#petunia/ofc/Sirius

[realitybitesyouknowit]

Chapters: 74/74 Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Addams Family - All Media Types Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Remus Lupin/Severus Snape, Neville Longbottom/Harry Potter, All the rest are a surprise! Have fun! Characters: Harry Potter, Petunia Evans Dursley, Vernon Dursley, Dudley Dursley, Albus Dumbledore, Severus Snape, Original Characters, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Molly Weasley, Charlie Weasley, Minerva McGonagall, Theodore Nott, Daphne Greengrass, Vincent Crabbe, Gregory Goyle, Tom Riddle | Voldemort, Hannah Abbott, Susan Bones, Seamus Finnigan, Dean Thomas, Neville Longbottom, Draco Malfoy, Wayne Hopkins, Roger Davies, Blaise Zabini, Terry Boot, Rubeus Hagrid, Filius Flitwick, Pomona Sprout, Argus Filch, Mrs Norris (Harry Potter), Goblins (Harry Potter), Morticia Addams, Gomez Addams, Wednesday Addams, Pugsley Addams Additional Tags: Canon What Canon, Alternate Universe, Magically Powerful Harry Potter, Explicit Language, Inheritance, Albus Dumbledore Bashing, Manipulative Albus Dumbledore, I just hate Dumbledore ok, Mentions of non-con, Graphic Description, Sexual Content, Blood, Threesome - F/M/M, Foursome - F/F/M/M, Polyamory, Male Homosexuality, Bisexual Female Character, Female Homosexuality, Bisexual Male Character, non-binary, gender fluid, Complete Series: Part 1 of Harry Potter and the One Choice Universe Summary:

What would have happened if Petunia Evans Dursley had made another choice on first November when she found her nephew on the doorstep instead of the morning paper?

[witchering10123]

sirius' death scene BUT remus runs to pull him out of the veil before he falls through

however james and lily were on the other side shoving sirius back

and when remus yanks on sirius, james and lily fall out of the veil behind them

[enbysiriusblack]

rereading lily's letter to sirius:

starting off strong with 'dear', very formal letter writing but also kinda endearing depends how you look at it. BUT she follows with his 'padfoot' soo it's def endearing. it already shows just how close the two are from those two words.

ofc harry's favourite present was the one sirius got him (#bestdogfather)

ofc sirius gets a 1yr old a toy broom (#funnestdogfather)

i love how chill lily is about harry almost killing the cat and smashing a vase. she's so the fun mum. also petunia and lily still sending each other christmas presents, like why do i find that so sad/sweet?? idk. i love their relationship sm it's so interesting. and ik some people are gonna be thinking 'oh petunia probably regifted the ugly vase' but no. i think she went shopping specifically for lily and picked it out thinking it looked great (she's got horrible taste)

lily saying james found it funny as if she didn't also. girl please, you know you found it so fucking funny. also james already planning out harry's quidditch career. the man is obsessed. (no war au hari def would've became a professional qudditch player i fear)

btw if you're not british, "we've had a very quiet birthday tea", basically means like an afternoon tea. they're not just drinking tea, they do have tea but also some food (like lunchy food, sandwiches and cakes) and sit down at a table and chat basically. and harry will likely also be opening presents during it too

harry kinda having a doting grandma with bathilda>>>

lily prioritising the order !! she's so responsible, smart, dedicated i love her. plus she's being so real about babies. like. yeah he ain't gonna remember it anyway (also i'm guessing this means like. sirius had an order mission so couldn't come to harry's birthday? but does this mean peter and remus did too? or was only sirius invited??)

james having trouble with just staying at home constantly <33 and trying to hide it so lily doesn't worry <333 cutest husband ever.

fuck dumbledoreeeee. i don't mind him sometimes, but how dare he take james' cloak (his family heirloom) so james and lily and harry can't go on secret outing together??? they are NOT made for staying inside. james needs his runs and flying and fresh air and chats to strangers and lily needs her woods and nature and hiking and camping.

"if you could visit, it'd cheer him up so much" SHE GETS THEM.. SHE GETS THEM

lily also calling peter "wormy", they're so also her best friends and not just james', do NOT even argue.

ik people argue this bit about the mckinnons as a proof lily was never close to marlene, but it so is proof of the opposite to me!! maybe i'm coldhearted, but i would NOT be crying all fucking evening just cause a family that i kinda know and am colleagues with one or a few of them got killed.. all evening??? ALL EVENING?? yeah, they were def close friends for sure. (and she's not just gonna single out marlene because it was ALL her family, it'd be a bit weird and disrespectful to only say marlene. especially if you, as a lot of people do, hc lily and marlene as roommates and close friends all throughout school. like lily would've visited marlene's family quite a few times. she'd know them fairly well)

lily getting ALL the gossip about dumbledore from bathilda. love that for her. also her not believing dumbledore was friends with grindelwald i'm giggling. she would've lost her mind at the idea of them as exes fr (also lily building up the suspense about dumbledore being friends with grindelwald by putting the "friends with grindelwald" part on the next page so he'd have to read the next page.. she totally didn't just run out of room. that was on purpose)

"lots of love" SCREAMING. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SM. lilypad ily. lilypad ily. bestfriends fr!!!!!!!

also not related to the text itself, but severus taking the page where lily says "lots of love" and cutting lily out of the photo of harry on his broomstick like... FUCKING MAN.. that was for SIRIUS. that's lily's love for SIRIUS. don't take her love, she didn't fucking mean it for you, don't try to pretend it was you, you absolute wanker.. anyway

[whinlatter]

The broken family bond between Harry and Petunia!

