#philo imagine

[lovelaughsimp]

me and Xavier core :3

[eepyracc]

Lnds fandom.. how are we feeling 🧍‍♀️

Because I for one, am absolutely losing it

[samaspic31]

Rationally i know the friction i feel being back to being confronted daily to viewpoints and worldviews completely different than my own, sometimes completely divorced from statistic reality and deeply entrenched in mainstream biases and pernicious conservative rhetoric at uni (tho i can’t stand when it comes from professsors holding it as normal and neutral)(and it’s not like there are no divergences in my family or in my friendgroup), in dating, meeting new people, and on the internet, seeing art betraying biases i oppose to, sharing space with bigots is necessary to keep being grounded in reality.

On the other hand it feels like there are oceans of incomprehension between each and every person in this world, that i feel even while talking to or seeing art by people with extremely similar experiences as me, even with people with similar political ideas, the amount of bigotry to tackle in the world feels overwhelming, and im having constant paralyzing existencial crisis and worrying about environmental practices and structural inequality caused by capitalism and it’s. Not Fun.

There’s been many a study on alternative cultures and people joining them for merely shallow rebelious aesthetic reasons (hello to my friend’s « former punk » controlling dad spewing sexist victim blaming bullshit), and being alt doesn’t make you a good person, but man i wish some queer, vegan, punk and zero waste statements like « respecting people’s boundaries is crucial » « nobody gets to determine someone else’s gender » « gender stereotypes and language are human constructs people get to redefine for themselves, assuming someone to be any gender identity, or to have certain sexual roles because of their adoption of some socially gendered codes is bad » « gender and racial stereotyping in fiction feed irl discrimination and reflect on the author’s inability to question the world they live in (looking at you, comformist sci fi and fanfic writers obsessed with racist top and bottom headcanons) » « mainstream art seeks to reinforce capitalist ideals and the art financed through capitalism is enslaved to it » « cisheteronormativity flattens people who bow to it to unhappy stereotypes » « generalizations of entire groups are mere practical shortcuts, consquences of overly essemtialist thinking, and deny the diversity inherent to every human group » « people have a right to all harmless self expression » « people aren’t their governments » « destroying the environment is bad and we should do what we can to do as little as possible and reverse the damage of ultra capitalist urban lifestyles» « the western world being built on colonialism and continuing global exploitation through capitalism is bad actually, as is the average lifestyle being deeply wasteful » « racism and racial stereotypes bad » « you should get shit second as much as possible, make your own or pay well a craftsperson if you can » were baseline mainstream opinions and not shit that will get you looked at like an alien for saying out loud. Not that this isn’t still fringe for a lot of queer. Actually im tired of people’s political short sightedness in general

Like sure people grow and on average i want to believe less bigoted (although stats show in Europe the youth is more likely to believe someone caused their own poverty i know it’s cause some have not yet faced hardships getting a job but omg we are not making it out of the classist coalmine) but omg the amount of work to get to an ethical world, probably never in my lifetime, the moral rottenness of European islamophobia and zionism im witnessing daily, and the ticking clock of climate change. I feel like im going mad

[mainfaggot]

Good afternoon i am nauseous

[hussyknee]

I AM WHEEZING.

I know some dickheads have now decided that Judaism is the "bad, violent, terrorist religion" and Islam is the "good, peaceful" one, which is only to be expected of white people, but how much of an issue is it currently? Like I've seen some USAmericans sharing how the Islamic faith shapes Gazans values and perseverance (good) except with that distinct white hippie "I'm about to imprint on this like the world's most racist duck" vibe (bad), but I didn't think they're already turning on Judaism in numbers.

Do they realize that Christianity is also the same kind of comfort to Christian minorities in Asia and Africa? That it was Buddhists that genocided the Rohingyas in Myanmar and Tamils in Sri Lanka? That Hindu fundamentalists are even now trying to ethnically cleanse Muslims in India? How Hindus and Christians are terrorized and persecuted in Pakistan? That Muslims have had a long history of persecuting and ethnically cleansing Jews too?

Really tired of asking y'all to be normal about people's religions man. There's no religion that's inherently violent or exceptionally peaceful. It's just like any other ideology that becomes a weapon in the hands of ethnic power. Interrogate power, not religion, and respect people's belief systems insofar as they aren't in your business.

[drclaudiosaracinodcsworld]

LE SEUL SECRET POUR Être créatif | Unhappy | ARTE téléchargez l'audio DCS: NON PASSE NEGATIF https://claudiosaracino.com/prodotto/... #ART #êtrecréatif #créativité 🟢🇫🇷 1 MONDE MYSTERIEUX TON SUBCONSCIENT…hypnose DCS unique au monde téléchargez l'audio DCS: NON PASSE NEGATIF https://claudiosaracino.com/prodotto/... #hypnose #secret #mystere #hypnose#methodedcs#hyonosedcs #methodedcs#hypnose #hypnosedcs #mp3dcs #drclaudiosaracino #losangeles#beverlihills#californie#usa#etasunit#drssarinabrunini#autohypnosedcs#methodedcs#mp3dcs#audiodcs #hypnosedcs#drclaudiosaracino#hypnose . Une de plus grandes différences par rapport à d’autres disciplines comme le yoga, la méditation, le yoga, le mendfulness, le mantra, le zen etc c’est que toi tu peux aider un de tes chers qui ne veut pas ton aide ou il ne peut pas avoir ton aide Ecoutes ce que j’ai à dire et partagés cette vidéo avec tes amis...IL NE FAUT PAS CROIRE😳IL FAUT SEULEMENT FAIRE ACTION😳il y a ce qui fait et ce qui ne fait pas...😳SEULEMENT A TOI LE CHOIX ⚔ 💪🏿YouTube👇🏿 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcNG... 👉🏿Facebook👇🏿 https://www.facebook.com/ipnologiasso... 👉🏿Instagram👇🏿 https://www.instagram.com/benessereip... 👉🏿twitter👇🏿 https://twitter.com/drsaracino 👉🏿Tiktok👇🏿https://vm.tiktok.com/GKxqYj/ 👉🏿sito:👇🏿 https://www.ipnologiassociati.com

[saintobio]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐃 & 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓. (final part to 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐈𝐍 & 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐑.)

in the painful memory of what once was, sylus learns that love can't be bound where it was never meant to stay.

♱ pairings. sylus, fem!reader

♱ genre. angst, smut, boss/assistant, 18+

♱ tags. sylus's pov, reader is not l&ds!mc, sylus might be ooc, main story spoilers, razor's dance spoilers, nightplumes spoilers, lots of timeskip, fast-paced, unrequited love, profanity, petnames (kitten, sweetie), espionage, jealousy, brief smut, mentions of pregnancy/impregnation kink, mentions of accidents, suicide attempt, injuries, blood, usage of guns, usage of knife, killings, death, my own theories incorporated into the lore, sylus groveling bcos yall want him to

♱ notes. 9.5k wc. l&ds!mc is referred to here as 'diana'. THIS IS A REPOST of the original post i accidentally deleted. i already posted this several hours ago, so if you’re seeing this new one again, blame my dumbass 🤧 oh well life is life.

Sylus had a part of him that wished things could be different. 

Ever since he turned away and left you that night at the alleyway, he didn’t really realize the chain of events his decision would set into motion. He simply underestimated how strongly your threats were backed by the grudge you had on him for bringing the hunter girl from Linkon into his base.

After all, you were just an assistant of his. And her, she was everything to him. It wasn’t just about the Aether Core, too—their bond stretched back into his distant past, into another planet where two of them ruled before the inhabitants of Philos came to ruin everything. Him and Diana had a connection he couldn’t sever no matter how much you had come to mean to him. And he spent years, centuries even, just to search for her. 

So, how could a mere assistant he had known for less than a decade have such entitlement to her role in his life? 

Eventually, days turned into weeks. Weeks into months. With your prolonged absence from the Onychinus base, Sylus’s business transactions and illicit deals had become increasingly unruly. He had grown too dependent on you as his right-hand woman, relying on your meticulous management to ensure all his illegal activities ran smoothly. Yet now, without your oversight, things were falling apart.

And while he was contemplating how to fill the void your absence had created, the office door slammed open. A subordinate soon rushed in, breathless and wide-eyed. “Boss, she’s betrayed us!” Luke exclaimed. “She’s gone to the Hunter’s Association. We got word that she was a high-ranking intelligence agent there!”

“A.K.A a spy!” yelled the other twin, Kieran, who looked equally hurt at your betrayal. “She fooled all of us. And here, we treated her like family.” 

That was how Sylus learned that you had left the N109 Zone, seeking refuge in Linkon City, and had exposed critical intel on Onychinus. At the time, rage naturally exploded within him. Didn’t he take good care of you while you were here? He had given you everything, trusted you, and you had thrown it all away. Four years of falling into his trap. Four years of being his partner in crime, his right-hand woman, his lover. People even saw you as the modern day Bonnie & Clyde. Sylus couldn’t understand the root of your betrayal, couldn’t imagine how letting you slip away from his grasp would cost him so much in return.

When you vowed to do everything in your power to kill Diana, was this just a part of your grand scheme? What other machinations were you orchestrating in your pursuit of revenge?

“She’s a wild animal on loose.” Sylus looked up at the twins, maintaining a calm yet ruthless mien as he sat on the couch. He might be idly tossing a coin like he didn’t care, but inside his brain was chaos ensuing. “Where’s she now? Any news?”

It was Luke who shrugged in response. “She hasn’t been seen anywhere, boss-man.”

“We suspect the Association is hiding her,” Kieran added. 

The hunter girl, Diana—the very girl you were jealous of, was sitting next to Sylus throughout the conversation. Their hands were connected by a strong energy linkage that was seemingly ignited by the Aether Cores in their bodies. They couldn’t separate themselves even if they wanted to. And God forbid you would have lost your mind tenfold had you seen their situation right now. 

“That g-girl,” gasped the hunter girl, eyes wide in bewilderment at what she was hearing. “Sylus, your assistant. She did all that? She was a spy from the Hunter’s Association?” 

Luke tilted her head at the girl, his beaked mask mocking her. “Oh, miss hunter! Haven’t you heard about the HIS? You should know them better than us.” 

“Well.. what is the HIS?” 

“Hunter Intelligence Services.” Sylus was the one who answered, releasing a deep sigh while rubbing his temples. “They’re top secret. Regular hunters wouldn’t have known about them, because they only deal with people like me.” 

Diana looked between him and the twins, rubbing her wrist before moving closer to the boss of Onychinus. Her close proximity allowed him to smell her familiar sweet scent. “Is she… after me? But I don’t understand. If she’s part of the Hunter’s Association too, then shouldn’t we be colleagues?”

Kieran cleared his throat. “Ever since you came—”

“Place a bounty on her head,” Sylus interrupted the twins, and also ignored the question of the girl next to him. She didn’t need to learn the history behind you and him, or why you chose to target her. “Make sure to bring Y/N back to me. Alive.” 

“Roger that, boss!” 

It was his last desperate attempt to draw you back to him. Now that you had the Hunter’s Association protecting you, Sylus knew that locating you wouldn’t be as simple. Otherwise, he would have easily captured Diana long ago. He convinced himself that the bounty was to punish you, but deep down, he knew it was because he couldn’t bear to lose you to his enemies completely.

~~

It took you a year to return to the N109 Zone.

Did you forget he had eyes and ears everywhere? He was the boss of that infamous No-Hunt Zone. Even if you leaked intel about his residences and the Onychinus base to the Hunter’s Association, Sylus still had a few tricks up his sleeve. He had hideouts in places that even you weren’t aware of, and the residents of the N109 Zone were loyal to him. Too loyal that they wouldn’t give any information to anyone no matter the consequences. 

And how foolish were you to forget about Mephisto’s existence?

“Caw! Caw!”

The mechanical crow’s eyes glowed with the same red hue as Sylus’s as it landed on his arm, projecting visions of you entering the underground fight club disguised in an Onychinus uniform. It was almost farcical that you thought you could infiltrate a place Sylus frequented unnoticed.

But then, the vision shifted to you speeding on a motorcycle with a truck in hot pursuit. Sylus quickly recognized the truck’s decals—it was the hitman he often employed for dealing with his enemies, now terrorizing you in a high-speed chase. Without hesitation, Sylus grabbed his leather jacket and mounted his own bike, racing to your location in sixth gear.

He arrived just a minute too late. And what was meant to be a dramatic reunion turned into a scene of you lying unconscious and injured on the road, while the hitman grinned nearby with an expression of triumph. If it hadn’t been for your helmet, Sylus would have been met with the gruesome sight of your shattered skull.

“Mr. Sylus!” the hitman exclaimed, jumping out of his truck with arms outstretched in petty victory. “Can I get the $500,000,000 in cash?”

As Sylus’s gaze fell on your unconscious, injured body sprawled on the ground, a surge of anguish overwhelmed him in ways he couldn’t understand. But it was quickly replaced by seething rage—rage that made him summon his black-red mist, enveloping the hitman in its dark tendrils.

“I said not to harm her,” Sylus growled, his red eye glowing ominously against the desolate highway backdrop. “You failed your task.”

“P-Please, Mr. Sylus! I thought you—”

Without another word, Sylus scooped you up in his arms while his mist dealt with the hitman behind him. The hitman’s desperate cries were soon drowned out by the expanding tendrils, which tightened around him until he was engulfed. Then, in a violent burst, the mist exploded, reducing the hitman and everything around him to dust.

