#personally along with Vanessa

[tharkflark1]

I know the general consensus (and mine as well) is that Gregory isn’t the one who dropped Cassie down the elevator shaft, but I started this before I knew that, I enjoy morally grey characters

Art without the shading under the cut:

[shiningstarr15]

The Sillies being Silly

Something snapped in me and I realized we don’t have enough of these two having playful interactions. They DO exist they’re just rare. So I’m trying to fix it bc this is one of my biggest hc for their relationship.

And yes, I do believe it’s coming from both sides. Greg is a menace but I fear Vanessa can be just as bad. If you take their “antagonistic” relationship from SB and nullify it a tad, you get something akin to sibling torture bonding. At least that’s how I see it. 😂

The top left drawing and Vanessa’s outfit in the bottom left are both based off my fic :3

Long live the double dork duo 😆🤪

[uniiiquehecrt]

Voice actors are NOT the same as actors.

It takes a specific kind of skill-set and training to be able to warp and meld the voice. It takes a certain kind of talent and dedication to hone that talent into the ability to meld the voice and invoke emotion with one's voice alone. Actors are used to using their voice secondarily to their body language and their facial expressions. It's all mirrored back on camera. They do have nuance. But it's a different kind of nuance and a different kind of training to produce that nuance.

Voice actors might get their likeness transposed on their character's design, and maybe their mannerisms might seep into the character's animation. But when it's all said and done: their presence is in their voice. They are bringing a character to life, showing that emotion in their voice, trying to keep a specific accent, drawl, pitch, tone in that voice and keep it consistent for their recording sessions.

The voice actor is like a classically trained musician who can play first chair in a competitive, world-renown orchestra. The actor (who fills the voice actor's role) is like a moot who played violin in beginner and intermediate high school orchestra and thinks they can get into Juilliard with that 2-4 years of experience.

This doesn't mean that the HS orchestra moot can't play. They can even be really good at it. Maybe they won competitions and sat first chair. But they are not in the same league as the person who's been training their whole lives and lives and breathes to hone their craft using the instrument and all of the training they've ever acquired to perfect it. They are not meant for the same roles. They are not in the same caliber. You do not hire the HS equivalent when you want to play complex music in a competitive orchestra.

Actors are not the same as voice actors.

And furthermore, actors - especially big name actors - taking the roles of animated characters for big budget films or TV pilots makes no sense anyways when - at least in the case of TV pilots - there's not a point to hiring a big budget actors anyways. That money could be used elsewhere (like paying your animators), and the talent that is brought onto the screen for X character could then be hired on to voice said character no recasting required.

I wouldn't say voice acting as a profession is in danger exactly, but it's certainly being disrespected and overlooked for celebrity clout, and this has ALWAYS been an issue. Shoot, even Robin Williams knew that much - which is why he tried so hard not to be used as a marketing chess piece for Aladdin and got royally pissed off when it happened anyways. People shouldn't go to any movie (but especially not animated films) because "oh famous actor is in it". People should go because it's a good movie and the voice acting is good.

People who honest to god think that voice actors are replaceable because "oh well anyone can voice act" or "I like xyz celebrity so naturally it'll be good" ... Honestly I just wish you'd reassess your priorities because you're missing the point and are part of the problem.

Voice Actors ≠ Actors.

[townieboyfriend]

unsure if this has been a talking point before but the whole thing with hermann canonically having a family offscreen is so gut wrenching to me because of the implication that he knew that his child would never grow up or likely even be born. vanessa was supposed to be due in april '25, around the same time he calculated the triple event would take place </3

[cornley-amateur-drama-society]

Cornley as Classic Christmas Songs

NB: I am counting “Classic” as up to 1965

Annie: “I'll Be Home For Christmas”

Released in 1943 by Bing Crosby, the song was written from the perspective of a WWII soldier who was overseas thinking about his family back home, and wishing he could be with them for the holiday.

Other famous artist who have covered the song include Johnny Mathis, Elvis Presley, and Josh Groban.

Chris: “Please Come Home For Christmas”

Originally written and recorded in 1960, it hit the Billboard Top 100 in '61; made popular by The Eagles in '78

I am linking The Eagles version because I do think it's the most iconic, personally, and it's one of my favorite Christmas songs.

Dennis: “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas”

Written in 1943, Judy Garland sang it in 1944 for Meet Me in St. Louis.

Frank Sinatra covered the song in 1948 with the original lyrics, and then again in 1957 with more upbeat lyrics — the second version, I would argue, is the better-known.

Jonathan: “Here Comes Santa Claus”

The song was recorded (and partially written by) Gene Autry after being inspired by his riding a horse in the Santa Claus Lane Parade, now called the Hollywood Christmas Parade.

The song has been covered by so many artists, including Bing Crosby, Elvis Presley, and the Andrews Sisters.

Lucy: “Rocking Around the Christmas Tree”

Written and recorded in 1958, Brenda Lee was only thirteen-years-old at the time, though her voice does sound much older.

It's not a favorite of mine, but it has that youthful quality that I associate Lucy with.

Max: “Let It Snow”

Written in July of 1945, despite not mentioning any specific holiday, the song has become associated with Christmas due to its winter theme.

The two most popular versions of this classic are by Frank Sinatra (recorded in 1950) and by Dean Martin (recorded in 1959). I've linked the Sinatra version because of the big band element to it.

Robert: “Baby, It's Cold Outside”

Originally written in 1944 by Frank Loesser to sing at parties with his wife Lynn Garland, it wasn't until 1949 that the song was a widespread hit, featuring in the film Neptune's Daughter.

The song was written during a time when it was seen as improper for a single woman to stay over at a bachelor's overnight. The call and response style is a way of him expressing his fears about the weather, and her going, “Well, looks like I'm here for the night! ~~Oh, no~~ ;)”.

Sandra: “The Christmas Song”

Originally written in 1945 by Robert Wells and Mel Tormé, the song was recorded by the Nat King Cole trio the next year.

In 1961, the U.S. Library of Congress selected the song to preserved for being “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant”.

Trevor: “I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm”

Written in 1937 during the big band era of jazz, the song was covered in 1959 with the same sort of big band style by Dean Martin, which is my favorite version.

The song has also been covered by people like Frank Sinatra, Billie Holiday, and Bette Midler among others.

Vanessa: “White Christmas”

Originally written sometime in the early-1940's by Irving Berlin, the orignial Bing Crosby version is the most popular one of the tune.

The song was written for the Christmas movie Holiday Inn (1942) starring Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire.

[ladyantiheroine]

While I'm still thinking about Nosferatu, am I the only one who sees a bit of a child molestation allegory in Ellen and Orlok?

Ellen tells us that she called to Orlok when she was young. She'd been experiencing symptoms of his influence since childhood, after all. She wanted someone to comfort her, protect her, guide her.

But then that someone turned out to be a predator. To paraphrase her, it was "something sweet turned to torture." She speaks how it fills her with shame, complicates her marriage and sexual relationship with her husband, how she lowers to the floor and makes herself smaller and more childlike ("I promise I'll be good") when beckoning Thomas to have sex with her.

It reminds me a little bit of the book My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell. It makes me think of the dynamic of a child who had a relationship with an adult she had a crush on, only to grow up and realize that he was a monster. It's the horror of realizing that the person you are attracted to and even fond of was a predator all along.

[lizzobetumblin]

Melissa hated her feelings. 

She buried them in a chest in the 5th grade (along with her ability to express them). Other peoples' feelings on the other hand was her forte. She could process, decipher and regurgitate other peoples emotions effortlessly. This gift could’ve taken her through college, all the way to a degree in psychology. Distinguished Dr. Jefferson with a PhD and a cozy office and impressive roster of high-profile, weallthy clients was a shiny idea. Fate would have a different hand for Melissa her talents were exhausted on mediating family fights, friend group drama, and charming her way out of confronting her own feelings. 

“Feelings.” Even saying it out loud to herself seemed silly. Something reserved for ‘cry babies’ and water signs. Typical Sunday nights started tame, reading or writing fan-fiction and drinking cranapple juice. And then like clock work her father would yell her name, 

‘MELISSA!!!’ Emotionless, she’d get up dust off her Winnie the Pooh shorts and make her way downstairs. On the long walk down the hall to the stairs leading to the living room brawl, she’d go through her check list: 

1.) Don’t cry.   

 2.) Stay neutral; Deescalate

3.)Don’t take anything personal. This isn’t about you

She padded down the carpeted stairs in her old soft socks to see her mother tightlipped and tear streaked thinking, 

‘she broke rule number 1’. Her father, Michael was proud and angry, his big belly filled with self righteousness. She knew he would be unyielding in his resolve and at this point her only option was to deescalate.

 ‘Rule number 2’. Then her sister the water sign and calamity for the evening sat on the floor nearly fetal, face red and raw with emotion. 

‘Its not your fault’ Melissa wanted to say ‘You just didn’t follow the rules… you’re loved.’ But she couldn’t say that because she’d be breaking rule number 3. It wasn’t about how Melissa felt. Even though she felt like screaming,

“VANESSA, YOU DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG. DAD—YOU JUST HAVE PENT UP ANGER BECAUSE YOU GREW UP IN THE HOOD OF DETROIT AS A BLACK MAN IN THE 60s AND 70s. YOU NEED A HEALTHY OUTLET LIKE.. I DONT KNOW… THERAPY?!?!?! THIS IS A WASTE OF ALL OF OUR TIME. I LITERALLY JUST WROTE THE BEST SAILOR SATURN x CHIBI USA FANFICTION EVER AND THIS IS KILLING MY VIBE!”

Instead, she decide to hear every one out. She decided to help. To calm her dragon of a father down. To be a translator for her emotional sister. To not take it personal. To stay neutral. To not cry. 

9 years later, at her fathers funeral she still never broke the rules. She played her flute and spoke at his memorial. She was present for her mother because it wasn’t about her. When other peoples' emotions bubbled up she stayed neutral. She sat through both services and she did not cry. It wasn’t until she excused herself to make a phone call outside did she collapse onto the stairs of the funeral home and weep alone in the cold Detroit snow. 

It’s okay to break the rules sometimes, she reminded herself. As long as no one else sees it.

Traumas began to compact on Melissa, as they do. Humans tend to collect traumas like pebbles on a long hike. We toss them into our backpacks and keep moving forward. Some hikers would falter, but Melissa was built for this. She’d carried the stones of her family’s traumas uphill for years. She was strong. 

When men began to befriend and reject her, saying ‘you’re too good for me’ but not too good to make them feel good. She carried that. 

When childhood friends began to cut off the strings of her heart, saying ‘We can’t be friends anymore’. She carried that.

When her family separated like dandelion seeds, it seemed like they’d never be together again. Melissa slept on so many couches, floors and car seats sometimes she didn’t know if she’d see them again. 

She carried that. 

Dying was never an option though sometimes she didn’t mind the thought of it. Peace and warmth were two things she’d desperately yearned and hadn’t felt fully since the womb. Then one night in the pitch black of the hot, sweaty, roach-infested studio in southeast Houston she slept in she wondered:

‘Why can’t I break the rules?’ She’d seen everyone else in her life break them like popsicle sticks. And she didn’t just want to break the rules, she wanted to break them boldly and loudly and annoyingly and honestly and sloppily like every one else gets to do. It was in that moment, tucked in a thin jacket inside of an 8-foot high instrument cubby in the inky darkness—it hit her. 

‘Is my suffering for a high purpose? Or is my suffering trying to kill me?’ 

She cried. 

She escalated. 

She took it personal. 

But it wasn’t enough. She wanted to scream in a microphone in a sea of shadowy faces. She drank whiskey and wove her pain into rock music. 

‘Music is my boyfriend’ she declared. The only man that kept his baggage to hisself. And it healed her. It gave her voice reason and purpose. 

The pebble-laden hike became lighter with time. The incline eventually evened out to flat, beautiful landscapes where the breeze finally met her back. She knew it wasn’t gonna be easy or sunshine but even the rain cleansed her and it was beautiful too. 

Somewhere in the rain she decided rules were meant to be built and broken. Like trust and love and friendships and families. Because every thing deserves the opportunity to change and grow. 

So... She broke rule number 1 on stage while singing a beautiful song. Dr. Jefferson (PhD) screamed for her to stop but she didn’t listen and the tears flowed like rivers of emotion down her cheeks. 

Rule number 2 was broken when she grew older and saw the injustices of the world. Marching with hundreds in protest she realized not everything needs to be pacified. 

And one day when she finally fell in love, she broke rule number 3. No matter how much training she’d done she couldn't help but take every thing her lover said and did personal. But it was ok. Because in all her resistance she realized breaking rules was her power. 

Melissa began to fall for her feelings. Her feelings gave life purpose. They weren’t always logical, as feelings seldom are. They were sloppy and embarrassing and rude and so fucking uncomfortable. But they were hers. And they were real. And when she sat alone sipping wine, staring at the moon…They were the only ones still by her side. Ready to break the rules for her because they loved her. 

And she finally loved them back. 

[twilightkitkat]

Poolverine but they dress up as each other for Halloween. I'm not just talking about swapping costumes—they go all in. They get those facial prosthetics to get each other's skin textures right, Wade goes in with makeup for detailing, and Wade wears a bodysuit while Logan wears slight platform shoes and shapewear to roughly match their builds.

They put on each other's suits and make sure the proportions are as accurate as possible. Wade even goes as far as to call in a few favors to get voice-changing abilities.

Then, Halloween, they pretend to be each other. They try to match each other's personalities and mannerisms and see if anyone can notice.

At first, you'd think it'd be obvious that they switched. But here's the thing: they know each other. Wade knows how Logan moves and talks and acts and fights. Logan knows how to predict Wade's moods and reactions and decisions. They're incredibly self-aware and in sync.

They both show up to their friend's Halloween party dressed as each other. The crowd is incredibly large because everyone invited all the people that they know, which includes Vanessa's new friends and the majority of the X-mansion.

The only person who knew off the bat was Laura. There was no hiding it from her with her sense of smell, but they didn't intend to. She was in on the joke and came to watch the shitshow in action.

When asked about their costume, "Wade" says that Deadpool is what all the kids want to dress up as for Halloween, and he was just following the trend! Besides, no need to waste money buying a costume when he has the best one right in his closet. He's the scariest to be, obviously, because Deadpool is such a fearsome name.

Logan matches Wade's pitch immaculately, curling his voice into a whine before going back to talking cheerily as if nothing happened. Nobody bats an eye, classic Wade behavior.

Any slight imperfections are hidden by the flashing lights and relaxed atmosphere and large crowd. It's hard to pick out their friends in a crowd, let alone tell the differences between their carefully crafted copycat plans.

Laura gets closer to "Logan" and asks him how "Wade" has been lately, playing along. He responds with a grunt and an exasperated but fond summary of Wade's newest hyperfixation, acting as if he didn't know any of the terminology for it.

She has to hide a shit-eating grin when some of the people who knew Logan from the X-mansion came up to greet him and ask him how he's been. Plan successful.

"Logan" reaches out and pats a few heads, lingering just long enough to show he cares but pulling away soon enough to avoid deep intimacy. He answers questions with the same gruff tone as the actual Logan, giving just enough information to satisfy their questions.

