyway. i really love gothic architecture its so cool. i have some books on it that im excited to read more of :]

[disco-elysium-via-polls]

2. "I'm going in there, but not for the speed. I'm going after the most violent man in Revachol."

It's worth noting that the same number of people voted that we should go in there for the speed, but were split on whether we should lie about it.

CUNO - "Sure, whatever. If you survive, make sure to bring that shit back to Cuno. Cuno's almost out. You wouldn't like the Cuno when he's out."

"Cuno's violent dad's got Cuno's key, so you need to fuck your way in there. Go to the pier-side. Bang on the door till the cleaning gimp lets you in. That's how Cuno does it."

"Then you go to Room #12 and kick down the door. Police-violence-style. That's what Cuno does. And then it's action time: You're locked in the room with violent fuck head."

"That's it." He concludes. "Next time Cuno sees you, you better have his shit."

New task: Split a 'kilo' with Cuno

KIM KITSURAGI - "What the hell are you signing us up for here?"

"I'm going to kill Cuno's dad."

"I'm a bad addict-cop. And I'm going to get my fix."

"C'mon, Kim..." (Whisper.) "Obviously I'm not gonna take it. We need to get drugs away from a minor."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Cool." He stares at you over his glasses. "No, no -- really. Rock and roll."

After talking to Cuno, I decide to put a skill point into Visual Calculus, so we can have another look at those footprints.

No dice.

VISUAL CALCULUS [Medium: Failure] - Wow. Still not doing it. You're *bad* at this.

"This seems *really* important. Tracks on the scene. And I can't read them at all, lieutenant!"

(Whisper to yourself) "Why is this so complicated? I keep failing..."

Swallow it. Just go on.

VISUAL CALCULUS - Maybe you keep failing because you *suck*?

Damaged Morale -1

We are running drastically low on Morale. Still, we should check out that secret passage that Cuno told us about.

PILE OF ETERNITE - The pile of eternite looks stranger now that Cuno told you about his... pad.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - Because unless Cuno lied, you should just be able to pull the panels aside.

Pull the panels aside.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - There it is! You see a shabby little door.

+5 XP

KIM KITSURAGI - "So this is the shack Cuno mentioned... Let's take a look inside, then."

An empty tube of *Magnesolam* magnesium supplement.

The poster says GET OUT OF THE WAY -- OR GET FUCKED UP.

Cured pig's head. It looks mummified.

We pick up 0.40 real.

A silver plate with traces of bone yellow powder.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Be still, my beating heart... it's amphetamine, sweet amphetamine!

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant isn't studying the powder in the mirror. He's studying you.

[negans-lucille-tblr]

Sweet as Sugar (Sugar Daddy!Jensen Mini Series) - Part Four

Summary: Jensen’s not like the other sugar daddies - he doesn’t want to mix money with sex. But meeting Y/N might have him changing his mind.

Part Tags: kissing, angst, mentions of smut

Part WC: ±3.4K

A/Ns: Thanks for all the love on this fic so far! Send me an ask to be tagged in this series 🥰Thank you to @synmorite for beta'ing this series for me ❤️

Sweet as Sugar Masterlist // Jensen x Reader Masterlist

< Previous Chapter

Part Four

One Week Later

“Have you got everything?” Jensen checks, his own green eyes scanning over the hut one last time.

“I think so,” Y/N smiles softly, “though, I am secretly hoping that if I forget something then you’ll be forced to bring me back,” she smirks. Jensen chuckles and pulls her into him, kissing her forehead for a long moment.

“I’ll bring you back soon,” he promises. “But there are other places I wanna show you first.”

“Like where?” Y/N prompts excitedly. Jensen’s face gets closer to Y/N’s as she bites her bottom lip in anticipation, and he smirks softly.

“Anywhere in the world,” he whispers, before kissing her lips once.

“Anywhere?” she teases, keeping their lips a hair’s width apart. “How about that big comfy bed in the master bedroom?” Jensen scoffs, pulling away. “We’re gonna miss our flight,” he tells her, stepping out of the hut. God, that man is such a tease.

“We can’t miss our flight! It’s a private jet!” Y/N calls after him, before breaking into a slight jog to catch up to him. She slides her hand into his and their fingers link almost automatically as they walk the length of the pier back to shore.

Y/N has never liked leaving vacation to head home, but this one stings the most. She’d been living in a bubble with Jensen the whole week. No college, no work, no real life. Everything had been perfect – the perfect way to start their new found romantic relationship. It felt like a new chapter. They’d had an entire week to think about and focus on nothing but themselves and each other. Even if Jensen has been annoyingly gentlemanly the entire trip. Because despite them agreeing that ‘slow’ was now off the table, they’d done very little more than just make out and grind against each other like a couple of teenagers. After Jensen’s confession about the way he likes things in the bedroom, Y/N had thought that maybe they would at least be having some kind of sex already.

She’s not pushed for anything, because she doesn’t want to pressure Jensen to move quicker than he’s comfortable with. He’s always been very open about his lack of relationships, and maybe he just needs to take this at a slower pace. But also, part of her hasn’t wanted to push anything because she is also nervous about the prospect of bringing sex into their relationship. And once they cross that line, they can’t go back. And that’s a big step for both of them. Y/N has never really overthought having sex with someone, or been particularly prudish about it before, but the guys she’s slept with have never been over double her age and giving her thousands of dollars every week. As much as neither of them want it to, it is complicating things. But being here on this private island has helped them forget that side, and focus purely on their feelings for each other. So Y/N is more than a little apprehensive to be returning to normal life.

Jensen leads her up the steps to the small yacht that is taking them to the mainland airport, and Y/N glances around the island one last time with a heavy heart. She knows it’s stupid because they can come back, but going home is the last thing she wants to do. Jensen squeezes her hand and kisses her cheek, before stepping away and heading over to the couch to sit down. The ocean breeze is as welcoming as it’s been all week, but Y/N hugs herself anyway, mainly for comfort, stroking her own arm in reassurance that she’s just being melodramatic.

“Is college really that bad?” Jensen smirks. Y/N shrugs, and heads over to sit beside him. “Because you know you’ve got another several weeks before term starts again,” he adds. Y/N bites her lip and nods her head, knowing he’s right.

“I’ve got work, but I can come over whenever I’m free, and we can go out like usual, maybe fit in a few overnight trips. How do you fancy going to New York? Maybe Vegas? See the sights,” Jensen offers. “California? I can get us tickets to Disneyland.”

While all those places sound lovely, Y/N suddenly realises that she’s never actually been to Jensen’s place before. In fact, beyond the few things he’s told her on their dates and the way that he is with her, she really doesn’t know anything about Jensen’s personal life. She knows of a guy called Jared because Jensen’s mentioned him a couple of times, but has never actually met him or even know exactly who he is to Jensen. Y/N’s always assumed he’s his brother or maybe his best friend. Y/N doesn’t even know if Jensen’s got siblings. Or parents, or any family for that matter. How can she be so deeply in love with someone she barely knows?

“You said anywhere earlier, right?” she checks, taking a seat beside him.

“Right,” Jensen nods. Y/N bites her lip anxiously and clears her throat.

“What about where you live?” she asks.

“Austin? Baby girl, you also live in Austin right now,” he laughs softly.

“No, I mean…” Y/N clears her throat again, too nervous to make eye contact. “Your house… or apartment or whatever it is.” Jensen seems to stiffen next to her, and Y/N suddenly regrets asking. “Don’t worry about it, it was a stupid idea.” Y/N tells him, shaking her head.

“No, no, it wasn’t stupid,” Jensen reassures her. “It’s just that I’ve never taken a sugar baby to my place before,” he tells her. Y/N only feels even more crushed by his words. She frowns slightly, willing tears not to fill her eyes. “Y/N? I’m sorry. Hey, I’m not saying no, I’ve just never done it before, that’s all,” he explains. Y/N shakes her head, trying to tell him without words that that’s not why she’s upset.

“It’s not that,” she chokes out.

She gets up and tries to move, but Jensen grips her wrist and keeps her close.

“Y/N, talk to me, don’t shut me out,” he demands softly, rising to his feet to stand with her.

“It’s just… I thought I was more than that to you now.  But if I’ve got the wrong end of th–” Jensen cuts her off by kissing her, but she’s still angry at his words, so she pulls back. “This is hard for me too, you know? I–” He kisses her again, and Y/N’s still angry, so she pulls back. “Stop kissing me for a second!” Jensen pulls back a little, and just blinks at her, like he’s waiting for her to finally say her piece. She stares at him with her chest heaving for a second, and she wants to stay mad at him, but the longer she stares at him, the more she realises just how much she loves him. Which just isn’t fair. She wants to kiss him back, she wants to ignore this and pretend everything is fine, but it’s not.

“I thought we agreed that if we do this that it’s not like that between us anymore,” she reminds him.

“It’s not. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to call you that,” he sighs. “It’s not… it’s not going to be like that anymore,” he concludes.

“Are you sure? Because you’re talking about taking me all over the country and meeting up with me when you’re not working, and I mean… we’re not even having sex. It just seems like nothing is changing, except now we like to kiss each other.”

“No, it’s not… that’s not…” Jensen stops and sighs, and the longer he’s taking to justify himself makes Y/N feel more and more insecure. “Listen, maybe we just need some time in the real world to figure this out.” Y/N hates her own words, but she knows that it’s the sensible thing to do.