Sylus brought you to his underground hideout immediately after. And an unfamiliar—or perhaps strange—pang tugged at his heart as he gently laid you in bed, his gaze lingering on the road rash you obtained from the crash. The injuries were severe, with patches of skin nearly stripped away in the most brutal fashion he could think of. He could only imagine the burning pain you had to endure as soon as you skidded along the gravel, and Sylus felt his own frustrations knocking at the door knowing that he didn’t have the power to extend his fast-healing abilities to you.

“Tch. My kitten’s reckless as always, riding without the proper gear,” Sylus grumbled, looking at your unconscious body. “You’ve never been one to follow the rules, have you?”

To make up for his inability to save you on time, he applied a potent medicinal ointment all over your body and placed you in an anesthetized state while you healed. His mist enveloped you like a protective shroud the entire time you laid in bed unconscious. Every single day, Sylus tended to your wounds, changing your clothes and bandages, and applying the ointments over your bare body. He even took special care to ensure the twins did not enter your room without his permission. 

Despite the care he showed, a persistent question echoed in his mind: Why am I doing this for you? You were his enemy, a traitor, and a woman who had betrayed him. It didn’t make sense. 

That afternoon, feeling suffocated from this internal conflict, Sylus decided to leave you in the care of Luke and Kieran while he went to Linkon. He knew he needed space to grapple with the feelings that were driving him to care for you in the first place.

He needed to see the real woman he should be caring for. 

Because you had not only exposed intel on Sylus and Onychinus to the Hunter’s Association, you also asked for them to isolate Diana so she would have no way to see or contact him. Who knew that mere feelings of jealousy would spark you to do such trivial things? 

Frankly, you were insane. You were dark and twisted like him. 

But in a way, it only underscored how similarly deranged the two of you were. Perhaps, in your madness, there was a strange compatibility—one that Sylus found unsettlingly fitting. The suggestion of you two being more a suitable pair than he and Diana gave him an unease that he couldn’t simply shake away. 

It should be her. Her. Just her and her alone. He dedicated his whole life into finding her, yet you came into his life to ruin the foundations he had built to meet the person he was supposedly destined for. He had repeated it over and over in his mind like a broken record—the voices in his head telling him to let you go, to hurt you, to make you suffer. 

However, as he stood across the pedestrian crossing, watching Diana from afar, a realization hit him like a cold gust of wind. There she was, oblivious to his presence on the other side, but the spark that once ignited in his heart whenever he saw her was gone. Now, his pulse remained steady and his heart stayed still.

With a wary glance around, mindful of any watchful eyes, he decided to pick up his phone and ring hers. It was a good thing he was able to seamlessly blend into the crowd, with his practiced nonchalance making him invisible among the throng of people. After all, he was Sylus Qin, the mastermind of Onychinus—disguise was second nature to him.

“Sylus?” Her voice came through the line, tentative and filled with a mix of emotions as she scanned the faces on the other side of the crossing.

“According to the conditions set by the Hunter’s Association, we shouldn’t be meeting again.” His voice was steady, almost detached, as he kept the phone pressed to his ear. “Or if not, you will be marked as a Tenebra.” 

Her eyes eventually found him amidst the walking crowd, keeping an expression on her face that showed both longing and forlornness. “Not the first time someone has been marked a Tenebra because of you,” she managed to slip in a snarky remark in her worried expression. “Are you hurt? Did they hurt you?” 

“Are you worried about me?” he nonchalantly asked, watching as she stepped off the curb when the light turned green. Each step was a step closer to him, but nothing changed the pace of his own heartbeat like it should have. Nothing stirred within him as it once did.

“You have the audacity to use a phone when you’re right in front of me,” she snapped, frustration flaring as she yanked the phone from his grasp. Without hesitation, she grabbed his arm, dragging him along with her to escape the dangers of being seen in public. They ended up in an alleyway, a place hidden from prying eyes, an irony that made Sylus chuckle under his breath. The alleyway. Why has that become such a memorable place to him? “Sylus, what’s so funny? I was so scared something happened to you! You couldn’t even call me back or text me the past few days?”

He remained expressionless as he observed her outburst. Strange. In her frantic worry, she reminded him of you, and it was a discomfiting parallel that sent chills down his spine. “I said I’d need to disappear from your life completely, so I have to tie up loose ends,” he began, each word seemingly a dagger to her heart. “We haven’t been able to resonate either way, sweetie. There’s no reason for us to keep meeting.” 

“No!” she adamantly denied the thought, pulling him into an embrace. “No, you’re not allowed to disappear just like that! We need to find a way to get—”

“It’s a dangerous gamble to be caught in my world,” he said in a low voice. 

But she was stubborn. “I’m already caught in it! So, please, Sylus, take me with you. Take me to the N109 Zone or wherever you’re hiding. I want to be where you are.” And in spite, she uttered words that made Sylus think twice about his perception of you. “It’s her fault that this is all happening. She’s a traitor to you and to the Association. Her loyalty isn’t with anyone but herself, Sylus. She’s the one who needs to disappear!”

~~

Back at his hideout, Sylus was careful to ensure that Diana remained oblivious to your presence in another room. He was already grappling with how to manage the situation—torn between the woman he loved and the woman he had wronged who, ironically, were both now under the same roof. The thought of you two crossing paths was a nightmare he didn’t want to deal with, so he gave strict orders to the twins, notorious for their loose lips and loud mouths, to keep Diana far from you.

Because when Sylus returned to your room, he knew you were awake. The dark classical music playing from the vinyl record had likely stirred you from unconsciousness. It had been nearly a week since the crash, but thanks to his meticulous care, your wounds had mostly healed, leaving only faint scars behind.

“You can’t hide from me forever.” Sylus hovered over you to whisper into your ear, summoning his protective black-red mist to slowly release you. “Wake up, kitten. We have unfinished business.” 

When you finally opened your eyes after what felt like an eternity, Sylus told himself it was natural to feel relieved, that it was only right for his heart to soften at the sight of you returning to consciousness. But as you awoke, the voices in his head—the damned, relentless voices—grew louder, mocking him, provoking him, and luring him into darker thoughts. His right eye began to glow like a flickering candle, and when he saw the fear on your face, the words that followed weren’t his own. They were driven by the unforgiving side of him he couldn’t control, a side that thrived on your terror. The beast that couldn’t be tamed. 

She’s a traitor.

Punish her. 

Hurt her. 

Devour her. 

While in a heated, dramatic exchange with you, Sylus was spewing words he didn’t mean. He was doing actions without regard. He was mocking your pain. Your jealousy. Your heartbreak. The drive to hurt you was strong in his head, but he fought desperately against it. The demon inside him that tried to consume his every thought. He tried to battle his own self just to protect you. 

“I betrayed you because of her!” 

His laughter died down, but the amusement in his eyes only deepened, replaced by the wicked smile on his face that enjoyed seeing you suffer. “It’s always been about her, hasn’t it? You see me with her, and you can’t stand it. It eats at you, makes you act out.”

You tried to move away, but Sylus pressed his foot firmly on your wrist. She betrayed you, Sylus. Punish her. 

“I’ve seen your struggle,” he continued, his voice soft but laced with corrupt satisfaction. “The way you watched me with her, the way it gnaws at you. It’s almost poetic, really.”

It wasn’t until you reached for the gun on his nightstand, pointing it at yourself, that Sylus snapped out of his dark trance. The horror in his eyes was a stark contrast to the sorrowful shine in yours as you stood there, sobbing in front of him. Each word you spoke was tailed with the pain of a heart shattered by everything he had done and said. 

“...All I wanted was your love,” you choked out with tears cascading down your face, “I j-just wanted you to love me. I turned my back on the H.A. for you. I left all my friends and family for you.” Your breathing was still for a moment, but your heart had already been blown into smithereens. “All I had was you. I loved you. I devoted all my body and soul into loving you, Sylus. Why c-can’t I have even a little bit in return?”

Even as his gaze softened and a flicker of regret passed across his face, you had already made your decision when your finger tightened on the trigger. The recoil jolted your wrist, but before the bullet could find its mark, Sylus’s hand shot out and expertly deflected your aim. Instead of ending your life, the bullet shattered a window, ricocheting off the glass and disappearing into the night.

“Are you out of your mind?!” Sylus roared, his voice a thunderous mix of fury and disbelief.

You were barely responding to him as he cupped your cheeks and forced your lachrymose eyes to lock into his crimson ones. It was as though you had already resigned yourself to reality, that ending your own life would have been a better option than being with the man you hopelessly loved. 

“Y/N,” Sylus tried to shake you awake, desperate for you to look into his eyes. “Y/N! Enough. Let’s end this game.” 

“...I was never playing one with you.”

Sylus was overwhelmed by a profound, indescribable pain that pierced his chest. It was a pain that mirrored yours but was infinitely more intense. “I warned you many times before to never fall in love with me,” he said in a low, softened voice, “It’s for the best, and it’s what will keep you safe. Why don’t you listen?” He longed to pull you into his arms, but the crushing reality was that he only now realized how deeply he cared for you. It was devastating that his awakening had come at the cost of your near-suicide, forced by a love he was unable to return.

Was it truly too late for him to come to terms with his feelings for you? Was it too late to accept that he had fallen in love with you rather than the woman he believed he was meant to be with?

His answer came in the form of a gut-wrenching realization. It manifested in the frantic voice of Diana—the woman he believed he loved, piercing through the haze of his thoughts by yelling, “Sylus, step back!”

“No!” he shouted, his black-red mist swirling to intercept the bullet.

But his efforts came too late. The bullet had already been set in motion, and it tore through the side of your head. 

It penetrated your skull with a cruel precision, not just once but twice. And the warmth of your blood seeped through his fingers as he caught your head before you fell onto the floor. 

Sylus’s mind raced with the enormity of what had just happened. His face grew ashen as he looked at your bloodied head and lifeless eyes, a wave of acid welling up his chest until he couldn’t breath. But the reason for his suffocation was because of his own guilt and grief. It was at the force of a sledgehammer when he was hit with the admission that he had always been in love with you. All along, despite your tangled mess, it was you who had captured his heart in this world.

His chest tightened, his breaths coming in ragged, broken bursts, while he held you close in his arms. And your last three words, your very last words of “I… love… you…” as you stared despairingly at him was icing on this bitter cake. 

No… no! 

He couldn’t fucking accept it. He was losing his mind, he was going insane. He was plunging into madness. Utter hysteria. “Y/N, please,” he begged, his voice breaking as your eyes, once full of life and light, were now glazed over with the sheen of death. “Don’t leave. No, I can’t let this happen!” For the first time in a long time, he once again felt hot tears leaving his eyes. It was an emotion so rare it only ever showed toward the people he deeply cared about. “I love you too,” he struggled to say. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean what I said back there.”

Sylus held you close, disregarding the blood staining his clothes while he was consumed by agony and regret. He had driven you to this, pushed you away, and then drawn you back into his orbit only to lose you forever. 

Though he may have conquered your heart, in doing so, he had only destroyed the both of you. The memory of your love and the warmth of your touch would haunt him for the rest of his days. And as he held your lifeless body, he knew that he would never be whole again.

But it shouldn’t be too late. No, it shouldn’t! He didn’t know if it was the hysteria or adrenaline kicking into him, but he had thought of an idea—no matter how immoral—that would return you back to him. He just couldn’t weigh which strong emotion he had to deal with first; should he grab the gun and shoot Diana out of anger? Or should he ignore her presence entirely and just focus on you?

Sylus chose to proceed with the latter as he carried you through the corridors of the base, his steps heavy with guilt and his shirt drenched in blood as you remained unconscious in his arms. The hunter girl had followed him in his spiritless steps, her eyes wide with confusion over his anguish.

“Sylus, why are you doing this?!” she demanded, grabbing his arm to halt his progress. “She would’ve killed you. That girl’s a traitor!”

Although he stopped in his tracks, he couldn’t really return her gaze. His eyes could only look at your lifeless ones. “That girl you shot in the head,” he spoke low and in despair, “is my woman.” 

Diana was horrified. “But… but you never said—” Before she could finish, the twins intervened, holding her back from pursuing Sylus further. “What about me?”

He had already turned away. “I’ll fulfill my promise to protect you from afar, but this is where our paths part. Do not come near me again.”

~~

Sylus stood over your unconscious body, his eyes bloodshot and tears-streaked, while his heart pounded with a mix of grief and desperation. He had summoned Philip and the finest surgeons he knew to his hideout, where you lay in a medical bed, exposed and vulnerable, as if you were a subject in a desperate experiment.

Philip arrived with a grim expression, his eyes scanning the scene with both skepticism and professional detachment. Sylus could barely contain his desperation as he demanded, “Do everything you can to save her. Even if it means infusing a high-grade protocore in her brain.” After all, he had plenty of that. Sylus had all the resources, protocores of the highest grade, each with their own purpose and capabilities.

Yet Philip hesitated, his face contorting with concern. “Mr. Sylus, you know I can’t do this. She’s gone. The best thing to do is accept—”

That was when Sylus’s composure cracked. He kicked the nearby chair out of rage, tears streaming down his face as he begged, “You’ve done it before. Do it again! Please, I need her to live!”

The sight of Sylus, usually so imposing and dominant, breaking down in front of him was shocking. Philip felt a pang of sympathy toward the Onychinus boss who was willing to do everything for a woman who was already dead. His hands trembled as he spoke, “I-I can try. But I’m warning you, Mr. Sylus… even if she survives this, there’s zero chance her memories will be the same. They may even become altered, and it will be out of our control.”

