#pestilence you have better things to do what the fuck is this

[beastsovrevelation]

In all the Good Omens stories I'm currently working on, the child Crowley eventually ends up with (having it, not romantically involved with a child) is a girl. He strikes me as a girl dad (and mom), really. Yes, imagining Crowley as a parent at all is wild, but that's a different can of worms.

Thing is, I have to come up with a story where Crowley has a son named Aleister. You... Understand why, don't you?.. Right.

It could be Fem!Crowley x Hastur (I feel it would be Hastur's idea), or Crowley x Fem!Reader (definitely Reader's idea).

I think, this may open some doors for comedy? Reader (or Fem!Crowley) could have a mental breakdown, fearing a snake may slither out of her when time comes. Though, admittedly, a snake would likely cause less discomfort than a human.

...If the previous paragraph made you think of a certain song, I like you.

Hell, even if the child is born in human form, it might shapeshift, no? I guess, you could pretend you're taking your pet snake out in a stroller (I bet there are reptile owners that insane in reality). Only, when the "pet snake" starts crying or babbling, you'd have a real problem, because... Reptiles don't do that. There wouldn't be any religious people around, hopefully.

Damn, this made me laugh. I'm sitting at my desk, drinking my coffee, laughing like a maniac. Let's be serious, I'm probably incapable of writing comedy, just angst, gore... Romance, but not comedy.

Just some thoughts while I ✨procastrinate✨.

[txttletale]

h… how is any of that racist

assuming that you mean my posts about the 5e monster manual entry for orcs and how insanely racist it is--by happy coincidence i have a bunch of sources about this strewn haphazardly across my browser so i'm happy to answer this.

so we will start with this. the words 'tribe' and 'chief' are deeply, deeply racialised. they have been used throughout colonial (and well into modern and present-day!) history to describe groups of indigenous peoples across the world—with implications of 'primitive' people and societies within the Western myth of linear societal progress. europeans have nations and kings--africans and native americans have tribes and chiefs. the 'tribe' is not a neutral concept--it is a concept that was constructed by europeans in positions of global military domination over a century to justify a narrative about the linear progress of civilization to justify domination [1][2]. of course, it's not just the use of the words 'tribe' or 'chief' but their deployment here in the context of what is obviously supposed to be a 'primitive' method of of government--the 'orcish tribe' is inherently violence, a 'savage' society entirely built on "bloodlust" and "fear"

regis stella puts it much better than i could in this account of an early 20th-century travel memoir in Imagining the Other: The Representation of the Papua New Guinean Subject

while we're on this point i figure i'll add all the other language around 'savagery', 'inherent bloodlust' and so on in the monster manual here to further illustrate my point: it's all quite rote and repeats itself a lot.

now, wait, waiiiit, wait a second. wait a moment. hold up what was that last thing

oh thats not good. having to explain why this is racist feels a little like having to explain why its bad to hit people with hammers but i'll do it anyway: the comparison of real-life 'tribes' of people to insects, vermin, and pestilences is a very real element of genocidal rhetoric--from the holocaust [3] to the rwandan genocide [4]. what is the implied correct societal responose to a tribe that is 'like a plague?'

finally, this is the part that made me say "holy fucking shit this is in the 5th edition monster manual?" because it is pure undiluted gygaxian eugenics shit. first of all, the narrative of the ever-swelling horde, the indigenous or Asian people as an undiffernetiated mass of amorphous Other, is an old one and one that's been used to devalue the lives of people of colour and justify violence against 'the horde'. but the part that's absolutely jaw-dropping is the use of the tropes of reproductive racism--the narrative of Black and indigenous hyperfecundity is also an established racist trope, one which was instrumental in the forced sterilisation of Black and Native women in the USA [5] and now manifests itself in the "great replacement" demographic anxieties of modern racism [6] -- think of White Genocide conspiracy theories and the 14 Words. and of course that is to say nothing of the fact that is made very clear and reiterated (and mechanicised in the form of the Half-Orc player race!) that WotC wants to be very clear about how much orcs "readily crossbreed with other races". this is miscegenation anxiety, plain and simple--somethign else stella talks about.

so yeah! hopefully nobody will ever ask me this fucking question again! (this is just across two fucking pages of the monster manual by the way don’t get me started on the shit that’s in the other books! god forbid i even think about campaign modules!!)

[bluelizard100]

Have y’all ever read The Four Horsemen series by Laura Thalassa?

What if… four horsemen of the apocalypse 141‼️ Also NSFW warning and spoilers for the Four Horsemen Series!

-First we got Pestilence. I went back and forth with this one because I wasn’t sure who would fit best— Soap or Gaz. I couldn’t decide who would be Pestilence and who would be Famine, but I’ve decided that Pestilence goes to Gaz.

Pestilence makes it very clear in his book that he does NOT enjoy what he does. He doesn’t like spreading the plague, watching people suffer as he infects city after city— he only does it because those are his orders.

I feel like for those reasons Pestilence fits Gaz the best. “Where do we draw the line?” And him being so rattled after Price threw that dude with the bomb strapped to his chest over a ledge to save the both of them (idk I never played the games 🫥) falls right in line with Pestilence.

Pestilence holds a grudge against Sara, the FMC, for almost the entire book, but eventually falls for her (duh). He finds intimacy to be sacred and fights himself a lot in the book— there is SO much tension between them. Idk, I feel like that fits Gaz the best

(Also Pestilence is really pretty and so is Gaz LMAO)

I’d like to point out that I don’t really think Pestilence is a good fit for Gaz otherwise. If I’m being honest, I think Ghost fits the Pestilence vibe the best, and that if Pestilence and Death swapped personalities then it would be a better match.

-Now we have War. War obviously goes to Price. When war finds Miriam, he snatches her up onto his horse and takes her back to camp. He calls her wife, leads an army, just commands authority in general but goes back to being gentle (as gentle as you can be when you’re a horseman of the apocalypse) with Miriam.

War also teases a lot, whether it’s about Miriam always finding her way into his little portion of the bed or about how all she’s gotta do is ask and he’ll make her feel good. He won’t actually fuck her until she surrenders to him (surrender meaning accept the fact that she’s his fated wife, but he’ll drive her crazy with his fingers and tongue.

I feel like that’s such a Price thing to do. He’ll def take care of his little wife but he’s not gonna give her what she wants until she gives in, and he’ll wait patiently.

-Famine! Yay! Famine is a sassy little fucker and he really, really does not like people. Now I really thought Gaz would fit Famine because Famine is also really pretty and like, a plant king! But he wants to wipe out humanity and enjoys watching people suffer because of what humans did to him, so I decided Soap can be Famine.

Famine holds a special spot in his immortal heart for Ana because she saved him after he escaped where he was being held prisoner and tortured.

When Ana and Famine meet years after, Famine is an arrogant prick and has an entourage of men do his dirty work for him. He takes the biggest house he can, lets people give him offerings in hopes that they’ll be spared, and then has his men kill them! I feel like Soap matches the spoiled vibes, and he probably enjoys taking out his enemies (which, in the book, all of humanity is Famine’s enemy so it’s okay lol).

He mistakenly has Ana killed when she goes to meet him with her brothel madam cuz he doesn’t recognize her, but Ana magically survives and hunts him down. Famine’s like “well I wouldn’t have killed you if you would’ve said something” and then kinda keeps Ana as his prisoner sorta but he’s kinda nice to her.

He’s also kinda bad at taking care of her which just kinda feels like a Soap thing. Like you can’t tell me that dude didn’t forget about a few childhood pets when he was a kid.

Also I think famine is the freakiest of the horsemen— he grows vines to use as bondage lmao you can’t tell me Soap wouldn’t do that if he also had plant magic.

But in all seriousness, I feel like Soap would be the most likely to drag a woman around with him while he ended all of humanity because he liked her. I mean, he did give her the chance to go on her own way, and she was the one who came to him the second time… that’s gotta mean something, right?

-Last but not least, Death. Now like I said earlier, I feel like Death would fit Ghost the best if he swapped personalities with Pestilence, but since we can’t do that then this is the best I’ve got.

Death literally just rides his horse through cities and everyone just drops dead. Poof, snap, whatever— they’re dead just like that. That’s all Ghost, dude: “If you see him, you’re already dead.”

Everyone except for Lazarus!

