#perhaps it'll end with my own hand

[anyu-blue]

~

It was worse today, oddly. I got through. Convinced myself that using the 2 hours of protected time I have saved wasn’t worth using to go in later. Better to just work the whole day and get the pay. Normally the next day is better. I don’t feel as bad because I’ve slept and ebbed some of the pain away and it’s helped some part of my brain be okay too... but it wasn’t better. It was so hard to get through and I’m honestly surprised at how hard. My coworkers definitely could tell something was off and kept bugging me with mundane stuff just to talk and have me talk back. It was kind and I am grateful for their care in whatever capacity they can spare it. I used my earbuds and music to get my mind away as much as I could too... and still by the end of the day it wasn’t enough. I was in so much agony I refused to keep pushing to do the last two boxes where normally I would have tried. I took pain meds. I took extra kinds too and extra measures to avoid as much backlash as I could in all areas... still not enough. I’m a little worried that whatever that thing I had for so long that kept me going when I hit rock bottom is gone now. Cuz I’d fall so very, very far... lose all faith and hope.. and then suddenly I was ANGRY and then HAPPY because SPITE appeared out of nowhere and I had a new vigor and lease on life. .. I’m worried that won’t happen again... after my sister took everything out of me when we moved and with this tiredness only appearing to grow and grow... I don’t know that it’ll come to save me.. or if I’ll come to my own rescue like that again or whatever it is. I know leaving would hurt them.. those who claim to love me. I know. But, as ever... that little voice in the back of my head keeps telling me all the ways they took me for granted when I COULD provide their lives with something and they would absolutely be 100% fine without me. 99% of the people in my life don’t reach out first. They don’t reach out at all but are happy to tell me they’re disappointed I don’t reach out more... when I do and then am ignored, given the minimum of small talk, or am (rightfully) told they don’t have the time to be friendly at the moment. Life’s too busy for friends... especially strange ones that can’t seem to succeed in life like they have or are trying to. I have no interest in classes. I have no interest in memberships. I have very little interest in even going out especially because I’m much more comfortable wearing a mask wherever I go. I know a big part of that disinterest is because, well.. my health. Classes and gym memberships are supposed to be great to help with stuff like that... but when I get stressed in the right ways (or overdo it especially on accident from unexpected life stuff) my internals overwork and start attacking themselves, making it difficult to attend classes or make the memberships worth the cost if I can’t go/am glued to the porcelain throne and a diet not meant to help anything but get by- bare minimum for ease on system. It’s easier to not want to do it than deal with the struggles and the shame of not being able to show up... everyone everywhere gets tired of it eventually. I am trying to do what I can at home. I’m not just sitting on my ass... I still practice what Physical therapy I remember/have the sheets for... I got a small pedal bike to replace my big one I can no longer use thanks to the space issues (I’m playing with it under my desk as I type)... I like yoga when I have the energy for it. And walks. And I have invited people to go with me to the park (I don’t feel right being an adult going on my own so every ‘no’ makes me very sad, sadly).. I broke down and bought myself $160 shoes (I’m still freaking out.. TOO MUCH MONEY) to try and help with the pain so maybe I CAN just go and be on my feet on my own more outside of work... I know what foods to avoid and keep on hand to help myself, by myself... *sigh* ... but it’s just not good enough. It’s NEVER going to be good enough for anyone else. I’m told as long as it’s good enough for me that’s what matters... but I am already so alone... and I also know how bad that is. Loneliness can kill. And that not a soul does what I did for them for so long... not one of them sees how unfair it is that I HAVE to be the one to reach out/ask (legit told by my adopted parents that if I desire a relationship with them or my siblings at all *I* must be the one to reach out to them and plan events and work around their lives... I told them then and there that it works both ways. I will do it when I can... but if it is not returned, it will obviously stop. I am more a mirror now that I ever was. I give what I get. I do not have the energy to do it all anymore.... and I’m not given any by others to then give back to them).. and they never will first. It’s my fault... I had the energy at one point. I did it all. Worked multiple jobs so I could. Attended events, planned, got people together, tried and tried and tried and tried so hard for so many years to be heard and understood and to understand and I succeeded in understanding!! .... but I failed in being understood...and then I collapsed in on myself... I failed to have the energy to keep going... everyone tells me that even asking a fraction of what I did out of the kindness of my heart back is asking way too much. Not a soul can reciprocate. Not even remembering my favorite color... or date of birth... not even saving it in their phones. Well... they don’t have that energy for me. I see them doing it for others. People they love and enjoy the company of (and some they don’t but have reasons to want to impress or stay in good graces of)... and that’s where all their energy goes. Nothing left for weird ‘ol me. Because I’m too weird (and for some odd reason many believe horrid things my sister spewed to them that weren’t true then and haven’t been true since I was a literal child that didn’t know well enough. Or when she purposefully aggravated me into a state of distress so severe I was distraught... (and did they believe me when I told them she did it on purpose? That she liked doing it? Absolutely not. They still think I’m the one trying to manipulate the story/her when I made her tell them what she told me she was doing.) They can’t move past it... and nothing I’ve tried or done over the years has changed any of that because they likely think I have some sinister motive or a bomb waiting just under the surface of my skin. They literally won’t look at me. ... Honestly... this is actually reminding me of why I shouldn’t trust my sister at all. I’ve been the best I can be to her even after all the shit she’s done to me... but I don’t think I should relax and trust her. .. what an awful thing to say. And yet what kind of person does that? ... Someone who does and has fully admitted to hating every single part of me...) ... This too is a great example of why people can’t stand me. I can’t be short and sweet. Take up too much space and time- especially with words... especially with words they think has one meaning, but I know and use with another (dictionary definition- my special interest in words/what they mean)... why would people want to spare their energy if they think I’ll take up more than they want to give? And it seems, to me, that I only have anything interesting to say when life, well, sucks... because my hobbies are boring or confusing to them. My interests too niche. And who has time for things they can’t bond with people over? ... usually for them it’s TV shows, Video Games, Books, or Movies I can’t touch.... because they’re too violent and unpleasant for me. I try... and hate it and just get scoffed at for not liking it- never mind I’m happy they like it and I’m happy to listen... but, again... who has the energy to then turn around and listen to someone talk about something they have no idea of or any interest in? ... Life, for me... is filled with a lot of unfair imbalances. I do something for them... but never, EVER should I EVER ask them to do the same for me... (oh but I have to ask them to do it anyway or I’m the bad guy for not trying to engage them at all. I need to give them the chance to say ‘no’.. oh but also I can’t KEEP asking them to listen or reciprocate behaviors more than once per situation or topic because that’s just being an irritating pest) I’m preeetty convinced at this point every single one of them thinks one of the others will say ‘yes’ to me... or give back what I’ve given in some way, even if small, and that their contribution is not actually needed because someone else has got it... not realizing.. ALL of them are doing the same things... unknowingly... “someone else has the time/patience/desire to sit with Meek. Otherwise they wouldn’t be doing so well!! Someone else surely must have someone to listen to them and be kind!! Cuz I sure don’t/can’t!! And that’s okay!!”  (My sister SAYS she does it for me.. and she claims to do it WAY TOO MUCH... but in reality.. it’s once in maaaaybe 6 months at this point... and she lies and lies and lies. Blows it up to make me seem ungrateful. It’s awful to see her messages to people.) No... no I don’t... no one... but me... and it’s weighing on me so hard... because they ALL... all of them... has more than one other someone doing things for them.. remembering them... being kind... returning their favors. Friends AND family... not even one or the other.  Beautiful birthday and lesser holiday gifts and arrangements... Well wishes. Check-ins... invites... many from yours truly.. that I only include my sisters in because they feel bad for forgetting and/or don’t want to look bad... all the Holiday and Christmas gifts of last year... hundreds and hundreds of dollars (I went all out for Easter and I fought HARD for Halloween when they all PROMISED they’d plan it.. and didn’t), sure, but also thoughtful, personalized cards.. thinking of every single forgotten person I could... ALL OF THEM. Were from ME. Me ALONE. This year.... so far All the birthday gifts... Easter... everything.... save for Mother’s day for one person. ONE of the MANY who were kind to my sister!! She thought of (and spoiled) ONE. I fought to match the same for her husband for fathers day... I’m... I’m so tired. Not everyone like gifts, and I know that. Everyone has a different love language... I’ve learned SO MANY. .... not one wants to learn mine. Passes it off to the ‘next person (who also isn’t there)’... and I’ve gotten nothing back once I stopped providing all I could.. once, in their eyes, I suppose I stopped ‘earning’ my place in their lives. I have one friend who tries her best... I do. She does. But she also has an extremely hard life too. That she makes an effort is not lost on me. Not at all. I owe her my life in so many ways. I do everything every chance I get for her. She knows of my plight and my pain because I have asked, many, many times if feeling weird about a response or situation with context from both sides is wrong of me. She has never failed to be honest and, like.. SUUUUPER blunt with me. I’ve been in the wrong a few times... but for the most part... I have not been wrong for feeling so god damn IGNORED and taken for granted and... lonely. One person does not loneliness or abandonment cure, as kind as they may be when they can be. Especially if compared to literally every other person these people make these damn efforts for EXCEPT me.. aaaaand the people they’re happy to tell me all about how much they hate so they won’t do stuff for even if that person is ‘playing nice’.... I don’t think people realize how much they actually just.. don’t care for me or my presence.. if they don’t outright hate me. I haven’t always been pleasant.. I know I’m not being pleasant NOW. .. and that this is what is here for everyone to see... But I tried. So hard. For so long. To appear to be doing well. I tried to redirect my thoughts and entire being to being content and happy and fulfilled and I tried to share that with everyone. Not even in hopes of them sharing my joy, but in hopes of not dragging them down. and still... for all that effort... call me ungrateful. Go right ahead. Call me expectant. Call me selfish... Not one whom I devoted all that they asked of me to... gave anything back. I’ve said before I’ve devoted my time to the wrong people... obviously I have. They’re who is here. They’ve asked me to.. told me to sometimes as well. And still... to whom CAN I devote it all to and be treated like a worthy being in return?  My father has asked it of him... and yet I know that isn’t going to go a good direction either because I can’t stand his religion or his idea that well... I’m not trying hard enough. He fully believes I am capable of holding down a full time job, doing my hobbies, going to outings, being as ever helpful as I am, and making it entirely on my own just as he did..... when no matter how I try to tell him and show him I am not capable of that.. That I am currently at my absolute limit and pushing it every day... he will not listen. I am autistic... with autoimmune conditions... severe trauma and depression... in a climate that is demanding way too much of people. *snorts* actually... I think that’s many peoples’ problem with me right there. All these invisible issues... They see a perfectly healthy person standing before them and can’t fathom why I say I’m struggling when I also only ‘have’ to work 3 days a week... they don’t see the pain.. and I can’t actually show them the damage... and if I show any symptoms at all.. well I must be doing it for attention because I was ‘just fine before’. ... instead of realizing just how good I got at hiding it... or even just how used to the complaining and their own simple irritation at it if I ‘wasn’t going to do jack-shit about it’... when I was.. and they did nothing to help. (I also wonder how many are hiding behind their ignorance to avoid guilt. cuz I SUFFERED.. and was literally beaten for being in pain... while my siblings were brought to doctors and specialists and given everything to make sure they were okay).. I got the diagnosis on my own... multiple times over... I’ve had the x-rays and ultrasounds and antibiotics and medications and at one point I shared every. single. one. of. them. Publicly. To PROVE I’m not... not... unworthy. Faking... vying for something I don’t deserve. And.. it changes nothing... to them.. all of them.. I’m unworthy. ..eheh... I can’t tell you how many of them would spew vile and venom at me for using that word... planting that definition on their actions. But it is literally what they show me every. single. time.

[emptymasks]

They're done! I really want to try and make prints again as it's been years and I've never felt like I was very good at making whole posters. Dipping my toe back in with these silly chibis of each Papa with every Ghoul they've had. Perhaps they can also work as a guide for those wanting to learn all the characters? I added in a fair amount of little references with the Ghoul's poses so it'll be interesting to see what you guys figure out and notice!

The prints are on pre-order and won't ship out until November. I've put up 25 of each to start with but if they get low on stock I'll keep adding more until I have them printed and then it'll be a set amount in stock.

Also a reminder about the stickers of every Ghost Papa and Ghoul that I made earlier this year that are also available as customisable badges! Thank you so much to everyone who already bought them and got Etsy to list them as a 'bestseller' for a while. They're still up and in stock.

EDIT: someone informed me Delta was not in Secondo's era so sorry little water ghoul but he got edited out of that drawing.

Characters featured on the prints and are also available on stickers and badges: Papa Emeritus I / Primo, Papa Emeritus II / Secondo, Papa Emerirus III / Terzo, Papa Emeritus IV / Cardinal Copia, Aether, Air, Alpha / Fire, Aurora, Chain / Water, Cirrus, Cowbell, Cumulus, Delta, Dewdrop / Sodo, Earth, Ifrit, Ivy, Lake, Mist, Mountain, Omega / Quintessence, Pebble, Phantom, Phil / Special Ghoul, Rain, Sunshine, Swiss, Zephy.

I can’t link to my Etsy without risking Tumblr hiding the post from tag search results, but the link is in my pinned post, my carrd, I’m emptymasks on Etsy. Reblogs help support artists more than likes ❤️

[ID: Four landscape drawings, one for each of Ghost's Papas and the Ghouls that were in the band with them while they were the lead singer. Each Papa is in the center with each of their ghouls standings to their sides. Every character has their name written above or below them, on brightly coloured backgrounds for each Papa's robe colour. Also, individual pixel art chibi drawings of 69 characters from various European musicals (listed above) that are available as stickers. These drawings are also available as badges where they are placed inside circles to show what they will look like as physical button badges, some of them with plain colour backgrounds and some with 1-3 different pride flags as examples of how you can customise the backgrounds.]

For those who want to know what the little references in the prints are and don't want to guess, they're under the cut:

Omega can be a stompy boy when he's playing guitar, Alpha likes to throw up peace signs, Air is very found of the rock horns hand symbol, there's one close-up photo of Lake out there where you can clearly see his black sclera contacts and he's doing double 'horns' hand symbol, Mountain infamously takes his shoes off when playing the drums and leaves them on the stage at the site of his drumkit, Dewdrop likes to like.. most things including his guitar and his picks and sometimes his own hand, Pebble liked to hand out his drumsticks at the end of shows by dropkicking them into the crowd, Omega wore a flower tucked into his guitar strap during one show and Terzo constantly flirts with him more than other ghouls, Delta is suspected to be the ghoul that attempted to kick an audience member off stage when they climbed onstage and attempted to kiss Terzo, Zephyr was the only band member and only keyboardist who sat down while playing, the special ghoul played by Tobias wore a nametag 'Phil' in an interview, Swiss constantly is showing all his teethies with his smiles and always wiggling and moving around, Aether and Dewdrop often interact with Dew teasing/bothering Aether, Dew and Rain also often interact with Dew constantly reaching to grab his neck and attempt to kiss him, aaaand I think that's everything I intentionally included other than just generally tried to get the poses and expressions to match the personality we've seen from each ghoul.

[fatguarddog]

You're the heir to the royal family of a kingdom besieged by demons and during a surrender, are offered up to one of the Demon Lords as a prize of battle. Don't worry, he assures you with a warm yet devious smile, you'll soon 'grow' to love your new life with him

You're taken back to his manor and draped in a lavish, yet skimpy outfit, one that really shows off your body and highlights the slight curves of your features. Your new Lord sits you down at a huge banquet table and takes his seat across from you. All manner of succulent and delicious foods are lined up before you, you take a moment to really take in the size of this hulking, handsome demon and assume he must eat like a beast. But when his impish servants are done setting the table, he just brings his elbows onto the table to rest his head in his hands. He smiles at you,

"You've nothing to fear. Eat."

His voice is so commanding. Nervously, you load up your plate with foods that seem the most familiar to you. Roast chicken, potatoes, various vegetables and a bread roll. It's delicious. With the effect the war has had on your kingdom, you can't remember the last time event he royal family could assemble such a sumptuous selection to feast upon... so you end up forgetting yourself a little and eating until you're quite stuffed. You lean back in your chair and graciously thank your Lord for the meal, shyly paying your compliments to the chef

"Good," he smiles wider and snaps his fingers. "Eat."

A surge of warmth courses through your body. With some demonic intervention, everything you'e just eaten rapidly digests within you and you feel hungry again. Your frame even grows a little bit softer, though not enough for you to notice just yet. You blush and oblige his order, you brain trying to rationalise what's happening. A display of dominance, perhaps? Or did he notice how much you were enjoying the food after having had so little for so long and just wanted you to get to enjoy that more? Was something bad coming after this, or was he actually a good demon somehow?

