#perfectly normal things

[brasskingfisher]

Hold the fuck up.

It's me. I'm the fuck up. Please hold me....

[redtalksaboutstuffandthings]

I very much do not regret whitelisting Tumblr for ads, because their attempts to figure out what I might click on have been about as amusing as the posts themselves.

"Hey! Would you like to buy some cheap products on Temu?"

"Would you like a personalized workout plan?"

"Would you like to know the location of all the 5G cell towers near you?"

"Would you like a personalized workout plan... in Polish?"

[gd-dollopole]

What gets me is that Arthur’s gesture is so delicate.

I know he wasn’t supposed to make any noise, but still. Arthur doesn’t press his hand on Merlin’s mouth, he just lays it there.

You can see that Arthur didn’t push his palm, and he also takes it off in the same gentle way, oh my god.

[lgbtlunaverse]

Full respect to mxtx and her apparent tall people kink but as much as I believe it's her right to make every single character a fucking tree, I strongly disagree with jiang cheng's canon height being 185cm. Than man should be 179cm exactly. Just barely shy of 180cm. I think even if you do not grow up with an inferiority complex topping out at this height legally requires you to develop it.

179 cm, incidentally, translates to 5'10.5" if my online sources are to be believed. Which, in a beautiful alliance of cross-measurement system solidarity, is also a perfect height to be deeply insecure about! If someone asks you how tall you are and you answer 5'10.5" you sound desperate. But if you round up to 5'11" you are technically lying about your height and any loose shixiong within ear shot may loudly call you out on it, making you look even more desperate. You can't win. Just like Jiang Cheng.

[elizabeth-mitchells]

six women walk into a wellness center... and the recovering addict gets accidentally killed by her best friend, who was trying to protect her from a suicidal young woman, who was trying to protect her cult leader, who got shot by a mean teenage girl, who was just trying to protect her murderous mom, who was being hunted by her high school soccer team, that included a senator that kills dogs and a lesbian with terminal cancer. and also elijah wood killed a cop

[jamethinks]

Since Yor and Loid both work very dangerous jobs they have picked a few quirks in relation to safety. Their ideas of what's a normal thought process are a bit warped. But because they're so close it never really strikes them as odd

-

*Twilight and Yor enter a new building*

Loid: There are approximately 15 exits to the exterior, including windows

Yor: 20 security workers. Some are posing as wait staff. No guns only tasers

Loid: No. The head one has a gun. Small discrete. It's probably a pistol. My best guess is that he's not supposed to have it.

Yor: right. I think that table in the north east is our safest bet.

Loid: I said the same thing. Best escape route. Can accommodate moving Anya with ease

Anya: I just wanted to meet bondman.

-

*Twilight showing Yor around a house they want to buy*

Loid: below the basement there's a secret cellar. There's also a tunnel that leads all the way to the garage at the back of the property so we can easily escape

Yor: that's nice but I am concerned about Anya. I don't want her to come down here and play and get stuck by accident.

Loid: yeah, I'm gonna have to work out the mechanics of it. Need it be discrete but also not easy for kids to play around with. Will take a minute

Yor: that's fine. But I do love having a cellar. Nice a spacious and soundproof.

Loid: you could kill someone down here and no one would know

Yor: exactly.

-

*Yor comes back from visiting Melinda's house and is discussing it with Loid*

Yor: the house is such a maze. If you wanted to break in you're gonna need a map

Loid: what's the security like

Yor: surprisingly light on the inside. You would be good once you're inside but getting inside is the real struggle.

Yor: I must say the landscaping is a great deception. You'd think it would be easy to break in and use the foliage as cover, but it's so noisy it would alert anyone.

Loid: *chuckles* those Desmonds really have a way with security huh

-

*watching a horror movie*

Yor, watching a man get chopped up: that's so anatomically incorrect

Loid: that's way to much blood for such a shallow cut

Yor: you only get that kind of spray for a jugular

Loid: There's no way they didn't get caught with all that stomping they've been doing

Loid: that's not how a silencer works

Yor: look at that bullet wound. That's way to big for the type of bullets they were using

Loid: The exit wound is the same size, too. Seriously, who directed this?

-

*Twilight about to teach Anya how to shoot a gun*

Yor: loid what the hell are you doing?

Loid: look ok she's needs to be able to defend herself against intruders. The stabbing and hand to hand combat rely on her being in close proximity. Guns are vest for long range

Yor:

Yor: fine. But we are not showing her how to use a shot gun. It's way to heavy. Trying a pistol.

Loid: No. Too small. It'll be harder for her to get a good shot in. Shot guns can be propped up so she won't have to carry it. Plus, they're way more socially acceptable to have in the house

Anya: Becky's probably playing dress up right now...

[fizpup]

valentine, you're a horse ❤️

[unicornpopcorn14]

Do you ever stop and think of how Chuuya's life before the PM was one of constant violence and brutality?

And how he might have been touch-averse early on in his life for how every touch he's known was vicious and barbaric?