wow while usher was dancing his socks off at half-time you were thinking about petunia dursley née evans' malicious treatment of everyone's favourite grouchy knobbly-kneed jock... what does this say about you anon? look inwards

i feel terrible that i do not have too many thoughts about the broken family bond between harry and petunia but i DO have thoughts about what harry represents as a challenge to the nuclear family unit and its associated class connotations that petunia cares so much about. one thing i have been thinking A Lot about recently is petunia's description of snape as 'that awful boy' in ootp (which ofc, at the time, harry thinks is a reference to james), and how petunia's ideas about class and social mobility colour her view of wizards and, by extension, her resentment and contempt for harry. sooo i have talked about that instead......... ctrl + f neoliberal renders 2 results below i'm so sorry

when we meet petunia in the canon timeline, she's a parody of a tory home counties suburban housewife, striving middle class in the very thatcherite neoliberal sense, all about the house prices and the pension pot, with her perfectly maintained peach home decor and pristine garden, with a husband who has made his money through a managerial position in industrial manufacturing, who sends her son to private school and monitors the material wealth of her neighbours and associates very acutely. we know that young petunia wanted to join wizarding society and was rejected by it, and we know that adult petunia now holds wizarding world and its culture in open contempt. we particularly know that petunia hated snape, and that, other than lily, snape was the first wizard she ever really met. to young petunia's eyes, snape had all the visible markers of poverty and of being working class ("They live down Spinner’s End by the river," she told Lily, and it was evident from her tone that she considered the address a poor recommendation.') nevertheless, by virtue of being a wizard, this shabby poor-looking boy was elevated above petunia as something particularly special, and sneered at petunia as lesser than him as a result. i think this is interesting, because i think young petunia processes her rejection from magic by starting to think of magic and wizarding culture as a perverse subversion of the class system she knows and believes in, where a visibly working class person can somehow be special and worthy. (we can speculate what she would make of james potter as her son-in-law - james, while obviously wealthy, is old money posh coded - he doesn't work for a living! - aka not at all invested in the hard-work discourse, keeping-up-with-appearances that the new money suburban types that petunia strives for).

why does this matter? i just think it's very striking that petunia's complaints about harry are so often expressed less in terms of the danger of his magic, than his threat to external perceptions of her and her family, and, especially, as a challenge to their class position

petunia makes critiques of harry's messy appearance, his misbehaviour at primary school (caused by his magic), his association with the criminal (sirius black) and the shabby (the weasleys), and his refusal to respect or show any deference to vernon and the family despite their great attempts to maintain the trappings of respectability. the particular horror of harry's presence in the dursleys' life, in petunia's mind, is that his existence makes her family an alternative blended family, which compromises all that petunia holds dear in terms of the trappings of middle class respectability that puts a great deal of social capital on the nuclear family unit and no deviation from it. i don't mean to suggest petunia only perceives magic as a class threat, or that she doesn't fear harry's magic as something dangerous. her response to dudley's dementor run-in proves how much she fears what magic can do (and, ofc, she knows what happened to lily). but what's striking in DH is that petunia is still umming and ahhing, as vernon is, about whether to go into hiding. unlike movie!petunia in that deleted scene, book!petunia still isn't convinced about 'what these people are capable of'. for this reason, i think petunia has come to think of wizarding culture in terms of a fundamental challenge to the class system she understands and upholds, and to the primacy of middle class new money neoliberal suburban identity that is petunia's entire worldview. and that's really the source of her beef with harry: not his threat to her safety, but to her class identity, which is adult petunia's whole world.

[t1oui]

hi everybody i'm having some thoughts right now and i need to share them. mentions of walburga black's a+ parenting in this fic idea so do be aware of that

what if regulus's parents send him to "conversion camp" after he comes out as trans but the conversion camp actually turns out to be a safe house for queer kids run by effie and monty that's masking as a conversion camp so homophobic parents send their kids there.

so reg arrives dressed up in a nice dress and with walburga aggressively using she/her pronouns and his deadname and the second she leaves effie is like "well that sucked, why don't we get you some more comfortable clothes and you can tell me your actual name?" and regulus is like oh. oh this is the best thing that's ever happened to me and my parents are idiots

i'm envisioning that the place is a farm and so the only rules for kids at the safe house are 1. be nice to each other and 2. find something to spend your time on every day that's not just a device (it doesn't have to be farm related) (this is a muggle au if you couldn't tell)

and ofc because it's effie and monty's place james is there and he likes helping out on the farm. reg takes one look at him and is like yeah ik i was gay but this man confirms it

☆

that's all i have rn as far as plot and story (i mean james and reg fall in love obviously but other than that idk) so here's intros to the cast of characters and their roles in the story !! (this is my favorite part):

james potter (18) - he/him pansexual (+ maybe ace) - son of effie and monty - helps out on the farm

regulus black (17) - he/him gay & transmasc - sent there after coming out as trans (or just after walburga finds out bc let's be real he probably knew not to tell her) - currently trying to figure out his hobby

sirius black (18) - he/him gay - knew james in school, came here after fight w/ parents when he was 16 - makes art

remus lupin (19) - he/they bisexual & transmasc - father disowned him and his mother, with the best of intentions, sent him to the farm when he was 16 in hopes that his father would reconsider cutting him off - works in the garden/greenhouses, helps with the bees

barty crouch jr (17) - he/him bisexual demiromantic + hypersexual - sent there at 15 by his father after some scandal with another politician's son - makes pottery, some of which he sells at the farmer's market every saturday

emmeline vance (19) - she/her queer - sent at 17 by her parents after they caught her with a girl - works in the orchard & cooks

marlene mckinnon (18) - she/her lesbian - lives down the road and comes by to help james

lily evans (18) - she/her lesbian - sent at 15 by her sister after her parents died and petunia got custody of her - makes her own clothes and sells them at the market

mary macdonald (18) - she/her bisexual - adopted by the potters at 13 after her parents died in a car accident - looks after the goats and llamas & helps with the horses

pandora rosier (18) - she/her pansexual transfem - sent at 17 after her parents found out she was trans - works w the horses

evan rosier (18) - he/they biromantic asexual & bigender - sent at 17 after their parents caught them wearing "girl clothes" - writes + draws, helps rem with the bees

dorcas meadowes (17) - she/her lesbian - sent at 17 (a few months before reg) after her parents caught her watching... adult content of two women - makes & sells bouquets, effie helps her <3

peter pettigrew (18) - he/him aromantic (NOT ace) - marlene's next door neighbor, has had sex with barty multiple times and these two fuck in the WEIRDEST spots (poor james keeps catching them :')) - helps emmeline in the orchard

severus snape (17) - he/him bisexual transmasc - sent by his father at 14 after starting to present as a boy - cooks, helps lily with her clothes making sometimes, writes sad boy poetry (/half joking)

narcissa, alice, and xeno will also be in the story i'm just not sure exactly where they fit in... xeno's another neighbor and narcissa's a former safehouse resident who's now living w alice but that's all i know rn

