#petunia: No. I. am. normal.

[dark-elf-writes]

I mean, "if the city is in a full riot and all the enemies are dead, I successfully Stealthed" is a viable option. Not a good one, but it gets the job done. You're definitely better at it than I am by the simple metric that you do indeed get through the mandatory stealth segments.

Which is why while I love the AC fics, I have zero idea that's going on beyond osmosis and just riding the weirdness. Desmond dies/not-dies and is mistaken for an angel in Ezio's Italy? Desmond is yoten into the super old past and Eagle Man thinks he's a doctor because the guy knows basic germ theory? Desmond can 100% write in Eagle Man's handwriting and spook Ezio-era Templars with Seemingly Immortal Eagleman Cometh ominous letters?

So like Desmond surviving and picking up pre-Hogwarts Harry? Yes. Delicious. Although funny thought: Petunia has traces of Isu DNA in her if she's related to Desmond. So much for being "perfectly normal".

Fair enough. I mean if you’re interested in the actual canon story there are always the cutscene movies on youtube. Which tbh is how I refreshed myself on ac1 since it’s not on PlayStation and I’m not paying like $30 for it on Xbox when it’s like fifteen years old.

Wait is the Des harasses people with Altairs handwriting an actual fic because like imma need a link for that one it sounds hilarious.

I was thinking more “Lily was adopted” but god imagine if Petunia also had Isu DNA and Desmond’s frustration while trying to convince her she and Dudley are in danger with them just not listening to him and making him just take Harry (who might have it from both sides?). It would definitely open up the door for the possibility of angst later as well.

[monstersflashlight]

As per @myrunawaysweets request and my own indulgence, here it is part 2 of Misunderstanding your werewolf boyfriend (can be found here). Enjoy!

“Why are you peeing on my petunias?”

Werewolf x gn!reader || sfw || tw: pee

“Doesn’t it smell like piss around the garden?” He looks at you with big eyes, surprised by your question. “I think we might have some wild cats living outside or something,” you tell him, munching on your snacks.

“Su- sure. That must be it,” he stutters out a response, but you don’t pay much attention, already forming a plan to look for the cats so you can at least bring them to the shelter.

That conversation registers in your brain lightly, not giving it much thought after that. You believe it’s the cats, but when you let some food outside and it’s left untouched overnight, you start suspecting it might be another kind of problem, maybe parasites. Maybe some kind of fungus is eating your plants… You don’t know what, but you start researching, and bring it up to your werewolf boyfriend a couple times. He acts nonchalantly every time, and you believe he doesn’t know anything about it, how could he?

But you are wrong. So, so wrong.

You come home early one day, your hands full of snacks and groceries, and you step onto the back porch to say hi to him. Your groceries hit the floor when you catch him peeing on your flowers at the edge of your garden.

“Dude! What the fuck?” You scream, mad as hell at him and at the fact that you just dropped your bags and your eggs probably broke. Fucking hell.

“I- I’m sorry,” he says, but continues peeing. His eyes never leaving you as he does so. You are so mad you can almost feel smoke coming out of your ears.

You look at him, stomping his way and stopping a couple meters away as he tucks himself back in his pants. “Why were you peeing in my petunias?” You ask, trying to sound rational but failing, your tone murderous.

And he makes it worse when he says: “I- I can’t.”

“You can’t what?” You ask, your patience running very low at that point.

“I can’t control it,” he says, looking at the floor and blushing.

You can’t comprehend what he’s saying so you have to ask: “You can’t control your bladder?” That can’t be it though, you know it can, you’ve seen him pee inside more than once. He acts like a normal adult most of the time even if he has some weird quirks you associate with him being a wolf.

He looks at you like you are stupid, and you almost want to kick him for it. He was the one peeing on your flowers, but you are the stupid one? No way. Before you can verbalize that he says: “What? No! I mean yes. I can control my bladder, but…” He stops mid sentence, looking bashfully at you, like it’s self explanatory.

“But what?” You press.

“But I need to mark my territory,” he finally confesses.

You are even more confused than before. “What territory? We have a fucking house, with toilets. Inside toilets,” you are trying to breathe through your teeth to avoid screaming, but it’s been really hard. Who knows what werewolf pee can do to your flowers, you took care of them for so long…

“But… But… But you live here,” he says, like it explains everything.

And then it clicks, and it only makes you madder. “I am your territory?” You ask, incredulous and angry. “It’s the 21st century!”

“I know. I know,” he looks so pathetic that your anger dissipates instantly. You bet that if he was in his werewolf form his ears would be down and his tail would be twitching in embarrassment. “I just… I can’t stop it. I want everyone around to know you aren’t an unclaimed female.” You arch an eyebrow at him, confused and annoyed by his use of words. “Not in a bad way, my wolf just… I need to mark the territory so any other monster knows you are my mate,” he finally confesses in a soft tone. That makes so much sense you want to coo at him.

“And you have to pee my petunias for that? You could have just asked me to marry you,” you deadpan, surprising both of you at your outburst. You cover your mouth with a hand, trying to bring your words back into your mouth, but obviously unable to.

“What?” He looks hopeful, a spark of something deep and bright shining in his eyes.

“Okay…” You take a deep breath, trying to decide how to deal with this. But a part of your brain already decided what you want to do, what you want him to be in your life. “I guess it’s time then… Would you marry me?” You ask, anxious all of sudden. Everything between you two has been like a dream, but right now you aren’t sure of anything.

But he doesn’t let you overthink it. “I- Yes!” He exclaims, his eyes as big as plates as he looks at you, mesmerized, like you just gave him the best gift of his life.

He closes the distance between you two and rests his forehead against yours, his hands framing your face. You try to forget that he was just peeing and he definitely didn’t wash his hands. Disgusting. “Would you stop peeing on my petunias now?” You ask jokingly, tears in your eyes as your brain fully processes what just happened. You asked him to marry you… and he said yes. You are getting married to your werewolf boyfriend. Oh lord.

“I’ll try,” he whispers before closing the distance between you two and kissing you senseless.

[laremsworld]

The young man is visibly nervous as he finally arrives at Privet Drive No. 4. His hands are a little too tight around the small box he is carrying with  himself. It takes him a few minutes, but he finallly manages to ring the door. Petunia Dursley's fake smile  immediately fades, as she sees this man's face. She doesn't recognize him, but she can tell that he's no one she wants to be seen with.

„Hello, Mrs. Dursley. My name is Remus Lupin and I -"

„I don't want to buy anything", Petunia interrupts that guy who is rude enough to call her by her name and proceeds to close the door again, but the man stops her.

„I'm not here to selll anything", he says quickly, „I actually wanted to see Harry."

„Oh", Petunia says and Remus happily nods, not knowing that this is even worse. „You are one of THEM."

„You know, today is Harry's sixth birthday and I have a little present for him"

„The boy is not allowed to use  anything... magical." Petunia says, spitting the last word like it was a curse.

„It's nothing magical. In fact, it's  just a little stuffed animal - a deer, to be precise. I thought Harry would like to see an old friend of his parents'"

„I don't think that he would like that"

The coldness in her tone makes Lupin loose all hope he had. He chooses his next words well: „You know, the last years were quite hard. James and Lily were not just friends, they were family to me. Then Dumbledore didn't allow me to see Harry, which was even worse. I just... not that I am doubting your abilities to raise a child or anything, but... if I could see him once..."

„Harry is not here."

„Oh", Remus' shoulders are sinking, „well... here is his present. And my phone number- My mum was a muggle, I mean she was normal like you. I can use a phone. Tell him, he can call whenever he wants."

Petunia doesn't say anything. She just takes the box and the piece of paper and closes the door.

„Who was that, aunt Petunia?", Harry asks as she enters the kitchen.

„Nobody", Petunia answers as she throws away the box and the phone number.

Harry never finds out that his uncle Moony came to visit him.

[sorendeimos]

✮ Things Severus will never say ✮

↳ a look through his diary

The pain I feel is wholly insignificant in the face of your betrayal. Oh sure, we have fought and hurt before but this time the pain I feel at your hand is so raw, so visceral, that the only way to soothe it is understanding that you are smiling. Your happiness trumps the pain I feel… I just wish you hated him like we used to so that it didn’t hurt so much when that smile was directed at him.

—after the rejected apologies

They scream and yell today. And yesterday. And every day since. Father doesn’t like when I do magic, Mother says it’s normal for My age and to just not show Father what I can do.

—age 8, 7 months after his first accidental magic

I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM

— after his father hit him for the first time, age 8

ILL KILL HIM ILL KILL HIM ILL KILL HIM ILL KILL HIM ILL KILL HIM ILL KILL HIM ILL KILL HIM ILL KILL HIM ILL KILL HIM ILL KILL HIM ILL KILL HIM ILL KILL HIM ILL KILL HIM ILL KILL HIM ILL KILL HIM ILL KILL HIM

—after his father hits his mother the first time, age 8

I met a girl today that’s just like me. She had hair like fire and eyes like spring. I want to be Her friend.

—after meeting Lily, age 9

I told Her she’s like me. She seemed relieved. I hope She isn’t like me entirely.

—after telling Lily she’s a witch, age 9

Lily and I spend almost every day together, but never at my house. She’s too good for that place.