Sylus’s gaze never left you. “I don’t mind. Just do it.”

~~

Weeks later, Sylus found himself in a secluded alleyway, meeting with a deepspace hunter who was also an enemy of his from another planet. Of course, the atmosphere was tense as both men stood in front of each other, eye-to-eye, carrying a defensive stance from one another. 

They were never friends. But that day, they weren’t enemies either. 

“How’s she?” Xavier broke the silence first. 

Sylus answered with a low voice. “She hasn’t woken up, but she’s stable.”

“Why’d you ask to meet?”

“I want you to look after her,” the Onychinus leader began, his voice steady but carrying an undertone of desperation, “Speak to the Association about taking Y/N back and forgiving her for her betrayal. In return, I’ll step away from Diana’s life. She’s all yours. I just want Y/N to return to her normal life.”

Xavier’s expression was serious. “You’re forgetting you still have a bounty on your head.”

“And you’re forgetting you and your backtrackers destroyed the planet where I was living,” he replied in equal disdain, but only enough to trap Xavier into a wall of guilt and obligation.

“I’ll see what I can do,” said Lumiere—or, in his current form, the deepspace hunter, Xavier. “The HIS will be easy to convince. But what if she wakes up and wants to go back to the N109 Zone?”

Sylus felt a tug of deep sadness pulling at his heart. “She won’t. Her memories of me are gone for good.” 

~~

If this was his karma for hurting you, then it was definitely the worst kind. 

Sylus maintained a distant watch over you after you returned to Linkon, observing from afar as you rejoined your life with the support of the Hunter’s Association and former colleagues. Each day, he sent Mephisto to monitor your whereabouts, carefully tracking your interactions and daily activities. The mechanical crow often returned with glimpses of your life, which Sylus scrutinized with intense focus as if he were watching a movie. Each glimpse offered him a sense of relief, happiness even, at knowing how easy you were settling back into your old life. 

You had been officially dismissed from the Hunter’s Association due to a medical condition that rendered you unfit for duty, but they continued to cover your pension and provided free lodging—likely thanks to Xavier’s persuasive influence over the Association. The official story was that you had been sent on a dangerous mission where a Wanderer had placed you in a life-threatening predicament. The narrative praised your honor and dedication to the end. There was no mention of Sylus, Onychinus, or the N109 Zone. No hint of the life you had once led or the truth behind your memory erasure. 

Yet, in a bitter twist of irony, perhaps the story you were told may not actually be farther from the truth.

After all, Sylus was the dangerous monster that sent you to that life-and-death situation.

But at least now, you were well cared for. So much so that Sylus fought to contain his jealousy whenever Mephisto’s eyes relayed visions of you sharing lunch with a physician named Dr. Zayne. He struggled to mask his irritation as he saw the man drape an arm around your shoulders while guiding you out of the hospital or wrapping a scarf around your neck to keep you warm. He would often even drive you home and send you gifts that were masked as tokens of “recovery.”

Bullshit.

Sylus clenched his fist, his thoughts of jealousy consuming him. My girl, he thought in despair, my beautiful girl is cherished by other men, while he remained imprisoned in the desolate shadows of the N109 Zone, longing for you.

Eventually, Sylus felt an overwhelming urge to see you in person. After discovering that you had taken a job at a café in Bloomshore District, he convinced himself that observing you from a distance wouldn’t cause harm. He just wanted to be near you, to ensure your safety, and to protect you from any potential threats.

As he sat on a nearby bench, Luke joined him with a comment. “Boss, you said we needed to disappear from her life.”

Kieran, taking a seat on Sylus’s other side, added, “Do you think she’d recognize us if we walked into that café? If she doesn’t, I’ll give her a hard time with my orders ‘til she remembers us!”

“Ha ha! Let’s do that!” 

“Boss, let’s go!” 

“Leave her be.” Sylus took a deep breath, adjusting his sunglasses and setting aside his newspaper—part of his disguise—as he watched you through the café window. He noticed the subtle traces of familiarity in your actions, but the connections that once bound you were now distant memories. “...I’m just here to make sure no one’s bothering her.”

The truth was, he wrestled with his emotions each time he visited the café you were working at. He wanted to approach you, to speak to you, but he hesitated each time because of the fear of rejection and the pain of seeing you not remember him holding him back. There were so many what-ifs in his head that it drove him insane to think about. 

Because if anything, what if you were already seeing someone else? What if you were already in a relationship with that scumbag doctor from the Akso Hospital? 

It was petty jealousy that drove Sylus into stepping into the café. And the first time your eyes met since you resurrected, his heart initially froze, then raced uncontrollably. His heart swelled with hope as you looked up at him, but it was quickly replaced by the lack of recognition in your eyes the moment you spoke from the counter. 

“Hi. What can I get you?” you asked, treating him no differently than any other customer. 

Sylus was caught off-guard, but he knew he had to play the part. “I, uh, I’ll get an Americano. Large.” 

“Alright, sir. And your name, please?” you asked, following your routine without any real interest in the man before you. 

But in a way, this was a relief for Sylus. It confirmed that the protocore embedded in your head was functioning as intended, and that any dark memories from the past had been completely erased, even if it meant he was no longer part of your life. 

“Skye,” he said with a soft smile. “That’s my name.”

~~

There wasn’t a single day Sylus missed visiting the café. 

At first, he worried that his constant presence might seem odd, or that you might think of him as a stalker. But as the days passed, seeing you became an essential part of his routine. A day without catching a glimpse of you felt incomplete, almost maddening. Seeing you was like a drug he couldn’t get enough of.

Initially, you found his regular visits a bit strange, but gradually, the small interactions between you two evolved. Sylus began to appear at the café just when you needed him most—whether it was fixing a broken coffee machine, addressing rude customers, or simply offering a helping hand. These acts of kindness somehow transformed your view of him. What started as a customer-service relationship slowly became more personable, and in recent days, you often greeted him warmly and smiled whenever he walked in. If only you knew how badly it warmed his heart that he got to do things for you without making him feel like he was intruding in your life.

And to be honest, Sylus even felt like he might be—as Luke termed it—foolishly ”crushing” on you. 

“Who knew our boss-man could be a hopeless romantic~?”

There was a time when he visited the café, only to find out from your manager that you called in sick from work. Sylus knew where you lived, but going to your place uninvited was a different story. He had to put some boundaries no matter how worried he was for you. But that was when Mephisto became useful; the mechanical crow would simply fly off to your place and observe you from outside. Then, an idea to drop a box of medicines and chocolates at your balcony was something he had thought of at the last minute. 

Back in the N109 Zone, Sylus anxiously looked at his crow. “Are you sure she didn’t see you?” 

“Caw! Caw!” 

“Did she eat the chocolates?” he asked, exhaling a deep breath he didn’t think he was holding.

“Caw! Caw! Caaaw!” Mephisto responded, fluttering its wings as if to reassure him.

~~

And then, that day happened. 

The day Sylus finally gathered the courage to ask you out, fate had other plans. And what began as a simple gesture to offer you a ride home during a stormy night quickly escalated into something far more intense.

Because one moment, he was offering you a ride. The next, he found himself in your bed, having the most passionate sex he had ever had with someone. He wasn’t even sure if he could call it that, because it felt more like he was making love to you, even if to you, he was probably just an attractive guy you unexpectedly hooked up with. 

So, he had to make himself known. He had to hear his real name leaving your lips. “Sylus,” he breathed into your ear, hands tracing your curves, “Call me Sylus, kitten.” 

That night, he was an insatiable man who could only be satisfied by his woman. 

When he was buried far too deep inside you, he enjoyed the sight of ecstasy on your face and lavished at the sounds of your titillating moans with his every thrust. Not only did he miss the feeling of your walls tightening around his shaft, he also remembered how badly you used to want him to cum inside you. 

And so, he did just that. At his climax, he released hot spurts of seed into your womb, fulfilling a wish from the past that he used to deprive you of. 

But as the night progressed and the heat of the moment faded, the conversation shifted to a more profound and emotional terrain. Sylus wrestled with the urge to reveal the truth about his true identity—every painful detail and the secrets he kept from you. Yet, he knew that doing so would only complicate matters further and risk causing you more pain. The idea of hurting you again, after such a meaningful connection, was unbearable to him, especially now that you were still fragile as glass, ready to shatter at any moment. 

“Why do I get the feeling that I was the one who experienced a one-sided love before?” 

“No, you were loved. You were very loved. There was no one else,” he pressed, forcing you to believe the narrative with his rueful eyes staring back at you. “I was the one who wasn’t worthy of you… But I’d like to try and win your heart again this time. If you allow it.” 

“Sylus… I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry for not recognizing you before. I just… I lost a chunk of my memories, and I don’t know if it’s been altered or what, but…” He caressed your back as you took a deep breath. “I’ll try to remember, okay?”

“Please don’t.” He shook his head, crestfallen as he thought of the past that was rightfully erased. “And there’s no need for apologies, sweetie. There wasn’t anything you did wrong.” 

~~

Your relationship with Sylus remained unclear since that night. And it seemed as though the roles had reversed—now he was the one left wondering where he stood in your life. Because on the surface, it did seem like you were willing to work on building a relationship with him again, but every encounter you two had were always physical rather than emotional. 

Sylus found himself at your apartment frequently, three or more times a week, engaging in intense, passionate encounters. He had lost track of how many times you two could do it in a single night, exploring every possible position, in every corner of your home. He had tried his hardest to make you feel like he was the only man who was more familiar with every inch of your body than anyone else. Yet, despite the physical closeness, he sensed that the emotional barriers between you remained intact.

No matter how deeply intertwined your bodies became, the walls around your heart remained firmly in place, and Sylus knew that there was a part of you he still couldn’t reach.

That, and the fact that he was still seeing you interact a little too closely with that doctor from Akso. 

It somehow didn’t surprise you when Sylus’s car showed up outside the hospital to pick you up, and you got on with a guarded look. 

“How’s it for my kitten today?” Sylus asked as he secured your seatbelt, his lips brushing against yours in a quick peck. “You didn’t mention you’d be at the hospital.”

You shifted uncomfortably, avoiding his gaze. “Oh, I just... didn’t think I needed to inform you of my whereabouts.”

Dammit. He knew you weren’t officially together, but it hurt more than he cared to admit. And it didn’t help that Sylus’s pride couldn’t naturally take it, so he probed more. “That doctor. He’s not your neurologist, is he? It seems a little inappropriate for him to always be around you like that.”

“Well, I’ve known Zayne for a long time,” you merely replied, eyes focused on the view outside rather than the driver of the car. “I’d also appreciate it if you'd be less territorial over me, Sylus. I know you said we have a history together, but I don’t remember a thing, so… I hope you won’t rush me.” 

The Sylus you knew back then would have been enraged. Who were you to order him around? Who were you to tell him what he should and shouldn’t do over someone he rightfully owned? But he was a changed man now, and it was all because of you. You were the beauty that tamed him into a powerless beast.

“I understand,” Sylus replied, swallowing his pride as his hands tightened around the steering wheel, focusing on the road ahead. “I apologize.”

He heard you sigh beside him, and a part of him wondered if it was out of sympathy. But before he could dwell on it, you spoke up, your tone more serious. “I was at the hospital today because I had a pregnancy scare.”

Sylus hit the brakes at the red light a bit too abruptly, his heart racing in excitement. “Are you?”

“No, thank God,” you breathed out in relief. “But... can you please stop doing it inside? I really don’t like it. It’s not smart for me to get pregnant by a man I barely know.”

His chest tightened in a way he couldn’t describe. The old you nearly begged him for a baby so he could be yours forever, but he was aware that this version of you right now was not the same. It never would be, and that was the price he had to pay for love. 

“I won’t do it again.” Once again, swallowing his pride. “I’m sorry.” 

You still invited him to sleep at your apartment that night, and your reason being to work on the memories of him you had lost. Time and time again did Sylus tell you it was better you didn’t remember them, but he could also understand your dilemma when you told him that you always felt like a piece of you was missing ever since that “accident”. 

“And this ugly scar on my temple,” you pointed it out, settling into your side of the bed. “What kind of Wanderer did I fight for me to get a traumatic brain injury?”

Sylus placed a tender kiss on your scar. “Perhaps it was a heartless monster more terrifying than a Wanderer.” 

Like me. 

“Oh, well.” You pulled the sheets over your body, suggesting you two would have no action tonight. “Good night, Sylus.” 

“...Sleep tight, kitten.” 

You didn’t need to worry, though, because he wouldn’t have touched you even if you had explicitly asked him to. After hearing your words that afternoon—about not wanting to get pregnant by him and asking him to stop being so territorial—Sylus felt the need to pull back and be more cautious in his actions toward you. Your words had cut deep, but he understood you were only protecting yourself from a man who was, essentially, still a stranger to you.

And despite the sting, he had promised himself that he would be patient for the only woman he cared about.

~~

However, that same night was a different story. 

No, it was actually way past midnight when Sylus woke up from an agonizing scream that pierced the silence of the night, chilling him to the bone. Instinctively, his hand reached out to the side of the bed where you should have been, but the sheets were cold and empty. And then panic gripped him, forcing him to leap out of bed, his mind racing with a single horrifying thought: the protocore.

