#personally I’m of the opinion that certain crimes do deserve the death punishment

[sing-me-under]

I have a lot of posts about how I liked the finale and it was not OOC, but that’s on a stance of consistency, not storytelling and meta narrative. The finale is consistent with their characters (except Punz but that’s a whole other rant). I think the ending was far from well written (because the dialogue was fucking improv on a time limit). It’s definitely not handled well on the meta, but I think it Makes Sense. I don’t defend the finale because I think it was great. I defend it because I see a lot of poorly interpreted takes or just straight up neg.

I think I’ve accidentally come off as a c!Dream apologist or a c!Tommy anti at first glance even though I’m quite literally the opposite of both if anyone actually reads my long form rants (because they are rants under the thin veil of analyses; I am just throwing words at a keyboard without any central idea). If given a gun, I wouldn’t hesitate to shoot c!Dream between the eyes, and I’m literally a cc!TommyInnit main. He is literally the only steamer/youtuber I watch regularly (anymore) despite being the kind of person who prefers to flitter through content topics rather than dedicate to a specific channel or streamer.

Criticism where criticism is due, and I love reading crit and neg and I agree with so much of it, but I’m not the kind of person to reiterate what other people are already saying. You can criticize the execution of the finale all you want and I Agree With You. It’s terribly executed! But I’m going to ignore the terrible execution and the unintentional framing because it’s been beat to death by now, so let me shove what I liked about it down everyone’s throat.

I don’t intake the DSMP from the perspective of someone expecting a professionally written story. I’m watching it knowing that this is an improv told by amateur storytellers, one of whom is literally a comedian and the other who has the self awareness of a very small dog.

I don’t expect a perfect execution, but I know it’s well meaning. I think people are so desperate to hate sometimes that they forget that the whole existence of the DSMP is out of a place of love and passion for the story they’re telling. It wouldn’t have gone on this long if it weren’t for a genuine love for what they do, and we have seen first hand how other projects die on so so many occasions.

I think the DSMP (especially Tommy and Dream’s finale) deserves to at least receive some praise for what the content creators intended rather just neg upon neg, a lot of which are by people who didn’t even watch the finale. There’s a whole section of the community who loved the ending when it was first streamed, but I didn’t see anyone else actually talking about why it was good other than “Staged Duo My Beloved” and “Tommy is a good person!” like YOURE ALSO MISSING THE POINT. THIS IS THE SAME BULLSHIT STEVEN UNIVERSE FANS PULLED.

Tommy was a flawed individual who was facing his abuser and his trauma right as he was at death’s door but Tommy Didn’t Forgive Dream For The Shit He Did. You don’t fucking forgive abusive power hungry narcissists for literally killing and torturing you. But y’all are so eager to go straight to Murder just because it’s an actual option, but in the DSMP, murder is still framed as a Very Bad Thing to do rather than just some unfavorable activity that people take part in. It’s just that there’s no consequence for commuting the Very Bad Thing other than the degradation of your morals (WHICH AGAIN EVERYONE IS MORALLY GREY AND I COULD GO ON A WHOLE RANT ABOUT TOMMY AND THE THEMATIC IMPORTANCE OF HIM NOT KILLING PEOPLE)

But the prison literally failed! So what do you do if both prison AND murder are off the table?? You move on. That’s what you fucking do. You pick the perpetrator up by the scruff of his neck, strip him of everything that gives him any power, give him a licensed therapist or seven, then put him behind a white picket fence in fucking Wyoming literally miles away from the nearest person, and you at least try to live your life.

Tommy literally couldn’t move on because he was haunted by the very Concept of Dream. Even if he picked up his bags and moved to the other side of the universe, he’d be haunted by the fear that Dream would find him somehow because that’s how paranoia works. Instead, Tommy chose to understand the cause of his Fear so that he could get some control over it, so that he could close his eyes for once and get some fucking sleep. Although this entire time he knew it was a futile effort because they’d be dying anyway, but for once in his goddamn life, he deserved to at least feel some relief from the heavy burden that was his self (although this was mostly everyone) perceived Crime Of Existing.

GIVE THE GUY A FUCKING BREAK.

ITS NOT FUCKING VICTIM BLAMING AND NO ONE IS FORGIVING DREAM EXCEPT THE BATSHIT CRAZY DREAM APOLOGISTS. NOT EVEN CC DREAM IS FORGIVING CDREAM BECAUSE CDREAM IS A PIECE OF SHIT THAT SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED ANY AUTHORITY OR NEAR CHILDREN.

[ibijau]

Futures Past pt7 / On AO3

Lan Xichen's plans for the day get derailed, but not as much as he feared

After a long and silent eternity, the people of Yunping Huang finally started to wake up, as did their Lan guests. Lan Xichen and Nie Huaisang, both relieved to have company at last, joined everyone else for breakfast. The younger boy made a point of sitting as far away as possible, clearly still upset about that Su She incident. Even like this, Nie Huaisang threw a sharp look toward Lan Xichen when Lan Qiren dropped by to announce that they would all be staying until that afternoon, since the three sect leaders present had things left to discuss.

Lan Xichen tried his best to look surprised at the news, and discreetly nodded at Nie Huaisang to confirm he would still be helping.

By the time Lan Xichen felt it safe to head out without risking being seen by his uncle, Nie Huaisang was already at the door of the sect, nervously biting his nails again and tapping his foot on the ground as if waiting to be given a chance to bolt out. He must really have wanted those spring books, Lan Xichen thought.

It wasn’t so hard, convincing the Huang disciple guarding the entrance that Nie Huaisang was actually allowed to go out if it was in Lan Xichen’s company. It helped that Lan Xichen, in spite of his age, already had a small reputation going for him, and that he’d performed so well against those fierce corpses the previous day that the guard was a little in awe. The two boys then headed out together, having agreed to stick together until they were out of view, and to meet again at a certain hour when they had both taken care of their respective errands. They would surely be scolded when they came back, but less than if they returned separately.

Nie Huaisang was about to run off on his own when they heard someone calling their names behind them. They turned as one, terrified to have been already discovered, only to find Jiang Cheng running toward them, a frown on his face.

“Where are you two going?” Jiang Cheng asked when he caught up with them, throwing them a suspicious look.

“Nowhere,” Lan Xichen said.

“And we’re not going together,” Nie Huaisang added. “We just happen to be heading out at the same time.”

Jiang Cheng’s expression only turned more suspicious. If that Huang disciple had been easy to fool, it seemed Jiang Cheng remembered that Lan Qiren’s punishment of Nie Huaisang had made no mention of exceptions.

“Can I come with you?”

Lan Xichen gave the younger boy a puzzled smile, and turned to look at Nie Huaisang, awaiting his answer. He hadn’t noticed that the two boys had talked at all the previous day, but he wasn’t surprised either that they’d have some affinity. 

They weren’t supposed to have met yet, but Lan Xichen remembered that they would become somewhat close the following year, especially after that Wei Wuxian boy would be sent home. He didn’t think the friendship between Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng had gone anywhere after they’d left the Cloud Recesses, but it would still be good for them to…

“No, I meant with you, Lan gongzi,” Jiang Cheng corrected with some embarrassment, having followed his gaze. “I had a few questions I’d like to ask you, about yesterday. Lan gongzi really was very impressive,” he explained with a small bow. “I hoped he might spare some time to teach me?”

The request startled Lan Xichen, as did the rather mild and calm tone in which it was made. Come to think of it, in that terrible future he’d very rarely interacted with Jiang Cheng without Wei Wuxian being present as well, who always unwittingly drew out the worst sides of his shidi’s personality. And then, after Wei Wuxian’s death… well, Jiang Cheng just hadn’t been a pleasant man with anyone.

He too would grow into a lonely man, Lan Xichen recalled, and the idea upset him. How much could have been changed, if he hadn’t relied so much on Meng Yao’s friendship, if Jiang Cheng had had someone on his side other than Wei Wuxian?

“I have an errand to run,” he explained, only to see Jiang Cheng’s face tighten at the apparent rejection. How odd, that he’d never noticed before that Jiang Cheng was a little sensitive, but he recalled an argument in that temple where Meng Yao would die, and… well. Sensitive was a mild thing to call it. “It’s fine if you come as well,” Lan Xichen heard himself say.

“Really?” Jiang Cheng asked, sounding almost suspicious.

It would be a dreadful idea to think of dragging the son of a sect leader into the sort of places where Meng Yao could be expected to be found. But Jiang Cheng looked too pitiful to be left behind, and Lan Xichen decided even if this visit to Yunping City turned out to be a failure, he could always try to come again later. He’d have to lie about the reason why, but since it was for a good cause, he figured it wasn’t too big of a crime. In fact, maybe it was for the best if he gave up for the day. He hardly had a plan on how to deal with Meng Yao, anyway.

“I was also impressed by how well Jiang gongzi did yesterday,” Lan Xichen said with a smile. “For being so young, you are very competent already. I was wondering why Jiang zongzhu had brought his young son to a Night Hunt that could have been dangerous, but after seeing you in action I understand better.”

“Yes, Jiang gongzi was really impressive,” Nie Huaisang exclaimed, as if he knew enough about martial arts to give his opinion. “Yunmeng Jiang trains for flexibility and speed, right? It really showed! And you have very good posture and a strong grip on your sword. I think even my brother would have found nothing to say against how you fought!”

Lan Xichen threw Nie Huaisang a sharp glance, surprised to hear him make such an accurate assessment of Jiang Cheng’s skill. Apparently lacking any talent himself didn’t stop him from understanding the strength of others.

Jiang Cheng’s cheeks turned a little pink at the double praise.

“You’re both too generous,” he said in a tone of voice that made it obvious he thought he deserved the compliments. Then, quite suddenly, his face turned sour. “To be honest, I’m only here because Wei Wuxian was supposed to come as well and we work well as a team. But he got punished and had to stay behind. If you’d seen him, then…”

“That Wei person isn’t here though, so who cares about his skill!” Nie Huaisang cheerfully cut him. “If he got punished, he can’t be that good. Ah, but I really should get going now… Jiang gongzi, please entertain Lan gongzi for me, and I’ll see you both later when it’s time to leave!”

With this, Nie Huaisang darted away, the way he’d been wanting to do since Lan Xichen first saw him that morning. For someone so reluctant to do any physical exercise Nie Huaisang could run fast, and in the blink of an eye he had just disappeared in the sparse early morning crowd.

“What a weirdo,” Jiang Cheng remarked.

“He’s a very unique person,” Lan Xichen agreed. “I just hope he won’t get himself into too much trouble. Ah, well… shall we go?”

“Sure. What’s your errand? I’ve been here a few times before, maybe I can guide you around.”

For a brief moment, Lan Xichen was very tempted… but no. He would find another occasion to deal with Meng Yao. This was important too, he felt.

He'd been focused on saving Nie Mingjue, on protecting his sect's library, on averting Meng Yao's fate, because those had been the thing weighting down the man he would have become, but he didn't have to stop at that. There were many more tragedies in the world, small and big, and maybe Lan Xichen could change those too. 

Maybe Jiang Cheng didn't need to grow with no friend but Wei Wuxian. 

“Forget about my errand, it’s something that can wait. Instead, would Jiang gongzi show me around while we chat? I’m sure you know some interesting places.”

The praise, however mild, had an instant effect on Jiang Cheng who proudly nodded, and offered to take Lan Xichen to the market by the lake, where some sellers always had some unique things to sell, he claimed, as well as delicious food. Besides, if Lan Xichen didn't enjoy the market, then they'd have the option to just walk by the lake and enjoy the sight. It seemed like a pleasant enough plan so Lan Xichen agreed. 

As they walked side by side, Jiang Cheng started asking questions about Lan Xichen's performance the previous day, and about Gusu Lan's style of cultivation in general. Jiang Cheng was surprisingly observant, it turned out, and quite curious as well as gifted with a good memory. He lacked the sheer genius that Wei Wuxian seemed to have, but hard work and stubbornness were valuable skills as well. After just this short chat, Lan Xichen thought it made sense that Jiang Cheng had managed to single-handedly raise his sect from the ashes, in that future that couldn't be allowed to happen. 

He thought, also, that his future self had missed out by never taking the time to really talk to Jiang Cheng. The younger boy's character was a little rough around the edges, but he knew how to be polite, and some of his remarks showed an understanding of politics that surprised Lan Xichen. In some ways, Jiang Cheng reminded him of Nie Mingjue as he had been before rising to power. 

When they reached the market, their conversation drifted to lighter topics. Jiang Cheng was disappointed at first to learn Lan Xichen was a strict vegetarian who couldn't handle any spice to his food, but quickly took it as a challenge to find something his companion could still taste. They also wandered from stall to stall, checking on the various wares offered. Lan Xichen was thinking of buying something for his brother, who had been quite unhappy to be left behind when Nie Huaisang had been invited, but wasn't sure what to pick. A year from then he could have gotten something rabbit themed and be done with it, but Lan Wangji hadn't yet developed a love for those animals, and was just impossible to shop for.

Just as Lan Xichen was about to ask for Jiang Cheng’s opinion, since he was of a similar age to Lan Wangji, a commotion further away in the market caught their attention. There seemed to be an argument happening just three stalls away from them, between a seller and a young customer whose voice Lan Xichen had the displeasure of instantly recognising.

Lan Xichen pinched the bridge of his nose, and sighed. Of course Nie Huaisang would have gotten in trouble.

“Isn’t that…” Jiang Cheng started, squinting toward the altercation.

“It is. I’m sorry, Jiang gongzi, but I fear our little excursion ends here.”

Lan Xichen darted ahead, and couldn’t help feeling a little grateful when Jiang Cheng decided to follow, even though this didn’t concern him.

Nie Huaisang, it turned out, had gotten into an argument with a middle-aged man selling cultivation manuals. Both he and the man were shouting loudly at each other, sometimes trying to drag two other people into their fight, a boy whose face Lan Xichen couldn’t see but who even from the back was radiating embarrassment at being caught into this, and an elegant woman who looked just as ashamed.

“If you don’t want me to ruin your business, then you should have an honest one and this wouldn’t happen!” Nie Huaisang was shouting, pointing a threatening finger at the merchant even though the man was two heads taller and at least twice as large as him. “But if you scam people, then I’ll call you a scammer, and a disgrace as well. I’m going to denounce you to the Yunping Huang sect, and then they’ll just…”

“You’ll keep your stupid mouth shut if you know what’s good for you!” the merchant retorted. “Or else I’ll…”

“I’m not scared of you!” Nie Huaisang boasted. “You’re just a liar and a scammer and I’m not scared and I’m going to make sure you never sell fakes again!”

“I'll teach you some respect, you brat!" the man shouted, as he grabbed a sheathed sword from his stall and raised it above his head in a threatening manner.

There were a few frightened cries coming from the crowd that had gathered to watch the argument, but nobody seemed inclined to move forward and protect an insolent but scrawny child from a much more imposing adult when the adult in question had a weapon. Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng too only watched with some curiosity. 

Even a cultivator as mediocre as Nie Huaisang could deal with such a situation. The merchant might have been big, but the way he moved and breathed showed he had no martial training at all, while Nie Huaisang was already positioning himself to avoid whatever blows might be thrown at him. And anyway, even without seeing the blade, Lan Xichen could tell that the man’s sword was of very low quality and would likely bend or shatter should it encounter the blade of Nie Huaisang’s high quality sabre… but it was unlikely it would come to that.

The issue of the fight was obvious to all watchers, although Lan Xichen guessed that most of the crowd was deeply wrong in their certainty.

Among those people was the boy standing near Nie Huaisang, and who appeared to be involved in the dispute as well. He and the woman with him had been trying to get out of this mess up until then, but seeing Nie Huaisang in apparent danger, the boy’s posture changed and he sprang forward when the merchant brought down his sword, pushing Nie Huaisang out of the way.

The boy cried in pain and fell to his knees when the sheathed sword hit his shoulder, while the woman with him gasped in horror and ran to his side to check on him, as did Nie Huaisang once he got over the surprise. It had not been a particularly hard blow. That merchant, regardless of his business practices, must have known that seriously harming even a particularly bratty teenager would turn the crowd against him. But the boy wasn’t strong, and even that light attack seemed to have been too much for him.

Sensing that the situation was about to go bad, Lan Xichen pierced through the crowd to try and calm things down, Jiang Cheng still trailing behind him.

There were a few murmurs when the two of them came into view. The people gathered there glanced at Lan Xichen dressed all in immaculate white, at Jiang Cheng in rich purple, took note of their posture, the sword at their hips, and started whispering among themselves. The merchant too, who had been so confident when arguing with Nie Huaisang, and who had started accusing the other boy of faking his injury, went pale when he realised that some true cultivators had joined them. 

The man immediately started gathering his merchandise to run away, but wasn’t fast enough to stop Lan Xichen from grabbing one of the manuals on sale. He quickly browsed through it, and pinched his lips.

“That is indeed a fake,” Lan Xichen announced, much to the shock of the crowd. Then, behind him, the woman yelled in rage. She jumped to her feet and abandoned the hurt boy to throw herself at the merchant, slapping him so hard he dropped all his merchandise.

“You liar!” she shouted, trying to slap him a second time. “I’ve been buying from you for nearly a year! You said A-Yao would become a cultivator for sure with those!”

“They’re real, they’re real!” the merchant replied, trying to shield himself from her blows. “Maybe your son just doesn’t have what it takes!”

“No, he’s got it,” Nie Huaisang announced, causing all eyes to turn on him. He had kneeled down to grab one wrist of that other boy, and seemed to be inspecting his meridians for any sign of talent. “In fact, I think he could be very good. He just needs some real lessons.”

The boy’s mother stared at him for a moment. Her eyes were wide with surprise at first, but quickly her expression turned into one of triumph at the news of her son’s potential, before she became enraged again and started hitting the merchant once more, demanding her money back. After a moment, Jiang Cheng intervened, trying to calm down the woman while preventing the merchant from fleeing now that his crime had been exposed. Lan Xichen should have helped, he truly should have, but he couldn’t tear his eyes from the woman’s son.

From Meng Yao.

Because that boy, shorter than Nie Huaisang but with a slightly broader frame, who looked dazed from the unexpected turn his morning had taken and perhaps also from the blow he’d suffered, was Meng Yao. Having seen his face there was no doubt possible, even if he was younger than Lan Xichen had ever known him. That boy was the one who, one day, would murder Nie Mingjue and many others, who would ingratiate himself in Lan Xichen’s good graces, who would use Lan XIchen's reputation as a shield before ultimately turning him into a hostage, only to die by his sword.

Lan Xichen felt his throat start to close, the now familiar choking sensation slowly seizing him as he watched Meng Yao, until…

“Really, you’ve got great potential,” Nie Huaisang exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear as he patted the other boy's hand. “You know, my da-ge is a sect leader. Maybe you’ve heard of us, Qinghe Nie? Well, my da-ge is its sect leader, and if I tell him about you, I’m sure he’d be thrilled to let you join us!”

“Nie Huaisang!” Lan Xichen cried out, his panic fading quickly in the face of absolute horror. 

Everyone turning to stare at him. Meng Shi stopped trying to hit the crooked merchant, and liked her son seemed puzzled by his intervention. So was the crowd still watching everything unfold as if it were a particularly entertaining play. Jiang Cheng frowned but retained his hold on the merchant, while Nie Huaisang…

Nie Huaisang was not happy, a scowl forming on his face.

“Nie gongzi shouldn’t go around making this sort of offer,” Lan Xichen said, only to see Nie Huaisang’s expression grow darker still.

It wasn’t quite the open hatred he would have shown two decades in the future, at the second funeral of Nie Mingjue, the very last time they would have spoken.

It wasn’t far from it either, and that realisation made Lan Xichen shiver.

“I’m not saying anything unreasonable,” Nie Huaisang argued. “I know my da-ge, and if he hears about a competent person who wishes to become a cultivator, then for sure he’ll want to give them a chance. It’s the sort of person he is.”

Of course Nie Mingjue would give Meng Yao a chance. That was how Lan Xichen had ended up in this whole mess, wasn’t it?

“I am most grateful for these venerable immortals’ interest in my son,” Meng Shi said, returning near her son and bending to wrap an arm around his shoulders, the very picture of a proud mother. “But this will not be necessary. I have good hopes that someday my A-Yao will enter the Jin sect, and…”

“No!” Lan Xichen and Nie Huaisang shouted at the same time.

Meng Shi startled at the cry, as did her son.

He looked so young, Lan Xichen thought. So young and innocent and… but of course, Meng Yao was innocent, more so than when they would have met in that other future. He hadn’t yet lost his mother, though Lan Xichen thought her complexion already betrayed early signs of illness. He also hadn’t yet been thrown down the stairs of Jinlin Tai by his own father, not for nearly another year, if Lan Xichen were to guess.

Meng Yao was just a boy, who hadn’t yet started on his path of murder and betrayal.

He was a boy who could still be saved, just like Nie Mingjue.

“Oh, I really wouldn’t recommend that you try joining Lanling Jin,” Nie Huaisang said, throwing Lan Xichen a suspicious look. “It’s not a very good place, not unless you’re born into money and power. Their sect leader is a bit of a prick, too.”

“Nie gongzi shouldn’t gossip,” Lan Xichen said out of habit, earning another glare.

“It’s not gossip if it’s the truth. Everyone knows Jin zongzhu is the worst,” Nie Huaisang insisted. “Did you hear about that girl he seduced some years ago? Da-ge said she was just sixteen, and then she got with child, and then he told her that he’d take care of the child, and then he got bored and never went back again.”

“Oh, the one from that rich family in... what was it again? Mo village?” Jiang Cheng remarked. “I’ve heard mother talk about that one. She’d been pestering Jin zongzhu about taking their son into Lanling Jin, but he was worried his wife would figure it out. But Jin Furen still heard about it even like that, and she made a scene. That’s why he stopped going. Well, that and he’d started playing with that other girl… where was it, the one because of whom he didn't go home for two months?”

“No gossip,” Lan Xichen repeated without conviction, his eyes set on Meng Shi.

She’d gone pale at the mention of another bastard, paler still at the news that even a woman of higher standing than hers had failed to make Jin Guangshan keep his promises, but she said nothing and only tightened her grip on her son’s shoulders. Meng Yao too looked shaken by what Jiang Cheng had said, but he appeared less distraught than his mother, as if perhaps he’d already guessed this might be the case but kept on hoping for her sake more than his own.

“It’s really not gossip,” Nie Huaisang claimed, throwing Lan Xichen another annoyed look. “Anyway, Lan gongzi, what if you went to fetch Huang zongzhu and your uncle and Jiang gongzi’s father? Then you won’t have to hear anything that might upset you, and after we’ll get to deal with that man who scammed money out of honest people.”

Lan Xichen hesitated, glancing again toward Meng Shi. She didn't look like she might still try to send her son to Lanling after this, not for a long while at least. But to leave her with Nie Huaisang who had apparently decided to ruin all of Lan Xichen’s plans by inviting Meng Yao into Qinghe Nie.

And yet, there was no other option but for Lan Xichen to be the one who fetched the grown-ups. 

If Nie Huaisang went, Lan Qiren would lose time scolding him, which would give that merchant a chance to run away, or to turn the crowd against them if he was smart… not to mention the Meng family probably had other business to deal with and wouldn’t wait forever, not even for a chance to enter a cultivation sect.

If Jiang Cheng went, he might just get ignored. Lan Xichen hadn’t personally seen it yet, but he knew his future self was aware that Jiang Cheng had a… complicated relationship with his parents, and Jiang Fengmian didn’t particularly favour his own son.

But if Lan Xichen went, his uncle would give him due attention, as he always did when Lan Xichen made it clear he considered a matter important. Perhaps he might even listen to his nephew’s argument in favour of a poor but talented young man, one righteous enough to get hurt trying to protect Nie Huaisang.

That might mean further punishment for Nie Huaisang but Lan Xichen, furious at the other boy for trying to ruin his great plan, didn’t feel particularly sorry about that.

“Nie gongzi, don’t make any more outrageous offers while I’m gone,” Lan Xichen ordered, then turned to Jiang Cheng. “I’m sorry to impose on you, Jiang gongzi, but please keep the situation under control for a little while. I know I can count on you, and I’ll try to be quick.”

Nie Huaisang rolled his eyes, looking more angry at Lan Xichen than before, if that was possible. It mattered little, because Jiang Cheng’s face shone at being trusted like this by someone older, and he nodded with such serious that Lan Xichen felt a little less worried as he left the little group behind.

