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sockpuppethistorian · 8 months ago

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Sex and the City, S1E1 Review from the PoV of an AroAce

Welcome to the show! I've done it. I watched Sex and the City's pilot episode, and I have put my thoughts below. ENJOY.

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Okay, so it’s starting with this little vignette about… a woman coming to New York from London and immediately meeting a guy to hook up with and getting very invested while they date for (checks notes)(this is a very meta phrase since these are my notes right now) TWO WEEKS. Why do people go on vacation and just decide that they have to hook up with people? When I go on vacation I want to see the sights and do fun things! It seems exhausting to not even be able to take a break from trying to find The One.

Oh, she MOVED from London to New York.

My point still stands.

So for 2 weeks they were having sex and doing all these romantic dates and planned to MEET PARENTS? I just. This English woman hasn’t even joined a gym or met the neighbors yet.

Alright. Now Carrie is talking and using the phrases “The End of Love in Manhattan” and “The Age of Un-Innocence” to describe New York City and the romance scene in the 90s. Okay, besides being dramatic, these are both hilarious. Clearly it’s not the end of love in Manhattan if this entire show is obsessing about love. But age of un-innocence? Yeah I’ll buy that.

This show being about a sex column is so funny. Because like, being aroace obviously sex makes no sense to me. But clearly it also doesn’t make sense to allos. And that’s beautiful.

Now Voiceover Carrie is explaining how love works and random people around New York are complaining about how essentially their entire lives revolve around dating and how everyone’s standards are too high. Let these people rock climb and eat their salads in peace without involving romance, I tell ya!

We’ve moved to the 4 friends (Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, Miranda) having a birthday dinner for one of them, and they’re just complaining the whole time about all being single). These people are putting way too much emphasis on needing relationships and men. I have such a hard time understanding why they can’t just live their lives and wait to see when a partner comes more naturally as opposed to obsessing over it like this. Maybe I’m not giving them credit, though, because this level of obsession is like me constantly needing good shows to watch on Netflix. Like, calm down and eat your birthday cake and have fun.

The extremely random drag queens that present the birthday cake is a… confusing touch.

They seem to feel so much embarrassment that they're four women in their 30s who aren’t married. Literally my dream would be an entire friend group of unmarried and uninterested-in-marriage people.

Now I’m confused. Do these people just want sex or do they want relationships and marriage? Even in this conversation between the four of them I’m so confused. They don’t want to be single, but they’re like “boo hoo the sex great but then he wanted to read me his poetry.” ????

Carrie is now having lunch with her friend, and he spots “the loathe of your life.” Real. (This was a description that Carrie’s canonical “gay best friend” used to point out someone she used to hook up with— or are Carrie refers to him, “A mistake I made when I was 26. And 29. And 31.”)

So, this is not a judgment on anybody, especially not real people, but I feel so confused and perplexed by the way logic and rationale goes out the door when it comes to people that one is sexually attracted to. Not that it doesn’t happen in other settings but it just seems like a very scary thing to me. Carrie has decided for some reason that to get back at him for the three times she had sex with him and it didn’t turn into a relationship, she is going to make it a fourth time and also not make it a relationship that way this time she’s the one in charge of… whatever the 90s version of ghosting would be??? I just don’t get it.

And I’m sorry, they scheduled a 3 o’clock sex date?? Why?? I could not possibly be bothered. Carrie and her Mistake simply must have something better to do at 3 o’clock, like getting a snack from a vending machine. Or taking a stroll.

Carrie is now having sex with this man, to prove that women can have sex just to have sex without feelings. And does to this guy what he did to her all the other times before that by leaving without any emotional intimacy. Why????

“I left feeling powerful, potent, and incredibly alive.” (Carrie after she abruptly leaves after having sex at 3pm on a workday) Why?? Like I KNOW that I lack the understanding of this because of the asexuality and whatnot but truly what feels good about that?!?!?

Oh my gosh. Guys. I am meeting the famous Mr. Big. And he’s…

Not… attractive…?????

Also who bumps into someone and immediately starts listing off that they notice that they don’t have a ring and that they’re attractive?? And that for some reason Carrie had an entire pack of condoms loose enough to all spill out when this man very lightly bumped into her. I can’t this feels like if humans were not humans with sex drives but just sex drives that were a little bit human.

I did not expect to have this many thoughts at THIRTEEN MINUTES INTO THE EPISODE.

Carrie is now meeting with her friend who looks like he works in IT in 2024, and said he has to tell her a “shocking secret.” Who wants to guess it’s related to sex?

… … … Guys the shocking secret was that he hasn’t had sex in a year. (Carrie’s response: “I don’t understand that, you’re such a nice guy.”) (Skipper’s response back: “I’m too nice. I’m a romantic. I just have so much feeling.”)

I… I’m actually impressed they’re finding this many different ways to talk about the exact same thing. Is this how allo conversations go??

Skipper says he’s sensitive because he doesn’t objectify women.

Skipper: Most guys, when they meet a girl, the first thing that they see is… you know… Carrie: (confidently as if she is proving some sort of weird point) P*ssy? Skipper: (chuckling like a school girl) Oh God! Hehehehe I hate that word. (Pause for a beat) Don’t you have any friends that you can hook me up with?

?? Y’all, can you name one time the first thing a boy sees in a girl is her genitals, unless he has accidentally logged into PornHub and forgotten that’s what he’s watching and thinks it’s Every Woman He Knows?

And then… HM. Man, this guy moves fast. Embarrassed by the word p*ssy and immediately turns around asking for a hook up. ???

So for some context, the immediate next thing that happens after this guy (SKIPPER) says he hasn’t had sex in a year and then is embarrassed by the word p*ssy, is to tell Carrie that he likes older women (literally this is what he says), and then Carrie decides to set him up with her friend Miranda.

Skipper after she says she’ll set him up with Miranda: “Don’t tell her I’m nice.”

Okay, so the goal here is really just unemotional sex.

WHAT. The. HEEECK.

Voiceover Carrie: “Miranda was gonna hate Skipper. She’d think he was mocking her with his sweet nature and decided he was an a**hole.”

?? Why waste everyone’s time?? Like is the point here for Carrie to get no one any sex or relationships? Like maybe it’s the End of Love in Manhattan because you’re setting up two people on a date that you know will fizzle out.

So now she’s on the phone with her friend Charlotte who has a date with someone that Voiceover Carrie describes as an “un-gettable bachelor.” What does it mean to be an “un-gettable bachelor”? Does this mean he has sex but doesn’t date? Does this mean he dates but won’t have sex? Does this mean he doesn’t usually do any second dates? I can’t even tell what these people want.

Carrie said she had an “afternoon of cheap and easy sex.” I want to psychologically explore this with her. Like did she just like the manipulation part? Did she just need to have an orgasm? What is going on here.

Okee doke, so now they’re in a club, where Carrie says it’s like the bar Cheers where everyone knows your name, except “here they forget it five minutes later.” I can’t tell if this is supposed to entice me or show how sinful everyone is being.

And we have Carrie’s friend Miranda, being very mean to Skipper who in the last scene was annoying me but now I feel bad for him because Miranda is literally interrogating him and trying to prove he’s a pig.

Voiceover Carrie says “I was about to rescue Skipper from an increasingly hopeless situation, when suddenly—“ stop right there, Voiceover Carrie. YOU PUT HIM IN THIS SITUATION. She is playing games. My opinion as of right now is her sex column was too boring so she is stirring the pot, which doesn’t seem to be too difficult since literally nobody knows what they want.

So now Carrie has run into the Mistake from when she was 26, 29, and 31 (and 3pm that afternoon). And he’s like “omg hello! I was pissed at you at 3pm but now I’m relieved that you want the exact same kind of relationship that I want!” Which is… 3pm sex??? And nothing else??

Y’all PLZ.

“Now we can have sex without commitment!” -Mistake (26,29,31,3pm). And now Carrie is disappointed. WHAT DID SHE THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN? Allos be playing mind games, for real.

Mistake: “I like this new you, call me.” Carrie: Depression, regret, anger, pretty much all the 5 stages of grief while she mourns her confidence from 3pm.

Dude, maybe this was not a good idea?? Like did you WANT the unattached sex or no??? Because it seems like it was only good sex as long as he was upset afterwards and now that he wasn’t she’s sad too? Did you retroactively decide you didn’t enjoy the 3pm sex which you said earlier made you feel “powerful, potent, and alive”?? Carrie, WHICH IS IT?

Voiceover Carrie: “Did all men secretly want their women promiscuous and emotionally detached?” Probably not, but if you purposely go for Mistake 26,29,31 with the intention of having promiscuous and emotionally detached sex because that’s what he’s given you in the past, that’s what you’re going to get???? Like??? You’re picking the wrong people to try to do things with?? (I was going to say the wrong people to have sex with but I feel like anyone willing to immediately have 3pm sex is in the same category anyway).

