#perhaps the best day of my life
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Guess who met Alex Brightman motherfuckers
But no seriously this was like brain chemistry altering holy fuck
#alex's reaction:#'holy fucking shit. jesus christ.'#perhaps the best day of my life#fanart#art#artists on tumblr#traditional art#oil painting#acrylicpainting#acrylic painting#acrylics#oils#painting#beetlejuice broadway#beetlejuice musical#beetlejuice#beetlejuice cosplay#beetlejuice fanart#beej
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Between Sonic and Tails, who do you think would end up confessing their feelings first?
Good question. Definitely depends upon the iteration and context, but for the most part (at least in my head) getting either of them to confess (and in some cases even ruminate on their feelings and admit to themselves the nature of them) is hard
Like, for example, I personally think that game!Sonic (and post sgw Archie Sonic and IDW Sonic) kind of take Tails' presence for granted in a way. To them, it will always be the two of them (Sonic and Tails). The ideal future is that they keep on hanging out and still fight side by side sometimes and that even if Sonic goes it alone he can always come back from his adventures to chill with Tails or crash at his place. In other words, in Sonic's fantasies of the future, things like getting married or raising families or anything like that are just kind of tacked on as something that will just kind of be true at best and ignored at worst. If he even considers a future where things are a bit different because Tails is together™ with someone, to him it's only natural that Tails would be in his life the same way and nothing would really change. And so to that end, even if Sonic DOES realize his own feelings, he probably wouldn't see any good reason to confess. It would make things more complicated, especially if Tails doesn't share those feelings, and he doesn't have to worry anyways because Tails will always prioritize the two of them and be at his side, right?
And then it's even worse for versions of Sonic more akin to, say, pre sgw Archie Sonic. This is because in addition to the already existing unwillingness to change things and the assumption that he doesn't ever have to worry about no longer being the center of Tails' world (or a major figure in it at least), there is some palpable internalized homophobia within that hedgehog with an added complexity. For Archie Sonic in particular, I think even if he realized that he wanted to even be with Tails forever in a strictly non brothers fashion, he would feel mixed feelings about that (perhaps that coming out about it would ruin things or make things weird, or that getting together with Tails at any point would deprive him of "normalcy", or that he'd pressured Tails into it, or even just weird or a bit creepy).
As for Tails, I actually think that most iterations of him have figured their feelings out by this point. In all honesty, there's only so long you can go on fixating on someone and admiring them, and structuring your life around them before you realize your "I want to be with them" isn't just about simply admiring them. It's just that Tails' main obstacle to me is the avoidance of ruining anything.
On one hand, there's Sonic's avoidance to being tied down. We've seen time and time again Sonic rejecting people who pursue him openly or looking uncomfortable with them. Archie Sonic in particular made it clear that this version of Sonic couldn't stand the idea of not being able to freely be himself or adventure. He couldn't stand the idea of having to tie himself down and taking on extra responsibilities and expectations simply because he's with someone. I can see Tails being afraid that by confessing, he could scare Sonic away. If he happened to confess and Sonic thought Tails meant to stifle him or Sonic felt uncomfortable by that open expression, wouldn't that risk their relationship? Even if Sonic wouldn't go so far as to drop him as a best friend (which he never would do that for the record), there's still real fear in making things weird or different between himself and Sonic.
And that feeds right into the other hand. On the other hand, Sonic probably doesn't see him that way, right? Though Sonic is special to him and Sonic also cares for him back, at best Sonic has never thought about it and never will, or he just wouldn't feel the same (in Tails' eyes). With Archie Tails in particular, even if Tails gets over his own interlized homophobia about it and recognizes his feelings for what they are, he probably feels that there's no way to be anything different than a brother to Sonic, and thus confessing would be a terrible move. If Tails confesses and Sonic doesn't feel the same, it also runs the risk of making things weird between them or (in Tails' eyes) ruining it.