—on spending time with Lily, age 9, almost 10.

Petunia is the worst. I hope She gets a bee caught up that horrid upturned nose of hers.

—on Petunia, age 10

Mother has told me about Hogwarts today. She says I will be sorted Ravenclaw for my mind and thirst for knowledge. I want to be in Slytherin, to follow Her footsteps.

—on going to Hogwarts, age 10

I’m unsure what hurts more. My pride or losing my first friend. The person on whom I could depend. Who I was changing for. Who looked at me and still believed I had some semblance of good inside, even when I’d proven time and again I don’t. And now I don’t have Her so what, pray tell, is the fucking point. I’ll write to Lucius in the morning.

—after the Assault

The Malfoys, while newly-wed, are gracious hosts. I find comfort in Their home unlike anywhere I’ve ever been before. The future seems promising, and Lucius intends to speak with a benefactor on my potions skill. I shall have word back before Easter on career prospects under the sponsorship of this benefactor. If all goes well, my mastery funding will be secured, a job for after lined up, and I will no longer worry about feeding myself in the off season. Things are looking up for once.

—after Christmas, age 16

Joseph Aston - 25–34 Emily Aston - 24 -35 Joseph Aston Jr - 8–36 ••• Marie LeBlanc - 12–57 Damien LeBlanc - 45–56 ••• Charity Burbage - 37–158

I wish that the love he feels for me didn’t exist some days. He smiles at me and it feels like the sun on my skin after months of winter. He touches my hand and my skin feel alight and ablaze. It will hurt when he leaves me.

—Severus on Remus, age 15

The wolf has some fucking nerve attempting to lecture me on how to teach my class. As if he isn’t a beast in a man’s clothing. As if he isn’t a predator waiting to strike me dead.

—Severus on Remus, age 35

Potter and Black hate me, and I don’t know why. They just do… just like Father then. I suppose it's par for the course.

—musing about the marauders, age 11

I miss you. God, how I miss you. It’s been several months and it still hurts so much. So very much. Harry is safe, Dumbledore will not tell me where he is, but he is safe. Cared for. I hope he is loved. I wish I had not chosen this path. The one that took you away. But I am here now and I will work harder now to fix my mistakes. There’s clean-up to be done, people to put away. Wounds to heal, I only hope that if you look down on me, it is not with scorn with which you do it. Albus thinks this war is not over. If it isn’t… I’ll protect him. I’ll protect him with my life, I swear this. I will do for him what I should have from the beginning with you. I will change. I will be better. I will keep him safe.

—6 months after the Potters’ deaths.

He is more like his father than I expected. This will be tying. I will keep my promise but it will… be a trial.

—after Harry comes to Hogwarts

Give me patience, Lily, your son is every bit your husband and I regret to say I rise to his taunts every time. Patience, for strength, will send me to Azkaban and him to an early grave.

—sometime in Harry’s third year

This is my last entry. It has been years since the war began, longer than expected, and I will likely not make it out. I only pray the souls I doomed forgive me, but I don’t blame Them if not.

—the final page, day before the Battle.

[lilithofpenandbook]

I heard someone say that the Malfoys were the best parents, what are your thoughts on this? And could you make a rank from the best parents to the worst?

Hmm, I'd actually say yes. There's a difference between being a good parent and being a good person. Someone could be incredibly accepting of those with impure blood yet be absolutely terrible parents, and vice versa.

When it comes to the Malfoys, yes, Lucius did influence Draco in the wrong way, yes, he did raise Draco to be a Death Eater, and we don't know how Draco would have been treated if he rejected Lucius's ideology. However, there is no indication that Draco was forced into believing what he did. He just was a product of his environment- not forced into believing it but also not wanting to not believe in it. In a way, it was Draco's normal. Additionally, while Draco was forced to be a Death Eater (I believe), it wasn't because he didn't want to be one, it's because Voldemort wanted to use him despite being too young, primarily to punish Lucius (and that to me speaks volumes about Lucius's love for his son- if Voldemort recognised it enough to know it would hurt Lucius then it must have been clear Lucius put Draco before Voldemort deep inside). I also believe Draco, once exposed to the actual reality of his beliefs and what they do to people, regretted believing them and hated it all, and wanted out, and ended up a good person, but that's another topic.

As for the ranking, in no particular order (aside from me remembering them):

The Riddles/ The Gaunts. As parents, I can't talk about Merope or Tom, however as people all I can say is that Tom is a victim of SA by Merope and that action of hers was absolutely horrific. However, I can also empathise with Merope because her father? The worst. Actually, I'm going to put him as the ultimate worst parent, simply because his actions are what led to Merope being so unstable that she seriously thought love potioning a man was a good idea. I am not condoning Merope's actions, however I do understand that she was very unwell and unstable as a result of the abuse she suffered, and if not for that then she probably would not have married Tom 1 and conceived her son under a love potion, which is the canonical reason for Tom being Voldemort, and therefore the reason for almost everything wrong. Almost.

I say almost because regardless of Voldemort, both Tobias Snape and the Black parents would have absolutely sucked and so regardless of Voldemort, both Severus Snape and Sirius Black would have experienced trauma (although not as horrifically as it was due to the war).

Tobias is worse than Walburga and Orion Black in my opinion, as it's heavily implied at least that he physically beat Snape and definitely beat Eileen. He's only above Merope's dad because I do think he wasn't as bad as him, and because part of Snape's childhood struggles is due to poverty. Him wearing ill-fitting old clothes and being bullied and ostracized has less to do with Tobias's treatment and more to the inherit poverty, however Tobias did nothing to help Snape, and was definitely an abusive husband. As a parent, he was neglectful and abrasive at best.

The Black parents are better than him, as parents. Yes, this is separate to their morals- I am judging them based on their treatment of their children. And when it comes to them, firstly there was Regulus, who was favoured and loved by them, even if they didn't raise him correctly. Then there's Sirius. And here's the thing, while I don't deny Walburga at least was abusive, the abusive itself was only confirmed to be abusive, which is horrible, yes, but not as horrible as the previously mentioned parents (wow, the bar is low). And another key element is the fact that Sirius was the one who left, rather than he being kicked out too. So while verbally abusive, I don't believe Walburga and Orion completely neglected Sirius.

However, a very similar set of parents yet miles worse are Petunia and Vernon. One of their kids was incredibly spoilt to the point of being incredibly stupid, the other was completely and fully abused. They beat the Blacks but are still only a little better than Tobias and the Gaunts.

As for Harry's actual parents, James and Lily Potter, they both loved Harry, but they didn't live long enough to decide whether they would be good at actual parenting or if they'd spoil Harry.

And I'm gonna mention the Evans parents too. I don't think they were good parents. Not as bad as a lot of these people, but not good. How else do you raise someone like Petunia, so jealous of her sister she abused a little boy? Yeah, no.

Now, Molly and Arthur Weasley are rather polarising. Some say they're good, some say they were bad. I'm going to say that they weren't perfect, but not bad at all. Yes, Ron wasn't always given the best treatment, yes, Molly favoured certain children, but at the same time she was the mother to seven very strong minded individuals, and still took care of Harry despite their poverty. And I do count them as "poor". Although they aren't as poor as some of the others, they're still not rich at all. The reason they don't struggle is because they save money with the hand me downs and everything. So I'd say that actually, they weren't bad at all. I personally don't like how much Molly yells, however that's probably because of my own issues, not because she's actually being harsh. Her family is loud. She had to be louder.

I'm also gonna mention the Dumbledore parents. The father definitely made a bad decision, however it was to protect his daughter. That doesn't however change how bad that idea was. As for the mother, again, maybe not the best decision at the time to isolate Ariana, especially because it resulted in her boys suffering. However I will cut them some slack because they weren't in any normal situation and that would affect their judgement. So not abusive by any means, but not the best parents either.

Hermione's parents. Where were they and why didn't they seem concerned over their only child? That's all I can say (perhaps they figured her being magical made her invulnerable?)

The last parents I can think of are Andromeda and Ted Tonks. And actually they're probably the best parents in the series. Nymphadora grows up to be a good, happy young woman, and they clearly love her even if they don't agree with her choices. I honestly can't remember anything wrong with them.

That's my "ranking" of the worst to best parents, out of all the people I can remember. Honestly, there's a very high number of bad parents here (the bar is so low that Not Smacking Your Child is enough to give Walburga a higher ranking, dear god).

Oh, actually I forgot!

James Potter's parents. Maybe one of the WORST up there with the Gaunts because how do you raise such a little psychopath? I can see where Sirius gets it but his family is known to be bad, so what was with the Potters? James was well cared for and adored (the words used in the book!) yet he spent 7 years bullying Snape. Just how? What kind of parents were his?

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this! Thanks for the ask!

[moutainrusing]

dance

816 words, @regulily-microfic

At first, Lily had been excited for Slughorn’s Christmas party. She’d written to her parents to share her visceral joy somewhere, because there had been so much bubbling inside of her.

Her parents had been elated by almost double the amount, oblivious about the wizarding world so all the more enraptured by it. They’d been proud of her for being a miracle-worker at making potions for horny slugs, a rather interesting career choice in their opinion, but very much supported (Lily had snorted, debated whether she should correct them, then left it).