He darted outside of your bedroom and deeper into your apartment space, his eyes scanning every shadow, every corner. The image of you, eyes wild and frenzied, ravaged by the effects of the protocore, haunted him.

What if it’s happening now? What if I lose her for good?

The horrifying thought of the protocore making you berserk like a wild Wanderer was always there.

His heart nearly stopped when he saw you on the kitchen floor, curled up, your body wracked with sobs. Relief washed over him to have found you, but it was fleeting, replaced by a deeper, more insidious fear. He tried to approach you cautiously, his voice soft as he placed his hands on your shoulders, “Sweetie, are you okay?”

You flinched at his touch, and when you turned to face him, the sight made his blood run cold. Your eyes, usually so warm, were now wide and filled with tears—tears of terror, of anger. And in your trembling hand, you held a knife, its blade gleaming in the low light as you pointed it directly at his throat.

“Don’t come any closer!” you cried, your voice breaking at every word. Sylus froze, his breath catching in his throat as your sudden hostility surprised him. The knife’s tip hovered dangerously close to his skin, but it wasn’t the threat of violence that shook him—it was the raw, unfiltered pain in your eyes.

“Kitten, let’s talk about it calmly.” His voice was laced with cautiousness. 

“Stop calling me that!” You swallowed hard, your grip on the knife tightening. “You! I had a nightmare... about you. But it felt real, like a memory. You were torturing me at your base, laughing... and then, you shot me in the head.”

Sylus’s heart dropped into his stomach at hearing your altered memory. He felt his soul tear apart at the edges as he stared into your tear-streaked face. “It was just a dream. It wasn’t real, kitten.”

But you weren’t listening. “But is it also not real? That you…” You uttered each word with a threatening voice, “are the boss of Onychinus?”

The question hit him like a physical blow. He opened his mouth to answer, but the words were stuck in his throat and refused to form. He was trapped. The situation felt like a dead end—he could deny that your dream was a real memory, but admitting he was the leader of Onychinus would only validate that lie.

His silence alone was an answer to you. And your expression crumbled into one of betrayal at that. “You lied to me! You’ve been lying to me this whole time. How am I supposed to believe anything you say now?”

The anger in your voice enforced the stillness of Sylus’s breath. He knew he had no saving grace from this situation, but still, he took a step closer, his hands raised in a placating gesture. “Y/N, I never wanted to hurt you—”

“Get out!” you screamed, the knife shaking in your hand. The sight of you so broken, so shattered, tore him apart. “Get the hell out of my sight! I don’t wanna see you ever again, you monster!”

But Sylus couldn’t leave—not like this, not when you were hurting because of him. So in his desperation, he lunged forward, grabbed your wrist, and forced the knife into his own chest. The sharp pain radiated through him as he plunged the blade in and stabbed himself repeatedly, his face twisted in agony, but not from the physical pain. This was nothing compared to the torment of knowing he was the source of your suffering. Again. 

“Even if I can’t die,” he choked out, his voice ragged as he tried to absorb the stinging ache in his chest, “I’ll take all of this pain away from you.”

His own blood soaked his fingers, staining your hands as he released his grip on the knife. It fell on the floor as he stepped back, his heart aching more than his wounds ever could, but those wounds easily healed. The pain of losing you again, on the other hand, would never heal.

He looked at you one last time, seeing his monstrous reflection from your frightened eyes, before turning away. Sylus walked out of the apartment with heavy steps, feeling his soul crushed from your antagonism. He knew he had lost you—perhaps forever—and the realization was more than he could bear.

~~

A haze of cigarette smoke and the clink of glasses filled the air of the bar. Sylus sat alone at the counter, his new glass of whiskey untouched as he stared blankly into the amber liquid. The sting of alcohol was nothing compared to the numbness that had settled in his heart after that agonizing night with you. Every swallow of the hard liquor was a desperate attempt to drown out the torment of recent events, but the pain lingered, and it was damn persistent and unforgiving.

As he poured himself another drink, the muffled sounds of conversation around him blended into a dull roar. That was until a familiar voice cut through the haze—someone he wished he hadn’t come across.

“Sylus?” 

He looked up, squinting against the dim light, to see Diana standing before him. He hadn’t seen him for the past year or so. And surely, her presence was unexpected, but he felt a sudden tinge of irritation at the sight of her. While her, she looked both apprehensive and determined, as if she had just made a hard decision to confront him. 

“H-How have you been?” she asked the question as a conversation starter, but Sylus could see the faint hint of unease in her eyes.

He then straightened up, and his posture became stiff and defensive. “I told you it’s not wise for us to cross paths,” he said curtly, his voice slurred from the alcohol but still holding a note of finality. He didn’t want to engage, not with her, not tonight.

On the one hand, Diana’s eyes flickered with an emotion he couldn’t quite place—regret, perhaps. “I… I wanted to say sorry for what happened with Y/N. I didn’t realize how much she meant to you. Xavier… told me everything. About you and her.”

The apology was genuine, but the mention of your name was a fresh wound, and he felt the anger and sadness surge again, bubbling beneath his carefully maintained exterior. He wanted to lash out, to blame her for everything, but he swallowed the words, knowing it wouldn’t change a thing. In the end, this was all his doing and he couldn’t point fingers over the mess that he alone had created.

Sylus tried to stand up, the room spinning slightly as he steadied himself. “I’m leaving.”

But Diana stepped closer, her hand reaching out as if to stop him. He simply brushed past her, his movements unsteady but undeniably distancing from her. The desire to remain composed was slipping away, replaced by the harsh reality he faced every day since you were taken from him.

He made his way to the exit, pushing through the bar’s heavy door with a forceful shove. Sylus’s next move was to lean against the wall outside as the cool winter breeze blew on his face. 

“Boss.” Kieran’s voice held a note of concern as he and his twin steadied Sylus by wrapping his arms around their shoulders. “We’ll take you home.”

Luke glanced at his brother with a sad glint in his eyes before leading Sylus toward the car. “Maybe it’s time to let her go, boss.”

~~

February nights were the coldest. And it was supposedly the day for lovers, too. 

Unlike the couples that littered the riverside, Sylus stood alone, his breath forming small clouds in the frigid air. His dark coat offered little protection against the biting wind, but he stayed committed, his gaze fixed on the empty expanse before him. Four hours had passed since he had sent you the message, and each minute he stood there waiting for you felt like an eternity. The biting cold gnawed at him, but he was determined to wait even if he’d end up getting frostbite. It was the least he could do.

The frozen river’s surface glistened with a thousand points of light as the moon cast its silver glow over the landscape. And for the next thirty minutes that passed, he was still alone. 

She won’t be coming, said the voice in his head. Give up. 

As he prepared to leave, the ache of disappointment settled in his chest, and his heart skipped a beat as he recognized you, standing cautiously across him, your eyes wide and filled with both curiosity and trepidation. The sight of you, despite waiting in the cold for hours, instantly warmed his freezing body. 

“Thank you for coming.” He took a deep breath, his voice trembling slightly as he spoke. “I won’t keep you long.” 

You maintained your distance, wary of his next move. “Why did you want to meet?” 

With a slow, deliberate motion, he began to peel the scarf from around your neck, and he felt a prick in his heart seeing you flinch. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”

He waited until you allowed him to proceed, his fingers brushing against your skin in a touch that was both gentle and reverent. You looked at him with confusion, the chilly air fought by the warmth of your breath. Sylus was just carefully replacing the scarf with the necklace he had given you long ago, the red Beryl crystal catching the light and sending soft, radiant glimmers into the night. 

Do you even recognize it? 

“I’m just returning a gift, kitten.”

As he fastened the clasp behind your neck, he pressed a tender kiss to the nape of your neck, his lips lingering for a moment before he straightened. That small gesture of his was actually carried by the depth of his affection and regret. And, if you may, it was his silent apology for all that he did to you.

“Sylus…” 

His red eyes shimmered, intensified by the bloodshot whites. Sylus stared at your face with a mixture of love and ruefulness clouding his expression. He was looking at you like you were the most precious thing in the world. And he struggled to hold back the tears that threatened to spill, with his voice breaking as he feathered the snowflakes that rested on your hair. “Take care of yourself. Always lock your doors at night and stay warm.” He took the scarf Zayne gave you, and pulled out a new one from his coat. It was a silly scarf with kitten prints all over it, that he soon carefully wrapped around your face and neck. “Wear that whenever you can.” 

Your own eyes were large and rimmed with tears as though you were also hurting inside. “Why are you saying this?” you asked, keeping the weakness inside. “You sound like you’re saying goodbye.” 

Sylus’s gaze was suddenly directed back to the river, but it was only because he had to avoid looking at your eyes or he would lose it. “The Association managed to track me here in Linkon and they’re still after me. I just managed to escape, but I can’t stay here,” he explained calmly, “I only came back to this city because of you… But now, I have to disappear, so don’t worry about having me around. I won’t bother you anymore.”

Your eyes widened in shock, and the tears that had been pooling your eyes finally spilled over. “Are you crazy?” you cried, seemingly unable to comprehend the words he was spewing. “You’re leaving me?”

Sylus’s heart broke at the sight of your tears, but he had to restrain any weakness by giving in. Instead, he reached out, and his hand trembled as he wiped a tear from your cheek. “I love you, Y/N.” He wanted to be the first one to say it this time. “Even if you regain all your memories of me—good or bad—I want you to know that I regret every pain I caused you. Even if you hate me, I’ll still love you. Today, tomorrow, and in our next lives.”

Sylus took one last, lingering look at you, his eyes filled with a sorrowful haze that nearly blinded his vision. He turned slowly, walking away from the river’s edge, with each step causing distance from the love he was leaving behind.

And you, you stood there, the necklace around your neck feeling heavy as you watched him disappear into the night. A surge of emotion overwhelmed you, and without thinking, you sprinted towards him. You took quick, long strides just to reach him, pulling him into a tight embrace, and crashing your lips against his in a bittersweet kiss.

Both of you cried as the kiss deepened, and you were encasing each other’s lips in a tight lock. The intensity of your emotions poured out in this poignant, intimate moment. And frankly, Sylus had never been this emotional. No one had ever seen this fragile side of him that he had always kept hidden. After all, what dominant, cruel boss of Onychinus would spill tears over a woman?

But they wouldn’t understand it. They never would. 

When you finally pulled away, your eyes were red and swollen from tears. “Be careful,” you sniffled, barely unable to catch the breath you needed for the next. “Keep in touch if you can. And when I’m ready, I’ll find you.”

Sylus’s eyes were also filled with tears, but he managed a forlorn smile as he nodded. He reached out to brush a strand of hair from your face, his touch gentle despite the heaviness of the moment. “I’ll wait,” he promised softly, his voice breaking slightly. “I’ll wait for you, no matter how long it takes.”

“Until we meet again.”

As he stepped back, the distance between you seemed impossibly vast, but the promise in your eyes and the love in his heart made the separation bearable, if only just. And when Sylus turned away, his heart was heavy but full of the hope that one day, you would find each other again. That one day, this distant love would become a cherished memory that you would look back on as you grow old and wrinkled, yet insurmountably happy and content with the life you had lived. With or without him.

PREVIOUS PART

[dearieshima]

determined

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷feat. xavier is determined to get your virginity before leaving philos.

His hands gripped your thighs hard enough to bruise, holding you open for his relentless assault. "Look at how deep I am," he panted, watching as he pistoned in and out of your tightness. "Look how well we fit together."

c.w spoilers to xavier's myth, dubcon, groping, scummy!xavier, coercion/manipulation, cherry popping, handjob, fingering, licking fingers after jizzing on them, jealousy, 4k+ words, halfway proofread

On the night of Xavier’s Gladius ceremony, he returned to the palace with a newly discovered understanding. Amidst the celebration, he pulled his father, the king, aside for a private conversation. He presented an irregular protocore to his father, its life force still pulsating in his hand.

“Shouldn't the protocore warrant a formal inspection?” Xavier asked, voice laced with suspicion.

“The lightblade deemed you worthy,” his father replied dismissively, his fingers absently tracing the protocore.

Xavier pressed, “Is there no need for formalities? Or are you unwilling? A heart was once in this protocore–am I mistaken?”

A flicker of tension tightened the king's jaw as he pocketed the protocore. “...I knew you'd catch on.”

The king immediately caught Xavier off, witnessing the disgust in his son’s eyes. “However, it is a necessary duty of the crown prince. It is also the king's responsibility.”

Xavier's mouth widened, and for a minute he stood there in silence. He then turned sharply, storming out without looking back, ignoring his father’s calls. His decision was already made.

He strode into the crowded hall, hoping to shake off his father’s gaze when he spotted you. His eyes darkened.

You were laughing at a joke some man had made, holding a flute of champagne. The dress you wore barely skimmed your knees, and Xavier noticed the man's eyes were fixed and imaginative, longing to see it up to your stomach.

You were a lamb among a den of wolves. If he left too soon, the pack would descend upon your fresh meat. He couldn't leave Philos without sinking his teeth into you first, marking you as his territory to warn others until his return.

He maneuvered toward you, brushing off congratulatory pats and embraces along the way. At one point, Jeremiah slung an arm around his shoulders, only to be harshly shrugged off, as Xavier’s focus remained locked on you. Jeremiah noticed his gaze and, not wanting to interfere, took a long sip of champagne and slipped away.

When Xavier finally reached you, he wrapped a hand firmly around your arm, his eyes flashing a silent warning to the other man.