All of your questions seemed to melt away as you dug in to the feast again, this time trying the honey roasted ham, sweet fruits, leg shank and more. Once again you eat until you feel completely stuffed. Once again you thank your Lord for such a wonderful meal... and once again he smiles at you with fiery eyes from across the table, his own plate still empty and untouched,

"Good," another snap of his fingers. "Eat."

That familiar surge of warmth strikes again, but this time you notice how much plumper you look after, especially in your skimpy clothes. You look up at your Lord in shock and confusion, but he just gestures to the food in front of him. You timidly shake your head, yet your stomach growls audibly in the large dining hall

"Perhaps you'd be more in the mood for wine and cheese?" the demon snaps and the feast before you changes to a decadent cheese plate with crackers and dried meats abound. "Or would my royal prize prefer dessert?" Another snap and the table becomes stacked with cakes, pies and pastries alongside jugs filled with custards and creams, all so sweetly mouth watering The look of disbelief doesn't leave your face. Your stomach growls louder, more painfully as your owner laughs

"Better not to ignore your hunger, my dear. It'll be much more pleasurable for you if you just. Eat."

The command rings through you and sends shivers down your spine, you want nothing more than to stuff your face with every dessert in sight. Your hands reach forward greedily and you begin to eat your fill as your Lord looks on, almost lovingly at you

"So good, so obedient, I'm going to like you a lot," he stands and gently makes his way all around the table to your side, his towering form standing behind you, gently rubbing your now slightly pudgy shoulders. "I'll spoil you so much, feast after feast, night after night of pure pleasure to make you into the perfectly fattened up image of hedonism," his hands feels so good and warm on your soft skin as you gorge yourself. "Just think how demoralising it'll be for your kingdom, to see how easily their royal heir fell to demonic corruption... but I must say from a personal standpoint, I do just think you look so beautiful enjoying yourself like this. I'll have a bath ready for us after I think you're done here, there we can really relax and get to know each other, my dear. But for now, please keep eating. I told you you would grow to love it here."

[doumadono]

hey! I'd like a mango cone with lots of sprinkles and maple syrup!

Characters Bakugo and Dabi (Touya) separately pls

-👾☠️

5k FOLLOWERS EVENT MASTERLIST MY HERO ACADEMIA

Bakugo

Bakugo initially approaches you with a gruff demeanor, clearly trying to hide his concern. Bakugo's eyes dart to where you're sitting, trying to hide the wince of pain every time you move. "Oi, you idiot. What the hell were you thinking? Can't even protect yourself properly?"

Despite his harsh words, his hands will be surprisingly gentle as he examines your injuries. "Tsk, what a mess. Just sit still and let me handle it."

He brings over a first aid kit, slamming it down next to you. Bakugo awkwardly fumbles with the bandages. "Oi, who knew you'd be so clumsy on the battlefield." After a moment, he grumbles again, "Hold still, idiot," while wrapping your wound carefully.

You and Bakugo have been friends for years since meeting at UA, but you struggle to recall seeing him act like that ever before because he always kept you at arm's length. But now? Despite trying to maintain a gruff and cold facade, he's surprisingly affectionate towards you.

As he tends to your wounds, he grumbles under his breath about how you always manage to get hurt. "You're such a pain in the ass, dammit. Do you enjoy making me worry?"

When you flinch from the pain, he'll clench his jaw, trying to hide his own frustration after causing you more pain. "Stop moving, dammit! I'm trying to help you here."

He keeps on grumbling about how annoying it is to have to take care of you, but still, he makes sure you have everything you need to feel better.

If you thank him for his help, he'll quickly brush it off, trying to hide his embarrassment. "Hmph. Don't get used to it! I just can't stand seeing you in such a pathetic state."

He pats your head roughly in the end, "Just… don't get hurt again, okay, nerd?"

But when he thinks you're not looking, you'll catch a rare glimpse of concern in his eyes before he quickly looks away, muttering something about you being annoying, again.

Dabi

Dabi's turquoise eyes narrow as he sees you being carried in by Twice, clearly hurt from the battle. "Took you both long enough to get back," he mutters, though his eyes betray his concern.

As Twice gently sets you down, Dabi can't help but hover close, trying to assess your injuries without making it obvious. "You look like shit," he says gruffly, but there's a tenderness to his tone that wasn't there before.

When you glance up at him after he lingers a bit too long checking your injuries, and your eyes meet, he gruffly murmurs, "I'm just making sure you're not completely useless to our cause."

You've never been involved romantically, but when he's tending to your wounds, he becomes incredibly protective. He keeps other League of Villains members at bay, and if he could, he'd shield you with his own body.

A fleeting thought crosses your mind that perhaps, just perhaps, Dabi feels something more than camaraderie towards you…

When you wince from pain as he treats your wounds, he immediately scolds you, "Don't move too much, Y/N."

As he applies a healing salve or wraps your wounds, he avoids eye contact, focusing intently on his task.

If anyone of the League comments on his sudden caring attitude, he snaps, "Shut up, maniac! It's just because she's gonna be troublesome otherwise."

After taking care of you, he mumbles, "Just rest now, Y/N, and better appreciate this. I don't go around playing nursemaid for just anyone."

As he heads away, he casts one last look back at you, a rare gentleness in his eyes before he exits the common room to attend to his own duties.

Rest assured, anyone who dared to harm you in that battle will meet their demise very soon, and Dabi will ensure they suffer for it. It'll be a head for every wound you got.

[avocado-writing]

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

*eats your words*

no but seriously, your writing has me kicking my feet when I’m supposed to be typing an essay 😞‼️ I was wondering if you could do some headcanons for the companions x monk! Tav who, when being confessed to, Tav responds with “it’ll pass”?

basically fleabag inspired 😍‼️ please and thank you! stay safe n warm 🔫

OH GOD HEARTBREAKING i tried to make it have a happy ending tho!!! enjoy! and I'm so glad that you enjoy my writing! (mild nsfw mentions)

writing as if you're saying this because you think you wouldn't be the best option for their future, one way or another, and want to try and soften the blow for them by replying like this. you only want them to be happy and you're scared it can't be with you.

Astarion

you cup his face, and the look in your eyes is so, so sad.

you think perhaps your simple nomadic lifestyle will not be enough for him. you love him, you do, but he needs someone more modern. more cosmopolitan.

when you tell him it will pass you see a myriad of expressions cross his face: sadness, confusion, anger... but finally, resolve.

he takes your hand in his, firmly.

"my heart. I know when things will pass, and when they won't. my love for you is not some trifle, a fashion to be abandoned like it would go out of style. I mean it. I can make my own decisions, and I have decided where I want to be. It's with you."

he reaches out to embrace you. you're surprised, but let him do it anyway, and you bury your face into his neck to hide your emotions.

maybe, just maybe, you were wrong.

you hold him tighter than ever that night.

Gale

you're worried he is too smart for you. that he will get bored of you, and the idea breaks your heart.

you tell him "it'll pass" when he confesses because you're scared.

seems actually offended that you'd tell him his love for you might be fleeting.

"there are things which will span the ages. stories, gods, heroes. my love for you is one of them. I do not confess that lightly. you are a beacon of hope in my life, love... and that will never fade."

goes on for some time afterwards about how committed he is and how much he loves you, until eventually you accept that he's not going anywhere.

bloody wizards, so good with their words...

fall asleep that night after having the most intimate lovemaking session, all about feeling each other's breath and heartbeats.

he is here to stay, forever.

Wyll

wyll deserves someone amazing. someone who could handle his life if he became duke, and you're scared you'll let him down.

when you tell him 'it'll pass' he is hurt, and leaves the conversation for a moment. you think perhaps it is for the best. you don't need this to cause any more pain.

but later he comes to find you and asks if he can have a private moment. you find out he wasn't hiding from you but preparing: he has a little intimate picnic set up where you can sit and be alone.

when you're comfortable he tells you about how deep his love is, how fate has thrown you together.

"there is nothing about how i feel about you that could pass. nothing."

to prove his point, he slips to his knee, and that is when he proposes.

you're overcome with emotion. you have to accept how committed to you he is, and work out if you deserve something as fierce as his love.

there are tears in your eyes when you accept. you never think his love will pass again.

Karlach

probably the hardest one to say this too. together, your future is so uncertain. it will be easier to break it off here rather than maim both of you.

gets angry. in fact, goes into a rage. tears up the surroundings, and for a moment you're taken aback--

but then she turns and she's sobbing, stuck at the midpoint between being apoplectic and brokenhearted.

"you don't get to decide that for me! you don't! you're the first person i've loved... I've touched... I've felt anything for, for a fucking decade! when i feel this, it doesn't fade! how dare you think about yourself like that? as if you're some sort of phase?"

eventually she calms down enough but bursts into tears instead. you go to hold her and she embraces you so tightly that the wind is knocked from your body.

"i love you. i won't leave you. don't leave me." her voice is tiny.

how could you ever say no? how could you ever doubt her?

when the two of you are in Avernus, you're reminded of this moment, and so glad she fought against it. you'd trade this away for nothing.

Lae'zel

would she want someone like you? long term? she's so brave, so fierce. what if you're not good enough? what if your relationship develops only for you to let her down?

she gets angry too, but quieter.

is furious that you would question her affection.

"githyanki do not give their devotion lightly. the fact that you think my love for you could pass makes me wonder how well you know me."

it turns into an argument where you try and explain your side, and she's angry at you for thinking this way.

eventually it descends into angrily making out. some fierce lovemaking. her saying how much she loves you, possesses you, between every bite and kiss.

you lie in the afterglow. she says she will not leave, and pretty much tells you that you won't either. you agree, and tangle your hand with hers.

Shadowheart

tries to hide how hurt she is.

yes, Shar is the lady of loss, but the idea of losing you... of not having you in her life? unthinkable.

you only tried to tell her it will pass so that, if she wishes to become a dark justiciar, she will have no lingering attachment to you after.

and yet...

it is blasphemy for her, but she refuses to let you go.

"no. i won't allow it. i can't believe this will fade between us. you are the most precious thing to me. stay."

you're weak for her, end up tumbling into bed, reconfirming your love for each other.

you never quite believe that this is forever until she changes her hair, embraces selune. then your heart is full of joy. and it is full of Shadowheart.

[mrmeowski]

˚✧𝐀 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒✧˚

Synopsis: It only happens once a year and the Seven Rulers of Hell wanted it to be perfect for you. You're the one who mended their relationships, if you weren't born then perhaps their situation with be a lot more different. They hoped they made this day memorable for you.

CW: Lesson 6 [Beel] & 16 [Belphie] spoilers, suggestive, angst

A/N: So yeah today's my birthday aaaand I wanted to treat myself and those who read this on their birthdays💝

Word Count: 2.3k

🧡༻✧ Lucifer [305] 💜༻✧ Mammon [401] 🧡༻✧ Leviathan [254] 💜༻✧ Satan [273] 🧡༻✧ Asmodeus [401] 💜༻✧ Beelzebub [337] 🧡༻✧ Belphegor [398]

⋇⊰LUCIFER⊱⋇

You should expect the most grandest and highest-class celebration you've ever seen. He never disappoints!

Although normally, Lucifer isn't a morning demon, today he's got noticeable energy early in the morning, it's your special day after all!

He's the first person to call you at midnight because he stayed up for you he's still up doing paperwork. Ah but don't worry, he won't be doing any more work all throughout the day. His focus is all on you!

You won't even know what's coming up, he leaves out a few hints here and there but you cannot fathom the entirety of the things he prepared for you. It felt like a crime to accept his high-quality and most probably expensive gifts. Yes, gifts, not just one but multiple.

When everything has ended, you're going straight to his room much to his brothers' dismay. You'll be stuck with him all night, sitting in his lap as he toyed with your hair, his mind deep in thought.

The impact that you made on his brothers—the impact you made on him—is far bigger than you could imagine. And that fact scares him.

Each year you get older... weaker. Days like this remind him of your mortality, that you cannot stay with them forever. What would he do when you leave him and he can't do anything to stop it? It make his chest tighten every time it crosses his mind but he refuses to let it ruin the sweet moments he gets to spend with you. He'll make sure every second counts.

You'll never know how grateful he is that he has you in his life, in his brothers' lives. He may be a bit stubborn at times and doesn't admit it. But there is one way where he can show you how grateful he is...

⋇⊰MAMMON⊱⋇

It'll be one of a day when you're with this guy! That's for sure. Just get ready to have the best birthday ever with no one other than the Great Mammon! You should be grateful he's putting all his effort into this!

Wanted to be the first to tell you since he was your first! ...But he fell asleep and immediately felt bad. You swear he was about to cry there and then when he repeatedly apologizes to you.

Somehow he's still a tsundere through the day even if he's the most excitedly of the brothers. For he has his little crows give you trinkets such as bracelets, sweat, and love letters from him. When you question him about this he reasons out that they have a mind of their own and he's totally not telling them to send them to you 'cause he can't do it himself! Do you think that low of him!?

He snuck you off during the party and finally handed out to you his present personally. Honestly, he feels a bit overwhelmed when his brothers have all their eyes on them, and this place... this kitchen... it holds a special memory for the both of you. It may be a bit odd for something that's supposed to be grand and formal but this is when you made a pact with him... when he began to stir something for you.

The gift is not as expensive as Lucifer's not because he is selfish or whatnot, instead, he focuses more on the effort he put into the gift. The meaning it holds. That's what he cared about the most.

Prays that you don't hate it and when you didn't and even told him you loved it. He teared up. Hugging you and twirling you around the room. Definitely kiss you as well right after it.

He may be a bit excited and emotional than you but he just really appreciates and loves you, so he hopes you don't mind him. You're not just important to him but his brothers as well and today's the day you were brought into the world, the reason why he's family's whole again, why he's able to look forward to something every time he wakes up. You've made a change in everyone's life, not just his brothers, but people like the angels and the Demon Prince, and he has to say thanks somehow.

⋇⊰LEVIATHAN⊱⋇

Just another day where he spends it all in his room playing games and watching TSL. He's just constantly looking at the time because... a new season is about to come up! Not because he's waiting to call you by midnight and wants to be the first to say happy birthday!

Levi doesn't know how he's going to celebrate your birthday, he hasn't been this stressed about something so not otaku-like in decades. He's worried that he'll ruin your big day and it'll be memorable for the wrong reason. What if he gets you something that you dislike and they you began hating him!?

This day is making him more nervous than he would like to admit but he can't help it! You're his best friend, an actual physical person that he can confidently talk with to his heart's contents without being judged or laughed at, someone he's fortunate enough to know and love—if only he could tell you that without running off or words just falling off his mouth.

His gift was something limited addition from a show or game that you adored. He tried so hard to find it just for you so he really really hopes you loved it! Even if it's the last one he doesn't mind giving it to you.

It's the least he can do for how much you helped him, how much you meant to him, and even though he still struggles saying how he truly feels, he promises that he'll do his best for you.

⋇⊰SATAN⊱⋇

The day before... or more accurately, a week before your birthday, he already has a very detailed list of things to do today. He wanted it to be perfect for you! It's what you deserved after all.

You went to all your favorite places and did all the activities he knows you enjoy, along with new journeys that fit your liking. He only listed out all the things you loved since seeing you smile is more than enough for him.

Satan put a lot of thought into his gift, he doesn't want to just give anything, it needs a meaning to it! Plus, he needs to one-up Lucifer and this was the perfect chance. His gift should show you how much you've changed him; the new feelings you made him experience; and that even if he lost control of his anger, you still love and accept him for what he is.

He poured his heart onto this gift and he won't lie, he was a bit worried he'll disappoint you but you didn't! He breathed out a sigh of relief one he wasn't aware he was holding. Seeing you so enthusiastic opening his present, the shine in your eyes when you finally see it, he'll keep that memory in his mind.

Just like the eldest, he's reminded of your mortality but this is not the day to ponder about that plus there's one more thing yet to be checked in his list! That is staying the night in his room. Just you and him... the books and cats... and the growing desire he has been holding back ever since the clock chimed midnight.

⋇⊰ASMODEUS⊱⋇

He's always a big talk when it comes to his beauty sleep but when it comes to you, he'll drop that in a heart bit. Your reaction is worth more and he wants bragging rights to say that he told you happy birthday first.

Today is your big day after all! It's the day you were brought into this world to be down here with him—and his brothers of course! He wants all the attention to you, you deserve it after what you've done for them... to him especially.

Expect him to be your designated fashion designer. He doesn't want you to look bad on your birthday! So all your outfits should be not just outstanding but they have to be iconic! He'll make sure you're the hot topic in Devilgram.

Of course, he's gifts have style in them! Everything fits your taste and he's confident you'll fall in love with them like he did with you. He has always had a keen eye for what you love, storing all the knowledge until this day.

All throughout the celebration, he'll take pictures with every move you make. For once, he isn't the main model. He wants to show you off, to show these demons how beautiful you are and how lucky he is that he has you in his arms!