Miraculously, the night continues and they haven't been caught. This is quite frankly hilarious because the two had done their rounds with each other's friends and acquaintances and apparently knew enough about each other to answer accurately. It's a pretty big feat, and even Laura has to reluctantly admit she's impressed by how well they know each other to pull this off.

The two draw together near the end, bickering as usual and using each other's tactics. Wade has to stifle a giggle at Logan imitating his out to not break character, and Logan has to hold himself back from burying his face in his hands out of embarrassment.

The real challenge is when Vanessa comes in to greet "Wade," with her new boyfriend in tow. Because Logan knows how Wade should act: vaguely uncomfortable and awkward, cagey toward the new guy, with an undertone of yearning and regret.

He knows this, but it stings. It hurts to know that while Wade and him are living together, a part of Wade will always belong to Vanessa. He knows it's irrational and that he's the main person in Wade's life, but the thought of them together makes him feel vaguely nauseous.

But he promised Wade he'd try to do this with him. They'd made bets and everything about who would find out and who wouldn't. He didn't want to ruin his fun.

So Logan grits his teeth and shifts into character, acting a little tense but also relieved to see her. Acting a bit more closed off and tense when the new guy introduces himself, and a little embarrassed to be seen with "Logan." Guilty, almost, like he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't.

But Vanessa's expression isn't remorseful or awkward. Instead, she raises an eyebrow, crosses her arms, and asks him what's wrong. Tells him that something's clearly bothering him and that he knows he can come to her for anything.

Logan becomes confused. What was he doing wrong? Was he not giving her the "puppy dog eyes" convincingly enough? Was he not portraying the bittersweet feeling of seeing "the one who got away" well?

But then she asks him if he and "Logan" were fighting. If something was going wrong in their relationship for him to act so cagey and upset.

...And Logan is baffled. What the hell does them fighting have to do with this?

Until she continues. She tells him that she knows how much "Logan" means to him and that she knows Logan feels the same (it's obvious just in the way he looks at Wade), so she's sure they'll figure it out soon.

She chuckles and shakes her head and says that it's endearing how Wade constantly talks about Logan as if he's the only topic in the world. That she's glad he's happy and that she remembered him asking to meet her boyfriend at some point so he could "rate her taste." She pats his shoulder, placatingly, and tells him that she's always there to talk if anything happens. Then she leaves.

And oh.

Logan thought he had Wade's personality down to a science, that he knew almost everything about him. His thoughts, his feelings, his relationships. ...But apparently, he was wrong for once.

Then he takes a second to stand there and analyze his interactions with Wade. And he realizes that she was right. That Wade glancing constantly back at him when Vanessa was there wasn't awkward pining for his ex, but just Wade wanting to look at Logan.

Now that he thinks about it, Wade doesn't just do that around Vanessa. He did it around almost everyone. He'd intermittently glance at Logan with what he assumed to be embarrassment over him, but now he realizes it was endearment. Awe. Bashfulness and slight pride over getting to introduce Logan to his friends instead of being ashamed of him.

And Logan realized that maybe he didn't know everything about Wade. That maybe, some of his assumptions were based more on his own experiences and past rather than the present. That he let his jealousy and insecurity and anxiety cloud his interpretation until it became foggy, creating the same rough shape but without the structure.

...And Logan smiles, under the mask. A warm, incredulous thing. That Wade spent most of his time with Vanessa talking about him. That it was so obvious Wade loved him that everyone commented on it. He'd never had someone be proud of belonging to him before, showing him off like he was something worth coveting. It felt nice.

Eventually, he rejoined "Logan's" side. He sidled up to him and threw an arm around his shoulder, throwing out a flirty comment and cuddling closer. "Logan" let him, letting his shoulder slump and wrapping an arm around him in return.

"Wade" stared at "Logan," watching his expressions shift and the curve of his lips as they moved. He let the adoration and wonder swell up in him, seeing how accurately Wade played the part.

It was obvious that he was staring, but nobody batted an eye. They all accepted it as normal, as if it was perfectly in character for Wade to stare at Logan with full focus even while people flitted and talked around them.

When Logan leaned in to kiss Wade's shoulder, nobody said anything.

(They manage to make it through the night without anyone calling them out on their impersonation. When they reveal it the next day, everyone is shocked. It was so realistic that they couldn't even tell.

Well, almost everyone is shocked. Laura rolls her eyes and Vanessa hides a knowing smile behind the rim of her coffee cup.)

[roosterforme]

Yours Truly, Bradley Bradshaw Part 4 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: As you and Bradley start to blur the line between professional and personal correspondence, you feel yourself falling for him even more. He has charmed your students as well as you, and you decide to continue taking a chance on him.

Warnings: Fluff, language, Bradley sounding hot

Length: 3800 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female teacher!Reader

Check out my masterlist for more! Yours Truly, Bradley Bradshaw masterlist

Bradley spent an hour bundling up all of his letters to your students, getting them ready to be sent back to California. Sure, he wanted to impress you, but he also couldn't deny that he was attached to hearing from Oliver, Violet, Jayden and everyone else. And according to you, they were just as happy to hear from him.

Without giving it a second thought, Bradley went all in with your personal email address. An account where he assumed you could say and send anything you wanted to. One that nobody else was monitoring. His thoughts strayed constantly over the past few hours to what that might mean. What did you deem too personal for your school account?

You told him you were single, and you made it seem like you were into him. You said he gave you butterflies, and now he desperately wanted to see this thing through. When he closed his eyes, he could picture the photos of your smiling face, and he felt a little dizzy. He wanted you to tell him everything. He wanted you to wait for him so he could take you on a date. Or several. He wanted to know what your lips tasted like.

It sounded like your ex was a real tool if he didn't appreciate what you did and how hard you worked. You taught eighteen kids enough about aviation that they asked Bradley some pertinent questions and brought up information that was relevant to his job. He was impressed as hell, and he thought he could be better than what you had before. He already knew without a shadow of a doubt that you were better than Vanessa. It was obvious.

"Lieutenant Bradshaw."

He turned toward the voice calling his name as soon as he dropped the package with your name on it off at the mail center. "Hey," he called out to the mechanic who let him take those photos for your class a few weeks ago. He read his jumpsuit again just to be sure. "What's up, Marty?"

He jerked his thumb toward the main deck and said, "I just got around to unpacking some new engine components. You still writing to those kids?"

"Yeah."

"I'm about to do some repairs if you want to take some more pictures or a video for them."

Bradley had been planning on stalking his inbox for the rest of the day in the hopes that you'd write back and comment on his brief missive telling you he wanted the conversation to go further, but this seemed better than driving himself crazy. He could practically picture you and your kids flipping through some photos and watching a cool video he managed to snag for you. "Yeah, Marty. Let me grab my phone, and I'll meet you out in the shop."

---------------------------

After you read the email from Bradley where he called you Gorgeous, you were up most of the night. First, you screeched and almost spilled hot tea all over yourself as you rushed to set your mug down on the coffee table so you could giggle and kick your feet in the air. Then you read and reread the short email for about five minutes, curled up in a little ball with your phone right in front of your face. Then you sprawled along your couch and let yourself imagine what he might be like in person.

It was too early to get your hopes up about ever getting that far, but you couldn't seem to stop yourself from thinking about it. You hummed softly, because in your daydream, he lived in San Diego and asked you out on a date, and he was a perfect gentleman until you didn't want him to be any longer. You didn't even consider what reality might hold, because you were sure you wouldn't like it as much.

But for now, he was on board with going further. Your expectations of things included chatting about your likes and dislikes as well as learning more about him. "I'd like to take it further," you read softly, trying to imagine it in a masculine voice. But what did that sentence mean for him? You sat up on the couch. Surely he wasn't going to turn into a pig and start sending you anything too raunchy. Right?

You swiped out of your email inbox and looked at the photo of him standing in front of his jet and moaned. It was actually your mind heading for the gutter as you wondered what it would feel like to be wrapped up in his big arms. What it would be like to tug the zipper of his flight suit down slowly, enjoying the feel of the pull between your thumb and index finger.

It was like the fictional leading man in a romance novel came to life and told you that he thought you were pretty and that he liked your students. You flopped back down on the couch and screeched into the pillow so as not to alarm your neighbors. You needed to respond, but you didn't know what to say since you were probably past the point of playing it cool. You chewed on your lip while you typed and then deleted several versions before sending him something that you thought was okay.

Bradley,

I'd like to take it further, too. I don't usually do this kind of thing (oh, who am I kidding... I never do this kind of thing), but there's just something about you that made me feel like it was worth the risk. I hope I'm not being too bold if I say that I found the photos you sent me quite distracting. However, it's not just your looks that made me share my personal email address with you. I like the way you give me butterflies. There's something sweet that comes through in your writing, and I want to get to know you better. On that note, if you feel so inclined, please tell me three things I should know about you.

Yours Truly,

Your favorite pen pal

Once again, you had written back to him so quickly, it should have been embarrassing, but you had nothing to lose here. You tossed out the bait, and he took it in the most spectacular fashion. You didn't want to miss an opportunity like this, even if he did seem too good to be true.

But he still hadn't written back when you got to work the next morning. The ping of the email alert on your phone made you reach for it immediately, but it was just a reminder to pay your bills on time. As you unlocked your classroom door and flipped the lights on, you considered that maybe your message was a little bit boring. After all, you were the one to bring your personal account into play. Perhaps he was expecting you to reply with some sort of dirty picture. Your cheeks burned with mixed embarrassment. You wanted to take it further, but you didn't know how. You just knew that you wanted to keep him engaged without compromising yourself.

You tucked your bag and your phone away in your desk drawer and pulled out your lesson plans for the day. You'd start things off with language arts and then work your way through math and science before your kids had art class. There was no reason you had to think about Bradley at all right now; he could just wait until later with his big hands and his thick thighs and his mustache and cute smile.

Just before your students were due to arrive, you opened your laptop and logged in to see which parents had emailed you with questions or concerns about their child. You froze when you saw an email that was sent a few minutes ago from Bradley with the subject line A visit to the mechanic's shop. When you opened it up, you found that he had attached a video and a handful of photos. 

You were a little bit annoyed that he didn't respond to the message you sent from your other account where you asked him to tell you about himself, but that melted away as soon as you clicked on the video. His face flashed up on your computer screen, and all of the features you'd shamelessly memorized were right there in front of you. Cute smile, tidy mustache, brown eyes, wavy hair. But then you heard his voice.

"Hey. I just thought I'd take all nineteen of my favorite pen pals on a little tour around the mechanic shop aboard the Theodore Roosevelt. Sound good?"

You slammed your computer shut and moaned, thighs pressed tight together as your heart hammered. He was too much. It was just a video. He wasn't even really here, but he was an absolute assault on your senses. He called you gorgeous, but meanwhile it was hard to look directly at him for fear that you'd burst out into a fit of giggles. You shook your tingling hands out and slowly opened your computer again.

"Bradley Bradshaw. How are you this hot?" you whispered at the video paused on your screen. His face was frozen mostly in profile as he looked to the side, and for the first time, you saw some long scars on his cheek and neck. "Oh." They weren't new, rather giving the appearance that they had faded over time. You wondered how pronounced they would feel beneath your fingers. Would he let you touch them? Let you drag your lips across them while your hands found their way to his tousled hair?

After taking a few deep breaths, you let the video play again. Another man joined Bradley on the screen, and he was holding up a long, metal rod.

"This is my friend Marty. He's been a mechanic in the Navy for twenty-six years, and he specializes in aircraft repairs. He knows more about my Super Hornet than I do, and I'm not ashamed to admit that. So I'm just going to stand here and hold my phone still while we watch Marty do his thing."

The rest of the video was fascinating. It was still interesting the second time when you watched it with your class instead of doing your language arts lesson. The kids sat at rapt attention, eating up that little introduction that Bradley gave just as you had. He didn't talk to them like a bunch of little kids who didn't understand anything, which you loved. He and Marty explained what they were doing without making it too juvenile. Then when the video ended, your kids started raising their hands with question after question.

"You know what to do," you told them, holding out a dry erase marker for Jackie to take. She wrote down the list of questions that everyone had for Bradley while you tapped through the photos, once again imagining how warm and rough his hands would feel wrapped around your own instead of an intake manifold.

The impromptu aviation lesson lasted for two hours until your kids left for art class, and now you were a little concerned about all of the additional, more personal questions you had for Bradley besides the ones your class came up with. You wanted to know how old he was and where his scars came from. You wanted to know where he lived now, but you were too afraid of the answer. According to one of the notes he wrote back to Violet, he went to the University of Virginia. He even sounded like he was from the east coast.

You sat at your desk alone, digging your snack out of your drawer along with your phone. There was a new email. You smiled as you realized he must have sent it to you just after he emailed the video he took for your whole class to watch. The opening greeting once again had you kicking your feet beneath your desk, snack forgotten. 

Hey, Gorgeous,

I'm still having a hard time believing that you want to get to know me better. Full disclosure, I'm a little nervous you'll get bored talking to me. I don't have much family, and I know it's cliche, but flying really is my passion. I spend a lot of my time on aircraft carriers which makes it hard to maintain relationships and friendships with people on dry land. 

Talking to my nineteen new pen pals has been the most exciting part of my deployment. But you're right... you're my favorite one. I could tell from the first letter that wasn't even specifically meant for me that you were funny and sweet. And then I saw what you look like, and I kept going back to the photo for another look. You're just as gorgeous as you are funny and sweet.

Three things you should know about me? One, I'm afraid of spiders. Like so afraid of them that I might have a crisis on my hands if you tell me you have a beloved pet tarantula or something. Two, I loved taking piano lessons so much when I was a kid, I actually still take them. (Now I'm sitting here wondering why I'm telling you embarrassing shit.) My next door neighbor is a retired music teacher, and when I'm home, I trade yard work for piano lessons. Everyone wins. Third, I like giving Gorgeous teachers butterflies. That's a new one, but I thought you should know about it.

I'm giving you some homework, hope you don't mind. I want you to send me a picture of one of those San Diego sunsets where the sky somehow looks both blue and orange at the same time. If you happen to be in the photo, I'm not going to complain. I would also love to hear three things I should know about you. 

Please tell your kids they have mail on the way. I hope to hear back from them. And you.

Yours Truly,

Bradley

Oh. This crush was even worse than you thought.

-----------------------------

After days of running drills, Bradley was finally grounded because of a bad storm that was closing in, and he was given a few hours off. He stood out on deck, letting the first drops of hard rain hit his face. He was hoping to get a nice sunset photo to send to you, but the past few days had been terribly cloudy. And now he felt like he was being torn in three directions as his flight suit got wet: he was sweaty, hungry and curious. As a result, he couldn't decide if he should hit the shower, the mess hall or the lounge first.

He reasoned that he'd best appreciate an email from you if he was cleaned up and well fed. If you'd had time to write back to him, it would top off his night in the sweetest way possible. So he took a shower and unfortunately had to eat cabbage rolls for dinner. He chuckled to himself as he walked toward the lounge, picturing a bunch of fourth graders eating dinner in the mess hall and ranking the foods. They would probably love that, actually.