“Come with me.”

"Hm? Why?”

Xavier's jaw clenched, his frustration mounting. Did you not notice how the other man had been ogling you?

“I have something I need to show you. It's urgent.”

Without waiting for a response, he guided you out of the ballroom, his hand gripping your arm firmly. He guided you out of the ballroom and steered you through the corridor of the palace, his steps determined and purposeful. His hand remained on your arm, his grip firm and possessive. When you reached his room, he ushered you inside.

You perched on his bed, still holding your champagne, swinging your legs. “So?” you asked, a playful smile on your lips as you twirled the drink in your hands. “What’s so urgent?”

Xavier shut the door with a soft click, then slowly turned to face you, a strange expression on his face. He reached over, took the flute from your hand, and placed it on his dresser. “Don’t drink that.”

You frowned, almost pouting. “Hey!”

He ignored your protest, “he could’ve slipped something into it.”

He strode to the window, pausing. “Besides, I want you clear-headed for what I’m about to show you, that's so urgent.” He pulled open the curtains, revealing a brilliant, star-studded sky. The sight drew you to your feet, and you stepped over, awestruck.

Xavier stood close behind you to make space. His chest brushed against your back as he rested his chin on your head, his warm breath fanning over your hair.

“There’s one more thing I want to show you,” he whispered, voice low in your ear. He pointed upward, guiding your gaze. “See? Just above the dipper—that’s the star of our planet.”

A smile tugged at your lips as you spotted the tiny glimmer in the sky, remembering your talks about eloping there. You’d joked about it, but seeing it now made your heart ache with a longing. “It’s beautiful…”

Xavier chuckled, the low sound making your skin tingle. He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer until your body was pressed flush against his.

Your breath caught, your heart thudding wildly. “X-Xavier…”

He held you tighter, his hand splaying across your waist. "You should be more careful," he murmured. "Don't you realize how many men in there were looking at you the same way I was?”

“The way you…?”

“—Like a piece of meat.” He was unaware he was contradicting himself. “You're too naive and innocent, and they were preying on it. If I hadn't taken you away..."

He leaned down, his lips just inches away from yours. He hesitated, as though he might ask permission, a question lingering in his darkening gaze. It died as he closed the distance, his lips capturing yours in a gentle yet assertive kiss. He drew you closer, his tongue exploring with confident ease.

He was desperate; you could feel it in the way his body pressed against yours, in the way he kissed you as if he was starved for you.

You melted into the kiss, your hands lifting to cradle his face.

Encouraged by your response, he gently lowered you back onto the bed, his forehead resting against yours as he followed you down. His body pressed against yours, and you could feel the deep, unspoken yearning in his touch.

“Xavier—” Your protest was cut off as he deepened the kiss, his lips capturing your voice, drowning any resistance as he poured himself into the moment.

You was a bit tipsy, the alcohol lowering your inhibitions, making you pliant beneath his touch. Xavier's lips trailed from your mouth to your neck, leaving a blazing path of desire on your flushed skin. He pushed you down, straddling your hips as he drank in the sight of you splayed out before him.

“X-Xavier…?”

Your clothes were rumpled, your hair tousled, your cheeks stained with a becoming flush. Xavier swallowed hard, his pulse racing as he finally had you right where he wanted you. This was what he'd been fantasizing about, dreaming of, for so long. And now, with you soft and willing beneath him, he couldn't hold back any longer.

His hands roamed your curves, slipping beneath your clothing to caress the silky skin beneath. He needed to feel you, all of you, with no barriers between you both. His fingers found the zipper of your dress and tugged it down but you pushed his chest, knocking him out of his delusion.

He blinked, as if surprised you would do that.

"What's the matter?" He murmured, his voice gruff. His fingers toyed with the hem of your dress, pushing it up, revealing more of your skin.

"X-Xavier..." You repeated, flushed. You scooted further into the bed, away from him until your back pressed against the headboard.

He followed, his hand slowly trailing back up your thigh, sending shivers through your body. "It's okay," he whispered, his voice coaxing. "No one has to know. It can be our little secret." His fingers reached the hem of your dress, slowly inching it up.

“N-No…” you stammered, reaching down to hold your skirt in place. “I… I don’t…”

Xavier’s face fell, his fingers curling into the fabric, his expression a mix of confusion and hurt. “You don’t want this?” he asked, voice low. “I though…–You were kissing me.”

“You kissed me back, you let me…” he continued, his voice trailing off as he looked away, shoulders slumping. “Why did you let me, just to pull away?”

You bit your lip, feeling a pang of guilt. “I… I didn’t mean to lead you on. I thought… it was just a kiss. Then it got too fast…”

"Too fast? Why was it too fast?" He glanced up, his brows knitted in frustration. "We've known each other for a while. We're alone. Why are you acting so shy all of a sudden?”

"I, I don't know..." I whimpered. "I don't... I don't know... Xavier, I…”

"You don't know, you don't know," he repeated. "You've been teasing me all this time, sending me mixed signals. And now, when I'm finally giving you what you want, you're pushing me away?”

You opened your mouth but closed it again, struggling to find the right words. “Xavier, it’s not… I just… You’re a prince…”

His lips pressed together, eyes dimming, reminded of the title he hated. "I'm a prince, so what?" His voice was soft, almost resigned. "Do you think that means I can't have you? That I don't have any feelings? That I can't desire you like any man would?”

“It’s not that… you're just…” you stammered, cheeks heating. “You’re meant for someone else, Xavier…”

"Someone else? Who are you to decide that? I don't want someone else, I want you. I've always wanted you." His expression softened, though his frustration was clear. He traced circles with his thumb on your foot. "Don't you want me?”

You bit your lip, finally looking up at him. “I… I like you, Xavier. More than… than I probably should.”

“Then why push me away?” he asked, voice thick with disappointment. “If you like me… then let me have you.”

“I… I don’t know, Xavier…”

He sighed. "You don't know again. Why don't you know?”

"Because I'm scared, Xav…”

"You're scared?" he echoed, his eyes softening. "Scared of what? Me?” Perhaps you've heard the rumors of him frightening away any students who showed interest in you; his father who showed an interest in your heart.

"N-No, that's not true," you pouted, fumbling nervously with your fingers. "I... I've never done it... This before... I…”

"So... you're scared because it's your first time?"

You nodded, feeling your cheeks heat. “Yes…”

He remained silent for a moment, his fingers lightly caressing your hand. "I didn't know," he whispered, though it was a lie. In truth, he was well aware. It was he who had kept you pure, watching and waiting for the perfect opportunity to claim your innocence for himself. He would never allow another man to take what rightfully belonged to him.

“But Xavier… I’m not sure I’m ready…”

His body tensed again at your refusal. He wanted you, and he was determined to ease your hesitation.

"Why not?" he asked, his voice warm and reassuring. "You like me, I like you. You don’t want anyone else, and neither do I. Wouldn't it feel right to do it with someone who’s been by your side your whole life, someone you love and could trust, instead of a stranger?"

He held your gaze, "those other men... they wouldn't take care of you like I would. They wouldn't be gentle–they wouldn't take their time with you. They'd just use you, Y/N.”

In your silence, Xavier took it as a small victory. Seeing you listening to him, processing his words, gave him hope that he was getting through to you, that you were listening to his reasoning. He pushed forward, continuing in a low, husky tone.

"They wouldn't treasure you like I would. They wouldn't make love to you the way I would. They wouldn't want to... to protect you, and cherish you, like I do.”

He could see the hesitation in your eyes, feel nervousness in your body as his fingers continued their path up your thigh, caressing your skin softly. He leaned in closer, his face mere inches from yours, his voice a low plea.

"Please... let me show you what it could be like... with me.”

Xavier's lips slowly melded into yours, breaking the final barrier of your resolve. His tongue brushed softly against your lips, testing, seeking entry as he drew you deeper into the kiss, making it clear he wanted all of you. When your mouth opened, he slipped in without hesitation, claiming the moment entirely. He explored each part of your mouth, tasting and savoring, leaving no doubt of his intent. His body pressed against yours, his weight grounding you, pinning you with a warmth that left you breathless.

His hands roamed your body, caressing your skin. He gripped your hips, pulling you closer to him, as if trying to merge your bodies into one.

He could feel your body trembling beneath his touch, the way your hands clung to his shoulders, trying to anchor yourself. He reveled in your response, the way you whimpered and mewled in his mouth, the way your body reacted to his every touch.

The heat of his mouth seared your skin as he trailed kisses down your neck, each one more intense than the last. Your head lolled back, giving him better access as he nipped and sucked, marking you as his. The sting of his teeth on your sensitive flesh sent jolts of pleasure straight to your core.

His hands roamed your body with a desperate urgency, as if he couldn't get enough of you. They slid under your shirt, caressing the smooth skin of your stomach before cupping your breasts. You gasped as he rolled your nipples between his fingers.

"G-Gentle…" you whimpered, your voice barely above a whisper.

"Sorry," he murmured, his voice rough. "I'll make it up to you."

His hands roamed your curves, one cupping your breast through the silky material. With a swift tug, he pulled the dress and your bra down, freeing your breasts from their confines. They spilled out, immediately pebbling without the warmth of your bra.

His eyes darkened with lust as he drank in the sight of you. He wrapped his arms around your lower back, pulling you flush against him as he dipped his head to capture a nipple between his lips. He suckled greedily, his tongue swirling around the sensitive bud.

His other hand came up to massage your neglected breast, kneading the soft flesh. He switched between your peaks, lavishing each one with attention until you were writhing against him, desperate for more.

Xavier released your breast with a wet pop, a string of saliva connecting his lips to your nipple. He trailed kisses up your chest, between your breasts, along your collarbone, before capturing your lips in a searing kiss. His tongue delved into your mouth, stroking against yours as he deepened the kiss.

One hand tangled in your hair, angling your head to give him better access. The other slid down your side, over the curve of your hip, before dipping between your thighs. He cupped your mound, his fingers rubbing slow circles over your clothed sex, inciting a hiss from you.

"You're so wet already," he smiled, his voice a low murmur.

He hooked his fingers into the sides of your panties, slowly dragging them down your legs. You lifted your hips to assist him, the cool air infiltrating from the open window hitting your heated skin. “X-Xavier…”

He smiled as he saw how wet you were. He spread your legs apart and ran his hand along your inner thigh, spreading them wider. "So pretty," he whispered, his eyes locked on your glistening pussy. He reached out and rubbed his thumb over your clit, making you jump.

“Relax," he whispered, his voice gentle. His touch became firmer, his thumb slowly rubbing circles over your hot, swollen nub. He watched your face intently, memorizing every gasp, every flush of your cheeks, every dilation of your pupils. "Have you touched yourself before?"

You nodded.

"Show me," he demanded, his voice low. He wanted to see what you liked, what you didn't. He wanted to know everything. He brought his other hand up to play with your breasts, pinching and rolling your peaks as he continued to toy with your core.

You peered up at him incredulously. "Xavier…–!"

"Please," he whispered. "I want to know. I want to know what you like, what feels good. Show me, please." His touch was hentley, coaxing.

Slowly, tentatively, your hand drifted downward, brushing over the soft curls at the apex of your thighs. Xavier's breath hitched as you parted your folds, revealing the glistening pink flesh beneath. "That's it," he encouraged, his gaze locked on your movements.

Your thighs clamped shut around your plunging fingers, but Xavier forcefully pried them apart. "Keep them spread," he instructed.

You let out a desperate whine, groping your breast as you frantically pumped your fingers in and out of your dripping slit.

"Shh," he soothed, his eyes never leaving your hand. "Add another finger. Stretch yourself for me."

"I-I can't..." you protested weakly.

He nodded his head as he slowly pushed one of his alongside yours, stretching you deliciously wide. "Yes you can," he breathed. His digit trailed down to join yours, stroking that spongy sweet spot deep inside. Your pussy clenched and fluttered around the stretch.

"Right there?" he asked, his voice low. He crooked his fingers inside of you, pressing against that spot over and over again. He watched your face contort in pleasure, your mouth falling open as you gasped. "Come for me.”

Your back arched off the bed as ecstasy crashed over you in waves, your inner walls clenching around his fingers as you reached your peak.

His dark eyes were transfixed, watching with rapt attention as his hand worked you through your release, prolonging your pleasure until you collapsed back against the sheets, spent and trembling. Slowly, he withdrew your slick finger from your dripping core and brought them to his lips. His tongue darted out, curling around your fingers as it lapped your essence, his eyes fluttering shut in bliss.

He leaned down and kissed you hard, his tongue sliding into your mouth so you could taste yourself on him. His hands flung to his pants and began to unfasten his belt with eagerness.

As his pants fell away, your eyes widened at the sight of his impressive manhood standing at full attention. The swollen head glistened with pearlescent drops of precum, the color a striking contrast to the milky smoothness of his skin. Prominent veins ran along the underside, pulsing with his heartbeat. He was magnificent, a work of art sculpted by stars itself.

"Sit up.”

You complied, your movements languid as you propped yourself up on your knees. Your breasts swayed enticingly with the motion, nipples pebbled and begging for attention. His eyes roamed over your body hungrily, drinking in every curve and valley.

He took your hand and guided it to his throbbing member, wrapping your fingers around his impressive girth. "Touch me," he breathed, "like this.” He showed you, moving your hand up and down his length.

As your fingers closed around him, he let out a low groan, his hips thrusting forward slightly. "Just like that," he encouraged.