“Yeah,” Jensen agrees easily. “Look, I’ll take you out on the weekend, and we can talk about it,” he offers. “No,” Y/N laughs sadly, biting her bottom lip. “I meant… on our own,” she adds. Jensen looks hurt by her statement, and before he can reply, she expands. “Jensen, I feel you know so much about me, but I don’t know anything about you.

“Then we should be spending more time together,” he argues.

“Why? So you can spend money on me and make it all about me? Look, I know that’s what you like, and I’m not trying to be ungrateful, but it makes me really uncomfortable being in love with a man that–” Y/N cuts herself off this time, realising what she’s just said. “I– I mean, you know… dating a guy that urm… that I don’t know anything about.” Y/N feels her cheeks heat up, totally flustered and wishing she’d not said anything at all. Jensen reaches out to touch her arm but she pulls away. “I just want some time, Jensen,” she insists.

“Okay,” he finally nods. Y/N can’t help but let herself feel a little disappointed that he’d given up so easily, even though she has no right to, considering it’s literally what she’s just asked for. “Well, whenever you’re ready, I’m here. I’m always here.”

One Week Later

The post-vacation blues has been hitting Y/N harder than ever before, and she’s trying to ignore the fact that it’s not the vacation at all. It’s the fact that a week ago, she’d spent the whole week lazing around in tiny bikinis on a beach with unlimited food and cocktails next to a very attractive man that had taken a liking to kissing her. And now she’s been poking around her tiny apartment eating leftover take outs and trying (and failing) to pretend that the very attractive man doesn’t exist. Everytime she thinks about him it just hurts. She’s in love with him, no matter how ridiculous that seems, but it’s not that simple. There are so many reasons why she shouldn’t. For starters, he’s only a few years younger than her actual father. Secondly, he’s been giving her money and buying her expensive gifts after agreeing to an arrangement that absolutely and completely involved no sex or romantic feelings in any way. And finally, she’s not even sure Jensen’s on the same page as her. He’d called her his sugar baby, even after the week they’d spent together. She can’t fall for a guy that only sees her in that way.

Y/N is interrupted by a knock on the door, and when she answers, some guy hands her a piece of paper, smiles politely and then turns to head back down the hall. Y/N frowns at the folded over paper as she closes her door again and then opens it up.

Y/N,

I don’t know about you, but I’ve had enough time to figure some things out, and now I miss you. So, if you’re ready, I want you to get changed into something you already own – anything you want. And then I want you to walk downstairs and let the car take you to where I’m going to meet you. There we’ll have dinner and talk about our relationship and what we want out of it.

If you’re not ready, I’ll understand, you can just ask the car to leave.

Love, J x

Y/N draws a deep breath as she considers Jensen’s note. Trust him to do something elaborate and not just come to her door like any normal person who doesn’t have a billion dollars to waste. At least he’s not sent her a new dress or something stupid. The last thing Y/N needs is Jensen spending more money on her right now. Part of her wants to send the car away, but a bigger part of her misses him, and she wants to work this out with him. She begrudgingly sulks over to her wardrobe and looks through it. Usually when Jensen takes her out, it’s somewhere fancy and overpriced and she needs to wear something equally as fancy and overpriced to fit in. But she’s hoping he’s at least picked somewhere a little more toned down for tonight. She opts for a simple black dress that won’t look too out of place in any restaurant she imagines Jensen might opt for, and leaves her hair and make up fairly natural.\

She slips on some little black heels and grabs her purse, taking some deep breaths before heading down the hallway towards the car that’s waiting for her. She’s only slightly surprised and disappointed to find that Jensen isn’t inside, afterall the note said he’d meet her there. She tries to look out the window to figure out where they’re going, but when the roads turn to country lanes and all she can see is rolling fields and forestry, she’s lost. It doesn’t take them long to arrive, though, and when the driver finally opens her door, she peers out to see a large house ahead of her.

“Where are we?” she asks him, stepping out onto the paved ground.

“Mr Ackles’ residence, Miss,” the driver explains. Y/N’s eyebrows only rise higher. She’d assumed they were at some country club or maybe some posh – but quaint – hotel.

She tries to take it all in, but it feels impossible. It’s bigger than she could even imagine. He’s brought her to his house. Just like she’d wanted. She turns her head to see that Jensen is standing up the top of some stone steps, the large mahogany door behind him is open. He’s wearing a suit, but without a tie, and his hands are dug into his pockets. Y/N takes a deep breath and licks her lips before ascending the stairs to greet him.

“Welcome to my home,” he smiles softly. “How are you?”

“Confused,” Y/N admits. Jensen chuckles quietly. “Shall we?” he asks, referring to the open door. Y/N nods slightly and steps forward with Jensen by her side.

“What is this?” Y/N finally asks once they’re inside. “My house, I told you,” he smirks. “Well one of, I’ve got apartments in–”

“I mean tonight,” she interrupts.

“Well, like I said in my note, I’m ready to talk about us and what’s next. I’m assuming you are too, as you’ve agreed to come here.”

“I’m still figuring some stuff out, but I wanted to hear what you have to say,” she admits.

Jensen nods after a moment of silence and then gestures to the door on their left with an open hand. Y/N takes the hint to head towards it and open it, revealing a large dining room. The patio doors have been opened wide, the table set beautifully and fairy lights adorn a lot of the patio area, giving a warm orange glow.

“We’re eating here?” she checks. “If that’s okay with you?”

“Yeah, of course.” Jensen pulls out a chair and Y/N takes it, watching him round to his own seat. “Listen, Y/N, I wanted tonight to prove to you that it’s not all about fancy restaurants and buying you new clothes,” he explains. “I just wanted simple.” Y/N scoffs before she can stop herself. “This isn’t simple, Jensen,” she laughs, looking around at the room that’s no less fancy than the restaurants they usually go to. Y/N can only assume Jensen has a chef preparing their meal, too. “Well, this is simple to me. This is my lifestyle, Y/N, and I understand it’s not yours. That’s not an issue to me,” he explains, pouring them both some wine.

Y/N sighs, “it’s not that it’s an issue, Jensen.” She stops, and considers what she’s just said. Maybe it is. “You sent for a car to come and get me and bring me to this place that I honestly thought was some five star hotel, and look at this… this is incredible… and yet you say it’s simple.” Jensen doesn’t say anything, he just continues to listen. “I’m nowhere near your league.”

“I think I should get to decide that,” Jensen argues.

“Maybe, but I should get to decide how all this makes me feel, and the fancy dresses and the expensive dinners, and you talking about taking me to places that I’ve only ever dreamed about visiting… that still makes me feel like your sugar baby. And I can’t do both, Jensen. I can’t be your girlfriend and your charity case.”

Jensen takes a deep breath and nods his head. “You know I agree, Y/N. You know I don’t mix money with that stuff.”

“But you are…”

“I’m not,” he interrupts. “Look, me talking about Vegas and New York and Disneyland was me trying to be a good boyfriend and take you places. I want to experience the world with you. I thought they’d be cute, romantic little weekend breaks. It wasn’t about the money. It was about spending time with you. Honestly? It always has been.” “It just feels like the same thing to me.” “I’m not buying your love, Y/N. You know I don’t do that.” Y/N takes a moment to think about his words. “If you want to pay towards these things… if that would make you feel better, then do it.”

“I can’t afford that, that’s kind of the point,” she sulks.

“And that’s okay. Money isn’t an object to me, I don’t care about spending it. But I do care about being with you.”

“And the sex?” she presses. Jensen scoffs softly and takes a drink. “It’s taken me longer than I thought to get my head around the idea of having sex with someone I used to give money to.”

“So it’s not that you don’t want to…” Y/N trails off, feeling pathetic and needy for even asking.

“Oh I absolutely want to,” Jensen laughs, his cheeks darkening a little. Y/N giggles softly. “Me too… to both things,” she confesses. Jensen looks at her and nods in understanding.

“It’s going to be hard, you know?” she prompts after a moment, grabbing her own drink and taking a sip. “The sex?” he frowns. Y/N giggles again and shakes her head.

“Though, kinda hoping at least something is hard when it comes to that,” she jokes, making Jensen chuckle. “No, I meant… this… not just the money stuff, but the age difference too. I mean… My family doesn't know about you yet. My father will probably have a lot to say about it.”

“Yeah… it’s going to be interesting,” Jensen agrees. “Listen, this is new to me. Not just dating someone who used to be my sugar baby, but just dating in general. It’s been a long time. I feel like a teenager right now because I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. So I’m just asking for some patience.”

Y/N rises to her feet, overcome with the urge to get up. Jensen frowns and also stands almost immediately.

“Fuck, did I say something wrong again?” he sighs, “Listen, Y/N, I’m trying–” but Y/N cuts him off by rushing over to him and kissing him passionately. Jensen responds almost immediately and holds her, deepening the kiss by snaking his tongue into her mouth. When they finally pull back, Y/N can’t help but grin. She’s wanted that again since the island. And above everything else, she wants to really try this. “I guess we’re both out of our comfort zones here, but I wanna try,” Y/N tells him. “Me too,” Jensen agrees. “So… what is it you want to know about me?”