Asmo insisted on staying with him after the party so you and he could do his nightly routine. Just basking in your glow and enjoying your presence. No sharing, no interruptions, just you and him having a moment.

You were the few who see him as a person, for his capabilities and feelings. Not someone of his sin, not someone who only admires him for his beauty. At first, he was a bit iffy that you were charmed but that only built a genuine relationship between the two of you.

Back then, he thought he could never love someone as he loves himself, it was impossible... and if he did it never lasts. His feelings die off and he'll find a new. But you... you made the Avatar of Lust head over heels for you and you will succumb to the consequences.

You should've expected it... bathing with someone who has feelings for you leads to a pleasurable ending. Don't back off now, you did this, you made him fall and he'll show you how deep his love can go.

⋇⊰BEELZEBUB⊱⋇

He's soooo excited and takes today very seriously. If somebody messes up it up, he'd be so upset especially if that fool is not one of his brothers. Nobody will ruin your day on his watch!

Oh, and Beel will make sure you'll eat so good today, so much so that little tummy of yours won't be able to handle it all. As soon as he gets the chance, you'll be dragged to every restaurant, and by every he meant. Already full? Well, make room 'cause it ain't done yet!

But you see, that isn't his gift, his gift is a dish he personally made for you. Every flavor is to your liking... he personally tasted it just to be double—triple sure.

Food makes him happy and so he got you so much because he also wanted you to feel the joy he gets from eating! It makes him warm and fuzzy inside whenever you're eating with him, sometimes he doesn't even want to eat the dishes because what he wants is... you.

He's well aware food is his thing and it bothers him. All he wants—actually, sometimes he doesn't even want to but his body just needs to eat and eat; he never feels full and he can't stop. That's what it had been ever since he fell but you changed him... the slightest. He still eats, a lot, but now he enjoys it what he loves most is spending time with you even if you doing absolutely nothing. Those moments make him full but with bliss.

These are his simple ways to show his gratitude to the changes you made not just to him, but his brothers as well. You had a big impact on them. Heck, you reunited him with his twin; you listened to him rant about his nightmares of Lilith; and you poured effort into mending their relationship.

All of his brothers, especially him, love and adore you. He hopes you can see it through their actions, words, and gifts.

⋇⊰BELPHEGOR⊱⋇

He tried to stay up, key word tried, but he succumbed to his sin and fell asleep midway. He has an entire day to tell you happy birthday tomorrow so why should he bother staying up? For the bragging rights? Belphie knows you'll be cuddling with him by the end of the day whether he's first to not.

Even with his nonchalant attitude—which his brothers were a little bit peeved about—he already had something in his sleeve. You know him so much at this point that you can see that he's also as excited as his brothers, he just doesn't show it very well.

Right after the party, he snuck you away to the balcony, which gave you a clear view of the Devildom skies. You've always done this with him but even still, you can't help but be in awe. Tonight was different though, instead of the stars shifting into different animals or scenarios of his brothers, it instead spelled out words: "Happy Birthday [Name]," then there were stars imitating fireworks exploding.

All throughout his eyes were only on you, seeing how your eyes shone filled him with much joy. He snuggled deep into the crook of your neck as you giggled. This felt like he was back in the Celestial Realm... then he remembered the scummy things he had done.

He had been awful to you: he had said many sarcastic things that sometimes hurt you; he'd been treating situations like they were not a big deal; then... the most infamous thing, killing you in that forsaken attic after you helped him escape. He expected you to hate him, to not bother talking to him—you did, for like a few days but after that, you were willing to forgive him and to start over.

You're the reason that he's out of the attic and reunited with his twin, the reason to be with his family again and not isolated. He knows he still has issues to fix but with your help, he knows he'll take the right step. Sometimes in his sleep, he dreams of a world without you, if you didn't listen to him back then or didn't forgive him. He'd be lost, forever stuck in that cage, out of touch with his twin.

He owes you so much and he swears he'll make you happy and safe. He promises you that...

A Special Day 2025 [Twisted-Wonderland]» [WIP] Request» Masterlist»

[lendeah]

Thank you very much, Gale. Goodnight.

Pairing: Gale x Fem!Reader/Tav

Summary:

Upon reaching the Last Light Inn, your party is informed about the room arrangements: you will have to share rooms in pairs. Fate has it that you find yourself paired with a particularly charming wizard. To add a twist, there's only one bed. or Gale and Tav relive the "there was only one bed" trope.

Tags: Fluff and smut. They are so cute.

Word count: 3.5k

Warnings: NSFW (minors dni), thighs, frottage, heavy petting, mutual masturbation, touch starved Gale.

Note: This was going to be a prompt but it got out of hand. Anyway, a small gift for the Gale girlies (me, I am the Gale girlies). Also, not proofread and english isn't my first language, so be gentle!🫶🏻

"You will have to share rooms in pairs" Yaheira had deadpanned. After our long journey, we finally reached the Last Light Inn. We were hoping for a comfortable bed and some privacy, but our hopes were crushed.

Yaheira didn't seem fazed by our reactions, her expression remaining stoic.

"After all the blood, sweat and tears we poured into saving you lot back there this is the beautiful appreciation we get in return?" Astarion exclaimed dramatically, his tone laced with sarcasm.

Yaheira's cold stare silenced him. "Many soldiers are residing here, sacrificing their own comfort for our cause. Four of them have given up their bedchambers for your stay. You should be grateful," she reprimanded sharply.

The creaky wooden floors and musty smell hinted at the age of the building, but it was a small price to pay for a warm bed and shelter from the danger of the shadows outside. The group stood in a huddle, debating their next move. Wyll's voice rang out confidently "I propose we stay at the camp like we have been doing.".

Karlach's response was immediate and determined: "What, and die in the shadows? No, thank you."

You let out a frustrated sigh, feeling about to faint from weariness. "Guys, we're all exhausted. We should just accept the offer and get some rest. We practically sleep on top of each other every other day anyway."

"Yeah, but not on the same bed." Shadowheart chimed, giving Lae'zel a sly side glance. "And how would we determine who sleeps with whom, anyway?"

Gale, the ever-practical one, interjected: "Perhaps we could employ a method of chance, such as drawing straws, in order to make a resolution?"

So that's how Gale and you end up entering the old dusty and messy bedroom from the last Light Inn. The single bed in the middle seems to be laughing at us.

Gale sighs. "I knew sharing rooms wasn't a good idea. I should just crawl under the bed." He scans the room, eyes coming to rest on the window, with the dark sky looming outside. "I could sleep out there too." He pauses. "The prospect of such a cozy rest is indeed quite alluring. The brisk gusts brushing against my face, as I gaze upwards towards the unobstructed expanse of the starry heavens. Delightful, wouldn't you agree?"

He moves to get out of the door, but you grab his arm, your voice pleading, tinged with desperation from the exhaustion. "Please, Gale, I know it's uncomfortable, but can we just please do this tonight and figure out a better plan tomorrow?"

He swallows, glancing down at your fingers wrapped around his arms. "I-I don't think you realize just how difficult it'll be for me. This bed's too small, and it's too close, and—I can't."

I look at him with my eyes narrowed "If you don't get on the bed in the next five minutes, I am going to use my maze on you. And let me tell you, it hurts"

He looks at me dumbfounded ."...You wouldn't?" You give him a pointed stare. Of course, you don't mean to hurt him, but you are too tired to fight or move for that matter.

He swallows, looking you up and down again. Then he nods and turns toward the bed. "Uh, fine. I guess I'll, uh, get on the bed. However, I cannot guarantee that any peculiar occurrences will not transpire. I mean, not that I expect anything weird to happen. Just, you know, putting it out there. Okay, I'll stop talking now."

Your roll your eyes fondly at his rambling. As Gale awkwardly settles onto the edge of the bed, you quickly change into your undergarments and crawl into the other side. The bed creaks under both of your weight, making Gale flinch. The space feels narrow, forcing you close together. There's barely an inch in between, and any movement sends you brushing up against him. You can feel his body heat radiating off him, a little toasty.

"The dimensions of this bed are rather diminutive," he whispers, staring up at the ceiling under the blanket, unable to make eye contact with you.

"Aren't you sharp" you whisper teasingly.

"It's... it's tiny! How do you expect two fully-grown individuals to successfully sleep in this thing?" He says in an exasperated whisper. It is small, though. Feels like I'm being wrapped in a blanket... Except the blanket is another person.

I sigh in exhasperation, "Gale I am trying to sleep for god's sake!"

Gale shifts uncomfortably, trying to make himself as small as possible on the narrow bed. "I apologize, I didn't mean to disturb your slumber. I just...I can't get comfortable in such confined space."

You let out another sigh, feeling a little bad for him. "I'm sorry. This isn't your fault, but is it possible that we exchange our positions? I don't mean to inconvenience you, but I feel like I can't relax like this. I can sleep on the edge of the bed, and you can sleep in the middle."

You look at him, one second away from grabbing your maze for real. "Gale, there is no middle, every part of this damned bed is the edge!"

Gale, is still fidgeting on his side.

"This is ridiculous," you mutter under your breath.

"I know," he responds quietly. "I'm sorry." He bites his lip, looking up at the ceiling again. "It seems as though you are now stuck with me as your blanket," he says, turning his head in your direction. "I hope this arrangement does not cause any discomfort for you... I would not want to impede upon your sleep."

At that, you can’t help but smile fondly back at him "It could be worse," you remark softly. "I could be stuck with Halsin and his incessant snores."

"Halsin snores?" He blinks in genuine surprise. "I never would have guessed. Is it disruptive? Like a storm tearing through the night?"

You roll your eyes. "You wouldn't know, you sleep like a rock all night." Your words are playful, as you nudge him lightly with your elbow.

"I do not! I am an extremely light sleeper, in fact, the slightest noise can jolt me from my slumber. It's quite a remarkable feat, really." His brow furrows. "Wait, does this imply that you have observed me in my sleep?" He blurts out. He is now on his side too, both of us facing each other.

A soft chuckle escapes from your lips, banishing all thoughts of sleep. "Yeah," you remarked with a playful smile, "I must say, you look really cute when you're sleeping."

The moonlight streaming in through the window cast a gentle glow on Gale's face, making your heart swell with affection. His tousled hair and big brown eyes look even softer in this ambience.

His mouth drops open, his eyebrows now shooting up to his hairline. "I do not look cute while I sleep!"

"So cute, with your cheeks all puffed," you say, reaching out to pinch his cheek playfully.

Gale's face flushes a bright red and he turns away, trying to hide his embarrassment.

"I—I'm not cute when I sleep," he whispers." I am powerful! A talented wizard, a master of magic. I do not need to be "cute". And I'm not!" But as he protests, you can't help but notice the way his cheeks flush and how his hair sticks up in all directions, making him look endearingly disheveled. You can't resist the temptation and reach over to tickle his middle. "Cutie!"

"I am not!" he protests, giggling as you tickle him. "Stop it! You're making me... gahahaha!" His laughter bubbles out of him despite his attempts to hold it in.

You laugh too, enjoying the sound of his laughter. "See? Cute."

"I'm not cute!" he gasps out between laughs. "I'm... hahaha... I'm powerful!" He tries to sit up, but you pin him down with your hand on his chest. "You are cute, Gale. And you're adorable when you laugh," you say, looking into his eyes. He looks at you, his cheeks still flushed with laughter and embarrassment. For a moment, the two of you just stare at each other before Gale clears his throat and lays on his side again.

"Gale?" I call out softly, hoping to break the silence.

"Yes...?"His voice is barely audible.

Smirking mischievously, you decide to push his buttons a little more.

"You know, I have trouble falling asleep unless I'm cuddled up next to someone." you whisper

He flinches. It takes a moment for your request to fully register, and he stares at you with a mixture of shock and confusion.

"...Are you serious? You want me to cuddle you?"

You nod eagerly, a hopeful smile playing on your lips. "Usually it would be Shadowheart offering, but she's not here right now."

"You want—me, to wrap my arms around you, to..."

His eyes narrow. "Am I hearing you right? You're asking me, to hold you?"

You roll my eyes "Yes Gale, that is usually how cuddling works."

Gale looks at you, taken aback by your request. His face flushes with embarrassment as he considers your words. "Um...I-I'm not entirely certain if that would be a prudent course of action," he stammers out, looking away from you.

"Forget it," Frustration wells up inside of you and you let out a low grunt before turning away to face the opposite side of the room.

"Er- I mean, wait, that wasn't a rejection... " He scoots closer, careful not to touch you. You turn yourself, so you are looking at him again. He looks down at you with a nervous expression. "So if I were to, hypothetically speaking, encircle my arms around your form, you wouldn't object?"

For some reason, your heart skips a beat at the thought of his arms around you.

"Well," you respond playfully. "I would probably say something along the lines of 'thank you very much Gale, goodnight'."

He hesitates for a moment before finally inching closer, his arm hovering uncertainly in the air. With a deep breath, he takes the plunge and wraps his arm around you, pulling you gently against his chest. You let out a surprised gasp, not expecting him to actually cuddle you, but the warmth and comfort that radiate from him are welcome in the cold room. You nestle into his embrace, feeling the steady beat of his heart against your ear and inhaling the intoxicating combination of an old book's musty pages and his rich cologne, laced with a subtle hint of sweat. You wrap your arms tighter around his soft body, savoring the feeling of being held in his strong embrace.

"Thank you, Gale" you whisper, intertwining your fingers behind his back. "Goodnight."

As the exhaustion of your journey settles over you, you feel the familiar pull of sleep in your body. However, the moment is disturbed by the feeling of something hard poking your stomach. Your eyes snap open and meet Gale's, who stands there frozen with shock and embarrassment.

"I... I'm sorry," he stammers out, mortified. "I didn't mean for that to happen. It's just been so long and you are so close and..."

Your bodies are still pressend, and you try to make sense of everything. Finally, you laugh softly and pat his arm reassuringly. "It's okay, Gale. There's nothing to be embarrassed about." you say reassuringly, though you can feel a blush creeping up your cheeks.

"But... but I didn't mean for this to happen," he repeats, still clearly flustered.

"It's natural," you say calmly, trying to put him at ease. "It happens sometimes when people get close like this."

Gale nods slowly, still looking a little uncertain. He shifts slightly so that the bulge isn't pressing against your body as much anymore. "Thank you for understanding," he says quietly. Your heart swells with affection as you watch him; there is something endearing about his vulnerability in this moment. You have an overwhelming urge to pull him close, to shield him from any harm and take care of him.

A twinge of guilt tugs at your conscience as you watch the flush rise in his cheeks, a direct result of your teasing. You chew on your lip for a moment before an idea strikes you. "Do you... want me to lend a hand?" You offer tentatively, gazing up at him with soft eyes and a gentle tone. His big brown orbs widen in surprise at your unexpected offer. You are also taken aback by your own words, but don't take them back.

He opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out. You can see the struggle in his expression as he tries to process what you just said.

"I mean, it's completely up to you," you quickly add, not wanting to pressure him into anything. "I just thought maybe it would help alleviate some of your... discomfort."

He takes a deep breath and looks away from you, clearly embarrassed. Gale hesitates for a moment before nodding slowly. "Okay," his voice barely above a whisper.

Your heart races at his acceptance. You were not expecting him to actually agree to your offer, but you are weirdly glad he did. "Okay," you repeat softly, moving your hand down to his waist and pulling him closer. You slowly reach down between both your bodies, gently taking hold of his erection through his pants. Gale gasps softly as your fingers brush against him, sending shivers down his spine. You can feel his breath hitch in anticipation as you start to move your hand up and down. As you gaze up at him, his arms still holding your body, a deep stirring awakens within you. The wizard before you, with his eyes squeezed shut in pleasure, is more attractive than you had ever realized. His tanned skin is like velvet against your fingertips, and his long hair falls over his face in gentle waves. Each reaction to your caress, every soft moan that escapes his lips, only adds fuel to the fire growing inside of you. Looking so eager for your touch.

Without hesitation, you lean forward and capture his lips in a gentle kiss. To your surprise, he responds enthusiastically, his hands moving to rest on your face as he pulls you closer to him. You deepen the kiss, your heart racing at the feeling of his warm lips against yours and the subtle tickle of his beard on your cheeks. As you continue to kiss, your hands never stops the gentle strokes on his erection. Gale's moans are becoming louder and more urgent. You can feel his need growing as he grinds against your hand, seeking more friction.

"L-let me touch you" he says between ragged breaths.

You smile at him, feeling a sense of satisfaction at the effect you're having.

"I have a better idea," you say softly, moving your hand away from his erection. You take off your panties, and move on your side in front of him again. Gale lets out a small gasp as you straddle him, feeling the heat of his arousal pressed against your bare thighs.

