#perv!mirage

[snipersfucker]

being friends with perv!mirage & him having the most intensestest crush on you.... practically having to refrain himself from revving his engine every single time you sit on any of his seats.... he acts completely normal around you, like there aren't thousands of thoughts in his mind about you stretched out around his spike...... he literally wants you so bad, to feel you, to taste you, to smell you, to see you.....

you're practically soaking wet from the rain, hiding in the garage, waiting for the rain to go away so you can get back home but it's just not stopping, the sky's all cloudy, poor you..... so you just decide to stay there for a bit but you definitely need to change into something less.... dripping. you find smth of noah's to wear, you undress...... and mirage, parked in the corner in his car form, whom you did not notice (or what if you did and still decided to give him a lil show......) just observes you, taking mental notes of the way your body moves every time you take off your clothing/put something on...... and goddamn if you decide that your underwear is too wet to comfortably wear? and you take it off?? he nearly revs when he notices your tits, your bare ass and pussy right in front of him...... and when you have to sit down on something to put your dry pants on, spreading your legs slightly he loses it..... the images of his digits inside you, his transfluid dripping out of your holes when he's finished with you...... and he's sososo disappointed when you get dressed fully in your new dry clothes and he feels bad for wanting you to stay naked for just a bit longer, even though you could get sick..... but your bare skin's not on display anymore..... he's so gross for watching you but he just can't stop himself :((

[tom-foolery-incorporated]

Worst option; Optimus walks in on Soundwave and Shockwave with the reader as they're fucking

Like, sure, he knows they're safe now, no issue there

But Soundwave reads his mind and suddenly, Optimus is considerably less safe than before

He's very sorry about his sweaty censor bar thoughts. Soundwave wishes bots and cons alike would stop perving on his S/O, they're married ffs, and tbh he doesn't want to see that. He did not need those images in his head

Bout to go blitzo nuts on this

Soundwave x reader, gender neutral AFAB reader, racially ambiguous, slight Optimus Prime x reader, fingering, size kink, creampie, exhibitionism, voyeurism

Optimus was a guest as strange as that sounds. Him and the Autobots were guests to Megatron and his lackeys as the two sort out this whole ordeal.

The Autobots kidnapped you with the best intentions. You were cooped up in Shockwave’s lab by yourself. How could Mirage not be led to believe you were one of the sick scientist’s test subjects? Your kicking and screaming was strange but surely that must just be the trauma from what you went through!

The way you begged to be let back to your husbands surely must just be some form of Stockholm syndrome or perhaps some sort of meddling inside of your mind done by Soundwave?

Wait.

Husbands?

The whole ordeal turned from the Autobots feeling heroic in rescuing a sweet human to the horror of realization when Ratchet tested the ring on your finger; spark casing from two different mechs.

Now Optimus had to clean up this entire mess for the sake of the Autobots’ PR as well as trying to deescalate the war further and figure out what to do with Shockwave’s research. Research he caught Wheeljack’s cooling fans blaring over. While Powerglide had Astoria and it was no secret that they were sexually active with each other, actual research on interspecies relationships between Cybertronians and humans was brand new.

What would happen if the greater human population heard word of this? Cybertronians sexual deviants who only came to earth to pray on helpless humans? You a traitor to your species and planet to court not one but two Decepticons? The whole thing was a meas that made Optimus’ processor ache.

He wanted nothing more than to visit the showers and wash the day off of his plating then return to his assigned habsuite with his fellow Autobots and plan for another stressful day filled with perverted allegations.

While Optimus’ processor mulled over the travesty that was the WaveWave Husband Scandal, as Bumblebee had named it, he didn’t pay much attention to which door he opened until he was greeted with a sight that would forever be burned into his optics.

Soundwave lounged on a berth with his slick coated spike flopped out of his modesty plate and onto his thigh. You were snug against his frame with your legs spread so wide little was left to the imagination. Two blue metal digits from the servo of the same arm that was supporting your body against Soundwave’s pushed in and out of your squelching hole.

You were so wet Optimus wasn’t sure if the human body was capable of safely producing fluids to such a capacity until he saw the ring of pink all too familiar fluid leak around Soundwave’s digits. Soundwave was fucking his own release back into your pretty little hole.

“Your performance was excellent,” Soundwave cooed into your ear. His mask was slipped away into his helm so he could lay soft kisses across your face and torso.

“Please!” You cried with your head thrown back.

“I will keep you stretched for Shockwave’s return,” Soundwave groaned before biting into your side.

You whined out in a mixture of pain and pleasure.

“Too much.” Despite how pained you sounded you humped Soundwave’s fingers as they dipped and swam around in your thoroughly used hole.

You were beautiful.

Optimus understood the appeal of humans and understood why so many of the Autobots were now interested in pursuing interspecies relationships much like Powerglide. Humans were so small and soft. Cute fuzzy bodies that look like that could barely handle being spiked down by a minibot. But seeing this copulation between Cybertronian and human right before him, Optimus couldn’t help the greedy thoughts that pushed aside his stressful day and replaced it with images of you stretched beyond belief and begging for his overload.

“We were so worried,” Soundwave purred giving you a harsh thrust of his fingers. “We were led to believe you were offlined by a fellow Decepticon or by the Autobots.”

Optimus would never. He would never lay a finger on your precious head. Not when you continued to make such cute noises. Please keep sounding like that while he pushes his spike to the base inside you. Your soft stomach extending to make room for such a large intrusion. Optimus imaged laying his servo over your torso like a blanket and feeling how he shifted the insides of your body with his cock.

“I was so scared,” you whined grabbing onto whatever part of Soundwave you could.

Scared? Of the Autobots? Optimus felt a sharp twinge in his spark at the idea. He never wanted to scare you. He never wanted to see any human hurt or scared by his kind. Optimus only wanted to see your face smiling up at him as you shiver in delight through your orgasm. Your own juices gushing like they are now but mixed with his own release instead of-

Suddenly a thought that wasn’t his own permeated through Optimus’ mind. A feeling of pure rage and unadulterated lust for violence.

His panicked optics made contact with the glaring red of Soundwave’s visor.

The mech pulled you closer to his frame and sat up straight bringing his other servo to cover your nude form.

“Prime,” the way Soundwave growl echoed in his helm made Optimus’ battle protocols twitch in preparation for a confrontation.

You still remained unaware of the psychic confrontation happening before you. Your hips still pushed and gyrated against Soundwave’s fingers like it was the only movement you knew.

The leader of the Autobots put his servos up in a calming motion as he backed away hoping you wouldn’t turn and be frightened by his presence.

As gently as a 20 foot mech could, Optimus backed out of the habsuite letting the metal door slip closed with an electric hum.

The noise made you perk up believing Shockwave had returned but you were only met with an empty room where your other lover’s purple form should have been.

“Wha-“ you were cut off by Soundwave trailing his glossa up your chest.

“Nothing to worry about,” Soundwave mumbled between kisses to your skin. He rubbed the spongy spot at the top of your vaginal walls making you buck your hips and moan out his name.

You had been through enough involving the Autobots. All Soundwave wanted for you was to have you writhing in desperate pleasure.

[idontknowanyonesblog]

Mirage rise of the beasts x gn reader

Mirage is kinda obsessed with reader and a bit of a perv. Slightly nsfw (mirage watched reader get undressed and watches them shower through their window and jerks off) BYE THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING LMAO

This was like my second fanfic I’ve ever written and I was to shy to post it but because I don’t have much experience writing this might not be very good and I didn’t feel like reading this over

Ever since your friend Noah had introduced you to his friend Mirage (who happened to be a 15 foot tall alien robot from space) he developed quite a liking to you. Anytime you went to the shop Mirage was always trying to talk and flirt with you. But if you were being honest, you didn’t mind it. Little did you know, Mirage had a special little “talent” which included being able to clone himself and turning invisible. One day he heard you huffing and cursing as you made your way to the door to enter the shop and Mirage wanted to test something out. He turned invisible and sat in the corner, waiting for you to enter and when you did you were absolutely soaked due to the heavy rain outside. You noticed nobody was in the shop which was a bit strange but you were too uncomfortable in your soaking wet clothes to care so you began to take your clothes off before grabbing some fresh clothes from your bag. For the few moments you were bare and stripped of your clothes, Mirage was secretly watching you with wide eyes clearly enjoying every second of it. You huffed as you put your wet clothes in your bag and went off somewhere else in the shop to get some work done and wait for the rain to pass by. After around a hour later the rain was only a small drizzle so you decided to pack up and go to back home. You walked around 10 minutes until you made it to the parking garage where you had parked before the rain came in. If you had known before hand about the rain you would’ve parked a bit closer to the shop but it didn’t matter now. It was late so Mirage knew you were heading home but he needed to see more of you. He had to or else he thought he might go feral. You’d asked him for a ride home a few times when your car was getting serviced so he knew where you lived thankfully for him.