[alexmitas]

Why I’m Just Like Crime & Punishment’s Raskolnikov and so Are You: A Brief Analysis of Dostoevsky’s Most Famous Novel

Just last night I finished Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment. After mulling it over for a day (likely not nearly long enough to have substantiated a complete analysis, but with my memory I risk forgetting things if I move on to another book before writing about one that I’ve just finished), I’ve decided to get some of my thoughts down. Firstly, I will say that I am struck. While I’m clearly neither the first nor last person to be amazed by this novel, a work as significant as this one still deserves its praise where it’s due. People will often preface praise based on their interpretation of a creative endeavor by stating that its imperfection is obvious, even though that it’s also the best-est or their favorite, or one of the best-est or their favorite creative works that they have ever encountered, or something of the sort. I won’t be so bold to as to make that statement. That’s because, without a doubt, this was a perfect novel. After all, if something is so close to approaching a spade, by all reasonable measures, and only becomes better and better, and more and more like a spade, with age, then why not call it a spade?

Since the beginning I had a certain kind of resonance with Raskolnikov, the novel’s main character. But just as you can’t fully judge a story unless you consider it as a single, coherent piece (that is, until you have read from beginning to end), so too did I not understand the reason for my resonance with Raskolnikov until I finished reading his full tale. He’s young, he’s handsome, he’s intelligent: check, check, check; these things all apply to me, at least to some minor degree - that much was obvious from the very beginning - but while this superficial resonance was my first impression upon dining, it paled in comparison to the impression I had after the final bite of desert; to say nothing of the pleasant after dinner conversation among friends, the latter of which, of course, I use as a metaphor for the epilogue[1]. Every flaw I see in Raskolnikov, I also see in myself; for every action he takes, I can imagine a world in which I could be drawn down a path that would lead me to make the very same decisions, and to take the very same actions. I don’t know what could possibly be a better model than that for a main character.

Perhaps Raskolnikov’s biggest flaw is his overinflated ego, which is hardly out of the ordinary for someone his age, and isn’t entirely unjustified - as I said, he has three of the most promising traits one could hope for: intelligence, youth, and good-looks – but which does, in his case, lead him down an ideological rabbit hole of naivete, a hole which he creates for himself by dropping out of school, refusing work when it’s offered to him, and letting his resentment for the world grow as he lives off of a handful of meager sums sent to him by his mother and sister as a debt ridden fool in a poor Russian city during the eighteen-hundreds. This ideological thinking, which we shall not confuse with illogical thinking, for it is very much logical, brings Raskolnikov to the thought that, yes, it would in fact be a good idea to murder and rob the wealthy old pawnbroker whom is commonly considered amongst his peers as a mean-ol’ crone, holder of many a promissory note, rumored to have left her wealth to the building of a statue in her image through her will, rather than to her own children, whilst also being a generally unsightly and disagreeable woman, and, having done this, could aim to put her money to a more just cause, perhaps distributing it to others, or perhaps using it to further his own career which he would certainly payback in the form of greater value to society later on. And it isn’t such a crazy sounding idea, is it? After all, what is but one crime if the outcome provides a much greater net good? I’ve known many people, including myself, who’ve had thoughts not so unlike this one, and I suspect you are no different, dear reader. So having rationalized this to himself, Raskolnikov goes through with it, and thereby provides us a story of his Crime, which occupies only about one-fifth of the length of the novel, and his Punishment, which nearly occupies the novel’s entirety; with these proportions themselves giving us an idea of the many-fold burden of consequences for actions, as well as foreshadowing what is to come. And this rationalization runs deep. It isn’t until later, that we learn of truer reasons for Raskolnikov’s action, beginning with the discovery of an article he was able to have published while still enrolled in school, and ending with a true confession of his deepest motives to Sonya, to be discussed later.

This article that he wrote sometime before the crime, “On Crime,” reveals deeper rationale for his decision to commit the murder: and that is that he does it as a way to become something more than he is; to break down the cultural and religious structures around him, and more than that to supersede them; to rise above his fellow man as a type of “superman” or Napoleon, as he puts it, becoming someone who is able to “step over” the line which divides who is ordinary and who is great, a line that’s substance consists of rules for the hoi polloi only; ultimately inferring this idea – which, from what I understand was prevalent in Russia during the mid 1800’s – that the best way to view the world is through the lens of nihilism, which employs utilitarianism – the tenet which proposes that actions should be considered just insofar as they help the greatest number of people overall, and where acts of evil may be balanced properly, without the need for consequence, in the face of equal or greater acts of righteousness, especially if that person can prove themselves of some sort of higher value – as a central axiom. Pulling back to a macroscopic view of the novel, this sense that Dostoevsky had to instill within his characters arguments for what at the time was – and still in some sense very well are – contemporary issues, and eternal ideological and philosophical battlegrounds, rather than thrusting his own opinions through the narrator, is something I found to be brilliant and endearing, not only for the sake of keeping the author’s own bias more subdued than would otherwise be the case, but also just as a means to see what happens; to let the characters in the story have the fight, leaving both author and reader alike to extrapolate what hypotheses or conclusions they may as a consequence. In this regard, other characters – including Raskolnikov’s friend, Razumikhin, and state magistrate, Porfiry Petrovich – have the chance to debate with the nihilistic ideology of Raskolnikov after interacting with “On Crime.” This provides depth to contemporary discourse, without reeking of contrivance, and also allows us to see Raskolnikov argue for himself also, even though what he, ‘himself’, stands for is ultimately not clear; not for the reader but also seemingly not for Raskolnikov, as even after deciding to commit the crime, Raskolnikov’s opinion on whether or not it was a just event osculates frequently throughout the novel. It is this osculation, in fact, which constitutes most of Raskolnikov’s early punishment and suffering, as even though it appears as if Raskolnikov has managed to get away with the crime in the domain of the broader world[2], his conscious will not allow such an event to be swept under the rug, or even allow Raskolnikov to continue to live his life unhindered by spiritual corruption, mental destabilization, or physical trauma – all three of which plague him constantly both during his initial contemplations and later fulfillment of the crime. Ultimately, these ideological battles and inward rationalizations do not provide Raskolnikov with the accurate prognostication needed to foretell the outcome of his own state of being after committing such an act; and thereby lies Raskolnikov’s fatal flaw, derived from his arrogance and naivete, where he is left blinded by an ideology which never fulfills its promise of return. Oh, but if only he had a predilection for listening to the great prognosticator within him, his conscious, which, despite his waking thoughts, was calling out to him in the form of dreams.

In what is one of several dream sequences observed by characters in the novel, Raskolnikov dreams himself a young spectator, holding the hand of his father, as the two of them watch a group of misfit boys pile into a carriage. The carriage master, no more than a youthful fool, whips a single mare solely responsible for pulling the carriage. Overburdened and unable to do more than struggle forward at a pathetic pace, the mare whimpers and suffers visibly as the cruel and drunken carriage master orders it to trudge on, whipping it forcefully, all the while calling for any and everyone around the town to pile into the carriage. Laughing and screaming hysterically, the carriage master turns brutal task master when he begins to beat the mare repeatedly after with much effort the beast finally collapses to the ground in exhaustion. Horrifically, a handful of other people from the crowd and the carriage find their own whips and join in on the beating of the poor mare until it finally dies. Young Raskolnikov, having witnessed this event in its entirety, rushes to the mare after its brutal death, kisses it, then turns to the carriage master brandishing his fists before he is stopped by his father. This is the reader’s first warning of the brutality to come, and had Raskolnikov payed heed to what his conscious was trying to communicate to him in his dream, he may have noticed, as we as readers do, that the reaction the young Raskolnikov had to the barbaric murder of the mare very much predicted what Raskolnikov’s ultimate reaction to his then theoretical crime would be – regret; and, therefore, repentance. A second dream of Raskolnikov’s, which very much enforces this idea, pits Raskolnikov in the act of once again murdering Alyona, except this time, when he strikes her atop the head with the same axe, she simply brandishes a smile and laughs uncontrollably instead of falling over dead. This all but confirms Raskolnikov’s suspicions to himself, as his subconscious relays his foolish inadequacy, as a man who thought that he could elevate himself above others by “stepping over” the moral boundaries all of his societal peers abide by (and for good reason). Again, through this tendency that he has to stubbornly ignore his conscious, I find Raskolnikov eminently relatable, to some degree, and it is no wonder: it is a rare individual who finds obeying their conscious to be anything but onerous (then again, perhaps this is only most common in individuals who are still relatively young and naïve, a trait which I share with Raskolnikov, but one in which you may not, dear reader; but I digress). Of course, just because a task is onerous, does not mean that it is impossible. The characters which have been placed around Raskolnikov, and specifically the ones which serve as foils to his character, provide examples of contrast with individuals who at the very least are able to combat the compelling desire that we all have to ignore our consciouses. The three most blatant examples of foils for Raskolnikov are his sister, Dunya, his best friend, Razumikhin, and his eventual wife, Sonya Marmeladov.

The first example of this contrast apparent to the reader is in the character Razumikhin. Razumikhin is also a student living within the same city as Raskolnikov. Unlike Raskolnikov, however, he has not bailed out of university for financial necessity nor wanton of a grand ideological narrative. There is also no reason to believe he has more financial support than Raskolnikov, as he also appears to be poor with no hint of endowment, instead supporting himself through the meager-paying work of translating for a small publisher. And while Razumikhin is even more naïve than Raskolnikov – having never once suspected Raskolnikov of so much as a dash of malevolence – he lacks the same venomous arrogance, whilst showing no signs of lower intelligence. Dunya, Raskolnikov’s sister, provides another example of similar contrast. This is because, as his sister, and, again, with no reason to believe that she is any more or less intelligent or attractive than her brother, Dunya comes from the same upbringing, whilst holds no apparent resentment towards the world around her. Even when she is given the choice to harm someone else – when she finds herself on the side of a gun pointing at a man who has locked her inside of a room against her will (arguably giving her a modicum of a reason to kill another, depending on one’s own stance on morality) – she is unable to do it, instead casting her tool with which to do so aside and letting fate take care of the rest[3]. Lastly, and this may be the most apparent example, presenting what may be Raskolnikov’s true foil, we have dearest Sonya, stepdaughter of the Marmeladovs. Sonya, who in the face of two useless parents, takes it upon herself to prostitute herself so that her family, including three young siblings, may eat, makes Raskolnikov look privileged and morally woeful in comparison. Recognizing this himself, Raskolnikov does his best to look out for Sonya, in what is perhaps his most genuine form of empathy. Despite this – or perhaps, in fact, in spite of this; for early on Raskolnikov identifies Sonya as the sole individual whom may be able to help him redeem himself – Raskolnikov obsessively pushes Sonya to read a verse from the bible involving the story of Lazarus, as a redemption for himself, but also for Sonya, projecting as he does his misdeeds unto her and equating his murderous acts with her soiling of her sexuality for the sake of providing for her family. The story of Lazarus is a story which promises resurrection of the individual as Jesus Christ resurrected Lazarus from the dead. In this way, Raskolnikov probes, a part of him reaching out ever fervently for the means of the rebirth of his soul, despite his hitherto forthright determination to escape his guilt and conviction, looking for proof of Sonya’s moral purity, which he already suspects, despite his accusations, to which she responds by admitting herself a sinner, asking God for forgiveness, and later by bestowing upon Raskolnikov one of her two precious necklace and crosses. And it is in a kindred vein to these three examples of contrast in which the final contrast is made in small part by every character in the novel; for in some sense this novel represents the journey of one man as he isolates himself from a community he loathes to subordinate himself to; of a man who wishes to supersede his place in the world and become a “superman”; of a man who places his individual ideology above the morality of his peers; and it is in this way that the ordinary character, subservient to religion, provides contrast for the atheist who mocks them, not with critique, but with arrogance.

…

…And that ought to be enough for now.

TLDR: 10/10 would recommend.

Thanks for reading,

- Alex      

[1] The epilogue, from what I’ve observed from others’ critiques, seems to be controversial in that some believe the novel stands alone better without it. It is not until the epilogue – well into the sentence of punishment by the state for his crimes – that Raskolnikov finally gives up his idea that, essentially, ‘the only thing he did wrong was improperly rob the old lady and to then fall emotionally and mentally apart afterwards’; where, too, he finally gives up his last bit of arrogance and outward loathing for the world and his circumstances, and accepts responsibility for his actions, likely brought on by the outwardly visible sacrifices made by his then wife, Sonya, who he looks to for repentance. However, critics argue that without the epilogue, we would simply be left to assume on our own that Raskolnikov finally gave in to repentance when the novel ended with his confession, and that that would be preferable to what is otherwise a heavy-handed ending, condensed as it is compared to the rest of the novel. This would make sense and likely be fitting enough of an ending. However, in defense of the epilogue, without it, a reader’s main takeaway from the story might be only, ‘do not underestimate how much opposing your conscious will degenerate your soul,’ while with the epilogue, the takeaway is more likely to also include something along the lines of, ‘beware denigrating religion and the multitude of cultures which it has produced, for without the ability to hold yourself accountable for your own deeds and also to be redeemed, there is nothing standing between you and self-destruction and misery, to say nothing of the destruction and misery of those around you,’ which of course is realized by the death of Raskolnikov’s mother as well as the sickening of himself and his wife, as a consequence of his refusal to actually accept his punishment and repent even after his confession (which without acceptance of responsibility is still only a selfish act), outlined in the two chapters proceeding the end of the novel. So if I’d had the genius necessary to write this story, I’d also have looked to include an epilogue to ensure that the totality of my characters’ lessons would also be realized by the reader, for whatever that’s worth.  

[2] While Raskolnikov does seem to commit the crime of murder and robbery without getting caught, this does not mean that things go according to plan; in fact, far from it: while Raskolnikov manages to murder Alyona, he very poorly robs her – leaving behind a large bundle of cash she had under her bed, which he missed due to his state of unanticipated frenzy. He also ends up killing Alyona’s younger sister, Lizaveta, when she arrives immediately following the murder, in an act of pure self-perseverance, which just goes to show: when you take the fate of the world into your own hands, when you ‘step over’ the boundaries that your culture (or God; whichever) has deemed should not be crossed – when you arrogantly and naively take the fabric and truth of the universe into your own hands – you do not know what it is you are doing; you do not know what the consequences of your actions will be. It isn’t made clear the degree to which the killing of Lizaveta changed the outcome for Raskolnikov’s soul. Perhaps committing one crime constitutes the same moral weight as committing two crimes simultaneously, but also perhaps it was everything; the one factor unaccounted for which destroyed his evaluation of just outcomes and, having done so, his resolve.

[3] Here is a specific instance in which Dostoevsky’s propensity to pit ideas against each other in the form of characters playing out their practicalities in a real-world context comes to bear. This specific battle, represented by the juxtaposition of the aforementioned scene with Raskolnikov’s murdering of the two women, pits morality against ideology, while leaving a clear winner: for it is one which leads to the eradication of two lives and the degradation of more than one soul, and it is another which leads to the absolution of a dangerous conflict. These two specifically – morality and ideology – clash frequently during the novel’s entirety, with morality often taking its microcosmic form of religion.

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Thoughts on chapter #293 (AKA a very long post)

I made a post when chapter #292 came out and one person replied with "I love how everyone thinks that villain stans automatically agree with and condone the villains' actions". I don't think myself to be a villain stan, although I do love Horikoshi's villains, since they're all amazingly interesting characters. There are villains that I feel very compassionate to: Shigaraki, Dabi, Twice, Spinner and Toga. And I could instantly relate to Stain's philosophy, while being totally turned off by his actions. I don't think villain stans condone the violent actions of their favorite characters, I'm sorry if my previous post made people believe I do. But from the most recent releases I gathered that there is maybe a small fraction of villain stans that aren't really seeing the intricacies of the full picture. I don't mean this in a bad way: this is definitely the villains' time to shine and I know we were all waiting for the big Dabi-Endeavor showdown since theories were thrown around, so it's normal to be hyper-focused in what our favorite character is doing or what's happening with them. It's easy to forget that there are times and places where it's safe to show our compassion. I'm not gonna lie, I'm kinda annoyed that some villain stans seem to want the heroes to show compassion to Dabi right now, while they're in the middle of a battle that would decide the sorts of their society. Thanks to Dabi's speech, the civilian's faith in their "picture-perfect" system is crumbling (well, I hope so, because their society sucks on so many levels) and Best Jeanist, who was bashed for absolutely no reason all over Twitter last week, before the official translation was out, knew that that was Dabi's intention all along. Tōya could have told his own story right after Stain's video came out, if he so wanted. He chose to join the League, instead, because as we know now, he might have thought that he would have a better chance to kill Shōto, that way. I can't blame Tōya AT ALL for wanting and needing to see Endeavor, finally, rightfully, punished. However, Dabi throwing the compassion card around in the middle of a life-and-death situation (a situation where his main end-goal is to hurt people), is just peak manipulation...

... Which is awesome for a villain!

It's less awesome if you're standing on the Heroes' side and you're hearing about all the years of abuse that a colleague of yours put his family through, for the first time. I want to note that not a single Hero, till now, has said that they do not believe Dabi (not that I recall, at least). I saw one comment on Tumblr saying they didn't like that Best Jeanist used the word "dirty laundry", the chapter before, but I don't think the Hero said it in disrespect. I think it had more to do with Dabi's intentions behind revealing his truth, than Best Jeanist not believing him, or worse, dismissing him as a victim. Dabi's truth was called "dirty laundry" because Tōya didn't use it to seek justice, for himself and his family, but rather to get revenge on everyone, to create chaos and to excuse his own criminal actions. It's a truth tainted by hatred, not in the sense that fans of the manga and the Heroes should just forget about it: his past and pain are very, very real and Dabi and the rest of the villains need help. But the Heroes cannot take the time to feel sorry for their enemies, right at this moment, because if they do, that's the end. That's kinda what happened between Toga and Uraraka: she needs to stop Toga because while hurting people might come natural to the villain, that's not a healthy way to live. Toga didn't ask to be the way she is, and as a Hero, it should be Uraraka's job to give her the chance to get the treatment she didn't get as a child, that would teach Toga how to deal with her natural urges in a way that is not harmful to anyone. Mind you, Toga didn't seem to like the idea of conforming herself to anyone else's expectations, so she might not want the therapy. Uraraka would still need to give her all to stop the villain, no matter how sorry she actually feels inside for her.

If the villains win, the Heroes will not be able to rectify their society. Only after this fight ends and villains are taken into custody, it would be safe for the Heroes to show their honest reactions to Dabi's revelation. Only then we can hope to see them caring for the villains' health and their truths and possibly demand that Endeavor turns himself in (I actually want him to do so on his own, without external input). The Heroes aren't being heartless, if that's what some villain stans are thinking. They simply do no have the luxury to let Dabi's words manipulate them into feeling bad for him during a fight, because innocent people's lives are at stake here and just because Tōya had a horrible childhood, it doesn't mean that he's gonna care and let those innocent people be. Dabi wants to see the WHOLE world burn.

Onto Deku, now, the second character in two weeks accused by some, of being an abuse apologist.

He's the first character EVER to confront Endeavor on his treatment of Shōto, after seeing how his own classmate was spiralling and hurting himself, because Shōto didn't want to use HIS OWN Quirk to prevent himself from quite literally freeze to death, all because of Endeavor's abuse.

Deku has always wanted to follow All Might's steps and like All Might, he wishes to be able to save everyone in need. Toshinori, however, already told him that that's not realistic and Deku accepted the fact that he can only save the people in need that he's able to reach and as we saw with Shōto, Kota and Eri, he's ready to lay out his own life and break every single bone in his body to do so. He's so determined to save people, even against the worst of odds, that he can twist fate. I think it's exactly this determination of his that made him speak out this time, not only for Shōto, but for Endeavor, too. Do I like that Deku cares? Yes, I'm glad that people like Deku exist, people that genuinely care and wish and pray for criminals to regret what they've done so they can have a chance to right their wrongs and become a better person. Do I think Deku would stop Endeavor from turning himself in or defend Endeavor in front of the other Heroes so they don't take him away and bring him to justice? I might be wrong, Horikoshi can still make a fool out of me, but I don't think so. Deku knows the years of abuse are there and they will never go away. Deku is also the guy who told off Natsuo for trying to make Shōto feel resentful towards their father, when Shōto was somewhat past that and only wanted to heal. Deku recognized that the siblings have all different ways to deal with trauma and told Natsuo that his feelings are valid, but he can't push them onto Shōto, because Shōto's feelings on the matter are just as valid, even if they don't align with those of his big brother.

Just like villain stans can feel compassion towards Dabi because of his past, while being repulsed by his criminal actions in the present, Deku can feel repulsed by Endeavor's abuse of his own family and still see that a part of him (no matter how little it is) wishes to be a better human being. Deku didn't say that Endeavor should be automatically forgiven for his past actions, no one can deny that the abuse still has serious repercussions for every Todoroki involved (yes. EVERY). But the thing with Deku is that once he's seen this tiny, barely-even-there, light in you, he will fight to save you. I don't think that the people calling Deku an abuse apologist are giving his intuition or insight enough credit.

Dabi's not Endeavor: this means that Deku hasn't seen anything in this fight that might hint to Tōya wanting to be saved. Again, the same thing happened between Toga and Uraraka. And sadly, even Twice and Hawks (Hawks miscalculated sooo bad there). It's unfortunate that phrases like "you can only save someone if they want to be saved" and "you cannot help someone who refuses to be helped" still apply to this world, but that's the ugly truth and I'm sure that to someone like Deku that's a very hard and bitter pill to swallow. Endeavor said he wants to right his wrongs: in my opinion, he's still got a lot of work to do, since he should have really started it all off by being honest to everyone about his actions and let justice do its course. During this battle I'm forced to recognize (like Deku does) that Endeavor might actually be able to reedem himself, after actually atoning for his crimes. I cannot say the same for Dabi, because he doesn't want to atone for the bad things he has done. I didn't see Deku's speech as him excusing Endeavor's abuse to his victim or conceding the point to Tōya, that Heroes don't care about villains. I saw it as Deku telling Dabi to stop using his own abuse as an excuse to hurt other victims (Shōto, Natsuo, Fuyumi and Rei) because as harsh as it sounds, Tōya can't demand compassion for his own pain while being uncapable of showing compassion to his own little brother. Maybe Tōya doesn't actually know everything that Shōto has suffered through, maybe he thinks that his little brother got lucky with his Quirk and didn't have it as bad as he did. That's not his place to say. Dabi is making a contest out of their family's pain, trying to declare which Todoroki got it worse (clearly believing that it's him and that that allows him to do whatever he wants to, now), so I reiterate: he can't ask for compassion in the middle of the battle and the Heroes are actually doing the right thing, not letting themselves being manipulated like that and basically forfeiting the fight.

AFTER this arc ends, I truly hope to see the Heroes showing their compassion for the villains. I hope they would get rid of that obnoxious Hero Ranking and that the society would stop festering the idea that only certain Quirks and their users are strong and valuable and deserving of a voice. I hope they could change their world so that people like Tenko, Tōya, Jin, Himiko and Shuichi are able to ask for help AND BE HELPED before it is too late.

