#phandelver game

[jorvikzelda]

Cries a little bit on the bus like a normal person, because I, like a normal person, cannot handle things going Very Wrong In Ways Unaccounted For and, against my better judgment, I today did not account for things going Very Wrong In Ways Unaccounted For

[marigoldmorrigan]

I don’t think any of my players have found me here yet, so a gift for you all: details from my DnD Campaign 😈

My first time DMing a campaign, we’re running Lost Mine of Phandelver 5e with a lot of homebrew and we’ll likely continue on with homebrew after the adventure book wraps up.

The party (Warforged Sorcerer, Half-Orc Ranger, and Shifter Fighter) went to the abandoned town of Conyberry to talk to Agatha the Banshee and check out Old Owl Well. They slept in the ruins of an inn and I sent them on a time travel arc to help the town as it was 100 years ago (and give them perspective on a bunch of lore)

We’ve just finished the time-travel arc and now they don’t know what day it is or how long they’ve been gone because I messed with the moon. 🥰 I let them go talk to the orcs at Wyvern Tor (who are not evil in my game) and now they’re off to Thundertree before they circle back to Phandalin where I will maybe actually tell them what day it is.

[prettychillbrainfreeze]

Flash back to the Cure of Strahd horror house that nearly tpk’d my entire party 😭😵‍💫😵

truly in this instance, the house always wins

phrases like "the house always wins" and "it's on the house" but used to imply that the building you're in is alive and personally invested in the situation

[slugdragoon]

Dungeon Appreciation Post #2 - Cragmaw Hideout (Lost Mines of Phandelver, D&D 5e Starter Set)

This will be a simple one, it's not a very big dungeon, but Lost Mines of Phandelver has to have been so many people's first introduction to D&D, simply because 5th edition has exploded D&D's popularity. It's become pretty mainstream now, and you can see a progression since Community had an episode about D&D, it's appearance in Stranger Things, the rise of actual-play podcasts like Critical Role, and now the Magic: The Gathering crossover sets, the major Hollywood movie and Baldur's Gate 3.

I would assume that, other than the other Starter Set that was published later, a ton of aspiring DMs/players picked this one up as their first purchase for years. You may also know that this module was used as the basis for the first arc of The Adventure Zone podcast before they went off-book, and Cragmaw Hideout was played especially straight before they found their own footing. So, a lot of people know this one, even if it's not very complex or foundational in D&D's overall history.

Premise: A simple, goblin infested cave, which the party discovered after being ambushed on the road by a small goblin band, and following their trail. Other victims have clearly been dragged towards the cave, giving a hook to explore.

Monsters: The goblins (a dozen or so total) are led by a bugbear who is their boss, but who is subordinate to an external tribe of bandits, and under orders to ambush travellers for their supplies. They also have a handful of guard wolves.

Design: The entrance of the cave is designed to give a clear view of the opening, but with a blind corner lightly guarded by two inattentive goblin archers. The players are exposed, and can alert them by crossing the stream. This is an easy an easy encounter, but one which teaches an early lesson about caution.

The inside of the cave is dark without a light source or darkvision, but the party can follow the wall along the stream. This is the main path up through the tunnel, but alerting the goblin on the bridge will cause others to flood the tunnels from the two pools at the top.

I like that the goblins use their environment to channel the party down an expected path, which is reasonably well-guarded. The room to the right of the entrance contains chained guard wolves, and is meant to be a dead end. The party can climb through a narrow passage (used as a garbage chute) up through to the boss room, or some collapsed rocks to the left of the stream into the living quarters but from the goblins' perspective, the natural trajectory provides adequate defence and the rest is unfortunate damage to the cave that leads directly to heavily populated areas. It makes sense, and does a good job of making the goblins seem intelligent. They're a small group, but they're doing their best, and their encampment is reasonable.

The upper levels consists of a living quarters to the west for half a dozen goblins, including the second-in-command that can be influenced to overthrow the bugbear leader, and a hostage that can be an ally and convey plot hooks latr. To the east, the pool room and bugbear's room, who has with him a wolf and four goblins in that general area.

Overall, for an introductory adventure, I like that many things work in the party's favour to mitigate difficulty, without being contrived or making the Cragmaw goblins seem inept. The wolves are kept at the entrance, and may warn you off, especially from poking around too thoroughly in that room and climbing through the narrow passage, but are chained, limiting their danger. Of course the goblins keep them at hand near the entrance, and don't let them roam freely, they're wild animals! The "garbage chute" is great, because you can imagine them throwing scraps down to the wolves. The few guards posted outside are hidden, more meant to be a warning. They don't want to have an obvious presence and give away their location. The flooded passage is a great trap, but if it is sprung, can hit any goblins or wolves in the passage, too, levelling the playing field. The internal politics of the goblins and bugbear can be used to turn numbers in your favour. There's a fire pit near the boss that can be used to damage them. This dungeon is simple, but well designed and rewards an attentive approach while not overwhelming player with vast options for exploration on their first outing.

Treasure: The potential spoils for this cave consist of a few small valuable trinkets and gold, some standard healing potions, and the supplies stolen from other, some of which can be turned in for a reward at a nearby town. No legendary items or anything like that, the real reward is a reason to be directed to a populated hub, and a small payout.

[heykayhayes]

Final battle images for the finale of the first campaign I ever ran as a DM!! (It was a homebrewy version of Lost Mine of Phandelver!) I learned so much and had so much fun- can't wait to start my next game at the end of the month!!! :D

[txttletale]

I am curious as to why you say that the idea of a dungeon is inherently tied to settler-colonialism. Of course, I see how this is often the case, but I don't get why it has to be? (That is, insofar as dungeons are defined as old, dangerous structures filled with monsters and forgotten artifacts.)

I feel like there is something to the idea of dungeons not as foreign curiosities, but concealed outgrowths of the dominant culture. Castles, tombs, and literal dungeons built by dead kings whose legacies provide the foundation for the society which PCs are born into.

In my own half-narrative half-OSR game, I like to use dungeons as metaphorical representations of the unacknowledged cruelties which kingdoms are built on--a prison is such an inherently violent idea that even after the empire who built it dies, the violence lingers in the form of monsters and ghosts, persistently reinvigorated by a succession of monarchs who take the old empire as the inspiration for their works. The "loot" which heroes emerge with are here artifacts of the oppressed cultures which regain their power when brought back into the light!

yeah, i mean -- the definition of dungeon that you're giving here obviously does not have to be tied back to settler-colonialism. but i think it is broader--and perhaps descriptive of the aspects that i think are less important--of what a 'dungeon' is in TTRPGs. i think a more accurate definition of 'the dungeon' is that it's specifically a site of colonial extraction--you 'venture into' it, it's usually defined mechanically in opposition to the safe 'town', and its mechanical and narrative purpose is 'as a place full of people whom it is okay and even heroic to kill and things that it is okay and even heroic to take'.

i think your take on dungeons sounds really interesting ! but i also think what you're describing is like an active interrogation and to some extent a pushback and a counteropint to the traditional 'dungeon'. think of the archetypal 'dungeons' -- the tomb of horrors, the temple of elemental evil, the lost mines of phandelver -- none of these are actually literal prisons nor interested in what they allegedly are as anything other than a vehicle for sanctioned killing and looting, and that's what, as a baseline, the 'dungeon' is

(recommended reading: power fantasies pt. 2 by split/party)

[rosexknight]

The Lone Greenbrand

POV you’re on watch and see a group of adventurers come in and kill your co-workers, but you don’t get paid enough.