All this to say that my general opinion is that as long as things stay exactly the way they are forever, even if they start spending even more time together, I find it hard to believe either of the two will opt into confessing on purpose
But, with that being said, a confession is not an impossibility. I don't think either of the two are immune to being put in a position where they finally confess (and no, with the state of things for them, simply saying "I love you" will not count as a confession). And if we barred situations where like. They're literally about to die or one can do anything they like without the other (or themselves) remembering the outcome, I actually can give you an answer
And honestly, if one of them had to confess eventually, I believe it would probably end up being Sonic.
Why? Well, out of the two, Tails actually sits back and thinks about his emotions more often than not. I think even before he figured out the exact nature of his feelings he knew he felt very strongly for Sonic. But, no matter which media you're touching upon, I feel as if Tails fits into that archetype of "person who has been in love with their best friend since literally forever, but knows their best friend will never feel the same". The longer Tails ruminates on these feelings, the stronger he feels them, the more he watches Sonic (especially as someone who cares about plenty of people other than him), the more time he spends with Sonic, the less incentivized he feels to actually confess. Especially if Sonic would never feel the same, the best Tails can hope for is that things stay the same between them and Sonic never replaces his role.
Or in short, Tails is so in his head about it at this point, it's very hard to convince him that confessing is ever a good idea or necessary.
But while Tails is more obviously attached to Sonic, Sonic is much less obviously attached to Tails and other people as a whole. With him being "free as the wind" and the kind of figure he is, he kind of benefits from having the persona of a guy who doesn't need his friends but (nevertheless) can be assisted by them. He probably seems cool for being so strong and independent while equally caring that people live. But this doesn't mean Sonic doesn't have attachments (far from it). Rather, for Sonic, his attachments to others seem to naturally grow. And the more time he spends with them, the more he grows used to their presence. And especially with someone like Tails, who has been around as his companion the longest, he doesn't sit around long enough to consider that Tails would ever leave his side. Once he grows used to that person, he doesn't have to recognize his attachment or even think about the nature of his own feelings because it is and always has been whatever it is. So, in other words, even if he becomes more and more reliant on the fact that Tails will always be around or that Tails will always assist him, he doesn't have to admit more than "This is what our best friendship is. This is what it's like"
All of this is to say that while my idea of present Tails would be trying to do anything in his power to stay with Sonic (as long as Sonic is willing of course), even if that means never confessing the exact nature of his feelings for the hedgehog, Sonic isn't already thinking about these things. This means that while Tails has very few pathways to confession, Sonic has plenty!...if you scare him well enough.
For example, Idw Sonic has been more clearly spending more time with Tails (even baseline just. Crashing at his place more often) after the metal virus arc. Couple this with post neo metal incident 2 electric boogaloo idw Sonic who just wants to have a break and live peacefully for a minute, this is a Sonic who has become scared enough to want to indulge in spending more time with Tails. I also think that post Sonic Prime Sonic is also a version of him who would start to spend more time with Tails than before after having already lost him and having to deal with the Tails shaped hole in his life once.
So, if you got a Sonic to the point where he'd fully accepted his feelings and he felt like confessing them would be necessary to secure the future he wants, then he'd confess. Honestly, the easiest way I'd see this going about would be a story where Tails is framed as leaving him to go do something or be somewhere else, away for Sonic, possibly indefinitely, or if Sonic actually has to spend enough time without Tails after initially telling himself his own feelings wouldn't matter so long as Tails is happy wherever he is. But, if it came down to confessing being something that might actually bring Sonic to his desired future (especially if Tails rejecting him is no different from prolonging the separation they already have if he says nothing), then I think he could work up the courage to do it.
And in the end...I think it has to be Sonic. Although I on occasion enjoy fantasizing about moments where Tails can't take it anymore and confesses, only for Sonic to realize his own feelings in the process, I think that Sonic would have to be the one who confesses his feelings/wishes for the future for Tails to even believe that his pipe dreams are a possibility. I think it's Sonic who would need to pull Tails out of his head, because the probability that Tails works up the courage to confess is more unlikely.
So...yeah. In my head, Sonic is driven to a point where he confesses and pulls Tails out of his head about it.