When Death realizes she doesn’t die from his magic, he concludes that she’s his fated wife and he does the only logical thing— he snaps her neck! There’s no way that isn’t a Ghost thing to do. Like, his mission is to cleanse the earth of people so She can heal again, and he knows that this woman will only get in the way of doing that, so he just kills her.

Lazarus (again) comes back to life, and then they spend a long ass time hunting each other down and killing each other. So romantic! But eventually Death decides that the next time they meet, he’s taking her with him and she doesn’t have a choice.

Death is also abhorrent at taking care of humans. He doesn’t know how they work. Ghost probably barely takes care of himself, so how would he take care of another person?

Now here’s where things kinda get tricky. I thought that Gaz would fit Death’s personality better because Death cares about Lazarus from the get-go despite killing her all the time. He doesn’t want her to suffer, and with humanity, they don’t suffer either. They just die.

But if you look past the whole scary military operator part of Ghost and look to the Simon (stupid and cliche I know)— the caring thing really does fit.

Once he gets the hang of taking care of a person, Death finds the nicest, biggest house in every city he travels in for Lazarus to stay in, and raises an army of skeletons to cook and take care of them. He pampers the fuck out of his wifey. Now, Death also finds intimacy sacred, which I think also fits Ghost. I don’t think Ghost is realistically the type to have a one night stand with any random person. He’d probably rather be vulnerable with someone he’s familiar with.

When Death does finally get intimate with Lazarus, he doesn’t wanna stop lmao he enjoys it very much. There’s one scene in the book where they fuck in the air LMAO.

I think Gaz would fit Death because he isn’t really all that gruff like Ghost is, but I still think they both fit. Death has a mission and he does everything in his power to complete it, even with his lady trying her hardest to stop him. Ultimately, when I was just thinking this up, I decided Ghost would be Death cuz the cover art of the novel is a skull lol.

Alright that concludes my rambling, sorry if this didn’t make any sense! I did not edit it! Also feel free to add on if you have any thoughts and if you haven’t read The Four Horsemen series you definitely should, it’s fucking amazing.

[lonelinessmademecrazy]

You haven't posted about the post-dream quotes in a while. Are there any interesting new ones?

I gotcha, dream quotes comin right up

8/21/24

Lasagna sounds good

8/22/24

First day of class. Woooooo

8/25/24

Broccoli is the nastiest fucking thing I’ve ever eaten. Why on god’s green earth did I eat that. Ugh

8/26/24

I’ll eat anything that moves, at this point. God, starvation hurts.

8/27/24

Hide the box. Keep it hidden.

8/29/24

Go fuck yourself you purple-blooded cunt.

9/1/24

Why is literature so difficult to understand? What do you MEAN there’s subtext???

9/2/24

Touch me again and I’ll tear out your jugular with my throat.

No I’m not flirting with you, weirdo.

9/3/24

Cafeteria food is fucking disgusting, I really should keep away.

9/4/24

This degree better be useful in the future.

9/6/24

Cómo te llamas??

9/8/24

Why me? Why do I have to be this way?

9/10/24

Journal entries depicting my childhood. They saw too much

9/11/24

Why did I pick an 8am class

9/13/24

Walking weapon, ticking time-bomb, persistent pestilence

9/14/24

I should bury it. Or burn it. Or throw it into the woods. Or the oceans. Put it far, far away from my sight.

9/15/24

It’s so sweet to me. Gifting me whatever I’d want, showering me in affection. Too bad it doesn’t have a body

9/16/24

I miss him. The old him. The way it was before my mistake.

[epicaandk0]

If the Bishops were to switch domains for example if they could switch their crowns and wear them and rule over those domains which which domain do you think each Bishop is best suited for

Nice Icon

This ask took me a while cause it got my brain a going. I like the bishops and their domains as they are rn and I think most of them would agree (minus maybe Narinder). But I was thinking if they were to swap crowns what would that look like?

So here's what I did: Narinder -> Knowledge (Purple Crown) Leshy -> Pestilence (Blue Crown) Shamura -> Death (Red Crown) Kallamar -> Famine (Yellow Crown) Heket -> Choas (Green)

Explanation under read more:

Kallamar - Famine. While pestilence fits the cowardly squid amazingly I liked the yellow crown for him because... well... sushi. Plus disease can be a scary thing, feast and hunger are, in some ways, less frightening purely because its easier to understand. Thus having Kallamar be famine works imo.

Heket - Chaos. This one is a little strange but hear me out. We know Heket takes on more of a big sister roll in the family despite being the 2nd youngest canonically. Heket def seems like the kind of person to pull pranks on her siblings but also be fiercely defensive should you fuck with her kin. That's why I think she fits chaos. "No one fucks with my family but me, heretic!"

Shamura - Death. Ohohohoho I adore the idea of Shamura being god of death. Life and death comes before all, death being a guardian of the afterlife, the creepy but loving big sibling. It works so well. Also with Shamura being death the resurrection ritual would be a hell of a no-go.

Leshy - Pestilence. Does Leshy work better as Chaos? Yes. Do I fully believe disease would be a little shit who fucks shit up on purpose? Also yes. Don't like blue crown Leshy? That's fine. He'll just give you non stop hiccups for a month.

Narinder - Knowledge. Again Narinder with the knowledge/wisdom/war domain works really well in my mind. Unlike Shamura Narinder would dive head first into dangerous/forbidden knowledge, consequences be damned. Could also be interesting if he was still the bishop betrayed, accidentally fucked around too much and found out.

[talesfromsiteredacted]

Helpful Hints For New Hires: Or... The Bright List Exists For A Reason, Folks!

It has come to the attention of Site Command that there is some confusion among the new hires. The following are tips to help you avoid Keter Duty, Bright Duty, or worse... death.

The Foundation motto is not "Fuck War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death; we have 076-2, 106, 049, and 682!" It is "Secure, Contain, Protect." As in, to Secure continued employment and survival, Contain your stupidity and help Protect your fellow workers.

Anyone caught passing out "cups of orgasm" from 294 will be demoted to D-Class and used in 682 testing. It's on the Bright List for a reason.

Do not get between Clef, his cowboy hat, his ukulele collection, or his shotguns. Ask any surviving Chaos Insurgency agent who made this mistake.

If it's on the Bright List, don't. If it seems like it should be on the Bright List, don't.

Dr. Glass is not made of silica. That's the Sentient Prism you're thinking of.

It is ill advised to try to bribe Site Command for better assignments. That being said, the wheels of the Foundation turn on rivers of coffee. It's not a bribe if it's an essential resource.

Dr. Iceberg is starting to resent the number of people asking him to "make me a snow cone". He has no known cryomancy abilities. Try 343.

Dr. Rights and Dr. Bright are not to be left unsupervised during their shifts. Especially if together. No, Dr. Clef does not count.

No one is to lick the anomalies unless instructed to.

No one is to allow the anomalies to lick them.

There is no SCP Inquisition. There never was an SCP Inquisition. That's the Ethics Committee you're thinking of, and you do not want to deal with them.

Any "Site Spirit Day" ideas must be run by Site Command. Dr. Bright is not allowed to suggest "Spirit Day" ideas.

Whomever is roasting marshmallows on the Man on Fire, either share the s'mores or cut it out.

Playing "Patticake" with 049 is a death sentence. Stop telling D-Class that he likes it.

Trying to hug 076-2 is also a death sentence. What is wrong with you?

Hugging 999 is not only perfectly safe, it's encouraged. He loves hugs, and everybody loves the cute little goey blob of joy.

Also, hugging 073 is allowed, provided he's willing. And no one involved is wearing organic fabric.

Hugging 682 is right out. Seriously, D-9847, are you that eager to die?

No. More. 294. Plushie. Shenanigans! The last time someone moved either the Scorpion or Sub-Zero plushies the damn thing sulked for three days.

Site and Foundation Protocols exist for damn good reasons. Consider that before breaking them.

There is no need to stampede the Site Cafeteria on Pizza Day. There's more than enough to go around.

Despite his name and mechanical demeanor, Dr. Gears is in no way infected by the Clockwork Virus, nor a member of the Church of the Broken God. Nor is he an android. Or a Terminator. And Dr. Bright and Dr. Clef are to stop spreading these rumors.

"Talk like a Jedi Day" is not a thing. Nor will it ever be. And the next person who mentions "Talk Like a Pirate Day" will be used for MTF high caliber target practice.

Do not encourage Dr. Bright. It never ends well.

Do not encourage Dr. Clef in his prank war with Dr. Bright.