HUIRDFJKNIURGJFNDK Her friend Samantha just spotted Mr. Big and called him “The Next Donald Trump.” Oh my goodness. Laughing.

Next Donald Trump just did the cringiest little wave. He also waved when he saw Carrie on the street. Big ick.

And Carrie pretends she hasn’t met him. Why <3

Samantha says Next Donald Trump usually dates models. How do people know so much about these random people.

Now we’re back to Charlotte having some sort of date, and the guy asks her to come “back to” his “place.” Voiceover Carrie tells us she had wanted to play hard to get but doesn’t want the evening to end. Why are the only two options Sex on the First Date or Abruptly End the Date??

Charlotte’s date (Capote Duncan, hilarious name) starts kissing her neck and she asks to go home so he gets her a cab….. but then he GETS INTO THE CAB AND ASKS THE CAB DRIVER TO GO TO THE CLUB THE REST ARE AT AFTER HE DROPS OFF CHARLOTTE AT HOME.

WHAAAT.

Charlotte is like “Why are you going to the club?” And Mr. Capote Duncan with no sense of social etiquette for some reason responds “I understand where you’re coming from, and I totally respect it, but I really need to have sex tonight.”

??? HOW DARE HE?? What is this deal. How are these the eligible bachelors. All of these men are as horny as 12 year old boys who just discovered Playboy. None of them can keep it in their pants for 4 minutes and I don’t get anyones motives here. Clearly this dude Capote does not care about a second date with Charlotte after he just pulled that nonsense.

Back to Samantha, who seems to be the very sensual friend. She is propositioning Mr. Big to have a “private tour” of the downstairs of the club they’re in and Mr. Big turns her down.

And instead of being like, “okay he’s not interested,” Samantha takes this as a massive slight.

AAAAAaaand we’re back to Miranda and Skipper, who Miranda is politely(?) turning down, and then they start making out against a building. I do not get this.

AND NOW SAMANTHA IS IN CAPOTE DUNCANS APARTMENT MAKING OUT WITH HIM. Unbelievable. And he says she can’t stay over so the plan is literally thrust and bust.

Is this how normal sex lives work or is everyone in this show particularly amoral.

Ijdfknigfjkgijkthrgf

Carrie is wandering around outside, and Mr. Big drives up and says “well get in for Christ sakes” and she smiles like that’s a very sweet normal thing to say to someone you haven’t had an actual conversation with.

Carrie says she’s a “sexual anthropologist” to Mr. Big, who asked about her job. He gives me the creeps. I assume his long stares and slow deep voice are supposed to be sexy but it’s just bizarre and unnerving.

Mr. Big tells Carrie she’s “never been in love.” Voiceover Carrie then responds “suddenly I felt the wind knocked out of me.” Literally for what, Carrie.

She gets out of the cab, stops, then does a dramatic turn around to ask, “have you ever been in love?” It’s very film noir music and vibes right now. Mr. Big responds “Abso-f*cking-lutely” and then the window goes up and he pulls away in the literal most dramatic way and we freeze frame on Carrie.

Okay. That’s in. That’s the episode.

Most “ALLO SAY/DO WHAT?” Moments, in no particular order:

3pm sex with Mistake from 26, 29, and 31

Getting into the cab with your date so that you can go to the club to find someone else to have sex with

Carrie no longer liking the 3pm sex because Mistake liked it too

Skipper liking older women and being upset he hasn’t had sex in a year but giggling at the word p*ssy

Carrie getting into the cab with a strange man she literally barely knows because she thinks he’s “hot”

2.75/5 I think is my ranking. Too much sex.

#asexual #aromantic #aroace #sex and the city #sex and the city watch #live blog

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raayllum · 1 month ago

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Love that even tho ur a popular blog in the fandom u realize that u clown sometimes too and make fun of urself, very demure very mindful as the kids say

is this a safe space to say that despite being gen z myself i still don't know what very demure very mindful means

(looked it and gasp that's genuinely very sweet thank you!! i certainly Try, don't always succeed but i definitely appreciate being appreciated)

i just think it's very important in life to being able to make fun of yourself without being mean to yourself, y'know? at the end of the day basically any fandom is just not that serious and certainly not something to attach self worth / wellbeing to. i did not ask to be a 'popular' blog and sometimes i wish i wasn't, admittedly, but overall i think i do a good job at chilling in my corner and maintaining a corner to chill.

like all my metas are either written in full context (ie. talking about s5 when we have all of s5) or with the caveat that this is the context and understanding i have right now in speculating in the future. there could be curveballs or information withheld or times where my vision just doesn't match up wth the crew's vision (throwback to me thinking Leola would be a family member of Aaravos but specifically Not His Child bc of Sir Sparklepuff and Claudia), and like. that's all good and fun and okay? any time the show has done something that wasn't my preference or didn't work for me the first time (aka there were like 3 things in s6) i assume i'm wrong and go looking for reasons as to "why would they do this" and i'm always satisfied with the answers i find in some manner; either it makes me Love what they did or i'm well aware it's a fucking nitpick to begin with (what does anyone at the Starscraper eat? i need to know). i'm down to recontextualize and re-evaluate and take things as they come (aka i've started my pre-season "let go of all expectations" ritual)

i think some of that comes from 1) being very emotionally detached from analysis overall and 2) subsequently not really caring how or why certain associations/themes come back, just that they do. part of that comes from being trained to leave how a work makes me feel (besides genre aspects like the grotesque or sublime) at the door (like i hated jane eyre being 18 and her happy ending being with her shitty 40 year old employer, but those feelings literally do no matter if i'm gonna Analyze the text like 90% of the time) and/or having to teach my students to think about relatability and then also think beyond it. this also goes for queer representation; i don't like or relate to all queer representation i've seen, like double trouble in she-ra as a nonbinary person, but i don't have to for it meaningful and worthwhile for someone else, including the writers and the character successfully encompassing what they were trying to do, and i think co-existing with those aspects is worthwhile too.

like for example i hope going into s7 that either my pet theory CHET happens in some manner (like the way it did in 5x08) or i know definitively without a doubt that it's not happening in the future and that time has passed so that i can theorize and move onto other things in TDP. or like, i always thought it'd be cool if Callum had freed Aaravos and that would still probably be my preference of Callum's freedom associations, but I mostly just want those associations between him and Aaravos to go somewhere. maybe it's in a shattering world order thing, maybe they're subverted (callum is freed and he traps aaravos or something) but as long as they eventually go somewhere, it's gouda? whenever i'm right it's a lot of fun and it is rewarding, don't get me wrong; it's exciting and a confidence boost that i'm good at analyzing this specific story, but it's not why i theorize (i'm journey not destination focused) nor is it why i put time into fandom, i'm here to have fun and accept the story for what it is as it comes to me, partially because i hope people do the same with the stories i tell someday

after all, stories and fandom are here to bring us joy, fun, and catharsis. if they're not doing that, then we gotta do something different

#thanks for asking #dragons rambles #kind words #anonymous #this isn't to say you can't be a hater. sometimes hating on something Is fun #but if that's the mainstay then that's usually not actually good time. esp when there are so many stories out there #to love instead

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explosionshark · 6 months ago

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Your turn!

It's halfway through the year! Got any favorite albums/books/tv shows/whatever to recommend?

thanks to you @badwolfwho1 who both asked me!

music:

right off the top i'm gonna recommend 3 pop albums bc i almost never have this many TO recommend. but tei shi's valerie, empress of's for your consideration, and shygirl's club shy EP have all been on constant repeat for me this year.

big year for metal also - in particular crypt sermon, job for a cowboy, darkest hour, gatecreeper, aborted and tzompantli were all incredible. i feel like between seeing them live and the release of cure, this is the first time erra has really clicked for me and i'm loving it.

for post-hardcore i've loved the debut LPs by with sails aheads and your ghost in glass. the EP lonely people by love rarely was on repeat for me for weeks also - really great stuff.

i got heaven by mannequin pussy slaps too. and i also really, really want to recommend you could do it tonight by couch slut - if you love the queasy, depraved noise that chat pile make, you absolutely should be listening to couch slut.

i threw a couple little playlists together to roundup some of my faves:

(extended version here)

honorable mention: as was really apparent from my charts this year, i spent A LOT of time listening to the saosin s/t again. but also got really back into grouper this year - especially her 2021 album shade, which i missed entirely when it came out.

books:

okay for music i focused mostly on 2024 releases but for books i won't be so strict.

shirley jackson: a rather haunted life by ruth franklin was REALLY good and provided a lot of great insight into jackson's work and also just had some really interesting history in it. really enjoyed it.

hit so hard by patty schemel a rock music and addiction memoir by the drummer of Hole. very dark and upsetting at points, but compelling. was very illuminating re: the 90s seattle music scene and the drug culture around it, provided a lot of context and detail to some stuff i thought i already knew about. really great stuff.