As Bradley logged in and watched his email inbox appear on one of the lounge computers, he muttered, "Hell yes." There was a new message from you, and he couldn't click on it fast enough. Before he started reading, the attached photo caught his attention, and he grunted softly. Fuck. 

There you were, on a stretch of beach in Coronado, not even a mile from his house with the sun setting behind you. Your features were in shadow, but your smile was a little shy and very pretty. You looked so soft, standing there on the windswept sand in denim shorts and an oversized sweatshirt with Mira Mesa Elementary printed on the front, and all he wanted to do was touch you. He could already imagine a picnic dinner on that beach, snuggling up with you as cooler temperatures moved in. Enjoying the blues and oranges until the sky got so dark, he'd lead you back to his house with your fingers laced with his.

Bradley,

I'm turning in my homework. I hope I get a passing grade. I'm not usually the student, so I'm a little out of practice. A Naval officer from Top Gun took this photo for me. Apparently aviators just like you are all over the beaches in Coronado.

I have some good news for you. While I'm not actually afraid of spiders, I promise I don't have a beloved pet tarantula. And I'm sorry, but the idea of you still taking piano lessons made me giggle for a solid minute. The mental image is just that adorable. 

You always seem to know what to say to make my butterflies go crazy, and that's just through the written word. As an educator, I always stress the importance of honesty to my students. So let me just say that honestly, I'm not going to get bored talking to you. I also can't lie about the fact that I watched the video you sent several times just to hear your voice. (Now I'm the one embarrassing herself.) And I really can't see how you would have a hard time maintaining a relationship while you're away. Maybe your previous partners didn't appreciate how rare it is to find someone who is willing to put in some effort. Or maybe they didn't find your arachnophobia oddly endearing. But I kind of do.

Three things you should know about me: 1. I graduated from college with a 4.0 GPA. 2. Sometimes I fall asleep during movies, especially if I'm snuggled up on my own couch. 3. I have a crush on you.

Hitting send before I can change my mind.

Bradley couldn't help the smile teasing at his lips as he tucked his hands behind his head and read your last few sentences again. He always wanted to continue talking to you, so maybe it wasn't out of the realm of possibility that you wouldn't grow bored with this. Maybe you'd care more about him than going out on dates, unlike Vanessa. He wasn't going to wait before responding to your email. What was the point? You were into him, and he was definitely into you.

-----------------------------

"We got mail!" you announced, holding up the package that was waiting for you in the school office when you refilled your travel coffee mug on your way to your classroom. Your students erupted into delighted conversation.

"Is it from Lieutenant Bradshaw?" asked Jayden.

"Of course it is," Violet told him. "It must be. He's our pen pal after all."

"Did he send us more notes?" Oliver asked, practically bouncing out of his seat in anticipation.

"He did!" you confirmed as you tore into the package and enlisted Harrison to help you hand the individual notes to their recipients. The room went silent as soon as they all started reading, and then one after the next, the kids started to get out their notebooks to start their responses.

You felt warm all over. Bradley was on your mind a lot, and you didn't really want him going anywhere. You watched the video he sent again last night before you went to sleep, and you dreamed about a strong man with a sexy voice curled up behind you in bed. You knew you had a new email from him, but you were waiting until you could sit quietly during your lunch break to read it.

At some point, you were going to have to taper off the aviation curriculum and focus on other things, but you just didn't want to have to do that yet. Not when your class was so engaged. Not when it made you feel connected to a man thousands of miles away who you had feelings for in spite of the fact that you never met him in person. In spite of the fact that you were too afraid to ask him where he lived.

After you eventually walked your kids down to the lunchroom, you were free to read your email from Bradley in peace. But the more you thought about opening it, you started to get nervous. You already admitted you were interested in him, so there was really no going back. If he hadn't sent you something similar, you were going to have to crawl under a rock, but you got your phone out as you took a deep breath and started reading.

Hey, Gorgeous,

Now wait right there. I have some concerns. I'm going to address them in order, so please bear with me. First of all, you didn't just pass your homework assignment, you got an A+. I've never seen such a beautiful sunset in my life, and yet it was barely noticeable next to you. But here's my main issue. I can't have another aviator taking sunset photos of you and sweeping you off your feet. How about you just stay off that beach in Coronado for the time being? Give a guy a chance here?

I couldn't agree more about the importance of being honest. Honestly, I'm letting out the breath I've been holding, worried that you were going to send me a photo of you with your pet tarantula. And honestly, smart women really do it for me, so any time you want to bring up that 4.0 GPA, I'm going to need a minute. And honestly, nothing sounds better than watching a movie with you on your couch right now. Can't stop thinking about it, actually. 

Please, tell me in an overabundance of detail, what you would do if I promised I would take you out to dinner but then changed my mind and told you that I was tired from work and wanted to spend a quiet evening on my couch with some takeout instead.

You have a crush on me? Gorgeous girl, all I can think about is the couple days of leave I'm going to have once this aircraft carrier finally docks back in San Diego. Where you are. You and my eighteen other pen pals. I think I have a thing for fourth grade teachers. Or maybe it's just you. I can't wait to hear from you again.

Yours Truly,

Bradley

---------------------------

Okay. Some admissions have been made. Little bits of feelings have been established. She has seen him and heard his voice, and I think we're ready to keep taking things further. Maybe a phone call? Maybe another photo or two? We also can't leave the fourth graders hanging. Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 5

@hotch-meeeeeuppppp

@chassy21

@solacestyles

@daisyhollyxox

@wintercap89

@blog-name6996

@bcon24

@chaoticassidy

@avada-kedavra-bitch-187

@katiebby04

@marantha

@averyhotchner

@abaker74

@heli991113

@k-k0129

@noz4a2

@shanimallina87

@little-wiseone

@ccbb2222

@xoxabs88xox

@thedroneranger

@cherrycola27

@fanboyswhore9

@xomrsalliej4787xo

@desert-fern

@sylviebell

@wkndwlff

@horseslovers2016

@gennyanydots

@mattyskies

@hookslove1592

@blahehblah

@sadpetalsstuff

@local-spidey

@schoollover

@lex-winchester

@magicalmorg

@nicole01-23

@jessicab1991

@happyrebelruins

@samsgoddess

@ughthisisntright

@bellaireland1981

@sagittarius-flowerchild

@mygyn

@yuckosworld

[pleasantlycrazyworld]

Summary: Worst! Logan thinking you're dating Wade and is pining for you. Only for Wade to say that he's been spending hours telling YOU everything about LOGAN so you can ask him out.

A/N: Reader is mentioned as she a few times but mostly is referred to as sweet cheeks. Logan is insecure and gets too in his head. This is left on a cliff hanger sort of so lmk if you'd like a part two! This was requested; thank you @squishyfruitloop for the idea I hope you like it <3

You were there the first night he moved into the apartment. You welcomed him along with Al and he just thought you were the most beautiful person he'd ever seen. He wanted to know more about you and it was easy to fall more in love with you with the more he learned about you.

You seemed to always be around, not that Logan was complaining. He would come home from work, and you were there making dinner, he would wake up and you were there making a pot of coffee or standing at the kitchen counter trying to finish a last-minute work project. You were just always there.

At first, he thought it was just him assuming things, he knew that you and Wade had been friends for a few years now and that you two were close. You helped him become Deadpool, you helped him with the breakup with Vanessa, you just always helped so of course he understood why Wade would want you around. However, you started emerging from Wade's bedroom in the morning wearing his shirt or pajama pants. The two of you started whispering amongst each other and just seemed to be closer than before, so obviously he figured you and Wade had started seeing one another.

He was really hurt by this realization; he started to really fall for you and was wanting to ask you out, but he kept talking himself out of asking you. He was more hurt by Wade; he had confided in him about his feelings towards you and when Logan asked Wade what he should do Wade continued to reassure him that asking you out would be a great idea. 

Logan sent Wade glares all day trying to figure out what the hell was going on. It’s not like Wade didn’t deserve someone like you, but he was so ensuring that you felt the same as Logan. Wade deserved someone as sweet as you, but you were Logan's in his mind. He called dibs and Wade knew that. Now he’s dating her... What the fuck kind of friend does that? Logan shook his head; maybe it was a misunderstanding. It had to be that. Right? 

Tonight was movie night and Logan was excited to see you, he was hoping to get you alone for a moment and to finally talk things out. He had a strong feeling that the whole you dating Wade idea was a misunderstanding but the voice in the back of his head wouldn’t stop nagging him until he had the confirmation. Logan was sitting next to you on the couch and before he could say anything to you Wade plopped himself right next to you and showed you the movie he picked for the night. Apparently, it was your favorite. You squealed with excitement and gave Wade a hug, thanking him for finding the movie you’d been wanting to rewatch. Logan could feel himself deflate and curl into himself, maybe it wasn’t a misunderstanding. Maybe you actually did like Wade and Wade was just an asshole who wanted to fuck with Logan’s emotions. 

He wanted to leave movie night so bad; it felt like he wasn’t welcomed anymore, and he wasn’t paying any attention to the actual movie. He could feel his hands starting to shake and his ears were buzzing from trying to hold back from lashing out at Wade. His chest was getting tighter and tighter as he could hear himself scream in his head. As soon as the movie was over, he ran to his room trying to breathe again. Sitting next to you was his favorite thing in the world, having you close gave him the ability to smell your shampoo and body wash, it gave him the ability to feel grounded but now it felt like he was being suffocated. 

You watched as Logan ran from the living room to the spare room that he calls home now. You felt your heart break and your eyes started to sting as you blinked back tears. “Did we do something?” You asked Wade meekly and the merc felt growing frustration with his friend. “You didn’t do anything sweet cheeks. How about you head home, it’s getting late, and you know how everyone who lives here needs their beauty sleep” You giggled and nodded before getting up to collect your things. 

Wade waited for you to leave before he confronted his lovely roommate. 

“What the fuck was that Wolvie? Now she thinks she did something when you’re just a moron!” Wade huffed and got even more angry when Logan rolled his eyes, “Are you going through puberty? Is that the issue? Too much angst bottling up in you that you just can’t communicate anymore because then I think by law, I need to enroll you in high school or something.” 

“Oh, go fuck yourself I mean really do you ever shut up?” Logan muttered not wanting to look Wade in the eyes. Wade shook his head dramatically, “Nope, never it’s a disease. But I definitely won’t shut up when you hurt sweet cheeks feelings. What’s the deal? I thought you liked her?” Logan’s eyes snapped to Wade, and his anger finally boiled over. 

“Yeah, I do like her! You know this and you still get with her? What kind of shit are you playing at? Do you just get off on fucking with emotions” Logan lashed out, yelling at Wade.

Wade’s faces scrunches with confusion, “Get with her? I’m not with sweet cheeks metal man! I’ve been trying to convince her that you love her! I've been telling her all the stupid little facts about you! How do you think she knows how you like your coffee, or how you always are missing socks, she thinks you're this amazing man, and I finally had her believing that you loved her too when you wanted to act like a pre-teen! Now she’s home probably crying over the fact that you seem to hate her and can’t even be in the same room as her!” Wade groans loudly after his rant “Oh my god do I have to do everything in this universe!!” He sighed, calming himself and looked at Logan, “You are going to her apartment and apologizing and admitting your feelings for her. Then maybe you finally get fucked and I can meet the happy version of you too.” With that Wade left Logan alone to think and to get himself a beer.

Logan was left standing in his room with wide eyes. Wade was trying to convince you that he loves you…why would you need the convincing? Obviously Logan knew that he needed convincing, like look at him? Hundreds of years older than you, from a whole different universe than you, full of a dark past and trauma…but you loved him too? Or at least you did before he threw a hissy fit tonight. 

FUCK! Logan yelled out when he realized that he had to go fix this now! 

Part two

Tagging:

@userchai

@mahi-tamashi

@100percentlazybonez

@lanassmarty

@western-pyro

@misscrissfemmefatale

@marit332

@navs-bhat

@fluffy-b33z

@chaimshelii

@aoi-targaryen

@eyes-ofhell

@sad0ni0n

@fries11

[jsmifty]

micheal afton but hes old(er), horrifically alone, and a loser

i hate this but i have to show the world im still alive, rushed this in between exams instead of studying cause ofc i am

mild yap beneath cut

"why older michael?" uh what if i told you my favourite version of michael when hes cold alone and sad, with no family no friends nor bitches, and sleeping in his car and still working at a stupid pizza joint.

"but Jay underscore smifty! thats just normal micheal afton!" shh, i dont care, its better when hes a grumpy old man, because now i can pretend his in security breach, and when i watch playthroughs i can just pretend hes slightly out of frame and it makes it slightly more enjoyable. plus i really like vanessa for some reason and i think theyd get along (hate eachother) and maybe i need some fun and whimsey in my life, imaginary person in my head im responding to.

also middle aged micheal would look.. a hell of a lot more like his dad im just saying im just saying, like look at him the fear he would feel when looking in the mirror is immense, he looks like him so much more when hes older look at him im right, his insane identity crisis would be so fire

uh but yeah sorry for being inactive ive been grinding through two weeks of exams, hopefully ill be free in a day or so

P.S. I swear everything in this design makes sense and will be explained in my beloved fanfiction i have no time to write rn (insert heart broken emoji), including the walking stick, just assume his legs get kinda.. erm, screwed up at some point...

[freakyformula]

Unexpected Love part 1

Summary:

Things weren't meant to turn out this way.

I had everything thought out perfectly. My life was perfect. And then Toto came and wrecked everything.

I can feel myself becoming more bewildered and hopeless with every passing second.

I look at the stick in my hands again and confirm my worst nightmare. Two faint lines. Just like the one I took before. And the one before that. It was truly happening.

I can barely breathe as I slide down on the floor, with my knees tucked under my chin.

Tears run down my cheeks as I sob my heart out.

This is the first part of Unexpected Love, a series about Y/N, who falls in love with Toto Wolff, the CEO of Mercedes AMG Petronas Formula 1 team. Follow along on her journey, as she experiences love and desire for the first time in her life. ps. This series contains sexual themes, and may not be fitting for younger individuals.

Writers comment: I'm working on the requests you've sent me dw <3

Warnings: Major age gap and fluff

Word count: 2,9k

"Come on, Y/N, it'll be fun!" My best friend, Vanessa, laughs while yapping away about the Australian Grand Prix that will be held next week. We sit on her bed in her studio apartment, surrounded by books about engineering and car design. We were both students, both in uni, working on our theses.

"How to build a car?" I ask, holding the book up, looking at her with a charming smile. "It's written by one of the best car designers of all time, Y/N!" She laughs. "Adrian Newey..." I whisper to myself, getting more and more fascinated by the elegance and beauty of the sport.

You see, Vanessa had gotten an internship at Mercedes a year ago as a trainee mechanic, and had been pestering me about the sport and how I needed to join her for a race weekend ever since.

"I'll pay for your tickets, as long as you join, please just come with me!" She practically begs. "I've heard there are handsome dudes at the races." She looks up from her notebook and winks.

"Alright, sold!" I say in an instant, surprising myself and her. "I mean, I won't go because of the men but rather because I love you so much." In my friend group, I was the one with the least experience, and I was okay with that; it seemed like everyone else had an issue with it. I was known for being proper and shy, and I guess that made me unattractive. I didn't really mind being single, though. I actually quite enjoyed it.