[sensoriella]

CANON DIVERGENCE: CRIME SORCIERE’S PARDON.

disclaimer: please note that this analysis does not necessarily reflect any personal out of character opinions. people who have murdered and committed violent crimes are obviously bad and deserve punishment. whether i think people like that can be redeemed in a realistic setting is a concept i don't even feel like fathoming in a casual roleplay setting. it’s simply incomprehensible to me because well, i don’t know any murders or criminals in real life. and if i did, i would probably pick the sensible answer and say no, or that it would take an immeasurably long time and probably lots of psychiatric council. ( much longer than the span of the fairy tail series ) BUT, i didn’t major in human psychology or criminal justice unfortunately, so i’m going to work with this pardon thing in a fictional sense the best i can.

it’s difficult to understand how exactly the justice system of fiore works. but given the amount of excused ‘crimes’ and disregarded acts that have occurred for other mages ( not in dark guilds ), the crime sorciere pardon isn’t that hard to believe. also please consider the fact that fiorian royalty isn’t exactly clean of non-violent acts themselves. i mean, they have a group of mage executioners than kill people ( maybe brutally, for all the royals know ) on their behalf! 

mind you, crime sorciere is not pardoned easily. per plotting with other crime sorciere muses, these former dark guild wizards participate in a series of ethic / criminal trials to answer for their sins and past crimes. their trials go on for weeks to months. after the alvarez war, they were held under strict probation ( via magic resistant trackers ) and were not allowed to leave the city of crocus during those trials. their pardon does not occur absent of conditions. so be aware that their freedom doesn’t come without a price, and their lives do not necessarily become easy nor more peaceful.

so how did this become possible ? why were ex-criminals and former fugitives allowed to walk free ?

firstly, why would crime sorciere wizards agree to the pre-trial terms at all? why would they all consent to magic trackers and even bother facing the trials ? they could’ve ran again, fled the country even, in the smoke of post-war chaos. yet it’s hard to believe that a guild who took arms against an enemy in support of fiore would abandon their home now. they could’ve just left the country ages ago, before the war got ugly at least. i personally theorize that they want their voices to be heard. they want to be forgiven in the eyes of the public in pursuit of a better future, because they do not enjoy the fugitive life! isn’t it the main purpose of crime sorciere to atone for their sins and find peace within themselves–––to be able to lead lives where they don’t have to feel shunned and hated by the world? one could argue that defeating zeref was the main purpose, but i truly can’t see that being a strong enough reason for them to risk their lives for years in service of fiore, when they can just leave and forget everything–––let the dark wizard be the light guilds’ problem! it’s always been about a bigger picture for them, whether it be survival, redemption, or just simply being able to live with themselves after all their lives hit rock bottom. it’s also possible that many, if not most, of them had no intention of returning to jail if things went sour. they are tired of running nonetheless. 

going into the trial period, they’re smart enough to know that their participation in the war helped the country immensely ( yes, i do believe they helped. even if most of what canon shows us is members being K.O.ed by august. ) every action, every collaboration, and their appearances at the war, some members making a bigger impact than others, made a difference in bringing down the common enemies. members of crime sorciere are smart enough to know that fiore can’t just ignore that.

so let’s go back to the beginning, to remember the extent of their past transgressions. jellal deceived fiorian leaders, abused his council authority, kept a slave operation afloat, murdered, and attempted to destroy many lives–––all under the influence of a higher manipulator. ultear did . . . most of the same, on top of her allegiance with grimoire heart who were involved in the destruction of various villages and mass killings. meredy was associated with grimoire heart, and it’s likely that she too took part in violent crimes. ( whether she personally killed mages or not ) the oracion seis also participated in the destruction of various guilds and mass killings. the oracion seis members, and this is canonly mentioned, killed for money or as a result of completing jobs. were those deaths warranted? does that make things better? not really, but it makes them slightly more manageable than the others, i’m sorry to say, with the proper conditions. the problem with the oracion seis, is they haven’t been freed from prison for very long, so they appear more unpredictable than jellal, meredy, and ultear. whereas, the original crime sorciere members proved that they are able live ‘peacefully’ in fiore for at least seven years. again they didn’t attack innocents only dark guilds, and they exclusively carried out their work in a non-public manner, for their own sake.

now, breaking convicts out of prison is definitely frowned upon. ultear and meredy participated in the prison break of jellal, freeing him well before the end of his sentence time. in regards to the oracion seis ‘prison break’, please note that one wasn’t even a prison break! the oracion seis was set free per official order of a man of the magic council. if anything, he should’ve been penalized for the same crime that ultear and meredy committed. but he wasn’t because justice is twisted in fiore. so these crimes are also hard to overlook, but with enough persuasion and the right ‘connections’, not impossible.

crime sorciere was always meant to be a stealth operation. they were quiet and lived under the radar. they didn’t disturb the innocent public, or interact with anyone else unless it was absolutely necessary. there main targets were always dark wizards and dark guilds, which provided more help than harm through the council’s eyes. meredy and ultear watched the grand magic games from a mountain, because they didn’t want to be within sniffing distance of the rune knights. it’s clear that they probably spent most of their crime sorciere years that way. while in crime sorciere, the oracion seis didn’t commit violent crimes under jellal’s rein. not just because of jellal watching their every move, but because they were smart enough to keep their heads down. given that fact, one of the platforms that they used to argue is that they have not truly committed any illegal acts after ‘disbanding’ from their original designated dark guild, under their original leader ( re: jellal participating in the gmg. since that act more so involved the grand magic games society, it’s not really within the jurisdiction, or concern, of the magic council. basically, cheating is bad, but it doesn’t warrant incarceration. ) this is assuming that it’s not necessarily an imprisonable offense to be an unofficial guild, so long as they don’t accept illegal jobs or disturb the innocents. which they hadn’t. i assume it’s not warranted to arrest to be in an independent guild, because crime soricere operated for seven years, while the council knew of their existence, without being caught. either the rune knights are terrible at their job ( probably ) or they didn’t care enough if said guild wasn’t bothering anyone innocent.

a huge argument that can be made in favor of their freedom, is their ‘community service’ to fiore that extended for up to 2 years. ( 7 years for some members ) yes, their actions were very ‘vigilante’ like, but their acts were more annoying, yet helpful, to the council than wicked. they also argued on how it would be unjust to criminalize them for being quiet and non-destructive as an independent guild, when some legal guilds are capable of demonstrating unethical and destructive results of their behavior, without receiving arrest. ( tips hat to fairy tail ) 

when it came to past transgressions, some could argue that they had received punishment. most of them were imprisoned for seven years. others were forced to live life in solitude, forcibly exiled from fiorian cities and towns. is that a suitable punishment? not really, but something is better than nothing. 

during their trials, individuals may have testified against or in favor of the pardon. it's safe to say an array of opinions came flooding in.

parents of children, whom which erik had saved from human trafficking, were in favor of the conditional pardon. human trafficking is a huge issue in fiore and often slips under the council’s nose. some found that this was an example of demonstrated acts of good will and capabilities of change. 

those affected by the nirvana incident, were not in favor. nirvana’s awakening specifically affected three official guilds. blue pegasus and lamia scale took the most damage at the hands of the oracion seis. unfortunately for them, some could say that having the original proprietor and mastermind of the nirvana plot, Master Brain, left behind bars was sufficient justice ( hey this headcanon where Brain was left alive came in handy! ) especially since many of the other oracion seis members were under the age of 18 during that crime. ( i’m not saying this is adequate justice nor does it excuse the oracion seis of their crimes. trust me, it’s a brutal situation and many people would’ve been rightfully angry. but it's a small detail that helped them down the road to granted redemption. )

some fairy tail members were also in favor of the pardon, due to personal / professional ties with certain members of the guild–––and due to lack of suffering by the guild. yes there’s biases were involved unfortunately! but this happens all the time in fiore canon, so why can’t it work here too? fairy tail may have fought all of these members at one point, but since they didn’t receive grave injuries ( and some even bonded with / forgave them after ) they simply didn’t feel the need the vote against a pardon. and unfortunately for some, fairy tail is a very powerful guild both physically and politically. fairy tail’s guild master has pulled enough strings in the past to make their voice exceptionally influential.

villagers, non-mages, mages, and anyone else who suffered as collateral damage at the hands of grimoire heart and the oracion seis would not have been in favor. it might not have been personal for the dark guilds, but it was personal to them. but given the amount of many years that have passed since their conflicts with those guilds ( both of which were disbanded, guild masters either dead or imprisoned ), and it’s difficult to place designated blame on ex-guild individuals. those witnesses may have to settle for probationary terms and certain pardon conditions. 

other guild members personally affected by some crime sorciere wizards like kagura, who have valid reason to hate jellal for the death of her brother, for example, may have also taken part in the trials. complicated opinions may have been made in favor or opposition of the pardon. ( i will not go into too much detail about this, as decisions of certain character opinions rests with those who write as them. ) 

unfortunately for anyone else who didn’t favor the pardon, most enemies of members of crime sorciere and the oracion seis were also dark guild wizards, or dead. so their input could not be presented before a judge as reliable input. yes, this is a loophole that really benefited crime sorciere the most. 

after the rigorous trials and ethnic screenings, crime sorciere was granted a conditional pardon. several terms had to be abided by for this to come to pass. the independent guild of crime sorciere, under the rule of jellal, was forced to disband. the council just couldn’t bring themselves to allow a guild, run by a man who betrayed the council in the past, to exist. per a idea thought of by jana and marcy, the crime sorciere members had to participate in a reintegration program. following disbandment, former crime sorciere members were made to enter this program if they wished to remain in fiore, otherwise leave the country in exile. the reintegration program was a means to encourage those ex-convicts to learn to live in the fiorian society as model citizens. members were not allowed to pursue jobs without supervision of approved s-class mages of legal guilds. the ex-cons of crime sorciere had to demonstrate ethical behavior and were forbidden to accept jobs without a ‘mentor’ consent. this probationary period may last between months to years, depending on the behavior of said member. crime sorciere ex-members were not allowed to pursue any independent jobs, until the probationary period was complete. of course, the mages of crime sorciere were not happy with this arrangement, but the outcome would far benefit the possibly of incarceration and, for some, banishment. crime sorciere ex-members were also held financially responsible for any transgressions they caused in the past ( ex: medical expenses of mages they harmed ). another condition would be that psychiatric / cognitive counsel ( aka. therapy!! ) is also a necessity in order for the ex-crime sorciere members to be confidently released independently back into society.

after the conditional period was completed successfully by all members, a new crime sorciere was eventually allowed to be legalized, providing a more trusting and suitable master ( in the eyes of the council ) would lead. meredy, a former crime sorciere / grimoire heart member with mostly misdemeanor crimes ( all of which occurred under the age of 13 ) was permitted to reform the guild under certain guidelines and close monitoring. meredy would present the idea before the council ( perhaps a year or so later ) and inform them of the benefits crime sorciere could have on the country. it was meredy’s goal, inspired by jellal and ultear, to rebuild the guild so that it would be recognized by the council to help reformed convicts and troubled mages to rehabilitate and integrate into society. most new members would most likely be those who recently served their debt to society, but were not trusted enough to be left alone. it would be the renewed crime sorciere’s aspiration to help future problematic mages become functional members of fiore. while other wizards may have been suitable for the role of acting master, meredy would demonstrate the most ethical improvement in character, the cleanest record ( of previous crime sorciere wizards ) and pose as a model mentor for mages who previously strayed from a moral path.

[zaruba-needslove]

Ahaha. Here I am again with sharing another vid of this same bloody song with meta pasted alongside it. It’s weird how so often my gut feelings over a show ended up hitting right on target. 

Like in some other vid comment I said that this song was practically Hyungbin/Soohyuk suffering song. In which few others also agree/had the same opinion and few others argued that it’s not. Since the song appeared in Jongbeom’s scene as well. But now after the drama was concluded and we saw the full picture, there should no longer be any doubts as to whom this song mostly represented. (Like you should watch this vid and look at the lyrics/translations of the lyrics and think about Hyungbin/Soohyuk’s plot throughout the series.)

That said, I might as well do a meta on Hyungbin/Soohyuk now. (Been meaning to do this for a while tbh.)

Since KBSdrama youtube tend to share clips of the current airing drama clips shortly after the episode air, I tend to check the channel out whenever I’m following any certain KBS dramas that I like. And because of that, I tend to read people’s comments as well. Bad habit. There’s something that bothered me a bit about how some people viewed Hyungbin/Soohyuk’s character. Like how they said Hyungbin was an incompetent policeman (for assuming Gong Jicheol the serial killer etc) and how Soohyuk was such a corrupt prosecutor (for having falsified evidence etc) and using that as the reason why they prefered Gong Jicheol/Cheon Jongbeom as their preferred character. While yeah, everyone is allowed to have their preferences I can’t help wanting to defend that Hyungbin/Soohyuk was not the kind of people they think they were.

I mean, how would you expect Hyungbin to figure out the real killer especially when the dude (Gong Inu) was technically ‘dead’ officially? And that time period... there’s still no DNA technology, at most people could test for blood types... as well as fingerprint analysis. And with the many conflicting details (different person who kills, different person to put on the socks on the victim, different(?) person that paints the portraits of the victims...) that didn’t quite make sense, how could Hyungbin figure out who was and wasn’t a suspect? It’s not like Hyungbin was some bigshot cop who had informants all over the place!

(Not to mention the whole how the hell Gong Inu manage to fake his death... but we gonna set that argument aside for now.) With all that already present, making Hyungbin’s investigation a bit problematic to figure out... isn’t it VERY troublesome when you have this kid Gong Jicheol trying to ‘fake’ a new victim, under the pretence of wanting to create a new brain-dead person who could later become a heart donor for Haeeun, by linking his murder to be a part of Gong Inu’s serial murder? Would that be Hyungbin’s fault that Gong Jicheol end up falsely accused for Gong Inu’s murder? While it’s true that Haeeun didn’t exactly see Jicheol murdered the woman, she was there when the woman screamed after being hit by Jicheol, and that salon had only ONE entrance and Jicheol was the only other person inside. What you gonna say about that? Gong Jicheol DID. STILL. MURDERED. A PERSON. And Haeeun ended up having testified for that... albeit under false accusation as it was assumed to be part of a serial murder when it was not.

And this guy also happened to have a big crush on Haeeun and have a habit of shadowing her night and day. And it also happened that Gong Inu was also aware of this crush... and you also have a very carefree Haeeun who still happily carrying around a YELLOW umbrella when a serial murder case with the victim’s being women WITH yellow umbrellas still unresolved. (Oh no... it got Dooly’s picture on it. No dear, IT DOES NOT MATTER!) Do you think, with all this being stacked on Hyungbin’s conscience, that dude will not be EXTRA wary and protective over his girlfriend who happened to have a weak heart and also happened to be the daughter of a couple he inadvertently led to their deaths because of a criminal that he had been chasing after? Do you think that guy will NOT be very frantic when he finds out the stalker that shadowed his gf happened to keep HER UMBRELLA at his home as well as being caught burning the actual keepsake of Gong Inu’s murders in the open??? How on earth would you think that Hyungbin would NOT see Gong Jicheol as a murder suspect? Heck, he was even MURDERED in order to have Gong Jicheol be blamed for his death!

HOW CAN YOU THINK HE WAS INCOMPETENT DETECTIVE WHEN HE’S JUST BEEN INVESTIGATING BASED ONLY ON THE INFORMATION THAT HE HAD AT PRESENT? Also about him initially refusing to have Haeeun testify against Jicheol. Oi, Haeeun had a weak heart. Do you think Hyungbin would want to risk endangering her wellbeing by having her testify at court just so he can get Jicheol jailed? After what happened to her parents?

When Gong Jicheol ran away and try to look for Haeeun, what did you think the first thing that came to his mind? Haeeun’s safety! And he had a reason to be worried. Gong Jicheol did attack the doctor who was checking on him! And we don’t even know if the doctor was only slightly injured or DEAD.

Also on Soohyuk. We were given a brief back story on how Soohyuk’s father ended up suiciding because he felt responsible, due to the fact that the criminal to whom he thought was repenting on their crimes ended up KILLING the witness who testified against them right after they were released from prison. How do you think that incident would’ve affected Soohyuk? As much as his late father had told him to believe in the good of people and that we should give chance for them to redeem themselves, after what happened to his father, do you think he’d trust the words of criminals that claimed to have turn a new leaf and regretted their crimes? Would he ever again trust the words of a criminal? Then, weigh all that to his reason for using unidentified remains and fabricating evidence to make sure all criminals get locked in jail and never again hurt anyone he cared about. Unlike Cheon Seoktae who did it mostly to rise in ranks, Soohyuk just want to keep criminals off the streets. Yes, while his methods may be too extreme... consider this. Can you always know for sure whether someone was innocent or guilty of a crime ESPECIALLY when you don’t have enough evidence/unable to find any evidence because the criminal hid it too well? If you somehow fail to convict a murderer and let them go free, how’d you feel if those criminal create even more victims? Wouldn’t all that guilt haunt you for life afterwards? Then tell me, if you can judge Kim Soohyuk and the people supporting his methods for doing what they did? (The drama DID hint on that tbh, like Dr. Yoo mentioned something about a past case... but we never got to hear about that because the drama sucks on the development of the crime plot.)

Also on the part when Soohyuk shot Jongbeom. That very scene that was almost a parallel between the earlier Hyungbin-Jicheol confrontation. On both situations Hyungbin and Soohyuk was in a state of alarm and panic over Haeeun/Sabin’s safely. And then you have Jicheol/Jongbeom being dodgy AF in between them. And afterwards, both of them made a sudden movement. You think anyone could think long before reacting to the situation? When even ONE SECOND could change between life or death, especially when Soohyuk thought Sabin was hurt (the blood spill from outside, her being tied up, Jongbeom holding a knife and hulking over her menacingly)? And all this could’ve been avoided had Jicheol/Jongbeom just stayed still and disarm himself and allow Hyungbin/Soohyuk to be at ease and be assured that Haeeun/Sabin was safe. Like Jicheol/Jongbeom argued that no one cared to listen to them but on the other hand they also did not bother to listen to others or trust them? So you cannot put all the blame solely on Hyung/Soohyuk for reacting to the situation as is because it’s either that or losing someone they loved. Soohyuk himself had said that the incident was also traumatic to him as well. Meaning he wasn’t also in the calmest state at that time!

Also, I ended up arguing with some other people who still insist that Soohyuk deserved his bad ending because Soohyuk needs to pay for his past sins... even more than Jicheol, and WTH was that LOGIC? As if Hyungbin wasn’t already paying for it by becoming Haeeun’s legal guardian as well as fiancee because of his guilty conscience for indirectly causing Haeeun’s parent’s death to the extent of him having symptoms similar to Haeeun's heart attacks, as well as him being content JUST by seeing Haeeun alive and well thus he ended up going to the extremes in order to protect her. HOW MUCH PUNISHMENT DID YOU WANT THAT POOR FICTIONAL PERSON CARRY?

*breathe*

This should be enough then for Hyungbin/Soohyuk meta. Anything else I’ll just be throwing it all out on my fics. Even if no one would unlikely be reading any of it because of how messed up this drama had been. I need to take a break at writing this. Cos all the anger that resurface while typing this made me feel sick again I need to get something to drink.

[ruffiorocks]

Relationship Parallels on Supergirl and why Jonn and Mgann were in my opinion the WORST one!

(Long post)

Sooo this is my last post before I take a break from here and Supergirl as I'm just not enjoying it at all anymore. The plot makes no sense, the characters aren't themsleves, guest stars get more of a story arc than the main characters, Lena suddenly trusts Lex after all we have ever seen her do is talk about how manipulative her family is and we even saw her reading about his manipulation of her last season! Kara is still getting to hold all the cards and information and instead of oh I don't know SHARING that info with Lena SHE decides to just wash her hands of her and sit this one out? The 'heroes' can still do anything they want, even join Lex without any repercussions because erm... reasons I guess? But Lena still has to prove herself CONSTANTLY. Oh and finally Kara and William? It's following the exact same trope as the Mon El and Kara story did, but at least they had a connection 😤.

But anyway, I've seen mentions that one of the only 'healthy' straight relationships on the show was Jonn and Mgann......erm......am I the only one who remembers how that went down? Am I the only one who doesn't think that Jonn can be excused of all the HORRIBLE things he's done because he's been called "papa bear" and "space dad"? Don't remember what I'm referring to? Let me elaborate.

First off I'm not Jonns biggest fan due to his murderous tendencies when he sees a white Martian, his blantent MURDER of an unarmed and deeply troubled Manchester Black who in no way deserved to die and Jonn had no right to kill. Oh and his relaxed use of Kryptonite on Kara. You know, all those things people like to put Lena down for, but forget that Jonn did them all to.

But his relationship with Mgann was not the epic romance you all seem to falsely remember it was. This was Romeo and Juliet where Romeo BEAT Juliet almost to death!!

Mgann was quietly working at the Alien dive bar when Maggie brought Alex there and suddenly the place wasn't quite the safe haven it had been. Maggie brought a DEO agent who's job it was in season one to simply hunt and lock up aliens to their safe spot?? Alex then of course told Jonn who decided to make his presence known there! The director of the Alien hunting, no trial, we just lock you up forever DEO went to the Alien safe space!

Mgann who had been quietly and peacefully living her life (and helped Alex out with info) recognised Jonn as a green Martian. Instead of staying in her safe spot she decided to avoid any confrontation and move on, probably because she was scared of what would happen. Jonn chases after her and confronts her where she feels like she has to pretend to be a green Martian. Who wouldn't?

Jonn pesters her over making the Martian Bond to preseve their history, and she says no because obviously she can't. But he keeps on about it to her. (Not unlike a certain William being told to back off but still persistent 🤔).

Now remember that Mgann told Jonn a version of the story of how she got away from the Martian Camps. She said she was released/saved by a kind white martian refused to kill. The only untrue part was she WAS the white Martian.

Jonn finds out she's fighting in Roulettes alien fights and gets mad at her. She's doing it to punish herself. They are forced to fight, he won't hurt her, later she turns on Roulette, he tells her not to punish herself for survivors guilt and nawwww we have the beginning of what COULD have been a lovely romance since they decided to change these characters from Uncle and Niece.

But.... then we get this!

Jonn is dying! He needs a blood transfusion. Alex goes to the only other "Green Martian" for help! But Mgann says no, because she knows her blood will poison Jonn and turn him into a White Martian, something he would see as a fate worse that death. But Alex pressures Mgann into it, and she doesn't want him to die. So she saves his life. She's even there when he wakes up and she has made a special Martain drink for him. He is grateful and asks her to stay until he falls back to sleep.

Later we have Jonn turning into a white martian and he clicks why! He goes to the Alien bar, Mganns safe place to find her once again trying to leave to avoid fighting him and being discovered. Why? Because she KNOWS no matter what she will be punished for the crime of simply BEING a white martian.

Jonn, in all his papa bear and space dad wisdom believes she's out to get him and asks about more coming to attack him. Yes Jonn, because it's always all about you. It's not like YOU went to Mganns safe place, it's not like YOU pursued her. It's not like YOU banged on about the Martian Bond she quite frankly didn't want to do. It's not like YOU got to know her. It's not like YOU have now chased after her TWICE when she has wanted to peacefully leave.

No, Jonn calls her a liar and makes it ALL about him and decides the best course of action towards the woman who has just saved his life and he knows on a personal level and who has explained to him that SHE was the White Martian who couldn't kill Green ones, is to...wait for it.... BEAT HER TO DEATH!!!

Yes folk, that's the part everyone who says this was a beautiful and healthy relationship forget about.

Jonn is about to kill Mgann when she shifts into her human form and begs him to kill her like that because she doesn't want to die a white martian because her very existence disgusts her.

Jonn, oh that wise and loving papa bear who can do no wrong decides on a whim not to kill her! Hurrah for space dad! No, he decides to simply LOCK HER UP IN THE DEO FOREVER!!! No trial, no actual crime was committed but she is a white martian and grumpy space dad doesn't like them and they all deserve death, even the one that was his friend and everyone elses friend and just saved his ungrateful ass from death!! He even knows her back story, he knows she hates the fact she's a White Martian, but because Jonn is the judge, jury and executioner of the DEO this is all erm... ok??

Later we have Mgann under a psychic attack and she falls unconcious. At first Jonn thinks it's a ploy, because erm... reasons again? But no, she is going to die! Alex pleads with Jonn to help Mgann, you know, the woman who only recently saved him from death? But he doesn't care, she can die and that is that. It actually takes persuading from Alex and a guilt trip for him to see Mgann as worth saving. Bare in mind, she hasn't actually commited any kind of crime. Jonn is illegally holding her in a cell forever because he has a grudge against her species.

Jonn eventually makes the bond with her, he sees her trauma and what she went through on Mars and suddenly they have a connection and erm... all is well?? Are you f**king kidding me?!!

Then we have her husband arrive, and all that jazz and then Mgann leaves to go to Mars. We see them meet up again and oh it's sweet. It's so nice that the writers want you to forget the horrific things that Jonn did to her and guess what? You did! You forgot!

Let's compare this with a few other ships and relationships on the show.

Karamel had its major problems, Kara addressed them and heck even Chris Wood did. It's very similar.

Kara had prejudice against Daxamites. She only sees Mon El as a threat when she realises he isn't Kryptonian, before that it's all concern.

Jonn has a prejudice against White Martians, before he realises what Mgann is its all friendship and concern.

Kara locks up Mon El and basically tells him has going to stay in that cell. She locks him up because she believes he attacked the President, even though she has absolutely no proof of that. She even mocks his species because erm.... reasons I guess?

Now yes Mon El attacked Kara, but the difference is he wasnt friends with Kara. He hasn't formed a bond with her. Mon El woke up on a foreign planet and panicked. He wanted to get home safely and he went with fight or flight. The only other time these two physically fought is when Mon El had no control over his body. Oh and that time later on when Myrnn did that whole psychic attack thing.

Now Mon El lied about being the Prince, which to me was OK to begin with. He has just met Kara, who hates Daxamites and even outright voiced her disgust of the royal family. He just got her to see him differently and not lock him up so yeah i don't think I'd have told her i was the Prince either.

It's not unlike Mgann not telling Jonn she was a white Martian. She knew what he would think and she decided to go with the safe option to avoid confrontation, imprisonment and being almost beaten to death due to prejudice. Even though this is what eventually happened.

Kara of course finds out Mon El is the Prince, but her reaction is VERY different to Jonn's. Kara is pissed off for all of 5 minutes through dinner with Mon Els parents and then she just doesnt mention it again. She lets it go, she's far more concerned about having to let him go. His status isn't important to her because it's not the major issue at the time. It's only when he returns that she confronts his lies but even then she doesn't focus on the Prince lie. It's all the other douche bag things he did that bother her, not who he was on Daxam.

Now, my issue with Mon El being the Prince was that he should have come clean when be decided to enter into a relationship with Kara. He knew what she thought of the Prince and he decided to withhold that information to suit himself so he could have Kara.

Now if Mgann had entered into a sexual relationship with Jonn and withheld who she was then I would condemn her for this to.