He knew it was wrong to follow you home but he just had to. He followed you home, poor you, not knowing Mirage could become invisible and had used that to watch you undress and now he’s using it again to follow you home. Mirage felt bad about it, it was wrong but he couldn’t help himself. You were just too perfect for him to keep his sanity. Once you got to your house you went upstairs to take a nice hot shower, after such a long tiring day you deserved it. And Mirage deserved the view you gave him from the bathroom window. Your soft beautiful skin under the hot water mixed with the steam in the bathroom was such a mesmerizing site for the mech. And you wouldn’t expect a thing. Mirage was a nice mech, so funny and caring. He would never do something bad like this right? As you scrubbed your body and washed yourself, Mirage watched the whole thing happen. His spike beginning to throb with need. The panel slid and his spike was freed. His servo tightly wrapping around it and moving rapidly as he watched you. Small groans and whimpers left his mouth the closer he got to overloading. You turned towards the window for a moment and that’s when he overloaded transfluid all over his servo. The site of your body on full display from the angle you stood at. You were like a God/Goddess to him. Breathy whines left his mouth as he watched you step out of the shower and cover yourself with a towel. He wished he could’ve seen more but he had to go back to the shop before Noah got suspicious. He transformed back into his alt mode and drove away, hoping you’d come by the shop again tomorrow and hopefully give him another show.

THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING IM SO SORRY😭

[preceptorsguineapig]

Do you ever just think that… cybertronian's can just be peeping Tom's without realizing it?

Can you imagine someone is just taking a shower and a cybertronian in the disguise of a simple car, parked in front of the apartment on the perfect window where they can see the human just taking a shower or changing clothes?

This have Mirage written all over him he would do this 100% he loves humans to point where he just a huge perv for them~ Like in the movie he up here peeping through the window and park outside that man's apartment like he sits by windows to looking into human lives but it a bonus if he see a couple naked!

[sinning-23]

My Latest crush is an alien car from space Pt.2

Okay so iwasnt expecting so many Mirage smps to like up my post but HEYYY welcome home yall lmao. Heres part two and let me know is yall want like a tag list for the next couple parts. ANywhoo there's some tension that forms this chapter so start getting ready for more flirty and spicyyyy interactions with old boy.

Heres the link to pt.1

Heres the link to pt.3 shawty

ANywho ENJOY!

Pt.2

Touch me softly 

Mirage had allowed you to explore his anatomy, and he was more willing than you thought. You had managed to make a nice little sketch of his body and made 4 separate copies to try and get a placement in where everything was. Then you had 5 more separate sheets just in case there were some more internal systems you wanted to note. He watched as your eye brown pinched and formed a line on your forehead and your fingers guided the pencil to the paper. 

“Wow, you drew me kinda sexy.” He jokes making you draw a breath trying to hold back a laugh. 

It really wasn’t sexy, it was about the equivalent of the Vitruvian man drawing and basic anatomical positioning for a robot. He watches you stand, hair pulled back, yet a couple of braids still fall in front of your face. He’s quiet, looking at the way you focused so intensely on exploring him.

When you gestured for him to move his leg, he did so without complaint, the feeling of your soft, warm hands under his exteriors heating him up from the inside. Of course, you’d never know that unless you kept poking and prodding. 

“Ok so compared to me, and well, other humans I’m sure your overall body parts are called different things. So let’s start from top to bottom, yeah?” You suggest, eager to learn. 

Mirage kneels in front of you, giving you an opportunity to see better. You’re much smaller than him, but he could tell when you stood next to Noah you were definitely average human height. Small to him but normal to everyone else. 

“Alright I hope you’re ready cause there’s a LOT.” He explains, clearing his throat as you move closer to his face just to see better, he blinks a bit, getting used to the feeling.

You smile slyly, placing your hand under his chin to  guide his face, 

“Let’s start with your face. Stick out your…tongue?” 

He opens his mouth and lets the ‘flesh’ inside lol out before speaking 

“Gloth-ah” he announces and you tilt your head in confusion, only for him to repeat.

“Glossa” 

You nod prodding at what you soon learned was his helm and face plates. You brush over his vocalizer for a moment and he hums, high-pitched enough to be a moan but not loud enough for either of you to acknowledge it. You know what you heard though.

“Whoa- lets not touch that alright ma?” He asks. 

Soon enough your trailing downward and when you do he announces each part for you to make a note of. This is the quietest he’s been since earlier today. He lets you work, touch, poke, pull, and press whatever you'd wanted. It’s not like it hurt really, but he’s never had something smaller than him want to examine at such close range and actually touch places he’d never been able to. In fact, it was kind of nice-

He yelps when you slide your hand down his chest plate and even farther under his chassis. You pull away, startled at the noise with wide eyes. 

“OK, that’s enough exploring don’t you think?” The statement is rushed and you side-eye him when what sounded like cooling fans whirred from inside.

Had you gotten him worked up? Maybe those were sensitive spots that had never really been touched like that before? You nod, not wanting to pry and ruin this newfound friendship by being a perv. You collect the papers and paperclip them together as he begins to wind down. It's about 6am now, and the sun peeks in through the garage windows. Your dad should be awake about now and- 

You gasp pushing Mirage back into the space he was originally parked in last night(even though he didn’t budge). Your dad couldn’t know about this! AT ALL! Knowing him he'd stress out and then his pressure would get too high and he’d have a heart attack and-

“Whoa hey, what the rush, mamas? Got something to hide?” Mirage questions, figuring out why you were trying to get him back into a corner. 

Was he being clueless on purpose?!

“YES, YOU! Now go back to being a car! My dad can't know about you, it might just be the death of him.” You huff out, gripping your scalp and pacing back and forth. He gets the idea, chuckling a bit before right back to that beat-up Porsche.

You sneak out the garage, tiptoeing up the stairs and into your room. And the moment your head hit the pillow, not even a tornado could wake you. 

__________

You'd be lying if you said you didn't sleep the rest of the day away. By the time you woke up it was already 3-4pm and sounded like your father was cleaning up the kitchen. You sigh, running yourself a shower considering you didn't get one the night before. Mirage was still in the garage as far as you knew and you were hellbent on getting the rest of those notes.

You step in, the water feeling soothing against your skin, steam filling up the bathroom as you sigh in relief. Thoughts of your apartment fill your head. 

‘Maybe Mirage could help with the unpacking? Or maybe not. He could be spotted and then that’s more problems for us. Mirage…..Miraaaaageee….’

Your turn to face the water, soaping up your towel as suds slide down the drain. 

‘I wonder if a car wash is the equivalent of a shower for him….does he stay a car or like…fully transformed….does he have a-‘ 

Shutting the water off you opt to pull your hair back today since youd being doing more exploring. The steam from the bathroom escapes when youleave and pad downstairs, catching a glimpse at the note you father let you on the kitchen counter

~Working late, leftovers in the fridge~

You smile to yourself, grabbing a bottle of water to try and beat the obvious heat outside and head to the garage. Sure enough, the Porsche is right where you left it. Mirage is right where you'd left him, and when you tap on the window, the doors unlock almost instantly. You flatten the back of your blue jean skirt and adjust the seat. Awfully quiet today?

“Well good afternoon to you too sunshine? You realize it’s almost 5 right?.” You joke, hearing him rev his engine and the radio humming to life with the sound of his voice. 

“You had me up all night! Looking this good doesn’t happen on its own! But how tired can I be when a pretty girl in a miniskirt‘s got her thighs on my seat?” He shoots back, making you gasp. 

“Drive you flirt, I got more notes to take. Wanna go to that garage you took me to yesterday?” You ask, using the garage clicker to leave. 

It was hot, the sun beating down on you as Mirage insisted you keep the windows down instead of running the ac. The streets were somewhat empty on this fine Sunday morning and Mirage’s only response was to drive in what you assumed was the direction to the garage. You fidget with the radio nobs and glance at the aux cord below the cd player. Maybe he did have CDs in here? You open the armrest to find nothing but-

It was easy to be nosy and explore when Mirage could drive himself, youd put that together on your own last night. There was so little you knew about him but his demeanor overall made you feel comfortable enough to ask. He was…charming. You pull the blank CD case out the armrest, and dust it off. 

“MIrage’s Mix (from-)”

The name was scratched off, well more smudged than anything. You crack the case open and slide the CD into the player, the wait for the music to start making you a bit nervous. Had he realized you'd put it in? Was it personal? You begin to regret your decision but before you could press the eject button, it began. N.W.A. blasted from the speakers, startling you for a moment but you're soon amused.  What did he know about N.W.A?

________

It doesn't take much longer for you to arrive at the garage, most of the lot being empty while the two of you enter to complete more of your research. You set your purse down, taking the papers from yesterday out and trying to organize them as he peers over your shoulder.

