#perfect timing in general honestly
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Don't you just love it when you've briefly stepped away from an obsession but then you get new content to do with it and it results in you going Absolutely Insane about it again?
#in other news season four of miss scarlet and the duke premiered#AND NOW THEY'RE ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT#NO THOUGHTS ONLY THEM#perfect timing for me to have finished that story i was working on really#perfect timing in general honestly#it was. a really good episode#several scenes/lines will be living rent free in my head#just. LUALJFLSKDJFLKJSDFLJKDSFLJ AUGH#i will NOT have nothing to think about at work tomorrow which is nice#but also OH BOY THE BRAINROT IS REAL#miss scarlet and the duke
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babe wake up i have 37 gold bars and a long fucking story,
#sadie knox#benny gecko#courier 6#fnv#dead money#fallout new vegas#fallout#my art#courier six#benny x courier#benny fnv#fnv benny#benny fallout#sadie/benny#Daniel's Outfit is my default for Sadie now sorry Stealth Suit#im obsessed bc it doesnt turn into an ugly dress#i just want sadie in a suit and PANTS please but a flannel and pants with grass stains on the ass will absoLUTELY do#h8 daniel ngl sorry to the 1 daniel lover out there (well i hate HH in general but thats another story) but his outfit is fkn cleaaaan#anyway what if benny's facial hair grew fast#he has to shave it every fuckn morning#those were my thoughts while drawing in a scruff instead of his 5 o'clock shadow lol#but YES his hair is perfect no bedhead i honestly dont think it moves#the product he uses eventually petrified his hair#/j my dumbass forgot to draw a bedhead#ill getcha next time gecko#me when im coming to fuck up your hair
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Sometimes I get hope for unraveled but then I remember how much of an ick I got from keefe when reading unlocked and get sad again
#I hate the way he talked to fitz#I didnt enjoy his pov at all honestly it seemed to just point out all his flaws without acknowledging that they were flaws#I mean maybe it would get addressed in unraveled idk#it did have good moments I won’t deny#but I don’t like how there was so much praise out of Sophie as if she were perfect#she’s not perfect and that’s okay#it feels like he’s putting an expectation on her#he also seemed really cocky at the part where he was going i fix everything#I know he’s flawed and I love him for it#but reading from his pov didn’t hit for me#some parts I did like was him wanting to focus if the small victories I think that was sweet#it’s not completely bad I’m just dramatic about the cliffhanger on stellarune#but yeahhh#though the way KEEFE talked about fitz pissed me off cuz at that moment fitz seemed to have every good intention#also the way he doesn’t hesitate to announce emotions pisses me off#ugh I have such a love hate relationship with him and THSI series in general#I feel like over time I seem the liek the writing less and less :(#I wanna be 10 picking it up at the library for the first time again#kotlc#keeper of the lost cities#anti keefe sencen
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I think that the 2010's media landscape of Buzzfeed articles about plotholes in disney movies, Cinemasins critiques, and Watchmojo Top Ten scenes in movies that make no sense has truely ruined a lot of media. People are afraid that their work will be torn down if they dare leave a single thing up in the air, if they dare ask their audience to suspend their disbelief.
All too often nowadays I see stories (especially fantasy), take the time to explain how every small aspect of the world works and how it all logically makes sense. The constant time stopped to explain why an event happened, how this object works, or why this is important to the characters. It's just really not needed and it honestly makes a lot of stories worse.
I am of the opinion that the best stories truly just drop you into their world and explain nothing. They just take you through the story of this world and you just have to accept it and continue on. "When he became king, the land became barren." I don't want the story to stop and explain why this is, or how it happened, I want us to move on so we can just assume that the king has such rancid vibes that everything died.