The difference is Mon El actively pursued Kara, withholding crucial info that may change her mind about sleeping with him. Whereas Mgann actively avoided bonding with Jonn out side of friendship.

Kara and Jonn weren't fans of being lied to, or rather having information withheld from them by friends and partners. Information that neither one was originally entitled to know. Kara only gained that entitlement when she started a relationship with Mon El.

Jonn I would argue was never entitled to Mganns identity, it only came up once he realised who she was. But before then it made no difference at all.

Is this sounding familiar to you? Let me elaborate. Kara and Lena!

Lena reacted badly when she found out that Kara was Supergirl because she had been lied to! Yes lied to, Kara lied to Lena. When you pretend to be two separate people with one person you are lying.

Lena wasn't entitled to know who Kara was in the beginning. Just like Kara wasn't entitled to know who Mon El was to begin with. Just like how Jonn wasn't entitled to know who Mgann was.

The entitlement comes when you start to build a relationship with someone.

Kara become entitled to know who Mon El was when she started a relationship with him. She was NOT happy when she found out she had been lied to. Her boyfriend had withheld who he really was from her. She didn't have time to be miffed for long because she had to yeet him into space.

Mgann tried to avoid a friendship with Jonn, not unlike Lena avoiding a friendship with Kara. But both persisted and pushed themselves on them. Had Mgann started to sleep with Jonn he would need to know she she was.

Now the difference is whereas Mgann and Mon El stuck to one Persona, Kara with Lena didn't! Kara chose to be those two people, later she continued to pretend to be two people, even when Lena made it clear she didn't trust Supergirl and basically didn't want Supergirl anywhere near her! Kara actively ignored Lena's right to not want Supergirl in her life, that's when she should have come clean or broken off the friendship. Continuing with this relationship/friendship whilst lying and ignoring the wishes of the other part is simply wrong.

Jonn finds out Mgann is a White Martian- beats her almost to death, locks her up illegally for the crime of being someone he doesn't like and tells her she will rot. He then leaves it until the last minute to bother saving her life and was going to be happy to her die. -- instantly forgiven by Mgann and the fans even though he absolutely doesn't deserve it and it's never spoken of again.

Kara finds out Mon El is actually a Prince she doesn't like. Is mad for all of 5 minutes because she doesn't have time to be mad any longer. After that he's instantly forgiven, his Prince status I don't think is ever mentioned again. He's forgiven by those fans who love him and it is forgotten about.

Lena finds out Kara lied to her. She isn't happy about it, she feels betrayed and doesn't want to to forgive her simply because she said she was sorry. Sorry doesn't erase the lies and the removal of her choice to know she was letting Supergirl into her private life. Or the that she was lied to by everyone else to. This is the ONLY thing ever remembered.

Mon El only really had a relationship with Kara and Winn. What does Winn care that Mon El was a Prince? Winn isn't effected by it. He had no prior opinions of Daxamites, he also isn't sleeping with Mon El who knows his identity would effect that.

The similarities are huge! The writers have been using the same storyline over and over again but the fans don't notice it because they are either "Team Karamel" "Team Supercorp" "Team Space dad can do no worng" or "Team I hate Lena no matter what even when other characters do the EXACT same things ".

The major difference between them is that with Kara WAS actively being the second identity with Lena. Mon El didn't dress up as a Prince and use this persona to interact with Kara or to be a douche to her. Mgann didn't turn into a white Martian and fight or be a douche to Jonn. Mgann did her best to stay away from Jonn and not become to involved with him.

Kara went to Lena as both personas. She was her best friend as Kara but went to her as someone different with a totally different personality. She turned on her and whether deserved or not was awful to the woman who was her best friend and Lena didn't know it as her best friend doing this.

Mon El and Mgann didnt use Kara and Jonns relationships with other people against them like Kara did.

Then when Lena was done with Supergirl Kara didn't respect her and went back to her as Kara. We're supposed to forgive all this because Kara is the "hero" and " didn't want to lost Lena",oh and she cried a bit.

Lena's reaction has been written to be different to the other two, even though the story Line is basically the same premise. What Lena is doing at the moment clearly isn't good, but her not wanting to be around Kara and not forgiving her is actually completely understandable and she doesnt have to forgive her.

Heck if the writing made any sense Mgann should NEVER of forgiven Jonn after the senseless beating almost to death.

Lena for all her faults never intentionally physically hurt Kara. She punched a VR version of her, Jonn beat the real Mgann! But Lena is bad and Jonn is good! Lena didn't fire the canons at Kara that was Hope, Lena even tried to stop her. Lena trapped Kara in the Fortress in a kryptonite forcefield but Kara showed no signs of pain when in it or even when she was released from it. What did Jonn do? Jonn beat Mgann almost to death! I will never stop repeating that! In addition he has deliberately used kryptonite on Kara more than once and stood by while she expressed now much pain she was in so she couldn't stop him murdering a white Martian.

But sure, Jonn is a wonderful person and Lena is the devil!

So in conclusion as this went on way longer than I intended. Mgann and Jonn are NOT in any way, shape or form the most well written or healthiest relationship on Supergirl! I would take James and Lena over Mgann and Jonn! James was an arsehole and a liar and couldn't stand women above him in any way but at least he and Lena didn't beat eachother almost to death!!

I'm beginning to realise more and more why I'm taking a break from this show.

Peace ✌

[princess-of-france]

I’m interested in your take on Angelo & Isabella w/ personality parallels (also just your opinion on Angelo especially tbh because I feel like I under-analyzed him when I read the play bc I was just. Well, found him scary :P) because obviously w/ your production you’re pretty deep in and I don’t see a lot of MFM content

Oof, this is a loaded question.

I’m happy to answer it, but I think I should make a disclaimer that—as you point out—my opinions of Angelo are skewed by my experiences as an actor inside a specific production. I’m also not an English scholar; I’m a theater artist. My lit crit skills are dodgy at best (as @lizbennett2013 knows all too well), and I don’t believe there is a single way to interpret any character in drama, especially when you’re dealing with heightened text. All I can do is give my honest appraisal of Angelo as I have encountered him dramaturgically through cutting our script, rehearsing Isabella, and seeing his iterations in other productions. 

So! Angelo and Isabella. Two sides of the same coin. I really think they are.

Let’s get the obvious stuff out of the way first: Angelo is scary. He just is. His sexually motivated exploitation of authority continues to be one of the most transcendent aspects of this ever-timely play. However you stage it, however you trim the text, whatever charismatic actor you slot into the role, Angelo is a capital-T-Terror and there’s no getting around it. Coercive, manipulative, hypocritical, ruthless, misogynistic, fraudulent, and cruel, he basically spends the entirety of MEASURE FOR MEASURE committing crimes and then soliloquizing about how painful it all is for his bargain-price conscience. You’ll never hear me say he doesn’t deserve his reputation as one of the most reprehensible tyrants in all of Shakespeare. 

But.

Of the three defining qualities I see in Angelo—ideological dogmatism, rhetorical prowess, and professional pride—there’s not one of them that is not blisteringly prominent in his antagonist, Isabella. Despite the fact that she’s a Catholic republican (“Butt out of people’s lives, Big Government; God will judge us when we die!”) and he’s a Puritan[ical] bureaucrat (“My job is to regulate people’s lives because purgatory is a myth!”), they have far more in common, cognitively, than not. Understand: I’m not saying that Angelo is not a piece of shit for how he behaves throughout course of the play. Nor am I implying that Isabella is somehow culpable for his masturbatory exercise of power over her. My girl has flaws, but she’s unquestionably the hero of M4M. What I’m trying to articulate is that Angelo and Isabella were born with the same psychological toolkit, which they elect to apply towards radically different purposes. (Think Parseltongue and “It is our choices that show who we truly are, far more than our abilities…”) This shared intellectual arsenal is what makes their pair of scenes in Act Two so iconic. We basically get to watch them play out Newton’s Third Law in real time: for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction… As far as rhetoric goes, neither Isabella nor Angelo can overwhelm the other. For every argument she makes in favor of mercy, he punctures it with legalism. For every judicial explication he provides, she dissolves it with morality. One minute, we’re nodding our heads along with Angelo as he explains why Christian values should have no place in a court of law; the next, we’re on our feet cheering for Isabella to convince him to factor human integrity into his role as a public servant. I can’t read 2.2 as anything other than the blueprint for every screenplay Aaron Sorkin ever wrote. It is the ultimate courtroom drama.

Just look at the play’s opening act. Angelo’s hasty promotion aside, both he and Isabella begin the story at the lowest rung of their respective vocational ladders: he’s a would-be Chief Justice, she’s a would-be Prioress. Deputy/nun. Politics/religion. Different spheres/same ambition. And, in like true zealots, both Angelo and Isabella express their commitment to their new duties in terms of self-flagellation:

“You may not so extenuate his offenseFor I have had such faults, but rather tell me,When I that censure him do so offend,Let mine own judgment pattern out my deathAnd nothing come in partial.”        (Angelo, II.i.29-33)

“And have you nuns no farther privileges?[…] I speak not as desiring more,But rather wishing a more strict restraintUpon the sisterhood, the votarists of Saint Clare.”        (Isabella, I.iv.1, 3-5)

It’s also worth mentioning that our first introduction to these characters features them scurrying along in the wake of an authority figure they respect. 

Act 1, Scene 1: Angelo wants to know the extent to which he can wield his law degree at the pleasure of the Duke of Vienna (the Duke himself!). 

Act 1, Scene 4: Isabella wants to know the extent to which she can practice self-denial for the glory of God and the approval of Mother Superior. 

They are both drawn to gravitas, to figures who represent order and authority. They are also drawn to discipline. He’s a non-drinking, non-smoking Precision. She’s a gluttony-abhorring Bride of Christ. Let the rest of the world eat cake. They will be eating their sins and purifying their souls, thank you very much.

At the risk of descending into the flaming pits of cliché, I’ll also touch on those three qualities I mentioned earlier, because who says the TPE (Three Paragraph Essay) is dead? 

First up: ideological dogmatism.

[Side note: I may be a crappy historian, but I do recognize there’s a historical paradigm at play in this text. Vienna needs to be a Catholic city and Angelo’s Protestantism needs to be allusive because Shakespeare presumably valued all his limbs and didn’t relish the idea of rotting in a Cheapside prison. If he’d lived in a “free press” kind of sociocultural context, he might have endowed his religious figures with a bit more Opinion. I digress.]

In the M4M-centered episode of Isaac Butler’s phenomenal podcast, “Lend Me Your Ears,” he interviews JohnPaul Spiro (Assistant Director of the School of Liberal Arts, Villanova University), who does a wonderfully unfussy job of summing up the Angelo/Isabella ideology parallel:

“In much the same way as our era is filled with political zealots—as well as, to a certain degree, religious zealots—what you’ll find when you look closer is there’s a small number of very loud people who are dominating the discourse. And a lot of people are in the middle and would rather not have to take sides. Claudio, he seems to be monogamous, he seems to want to just live a very simple life, he’s not really concerned with theological things. And when pressed on theological things, his point is: ‘I don’t really know. No one really knows what happen when you die, so I’m scared.’”

Because religious extremism lies at the heart of the rhetorical warfare between Angelo and Isabella, I think there’s a misconception that M4M is a Play About Religion. But the ONLY characters who canonically go to the mat about the finer points of theology are…wait for it…Angelo and Isabella. This is an early modern text brimming with religious figures (Sister Francisca, Friar Thomas, Friar Peter, even the phony Friar Lodowick), but not a single one of them gets on the pulpit about ANYTHING in the course of the entire play. Sister Francisca’s role consists of bemusedly listening to her youthful novitiate describe her desire for stricter prohibitions at the cloister. Friar Thomas, a sycophantic priest whose parish coffers are probably lined with Vincentio’s gold, spends his one onstage scene nodding his head sympathetically as the Duke over-explains why he is disguising himself as a monk. Friar Peter, the poor Jesuit roped into delivering the Duke’s messages, forgoes moralizing and instead uses his limited dialogue to try to help two disenfranchised women receive justice for their abuse. And Friar Lodowick, of course, is nothing but an alias for a cowardly sociopath who wants to run the world without being held accountable for his mistakes. Nothing evangelical about any of that.

But Angelo and Isabella? They can’t shut up about religion. 

Isabella wants Angelo to temper his punitive Weltanschauung with morality, ideology, Platonic ideals, metaphysics…in short, all of the intangibles that can’t be used as evidence in a court of law. 

“Why, all the souls that were were forfeit onceAnd He that might the vantage best have tookFound out the remedy. How would you be,If He, which is the top of judgment, shouldBut judge you as you are? O, think on thatAnd mercy then will breathe within your lips,Like man new made.”        (Isabella, II.ii.97-103)

Angelo, in turn, wants Isabella to recognize the futility of Catholicism as a proper tool for creating heaven on earth because Catholicism permits withdrawal from the world and the abdication of earthly responsibility (cf: nunnery). Instead, he argues, what God actually needs is for people to actively toil in their communities to criminalize, punish, and eradicate sin. 

“I show [pity] most of all when I show justice,For then I pity those I do not know,Which a dismissed offense would after gall,And do him right that—answering one foul wrong—Lives not to act another.”        (Angelo, II.ii.128-132)

They take up the two sides of a theological debate that predates Christianity: ethics vs. justice. And that conflict is itself inextricably tied to the timeless political debate of non-intervention vs. regulation. And the thing is: even when Angelo and Isabella realize the irreconcilability of their respective schools of thought, they KEEP ARGUING ABOUT IT because extremism is just that: extreme. Angelo and Isabella may be major players in M4M, but they represent the radical minority of their world. They are the “small group of very loud people” and literally everyone is a moderate next to them. Ideology, not desire, is the bedrock of their personhood. When confronted with a person of an uncompromisingly polar viewpoint, they behave as if it might be possible to change the viewpoint of that person because the alternative is to admit defeat. To tragic effect, they hold their ideals more sacred than human life. For Angelo, that ideal is the law (i.e. integrity of action). For Isabella, it’s chastity (i.e. integrity of the soul). They are dogmatic in their beliefs, inflexible in their opinions, and inalienably convinced of their own “rightness.” They are austere, incisive, independent, articulate, and sharp. They are disgusted by the depravity of the world around them and determined to transcend it. What differentiates them is the content of their convictions, but they rate the value of that conviction equally.

So, yes, M4M is a play acutely interested in how religion shapes the law and human behavior. But I would argue that it is really only about one thing: power.

Which brings me to rhetoric.

Angelo and Isabella are lawyers. Both of them. High-powered, quick-thinking, weakness-sniffing, self-righteous litigators. Sure, Isabella may not have the paperwork to prove it; she was conceived by an Englishman in the early 17th century. But much in the same way that it’s obvious to everyone with eyes that would-be nun Maria [von Trapp] is a born music teacher from the first scene of The Sound of Music, so is it evident from Isabella’s first moments onstage that she is a born lawyer. She was, quite simply, born to argue.

Consider her first scene onstage: in the nunnery, with Lucio and Francisca. Unlike the audience, Isabella doesn’t have empirical evidence of Lucio’s amorality and notorious womanizing. She doesn’t need it. She can smell it on him. And in six short lines, she wipes the mosaic-laced marble floor of the cathedral with his ass:

LUCIOCan you so stead meAs bring me to the sight of Isabella,A novice of this place and the fair sisterTo her unhappy brother, Claudio?

ISABELLAWhy her “unhappy brother”? Let me ask,The rather for I now must make you knowI am that Isabella, and his sister.

LUCIOGentle and fair, your brother kindly greets you.Not to be weary with you, he’s in prison.

ISABELLAWoe me, for what?

LUCIOFor that which, if myself might be his judge,He should receive his punishment in thanks:He hath got his friend with child.

ISABELLASir, make me not your story.

LUCIO‘Tis true.I would not, though ��tis my familiar sinWith maids to seem the lapwing and to jest,Tongue far from heart, play with all virgins so.I hold you as a thing enskied and sainted,By your renouncement an immortal spiritAnd to be talked with in sincerityAs with a saint.

ISABELLAYou do blaspheme the good in mocking me.

        (I.iv.18-40)

I’m not going to venture down the English professor’s rabbit hole of rhetorical devices and syntactical analysis—partly because there are thousands of scholars who have already done it better than I ever could (check out Claire McEachern and Julie Felise Dubiner!) and partly because I’ve been blathering for too long in general. But sufficed to say that three hallmarks of a good lawyer are as follows: 

The ability to seize and repurpose the language of one’s opponent (“Why her ‘unhappy brother?’”)

The ability to spot and sidestep landmines (“Sir, make me not your story.”)

The ability to redirect conversation (“You do blaspheme.”)

By that metric alone, Isabella’s performance here is worthy of the Harvard Law Review. 

And then, of course, two scenes later, she meets her match. 

A dear friend of mine, who is a first-year at Georgetown Law and basically the smartest person I’ve ever met, once told me: “The best and worst thing that can happen to a good lawyer is to meet another good lawyer with different ideas.” I do apologize for invoking Sorkin twice in one essay, but honestly: “The President likes smart people who disagree with him” (Leo, The West Wing, 2x05). It is a truth universally acknowledged that however infuriating it is for a highly intelligent person to debate with an equally intelligent person who disagrees with everything they stand for, it can also be unbelievably stimulating and monumentally entertaining to watch. (Hello, 50 million seasons of Law & Order.)

I’m now two weeks deep into rehearsals for M4M and I still get gobsmacked, daily, by the sheer majesty of Angelo’s and Isabella’s rhetoric. Theirs goes so far beyond the mental agility of anyone else in this play, or even—dare I say it—in Shakespeare’s canon. They are beyond intelligent. They are freaky genius kids with the kind of sanctimonious stubbornness that would be obnoxious if it weren’t so damn compelling. Between the two of them, between their two infamous scenes, they pull out every rhetorical trick in the book and play approximately seventeen unique rounds of intellectual checkers. (I say checkers because chess is too slow for them. If you want chilly brinksmanship, check out the Roman plays. Angelo and Isabella have agendas and professional pride on the line. Time is of the essence.)

ISABELLAI do think that you might pardon him,And neither heaven nor man grieve at the mercy.

ANGELOI will not do it.

ISABELLABut can you, if you would?

ANGELOLook, what I cannot, that I will not do.

ISABELLABut might you do it, and do the world no wrongIf so your heart were touched with that remorseAs mine is to him?

ANGELOHe’s sentenced. ‘Tis too late.

ISABELLA“Too late”? Why, no. I, that do speak a word,Might call it back again.

        (II.ii.67-78 [italics are mine])

Things get even more complicated when they start moving into those same theoretical marshes I described earlier:

“If he had been as you, and you as he,You would have slipped like him, but he like youWould not have been so stern.”        (Isabella, II.ii.84-86)

“The law hath not been dead, though it hath slept.Those many had not dared to do that evilIf the first that did th’ edict infringeHad answered for his deed. Now ‘tis awake…”        (Angelo, II.ii.117-120)

ENOUGH WITH THE METAPHORS ALREADY. CLAUDIO IS ON DEATH ROW.

And even when they finally, finally get to the point, they remain at an impasse:

ISABELLAYet show some pity.

ANGELOI show it most when I show justice.

        (II.ii.127-128)

Which causes Isabella essentially to lose all sense of self-awareness and control because goddam it, never once in her entire life has she met a person she couldn’t out-argue, who the fuck does this deputy think he is, this was supposed to be a simple mission and she’s been standing in this room for ten minutes and he’s still siTTING THERE SMILING AT HER WHAT THE F—

“So you must be the first that gives this sentence,And he that suffers. O, it is excellentTo have a giant’s strength, but it is tyrannousTo use it like a giant[…]Could great men thunderAs Jove himself does, Jove would never be quiet,For every pelting, petty officerWould use his heaven for thunder,Nothing but thunder. Merciful heaven,Thou rather with thy sharp and sulfurous boltSplits the un-wedgeable and gnarlèd oakThan the soft myrtle. But man, proud man,Dressed in a little brief authority,Most ignorant of what he’s most assured,His glassy essence like an angry apePlays such fantastic tricks before high heavenAs makes the angels weep, who with our spleensWould all themselves laugh mortal.”        (Isabella, II.ii.134-152)

Which causes ANGELO to lose all self-awareness and control because goddam it, never once in his entire life has he met a person he couldn’t out-argue, who the fuck does this nun think she is, this was supposed to be a simple smackdown and she’s been standing in this room for ten minutes and he’s still waiting for her to admit defeat and oh God oh no oh no oh no why can’t he look away from her face, what the fuck is happening what the F—

ANGELOWHY DO YOU PUT THESE SAYINGS UPON ME?

ISABELLABecause authority, though it err like others,Hath yet a kind of medicine in itselfThat skins the vice o’ th’ top. Go to your bosom,Knock there, and ask your heart what it doth knowThat’s like my brother’s fault. If it confessA natural guiltiness such as is his,Let it not sound a thought upon your tongueAgainst my brother’s life.

ANGELO, asideShe speaks and ‘tis such senseThat my sense breeds with it.

        (II.ii.163-173)

Finally, Angelo gets her to leave and faces the music. My tremendous co-actor, Jude Van der Voorde, always slays this soliloquy.

“What’s this, what’s this? Is this her fault or mine?The tempter or the tempted, who sins most, ha?Not she; nor doth she tempt, but it is IThat, lying by the violet in the sun,Do as the carrion does, not as the flower,Corrupt with virtuous season.”        (Angelo, II.iv.199-204)

[Non sequitur: Jude is the kind of actor actors dream of acting with. He’s always got at least one trick up his sleeve, so my Isabella is constantly second-guessing herself around him. And he does the “sleazy wunderkind act” with a panache rivaling BJ Novak’s in Season 4 of The Office. He’s also one of the funniest people I’ve ever met. Kids, don’t be Method. Make friends with your fellow actors. Leave the emotions onstage and go get a midnight pizza. You will be so much happier.]

With regards to the M4M narrative, we all know what happens next, although it takes an agonizing 175 lines of text in 2.4 before Shakespeare levels off and gives us the canonical threat:

“Redeem thy brotherBy yielding up thy body to my will,Or else he must not only die the death,But thy unkindness shall his death draw outTo lingering sufferance. Answer me tomorrowOr by the affection that now guides me mostI’ll prove a tyrant to him. As for you:Say what you can, my false o’erweighs your true.”        (Angelo, II.iv.177-184)

What precedes this is the kind of tension-groaning, hair-splitting, goosebump-raising rhetorical tarantella that television writers today spend their entire careers trying to emulate. Isabella plays the fool for as long as she possibly can…

ANGELONay, but hear me.Your sense pursues not mine. Either you are ignorantOr seem so, crafty, and that’s not good.

ISABELLALet me be ignorant, and in nothing goodBut graciously to know I am no better.

        (II.iv.79-83)

…but eventually Angelo forces her hand and she has to deflect his onslaught with the sleek diplomacy of a kidnapping victim.

ISABELLABetter it were a brother died at onceThan that a sister, by redeeming him,Should die forever.

ANGELOWere not you then as cruel as the sentenceThat you have slandered so?

ISABELLAIgnomy in ransom and free pardonAre of two houses. Lawful mercyIs nothing kin to foul redemption.

ANGELOYou seemed of late to make the law a tyrant,And rather proved the sliding of your brotherA merriment than a vice.

ISABELLAO, pardon me, my lord. It oft falls out,To have what we would have, we speak not what we mean.I something do excuse the thing I hateFor his advantage that I dearly love.

        (II.iv.114-128)

Remember when I said that Angelo and Isabella are alike in that they are inalienably convinced of their own “rightness”? That still holds true. But now Angelo, without warning, has moved beyond the conceits of debate and is taking Isabella’s rhetorical arguments from 2.2 at literal face value in order to trip her up. He’s brought ideology crashing down to earth and introduced their physical relationship into the conversation…again, without warning and very much without her consent. And she has to figure out a way to back-peddle on her words without yielding defeat of the argument. It is nigh impossible. And I bring it up because guess who gets trapped in the exact same situation three short acts later?

LUCIOCome, sir; come, sir; come, sir; foh, sir! Why, you bald-pated, lying rascal, you must be hooded, must you? Show your knave’s visage, with a pox to you! Show your sheep-biting face, and be hanged an hour! Will ‘t not off?

        (LUCIO pulls off the friar’s hood and reveals the DUKE.)

DUKEThou art the first knave that e’er made’st a duke.—First, Provost, let me bail these gentle three.—Sneak not away, sir, for the friar and youMust have a word anon.—Lay hold on him.

LUCIOThis may prove worse than hanging.

DUKEWhat you have spoke I pardon. Sit you down.We’ll borrow place of him.       (to Angelo)Sir, by your leave.Hast thou or word, or wit, or impudenceThat yet can do thee office? If thou hast,Rely upon it till my tale be heardAnd hold no longer out.

ANGELOO my dread lord,I should be guiltier than my guiltinessTo think I can be undiscernible,When I perceive your Grace, like power divine,Hath looked upon my passes.         (V.i.395-421)

Game, set, match.

