#picking things up for that final verse lmao always love it

[unproduciblesmackdown]

For today’s video, I give you one of the longest standing Christmas Extravaganza traditions: The Virgin Mary and The Virgin Mary Dancers cheering up Santa with their burlesque rendition of “Santa Baby” feat. Sabels, Suspenders, and Stripping. The ‘Nice List’ always was overrated, anyway. Choreo by @cogrobs, Costumes by @bren_bash

[yooglefics]

The casual type: 04 . The plans change

Pairing: Min Yoongi x fem!reader Wordcount: 4,832 words Genre ( for the whole series ): AU. College!verse. Strangers to friends with benefits to ???. Eventual smut. Hurt / comfort at times. Fluff for cute friends. Summary:  ( Series ) • Hobi and his girlfriend set you up with a friend of hers to help with whatever happened months back. However, no one really expected things to end the way they did. ( Ep. 04 ) • The night wasn't supposed to go like this, but there's nothing to complain about. Well, maybe a little. Warnings under read more.

Warnings ( for this ep ): The squad being annoying ( I <3 them ). Pet names ( princess , baby , doll ). Flirting. Making out. Grinding. Fingering. ( wash your hands, folks ). Yoongi's hands should be a warning. 1,1714 words of just smut and I literally don’t know how that happened lol. Author's note: The plans for this chapter also changed a lot because I only had like three notes for it lmao. Nevertheless, I'm excited to share it with all of you, thank you for sticking around and I hope you like this ep. Remember to leave a comment, send an ask, with your thoughts and also maybe reblog, and what not. As always, thank you for reading! <3

“No, the thing is, she doesn't want to share space. That's why,” Jimin accuses you from his position on the couch. Not being good at sharing himself since his whole body is on it.

“That's not true! I just don't want to be around sweaty boys.” 

“As if you don't sweat,” Jungkook argues.

“I don't.”

“She doesn't, she is a princess,” Is Yoongi's turn to pick on you. He called you that before at the club but this time surprises you since is in front of your friends and your relationship with each other has changed. And actually, you're supposed to be keeping that a secret from them.

“I love how she didn't argue that one,” says Jimin, chuckling.

“Because I am, duh.” You do an exaggerated flip of your ponytail while turning around, carrying another box of kitchenware to put away.

The guys finally decided to rent a house all together, and to make up for the fact that you refused to leave your dorm and follow them, you offered to help organize and decorate because, at the end of everything, you'd probably be spending a lot of time here. 

“You should have moved in with us,” You hear Hobi tell Yoongi after bringing more boxes inside the house. “Did you find a place?” 

“Yes, one of my classmates and his roommates were looking for someone. Is not too far away from here, actually.”

“That's cool. You guys can come over whenever.”

“You should come to the party tonight!” Taehyung says excitedly.

“Tonight?!” You walk out of the kitchen, a couple of glasses in your hands. “You're not even done downloading the truck. Jimin is not even moving!”

“I withdraw my offer for you to move in with us,” says your friend. “She is more like an evil step-sister,” he murmurs to Yoongi and he laughs along with everyone else.

“I hate you all.” 

Storming back into the kitchen, you decide to focus on putting everything away. Not a single thing that can be broken in sight of future drunk guests, that's why you are struggling to put mugs on cupboards you can barely reach.

“Do you need help, princess?” 

The nickname makes you almost drop Tae's last birthday present, and Yoongi is right there to catch you both. “Careful,” he says.

“Is your fault.”

“Did I scare you?” he chuckles, “Sorry.”

“You keep scaring me when you call me that,” you whisper.

“What? You don't like it?” Confused look on his face when he turns to you after putting the mug in place.

“I–why do you call me that?”

“Because sometimes you get kinda grumpy and you're cute, like a princess.”

It makes you smile, and it matches the one on his face.

“I'm going to ignore the fact that you called me grumpy,” you pretend to be upset about it, scrunching up your lips in fake dislike.

“Yeah, focus on the fact that you're cute.” you blush and he uses the excuse of grabbing another mug to get closer, making it so if you lean in a little you could steal a peck. 

But you still aren't sure about how the whole friends with benefits thing works. Nor confident enough to make a decision before Jungkook announces through the house: “the truck is empty, told you we could do it!”

And soon enough Yoongi is out of the room, helping move boxes here and there, and after everything that doesn't belong in the living room is out of it, he finally sits with you and Jimin on the sofa, you in the middle of the two.

“Are you really having a party today?” Yoongi asks.

“Of course! We have to baptize the place.”

“That sounds gross.” You say, noise scrunched.

“You're gross. That's not very princess-y of you,” says Jimin and Yoongi laughs.

“I feel gross, I'm going home to change. Do you want me to give you a ride to the dorms?”

“Yes, please!” 

You have thought about going alone, but after your failed kiss in the kitchen you wanted at least some time alone, and a car drive should be just enough. 

Or perhaps not. 

Because Yoongi drops you at your dorm and goes home to change, refusing to get close to you when he is all sweaty. 

You hit send with one hand and with the other make sure your door is open before sitting once again on the bed, grabbing your mirror and eyeliner to continue your routine.

“Hello?” He knocks a few times and you tell him to come in, all concentration on the task at hand. And that gives him time to look around a little, taking in your space. 

Is a large room, just looking a bit cramped thanks to the big pieces of furniture ( two beds, two dressers, and two desks ) but your method of putting everything against the walls definitely helps. That, and the fact that your roommate hasn't moved in yet. “Now I understand why you didn't want to move in with them. You have a room all for yourself?”

You laugh, “Their office was gonna be my room, actually. And no, this year I'm supposed to share it.”

“You didn't last year?”

“At the beginning I did. But then she paired with someone else.” You shrug, not sure about the details since you've only known her for a couple of weeks. “But it's not as cool as everyone thinks, sometimes it gets lonely, mostly on exam weeks when everyone is busy studying.”

“Well, you can invite me anytime.” He only partially jokes.

“Deal. But you've to bring snacks.” 

“Deal.”

Yoongi sits on your bed while waiting, scrolling on his phone and every now and then looking up to watch you apply the rest of your makeup, then perfume and pick a jacket, until you are standing in front of him with a smile as you announce you're ready. 

“That was faster than I thought,” he says, standing up. “Your eyes do look cute with the sparkle eyeshadow. Bogum was right.” 

“Oh, don't remember me that. I think that's the last time he is going to talk to me,” a sigh follows the exaggeration. 

“If he is really interested he is going to try again.”

“And if he is not?”

“Then he's not worth it.” The confidence in his voice is as contagious as his smile, and you match it.

For a second you wonder if it should be weird to talk about this with the guy you made out with just yesterday. If this is just normal encouragement because you are becoming friends or do all friends with benefits have this type of conversation?. Either way, you are glad to have someone to talk to about your little crush, and so, decide to not give it too much thought if Yoongi doesn't seem to do it either.

When he first asked you about it on Wednesday it was out of curiosity and you returned the phrase about the cat's tragic ending, receiving a “Well, I guess we are confidants now, kitten.”

You gave him a rundown of the situation and confessed about having a little bit of hope for his now teammate to invite you out again. He wished you the best and told you to let him know if something does happen because, according to him, Bo doesn't seem like the guy to be into sharing, and so, Yoongi doesn't want to be in the way.

“Maybe you should talk to him tonight. He is going, isn't he?”

“Uh, not sure. I asked Kook but I don't think he saw my text.” you turn to grab your phone and check.

But before you can open the app, Yoongi grabs your shoulders and guides you out the door, “Or we can just drive there and see.” 

You're surprised to see the motorcycle in the parking lot, thinking it had been just a thing of last week since you haven't seen him use it since then. You even wondered if it was his in the first place.

“What? Are you scared now?” He teases when you don't take the helmet he is holding in your direction. Just standing there without any movement. “You know I'm a good driver.”

“Yeah, I just… didn't expect it.”

He laughs at your genuine shock before explaining, “I always take it to parties because it's easier to find parking and get out of there whenever I want to.” 

“And I'm sure girls love it, too.”

“That's a plus,” He nods with a smirk, “but don't worry, baby, I’m not making you share tonight.”

“Shut up,” with your nose scrunched for good measure, you finally take the helmet from him. But instead of grabbing his own and getting ready, he gets closer to you, brushing your fingers with his when you're going to secure it and doing it for you instead.

“You tell me that a lot, you know.”

“You talk too much,” you defend, “it's your own fault.”

“Or… you just want to kiss me.”

Glad your smile is hidden by the helmet,  you push him a bit as you answer, "Actually, shut up.”

He laughs, and then goes on to put on and secure his helmet before claiming on the motorcycle and waiting for you. 

The shock about the vehicle wasn't only pure confusion, it was also the realization that your outfit was probably not the best choice. The fabric of your skirt was flowier than the one you used last time, and you aren't sure it would do well at a fast speed.

“Don't go too fast,” you ask him, hands on his shoulders to help you get on and sit behind him.

“I don't get that a lot,” he jokes, and you roll your eyes still fussing with your clothes. “You ready?” he waits for your signal before revving up the engine. 

He drives faster than last time. Or maybe you're just sober and more scared about it all. Your legs tighten on his sides, and your arms around his middle, all the while telling yourself is only to protect the wind from stealing your dignity. When he stops, you have to open your eyes to realize it is because of a red light and your body relaxes. 

Left hand leaves the throttle and goes to your tight, closer to your knee, the coldness of his fingers makes you jump and you feel him chuckle before caressing your skin. “You okay?” he asks loud enough to be heard through the street noises and your covered ears. You nod between his shoulder blades, even if your heart is racing. 

Remembering you had felt your phone ringing in your jacket pocket indicating a few texts, you figure there's enough time to check them before the light changes.

You show Yoongi and he gives you a thumbs down, making you laugh. Oh, well. Maybe it just wasn't made to be.

Thinking he would just drive you back to your dorm, you're surprised when he doesn't take the next turn back — is he driving to another party?

The answer comes only when he takes a turn before entering the highway. Right to the top of The Hill. Every teenager destination to run away from their problems. Every horny couple with a low budget looking for privacy, which yes, in itself destroys that very purpose. But, this is not a place to think about too much, even if there are also people who come here to think, like Yoongi.

He turns the engine off, puts down the stand, and takes off his helmet. You follow behind, curious.

“I figured we should make something out of being outside right now, the sun is about to set.” He looks at his watch and then to the front, at the view. From here you can see the city from above, at least a big part of it. Including the mountains and skylines.

“C’mon,” he pats your tight twice, asking you to get down. Complying, you use his shoulders for support again and get closer to the barricade at the edge. 

“C'mon,” you throw back to him when he doesn't follow you.

“I can see it from here.”

You frown at him, “really?” He nods. Your head tilts slightly to the side, “reeeally?” 

“Let a guy be.”

He looks… weird. 

And, suddenly, it clicks.

“I can't believe it.” You walk back to him, “Are you afraid of heights?!” 

“Don't make fun of me.” 

“I'm not!” But in fact you're fighting back a smile, “is just… unexpected.”

“Yeah. Unlike the death from falling from here to who knows where.” He reasons and you can't really argue with that.

But you can argue with him moving closer.

Grabbing his hand and pulling, amazed when you manage a few steps without problem, but soon he puts strength into it. The abrupt stop of his body pulls yours back, bringing you close to his chest, making a surprise noise cross your lips and your triumphant smile is gone.

“Don't make me leave you here,” and for a second you wonder if he really would. Wonder how much you can push before he actually gets mad. “Look!”

Your eyes stop scanning his face, following the direction he is looking at and you catch the sky changing colors for the next few minutes. Blue. Orange. Pink. Purple. Dark blue, because the lights of the city start to appear avoiding the complete darkness. But from here, you can see more stars than from your room's window and everything seems kind of infinity.

“Wow…” is a bit lame and predictable, but what else is there to say?

“Yeah. Is beautiful.” He agrees, hand finally letting go of yours and moving to your shoulder, “and you didn't have to stand at the line of death to see it.”

“So dramatic.” With an eye roll you turn to him. He appears calmer, with a smile playing on his lips as he keeps looking at the sky.

“What?” he asks.

You're in his room now, sitting on the bed Yoongi just told you he had to buy a mattress for because he used to dorm at his last university and didn't own one. You make no promises of not spilling any of your slushie on it and he laughs, tells you he will not forgive you and both of you know it’s not true. 

Going back to your room isn't a priority right now, you're having a good time talking about random things and siping your sugary drinks with a big bag of chips between the two. You were nervous about his roommates because apparently they are older and that scares you for some reason, but he reassures you they are busy with their own thing and he can drive you back before they arrive.

“Nothing.” But your eyes are still on his lips, on the color they are tinted thanks to the red drinks, “do you like it?”

“Is not bad. I prefer blueberry, though.” 

“I think this one is better,” you said that before at the store when you stopped for gas, convincing him to try it.

“Of course you think so, you love cherry things. I'd not be surprised if your favorite color is red just because of it.”

“How do you know that?” is surprising he says it with such security.

“It is?”

“No. I mean, yes,” you backtrack, “but how do you know that I love cherry things? Did the matchmakers tell you that?”

“Mai and Hobi?

You nod, too curious of his answer you miss the way his eyes are following your lips as they wrap around the straw.

“No. But you always have cherry candy with you. You gave us cherry lollipops on tuesday. I asked you for gum the other day and you gave me cherry. Jungkook gets you cherry cola specifically, from the vending machine at our building. And,” he pauses his list, the corner of his lip curving up, “like four out of the five times we've kissed, you either test or smell like cherry. Or both.”

“Well,” you answer after a couple seconds of silence, “I'm conscious now.”

He laughs, and you drink again.

“Don't be. Is like… your touch.”

“Ew,” noise scrunched up, “I don't know if I want that. Am I going to be known as the cherry girl?”

Again he laughs, your horrified expression making it impossible not to. 

“Do I smell like it right now?” Bringing your arm to your nose, you try smelling your clothes. Then your hair. 

“Stop,” he asks, reaching to put strains of hair back into place. “You smell good. Forget I said anything.”

“No, I can't. Now it’s in my head.” You try smelling your other arm, almost spilling your drink.

“Okay,” he catches it in time, tilting your hand back completely upright, “that way you really are going to taste like cherry and leave a trace behind.” 

“Wait. Do I really taste like it? When you kiss me, does it bother you?” 

“Why are you freaking out about this?” And seeing your seriousness, he bites back his chuckles.

“Just answer the question.”

“Okay, okay. Let's see,” and before you can process it, his lips are on yours, and he hums. “Can’t tell.” And he goes in again, free hand to the back of your head to bring you forward, to really capture your lips with his.

Running his tongue over your bottom lip sends shivers through your body since it’s warmer, softer. And a small moan escapes your lips, separating them and letting his tongue in. 

You're scared to move. Not because of him. But because you have been wanting to kiss him since sitting down — heck, since this morning — but didn't know how. All this feels so complicated in your head, with rules you have to follow and what not, but in practice, he makes it look so much easier. 

Of course you can't pull him for a kiss in your friends’ house, that is too risky. But when he kisses you like this, it gives you confidence to at least ask him to do it whenever you're alone and feel like it.

Somehow your hand is on his neck, fingers running through the hair at his nape as your mouths keep their rhythm going. And you decide to take the risk, kneeling on the bed and moving closer to him. You separate for a second only to make sure you're not making a mess and he smiles at you, “give me that.” Sipping one last time at the slushie, you give it to him to be secured and abandoned on his nightstand, bag of chips moves next and now his hands are free to pull you into his lap by your waist.

“You haven't answered the question,” you tell him, hands cupping his face, “Or you just wanted to kiss me?”

“Stop stealing my lines.”

“Is that a no?” You pretend to pull back and his hold tightness.

“You want me to say it?” a nod is your answer, and is a bit surprising when he obeys. “Yes. I wanted to kiss you,” and he does, making his point clear. “And also yes, you test like cherry sometimes,” another peck, “is sweeter now, but not so much like when is from your candies,” his voice gets lower each time, practically a whisper, “and your lips look amazing tinted red, I want to kiss you every time.”

And you make it happen. Kissing him softer this time, setting your own peace. Yoongi goes with it at first, but those thoughts he doesn't share with you are hard to keep on track when your hips grind against his. Not helping with the situation in his jeans. 

His hands hold you firmly, stopping your movements, and his lips move faster, fighting for dominance. He wants you and you know it and it gives you the confidence to move again. At first it was involuntarily, your body's own reaction to him, but then you put force into it, mostly to go against his hold. He groans into your mouth, feeling it rumble against your chest. 

Pushing his shoulders back, Yoongi finally gives in and lets go of your hips in order to help himself up with an arm behind him, other hand on your thigh. His eyes travel from there to your chest, moving as fast as his with your breathing, to your face, bottom lip between your teeth and his tongue touches his own in the same place. You just sit there, looking at each other for a few seconds until his hand moves up your leg, dragging the fabric of the skirt along. But he stops mid way, going back down. He chuckles at your reaction of puffing air as a sign of deception, “what's that?”

Prying your eyes from his hand is difficult, but you look at his face, smirk in place as he moves again, fingertips glassing over soft skin. “I should make you do it too,” he teases, “make you tell me what you think and what you want.”

The idea is both terrifying and a turn on at the same time. You have never vocally asked for anything like that, but the tone of his voice, the raspiness, it intoxicates you so much you may be willing to try.

“But I'm not mean like you, baby.” In one swift movement his hand is up your leg again, grabbing your butt and making your skirt rail up, exposing more of your thigh and you gasp as he bucks his hips upward.

“I’m not mean,” you breathe. 

“No?” Head tilts to the side, that playful smile of his should be a crime. “Are you a good girl?”

“I hate you.”

“So we are dirty talking,” he nods and you roll your eyes with a chuckle.

It hasn't been long, but you really like what you guys have. Is easy. Without drama or feelings being hurt. And, being completely honest, the way he kisses you is enough to know you make the right decision.

Do you still believe in soulmates and want to meet yours and live happily ever after like all the love stories you have consumed throughout your life? Yes. But maybe your story can also include an arc of exploring your sexuality with someone who is just a friend. Someone who gets your jokes and trusts you too. Someone who kisses you sooo good it takes your breath away without having to be scared of the future and what-ifs. 

Someone whose fingertips brush the top of your inner thighs, so close to their goal, but nothing more because he is waiting for you. Although it’s hard because of the little sounds that keep flowing out of your throat as you start moving your hips on his lap, grinding on his hardening erection.

He is kissing your neck, sucking here and there but not hard enough to leave marks, and his other hand has made its way down your t-shirt, looking for that skin to skin contact, glad both of your guys' jackets were abandoned way before at his bedroom’s entrance. 

“Tell me to stop and I'll,” Yoongi reminds against your skin and you nod, the hand under your skirt finally moving from its place and you miss the warmth it provided. But his fingers reach for the waistband of your panties and your breath hatch a little as they move south, thumb brushing over your clothed pussy. “Fuck.” 

You moan. At the touch, at his reaction to feeling you're wet. And before you can feel conscious about it, he is rubbing circles over it. “Ahh…”

“So responsive,” he groans, “Does it feel good?” 

You nod, unable to form words as he pushes gently over on your center, making your body move towards him, looking for more. And he gives it to you by sneaking his hand under your panties, ring finger sliding between your folds, a groan of his own accompanying your whimpers as he truly feels how wet you're.

“F-fuck. You feel so soft,” Yoongi points out and it makes a shiver run down your body, while he keeps rubbing expertly, cupping your pussy when even without realizing your hips start moving again, looking for more friction.

“Y-yoongi,” you call, asking for more. 

For a second you think he doesn't get it because he takes his hand out, however is only to bring his ring and middle finger to his mouth, humming around them without breaking eye contact. Brown irises over taken by desire and you could've gotten lost on that look alone, but soon his hand goes back to its place between your legs, “Breathe,” he instructs, “tell me if it hurts.”

And it does, a little. Because you're not used to it and every touch is a bit overwhelming, all the same, he is gentle, one finger pushing in slowly and not all the way before going back. Your eyes close under his gaze, inspecting your reaction as he pushes in again, letting you get used to the feeling. 

“Is it good?” his lips go back to your neck, kissing his way up to your lips. 

“S-so good,” you smile against his mouth, “you can go on.”

And he moans against yours before adding another one, two digits inside you.

The thing about Yoongi is: he is a pleaser. He likes making his partners feel good and the way your lips part as he pushes into your pussy makes him weak. He knows that if you asked him to finger you all night he would, no questions asked.

But he also knows you don't have much time. That's why you are still sitting on his lap and not laying on his bed, and why he kept your clothes on even if is now regretting it.

His eyes travel down your body, to your hand in a fist with the fabric of your clothes. “Pull it up, doll.” Yoongi requests. “Your skirt. Let me see you.” 

You do, the carmine color on your cheeks even deeper as your sight is filled with his hand movements. 