☆

now as for SHIPS...

so i know there will be jegulus of course, and since sirius is totally going to pine for gardener/beekeeper remus wolfstar too. i want rosekiller, but because of barty and peter's dynamic, i'm thinking romantic rosekiller w/ sexual party and queerplatonic... peter x evan (idk their ship name 😭)

as for the GIRLS... omg i have so many thoughts guys AAAAA

first of all i cant decide between pandalily and dorlily for lily and i don't want a triad (i don't ship panda x dorcas) and i don't want both so that's... rough

and then there's also marylene.... BUT DORLENE-

i wanna put sev with someone (ik he's not a girl but i'm having thoughts for him rn)... maybe he smooches w emmeline?? but i feel like she'd make fun of him 💀 (in a joking way but yk)

or maybe emmeline could go with mary panda with lily dorcas with marlene... and... sev with xeno?? guys am i a genius

so yeah other than jegulus, wolfstar, and partyvan idk what to do. live laugh love multishipping am i right

[ashesandhackles]

@hprecfest Day 2 - A Comfort fic

Regretfully Yours by @maria-de-salinas

Severus/ Petunia. Explicit.

The unexpectedly tender and intimate romance between Severus and Petunia - post the events of First War- tops this list. Maria has a way of writing care, intimacy with such loving attention to detail, it blows me away in all of her work. This also has a sequel!

Summary:

1981 was not Petunia's year. The day before New Year's Eve, determined to make a fresh start of it, she straps Harry and Dudley into the car and flees north--only to hit into the biggest snowstorm she's ever seen in her life. Grief-stricken and dazed by his pivot from Death Eater to teacher, Severus Snape spends his holiday far from everyone, wandering aimlessly through the snow. The last thing either of them wanted was their paths to collide, but when Petunia gets stuck in the snow, they'll get stuck with each other.

2. Not bright or noble, but almost sublime by @yletylyf

Severus/Sirius raising Harry. Explicit.

I remember talking to Lety when we connected in Snirius fandom: "Where are the fluffy fics? Where are the raising Harry fics?" Of course, Snirius fandom as a whole is interested in the tension and delicious angst of Sirius and Severus together, often veering to darker territories - so it was a relief when Lety started writing this! A very fun Snirius raising Harry story.

Summary:

On that fateful Halloween night in Godric's Hollow, Severus Snape and Sirius Black unite in a common cause: find the Secret-Keeper who betrayed their best friend. Or: A temporary truce turns into something much more.

3. The Dog and Deer Detective Agency by @artemisia-black

Sirius/OFC.

If you ever wanted to see Sirius Black in a noir-esque mystery, this is your fic. Not only is Artemisia good at building the luxuriant atmosphere for the foreboding story, this is a good exploration of Sirius in an alternate universe without threat of Voldemort. He is a freer version of the man you might see in canon, but still has that family baggage. There is also tons of baby Harry and Sirius cuteness (yes, that is my catnip- Harry and Sirius are my favourite dynamic in canon)

Summary:

Set in an AU where Voldemort is never born. James and Sirius are both the best of friends and brilliant wizards, and not wanting to be tied down to a 9-to-5, they founded a detective agency. A year in, they have had a steady business from scorned spouses until one day a woman arrives and draws them into a sinister plot in the Scottish Highlands.

sore subject by @incalculablepower

Lavendar Brown/Parvati Patil & Demelza Robbins/Parvati Patil

No one gets the romantic comedy #vibe of Half Blood Prince quite like Incalculable Power. This fic is special among her work because she captures an experience lot of queer women go through - an intense codependent friendship that is just waiting to edge into romance.

Summary:

The High Priestess, reversed. Trust your intuition. Your true self is waiting; she refuses to be contained for much longer.

Orchards by @whinlatter

Harry/Ginny.

Whinlatter dropped into the fandom with a 17k fic written about the summer Harry and Ginny fell in love, and it was utterly beautiful tribute to first loves, Harry, Ginny and also, the third character: the orchard. Even when the fic weaved in the grief Harry is still dealing with and references the war years, it is infused with hope for the future.

Summary:

The orchard is a wild, thousand-flower, crumpled-gate, fall-down-fence sort of place, where things grow that you’ve never asked for, that you’d never expect. The summer of ’96, the story of something flowery he thought he might have smelled at the Burrow.

[elliemarchetti]

Through Whispers and Promises

@jilychallenge | Winter in June | partner: @petals2fish

Prompt: We're wet and however will we warm each other? Oh! By taking off our wet clothes and using body heat, ofc!

Plot: Voldemort rises to power while the Marauders are still at school, inevitably forcing them to flee to survive. After a daring escape through the Forbidden Forest, Lily finally manages to Apparate her and James to a safe place.

Words: 1406

It was a risky move, Lily knew it. They had just started Apparition lessons, and she didn't remember where she wanted to go as clearly as the instructor had said was necessary, but it was a matter of life and death, and she was sure the Ministry had more serious business to worry about. By the time the news had reached the Gryffindor’s Common Room, through whispers of paintings and ghosts, the younger students had already gone to sleep, and only a few of the older ones were spread across the chairs and sofas, trying to finish their homework before sleep took over.

“We have to go,” James declared, interrupting the History of Magic quiz Marlene was giving her.

“They’re inside the castle?” Remus asked, jumping to his feet.

James just nodded, no need to specify who he was referring to. Even if they had tried to ignore it, everyone knew that sooner or later the Death Eaters would get there, they had only hoped to at least manage to finish the sixth year, turn seventeen and have a shot at joining the rebellion. All fantasies and hopes shattered now.

“What do we do? We wake up the others?” inquired Sirius, ready to sprint towards the dormitories, but Lily could tell from the heartbroken expression on Potter’s usually cheerful face that there was no time and they had to exploit the relative quietness of the castle.