#simon says#i watched the Last Unicorn again recently and it fucking slaps#and I noticed a huge part of why it slapped is because it doesn't explain shit#same with a lot of other fantasy things from the 70's and 80's I've noticed#and even older stories all the way back to fairy tales and fables#they just tell you something and move on#and it works!#a lot of the time it feels far too hand-holdy or immersion breaking for the characters to stop and explain something for the audience#like these characters would not take the time to explain the aspects of their world in detail to other people who live in this world#this is clearly for the audience only and so that they can feel more satisfied with an answer#but it fucking sucks!!#it is bad writing!!#to presume your audience has no suspension of disbelief so you stop everything to explain how the world works for them alone is bad!#it makes the story feel awkward because it feels out of character for the people of the world to talk like that and it feels insulting tbh#like you really think the audience's ability to pick up details of the world from dialog and onscreen (or page) information is that poor??#and to some extent it is#lord knows we are having a serious media literacy and general literacy issue in the United States#but it's honestly just bad writing and it bugs me so much. my number 1 pet peeve in fantasy is overexplaining especially when it doesn't fit#like just fucking tell me that there's a magical world on the other side of this wall in a village and move on#i can just accept this fact#imagine if the Dark Crystal took the time to explain every aspect of the world#that movie is already jam packed with random story and world bits that you just have to accept and move on from#now imagine if they took a solid 2 minutes to explain what the fuck Fizzgig is.#i think leaving it at 'he's a friendly monster and Kira's friend!' is the perfect place to leave it at#we do not need a full explanation on Fizzgig's species and behavior and why he's friendly unlike other monsters#he's a friendly monster and he's Kira's friend! that's all we need to know! we got a dark crystal to put back together!!!
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so for like, a decade plus, i've been searching for a youtube video i remember seeing back in 2007, and i've finally managed to make some headway:
good news: i've found it
bad news: it's lost media
#it's been bugging me for so long honestly#ive talked about it in my tags before but its basically the video that introduced me to roblox#it's probably a bit silly to have been searching for this video. but part of the reason ive been looking is to see how good my memory is#specifically memories from when i was 9 years old. and how those memories have aged given im 26 now#like id say my memory is pretty good. specifically remembering specific details from memories long ago#like that isn't to say they're perfect. like i'll get some details wrong. but i know the general idea of what i saw#but basically#it's basically some old roblox bloopers video that had their character in a baseball cap and lugia t-shirt#now for a few years i wasn't sure i was correct on this person wearing a lugia t-shirt#and so at some point i figured i had to give up looking for that specific detail#since literally no video i could find had these two details combined. id find characters with baseball caps but never with a lugia t-shirt#and by that point i was afraid i wouldn't be able to find this video. or worse. my memory was wrong and it was something i watched in 2008#but i knew it had to be uploaded before december 12th. 2007. because thats when i made my account#and the way i found it was going through 11 pages of a youtube search for ''lego videos''#i was specifically looking for new lego videos to watch. or find something that seemed more interesting than lego mario stop motion#and there was one video that stood out. which was some random roblox bloopers video. mixed in with a bunch of random lego videos#anyway. just today i was scrolling through twitters ''for you'' tab and happened upon a thread showing off lost roblox youtube thumbnails#and i was like ''well. can't hurt to see if theres anything in here that i recognize.''#and lo and behold. a roblox dude in a blue baseball cap and a lugia t-shirt. labeled as ''ROBLOX Bloopers!''#i could feel the anvil of my doubt free itself from my brain because i finally had proof of a video that lines up with my memory#thats not to say this is the exact video but 99% certain it's uploaded by the same person. like it could be roblox bloopers part 2#but anyway. the channel and the video(s) are lost and while im sad i can't watch it to confirm my memory#im happy to see that there's evidence that lines up with my memory of what i saw back then#for reference. it was uploaded by someone named 'Furzniak' at the time. and it was uploaded on July 21st. 2007
