#physical therapy vs medication

[labsportstherapy]

Why Athletes Should Prioritize Therapy Over Doctor Visits for Body Pain?

What if I told you that prioritizing therapy over immediate doctor visits could be the key to not only managing pain but also preventing future injuries and optimizing performance? Let's delve into why athletes should consider therapy as their first line of defense against body pain.

[giselleloversclub]

NCT SMAU REC PT.2

MARK LEE

COMMUNITY @peacheeeliz

mark, desperate to talk to the cute girl in his japanese class, forms a study group. who knew that other struggling college students might want to join a study group?

nonidol!mark x nonidol!fem reader

'IS THE DAMN SEASON @najaemism

in which your ex-boyfriend comes back to your hometown—and he wants to talk to you.

mark lee x fem!reader

TIME MACHINE @ddolbyong

mini smau inspired by kim doyoung's time machine

non idol mark x fem reader

HOPELESSLY DEVOTED @junrenjun

y/n and mark are NCIT's two biggest sports stars. mark is hopelessly devoted to her. the catch? she can't stand him. will two poorly timed injuries and a shared physical therapy class bring them together? or will it all come crashing down?

volleyball player fem reader x hockey player mark

YOU AGAINST YOURSELF !! @salemofthe0pera

mark lee has a serious problem. his writer's block is getting the best of him and the deadline to his midterm creeps closer with each passing day which means his jam sessions get pushed to late nights.

y/n also has a serious problem. she can't get sleep because of the low hum of an electric guitar and faint voices coming from next door and she has an 8am chemistry lecture in the morning...

in which two college students and their friend groups find fun and solace in each other. no sleep is involved unfortunately…

non idol mark x non idol fem reader

UNREQUITED LOVE @lailalali

mark and his older brother dorm together in college. though, mark likes to spend his days at his frat house, the few days he spends at his shared dorm are when his brothers girlfriend is home. what happens when y/n starts constantly teasing mark about his messy room or Spider-Man boxers laying around?

frat boy! mark x brother’s gf! y/n

MARK LEE VS THE WORLD @winwintea

mark has never wanted anything in his life. the lead bassist for 'dream on', unemployed, and quite literally a loser, mark expects he's hit rock bottom from here. that is until you, the girl of his dreams quite literally skates out of his dreams and into his life. mark has never wanted anything more. but is love really worth the emotional baggage when you have seven evil exes, who each possess superpowers and are intent on defeating him?

bassist!mark lee x fem!reader

VOLLEYBALL FOR DUMMIES @jaeminvore

Mark Lee has been called many things. Dedicated was one of them and that dedication lead him into joining NeoTech College's well coveted Women's Volleyball team, the NeoTech Tigers, as their manager in hopes of winning the infamous setter, Y/N's heart. But there was one problem, being academically inclined did not come with the extensive knowledge of anything related to the sport and to put it simply, Mark Lee doesn't know shit about Volleyball.

manager!Mark x fem!volleyball player!Reader

OUT OF MY LEAGUE @prettyrenjunn

the first time mark took notice of you was in a music room, you had a guitar in your hands and you strummed away to a tune he couldn’t recognise. mark hadn’t known you were in a band, not until he heard that same tune was trending but wait YOU PLAY THE DRUMS???

mark lee x f!reader

STRANGER @diaphamin

in which mark lee attempts to text his ex girlfriend, not knowing her number was switched over to you.

mark lee x fem reader

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HUANG RENJUN

YOU BELONG WITH ME @prettyrenjunn

renjun has had a crush on you since as long as he can remember, the problem? he can’t seem to get rid of these feels and there’s no way he’s going to confess and possibly ruin the years of friendship you share.

huang renjun x f!reader

LOVE HURTS (literally) @wonbin-truther

The first time yn ended in the ER it was a complete accident the other times however ... maybe there was a certain ER doctor on call who sparked the sudden visit. when Huang Renjun got his medical degree in emergency medicine he didn't plan to use it just to treat the same girl who comes in with a new injury just to see him.

Doctor! Renjun x reader

MATCH OUR HEARTS ! @chenlesfavorite

being a love consultant is definitely a one of a kind job, but hey, all that matters is that you like it! even if that means hearing all sorts of stuff from your clients…

renjun, on the other hand, is a peaceful bakery owner… well, he was peaceful until he fell in love with this girl that visits the bakery almost every day! he’s liked her for a while but he can’t bring himself to confess and he doesn’t have the slightest clue about love… so his friends come up with the genius idea that he should go to a love consultant.

but falling for the love consultant was not on his list when he requested your help.

bakery owner!renjun x fem!reader

(not so) SECRET ADMIRER @mrkified

never in a million years would you ever be bold enough to talk to your biology partner renjun outside of school — which is why you came up with the bright idea to leave sticky notes on his car to catch his attention

huang renjun x fem!reader

AN ANGEL GETS HIS WINGS @strrykais

did you know that angels walk the earth before they get accepted into heaven, being tasked to watch over a human and complete their assignment.

Renjun was excited to finally have the chance to earn his wings, until he finds out his task is getting you to love life. a very depressed girl meets a very desperate boy, can they learn that maybe staying on earth isn't such a bad thing after all.

angel!renjun x depressed-fem!reader

NICE GUY @fullsunstrawberry

meeting a cute guy at one of your best friends halloween parties should be fun, right? but why does everyone seem to not like him? he’s a really nice guy

renjun x reader

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LEE JENO

NEWBIE @thatsatricky1

genre : University au, spin on fight club au, social media au; smau, maybe written parts too, probs some angst, fluff.

Lee Jeno x F Reader.

RIDE OR DIE @yutarot

you knew very little of jeno lee, but who did? he scared most people and hated the rest. so what happens when you accidentally walk in on him removing his race jacket, identifying him as the famous, faceless f1 driver you and everyone else know under the name samo. do you run around the college telling everyone of his secret? or do you take the opportunity to strike a deal with him, a deal which changes both of your lives, forever. a fake relationship.

f1driver!jeno X fem reader

EMPTY PROMISES @mrkified

all your friends told you that lee jeno wasn’t worth it, but you didn’t listen nor care. to you he was more than the ‘empty promises’ that your friends seemed to think he gave you.

lee jeno x fem!reader

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LEE DONGHYUCK

FORMULA OF LOVE @soobieedoo

Y/N is a diligent pharmacy student at NCityU. Ever since she was a kid her parents have instilled their high expectations on her. Therefore, Y/N has always had 4 goals, Get a degree, Get a good job, be financially stable, and absolutely in all circumstances stay away from distractions — including love of any sort.

During her freshman year of university her friends somehow convinced her to go on a dating app “for fun” where she meets Lee Donghyuck. She miraculously hit it off with him only to realize that he has made her focus falter and ultimately broke it off. Since then, she believes even more that love is a distraction that she cannot afford.

Lee Donghyuck — or better known as Haechan around campus, is a carefree, charming and fellow pharmacy student who also has a passion for music. He has recently transferred to NCityU to join their music program as he plans to pursuit both his passion for music and pharmaceuticals.

Y/N is working at the campus clinic. She has kept herself busy either through her studies or her job and is proud that she has eliminated all distractions…but wait, what is lee donghyuck aka said distraction doing in HER breakroom? and why is her heart beating like crazy?

pharmacy student! haechan x fem! pharmacy student reader

NIGHTWALKER @viasdreams

'No human blood' is an extremely grueling rule for Donghyuck to live by, his fledgling vampire urges consuming his every thought. Some days, he finds himself struggling to hold onto his humanity, constantly fighting against his insatiable cravings. His human facade slips one night when he passes you, your bloody hand unknowingly guiding his monstrous actions.

or haechan accidentally sucks your blood and drama ensues

vampire haechan x fem! human reader

PAY THE PRICE @lqfiles

after getting evicted out of your old place, you're left with no other choice but to look for a cheaper alternative. which is how you end up becoming neighbours with lee haechan, who has a passion for music and disturbing whatever peace and quiet there is.

or in which you found yourself a very nice apartment, the only issue? your neighbour is your friend's somewhat ex-situationship who won't stop playing his guitar at 2 am in the night.

neighbour!haechan x fem!reader

NO IDEA @jirsungs

a story where both you and lee donghyuck seem to get what you want. he's the perfect pawn in making your ex-boyfriend jealous and the smarty pants tutor helping you pass your math class. donghyuck has it easy too, he's finally able to seek out and experience the world of dating through you, his long-devoted crush and surprisingly enthusiastic tutoring student. but then again, when meaningless tutoring sessions soon evolve into reciprocated feelings, is it really that easy?

loser!donghyuck x fem!reader

FORBIDDEN FEELINGS @junkooks-wife

college student haechan who has a crush on his best friend mark lee’s sister. whom by the way is COMPLETELY off limits to his friends.

haechan x fem¡reader

CATCH THAT GOMDO! ᵔⰙᵔ @jungaji

neo city zoo and aequarium have been fierce competitors for years, fighting to outshine each other. what would happen to the two attractions when you decide to pocket a cute bear keychain lying near the jellyfish display for yourself, blissfully unaware that it belongs to the infamous zookeeper, lee haechan?

zookeeper!haechan x aquarist fem!reader

personal fav !

#EPICFORTNITELOBBY @diaphamin

in which haechan, a famous fortnite streamer, hops into a random duos match and, by chance, gets paired with you. instantly clicking with your personality, he decides to send you a friend request. what will happen as the two of you start playing together more often?

gamer hyuck x fem reader

ZOOM , CLICK , PANIC ! @jji-lee

with your platform growing it's about time you get your own personal camera man! you probably should've put in the job description that the position involved working with a camgirl... maybe then sweet virgin nerd lee donghyuck wouldn't have applied for the job. now he's stuck with you, but he's determined to make it work.

alternatively, hyuck is a photography nerd who needs money for a new cameras and lenses, and you're a camgirl in desperate need of a cameraman.

virgin nerd!hyuck x camgirl!reader

S T E P O N M E @doughyk

haechan the smartest guy in his calculus class,the one who passes all his exams is in desperate need of quick cash. You on the other hand not so good at calculus,after finding yourself in the library trying to study ,you feel an extra pair of eyes on you.

nonidol!haechan x y/n

FRIEND APPLICATION @fullsunstrawberry

When all your friends are busy being adults, what do you do? Well Haechan thinks scrolling on reddit, looking for a job, makes him an adult…What happens when someone special forces him to start adulting.