“Take this,” he said to his best friend, shoving a yellowed parchment into his hands. “We will use the Cloak.”

“What about Peter?” questioned Marlene, looking around.

“He went to the kitchen to get something to eat,” Remus replied, and a lone tear threatened to make its way down the pretty blonde’s cheek. They had been friends since they were children, long before school started and the Marauders became inseparable, yet she knew she would have to leave him behind if she didn’t intend to be the recipient of a killing curse.

“Between us, he’s the one with the best chance of survival,” Sirius tried to console her, and with that the decision was made. The two small groups split up as soon as they reached the stairs, James and Lily hidden as well as they could under the Invisibility Cloak, the others heading toward a secret passage only a select few knew existed. Once they safely reached the edge of the Forbidden Forest, the most unlikely pair of allies Hogwarts had ever seen started to run, determined to put as much distance as possible between them and the wards preventing Apparition within the grounds.

“I know a place!” Lily exclaimed once they were far enough, and without further explanation took Potter’s hand and dragged him along to a location she barely remembered from her childhood. She had been there with her family, and her father had called it a hidden Scottish gem, an unspoiled corner of nature with a lake surrounded by woods and pine forests. Petunia hadn’t liked it very much, but if Lily had to choose a place to die prematurely, she was sure she would’ve named that one, even if it had no proper name and no one would ever find her body, except perhaps an unlucky hiker looking for a picnic spot before resuming their walk. One thing she hadn’t considered, though, was how high the odds of Apparating in the middle of a frozen lake, with the solid layer too thin to support their weight, were. Probably thanks to a miracle, or maybe driven by the desire to see their friends once again, both of them managed to return to the surface and crawl to shore, where they promptly started to look for a shelter that would allow them not to die of hibernation. The cottage, if it could be called that, since it was nothing more than a room with a roof, had seemed like a mirage, as well as the little firewood half devoured by woodworms they found inside. She had no idea of who owned the place, but judging by the furnishing and the abundance of fishing rods, it must’ve been a Muggle who hadn’t been around for a long, long time.

“What are you doing?” she squealed as she noticed James not only took off his shoes and socks, but was also working on removing his jacket and tie.

“The real question is what are you waiting for,” he replied, ridding himself of the now almost transparent fabric of his shirt, exposing a slim waist and sculpted abs. Embarrassed, Lily looked away, determined to focus on anything but the Seeker’s athletic body and the cold she felt was penetrating to her bones.

“Take everything off and look for a blanket,” he instructed when she was shaken by yet another unstoppable fit of shivers. “I’ll turn the other way, and check the bed for bugs.”

The cot she felt they would sleep on regardless of its condition appeared unfit to accommodate two people, but the pillow was thick, seemingly soft, and the quilt neatly folded on a nearby chair all too inviting to stay unused, but first they had other priorities, and they carried them out in silence, without ever meeting each other’s gazes, too focused on their respective pieces of underwear laying crumpled in the centre of the room to speak.

“We should hang the clothes,” Lily finally suggested once she sat down in front of the fireplace, as close as possible to the flames to dry the hair she had hastily braided. “We have nothing else to wear but those.”

“Be my guest if you please, but I don't intend to get up from this mattress,” he muttered, too focused on looking into an old mirror to be observing his reflection. “I casted some protection spells on the door and the window, so don’t try to open them.”

Lily nodded, and rather than face he most inevitable discussion, got to work, stubbornly ignoring the pair of hazel eyes following her every moment. It was a strange feeling, in such an absurd situation, to worry about what they would wear the next day and make sure that the hem of James’s trousers or the collar of her shirt didn’t get strange creases, but at the same time it was a cling to normality, to routine, although before she would’ve never imagined herself taking care of Potter’s clothes while only an ancient blanket that made her itch all over covered her nakedness.

“Now that you’ve proven what a good wife you would be, why don’t you lie down and try to sleep?” James asked when she had nothing left to tidy up and finally, after almost and hour, Lily gained the courage to meet his gaze. She couldn’t understand why he went with her, why he hadn’t pushed her toward Remus and Marlene, picking his best friend as his partner for this misfortune.

“I have no interest in lying naked with you,” she hissed, still she moved closer, tiredness and the prospect of warming her feet taking the decision for her. They found a comfortable position, with her back pressed firmly against his chest, suspiciously fast and although she couldn’t see his face, she was sure he hadn’t fallen asleep, the silence just full of questions they had no answer to.

“How distant are we from society?” he asked after a while, ever the pragmatist.

“Wizarding? Enough to be safe, if they haven’t tracked us. Muggle? A couple hours by foot,” she answered, snuggling even closer to enjoy more of his body heat.

“Excellent. Tomorrow at dawn we should set out, buy some basic necessities, and look for another quiet place where no one can find us,” he suggested, as if he was accustomed to running away from armed people trying to kill him.

“And with what money?” she inquired, perplexed. In their haste they had been unable to bring anything with them except what they already had on hand, and there was no reason to keep change in their pockets at Hogwarts, everything they might need provided free of charge by the staff.

��You don’t have to worry about that. Until we reach the others and things settle down, I’ll take care of you,” he declared, and Lily felt a faint buzzing in her ears, as if a wire had been disconnected in her brain and she suddenly found herself blushing at the idea of Potter being protective of her.

[moonlightdancer26]

who do you think would win a fistfight between:

Pomfresh & Severus

Ron & Harry & Hermione

Draco & Pansy

Moody & Greyback

Peter & Luna

Umbridge & Trelawney

Bellatrix & Sirius

Petunia & Narcissa

Slughorn & Flitwick

(hope you have fun with this!)

LMFAOO ILY ANON

Pomfresh & Severus

Idk who Pomfresh is but I’m assuming you mean Pomfrey, if so, Severus would woop her ancient ass.

Ron & Harry & Hermione

(I’m assuming you mean individually)

Harry would probably beat Hermione (saying probably because book!Mione was a menace 💀)

Ron would sweep Hermione off her feet (not like he did in canon tho) and throw her tiny body off the Astronomy tower.