They’d said that because they couldn’t keep in the overwhelming love for their talented daughter, they would tell all the neighbours she was an expert in chemistry, perhaps. They loved talking about Lily; her mum wrote that her father always got this soft smile on his face thinking about her, her dad wrote that her mother always got this light in her eyes sharing memories of their little girl.

Lily felt her eyes water sentimentally, wanting to hug both of them for how amazing they were.

Their reaction when she told them she was going with her crush, Regulus, that she was nervous yet thrilled for the chance to dance with him, was as approving and protective as she’d hoped it would be.

Then came the letter from Petunia.

Her sister wasn’t happy. According to her, Lily was wasting her life away being useless and unproductive. A wizarding career wouldn’t benefit society at all. A club for freaks? Was Lily bonding with people over how they were problematic urchins with no meaning in their lives? And Regulus? What sort of freak name was that? Of course Lily would fancy a weirdo. How else would they get along?

Petunia was normal. Her boyfriend was Vernon, a much more acceptable, normal boy. Not a freak with strange, unnecessary eccentricities.

Lily felt her eyes well up and spill, saltwater dribbling along the downturned corners of her mouth.

She couldn’t please everyone. She’d always sought her parents’ approval and her older sister’s. She was younger, after all. Eager to learn from the more grown-up figures in her life. But Petunia rejected her. Tossed her away like nothing, even when Lily desperately clung to her.

Lily was sorry. She didn’t mean to be a thief of their parents’ love. But Petunia did get their affection all the time Lily was at boarding school. Their parents did love both daughters equally. Petunia didn’t see it, and that made Lily sob even harder.

“Lily?” Regulus asked quietly, carefully walking up to her as she broke down in the owlery.

She quickly wiped her eyes, using Petunia’s letter because she hated her, but she didn’t, now she was crying again—

“Hey,” Regulus murmured gently, taking out a handkerchief from his dress robes. Shit. Lily was missing the party, so caught up in the letter that she didn’t even remember what had started this.

“Sorry,” she stuttered between shaky breaths, but Regulus shook his head, merely dabbing her face with his handkerchief, R.A.B. embroidered on the corner.

“I’m glad I found you,” was his only response. Lily threw herself into his arms.

Initially, he startled back in shock, before tentatively wrapping his own arms around her.

“I’m sorry,” Lily whispered again. “I should’ve been at the party with you, but Tuney— Petunia. She— She sent me a letter, and— You’re not a freak, Reg.”

Regulus pulled back to look her in the eye. “Oh, I think I am a freak. Everyone’s a freak. We’re all different from each other, after all.”

“I wish I could tell Petunia that,” Lily muttered, gaze drifting to the side.

“I wish I could tell Sirius that,” Regulus agreed, gaze fixed on her face.

“We have a lot of wishes,” Lily noted sadly.

“We’re allowed to make wishes about our family. They’re still a part of us; good, bad, whatever. We can break them off, they can cut us off, but we’ll always wish something about each other. Make all the wishes you want, Lily.”

“They won’t come true,” she sighed.

“Doesn’t mean you can’t make them,” Regulus shrugged. “Hope is something which connects all of us. We’re all freaks wishing for things other people think are stupid, yet those people wish for things we think are stupid. In the end, it’s all down to opinion. And in my opinion, you’re an amazing witch.” He said it so matter-of-factly, indifferently, yet Lily could see that deep down, he cared.

She cleared her throat, and grandly announced, “In my opinion, Regulus Black is the wisest, kindest person in the world. And it’s my wish to dance with him, even if it’s not at the party. Just… anywhere.”

Surprisingly, this wish came true. They danced in the owlery, Regulus in his elegant dress robes, Lily with her face a mess. Regulus smiled at her like she was beautiful.

[momo-t-daye]

“Uh, Professor, er, sir,” Harry stumbled over the seldom-used honorifics in his bafflement. “Uh, on your mouth…?”

“Lipstick, Potter,” Snape sneered, the expression all the more pronounced with the cosmetic assistance.

“Oh, uh, it’s, um, it’s black?” Harry hadn’t known lipstick came in anything other than his aunt’s subdued pinks or the vivid shades of red that Petunia considered sinful and salacious (and intolerably reminiscent of Lily to ever be permitted back into the precariously normal life of Number Four, Privet Drive).

“Very good, Potter,” Snape said sarcastically. “Twelve years old and you’ve learned your colors.”

That was pure nastiness and entirely unfair.

“I’m fifteen!”  Harry protested, which earned him a merely sardonic eyebrow. “Almost fifteen,” he amended.  “I’ll be fifteen on Monday.”

Harry longed to surpass Snape in sheer churlishness and considered pointing out that muggle men generally didn’t wear skirts.  Certainly not in Little Whinging.  Definitely not when Dudley and his gang were roaming the streets.

He’d seen plenty of oblivious wizards sporting spiffy new dresses as their muggle disguises at the Quidditch World Cup the previous summer (a lifetime ago, before Cedric was murdered and he hadn’t been able to stop it from happening).  But there was something peculiarly well-tailored and suspiciously well-worn about the Potions Master’s garb that suggested less “disguise” and more “daily wear”. He found that his brain was oddly unwilling to acknowledge the existence of Snape’s psychedelic cardigan. His mind kept trying desperately to wallpaper something sensible over the bizarre image his eyes insisted on perceiving.

“…nice skirt,” he mumbled.

“Thanks,” Snape drawled the false gratitude out with a smirk. “It has pockets.  Dipshit and Dumbass there were too excited to get on the road this morning and didn’t give me any time to do laundry.”

“Am I ‘Dipshit’ or am I ‘Dumbass’?” Sirius whispered loudly, grin gone well past manic.

“I believe Severus called me a ‘dipshit’ among other things for forgetting to take my Wolfsbane last year,” Remus replied thoughtfully, “So, Sirius, that probably makes you the dumbass.”

“I’m more of a hot piece of ass, but okay,” Sirius said with a wink. “Hi, Harry!”

“Hi, Sirius,” Harry said weakly, glad for the excuse to sidle past Snape.  “Uh, what are you doing here?” The Daily Prophet hadn’t said anything about Sirius being pardoned and news like that, while less of an urgent headline than Voldemort’s return, wouldn’t lurk about in the society pages or behind an advice column.

“Dumbledore told me to lie low at Lupin’s place,” Sirius beamed with an innocence so intense it could only be artificial.

“And, er, well, what with one thing and another, it really hadn’t seemed like a good time really to mention that I’d been, ah, evicted,” Lupin added, “…again.”

“Renting really seems like such a bother,” Sirius opined. “So I bought a house for Remus here.”

“Oh,” said Harry, who had witnessed Aunt Petunia compulsively twitching the curtains as she tried to discover how Mrs. Number Seven had eluded neighborly surveillance and, somehow, managed to sell her house to a person or persons unknown to the remaining residents of Privet Drive. “Isn’t that supposed to take a long time?”

“Building a home takes a lifetime,” Sirius said sagely. “Buying a house just takes money.”

Snape’s scornful snort brought Harry’s attention back to the least welcome visitor to Little Whinging.

“So, uh, why did you bring,” Harry gestured vaguely, unsure if the word ‘him’ could accurately encompass the snidest professor present, “Snape?” He’d rather noticed that Snape hadn’t lifted a finger to help Sirius and Lupin move any of the large boxes from the lorry into Number Seven.

“Severus knows how to drive,” Lupin explained gently. Sirius’ mouth opened, prepared to protest.

“Severus,” Lupin repeated, louder this time, “Has a valid muggle license to drive.” Sirius’ subsided.

“And I know how to hot-wire cars and lorries,” Severus added smoothly. “And,” Lupin echoed wearily, “ Severus knows how to ‘hot-wire’ muggle vehicles.”

“I’m learning to do that,” Sirius said helpfully, “I’m going to figure it out too.  I’ve nearly got it.”

“Talk is cheap, Black,” Snape scoffed starting to stroll in the last direction Harry wanted him to go, “I’ll believe you when I see some tangible results.”

“Wait!  Stop!” Harry wondered if he’d get in trouble for tackling a professor outside of Hogwarts.  It would be worth it, to try to alter Snape’s trajectory towards the front door of Number Four.  “Stop, stop, stop!”

For all Harry’s desperate scrambling, Snape maintained his lead.

“Please stop!” Harry begged as the professor hitched up his skirt slightly, “Use the bell!  You don’t have to kick the door in!” Aunt Petunia was probably at the door, surely she’d spied them across the street at Number Seven.

Snape kicked the door, already unlatched in Petunia’s nosy anticipation, open.

Aunt Petunia let out a shrill little scream.

“Hello, Piss-Tuna,” said Severus Snape, far more gleeful than he’d been even when Harry and Ron were facing the threat of expulsion after flying a car into the Whomping Willow. “You look as awful as ever.”

Piss-Tuna, Harry thought as his world tilted on its axis, Snape, Professor Snape, just called my aunt Piss-Tuna.  This can’t be happening.

“You—!” Her face was white, her eyes were wide, and Petunia Dursley, née Evans, practically growled in her outrage.

Harry found himself thinking that Brazil might be a very nice place to live. It was far away from Privet Drive, for a start.  He wondered what it would take to get there.

