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TAZ Balance Episode 17: Lunar Interlude I: Carnival Chaos

Written 16 Apr 2025, shortly after relistening, having listened to the entire Balance arc some time ago.

It is the Summer Solstice Eclipse festival on the moon base; not only the longest day, but also a solar eclipse. Everyone dresses up and they have a big carnival, with Johan playing and lots of food and liquor. Magnus finds a food stall that promises to fry up anything he can imagine; he imagines a unicorn horn and penis, and the stallholder materialises them, fries them, and gives them to Magnus to eat, which is rather difficult for different reasons. Merle decides to have a go at a carnival game involving knocking over cans, but if he loses it’ll cost him 5,000 gold. Obviously this is extortionate, but Merle accepts a free practise shot, only knocks down half, the stallholder attempts to charge him, lets him double or nothing, and when there’s still one can standing (despite a Nat 20), Taako knocks it over with Mage Hand. They’re banned from carnival games.

It’s time for the eclipse! Leon the artificer hands out dark glasses, which they put on, and the moon moves in front of the sun. Suddenly there’s a loud scream, and our three are shaken but sturdy enough to stay standing as everyone passes out around them. There’s a sensation of a multitude of instruments all playing at once, and what seem to be a host of eyes watching them, and then it’s over. They awake the Director, who tells them to wake everyone else before joining her in her office. They do so, then relate what they experienced. She tells them that none of their agents on the ground experienced anything similar, so it must have been targeted at the moon base.

They head for the Fantasy Gachapon. Merle gets some winged slippers that will speed him in combat, giving him advantage on Initiative roles. Magnus gets a green cloth glove, a Fletcher’s Mitt, which will help him avoid or even catch any arrows or crossbow bolts. (This is for the right hand, the Phantom Fist is for the left.) Taako tries to get Leon to operate the machine for him, but Leon refuses, and coaxes him through the process. Merle is trying to shoot Magnus to try out the mitt. But Taako manages to get a handheld folding fan, the Gustmaster 5000, that can produce an incredibly powerful gust of wind once a day. Leon examines the Umber-ella, sees a new sigil has appeared, and explains it can now cast Feather Fall – the spell Killian had used with her feather duster.

They enter the Fantasy CostCo. Taako exchanges his ill-gotten valuables from the train for store credit, and they now have 2,400 gold. Griffin reads out a few of the items available. Taako buys a Pocket Spa (which will let them regain extra HP during short rests), for 900 gold (although he says it was 700, because he hasn’t told the others about his store credit). Magnus wants a mystery bag, a Lense of Straight Creeping, and a Tankard of Potent Brewing, and haggles to get them for 700 gold – the mystery bag contains a glass sphere full of water with a goldfish, which Magnus names Steven. Merle wants a Ring of Recall (which lets him regain an expended spell slot if the spell fails), but he can’t negotiate it down lower than 800, so Taako pulls out an extra 100 for him.

They level up from Level Four to Level Six, which increases everyone’s proficiency bonuses and gives them more hit points. Magnus gets second attack and brings up his wisdom to 10, removing the negative modifier. Taako can make a Transmutator’s stone, which has one of numerous properties. He’ll chose new spells later. Merle gains a new Channel Divinity, Destroy Undead, and learns how to Dampen Elements and gains the spells Plant Growth and Wind Wall. Griffin talks about wanting a DnD app that would calculate the bonuses and everything automatically (a very 2015 comment).

The mystery of the eclipse is nice, and the carnival was fun. The Gachapon, Fantasy CostCo and level-up is interesting if not very active. I’d love to see the items in use, as much as I fear at least some will fall by the wayside. That’s always a problem with DnD games; you end up with so many items, so many abilities, so much stuff, that most of it gets ignored. But some of these look really fun, so I hope they get used.

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OX Guild Season 2: The Corn Ultimatum

Written 04 Apr 2025, shortly after relistening, having watched and listened multiple times previously.

The Oxventurers are approaching the town of Little Avery. It is surrounded by corn fields, and the town is beautiful. The locals see them coming, and run inside, closing windows and doors behind them. A man approaches them, and pleads that the harvest isn’t ready yet, they need to put in a good word with McCluskey. After some intimidation, some convoluted excuses, the Oxventurers find out that the town is paying “protection” to a bandit named McCluskey, to the point that they tore down half the town to have more land for crops to meet his demands, for fear for their lives. The townsman pleads with them to help, as the last adventurer to pass through said they couldn’t afford his rates and is now in the tavern. They huddle and discuss various options, such as taking over the protection racket from McCluskey, which Egbert isn’t too opposed to as he has 37 mini-Egbert mouths to feed (the mini-Egberts are still mini, but aging rapidly). But they’re going to take out McCluskey anyway. Corazon heads for the tavern to get a drink, while Dob starts quizzing the townsman. Dob gets nothing useful, so they all retire to the tavern.

In the tavern, Corazon has constructed a corn effigy of himself he has named Cornazon. Also in the tavern, there is a Tabaxi dressed like a pirate drinking neat corn whiskey. Merilwen gets another drink for him and goes over to make friends. His name is Rust on the Harbour, he was a pirate but he has a fear of the water. He’s very amiable. He says that he was sure that his fee was too steep for the tow, as it’s as much money as he can imagine – one gold piece - but he did see the bandits’ camp. Corazon tries to impress Rust several times, notably with a round of the knife game, which results in Corazon stabbing himself in the hand, and Egbert has a go, stabbing Dob in the hand. The Oxventurers decide that they can pay Rust’s fee, and recruit him to come raid the bandits with them. They consider multiple options, such as pretending to be would-be recruits, making a Trojan ear of corn, digging a tunnel, and just burning the camp down. Dob buys a shovel, and Prudence buys arson supplies.

As they go, Rust catches a couple of birds, which he says he’ll eat later, and Corazon competes by catching even more birds. This impresses Rust mightily, and he disappears for a time, before coming back with a hat decorated with tail-feathers to give it wings. It takes moment for Corazon to accept that is a sincere gesture of friendship and admiration.

As they reach the camp, they can see a wooden palisade with closed gates. There’s ramparts, a walkway at the top of the palisade, a mead hall in the middle and other buildings scattered. Dob comes up with the idea of using makeshift catapults, and starts uprooting a sapling for that purpose. But as he digs, he feels a giant hand grasp his torso, and he’s picked up by a tree.

Notes from Part One pre-show podcast commentary: Jane is joined by Andy, for one of his favourites. This is the debut of Rust on the Harbour, a favourite Johnny character. They then consider that Mike is actually a ten year old boy. They discuss upcoming Resident Evil Village and Mario Party videos, and try assigning DnD classes to Mario characters. Then they talk about a movie they watched, and the soon-to-begin Orbpocalypse Saga.

Notes from Part One post-show podcast commentary: Jane picks out Little Avery on her map of Geth, and bemoans the problem of trying to make it. Andy tries to big up Corn-azon, but instead they talk about Rust. Rust is Johnny’s character in a Saltmarsh campaign, and is an Assassin Rogue. He can’t comprehend more than one gold piece at a time. Jane got very confused by the many half-plans and convoluted information. They tease upcoming merch (which is probably long sold out while I write this) and promo Blades and Orbpocalypse.

The tree that has picked up Dob demands to know what he’s doing, and Dob claims he was preparing to plant flowers. The Treant (for it is that creature) sees through him, but as he’s not happy with the bandit camp, he’s not opposed to assisting in destroying it, if Dob will come back and plant flowers later. They concoct a plan that involves the Treant Gary throwing Dob, Rust and cat-Merilwen over the palisade, while Prudence torches some trees outside the camp as a distraction. Gary has a particular dislike for some sycamores, so he animates them to bring them into position for the burning. They wait for nightfall.

Prudence douses the animated sycamores in corn whiskey accelerant and lights them. This does indeed attract attention, and eight bandits rappel down the palisade. Gary throws, and Dob and the cats soar into the camp. They see the mead hall, which appears to be the focal point, and more bandits preparing to rappel down, so Dob give cat-Merilwen a knife and sends her to stop the bandits doing so. Unfortunately, Merilwen’s charge is not the stealthiest, and now everyone is aware there’s in incursion inside the camp. Corazon climbs up the ropes to take on the bandits up there. Merilwen, also on the palisade, turns back into an elf to cast Poison Spray. The animated, burning sycamores are commanded to slam the bandits outside the camp. Dob charges in to the mead hall, attracting attention, while Rust goes up, down the chimney, and takes McCluskey hostage. McCluskey orders his men to stand down, which takes a little while to disseminate due to the sheer chaos, and the fact Egbert is riding Gary as he charges through the camp. But eventually, a number of bandits are dead, the rest are tied up, and Corazon steals the money box. Then they take McCluskey back to Little Avery, where he is summarily tried, found guilty, and burned to death in giant wicker ear of corn.

Merilwen gives Rust ten gold pieces, which causes his mind to freeze. So she gives them to him one at a time, so he only sees one at any moment, but then does have multiple coins in his pocket. Dob rounds them up for flower planting, and Corazon does Rust a kindness by pickpocketing nine gold pieces.

Notes from Part Two pre-show podcast commentary: Jane is looking for a spare tagline, but Andy is not doing too well at supplying one. They talk about the Orbpocalypse Saga, and Andy mentions the premiere is clashing with his shifts volunteering at the vaccine centre (directing people, not injecting them). They have already released a level-up video (I’m probably going to incorporate that into the S3 intro post). So they talk about the changes coming with the new season. And then they talk about Resident Evil Village.

Notes from Part Two post-show podcast commentary: Andy and Jane loved the NPCs, such as Gary the Treant who hates sycamores. They did some very good combat, and Andy loved that Merilwen broke Rust’s brain. They discuss if Rust can comprehend numbers higher than one in general, or if it’s just gold. Jane talks about how they have an upcoming appearance at Metaverse ’21 for the third installment of Oxventure in Space. And they conclude with talking about Orbpocalyse again.

Like Sect Appeal, Corn Ultimatum isn’t my favourite, although after re-listening I’m not entirely sure why. I guess I didn’t click with it when it first came out. I do like Rust (who reappears later), and assaulting a bandit camp, and all the fancy combat stuff, but for some reason…I don’t know. I found the opening really awkward, with the whole bit about taking over the protection racket – I get that Corazon’s money-hungry and Prudence likes the power, but do they really want to set down roots? I dunno, maybe that kinda set me into the wrong frame of mind. Ah well.

I do love Rust. He’s a really interesting character, he’s well developed, he’s got so many little quirks. I love him. I also have a soft spot for Tabaxi, which probably helps. I love Corazon’s one-sided rivalry, but let’s be honest, Rust steals the show.

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TAZ Balance Episode 16: Murder on the Rockport Limited Chapter 7

Written 16 Apr 2025, shortly after relistening, having listened to the entire Balance arc some time ago.

Angus, Jess and Graham join our three heroes in the storage car, as they start going through the contents of the Crypt Safe. There’s some rather valuable things; a tiara, a silverware set, and Jenkins had been using a compass-like implement that they figure is pointing to the most valuable item – so they identify a monocle. Taako approaches it – having been the one to resist the Phoenix Fire Gauntlet – and hooks it with his Umber-ella. It whispers in his minds, offering to make anything he can imagine real, but Taako says he has no imagination, and drops it into his pack. But the Umber-ella is twitching, drawing his attention to Jenkins’ wand – not the ‘port rod, a wand. Taako taps it with the Umber-ella, which opens up and eats the wand. This causes something of a distraction, and Taako takes advantage to scoop up all the other valuables.

Graham points out that they have only about seven minutes before they arrive in Neverwinter, and they have to start slowing the train. Taako manages to use the rod to gain entrance to the engine cabin, but despite Graham knowing exactly which levers to pull, it seems the train will only respond to Hudson’s hands, both of which disintegrated with the meat monsters. They consider options such as de-coupling to engine, but those would still result in the train smashing into Neverwinter. So Taako considers using a ‘port to send the train somewhere else. Graham says there is indeed a sort of gateway they could use as the entrance coming up, but where to send the train? Phandelin is considered, as it’s already destroyed, but Taako can’t thinks of a suitable room, and so picks Jenkins’ garden instead. They get on to the roof of the train and prepare to jump off. Angus panics just a little, so Magnus pushes him off, but he lands safely. Magnus jumps, and does not land safely – technically he went below zero HP, having been injured in the fight last episode, but I think Griffin decided to just knock him out. Jess jumps off easily, and Graham is also pushed off and lands reasonably. Merle jumps, and at the last minute Taako leaps off gracefully, casts the ‘port spell, and they watch the gateway turn into the door to the greenhouse, the train charge through, destroying it, and as the spell collapses, the train is destroyed.

They have survived, but Taako loudly laments that they didn’t retrieve the valuables from the storage car first, distressing Angus as he’d been bringing his grandfather the heirloom silverware. Merle casts Spare the Dying on Magnus to stabilise them, and they carry him the rest of the way to the station, where there are a number of rather shocked would-be passengers and some members of the local militia. Luckily, Angus has the credentials to smooth things over. Jess thanks them for an exciting trip, offering tickets whenever they happen to be at one of her shows. Graham expresses that he’s got a much better chance of getting employment with the train company now. And Angus offers to help out if they ever need a mystery solved – and Taako “reveals” that he did manage to save some of Angus’ heirloom silverware, handing over three forks. Then they all go their separate ways.