penance by eliza clark - this is a fake true crime book that REALLY got under my skin. it's a meta commentary on true crime as a fandom and an industry and the exploitation inherent in it. it's a mirror to make you stare at your own internal biases. it's SO fucking 2014 tumblr. i've gotten like three other people to read it and they all went insane like me. highly recommended.

hex by thomas olde heuvelt - very late to the party on this one but i loved it. translated AND localized from dutch, with very interesting results. almost goofy to start and ends up totally bleak. i adored it.

magic for beginners and white cat, black dog by kelly link - REALLY falling in love with kelly link this year. read these two and currently re-reading stranger things happen and i just adore her style. weird but SO heartfelt, surreal and dreamy, as often horrifying as it is sweet. she's so talented, i'm really excited to read the book of love later this year.

between two fires by christopher buehlman - FINALLY read this and i loved it. absolutely deserves the hype. kinda wild that dark ages horror isn't more of a thing? i re-read buehlman's the blacktongue thief too and really loved it, definitely cemented it as one of my favorite fantasy books. i'm reading the daughters' war now and enjoying it a lot.

i also re-read the golden enclaves by naomi novik and had such a great time with it.

tv shows:

finished my buffy re-watch! been watching a ton of xena with @holdsteady and @nataliving this year too - we just finished s3 and it was insane and i loved it soooo much.

i watched under the bridge and thought it was very good, but i'd recommend people learn a little about the real reena virk case before engaging.

hacks season 3 was INSANE it made me crazy i loved it so much.

haven't watched much tv aside from that!

#replies #heated-drama-between-men

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oswlld · 8 months ago

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oswlld's monthly wrap up: april

note: i am trying something a bit different this year, so bear with me as i figure out how i want to format this. i wanted to spend more time sharing what i consume, beyond what i rb, and put my thoughts in one place. these posts are okay to rb

This Is How You Lose the Time War, Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone [started 04/04, finished 04/09] *drags my hands down my face until the end of time* I want to meet you in every place I ever loved. I want to meet you in every place I ever loved. I want to meet you in every place I ever loved. I want to meet you in every place I ever loved. I want to meet you in every place I ever loved. I WANT TO MEET YOU!!!! IN EVERY PLACE I EVER LOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!! 4.75⭐️ in storygraph. — Hamnet, Maggie O’Farrell [started 04/12, in prog] I am about 100 pages in and still not sure if I want to keep going or DNF it. idk what isn’t sticking because the writing is beautiful and the pacing is great. And I do care about the characters, I really do. I love the way the author borrows from future grief, it’s what I am enjoying most about this read so far. Maybe I’ll give it 50 more pages and see if it finally sticks.

23.5 Degrees, GMMTV [started: 03/08, ongoing] As mentioned, I am caught up on eps 3-8. I’ll likely not be able to watch it live in may but I will be keeping up with the series til the end. It’s so lighthearted and charming! Not sure how they managed this, but I am constantly surprised by the character group dynamics. It’s def due to the great chemistry everyone has with literally everyone. I need NEED to discuss the score of this show because it’s IMMACULATE. The celestial themes, from the props all the way down to the music, is so rich. I’m so excited to see how this story unravels. — Devil’s Plan [started: 04/23, ongoing] This is a bestie pick, a show my best friend chose to have us watch on our facetime calls. We are 1.5 eps in and it’s a grower. The first game is hella complex and we’re slowly picking up on what’s happening. The people on this show are incredibly intelligent, so I feel like I have to work extra hard to keep up. It does feel rewarding, I’m hooked.

Oppenheimer, Peacock [watched on 04/05] I am a self-proclaimed Nolan girlie, I’ll admit it. I do enjoy his work and the many ways he translates time into film. When I wrote this, it had been a few days since I watched it and I still think abt the little moments that blew me away. Moments like the accentuated dust particles, how the coloring of the movie can be an unreliable narrator, and the utilization of a crowded hall stomping their feet to create tension. The last eight minutes still haunts me. I find more value in the technical side of film, but I will give credit when credit is due: every award Cillian Murphy got this season was so well earned. He carried all three hours of that film with such powerful quietude. And lastly, my heart now belongs to Jennifer Lame. Upon seeing her accept the award for Best Film Editing for Oppenheimer, I have come to learn that she also edited Tenet. HER MIND!!! She has such a bright future ahead of her, to be up there with the minds of Thelma Schoonmaker and Anne V Coates. — Yellow Door: ’90s Lo-Fi Film Club [watched on 04/14] This film needs to be studied in film school. It’s incredibly meta in some ways, having renown directors be the subjects, talking about their passion for film. The production being so stylized and the editing feels very reminiscent of Our Beloved Summer, with the way the found footage and the aspect ratios are intertwined with current day quality shots. This film will hit everyone right in the millennial. A true surprise for me is discovering that Bong Joon Ho and I are more alike that I had originally thought. The way he speaks in casual conversation and his story of setting strict rules for their film collection had me hollering because SAME. The most jessi thing he recounted was how all the VHS tapes were labelled. Yellow Door is somehow the opposite of the "doesn’t take itself too seriously" mentality; it’s actually so great that they made the film like that. By fully immersing us with gorgeous cinematography, cheeky editing sequences, and lush music to tug at your heartstrings, it bewitches you into loving film as much as they did. And still do.

Cowboy Carter, Beyoncé [relisten] I’ve given this several good cycles to confirm my first impressions: it’s def one of her most cohesive albums to date and still stands as a spectacular album. This passion project of hers takes such great care and attention to the voices she amplifies. I can feel the hunger, the innate need for her to make this album. If you haven’t heard how this album came to be, I insist you take the time to educate yourselves. It makes the listening experience so much more empowering. Good for her… GOOD. FOR. HER!! Current favs: Ameriican Requiem, 16 Carriages, Bodyguard, Jolene, Spaghettii, Ya Ya, Desert Eagle, II Hands II Heaven, and Sweet/Honey/Buckin’. — Older, Lizzy McAlpine [first time listening] Coming off the heels of my Five Seconds Flat hyperfixation last year, I haphazardly went into Older hoping its a natural progression in production value. I was shocked that it turned out to be a completely different sound. I soon learned that she actually didn’t really like how Five Seconds Flat was produced because it didn’t feel true to her as an artist. Tbh I was feeling a little lost after the first listen but after digesting this new info, I went back into it and appreciated it a lot more. In fact, the third listen was when I realized that it gave off the same energy as Laufey. I’m excited to listen to it again soon. — Stick Season: Forever, Noah Kahan [first time listening] Having stumbled on all the collabs on Alexa earlier this year, Forever was the only new song for me from his latest release. I’m OBSESSED with this song!!!! The way his voice carries the entire weight of every hurt inside me and just takes it away. Something healed in me. I play it in the car every time I leave the house. I cry in the car every time I leave the house. — The Tortured Poets Department, Taylor Swift [first time listening, standard vinyl ed.] I am going to get this out of the way and say that this album is great. Just great. I understand more than ever why she felt the need to make this album. Having only listened to the standard version a couple times and the anthology twice through, I sit here in this kind of… discomfort. And I’m kind of okay with that feeling. But… it pains me that I can’t share this album with some people in my life and it’s largely due to how she depicts her struggles with people with mental illness/addiction. It’s one, if not the biggest, strike I have against this album and by extension, her. Songs cycling in my head: Down Bad, So Long London, Guilty as Sin?, Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?, loml, imgonnagetyouback, Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus, How Did It End?, I Look in People’s Windows, The Prophecy, Peter, and The Manuscript.

EXPO Chicago [attended 04/13] Yes, I am doxxing myself a bit if you didn’t already know. During college, I used to attend EXPO yearly and occasionally went back long after I finished school. I haven’t attended in a long time, so I made it my goal to attend this year. And I had a blast! My mother tagged along and she’s not one to attend shows like this or art museums in general. It was a beautiful day trip to the city and it was nice to have her company. She mostly trailed behind and took pics of me as I floated around the exhibition hall. I have 50+ artists I tracked on my phone to actively research in my spare time. I sat in on one of the panel talks (ON COLOR), discussing color theory in today’s bipoc landscape. I took so much away from that conversation, it was very charged. I'm kinda obsessed with Alteronce Gumby, I need to do an artist deepdive on his work. — Coachella [watched from 04/12 to 04/14] I work for a big tech company and one of the biggest events to be on standby for is Coachella. I had to be on call for Friday and was backup support for Sunday lineups. Thus, Saturday was the only day I could sit back and relax while watching. My first time lineups included: Hatsune Miku, Peso Pluma, Late Night Drive Home, Jon Batiste, Ateez, le Sserafim, Purple Disco Machine, Bleachers, No Doubt, 88rising Futures, and Latin Mafia. Of all of the performances, I want to take a full deep dive into Ateez and Peso Pluma’s discography in the near future.