Do not let Dr. Clef within 200 meters of Dr. Bright without at least 2 MTF teams, a Site Commander, two straight jackets, a fire hose ready to go, and a very large net. Yes, you need all that. Best not to ask why.

When 076-2 or 682 breach, RUN. DO NOT ENGAGE THEM. Let MTF handle it.

Do not trust 035. Just... don't.

If you insist on bringing baked goods into the office, bring enough to share.

If it seems dangerous, it's extremely dangerous. If it seems safe, it's probably not. Item Classes are not power levels, just how hard it is to keep the item here. Remember and act accordingly.

[the-horsemen-ride]

👻????

👻- For something that scares or disturbs them, but they refuse to tell anyone

War: ... what is with you guys and tryin' to get into all our business? Famine: Well, that's the point of all of this ask blog stuff. It builds credibility! Authenticity and that stuff! I think. And you seemed pretty okay with spilling everythin- War: Okay, okay, I get it. But I mean, didn't we- Famine: War. C'mon, we're all making fools of ourselves, not just you. War: Fine. ... Conquest: Needles. There. Got it over with. War: You already said that. Conquest: No, you said that. Now it's from the source. Pestilence: I second War on this. This- this one sounds like you've got some...plans. Do we have to? Did, uh...did we sign something? What were on those papers?

Famine shrugs.

Famine: Should've read 'em! Pestilence: ...hm... well, responsibility still stands... Deeper than that? Too repressed to uh, root out. Uhm. Maybe. Going mainstream. A-and tight spaces, claustrophobic. And being left alone. Forgotten maybe. Ironic...

Conquest: mhm. Pestilence: but... uh... I think everyone feels that way. Don't wanna be cooped up all alone, want people to think of me, include me, uh, yeah. Not like I care much about legacy but while I'm still here I hope people, uh care! Yeah. Not about any spotlight just, being not... chopped liver. A mostly collective nod. If not agreement then just comprehension.

Famine: I don't want to get too deep if I can help it, so I'll admit when I first met Headless, the guy put me off a little. I think he was still mad about the whole being dead thing back then. And I guess... nevermind. War: What? Famine: It's silly. Conquest: No, go on. Pestilence: We won't laugh at you that hard. Famine:... The door. ...

Pestilence: What, this one? Famine: No, no... the one Conquest came from. Death: The one upstairs. Famine: Yeah. It's just... it weirds me out how it...does that. And... sometimes I worry about what's going down on the other side. I mean if Conquest is the way he is- Conquest: What does that mean? Famine: Well, you're dead. And amnesiac, and you've got stigmata and you don't act like War all that much. And everyone else- Adversary and...just...what happened? Conquest:...whatever did is in the past now. Just got to hope it doesn't come back around. As long as you don't go opening that door you'll be fine, though. Famine: Well what if they aren't? Conquest: Who? Famine: Mirror-me. And... I haven't heard from Grust... ... Conquest: That's the...cat one, right? Famine: Mhm. I gotta find out if I ever reached him... I mean, all these other people go... go dark? The ones not in our...little circle. Sometimes we just don't hear from them in a while but... I have a hunch something's not right. Conquest: Probably. ... War and Death, to each other: You've been quiet. ... War: You go first. Death: No, I insist. War: Like it's some sort of fucking favor? Death: You'll feel better if it's out of the way. War: You never said what you were scared of the first time around. Death: Actually, if you weren't so caught up in bashing Connie's face into the cold hard ground, you would've caught that I said, well, being on the receiving end of such brutality. War:You're just being sarcastic an' flattering me. Death: Fine, I'll go first. War: good- Death: If you give me half of your next paycheck. War:... you're fucking with me. You don't even use the fucking money you get. Death: I do. Eventually. War: You just hoard it like some- it's just a question- fuck it, five bucks. You don't need half. Take it or leave it. Death:... Ten. War: Fine. Whatever. Death: Okay... I'll be honest, I... He hesitates, for a moment. Death: ...fear my own end. And yours, too. All of you. I don't want to get into it anymore than that. ... Death: Ironic, yes, but... ... Death: I'll stop. I don't want to put a damper on anything. Famine: Bit too late for that. Death: Mhm. ...

War: ... Well then. I... I'm not topping that. Good on you. Ditto, maybe.But... I'll agree with Famine here. I mean, less of the door in general and just what's come of it. Who, actually.

...

Conquest: Really. You're still on about this?

War: I do not like looking at my own corpse! And I don't like that it's- well, that you don't even act like me!

Conquest: And how do you think I feel? I get to see that you've got a pulse and you barely use it for any good.

War: As if you do anything with your lack-

Death pushes them apart.

Death: Boys, enough. You can talk about this all without going for each other's throats... again

Embarrassed, the two compose themselves...mostly.

Conquest: Fine, fine, sorry. But for all the things you're scared of-

Death: Conquest-

War: You think I'm some sorta coward?

Death: War.

Conquest: Maybe I do. I wouldn't be the only one.

War: Then what does that make you, huh?

Death: I said eno̵u̸͝gḧ̶͓́. I shouldn't have to talk to you like you're kids. We've got a reputation to hold up and you're not making it any better if you act like this.

...

Conquest: You... you're right. I'm sorry.

War says nothing. It's quite quiet now, actually.

[shadowmaat]

Enough already

I see we've reached the point in the Eye Ay Discourse where we're now vilifying Neil Gaiman and trying to drive him off the internet/make him commit suicide. What a great look that is, gang. /facepalm

Oh, but it isn't ACTUALLY about whether or not he supports the Eye Ay, of course. No, it's about that cultish obsession with sex and "wrong" depictions of it. That means that attacking him is the only MORALLY PURE answer.

Great gods above and below, some of you people are an honest menace to society. Head empty, only hate.

Neil isn't perfect and has expressed some troubling views in the past, but A) "Past" isn't necessarily "Present" and B) that still doesn't mean you should tell him to kill himself you absolute fucking monsters.

Some of you REALLY need to get it through your terroristic little minds that pedophilia (CSEM) does not include works of fiction. The dictionary definition doesn't include fiction. The legal definition (at least in the US where most of you fearmongers live) doesn't include fiction. Writing and drawing stuff that makes you personally uncomfortable is NOT ILLEGAL and sure as fuck shouldn't be used as some kind of moral judgement on the creator's personality. Some of y'all just need to spew hatred and lies to make yourselves feel better.

And SPEAKING of legal definitions, it might behoove a few people to actually READ and COMPREHEND the judge's ruling on the Eye Ay case. Because if you read through it you'll see that the Eye Ay was clearly and blatantly in the wrong. There's no question of it and some of the excuses/reasonings they tried to use in their defense were frankly ridiculous and hold no basis in the legal reality of the world. And given that one "reason" they gave is that copying books to digital is an example of Fair Use, we should be damn glad the judge shot that nonsense down. That's a whole damn can of graboids that shouldn't be loosed upon the world.

If you can't accept that an organization can perform a vital and necessary service and still be wrong about some things, that's on you and your rabid idolization of a black-and-white universe. The Eye Ay fucked up and fucked up big. And it's a genuine shame because they do indeed accomplish a lot of good and vital things, but this wasn't one of them.

TECHNICALLY even the one-to-one loaning ratio was illegal (and clearly so according to law) but I think everyone was willing to look the other way until they decided to strip that away and allow unlimited downloads regardless of number of copies "owned." That made it a serious enough issue that Big Pub, who are a festering nest of diseased vipers and pestilence, felt a need to step in. Which is how we wound up where we are, with a good nonprofit having to pay for their mistake and the internet rallying to crucify an author who was previously considered one of our own. The fact that John Green's name is being used as a rallying cry to incite the internet mob is nothing but horrifying. Some of you have no shame and no moral backbone.

You're allowed to think the Eye Ay should be able to continue loaning endless copies of books. Just stop pretending that it's legally permissible.

You're allowed to think that people who write sexually explicit stories involving children, unwilling participants, animals, etc. are wrong to do so. Just stop pretending that fiction is illegal.

I'd also advise you to reconsider the idea that people who write about "sick" things must enjoy/perform "sick" things themselves. Maybe even pay attention to how those kind of "arguments" are also being used to describe LGBT+ and CRT content by nationalist/religious extremists. Are those really the kind of people (and beliefs) you want others to associate you with? Are they the kind of people you want to be? Clearly, if you want to drive someone to their death, you are.