“...so hot, taking my fingers so good.” He murmurs, hand on your lower back holding you in place as he picks up the peace. Feeling how your walls tighten around him every time he pushes in and his dick requests attention at the thought of fucking you properly. If only he had time.

“Fuck, fuck, fuc-” is your new mantra as his fingers move expertly, breaking into incohesive moans when they touch the bundle of muscle that makes you see stars. 

“I got you,” he says, “f-fuck, so pretty, baby.” Yoongi's voice is so gentle and still filled with lust as he whispers sweet nothings in your ear, getting you closer and closer to the end. “C’mon, let me see you cum, y/n.”

And that's all you need, hear your name so out of breath, to practically hit your orgasm on command. Head tilted back and lip between your teeth to suppress any noises, ignoring the voice of reason in your head that tells you is a bit late for that.

When you open your eyes again Yoongi's fingers are back in his mouth, sucking yourself off of them, and even if you just reached your high, you can't help the way your pussy reacts to that.

Catching you staring, he winks at you. 

And before you can decide the next move, your ringtone fills the silence, almost making you jump out of his lap. He chuckles, “Careful,” freeing you from his hands as you reach for your phone.

“Yes?” You answer, free hand fixing your clothes and putting black strains in place, trying to shake the feeling of being caught.

“Hi. Sorry about the time, my flight got canceled and then the next one took hours and—” taking the phone away from your ear, you realize that in the heat of the moment you didn't even notice it was an unknown number and not one of the guys. You're about to say they probably got the wrong number but the person keeps talking and it feels rude to just cut them off. “...but I'll have to wait until tomorrow. So apparently you're the only one with a key now and they said you were here but I knocked and well, I don't know if you were sleeping or…?” 

It takes you a second to process they do want you to talk now. “Sorry. I don't think I'm who you're looking for.”

“Are you not y/n?”

“Yes…” you turn to Yoongi, confused expression matching yours. “Who are you?”

“Oh, shit. I forgot to introduce myself, didn't I?” You nod even if it can't be seen through the phone, “I'm Subin. Your new roommate.”

A/N: AAAAAAHHHHHH pls don't call Subin a cockblocker ㅠ^ㅠ even if she would call herself that if she knew hahah. A/N 2: ALSO, I decided to try something new with the format of showing the texting, so please tell me your opinion, do you like it as screenshots or prefer it to be typed down? or is the same either way? Send a tip on ko-fi?? ( Only if you can and don't feel pressured to do it! )

♡ Tag list: @n33mesis , @mggv97 , @wobblewobble822 , @bbou-doir , @m00njinnie , @nariee02 , @sexytholland , @itsmina29 , @ktownshizzle , @take-u-2-an0ther-w0r1d , @kimtaehussy .

➪ 01 ・ 02  ・  03 | ➪ Tag for TCT verse | ♡ Tag list ➪ Main masterlist. | ➪ Pinned | ➪ Ko-fi

[according2thelore]

okay so your es/ls verse is making me lose my mind omg!! I check everyday and every little snippet heals a part of my soul I am not even kiddinggg! This last one about es!sam missing was so so so on point, I finally have the courage to send you an ask - what if es!sam or dean or both at the same time see ls!sam and dean uhm...um...doing what they are yearning for, kissing or spooning or straight up boning...what happens then? Does ES!Dean freak out and bolt? Does ES!Sam feel hopeful about the future for the first time since coming? Do ES!Sam&Dean evade each other forever?????? Do they accept it or try to play up their wtf reactions as if they havent been dreaming of this forever???

PS - odd detail but I love how adorably you write "kisses you on both cheeks" - english isnt my first language so forgive me if this comes as weird but this phrase of yours always me laugh because it is so cute haha?! I hope ES!Sam kisses Cas on both cheeks? Did I use it right???

EEK! thank you, anon! MWAH MWAH!

and please send me all the asks in the world! i cradle all of these asks in my hands like a duckling, lol!

OKAY ANON LMAO I TOTALLY READ THIS WHOLE THING COMPLETELY WRONG!!!! i read it as: what if LS!Dean&ES!Sam walk in on LS!Sam&ES!Dean kissing, and wrote this big long terrible thing about it!!!! my mistake!!!!!!! i was about to click publish then read it again and realized my error! if y'all ever want that lesson in angst and torture, lmk lol.

but GAH!!! your BRAIN!!!! i had to write a narrative little thing about it, i hope you enjoy!

sam doesn't know where the hell anyone is.

he checks the kitchen. nope. the armory, no one. the library? empty. he checks everyone's bedrooms, the garage, the war room, the dungeon (still can't believe there's a future where he owns a dungeon), and they're all completely empty.

sam is starting to suspect that they all went out without him, despite the fact that sammy had immediately established the ground rule that no "same" winchesters can go out together without a pretty extensive disguise.

that rule had been established when they all went out to the bar to drink their collective problem away (with the younger winchesters in big-billed trucker hats) and a drunk girl had stumbled straight from older dean's unwilling arms into younger dean's infinitely-more-willing arms and did a double-take. then a triple-take. then she saw The Sams, and they got the hell out of dodge before things could get ugly.

twins exist, for sure, but identical twins separated by 10+ years? not really.

sam's walking down another of the infinite hallways when he spots dean--his dean.

he had given up on finding anyone and gone to do some more archiving work. it was one of the only things that kept him sane in this new reality, and he enjoyed the quiet, satisfying work of logging complicated artifacts in his older self's laptop.

it was outside on of these rooms that he finds dean.

sam is positive there's nothing on these floors but dusty, mostly unopened rooms full of non-sharp, lore-heavy papers and gadgets and pottery, so he's confused why dean is here at all.

(and another, more bitter part of him is surprised to see him here without his precious sammy)

dean's pressed against a door, and sam's steps slow, because he's seen this exact scene in that one movie about the blair witch that terence made him watch at stanford. they had all jumped and laughed and rolled their eyes, but sam had sat straight as a board, beer sweating and unopened in his hand.

dean is clearly not looking at him, face pressed into the doorcrack like he's trying to smell or something. sam creeps forward, listening, but can only dean's quick breathing.

is he hurt? sam picks up his pace.

when he's directly behind him, he leans his head in close. he can smell his own shampoo in dean’s hair.

“dean!” he says suddenly, because it’s his big brother, and sam is legally obligated to be a little shit about it.

dean jumps like he just took a bullet to the kidney, and he slams both hands over his mouth. he whips around with glaring eyes, but he’s clearly shocked by something. something not-sam.

“what the hell?” dean asks, sharply, voice barely above a whisper.

“what are we doing?” sam asks, lowering his voice, too. is something wrong? what’s in the room? sam makes a step forward, but dean reaches a hand out to sam’s chest, keeping him there.

dean raises his other hand to his lips, motioning for sam to be quiet. sam hunches instinctively, and creeps forward quietly.

he and dean are sharing space next to the door, and sam presses even closer so dean’s back brushes his chest with every inhale. there’s a few-centimeter crack in the door, just enough for light to come through, but they can only see a sliver of a shelf from here.

there are voices, sam realizes. behind the door. they’re faint, but one is getting steadily quieter and louder, like they’re pacing back and forth from the door.

"--leave, already?"

a soft laugh. "you don't mean that."

a groan. "yeah, sammy, i kinda do. i don't like this. that we have to hide this."

sam knew it was their older selves, but the confirmation of it shoots a spark of nerves all the way down to his toes. why are they here?

“we’ve hidden this before. we hide literally everywhere. all the time.”

“but it’s us, y’know?”

“even more reason. could you imagine telling dean that this is how we end up?”

“kid’ll wet himself in glee, promise you that.” a silence. “what?”

“nothing. just…”

“d’ah, stop lookin’ at me like that.” dean grumbles. and his voice stops moving back and forth.

“or what?” challengingly. sam flushes, because he knows that tone of voice. he flirts with that voice. keep it together, man, he wants to scream to his older self. dean shifts in front of him.

“or i’ll come over there and make you,” dean says, and sam can feel the dean in front of him tense up.

there’s silence in the room for a second, and sam can feel the ragged inhales of the dean in front of him. sam’s palms are sweating.

“how long have they been here?” sam asks quietly, and if he didn’t know better, he would say dean shudders as his breath hits dean’s scalp.

“i don’t know. i just found them a few minutes ago. they’ve been talking about us.”

sam can feel dean’s voice rumble, and he closes his eyes, tight.

the silence reigns, and sam leans forward even more,

“what are they doing?”

sam reaches forward to push the door open. dean makes a wordless hushed sound of protest, but sam has already knocked the door open an inch. it’s silent on its hinges.

sam leans over dean, and his blood runs cold.

sammy is sitting on a table, facing the door. dean’s waist is pressed between his thighs, and one foot has hooked around dean’s calf to hold them close.

they’re kissing.

they’re kissing.

sam can hear the wet sounds their mouths make as they part and connect. tongues flash in the yellow over-head lights.

the dean in front of him makes a noise, shocked and…and something else.

“hate that i have to have you here, sammy. want to fuck you on the kitchen table, make them watch.”

sam watches his own face contort into a groan, watches older dean bite kisses down his throat. sammy’s lips are swollen and wet, and sam flushes hot because oh my god oh my fucking god—

“you like that idea, don’t you? spread you open for me, make your little favorite hear what a slut his older brother is? make him know you’re mine?”

younger dean’s hand flies to his mouth. sam desperately has to press a hand to his cock, and does so, praying that dean doesn’t turn around.

“no bites.” sammy pants, and tangles his hand in dean’s hair, pulling him away.

sam is shocked by the pure want and adoration on his older self’s face, and aches down to his very bones.

“can’t believe we wasted so much time.” he says, voice rough. his eyes are soft. older dean’s hand bunches in sammy’s shirt, and sam can see the tips of his ears go pink.

younger dean stumbles back, and slams into sam. sam jerks back with a yelp, throwing his hips away because he is terrified that dean is going to feel the hard swell of his dick in his jeans.

dean is panting, and his hand shakes on his mouth.

“oh my god,” dean whines. “they’re—together—they—“

“they’re fucking.” sam confirms, nodding and not knowing why. “they fuck. they fuck each other.”

“stop saying it!” dean whisper shouts, bending at the waist and standing up again, pacing in frantic little circles.

“together,” he’s muttering. “they’re—they—holy shit.”

sam’s heart is pumping in his ears. he can’t help it—he can’t—his eyes fall to dean’s crotch. there’s a bulge in his jeans. sam’s mouth goes dry. his whole body goes hot.

does…does dean—

“i don’t—“ sam says, but he doesn’t know what he’s going to follow that up with.

“yeah, i know.” dean says, laughing breathlessly. then his eyes get wide and he grabs a fist of his hair. “oh fuck. what are we gonna do?”

“pretend we didn’t see anything?” sam suggests.

“we were going to—y’know! to you!!! y’all!” dean says. he’s panicking. sam’s hope starts to curdle.

“say it—fuck. they’re fucking!” sam hisses. dean groans like he’s going to be sick.

dean put his hand over his mouth and starts muttering again. sam catches a few words. “kiss—how could he do that—little brother—we promised—can’t believe—“

something strange shifts in sam’s chest. since he was freshly 11—hell even before that, when he found out his kindergarten teacher was engaged, and sam found out what “marriage” meant, he had grabbed dean’s hand excitedly when he came to get him from the classroom and elatedly told him “we’re gettin’ married! i’m gonna marry you!” dad had later disabused him of that, and dean had crawled into their bed later that night and kissed sam’s tear-streaked cheeks. “it’s okay sammy,” he said, “i’m gonna be at your weddin’ anyway. standin’ right behind you.” sam’s stomach had curdled. “but if you’re really, super old—like 29–and you’re still not married, we can talk about it.”

sam had thought about it when he was 13 and watching dean press the girl of the month against the side of the impala from the motel window. 16 years to go, he had thought with all the tone and life of someone counting down the years of a terminal diagnosis. he had been rotting with this for years.

and they—future they—did it! are doing it? they…they’re together. in all the ways. in every way.

“i gotta go,” dean mutters, and sam catches one look at his overwhelmed expression before dean takes off. sam blinks after him, still processing.

together. he and dean together.

“dean,” sam calls. he’s shocked by how breathless he is, and clears his throat. “wait up!”

he follows his brother, like he’s been doing since he was six.

but for the first time in his life, his chest swells with a tentative, frantic hope. he’s afraid the weight of it—of them—will choke him. he doesn’t know what’s going to happen. dean probably won’t talk to him. but sam—he—it’s starting. this could go either way, but whatever this is—love, family, whatever—is starting.

and he can’t wait to find out.

~~~

“do you think they’re talking about it?” sammy asks later, washing his face before bed. dean is sitting on their bed with a cleaning cloth, freshly showered. “do you think it was enough of a kick in the ass?”

“knowing us, not a fucking shot.” dean says blandly, cleaning his gun. “at this rate, i think i will actually have to suck your cock in the library four times a day to get it to sink in.”

sam rolls his eyes, and dryly says, “romantic.” he adjusts his collar and his eyes land on a couple of splotchy bruises on his neck. “hey!” he leans out of the bathroom. “i think you actually left bruises.”

dean looks up, face purposefully placid.

“whoops. let’s hope pipsqueak doesn’t see those.”

sam scowls.

“you’ve got issues.”

dean lifts one shoulder up in a coy shrug and tilts his head.

“aw, baby. only for you.”

“you’re an ass!” sam calls as he steps back into the bathroom. he looks at his and dean’s toothbrushes sitting side-by-side.

he smiles. yeah.

they definitely got them.

~~~

PS - aw! thank you so much!!! it’s not weird at all! and yes, that's completely correct, haha! ES!Sam is for sure kissing Cas on both cheeks!

LS!Dean is the guy running up and trying to stop it but the poor fool is too late! they are embracing!

(I DO NOT KNOW WHY THE ONLY OTHER EXAMPLE OF THIS IN TUMBLR'S GIF LIBRARY IS FROM GABRIEL'S INFERNO, PLEASE IGNORE THE CONTEXT OH MY GOD AHAHAH)

anyway!!!

i am kissing you on both cheeks! so now we're both laughing! thank you for this ask, anon, it made me giggle! have a great day! <3

-lizzy

[silawastaken]

I'm SO sorry and I feel like such a loser for it sometimes but I really do just want to talk about the technical stuff behind the things I write sometimes. Both fanfic wise, poetry wise, and more recently music wise, but I always want to talk about the attention to detail, the foreshadowing, the way things change in the process of writing, the original concept vs the final product.

I really really hate it but my brain really is wired for literature, and there's nothing that can have me talking for as long as asking about the detail behind my fics. The only one you can really ask about without it becoming a nit-pick of all the flaws (which is never attention or compliment seeking, I genuinely don't like most of what I write or make) or talk about foreshadowing aspects without major spoilers is the (not so) perfect pair as it's complete and well thought out (in my opinion).

The music I'm working on currently, when the lyrics are written out they read as a love letter, which is intentional!!! but also you could ask about the specific ties that each lyric has– for example in 'Prophecies of the Morning Sun' the lyric "a single witness as heaven comes down" the implication is that (as the song is written as if from my perspective) my lover is heaven, and I (or, whoever was listening to the song) was the only witness to their arrival, or the only person to see them as they are.

And then, in the final verse "facing you to see heaven in your eyes" is supposed to tie back to the idea that in my (or, again, whoever was listening's) eyes, my lover is heaven to me. IT'S ALL INTENTIONAL (or maybe not, but it all connects in the end regardless).

Anyway I'm sorry, slight word dump over, I just really wish I had more opportunities to properly talk over what I do. I would love to write a long ass essay dissecting the (not so) perfect pair bit by bit but also. There is no audience for that lmao.

As the gold bleeds into grey is where I'm going insane over this specifically, as there is always some detail which I am trying to point out without having to explicitly state it, but I feel the need to make sure people know what I'm doing. Especially with the most recent chapter (chapter ten – spoilers) where Chuuya is leading Dazai through Yokohama while it's busy, and he doesn't want to show his concern that Dazai was still following by looking back to check on him, but he does so anyway because he loves him.

This is a reference to Orpheus and Eurydice, which is why the chapter is titled 'Orpheus and denial', because in this Chuuya is supposed to represent Orpheus, but he also refuses to admit he still loves Dazai (whether to himself or to Dazai is up for interpretation– he's complex enough that even I don't know) and it was driving me insane that I couldn't explicitly state 'Hey! This is a reference!' because that's not what I want to do!!!! Ugh. Sorry. Soooo not worth this but I am constantly thinking about it lmao.

I'm always adding little details like that, I'm always referencing canon and making decisions about certain numbers to use for things (such as their room being number 15 on floor 3. They met at 15 in canon, and knew each other for three years before the split at eighteen. There's also another reason for it involving 15 and 3 years which would be Spoiling It but there's another reason behind that choice too).

If you ask me, I can tell you what characters who are never even mentioned in the main story of tnspp were doing at different points in the story. My au's are SOOOO carefully thought out most of the time.

Anyway. Yap actually over this time. Sorry I should really talk less lmao

[seoafin]

how does poly rip!verse geto fuck? i keep thinking about your horny aggression post and of geto coming back to take rip!mc against the counter and stealing her panties in uhhhhhhhh one of your fics (i've reread them all so many times now i cant actually remember which one the scene just lives in my head rent free) so! just wondering! about geto bc i feel like gojo has gotten his fair share already lmao (though i love them both). hope you're doing well!! i'm probably gonna read hell's paradise bc of you soon also!

a a a aa a a a a

idk if this makes sense but while gojo is more playful geto is more of a tease!!! and a liar. he lies so much ("just one, I promise") and he does it all with a smile you fall for every single time. then he'll wait for you to abashedly lift up your skirt or dress to flash him the panties he and gojo picked out for you to wear hours earlier. but it's never just one, and most times, the night's over before it ever really began, with you on your knees, your face pressed to a pillow while geto takes you apart with his fingers and tongue until you're all strung out and thinking only of him. i know a lot of people attribute orgasm denial to geto and i agree to an extent that it's just enough to get you pleading but also i think stsg are both very indulgent with you to a fault. they just can't deny you, especially when you're the one asking, especially since you never really ask for anything. i do think geto tends to use humiliation and when he's jealous he's ruthless with it. and im talking unspeakable acts so absolutely [redacted] that you can't meet anyone's eye in the morning 😭😭😭 he's soooooooo 😭😭😭😭 like i said before i think once gojo finally goads geto into being more open with his desires (towards you) it's no holds barred. he is a nasty freak and so totally unrepentant about it (just like a certain someone else).

ALSO i think geto's more of an exhibitionist than gojo. i think full exhibitionisim is a hard no for the both of them but also geto's not above making you get on your knees in a public bathroom and take care of him. with geto you always get some sort of comfort and kindness and reassurance before he's fucking you to incoherence. i think he's fond of cupping your face, brushing your cheek with his knuckles, or pecking you on the cheek, and it's seemingly sweet!!!! but you've long learned to associate it as a warning lmfao he's also very very fond of bringing you to tears and being the one to wipe them away. if gojo is a blunt force geto is a wheedling whisper. somehow you'll find yourself doing things you've never thought you'd be doing if geto hadn't nicely innocently asked. and his requests are always vague enough that when you find yourself agreeing (he just asked for some help later!), the deal is always sealed with a smile (you've signed your death warrant)

you can always worm your way out of satoru's own requests by not taking him seriously (like when he asked you to wear a maid costume) and he's so shameless about it that it's easy, but geto makes it...so much harder to refuse him. especially when he looks so sad. he's so evil 😭 the two of them fully take advantage of this and routinely use this method to get their way. absolutely horrible!!!!

in the end i think geto is probably somewhat aware of the fact that you bring out all of their (gojo included) worst impulses while gojo just accepts it as a natural byproduct of their love. all in all i think stsg keep each other in check when it comes to their overwhelming need to...smother you 💀

[alexanderlightweight]

Prompt for Wednesday, if it pleases 💜

I know you literally just posted marriage of inconvenience, so totally get it if you don’t wanna think about it anymore, but I am obsessed, fascinated, been thinking about it all day. I especially love that we got Magnus’s take on things, and also Jem taking one look at Alec and being like “lmao Magnus of course when you steal a Nephilim you pick top shelf”

The actual prompt—what is everyone else’s reaction!? Jace, bereft of a sucker to tie Clary to? Maryse, mother-in-law to Magnus Bane. The Clave, suddenly missing their scapegoat/fix it guy? How does the warlock community take Magnus suddenly being married/bonded after like four hours of conversation. Do the NY shadowhunters loyal to Alec (because we love a competent, well-loved and respected HOTI Alec) think Alec’s been enchanted or are they just happy he’s with anyone but Clary?