#oswlld 2024 wrap up #mine: edits #long post #this is how you lose the time war #23.5 degrees #devil's plan #oppenheimer #bong joon ho #yellow door #cowboy carter #beyonce #lizzy mcalpine #noah kahan #taylor swift #alteronce gumby #ateez #peso pluma #ive been tackling ttpd as though it was folklore/evermore #it reads more like sister albums for me it gives length and structure like musical theatre cast recordings #i dissect the narrative in acts #and im enjoying the writing and narrative more in ttpd standard #but i LOVE the production and variety of topics in the anthology collection #this level of vulnerability and info dumping is not for everyone #and tbh it might not even be for me but it doesn’t make it a bad album #it’s like… i get why there’s criticism about how it needs to be edited down or polished or that it needed ‘more time’#i do get it and a part of me buys into it #imo she’s prob too big to fail. she can get away with almost anything at this rate #im still enjoying it tho. she's a grower #i have the rest of time to have it grow on me. there will be songs that will hit harder in a week/month/year #sorry about the tangent see yall in june

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waitmyturtles · 2 years ago

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Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: Love Sick/Love Sick 2 Edition

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. I’ve covered SOTUS so far, but now I’m correcting for chronology, and present to you today my review of Love Sick.]

Well. I climbed the mountain and saw the view from the top. After 48 episodes -- BL edit cuts, mind you, but still, 48 episodes -- I finished Love Sick and Love Sick 2.

Before I dive into the review, I want to meditate on something that kept cropping up for me as I was watching the show. I always say this in my writing, but I’m an #old cishet gal, in my early middle-aged years, and when I was in high school in the States, casual homophobia likely looked different than it does now, or maybe even at the time of Love Sick’s airing in 2014 and 2015.

I’m not sure if young people in high schools do this now... or maybe they do. Maybe I’m clueless and just not watching enough Western and/or cishet content to know. But when I was a teenager in the ‘90s, “gay” was the adjective for everything. "This bagel is gay.” Your handbag was “gay.” Your handwriting was “gay.” The way in which you stapled your papers together could be called “gay” -- I literally heard that in high school, and I still remember it as being one of the dumbest things I had ever heard. And, of course, most doomingly for certain individuals -- many were labeled as “gay,” too.

As I rejected much of the biases and racism that my Indian family operated by when I was growing up -- so I also rejected the nonsensical usage of the word “gay” as an adjective for anything else but someone’s sexuality.

I was a seriously protected, hugely nerdy Indian kid growing up. But I kind of inherently knew that this unconscious/conscious/implicit/explicit/simmering hate for a group of people vis à vis this adjective wasn’t for me. At that time of my youth, I didn’t actually know queer communities. I just didn’t want to be associated with biased people who insisted on seeming like utter idiots via their language against a minority group.

(I’m aware now that “gay” as an adjective is likely being appropriated back by young queer communities, just like the word “queer” itself. I want to clarify that “gay” was NOT being used in a "nice” sense when I was a kid.)

I’m meditating on this because, of course, I watched Love Sick well out of order of my introduction to Thai BLs. I started with KinnPorsche, with The Eclipse, with Bad Buddy, and then began to correct that by watching SOTUS -- all shows that have dealt with homophobia in various ways...or seemingly not at all, in the case of BBS, and to just a touch of an extent in KP between Big and Porsche.

So. I watched Love Sick to learn about Thai BL history. But my mindset is out of order, right? It’s because I’ve already watched many influential shows that carry the influence of Love Sick within them. (As I did in my SOTUS review, I’ll cite @miscellar‘s tremendous analysis of how Bad Buddy was based on Aof Noppharnach’s meta commentary on existing BL frameworks, and I’ll do a lot of comparisons to BBS in this piece, as I’m aware that P’Aof was influenced himself by Love Sick.)

In rewinding my perspective and my mind to set myself up to watch Love Sick: I wanted to be very aware of how this show would deal with casual homophobia among teenagers, and the ever-present question of how it would deal with the question of if the main coupling of Phun and Noh would fall into the “gay for you” category that I discussed in my SOTUS review, and that @absolutebl discusses in this post.

If @absolutebl flagged Love Sick as likely problematic of mistakes that are being corrected for now -- of course, they’re right. The casual homophobia was rampant. The “gay” question was easily squelched, loudly and early by Noh, who clarified throughout the show that he was not, and never would, be gay. And Phun clarifies that as well, later in season 2. Our boys “called it love.”

Bad Buddy dealt with this differently, very obviously. There was no homophobia. Pat likes all genders. Pran will consider liking girls at some point, to Ink’s joy and advice that it’d be “gainful” for Pran to do so.

But. (And I think P’Aof recognized this.) In history, we have to start somewhere. I had to get comfortable in my jibblies to watch this, and be reminded from whence I came, an environment of casual homophobia that very directly led to my deciding to live my life in part as an ally.

It’s unfortunate that I don’t get to read commentary on the regular about these shows from a Thai queer male perspective. (It’s why reviews from the very dear @bengiyo are so important for me to read, from his queer male perspective.) (And I think I need to watch more Soonvijarn.) I want to know, from a Thai queer male perspective, if it was OKAY for Love Sick to depict the casual homophobia that we saw, and if the perspective accepts Noh and Phun’s trajectory as a couple, calling their relationship not gay, but love. And certainly -- maybe that perspective has changed over the course of the airing of BL in Thailand, as expectations and artistic strategies have changed with the progress of time.

Throughout my liveblogging of my watching the show (and I want to take a second here to give a HUGE SHOUT-OUT to the DARLING MUTUALS who commented on my seriously late-night posts: @clairificusrex, @lurkingshan, @nieves-de-sugui, @aliceisathome, and many more, I LOVE YOU ALL, YOU AMAZING STANS!), I expressed a lot of love for Phun and Noh, and for other characters, too, like Yu, Per, and Win. (Yu and Per have a special place in my heart as allies-in-the-making, and Per trying everything to make Win, his BFF, happy -- and recognizing his limits while doing so.)

But now that I’m done with the show...I feel like a line of intimacy wasn’t crossed. Maybe I shouldn’t blame the show for this. The show WASN’T a BL. The show wasn’t SOLELY focused on Phun and Noh. Maybe the line of intimacy that I’m thinking of COULDN’T be achieved in a high school setting in 2014 Thailand.

I really wondered about the length of the show as I was watching it. For the MAJORITY of the second season, I thought the length HELPED the boys grow into their relationship. We really saw shades of gray. We saw shades of emotion, of development, especially from Noh to Phun. We saw Noh grow TREMENDOUSLY, maturely, figuring out his boundaries with lovely Yu. We saw Noh figure out his boundaries with Phun. I thought all of that development was truly lovely, very important to see between two young men, and gorgeous to watch. Captain acted the hell out of it.

At the same time, I think the length of the second second ultimately hurt the endgoal of the revelation of their relationship to their communities and family. To the end of the show, we were hearing that the boys were not gay. I think this was designed as a necessary part of their coming out in their relationship -- because I’m not sure that the airing of Love Sick 2 could have been considered successful at that time if it did NOT include that element, the element of MAKING SURE that the audience was TOLD that the boys were not gay.

And I think -- because I watched things out of order, I’ve watched brilliant shows already correct for these mistakes -- that deflated me just a touch as I wrapped up the series.

As well, up until the VERY end, we saw that the boys were still in a place to consider heterosexual relationships, as in the case of Phun and his friend, Pam, who Noh confused for being a potential interloper. With Phun *not* communicating and clarifying to Noh immediately that Pam had a boyfriend, it set up a moment of real confusion for Noh, as if their already-committed relationship (which they had committed to multiple times already!) was on the rocks, for an interloper of another gender.

While I was watching it, I was confused -- I was wondering why the show needed THIS to close out Phun and Noh’s storyline.

I wonder if it’s because, in 2014, the show could not have ended WITHOUT that question. The boys would be in a relationship now... but in the future, would things “straighten” out? (Of course, years later, we had ReminderS, which I haven’t peeped, but did establish that the guys were still together, as BL continued to be filmed and as attitudes slowly have changed.)

I think that if Love Sick 2 had ended after the pharmacy camp -- I would have felt settled and happy about this show. Phun and Noh ARE darlings, after all. Captain as Noh, his AMAZING ability to demonstrate a teenage kid’s overwhelmed reaction to the world around him so comedically -- it was really perfect. Both White and Captain are fantastic actors (especially as compared to Krist in SOTUS).

But there was something about the ending that gave me the jibbles. As if the show couldn’t just leave the guys alone in their happiness. There HAD to be one more dramatic storyline that wasn’t clear. There HAD to be the clarification that the boys were not gay -- not to their schoolmates, not to Phun’s dad, not to the audience. No way were they gay. Again, I think this was where the length of the second season ultimately hurt this series.

And Ohm’s internalized homophobia as well. The way in which he rejected James, left James in the dust. The way in which things were left not quite clarified between him and Mick, although their relationship was alluded to at the end. (I might have missed some clarifications in the BL edits, but I ain’t going back to the full-length episodes to find out.)