Shameful. Stay the hell away from me.

[mlobsters]

supernatural s6e19 mommy dearest (w. adam glass)

well my whole eve/victoria pedretti mind connection (also this afternoon was crying for a good 20 minutes while painting and rewatching the haunting of hill house) this disabling the exit to the bar and then everyone trying to eat each other reminds me of that church scene in midnight mass (was she even in that one? lol) but way less emotionally fraught. and shorter. adds to the list of gif comparatives of various stuff with spn that i may never get around to because making gifs is tedious work i don't particularly enjoy.

i think i'm delighted to hear licensed music because it's so infrequent now and it's a lot more fun than the score 😬

when i was a kid, i helped my dad fill shotgun shells using something like this (primarily for shooting skeet at a range though he also hunted)

anyway. dean is using a literal tablespoon to put the phoenix's ashes in these special shells apparently. fear not, a well used shotgun shell reloader in the back there (lee load-all reloader only $79.99 at cabela's!)

DEAN Why has it always got to be me that makes the call, huh? It's not like Cas lives in my ass. The dude's busy. (Cas appears behind him. Dean turns around, surprised) Cas, get out of my ass!

CAS I was never in your–

wait hold up is this like that weird wording that i talked about before, out of your ass...

okay this must be a wording thing because they had pestilence use the same and i was very perplexed by the phrasing. SHERIFF MILLS I lose my job over this, I am taking it out of your ass! s5e21 DR. GREEN You mean my brothers. What they did to my brothers. No. The only reasonable thing to do here is to…take it out of their healthy young asses!

that's so strange. anyway. woo they can use more gay innuendo jokes because they have a non-brother dude who we're saying/joking/but actually saying has Feelings for dean to be on the receiving end (har har) 😑

LENORE I remember. Your hunter friend almost killed me.

SAM Well if it makes you feel any better, uh, he turned into a vampire and I chopped his head off.

DEAN Yeah. With razor wire. Wicked.

dean's so proud

okay so thank fuck they didn't make sam kill another pretty lady that was a monster. we don't need madison 2.0.

CAS We needed to move this along.

mr funny again

🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️

CAS Something in this town, is, uh, it's affecting me. I assume it's Eve.

DEAN So wait, Mom's making you limp?

CAS Figuratively, yes.

DEAN How?

CAS I don't know, but she is.

DEAN Well, that's great, because without your power, you're basically just a baby in a trenchcoat.

SAM I think you hurt his feelings.

don't be an asshole, dean. this is why i called cas a work friend :p

my dad travelled a ton for work when i was a kid so he always had a company car. one of them was a chevy caprice classic like this one, but white.

well the baby in the trench coat decapitated someone. good enough for you, dean?

reflection in the glass just reminding me of how model-pretty jensen's face is

are the kids gonna be monsters and try to eat sam and dean. okay the oldest "kid" has visible stubble and is 24. baby face and short stature and no pesky child actor rules

CAS We need to find Eve now.

DEAN Yeah. Go. Me and Sam just gotta make a milk run.

CAS We need your help here.

DEAN Hold your water. We'll be back in a few.

CAS Dean, Dean. Millions of lives are at stakes here, not just two. Stay focused.

my face at the "stay focused": 😒 like being told to relax

DEAN Are you kidding?

CAS There's a greater purpose here.

DEAN You know what, I-I'm getting a little sick and tired of the greater purposes, okay? I think what I'd like to do now is save a couple of kids. If you don't mind. We'll catch up.

*schmoopy music*

oh the brother mush intensifies! big brother tells little brother he should get some rest and they cuddle up to sleep. and sam looks at dean, dean smiles fondly. sam makes his thinking thoughtful face out the window as he (obviously) thinks about how dean took care of him haha

BOBBY They won't take long.

CAS You don't know that. They may find more wayward orphans along the way.

😂

BOBBY Oh, don't get cute.

CAS Right. Pardon me for highlighting their crippling and dangerous empathetic response with "sarcasm". It was a bad idea – letting them go.

BOBBY Come on. You don't let Sam and Dean Winchester do squat. They do what they gotta. You know that.

haha pissy cas again, a treat. and ain't that the truth, they're gonna do what they want to do, come hell or highwater

oh my god the extended family reunion and the exchanged looks with sam and dean. WE GET IT, GUYS. feeling soft about big brothers taking care of little brothers. saving lives, reuniting families

this is so interesting, in a way, because i had no idea that cas had this darkside situation going on. the thing with the souls, the torturing. i know nothing about his character arc! when i know a lot about sam and dean's

lol so one of the kids was a monster. all gone, the mushy feelings

EVE You look upset. If it makes you feel any better, Ryan was bound to work on you. Little wayward orphan, like yourselves. There's nothing you can do about it now. So let's talk.

samantha smith's voice (eve as mary here) reminds me of someone in hill house. i think elizabeth reaser (played shirley [also esme in twilight])?

this whole thing is a lot. glad dean had some amazing forethought to consume some of the ash to make himself poisonous to her eating him LOLL

cas finally gettin something cool to do

demons *gasp*

so is cas working with crowley? i admit to tuning out a little when eve was talking about the soul battery stealing plan

well i guess that answers that. something weirdly satisfying about crowley scolding cas, what's that about

while i was looking up sam's boots, because i'm a weirdo, this site boldly declared dean winchester smells like some particular fragrance. i thought that was weird to be so specific without a source mentioned and so then i go searching the internet for dean winchester cologne. and ended up some pinterest link that is a youtube video of a con thing with j2 and jackles saying he wears tom ford "wood" (note: it's oud wood, but oud means a type of wood. agarwood wood.) and "it works" and then padalecki asking where he sprays it. i think for my sanity it is best i continue to avoid bts/con related content

like, nothing on the hey i know you front. suddenly started getting exclusively side characters actors i've never seen in anything else

also i guess eve is dead? that was anticlimactic. like a slightly longer than usual monster of the week. i guess we can't be working under the threat of being sent to hell all the time

[wormholxtreme]

@telipatia said: ❛  i can't pretend i'm who you want me to be.  ❜ ( Athan / telipatia )

Did she push him too hard? Did she give him the impression he had to give her more of himself than he was willing? Kaylee stood dumb founded looking up from his chest to match his dark gaze. Her jaw softened, eyes bright and doe eyed. Her heart fluttered, butterflies hitting her stomach uncomfortably but she gulped down the feeling. An urge to argue, to tell him it wasn't fair of him to make that assumption crossed her mind but Kaylee bit it back by chewing on the inside of her bottom lip.

She must have done something wrong if he was telling her this. She always did something wrong. It didn't matter if she spoke her mind, it didn't matter if she kept her mouth shut. It never mattered what she did. She was always too pushy, too excitable, too much. Or worse, not enough. She thought she'd been muted as of late, her sole focus on protecting their son left her little time for her normal antics. But here he was, thinking she wanted more.

His words cut deeper than she expected. His presence had drawn her back to the land of the living. His perseverance, a lifeboat in the storm that waged in her mind. If Athan could survive thousands of years under Death's tutelage and still try, she could certainly meet him halfway. And she did! She came out of her stupor. She fell in love with their son. She dedicated every breath for that baby. All because of the tiniest example Athan led. Didn't he realize that was enough? Or did she say something - do something - to ask for more?

Her eyes glossed over, a tightness in her chest threatening to overwhelm her. She pressed her heels into the ground and balled her hands into tight little fists until her fingernails dug sharply into her palm wanting desperately not to show him an ounce of the turmoil that boiled beneath the surface. It felt like she had been standing in front of him for ages, silently contemplating his words. She willed every fiber of her being to respond but it revolted, as if it knew she would crumble if she started to speak.

The irony that as a rider of Death she felt a freedom she now longed for. As Pestilence she didn't have these thoughts in her head. She didn't question her place in the universe or whether she was doing the right or wrong thing. She had a purpose and she served that purpose well. No hesitation. No past to give her pause. Only destruction. God why did she long for that feeling again? She had ruined millions of lives. She had left souls in so much agony as they passed this plane to become one of Death's servants. The notion caused bile to rise uncomfortably in her throat. Kaylee cleared her throat and swallowed it down giving Athan a nod in answer to bide more time but her eyes flashed away from his gaze.

