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[heyitslapis]

as someone whos watched h3IIuva b0$$ I really hate that the show's creator is Like That because i love the characters but theyre all built like sticks & unnecessarily fetishized so watching makes me Uncomfortable

[the-official-ceo]

The thing I love about DIO is that throughout Part 3 he's treated as this inhuman, larger than life menace whose very existence cannot be sanctioned. He's talked about by other characters as if he's some terrifying, almost Lovecraftian force of pure evil. A monster whose very presence is a threat to the entire world.

Yet for the life of me I cannot tell you what his evil machinations are. Dude became a vampire, killed some people, stitched some human heads onto cats for some reason, and vaguely said he was gonna rule the world, then got stuck in a coffin at the bottom of the ocean for a calendar century and popped out, somehow made it all the way to Egypt, and just sorta vibed out in his big dramatically beshadowed vampire mansion. So far as I can tell all he did in that timeframe was scam people into being his henchmen and have no less than 5 illigitimate children. The only reason Jotaro has beef with him is cause cosmic forces were somehow making his mom sick, which I never got the impression that DIO was even aware was happening. Yeah the whole "heaven" thing was established later but as far as his actual presence in the narrative he has absolutely no master plan or end goal, he's just kind of a stinker and wants those damn Joestar boys outta the picture.

Still somehow the most iconic, show-stealing villain in the series. An unforgettable big bad who was 100% carried by a great design, one sick fight, and Aura™️. Your fave antag could never.

[starkwlkr]

Not a request (at least, technically 🤭) but if you’d ever write something specific about Hugh and his wife sharing the screen in Deadpool and Wolverine, and their kid’s reactions, I’m absolutely down for that

i love you in every universe | hugh jackman

an: sorry for the long wait!! texas is freezing and i’ve been getting a bit sick :( but i hope you’re all doing well <3

New York

The Jackman kids were busy with their own lives, but when Olivia suggested a movie day, they all cleared their schedules for the rest of the day. Since you and the kids didn’t attend the world premiere of Deadpool and Wolverine and had yet to see it, your family decided it was a good idea to watch it together in the cinema.

As Olivia grabbed her popcorn tin that was handed to her, Reese and Alex tried their best at the claw machines in the small arcade. You were still deciding what type of candy to get while Hugh patiently waited.

“Look, peanut M&M’s, you love those.” Hugh pointed at the box of candy on display.

“Better grab two, Olivia always ends up stealing them from me.” You chuckle as Hugh does as he was told.

“I’m sad, they don’t have the wolverine popcorn bucket. I was hoping to use it for my Halloween candy this year,” Olivia joined the rest of her family, Reese and Alex had been unsuccessful in winning a prize. “It’s your head, can’t you call Kevin Feige and tell him to send me one?” Olivia poked Hugh’s arm.

“Sure.” Hugh playfully rolled his eyes and walked up to the counter to pay for his family’s snacks.

As he walked away, the kids began to whisper to you, asking if you were in the movie. And like always, they got nothing out of you.

“I’m not in this! I was literally at home with you guys!” You tried to tell them, but they weren’t convinced.

Once Hugh returned, your family made their way to the designated house and sat in their assigned seats. You always loved watching the previews so you made your family leave a couple minutes earlier than intended. After each preview, Olivia would say “I’m watching that” or “eh”.

There were a couple more people around you so when the lights dimmed, Alex made sure Olivia stopped talking.

For some reason, you were nervous and excited. This was the first time your family actually sat down together in the cinema and watched something you and Hugh worked on. The moment was too perfect, it was definitely a memory you never wanted to lose.

Olivia danced and bopped her head to the opening scene while Alex and Reese lightly laughed. You remember Hugh texting you something about a dance scene involving Deadpool.

As the film went on, you were excited to the reactions of your kids when your character showed up. It would be after Wade and Logan arrive to the cave and meet Elektra, Gambit, Laura and Blade. Your characters were from different teams, but that didn’t stop Deadpool/Ryan from making jokes about your real life marriage.

“Who brought us here?” Deadpool asked.

“That would be me.” A female voice said.

You and Hugh turned your heads to watch your kids’ reactions as Laura entered. Olivia was so happy to see Dafne back that she almost screamed of joy. The Spanish girl was like a sister to Olivia. Alex gasped as Laura revealed herself while Reese had the biggest smile on his face.

“Oh shit. Logan that’s her, that’s X-23,” Deadpool informed Wolverine. “She’s the one I told you about.”

Both Laura and Logan kept their gaze on each other. Olivia wiped a fake tear, whispering to her father that it was beautiful to see Laura back.

“Wait, is there by any chance a Mrs. Hugh Jackman back there?” Wade pointed to where Laura had just come out of.

“You have such a big mouth and irritating voice, red.”

The screen cut from Wade to your character, leaning against the doorway of the cave.

“Holy f—” Reese choked on his soda, popcorn tumbling from Alex’s lap.

“Mom?” Olivia whispered in disbelief.

“Oh my fucking mother of god,” Wade gasped at the sight of you. He slowly walked up to you and touched your face thinking you were a ghost or something from his imagination. You swatted his hand away immediately. “You’re real. Logan, it’s your wife!”

“I’m sorry? Who the fuck is Logan?” You asked.

“That grumpy old man back there, but this is huge for the social media edits! I can already picture them. Anyways, I’m assuming your three little ankle biters are running around somewhere,” Wade said in an Australian accent, looking around for your ‘children’. “Tell the mean one she owes me ten bucks.” He then turned to the camera and pointed at it. “You know what you did, you piece of-”

Olivia couldn’t help but burst out laughing. It had been years since she and Ryan made a bet and she had lost.

“Okay! Are you done?” You interrupted.

“No, but thanks for asking sweetie pie,” Wade patted your head. “This is an even bigger moment than the US government asking Steven Spielberg to direct the moon landing!”

Logan groaned. “Can you not do this right now?”

“No, I will absolutely do this right now,” Wade quipped. He turned back to you. “I mean, seriously, you and Logan? You’ve been dancing around each other for how many movies now? And Kevin Feige still hasn’t made it canon? Unbelievable!”

“He understands me!” Olivia whisper yelled. The small comment made the Jackman family laugh.

You sighed. “Please shut up.”

“You are being a negative Nancy! I’m giving the internet what they want!” He attempted to wink but couldn’t because he had his mask on. “I mean look at the tension, people! The chemistry! Forget will they, won’t they—they definitely already did. Three times!”

The kids laughed throughout the scene while you and your husband watched with smiles plastered on your faces. You couldn’t even remember why you were nervous in the first place. No matter what you did in your film career, the kids would love it.

[inthedayswhenlandswerefew]

1968 [Chapter 2: Hera, Goddess Of Childbirth]

A/N: Enjoy Chapter 2 a little early! See you on Sunday for Chapter 3 🥰

Series Summary: Aemond is embroiled in a fierce battle to secure the Democratic Party nomination and defeat his archnemesis, Richard Nixon, in the presidential election. You are his wife of two years and wholeheartedly indoctrinated into the Targaryen political dynasty. But you have an archnemesis of your own: Aemond’s chronically delinquent brother Aegon.

Series Warnings: Language, sexual content (18+ readers only), violence, bodily injury, character deaths, New Jersey, age-gap relationships, drinking, smoking, drugs, pregnancy and childbirth, kids with weird Greek names, historical topics including war and discrimination, math.

Word Count: 5.4k

Tagging: @arcielee @huramuna @glasscandlegrenades @gemmagirlss1 @humanpurposes @mariahossain @marvelescvpe @darkenchantress @aemondssapphirebussy @haslysl @bearwithegg @beautifulsweetschaos @travelingmypassion @althea-tavalas @chucklefak @serving-targaryen-realness @chaoticallywriting @moonfllowerr @rafeism @burningcoffeetimetravel-fics @herfantasyworldd @mangosmootji

💜 All of my writing can be found HERE! 💜

You are buzzed at a private party in the Rainbow Room of Rockefeller Center, Midtown, February 1966, chandeliers and candlelight, pink and red hearts made of paper hanging from shimmering strings and littering the floor. Your roommate Barbara Nassau Astor—yes those Astors, Astor Avenue in the Bronx, Astoria in Queens, “the landlords of New York”—brought you along tonight, and the chance to be swept up into her glittering existence is precisely why your father sent you to a school like Manhattanville College of the Sacred Heart. Barb knows people who know people who know other people and every single individual in that grand design is wealthy and worldly and could possibly lead you into the generous arms of your future husband. You are from Tarpon Springs, Florida, heiress to a sea sponge fortune, and your father nurses powerful ambitions of intermingling his blood with the Northeastern elite.

You scan the selection as you sip your Pink Squirrel. You could marry a doctor and sit in the living room waiting for him to come home at 9 or 10 or 11 p.m., fix him a Whiskey Sour or a Sazerac, listen to him bemoan the complexities of nerves and veins before accompanying him to bed and repeating the whole process the next day. You could marry a lawyer or an advertising executive, and your fate would be much the same. Your own parents are partners in life and business, but you have seen enough to know how rare this is. These men of the Rainbow Room, 65 floors above icy streets radiant with headlights, want a wife whose hands will stay manicured and idle: nannies will tend to the children, maids will clean the house, mistresses will massage the knots out of the muscles of his back. And you—a relative upstart, new money among ancient bloodlines—will have no right to demand otherwise.

A man interrupts your reverie. He wants to know about the pendant you wear around your neck. You sigh before you turn to him; you resist the instinct to roll your eyes. And then you see him. Tall, blonde, blue-eyed, with a curious intensity and a teasing little smirk, an Old Fashioned in his grasp like molten gold. You don’t know it yet, but he is a senator from New Jersey, very recently elected, victorious yet still hungry. He steals the oxygen out of your lungs. He drowns you in the amber-musk warmth of his cologne.

“It’s Athena,” you say, touching your fingertips to the silver medallion self-consciously; and you are rarely self-conscious. The black polish has been scrubbed from your nails and replaced with a soft, shimmering champagne. You spent two hours this afternoon having your hair painfully teased and arranged into a Brigitte Bardot-inspired updo.

“Goddess of wisdom.”

“And war and peace. And math.”

“Math?” He is intrigued.

“That’s what I’m studying at school. Math.”

“And yet you are not disinterested in the humanities. You know Greek mythology.”

“Well, Tarpon Springs has a lot of Greeks, and that’s where I’m from, so.”

“Studies math. From Tarpon Springs, Florida. I’m learning everything about you.” He smiles, this magnetic stranger who has captured you like a moon lured into a planet’s gravity. He swallows a mouthful of his Old Fashioned, moisture glistening on his lips. “Do you like Greek food?”

You can’t seem to follow his words. Blood is rushing into your face, hot and dizzying. “What?”

“Greek food. Have you tried it? Hummus, tzatziki, gyros, spanakopita, horiatiki, baklava.”

“Oh yeah, I’ve had it. It’s great.”

“My family owns a house on Long Beach Island,” he says casually. “We eat a lot of Greek food there. You should join us for dinner sometime soon.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Very soon. Maybe this weekend. Are you free?”