And Earn and Pete. Good LORD, Earn. An “I fucking love you” next to the urinals? Dude. PETE COULD DO SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU, EARN. (I frankly wanted to see Pete with Yu. Earn was the Thai version of The Situation from Jersey Shore, getting all up in Noh and Phun’s business and trying to break them up. Fucking Earn. SMDH.)

I have complaints. And I can’t help but think... yes, THIS is what Bad Buddy corrected for. THIS is what The Eclipse corrected for. With Kinn being out and out gay, THIS is what KinnPorsche corrected for.

Phun and Noh found their love, which I am desperately happy for. Captain acted the HELL out of Noh -- I could not help but laugh out loud, night after night, at how Noh wiggled his way in and out of situations. He is, in Asian parental parlance, a good boy.

But, as dear @absolutebl meditated on, there were mistakes in this show that, thank goodness, are being corrected by the filmmakers that I have fallen for now. I see what Bad Buddy was doing. Instead of “I’M NOT GAY” -- P’Aof had Pran be gay, and Pat be bi, and Pran consider girls to Ink. That flow of that conversation among Pat/Pran/Ink/Pa -- that was sophisticated stuff. P’Golf had Akk say to his parents, not that he was in love with Ayan -- but that he likes men.

I have previously loved these nuances in Bad Buddy and The Eclipse. Love Sick now makes me WANT THEM, HUNGRILY, as admissions of truth and acceptance.

Do I need characters to be out and out, like Kinn? NO. That’s a person’s business, that’s a character’s business, if they want to define or call themselves gay. I’m not here to tell anyone where to land on the sexuality expression spectrum, that’s not my place. I’m not here to ASK anyone’s preferences. Just live. Pran certainly wasn’t out and out. He loved Pat -- that’s who he loved, he loved Pat, and there was no other nonsense, no other side explanations, no covering up or jibbly clarifying of any other positions. (And Pat’s statement was so simple, too: “I like both genders.” Boom, done, move on, live and LOVE and be happy.)

What was hard for me was the repeated denial of gay throughout Love Sick and Love Sick 2. I just didn’t think the show needed that -- because the love between Phun and Noh could have spoken volumes WITHOUT those statements. But I also get it. I get that the writers of Love Sick likely thought they NEEDED those statements in order to get the dang show aired in the first place, in 2014 Thailand. I get that there wasn’t that paradigm, yet, as leveraged by people like P’Aof, P’Jojo, and P’Golf, that lets love STAND as the STATEMENT ITSELF, à la Bad Buddy and The Eclipse.

I see what Love Sick did to begin setting up a tremendous, TREMENDOUS paradigm of BLs in Thailand. It was simply groundbreaking. And the ads! The advertisers were also making their statements. These boys were drinking and eating the Oishi like there was no tomorrow. That was big for nascent BL and capitalism accepting nascent BL.

But the show wasn’t perfect, not by a long shot. And @absolutebl Sensei -- you nailed it by listing it as one of your three original recommendations for us understanding what GMMTV is doing, NOW, with their progressive and groundbreaking art. I’m glad I watched Love Sick. I’ll get more Phun and Noh when I catch up with ReminderS -- and I’m glad, for me, that Love Sick is over, and that I know that Phun and Noh end up happily together in drama land, hopefully in a place where their cinematic preferences are NOT in control of the fictional communities around them, and the real audiences watching them.

[For those of you who are following, I’m now going to make a purposeful dive into a few shows that cover a number of priorities. I’m going to watch Make It Right, Make It Right 2, and Love By Chance -- all to learn about the works of the very prolific New Siwaj, as recommended to me by @bengiyo. I’ll also be crossing off groundbreaking shows featuring my simpy darlings, Ohm Pawat and Perth Tanapon, who are currently destroying in Double Savage. Finally, with MIR and MIR2, I’ll learning more about the early high school pulps after having watched Love Sick. Here’s the road front and back. I’ll ALWAYS take input if anyone reading thinks that something’s missing on this list!

AND AS ALWAYS: MANY, MANY THANKS TO THE FAM that always comments on these posts and gives me unbelievable feedback: @bengiyo, @shortpplfedup, @respectthepetty, @lurkingshan, @wen-kexing-apologist, @clairificusrex, @nieves-de-sugui, @manogirl, @miscellar, @dribs-and-drabbles, @solitaryandwandering, and anyone that I may have missed! I so appreciate you all, and I LIVE for the conversations we have about these shows. 1) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) 2) SOTUS (2016) (review here) 3) Make It Right (2016) 4) Make It Right 2 (2017) 5) Love By Chance (2018) 6) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) 7) He’s Coming To Me (2019) 8) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) 9) TharnType (2019) 10) Theory of Love (2019) 11) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) 12) 2gether (2020) 13) Still 2gether (2020) 14) ITSAY (2020) 15) I Promised You the Moon (2021) 16) Not Me (2021-2022) 17) My School President (2022-2023)]

#turtles catches up with thai bls #turtles catches up with the essential BLs #turtles catches up with old GMMTV #the old gmmtv challenge #ogmmtvc #love sick #love sick the series #love sick season 1 #love sick season 2 #noh x phun #phun x noh

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spaceorphan18 · 4 days ago

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A few things for you - I read you want to revise your meta on Kurt. Do you not think people are interpreting Kurt and Blaine differently than ten years ago? And your meta isn’t wrong it’s just different gens see different things. for example that Blaine isn’t that great person.

I saw an old graph on tumblr that showed pre season 6 about 90% of people on tumblr were still watching because they loved Kurt and Blaine. (Kurt more than Blaine, but still Blaine really was far ahead of every other character)

I don’t think there’s the same Blaine positivity anymore. And maybe it’s because how people view Darren?

Oh. Oh Nonny, lol.

So, a couple of things.

The revisions on the meta - first of all, it was done before tumblr showed you spelling mistakes, etc, and there are a TON of typos because I never reread them before I posted. And I'm just embarrassed by that. I mean, I call myself a writer, and the writing looks like crap.

Secondly, I also meant expand on a few things I should have -- one thing is talking about Santana vs Klaine in early Season 3. I kind of glossed over some of the context of Santana's POV and I wish I had been more thoughtful in my commentary. There are also, just, other things I could have elaborated on, or made more clear, you know?

Thirdly, Nonny, my god, Blaine-hate has been a thing since the beginning of time, and the (figuratively) funny thing about it is that every group of Blaine-haters have been saying the same damn things in ever reiteration.

Yeah - there has been a shift. There are a ton of people who just love Brittana more (why, idk, to each their own) and Klaine doesn't grab people the same way (different times I guess? I have opinions but I'll get yelled at, so I'm not going to). But the way people hate on Blaine is exactly the same as it ever was.

Also, Blaine haters can just fuck all the way right off. He's a complex character written for a cheezy, not well written TV show. I've never gotten it. I will continue to never get it. And most of the people who hate Blaine do it because they feel superior in that it seems to uplift some, weird narrative they've got going about their own favs.

Signed, an actual fact Kurt fan. (Even though I'm pretty sure I'm banned from the Kurt fandom.) <------ that was a joke.

Also, how does Darren perception figure into this? I've always felt he was more liked than Blaine? I probably don't want to know, lol.

#glee #that's how s.o. sees it

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misrepresentedmorallygrey · 1 year ago

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And Round 1 is Done!

PROPAGANDA

"Picture this: the love of your life betrays you and causes your death, then you're brought back to life later against your will and your lover is with your reincarnation. Anyone would feel bitter! She tries her best to keep living her half life and helping people. She's hated just because she's not the main character and gets in the way of the show's OTP."

"Kikyo was such an interesting character. She was murdered by the villain, who tricked both her and her love interest into thinking the other had betrayed them, brought back to life against her will only to find that fifty years had passed, the world had moved on without her, her baby sister was now an old woman, and she'd been condemned to an awful half-life in an unfeeling clay body where she was stuck in her worst moments and basically a vengeful spirit, but she eventually managed to move past it, gave up her one chance at getting revenge on her murderer to save the life of a child, and achieved some measure of inner peace before she died for good. But, she also has the misfortune of being the first love of the male lead, so of course the only thing anyone seems to care about is how she supposedly did him dirty and wasn't good enough for him. The whole fandom is chock full of meta posts about how she didn't trust Inuyasha enough and should have known he'd NEVER betray her like that. Meanwhile, Inuyasha fell for it just as easily when the villain framed HER for attacking HIM, but nobody ever tries to claim that HE didn't trust HER enough. (For further context, when she thought he'd betrayed her, she retaliated by pinning him to a tree and putting him in an enchanted sleep. He retaliated by destroying her village.) In at least 90% of the fanfics that she appears in at all, she's either the Bad Girlfriend or the Evil Ex, who either previously or is currently abusing the hero, or cheating on him, or trying to coerce him into turning human, or dating him for years only to break up with him by telling him he disgusts her because of his demon blood (huh???), none of which she did in the actual canon, solely so the preferred love interest can swoop in and kiss it all better. People will claim they're just making valid criticisms of her actions (which, to be fair, aren't always great), or saying she didn't properly earn her redemption (which is actually pretty standard for a shounen series) because she didn't apologize enough, but them multiple male characters who did far worse than she did somehow miraculously managed to escape the constant criticisms that she's subjected to, this despite having a so-called redemption that's literally just "He stopped eating people because he wanted to get into the heroine's pants", and remain very popular characters both in their own right and as alternate ships for the female lead. The double standards are so glaringly obvious, yet people will bend over backwards and jump through mental hoops that would give a gold-medal Olympics gymnast pause to insist that they're being completely objective and fair and that this isn't just about trying to score points in a ship war or holding female characters to completely different standards from male characters."