Haechan x reader

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NA JAEMIN

GENUINE MISTAKE @hhie

just flirty jaemin

jaemin x reader strangers > lovers

OUR PATHS @girlz4jaem

although you’ve tried to convince yourself that you’re over jaemin, your actions say otherwise. to your surprise, on the one year anniversary of your breakup with him, you suddenly find yourself in his city. trying to move on is hard, especially when you won’t stop running into him.

na jaemin x fem!reader

RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME @justalildumpling

after the messy end to your relations with jaemin, it seemed like you were the only one unable to move on from your past. but with a few slip ups in between the planning of his wedding, you realised that maybe he too stayed right where you’d left him

jaemin x fem!reader

AND THEY WERE ROOMATES ! @fullsunstrawberry

when your old college decides that your major isn’t worth the money. Meaning you have to transfer in the middle of your last year to neo university. But luckily you have three fuckboys to bring you out of your shell and help you get off

jaemin x reader

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ZHONG CHENLE

¿donde está la biblioteca? @peterm4rker

In which SMU’s star basketball player zhong chenle is threatened to be benched for the season because of his failing spanish grade, marking the end of his life as he knows it.

or

In which SMU’s resident spanish tutor y/n is suddenly being harassed by a random dance major, begging her to tutor his best friend before he spirals further into depression (or finishes the third tub of cookie dough ice cream he did not buy.)

basketballcaptain!chenle x spanishtutor!reader

BROTHER BESTFRIEND FALLING FOR YOU @strrykais

brother’s best friend falling for you

mini smau but i loved it so much i wanted to include it

personal fav

WHO CARES !? @fullsunstrawberry

y/n is friends with what is know as the golden squad. the golden squad beingJaemin (known for being the campus heart throb) Jeno (known for being the best athlete in the whole school) and Mark (known for literally knowing everyone at the school) What happens when y/n is forced to sit next to a boy she doesn’t know named Chenle.

student chenle x student fem reader

STUPID CUPID @viasdreams

mini smau

in which chenle has the job to find you a lover but fall for you instead

personal favorite

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PARK JISUNG

LEFT ON SEEN @jsbluu

you, a first year college student at ncit university, "stumble" upon the twitter account of your campus crush, park jisung. you've had a crush on him since your junior year of high school, but he always seemed to have a flock of girls chasing after him.

out of a boost of confidence (and maybe a little too much to drink), you decide to send him a dm. what's the worst that could happen? he has thousands of followers, it's not like he's ever gonna see it.. right?

wrong! will jisung reply to you and fall in love? or will you just become another girl lost in his dms. read to find out!

dance major!jisung x environmental scientist fem!reader

BACK 2 U @ttjisung

in which jisung does his best to avoid you, his ex, until he realizes his mistake far too late

p. jisung x fem!reader smau - exes to lovers

RENT-A-GIRLFRIND.COM @jji-lee

maybe you should've deleted that stupid girlfriend rental website you made years ago. and maybe you should've ignored park jisung's very desperate request to pay for a fake girlfriend. but hey, it's easy money, not like you'll fall in love with him or anything... right?

basically, even though the rent-a-girlfriend site isn't actually in service... who would say no to $34 an hour and free dates with park jisung?

fuckboy!jisung x fem!reader

LIKE MAGIC @jaemna

entering her 2nd year at neo culture institute of witchcraft and wizardry, yn is opening doors to new possibilities in every aspect of her university career, including being accepted onto ravenclaw’s quidditch team and being president of the astronomy club. one door she didn’t expect to open, however, was one that leads down the path of a head over heels crush on a 1st year hufflepuff boy, park jisung.

hufflepuff!jisung x ravenclaw!reader

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MISC NCT MEMBER

i put a 127 pic but there's wayv too !

HOW LONG LEE TAEYONG @finaleourconcert

mini smau

roommates & friends to lovers

taeyong x fem reader

SLOWLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH JOHNNY @viasdreams

"cowokers to lovers"

mini smau

IN PERFECT SYNC JUNG JAEHYUN @yutarot

your dance college wasn’t the easiest to get in to, let alone was it easy to stay. so what happens when your college decides they need to cut two of the dance teams from competing ever again, the ballet team and the hiphop team. will both teams get along in order to solve their connected issue, or will they fight to get their own team back to competing again? only you and hiphop dance team captain, jeong jaehyun, can decide your teams fates. but there’s one problem, you hate eachother.

fboy!jaehyun X balletdancer!yn

HEAVENLY JUNG JAEHYUN @fullsunised

y/n and jaehyun were from different sides of the same world, that is until they're added into a groupchat together. and as they fall in love with literally everything about each other, the whole world turns heavenly.

jaehyun jung x idol! reader

ROSES JUNG JAEHYUN @nneteyamss

during your freshman year of college you had a situationship with jaehyun. despite both falling for each other, issues got in the way and jaehyun ghosted you. it's been 2 years since and he never got over you and he'd do almost anything to get you again... including writing a song to get your attention.

jeong jaehyun x fem!reader

personal fav !

SLOWLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH JAEHYUN @viasdreams

slowy falling in love with jaehyun

idol x music producer

mini smau

1-800-hot-n-fun [jeong jaehyun] @strrykais

number one rule in host club, dont fall in love with your client. except jaehyun has always been in love with you.

mini smau

SLOWLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH JUNGWOO @viasdreams

slowly fallin in love with jungwoo

mini smau

1-800-hot-n-fun [kim jungwoo] @strrykais

the little prank text kim jungwoo sent as a dare, somehow made him a pretend father before the age of 27. he wouldn’t have it any other way because it lead him to you.

TEXTBOOK (love) NOTES XIAO DEJUN @xiaojunsdino

Most days, y/n goes to the library right when it opens at 6am. Choosing to study in the psychology textbook section, she picks up a book and leaves a silly note for the next person. What begins as old school communication through notes eventually turns into something more…

xiaojun x fem!reader

HEAD OVER HEELS WONG GUANHENG (hendery) @tynlvr

you’re head over heels for hendery, and you try to find out if he’s head over heels for you too.

compscimajor!hendery x film!major fem!reader

LOSERS IN LOVE LIU YANGYANG @tynlvr

you’re a second-year psych major taking songwriting for fun since you’ve always loved poetry. you’re not expecting to make any friends, but liu yangyang comes barging into your life like a ray of sunshine on the first day and you can tell you’re going to be best of friends. that’s all… right?

music major!yy x fem!psych!major reader

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NCT DREAM SMAU SERIES

1-800-HOT-N-FUN @strrykais

mark - didn’t your mom ever tell you to not send nudes??? did she ever tell you that the random number might send some back…

renjun -texting is fun especially when his number falls into the lap of someone who knows nothing about him

jeno - accidentally swiping right may not be as bad as you originally thought..

haechan -all you wanted was a touch up, now you got someone to touch you up ;)

jaemin - when a random number messages you because he found it written on a bathroom stall …

pt2 of jaemin - a day in the life of a boy still obsessed with his girl and a girl who is still obsessed with $2 margaritas

chenle - who said texting your ex was a bad thing??? the wrong number thats who…

jisung - when a random number texts you excerpts from your lost diary, he decides he wants to have some fun with it.

SLOWLY FALLING IN LOVE @viasdreams

mark

renjun

jeno

haechan

jaemin

chenle

jisung

LOVER TO EX TO LOVER @viasdreams

mark - being in a toxic situationship with mark

rebuilding a relationship with mark !!

jeno - falling out of love with jeno

rebuilding a relationship with jeno !!

haechan - falling out of love with haechan (warnings: lots of talk about alcohol and alcohol related issues)

rebuilding a relationship with haechan !!

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[cripplecharacters]

Hey! I’m writing a story that involves a lot of different perspectives of disability, I love scifi but god can it be awful about disability so I’m trying to make an anti that. It mostly focuses on the idea of the cure narrative. A big theme at the core of it is accepting your disability because you wouldn’t be the person you are without it. You’re an important piece of the richness and diversity of humanity etc etc. That’s a message that’s very close to my heart as someone who’s neurodivergent and physically disabled from birth.

But I also know my experiences and feelings are far from universal. I wanted to show other perspectives, other interpretations of that core message, so I added a character who was recently disabled a year ago which has significantly uprooted her life. He also doubles as showing someone who became disabled through doing dangerous things he shouldn’t have been doing because I want to have a way to tackle disability as a punishment or moral thing (another shitty trope that scifi is full of! :sob:)

Her acceptance is the most raw and recent of the group’s, happening over the course of the story. But since her experience of disability is so different from mine (never having lived without it), I wanted to look for outside opinions. What are some things I should keep in mind while writing him? Do you have any recommendations for articles/blogs/etc from people with similar experiences?

Thank you! I love what this blog is doing :) <3 Apologies if this is a little incoherent, it’s one of those days

Thank you for your ask! For a character with an acquired disability, one of the big things to consider is just how much recovery there will be. Even after leaving the hospital she will be on bed rest for a bit, and afterwards comes physical and/or occupational therapy for at least a few months. Recovery is a taxing, slow process that makes a person realize just how much process they’ve lost for tasks that they didn’t think much about. He would also probably have pain and maybe even a new routine to take care of the injury. It’s hard to give specifics of what your characters recovery will involve without knowing the injury though.

As for resources, here are some links I think can help! Thank you mod Sasza for the help compiling them :] (smiley face

Special Books By Special Kids - A channel with a ton of interviews with disabled people from all walks of life, mostly with developmental disabilities but there are interviewees with acquired ones as well.

Footless Jo - A youtube channel run by a woman with an amputation.

Born Blind vs. Becoming Blind - What Are The Differences? - A video comparing the experiences of someone who’s been blind since birth and someone who became blind later in life.

LEARNING FROM WHEELCHAIR FRIENDS! - A video of three friends with acquired disabilities talking about their lives and the disability community.

Sabia and Loren - A couples channel that mostly focuses on Loren’s life after having amputations.

22 & Suddenly Disabled: My Story | Functional Neurological Disorder - A video on living after suddenly developing FND.

Tactile Art - And article on making art as a deaf blind artist

Changing Faces - Stories by people with facial differences, has a filter for acquired disabilities.

Phoenix Society Resources - stories and articles by and for burn survivors about their experiences and coping with a sudden disability.

Girls with Grafts (podcast) - Two burn survivors talking about their experiences, can be listened to on most platforms that host podcasts.

Augmentative and Alternative Communication: How Becoming a User Changed My Relationships - An article by Alice Wong, who is disabled since birth but became no speaking after a medical emergency. She writes a lot about disability so I recommend checking out her other works as well, though this focuses on aquiered disability.