“Aren’t you going to invite me in, Tuney?” Snape’s foot had blocked the door from closing.  “I’m more than happy to have this confrontation on your front step if you’d prefer.”

“We, ah, brought some biscuits,” Lupin added. “Store bought. Assorted.  With chocolate.  Er, I’m, ah, we’re the new neighbors. So nice to meet you again.”

Petunia goggled at the lot of them.

She also stumbled back, which Snape seemed to take as an unspoken invitation.  Harry found himself dragged along in the professor’s wake, with only Sirius’ hand on his shoulder to steady him in the swift tide of strangeness.

“I can’t believe your taste in interior decoration deteriorated into this level of disgusting kitsch and doilies, Tuna,” said the man who decorated with floating dead things in jars. Severus surveyed the photos on the wall, on the mantle, on the little side table.  So many perfectly posed pictures of a happy family of three- mother, father, son- and a lock on the cupboard under the stairs. Narcissa had been absolutely right.

“Is that my jumper?” Harry jumped.  Petunia’s voice was high and thin and quite peculiar.

“You’ve really done a terrible job of raising Potter,” said Snape, and Harry bristled. Of course Snape wanted to criticize him, Harry had been expecting the criticism, but he loathed the thought of his two biggest critics were now sharing notes and combining forces.

“Not only is he, like the majority of students, a careless menace in the laboratory, but I have also wasted entirely too much of my already limited time deciphering his atrocious penmanship to correct insipid essay after insipid essay only to see the same flawed reasonings repeated week after week.” It was news to Harry that he was supposed to read the sea of spidery red notes Snape deposited on every essay.  It seemed rather unfair, given that Snape could fit five lines of text for every one line Harry wrote. The single “P”, or the occasional and welcome “A”, was more than sufficient in Harry’s view.

“That’s my jumper.” There was a touch of hysteria in Petunia’s tone now.

“He will be taking his O.W.L.s this year, his O-levels if you prefer,” Snape continued, demonstrating more confidence in Harry’s continued survival than Harry typically expected to hear from the Potions Master. “Unfortunately, his current record of scholastic mediocrity, his stubborn refusal to revise, and a peculiar incuriosity about magical theory does not bode well for his continued academic career.”

“You little bastard! That’s my goddamn jumper!” Petunia’s shriek derailed Snape’s momentum.  The unexpected profanity from his aunt made Harry’s brain stutter to a halt.

“Tuna,” Snape frowned, “We’re not here to discuss my sartorial decisions and I will never take wardrobe critique from you.  I only deigned to enter this suburban hellscape to discuss your horrendous failure to raise and parent Mr. Potter.”

“Biscuit, Harry?” Sirius offered, retrieving the tin from Remus.

“You stole my jumper!” Shockingly, Petunia’s epiphany failed to shatter glass.  Yet.

“Didn’t,” sniffed Snape.

“I thought it was Lily who stole my jumper!”

“She did. I just hid it for her.” 

“I bought that jumper myself!  I’d saved up!”

“Yes, I know.”

“It was for an interview!”

“We wanted to spare you the humiliation of being seen in public wearing such a hideous thing.  You even got that position, even if you didn’t keep it for very long.”

The biscuit was rather good, even without tea, and it was beginning to dawn on Harry that Snape and Aunt Petunia were more inclined to tear into one another than join forces against him. He felt oddly inclined to cheer for Professor Snape, despite the ranting about Harry’s scholastic shortcomings. Perhaps it was because Harry knew so little about his mother that every glimpse was a pearl he treasured.

“I want my jumper!” Did she learn that tone from her little Diddykins or had Dudley inherited that petulant demanding pitch from Petunia?

“And I want you to understand how your failure to nourish any academic inclinations Mr. Potter may have shown before the age of eleven may have rather dire consequences for futures beyond his own, but I fear we can’t all get what we want.” Remus handed Harry another biscuit before he could think to protest.

“Give me back my jumper!”

“Fine!” Snape finally snapped, fingers tearing at the buttons in wrathful haste.  “Fine, here!”

Petunia caught the cardigan with her face and a squeak.

Severus Snape looked like a stranger again, in the ratty, oversized band shirt, hair disheveled from the jumper’s passage.  Harry hadn’t seen the Dark Mark his professor had shoved under Minister Fudge’s nose in the Hospital Wing those few weeks ago, and he found himself oddly glad that the mark was concealed under a peculiar leather bracelet with metal studding.  A wand holster, perhaps.

“Are you prepared to face your shortcomings now, Tuney?” That dangerously silky tone was entirely familiar, and Harry took another biscuit before he was told to go serve detention during summer vacation.

“It smells like Cokeworth,” Petunia’s complaint was bitter, for she dreaded the day her neighbors discovered the lingering taint of the Cokeworth streets sullying their Surrey security.

“Hey,” said Sirius, who had gone oddly still.

“I wasn’t going to take it to Hogwarts, was I?” Snape said.  “It’s acrylic, you know that sort of stuff doesn’t hold up around magic.”

“Hey,” said Sirius.  “Hey.” His face was a rictus of delight, as pleased as Petunia had been put out. “Snape. Isn’t that, isn’t that my shirt you’ve got on?”

“Oh, oh,” snarled Severus.  “Not you too!”

[lemongrass77777-moved]

having Narcissa/Petunia thoughts today. Imagine if for whatever reason Vernon couldn’t come to pick Harry up from train station after his first year and they met? Two woman who spent their formative years forgotten?(Petunia by parents who favored their witch daughter, Narcissa by parents who yearned for a son) neither know that the graceful woman they met at the platform is someone they should under normal circumstances hate. They met again next September on the platform, and agree to correspond. They talk through letters for months, Petunia just thinks that Narcissa doesn’t like talking on the phone. They start to relate to each other, to fall into love. Their ship name is Bitterdaffodil(Narcissus is the latin name for the daffodil flower. Petunia’s symbolize bitterness). And imagine the how they’d both react when they find out what the other is.

Am I the only one interested?

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

Once, Lily Evans had loved Severus Snape. It hadn't been in a romantic way. She didn't want to date him or be his girlfriend. But she truly loved him as a friend.

Back in the day, Lily thought no one could get her like Severus did. They were close. They got along well. They were interested in the same things. He made her laugh when she was her saddest. She was the only one who could make him snap out of his self pity. They were more than friends. Best friends.

And Lily didn't understand why others didn't like Severus. She didn't understand why others hated him or had something bad to say about him. From her mother who stared at him with reject, to Petunia who couldn't stand him and was always calling him nasty, to her father who didn't like him when he liked everyone "Just think my sweet Lily deserves better friends" he used to say.

Mary and Marlene couldn't stand Severus as well. They said he was weird and rude, that he'd never opened himself to them even if they tried to be friendly.

Then there were The Marauders who were bloody awful with Sev just because he was different (according to Lily). Sev was the victim of James's stupid mean jokes and Sirius’s humiliating pranks. Peter just followed them. They were constantly on him. Making fun of their nose and his hair.

Lily knew Severus was shy. He might have been tackless, serious and might not understand other people's sense of humor. But she knew other version of him. And he was actually funny, he was actually nice. He'd just suffered a lot.

But then Remus came along and he hadn't also liked Severus. He also didn't understand why Lily was friends with him.

That left Lily to be the only one to understand Severus. The only one to like him. And for Lily the rest of the world was crazy. She was against everyone else when it came to Severus.

Not for a second she thought it was Severus's fault. He suffered abuse at home. He suffered bullying and incomprehension from other kids at school. He had no friends for being the teacher's pet, weird, awkward and lonely. Severus was just a poor victim.

"I get that nobody likes me, Lily. I am useless. If my own bloody father doesn't like me, who would? Sometimes I think you're the only person who will love me"

Poor Severus, Lily constantly thought. Why doesn't people try to get to know him and actually like him?

Turned out Lily had been absolutely blind. After she heard Severus telling some Slytherin boys how she was easy and he could and had done what he wanted with her, things started changing between them.

Lily had been doing nothing but forgive him. He messed up, he justified it with the misery he was going through, Lily felt sorry for him, she forgave him. And the cycle started again.

For Lily it was normal and natural. She had seen friends fighting and making up instantly. Why wouldn't Lily give hers another chance? For old times sake.

People did the impossible for the people they loved, right? For their best friends, right? Then why did everything felt so wrong?

Lily had fucked up all the progress she had with James Potter.

"It's so rude not to say hello to someone, Potter!!" Lily sounded like an insane person yelling that after James and the boys had said hello to Mary and Marlene but completely ignored her. To be fair she was sad all the time. She felt guilty all the time. She didn't sleep well, she had lost her appetite and she was losing her concentration in classes.

James Potter gave her a hateful glance and turned without a word left to say. And it hurt. In the past, Lily had begged for Potter to ignore her ass for one second. But that was before getting to know him. That was before the friendship. That was before Petunia's wedding and the kiss they shared.

"What happened between you and Potter, Lily?" Mary asked as The Marauders walked away. James, Sirius and Peter angry and Remus pitiful but loyal to James.

"That man worshipped the floor you walked in" Marlene added with concern.

"You even said that you might fancy him... After your sister's wedding...That you felt like a princess next to him"

Lily had enjoyed every second of it. How she danced with James. How she chatted and laughed with James. Their kiss when Lily was slightly drunk. The way he had been a gentleman with her family. How well he fitted in on the contrary of Sev.