The three stop off at a clinic to get Magnus’ wounds seen to, before summoning a ball to return to the moon base. They’re greet by Avi, who’s astounded and delighted that they managed to retrieve a second Grand Relic. They head to the Director and hand over the monocle, which goes through the same process of being put in a lead sphere, bombarded with rays, and vanishing from existence. She tells them that it was called the Oculus, and it could make any illusion dreamed off tangible. Merle expresses that that doesn’t sound bad, but the Director tells that it could be used to create armies, or fire-breathing dragons, or other implements of great destruction. Magnus says that he thinks it could be used for good, but the Director shuts it down, telling him it would corrupt anyone who tries to use it. She calls Davenport over, who brings them three Fantasy Gachapon tokens and 2,100 gold pieces.

This was a reasonably satisfying conclusion, although I do feel sorry for Angus, what with Taako’s stealing his heirlooms. The smashing the train into a greenhouse and completely obliterating it was rather amusing, and a suitably dramatic but not tragic conclusion. I do wonder what Griffin’s original plan for them stopping the train was; had he expected them to save a Hudson hand? Had he thought they’d do something else? He did supply things that would make the plan work, like the gateway to cast the ‘port on, but those could have been made up on the spot. Or maybe he always planned for the train crashing through a ‘port.

Something that was never addressed was how Jenkins knew about the Oculus. No-one is meant to be able to know about it other than the Bureau; Magic Brian supposedly was a former Bureau member, so was Jenkins the same? But the Director had previously warned about the Red Robes who are also seeking the Grand Relics, were they at play? Again, I don’t quite remember enough details to answer. I’m just going to have to find out again.

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OX Guild Season 2: Sect Appeal

Written 04 Apr 2025, shortly after relistening, having watched and listened multiple times previously.

The Oxventurers are all in a tavern in Humberdale celebrating Egbert passing his Trials again. Corazon goes for another round, and the landlord tells him they’ve had a number of kidnapping recently, so he’s closing up early – but they rent out rooms, so he agrees to keep it open for longer. Corazon gets some karaoke wrong, because they’ve been drinking for twelve hours by now. Corazon has the brilliant idea that if they kidnap each other, they can’t be kidnapped by anyone else, so Dob ties Corazon into a sack. While they’re doing that, Prudence’s demonic pokeball orb rolls off the table by itself and out the door, chased by Frisky and The Darkness yapping demonically. They all chase after it, Prudence getting very weepy due to everything she loves leaving her (because she killed them). At some point, Corazon wriggles out of his sack as they chase into the mountains.

They reach the opening of a cavern, and are met by a woman in a white robe. She asks them if they’re the new Initiates came to serve the Blessed Lady, and as that will give them entrance into the caves where the orb and book-babies vanished, they say yes. The woman leads them into the caves, so a dining hall, and gets them stew, before showing them to a dorm. Merilwen turns into a cat and sleeps on the seal. Dob stays up all night in case someone tries to kidnap them.

In the morning, a bunch of young men in white robes come in, put robes on everyone’s beds, and throw glasses of water in everyone’s faces to wake them up. They yell about the Oxventurers being nerds and losers. These are Chet and Davy, the local frat leaders. They bully the Oxventurers into robes, chivvy them to breakfast, and then make them do the laundry, chucking a cup of coffee on Dob when he tries to Prestidigitate his robe clean. In the laundry room, Merilwen turns into a giant octopus to get it done faster, while Corazon Minor Illusions a stack of clean laundry to get out of it and wanders off to explore. While helping Merilwen with the cleaning, Prudence casts Detect Magic. Her orb and books are too far away, but she can see magical residues on the clothing – not only mundane uses, but something more complex.

Corazon finds a lot of caverns. Lots of people are doing rather mundane things, such as chopping vegetables for stew, and others are preparing herbs and potion ingredients. But there’s another door, guarded by men in plate. Corazon returns to the laundry room to tell the others. They discuss trying to get Chet and Davy to take them through that door, but can’t figure out how. Chet and Davy return, see the laundry done, and take them out to join a group of other young men.

The first woman they met (addressed as Miss Ashridge) comes up and thanks Chet and Davy for doing the laundry, asking the Oxventurers about their slow morning settling in. Merliwen glares daggers, while Dob tries to express that Chet and Davy were very helpful but also very diligent in their chores, and it gets rather mixed up, until Egbert blurts out that he’s in love with Chet. And Dob adds that he’s in love with Egbert, and Chet’s in love with him. This derails the discussion of what everyone did that morning quite nicely. Miss Ashridge then asks if the Oxventurers – who she thinks must have formerly been adventurers due to seeing Merilwen turning into a cat – could do a special chore. She needs someone to fetch some black sorel from a cavern that’s guarded by something dangerous. Dob calls a adventurer’s huddle, and they decide that it could get them through the guarded door, which might be where the orb and book-babies have got to, so they take the job. But they ask for vast quantities of rope, and also for Chet and Davy. Chet and Davy had been acting very indignant that they hadn’t been given the very important mission, then get excited at the prospect of going on it anyway, and then when Miss Ashridge agrees, rather nervous. While the rope is being fetched, Corazon and Dob riff on how they’ll need to make out wills first, which morphs into them making out with one of the boys called Wills, before the rope arrives and Chet and Davy are turned into rope mules. It also turns out that even Miss Ashridge doesn’t really know what the potion the black sorel is needed for will do, as the Blessed Lady only gives out what knowledge is deemed necessary. They then leave the cult’s caverns, and head for the one that contains the black sorel.

Merilwen rolls pretty poorly to remember anything about black sorel, but she’s sure she’ll know it when she sees it. Chet and Davy get really rather scared when they reach the cavern, and point to the carpet of bones as the reason why. Corazon casts Dancing Light so he, Chet and Davy can see, and then Chet and Davy are sent as advance scouts, roped up in case they need to tug for extraction, and Dob goes with them.

Notes from Part One pre-show podcast commentary: Jane is joined by Ellen. This was early days in the lockdown, when they were just starting to realise it would last for a while, and so they had a rather strange, almost hysterical energy – Ellen points out the only new people they were meeting were Johnny’s NPCs. Ellen has been playing Returnal. Jane has been making a map of Geth, which is quite challenging, partly because Johnny was just throwing town names out at random. Jane quizzes Ellen on random places and what happened there. Jane notes that when re-listening, she noticed that a lot of episodes start with them trying to have some R&R, and this one, they had a bit too much R&R. Jane thanks Mike for making the streams working, as he was the only one with the PC (the computer) to make it happen. The audio is still not great, but better than last episode.

Notes from Part One post-show podcast commentary: Ellen and Jane loved playing being drunk; Jane enjoyed finding out Prudence is a weepy drunk. They talk about how alignment changes with more drinks. Jane declares that she thinks Davy and Chet are really beautiful. Ellen really liked turning into an octopus to do chores, so they talk about octopuses in real life and in DnD – Ellen had considered taking a reef shark as her animal form, but the octopus can act out of the water. Jane looks forward to getting outside to get drunk with people in real life again – Ellen (who is immune-compromised) mentions she’s soon to get her second vaccine. They then talk a little about the Blades campaign.

Dob, Chet and Davy advance into the cave. They find a humanoid creature with a tail and a goat’s head. Prudence Messages to ask how it’s going, and Dob describes the creature, which Prudence identifies as a demon called a Bulezau. He also observes that it appears to have made a little garden using luminescent mushrooms for light, and there appears to be black sorel. Prudence cautions Dob that the Bulezau inflicts necrotic damage on anyone who gets too close. They all brainstorm ideas, at one point Prudence deciding to tell Dob that Corazon said to tell Chet he loves him, and Egbert starts making a net out of all the rope. They decide that Corazon will sneak ahead and use Mage Hand to scoop up some black sorel, and Prudence also sneaks forward (using Spider Climb) to cast Detect Magic again, still trying to find her orb and book-babies, and Chet asks Dob if he should consider dumping Wills for Corazon. Dob throws a mega-condor skull to draw the Bulezau’s attention in the wrong direction, Corazon snaffles some sorel, Prudence can’t find her babies, and then she fluffs a stealth roll and attracts the Bulezau’s attention while they all try to flee. Egbert goes back for Prudence, and in a very rare Paladin move, casts Turn the Faithless...which fails, but he does get the sense La Vache Mauve is pleased with him. Dob leaps up, grabs on to the stalactites on the ceiling, and casts Thunderwave, dislodging a rain of stalactites. The Bulezau is impaled fifteen times and screams out some very distressing stuff in Abyssal – and it seems Davey knows Abyssal, because he is very upset by this. Egbert nets the Bulezau, and Corazon finishes it off, promptly taking full credit for the kill. They scoop up the rest of the black sorel, and discuss whether they should go ahead and give it to the cultists, given they don’t know what it’s for, and neither do Chet and Davey, but it can’t be good if it’s being used by a bunch of kidnappers – Chet and Davey say that they aren’t kidnappers, because they haven’t been sent on kidnapping missions yet. The kidnappees are brought in to try out the cult life for a bit, and if they don’t like it, they vanish behind the guarded door. It is decided to use the black sorel to get permission to deliver it behind the doors, so they can see what’s going on. Chet snogs Corazon.

When they get back to the cult’s caves, Miss Ashridge is delighted. She agrees that of course they can deliver the sorel themselves, and Chet and Davey can come too, and even bring Wills.

They find that behind the door, there’s a sort of alchemy lab with large, man-sized tubes and a number of villagers in cages. They find out that the Blessed Lady is trying to mutate people into soldiers, as growing them from scratch hadn’t worked out too well, and the black sorel is the last ingredient they need. It becomes obvious the Blessed Lady is Liliana, and they’re talking about mutating people into Egberts. Ashridge wants to call Liliana straight away, but they convince her to wait until they have a fait accompli. Egbert hands over the sorel, and even though Corazon is trying to get him to destroy the sorel, Egbert wants to see the serum made. But once the sorel is ground and added to the potion, and the serum is made, Egbert grabs it and drinks the lot.

Johnny has to leave the room for a moment. When they come back, the others are all spitting out ideas for what might be happening. I’m pretty sure Johnny just picked one of those. Egbert’s skin starts to erupt and buds, forming little mini-Egberts. Thirty-seven of them. The cultists all immediately start clamouring around Egbert and calling him the Chosen One.

Someone starts up the scrying pool and starts calling Liliana. As it connects, Merilwen casts Destroy Water, and cuts off the call. Liliana only had time to see the Oxventurers and say, “Kill th-”, so Corazon translates it as kill the tanks. They get Egbert to issue the commands; destroy the tanks, free the townspeople, return Prudence’s orb and babies. They don’t know anything about Prudence’s babies, but they follow the other orders, while Dob starts loading the mini-Egberts into his papoose. Ashridge hefts a warhammer and smashes a tank, catching Corazon’s eye. It’s rather chaotic.

While this is going on, Dob sidles over to the scrying pool. He sees a single blonde hair, which he pockets.

Corazon gets the cult to give Egbert half their treasure, and then propositions Ashridge. She turns him down, so Corazon returns to Chet, who decides Corazon’s too fickle. The Oxventurers leave the cave, Prudence getting sad again, but their in the grass is the orb and the book-babies, who scuttle over and lick her with their leathery bookmark tongues. And everyone is happy.

Notes from Part Two pre-show podcast commentary: Mike joins Jane. Mike has been playing Resident Evil Village, as has Jane. Mike has also been playing Auto Mobilista 2, a racing came, which has an optional car that’s modelled after Mike’s own racing car (yes, Mike has a racecar). Mike has also acquired a Goldenaxe arcade cabinet.

Notes from Part Two post-show podcast commentary: Mike thinks this was one of Egbert’s big moments at the end. He decided to drink it as soon as he learned it was a dangerous serum, but he had no idea what Johnny would decide to do – I don’t think Johnny had any idea either. But the big story was all the smooching, even while there was a lot of kidnapping in the background. But so much of this adventure was just going off-piste. They talk about upcoming video games videos and Blades in the Dark merch.

I’ll be honest, I do not like romance-based high-school style melodrama. I like the set-up with the cult, I like the demon – and they’d tried a sneaky resolution without a full fight, which was really good to see, and Dob’s Thunderwave on the stalactites was genius, Corazon’s kill steal was hilarious. The development of the Liliana plot was intriguing. It was just the odd energy they were bringing to it. Still good stuff.

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TAZ Balance Episode 15: Murder on the Rockport Limited Chapter 6

Written 16 Apr 2025, shortly after relistening, having listened to the entire Balance arc some time ago.

The three and Angus prepare to raid the storage compartment in the caboose. Angus asks if they could please apprehend not kill the culprit. But when they bust in, there’s no-one there. Angus starts rooting around and Taako examines the Crypt Safe. There’s no signs of tampering. Justin and Griffin then discuss whether deductions should be player-driven or must come from dice rolls, both in terms of rolling to make a deduction and the player making a deduction without the character rolling for it. Griffin confirms that if the player works something out, the character works it out, and Justin explains that he thought Jenkins’ hands had been taken in order to open the Crypt Safe, but they’re not there. Angus explains that it would have to be Hudson the engineer’s hands anyway. Taako Detects Magic again, but all he can find is the trace of a Ghost Sound spell. Then Angus asks Magnus to try to open the exterior door, but he finds it’s sealed. Merle casts Locate Object to find Jenkins’ rod, but he can’t find it, not within 1,000 feet. Magnus theorises that they’re not in the caboose, they’ve walked through a ‘port, like in the pleasure chamber, and the Ghost Sound is generating the sound of the train moving. So they leave the room, and immediately the slight nausea fades and Merle can hear Scuttle Buddy again.

