#but that third season was WRETCHED i remember it being rated well as a story but it was so like. disrespectful as an adaptation
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literally such a tragedy what channel zero did to search and rescue woods youre telling me the author lost the publishing rights for THAT like im still so mad. we could have had a book. we could have had a book
#sorry i hate the third season of channel zero always have and im speaking my truth now HJKDLSJHFKD#okay like. channel zero in general. the first season is like#i wouldnt say its good. honestly it started okay and kinda intriguing#and then got kinda bad. and then at one point it flipped back around and became camp to me#so i kinda like the first season but through no credit of itself HJKHJKDS#and as an adaptation i thought it was like too confusing for people unfamiliar with the creepypasta but too uninterested in the details#of said creepypasta to appeal to fans of it. but it was a bit camp. a little bit#the second season was fine. it wasnt perfect but i thought it held up decently as a story and as an adaptation#i never got around to watching the fourth season. i hear it was fine#but that third season was WRETCHED i remember it being rated well as a story but it was so like. disrespectful as an adaptation#(also it was too focused on gore and blood for me at the time. like i dont mind gore but it felt so like. meaningless?)#(and i wasnt sure about its depiction of mental health at the time but maybe my opinion would change nowadays it has been a while)#like you got the rights to such a weird and surreal concept and ignored it entirely....what on earth#no baby crying loop in the middle of the wilderness alone....no stairs that cut off your arm cleaning in the woods...NOTHING#literally so tragic. @ nosleep authors and other online horror writers PLEASE watch out when giving out adaptation rights#if i remember correctly the poor search and rescue author got screwed over by syfy which is so sad 😔#also please publish some kind of paperback version of ur stories for lil ol me. pretty please#basic print on demand is fine id just love to have more creepypasta and nosleep stuff on my bookshelf LOL#also still sad theres no left right game book. blease it would be so good published BLEASE
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I have some Hot Takes about some Icy Floes. And also chapter 83, I guess.
But before I get to the ice floes, I’m going to work my way back through this chapter.
I find it interesting that Phos seems to balk at the idea of being repaired. On the one hand, you can read it simply as them being too impatient in their current state to wait for repairs, but on the other hand, insofar as Phos’s augmentations represent something about their state of mind, it makes sense that their body is going to be fractured for as long as their mind is broken. A new body part signals moving on, and Phos is in no state to do that. Thus, we may be looking at gremlin-Phos for a while. Or maybe I’m getting ahead of myself and next chapter will see the Lunarians tying Phos down and forcing some replacements on them.
Phos’s nightmare speaks for itself, so the only thing I have to note is that those magic words, “If only you were never here,” have reared their ugly head again. Even if they’re using Antarc and the others as a mouthpiece, it seems clear that they’re really talking to themselves.
Like pretty much everyone else, I’d like to believe that Antarc would never say something like that to Phos… but it’s not like I foresaw Cinnabar rallying the troops to bury them alive either, so who knows. On one hand, Antarc loved Kongou the most out of all the gems, and would likely be pissed at Phos’s shenanigans. On the other hand, they are a sweetie. But, even if they could be repaired, their memories are gone, so we’ll never know how they would have reacted.
(Well, you know, they’re probably space dust. But it sure is suspicious that Aechmea just so happened to have a fake piece of Antarc on hand when Phos got to the moon. And what a coincidence that the aforementioned piece happens to be the exact same shape as one that broke off the actual Antarc.)
(…)
(He’s totally got Antarc sequestered away in a jar somewhere, doesn’t he?)
There’s something I find interesting about the conversation the gems have in the middle of the chapter. They all express an easygoing acceptance regarding the gems on the moon, aside from Zircon who is (rightfully) worried about Yellow. But, you’ll recall that Euclase suggested ice-breaking duty for any gems who were too rattled to sleep, and everyone present is someone whose partner/frenemy left for the moon. So, what does that imply? On that note, Bort is the only one who lost a partner to Phos’s rebellion that isn’t present. (Also, it’s nice to see that Morga has grown to be more confident.)
Jade’s interpretation of what happened, along Red Beryl/Obsidian’s unquestioning acceptance of that explanation, is so galaxy-brained that it makes me wonder if they all suspect that Kongou let Phos out, but are unwilling to admit that to themselves. Naturally though, Euclase seems to know what’s up. I wonder if they’ll confront Kongou about it.
I had wondered how Kongou would react after nearly starting third impact, and it seems he’s entered conceal-don’t-feel mode. It’s interesting that he’s keeping the fact that he let Phos out a secret; as far as I know, his programming wouldn’t compel him to withhold this information. What is it that he thinks would happen if the earth gems knew he was unwilling to keep antagonizing Phos, and not just unable? Another thing I noticed is that, while Kongou is sporting his usual stiff upper lip, the way his neutral expression is drawn seems just a bit more upset than usual. I might be imagining it though.