“Still think you drew me sexy-”

You scoff playfully and push him a bit, not moving him in the slightest but still, but he still finds it amusing. 

“Stop it, I need you to sit so I can finish. You got all squeamish on my last night.” You tease, sliding your hand down the back of his ‘leg’ and he freezes.

He kneels back down, watching your every move. Your fingers hover over his vocalizer, the warning from yesterday replaying in your mind. Right, don't touch. You skip his chest plate and chassis, watching his expression slightly change to disappointment for what seemed like only a second. Again, he announces each part of himself, the air slightly awkward and VERY quiet. Maybe now was the time to try and strike up some more conversation.

“Soooo, where are you really from?” You ask, writing down each part you trace over when he speaks. 

“Cybertron actually. Not in your solar system lil mama.” He flirts, turning his palms slightly open when you tap them. 

Servos 

"Never been?" He jokes again, admiring how small your hand looked compare to his.

'Careful Mirage your size kink is showing' he thinks to himself, avoiding your gaze.

You shake your head in response, looking at the details of his hands, moving back to his torso, purposefully skipping over the plated area between his thighs. Boundaries were definitely not something you wanted to cross, trying not to make him uncomfortable. I mean, he was willingly letting you poke around, and he clears his throat when you skip that spot.

“You, you can look if you want. And touch…ask questions. It's all good babygirl.” He offers, almost melting when you look up from under your lashes at him.

 He could practically feel his pump about to explode. Why did Earth girls look so damn pretty? Mirage couldn't wrap his head around it honestly, the feeling he got when he passes a pretty girl when Noah would take him for drives. How they would gasp if he revved loud enough to embarrass Noah a bit but also score him a couple numbers.

Talk about a damn good wingman. You were different though.

You were a softer kind of pretty…He'd seen you come into the garage so many times before you really met. The day your dad parked him in that spot, he watched you skip in with your little low-rise jeans, the piercing you sported shining in the sunlight. 

You hugged your dad, eyes lighitn up at the new car with a gasp. 

“A Porsche! Dad oh my gosh really?” You ask, seeing him nod. You squealed more, inspecting his paint job, it was just as beat up then as it was before you officially met. 

You chatted on and on about how ‘cute’ he’d look when you finally got to paint him a nice shade of hot pink and added your glitter seat covers. Not so exciting for him considering pink wasn't particularly his favorite but god did you look adorable when you were excited. 

And there was that same look. Pure, unbridled excitement, yet your eyes shone almost darker this time. That look is almost salacious. It makes him swallow hard, legs opening a bit more and you brush your hand over his thighs, sparing one more glance as if to ask, ‘Are you sure?’ He only nods. 

“Mirage, you gonna keep telling me what everything is, or am I to assume on my own?” You question, tracing the skirt plate.

Ita hard to speak, his fans feelijg as if they were working overtime to keep him from overheating. Primus you looked so pretty between him and now he was wondering how would you look riding his-

You stop touching, whistling to get his attention. Damn, he kinda liked that.

“ ‘Rag, we good?” You questions and he swallows hard at his new nickname.

Where did all that slick talk go now? 

“Yeah, y-yeah we’re good ma.” He responds finally, optics low when your light chuckle reaches his ears. 

You slide your hands up and down his midsection plating, teasing at this point. How was he supposed to focus on helping you learn when you touch under his plates like that? When your fingers slide over his thighs and over the skirt plate over and over, the pace only makes him want to thrust into your touch.

He felt perverted sort of, getting off on you exploring him in the name of science. That was such bullshit. He looks down at you, watching you pinch your lip between your teeth. Oh….you liked this. Your thighs pressed together as your tongue darts out to lick your lips. 

You look up at him again, smile mischievous. And before he could ask any questions you slid you hand right back to his chassis and vocalizer. Oh that was a moan without a doubt. You hum in satisfaction, you’re practically playing with him, his body. It wasn’t helping that he hadn’t been touched like this in so long either p.

“Wanna tell me what happens if I keep touching you like this?” You purr, seeing Mirage avoid eye contact. 

“C’mon ma, don’t mess with me like this.” He breathes out, hollow.

You stop your ministries after hearing tires and revving come to a halt. With footsteps approaching you stand quickly, Mirage doing the same. He crosses his arms over his chest and leaning against the wall as if he’d been caught while you shove the papers into your bag and swallow hard. You’d never moved so fast in your life.

Noah enters, feeling as if he’s just interrupted something but panicking once he realizes the predicament you were about ot be in. Why were you two here? Did Mirage even think this through? Probably not.  He glances back at the other 3 bots behind him, trying to find a quick solution to hide you. But, before he could get any sort of plan out, three other robots similar to Mirage walked in, and one of them, was not at all pleased. 

“Primeee, i had no idea youd be back so soon!”

_______________________________________

Lemme know waht yall think in the comments lmao and let me know if you wanna be added to the taglist as well!

Mini Taglist: @gniteruirui @veggiepizzababy panty-h03

[pizza-writes]

Famous Last Words

Hunter x Fem!Reader

Summary: You’ve been kidnapped and it’s up to Hunter and the boys to save you.

Warnings: kidnapping, mention of violence, the kidnapper being creepy with reader

Rating: 16+ for mentions of certain violence that is probably not appropriate for young eyes

Notes: This is pre-Echo era. Sorry, y’all. Also I actually really like the antagonist in this but I made him extra creepy because I wanted to give Hunter ✨Motivation✨

Word count: 1.8k

You stared down the mirage an uncountable distance from where you stood. The heat paved the way for sweat to coat your skin. It was disgusting. Dry, unforgiving, ruthless, exhausting. One might wonder if you were describing the climate or the chilling presence of the bounty hunter flanking you.

“I would never let someone kidnap me.”

Famous last words. That was your exact response to Hunter’s concern in Mos Espa. Looking back, you would slap yourself if you had the chance. But, seeing that you don’t have an inter-dimensional third hand that can clap through the thick skull of your past self, you opted for a very deep sigh—one of many you’d very expressively given to your captor.

Speaking of which, Cad Bane took that as a sign to rest his hand on your shoulder. Yeah, that’s right. Cad Bane. Oh how you wished for that third hand… His blaster’s barrel flirted with your temple and ensured that you didn’t make any moves. You felt his uncanny patience through the thick, hot air of the desert planet.

“Maybe I won’t give you back,” the man drawled, bringing to close a soliloquy he’d started an eternity ago. “I’d be far fetched to let such a pretty thing go.”

You shifted your weight and huffed out another long sigh. The blue guy snickered at you but you ignored him. No, he wouldn’t win. You’d keep your cool.

The throng of an engine met your ears and you perked up. The Havoc Marauder buzzed over and landed close-by, sending clouds of sand into the air. You eyed Bane—he, like his goons that he had hired for this op, remained unfazed. His poise stood calm even when Hunter and Wrecker emerged from the shuttle with vengeance in their stride.

“We have the credits,” Hunter said. He stopped short when Bane’s men forced him to.

“Shame. I was just reconsidering our arrangement. See, clone, I don’t think you realize what a fine gem you had.”

You glared at him. “They didn’t ‘have’ me, perve.”

“He didn’t train you very well, did he, pet?”

You winced and pulled away, but he held you down, calling you a “naughty girl.” Hunter’s visor caught sunlight as it tilted downward. His hand drifted to his side arm.

“Your move, clone.”

Hunter paused and his head cocked to the side. His hand shifted. You recognized the signal for the unseen marksman.

“I don’t think so,”

You frowned. Bane chortled.

“Scared?”

Hunter must have sensed something that you couldn’t. His tone steadied as he said, “You come to me,”

“Walk, little lady.”

Wrecker and Hunter simultaneously brought out their blasters. Hunter shook his head. “No. Be a gentleman and walk her over,”

“Think she can’t walk? I didn’t actually have my way with her.”

Wrecker thrust his blaster towards Bane. “Talk about her like that one more time.”

In an instant, all of the men surrounding you mirrored him. Hunter scanning the group, blaster ready. Your captor tutted. “Don’t threaten me, boy. I have more than twice the firepower.”

You chuckled as the Marauder’s cannons fired up. “Idiot.”

Hunter stood a little taller, “You’ll come to me if it’s safe to walk that path through the energy field. Now, you’re going to escort Y/N to me or you’ll get to see just how much firepower we have.”

“I’m no fool. You’d better not try anything,”

“Don’t tempt me,”

The blue man sighed. He grabbed your bicep tightly and forced you to the side. With a frown, you complied. He took a very curved path to get to your guys. A few paces away from Hunter, Bane stopped and pushed you. You stumbled into Hunter who kept you upright, staring the other man down. You didn’t really need to hold onto him, but with his arm around you, it was the perfect excuse.

“How did you know?”