#sonic the hedgehog#tails the fox#miles tails prower#sontails#unbreakable bond#i just be ramblin#flashoneonetwo interview#long post#In all honesty#I think what's most likely for them (best case at least) is a kind of future where they're more domestic partners who also go on adventures#than anything#Or basically...things are kind of as they are now they've just been growing closer still?#And without intervention or conflict in the form of moving on or adding other people to the mix that may replace the other's standing in#their lives any way‚ I can honestly see them never truly confessing or recognizing their relationship for what it is#But then again perhaps if the stars aligned and they borderline had a married with kids relationship and Sonic started joking about them#being together only to realize the truth™ then maybe a confession is in order?#Yeah.#On the bright side‚ even if they never confess‚ at least the two of them could be happy and also be happy and content being as they are as#best friends as long as they're by each other's sides and have each other's back forever#And with this as a possibility‚ even I would not be sad if there wasn't an outright confession#After all...who needs words when you're living your truest life without them?#Anywho#Thank you so much for the ask!#I must admit that I initially was gonna talk about different iterations of them and how a confession may go‚ but in the end I ended up#explaining my sort of collective sontails thoughts/the general interpretations I have of them#While it is my interpretation/opinion at the end of the day though it does touch my heart that you'd want to know😂😊#If you do end up having any other questions pertaining to these two and my opinions/readings or anything else‚ do always feel free to shoot#me another ask!!😊
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I have seen a wild amount of people complaining about the context of Wind Breaker and how "unrealistic" it is for the characters to go to school but without any teachers or adults being shown or protecting them and... First of all, realism is not what you're going to find reading a Shonen and if you want a full-on high school experience, read another manga. It is very common to skip those details as a writer because they are not interesting in the slightest and they have confirmed multiple times that all of their grades are awful, so you won't get a silly little arc about them studying, because they directly don't. To say it is "unrealistic" is to ask for boring, pointless, plotless occurrences in a Shonen manga about fighting. Are people even hearing themselves when they complain?
But it's not only from a writer's perspective skipping what's unimportant that justifies the lack of teachers and responsible adults, but the plot itself. At first, it is confusing, but I think you only have to look a bit deeper into the cultural context of the story to understand why there aren't teachers/adults shown.
I'm around chapter 100, so I am not sure this gets explained further in the manga, but my theory as to why they behave this way is pretty simple, honestly: They are poor and in ruins, and adults with the power to change things do not care about them. Easy as that.
Whether it is real or just an exaggeration of what's actually going on, it has been shown countless times (especially in Umemiya's backstory, explaining directly how authorities don't care about the kids or anybody, really) that the whole city is made for outcasts and left to rot by the government. It is not some apocalyptic bullshit, it is stuff that happens every goddamn day in real life. They go to school but they aren't shown studying and the place itself is a mess. We only see Umemiya running the school but it is confirmed that there's staff and somebody grading them somehow, despite never being shown studying or doing anything other than patrolling. But they have shown us that the city used to be extremely problematic and chaotic and only recently have things started to change for the better. Most villains and even main characters are orphans and live on their own. There's a whole arc about a group of kids being left to rot in poverty without any means to study or live a normal life. Even our main character lives on his own in a horrendous apartment. Like--
I believe you have to be blind to not see that, if this isn't just literally some people turning their backs against poor kids in a place in ruins, it is at least an exaggeration of these things happening in real life. Because they could have classes and teachers and everything you want in the manga to make it more realistic, but this is, after all, from the perspective of teenagers who can't rely on anybody but themselves. There's only so much a teacher can do, and we know most of them do nothing for these kids. So if it is "unrealistic" perhaps you aren't aware of what damn hyperboles and metaphors are, but this is from the students' points of view, and when you live in a place like this, it doesn't matter how many teachers there are or police, because they won't help. So they are directly erased from the story to be replaced with Sakura's point of view of Umemiya running the whole place.
So I think that instead of looking for realistic interpretations of their high school experience, perhaps you should empathize a little with the actual real high school experiences of people like them.