No, you’re not; but you’ll cancel plans until you are. “Um, okay. Sure. And who…sorry, I might have missed it, but…who are you…?”

“Aemond Targaryen.” And he shakes your hand like you’re someone who matters. “I’m a senator. I’m trying to end the war.”

With him, you could be a part of something magnificent. With him, you could help save the world.

~~~~~~~~~~

Asteria is the goddess of falling stars, but the home of rising ones. On the north end of Long Beach Island, New Jersey—only 100 miles south of the sleek bladelike skyscrapers of Manhattan—lies the sprawling Targaryen estate. The nine-acre property features one main house and another three for guests, a swimming pool, a tennis court, a ten-car garage, a boathouse, a pier, and an ample stretch of beach that abuts the Atlantic Ocean, open water with nothing interrupting the infinite, miles-deep blue from the East Coast to the Iberian Peninsula. It is the first week of July, 1968, and your 23rd birthday. You are lazing in a lounge chair on the emerald green lawn and eating your third slice of melopita, a cheesecake-like dessert made with honey and ricotta. It originates from the Greek island of Sifnos.

“You two can’t murder each other while I’m gone,” Aemond says. He’s sitting between you and Aegon. His stitches have healed, the worst of his pain has subsided, his poll numbers have only improved since the assassination attempt. He has a glass eye that he can insert for public appearances, but he dislikes it; at home he wears a leather eyepatch that still unnerves the children. Tomorrow, Aemond is flying to Tacoma to campaign ahead of the Washington State Convention on the 13th. Most of the family will be joining him, with only three Targaryens remaining at Asteria: ailing Viserys, useless Aegon, and you, officially too pregnant to travel by plane. You are wearing a floral, flowing, two-piece swimsuit. The sun is blazing in a clear sky. The record player is piping out Time Of The Season by the Zombies.

Aegon waves a hand flippantly, then adjusts his preposterously large blue-tinted plastic sunglasses; he is shirtless, flabby, very sunburned. “I’ll barely be here.”

Aemond looks over at him, amused. “Oh yeah? And what pressing engagements do you have to attend to? I’d love to know.”

You take a bite of your melopita and scatter crumbs across the swell of your belly: seven and a half months along. “I’m sure the prostitutes miss him.”

“They do,” Aegon snaps. “I’m their favorite customer.”

“Well you’re a reprieve for them. It’s always over so quickly.”

Aemond is snickering. Aegon says to him: “23, huh? A 13-year age difference. She could almost be your daughter.”

“And 17 years younger than you. She could definitely be yours.”

“That’s how Aegon likes his girls,” you say. “Too inexperienced to recognize end-stage degeneracy. Still stumbling their way through Shakespeare for English class.”

“Why can’t she stay at the brownstone?” Aegon asks irritably. Aemond owns a historic townhouse in Georgetown for when Congress is in session, though he’s rarely been there since he announced that he was running for president.

“Because Doxie is here to make sure she’s taken care of,” Aemond replies. Eudoxia has been the head housekeeper of Asteria for decades, a formidable battleaxe of a woman who speaks very little English and has a seemingly endless supply of patterned scarves to wrap around her ink black dyed hair. There currently aren’t any permanent staff stationed at the brownstone, and Aemond does not trust strangers. “And because my future first lady is hosting a tea party on the 10th.”

“A tea party!” Aegon gasps, mocking you. “Surely that will patch the wounds of our troubled nation. She’s an inspiration. She’s motherfucking Gloria Steinem.”

“She’s Aphrodite,” Aemond says, beaming with pride, his remaining eye fixed on your belly. He’s lost one piece of himself, but in a month and a half he’ll gain another. “Goddess of love.”

“There must be a more appropriate mythological character. Medusa, perhaps. Lyssa was the goddess of rabies, Epiales was the goddess of nightmares.”

“Aegon, I had no idea you were so…” You search for the right word. “Literate.”

“Io was turned into a cow.” He grins at you, toothy, malicious.

“She’s also one of Jupiter’s moons,” Aemond muses. He draws invisible orbits in the air with his long, graceful fingers. “Beautiful, celestial, pristine…”

“A satellite,” Aegon says. “Mindless. Aimless. Going wherever she’s told.”

Aemond insists as he twists the bracelet around your right wrist, a delicate gold chain he bought during your honeymoon in Hawaii: “Aphrodite.”

“Didn’t she fuck around with, like, everyone?”

“Maybe you should be Aphrodite,” you tell Aegon.

Mimi appears, tottering across the lawn with the straps of her sundress sliding off her shoulders and her Gimlet sloshing precariously in its glass. The children are playing in the surf with the nannies and Fosco, who is entertaining them by diving for seashells and delivering his treasures into their tiny, grasping palms. Criston is supervising from the sand, though he steals frequent glimpses of Alicent as she feeds a wheelchair-bound Viserys—much diminished after a number of strokes—his own slice of melopita, one careful, patient spoonful at a time. “Can we…” Mimi bursts out laughing and almost falls over. She claws her way upright again using the back of Aegon’s chair. “Um…I was thinking…”

“What?” Aegon asks, annoyed, avoidant. If they’ve ever been happy, it was a transient epoch that came and went long before you joined the family. It was before the asteroid killed the dinosaurs.

“We should go back to Mykonos. We had such a nice time in Mykonos. Didn’t we? Didn’t we just adore Mykonos?”

Aegon sighs, glowering out over the ocean. “Yeah, we sure did. Ten years ago.”

“Exactly!” Mimi gushes, oblivious. “When can we go? Next week? Let’s go next week.”

“Mimi, you and the kids will be in Washington, remember?” Aemond says. Alicent will have to be her handler; usually it’s your job to make sure Mimi is ready for photos, eats enough to stay conscious, doesn’t trip over her own feet, doesn’t talk too much to the press.

“Washington?” Like she’s never heard of it.

“The state. Not the city. For the convention.”

“Oh right. Right.” She gulps her Gimlet. You could set your watch by Mimi’s drinking. Tipsy by lunch, drunk at dinner, crawling on the floor chasing the dogs around by 8 p.m. The Targaryens keep a drove of Alopekis, small and white and foxlike. “Well…maybe some other time.”

“After the election,” Aemond says with an abiding, encouraging smile. He tolerates Mimi because he needs her: happy wholesome family, American Dream. Down at the water’s edge, the nannies are giving towels to Fosco and the children as they scamper out of the frothing waves, Mimi’s five and Helaena’s three: Daphne, Neaera—no one can ever seem to spell her name correctly, least of all the six-year-old girl herself—and Evangelos.

Mimi departs, on the hunt for a fresh Gimlet. Aegon reaches into the pocket of his swim trunks—Hawaiian print, royal blue—and pulls out a joint and a Zippo. He sticks the joint between his teeth and goes to light it.

“No,” Aemond says immediately, yanking the joint out of Aegon’s mouth and stomping it into the earth. Then he points down the beach towards the sand dunes. “You know journalists will sneak around trying to get photos. You know we’re never truly alone out here.”

“They can’t tell what I’m smoking!”

“Don’t argue with me.”

“You know there are teenagers getting their limbs blown off in Vietnam right now? I think society has bigger problems than me smoking grass.”

“And yet to solve those bigger problems, I have to win in November. And the suburban housewives will not vote for me if they think I support legalizing marijuana. Trust me, I know. I’ve met them.”

“I wouldn’t want those people’s votes,” Aegon says derisively.

“You’d rather Nixon get them?”

Aegon doesn’t have a speedy rebuttal this time. He contemplates the Atlantic Ocean, the wind tearing at his hair.

“It’s hot as hell,” Aemond says to you, gathering up the newspapers he’s been leafing through, never not thinking about the election, never not strategizing. “Come on. Let’s go inside.”

As you accompany Aemond towards the main house—and of course you follow him, always, anywhere—Alicent waves you over to where she and Viserys are sitting to wish you a happy birthday again. From this vantage point, you can just barely spot Otto and Helaena strolling through her garden, a jungle of butterfly bushes and herbs. The stricken Targaryen patriarch beams at the swell of your belly. Viserys likes you, you are his favorite daughter-in-law, though perhaps this is not so lofty an achievement. Moreover, he likes that you are carrying the child of his decent son. Aemond has already decided on the baby’s name: Aristos Apollo. If it is in fact a boy, you suppose you’ll call him Ari, but he doesn’t feel real to you yet. He belongs to Aemond, to the Targaryens, to the nation, but not quite to you. He is more myth than flesh.

“Nothing is more precious than children,” Viserys tells Aemond, raspy and frail. “I would have had at least five more if I could.” Alicent bows her head, an acknowledgement of her failure in this regard. Viserys expects it. You and Aemond politely avert your gazes.

“Thank God for this baby,” Alicent says. “After the year we’ve had? That the whole world has had? We all need something to be grateful for.”

“Yes,” Aemond agrees, smiling. It must be the promise of a son that has made his maiming go down smoother, and maybe it is his soaring poll numbers too, and maybe it is gratitude that he escaped with his life, and maybe it is even the fact that he has you.

But long after dusk when you’re getting ready for bed—slathering yourself in Jergens, stepping into your chiffon nightgown—as you pass through the sliver of light pouring out of the bathroom, you catch a glimpse of something that stops you. Aemond is standing in front of the mirror with his hands on the rim of the sink, his eyepatch slung over the towel rack, his voided eye socket exposed and gory and irreparably wounded. There’s something in his scarred face that you can’t recall ever seeing before. There is a seething, secret, animal rage. There is fury for everyone who has ever denied him anything.

You remember who you were before you met Aemond at the Rainbow Room in Manhattan at a party you were almost not illustrious enough to attend. You wore your hair long and loose, you downed shots, you smoked, you swore, you slept through class almost every Monday; and then you packed all of this away in your allegorical attic and became someone who could stand beside a senator, and then a candidate, and then a president, someone who could tip the scales of fate.

And you think as you lurk unnoticed in the doorway: Maybe he’s been hiding parts of himself too.

~~~~~~~~~~

July 10th, 10 a.m. He’s snoring on a couch in the living room, the one patterned with sailboats. He’s hugging his acoustic guitar like a child clinging to a teddy bear. Sometimes he plays it for the kids: Get Rhythm, Twist And Shout, Stand By Me, You Can’t Hurry Love. That’s about the extent of his involvement in their lives. He has a law degree from Columbia that his father bought for him. Aside from a brief and disastrous stint as the mayor of Trenton, he has never been gainfully employed. You pour the cupful of ice cubes you collected from the freezer all over his bare chest.

“What the fuck!” Aegon screams as he startles awake. “What is wrong with you?!”

“The guests are arriving in two hours. And you’re going to help me host.”

“I’m not slobbering at the feet of those manicured elitists.”

“It’s easy to say ‘vive la révolution’ from your family’s mansion that you reside in as a professional failure.”

“Yeah, you’re right, I’m so worthless. If only I spent more time hosting tea parties.”

“I can’t small talk with governors and congressmen, so I have to charm their wives instead. That’s how it works, you idiot.”