Ron and Harry is a slightly tougher one, but I’m still certain Ron will win. He’s taller and more buff while Harry was generally described as scrawny, and he’s proven to have a lot of physical strength throughout the series. (Mans gave Malfoy a black eye when he was 11)

Draco & Pansy

Draco was definitely taller and stronger, since he, like Harry and Ron, was also a Quidditch player, which requires some strength and a lot of agility. So he’d deffo beat her.

Moody & Greyback

No contest whatsoever 💀💀 Moody was hella old, had an artificial leg, and very.. freakishly built. He was basically just an old man without his wand. However, Greyback, even in his “human” form, looked like a werewolf and had the same claws, teeth, and almost the same amount of strength. He doesn’t even need to use magic to tackle anyone, let alone an old man.

Peter & Luna

ooou, this is a good one. I’d say Peter, he was a rather small man and wasn’t in good shape (bro was a rat for over a decade, I’m surprised he even remembered how to walk), but I think he’d be able to overpower her in a physical fight. He has a metal arm too. She’d be much quicker than him, but I think his throws would be harder. He’d just sit on her tbh.

Umbridge & Trelawney

Omg 😭 this fight would be legendary, that’s for sure. But I think Trelawney would win, she’s probably taller and she’s in much better shape, so I’m assuming she’d win.

Bellatrix & Sirius

That would be such a hot fight 😩 tbh I genuinely don’t know who’d win, but if I had to choose I’d say Sirius.

My reasons are:

He was much more emotional and filled with rage, this could either be very useful or very disadvantageous in a physical fight. If your opponent is calm and collected, there’s a better chance they can make faster and more calculated moves while remaining stealthy. But if your opponent likes to taunt you and is easily distracted, then your anger and recklessness might prove to be useful, as it might catch them off-guard. That’s one of the reasons Molly managed to kill her in the first place, it was a wand-fight, yes, but Bellatrix still proved herself to be too easily-distracted. She likes to laugh and jeer at her opponents, which is a huge disadvantage in fights, most especially physical ones.

Bellatrix probably didn’t even know how to probably fist-fight someone, especially since it was a “filthy Muggle thing.” Wizards, even the non-prejudiced ones, mostly stuck with wand fights, so it would be ridiculous for a witch who thinks anyone who isn’t a pureblood is below her would know about how Muggles fight. She would most likely brush it off as an uncivilised Muggle practice. Sirius, on the other hand, saw learning about Muggle things as a method to rebel against his parents. And considering he and James’s ways of taunting Snape in their schooldays included a shit ton of magical violence (but violence nonetheless), I think it’s safe to say Sirius wasn’t unfamiliar with physical fights.

So I think Sirius would win. I considered this a close one because 1. not much was said about their physical abilities, and their overall abilities, for that matter (apart from their magical talent ofc) 2. they were both approximately the same height 3. they were both in Azkaban for 12 years [if only one of them went to Azkaban and the other lived an extra 12 years of their life being healthy and well-fed then the latter would have a huge advantage].

Petunia & Narcissa

Narcissa a baddie, she’d def win. /j

Ok but seriously, I don’t really know. But I think Petunia might actually win. Narcissa’s taller (and yummier) but, like her sister, she likely didn’t know much about physical fights. Because she was from a pureblood family and believed in pureblood supremacy, so that already gives Tuney an advantage. And even then, we see that Tuney isn’t opposed to physical violence, she legit tried to hit Harry’s head with a frying pan once, so who knows what other messed up shit she’s done to him throughout those 10 years. So, I’d say Tuney might win, but they likely have approximately the same amount of physical strength, which is what makes this fight a rather close one.

Slughorn & Flitwick

If they were to ever get into a fight it would definitely look like this:

that’s all I can say

[expectopatronum18]

Unpopular opinion☕☕

There's no doubt in the fact that the marauders era consists of the most flawed, complex and interesting characters in the entire series( excluding Dumbledore ofc). Sirius, Snape and Remus are arguably the most multi layered characters in the books. James and Regulus, despite being mentioned only for a few paragraphs, are remarkably well written keeping in mind that they are both dead before the series even starts. Each of these characters are layered, and have their flaws openly acknowledged and critiqued by those within the story, while simultaneously being loved for their good qualities and heroism. The books do such a beautiful job in showing this neutrality, which is miraculous considering they are all side characters and have limited amount of interaction with harry, who's perspective we get the story from.

And then there's Lily....

She might not be as complex as the rest, but she clearly isn't flawless either. She very nearly smiles while her supposed best friend is being assaulted in front of a huge crowd, and yet she's never called out on it by the characters in the story. Even harry, while in the stage of accepting that those he looks up to are flawed people (tho arguably he doesn't completely accomplish this), does not comment on this, choosing to believe that his mother had been decent as she had intervened. She also believes more in the rumors flying around the school over her supposed friend's personal account of the werewolf incident, which is again never addressed in the story ( in fairness we don't get harry's opinions on anything we see in the prince's tale; tho this is especially annoying with respect to lily as we don't get much from her in the first place).

We barely know anything about her apart from the fact that her sister hated her and that she was friends with the unpopular kid in school until he showed his true colours. Her character seems to solely exist to further more important, well rounded characters' narratives( ie snape's and petunia's). Everything we get about her (which are only positive attributes btw) is mere hearsay. Despite having a lot more scope, she's painted as this perfect character who's only job is to love her son (which, incidentally, James does as well, yet we do get to see characteristics outside this; we get to see both his good and bad qualities).

Which is why I don't really like the character of lily evans. Not because of anything she does per say( the others have done much worse stuff), but because of the way she's written. She's just this perfect mother whose flaws are never acknowledged or given any backstory for, thus making her an incredibly boring character and providing very little scope for a deeper analysis. And while I solely blame the author for this, it does nothing to make me care about or further my interest towards this character whatsoever.

[spillthebea]

🍬, 🍄 and tell me one controversial and unusual headcanon about Lily (I demand it!!)