"Will you really?!" She asks, not sure if I was serious or not. "As long as you pay my tickets, then yes." I smile at her.

Vanessa, being the funniest, sassiest, most outgoing person I know of, starts jumping up and down on her bed in what I can only assume is happiness, making her books and I jump along with her. "Yay!" She yells. "Melbourne, here we come!"

And just like that, I had tickets to the Melbourne Grand Prix, the first race of the season. I had to admit, I was nervous. I didn't like flying that much, and I wasn't the biggest fan of large crowds either. It seemed like I had a lot of things against me. I had been wondering what to wear ever since I agreed to go, and as I was a poor student, I couldn't afford anything expensive. My friend knew of this and assured me that one of my cute sundresses and a cardigan would suffice. So, here I was in a yellow sundress, hoping to fit in.

Friday was the first real racing day. Stakes were high, the sun was warm, but not scorching, and the city was filled with expectant people. I'm busy reading the info pamphlet as we walk to the track, with my friend excitedly babbling away about her schedule.

"Here are your tickets. Keep them on you at all times. Don't lose them!" Vanessa smiles as she slides the link with the tickets over my head and runs off to the garage to get ready for practice.

I spent the next 10 hours walking around, feeling totally lost and misplaced. I even thought about leaving early and walking back to the hotel. I knew how Vanessa would react though, she would be heartbroken. I let out a sigh of relief when I got a text from Vanessa, telling me to meet up with her near the gates. When I say I ran, I'm not exaggerating.

"Hello, darling!" She says as I hug her tightly. "How was your day?" She asks.

"It was okay." I simply state and sigh. She instantly stopped and looked at me, sensing that I wasn't enjoying my time. "Y/N, let me introduce you to someone." She blurts out and drags me along with her at a quick pace.

"Hi guys, this is my plus one, Y/N." My friend chuckles and introduces me to her colleagues, judging by their Mercedes clothing. I can't help but gaze down and feel out of place.

"Hello, Y/N, nice to meet you! Welcome to Australia!" One of the men opposite me says and offers me his hand. I look up at him, giving him a faint smile and shaking his hand. He had a kind smile and deep brown eyes that smiled down at me.

"H-Hi." I manage to blurt out as he gently lets my hand go from his firm handshake.

"How are you liking the weekend so far?" The man asks.

I look up at him, with the others looking excited to hear my opinion.

"Well..." I start. "She doesn't like it so far." My friend fills in, and to be honest, she wasn't lying. She knew me better than anyone and she definitely knew I wasn't enjoying myself without even asking.

"In that case, I think it's best if she joins us in the garage for a tour, don't you think?" The man says.

I frankly had no idea what to expect, but I humbly accepted, and parted with the rest of the group, and followed my friend and the mysterious man to the garage.

"Tadaa! This is our garage in all its glory!" My friend says as she dances around, making sure not to touch the cars or the equipment. As she dances around by herself, humming some song that was popular at the time, I walk around looking at the cars, absorbing every detail about them.

"You, Y/N need something to fit in." The man starts. "What about..." He says as he searches the lockers. "This?" He says, and hands me a Mercedes T-shirt. He even got my size right.

I look at him and accept his gift. "Thank you! This is too kind of you."

"No, Y/N, this is the least I can do." He chuckles as we watch as Vanessa hums and attempts a waltz.

The silence was palpable, except for Vanessa of course, and I started to panic, not knowing what to say as we leaned against the cupboards, standing next to each other.

"Ummm..." I start. "We should probably-"

"I'm Toto, by the way. I never told you my name." Toto says.

"Toto..." I say to myself as I look up at him. I couldn't part from his piercing gaze, and for a moment, we were stuck in each other's eyes.

"Y/N, boss, earth calling?!" Vanessa chuckles, cruelly returning us to reality. Even as Vanessa is yapping away, I feel Toto's gaze burning my skin.

"Wait... Boss?" I think, but the words happen to slip out. My eyes move between them, having more questions than answers.

"You didn't know?" Vanessa asks. "Toto is the CEO and team principal of Mercedes."

"That's right." Toto nods his head and smiles.

"What the actual..." I say in complete disbelief. Toto and Vanessa look at each other and smile, as I'm left gaping at them.

"I-I..." I say, as I look at the Mercedes T-shirt and Toto with shocked eyes, and he seems to notice. "I know, it's probably a lot to take in."

"Anyways, I'm going back to the hotel. Are you coming, Y/N?" Vanessa says as she walks out into the chill Aussie air, and I start following her.

"I should probably make sure that Y/N gets something to eat. If you want to, of course." Toto says as he moves in front of me, and looks down at me with those dark eyes of his. Usually, I wouldn't go out with a man I had met not even an hour ago, but something about Toto just lured me in.

"That is so kind, Toto, but-"

"Of course you're going!" Vanessa cuts me off and leaves me looking at her with a questioning look.

"Okay, guess I'm going..." I say, holding my hands up in defeat.

"Are you ready to go right now?" Toto asks, and I nervously nod as an answer.

"Have fun." Vanessa whispers in my ear as we walk out of the garage.

"I won't be long." I assure her.

"Sure thing..." She laughs to herself, and walks off, leaving me and Toto alone. As we walk towards the parking, I can't help feeling nervous about the whole situation. I'm about to have dinner with a CEO twice as old as me. What am I thinking?!

"I can tell you're nervous Y/N. You don't need to be." Toto stops and looks down at me with that gorgeous smile of his. "I'm just taking you out to dinner."

And he's right; it's only dinner. Nothing more, nothing less. Deep breaths.

I wasn't exactly surprised when he guided me into a Mercedes. That felt like a given at this point. This man was the brand itself.

As we got to know each other, I realise that he was quite enjoyable, despite our differences.

"I'd guess that you're... In your twenties?"

"You would be correct, sir." I giggle. "Now, my turn. My guess is that you're in your fifties." I say, scanning him for his reaction.

His face was blank for a moment before finally speaking. "My god, Y/N, you are so accurate! Do I look old?" He asks.

"Not exactly." I chuckle. "But you don't look twenty either."

Toto sighs. "Fair enough. I'm not senile, though."

"Touché." I say, as we sit in comfortable silence.

I'm almost dozing off when I'm awakened by Toto's loud ring tone. "Sorry for waking you up..." He mutters as he answers.

"I wasn't... Asleep." I say as I heard a voice on the phone which didn't sound too happy, and I started wondering if his wife was angry with him for taking me out for dinner. "I'm not having this conversation now, Susie." He says, surprisingly calmly, before switching to German. As the call ended, which felt like an eternity later, the air felt tense, and Toto looked as if he was ready to snap.

"I-I'm sorry if I got you in trouble." I finally break the silence. I'm ready to break down crying, fearing that I had ruined a perfectly good relationship.

"What? No, no Y/N! You haven't done anything wrong." He says as he grabs my hand reassuringly. "That was my soon-to-be ex-wife, Susie." He spat the last part out.

"You're married?!" I panic.

"Was." He clarifies, holding his finger up. "Trust me, Susie and I are not on good terms." Toto says, tearing his eyes from the road to scan me for any uncertainty.

Our gazes meet for what feels like forever, and he gives me a reassuring smile. What I felt at that moment cannot be described with words. Was I already falling for this man?

"We're here." He interrupts my racing thoughts. I audibly gasp as we turn onto a road to a vineyard and as I watch the rows of plantations., Toto turns to me, smiling to himself. "Never been to a vineyard before?" He asks as I take in the beauty of the endless hills and plantations.

"Never." I say in awe. "It's beautiful out here..."

"I'm glad you like it." Toto says as he parks the car and helps me out. As we make our way towards the building on the hill, which Toto told me was the restaurant, I can't help wondering what exactly brought me here. I had a feeling that I'd have to thank Vanessa at the end of the night.

"Are you okay?" Toto asks while we slowly walk towards our destination, and I quickly nod as an answer, giving him a wide smile.

"Good. I hope you like Italian food." He chuckles.

"I love Italian food actually, it's my favourite cuisine." I admit.

The restaurant was almost empty as we walked in, and we were escorted to a small booth where we could sit alone. "Order whatever you want; it's on me." Toto says as he studies the menu.

As soon as I heard that, my eyes spring up to the man sat beside me. "You don't have to do that, Toto... I can pay for myself."

Toto doesn't look at me when he continues, "Shush, Y/N, I was the one inviting you out for dinner. I will be the one paying." He says, as he calls the waiter over.

"A mushroom risotto for me please... And for the lady?" Their heads turn and all of a sudden, the attention was on me.

"Umm..." I'm left panicking, unable to read, or breathe for that matter. "I-I'll have the same thing." I announce, making the waiter nod and walk off.

As the day turns to night, Toto and I keep talking, getting to know each other.

"And so, that's how I became team principal." Toto finishes off his story.

"Wow, you've seen a lot through the years." I smile to myself while sipping on the red wine Toto had insisted he'd get for me. The price tag, I feared, was juicy.

"Here you go, two mushroom risottos." The waiter announced as he carried the two plates our way.

"Thank you!" We said at the same time.

I could feel myself getting tipsy and more relaxed as the evening progressed and Toto for sure noticed. The fact that I was enjoying my time made him relax too, making our conversation more easy-going. I have to admit, I was really enjoying myself.

"Are you ready to leave? I'm sure Vanessa will alert the authorities if I keep you for much longer." Toto looks down at his clock and sighs. "We've been here for a little over 3 hours."

"Sure thing." I say as we get up. As he had already promised, he paid the bill, much to my dismay.

On our way down the hill, we walk a little closer than we did before, close enough to touch hands, close enough to feel the heat radiating of each others bodies.

"I've had the best evening." Toto starts, "I haven't had this fun in a long time."

"I feel the same way." I smile up at him, and stop in my tracks, taking the grace of him in. He turns around, surely wondering why I stopped.

At that moment, I have no idea what got into me, but I clap his arm, and run towards his car. "You're it!" I yell.

I run down the hill playfully, with Toto in close tow, as I snort with laughter. When he gets close enough, he lifts me up and slows down, carrying me on his shoulder all the way to his car.

"Toto! Let me down!" I protest.

"You little riot!" He laughs as he walks up to the car, while letting me down carefully. "Now, back to the hotel? We've got a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

"Yes, please." I reply, smiling up at him, earning a smile back from him as he helps me into the car.

The journey back to the hotel was blissfully silent, and it felt as if no words were required, as if everything was said in our minds.

"And we're here." Toto says as he approaches our hotel and stops at the entrance. "Let me take you back to your room." He says as he guides me to the lifts.

"I will find my way back to my room, Toto." I try to protest, not wanting to be an inconvenience to him.

"I'm sure you will, Y/N, but I want to make sure." He says as we enter the lift. As the doors close, Toto approaches. He was terrifying in this close proximity, and I automatically tense up.

"Shhh..." Toto shushes me. "No need to be scared, Y/N."

I won't lie, his words didn't exactly calm me down, but on the contrary, his closeness made me feel safe, and I didn't have the strength to move away. Something about him just reeled me in, fast, and I bet Toto noticed how my breathing became faster.

Faster than I would've preferred, the elevator stopped and we step out. "I enjoy your company, we should do this again." Toto admits as we slowly walk along the corridor. "I agree, Toto. I really enjoyed this, just let me know when you want to do it again."

"How am I going to do that if I don't have your number?" He asks.

"Smooth, Mr. Wolff." I say, earning a shrug from him, as I dig through my bag for a pen. "Here!" I hold the ballpoint pen up in the air like a prized possession as Toto giggles at my antics. "Hand, please." I ask, and Toto willingly offers me his hand. With a certain level of clumsiness, I manage to write my number in his hand.

"This is it, 303, my room." I announce. The silence that follows is awkward, and none of us seem to know what to say.

"I..." I start. "I've had a good time tonight." I say as I smile up at him.

"Likewise." Toto says while taking my hand and giving it a light squeeze. "See you soon, sunshine." He nods at me as I close the door behind me, letting out a heavy sigh, finally getting to relax.

"Hello, sunshine." Vanessa announces as I close the door.

"Vanessa? What the fuck-"

"You've been gone for hours, now tell me everything. How did it go?"

"Okay, you won't believe it..." I say, and as the night progressed, Vanessa questioned me about our dinner, and I readily provided every detail. Vanessa probably had no idea her boss had such a tender side, and I considered myself fortunate to have witnessed it myself.

We both fell asleep, worn out and exhausted. As I stare up at the roof, Vanessa is already snoring beside me, and I can't help but wonder what Toto is doing at this exact time. Was he thinking about me, or was he looking for his next fling? One never knows, but I fell asleep pleased and content, with one question in mind: when will he contact me again?

[xetlynn]

Scars and Faint Memories

Vanessa Palmer x fem! reader!

chapter one-> chapter two

••• in which [name] [last name]’s team has just won their last game meaning they’re heading to nationals! But unfortunately there’s a teammate who is slacking due to being a freshman and lacking experience. And there’s talk of freezing her out. And not even moments later a freak accident happens where her bone is now sticking out of her leg leading to arguments and tension within the team before their flight to nationals.

warnings: underaged drug and alcohol use. Things that happen in yellowjackets.

2021

The clock was ticking irritatingly slow, the sun shining brightly through the window and to you it was as if it were to purposely agitate you while you typed away on your computer. Attempting to finish the project your boss had asked of you last minute… as usual. 

You felt your knuckles tense as you grew more and more annoyed with today. It was going by incredibly long and excruciating, your eyes sauntering down to the little corner of your screen, only a minute has passed since you last checked it. “[Name],” a voice speaks from behind you, startling you out of your daze. “Yes?” You spun around, trying to force a smile upon your lips but it was no use. It just looked like you were constipated. 

“Break time.” It was your boss's secretary, the very same lady having an affair with him behind his wife’s back. Your typical story of a unleashed married man being in power. You walked in on them once and was given a raise along with additional paid time off to keep your mouth shut. “It’s only 10:30.” You respond dryly, you usually take your break around 11:15. This was taking you off schedule and you didn’t like it. 

“Mr. Isik  needs you around your usual break time. Sorry.” She apologetically bows her head, her eyes averting yours as normal ever since you saw her bare body on display on your bosses desk. “Mm, okay.” You sigh deeply, standing up from your spot. Grabbing your tote bag before heading into the employee break room. A few typical stares came your way by the same people everyday. You worked with them, you have been for years and still they can’t leave you be. 

You sit down at one of the many tables, making sure it’s against the wall and you can be alone. You get out your earbuds, putting them in to play music. Drowning out the noise of your fellow coworkers that indulge in their own food. 

Pulling out a sandwich out of your lunchbox, you lean back against the chair as you take that first bite. Finally not having to be right against a screen. Closing your eyes to get the peace they needed. 

The peace wasn’t satisfyingly long enough though, it was time to get back to work. Time to go back to typing away. Sucking in a breath through your teeth, you fling your bag over your shoulder and head back to your cubicle. You’re stopped before you can even reach it though, your boss standing in front of you with a nervous smile. “Heyy, [Last Name]!” He booms, only earning an awkward stance back from you, your face straight and bored. 