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shin sounds just like kaido from saiki lmaaoo i love it
#i honestly forgot nobunaga shimazaki voiced him#but he was the first character of his i thought of when i heard shin#nagumo's voice is gonna take some time for me to get used to lmao#i love lu's voice so much omg but i love ayane sakura's voice in general + her energy as lu is just *chef's kiss*#it's too bad she'll mostly only be in the first cour 😔#i also loooove heisuke's voice !!#and ofc sugita sounding perfect as sakamoto
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hi guys please wish me luck for my college entrance exam tomorrow for one of my dream schools xoxo
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#LET'S GOOO MGA PAREH 💙🦅💙🦅💙🦅💙🦅#i'm so chill for some reason even if ik i will never forgive myself if i don't get in. anyway. manifesting!!! i will pass with flying colors#IT'S REAL DAMN STRESSFUL FOR ME bcs i am aiming for honors courses which means i have to be top 15%... i am top 15% (and higher) in my batch#in school anyway but... urgh...#so. yeah. give me all your best wishes thankyousomuchxoxo AHHEHEHWHSHFJAH sobbing (but fr. if you do. i really appreciate it!!)#i believe in myself :] mostly. the time limit scares me and math and abstract reasoning bcs 5 minutes for 30 items but yeah. okay.#i am Smart ..... bro i literally got perfect on my physics exam and got 100 in statistics (i am really proud of these in particular)#my extracurriculars are good !! all my math scores are insane (cue a math nerd) and science (science nerd) english (god. no explanation#needed) honestly every subject is slay and so is my essay-making but ERGH. honors course... top 15%...#i will try to be chill! honestly i am already lol the nerves aren't getting to me somehow. gl to me and all that i know and do not know.#both here and irl :3 also to fellow ph kids (who are most likely younger than me if they aren't older and yk not worrying abt cets anymore#LMFAO) err idk if . okay idk what i was going to say LMFAO anyway i'm busy af and idk if i'm good with teaching others#but if you ever want any tips from me (honestly i don't really have tips. i do what i do and just make it. but there's a lot involved there)#feel free to come to me for anything ^_^ anything at all tbh. doesn't have to be acads idk i like helping others in general. BUT IT DEPENDS.#but yeah just hmu whatever i will have you know i am genuinely a smart & responsible kid and i am proud of that bcs my family is amazing w#smarts but also the Hard Work is there so :3 !! english is my forte science is my forte math is my forte. also socsci and whatever tbh.#i'm probably insane but i genuinely love all those topics and what we learn in school FISHFK so yeah !!! okay i shut up now#will do my best... zzz... and then i will work on myself. to be better than i already am and even better than i could possibly be. ya. fun!#the mga pareh is a joke btw i like imitating filipino kids like that. like yooo mga pareh let's goooooo wahee!!!!!
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May or may not have filled out a request form to get a Stranger Things tattoo by a well-known artist in Pittsburgh when I go to Pittsburgh in like three weeks this morning...
#personal#Dude only opens his books one month ahead of time and ONLY a month in advance so perfect opportunity.#He has like 45k followers so there's a chance my request could get denied but it's whatever.#I just want a ST tat so bad!#Actually ANOTHER ST tat if you count my Eddie bats I already have LMAOOO#Honestly I just want another tattoo in general... It's gonna be a year since I last got one and believe me I'm feeling the NEED.#*It's gonna be a year soon
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literally such a tragedy what channel zero did to search and rescue woods youre telling me the author lost the publishing rights for THAT like im still so mad. we could have had a book. we could have had a book
#sorry i hate the third season of channel zero always have and im speaking my truth now HJKDLSJHFKD#okay like. channel zero in general. the first season is like#i wouldnt say its good. honestly it started okay and kinda intriguing#and then got kinda bad. and then at one point it flipped back around and became camp to me#so i kinda like the first season but through no credit of itself HJKHJKDS#and as an adaptation i thought it was like too confusing for people unfamiliar with the creepypasta but too uninterested in the details#of said creepypasta to appeal to fans of it. but it was a bit camp. a little bit#the second season was fine. it wasnt perfect but i thought it held up decently as a story and as an adaptation#i never got around to watching the fourth season. i hear it was fine#but that third season was WRETCHED i remember it being rated well as a story but it was so like. disrespectful as an adaptation#(also it was too focused on gore and blood for me at the time. like i dont mind gore but it felt so like. meaningless?)