Aegon rolls off the couch and rubs his forehead, wincing, hungover. In the dining room, Eudoxia is readying cups and plates, polishing silverware, folding napkins. The caterers will be here soon, and there are also three dishes that you made yourself: stafidopsomo, a bread with raisins and cinnamon; rizogalo, Greek-style rice pudding; and baklava you spent hours chopping walnuts for. At least one show of domestic prowess is an expectation, two is impressive, three is above and beyond, something for the other political wives to chatter about. You know the importance of making a good impression on them. They are as much a part of their husbands’ careers as the speech writers, communication directors, fundraisers. “I need a Bloody Mary,” Aegon groans.

“You need to pull your goddamn weight. Everyone else is working to get Aemond elected. Your five-year-old kid is out on the campaign trail and you can’t walk around with a tray of hummus and mini spanakopitas? Are you serious?”

“I’m dead serious,” he says, standing with some difficulty and then shoving by you. “Fuck off, Miss America.”

“Aegon!”

But he’s padding off towards the kitchen with his bare feet, tiki print boxer shorts, bedraggled hair. You follow after him in your spotless white heels and sundress patterned with common blue violets. Your earrings are pearls. You’ve wrangled your hair into a tidy French twist. Aegon is getting a pitcher of tomato juice out of the refrigerator, a bottle of vodka from a cardboard Apple Jacks box. He keeps booze and pills hidden everywhere; you’re always stumbling across his caches.

You open your mouth to unleash something hurtful, something hateful, but then you feel the cold flare of liquid on your thighs as the ocean breeze gusts in through the windows. My dress, you think, alarmed. What did I spill on it? One of the ice cubes you threw at Aegon must have caught on the skirt somehow and melted. That’s your first guess, and it is welcome; water doesn’t stain, and you aren’t sure if you have another outfit that is both formal enough and will still fit you. But when you reach down to touch your leg—now the liquid reaches your knees—your hand comes away red.

You look up at Aegon. He’s staring back at you, thunderstruck, horrified. His Bloody Mary ingredients are now forgotten on the countertop. He shouts for the housekeeper: “Doxie?!”

There is indistinct, cantankerous Greek grumbling in return.

“Doxie! Call an ambulance!”

“I don’t understand,” you say to Aegon, bright clotless blood dyeing the whirls of your fingerprints. I ruined my dress, you think nonsensically. “It doesn’t hurt. Shouldn’t it hurt?”

“Don’t move, don’t do anything, just wait for the paramedics.”

But the edges of your vision are going dark and hazy, and the room spins like a flipped coin. Your knees and ankles fold, bones turned to paper. As you drop, Aegon dives for you. You clutch at him, but there’s nothing to grab onto, no suit jacket, no tie, only skin that glows with sunburn. “If I don’t wake up, tell Aemond—”

“You’re not dying, bitch. My luck’s not that good.”

But his eyes are panicked; and they are the last thing you see before you black out.

~~~~~~~~~~

Arteries of cement, bones like lead, heavy eyelids opening to reveal strange white walls.

Am I dead?

But no: you hurt all over. Heaven isn’t supposed to hurt. There are needles pierced through the backs of your hands, a splitting rawness in your throat.

Was I intubated? Did I have surgery…?

You try to sit up. The pain is blinding; the severed and sutured latticework of your abdominal muscles is a pit of glass. You gasp, moan plaintively, fumble for the nurse call button on the wooden nightstand.

“Will you stop moving?” Aegon says as he walks into the room. He’s slurping on a straw that pokes out from a Dairy Queen cup. The fluid inside is clumpy and red. Instantly, you think of blood, and a wave of nausea punches through the shredded gore that was once your belly. Aegon flops down into the salmon pink armchair beside the bed and props his combat boots up on the ottoman. “They sliced you up like the Black Dahlia. You’re gonna rip your stitches.”

“They did a c-section…?”

“Yeah, you had some kind of uterus…thing. I don’t remember.”

The baby?? Is the baby alright?? “An abruption?”

More slurping. “No…I think it started with a P.”

“Previa?”

“Yeah, that one.”

You remember waking up a few times: on the kitchen floor as men were lifting you, in an ambulance as the siren shrieked. Someone said you were being taken to Mount Sinai in Manhattan. And that makes sense, that would have been Criston’s plan. Mount Sinai is one of the best hospitals in the country. You look around the room for a bassinet or a crib. Instead you see a wheelchair and a myriad of flower bouquets; word has already gotten out, and so the customary well wishes are pouring in. Lady Bird Johnson sent bluebonnets, the state flower of Texas; Abigail McCarthy sent lilies of the valley; Muriel Humphrey sent roses, traditional, safe, uninspiring; Pat Nixon sent blood orange gladioli. Mrs. Wallace, newly deceased, neglected to call a florist. “Where’s the baby?”

“He’s fine. He’s downstairs in an incubator.”

Ari, you think, though he still doesn’t seem real yet. “What…?”

“His lungs are underdeveloped. But the doctors think he’ll be alright. You want a Mr. Misty? There’s a Dairy Queen like two blocks from here.”

“No, I don’t want a Mr. Misty,” you say, incredulous. “I want to see the baby.”

“Well they can’t move him and they can’t move you, so you’ll have to wait.”

“I’m going to see him—” You swing your feet off the bed and feel daggers, fire, a splintering like someone has taken a hammer to your bones. You almost scream; it takes everything in you to choke it down and only gasp as your flesh becomes an inferno. I want a joint, you think randomly, an urge you’d believed you had exorcised from yourself, an archaic relic of a past life.

“Told you,” Aegon says smugly.

You lie panting, helpless, glancing at the phone on the nightstand. “Aemond knows?”

“Oh yeah, I’ve called everyone. He knows.”

“Good. So he’ll be here soon.”

“Sure,” Aegon says, perhaps a tad noncommittally.

“Okay.” You’re still trying to catch your breath. Tacoma is a six hour flight away. Even if Aemond doesn’t leave until morning, he’ll be here by sundown tomorrow. “You can go now.”

“Go?!” Aegon exclaims, then laughs, one of his reckless, taunting cackles. “Oh no. I’m not going anywhere.”

“You definitely are.”

“No, I’m not,” he insists, grinning. “For once in my life, I’m the person who’s exactly where he’s supposed to be. I’m the honorable one. The sacred heir of the favorite son has just been born, and the blessed mother has been sawed in half like Saint Simon the Zealot, and where is Aemond? Where is literally everyone else? Across the continent shaking hands and forcing smiles to win him the great state of Washington. I’m not going home. I’m collecting every second I spend here like coins from a slot machine. I won the jackpot, babe. No one is ever going to be able to call me the family fuckup after this.”

The pain is horrible, insurmountable; you can’t think through it. You close your eyes and try not to sob, to wail, to split yourself open in body and soul. I can’t let him see me break down.

“What’s up?” Aegon asks. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I want a Mr. Misty. Go get me a Mr. Misty.”

“Okay,” Aegon says doubtfully. “What flavor?”

“I don’t care. Not red.”

“They have orange, lemon-lime, grape—”

“Just pick one!” you shout, tears brimming in your eyes. Get out, get out, get out.

“Calm down, psycho!” he yells back, heading for the door.

As soon as he crosses the threshold, you snatch the call button off the nightstand and press it frantically until a nurse arrives. You get more morphine and sink into a stillness like deep water, down, down, down.

~~~~~~~~~~

It’s dark outside, stars and a crescent moon. On the television is grainy footage from the Battle of Khe Sanh. American soldiers younger than you are dragging their wounded brethren to a Chinook helicopter for evacuation: bandages, burns, missing limbs and faces. Aegon had dozed off in his chair—assisted by an ample amount of Vicodin, surely—but is stirring awake now. He blinks groggily at the screen.

“It’s so fucking awful,” you say, and Aegon’s eyebrows shoot up; it’s the first time you’ve ever sworn in front of him. You trained yourself to stop when you met Aemond. “30,000 Americans dead, God knows how many Vietnamese peasants, Buddhist monks setting themselves on fire, and for what? So we can say we did everything we could to stop communism? So we can humiliate the Russians? There is no liberation of Vietnam. All we’re doing is making those people hate us. And we’re destroying ourselves too.”

“I didn’t know you cared about the war.”

You look at him, mystified. “Everything I do is about the war.”

“But you never really talk about it.” Aegon yawns and stretches, reaching up towards the ceiling. “You talk about Chanel dresses and tea parties.”

“Well yeah, because it’s…it’s unseemly, I guess. For me to speak on the war. Me specifically.”

He snorts. “Because you’re a woman? Who told you that? Aemond?”

You hesitate, watching the television again. Now there are napalm bombs incinerating villages and rice paddies. “I had a boyfriend before Aemond, you know.”

“What, in kindergarten? Chasing each other around the playground? Illicit snuggles beneath the slide?”

You chuckle, shaking your head. “A real boyfriend.”

“No way. You did not.”

“I did,” you insist, smiling a little. “We met at a party my freshman year of college. He was at NYU studying…oh, I always forgot, that was one of our jokes. It was either archaeology or anthropology. I actually thought I was going to marry him for a minute there.”

“Scandalous.” Aegon is gazing at you with his murky blue eyes, grinning, playful. “What happened?”

“He had a moral crisis about poor kids getting shipped off to Vietnam to be slaughtered while he was tucked safely away in his ivory tower. So he enlisted, and honestly it was shocking how quickly I started to forget about him. We exchanged a few letters, it didn’t last long, I think he was forgetting about me too. But he ended up getting killed in action in October, 1965. His old roommate told me.”

Now Aegon is thoughtful. His crooked grin dies. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s his parents I feel bad for. He was an only child. I heard his father drank himself to death.”

“You’ve been carrying a story like that around with you and you never used it? Not in an interview or an article, not at one of your asinine little tea parties?”

“I can’t,” you confess. “Aemond doesn’t want me to. He doesn’t like to be reminded about…you know. That there was someone else before.”

Aegon throws his head back and cackles, combing his fingers through his disheveled blonde hair. “As if Aemond was a virgin when you met him.”

But it’s not the same. It isn’t to Aemond, and it wouldn’t be to the rest of the world either. It is your eternal disgrace. It is something you will be expected to atone for until you’re in the grave. “Give me a joint.”

Aegon is amazed. “What?”

“I know you have some, you always do. I want one. Give it to me.”

“You smoke grass?”

“I used to. Then I gave it up. But I’m making an exception.”

He gawks at you for a while, then slips a joint out of one of the front pockets of his green army jacket. He places it between his lips, lights it with his little chrome Zippo, and inhales deep and slow. Then he offers it to you.

“I don’t want herpes.”

Aegon laughs. “I don’t have herpes. I swear.”

“Not yet, maybe. Give it time.”

“Are you gonna smoke or not?”

You take the joint and fill your lungs with earth, floral notes, a tinge of spice. It’s been years, but it comes rushing back in an instant as the high hits your bloodstream: calm quiet weightlessness, a sense of wellbeing that fills the honeycomb hollows of your bones. “I need to see the baby.”