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

about lily they asked sooo here we go

i am not sure if controversial but i think lily would have totally f destroyed muggle-style snape and peter if ever gotten the chance AND petunia for what they did to her family. just imagine your husband's best friend betraying you after years of friendship for what? BECAUSE COWARDICE? like nuh uh man, you're getting suffocating by lily's hands and the shape of her wedding ring is gonna be imprinted around your shitty neck for the rest of your afterlife; just imagine your ex-best friend you give chances and excuses for life until you couldn't anymore just became a loyal member (so f loyal and into the shit he had private meetings with Lord f Voldemort) and gives the crucial information that makes the Dark Lord haunts you and your family down and instead of saying "oh shit i fucked up", he begs the dark bitch to let you live and kill your husband and your son... NUH UH, Lily would have tackled Snape the SECOND he was into sight. And the guilt she must have felt in the afterlife because that was her Severus, her friend who helped her discover magic was not that you were insane... OMG JILY BEING SO FULL OF GUILT BECAUSE THEY TRUSTED THE WRONG PEOPLE (james with peter and lily with snape) BUT OKAY, THOSE WERE FRIENDS BUT YOUR OWN F SISTER?! NUUUH UHHH lily is getting down there with a metal baseball bat

bonus: i know harry said james would have not wanted for peter to get killed like that in the Shack but harry didn't f know his dad, I DO! JAMES HEXED PEOPLE JUST FOR THE FUN OF IT (he matured YES I KNOW AND I LOVE HIM AND HE BECAME SUCH A GOOD PERSON WHO F DIED AS A HERO, READY TO F FIGTH VOLDY WITH HIS HANDS JUST TO GIVE LILY AND HARRY TWO SECONDS MORE TO RUN! THAT'S MY MAN!) and after knowing peter had not only betrayed him, but also let sirius go in azkaban as jily's traitor and killer?! NUUUH UH MY MAN WAS THERE SPIRITUALLY WITH WOLFSTAR CHEERING THEM ON

peter, one of his best friends, betrays him, the love of his life dies, JAMES HIMSELF dies and their beautiful son becomes an orphan and gets abused just like sirius (J's f brother!!) and james is not there to protect him like he did with sirius and everything because peter was a f coward. James, who had old parents who surely had some issues in playing with him bc of their age, had wished to have more than one kids so they will have each other and to make kids at a young age so he will have all the time to play with them and teaching quidditch and telling stories of pranks and grow old with lily, admiring the red becoming white, had gotten none of it bc of *ihnales deeply* FUCKING SCABBBBBBBBERS!

so i know jily is that icons meme of "go mass murder people my love, i hold your flower"

(that was intense, i have too many jily feelings and i oop-)

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

... blank mind AHH!

ehm... (NOT A SHIP OFC!)

i love the idea of walburga letting herself go after sirius runs away. She sleeps in his room, and sits in his room and just exists in his room and wasn't there to tell regulus not to accept the Death Mark bc she was not there mentally. I think she is a mother (NOT A MUM! differences are there) who thought she was doing everything right following how her parents taught her aka family comes first, they are no individuals in that house, but she understands too late how by doing so she lost her first child, her Sirius. I think she loved Regulus but not enough to care about him after Sirius was gone because (in my mind) Sirius was Walurga's child and Regulus was Orion's child BUT! in orion's head Sirius too was his child so Reggie was not the first priority of both of his parents even tho (in my head, again) Reggie and Orion are as similar as Sirius and Walburga are to each other and that's the problem. Orion (FOLLOWING MY CHARACTERISATION) sees too much of himself in Regulus and wishes to have been more like Sirius and Walburga knows Reg is easier to control and order around but he does not have her spark, he is too similar to orion AGAIN and sirius never understood that he was their parents' fav child thinking only that regulus was so f perfect and quiet aka the perfect son and heir for a family like the Blacks.

... me always going back to the black family LOL

[moonystoast1971]

LONG ASS RANT POST ABOUT LILY EVANS (i promise i kept it as enjoyable as possible)

im mad about something (i know shocking wow)

ima preface this but saying im a jegulus/marylily shipper but i can still notice when some of u jily shippers r acting goofy and treating lily evans like a side character in her own romance like yall litterally treating her like a background character whos names forgotten half way thru tell me why when she was hc as this skinny perfect body girl/beauty standard she was beautiful and she knew it, she was confident and she used it, she knew james loved her endlessly and he waited on HER to love HIM but now shes plus sized so shes still beautiful but only in the eyes of james and snape, she doesnt beleive james loves her because shes plus sized which immediately makes her insecure? she spends the whole fic sad and not beleiving james actually loves her so she denies him purely on the basis of that but he spend the whole thing trying to teach her he does love her 🥺🥺🥺 bc thats what all non perfectly skinny women need/want is some man to come tell them their worth bc ofc it couldnt have been noticed bfr him 🥺🥺🥺

honestly grow tf up if u write this its just annoying at this point. also i hate how they all have her as some mindless girl and her only trait is "i have red hair and am the object of james' affection OH AND I CAN DO MATHS AND OCCASIOANLLY SAY SMART THINGS!!! 🤩🤩🤩" like honestly stfu why isnt she allowed as much depth as he is i aint even fw jily but if u gonna do it at least AT FUCKING LEAST do it justice yk?

can we just like talk about Lily for a second like can we appreciate how much depth as a character she has? like drop ur fav lily hc personally i love the hc that lily was raised on a farm I FUCKING LOVE IT AND I CANNOT EXPRESS WHY like it just fits so nicely and i love it BECAUSE LIKE IMAGINE YOUNG LILY AND YOUNG PETUNIA (when they still got on - sadly severus probably would've been there too {yeah so what i dont like him fight me}) PLAYING AROUND THE FARM TOGETHER also meaning lily was an early bird cause she was used to getting up early like taking care of the animals with her parents and shit (specifically her dad bc in my head her and him are very close and she feels like hes the only one in her family who really understands her fully - not to say her mother doesnt shes just closer with her dad so gets more chance to see that) SO THAT BEING SAID when james and sirius are confused about mainstrem muggle things lily is equally as lost as them on certain things but just keeps quiet bc aint no way she lookin as dumb as them 💀

[impishtubist]

Since we're talking about other characters in relation to Sirius...