And, of course, any Malec post-fic vibes you have are always loved, valued, and appreciated.

i actually wrote half of it three years ago and the rest just recently when my health got better, so i'm not exhausted with it or anything, but thank you for checking that's incredibly sweet. i actually really love that verse and have filled a few other prompts for more of it so this was fun and I finally tackled a non malec pov for this fic. i hope you enjoy!

also please remember Jace is an unreliable narrator dealing with a lot of trauma and also self-denial. he thinks he's in love with his sister and he's really struggling with that. A LOT. he canonically doesn't think of alec's feeling and wellbeing until last or when alec's injuries pain jace (which he doesn't have in this verse). he's so caught up in clary and wanting clary that he can't even try to understand why alec would be upset with marrying her when it's all jace wants/ed.

--

Jace is pacing frantically through the Institute halls.  

Alec hasn’t been seen since he went out for a lone patrol and reported everything was fine and that he was marking some new streets that had been renamed.

That was fine.

Everyone knows that Alec is trying very desperately to spend as little time as possible in the Institute because of the impending wedding.

Which is just selfish to Jace.  

Alec gets to marry Jace’s sister. The girl Jace thought he could love, Clary. Who is absolutely amazing and perfect and Jace still wishes, sometimes though he never lingers on it. 

But Alec is acting like he’s being stabbed through the heart and tortured or even deruned.  Jace has never seen him so miserable in their entire life and he doesn’t get it.

He wishes, once again, that Alec hadn’t backed out of their parabatai bond. That Alec hadn’t made the excuse of, ‘we want different things and positions in life, Jace’.  Like it was that big of a deal that Jace had no intention of someday being a Head of Institute or Consul or Inquisitor or some higher position like Alec wanted. Jace would be happy to be a commander, but he also wasn’t fussed about when it happened. 

Sure things got a little boring, but commanders had more paperwork and weren’t sent out on as many missions. Jace wanted to wait before he stuck himself half-behind a desk like Alec was trying so hard to do.

So in that way, he had understood a little, that it would have been hard when Alec achieved his goals and went to Idris and Jace stayed at whatever Institute he was a part of. It had hurt though, the rejection and this hurts even more. They could finally be brothers, since they aren’t parabatai.  They could call each other brother and it would be recognized and if Jace can’t have Clary then the only person he would want to, is Alec. 

“Izzy!” He calls when he sees her.  She’s been hot and cold since the marriage was announced.  Acting like she’s both thrilled Clary is going to become family and also guilty, avoiding Alec who isn’t even talking to her. 

Which may be why she’s avoiding him. Izzy hates it more than any of them when Alec shuts them out.

“Jace.” And she’s not smiling, she hasn’t been smiling much unless Clary or that mundie pest of Clary’s is around. “Have you seen Alec?”

“No, I was just about to ask you. Any ideas? He should have been back by now, even if he did spend all night out alone to avoid everyone, it’s noon. He never stays out this late.”

Izzy looks as worried and miserable as Jace feels and he’s about to suggest they go talk to Hodge when a fire message appears out of the air and Izzy snatches it with whip-like reflexes. 

“It’s from Alec.” She sounds relieved but instead of a smile her face twists further into a frown.

“What is it, Iz?” Jace asks leaning close over her shoulder to peer at the note. It’s weird, Izzy still feels more like his sister than Clary and he wishes he could figure out how to have that kind of easy, sibling relationship with Clary.

He’s hoping it will be better after Alec marries her, he would never covet Alec’s wife. Couldn’t, it would be too big a betrayal of the bond they share and have nurtured since childhood. That Alec was and is the only one Jace would tie his soul to, because he wants Alec to be tied to him in return.

To always be Alec’s little brother, to be protected and cared for the way Alec has always done for Izzy and Max and Jace once he became as close a Lightwood as he could come.

“He’s not coming back until the day of the wedding, apparently he’s decided that he just needs a few days to himself.”

Jace wants to hit something, preferably Alec at the moment.

“So what, he’s just going to leave before the wedding? What is Clary supposed to think about this? Did he even think about how she’s going to feel?”

“I’m pretty sure you’re more upset than Clary will be,” Izzy says slowly, watching him carefully. “Are you okay?”

“No, I’m not okay! Alec is ruining this for everyone, why can’t he just stop for a minute?”

“Hey!” And Izzy sounds upset now and Jace hates it when she’s upset. It reminds him of her when she was eleven and crying because Jace wasn’t handling the transition of living with the Lightwood’s very well. Alec had told him that if he ever made Izzy cry again, Jace could forget Alec being his brother, because he wasn’t going to be a brother to someone who purposefully made their siblings cry. 

“Alec didn’t choose this. Remember! This was picked by everyone but him.” And Jace recognizes now what the guilt he’s seen on her is from. “If he needs a few days to wrap his head around not getting a choice, then he gets them. No tracking him, Jace. I’m serious.” And Izzy clips off, only her hands clenching and unclenching again and again betray her guilt and what Jace thinks might be shame.

He does feel a little bad, but not enough to be guilty. 

Anyone should be honored to marry Clary, Jace’s sister. Alec is just being stubborn because he and Clary butted heads when she showed up. Once Alec’s back and the wedding has happened, things will be fine. Better than fine, they’ll all be family.

[msfbgraves]

((Anyway, Terry is always haunted by the fact that he hurt his relationship with Daniel himself, on purpose,))

THAT’S JUST IT THOUGH! Did he actively seek to hurt Daniel from the start (that night), or after (the cheating). Because if so…that’s so very cruel and brutal, and also…what the hell was he thinking?? That sweet Danny boy would just accept that and forgive him and still run back into his arms all ready to be cuddled or something?? There’s fucking up, and then there’s Terry Silver’s level of Fucking Up. He is very lucky that Daniel has forgiven him for ALL his fuckups—he should get down on his knees and thank the Lord! So sorry you have to put up with this fool Daniel lmao 🤣 I AM glad it haunts Terry though. Hopefully until the day he dies!

(But yeah, love them together in this fic 💜)

I'm reopening a can of worms here but yes, Terry did mean to hurt Daniel, if it started by him wanting to hurt Michael.

Except he couldn't, he lost a confrontation with him, felt he'd lost face, so what's the nearest thing to Michael he has available to him? Daniel. Daniel whose loyalty he doubts. Daniel he can have sex with, always a bonus, because it makes him feel good and strong; but tonight, he's also angry with Michael, very lowkey angry and insecure about Daniel's very strong attachment to his roots - would Daniel even side with him if it came to it? And sure, he's not analysing this consciously when he comes home to him, it's simply a brutal mix of circumstances, but still - you can hurt someone while having sex with them, something which is very difficult to prove to boot so when the opportunity arises he simply does what he wants with Daniel because he wants to prop himself up and hurt the LaRussos and get his anger out at Daniel's 'lack of loyalty' without endangering Daniel's physical health. Because that would show. And because he still loves him but that's not what he chooses to act on. And he's choosing not to stop himself but simply let out all these simmering irrational resentments, because, well, he's the Alpha here, he makes the rules.

And he thinks he can win his omega back after because he deep down doesn't think his mate will be very hurt by this. Hurt enough to satisfy Terry's ego, but nothing he couldn't fix. And all of this errupts in like 20 angry seconds, and Terry's angry, horny ass feels he'll deal with the consequences after he gets his fix of happy and ego boosting chemicals.

And a nice deep sleep.

And it's brutal. It's meant to be really brutal. It's so brutal in fact that even Terry wakes up hungover from this. He was, maybe, lost in the act when it happened - but part of him picked up on what Daniel's puppies could also feel, and that is: "uhoh. I hurt him - much more than I meant to."

But then when Daniel won't let him apologise - won't let himself be kissed and cuddled and wined and dined and bought back, but takes the baby and leaves, only for Terry to have to deal with four distraught pups and a seething mother-in-law - he lets his anger win again. Because he wasn't truly sorry. Daniel was supposed to make him feel better about himself, and he's left him. That is Not Allowed. Danny doesn't get to reject Terry, in any verse.

Only when Terry then physically feels the difference between his darling and some "kitty" does something finally shut up his ego long enough to make him realise what he's done, the idiot.

These two nights have a very, very long shadow because Terry had to learn that he didn't conquer Daniel and a great marriage like this is simply his due. He has a good marriage because Daniel has put his entire soul into building it and he can stop doing that, actually. Also that Terry better pray Daniel loves his mate and his pups enough to keep Terry alive. Even Amanda was like: "I love my brother to death but even I lowkey agree you should have killed him over this." And Terry does learn, but terrible actions like these have more severe consequences than any apology can negate. And it will colour your marriage, it will change how you love each other. Because they love each other through this, but at the cost of Daniel's innocence and Terry's confidence as a mate. Part of Terry used to fear that Daniel wouldn't grow to love him. Now, he'll always have to fear that Daniel will stop. Which makes him an insanely devoted mate, but at the cost of his peace of mind.

Pray all he wants, not even God can fix this completely.

[direwombat]

2, 11, 12, and 18 for the OTP asks🖤 both pairings if you feel up to it! I'd love to snoop on the difference for Syb! Please and thank you😌💕

fd;lajfdahhh thank you and sorry this took so long for me to get to whoops. anyway. there's a lot of similarities between jakesyb and sybeli (girl has a type and it's rugged mountain man, what can I say?) but there are definitely some differences (mostly that sybeli is actually a fairly healthy and normal relationship f;lakjfafdadlf;j)

2. Any sleep habits either had to get used to?

lmao no, not really. mostly because neither of them sleep if they can't help it. they're both "late to bed, early to rise." there's always more work to be done, so they occasionally go a few days without sleeping (also they like to avoid the Nightmares). but they do find that they sleep better when they're together which is a welcome surprise.

11. What is their love language?

I mean multiple apply, but if I had to pick one, it'd be acts of service. they will do absolutely anything for each other (whether they like it or not lmao). they're both cut from the same self-sacrificial cloth and are willing to die for each other. but also...it's in the little things; a fresh cup of coffee after the previous one has gone cold. packing extra supplies because they know the other is going to need it. stuff like that :)

12. How Are there communication skills?

BAD. OVERWHELMINGLY BAD. at least at first. both of them would rather pull their own teeth than have a single conversation that involves any kind of vulnerability. but what they don't express verbally they do pick up on in body language/behavior. they grow out of it eventually (ie, once syb finally gets it through her thick skull that the love is mutual), but it takes a while. that said, even when they were enemies, they were good at communicating during combat the handful of times they were on the same side. they aren't awful as a team and as they grow closer, get better at communicating, and eventually end up on the same side, they actually make a fucking terrifying duo.

18. Evening rituals?

i'm choosing to interpret this as "before bed" rituals because time is meaningless they'll go to bed at noon after staying up for 72+ hours. that pre-sleeptime ritual typically consists of them showering (or bathing) together, giving each other back massages, and then syb will put on a record or the radio and Jacob will read (sometimes quietly to himself, sometimes out loud to her if she asks him to) and if they're lucky they'll both fall asleep curled up together <3

2. Any sleep habits either had to get used to?

lol kinda same deal as with jakesyb. neither of them sleep very much (in their "canon" verse). jacob never sleeps so they can't afford to either. if anything I think it's mostly just the two of them getting used to finding the other just passed out somewhere in the bunker (having obviously fallen asleep in the middle of an activity).

11. What is their love language?

(again, assuming i can only pick one) quality time. they're friends before they're anything else, so a lot of their relationship developed just...hanging out, scouting/hunting together, watching the security cams, taking inventory, and cleaning their weapons. they just really like hanging out with each other <3

12. How Are there communication skills?

f;alksfdjaldfk well...syb's communication skills are about the same (bad) but eli is significantly better at it than Jacob is. he'll...y'know...actually talk about things that are upsetting him whereas syb keeps things bottled up. his healthier emotional habits eventually start rubbing off on her and he manages to coax her into opening up but it takes fucking work.

18. Evening rituals?

time is meaningless when you're fighting a holy war against a skilled and aggressive soldier. but when they eventually do decide it's bedtime (as opposed to passing out wherever they are) their ritual is: swap between the single person shower and brushing teeth, and just kind of stumble into bed (ie, they're sharing a tiny little cot or that couch in the bunker). sometimes sex happens if they have enough energy, but most of the time they just pass out in a tangle of limbs.

[ay-chuu]

Hello there! Can I get a twisted wonderland matchup? Starting off with my appearance I'm chubby and 5'1 with long ginger hair. I am a short king :). Regarding mbti I'm an ENTP. Also, with my personality my friends would describe me as "bubbly, weird, smart, honest, and kind". I asked em for traits for random internet quizzes so that's what they told me lol. Despite being a bit of an extrovert I also highly value my alone time to the degree I can become quite introverted. Moving onto hobbies I like playing video games, watching YouTube videos on random topics I'm interested in, listening to music, and reading. My favorite games tend to be RPGs. My fav games are probs Dragon Age, Skyrim, and Tomodachi life. I love to create characters in games and explore, and I especially enjoy building houses in games. Idk why but building houses gives me such joy. My favorite part of Skyrim is unironically the dlc that lets you build a house. I love to build that house and then get a husband and some kids. I consider that my end game goal verses the main quest which I've never actually finished despite putting 200 hours into Skyrim. For movies well I don't rlly watch movies much but my favorite series is probably star wars. Especially the prequels because I enjoy the characters more in those films and all the lore it adds. For music I kinda listen to everything, but my favorite artist is probably Hozier. The only genre I dislike is screamo probs. For things I hate uhhh I guess I dislike bugs, being put under pressure, and small spaces as I'm claustrophobic. Finally, going onto favorite idol I am going to go with a hisotrical example as I also love to learn about hisotry. I have many examples I could pick for figures I admire, but I'll go with a more famous example, Oscar Wilde. Just in case you don't know, Oscar wilde was a famous Irish author and playwright during the late 1800s. He was quite controversial for his opinions on art and morality, and he was a gay man at time where that was illegal. All of this lead up to him eventually getting arrested and jailed. I admire him because he didn't care that society thought he was wrong and immoral, he lived his life and gave his opinions despite it. Anyway that's it thanks!

You're very welcome! (´꒳`)♡

I match you with... (っ＾▿＾)💨

ACE TRAPPOLA (pls ignore the gif i only could find that T^T)

I always thought ESFP and ENTP were one of the most compatible couples! Because the feature that some cannot provide against life, the other provides both for theirself and for their partner <3 I think Ace is very supportive in general, but because he is a tsundere, he only clearly shows it to someone he is very close to. he loves your life idol and way of thinking!

You used to make fun of each other a lot at first, but then you suddenly fell in love with each other and Deuce was like "🧍🏻" between you LOL SDFKGLSDFJGLJDF While you liked his secret softness, supportiveness, sincerity and liveliness in general, he loved your intelligence, funnyness, kindness and self-confidence. Opening up to each other was thanks to Deuce, but the moment you did it, you both realized that you both completed each other.

If there is going to be a problem in your relationship, I think it's because Ace is too sarcastic when he's angry sometimes and you can't stand it and annoy him even more with clever answers. Usually this ends in fights and the fights are quite childish. After about a week, even though you miss each other, you can't break your pride. As a result grim and deuce will be together and reconcile you somehow because GOD you are irresistible you love birds LMAO.

Finally, some moments I dream of for you two: Entertaining each other while studying the lessons you have difficulty with, a sweet Ace who tries to comment on what you read to him even if he is not smart enough, you mess up and end up in Crowley's room while trying the action in the youtube video you watched, one of the rare and weird but cute moments you experience expressing your love for each other in words and kissing - grim saw that kiss he says its remains traumatic JKLASDF - and finally, when you realize that you will support each other no matter what in your life, you hold your hands tighter and look at each other and smile <3

[mythvoiced]

-. wenzhe-core (pt. 2 now with SAD) (main-verse)

will always look younger than he is i've cursed him like this on purpose and yes it is a curse if you're 22 and someone is surprised you're not a minor anymore (i'm talking from EXPERIENCE--)

not a single pen of his has ever made it to an ownership lasting longer than 2 weeks because he loses them all always without fail

holes for earrings, but only studs, and REALLY TIGHT because he will lose them in his bed and if he takes them off instead he'll lose them in his clothes or literally anywhere

taller than most his friends because most of his friends are (cis) girls and because girls gravitate towards him to have a lanky friend to block Bad Men with

love confessions by students (sO ICKY HE FEELS SO ICKY)

reading glasses wearer, 'where are my glasses' he asks while they sit on his head, reaches up to check if they're on his head and knocks them straight off his head

thinking the social network is one of the most tragic love stories he's ever seen

being way too passionate for a supposed ally and never realizing until it's too late

somehow managing to be extremely considerate between one ridiculous one-liner and the next

beautiful handwriting YES but useless because TOO SMALL

never needs to check a grocery list if he's made one he will remember every item

will promptly forget everything he intended to buy if he did not make a grocery list at one point

gets creative with his contacts and how he names them and then forgets who's who

never deletes or blocks a number, he needs to know if a bitch is trying to reach out again, if it is a bitch calling, he'll still pick up with 'hello? who's this?'

he's actually a massive compulsive liar but he's half-self-aware about it because half the time he'll say a lie that did not need to be one, like, he did not have to lie about that, what-- he'll just 'haha lmao anyways-' and follow it up with the truth

his self-irony sense of humour goes from: self-deprecating derailing mental health to narcissist in training, hardly any in between

every time a girl shows him a guy and asks for his thoughts he enters a final fantasy boss-fight in his head, on one side he doesn't want to vocalize if he's shit when he's shit and he can tell because it might hurt her, on the other if he's too positive and approving it sounds GAY--

about a game he has 500 hours on: gosh this game is so fucking stupid

wenzhe cannot legally consume anything with jam.es ch.ee.k in the cast it's bad for his bisexuality

yes, wenzhe does fulfill the bisexual meme of being completely at the mummy (1999)'s mercy

"there's this song i found in a spotify song radio that i think you should listen to" is basically wenzhe confessing his undying loyalty and love (any kind) towards you

can always be roped into handling more of a thing than what would be fair, and he'd do this while being completely self-aware he's being screwed over/he has too much on his plate already

has never had a boyfriend, has had romantic feelings towards men and has ruined friendships about it because he got weird about it

has had girlfriends but doesn't really have his shit together well enough to keep one, he's not a bad boyfriend per se but most people would like a little more attention, affection, initiative, you name it

conversations starting with 'did you know-'

acts of service, remembering your taste your favourites, things like that are his love language

has begun estranging himself from most of his relationships ever since Her death but subtly and slowly enough most'll probably only notice months down the line where suddenly 'hey... wait, has anyone heard from wenzhe lately?'

had an unsent text he wanted to send Her from after her death, the text read 'I'm so sorry'

broke his phone in the breakdown that followed that text, got a new phone, re-added her number to his contacts

hers is the only one he saved with her actual name (虞倩如, Yú Qiànrú)

guys i cannOT stress how close to spiraling he is lmao

[kankuroplease]

Could you feed us some hcs for itama and gou in a modern day or college AU 🥹🥹

Disclaimer: Gou and Itama wouldn’t attend the same college and Itama is about 3 years older than Gou. I also took other liberties as usual and this got a bit long winded on their start up lmao

Gou is going to a school of fashion. She’s always wanted to make a very inclusive cutesy brand for all~

Her mother isn’t thrilled with her choice in career, but she’s still helping her pay for her apartment rental as she did actually get several grants and a 50% scholarship

She works part-time at a cafe to help pay for her other needs/experiences, she’s got a current project that’s fighting her every step of the way, and she’s working an unpaid internship for a fussy boss in the industry

Has the cutest pet chinchilla named Beastie, has great friends like Lee and Fuu, she’s got cuties messaging her, her fussy instructor didn’t have anything negative to say for once about her work, her parents comes to visit every so often and bring gifts in the form of groceries/cook her a weeks worth of food she can just reheat, and her small social media account is finally getting some attention

Basically her life is a little hectic, but great~

That is until a fire breaks out in the apartment building she’s staying in one night. Her neighbors screaming about it, got her attention way from the show she was watching

She went to pick up Beastie who was roaming freely, but he was no where to be found and panic set in as she looked for him. She could not leave her son to possibly burn

When she finally does find him hiding in her bedroom, smoke is coming in from under her door and she’s FULL PANICKED

All she can do is move to her balcony and scream for the firefighters who are on scene by now

And THANKFULLY they spot her

Of course she’s crying over all of this, tears blurring her vision

So when a fire fighter finally reaches her on the ladder, all she hears is this really comforting voice encouraging her to get on the ladder carefully but quickly, he’ll hold the pet

He keeps saying things like “you’re going to be okay” and “you’re doing good, keep going”

Honestly she sort of wishes he’d stop as she’s really trying to make it down this ladder with her wobbly legs and the smoke is choking her up a bit 😭

By the time she gets to the bottom she’s just so grateful to have down/alive

And when she turns to her rescuer, it’s the sweetest looking man with gentle eyes and two toned hair, hold her Beastie carefully in his blanket.