Hunter’s voice rumbled through his chest, “I have my ways,”

Bane nodded and looked back at you, red eyes piercing your soul before he tipped his hat. “Goodbye, little lady. You were lovely.”

“Don’t push it,” Hunter warned. Bane raised both hands in surrender and slowly backed away. Hunter dropped the case of credits into the sand. It rattled, audibly exposing the hefty price he’d gathered in return for you.

“Sarge,” Wrecker muttered, raising his blaster.

Hunter’s helmet jerked up to the man with a data pad in hand furiously tapping. The goons suddenly scattered away from the field Hunter had had you walk around. Hunter shouted into his comm, “Now!”

Bane lurched forward with a shout, falling to his knees. The man with the data pad collapsed, splaying across the ground. Steam rose steadily from a hole in his back. Then another did the same, followed by another. Bane looked up at Hunter in anger.

“You broke the rules, clone!”

Hunter silently nodded to Wrecker. The big man scooped you up and took off running.

You looked back as Cross’s blaster bolt struck the blue man again. This one didn’t hit home. Bane struggled to his feet and engaged the thrusters on his boots. In an instant he flew overhead and caught up with you. He began a volley of blaster fire on your trio but Hunter quickly sent him careening towards the sand. You loaded up in the ship and Wrecker towered by the open ramp, covering Hunter until he made it aboard. You raced to the cockpit as Tech took the shuttle towards a nearby plateau. That was where you spotted Crosshair packing up his gear. Tech swooped in to pick him up, and soon you were headed for the stars.

“Yea-hah!” Wrecker shouted as he barged into the cockpit, followed by the other two. “Another successful mission!”

You gasped, a faux look of hurt on your face. “That’s… all I am to you?”

His expression dropped, “I—er… no, you’re… that’s—“

With a laugh, you got up and hugged him tight. “I’m messing, Wrecker. Thanks for coming for me,”

He grinned and picked you up in a near-bone-crushing hug. “We missed you, Y/N!”

“Augh I missed you too. Maker, I missed you guys.” You caught a glance of Hunter. He stood taut, brows furrowed. That same dark expression stayed on his face.

“You are one expensive mission,” Tech glanced at you as Wrecker set you down. “15,000 credits.”

“Not really!” Wrecker danced in place a moment and shoved past Hunter and Cross to the back of the ship. You watched him pick up a small box. He returned, huge smile on his face. “I picked this up with one of Cross’s blaster attachments before we took off.”

“Normally, you’d be dead,” Cross hummed, sticking a fresh toothpick between his teeth, “but I guess this can slide.”

Hunter patted his brother’s shoulder, “Good job, Wrecker.” Then to Crosshair: “And nice shooting up there. Don’t think we would’ve made it out of there without you.”

Cross and Wrecker both gave Hunter an appreciative grin. You glanced at your pilot, “You too, Tech. Thanks for decoding my awful distress call.”

“It was not difficult.”

After a while of discussing the meat of the mission, Hunter set a hand on your shoulder and nodded to the door. You followed him out.

You patted Gonky’s head lovingly as you strode past him. Standing next to Hunter, you sighed, appreciating the feeling of being home. The Marauder didn’t smell or look the best, but it was home, and so were the four troops that manned it. This especially stood for Hunter. Over some time, you two had grown much closer than you ever could’ve dreamt.

When he turned to face you the puppy-ness of his eyes caught you off-guard. He took both of your hands in his. “Did they hurt you?”

You met his soft gaze and shook your head. “They hardly touched me. I think they were only interested in the payment until Bane caught eyes.”

His expression went dark again. “Did that bastard—”

“No,” you shook your head and reached up to cup his cheek reassuringly. “he told the truth.” You sighed, “I’m sorry about all of this. I don’t know how I got separated from you all. It all happened so quickly.”

“Cyare, there was nothing you could’ve done,”

“There’s always something I could’ve done different. I could’ve stayed with you. I could’ve paid better attention. I could’ve listened to you—”

“Shh,” he hushed, running his fingers through your hair. “What-if’s won’t change anything,” He shook his head. “What’s done is done. And you’re here now. You’re safe.”

He rested his forehead against yours, arms wrapping around your middle. His brows furrowed, “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“I’d be even more okay if you kissed me,”

He smiled, leaning in slowly, “Tempting.”

You tilted your head to meet his. His lips brushed yours but he held back. You breathed slowly, taking in the moment. His warmth fanned across your face, sending comfort through your bones, and you knew that there was nothing in the galaxy you would trade for him. His protective arms draped around you, his forehead pressed against yours. You melted into him, letting your shoulders relax for the first time in days.

And then he kissed you so gently. You wondered for a moment if you’d imagined it. He pulled you in and deepened the kiss, holding onto you like you might be torn away at any moment. You gradually backed up until your back was pressed against the wall. His touch addicting, your deprived heart drew his in.

“We probably shouldn’t do this here,” he hummed. You paused to listen to his reasoning, but Hunter continued to leave long kisses along your neck, making it difficult to focus on anything else.

“I think you’re right,”

Hunter sighed and stood straight, peering longingly down at you. His voice was velvet to your ears. “I missed you, meshla,”

“Yes, but this isn’t the best place… Later?”

He grinned, tilting your chin up between his finger and thumb. He lowered his tone and said, “Anything for you, cyare.”

“Hmm, I bet they’re wondering what’s taking so long.”

“Frankly, if any of them don’t know at this point, I’d be shocked.”

You took his hand and left a final lingering kiss on his lips. “We still don’t want one of your bored brothers coming back here and seeing something he shouldn’t.”

“Maybe I don’t mind,” he slinked his arms back around you. As if on queue the cockpit’s door hissed open and Hunter jolted back, eyes wide as his face of horror donned. Wrecker froze, staring at him. Crosshair’s face melted into that of a sly cat.

You burst out laughing.

Famous last words.

//~//~//

Thanks so much for reading! Don’t forget to comment and reblog to show support for the artists of tumblr!

Masterlist

[zerogravityinq]

Some thoughts on Dick (Grayson, you pervs)

I am genuinely at a loss on how to write him now

You strip away the Eldest Daughter Syndrome and a lot of his trauma, what's left?

Like even in my canon, he's like at the tail end of his ankle biting age (not that he's less feral) so I can't play him as little menace forever

I want him to date other people (notably Kori and maybe Wally or Roy) but like I want Tom to be endgame. That is so much time since they don't really settle until they are in their 30s

I want the Mirage thing to happen but like...Catalina doesn't make sense unless I introduce Ric early in but Ric also doesn't make sense in this au so yeah....

Wedding gonna go crazy tho. Not the whole Raven being a demon door and shit but like I got plans

I still want Slade to want Dick as his apprentice but like...do I really?

Idfk what to do about Blockbuster and Heartless and this whole thing with Zuccos daughter being Dick's sister???? I still don't understand that last one.

[sofiamantegafan110]

RATING HELLFIRE GALA OUTFITS (LONG POST ALERT!)

EMMA FROST- 1. I LIKE THE ONE-PIECE OUTFIT AND THE HEADGEAR. PLUS, THE SHOES ARE PRETTY. THIS IS MY FAVORITE LOOK OF THE THREE. 10/10

2. I LIKE THE CROWN AND THE POWER-GIRL-STYLE BOOB WINDOW BUT THE OUTFIT COVERS EVERYTHING. IT’S SO UN-EMMA. 5/10

3. I LIKE THE BEAD-STYLE DRESS AND THE GLOVES BUT THE SIDE-SLIT THINGIES REALLY PUT ME OFF. I MEAN, DOES SHE EVEN HAVE LINGERIE UNDER THERE? THERE’S A LOT OF PERVS IN THE X-MEN. WHAT IF, LIKE, TOAD OR FABIAN CORTEZ TRY TO TAKE A LOOK UNDER THERE? PLUS, NOTHING CAN BEAT THE FIRST OUTFIT. I GIVE THIS A 8/10

ROGUE- I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS OUTFIT. THE PERM, THE SUNGLASSES AND THE COLLAR. IT’S SO FITTING. 9/10

ANGEL- I MEAN, I LIKE THE HAREM PANTS BUT THE REST JUST DOESN’T LOOK THAT INTERESTING. 4/10

RACHEL SUMMERS- 9/10. I LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS ONE TOO BUT I JUST DON’T THINK IT’D SURVIVE THE COMPETITION.

CAPTAIN BRITAIN- 9/10. IT’S A GOOD OUTFIT BUT I DON’T LIKE THE ARMORED CHESTPLATE.

STORM- EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS OUTFIT IS AMAZING. I LOVE THE HAIR AND THE STORM AESTHETIC. 10/10

KATE PRYDE- 6/10. I LIKE THE SLEEVES, THE COLLAR AND THE BONE-PIN THINGIES BUT IT DOESN’T LOOK LIKE SOMETHING SHE’D WEAR.