Lily thought she could actually feel things for James. That he could turn into her prince charming. But that was before knowing that he was doing all of it for a game.

"He changed the game, Lily!" Severus had said "How can you be so stupid?! He acted like your friend so that you could fall into his game. Now he has probably bragged to his bloody servants about how he finally got you to kiss him! And you are a fool to believe he is not going to get over you now that you've given in!"

Of course Lily felt guilty for being an idiot. She thought James had changed for real. But Severus reminded her of who she was dealing with. James Potter and his friends had been tormentors of Sev for years. How could Lily betray her best friend like that?

"Don't worry" Severus added as Lily started crying "I have a plan to get back at him"

Not Mary or Marlene knew about how Lily had turned all on her. Telling Potter that the only reason she'd kissed him was to win a bet she'd done with Severus. Although it was false, Lily wouldn't give Potter the satisfaction of having played with her.

"Lily, If what James told me is true, then you were awful with him" Marlene said carefully.

"Now I am the awful one? How about everything he did!" Lily did yell a bit.

"You aren't a spiteful person, babe" Mary prompted "You aren't like this. You wouldn't hurt someone to win a bet"

"You're right!! I'm not a fool anymore! I'm sick and tired of people stepping over me!!"

Now if Lily had told herself she had done the right thing, that Severus was her best friend first and above everyone, then why did she feel so dreadful?

"Come on, Lily" Severus appeared now before Lily could explain anything to her friends "Thought we were having dinner outside"

Marlene immediately rolled her eyes with his presence. Mary tutted with disdain. If Potter was the bad guy, why did the girls like him so much? Why were they rooting for Lily to be with him and not Severus?

"Don't you see she is busy?" Marlene spat.

"We were talking to her, Snape" Mary added.

Why couldn't them get along with Snape if he was as good as Lily thought?

"She agreed to eat with me, didn't you Lily?"

Why did Lily feel so guilty? For her Severus had done the impossible to make her forgive his mistakes. Now Lily was making up for falling into Potter's trap and hurting Severus by kissing him. She was just fighting for her friendship. And his conditions were not getting along with The Marauders. Any of them. It was a sacrifice to make Severus happy. It wasn't even a sacrifice, she didn't like the bullies of those wankers, did she?

"I am sorry, girls" Lily said, swallowing the knot on her throat "I did promise... Sorry"

Lily followed Severus even though she didn't want to. Even though her friends looked worried and irritated. Even though it felt wrong. Why did she feel this way?

She was quiet as they ate. For the first time in the history of their relationship, Severus was the happy one, the chatty one. Lily didn't know how to act anymore. She stared at Severus and wondered who was he? Was she right to trust him?

Through Lily's distraction, she dropped her glass of juice all over the table. She cried in apology as if spilling her juice had been the worst mistake in her life. Then she felt even more awful.

Severus just smiled finding Lily's silliness adorable and amusing.

"Don't worry about it, Lily" he said as he helped her clean.

"I'm so silly" Lily sighed "I ruined our dinner"

Severus chuckled "You didn't"

"I can't get you another plate" Lily said, mostly to get out of there and take a break from him. Why did she want to run away? Severus was staring at her without discretion "I know how much you like meat pie... You were enjoying it..."

"I love you, Lily" Severus responded with a snort.

How much Lily had dreamed for a boy to fall in love with her, like in the novels. She fantasized about romance. And she thought no one would glance at her that way.

When Severus almost kissed her on New Year's, she even considered giving him a chance. Didn't she read about the girl who realized at the end of the movie that she had been in love with her best friend all along?

But then Severus had fucked it up miserably. Now he hadn't stopped saying it since they fixed things. He had confessed his feelings claiming what he felt for Lily was real, on contrast of what Potter felt. But everytime Severus said it, Lily felt more and more uncomfortable.

For some reason it didn't sound genuine. It sounded awful. It sounded as if she was his most precious possession. As if he owned her or something.

"I'm sorry" Severus snorted and rubbed his neck as he saw how Lily stiffened. "I just can't stop saying it now... I just love you"

When he scooped closer, Lily flinched and froze.

"I know you don't feel the same, Lily" Severus sighed "But I promise I am going to make you love me... We're going to be so happy that you won't even remember everything that wanker did to you"

Lily was too frozen and uncomfortable to respond. She was actually glad her food was covered in juice because she wasn't hungry anymore.

Then Severus pulled her in for a hug and Lily's eyes filled with tears. It wasn't comfortable hugging him. She didn't feel butterflies. She didn't even feel the tender she used to feel for him. She felt disgust. She didn't know if it was of him or herself.

Lily was starting to believe that Severus Snape wasn't the man she thought he was. Maybe the world wasn't wrong. Maybe they were all right and she was the one to be mistaken. There was a reason why everyone hated Snape. Perhaps they all saw what she failed to see.

If Lily had to stop being friends with who she wanted because of Severus, if she had to stop doing what she pleased, change and live for him, then maybe this was a toxic relationship.

Maybe Severus didn't love her at all. He was just obsessed with her. So Lily considered for a second about leaving him. But she was scared of hurting him. She was scared of breaking his heart. She still had little care for him. Would she be able to cut him off?

"Sometimes, you just have to choose yourself above others, sunshine" the voice of her father said inside her head.

Lily knew what she had to do. She just had to find the right moment.

[psystirene]

some iterator doodles bc I like. never post drawings of them??? and i think that's just criminal of me. I didn't realize how long this was so uhh

little bit of context under the read more ig!

millionth attempt at an nsh but i'm happy with this one. i had the idea of them having the cone-ish antennae(?) and idk it wouldn't leave my head. as you can kind of see i sketched out the entire body, i've been more consistent w my iterator depictions- that being said it's kind of hard to see and i can't find the file so. whimpers

second is so old to me, it's five pebbles but the rot is more floral. specifically it's meant to be stylized petunias, and was vaguely related to my AMterator AU. Petunia flower symbolism (sorry if the website was lying to me)

3. a pass at designing FP and LttM

4. look at me boy. i'm normal. this is more recent, vaguely low effort lilypad art for my idea of a mobile puppets au. I think that Moon would have an attachment to the raggedy cloak she's been given and has done what she can to style and fix it in a way that's more convenient for mobility. NSH's clothing was probably fine but they sewed matching patches onto their clothes for homo reasons <3 the other two bozos are FP and UI. I will eventually post my UI design when Iget to it

5. more UI and FP bc I vaguely ship them (more specifically my version of UI which is probably not all that canon compliant- I can't even remember stuff I say 5 seconds after I say it so I probably have forgotten a lot of lore). I think UI and FP would bicker constantly but like each other. At this point UI would have apologized to him but that doesn't change that they're both Like That

6. just Moon

7. abhorrent malevolence and unparalleled innocence staring. they probably wouldn't get along tbh

8. the iterators if.. if they had hair (according to UNPARALLELED INNOCENCE) not necessarily accurate to haircuts i think they'd actually like to have I just. idk. i like NSH's though. also i don't currently have a gw/cw yet so that's why they're not there

9. abhorrent meowlevolence

also bc this is a nsh-having post. i am yet again pushing my any pronouns ??? gender nsh agenda. he can be girlwife AND dudehusband

[dark-elf-writes]

I have no clue anything about ff but where is the ‘Harry gets adopted by FF7 characters and finds out what a family should be” au

No one is more surprised than me that I haven’t written this yet tbh like who am I????

ANYWAY

Little Harry who has heard a woman’s voice from a young age telling him that he is not alone, that he is not a freak, that he will be loved and cared for more than he could ever know. He always hears her more when he is working in his Aunt Petunia’s garden. Can practically feel her in the way the plants bloom more beautifully than anywhere else on their street. His invisible friend that helps him find what little beauty he can in his world.

And sometimes she talks about her friends. About a woman who is as strong as she is kind, who loves freely but took no shit, who welcomed those with good intentions with open arms and threw anyone without them out on their arse. About a ninja with sticky fingers and the blood of a princess who would give anything for her people and have fun every step of the way. About a father who demanded the world to change for his little girl and decided to be the push that set it all in motion. About an inventor trapped in the place he should have been able to do good but unable to make anyone listen so he sent his inventions out to make change for him. About a pilot who was grounded against his will and decided to make those that would clip his wings choke on that decision. About a man who was only doing his job and was hurt over and over again for doing the right thing and who learned slowly that the things done to him did not make him a monster.

About a hero that led them all, each of them broken and shattered in their own ways, into a better world.

Harry liked the stories of the hero the best.

Then one day things get bad and Uncle Vernon gets far more angry than he normally is. Harry runs to the garden, hoping somehow that his friend, his only friend, could save him, and she does.

In a space that is more light and glowing green energy than any “world” should be, he sees her for the first time, softly smiling and reaching out to rub her fingers through his hair. She is the prettiest lady he has ever seen. Another voice laughs when he tells her so and a big man with kind eyes, a scar on his face, and hair just as wild as Harry’s grins at him as he announces that “this kid knows what he’s talking about.”

She smiles though there is something sad in her eyes when she speaks.“I can send you somewhere that will help for a time, but eventually you will have to come back. This planet is quite certain that it needs you in the future.”