Kairi Propaganda

"The Kingdom Hearts game series is about Mickey Mouse battling the forces of Darkness with an alliance of fashionable anime boys. Kairi is a major character, and one of the few female characters. She is part of a trio of childhood best friends, with the protagonist Sora and their other friend Riku (who had a villain arc and then a redemption arc). Though Kairi is constantly and clumsily sidelined by the canon narrative, she arguably has more backstory going on than any other major characters. She is a refugee from another planet. She implicitly lost her beloved grandma at five years old in the traumatic destruction of their hometown. She was kidnapped and experimented on by an evil wizard-scientist—she escaped thanks to having a magic charm that basically teleported her to her soulmate(s). Then she had to adjust to living on a new planet and being adopted by a new family. In the very first game, when she's 14, she turns out her pure heart is one of 7 in the entire universe to be free of Darkness—she shows a full emotional spectrum of fear, sadness, frustration, defeat, but she isn't vulnerable to corruption. In KH2, she becomes one of the Chosen Ones who wield a magical weapon called a Keyblade. She loves her friends very much, and she has the unique talent to instantly recognize them even when they've been transformed into monsters. She has saved them several times with nothing but the Power Of Love in her heart randomly manifesting in, like, telepathy and teleportation and resurrection—she doesn't even consciously know that she has powers, her love is just so great that it's accepted as a tangible force of nature. She is frustrated and ashamed by her role as a damsel in distress, and she wishes to be stronger and combat-capable so that she join her male friends on their adventures instead of waiting around where it's safe. Also she was kidnapped by an evil assassin clown who's ten years older than her, and then they became friends. NOT ONLY does the fandom plug its ears and claim there is nothing interesting about this character and no potential in her story—Kairi has been demonized by the fandom for about 20 years. Somehow Kairi is useless and boring while also being a Mary Sue at the same time. She was called a bitch and a slut and a whore. She was hated for wearing too much pink and wielding a girly weapon with a floral design. She was criticized as a slut for wearing a short skirt, and for THE PLAYER being able to manipulate the camera into a contrived angle to look up her skirt to see her panties in the first edition of KH2. You can find nearly 20-year-old fanfiction and fanart of her being twisted into an evil schemer driving her friends apart, and of her being gleefully brutalized and insulted. Haters STILL comb for every crumb to make elaborate anti-canon theories about why she's an agent of evil, even though canon has FIRMLY ESTABLISHED for TWENTY YEARS since the very beginning that she's THE ONE CHARACTER incapable of growing Darkness in her heart. The theory is that she exists only as a puppet sent by the main villain to sabotage her friends (the plot for two out of the four main female characters) for all ten years of their friendship. The theory is that she's been using her powers to force her friends to love her—and their Power Of Friendship that is the EMOTIONAL BACKBONE OF THE STORY, and THE MAJOR FORCE OF GOOD IN THEIR UNIVERSE, and THE MOST CONSISTENT MOTIVATION FOR THE HEROES is all Just Misdirection LOL building up to a shitty Plot Twist. The theory is that she's secretly a custom-manufactured Chirithy (a cute talking animal companion that serves and guides humans)—and not a human girl with her own natural feelings and aspirations. AND THEN after stripping her of every important trait and role, these fans claim they're making Kairi more important and interesting than she is in canon. I don't know what causes the fandom to so desperately hate a sweet 14-year-old girl who literally canonically never did anything wrong."

#round 1 #round 1B #females fucked over tournament #inuyasha #kingdom hearts #kikyo #kh kairi #fun fact: Kairi was the last character to be submitted

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misty-caligula · 2 years ago

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Okay, so I’m not used to really getting... noticed... in the way that I have been recently. And I’ve been kind of just vibing quietly before I actually respond to anything. But I got some responses to my big thesis post which I think warrant extra attention, because I think perhaps I wasn’t as clear as I wanted to be.

It’s worth mentioning that I have almost 500 posts up at this point, and have been very much immersed in yj theory for a fair while, so it’s hard to necessarily know how clear I am in any given context, and if I’m making assumptions of a reader. So I’m going to respond to a couple of things and see if I can redo a bit of Jackie/Coach stuff. My intention isn’t to say “Ah you’re wrong!” but to reframe my own position. If you don’t like what I’ve got to say that’s fine, I’m just a random on the internet. I’m not Right, I’m just thinking thoughts.

(Long post ahead about meta analysis of jackie and coach and society)

@inthegloomglow

Really good post but… coach and Jackie didn’t deserve to die for not being calm about all of this. They murdered his brother. I’m not sure that’s the point I’m supposed to get? But it’s weird to condemn them for that.

@areyoushuri

!!!! Criticizing Jackie and Coach for not being well adapted to the willingness and struggling to accept the rituals and cannibalism created is odd considering that the vast majority of viewers probably wouldn't survive/accept something like that. Yes, they're stubborn, not built for the wilderness, etc. but so many of the traits we criticize now served them well before the crash.

Okay! So first thing’s first. I do not hate Jackie or Coach. I think they’re both really interesting characters, with interesting through-lines. I think that they’re well acted, well written, and bring a lot of value to the plot. I’ve completely fallen in love with Jackie and Shauna’s really messy ... mess, and will absolutely go on giant tangents about it if you don’t stop me. I find Coach to be a really intricate and tragic portrayal of being queer in the 90s, one that speaks to me as someone who was struggling with being queer in the 90s, and whose dad was queer in the decades prior. I love these disasters, as I love all the disasters on this show.

I’m not critiquing them as people, I’m digging into the metatext of their actions as thematic devices. I also don’t know if this actually needs to be said but I’ll be very clear: If these were actual human beings then I wouldn’t want any of them to die, the point is that they are not humans, they are commentaries on society and culture and trauma and the way that people adapt or fail to adapt to changing situations. I don’t think people deserve to die for being wrong, or making mistakes... I just accept the theme of characters either surviving or dying based on their values within the show. I hope that’s clear, but just in case... there you go.

So my big concept of the show is that there’s this one giant question that the yellowjackets keep getting asked: “What really happened out there?” And that what DID really happen out there, fundamentally, is that there was a fracturing of social realities. Think of it like... the ‘jackets used to be part of “Society,” a huge world-wide group of all connected human cultures as a whole. And then they went off to the wilderness and they lost contact with Society, and they had to build a whole new culture all of their own from the ground up. We’ll call that the Team. Then they were suddenly rescued, after they’d fully given up on ever seeing Society again, and were forcibly thrown back in, and now are expected to just... reassimilate. And they’re struggling to do so.

So if you think about the show as a collection of big chunks, you can think of it like this:

> The ‘jackets are normal kids, living in and learning from, and protected by Society

> Their connection to Society is severed, but they expect rescue, and so they build a micro outpost of Society in the wilderness

> They slowly realise they’re never going to be saved

> They begin to recognise that the values and lessons that Society gave them are not all helpful in the wilderness and will get them killed. They start to develop the Team to replace what’s not working

> The Team grows in power, and the individual survivors have to make a decision about whether they’re going to remain loyal to Society or join the Team. Those who don’t join the Team die, not because they’re bad but because Society cannot protect them in the wilderness. To be very clear, neither Society, nor the Team, are inherently good or bad, they’re simply cultures that exist and offer each individual a place within them to provide and be provided for. But Society is NOT here, it’s a memory of a culture that’s been severed, and cannot provide anything anymore, only the Team is capable of doing so. THAT’S why only Team members can survive.

> The only survivors left are Team members, the Team stabilizes into a functioning self-perpetuating system

> They’re rescued and forcibly reintegrated into Society

> The remaining Team members now find themselves in the opposite situation, the Team is now toxic and can’t help them anymore, just like Society couldn’t help them in the wilderness, and they need to shed it to adapt back to Society just like they shed Society the first time. Those who can do so will eventually live long and happy lives. Those who can’t will die.

Coach and Jackie’s big thing in common isn’t that they suck, or that they’re unpleasant to be around. It’s that they’re Society loyalists. They just can’t let go. And what I think is most interesting about that is that both of them are being MISTREATED by Society. They’ve both been assigned roles that they cannot fill, and have held onto those roles SO tightly that it’s getting them killed.