Aegon stalls. “The doctors were really insistent that you stay here.”

“And all the sudden you care about rules.”

He considers this, drumming his palms on his thighs. His jeans are ripped; he’s biting his lower lip. Then abruptly, he stands. “Alright.” He grabs the wheelchair and pushes it up against the bed. “Let’s go.”

You take another drag and then discard the joint in your empty Dairy Queen cup. You throw off your blanket and try to touch your bare feet to the cool linoleum floor. It hurts, it feels like razor blades, but you keep going. Then you remember you still have one IV in the back of your left hand. “Wait, how am I going to…?”

“You’re in luck. I am well-versed in needles.” Aegon holds out a palm. Nervously, you give him your hand. He peels off the medical tape, takes a moment to examine the vein, then slides out the needle so smoothly you don’t feel it at all; it barely even bleeds. He balls up a Kleenex from the box on your nightstand and secures it to the wound with the same strip of tape. “You’re welcome.”

“Junkie.” You try to lower yourself into the wheelchair and a yelp rips from your throat.

“Oh, this is pathetic,” Aegon says, but not quite unkindly. “Here.” He leans down in front of you. Too desperate to be prideful, you link your arms around the back of his neck. Aegon’s shaggy blonde hair tickles your cheek; his hands skim gingerly to settle on your waist, steadying you without too much pressure. He helps you into the wheelchair, where you collapse gasping and sweating bullets.

“If you ever mention this again, I will guillotine you.”

He winks. “Relax, little Io. I never kiss and tell.”

“I’d assume you’re usually too plastered to remember the details.”

“Be nice. I could roll you down a staircase.” But he doesn’t; he rolls you into the hallway instead.

The lights in the corridor are dim for night, for dreams. You see a few nurses shuttling in and out of other rooms from a distance, but none seem to notice you and Aegon. He steers the wheelchair into the elevator and you ride it down two floors, then cross another hallway and pass through a set of doors. There must be a dozen incubators, half of them occupied. The nurse on duty—currently cradling a tiny infant in her arms, a girl judging by the pink hat, and feeding her from a bottle of formula—gapes at you.

“Ma’am? You aren’t supposed to be—”

“Shut up,” Aegon tells her, and the nurse doesn’t say another word.

Aegon pushes the wheelchair down the line of incubators until you reach the one with a name card labelled Targaryen, Aristos Apollo. And there he is: unmistakably fragile, impossibly small, blue veins like a roadmap beneath translucent skin, tangled in tubes and wires. In his sleeping face you don’t see Aemond or even yourself, but rather an inexplicable familiarity. You feel like you’ve met him before. You feel like you’ve known him all your life.

You press your hand to the clear, domed wall of the incubator; shadows in the shape of your outstretched fingers fall over Ari’s face. “He’s real.”

“Of course he is.” Aegon is watching you; you can see him on the periphery of your vision, a blur of blonde hair and high cheekbones. When you turn to him, he immediately looks away.

“What?” you ask.

“Nothing.” But his voice is distracted, bewildered, like someone fumbling for a light switch in a dark room.

[da-birb-writes-sometimes]

One of Us is Guilty; Prologue

Eight people, nine rooms, seven weapons. One person is guilty, and until they are found, no one is safe; from the perpetrator of the crime, or of being accused.

Characters; Vil Schoenheit, Divus Crewel, Rook Hunt, Azul Ashengroto, Silver, Jade Leech, Cater Diamond

Content; Gender-neutral reader, unreliable narrators

Content Warning; Death (not described), murder (not described)

Word Count; 1.3 K (includes guide on how to participate at the end)

Find this content triggering but still want to participate? Go to this Google Form! <- form is now closed, thank you to the people who voted!

As a reminder, do not put my work — or others for that matter — into AI as it steals. Link to Masterlist

| Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Epilogue (Part 1) | Epilogue (Final)

You were making your way down the main flight of stairs, ready to go crawl into your bed after the long day.

“Attention! Attention!” Crowley’s voice echoed over the PA system, still annoyingly chipper despite the late hour. What was he even still doing here? “Due to the weather, all remaining staff and students are under orders to stay inside the building until morning!” And the PA system cut out.

You groaned, “Seriously? It can’t be that bad–” A loud crack of thunder sounded directly above the building, causing the chandelier to shake. “Okay then,” you huffed, plopping down on the stairs, “I get the message.”

Of course, you would get stuck here for the night, guess that’s what happens when you stay back to study and work on assignments.

But you weren’t the only person stuck in the desolate halls of Night Raven College; seven others were in the same boat as you.

…

Vil was in the lecture theatre, reviewing his notes for the upcoming performance that the Film Research Club would be putting on next week. He too heard Crowley’s announcement and pushed his hair back, massaging his temple. He would not be getting a good night’s rest tonight.

“Tch, no use lamenting over it,” he sighed to himself. Carefully, he put the notes and suggestions away in their designated folder, and he made his way to the main hall. If anyone was still here with him, they might be there; at least he would have some company for the night, and not be alone in the empty hallways.

…

Professor Crewel was grading papers in the teacher’s lounge, and getting a migraine from it as well. “Have those pups learned nothing from me,” he grumbled.

He would much rather be at home in his finest pyjamas, scratching the chins of his dogs, but no, he was stuck here, and would be stuck until the storm passed or Headmaster Crowley got back on the PA system saying it was safe to leave. But knowing his employer, the man had transported himself home, leaving everyone stuck at the college oblivious.

I ought to wring his neck if he did.

…

Rook was in the library, perusing through various books, just looking for something to pass the time. He knew earlier that day that a storm was brewing, he could tell by the clouds and the faint smell wafting on the breeze. He also knew that Vil would be staying late, and he wasn’t going to leave Roi de Poison alone.

After going down a few aisles, Rook finally found a book to his liking. “Hmm, this is new. Ah, how interesting!” Tucking the book under his arm, Rook made his way to the lecture theatre, as that was where he had last seen Vil.

Perhaps un meurtre mystère would make for a good plot for a future performance?

…

Silver had fallen asleep in the cafeteria, apparently he had slept for most of the day. He had only woken up because of Crowley’s voice echoing loudly in the large, empty room.

Did they not notice? Silver rubbed his eyes and yawned. If he was here, there was a possibility of others also finding themselves stuck in the school for the night. The least he could do was make sure others were staying calm, and staying safe. Even outside of his duties he was ever still the protector, and far too kind.

“Hopefully no one got hurt…” he murmured to himself. There was something off, a dark presence of sorts, and it wasn’t just the dark clouds hurling down rain, hail, and lightning outside.

Something doesn’t feel right…

…

Azul was in the alchemy lab, perfecting the most complicated potion that was in his textbook; he had a reputation to upkeep after all, and didn’t want anyone usurping his rank at the top of the class.

There, I just need to add some belladonna and— the suddenness of Crowley’s overly loud voice coming over the PA system caused Azul to add too much, and the potion evaporated. Azul gritted his teeth, but took a step back. Perhaps a walk would help calm him down… he was going to have to replace all of those ingredients tomorrow…

“So close,” he hissed, and he started making his way down the hall, still muttering to himself.

…

Jade was washing the dirt from his hands, having just come back from checking on his fungi in the botanical gardens. He already knew before Crowley made his little announcement that he would be spending the night, which didn’t bother him all that much. Perhaps he could see what was in the kitchen, since he did have that new dish which looked and sounded to be divine.

But that could wait, Azul was most likely still working on that potion of his, and knowing the house warden, he had fumbled with the ingredients at the sudden noise and probably sulking… and Jade could use some amusement at the moment, and a sulking and slightly peeved Azul would do the trick.

…

Cater was in the kitchen, retrieving something for Trey since they were all out in the Heartslabyul kitchen. Of course it was something sweet, but Cater would rather be here than see the outcome of the freshmans’ antics. Sorry freshies, you’re on your own!

But now he was stuck here for the night, and having nothing better to do, and boredom starting to creep in, Cater brought out his phone and started recording. 

“It’s Cay-kun here!~” He gave a peace sign to the camera and stuck out his tongue. “Let’s see who we can find!” And he started chatting to the camera and walking towards the main hall.

…

…

Eventually, everyone had made their way to the main hall; you, Silver, Vil, Professor Crewel, Rook, Azul, Jade, and Cater. But there was no sign of Headmaster Crowley.

“Have any of you pups seen the Headmaster,” Divus asked, turning up a brow, and looked at his students with suspicion.

Everyone shook their head no. Divus sighed, and turned around the corner, in the direction of the Headmaster’s office, but he stopped in his tracks.

Curious, you looked to where Professor Crewel was staring; lying in the middle of the floor was Crowley, and he wasn’t breathing.

Dire Crowley was dead, murdered. And everyone was a suspect, including you.

About this Event

That's right folks, a classic murder mystery in the style of the board game Clue and some inspiration from the book And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie.

At the beginning and end of each part, I will be including a link to a Google Form where people can vote for who they think is the murderer, what room the murder took place in, and the weapon that was used. There's also an optional question where you can explain your answer, just do know that everything was randomly chosen by a spinner.

The form will be active for at least 72 hours; it may go on for longer if I'm busy. A new form will be added with each part, just with the suspect, room, & weapon that was voted in the last part being removed if they were incorrect... and may take some inspo from the book I mentioned.~

In future parts there will be dark content, as this is a murder mystery; all of the content warnings will be included at the beginning, and also tagged (ie. cw death). Because of this, I will not be tagging people in future parts just as a precaution.

Now, let the investigation begin!

Link to Google Form

Suspects:

- Silver; the kindhearted knight with a mysterious past, is it just for show?  (Plum) - Vil Schoenheit; the actor who is always pigeonholed into the role of a villain (Scarlet) - Divus Crewel; the alchemy teacher with a penchant for fashion, Crowley's co-worker (Peacock) - Rook Hunt; the enigmatic hunter who always has a hunch of what's happening (Mustard) - Azul Ashengrotto; the owner of The Mostro Lounge, a businessman with dubious morals (Green) - Reader; the 'house-keeper', a role that was imposed on them by the late Headmage (White) - Jade Leech; a student enamored by fungi and seems to have a foreboding presence about him (Orchid) - Cater Diamond; the preppy beau of Heartslabyul, but his smile seems forced (Peach)

Rooms:

- Main hall - Teachers' lounge - Cafeteria - Kitchens - Lecture theatre - Botanical garden - Alchemy lab - Library - Crowley's office

Weapons:

- Revolver - Rope - Dagger - Wrench - Candlestick - Lead pipe - Magic

...

Tags; @afunkyfreshblog, @aqua-beam, @azulashengrottospiano, @eynnwwyjth, @hisui-dreamer, @hydra-sea, @identity-theft-101, @inkybloom-luv, @ithseem, @krenenbaker, @leonistic, @lucid-stories, @officialdaydreamer00, @ryker-writes, @savanaclaw1996, @silvers-numberonefan, @twistwonderlanddevotee, @xxoomiii

[aspiringsophrosyne]

Let's talk about Stream Ripley and TLOVM Ripley.