It’s pretty much a blur at that point as he hands her pet back, giving her a weary look as the medical team rushes over to check on her

All very scary in hindsight and Gou camps out on Fuu’s couch for a few days as she takes time to grasp just what happened and what this all means; designs gone, computer gone, building uninhabitable, everything but her and Beastie

She got lectured by almost everyone about spending time searching for a pet verses getting out immediately

She’s just grateful there was no casualties and Fuu is helping her by letting her stay with him and his roommates. Who all pity her and love Beastie

Anyways back on track, she doesn’t stay there for long because she loves her privacy.

Thankfully, she’s able to rent a small from one of her mother’s friends for half price kills her soul a bit to have to ask her parents for more help

And after a few weeks, she picks up a few extra shifts at the cafe to try and keep herself a bit busy, willingly taking opening shifts and that when it happens

She hears the bell, turns around to greet the customer and it’s HIM

The cute firefighter that rescued her and has seen her looking a wreck in her comfy clothes, messy hair, snot and tears everywhere.

Yikes 😬

She greets him and he has the warmest smile and tells her his order in the same soothing she remembers.Literally, someone HELP

Now that she’s stealing glance at him, she can see that his hair isn’t dyed? It apparently grows like that as his eyebrows match his polar opposite hair colors on their respective sides

Their eyes meet. She looks down

“Hey, um— this might sound strange but, do you remember me?”

Yes, but she wants your cute self to not remember her 💀

Gou takes what feels like forever to respond and Itama is feeling anxious

He’s honestly been worried about the grey eyed young woman and her chinchilla. She was trembling so badly and he couldn’t shake the image of her

Seeing her now she looks fine. More than fine, she’s actually really beautiful and now he’s regretting asking her that question so awkwardly

She smiles at him and tells him it’s on the house, her small thank you for rescuing her.

He’s hesitant to accept but she insist.

From there, they have small talk about how she’s been doing, how Beastie is, and she finds out his name is Itama and he remembered her name (which she doesn’t remember giving, she did)

He’s impressed she’s in school for fashion and empathetic about what she’s lost

She gives him her account name for her social media and tells him he can keep an eye out for Beastie as he’s often featured there

Itama lights up a bit when she tells him “see you around, hero”, half bumping the door frame

So he’s a little clumsy. Cuuuute 😊

Itama created his own account just to follow her that day

It’s not really his thing but he tells himself it will be good to support a future designer

But he’s not really prepared for how fun she is on her account. Sure there’s glamour shots but there’s also her doing cartwheels with her friends, her and Beastie wearing matching muumuus, and… KAWARAMA!?

He’s never called his little brother faster in his life to question if he knows Gou

And Kawarama’s like, Yes? She’s one of Okami’s friends and I model for her sometimes. How do you know her and why are you asking?

Itama tells him how he helped rescue her about a month ago, that he met her again at her job today, and saw him in a pink blouse on her page

Kawarama starts laughing and taunting that “someone’s gotta crush~”. It’s 7 am and you just met her TODAY, MADE AN ACCOUNT TODAY, scrolled her page for far enough to see THAT POST from months ago, AND you’re calling him about all this? Yeah he’s down bad

Can’t say he’s surprised? he’s probably pent up and Gou is usually dolled up, plus she pretty. He knows he likes those types from how hard he’d blush around them when they were kids and apparently his taste hasn’t changed at all 😂

Itama’s blushing as he hangs up mid laugh. Kawarama’s not entirely wrong but he’s not about to be mocked by his little brother (liberties✨)

Should’ve asked one of his brothers how the whole lurking thing works before he went ahead and liked all her post

She got a good laugh seeing a very familiar name all over her notifications and is honestly flattered extremely he’s a hottie, huge, likes fashion, and Beastie? 👀

They don’t have much contact over social media, but Itama makes a point of learning how to use his account, following his brothers, and sees that Tobirama has a fan page??

Things stay distant for awhile because Itama’s too nervous after he’s been informed that liking all her stuff may seem a bit weird to her

He’s been to that cafe plenty of times before ever meeting Gou, so he’s almost certain she doesn’t open regularly

But that doesn’t stop him from hoping she’s there again as she’s very easy to talk to and a bit unforgettable

Itama is sort of starts panicking now. Is this inappropriate? He doesn’t want her to think he’s a creepy stalker 💀

He ask Hashirama what he should do and is told to ask her out, the worst that can happen is she’ll say no. But if she says yes, good for him!

Itama’s not buying it. What if she yells at him? Or calls the cops because of him showing up at her shop after she shoots him down? He’s going to keep these feelings to himself 😞

Sure they text now, but he lets her contact him first as to not give away his interest

And he does for a few months, still stopping by the shop on his days off. Sometimes she’s there and they have small talk about this or that, but most days she’s not. His coworkers notice him checking his phone more often and how he’s been signing a bit more lately

He’s actually really happy his work keeps him busy so he doesn’t get much down time to keep checking to see if she’s contacted him that that

One day Gou text him if he likes fusion food and he’s responds quickly that he does (no he doesn’t need details/he’s not a picky eater). And just as quickly she responds asking when he’s free.

The tomorrow? Perfect. Dinner at her new place tomorrow as a ‘thank you’ and he’s welcome to bring a friend! She gives her address and told to come around 6 tomorrow with an appetite

Itama shows up on time nervous and not knowing what to expect but if there’s one thing working with Genma at the fire station has taught him is bring protection

He’s put at ease a little when she opens the door, greeting him fully dressed definitely not matching Genma’s story

Gou tells him make himself at home while she finish up with the food and he can play with Beastie too if he wants. His home is in the corner near the couch

First thing he notices is how everything is bright colored and as whimsical as she is. Second thing he notices is the “spinning” pole. luckily Beastie starts rattling his house so that makes him refocus on the cute animal verses where his thoughts went 😅

Gou is barely containing herself. A cute guy, no, ITAMA ALONE, in her apartment!? Calm down, woman. But he looks so cute sitting there all nervous and getting swatted by her sassy baby

Dinner is amazing, which Gou’s very proud of not burning anything but she cockily tells him he’s lucky because, although she’s a good cook, she doesn’t often do it.

This is a very special thank you, just for him. So don’t go around telling people she can cook no really, don’t. her parents won’t make her food anymore if they knew

They’re both a little buzzed and decide to watch a movie because neither of them wanted to end the evening just yet

They pick a “feel good” movie because Gou thinks it’s a safe bet. It wasn’t. They both end up crying a little bit because of the plot

Then looking at each other and laughing a bit because neither one of them expected the other to be crying too

Itama tries to apologize for it or but Gou insists it’s not a big deal, she cries all the time. Plus he’s seen her ugly crying face twice now, so she should be the one apologizing

“even when you’re crying, you’re beautiful” slips out of his mouth

It’s at that moment Gou leans her head on his shoulder and tells him ‘thank you’ and that she thinks he’s beautiful too. Both inside and out.

And that’s the final push for Itama, he tells her how much he’s happy to have met her (sorry about how it happened?? But yeah) and how he finds himself becoming more and more curious about her the more time goes by

Gou: as a friend?

Itama: no, in a romantic way

Too stunned to speak when she cups his face and smooches him good but definitely returns the kiss

After that, they become a couple

You know those couples that coordinate their outfits? That’s them.

Also the “no, you hang up” couple. Genma has indeed hung up the phone for Itama at the firehouse after 3 minutes of them doing this.

Gou actually enjoys cooking and surprising him with meals because he looks so happy whenever she does

Itama is really supportive of her dreams and likes shopping with her for materials and helps her set up the studio

They get matching tiny heart tattoos

Itama likes kissing her forehead and tip of her nose

Gou likes kissing the back of his hand and cheek

Lee and Fuu have heard how amazing Gou’s new bf is and feel like they already know him by the time they meet

Her parents LOVE him and Gou gets along with 2 out of 3 of his brothers

They both get really attached very quickly in relationships and it’s a bit worrisome to their friends and family but both sides can agree that their loved one is safe with one another

[turning-dreams-into-chaos]

Me and You

(Luke Patterson x Reader) (Julie and the Phantoms)

Word Count: 1.6K

~Master~

A/N: Alrighty! So this is my first time writing for JATP! I tried y’all, I did, let me know what you think and if I should write more at some point cause I’m curious now lmao. 

This was mainly written for me, I’ll be honest. 

@hyperion-moonbabe-art3mis YOUR MOVE...

***

The constant strumming of Luke’s guitar as he practiced kept pulling your attention away from the book in front of you, one you snagged from Julie’s bookshelf. You were almost done with it, but you preferred to read in silence, something you couldn’t do with Mr. Rockstar over there.

“Must you practice when I’m trying to read?” You groaned, tossing your head back on the couch you were laying across as you stared up at the ceiling.

Luke just laughed, strumming a chord on his guitar that he’d been trying out for ages now. “Must you read when I’m trying to practice?” You shot him a look but Luke only smirked at you, making you only slightly annoyed.

“You always do this.” You said, rolling off the couch and coming to lean over the piano. “Ever since we were young, it was always you playing when I read.” Luke could tell you weren’t mad at him or upset from the small smile on your face as you picked up the paper in front of him. “New song?”

Luke nodded, leaning on his elbow on the piano as he looked at you. Your eyes were reading the paper, slowly mouthing the words as your lips slowly curled up in a smile. Luke licked his lips, never looking away from you as he cleared his throat. “Wanna give it a go?”

You had to keep from laughing at Luke’s offer. “Thanks, but I’m good. I think I’ll leave the singing to Julie and you.” you started to walk away but Luke grabbed your hand before you could, giving you a dimply smile that you knew you couldn’t say no to.

“Come on, Y/N. I haven’t heard you play and sing in a while.” He pushed the sheet music towards you. “Just give it a go.” You took a deep breath, staring at him as he squeezed your hand. You hated playing in front of people, and Luke knew that, but he also knew you were comfortable with him. If you were going to sing in front of anyone, it would be him.

You sighed, nodding your head and smiling. Luke playfully cheered as you laughed. You grabbed the paper, sitting down in front of the piano as Luke sat next to you, holding his guitar so it wouldn’t hit you.  “You sure about this?” you asked, seeing Luke roll his eyes. He took your hands and put them on the piano.

“Play.” He said, nudging you gently. Before you could doubt yourself, you started playing the first few notes of Stand Tall. Luke watched you play, a smile budding at his face as he listened. It had been so long since he heard you play, even longer since he heard you sing. He missed it.

Luke waited, hearing you play the intro again and again, but you never sang. Instead, you stopped playing, letting out a small sigh as your hands fell to your side. “I can’t.”

“It’s just us.” He whispered, grabbing your hand again. He brought your hands to the piano, placing his on top. Goosebumps tickled your skin as you turned your head, finding Luke closer than he was before. His eyes met yours as he pressed your fingers down, hearing the notes play as you both stayed looking at each other. When you didn’t start singing, Luke played the intro again, and again as he smiled at you. “It’s just me and you, you can do it.”

You nodded, finally looking away as you felt Luke’s hand remove themselves, but he didn’t scoot back. You took a deep breath. “Don’t blink, No I don’t want to miss it” you sang out beautifully as Luke’s heart soared, hearing your slight wobble before you found your confidence and your smile slowly grew on your face. “One thing and it’s back to the beginning, ‘cause everything is rushing in fast, keep going on, never look back,” Luke joined you in the next verse, helping you with the song as he played his guitar. Neither one of your smiles faded until the last notes rang out in the air, ending the song and leaving you both in a perfect silence.

Luke pushed himself off the piano bench you were sharing, spinning around before reaching forwards and grabbing your hands, pulling you up as well. “That was amazing. Y/N!” He cried out, wrapping his arms around your waist and spinning you in the air. You laughed at his actions and threw your arms around his neck, one of your hands finding his hair when you buried your head into his shoulder. When Luke finally put you down, your bodies were pressed together and Luke’s hold on you didn’t loosen.

You were well aware of Luke’s hands holding you close and your own that threaded so neatly in his hair. His eyes met yours and your breath hitched. “Thank you.” you whispered, seeing Luke’s eyes flicker down briefly before locking on yours again.

“I knew you could do it.” He brought a hand up to cup your cheek. You knew that look in his eye. He leaned in, pulling your face closer as you let your eyes close and your lips hit. It took years and even dying for you to manage to kiss Luke, but it was worth it. He kissed you deeply, pouring every feeling he had into it as you did the same. When you pulled away, Luke’s hand stayed on your cheek, both of you never leaving each other’s embrace.

You furrowed your brows, biting your lip as Luke asked what was wrong. “You like me?” you asked.

Luke was confused. “Why is that a question?” He laughed and his smile never left his face.

You, however, had no clue what to say. “I just- I can’t believe-“ You stuttered, pulling your gaze away from him. “I never wanted to admit my feelings for you and you not return them.” You admitted. Luke moved your head so you were looking at him again. “I couldn’t handle that.”

“You didn’t think I like you?”

“Do you?” you laughed out, trying to hold in your insecurities.

Luke quickly caught on to how you were thinking, believing there was no way that he truly liked you. “Y/N, I’ve been in love you since we were 14 and you spilled your lunch all over me at my house.”

Your eyes went wide, heat moving up your cheeks as you closed your eyes tight, taking a moment before opening them again. “That’s when you realized you were in love with me?!” you cried out as Luke and you burst into laughs, yours out of embarrassment and his out of amusement.

You tried to hide your face, but Luke wouldn’t let you, moving your hands away from your face so he could see you again. “No, I wasn’t smart enough for that.” He said and you snorted, fully believing him. “I figured that out later, but it was when I started thinking of you as maybe more than a friend.”

You nodded your head, tangling your hands with his. “If it makes you feel any better, I’ve been in love with you about that time too.” You admitted as Luke let out a sigh of relief, leaning forward to meet your lips again, but before he could, you were interrupted.

“Woah.” Reggie said Alex and him popped into the room, standing on the other side of the piano as Luke and you subconsciously took a step apart.

“Oh, don’t stop on our account.” Alex said jokingly as he leaned forwards on the piano, making you both share embarrassed looks.

“We weren’t-“

“Yeah, we were just-“

Luke and you said at the same time, but neither of you had a real excuse. Instead, you just looked at him and shrugged.

“We’re dating.”

Alex and Reggie laughed at Luke and your perfectly timed proclamation. “Yeah, it’s about time.” Alex joked again as you rolled your eyes.

“Yeah, it only took what, 4, 5 years?” Reggie asked rhetorically as Luke forced a smile, tossing the pillows that were on the couch at them both as you laughed. They both caught the pillows, but only after it smacked them in the faces.

“Alright, alright!” Alex said loudly over everyone’s laughter. You quieted down, cheeks hurting from smiling so much. “Seriously guys, we’re happy for you both.”

“Yeah,” Reggie continued, nodding. “You guys are good for each other.” He admitted and you felt Luke’s arm swing over your shoulder and bring you into his side and kissing your temple. You giggled, wrapping your arms around Luke just in time for Julie to walk in and see.

“No way!” She shouted, glancing between you and Luke. You smiled at her, knowing she knew all about your crush on Luke for a while now. “You’re dating!” Her reaction made you laugh and you wish you were able to hug her, but since you were a ghost, it wasn’t possible. Instead, you settled for watching her being excited and feeling Luke’s chest rumble as you hugged him.

“I think Julie wins best reaction.” You whispered to Luke as he nodded, leaning down to peck your lips as Julie squealed louder.

“Okay!” You called over her, a small chuckle in your words as she quieted down but still remained giddy. “You guys have to practice!” you reminded them, seeing nods around the room as you moved away from Luke, holding his hand until you couldn’t reach him anymore and fell onto the couch.

Everyone moved to their instruments, but Luke, who still had his guitar on him from playing earlier, just watched you, seeing you and Julie exchange silent cheers before the singer was finally ready to practice. You picked up your book, beginning to read again as the band practiced. You kept sneaking glances up at Luke, who was definitely still looking at you. The music did make it difficult to focus on reading, but with your boyfriend preforming right in front of you, who would want to concentrate on reading anyway?

ALL TAGLISTS CLOSED!

Permanent: @literal-fand0m-trash @nathaliabakes @colored-confetti @btsiguess-kpop @galacticstxrdust @independentgirl @hollymac79 @emcchi @rauwz @chewymoustachio @smilexcaptainx @faith-quake @johnmurphyisqueer @kettnerjanea @teenagereadersciencenerd @ladykxxx08 @annasofiaearlobe @mytreec @ananad1 @agentnataliahofferson @the-unmanaged-mischief @wonderful-writer @theonly1outof-a-billion

[sagemoderocklee]

For the fic asks, any or all of 37, 48, and/or 50 ☺️

37. Promote one of your own “deep cut” fics (an underrated one, or one that never got as much traction as you think it deserves!). What do you like about it?

a fic I personally feel very proud of and that didn't take off much is Stolen Glances. I think this fic is actually quite good, especially considering how old it is. Most of my older works I find I'm a lot less proud of and when I do reread them I always want to edit them, but this fic not only holds up well from a technical standpoint, but is also just a fun, cute fic. I've found my niche is more canon-verse political dramas, but every so often it's nice to take a break with something light, and this is definitely that.

48. What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it? Tsuru no Danna by @ghoste-catte Highly recommend it. As usual, it's a stunning work by someone who's writing has always been stellar and who i greatly respect as a writer. an absolutely top notch piece of folk horror with absolutely beautiful pros

50. Answer any question of your choice, or talk about anything you want to talk about!

Can't think of any questions off the top of my head, so I'm gonna pick one of the questions I like from the list: 3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?

I think this question kinda answers itself if youve read more any of my work. I'm a big canon-verse writer and I heavily favor drama, politics, and worldbuilding. My preference for stories is always a big, meaty plot that you can really sink your teeth into. I like a good combination of plot-driven and character-driven stories, and I usually prefer a plot revolving around politics and culture.

Worldbuilding is definitely my specialty, and i think is another hallmark of my writing. if im not worldbuilding, im not having nearly as much fun lol worldbuilding does tend to slow me down as a writer, but it's honestly the thing that brings me the most joy in writing.

the final hallmark of my writing is definitely large word counts lmao currently the longest fic i have, Alliance, is 270K, but i suspect that once The Art of Love is done it will be over 300K (which is great news for anyone who loves that fic and likes a long story lol)

[lesbian-in-leather]

Here's a couple more for the writing ask game! : 12, 25, 32

12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules

Okay FIRST OF ALL I think it's rude that I can't wish for more wishes, we all know I love loopholes. SECOND OF ALL this was really fun to think about, so here we go:

I'd wish for the ability to perfectly retain any and all information about my WIPs until I've written it down, at which point it can be stored with regular memories. How often have you had a great idea just as you're falling asleep, or in the shower, or just busy and don't have time to write it down, but by the time you actually can, it's left your head? Not a problem anymore

I'd wish that I can always think of the word I need. Not only does it stop annoying mid-flow thesaurus checks or ages of combing the internet because I know what I mean but I can't find it - but there are other applications too! Creating a fantasy language? No need for a translation document, I can just type out whatever shit I need and it'll be right. Get wrecked genie, two for the price of one and I didn't cheat so my WIPs are safe

And finally, I'd wish that I have the motivation to write whenever I have the time, so that all of my writing sessions will actually be productive (maybe I'd link this motivation to like. A specific word or something? Idk, I don't trust this genie not to mess with me here)

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

Okay so I know what I said in the last post, and I do over-plan, but also I try to include a lot of the random details because I much prefer reading and writing character driven stories, so like, the little details are usually relevant to something. Having said that, sometimes it's just a very short throwaway kinda relevance, or it's an extension of an actual plot point that doesn't come out until later. Although I do know some random stuff like, one OC constantly fidgets with her necklace without realising, and another one always wears a hoodie and messes with the zip because she likes the sound it makes. Sorry I feel like this wasn't as interesting as it could have been lmao

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc. that you return to time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

Okay I physically cannot pick just one, but know that there are also so many more that I could have said here (including but not limited to: all of the works I mentioned in the last post that I am deliberately not allowing myself to repeat). Because I've picked so many examples and you asked a former English student for analysis, I'm going to put them all under the cut and honestly I had so much fun thinking about this and writing out the analysis that I don't even mind if no one reads it lmao

Mentions of death and suicide (in relation to the fictional characters in the texts I'm talking about)

Poems

This Be The Verse, by Philip Larkin

They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. [...] Man hands on misery to man. It deepens like a coastal shelf. Get out as early as you can, And don’t have any kids yourself.