I’m not sure if Kongou’s line here is an obtuse way of saying that spring is on the way, or if he’s saying that global warming is still a thing even after the death of humanity. Though I must say, on a metaphorical level, his comment gels quite nicely with my observation from last month that reading this series is like being a frog in boiling water. Anyway, if he’s not referring to the change of the seasons, it brings up a topic that’s been on my mind for a while: namely, what are the gems going to do if they lose their island?
The subject has never been broached, but eroding away into nothing or being submerged by rising sea levels is the eventual fate of your average tiny island. And when that happens, and the gems are forced to live underwater, they’d lose their immortality for all intents and purposes. The saltwater would gradually wear away at them, and they’d have no way to harvest or even use the paste with which they repair themselves. It strikes me as a bit of a glaring issue, but I’ve seen no acknowledgment of it, aside from a throwaway line about a document measuring erosion rates along the shore. That said, ignoring uncomfortable truths is the gems’ favorite hobby, so I can’t say it breaks my suspension of disbelief.
If the island is revealed to be a volcanic caldera, then maybe they can hope for an eventual eruption which would bring forth new land for them to live on. Unless of course the island is sitting on top of a strato-volcano, in which case an eruption would blast the island and everyone on it to smithereens.
Anyway, I’ve grown weary of talking about things that aren’t ice floes, so let’s get to it. I’ve been having thoughts about them for a while now, and since this chapter features some ice floe action, I might as well take this opportunity to talk about it. It seems to me that the ice floes function as something of a metaphor. I think they serve to illustrate both the grief and despair that the gems endure, as well as their inability to reckon with such emotions.
I first made this connection when reading another user’s meta, which pointed out that in chapter 39, Phos’s head broke into the shape of the ice flows, thus showing that they see themselves as a sinner, which is what the ice floes apparently are. (I can’t for the life of me find the post in question, but if I do, I’ll edit a link to it onto this post.)
There are lot of unanswered question about the ice floes, and we only know a handful of things about them:
They are the same type of being as the gems—inclusions inhabiting a crystalline solid.
They have no will of their own, but can reflect the negative emotions of those around them.
They speak a language that Kongou understands which the rest of the gem do not, aside from Phos and their vore-induced powers of translation.
But, there’s reason to believe that we haven’t gotten the full truth regarding the ice floes. If they have no will of their own, then why do they specifically reflect negative emotions, and not just any thought that passes through someone’s head? Why do they menace and break the gems with what seems like malicious intent? Why are their screams so otherworldly compared to the sounds an actual ice floe would make? Why are shaped so strangely? Why are they “sinners?”
Here’s what I suspect is going on: The ice floes are just sentient enough to be upset about their cursed forms, but since they have no recourse other than to direct their misery at others, they resort to impotently screaming at anyone in earshot, and trying to consume the gems in order to integrate them into the ice—perhaps they feel that if they can’t be happy and whole, then no one should, which is certainly a sentiment that has cropped up a few times in the series. The way Kongou stares at the screaming ice floes in dismay as he clutches Phos’s eye makes me think that the two are being equated, that Phos’s wretched state is how the ice floes feel all the time. It also makes me wonder what Kongou is hearing at that moment, seeing as he can understand them. (And can I just say that this moment made me tear up a little? Even after all the awfulness that just transpired, he’s worried about Phos, and is hiding their pieces in his sleeve for safekeeping. The society he created may be flawed, to put it lightly, but I just can’t dislike anyone who chugs that Phos-loving juice.)
And in typical fashion, the gems are entirely incurious about the ice floes, and are only annoyed with them for disturbing their beauty sleep. Their solution is simply to shut them up, with nary a thought to the meaning of their actions, and, as Morga so aptly put it, to cheer louder than the ice floes can scream.
So, like I said, it kind of seems like the ice floes are an extended metaphor for both human suffering, and a failure to reckon with it. Man, remember how Phos’s first impulse upon learning that the ice floes are alive was to try and make friends with them? Even if it was dangerously naïve, I kind of find myself wishing that they had tried.
Have any of you guys ever read Ursula K. LeGuin’s short story, The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas? It’s a great, quick read. You know who really needs to read it, and take its lessons to heart? The entire cast, except maybe Ventricosus, or something. Because if someone, anyone doesn’t start walking away from Omelas, then this can only end in tragedy. (Phos tried to, but on their way out, they slipped on a banana peel and broke their neck.)