Everyone gathers in the dining car, and Angus lets the three present their facts and conclusions. They figure that Jenkins couldn’t have been beheaded by Jess or her axe, and the axe is soul-bound to her and she was with Graham. The cleanliness of the cut suggests that the beheading was achieved by putting his head through a doorway and opening a ‘port in the doorway. But why take the hands? Jenkins’ hands wouldn’t have been any use…but Hudson’s would’ve been. They conclude that the body wasn’t that of Jenkins, but Hudson; Jenkins took him a drink, and in the engineer’s cabin killed him and removed his hands, then brought the body out, swapped clothes, and opened the port to remove the head. He then left it to be discovered before having the crab burn it up before a thorough examination could be done, and because they only spoke to “Hudson” through a speaking devise, he could have used any number of enchantments to fool them. Jenkins must now be in the real storage car. They figure out that the best way to access it would be to create a second entrance into the storage compartment, probably by opening that exterior door.

So they concoct a plan involving Taako casting Levitation on Magnus’ boots, chucking Magnus outside the train so he floats back to the caboose, then he can break the door open, and hopefully distract Jenkins enough for the ‘port to fail. Or clobber him. Graham contributes his extensive knowledge of the train’s route to pick out an upcoming spot where they’ll emerge from the mountains to cross a rail bridge, and gives Magnus a bean that will make him really heavy when he puts it in his mouth. Magnus ties a rope to a table in the dining car and uses it as a guide rope as they put the plan into action.

It goes rather well, until Magnus reaches the caboose and finds a giant meat-monster with one smaller hand (identifiable as Hudson’s) at the back and it swats him away. But Magnus uses the bean just as the train re-enters the tunnel and the rope swings back, to come in like a wrecking ball and smash the monster into the door, which bursts open. He can see Jenkins on the floor rooting through the Crypt Safe, a number of items including Railsplitter strew around, and another meat-monster with a small hand touching it – and also the open door to the dining car. Magnus and the meat monster crash in, causing Jenkins to drop the magic rod and end the ‘port.

Combat commences, hampered in part because Merle used up all his spell slots, but they kill one of the meat-monsters, and then Jenkins tries to negotiate. He points out that without the other meat-monster, they won’t have Jenkins’ hand to open the engineer’s compartment and slow the train before they enter Neverwinter – but Taako reckons he can use the ‘port to get in, so they refuse to surrender. Jenkins responds by trying to destroy his meat monster, which throws him off the back of the train, and they destroy the last meat-monster.

There was a lot of conclusions being draw in this episode, and while it is noticeable that Griffin was using Angus to prod the others into considering this or that, it wasn’t disruptive, it didn’t feel like he was feeding them answers. It felt organic. And it does prove that they are reasonably intelligent men, even if they do do ridiculous things like throw the fighter out the window. It was a brilliant little scheme Griffin concocted for Jenkins, and really satisfying to see it unwound. Now they just have to stop the train, and not get arrested for Charming Tom Bodet.

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OX Guild Season 2: Faire Trial

Written 11 Apr 2025, shortly after relistening, having watched and listened multiple times previously.

This was the first adventure to be live-streamed due to the lockdowns that started in 2020.

The Oxventurers are having a picnic and watching Egbert’s new pet seal eat picnic eggs, get spritzed with water, and occasionally try to escape. Someone comes running by, a Paladin, who recognises Egbert’s livery. Their name is Max, and he is an offsteed inspector with the Order of Paladins Mounted Paladin Inspectors. They check Egbert’s credentials, and find that Egbert waited too long to file his forms for change of deity, and Egbert will have to re-take his trials – trials it took him six attempts to pass the first time. His friends can come along, but cannot interfere, not least because it will reflect badly on Max if they send a Paladin with a squad of charismatic cheat friends.

As they go, Dob makes a portable ramp and finds a pointy stick to replace his melted rapier, and Corazon buys a sackfull of religious paraphernalia from a passing peddler. Then they reach the Trials, which is set up in a permanent tourney ground with a carnival atmosphere. Prudence goes looking for candy floss, Dob checks out the hook-a-displacer-beast, Corazon looks around for the sign-up table, and Egbert boards a Ferris wheel of contemplation cells. Aboard, he stares at the sun and prays to La Vache Mauve. La Vache appears, and Egberts explains the situation. La Vache tells him to believe in himself, pamphlet like he’s never pamphletted before, acquire a ramp, and be wary of using his new mace, for he might end up facing an even worse creature.

Meanwhile, Dob hooked a displaced beast and won a plush minotaur – but he overpaid the stallholder, so Corazon steals the contents of his money box. Prudence has acquired not only candy floss, but also a balloon that’s a pig’s bladder full of bees. Merilwen has gone to the stables, and finds the horses rather nervous of whatever animal is in the next tent over, so she feeds them apples and soothes them. When Egbert is finished his wheel ride, Corazon takes him over to sign up for his trials, and they learn that the first event is the joust. Egbert used to be pretty good at jousting, when he was training for the trials the first time, but has hardly jousted since. They decide to have a practice run first, and Egbert and Dob run at each other, Egbert flipping Dob over his shoulder. He figures he’s ready for the joust, and he and Merilwen go to rent a horse, with Egbert telling the others he doesn’t want them to cheat on his behalf.

The others promptly ignore Egbert. They buy a foam lance, and look for Egbert’s opponent to sabotage him. They see from the listings that Egbert will be up against Cedric Allbright, and it’s not hard to find Cedric. Not only does he have luscious flaxen hair, he’s surrounded by a sycophantic entourage. Team Charismatic Cheat Friends decide to pretend to be from Knight Nightly Magazine, and ask Cedric for an interview. Then they can either swap out his lance, knock him out and have Corazon cast Disguise Self to take his place, or both, they haven’t decided yet.

Egbert and Merilwen are at the stables, and talk to the stablemaster about getting the best jousting horse. But the stablemaster says they don’t joust on horses, it’s changed since Egbert last took his trials, he’ll be riding a griffin.

The other characters don’t know this, but of course the players do, which may contribute to their decision that as Corazon was trained in riding as a child, he should take Cedric’s place. So they isolate Cedric in his trailer, Corazon asks him why he sucks so much to distract from Dob, who casts Sleep. Cedric drops, they bind and gag him, and they leave the bee-filled balloon over a candle where it will soon pop and release the bees. Corazon steals some of Cedric’s clothes, casts Disguise Self, and steps out. He calls for his horse so he can begin the joust, and the entourage correct him, to griffin.

Notes from Part One pre-show podcast commentary: Jane has settled on “It’s a Critical Hit to Your Brain” as the tagline, and Andy is helping her. This being the first of the live-streamed adventures, it was rather chaotic and they thought it would be short-lived – Johnny found their notes and it was called “Quarantine Oxventure”, as though it was going to be the only one done like that. Andy notes that he became a lot less fastidious about the costume once he realised how little would be visible. This is an Egbert-centric episode, and it seems rather bureaucratic, kind of like having to retake a driving test. Andy says that a stream adventure is harder to keep focused on than a live show (same for watching, tbh). With a live stream, you can’t take a bathroom break, and can knock over the tech a lot easier. Also, the first few streamed adventures didn’t record separate audio, so they had to tidy up the YouTube audio. Jane and Andy take a “which Oxventurer are you?” quiz. Andy is Prudence.

Notes from Part One post-show podcast commentary: Jane has been taking the quiz, and is Egbert. She and Andy clarify that Mike is not dim, and as far as they know has never done an arson. Andy liked the county fair vibe they brought with the candy floss and so forth. They discuss Renaissance Fairs, which are very scarce in the UK. Andy played Corazon as being jealous of Cedric, and they speculate how you’d fill a balloon with bees. They want the name “Charismatic Cheat Friends” to make a comeback. Then they talk about merch and their then-ongoing Blades in the Dark series.

Back at the tourney. Corazon disguised as Cedric is shown to Cedric’s griffin, Percy (I don’t know if Johnny did it deliberately, but this is amusing because Corazon’s childhood name was Percy). Percy does not like Cedric-azon, but given Corazon did steal the clothes, he does at least smell okay. Meanwhile, Egbert has his own griffin, who Merilwen failed to speak to, but Egbert is managing to keep it under control. He heads for the lists, and finds that his opponent is Cedric Allbright his childhood bully. Egbert and Cedric-azon face each other, and between not getting on with Percy and wanting to lose, Corazon is unseated. He jumps off, proclaims that he is unworthy of becoming a Paladin, and he will retire to his trailer, tie himself up and allow bees to sting him. His entourage scatters, some of them muttering that the Allbrights always were into some weird stuff.

Egbert then moves on to reversing a carriage around a corner, which he does expertly, and pamphletting. There are a series of pens with members of the public rounded up to be offered pamphlets. Corazon and Merilwen infiltrate Egbert’s pen to hype him up by advertising La Vache Mauve in advance; Egbert does notice Corazon, but assumes that the marshal recruited him. And Dob attempts to make Egbert look better by casting Prestidigitation on the next Paladin over so his smell repels everyone.

After some successful pamphletting, Egbert is shown to the obstacle course. Egbert remembers this as being a lot of fun, but most of his memories of it are rather fuzzy due to concussions. Merilwen turns into a cat to lurk under the course, and the others gather in the stands to see what they can do. There’s a series of doors to smash through, a water trough to leap over, a man with two polearms with padded ends, and an old woman in a chair. Dob decides to lurk in position to use his ramp to help Egbert get over the water trough, and the others prepare to use magic from the stands.

Egbert gets through the doors, with a little help from Heat Metal and then just opening the third. Dob sneakily unfurls the ramp, and Corazon casts Feather Fall, so Egbert sours over the trough. Egbert’s opponent falls in the water, and is having trouble getting out in him heavy armour, so Dob jumps in to rescue him – which prompts a man with two red flags to come out and swing them, announcing the Paladin disqualified. He bursts into tears in Dob’s arms, and Dob casts Calm Emotion. Meanwhile, Seal has escaped from Egbert’s pack and dived in the trough, where the audience is enamoured and throws him treats. Egbert approaches the platform with the man with the poles, and Corazon casts Grease. Egbert falls over, but so does the man, who slide off the course entirely. Then Egbert gets up and approaches the old woman. Egbert sits down with her, asks her how she is, and offers her some biscuits. She expresses that she feels like she’s always being watched by people who don’t car about her, they just want to see her incinerate people. Egbert offers to introduce her to his seal, and she accepts. She then accepts a pamphlet.

The last test is the arena. Max the inspector escorts Egbert there, giving a rather worrying pep talk. The others take seats, Corazon diverting to get some strangely-shaped pretzels and a drink for Prudence in a novelty giant drinking horn. Egbert enters the arena with to quite a bit of cheering, but his opponent enters to chants of “Stan!” Prudence examines her drinking horn and sees a logo of a minotaur, and Dob’s plushie has a sweater for Brawling Stan. For indeed, the opponent is a minotaur.

Egbert does not get to even try to fight the minotaur. Corazon uses Mage Hand to punch it in the crotch. Merilwen casts Spike Growth, which the minotaur runs through and grinds his hooves off. Dob casts Crown of Madness and throws his plushie into the arena, so Stan attacks it. And Prudence throws her magic orb at Stan, and it sucks him into its interior.

The marshal with the disqualification flags runs out, but is shouldered out of the way by the minotaur’s trainer, who declares that Egbert has passed his trials, just please release the minotaur. Except Egbert can’t, so the trainer sits and weeps. The marshal is furious; he tells Egbert he should be disqualified, but the trainer gave up first. He never wants to see Egbert again, so please keep up with his forms. Prudence collects her orb, which is glowing darkly and smoking. Frisky and The Darkness start to purr.

Notes from Part Two pre-show podcast commentary: Jane is joined by Mike for the Egbert-led episode. Mike has been playing arcade games, and reading old DnD comic books set in the Forgotten Realms. Jane has been playing various games such as Doom and Control to capture footage for the OxBox list vids. Regarding Blades, Mike finds it quite different to play a Human character, especially comparing the artworks to himself. Jane notes that Johnny hadn’t appeared much in fanart previously, due to being NPCs, but now they has a PC they’re in the fanart. They talk about how well Luke has been doing GMing Blades, and Jane expresses interest in GMing Vampire: The Masquerade. Jane also mentions she’s been playing Deadlands with Johnny off-vid – which of course pricks my ears up, given the team since started a Deadlands series.

Notes from Part Two post-show podcast commentary: Egbert got by with a little help from his friends. Mike points out that Egbert would never have asked, his friends did it anyway, and Jane points out that it was his good Paladin nature. They speculate how the DnD movie could be the brilliant start to a mega franchise (sigh). They talk about the arena fight, and Dob’s Crown of Madness was the last time he used it – my note, it’s only the second time he used it anyway, the first time being in Quiet Riot. And the minotaur being pulled into Prudence’s orb. Mike has been playing a Resident Evil multi-player game with Andy that he explains in detail.

I’m trying to think of what it was like when this came out, but it’s not easy. I had to watch all these adventures on catch-up, because I was still working, so I didn’t get the live experience. I do love this adventure. I liked the different challenges, the joust with the griffins, the obstacle course. The arena battle was a little anticlimactic, because it was just the charismatic cheat friends whaling on an unaware minotaur. The Seal is…still in development as a companion, so to speak. Frisky and The Darkness popping up occasionally is nice, I do like those demon books. And I have to agree that Charismatic Cheat Friends is a great team name.

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TAZ Balance Episode 14: Murder on the Rockport Limited Chapter 5

Written 16 Apr 2025, after relistening, having listened to the entire Balance arc some time ago.

The three pursue the crab-monster. When they open the door to the between-carriage where Jenkins’ body was, there is now only ash. They proceed through the sleeping car and the crab smashes through the door opposite. Merle casts Healing Word on Taako, who was pretty beat up after last time. The crab blasts more fire, and they dodge out of the way; Taako casts Melf’s Acid Arrow and Magnis smashes a chair over it, before Jess the Beheader runs up, her axe magically appearing in her hands, and smashes it in two. It dissolves into ash.