PENANCE- 10/10. MONET IS FASHIONABLE AS ALWAYS. I LIKE THE HEADGEAR, THE HAIR, THE PANTS AND THE GLOVES.

MARVEL GIRL- ALSO 10/10. I ESPECIALLY LIKE THE HAIR, CAPE, SHOULDER PADS, SLEEVES AND THE CROWN-THINGY RADIATING AROUND HER HEAD.

CYCLOPS- 6/10. CYCLOPS ISN’T THE MOST FASHIONABLE X-MAN BUT I DO LIKE THE VISOR AND THE COLOR SCHEME.

MASTERMIND- 2/10. THE VICTORIAN ERA DOESN’T SUIT HIM. NEXT!

SELENE- SOMEONE COMMENTED THAT SHE HAD A NICKI MINAJ- STYLE PONYTAIL WHICH I LIKE AND UNLIKE MASTERMIND, THE VICTORIAN LOOK IS A BIG HIT FOR HER. BUT MEANWHILE, IT DOESN’T MATCH UP TO THE OL’ CORSET AND LINGERIE. 7/10

MADROX- 5/10. NOT SURE ABOUT THIS ONE.

SUNSPOT- 9/10. IT’S PRETTY GOOD. AND I DON’T LIKE A LOT OF HIS LOOKS.

WOLVERINE- 9/10. IT’S NOT AS GOOD AS THE OTHERS BUT I LIKE THE YELLOW AND BLUE COLOR SCHEME. THE GLOVES ARE GOOD TOO.

SYNCH- 10/10. THE JACKET IS THE ONLY THING I LIKE ABOUT THIS OUTFIT BUT IT’S TOO GOOD TO PUT ON A LOWER SCALE.

CANNONBALL- 3/10. THE COLOR SCHEME’S THE ONLY THING I LIKE ABOUT THIS.

SUNFIRE- 4/10. THE MASK IS THE ONLY THING APPEALING TO MY INTERESTS.

POLARIS- 10/10. SOME PEOPLE MIGHT NOT LIKE THAT IT LOOKS LIKE SHE’S BEING STRANGLED BY A POOL FLOATIE BUT I THINK IT LOOKS GOOD.

NORTHSTAR- 3/10. THE HAIR’S THE ONLY THING I LIKE ABOUT THIS.

DAKEN- 2/10. REALLY, DUDE? YOU’RE WAY TOO GOOD-LOOKING FOR A TUX.

AURORA- 10/10. THE DRESS IS A NICE TOUCH.

PRODIGY- 10/10. WORK IT, DAVID! HE LOOKS PRETTY GOOD PULLING OFF A DRAG QUEEN OUTFIT. I ESPECIALLY LIKE THIS WINGS AND EYE MAKEUP.

EYE-BOY- 9/10. NICE WORK, TREV. LETTING YOUR EYES SEE THE LIGHT. I LIKE THE DRESS-THINGY.

BISHOP- 8/10. I LIKE THE RED. AND THE SUNGLASSES.

SEBASTIAN SHAW- 1/10. NO. YOU WEREN’T FASHIONABLE BEFORE THE EYEPATCH AND WHEELCHAIR AND YOU CERTAINLY AREN’T NOW.

PYRO- 5/10. IT’S ALRIGHT BUT BASIC.

BANSHEE- 4/10. NO COMMENT.

ICEMAN- 3/10. NO, BOBBY. JUST NO.

PSYLOCKE- 10/10. THE DRESS, THE PURPLENESS AND THE HAIR ARE ALL JUST SO AMAZING.

MISTER SINISTER- 2/10. BASIC.

EXODUS- 7/10. GOOD BUT IT JUST LOOKS LIKE THE STUFF HE USUALLY WEARS.

HAVOK- 8/10. THE COAT IS SO STYLISH. IT’S A NICE TOUCH.

MYSTIQUE- 10/10. THE EVIL QUEEN LOOK ALWAYS SUITED HER AND THE FEATHERS HELP.

DAZZLER- 10/10. I LOVE THE SPARKLES. ALISON ALWAYS TRAVELS IN STYLE.

LOA- 9/10. THE LIONFISH DRESS AND SPINES ARE GOOD BUT SHE’S MAKING A MOVE ON MERCURY AND IS TRYING TO RUIN THE BEST RELATIONSHIP OF KRAKOA.

MERCURY- 10/10. SHE’S LIKE A PSYCHEDELIC RAINBOW. IT’S SO COOL THAT SHE CAN PULL OFF NAKEDNESS. HOPEFULLY SHE WON’T GET TOGETHER WITH LOA. REALLY, LOA JUST NEEDS TO SHOVE IT. GO CESSILY! YASS KWEEN!

NIGHTCRAWLER- 5/10- BASIC. NEXT!

PIXIE- 10/10. I NEVER THOUGHT I’D ADMIT THIS BUT THE GOTHIC LOOK IS PRETTY. AND LET’S NOT FORGET ABOUT THE PERM AND BUTTERFLIES IN HER HAIR.

MIRAGE- 6/10. NOT SURE ABOUT THIS BUT I DO LOVE THE SKIRT.

KARMA- 9/10. I LOVE THE PINK.

MAGIK- 10/10. SHE’S REALLY PULLING OUT ALL THE STOPS. IT’S AMAZING.

WARPATH- 4/10. THE SPIKY SHOULDER PADS ARE NICE BUT THE REST; NO.

MAGNETO- 6/10. I LIKE THE STEAMPUNK PIMP STYLE BUT IT’D LOOK GOOD ON SOMEONE ELSE. LIKE WIND DANCER. WHY COULDN’T SOFIA GET DRESSED UP FOR THE HELLFIRE GALA?! WHYYYYYYYYYY?????

THE UNIVERSE IS HORSESHIT.

FRENZY- 10/10. LOVE THE BLUE, THE HEADGEAR AND THE DRESS AND SLEEVES. SHE’S JUST SO AMAZING.

WIZ KID- 10/10. ONCE AGAIN, HAVING FEMALE ATTIRE WORKS PERFECTLY. ARE WE SURE WIZ KID ISN’T ACTUALLY GENDERQUEER?

KHORA- 10/10 OUR NEWEST ADDITION IS WORKING IT. THE HAIR AND THE LOLITA-STYLE IS SO AMAZING. IT’S TOO BAD SHE DIDN’T ACTUALLY APPEAR IN THE ISSUE. WHY COULDN’T KHORA APPEAR IN S.W.O.R.D.’S ADDITION TO THE HELLFIRE GALA CROSSOVER?! WHYYYYYYYY???????

THE UNIVERSE IS HORSESHIT. AGAIN.

MANIFOLD- 10/10. I LIKE THE JACKET.

JUBILEE- 8/10. THE DRESS IS GOOD BUT MAYBE SHE SHOULD DO MORE WITH HER HAIR.

GAMBIT- 5/10. JUST NO.

MONARCH- 8/10. I DIDN’T LIKE THE OUTFIT BUT I LIKE THE MONOCHROME LOOK.

GLORIANA- 9/10. PRETTY DRESS, PRETTY WINGS, PRETTY COLORS BUT I’M GETTING KINDA BORED OF THIS.

RICTOR- 8/10. THE VINE IMPRINT ON THE CLOAK IS HOT.

DOMINO AND SAGE- BOTH 9/10. I THINK THEY SHOULD’VE DONE MORE. I’M NOT POSTING THE PICS OF WOLVERINE, BEAST AND KID OMEGA BECAUSE THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME.

WELL, THAT’S THAT. ENJOY!

[am24x2]

Can you do a John Constantine using magic on you NSFW? Please and Thank you😊

Sure thing!

John Constantine using Magic on his S/O NSFW

John is a kinky bastard as is being a human

He likes sex, we know this, and it doesn’t matter who or what the species is

And of course he’s try wild things with his one night stands

But with you it was different

He didn’t want to hurt or scar you mentally

But you were insistent and honestly he couldn’t say no to you

This is the first and only time you can really call him a sucker for someone so gloat in it while you can

It’s all you got…

At first he’s so light things

Being versed in magic he can do a number of things

Usually it’s for attack or defense or even banishing, but he’s got a few personal tricks

Like generating electricity, not too much, but enough to add to the pleasure

Be it between your legs or your chest, a tiny told of electricity can only excite you more

Make allow his touch to feel tenfold what it is normally

Really make all your nerves come alive and feel everything he has to offer

His fav is when he gets more comfortable and brave with himself

The perv may sneak up on you when invisible

He doesn’t do it often, he doesn’t go invisible often, it’s a hassle and a strain after all but sometimes he likes to mess with you

Isn’t really sexual, more like wants to scare you when you’re in the shower

And your not so serious anger and his laughter turns to shower sex

Very rarely will he watch you when I subirle if you’re pleasuring yourself, after all he wants to join! Watching is not worth it…

Isn’t all into making you see anything different with hallucinations or mirages

Or whatever the term is, I can’t think of the word!