Jackie’s absolutely plastered with unearned privilege. She’s constantly being told how perfect and brilliant and incredible she is. But she knows it’s a lie. And in order to defend her place, to justify her situation, and protect herself from anyone finding out, she holds Shauna SO close to her, so that she can have someone to feel constantly superior to. To make her look good by comparison. Except that Shauna is so many of the things that she secretly knows she isn’t and feels she NEEDS to be. So she spends a lot of effort beating Shauna down and focusing on convincing her that she has all these flaws and things so that she doesn’t realise that Jackie’s not actually this perfect person that people tell her she has to be.

Once she’s in the wilderness and Shauna starts to shine on her own - because the Team simply needs a different set of skills than Society did and Shauna’s willing to engage with it - Jackie’s control slips and she resents it, she fears it so much. And she can’t accept losing that level of authority that she got given by Society, to take a lower role with the Team. And so she stays loyal to Society even when it’s nonsensical. She sits in the snow and simply waits to be rescued, because that’s what Society has taught her to do.

But the Team doesn’t work like that. It requires Team members to be self-sufficient, and to work together. Jackie won’t go inside because Society has taught her to wait for Shauna to submit to her authority and apologise and invite her in, to give her the position that she Deserves. Shauna won’t do that because the Team has taught her that each Team member needs to be a part of the whole, that Jackie must eventually request permission to join the Team as a regular member. It’s a conflict that doesn’t get resolved, because neither will budge, but in the wilderness the Team can protect you and Society cannot, so Jackie’s faith in Society is punished with death.

That’s why Jackie can’t make a basic campfire to literally save her life. Because the Team would’ve taught her how, would’ve required her to learn. Society would provide her with someone to do it for her. So she just never bothered to learn. It’s why she’s unable to recognise just how dangerously cold it’s getting and be REASONABLE and knock on the door. Because Society has taught her that she’s protected from danger, that if it ever got Dangerous someone would come and help her. She doesn’t know the difference between damn cold and dying cold. Society works because of hundreds, thousands, millions, billions of people working together in intricate systems of mutual support and deep heirarchy. You don’t need to know how to put out a fire because when your house catches fire you call 911. You don’t need to know how to escape the wilderness because when you get lost they send a rescue helicopter. But without the connection to Society its lessons are literally destructive - Sit and wait until you die. Rescue isn’t coming.

Sidenote: If you want to go REALLY deep into the meta of it, the Team then gets rewarded with food by predating on Jackie as a vestige of Society, much the same way as they get little bits of technology by picking apart the wreckage of the plane. The plane is useful to Society as a transport, it’s useful to the Team as a source of supplies. Jackie is useful to Society as a member, is useful to the Team as a source of food. But I digress.

Now Society isn’t always a nice place to be, and Jackie’s not treated all that well within it either. People find her frustrating and comment on how undeserving she is of her position. They actively go behind her back when they can, Jeff cheats on her with her supposedly lesser best friend, Coach Martinez tells her to her face that she’s kinda mid, and people are generally mildly annoyed at her most of the time. But Society has her back, and as long as she plays by the rules, and follows the lessons, her life is pretty much made. It won’t necessarily be everything she ever dreamed of, but she’s solid, pragmatically. But the stress it puts on her, to conform and try to fit the role she’s arbitrarily placed into by Society is going to slowly ruin her and she’ll end up a bitter and unhappy person if she remains completely committed to it (assuming they never crashed, obviously). And what she doesn’t seem to realise is that the Team offers her community, and acceptance, and respect on the terms of her actual reality, on what she’s able to genuinely provide, whatever that is. But she’s so caught up in holding onto Society that it literally gets her killed.

That’s not to say that she doesn’t have a potential place in Society where she could be genuinely happy. Just that the one that she’s assigned isn’t right for her. If she was able to be let go of her fear, if she was able to be honest and stop trying to conform to the expectations put on her by those around her, and take a position in Society that more suited her she COULD have a perfectly comfortable life, happy and healthy. But the fact that she’s been assigned this life path that she knows doesn’t fit, that she’s so insecure about, is what MAKES her such an unwavering loyalist for Society, because she has so much to lose.

And that’s what makes her and Coach so similar. Coach is born in the ‘60s, is brought up in the ‘70s and ‘80s. We don’t know when he realised he’s gay, but it has to have been a very scary thing for him. He has been living in a world of deep and abiding homophobia his whole life (I remember the 90s, I can only imagine the 70s...) and then came AIDS. For his whole life Society has convinced him that living in the closet is a life-preserving choice. That he can get all kinds of value from Society, all sorts of good things, as long as he plays by the rules, fits his assigned role. And being gay simply doesn’t fit his role.

So he hides it. He hides it despite the fear it causes, the pain it causes, the fact that it keeps him away from Paul whom he loves. He takes on a job that he hates, surrounding himself with a bunch of girls who he despises. Because, as Natalie said, if he actually threw in his lot with Paul, if he went against Society, then he’d be reliant on Paul (and by extension the Gay microculture) in a really intense way and if he lost him then he’d have nothing left. He’d have blown his entire life up, and been stuck. Coach, like Jackie, is ruled by his fear that without Society’s handouts of privilege and gifts and authority that he’d simply have nothing left on his own. It’s a painfully real portrayal of the fear and self-hatred that perpetuates the ongoing trauma of the closet in the real world.

He’s spent his entire life giving up real parts of himself for the sake of Society, he’s all-in. And he, like Jackie, is just too invested to let go. He can’t appreciate that Society has nothing to offer him in the wilderness, that the Team can and will protect him if he lets it. A lot of people make jokes about the idea that Coach might be eaten if he sticks around too long, because he only has one leg. But that kind of ablest absolutism is Society thinking. Because the Team still hasn’t turned on him. When they decided they needed to sacrifice someone for Lottie they didn’t say “Okay, where’s Coach gone? Let’s go hunt him.”

The Team just doesn’t have the room to see him that way. NOBODY is expendable in the wilderness, every sacrifice is an agony they struggle to cope with. And... I guess if you wanted to get very dark with it, Coach’s missing leg means that his food value ratio to his potential value as a Team member is lower.

And Coach has shown plenty of value to the team in the wilderness. He’s actually capable of providing real advice as an adult with life experience. He taught them to shoot and hunt, he made sure that Nat wouldn’t get pregnant (thank GOD after the nightmare that Shauna went through), he’s perfectly capable of holding down the fort, and once he’s adapted he’s remarkably capable of getting around. To the Team he’s a pair of hands, a thinking mind, company, experience, and just... a human being. To Society he’s lost a lot of value, but the Team simply doesn’t conceptualise him like that.

And when he WANTS to, he proves how capable he really is. He got to the cliff on his own without too much struggle. He got into and out of the cave all on his own. Not saying it’s easy to be an amputee, but it’s not AS disabling as a lot of people would assume. And he’s still got a perfectly functioning mind, hands, etc. What he doesn’t have is a will to join the Team. To genuinely engage with the reality they’re in.

Again, this is reiterated with a second camp fire disaster, making the point that he’s been in the wilderness for most of a year now and he still can’t do something as simple, as fundamental to Team survival (but not Society survival) as lighting a tiny fire. Because in Society he’d never have to, Society simply provides. And in the wilderness he’s been relying on the Team to provide and not recognised that he’s been doing that. Not recognised the fact that he’s not been pitching in. That every fire he didn’t light someone else did. Every scrap of warmth he’s enjoyed all winter has been provided by the Team, not Society.

In S1E10 when Shauna gives up on Society and finally commits to the Team she does so with a fight with Jackie. And the only person on Jackie’s side is Coach, the other Society loyalist, who - like Jackie - assumes a position of authority based on his status within Society. And Lottie - the Team authority - says “Stay out of it, Coach.” She asserts that this is Team business, that Society has no say here. And, without Society providing the backup behind his words, and without actually contributing anything to the Team (not because he Can’t but because he Won’t) Coach has absolutely no power and no say, and he disengages from this point. And because he simply won’t join the Team his fate is sealed.

Coach also provides a viewpoint on the Team from Society’s perspective. Because the audience perspective is so deeply rooted in the Team, Coach’s viewpoint is the alternative. He’s the last tiny vestige of what they left behind. Like a tourist, watching a culture he doesn’t understand, assuming that he’s better than them, that they’re evil, that he knows what’s Really Going On. That his loyalty to Society will someday gain him some sort of advantage or reward, even as he stands on the edge of the cliff. Because his attachment to Society is so strong that he’d rather die than join the Team, an unthinkable option.

So when Coach sees the ‘jackets eating Jackie, his response of horror is not just that of Coach Ben Scott reacting to cannibalism in his face. It’s also the response of Society to the unforgivable breach of social laws by the Team. The fact that they’re able to do it, that they seem to be enjoying it, completely giving into the deepest taboo... he can’t handle it and neither, by extension, can Society. And as he’s powerless to stop it he simply closes the door, trying to separate himself from them. When he finds Shauna carving up Javi he tries to rescue Nat, the only Team member he sees as somehow redeemable, as a potential Society ally. And when she rejects him, when she shows him that she, who was on the fence, has now willingly and knowingly joined the Team he sees in her his faith in Society collapsing. Because here’s the girl who he put up on a pedestal, as “the good one” and she’s rejected Society. So either a) he’s wrong about Society, and Nat’s right. Or b) he’s wrong about Nat and right about Society.