As for ego… Do I really need to talk about professional pride? I don’t think so. It’s Angelo and Isabella. Pride leaks out of every virtually every line they speak in this play. Pride in their conviction, pride in their moral righteousness, pride in their intellect, pride in their ability to judge the world with clarity (or whatever). Angelo actually admits it out loud to us in perhaps his most famous soliloquy, because the little fucker has a lot more Catholic guilt about lusting after a novitiate nun than his Protestant heart would like to admit:

“The state whereon I studiedIs, like a good thing being often read,Grown sere and tedious. Yea, my gravity,Wherein—let no man hear me���I take pride,Could I with boot change for an idle plumeWhich the air beats for vain.”        (Angelo, II.iv.7-15)

And even though Isabella could easily be the poster child for Christian piety, she’s so damn proud of her own humility that she occasionally threatens to void it altogether. 

ANGELOWhat would you do?

ISABELLAAs much for my poor brother as myself.That is, were I under the terms of death,Th’ impression of keen whips I’d wear as rubiesAnd strip myself to death as to a bedThat longing have been sick for, ere I’d yieldMy body up to shame.

        (II.iv.107-111)

Look at me, Angelo. Look at this body. It’s mine. Mine and God’s. I see what you’re doing, I know where you’re trying to go. And it is never. going. to happen.

Two weeks into rehearsal and I’m still not sure I’m convincing in my delivery of these lines. I’ve watched every filmed production of M4M I can get my hands on, and it’s no help. I just don’t know what to make of this. Scholars disagree virulently about these lines, but also…scholars aren’t actors, you know? I find myself questioning everything every time I get to this passage. Is Isabella actually a virgin? I’m not sure. Chastity and virginity aren’t actually the same thing and Isabella, for all her idealism, is more worldly than many of her ingenue brethren. One thing is for sure: she’s flushed with self-righteousness when she speaks these words. Angelo may be a haughty son of a bitch, but so is she, so is she, so is she.

Ugh, these characters. I love them so much. I hate Angelo, I do. I also love him. And God help me I love Isabella. They’re dumpster fires of human conviction and I’m so grateful to Shakespeare for giving us their story and for understanding four hundred fucking years ago, that this, THIS is the pinnacle of hell in the female experience: “Who would believe thee, Isabel?”

#MeToo

Thank you, Will. Thank you.

I feel like I should apologize for the length of this reply, but I’ve had so much freaking fun that I also don’t feel apologetic. Thank you for this amazing question! Hope you’re doing well! xx Claire

Tagging @malvoliowithin @measureformeasure @harry-leroy @suits-of-woe

[anestheticx]

Long story short THIS is why I almost died two years ago. This can fuck right off. What medication I use and why for my reproductive health is my business. Limiting what medication types people can take for contraception harms people, and it shouldn’t be anyone’s fucking choice but mine above all and my doctors. Making it financially difficult for people to get medication that improves their health and lives is disgusting. It was almost deadly in my case, and I’m not alone.

(*My full story is below the article for more backstory if you’re interested...)

So, how did a law like this almost kill me? I’ll explain. But first...

FUCK ANYONE, yes anyone, who thinks abortion should be illegal. Your religious bullshit opinions are literally impending on my healthcare and you have zero right to do so. That’s between my doctor and I. Don’t believe in abortion? Those are your BELIEFS. I’m not a Christian and we don’t share the same beliefs, we never will. Not everyone is Christian. If Christians want to take a religious stance then let’s look at another religion. Jewish religion says life does not start until a fetus takes their first breath. If the life of a mother is put in danger for a pregnancy, that is possible murder. Why are Christians taking away freedom of religion for Jews?

Don’t like abortion? Don’t have one. You are not my medical professional. You do not own others. So. Why do people medically require #ABORTION? Birth control fails. Mine failed. This leads me to how I almost bled to death due to someone passing a law that allowed my insurer to deny me medication that worked with my body chemistry.

I had an ectopic pregnancy due to my IUD ceasing to functio First of all fuck anyone, yes anyone, who thinks abortion should be illegal. Your religious bullshit opinions are literally impending on my healthcare and you have zero right to do so. That’s between my doctor and I. Don’t believe in abortion? Those are your BELIEFS. I’m not a Christian and we don’t share the same beliefs, we never will. Not everyone is Christian. If Christians want to take a religious sta. VFX nd, let’s look at another religion. Jewish religion says life does not start until a fetus takes their first breath. If the life of a mother is put in danger for a pregnancy, that is possible murder. Why are Christians taking away freedom of religion for Jews?

Don’t like abortion? Don’t have one. You are not my medical professional. You do not own others. So. Why do people medically require #ABORTION? Birth control fails. Mine failed. I had an ectopic pregnancy due to my IUD ceasing to function. I didn’t even want the IUD but my insurer refused to cover the only birth control that worked for me for 10 years due to some bullshit law. I fought with my insurer for months until I couldn’t physically or mentally deal with it anymore. They literally told my doctor and I what THEY thought was medically best for me. I couldn’t afford the medication I actually needed or wanted. What United Healthcare said was “best” for me almost killed me. Fuck them. It happens all the time to people. So it goes, I had to get the ectopic removed or I would bleed to death. In many of these new ludicrous anti-choice laws they’re claiming I would be a murderer. Ectopic pregnancies cannot be “replanted” and I don’t regret saving my life. AGAIN - Ectopic pregnancies cannot be “replanted” and I don’t regret saving my life. Rape, incest and assault happens unfortunately also, and I’m not normalizing this because I think we should guillotine those guilty of these crimes but currently in this culture it happens. A lot 🤬.‪ We let rapists off the hook for attacking women, this culture makes excuses for them. They assault adults and children, and now certain states are going to punish those victims by forcibly making them give birth to their rapists child? They even give the rapists rights to the child - WHEN THE RAPIST SHOULD BE IN FUCKING JAIL. What in the ever loving fuck is wrong with this country? Oh! It’s a misogynistic cesspool. Forced birth is abhorrent and medieval in concept. Parenthood should be consensual. Sex is not consent to pregnancy. We have the medical technology to attempt to control when we want to become parents. This technology isn’t fool proof, but it’s available because people are going to continue to have sex (hopefully consensually). You can have “religious views” about it all you want. People will have sex. Not only is this not a Christofascist nation (let’s hope) and not everyone shares your religion but SEX IS GOING TO HAPPEN. That being sad, people don’t have sex souly to make a family. ITS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE.

Pro life people don’t want people getting abortions yet they want to criminalize birth control? That’s exactly what’s in the legislation in Ohio, Georgia, Alabama, etc....This is why pro life agendas are always about controlling women, they always involve this kind of bullshit. It’s NEVER about healthcare or “life” for them, their agendas are anti sex and pro forced birth and it’s painfully obvious.

A fetus does not have more bodily autonomy than the pregnant person. Outlawing abortion doesn’t end abortion, it only results in “back alley” procedures that end up killing adults. Pro-Life opinions are based off of misogynistic garbage. Even if you ban abortions, abortion procedures don’t go away. Why do you think it was legalized? Banning it only results in adults dying from botched back alley procedures. “Pro-lifers” don’t care. I don’t have the right to tell men what to do physically with their bodies. I also wouldn’t know what would be best for them personally. “Oh Joe, don’t get that vasectomy! It’s not God’s plan! You’re ending millions of potential lives” 😑🙄

I also hate people who reluctantly say they’re okay wth abortions but stipulate “not late term abortions!” NEWS FLASH: Nobody spends eight months being pregnant and then wakes up one day like “nah nvm let’s end this.” People getting late term abortions WANTED the baby. They picked out baby outfits, they made a list of names. They’re getting an abortion at eight months because of a medical emergency and they HAVE TO. Late term abortions occur because the baby is dying, dead or killing them. Forcing people to endure natural birth and labor in these situations is not only ignorant and cruel but deadly.

Forcing anyone into parenthood is cruel and ignorant also, but late term abortions have so much false information surrounding them. You're not improving health care when you defund Planned Parenthood and deny millions of women their provider of health care. You’re not improving healthcare when you deny the fact that people will seek out and receive abortions no matter what. The women, and the people in general, of America deserve better than others, who care nothing for their autonomy or their personal choices, or their health, deciding the future of their health care.

AGAIN let me make this clear that banning abortion does not reduce abortion rates at all. When you create an environment that makes abortion services either unaffordable or unobtainable under suitable medical professionals, people still find ways to get them. When you outlaw, or diminish abortion services, the only thing you accomplish is putting pregnant adults at risk of serious harm. You help nothing. Parenthood should be consensual, and a choice. You cannot make parental decisions for other human beings. Adult human beings are not incubators. Abortion does not go away simply because you make it unsafe.

❤️ALSO I got an abortion and I DONT REGRET it at all. I’m not ashamed of it either. I became pregnant and I absolutely didn’t want a fucking kid. It was 110% the right choice for me. You don’t know how that feels and you don’t get to make those choices for others. Die mad. #ProChoice #AbortionIsHealthcare

[shadowfromthestarlight]

Today concludes “Second Chance Month,” which highlighted efforts to help the formerly incarcerated reintegrate into society. Unfortunately, we still have a long way to go, and I think deep-seated attitudes about good, evil, revenge, and punishment are a significant part of the problem. What I’m about to say applies to some degree to sentencing and prison reform, as well, but the main focus is on what happens afterwards. 

Many Americans welcome criminal justice reform. Some are now going out of their way to hire the formerly incarcerated. Success stories from the formerly incarcerated abound. I’m aware this is happening, and it’s great. But it’s not the norm yet. And, disturbingly, it seems like whenever I see some sort of article about barriers to employment (or myriad other aspects of a safe, happy, productive life) for people with criminal records, there’s at least one comment to the effect of, “Oh, well, don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.” But, er, these people did do their time, and they’re still being punished, and a lot of us don’t care – that’s the problem. Why? It’s partially due to some people’s beliefs about punishment: that the primary purpose of the criminal justice system is to punish people who deserve to suffer for their wrongdoing, not to merely keep the public safe or to rehabilitate criminals. While punishment has always been one theory of imprisonment, it doesn’t make a great deal of sense when applied to what happens after prison. Why should we even let people out of prison if we’re not going to let them live decent lives? If the entire point of a prison sentence is for them to suffer, shouldn’t we see more life sentences? Or at least, shouldn’t all the consequences of a criminal record be laid out in the sentence? The fact that we don’t send all convicted felons to prison for life or to death row, and don’t include in the sentence something like “You shall face barriers to housing, licensing, and employment for life,” suggests that the point of incarceration is not only to hurt people who have commit crimes.

What’s the point of paying your debt to society if society never forgives the loan? - Mike Rowe

Not allowing the formerly incarcerated to live their lives as normal citizens is irrational. Many point out that recidivism is a problem for people who can’t get stable jobs and reconnect to the larger community. Besides that, the more people gaining new skills, getting jobs, and building careers, the better it is for society. It’s pretty stupid to have a subset of the population not allowed to reach their full potential and improve the world. That’s harming society as a whole. What if we’re talking about people who did really bad things, not just get caught with some marijuana? Well, they’re out. You may wish they weren’t, but let’s deal with the reality that they’re out in the most productive way possible. I don’t think giving someone another chance to make something of themselves is denying any harm they did. It’s just not letting what did years ago hold them back from contributing to society in the here and now. In the long run, we all benefit from that. Also, sometimes it’s important to put your own feelings about a person or their actions aside. Just because you could never forgive a particular person for their crime doesn’t mean nobody else can. Just because you can’t look past what they did doesn’t mean we as a society can’t. What about the victims? Revenge for the victims is still too big a part of how we think about punishing criminals (in cases of crimes with individual victims). This is a problem because we should be more focused on community safety and possible rehabilitation of perpetrators. It also affects how we think the formerly incarcerated should be treated down the road. To let someone back into society after hurting another person can be seen as an insult to their victim. Sometimes I even hear that people who want criminal justice reform don’t care about victims and just like criminals. But it’s not about liking criminals. It’s not about ignoring victims (and vengeance and punishment aren’t really what’s best for victims anyway). It’s about doing the most logical thing for the community and the country. Curiously, in murder cases, our concern for the victim is very high. But the victim is dead. The victim cannot be hurt by a sentence that isn’t harsh enough. The victim doesn’t care. The victim does not “finally rest in peace” once the murderer is found and severely punished. The victim does not feel re-victimized from the grave if the killer gets off, gets released from prison, or reenters society with a second chance. That’s actually a very disturbing view on life and death. The victim could be resting until the resurrection at the end of the world, at peace in heaven, journeying through another realm of existence, living on this planet again as a different person, or dead and never to rise again – but what worldview says she’s hovering around waiting to watch the killer suffer? A murder victim might have loved ones who are also victimized by her death. But does punishment really help them, either? It’s not like they get to directly participate in the killer’s punishment. Isn’t knowing what happened to their loved one and moving on with their lives while preserving their loved one’s memory what they really need? And perhaps, if they so choose, to face the killer and explain how he’s hurt them? The sentence itself isn’t what’s going to get them to move on. Besides, to circle back to the larger point, rehabilitating those who can be rehabilitated and getting them back into society is a higher priority than catering to a few people’s anger. Good and Evil Sometimes differences in opinions on crime and punishment come down to views on good and evil. There are people who believe that good and evil are real and can be objectively identified, and there are those who think crime is attributable to environmental and societal factors and has little to do with “evil.” And then there are disagreements among those who believe in a true and objective “good and evil” about what should be done to promote good and oppose evil. I think promoting criminal justice reform and second chances for people getting out of prison is an excellent way to promote good. Sorry, but I don’t believe that the desire to punish makes you a better person than one who doesn’t have such a desire. I don’t believe virtue signaling about how you believe a certain criminal deserves the death penalty or deserves to suffer makes you a good person. You can help people who did bad things change, become better people, and do something productive with their lives, and that’s standing on the side of good, too. That’s mitigating the effect of evil in our world. That’s turning something negative into something positive. That’s not letting evil win. That’s letting love, forgiveness, open-mindedness, and just pure reason win. There’s an emotionally compelling quote from conservative writer Daniel Greenfield that says, “Good means resisting evil. Good means fighting evil. Good means hating evil.” And I think that’s what so many people’s issues with criminal justice reform and second chances are about, deep down. I also think it’s got good and evil mixed up. As a believer in the Abrahamic God, Greenfield believes that in the beginning, there was only good. Evil rebelled against good. Evil opposed good. Good preexisted evil. Good does not exist as a reaction to evil. It’s the other way around. Sometimes people commit crimes that make us angry. Sometimes particular crimes get us really riled up. But if in your anger you lose sight of justice, truth, and reason, you’re not fighting for the good side. Being a good person is about much more than getting angry at bad people. Or at good people who did bad things. Or at formerly bad people who have changed and become good people. Let People Change I don’t know why lately we’re seeing a resistance to simply letting people change. Nowadays, so many of us want to dig up people’s past sins and call them out, even when they’re completely different people today. But helping the formerly incarcerated depends on letting people change. There are always going to be people coming out of prison who actually once did something very wrong – but they’re truly sorry and they want to live a different sort of life. Let them! Acknowledging that someone’s changed isn’t saying their crime doesn’t matter. It’s not saying victims don’t matter. It’s not favoring criminals. It’s not saying law and order doesn’t matter. It’s about dealing with the here and now and not remaining stuck in the past. It’s about making the best of a bad situation. It’s about not letting mistakes define someone – or any of us! – forever. It’s about benefiting entire communities by reintegrating people who are ready to contribute. If enough people understand this, I think there’s hope for comprehensive reform and better lives for the formerly incarcerated around the country.

[chungledown-bimothy]

Trust Me: Chapter 7

Hey look! A timely update! Consider it a preemptive apology to everyone who loves Logan. 

Chapter 1 Chapter 6 AO3 Chapter 8

Warnings: GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OF TORTURE and JD is a high schooler. It’s relatively short, and marked by ******* before and after. But it’s for sure there. Oh, and some swearing.

Author’s Note: The German translates to “I speak German too, and I know you killed them.”

Word Count: 2190

Tag List: @ccecode​ @emo-sanders-sides-loving-unicorn​ @ren-allen​ @ilovemygaydad​ @bloodropsblog​ @funsizedgremlin​ @raygelkitty​ @roxiefox23​ @thomasthesandersengine​ @spookyingarbageisland​ @band-be-boss-blog​

15 minutes passed before Logan broke the silence. "I understand that two members of the football team committed suicide two weeks ago. I know that you are new to the school, but it must be difficult nonetheless."

"Not really. I bounce around so much, I don't bother learning names or faces, let alone care about anyone. Besides, I heard they did it because they were gay and too homophobic to deal with it. No major loss there, in my opinion."

"That is… an interesting perspective, JD. I am almost afraid to ask about your thoughts on Heather Chandler's death."

"Sometimes even the shiniest of ivory towers are prisons, I suppose. One has to wonder, though, how much the bullying rate has dropped since she kicked the bucket. I mean, sure, one of the other Heathers is trying to take her place, but even she knows that she'll never measure up." He looked out the window and then back to Logan. "Hang on, I never told you where I live."

"I know where I'm going. What do you know about how Heather, Kurt, and Ram died?"

"If you say so," JD began, hesitantly. "Only what everyone knows. Heather drank drain cleaner, and Kurt and Ram shot each other. I heard someone saying that they used some special kind of bullets called ich lüge."

"Ich spreche auch Deutsch und ich weiß dass Sie sie umgebracht haben."

"H- how could you possibly know that? No one knows that. I was careful. I was perfect."

"Obviously, you were not. If you were truly careful, you would not have said anything about the bullets. You wanted to applaud yourself for being so much smarter than everyone else. You also would not have chosen such an emotionally-driven accomplice. I understand the appeal. We have a lot in common, JD. We both understand that emotion and personal attachments are nothing more than hindrances. But there is that one person who changes all of that. Who makes you want to know how to feel things. But ultimately, they will always choose their emotions over us. I was not completely certain that you killed them until you bragged about the bullets. Killing people who had been cruel towards your person, Miss Sawyer, aroused my suspicions. Rule number one of getting away with murder: only kill people to whom you are not linked."

"It's you, isn't it? The killer everyone's talking about. The Park Puzzler."

"That is the first honest and correct thing you have said all evening." Logan paused, considering JD's words. "Is that really what they are calling us? Disappointing, but not surprising. The best and brightest certainly do not go into journalism."

"You aren't gonna kill me. You said yourself, the first rule of getting away with it is killing strangers." Logan was filled with a savage glee, seeing the terror in his student's eyes, his desperate attempt to save himself.

"In most circumstances, yes, killing you would be a mistake. However, your father is known for leaving town and taking you with him unexpectedly. You have attended 10 high schools, I believe, and it is your senior year? Everyone knows that the killer is punishing people for their unpunished crimes, and how would a simple teacher know what you did? Especially one who does not interact with other teachers, let alone students. No one was around when you got in my car. No one has ever seen us interact outside of the rare occasions you showed up to my class." He sighed when he saw JD reach for the door handle. "Don't be stupid- there is no point in trying to escape. I engaged the child-lock this morning. You cannot open the door from the inside, and breaking through the window is difficult with only a fist for exceptionally strong individuals. Looking at you, I estimate that you have slightly below average upper body strength for an 18-year-old male."

"Well that's awfully rude, teach. So, I'm gonna die. Why? Why not just turn me over to the cops?"

"You are a young, white man who, when you want to, can be quite charismatic. The American justice system is skewed to protect people like you. Even that is predicated on the assumption that a prosecutor would take the case, which is unlikely, given how well you were able to convince everyone that they were suicides. Your kills were cold-blooded with very little motive outside of bloodlust, and you left very little to no evidence. Truthfully, I am rather impressed."

"And we're back to my question. Why do I have to die for doing such good work? You're a killer too. Why should I die, when you're no better than I am? If the papers are accurate, killing me will even up our body counts, so you aren't even better than me on that front."

"The quality of your work was admirable, but it was still wrong. You took three innocent lives, simply because you wanted to. I only kill those whose crimes go unpunished by the corrupt justice system. We are both killers, but my crusade is a righteous one."

"I still don't buy it. I trade in half-truths, straight-up lies, and manipulation, teach, and there's more to it than you're saying. You're gonna kill me anyway, and clearly we aren't to wherever it is you're taking me to do the job. Why not pass the time with a good old-fashioned villain monologue?"

"All will be revealed in due time. I have been reliably informed that people tend to dislike 'spoilers'."

"You're absolutely nuts. You know that, right? You're even more delusional than I am. And that's my self-harm of choice is fucking Slurpees."

"I find it interesting that you truly believe that your obsession with what is colloquially known as 'brain freeze' is less sane than your manipulation of Veronica Sawyer and the cold-blooded murders of your peers."

"Peers? That's bullshit. They were, at best, vapid instruments of the system."

"And for that, they deserved death?"

JD shrugged. "I would do anything to protect Veronica from assholes like that."

"As I would do anything to protect my sibling from a world that turns a blind eye to the crimes of assholes like you. We are at an ideological impasse. That impasse, however, is rendered irrelevant by my superior intellect. Ah, here we are." Before JD could respond, Logan reached across the car and emptied a syringe into his arm.

-

The first thing JD noticed when he came to was the rope around his wrists tying him to a chair. Struggling revealed that his ankles were bound as well, and the chair was bolted to the ground. He was surprised to find that he wasn't gagged. Looking around, he reasoned he could only be in a warehouse, and it was empty except for him and a video camera. He continued to struggle against his restraints, barely noticing when the rope burn broke his skin. He was also hungry, and his mouth felt like sandpaper.

"How long was I out?" JD croaked, unsure if anyone was there.

"Approximately eighteen hours. It is 2pm on Saturday." JD jumped, not expecting Logan's voice to be so close behind him. "You are in luck. Normally, Patton would take a turn with you before I do anything, but they are… otherwise occupied. You should thank me- you will be useless to them once I have started with you, let alone finished. I am saving you potentially weeks of agony. The last one took a week and a half to learn his lesson. Only then could I begin my experiments."

"Experiments? What the fuck are you going to do to me?"

"As many things as you can endure."

"Why? Why not just kill me and get it over with? Satisfy your 'righteous crusade' without wasting time."

"And waste the opportunity to study how much the human body can endure? I think not. In all honesty, I care about the cause far less than Patton does. As I said, you will be spared their particular brand of torture, both physical and mental. I can only imagine what they'd do to you, given the fact that you murdered children, despite being a child yourself."

"We were all 18. Technically not children. Why, may I ask, won't I have the pleasure of making their acquaintance? They sound absolutely delightful."

"I am not surprised that your listening skills are subpar. They have other business to attend to."

"They're with someone, aren't they? That's why you've got such a big bug up your ass about emotional attachments and me and Veronica. It's rebellious child 101, teach. Lash out to get their attention. You aren't the center of their universe any more, and it's eating you alive." Logan flinched, and JD smirked; he'd hit his mark.

"Those who speak of what they know find too late that prudent silence is wise. This is doubly true for children who know nothing." He raised a hand, cutting JD off. "No more talking. Feel free to scream, however. Your responses will be recorded on that camera," he pointed, "and further analyzed later. I tend to get… distracted in the moment."

Logan briefly returned to the shadows of the warehouse before returning with a tank that seemed to be smoking. "This, JD, is liquid nitrogen. You mentioned your fondness for cold-induced pain. Let us see how you feel about it in the extreme. And remember, this is for posterity, so be honest."

****************************

He put on thick gloves and an apron before opening the lid and pulling out a ladle full of liquid nitrogen. Very carefully, he stepped forward and slowly emptied the ladle onto JD's arm.

The first drops hit JD's skin with a sizzle, causing JD to flinch. That flinch quickly turned into convulsions and a scream he didn't know he was capable of making when the stream grew thicker. It burned. Every second was more painful than the last. He was on the edge of unconsciousness when the agony stopped getting worse- Logan had stopped pouring. JD didn't know how long he sat there, face contorted with pain, before he was able to open his eyes and look at his arm. He immediately wished he hadn't. From wrist to elbow, his arm was mostly violently red and blistered. What truly horrified him, however, were the areas that weren't red at all, but were an unnatural grayish-yellow.

***************************

"That is third degree frostbite. Those uniquely discolored areas should turn black over the course of our time together." JD tried to scream, to swear, to cry, but he couldn't. He was hit with a wave of dizziness and nausea when he tried to open his mouth. "Ah yes, that would be the shock setting in. Breathe with me, JD. In for four, hold for seven, out for eight." Logan led him through the breathing exercise until he returned to a slightly more normal temperature. "Well done. Keep focusing on your breathing; I will be right back with some first aid."

"Wh- why bother?" JD asked when Logan returned without his gloves and apron, carrying a first aid kit. "Why not let me die from this?"