Next Part >

Always and Forevers: @foxyjwls007 / @waywardbaby / @tatted-trina6 / @lunarmoon8 / @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone / @warrior-angel / @impalaspixie / @sexyvixen7

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Sweet as Sugar Tags: @woodworthti666 / @redbarn1995 / @firefly-in-darkness / @the-fandom-trash-fairy / @joseyrw / @dumb-bisexual / @danneelsmain / @kyoutos-kisses / @bobbie3939 / @ajreturnstocringeyaccount / @mskatharinak / @morgunsilver / @multifandomlover121

[ickleronniekinsemotionalrange]

For Marcus pike “ cowboy like me” by taylor swift?

cowboy like me by Taylor Swift 🧣

pairing: Marcus Pike x gn!reader (no y/n)

word count: 1.6k

tw: ANGST, alcohol, heartbreak, curse words

summary: Marcus Pike one shot based on cowboy like me by the magnificent Taylor Swift

A/N: dear anon i am so very very very sorry for the amount of time this has taken me to deliver. november was absolutely nuts, i had like 4 different essays to hand and it was super complicated to find the time to write the taytay requests. but here it is, i hope you like it -- i went with angst here bc i'm decent at angst and also because the song itself is pretty angsty. hope this doesn't disappoint you too much. sending you much love.

thank you all so much for reading!

RED (TAYLOR'S VERSION) CELEBRATION 🧣

it should’ve been fine really, except it wasn’t. you loved your work but this was definitely the part you dreaded the most, the socializing. you weren’t exactly a social butterfly so you tended to gravitate around your true (old) friends instead of finding new people to talk to. you were a typical ‘suffer-in-silence’ kind of person.

so when your boss told you about the gathering in celebration of the FBI’s art squads, the lunch you had eaten only minutes earlier was not sitting great. you tried excuse after excuse but she wouldn’t give it up.

“look agent, it could be hell on earth for all i care, you are coming. and that’s an order, now please go back to work” she said pursing her lips and motioning the door with her chin to show you the way out.

you should’ve seen this coming, for six years you had avoided this biennial event. your first year you joined mere days after the celebration happened. the third year you pretended to be dying from a cold in bed (couldn’t believe they actually believed you, your acting sucked). the fifth year it got canceled because, well, global pandemic. so this year, it was useless to even bother, you had to go.

and the tennis court was covered up

with some tent-like thing

the party was held in DC, so you had to fly there, book a hotel and suck it up (all courtesy of the FBI thank gods). it was bigger than what you had expected, held in an enormous private club. chandeliers dangling from the ceiling, delightful live music and a covered tennis court used as a dance floor.

you hung with your art squad, but you weren’t particularly close to any of them — your best friend stayed home with an actual cold she couldn’t seem to shake — the night was slow, uneventful even. you sat at the bar, sipping on your martini watching your piers have a nice time, bubbly laughs of joy erupting from them, bodies too filled with excitement to hold still.

and as you were looking down a pair of feet appear before you, you look up to see a hand as well.

and you asked me to dance

but i said “dancin’ is a dangerous game”

for the first time in your life, touching a stranger felt oddly comforting. it must have got something to do with that charming smile and the warmth of his hands on your body.

“i take it you’re not from around here?” he spoke softly.

“that is correct, agent” you joked with a small smile, he chuckled.

“New York art squad” you said trying not to get too lost in the way he looked at you.

some slow, soft country song started. you got closer.

“California” he nodded, pointing his thumb to himself.

oh, i thought

this is gonna be one of those things

{now i know i’m never gonna love again}

“with whom do i have the pleasure to be dancing?” he asks softly in your ear as you swing gently, bodies still close together.

you smile to yourself and give him your name, almost in a whisper, almost like it’s a secret.

“Pike” he whispers back, another secret, one you’re dreaming to keep.

and you danced the night away, swinging back and forth to soft country love songs and jumping around to that one “hater’s gonna hate hate hate hate hate” song everyone loved.

you had some tricks up your sleeve

going back to New York the next day was incredibly hard. you never expected to feel the kind of void you were feeling, if anything, you thought you were gonna feel relieved after such a long trip for something you thought you’d hate. your body was dreading the idea to leave DC so soon after meeting such a special gentleman. a cultivated, gentle, angelic FBI agent who had managed to steal your heart before you even realized it.

so you left with his promise heavy on your heart.

“i will look for you” he said the same morning on the cab you shared to the airport. you nodded believing very single word that fell from his lips.

a gentle kiss was shared before you parted ways. you thought about it the whole flight home. he was a delicately written love song stuck in your head.

and then came the wait. a couple of days passed, you tried not to worry. some days turned into weeks. weeks turned into a month. a month full of hope that quickly became a very sour taste in your mouth. a month of complete silence on his behalf.

takes one to know one

you’re a cowboy like me

and one day the wait was over, you decided if he wasn’t going to look for you, you were gonna look for him. after all, maybe he felt as nervous around you as you did around him; belly full of butterflies whenever you thought of his smile.

you ask the right questions to the right people. get your best friend to help you find this mysterious agent Pike.

finding him was fairly easy, you were all FBI agents. finding the courage to speak to him however, was another story.

but you muster up all the nerve you can find in your bones and ring his phone. he doesn’t answer.

you try again later that day, still no answer. you leave a message hoping he’d call you as soon as he’d heard it.

now i’m waiting by the phone

like i’m sitting in an airport bar

remembering that day at the airport, it all felt so different. he seemed just as sad as you to be leaving, holding your hand in his, giving you soft squeezes as he looked you in the eye.

was it all in your head? was this one sided? were you not good enough?

you’re a bandit like me

eyes full of stars

he did promise you countless things that night in DC, things you believed. maybe you should’ve known better.

after all, you didn’t know him at all. he may pass as the romantic type of guy, but what if it was all a ruse to gain your trust?

no, no. stop with all of these exaggerations. you’re overthinking this.

never thought i’d meet you here

it could be love

you were both grateful and disappointed to find love in such a place. you were grateful to have found someone as incredible as agent Pike (who’s name you learnt was Marcus). but you were also extremely anxious with the whole situation, you were falling in love with someone you didn’t even know.

i could be the way forward

and i know i’ll pay for it

you hang by the phone the whole week. hoping and praying he will reach out to you. you long to hear his voice, this silence is killing you.

one bright day a flight to Sacramento is planned for your art squad — you’d have to collaborate with Pike’s on a very big case. you can’t help but feel joy at the thought of seeing his bright smile after almost two months.

but then on the plane you hear some whispered words from your coworkers.

“yeah, you know that agent in our squad? the quiet one? well turns out they have been seeking out agent Pike back in California” the other agent nods “but here’s the catch, they don’t know he’s dating some other FBI agent… i think her name’s Lisbon or something… you know, the one that works with the crazy smart guy”

your heart sinks, drowns, breaks.

you shake your head. it can’t possibly be true.

and the skeletons in both our closets

plotted hard to fuck this up

the rumors are true.

the first thing you see as you get settled in the art squad offices is how he’s holding her close, just as he did with you only a month prior. he doesn’t even notice you until she leaves. the color completely drains form his face, it was clear he expected anyone but you to be there, based on what you told him about your dislike for office trips.

you lock eyes with him. he can see you holding back the tears and he wants to reach for you but you aggressively wipe them off your face and move as far away from him as possible. the meeting starts and you swear you won’t be anything but professional your entire stay.

now you hang from my lips

like the gardens of babylon

you avoid him at all costs when he tries to talk to you. there are hundreds of things left unsaid, things you won’t bring up to him, things you will forever keep to yourself. feelings you will try to erase even though they’re written in permanent ink.

forever is the sweetest con

your last day in Sacramento arrives. still not a word spoken between the two of you. still he is dangling from every word Lisbon says.

you wonder why we love people we can’t have. why you loved Marcus when he loved Lisbon and she loved Jane. you wonder how he was so oblivious to this. you wonder how you’re going to put your heart back together, mend the broken pieces.

you share one last look with him before you leave. the tears start swelling in your eyes once more, his eyes are filled with regret. you give him a small fake smile and nod. ‘it’ll be alright’ .

and i’m never gonna love again

you turn around and don’t look back, leaving Sacramento for good. leaving your hopes at his feet. leaving Pike forever.

i’m never gonna love again.

[aiyexayen]

So uh that essay about how Wei Ying takes after Yu Ziyuan? I am LISTENING

There were two things that really made me start to think about this, one was this tweet which says, "You know what we don't talk about? Wei Wuxian getting his cry-laughing from Madam Yu" and this incredible ChengXian video which sets their relationship to the tune of When Doves Cry and wrecks me every time I watch it (I just watched it now when I went to get the link and I'm whimpering).

As to the first matter:

seems fairly conclusive.

The second matter:

maybe I'm just like my father, too bold maybe you're just like my mother-- she's never satisfied

Was there this much meta thought put into one line of lyrics in a video set to When Doves Cry? Hard to say. There is now, though! Because dang, what a line. Essay under the cut.

There's a (valid) tendency to pull out the ways Jiang Cheng is more like his mother, and the ways Wei Wuxian is more like Jiang Fengmian, especially where their relationship is concerned.

Jiang Cheng wants proof of care through passion, through a willingness to fight. He will provoke and poke at things better left lying, with no shame and no regard to who else is around, dredge up old hurts and old grudges and old matters even if they're long buried or long forgiven, so long as he thinks it will get him the reaction he's looking for.

He wants Wei Wuxian to fix things by rising to the bait, rising to the challenge, giving him pushback when he says blatant lies, showing him that his shige still thinks he's worth it.

This is terribly unhealthy, of course, don't do this at home kids, but it's one of my core Jiang Cheng Truths.