(Spoilers for Critical Role Campaign 1 and The Legend of Vox Machina Season 3 under the cut.)

What’s The Difference?

Stream Ripley has no extensive backstory or Freudian excuse. Instead, the woman’s actions and words paint the picture of a classic mad scientist. Her home empire did not support her ambitions, so she got pissy and aligned with fugitives from said empire to further her goals.

She’s an admitted supremacist; during her fight with Vox Machina, she tells Percy that they (humans) stand above the other races on their ingenuity. Percy does not grant this the dignity of a response.

As I mentioned here, TLOVM left out a detail from Ripley’s story: how she designed a black powder weapon when Percy invented them. In the show, it’s unclear, but in the stream, it’s explicit she copied his work.

Ripley and Percy

Since she couldn’t have devised it herself, stealing Percy’s idea ties him to her destruction. She unleashes the black powder weapons wherever possible, not just for her petty revenge and aspirations but because Orthax tells her it will drive Percy mad. And she's all about that.

In contrast, Percy doesn’t spread his invention beyond Whitestone but keeps a squad of riflemen to defend it. He understands having and using black powder weapons will lead to their propagation, but this never stops him. Percy knows the potential harm his creation could cause but stops right before he would take the steps to truly prevent it.

Stream Ripley is far more depraved than Percy, yet still reminiscent of him. That's what makes her effective. Two young people who became consumed with indiscriminate, destructive revenge after the death of their families? Sharing similarities? Not shocking. But Percy sharing similarities and a connection through their designs with a woman whose immense ego, pettiness, murderousness, carelessness, spite, callousness, and supremacism fuel her proliferation of such a dangerous stolen idea?

That is far juicier.

Ripley raises the question of how far Percy might fall. Is it possible for him to turn into her? Or something even worse? She stole his invention; he has far more destructive potential than she does.

How responsible is he for his ideas falling into her hand? How irresponsible was he for creating and using it? Someone was going to replicate his gun at some point, and he knew it.

According to Taliesin, for Percy, it was inevitable. The question was never if but when.

Consistency

This is the narrative advantage of making an antagonistic foil simple and wicked. But there’s a practical advantage as well. If Ripley’s just fantasy Elon Musk, she doesn’t need extra exposition. She’s characterized; we’re done. There are no questions about her backstory or her motivations that need answering.

But TLOVM’s flashback to her past raises questions.

For stream watchers, did Delilah help raze Ripley’s home with the other Assembly members? If so, did Ripley know? Did Ripley know and not care? Was Ripley even aware Delilah was ex-Assembly? Was Delilah even a member of the Assembly in TLOVM’s canon?

For show-only watchers, how exactly did a woman who supposedly wants to make it easier for the common folk to fight back against wizards wind up torturing children in the employ of a wizard? While there are potential reasons and explanations, none are provided.

That flashback introduced wrinkles to the story with those unanswered questions. Keeping this villain simple would have kept her more consistent.

It's possible to make a complex, complicated villain with contradictory motivations...but Ripley didn't have the right set-up for that, and S3 didn't have the time to put all of her new, disparate pieces together into a cohesive whole.

And in her case, why would you want to? It robs her of her efficacy and wastes time the show doesn't have.

And yeah, keeping this villain simple wouldn't have just tightened up the plot and her character, it would've saved precious time.

Time

Because putting the wrinkles aside, what do we get from this flashback? What do we get from dragging Ripley's defeat out? Admittedly, the fight on the boat was well-made, and we get a sneak peek of the Cerberus Assembly, but neither was worth giving up the group kill Ripley earned in the stream. Nor was it worth the time that could’ve been saved ending her life an episode earlier.

Keeping Ripley simple does not just make her a better villain who serves Percy’s characterization by being his dark reflection. It doesn’t just make it easier to keep her story consistent. It saves time. And for an adaptation of Vox Machina’s story, time is paramount. There are seven protagonists and a ton of plot to get through; TLOVM can't afford to waste a second.

[cosmerelists]

Cosmere Characters: What's Your Favorite Romance Book to Read/Listen To?

As requested by @cosmereplay :)

To be honest, I'm not sure if I'm quite doing what cosmereplay was envisioning, but this is what I got! :) This is in honor of Ardent Ellista, whom we see reading An Accountability of Virtue, which seems to be a courtly love-triangle epic romance tale. So what type of romance books do other Cosmere characters enjoy?

1. Vivenna

Vivenna: My favorite romance growing up was All the Colors of the Heart, about a princess betrothed from birth to this prince. And although she was scared, she was determined to make the best of it. Vivenna: Then it turned out he was very evil so she killed him and took over his kingdom and married his super hot, non-evil sister. Vivenna: As a young girl, I read that book over and over and over again... Susebron: H-Ha, it's so nice to meet your family, Siri...

2. Siri

Siri: Well, I always liked Dusk, about a girl who had to choose between the love of a frightening but alluring Returned who had to steal breath to live and a wolf man. Vivenna: Ugh, so unrealistic though. Why would a Returned who was thousands of years old want to hang out with a teenage girl anyway? Vasher: Sometimes she just insists on tagging along and won't stop. Vivenna: HEY

3. Adolin

Adolin: Look, An Accountability of Virtue is popular for a reason. Adolin: It has everything! Balls! Fancy clothing! Pining! Adolin: And of course, a happy ending. Adolin: Personally, I think I'm quite the Sterling. Shallan: You are. Adolin: Yessssss.

5. Moash

Moash: I like pretty much anything that's lovers to enemies. Leshwi: ... Leshwi: You mean enemies to lovers? Moash: Don't be ridiculous.

6. Painter

Painter: I like a good gothic romance. Painter: Two twisted people, scorned by society, finding a dark and bitter love in each other... Painter: Always ends tragically... Painter: That's the good stuff for a dark soul like mine. Yumi: Really? Because the book on your nightstand is... Painter: I'M HOLDING MAID CAFE LOVE FOR A FRIEND

7. Raboniel

Raboniel: The Fused have a tale about two of our kind who were soulmates. Raboniel: But they could never find a way to be together. Raboniel: One would be reborn while the other still remained on Braize. Raboniel: The one would escape only for the other to be killed within their very sight. Navani: .... Navani: And that's your, uh, favorite romance? Raboniel: All of our stories are like that.

8. Dieno

Dieno: Silly and poorly written it may be, but it's Fifty Lengths of Chain for me. Jasnah: ...Is that really a romance, though? The cover art is just...shackles. Dieno: Romance comes in many forms.

9. Steris

Steris: Well, as embarrassing as this may be to admit... I have always been a big fan of bodice-rippers. Wax: ... Wax: So, uh, we never negotiated about role-play, but... Steris: I'LL GET MY SPECIALLY DESIGNED RIPPABLE BODICE

10. Dalinar

Dalinar: My favorite romance is of course the story of me and Navani. Navani: Awww! Dalinar: But my second favorite romance is the explicit self-insert fanfiction I wrote about myself and Nohadon. Navani: ... Navani: You just learned to write. Dalinar: The world needed to know.

[legendary-lunatic]

Okay, So I just finished binge watching all four Despicable Mes in one day, and I gotta say that I did not care for the fourth movie.

It was disappointing… which is a shame, because Maxime Le Mal is awesome.

The concept of a cockroach villain, is epic. He had a great character design, a fun personality, and he had past conflict with Gru.

The problem with the fourth movie is that it is not plot driven enough and instead keeps splicing screen time for family fluff moments and side characters like Poppy.

Poppy, as much as I thought she was a fun presence, was NOT needed in the movie, and neither was all of that Safe House Country Club shit. Why would they go out of their way to say ‘Hey Gru? Let’s stop acting like the grumpy protagonist we love and instead behave completely out of character so you can pretend you like playing tennis.’ It was unnecessary and not what we needed from a character we have grown to find charming because of the way he can be both kind and a grumpy asshole. (Like Shrek.) Shrek does not belong at a country club, and neither does Gru.

We introduce a villain school that Gru went to only to not only completely avoid talking about him or the school in that context, but bring it up again solely for an irrelevant character who overall contributes nothing the the story at hand.

All of the other films in some way had a proactivity to them that kept the main antagonist in mind, and this film does not work because they keep shoving Maxime to the side. They should have completely scrapped all the minion fantastic four hero parody crap and stayed focused on the overall narrative and developing the new central antagonist.

It would have been fantastic if we had gotten more background on the conflict between Gru and Maxime. Apparently they had a little rivalry or just generally were jerks to each other in school as we find out that not only did Gru steal his song, Maxime pantsd him in front of the school, not to mention how they interacted in the beginning of the film, so clearly there is bad blood. This is the first villain that had conflict with Gru specifically, and it would have been an excellent central plot point to focus on his early life, or a great way to develop a villain that’s built out of personal grudge rather than inherently destructive ambition like the others.

And instead that was SQUANDERED by this absolutely directionless travesty. Maxime’s girlfriend, first of all, was useless and distracting. All the little cutaway moments and side stories were unnecessary, and overall it was incredibly disappointing to have a guy that can CONTROL COCKROACHES do absolutely nothing with them. He could be strong and invulnerable, He could have been mutating more people, controlling swarms, he could have been going after Gru more intensely and talking about how they bullied each other and that could have been very interesting.

But no. This is the only film in which the main antagonist takes such a back seat that he can effectively be cut from the film and it would hardly impact a thing. Maxime had potential and stage presence, and they did nothing with it in favor of fluff.

And Listen, LISTEN, fluff isn’t bad, I love their family- but it should not comprise 98% of the film!!! It should be wedged into little moments between plot points. Even Despicable Me 3, which had a bizarre out of left field twin plot, handled their villain with more respect and managed to tie in the two narratives in a way that culminated in a final act that was satisfying to all the characters.

Brat had charisma and was a genuine threat and was present enough in the story that he was still necessary to the story overall because he and his diamond were the reason Gru lost his job and he and his brother did the heist to retrieve it. By the end of the first half of the film we knew that Brat was a washed up star that peaked in his childhood and was trapped in his nostalgia, and he had a fully fleshed out motivation and draw to him despite being rather simple that allowed us to indulge in his quirks. His pathetic nostalgic personality CARRIES that film because it’s funny and endearing and believable because we’ve all met someone like that.

But Maxime is not such a simple character by design because his motivations are relationship focused- and in this film they spend most of the time running away from Maxime, which is counter intuitive and lets us understand absolutely nothing about the guy. Because they didn’t delve deeper, Le Mal’s motivations were weak, and thus the overall STORY was weak. We don’t even know why he has such an intense hyper fixation on cockroaches that he would literally roachify himself and make that his central theme!!!

Why didn’t Lucy and the kids go to the safe house and Gru could stay to deal with his rival? It doesn’t make sense!!! And the AVL was doing nothing about the threat at all and instead was being ridiculous by giving the minions super powers? Ineptitude to the point of absurdity. What is the point of going to a safe house if they aren’t trying to resolve the issue and then Gru does it anyway?!!!!