#(and i wasnt sure about its depiction of mental health at the time but maybe my opinion would change nowadays it has been a while)#like you got the rights to such a weird and surreal concept and ignored it entirely....what on earth#no baby crying loop in the middle of the wilderness alone....no stairs that cut off your arm cleaning in the woods...NOTHING#literally so tragic. @ nosleep authors and other online horror writers PLEASE watch out when giving out adaptation rights#if i remember correctly the poor search and rescue author got screwed over by syfy which is so sad 😔#also please publish some kind of paperback version of ur stories for lil ol me. pretty please#basic print on demand is fine id just love to have more creepypasta and nosleep stuff on my bookshelf LOL#also still sad theres no left right game book. blease it would be so good published BLEASE
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hi!! i just wanted to say that ive liked midoyuzu since i was like 14 and its been a few years since then (obviously) but seeing your midoyuzu art now is so!!! its so fulfilling to my past self who had like NO art to go off of, i guess? anyway! your art is super good and i love it so much <3
im glad omg? extremely late to the party but by god i am bringing snacks in here or die trying o7 was pretty baffled the first time finding out more abt their dynamic and looking them up on here to find maybe like two more recent posts and the rest from no sooner than 2017 or so askjdghsjkgdhjks but really THANK YOU!!!!!!!! happy to be of service to your inner 14yo somewhat ;v;
yknow what though the really funny thing is that i wasnt even that into them initially. just remembered that cute interaction at the end of xmas live and thought "huh these two r kinda sweet actually" and that curiosity is always a slippery slope into genuine investment and by god is tripping into it a favorite pastime of mine
#if i had to say tho honestly these two were both the last ones of their units i managed to get attached to properly#yuzuru has definitely become my fav of fine though but my actual rst fav is kanata LOL#also finding out yuzuru likes to draw in general is everything to me you go you funky master artist#cute critter line took me out back w a metal chair why r they so. auhhg#actually my good friend who got me in here Knows i was actually on track to becoming an ibyz liker but then. anvil fell comically on my hea#before i knew it theyve taken over almost every corner of my brain get them out!!!!! get them out!!!!!!!!#and i was already a ryuseitai fan and enjoyed fine casually but oh. oh god im a yuzurup too now arent i goddammit#SORRY THIS BECAME A RAMBLE UM. THANK YOU VERY MUCH!#asks#anonymous#sometimes i forget that their actual interactions probably amount to no more than 6 or 7 times in canon and the rest is just in my head#that and i just think its rather nice for both of their characters to get along!! romantic or platonic#really sweet to see midori so pumped up and passionate about the things he loves and yuzuru getting thrown off his rhythm of the always#perfect butler who resigns himself into the background most of the time. theyre just having fun!!! silly guys#and yuzuru rly does enjoy art and nonsensical doodles even if people generally find it horrifying midori loves them wholeheartedly its. yea#okay im still rambling. ill shut up now i havent slept properly in a bed in nearly 48 hours i should go do that
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@yeonban said: "are you in trouble?" shalnark half-shouts with the most obnoxious grin he can manage, relaxing on top of a boulder and idly kicking his feet. it's a tease of a question rather than one asked in earnest, as he's been watching kalluto fight their newest foes with no help from him - or any of the others - for quite some time now.
Fighting might be a bit of an overstatement. Kalluto knew how to kill quickly and efficiently. That was a key part of being an assassin of their types. They left slow poisonings to the unhappy spouses and vengeful friends. But a quick and clean kill was their art. Poison, blades, strangulation, anything and everything was forced to become an expertise from a young age. Certainly each Zoldyck had their preferences, their stylistic flairs, but there was nothing short of perfection allowed for any type of their training.
Kalluto had always held a bad habit towards torturing, like a cat playing with a bug whose wings it had ripped off. ( Except, in these cases, it was often limbs instead of wings - although there HAD been wings back with the Chimera ants. ) On the job he always was a professional. But off the job? Off the job, he liked to play.
Like now.