Technically I first heard this (or, the last stanza of it, at any rate) quoted in The End by Lemony Snicket, but I also studied the full poem when I did my A-Levels, and honestly the whole thing is absolutely incredible. It's such a beautiful poem, and I do think about the entire thing all the time (I have it memorised) but specifically the first two lines and the final stanza have always been my favourite. Something about the acknowledgment of how you can still be fucked up by your parents even if they didn't mean it really, really got to me (I wonder why haha), and the final stanza has such a bleak outlook on everything but... it also really resonated with me, especially at the time I first read the full poem. And even though I don't think like that anymore, and I now have a much more neutral or even positive outlook on humanity and human nature, this poem still holds such a crucial place in my heart, and I do think about it all the time

Ozymandias, by Percy Bysshe Shelley

My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings; Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair! Nothing beside remains. Round the decay Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Another one I have memorised - what initially started as GCSE work really stuck with me lmao. Again, the full poem gets me just as much, but this passage specifically... oh my god. As someone who has a genuine Issue in my head about being remembered after I’m gone, this poem really got to me. The fact that Ozymandias spent so much time and effort into ensuring he was remembered, and he got his wish... on a technicality. The idea that I can't control how I'm remembered, only what I do, and if I spend too long focusing on my legacy, then that's all that people will know about me... yeah, this poem got me fucked up

Novel

The End, Chapter Thirteen, by Lemony Snicket

“You're the one who made us orphans in the first place,” he [Klaus] said, uttering out loud for the first time a secret all three Baudelaires had kept in their hearts for almost as long as they could remember. Olaf closed his eyes for a moment, grimacing in pain, and then stared slowly at each of the three children in turn. “Is that what you think?” he said finally. “We know it,” Sunny said. “You don't know anything,” Count Olaf said. “You three children are the same as when I first laid eyes on you. You think you can triumph in this world with nothing more than a keen mind, a pile of books, and the occasional gourmet meal.” He poured one last gulp of cordial into his poisoned mouth before throwing the seashell into the sand. “You're just like your parents,” he said, and from the shore the children heard Kit Snicket moan. “You have to help Kit,” Violet said. “The baby is arriving.” “Kit?” Count Olaf asked, and in one swift gesture he grabbed an apple from the stockpot and took a savage bite. He chewed, wincing in pain, and the Baudelaires listened as his wheezing settled and the poisonous fungus was diluted by their parents' invention. He took another bite, and another, and then, with a horrible groan, the villain rose to his feet, and the children saw that his chest was soaked with blood. “You're hurt,” Klaus said. “I've been hurt before,”

Alright I know I don't shut up about asoue but here me out, okay? Similarly to the last post (because even though I'm not letting myself repeat passages, I can still repeat themes) I read this when I was like seven or eight, and it was, once again, one of the first times grey-morality was introduced to me. But, where Witches Abroad taught me that sometimes heroes don't want to be heroes and that villains might not think they're villains, The End taught me that even if a villain knows and embraces the fact they're a villain... that doesn't mean they're evil. Now, as an adult, I actively reject the 'Good Vs Evil' dichotomy, but as a kid, basically everything you're exposed to has the heroes always be Morally Correct while the villains are Entirely Evil (hell, even most media aimed at adults struggles with the concept of villains being terrible people while still being allowed to have redeeming qualities). And then I read this passage. I mean, the whole entire scene still makes me fucking sob, but I come back to this passage in particular over and over and over again. Because Olaf was fucking dying. He's tired, and he's been stabbed, and poisoned, and he was going to let himself die right then and there. He doesn't even deny the accusation that he killed the Baudelaire parents - what would be the point, when we all know that villains lie? No one would ever believe him - but that question in response is heartbreaking. He looks at these children that he's tormented for months on end, and just asks them, simply, if that's what they think. Like he can't quite believe they'd think so little of him. As if, suddenly, he's realising how they see him, how they've always seen him. Realising that, to them, he really is just a cartoon villain. And that death would have been sad enough. That death would have still stuck in my head, and I would still probably be talking about it now, if he'd died on the very next line. But he doesn't. He hears Kit's name and launches himself at the antidote, and the kids and the reader finally realise that he's bleeding out but he doesn't care. All he cares about it Kit, saving Kit, helping Kit, and it's so jarring. He's spent thirteen books not caring about anyone but himself, leaving even his own henchpeople in the dust when it suits him, but suddenly he's not only helping someone else, but disregarding his own wellbeing to help someone that's shown to be directly opposed to him. He helps someone that we, as a first time reader, assume to be his enemy, and he's so panicked at the thought that she's in danger, and so soft when he helps her. He's still the same man he's always been - but we now know that that man isn't evil, and he never was. He's cruel, and greedy, and selfish, and he cares. He loves someone else enough to die for her. He's hurt, but it doesn't matter to him as long as Kit's safe. He's been hurt before

Fanfic

Now, most of the time with fanfic what sticks in my head is a particular scene, or theme, or even just the feeling evoked by the entire work. Having said that, there are some notable exceptions to this rule (and, again, I’m only choosing two and not letting myself repeat any of the works I talked about in the last post) so I would like to draw attention to:

This Ficlet by @beatricebidelaire

Ernest sits down next to him. “When she [Violet] frowns,” he says in a low voice. “It’s almost as if I'm looking at him.” [Bertrand] Frank doesn’t turn his head. “I thought he always smiled when he’s talking to you.” “You say that as if those are the only times I ever looked at him,” Ernest replies.

Oh,,, the love in that sentence. I can't stop thinking about it. The fact that we can tell it was reciprocated - Ernest looked at Bertrand even when he didn't notice, but whenever Bertrand looked at him he was smiling, and everyone else saw it. OH I feel so many things. This is love, you know? That's what I want, and I love how gentle this quote is. How softly it's presented. Like a fact and a confession all at once

And then there's this fic by @jeromesqualor

And then, all of a sudden, he [Jacques] feels like he’s been hit by a freight train. The laughter stops, and he feels nothing but a strange, pleasant warmth, all over. This is the moment where he realises that he doesn’t want her [Esmé] to ever leave. This is the moment where he realises he’s completely, inconceivably, very inconveniently, fucked. [...] When he’s [Jacques] no longer able to sit straight, when he slumps against the bricks and his head lolls forward to press his forehead into the bars, he distantly hears her sharp, broken intake of breath. “It’s alright, Jacques,” she [Esmé] whispers, cutting through the haze, choked with tears. “It’s alright.”

I found this (predictably) by combing through the Esmé tag, and though it was for a ship I'd never really considered before, it is absolutely one that now consumes my thoughts. These two passages specifically, though, for very different reasons. The first one is such a soft, genuine way to present love and it's beautiful. A freight train that leaves him feeling a pleasant warmth. The fact that he isn't even necessarily happy about it, but the feeling is there all the same. It wasn't a choice, but it isn't bad, either. It's just... I don't know, that's love. Uncontrollable, unpredictable, sudden and slow all at once. And then there's the second section - ohhhhhh man. Because it's so clear that she loves him back - you can see it. But she had to do it - she had to poison him. And she knew he would die and it would be her fault, and it would have been so easy to present her as someone who doesn't care, but that's not true. She did what she thought had to be done, but the second she sees the result she breaks down. It's so out of character, but in a perfectly in-character way - it's something that feels so real, so right, but also something no one would ever expect from Esmé, and I think about it literally all the time

Etc. Plays

I know that usually plays aren't read, but I studied both of these and I've (tragically) never gotten the chance to see either of them performed (though I have seen a film adaptation of Streetcar, but I still read it first) so I'm saying they count

A Streetcar Named Desire, Tennessee Williams

BLANCHE [holding tight to the DOCTOR's arm]: Whoever you are—I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.

Oh my god. Oh my god. This play, this whole entire play, is a masterpiece. But studying it in my class was much less fun than it should have been, because I was one of the only people in that room that liked Blanche, and I stand by that to this day. She is a beautifully written character. She's flawed, and selfish, and materialistic, and so, so fragile that she's already broken before the play has even begun. And it breaks my heart to see it. But this line. This line hurts. Because the Doctor she's clinging to so desperately is taking her away to an asylum. That's how her story ends. It's the last line she says before she leaves, and it's almost the end of the play. And after she's gone, almost everyone goes back to exactly how they were before she'd arrived, like she'd never even existed. And she's been hurt so many times - we learn about her past, and how she's been treated, and see how she's treated during the play. People - and especially men - are not kind to Blanche. And yet, after crying on the floor, being pinned to the ground while screaming and making "inhuman cries", she sees this man. This stranger. And, as an audience, we know what he's here to do. After this line they leave, arm-in-arm. And she's trusting him, she's relying on him to protect her. And he won't. We know he won't - but she doesn’t. She truly believes it. Over and over, she believes she'll be protected. Even after everything that she's seen, and done, and everything that's been done to her... Still, she depends on the kindness of strangers

Hedda Gabler, by Henrik Ibsen (translated by Michael Meyer)

TESMAN [runs to the doorway]: Hedda dear, please! Don't play dance music tonight! Think of Auntie Rena. And Eilert. HEDDA [puts her head through the curtains]: And Auntie Juju. And all the rest of them. From now on I'll be quiet. [She closes the curtains behind her]

This is another play I studied at A-Level (Drama, this time, instead of English), and while this isn't the last time Hedda talks, it is the last time we see her alive. And ever since I first read it, it's been bouncing around in my head. It's the understated way she disappears - and only a few lines later, she cuts herself off with a gunshot to her own head. It's the way everyone around her misunderstands her so thoroughly - her own husband thinks that mentioning the dead will get her on side, and no one thinks it odd that she brings up a woman she's repeatedly made it clear that she dislikes. As a reader or a member of the audience, you can see that she's realising there's no way out of her life - she can't divorce her husband, she might even be pregnant with his child. And she tells them that she’s going to end it - I'm sure, to her, she was making her intentions perfectly clear. "From now on I'll be quiet." It's so sad, and soft - especially when said by such an unpredictable character. And then her death is the culmination of everything she's been feeling throughout the play - the longing for beauty, because to her it is beautiful. And I think part of the reason it sticks with me so much is because I was the only one to see her that way in my class. Not everyone hated her (though a lot of them did), but no one else was sympathetic to her. I'm not saying she was a good person, but I did empathise, especially in a room of people all arguing that she deserved her fate

I apologise for the sheer amount I talked about all of those. And if you did read all of this rambling, thank you! I appreciate it, even if it might not have been particularly coherent

[ktheist]

pretty girls don’t get hurt | m

synopsis. your mom has been asking you for a grandchild - not even a son-in-law but the baby to said nonexistent son-in-law! and your dad is hitting an age where he can barely work anymore. at some point you’re going to take over his position as the chairman of the family hospital but you know nothing about medicine. that’s where kim seokjin comes in. he’ll marry you and become the chairman so you can keep your ceo position and you’ll get a child out of him too. it’s like killing two birds with one stone.

except there’s one problem: you’ve never met the man and you need him to agree to the marriage first. okay, make that two problems.

muses. heir!doctor!seokjin x heiress!ceo!reader x best friend!heir!taehyung

words. 15.6k

contents. slowburn. sexual tension. impregnation kink. daddy/older men kink. viagra is involved lmao. 

warnings. matured content.

verse. knj. myg. kth. pjm. jjk. jhs. story time.

x

“you want my what?”

seokjin’s jaw hangs loose, brows coming together in a show of frustrated bewilderment. it’s tells you enough that he heard you the first time but then again, you’re not asking him for dinner. you’re asking him for-

“your hand in marriage.” glossed lips curl upwards underneath the pristine white cup of hot coffee from the vending machine.

you watch as his widened eyes narrow. lips smack together and finally anger settles in the muscles of his hardening expression. “you’re joking.”

it’s understandable that he’d feel offended. even more so when it’s coming from a stranger who strode right into his office and introduced herself as the chairman’s daughter - the ceo. that’s probably the only reason he agreed to spare you his time - and you’re spending it for this.

it’d be a lie if you say you weren’t surprised that he didn’t know the ceo of the hospital he’s working at but judging from the way he treats you, like he has better things to do - lives to save, you know he’s that type of person. the mad scientist version of a doctor. doesn’t attend annual dinners. doesn’t take off days. he’s perfect.

“dad’s getting old and he needs someone to succeed him but i don’t know anything about medicine - i’m more of a businesswoman and the board wants someone of a clinical background to continue the tradition. if it were up to me, medical expenses would be much higher per patient but i’m also not a capitalist so i need someone on the field to tell me how things are at the hospital so we don’t overcharge nor do we undercharge.”

his eye is twitching at the end of your words and his jaw is clenched in suppression of agitation. at this point, you’re going to have to keep it short so not to drop the whole bomb on him before he himself explodes. “so how bout it? you marry me and become the next chairman and i’ll take care of all the non-clinical related matters. if you were to decline... i can’t guarantee things will remain the same after dad retires.”

“my break is over. it’s nice meeting you miss ___ but i hope we don’t run into each other again.” the chair screeches backwards when he stands up abruptly before you can even finish your sentence. he didn’t even check the time when he swipes his phone off the table and slips it right into his pocket. his words are as clear as day: this is the first and last time we meet.

“you still have ten more minutes, doctor kim.” for some reason he hasn’t stormed off - dare you say, he’s even taking what you said seriously - good. because you’re not here for a laugh either. you meet his heated gaze with ease. “i’m not sure you understand but you’re the cinderella and i’m the prince charming.”

you take out a single midnight scented card and slide it over to seokjin. “and this is a proposal, not a blackmail. call me when you’re ready to talk about the terms for the prenup.”

x

it’s been a week since you left your card with seokjin.

now, sitting in your office, the scene keeps replaying in your mind like a broken record. a scream erupts in the otherwise pleasantly silent room as you slump in your seat, hands digging into your hair as though if you rub your head hard enough, the memories would fade away. “taehyung, how did i even get that confidence? a prenup? he didn’t even say yes!”

the aforementioned man spares you a glance from the couch he’s lying on before going back to typing away on his phone. it’s probably yuju - one of his recent acquaintances. if you remember correctly, she’s the daughter of sbs’ ceo.

“boys are simple minded beings, give it another day and he’ll call you.” he casually assures, this time not even look away from his phone.

the sleek back hair and black button down underneath seokjin’s white coat flashes at the back of your mind. you don’t see that many doctors wearing something that needs ironing to work that often. sure there’s a dress code but your dad isn’t strict about it - all that mattered to him is the quality of one’s work. for all he cares, these doctors can come to work in pj’s. it’s you that had to make sure they don’t come in pj’s. collared t-shirts are acceptable. so are sneakers instead of heeled shoes. but kim seokjin was nothing less of button down, a well made tie and polished black shoes.

it shows that-

“he’s a man, not a boy.”

this time, taehyung’s fingers freeze on the screen before he turns his cheeks to you with an unfazed expression - as though he’d expected this but still got disappointed when he hears it. “so it’s his age? you wanna marry him because he’s nine years older than you?”

there’s something about the way he singles out the reason you decided it was seokjin, that makes you look away in shame. but you still force out a laugh in a last ditch attempt to brush it off but it sounds awkward in every octave. “ha ha ha ha what are you talking about? he’s the most eligible marriage prospect - that’s why.”

“there’s another one.” he points out. still unconvinced, “that suho guy - he’s also a fellow. also an only child-”

you speak over him,“-but his background is so-so. civil servant parents. went to an ordinary school. you think he’ll adapt to the pressure as quick as seokjin?” suho’s smiling picture peeks from underneath the documents you’d been reviewing before the flashback of your bold proposal comes and haunt you. it’s his resume along with every physician working at the hospital for more than eight years, that you’d obtained from your dad’s secretary. “you know whoever becomes my husband and assume the chairman position is gonna get chewed out alive by the board. it has to be him - it has to be seokjin.”

a sigh echoes from somewhere across from you as taehyung sits up, brows furrowed together as he rubs his head as if it’ll make the the problem go away. “yeah, but he left the social scene a decade ago. you think he’ll walk back in just like that?”

“his records have been nothing but remarkable. he sticks around and works overtime. he’s been one of the most consistent physicians that worked on every holidays. doesn’t take off days. basically a workaholic who loves his job way too much - he doesn’t need to enter the social scene. not when i’m his wife.” a grin spreads across your face by the end of it - all this time, you’d been reading the report about him but once you’ve actually put it in words, the chances of him saying yes seems to sound more real, “he’s gonna keep working as the chairman and ignore anything the board says. he’s perfect.”

“yeah, okay let’s say he is perfect and there’s no reason for him to say no except one,” taehyung pauses for a more dramatic effect, lips twitching upwards slyly as if he knows it’s already got you on the edge of your seat, “what if he has a girlfriend he wants to marry?”

and that’s when your world comes crashing down like waves against the rocks but you don’t like the smug look on taehyung’s face, “yeah but with his schedule, it doesn’t seem like he has one.”

“you never know - they could very well be living together. plus, it’s not like he has to report his dating life to the hospital and he seems like a private enough man to keep it on the low even from his colleagues.”

his words are barely registering but the longer the second stretches on with your thoughts running wild, the faster your heart seems to race. but one thing’s for sure. taehyung’s here because you’re supposed to be discussing the partnership.

“if you’re not gonna talk about work, then get out.” your eye visibly twitches - all of a sudden your best friend since you were in diapers’ presence serves more as a nuisance than a blessing.

“you’re mad, aren’t you?” a grin spreads across his lips before he bursts into laughter - he’s the only person that would laugh in the face of death, “man you’re full of ego - i guess you should be. i mean, if all else fails, he might just say yes because of your face, right, sparky?”

he’s using that nickname he used to call you when you were kids. your love - or as taehyung would put it, obsession for shines and sparkles in diamonds peaked at the age of ten thanks to your mom’s hobby of collecting dimes. she’d sold everything off after she got bored of them and needed space for the arts she bought - her new found hobby. but you remained true to your love for diamonds and symbol of riches and bought half of her collection.

over time, he starts using it less and less and only for reasons to get a rise out of you. where did that cute boy who called you sparky because he thought you were as pretty as the diamonds, go?

all he is now is a devil incarnate. with that height and silly grin of his, he easily antagonize you. and you always give in. 

“you’re supposed to be on my side and give me assurance!” you toss a balled up paper, aiming right in his face but instead of hitting the mark, he easily catches it.

“how’s this for assurance? you’re only gonna hurt yourself if you throw a ball like that.” he picks his blazer off the handrest and makes a beeline for the door when he senses the smoke coming out of your ears, “i’m late for my date, see you later!”

x

it’s exactly fifteen hours later that you receive a call from seokjin.

instead of meeting up at the cafeteria, he’d directed you to flower child, one of the most coveted fine dining restaurants in seoul two days after the call. it turns out he’d made a reservation - and you’re no fool to the long waiting line to get a table. he must’ve booked it some time after your first meeting.

he’s made some effort into putting on a black blazer and matching pants. hair styled to perfection. he may have cut his family off but he hasn’t completely abandoned the way he lived up till a decade ago. you allow yourself to check him out once - when he’d stood up at your arrival and pushed the chair for you.

thankfully, you’re not too underdressed. a creme blouse and grey pencil skirt suit any kind of formal setting.

“have you thought about what you want to include in the prenup?” you ask after the server leaves with your order.

seokjin seems more collected this time. or maybe it’s the incense and dimmed lighting that gives off a more suitable atmosphere to talk about marriage.

either way, you don’t expect the man to chuckle - a short, wistful one. as though he truly, honestly believes- “why would you want to marry an old man like me?”

you know what he’s asking: there’s got to be a catch. straightening your back and crossing it over your chest loosely, you decide to come clean - the full truth. “you’re only thirty-four but i won’t lie - you have a price on your head, doctor kim.”

the server comes back with a small cart and a bucket of chilled red wine. you wait until he pours a third of both glasses and goes away. but seokjin doesn’t appear all that eager for your elaboration - it’s almost as though he’s already known. or at least expected that much.

“your mother is willing to pay anyone who marries you a whooping ten million if the lucky bride brings you back to your family.” you watch as he studies the density of the wine, twirling the glass gently with a sort of tilt on his lips like a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes, “but i won’t make you reconcile with your family. i’ve told you my intentions - i need someone who knows the ins and outs of the hospital since don’t have any clinical background and it’d be easier if we were husband and wife.”

it’s in that moment that seokjin tears his eyes off the wine and captures your gaze. in the absence of the sunlight, those brown eyes appear more black, reflecting the dancing fire on the incense. you feel naked and bare as he wedges his fingers in and tear open the windows to your soul. “don’t you have someone you want to marry, miss___? someone you love?”

taehyung’s silly grin flashes at the back of your mind like a solar flare you can’t erase - all you can do is wait until dies out on its own. you don’t realize your unfocused gaze is directed to seokjin in the split second you wait for your thoughts to gather itself. redirecting your gaze to the wayward reflection in your own glass, you let out a breathy chuckle. “yeah, well.”

it’s pathetic and embarrassing but you can’t even conjure up proper words. instead, you bring the wine to your lips, preferring to taste the bittersweetness of the wine than that of your own reality.

x

all you talk about for the rest of the night is matters pertaining the marriage. what he’ll have to endure and what he won’t have to endure. he doesn’t need to attend any of the social functions even if you’re married. doesn’t also need to concern himself with matters about his family - it becomes tricky when his family catches news of their only son’s marriage and want to be there for the ceremonious day.