If you have any more specific questions feel free to ask again!

Have a nice day!

Mod Rot

[narutocharacterpolls]

FINAL ROUND

HATAKE KAKASHI vs SENJU TSUNADE

Reasons for submission under the cut

Kakashi

relatable as an adult

he is just an overworked guy who was told to watch some kids w LOTS of issues

needs therapy

good presence and guidance in Narutos life

interesting

cares about and is dedicated to his students very much

he is just cool

he is trying his best despite what he has been through in the past

is up for having fun but still knows when to be serious

was a narcissistic shit but grew out of it

has good intentions

sexy

wonderfully complex and well developed character

incredibly resilient and supportive

a sad and deeply broken man

always willing to give his life to protect them and his other precious people

just wanted everything to be ok for once in his life

hated Danzo

his friendship with Gai is adorable

the way he teases Tenzo is fun

he’s known as cool and aloof but in reality he’s a huge dork

Gai would want him to win

Tsunade

milf….

was the best hokage

the regulation she created to include medics on every team saved so many lives

she's funny and a complex and interesting character

is a bad bitch

probably THE most competently written female character in the entire series

she has a very rich history that plays into her character's actions and motivations

wanting to be the best medic-nin possible in order to save more lives because she lost her love Dan, and also change the way ninja squads operated to always have a medic to save more lives did so much for the better during the war to reduce casualties

after being broken down by so many people she cares about dying, she dips and leaves behind ninja society, which has taken everything from her (including wiping out her clan)

because Tsunade is also one of the most legendary/strongest ninja alive, no one could really stop her or chain her down. It takes the conviction of a child who wants her to save the village and heal his friends to get her back to Konoha, despite the all the trauma she's endured

she's a medic with a fear of blood that overcomes that to fight her own teammate and beat his ass so Orochimaru stops killing and maiming people

she steps up to be a leader because it's what the new generation need and someone has to fix all the stuff broken by her selfish teammates and old teacher

the strongest female character both in physical strength and the strength of her writing. It's like she was written first as a character versus most of the other female characters being written first as Girl and Love Interest

Tsunade is vain and a chronic gambler and drunk, she is really brash and abrasive, she is traumatized. But she's also deeply caring, an incredibly accomplished woman, one of the smartest people/medics in the world, and a great leader

she's multi-layered. She is a woman, but her entire character isn't just Woman

finally finished the job on Jiraiya on previous poll

strong arms

she is strong and smart and quick as a whip but still soft and caring when it comes to her loved ones. Characters with rough exteriors who are mushy inside are very good

[bones4thecats]

Tfa Ultra Magnus x Conjux fembot reader, the reader also accompanies him to go to earth, also where in the "End of the game" the reader grabs Shockwave because, Shockwave hurt Magnus, Also her Sparkling is Chromia

TFA! Ultra Magnus' S/O vs Shockwave

Characters: Ultra Magnus (Transformers Animated) Requester: @zinnia1506 A/N: This was fun since I have never written for Ultra Magnus (TFA) before. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this!! ⚠️ Spoilers/Trigger Warnings for: Mentions of physical attacks and therapy (maybe underlines of physical harm) ⚠️

╔══════════════════════════════════════════╗

╚═════ Ultra Magnus ═══════════════════════════╝

🎖️ As the Second in Command of the Cybertronian Military, you were always involved in anything world-threatening, and as the sparkmate of Ultra Magnus, who was the leader of all of Cybertron, you were aware of every decision, no matter the size

🎖️ In the middle of your shift, which you had been on since early morning, you were met with Sentinel Prime and Jazz walking inside of your office

"What can I help you both with?" You asked, flipping through multiple data-pads as you listened intently for one of them to speak.

"Good solar-cycle, General Y/N. Ultra Magnus has requested your presence on our voyage to meet with Team Prime on Earth." Jazz said.

"Earth? Never heard of it. But, if Magnus has requested me to go with, it must be important. I shall attend. When are you launching?"

"We're leaving in two solar-cycles." Sentinel answered.

🎖️ Nodding and humming in assurance you were listening, you set your data-pad pile down and pushed it towards the two soldiers before asking if they could take it to your receptionist for you

"Of course. We'll see you in two solar-cycles, General Y/N." Jazz said before carrying one half of the pile whilst Sentinel carried the second half.

"Yes you shall."

»–•–«

🎖️ When hearing your pede-steps, the Elite Guard members looked up at you. You held your own staff, this one being called the 'Stormbringer', as it was supposedly used by Solus when she needed to create any weapon with the help of her forge

🎖️ You looked at the mechs and nodded before looking at Ultra Magnus and smiling gently, him offering his free servo for you to grasp it with your own. Which you did

🎖️ You hoped this mission would go smoothly

»–•–«

🎖️ As you walked around the compound, you heard a loud crash, making you look up and begin running towards the noise. And you stopped when you saw a Decepticon standing directly over your already-injured sparkmate

"Well, if it isn't my old boss; Ultra Magnus. Perhaps I should finish what I started." He said, raising Sentinel's hammer up in the air as you readied yourself for a fight.

🎖️ Lighting wrapped around the weapon as you held yours, hiking it in the air as you came crashing down, hitting the 'Con in the head and kicking him in the opposite way from your sparkmate. You then realized as the hammer fell that Ratchet disabled it with his electromagnetic pulse

"General Y/N! Get away from that traitor!" Sentinel yelled as he ran in, his sword ready to use.

"Sentinel! It's fine!" A loud crash interrupted your explanation before you finished with, "Make sure Acree is alright! I'll com a medic for Magnus to make sure he's unharmed."

🎖️ As the mechs ran in the way of the Decepticon-made-hole in the wall, you called one of the best medics in and yelled for them to move their aft as fast as they possible could

"General, do you need us here-"

"No! You get that Decepticon as fast as you can. Go, now!" You screamed before grabbing Sentinel's free servo and making him look at you.

"You give Stormbringer to Ratchet when he goes back to Earth. If I hear you disobeyed my commands, I'll make sure you don't hear the title 'Prime' after Sentinel again, got it?" You threatened, making the bot shake in fear before nodding and running after your old friend with the weapon.

»–•–«

🎖️ Thankfully, with the effort of multiple medics and scientists on your home planet, Ultra Magnus was able to start his journey to recovery

🎖️ You smiled as he began to move his arms and servos around to read an old Cybertronian story to Chromia. You were then interrupted as a tap on your shoulder-pad, making you turn around to look at Rodimus Prime, who stood stiffly before saluting you

"What is it you need, Rodimus?" You asked, lightly tapping Stormbringer on the ground.

"Shockwave has been captured by Team Prime and is being brought into his cell. The guards just wanted to know if you wished to speak to the prisoner before he is locked up."

"I would love too." You said, a scarily dark tone coming out of your intake.

"Carrier? Where are you going?" Chromia yelled.

"I'm going to handle some business real quick. I'll be back in under a mega-cycle."

"Stay safe, Y/N."

"I will, Magnus. And you be good for your Sire, Chrome!" You teased, waving your digits at your small family.

🎖️ Walking away, you motioned for the guards to keep their guards up no matter what. And as you made your way behind Rodimus, you gripped your weapon tighter by the second

That hunk of scrap was going to regret trying to harm your sparkmate...

[topguncortez]

How do you think Jake and Bradley would handle PPD?

If you aren’t comfortable answering I completely understand.

Some HC's under the cut:) Also, send in more head cannons. I've only gotten a handful since I started this blog and I really like them:))

Bradley:

I feel like Bradley is very in tune with your moods and your body. I think he noticed the signs of postpartum depression before you even did. He knew it was a thing, and knew that it was something to look out for.

Now, I think he is more focused on how to help you vs the baby. Not saying he's not a good dad, I think he'd be the best dad ever, but I think he is also a very nervous dad.

Bradley is very careful with his words. He knows that words can have a strong meaning and sometimes he says the wrong thing. But he is careful when talking to you because he knows that one thing might make you slip even further into depression.

"I am very proud of you." "Nick will be just fine, sweetheart." "I love you, so much." "You'll get though this, honey, it'll be okay."

He also wants you to talk about how you are feeling. Bradley has been to therapy before, as a kid, when things hit the fan with Mav, when his mom got sick, when he almost died on the Uranium Mission. He likes therapy and knows how important it is to talk about what you are feeling. So he just sits and listens to you talk about how you are feeling. He doesn't offer an advice like he's a doctor, he just listens to you and gives you affirmations on how proud he is that you can talk about what you are feeling and how it'll pass soon.

He's very much an act of service type of guy.

He's cleaning the house, doing laundry, making meals for you, drawing you a bath every night, bringing you medication, helping you set up your breast pump and freezing extra milk.

But beside doing just chores, he's also making sure that friends and family don't just show up unannounced. Like one time Mav and Penny showed up at the house and Rooster told them to leave. Any calls from your parents he is taking and telling them that you can't come to the phone and writing down messages for them.

He's keeping the family updated about the baby and not telling them about your depression because he doesn't want you to feel embarrassed by it. He's leaving it up to you if you want them to know or not.

He's also supporting you by letting you make the decisions. If you want him to touch you, or if you want him to do this, or if you want him to do that. Sometimes, you just don't know what you want, and that's okay, so Bradley will just sit with you in the quiet bedroom. Just silently letting you know that he's there for whatever it is you need.

Jake:

At first I think he doesn't understand what is going on with you. Going off the cannon that Jake doesn't deal with emotions well because of his parents, he might see your PPD as a very negative thing (WHICH IT IS NOT)

So when your doctor first tells you that you have PPD, Jake feels like the biggest asshole in the world. He turns to look at you with a shocked expression and then tries to put the math together on where he missed the signs.

so this kicks him into gear.

Like Rooster, Jake responds in acts of service, but it is more geared towards the baby. I think Jake is more comfortable around children, especially babies, than Bradley is.

Jake takes over the night feedings so you can get some rest. He keeps up with changing diapers and laundry. He'll take the baby during the day to go run some errands or go on walks so you can have time to just decompress in silence by yourself.

Unlike Rooster, he's not very big on the whole, let's talk and get this out sort of thing, so he's assurances to you are physical. It's a kiss on the forehead, or a hug, or a hand on your back, or running his fingers through your hair, or helping you wash yourself.

Jake says some affirmations but it's his typical "I love you," and "You're beautiful."

He's actually very interested in therapy, which shocks you. Jake has never gone to therapy in his life (even tho he could use it). But he wants to be able to help you through this tough time. He's open to sitting down with your doctor and hearing how to help you.