Or a secret, third option, he could lose himself in a tantrum of repressed rage, burn down the cabin and also throw himself off the cliff, giving up on EVERYTHING in the process. (That’s my personal theory, but we’ll have to wait to find out)

Now he COULD respond at this point by going “Fuck it, fine, I can be a Team member too, if it saves my life.” And he might find in it the kind of value the rest have found. But doing that would require him to accept that they’re never ever going to be rescued. That Society truly is gone. That it was all for nothing. That he gave up his life, gave up Paul, gave up happiness and love and everything ... and never got his reward. No, he HAS to keep holding on, has to keep believing that there is a point, is a purpose to it. For his own sanity.

Again, we can read really deep into the meta of this and say... that’s what coming out of the closet really is. It’s saying “I’m SICK of giving up so much for Society, and I don’t believe that the reward is there, or if it is that it’s worth it. If the alternative is to be a monster, as Society tells me I am if I’m queer, then fuck it I’ll be the monster you say I am. Because that’s what’s going to keep me happy, to give me love, to feed me, and give me a life I want to live.” I’m not saying that it’s a completely 1 to 1 exact match, but you get the idea.

And so Coach tries to destroy the Team, tries to reassert the dominance of Society, because the Team is a bunch of inhuman monsters as far as Society is concerned. They’re deviant, corrupted, feral. But they’re not. They’re just trying to create a new culture that will get them from monday to sunday without dying on tuesday. They’re just trying to face a harsh reality with a perspective that makes sense, to them. They’re neither bad, nor good, neither moral or immoral. They’re surviving, or dying, and that’s what matters in the wilderness.

*Intermission, go grab some snacks*

Okay so this is already really really long, but you can flip the script and watch the exact same story happening in reverse in the adult timeline too. In Season 1 the whole big question is why is Travis dead? Who killed him?

And the answer is... the Team did. Like, in a LITERAL sense, he put the noose on his own neck. And Lottie pressed the button, at his command. He literally did kill himself. But he never intended to die, and what got him there was the Team. He genuinely believed that he needed to do the ritual in order to connect with It for all their sakes. And he - like Coach and Jackie in the wilderness - was wrong. The rituals they’d developed, the beliefs they’d formed to cope in the Team simply were of no use now they were back in Society.

But he couldn’t let go. He couldn’t accept that they were truly out of the danger, that the trauma was really over. That Society could protect them, when he’d had it proven so powerfully to him that it couldn’t help them in the wilderness. And his unending and irrational faith in the Team is literally what killed him. And Lottie, who MIGHT’VE been able to somehow rescue him from the situation - she was standing RIGHT THERE - was herself so absorbed in Team thinking that she instead just stood by as he died.

(Again, I really really need to be clear, I do not hate any of these characters, I love them all dearly and I’m reading into the meta rather than their literal actions, I don’t blame Lott for her actions as I don’t blame Travis for his, this is just how the story is written and WHY)

I could make a similar argument about Nat, and almost did, but she’s SO complex (she and Shauna have such intricate relationships to the Team and Society) it would honestly take up as much space as I’ve already written now and my brain’s getting tired. But I will end with a little thing I thought of as I was writing this.

There’s a third Society loyalist I forgot to mention: Laura Lee.

Laura’s faith in God is mirrored with her faith in Society. Neither are based on anything solid in the wilderness, she never gets any form of external validation of any of her beliefs. She just interprets what happens through her own lens and assumes she’s right. She’s been provided with a role of spiritual authority by Society, in an acceptable religion, and she assumes that she’s competent to hold it. When Lottie comes to her for advice, she provides it and assumes she’s correct. When Lottie sees things she interprets them as though her opinions were fact. When she sees the plane she decides that she should use it to save everyone, and because she decided that, she assumes that it’s God’s will, and so she assumes she cannot fail. That God has her back. Just as she, and Jackie, and Coach, assume that Society has their backs.

In the plane, Laura Lee sees her opportunity to reconnect with Society. And her unwavering faith in the capacity of God to provide protection from harm and Society to provide functional and reliable transportation without needing to work for it ... gets her killed. The lack of connection to Society, and the incapability of Society, and its’ God, to provide for the Team is displayed as a giant fireball in the sky for all to see, proof that they are truly, deeply alone. That Society cannot help them here. But it still takes a while for the lesson to really sink in. And for some of them, it just never does.

#yellowjackets #long post #spoilers #theory #meta

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chibivesicle · 11 months ago

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Gokinjo Monogatari got an English release. I am just - feeling like I got my wish from 1998.

That's right, I'm alive but not very active on the meta for the time being. 2023 sped up for the second half; work got crazy busy for Q4. I worked up to Dec 18th through several weekends so yeah, needed some recharge time.

I don't know how I missed this, but thanks to watching Coleen's Manga Recs, I discovered that the one shoujo manga title that I had been wanting an English release for has finally arrived. Gokinjo Monogatari by Ai Yazawa!

I discovered Gokinjo Monogatari in '98. One of the local comic stores had the first three tankobons and I bought them based on the cover artwork alone.

It wasn't until undergrad I was able to meet a few more people and figure out more than just the name and artist. I tried to find the translation of the manga online, but was unsuccessful. I have to remind people that before scanlations, you had to buy a tankobon and hope you found the text based translation which would have the text according to page number and what panel location. I read a fair bit of Kenshin that way, but sadly, this series was not that popular with readers in the States. I've been moving my entire adult life hauling my three precious volumes of the manga hoping that someday I would first, collect volume 4-7 to complete the picture and that I'd have my matching English version. Granted, I haven't done a good job of looking for volumes 4-7 when I've been in Japan . . . or using the internet either.

As if to spite me, the follow up manga, Paradise Kiss, did get a translation in 2002 from Tokyo Pop which exists in the same universe as Gokinjo Monogatari. Note that a previous manga's characters show up at the Flea Market in Monogatari as well and Yazawa likes to keep a lot of her series tied together. Eventually, the scanlation of the series appeared and I read it around 2011. I'd only found an episode or two of the anime during the golden age of file sharing, but didn't follow through on it. I wanted to read the manga before watching the anime. In 2017, I visited the Manga Museum in Kyoto, got to see a cool display about Ribon magazine and of course they had Gokinjo Monogatari merch! I bought the file folder set and stickers! I bought the Gokinjo Monogatari UT shirt from Uniqlo featuring Ribon series. Yet each time I found more stuff, the universe got the last laugh. Japan released the collectors set with four volumes, there was a French translation, German etc and never one for English. So, you have to realize how I absolutely lost my mind when the thing I'd figured would never happen, happened! Not only was it a thing, I'd even missed the December 2023 release date -at least I didn't have to wait for a pre-order to get volume 1.

I'm happy to see that this version included some of the original color pages!

It has a few more at the end with a photo wall of Mikako's outfits. Everything about the style of this manga, I absolutely love. The fashion goes so hard even now. I get nostalgic with all of the mid-90s Japanese street fashion which has a mix of 60s mod and 70s flare. I think the series also does a good job of capturing that awkward time in your teenage life when you are trying to figure out how to act with people you are interested in. But failing to sort things out. Unlike a lot of other high school manga series, this one stands out with the much more "normal" appearance of the students. I remember picking it up and thinking that the characters looked like they could be my peers; though there is no way Mikako's outfits would pass my high school's own liberal dress code where dyed hair and piercings were permitted. Her bare midriff would get her in trouble . . . Funny how now when I look at it, this is a very unusual high school set up for a Japanese reader likely coming from a more regimented school environment with a uniform and strict dress code. I never thought about it at the time. More that I was plotting my own hair dying plans for when I moved out of the house for undergrad just like the characters had - while still in high school. I did read Parakiss back when it came out from 2002-2005; however, it never really resonated with me the same way a series that I couldn't even find a decent translation for. I started to watch Nana but couldn't get into it at all. Maybe it was my mindset or the fact that I wasn't the mood for young twenty-somethings figuring their shit out.

Yet, here I am in the winter of 2024, and I have volume 1 of the collectors edition format of Gokinjo Monogatari and I'm still loving every little bit of the story as I read it. Perhaps, Parakiss and Nana were more edgier/grittier than something like this which is why they never quite clicked with me. I wanted my fashionable shoujo drama but not over the top. I'm not sure what I'll write about it. It isn't a well known series both due to the fact it is from the 90s and that it is shoujo but perhaps I can reflect on what I was drawn to it all those years ago and what I think about it now.

#gokinjo monogatari #neighborhood story #ai yazawa #mikako kouda

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