"What are you doing?" he asks, his voice thick with both curiosity and lust.

A mischievous grin plays on your lips. "I'm going to give you something even better than my hand to relieve yourself," you purr, swaying your hips in demonstration in a slow, enticing rhythm, that elicits a delicious friction between his cock and the warm heat of your thighs and cunt.

You take one of his hands and guide it to your breast, letting him feel its softness and moaning quietly at the touch. Gale's eyes widen in surprise, gently squeezing it but with his eyes fixed on yours.

"You're so beautiful," he whispers, reaching up to touch your face with his free hand.

"Thank you, so are you," you reply, leaning down to capture his lips in another tender kiss. He seems to find your praise very arousing, as his breathing quickens and he thrusts his hips upward, seeking more contact with your body. In response, you arch your back and press your chest against him, savoring the feel of his erection against your core and thighs.

"I want you so much," he murmurs, his voice rough with desire. "I've been dreaming of this moment for so long but I never- I didn’t think-“ he gasps at a particularly good thrust.

You're not sure how to answer, so instead you keep whispering sweet nothings in his ear. "You're an amazing kisser, Gale," you say, "you touch me so good..."

He moans in your mouth, gripping your hips harder as he keeps pounding erratically. Your hands move to his hair, pulling from the strands and eliciting a small whine from his throat. You can feel the hardness of his erection brushing against your wet folds with every movement, and it sends shivers of pleasure down your spine. You let out a moan into his lips as his fingers find their way to your clit, rubbing small circles that send sparks of pleasure throughout your body. Feeling his arousal growing even more, you know he won't last much longer, so you move your hips in a faster rhythm, grinding against his cock with more urgency.

Gale lets out a low growl, his hands gripping your hips tightly as he matches your movements. The friction between your bodies is almost unbearable, but in the most delicious way possible. As you continue to move together, your breaths growing heavier and more ragged, you can feel the familiar sensation of your orgasm building within you too. Gale seems to be close as well, as he begins to thrust deeper and harder into your thighs, his breath hot and ragged against your neck. You can hear the slap of skin and the squelching sound of your now wet thighs.

"Oh, gods," he gasps out, feeling himself getting closer and closer to the edge. "I'm gonna..."

His body suddenly tenses up as he comes undone, his hips bucking wildly as he spills himself into the soft skin. For several moments, Gale lies there panting and gasping for breath.

"Oh, gods," he gasps out. "That was...amazing."

You lean and press a gentle kiss to his lips, smiling at him as you do.

"I'm glad it brought you pleasure," you whisper softly, running your fingers through his hair.

Suddenly, his skilled fingers find their way back to your core. He seems to sense that you didn't reach climax with him earlier and now he's determined to make sure you do. His touch is intense as he circles and rubs against your clit, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body. You let out a moan, arching your back and grinding against his hand. He watches you with intense desire in his eyes as he continues to pleasure you.

"Gods, you're so beautiful," he murmurs, his voice husky with lust. "I am not going to be able to forget this."

His words only fuel your desire even more, and you can feel yourself getting closer to the edge once again. Your nails dig into his shoulders as you ride the waves of pleasure, your hips moving in sync with his fingers.

"I want to make you feel good," Gale says breathlessly, kissing along your neck and collarbone. "Tell me what feels good."

You guide his hand lower, signaling for him to enter you with his fingers. He complies eagerly, sliding two fingers inside of you and curling them just right to hit that perfect spot. You cry out in pleasure, your walls clenching around him. You know you are not going to last long, still sensitive from the previous ministrations.

"Thank the heavens and hells," Gale groans, looking at me like I am a work of art. Setting a steady pace with his fingers, he kisses down your chest and takes one nipple into his mouth. The combination of sensations has you teetering on the edge once again.

"I-I'm close," you manage to say between gasps.

"Come for me," Gale whispers against your skin, increasing the speed and pressure of his movements.

With a final thrust of his fingers and a flick of his tongue against your hardened nipple, you come undone in a powerful climax that leaves you panting and shaking in Gale's arms. He holds onto you tightly as he continues to pleasure you through the aftershocks.

"That was incredible," he murmurs against your skin as he peppers kisses all over your face.

"Yes it was," you reply dreamily, still basking in the afterglow.

Gale pulls out from between your thighs and settles down next to you, his strong arms enveloping you in a warm embrace. As you press your body closer to his, you feel a subtle shift, an unspoken understanding passing between the two of you. Instead of voicing it out loud, you turn to him and whisper,

"Thank you very much, Gale. Goodnight"

[r3starttt]

OBLIVIATE | 02

ellabs x reader | series m.list | > 01 > 03

CW: modern!au. +18 content. poly relationship. POC friendly. ellabs x reader. | hate sex (AxE). thigh riding (E). hair pulling (E). fingering. edging. orgasm denial. mean Abby.

SUMMARY: Yearning for warmth and protection, you find yourself tangled in complicated relationships. Abby's charm wins your parents' favor, overshadowing everything else, while Ellie's struggle for independence clashes with your own expectations.

PRELUDE TO ECSTASY

Those portraits of women who have huge animals on their laps- your parents had several of them in their summer house. You always wondered if they were real; at seven years old, they seemed quite convincing.

They instilled in you a longing for the warmth that came with holding the weight of those beasts on your lap, a craving for the love and protection they symbolized. You imagined the comfort and guardianship they could provide, yearning to feel that unconditional affection, to be seen without fear, to not be bitten.

It was scary to see them when it was night and you had to walk from your room to the bathroom and vice versa. Yet, something within you reminded you that behind those eyes was no mere beast—they weren't real. Under the warm daylight steaming through the windows, your fear transformed into a desire for their presence, and perhaps that was your issue—logic.

It it was scary, even if it was only during nights, why couldn't you allow the fear within your childish brain.

In the bathroom you once shared with your cousins, there was a large mirror. It was funny to brush your teeth with them, making weird faces, playing with the loud water that ran down the sink. It was funny to look at yourself while your mother brushed your hair, or pretend you were disgusted whenever your dad came to kiss your mom and say goodnight to you.

You would look at your reflection during those nights, admiring your tidy hair now braided by your mother. Your eyes would naturally look at the door, imagining if maybe there was something behind it that you didn't see before you closed it.

Now it's only memories, a mirror no longer shared, barely used. A mirror that pictures you being held by heavy hands, a mirror that reflects the bruises on your neck drawn by hungry lips.

"Ellie's still sleeping" a voice brought you back to the present, the beginning. blonde hair appearing in your peripheral vision. The sunlight from the bathroom skylight gave it an ethereal glow. "I can still smell the alcohol," you said, your voice sharper than intended. Abby just laughed

-

One thing is certain: you didn't forget what you learnt during study session. Neither did Ellie, and well, Abby didn't have to do much.

Blabber over blabber praised by their tongues, their wet lips on your body. If you somehow forgot a term, a name, a date, they had you waiting, forcing you to study again and see- hear them instead.

Ellie's tattoo on full display, hugging the warmth of Abby's flesh, right in front of you. Hungry tongues dancing against each other, soft and quiet whines brushing Abby's lips.

Perhaps there is truth in the saying that discipline and determination pay off, and that studying with others enhance your efficiency.

After great notes and a few self made parties to celebrate, you had only one request to make before Abby graduated.

"My parents have this religious summer vacation routine... I uhm- I'd really like to spend more time together before you leave." Her fingers intertwined with yours, ocean-blue eyes fixed on your puppy-like gaze. With a soft nod, she made you feel secure, safe, and tranquil.

"Yeah?" red puffy lips pressing against yours for what felt like the millionth time that hour. "Sure, why not? It'll be fun." she inquired.

You wondered if you should have ignored how your body reacted to her, if things would have ended differently had you not been blinded by your parents' respect and collage girl's admiration.

If maybe avoiding drinking on the first day Ellie met your parents would have revealed the truth before you gave in temptation.

-

"Hey, gotta get ready, yeah?" careful fingers brushed the auburn messy hair of an unconscious Ellie laying on your childhood bed. Groans and mumbles escaped from her lips, weak eyes being hit by the sun that entered with no warning through the room's windows.

"Abby" the stern of your tone elicting a weak laugh from her, whose hands shifted from the courtains to the bed you've shared with the auburn. Her eyes fixated on Ellies body too, half covered by a white blanket.

"Wanna marry her and can't even make it to have breakfast with her parents" Abbys muscles embraced William's hips over the blanket. "Fuck off Abigail" You slapped the hand in front of Ellie's sleepy face, her palm joilting at it.

Ellie stirred, pushing Abby's body off as she sat up in bed, her eyes flickering open. She looked at your still-pajama-clad body, confused. Her eyes glanced to Abby's. "The fuck are you so mad about, I thought you were dressed already"

Her sock-covered feet hitting the cold floor with each weak mad step as she headed to the shared bathroom.

"Don't even have shit to put on" muffled vocals hitting your ears the moment you stepped in the bathroom too. Hazel eyes glancing back at your reflection. "Dress however you feel more comfortable and... yeah. It'll be fine, promise" nails digged at your clavicle, walking across the bathroom to meet the hall that leaded to Abby's room, to change into more suitable clothes.

Ellie walked back to the room, toothbrush being held by her lips. Her eyes met Abby's.

"You make me look like a fucking loser" Anderson's body straightened to sit on the bed, her elbows resting on her knees as she spoke through her eyes. "You are one" she retorted, almost receiving a slap on the face by a towel on Ellie's hand "I don't wanna marry her"

-

"God, look at these beautiful young ladies," your mother's sharp voice pierced the air, making you almost want to cover your ears. She planted kisses on Abby's and Ellie's cheeks, her eyes scanning them up and down. Your father, much quieter, greeted them both with a nod.

Abby took it all in stride, reminding you of the first day you met her. Ellie, however, seemed uncomfortable with your mother's loudness and constant scrutiny. You stood behind your mom, making small gestures to calm her down and ease her discomfort.

it was evident who your parents favored. Your mother immediately asked Abby to sit beside her, leaving you to find a seat elsewhere. Despite the sting of this obvious preference, you found solace in Ellie's hands resting gently on your thighs and knees throughout the long, tedious hour. You were expected to sit there, look presentable, and talk about your long nights of drinking before classes as if they were accomplishments.

No matter what you said, the conversation inevitably shifted back to Abby and her magnetic presence. "Anderson," your dad mumbled, looking to your mother for any hint of approval before attempting to speak. "Did your father—" he began, but Abby cut him off. "You knew him?" she asked, instantly brightening the room. Your dad's face lit up as he heard Abby's father's name. "He was... admirable, always so responsible. He must be proud of you."

The scene before you, the warmth and approval you had longed for, was now lavished on a blonde girl who embodied everything your parents claimed to disdain—the epitome of the perfect, responsible rich.

The irony was almost too much to bear, yet you reminded yourself that this was exactly why you wanted her, despite the pain.

"Is that so? I remember you—" you started, but your mother cut you off with a sharp look that spoke volumes. "Don't say nonsense," she snapped. Your father gently murmured your name, a quiet plea for you to behave.

"You're identical to him," your dad continued, his voice pulling you out of your thoughts. Abby's voice filled the silence, her grateful and flawless demeanor captivating everyone.

Ellie, on the other hand, focused on her food, her hazel eyes occasionally meeting yours with a subtle smile. Her demeanor remained unreadable until your mother finally acknowledged her. "Ellie, what about your family?" she asked. "We've heard you're quite smart. You also have a band, don't you?" your dad added, trying to ease the tension.

Ellie brushed off their questions with a dismissive "Nothing serious," before answering the barrage of inquiries about boyfriends, families, and finances—anything superficial that your mother could use to critique her or Abby, or both.

Your earlier words echoed in your mind: "Don't take it personally." This was the price of having people serve you warm eggs, fresh orange juice, and the most exquisite bread you had ever tasted.

-

The sun's warmth enveloped your bare back, a towel beneath you, your head resting on your crossed arms, and your chin nestled in your hands. Ellie lay beside you, her thumb incessantly scrolling through her phone, the sound loud and persistent.

You could hear Abby's lively conversation with your parents, despite the distance. Though you couldn’t see them, your mother's laughter and Ellie's focused eyes indicated that everyone was enjoying themselves.

"Is she always like this?" William's voice cut through, perhaps more sharply than intended. The loud thud of Ellie's phone landing on the grass beneath your sunbeds followed her words. "Yeah... they're born and raised rich, y'know?"

Ellie mimicked your position, her freckled face and reddened cheeks resting on her arms. She seemed hesitant, her tongue flicking across her lips before speaking. "I know what it's like... to beg for everything?"

You frowned at her comment. "What?" It might have been obvious that you weren’t the most cherished child, and maybe she sensed you sought your parents' approval to stave off loneliness. But begging? You didn’t beg. You planned and made things work.

"Your parents... I saw you looking at Abby earlier," Ellie said with a sheepish smile, her cheeks pressing against her arm, making her lips look puffy. "Hey, it's okay. I hate her too." you could tell she'd intended to make it hurt less.

You playfully shushed her with an outstretched arm. "I don't hate her." You shook your head slightly and adjusted yourself for a better view of her.

"Yeah, well your eyes said something else," she teased, the warmth between your bodies giving way to a silence filled only with birds chirping and distant chatter.

Taking a deep breath, you turned to gaze at the pool, where sunrays glinted off the water and leaves drifted lazily. "Why did you say that? Begging for everything?" you murmured, your voice muffled by your chin pressed against your arms.

"I- uhm" she paused a bit "Abby's helping me with money," Ellie admitted, her messy bun bobbing hesitantly to look at you, cherry cheeks shining on your direction. "Sometimes it feels like she enjoys it, like it makes her feel humble."

A simple hum of agreement seemed sufficient, but you felt the need to say more. "Well, my parents would be more than glad to help... if necessary."

Ellie had grown closer to you than she anticipated, seeing herself in you in ways Abby never could. Before her, she was just like you. And hearing that had stung her, made her physically weak.

Sometimes she wondered if being friends with Abby had brought her problems—the greed, the endless desire for more, the physical need for more, the hunger to prove herself.

You were the only relationship she believed could flourish without needing anything more than mutual attention. But when she saw who you were under your parents' eyes, things changed for her.

When Abby first pointed you out, Ellie hoped for another chance to meet you. If given the chance to start over, she would take it. Abby would leave soon, and she refused to be left alone with the life built for her. Meeting you at the library erased that fear. Even though you needed both Abby and her, Ellie knew she couldn't offer you the world, which maybe is and will always be what you need.

Coming here felt like voicing an uncomfortable truth aloud. You know it could cause problems, so you swallow the feelings until someone forces you to spit them out, and then the humiliation and messiness spills out with the words. And it's disgusting.

"That's the fucking problem," Ellie muttered.

Your gaze followed her as she hurriedly gathered her shirt and phone, her movements urgent and tense. Seated on the sunbed, you shielded your eyes from the glaring sun with one hand. You knew that any attempt to argue, reason, or even touch her would be futile, so you let her go, confident that you’d see her again eventually.

Abby grabbed her shoulders, her brow furrowing as she took in the sight of the auburn-haired girl’s distressed face. Her eyes flicked over to you and then back to her until Ellie pushed her away.

You shifted on the sunbed, crossing your legs and letting your arms dangle loosely over the sides, your hands lightly slapping against your thighs. You waited for Abby to approach.

"Why's she mad? What did you do?" Abby's voice sounded genuinely concerned, though her tone had a nonchalant, even mocking edge.

"Nothing," you murmured.

Abby removed her shirt and tossed it onto the sunbed Ellie had vacated moments ago. "What did she say?" you asked, referring to your mother, as you glanced back at Abby struggling with her shoes.

"Uh, nothing," she groaned, settling onto the unused sunbed. "Something about her being hot when she was younger and successful and whatever." You furrowed your brows, a weak smile playing on your lips in confusion. "Bet you've heard it a lot."

"So, she was actually serious. She wants to meet my dad, that's all," you nodded, quietly lying back before Abby stopped you with a click of her tongue.

She extended her hand towards you, tilting her head towards the pool. With a reluctant look, you moved towards her and took her hand, standing up.

"So, are you going to tell me what happened?" Abby’s hands rested on your hips, the warmth of the water surrounding your bodies comfortably as the sun began to lose its intensity.

"I offered to help with the money but—" Abby cut you off, taking your hands and guiding you as she swam beneath a tree, the shade allowing her to see your troubled face more clearly.

"I'll talk to her later, yeah? It'll pass," you shook your head.

Ellie wasn’t known for her patience, but she had her reasons for being upset. You had noticed that she was generally tolerant when it came to Abby, but her vulnerability increased when others were involved.

"Hey, I mean it," Abby interrupted your thoughts again. "You know she doesn’t like help"

-

You couldn’t help but steal a glance through the window, curiosity piquing as you crept closer to the wall, the tall grass scratching at your legs.