Because Jake doesn't handle emotion well, he relies on others to be his outlet when he gets overwhelmed. Usually that outlet is you, but he doesn't want to add more to your plate, so he confides probably in Penny or Phoenix or maybe even Rooster. They all give him some advice on how to help you and ways that he can help himself to not get too overwhelmed with a newborn and helping you through your PPD.

Jake struggles with patience, but it's something he learns throughout this whole thing. In the military everything is very cut and dry. You get told something, you do it. It's not a lot of guessing on what to do. But when it comes to you and your needs, Jake is kinda stumbling in the dark. He figures out that he just has to wait for your move on what you want. He struggles at first, and gets a bit pissy with you but after you called Phoenix in tears, he understood that he had to take things slow.

[xairathan]

It's midnight, I'm procrastinating, it's time to put out all the thoughts I've had about Yushura into a place where people who are interested can find them; and if anyone wants to write her but isn't willing to put in the effort then save yourself the trouble and keep my girl's name out of your mouth so you don't show the world your ignorance.

I'm not touching story-specific stuff; we're extrapolating things about Yushura's life and being off of logical deduction, disability consciousness, and the grounding of the great work and thoughts of many crips of color. We begin.

Starting off with something I think I didn't get to do in any of my works and that the setting utterly snubs: if care and disability aren't a focal point of spacian developments, then you know that the disabled spacians have figured out their own remedies and methods of care. The earthians will have as well, but given the resource disparity, I would be surprised if the two were connected. tl;dr - Disabled community almost certainly exists and we saw absolutely none of it in the setting with "unique challenges to the human physique endemic to expansion into space" nice job gwitch

Which leads into the next part: I believe that there's no real-world corollary to whatever Yushura's condition is. That fits in with what Cardo Nabo said in the prologue. From the clues we're given in the light novel, I have taken the stance that it's most likely an issue of the heart; if not the heart, then the lungs. The most likely causes I can envision are likely (a) exposure to low-gravity in the womb, (b) exposure to space radiation in the womb, and/or (c) long-term, multi-generational changes to the human physique due to life in space. There is also likely not one singular cause that is the 'source'; these factors together likely compound potential health issues. Finally, it can be inferred from Miorine's recollection of her and Yushura playing tag that Yushura was fully able-bodied at some point in the past, and her condition onset after they lost contact. This might play into Yushura's severe hangups about luck, especially if both her and her brother are predisposed to her condition, but it presented only in Yushura.

If you intend to take any of the above knowledge and employ it in a medicalist manner, stop while you're ahead, educate yourself on the medical vs. social vs. political-relational models of disability, and then come back.

With all of this taken into consideration, the following is my imagination of Yushura's life. If at any point in reading this you feel pity, check your ableism at the door and go write something more your speed, like suIemio.

Yushura prefers low-gravity environments, and likely lives in a low-gravity section of the Lapis Garden station, or else on a ship that travels at a set speed. My best guess is 0.5G (half of standard Earth gravity) but honestly, does it matter when we have no real way to test it? Due to living in low-gravity most of the time, Yushura has very little muscle mass. While she can (and probably should) exercise, perhaps it isn't necessary or perhaps she doesn't want to. I don't know how physical therapy in low-G works.

Due to working in low-G environments, and due to her weak grip, Yushura likely relies on many specialized tools for her work. I'm thinking custom gloves, magnetic strips on her worktable to hold things, things that make it easier for Yushura to work for long periods of time without straining her body. In the light novel, we see that Yushura is capable of cooking jelly/various gelatinous foods, which is likely her main source of food, as eating messy foods in low-G is asking for trouble. However, this does not mean she is incapable of eating solid food, and I imagine a CTO gets invited to a fair share of lunch and dinner outings for work.

Unfortunately, we do not know whether society in the Ad Stella universe, where the GUND format was originally created to assist with impairments, is ableist. However, given what we know of the setting, I presume that most corporate stations operate at 1G and space travel operates between 0-0.2G, meaning that as per real life, not very much thought is put into accessibility and the comfort of the disabled. Also I couldn’t find anywhere good to put this but my headcanon is that her earrings are secretly blood oximeters.

For further questions, story-related questions and discussions, and additional fawning over Yushura, please find me at Xairathan anywhere.

Also her last name is Mirzakhani (Iranian) and her first name is Yushura (Arabic) you can't tell me she's pasty white you colorist fucks I bet you liked Sumeru too

(in case anyone asks my tl;dr for her personality is we don't really get to see it since the narrative suborns literally everyone, even the main characters, to its runaway plot; however, I too would be tired of everyone's shit if everyone kept coddling me and assuming that they know my body better than myself)

[sseanettles]

nothing grows in corpses (in the earth of me)

dream x hob gadling | mature | Finally cross-posting my take on the fandom classic of the show progresses as the comics do, even to The Wake. Until Death resurrects Morpheus and forces the choice of "redemption" upon him instead of suicide. It goes...horribly. No good. Very bad. Instead of learning the lesson, Morpheus (in his infinite wisdom) opts instead for a highly effective existence strike until one day Hob Gadling stumbles upon his ghastly handiwork and immediately decides that this just won't do. Man Who Refuses To Die vs. Man Who Refuses To Live: fight.

Dead Dove, Do Not Eat for the following: graphic depictions of starvation, illness, suicidal ideation, self-harm, blood and gore, loss of autonomy, etc. etc. This is some classic old world whump, folks! But I promise it's also supremely healing in the end.

CH. 13: Elsa's song | 6 k | AO3 link | prev part | next part

(or: the one where recovery is not a linear beast.)

The next few weeks settled into a tenuous pattern. Constantine’s nurse kept up her end of the bargain, though not from any kind of free will as Hob quickly learned when he lingered around the corner after one of their weekly supply hand-offs, listening to the women as they bickered.

“You gettin’ cold feet on me now, Sandy?” Constantine pushed, backing the woman against the side of her battered car. “I think you’re forgettin’ how this works.”

“I’m not a fucking hospital, much less a pharmacy!” she pushed back, though her voice was far less fiery than the words it spoke. “I’m gonna lose my license, I—”

“Are you seriously complaining about malpractice? You?” Constantine demanded, almost outright laughing in her face. But when Sandy did not back down, feebly standing her ground, shaking head to toe all the while, Constantine nodded to herself. “Alright.” She jerked her thumb over her shoulder down the road. “I’ll just set that demon loose in your new ward, then.”

Sandy paled to a sheet.

“Wait!” she cried and chased after the departing exorcist. “Wait, stop—”

“You summoned the damned thing, not me. It’s not my fault,” she said without breaking pace and rounded on the woman as she grabbed hold of her coat and tried to pull her to a stop. She seized her by the arm and slammed her back-first into the wall, looming in her face. “Fucking go on,” she goaded. “See if I care about a bunch of old fucks staring at the walls like vegetables until they finally kick it. It’s better than the kids you fed it last time.” A heavy silence mounted between them, a kettle on the verge of blowing. “Try me.”

And Hob watched from around the corner as Sandy’s defiance wilted and rotted away to dust.

“Are we good?” Sandy nodded, not meeting her eyes. “Same time next week, then. I’ll text you what they need.”

Hob watched Constantine go. She never once looked back, and she walked with the stride of one unburdened by any guilt for the things she said or did.

Once, he would have envied her. But now…now, he did his best to just fear her.

Bandages, IV fluids and lines, antibiotics, lighter pain medications than what Hob had tried before, physical and occupational therapy routines, and resistance bands…anything and everything they could think of Constantine via Sandy procured. Various YouTube channels run by various disciplines of healthcare providers filled in the rest, and Gwen and Hob quickly discovered that between the two of them, Morpheus participated a touch more readily in the more involved things like physical therapy with Gwen. At first, Hob’s pride had smarted, but on reflection, it made a certain kind of sense. Gwen did not know Morpheus, had never known him.

It was easier to struggle and fail with her. Easier to fall on his face, easier for his joints to buckle and his lungs to heave with the lightest of exertions as his stomach turned on him and his coughs lasted so long that he began to pass out from the lack of air. It was easier to be helped to the bathroom in the early days of recovery by one who had no frame of reference for who he had once been and who did not rub salt into his wounds with her presence alone.

And Gwen had returned home after that first week. She had just needed some time to process, according to her, had needed to map out a few ground rules in her head before moving forward. For one: no half-naked women, property damage, blood, or dead bodies in the house without warning. None of the above ever was preferred, but she had resigned herself to adjusting her expectations at least for the short-term future.

If she was going to come home to a shit show, she had the right to know about it ahead of time.

For another: no talking animals while she was in the flat. Her brain was this close to breaking already. If Matthew was around when she was, he had to confine himself to raven noises only, thank you very much.

While Morpheus had been visibly wounded to hear the bit about Matthew, he had begrudgingly accepted her terms. Not that he had really had much of a choice, but the semblance of one mattered all the same.

Hob had given her so many massages in those weeks, and he had a couple different spa packages in his back pocket for future heavy days. He wished there wouldn’t be anymore, that healing from this point on would only get easier. But he knew better.

Recovery was not a linear thing.

o\\__oOoOoOo__//o

The first major relapse came about three weeks in. Morpheus had never truly recovered any kind of appetite; he still picked at his food more than he ate it. He was only slightly better at keeping up with his fluids and still relied quite heavily on the IV to keep him adequately hydrated. While the antibiotics had gone a long way to resolving the pneumonia, he still grew short of breath at even the slightest exertion, and when he did choose to speak, his sentences were punctuated every four or so words by a heavy, recovering breath.

But the one thing he did keep up with, as best as he could with the way he was neglecting himself in every other category, was his mobility.

Range of motion, weight bearing exercises, resistance bands, slowly increasing the very brief distances he struggled through in Gadling’s flat—he chipped away at it all, kept at it until his strength resembled more that of a schoolchild and less that of toothpicks and wet paper.

Gwen was delighted; in her eyes, this was a step in the right direction, a sign that their strange guest had turned at least one corner and had committed to his recovery. It was a sign that he would maybe yet not be a permanent fixture in their home, whether she would admit it or not.

It puzzled Hob.

He knew his stranger to be many things: stubborn, principled, utterly bone-headed at times in his drive to prove that he and he alone was right.

The one thing he knew him to not be was receptive to the notion that he had perhaps been mistaken and over-reacted and that he should actually listen to the counsel of others.

That was downright laughable.