Harry wants to cry, wants to scream. How does he have to go back! He doesn’t want to.

But something else sticks with him, something that makes him hurt before he even realizes what it was.

“Send me somewhere. Not us?” Not his friend who had told him so many stories and helped him grow flowers? Not this pretty lady and the man with such a kind smile? After everything he would still be alone?

It’s the man’s hand that lands in his hair this time, a comforting weight as he ruffles the tangled locks. “Spike and the others will be waiting for you on the other side. They’ll take good care of you. SOLDIER’s honor.”

Harry doesn’t understand, can’t understand really but “You’re my friend,” he tells the woman, frustrated tears gathering in his eyes. He doesn’t have the words to say anything more. To name the swirling mass of hurt and yearning in his stomach.

She seems to understand smiling sadly at him again before she leans down to press a kiss to his forehead. “You’ll still be able to hear me. More clearly than most I think. I will not leave you Harry Potter.”

Harry Potter is seven years old when he goes missing from the backyard of his Aunt’s house in a swirl of green light. He is seven years old when he wakes up in a shallow pool of water in a church that has seen better days with a man with wild blond hair and shining blue eyes watching him in stunned silence. He is seven years old when his first friend sends him to his hero for safety.

[saintsenara]

this piece was written for the second @ladiesofhpfest monthly minis, this time focusing on lily evans. you can read the first piece i did for this challenge - on andromeda tonks - here, and find the masterlist of all the pieces written for andromeda here.

today, even though we're looking at lily, the perspective is someone else's: her much maligned and often overlooked sister, petunia.

petunia's letter to dumbledore, written just before her sister starts at hogwarts, is one of those incidental details which are dropped into canon and then never addressed again and which now live rent-free in my mind. i've always wondered what she said. i've always wondered why she wanted to follow her sister - with whom, from what we see of snape's memories, she doesn't seem to be particularly closely aligned in terms of personality, sense of daring etc. - to a castle in the middle of nowhere. i've always wondered why she wanted to be magic.

this is what i think she said.

Dear Professor Dumbledore,

My name is Petunia Evans.

I am thirteen years old and I live in Cokeworth with my parents and my sister, Lily. We are ordinary people - Muggles, your deputy headmistress called us - with a normal house and normal clothes. My father has a normal job, my mother keeps a normal home, my sister and I squabble like normal girls.

I am writing because, in ten days time, you will be taking my sister away from me.

We were supposed to go to school together - to St Andrew’s High School, where everyone we know goes - which is the normal thing to happen. But now Lily is going to your school, and I won’t be there to show her what you do at lunchtime or how to take books out of the library or to tell her which teachers are creepy and which ones are nice. I did that when she started in the infants and it's something I should be doing again. It's my job as her big sister, and I believe in doing things properly.

But instead people like you are taking Lily somewhere where everyone says I can’t follow. And nobody’s explained to me what I should say when people at school ask me why my little sister isn’t in the first form this September. Because if I just say that she’s gone to a boarding school, then people will ask why I’m not there too. Things might be different in your world, but in ours sisters go to the same school, and it's not right if they don't.

Lily rolls her eyes when I say this. Since she found out that she was a witch, she has taken to pretending that we were never the best of friends. Having been best friends with your sister isn't special enough, I suppose.

But we were. Totally inseparable, mummy called us. Never saw one without the other.

So I know that, when she gets to your school, Lily will probably pretend that she’s not related to someone like me. How could she be? After all, people have always stopped mummy to say that she’s pretty and sweet, with her red hair and her big eyes. They never stop her to talk about me. I’m just plain old Petunia, with yellow hair. Lily thinks I cry all the time and when we’re fighting she says that I look like a horse.

And now you’ve made that even worse. Because she thinks how can I be related to someone like Petunia? After all, Lily’s a witch, Lily’s magical, Lily will want to stick with her own sort, to have magical friends.

And I’m just a Muggle.

But - the thing is - I showed her magic first. Maybe it’s not as impressive as the sort of magic your lot can do - I can’t fly or make flowers bloom - but I was the first person who showed her that things are not what they seem, that everything can be transformed if you just know how. I was the first person who showed her how you can change boring things into fun ones by making them a game. I showed her how you can change flour and eggs and butter and sugar into a cake. I showed her how you can turn the black-and-white lines of a colouring book into a real picture. I taught her that snow melts and the garden comes alive again. I taught her that grazed knees scab and then the scab falls off and they’re healed. 

I was going to show her all the magic which grown ups get to have. We were going to move to London - or Manchester, or Liverpool, or Birmingham, anywhere, really - and go to restaurants and the cinema every night. We were going to get good jobs and trade silly stories about our bosses. We were going to get married, and be each other’s maid-of-honour, and have children, and be the favourite aunt. We were going to live next door to each other and gossip over the garden wall, and our children were going to grow up and be the very best of friends.

Aren’t those things magic too?

I think so. But Lily has already stopped thinking of them that way. She already looks down at the magic we used to have, and I want to stop that and let everything be as it should be. With me as the big sister.

I know that I could learn magic too, because I’ve already done so much of it. Please offer me a place at your school. I enclose my latest reports, so you can see that I’m clever and well-behaved. I look forward to your letter.

Yours sincerely,

Petunia Evans

[enbysiriusblack]

for your prompts:

either, jegulily (i have to be on brand): lily introducing her second boyfriend to her family

or, peters first meeting with james (hogwarts or pre hogwarts up to you)

-jegulily-stuff <3

doing the jegulily one cause i have more of an idea for it <3

"So", her mother started to say, "you go to Hogwarts as well?"

James nodded, "Yep! I'm in the same house as Lily so we're in a lot of each other's classes. And I'm captain of the quidditch team, so I play against Regulus and Lily cheers me on in the stands."

Lily scoffed, "I don't cheer you on."

"You don't?" James pouted before switching back to a grin, "She's also amazing at strategy plans, most of our wins are due to her help."

Petunia stabbed a piece of broccoli, "What even is 'quidditch'?"

"It's a sport! The most popular in the wizarding world, so there's these three hoops and the chasers have to score while the keepers try to block the ball. I'm a chaser. And there's the beaters which have to distract the others and usually try to injure them to get them out the game, and seekers who go after this tiny gold ball and when they catch it their team gets 100 points. Regulus is a seeker. oh and it's all done on broomsticks."

Lily's father smiled slightly, "You're a lot more chatty then Lily's boyfriend here. Not that either is a bad thing, of course."

Lily coughed, "right. So I should probably explain exactly why I invited James to come as well."

Regulus placed his cutlery down.

"As you guys know, I'm dating Regulus. But a few months back, Regulus and I also started dating James."

Her mother looked up in shock, "You- You're what?"

Her father lifted up his fork, raising it back and forth between James and Regulus, "Both of them?"

Petunia leaned back in disgust, "You're dating two people? Two guys? You can't date two people!"

"Well I technically can, since I am."

"It's not right. And they're dating each other? They're both guys!"

"Males can date each other", Regulus commented.

"It's not even legal!" She turned to her parents, "You can't be okay with this."

Her mother sighed, "Lily can date who she wishes."

"And I'm sure it's much more normal in that little witch world."

"The witch world isn't even normal!"

"Just be happy for Tuney!"

"I thought you couldn't be any more selfish, but I was so clearly wrong!"

"Petunia!" her mother called, as she jumped up from her chair and ran upstairs.

[sleepxng-prince]

⤨ Perspectives New and Old

the beginning with klee, albedo, and alice! reader is not yet mentioned, this au is a bit canon-divergent regarding backstories (generally the same with a modern twist, basically). klee and albedo are inspired by clementine and lee from twdg. this is essentially a pilot chapter, just to set the scene/plot in place :3 i'm really hoping this is well received because i am pouring all my time and effort into it lolol - that being said, reblogs heavily encouraged if you like this!

read on ao3! || master post!

3.0k words

The sound of silence really isn't as silent as one would think. The young man could hear the wind, the sound of his own breaths, the rustling of leaves and songs of birds - the sound of everything but nothing all at once.  His eyes were fixated on a nearby flower. A wild petunia found itself cozy within a small gathering of other lavender-colored petunias, making their home right next to the bench the boy occupied. 

The flower is silent, no noise emits from it even as the wind sways it gently back and forth. 

A loud bell rings out, jolting the man slightly from his trance. He looks up and towards the building in front of him, watching as the doors of the kindergarten open wide and children flood out of it laughing and screaming. He stands from the bench, entering the gates with a small smile pulling at his lips. He scans the crowd for a certain little girl clad in red, who comes skipping out of the door with her brown bag bouncing behind her. The little girl quickly takes notice of the boy, her red eyes sparkling with surprise as she sprints over, "Albedo!"

She calls out with a cheer, immediately wrapping her arms around the young boy, Albedo's, leg. Albedo ruffles the girl's hair and she lets go of him to take off her bag. He grabs the girl's bag from her and tosses it around his own shoulder before crouching down, "Hello, Klee. Did you have a good day at school?" Klee nods with eagerness, already opening her mouth to begin talking about the things she did today. Albedo reaches to pick her up and she complies mindlessly, allowing Albedo to stand up with Klee held against his hip. 