Jiang Cheng shows that he cares in turn by being willing to fight, by pouring his emotion out even if those often end up as negative expressions. He's messy and unrestrained when he feels things, not all of which is from his mother--a lot of that is just Jiang Cheng--however, you can see the way he tries to rein in his emotions when he's embarrassed about caring or is trying to pretend that he doesn't care. Whether it's pretending to shrug off Wei Wuxian and walk away when they have a problem, or trying to rein in his temper at Lan Wangji on Dafan Mountain. Because from his mother, he's internalised the message that to engage in the fight is proof of care, so the opposite is also true.

And oh, when he hurts, he seeks to hurt back. That's very Yu Ziyuan of him.

Wei Wuxian, meanwhile, frequently defaults to calming and placating with Jiang Cheng. Not as much as Jiang Yanli does--but more on her, momentarily. We see Wei Wuxian complain at Jiang Cheng to not get riled up, tell him he's being stubborn and just to accept the peace offering, etc. The difference is that, at first, with Jiang Cheng, a lot of that is just general pouty childishness and Wei Ying-ing, general sibling shit.

Plus, he was still willing to fight/express himself fully. They fought a lot. He always ran after Jiang Cheng, always roped him into expressing himself, always let Jiang Cheng fight it out. He understood, at least intuitively, and he didn't back down. The benefits of having grown up together, and of being an older one/middle sibling in the dynamic.

But when things really started to break down between him and Jiang Cheng, when the conflict was much bigger, much more grown up, much more real, Wei Wuxian started modeling his behaviour even more on Jiang Fengmian in regards to Jiang Cheng, possibly seeing more of Yu-furen in Jiang Cheng and responding the way that felt natural.

(Also, a lot of his own guilt and depression/apathy/intent to die and assorted other issues came into play at roughly the same time.)

Thus, we see Wei Wuxian start to turn down Jiang Cheng more often, and back off. He shrugs it off or rejects it when Jiang Cheng reaches out, and he stops reaching out himself. He tries to placate Jiang Cheng, tries to defuse him, tries to send him away. Some of this is because he cares and is trying to show he cares by taking himself out of the situation; some because he's trying to maintain his lies; some because he just doesn't have the energy to deal with this anymore.

After Wei Wuxian is resurrected, by which point he's done what he perceives as the worst things to Jiang Cheng, this intensifies. Jiang Cheng provokes him beyond reason, lashes out, starts fights, sneers, and Wei Wuxian almost rises to the bait but he stops himself. He lets Jiang Cheng be angry and he shrinks himself down, he backs away, he disengages. A decent portion of this is Wei Wuxian himself, and his faulty perspective on the situation and on Jiang Cheng's anger and complexity of emotion and intent. Some of it is lingering relationship modeling off of Jiang-shushu and Yu-furen's relationship. Either way, he's definitely "being the Jiang Fengmian" in the situation.

Additionally, Wei Wuxian tries quite actively to model himself off of Jiang-shushu's good qualities, which is understandable given that this was his primary benevolent adult figure and liked him quite a lot. We see it in the way Wei Wuxian teaches, the way he instructs with archery, the fact he prioritises archery to begin with, the way he expresses kindness the way it was expressed to him, through encouragement or noticing people who are down and out. Things that Wei Wuxian, at least, attributes to Jiang Fengmian's character (I'm trying so hard not to make this a Jiang Fengmian salt post) even if a lot of that is just his own outlook on life at the end of the day.

But all of these kids were around both of these parental figures/people of authority. This is most clear in Jiang Yanli. We see the way she's become a mediator figure between her parents when they're upset with each other and understands them both.

She takes all the kind intent and patience and willingness to placate and calm from her father, and adds in the knowledge and understanding needed to actually use it interpersonally. She's more open with communication, can identify the heart of an issue, and effectively diffuse a lot of tension. She has middling success with this with regards to her parents, but a lot more success with her brothers. It helps her see eye to eye with Wei Wuxian, and share that spark of playfulness between them too. It helps her understand why Jiang Cheng says things the way he does, and what he means.

We also see Jiang Yanli reveal herself to be the steely, fiery daughter of Zi Zhizhu when someone attacks what is hers. She is just as much her mother's child.

So, too, Jiang Cheng is his father's son. I think this is true much more when he grows up and inherits the sect and has held it for some time in the wake of tragedy. We see evidence that he's become a well-regarded leader, and for all we see cool, flashing, calculating glares and bitten-back sneers, we see worried disciples fussing over his health. We see a mild manner that was learned, and an authority that has accrued with time, and a self-assuredness when dealing with his peers that seems more modeled off what we see of Jiang Fengmian than of Yu Ziyuan.

Jiang Cheng is a match for Zidian, through and through, but he is also steady and determined and bold, good at making and keeping allies, or else how could he have achieved the impossible in rebuilding his sect? He learned to take some of his mother, some of his father, find something left over of himself out of the wreckage of his life, and meld it all together.

That brings us to Wei Wuxian. I had, at the time of first seeing that tweet, showed it to a friend who said:

Are we gonna talk about how Wei Ying gets his cry-laugh from her? Are we gonna talk about how he learned that intense glare from her, too? Or his tendency to act swiftly and decisively even when it might not be the actual best course of action? Or his violent protectiveness of his siblings?

Inspired. And yes, we are.

Yu-furen was a figure of absolute strength in Wei Wuxian's life. Uncompromising, unyielding, impressive as hell. She had the capacity to inspire deep loyalty and was fiercely protective over things that were hers. Her son, her daughter, her family's reputation, her sect, her home, her disciple. (Yes, even Wei Wuxian was hers, too, she made quite the point about that.)

Wei Wuxian is very easygoing. But when he decides something is his, whether that's a duty or a person or whatever, it's his to protect, it's his to do anything for, even cause a scene, even start a war, even lose allies or his own life. It's one surefire way to get him to fight no matter what headspace he's in.

You can see Jiang Cheng realise/remember this in real time in the Ancestral Hall, when he can't get a rise out of Wei Wuxian by talking about himself and his family, and that stings, but he's desperate to get a rise out of him somehow, and immediately he sets in on Lan Wangji. And it fucking works. That's what gets Wei Wuxian to almost fight him. If he'd posed a real threat, and if a whole bunch of other complicated psychological shit wasn't part of the mix for everyone involved, there would absolutely have been a fight.

Wei Wuxian latched onto the Wens, yes, and they were his, too, but they weren't the only ones. Lotus Pier was his, as was Jiang Cheng. Yunmeng Shuangjie was not just a pipe dream, and Wei Wuxian's loyalty was not simply easy to sway. Yunmeng Jiang's strength, their reputation, their future, and Jiang Cheng's along with it were always on his mind.

He lied, and fought, and even left and took himself out of the picture to that end. For Jiang Cheng, and for his ability to carry on. In so many ways, Wei Wuxian absolutely took so much of his perspectives on that from Yu Ziyuan, for better or worse.

Uncompromising, unyielding, even when turned on himself. Never satisfied, always pushing for more, for answers, for solutions, for the right path, even in his own frequently easygoing and curious ways. Unhesitating, across the board. Even if it meant his own life, or his core.

There is nothing wrong with hesitating. Hesitating, worrying, being uncertain, trying to think first, trying to find the right path, and then being able to find it, or choose it anyway, is such an act of courage. That's a quality Jiang Cheng has in droves. He hesitated, when he saw the Wen soldiers coming for Wei Wuxian. And then he chose to sacrifice himself. For Wei Wuxian, there was no hesitation whatsoever. No forethought. No choice, really. Just go. I think that's very Yu Ziyuan of him.

I had to go digging to find that message my friend sent me, and I'll conclude with my response:

If we're going to talk about how Wei Wuxian is like Yu-furen, then we'll have to talk about how Yu-furen knew that. Or at least, the only parts that she ever had cause to see in him while she still lived. How he was hers even if he wasn't her son. How Fengmian's lazy favouritism was intolerable in this way, too, in the way it sowed discord where there didn't need to be any, and was a barrier between her and the things that should have been more fully hers. How the farewell at Lotus Pier was more of a betrayal than she intended. How she thought she and Wei Ying met over more even ground at that moment, because she knew he loved Jiang Cheng as much as she did, in the way she did. How she expected more from him than for him to give parts himself up in such a horrifying way. How she underestimated the actual damage that had been done. And if she'd survived to see it, she just might have been truly horrified.

[robininthelabyrinth]

im currently obsessed with the thought of a role swap au where jiang fengmian and madam yu are the ones who die young and cangse sanren and wei changze are like "welp! gonna settle down in lotus pier and raise a couple bonus kids" like sdkfjlksdj just imagine how different the yunmeng siblings would turn out, especially jiang cheng

“Well, shit.”

Cangse Sanren stopped trying to wrestle Wei Ying into his shirt – he’d decided that he was a monkey today, with the associated claim that monkeys did not require clothing – and turned to look at her husband. She’d managed to crack open that reserve of his more and more as the years went by, but he still tended not to swear anywhere outside the bedroom, and never in front of Wei Ying.

“What happened?” she asked. “I assume it’s something a bit more of a problem than the usual night hunt requests.”

“Something happened at the Lotus Pier.”

“Oh?” That sounded troublesome, so she put Wei Ying down and lightly kicked him in the ass, sending him tumbling head over heels and giggling madly the entire time. “We’ll settle this later, you hear me? Now get lost or I’ll eat you, little cabbage.” He ran off at once.