A man who had let himself waste away into a breathing corpse purely to make a point did not just wake up one day and decide to live. That did not happen. Anywhere. Hob couldn’t think of even a single fairytale or folk story that went that way. And yet here he was, standing at the kitchen island as he finished grading his last paper and watching nervously as his Stranger finally tired at the window, set aside his book, removed the blankets from his legs, and rose unsteadily to his feet. He crossed the room back to his bed in similar, slow fashion, bracing himself along every surface he could reach as he did and using the infusing IV pole as a crutch all the way. But he made it back, even lowering himself to sit on the edge of the bed instead of getting partway down and collapsing the rest of the distance. His cheeks were flushed with the effort, his breaths heavy, and he looked to Hob as he pushed back his bangs that were just starting to reach his eyebrows once more. His nails were still fragile, but not as split and no longer infected, and the little scabs dotting his body had faded away to scars in most places and disappeared altogether in others.

“Satisfied?” Morpheus muttered in that backhanded manner of his, and Hob rolled his eyes as he fetched his friend his nightly cup of water. It was never touched when the morning came, but he liked to think he was laying the groundwork for a future habit.  

Harmless delusions like that were important to have.

“A grand marathon,” he threw back and set the glass on the coffee table beside him. “You need anything else?”

“No,” Morpheus shook his head. “I am…well, Gadling.” 

“I think well is overselling it a bit. You’re still breathing like a bad advertisement in a smoking kills campaign. Come on.”

Morpheus rolled his eyes but followed Gadling’s herding hands nonetheless to lay back in bed, drawing the blankets over himself with his own strength as had been increasingly common of late. A small smile pulled at Hob’s mouth as he watched him move, as he noted the already far decreased number of dressings taped about him and the shallower hollows within his cheeks and ribs.

Slow, but steady.

“Good to go?” he asked, reaching for the light switch as he headed for his own room, and Morpheus nodded his assent. “Goodnight, my friend. Sleep well.”

“Good…night.”

The room fell dark, and Hob hesitated for a moment amid the black, listening to his friend’s unsteady breaths as they gradually slowed before forcing himself to go to his own room.

For all intents and purposes, it had seemed a perfectly normal evening. Or at least, as close to their normal as their bizarre new lives could get.

So, when Hob awoke in a panic four hours later, at the blackest hour of the night, to the sound of some calamitous crash from beyond their bedroom and a harshly stifled scream of pain, it was the understatement of the century to say he had not been expecting it.

“What the fuck?!” Gwen yelped, scrambling for the lamp switch beside them, but Hob was already out of bed, sprinting for the living room.

“Stranger?!”

The bed was empty. The IV pump still stood beside it, still running happily away without a problem, but a small puddle of saline spread across the floor, seeping into the rug. Hob could see the pulled catheter at the center of it, tinged with blood, and he quickly scanned the rest of the flat, going to the kitchen and the knives first.

All there. Same with the hatchet and the fire pokers. The window was shut.

But the front door…

“Robbie!” Gwen was calling from the other room, stumbling from the bed herself, “what happened?!”

The front door was open.

“Fuck,” he hissed and ran for the landing.

Curled at the bottom of the stairs, wheezing and moaning in pain, laid Morpheus.

“Fuck,” Hob repeated, with greater feeling this time round, and ran down the stairs as quickly as he could manage in the dark, leaning into the banister all the way. “Stranger!”

Morpheus gritted his teeth against his burning tears and ground the heel of his one working hand into his eyes as he listened to Gadling hurrying to his side. It came away bloody, and he hid his battered face in the floor.

Useless. Weakling. You could not even manage to run away properly.

“Alright…you’re alright…”

I am not alright, you blundering fool! he wanted to snap as Gadling’s hands began their gentle assessment of his shivering body, starting with his head and spine. I am the furthest thing from alright. This is torture grander than the designs of hell, this is—

This was a refractured wrist, dislocated shoulder, a new laceration to his forehead and cheek where he had struck the edges of the steps, a bloody nose, several new bruises across his arms and legs and spine, at least one cracked rib, and a sizeable goose egg to the back of his head. Hob coaxed him onto his back, and his heart twisted at the way his friend threw his one good arm over his face, hiding from Hob’s eyes in the crook of his elbow as he fought to smother his shamed sobs.

“I’m going to have to reset the arm, my friend.”

Morpheus’ hand snapped from his head to Hob’s chest, scrabbling at his shirt, pleading.

“No—”

Hob caught his striking hand and forced him to still.

“It’s me or I call Constantine’s nurse.” He paused, holding Morpheus’ wide, fearful eyes. He seemed so much younger in the moonlight that spilled through the foyer window…so much paler. For a moment, the man beneath him seemed but a boy, and he thought of ebony black eyes and snow-white hair. “Which of us do you want?”

His answer came in closing eyes and a head turning away.

“I’ll be quick,” he promised.

From the landing upstairs, Gwen watched Robbie gently help Morpheus into a seat against the wall. He maneuvered his arm into position, and then there came a quick pull and a jerk followed by two nauseating pops as first the wrist and then the shoulder realigned. Morpheus cried out again through gritted teeth, and a new track of tears spilled down his cheeks.

“All done,” Hob soothed and ran his hand up and down Morpheus’ bruised side, trying to calm his hyperventilating breaths. “We’re all done.”

He tugged off his pullover and bound the garment around his friend’s chest, knotting and twisting the sleeves until he had fashioned a sturdy sling that kept the limb immobile and pressed close. And then, there was silence, punctuated only by Morpheus’ soft, shaking breaths and the quiet notes of pain that accompanied the end of each exhale. But by now, Hob knew better than to mistake this for the quiet of calm, of centering meditation. For the quiet of sanity. 

And when Morpheus made a sudden lurching bolt for the door, barely getting his legs under him, Hob was ready. He lunged after him and caught him around the middle before he could swan dive back into the tile.

“My friend, I am not here to keep you prisoner,” he protested and fought to wrangle the man back to the ground with him. “But you are not well!”

“I am well enough to walk—” Morpheus spat back, the words strung together in a rushing wheeze as he struggled to free himself. Hob dragged him back to the floor and pinned him in a seat against the wall with a single hand to his chest.

“You couldn’t even manage the stairs, you just fell your way down them!” he hissed in disbelief, shouting though his words were whispered still. “Where were you going? Where did you think—”

Morpheus shoved at him to no avail, and his eyes welled anew with frustrated, hateful tears as he shouted back his answer.

“Back to the alley!”

Hob went quiet. His hand slowly slipped from his friend’s chest as his own eyes began to glitter.

“I…I cannot be here,” Morpheus continued and tore at his clothes, his skin, at his lame arm with a mounting self-horror and hatred, and the tears slipped from his eyes in a steady, unnoticed stream. “This-this form, it is fragile, weak—this-this grotesque burden! It is despicable, I am desp—I cannot—”

Hob grabbed him mid-ramble and pulled him into a crushing embrace that stopped his thoughts mid-tailspin like a wall. And for a few heartbeats, they just sat there in silence, two grown men on a tiled floor bathed in moonlight at three in the godless morning.

“Let go,” Morpheus whispered.

“No.”

Morpheus tried to push at him, to wrench him away. A mouse would have had better luck moving a mountain.

“Let go of me, I command you—”

“Why?” Hob demanded as Morpheus continued to thrash against him, no care given now to his hyperventilating breaths or his new wounds as the blood spattered Hob’s shirt and smeared across his neck and jaw.

“No one touches me—” his Stranger snarled, desperate now, and Hob tightened his arms in a jostling wrench with one hand at the crown of his old friend’s head and the other wrapped about his back.

“I do!”

The ferocity in those two, snapped syllables knocked Morpheus back enough on his heels that Gadling forged ahead, his voice trembling but earnest and true.

“I carried you in my arms when you were more rot and death than life. I warmed your face against my throat. I bathed you. I tended your wounds. I fed you. I cleaned you.” He swallowed, took a few breaths, and pushed on. “I saw you at your absolute worst, and I loved you all the while.”

From the word loved on, even Morpheus went still.

“And yeah,” Hob wetly laughed and tucked his fingers into his friend’s hair, “you were grotesque. And you are a burden, let’s not pretend you aren’t. Especially because I know you put yourself in that alley.” Morpheus flinched. His hand curled into a trembling claw of a thing, shaking, as he tried not to touch anything, let alone Hob. “You dug that hole I found you in for yourself like there was oil or gold at the bottom and you only had a day to strike it. You are a self-destructive, cruel fuckin’ mess.”

Morpheus wanted to disappear. He wanted the earth to swallow him, wanted to be as good as dead beneath a blanket of snow and a frozen quilt, forgotten by the world.

“But we’re all burdens. That’s fucking life!” Hob snapped and shook him again, his voice nearing the breaking point. “And I am hugging you like if I let go the world’s gonna end because you are my friend, and I love you all the same.”

Morpheus’ eyes went wide, and he scarcely breathed. His hand slowly began to drift down.

“I loved you as a demon,” Hob continued when he was sure his words wouldn’t fray apart into croaking tears. “As a fae lord…as some inscrutable cosmic…thing. I loved you as a shroud.” The edge of Morpheus’ palm settled on Gadling’s hip, and the man sucked in a sharp, quaking breath as he pushed on. “I loved you as a pain in the arse who lives on my sofa. And I love you right now as the stuck-up, arrogant idiot who just threw himself headfirst down the stairs because how dare somebody see him as less than beautiful and perfect and untouchably all-powerful.”

And in the silence that followed Gadling’s mighty declaration, the kind of words that would have wreaked havoc on the Dreaming for an age and now echoed only in the foyer of a Richmond flat, Morpheus’ broken head sagged heavily upon his shoulder. His hand tipped to settle fully against Hob’s hip before slipping into a hesitant return embrace.

Surrender; at long last, surrender.

Hob’s shirt grew damp with blood and silent tears, and he blinked swiftly at the ceiling, fighting to keep himself together.

“I did not ask for this,” Morpheus gritted into him.

Hob closed his eyes as if struck, and before he could think better of it, he pressed a fleeting, comforting kiss to the man’s temple before pressing his head a bit more firmly to his Stranger’s. He ran his fingers a little deeper into his hair and closed his eyes with a heavy, heavy sigh as he felt Morpheus sag into him a little more at the tenderness.  

“I know,” he murmured and ran his other hand along the knobs of his aching spine. “But you’re here now. We both are. And we both have to make do with what we’ve been handed.”

After a while, Gadling began to pull away, and when it seemed Morpheus was going to let him go, he sat back on his heels and held his friend at arm’s length.