Top three worst Sirius ships?

Oh, wow, you did come for chaos tonight. 😂

Sirius/OFC

Sirius/OFC

Sirius/OFC

Honorary mentions go to Sirius/Petunia (unless you are @greyeyedmonster-18 of course), Sirius/Snape, and Sirius/Peter.

I actually see Sirius as an absolutely unhinged, chaotic bisexual, so there really aren't too many ships that are "absolutely not" for me. You could probably convince me of Sirius/McGonagall and Sirius/Voldy, tbh. The man has range, okay.

[mydarlingdearestdead]

I’m thinking thoughts I want to share before my head explodes (And if I put them here there’s less chance I’ll be bashed for them as asks don’t usually get as much engagement as posts do but feel free to ignore me I just need somewhere to put them)

Young Severus Snape *was* the victim!!! And I mean like Sev in years 1-6. I mean like. He was ruthlessly bullied by some dickheads and it’s never shown that when he was younger (years 1-2) he provoked them/intentionally fucked with the marauders.

We’re told that James canonically hexed people “for fun” and Sev was just an easy target cause he was the quiet n weird kid. Sirius and Remus did tell Harry that James grew up but then again they’re very bias and Harry was sittin there thinking Jily happened cause James drugged her so ofc they’d tell him that

Back to Sev- he was abused as a child (and teen) by his alcoholic father and was a witness to constant dv. Ofc him as a tween was gonna be a bit of a weirdo and like. Yeah dropping that branch on Petunia was fucked but he was an isolated kid and likely didn’t realise HOW fucked it was

He started to go down hill bec of the people he was hanging out with (although I think there were a few other circumstances; like the war for example) and then he started slinging slurs around for funsies.

I do think that the one incident we see were he calls Lily a mud blood is more of a knee jerk reaction for him at that point. He’d gotten used to the fact that the people he was around did it and he did it that he almost forgot the meaning of it? That doesn’t excuse it but still. If you have a hundred or so kids around and they’re all taunting you, you’re gonna lash out somehow.

Then he joined the de and started bullying children ect ect.

I think the place where people come from with the Snape Vs Bambi thing is that they’re so stuck in the fact that they think everything is black or white. Yes, Severus was the victim when they were young, but as they got older and James matured (and Sev did not), Severus became the “bad guy”

People who take James’ side were likely popular kids (or they read the books first) and people who take Severus’ were likely the weird kids (or watched the movies first)

If this were one of those square graph thingys I’d be in lawful neutral (for once)

(side note; I can’t stand when people make Peter the bad guy cause it was Severus’ fault they were even in that situation in the first place. Although you could go further back and blame dumbly which is what I do)

this has been fun let’s do it again sometime 🫡

Twas fun

This is honestly the exact reason I ignore canon

Still will never get over that he was Nevilles worst fear at 13. This kid whose parents were tortured into insanity by death eaters, who's grandmother never believed him worthy, who got hexed by Hermione in first year for trying to be brave-

You get the point. Idk, that always stuck with me

[aeligsido]

Okay so since the vote is over 👀👀 imma gonna rambles about those ideas 👀👀👀👀

Just for the record u guys voted majorly for the one (!!!) idea where it's more vibes™ that a real plot bc i keep switching between absolute crack to something very serious to idk how many characters to include to how do I even finish this so. SO. UR NOT HELPING (I love u).

Rambles under the cut ✨

In order of votes, I'm giving you:

-

PoA, Sirius decides that kidnapping is a very good solution to protect™.

As I was saying earlier, this idea is a lot of vibes for little plot! So far I was just thinking "but what if Sirius goes for the protective kidnapping (of everyone he loves and thinks they can be in danger bc of Peter) rather than killing Peter?" and here we are.

Ofc he would take Harry and Remus (and I'm thinking Mary as well), but then I'm just. Do I go with some of my hcs and include Neville as well??? Do I go with my OCs kids for Mary and maybe Wolfstar and maybe also Daisy (Jily's daughter)????? Who knows, not me.

Same problem, I'm not sure of the tone, bc something fun and more cracky could work, but something heavy on the hurt/comfort would work so well too, so I don't know!!! Maybe I'll write different versions, idk. U guys are so very welcome to try and write this idea too lmao djdjjd the more the merrier!!!

-

Lily & Petunia girlboss gaslight gatekeep their way into the magical world.

Funnily enough I think it's the first fic idea I had when I started coming back into the fandom!

Obviously Evans sisters centric, where Lily refuses to go to Hogwarts without Petunia and Petunia really wants to go too, so they decide to gaslight everyone into believing Petunia is a witch too. It somehow works, and the fic (OS) would follow them through their years at Hogwarts and during the war — I actually have a good chunk of it planned!!

(also a f in the chat for Snape, who knows very well Petunia is a Muggle and keeps on trying to prove it and failing to do so.)

This fic would definitely have a lot of my HCs for the magical world and how magic works so I'm a bit excited to write it actually dijdjdjd

-

Cedric, Fleur & Viktor form the Harry Protection Squad bc they're Very Concerned.

GoF AU, as you can imagine, and an idea I'm very fond of. I'm having more and more ideas to add to this one lmao, so we'll see what I can keep in and all.

But yeah, the idea is basically Harry gaining three older siblings (kind of) and Ron and Hermione finally getting some more help keeping him alive. The Harry Protection Squad actually keeps on getting new members!! I think it would alternate between Cedric, Fleur, & Viktor POV, with them getting more and more worried the more they learn about the three precedent years lmao. (Cedric: I knew it was bad but I didn't think it was that bad!)

Also for funsies I think Percy (who joined the Harry Protection Squad upon getting his new jury duty) should adopt the stray dog he found in Hogsmeade. He keeps bringing him to the reunions and the dog loves Harry, for some reason.

-

The Potters and the Longbottoms are each other's Secret Keepers.

So it was late at night and I was thinking "what if one of the Potters was the Longbottoms' Secret Keeper, and one of the Longbottoms was the Potters' Secret Keeper? How can Voldemort find them when they protect each other?" so now that's basically the whole idea!