My most recent game of Lost Mine of Phandelver has taken its first casualty. Not to worry, though! This new character will last longer, I'm sure! Also, he needed a sprite. I love Chip, hes so much fun already!

[katgametable]

The Adventure Zone

Clint, Justin, Travis and Griffin McElroy have played a lot of DnD by now. And a fair bit that isn’t DnD.

Their first campaign, Balance, started off slightly ramshackle. Griffin DMs, Travis plays Magnus Ironsides, Clint plays Merle Highchurch and Justin plays Taako, using the then-brand new DnD 5e (2014). After modifying the adventure module Lost Mines of Phandelver, Griffin made a real zinger of a world and campaign. The result, in Justin’s words, was “the story of four idiots who played DnD so hard that they made themselves cry”. I’m pretty sure I did too, and I’m pretty sure you will too. This set of characters – Tres Horny Boys – are also the most frequent attendees at live shows – although I wish they’d give their live show adventures actual names. Balance also includes two adventures by the McElroy’s Maximum Fun Network colleagues, and a special mini-series Imbalance that could potentially set up for a new campaign, but that was quite some time ago and nothing’s happened so probably not. Honestly, the characters earned their retirement.

After finishing Balance, the McElroys decided to experiment a bit to decide what their next campaign would be, so they did three short adventures before deciding which to continue. Commitment was run by Clint using Fate Core and was superhero themed. Amnesty was run by Griffin using Monster of the Week and was a sort of rural folk horror. Then there was Dust, run by Travis using Urban Shadows, and was a supernatural wild west theme. After all three mini-campaigns, they decided to continue with Amnesty. (Note, if you look at the list of episodes, the post-mortem is listed three times, under each of the three campaigns.)

Please be aware that I have yet to listen to Amnesty beyond the experimental mini-campaign, so I’m getting details off a wiki. Justin plays Duck Newton, Travis plays Aubrey Little, and Clint plays Edmund Chicane and Arlo Thacker. Amnesty would also have two shows using its characters.

After Amnesty wrapped, they went back to DnD 5e, this time with Travis DMing for Graduation. This is another campaign I haven’t go to yet, so again this is from a wiki. Griffin plays Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt, Justin plays Master Firbolg, and Clint plays Argo Keene. They are enrolled in a sidekick program at Hieronymous Wiggenstaff’s School for Heroism and Villainy.

Near the end of Graduation is where I discovered Adventure Zone, which is why I haven’t got to Amnesty and Graduation yet; I’ve had to back-listen. My first at-time-of-broadcast season was Ethersea. Ethersea came with a prologue, a five-episode game of The Quiet Year, which tells the tale of settlement from its formation to destruction over the course of a year. The McElroys used that, along with ideas and modifications Griffin devised, to create a predecessor settlement to the main setting, and built the town that would be their characters’ home – an underwater town sheltering from a cataclysm above. The main campaign was DnD 5e with Griffin DMing, Justin playing Amber Gris, Travis playing Devo la Main, and Clint playing Zoox. In my opinion, this is one of the best settings I’ve encountered, and having the players join in making it, all sorts of details from the prologue led to incredibly important elements in the campaign, but…the campaign was a little too rushed. I think it needed another two arcs before the finale. And honestly, I’m still a little confused by the ending. Maybe when I relisten to write it up I’ll understand it better.

Then they did a second season of Dust, although Griffin and Clint made new characters, before launching into their next major campaign: Steeplechase, run by Justin using Blades in the Dark, set in a theme park somewhat inspired by Disney World, except self-enclosed and evil. Griffin played Montrose Pretty, Clint played Emerich Dreadway, and Travis played Beef Punchley. This was a really wild story, with something of a tendency to veer all over the place and certainly great fun to listen to…but they were really, really bad at playing Blades. Blades has a certain format, a certain way it works – the idea is you’re a team of crooks doing scores to steal or whatever, and the game is all going from score to score. While that was the initial set-up, and the first…half or so was indeed formatted as scores, it then ended up much more free-form. So, if you want to know how to play Blades, don’t try to learn from Steeplechase.

After that, another short campaign called Outre Space, using the Marvel Multiverse Role Playing System and a kind of continuation of a comic Clint wrote for Marvel. Then they returned to DnD 5e for TAZ vs Dracula, a romp through public domain in the name of killing the most famous vampire. Griffin DMed, Travis played Crawford “Mutt” Muttner, Clint played Brother Phileaux, and Justing played Lady Godwin. This was one of the weirder games. It didn’t feel all that structured, and it seemed quite a lot like Griffin was just throwing everything in there. It’s definitely fun to try to follow on and see how many references you get. They have also now had four extra adventures, all named after the basis of what they’ll be encountering.

Then they launched straight into Abnimals, a creation of Travis’ in both setting and system. It’s based off Saturday morning cartoons of anthropomorphised animal heroes with impossibly well-defined abs. They’re also aiming to make this campaign a bit more suitable for little ears, and they’re doing a good job so far. Travis is running the game, Griffin is playing Navy Seal, Clint is playing Roger Moore, and Justin is playing Ax-o-Lyle. This is the current campaign, and I’m enjoying it quite a bit. I also managed to fall behind before is started and ended up binging nearly twenty episodes in about three weeks.

In between all these campaigns and mini -campaigns, there have also been a number of shows using a variety of systems. Some of them, like Dadlands, have follow-ups, while others, like Holiday Brawl, are stand-alone.

There are also semi-regular installments of "The The Adventure Zone Zone", basically just them talking about what's been going on in TAZ.

Now, I believe there is in fact more TAZ available than what is listed here, if one was to become a Maximum Fun member. I have not done so yet, because I’m not caught up on the non-exclusive content. If/when I do take the plunge, I will add that content to the list, but be much more sparing in my reviews, to respect the membership requirement.

TAZ has lasted a long while, because the McElroys are very good at being entertaining. They’re not the best people to learn the mechanics from, even when they’re not inventing whole new systems. But what they excel at is using the tools of the game system to tell the stories they want to play with. Using just DnD 5e, they have explored the most entry-level high fantasy world; a magic school; an underwater city and its environs; and a magic-punk city with every character more than 95 years old. They have made the system more versatile than it was ever intended to be, by the simple expedient of “the story comes first”. That’s not throwing away the rules and discarding the dice, that’s making whatever mechanic you need to allow the story to be told. Their many stories speak to their success.