#'they are fighting and the police doesn't do anythin-' the police never gives a fuck the police has never given a single fuck#i have seen people get killed in my street and robbed and raped every day and the police have never done a thing please grow up#'where are the teachers!' well maybe they do try to teach but when the kids aren't being taught how to live they don't give a single fuck#perhaps that is why they follow only umemiya have you perhaps considered that#you could also say the author skips these things to not make it boring or idkk maybe the city itself funds these kids#but i believe it is just the representation of sakura's pov being left behind by every adult in his life#i am not in these kids' place luckily but i also don't live in the best district and it IS dangerous to walk around on my own#and police or adults have never done a single thing to fix that#so i understand where the story is coming from and why the school in this manga is this way#anywayyyy people are soo boring perhaps the manga only wants to tell you the interesting stuff#if they talked about them trying to graduate THAT would be unrealistic bc they don't care and also you'd be BORED#people learn how to read between the lines i am begging you oh lord#wind breaker#wind breaker (satoru nii)
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ARC V MERCH ARC V MERCH ARC V MERCH
They used ed 6 im crying 🥺😭😭😭 we finally gonna have merch of the main ships
(ESP YURISERE—im sorry u can't shut me up for this lemme celebrate—THEY HAVE YURISERE MERCH LETS GOOOOO)
#arc v#yugioh arc v#this on of the best days of my life frfr#one*#ineed em all 🥺#perhaps one day#BUT LOOK THEY ALSO MADE YU BOY & DRAGON STANDEES#...yurisere in dl doesnt seem too far-fetched anymore... 🥹🥹#predatorshipping#fruitshipping#fallenangelshipping#appleshipping
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ADAPTIVE WATERSKIING
#the body#PUT THAT THANG IN A CONTRAPTION#best day of my life perhaps#THE WATER WOULD SPLASH IN MY FACE IT RULED#the entire time i was :D and giggling like an idiot#adaptive sports#recreation therapy#rec therapy#disability#disabled#cripple#cripplepunk#arthritis#enthesitis related arthritis#idk man ive never met someone w my type so maybe thisll help
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I’m writing my Hazbin Hotel s/i as a reader insert story with different chapters for different characters and I think I’m going to make it a readers request things on AO3 kind of deal, like you choose who hires the ‘reader’ next as a domme and then you get to read about it
I’m 11,000 words in and I started with Angel Dust because it made the most sense for my character’s starting point, and I’m having a ton of fun honestly (and also kind of traumatized myself but it’s ok that’s part of fanfiction writing)
I’m going to post the first chapter tomorrow: should I link it here as well or just post it on ao3 and see what happens?
#also i’m still super sick#it’s been like a whole week and my head still feels stuffed with cotton balls#and also I can’t talk#so that’s why I’m not blogging very much#I’m tired and sick and writing 3k words a day of my silly hazbin fic#that’s my life#I dunno if it’s any good because as I said I am very tired and sick and perhaps delirious#but maybe it’s my best work#hark I say nothing
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I made a meme do you leik it :)
#i am SUFFERING out here#i have a presentation and essay for one module a presentation for another module and an object to make with a 1000 word explanation??#for another module all due within the next two weeks#and i am unable to get out of bed 👍🏻#fantastic timing dont you think#theres been trouble with my antidepressents so im off those too which ahahahahah doesnt help#and i cant got to the doctors for them cause ill have to fight for it and then that will give them reason to not give me testosterone in#december when im due to get it cause im 'unstable' and my doctors surgery isnt very fond of me starting anyway#im not about to give them a reason to stop me from getting the perscription#so ive just got to fucking raw dog life for the first time since i was 16 how great#no i cannot complete these very important assignments that count towards my degree im trying not to throw myself into oncoming traffic soz#and also trying to manage to feed myself and perhaps leave my bedroom for a total of five minutes at least a day#this has not been entirely achievable but yk im doing my best 😀👍🏻#depressive episode#did any of yall see those two girls with a podcast that said i love my mental illness it makes me who i am#because i think about those two far too often and im so glad everyone was in the comments so much so they deleted the video lmfao cause bro#depression#can suck my dick#in a bad way
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(genderly) chill as hell if i was only ever glimpsed / detected like this