Which brings me to my thoughts on Cinnabar. Two of the things they said this chapter seem to subtly imply that they haven’t made peace with the idea of being happy at another’s expense. There’s their line about how Dia’s probably having more fun than they should be, and then there’s the moment when, after Kongou calls their happiness a blessing, they smile for only a moment before growing forlorn. They don’t extend that sentiment towards Phos—heaven forbid anyone show basic decency towards the local scapegoat—but I do think these moments are subtle indications that Cinnabar is more thoughtful regarding their place in the world than the others. You’ll also recall that the other gems didn’t spare much thought to Antarc after they were taken, so it’s nice to see Cinnabar pick up a bit of slack there. Now that I think about it, if my musings about them in the last chapter were correct, they might be assuming that they’ve done Phos a favor, and that they’re perfectly fine now that they’ve made it back to the moon. After all, they said themselves that they believe Phos is beloved there.
The only other thing on my mind this chapter is how, in much the same way the text has been preoccupied with both the joys and horrors of change, these last few arcs have concerned themselves with the act of moving on—the sense of freedom and relief it brings, but also the agony of being unable to let go, the futility of mere escapism, and the desolation of being the one who is left behind.
Finally, I said in my last essay that I’d be posting my crackpot Cairn theory in the near future. Here’s a link to that for any interested parties who may have missed it the first time around.
#houseki no kuni#land of the lustrous#well that chapter was mildly not unpleasant#can't wait to descend back into hell next chapter
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2018 NFL Preview: Maybe the dull Ravens can get a jolt from Lamar Jackson
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Yahoo Sports is previewing all 32 teams as we get ready for the NFL season, counting down the teams one per weekday in reverse order of our initial 2018 power rankings. No. 1 will be revealed on Aug. 1, the day before the Hall of Fame Game kicks off the preseason.
(Yahoo Sports graphics by Amber Matsumoto)
Winning always sells. No matter the sport or the market, it’s a universally accepted fact that you can overcome about anything – a bad stadium, a wretched history, a dreadfully boring style of play, whatever – just by winning.
The 2017 Baltimore Ravens were an exception.
A strange thing happened last season in Week 17, long before Andy Dalton and Tyler Boyd hooked up on a miracle fourth-down touchdown to knock the Ravens out of the playoffs. Fans didn’t show up, even with a playoff spot on the line for the home team. Coach John Harbaugh blamed the late start on New Year’s Eve days before the game kicked off. Some said it was because fans were upset the team kneeled during the national anthem once in London earlier in the season.
It wasn’t just Week 17. Empty seats in Baltimore was a theme through the season, even though the Ravens looked like they were going to the playoffs until the final seconds of the season. Fan apathy started to become a story in 2016 (long before the kneeling in London, which pokes holes in that theory).
“Am I disappointed in it? Yes, I’m disappointed in it. Concerned? Yes,” Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti said, according to the team’s transcripts. “If winning is what we need to do to fill the stadium up, then that’s part and parcel with why we’re here. We’re here to win games, we’re here to succeed, and when we fail, the no-shows are a way of telling us that our fans aren’t pleased. So, we’ve got to win. And I hope that solves the majority of the problems.”
But winning isn’t the only factor. Baltimore was in playoff contention all season. The truth is, the Ravens are a boring football team and have been for a couple years. Not bad. Just boring.
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The Ravens offense has become dreadful to watch. They were last in the NFL in yards per pass last season. They had more than 400 yards in a game just once – a fun 39-38 loss to the Pittsburgh Steelers – and never had a 300-yard passing game. They did, however, have eight games with less than 200 passing yards, and one with 52 passing yards. They had the fewest 20-yard pass plays in the NFL last season, with 29. They were better on offense in the second half, but it still wasn’t an offense that excited anyone.
What do you do when you’re a successful franchise – the Ravens have had only one losing season since 2007 – but the fans are tuning you out anyway? You go take the most exciting player in the NFL draft.
Picking Louisville quarterback Lamar Jackson wasn’t the only change the Ravens made or considered, but it will be the one that defines the franchise in the upcoming years. Baltimore announced this is Ozzie Newsome’s last season as general manager, a plan that has been in the works for a while. Bisciotti didn’t deny he thought about replacing Harbaugh (“It was certainly a consideration, but not one that I was inclined to make this year,” he said). There’s a new defensive coordinator, out of necessity after Dean Pees “retired” only to resurface with the Titans shortly after. Baltimore has three new receivers and two new rookie tight ends. And, of course, a new quarterback controversy.