Balance

Episode 1: Here There Be Gerblins Chapter 1

Episode 2: Here There Be Gerblins Chapter 2

Episode 3: Here There Be Gerblins Chapter 3

Episode 4: Here There Be Gerblins Chapter 4

Episode 5: Here There Be Gerblins Chapter 5

Episode 6: Here There Be Gerblins Chapter 6

Episode 7: Moonlighting Chapter 1

Episode 8: Moonlighting Chapter 2

Episode 9: Moonlighting Chapter 3

Episode 10: Murder on the Rockport Limited Chapter 1

Episode 11: Murder on the Rockport Limited Chapter 2

Episode 12: Murder on the Rockport Limited Chapter 3

Episode 13: Murder on the Rockport Limited Chapter 4

Episode 14: Murder on the Rockport Limited Chapter 5

Episode 15: Murder on the Rockport Limited Chapter 6

Episode 16: Murder on the Rockport Limited Chapter 7

Episode 17: Lunar Interlude I: Carnival Chaos

Episode 18: Petals to the Metal Chapter 1

Episode 19: Petals to the Metal Chapter 2

Episode 20: Petals to the Metal Chapter 3

Episode 21: Petals to the Metal Chapter 4

Episode 22: Petals to the Metal Chapter 5

Episode 23: Petals to the Metal Chapter 6

Episode 24: Petals to the Metal Chapter 7

Episode 25: Petals to the Metal Chapter 8

Episode 26: Petals to the Metal Chapter 9

Episode 27: Petals to the Metal Chapter 10

Episode 28: Lunar Interlude II: Internal Affairs

Episode 29: The Crystal Kingdom Chapter 1

Episode 30: The Crystal Kingdom Chapter 2

Episode 31: The Crystal Kingdom Chapter 3

Episode 32: The Crystal Kingdom Chapter 4

Episode 33: The Crystal Kingdom Chapter 5

Episode 34: The Crystal Kingdom Chapter 6

Episode 35: The Crystal Kingdom Chapter 7

TTAZZ: Balance

Episode 36: The Crystal Kingdom Chapter 8

Episode 37: The Crystal Kingdom Chapter 9

Episode 38: The Crystal Kingdom Chapter 10

Episode 39: The Crystal Kingdom Chapter 11

Episode 40: Lunar Interlude III: Rest & Relaxation

Episode 41: The Eleventh Hour Chapter 1

Episode 42: The Eleventh Hour Chapter 2

Episode 43: The Eleventh Hour Chapter 3

Episode 44: The Eleventh Hour Chapter 4

Episode 45: The Eleventh Hour Chapter 5

Episode 46: The Eleventh Hour Chapter 6

Episode 47: The Eleventh Hour Chapter 7

Episode 48: The Eleventh Hour Chapter 8

Episode 49: The Eleventh Hour Chapter 9

Episode 50: Lunar Interlude IV: The Calm Before The Storm

Episode 51: The Suffering Game Chapter 1

Episode 52: The Suffering Game Chapter 2

Episode 53: The Suffering Game Chapter 3

Episode 54: The Suffering Game Chapter 4

Episode 55: The Suffering Game Chapter 5

Episode 56: The Suffering Game Chapter 6

Episode 57: The Suffering Game Chapter 7

Episode 58: Lunar Interlude V: Reunion Tour Part 1

Episode 59: Lunar Interlude V: Reunion Tour Part 2

TTAZZ: Balance 2

Episode 60: The Stolen Century Chapter 1

Episode 61: The Stolen Century Chapter 2

Episode 62: The Stolen Century Chapter 3

Episode 63: The Stolen Century Chapter 4

Episode 64: The Stolen Century Chapter 5

Episode 65: The Stolen Century Chapter 6

Episode 66: The Stolen Century Chapter 7

Episode 67: Story and Song – Finale Part 1

Episode 68: Story and Song – Finale Part 2

Episode 69: Story and Song – Finale Part 3

The Great Switcheroo of 2015

Return of the Hogsbottom Three

TTAZZ: Balance Finale

The Live Boston Stunt Spectacular

MaxFunCon East Live

Live in Austin

Live in San Diego

Live in Nashville

Candlenight in Tacoma

Live in Dallas

Live in San Francisco

Live in Atlanta

Halloween Special

Candlenights 2018

Live in New Orleans

Live at Emerald City Comic Con

Live in Minneapolis

Live In Seattle

The Zone of Adventure: Imbalance Episode 1

The Zone of Adventure: Imbalance Episode 2

The Zone of Adventure: Imbalance Episode 3

Amnesty

Amnesty Set-Up

Episode 1

Episode 2

Episode 3

Episode 4

Episode 5

Experiments Post-Mortem

Episode 6

Episode 7

Episode 8

Episode 9

Episode 10

Episode 11

Episode 12

Episode 13

Episode 14

Episode 15

Episode 16

Episode 17

Episode 18

Episode 19

Episode 20

Episode 21

Episode 22

Episode 23

Episode 24

TTAZZ: Anmesty

Episode 25

Episode 26

Episode 27

Episode 28

Episode 29

Episode 30

Episode 31

Episode 32

Episode 33

Episode 34

Episode 35

Episode 36

The Ballad of Bigfoot: An Amnesty Story

TTAZZ: Amnesty Wrap-Up

Halloween Special

Graduation

Episode 1: Orientation

Episode 2: It’s (a) Familiar

Episode 3: Pursued By Bear

Episode 4: Four Sidekicks Walk Into A Bar

Episode 5: What’s Yours is Mined

Episode 6: Long Overdue

Episode 7: Secrets, Secrets

Episode 8: Mission: Imp Hospital

Episode 9: Mission: Imp Hospital 2 – Unfinished Business

Episode 10: Dark Arts and Crafts

Episode 11: You Can Call Me Al(thea)

Episode 12: Pop Quiz

Episode 13: Apple for Teacher

Episode 14: Spirit Day

Episode 15: Out of Order

Episode 16: Give Me a Hand

Episode 17: Fire Drill

Episode 18: Field Trip

Episode 19: Creative Writing

Episode 20: Group Assignment

TTAZZ: Graduation

Episode 21: Loose Lips, Sunk Ships

Episode 22: Open and Shut

Episode 23: Between a Rock and a Hell Place

Episode 24: With Frenemies Like This

Episode 25: Burden of Things

Episode 26: Little Gray Cells

Episode 27: Long Way Down

Episode 28: Business Plan

Episode 29: Princi-Pal

Episode 30: Take Your Firbolg to Work Day

Episode 31: High on the HOG

Episode 32: By a Hair(cut)