The curtain covered most of the room, allowing only the smallest glimpse inside.

Their voices were audible, they had locked themselves in a few minutes ago. However the sudden quietness was unsettling.

You knew they wouldn't resort to physical violence, at least not to the extent of actually hurting each other. But with a few weeks left until the end of summer, you desperately needed them to get along.

The thought of your parents mocking you for inviting problematic strangers into their home was unbearable. Being stuck with them in the middle of nowhere for the next few weeks was even worse.

"I guess you're right. We've done more than we should've" Abby's voice cut through the silence as the couch creaked beneath her shifting weight. She smoothed her shirt, her hands tracing down her sides to rest in the pockets of her shorts. "You're on your own after this."

From your limited perspective, you could only glimpse Ellie's legs, clad in baggy jeans that trembled with the rhythm of her incessantly tapping foot. Abby's voice, soft but stern, cut through the tension, "I don't want to see you again," she repeated, each shaky step bringing her closer to the door.

Ellie stood abruptly, closing the distance between them. The silence that followed was thick, almost suffocating.

"You're not leaving," Ellie declared, her head shaking in denial. Her fingers fidgeted nervously, tracing invisible patterns on her palms. Though her voice wavered, betraying her anger and hurt.

"I'm not doing this," Abby retorted. Ellie's hands quickly latched onto Abby's, gripping with a force that promised bruises. "No, no, I'm not doing this. I'm not going to fight you," Abby insisted, her hands weakly attempting to push Ellie away.

"Yes, you will." Books cascaded off the bookshelf as Abby's body collided with it, eliciting a pained hiss. Abby’s fingers found Ellie's short auburn hair, tugging with palpable frustration. "Motherfucker," Ellie spat back.

Their breaths mingled, heavy and hot, each exhale hitting the other's face. Their expressions were a mix of frowns and quivering lips, their grips weakening with each passing second. Their eyes flickered with a mix of hate, pain, and regret.

Abby braced herself for cutting words or another bruising touch, but it didn't come, not how she expected.

Ellie's lips brushed against Abby's, a contact filled with irritation and even disgust. And then it hit them, the realization that, despite any mutual hatred, they were irresistibly drawn to each other.

Their bond was unavoidable—an intense mix of purity and violence that kept them intertwined in most intimate ways. A bond you had messed.

Abby’s fingers yanked Ellie's hair again in frustration. Ellie's lips, still connected by a trail of saliva, sought more, but the tight grip on her hair kept her at bay.

You could barely see, a sense of wrongness, shock and a morbid fascination rooting you to the spot you've been standing on for a few minutes now.

It was loud and messy. Abby's hands and body guiding Ellie who could only moan and groan in response. Sitting on a couch almost for you to see, which you didn't giving hurried steps against the grass to lead yourself to the back of the house and search for your parents.

Ellie's tattoo hiding underneath Abby's clothes, calloused fingers savoring every muscle, every inch of skin. Legs intertwined, Abby's hands gripping and slapping William's ass. "Fucking grind on 'em" she ordered.

And Ellie didn't hesitate. her proud getting hurt at each whimper she pressed against Abby's flesh, leaving open mouthed kisses. saliva wetting Abby's neck, jaw and chin.

Anderson's fingers gripping at Ellie's ass, guiding each movement on her own lap. thumb gripping the back belt loops of the auburn's jeans.

"Look at you..." Abby mocked Ellie’s current state. Half-lided eyes, mad and pained looking straight at her, flushed cheeks and plump lips letting out quiet groans. her hands making circles along the fat of Ellie's ass, leading her up her thigh, then down her knee. Ellie let out small whimpers, already pooling Abby's leg, clenching at the emptiness.

Abby bounced her leg. the vibrations hitting Ellie's already wet pussy. "What would she say if she saw this? mhm? if she really knew?" Ellie shocked her head, the humiliation blinding the pleasure briefly. "No?" Abby laughed. The plush of Ellie's thighs harshly gripped by Abby's fingers.

Abby leaned closer, her hands cupping Ellie's face, slowly moving behind her neck.

"Fucking slut you are Williams" she murmured. Her fingers now gripping at Ellie's hair once again. "Fuck- I'm sorry!" Ellie hissed, the grip on her hair tightening at her apologize.

"Shut up" She purposely lifted her leg again, bouncing it just to feel her knee against Ellie's cunt, eliciting a silent plead.

"Told you to shut up" Abby hissed. her hands leaving the auburn's ass, slapping it just a few seconds later. pleasure and pain starting to mix just right near Ellie's cunt.

Anderson's fingers trapped ellies cheeks. a tight grip on her hair to pull her face back so she could take a proper look of it. Puffy lips on a forced pout, eyebrows furrowed and nose slightky srunched.

She let go of Ellie's hair. Hands running hungrily to the zipper of her jeans, making enough space for her hand to fit in. "You make a fucking sound and I leave"

The moment Abby's fingers touched Ellie's puffy clit, all that annoyance she'd been kipping on her transformed into weakness, a disgusting need for being seen and touched by Abby.

William's lips giving Abby the privilege of hearing her quiet agitated breathing, whines and pleads over and over again.

"So wet mhm? Like it when I do that?" Abby mocked. her fingers rubbing painfully slow circles over Ellie's clit. legs open enough so the callouses of her hands could rub against her clit and eventually down her clothet folds.

The wet in Ellie's hole spreading all over boxers. Abby's leg bouncing felt like hell, yet she couldn't help but rub herself on it, riding the blonde's fingers.

Calloused digits moving underneath the auburn's boxers, hand lingering on the mound of her pussy, cupping it. Ellie's drool escaping her pressed lips, covering Abby's hand each second that went by.

Abby took her time, scissoring Ellie's folds, feeling the wet mess she'd made on her.

Eventually feeding her ego at each thrust. sticky arousal connecting her hand to Ellie's cunt, hitting and rubbing her clit coincidentally.

"like that? yeah?," Ellie didn't bother in letting out more than muffled whines against her hand. "you're so wet, aren't you ashamed?" Her mocking replied by Ellie's fingers toying with the hem of Abby's shirt.

Until Abby stopped, abruptly. "You wanted this" she hissed, her hands smoothly leaving William's body. "And I'll make sure she knows"

Reblogs and Comments very much appreciated!!!

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[dawnoftime22]

nightly terrors.

| N.R

Warnings: nightmares, but no specific description about it.

Summary: When you have endless nightmares in the middle of the night, you end up seeking comfort from the sleeping redhead beside you.

Word Count: 1k

Category: Fluff

A/N: can you tell I have sleeping problems from the amount of sleeping fics I have? :')

| Started on 27/09/2023, 10:19 PM |

| Finished on 28/10/2023, 3:07 PM |

Masterlist

“Hold me. In these quiet nights, just hold me.”

|——————————— ⴵ ———————————|

It was yet another night of endless nightmares. You had gotten one earlier already, but instead of waking Nat up, you had decided to wait it out, and eventually you went back to sleep.

It wasn't something to worry over much really, but then you had gotten yet another one, more so it was worse, and there's no way you're getting back to sleep now. Not anyone could've gone back to sleep after having such terrors like those.

You wondered why, because all you wanted was a good night's sleep, but it seemed impossible to get one without waking up with your heart beating fast and loudly.

You stare at Nat's sleeping figure, her back facing you while your breathing was scattered from the nightmare.

With hesitation, you shuffle a little closer to her after taking a deep breath to collect yourself slightly. You reach out your hand, gently shaking her shoulder.

"N-Nat...?" your voice was small, and it wavered as you called out her name, but with a last shake, she slowly woke up with a confused hum.

Her eyes started to slowly open, blinking away the sleepiness. When she saw the tears falling down your cheeks, and further more, heard your sniffling, her eyes opened quicker.

"...Oh, моя любов (my love), what happened?" her voice comes out groggily, but softly. Her hand instantly went up to cup your cheek, letting the tears soak her thumb instead, and her russian having come out so easily because of her tiredness.

"Nightmare." the one word quietly whispered from you was enough for her to understand. Having had her very own horrid flashbacks in the midst of nighttime, and you being there for her before. Just as she is for you now.

She puts her arms around your body, and pulls you closer, holding you gently. You go to hide in the crook of her neck, having felt it gave you even more of a sense of safety, but with her actually there beside you now, you already know nothing could come close to either of you. Her soft shushes were like a gentle melody.

"You're safe now, детка (baby)." She puts a kiss on the top of your head, whispering reassurances while she dragged her thumb back and forth, rubbing your back. Your heartbeat starts to slow down to a steady pulse while you held her like she was about to disappear.

Although her comforting did ease down your breathing, you were still shaking. Nat turns on the dim lamp next to her, so the room could be lit up. And, perhaps, hoping that it'll make the monsters in your head fear away from the light, too.

When Nat looked to turn the light switch on, she also took a chance to glance at the clock. Four am. The sun itself hasn't even gotten up either. Her heart ached at seeing you wake up with almost as much fear as she does, but she takes her moment to think about every little thing you did to take care of her countless times before.

You were missing the comfort of her touch, she knew. So, in replacement of her hand that was once on your back off to grab some things, she places her other hand.

She takes ahold of the tv remote, remembering to instantly reduce the volume so any loud noise coming from it wouldn't suddenly leave you shaking worse from shock.

Her hand kept it's comforting touches on you, with her whispering sweet little reassurances every now and then as she loaded up your favorite film. One of the few remedies the two of you had when the other had nightmares.

She sets the tv remote down and takes your shaking hand into her steady one, leaving a kiss on the soft skin of your knuckles that were white from your grip of a fist from before. Your head turns to hide into her shoulder, her little gestures of love luring you out from the terror. The grip you held loosens when love wins over fear.

As the familiar sounds of your favorite film playing in the background fills your ears, the shaking in your bones start to settle down.

You turn around, moving to lay your head on her chest while she keeps her embrace on you gently, keeping you safe from anything and everything.

The screen wasn't blinding, thankfully, Nat had already adjusted the brightness. The scenes played on the tv, and though the redhead was as tired as you were, her eyes were focused on both you and the film, hoping the story was distracting enough for her to keep herself awake.

All the while Natasha was trying to keep her eyes open, yours, on the other hand, was starting to falter already.

As the film progressed, slowly, Natasha starts to notice just how quiet you've been, and how soft your breathing is now. Once she's fully taken notice by leaning over slightly to look at you, she sees your eyes closed peacefully in slumber. She hopes you don't wake up with another nightmare. All the redhead wanted to do was go in your head and rid it of any scary situations, and instead fill it with content and happy moments.

If only she was Wanda. But that didn't matter. All she has to do and is doing is her best to take care of you, and it's working out perfectly. She was sure to plan something for tomorrow though, just to make you forget even just a little, of whatever had left you shaking so badly in the middle of your sleep.

She gently pushes a strand of hair off your face, careful not to tickle your skin and wake you up, and then retreated back to her comfortable position. She turns off the tv and the lamp, wanting to drift back off to sleep as you had.

With the moon still glowing high in the sky, and with her arms around you keeping you safe, the both of you know the only morning that'll greet you later will be a peaceful one.

-----------------------------------

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[ivesambrose]

ᴄʀʏᴘᴛɪᴄ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇꜱ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴇᴇᴅᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇᴀʀ

───────✧❁✧───────

1. 2.

3. 4.

Don't think too much

Trust your intuition to guide you

“The answers you seek never come when the mind is busy, they come when the mind is still, when silence speaks loudest.”

— Leon Brown

♪ಇ⋆❀

To book a personal reading with me DM or email me at Ivesambrose@gmail.com

Personal Readings

Masterpost

Thank you for the tip

Picture 1

You have shared space and spend so much time with your sadness and lonesome for so long that they almost feel like old friends. It's time to bid them farewell too. The beginning is always daunting, the first few steps feels like a bundle of nerves entangled inside your chest. But you have wanted this haven't you? You have been patient searching for the light at the end of the tunnel and now it's here beaconing you.

Adorn yourself with everything you fancy. Stop waiting for the perfect time.

You'd never know who's watching perhaps the right set of eyes.

Timings: Libra season, 4 days - 4 weeks.

Picture 2

Emerging from the ruins, you feel like a freshly healed scar. And now, let yourself be held, let yourself bloom in arms that have ached just as much to hold you too. It's safe here.

There's a promise, an offer, a gift, a token, hold it with generous hands. It'll grow on it's own, you can look away from it.

They feel like a friend from a different life, it's going to be alright.

And when you inevitably succeed, hold your head high.

Timings: Scorpio Season, the message is on it's way.

Picture 3

Even if the dawn were to break it seems like the night doesn't want to let you go. What are you hiding? Who are you hiding from? Are you deluding yourself with habits that keep you from making a choice that could change your life for the better.

You can't keep drinking and sleeping this away, my love. The sun will inevitably shine on that pretty face and you'll know what you've done is enough.

Why can't you accept it?

That this is enough?

Timings: slow down, no need to rush. It's on going.

Picture 4

You'll receive your wings and you'll learn to spread them and you'll find those who share the same feathers and I promise you're leaving it all behind, my darling you've finally learnt how to fly.

You're glad aren't you? That it ended? It's peaceful isn't it?

Soon the peace will become jitters, the kind you feel when you're taking the first step.

Jump now, it's a soft landing, you've done it many times and lived to tell the tale anyway.

Timings: It's here, you don't have to look for it, have faith.

[tayraedoll]

Drag Me to Hell

You purchase an old radio at an antique store that turns out to be haunted as fuck. Will you successfully banish the demon back to hell before he can take you with him? Just to be safe MDNI 18+ Only!

So I meant to write this as a one-shot but it quickly got away from me so now it is a full, multi-chapter fic. What can I say? I have lost all control of my life...

TW: Horror, Alastor is his own warning, blood, gore, swearing, crude and dark humor, hallucinations, reader is not an exorcist expert- don't try this at home, more tags to be added as the story progresses.

Part 2

"Do we really have to go in?", you whine to your best friend Kate, scrunching your nose in disgust at the literal shack with a rusty, old "Antiques" sign.

Kate giggles at your antics,"Oh come on; it'll be fun! Who knows what treasures we might find?" She grabs your arm and pulls you through the door behind her; the little bell atop the door chimes merrily to signal your entrance. You look around, as far as you were concerned there was junk piled high in every direction. Taking stock of the room you were in you notice old Coke bottles, cigar boxes, a china cabinet filled with those creepy ass 'Precious Moments' figurines, and a shit ton of clothes that were even too outdated for your grandmother to wear.

"You're counting literal trash as treasure now? That explains your dating history", you deadpan at your friend.

"Bitch I said we MIGHT find treasure! But you gotta dig through the dirt to reach it first", Kate rolls her eyes at you but smiles at your jab. Gentle bullying was just how you showed each other your love. She walks further into the store, perusing through all the trinkets on the shelves. You follow after her, trying your best to not make eye contact with those Precious Moments dolls whose eyes seemed to follow you as you pass by.

You enter an adjacent room, this one filled with tin cooking instruments in varying degrees of disrepair. A portly, older gentleman with greying hair sat behind a register with a large tabby cat on the table. The cat lets out a loud yowl at the pair of you but the man says nothing as he watches you carefully in case you try to steal anything. 'What in here is even worth stealing?' you think to yourself. You smile at him politely and quickly move onto the next room, this one filled with old toys...yikes.

"So how do you know when you find "treasure?", you ask, using your fingers to put air quotations around the word treasure. Kate picks up a particularly disturbing looking baby doll and wiggles it in front of your face.

"When you find something you just can't leave without!", she laughs as you flinch back, glaring at her- you had told her your hatred of dolls in good faith and here she was using that information against you. She places the demonic toy back on the shelf and you give it another glare for good measure- not today Annabelle.

The next area was only slightly less disturbing; it looked like a middle-aged housewife was allowed to decorate it with all the "Live, Laugh, Love" and "Wine a Little, Laugh A Lot" signs all around. "Jesus Fucking Christ does this place never end?! It didn't look this big from outside!", you exclaim in exasperation. Kate carded through a stack of pictures and paintings.

"Perhaps if you actually looked for something that strikes your fancy you'd have a better time", she absentmindedly replied. You sigh but raise your hands in surrender, she had a point there. You make your way to the back, knowing nothing in this basic Karen of a room was going to please you.

When you reach the next room your eyes light up,"A ha! Now this room is interesting!", you call back to Kate. It was a music-themed room full of old records, CD's, posters, and stereos. As a music major in college you felt your heart soar at the sight of all the little pieces of music history surrounding you. You immediately dig into the records, wondering if you could find something new for your collection that was in decent shape. Maybe it was old school of you, but nothing beat the crisp sound of a record; records made you feel like the music was surrounding you, like you could see and taste the notes making it a full-body sensory experience.