"- and then BOOM!" Klee lets out a string of giggles, using her arms to express the size of the explosion she was talking about. Albedo nods to her to show that he is listening, which prompts her to continue, this time asking him a question; "You do science stuff at school too, right? Do you see big explosions all the time?!" Albedo only chuckles, "I'm sorry, Klee. In university, experiments are much more controlled and explosions aren't normally a desired outcome." Klee pouts and exclaims that "adult school" is boring, to which Albedo agrees with in his mind. Despite enjoying his field of study, he couldn't deny that he found certain days and certain classes boring. But that's guaranteed with anything, really. There's always going to be the boring part of something interesting.  Albedo doesn't verbally respond to Klee's comment, instead letting out a short huff of air from his nose in amusement and the conversation falls silent. Klee rests her head against Albedo's shoulder, clearly exhausted from spending her energy playing all day with her classmates, prompting Albedo to slightly speed up his pace. 

A few minutes later, the faint jingling of keys stirs Klee from her impromptu nap. She blinks her eyes open and raises a hand to rub the sleepiness from one. Albedo unlocks the door to her home and sets Klee on her feet, closing the door behind him as the little girl walks off and into the main room of the apartment. Albedo shrugs Klee's bag off his shoulder, placing it on the ground near the door as he, too, makes his way further into the small home. 

"Aunt Alice?" The boy calls out before hearing the sound of movement coming from one of the bedrooms. Alice peeks her head out from behind a door before fully leaving the room, walking towards Albedo with outstretched arms and a wide smile, "Sweetie! It's so nice to see you again, how were your classes today? I hope Klee didn't give you a hard time on the way home, hehe."  Albedo allows the woman to envelop him in a hug, returning it gently. 

"Classes were fine today, and Klee was well behaved. It helped that she was asleep most of the walk here," He comments, looking over to the young toddler that was now curled up on the couch getting ready to continue her nap.  "I'm glad, I'm glad," Alice lets go from the hug, "Go sit down, I'll bring you two snacks to unwind with."  Albedo doesn't dare reject her offer and follows her instructions with a nod, taking his place on the comfortable couch next to the now-sleeping-Klee. He reaches over and carefully slides her shoes off before covering her with the blanket formerly used for decoration, then picks up the remote from the coffee table to turn on the television. He flicks by channels quickly, barely giving some the time of day to hook him in.  He keeps going until the more colorful television programs begin to pop up - the kids' channel. Klee is asleep, but it was a habit for him to switch to the first cartoon he could find for the little girl. She would appreciate having something to keep her attention while she had a snack, he's sure of that. 

Albedo's eyes scan the room briefly - nothing was out of the ordinary. His aunt's house looked the same as it did everyday, the route home was no different than yesterday's and the day before that. Aunt Alice even came out of the same room as yesterday to greet him. Yet, there's something off about this day in particular - Albedo's not sure if it's a good or bad thing, but it still made him feel out of place.  His eyes landed on the window, his eyes tracing the branches of a tree that hangs in front and covers the view very slightly. The branch was stationary, and the leaves gently wiggled with the wind - some even falling to the grass below. nothing is out of place, he concludes. He must just be exhausted. H e blinks and pulls his attention from the branch and towards his baby cousin beside him. She twists in her sleep, ending up on her back with a foot hanging off the couch. Albedo lets a short huff of air leave his nose as he tucks Klee's leg back into the couch before standing up. 

The soft hum of a joyful tune lured Albedo into the kitchen where Alice maneuvered around. with a quiet clearing of his throat, he interrupts her performance, "Aunt Alice, do you need any help?"  At his inquiry, Alice teasingly rolls her eyes, "Ever the hard worker, aren't you? If you wouldn't mind, could you help me with slicing the apples?" Albedo says nothing in response and simply goes to grab a knife and an apple, wordlessly getting to work as Alice continues on with putting together the rest.  After a few moments of silence, Alice speaks up - "You know, Albedo… You can call me mom."  The knife in the boy's hand comes to a stop half way through an apple. He turns his head towards the older woman with a lopsided look on his face. She returns his confused look with a beaming smile, "I'm just saying! You practically are my son, and you treat my daughter like your little sister, so I think it's only befitting!" 

Albedo lets a chuckle fall from his lips as he finishes the cut finally, deciding that was enough sliced apples, "If only Gold were here to hear you say that."  A bubble of laughter erupts from Alice, and she pats Albedo on the back, "Oh, she'd have my head." Alice takes the apple slices from him, moving them over to her section of the kitchen.  "You know," she starts up again, "Rhinedottir was very proud of who you are growing up to be."  Albedo's eyes find the branch from earlier in the distance, noticing how the green began to thin out as the wind took the leaves far from their homes. 

"She'd be boasting about you every chance she could get right about now. Oh, if only she could see the young man you've grown into now. Such a smart, caring boy," Alice continues, elbowing Albedo in the side gently as she placed the tray of apple slices now covered in multiple spices and toppings into the oven, "Anyone would be very, very lucky to be able to call you their son."  His eyes softened at her words, his lips curling into a small smile. Alice returns this smile, the faint wrinkles in her face making the upturn of her lips all the more prominent.  A comforting silence fell over the kitchen, save for the muffled sound of cartoons playing in the distance. Albedo’s thumb rubs against the handle of the knife soothingly, allowing the fallen conversation to repeat in his head as if he had rewinded a movie to rewatch his favorite part. Truthfully, he’s already considered Alice his mother and Klee his little sister — any time he wasn't at his dorm, he was here. Any time he wasn't overworking himself alongside his best friend, Sucrose, he was here. Enjoying the comfort of what a family can be, something he had been stripped of so young.  If anything, Albedo is the lucky one. He has everything he could have possibly wanted - granted, his mother left behind a lot for him already, but… She wasn’t one of those things. Albedo never expected himself to get caught up with personal relationships, but the moment he started letting people in, he found himself a lot happier of a person. The mystery of his roots no longer plague him as something that needs to be solved, because he’s made up for a lot of what he missed out on with Alice, and Klee, and Sucrose — they’re people who mean a lot to him, though he doubts he’ll ever have the courage to express that to them personally.

A short sigh passes Albedo’s lips, and he allows his thoughts to settle as he sets down the knife in his hands. Alice had been silently working away at the dishes while he was caught up in the crevices of his mind, so he moves to join her. “Are you done playing with knives?” Alice asks with a teasing lilt to her voice, and Albedo simply responds with the shake of his head. He places the knife in the sink and splays his hand open for Alice to place the sponge in his hand. “I’ll take over from here,” He claims, giving Alice no room to refuse. She playfully rolls her eyes in response and places the sponge in his hand, before rinsing hers off in the sink.

“Okay, Mr. Busybody, I’ll leave you to it.” 

With the final ruffle to Albedo’s hair, Alice leaves him to finish washing the dishes and instead tends to her sleeping daughter. Alice joins Klee on the couch, lifting her head up to slip underneath so that Klee has something to lay her head on. The colorful animated characters beam on the television, telling stories that teach children lessons – truthfully, Klee was a little too old for cartoons of this level. She still enjoys them, sure, but she’s not the baby she once was. It’s something that Albedo seems to fail to grasp, really – but that’s no fault of his. His memories of childhood are reduced to nothing but puzzle pieces that have no specific place they fit into, so he tries his best.  Alice begins to undo Klee’s pigtails, running her fingers through her soft blonde hair. It had gotten a little tangled during the day, most likely due to her chaotic and playful nature. Such a small girl with so much energy… Klee reminds Alice of herself when she was young. 

Moments fly by slowly, the comfortable silence between the three feeling more like a warm blanket than anything. Days like these, while typically uneventful, have always been Alice’s favorite – they’re memorable in their own ways, and it’s something that’s really appreciated when the world always seems to be crashing in on itself.  Alice finds her eyes involuntarily shutting, the subtle flickering of the television being the only thing to keep her slightly conscious. The sound of the sink running has already faded, and so has every other noise – this tiredness came out of nowhere, it seems, and has entirely enveloped Alice.

And so, she slumbers. In the comfort of her own home, surrounded by her daughter and her nephew.

The land of dreams does not fall upon Alice, but it does fall upon Klee. Things are, of course, chaotic in nature – but this is something Klee enjoys. Explosions of different colors, setting of fireworks in the shapes of her friends… The little girl is comforted, not only by what joins her in her thoughts, but the feeling of her mother’s presence beside her. Such a thought brings a smile upon her slumbering face, and she indulges in her overactive imagination for a little longer.

… Or, perhaps not. The overbearing sound of static overtakes her elongated, pointed ears - a feature that she shares with Alice, of course - and interrupts her from what she considers a sweet dream. Klee feels the warmth of a blanket placed over her lap. A warmth that would be welcome any other time, but right now… it’s hot. Klee kicks the blanket from her body and rubs the sleep out of her eyes, ignoring the hungered pang of her stomach. She slips swiftly out of her mother’s hold, taking the blanket she once wore and placing it over Alice instead. It’s not the first time Klee’s made her own food – she’s a big girl! Making cereal or peanut butter sandwiches are no big deal, and they’re super delicious as well. Just the thought of something sweet but fulfilling brings Klee’s stomach to a rumble once more. And with that, she skips over to the kitchen as quietly as she can. 