Episode 33: Open Up a Can of Firbolg

Episode 34: The Ins and Outs of Contract Management

Episode 35: Multiple Choice

Episode 36: Reunions

Episode 37: Investment Opportunities

Episode 38: Finals

TTAZZ: Post-Grad

Ethersea

Prologue I: Our Wasted World

Prologue II: The Cost of Opportunity

Prologue III: The Comfort of Guilt

Prologue IV: The Hierarchy of Terror

Prologue V: The Weight of History

Episode 1: The Gallery Job Part 1

Episode 2: The Gallery Job Part 2

Episode 3: The Gallery Job Part 3

Episode 4: The Gallery Job Part 4

Episode 5: The Gallery Job Part 5

Episode 6

Episode 7: The Infinite Clam Part 1

Episode 8: The Infinite Clam Part 2

Episode 9: The Infinite Clam Part 3

Episode 10: The Infinite Clam Part 4

Episode 11: The Infinite Clam Part 5

Episode 12: The Infinite Clam Part 6

Episode 13

Episode 14: The Abyssal Auction Part 1

Episode 15: The Abyssal Auction Part 2

Episode 16: The Abyssal Auction Part 3

Episode 17: The Abyssal Auction Part 4

Episode 18: The Abyssal Auction Part 5

Episode 19: The Abyssal Auction Part 6

Episode 20

Episode 21

Episode 22: Cambria’s Call Part 1

Episode 23: Cambria’s Call Part 2

Episode 24: Cambria’s Call Part 3

Episode 25: Cambria’s Call Part 4

Episode 26: Cambria’s Call Part 5

Episode 27: Cambria’s Call Part 6

Episode 28: Cambria’s Call Part 7

Episode 29: Cambria’s Call Part 8

Episode 30: Cambria’s Call Part 9

Episode 31: The Menagerie Part 1

Episode 32: The Menagerie Part 2

Episode 33: The Menagerie Part 3

Episode 34: The Menagerie Part 4

Episode 35: The Menagerie Part 5

Episode 36: The Menagerie Part 6

Episode 37

TTAZZ: Ethersea

Episode 38

Episode 39: Benefactor’s Folly Part 1

Episode 40: Benefactor’s Folly Part 2

Episode 41: Benefactor’s Folly Part 3

Episode 42: Benefactor’s Folly Part 4

Episode 43: Benefactor’s Folly Part 5

Episode 44: Finale

TTAZZ Ethersea Wrap-Up

Steeplechase

Episode 1

Episode 2

Episode 3

Episode 4

Episode 5

Episode 6

Episode 7

Episode 8

Episode 9

Episode 10

Episode 11

Episode 12

Episode 13

Episode 14

Episode 15

Episode 16

Episode 17

Episode 18

Episode 19

Episode 20

Episode 21

TTAZZ: Steeplechase Mid-season

Episode 22

Episode 23

Episode 24

Episode 25

Episode 26

Episode 27

Episode 28

Episode 29

Episode 30

Episode 31

Episode 32

Episode 33

Episode 34

Episode 35

Episode 36

Episode 37

Episode 38

Episode 39

Episode 40

Episode 41

Episode 42

TTAZZ: Steeplechase Wrap-Up

TAZ vs Dracula

Episode 1

Episode 2

Episode 3

Episode 4

Episode 5

Episode 6

Episode 7

Episode 8

Episode 9

Episode 10

Episode 11

Episode 12

Episode 13

Episode 14

Episode 15

Episode 16

Episode 17

Episode 18

Episode 19

Episode 20

Episode 21

Episode 22

Episode 23

Episode 24

Episode 25

Episode 26

Episode 27

Episode 28

Episode 29

Episode 30

TTAZZ: vs Dracula Wrap-Up

TAZ vs Moby Dick

TAZ vs The Great Gatsby

TAZ vs Halloween

TAZ vs Romeo vs Juliet

Abnimals

Episode 1: Bunny Heist

Episode 2: Museum Showdown

Episode 3: Training Day

Episode 4: Theft at the Gala

Episode 5: Stealing Silver

Episode 6: Rogue Robots

Episode 7: Gearing Up

Episode 8: Security Measures

Episode 9: Dry or Die

Episode 10: Taking Out the Trash

Episode 11: Warehouse Wipeout

Episode 12: Loose Eel

Episode 13: Enforcement Infiltration

Episode 14: Hide and Sneak

Episode 15: Covert Cops

Episode 16: Cell Block Wango Bango Tango

Episode 17: Figging Around

Episode 18: Don’t Bank On It

Episode 19: Friendshrimp Along the Way

Episode 20: Breaking In

Episode 21: A Deal with Killdeath

Episode 22: Escape from Governor's Island

Episode 23: A Lair of SCUZZ and Villainy

Episode 24: A Scuzz of Our Own

Commitment

Commitment Set-Up

Episode 1

Episode 2

Episode 3

Episode 4

Experiments Post-Mortem

Dust

Season 1 Set-Up

Episode 1

Episode 2

Episode 3

Episode 4

Experiments Post-Mortem

Season 2 Set-Up

Episode 1

Episode 2

Episode 3

Episode 4

Outre Space

Episode 1

Episode 2

Episode 3

Episode 4

Specials

Live in San Jose

Hootenanny

Hootenanny: 3tenanny

Hootenanny: 5tenanny

Dadlands

Dadlands 2: Into the Corn Hole

Dadlands 3: FAMLEE Business

Holiday Brawl

Just Us

Just Us 2

Spirit Breakers

Spirit Breakers 2

The Adventure Bone

[campaign-spotlight]

Old School with Max [S2E3]

In this week's episode, we chat with Max about Old School Revival gameplay, the joys of exploration, and how being a guest on our show can improve your romantic relationship. Minor spoilers for Lost Mine of Phandelver, if that matters to you. Also, if you're wondering what the production process looks like, the beginning of this episode has a bit of behind-the-scenes conversation.

This is a very theory-heavy episode with long discussions of the connection between TTRPGs and video games as well as the role of skill checks in D&D 5th Edition. Also, we briefly touch on the economic impacts of explorers continually hauling gold back to the village. For more on how dungeon gold can devalue the currency in a world with magic and dragons, Google "fantasy inflation".

Here's an overview of the BECMI system Max describes in this episode.

Here's the MÖRK BORG system Max mentions playing in.

Here's the Old School Essentials sytem that Max recommends.

Follow us wherever you get your podcasts, including Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube. You can also get episodes right from the source at our RSS feed. If you enjoy Campaign Spotlight, consider subscribing to our Patreon. For more on the show, including links to all our social media, visit our website. 

[objectiveromance]

Glass Talsarin

A divination wizard with a Bird mouse familiar, Glass is a half elf half Assimar. She is based on the idea of female protagonists/ princesses in European fairy and folk stories. That kind of vague girl who comes across great magic or is more likely sold to it by her idiot father.

Glass’s story is that much like those tells, one day a Unicorn came into town and seeking out a companion asked Glass’s parents if they could take their young daughter, paying them handsomely in return. Of which they were most grateful to accept. So at 14 Glass become a traveling Companion to her chaotic wild fairy godmother esc unicorn. Of which at 22 said unicorn up and disappeared.

So Glass’s long term plot hook is that she’s still wanting to explore the world and learn about magic as much as she can, whilest also trying to hunt down the unicorn and get some sort of closer with her magically adoptive mom.

Glass may have been visually based on fairytales but her first name is Glass as a nod to the TYRPG Wizard class always being Glass Canon’s

Games Glass has been in so far have been, 1. A lost mines of phandelver game that ended quite poorly for her and 2. A doomsday one shot in an under water horror fantasy setting.

This is the first instalment of me making posts on all the Player Characters I played in TTRPG’s so far.

[psikind]

OCtober day 23 - Community Week

I wanted to take this day to talk about the amazing collaborative effort of worldbuilding done by and for the amazing people I have the privilege to play and be friends with - AuFae (short for Autism Faerun)!!

AuFae is a rework of DnD canon that me, @wingsthephoenix, @sparklelight3, @madbox, @comicalicious, @cavellana, and @juneybug have been working on and playing in since 2021 (though its been more knowingly worked on since October 2023)! So far consisting of Curse of Strahd (+ extension), Descent into Avernus, and Lost Mine of Phandelver -> Tyranny of Dragons, it has a bunch of homebrew lore and revisions and even some original gods and lineages - it's been described as "a bunch of neurodivergent people took hammers to DnD canon for fun", which is how it got it's name :3

I love literally every PC in these games so so so much I could talk about them for hours, I could talk about the campaigns for hours, I am. So autistic over these games and characters and world. Anyone who's known me for like 5 minutes will know that

[wordingg]

Five Idiots Look For a Cave - Chapter One

Summary: Laios and his sister Falin are hired to guard a wagon of provisions as it travels from the city of Neverwinter to the small frontier settlement of Phandalin. It seems like a dead easy job, but it quickly becomes more complicated when their employer is kidnapped by goblins, sending them on a wild goose chase across the most dangerous parts of the Sword Coast in search of him with a ragtag group of unlikely allies.

Or, I make the dunmeshi guys play through the Lost Mines of Phandelver, because why not.

A/N: This is such a weird project to tag and explain, but I'm going to try.

For those familiar with Delicious In Dungeon, but not Dungeons & Dragons: The Lost Mines of Phandelver is the scenario/campaign that's provided in the starter set that you can buy for Dungeons & Dragons. I've run this campaign a bunch of times during my years playing Dungeons & Dragons and I thought the characters of dunmeshi were just begging to be dropped into a D&D game. So, that's what I did. The plot of this story is the campaign, Lost Mines of Phandelver, and whenever the characters need to do something, I roll dice to see whether they can do it or not. Combat, investigation, everything. I am literally playing this game by myself and then converting it into a fic.