“i don’t know what’s going on with you and your family but they won’t be invited if you don’t want them to be.” you fix him with one of your smiles. a tilt in the corner of your lips and a languid flutter of your eyelids before meeting his gaze. it always works - takes away the essence of the conversation and makes them focus on you so if he wants to throw your words back at you, there’s a leeway you could escape to.

until you couldn’t.

“it’s fine. i’ve been running away for the last few years - it’s time i face them head on.” he looks up from the steak he’s cutting - you still haven’t recover from the time he’d look at you in the eye and effortlessly tore your defenses like it was paper but there he does it again, splaying out your scheme like a dish best served hot, “besides, they won’t be invited but you can’t- no, you won’t stop them from showing up, right?”

it’s true. his family isn’t just any normal family. his father is a ceo of one of the most prominent cell phone companies in the world after all. you’d be invincible if you’re in good terms with your in-laws. or at least, if they think you’re on their side and want to help them get their son back.

but seeing as nothing gets past seokjin, you’re only left to either evade the question or full out deny it to keep your pride intact. either way, both options will only serve to confirm his suspicion - he may already know what you’re up to but verbalizing it is a different kind of pride-crushing. your lips curl into a smile - an irony of having been cornered in every direction from the man you thought you could wrap around your fingers.

but because your pride wouldn’t allow you to look like a fool and your ethics wouldn’t allow you to tell a flat out lie (half truths are alright), you decide the first option is much better. “there’s one more thing - i want to get pregnant within the first year of our marriage.”

or else, you’re going to end up like your parents - their bones weren’t as strong as they used to be by the time they got you and their souls were withered from the works they’d put on in their better years of their lives. your mother’s life was risked by the late pregnancy. still, they tried to love you better but there were things you couldn’t do with parents who were hitting 50 before you even reached high school. you couldn’t go camping or bike riding or fishing like your grandfather brought your father to.

it seems to have caught seokjin off guard when he stares at you with wide eyes a tad longer before dropping his head and chuckling to himself, “my, i don’t know if i still have it in me.”

and that’s how you know he’s messing with you - perhaps it’s his own way of reminding you that he’s too old for you and if he’s lucky, it’ll scare you away from the idea of marriage altogether. but the fact that he’s trying to make you give up means that he’s agreeing to the marriage. you let your lips curve into a smile, adrenaline rushing through your veins and into your very core.

you absolutely can’t wait to get married.

x

the marriage will be held within five months - it’s the earliest you can get. it’d be suspicious if you just suddenly got married without any scandal or news of dating the estranged only child of the kim family. you’ve already hired a reporter to follow you during your first three ‘dates’ - they may very well be the only dates you go on together judging from your packed schedule. it’s been almost a week since that dinner and you’ve made plans to appear in public together - your first date.

rapping your knuckles on the door, you wait for the light on the handle to turn from red to green - a signal that the owner’s allowed you access. “hey, you ready?” is the first thing you say, even though you know he’s not.

“miss ___, i’m sorry i was working and didn’t realize the time.” he seems to be genuinely apologetic - and there’s an x-ray film and some papers strewn over his desk to verify his claim. “i’ll freshen up and -”

his brows lift in surprise when you lower yourself on his lap just as he pushes the chair backwards to stand up. the usually gelled light brown hair falls over his face in a messy middle part and his button down is less crisped than when you saw him the first time. granted your first meeting with him was at noon - it’s not enough time for the demands of his career to dishevel him. it’s evening now.

his jaw slacks just the slightest bit, resulting for his lips to part - you’ve noticed their plump fullness and it’d be a lie if you said you didn’t wonder about how they’d feel on yours. the taupe acrylic on your thumb digs into the soft pink flesh of his lips before it travels to his chin.

“may i?” two words. and that’s all it takes for something lustrous to take over his eyes. you find yourself smirking when he stares quizzically as your hand leaves his face and brings his own between your lips. his fingerpads are callous from years of surgical training but they don’t tremble under the touch of your tongue. his digits are lengthier than you expect them to be. his middle finger hit the back of your throat easily before you can get them all in but he’s not the only one that’s received training.

you switch to his ring finger, tongue gently curling around it before you drag your teeth over the ridges of its joint. as a finishing touch, you make sure to lick the bottom of your lips all the while holding his gaze. then, you allow the smile to grace your lips as though nothing happened but the way you pretend to struggle to get up, causing your ass to rub against his arousal - defeats that false sense of innocence.

either way, his surprised expression turns to an amused one as he chuckles a low chuckle - an admittance of your victory, “my, i just lost, didn’t it?”

“whatever do you mean?” you blink, lashes fluttering with feigned innocence.

x

articles are starting to pop up after your personal reporter uploaded hers. it’s not enough to shake the world but it’s enough to catch the eyes of secretaries which in turn tell their bosses and as a result, your phone’s been blowing up and your own secretary has been taking calls since this morning.

“___, you’re leaving already?” taeyeon cups the mouthpiece of the phone she’s been on for the last five minutes, alarms going off in her eyes at the thought of your absence. you don’t blame her - from the way the conversation seems to be going, she might just drag the whole telephone all the way to your desk and make you answer them.

business proposals must be pouring in. you feel bad for your secretary but to be frank, the instant ringing as soon as she held up the last call - has been bothering you to no end as well.

you grin sheepishly, “i got a meeting with dad.” it’s just a coincidence that your dad called you to his office today - he usually does every once in a while just to ask how you’re doing and lament about having to handle your mother’s random burst of hobbies she’s getting into ever since you moved out.

looks like nobody’s noticed the ‘rumor’ yet from the way the workers in the administration department bows and greets you on your way to the office. granted, these people are too devoted to their work to pay attention to the latest business scandals but you expected at least one person to be blowing up the group chat with pictures of you and seokjin’s first date.

there’s a familiar figure leaning against your dad’s desk but no trace of the elder man - he must have went to the washroom or something. you thought it odd when taehyung’s eyes fall on you without the usual grin he would usually offer whenever he sees you - like reflex. at first, you assume his own date with yuju probably didn’t go very well.

“hey, loser. this is the first time you’re here earlier than me.” you fix the man your own grin, happy to be able to see not one but two of your favorite persons. taehyung’s been coming over to play at your house since forever. it was normal for your dad to invite him to his office and take you two to lunch now that you two have grown up.

...until you notice your dad on the couch and another person sitting adjacent to him. it’s easy to miss people when they’re sitting down and easier to have your eyes focus on taehyung’s tall frame.

the tension almost crushes your lungs as soon as you walk through the door. it becomes apparent all too soon that taehyung tried to warn you with his eyes to not be your usual idiot self. now, you’re paying the price for it as all eyes fall on you.

the third person in the room turns his cheek towards you - seokjin. he offers a too polite smile as you come to a stop next to the couch he’s one.

“daddy?” all of a sudden, you’re a child in a room full of adults and calling your out to your dad, as if it would somehow make him explain this situation you just walked in.

the elder man releases a long drawn sigh before speaking, “i’d like a word with my daughter and doctor kim, if you don’t mind, taehyung.”

“sure, uncle.” the aforementioned man offers one of his gallant smiles, pushing himself off the desk without taking out his hands from his pockets.

you grab onto taehyung’s arm as he’s about to pass you - pleading with your eyes for him not to leave you, a mere ant, with the elephants in the room. that’s when his serious facade falls through and he���s grinning at you like a brother would to his sister when he knows she’s going to get in trouble with their parents. your temple throbs with a burst of rage but before you can say anything, he’s already out of the door.

the sweetness of the tea mrs. nam served is tasteless compared to the tangible tension in the air. it’s become apparent that while the more tech savvy staff remain clueless of your updated dating status, your father, is not.

be it as it may, guess you should give credit where it’s due - seokjin’s expression is free of any tautness. it’s perfectly neutral - it’s frightening. you know for a fact you’re not saved from a hard line on your glossed lips and a crease between your brows.

“i heard from my wife that you two are dating.” the elderly man finally breaks the silence.

he’s addressing your mom like that so to make it known that he’s talking to seokjin too - and you’re not the only one in hot water. but seeing as it’s your idea and your proposal, it’s also your responsibility to respond-

“that’s correct, sir.”

-but seokjin beats you to it. it’s not just his expression but his tone is completely at ease. almost as though he’s faced tense situations like this one too many times.

you breathe out before speaking, “i was going to introduce doctor kim to you and mom once we bought our engagement rings.”

your dad finally looks up, eyes wide and mouth slacked for the briefest second before his eyes flutter close. now’s about time for him to be rubbing his temples from the headache but instead, he lets out a sigh. for a split second, you see your dad for the age he is - not the age you remember him as in your earliest memories. wrinkles and smile lines and graying hair.

the seconds stretch on as do the silence. you can hear the distant ringing of the telephone all the way from mrs. nam’s desk from outside, almost clearly.

once your word settles in, then comes the million dollar question, “do you two love each other?”

it’s a no brainer. anyone with eyes can see and answer that for you - or perhaps taehyung already told your dad since he must have gone through a similar interrogation session. and yet, it’s only natural to want confirmation from your own daughter instead of her best friend even though he knows everything about her.

this can only go two ways: yes or no.

but you’ve never been fond of flat out lying, especially to the man who taught you such principles and you’ve talked about marrying for convenience with them ever since you realized that ambitions tend to reward but cheap sentiments like love does not.

yet your chest feels heavy having to go against your parents’ wishes and hopes for you - they want what any parent want for their child. happiness. “no, we don’t.”

“but no one enters into a marriage with divorce in mind. i don’t plan on just being a husband to your daughter just on paper. i’ll care for miss ___ and treat her the way like a queen. that much, i promise, sir.” seokjin holds your dad’s gaze - it’s haunting and charming, you would know. you’d been on the receiving end once too many times already. and you know that’s how he gets your dad.

the older man nods, shoulder line relaxing almost as though he’s been lifted off a dead weight. he’s not the only one - you don’t realize you’ve been holding your breath until you feel your own muscles loosening and you’re breathing out in relief.

until his head snaps up to point out one thing, “you’re getting married yet you’re not on first name basis?”

x

“sorry to rope you into family drama, i’ll be more prepared next time so you won’t have to leave your work.” is the first thing you say once you’re in the elevator. your dad has made sure to grill you to half-death with his questions. he’s gonna give the immigration a run for their money. the first name basis matter is just the beginning of a series of dread -

‘what’s my daughter’s favorite color?’

‘dad, do you even know my-”

‘shh. do you know my daughter still wets the bed at the age ten?’

‘dad!’

seokjin had taken your dad on in stride. he chuckled when your dad said something ridiculous, borderline false and he listened on when your dad went on about the sob story of a ‘poor father with an undefeatable daughter’. but the way he did it was so effortless - almost as if he was a boyfriend visiting your parents and getting told all the embarrassing stories of your childhood and would tease you about it but at the end of the day, tells you he thinks the kid-you was cute - bed wetter or not.

there’s something that restricts your airway at the thought of sharing a feeling so strong with someone. in no time, you push the intimate image away. you and seokjin aren’t like that - this is marriage is strictly convenience-based.

“i asked a friend of mine to cover for me.” so he knew it’d be long but he didn’t actually said it was okay either. marriage is a tricky subject especially for someone as work-crazed as seokjin. you’re surprised he hasn’t cursed you out for making him miss work. “is it red?”

“what?” you blink, steps halting as you stare up at him with what starts to be mindless curiosity but ends up with a stretched on pause as you study the man’s visage. the plumpness of his lips is a given- it’s the first thing you noticed about him.

“your favorite color.” the corners of his lips lifts upwards before he includes his assertion, “you’re always wearing something red - your lipstick was red when we went for dinner. you have a red blouse on now.”

 even you didn’t know you have so much red. but it’s true - your functions and meetings wardrobe consists of red and black predominantly besides the more neutral pastel colors. you have a higher success rate of getting sponsors when you wear the tight fitted red dress.

but it’s not a preferred shade per se.

“no,” you chuckle, “my favorite color is yellow, like the banana.”

seokjin’s brows rises at that. he probably didn’t expect that - nobody expects the fierce and confident woman to like such a bright, clarifying color. “though i understand why you think it’s red.”

his lips curl into a smile - the kind of smile that mimics your own, not the one that he wears to charm your father. though that one was also genuine, this one makes him feel younger. like someone you can crack silly jokes with instead of the ever uptight working man.

before he manages to say anything, your name reverberates across the lobby. taehyung’s shrugged off that ugly grey checkered blazer of his and left it at the sofa as he mini run towards you. the grin on his face gradually falls off when he notices the lack of smile on your face.

“you left me for dead!��

he blocks your fist with a hand around your wrist before sighing as if you’re not just directing every ounce of energy in that punch of yours - but then again, none of your smacks really get to him.

“i didn’t know uncle was gonna ask me about that - i thought it was gonna be the usual lunch. i mean, come on, i waited for you down here even though i have work to do so i can make sure all your limbs are intact!” he looks like he almost meant it. almost.

it’s in that moment that seokjin’s remark reminds you that he’s still there, “you two must be close.”

“huh?” taehyung narrows his eye at you as though you’re no more than gum under his shoes while you whip your hand out of his grasp and scoff.

“nah, i’m her only friend.”

“it’s because he doesn’t have any other friend.”

you both say at the same time.

at least seokjin’s still able to laugh with all the intention-to-kill in the air. before you can elaborate on how taehyung kept following you around like a lost puppy when you were younger, seokjin’s hand finds its way around your shoulder, you thought it odd that he needs to pat on the shoulder farthest from him but it turns out he’s pulling you towards him but by the time you realize it, you’re already craning your neck to look at him. but you barely notice the awkward position of his lips on the spot just above your left eyebrow - his lips really are soft. and warm.

and gone.

before you know it, he’s pulling away, saying something about seeing you later - you couldn’t hear it from the blood rushing in your ears and the heat rising on your face. it’s only after you see his white coat disappear around the corner do you finally take notice of the slyly grinning fox in front of you.

“what did i tell you? simple-minded beings.”

x

you still don’t know why seokjin kissed you on the forehead.

sure, he told your dad he’s not planning to just be a husband on paper - okay. but he’s nowhere near a husband to you yet and you haven’t even given him an engagement ring. it doesn’t help that your heart keeps racing every time time the image of his sharp jaw and pursed lips before he kissed you, plays at the back of your mind.

he smelled good too - like aftershave and lemon and a hint of disinfectants.

before you know it, you find yourself rapping on his door eight minutes past 7 in the evening. after a whole solid minute of the red light on the door handle remaining the same color, you finally let out the breath you’ve been holding. it’s supposed to be past his shift but judging from the lack of response from the other side of the room, you know straight away that he’s still at the wards. it may have been an impromptus decision but now that you’ve walked the distance from your office to the other end of the building, you might as well go the extra mile and actually look for him. 

most of the nurses and doctors that pass you recognize you, bowing briefly before hurrying to where they were heading before they saw you. you rarely visit the cardiology department - or any other department for that matter because it’s always a hassle for the staff to prepare to greet you. in that aspect, you agree with seokjin - that they could be doing something better than pushing their schedules on their colleague to accompany a sightseeing vip.

“miss ___?” a young man around your age calls, his brows furrow at the idea that his eyes could be fooling him but when you turn to him, his eyes light up in pleasant surprise, “it really is you. why - i didn’t know you were visiting today.” 

“doctor kim,” you don’t forget a face easily - right before you is kim suho. the smile that stretches when you recognize him is telling enough. his past achievements are definitely to brag about and he must have attended the annual dinner if he recognizes you, “good evening. this isn’t an official visit - actually, i’m looking for someone. do you happen to know where doctor kim seokjin is?”

“seokjin?” he repeats the name with a sort of familiarity, coupled with confusion. of course, he’s probably wondering what the work-crazed doctor did to have the ceo come all the way to the wards.

“miss ___?” it’s feels almost deja vu - having your names called out by two different people within the span of five minutes. both sounding equally confused but for different reasons.

“good evening,” you fix seokjin one of your alluring smiles, heart skipping a beat - it’s probably the stethoscope hanging over his shoulder. it compliments the collared button down and white coat, look you usually see him in, “i went to you office but you weren’t there so i came here.”

“let’s talk in my office.” he clears his throat, eyes drifting to look to somewhere on his left before he stops himself. if it’s the whispering nurses at the counter he’s worried about - he shouldn’t be. because you’re about to put a ring on it.

x

“sorry, i was doing my last rounds but the patient was a chatty one - i lost track of time.” he says, walking into the office and setting the stethoscope down on his desk before he takes a seat behind it.

you notice the way his eyes travel from your perfectly pinned up hair down to your diamonds adorned neck down to the halter strap of your elegant maroon dress that wraps around your body flawlessly. but he doesn’t say a word - and you’re forced to school your expression to not show your surprise and hurt when he doesn’t even let his gaze linger for any longer than necessary as he meets your eyes again.

you take out the suede velvet box from your purse and place it right in front of him. “it just came in, why don’t you try putting it on?”

his eyes twinkle with a surprise not because of the foretelling shape and characteristics of the box, nor the affirmation of the silver band inside it but because it sits snugly around his ring finger when he slips it on.

“how did you get my size right?” the impressed tone laced in his voice makes your chest swell with pride and lips curl into a smirk.

it only takes him a few seconds to interpret your smirk - that time in his office. the ghost of his digit on your tongue still lingers. it wasn’t just for show and you weren’t cruel enough to put a man through that misery if you didn’t have your own reasons.

he shakes his head, ring bluntly glinting as suppresses his chuckle with his hand.

your heart is beating too loudly in your chest - there’s something in the way he’s bearing your claim but you still manage to sound leveled and collected. “since we’re officially engaged, do you mind if i call you seokjin?”

“i’d like that very much, ___.” he’s finally dropped the suffix. ms. this, ms. that. you’ve gotten used to it but it serves to enforce the invisible line between you and him when he addresses you so formally.

your phone buzzes in your purse - it must be taehyung. you didn’t expect to spend longer than ten minutes but he must be waiting at the lobby if he’s texting you now. standing up, you bid him a parting “have a nice evening, seokjin.”

he doesn’t seem like he has anything on his mind but just as your hand covers the handle of the door, he speaks up, “once we’re married, could you refrain from going to these functions?”

it takes you off guard. like a spear that pierces you just as you lay down your armor but you’re not one to let something like this get to you, “i’m afraid that’s not possible.” and that’s it. it’s final.

but you should have known when you decide to use that practiced icy tone, that seokjin wouldn’t just back off the way almost everyone would. the only people who would still have the gal to say something or dismiss it are your parents and taehyung.

“i know you expect me to be an obedient husband and become chairman and do my job. it shouldn’t matter if you attend these functions since you’re not forcing me to go with you.” and there’s those eyes again. tearing into the soul of your window and stripping you bare the way only kim seokjin could. “but marriage is about compromise - giving up one thing for the other. i’m gonna inherit my dad’s fortunes and you’re gonna get that 10 million my mom promised. shouldn’t that be enough to get the projects for the hospital rolling?"

when he says it like that, it seems so easy and simple. “no wonder you’re a doctor. you don’t know a thing about maintaining a sustainable business.” you let your lips curl briefly, “but i’ll think about what you said.”

then, you’re out of his office. heels clicking against the floor as you make your way to the lobby and into taehyung’s familiar sleek black burgatti.

x

“so he asked you to stop coming to these functions.” the car rolls to a stop right in front of the hall where the birthday party of seollyu’s president is held.

“in essence, yeah.” you say after he comes around the car and your hand automatically tucks itself in the crook of his arm.

“then why are you mad?” the car purrs behind you before the valet takes it somewhere to park it.

some of the reporters at the entrance calls your and taehyung’s names in an attempt to make you look at the camera. there’s too many and the lights are blinding - you just want to get into the hall quickly. at least they won’t be able to follow you past the doors.

“i just - i don’t like that he’s asking me to change, you know? just because i’m married, i won’t get to do the things i usually do before? that’s just bullshit.” you huff in frustration - not bothering to hide your stiff eyebrows and slightly pursed lips all the while you have your pictures taken. at best, they’re going to slander you with jealousy over taehyung’s new budding romance.

“i mean, he did cut his family off and stopped going to these things.” the man shrugs, “maybe he has a good reason - did you even ask him why?”

and that’s how you know you’ve lost the fight. taehyung’s too sensible - naturally, he wouldn’t have his own startup at such a young age, if he isn’t the way he is now. but you don’t want an analyst - you want a friend who would listen to you and let you vent your frustrations before finding the root of the problem and suggesting the solution.

taehyung knows this and he knows plenty of many things, having been your childhood and best friend all in one package. but because he knows you too well, he also knows you’ll end up doing something you would regret if he were too late to point out your mistake. sometimes you want to prove him wrong - that you can call the right shots when it comes to people without having him paint a picture for you to foresee the outcome but so far, there’s limited exhibits of your success. your failed past relationships being the prime examples.