“Now,” she continued, putting the shirt aside. “Lotus Pier. What does Fengmian have to say?”

Her husband maintained a semi-frequent correspondence with him on behalf of both of them – she liked Jiang Fengmian, really, and she was happy to hear from him. It’s only that she liked being free more.

“Nothing,” Wei Changze said, and that’s when Cangse Sanren noticed that her husband was an unhealthy shade of pale. “He’s – he’s dead.”

“What?” She snatched the letter away from him. “What – him and Yu Ziyuan both? Impossible! They’re – they’re sect leaders. Of a Great Sect! What happened?”

“We have to go back at once,” Wei Changze said. “I’m sorry, I know it’s not your favorite place –”

Nowhere that tried to trap her was.

“– but I owe everything to him, and his children...the rest of the world is going to eat them alive.”

Cangse Sanren was weak when it came to children, especially those around the same age as her own.

“Oh, fine,” she said. “I’ll go get Wei Ying ready, you start packing, we’ll head out at once.”

“I don’t know what we can do even if we do go,” he said, folding the letter and putting it away. “I was a good friend of Jiang Fengmian’s, but in the end I was still only a servant –”

“Enough worrying,” she said. “First we need to get there.”

By the time they got there, little Jiang Cheng – even younger than her Wei Ying – had already learned to sit on the sect leader’s seat, but not enough to hide the sheer terror in his eyes, and Cangse Sanren was immediately incensed by the very sight of it, pulling out her horsetail whisk and applying it to the leeches that came to a situation like this and saw in scared child only as an opportunity for power.

“Dear, please stop beating all the Jiang cousins,” Wei Changze said. “It’s not going to change anything. The ceremony’s done; he’s sect leader whether we like it or not.”

She bared her teeth to show what she thought about that. Stupid human rules; sometimes she didn’t like them one bit.

“How about you go introduce Wei Ying?” Wei Changze suggested. “And before you say that I’m just trying to get you out of the way to reduce tension in the political situation: you’re absolutely right, I am. Please go anyway – I’ll call you back if there’s anyone else that needs a beating.”

It was very nice to have a husband that understood her.

Cangse Sanren quickly figured out that Jiang Yanli was Jiang Fengmian’s daughter in all the important ways, being calm, easy-going, and generally capable of handling things without becoming overly distraught, and Yu Ziyuan’s daughter in the sense that there was steel in her spine when she stood in front of her younger brother and interrogated Cangse Sanren as to her intentions.

It was, in Cangse Sanren’s private opinion, an improvement on them both.

Jiang Cheng, though – he wasn’t what she’d expected at all, not the way Jiang Yanli was. Maybe it was just the trauma, but he was softer than she’d expected, more vulnerable, more introspective; he took everything seriously, frowning more than he smile, always paying careful attention to everything everyone said even though he was neither especially studious or naturally talented. Every once in a while, his temper would get going and he’d be vicious, lashing out with a poison tongue that was mostly just cute because he hadn’t learned to use it properly, but it was very obvious to an objective observer that he only ever reacted that way when he felt hurt.

No matter what, though, he always tried very hard.

Jiang Fengmian would have hated you, Cangse Sanren thought, and abruptly felt guilty about the thought. Based on her understanding of the man’s character, though, the way he liked people who were free and lively, people who smiled no matter what the circumstances, people who didn’t make trouble or stick too closely to the rules, the way he disliked those that were the opposite to that – no, she was being uncharitable to a dead man’s memory.

Even if Jiang Cheng wasn’t the type of person Jiang Fengmian would have liked best, he was still his son.

“My husband was your father’s servant,” she explained, kneeling down to look at little Jiang Cheng. “He used to help him with all the things he had to do when he first became Sect Leader, and now he’s here to help you.”

“Where were you before?” Jiang Yanli wanted to know, her arms protectively around Jiang Cheng’s shoulders.

“Travelling,” Cangse Sanren said, even though she knew the question had been more about why they hadn’t been there. “Would you like to meet Wei Ying?”

That right there was the best testament to their characters she could find: they liked Wei Ying at once, and he liked them in return.

By the time Wei Changze came to find her, Cangse Sanren had already resigned herself to staying in the Lotus Pier for the short term future, with an option out for long-term, and she told him as much.

“It’s a bit more complicated than that,” he said. “I was speaking with Sect Leader Nie – how much do you know about war?”

Cangse Sanren blinked. “I’ve heard bad things?”

She appreciated that he asked, though. After this long, he recognized that there were certain things one simply did not encounter when one was raised on a celestial mountain by an immortal that was only sometimes a person.

“We may not be able to avoid it, if we stay,” he said. “And – I have to stay. I owe it to Jiang Fengmian. But if you wanted –”

“Too late now,” she said cheerfully. As if she’d leave him! “I introduced Wei Ying, and now he has a shijie and a shidi; he’d be heartbroken if we abandoned them. We’re in here for the long haul. Now…tell me about this war. Who would be the most efficient first kill?”

[adorehs]

tryst

Hi! This is the first fic I fully completed and I wanted to post it even though I don’t like it much. I know the writing is underdeveloped and the ending is absolutely horrible (tried to expand but everything just seemed bad) but I tried my best. I haven’t written anything for fun in years so I thought I’d give this a try and post it so I can get feedback and improve!

This is my entry for @bfharry’s #boyfriendathon!

Summary: Y/N and Harry struggle to keep their new relationship hidden on a group trip to Ibiza. (3.3k words) 

Warnings: poorly written fluff and smut 

The four of you had been planning the trip for the past year, doing extensive research and saving up for the airfare and cost of living for your week trip in Ibiza, and you had finally arrived on the warm island after a day of travel. As excited as you all were and as much as you would like everything to be perfect, the trip had already started off with a few extra complications. 

For starters, your rental car didn’t have a large enough trunk to fit in all the suitcases everyone had brought along, so atop yours and your friend Tara’s lap you held a suitcase each and the gravel road made the thirty minute drive to the hotel practically unbearable. 

Along with that, you had arrived a few hours before your rooms were ready, so you and Tara stalled in the lobby as Harry and your other friend Niall went to a cafe to pick up a few essentials for everyone. 

When the boys had arrived with your coffees, the receptionist had informed you that your room would be ready in about fifteen minutes so you four sat down with your bags in a huddle around a small table, speaking in hushed voices as you waited for your keys. 

“Didn’t they say it would be ready by noon in the email?” you ask, pulling out your phone for proof. 

“I think so,” Niall agreed, “Maybe one of ours isn’t ready so they're giving us both at the same time,” he suggested. 

Harry groaned in response, “Still, I want to take a fucking nap before we go to the beach.”

You all murmur an agreement as you heard your name being called by the receptionist. You glance at your friends before heading over to the young lady to retrieve the keys for everyone. 

The process was quite quick since you had attempted to check in earlier and had given her all your information then, and soon you had four sets of keys to two hotel rooms. 

“Harry and Niall in 1406, me and T in 1408,” you hand everyone their keys, “They’re adjoined but you still have a separate door.”

“Thank god,” Niall exclaims before hurriedly transporting himself and his bags to the elevator, “I’m exhausted,” he comments when you all join him a few moments later. 

//

A few hours later, you all head to the nearest beach to relax. Niall and Tara led the way as you and Harry walked slowly behind them, his hand resting on your lower back as he whispered in your ear telling you how good you look. 

“Harry,” you giggle softly when he grabs your hand, “Come on you know we can’t…” you trail off, looking up at your friends, making sure they haven’t seen Harry’s display of affection. 

“Yeah,” he agrees with a sigh, “I hate lying to them but they would freak out.”

You and Harry had recently started dating (after a few dates that you promised didn’t have to go anywhere). You both knew that if Niall and Tara found out, they would freak out with the presumption that the group could fall apart in an instant. 

You dropped his hand and sidestepped as you saw Niall peer over his shoulder looking for you both, “Hurry up!” he called out, making you speed walk to catch up with your friends. 

By the time you had caught up with them, you were practically on the beach, so you set down your towels under an umbrella someone had left there before and you strip yourselves of extraneous clothing. 

“I’m gonna go look for somewhere to rent a surfboard, you guys want one?” Tara asks. 

“I’ll just come with, I need one,” Niall decides as you and Harry shake your heads no.

“Okay we’ll be back,” Tara calls out as she begins roaming the beach with Niall. 

Harry smirks lightly and throws his arm over your shoulder as you reach for the sunscreen beside you, “Alone at last,” he sighs dramatically. 

“Shut up,” you shrug his arm off you and replace it with a palm full of sunscreen, “Get my back, please?”

Harry nods, taking the bottle from your hand and squirting some sunscreen onto his hand. He moves your bathing suit straps down your shoulders slightly and you shiver at his gentle touch. Beginning at your shoulders, he massages the sunscreen in, relieving you of hours of stress. You moan lightly at the way his hands work at the crook of your neck and he chuckles under his breath. 

His hands lower themselves across your back with a suitable amount of pressure with every movement, making goosebumps rise on your skin, contrasting with the hot air of the beach. He unhooks your bathing suit and you yelp, quickly holding onto the cups ensuring you wouldn’t flash anyone walking about. “Relax,” Harry advises, “It’s only sunscreen.”

You look over at him with an unimpressed look plastered across your face, “It’s only sunscreen,” you mock him, sticking your tongue out childishly, “This is where it starts, but watch, next time there will be no sunscreen,” you predict. 