Goddamn it. What the fuck is wrong with me? Why can't you fucking talk you stupid fucking bitch. Tell him! Tell him that it's fine! Best case scenario he leaves, worse case scenario he stays and fucks with your head just like everyone else you've ever been with. You know he's no different. Fuck, you know he's worse! Not like you're any goddamn better. Match made in hell right? 

Kaylee exhaled slowly. The onslaught of thoughts that raced through her head almost knocked her out. Her head swam, vision turning fuzzy as she trembled. "I…I don't want you to be anything Athan. I've only ever wanted you to make your own choices."

She lifted her gaze back to his, hoping beyond hope that he couldn't see her fragile soul crack in her eyes. "I'm sorry-" she faltered. Would it be too much to ask him what she had done? Would it be wrong to ask for some direction? Or some sign that it was okay and he just needed space and reassurance? "Just um…maybe tell me what you need? ...If you want?"

[lanteanserver]

THIS is why I'm on Palestine's side. Not Palestinian Arabs' side, but on the side of everyone whose mentality is "coexistence can be more than a myth because we already lived a version of it for a long time", as opposed to "it's them or us, things will never be the same". They don't need to be the same; they can, in fact, be better if children rise up and force their elders' hands.

Here are two sets of readings from the Roman Catholic tradition. The first is the readings from the day I carefully, nervously tottered down to the local Archbishop's House and followed my instincts to find a retired bishop disguised as a security guard, and then I declared myself to be a prophet sent to tell the Roman Catholic Church that they need to change or die. (It's not a threat. I'm not saying I'll kill them. I'm just saying that God seems to be doing exactly what the Church said They would, and sending someone the Hol{e}y Spirit an Echo of the Infinite Divine me, I guess, to tell them to get their shit in gear.) The second is from the day I was born, although there might be an offset that I'm not aware of. It's the one I care more about, tbh; if there's more to any of this than your garden-variety insanity, I still think Our Lady of Tooth and Claw is a good and necessary addition to the roles we scribe to Mary as Roman Catholicism's chosen embodiment of the feminine divine.

Lo, I will send you the prophet Elijah before the great and terrible day of the Lord comes. He will turn the hearts of parents to their children and the hearts of children to their parents, so that I will not come and strike the land with a curse.

If I am a version of Elijah - a version of the prophet associated with Sandalphon, whose wings can carry him anywhere on Earth in a heartbeat like an email or a blog post - we won't know for sure until I'm long dead. But my parents and I are finally communicating with each other effectively, because the spiritually abusive dysfunction nexus in my extended family finally realised that dying can be difficult but being dead is a lot easier than being alive; and if I can forgive the Catholic Church for everything they have put my family through, both directly and indirectly... Well, I haven't yet, because they haven't actually confessed their sins against us, which makes sense because their sins against other people were so much worse and should absolutely be a higher priority. But I will forgive them if and when they ask me to, and that's why redemption and absolution are different things and they need to be a lot clearer about that going forward.

Absolution is when God allegedly forgives you everything because Jesus took on all of our suffering while on the cross. But I really don't think that makes sense as a moral framework. People keep talking about offering up their suffering, and it makes me feel physically sick when they do. He was already being crucified and transcending space-time to save us, according to the Story that contains His Substance. Shouldn't we be offering our joy? Shouldn't we show Him the beauty His sacrifice wrought?

Children who live in a time and place without war, because He taught us to be peacemakers regardless of the cost to our finite, mortal selves. Recovery from pestilence that once would have resulted in a fate worse than death, and it's barely even noticed or commented on, how miracles and science and magic and faith might as well be the same thing sometimes. Famine becoming a thing of the past because we finally know how to ensure everyone gets a first helping before anyone gets a fucking private jet. [Pay yo' fucking taxes.] The current horseman threatening us isn't quite pollution, but is climate change; and I know enough of that danger to say with confidence that it is not too late for human civilization to weather this storm we are already living through, but it's going to take more than a Miku-Luce to get young people to return to any flavour of Christianity given how many of us have already been crucified or chained to the rocks in a Tempest by our elders who thought this was the best way to save us and instead just kept breaking the Third Covenant. At least your generation got to pick out your own fucking crosses and actually earned some kind of reward for lugging them around. I don't even have a home left, because it was destroyed to create a shrine for a false idol who worshipped her image of me from the day I was conceived to the day that she finally proved herself True by being False.

There will be a lot of choices to make, and I've already made the ones meant for me. I can be the Talkative Death, the Woman of the Apocalypse, Swift and Kindly. I can have green eyes or blue eyes or grey eyes. I can be a sovereignty goddess or a goddess of crafts or a tutelary deity or an oracle or a livestock guardian sheepdog or just another gardener. But I'm only going to be one of those things at a time from here on out, so if you've got skin in the game and you have a preference, let me know. I think the deadline might be 11pm tomorrow, but I might be wrong. I keep telling people that, and they keep telling me how fascinating I am and how they could listen to me all day, and then don't bother actually hearing a Word I've said. (Don't worry. I still love you. Just take a bath-tism and follow the ritual for the Hol{e}y Spirit if you want a hug. And if you want nothing to do with me, that's fine. I'm the rear guard anyway. Once you're all safely inside the walled city at one of the House Parties, my job will be to turn around and become Maxwell's Next Daemon. But only long enough for the ones on the inside to shut the city gates; and once that's done, I can start looking for the lost sheep who got left in the Hinterland of the Forest/Garden instead of making it safely to the walled city.

I understand why Moses didn't enter the city. It wasn't that he never could. Just... Not in that lifetime.

I've inadvertently fulfilled more prophecies than you can shake a crozier at. I'm pretty sure that if people want to, we can actually declare a Messianic Age based solely on the bullshit I've been dealing with for the past few months (and especially the past one month, when I went Full Mad Prophet and I am barely recovering as it is).

People keep telling me to take care of myself, but they don't understand that part of being a livestock guardian sheepdog is that I literally cannot take care of myself while others are suffering in a way I can help with and in a place I can see. I'm trying to recover, but with the world as it is, I'm not sure how feasible a full recovery is. I don't think God or humans are just trinities, although it's not a bad start.

Accident: mind and body (Father Hashem and Son Jesus, or your preference of equivalent subdivisions of the transcendent infinite)

Substance: soul (eyes are the windows, and the soul carries the True Name of the Infinite Self), story we tell ourselves and/or others about who we are (how we transubstantiate accident to substance), and context we live in (both the objective reality of God's world, and the subjective reality we experience as individuals).

I think we finally made it back into the Garden, and I think I've explained why at some point. But Jesus told us that the poor would be with us always, even to the end of time. If we go for full-on communism, either it will be implemented in a corrupt fashion that results in unnecessary suffering, or we will stagnate because there will be no reason to grow and change.

Late-stage capitalism is as least as bad, though. Speculative trading is allowing the Haves to drain the substance of the Have-Nots on an unprecedented scale. I would legitimately have an objectively better social context if I was in medieval times. That doesn't mean I would have a better life; but if I could avoid the four horsemen, I (Eimear, specific individual with complex needs and simple wants) would probably be much happier. At least I would know which parts of the work were mine to complete and which ones I didn't need to worry about abandoning because they were genuinely someone else's responsibility.

[cyberscribwe2world]

Why are we always at war ?

Nothing against the DNC or the RNC and their Conventions but I have a simple observation. At the RNC the Mob chanted "Fight-fight-fight!" over and over for hours. I've seen people at the DNC carrying signs that also say "FIGHT!" Excuse me but wouldn't it be better to chant or scream Vote-Vote-Vote? Doesn't American Society have enough problems with gun violence, knife violence, marital spousal violence... ... Why do we feel compelled to declare war on drugs, a war on crime etc. Nobody declares war against hate or waste or abuse of the environment? Can't somebody chant learn learn learn. How about "Love you!" instead of "Fuck You!"? Don't we have respect for humanity anymore? Manners? Rules? Speaking of common sense "rules" "laws" "legislation" the things we should associate with Politics "MATTER!" Pardon me raising my voice. They "matter" more than most things today because things that "matter" have consequences. We look to Politicians to be our representative's who create "structure" for society in the form of rules & laws. Not to be rude but WTF does fight fight fight which might as well be kill kill kill, or destroy destroy destroy have any business doing at our sports or political rallies? Grow up people! Be responsible for the crap you are espousing. Don't go screaming war death & violence unless that's what you want along with blood, gore, mourning, suffering and loss. Pestilence follows war as well. Lets shower one another with Love instead of bullets and bombs.