Brain dead. Disappointing. On every level.

They didn’t even resolve the personal conflicts the girls were having, what with Margo having trouble at school and Agnes not liking telling lies! What was the point?!

The animation may have been pretty, but the plot was weak. The character motivations were weak because they didn’t expand on them. There were thousands of directions they could have gone with this film and they chose to go NOWHERE.

The best part of the film is the end, and only because we got to see Maxime be relevant for three minutes and it implies that they’ve managed to wrap up their implied but borderline nonexistent rivalry. And we got two seconds of Brat dancing way too over sensually to ‘Rule the World’ because it’s an 80s song (the power of character consistency)

I don’t like hearing ‘ItS JuSt a KiDs FiLm’- NO. Pandering to children is not an excuse for bad writing in family media, and this franchise has been out long enough that it has an audience larger than just kids. Kids media and family media deserve better and should still have good narrative standards. Do not insult our intelligence by giving us content without purpose. It costs millions of dollars and months upon years to make a film nowadays, there is no excuse for not sitting down and coming up with a decent story direction and cohesive plan. A family film can be enjoyable for little ones and still have depth to it-

Family movies have been getting insanely messy lately with their story content because they think seeing characters we like regurgitated at us with good animation is enough to keep the company afloat and appease everyone, and it’s irritating. Dig deeper, have some respect for your craft. Keep our expectations high to keep us coming back!

I love the Despicable Me world and characters, but honestly this was such a disjointed film that it was almost hard to enjoy because I just kept waiting for something, anything to happen, and was utterly let down.

Maxime Le Mal deserved better as a villain, and this film deserved better. This franchise deserved better. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

[minjeungsno1fan]

Hm. I feel like talking about Nico.

(Spoilers)

Nico is a character that, despite their fairly dark-coloured design, is covered in shades of grey. There is no one determined way to view what transpired between them and Ace and it mostly comes down to the viewer’s own personal experience.

You could view the events of 2-6 through a sympathetic lens, which would portray Nico as a victim of bullying and forced outing who was pushed to their boiling point (there were more people involved in the outing than just Ace, but he was the one who started it).

You could view the events through a critical lens, which portrays Nico as cunning and downright manipulative, taking advantage of Rose’s kindness in order to steal something that would be used in their plan to take a human life.

Or you could view them entirely differently. There are endless ways to explain and attempt to justify both Nico and Ace’s actions up to and including this encounter.

I’m not making this post to sit and tell you what to think about Nico’s attempted murder, but I am going to remind you of a similar case that was viewed very differently by the DRDT community.

A case where the perpetrator also attempted to take a human life. A case where the perpetrator exploited someone’s trauma to get away with it. A case where the perpetrator was more than willing to kill again if it meant they wouldn’t have any witnesses.

Enter Alexander Matthews, DRDT’s first attempted murderer.

Now, there are far too many nuances for me to even begin to analyse this case in a post about Nico, so I’ll sum up what I said before.

Xander took advantage of Teruko’s trust in order to attack her. That is an objective fact, regardless of his motive or feelings about doing it.

Xander exploited Charles’ trauma and phobia of blood to frame him for the crime. That is also an objective fact.

Xander was 100% ready to kill Min when she walked into the computer lab. That is, once again, an objective fact about this case.

Now, what about Nico? What did they do in these same situations?

Ace doesn’t trust anybody. Nico couldn’t take advantage of Ace’s trust because he didn’t trust them like, ever.

Nico did not exploit somebody’s trauma to commit their crime. They did take advantage of Rose’s kindness and her offer to help them paint, but that is far less severe than intentionally triggering somebody into a mental breakdown.

And finally, you know what Nico did when witnesses walked into the gym?

They ran away. They didn’t plan to hurt anyone else and when Teruko and Eden found them they were so scared that they fled.

Now, as I said before, these cases are nuanced and detailed and are painted in so many different shades of grey you could write a book about it.

The reason I brought up Xander was to point out the way people reacted to his attempt on Teruko’s life in comparison to Nico’s attempt on Ace’s.

People love Xander. He’s one of the most popular characters. In fact, he’s even won quite a few popularity polls on some other sites. As a result, a lot more people sympathise with him and view his plan as something he was manipulated into doing. I’ve seen some people so adamant to defend this view that they’ll completely mischaracterise him and take away everything that makes him an interesting and realistic character.

On the other hand, I can count the number of people I know who love Nico and have them as a favourite (as in top 3 at least) on one hand. This leads to less people taking the time to understand their character and coming to conclusions about this case based on an incredibly vague idea of who they are. (Of course, we are on chapter two, so we know hardly anything about anybody right now, but still).

As I said at the start, there is no right or wrong way to view and understand what happened between Nico and Ace and the fact remains that Nico attempted to commit murder. I am not trying to alleviate them of the blame for that crime.

What I am trying to do is show how it’s… a little ridiculous that some people have so much love and sympathy for Xander and have absolutely none for Nico. Would they be more sympathised with if Teruko or Eden had killed them in the gym that night like Min did to Xander? Are they less deserving of sympathy simply for the crime of being alive?

I think a lot of the talk surrounding Nico’s attempted murder stems from the fact that they are not what a lot of people think a bullying victim should be. Sure, they’re fragile and timid, but they’re also capable of standing up for themselves in a way it’s hard to perceive the “ideal victim of bullying”* being capable of.

(*This does not imply that Nico isn’t a victim. They are. They just aren’t the “lie down and take it” victim that has such a heavy influence on opinions regarding cases like theirs.)

Ace is not a schoolyard bully. Ace is someone who makes threats and has the physical capacity to act on them. Trying to apply the picturesque dynamic of what bullying stories should be to him and Nico doesn’t work because these two are not children in a playground hurling insults at each other, they’re grown adults in a situation where they’re not only allowed to but encouraged to commit murder.

Nico was handed a way to stop the constant harassment on a silver platter. Weapons that are available at their fingertips, chemicals that could be used to render their bully unconscious, and numerous locations that would be perfect for committing murder.

Returning to the comparison of this attempt and Xander’s, Nico did not think of the consequences for their actions, but Xander actively prepared for them.

Okay I’m starting to truly ramble so I’ll start to conclude this… really long essay that’s probably 90% waffling.

I think Nico deserves to be viewed in the same if not a more sympathetic lens than Xander. They committed a crime caused by being pushed to their absolute limit by constant harassment and bullying and being outed and the only people who were truly defending them treated them like a child.

Nico had nobody truly in their corner throughout chapter one and the first half of chapter two part one. Whereas Xander, the beloved and sympathetic attempted murderer, had quite literally the entire cast on his side even after what he did was spelled out by Teruko in the trial.

[cheerleaderman]

🏴‍☠️Hop on board and come down to Never-Cove🏴‍☠️

This is based off the hometown event I made for my Oc Fallon

About Never-Cove

Captain Hook is called the Great captain. Never-cove would have a statue of him in the town square. It’s very beach town like with many ports. It’s a melting pot of different cultures and has welcoming atmosphere with many people coming and going.Some of the best ships known to sail came from Never-Cove itself founded and built up by sailors and pirates.Fishing,Shipping,boat construction/repair and cruises are the main industries there.Never-cove has a good relationship with merfolks and rumored to have fairies around.

Summary:

Never-Cove’s annual event celebrating the Great Captain has come. Come grab your crew to participate in tasks to win the title of best Pirate crew and even the surprise treasure.If not come and enjoy the festivities, explore a real pirate ship, dance and sing along to old songs and more!

For the participants you must form a group of no more than 8 people and appoint someone who be the crew’s captain also their first mate but be warned if you don’t take care of your crew they could overthrow you.It’s important to pick someone who is going to lead you to victory.

Luckily Fallon has invited others at NRC to to come join the crew - Floyd Leech, Azul Ashengrotto, Ruggie Bucchi ,Jamil Viper and of course Grim and Yuu/MC

There are 2 events that are held with a scenario (optional)

Pirate Ship

Your Crew will be staying on a pirate ship for 3 days.The crew will be completing tasks like fishing, maintaining the ship etc earning points on teamwork and proficiency,on the 3 day you’ll be able to sail out into a certain area having to navigate your way to a destination marked on a provided map. Once you get to your destination you’ll have to use clues around to find treasure and bring it back safely

Scenario (optional)

On the 3rd day when everyone was getting ready to sail a rival group decided to do some sabotaging. Once the your ship was ready to sail all of a sudden it jets out the port at full speed. Once everything has settled everyone realizes that your in the middle of the ocean with no connection. Now the crew needs to use their skills to get back to mainland

Treasure hunt 

For the young ones and people who prefer land can join the treasure hunt. You’ll will be finding 3 different treasures over the course of 3 days. You’ll will have to navigate through finding clues,puzzles and obstacles to get to your treasures and will need to protect it since other Crews will try and steal your treasures. There is one main treasure you need to protect so be careful if someone plants bait to trick others. The Crews who still have their 3 main treasure gets to go to the last round where all teams are going a one item . Whoever brings it back wins

Kids don’t steal from each other and would be around town square or the beach

Scenario (optional)

On the final round facing off against a rival team someone used magic and teleported your crew to some unknown place with fairies? Checking in on everyone you realize that you still have the treasure to win but how will you get back? Will you try to get the fairies to help or will the crew do it on their own?

Rules of the event

Anyone can participate! Ocs,sonas to other canon characters-Feel free to draw, write fics, make edits etc.

keep it PG-13

Use the hashtag #NeverCovePirates also make sure to tag me because I’ll love to see it

There’s no deadline

Outfits

The people of Never-Cove dress up in Pirate themed/inspired for this event, participants must look the part

Captains- must have a hat

Crew members - needs to have some kind of fabric visible around their upper body- A bow , head band, bandanna etc

Draft designs

Background:

Canon characters entry:

Floyd Leech - Azul Ashengrotto - Ruggie Bucchi - Jamil Viper -

Ace Trappola - @spade-12

Oc entry

Captains:

Fallon Hook - Me

Crew members

Iris Valor - Me

Constance - @theolivetree123

Carla Coquille - @the-rini-rush

Yuya Florence - Me

Donatello kaur - @readsrandomstuff67

Flori Mohn-Prinz - @bunniehunn

Fan Art

Pirate tsum Jamil - me

Pirate Crew participants - @spade-12

[fancybendy]

✧𝒲𝑒𝓁𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝓉𝓊𝒹𝒾𝑜✧

Welcome! Stating now this Blog has 3 AUs First - Elegance in Fancy Ink (This AU is based on the Fashion designer and Actor Fancy - Formally known as Bendy) Characters Available for asks: Fancy, Alice, Bo(Boris) Second - Escape the Studio (This AU is based on the Ink world coming into our own - turning people into toons and the world cartoony with the help of the Ink Demon under the name of Sin with the nephew of Joey Drew, Nathan Drew) -This AU does not connect with Beyond the Studio but not until later in the future- Characters Available for asks: Sin, Nathan, Beast(????) Third - Beyond the Studio (This AU is based on a play off of the second AU but Nathan had attempted to escape from Sin and the world he knew and ended up in a completely different world unable to get back and he is taller) -This AU connects with Elegance in Fancy Ink- Characters Available for asks: Nathan and Wane

ASK/QUESTIONS RULES

The ask box is currently Open but please read the rules below before continuing to send in an ask!