You swallowed hard, a mix of nerves and excitement coursing through you. "Is this okay?" You asked softly, his length growing even harder in your grip.

"Squeeze a little tighter," he instructed, his voice strained with pleasure.

Focusing intently, you squeezed just as he asked, marveling at the way his shaft pulsed in your palm. Your eyes were glued to where your hand met his flesh, watching in fascination as you pumped him, his swollen head disappearing and reappearing with each stroke.

He hissed through his teeth, his head falling back. "Just like that," he praised. His hips jerked forward, his body tensing. "Harder," he groaned. He brought your other hand up to play with his balls, showing you how to gently roll and squeeze them.

He gripped your wrist, his breathing growing ragged. "Keep...keep doing that," he hissed. He thrust into your hands, his movements growing jerky. "I'm… I'm going to..." He broke off, his whole body convulsing as he came in your hands.

He threw his head back, tendons straining in his neck as he gulped. Releasing your hand, he gripped his own thighs, fingers digging into the firm flesh.

You gazed at your palm, glistening with his copious release. Mimicking his earlier actions, you brought your hand to your lips, tongue swirling around your fingers to lap up every drop of his thick, salty essence.

His eyes were riveted on your display. With a sigh, he asked you to lay back once more. Seizing your hips, he yanked you towards him, his face flushed and debauched, mouth agape. He reached out and gently spread your thighs, stepping between them, the swollen head of his cock nudged against your slick entrance.

“Condoms…!” You cried out, “Xavier, what about–”

"Shh, don't worry about that now," he said. "I'll pull out, I promise.”

His hungry gaze raked over your quivering form, committing every dip and swell to memory. "Don't look so nervous," he crooned. “I'm right here.”

"Be gentle..." You breathed. “Please.”

He smiled, though it didn't reach his eyes. You were adorable. "I'll be gentle.”

His fingers delved between your thighs, parting your slick folds to reveal your glistening entrance. He groaned at the sight. "So pretty.”

He then rubbed his thick head against your wetness, coating himself with your fluids. He pressed against your hole, his hips slowly pushing forward. He watched your face, his own contorted in concentration. "Breathe in," he instructed softly.

And before you actually could, he thrusted in.

“A-Ah!”

Tears streamed down your face as he gradually pushed deeper into your tight heat. He paused, allowing you a moment to acclimate to his impressive girth stretching you open. His fingers tenderly caressed your cheek, wiping away the salty drops. "You're doing so well," he praised softly. "Just a little more." With one powerful thrust, he hilted himself fully inside you, breaking through your barrier.

A sharp cry escaped your lips at the sudden sting of pain mixed with overwhelming fullness. Your nails dug into the sheets as you gripped them for dear life. "Wait... ngh... I can't..." you whimpered, trembling beneath him.

Xavier captured your mouth in a searing kiss, swallowing your cries. "Shh, you're okay. I'm all the way inside now," he murmured against your lips. He held still, letting you adjust to the intense new sensations as your body stretched to accommodate him. "Open your eyes. Focus on me and you'll forget the pain."

"Hmgh..."

He began to set at a slow, rhythmic pace, his hips gently rocking against yours. He grunted each time he bottomed out inside you. "Look at me," he commanded gruffly. "Open your eyes and look at me." He reached out and gently tilted your chin, forcing you to look up at him.

Your body clenched around him, the initial sting of pain gradually melting away into waves of pleasure. A breathy moan escaped your lips as you felt yourself surrender to the newer sensations.

Xavier's face tightened, and his head fell forward between his shoulders. "God, when you do that…" he hissed through gritted teeth. He continued to pump his hips, his rhythm growing faster. "Wrap your legs around my waist," he instructed hoarsely. "I'm gonna go a little faster."

You complied and wrapped your legs tightly around his waist, pulling him closer. When he mentioned he was going to pick up the pace, you weren't prepared for the relentless pounding that followed.

Bracing himself on his hands, he began to ruthlessly slam into you over and over again. Leaning down, he claimed your mouth in a rough, dominating kiss, muffling your desperate moans. His hips moved like a machine, driving into you with animalistic cruelty.

"G-Gentle...! Mgh–! P-Please!" you whimpered against his lips.

But Xavier was lost in his own pleasure, ignoring your pleas as he continued his merciless assault on your body. "You can handle it," he huffed. Gripping your hips, he adjusted your position, allowing him to plunge even deeper inside you. "You're too tight… I'll be gentle after I'm finished breaking you in."

"X-Xavier…! Xav–Ngh!"

He reached between your legs and grabbed your wrists, pulling them above your head as he continued to ravage you. His face was a mask of intense concentration as he continued to thrust into you, his hips moving like a piston. "You're so loud," he hissed, his voice thick with passion.

"Xavier! Xavier!"

His thrusts slowed to a torturous crawl, allowing you a moment to catch your breath before he hoisted your legs up onto his broad shoulders and folded you nearly in half. The new angle allowed him to plunge even deeper, the thick head of his cock kissing your cervix with each powerful stroke. Your back arched off the bed as your arms wrapped around his neck, nails digging into his sweat-slicked skin. A strangled moan tore from your throat.

His hands gripped your thighs hard enough to bruise, holding you open for his relentless assault. "Look at how deep I am," he panted, watching as he pistoned in and out of your tightness. "Look how well we fit together."

"It's too much… please... please..." You babbled, your voice hitching with every thrust to your cervix. "Xavier... it hurts…!"

"It's supposed to," he grunted. "It feels good, though, right? Just bear it a little more. I'm almost done." He let your legs drop, pushing your knees to your chest as he pounded into you.

Your nails raked down his back, leaving long, ten crimson trails in their wake. Xavier grunted in pain, his face contorting as he thrust into you harder. "Mark me all you want," he huffed. "I'll mark you right back." He buried his face in your neck and bit down hard, sucking on your skin as he continued to thrust into you.

"Ahh! Yes! Fuck!" you cried out, your words dissolving into incoherent babble. "You prom–eh…! you promised…!”

Xavier's eyes were closed, his face buried in your neck as he fucked you without a care in the world. The sound of his hips slapping against yours echoed in the room, mixing with your screams and pleas. "God… fuck, fuck," he chanted to himself, his voice muffled against your skin.

"You're so meannnn," you whimpered, drawing out the word as a sob caught in your throat.

Xavier's eyes flashed, dark and feral, as he lifted his head. "I'm mean?" he growled, voice dripping with mock hurt. His fingers dug into your hips as he pulled you flush against him. "You're the one getting off on this, aren't you? I can feel how wet you are." To punctuate his point, he reached between your legs and rubbed your clit roughly, making you gasp and arch into his touch.

He gripped your chin firmly, forcing your gaze to meet his intense stare. "Look at me," he commanded, voice low and dominant. "I want to see those eyes glazed when I make you come undone. When I claim every inch of you as mine.”

Xavier groaned, his thrusts becoming even more brutal. "You're gonna make such a pretty mess."

The words were like a match to gasoline, igniting the inferno raging inside you. With a keening cry, you shattered, your walls clamping down and bursting as ecstasy consumed you.

Xavier's eyes widened as he felt your walls clench around him, your orgasm triggering his own. "Ah! Yes…–yes!" he cried, his hips stuttering. With a final, brutal thrust, he buried himself deep inside you and came, his hot seed spurting against your cervix.

Xavier let out a low groan, his body trembling as he filled you. His grip on your thighs loosened, his hand caressing the marked skin gently. As he came down from his high, Xavier's pace slowed, his hips rolling forward in shallow thrusts as he milked the last of his release into you.

Your eyes fluttered shut, the world fading away until only the pulsing pleasure remained. With a final shuddering gasp, you surrendered to the overwhelming sensations, your consciousness slipping away.

His arms wrapped around you, holding you close as you went limp beneath him. He peppered your face with gentle kisses, his touch at odds with the rough way he'd just taken you. "Shh, sleep now," he murmured softly, "You did so well.”

As much as he didn’t want to leave, he gently began to slip out of bed, his body trembling, spent. He pulled the blankets up around you, making sure you were wrapped warmly before crossing the room to close the window. Quietly, he turned to his closet, carefully reaching for his lightseeker uniform and slipping it on, moving with a gentle but determined grace.

He searched for his sword, finally spotting the star-tasseled handle hidden under the bed. Just as he reached for it, he felt a soft weight on his head, your hand, draped sleepily over him.

He froze, worried he might've woken you–worried he would have to explain he wasn't abandoning, but saving you–, but then you let out a soft, contented snore, and he couldn’t help but smile. Slowly, he lifted your hand, pressing a tender kiss to the back before leaning down to brush his lips across your forehead, damp with extertion.

“I’ll be back soon,” he whispered, voice barely more than a breath. “I love you.”

[chaos-in-deepspace]

LADS: Different Face, Same Heart | SFW

This started off as a simple post and then I decided to format it. This isn't my normal drabble for the boys, it's just something off the top of my head.

Consider, and I'm sure someone has already mentioned it before at some point, but in ever reincarnation of MC it's more of a soul thing, not a physical thing. So MC's appearance changes in every lifetime.

The guys have to start going off vibes alone to figure out who MC is.

(Look at me and listen to this. With Zayne we're unsure about how much he remembers about his past with MC. We know he knows about Dawnbreaker, but the other lifetimes it's not confirmed. With Sylus, we only have a single Myth for him and it gave us limited details with the man. If we're going off all the other LI's, we can kind of assume he did know MC in a past reincarnation. With that being said, Zayne and Sylus won't be accurate for this. Consider it an an extra au for them, okay? This was just quickly jotted down at my brain worked overtime.)

Xavier

Imagining Xavier who sees you as just another coworker. He doesn't give you much attention. Sure you were friendly enough with him, but he had other things to be concerned about. Then one day he finds himself battling alongside. You block an attack from him and say something that he recognizes. There's a certain fight in your eyes that has his breath stopping as he realizes who it is.

He found you.

He didn't think he ever would. While you looked different, and you didn't have that royal aura about you anymore, there's still that familiar fire behind your eyes that he had grown to love. When he brings you to Philo and you meet Jeremiah, the florist takes a few moments talking to you.

When you leave he turns to Xavier and just says that you look as breathtaking as ever. Xavier is only a little pouty Jeremiah found out right away, but he also guesses he didn't originally give you the time of day when you first met. He's sure if he had actually gotten to know you, he could've figured it out sooner...probably.

Zayne

Imagining Zayne who sees you as just a childhood friend that he moved away from. He has a few fond memories of you two together, and after finding out about your heart condition it made him want to study cardiology. He wasn't actively trying to save you or anything like that, but he knew he'd be going down the medical route with his parents influence, so why not go with something he's interested in?

Then one day you're at an appointment you notice just how tired he looks. You cross the boundaries of a patient with their doctor. Cupping his cheek and holding him so gently, telling him he needs to take care of himself. That gentle, caring look in your eyes...he remembered them.

He doesn't recall how he remembers, but he just knows it's you he's been searching for. His normally unexpressive face just looks at you in awe for a moment because you've literally taken his breath away. He's almost shaking and for a moment you think his evol is harming him.

He needs to take a moment to steel himself, promising you there is nothing wrong. Perhaps he did need some rest, but he also needed to get a proper meal in him. He isn't surprised when you immediately asked if he would be okay with getting dinner with you. Normally he accept only if he had time, but now he'd have to find ways to make more time for you. After all, you were the part of him he didn't even realize he was searching so hard to find.

Rafayel

Imagining Rafayel who initially sees you as useful. You're unassuming, but strong. So why not have you be his bodyguard since Thomas is always telling him he needs one? Plus you're always working so if doesn't want an escort he can just tell Thomas you were working that day.

Then one night, on Ebb Day, you dropped in to help him. He was already feeling terrible, his entire body was hot and he swore it was the only reason you looked so divine that evening. Then you began being concerned, didn't freak out about him being a Lemurian.

Then he tried dragging you to his lap, wanting physical touch, to feel you moving on his body, and he didn't know why because he only ever had eyes on his beloved bride/groom.

Then you tell him to stop. And he felt it. He didn't have a choice. The subtle feeling of the bond was almost overtaking him. When he was in his right state of mind later, he was able to realize who you were, and he'd do anything to keep you by his side, as long as you'd let him. He couldn't bring himself to hate you, he never could.

Maybe this time, he could have a happy ending with you, and with his people.

Sylus

Imagining Sylus who initially sees you as someone with an Aether core in your heart, and had a powerful skill that he could use. You both had a reason to use one another, so why not take advantage of it?

You were adorable in his eyes, although a bit annoying with your insistence for some things. You painted him as the worst person in the world, and while he was in his eyes a horrible person, you were accusing him of things he didn't do, which was where the annoyance came along.

Then suddenly the link happened. You were tied to him for an entire day. Going to bed that night had been a struggle for you, not wanting to sleep with him. He assured you he would stay on his side, but come morning you were curled into his side with his arm around you. He didn't even know how that happened. The strangest part was he had slept, something he didn't often do easily.

This felt familiar. All too familiar. Then you nuzzled into his side, murmuring something as he tried waking you up. The link was gone physically, but he just knew. How could he have been so damn blind? It was you. Different look, but still as breathtaking as the first time he saw you so long ago.