The three talk to Jess, who is a Champion with the Midworld Wrestling Federation, and has been doing a press tour before heading to Neverwinter for a bout with Greg the Leg Leg-Cutter. She gives Magnus her axe, but it vanishes from his hands and reappears in hers. She goes to investigate the scene of the crime, while the three consider their next move, and the possibility that someone nicknamed “The Beheader” might be responsible for a beheading. They decide to ask the first person on the scene, Graham the juicy wizard.

Graham is not entirely conscious and looking rather sick, but they smack him awake and start interrogating him – with a Zone of Truth up. Jenkins had been distributing drinks, took one to Hudson the engineer, and headed back to the dining and sleeping cars. A few minutes after Jenkins left the passenger car, Graham had decided to see if he could have another spell in the pleasure chamber, opened the door, and found Jenkins dead – no head, no hands. Jess corroborates Jenkins passwd through for drink, that shortly after Graham got up, and then Graham shrieked and fainted. She also denies killing Jenkins. So they decide to see Hudson.

Hudson, after learning about Jenkins’ death, absolutely refuses to unlock the door, and definitely not open the secure storage in the caboose. He points out that given it requires a full hour of prolonged contact, by the time they got it open they’d be in Neverwinter anyway. In the end, they have to leave Hudson locked in, and continue their investigations with the passengers.

Jenkin’s magic rod was missing, so they try to get everyone to empty out their pockets to see who has it. Angus and Graham comply; neither of them has the rod. Jess refuses, tries to get Magnus to turn out his pockets, and then sees Magnus has a small knife and starts accusing him of the murder – the knife would not have been able to cleanly remove a head. They try to investigate Jess, who is non-cooperative, but doesn’t have any blood on her, and Taako casts Detect Magic, but only finds magic items he already knew about, such as the various spell books and wizards’ wands (not Jenkins’), and I think Griffin made a wee mistake because he said Taako picked up on Railsplitter, which was locked away, but not Phantom Fist. All Jess has is her axe. So they decide to move on to the sleeping car and leave Scuttle Buddy to keep an eye on Jess.

I like this. I like that they’re attempting some lateral thinking, although there is probably a little too much hitting Graham on Magnus’ part. I like that there’s a diverse set of characters. I like the mystery – I’ll be honest, I do not recall who killed Jenkins, and while there is something that I’ve figured out, I’m not sure if it’s memory or deduction, so I’m not going to say what. Wanna have a guess yourself?

The players are trying to work out how to do things that aren’t combat, things like investigation and social interaction, and they’re not great at it, but they sure are trying. Griffin is also being a bit more clear that they’re messing around out of or barely in character too much, and I wish I could say they stop do that, but they do get better. They’re also still figuring out their characters in ways they don’t really have to do in later series. Obviously I’m still comparing them to their more experienced older selves, because I can’t really help it, but there’s definitely the bones of what they can do here.

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OX Guild Season 2: Exhibition Impossible

Written 09 Apr 2025, shortly after relistening, having watched and listened multiple times previously.

The Guild are lounging on the Joyful Damnation off the coast from Necropolis-on-Sea, when Merilwen and Prudence notice a disturbance in the water. To Prudence’s disappointment, it’s not tentacles; to Merilwen’s delight, it’s a whale! Specifically, it is the whale that rammed the Joyful Damnation back in Spot of Bother, which is confirmed after it spits up Panniers, Corazon’s former first mate. Panniers is no longer quite so murderously furious, having spent two years thinking about things. He’s also got some information. Corazon only has seven of the eight coins needed to break the curse on his crewmen (they will need returned to the Curse Hole they were stolen from), but Panniers met a man – also swallowed by the whale, but left it earlier – who knew of a man called Victor Dietrich, the man who lives in the Treasury.

The Treasury is a pirate legend; a vast trove of treasure and artefacts in a private collection, opening up to visitors once every five years. Most of the stories are of failed attempts to steal from it. Now, Panniers knows where it is, and that it’s time for the open house. The whale, now named Panniers Two, will lead the way. Dob decides to try out riding in the whale’s stomach with Panniers, and dives down its throat.

They arrive at the Treasury without incident, and they see several other ships arrive in the area and carefully take a meandering path to harbour. Merilwen turns into an octopus and slips underwater, hitching on another ship and releasing ink to mark the path. The need for a path is that underwater, there is a vast network of sea mines on moveable frames – and on the seabed, many wrecks.

Dob and Panniers reboard the Joyful Damnation, and Corazon skilfully follows Merilwen’s trail, until eventually she runs out of ink, reboards the Joyful Damnation, and indicates which way to go. They arrive safely.

The other guests are an eclectic mix, from large ships with wealthy crew, to a small boat with a single fisherman. But the guests hand over charts to an attendant, who destroys them. Dob uses a Minor Illusion to fake an already-torn chart and then convinces the poor attendant that he needs to go destroy the fragments as soon as possible, allowing them to enter without further scrutiny.

Notes from Part One pre-show podcast commentary: Jane, Mike and Ellen are still working on the tagline. Ellen has been watching Duck Tales and playing Dark Souls, and re-dyed her hair. Jane has been playing Animal Crossing – Ellen recalls her “Egg Room”. Mike has been learning Adobe Illustrator and playing Demon Souls, comparing the PS3 and PS5 versions. Jane also announces that the streams will be taking a hiatus before they come back with something new – that was when they paused to rework their structure for Season 3.

Notes from Part One post-show podcast commentary: Ellen comments on how Octowen was very useful strategically, and that she’s explosion-averse, balancing Mike. They comment on Dob’s use of Prestidigitation to flavour things. Panniers and the whale return – Panniers going from an antagonist to an ally. Panniers helps engender sympathy for Corazon’s crew. Mr Dietrich has yet to appear, which surprised Jane. Mike loves the mine-maze to the museum, and the insight into Dietrich’s personality.

The Guild enter the party, and any attempt to avoid attracting attention is scuppered by Egbert deciding to eat as many canapes as possible as fast as possible and creating a whirlwind of food. However, this does provide a distraction. Prudence peels off to examine the occult collection, while the others look for coins.

Egbert has attracted the attention of the host, Victor Dietrich. Dietrich notes that Egbert is a Paladin and asks about his Order of La Vache Mauve, eager to learn more and to get some pamphlets for his collection. So they retire to Dietrich’s study.

Prudence has found the occult section, her book-babies very excited, and is having a grand old time looking at the exhibits, when something starts calling to her. It’s an orb, and Prudence feels helpless to resist as it calls her closer.

Corazon, Dob, Merilwen and Panniers have found an expansive coin collection. So many coins, it’s hard to find anything in particular. Common coins, rare coins, a gold melon (that’s a reference to DiceBreaker’s Dungeon Breaker). Dob asks a passing curator, Corazon describing the skull on one side, the compass on the other, the distinctive chalmsford bevel. The curator doesn’t seem familiar with it – although it’s obvious they’re both bluffing about knowing a chalmsford bevel – and Merilwen tries to find it herself – except she gets confused and actually finds a monkey’s butt. Dob casts Message, asking Prudence to come help them Detect Magic.

Prudence is staring at the orb. A light grows on its glass case, eventually opening it up. Prudence feels compelled to reach out and take the orb. Then Dob’s Message arrives. She stuffs the orb in her bag and goes to join team coinage. She casts Detect Magic for them, and finds a “treasures of the sea” exhibit, lit a sort of liquid-y blue-green, with a coin in a case as the centrepiece.

Meanwhile, Egbert has been talking religion with Dietrich, and gives him plenty of pamphlets. Dietrich explains that he feels a little guilty about hoarding his collection, but he just can’t cope with the social demands of hosting more often than once every five years, after he gave up adventuring himself. Egbert tries to ask for a cursed coin in return for the pamphlets, as a token of their shared commitment to combat evil, but Dietrich says that the only cursed coin is the prize of his collection. He explains that the curse on the coin only affects the ones who remove the coins from their home, but as Dietrich acquired it second-hand, he’s safe from the curse. Egbert tries to convince Dietrich that by hoarding the coin, he’s forcing others to live with the curse, but Dietrich doesn’t care.

While Corazon and Panniers consider ways to get to the coin, Dob wanders off to a musical instrument curator. He feigns interest in a rare instrument – the recorder – to find out how to open the case – a complicated system of levers to disable a pressure system, which the curator says would trigger a silent alarm. Note, everyone here is very, very mean about recorders, which upsets me quite a bit, because good quality well played recorders sound very good, and I should know because I have taken grade exams in recorder. Philistines. Anyway, now Dob knows roughly how to open a case, he reports back to the others, but they decide that it’s too complex for Corazon, so after discussing several options, Corazon goes and forces Dob’s friendly music curator at knifepoint to come with them. The curator sees Dob, asks for help, and Dob tries and fails to cast Sleep on Corazon, before hiding in sheer discomfort with what’s happening. The curator tries to open the coin’s case, but says it’s much more complicated than the ones he knows. Unfortunately, he trips the alarm. Doors slam shut around the room, and a voice warns to input the security code within three minutes, or the room will be flooded with acid.

Notes from Part Two pre-show podcast commentary: Jane and Andy have finally settled on “Critical Hit To Your Brain”. He’s appalled at what’s been being talked about on the podcast – namely, Adobe Illustrator. They’re joined by Luke. They discuss possible options for preserving Oxventure for future generations, getting increasingly ridiculous. Jane’s been playing Animal Crossing; Andy and Luke haven’t, they’ve been playing Mario, and Luke has been grinding Monster Hunter. Then they talk a little about Blade in the Dark. And Jane explains that during their hiatus before Season 3, they’ve been learning to do the rules properly.

Notes from Part Two post-show podcast commentary: Luke notes that at this point, he didn’t know about upcasting – if he had, he might’ve succeeded in putting Corazon to sleep. Luke and Andy then argue over an accidental murder in Watch Out. Andy is insistent Corazon was not intending violence, but Luke insists it wasn’t clear. Jane loves the cliff-hanger. They note that Egbert is having a lovely time with Mr Dietrich. Apparently, a commenter called Dietrich’s fate the most existentially terrifying thing in Oxventure. And Jane mentions Blades in the Dark merch.

Egbert still in Dietrich’s office, and Dietrich decides to give him a gift – a cursed mace. The mace can turn people into random animals, maybe one time in six. Dietrich used it on a brigand, who turned into a chicken, which Dietrich then ate. They discuss the morality of that, but Dietrich is interrupted by an alarm in the coin exhibit. So Egbert bonks him on the head with the mace. It hurts Dietrich but doesn’t kill him, and misses on the second swing. Dietrich sounds another alarm, and draws his rapier.

Meanwhile, in the coin exhibit. Dob sees the doors have closed and is looking how to open them. Merilwen has panic-shifted into a bear and is trying to pull open the door. Corazon decides to just smash the coin’s case, grab it, and start fiddling with the mechanism. He manages to deactivate the acid and open the doors. The curator is stuffed in a cupboard, and they think it’ll be a clean getaway. Dob mends the glass and Corazon swallows the coin. But the voice comes back, activating an automaton.

In the office, Egbert overpowers Dietrich without killing him. He then taps him with the mace about twenty times, until he turns into a seal. Egbert promptly names him Seal Gaiman, and stuffs him under his arm, healing him before leaving to find his friends.

In the coin room, the others fight the automaton. It’s going…reasonably, until Merilwen casts Moonbeam. The Moonbeam not only damages the automaton, but also strikes the glass ceiling holding back the acid. It’s a matter of moments before the glass shatters and drops the acid on them. So Dob summons the skeletons, ordering them to carry his friends and the curator out without physically harming them, before dashing out himself. The acid falls behind them, but they are far enough away. The skeletons don’t stop until they reach the Joyful Damnation, Egbert coming along, and then they find an extra skeleton, because they forgot about Panniers. Panniers asks Corazon to wait a while before breaking the curse, because he needs to regrow a few things, and steals a boat to go reunite with Panniers Two. Meanwhile, the skeletons had been emotionally harming everyone by whispering really nasty stuff – for example, Corazon gets “your father wishes he succeeded in having you killed”. So everyone’s very upset, but they have the coin, and Egbert has a new mace and a pet. Then Panniers accidentally sets off the sea mines. Big explosion, little tsunami, but they’re all okay.

Notes from Part Three pre-show podcast commentary: Jane’s still not happy with the tagline, and Mike and Andy aren’t much help. Andy hs been playing a very meta game mobile game called There Is No Game, as has Jane. She has also been playing Hades. Mike has been playing Arkham Horror. And they played a game of Among Us on stream with Outside Xbox, Outside Xtra, EuroGamer and DiceBreaker. Then they talk about Easter eggs – the chocolate kind, not the video game kind. Andy complains about Godzilla Vs Kong. Andy does recommend going to see Godzilla movies with Luke, because Luke always whispers trivia. Jane asks if either of them have learned what spell slots are, but both claim they don’t use spells enough to need them. They muse that DnD is a form of communal daydreaming for adults, a form of play often neglected.

Notes from Part Three post-show podcast commentary: Jane says she’d forgotten the second alarm. Mike says he felt like this was the most peril they were ever in. They liked the skeleton-ex-machina, but apparently they were told to stop using them so much – which is fair. Seal Gaiman. Egbert is bad in a crisis, so decided to neutralise the threat of Mr Dietrich in a mostly-humane fashion, although he had to roll the d6 so many times. And then he had Seal Gaiman. How does Mike respond to the accusation that Gaiman is the worst thing Egbert has ever done? Mikes just points to the happy bomfs, although it was determined that the personality transferred entirely. They talk about other TTRPGs and merch.