“Hey.” He ever so gently chucked his bruised chin, guiding him to meet his eyes. “You don’t ever have to pretend with me. If you really, truly want to go out that door, I won’t stop you.” God, but his eyes looked so tired…so worn through. “I mean, I will think you’re an idiot, and I will wait until you’re senseless on the ground again in whatever alley you pick next and then just bring you right back home to do this all over again,” he said as if it should be obvious, “but I won’t stop you. I’ll do this as many times as you need. I’ve got nothing but time.” He ran his hand up and down Morpheus’ good arm and tried to catch his eye again as, eventually, it slipped from his. “Can we go back upstairs, love?”

Morpheus shivered. There it was again.

Love.

He gave a weary nod, not quite meeting Gadling’s eye, and allowed the man to help him back to his feet. Hob pulled his friend’s good arm over his shoulders while his own slipped around that boney waist to help him on each wobbling step up the stairs.

When Hob looked up, Gwen was gone from the landing.

“Y’know,” he huffed as they made their slow ascent. “I was going to give you a hug back in 1889. When I said you were lonely.”

Morpheus swallowed and took a few breaths before answering.

“I suspected.”

There was a pause.

“Bit easier to run out of a pub than a flat, isn’t it?” The look Morpheus shot him from his bruise-swelling eyes could only be translated as oh fuck you, and Hob laughed, rubbing his thumb along his hip in comfort as they continued upward. “Come on, mate.”

When they reached home once more, Gwen was nowhere to be seen. The bed had been tidied and prepared once more for sleep, and the first aid kit had been laid out on the coffee table: a suture set, stack of gauze pads, roll of tape and tube of antibiotic ointment already set aside.

The door to their bedroom was closed once more, and once he’d gotten Morpheus squared away once more, settling him back in bed with his menagerie of wounds dressed anew and setting aside the now useless IV pole and pump, he retreated into the waiting, frosty dark. He changed his clothes in silence, and when he climbed into bed, he could tell plainly from the tension in Gwen’s weight upon her side of the mattress that she was wide awake.

“I’m really sorry, love,” he said after a time. “I know you have your big lecture tomorrow, and—”

Gwen rolled over.

“It’s fine.”

Hob turned after her.

“It’s not.” She said nothing, and her silence spoke volumes. Hob released a quiet sigh. “We’ll talk tomorrow. I love you.”

For a while, so long that Hob was sure she wasn’t going to say anything at all to him, Gwen was quiet.

“I know,” she finally whispered and pulled a second pillow over her silk-wrapped head. “Don’t forget to wake up early to clean up any blood he left on the stairs and in the foyer.”

Message received.

“…Yeah. Won’t forget.” Hob’s chest ached, and he turned away, adjusting his pillow at an angle so he could wrap his arms partially about it while still burying his head into its depths.

When sleep took him, he awoke in an idyllic field beneath a towering oak tree on a fine summer day. Morpheus laid beneath him, bloodied and broken, just as he laid in his living room now though without the care of stitches or slings, and he held Hob’s horrified eyes with a listless emptiness. The flowers wilted. The grasses died. And the ground turned to hard-packed permafrost that spread from his Stranger’s body like a mold, consuming him and all around them. Hob could only watch as the ice spread into his own flesh and bone where they touched and froze him into place like some sort of grotesque statue as he tried too late to pull away.

And once Morpheus’ chill robbed from him the last of his freedom, his Stranger’s hand slowly raised to his ice-carved features. His fingers brushed his cheeks like tiny daggers, caressing the line of his nose, his brows, following the path of his cheekbones to his jaw and finally his lips. Hob yearned to shudder but could not so much as blink or even breathe as his Stranger’s nails lengthened and their touch trailed down his neck, over his collarbones, to wait upon his chest.

Please, he wanted to beg— (please, yes? please, no?) Mercy.

And Hob howled in silence as Morpheus’s hand dug in, titanium fingers crushing his ribs, tearing through cartilage and flesh. He wanted at the least to close his eyes, to not see his own crimson spilling down Morpheus’ arm or the expression on his face as he dug. But he could not, and the icy grip pushed and groped ever further into him until it found what it sought.

It curled around his frantically beating heart…

His Stranger smiled that sly, mean smile of old.

…and then ripped.

Gadling could do nothing but stare with frozen eyes as his lifeblood poured in a crystallizing spatter atop his friend, and everywhere the scalding blood touched, Morpheus’ skin began to thaw. His dark head fell back in ecstasy, the color returning, the life glowing once more in his eyes as he clutched Hob’s still-beating heart in his hand.

Gadling felt himself grow colder. And colder. And colder….

And Morpheus moved, leaning up to him with a bloodstained mouth that pressed hungrily to his own, to his neck, and Dream’s voice of old purred against his ear like a starved cat presented with an endless feast.

“Thank you…” Those resonant tones amplified, and a voice Hob felt he should know yet could not recall having ever heard grinned in redoubled volume atop Morpheus’, “my love.”

The hands tore back into him, prying him apart to make a home, and Hob’s silence screamed and screamed.

Gwen dreamed of gardening. She tended the bountiful yard of a nice house back in North Carolina that she owned, where she was close to all her friends and family and never had to look at another talking animal or hear the title “of the Endless” ever again for the rest of her very long natural life.

In the living room, Morpheus watched the hearth’s embers dwindle to coal and did what he did most nights.

He lost himself in thought and bell jar silence and did not stray anywhere near the land of dreams. He released the effort it took to listen in this mortal plane, allowed the tightness in his neck to relax, and traded his tension headache for the dull constancy of a concussion and the throb of his pulse in his newly sutured forehead. His left eye was nearly bruised shut, and he adjusted the lay of the ice pack to the back of his head as he considered next steps.

His plan for a quick escape in the night had, obviously, failed, and at his current rate of recovery, it was a decreasingly viable plan overall. And in the light of Gadling’s rather melodramatic proclamation, it felt especially cruel to drag his weary body to the kitchen or the window and attempt to end things himself. His sister of course, would not come. But his demise would butt against her domain, would announce his commitment to his decision far more poignantly than any fragmented sentence he could gasp out, and that was his only intent.

But then, Gadling would have to clean up the results of his handiwork, or worse Guinevere. They would have to patch him together once more like that asinine children’s rhyme, knowing he would just do it again and again and again, and the cycle would continue. It was hardly kind or considerate, but then again, Morpheus had never pretended to be either.

…Perhaps he could hide a paring knife in the bathroom tonight. Then, at his next bath, he could take advantage of the privacy and the containment the tub provided and slit his wrists beneath the warm water. It would be easier for Gadling to clean. He would, ostensibly, just need to open the drain, douse the porcelain in bleach, and then—

“My, my,” someone crooned from the window bench. “I should call my dearest twin here for the mood in that mind.”

It was a subtle thing, the way Morpheus’ already flat expression turned to stone and his eyes to steel. But turn, they did, and when his battered skull pivoted upon his neck to glower at the entity that lounged in the moonlight—clad only in a long, flowing black robe of silk and lace and feather that spilled about their bared legs and down to the floor like ink—they only grinned back at him with a smile as sharp as knives.

“Hello, Morpheus,” Desire purred.

“What do you want?” he asked, and what had once been a disdainful demand in a life now passed was little more than a frightened whisper.

Desire laughed, cold and ringing and as playful as the bedroom, and laced their fingers together as they allowed their spine to bend, and they stretched their joined arms above their head toward the ground as they rolled languidly onto their back. The window seemed to grow with them, the bench transforming to a fainting couch and then a bed that they sprawled within. Their bare feet played at the glass, their toes painted red to match their lips, and left fogged footprints behind.

A throne for the reigning victor.

“What do you want is the better question,” they leered, upside-down, and rolled onto their stomach to rest their chin upon the cradle of their fingers. Their golden eyes gleamed like fire as they shifted from Morpheus’ carefully still frame to Hob’s bedroom door. Their grin widened from Cheshire cat to hungry wolf. “Or even better, what does he want.” They drew upright like a cobra, like a lion at the head of their pride, and pointed to Morpheus with a sharp-tipped finger in playful scold. “You hid him from me, brother, but no longer. Such delicious things are happening in that brain of his tonight and all of it mine.”

“Don’t.”

“Don’t?” Desire laughed at the piteous objection, and they swung their legs over the edge of the bed with a dancer’s brutal swiftness, sweeping to their feet. “That’s all you have to say to me?”

Desire was smaller than him. It was not by much, a couple inches perhaps, but for the entirety of their existences, they had always been forced to look slightly up at him. Here, now, they were the one who towered, and Morpheus could do little else but watch them come, their every move sultry and fluid and dangerous.

“No posturing?” they needled as they soon reached his bedside. “No threats of ending me or raining down ruin? Just one…” They mounted the bed and drew closer still, “pitiful…little…don’t?”

Morpheus struggled as far back as he could in his newly injured state, balking before Desire’s advances until he was pressed to the sofa’s back; his head turned away, and his eyes cast to the floor as he tried to calm. Desire loomed above him, straddling his legs, and leaned down as they peered at their fallen brother’s sad state. “Well,” they purred after a time, sneering. “I suppose that’s all you can manage right now, isn’t it? Tch…”

Morpheus jumped as Desire’s nails caressed their way up his throat to hook him by the underside of his jaw and drag his head to face them.

“Look at you,” they chided with a pouting frown that spread all too easily into another cruel smile. “The things you do to yourself.”

He swallowed and swore their nails drew blood. “Desire,” he hoarsely whispered, only just keeping himself from outright pleading, and they rolled their eyes with a groan.

They released their hold in a put-upon flick of their wrist and picked at his hair next as his head tipped with a pained wince.

“I’ll leave him be…” they sighed, and they waited until they saw the flash of relief in Morpheus’ swollen eyes before allowing another mischievous smirk to curl their painted lips. Their hand returned to his jaw in a clamping flash that dug their nails into his hollow cheeks and had him startling with a grunt of pain. “For now. But you’ll have to do something for me first.”

Morpheus thought of Desire’s talons sunk into Gadling’s mind and body, thought of the man’s gluttony at the mercy of their destructive cruelty, and set his jaw against Desire’s grip.

“Name it,” he growled, for a moment the Morpheus of old.

Desire’s smile turned victorious. They leaned close, holding him in place by the jaw as their lips neared his ear. Their breath was hot on his skin, their scent overwhelming, and Morpheus braced himself for their price as they whispered….

“Fucking…eat.”

His mind grated, ground, and utterly broke.

“What,” he said. The blindsided word hardly registered as a question, and Desire looked directly into his eyes, still holding him in that throttling grip.