#Shrouded In A Rectangle neither sleeves nor an open front to be besieged with? yes#just doing whatever else like doesn't matter. tee cargo shorts which is my best guess rn of my ideal outfit. + sandals Absolutely#unfortunately my hair could never do that. somehow neither am i yet like forties fifties? have i not been at this for eons?#i Can be like uh let's just nobody talk to me i'm busy pensively perceiving truths that you don't ever actually wanna hear about#just the other day it was like hey....a [way Having To Talk could be a difficulty / problem] was under my nose in this lifelong pattern#certainly noticing the Verbal Exchange Demand heaped upon burnout as like [delay delay delay struggle weariness stress]#but also who knows like spent plenty of time just probably indeed Not having to have such exchanges while burned out. not noting them#anyway like this isn't even [dysphoric Ideal Outfit until i could [whatever supposed even more ideal than that gender euphoria]]#though shoutout to that but like nah get shrouded anyway. the only [how do i look] im motivated to consider is: when it's a costume#when it's just me it's like. i guess whatever pants and a comfortable enough tee. need glasses. hair's w/e so cut quite short ig#might accessorize w/things that are fun to me like hey yeah yknow i might want a calculator watch#[yea as a kid it was like :( im actively appreciating the animals supposedly Gross or Bad] if i had hated little friends Sure yaay#if i had disorienting light effects like a pelagic creature. but you don't even need that. like hey i'm nd in real life. i got it#chat i'm in the walls too bestie lmao. if only my bigfoot pose reference Step was this good#tl;dr long rephrasing of my being like; now the gender slay....#& nodding & Noting when [worksheet exercise: what's your gender euphoria look?] is like shrug idk. but this is serving maximally to me; so#going Chat how can i up my uncanny stats. looking up ''isn't it like Uncanny knowledge e.g. so like why not....canny''#but i think the un canny is the Uncanniness Accuser's perspective. not of My ken. your literal weird one maybe#so again apt to be like jk i'm just autistic & shit; i got it....horror shit challenge impossible: Don't have sm typical mundane#[disability moment] as like Unsettling danger/malice cues. challenge impossible; again#subverted here like as [horror holding hands touching foreheads w/comedy] w/o Rescinding just casual disabled behavior/qualities#just remembered like three witches weird sisters etc macbeth. weird uncanny soothsaying gendering. word#anyway i should be shrouded (made no any connection whenever i put the blanket now over my head & shoulders in place min ago)#perhaps the real Ideal Look insight: i do not have any way i wish to be observed by people. secret passages / removed room anytime
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gonna keep it shmoovin man
#just me hi#i have a piece i was working on last night that i realized after i didn't have my computer could actually be Much more accurate to my ideaa#but that means i gotta scrap some stuff. sigh ᴗ.ᴗ#also i couldn't get around to readin my thing yesterday cuz my focus was shot for some reason lmao <//3#i would open the thing and then just start. driiiifting away kfshvg#//anyway idk what happened but why have i started to miss Gs at the end of my words Lmfhvaf#i already do that in real life we don't needa do that here too kfshvh#'asz wu' 'm sayin man !!' <- my engrish :3#i do like it though i think it's fun :> but my typingggg not you too kfsvhg#//anywho i've got a $1.75 thing i'm workin on :D#it's gonna hopefully be the third part to those last two i did for that thing#which goes adoration -> devotion -> guess hfh :3#i'm normal abt these guys. [places them in a lunchbox and throws it into the river to watch the bubbles] yea :)#//anyway Wednesday#not the best of the week days i will not lie#like you're stuck between the beginning and the end and it's just got that undecided feeling to it ykno what i mean pfshv#//also LMAO i've been calling feet/foot 'peets/poot' bc i think it's goofy and i don't like the F sound#and i got leo into saying it and he was talkin to somebody and had to explain what it was Lmfhjshfg#my infec- influence is spreading. influence. that's what i said#my woerds: peet. poot. tomach. shnoze. ham. heed. fingaa. ect ect#//ouhhh my collarbone keeps making these snappy noises when i pull my shoulders back#it's only occasional but holy shizz it's loud sometimes. like 'when we're in church i think you can hear it 4 pews back' loud khgsfjhfvjg#//ANYWAY i was mentioning wednesday earlier cuz it's not the best of days on the week (we know this) but i wanna go skating </3#'why isn't wednesday good for that' because it's the middle of the week. [gesturing]#i can't explain it but things need to happen on- Oo i like this songgggkkggg- either weekends or the other 4 days of the weekday#wednesday is for appointments you really don't want. i'm sorry but it's a filler day <//3#which means no happenings on a wednesday. it's illegal. that's right. Illegal#even thursday is iffy man. tuesday? tuesday is your last-chance stop. perhaps i do have thoughts about silly things Kfhvsjhgsf#nobody tell leo he's tryna get me for having a weird brain. the sentence is 5000 years of i-told-you 😔 Lmaooo#//OKAY i think i'm outta tags tho lemme say ciao here loll :3 toodles tooooodles !!! <3
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not me hearing in the morning at work that a “korean celebrity of thai origin will be coming by today” and thinking it can’t possibly be bambam, there’s no way…and it actually turns out to be him…
#found out early on it was him because he was followed by a mob of fans…#my heart jumped out#literally was hot and sweating after meeting him#best day of my life? perhaps#got7#got7 bambam#bambam
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i don't understand why some people care so much about living as long as possible. "follow this diet designed to help you live past 100" in this economy?