“Yes, Isik?” You roll your eyes, leaning on your right leg. “I need you in my office for a little, okay?” He says in a more inquisitive tone, which makes you raise a brow. “Uh, sure.” You follow him to his office, he opens the door to show a woman standing there with a pad of paper and a pen. “What is this?” You clutch onto your bag.

This was all too familiar the same confident expression on the person’s face, ready to question you over a traumatic event that happened to you as a child 25 years ago. “This is-”

“I’m Jessica Cruz…”

1996

Out on the field, you’re staying in the back with Lottie. Watching as midfielder, Taissa is expertly moving upfield with the ball.

Negotiating through the defenders on the other team. Kicking the ball in a perfectly-aimed pass to your captain, Jackie who connects and taps the ball just past the Goalie and into the net. It went quiet for only a second before your ears were rudely attacked by screams of your teammates. 

Lottie jumps into the air, clinging onto you even through the sweat that covered the both of you. A rare genuine smile erupts on your face, holding her back. You glance back to your goalie who runs and jumps the two of you.

“C’mon let's join them!” She screams, gripping the both of you and the three of you run to the crowd excitedly. Your Gold and Blue team high five, hug and cheer as you guys have just qualified for the U.S. Girls’ National Championship!

You scan the group of girls for your best friend, once your eyes spot her she has already done the same, jogging up to you. Taking your hands and the two of you jump up and down. “We did it!” She laughs ecstatically and you nod your head grinning. “I can’t believe it!” You breathe out. Your chest was tight with the joy you felt. 

The two of you walk with one another, linked by each other’s arms down the field. You were searching around the crowd on the bleachers for your family. Hoping that for once your mom was sitting there with your younger siblings. Natalie knew the drill, her steps slower so that you can scan the area.

Unfortunately only seeing your little brother and sister cheering for you alone. Your mother behind the gate taking a phone call from her newest personal phone she bought instead of getting you the new cleats you begged for. 

You’re 18 though so… you obviously ended up working for it yourself. 

“Can you grab my stuff for me?” You quietly mutter out, the bleach blond nodding her head. Squeezing your wrist twice before jogging off to the locker room.

You head over to your siblings with a forced smile, opening your arms. “Hi my little ones!” You beam, they reach over to grip you into a sticky hug. Their small arms embracing you. “You were so cool out there, [Name]!” Theo, your 9 year old brother exclaims with a bright look in his eyes. 

You chuckle. “One day I’ll show you to be just as cool.” You ruffle his hair. “Me too, right?” Tilly, she’s 6 with her front two teeth missing. Just as cute as your brother. You scrunch your nose. “I thought you didn’t want to play soccer?” 

“Oh… Well you can still teach me to be cool too.” She sasses causing you to laugh, not noticing the girl who was walking up behind you. Your siblings did though, the redhead put her finger up to her lips.

Motioning for the young ones to not give her away. Theo gave a small nod and Tilly tried hard not to give it away with her little giggles as you continued to talk to them about their chores they had to do tonight. 

“If we get them done, you guys can help me with something fu-” 

“Boo!” A hand slams down on your shoulder, your body jolts, along with a small high-pitched noise leaving your mouth. “Holy shit- Van?” You hold your chest as Theo and Tilly burst into laughter, feeding the girl’s ego in front of you. “Sorry, it was just too good not to.” She apologizes, folding her arms in front of her chest. “Right, whatever.” You playfully roll your eyes. 

“Is there something I can do for you?” You tilt your head to the side. It wasn’t meant to be rude by any means. You and Van just weren’t close. Of course being on the team together for four years, the two of you have had to spend a lot of time with one another but you kept to yourself unless absolutely necessary. Well, Natalie, your best friend was an exception. 

“Oh uh, I was just coming over to say that aerial duel you got us was fucking sick.” She tells you truthfully and your face heats up. “That- that was nothing,” you nervously chuckled. “That second block you did was crazy, the dive you did- seriously I think that’s a huge reason we got ahead.” You stammered. This is why you kept to yourself. Your social anxiety controlled every aspect of your life when you talked to literally anyone. 

“Pshh, I’m talking about you right now. You were seriously amazing, don’t downplay it.” Van gently hits your arm with her fist. “Right, thank you. I mean it though. It was really cool.” You nudge her back. Then the both of you awkwardly stand there, not knowing how to end the conversation. “Sissy, mom wants us to hurry. She has to get back to her computer.” Tilly tugs at your jersey, and silently you thank her. 

Practically praise her for cutting this weird moment between you and your teammate. “Okay, tell her that Nat is getting my things from the locker room. I’ll be right there.” You tell the two who nod their heads and scurry off to your mother. 

“Want to walk with me?” You hear beside you and you look to still see Vanessa standing there. You figured she would’ve ran off after Tilly interrupted you guys. “Oh… sure.” You shrug your shoulders. 

The two of you walk side by side, quietly. Watching your teammates either entering the school building or talking with their family members as well. “They’re cute.” Van says and you hum. “Yeah, thank you.” You smile to yourself. You loved your siblings with your whole being. “I think I’m blanking on their names, I want to say the girl is Tilly?” 

“Yeah, Tilly- Well, Matilda but you have to call her Tilly or she won’t respond. And Theodore or Theo, he doesn’t really care what you call him.” You inform her,opening the door to the school building, allowing her to go in first. 

“Oh, how cute. Your names oddly fit so well.” She comments leaving you a little confused. “Is that a good thing?” You question, this time she’s opening the locker room door for you. “Yeah-”

Before she can continue though Natalie is shoving your duffle bag and backpack into your arms. “Sorry [Nickname] I got caught up in… something… oh hey Van?” She glances between the two of you and you smile softly. “It’s alright, she’s waiting for us. Let’s go.” You swing your backpack over your shoulders. 

“Right,” Natalie huffs. 

“Bye Van, thanks for walking with me. See you!” 

“See ya, [Nickname].” She teases you to which your face turns warm just like before. But instead of saying anything you grab onto your best friend and hurry off. Not wanting to hear your mom lecture you for “taking your time.” 

“I didn’t know you were friends with Vanessa Palmer?” Natalie snickers, poking your side to which you shove her away. “I didn’t think I was? She just came up to me after the game! She’s never done that before.” You explain, wiping the sweat from your forehead as you push through the metal and glass door. 

“Hm, weird it’s almost the end of the season and school. And now she wants to be your friend?” Natalie raises a brow to which you shrug your shoulders. Arriving at your mother’s car and the two of you climb. 

“Hey, sweetie. How was the game?” Your mom gruffs out, lighting a cigarette while beginning to drive. Your mood deflates a bit at her question. If she actually paid attention she would know how the game was. “We won.” You curtly answered while staring out the window. 

“Oh congrats you two! That means Nationals next, huh?” She smacks a hand down on your thigh, excitedly shaking it. “Yup, I heard Lottie’s dad might be paying for everything.” You sigh out and Natalie agrees. “I heard the same thing.” 

“I’m the only freshman who got asked, you know. And now it doesn’t even matter. It’s so unfair.” Allie pouts to which you roll your eyes at the younger girl's antics. You stand beside Taissa after she helped you paint a bee on your face for the pep rally. Shauna and Natalie share a small exchange of looks. “My dress was gonna be amazing.” Allie continues her idiotic complaint. 

“At least you can wear it next year.” Van comments and you hum in agreement. 

“You don’t get it Van, ‘cause nobody asked you.”

You scoff at her words. “What a weird thing to say.” You murmur, pushing past the group into the actual locker room. You made sure you were loud enough to be heard as well. 

Van follows after you with a very subtle smile placed upon her lips. “It didn’t hurt my feelings, y’know.” Her voice speaks as you're tying your tennis shoe against the bench. “You’re better than me then. I would’ve brought up the fact that we’d most likely be perfectly fine without her even on the team anyways if the prom is that important.” You boredly look up to the redhead who snorts out a laugh. 

“That’s a little harsh.” She sits beside you and you purse out your lips. “A little. But it’s the truth, is it not?” Your eyes meet with hers. You watch as she takes a deep breath as if she had just lost it. She nods her head. 

“Now, our next act needs no introduction. So let’s all just make some noise for your New Jersey State Girls’ Soccer Champions!” Vice Principal Berzonsky announces you guys as Music Factory blares from the speakers. The crowd boredly cheers. Your team is jogging out on the court, you hear Misty cheering the loudest. The weird girl who became the equipment manager since she didn’t make the team. 

It seemed to have made the other students build in their own applause with the wooden bleachers beginning to rumble. 

You stand between Lottie and Natalie, feeling a sense of pride and appreciation. It was like a wave of adrenaline has hit you. Hard. A feeling that doesn’t come around much to you. A feeling you soak up with your fellow teammates. Turning your head to look at the girls who have been with you through it all. 

2021

“I’m Jessica Cruz, it’s wonderful to finally meet you [Name] [Last Name].” She shoots out a hand in your direction and you glare down at it without moving your own. Your boss feels the tension in the room.

“I’m gonna give you two some privacy! I’ll be doing some stocking checks.” He announces, leaving the room before there were any objections, shutting the door behind him. 

“Do you remember me?” Jessica asks and you let out a dry chuckle. “This is a new low, Jessica Cruz. Should I get a restraining order?” You look her up and down apathetically. 

“No need for that, I just want to offer you something more than anyone else could ever do.” She leans against the large wooden desk and you plop your bags down on the chair ahead of her. “Offer away, wouldn’t change a thing Sweetheart.” You motion for her to go ahead, hands on your hips. 

“7 figures, to sit with me and write a book about your side of the story. Your story of what happened to you out there. Seven figures.” She thinks since you're in the corporate business this is how she can get you. 

How sorely mistaken is she? 

“I made that all by myself in my twenties. Hit me harder, Jess.” You wave at her, same expression. 

She lets out a little snicker. “You’ve made seven figures? I find that hard to believe-”

“I’d watch your next few words.” You warn her, reminding her of why she’s here. “What if I told you the others did speak?” She has a smug expression, an expression you were tempted to… Anyways. 

You break out into a small grin trying not to laugh. “Right.” You gave her a large smile this time. “I’m gonna get back to work now.” You say condescendingly, “thank you for wasting my time.” You swing your bag back over your shoulder. “Wait- wait.” She reaches out for you, you back away before she can touch you though. 

“I can seriously offer you anything, you can be anonymous. Get your story out there. I’m sure one of the others had done something back then. We can work something out.” Jessica didn’t seem like the type to sound desperate but it sort of intrigued you. 

“Who do you think did me dirty? Since you know it all.” You raise your brows, waiting for her reply. It was only getting humorous for you now. It was typical of reporters. To try and get you to speak, give them a sliver of what happened to you guys out there. Especially after getting back home 25 years ago they were like weeds that kept popping up out of nowhere.

“Well, I heard you were close with a few back then. Now… you’re all alone. You blocked everyone. But I have a feeling something pushed you to that point. Vanessa Palmer seems to have the most distaste for you.” 

Your heart drops to the sound of her name. A name that was almost foreign to you now. Your eyes advert to another area. “Seems like I’m right.” She lowly chuckles. 

“Doesn’t matter, I’m not the type to speak ill of others.” You step to the door. “Truly thank you for making my day a bit more interesting. Hopefully I never see you again though.” You swing the door open and rush to your cubicle before she tries to stop you again.

And at the end of the day, as you sit on your couch in silence. You find yourself thinking about the redhead that that woman had mentioned earlier in the day. You feel sick to your stomach. 

Your eyes trailing upward to the pictures on your wall, filled with her face. Pictures you couldn’t get yourself to take down fifteen years ago. Feeling anger seep through you, you go to grab a pillow but a phone call interrupts what you’re doing. 

1996

Shauna and you were walking beside one another as you’re on your way to practice.  Noticing Natalie, Taissa and Lottie the two of you head over. “This is what we’ve been working for all season. You really want to take that chance?” Tai questions, you scrunch your eyebrows confused.

“Yeah. ‘Cause I’m not a fucking asshole.” Natalie crosses her arms with a stern look on her face. You link your arms with hers. “What’s happening?” You mutter out. “Yeah, what are you guys talking about?” Shauna quizzes. 

The three glance towards Allie, flirting hard with seniors and juniors on the other side of the courtyard. “Allie.” Lottie speaks. “What about her?” Shauna asks. 

“Did you black out at States? She totally choked.” Taissa reminds the girl and you purse out your lips. “She’s a freshman, Tai.” Natalie stands up for her, which kind of surprises you. “She’s a liability.” Taissa argues. 

“I mean that is true but… we can probably help her.” You attempt to stand behind your best friend.  Taissa scoffs at you. “You’re her number one hater during games and now you think we can help her?” 

“That’s different, I do that with all of you guys when you’re slacking.” You point at her and she sighs knowing that you’re not lying about that. 

“What do you want to do about it?” Shauna butts in now. Natalie and Taissa share a glance with one another. “She can’t screw up if she doesn’t get the ball.” 

“You want to freeze her out?” Shauna frowns and you do the same. “We’d basically be a man down. At Nationals.” Natalie brings up to which you hum. 

“At least we’d know what we’re working with.” As much as you want to agree with Taissa right now, you know it’s not the best decision. “I don’t know, Tai. She kinda sucks, but… it doesn’t feel right.” Lottie steps in on Natalie’s side. 

“That’s because it’s bullshit.” Nat spits. 

“Oh yeah? What’s your plan, then?” Taissa snaps in an irritated tone. “I dunno, play like a fucking team and win? It’s worked so far.” Natalie exclaims, gripping onto your arm now. You allow it, beginning to zone out due to the arguing. Not knowing what to do to push it in another direction. “Everything works until it doesn’t.” 

“And for the record, you smell like a wino. [Name] make sure your best friend gets her shit together.” Taissa steps a little closer and you furrow your brows. “You know what? Fuck this.” Your best friend storms off, letting go of your arm. 

“That wasn’t cool, Tai. I also don’t think this is a good idea. The others wouldn’t agree to this and you know it.” You say before following after Natalie in a hurry. Not hearing what the other three have decided on. Feeling incredibly disappointed in your teammate’s choice of words against Natalie. 

“Okay, circle up!” Coach Ben Scott whistles as he jogs onto the field. The girls all gather up to him. “JV’s gonna help us out with a little scrimmage today. Coach Martinez had to take care of a family thing. So grab a pinny from Misty and let’s get started.” Ben explains and as the girls begin to do as told, Laura Lee speaks up. “Excuse me, Coach Scott? Shouldn’t we say a prayer first?” 

 A few girls' eyes roll but you smile softly in her direction. You don’t mind Laura Lee’s religiousness, it’s sweet. She’s polite and respectful about it. She just wants the best for others. 

“It’s just a scrimmage, Laura Lee.” He starts but based on her expression in return he lets out a sigh. “Sure. Knock yourself out.” The team then forms a circle, heads bowed and hands joined together. 

“Heavenly Father, let our efforts be fruitful, so that we may perform in ways glorious to you… May our hearts remain open and our bodies safe from harm. In your name we pray, amen.” 

Due to this Scrimmage you’ve decided to play goalie on the other side. You’ve been observing everyone, especially Taissa and Allie. It’s not going in Taissa’s favor due to Natalie stopping it every time. 

Taissa gets annoyed further, taking off her red pinny and throwing it aside. Jackie steps it but obviously it’s all inaudible to you. 