Logan gently began heating the frostbite with a warm, wet towel before responding. "There are more experiments to run. Even if this was the only one I had planned for you, seeing how it heals is a crucial part of the process. My goal isn't killing you. My goal is observing how the human body reacts to and recovers from various extreme stimuli. Letting you die would be extremely counterproductive. For now, at least." Logan began wrapping JD's arm with bandages. "There we go. That should be adequate to keep you alive and will hopefully prevent gangrene. The point is to study frostbite, not gangrene."

"Why thank you." JD smirked the best he could, but even he knew that it was, at best, a pitiful attempt.

"You certainly are strong, JD. Most people would not dare being sarcastic in the face of their torturer. Drink this." Logan demanded, holding a water bottle to his lips. "Good. I suggest you get comfortable. I will be back tomorrow to change your bandages and check on you. Can't have you dying before I allow it."

-

Sunday

"Oh Logan, he's absolutely wonderful. He's so smart, kind, and handsome. He didn't even blink when he learned my pronouns! And he said the most beautiful things about Monet and Impressionism. Aahh, I wish I could stay and tell you all about it and him, but I have to spend some time at the coffee shop- between our work and Virgil, I haven't spent nearly enough time there!" Patton got to the door before turning around. "Oh, and I'd love to know what you were up to yesterday- I called, but you didn't answer or call me back. That's why I had to come check on you before going to work. I'll be back around eight tonight, okay? See you then!" Patton was out the door before Logan could respond. Eleven hours. Plenty of time to tend to JD and come up with a convincing lie.

[nemirutami]

I'd like to know literally everything about Goro in this AU. What's he planning, what's wrong with his hands? /everything/

I can’t speak for straylize bc our two Akechi’s are very different, so I can’t answer your “hands” question since that’s strictly in her version of the AU. I can answer what my Akechi will do (spoilers tho) and some of his backstory. Tbh getting questions like this helps from writing long descriptions on art.

I’m going to ramble for a while bc when else is anyone rlly gonna ask me for Akechi content.

My Akechi ran away from a different region at a young age (reasons unknown) to look for a new home. A palace guard from the Arisato kingdom found him, felt sorry for him, and asked the king if he could take care of him. The king basically agreed only on the condition that 1) He be raised/groomed to serve the Arisatos and 2) He should be taught his place early on so he doesn’t break rules or overstep boundaries (since he was raised outside the kingdom prior to this and they’ve got no clue where he’s actually from).

Since my Akechi arrived at the palace when he was young, he got to grow up around Akira and Minato (although, not exactly to the same extent Akira and Minato did giving their relationship as prince and future retainer). He got to see the young nobles spend time at the palace (as a kid, he was curious when there were other kids around and wanted to hang out, understandably?) but there was always a kid in the mix that didn’t look like he belonged with the nobles, and that was Akira. It gave Akechi a sense of hope that, maybe, he’d make friends with Minato and Akira? And the other kids? Regardless of their ranks? Because Akira looked like an outsider compared to the prince, and yet he was the closest to the prince? 

Minato and Akechi actually bump into each other during one of these meet ups because Minato runs off to steal popsicles for everyone from the pantry (Akira dared him jokingly and he took it seriously) and Akechi as a young child starts mouthing apologies and remorse over “I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have spied on you!” and Minato just “…” because man, Akechi got so scared of being penalized for peeking that he just ran his mouth for a straight minute. Minato offers him a popsicle before the guards interrupt them. That’s the only interaction he’s ever had with the young prince, and it’s at that early age. So, overall, Akira has no memory of Akechi or Minato ever meeting, but Minato and Akechi have an early fond memory to share when shit hits the fan later down the line.

Akechi basically spends his childhood longing for friendship he can’t have, while, once he grows up enough to climb ranks, spends every waking hour trying to get into the military (because that’s where Akira is the most, and he’s always wanted to have a casual conversation with Akira and ask him more personal questions. How are the nobles like? What’s the king like? Was it fun growing up with him? Do you have any hobbies? WANNA GO OUT FOR COFFEE I KNOW YOU LIKE COFFEE AM I SUBTLE ENOUGH YET? Etc.) but climbing ranks is very difficult and can take years.

That’s why, once Akechi manages to finally pass the test with hard work, he feels cheated when it’s taken away just because “the current king needs to approve of you, too”. To put more salt on the wounds, since they were attacked and a number of people died, they’re actually low on members. The military took a hit, so they do need new members, problem is, not only soldiers were killed in the hell that transpired during that war. Akechi’s forced to remain a kitchen attendant because there’s not a lot of people they can afford to train to know their way around such a complex kitchen right now. Even if Akechi can take the test, and pass again, it’ll at least be a year or two until the Kingdom collects itself before he can climb to the position of soldier and go outside to do field work like he wants. He grows so bitter over it, but he promises himself he’ll reach Akira one day.

The sad thing is, he never will.

Not with honest work. 

Much like in themes of P5, the world, sometimes, can be really unfair. People who are born into the right family (IE- The Kurusu Family) get special privileges. People who keep in touch with them or work close to them sometimes benefit from knowing them or being kind to them. Connections help you climb ranks. Sucking up helps you climb ranks. Although, obviously, it only works selectively, and Akira’s time is really limited because of all the shit he has to do. So, when a kitchen attendant walks up to him to converse or ask for a favor, he won’t take it seriously, and will tell him to “go talk to someone his own rank” if he wants a favor, because to Akira- there’s nothing valuable Akechi can do for him in his position. The problem Akira doesn’t realize is that he’s keeping Akechi in his position by dismissing him, therefore rendering anything he can contribute to a clean zero. He’s not doing this to be a shit to Akechi. He’s doing it because that’s what the Kurusu’s were raised to do. A Kurusu’s only job is to act as the King’s human shield. Anything that looks like it might waste his time or pull him away from that will just be dismissed. What can a kitchen attendant do for him? What benefit will Akira have speaking to someone beneath him with no real ties to other nobles? He isn’t looking to make friends or socialize, so all he does is dismiss Akechi.

Akechi, who grew up admiring Akira, wishing to be close to him one day, to be like him one day, begins to loathe him for what he’s become. Because true, Akira was different before he took on his retainer position, but that’s partly because Minato almost died and both their parents were murdered in the war. Enforcing that Rank policy was the only way to keep people organized and keep them within their own lane not to complicate his work.

Akechi asks about the position to join the military often, but Akira’s answer is always “The King is busy right now,” which is true, but dismissing Akechi’s problems like that is still cold. 

It gets so bad that Akechi has to sneakily make his way to Minato personally without permission to ask him about the position. He’s breaking rules (something he only considers because he’s getting desperate). He’s afraid to get penalized, but he’s hinging his bets on Minato’s punishment being lenient since that seems to be a running theme and the talk of everyone around (given Minato’s not executed anyone as of yet regardless of their crime- so anything that isn’t a death sentence will be worth it to him HE DOESN’T CARE…).

Dumb boy actually mANAGES TO SNEAK INTO MINATO’S OFFICE SPACE AND CASUALLY STARTS WITH “Hi” like a dumbass and startles the hell out of Minato so much that Minato automatically reacts to shout for the guards. Akechi starts mouthing apologizes instantly like “I’m sorry, this will only take a minute!” and “I know I shouldn’t have snuck in, but-!” and it’s like something clicks in Minato’s mind like. This seems really familiar. And he just.Oh.You’re the kid that runs his mouth a lot.Ok gotcha, I don’t feel that afraid now lmao.

Akechi manages to tell Minato his rank and occupation before Minato makes a call for them, though, and it calms him somewhat. Seeing Minato so easily startled up close shows Akechi that his king is stressed and that something’s very wrong? But he doesn’t know what. During the early years, they’ve had a huge number of assassination attempts, most of which Minato is unaware of, but some of them, he knows pretty well because some actually came close. So, seeing Akechi just WALK IN… without a sound to boot… yeah.

Minato doesn’t penalize him but he does say something along the lines of “God, I will fucking slam that door in your face next time you enter without permission.” Not exactly like this, but he’s shouting this version in his head lmao and giving Akechi the kind version. Akechi tells him about his troubles, and Minato’s just “…This is the first time I’m hearing about it. Why didn’t you approach me sooner?” Minato he fucking tried ok it’s hard. Because at this point it’s been like… several years? Akechi’s been waiting it out as he was told, meanwhile, Minato wasn’t aware of his issues at all. Something always came first. It shows how fucked the system is for people who aren’t high enough on the list. The news never even reached Minato because so many other things took precedence over his issues.

Minato though, wanting to take action immediately as soon as a problem presents itself, decides to leave what he was doing to try and appease Akechi because… having to wait several years is a long waiting time just to join the military? Minato can’t promote him right away (given how much he actually has left to do) but at the very least, he gives Akechi a date where he’ll initiate it personally much like his father did for all new soldiers. Minato also apologizes to him? And it makes Akechi feel guilty because hey, look at that, Minato would have done the thing if he had just known. Makes him feel guilty for sneaking into Minato’s office without permission. Makes him feel guilty for not even getting penalized but for getting a promotion instead. His moral compass gets a little fucked at this point when he realizes that this is the first time he’s broken the rules, and it’s the only time he’s ever benefited. He shouldn’t feel guilty for getting what he deserves, in his opinion? It’s the method with which he reached it, but no other methods were working, so, was it really that bad of a thing?

It starts a downwards spiral of more things after he becomes soldier. Certain more experienced soldiers get sent on specific missions, while Akechi mostly tends to things within the palace again. He never gets to meet high ranked soldiers or people he thinks will help him up his rank to get closer to the king, and unless he actually does something extraordinary (of which the chances are very slim) he won’t be able to make a huge impression enough to get promoted above C rank (the lowest military rank).

So. He figures. Alright… I broke the rules that one time. I guess spreading a little rumor about this one soldier might kick him off field work for a while. So, he spreads a lie, feels a little guilty, but it’s easier than sneaking into Minato’s HQ. Plus, there’s no penalty just for a little rumor that they can’t even trace back to him for certain. Guy he’s spreading rumors about naturally has to step down from a mission, and one of the rookies has to take over. Akechi offers to go, and that’s how he slowly starts his manipulation streak to get to the top. It isn’t fair to others. But what did the others ever do to him? They ignored him for years just because he wasn’t important enough to them- so, they can go fuck themselves for all he cares. 

Minor misdemeanors turn into actual crimes over several years where he loses himself more and more, becoming so corrupt he can hardly think about friendship anymore but about power and the benefit it will have if he manages to get close to the king. At Rank A, he has such bloodstained hands that he doesn’t care about Akira’s friendship. His only motive now is to find something incriminating on Akira to kick Akira down from his position. “Dethrone” a Kurusu? The Kurusus were special breeds, and he’s always wanted to put Akira in his place because he’s always struggled, but Akira was handed friendship, love, and yet treated everyone else like they were secondary. Problem is that Akechi doesn’t actually understand Akira’s purpose as Kurusu. 

Akira’s purpose is to only really care for the King’s best interest, not anyone elses. So, anything Akira can do to make Minato’s life easier, he does, and not telling Minato about Akechi’s problems is just an extension of that sense of duty. It’s something Akira does to everyone because it’s how he was raised. King first, you second, nation last. The reason he comes second is because he’d sacrifice himself for his king, but not for his people. If he died for a civilian or a rank beneath him, Minato would be exposed to threats, and his life would be in danger. It’s something Akechi can’t know because he wasn’t raised knowing the ins and outs of the Kurusu family. So it creates a divide between them where Akechi constantly calls Akira out on how shitty he’s being to everyone who isn’t Minato, and Akira basically going “yeah, that’s my fucking job, asshole, i’m not here to please you or pat you on the head for doing a good job, go get friends your own rank if you want that” in not exactly those words lmao but something similar.

CLAPS HANDS. THIS HAS BEEN A LONG RAMBLE THANKS FOR COMING TO MY TAMTALK I’LL GLADLY TALK MORE ABOUT AKECHI because I love writing him and his descent into the most corrupted mindset just to get ahead. This isn’t even all of it, this is just the buildup to the shit that leads Akechi to become Minato’s second personal retainer…

That’s right Akira, Akechi is coming for yOUR JOB.

[rason-rodd]

Nightwing : The Rise of Flamebird (Chapter 5)

Summary: Nightwing and Flamebird were two ancient Kryptonian gods, yet completely opposite. He was darkness and rebirth, tasked to hunt the evils in the shadows. She was fire and destruction, born to annihilate the creations of her mate, Vohc The Builder. Destined to fall in love and achieve great things but fated to be separated. That’s the story Dick Grayson and Terry Olsen heard. Strange that it is also, somehow, their story

Major Pairing: Nightwing/Dick Grayson x Flamebird/Original Female Character

Chapter Summary: After the kidnapping of another child, Terry starts to devote herself even more to her work at the expense of her life as a couple. But there is no time for personal life. The autopsy of Jane Antol has revealed too many terrible things and she believes she may have a lead. Problem is, she needs Nightwing's help.

WARNING: GORE & VIOLENCE, KIDNAPPING

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Terry and Josh’s Apartment – Halyard Street – Blüdhaven – Morning

Another child was missing. Terry had received a message telling her so early this morning. Chloe LaGrange. Five Years Old. A sweet little girl with curly black hair, big black eyes and mocha-coloured skin. Living in Ravenshood Heights and an orphan adopted last year by a couple of doctors. “Just like Isaac.” Terry whispered as she pinched the bridge of her nose, the picture of the little girl in her hand. Now she was certain that this wasn’t a coincidence. She was dealing with a serial kidnapper… or worse.

Lost in her thoughts, she didn’t see Josh sitting by her side with a mug of hot black coffee. “Here, you’ll need this.” She didn’t hear him either. He sighed and put the mug in her field of vision. “I’m sorry … Thank you … You were saying?” He smiled. He wasn’t mad. He knew how much her work meant to her. “There was nothing you could have done, Terry.” 

“ I know. But it kills me to know there is a psychopath hurting kids somewhere in this city and that the only clue I had is now on the coroner’s table.”     “ Any idea who that might be?”           “ Well I’ve established a profile using the data on the children. Since both Isaac and Chloe were orphans, adopted by rich families and living in the most luxurious area in the Blüd, I believe our kidnapper is an orphan too … However, I don’t think he was ever adopted. Actually, I think the kidnappings are acts of vengeance and resentment, to punish the families that didn’t choose him. But maybe I’m wrong.”       “ You’re never wrong.” He tried to kiss her on her lips but he only met the corner of her mouth as she remained still. “You’re going somewhere?” She asked as she noticed him taking a grey duffel bag “To the gym. I signed up yesterday for a ridiculous price and I read on the Internet the coach is very competent” She faked a smile. Another. Truth was she couldn’t care less about his hobbies. Awful, right? She knew. “But hey, he might interest you. He is also an orphan adopted by a rich guy.” He joked as he zipped his sport jacket.       “Oh really?” Why did she ask? Just let him leave.       “Yeah. Dick Grayson. Heard he was Bruce Wayne’s ward” Terry froze instantly and Josh noticed it. He frowned. “Do you know him?”       “Who doesn’t know Bruce Wayne?”   “I meant Dick Grayson.” She hesitated for a second but then answer with a “Nope”. But the truth is she knew him. After all, how could she forget him? That poor boy that had lost his parents the same night she lost hers. “Dick Grayson” she whispered inaudibly.

Grayson Cross Train Studio – Blüdhaven - Morning

The alarm made Dick jump. For a second, he thought he had just closed his eyes a couple of minutes ago. But when he checked the clock on his nightstand he realised he had been sleeping for at least three hours. A record this week, but still not enough to erase the dark rings under his blue eyes. He yawned but managed to get up even though his knee was still hurting. A splint and he hopefully would be ready to work.         He limped towards the windows and drew the curtains. The sun hidden behind the high buildings of the city centre was slowly rising, replacing the crazy noisy neon night and colouring the sky with yellow and orange shades. It was one of the many reasons he loved Blüdhaven and refused to call it Gotham’s little sister.             Blüdhaven was not Gotham. It didn’t look like her at all. Yes, crimes and lawlessness had given her this reputation of dangerous dark place but Blüdhaven was also this eternal patchwork of colours, a flashy skyline sparkling in the dark night in which even more colourful people were living. Blüdhaven was not just black and white, neon pink and blue.

Just like the sign on his windows, that Josh was staring at, happy that he had finally found the place after his GPS had got him lost at least twice. He opened the door and was immediately welcomed by a still sleepy yet smiley Dick who approached him to shake his hand. “Hi! You must be Josh” The ex-surgeon instantly noticed his splint but, out of respect, he just smiled and chose not to say a word though he thought Dick looked like he definitely needed medical advice. “Yeah. Sorry, I’m a bit late. I’m new in this city. Still got some orientation issues.” “ No worries. At least, I was able to take my time this morning. Plus the others are not here yet so … Coffee?” He nodded. Dick was a very warm and social man. His comfort and ease around people stroke Josh who wished for a second he was like this too. Even his voice was smooth and immediately gave him an incredible trustworthy and friendly vibe. “So you’re new in town?” Dick handed him a cup of hot coffee. “Yeah. We moved in few days ago.”         “ We, as in …”             “My girlfriend and I, Terry. I got a job opportunity, a huge contract from the mayor’s office to renovate the old harbour salt factory into a seaside resort. I’m an architect/ interior designer”       “ Wow. That’s looks like a huge work.” Dick took a sip of coffee as he massaged his knee, a gesture that caught again Josh’s attention. “It is and it’s taking me most of my time which is actually something I didn’t want to happen when I changed my career path. I was a surgeon at Metropolis Hospital.” “ Why that huge change?”       “ I did it for my girlfriend, mostly. We’ve been through a lot recently.” Sadness was suddenly in Josh’s deep brown eyes. He tried to conceal it behind a smile. “We needed a new start and I wonder ‘why not’” But Dick noticed, as he had been taught to discern every details. However, he knew how to react according to them. The man was basically a stranger so chatting about his personal problems was not a good idea. “And well, it looks like we’re getting better.” Good for you, lucky man. Dick winced as he crossed his leg. Stupid knee. “You know, you should see a doctor. You may need surgery… Medical advice.” Dick smiled slightly just to be polite but the truth is he was tired of people worrying about him. “It can wait.”

Dick’s phone rang, cutting short the conversation before it became too awkward. It was a text from Helen, one of his clients, a professional hockey player with gorgeous blue eyes, curly dark hair and a smooth mocha-coloured skin. “Car trouble. We will be late. Sorry <3”       “Looks like Helen and Wallace are going to be very late. So let’s start without them.”           “Looks like Helen digs you.” Josh winked as he noticed discreetly the heart at the end of the text. Dick scoffed and smiled. “She’s a cool girl but I’ve got no time for romance right now.” Josh shrugged. “Or you don’t want to take the time for some reason” The ex-trapeze artist was a bit surprised by the familiarity but better a weird too sociable client that than an introvert shy one, no? “Sorry that was inappropriate.”             “Actually you may be right.” Relieved, Josh smiled and dared ask “We should totally go out sometime. Terry and I haven’t get the chance to meet people since we arrived. And you seem like a pretty nice guy… You can ask Helen and Wallace to come as well … or other people, as you wish ” He winked with a smile. “Sure … why not.”

Blüdhaven Police Department – Afternoon

As soon as Terry opened the door, an intense cold invaded her body. For a second she wondered it was the low temperature in the room or the naked corpse on the table in front of her that was making her shiver. She opted for the last theory.     “ Detective Olsen. I was no expecting you so soon.” The coroner approached her with a smile and stretched out his hand to salute her. She did the same but quickly reconsidered when she noticed the blood on his glove. “Oh sorry.” He took it off, a bit embarrassed and finally shook her hand. “I just began the autopsy this morning right after I received the Examining Magistrate’s authorisation.” “ And? Have you found anything yet?”           “ I have indeed.” He waved her to come closer to the corpse and pointed at her slit neck. “She bled to death. I’m still trying to figure out what blade was used but the precision of the cut shows the killer took his time.”           “ His? How do you know?”     “The bruises on her jaw and on her wrists– beside the ones that show she had been tied up pre and post mortem – correspond to very large hands, definitively not female. I suppose the killer caught her wrists first to tie her up and then held her head to slit her throat while she was still alive.” Terry frowned and gulped, imagining the pain the girl must have endured. “But there is worse. Her abdomen was entirely cut in half after she died. The liver and the heart are gone.” He opened the abdomen a little to show her. Terry closed briefly her eyes, deeply disgusted. Poor woman. She was maybe guilty of what happened to Isaac but no one deserved to be treated this way. “Did you find anything that would allow us to track down the killer by any chance?”   “ No. Whoever did this is a professional. There is no DNA, nothing” Terry pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed, frustrated and more than annoyed. “What’s this?” She pointed at a long red scar on Jane’s pale face.     “ That’s the creepiest part.” As if things were not already creepy enough. He turned Jane’s face to the side to show a thin cut all around the prostitute’s face. “It was made post mortem. It looks like the killer peeled off her face and then sewed it back”     “ What?” Her eyes widened. She had seen a lot in her young career and read a lot when she was a student but she had never heard or seen anything like this. “Sicko I know… And I also found this, in her mouth” It was a piece of paper. Words had been scribbled on it but the saliva had damaged it so much it was impossible to read. “I only found residues of food on it.”       “ May I take it?” She asked as she looked at the paper in the plastic bag.     “ Sure, yes. If you believe you can do something with it.”       “ I may know someone who can actually.”

Blüdhaven Police Department – Night

“ No. No way you’re staying here, Victoria’s Secret” Elise growled as she tried to make Terry go away, pulling her by the arm towards the door. “I don’t see why I couldn’t stay. I’d really like to talk to him myself about the case.”       “ I believe I can repeat everything you told me.” Svoboda insisted as she opened the door. “I’m not that sure to be honest. You seemed more interested in your burger than in the conclusions I had drawn from the autopsy and both kidnappings.”         “ Male. Serial offender. Possibly a resentful never-adopted orphan bla-bla-bla … See I listened to you.” “ Actually the bla-bla-bla part worries me.” Elise sighed and pushed the young woman before attempting to close the door to prevent her from coming back on the rooftop. “Fine, I’m leaving … But don’t forget to give him …” “ The paper. I know” The detective slammed the door and waited a little bit to make sure her colleague was gone. When she heard the footsteps going down the metallic stairs, she breathed out loudly, relieved she had succeeded in getting rid of her.       “ What paper?” Svoboda jumped and put her hand over her racing heart. It had skipped more than one beat, she was sure of it. “You’re going to give me heart attack one day, kiddo.” She groaned and looked up at the vigilante casually leant against the BPD flashing sign. “Don’t worry Elise, I have a defibrillator in my suit” She frowned, not really liking the joke but happy his usual cheerfulness was slowly resurfacing. “That was a joke.”           “ I know it was joke. But I’m not in a mood.”             “ I’m not really in the mood either.” He admitted before jumping from his spot to come down and meet her. “So what paper?”         “ This one.” She handed it to him. “Found in Anne Darrow’s mouth but the words have been erased because of the saliva. My colleague thought she could count on you to find out what was written.” “ Yeah I may know a way to do this.” He stared at the paper in the plastic bag. “Anything else?”             “ Well, Olsen drew some conclusions concerning our killer. She believes he is an orphan who was never adopted judging by the fact both the abducted kids were orphans”         “ Both?” Nightwing frowned, surprised by the words. “Yeah. A little girl was confirmed missing this morning. Chloe Lagrange.”     “ Why didn’t you tell me about this, earlier?” He growled, angry with the detective and with himself. Classical guilt. “Well, because I worked on the case all day as well.” She spat, not liking his tone at all. “Anyway, she also believes he had done this before considering his ‘modus operandi’. The killing of Jane was ‘very well calculated and conscientious. A professional work.' I’m just paraphrasing. He extracted her heart and liver and peeled off her face to sew it back like a real surgeon” “ Her face was peeled off?” His eyes widened. This detail was more important than Svoboda seemed to realise. “ Yeah… The guy is a real psycho”         “ Yeah and I know only one criminal capable of this … Barton Mathis aka Dollmaker.”

[daekie]

the entire history of human desire takes about seventy minutes to tell

(unfortunately, we don’t have that kind of time. forget the dragon, leave the gun on the table, this has nothing to do with happiness. let’s jump ahead to the moment of epiphany, in gold light, as the camera pans to where the action is) - richard siken, litany in which certain things are crossed out

Happy holidays, @heavenseveneleven, who I can’t @ for some reason!  Your SS mentioned you liked Jodariel and Pamitha’s dynamic, so I thought about the fact they’re both soldiers who committed war crimes, regretted them, and ran from there.

Crossposted to AO3 where...the formatting is better, haha, sorry.  Fic under the cut.