[luvsbitca]

s03e06 Monsters

This is different to excursions I used to take kids on. We’d have more adults and these two would be with me or the annoying parent who acts like they could be a better teacher than someone with a degree, experience, and is actually doing the job.

I mean they deserve a bit of payback. Do not fuck with the crows!

Nice symbol of death and pestilence.

I adore that Bobby bakes when he worries.

Oh Buck, just wanting things to be normal. My sweet little poppet. Thank goodness for Hen’s drum.

Eddie. Tsk tsk tsk.

Bobby’s house. Bobby’s rules.

Subtle Maddie.

I remember this woman! Insane!

You are catfishing her.

Patience Buck. It’ll be okay. Until then do what chin says.

One thing I will say about 911 no storyline lasts a stupid length of time. Instead Maddie makes poor choices and it plays out reasonably in a few episodes.

How do people who don’t want to be visited show it. You know the ones who aren’t keeping girls in their basement?

Fuuuuuuuuuuck

Why be subtle. Just say it plain.

What do you want Buck to get, Bobby? What specifically?

Yay. Buck and Eddie. Back together. And now he can smack Eddie for this fight club shit.

Was that what you wanted Buck to learn, Bobby?

She has to save herself, no one else can.

Maddie sees the crow too!

Bobby rushed straight there because he loves him. Loves him so much.

I bet it was an accident how much they look alike too 😂👀

[yurhighnessmio]

✍️The Four Horsemen: Pestilence, War, Famine, and Death, are the harbringers of the apocalypse, serving forth chaos and destruction to humanity. The Bible forgot to mention the Fifth Horseman: Kyle, whom the other four can't seem to ditch.

Short Story #10 - June 3, 2023; Saturday; 7:15pm

It was never a good sign when the Four Horsemen were called in to the Four Horsemen's Office. That's why when the three of them, Pestilence, Famine, and War, were heading there, the sense of anxiety eating up their stomach was no better than having your eyes gouged or your neck broken.

Pestilence broke the silence that lingered between the three of them like a wall, "I heard someone's in trouble. Spill. Who is it?"

Famine, who stood at her right, shook her head, "Ain't me. Got nothing to do with it. Probably."

"The who was it? Who killed him? War, was it you?"

War, who stood on Famine's right, answered, "No, not me. Murder wasn't on today's agenda."

"Damn it...it's not on anyone's!"

"Well, maybe not yours. It's on mine, just not until next Thursday. I'm supposed to collaborate with Evil,"---War leans in to whisper---" I hear it's a big one this time."

"Oh?" Famine's ears perked, "Where to?"

With a smile, War replied, "Russia and Ukraine."

Famine, upon hearing this, was more than pleasantly surprised, "Woah, that is big!"

"I know!"

"Are ya sure ya don' have famine on the agenda? I could help ya out."

War shook their head, "Unfortunately."

"Damn."

"Morons!" Pestilence called for attention, "We're in deep shit and you dorks nerd out about that? Where's Death anyway? She's late again?"

War answered, "Give her a break, I hear she's been busy lately. I heard she had to overwork somewhere in Iran...Or was it Iraq?"

"I don't care! I'm too innocent for this. I haven't done anything!"

"But you haven't done anything in a long time. Why are you complaining---"

"Can someone just here explain to me, in small words, why I'm being called to the office?"

It was at that exact moment where they arrived at the office. But when Famine opened the door, they were greeted by an unwanted existence...it was Kyle.

"Surprise!" Kyle waved his little immortal hands like a child would when they yell out the word 'surprise!'. "I'm back from the dead! Isn't that exciting?"

"Kyle?"

"So it was you?"

"Again?"

To double the trouble, the leading manager and every god and immortal's worst nightmare, Dave, stepped out from behind Kyle. Dave's presence itself was never a good thing because as everyone else knows, where there is Dave, there is deep shit spread up your ass.

War opened a whisper, "So... What's our exit strategy?"

"Our what?"

"Idiots!" Raised Pestilence, "There is no such thing as an exit strategy against Dave!"

"Oh..."

War interjected, "Oh my gods, we're all going to die."

Panicking, Famine shuts the door to Kyle and Dave's face.

"Why'd you do that!?" Screamed Pestilence.

"I panicked! I didn't know what else tuh do!"

"Well now we're double fucked!"

"I- um, I..."

Like a moron, Famine proceeds to open the door, only to welcome Dave, suddenly standing just behind it with an expression that's darker than the darkest underarms you've probably seen - except, smiling.

Startled, Pestilence panic-whispered to Famine, "Moron! Why'd you open the door!?"

Also terrified to her wits, Famine panic-whispers back, "What exactly did ya want me tuh do!?"

Dave coughed, then frowned.

Pestilence, for his own protection, said after a deadly silence, "I swear I didn't kill anyone... At least not today. I swear."

War, who wouldn't even dare to move, commented, "You don't sound convincing."

"Shut up."

Two seconds, five, no one spoke. All just waiting for Dave to say anything until he smiled to the three of them, "Please," He gestured, "come in."

Famine blurted, "No, please, we really don' wanna-"

Pestilence smacked Famine at the back of the head.

"Kidding! Haha... of course we'd love tuh come in."

Offering to make way, Dave opened the door for the three to get in. Slowly though, and hesitantly, and awkwardly, they come in while maintaining unbreaking eye contact with Dave... Except for War.

"Is there a problem, War? You seem... unnerved. Are you perhaps, scared?"

"Oh no. I have this terrified look on my face because I'm having so. Much. FUN."

Nevertheless, Dave gestures War to come in and like an obedient servant, War obeys. As War comes in, he notices both Pestilence and Famine both quietly staring at something on the floor near Kyle's feet. Curious, he took a few steps closer to get a clearer view of it.

Gasping, almost disgustingly, War exclaimed, "What the heck is that?"

With a smile, Kyle announced, "It's my cat!"

"Cat?" War paused, taking this chance to double look at the black little thing on the floor, "Cats don't have eight legs, Kyle."

"But isn't it cute?" Kyle insisted.

"Where did you get that thing?"

"Mau."

"Seriously?"

"Mau!"

"See?" Kyle's smile brightened, "Cat!"

Cutting the subject, Dave orders everyone to gather near the kitchen counter. To which, everyone hesitantly does because the last time anyone gathered inside the kitchen, someone broke a spatula, cracked a skull, lost a finger, and spilled tea on Dave's face. Which was never a good thing. Especially the last one.

Dave seemed to not remember it though, probably because of all the luck he's had lately with the other offices. But he seemed to remember something that the three of them have hoped to avoid: "I want to get straight to the point: Who killed Kyle this time?"

Fully prepared, a bombarding flow of answer spews.

"Not me."

"Ain't me either."

"It was definitely someone."

"It was me."

Dave responded, "So it wasn't War. Who is it?"

"What!" Pestilence protested, "What the hell! Why do you believe War and not us?"

Dave looked at War with a sinister look, to which, war responds with an expression that spoke of terrible memories. "That's because War knows better than to go against me this time."

Distracted with a though, Famine faced Kyle and asked, "Wait, how'd ya die?"

"Oh." Kyle melancholically places Sprinkles the Cat on the table upside-down. Poor Sprinkles was wriggling for his life as Kyle continued, "I fell down the stairs and broke my neck."

"Oh that ain't too bad."

"It kinda hurt."

"How'd ya fall? D'you slip?"

"That's what Dave and I are trying to figure out."

Joining in on the conversation, Pestilence commented, "You don't even know?"

As if by coincidence, the door slammed open to welcome in Death. She wore a tight, black, dress, and her hair looks like she just came out of a brawl. In her hand was a bag, which she dropped on the floor. "Sorry I'm late."

Kyle gaped, "Woah, you look..."

"Beautiful, I know. Can we move on?"

Famine, who had stood up seconds after she slammed the door open, placed a blanket over Death's bloodied shoulder. Finding it weird, she takes it off and handed it back to Famine, whose smile frowned instead.

War commented when he finally noticed the blood on her shoulder, "Is that blood?"

"No?" Death marched to the fridge, searching for something.

"That's not a question you're supposed to answer with another question..." War was concerned. Nevertheless, finding this sight common, War sighed and went to shut the door that Death left open.

This time, Petilence stood. Only, it was to stand next to Death adn start sniffing Death to see if it's actually blood.

Death stopped her search for something in the fridge and leaned back, "What are you doing?"