After all he wants you to know who’s pleasuring you

If anything it’ll be two of him you’ll see and it’ll likely be when he works with a vibrator/some type of toy

And with your comfort

May put a mild curse on you

Something fun for once rather than life devastating

Like every time you said a certain word it’d feel like either he or your do Keith vibrator was inside you

Hear a certain word and you may moan out unintentionally

(That’s more for his pleasure than yours)

And definitely, when you hear him whisper some weird word only he knows and no other normal human will you orgasm

It’ll be his last reveal with you

He’ll build you up to the other stuff to make sure you’re okay with something to this level

And most the time he won’t do it in public

Most the time…

Maybe if you force him out to a fancy dinner will he casually bring it up

To see your reaction to cumming in public

After all, you brought him out here

He was perfectly happy being held up at home

Maybe you’ll think twice

But if anything, you’ve escaped his grasp

Because at home he’s free to say that word as much as he’s like without having to worry~

But don’t worry he still has a heart, he may be an ass but he’s still considerate

So he’ll give you a break

He’ll make sure you’re okay

And he’ll definitely be on board when you ask for something even kinkier

Who knows, maybe you’re into the idea of bringing a third into the bedroom

Most specifically a non human third

Good thing he’s fluent in his skills of necromancy and golemancy~

[darksaiyangoku]

Bloodlines AU: Apex Cosplays

Joethefriendlyponybro: I've got another skit for y'all. And this time, it's a skit based off of DarkSaiyan's cosplay stories but set in my next gen RWBY AU. Let's see what I can share what strange stuff me and DarkSaiyan came up with, shall we?

[Vale City Comic-Con, the Belladonna-Wukong family's planned vacation spot for quite some time was just down the street. At a nearby bus stop stood Sun and his and Blake's daughter, Alexandria. Alex for short.

Sun wore a mustard-yellow jumpsuit along with brown gloves and tinted orange goggles. His hair was scruffier than usual to reflect his cosplay getup as Mirage from Apex Legends.

To his side sat Alex wearing a mostly black but also purple getup, her long and scruffy black hair wrapped up in a ponytail as Wraith from the same game.]

Sun: Whoo!!!! Haven’t been in cosplay gear in such a long time. I feel like I’m back at school again, hehe.

Alex: *removes eye contacts, revealing green eyes* Dad, when was the last time you dressed up?

Sun: Let’s see.......I think it was back when Team CFVY were visiting Vacuo. We all decided to cosplay as the MCU heroes. *chuckling* I called dibs on Star Lord. Neptune was piiiiiissed!

Alex: *jumps on top of bus stop* I think Elsa wanted to go as Sif this year. But, with tending to her folks' restaurant, I guess she had to work on filling out orders for con-goers.

Sun: Well, at least Ren and Nora are making some great cash with their kids this year. *muttering* Blake isn’t taking this as well as I thought she would...

Alex: Is mom taking it that bad? Sorry, cat ears. Couldn't help but pick it up.

Sun: Not really. She just hasn’t been in cosplay in long time. It’s kinda strange for her to be back in the den of the nerds. That.... and she’s getting looks from some thirsty boys.

Alex: You're both running Menagerie's own combat school. Not to mention ensuing Faunus relations across Remnant- -Wait. Who's ogling my mom? Who do I have to cast a hex on to remind them she's a married woman?

Sun: *points* That guy on the right at the bench on the end of the street.

[She turned to see a man thirsting over a photo of Blake on her Scroll. Alex immediately went into pack mode, shouting at the creep.]

Alex: *glares at creep, eyes glowing turquoise* HEY SHITHEAD! My mom is taken, so why don't you back off before I twist you into a pretzel, fondue you and feed you to an Ursa?! *bares teeth, resembling fangs*

Perv: *looks up* Oh my- -! *runs away*

Sun: *nods head* That’s my girl!

Alex: *grins at Sun, eyes no longer glowing* I aim to please! *looks around* Where is mom, anyway?

Sun: *smiling* Getting a smoothie. I might join her later. You're still meeting up with Rhiannon, right?

Alex: Yeah. Rhiannon and I are supposed to meet up at that smoothie joint. I wonder what's taking both of them so long?

Sun: Probably got sidetracked. You know what Remnant’s like.

[Before they continue, Alex gets ambushed from behind in a surprise embrace by a red-haired, ponytailed girl with green eyes and a blue tunic.]

Rhiannon: Sneak hug!

Alex: MREOW!

Sun: WOAH!!!! Rhiannon, hi!

Rhiannon: *sets Alex down, cackling* What's good, Mr. Wukong?

[Blake shortly followed. Dressed in black military-style gear as she noticed her daughter's friend being as sneaky as ever. She was panting as if she were out of breath and holding a drink.]

Alex: *stands down, blinking* Rhi? I thought you picked a costume.

Blake: *panting* Finally...got...that...smoothie.

Alex: *looks up* Uh, what was the hold up?

Blake: The thirsty boys, honey. They can be a handful.

Rhiannon: Mrs. B tried jogging in her Bangalore costume as well. Guess that thick padding got to her, first.

Blake: In my defense, I didn’t think it would be that heavy. I've definitely jogged in padding before.

Alex: Never said you didn't. So me and Rhi are headed to the park. Dad told me a bit about your cosplay funk. *lowers ears* Something wrong?

Blake: I haven’t done this in a while. I feel kinda rusty. But... *blushing* I needed a break from all the stress so we could be with you and Rhiannon. *looks down sadly*

Alex: *puts hand on Blake's shoulder* Mom, you look fine. That's why we dressed up for this con, right?

Rhiannon: *folds arms* She's got you there, Mrs. B. Not like I went for it. I just wanted to hang with you guys.

Blake: *smiles* True. You’re all right, I gotta loosen up.

Alex: *points up* I request as your daughter and aspiring Huntress to enjoy yourself since there's a lot on our plate once the school year starts back up again. Besides, *phases out torso, arms and lower legs* I can look the part as Wraith with my Semblance.

Blake: *laughs* Okay, I surrender!

Alex: *phases back in* Also, I'll be sure to smoke any thirsty boy who gives you bedroom eyes.

Rhiannon: I can tie 'em up with one of my rope bolts if it'll help.

Blake: I'll handle them myself, girls. But thank you.

Alex: Whatever you say, mom. *hugs Blake* And thanks for paying for this trip.

[Blake smiled, embracing her daughter back.]

Blake: Oh, honey. You deserve a treat for your hard work.

Sun: Did it have to come from my bank account though?

Alex: *releases Blake* Oh. Uh...Rhi?

Rhiannon: I 'unno. Some major bounty or escort mission he undertook? *checks Scroll* Come on, Alex. Let's get our photoshoot done.

Sun: Have fun, pumpkin. Try not to cloak in public.

Alex: Sure, dad. *walks off to the park with Rhiannon*

Sun: So, what mission was it last? The- -The one where I would split my paycheck with you to pay for this con trip?

Blake: I think it was the mission where I teamed up with the Red Flowers to stop a horde of Creeps.

Sun: *puts finger up to chin* Or, was it the trawler escort at Sockeye Junction? You know how pirates get around fishing villages.

Blake: Or maybe it was the one where Yang almost set a town on fire to kill some Arachnoids?

Sun: That's still a dumb name for spider Grimm. I don't know how Professort Port outvoted Oobleck on that but- -Nevermind. *half hugs Blake, wrapping tail around her waste and holding her like a dancer, barely spilling the smoothie* That's a good look for you, bee tee dubs. *grins*

Blake: *giggles* Sun, stop it! We’re in public.

Sun: 20 years of marriage. I think I've earned the chance to do stuff like this with you.

Blake: Gods. You’re so mischievous. *wraps her arms behind Sun’s neck* And that’s why I love you.

Sun: *picks up smoothie with tail* Love you too, babe. Shall I give you some sugar?

Blake: *pulls him in* Do it, honey.

[Sun pulled Blake in for a kiss. They practically glowed like bioluminescent mushrooms as their auras glowed with their embrace. They let go upon hearing a sloshy splat hit the pavement.]

Sun: *notices spilled smoothie* Uh, whoops.

Blake: Oh no! *teary-eyed* Damn you gravity!

Sun: Uh...I think there are milkshakes at the local Beetroot's we can get instead. Plus, their new salmon burger looks pretty good. *pulls out debit card* And I got membership there! Huah! *tosses debit card into smoothie pile* ...Man, how did the shopkeep do it back then?!

Blake: ...I like salmon.

Sun: See? Win-win! And I'll pay for the milkshakes.

Blake: *small smile* I’d like that.

Sun: Good husband powers no jutsu! *roundhouse kicks, tripping and landing ass-first into the smoothie pile, crushing cup* Ah, crap. These jeans were a rental.