[cherimoyatea]

❧ Rafayel - Midnights

Pairing: Rafayel x You Synopsis: Rafayel has a hard decision to make as the night fades into dawn. Word Count: 1.188K Tags: sea of golden sand, abysswalker rafayel, female reader:princess MC, smut, angst, angst, angst, mentioning of his lore MDNI: suggestive content in the first half⚠️ Side Notes: Am I writing Abysswalker smut and blushing on mildly suggestive content? Maybe. It's not like I don't have the wildest thoughts in the back of my head, but it seems like I can't overcome my comfort zone and write them out. So, I'm taking a more poetic route this time, cowardly leaving the spicy part to your imagination until I feel ready to paint the full picture... 👀💦 Please don't hate me.

''Not yet, your Highness...'' Rafayel purrs softly into your ear as you shift beneath him, making the rough sheets rustle as you move. His warm breath on your skin sends a magnitude of sparks through your body—crying for relief as his slick tongue glides out, trailing down your sensitive neck.

Marking it with burning kisses.

You are the Princess of Philos, the heiress of a kingdom. Garbed in the finest robes, your hair adorned with fragrant petals. You live a prestigious life in your palace, which lacks nothing.

And yet you are here. With him.

Sharing a simple furnished room in a low-priced hotel with the lavender-haired Lemurian. Until dawn breaks.

Night after night, you escape the comfort of your luxurious bedchamber to find shelter in a run-down area of the town. Willingly, you follow him through dark alleys and narrow sidewalks to avoid curious eyes. Placing your trust in him as he guides you carefully through the dimly lit streets until you arrive at your destination for a moment of intimacy.

Nobody bats an eye if a couple shows up at a place like this late after midnight and disappears before sunrise.

''Rafayel...'' You call out his name yearningly, ignoring the drunken voices and chants, coming faintly from the streets as you lay on the hard mattress of the wooden bed.

His weight pressing against your body only heightens your longing while you nervously fumble with the straps of his purple-black armor to unbuckle them. You have been craving him all day, and there is no way you're willing to wait any longer.

''I wish to have you! Now! I need—ah!''

A gasp escapes your lips as Rafayel suddenly grabs your wrist, stopping you from opening the straps and revealing his toned skin to you.

He pins it next to your head, amused by the persistence in your voice. ''So eager tonight, are we Princess?'' Your beloved whispers teasingly before pulling away from the crook of your neck to gaze at your blushed face.

''And so bold!'' He adds with a smug grin while his pink-blue eyes almost devour you. ''Did your Highness forget that I don't accept orders from her? This rundown place is not her realm, and I am not her servant.''

You return his gaze and notice the pink hue spreading on the Lemurian's cheeks and ears, his chest slightly heaving. He is clearly as tense as you and equally anticipating what is about to come.

''You don't ask me to beg for it, do you?'' You reply in a shaky voice, trying to calm your quickened breathing as much as you can.

For a brief moment, you contemplate talking back. But given your situation, you fear it would only lead to further restrictions so instead, you choose to give in.

''If that's your wish...''

Trying to read into those sunset eyes, as if all your unspoken wishes were answered by them, you relax your tense body before you hear your voice. Firm yet soft. ''Please, allow me to have you, to taste you... I beg you, don't turn me away like this...''

''Hm?'' Rafayel's eyes go wide in surprise, caught off guard, unprepared for your abrupt change in demeanor. You couldn't be more beautiful to him than in this very moment—lying all vulnerable and disheveled beneath him. Searching, asking for permission with those lovestruck eyes he adores so much.

And now you are begging to drink from his luscious lips, to be claimed by him. How could he ever resist your charm?

''R-Rafayel I...'' Your breath hitches as he suddenly captures your lips in a kiss, giving in to his own desire to answer your craving as his hand releases your wrist and moves to your chest, slowly unraveling the front ribbon of your dress...

...and only the moonlight that falls through the thin, swaying curtains bears witness to two lovers intertwined in the rough rustling sheets...

A pair of glimmering orbs appears in the darkness of the hotel room as Rafayel opens his eyes. He still lies awake, long after you fell asleep—spent from your passionate love-making. You slumber safe and sound in the arms of your beloved, unaware of the grim thoughts occupying his mind at this late hour.

''Your Quintessence... time is running out!''

The Lemurian moves his head in irritation as if trying to shake off the Elders plea that rings in his ears during these moments of silence. He carefully slides his arm from under your sleeping form, anxious about waking you, and sits up in bed.

Leaning against the headrest, he closes his eyes and sighs deeply as the words that doom him spiral down once again. Words like a cursed spell that numbs his body and leaves him without hope:

''You must complete the prophecy. Obtain her heart. Your heart. Awaken the seas, rebuild Lemuria.''

And tonight he will reclaim his heart from you.

Rafayel steadies himself and raises a hand to summon his dagger, gripping its hilt tightly. He then shifts his gaze to you, determined to take back what belongs to him. His glimmering eyes turn a shade darker as he moves the blanket from your upper half, revealing your bare skin.

Beads of sweat run down his temples as he hovers the sharp tip of his dagger over your chest, which he caressed and kissed so passionately only moments ago. His breath comes out in labored gasps as he feels his heart pounding against his ribs, knowing he is about to take yours.

''Mhm... I love you...''

The Lemurian abruptly freezes in his movements and holds his breath as you shift in your sleep, rolling to your side. Your innocent, sleep-drunken murmurs pull him back to his senses, and he quickly moves the dagger away from your sleeping form.

''Love, huh?'' With a swift move the dagger vanishes into thin air and a shaky sigh escapes Rafayel's lips. Once more, he finds himself reminded of something: If he dies, then Lemuria dies with him. But if you die, he loses all meaning to live.

He slumps back onto the mattress beside you, watching you breathe calmly, unaware of the threat that surrounded you just moments ago. You are more than willing to give your heart to him, he's aware of that.

But how will he ever find the strength to claim it from you?

''Not tonight...'' He whispers to himself while nuzzling up to you. Inhaling your flowery scent, taking in the warmth of your body as he grabs the blanket and covers both of you.

In just a few hours, morning will break. And then he will need to wake you up to sneak you back into your bedchamber before anyone notices your absence, while he remains in the desert's ambush. Until he can see you again at midnight.

But for now, you are here, and you are his.

No. Tonight is not the night. Just as the night before wasn't. And the night before last...

And deep down, he knows his days are numbered—his blackened flame will eventually extinguish and fade before he ever lays a finger on his beloved bride.

Thank you for reading!

Cheri 🍒

[yeosatinyngz]

BIRTHDAY SURPRISE

↳GN Reader: You’re planning a surprise celebration for Xavier’s birthday but he suspects that you’re cheating on him | wc: 1127

A/N: Y’all already know what today is!! It’s the loml’s Birthday, everybody say Happy Birthday to Xavier!!🥰🥳 To celebrate I gift to y’all this oneshot, enjoy!

Anxious. That’s what Xavier has been feeling for the past few days after carefully watching you. You were being sneaky for no reason, constantly on your phone and going as far as placing your phone face down whenever a notification popped up.

There’s no way right? You can’t be cheating on him right? The dark thoughts clouds his mind and before he could be drowned by them he was pulled out by your voice calling out to him. He snapped out of it and looked at you confused, “Huh?” “I was asking you what we should do about dinner, do you want me to cook or order takeout?”

He quickly mumbled out that ordering takeout would be fine and tried to get his mind off those unsettling thoughts. However he couldn’t help the fact that those thoughts kept creeping up at the back of his mind, to the point that it kept him up all night.

The following day, Xavier decided that he would stop by Philo to ask Jeremiah for advice. He was shocked to find out that you were there. He was going to enter the store but stopped after seeing Jeremiah hand a bouquet over to you, you excitedly jumped up and down and hugged him which shattered Xavier’s hearts into pieces.

He immediately turns around and walks back home, alone with his thoughts that suffocated him more and more. Were you cheating on him with Jeremiah??

It was another sleepless night for Xavier. He decided to confront you today and walked down to your apartment with determination. He knocked on your door, his heartbeat quickening as he anxiously waited for you to open the door.

You opened the door slowly and cautiously peeked your head out. “Oh Xav, what brings you here?” He gives you a perplexed look, “Do I need a reason to visit my partner?” You let out a nervous laugh, “Of course not.” “Can I come in?” He questioned while trying to step in.

However, you were quick to block him from stepping inside your apartment. Frantically you excuse yourself saying, “Uh my apartment is currently really messy and I wouldn’t want you to see the state it’s in.” He raised an eyebrow at you, “You know I don’t care about that right?”

Xavier looks down and spots a pair of men’s shoes. Specifically Jeremiah’s shoes and at this point he was a second away from bursting out. You were quick to shove him back spewing out, “Come back later when I text you to, I’ll have my apartment cleaned by then, ok byeee” and then you proceeded to slam the door in front of his face.

Xavier scoffs in disbelief at the stunt you just pulled and grumpily walks back up to his apartment.

You texted Xavier to come down and excitedly wait for him. It took you weeks of planning to get to this point and you imagined his reaction in your head so many times, you were finally gonna be able to surprise him.

You heard his familiar knocks and asked Jeremiah to get the door for you as you were going to the kitchen to get Xavier’s cake and the bouquet of flowers that Jeremiah chose for you specifically for Xavier.

“SUR-“ The word surprise was caught in your throat when you witnessed the scene before you. What you returned to was Xavier aggressively grabbing Jeremiah’s collar and his other hand in a fist ready to strike. “STOP” you shouted in panic. Xavier turns his attention towards you, eyes full of anger. His anger was quick to dissipate when he looks down at the cake in your hands with icing that wrote “Happy Birthday Xavier” and the bouquet of flowers in your hands. It was like a sudden light bulb clicked in his head and he was finally grasping the situation at hand.

He was quick to let go of the poor trembling Jeremiah who was quick to run and hide behind you. “Get your crazy boyfriend under control please.” You looked at Xavier with a glare, “What’s gotten into you? What was all that about?”

He looks away, ears red with embarrassment. Whispering out, “I may or may not have thought that you were cheating on me with Jeremiah.” Your eyes widened in shock as you shoved the cake and flowers into Jeremiah’s hands and walked towards your lover. “I’m sorry for acting all suspicious and making you think I was cheating on you, I was just putting together your birthday surprise party. You know that I only love you right? And no offense to Jeremiah but do you seriously think I would leave you for someone like him?” “HEY! I have feelings too, you know.” Jeremiah chimed in before a glare from Xavier shut him up.

“I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions, to be fair I was coming to confront you but got angry after seeing Jeremiah’s stupid face.” “Ugh I don’t even know why I even helped to set this surprise party up if you were going to be so rude.” Jeremiah grumbled out loud, you couldn’t help but laugh out loud at his comment. “Alright alright, Xav apologize to the poor dude before we start witnessing his villain origin story.”

“I’m sorry for my words and actions, that was not my proudest moment and I hope you can forgive me for them.” “I’ve seen worse from you, apology is accepted although I think you have some making up to do.” Xavier sighs, “Fair is fair.” An evil look takes over Jeremiah’s face for a split second and you couldn’t even start to imagine what Jeremiah would make Xavier do to accept his apology.

Anyways, now that the whole ordeal was dealt with you resumed with the party and lit up the candles for Xavier to blow out. Once it was blown out you all broke out into a sea of applause. Not long after that all the guests were off doing their own thing and you and Xavier were alone in the kitchen. You smiled as you watched him happily eat the cake that you baked for him.

“You have a little something.” You tell him as he just finished up his cake slice. He looked up to you in surprise with those cute big blue ocean eyes of his, “Can you help me get it please?” “Of course, my love.” You leaned forward and connected your lips with his. His shock was quickly overtaken as he closed his eyes and melted into the sweet kiss. You slowly pulled away before whispering softly into his ear, “Happy Birthday Xavier.” His ears were quick to flush red as he leaned in once again to find the comfort and warmth of your sweet lips.

[ice-cream-writes-stuff]

Girlie pop, to say im obsessed with ur LADS self aware mc au would be AN UNDERSTATEMENT!!! There's so many things that could happen in this universe with our oblivious non mc mc. Like imagine them trying to ask out like one of their "sidekicks" on a date and the LAD boys are like "no". And MC being a lobe interest to?!??! My bi little heart is melting. I love it so much!!!! I hope you will continue this serious (that's if u want to that is) keep up the good work honey ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[Aw! Thank You! Here's a little something for your kind words]

-

{ERroR} - Side Story Featuring: MC, (Y/N) and Xavier and Rafayel

Rushing into the quaint little flower shop, you inhale a deep breath. Twirling around through the shop as if it was a dance club, eagerly taking in the sights of different flowers left and right. Including the soft fragrances gracing your senses!

"U-Um... May I help you?" A small voice pipes up by the register.

Turning your gaze to the red-head, a sharp grin breaks out on your face.

-

After chatting it up while snooping and buy a few things, you walk to the checkout counter.

"...So that's a dozen and.... Half of the stock..." He gapes at the giant bundle of flowers in your arms, a few wayward blossoms on your scalp as you gleefully hand him the amount to pay.

"You seem to really like flowers?" He puts away the cash in the register and heads to the entrance door. Opening it for you as shrug, walking carefully to the exit. "It's a gift, there's this guy... He's so..."

"So your buying him flowers?" "Kinda? There's also this one guy that lives by place, oh! And this girl that stops by my work! You might know her!"

"I... Doubt that."

You wink, grabbing a random flower from your strange bouquet, placing it on his curly locks.

"Hmm- Well, ya' never know!"

Waving you out, he watches you giggle, strutting out of Philo eagerly. The young man sighs, locking up shop once your figure went further.