“Okay, you got me,” he smiles at you, rehooking your bathing suit and helping you shrug the straps back onto your shoulder. Harry taps your shoulder when you’re situated and kisses you lightly on the nose and then fully on your lips, “Will you get my back?” 

You smile and nod fondly at your boyfriend before shuffling on your knees so you are behind him. Following a similar process to Harry, you massage the sunscreen into his shoulders and press lightly on his back, feather a few kisses on his shoulder blade when you’re done, but scrunch your face together in disgust at the sour sunscreen that found its way into your mouth. 

He laughs lightly and kisses you, holding onto your chin, careful not to transfer the sunscreen onto his tongue as well. “Have I told you how sexy you look in this?” he asks between kisses.

You smile, “A few times,” before breaking out of his hold and reaching for a book you had brought along with you.

He studies you as you open the book, watching how your mouth draws a straight line and your forehead creases slightly as you concentrate on the words. Just as he is about to bother you again, he hears Niall’s laugh. Harry’s head snaps in the direction and he sees Tara and Niall laughing and pointing at a seagull who keeps trying to run away from an inquisitive kid. In both their arms, they hold surfboards and they have changed into wet suits. 

“The stand is over there,” Tara points to a building lined with surfboards, “You can change there too, if you want to come later.”

Harry nods, and through his peripheral vision he can see you do the same, “I’m gonna try and read but I might come out there later,” you reply. 

Harry just shrugs, “I might tan or nap but I’ll go look for food in an hour.”

Niall nods in agreement, “Cool, we’ll try and be back by then.”

Niall and Tara begin walking towards the ocean, pulling their wet suits on completely and Harry glances at you once they are out of earshot.  “So now that they’re gone, wanna make this another date?” he asks shyly.

You set down your book and balance your body on your elbows, “Okay, you have my attention.”

“So, I’m thinking, we get food before they come back and have a picnic on the beach and once they go next time we can do something fun,” he wiggles his eyebrows. 

You look at him, eyes wide in shock, “Harry,” you gasp, “Not here! Maybe next time we’re left at the hotel, but not here!” 

“Fine,” he dramatically sighs, “We can just cuddle if that's what you’re comfortable with.”

“Yeah, that’s what i'm comfortable with, dumbass,” you playfully push him and he dramatically falls over. 

“Jesus, woman!” 

Harry stood up and held a hand out for you, “Let’s go find food m’lady.” He pulled you up and you both started walking towards the pier where there seemed to be a few restaurants. 

You found a restaurant without a line fairly quickly and ordered a few entrees you thought Niall and Tara would like, along with a wrap for Harry and a falafel sandwich for yourself. 

Sitting down with your stuff again, indulging in the food while staring at the ocean. The sun was beginning to set and there was a nice breeze in tow, causing you to shiver. Harry noticed and immediately handed you a sweatshirt he had brought along just in case. He scooted closer to you and circled his arm around your waist as you grasped onto the outerwear.

“Hey, is this the one you gave me on our first date?” you asked once you had pulled the black material over your body.

Harry squinted, turning his head to study the sweatshirt, “Yeah, I think it was.”

“That was so awkward,” you laugh, resting your head on his shoulder, “We tried so hard to not mess anything up, it just ended up silent, like, most the time.”

“Hey!” Harry whined, “That’s because we cared. We wanted this to work,” he shrugged, looking back at the ocean. “I think that’s Tara,” he said, untangling his arm from your body and scooting a few feet away from you. 

You whimper softly at the loss of warmth, wrapping your arms around your body to make up for Harry’s body. You see him exhale deeply and hide a smile as Tara approaches. 

“Oh thank goodness, I’m starving,” she says once she sees the food, “Think Niall’s coming in a few minutes, he’s talking to the lifeguard,” Tara points behind her carelessly. 

“Of course he is, always a flirt,” you glance at Niall who’s helping a girl in a red bathing suit down from the post. 

Harry laughs loudly, “She looks so confused, I think he’s trying to speak Spanish.” 

Tara snorts, “He knows, like, six words. He needs a lotta luck if he’s going to do… that.”

Niall arrives a few minutes later, laughing as he tells everyone about the girl and his limited Spanish vocabulary. You all share a few laughs and retell some old stories as the sun goes down and the temperature drops even more. 

Tara and Niall are shivering viciously because they were still wet from the ocean and they head back to the hotel, claiming they will let you and Harry in whenever you come back. You both bid them a goodbye and are left alone again. 

“Finally,” Harry says, sliding in behind you so your back is to his chest, and wrapping his arms around your front, “We can cuddle.”

“I’d hardly call this cuddling,” you glance back at him, “If this is what you consider cuddling, we’re gonna have a problem.”

“We’re spooning, no?” He smiles at you cheekily and you shake your head. 

“No,” you reply, and with a light push on Harry’s chest to speeden the process you carefully lower yourselves onto the towel beneath you, your toes tickled by a cool breeze as sand gets into your hair, “Now we’re spooning.” 

Harry flips you over in his arms so he is looking into your eyes. His left hand slowly caresses your face as his right traces your lips softly. “You’re so pretty,” he says softly. 

Your smile widens as you bring your hand up to his hair, “You’re prettier,” you counter. 

Harry’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he leans back slightly. You tug on his hair and push him back into you as he mumbles, “I think you’re blind. You’re out of my league.” 

“Are you joking? There’s no way you’re being serious.”

“I’m serious! You’re out of my league it’s just a fact.”

“No,” you look at him pointedly, “We are in the same league. Don’t get it twisted,” you crack a smile. 

Harry bursts out into laughter and you follow, falling into a fit of giggles. “Okay, same league,” he agrees. 

The two of you lay there in relative silence for the next twenty minutes, just relishing in each other and cherishing the time you have before the cold air becomes unbearable. 

Once it becomes too cold to think, Harry stands up slowly, wrapping himself in a towel and he holds out his arm for you before helping you up. You both gather all the towels and bags left over and head back to your hotel. 

//

The following day the four of you spent some time sight seeing and learning about Spanish culture. That night you ended up on the beach again, the four of you sitting around a bonfire. 

You weren’t doing much, just eating and talking whilst wrapped up in blankets. Harry found himself staring at your lips as you spoke about a party you went to your freshman year. Safe to say he had no idea what happened at the party. 

You wore a black dress with cherries on that you tied over your yellow bathing suit and Harry thought you couldn’t look better if you tried. A slight tan had made its way onto your body, your hair dry from the ocean water, and an effortless smile lying on your lips as you wrap yourself tighter in a towel you borrowed from the hotel. 

You looked up and made eye contact with Harry, smiling widely before looking down at your hands to not raise any suspicion. Harry frowned slightly and focused on Niall, asking him what he was going to do later that night. 

“Probably go to the pool,” he shrugs, “The ocean is way too cold now.”

Harry nodded, “I’m gonna go to bed in like an hour so I won’t join,” he looked up at you. You nodded slightly as Tara replied. 

“I’m gonna go to the gym, maybe I’ll meet up with you after.”

You looked up, “I’m going to go to bed. All the walking really got to me,” you informed. 

Everyone murmured their ‘okay’s and a few minutes later you had all packed up and headed back to your hotel rooms. 

You and Harry walked slightly behind everyone, Harry’s lips on your ear as they tell you how he’s going to have you tonight. 

Tara and Niall changed and headed back down to the shared lobby and you rushed to knock on the shared door between the two rooms. Harry hastily helped you inside and within seconds his lips were on yours and his shirt was thrown across the room and his shorts were directly beneath him. 

Clad in only his briefs allowed for the outline of his cock to show through the thin, black fabric and you glanced down at it when your lips parted, losing your train of thought for a moment. 

Your eyes widen slightly and your head rolls back as Harry begins kissing along your jawline and down to your neck. He leads you onto his bed, that he had laid a towel on, and helps you get rid of your shirt and shorts. 

He groans at the sight of the white lace set you had put on for him and you smile up at him, laying down on the bed, as he steps out of his briefs. 

“We gotta be quick, babe,” He reminds you, “God you look so beautiful. Quick won’t be a problem.”

You chuckle and lean up and grasp his arms, pulling him down onto you, “Thank you,” you whisper. He giggles lightly as his lips find yours. You pull him closer into your body as he deepens the kiss, immediately asserting his dominance. 

You moan lightly into the kiss as Harry’s hand finds its way down to your panties, pressing light pressure onto your core and moving his hand slightly as you arch your back urging for more. 

Harry’s lips detach from yours and find their way to your chest, his free hand skillfully unclasping your bra and you lean up slightly to help take it off your body. Your bra is thrown across the room and one of Harry’s hands finds your right breast, massaging it, as his mouth attaches itself with your left nipple. 

His tongue works skillfully, circling your nipple and flicking it harshly, hardening it instantly. He playfully nips at it, making you groan in pleasure, before he switches breasts and does a similar routine on the other. 

He kisses his way down to your body and to your core, placing a kiss directly on the wet patch that has formed on your panties. You groan at the feeling and he looks up at you, “You good?” You nod quickly, unable to speak, “I need to hear you say it,” he reminds you. 

“Yes, fuck, yes. Keep going, please,” you chant, closing your eyes and pushing your body towards Harry’s mouth. 

He groans at the contact and moves your panties to the side, attaching his tongue to your clit. He gently bites on it, teasing you further, and you grab his hair pulling lightly. 