Kate joins you, letting out a curt laugh,"I should have guessed it would be a music room." Your frown slightly as you reach the end of the records without finding anything of note for your collection. You sigh heavily at the disappointment that fills your chest.

"Too bad this room turned out to be a du-", you trail off as you catch sight of it. On the top shelf at the far end of the room sat an ornate, antique radio. It was cathedral-shaped, made of a dark- almost black- wood, the face painted a bright crimson. The speakers resembled a throne and below the control panel were large, yellow slices that resembled flames...or a very creepy smile. You gently plucked the fragile-looking radio from the shelf; it was a lot sturdier than it looked, feeling pretty hefty in your hands. You turn it around in your hands, it appeared to be battery-powered like most radios were prior to the 1930's. You wondered if it would work today.

"Find something interesting?", Kate asked beside you. She made a face at the old radio, "No offense but that thing is creepy AF!"

"It is no creepier than that doll earlier!", you defend your unique find. "I think I'll purchase it", you state with finality and make your way back to the front. The old man speaks little more than just to tell you your total cost, the cat joining him as they stare at you distrustfully. 'Jeez, cranky old coot', you think.

Back at your home you tinker around with the radio, polishing it up a bit and adding some new batteries. Your home was small, just a 1-bedroom and bathroom place that you were renting on the outskirts of New Orleans. You decorated modestly, a bookshelf with your favorite novels and records took up an entire wall of your small living room. The TV was small and pushed into a corner, you really only used it for background noise most days. You had one small but comfortable couch that you mostly used to work on. You were a writer for OffBeat, New Orleans' local music magazine. It was a great gig that let you work from home, even if you weren't compensated the best being a new writer on the team. You spent most of your days writing about Jazz and The Blues, local concerts and events coming up, and interviewing rising artists.

You placed the radio up on top of your bookshelf, you'd try to get it to work tomorrow. As you were pushing it back onto the shelf you felt a sharp sting in your finger, "Ah! Fuck!", you exclaim as you quickly pull your finger back. You inspect it, finding a drop of blood leaking out of your skin; you must have accidentally cut yourself on one of the yellow ornamental parts. You raise your bleeding finger to your lips and gently suck the small wound to soothe it. Sparing one last glance up to the radio, you turn off the light and head to bed.

Completely missing how the smile of the radio that just bit into you started to eerily glow in the dark after you.

[enkvyu]

ask game — prompt from this request

“you kiss your mother with that mouth?”

there’s an extra thump in gojo’s heartbeat.

his hands are sweaty even though he’s swiped his palms along his jeans a million times. he feels light headed, perhaps due to the sun peeking through the train window, and his thoughts are playing bumper cars inside his skull.

his mouth is dry, his body is begging him to relax his stiff posture, and he’s nervous. too much blood is rushing to his brain and not enough air is entering his lungs. he thinks he might need some water, but he's worried that if he tries drinking it'll just dribble down his chin.

you sleep peacefully through his panic.

the gentle rumble of wheels along rails lulls you into a shallow sleep, not the kind that has you wishing for a deeper slumber, but just enough rest for your heart to slow and your breathing to deepen.

your pillow is soft. it’s sturdy against your cheek and smells really, really nice, like fresh laundry hung out under the summer sun. it’s also warm, which is an obvious bonus. you snuggle into the heat, exhaling softly when you’re comfortable.

a sudden incline of the train track makes the carriage jolt, and your eyes widen at the shift in gravity.

“what’s happening?” your words slur together as you lift your head from your pillow to survey your surroundings.

you find gojo sitting beside you, oddly rigid and close by.

“why is your shoulder next to my head?”

gojo clears his throat, his eyes darting to you then away. “no reason.”

accepting his answer, you yawn and stretch your arms above your head. your hands collide with the compartment above and you’re once again reminded of where you were.

“when’s the train arriving?” you ask.

gojo flips his phone around to check the time. “you were asleep for forty minutes, so we still have an hour to go.”

“an hour? that long?”

“that’s why i said you should have let me warp us there instead.”

“i’d rather die.” you immediately decline. “last time i let you teleport us to the mission site, we ended up in california.”

“california is a great place!”

“our mission was in finland.”

gojo huffs, crossing his arms over his chest. the gesture blocks you off and you know he is sulking.

it's clear your words have wedged its way deep into gojo's heart, leaving a wound that'll only grow and become infected if you don't soothe him with flattery. “maybe next time, okay? sometime after you’ve mastered your technique which, i'm sure won't take long since you've always been so competent.”

he remains quiet, but you can almost see his ears perk towards you.

"the most competent out of the lot of us!"

he shifts closer, though his arms are still crossed at his front.

"throughout heaven and earth, you alone are the competent one?"

he finally turns over to you, loosening his posture. there's still doubt in his eyes but it is as expected; dealing with a sulky gojo was never going to be easy. “if you don’t trust me, you can just say that.” he pouts.

“okay, i don’t trust you.”

he tilts his body further away from you.

you're quick to reach over and hook your hand under his arm, pulling it towards you in hopes that he'll face you once again. you made a mistake, a slight slip of the tongue and now your progress had been reset. "my bad! but seriously, aren't you tired of playing the victim all the time?"

"excuse me?"

"i mean." you bite your lip, sealing away any more harsh remarks that might leave your mouth unintentionally. "you... are crazy cool! you're the best, gojo. i deeply apologise for my words earlier."

his mouth hangs open. "i think the one who's crazy is you. how do you always find something to complain about?"

"you're telling that to me? as if you weren't treating this entire train ride like your own personal therapy session. i did not need to know how much you struggled on the toilet this morning."

"it's a sign of being unhealthy! that's a very big concern!"

"one that you can bring up with shoko, not me." you easily deflect. "i could not care less about your health even if i tried."

"you are so mean."

you shrug. "i think you're just being a pissy boy."

"you kiss your mother with that mouth?" he asks. "and she lets you? even though her child is a mean, spiteful, terrible person?"

he doesn't appreciate how his eyes flicker down to your lips at the mention, suddenly growing conscious of how he had begun to lean in during the heated conversation. you look none the different, face carved into your usual expression of disinterest.

it irks him.

wasn't it unfair how unfazed you seemed whilst he was running a marathon in his head? wasn't it simply annoying how much you looked like you were falling asleep again, even though his thoughts were held captive by the sight of you?

"where did you think my attitude comes from in the first place?" there's a lazy grin on your face that only makes gojo heat up even more—because it made him mad, not because it looked good on you, he tells himself.

"if you kissed me i wouldn't like it." he says, then immediately slaps a hand over his mouth.

you give him the strangest look you can muster. "sorry?"

"i mean, because, i'm saying i wouldn't like it because you are such a mean person. that's all i'm saying, there's nothing else i'm trying to tell you. you're a horrible person. that's what i meant." gojo splutters. "not because i want you to kiss me. that would be such a strange thing to say. which is why i wasn't saying that."

there's a silence that fills the carriage, broken only from the hum of the train. gojo thinks he can hear his brain explode in the absence of sound before you finally burst out into laughter.

"oh my god, gojo! i never thought you would be the type of person that gets flustered over something like talking about kissing." you say around your giggles, smothering them with your palm as you watch gojo grow red. "especially since you brought it up."

gojo hisses, turning away to rest his chin on his hand, elbow on the aisle armrest. he pointedly ignores your attempts to get him to face you. "me neither." he mumbles into his hand.

"it's kind of cute."

"shut up."

"you're getting redder!"

"ignore it."

you only quiet down when a few minutes passes, making snide remarks at his oddly still state before sighing in satisfaction. you check the time on your phone and note that there was still a long way to go before you arrived. placing it on silent, you tap gojo on the shoulder. "wake me up before the train gets to our stop, okay?"

he makes a noise that you take as agreement, considering that he won't bear to look at you, before adjusting yourself and closing your eyes.

the train ride is silent save for your silent snores and the internal monologue of gojo's breakdown. his body grows stiff when he feels a pressure on his shoulder.

looking over, he finds you using him as a pillow again.

the embarrassment of his earlier words and his slight realisation that you made him feel weird, made him feel warm and nervous all over, makes this action deadly. with his heart racing, he sighs and shifts around so that you were more comfortable. the gesture is appreciated, and you sigh softly in your sleep.

the sight of you is pure torture and gojo finds himself unable to chase sleep as easily as you do. he stays awake until the train halts at the station, ignoring your question on why he looked so tired.

i'll write the other requests tmrw !! i'm sorry that this doesn't rlly have much to do with the prompt but i think i'm starting to lose my mind

[dont-offend-the-bees]

If the Shoe Fits, Then I Won’t Try It On

Omg I made it! Threw this one together today, so might not be my best! But thanks to my pal @every-moment-a-different-sound making these gorgeous gifs for my fic Outside Looking In, and also @wordsinhaled writing this lovely little fic inspired by it, I felt compelled to pop back in and give the disguise altar egos a little love! So this one is set pre-canon, about seven years into the boys' friendship/detective agency, and it's the first outing of the disguises (in their very early and imperfect forms! I like to think Charles has been experimenting over the years and the ones we've seen in show are just like, the latest versions!). It can really only be called case fic by the barest technicality but it's the best I got xD There's some nebulous Edwin gender-feelings, I'll leave it up to your personal preferences/interpretation whether it's a bit of transfem/nonbinary/genderqueer joy or just a boy's formative experience with drag, this baby can fit so much gender!! And references to fictionalised alcohol abuse, gambling and infidelity, but it's all just banter and tall tales, really. 2k, T-rated, also available on Ao3. Thanks again, @painlandweek!

"Perhaps we ought to rethink this strategy," Edwin muttered, fussing with his skirts.

"Relax, it'll be fine," said Charles. "No one's gonna suspect anything."

"They may suspect something," said Edwin. His voice sounded different, but the tone was one Charles had heard a thousand times before — pessimistic and haughty. Edwin seemed to pick up extra helpings of poshness when he was rattled. "They needn’t ascertain the exact nature of our ruse to know we're playing one."

"What? You think they're gonna be expecting someone to go in for fake marriage counselling?" Charles laughed.

"Stranger things have happened, Charles." Edwin spread his hand and swept it, gesturing between them and their magical disguises. "Q.E.D."

Charles looked at him blankly.

"Quod erat demonstrandum."

"Mate. They haven't taught Latin in that school for donkey's years."

Edwin made a noise of frustration — it had a bit of a high pitched, trilling quality with his fancy new vocal chords. "What I mean to say is that you and I are — figuratively speaking — living proof that real life is stranger than fiction."

"Well, yeah. But only to people who know ghosts exist," Charles reasoned. "And if this lady knew that, our client wouldn't've needed to come to us, would she? She'd've haunted the information out of her already."

Edwin exhaled, a quick, nasal huff like a bull, and pinched the bridge of his nose. His fingers bumped the chunky plastic frames of his enchanted glasses. "Pity. If she could see us, there'd be no need of these ridiculous costumes."

"I think we look brills," Charles beamed, proudly straightening out his big red rain mac. Sure, the disguises weren't perfect — he was still getting the hang of tweaking the enchantment. And yeah, he'd ballsed up his own bald spot at first, made it too big and just a little bit sort of... Australia-shaped. But all in all, he thought they looked mint! No one was gonna suspect them of anything, couple of old geezers. Who'd think they were a crack detective team?

Edwin was obviously having a harder time settling into character. He kept on faffing about with his unfamiliar layers of flowy clothing. Kept tugging on his little blue cashmere scarf, changing his mind on the drape of it — getting thrown whenever a tug of the fabric dislodged the waves of hair on his shoulders. Charles really hadn't got the hang of hair, just yet. He'd been aiming for something a bit classic and classy for Edwin, something honey-blonde and neatly coiffed. Instead he'd ended up with straw-like, brittle strands of peroxide white with... maybe just a hint of green. Charles would have to get that sorted out sharpish before they brought these disguises out again. Edwin would never let himself walk around looking less than his best if he had any say in it!

Charles turned to him, properly, grabbing Edwin's restless hands away from his scarf. "Eds. You look fine. Nice, even! Leave it."

Edwin glared at him, brow wrinkled. If Charles was being honest, the weirdest thing about seeing Edwin like this wasn't the fact that he looked blonder or older or, well. Like a woman. No, weirdest thing by far was how much thinner his eyebrows were. Charles had probably made them a bit too thin, he'd have to fix that, too. They were decent eyebrows! Visible, at least. But they were skinny and pale and neatly plucked, no little dusty dark hairs in between. Charles sort of missed them. He'd gotten used to those thick, dark brows scrunching up at him like grumpy caterpillars when Edwin was ticked off about something.

"It hardly matters if I look nice, Charles," he said, with a little belligerent flick of his hair that sent it flying. Charles probably should've made him a hairband or something — all long and loose, Edwin couldn't seem to get his hair off his mind. "But I do need to look convincing."

"You do! It's a good disguise, mate — made it special, didn't I?"

"I never said it wasn't." Edwin sighed, eyes fluttering closed a moment. Charles winced — maybe he'd overdone it a bit with the eyeshadow. There was a bit of colour-clashing going on, but hey-ho. Sort that in the next edit, too. "I am not concerned with the quality of the work, Charles."

"What is it, then?" asked Charles, dropping Edwin's hands to squeeze his shoulders instead. "What's got you all het up?"

Edwin shifted on his feet. His high heels clicked on the concrete porch. "I am merely concerned that I'm not... wearing it well," he said, a little bit through his teeth. "I don't want to compromise the entire investigation because I'm unable to act in a... befitting manner."

"Well, you're not gonna. Mate, you're doing brills." Charles smoothed down the big, floppy collar on Edwin's trenchcoat — he tried to do a Casablanca thing, but he might've gone a bit overboard — and grinned at him. "You're a natural. The way you stand all straight and that. Christ, you could've been walking in them heels for years! You're smashing it. For reals."

Edwin ducked his head, with the smallest smile. It was so Edwin that Charles could almost see the shape of him through the disguise; high, sharp bones under those rouged apple cheeks. Could almost spy that little spot on his chin. Actually, the chin wasn't a million miles off Edwin's own, with that barely noticeable little dimple in the middle. Maybe Charles had been taking some inspiration, subconsciously.

"I don't come across... peculiar?" asked Edwin.

"No. 'Course not." Charles sighed and patted his shoulders. "But look. If it's too weird for you, I can be the girl."

Edwin's brow twitched.

Alright. So maybe Charles could've worded that better. He coughed and took a step back, shoving hands in his pockets. "I mean, y'know. Bet I can manage it. How hard can it be? Probably won't be as like, chic as you, but I could give it a go."

Edwin pursed his lips, looking off to the side. He was fiddling with the rings on his fingers — maybe Charles had overdone them too, a bit.

"It... doesn't feel strange," said Edwin, quiet as a mouse. He couldn't seem to look Charles in the eyes. "It doesn't feel strange at all."

Charles smiled, all warm in the chest. Edwin had been a closed-off, buttoned-up sort of chap as long as Charles had known him — seven years and counting. Every time he offered up something of himself, Charles wanted to cup it in his hands.

"Oi," he said, gently, waiting for Edwin to look at him. "Suits you, mate."

Edwin smiled again, a barely-there twitch of his tinted lips. But he gathered himself quickly, clearing his throat and adjusting his scarf. "Well. We'd best be be getting on. We're due for our 'appointment' any minute now."

"Right."

"Shall we walk through the plan once more?"

"Go in, introduce ourselves, spin a backstory for a bit, make her think we're legit," said Charles. "Angle for a bit of one-on-one time. I keep talking, see if I can get her to slip up, drop us a hint — while you sneak off, search the office."

"Spot on," said Edwin, with a brisk nod. "According to our client, this woman writes down everything. No doubt she stores her more sensitive journals somewhere apart from the rest, somewhere discreet. Find the journals..."

"Find the body," Charles agreed, tilting his head side to side to crack his neck. "She'll have written down what she did with it for sure."

"Precisely. Right. That's the aim." Edwin steepled his fingers. "And we are...?"

"Edie and Colin Cromley," Charles replied, automatic. He should bloody well hope he knew that one — he'd had to put up with Edwin calling him Colin all night, trying to get him into character.

"Correct. And we are here because of discord in our marriage, resulting in my alcohol dependence and your extramarital affair."

Charles frowned. "Right..."

Edwin cocked his head a little. "Is there a problem?"

"You, uh. You ever actually been drunk before, mate?"

"Not as such, no," said Edwin, primly. "But, as we've quite thoroughly ascertained, I've never been a woman before, either."

Charles snorted. "Yeah, yeah. Fair point."

Edwin's manicured finger hovered over the doorbell. "Right. Are we quite ready?"

"Yeah," Charles mumbled, fidgeting on his feet. "Yeah, s'pose."

Slowly, Edwin lowered his hand. "Charles. We must be on the same page if we're to go inside and sell a convincing fiction."

"Just... feels a bit weird, is all."