For those familiar with Dungeons & Dragons, but not Delicious In Dungeon: Delicious In Dungeon is an anime set in a fantasy world where dungeon diving is a well-known career choice. The setting and characters are such a good match to Dungeons & Dragons that I had to change very little to get the characters to fit into a Forgotten Realms setting.

All that to say, the story should be digestible by anyone, even if you're not familiar with both fandoms.

Also, just a warning that I don't really have an in depth plan for this story, so I'm going to add tags and relationships as I go. I really like Chilchuck/Laios and Falin/Marcille, so those are the two pairings most likely to be added, but no promises either way. I'll make sure to warn if I add anything at the beginning of each chapter.

Laios Touden and his sister Falin stood by while the wagon they had been paid to accompany was loaded up with supplies. Young men barely more than boys hauled barrels and burlap sacks of provisions up into the old warped bed of the wagon, more passing up shovels, pickaxes and crowbars. Laios counted about twelve sacks of flour, seven casks of salted pork, two kegs of strong ale, five lanterns, and a small barrel of oil.

It was early, just an hour before dawn, but the south gate out of the city of Neverwinter was already starting to bustle with traffic. Mostly it was wagons not unlike their own, though filled with produce and other products from the farms circling the city that served to feed the swollen populace within the city walls. From farther north the smell of baking bread and roasting meat signaled the beginning of breakfast for the many people packed in close behind thick the stone walls.

Laios was ready to leave the city. He had grown up in the far north, surrounded by rolling fields, freezing cold fjords, and winter lashed forests. He had lived in a lot of places since he had left his home, but cities were never his favorite. There were too many people, too close, all smelling and talking and leaving their things everywhere. He was looking forward to being outside the city walls for a while, but they had to wait until the wagon was full before they could leave.

“Toudens!” a boisterous voice called from the main thoroughfare.

Falin, standing beside him and watching the loading of the wagon with more interest than Laios, smiled and raised her hand at the call. Slower, Laios raised his hand as well, to wave to their most recent employer.

A dwarf with rust colored red hair and beard sitting atop a pretty dapple gray pony split from the little stream of people leaving the city through the south gate and came toward Laios and the steadily filling wagon. Following behind him was an older human man wearing chain mail and riding on a three quarter sized bay mare with another small dwarf with a thick black beard witting sideways on the horse’s haunches behind him.

“Mr. Rockseeker,” Laios greeted him as he pulled his horse up close. He didn’t step down to talk to Laios, but he didn’t begrudge him. Laios wondered how the dwarf had managed to get onto the horse in the first place.

“Please, call me Gundren,” Mr. Rockseeker said with a twinkling smile. His nose and cheeks were ruddy red above his red beard. “Mr. Rockseeker was my father.”

Laios stared at Gundren blankly until he heard Falin snort out a laugh and he realized that the nonsensical statement was a joke. He quickly barked a laugh out that felt false even to his ears. But, if Gundren noticed, it didn’t show on his face that Laios could tell.

“It looks like everyone is here, so I hope you don’t mind if I introduce you to my nephew-” Gundren started to say before being interrupted by Falin.

“Oh, actually! We’re still waiting for a friend of mine who offered to come along,” she explained with a pleasant smile.

Gundren’s face did something too complicated for Laios to follow. “A friend?” he asked uncertainly.

“Who’s everyone?” Laios asked, wondering if Gundren had meant him and Falin. He thought you usually would say ‘both’ instead of ‘everyone’ if you were just addressing two people, though he was no stranger to being wrong when it came to things like that.

“He means me,” a surly voice from near Laios’ hip grumbled, making him jump about a foot in the air and turn around.

Laios hadn’t heard anyone approach, but a halfling man with short brown hair peppered with a few fine gray hairs and big ears was standing right beside him, his arms folded in front of his chest. He had a soft looking green muffler looped around his neck and worn leather armor over a plain white shirt and dark pants. And, he apparently noticed Laios staring, as he threw a nasty look up at Laios after a few second of him looking a little too intently.

He was usually pretty bad at interpreting people’s expressions, but it was hard to misunderstand that kind of look.

Laios tuned back into Falin and Gundren’s conversation just in time to see them get interrupted by Marcille stumbling up to them, panting and bracing her hands on her knees to catch her breath. Her long blonde hair was braided in a complicated style that left half of it piled on top of her head, and half it hanging long down her back and she was wearing a pretty blue dress that looked warm but a little impractical for hard travel. As well as her spell book and quarterstaff of course.

“I’m so sorry I’m late!” she gasped. “I told the innkeeper to wake me up, but she never came! I ran the whole” she paused to take another gasping breath, “way here!”

“I won’t be able to pay another person,” Grundren said to Laios, turning his back on the two women.

“Falin and I will split our pay with her. She’s a good friend of ours. She’s trustworthy,” Laios explained, he hoped sufficiently, for Gundren.

Gundren’s eyebrows did some wiggling, shadowing his small dark eyes for a moment, but then he sighed and his shoulders slumped, and the warm smile and the twinkling eyes were back as if they had never left.

“Well, that’s alright then. Anyway, I wanted to introduce you all to my nephew, Senshi,” he said, turning to gesture to the two men behind him. The human man had helped the dwarf off the tall horse and he was walking up to the small group. “He’ll be accompanying the rest of you on the wagon to Phandalin.”

A chorus of hellos in various levels of enthusiasm came from the small group gathered by the side of the wagon. Senshi looked a lot like Gundren, if the coloring was a lot darker and his face a lot less expressive. Senshi had a long thick wavy beard that matched his thick wavy hair and a slightly receding hairline. His eyebrows were thick and his eyes were small, dark and keen. It was hard to read Senshi’s expression. Laios suspected that was probably true even for people who weren’t him.

“With that, I’ll have to bid farewell,” Gundren said with a little half bow from the top of his pony. “I look forward to meeting with the rest of you in Phandalin.”

“We won’t be traveling together?” the halfling man spoke up. He looked uncertainly at Laios and the others, before turning a frustrated expression up at Gundren.

“It’s faster to travel by horse than by wagon and I have some business to finish up in Phandalin before you all get there. But, you all won’t be far behind me,” Gundren said, already turning his pony around. The human man was mounting his mare, as well, turning her nose toward the south gate. “Take good care of those supplies!” he called over his shoulder as he rejoined the press of people heading toward the walls of the city.

The five left behind awkwardly glanced around at each other. Laios, Falin and Marcille stood together, looking down at the two smaller men who would apparently be their traveling companions for the next two or three days.

While they had been talking, the last of the supplies had been loaded into the wagon and the men who had been doing the loading had left. There was nothing to keep them there but uncertainty about their new companions.

Finally, the halfling man broke the silence with a derisive sniff. “I’ll drive the wagon,” he said. “The rest of you can ride in the back until we get out of the crowd.”

With that, he stepped away from the others and jumped a little to reach the bench at the front of the wagon and confidently took the reins. He looked over his shoulder impatiently and the others took the hint.

“Uh, right. Thanks!” Laios said, probably way too late by the way that the halfling man sucked his teeth at Laios, but Falin always said better late than never.

His chain mail clinking, Laios climbed up into the wagon behind Marcille and Falin, who had already claimed the most comfortable spots on top of the flour sacks. He reached back behind him to help pull the dwarf man, Senshi, up into the wagon as well and got a friendly nod in thanks. Together, he and the other man had to make do trying to find a comfortable spot between the tools and barrels.