Klee takes her stool and places it against the kitchen’s island counter. She steps up and reaches for the bread box, her tiny hands and short arms struggling to reach. The tips of her fingers poke the edge of the box, motivating Klee to try harder to grasp at the box – her legs now dangle off the table, 

her toes barely grazing the stool. The bread is so close, yet so far; Klee growls under her breath, a sound that's a mixture of annoyance and struggle as her little body continues to wiggle onto the table.

Then, a thud sounds out. This stops the young girl in her tracks, causing her to slip off of the counter in order to check what had fallen. Klee has always had good manners, cleaning up after herself, making sure she's quiet... so, if she had knocked something down, she had no intention to simply leave it there. Her eyes scan the ground, her feet leading her to circle the island counter in search for the mess she assumes she's made. But then, she hears it again. A thump, like something had flopped to the ground. This time, it becomes obvious that Klee hadn't dropped anything - in reality, the sound wasn't coming from the floor in the first place.

The door is slammed against once again.  Klee flinches, confused and slightly afraid over the noise. It's slow, with a lot of time in between, so it clearly isn't someone who's knocking... Klee hears no voices outside, instead her pointed ears are filled with the static noise from the television that had all but blended into the atmosphere. She debates waking up her mother, but what if it's nothing? What if the sound is simply just a bird accidentally flying into the door, and Klee will have woken up her mother - who doesn't sleep as much as she really should - for nothing.

Klee creeps towards the door, barely making a sound as she awaits for the next noise. A staggering silence stands between her and the door, but that doesn't stop Klee from decreasing the distance. A hand raises in anticipation, ready to open the door and peek out to get rid of her paranoia. The lack of thumping fails to comfort the child, though she doubts that the banging sound will make her feel any better either. Her tiny fingers shake, reaching out to the doorknob that she can barely reach - but her skin and the metal knob never collide. 

"Klee!"

This whisper-shout jolts Klee away from the door, her head flinging around to look behind her in a panic. At the other end of the house, Albedo sits crouched in a hallway. He ushers her over, to which Klee gladly bolts herself towards him.  "Stay away from the door for me, okay?" Albedo continues to whisper, his voice barely reaching above a certain decibel. It's at this point that Klee realizes that something is not quite right. Albedo hiding had thrown her off entirely, and left her racing mind wondering why through so many unvoiced questions. Instead of asking, however, Klee nods at Albedo and huddles close to him.  "Don't go in front of windows, either. I need you to promise me."

Klee gulps, her brows pinching together with concern as Albedo grasps both of her shoulders with his hands. She's... never seen him so intense before. His typically stoic, aloof disposition has crumbled in the blink of an eye. It scares her, and the fact that she's scared of Albedo sets in even more fear. It's then that she realizes the discoloration on Albedo's hands as he pulls away. The tips of his fingers are dark, but with the lack of light in the house it's hard to pinpoint the exact color. 

"Albedo, what's wrong?" Klee whimpers, her eyes glossing over. She's so horrified at the fact that she has no idea what's going on that it becomes overwhelming, and tears form on her bottom eyelids. The three of them were having such a comfortable evening, all gathered together and winding down from busy days - that perfect, normal, and natural day had been tainted like a bottle of black ink being spilt onto a cherished picture, ruining the vision of a happy family.

With Albedo's next words, which had been spoken so impulsively, the black ink spread even further;

"I... think I killed someone."

[quillkiller]

hiii jen, sending in marytunia for the ask game bc they’re all i think about….would love ur thoughts <3

hiiii i literally love them so much. i was sent an ask about them a few months ago and it changed me forever i fear but i haven’t thought about them in so long….. and i see your tags about them and now @sugarsnappeases is dming about them and im soooooo. so so so.

makes sense/compels me. i dare say

like even in canon i think they could make sense ?? im imagining mary spending the summer at lilys house/mary and lily being best friends and petunia resenting it and absolutely resenting mary. her and lily growing further and further apart from each other…. i imagine lily sneaking out at night, meeting some boy or girl. or when she eventually ends up dating james and sneaking out to see him. and it leaves mary alone in lilys room and thats when her and petunia get closer. maybe lily doesn’t even know…. and eventually mary and petunia are falling asleep together after staying up all night talking

i also especially love it if marys a muggleborn witch, which intrigues petunia will and at first causes a lot of jealousy and resentment. maybe even. dare i say. resentment from mary towards lily because lily is this wonder child, teachers favorite, everyones favorite ?? like mary loves lily but i feel like we’ve all been the ’funny friend’ or ’the ””ugly”” friend’ and that’s how i feel sometimes mary felt being best friends with lily. also none of this is lilys fault obviously she didnt ask for any of this. anyway!!!!!

petunia resents mary, shes obsessed with her, and why does lily even like her so fucking much, and is this what it could’ve been like between me and lily if i had also been a witch, and why are her eyes so golden anyway, and why does she give me these secretive smiles, and why am i up past my bed time waiting to hear lilys foot steps when she sneaks out so i know marys alone, and why am i even walking over there, normal people dont have these sort of feelings for other girls, and im normal, vernon likes me so much, hes a good respectable man, he’d be a good provider, but mary is just so nice, she’s so interesting, and is she falling asleep on my shoulder? i’ll never ever move again, what would lily say if she saw us like this, her lips are so close to my neck, what does mary see in lily anyway, lily is arrogant and gets whatever she wants, what about what i want, she doesn’t even appreciate mary, she leaves her alone nearly every night, how could she not want to wake up with mary every single morning, mary is magic, she makes me feel like magic

also especially good if mary is in love with/or thinks she is with lily.. i love a good angsty secret summer romance plot :/ also love it if petunia feels secretly vindictive whenever mary sneaks into her room. taking something that ’belongs’ to lily

ALSO. also. love it if mary shows up at petunias house after the first war. after lily is dead. thinking maybe they would grieve. be there for each other. but they’re blaming each other. why didn’t you fight? petunia asks, eyes glued the floor. why didn’t you protect my sister?

maybe i also wanted to live a normal fucking life, mary spits back at her, jugdment hot and heavy in her tone. petunia feels nothing but shame when she goes to bed that night. a bed made of it— and her perfectly normal house enveloping her in shame, suffocating her from within

anyway .

ask game!!!

[jmagnabo92]

GGSB Fest 2024 - Trio Of Parents?

@goodgodfathersiriusblack

Prompt - Family Tree

When Harry completes a family tree project for school, his teacher has something to say about Sirius' family on the tree.

AO3

***

“Excuse me, Mr. Potter,” the voice of Harry’s muggle teacher comes from behind him.  

He turns back, he’d just been dropping Harry off for school, and he’s sure that Harry couldn’t have done anything wrong in the first few minutes of class.  “Yes, Miss Feeny?”

She clears her throat.  “As you know, yesterday, Harry and his class turned in their family tree project…”

Oh.  Sirius wondered if he would have to explain why Harry’s family tree was different to a normal family tree since it includes Sirius as a father to him and his family as part of it.  Although, Sirius hadn’t been too eager to name his parents as part of the tree, he didn’t want to tell Harry why so he allowed him to include them.

“Yes, I know I helped him with it,” Sirius states.

“So, you’re aware that he created a unique family tree?”

Sirius nods.  “He has a unique family tree.  Erm, as you know, his parents passed away, but I am godfather…”

“Which doesn’t make you his parent for a family tree.”

“I completely disagree, but that’s not the point,” Sirius states, strongly.  “I didn’t want to explain it all unless I had to, but the three of us were meant to be all three married… they were my husband and wife, so even though biologically, Harry is theirs, he’s my son, too.  Thus, he has three parents.”

It’s clear that she doesn’t quite like that explanation as she says, “It’s not something that we should … explain to the class at large (and they’re each meant to present the tree to the class), so while I understand the unique situation, I think Harry should redo the family tree assignment without your family as part of the tree.”

Sirius frowns.  “Are you kidding me?”

“No at all, I just think –”

“I think you’re being rather ignorant asking for that,” Sirius states.  “As a matter of fact, I think I should talk to the Headmistress…”

“I don’t think that’s necessary.”

“I think it is.”

With that, he turns and stalks towards the Headmistress’ office.

He’ll take care of this. 

***

The conversations with the Headmistress went so much better than Harry’s teacher, Miss Feeny.  She agreed that Miss Feeny’s request was rather… ignorant and rude.  Thus, Sirius (with the rest of the parents), sits through the family tree presentations – it wasn’t originally the plan, but the Headmistress decided that it was the only way for Sirius to be sure that Miss Feeny allowed Harry to explain his family tree. 

Sure enough, she attempted to stop him, but Sirius made sure that Harry got his chance.

And now, he’s up at the front of the class, pointing out his parents – James, Lily, and Sirius.  He talks about how Sirius is a wonderful Pads and what they used to do before they passed.  Then, he talks about his grandparents, his aunt and uncles (Petunia, Vernon, and Regulus), and his cousin.  

The class had some lovely questions and support for Harry as he finishes.  A unique family and a lovely tree.  

“And that’s my family.”

“Thank you, Harry.”

He rushes over to Sirius, who hugs him tightly.  “Great presentation, kiddo.”

“You liked it?”

“Of course.  It’s our perfect family tree.”

“Good.”