-

After stuffing Rafayel's mailbox full of flowers, you head on your merry way. A few still stuck on your clothes and strewn about petals lingering in your hair.

"Hi Xavier,~!" You say cheerily, seeing his body in the distant. Going further, you block out the alarm from the city as people fled the opposite direction. The blonde didn't seem to hear you though, so you marched onwards.

Blinking at a Wander stuck in your path, you frown, eyeing it blankly as it seemed frightened by you. It sounds of fear becoming louder as you walk closer, alerting it's brethren. Yet none seemed to help their comrade, focused on their own battles.

"!esimORP I ,yako-o-o-o S'Ti"

You spoke in kind as it shuffles back, sighing. You walk through the mass, ignoring the sounds it made. The small Protocore drops into you palms. Stuffing into your shirt, you keep pace.

-

"Miss Bodyguard!" Rafayel whined with a huff, toying with the one of the flowers you had left the other day. The female in question rolls her eyes at the painter, begrudgingly giving her attention to him.

"Yes-"

"Where is that cafe?! Please!" He begged, his cheeks a light red at having to beg at this point. Putting his pride aside, eyes hugs the few flowers that weren't placed into vases or folded into books. Maybe he could use them for his next piece...

"No, not telling." MC crossed her arms, not wanting him to intrude on HER go-to pick-me up spot.

"Why not?" He groaned, flopping beside the female hunter as she stood up from the spot. Watching her gaze fondly at a specific flower, tracing over the green petals.

"I'm sure my admirer would love to have their cute gesture returned in ten-fold..." He states proudly. His eyes re-reading over the note that came with, silly and sappy to his delight. Holding up the card to the light, grinning at the faint print of your fingertips.

MC stiffens as he continues his daydream, "they'll happily jump into my arms at such a present."

"Not if I get them something nicer." She teases bluntly, seeing his haughty smirk drop in a matter of seconds. The two smile at one another, the challenging looks shared did not go unnoticed by his manager.

-

Ugly sobs leave you, hugging the blonde to your body tightly. He shivers at the buzzing his gave at the contact. Letting his head rest to the crook of your neck. Gaze sharp at those who wished to witness the action. "Xavier! You're okay!"

"I... Yes."

He tries to ignore the thoughts of you, wishing he could focus on this moment. Though the trail of Protocore's behind you...

-

[Another side story! Who knew? Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed it! Thought's if I should include the event stories? Maybe?? I wanted to expand a little on Non-MC for this AU snippet. Just a little- I wanted add MORE detail. But ya'll will figure it out anyway! Thanks for reading!]

[empty-vessel-of-a-person]

End Game

Who's LaDS men MC is going to end up with

Well, how about I say it will be all of them?

Correct me if I am wrong, but Infold confirms that the boys timeline is separate from each. Meaning MC's story with LaDS Men are separate and in a different reality from each other.

So no matter what happened, no matter who we choose, we are going to end up with them.

Given that analogy, here is my delulu ending for each LaDS Men.

Xavier

Xavier is going to find a way to separate the Aether core from MC, saving her and ultimately saving his people as well.

I'm not 100 percent familiar with Xavier's Myth, but I think that Philo's remaining people know that MC has the power to keep their planet alive, making her the ultimate sacrifice. But Xavier is just not going to let them do that to her.

Once everything settles, Xavier is going to finally keep his promise to MC and take her to another planet where there is a sea of flowers.

The little star and his goddess will finally be able to rest, he will finally be able to tell her everything and they will spend all of their years together.

Rafayel

Same with Xavier, he will finally find a way to separate the Aether core from MC. Saving her and will find a way to give back to his people. He was always torn between the love of his life and his people but ending up losing both in the process.

(Although I don't love Rafayel romantically, I did have a soft spot for him. This guy bears too much weight on his shoulder and it's a great mystery to me how he is still able to smile. Let me cry for him for a bit)

Once he was able to save her and revive his civilization, he was finally able to rest. Exploring the vastness of the ocean and watching the sunset with her every day.

Zayne

I imagine his ending differently, instead of him finding a way to save MC, it will be the other way around.

MC will find a way to separate the Aether core from her heart and use it against Astra, free him and finally save him from his all consuming EvoL. She just loves Zayne so much

They will finally be able to be together. No more fearing to be torn apart to save one another and finding each other in the next lifetime.

Once they finally settle in Linkon as an ordinary citizen, Zayne will be able to finally tell her he loves her.

Sylus

This will be 100 percent delulu as we do not know much about him.

But let's take one of the most popular theories out there. The one Sylus turning into a wanderer and MC have to end him.

In the end, they will find a way to resonate with each other to free themselves from the Aether core on their body and use it to stop all the wanderers and save themselves in being one.

Since Linkon will be free of danger, MC decided to stay with Sylus in the N109 zone. Linkon will be labeling MC as MIA from the final battle against the wanderers.

Sylus will then stop all his illegal dealings and focus on his other business like his resorts and karaoke bar.

(sorry I just have to add that because Sylus seems to be fond of singing but singing is not fond of him) 😅😅😅😅😅

[karmathenightowl]

POV: You work for/with Dracula

There's only one episode out right now but it has become my current form of brain rot I love it so much

Had so much fun trying out new brushes, researching visual references, and rendering them! I think this was the first piece where I used more than 20 references for as well (probably 50 especially for Lady Godwin's design ;D) and honestly the most fun part was designing their outfits!

Brother Philo (or Filo..?) with of course his robe. Mutt's outfit was also simple in design, but I really wanted his fur coat to give off this soft yet rugged vibe to it. I also actually looked up Sam Elliot for references per Travis' description haha

And then there's Lady Elizabeth Godwin. Oh WOW. I had a blast with this one. When she asked for clothes, I imagined Igor making an outfit for her based off any scraps he had in his lab. I also found a pic of a Victorian theatre actress wearing a guard costume with material that looked like chainmail. I'd imagine Godwin would wear something like that as some form of armor while trying to still look somewhat fancy :)

[kykyonthemoon]

Under The Shooting Stars

A millennium has passed since I sat on the throne of Philos, now Xavier only exists in my memories.

── .✦ Xavier x Reader (MC)

♡︎. Tags: (heavy) angst, hurt no comfort, tragedy, emotional hurt, myths related, oneshot.

♡︎. Word count: 1000w

♡︎. Requested by Felicia Keller.

♡︎. Ky Ky's note: This story is closely tied to Xavier's first myth: Shooting Stars and written in first point of view. Please consider reading his myth before this fic, or refrain from proceeding if you do not want any spoiler.

── .✦ My L&D Masterlist

── .✦ Request a fic - closed for the time being.

The afternoon sun sprinkled kisses on my face. I awoke on the roof of a high tower, where the bell began to ring right in my ear.

“Are you awake?” A familiar voice rang out. Right after that, two soft hands swiftly covered my ears as I grimaced from the bell's loudness. 

“Xavier?” I called. That person smiled at me.

“It's time for your class.”

The bell eventually ceased ringing. I rose up and grabbed his hand in haste. 

“Don't go…”

Yet, he disappeared.

“Your Majesty, what do you think of our performance today?”

I turned back to look at the group of young students at Astria Knyght Academy. They were anxiously awaiting my comments. I focused my attention on the pair who had recently dueled each other. A boy and a girl. Two of the greatest knights in training here. They were around the same age as he and I at the time. 

"Excellent. Both of you.”

They bowed. 

“We always strive to become your Knights, Your Majesty!”

“The future of Philos is in your hands.” I smiled at them. After that, the crowd dispersed and I caught a glimpse of the two clasping their hands together. 

“If the two of them compete against us, who do you think will win?” 

I looked up towards the statue of the Holy Sword of the Goddess, where Xavier was standing with his arms crossed. His back was drenched in midday sunlight. The scent of wavyleaf sea lavenders wafted in the air.

I replied: "That depends on whether you want to skip class today or not." 

Xavier's laughter echoed in the wind. I blinked. When I looked back, no one remained where he stood. 

This was where Xavier and I used to duel a lot back in those days. He was the best knight of the Starhunters, and I was the top student from the Moonchasers. He was the prince, and I was the sword that would protect him. Everyone believed he and I were true rivals. Nobody would have imagined that the sword clashes were mainly for his convenience in skipping class or avoiding messengers from the palace.

I proceeded walking, leaving the Academy behind. I traveled alone through the trees, following the trail to Starfall Forest. This place had been sealed ever since my coronation. Except for me, no one could step foot in there anymore.

Its mysteries remained buried. But I knew that I would not last much longer if Xavier did not come back.

“Wait for me.”

How long? Seven days? Two hundred years? Or a millennium?

I was always left behind like that. Still, I could not stop waiting. Hope became my breath, my sky and my stars. I could not give it up. Even when waiting was like poison, causing me to slowly die on the high throne. 

If Philos did not consume me first, my love for him would.

This planet was dying. I was dying.

Since my coronation, I had not permitted any soul to come to Starfall Forest merely to die. But Philos still needed to be fed. That was why, every year, I discreetly ventured deep into the forest, using my own power to quench its hunger. I knew that was not enough. It was never enough. But this would allow me to hold on a bit longer until Xavier returned.

Would he return?

Or was it just another lie?

I opened my eyes to see a sky full of stars across my eyes. I was still in the wilderness, unconscious since I had lost so much power. Alive, still.

Little specks of light, resembling fireflies, emerged around me. The person seated in front of me was staring at me with care. I sat up, leaning against the tree. My trembling hand continued to reach forward, until I touched his face. 

“Xavier…”

“I'm here. You are not dreaming. I really came back…”

My hand clenched into a fist. I wanted to punch Xavier for leaving for so long. Yet I could not do it. I could only stare at him, tears obscuring the forest and the stars. He drew me closer and held me.

“I'm sorry. For keeping you waiting.”

I sobbed aloud.

“I'm so weary, Xavier… I don't know how much longer I can do this anymore…”

"You rest. I will be by your side. Always."

Staying here was my decision. Becoming Queen was also my choice. But that did not mean that I was strong enough to get through this all alone.

For a thousand years.

I was in agony, I was angry, I even resented Xavier. Even so, I could never forget him. I always chased his silhouette in the sky, every time a star fell. Where was he amid the abundance of stars out there?

It seemed I finally understood what it meant to love someone when they did not care about you at all. It seemed I finally understood why he always chased after her, even when she had entirely forgotten him.

I was the only one left in Philos. For the last millennium, there was solely me. 

Every morning, I would wear that crown on my head, smile at my people, and tell them how prosperous Philos was. I would go around all the places he had been to, hunting for his traces in every fragmented recollection of us. Every night, I would stare up into the sky to look for shooting stars. My hope would be lit up again with each star that fell; perhaps one of them would be his returning spaceship.

He forgot me, right?

“Xavier… Don't leave, please?…”

Xavier gently stroked my back and placed a kiss on my hair. 

“Wait for me.”

How long? Seven days? Two hundred years? Or a millennium?

My tears had dried up. The fireflies eventually died. The warmth that enveloped me vanished into the darkness. Up in the sky, a star fell. Yet it did not bring him back to me.

-The end-

[hirayaea]

What I see most is people criticizing both Xavier and Queen MC, even though, as you yourself said, their relationship is more complex than it seems! Queen MC's duty as a defense mechanism and Xavier's focus on discreetly wanting to save her.

But now I'm curious, do you think Xavier would have run away with Queen MC if she insisted?👀

hello anon (о´∀`о)

that is a shame, because the lightseeker era actually gives a lot of insight to xavier’s personality, and it explains why his persona is so complex!

lightseeker xavier is a prince tasked with carrying the legacy of philos, but he when he finds this legacy is actually bathed in the blood of the woman he loves, instead of choosing one or the other, he decides to explore a third option (which is operation backtrack).

while all the details haven’t been revealed, we do know that xavier has been, for hundreds of years, trying to find a way to save mc from death. but, we also know that he wants philos to prosper (i forget what he says in English, but in Japanese he definitely says “may the planet of Philos last everlasting”). when he leaves mc in the lightseeker era, these are definitely his goals.

however, I also believe that if xavier were cornered into a choice, he would probably choose mc. and, the only person that can convince him to choose otherwise (like choose philos instead) would be mc herself.

hence i think, if queen mc had told xavier very clearly, that she wanted to run, he would have dropped everything and brought her to uluru and they could live until philos’ core expired or until one of them perished. but i also think that both of them know, deep down, that neither of them are that selfish. both of them have a strong sense of duty to each other and to their people, and running would mean abandoning all of that. one of them (likely mc) would probably hesitate and say, “we have to go back”.

their hesitation to abandon their duty is actually what makes them such great characters, because they are so upright and strong but they acknowledge they sometimes waver in their own beliefs.

however, from present time onwards, i feel that there will be a disconnect in how strongly they feel about their responsibilities simply because of how xavier is the same person all throughout time while mc resets as she reincarnates.

i imagine that as time went by xavier’s priorities might have changed and he may be leaning towards choosing mc without thinking of saving philos anymore. some of the anecdotes actually hint at this (that maybe he should just abandon traceback II and settle down). however, he’s obviously still not decided (he told jeremiah that one day, he’ll get them all home).

i’m really excited to see how this will all unfold because so far this story is so wonderfully written, and the complexities only make me hungry for more

again I’d be happy to discuss more cause I do have a lot of thoughts (sooo sorry for rambling)

thank you!