"Why? You've always enjoyed undercover work in the past."

Charles shrugged. "Just... feels off. I wouldn't do that to you, y'know? Cheat, I mean. If we were married."

Edwin stared at him. "But we're... not married."

"Yeah, obviously." Charles felt all hot in the face, embarrassed. He should've just kept his big mouth shut. "Just saying, like — I wouldn't mess around on you like that. Or anyone," he added, quickly, because he was making things weird again, fuck's sake —

"Charles," said Edwin, amused. "Are you having ethical qualms about the character you're playing in this scenario?"

And alright, yeah. It sounded bloody ridiculous when you put it like that. Charles huffed out a laugh. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Just — it's hard, yeah? Dunno how I'd even pretend I'd screw you around like that."

Edwin hummed, toying thoughtfully with the dangly end of his scarf. "Perhaps... I could play the unfaithful partner?"

"You want to?"

"... No. No, not particularly." He pressed his fists together. "Hm. Perhaps infidelity is the wrong narrative for Mr. and Mrs. Cromley."

"Not believable, is it?"

Edwin chuckled. "No. No, I suppose not. Hm. Back to the drawing board..."

Charles mulled it over, tugging on his earlobe. "How about... right, okay, how about, yeah, if I have a secret gambling problem?"

"That does feel more authentic — we've had plenty of words about your impulsive decision-making," Edwin teased. He nodded, eyes sharp as he formulated the new story in that big brain of his. "Very well, a gambling problem is it. You've been losing money at the races —"

"Reckon I'm more of a footie bloke. Big bets on the big games."

"You've been losing money at various sporting events," Edwin corrected, rolling his eyes. "And the extent of your debt has recently come to my attention."

"You should see how much I lost on the cricket world cup," said Charles, seriously.

"Oh, believe you me, I did. Hence, marriage counselling."

"And boozing."

"Indeed. I knew the problem needed addressing a month ago," said Edwin, fingers gesticulating as he spun his little yarn. "When I visited our local public house for a consolatory tipple and became positively sozzled on sherry."

Charles chuckled. "Sure you wanna go with sherry?"

"Is it not appropriate?"

"I mean. It's fine," said Charles, raising his hands. "Nothing wrong with it! Just doesn't sound like your usual sort of, uh, blackout drunk sort of booze. Never heard of anyone going on a sherry bender."

"Well, what would be your suggestion?" Edwin challenged.

Charles wasn't actually sure, come to think of it. What did middle-aged classy ladies drink to get sloshed? "Um... well. Me and the lads used to get pissed on White Lightning after school."

"Very well, then. I overindulged on White Lightning. Happy?"

"Aces."

"Right. Well, now that's all straightened out..." Edwin lifted his finger to the bell again. "Shall we?"

"Go for it."

Edwin rang the bell — and when he dropped his hand, Charles picked it up. Edwin looked at him, quizzical.

"What?" said Charles. "Meant to be a couple, in't we?"

"One in the throes of marital strife," said Edwin, a little smile on his lips. "I doubt we'll be expected to be affectionate."

"Right. 'Course not," Charles agreed — but he didn't let go.

Edwin chuckled, and stayed put. His hand felt small, smaller than it ever had the few times Charles had held it — usually when he was hauling Edwin out of harm's way. Small and bony, lined with soft wrinkles, dotted in sun spots. Couldn't be much further from Edwin's long, lean, smooth hands if it tried.

But it fit in Charles' hand just the same.

~~

Hope you liked it! Probs won't be one tomorrow unless I can whip up something suuuuper short/quick or I find an existing WIP to polish off, but there'll defo be fic on Sunday! Thank you so much for all your love and comments I seriously appreciate them beyond words 💛💛💛💛💛💛

[pullthehilt]

carrot at the end of a stick

Desc.: meet cute… but is it really

Characters: IMPLIDED RELATIONSHIP Jade Leech, Floyd Leech, Azul Ashengrotto

Reader: not explicitly yuu

t/w: implied non-descriptive cannibalism

why is it all in bullet points? idk :> one day i will flesh this idea out, but i just really wanted to get this out before my dreams for the next few days is just this lol.

"And… let's talk about your love life."

It was a quiet afternoon on the pier; a summer buzz blanketing the residences of the shore as the rumble of the rollercoaster in the distance groaned. One such man had taken shelter from the sweltering heat in the cloth-covered stall of the fortune teller.

The guy in front of him was… shady to say the least; the man was in a pressed suit in the middle of summer, gloves and jacket and all.

He was sceptical, but he was also incredibly bored. So, agreeing, he splayed his hand palm-side up.

He peered over his glasses frame. "It'll be extra for that."

Tsk.

"Aha, dear customer. It seems you'll be having an encounter that'll change your life very, very, soon."

“A man, oh it kinda looks more like a woman-- well the encounter will definitely be with a person. Hmm, well it seems to be on the shoreline. Perhaps heading north-- in the evening…” blah blah blah

Well he's killing time at least and it’s not the worst place to be rotting his summer away in.

Exiting the tent he revels in the sticky, salty air and heads down the steps towards the shoreline.

He'd like to dip his toes in the water, kill the heat some more.

And then he sees them.

He sees you.

You're certainly a sight for sore eyes. Flushed from the sun, digging your feet in the sand. You sway gently with the waves, rhythmically matching the seas tune. The sun behind you douses you in liquid gold. It's like your clothing is just artistically draped onto you, white silk against your skin. There are shells piled into your arms, cradled as you continue to collect, bend and gently poke into the ground.

He's a long ways from you but it's like the world around him silences-- enraptured. He can no longer hear the sound of mechanical enjoyment, the rollercoasters and man-ran stalls. No sounds of children crying or couples bickering. Just the sounds of the waves accenting you.

And you're getting further and further away, shyly toeing towards the half-submerged tide pools.

He has half a mind to not bother you. It's a bit weird to trail after you, isn't it? You hadn't even noticed him as you were minding your own business.

But the words come back to him, the same way the water laps at his shoes.

"An encounter…"

At first he's only walking towards where you've disappeared over the horizon. The leisurely pace he treads, a product of hyping himself up for conversing with you, if you're still in the area. But then he hears a short yell and his heart staccatos.

Chasing after you is easy, sand being flicked up with every gallop towards your direction.

There's butterflies in his stomach from how your voice was carried in the wind-- is that what you sounded like when you were hurt? Or was it a yelp of surprise? Even scared, you sound so...

He scolds himself for even thinking of the other sounds you'd make.

When he reaches you, you're drenched and sat on a sloped rock.

The tide pool itself is shaped like a crescent, the open mouth leading directly to the sea-- and the waves are really working up a storm, as the tide has gotten inches higher from where it was just a few hours ago. At the centre of the crescent shape from where you're sat is a small rock pathway.

Your face is contorted, eyebrows furrowed and mouth pressed to a thin line. Slumped over your leg, you clutch at the leaking wound at the side of your shin.

"Oh god, are you alright?" He calls out to you, body leaning in your direction. It's cute how you jolt to attention, dishevelled.

At first it looks like you're analysing him, and so he tries, "I'm not here to harm you." Palms facing up, showing that he had nothing of a potential threat on his person. "I… I just heard a shout-- a scream. I thought someone needed help and you…"

"I scraped my leg… But… Uh, I'll be alright."

Your voice is light, fluffy even. He soaks it into his system like a sponge and wishes you'd talk more-- god he'd do anything to make you talk more--

"Do you need help?" Dumbass, he thinks to himself, of course you need help. He'd reprimand himself further if his mind hadn't frozen at the way your lips curved to a smile.

"It'd be nice if you could help me," calling out to him you kind of beckon him with your hand. "Come. Come help me." Stumbling to the edge, he prepares to step.

"What's your name?" He's afraid of coming off a bit too strong, but he needs to know. He can feel the water seeping into the canvas of his sneakers, pooling at his toes, but he only steps closer with one foot on the first stone of the pathways towards you.

The shape of your name casts into your lips, but the waves at the moment steal your voice. What? What did you say? He can't hear you, and he says so.

Carefully, he commits his weight to the first stone before moving to the next.

It's a short way to you, but he's slow to make his way as the water spits and crashes against the pathway. Torn between you and the stone he’s stood on, his eyes flicker between the two. Your hand is still stretched, as still as a marble statue. Waiting for him. A heat filters to pool in his ears the closer he gets to you. There's a flicker of hope tickling his spine as he imagines the words he'd say when he gets you off this rock-- he'd ask further if you were alright and if maybe you wanted him to accompany you to the lifeguard's tower to get you patched up. You'd say yes and then he'd follow up with shy conversation leading to the eventual exchanging of numbers. Then he'd for sure ask you on a date, maybe visit the small restaurant overlooking the cliffside a short walk away. Circle back to the pier, win you a couple of prizes from the vendors there… Visit the fortune teller and give him an extra tip.

He's so close to you now. Balancing on the next rock is hard, and he focuses to where his foot nearly slips. It would be terrible to embarrass himself by falling into the water-- troublesome too from how his shoes would be waterlogged and maybe tangled in the seaweed he could see dancing below.

The next stone is even smaller and he gets why you could've slipped here because, he's swinging his arms to regain his balance. But he sees your hand just in front of him and he clasps his to yours, fingers tightening.

Your smile is so bright, stretching to your eyes as your cheeks squish and mould into something Cheshire like.

He winces, your grip firm.

"Thank you." And he's tumbling as you yank sideways.

Water fills his lungs, salt attacking his tastebuds and stinging his eyes.

No one hears you when you're drowning, especially in the sea. The water crashing against the rocks is already loud in itself, and the fact that you have to fight between sputtering out water and kicking your legs to stay afloat and shouting is a battle in itself.

He screams to you, help him god-damn it. Fucking wench, why did you do that-- he'll actually drown at this rate. You're a bastard for tricking him like that-- a whore.

But your eyes are vacant and unfocused. You don’t see him, but you’re looking at his direction.

And then he feels something squeezing his leg. He's kicking harder now, has the thought to untangle the kelp or something he probably accidentally tangled into—

When he looks down, he doesn't see a clump of black wrung around him. Instead, there is a pair of half-moon eyes peering from beyond the water, coloured a sandy brown and warning sign yellow.

-

The water starts to turn a beautiful pink reminiscent to the colour of the coral and anemones dotting around your home. He, the man, is quick to have been pulled under with a trail of bubbles popping to the surface; at first it stays in once place, before the shape of him thrusts forward-- he rushes through the water like a bullet, tearing to circle the rock you sit upon.

 A warm sensation spreads across your stinging wound. When you look down there are a set of eyes fluttering back at you.

"Jade, stop that..." His tongue slips back into his mouth.

He parts from your calf, propping his head by your thigh, smiling. Floyd surfaces for a minute, eyes peeking back at the two of you. There's little disturbance as he moves almost jerking back and forth before his head fully floats above the water with a satisfied sigh.

"Was that all of him?"

"Dunno,” he burps out. “Definitely not all of him though.”

“Can you check?”

“Will I get a prize for doing it?” Glaring, you flick droplets at him with your free foot. He splashes back, waving an arm at you.

Clasping the foot, Jade cradles it to his chest. "Then… what part did you eat?"

"Dunno. An arm?”

“Floyd.”

“Hmph.” He dives back down, body folding to flicker into the deeper waters. After a moment, he resurfaces carrying something by the way he sways a bit more unevenly. “It was an arm.”

[cirilla-fiona-riannon]

Galileo Galilei Main Story

Translations may not always capture the exact nuances or tone of the original text. Expect grammatical errors and inaccuracies.

Spoilers ahead. Not proofread.

His eyelids slowly opened, revealing his amethyst eyes.

His gaze wandered for a while, then he tilted his head and looked at me.

Galileo: "You..."

Mitsuki: "You've regained consciousness! Thank goodness, I'm so glad."

Tears flowed endlessly, wetting Galileo's fingers resting on my cheek.

He moved his fingers awkwardly to try to wipe my tears.

Galileo: "You've been by my side all this time?"

I nodded repeatedly, and he lowered his eyes.

Galileo: "I had a dream."

Mitsuki: "A dream?"

Galileo: "A very happy dream. I was with my family and friends."

Galileo: "But for some reason, I felt like I was forgetting something."

Galileo: "Then your voice woke me up."

(My voice?)

He looked at me again and gently narrowed his eyes.

Then,

Galileo: "Thank you, Mitsuki."

His smile was endlessly kind, without a hint of any shadow or doubt.

After regaining his composure, he sat up and looked outside the window, squinting against the light.

Galileo: "The progenitor within me has vanished, hasn't it?"

Mitsuki: "Yes, thanks to you risking your life."

Drake's knife had even obliterated the progenitor's soul.

Galileo himself was severely weakened and had been in a coma until now.

(It's going to be okay now, right?)

Mitsuki: "It'll take some time for your body to recover, but I'm sure you'll be back to your old self soon."

Galileo: "No, my body probably won't last long."

(What?)

His words made my mind go blank.

Galileo: "I know myself better than anyone. This body is no longer the same as it used to be."

Galileo: "The body that was seized by the progenitor and corrupted by miasma likely won't return to its original state. It will probably decay soon."

(That can't be.)

Galileo: "It might be a punishment for the foolish dhampir who desired the destruction of this world."

He looked at his own hand and spoke with extreme calmness.

He seemed to have accepted his fate.

Mitsuki: "You don't know that yet."

Galileo: "........"

Mitsuki: "It's too early to give up! I don't want to give up on your life."

All I could do was speak hopeful words without any basis, and my voice trembled.

He sighed softly.

Galileo: "You were like that back then too."

Mitsuki: "Back then?"

Galileo: "When my body was taken over by the progenitor."

------------Flashback-----------

Mitsuki: "No matter how powerless I am, even if I have to face the world alone, I will protect him!"

---------Flashback Ends--------

Galileo: "You didn't give up and kept calling out to me."

(He remembered.)

Galileo: "The me that should have disappeared back then was moved by your voice, and now I'm alive."

I could sense that he was trying to face me sincerely.

Galileo: "You always shake me with your straightforward words and eyes seeking the truth."

Galileo: "I was frustrated with you for that. Moreover, I blamed you for my own past powerlessness."

Galileo: "I was probably afraid that you would see through the truth I was avoiding."

The truth he had been averting his eyes from was surely the powerlessness that tormented him, and perhaps his former self that purely wished for peace.

(He had to discard those unnecessary feelings to rush towards destruction.)

Galileo: "But you were not powerless."

His voice held a faint strength.

Galileo: "Unlike me, who despaired in my powerlessness and clung to strength to end everything, you continued to reach out to people, and you even saved me."

Galileo: "Even when you fell into sadness, you didn't give up and found a star called hope. That's the real you."

His gentle smile made my heart flutter.

(That's how he saw me.)

All the various events that had happened between us flashed through my mind.

There were many painful and sad moments, but it felt like all of them were connected to this moment.

(To understand you and come to this understanding.)

As my emotions welled up, I took his cold hand and placed a paper crane I had found in a drawer on it.

Galileo: "This is..."

Galileo: "You found it."

Mitsuki: "Yes. I became who I am now thanks to you."

(Because you saved my life and taught me the courage to help others.)

Mitsuki: "Galileo, please let me say this again."

Mitsuki: "I love you."

Galileo: "........."

Mitsuki: "I know I've hurt your heart many times, and I'm not asking you to feel the same way, but please allow me to stay by your side."

The wind whispered through the trees outside the window, enhancing our silence.

He eventually spoke up.

Galileo: "I don't know how long my body will last, so I might just waste your time."

Galileo: "Even so, do you still choose to stay by my side?"

His eyes, reflecting his heart, wavered slightly as he asked.

Mitsuki: "Yes. I want to be with you forever."

(Even if the day comes when your body withers away, I will support you so you can at least find happiness.)

I answered with all my heart, and he reached out and touched my cheek.

Galileo: "You always stir my heart."

Galileo: "Even when I lashed out at you, you still faced me head-on."

Galileo: "I couldn't ignore your existence anymore."

His voice, squeezed out, seemed to reveal his innermost feelings.

Galileo: "I didn't understand why I couldn't control myself, but now I've found the answer."

His eyes, always seeking the truth, reflected me.

Galileo: "Mitsuki, I can only call this feeling I have for you love."

(Love.)

Something warm surged from deep within my chest, making me unable to speak.

Still gazing into each other's eyes, Galileo's hand moved from my cheek to the back of my head.

He gently pulled me closer, and I leaned toward the bed.

As the distance between us disappeared, our lips gently met, and the midday moon witnessed our tender kiss.

Then, some time passed.

Mitsuki: "Wow, it's beautiful!"

After Galileo started feeling better, we went stargazing, just as we had done before.

Sidereus: "Woof! Woof!"

Mitsuki: "Hehe, Sidereus is in a good mood too."