Blake: *laughing* I guess now we’re even!

Sun: Yay. Anyway, onto the burgers! *wraps arm and tail around Blake* I'll let you wear my cosplay goggles for sex tonight~! *winks*

Blake: *purring* Mmm, I like sound of that.

BLATANT TRANSITION THING

Joethefriendlyponybro: Well, that was certainly something. Hopefully your viewers enjoy it as much as I enjoyed doing this skit with you. This was fun, thanks.

DarkSaiyanGoku: Don’t mention it bro, always happy to help out. I might do more of these RPs more often with anyone else, if they ask.

[ian-the-existential-crisis]

Just a small FYI about my Apex ships

OTP - Mirage and Octane

OT3 - Mirage, Wraith, Bloodhound ( with a very small side of Caustic, Octane, and Mirage only cause a person who commissioned me made me see it as more than just the og sweat squad)

Ultimate fanboy but never gets romantic because its really just adoration (expect to see this alot) - Crypto and Caustic

Low key love but don't want to admit so people won't call me a perv - Lifeline and Bangalore (with a side of Wraith and Wattson)

Brotp - Lifeline and Octane / Gibraltar and Bangalore / Mirage and Pathfinder / Wraith and Crypto / Wattson and Pathfinder

Notp - Wattson and Octane / Wattson and Caustic

Side note: I love Makoa, and happily ship him with his boyfriend who, fuck canon, is alive and well in ALL OF THE FICS I WRITE. Even if they dont show up in the fic, they are alive and living happily together.

[billvsamerica]

Sin City

We’ve all noticed the lingering stare of a pervert.

On the high street when you’re shopping for Christmas presents or in the cinema when you’re watching the late night showing of Toy Story on your own again. But imagine you’re in a city full of them. Tight polyester trousers with flared bottoms, beer bellys flowing over the top of cheap plastic belts, topped off with a nice scruffy pair of Reeboks from the late 90s. But enough about my dad, this is the story of our latest adventure west.

A savory couple in a far from savory place

I always thought Vegas was a debauched place. That’s where it gets the nickname - Naughty Little Town for Naughty People. Prostitution and weed are both legal, but somehow in a much less savoury way than Amsterdam. With all that being said, we could never have known that the most morally reprehensible act we would witness would take place on the connecting flight from Chicago to Vegas.

Some of the most exciting parts of a holiday go on in the walkway of the airplane. Thoughts flood your mind: ‘Where will we be sitting?’ ‘What are my chances of survival if this thing goes down?’ ‘Who will the “third” person be?’ ‘Hopefully, there isn’t a “third” person!’ ‘Oh God, this things coming down, I’ve had a premonition. I need to warn everybody else on board.’ ‘No, don’t ruin it. It’s fine. You’re being stupid.’ ‘Oh, Jesus Christ! I just signed our death warrant.’ ‘I wonder if they have a TV?!’ etc.

Shelby and I took our spots next to the "third" person in the window seat, who we immediately disliked just for existing in a space near us, and opened our books: Shelby was reading an interesting book about the Appalachian area of America and taking on a challenging Sudoku puzzle. I was reading a different kind of book, still just as challenging though, the instructions on how to work the TV.

After the internal struggle of whether it’s okay to ignore the air stewardesses safety announcements, the passengers settled into the flight. The aircraft was not quite Wright Brothers old, but it was missing the mod cons of a transatlantic flight, like being able to choose an individual movie. However, it did have DirectTV channels. Shelby and I stuck on the Oscar nominated Can You Ever Forgive Me?.

I glanced over at the "third" person's film choice. I couldn't recognise the show, but the vibrant colours and teenage actors led me to believe it was some sort of kid's show. I looked at the man. No, it wasn't a large child traveling alone. It was definitely a man - a man wearing a tight t shirt that accentuated his man breast. I poked Shelby, she grunted her usual response:

"What the fuck do you want, fuckwit?"

She said, in a loving way though.

“What show is that?”

She glanced across at his screen.

"i-Carly"

"No, you Shelby. Now, what show is that?"

"It's called i-Carly. Now will you shut the fuck up?"

Bit weird.  Maybe he just put it on by mistake. Probably not watching it.

Fast forward three hours, I-Carly is still on his TV. And the man is inches from the screen. I looked at him intently. Does he not know we can see him? He's not in some sort of invisible perv’ chamber, although I'm sure those exist somewhere in Vegas.

I looked down to make sure nothing dodgy is...  Unfortunately, the man was definitely touching himself. Now, I'll give him a bit of credit. His hand was outside the trousers, but that only made it slightly better. Suddenly, it dawned on me - Shelby was in the middle. I wasn’t worried about her, per say. He was clearly into much younger people, but she might accidentally be hit with his flailing elbow or something. She looked across at him then up and me and mouthed,

"What do we do?"

For the last thirty minutes I tried my hardest to put the man off. I gazed out the window and loudly said a range of off-putting phrases:

"Wow! Look at that skyline," "Can't believe we're flying in the sky right now!" "Do you know why they stopped serving peanuts on flights? What about the people allergic to pretzels? Nobody ever thought of them!"

If that lot didn’t put him off, nothing would.

As we walked from the airplane into Vegas airport, we discussed what we should do. I was going to confront him, and say what? Don't do that sort of thing, you sick freak. I was going to grab him by the scruff of the neck, shake him and say,

“That's digusting, you sweaty little cretin!”

I was going to be the hero and stop all bad things happening forever everywhere... I... I... I picked up our bags and we got in a cab to Caesar’s Palace.

The taxi from the airport into Vegas took us adjacent to the strip. Huge replica buildings designed to look like other things. It’s all smoke and mirrors, a mirage in the middle of the dessert like the magic shows that run every night of the week. After taking a detour we didn’t ask for and racking up a huge bill, we arrived at Caesar’s Palace.

Anybody fancy a crap? (That’s not my dad, but a man in a shirt)

We walked through the modern building designed to look like the Colosseum - a gaudy Rome rip off - and bumped into our own ancient relics in the form of my parents. We hugged. They were here again, but their bags weren’t.

That night, we had a quick go on the slot machines, or as cool locals call them, ‘the slotties’ (and lost a bit of money). My dad became slightly enamoured with the virtual blackjack game, and then we all headed to bed to recuperate for the next day. The city may never sleep, but we were certainly going to.

The next morning, we looked out through our curtains at the view of the famous Belagio Hotel’s dancing fountain show, the Eiffel Tower, and a giant poster of Donnie Osmond. We had a fat breakfast, then walked down the strip.

Along the way, we ducked into a casino for a cheeky lil dabble. Dad spotted the virtual blackjack, and I saw his eyes light up. He was straight on it. We watched eagerly with anticipation as he turned his $20 into $5 and then into $25 and then into $15 and then he cashed out. With his cashed out voucher, I jumped onto a huge slot machine that I had no idea as to the workings. I hit a few buttons, and it flashed on the screen “Extreme!”. The lights started strobing and the lines span like the slick tires on a Ford Escort. My cash started building along with my adrenalin..  15-20-25... It kept going up and up and stopped, eventually, at $85. I took the money out and left the casino $85 richer because I didn’t give my dad his investment back.

What a start! Maybe I was a natural. Next stop, World Poker Tournament, but first, the off license for a can of beer that I could legally drink on the high street. It was like being back in Worcester on a Tuesday morning, I mean Wednesday afternoon, I mean Saturday evening.

The strip was packed with hen-dos, lad’s holidays, and waddling families who wanted a change from Disney. Me and my dad walked passed a man selling his hip-hop CD. I declined.

“Forget you then in your Bill Cosby sweater,” he said and laughed.

This drove me to grab another beer from a CVS. Inside, the cashier said,

“What a lovely sweater!”

Me and dad-livin’ it large Vegas

As you can imagine, I had very mixed emotions on the jumper and have not worn it since.

Shelby and mom stormed ahead up the strip, leaving me and dad to be awkwardly approached by dancing girls requesting a photo with us. It’s as if we looked like a couple of creepy blokes or something. We walked next to a bar where a man was strapped to a wooden chair and being forced to drink a strange green liquid by a woman in her underwear. Normally, this might be cause for alerting the authorities, but not in Vegas.

A group on a stag do walked passed us and my dad turned to me,

“Did you see that shirt? I need to get one of those!”

I had to tell him that it said “VAGITARIAN” not “VEGETARIAN”.  He didn’t want one anymore.

After walking the equivalent of a half marathon up and down the strip, Shelby wanted us to recuperate at one of the West’s staple restaurants, In and Out Burger - a place known for juicy hamburgers. We’d heard that they also had veggie burgers for the three of us who don’t eat the carcasses of dead animals.