I like this adventure – except for dissing the recorder, that is so unfair. I agree that Dietrich’s fate is kinda horrifying. The idea of this big museum, full of treasures…it would’ve been great to spend ages exploring it, but obviously that wouldn’t have fit the format. I loved the gold melon cameo; I love Prudence’s mystery orb; I adore Egbert’s mace – there’s no way that will cause trouble. I love the progression of Corazon’s arc – although it might be fun if there were some wee tales of how Corazon found the other seven coins.

Oh, a note regarding Seal Gaiman. The seal is, of course, named after author Neil Gaiman, about whom there are certain accusations. The seal was named years before these accusations were made, and as I understand it, Mike has decided to just omit the seal from adventures going forward. I don’t intend to comment more on that matter.

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OX Deadlands Season 2: Chapter 5: Rubente Dextera Part II

Written 19 Apr 2025, shortly after watching, before release of further episodes.

Morning comes for our monster hunters. Nate didn’t do anything demonic in the night. Marshal Luther Rackstraw is due to arrive at noon, so they have some hours to prepare for his arrival. Nate, Silas and Edie decide to focus on attempting to snuff out Rackstraw’s candle, thus eliminating the source of his power and leaving him vulnerable enough to be shot. They discuss a lot of convoluted plans, mostly involving buckets over doors, but John and Henrietta are not so impressed, describing it as clownish, and offer to make a deadfall trap. They agree to attempt both plans, and also turn over the jailhouse for more firearms.

John and Henrietta head off to make their trap, and the three head into the jail house. There’s a large room with a desk covered in books and ledgers, and two holding cells, and a staircase leading up. Silas goes upstairs and finds Rackstraw’s living quarters are even more spartan than the cells, but there is a pitcher of water he balances over the door. Nate uses his Infest ability to summon a swarm of flies to keep watch from on high for Rackstraw’s return. Edie goes through the desk, and finds a ledger of names, sins, and that the punishment is complete. The implication is that all these pages and pages of people have been fed to the Sin Eater. She also finds some handcuffs, which she pockets, and a key for the weapons cabinet. She then locates the cabinet and claims three Winchester repeating shotguns. She keeps one, gives one to Silas, and as Nate is happy with his own, takes the third to John and Henrietta.

John would very much like the shotgun. He and Henrietta have made a pretty good deadfall trap, although there is concern that if it works, it’ll seem very suspicious. Noon is approaching, so they take positions. Silas is on the second floor of the saloon, Nate in the main room of the jailhouse, Edie in Rackstraw’s room, and John and Henrietta in an old pharmacy, a little further away.

Nate hoots like an owl as his flies see Rackstraw, a man with long grey hair and full beard, patriarchal cross around his neck and black candle in hand. He’s flanked by two hooded figures and a barred carriage with several people in it. There’s the sound of a male voice choir singing a madrigal.

Marshal Rackstraw and his posse manage to bypass the pit trap, but as they come to the main street, Rackstraw pulls up his horse and looks around, sensing something’s not right. He looks directly at Silas and calls him out, asking if he’s come to reconsider his position. Silas says he’s come to get the candle. They exchange words, Rackstraw managing to be fairly menacing, Silas firing off a shot that goes wide and is passed off as a warning shot, and Rackstraw deduces the Sin Eater is dead – but that won’t stop Rackstraw. Combat commences.

While dealing the cards for initiative, Andy mentions Rackstraw’s goons are ghouls. The first rushes to Silas’s position, but Silas uses his new shotgun to blast it back. Rackstraw dismounts and casts Deluge, summoning a storm that darkens the sky, thunder rolls, lightning flashes, a downpour of blood-red rain. The force of the wind starts tearing at the roof of the saloon, and a lightening strike ignites one corner. The second ghoul goes for Silas and starts biting at him.

Meanwhile, Nate has heard the storm and lost faith in the bucket of water plan, so he removes the bucket and heads out of the jailhouse. Edie also leaves, but sets fire to Rackstraw’s room in a fit of pique first. John and Henrietta run out and attract the attention of the ghoul Silas shot, leading it away, trying to get it to the deadfall trap. Silas tries to shoot the ghoul grappling him, but misses, and they keep wrestling on the floor. Rackstraw pulls out a bullet and Consecrates Armament, to target it at Silas. Nate runs for the barred wagon and tries to free the prisoners, but the lock needs a patriarchal cross and it resists a whack from Nate’s shotgun.

The wounded ghoul falls into the deadfall trap and is stuck in a pit. Edie shoots her new shotgun at Rackstraw, but black flames engulf the bullet. Silas is still wrestling with the ghoul, he tries the shotgun, but can’t get a good angle. Nate tries to shoot Rackstraw, but the flames block it again. But Rackstraw sees Nate, whose manitou recognises Rackstraw, and Rackstraw says Nate (or the manitou?) got greedy, what he did to “her” is none of Rackstraw’s business, but he’s where he belongs. Then he casts Divine Wrath, and Nate is flung across the street and knocked unconscious. 

Edie grabs for the candle. She gets hold, but can’t get it out of Rackstraw’s hand. He lays a hand on her head and casts Enigma, words slithering into her mind, reminding her she’s a monster hunter, but Nate is as dangerous as any she’s ever hunted, so why is she tolerating it, how long until she must destroy him? And Johnny was giving the camera a real “kicked puppy” look during this, which was amusing. But Edie is shook and uncertain.

Silas finally manages to shoot the ghoul wrestling him, but not wound it. Nate comes to, and lets the devil - Johnny clarifies that it’s not a conscious decision on Nate’s part so much as a response to the extreme circumstances. He rushes forward and stabs the blade of the Hanging Judge revolver into Rackstraw’s chest; more black flame pours out and they start tussling, knocking Edie way. The ghoul wrestling Silas abandons that fight to tackle Nate, while Henrietta and John shoot and kill the trapped ghoul.

Rackstraw casts Hellfire on the saloon, badly injuring Silas as he gets burned and thrown out by the explosion. The lightning keeps striking, and Edie rolls snake eyes, and is struck. Nate snatches the candle from Rackstraw, who looks panicked, and the ghoul snatches it from Nate. Silas shoots Rackstraw point blank with the shotgun, and this time it lands. 

Fissures open up in the ground. Rackstraw cries to the heavens, “I did everything you asked of me!”, but it is not Heaven that responds. Orange light pours forth from the ground as emaciated hands reach up and start dragging Rackstraw into the abyss. More hands grab the ghoul, who’s still holding the candle, so Edie grabs for it and gets the candle, but the cracks are reaching towards the wagon of prisoners. Nate calls out that they need Rackstraw’s necklace to open it, so he tries to reach in to the abyss to get at Rackstraw, but he starts to fall; Edie catches him, but now hands have hold of Nate’s braces. Silas tries to help pull them back, but rolls snake eyes and knocks them all over the edge. (I’ve seen calculations; two snake eyes in one session is astronomically unlikely, but they managed it.) They manage to land on a small ledge, but they don’t have long. Rackstraw and the ghoul are gone, but the hands, shadowy figures, start reaching for them. Edie focuses on the candle, on the need to get out of there, and the candle flame turns yellow, forcing back the hands.

Then John and Henrietta reappear, pulling them out and asking what they were doing. After being told about Rackstraw’s necklace, John reminds them Boone also had one, so they get on the wagon horse and take it up to the mine, pull Boone’s necklace from the gore, and release the prisoners. They all part company and the hunters take the jail wagon. Silas having suppressed his fear of horses until they made it out of town, he moves back to ride in the wagon. Edie still carries the candle, which burns with a natural-looking light. 

As Nate looks into the candle, he has another vision. A flamboyant looking man with a book standing in front of a theatrical poster for Redstone, the One Who Knows. Then a music box wound by a man Nate recognises as State Governor Menelaus McDaniel. He relays these visions to the others - Edie identifies the first man as stage magician Howard Redstone - and they have their next targets. 

Then Johnny rolls on the Dominion Table to find out the cost of letting the devil out. At some point, the manitou will compel Nate to do something to disadvantage his companions.

Notes from pre-show podcast commentary: Andy and Jane talk about the live show. They found the experience of being in a dedicated show better than shows at ComicCons. It’s a pretty accurate description of what the show was like; I was there, it was brilliant. Jane has been busy; co-hosting the red carpet for the BAFTA game awards, hosting Twitch Galaxy Showcase, and she’s just been announced as participating in a Critical Role mini-series Thresher, which is being run by Jasper William Cartwright, a regular Oxventure guest, so I guess I’ll have to get into Critical Role.

Notes from post-show podcast commentary: Jane has stepped out and Mike has joined Andy. The rolls have been terrible, which made it really hard for Andy, because he didn’t want his characters to fall into Hell and die, in a SHOW. He couldn’t think of anything other than getting Henrietta and John coming to the rescue, and it felt narratively appropriate that the hunters saving them led to the hunters being saved. Mike found Rackstraw massively OP, until they figured out the candle. Andy mentions that he likes giving a variety of win conditions - in Queen of the River, he expected someone to run back to the lockbox at the start of the combat. Mike felt incredibly overshadowed by Rackstraw at the beginning, which Andy had introduced, so the feeling of victory later would be magnified. Mike likes when he can do something wild and it pays off. Andy wanted to make Rackstraw distinct, so he bought a supplement on Blessed Characters and tweaked some things in that. He wanted some things like the consecrated bullet and lightning to be more overhanging threats than actually used. Mike enjoyed getting to talk to Rackstraw first, and thinks there’ll be shadows of Rackstraw for some time. Andy played it that Rackstraw thought he was wielding a holy power, and at the last moment realises he was deceived. Andy mentions an overarching theme of this season is control, and who controls others. Rackstraw thought he had control, but he was the one being controlled. Andy gives a few details for the next episode and advertises the Hall of Oddities dice.

Selected notes from Deadlands Epitaph: Andy and Zack are almost hysterical at how bad the rolls are. Andy reckons that if it had been a homegame, he would’ve just let them die in the hell hole, but it would have been so anti-climactic. Zack mentions that the reason Queen of the River and Rubente Dextera were filmed out of order is that Luke was sick and couldn’t film that day, but Andy managed to forget he needed to not kill Silas on the riverboat once the game got going. Andy then talks about the way he built up the aura around Rackstraw and the use of a Blessed character, covering various abilities that didn’t get used. He then shows off the cards used for this adventure. There was more, but as it’s a Patreon exclusive, I’ll leave it there.

This was a nail-biting episode. Rackstraw was terrifying, but I found the sudden hell-pit even more terrifying. I liked that Silas got some closure with his past, and Edie and Nate got some good moments too. But can you imagine if it had gone wrong, and Garnet and Delacy are sitting in their office hearing the town their friends were in got swallowed up by Hell? Seriously scary.

There is also a theory going around, that Nate’s manitou is not the one he was first inhabited by. Andy has been saying that the events leading up to this season are a result of Nate letting the devil out during the fight with Victoria, but he let it out while fighting Boudreaux first. But the fight with Victoria took place in the Deadlands itself. This theory is that during that fight, the original manitou was supplanted by something stronger and deadlier.

The run of poor rolls is starting to annoy me, I must say, but there’s nothing that can be done about it. I’m looking forward to less fretful episodes, and hopefully better rolls.

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TAZ Balance Episode 13: Murder on the Rockport Limited Chapter 4

Written 09 Apr 2025, shortly after relistening, having listened to the entire Balance arc some time ago.

The three enjoy a nice lunch made by Jenkins the wizard-attendant, and then he encourages them to try the pleasure chamber. He uses a rod to open a portal, to a beautiful botanical garden. Taako examines the magic, and finds it's a limited teleportation magic. Afterwards, Jenkins has duties elsewhere, and the three are left in the dining car with Angus MacDonald.

They go to talk to Angus. He asks about their journey , and their names, and accuses them of lying about their names, demanding the truth. He's been reading a book, and Taako casts Detect Magic, finding that the book is imbued with divination magic. Magnus snatches the book and tosses it to Taako. Taako can tell that the book is an Interceptor, and finds it has a message saying that Leeman Kessler and co are not who they said they were, that they used Charm magic, and that they are to be handed to the authorities when they reach Neverwinter.

The three and Angus demand answers from each other, and go to Angus’ sleeper cabin to talk. Angus reveals that he is a detective, hired by the Rockport City Council to find a serial killer known as the Rockport Slayer, who keeps killing rich people and stealing their valuables. The three demonstrate that they literally cannot tell him where they come from, but assure him that they have common interests. Angus says he believes the Rockport Slayer killed the real Leeman Kessler and is now aboard the train. The message was sent down the rail line by Tom Bodet. Angus suspects Kessler had some sort of valuable that is now on the train…but the three can’t say what. Angus decides that they don’t possess the competence to be the Rockport Slayer, but further conversation is interrupted by a shriek.

They rush out, and in the passage between cars, they find the headless, handless body of Jenkins. And also the fainted body of Graham the Juicy Wizard. An examination of the body shows that the beheading was clean, but the removal of the hands was not; there are no signs of a struggle before death, and Jenkins’ rod and magic implements are missing. Angus pulls out a hand crossbow and points it at the ceiling where a shape is forming - a monstrous crab-like creature with a gaping maw. Angus grabs Graham and drags him into the passenger car, while the three consider fighting, before following and shutting the door on a gout of flame.

Angus is upset because he’d wanted the three to lead the crab-monster into the sleeper car; now it’s breaking through at them, and also Jess. The three stand their ground and fight the monster, mostly using magic, but Magnus uses the Phantom Fist gauntlet to punch the crab-monster out the window, where it grinds between the train and tunnel, taking a lot of damage before getting back in, further down the train.