Joe Flacco hasn’t been dealt a great hand lately. The Ravens haven’t put much talent around him. A back injury he suffered last July might be a reason he didn’t play well last season. But here’s what matters now: It has been a long time since Flacco had a good season, he’s 33 years old with a terrible contract, and he’ll soon be the Ravens’ former quarterback. The clock starts when a team drafts a quarterback in the first round. Ask Alex Smith how that goes.
It’s possible Flacco holds off Jackson all this season. The Ravens added receivers Michael Crabtree, John Brown and Willie Snead in free agency. They drafted tight ends Hayden Hurst and Mark Andrews. That will help Flacco. Also, the Ravens probably will be in playoff contention again, and teams rarely change quarterbacks when that’s the case. But the change is coming. It’s just a matter of when.
I think Jackson has the ability to be this year’s Deshaun Watson, a player who has an instant impact and we laugh at the teams that passed on him. There are plenty of teams who will be looking for a quarterback soon but ignored Jackson anyway. Other than Mike Vick, Jackson might be the most dynamic rushing quarterback we’ve seen in college. He’s a far better pocket passer than many critics gave him credit for. Ravens players raved about him in offseason practices. If he’s in the right offense – and the Ravens have assistants who have positive experience with mobile quarterbacks – I think Jackson will be a star. I loved the pick for the Ravens and think it will change their franchise. Even if it makes things uncomfortable in the present.
Even with an inevitable quarterback controversy and incorporating a lot of new faces on offense, we know what to expect out of the Ravens. They won’t be fun to watch, but they’ll contend. They always do.
The question is, will the people of Baltimore come out and watch this time around?
Joe Flacco (5) watches quarterback Lamar Jackson throw a pass during an offseason Ravens practice. (AP)
Before breaking down the moves, a quick rant about the Ryan Grant situation. The Ravens agreed to a $29 million deal with Grant, a former Washington Redskins receiver. It was an enormous contract for someone with Grant’s resume. Before Grant’s deal with Baltimore became official, the Raiders cut Michael Crabtree. The Ravens seemed to have some buyer’s remorse, because they said Grant failed his physical even though he has never missed a game in four NFL seasons. Then — surprise, surprise — the Ravens signed Crabtree. Grant settled for a one-year, $5 million deal with the Colts. While the Ravens stick by their story that is was a medical decision out of their control, it’s easy to be skeptical. And if the Ravens decided to fail Grant on his physical because something better came along, they deserve every bit of bad karma coming to them.
All that out of the way, the Ravens made some necessary moves to improve their passing offense. Crabtree is a solid addition, John Brown has been a good deep threat when he’s healthy and is worth a shot, and Willie Snead was productive with the New Orleans Saints before falling out of favor. Between first-round pick Hayden Hurst and third-round pick Mark Andrews, the Ravens might finally have an answer at tight end. And as stated previously, I believe Lamar Jackson at No. 32 overall will end up being a pick we all remember.
GRADE: B
The Ravens have a heck of a secondary. They allowed a 72.4 passer rating last season. Assuming cornerback Jimmy Smith has a smooth recovery from Achilles surgery, it should be a great group again. Between Smith, Brandon Carr and 2017 first-round pick Marlon Humphrey, the Ravens have great cornerback depth. And Tony Jefferson and Eric Weddle form one of the NFL’s best safety duos.
I wonder if the way last season ended causes a hangover. In the final minute of the season finale, Bengals receiver Tyler Boyd somehow got free on fourth and 12 for a 49-yard touchdown. The Bengals won and the Bills took the Ravens’ playoff spot. You don’t shake that off in a day or two.
“We get into a fourth-and-12 situation, we get into a coverage that we think has a chance,” John Harbaugh said after the season. “We do not play it exceptionally well. It is a little bit of a safer coverage. It is a coverage built for that down and distance, and (Andy Dalton) moves around the pocket a little bit and drops one in there, and your heart is broken. That is football. Nobody writes a script. You do not get a chance to decide how the script is going to be written. That is all you can do. That is the human reality of the whole thing.”
It’s a loss that will sting for years. The Ravens won five of six late in the season, were a huge favorite to beat the Bengals, and had to assume until that fourth-and-12 they were going to the playoffs. Then, poof, their season was over. Harbaugh is a good coach and I figure he’ll lead his veteran team through this, but that’s one tough way to end a season.
This stat is a staple in these previews: Since 2006, the year after Aaron Rodgers was picked by the Green Bay Packers, Jake Locker and Brady Quinn are the only two first-round quarterbacks to not start at least one game as a rookie. Of the past 29 first-round quarterbacks, 27 got at least one rookie start. That tells us the chances of Lamar Jackson sitting all season are probably slim. The holdup might be that the Ravens’ offense will have to change dramatically when the change is made. The offense Joe Flacco runs might not have much in common with what the Ravens use with Jackson. It wouldn’t be easy to change, then go back to Flacco if Jackson struggles. No matter, recent history tells us it’s probably a good bet we see Jackson start at least once this season.