Our number came up and we sat down at a table that had just been vacated. The remnants of ravenous tub tubs lay around and an In and Out employee was kind enough to offer to clean it up for us. She picked up a tray with the remains of a sweaty burger on it. In slow motion, the burger, wrapper, and discarded sauce tumbled off the tray and down, down, down, onto my dad’s cream trousers, the only pair he had as his bag was currently somewhere in Uzbekistan.

Turned a corner in Nevada to see the New York Skyline (and a rollercoaster)

This hilarious event only slightly made up for the fact that the veggie burger was two pieces of lettuce and a tomato between a couple of soggy bits of bun. As the name suggests, we were in and out of there real quick.

The next day we went to Fremont Street, the second most famous street in Vegas after the strip. A biting wind whipped through the dimly lit passageway lined with souvenir stores, Irish bars and strip clubs. Grubby looking men stood along the street staring wildly at the tourists passing by. They held cardboard signs that read quite witty things like “I’ll look after your wife while you gamble” and some less witty - “Horny!”.

A woman danced on a huge stage with barely any clothes on while a bunch of homeless people rocked back and forwards in front of her, totally unaware, it seemed, that she was there. An abandoned car with red flashing lights moaned and groaned as a zombie popped out the top. In fairness, it was advertising a local Walking Dead Exhibit, but I wouldn’t have been that surprised if it was actually happening on this street.

Having survived Fremont Street, I decided another dabble was in order (I was continually having these dabbles the whole time, but I’m only going to tell you about the times I won). I selected my machine, one without a chair that looked very old, and put in my note. The machine started to freak out and I knew I was onto another winner - $160 coughed up this time. I was a genius. A genius I tell you and definitely did not spend all that money very quickly in other machines. Ahem.

Join me next time as I recount the next stage of the adventure, our journey to the grandest canyon of them all and beyond to the red rocks of Sedona, Arizona.

[tumblunni]

AWW WTF TOKYO MIRAGE SESSIONS MADE ME FEEL ACTUAL FEELINGS

Its kinds stupid how every single girl has a contrived 'go on a fake date' scene with protag, and all the dialogue choices are pointless cos even if you fuck up and act like an asshole forever all these girls will still wanna jump your dick just cos youre the protag. And also it sucks that like HALF OF THE PARTY only joins super close to the end of the main story, and you wont really get to know them very well unless you go nah to the apocolypse and waste 10 hours doing sidequests. And it also sucks that you have to unlock these sidequests via battling. Like it could have been cool that using people in your party raises their friendship stat, but in practise it just means grinding for hours after youve finished all the actual story content. Like sidequests are supposed to be generally a good way to grind up in between story!

ALSO theoretically the date with Eleonora SHOULD be just as bad as the rest. Like it sounds super shitty that she has to 'learn how to be a normal girl in love' in order to progress her career in showbiz, and apparantly she's never been interested in boys before protag shows her ~the real way~ Like man invoking unfortunate implications of LGBT conversion therapy isnt a good way to start a romance! And its rather repetitive when EVERYONE ELSE also has to go on fake dates with him, and Kiria also has the same 'i need to learn how to be Real Girl from your magical healing dick'. But its even more frustrating with her cos it actually literally is You Are Not Girl.Enough, and it came out of NOWHERE because she wasnt remotely tomboyish?? Like she's just..tough?? Tomboy = being stoic while also wearing super revealimg supermodel high heels and lingerie in battle, apparantly. And its so patronizing cos she's all uwuuuu protagoniiiist i need to be giiiirl~ Like super cutesy moe moe stereotype all of a sudden and of course it was her Real Personality and she was just keepinh it hidden because of all that societal pressure to be gender non conforming, of course! Help her embrace her true stereotypicality and cast away those absolutely minimal traits of non conformism! And then a creepily sexualized scene of her wearing a hello kitty mascot suit in a kids show. And speaking of which its so creepy they sexualize the actual kid too!! Theres a fucking ELEVEN YEAR OLD idol! And her manager 'uncle barry' keeps acting like a creepy pervy stalker fan and she's always all 'i love uncle barry he cares about me so much' and theres like multiple sidequests all about how uncle barry is great and she needs to appreciate him more. But serioisly are we just forgetting he was creeping over a keychain of her?? Like he was introduced so much before we ever saw her and from the pervy way he acted i thought she was meant to be some full grown woman in a gravure show rather than a goddamn 11 year old doing a microwave snacks cooking show with a muppet called microwave chan. And gahh when i saw her design i thought she was 15 at least! And everyone else looks in their 20s but apparantly theyre all underage too and the one who looks like an actual teenager is ELEVEN! they just casually drop in her profile that she's ELEVEN! a guy is perving on an eleven year old and we're meant to appreciate him more as a wholesome uncle???

...man..okay.. Anyway..

The game has a lot of creepy pervy moments BUT one bit in Eleonora's final date did make me feel a minor bit of genuine chemistry there. Or well, just a good romance dialogue from herand still zero personality or likeability from the actual protagonist. Alas!

Ok so it actually kinda sounds just as bad, tho. Out of context the idea of 'here's a quiz about everything we did in the previous dates' sounds kinda abusive. But in context its somehow adorable and wholesome?? Cos Ellie is the tsundere type, but she's one of the least assholish tsunderes ever. If the game wasnt constantly being all 'SHES SO RUDE AND UNGIRLY' and 'BLABLABLA RACISM' at her, i'd even say she's the most naturally written and likeable character! So in the context here its less "i will punish you for not being constantly the perfect boyfriend" and more "i genuinely cant believe you actually like me and im trying to run thru all the evidence in rapid fire while i have a conniption right here". Like man i wish protag had more personality cos its so annoying that he's super oblivious to her going into massive blush mode as she realizes he's ~so considerate and genuinely treasured all those dates~. Except he isnt, he's bland as fuck and gave no indication that he returned her feelings before now, or gave a shit about any of the stuff he apparantly remembered. And he only remembers because you the player did. And you can forget it all and get every question wrong and NOTHING CHANGES! i feel so sorry for her cos even if protag is a big douche she still decides he really does love her and it ends exactly the same.. GAHHHHH

POOR ELLIEEEEeee

So man even tho it was badly executed, i do still like the idea of a "w-wh-whaa, how can you love me?! Prove it with a 5 page thesis!" type moment with an adorkable grump! I might try and work in something similar with my oc Gremory! :3 (tho for him itd be a friendship/family version, not dating sim)

[kucithedownlo-blog]

Playlist for 8/2/19

The Toxic Avenger- Make This Right-Furi(Original Game Soundtrack)

Digitalism- Dynamo-Mirage

Carpenter Brut- Inferno Galore- Leather Teeth

Perturbator- Humans Are Such Easy Prey- Dangerous Days

Gost- Night Crawler- Behemoth

Justice- Chorus- Woman

No_4mat- ResistenZ- City Boy

Kavinsky- ProtoVision- ProtoVision

Siriusmo- High Together (Album Version)- Mosaik

Aphex Twin- Windowlicker- Windowlicker

Alex Gopher- On & On- Back to Basics-EP

 Myd- The Sun- All Inclusive

Digitalism- Destination Breakdown- Mirage

The Toxic Avenger- Gloria- Globe, Vol. 1

Carpenter Brut- Hush Sally, Hush!- Hush Sally, Hush!

Perturbator- Future Club- Dangerous Days

Justice- Parade- Audio, Video, Disco

No_4mat-jus say- 2016

Kavinsky- Odd Look (Album Version)- Odd Look

Siriusmo- Nights Off- Mosaik

Aphex Twin- CHEETAHT7b- Cheetah EP

Alex Gopher- Do It- Back to Basics- EP

Justice- Helix- Audio, Video, Disco

Digitalism- Electric Fist- Lift

The Toxic Avenger- Adrenaline- Globe, Vol.1

Carpenter Brut- Le perv- TRILOGY

Perturbator- Dangerous Days- Dangerous Days

No_4mat- XistenZ- City Boy

Kavinsky- Pacific Coast Highway-Nightcall

[kesomon]

The Flash Vol 1 #231

Aka that one time the Rogues had a villains convention to show off their new anti-Flash weapons (but only Top, Mirror Master, Piper, Weather Wizard and Heatwave showed up) and Scudder wagers a valuable diamond on whose fancy new weapon was the best to take out the Flash

And then this completely random villain shows up, calls himself The Dude, and claims to be the only Rogue to ever beat the Flash, and to prove it he does a demonstration and fights the Flash and indeed kicks his ass and the Rogues are so impressed they declare him the winner of the contest

But then the Flash shows up and strips them all practically naked and steals the diamond back (Flash u Perv)

And then The Dude shows up at a theatre and greets Iris West and takes off his wig and moustache and it’s gODDAMN BARRY ALLEN ffs

That one time Barry Allen kicked his own ass using speed mirages to punk his Rogues gallery and to my knowledge tHEY NEVER FIGURED IT OUT

I desperately want to read the fic where they do.