This episode was a lot better than the last one; while the players did muck around a bit, it was a lot briefer; not sure if the players quit sooner, or Griffin cut them off sooner. Which meant we could actually get to the plot.

Angus is an interesting young lad. Taako is reaping the consequences; he didn’t need to cast Charm Person, they just had to act as though there’s a lick of sense in their skulls. But putting Kessler’s murderer on the train is a great move.

I’m not sure anyone’s tracking spell slots at this point, and there’s the odd thing that just seems not by the rules - at one point Griffin mentions Reflex saves, which are not a thing in 5e. But as I have said previously, it was a new edition, they had limited experience, so I’m not complaining. I’m just enjoying actually getting to the game and story.

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The star of Rubente Dextera

Those who meet Marshal Rackstraw had best hope to be free from sin or the Marshal will cleanse them himself… 💀

This incredible art is by Colin Craker

Oxventure Deadlands is back with all-new episodes!

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TAZ Abnimals Episode 27: A Walrus Among Us

Written 18 Apr 2025, shortly after listening, before release of Ep28.

Walter Russell enters the room where our three heroes are rescuing Carver. Navy had been waiting to attack anyone who came in, but wasn’t prepared for Russell, so he holds, but remains concealed. Lyle asks Russell what the Walrus has on him that he’s helping him, and it is finally, finally cleared up that Russell is indeed the Walrus. Everyone knows now. Except maybe the Greenback Guardians. The Walrus orders Roger to return Carver to the hospital bay and hook him up again, and Roger complies, at least he seems to, because he’s also trying to feed Carver a slice of pizza Scuzz gave them as they left the base (I think I omitted that from the relevant episode recap because it got swallowed by a long tangent about dumb waiters). The feeding is slow but successful.

Seeing the Roger’s up to something, Lyle elects to cause a distraction by pretending to eat the radioactive burrito, and rolls extremely well, so it’s a very convincing faux eating, panicking Walrus somewhat. He retreats to his desk and slams his hand down on a button that starts lowering the wall of the aquarium, spilling water into the office. Navy decides that it’s possibly a little past time to step in, and grapples Walrus, meaning an opposed roll. Walrus rolls very well, but Navy does not, but as Navy had the element of surprise, Travis gives him advantage, and he rolls extremely well – well enough to restrain the Walrus. But the doors are sealed and emerging from the tank are five villains – Manta Ray Romano, Pit Bull Shark, Eel McDonough, Nicole Squidman and Sea Snake Gyllenhaal. Navy, having noticed that Roger isn’t exactly aquatic, tells Walrus to call off his buddies and stop flooding the room, but Walrus is offended anyone would imply he has a relationship with his goons. Sea Snake goes for Lyle, Squidman for Navy, Bull Shark for Roger, Manta Ray doesn’t have legs and the water is too shallow, and Eel hides.

Sea Snake wraps himself around Lyle, and he’s just a seasnake body with a mostly human head, no limbs, but Justin made one of Lyle’s skills his ability to breathe, so he is able to resist being crushed. Navy is too solid and bulky for Squidman to pull him off Walrus, so she propositions him, and while he’s a bit wrong-footed, he’s also able to observe that these don’t look like most Abnimals – usually there’s a better balance of human and animal features, but these aren’t right. Side note, until this was said, I thought these five were probably the other members of the Bayside Baddies, but I’m thinking they’re actually creations from the attempts to replicate the Greenback Guardian creation process, and I had wanted a big climactic battle with mutated experiments, so score one for me. Meanwhile, Roger uses his mondo move Wango Bango Tango to counter Bull Shark’s grab and spin him across the hospital bay, then back out, laid flat by Carver, who’s standing up, finishing the pizza and ready for a fight.

The water level is still rising and Manta Ray is increasingly mobile, and Roger could be in trouble. Now, they were saying that because the aquarium was two-thirds of the floor, and the office one third, the flooding of the office would drown Roger, but I’m not sure that’s necessarily true; the office would only fill two-thirds full, so I’d say there’d probably be enough air to support him at least for a time, although he would be at a severe disadvantage and probably unable to defend himself, and might need active assistance if he can’t swim. But, Walrus and Navy are also both mammals, albeit aquatic ones, and Carver is a reptile, possibly Sea Snake Gyllenhaal too (I don’t know much of anything about seasnakes), so they would also need to come up for air at some point. But suffice to say, it’s really not good for Roger to let the room flood. So Navy looks at the buttons on Walrus’ desk, finds there’s a lot of them and none are labelled, so uses his splashpack to blast himself and Walrus into the desk, and threatens Walrus with death if he doesn’t wind up the aquarium wall. But Eel has swum underwater and administers a shock to Navy; he keeps hold of Walrus, but takes all the damage.

Lyle is rolling around, wrapped in Sea Snake, and reaches for Hatchet Man, thinking of cutting his own limbs off to escape. But the foresight power kicks in, and he has a vision of the nuns who trained him (I don’t remember nuns being mentioned before) telling him that in extreme circumstances, it’s alright to use Hatchet Man as a weapon; it may be a tool, but it’s solving the problem of the snake. (This is important because all along, Lyle has been insisting that Hatchet Man is a tool not a weapon, and is not to be used on people.) So he chops at the snake.

Another thing I almost certainly glazed over, is that Roger has been stuffing random things in his pockets the whole time, and it now becomes relevant. He takes out a mortar and pestle he stole for one of Scuzz’ laboratories, uses them to grind up some mints he found in the executive bathroom adjoining the office they’re currently in, and then adds the crushed mints to a bottle of Seltzer water he got from the hospitality bot while Navy was making peace with his father. It starts doing the mentos and coke thing, and he sticks it in Manta Ray’s mouth, causing Manta Ray to rocket across the room and knock over Eel McDonough.

Gosh darn was this good. I’m starting to regret skimming over so many details in previous summaries, though. Apparently next episode will be the finale, which I’m satisfied with, but it will be in two weeks – I think I can cope with that. Looking back, it should have been obvious from before the game even started that Russell was the big bad – he was the only non-player other than the Greenback Guardians Travis mentioned in the set-up episode. But billionaire industrialist philanthropists in this genre tend to be either Lex Luthor or Bruce Wayne anyway.

I love all the cunning things they’re doing here. I like the judicious use of mondo moves, the cunning application of skills, the way Justin clearly prompted Travis to allow Lyle to change his modus operandi. It’ll be fun to have the final fight, but I’m also hoping for a satisfying wrap-up as to how everyone goes back to their lives.

There is a slight problem with this campaign, in my mind, which is that in the space of about one week in-game, our heroes have gone from disparate non-entities to the guys changing the social face of the city (probably). There’s been very little development of their place in the various Abnimal and non-Abnimal circles; they haven’t had many missions before they got stuck into the big thing with Carver being kidnapped, and only one didn’t involve the main hitters. I just think it needed a little more mundane crime-fighting. So I’m hoping that there’ll be either one-shots or a second season with less dramatic stakes. But this is still a great story and a great game.

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OX Guild Season 2: Peak Performance

Written 08 Apr 2025, shortly after relistening, having watched and listened multiple times previously.

As the adventure opens, Corazon tries to get Dob to perform a song written in Corazon’s honour, which Dob refuses to do, but he does sing a little of the charity single the team wrote called “Literally Everyone Else In The World”, in honour of DM Johnny.

The Guild are in the manor at Necropolis-on-Sea, which Corazon is trying to sell and Prudence is trying to prevent from being sold. There’s a sudden clap of thunder and the wizard Binbag appears. Everyone re-congregates to see what he wants. There is a great evil at the top of a nearby mountain that he wants dealt with. Corazon is eventually cajoled into going with the rest of them. They all get winter gear, including Egbert producing his coat of 79 wolves and one dog, while Bismuth packs a tent and fits a small barrel of rum to Prudence’s book-baby Frisky. They hike to the mountain, and find what must have once been base camp. There’s some rather old inscriptions, and the newest – though still quite old – is in Druidic; it is a warning of a dragon living at the top of the mountain. Corazon is even less keen on continuing, until Dob mentions dragons tend to have lots of treasure.

Dob, Merilwen and Egbert (who is carrying Bismuth) start up the long, winding trail – Merilwen turning into a giant octopus and tugging the others along for better purchase. Meanwhile, Prudence is impatient and casts Spider Climb; she, and Corazon roped to her, climb the cliff face directly.

Merilwen and Dob hear a sort of whining, and their team go investigate. There is a wolf stuck in a snare. Merilwen, turning back into an Elf, casts Speak With Animals to calm him while Dob frees him. The wolf can’t say much about who trapped him, but does embarrass Egbert into taking off his coat. He runs off to find something small and helpless to eat.

Meanwhile, Prudence is musing that if there’s gonna be a great evil on the mountain, it better be her, when she comes face to face with a spiky little creature made of ice that screeches, causing a distant rumble – an Ice Mephit.

Notes from Part One pre-show podcast commentary: Andy is with Jane, and they’re still working on a tagline. Some has made an Oxventure themed music medley. Peak Performance was their penultimate live recording before the pandemic. They’ve been playing Hitman 3. They found a video of someone playing the Mendoza level and killing every single NPC in the wine press at once. And Andy gives Jane a True-dence Or False quiz, but the clock ran out on them. This bit does include spoilers for future adventures, but without context.

Notes from Part One post-show podcast commentary: Andy finds it funny to hate on Binbag. Jane likes the wolf and threat of freezing and avalanches, and Andy liked Mike setting up shield tobogganing. Andy also liked Dob refusing to sing Corazon’s song. They talk about character makeup and eyeliner. Then Jane reads out some reviews.

Prudence and Corazon fight the Ice Mephit. Concerned about possible avalanches, they stick to weapon attacks, which is a rarity for Prudence, and they kill it. Slightly further away, the others hear the screeching and catch up. The two teams swap stories, and Dob and Egbert start taking cold damage due to failed con saves, narratively described as them being underdressed. Dob offers to cast Heat Metal on something, and Egbert insists that it should be his armour. Johnny has remembered that Egbert is resistant to fire damage, not immune, so he takes some fire damage, but is now warmer. They crowd around the hot breastplate and sip from Frisky’s rum barrel, fortifying themselves for the next leg.

They continue hiking, when most of them hear a distant rumbling. Egbert has stuck his tongue to his mace, which Dob is flavouring, and Prudence is lost in her thoughts. Luckily for her, Corazon pulls her back before a boulder falls right where she was walking.

They reach a likely spot to make camp, and find a pit trap full of wooden spikes. They skirt around it and erect the tent, but Dob wants to use the spikes in the pit to erect a palisade around their camp. Unfortunately, in trying to retrieve the spikes, Dob falls on one and gets a little skewered. Egbert rescues him, but Prudence notices something magical. There’s magic on the spikes, and some of that magic has now gone into Dob.

Corazon takes first watch, but sleeps through it. When Merilwen wakes him for her shift, he claims he saw off a band of goblins in an obvious lie, but then muffs a perception roll and thinks he sees a bear. Merilwen sends him to bed, then goes to check it out, and finds footprints. Someone, a humanoid someone, not a bear, came up to their camp, walked around it, and left. She rouses everyone, and they go investigate.

Merilwen casts Speak With Plants to ask a tree if it knows anything. The tree knows that there’s a person in the general area who cut down some trees to make a cabin, and roams the area. It agrees to tell them the general direction, if they kill a woodpecker that lives in its branches and has been upsetting it. Merilwen would rather convince the woodpecker to relocate, but Corazon goes ahead and shoots it.

Notes from Part Two pre-show podcast commentary: Jane is joined by Ellen and Mike. Jane gets them talking about the then-upcoming DnD movie (Honour Among Thieves), and a possible Mass Effect movie. Ellen has been playing Half Life Alyx and utterly loves it.

Notes from Part Two post-show podcast commentary: Merilwen doesn’t talk to plants very often. Mike reckons this is when Don and Egbert started escalating trying to see who could do the dumbest thing. They note that they do a lot more gesturing in person than on livestream, which is of course lost on podcast listeners. Also lost on listeners are the costumes. And they discuss the then-ongoing Blades in the Dark series.

They move through the wood in the direction the tree indicated. After a time, they find a snare, with a rabbit caught in it. The rabbit is freshly dead, and Prudence casts Detect Magic – it is full of the same magic as was on the spikes. While they watch, it reanimates, slips out of the snare, and starts hopping away. Corazon panics and kicks it out of sight. They consider what to do, with suggestions of putting Egbert’s coat, or the dead woodpecker in the trap – the woodpecker has already been dismembered and toasted – and Corazon decides to just shoot a fresh woodpecker. He does so, but when they put it in the snare, nothing happens. They speculate that maybe the trap has to kill the animal, so Corazon wounds another woodpecker, and puts it in the trap, which kills it. The woodpecker then comes out of the snare, is lightly punted by Corazon, and flies off in the same direction the rabbit was going. They guess the animals were being necromantically reanimated and heading for the cabin.

They follow where the animals went, and do indeed see the cabin. They can tell from the footprints that the occupant has left and not yet returned. Dob jumps onto the cabin’s roof, while the others sneak inside. They find the cabin is full of taxidermy animals, and there is a basket with the rabbit and woodpecker. They decide that Dob will keep watch on the roof, and the others will disguise themselves in the taxidermy. Merilwen turns into a cat, and the others slot themselves into dead animals with varying success. Merilwen is not happy with the trapper; she respects hunting, not this necromancy.