They begin to play and Taissa is now pressuring Allie. Allie jumps for a header and Taissa instinctively juts her foot out, catching Allie’s ankle as she comes back down. 

All the way on the other side of the field you can hear the sickening, almost deafening snap to Allie’s leg which causes her to collapse. Everyone runs to the girl. She cries out, Lottie screams. 

You head to Van who was throwing up, You make sure her hair is out of her face. “Shit,” you mutter, making sure to avoid looking at the girl on the grass. “C’mon.” You tell Van once she calms down a bit. “Let’s get away from here.” You frown, helping her stand up straight as she wipes her mouth. 

“That was a lot of fucking blood.” She comments and you hum in response. “Did you see that shit?” 

“Yup, bone out the body and everything.” You huff, opening the door to go into the locker room. “You’re not affected by it?” She asks and you sit her down and go get your water bottle. 

“Nah, I’ve seen worse.” You mumble, handing it over and she raises a brow. “You could’ve just gotten mine, ya know?” She asks and you shrug. “I saw you have it with you out on the field so I don’t think so.” 

“Oh,” Van’s shoulders fell. “Mhm, just drink. You were out in the sun and then threw up. I’m sure you’re extremely dehydrated.” 

Van goes to say something but then the door swings open, the others coming in. “Holy shit that was so gross!”

“That was insane!” 

A bunch of girls comment and you press your lips together. Plopping down beside the redhead. “This water just tastes like vomit.” She cringes and you chuckle. “I might have a granola bar, hold on.” You head back over to your locker, digging through your backpack. 

But once the Seniors entered the locker room they all grew quiet and on edge. You wanted to laugh at it but instead ignored everyone as you handed your granola bar over to Van, sitting back down with her. “Thanks,” she whispers, opening the wrapper and taking a single bite before drinking the water again. 

Taissa sat by herself, everyone avoiding eye contact except for you who was observing everyone. Finding humor in a horrible situation. What you didn’t notice was the person beside you staring at you. Practically burning a hole in your face. Witnessing the curvature of your lips each time you found something funny in your head. Making her want to laugh as well. It was such an awkward situation. 

“I know we’re all worried about Allie. But I really think we need to focus on the positive right now. It might not be as bad as it looks.” Jackie’s voice cuts through the tension, earning everyone’s attention now. 

“You could see her fucking bones, Jackie. I’m pretty sure it’s exactly as bad as it looks.” Natalie interjects and you nod your head with a sorry expression towards your captain. “Oh god. I think I’m gonna puke again..” Van holds her stomach and you rub her back. “Focus on something else.” You quietly tell her. “Try to picture something you enjoy.” 

“I mean, we’re still a team. And we still have each other. And…” Jackie tries to recover and give hope to everyone but it seems to be a fruitless attempt. 

“And we have Jesus.” Laura Lee helpfully says and you bite your bottom lip trying not to let out a laugh. “This wasn’t exactly a big win for the power of prayer, Tammy Faye.” Lottie scoffs. “The Lord works in mysterious wa-” A bang of a locker cuts her off. Your eyes shoot to your best friend who had been the one to do it, stalking out of the room. 

You then finally let go as you can’t hold it any longer. Your chest shaking as you laugh silently, you had to bend down because of it. “Hey, you okay?” A hand lands on you, only making you laugh harder. 

“I- I’m fine!” You wipe your tears. “Sorry, sorry.” You take a breather. The sudden empathy you had gained had dispersed just as easily. “You’re seriously laughing right now?” Shauna questions and you nod your head. 

“This is so stupid!” You giggle. “Everyone is upset. I can clearly see that.” You stand up. 

“But it doesn’t matter, we’re going to kick ass at nationals. Yes it’s unfortunate what happened to Allie. But there’s nothing we can do now!” You laugh out. “Nothing!” You throw your hands up. 

Taissa and Van were smiling up at you, trying not to join your giggle fit. 

You turn to Van. “I gotta go though. Finish the water, you can give it back whenever. I have more.” You grab your bags. “Make sure to drink more too, don’t want to be too dehydrated.” You winked, heading out of the room. Leaving the others kind of curious about your reaction you just had to everything. 

As you weren’t even thinking about it. Just making sure you head to your moms car before being lectured about taking so long. 

“You ready for tonight?” Natalie’s voice sounds over the phone line and you smile. “Yes, I’m ready to let loose before nationals.” You groan, keeping the phone up to your ear with your shoulder as you do your mascara. 

“What are you wearing?” She asks. “Mm trying to get in my pants are you?” You joke. 

“Possibly.” The both of you laugh. 

“But seriously, what you wearing, miss caregiver?” She repeats and you let out a gasp. “Oh don’t even!” You roll your eyes even though she can’t see it. 

“What? That you totally have a random thing for Vanessa Palmer!?” She cackles at your antics and you let out a large breath of air. “I don’t have a thing for her, oh my gosh.” You hide your face in your hands. “I was just helping her out!” You defend yourself. 

“Right, right. Let’s see you do it again tonight too.” Natalie comments and before you can say something again she speaks up. “Now please just tell me what you are wearing.” She’s the only person who knows about you being… gay. Liking women and such.

You felt lonely with the thoughts in your head. Thoughts that only kept getting louder and louder. You had to tell someone and so you went to your best friend. Even though you didn’t know her stance of homosexuality you knew her love for you. You knew she’d understand and stay. 

“Okay, okay. I’m just wearing that one outfit we bought at the thrift store with tights.” You stand from your vanity. “Oh! Jackie said that Jeff can pick me up. I don’t need that ride anymore.” You say absentmindedly while fixing one last thing with your fit. 

“Really? You’re gonna third wheel with Jackie and Jeff?” 

“Well Shauna will be there. So not really.” You knew either way you’re going to be witnessing something and become a third wheel but you didn’t mind it. You could ignore it. 

A honk outside interrupts your next sentence. “Oh, speak of the devil. I’ll see you at the party. Love you!!!” You wait for her to say it back before slamming the phone down and rushing downstairs with your tote bag. 

“Bye mom! I’ll be back tonight!” You say loud enough for her to hear but not too loud to wake up your siblings or be heard in her phone call. You scurry out the front door and wave to the three in the car.

His headlights were so bright though you couldn’t even see them inside of the vehicle. Jeff rolls his window down. “Wow, I’ve never seen you without jeans on.” He commentates and you smirk. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t get used to it.” You climb into the backseat with Shauna. 

“He’s right, you look so hot right now!” Jackie contorts her body to look back at you. You scoff out a laugh, “thanks, so do you.” You plop down and buckle up immediately after. Clicking the button then doing it a second and third time. 

The ride was smooth, almost a little boring. Shauna kept eyeing you, wanting to ask about your reaction from earlier. Your reaction to Allie’s bone being out of her body. And all you could do was laugh. It had to be a nervous thing right?

You stared out the window, not paying any mind to the glances. Just wanting to let loose with your best friend. 

You aren’t really close to the other girls. Sure they’re nice and they look up to you in sport. But outside of it, you feel out of place. Jackie used to try to be your friend in the beginning. Attempt at winning you as someone close like she is with Shauna. But it never worked. Your social awkwardness won. After two years she finally gave up. 

Sometimes she still offers things like tonight. Making Jeff give you a ride to the party tonight since she overheard you talking about not really having one with Lottie. 

“Alright we’re here!” The car halts into park, and you unbuckle your seatbelt- once this time. Everyone climbed out of the car. You wiggled the handle three times before shutting the door.

“I’ll see you guys, thanks for the ride Jeff!” You patted his shoulder before going into the crowd of people. Knowing exactly where your best friend will be.

“Nat!” You call out, pushing through a few people to get to Goth and your best friend who stands by the bonfire. “[Name]! C’mere, try this.” Goth shoves a cup in your hand and you raise a brow. “What is this?” 

“Just try it [Nickname].” Natalie snickers and so you do but immediately regret it right afterward. Spitting the liquid out. “The fuck is that?” You rub the drink from your chin, scrunching your face in disgust. 

Before they can answer, Smartass is running up to the both of you. “You guys, my cousin hooked us up.” He huffs out of breath, your eyes flicker between him and Natalie, confused by what he meant. “You got it?” 

“Got what?” 

Smartass grins, holding up several tiny squares of paper printed with the anarchy symbol. “I have six words, my friend. Lucy in the sky with Diamonds.” 

“That is, like, literally the least efficient way to say that.” Goth scoffs and you giggle. Natalie snatches one of the tabs from his palm. “Dude. Don’t you both leave for the Olympics or whatever tomorrow?” 

“Yeah. We do.” She gives them a look, almost daring them to say something else as you hold yourself. A little uncomfortable but you stay to make sure your best friend is safe. Not knowing what else to do. Yeah you plan on drinking, maybe a joint later on but not shrooms. 

You watch as she takes a hit, passing it to another and you glance around. You were beginning to second guess yourself on coming tonight. This isn’t really your scene and if you wanted to let loose you could’ve done so alone and in your room while listening to music and painting. 

“I’m gonna go find Lottie.” You tell Natalie, saying your quick goodbye to the other two. “I’ll meet up with you in a sec.” Natalie calls after you, you don’t even turn around to acknowledge it. Knowing she most likely will forget that statement. Or probably already did if the drugs hit. 

It was strange, it was loud, people were talking and dancing but you felt the opposite. Quiet and lonesome even in the crowd. Gently moving past bodies that didn’t even realize you were there. Your eyes scan the area patiently. “[Name]!” You hear beside you, your eyebrows furrow and there’s Taissa. Waiting in line for a beer.

“Hey, Tai!” You wave, meeting up with her. “Want a drink?” She offers for you to wait with her which catches you off guard. 

It shouldn’t because Taissa and you used to be close in middle school before going separate ways entering high school. “Would love one actually.” You curtly laugh, bumping into her arm as you stand with her. “You know what I did earlier wasn’t on purpose, right?” She asks and you look at her with a concerned expression. Her own face showed remorse and fear?

“I would hope so.” You chuckle, her lips fidget upwards a little bit but not by much making you suck in a breath to get serious for her. 

“Tai, I do not believe you did that on purpose. It was a freak accident.” It was something you truly thought, why would Taissa purposely break a girl's leg. “Thank you.” She sighs, her arm looping with yours.

“I guess I needed reassurance.” She mutters. “We all do sometimes.” Your hip bumps hers and she lays her head on yours. 

“I admire your resilience, Tai. It can’t be easy knowing you fucking cripled someone today.” A voice speaks from behind the both of you, your heart drops at the callus words that come from Shauna. “Cool. Good talk.” Taissa begins to move herself from the situation before it escalates. You grab two drinks for the both of you. Going to follow after. 

“Just admit you did it on purpose.” Shauna folds her arms and you step between them. “Shauna you’re drunk. Knock it off.” You warn her.

“This isn’t about you, [Name]. Step out of it.” She attempts to move you but you stand still with a now scrunched face. “Shauna, stop.” You feel people watching now. “You’re a sociopath.” Shauna points to the girl behind you. “Hey, Shauna, take it easy.” Van comes over, putting a hand on Shauna’s shoulder who only shrugs it off. 

“Good news, you guys. We don’t have to worry about the Allie problem anymore. Taissa fixed it for us.” She’s on a roll tonight, and you were getting frustrated. “What’s she talking about?” Laura Lee comes up to the group. You hadn’t even noticed your other teammates were showing up. 

“She’s talking about Taissa’s little plan.” Natalie joins and you want to cover your face. This is not what you guys need. An argument before nationals. “Please. Since when do you give a shit anyway? Don’t you have a bong to hit or a dick to suck or something?” Taissa snaps and you watch as your best friend’s face contorts. 

“Hey. Don’t talk to her that way.” Shauna stands up for Natalie as you stand there frozen. It was getting too much. Too much confrontation.

“Oh, fuck off, Shauna. I don’t need you to defend me. Last I checked, you were fine with the whole freeze her out strategy.” Natalie shuts the drunken girl down. 

“Seriously, what are you guys talking about?” Laura Lee chimes in once again. “Shut the fuck up Laura Lee!” The three who had been arguing all shouted at her. 

Your chest tightened at the loudness of their tones. Everyone starts to fight, all yelling at once. Everyone interrupts one another. You stay silent, not knowing how to calm the situation. Thinking calmly, you were normally level headed. Taking a deep breath you drop your drink that hadn’t even gotten sipped on. Using your pointer and middle fingers on both hands and whistling loudly. Scaring the group.

Noticing Jackie also coming into the scene. “Alright, ENOUGH!” You yell, the two of you thrusting yourselves into the middle of everyone. 

Jackie crosses her arms, glaring at everyone while she stands beside you. “Yellowjackets, with me.” She orders, stomping off into the woods with you practically connected at her hip. “What the hell happened?” She whispers and you just look at her before looking ahead. 

The team stands around as Jackie paces in front of them. You are standing still, sizing everyone up with disappointment. Even towards your best friend who definitely felt it radiating off of you. 

“I don’t know what the fuck that was, but I do know that it’s over. We’re about to go to Nationals, you guys. Nationals!” She exclaims. “And based on what I’m looking at right now, we might as well not even bother getting on that plane.” 

She pauses as she thinks for a moment, going back to your side and pursing out her lips. “Alright, everybody line up.” She directs but nobody moves. 

“She said to line up!” You express with irritation, everyone is surprised by your tone, and by reflex they do as told. “I’m going to talk to you like adults. Is that okay with you?” Jackie asks, causing everyone to smile at Coach Martinez’s catchphrase. 

“Coach is always telling us that you can’t win without three things. Talent. Trust. And Respect. I mean, Coach also talks a lot of bullshit, but I’m pretty sure he’s right about that. So here’s what we’re gonna do. I want each of you to go down this line and say one nice- true- thing about every other girl on this team.” Jackie does her speech and it leaves the others confused on if she’s actually serious. Exchanging looks with one another. 

“What is this, fucking Girl Scout camp?” Taissa is the first to speak up and you roll your eyes trying not to laugh.”[Name] and I will go first.” Jackie looks at you and you boredly do the same. “[Name] you are weirdly mysterious, I think everyone can agree-”

“I thought you were supposed to say nice things.” You look her up and down to which everyone laughs at. Even her. 

“I’m getting there.” She giggles, “you’re mysterious, I feel like I know almost nothing about you. But somehow you’re the most comforting. Even when you’re laughing at the fact that a girl's bone was out of her body today.” She tells you truthfully to which you smile, slightly amused thinking back to earlier in the day. 

“Jackie, you’re incredibly persistent and true to yourself. I respect that.” It was short but it meant a lot to the girl in front of you. Her eyes seem to light up at your words and she grins. “Do you want to continue or should I?” She quietly asks and you shrug. “I’ll give it a try.” You wink.

Heading right to Taissa. 

“Tai- Taissa… Miss Turner if you will-” “Oh my god, shut up.” She laughs and you scrunch your nose with a smile. “You are incredibly headstrong, you fight for what you believe in and it’s very influential. I love it.” 

Moving onto the next, which is Laura Lee. “You’re very sweet, keeping to your faith even though others push you down. You don’t let it get to you, and I admire that heavily.” You take her hand gently to which she grins at you. “Thank you, [Name].” She rubs the back of your hand with her thumb. 