He moans into your core, making you arch your back in ecstasy. “Harry, please,” you beg for his attention, causing him to smirk at your desperation. 

He sucks harshly on your clit making you practically scream in anticipation. In a rhythmic motion, you move your hips as he laps his tongue along your lips, making your legs shake with pleasure. He adds a finger unexpectedly and you moan loudly, pulling at his hair aggressively, this time. Your eyes close and your head rolls back, hitting the mattress, as you come unexpectedly onto Harry’s tongue. 

He smiles slightly and stands after cleaning you up quickly. Rolling on a condom, he watches as you rid your panties, sitting up to throw them where your bra lays on the floor. Making eye contact with you, he gets the sudden urge to kiss you. “You look so flawless,” he mutters. 

“You look perfect,” you reply, giving into his gaze. 

He smiles at you and kisses you softly, assaulting your lips, making sure you know you are loved by the man before you. 

He stands and regains his full height again, allowing you to adjust your body as you wish before lining up his cock with your entrance. 

Harry slides halfway into you with a wrangled moan, looking at you to make sure you’re okay. He lets out an exaggerated “Fuck,” seeing your innocent eyes looking up at him through your eyelashes before bottoming out, his hips coming in contact with your feet as you push him back slightly, nonverbally signaling him to move. 

He thrusts into you at a slow pace, making you whimper for more. You look at him with pleading eyes, in which he responds by slightly increasing his pace. “Please,” you whine, looking into Harry’s eyes. 

He smiles at you and pulls out before sliding back in with more force and speed then before. You moan with delight as he groans with pleasure and you allow him to continue his pattern of strokes before he comes, you following slightly after. 

He pulls out, heading to the bathroom to dispose of his condom before coming back and helping you off the bed so you could use the restroom and clean up while he puts the towel under a table in the room so nobody uses it. 

Walking back into the bedroom, you take in the sight before you of Harry putting his shorts back on. His eyes meet yours and he smiles as you continue to stare at him as he gathers your clothes for you. He hands them to you with a kiss and you change quickly into them before sitting back down on the bed to cuddle for a few minutes. 

You face each other and your legs intertwine as you admire each other and whisper sweet nothings at each other. “I love you,” He tells you. 

“I love you,” you reply.

[ddarker-dreams]

How would the team react to SR reader taking them to a trip back to their home? For instance, I'm from NY, so I would definitely take them or M&M world or something fun 😊.

NONNIE THIS IS SO CUTE !! SR Reader would want to take everyone to an area she thinks they’d like!! It’d be a very chaotic trip. Maybe an Everyone Lives AU type of special. Lemme go over my thoughts...

If you’re travelling with Giorno, you’re gonna be travelling in style. Man is packing the big bucks. He just tells you to bring him wherever you want. Might be a bit disappointed that the others are tagging along at first, but still has plans to get alone time with you :) he’s the least likely to want to go anywhere specific. He’s gonna be harshly judging any of the food you recommend, but doesn’t ever tell you lmao. Just flashes you a charming smile and says it’s wonderful while going on an internal Gordon Ramsey monologue over the flavors and presentation. He’d secretly like places that specialize in sweets, and should you catch onto this, would make feeble attempts at dismissing it. Despite all the fancy food he can afford, he has a soft spot for smores you made for him!! Thought it was the cutest thing ever :’)))) especially when you were blowing on the marshmallows to set the fire off. The moment was ruined by Narancia mourning his marshmallow that fell into the fire...  

Mista is going to want to visit Hollywood 100%. This man is a cinema addict and nothing can convince me otherwise. He’s going to be finding areas that appeared in his favorite movies and dragging you (and maybe a few other unlucky people, probably Fugo) along for the ride. Sex Pistols are gonna embarrass him by reenacting his favorite scenes lmao. He’d want to go to Griffith’s Observatory to reminiscence about Rebel Without a Cause and won’t shut up about the movie the entire time. Mista fits in with the lackadaisical air of LA a little too perfectly, and you keep telling him to change out of his sweater because it’s gonna be hot. But he doesn’t. Mista is gonna be so tilted when he finds out his favorite Clint Eastwood doesn’t have a star on the Walk of Fame... you didn’t have the heart to tell him at first. He’s also sad that he can’t legally drink in the states LMAOO

“[First], so let me get this straight. I can carry my pistol around openly here, but I can’t legally drink?” 

“Couldn’t have explained it better myself, Mista.” 

Narancia is another person who would be excited to visit areas in California the most. He’s more into music, so he’s going to want to tour all the big studios (and gets bored when he doesn’t spot any celebrities like he expected). Also the most likely to be disappointed with California prices. When you explain to him how much he needs to pay in USD for a meal he’s gonna gape at you like you have two heads. 

“W-what? That much for a burger and fries? This has to be a crime! Bucciarati, come talk some sense into this guy!” 

“Narancia, no, don’t beat up the Americans--” 

He’d also be interested in New York!! Specifically in areas that hold cultural significance for hip hop like the Bronx. He thinks it’s the coolest thing ever. Might stand out a little too much but it’s okay he’s having fun. Narancia would be suffering on the east coast, since a lot of people there are prickly. If anyone bumps into him in New York, you’re gonna have to deescalate lmao. He’d also want to visit places like Hershey Park, Six Flags, etc... you’re gonna have to explain to him that they’re all very far apart. Narancia wants to drag you on rollercoasters, god help your soul ... (if you refuse, he’ll settle on Mista joining him. Emphasis on settle). You might need to get him a shirt that says “If lost, return to [First]” for him, and a “I’m [First]” for yourself. 

Trish is another one from the group who is most interested in visiting New York. She fits in perfectly, unlike Narancia. She can keep up with the walking speed there too lmao. Trish is gonna drag you into countless fashion stores, and take selfies with you at Times Square. If anyone tries to cat call her... well, she’s gonna have you defending her honor. Trish is gonna want to go to Tiffany’s, and Radio City music hall to see a concert. She actually speaks English pretty well! She has a cute little accent on some words, but when you tell her that, she gives you a >:( look. Anyways you’d both be looking like models next to one another. A few people have come up to Trish, asking if they’ve seen her in magazines or something... smh... it’s your job to flirt with her so you shoo them off in English >:) 

God... Bruno would be so adorable. He wants to explore the beaches!! When you’re asking where he wants to go, he’ll mention these places. The Outer Banks, Ocean City (until you tell him he’s gonna be greatly disappointed if you go there), Honolulu, and the Santa Monica beaches. He likes sitting on the piers and feeling the ocean breeze, and trying the boardwalk food!! He thrives the most in Southern states since he likes the warmer places. 

The state I see him liking the most should he visit is Maryland. He’d be prancing around the inner harbor, enjoying all the outdoor cafes and feasting on seafood. Just be sure to teach him how to eat crabs properly :’) the gang eating crabs is a mess. The waiter brings wooden hammers, and Narancia starts SMACKING the FUCK out of that steamed crab. You have to explain to him it’s not meant to be used like that... Mista tries using it like a judge’s gavel to make you laugh. Fugo and Abbacchio are leaving the table so as not to associate with them... 

Fugo is gonna be embarrassed by everyone else’s shenangins. He fits in the frigid temperament a lot of East Coasters have. He’d be the most interested in visiting Boston for its historical importance, and touring the various colleges there. He prefers Boston over New York and LA, he’s a bit of a snob... is gonna be internally screaming over the stupidly complicated way of getting around. Why is the train system here so archaic?? Who designed this?? He wants to have a word with them. Fugo isn’t big on city life though, so he might want to visit somewhere more rural. Perhaps... Florida... ahaha... jk... unless? 

Abbacchio is going to want to visit New Orleans and nothing can convince me otherwise. I headcanon that he’s a big fan of jazz. So he’ll be hanging out in notable jazz clubs, sipping on fine wine, enjoying the music with you. He appreciates how the music transcends language. Especially since he feels weird constantly badgering you or Fugo, the best English speakers, to translate stuff for him. He might be a little bit smug that he’s able to drink alcohol unlike Mista, who is still greatly offended by not being able to drink. 

[watch-grok-brainrot]

Wei Wuxian and Chinese Virtues of 忠孝仁义

There’s a lot of conversation about Wei Wuxian and how he struck out on his path without a concern for the Jiangs; about how he’s reckless and not giving a sh*t about his role within his society; about how he had a family and siblings and threw it all away for his sense of right and wrong. But the way I read his actions is within the context of the virtues of 忠孝仁义 (and how the virtues, especially 义, is ingrained in him via the Jiang sect motto). WWX’s major decisions can all be read as him acting in accordance with one or more of these virtues. Even when WWX is being his most irreverent self (and yes he’s rude and bring about a lot of second hand shame) he still remembers the we-self (to borrow from baoshan-sanren’s post) context as the head disciple of the Jiang Sect. Even when he seems to abandon everything, he didn’t abandon his understanding of these virtues. 

First of all, let’s talk about 忠. 忠 (zhōng) is loyalty, devotion, fidelity. I usually associate the concept with loyalty towards your country but it can be applied to other units too. In the case of CQL where we don’t see an Emperor or country, it would only make sense that this concept be applied to either a person (e.g. SuShe at JGY) or a sect. 