"Checking if it's actually blood..."

"When has it never been blood? Also, don't breath on me. I'm expensive."

"Expensive? You?" Death glared at War, who didn't seem to sense it, "Everyone can afford you in their lives at least once... Except for those two. They're filthy rich." Then he gestured at Dave and Kyle.

Pestilence backed away at this. Famine put another blanket over Death's shoulders. This time it was Hello Kitty and it made her hesitant. She still took it off anyway because she had a reputation. But she had to ask, "Why do you keep trying to put this blanket on me?"

Famine answered, "Because...yer in shock?"

"Said who? And even if I was, that doesn't mean I need a blanket. It means I need booze-" Death yelled over, "-Where in heaven is the vodka!?"

"We still have vodka?" Famine peeked in the fridge.

Apparently, War had been checking out Death's bag, because he had learned that ANYTHING could be inside Death's bag. One time, he found a love letter from a prostitute. Another time, he found a baby's sock. The last time, he found a pair of diamond encrusted heels which - as Death mentioned - is one of Imelda Marcos' museum shoe collection.

But this time, War pulls out something that still had a handle, was wet, and sticky. He shouldn't have been surprised, and he wasn't just more concerned. "Death... Why do you have a knife in your purse...?"

Pestilence commented after taking a look at the size of the purse, "That looks more like a duffle bag."

"Dont touch that." Death pulled out a jug of orange juice instead because there was no vodka, and points it at war for a second before chugging, "Those are decorative-"

"It has blood on it..."

"-Well at least at some point, it was."

War scanned Death another time, and this time, noticed that Death was walking around with a jud of water and a missing shoe. "And your shoe...? Where did it go?"

Death paused. She was going to sit in one of the living room sofas but she stopped to think, as if solving a missing shoe problem was something you had to think about, and lowered her half-chugged jug of juice. Then she opened her mouth, "The giant mud puddle down the wall demanded a sacrifice before the 11th baby of the day."

War blinked, "...What?"

"Hm. Exactly."

"Mau..."

Death eyes the cat. Then at Kyle. Then at Kyle's cat again, who is upside-down, on the table, wriggling, and upside-down. Then at Kyle again.

"Hi."

"...Cute cat."

"I know right! I told them so! They wont believe me!"

"Name?"

"Sprinkles. He's a prince, actually."

"A prince?"

"Yeah!"

"What's a princely cat like him doing with you?"

"DeStInY."

"Hm. Cute. Also, how many souls did you have to sell to keep your boyish looks of yours by the way?"

"A bunch, not much, but a bunch."

"Hm. Nice."

Petilence, Famine, and War, have been occassionally eyeing Dave, who still remained seated on the kitchen counter and maintained his pleasantly unmoving smile. They did not like how he had remained frozen, and silent, and smiling. This was not normal for a human. Then again, he wasn't human. But still. Nothing gave them more creeps than Dave being Dave.

Death noticed this but was clearly unaffected. Though, it was only then that she noticed that the atmospheres seemed a little off. Maybe more than a little. She looked at Dave, "Did something interesting happen?"

Dave gestured, "Take a seat."

As if it wasn't a big deal, Death obeys. Soon, the others follow.

Dave asked afterwards, "You gonna tell us why you're late today, Death?"

"You know how busy I am, Dave."

"Oh I know. But today, you were 18.79 seconds later than your usual definition of late. Care to explain why?"

Deaht paused, "It's...not a happy story."

Dave paused as well, his frown dissipating before he smiled, "Well, you don't necessarily live a happy life."

This was Dave trying to make a joke. It was a terrible pun. Death knew it. But the others didn't. So they sat there, in silence, shocked because it could be an insult, or if not, not knowing whether to laugh because they were too afraid of both of them to turn them into potential enemies. Instead, they chose to drown in silence, waiting for either of them to say something for about a minute.

Death finally sighed, then took a chug of her juice. "...Dave, you know you're my favorite, right?"

Dave smiled as he petted the sill upside-down Sprinkles, "I better be."

Death knew that there was no point prolonging anything. So she gave in. "Tell me first what happened to them and then I'll spit."

"Kyle found himself dead again."

"Really?" She gasped, looking genuinely shocked as her gaze moved to the others, "Again?"

War frowned, "Unfortunately. Go on, ask how."

"How?"

Pestilence sighed, "The Gods work in mysterious ways..."

Famine added, "He fell down the stairs and broke his neck."

Death jerked her head, "Oh that's not that bad."

"Right?" Famine smiled at this, as if to prove that yet, it was not that bad at all.

"It hurt."

Death insisted, "It's still not that bad."

"It still hurt."

It was at this moment when Dave lets go of Sprinkles and allowed the poor creature to finally escape. Everybody watched and waited.

Death asked after no one had said so, "So who did it?"

Dave questioned, "You don't know?"

"Would I still ask?"

"...This is gonna be a problem." Everyone took a glance at Dave as his smile finally disappeared for sure. "A month ago, Kyle got kidnapped. Three days after that, he gets run over. After that, he gets pushed off the 16th floor just three buildings away from this one. Then he gets accidentally-"

"Presumably." Kyle cut.

"Presumably, cremated alive."

"Oh! can uh, can we not talk about the cremation part? Sprinkles has ptsd when it comes to anything related to live cremation and fire."

Famine found ti curious, "Wait, how'd ya know somethin' like that? Didn't you just get that cat?"

"I've had him long enought to know."

Pestilence double checked, "Really?"

War triple checked, "Is that even a cat in the first place?"

Death supported, "Well, I think it's a cat."

Famine too, "I mean it kind'a does look like a cat, a bit."

Pertilence wasn't sure, "I don't know about that..."

War was pretty sure, "It looks nothing like a cat!"

Dave coughed, "Are you quite done?"

Silence.

Dave continued, "Anyway, a week later, he gets poisoned after being kidnapped again-"

"Yeah, getting kidnapped is getting old to be honest."

War felt empathetic after hearing that, "It must be. Didn't you like, get the best record out of all groups for getting kidnapped 28 times just last month?"

"Yeah, they gave me around 50 bonus souls for it too..."

Famine gasped, "Woah, 50 souls? Are ya serious?"

"Yeah! And I didn't even know it was a contest until then."

It was then when the others followed his comment with comments of admiration.

"Woah."

"Lucky..."

"I should try that some time."

Kyle smiled at this. He liked it when others felt happy for him. "Wait, I need to go pee. Be right back." And he left.

"As I was saying, the point is, you've got until..." Dave checks one of his waist watches, "...around 20 minutes and 28.46 seconds to find out who among you killed Kyle this time. Else, you'll all serve time in The Whiteroom."

Pestilence's eyes shot upon hearing the word. "What!? No! I'm innocent!"

Famine too. "I didn't do nothin' tuh Kyle this time either! My hands haven't touched a shred of grass in the last week!"

War froze. "You can't be serious... All of us...? Dave, you can't do this..."

"Oh but you see, I can. I actually hold the power and authority to do so in any instant. So, need I remind you all again, you have about 19 minutes at most. Go."

Chaos ensues.

"Damn it! One of you spill this instant or else!" War threatened.

Famine cried, "I didn't do nothing! I didn't do it! I swear on all the live wheat in China that I didn't!"

"You always say that!" Pestilence argued, "You always say the same shit---"I didn't do it! I didn't do it! I swear!"---and a lot of the time, you did! You always do! And you get away with it all the fucking time!"

The arguement eventually evolved into a fight where all you heard were groaning and crashing, chairs and tables were broken, and bones were cracked. It was not a pleasant thing to see. Especially considering they were all gods, who would say no to defeat.

Dave and Death, however, stared at the chaos like it was indeed something pleasant thing to see. Dave taking moments to check the time, while Death finishing up her jug. Both watching unaffectedly knowing that in their lives, this was nothing new.

Dave eventually asked Death as he remained standing, "Is it really necessary for you to drink that much orange juice?"

"I need all the sugar for later."

"Why?"

"I'm baby sitting War and Evil."

Dave nodded, "Ah."

Then there was a slight pause.

"...It was me."

"I figured it was you." Dave checked his watch again.

"I kicked him down the stairs and shot him five times because he was being annoying."

"What about him annoyed you this time?"

"He wanted to come to Iraq."

"I see. But you do understant that I'm gonna have to penalize you for doing that right?"

Death finally looked up at Dave, "You think I'm afraid of The Whiteroom or something? What am I, a child?"