Kalluto turns to where Shalnark is perched with an irritating grin, annoyance concealed under a impassive expression, before he turns back towards the enemies. He supposes he HAS been playing long enough. Kalluto sighs once, letting a few more scraps of paper float into the air to surround the victims of his morbid entertainment. The pieces flutter until their pointed just under their jaw towards the carotid arteries, and then plunge into the skin in unison, sending a symphony of wails and blood spewing as the enemies all collapse at once. Kalluto knows well the death time it will take - only a matter of seconds with the severity of the wounds. Eight for the smallest, fifteen for the largest.
" Sorry. I got carried away. " Kalluto apologizes as he turns towards the others. His fan disappears back beneath the silk kimono. He does not linger on the thought of his enjoyment of his cat and bug game nor how that side has started to show up more. He also does not even think of how disappointed his family would be.
#yeonban#sadistic side comes out to play#honestly i think time with the troupe brings it out more and more#ofc he's always focused on efficiency#with time sensitive missions or missions and general#bc goal first enjoyment second#but if its just a casual thing#or crossing some ppl who wanna fight / kill#then he takes his time and has fun with it#always thinking abt him talking about#how its a bad habit of his to toy with things#not very zoldyck of you kalluto but ily for it#᛭ — [IC] with perfect grace you deal death [KALLUTO ZOLDYCK]#᛭ — [QUEUE] ghosts of the past and of the future
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when i was younger and hung out around my uncle a lot more than i do now, i remember whenever he referred to things regarding his native heritage, he always just called it "indian". called himself an indian, called the words he taught us indian, so on. since i was a little kid who didn't know any better, i didn't know that "indian" in the context of indigenous americans was a very broad, frankly bastardized term to paint a vast variety of cultures spanning two whole damn continents with one brush. it only occurred to me as i got much older than i was at the time that there'd be more than one "indian" language, and up until now since i had no idea what tribe(s) he even is i couldn't even begin to know where to look unless i found a download of every goddamn interlingual dictionary available and painstakingly checked every godddamn one for what their word for "thunder" is
the word he taught us meant thunder was hiloha. i didn't even know how to spell it until now, because he only ever said it aloud. literally just a few minutes ago, i decided to ask my grandma (his sister) if we knew what tribe(s) he belonged to. and apparently he's a mix of choctaw and makah. which gave me a lead, which led to me finding a dictionary on libgen, which led to me word searching "thunder" in the choctaw to english dictionary. it's the only word i remember him teaching us, and i'm unsure if he ever tried teaching us others. but it was his dogs name, and he was a damn good boy, so i remembered it clear as day. though, they normally shortened it to "hilo".
so, i guess what came out of this is that i now know a bit more about my uncle's heritage, and where to look for more research. so, if you're gonna have a takeaway from this, i'd appreciate it if you remembered the word "hiloha". it means thunder. and aside from being the name of a very good boy who deserves to be remembered, i think it's even more important to remember the histories, cultures, and of course the languages of all the indigenous folks who came before us and did their damndest to preserve their cultures in spite of it all.
#honestly a bit unsure if he was just simplifying it all down for us little idiot kids or not#regardless i think it's an important memory to keep alive#writing this up got me thinking about my time spent over at his place when i was real young. we spent a thanksgiving or two over there#both him and his wife were alcoholics at the time. she probably still is but she's been out of their lives for a while#i remember huddling in the corner with my cousin and my mom while they both fought. i distinctly remember her slapping him over the head#with a TV remote. not a very happy thanksgiving that one#it occurred to me while remembering this that there's definitely some kind of bitter irony to a white woman abusing a native man and his so#on thanksgiving. not even mentioning just a (mostly) native family having a bad thanksgiving in general. a bitter memory all around#god she was a cunt. talked shit about welfare queens and people on food stamps while me and my mom bought her food with our food stamps#claimed to be a vegetarian because how much she loved animals but still regularly ate bacon#i definitely don't remember my uncle being perfect in that relationship but i also definitely remember her being far worse#i'm almost certain it was mutual abuse but there's definitely a reason why my uncle's still in my cousin's life and mother isn't#aside from the fact that she did in fact abandon them and start a new family#as far as i know my uncle's recovered from his alcoholism and she hasn't. which itself wouldn't be a sin if she wasn't also naturally just#nasty piece of vaguely human looking garbage even without the alcohol#the way i understand it alcohol usually doesn't change who a person is at their core. it just amplifies who they already are#my grandpa's a very loving man and while i've never seen him get outright drunk i'm told he's very sweet and cuddly#saying this feels like a bit of a blanket statement but i definitely feel like for the most part if someone is an abusive piece of shit#while drunk they're also a lot more likely to be an abusive piece of shit sober#i've heard that some people are sweet and kind sober and turn nasty when drunk. i've never seen that firsthand but i'm sure it's entirely#possible. i can't speak whether it actually reveals who they really are or what. i'm not a psychologist#im rambling. oh well!