Rules:

Please be respectful to the characters, AUs, and stories, even if they don't line up with your ideas. (There is no need to be rude?)

Anonymous asks are welcome and should be turned on!

You are allowed to interact with my characters but please make sure to submit a reference to said character! (I may draw them!)

Do not harm any characters unless we talked about the possibility!

Please do not force a relationship on my characters, none of them are looking for a relationship, even then it will be only open to mutuals.

Please do not force yourself/your character onto my characters i.e Kissing, hugging, or cuddling unless we are mutuals(follow each other) - Nathan is open for hugs from anyone / Fancy will sanitize you if you try -

If you ask Fancy to judge your outfit then that is on you and the mod holds no responsibility for his blunt responses if he doesn't like it. (This will not be based on mods opinion but as a character who is pretty stuck up)

18+ Asks are welcome but not graphic, if they get to the point of...nsfw, they will be deleted

DO NOT SPAM MY INBOX IF I DO NOT GET TO YOUR ASK (this is a fun blog and I will get to it)

DO NOT STEAL, TRACE OR REPOST MY ART.

That's it! Thank you all for reading! and good luck!

[nightsetter]

Aubrey Plaza movie & show reviews

i know i'm not the only one obsessed with aubrey rn so i thought i'd rank some of her stuff that i've seen and indicate whether her character is gay or not to help people decide what to watch. i'll keep adding to it and hope others will add their recommendations too!!

starting with the most recent:

1. Agatha All Along (2024 series) - Gay - 10/10 obviously it's why we're all here haha.

2. Megalopolis (2024 drama) - Not gay - worst movie i've ever seen in my life lmao. however you get the incomparable experience of watching a bitchy blonde aubrey plaza sit on a dude's face so. also all her outfits are incredible??? 0/10 don't bother watching, aubrey is only in a few scenes so just skip around to find those.

3. My Old Ass (2024 drama/comedy) - Gay - 10/10 watch this asap! i laughed i cried, like in the best way. aubrey is only in a couple scenes, a longer one kinda towards the beginning and then a short one at the end, she also does voiceovers throughout. her character is bisexual and the focus is a mlw relationship. she's fantastic in it and the whole movie is excellent, loved maisy stella too and their chemistry together.

4. Operation Fortune (2023 spy thriller) - Not gay - action movies aren't usually my thing but aubrey plays the role of a sexy hacker spy like she was born for it and i loved every second haha. i wish the script had lived up to her potential but it was still a fun watch. 8/10 for that one gold dress ALONE

5. Emily the Criminal (2022 drama) - Not gay - 10000/10 HIGHLY RECOMMEND my personal favorite so far!!! Aubrey co-produced and she plays the main character. when i tell you this woman had me ACTINGG UPPPPPP in this sweet mother of all that is holy- she looks so good in every scene and it's genuinely great start to finish. boyfriend aubrey plaza save me 🙏

6. Spin Me Round (2022 black comedy) - Gay - ok so this movie is batshit but there's a truly incredible makeout scene with alison brie's character... aubrey is only there for like 1/3 of the movie but she steals every scene and looks soooo good in it, amazing costume design. i'll give it a 6/10 for that and her chemistry with alison.

7. Best Sellers (2021 drama) - Not gay - i loved this one!! aubrey's talent and range blew me away, and it's a heartfelt story. she stars as a publishing company heiress who develops a father-daughter bond with an old cranky author. definitely up there with emily the criminal & black bear as some of her best work. 9/10

8. The White Lotus (2021-ongoing series) - Not gay - aubrey stars in season 2, which you can jump right into if you want because each season is a stand-alone story. i enjoyed s1 as a satire about different types of social privilege, s2 was way less interesting and i found myself just waiting for the next time aubrey was on screen lol. but she's amazing in a dramatic role and wears so many bikinis lord forgive meee- 7/10 overall.

9. Happiest Season (2020 rom com) - Gay - everyone has seen this, but aubrey plaza and kristen stewart in the same movie is WAY too powerful i think i blacked out at one point. alison brie is great too. 8/10 minus a couple because of the stupid ending and idk its a lil cheesy haha.

10. Black Bear (2020 drama) - Not gay - another one that she co-produced and starred in. ill be honest it was too straight for me to really enjoy lmao. its a meta dive into the indie film industry that went over my head at times but it's thought-provoking and clearly very personal to aubrey's life and career, especially how she works so closely with her husband. she is insanely insanely hot in it and really showcases her talent so ill give it a 7/10.

11. Child's Play (2019 slasher) - Not gay - tbh i thought this movie was hilarious loll. aubrey stars as the mom, i wish there'd been more of a focus on her, it's more from the son's perspective but she's awesome in it and it's cool to see her in a different type of role. 6/10 it was fun as far as horror movies go. tw for gore

12. An Evening With Beverly Luff Linn (2018 comedy) - Not gay - i dont even know what to say about this one dlkjfdl. 1/10 aubrey is the only good part.

13. The Little Hours (2017 black comedy) - Gay - bro this one is a RIDE... aubrey plaza as a crazy heretical nun is one of the funniest things i've everrrr seen. she co-produced and stars in it again with alison brie. hilarious movie for its target audience (me), aubrey kisses 2 women and there's one scene in particular that uhh 🥵 well. no sorry i mustn't say. 11/10 movie (in my very subjective opinion loll). tw for sexual assault.

14. Ingrid Goes West (2017 black comedy) - Not gay - she co-produced and stars in this opposite elizabeth olsen. aubrey is always at home playing freakish characters and the movie is pretty entertaining. i was disappointed by the glaring lack of gay subtext haha but ill give it a 7/10. tw for attempted suicide.

15. Legion (2017-2019 series) - Gay - this show was so boring but i guess kinda interesting sometimes? haha she appears in most episodes only briefly and unfortunately this has to be the hottest character she's ever played, she's sooo in her element just being totally unhinged. her best eps are 1x06, 2x05 (😳), second half of 2x09 (hooks up with a girl), honorable mention to 2x10/11 bc she's only in a couple scenes but looks so good. season 3 she gets a little more consistent screen time dressed like a hippie if you can imagine, also somehow gets a woman pregnant? LOL idk i lost the plot at some point... good luck if you decide to watch (you definitely should). 4/10 tw for sexual assault and suicide.

16. Addicted to Fresno (2015 black comedy/rom com) - Gay - aubrey plays the love interest to natasha lyonne's character in this. she's only in a handful of scenes and i love natasha but their chemistry wasnt great imo. it's fun tho and has a happy ending, there's one cute kiss at the end. plus sweaty gym clothes 😶 i'll give it a 5/10.

17. Ned Rifle (2014 drama) - Not gay - i must be crazy for actually liking this movie kdfjd. kinda funny, very weird/disturbing, like an indie cult vibe. it's the 3rd film in a trilogy so you'll have to read summaries of the first 2 to follow what's going on. aubrey plays a starring role and her character does have an unsettling storyline but she's still soo fineeee and talented in it ugh. 5/10 its for a certain audience lmao, you'll either like it or hate it. tw for suicide and themes about sexual grooming.

18. The To Do List (2013 comedy) - Not gay - i probably would have liked this more when i was in high school haha but it's still pretty funny. she plays the nerdy main character experimenting with sex for the first time, so. a lot of what would you would expect with that 😭 god is real that's all i can tell you, 7/10

19. Parks and Recreation (2009-2015 series) - Not gay - this is the one she's famous for of course but for anyone who hasn't seen it, she gets a decent amount of screen time in an ensemble cast playing an adorably chaotic intern. 8/10 recommend if you're looking for a half hour sitcom, it's a great time :)

20. Criminal Minds (2005-ongoing series) - Gay - i only watched 4 episodes so can't speak on the quality of the show as a whole but i loved her soo much in it. she plays a femme fatale hitwoman which is the perfect aubrey role lmao. there are mentions of her relationships with women, but the focus is on her interest in a guy. She stars in 11x11, 12x22, and 15x6. also makes a brief appearance at the end of 12x21. 8/10 no complaints, totally worth watching for her.

i hope this is helpful to someone and please add more reviews if you'd like!

[raedshadowlegends]

Hashbrown Motel Sinners

Omg hey it's been a while... I'm back with funny guys and some lore! I've been spending some time figuring out who the sinners were when they were alive and why there were damned to hell!

I hope you enjoy the lore of these bizarre little freaks. Spangle Dust - In his life, our good friend Spangle Dust was a b tier drag queen! He was popular at one point in time but not anymore. He stopped getting roles and interviews and he became this washed up has-been (lol). He got damned to hell during an incident where he got cancelled on Twitter dot com for saying some deplorable shit. Worst part is, he meant it. Now he's stuck here in hell forever as an unlikeable parasite.

Vaggie - When she was alive, Vaggie was a horrible entitled millennial who scammed people via mlm. Picture the most entitled white woman mlm scheme ever and that's what Vaggie was like. She scammed people out of their money by sweet talking them. Deplorable. Now she is stuck in hell where her ability to speak has been taken. Now she can only squeak and she will never sell anymore leggings ever again :[ She is very sad about it.

Pentious - He was literally a snake oil salesman. Like Vaggie, he got a big kick out of scamming people! But this time with physical products that didn't do anything! He'd sell magical potions that were supposed to fix someone's marriage but all it did was give you indigestion. He's a fraud! And a phony! And now he's forced to be a whiny little noodle boy with no arms forever!!!!!!!!!!!

Husk - He was the worst landlord of all time. He. Absolute, total scumbag. When his tenants were away, he'd break into their homes and go through all their things. Sometimes he'd steal shit, other time's he'd sit on their couch and watch tv. And sometimes he'd artificially inflate his tenants power bill so they'd give him more money. He is the worst guy on planet earth. And he did it all because he thought it was fun. Now he's in hell as a stupid ass cat and he'll never get to be a landlord ever again.

Nifty - Nifty is Jake Paul. She was a hype-bro kind of toxic horrible grind-tuber who was obsessed with getting those clicks. She'd do some crazy, highkey illegal shit to get those views. She'd very frequently get herself into controversies where she'd have to make a disingenuous apology video and then go right back to being awful. She was a cockroach on the internet but now she's dead and a cockroach in hell.

Alastor - As for our scary spooky deer boy. He was a radio host who loved lying! He loved lying pathologically, he loved lying through his teeth, and he loved lying on his federal tax forms. And now he's dead and in hell as this weird little freak. He saw this as an opportunity to lie some more and now he hosts radio broadcasts where he "massacres hundreds of people with his scary radio powers." But in reality he's sitting in his studio making sound effects with his ugly deer mouth.

And those are our main characters!! (minus Charles but she's not apart of this). Cancelled, MLM, Liar (loser), Landlord, Jake Paul, and Liar (cool).