Galileo: "Yeah. We can see the North Star very clearly tonight."

Following his gaze, I found a bright star near the Big Dipper and felt a sudden wave of nostalgia.

Mitsuki: "They say that travelers and sailors in the past used the North Star as their guide."

Mitsuki: "I wonder if Drake is looking at it somewhere in the world right now."

Since then, Drake has used the door to the hideout to embark on a journey.

A journey through time and space, beyond countries and eras.

(I don't know if he will ever come back, but...)

Maybe this is Drake's way of ending their journey.

Even though I understand that, I still sometimes feel lonely without him around.

Galileo: "I'm sure Drake is looking up at the stars right now."

Galileo: "Knowing him, he'd find a way to enjoy life no matter where he is."

Mitsuki: "That's true."

His voice was so certain that I could almost picture Drake looking up at the stars from his ship.

(Even if we're apart, we are all connected by this vast starry sky.)

As I smiled at that thought一

Galileo: "By the way..."

Galileo: "You're thinking about another man while stargazing with me."

Mitsuki: "What!? No, that's not it. I was thinking about the two of you!"

(Wait, does that mean...?)

Mitsuki: "Are you jealous?"

Galileo: "..........."

(Have I said too much again? But...)

Even under his sharp gaze, I couldn't stop the joy that was welling up inside me.

Galileo: "..........."

As I gazed at him with anticipation, his face drew closer.

Mitsuki: "Nn…"

Then he gently placed a kiss on my lips.

Galileo: "Your eyes should only reflect me."

Mitsuki: "----!"

In his amethyst-like eyes, I was the only one reflected.

Mitsuki: "You're the only one I had eyes for from the very beginning."

(Since the moment I met you in that garden, and ever since you saved my life.)

At my confession, he blinked slightly in surprise and smiled.

That night一

Mitsuki: "Nn... ah."

Upon returning to his room, he gently pushed me onto the bed and claimed my lips.

Galileo sat up momentarily and discarded his cloak.

Galileo: "If it gets too much, tell me."

Mitsuki: "I'm fine. But you—"

Galileo: "I'm not so weak that I can't hold you."

Galileo: "And if my life could end at any time, I want to feel you as much as possible while I can."

Mitsuki: "----!"

His eyes, filled with a burning desire, deeply moved me.

(Being loved feels so wonderful yet so heartbreaking.)

(I don't know how much time he has left.)

But for now, I just wanted to fulfill his wish, so I wrapped my arms around him.

Mitsuki: "Feel me. I'll give you all of me."

Galileo: "Let me love you."

He whispered in my ear, then leaned over me.

Galileo: "Haah, Mitsuki."

Our bare skin touched the sheets.

Every time his hand glided over my skin, the delicate movements increased the heat between us, making me gasp.

Galileo: "Such a sweet voice. It seems you're very sensitive."

(It feels like he's observing me.)

(Even though it's embarrassing, I don't want to hide.)

We laid everything bare, and eventually, we looked into each other's eyes.

Galileo: "I love you, Mitsuki."

Mitsuki: "I love you too."

Immediately after whispering our love, the heightened passion connected us.

His sweaty look and silver-white hair swaying made him look incredibly hot.

As our bodies melted into each other, he let out a pained sigh.

Galileo: "Haa..."

He leaned close to my neck, trying to keep something in.

(Could it be...?)

Mitsuki: "Is it the bloodlust?"

When I asked, he suddenly lifted his head.

Galileo: "I'm sorry. I once bit you against your will."

Galileo: "I'm sure it's a memory you'd rather erase."

(He was enduring it for my sake.)

Feeling touched by his thoughtfulness, I reached out to touch his cheek.

Mitsuki: "Tell me your true feelings."

After a moment of hesitation, he kissed my hand and whispered.

Galileo: "Mitsuki, I want you so badly."

Galileo: "Can I bite you?"

(.......)

Realizing that love could heighten the bloodlust just made me even happier.

Mitsuki: "Don't hold back; bite me."

Mitsuki: "Let me take in all of you, your love, and your fangs."

As I tilted my neck invitingly, a predatory light flashed in his eyes.

Mitsuki: "Nn... ahh..."

After a bit of pain, it turned into pure pleasure and bliss.

Galileo: "Ah, Mitsuki, I love you."

(I hope this heat and love will never fade away.)

Feeling his fangs, our hearts beating together, and the way we felt connected, I wanted this moment to go on forever.

After our deep exchange of emotions, we made a decision.

(We've said our goodbyes to everyone at the mansion.)

(Is this the end of our time here?)

Today, we were leaving this place.

We packed our belongings, and the last place we visited was一

Mitsuki: "Are you sure about this?"

Galileo: "Yeah. I should've done this sooner."

He looked out at the sunlit garden as if burning the image into his memory.

Then, quietly, he closed his eyes for a moment.

Galileo: "My brethren, for now, just rest in peace."

He released a lantern with a lit candle into the garden.

In an instant, the fire spread to the Blanc flowers, engulfing the pure white and crimson blooms in flames.

(Everything is burning away.)

As the petals ignited and ascended with the sparks of fire, my heart ached at the sight, and his embrace tightened around me.

Galileo: ".........."

The color of the flames flickered in his purple eyes.

(I wonder what he's thinking now.)

Is he regretting not being able to avenge the dhampir's grievances?

(But the dhampirs resting here will surely not blame him.)

I gently squeezed his hand as if to convey that.

(And he chose to do this to sever the sorrow rooted in this garden.)

To start walking again from here.

Galileo: "Let's go, Mitsuki."

Mitsuki: "Yes."

Turning our backs to the raging flames, I spoke to him beside me.

Mitsuki: "Galileo."

Galileo: "What is it?"

Mitsuki: "I’ll continue to search for a world where everyone, regardless of their race, can join hands and a future where you can truly smile."

(Even if the time left is short.)

(I want to continue seeking hope by your side.)

That is what I can do now, after meeting you and witnessing everything.

Galileo: "Mitsuki."

Galileo turned to face me, his eyes softening gently.

Galileo: "Thank you."

Galileo: "I love you. Your love is my truth, and you're my final star, named Hope."

Our intertwined destinies began through a door that transcends time.

Through miraculous encounters and many sorrows, what I have arrived at is the truth of my feelings for you.

Previous Part ╎ Masterlist ╎ Dramatic End

[eluxcastar]

Number 13 and 14 with Arlecchino

Arlecchino being comforted by her s/o

── ୨୧：arlecchino x reader

୨୧﹑synopsis :: arlecchino comfort drabbles yesyes

୨୧﹑genre :: sort of fluff

୨୧﹑content :: gn reader, possibly ooc because it was written pre fontaine quest, not very proofread, arlecchino is implied to have issues with self-image/perception

୨୧﹑words :: 2.2k

"I could see the worst parts of you and still think you are the most beautiful person I've met." "I'm going to ask you how you are and I would like you to answer me honestly."

IT'S HERE you guys always spoil me 13 is my favourite prompt and you are the first of two to request it. completely unrelated but this is so familiar to what Kae said a few days ago (months now omg 😭) when we were talking about One of Repetition and it fits those two so well 😭❤️

to the anon who requested furina it'll take me a minute to figure out how to write her because I haven't played the archon quest but I'll watch some cutscenes and do my best for you

I'll also be using this because I got it in the middle of writing this and thought it fit the idea I had going super well 🙏 that makes three Arlecchino requests with prompt 13 😭 also second anon you're fine dw you guys are free to do with your requests with these prompts as you like, mix them together, add extra descriptions and rambles it makes it more fun 👍 thank you btw 😭❤ feel free to give yourself a name for future requests if you want ❤️ I love having new anons

prompt list

It is not often that Arlecchino shows her doubt, maintaining that half-pleasant façade to hide it all. If all people see is a ruthless woman with no regard for loyalty, then the details don't matter. There's no need to question, no need to dwell. She is one thing and nothing more, and she much prefers for nobody to notice the hesitancy in her drastic decisions, the thin-veiled regret as she watches the children she witnessed grow up go on to become valiant children of the Tsaritsa.

If there is anything more, it is disregarded as her unpredictability. She is a roach in the eyes of others, and perhaps she's ok with that…mostly.

To hear someone say "I love you" is strange to her, though it shouldn't be by now.

It shouldn't be unusual to wake up tangled in the sheets with you by her side or the struggle it ends up being to leave that mess as you try to convince her to spend five more minutes with you. It shouldn't be odd to discover that you've gone ahead and made her tea in anticipation of the time she will wake up or to have you remind her every morning that you hung her coat up to dry after she dumped it over the back of a chair the night before or to see you wandering around going about your own job.

But those events all feel surreal to her, even though she has watched you walk your patrol path a thousand times now, and she has seen you slack off where she sits by the window of Zapolyarny when you think nobody is looking.

You are very real, there's no doubt about that.

The things you do never click with her, however.

Perhaps you are real, but she made up these fantasies after watching you loiter by that one spot in the garden a little too long.

Yet every evening, you meet her in her office after you're officially let off for the day, and you usually bring snacks. You are most definitely there, then, as she watches you struggle to get through the door without damaging whatever you found for her to try, usually only small, a pastry you managed to get that you absolutely mustn't knock from your hands.

"I tried to get something that wouldn't make a big mess all over your stuff," you usually say, sometimes hacking on a 6guilty little "But~ these just looked so good…" to try and excuse you for bringing something that would cover her desk in crumbs.

Arlecchino doesn't mind because you went to the trouble of getting her something.

She got you a special chair to pull up and everything, and anyone else who uses it can deal with the death glare they get or find a different one.

But perhaps she made that up too, conjuring the image of someone fumbling their way through her office door to greet her with a smile, sometimes with jam on your mouth from taste-testing the gifts that she'll point out to you that you hurriedly wipe on your sleeve and pretend it was never there.

Maybe she put that chair there for nothing, and it never really moves, and each time she thinks this, she is sure this fantasy will all disappear.

However, every evening, without fail, as the sun begins to set out the window and the room is dyed an orange hue, the door opens, and there you are again. Delusions can't possibly be that persistent, and you would've scowled at her when she approached you in the hallways if you weren't aware of this relationship.

So it must be real, which she's well and truly aware of. There must be a person out there who sees what she cannot, someone who, by some miracle, manages to see past the things that block out all of the good. How can a person see anything but someone unworthy of their love?

What else is there to see? 

The idea of a person who deserves to be loved beneath bloodshed has become unthinkable.

For a person who has been exposed to Arlecchino's worst sins, who has seen everything, and whose worst offence in life is a little laziness on the job, how is it possible to look at her and smile?

Arlecchino often wonders as she watches you. She how you go through your routine of placing your things down, whether on the desk or beside them, then all too happily mosey on off to get your chair and drag it over to sit across from her. She doesn't know why it's this particular day that she asks. Perhaps the fact it was weighing on her mind after a recent mission had her list of redeeming qualities shrinking further and further. It is in her job description, and there are plenty of worse people in this world.

But do you deserve to be stuck with one of them?

"Did you ever feel pressured into accepting my feelings for you?" Arlecchino asks the question so suddenly as you're halfway through walking back with your chair that she sees the exact point you register what she said, freezing in place from the shock. "Whether through status or power," she adds.

You blink a few times before all the motion in your world resumes to greet you with the image of her staring you down from the other side of her desk, patient and waiting for your response. "Sorry?" You let the chair go to return alone to her, standing in the place where you always put it. "I don't, uh…follow? I'm sorry, I just— I'm not sure what you mean?"

She hesitates, momentarily glancing down before her age returns to you and your uncharacteristic expression riddled with worry. She must've made you upset again.

"You want to be in this relationship? With me, that is…" Arlecchino struggles to think of the words, saying them as soon as they appear in her mind. "Even though you know the kind of person I am, you still want that?" 

She studies your face as carefully as she can, watching the way you react as you absorb everything you just heard and assumedly try to put a response together in your head. Arlecchino has noticed before how you take longer to speak than her sometimes, but it tends to make everything you say more thought out, though you may end it like you're unsure.

"Well, I mean…if I didn't, wouldn't I just—" you pause for only a second— "break up with you?" There's silence after you finish. She doesn't say or do anything. To Arlecchino, that strangely almost makes sense, but you must be far too bold to admit that to a Harbinger. "It's not that I want to! I'm a little--…well, I think I'm just a little bit confused where that's coming from."

"I was thinking about it." You frown when she admits that. "Some of the things you have seen of me are…" Is there even a word to encompass that? "unbecoming of a lover."

Is that the right way to phrase it?

Again, you pause, and the telltale signs of consideration cross your face. An intense focus that barely lasts, and Arlecchino waits through it all to allow you your chance to answer, intent on allowing you that much. A few seconds more, and your features relax, looking back at Arlecchino with a tender gaze. "There's not really one 'right way', is there?" Your question, though rhetorical, strikes a chord with the many impulsive responses that flood her mind, all of which she keeps to herself. "You just kind of...try your best. Things might work out, or maybe they don't— the point is that you mean well and put in the work."

"That's not enough," she argues, "you deserve better."

"I deserve what I want." Your rebuttal makes sense in theory, but what do you want? She struggles to make sense of that part, the answer muddled by all of her thoughts and lost in her doubts. 

You could ask anything of her, and she would do it. Any material possession, every feeling, more love than you know what to do with in any form you desire—physical, emotional, intimate—and yet you never do. You accept her awkward hugs, that it takes her time to relax when you lay your head on her chest, the fact she sometimes snores, that her clothes may very well be covered in bloodstains when she comes home depending on uncontrollable circumstances.

You never ask for the things she has plenty of power to give you in return for those flaws.

She shakes her head, "but surely you want more."

"I don't."

"There is a lot wrong that you deserve compensation for." 

Arlecchino clenches the pen in her hand tightly, feeling the slight distress of pressure around it. She can't articulate what, not in the way she understands it; flaws is too broad of a term to use. You would instantly know and understand what she meant in a perfect world, but the world is not so generous.

"Like what?" you question. You feel that it’s obvious that nothing Arlecchino will struggle to say will shake you. She opens her mouth, prepared to refute it, headstrong and frankly stubborn as ever, but nothing comes out.

There is silence for a moment, and no one rebuts what you say. Nobody can. The only other person in the room fights with herself to yield and give in to your unwavering loyalty. In your mind, she is everything you want. There is nothing else you can ask of her than to simply accept that you wish to remain with her if only she will allow you to through her own emotional turmoil.

"Are you listening to what I’m saying?" you ask, frown creeping back onto your face as it tugs the corner of your lips down, seemingly against your will, "I could see the worst parts of you and still think you are the most beautiful person I’ve met."

Another chord is struck, her heart beating so loud it thrums in her ears like suddenly becoming aware it’s been threatening to beat out of her chest the entire conversation. She breathes, shaky and caught up in her own surprise. Somehow, she didn’t expect you to be so sweet in your words or throw her off guard so abruptly. She finds it hard to believe them. Arlecchino’s worries haven’t disappeared, only dwindled. It helps, if not completely. There is a reprieve in listening to you.

You have seen the worst of her, every crease she hasn’t ironed out, her sometimes rotten personality, her stained clothes, the weapons she cleans in your home. You have seen her walk to greet you covered in blood and gore from a savage fight, kneel before you and hold your hand with the same hands she uses to kill vagrants and petty criminals, kiss your skin with those lips that spill the vilest of curses against her enemies.

Before she realises what she’s saying, she blurts out a question, "Do you really believe that?" 

It is quiet, reminiscent of how gently you looked at her earlier as her voice barely breaks a whisper, and she can’t bring herself to break eye contact with you once she finds the courage to make it.

"I do." 

You smile at her, hoping she will smile back. A faint smile graces Arlecchino’s lips, ever the handsome picture. Her sincerity is comforting after such a scare. You still worry, and perhaps you will never stop with the way her mind likes to trick her. How long had she thought you secretly looked at her with disgust this time? You fear you won’t have an answer again, though you desperately wish for one. As much as you notice her awkwardness, dismissing some of it and observing other parts with more scrutiny, it is hard to make her talk to you at times.

"Thank you." It is all Arlecchino can think to say in response as she forgets what else she was going to challenge you on. It will return eventually, and she will face it again, but for now, it settles. Arlecchino can reasonably bury her doubt for a time.

"Can we keep talking?" you ask. 

"About anything," she confirms with a nod.

You turn away, walking across the room in pursuit of retrieving your chair from its designated spot by the wall. You pull it along, dragging it over the floor, and set it down across from her on the other side of the desk you’ve been talking across. Your seat welcomes you as it always does as you settle into place, now comfortably at eye level with her.

"In that case," you begin, taking the pen she holds and wriggling it from her hands. She relinquishes it without much of a fight, allowing you to place it off to the side out of the way. "I’m going to ask you how you are, and I would like you to answer me honestly."

"Anything for you, my love."