Do you ever think about how this might be Chuuya's first experience of actual, gentle touch since he'd been picked up by the sheep??

Do you ever consider that the reason he looks so shocked aside from his ability getting swept away, is because this isn't a chokehold or a preparation to attack, but a mere hold?

Do you ever think about how No Longer Human might have taught him that gentle touch can be just as powerful as violent ones??

Oh, by the way,

Do you ever stop and consider that the reason Chuuya was reeling every time him and Dazai closed proximity isn't only because he doesn't stand Dazai but also because he absolutely hates the contact?

Do you ever think of how Dazai might have known how much Chuuya wasn't used to gentle touch and tormented him by doing shit like this just so he can see Chuuya's visceral reactions every time?

Do you ever imagine Chuuya trying to get used to gentle touch and even try to initiate some as payback?

And how he's come to appreciate and embrace it by doing so?

[somegrumpynerd]

Killer's nightmare

He has many, but the one he has most often is of coming out of stage 3 and finding he's killed his new family too alone again. Or maybe worse, that he'll never quite be without someone from his past.

Luckily, it is just a nightmare, and he has a different Nightmare he can see to help him calm down.

[respectthepetty]

Just thinking about Joke seeing Jack with Rose and instead of being jealous, since he has low self-esteem and thinks he is a burden with bad luck who is unlovable and stupid, he'll probably just be really sad about it and think Jack would be really happy with Rose because Rose could make Jack's dreams come true with her wealth and good luck since she is lovable and smart.

Then I start thinking about how he left Jack and Rose on the street last time because he thought they would be better together, but he promised he wouldn't leave Jack this time, so now he's sitting at the table, alone, waiting for Jack to come home, but Jack is too tired to sit and talk because he has been out shopping with Rose all day and looks so happy in all his new clothes in his new job while Joke looks so sad because he probably believes he could leave now and Jack would be fine with Rose because she is beautiful and great and he is bad luck and a burden.

But I want to hug him and tell him that Jack wore HIS color. Jack asked him to stay there. Jack made him promise to never leave. Jack loves him.

He always has.

And he always will.

So I'd rather have a jealous Joke who gets upset that Jack is looking at another person than sad Joke who thinks everyone is better off without him because the thought alone of Joke believing he isn't the absolute best boy in all the land already has me in my feels.

If this is how I'm acting just thinking about sad Joke, I won't be able to handle it if he is actually sad, so I'm begging this show to act like a pre-2022 BL and make Joke ridiculously jealous over nothing. Don't make my boy crumble into himself and start believing the voices in his head that sound a lot like his dad. Don't hurt me like that again.

[edwinisms]

i get such a sense of primal envy when looking at edwin’s clothes up close because god you can just tell his coat is real wool and made to last and not cheap flimsy mass produced garbage and auggagghhhh that was just STANDARD in his time. by no means am i saying i was #borninthewronggeneration because i like having vaccines and household appliances but. man. to have a personally-tailored coat like that that’d last for years and years……. and fabrics of fine thread-dense quality………. if only

[syoddeye]

you have shit luck. money's skint, and your car finally kicks the bucket. there's nothing in your area that looks remotely reliable and within your budget. you need transport for work. you lose it, you lose your job. desperate times call for desperate measures.

desperate measures lead you to a seized vehicle auction, where you buy a banged-up car on the cheap.

it's disgusting—reeks of tobacco, the console's sticky, and the glove box looks like something took up residence prior to the car's seizure. you don't know the history, neither do the police. it's sat in the secure car park for so long that they just want to be rid of it.

remember your shit luck? yeah. the scathing look on your normally absentee neighbor’s face and his furious gesturing to lower the window suggests you shouldn’t comply. but you do. he doesn’t hesitate to reach in, pop the lock, and yank the door open to haul you out. he clenches a lit cigar between his teeth, the tension in his jaw nearly crushing it.

what the fuck are you doing, driving his car? he reported it stolen just this morning, finding it missing when he got it in.

ah. maybe that's why it looked familiar.

[v-t-holmes-arts]

something something fear of being left behind something something

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

thinking about Eddie & hyacinths again

[the-crooked-library]

y’know like. I know that my brain fundamentally works a little different from most people but sometimes it just hits me out of the blue over the most innocuous things - e.g.: I’ve seen so many people get confused over Armand’s “picking lint off the sofa” line and I just don’t understand why. They’re googling when lint rollers were invented and acting as if he’s saying the most outlandish thing and “people don’t do that” - and like…

First of all, lint brushes precede lint rollers and he would be aware of them - and second, he is not picking lint off the sofa to tidy up?.. It’s a fidget. He’s sitting on the sofa bored out of his skull and trying to do something with his hands. He’s a fidgety person. We see him rubbing circles into his shoulder or leg (or Louis’ leg) during the interview, he taps his fingers, it’s just something he does; and Jesus Christ, did NONE of the people acting up their confusion ever peel cracking paint, or pull grass when sitting in outdoor gym, or dog ear a book - or, indeed, pick lint off a fucking sofa?..

[mmitwcomic]

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