#i'm glad that my cousin and uncle seem to be in a better place now. got their shit together#that's what matters
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Y'all want a Paper Mario-styled drawing of Micah Koopa? 💖✨⭐
#Star's Art#Micah Koopa#Super Mario#Paper Mario#Koopsona#Coolness#Remember how a mere two posts ago that I said I'd draw my koopsona in the actual Paper Mario style?#Well... SURPRISE!!!! 💖#I wanted to save this post for this Thursday at the earliest seeing that I've been posting a lot about this koopa lately#But after some thought I decided to just post it today because I REALLY want my sister Stephanie to see this#I am so proud of this piece that I just couldn't WAIT to show it to everyone!!#I actually had a draft of this drawing going around the time I first showed my koopsona off here#But I ended up finishing it in almost one sitting and a half because... truth be told...#It is RIDICULOUSLY fun to draw in Paper Mario's artstyle and I've yet again mastered a style on my first attempt XD#I was so certain that the shading style of the Paper Mario series (And the Mario franchise in general) would be a nightmare#But after realizing the trick used to pull it off I was able to finish this quite quickly!#I also heavily referenced TTYD's Koopa Troopa sprite sheet over on Spriter's Resource to draw this#Seeing as that game's sprites are assembled from pieces so there were plenty of assets to go off of#I wanted this to initially look more like that game's key art without the white outline and paper texture...#... but honestly I think it looks a whole lot more perfect leaning in toward how modern Paper Mario's style looks!#You can consider this the definitive reference for my koopsona because I doubt I can top this#... well... that is until I inevitably draw her again#To think a few days ago I couldn't draw Koopas and now I've completely MASTERED it with this piece!!!
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HI TUMBLR late footnote posting before i go to bed (i took a nap today........ ate up most of my time)
not a lot to talk about with footnotes today since i was Busy and my brain wasnt working pfndkmlfd i blame seven hours of modded oneblock
#haunted ecosystem#haunted bookshelf#i might make a tag for these footnote posts? i think its a fun way to document what ive written about without sharing All of it#also yes thats a random crack au that i've have in the back of my head for a bit what about it#i dont think its canon in the slightest its just a funny little thing in my head for writing random bs#honestly i might start trying to work on more wtds stuff. this is kind of a perfect excuse#also! i think how i might work this is that if i work on a larger project during the day then i'll just do the daily prompt#since its a good exercise and an excuse to keep some kind of writing streak going#i actually asked one of my partners for a prompt since i was struggling to find an interesting one#ended up with 'last man standing' for spoke... very fitting tbh#i might write a more canon take for that. the concept i wrote down was much more set in an au than anything since i was also thinking#about asomatous zam at the same time so i kind of just incorparated both of them into it with it being paracosm-era#OH did i ever mention that i have a general title plan for the other parts of that kind of. world#its very set in stone that if i do write more it'll be two more parts#metamorphosis (5 part) and paracosm (1 part with multiple scenes. functionally 3 part maybe?)#asomatous goes in the middle of that. i need to kind of plan all of them out better and see how it wants to flow#metamorphosis was started as a concept because i had a few bad things happen bingo prompts i wanted to be used for asomatous#but didnt end up using. so metamorphosis is my excuse for that. paracosm is just a Concept thats been really plaguing me basically since i#originally wrote asomatous... i should probably come up with a temporary series title. i think something about shattering skies?#its a reoccurring theme and symbol throughout all of them....... i just think its neat#ANYWAYS goodnight to you especially if you actually read through all my tags :)
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Romantic/dating anxiety is definitely a thing (to me). I just steed into the dating world for the first time last year at the ripe age of 26 and when I tell you I’ve been anxious every time I’ve matched with someone/received a message complimenting me before we can even have a conversation/agreed to a date… it’s intense to say the least but I believe in us!