This much is simple – Jodariel has never had any love lost for Harps, except maybe too far back in her childhood for anyone in the Downside with her to know; her blood family is long gone, years and years, lost to disease and age and the war (and the Downside, once; she remembers little of her uncle, thrown to the depths when she was a child, far younger than their stowaway girl – she doesn’t even remember his crime, because it was never important to know – well, it was never important for her to know).  She has never thought kindly of a Harp except in the privacy of her own unconscious – She freed those fledglings and knew her guilt immediately, heavy on her shoulders like an unfathomable weight; there was no one to stop her when she turned herself in, no one to reach to her and beg and whisper.  She told no one.  It was quick and quiet and they chained her to the cage like they would any dissenter, any criminal, and the Archjustice was a looming figure with slender black-gloved hands clasped around his gavel and it was simple, simple like an execution, like the way a blade is a weapon regardless of what you do with it because it shouldn’t be on its’ own.  Jodariel thought that, maybe, she would have died there on the rocks like so many others, her body dashed into the waters, her death a penance repaid the only way she could –

Nothing is ever that simple.

She drags herself out of the wreckage of her cage and takes one of the snapped bars as a weapon, sharpening it against the rocks, using other broken aspects of the cage to splint her wounds.  Let Howlers come.  She is not dead, and maybe she won’t be, and maybe that’s her true punishment – to live where her fellows-in-arms died, to do something they would have never condoned and to live through it all, and to live and to live and

(jodariel has not been in the downside the longest; but for those who entered human, and those that are still alive and no longer human, she could be a rallying point.  she doesn’t want to be.  she doesn’t think anything about herself is worthy of glory, anymore.

for years and years she doesn’t think about hedwyn or any of her children, not-blood but that doesn’t matter, because all she can picture is how disappointed any of them would be in what she did and what she’s done.  she should be no one’s captain.  she doesn’t deserve it.) ------  This much is simple - Pamitha is not born to glory.  Few Harps are, anymore; they are a dying empire, driven back further and further every year by the Commonwealth’s soldiers on the Bloodborder – because you must train a Harp for battle, careful; but they can teach a Cur to hold a knife in its’ mouth and send it out to die, and there are fewer Harps than there are everything else.  They send fledglings out to battle, nowadays, and Pamitha used to care less about that, because the Commonwealth, the Commonwealth has taken everything from them –

She cares a lot about it, now; but oh, darling, there’s nothing she can do down here.  It’s easier to drink your troubles away, instead, because tales of the Nightwings and their talent and their ability to let one go free are old.  Those stories are so old she doesn’t know who tells them, anymore; Crones, mostly, and there are whispers here-and-there about benefactors who will reward you if you bring them old Nightwing robes, sigils, symbols, anything that could let that triumvirate raise again – it’s just all stupid fucking stories.  Pamitha doesn’t care.  The Nightwings won’t come for her, and even if they did and somehow her-and-Tamitha won (even that is a far-off dream, because Tamitha speaks to her rarely or not at all; it’s hard to reconcile this vicious warhawk with the little girl she remembers years ago, a little girl who had nightmares of soldiers coming for her and snatching her twin away), she wouldn’t deserve it.  Scribes only know Pamitha doesn’t deserve anything better than this.

Talking to Tamitha is like ripping open a wound every time.  They are not allies.  They are not friends.  Tamitha shudders and turns away every time Pamitha calls her sister, sister (most times, but some times she lashes out and screams and scratches and Pamitha knows she’s not wanted and she runs, she runs) and it makes something ugly and silver-vicious curl up in her gut like do you know what I fucking sacrificed for you, do you know what I would have given for you, they lied but that shouldn’t mean anything now sister sister sister please and she says nothing and keeps drinking.  The alcohol never ends.  It doesn’t taste good but she doesn’t deserve something that tastes good. ------ Jodariel used to be a weapon.  She still is.  She just isn’t wielded anymore. ------  Pamitha was raised to be a weapon and she cut down her sister.  Or she might as well have, anyways.  What does it matter she didn’t mean for this to happen?  It’s all her fault the way Tamitha looks at her nowadays. ------  (Hedwyn looks at her like she’s done nothing wrong.  She’s proud of him, after all this time, but she can’t help but have to bite back that reflexive hatred when he talks about the woman he was in love with because she’s a Harp, Hedwyn, you know what they did to your mother, you know what they did to her entire patrol, she was toying with you and she wasn’t cast down so she wanted this to happen to you because Harps don’t care about you or any of us but she swallows it down.  She doesn’t tell him her opinions on Fikani and he doesn’t ask, and in time, it passes from an uneasy quiet to less of a worry.) ------  Pamitha flirts like it’s a game, because it is, and she always did even before all of this – it was typical, really, because if you were too close to someone and they were shot down you’d have nothing left.  It was typical for her regiment; they were all sisters-in-arms, close as could be, but if they weren’t blood-sisters none of them were too close.  You won’t suffer lover’s-loss grief if you weren’t close like that, was always the thought, and that’s how it is; she should not mourn her lost, she should look towards what she can do, but -

there’s nothing she can do down here.  It was all for nothing.  All of it was for nothing.  Nobody ever gets out of here. ------ Nobody ever gets out of here. ------  Nobody ever gets out of here. ------  Except, the thing is, sometimes they do. ------  Jodariel doesn’t expect anything.  She’s trained herself not to expect anything; the concept of a literate person only being exiled now only brings scorn to her.  How would it be kept so quiet, with a skill like that, after years and years and so many generations only hearing of reading-and-writing as the ultimate crime?  It’s not that she necessarily must agree with her country’s traditions, but it’s been so long and it’s what she has to hold onto; her morality, her rules, in the face of who-knows-how-long-here, forever and ever and ever.  Downside is a disorderly wasteland and always will be; the land breathes death and nomadic lifestyles are a necessity.  There’s no rules to be made in that.

The Reader is not the first.  But she is the first still alive.

Sometimes, Jodariel thinks, this brave young woman might make the world better.  This woman, almost still a girl in comparison, who knows the ghosts of the past lurking in these crystals and is looked at by the Minstrel like a child savior.  She tries to keep herself realistic, because there is nothing but harm in that hope, but – still.  Sometimes.  She can see what might be, when the weight of her horns is too much for her, and it lets her get up for one more day like it’s not so agonizing, and things hurt a little less.  There’s hope, maybe.  Sometimes it’s even possible to believe in it. ------ Pamitha wakes up every day and hates it, for months, for years; all she thinks is that she’s ruined it, she’s ruined her life and Tamitha’s life and for nothing except the fact that some Commonwealth citizens didn’t die then.  Looking back, it seems pointless, and why has she done any of it?  What has she gotten out of this?  Every day is more of the same.  She drinks, she lounges, she plays up the careless hedonist role that half of the flock there thinks she is.  There’s no hope for anything to get better.  Until there is.

She’ll look back on it in years to come and think that this ridiculous caravan trundling through the territory, a woman in a robe and a woman with horns and strains of song, was the best thing for her.  Not now, though.  Now she just doesn’t know what to think of these people – unafraid of the Harps threatening them, even cocky, but not threatening too much violence either.

The conversation is easy.  It feels so easy, after the words are out of her mouth.  Even during the match when she can feel Tamitha’s glare at all times, bloody eye burning holes in her skin, she can ignore it; she can think I’m a Nightwing, I’m one of them, this is how people escape and I could be part of this story and part of this legacy and she can ignore it for a little while. (They win and she goes with them and it doesn’t feel like home, not really, not yet; but there is a tousle-haired girl with too-clear eyes and a young man with a kind, even voice and she might be the only Harp there – and Captain Jodariel won’t give her the time of day, but it’s fine, really, it’s fine - well, it will be, someday.  She doesn’t feel so alone anymore.  Everyone in this triumvirate is an outcast just like her.  She isn’t so alone anymore.

If the Reader gets drunk off of Pamitha’s moonshine and she has to suggest moderation, then the realization that she might be a guiding figure isn’t as harsh as it would have been only some moons ago.) ------ The Nightwings are a home for the downtrodden and the unseen and the odd nowadays.  Have you heard the whispers?  They field Cur-Harp-Savage and Demon-Wyrm-Crone with equal abandon, no care for how the races usually divide; their tactician, their Reader, is a woman who couldn’t be too far into adult age – or that’s what the whispers say.  The whispers say, too, that the Nightwings are good people at heart if distracted, never able to stay, always packing up and leaving for some far-off fight as the stars prophecy every night.

Sometimes people say the way their Harp, with her wild hair and her leisurely way of speaking, looks at their Demon – they say it borders on the intimate.

But that wouldn’t be true, would it?  Captain Jodariel would never do more than tolerate a Harp.  We all know exiles who used to be soldiers; they’re all like that, aren’t they?

Aren’t they? ------  It’s a glance here and there, skin touching for a long moment before they pull apart; it takes time.  Any relationship takes time.  There is the Reader with her favorite ghost – they’ve all met Sandra and the Beyonders, by now, have been through those trials and emerged stronger (and more than a little bit disoriented for a few minutes after) – and they’ve heard how fondly both women talk of each other, like despite their differences – but that, too, took years to build.  People have gone home.  Rukey Greentail – she waved him goodbye as the light took him back to his home.

Pamitha has thought about ascension a few times and she’s found it lacking.  The Commonwealth still exists, and her race gets smaller and smaller every day; even if through some unknowable logic the Reader decided it was her time, she could never fit in with her brethren if they let her leave and go home, really go home.  You don’t just regrow parts of your wings like that.

The Minstrel says nothing about her troubles.  She wonders about him, when the days are bad and she finds refuge in drink, or when a rite goes poorly and she can’t help but feel her reactions were too slow and she ruined it for the rest.  Him and the Gate Guardian (and what a woman that Guardian is; might as well have been chiseled out of stone, so physically perfect Pamitha always has to do a doubletake because she always expects something – humanizing, maybe?  But no, no; Celeste’s eyes have kindness in them but that seems to be it, there’s nothing secret she can find, no hidden wishes or hidden worries) look at each other the way she thinks she used to look at Tamitha. (Well.  The way she thinks she used to look at Tamitha.  Thinking about her sister isn’t like tearing open a wound, anymore, but it still hurts and it always will.  There’s nothing there she can save, and she was never going to save anyone in the first place with her betrayal, and she will have to live with her failure for as long as she draws breath.)

These things take time.  Pamitha stops feeling like her entire life has to be repentance and Jodariel learns there’s more to learn than hatred and that people can make something new, down here.  Something different.  Something better.

There is time to build their own little peace treaty.  Just the two of them. ------ (One day Pamitha falls asleep on Jodariel’s shoulder, head inclined; and Jodariel knows that she would do anything for this woman - this woman who would have once been her truest enemy. She's free to be tender.  Her ghosts are quiet now.  She's laid them to rest as she should have so long ago.

One day one of them might go free without the other, and they both know this, but for now – for now they have each other.)

[hakka84]

I’m not sure how the show uses Uther’s (few) scenes of parental love as an excuse for the crimes he commits towards named and nameless people in his kingdom. The series spent much time on showing his obstinacy on not granting clemency toward those who deserved it (Tom, Gwen, any druid, just to name the most important victims of his). And it also spent time to show how Queen Morgana isn’t different from her father, ruling with an iron fist and no clemency at all: from the start Queen Morgana is depicted as ruthless, far from the caring sorceress that “wants freedom and the well-being of the people” (like a part of the fandom likes to wank on): not only she threatens the knights (who rightfully are loyal to the king and don’t want to kneel to the usurper) and has them standing in line to be executed (it has some logic, for as much as ruthless this might be) but, to hurt them, she orders her army execute the bystanders, which are innocent people (judging from the costumes, they aren’t members of the court but simple citizens from the lower town). Queen Morgana’s reign is clearly depicted as a “dark time” in which no one is safe, the last woman in the lower town isn’t much safer than Leon (Arthur’s right hand with his solid loyalty to the king), Morgana is brutal, she doesn’t stand anyone not bowing to her. Like Uther. Which paints Uther and his ruling as AT LEAST MORALLY GREY as well. I always had the feeling the show was clear, in its portrayal of Uther as a “dark grey” character, as a “complex villain that had become as such because of pain and suffering - and a silenced sense of guilt - that festered into hatred but who, at the same time, can feel and show love and care for his family”, but perhaps it’s just me or it’s up to personal interpretation.

Anyway

Allow me to steal your writing (which goes straight to the point with just few lines) and rephrase it to explain what, IMHO, the show do does.

The issue is that the narrative treats Uther’s complexity as parental figure as a means to excuse the rest of his failures as father (especially of a “orphan of mother” since birth son, who has only him as family). The show frames it as “yes he was a sad excuse of a father, he never showed his son that he cherished him (so much that Arthur reached maturity/21 years thinking his father was ashamed of him and thought he wasn’t enough and a failure and that Uther didn’t love him), he sent his only son to fight even the most dangerous battles and to face (almost) certain death every two days, but in two emotion-loaded scenes he confessed he loved Arthur and that Arthur was his most precious thing even above Camelot and that he was proud of Arthur so maybe he wasn’t such a bad father after all.”

I purposely specified Arthur and not included Morgana, because - while we are shown less about his relationship with his Ward/secret daughter - mostly he is shown as a caring (not)adoptive father. He doesn’t like it when Morgana defies him (in character with a tyrannical ruler like a medieval king) so much that one time he looses his temper, chokes Morgana and throws her in the dungeons. But. But please notice, only one time: other times we see Morgana sharing her opinion, stubborn as only the daughter of Uther Pendragon can, arguing and doing things behind his back, and he doesn’t react much besides some grumbling or bout of anger. It comes to my mind the scene when, after Arthur left to pick the flower, Uther storms in Morgana’s rooms and understands that Morgana knew. He’s pissed? Yes, but at Arthur, not much at Morgana that knew and didn’t say nor tried to stop him. She doesn’t hide the fact she agrees with Arthur’s decision. Yet, Uther doesn’t punish her. It as if he’s used to Morgana being a little shit rebel and it takes him more to loose his temper when she isn’t involved.

Even when Morgana helped Mordred escape (a crime, in Camelot), he is pissed but he doesn’t go great lengths to punish her, all things considered: compare it to how he punished Arthur when he went to get the flower to heal Merlin, defying Uther’s direct order to not go. In Uther’s mind, helping a druid child(=evil dangerous magic user™) should be worst than making a trip to pick a flower to save the servant who willingly drank poison instead of the prince his master hence saving the live of the prince who happens to be Uther very own only child; yet, the punishment for Arthur is worse than for Morgana. Both happen in Season 1 (when the characterization and plots were the most accurate and well-written so, as far as I’m concerned and for as much as every frame in every episode is canon, Season1!characterization overlaps the other Seasons version of the characters) in the span of a couple of episodes (1x04/1x08) so we cannot apply the standard fandom excuse of “the authors forgot what they had done in the previous season *shrugh*”. Not to mention that the one time Morgana is dying (the sentence of death has been pronounced, there is no utter hope) he is willing to use magic to heal her - something he doesn’t consider for his son. This says much about who is supposed to be more important for him. (though, I’ll admit, this might be because Season 1/rest of Season writing discrepancies - I doubt Uther has mellowed in the span of time occurred between Le Morte d'Arthur and The Crystal Cave, unless we headcanon that almost loosing Arthur in 1x12 shocked Uther so much that he was willing to go against his every belief to not repeat the torture of staying at her deathbed side hoping for a last-minute miracle).

So, IMHO, he was a better father to Morgana than Arthur. Ironic, that the child of his who in the end betrayed him/rebelled/plotted to kill him is the one that was treated better by him and the one who was shown love and understanding the most. Sure sure, Morgana was frightened because of her magic and her safety, living in Camelot under Uther’s rule (he had every right to loose her mind and take the wrong path, thanks-but-no-thanks to Morgause meddling), but by the time she discovers her powers (2x03) Uther has already shown her that he's willing to bend rules for her (if it had been anyone else to help Mordred escape, this person would’ve been put to death - see Tom; whose crime was even lighter: he offered his skill and worked his smithy for a sorcerer, Morgana helped a wanted “criminal” to escape). It’s likely Uther (this Morgana couldn’t know, she was in a coma when Uther asked Gaius to use magic to save her) would’ve found a way to let Morgana live unscathed with her magic (or with a way to suppress it) in or outside Camelot and then he would’ve moved on onto the next magic user to persecute. He is that kind of hypocrite who wouldn’t even ban Morgana and would instead just order Morgana to hide that side of her (to stay on the magic=gay metaphor the fandom likes, “hide your queerness, act like you’re hetero, pretend you’re normal and like men like the rest of the ladies in the castle”). I mean, at least Arthur (who acted hypocritical himself, with the whole searching the help of magic when it suited him) showed some doubt on the “all magic is bad” axiom drilled him by Uther once in a while.

Meanwhile other villains, despite being much more sympathetic, don’t get this same level of apologism.

Do you know who, of all the villains, was sympathetic and got (IMHO, though much between the lines) a bit of apologism? Edwin. Oh, I hate the guy. But, let’s think about him.

His parent were burned at the stake per Uther’s rule. He saw them burn and burned himself in the desperate attempt to save them.

He lost his parents and (alone?) had to flee from what he called home to save his own life (implied, not explicitly said - but it’s likely Uther didn’t lightly spare the child of two magic users, lest it revealed him/herself magic user too).

Gaius says Edwin's parents practiced dark magic. Edwin might not know when he planned and put his plan into motion (although he doesn’t seem shocked nor conflicted by the revelation later on). He could’ve thought his parents were good people, he didn’t care or simply the need for revenge overrode everything else.

He was a child when he saw his parents burn; he grew up (we don’t know in which conditions) and all his life he likely was obsessed with revenge, and the only reason he found to wake up in the morning (and not give in to depression) was that one day he would kill Uther for what he did to his parents.

We don’t know if it was planned or was an opportunity that he couldn’t resist, but he takes his chance to revenge on Gaius as well. He doesn’t try to kill him (at first), he’s happy enough with putting Gaius in a situation where is forced to choose between someone he loves (Merlin) or his loyalty to his king. He certainly doesn’t cry over Gaius decision to leave Camelot.

Up until know he isn’t much different than most of the “magic villains of the show”. Here is where he is unique:

How does he plans to take his revenge? Well, he chooses to use Morgana - an innocent girl whose “fault” is being dear to Uther. (now that I think about it, why he didn’t pick Arthur, Uther’s son, instead of his Ward? Did he study Camelot and knew Uther would be more hurt if it was Morgana the one fatally ill?). We don’t know for sure, but it’s unlikely he was willing to let her die: she is but a tool to enter the castle, prove that he’s a more competent doctor than the current one and take his place so to win the king’s trust and have access to the king’s medications, and he gambled that he would find a way to offer his services and find someone (Arthur, in this case) that would be desperate enough to allow him, a complete stranger, to use his knowledge and “give it a try”. The death of Morgana wouldn’t bring him any good, anyway. (the beetle perhaps didn’t even harm her but just kept her in a sleeping state, and Gaius - given the symptoms - assumed it was “some form of inflammation of the brain”; if this is true, Edwin didn’t even harm Morgana. It’s an hypothesis. If the beetle harmed Morgana, it must have been a slow procedure, since Morgana wakes up with no lingering effect, and she at least spent two nights in such a comatose state, while the beetle later put in Uther’s ear would do it’s job in “few hours”). Merlin? At first I’m not even sure he knows Merlin is Gaius’ pupil. Merlin is a curious puppy eager to learn new things and also has magic, and I feel Edwin genuinely wished to take him in as his pupil. I took a look at the episode transcript and the screencaps to check if I remembered right. The first time Edwin sees Merlin is at Arthur’s side, as Arthur’s servant. Then Merlin is assisting Edwin (he helps him move his belongings here and there), likely on Arthur’s orders, and he never hangs around (on screen) with Gaius for Edwin to see. The first time Gaius name is pops up (”Gaius doesn't like me to (use this spell)” is after Edwin has taught/shared some notions about his objects and the arts he practices with Merlin. Could Edwin already know that Merlin is Gaius’ pupil before sending the flowers to Morgana? Sure. But we don’t know, so it’s up to us to believe if either Edwin was genuine toward Merlin or used him from the start to get at Gaius.

Anyway. Later on, he threatens Gaius: you either let me do my thing or I tell Uther Merlin is a sorcerer. Asshole? Yes. Is he gambling that Gaius will chose Merlin? Likely. Is he ready to throw Merlin under the bus? Likely. He wants his revenge, and he’s so close it almost tastes it, and that come first. So he isn’t a cinnamon, he practices dark magic and doesn’t feel ashamed nor conflicted about it, and yes, perhaps he is ready to sacrifice Merlin (a fellow magic user) to achieve his goal, but he’s not as clear on how far he is willing to go like the other “magic villains” so he’s the most “Merlin shade of morally grey” of them all; besides, he doesn’t anywhere claim to do this to win freedom for magic users or to revenge all magic people, it’s all about his personal revenge, so he isn’t an hypocrite if he goes and has Merlin (one like him) die at the hand of Uther.  Also, his plans are simple and involve less collateral damage possible: get close to Uther so I can drug him and then kill him. He becomes truly dangerous, and ready to take lives that aren’t Uther’s, only after he already attacked Uther and Gaius dares to intrude when Uther can still be saved. Well, I too would get a bit nasty if I’m at 99% of a 200gb download and someone shuts the router down by mistake and I loose two-days worth of a download, and this guy is about to see his long-planned revenge to get ruined because the very old guy he considers a traitor just wants to save the live of the tyrant. At this point Edwin is on a power-trip: Gaius tries to stop me? He shall burn as my parents did, when he did nothing to help them. Merlin discovers me? What about we take Camelot and rule together? No? Well, then, this axe shall do. (this whole “I can rule the kingdom now. And with you at my side, we can be all-powerful” doesn’t make much sense, considering what the character did up to this point: never he hinted that he wanted more than revenge, hence drugged on power, no other explanation).

So, he reacts as the “usual Merlin magic villain” only after someone faces him to stop him; all the others are more active and attack, torture, hurt and kill in the early stages of their plans, way before someone even has the chance to discover what their up to. Not to say that he is the victim or that he is a saint, and Merlin and Gaius aggressors, but he fights back, he isn’t even the one to start the fight because it’s Gaius the first to use the spell to attack and Edwin reacts (with a fire, not a nice thing to do hence dark evil sorcerer).

And let’s see how he plans his true revenge, how Uther will die. His methods are clean. Uther will suffer, sure (” Within a few hours, the beetle will eat into your brain. And you will suffer, as they suffered. And I long to hear you scream, as they screamed the night you gave the order for the fires to be lit” - although, he’s drugged and paralyzed, so he probably couldn’t scream? Make up your mind, Edwin dear?) because, to him, Uther doesn’t deserve the quick death of a potent poison or the blade of a knife in the chest, but - as far as the original plan should go - no one else will suffer. He doesn’t have to kill a guard or torture a servant or kill someone to take their place; Uther is the one who brought pain on him and Uther will be the one to die in horrible pain. No tortured Gwens, no Toms on their deathbeds, Morgana is as healthy as ever and even Arthur is miraculously left alone. If he planned more once Uther died, we don’t know, besides that whole “let’s rule together” that sounds to me like a last-minute decision once he found a powerful sorcerer to tutor.

So. Recap. He wants revenge on Uther (and perhaps from the start, perhaps it happened as he went along) and Gaius; one gave the order to burn his parents, the other - although practicing magic himself - didn’t help two fellow sorcerers and turned a blind eye. Understandable. One could argue that taking a life or two won’t bring your loved ones back but only taint you, but hey, revenge, one can condemn it and, at the same time, understand the feeling. One could also argue that Merlin didn’t deserve the axe thrown his way, but Edwin still practices dark magic which means should have less qualms at sacrificing lives and taking lives than, say, a druid. Which.. .well, fits with a character that gets a girl ill in order to become the new doctor and get close to the man he hates. Edwin is a well-written character. He does evil things but he’s morally ambiguous. How far are you allowed to go in order to dull the pain of a crime you were victim of? He doesn’t want revenge because “you killed people like me”, he doesn’t kill innocents in order to get where he needs to be: he just arrives at Uther’s side without leaving any side effect to Morgana (who wasn’t depicted as suffering during her coma) and harming no one else until someone - at the very last moment - tries to steal the victory right under him.

Mary Collins could also fall in the same group as Edwin, if she didn’t kill TWO innocent people (the singer and the servant, though the latter is a casualty not planned) in order to get her revenge. I don’t condemn her for the whole “eye for an eye” attitude, is completely understandable (cannot condone it, but understand it yes) so I don’t care that he planned to take Arthur’s life. Getting rid of the servant was a necessity because she saw something she shouldn’t have. But why kill her? Why not knock her out? A witch as powerful as to teleport and use a glamour that steals the appearance of someone, cannot really throw a heavy object on the girl’s head, conjure a rope and a gag and hide the unconscious girl in a trunk?  And Helen? Couldn’t Mary just “steal” the identity of literally a nobody, return to Camelot and pretend to want a job there or pull a Nimueh!Cara and kill Arthur without spilling any other life? Or steal Helen’s identity few minutes before the show? Couldn’t she could slip in the room, knock Helen out and take her place? Use her sleeping enchantement on a smaller scale when he reached Helen’s tent in the middle of the woods, so to have the time to knock Helen bring her somewhere hidden (a cave) through teleport and then replace her? Or did the glamour need that Helen’s life was taken in order to work? To get revenge for a loss, you kill someone who might have a mother who will suffer your same pain. Way to go, Mary!. Someone whose first plan to get revenge for the death of a loved one is to kill an innocent third-party in order to get to the object of their revenge is evil. That’s all. A morally ambiguous one would consider the less bloody plan to get to their goal. Like Edwin.