I hope y'all enjoy these takes on the HH dudes. I for one am obsessed with them. I've got more designs coming soon and Im starting to plan out the first few episodes!!! (it's gonna be a comic strip like Garfield mwahahahah) Until next time!! <3

[poxivix]

RULES FOR THIS ACCOUNT!!

(IMPORTANT, Especially to those who are wondering what my account is about or what I do)

Just wanted to put up some rules for this account INCASE you are at the wrong page. Some rules may relate to content that I HAVENT posted YET, but even so I still will put them up.

1] - No ages under 13 or 15. Due to this, my content may be either slightly suggestive, venty (I may vent/rant sometimes in the future, but they're not full on), body horror possibly, gorey and violent. Or! I tend to cuss/swear a lot aswell. Ofc, those who still wanna see me post can stay, but PLEASE, if you're uncomfortable with any of those topics, I suggest you unfollow, or if it makes you comfortable, block me so that you won't come across my posts again.

2] - Do NOT repost my videos/art without crediting me, ESPECIALLY if your intentions are stealing my work that IVE created. AND DO NOT TRACE, STEAL, ANY TYPE OF SHIT LIKE THAT! I love you all that appreciate my art, tysm, just plz don't go around stealing my stuff. This includes my ocs, possibly designs?? (if u think they're good enough lol), art dumps, and animations.

3] - I'd appreciate it if this account was drama free; arguing, harassment, spamming, racism, threats and homophobic topics. I don't wanna see any sort of such on my posts, asking box, or so on. One thing I also wanna say is that opinions are OBVIOUSLY welcome here, and I respect everyone for even having one. But PLEASE!! If your opinions have intentions on hurting others and possibly me, then I'd rather drench myself in oil and light my body on fire rather than seeing it. Respectfully, just please avoid PURPOSELY annoying ANYONE on this account, take your dramas away from me I'm not your therapist. AND PEOPLE!! On a side not, respect others opinions please, not everyone has to agree with you :(

4] - Please just let me do what I wanna do. This rule is probably the only rule I ATLEAST want you to follow: leave me be. Do not ask me to change my art style, do not tell me what I should and should not post, do not hate me for drawing things you don't feel appealed to, I do what keeps me sane. Suggestions such as improvement? I might not be comfortable with it, but no hate at all to those who just wanna give constructive criticism in a good way. I appreciate it a lot, but maybe my sensitive lil ahh won't be able to take it since yeah, I love how I draw cuz it's my own artstyle (Inspired by others ofc)

Feedback on my art is okay, but please base it around my hyperfixations. What I mean by that is if I just so happen to mischaracterize a specific character or something like that, you can inform me otherwise. But please be respectful about it instead of going like " [INSERT CHARACTER] DOESNT DO THAT!" or "Girl have you not watched the series/show or smt 💀", I'm not aware of my own actions sometimes 😞

5] - Don't ask me to be your friend when you've just so happened to cross my account. I've been a bit too nice in the past and just accepted random strangers friend requests w/o even getting to know them. But even so, those people turned out to be amazing. Please just don't ask me to be your friend either because I'm your idol or you just assume/ think im a cool person. Getting to know each other is WAY better so please, I'd appreciate it a lot🙏

And even if I still dont wanna be your friend, dont take it the wrong way please. It's either because I still don't feel comfortable, I don't feel like it, or I just don't want to in general. Please be respectful, thank you.

6] - I'm talking too much but please bare with me. NO PROSHIPS/PEDOS/FETISHISM PLZ!!

I dont think I even need to explain this even further, apart from DO NOT get ANY of my oc's/characters, or even ME, involved with your proshipping shit. OR EVEN BETTER, DO NOT DO ANY OF THE ABOVE AT ALL WHEN YOURE AROUND ME!! It's concerning, I'm uncomfortable with it, and I do not wish to be a part of any shit like that.

7] - Requests? They are accepted here! But please base the requests around my hyperfixations, they're the only motivation I got. And on my ocs? Definitely will do cuz yeah.

I dont take requests that involve drawing your ocs on command, drawing fandoms I'm not even in, and fetish art cuz why tf...

Call me a pussy for this but breaking any of these rules on this blog will get you an instant block, or maybe just a warning BEFORE I block you.

THATS ALL FORNOW!!

I might add some more rules depending on my experience here on Tumblr. These rules go for the same on my tiktok: lx_v_, and youtube: EL_EX_VEE

Thanks for wasting a bit of your time just to read this important note. It means a lot to me, more than you think it does. I'm currently physically, and possibly mentally, drained and exhausted from life. I'm holding on still, and I know for a fact I'm trying. Your love and support is something, you probably don't know about, that effects my perspective on everything, and that I shouldn't just give up yet. I just wanted to add this because I feel as if I'm not showing my appreciation enough. So overall love yous all, hope for the best in all of us, and just thank you in general 💙

[vespidclan]

just got here so I'm foggy at best on the lore, but here's some (more generic) questions you might like anyway? Asking a few so that, hopefully, one or two hasn't been asked yet - you of course don't have to answer all (or any) if you don't want to. :)!

What inspired you to do this story?

2. How do you warm up before starting drawing, if you do at all?

3. How do you warm up before storyboarding/writing scripts, etc; if you do at all?

4. When designing a character, what steps do you take? (Pinterest, google search "cat"?)

5. Do you have a favorite, least favorite?

6. What's your VespidClan music, if you listen to music? Any songs that scream your characters? The lore in general?

6a. ^ If you do listen to music, are there any songs that are completely unrelated to your characters that you associate with them anyway?

Bonus: Unrelated to your clan at all, but do you have a song you just hate? (Can you tell I like music?)

That's all I can think of for now. Hope this might spark joy among the... state of your inbox :)

I got inspired by a lot of other clangen blogs I was reading at the time. It sounds very generic but just seeing how many people in the clangen fandom (and warriors fandom for that matter) take the time to write stories simply out of a simulation game made me think “hey I can do that too!” so I just… started writing! Other stories that were big inspirations for Vespidclan were IHNMAIMS and The Mandela Catalogue to name a few. I’m a big fan of things with dread and scariness, I’d totally check these out of you haven’t already.

I usually look at cat references and the way other people draw poses for cats before drawing. Believe it or not I’m not very used to drawing quadrupeds, but at least Vespidclan helped me improved with that?

You all know I do the script/dialogue before I start drawing comics. I base off the script from what event happened during the moon and start off there, sometimes writing several scripts for a scene and figuring out which would be best (there was an alternate ending for The Frame-Up!)

Pinterest is a big help lol, but I try to figure it out on my own. Since they’re from clangen, the design is already there, I just give em shapes to work with and stuff! I really want every cat in Vespidclan to be distinct and unique (there will be a LOT of characters to work with), the sisters were a good starting point for that. Iciclestar is lean and spiky, Heartflicker is long and droopy, and Snakevalley is round yet sharp. Sizes also help differentiate the cats, which reminds me I really should make a size chart for them hehe

Webspeckle and Sparkbreak are my favorite designs, but Heartflicker is my favorite to draw. It’s not that I hate her design but Iciclestar can be such a pill to draw, I made the mistake of giving her cool eyes and head shape that I can’t ever get right!

Secret is out! I DID have a Vespidclan song list on Spotify! I say I did because I have to remake it since I made whipped it up while I was just figuring out the story and I think it doesn’t really fit it much currently. Maybe I’ll fix it someday………….But there is a 404 playlist you can listen to. 404 is a very compelling character to write about, she still is! I thought making a personal playlist for her would help with that.

I’ve somewhat mentioned it before but Shut Eye by Stealing Sheep fits Heartflicker, and Who Can It Be Now? by Men At Work suits Stonepaw, maybe there will be more later on!

Don’t start me now—I despise every and all songs from The Beatles. I get angry when I hear it. It isn’t anything bad, it’s just a personal vendetta that I acquired in the 4th grade that would be too long to elaborate on. Like I ain’t even joking, I’m really not a spiteful person… but hearing The Beatles ruins my mood (one song especially, but that’s a story for another day)

[fuzzybubblstar]

‼️Anon asks are ON right now‼️

Pfp by @fuzzybubblstar

•If you do use my art for anything PLEASE tell/ask me!! Don’t steal, repost, copy, or trace my art without permission!!!! (For copy it mostly means making it VERY similar).

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-My friends on here are-

[Color code does not apply here]

~ River / @/killerzys ~

~ Mayya , Snowy / @/mayya-kalila ~

~ Stella / @stellastarzzzz [Her acc is inactive as of right now] ~

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100% I say you should CHECK THEM OUT AND FOLLOW THEM!! They are awesome people!! ^^ /NF

(Im being fr tho i cannot remember yallz usernames help 💀)

Hii! Im Bubbl and heres some facts about me,

• I am a minor, so please don’t send me nsfw or ask for anything suggestive in an art req

• I go by ANY and ALL pronouns, but for simplicity He/Him/They/Them work too. (I put that you can use any as im currently comfortable with all pronouns but also I want to make it so people cannot purposely misgender me if I do not put a set gender to begin with <3)

• If I take a bit to respond to an ask it’s probably cuz I still have to draw the lil skit for it 💔

• I do take art requests, and anything you ask me to draw is free! I will draw animatronics and humans but not animals.

• I am a ✨Therian✨ and a ✨Furry✨ so deal with it ☺️

• I don’t really follow people but depending on if I make any friends on here I might! (I will follow my friends, and some others because my fyp is only mouthwashing and I need that to change 😭 but I’m NOT a F4F acc)

• I use a phone and my finger to draw. The art program I use is ibisPaint X

• Fandoms im in: Tsams, Fnaf, Bluey, Hb, tadc

• I only have a Tumblr as of now so don’t waste time looking for me elsewhere

• Please be kind, Stay safe, and keep my page a safe space for everyone!!

~Style name for those who want to name it something~

⟡BubblGumStarz⟡

(For those who can’t read: BubblGumStarz)

Heres some of my character refs!

(This is a wip rn so hold up lemme actually do this)

Eric

🎀 Sona ref!! 🎀

Color codes:

Red - VERY important / Bad / NO

Orange - Important!

Green - Comfortable with / allowed!

Blue - General statements

Purple - Fun

Pink - /Pos /Fun /Platonic

White - Kinda whatever / Extra

Rainbow - For fun and decor!

I made a community!! Check there for pulls, announcements, ect!!

Info about how you can use my art and more below the “Continue reading”

I will not be interacting with @sofipaws please go block them. Lets do better then that.

If you use the designs of my characters for your own characters please at least tell me, im okay with it as long as its made known to me and your not stealing my entire character. (You may use aspects of the design [Shirt, Pants, Color palette, ect] but NOT the entire thing.)

(Optional to read if you’re new here, this probably won’t apply to you) Please for everyone’s sake stop sending me hate?? First of all I am not a “copy” second of all I haven’t even done anything??? Idc who Sk1ttl3z is I should not be getting harassed for simply being an artist. If you think im “stealing” their art or “copying” them, DNI. Get off my page. Your not welcome here because your making my page less of a safe place.