“i hate it when you’re right.” you grumble, letting your hand fall to your side - usually you wouldn’t mind having to cling onto taehyung like a child. you’re all the other has in these functions - everyone has their own reason for attending and just like absolutely everyone, you approach people because of what they can give you. that’s why you see groups of people your age flocking together - they grew up trained to sniff those with ill intentions and those with a mutual interest.

and usually, they’ve known each other at a very young age - the way you knew taehyung for as long as you can remember.

you have other friends too - or rather, they’re people you single out to be of no threat to your business and could even become partners someday. like sowon - her bright amber dress making it seem as though a ball of fire is flitting across the hall. you’re about to wave at her before you notice a more furious fire burns in her eyes.

“you bitch!”

all of a sudden, your neck is craned in an awkward angle. the blaze on your cheek settles a little later than the realization that sowon just smacked you right across the face yet when you turn back to her, hands clenching and unclenching in suppression of rising anger - she’s the one with tears in her eyes. “i trusted you.”

oh boy.

the host hasn’t even made his speech and the crowd’s already excited. the widespread whispers don’t go past you - some of the people in your periphery doesn’t even bother hiding leaning into the person next to them while stealing glances your way. but you doubt the woman in front of you would notice anyone here but you.

“ladies, there’s plenty of me to go around.” taehyung speaks from next to you, his smooth baritone echoing off and reaching anyone within five feet. you know he’s doing this to cover for any other possible misunderstanding - after all, this isn’t the first time you’re trapped in a scandal between taehyung and one of his girlfriends.

sowon loathes taehyung though.

but it doesn’t matter as long as everyone thinks it’s just another day of you getting in between the budding romance of taehyung and his female acquaintance. you can already see the expressions of the guests falling - probably disappointed at the not-so-news news. but there are also those who snicker underneath their breath - probably one of taehyung’s past acquaintances. it’s no secret taehyung would choose you over them in a heartbeat - and it’s been established when taehyung appears at a function with another woman once and appear to the next five with you until a new poor soul takes that woman’s place.

what can you say? your best friend’s a charmer. but the downside is, you don’t have that many female friends at functions. and one of the few you do have, you’ve managed to piss off.

sowon’s sniffle tears your attention away from the crowd. flushed cheeks and puffed eyes. you’re not close but you’re acquainted enough to know she’s a woman of pride and confidence. she wouldn’t lose her cool over a man - well, at least not a licentious man like taehyung. and that’s the only reason keeping you from bitch slapping the pride off her. the sting on your cheek is nothing compared to the injury your pride sustains - all because what’s left of your conscience wouldn’t allow you to return the slap.

deep down, you know you deserved it and more. your insides churn painfully. all of a sudden the dress around your body is two sizes too small. it’s suffocating - the whole room is suffocating.

“after everything i told you - you had to go for him?!” her scream could almost burst your eardrums if it isn’t for the blood rushing in your ears.

it’s easy to think she’s referring to taehyung. somewhere from across the room, the crowd starts clearing out a path - looks like the host has caught wind of the commotion sowon has caused.

you want to curse her too. hurt her with words as much as she hurt you with her physical assault. but instead you find yourself dropping your gaze.

“i’m sorry, sowon.” is all you say before mr. jung and his army of secretaries approach you and bring you two to different rooms. by the time dinner starts, sowon isn’t around - it’s understandable, her pride wouldn’t allow her to let these people poke fun at her.

but you don’t survive this world you’re born in by running away - you survive it by developing skin as untouchable as scales. so you stay until desert, smiling with a sore cheek and conversing with those who you know would be neutral about the incident, like nothing happened.

taehyung sticks closer to you. he doesn’t ask if you’re okay - you’re not. but when you tug on his sleeve and timidly murmur you wish to go home, he does so without hesitation. it’s times like these you’d choose him over the world.

x

the tabloids love gossip. a sensational, popcorn-worthy scoop. there are two divided groups thanks to that. the first one is devoted to the belief that it’s a love triangle between you, taehyung and sowon. the other one, choosing to dig deeper than what’s on the surface, believes it goes way back. ten years back.

“sorry, i should have told you sowon was my ex-fiance - it didn’t occur to me until i saw the articles that you two might meet at a function.” seokjin finally says, the strawberry ice cream beginning to melt in its paper bowl when he asked you to ‘at least, let me cure your injury,’ - you didn’t, in a - make that ten - million years picture it to be in a form of an ice cream bowl he bought from the mini convenience store next to the cafeteria. it was to hold it on your cheek but you couldn’t just let good food go to waste.

it hurts to even smile but you can’t help it at the thought of the rumored half-mad doctor using his break for something besides working some more. coupled with a shake of your head and the plastic spoon trapped in between your lips, you look just as insane. 

your heart still clenches at the recollection of the other night, “i knew you two were engaged.”

his shoulder line straightens just the slightest bit as he lifts one eyebrow, not completely surprised but neither is he unfazed. so you continue, “it was by pure dumb luck that you turn out to be the best marriage prospect for me but i thought she was over it since it’s been years.”

there it is again, the churning in your stomach. like something’s eating you from the inside. if you focus enough, you can hear the voice inside your head scoffing - even if they’d just broken up yesterday, you still would have proposed to seokjin, maybe even the day after said break up. 

this time, you don’t look away when his eyes meet yours. you let him strip your armor down to your very core. show him just what kind of person you are - the person who wouldn’t let anything get in the way of her ambitions. wouldn’t dwell cheap sentiments like friendship. even if that made you - as sowon would put it - a bitch.

then, he lets out a heavy sigh - the kind of sigh a parent would do when their kid got in trouble and admitted their fault. so now he can’t lecture you on morals and ethics because you have your own principles.

if anything, it reminds you of the glaring difference in your age - the things he’s already experienced that you’re about to someday. the betrayals. the broken friendships. the choices between what you want and what you need. he’s probably seen this all before.

“is an old man like me really worth all that trouble?” the tiniest of smile graces his strong feature. eyebrows wavering with something you can’t pinpoint.

“well, there’s a doctor - kim suho.” this time, you don’t bother pointing out his not-even-that-old age. the way his eye twitches barely noticeably tells you he doesn’t expect your answer. a moment later, it becomes too apparent, from his troubled expression - brows stiffed and jaws tight, that he doesn’t like the idea of you asking for another man’s hand in marriage. you have to tell yourself to refrain from smiling, not because your cheek might hurt again but because it’s probably not a good time to tease him.

deciding to release him from his own misery, you quickly elaborate, “but he has an average background - no matter how much experience he has, you don’t just get on your knees and start slithering with the snakes. you have to be born into the family. so yes,” you place your ice cream on the coffee table, hand pushing back a strand of hair to appear more delicate and win his favor while you let a furtive smile adorn your face - and there’s a smile he’s suppressing too because he knows what you’re trying to do, “this old man is definitely worth it.”

his shoulder line seems to ease up as he tries to hide a relieved sigh by clearing his throat. but it’s short lived when the crease between his brows returns and a newfound tension settles in space on the couch separating the two of you, “yes, but suho was never the one i should be on a look out for, was he?”

you blink but he’s already shaking his head. a smile on his face, “never mind.”

x

things seem to settle down - everyone at the hospital knows about you and seokjin now. and you’ve managed to convince him to finally use his off days to spend it on preparing for the wedding. cake tasting. dress and suit fitting. deciding on what color the napkins should be - a month ago, you approached seokjin with the mindset to make him agree to marry you. after all, prince charming was the one who had it all - it didn’t make sense to have cinderella do all the wedding planning.

he was mad at you for some reason - it lasted for quite awhile until you directly asked why he’d been given you the cold shoulders. “you keep playing a two man game by yourself.” he sighed when he said those words - because he saw in your eyes, that you thought there was nothing wrong to be finishing what you started by yourself, “we’re getting married - we’re gonna become a team yet you keep making decisions by yourself.”

ever since then, you started asking if he wanted to join you to the cake and dessert tasting, napkin color picking. you didn’t realize how nice it was to do things with another person than decide it on your own.

and somewhere along the way, you started teasing him more.

“if the saying ‘men age like fine wine’ is a person,” a grin slips over your face as you shamelessly give seokjin is a once over, “then you’d be the embodiment of that.”

he doesn’t seem to mind - rather, he seems like he’s enjoying the attention as he chuckles and shakes his head. probably thinking there’s no saving you and your compliments now.

“come here.” it’s the way he says it - with a smile on his lips and eyes that says you’re all he sees and hand extended to capture yours, that makes you jump from your seat. the front of the dress bunched up in your hands as to not trip over it and right into his arms. just like moth drawn to flames.

he pulls you up over the platform that he’s been standing on and lets you stand in front of him, hand on your shoulder as you stare in front of the 3 part mirror in the boutique. the dress you have on is a light gold dress with a sweetheart neckline that wraps around your curves flawlessly down to your knees and flow out like a mermaid’s tail. seokjin has on a traditional cobalt blue single breasted suit with three buttons fitting around his waist perfectly. his hair is gelled back the way you specifically requested.

he gave you a quizzical look as though wanting you to elaborate on your reason for that request but you’d only left him with a kiss on the cheek and a ‘see you on monday.’

if there’s one thing you learned about seokjin, it’s that he’s devastatingly unaware of his strong features that makes every woman’s legs turn to jelly and every man’s heart skip a beat. and he chooses to hide it under that usual middle parted style.

seokjin’s reflection bends down but his eyes remains on you as he whispers against the shell of your ears, “you look exquisite.”

you have half the mind to push him off and run away in case he’d ear the erratic beating in your chest but he probably already knows from the way you shyly look away. the you from a year ago would laugh at what you’ve become - the kind of girl that gets flustered and can’t form a proper sentence in the presence of a male. but before you can respond, a boisterous voice from the sofa you were sitting at, announces, “alright, next!”

your teeth clench together as you whirl around to face taehyung’s silly grin. that cockblocker - he knew you were having a moment and went out of his way to ruin it. “what are you even here for? don’t you have something better to do?”

for once, taehyung isn’t on his phone. you wouldn’t mind it so much if he’d just ignore you half of the time whenever you hang out. “your mom tasked me to find you a perfect dress since she can’t be here.” there’s a glint in his eyes - something ratchet and devious but his lips curve like that of an angel.

you don’t miss seokjin’s tightened jaw and stiff shoulder line as he helps you down the platform. ever since taehyung showed up ten minutes into fitting, seokjin’s expression has been switching from that suave smile to looking like he has a splinter stuck in his thumb - a human sized splinter that goes by the name of kim taehyung.

you never thought you’d live to see the day when kim seokjin would harbor any sort of animosity towards someone - he’s probably a strict supervisor, but resentful? can’t be.

you chalk it up with the plain fact that anyone who’s not head over heels for taehyung would want to skin him alive on the early stages of getting to know him.

“hm? seokjin’s not here yet?” you ask once you’re back from the fitting room, having slipped into an ivory trumpet shaped dress. it’s a much simpler design compared to the one you had on which makes it a perfect counter part for the after party. “that’s a first, the lady finishing first than the guy.”

“oh, it’s not that unusual.” taehyung snickers. guess that just shows how confident he is with his skills.

“i’ve never been this tired and i’ve only tried on three dresses.” instead of entertaining his remark, you choose plop down next to him.

“sparky, does he love you?” it’s that nickname that gets you.

there are only two circumstances where he would call you that: one, when he wants to annoy you and two, when he’s feeling nostalgic. guess it’s finally hitting him that you’re no longer kids chasing each other around in one of his mansions. you’re both grown up and one is trying out wedding gowns.

“uh, me and seokjin are about to get married, taetae.” you throw in a nickname of your own just to lighten up the mood.

but all it does is lift the corners of his lips into a wistful smile. and that’s how you know you can’t be telling your half-truths. and evading his question isn’t working all that well either. “it feels like we can talk about things more openly now - but no, i don’t think he does. he’s marrying me to become the next chairman and i’m after his money and maybe get a kid out of him too.” a knot forms in your stomach - something about what you said doesn’t sit well with you but this is what you wanted. this is what you prepared for the moment you decided to ask seokjin for his hand in marriage. you shouldn’t hope for more.

the laugh taehyung lets out is reactionary. humorless. “can’t you wait for me? i know i’m in no position to ask - but can’t you?”

two years and three months ago, when you were a little youthful, had a little more stars in your eyes - maybe you would’ve said yes in a heartbeat. with every birthday you celebrate, fear rears its ugly head and reminds you that time isn’t an illusion and you know better than to bet on something - someone you're not sure you can win.

your heart aches a similar way it did two years ago - but you know now it’s not because it’s breaking to pieces. instead it’s hurting for the pieces of that young boy you could never hope to complete using yours. it took awhile but you know how to get back on your feet - but it’s not all that simple for taehyung. only he can fix his broken pieces.

“i stopped, taehyung,” you finally say, gaze burning holes inside the lace material of the dress, “the moment you told me you can’t - i stopped loving you. i’m glad i did because it wasn’t love. i was just scared to lose you like you’re afraid to lose me now,” you tug on his hand to get him to look at you and he does - all of a sudden, you’re both eight, inside your own bedroom with your dolls and his remote control cars strewn across the floor, “but you’ll always be my taetae and i’ll always be your sparky - i’m always gonna be here for you.”

you thought he’d changed. it’s nice to know he still uses a fruit scented shower gel when he brings you into a hug. the piercing sweet scent isn’t as strong as you remember it. the hug lasts a bit longer and his body is trembling slightly but you know it’s going to be okay - even if he packs up and leave for a foreign city like two years ago when you told him you loved him and you had to hunt him down through your wits and will (that damned private investigator accumulated a fortune to last him for probably ten years). at the end of the day, you’ll come back to each other. because the bond you’ve formed is thicker than the blood coursing through your veins.

“if he makes you cry, you come to me, okay?” you can’t even be mad when he ruffles your hair before picking up his blazer and shrugging it on. by the end of it, you’re both smiling - though his remains wistful, yours is sanguine.

it’s only after taehyung’s figure disappears through the door, do you notice the feeling of a pair of eyes burning holes inside your head.

“seokjin.”

the man is leaning against the door where his changing room is. you don’t need to ask why his brows are strained and the lips that would usually grace you with a smile, is pressed into a tight line.

x

“i never knew-” seokjin stops himself, lips pressed together as though he doesn’t want to say it, but he does with a shake of his head, “-no, i did know there was something between you and taehyung.”

you end up in seokjin’s apartment. the whole ride has been stiff silent. it’s the first you’ve seen him so disheveled. his tie hangs loose on his neck as though he’d yanked it without a care in the world and forgot about it. the first two buttons of his button down are undone. what once was his perfectly sleeked back hair disheveled from having been mussed up.

the hot chocolate seokjin made you is losing heat the longer you hold onto to it for the sake of having something to do with your hands. “i proposed to him two years ago and stopped loving him as soon as he turned me down - taehyung, he... he’s got a lot going on. that’s all i can say. i hope you don’t misunderstand what you saw.”

his eyes turn as round as saucers for the briefest moment before they flutter to their original almond shapes. shoulder line shaking from chuckling - but there’s nothing funny about any of this so you keep your eyes on him. if he needed confirmation of the truth you’re speaking, he need only search it in the windows of your soul.

“that’s very like you, ___.” he finally says.

you’re not sure what he meant but you’re not about to ponder on it either, “is there anything else you’d like to know about me, seokjin? there’s no reason for me to lie to you - we’re about to get stuck with each other for the rest of our lives. we should at least be able to talk about our past openly.”

when he doesn’t seem to have any other inquiry, you decide to let go of your pride - the reason you never asked was because you were too proud to be wrong. growing up, there were only a few people that you let poke fun at you and fewer you’d let prove you wrong. it dawned on you some time after you’re all showered and ready to go to bed one night - that you’re about to let seokjin waltz into your life and he’ll bear witness to your most intimate side. he’s about to be said one of the fewer people.

“then, my turn - why did you want me to stop attending social functions? i’ve been doing it my whole life - i’m good at it. and i’m not planning to stop just because i got married unless you have a proper reason for asking me to.”

the way his gaze drops tells you it wasn’t just a baseless request. you reach out across the counter, slipping your hands into his. that seems to have brought him back.

“my parents chose to attend a function instead of staying by my grandfather’s side even when the doctor told them he wouldn’t make it til morning - they weren’t even sorry. couldn’t even stay throughout the whole funeral.” he shakes his head almost as though being hung up over it was ridiculous yet couldn’t move past it either, “it’s ugly what too much wealth does - i just- i’m sorry i asked such a thing from you. it’s my own problem that i have to deal with, you don’t have to stop.”

it’s not hard to put yourself in his shoes. you understand where he’s coming from - you want to tell him that but somehow words are cheap. especially right in this moment.

so without thinking, you slip off the stool and walk around the counter until you reach him. the last thing you see before you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down to your level, is his wondrous gaze.

the man doesn’t flinch away from your touch nor does he welcome it in any way. but the longer the seconds stretch on, the more you realize how idiotic and awkward it is to hug someone you barely know - it worked for taehyung but that’s only because he knew you preferred action rather than words.

“i’m not gonna stop completely but i won’t go as often - it’s getting boring anyway.” you nonchalantly say - or at least try to sound like you’ve lost interest in the function on your own. you haven’t been to any since that incident with sowon, waiting out for the rumors to die down is a better choice.

the body in your arms is unresponsive as ever - you would think you’re hugging a dead body if not for the heat of his breath fanning your delicate skin. maybe he’s just too nice to push a lady away. just as you’re about retract your arms, a warm hand rests on your hip. his touch is soft and gentle - as if he’s handling a porcelain doll while you’d just dragged him down to you without even considering how uncomfortable the angle would be given his tall broad frame. 

his body vibrates when he lets out a short breath like a brief chuckle, “you’re very generous with your hugs.”

your brain short circuits when the man raises his head from your shoulder and rests his forehead on yours - it reminds you of how woman you are. even when he’s sitting he still hovers over you. his free hand cups your jaw, thumb lightly pressing on your lower lip. so this is what it felt like when your roles were switched - is he going to give you a false sense that he’ll kiss you the way you would him?

“may i?” he’s smiling when he repeats your own words - eyes trapping the ray of sunlight that pours over the wall-window like an illuminate waterfall. for the first time since you know him, you’re scared. not of what he will do but of what you want him to - but he won’t do.

your train of thoughts dissipates along with your worry the moment his lips touch yours. gentle. yet the hand pulling you into him is possessive. something in your stomach churns with butterflies.

you want to say you don’t know how you end up with your stomach pressed against his crotch or how his semi-hard arousal started rubbing into your abdomen. it’s supposed to be awkward but it isn’t and you know he’s refraining from addressing his aroused state to avoid making it uncomfortable for you - even though every time you shift and lean into him, you see his the gentle bob of his adam’s apple. it makes you want him even more. he leans into your touch as soon as you reach for him like moth drawn to flames.

“right.” he declares as if he’s been reminded of something when he comes in contact with one of the ridge of the rock on your middle finger. it’s your own engagement ring you ordered with seokjin’s. when the man spoke about getting you one, you’d held up your left hand and told him you already had one made. in fact, you never took it off since the day you put it on - which was the same day it came it.

understandably, you’re always wearing more than a ring on your hand - it’s easy to mix up between the ring from your personal collection or a ring of promise. especially when you didn’t tell him you got one made for yourself.

the hand on your cheek is warm as it brushes against your cheekbones, your rolls off his tongue like sweet honey, “what did i ever do to make you think i don’t love you?”

you blink once. you heard his words but your mind isn’t registering anything. but it seems your heart has seem to figure it out from the way it’s accelerating, you’re afraid seokjin might hear it. “wh-what?”

all of a sudden, you have this urge to pull the invisible blinds of his wall-window and hide from the peering rays of the sun. seokjin’s airy gaze. your fallen dress strap. the gentle protrusion in his pants. your own mussed up hair - you want to keep this moment all to yourself.

he pecks your forehead one last time. this lips curling into a smile - he knows you heard him. loud and clear and you have a feeling you’ll be hearing it at the most unpredictable moment from now on. so there’s no rush.