The trapper eventually returns. He comes into the cabin, looks around. He is tall, and rugged, wearing furs and leathers, and on his head…what looks exactly like Merilwen.

Because this is the trapper that put out the trap that Merilwen’s pet cat Simon was caught in. And she saved him from the trap, but he died eventually. And he dug himself out of his grave, and walked into the trapper’s basket, and got turned into a hat. Merilwen demands the trapper take Simon off his head, or she’ll make him.

Notes from Part Three pre-show podcast commentary: Jane is joined by Andy and Luke, still without tagline - either “critical hit to your brain”, “roll a nat 20 for your ears”, or “dunking on dragons”. This turns into talking about basketball. They’ve found a quiz about what insults have been lobbed at Corazon, which they play with.

Notes from Part Three post-show podcast commentary: Luke has fond memories of Corazon wrecking the zombie animals. Dob is still cursed to walk up the mountain, no matter where he is – there is a Paladin ability called Remove Curse, but who knows if Mike knows that? They consider what form a taxidermy Dob might take. This was Luke’s favourite episode until Sail of the Century. They go back to discussing the possible tagline.

They fight the hunter, who when asked gives his name as Vex. He causes a taxidermy bear to be animated, and Corazon sets said bear on fire. Egbert body slams Vex into the fiery bear. Prudence’s Eldritch Blast blows the roof off the cabin, and wakes the dragon. They keep fighting, even though the dragon is on its way. Merilwen grabs the Simon-hat, and they pin Vex (destroying Dob’s rapier) and try to run…as the adult White Dragon arrives. Egbert speaks to it, blames the disruption on Vex, and the White Dragon destroys him. Egbert and Merilwen manages to talk down the Dragon, but Corazon sees a glinting of the Dragon’s gold pile. Corazon is tempted, but decides not to attempt it. The Dragon tells them to leave, but says he’s sparing them only due to respect for the lady of the necropolis.

Egbert and Dob toboggan down the mountain on Egbert’s shield, Bismuth on Egbert’s back. Corazon and Prudence jump off the side and Corazon casts Feather Fall. Merilwen takes a meditative walk down, finding a place to rebury Simon.

As the episode ends, Andy plays his Corazon song.

Notes from Part Four pre-show podcast commentary: Jane and Andy play the tagline of rolling dice and “A Critical Hit To Your Brain” recorded by Luke the previous part, for Johnny. It’s Johnny’s first time on the podcast. Johnny says DMing for Oxventure is always boundary-pushing, that they can through anything out there and everyone will always find a way to resolve it, even if that involves skipping a boss fight. Vex, the hunter, came out of a conversation between Johnny and Ellen about what she wanted from Merilwen. Merilwen generally just goes with the flow, but she noted that Merilwen never really gets angry, so Vex was laser-focused to upset her. The lightbulb was that Vex isn’t even sorry. Ellen sold the anger so well Johnny was afraid they’d actually upset her. At time of recording, Johnny had just launched their Patreon, and talks about how their independent enterprise is going. They also propose a drinking game involving finishing your drink if Egbert does something surprisingly clever.

Notes from Part Four post-show podcast commentary: Johnny explains that the Dragon could well have caused a total party wipe, which means Egbert’s polite talking to it was a very smart move. Andy reveals he did roll to see if Corazon would try for the gold. Jane finds it amusing that Merilwen was having a slow sombre walk while Dob and Egbert went tobogganing. Johnny says they knew they were taking a cheap shot by turning Merilwen’s most precious companion and turning him into a hat, but Ellen sold it. They talk a little about theories regarding Bismuth. Johnny also takes the opportunity to talk a little about their Blades character.

This is a very good adventure. There’s a lot of silliness – such as Heat Metaling Egbert’s armour – and some real seriousness – Simon the hat. It’s satisfying, partly because they managed to fit quite a bit in to one adventure – there’s the trapped wolf, the Ice Mephit, the boulder, environmental damage, all before they get to the main thrust. Dob getting himself cursed, very amusing. I think it’s worth mentioning that this adventure predated Icewind Dale: Rime of the Frost Maiden’s release – that book has a lot of details for how to run a game in cold, mountainous regions, but Johnny had to do it themself. And they did a good job. I think they also managed to have everyone come on the podcast at some point to talk about this adventure, which is nice, especially Johnny finally making it on.

It's a very satisfying adventure. A very good blend of all the ingredients.

[katgametable]

TAZ Balance Episode 12: Murder on the Rockport Limited Chapter 3

Written 09 Apr 2025, shortly after relistening, having listened to the entire Balance arc some time ago.

The three step into the passenger areas of the train, and are met by an Elf man in Rockport Limited uniform, who introduces himself as Hudson, the engineer. He checks their tickets and takes their weapons (but not the Umber-ella or Phantom Fist gauntlet), locking them in the cargo for the duration of the journey. He explains that he will be driving, and his compartment will be sealed for the duration. There is much unnecessary laughing over this, and also the phrase “the package is in the caboose”. Griffin does actually call them out for not providing good entertainment for listeners, but…they do not listen.

The passenger compartment has three other passengers: a very muscular Dwarf woman, a fancily-dressed school boy, and a young man in wizard’s robes with “Juicy” on the butt. (I don’t know how the three know about the Juicy, seeing as he’s sitting down, but he has been dubbed the Juicy Wizard.) They pass through to the sleeper car, where another uniformed Elf introduces himself as Jenkins, the wizard-attendant. He has a technicolour, prismatic bow tie. He shows them to their cabin, although the journey will only last three hours, and tells them about the other compartments – the one they haven’t seen yet is the dining car, where he is also the chef. He is cajoled into revealing that the Dwarf woman is Jess the Beheader, a famous athlete in the bloodsports. But this conversation is exceptionally painful, because Griffin is barely allowed to get half a sentence out before the others interrupt him. It was awful. Relistening, there was a moment when I wondered why I’d kept at it. I mean, I’m glad I did, but I absolutely hated this.

The train pulls out of the station, and into the tunnel going through The Teeth. After a little bit, the three return to the passenger compartment, but the others have left. There’s a exclamation from the dining car, so they go there. The boy is reading at one of the tables, but the Juicy Wizard is stepping out of a sort of booth that Jenkins appears to be working magic on. Jenkins explains that this is the pleasure chamber, that it uses teleportation magic to send the occupant to another room somewhere else in the world. The Juicy Wizard had been visiting a pre-prepared tropical beach room, but any other room Jenkins can find is available. They ask for their bunkroom, the cargo hold of the train, and the engineer’s compartment, before deciding they’ve messed with Jenkins enough.

Merle goes to evangelise to the boy. This doesn’t go great, but they get chatting and learn his name is Angus McDonald, and he is going to Neverwinter to see his grandfather. The conversation is not very fun. Then they go to chat with the Juicy Wizard, who’s name is Graham, and he recognizes Taako from TV (this will get developed as part of Taako’s character). Graham is not a very good wizard, partly because he can’t decide which school of magic. He takes the train a lot because he loves it and is astonished by the pleasure chamber. He really wants to work on the trains someday. Our three are still not good conversationalists, so Graham makes an excuse to move away from them.

IMO, a good 60% of this episode should have been consigned to the cutting room floor. The boys really, really needed to learn to stop trying to make fun of every last little thing and flogging it like a dead horse. If you’ve read my Abnimals summaries, from a game a decade after this one, I’m still complaining about it, but these days it is much, much better.

And part of the reason why it’s driving me up the wall is because the game is very, very good – I think I said that last episode, it’s still true. If they just played the game. And unfortunately they do keep putting useful, interesting stuff in the middle of their messing around, so you can’t even skip it.

Griffin did call them out for being menaces. I don’t recall exactly, but hopefully they do tone it down (Ed. 16 Apr, yes they do), because I just want the game and the story.

[katgametable]

OX Guild Season 2: Rolling In The Deep

Written 04 Apr 2025, shortly after relistening, having watched and listened multiple times previously.

This was a live show at MCM Birmingham in November 2019.

Several days after winning a haunted manor, the Oxventurers are having a drink in Bismuth’s tavern and playing a drinking game involving rhyming couplets. Prudence comes up with, “My name is Prudence and I’m here to say, I love Eldritch Blast in a major way,” when she’s interrupted by a severed head being thumped onto the table in front of her. Dob casts Speak With Dead on it, ignoring the man who delivered it, but it’s unable to talk, so all they learn from facial expressions and blinking is that it doesn’t like Prudence and they should talk to the man.

The man is a hermit, and he informs Prudence that she killed the man whose severed head he delivered - it is Cyrus, the hermit Warlock who raised Prudence. Prudence says she killed him because he wasn’t very nice (it’s not mentioned here, but in the character introductions back at the beginning of Spicy Rat Caper, Jane said the hermit named Prudence thus because he thought it was hilarious to name a devil-baby after a virtue), and because he was in her way. He, and his hermit acquaintances, were (are) Warlocks in service to Zargon the Returner, and Prudence did not want to serve Zargon, so she made a pact with Cthulhu instead.

However, Prudence’s actions have upset the Guild of Hermits (who usually only communicate via letters), and they demand that she break her pact with Cthulhu, make one with Zargon, and return to the hermit life in Cyrus’ cave. Prudence refuses, and the hermit threatens to kill her, her friends, her friends’ friends and family, and anyone who seems connected to them, starting with Bismuth - a threat which angers the Oxventurers much more than threats to themselves. But it must seem obvious that killing the Oxventurers will not be easy for two or three hermits, because the hermit goes to consult with at least one other, and they decide to off Prudence a deal: if she does a job for them, they’ll count the debt paid. There is another cave nearby where the resident hermit was killed, and they need the killer dealt with and the cave liberated for the next resident. This is deemed acceptable.

The Oxventurers head for the cave, and take Bismuth along. The first obstacle in the cave is a ravine. Egbert speculates that it might be a test of faith, and Dob ropes them all together before Egbert steps off the cliff, confident there’s an invisible bridge right below him. There is not, but at least the rope catches him. Looking around, the Guild spots a lever in a sort of box-maze. Corazon offers to cast Mage Hand, but before he can, Merilwen turns into a giant octopus - her third animal form. She squishes herself into the box (Johnny is audibly disgusted), and pulls the lever, extending a rickety wooden bridge across the ravine.

Note, Ellen tends to indicate if Merilwen is in animal form using props. She has a cat cuddly toy, a hat with bear ears and dangling pieces connecting to mitts, and an octopus hand puppet. There have been times when Johnny has had to remind Ellen that she can still speak English, and she doesn’t have to roll dice with the puppet.

So the bridge comes out, but Merilwen and Prudence decide to walk across the walls anyway, Merilwen with octopus suckers and Prudence with Spider Climb. Then they come to a cave with a hermit’s living set-up, and a skeleton with a cracked skull. Dob casts Speak With Dead again, and this time they learn some stuff. These are the questions: How did you die? Axe to head. Who did it? It was from behind, but probably a big troll. What’s the best way through cave? He never explored, as it was too dangerous. What’s your favourite song? Hermits don’t like music. How many trolls? Didn’t see, at least one. So they continue.

They come across a chest labelled in Infernal “Full of spiders, do not open”, which Prudence translates as “Full of treasure, please open”, so Corazon opens it and gets a face full of spiders. The next chest, Prudence’s book babies (now named Frisky and The Darkness) are very excited about; it is labelled, “Full of salted meat, do not open”. This time Corazon opens it from a distance with Mage Hand, and it is indeed full of salted meats, which the book babies chow down on happily. The third chest they come across is labelled “Full of treasure, do not open”, but when Corazon tries to Mage Hand it open, he finds it to be locked; so he Mage Hands his lock picks to open it. When he does so, the floor collapses beneath them and they all plummet. Corazon casts Feather Fall, but can only target five, so Bismuth is left to smash into the ground. Luckily, she seems absolutely fine, if rather compressed.

Octo-wen goes ahead to scout out the cave, and sees a whole load for creatures that look a bit like brains, with lots of tentacles. She reports back, and Prudence identifies them as Grell - one of Cthulhu’s favourites - who are pretty dangerous; intelligent, with a paralysing sting, but able to be reasoned with. Dob comes up with a plan involving disguising him and Egbert as tentacles, attaching them to Octo-wen, and then pretending to be another Grell. The disguise process goes critically well.

When they reach the Grell, Dob casts Comprehend Languages to speak to them, and…it’s really very convoluted. But it boils down to, Dob is an emissary of Grell-King, who has come to recruit them for a troll hunt, and brought along some humanoid adventurer prisoners for a laugh. So off they go, although Corazon does manage to annoy one Grell into temporarily paralysing him.

When they reach where the troll is, they find him tending to a series of tanks. After Prudence converses with him, they determine the troll is in the employ of Liliana, and is growing clones of Egbert. Prudence eventually convinces him she’s an envoy of Liliana and that he’s got to destroy the clones and start again from scratch - so the troll smashes open a tank, freeing the practically complete Egbert clone.

What follows is a rather messy battle while they fast run out of time. At various points Egbert is trying to recruit his “son”; at others, they’d fighting to the death. The Grell help fight, but the troll keeps trying to smash open more tanks for a while. Eventually, the troll and the Egbert clone are dead, Dob (in his Grell voice) “reveals” that he was Grell-King all along and these Grell are now his successors to rule as a council, and Prudence pours the Pale Tincture poison she got from Jacques Darkfall into the remaining tanks, killing the rest of the clones.