#like literally after idk 80 or so wyd. my body already hurts at age 26 i imagine it gets significantly worse why would you want to prolong?#unfortunately my mother's side of the family is pretty long lived.... however my father did die early. maybe it will balance out#depends when the family aneurysm hits me ig#also like my whole childhood my mother was obsessed with Eating Healthy and longevity etc girl youre supposed to believe jesus is coming#in the next few years so why do you care about achieving old age 🤨 almost like that's an insane thing to believe#but growing up like that made me kind of blase about it i guess. and i kind of feel like most of the possibilities for living in old age are#.....not optimistic......particularly when youre not rich#and those possibilities do not seem to be improving#idk what my mother is going to do when she gets older shes made afaik zero plans for this on account of being certain that Jesus is Coming#any day now.#i'm certainly not going to be responsible for her or her shit idiot boyfriend so her best shot is my brother who has a better relationship#with her (not saying much) and obviously is more financially stable etc but like he has kids and a life lmao so idk#perhaps one day she will consider that the lord is not descending from the clouds in her lifetime but i'm not counting on it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#i understand my brother tried to talk to her about it once and she refused to discuss it lmao like ok deny your mortality at your leisure#death will wait. :)#me
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Cozytober - Day 26 - Catnap
#Cozytober#Margot's RF Art#rune factory#rf1#rf#This sketch was actually done back on June 6th of this year. I was knee deep in my Seattle vacation planning/stress and never finished it--#I think I'd just found Home Run Derby tickets finally?? Or not long after that. And I was still scared to death I was making a mistake.#Silly past Margot! It was the best day of your life!#So I remember I did this sketch as just general human pose practice after someone else did the 'tree nap' pose of their OCs.#And so I grabbed it for today's prompt because!! I still liked how the anatomy turned out!#Context my brain goes with;#if I subscribe to the 'Raguna on the run from the Empire' theory then I strongly lean toward the Lynette pairing.#Safe life in Kardia- doesn't feel like the right context most of the time. Not bad. Just. Not as interesting a story.#On the run- This feels like just... a smart choice. Group up once those Empire targeting efforts escalate.#Perhaps he has to deal with the painful compromise and necessity of her lethality because he might be more likely to survive#And he WANTS to survive#AKA- if you can escape. Escape. He's good at it. But if the situation comes down to it.... Lynette can make sure who walks out.#And to reverse the pov- maybe a bit of atonement on her part? All the blood is only on her hands. She'll keep it that way. Let her do that.#He shouldn't have to. It's all her fault anyway.#Also please laugh at me as it took me half an hour to remember the word COMPROMISE. I was so mad.#Rune Factory Raguna#RF Raguna#Rune Factory Lynette#RF Lynette#another ship tag to fill#Raguna x Lynette
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a shadow of the woman i was at the start of the weekend reporting to you live on race day (the f3 car is a paid actor)
#the hair is Dead#the mirror for my makeup Shattered on thursday#the knees are Bruised from stacking it coming out of my tent#i have perhaps never looked worse but#best four days of my life!!!!!#nicole goes silvo 2.0 x
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Random small talk event at the yard sard set-up, very nice lady, but ESP when asking "Oh are you still in school? ☺️" I literally never know how to say "Oh I graduated a long time ago. Yeah. I mostly do art now" and she says "Oh to sell?" and so far I'm having a reasonable and effective small talk conversation, when I hit that pitfall and lock up and I worry I'm becoming unfriendly bc I locked up. Because I REALLY don't know how to say, "Nah, I kind of do fuck all. I'm 25 and I do fuck all. For nothing." Like I can see the conversation tree in real time and I know that's the worst dialogue option. And there are no other dialogue options there's just Press B to get the fuck outta there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#MAN........