“where should we go for dinner?” 

x

seokjin knows they call him the doctor version of a mad scientist. he knows a plenty of many things. like how he’s more strict with the junior physicians under his care. but that’s only because if he treats them below their potential, they’ll end up being that.

but the part where suho jokingly told him that he was crazy for working on holidays - maybe he was.

he’d moved out as soon as he turned 18 and eventually cut off his parents. before, even if it was just for show, he still got to see them during those functions they held.

but by the time he graduated college and started interning as a doctor - he was already erasing part of his existence. and his parents didn’t seem to notice. it made it cutting them off effortless.

but then, loneliness - pure, unadulterated loneliness started to sink its claws into him. so he turned to work even more. built his life around it.

by the time he became a fellow, he had absolutely zero social life. the only human interaction he had was with his patients - but they come and go. sure they’re grateful for him - and since the private hospital he’s working at is frequented mostly by the richest, he’d received gifts like cars or gold bars from one of his elderly patients who were convinced they were going to die - until they woke up from a successful surgery done by seokjin himself. but they eventually forget him.

and of course, he returned those gifts. he’d be no different than his parents - than the people he wished not to see anymore after he left that world. but the one thing he thought he wanted - the one thing he thought would make him happy, started to burn him out. every birthday was just a reminder that he’s half the age his soul is. 

he’s worn and tired and losing sight of that man he told himself to be by a certain age.

that is, until you came along. at first, it was just courtesy that he listened to what you had to say - apparently you were the ceo. and quite literally, his boss. at first, he thought you were messing with him when you asked for his hand in marriage - no one just waltzes in and propose to someone they don’t know.

even those convenient marriages don’t go this way. but he’d accepted it anyway.

it has more to do with those eyes of yours than the chairman position. those eyes - they remind him so much of himself. the current him. except where his soul wanes, yours thirsts to thrive. like a dying cactus refusing to dry out.

you had thorns but picking them out wasn’t a problem - you’d been disconcerted at first but you’d quickly learn to use it to your advantage. telling him only the truth or nothing. since evasion and half-truths don’t work on him the way they would work on the people you probably surrounded yourself with. and he knew exactly what type of people they were.

eventually, you started telling him the blunt, honest truth. it threw him off a few times - like when you’d straight out told him that you knew who sowon was and still went for him.  and that time when you admitted that he was the second man to receive your proposal - the first being that brat, taehyung. and then, you’d straight out asked him about why he didn’t want you attending functions anymore instead of ignoring his request like his parents would. or flip out of shame for having your lie found out. you were forbearing but firm. sometimes, it felt like you were much older than him. 

but then you had a childish side to you too - it was food for his soul. every time he was with you, he felt like himself again. like that boy who applied for a job at the hospital with only his wits and his will backing him up. at first, he’d only saw that side of you in front of your most treasured people. your father. your mother. taehyung.

what you and taehyung have - seokjin will never come close to comprehend. a bond so strong, not even death could tear you apart. it became apparent too soon to seokjin that taehyung dominated parts of your life and he’ll only have a but a crevice of his presence in yours. your smile would always be a little brighter when you’re with the younger man. eyes always drifting away from him to taehyung.

and he was content with that but he thinks you’ve changed. or maybe it’s him that did. because you’re grinning at him now - like there’s something up your sleeves. and there is - his eyes widen at your brazenness. one minute he was admiring the way you lasted for hours in those heels that you just kicked off - you’d been wearing them starting from the ceremony to the reception and finally the after party but the next minute, you were grinning and pulling him with you down onto the velvet sheets. the your dress has ridden up to just below your knees in the process and seokjin’s caressing your exposed calf - he thinks you’re all the more delicate. your skin, too soft. he’s afraid he might bruise you.

“oh,” you speak into his mouth before pulling away without even a peck on his lips - but there’s a twinkle in your eyes when you pick up a small golden box that sat prettily on the night stand, “almost forgot. for you.”

“i didn’t get you a wedding gift.” he announces, pushing down the suspicion dominating his brain but how can he not pull out the ribbon to find out what you’ve prepared for him, when you’re looking at him like that? all grin and proud and saying something like you didn’t need one.

then his face falls and he’s looking at you deadpanned in the eye after noting the too familiar tablet of blue pills. but the frown doesn’t live long - he finds himself shaking his head. a smile wedging itself on  his own face, “viagra. really?”

“better safe than sorry, right?” it's not right context - usually, a condom would be involved where that sentenced is used. but you know from seokjin’s dazed stare that he doesn’t get it - but he chooses to admire your features instead.

it takes everything in you not to bury your face in his chest just because his stare is making you feel like a high school girl with a crush. his eyes don’t make you want to reel away from him and cover every scar and lies with a thick blanket anymore. perhaps it has something to do with the fact that there isn’t any that he hasn’t seen. both your flaws and your virtue - if he wanted to run away, there were plenty of chances for him to do so but he stayed and now - now, you’ll never let him go. hold him captive in your castle, smooth criminal. you lean and press a kiss on his lips - just to make him close his eyes.

when you pull away, his lips chases yours. just like moth drawn to flames. you can’t help but giggle - it’s cut short when his hand weaves itself into your hair and bring you down to him.

you barely notice the hand that wraps around your wrist before your back hits the soft mattress. his shoulders appear more broad now that he’s hunched over you like a beast who hasn’t had a drop of water since the drought. at times like these you’re reminded of how man he is and how woman you are. a fact you seem to forget because he’s been playing along with your little games like a well-behaved child.

“hey, no fair!” lips pursed, you cross your arms in a show of protest. but he chuckles that soothing chuckle and he’s standing on his knees while the frame of his belt glints in warning.

your heart skips a beat at the sight of his arousal that was begging to be released from the confinements of his cobalt blue pants. the sigh he breathes out when he pulls down the zipper, sends shivers down your spine.but disappointment makes your face fall when he leaves it like that instead of pushing his pants down along with it.

that’s okay. you tell yourself. we’re married now-

you reach out for him only to have a hand wrap around your wrist, your fingers hovering achingly close to the gentle protrusion in his black boxers but not really touching.

you crane your neck to look at him but when your eyes meet, your words die in your throat. the smile is gone and in its place, is a tilted smirk, “are you sure? once we start i might not be able to stop.”

it’s that question that gets your heart writhing and crying to be set free from the confinement of your rib cages.

“seokjin,” the name tastes delectably sinful tonight, “i’ve never wanted anyone to fuck me this badly.”

maybe it’s the vow you’re making on the absolutely zero occasion where you’ve been this rapt by a man. maybe it’s your out of character use of the curse - that’s just how much you want this. or maybe it’s both. either way, seokjin’s gripping handfuls of your dress and you wordlessly raise your hands up for him to pull your dress off you.

it’s the way his eyes travel down your body. hunger. madness. lust. they meld together in those darkened eyes of his yet you’ve never felt so safe. he dives in for a kiss. this time, it’s raw and passionate and has no intention to stop halfway - not after he made it clear that he couldn’t and not after you pleaded for him to take you.

your white cotton bra is first to go - you only wore it because the straps won’t contrast too much with the strap of your dress. initially, you were going to tease him a bit and disappear into the bathroom to change into the lacy black lingerie set you’d specifically ordered to be custom made by victoria’s secret. but with the way he’s kneading your breast in his palm and the way you’re clawing against his clothed chest like a ravenous creature - the lingerie can wait.

“take off your clothes.” in your head, it sounded more demanding - but it comes out breathy and begging. a part of you chide yourself for waving the white flag before the game even began but another part of you is tired of being the only one bare and naked.

there’s a godless gleam in his eyes the moment he heard your request and you should have known seokjin wouldn’t make it that easy for you. this is karma coming back to bite you in your butt naked state after all those times you spent teasing the man and him accepting it without any complaint. you thought he was just mature enough to get over it. it turns out he was just a beast laying in wait to claim what he deserves, “what’s the magic word?”

“please.” you answer in a heartbeat.

that same heart stops beating the second he shakes his head. no. wrong answer. “the other one - do you really think i didn’t notice? the way you tease me - the way you know i won’t do anything about it because i’m older, i have to be a bigger person?”

that’s when your pride comes crashing in like tidal wave. walk away, it says. you take back what you said about having nothing to hide from seokjin - there’s one. and you thought you’d keep it with you. let it be buried in your grave. but he knows - like he knows every layer of your existence. your every desire and compulsion. it’s disgraceful and mortifying, for you. but seokjin holds your gaze and wait, wait, wait - he doesn’t seem to share your thoughts - doesn’t look disgusted either.

“daddy.” the moment the word leaves your mouth, you feel liberated. freed. like a long overdue confession. the pleased look on seokjin’s face is everything and more. “daddy, please.”

“as you wish.” he’s your liberator. your freer. and he’s about to grant your one carnal desire.

his clothes hit the ground within less than a minute. you can’t help but gawk at his perfectly sculpted physique. it’s like gods personally descended the heavens and blessed him in his mother’s womb and stayed by his side up until now - only for him to scorn them right in this moment. your body bounces off the bed lightly when his fingers dig in your thigh, pulling you closer like a ragged doll. a small yelp escapes you.

your panties are the last to go. discarded somewhere on the floor along with yours and his wedding attire.

the first whimper escapes the moment he slips into you, but not fully. he lets you take him in, get used to his size and directs your hand to his lips before placing it on his shoulder. as if telling you, you can hurt him, claw him until his back is raw and bleeding.

you wouldn’t at first - opting to keep your hands fisted while you try your hardest to suppress every moan that erupts from your mouth with every stroke. but then he hits that sweet spot. your back arches forward and you think it’s that moment when your fingers break the delicate skin on his back - but you can’t remember. it’s a blur - the electricity coursing from your heart through your veins and curls your toes. the stars you see in the back of your mind and the way you tighten around him when the delectable sound of his moans brushes the shell of your ear as he holds you against him.

he almost crushed him underneath his weight when he pulls out of you. the traces of his arousal pressing in between your bodies as he forces himself up by propping himself on his forearms. his labored breath fans your face and he’s all you see.

there’s still a surplus of tingle in your lower abdomen how high he takes you - almost like cloud nine. and you’re slick with sweat and body fluid but there’s no where you’d rather be than here, in your husband’s arms.

five months ago, you approached him with the objective of gaining a husband to take the chairman position and maybe give you the grandchild that your mother’s been asking you for. you didn’t expect for anything more than what you bargained for. but the first time he told you how he felt - you still didn’t believe him. 

it was too surreal. and seokjin probably saw the tendrils of doubt every time he tells you how he feels - at the most sporadic moment. but he kept picking your thorns one by one like he could do this for a hundred years and more. you think i was that day when he found out about your past feelings for taehyung that he started. and he finally picked all of your prickly spikes - and now, he’s holding you like a child. head buried in between your breasts, muscled arms loosely hugging your waist. what a contrasting different to the man he was half an hour ago but so very seokjin of him.

the elated breath he lets out with his sigh is warm on your skin, “you know how to make an old man feel young.”

there he does it again. he’s been saying he’s old even though he’s only in his 30′s. at first you thought he was joking but over time - you think he truly believes he is. but when you agree with him-

“is your back okay? wouldn’t want your ancient bones breaking.” you pat his head sympathetically. 

almost as if you’ve pushed a that button with a flashy warning red on it, his fingers twine around your wrist and pull it away from his head. the bed shifts as he hovers over you with an aggrieved glint, “i’m sure there are greater things that little mouth of yours can do than express your concerns for my back, sweetheart.”

your heart skips a beat.

x

epilogue.

you love being married.

not because you can strut to seokjin’s office and have everyone know you have every right to be there. nor because the board can’t really say anything since seokjin fits every characteristics of a chairman either. but because-

“we’ve been at it like rabbits,” seokjin shoulder line jolts slightly when your arms gently wrap around him from behind but there’s a sort of mirth laced in his voice, “you’re still not tired?”

“what ever do you mean, dear husband?” your voice is sweet but not entirely innocent.

sure, you did it an hour ago and you’re both supposed to get ready for bed but when you stepped out of the bathroom and find the bed empty, you had to wander outside. you know he’d be in the living room reviewing past years’ reports in his preparation to take on your dad’s position. he could just step up first and get familiar with his job along the way - but it wouldn’t have been very seokjin to enter the battlefield without polishing his armor.

he smells like peppermint and lavender. donning a plain white shirt and grey sweats - it’s the second most dressed down you’ve ever seen him in compared to the white-collars you’re so used to seeing him in. the first, being when he’s in bed, of course.

“okay, well, i’m going to bed first.” with a peck on his cheek, you bid him a good night.

but it’s not in your nature to give up without a fight - or rather, without sauntering in front him in your pastel pink camisole. you put on the a black and gold corset on your first monthivasery - it was just an excuse for you to try on the lingerie and it paid off. but there’s just something about camisoles - floral or plain pastels are what gets him prancing on you like a hungry beast. it looks like you’re not the only one with a fetish.

the cleaner comes in every twice a week and you’re not here enough to mess up the place except the master bedroom - like seokjin said, you have been going at it like rabbits. still, you bend down, making sure your ass is perked a little higher as you rearrange the picture frames on the rack under the tv.

a tune of your favorite song vibrates against your throat for thirty-six seconds before you straighten your back and begin to walk towards the bedroom. but something you caught in your periphery halts your steps, “did you just check out my ass then bite your lip? ‘cause if you did we’re having sex. right now.”

that seems to catch him off guard - you’ve been finding new and creative ways to get fucked. some worked. and by worked, you mean it had you moaning and writhing as he took you raw. some failed. meaning he had relented mainly because you were asking and he wanted to please you - at times like those, he was the one lying down, watching you ride him but halfway through, he’d pulled you down and started fucking you missionary because ‘you were good darling, but watching you makes me want to personally fuck you senseless. you can ride me next time, i promise.’

either way, your work life is superb and your sex life is out of this world. especially with a husband like seokjin. guess that dry spell has finally lifted and unleashed the hungry beast in him.

seokjin sighs, eyebrows coming together in a troubled frown but the lump in his pants say otherwise. “when you’re sore and need me to walk you to your office tomorrow, remember you asked for this.”

something in the pit of your stomach churns. your heart races with adrenaline as he takes two steps with those long legs of his and close the distance. a yelp escapes your lips, not expecting him to hoist you over his shoulder like you weight nothing and landing a smack on your ass like he’s reprimanding you.

“seokjin! put me down, i’m heavy!” you cry out, smacking his back in protest. when you wanted him to take you, this wasn’t exactly what you had in mind - it’d be a completely, perfect lie if you say you weren’t dripping with excitement.

“this way’s faster than your tiny little legs, darling.” you can hear the smirk in his voice before he kisses the exposed skin on your hip.

x

note: and that’s it. but it’s not over yet! there might be drabbles coming up on our fav couple’s adventure as they try to get preggo lmaooo also i’ll be doing a ‘story time’ where i talk about the background of this fic - what inspired me to write it, why i titled it like the way i did and i’d like to dissect and oc and tae’s relationship and so much more. send me an ask if you have something in particular you want me to address from the fic!

if you like this fic feel free to check out namjoon’s version called good guys finish last. i’m also planning to turn this au into a series for every member. taehyung or yoongi will be next!

[softcallofdutyimagines]

How the cannon characters would react to my fannon versions of themselves

Ok, so I had an idea inspired by a convo with @smokeywhalee about cannon characters vs the fannon versions of those characters, and so I wrote this to explore the versions I write verses what it might be like if they met their cannon selves.

These are just my faves for this, since I write/enjoy writing for them the most, but I hope you all can enjoy!

Adler vs My Adler

Bro, Adler would probably shoot my Adler on sight lmao

I can't imagine he'd be very happy with the idea of a perfect clone of himself walking around

That, and the dad bod disturbes him

In all seriousness, I think Adler would give my Adler a chance and at least maybe try to talk with him

If he could somehow confirm that my Adler is indeed a perfect clone of himself, then I can gaurentee you it wouldn't be a very nice means of meeting up

Probably more like a black ops kid knapping tbh

Adler wants to know who sent my Adler and wtf is going on, while my Adler is (understandably) agitated and wants to get back home to Hilda (Bell 😌💖) because he knows she'll be worried

Of course, this would spark another conversation of a clone of Bell being alive in the world

This is of course completely unacceptable for Adler

While my Adler may be a bit more mellowed then regular Adler, he's every bit as tough and stubborn and would never give up Bell's location

All in all, things would end very badly

Like, possibly "fight to the death" badly

Adler sees an inferior version of himself who is a slave to his emotions rather then a solider loyal to his county

My Adler sees a government lapdog so deep and blinded in his own dogma that he's willing to kill anyone he's told to, including his Bell

Idk who would win that fight tbh

My Adler is a little more muscular and has a bit of a weight advantage, but cannon Adler is almost definitely more agile, so....

Best to just keep those two apart

Hudson vs My Hudson

Aw man, this would be the Adlers part two tbh

The only real difference is that my Hudson by and large shares cannon Hudson's average ish body type

They know the exact same stuff, they've been through the exact same stuff, the only difference is that my Hudson does not have a Jenny (he has you!!!)

That's negligible I think tho, so luckily you'd be safe

Hudson would certainly want my Hudson detained for interigation, just to see what's going on here

My Hudson would come willingly, on the condition that he can let you know he'll be away for a time first

I think Hudson would allow it, as long as it's from a secure, CIA line

After some time, my Hudson has been completely cooperative and everyone involved has come to the conclusion that he is indeed not a soviet spy

I'm sure there'd be some sort of security thing they'd have to do, considering you can't just have a man with Hudson's knowledge walking around freely

Maybe they'd try to hire him on lol

My Hudson would do it 10/10

Hudson probably would enjoy working with himself

Finally, someone competent

No, I think the only real thing he doesn't get is the head rubs obsession

It sounds nice, sure, but....

Hudson just can't imagine being that touchy feely

Lazar vs My Lazar

My Lazar would love nothing more then to be instant friends

Maybe chat a little, see what kind of stuff his other self does

Who can you trust if not yourself after all

Cannon Lazar could not disagree more

He's extremely suspicious and twice as freaked out of my Lazar

Probably would pull his gun on him tbh

My Lazar would be able to diffuse the situation at least and the two would try and make sense of what's going on

Lazar never lets his guard down, but he is willing to hear my Lazar out

The two don't become "friends" in the least by the end of it all, mich to my Lazars disappointment, but they would leave on neutral terms

Lazar probably assumes he had a weird hallucination or ate something that made him sick and forgets about the whole thing

My Lazar goes home to his S/O feeling a bit upset at being rejected by his own self

At least my Lazar gets cuddles

Cannon Lazar? I don't see him being very into that kind of physical affection

He seems more like a one night stand, make her breakfast in the morning, then move on type of guy

Definitely not interested in "cuddling"

Oh, and you can forget touching his stomach, even though he actually has abs... unlike my Lazar

Not on your life, my friend

Mason vs My Mason

Oof Mason would probably freak tf out if he met a perfect clone of himself

He'd probably assume that whatever the Russians did to him is acting up and causing this weird hallucination

My Mason understands completely though and tries to calm cannon Mason down

The two talk it out and eventually Mason realizes that there's nothing sinister going on here...

Just some weird ass shit

The two of them actually get along very well

It's kind of therapeutic in a way for cannon Mason to have a literal conversation with himself like this

They actually decide to stay in contact and hangout together more often

However, they do agree to keep each other secret

All hell would break loose in the CIA if they found out there were two Alex Masons walking around

My Mason teaches cannon Mason a little bit if what he's learned in therapy to deal with his anxiety and PTSD

It's a very beneficial and healthy friendship

Weaver vs My Weaver

Weaver is not at all interested in my Weaver lmao

He sees a pathetic, self pitying insult to himself, and my Weaver sees a callus tool who's afraid to open up

That does not go over well, and while the two might have a little old man fist fight if things go particularly bad...

I think they'd probably just agree to leave each other be at the end of the day

Cannon Weaver probably doesn't even report the phenomenon to anyone higher up, he just wants to let it go and do his current job

Meanwhile, my Weaver is pretty wounded by his doppelgangers words and spends the next while wondering if he really is as weak and spineless as he's been told

Luckily he at least has you to come home to and talk about it with

Cannon Weaver is another one where you can forget being touchy feely with him

Even if he did actually need a hug or something like that, you wouldn't catch him dead admitting it

... Perhaps his clone does have a point

Woods vs My Woods

Complete and utter MAYHEM

Woods would probably be pretty freaked out to see a copy of himself out and about

He'd have no problem approaching my Woods and seeing what's up though

Upon finding out that they are indeed the same person, the true trouble begins

Woods honestly doesn't care how my Woods came to be, what he does care about is figuring out what kind of stupid shit the two of them can get up to

Mostly that comes in the form of annoying and freaking out Mason

They both laugh at each other's jokes, but Woods wouldn't miss a chance to roast my Woods' dad bod

This is where the real difference is

Not so much in the physique, but in the personality

My Woods is actually pretty sensitive tbh, so I'm sure he'd get upset and pick a fight with cannon Woods just to shut him up

Which of course, cannon Woods would love

I mean, how often is he going to get the chance to try and kick his own ass?????

Once again, not sure who would win, but let's just say it wouldn't be pretty

Although, if I had to guess, I'd probably say cannon Woods

Only because I try to consistently portray my Woods as his physical age while cannon Woods is miraculously always spry and limber

Not very fair, but ok

Anyway things only would get worse if Woods found out my Woods has an S/O that fawns over him and such

Pretty sure Woods would puke on the spot just at the thought of letting someone "cuddle" him

They become enemies pretty fast and my Woods tries to avoid cannon Woods when he can

That guy's an asshole