So now Lily gets the idea after having insomnia, wakes up James to tell him, and they then invade the Longbottoms' house to share the idea with them, and they all agree on it. I go with the HC that the couples are close friends, with Alice being Harry's godmother and Lily Neville's godmother, and Alice and James knowing each other since they were kids (= Alice a toddler and James a baby). Anyways, Sirius freaks out a bit, Peter suddenly disappears, Voldemort is very unsuccessful in trying to get them, etc.

It's one of those ideas I have well-planned except for the end lmao, bc I'm not sure where to end it exactly.

-

rumor says that Voldemort killed the youngest Black, the others will get revenge.

This one is just really crack lmao.

Mostly, Regulus dies, rumor says Voldemort killed him, so Bellatrix, Andromeda, Narcissa, & Sirius all decide to get revenge and kill Voldemort. They also don't consult each other about it so now they're fighting over which one of them actually killed Voldemort. (Well, Bellatrix and Sirius fight over it, mostly.)

I wrote tiny bits and pieces of it, so I'll try to finish it soon!! It's not supposed to be a big thing, unlike some others of my ideas in this list lmao.

-

PoA, a bored Ron sending Howlers to Sirius Black.

Aka this idea, bc i love it and it makes me laugh. It feels like something Ron would do (and Hermione would help him with).

I would very much put it in the humor/crack treated seriously category, but I'm not exactly sure where to go from there. I have a few ideas about Sirius answering Ron's Howlers with his own where he's just laughing bc he thinks it's hilarious, or just sending him a "hey I wanna kill your rat" which confuse everyone, but idk. We'll see!!

-

PoA, Sirius helps Neville after the passwords incident.

So, remember how Crookshanks stole the paper where Neville wrote down the passwords and Sirius used it to enter the Tower, and after that Neville was punished by McGonagall and he couldn't get the password anymore and had to stay out of the Tower until someone came to get him in?

The idea is that Sirius-as-Padfoot roams a bit around the castle in case Peter is doing the same, and he ends up finding Neville outside the Tower at night, kind of trying to sleep here bc no one let him in. Sirius gets worried and decides to help him out (mainly to find a nice hideout to sleep if it happens again).

A lot of it is vibes bc i thought Sirius and Neville bonding would be very nice and I would like to see it, so. Yeah. Eijdjd.

-

scene: BDoM; enter stage left: a very pissed off Alice & Frank Longbottom.

A Sirius Lives AU where the fight at the Department of Mystery gets interrupted by Alice & Frank, as it says in the title!

I have the idea mainly planned out, I'm just not sure where to end it kdjdjkd.

-

Thanks for reading my ramblings ✨ don't hesitate to tell me what you think of it!!

[t1oui]

just had an idea for an addition to this au i made featuring petunia and dudley because i actually think about those two a lot

imagine lily, pandora, and mary’s wedding. barty is the officiant, 8-year-old harry is the ring-bearer, and 7-year-old luna the flower girl. her baby blue dress matches harry’s suit.

sirius, remus, james, marlene, and peter stand as part of mary and lily’s party while pandora’s consists of regulus, evan, dorcas, and xenophilius.

pandora is walked down the aisle by evan, mary by regulus, and lily by james. (mary and regulus are best friends and you cannot tell me otherwise).

when i say that petunia and dudley are featured, i just mean they’re there. lily invited petunia to the wedding and when vernon got pissy about it, petunia and dudley left him behind and went on their own.

for the dances, lily ofc dances with pandora and mary. james, harry, and regulus dance with each other. barty and evan dance with luna until she runs off to dance with xeno. marlene and dorcas dance together, same for sirius and remus. when remus, the old man he is, gets too sore to keep going, sirius dances with peter instead. petunia dances with dudley until lily shows up and asks to dance with her sister, and when that happens, it’s every man for himself.

james and regulus dance with mary. pandora dances with xeno. marlene somehow ends up on frank longbottom’s shoulders and alice has somehow convinced narcissa to give her a piggy-back ride.

it’s a good night, and it’s the mark of a new beginning for the evans family.

[aithusarosekiller]

Pandalily wedding hcs because I love them:

-They got married in a forest and decorated it to look like the most beautiful angelic place possible

- Pandora made Reg plait flowers into her hair

- Euphemia helped Lily get dressed because her parents were running late. Neither of them minded at all, Lily was practically a daughter to her anyway.

- Lily panicked A LOT and ended up sobbing into Sirius’ arms because she was scared insides would change her mind at the last minute, Sirius didn’t know how to comfort people so had to slowly peel her off and let Pete and Mary deal with it (bc Pete, Mary and Lily are an iconic friend trio)

- They had their two cats Minnie and Stevie were flower girls (Sirius was jealous because he wanted to do it as Padfoot)

- Petunia was there, she said she would never go but later got in though with Pandora to ask if Lily would want her there and they secretly arranged for her to go as a nice surprise. She took the best wedding gifts and cried at the reception.

- Minerva was there too because I fucking said so. She was so proud that two of the smartest students she’d seen in decades were getting married

- Their first dance was to Love Story. It just was.

- Marlene cried. So did Barty. They both deny it because ‘nobody cries at weddings’ but Dorcas and Evan had to pass them tissues the whole time.

- Regulus and James were in charge of setting up booby traps specifically designed to throw Snape miles into the distance if he tried to get in. He did. They worked.

- They didn’t exchange rings. They did hand fasting because Pandora is a Celtic Pagan (irish ofc) and Lily is Hellenic Pagan

- James got drunk at the reception, turned into a stag and forgot how to turn back.

- Due to their agreement, Pandora made sure there was time for Petunia to have a speech but she didn’t think she had been a good enough sister to deserve it so she gave it to Sirius instead. Luckily enough, Sirius had a speech already because he was planning to interrupt with it anyway so it worked out well.

- Lily ended up dancing with Remus bc besties. Pandora had to physically restrain Sirius.

- Their dresses were both light and had flowers stitched into the fabric. Lily’s was lilac and Pandora’s was light yellow.

- There was no dress code

- Their honeymoon was in the Scottish highlands