Once everyone had stopped shifting, the halfling man flicked the reins and the old horses hitched to the wagon started off, pulling the rattling wooden wheels across cobblestones out of Neverwinter and south along the well maintained High Road toward their destination.

---

They made camp the first night in a little windswept area off the left side of the road alongside a number of other travelers. Their campfires flickered orange in the moonlight, lighting up the worn cobblestones of the road even if it was too dark for anyone to keep moving. The air was brisk since the shoreline was close, close enough that you could hear the soft crashing of waves on the beach in the small silences between the campsites.

“I’m surprised they only gave us five ration packs each,” Marcille said into the silence as they all sat around the fire munching away at the hard bread, dried meat and sharp cheese that had been wrapped up in wax paper for them by the same store that had loaded the wagon up for Gundren.

“It shouldn’t take us more than two days to get to Phandalin,” Chilchuck answered her from around a mouthful of bread. Chilchuck Tims was the halfling man. After half a day of traveling by wagon, Laios had finally worked up the courage to ask and was pleasantly surprised when he answered.

“Still, tis foolish to not prepare for a longer trip. Who knows what trouble we may meet on the road,” the dwarf, Senshi, said as he looked down and rubbed the dried meat between his thick blunt fingers. Laios wondered if he was trying to soften it with his hands first. He wondered if it worked.

“Senshi is right,” Laios said after a second. “If it does end up taking us longer than two days to reach Phandalin, we’ll be in a real bind.”

“We’re not going to die if we have to go a day or two without food,” Chilchuck responded, but he looked a little unhappy at the thought.

Laios shared a look with Falin at that. He supposed that was true, but he had gone without eating before on expeditions that went wrong and it wasn’t something he wanted to repeat if he could help it.

“What made you take this job, Chilchuck?” Marcille asked after an awkward moment of silence. “You seemed surprised to see other people.”

Chilchuck frowned back at her. “What made you take this job?” he asked back.

Undeterred, Marcille answered, “Well, I didn’t really take it so much as I agreed to tag along.” Turning to Falin, she asked, “What made you guys take it?”

“Laios saw the job posting at the guild,” Falin explained as she broke off a piece of her cheese and offered it to Marcille who hummed happily as she popped it in her mouth. “He’s my brother and I often accompany him on jobs that take him out of the city.”

“Yep,” Laios added, thinking back. “Falin has saved my life more times than I could count. But, this job sounded easy and straight forward. ‘10 gold to escort provisions to Phandalin with option to make more. For reliable persons only.’ “ Laios recited from memory. “Seemed just like the thing for me and Falin.”

“Ye belong to an adventurer’s guild, then?” Senshi asked Laios with a raised eyebrow.

Laios wrinkled his nose as he realized that, even if it was true, saying he was part of the adventurer’s guild was probably a little misleading.

“I only just joined a month ago. I’m still pretty green. Easy jobs like this are the only ones I’m qualified for,” Laios said hesitantly.

“But, Laios is really amazing in a fight! That’s how he got into the guild, by proving himself in a tournament. He’ll climb the ranks in no time!” Falin added with an enthusiastic grin thrown in Laios’ direction. Even if the praise made him more self-conscious, it warmed something in his heart to have her support and encouragement.

“Thanks,” he mumbled, scratching at the back of his neck.

“And, you’re just tagging along?” Chilchuck asked Marcille, doubt thick in his tone.

“Uh, well,” Marcille fumbled, seeming a little taken off guard by the question.

“Marcille is a friend of mine from temple,” Falin jumped in to say. “She just moved to Neverwinter and we’ve been showing her around. We didn’t want to leave her alone in the city for however long the job took, so we invited her along.”

Marcille and Falin shared a speaking look, something that Laios could recognize from the outside but not totally understand. Sometimes it seemed like they could have whole conversations with just their faces, in a few brief seconds snatched between words. It seemed an impossible kind of skill, one that he envied and was a little mystified by.

“That’s right,” Marcille agreed, her nose and ears a shade pinker than they had been a moment ago. “But, you still haven’t answered my question. I understand why Mr. Rockseeker wanted someone like Laios to guard his provisions on the road to Phandalin, but I’m not really sure how you fit into this.” She gave Chilchuck a piercing look, one he returned with an unhappy twist of his lips.

But, after only a moment, he sighed and sagged back against the fallen log he had sat himself against.

“Me and Gundren go way back. We used to go dungeon diving together back when I was younger. He was always decent to me. All he told me was that he had some kind of crazy opportunity opening up in Phandalin that I would want to get in on and to meet him there by the gates. He didn’t mention I’d be riding in a wagon with a bunch of strangers while he went on ahead,” Chilchuck finished with a dirty look aimed at the dirt by his foot. Laios didn’t have to be good at understanding people to understand that Chilchuck probably wished he could aim that look at Gundren instead.

“Oh, that’s awful,” Marcille sighed.

“Aye, I’m sorry to hear that. My uncle isn’t always the most considerate. Especially when he’s on a job,” Senshi added with a sorrowful nod of his head.

Chilchuck waved his hand, as if he could swat the condolences offered to him out of the air. “Whatever,” he said. “What’s done is done. I owe you all an apology, anyway. I didn’t mean to take my bad mood out on all of you.”

“Well, it’s a bit understandable,” Falin offered with a smile.

“Yeah, we didn’t take it personally,” Laios said with a shrug. He had assumed that the behavior he’d seen so far had been Chilchuck’s normal personality. It was sort of nice to hear that it wasn’t.

“Gundren is your uncle, huh?” Laios asked, changing the focus to Senshi. “Is there anything you can tell us about him? I only got to speak to him a little bit before taking this job.”

“Aye, he is my uncle, though our family is large and he is one of five uncles of mine,” Senshi explained. “There’s not much I can tell you about him, unfortunately. He and two of my uncles do much treasure hunting in the mountains about Neverwinter. I suspect that’s how you came into contact with him?” Senshi asked Chilchuck.

“Yep,” Chilchuck said. “I’m a locksmith by trade, but I have a reputation for being skilled at disarming dwarvish traps. He hired me way back when I was just starting out and is half the reason I have that reputation.”

“Do you have an interest in treasure hunting, Senshi?” Falin asked curiously.

Senshi stared into their crackling fire, his usually expressionless face becoming sorrowful. “Nay, not I. Not anymore.”

Laios looked around at the others, hoping someone more skilled at talking would interrupt the sad lonesome silence that had descended over Senshi. Unfortunately, it looked like everyone else was casting around to each other for the same thing.

Luckily, it was Senshi himself who broke the long silence. “I suspect my uncle thinks me a bit of a layabout. I don’t do any of the traditional dwarven pursuits. Mining, blacksmithing, gold prospecting. I’m sure whatever job he wants me to help with it will be something like that.”

“And, what is it that you like to do, Senshi?” Falin asked gently.

Senshi looked up for the first time since he had started talking.

“Cooking,” he said decisively. “I love to cook.”

Falin clapped her hands in joy. “Oh that’s wonderful!” she exclaimed.

“What do you like to cook most?” Marcille asked.

“Do you have a specialty?” Chilchuck asked with interest.

Laios smiled as the conversation lightened and turned lively as everyone talked and shared about food, their favorite foods, their family recipes, regional specialties they knew of.

It seemed like the ice had been broken and even if they weren’t friends they were well on their way to getting there.

---

The next morning they got an early start, eating their third ration for breakfast quickly before cleaning up the last embers of their campfire and packing up so they could get back on the road. They were not on the high road for long before they turned left onto a small dirt track with a simple sign marking it as the Triboar Trail.