“I am tired of your rotted bones haunting my halls like some kind of putrid ghost,” they snapped, and Morpheus could only stare in utter bewilderment. “Start eating. Start drinking. Start sleeping. Start fantasizing. I don’t care what order you do it in, but you better start doing it tonight, because if you don’t—”

Morpheus’ voice strengthened even as his ability to comprehend what was happening with this conversation unspooled like a runaway ball of yarn.

“What,” he repeated, and Desire swatted him upside the head.

“Hunger is just a facet of desire, you shit. All of this,” they gestured to his mess of a body, “is you being arrogant enough to think you can self-immolate your way back into our big sister’s good graces. But guess what, my lord? Death’s not listening. My twin has had her fill. You’ve been knocking about in the wrong kingdom, and I have had it. I—”

They caught themselves with a deep, composing breath, and when they resumed, it was at their usual cadence.

“Start eating. Start sleeping,” they ordered, and their tone, too, began to soften until it returned to their natural, predatory purr. “Or else…” Their eyes slid from their brother’s to something off to their right, and they turned his head with them to look to Gadling’s bedroom door. “…I make all your appetites uncontrollable.”

 …They wouldn’t.

“You’d just absolutely shatter loyal little Guinevere’s heart. Hell, maybe the rest of her, too,” Desire continued and bit by bit released their grip on Morpheus’ jaw as they watched him somehow pale further beneath the fresh bruises and wounds. “As you well know, you always get what you want when it comes to lust…or you destroy what stands in your way to get it.” Desire was no longer touching him, but still his head stayed turned, his eyes transfixed on the heavy door and the people who slumbered innocently on beyond it. “And Gadling…” They laughed and slipped from the bed to peruse the kitchen, lingering at the fruit bowl. “Oh, that one would bow for you so fast it embarrasses even me,” they leered and made their selection, “and we both know that you never leave much behind once you’ve satisfied the hunt.”

He thought of Gwen helping him down the hall to the bathroom and guiding him through therapy exercises. He thought of Gadling tending his wounds and studiously tracking each one’s healing. He thought of their endless patience and kindness, and Gadling’s kiss seared his temple in the cooling night, his arms firm about him as he relentlessly pursued his own destruction.

Desire wouldn’t, he begged.

But Desire would. He knew they would, and they would laugh the whole while, delighting in their destruction and cruelty as this flat tore itself apart. He turned from Gadling’s room and looked up at his sibling beside him as they returned, hiding something behind them all the way. And as they read in his eyes the resignation and hatred, they knew they had won.

They presented a banana from behind their back with the single most juvenile smirk on their face. After a moment, Morpheus snatched it from them, and their expression sobered to something that was almost grim approval as, glaring all the way, he ate the entire thing.

“About time.”

[bananahoneycomb]

You know how you can get a clue about where an author is or isn't from from specific words or terms they use? Well, with the high number of injuries requiring medical care and rehab in Stranger Things, PT/Physical Therapy vs. physiotherapy is the one that stands out to me in Steddie.

It's not a knock in anyway. I find it fun.

[doggboyy]

how do you tell between body memories and somatic flashbacks from cptsd (ramcoa/programming specifically) vs tactile hallucinations that were never real and persecutory delusions that people intentionally grouped together to sadistically s/a / abuse and torture me with others originating from schizophrenia? asking for a friend (me)

Body memories include a range of experiences, one is which are somatic flashbacks;

(literally just google searches) With tactile hallucinations & ''memory delusions'', it does get more complicated. I kinda sound like a broken record at this point, but Therapy It kinda sucks to say, but you Can't tell if it's real(assuming there's no other outside evidence, Only the memories), if you have a history of delusions(i figured you have schizophrenia based on the ask), and have reasonable suspicion that your memories are a result of delusions, this is something you should have the end target of getting serious help for. There's also a Lot of other factors, too; Is there physical evidence of things you remember experiencing, do you have other c-ptsd symptoms, do you have a history of (memories/physical feelings) you believe to be, or have been proven as, delusions and/or hallucinations, are you already on antipsychotic medication that Works, list goes on etc etc This doesn't seem very helpful, but i hope it can still be of some use ^^

[beyondthebloodsugar]

Understanding the Difference: Type 1 vs Type 2 Diabetes

When it comes to diabetes, many people often feel confused about the differences between Type 1 and Type 2. It's like trying to tell apart two siblings who look similar but behave differently. Let's break it down in a simple way.

What Is Type 1 Diabetes?

Type 1 diabetes is like a surprise party that nobody wants. This type happens when the immune system mistakenly attacks the insulin-producing cells in the pancreas. So, what’s insulin? Think of it as a key that opens the door for sugar (glucose) to enter your cells for energy. Without insulin, sugar just lingers in your blood, leading to high blood sugar levels.

Type 1 diabetes usually hits younger people, often in childhood or early adulthood. It’s not about lifestyle or diet; it’s an autoimmune condition that needs insulin therapy for management. People with Type 1 must regularly monitor their blood sugar and take insulin shots or use an insulin pump.

What Is Type 2 Diabetes?

Type 2 diabetes is like the friendly neighbor who becomes less friendly over time. This type occurs when the body either doesn’t use insulin well or doesn’t produce enough of it. It’s often linked to lifestyle factors like being overweight, not exercising, and poor eating habits.

Unlike Type 1, Type 2 can develop at any age but is more common in adults. Sometimes, people can manage it with lifestyle changes or medication. However, some may require insulin if the condition worsens. Managing Type 2 often requires a more proactive approach, like changing diets and incorporating exercise.

Key Differences Between Type 1 and Type 2 Diabetes

Cause and Onset

The root cause is one of the biggest differences. Type 1 is an autoimmune condition, while Type 2 is mainly influenced by lifestyle. Type 1 develops quickly, often in childhood or young adulthood, and Type 2 usually creeps in slowly, often appearing later in life.

Symptoms

Although symptoms overlap, they can show up differently. Type 1 symptoms might appear suddenly and include excessive thirst, frequent urination, and extreme fatigue. On the flip side, Type 2 symptoms might develop gradually and can include blurred vision, slow healing wounds, and tingling sensations.

Treatment Methods

Type 1 diabetics must use insulin as part of their daily routine. There’s no cure, but insulin helps manage blood sugar levels. For Type 2, treatment can start with lifestyle changes and may progress to oral medications or insulin if needed.

Who's at Risk?

Type 1 diabetes doesn’t have clear risk factors, but having a family history can increase chances. Meanwhile, Type 2 diabetes is often linked to risk factors like age, obesity, family history, and physical inactivity. It’s like the difference between being born into a family of athletes versus being raised in a couch-potato household.

Final Thoughts

In a nutshell, Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes involve the body's relationship with insulin but are unique in their causes, onset, and treatment. Understanding these differences is crucial for managing each condition effectively. Whether it’s Type 1 or Type 2, staying informed is the key to controlling diabetes and leading a healthy life. It’s all about knowing your body and what it needs!

[mothmammoth]

No pressure if not, but do you happen to have any links/resources for that fatique management program that talks ab the sleep vs. rest thing? Google hasnt been a lot of help aside from pop science blogs and Tumblr wouldnt let me search your blog to see if you already posted something like this 😭😭

No specific links I'm afraid!

I live in the UK, and it was an NHS program recommended to me by my GP. If you're also in the UK then all I can say is to ask your doctor about it.

We had a series of six zoom meetings with two medical professionals and a bunch of us Long Covid people. One general doctor and one therapist. Kind of like a group therapy kind of thing?

We got an information packet thing that we went through and filled out over the course of the meetings. I'm afraid it's been over a year since then though so it's probably been thrown out. 😔

What I do remember is that we did like, a daily time sheet, logging our periods of activity. The categories were:

Sleep (sleep)

High activity (generally any like, physical activities)

Low activity (more low-key activities, including solely mental ones like puzzles, video games, anything making you Think About Stuff)

Rest (Do Nothing/Think Nothing time)

The idea was that we were trying to identify our own baselines for activity - the amount of stuff we could do without triggering post-exertional malaise. Also if we were actually getting enough rest throughout the day where we weren't actively using energy!

If you figure out your baseline, then you can head off getting into a 'peaks and troughs' pattern of overstretch -> crash -> feel better -> overstretch -> crash.

For rest, we were taught a variety of different relaxation and meditation techniques in the hopes that at least one of them might resonate with us. 'Rest' time doesn't have to be in like, solid blocks! They actually recommended to like, take breaks from whatever we might be doing maybe every 20 minutes or half hour and then just spend 5 minutes chilling, haha.

All of this is easier said than done of course. I have ADHD so turning my brain off for rest is uhhh Not Easy lmao.

Hope that helps?

[justinnault]

True Masculinity Unveiled, How Misunderstanding Masculinity Harms Your Health

In a society where masculinity often gets misrepresented, many men find themselves caught in the web of “traditional” ideals that don’t necessarily serve their well-being. The impact of these outdated views can reach far beyond one's self-perception, leading to serious consequences for both physical and mental health. It’s time to bust some myths and discover a healthier, balanced approach to masculinity.

Understanding the Health Risks of Misinterpreted Masculinity

Men who strictly adhere to conventional masculine ideals often shy away from seeking help, even when they need it most. Studies show that behaviors like risk-taking, excessive alcohol consumption, and drug use are frequently linked to “being a real man.” But this mindset can be dangerous. As a nutritional therapist, I want to guide you through the process of redefining masculinity in a way that supports your physical and mental well-being.

Myth vs. Reality: What True Masculinity Looks Like

Myth: Seeking help is a sign of weakness.

Reality: Asking for help is an act of courage. It demonstrates self-awareness and a commitment to self-care.

Myth: Real men don’t show vulnerability.

Reality: Vulnerability allows you to connect on a deeper level and build trust with others, which is essential for strong relationships.

Myth: Masculinity is about toughness, both physically and emotionally.

Reality: True strength includes emotional intelligence and the ability to express oneself.

Q&A: Embracing True Masculinity for Health

Q1: How can redefining masculinity improve my mental health? Toggle to see the answer. Embracing a balanced view of masculinity means letting go of the notion that men need to bottle up emotions. By acknowledging and processing emotions, you reduce stress and anxiety, which positively impacts mental health. Research indicates that men who seek support for mental health issues experience significantly lower rates of depression.

Q2: Does avoiding risky behaviors actually impact my physical health? Toggle to see the answer. Yes, absolutely. Risky behaviors, such as unprotected sex, excessive alcohol use, and drug consumption, not only harm your body but also lead to chronic conditions and even life-threatening diseases. By understanding that taking care of your health doesn’t make you any less masculine, you’re prioritizing long-term well-being.