#like it was inconsequential but always. when i have these interactions and esp when i come out the other side thinking#'yeah that wasn't my best work. i hope they don't think i dislike them or that i was inconsistent'#always. i'm just. failing Badly. at even the most basic human rituals.#a lot a small talk discourse fails to understand that it's free dialogue options. if you. have the knowledge of the dialogue options.#but i'm stuck between a quick time event and my knee-jerk reaction to answer honestly (but How Honestly????)#and i'm also observing my neighbor's old man humor and scripts that are always a hit and i'm like. hm. interesting....#if perhaps i can replicate such a thing........#can somebody please for the love of god help me. every day i wake up and i'm autistic.#'inconsistent' ???? inconsiderate. hello#idk maybe both can work. 20 regular interactions in w me things are going swimmingly we're good acquaintances ect ect#i can still just fully forget how to be a person and i clam up and get impersonal and curt.#it's literally no ones fault. i'd dare even say it's not even my own fault. it's just. the autism experience.#also something something there should be more scripts for people who haven't achieved certain milestones in life#an easy way to say 'yeah i barely graduated highschool and i never went to college and i can't hold a job and i live w my dad#and i don't mix my passions w profit bc it's the primary way i regulate myself and it's all about my special interest anyway#AND i'm 25. so. real catch of a guy here tbh'#please for the love of god Help Me.
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degrading ability to spell, type, and think of appropriate words is a strange indicator of migraine to me that i cannot think too much about because that's scary. but also i guess drs are trained to not show 'that's scary' so they don't freak patients out but i feel like some things could use a bit of 'that's scary' from a medical professional. for me personally.
#this may be the autism but when i talk about stuff like 'i only have energy to leave the house once a week and sometimes i can't#type proficiently because my brain is melted and this was happening most days (pre-migraine treatment)' they are just like#*writes it in the notes*. NO-ONE has been like 'OH that sounds like a challenging thing to deal with! how is that affecting your life?'#and okay that's fine i'll do the bringing of 'how that is affecting my life' so they can appreciate the scale of the issue from my pov but#i guess the validation of a professional would be nice :P and preferably some freaking TIPS OR TREATMENTS.#without me having to do all the leg work. but that's fine. that's okay. i'll do the legwork. i can make things better and i can present#a plan to a dr like 'so here's the info i have how does this treatment plan sound to you' if i must.#i do feel like i am perhaps though. as the one with no medical training. not the best suited for suggesting how to diagnose and deal with#the medical problems though. u know. much to consider.
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driving up 2 my uni city on friday n moving into my new uni room in my new house...cant wait 2 decorate it i have such a plan i have posters i am so so excited.... : ^ )
#havent seen my room yet in person!! i couldnt make it 2 the viewing and well since our backup plan was 2 live in a seven person#tent on the downs because housing was so hard 2 come by...i did then go to visit the house on another day and though the girls who let#us look around were very very lovely to do so they DID misinform regarding the fact that there was no one else in the house but them#so when my friend tried to have a look in what would be my room she accidentally walked in on a bloke in bed xx ANYWAY ive seen#pictures and videos its going to be so cute its got a slant roof a little loft room...goign 2 have a double bed for thee first time in my#life...ive got so many things to put on the walls...i want to get candles wasnt allowed candles in the old room....might even get#one of those little trolleys those trolley shelved things? for a bookshelf#or plants perhaps...its going to be the best room ever i think personally considering what i had to work with last year i did very well and#this room is far cuter...yay....#(ridi's) bigmouth strikes again
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