It’s this road that they would take for the rest of the day and hopefully reach the small settlement town of Phandalin before nightfall.

Laios didn’t know much about the town of Phandalin. From what little he heard from other people in the guild, it was a tiny town just on the edge of the wilderness that was built on the remnants of another older settlement. It sat on the edge of the foothills of the Sword Mountains and was mostly populated by miners and the people who ran businesses that served them.

This part was the part of the journey that he had been hired for. The Triboar Trail was really that, just a worn down dirt trail leading off into untamed and largely uninhabited woods and meadows. All manner of creatures, bandits and beasts populated those lands and would have likely loved to get their hands on a wagon full of supplies like what they had.

A shiver of anticipation ran down Laios’ back as he imagined the types of monsters known to haunt the woods around them. There were stirges, of course, terrible little mosquito like creatures about the length of your arm that attacked suddenly and would try to drain their victims of blood. Ghouls could come out at night, ethereal specters of long dead travelers looking for warm bodies to possess. Ogres preferred the foothills, but they could wander close enough that running into one traveling afield for hunting wouldn’t be out of the question. Then there were goblins, orcs, owlbears! The list just went on.

Laios couldn’t suppress a whine of excitement at the thought. The sound, as quiet as it was, was still noticed by the halfling sitting beside him on the bench at the front of the wagon. Chilchuck jumped a little at the sound and gave Laios an uncertain look.

“Oh, uh,” Laios fumbled, trying to think of an explanation that didn’t include explaining that he was just excited to finally be entering monster country. “Just had a tickle in my throat,” he landed on lamely.

Chilchuck gave him a suspicious squint, but turned back to examining the road in front of them.

They continued on like that throughout the morning. Marcille and Falin occasionally walked beside the horses, the two old things walking slow enough that the women had no issues keeping up with them at a brisk walk. Senshi said his legs were too short to keep up and instead enjoyed relaxing on the flour sacks and making small talk.

It turned out that Senshi had traveled all over the world cooking and learning new cooking techniques. Marcille, the most well traveled of all of them, was especially impressed with him and got him to talking about all the far flung places he had visited.

Unfortunately for Laios, not a single monster accosted them that whole morning, even though both he and Chilchuck in front of the wagon were trying to keep a weather eye out for any movement in the brush on the sides of the road.

That is, until they reached a road block just before noon.

Just as they turned a bend in the road, they came upon a distressing sight. Two horses lying dead on their sides in the center of the road, numerous arrows pointing up out of their sides.

Chilchuck pulled the wagon to a stop as soon as they saw them and everyone stopped and stared.

“Those are Gundren and Sildar’s horses,” Senshi said slowly, looking at the two dead horses from between Chilchuck and Laios.

“Sildar?” Laios asked.

“The human man that was with Gundren yesterday morning. His bodyguard,” Senshi explained.

“I don’t like this. This feels like a set up,” Chilchuck whispered, furrowing his brow and barely raising his voice enough to be heard by the two men sitting right beside him.

“Even if we don’t trust it, we won’t be able to get the wagon past unless we move the horses,” Laios said with a thoughtful frown.

“Maybe you could use your magic to move them?” Falin asked Marcille.

Marcille fidgeted with her cape, tugging on the silky red ribbon at the front. “I couldn’t use mage hand to move them, they’re too heavy. I can only manage ten pounds at most.”

Laios sighed and jumped down from the wagon. “I’ll go investigate and try to move them. You guys take cover and let me know if you see anything, okay?”

Everyone nodded except Senshi who climbed down from the wagon, as well. “I’ll help ye,” he said gruffly. “Moving the horses will go faster if we work together.”

Chilchuck jumped back into the wagon and took cover behind a barrel, drawing his shortbow and knocking an arrow, his keen brown eyes scanning the thick foliage on either side of the road. Marcille also drew close the wagon, crouching down by a wheel and clenching her staff in both hands and looking a little seasick. Falin, however, stepped out front holding her mace menacingly in front of her, the sharp metal edges at the top glinting dangerously in the dappled light through the trees.

Laios tried to approach the horses cautiously, but his armor clicked and rang out as he walked. Senshi was quieter, but much slower. As they approached the horses, Laios agreed that they were the same ones he had seen Gundren and the human man riding yesterday morning. Even the tack on the horses was the same. Examining the blanket and saddle, Laios also noticed that the saddlebags of both horses were open, the insides looking dark and empty.

“I’ll take one set of legs, you take the other,” Senshi said, approaching the back legs of the pony.

“Wait, Senshi. Does it look like their saddlebags have been looted?” Laios asked, pointing at the bag he was looking at on the bay mare.

Senshi barely had time to make an inquisitive hum before the sound of a twig snapping behind him sent him and Laios turning just in time to see a small green creature sneaking through the underbrush with a small rudimentary bow drawn on them.

“LAIOS, LOOK OUT!” Falin shouted, pointing her mace at the goblin who had just startled them both.

Before either of them could react, an arrow was fired at them from the opposite side of the road, arching straight at Laios’ back. A flash of incredible burning pain lanced through his back, the pain so incredible that his vision fuzzed and blurred for a moment. He put his hand to his shoulder and felt hot blood against his fingertips, the soft wood of a small arrow sticking out of his back.

Beside him, Laios heard Senshi grunt and turned his head to see his new friend pierced through with an arrow, as well. Senshi was reaching out to touch a small arrow fletched in black feathers that was protruding from his upper arm, dribbling bright red blood.

“Laios!” Falin shouted again, her voice cracking on his name in a way that made his already racing heart stutter in his chest. Then, Falin quickly shouted a word that made Laios ears ring, her hand tracing a strange pattern in the air, before a flame-like radiance shot down from the sky at the goblin they had first seen.

Just as the light flickered in the air, Falin’s magic building above the goblin, the creature dodged to the side, missing the blast of sacred energy by a hair’s breadth.

The little green man growled, his voice high and stringent, making him sound like a saw working through a green piece of wood. Popping up from his rolling jump, he ran at Laios, a short chipped scimitar appearing in his long fingered hand.

Laios watched the blade come at him as if in slow motion, the goblin’s mouth fixed in a vicious snarl, his thin dark hair flying out behind his bulbous head. At the last second he leaned back out of the way of the strike and drew his own sword, his hand sure on the grip through hours and hours of training.

Behind the first goblin, yet another one appeared, this one also wielding a rusty damaged scimitar. It dodged around Laios, who was still engaged with the first goblin he had seen, and went straight for Senshi. Senshi, who had just yanked the arrow from his arm, threw up a hand desperately to protect himself from the attack, but still suffered a grievous wound across his arm that sprayed blood across the dirt road.

With a grunt, Senshi raised his greataxe high above his head. The goblin, still grinning in glee at landing a hit on the dwarf, didn’t see the axe coming until it cleaved his skull cleanly in half.

“Great job, Senshi,” Laios gasped, raising his own greatsword up at an angle to swipe at the goblin he was facing off with.

His own sword, heavier, longer and carefully maintained, carved through the small body and brittle bones of his attacker like a hot knife through butter. The goblin collapsed in a bloody heap with barely a whimper.

“Shit, shit, shit!” Laios could faintly hear Chilchuck saying from over by the wagon.

An arrow flew from the wagon where Chilchuck was hiding, fired into the bushes where the first two arrows had been shot from.