Oh. Wow. Long meta is long. And I might’ve come to appreciate more Edwin now.

So yeah, besides this rumbling, I agree with OP’s point. I can’t say I feel like them on this

(...) [other villains than Uther] despite being much more sympathetic (...)

because few of them are sympathetic to me but they deserved to be shown as more nuanced so that the viewers too would be conflicted upon taking sides in the conflict of the day.

What I have issues with is the reblog’s added meta...

Nimueh was a FAR better person than Uther even came close to being, as were most of the sorcerors without any question at all. 

I get, and agree with everything about Merlin and Arthur. Especially Merlin, who should’ve been more clearly painted as “morally grey”, and not a “100% good character” but... why the apologia for Nimueh and the other sorcerers?

I mean. How Nimueh would be a "far better person" than Uther “without any question at all”? What we know about Nimueh?

I won’t include her attempts to kill Arthur: let’s put them in the “get at Uther by killing what it’s most dear to him” jar. [Although I hope no one here isn’t the kind of person who thinks is acceptable to strike at the wife/child to get revenge on their husband/father; yes, Nimueh attacks Arthur because he’s Uther’s son, not for Arthur’s own crimes against magic people] I’ll also not include her attempts at Merlin’s life, because “he protects Arthur - and some times even Uther - so he’s my enemy” too.

We know that she played with life and death at Uther's help request in conceiving an heir. She claims she didn't know that the death price would be paid by Ygraine (and we don’t know if this claim is true - let’s believe she didn’t know), but she knew that a death would be required for that magic to work. Apparently she was ok granting a heir to the king (of whom she was a friend at the time) at the cost of someone else’s life. If you pay attention to what she says to Uther in the council/brooding room in Excalibur, she is only pained because her choice to help him started a chain of events that led to the slaughter of her people (we don’t know if she means every magic users or only her followers, namely the people living on the Isle of the Blessed an religiously following the Old Religion, including the most brutal and ruthless sides of it), she isn’t sad for practicing a magic that would take a life to create another.

We see her using magic to poison the water of the citadel, thus killing innocent people just to get revenge on Uther (she would be "a far better person" if she aimed at Uther's life and not involve literally anyone else in order to make Uther pay for his crimes). Anyone remember that Tom died at Uther’s hand only because Merlin healed him from Nimueh’s magic? That Tom - the sweetest cinnamon roll of the whole tv show, the guy who probably protected flies and spared mosquitoes - would’ve died because of Nimueh, if Merlin didn’t interfere?

The show is cloudy on this one, but - from Kilgharrah’s and Gaius’s explanations - it’s implied she conjured the Questing Beast or at least she must be aware that the Beast is roaming around in Camelot woods. She doesn’t loose any sleep for any innocent life the beast could take (before Uther eventually sent Arthur to try and stop the beast) because she, the High Priestess, accepts that the Old Religion is ruthless and the Goddess isn’t an indulgent being either. For the Old Religion, life never is a too higher price to pay.

She isn’t marveled when Gaius says that Hunith is paying the price for Arthur’s life, which means she likely knew magic wouldn’t take Merlin but someone else. Wasn’t much sad about it either.

Not Nimeuh-specific, but we are told/shown that High Priestesses practiced necromancy, created the Lamia (who isn’t a creature of goodness), made use of the Fomorroh (that strips people of their will), used the mandrake roots to make people go mad or perform the Teine Diaga (“The sacred fire. The ritual used the mandrake root to bring unimaginable terror to the victim. Their screams could be heard twenty leagues away. When it was finally over, their will was no longer their own. They were slaves of the high priestesses for eternity”) and were skilled in magic that require a live offering (see “Rip the Veil”)

We’re also told that magic, when it was still allowed, wasn’t used to make the life of common people better, to produce more food or to heal the ill. Gaius is very specific when (the one time) he speaks about the times before the Purge, and he paints very dark times in which magic was used and abused to do wrongs and evil things, a time of chaos; so much that - according to him - Uther brought peace. The people in the citadel (we don’t see any other village, besides Ealdor, which lies outside Camelot) are shown to live in relative peace, they have little, too much taxes, too strict rules, you can be hanged if the guy you sold bread to ends up being a Evil Magic User™ (and the standard rest in a medieval society) but all in all they don’t seem to/have reason to complain much. Because a strong kingdom (what Uther created, again per Gaius words) means less wars which means peace time and not having to die on a battlefield in a pissing contest between two kings. Uther didn’t destroy this Magic Utopia you all headcanoned and then decided it was canon. -> Unless you believe everything Gaius (a traitor to the magic world he belong(ed) to) says is a lie. Which, again, is your opinion, but the canon doesn’t give any hint to ground your very own interpretation of the character nor implies that Gaius lies when revealing bits about pre-Purge Camelot)

But then, she (and the other “magic villains”) kill nameless people whose occupation was work hard to get a piece of bread on their table, so that doesn’t count: what’s the life of James The Guy Who Sell Eggs At The Market compared to Patrick The Guy Who Used Magic (Perhaps to Enchant a Woman To Love Him), right? Patrick is part of the minority you all feel close to (because metaphor of your own minority / of the minority you feel close to) so Patrick is inherently good and his life matters more than James, who - as non-magic user - is the metaphor of white-cis-male hence inherently bad. Uther killed magic users (regardless of why and how used magic, making no distinction from who used magic for good and who to torture or hurt people), meaning he persecuted a minority and so everyone fighting Uther is fighting for the rights of the minority (doesn’t matter the person’s own purpose), which means they are good. Right?

In the case of Morgause (and, by proxy, Morgana as well) isn’t even a matter of freedom, but of power! It’s just a matter of who has the ultimate power over the lands that fall within the borders of Camelot and the people living in there, the High Priestesses (as vessels of the Goddess) or the “atheist” king. It’s a war against the old power (the Old Religion, of which the High Priestesses are “the Queens”, who always decided about the life and death of the rest of the people) and the “mortal power” incarnated by Uther - and the kings like him (because Uther isn’t the only one who banned and persecuted magic in Britain - besides Sarrum). I left Nimueh out of these because Nimueh’s motives are less black and white and her war with Uther is personal and nothing to do with power.

Do you think Morgause gives a thing about Druid #2468 who has been slaughtered by the knights of Camelot? Nimueh perhaps feels some kind of compassion - it’s mostly left to how you feel about her, the canon doesn’t give us much to work on this, and I agree that she cared a bit, even only for a sense of guilt for being the one that started the chain of events that brought that slaughter - but Morgause cares only about herself and Morgana, the rest of the people can die in a fire: for her, people are tools worth nothing, pawns or collateral damage, corpses she is willing to use to pave her road to her own goals without even bothering to turn back and sigh at the loss. Morgana shows pretty much clearly how she is “fighting for the freedom to use magic” in Season 5. By killing and torturing anyone who practices magic but doesn’t agree with her (or even agrees with her but “I need a guinea pig to test this thing, bye”). She fights out of pettiness, like a child throwing a tantrum: “I want the throne, I hate Arthur because he got the throne instead of me I’m so oppressed! I’m on the right side! I deserve to win!” It not a matter of “freedom for magic users”, it’s just her lust for power and her hatred for the brother who got what he wants and could have. Morgana got a pretty poor treatment from the writers as seasons went by? I agree. But this is what the canon established, no amount of headcanons will change the fact this is how canon Morgana acts.

Anyway. Back to the topic.

Tauren (To Kill the King)? Uses people for his goals. Well, you could argue he paid Tom for his services and it isn’t his fault if Tom lives in a kingdom where helping a sorcerer leads you to death. You might be right. (a “good” person wouldn’t involve someone, knowing that that very involvement would cost this someone their head - but let’s not digress). ... do you remember how he treats Gwen? Gwen isn’t a noble woman, she isn’t part of the court, she cannot be in any way an ally of Uther’s tyranny. According to your line of thinking, Gwen is a victim of Uther’s tyranny (and she is, she lost her father because of Uther strict/close-minded application of the law), so she shouldn’t be involved in this war, right? Tauren could have asked her nicely, if he were a good character, right? Promise her a reward in exchange of the item he lost, right? Nonetheless, she is threatened with violence by one of those you label “far better person than Uther with no question at all”.

Morgause. She would deserve a medal for her goodness, indeed. He first act (let’s put aside the “have spirit of Ygraine tell Arthur the truth behind Uther’s hatred for magic and let’s see how that will go”, that was a good plan and not inherently meant to bring Arthur to commit patricide, although it’s likely that was Morgause’s plan) is condemning all people of Camelot to slaughter by leading to the citadel a group of immortal knights that cannot be killed all the while putting a sleeping enchantment on the citadel. Nowhere in the episode is specified that the knights have the order to find Uther and kill him and him only, nor that they wouldn’t arm the rest of the people they would find in their path. Sure, Morgause asks Morgana “ you want Uther destroyed and his reign to end?” but, if her goal was just to kill Uther, why not use the enchantment, then slip in the castle and kill the king herself? It would've brought her joy and satisfaction, wouldn’t it? Arthur was meant to be asleep like everyone else, posing no threat, and the plan would’ve been easier to pull. Yet, she goes and awakens the Knights. Why, if not to destroy Camelot alongside its king? The name of Uther is included in the enchantment she uses to awaken the Knights but, according to the translations of it I found, it’s just a “Grief, Uther Pendragon” not a “Knights, your designed victim is Uther Pendragon”.

Morgause, this time with the active help of her pal/sister Morgana, also comes up with the idea of ripping the Veil, fully knowing that what would come from beyond the Veil would condemn innocent lives to death. All to “hit” Uther. Uther deserves to die so much “because he’s the medieval Hitler, slaughtered our people and stripped us of freedom” that... oh wait, I have an idea! We’ll bring the horrors from the world of the dead and unleash them on Camelot (the kingdom, not the citadel), where they will kill literally everyone, including Female Druid #45 in Druid Camp, Sorceress #8 Who Hides As Old Widow At Village X and the children of Lower Town Guy Who Before The Purge Knew a Spell Or Two #47, before ever reaching Uther in his royal chambers. (the show isn’t even clear, do the Dorocha infest only Camelot or roam in the whole world of the mortals? We aren’t told). Wanna feel sympathetic for the heart-of-gold, good, Disney’s Princess Morgause?

I’ll save us all some facepalm and not dwell into the altruistic feats of Morgana Pendragon, Your Unfriendly Neighborhood High Priestess Bravely Fighting Pendragon Tyranny For The Freedom* Of Magic Users** Since 500something  out of pity.

* Of Usurping Kingdoms And Kill Everyone Who Doesn’t Like Us Including People Who Didn’t Harm Me In The Least Hello Guinevere ** Whose Name Starts With Mor- And The Rest Can Die Like All Non-Magic Users I Don’t Care

(poor Morgana, BTW).

The Chata (Alator, who later is considered redeemed and on the “good side”) are known as “skilled at using magic to torture”. Torture.

I’ll stop here because I don’t want to pick the list of every magic user ìthat does villain things and analyze their actions as it would be a waste of time I guess, because the line of thought of the reblog above is that "magic villains" are freedom fighters, rebelling against the medieval Hitler, and so they’re automatically good. A typical white and black reasoning. Yoda would be much disappointed, because this is the reasoning of a Sith. Anakin Skywalker was my favorite even and ESPECIALLY in Episode III during the Padawan slaughter scene, but at least I was conscious that he was on the evil side, I never even thought to claim that, since he was terrified and angry (for the Jedi refusal to let him help Padmè, for not allowing him to help his mother in time) he had the right to do what he did to the Jedi Order. If Uther is evil then his enemies are automatically good, and every crime they commit is “for the greater cause” hence the blood spilled by them doesn’t count. First-class victims and second-class victims, your death matters only if you died by the hand of the person I perceive as more/the only evil of the two involved in the war. The kind of thinking that leads to say that, during a liberation war, it doesn’t matter if the civilians of the occupied country are raped, tortured or killed by the Partisan troops because hey, the Partisans are oppressed people fighting for freedom hence are the Good Ones, and the crimes for those who stand on the right side don’t matter. I dare you to say this line of thinking is ethically acceptable. Because this is what you’re saying, when you say that the sorcerers of Merlin (most of those shown to use magic to torture and kill) are terrified and angry and therefore entitled to do the crimes they do: you are saying that fighting for the rights of the minority and fighting against an oppressor, ultimately absolves you from any crime you commit. I am practicing a slaughter of innocent (civilians) people? It doesn’t matter, I am fighting against a genocide, don’t you see my pain?! The pain for the slaughter I endured is more important that the pain I inflict while I seek revenge!! What was that argument about 9/11 -> retaliation in Middle East -> it’s always wrong to kill innocent people to retaliate for dead people killed by Some Specific Person again because Some Specific Person operated, lived or was born in To-Be-Bombed Country? Are we really trying to say that, given that Uther is a tyrant, the magic users who employ terrorist tactics to take him down are right and excused? That someone that is(Kara) or perceives themselves(Morgana) as victim of a persecution because people like them has been slaughtered by X Country Leadership(Uther) has the right to become a terrorist and bomb the market of said country(Camelot) and kill innocent bystanders(Village people, Lower Town people, Citizens) or put a plan in motion to destroy the whole Country and all its people just to get revenge at X Country Leadership, when they could sneak into the castle (it isn’t hard, as shown too many times), kill X Country Leadership, your oppressor, and give the next king some time to see if he’ll change things?

Come on, two rugs can sneak into the castle posing as two knights to get revenge on the prince who had them wipe the floor during a tavern brawl, and an assassin, with no help of magic, can put a knife in the king’s belly, but powerful sorcerers have to resort to kill a guard, release deadly spirits or strike down village town people? And we are to find them sympathetic and believe they are on the right side? If they employ their plans that feature innocent victims, they cannot be considered good characters. It’s appalling to read a line as this one

But they’re (mostly) not bad, they’re terrified and angry and have every right and reason to be those things

while talking about people who are ready to use the innocent (and possibly more ignorant) people to achieve their goals, uncaring for the fate of those they will use.

And yes, Merlin is one of those: he did dreadful things. As Arthur. As Morgana. As Gwen (but at least she has the excuse she was under a powerful magic so it’s not her own volition).

And to think your part on Arthur’s arc is so, SO spot on.

Oh, and

or actually that the kingdom wasn’t evil before that (the Purge)

No. headcanon  ≠ canon.

Gaius explained that and what said Gaius, since it wasn’t contraddicted by anyone else, is canon. Gaius said that the time before Uther came to the throne wasn’t peaceful and that it was a time of chaos, and part of it was because of how non-regulated magic was. High Priestess created Lamias, played with Fomorroh, used the mandrake roots, witches cursed Freyases even before Evil Uther came and, out of pain for her lost wife, Went Mass-Murderer and sent his army against magic user. The kingdom wasn’t one giant Druid Camp before that. The Old Religion isn’t good. We can complain how the writers decided to depict and develop it, but we are shown that is funded on death, blood sacrifices, torture, evil creatures, deadly creatures, that is a ruthless force and knows no little clemency (when it does it’s usually because of its own reason, see the whole plot of The Disir). The dragons are unicorns who likes their scales to be petted, compared to all the rest we are shown about the Old Religion 

Anyway.

Uther is a villain, but this doesn’t excuse the other characters that the show RIGHTFULLY paints as villains for what they do.

I would feel a bit uneasy, taking the side of someone who uses and kills innocents on their path of revenge, but hey, that’s me. If that’s your cup of tea... enjoy drinking it.

Variety is the spice of life, someone wise said.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Here's the thing. Uther having nuance and being able to have complicated relationships, being able to love his children while also abusing them, isn't the issue. In fact, thats conceptually the gold standard of writing interesting villains. Its an opportunity to explore just how complex and insidious child abuse can be, and could lead into a narrative about how loving someone and being kind to them are not necessarily synonymous. (Reflected, perhaps, by Arthur's somewhat poor treatment of Merlin as a means to fuel Arthur's arc)

The issue is that the narrative treats Uther's complexity as a means to excuse the rest of his crimes. The show frames it as "yes he was a fascist, abusive tyrant who caused immeasurable death and suffering, but he loved Arthur so maybe he wasn't such a bad guy after all." Meanwhile other villains, despite being much more sympathetic, don't get this same level of apologism.

[flatsuke]

Six Times Voltage Inc Tugged at my Heartstrings

I’ve been playing Voltage games for about four years now, and I have to say, there were moments in certain routes that made me Feel Things™. Generally, Voltage games aren’t really known for being cynical or overly emotional. Heck, their games, while having some mature content, mostly have an optimistic feel to them. However, there were some moments in particular that stood out to me—those scenes were written powerfully enough to shake me to the core.

I have to admit, it was difficult for me to select a few moments from hundreds of routes, but I tried my best to narrow it down as much as I could.

Disclaimer:

I limited it to one character per game to avoid repetition.

I haven’t played every Voltage game (or route for that matter). The moments I’ve chosen only come from the games I’ve played.

I didn’t include SLBP because I only started getting into it recently (plus I don’t know too much about the other lords to make solid conclusions about them lmao).

This is all my personal opinion, so that means you probably won’t share the same views as I do, which is cool (I’d actually appreciate it if you told me what your favorite moments were :D).

Anyhow, let’s begin! (long post below):

1. Leon about to destroy literally everything in the world to save MC (Leon, Season 1 Main Story, Star-Crossed Myth)

Context: Even with Leon’s mark of sin erased, he was still put on trial by Zyglavis and the Department of Punishments because he broke a law that all gods must never break—he fell in love with a human. Still, Leon couldn’t help but love MC; it was her who taught him what love meant, and he wasn’t ready to part with that feeling. Zyglavis offers him an ultimatum—to kill MC and remain a god, or to renounce his godhood and never see MC again. Leon decides that none of those options are ideal, so he does what he thinks is best—that is, to destroy the heavens and rewrite everything so that MC wouldn’t have to be hurt by the gods anymore.

Why I liked this scene: This scene got me shook. Both in the literal and figurative sense, MC has become Leon’s world, Leon’s everything.

Leon has always been lonely at the top. He may have been the most powerful god next to the King, but ultimately, no one understood him. He may have been a wish-granting god, but humans didn’t mean much to him—they were sad, helpless little creatures who were blinded by love. Then comes along MC, who teaches him that even though human life is ephemeral, people make the most out of it to be happy. She shows him what love is—it isn’t a catalyst for demise, but rather, a source of strength. 

But to take her away from him after finally discovering these feelings? No, he wouldn’t allow that. 

Like I said before, I’m in complete awe at how deep his devotion runs for her. He would literally rewrite the universe just for her to be happy, and damn son, if that’s not dedication, I don’t know what is.

2. Issei allowing MC to carry out her revenge at the cost of his life (Issei Sezaki, Season 1 Main Story, Kiss of Revenge)

Context: MC and Issei have been dating for a while, but she’s conflicted between her growing love for him and her deep-rooted desire to avenge her mother’s death because of malpractice. For twelve long years, she’s worked her way into becoming a doctor at Ebisu General Hospital in order to carry out her revenge against the doctor that let her mother die—Issei. Of course, he’s known the whole time that MC’s been trying to plan her revenge, so he deliberately invites her over to his home, drugs himself with a strong sedative, leaves a knife on the kitchen counter, and basically allows her to kill him in hopes that she might find peace and that he may atone for his sins. 

Why I liked this scene: Kiss of Revenge is probably the most depressing Voltage game I’ve ever played. Its writing is superb, and the characterization is just phenomenal. But this scene in particular stole the show.

Issei’s just so…resigned to his fate. Like, he doesn’t care what happens to him so long as MC can achieve the revenge she so wished for. His love for her, coupled with his deep-seated, excruciating guilt, makes him willing to give up everything for her and take the blame for it all. He knows how long she’s suffered because of him, and he all he wants is for her to be free from the pain, and wow my heart hurt reading his entire route. Two broken characters brought together by unfortunate circumstances, only to endure even more heartache…

3. Koichi’s confession in the rain (Koichi Natsukawa, Another Story, In Your Arms Tonight)

Context: So in Koichi’s Another Story,  MC and Koichi have finished their collaborative exhibit, and they make plans to meet the next week for a date. At this point in time, the MC is slowly falling for him despite her initial bad impression of him. Fast forward, MC sees him with Ai, and MC is shocked because Koichi had said he already broke up with Ai. So yeah, misunderstanding ensues, and MC is hurt and doesn’t want to see him again. He tries to contact her many times, only for him to get turned down . Over time, she realizes that Koichi never lied to her; he did break up with Ai waaaaay back, and he even defended her at his workplace’s award ceremony when someone tried to harass her. She eventually decides to confess to him and thank him for everything, but she sees that he’s engaged to someone else. In the end, she doesn’t tell him her feelings and wishes him well with his fiancee. Of course, Koichi is in love with MC, so he goes all the way to her house, apologizes to her, and confesses how he really feels.

Why I liked this scene: I think I’ve mentioned a billion times before that IYAT is my favorite game and Koichi is my number one bias lmao. 

Anyway, this is the scene that puts Koichi at the top of my bias list. He started out as a cold, cynical character who saw marriage as a means to an end. Throughout his route however, he spends more time with MC and learns that relating with people isn’t just transactional and utilitarian. She shows him what a partnership, and by extension, a relationship means—two people supporting each other unconditionally. Here, he lets go of all his past inhibitions and just decides to be honest with her. He knows he doesn’t deserve her, he knows he’s not the best person, but he still wants a chance to prove that he can make her happy because, above all, he loves her.

4. Eisuke’s birthday 2017 (Eisuke Ichinomiya, Happy Birthday Eisuke 2017, Kissed by the Baddest Bidder)

Context: MC and the other bidders throw a party for Eisuke’s birthday, and she tells him how grateful she is that he exists and that she’d be with him no matter what.

Why I liked this scene: It was difficult for me to pick one from KBTBB because honestly, there were a lot of moments I loved. Eventually, I had to choose this one because it summed up what I love the most about Eisuke and MC’s relationship—both of them fill in each other’s gaps and support each other unconditionally, albeit in different ways. She can see through him, his flaws, his fears, and she accepts all of him wholeheartedly. He, on the other hand, is in awe; no one has ever bothered to look beyond the surface except her, and for that, words can’t express how thankful he is that she came into his life. 

He’s a bit more subtle in expressing his gratitude, but when he does, I just melt every damn time.

5. MC showing her resolve to Okita (Soji Okita, Act I Main Story, Era of Samurai: Code of Love)

Context: So after having a confrontation with the Choshu ronin and Maro at the Ikeda-ya, Okita and the Shinsengumi arrive in the nick of time to save her. After Okita kills Maro and the other ronin, he tries to distance himself from her once more, saying people like him aren’t meant to be with people like her. For the longest time, he’s been drenched in blood, and he doesn’t want her to live in a world like that. However, MC steels her resolve and tells him that none of that matters. To her, Okita is more than the murderer he paints himself to be, and that she won’t pry her eyes from the reality he has to live with. 

Why I liked this scene: Now this is the definition of a strong, well-written protagonist. MC stole the fucking show, and I had to applaud at how real she was. She didn’t try to overlook his past, nor did she try to pretend that nothing was wrong. She simply accepted Okita’s role in the reality of the Shinsengumi and decided she would make the most out of it. She doesn’t try to change him either; all she does is highlight what strengths he already has and tells him how much she loves him for it.

6. Asahi and MC’s reunion (Asahi Kakyouin, Forbidden Route, My Wedding and 7 Rings)

Context: After exposing his father’s corporate crimes to everyone at Sanno Corporation’s alleged final board meeting, Asahi, after his family’s humiliation, disappears for a while to a remote town from his childhood. MC, for weeks, tries to track him down, which she eventually does with Kai’s help. She eventually finds him in a quaint town, working at the fishing docks, and all she can do in her unadulterated happiness is hug him; despite everything they’ve been through, the fact that they’re together again is all that matters. 

Why I liked this scene: I never thought this guy, of all people, would manage to make it to the list lmao… but seriously, his Forbidden Route surprised me with how good it was.

He starts off as an arrogant, selfish egoist who doesn’t understand how his actions ultimately affect others. Over time though, he spends time with MC, lives with her for a while, and comes to discover what he had been missing all his life—the warmth of another person. He’s awkward at discovering his own feelings, but he resolutely decides to live by them. He sacrifices everything he once believed in (ruthlessness, cold efficiency) to uphold what he now believes is right (fairness, selflessness). When he sees MC again, he’s so humbled that she still wants to be with even after he threw everything away, and my heart couldn’t take how much he’s changed since the beginning.

In terms of character development, Asahi takes the cake.