“Lottie Matthews.” You look up at her, grabbing her shoulders. “You are a breath of fresh air. I enjoy the talks we have on the field while we’re getting ready. You’re so comforting sometimes I think you could manipulate me into something crazy.” She rolls her eyes but mouths a thank you as you move to the next person- your best friend. 

“Nat, I don’t think I have to say much I haven’t said already. You’re my fucking ride or die even if I’ve done something so fucking stupid.”

Natalie blows a kiss at you and you catch it to place it on your heart very dramatically. “Shauna, you might be the most interesting person I’ve ever met. Do I know specifically why? Not really but I know you’re amazing and I think that’s a good part of it.” You say. Shauna is giving you a look that’s almost unreadable but then she laughs. 

“I could say the same thing about you.” 

“And lastly, Vanessa Palmer.” You sigh out, cheesing ear to ear. “Say that like it’s a bad thing.” The redhead nudges you. “It might be, you never know.” You joke causing her to gasp, gently slapping your arm. 

“Okay, okay, I will say you’re probably the funniest person ever. Your film knowledge is also impeccable. I know that when I need a good laugh I can come to you.” 

“You seem to laugh pretty easily, but I’m glad I’m up there as the funniest.” Van says and you press your lips together trying to prove her wrong but you can’t help the little snicker that escapes. “Yeah, it’s not hard to make me laugh.” You beam. 

As you go back to stand with Jackie you hear the others start to shyly say nice things to one another. You glance to see Jackie proud of herself for this idea. She heads over to Shauna and you stand by yourself. Observing the others, even though the argument got you here you were glad for the outcome. 

Your eyes flicker over to Natalie who’s complimenting Lottie. “Lottie, you never talk shit unless someone really deserves it. Also, I really like your pilgrim hat.” She then starts to giggle before staring off in the sky. “Um. Okay?” Lottie is definitely not wearing a hat. You grab your best friend's arm. 

“You want to stay the night tonight?” You ask her and she looks over at you confused at first but then lights up excitedly. “Yes, sleep over!! [Name] where’d you get that tattoo?” She suddenly grabs your wrist and you shake your head. You knew tonight was going to be long. Definitely not letting loose like you had hoped. 

You sit Natalie by the fire and drop beside her, letting her lean her body on you as she’s on a trip. Not seeing the pair of eyes on the both of you. The pair of eyes that have a ping of jealousy within them. 

You close your eyes, leaning your head on Natalie’s just resting there. 

You don’t know how much time has passed but you know you somehow fell asleep and Natalie woke you up by muttering “Misty.” You grumble, stretching out your body. “Misty? What?” You ask, severely confused. 

“I swear I saw her, over there?” She points to an edge of darkness of the woods. You squint your eyes but see absolutely nothing. “Just part of your trip.” You rub her back. “Let’s go, we gotta find someone to give us a ride because I’m sure Jeff did not wait for me.” You stand up, shooting a hand out to her. She takes it, lifting herself up. 

2021

A knock on your door sounds and you groan. Who the fuck could it be? You peer through the peephole, and your heart sinks at who’s there. “Shit.” You mumble before swinging the door open. 

“Shauna?” You furrow your brows and she smiles awkwardly. “Hey, I tried texting you but it went straight to voicemail.” She rubs the back of her neck. The two of you lived in the same vicinity so it’s not a rare sight. Of course the two of you still talk occasionally.

“What’s up? Something going on with Callie?” You move so she can come in but instead she just stands in front of you. 

“Come to dinner with me?” She tilts her head and you check the watch on your wrist. The time read “10:15.” 

“You’re lucky it’s my day off tomorrow.” You grab your jacket from the hook along with your keys. Moving out of the house to shut the door right behind you. 

“Who are we meeting?” You cross your arms as she drinks a cup of coffee. The door chimes, cutting off your question and the two of you look up to see Taissa. She slides in the booth across from the both of you. “Are you kidding me?” You tense up, getting irritated. “[Name]-”

“No, Shauna, I can't believe you.” You push at her to move but she doesn’t budge. “Get up or I’ll climb over, I can’t believe you didn’t tell me we were meeting with her.” You spoke with venom mixed in your voice.

“[Name], please.” Shauna pleads with you, as you’re about to get up and climb over the booth. You glare down at her then peep over to Taissa who has an anxious expression. “Just twenty minutes.” She whispers. 

You let out a huff of air. “Twenty and after that I better not see her again.” You plop back down in the seat. Taissa doesn’t even say anything to you, looking right at Shauna. 

“A reporter approached us today.” Shauna slides Jessica’s business card across the table. “She said she was with the local paper, but I googled her, and she wasn’t credited in any bylines. Anywhere.” Shauna explains the situation. On your way over here you had already told her your experience at your job. 

“These people come out of the woodwork every few years, on some anniversary or another. You know that. There’s no reason to think this is any different.” Taissa tries to reassure the both of you and your eyes stare at her face. Angrily taking in her features. “I can think of a few. I thought we agreed. Say no more than we have to, stay out of the public eye.” 

“Shauna…” 

“I saw you on fucking television, Tai. If someone’s digging… we’re all fucked. Take care of it.” She orders and Taissa looks over to you who boredly nods. “Take care of it.” You repeat. 

“Have either of you talked to Nat?” Shauna suddenly asks and you frown. “She’s in rehab.” Taissa answers. “Again.” You add in. “And there’s still no sign of the others?” 

“No. Not for months on my end.” Taissa’s eyes then flicker over to you who shrug. “Haven’t heard from anyone except for Misty who creepily knew about my mother passing.” You say. 

“Then we’re fine. As long as nobody does anything crazy, we have nothing to worry about.” Shauna takes both of your hands. You bite at your bottom lip. Nervous about this sudden Jessica Cruz. 

After the three of you talk, you only add in to be an asshole towards Taissa. You guys exit the building.

“Oh, I gotta use the bathroom real quick. I’ll be back. Here’s the keys.” She hands the keys over to you and you tiredly take them. The two of you watch as she walks back into the Diner. 

“You know I’m sorry [Name]-” you shake your head before she can continue, putting a hand up to stop her. “I don’t want to hear it, Taissa.’ You tell her, walking over to Shauna’s van. “It was a mistake, I promise. I would never intentionally-”

“Taissa, please. Stop it.” You sternly say, putting your foot down. “I don’t want to hear it. I really, really don’t.”

“I’m over the situation but I cannot and will not find it in my heart to forgive you right now. Who knows. It might change but at this moment. In this age of life I want you to fuck off so hard.” You were smiling, hating this feeling of being confronted. “I just- I miss you, [Name].” She admits and you lick your lips trying not to laugh. 

“It will pass.” You open the passenger door of the van and climb in. Slightly slamming it shut causing the woman to jump. She stood there for a moment before her shoulders dropped, feeling defeated and heading back to her own vehicle. 

1996

“Are you sure everything is going to be okay while I’m gone mom?” You question as you are walking both your bags to the front door. You hear your mom snort in disbelief. “Of course everything will be okay. I’m the adult here.” She says defensively and since you’re facing away you roll your eyes.

“That’s not what I meant.” You murmur.

“I just help out with dinner and I know you don’t like cooking.” You partially lied. You’ve been helping with your younger siblings for years ever since your father passed away when Tilly was only six months old.

“We’ll be fine, [Name].” She comes over and plays with the necklace you wore around your neck. The charm given by your father a year before he passed. 

A dragonfly, he always called you his little dragon bug. It was a weird nickname but when you were little the two of you went fishing and that’s what you called every big bug. Freaking out when a dragonfly landed on your shoulder. 

“Sissy!! Don’t leave yet!” A little voice screams as she comes down the stairs and you move away from your mom. “Tilly Billy! I wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye!” You crouch down to her level and she jumps at you with a tight embrace. “I’m going to miss you so much!” She cries out making you jut out your bottom lip. 

“Awe, Tilly I’ll be back in 4 days. Don’t you even worry.” You ruffle her hair and she pouts. 

“That’s still so long.” She pulls away and you see tears actually falling down her little face. “It will go by so fast, I promise.” You kiss her cheek and then you hear more little steps coming your way and you look over to your little brother who was rubbing his eyes tiredly. “Will you get me a souvenir?” He asks and you let out a laugh. 

“Yeah, what do you want Theo?” You pull him into a hug after standing back up. 

“A magnet.” He grumbles tiredly since he had just gotten up. “Alright, I’ll get you, your magnet.” You kiss the top of his head, then hear a car honk outside. 

“That’s my ride, I’ll see you guys in a couple of days!” You give Tilly one last tight embrace and then kiss your mom’s cheek goodbye. “Be safe, [Name].” She says and you give a tight lipped smile before leaving, shutting the big wooden door behind you. 

Stepping onto the plane was a weird feeling, Lottie’s parents are definitely rich. “Hey, you’re here.” Natalie pokes her head up from her seat and you hurry over to her. “Heyy, how are you feeling? You left like super early.” You plop down on the seat next to her. “I forgot I had to get my bags for the flight, did you see the note? And I’m definitely hungover.” She snickers, and you follow suit. 

“Yeah I saw it, you’re so romantic.” You do little air kisses. 

“Always for you.” She does it back. 

You unzip your backpack and take out a walkman to show to her. “If you want to listen to anything during this flight.” You grin. “Beautiful.” She claps her hands and you nod your head. 

And as everyone gets on the plane and you all sit quietly, the air pressure makes it hard for you to hear one another to begin with. Well for you it makes it extremely harder for you. Every now and then you’ll glance around at the other teammates. It was boring but the nerves and excitement of the game somehow made the time pass by faster. 

You didn’t even understand what was said by the captain every time he spoke. Of course it was probably something important because the cabin gets darker and a terrifying roar erupts from the plane. The turbulence shakes the plane so aggressively that it wakes Natalie. Her hand finding yours. 

You can slightly hear Laura Lee muttering as the oxygen masks drop down. “Shit, what the fuck is happening?” You think out loud, getting the mask on. Then helping Natalie get hers on. “Open the shade.” You mutter. “Wh-what?” Natalie panics. 

“Open- open the shade.” You reach over and shove it open. Seeing silhouettes of the mountains extremely closer than they should be. Then getting closer. And closer until the plane finally makes impact. 

[postsforposting]

seriously mean

you can see what you like in fiction, blah blah blah, projecting onto characters is fun, etc

though it really seems like i watched a completely different movie from everyone else's deadpool and wolverine. they hate each other??? logan's a short fuse who doesn't control himself???

logan doesn't attack wade or the bartender despite the insults and the manhandling. no one's afraid of him, everyone stayed put instead of running.

logan outright says "talk about something else". not "shut the fuck up", not "you are so fucking annoying". a directive to continue yapping. just not about the suit. that's literally "keep going". he listened for however long they were walking and in the car, and he was actually LISTENING. he wasn't tuning it out. he wouldn't have known about vanessa and the avengers and the previous xmen adventures if he didn't care about what wade was saying.

all the "insults" that are actual insults only happen when wade's killed someone--after johnny dies, after nicepool dies. logan calls him an asshole after the first cassandra meeting, but in the context of his yapping having just killed johnny and nearly themselves too.

but he immediately asks for his input and then lets him yap again in the diner and all the way to the car fight. he doesn't use insults at all until after wade gets johnny killed, even though wade starts out insulting him in the bar and immediately in the void with "ape". though was he insulting logan or was it a compliment to his inhuman half, designed like an insult? logan's the one who gets down on all fours like an animal in the first fight scene, after wade's said "this is gonna be good". from how easily logan takes down sabretooth, we know that fight was pure fooling around.

logan's not mad when he finds out his universe can't be fixed, because he'll happily trade his past for wade's future--twice, going in the reactor and again when he doesn't demand to return to his own universe. a world without wade isn't one he wants. he makes to walk away because he needs to know if wade will call his name, just as logan called wade's in the reactor. and again, wade's an idiot and annoying in the reactor because he's about to kill someone again--himself.

at the end he says the avengers would be lucky to have wade. that's sincere. he was going to walk off, but chose to turn around and stay with wade. not because he had nowhere else to go, but because he likes the guy he just complimented. when meeting al, wade's throwing gross nonsense and logan is FOND and laughing along. that isn't disgust or frustration.

this is without getting into the motif that "taking the piss", aka insults aka verbal assaults, is "pulling your leg"--a joke. it's not meant seriously. it's flirting, foreplay, feeling each other out: physical violence is sex; verbal violence is first base.

so a mean joke isn't seriously like that but it very much definitely IS...."""like that""", in all seriousness. if you're insulting someone, you're "giving them an excuse", a come on to fucking go. an invite to...come....at? on?.....you. wade and logan both see right through the fourth wall, so this isn't only metatextual but also literally textual. they know what they're playing at.

a joke can also be an excuse to say one thing and mean another, like nicepool claiming to be nice while actually being rude. so if you act like you're mean.....you're saving the good stuff for special occasions. for someone who wants to have a go at you. it's why wade gets all breathy flustered in the car as they're....not playing nicely with each other. you gotta be....seriously mean.... if you wanna get under someone's skin....to live rent free with them. like family does. it's a callback to dp1: if you're paying for it, then you're only renting love, it's not a real happily ever after.

there's also a motif going on with costumes and masks making you "a different person", hence why wade and logan have radically different personalities in and out of their suits/masks. it's why wade takes off his mask to say nice things that he sincerely means.

[flemingsfreckles]

Mic’d Up

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Synopsis: Vanessa fails to tell Jessie she’s mic’d up leading to some accidental confessions being heard.

Warnings: none :)

WC: 1.7k

A/N: partially inspired by @waltzinglikewearein1698 suggestions to write something along these lines. I’ve written and rewritten this about 5 times and I still don’t love it but oh well 🤷‍♀️

“Hey Jessie, can you come to the media room when you’re all wrapped up?”

She looks over as she removes her training shirt and tosses it into the dirty bin. “Yeah just give me a second, I’ll finish changing and come right up.”

You give her a nod and walk away from the team locker room and head up the stairs and around the corner to the main media and conference room. Vanessa was already in the room, the two of you had been looking at footage for the past hour with various other players, Jessie was the last person you had to meet with.

It doesn’t take long until the door opens and Jessie walks in with a quick smile before she sits down at the table across from you.

“Alright, so I just wanted to run through the conversations you and Vanessa had today to see what you’re comfortable being left in the video and what you want cut.”

Jessie’s face is blank for a second before it twists to be a look of confusion. “What?”

“Vanessa? When you talked with her today since she was mic’d? I just want to make sure there’s nothing-” you’re interrupted by Jessie.

“She was mic’d?! You were mic’d?!” Jessie turns to look at Vanessa.

“You didn’t tell her?” You turn to ask Vanessa. You had told her to tell her teammates that she was mic’d just for their own peace of mind and to avoid any surprises like this one.

“I forgot I guess, I figured I already had.” “No she didn’t.”

Vanessa and Jessie both talk over each other. Vanessa just shrugs it off while Jessie rolls her eyes in annoyance.

“Oh.” You look between the two players, unsure of what to do in this situation.

You watch as Jessie’s face bunches in concentration. Her eyes scanning left to right as if she was reading. You imagine she’s running through everytime she spoke with Vanessa today. Then suddenly her eyes widen and she’s looking at you. “You can’t use any of it.”