Q3: What role does nutrition play in redefining masculinity? Toggle to see the answer. Nutrition is foundational to physical and mental health. When you nourish your body, you’re taking a step toward self-respect and health, which aligns with true masculinity. Proper nutrition supports energy levels, mental clarity, and resilience.

Practical Steps for a Balanced Approach to Masculinity

Seek Help When Needed Whether you need medical advice, therapy, or simply a friend to talk to, never hesitate to reach out. True masculinity includes knowing when to ask for help.

Adopt Healthier Habits Focus on habits that align with your wellness goals. Reduce alcohol consumption, avoid harmful substances, and engage in regular exercise.

Redefine Your Inner Strength Strength is not solely physical. Embrace mindfulness practices, journal your thoughts, and allow yourself to process emotions in a healthy way.

About Justin Nault: Your Guide to Wellness

Justin Nault is a Certified Nutritional Therapist with a deep background in nutrition, fitness, and human metabolism. As the founder and CEO of Clovis, and creator of the Clovis Daily Superfood Powder, Justin has helped over 2,500 people find a balanced approach to health. His work redefines health and fitness, aiming to create sustainable change through holistic nutrition and wellness.

Start Your Journey Today!

Are you ready to embrace a more balanced, healthier approach to masculinity? Watch our video for in-depth insights and practical tips to start redefining masculinity for a better life. Let’s shift the narrative together and explore the power of true masculinity!

[phladydoor]

Alright. Time to talk about my TIT experience.

This is not really about the show itself. This is about me and my health and the shit I had to do to get myself in that seat tonight.

TL;DR: I’m disabled and had to work extremely hard to be at the show and I’m proud of myself and I’m yappin about it!!!!

Okay now for the long-winded version.

When my friend grabbed us tickets back in June, I was just starting the process of addressing a mobility issue that had completely altered my life in recent years.

I have chronic back pain. It came on very suddenly and severely one day a little over two years ago now and it has been an uphill battle to receive the care I need ever since. I can walk only short distances and stand for only a few minutes before needing to sit and rest. It is debilitating and isolating and painful.

But still, I told my friend to get me a ticket. I had four months to prepare. I had faith in my brand new physical therapy team and spine doctor. Four months seemed like such a long time back then.

Things did not go as planned. Physical Therapy was overwhelming and difficult. I pushed myself to my limits, trying desperately to make it work. I blamed myself when I plateaued. The spine doctor said we should consider other options.

The first other option was a series of nerve ablations. The procedures would potentially reduce my pain level and allow me to return to physical therapy with better results. We started the process, but things moved slower than I’d hoped. Two weeks ago I was supposed to have my final test procedure before the real deal. My insurance denied it on a technicality. They will likely continue to deny it even upon appeal. I will have to return to my doctor to discuss the next other option.

So there I was. 14 days out from TIT and with my back barely better than it was when the tickets were purchased. I was facing down the very real possibility that I would not make it to the theatre. I spent a lot of time sobbing in therapy sessions, lamenting my limitations, and asking “why me?”

I talked to friends (there’s nothing better to alleviate a shame spiral) who encouraged me to look into mobility aids that could help me get to the show. I want to make it clear — never once have I judged another person for the use of a mobility aid. There is simply nothing worth judging about someone using a tool to make their life easier. But, when it came to accepting my own disability, I will admit that I had been resistant to the idea of using one. Not to get too in the weeds, but I’m in a larger body and the stigma associated with a fat person using a mobility aid vs a thin person? Is a very different beast.

But I did purchase one - a cane I could lean on that can also be transformed into a stool when I need to sit and rest.

I spent hours researching the venue — finding our seats via Google map and planning when and where I could take a rest on my cane/stool (my stane? My cool?). I would forgo the merch line. I’d have my friend drop me off at the wheelchair ramp before parking the car so I could get into the theatre without needing to take multiple flights of stairs.

Another fun little medical issue I deal with is chronic anemia, and let me tell you. I cannot recommend it. There is nothing quite like the wave of nausea that hits you when you’re desperately trying to catch your iron-poor, de-oxygenated breath. So I knew I would have to take things slow, and I checked in with my friend a week before to make sure they knew what support I might need.

I’m rambling now. I am, much like Dan, a catastrophic yapper. The point is I tried my very hardest to attend to every variable. I wanted to go to this tour so goddamn bad.

Going to see this show is the first thing I’ve done for myself in two years that isn’t about shouldering the burden of my condition all by myself. I have struggled with codependency in the past (what hasn’t this bitch struggled with, you ask yourself) and as such I spend a lot of time trying to be independent at the cost of… well… everything else. It’s a problem. I’m aware. I swung from codependency to refusing to ask for help even when it’s reasonable.

But that’s what this night had to be all about — leaning on friends. I had to communicate my needs. I had to put my health and my joy first. I had to push past the shame of existing in my current body.

And I did. I fucking did it.

I’m so sore and my back hurts and on the way out I did very nearly puke from the anxiety and the aforementioned anemia nausea. But it doesn’t matter. Because I used my little cane and took the space I needed and utilized my support system and I watched two gay idiots be so gay and such idiots on stage for multiple hours and I had fun!!!!!! And I did it for myself!!!!

I doubt myself frequently and often automatically. I grew up in a family who made me feel incapable of doing anything right. I was infantilized and dismissed and ignored. And tonight I was the person little me needed me to be. Tonight I fucking did it. I am so proud of myself and so happy I pushed through all this bullshit to see those gay men dance.

[bonefall]

since you did a guide for deaf/hearing loss, could you do one for blind cats maybe?

I plan to! I have a huuuge list of herb guides to do lmaoooo. Unfortunately there is only one me, and I also deal with college and other adult bullshit. PLUS all the other projects I run on this blog, like BB, Clanmew, the Clan Culture series, etc etc etc

Short list of herb guides I want to do;

Corrective Procedure Physical therapy for bone and muscle degeneration, several fixable birth defects, wobbly cat syndrome, etc.

Surgery 101 The sorts of invasive techniques cats can do using my basic Clan Culture expansions, how to create stitches, wound care including puffball mushrooms and how to identify "cob" webs vs "weaver" spider webs, how to prevent infection, etc.

Poisons Just like... poisons broadly. What "deathberries" are and how yew works, nightshade, foxglove, beating Alderheart's ridiculous yewberry antibiotics with my fists like a chimpanzee, etc

Invasion Theory lads, I have to confess, I decided to make my own version of a pre-scientific method medical theory. You've heard of Humor Theory and Miasma Theory, WELL, I actually worked out a basic philosophy of medicine for Clan cats. Invasion Theory; the idea that all illness is a result of internal battles against external forces.

The Other Sensory Disabilities Y'know. Vision impairments, scent impairments, whiskersense impairments, maybe taste impairments too in tandem with an entry on the Jacobson's Organ and how exactly THAT functions (I have a clanmew entry on this im working on but since a lot of my followers aren't Clanmew Fanatics maybe I should do two entries on this...)

Chronic pain The sorts of pain that doesn't go away, how to manage it, what usually causes it, etc.

Oral hygiene Do you want to learn how to make a toothbrush? ill show you

Allergies

Plus, I would love to touch-up my aaaaancient HRT herb guide. I'm still proud of it, but I can do better now. Same with the Epilepsy guide. There's also a combined herb guide/clanmew expansion on parasites and the medicinal uses of leeches and maggots in my drafts I'm still playing with.

But first, I worked on the Hearing Loss guide for like two weeks and I want to draw Breezepelt

[wuxiaphoenix]

On Characters: Traumatic Backstory

I have to admit, I tend to give my main characters trauma. First off because if you’re a hero you’ve probably been the nail sticking up in regular life too, and that tends to have consequences of the hammer-shaped variety. Second... well. Is there anyone reading this who hasn’t been traumatized by something? It’s kind of endemic to the human experience. Bad things happen, and sometimes they happen to you.

The trick is to walk that tightrope. To make sure your character neither comes across as a helpless traumatized victim nor a stone-cold emotionless stoic who sees loved ones murdered in front of them and writes it off as just another Tuesday. Trauma shapes your character. But it doesn’t define them.

To give you an example, I’m building the backstory for Sionnach, the druid in the Druid vs. Zombies idea. I don’t know yet who exactly was at war with whom, but she is a veteran... as a medic. She may have had some offensive magic, but mostly she worked in the equivalent of a MASH. Druid powers to shape plants, earth, and stone were incredibly useful in setting up and maintaining field hospitals. Druid magic in relation to animals can also be handy to keep off scavengers that would bring pests and infection....

And was completely useless against a divine locust plague sent by an enemy cleric, because the locusts were effectively magical constructs. Sionnach could raise physical and magical barriers against them to protect herself and... some of the patients. She couldn’t stop them.

Traumatic? You bet. Does she have nightmares? Does she ever.

But most of her life Sionnach lives like a lot of other trauma survivors live. Basically, that part of my life sucked, I’m over here doing Something Else, and let’s let sleeping dogs lie. Some people might call it denial. To someone who’s gone through trauma, it’s more... that part of life isn’t relevant, day to day? Dwelling on the past is one of the fastest ways to get trapped in it, and that dark way self-harm and harm to others lies.

Should she get therapy? Eh. Who has the time and resources for that when there’s so much work to do? Assuming there are any therapists who would actually help manage the trauma, instead of try to either downplay it or dig it deeper because of their own grudges against the enemy kingdom that attacked them.

Of course, our bad guy with his zombie horde and his grudge against said cleric will bring up the whole mess all over again. Meaning part of the story struggle will be Sionnach versus all those horrible memories, and fighting to act with rational thought rather than howl and break things.

May not be just her. I suspect a fair number of people are in a border town like Quarrytown for the same reasons a lot of people headed West after the American Civil War.

(Hmm. That actually brings new light on making caryatids, animated statues would be excellent swarm-smashers....)

Consider what your characters have been through before the story starts. Odds are something bad happened to them; from the queen bee of their high school setting them up to be humiliated, all the way up through near-death experiences. If you have a character with heroic willpower, they won’t be thinking of that trauma all the time! It’ll leak out in small ways; not trusting a woman with a certain hairstyle or laugh, avoiding dark alleys, looking for an excuse to start a fight before someone else stabs you in the back. The trauma is always there.

It’s just not always obvious.

Your job, as the writer, is to paint that trauma as part of being human, and show how heroes - how anyone - can go on to still be good people regardless. Your readers will appreciate it!