For what seems like the 20th straight season, Terrell Suggs led the Ravens in sacks. And continuing another streak, I’ll wonder in the Ravens preview how long Suggs can keep this going. He’s a great player, a future Hall of Famer, but it’s not like there’s a great history of 36-year-old pass rushers (Suggs will turn 36 on Oct. 11). At least the Ravens have emerging rusher Matt Judon, who had eight sacks last season, but no other Raven had more than three-and-a-half sacks. There is a lot of promise at the position, but they need more production. They need a Za’Darius Smith (who had a lot of quarterback hits, just not many sacks) or 2017 second-round pick Tyus Bowser to take the next step, because Suggs won’t be this good forever … I think.
From Yahoo’s Liz Loza: “Keep an eye on Willie Snead. Sure, his 2017 campaign underwhelmed, but a lot of that had to do with a three-game suspension and a nagging hamstring injury. The year prior, he posted a 72-895-4 stat line, demonstrating sticky mitts (catch rate of 69.2 percent) and dominating after the catch (373 yards). Given the Ravens’ lack of pass-catching weapons, the former Saint figures to get fed. He’s not a prime red-zone target, but he could easily see 95 targets on the season and have value in PPR-friendly formats.”
[Booms/Busts: Fantasy outlook on the Ravens.]
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We talked about fumble luck in the Titans preview. Many analysts believe strongly in fumble luck, good or bad, being a key indicator of regression. The Ravens might have reason to worry then. Baltimore had the best fumble luck in the NFL last season, recovering 65.9 percent of fumbles according to Team Rankings. That helped fuel a plus-17 turnover margin. If that doesn’t repeat, the Ravens will have to improve in other areas to be in the playoff hunt again.
IS ALEX COLLINS THE REAL DEAL?
Collins is a good example of why teams should think twice before investing a lot into the running back position. Collins was a fifth-round pick of the Seahawks in 2016. He got 31 carries as a rookie, was cut before last season and got signed to the Ravens’ practice squad. Then Collins, who couldn’t find a spot on anyone’s 53-man roster to start the season, finished the season as one of the more efficient backs in the league.
The Ravens signed Collins from the practice squad early in the season, and he ended up with 973 rushing yards and six touchdowns. He averaged 4.6 yards per carry and brought a much-needed spark to the Ravens offense. He had the eighth highest success rate among all NFL backs last season, according to Football Outsiders. While the Ravens get Kenneth Dixon back from a torn meniscus that wiped out his 2017 season, and Javorius Allen is still around too, Collins should be the clear lead back. There’s no reason to believe Collins can’t repeat, or even improve upon, his breakout season.
The Ravens were very good last season on defense and special teams (kicker Justin Tucker is simply amazing), and that should carry over. The offense also improved late, even if few people noticed. There were some important upgrades on offense this offseason. While I’m not sure a team with Michael Crabtree as a clear No. 1 receiver is in a great spot, the offense should be better. If that’s the case and the defense and special teams play well again, it’s not too tough to envision the Ravens improving by a couple wins and challenging the Steelers for the AFC North.
Quarterback controversies are usually tricky to navigate. And there will be a controversy at some point, especially since Lamar Jackson is such an exciting option. If Joe Flacco struggles early, John Harbaugh will be in a tough spot with a quarterback who helped him win a Super Bowl. And as much as I like Jackson, maybe when he gets a shot we’ll see exactly why he fell in the draft. I’m through picking the Ravens to have a losing season because it seems they never do, but it’s easy to see them missing the playoffs again.
The Ravens will probably be what they usually are. They won’t be particularly exciting, but effective. I’ll assume they’re in the nine-win range, not good enough to make the Steelers sweat but in the wild-card hunt. Maybe this time around they won’t have a playoff spot snatched from them in the final minute of the season.
32. Cleveland Browns 31. Indianapolis Colts 30. New York Jets 29. Arizona Cardinals 28. Buffalo Bills 27. Cincinnati Bengals 26. Chicago Bears 25. New York Giants 24. Miami Dolphins 23. Washington Redskins 22. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 21. Houston Texans 20. Seattle Seahawks 19. Oakland Raiders 18. Denver Broncos 17. San Francisco 49ers 16. Detroit Lions 15. Tennessee Titans
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Frank Schwab is a writer for Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at [email protected] or follow him on Twitter! Follow @YahooSchwab
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