Jessie had never been a fan of the media, she was usually quick to offer to cut out anything with her in it. She’d suggest using other players, giving them a chance in the spotlight, so her behavior seemed to be standard. “Well, you never know, some of it might be good. Let’s just watch it and see what’ll work, if there’s actually nothing worth putting in we won’t.” You go to hit play on the iPad to start running through footage.

“No, let’s just delete it now.” Jessie lunges toward the iPad in your hands. You quickly slide it from her reach before giving her a questioning look as she’s laying half on the table. She clears her throat and sits back down.

“Why are you so nervous all of a sudden?” Vanessa pipes up from next to Jessie. You wanted to ask the same question but felt it would be inappropriate for you to question her.

“I’m not.” she lies, it was obvious she was, her eyes darting between you, the iPad, and Vanessa. She was taping her foot on the ground and pinching her bottom lip between her fingers. “There’s just nothing good that we talked about.”

“I find it hard to believe that you just had boring regular conversations with this one.” You point over to Vanessa, you had been reviewing all her conversations today and had no idea where some of her thoughts came from. You connect the iPad to the TV and begin playing the footage. You scroll through where Vanessa is talking to other players until Jessie is on the screen.

The first conversation is quick and boring, talking about their boots, Vanessa asking for suggestions on a new pair. Jessie just talked about her own boots and then suggested she go talk with the equipment team to try out something new.

“We could use some of that if we need, but let’s see if there’s anything better.” You say before starting to fast forward to find the next clip. You find where Vanessa and Jessie are now in weight training. You hear Vanessa take a deep breath.

You look over to Jessie, she’s sunken down into her chair, her hands on her face, not even watching the TV monitor. Vanessa now looks equally terrified as if she’s suddenly remembered the suspiciously secret conversation that she and Jessie seemed to have had.

Watching the video Vanessa pokes Jessie’s shoulder. “You’re staring again.” Vanessa says, sitting down beside Jessie who’s on the floor, set up to complete hip thrusts. The bar across her lap, she’s looking off to the side of the screen where you can’t see.

“I’m not.” She immediately diverts her eyes to the bar in front of her, her hands coming up to grip it.

“Just ask her out dude.” You watch as Vanessa playfully slaps Jessie’s shoulder.

“I can’t.” Jessie’s voice is soft, as if she knew Vanessa was mic’d subconsciously but more likely to avoid her teammates from overhearing the conversation.

“Why not?” Vanessa crosses her arms and pretends to pout.

“She’s on the staff, I can’t, you know that! Plus what would she see in me.” Jessie’s eyes stay on the bar, she has yet to look back at Vanessa since she sat down behind her.

“Okay first of all, she’s not a coach, she doesn’t have any control over your playing time or anything, she’s on the media team, I’m pretty sure that’s allowed. Second of all, you’re a professional athlete, the captain of a national team, you’re like the kindest person I know, and you’re hot too, you won’t admit it but you are. You’re a catch. Anyone would be lucky to even be asked out by you.”

Out of the corner of your eye you see Jessie drop her head to the table.

Hearing the words media team peaks your attention. Jessie had a crush on someone, one of your coworkers, now you wanted to know who. It could be Megan you think, or Sarah maybe.

“Oh a phone call, I’m gonna,” Vanessa points to the door and scurries out. You hadn’t heard her phone ring but maybe it was on silent.

Jessie’s voice coming from the TV turns your attention back to it. “I’m not having this conversation with you.” And you watch as she begins to lift the bar, making the weight move like it’s nothing.

Vanessa looks down at Jessie. “I could call her over for you, then you can ask her.” That’s when Vanessa begins pretending as if she’s shouting across the gym hands clasped around her mouth, but instead she’s just whispering.

She whispers your name. And then again, as if she’s calling you over.

Your eyebrows shoot up.

“Stop!” Jessie actually shouts at Vanessa, getting the attention of a few of her teammates in the background.

“Damn, she didn’t hear me, guess you’ll have to ask her out yourself, grow a pair Fleming, stop being so afraid of rejection.” Vanessa stands up and walks away from Jessie. The video cuts and jumps to Vanessa with Jordyn.

You pause the iPad and just stare at the TV. How were you supposed to react to this? Professionally, pretend you didn’t connect the dots? Do you ask her about it? It was obvious what you both just watched.

“Um, so, yeah we can just cut that.” You pick up your pen a write a note to yourself, as if you’d possibly forget what you just saw and would need a reminder later.

“I’m sorry.” Jessie finally speaks.

“It’s fine Jessie.”

“No, what I said, it’s inappropriate.”

“It’s not.”

You look down, tracing over the words you’ve already written diverting your attention from Jessie not wanting her to see your face as you spoke to her. “And uh, to clarify your question, relationships or dating or whatever between staff that doesn’t have an impact on a players playing time and where there’s no power dynamic, those are allowed.”

There’s a long silence before you hear Jessie chair creek, she’s now leaning back, one hand running through her hair the other pulling at the neckline of her shirt.

“I didn’t know that.” She finally says.

“Yeah.”

“Yep.” Jessie gives you a tightlipped smile.

“I’ll obviously delete that, make sure no one sees it. I’m really sorry, Vanessa was supposed to tell everyone she talked to.” You’ve decided you’re now taking the more professional route, just ensure her it’ll be deleted, no one will know.

“It’s okay, not your fault.”

“If it eases any of your hesitations, I can pretty much guarantee you, you won’t get shot down. I’m pretty close with her.” You give her a wink and finally see a real smile break on Jesse's face.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. But like Vanessa said, you’ll have to grow a pair and ask her.” You stand up collecting the iPad and the attached cord before standing up and stacking your notebook on top of everything else.

“Wait!” You’re halfway out the door when Jessie’s voice pipes up. You turn back and she’s standing now.

“Coffee.” Is all she says before she blinks a few times and puts her hands flat on the table, looking at them for a second before looking back to you. “Would you like to get coffee with me sometime, as a date?”

“I’d love to.” You smile at her and watch as she breathes a sigh of relief.

“Okay, I’ll text you details. Have a goodnight.” She waves to you

“I'll be looking forward to it, goodnight Jessie.” You smile as you turn the corner. You definitely had to delete that footage and make sure it didn’t get released publicly, but that didn’t mean you wouldn’t watch it again a few times just to see Jessie blush at the mention of your name.

[taevescence]

can I request: Jungkook and YN laying in bed cockwarming while watching a movie and they fall asleep. Jungkook wakes up in the middle of the night and is still inside YN so he wakes her up by sucking her tits and asks her if it's ok to fuck because he is hard

thanksssss💕

5:30 A.M.

a/n: Thank you for the request! It's my first time making smut as such, so I hope it's good enough for your taste ^^. warnings: Cockwarming, Mazophilia, reader is older than Jungkook by two years, kind of dom!reader and sub!Jungkook but very mild, breeding kink, hair pulling. wc: 1.8k

"Don't you find it strange that Captain America and Iron man get along so badly? I mean, they both seek the same end, why fight each other when they should be using that strength against villains?" muttered Jungkook, trying to swallow the vulgar amount of popcorn he threw into his mouth.

"They both have the same goal, but at the same time different values, and those same values are what make their relationship so strained" you nodded, taking a sip of your drink, "You know what thing does strike me as odd?".

"What?" your boyfriend's gaze was still fixed on the TV, too focused on watching Iron man and Captain America fight.

"That you asked to be inside me while we watch Captain America: civil war," you laughed softly, turning to look at your boyfriend "Sounds like too weird of a fetish. Tell me the truth, do you have an Iron man fetish or something?".

Jungkook laughed, kissing your cheek and caressing your abdomen with his fingertips. You felt your insides stir inside you. 

 "Of course not, it's just that I really love being inside you" he murmured, kissing you shortly, "I feel so much closer to you, like we're really one person, you know what I mean?".

You nodded laughing, stroking his jaw, "Sure I do, but it's still weird that you're asking me while we're watching a Marvel movie."

"I'll pick something better next time" he chuckled, snuggling under you. He loved having you in his lap and being able to hug you from behind. "Now let's concentrate on watching Robert Downey Junior fight Chris Evans."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say" you smiled, leaning against his shoulder and watching one of your boyfriend's favorite movies.

You fell asleep shortly after watching the post-credits scene, you had a long day's work, so it was expected that you fell asleep so early. Before going to sleep you asked Jungkook to switch positions and he was quick to agree. He was aware that it was quite uncomfortable for you to sleep sitting up, and since he still didn't want to leave you, you decided to lie down hugging each other, him with his head on your chest and his hands around your waist, you, with one of your hands on his lower back and the other in his hair.

Even though you fell asleep much earlier than Jungkook had planned, he quite enjoyed watching the rest of the movies alone, mostly because it was enough for him that you were lying next to him.

He hadn't planned on disturbing your rest, indeed, he hated to do so because he knew how much the work exhausted you, but there were things he simply couldn't control, like his cock. 

If we're honest, it hadn't been his fault as such, but somehow watching Wade and Vanessa's scenes while he was still inside you awakened something inside him. And on the outside, too. 

As soon as he felt little spasms in his cock, he turned off the TV and settled back against your chest, closing his eyes and trying to think about anything other than fucking you. It worked a little at first, but then he felt the soft scent of your perfume, your breath against his scalp, the softness of your breasts against his cheek. He actually tried to resist.

He took a breath of air, remembering an old conversation the two of you had at the beginning of your relationship. You had talked about whether you were comfortable with certain things in the sexual realm, among them, having something with one of you asleep. You confessed that you didn't mind as long as you weren't fighting and he told you that he trusted you enough to know that you would take good care of him even if he was sleeping. 

You weren't fighting, so he wasn't passing you around, you said yourself that you didn't care. 

That was Jungkook repeated himself as he slipped his hand under your shirt, which was actually his, and started massaging your breasts. At first it was just small squeezes, using his whole hand to cover your breast. He licked his lips, looking at your face. You were still asleep.

The squeezes now shifted to your nipples. He rolled, pulled and pinched them, gradually increasing the force on them. He was surprised to notice that you were still sound asleep in spite of that.

He thought that was good, so this time he lifted your shirt until it was under your chin. He swallowed saliva at the sight of your breasts. He seriously loved them, they were so round, nice and big. He brought his mouth up to the point where both breasts met and began to leave little kisses on the spot. His hands were now busy caressing your hips, and his hips were grinding against yours with almost imperceptible movements. 

You were still asleep.

When he realized that you wouldn't wake up no matter what he did, he began to lick the skin around your nipples. At first it was just small rubs, but they soon turned into sloppy kisses, sucking your nipples hard as his onslaught became stronger than at first.

It was only then that you opened your eyes.

You were still a little groggy from the nap you had taken, so it took you a while to realize what was happening. You came all the way back after Jungkook hit your G-spot a little too hard.

You moaned much louder than usual, opening your eyes wide.

"Jungkook?" you gasped, clinging to his hair as you felt his cock touch your G-spot again. 

"Noona" he whispered, his voice cracking. Now that you were aroused he could afford to lunge harder. "You feel so good, you're so beautiful, so tight."

You weren't understanding the situation very well, but you weren't going to complain either. Jungkook definitely knew how to make a woman feel good.

"I thought I'd have to hold back, I didn't want to wake you up," he murmured, tightening his grip on your hips as his lunges got faster and messier, "I'm glad you woke up."

"Were you holding back?" you chuckled, groaning at the end of the sentence.

Jungkook was big, much bigger than any of your exes were, and even though you'd been together for quite a while now, you couldn't get used to his size and how well he filled you up. That, coupled with how resilient and flexible he was, made him a perfect lover. 

Even knowing that, you were still amazed by the fact that Jungkook held back most of the time just so he wouldn't hurt or tease you. It seemed so cute to you.

"Of course I do," he nodded awkwardly, closing his eyes tightly as he licked his bottom lip. He had to let go of your hips and grab hold of the back of your bed in order to continue. It felt even better now that you were awake. He loved hearing your voice. "You looked so tired, but I was so needy" he grunted as he felt you tighten around him, squeezing the backrest until his knuckles turned white, "I thought maybe, if I did it slowly you wouldn't wake up."

You hugged Jungkook's hips with your legs, while your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him close until he was close enough to kiss his lips. 

You tried to make the kiss slow and deep, but Jungkook seemed so desperate. You moaned as you felt him wrap one of his arms around your waist and lift you off the bed until you felt your chest crush against his. It didn't take him long to slip his tongue into your mouth.

You both broke the kiss when you ran out of air. Jungkook wasted no time, and quickly brought his lips down to your breasts, returning his focus to your nipples and how good it felt the way you squeezed each time he sucked on them hard.

You felt close, and it really was hard not to be when Jungkook was fucking and eating your breasts like it was the last time. You pulled his hair tightly, pulling his neck closer to your mouth, nibbling and sucking every space on his skin that looked too empty.

You smiled as you heard your name leave his lips between gasps.

"Noona" he whispered, letting his head fall on your shoulder, "I need...can I...can I…?". 

"You can cum inside" you kissed his head, feeling his cock stir inside you. Each time it felt even bigger, "It's okay, don't worry."

Jungkook sighed in relief, kissing and licking the skin on your shoulder, letting his hips bump against yours.

The sound of his skin against yours was getting louder and messier, as were the moans from both of you. 

With his mind too clouded to think clearly, but still quite aware of the situation, Jungkook lowered his hand all the way down, letting his index and ring fingers rub your clit, following the same messy, rapid rhythm his onslaught had.

You clenched your jaw, keeping a loud moan from leaving your lips. Your back curved the moment his fingers touched your sensitive spot.

Suddenly everything he did felt too much for you.

"I don't think I can take much more," he said between grunts, looking at you with dark, clouded eyes.

Seeing your boyfriend's reddened, swollen, glistening lips, his big eyes shining with desire and his messy hair covering his sweaty forehead was enough of a turn-on for you to squeeze his cock even tighter.

He moaned again, but unlike you, he didn't hold it back.

"It's okay, Jungkookie," You tangled your fingers in his hair, pulling on it gently, "could you cum for me?" you whispered over his lips, licking the piercing that rested in the corner of it with the tip of your tongue.

Jungkook nodded quickly, letting your pussy milk his cock, and that was enough to cause the knot you felt in your belly to untie. Jungkook didn't stop moving until the last drop of his cum was inside you.

You both took a second before coming down from your euphoria. Jungkook fixed your shirt carefully, leaving a soft kiss on your neck as he finished. 

You smiled barely, caressing his cheek with your knuckles, "Aren't you going to get out of my pussy?" you asked teasingly.

Jungkook smiled back, but his smile was much bigger than yours, "No, you feel great."

You laughed helplessly, lowering your hands to his waist so you could pinch it gently. 

"Fine, but this time don't do anything, it's..." you looked at the clock on your bedside table, raising your eyebrows as you saw the time, "You seriously woke me up at five thirty in the morning so we could fuck??"

"We better just close our eyes and rest, we'll talk about this tomorrow" he kissed you shortly, before resting his head on your breasts again and settling back to sleep.

You just rolled your eyes in amusement, hugging Jungkook and letting tiredness take power over you again.

Materlist.