Notes from pre-show podcast commentary: Andy and Luke join Jane, all fresh from recording Blades. Luke has to try to scribble down as many notes as possible in the immediate aftermath of a session to avoid it all fleeing his mind. He’s got colour-coordinated notes and spreadsheets and everything; Jane just likes turning up and rolling dice. They are still trying to come up with a tagline. Luke comes up with “A Critical Hit To Your Brain”, which unfortunately would be very bad (and yet, that tagline will stick). Then they discuss possible ways to have more adventures named after Adele songs, like Skyfall, Chasing Pavements, or Set Fire to the Rain. Rolling in the Deep is a dungeon crawl, and Luke always imagines dungeon crawls as if they’re animated like the old cartoon show. After looking at the show, they start wishing for mounts. Of the MCM, Luke remembers never seeming able to get to the train on time, but liking the ritual of getting the train together with suitcases of costumes. The convention centre is so big there always seems to be something else on at the same time. Andy remembers they’d then go to TGI Fridays for dinner, which was always incredibly busy.

Notes from post-show podcast commentary: They missed live shows, and are rather disoriented by where 2020 went (aren’t we all?) Johnny had checked with Jane about Prudence���s backstory; Jane kinda regrets not getting into the complicated relationship, but also reckons it’s very in-character to be glib about it. Luke loves Speak With Dead, especially the cryptic questions. It was a bad episode for Corazon, what with the spiders and the paralysing. Dob liked the Grell, and wishes they could play as them. They discuss the Dob costume and Dob’s personal hygiene, and the expansive spa facilities on the Joyful Damnation.

I have mixed feelings about this episode; it’s not a favourite, partly because I found Dob’s telling five different stories to the Grell to be really rather embarrassing to hear. I loved the dungeon crawl to them, I loved the troll and the Egbert clones afterwards, it’s just I really don’t jive with the Grell. Which is a pity, but also very much a matter of taste, so just because I didn’t enjoy it doesn’t mean no-one else will. I agree with Jane that it would have been interesting to explore the complexities of Prudence’s childhood a little more, but I can’t fault her reasoning. I do also like when Frisky and The Darkness are doing things. And Dob playing with Speak With Dead is hilarious. Overall, a decent adventure.

[katgametable]

TAZ Balance Episode 11: Murder on the Rockport Limited Chapter 2

Written 08 Apr 2025, shortly after relistening, having listened to the entire Balance arc some time ago.

The combat against the leeches continues. Highlights include Taako casting Thunderwave - which I particularly like because it’s a speciality of Dob from the Oxventurers Guild -, Merle getting rather confused about which spells he has, and Magnus debuting his superiority dice. There’s also a lot about who’s moving and who isn’t (and therefore sinking into the swamp), at one point Merle going under completely and taking poison damage from inhaling swamp goo. I think Griffin was maybe being unfair by not reminding them they could just move about within the clearing - each round can have action, bonus action, and movement, but they were playing like if they took an action they couldn’t also move. But that could be more Griffin’s inexperience than him being harsh. But they do win the combat.

Afterwards, they finally reach Rockport, at the foot of The Teeth. They really stink, so they try to find somewhere they can shower in the three quarters of an hour before the train leaves. They find a guy in a security stand called Tom Bodet (it’s a reference, but I have no idea who to), who lets them sluice down with his garden hose.

It then turns out that he is also the ticket man for the train. Merle introduces himself as Leman Kessler and collects Kessler’s ticket, but then Taako and Magnus change their story about five times as to what their names are, until Taako just casts Charm Person on Bodet. Bodet accepts them at face value, shows them onto the train, and shows them the cargo carriage, with its crypt safe. The most valuable items - including Kessler’s luggage - are put in the crypt safe, which can only be opened by a Rockport Limited employee maintaining contact with it for an hour. Because of these security measures, they have never lost any cargo to thievery – although given how they go through the mountains, it would be very hard to get aboard anyway. Merle tries to get in to collect the Relic, but Bodet will not - or cannot - let him open it. The train then whistles that it is ready to leave, and Bodet disembarks, leaving our three to take the train to Neverwinter.

While this was overall a very enjoyable instalment, it suffers from the perpetual flaw of the McElroys – a tendency to get too caught up in doing a bit. They spent too long with Bodet before getting clean, they spent too long giving fake names, it’s just…maybe it’s because I have listened to a lot of TAZ by now and I’ve heard this kind of stuff before, but I get a little impatient. And part of the reason it vexes is me is because without it, or without so much of it, this would be a darn-near perfect show. The combat is peppy – I’m not a fan of combat, but they don’t dwell on it too much – the stories are good, the characters are interesting, at this point the gameplay’s a little rough (see earlier comments about movement in combat), but it’s decent enough. I really, really like it – which is why I keep listening despite the overdone bits.

What is curious, is what kind of trouble these three can get in on a train that’s near-impregnable…

[katgametable]

OX Guild Season 2: Mind Your Manors

Written 04 Apr 2025, shortly after relistening, having watched and listened multiple times previously.

This was a live show at EGX October 2019.

The Joyful Damnation has arrived at Necropolis-on-Sea and disgorged its cargo of cultists. The town is entirely cluttered with graves, and there’s a large manor on the cliffside. Dob has a look at the graves, and finds some are older and some are very new. They see an old woman moving between the graves and go talk to her. Her name is Bismuth and she tends the graves. She asks them if they’re going to attempt the challenge – the challenge being, stay the night in the incredibly haunted and incredibly dangerous manor, and if they survive, they get to keep the manor. Many have tried, all have perished.

They decide they want to attempt the challenge, not least Egbert, as he does not believe in ghosts – sky cows and cursed skeletons, but not ghosts. Prudence uses Eldritch Sight on the manor and sees so many ghosts it’s just static. They also kinda half-accidentally bring Bismuth. They get to the manor, and there’s a sort of cat flap if a multi-legged creature was going to enter sideways, which Corazon contorts himself through. Inside, Corazon gets confronted by a rather withered-looking man called Henry Charles Fauntleroy Stripworth Colcahoon the Third At-Your-Service, who I will be referring to hereafter as Henry, even though Johnny is very careful to correct anyone who tries shortening it – I am absolutely certain this is revenge for Christopher Englebert the Seventeenth. Henry asks if Corazon is here for the challenge, and opens the door for the others. He offers to show them to their rooms. Corazon asks for a grog first. While Henry is gone, Dob finds a secret passage and he and Prudence sneak off. They find a couple of old lady ghosts having tea together, and realise they’ve found a network of passages around the whole manor.

Meanwhile, Egbert and Bismuth have gone to the kitchen for some food, while Henry shows Merilwen and Corazon to their rooms. Merilwen’s room looks like a pleasant forest glade with a hammock strung between two trees, and Corazon’s is plush and fancy, with satin sheets and walnut and silver inlays.

Meanwhile, Dob and Prudence have watched this, and then decide to find the library. Dob thinks they could find something about the history of the house, while Prudence just wants more eldritch tomes. When they get there, Dob starts looking for maybe some portrait books, while Prudence looks around and finds two snarling books with ears and tails, bookmarks lolling out like tongues, bound in possibly-human skin, and they go straight to her licking her face like little puppies. Prudence immediately adopts them. Dob has found a series of woodcuts of people standing in front of the manor, but the faces of all the people appear to have been scorched. They then find Henry and are shown to their own rooms; a lovely parlour and music studio for Dob, and a sizzling firepit with ensuite red room of blood for Prudence. Down in the kitchen, Egbert is making sandwiches with Bismuth, who tells him the house challenge came about because the last owner’s family abandoned the family business and the manor, and that there are rumours of some unfinished business that must be completed to break the curse – but no-one has survived long enough to investigate that.

Dob finishes writing some music and goes to see Merilwen. Merilwen, it turns out, is swinging in a hammock made of ribs in a room carpeted in guts. Dob is horrified, and tells Merilwen. She feels the hammock, and realises the truth. Dob retrieves her and casts Prestidigitation to clean up all the gore. Meanwhile, Prudence decided to check on Corazon, and finds him in a room of rot and decay, swigging from a bottle of black slime. She’s impressed, but swiftly finds Corazon cannot see it. Corazon does not pass the wisdom check. They meet up with Dob and Merilwen, while Corazon takes out a cigar that’s absolutely not a desiccated finger. They go down to the kitchen to find Egbert, and Corazon calls for a platter of smoked salmon that is actually thinly sliced human tongues. Egbert has made a giant open sandwich of really poor quality meat and rotten avocado that he is just hoovering up. He can’t see anything wrong with anything. The others (except Corazon) are rather unnerved, and decide to hunker down in the library while Prudence checks her new books.

In the library, Corazon puts on a robe (made of human faces) and slippers (dead cats), and finally realises what’s going on. He is absolutely horrified and kicks off the cats, upsetting Merilwen who boxes up the cats for burial. Then he agrees to participate in a séance, and they also cajole Egbert into joining in. They summon the chilliest (most laidback) ghost, who turns out to be something of dudebro, but a chill one. He tells them that he died in the basement, being burned to death, but doesn’t know anything about the house. His only advice is to not go into the basement. Egbert completely missed the ghost, as he was preoccupied finishing his sandwich. He finally sees through the illusions as he finishes it off, and offends Corazon by telling him he’s covered in slime and it doesn’t suit him. He also decides that going to the basement would be a good idea, as they argue whether they should just check it out, or try to play it safe. He mentions what Bismuth said about unfinished business, and he and Dob reckon that might be referring to the poor quality of the grout in the walls, so they find some grout (congealed blood) to neaten it up. The others consider another séance. They hear the ghostly sound of a sea shanty on an accordion, which Corazon recognises as one that his father used to hum under his breath when he was in a bad mood. He gets Dob over, and with Bismuth they have five people to do another séance and summon the accordion player. And Egbert decides to check out the basement.

The ghost appears, and he is a pirate, a pirate named Captain Milktoast! He and Corazon figure out they’re quite likely related, though Captain Milktoast dies two hundred years before, because the Captain’s son rejected the family legacy of piracy to become a merchant. Corazon just has to survive the night and he’ll break the curse, and the others with him, so as long as they avoid the basement they should be fine. In the basement, Egbert finds a big, evil-looking boiler, that opens up and spews three Flame Skulls. They try to engulf Egbert in flames, but it does no damage as he is resistant to fire. (Note, I’m pretty sure “resistant” should mean half-damage, but they’re doing no damage.) Upstairs, the Captain senses the scuffle below and tries to hint they should go down to help. Corazon instead asks about the origin of the Milktoast name. The Captain says it was from his great-grandfather, who was fond of nicknames, killing people, and drink. His request to be called “Killed-most” got somewhat slurred. Then they agree to go check on Egbert. Dob smashes into the secret passages and dives down, carrying cat-Merilwen, who then turns back to an Elf and Creates Water, but not enough to do much. Egbert has been smashing the skulls into each other, so when Prudence casts Hunger of Hadar, he also gets sucked into the dark between stars. He, and all three Flame Skulls, start taking a lot of damage. Corazon uses Mage Hand to fling his waterskin full of rum at the Skulls, and it poofs in damaging flames. Then Merilwen fires an arrow with a rope to Egbert, and he hauls himself out of the Hunger, with two bundled-up Skulls under his arm, which he then smashes with his mace. The third Skull surrenders, so Prudence cancels the Hunger. The Skull says that it was imprisoned to power the boiler, and doesn’t want to be destroyed. It’s suggested they could release it from it’s imprisonment, but instead, Dob recruits it; he pulls out Ethelfrith’s hammer, and introduces the cursed skeletons to the Skull, and they happily recruit it as their foreman, before going back into the hammer. Captain Milktoast congratulates them and vanishes; Egbert was too preoccupied with untying his rope tether to spot him.

Dawn breaks, and the deed to the house appears in front of them; they have won the challenge.

Notes from the pre-show podcast commentary: Jane and Andy are trying to come up with a tagline for the podcast. Andy comes up with one that would be much better for a true crime podcast (or their Blades in the Dark series, to be honest), so they table it to talk about Mind Your Manors instead. It was in the spooky season, with a haunted house that not everyone perceives the same way – a trope the Andy finds the most terrifying. Jane is startled that they used to play Oxventure so infrequently (the podcast was recorded when they were still recording every other week; ah, good times). Meanwhile Andy has been playing a game called Loco Motive, an old-fashioned point-and-click from Robust Games. Jane has been working up the nerve to return to Cyberpunk to get a better ending, and in the meantime has been playing Hitman and building a Lego botanical set. They’ve also been watching a glass-blowing competition show on Netflix called Blown Away. They’ve also finally figured out they can talk about the actual episode after the episode and thus not have to worry about spoilers.

Notes from the post-show podcast commentary: Andy loved role-playing being oblivious of the horrors around him, and Johnny loved coming up with horrors. Andy hopes they can do a Halloween live show in 2021, and I think they did get to? I think that was Fete Worse Than Death. Corazon’s pirate lineage comes out, making his dad the family disappointment. Andy and Jane both loved Egbert not believing in ghosts, and some people have asked if Mike’s Blades character doesn’t believe in ghosts, but given managing ghosts is a huge part of society, maybe not. And Andy rewards listeners with a little song he wrote called Dungeon Crawl.

This is a great episode. I love the addition to Corazon’s family lore, I love the manor, I love expanding the skeleton army, I love Prudence’s book babies. Some of the descriptions of the horrors were a little much, maybe, but within my tolerance level if not quite my comfort level. Henry was amusing, not least because Johnny kept getting the name wrong. It’s mildly disappointing that we never got to see Egbert’s room, or what Prudence and Dob’s rooms would have looked like when seeing the horrors, but the sandwiches were sufficiently amusing to compensate.

I think what might be quite amusing would be if they did like a prequel series, with Captain Milktoast building the manor and what went in to making it cursed, but that’s rather niche and might not be fun for the players. And bored players make for boring or annoying-to-listen-to games. Ah well.

Still, love this one.