Tangent, feel free to skip: An (maybe THE) embodiment of this virtue is 岳飞 (Yue Fei), one of THE MOST famous Chinese generals. Yue Fei lived during the second half of the Song dynasty. He loved his country so much, he wrote poetry about drinking his enemy’s blood and eating their flesh (壮志饥餐胡虏肉，笑谈渴饮匈奴血) and taking back his country’s lands and saving the two previous emperors from being POWs. He is famous for the tattoo of the words “尽忠报国” (exhausting all loyalties to replay country aka i will be loyal and fight for my country until i die) on his back bestowed by his mother before he left home. When he was unjustly executed for treason, the executioners saw that on his back and the people knew a great man was wronged.  

(if anyone wants a translation of the poem and a rambly share about some of my favorite Yue Fei  related facts/stories, let me know. Otherwise, i’m gonna get back to our favorite necromancer)

So back to WWX. His loyalties are very much with the Jiang sect.  After JFM and YZY dies, within the structure of 忠, Jiang Cheng is effectively who he needs to be loyal to because Jiang Cheng is the sect leader and essentially the symbol of the sect. The act of giving up his core to JC, then, embodies the idea of loyalty within the context of 忠. (I’ve seen memes about how WWX gave consent, WQ gave consent, but JC didn’t. drwcn has a great post about consent. For this post, i’m not going to go into it because this is outside my defined scope.) Furthermore, 忠 compels WWX to protect the Jiangs. I’ve read meta that thinks WWX was trying to get himself killed based on the crossing of his hanfu and his mouthing off at Wen Chao. I’m inclined to believe that reading because if dying means JC would never find out, so be it. And as long as WWX is dead, there will be no evidence of the core transfer so JC would never lose face before other cultivators. It would mean the Jiang sect can be rebuilt to its old status without being tainted by WWX’s sacrifice. 

Ok, next is 孝. 孝 (xiào) is most often translated as filial piety. I don’t think there is a good sense of it in western culture. In chinese culture, it is the expected deference younger generations need to display to elders in their direct lineage. [Note: i use lineage because you can be 孝 towards your biological parents and grandparents, your kungfu master and their master, your adopted/honor bound parents, etc but not to everyone who is in a higher generation. It’s very family/lineage based.] 孝 is complicated because it’s ingrained into Chinese kids at a really young age. Go pour your grandparents tea. Go give your grandparents a back rub. Listen to your parents. When your parents get old, you’ll take care of them. Respect your elders. Even if your elders are wrong, don’t talk back. It’s a set of emotions that tie you to your ancestry. To turn your back on it feels like turning your back on your culture and identity. 

Tangent, feel free to skip: Ok, this is really cool and I had to share. In looking up 孝 in the online xinhua dictionary, it says about the etymology: “形声。从老省，从子。” This is so cool! We have two characters: 老 (old, as in Yiling Laozu) and 子 (child). You’ll notice 孝 is a character where to top part of 老 is taken and 子 essentially follows. This character is a style of character where the meaning comes from the structure of the character. So 孝 is where the children follow the old, often blindly and with disregard of their own needs. 

WWX, as an orphan, can only direct his 孝 towards Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan. 1) No matter how awful they were as parents, JFM and YZY raised WWX. 2) WWX is the head disciple. That means JFM is his shifu. [He calls JC his shidi and JYL his shijie for that reason.] That teacher-disciple relation is often described as “一日为师,终生为父” (a teacher for one day should be treated like a father for life). Both 1 and 2 bind WWX to the Jiangs regardless of his adoption status. So, when on the boat YZY and JFM tell WWX to take care of JC and JYL, it’s the order of an elder in his direct lineage. To not listen, to not defer to that order would not be 孝. Considering they perished at Lotus Pier, WWX was obligated to execute those orders to their fullest whatever the price (i.e. golden core). 

Along those same lines, out of 孝 (and human decency, tbh) WWX and JC had to retrieve JFM and YZY’s bodies. Wen Ning helping them out in that situation is a HUGE favor. Not to mention all the other things WN and Wen Qing does for them. I will get to the favors and their ramifications later. 

Ok, moving on to 仁. 仁 (rén) is most often translated as benevolence or humanity. (I want to say I find the translation of humanity very interesting from a bilingual child’s perspective because the chinese character for person/human is 人 which is also rén. I got the concept confused a LOT.) 仁 is found in the love and kindness shown towards fellow humans. Ctext often translates it as virtue, which is a bit too broad, IMO. I think this line from Confucian Analects explain the concept succinctly: 

樊遲問仁。子曰：”愛人”

Fan Chi asked about benevolence [仁]. Confucius said, "It is to love all men." 

WWX embodies this love better than everyone else in the story (except maybe LSZ but LSZ probably gets it from WWX). WWX meets stuttering WN and acknowledges him, offers to give advice, and truly sees the younger man. He treats WN with kindness and friendship (and yes, he takes advantage of WN’s willingness to push him around in a turnip wagon but that��s more shenanigans). WWX also sees the Wens at Phoenix Mountain as human and steps out of line to help them.  His blindfolded five arrow show stems out of his 仁. His saving Mianmian is also an expression of his 仁. So many of WWX’s actions stem from 仁. A lot of the fandom see it as his empathy and I agree! It is that! But it can also be viewed as his internalization of the virtue to love humanity. 

Finally, 义. 义 (義,yì) is actually the reason this ENTIRE post came to be. 义 is the same 义 as  Yi City. I offer the traditional version of the character above so you can see how it compares to the stone on the way to Yi City. You will recall when WWX says Yi City, LWJ asks, “Yi, which means chivalrous?” And WWX explains same character but for coffin/mortuary in this case. 

Actually, 义 is used in a lot of words: 

正义- correct/rigit + 义 =  righteousness

意义 - ideal + 义 = meaning

侠义 - knight -errant + 义 = chivalry

义气 - 义 + air = personal loyalty; code of brotherhood

名义- name + 义 = nominal

义父 - 义 + father = sworn father (this is a difficult to translate idea that sometimes i translate as godfather for simplification and cultural parallelism. it’s a parent figure that you acknowledge via vows. If the character for father is replaced with brother, then it’s the relationship that the 3zun have. And OMG i want to talk about the 3zun and romance of 3 kingdoms and how much of a awful un-义 person JGY is… but also holy out of scope batman)

In the case of virtues/morality, we’re looking at 义气 - the 义 that means loyalty to people and a code of brotherhood. The Jiang Sect ancestor is described as a 游侠 (yóu xiá, wandering hero). The ancestor’s identity as a 侠 (xiá), which indicates a highly skilled martial artist/fighter who will defends others (à la wuXIA and xianXIA), places him within the world of 江湖 (jiāng hú, sometimes translated as rivers and lakes or “pugilistic world” in some wuxia subtitles). In 江湖, 义 is the most important virtue. Based on 义, you help those in need. You stand out and do what is right. You are an outlaw that follows a strict moral code. 义 is the foundation of the Jiang Sect’s motto. Furthermore, the idea of 义气 can in some ways be viewed as currency. You do me a favor, I owe you one. You treat me with decency, I return the favor. You DO NOT return kindness with ill intent. It is taboo. 

WWX exemplifies 义. 义 is part of what makes him so lovable and reckless. For 义 , he sticks out his neck for LWJ during Wen Summer Camp. For 义, he follows LWJ to search for the Yin Iron. Under 义 , he is free to be the hero who lends a hand whenever it’s needed. Oftentimes, 仁 and 义  go hand in hand because to stand up and stand out for other requires love of others and seeing their humanity. 

So let’s get back to the Wen remnants: for 义, WWX must protect WN and WQ. As I mentioned before, WN and WQ had done WWX and JC (and thus the Jiang Sect as a whole) MULTIPLE HUGE FAVORS. 1) saving JC from Wen Chao at Lotus Pier. 2) retrieving JFM and YZY’s bodies. 3) transferring the golden core against WQ’s best judgement. All of these actions are so vital to the survival or the reputation of the Jiang Sect. WWX knows it. I’m positive JC knows it.  To turn their backs on WN and WQ would be 不仁不义 (neither 仁 nor 义). Really, the ONLY thing they should be doing from the perspective of 义 is helping the Wens to repay their kindness. But WWX knows, as the head disciple, that JC cannot afford to align the Jiang Sect in sympathy with the Wens because it’s political suicide. The Jiang Sect WILL NOT SURVIVE if Nie, Jin, and Lan all turn against them. Even if Lan stood neutral, Nie and Jin would still be able to wipe out barely rebuilt Jiang. 

So what does WWX do? He has already painted himself as a rebel, as rude, as ill bred. And from an outsider looking in, WWX is in alignment with his slippery descend into darkness. WWX knows if he steps just a little more out of line, he can accomplish everything else his morality dictates. (We could talk about WHY WWX feels like it’s ok for him to give up everything and analyze WWX’s self worth and what not. But that’s also outside the scope of this post and i’m pretty sure other people have done a better job of it than I could.) 

Save the Wens, run away to the Burial Mounds, and defecting are all aligned with WWX’s morals. Defecting protects JC and the Jiangs sect in an act of loyalty (忠). Defecting also protects JC and JYL, thus fulfilling the filial piety toward YZY and JFM’s instructions (孝).  Saving the Wens returns the debt of 义 that JC and WWX owe to WN and WQ. Saving the Wens also appeal to WWX’s sense of 仁 towards the non-cultivators. Lastly, protecting the Wens means JC does not end up 不仁不义. From WWX’s perspective his actions are the only option for him to really have no regrets when he asks his heart.