Laios barely had a moment to process that Chilchuck had joined the fight before another arrow flew, this one decidedly not from Chilchuck, and struck him right in the neck. Laios hit the ground in a spray of dirt, blood welling from his neck. In a matter of seconds his body began to feel cold, his eyesight blurry, his heart sluggish in his chest. He could hear people calling his name, but it all sounded far away.

Time became smeary around Laios. He could hear people shouting, see movement in what little he could still see, but the sound of his own struggling heartbeat took up most of his awareness. He could feel the blood pump out of his own body with each squeeze of his heart, smell the salty copper of his own life spilling out onto the uncaring forest floor.

Then, familiar hands are yanking the arrows out of his body. He could feel the flesh tear and give away under the new violence, but no pain came. He felt cold, so cold. Those same hands pressed tight against his back and a rush of warmth and pain pulsed through him, like unseen hands were yanking his flesh back in place, knitting the holes closed with fury, his body put back together none too gently, but put back together none the less.

Laios gasped as he opened his eyes and they focused on the scene around him. Falin was kneeling over him, her hands still stained with his blood, two bloody arrows discarded on the ground nearby. Senshi was laying on his back beside him in the blood soaked dirt, an arrow sticking out of his chest.

Struggling, still feeling dizzy from blood loss, Laios climbed back to his feet, picking his greatsword up off the ground.

“Thanks,” he whispered to Falin as he stood up between her and the two goblins still hiding in the brush.

“I’m just glad you’re okay,” she said around teary eyes.

“You’ve got to get them out of cover!” Chilchuck shouted as he shot another arrow into the underbrush that the arrows were coming from, though from the sound he didn’t hit anything.

Another arrow flew out of the bushes, this time aimed right at Falin, but pinged the chain mail under her robe and fell uselessly to the ground by her feet.

“Ouch,” she grumbled, rubbing the spot on her chest.

“Did that thing just hit you in the boob?!” Marcille shrieked from near the wagon.

“Uh?” Falin responded uncertainly.

Marcille shouted something in a language that Laios didn’t understand and gestured with her staff. Three darts of light flew from her staff to the bushes, igniting them with pale blue light followed by a sound of agony and a wet thump as something hits the ground. Shortly after, the sound of fast footsteps receding into the woods could be heard.

“Whoa,” Laios said, his eyes huge as he turned back to look at a still panting Marcille, her staff still held out in front of her.

“Did the last one just run away?” Falin asked faintly.

“Forget that! Heal Senshi!” Chilchuck shouted, already crawling over the seat of the wagon and hurrying over to where Senshi was still laid out on his back.

“Oh! Right, of course!” Falin exclaimed, falling back to her knees and pulling the most recent arrow from where it had buried itself in Senshi’s chest. Falin spoke some strange words and traced a symbol on Senshi’s skin. A faint warm yellow glow emanated from her hands where she pressed them to Senshi’s torso and the wounds steadily closed, the blood marching backward back into his body as the puncture wounds pulled back together.

Senshi grunted, his unfocused eyes finally seeming to see them, tracking Falin and Laios and Chilchuck as he ran up to meet them, Marcille trailing behind.

“Did we find victory?” Senshi asked with a harsh groan as he pushed himself to sit up, Laios’ hand on his shoulder to steady him.

“We’re alive and they’re mostly not, but I don’t know if you’d call that victory,” Chilchuck said wryly.

“That was terrifying,” Marcille gasped with a hand to her chest. “Is this really what you two do for a living?” Marcille asked with a concerned look at Falin who only shrugged.

“Usually with less dying, but yeah mostly,” Laios said with a shrug of his own.

“Oh, my god,” Marcille breathed. “OH MY GOD!” she shouted after a second.

“Shush! Not so loud!” Chilchuck hissed at her. “Just because these goblins are dead doesn’t mean there’s not more hiding in the woods. We need to get out of here before the one that got away comes back with his friends.”

“But,” Laios said, sheathing his sword and turning to look at the dead horses still blocking the road. “If Gundren was caught in the same ambush we just were, then the goblins could be holding him hostage. We need to help him, right?” he asked, turning to the others.

“I agree. If Gundren is in trouble, we must help him,” Senshi said with a firm nod.

“I don’t think so!” Marcille exclaimed. “You two almost died and that was only four goblins! Now you want to stomp into their lair and what? Demand to speak to a manager? I don’t think that’s going to go over very well!”

“But, Marcille. The magic you just used was amazing! With you and Falin helping us, we’ll be able to save Gundren. I’m sure of it,” Laios said with a determined nod.

“Well… About that,” Falin said awkwardly. “That last healing spell kind of wiped me out. If someone gets hurt again, I won’t be able to heal them.”

“… Oh,” said Laios, caught flat footed by that thought.

“Yeah, ‘oh’,” Chilchuck sighed. “And, I’m too old to go charging into danger unprepared. The two of you aren’t all the way up to snuff either. Why don’t we take this wagon the rest of the way to Phandalin and then come back to investigate? At least that way our two mages will be at full power and you two will be back to full health.”

Laios looked down at the ground, at the two goblins crumbled and bleeding into the dirt, at the two horses still on their sides in the middle of the road. At the blood still crusted into his sword’s blade and his chain mail, still matted into Senshi’s beard and on Falin’s hands and knees.

“Okay,” he said finally. “You’re right. Let’s to Phandalin and come back tomorrow.”

There were mumbles of agreement as Chilchuck, Marcille and Falin went back to the wagon and Laios and Senshi turned back to their original goal of dragging the horses off the road.

“Do you truly think the goblins took my uncle?” Senshi asked as they stood up from pulling the second horse off the road.

“I do,” Laios said. “Horses have a lot more value to goblins than humans or dwarves do. They use them as pack animals and sometimes eat them. If the goblins shot your uncle’s horse, then they wanted him in particular. And, if they wanted him for some reason, then there’s a good chance he’s still alive wherever they’re hiding him.”

Senshi gave Laios a long calculating look before nodding slowly. “Thank you, Laios,” he said gruffly, before turning and walking back to the wagon.

Laios scratched his head for a moment, not sure what he did to deserve thanks. Whatever the reason, at least Senshi seemed reassured.

[marigoldmorrigan]

I’m DMing my first campaign and it’s mostly Lost Mine of Phandelver but I plunked it in into my own homebrew world and I sent them back a century while in Conyberry to witness the death of Agatha and to throw corn cuties at them during a harvest festival and I blew up a volcano, and I am having the BEST time but also they just finished the time traveling arc and I don’t think they’re interested in the rest of LMoP actually, so now I have to come up with what I’m doing next and hey, that’s exhausting actually. Bless all of you DMs for all the work you do.

[themetaisfutile]

TMiF Plays: Lost Mine of Phandelver

D&D's SRD is really limiting. So how would playing a game with such limitations look like? TMiF is curious, so we're gonna find out! Come join us tonight at 9PM Central for Lost Mine of Phandelver~!

https://www.twitch.tv/metaisfutile/ https://www.twitch.tv/metaisfutile/ https://www.twitch.tv/metaisfutile/

Discord - https://discord.gg/dSfvTfyUvT Tumblr - https://www.themetaisfutile.tumblr.com/

Promo image by @/RosexKnight

[ragtimelimes-art]

Token art by @artofhitjim full body by me! I commissioned the token and later when I was able I drew him in my style! And a chibi

Character for Mines of Phandelver game. His name is Oket and he is here to make you a deal!

[whisperingdusk]

The party for the game I DM for, wrapping up Lost Mine of Phandelver and heading into Out of the Abyss! As a college game the party is getting Ship-of-Theseus’d every semester, but finally got something out for all the current members.