Definitely definitely a thing, like I’ve managed to give myself a decent stomachache just by overthinking this since it happened.
I don’t know what to do lmao because I have 0 experience, and like I just texted my best friend about, I shoot down every person that ever asks for my number or shows interest in me but then I also literally am always like…. looking for someone to be interested in me, but also like as soon as I know for sure they’re interested I don’t want them to be, and also I think I just feel awkward if the person is younger than me, so like when one of my coworkers clearly had a crush on me but he was like 5 or 6 years younger than me so I felt that was weird, and then this guy I don’t even know how old he is either so like that feels fucking awkward to me because nobody ever thinks I am my age, which right now I’m 27 😭 and the other day a girl I work with thought I was 23, which is a compliment but also like I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone that much younger than me 😭😭
#asks#I definitely have social anxiety to some extent though#like literally even the idea of going and hanging out with my best friend half the time I want to cancel and we’ve known each other for#like 12 years by this point if not actually 13 years#and then there’s my friends I’ve actually made at work I always get nervous to hang out with them even tho I see them all the time at work#and I genuinely like them as people#but I don’t fucking know 😭😭 I don’t know what I want and I’ve tied myself into a ball of anxiety so I just want to go home and shower and#curl up in bed except that I also had kinda made plans with my mom to go to target today#ALSO though like if I do respond and if this guy does ask me out on a date this week would be a good time#because since I live at home and since my parents (specifically my mom) are kinda overprotective and since I’ve never been into dating I#feel like they’ll ask me a million questions if I mention a guy or going on a date with a guy#and they’re gonna be gone this week so if I was to go out it would be the perfect chance to go without having to answer questions#but honestly 😂😂 that makes me nervous too#I need to text him back because since he’s a regular and since I work regular hours he’s probably got a general idea of the hours I work#which is also mildly weird to me#I overthink everything btw#I’m stressed 😭😭
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Someone on a NaNoWriMo prep thread: if you’re trying to win NaNo for the first time my advice is to pick the simplest idea
Me: yep, that seems smart. I’ll do that
Also me: *walks away from my first brainstorming session needing to research the golden age of piracy, the composition of the UK in the mid 17th century, the British navy in the mid 17th century, and the overall concept of a time loop*
#i was doing nanoprep by the book. i was like okay; i can’t pick an idea and a lot of people have said it’s easier to finish nanowrimo with#a fresh idea rather than trying to resurrect an old novel idea#because if you have a brand new fresh idea you don’t have any preconceived notions of how it should turn out#whereas if you’re working on an idea you’ve had for a WHILE you’re already way too invested#and you’ll get bogged down in making sure everything is perfect (which is NOT going to happen in one month) and you’ll get frustrated#so i was like okay. brand new idea. so i did the idea generation prompt (which is just to write down a bunch of things you like/are#interested in) and i was like ‘wait. about 6 of my favourites can probably fit perfectly together here’#they were: pirates; ancestral curse; time loops; two timelines intersecting; gothic vibes#and a tragic/bittersweet love story#so i was like okay. i can definitely do something with this#it’s not Entirely new if i have to be totally honest… i’ve been thinking about writing a pirate novel for years. but i never had a plotline#but now i have Something. i’m also using a couple of characters i’ve had for a while but honestly i wasn’t doing anything else#with august and henry. and all the other characters will be entirely new#we’re having a timeline in the 1650s and a timeline in 1905 and that’s about as much as i know right now#i’m fully expecting to open my notebook tomorrow and say ‘what the fuck’ because i’m sleep deprived and sad today so my ideas probably#aren’t half as good as i think they are. but right now i think they’re great so that’s enough for me#personal
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