"Brave." Dave glazed his eyes at her friece ones before turning back to the mess in front of them. "And no. I'm just merely stating fact. I mean no ill will."

"I'm not brave. Just tired." Death looked back to the fighting mess as well, "Should we leave those morons at it?"

Dave thought about it, then relaized that they deserved a bad day. "Yes."

Nodding, Death grabbed the Hello Kitty blanket and put it over her shoulder. She liked it, just didn't want to admit it to Famine.

It was at this moment when Dave's phone buzzed. He has recieved a notification that an Immortal died. It was Kyle again.

Unfazed, he announced loud enough to alert everyone, "Kyle's dead...Again."

Death commented, sipping her juice jug, "Well, it was definitely someone else this time."

Then he gets a call from an unknown number. Though Dave did not know this, he had just assumed that it was the InD Desk taht called him so he answers without hesitation. "Hello? What happened this time?"

There was no reply.

Now hesitating, Dave muttered, "...Kyle?"

An deep, evil voice, begins to laugh. Immediately, chills ran down the spines of the three that had just stopped fighting to listen to the call. Dave and Death remained still as the laughter get louder and sounding more sinister by the second. Until it stopped.

A terrible silence played before Dave asked, "Who is this?"

There was a pause.

"Mau"

🌟

Questions?

Comments?

Advice?

No?

Have a great day.

[rametarin]

please stop doing this

Some Dude: “American Liberals and conservatives are the exact same thing.”

Also Some Dude: “I am so tired of people conflating socialists with communists! They’re not even remotely similar!”

wish even half of you that felt like they were the exact same would stop platforming the democrats/democrat party, and grow some gonads to actually A.) have some integrity and join the actual pro-socialism parties B.) actually join the American communist parties C.) go green, where the other people that are actually crypto-socialists/communists can continue pretending to be ecologists in the interest of ecology and not advancing policy, are living.

But I understand. Being what you are is, “bad optics right now,” probably due to, “CIA propaganda,” or whatever bullshit that takes the onus of responsibility from being associated with a violent, conspiratorial and totalitarian culture of usurpers away from defeating your own arguments.

Since a great deal of you unironically use the fact the US has HAD slavery and concentration camps historically as a reason why things can’t be fixed or modified to be better, they HAVE to be destroyed and replaced in order to not have the stigma or guilt of a thing anymore, it’d make sense you don’t want to speak up and declare what you really are and vote in the appropriate parties. You whom fly the god damned red and black and yellows would have to willingly associate with every bit of imperialism-in-all-but-name that was the Soviet Union, and any Socialist Republic that bore those colors, used those symbols and spoke those memes and slokans. So, given actual history, the famines, the pogroms of the supposed “anti-classist, anti-discrimination, anti-barbarism” parties and movements that turned into piles of pestilence, famine and pyramids of dead skulls don’t want your symbols associated with that.

And yet many of you that’d openly wave a hammer and sickle flag, think a statue of Lincoln erected and financed by freed slaves is too spicy to have without declaring, “LINCOLN WAS A WHITE SUPREMACIST” everywhere. That the United States can never clean the blemishes of its history and that that’s an argument as to why it needs to be snuffed out as a concept and paved over with a Year Zero and something else in its place.

Instead, you spineless fucking interlopers continue to commandeer the democrats. There’s been some headway by the russo-supremacists to commandeer the republicans by tricking some of them into thinking Putin is the cure to the worst of your shit, but by and large the republicans remain more entrenched in religious moralism or plutocratic corporatism and “small government statism,” which one way or another prevents the worst of your intrusions. Yes, the republicans and them doing that present their own sets of problems. They’re different problems from the ones you represent.

You know it suits you better to pretend to be liberals when it suits you, using the term and stretching it, hoping to make it synonymous with you- and you’ve managed to succeed, for the most part. Except; you that aren’t liberal, but pretend to be liberal for ideological convenience sake; the mask has been slipping, of late. You’ve seen that this vessel has taken you as far as it can go.

And I’ve been enjoying seeing this. The holes opening up, exposing the parasite or predatory mimic pretending to be the real deal. You are not liberal. You are anti-private property and pro government (”society,” that you dub a government declaring itself to be the voice of society) control over natural resources and employment opportunities.

I look forwards to seeing some of you actually arguing openly and honestly from the actual parties and stop trying to railroad another party towards your values and goals by pretending to be liberals. And you’d best do it quickly, because between liberal ownership of self, free market capitalism and the advancement of science and technology from both private and public outlets hurriedly bringing us towards an era of affordable miracles and quality of life improvements that just 30-40 years ago WOULD have required megawealth to even imagine, there’s not going to be much of a difference between the opportunities for a wealthy person and a middle classed one, much longer.

Then you’ll be back to trying to rally ‘comrades’ with bluster and insistence that everybody stop imagining the situation just between what’s fair for individuals and instead demanding we imagine some game rules where the rich are a nefarious and inherently evil force unto themselves while ‘the poor’ (those that aren’t rich) are inherently victims of their exploitation and oppression. Assigning malice to things not on the basis of the actual malice of actual assholes doing actual asshole things, but characterizing people as assholes because they have things, and someone whom has poor is automatically a victim because he’s not rich.

When stripped of your cover, and no longer given the benefit of the doubt, and denied the ability to play off peoples unfamilarity of your snake oil, you’ll eventually have to argue for what you really believe. And what you really believe is shit. Even the parts that sound good, are mere cover used to declare would be the positive outcome of your shit systems.

That’s why people will conflate the two systems and not care about the difference. One system will see the crimes of another, and alchemically transmute itself to claim it’s not affiliated with the other, that that behavior is characteristic only of the other guy, and they must be mistaken for presuming you the same. While you in fact engage in the same crimes.

Meanwhile, you cannot argue a secular liberal constitutionalist republic that can and has historically been a limit to social hegemony of religious authority, a federated and regulated secular system has been essential in filing down the much of the worst kinds of trade abuses by cartels and organizations, isn’t worlds different from a fucking religiously fascist ethnostate. American liberalism bears little resemblance to American conservatism outside the fact both to varying degrees and populations have and respect the right to private property, and use capitalism. When those are the only things you care about, your ideology may as well be the only religion you see as valid, and everything that is not your faith may as well be paganism when it’s not the antithetical Satanism to your beliefs.

[self-loathing-angel-of-thursday2]

Beautiful Spouse Rewatches SPN 05x19

Hammer of the Gods

“Didn’t want to let you down, huh?” “Kinda weird change of heart, I guess. Typical but weird” “Why the fuck would there be a security guard in there? There’s nothing worth securing. Well, I mean we don’t know that, but they’d probably take better care of it if there was something worth securing” “Maybe we could use that magic on your broken windshield” “Did he just rip the guy in half with his hands or what?” “Wait - didn’t we just see this place?” “Well that’s clearly just a set-up” “I want some whipped cream right now” “It was probably messy” “oh never mind” “what the fuck” “That’s not creepy at all, Sam” “Death by a 1000 cuts” “elephant cocks” “staring at dudes again” “hurricane on I-90? Where are they?” I90 goes from Boston to somewhere in Montana

“Hello. My name is Odin” “Such a weird intro for all of these dudes” “Not leaving a whole lot of room for imagination guys” “uh huh” “She’s rather convincing” “that’s funny” “I wouldn’t have listened to Sam either. It’s fine” “what the hell is that?” “oh my” “What are they doing? Just eating them?” “ass monkeys” “What the fuck” “How come I never see that coming?” “uh huh. I’m going to put my face in your box” “It’s got a bunch of dents in it” “Why would he make that kind of joke? That’s weird” “Doesn’t he just wake up and go hahaha?” “Is Dean just pulling shit out of his ass? Seems like a Dean thing to do” “Act natural? Don’t you mean super natural?” “He’s talking about butt buddies and blowing town. What is going on?” “What’s cancer boy doing here? Radiation poisoning. Idk” “Gotta ice the devil” “nice” “He got fisted” “What sport uses a pine bench?” “so he’s dead-dead right?” “Thats a lot of keys for one penis cage” “Is he going to take a stand?” Then used his finger to imitate a penis

“Delicious” “and a trip to Mordor” “he kept the porno” “that’s disgusting” “I know it’s on purpose but good god” “This one is Pestilence, right?” “SKIN TURD?” License plate

“Yeah sure. That’s good”